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#my love for the people in my life kept me going when i hated myself so much
draygon-lord · 2 months
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Vent
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worldsofdreamers · 9 months
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#tw mentions of homophobic behavior directed towards me /suicidal thoughts in the story in these tags#I’m going to say the vulnerable thing now because I’ve slept and i need it out of my body#it’s been something I’ve been grappling with since we learned 1989 is next#missing someone you know you shouldn’t and hurt you deeply has got to be the worst feeling in the world#and if not the worst than one of them#i want nothing more than to call her and share this moment with her but I refuse to open myself up again to the transphobia and homophobia#that kept me so closeted and miserable for years#because it’s not healthy for me to even unblock that number#no matter how much time has passed I can’t forget how much she hated me when I finally spoke about everything I had boxed up so tight#the excuses she made for her lack of compassion as i poured my heart out#the way it drove me nearly to the edge.#i wish I could’ve been the person that made her re-examine her bigotry because we were best friends for a decade#and no matter how much I poured love into her I wasn’t going to get it back when I needed it#it’s better she’s gone from my life but I wish things could have been different#but when people show you their true colors believe them#and she did#every awful thing you could say to a person coming out to you and so desperate to be understood and accepted she said to me. it’s etched on#mind in permanent marker.#but I refuse to make this about her and I’m going to try to reclaim it for myself and for the me who heard it and knew who they were in that#moment in screaming color when the record ended.#the slightly wreckless. messy. unapologetic lover. the 19 year old kid in the closet who for one of the first time realized that you could#want who you want.#no matter how much that album is linked to her in my mind I’m not gonna let her ruin the beauty of this album i love dearly#the songs that build me up in the bad.#I’ve always loved that the re-records are about reclaiming T’s story and work.so I’m going to lean into that here and do the same for myself#to love the work without that baggage of my ironclad closet#or a ex-friend who nearly drove me to ruin#I’m surprised i could type this all out without crying#but I’m glad it’s out of my system at least a little
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dumplingsjinson · 6 months
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List of random dialogue prompts (pt. 3)
“Truth be told? I miss the times — the me — before I fell in love with you.” 
“You know, I can see myself in, on top of, or under you. What do you say?” “I can see you buried six feet under my very feet if you don’t stop joking about this shit with me.” 
“Was there a point when you fell out of love with me?” “There was a point when I fell in love with you, but never out.”
“When did you fall out of love with me?” “That’s the thing: I never fell out of love with you. You’re the one who fell out of love with me.”
“Right person, wrong time… What if this is the right time? We’re just the wrong people for each other.”
“You have me wrapped around your fingers. Crazy part is, I don’t mind it.” 
“Don’t forget this: I made you. I can easily break you if I wanted to.” 
“I shared pieces of me, with so many people, and none of them kept those pieces safe, and I don’t know if I can risk that with you because it would devastate me if you turn out to be the same as them all. I would be completely destroyed.” 
“Don’t give me that look.”
“You okay?” “No. I need hugs. From you. I need you to hug me.” 
“I just wanna fucking get over you so I can be okay again.” 
“Stop trying to remind me that you’re still in my life. I’m trying to not think about you, for God’s sake.”
“I wanna kiss you so badly right now but we’re in public and I know you hate public display of affection—“ “I’ll allow you to do it this time.” “Wait… Really?” 
“I make shitty decisions and you’re a testament to that matter.”
“I have things to do, and most of them include me trying not to think about you.”
“I’ve never cried because of someone, you know? I didn’t have anyone to cry over. You’re the first, and you’ll also be the last, or so God help me through this embarrassment.” 
“Breaking up with me does not mean you had to kick me off your Spotify playlist, you know? Because damn. As much as I’m upset, your list had some bangers.” 
“You don’t get to do decide my feelings for you.” 
“I’m not bitchless, you fucking dickhead. Take that back!” 
“Every little thing reminds me of you, which sucks because you’re not in my life anymore.”
“It’s kinda weird not seeing your name on my phone when I wake up. It’s gonna take me some time to get used to this.”
“I think I knew this wasn’t going to last when I realised it’s not that I trust you. It’s that I don’t care what you do, and who you might be fucking around with.”
“One text from you has me happier than a child whose mother bought them their favourite candy. It’s not okay.” 
“I don’t share my Spotify playlist with just anyone. It’s like a secret love language of mine, reserved for those I want to let in. You’re one of them, yet you’re here thinking I don’t feel the same way about you?”
“I dunno, I just… Kinda fell for you.”
“You’re the reason why I fell in love with you. You, as a whole.” 
“There are some songs that I can’t listen to anymore, because they remind me of you; of all the times we’ve had together. And it sucks because some of them are great songs. And you fucking ruined them, you asshole.”
“I’m tired of acting like I don’t care, because I do. I fucking do, and that’s what makes this even worse.” 
“One thing you should know about me is that I suck at letting go.”
“So you’re telling me I’m supposed to sit here and give a fuck? You couldn’t pay me enough to do that. I have places to be and things to do.” 
“You need to stop being such a dramatic bitch.” “It’s the only way I can entertain myself, okay? Now piss off and leave me be.” 
“Maybe I shouldn’t have let you go.”
“You deserve someone better than me—” “You don’t get to decide that for me.”
“You ever think about how good we could have been together?” “Yeah. I think about it all the time, and then I remember how badly you fumbled. So yeah, good job.”
“You’re blushing.” “I’m not.” “…Then I guess I’ll have to give you something to blush over.”
“I lost myself while trying to find the good in you.”
“I think it’s comforting that they’re somewhere out there… Even if we never speak again, you know? They were a part of my life, even if it was only for a little while. They made me feel good, even if it was only for a short amount of time.” 
“Remember when you said you’d catch me when I fell? Well, you’re a fucking liar. Figuratively and literally. Now I’m hospitalised and also emotionally scarred. I hope you’re fucking happy about that.” 
“If we break up, I’d look for you in other people and be reminded that they are not you, and that I’d never find someone like you again. And… I don’t think I can bear the thought of that.”
“I give you permission to break my heart.” “And I give you permission to end me if I ever do break your heart.” 
“I have things to do—“ “And I’m one of them.”
“You’re only saying sorry because you want to make yourself feel better, so you can go shove that sweet apology up your ass because it doesn’t mean shit. I hope you continue to feel like shit over what you did, because I’m never forgiving you.”
“I had expectations for someone I knew couldn’t meet those expectations, so that’s my fault for expecting anything from you at all.”
“You? Breaking my heart? It’s funny how you think you even have that power over me.”
“You were like a routine that I loved and it felt… comfortable. But I guess that’s not the case anymore.” 
“You fell in love with the idea of someone that wasn’t even real. You fell in love with your own projections. How are you so foolish to think that it would have worked out?”
“I’m fine. Of course I’m fine.” “Everything about this interaction is telling me you’re not fine — not even close.”
“The idea of us was perfect. Blame me for thinking it would turn out into something good and as fantastical as what I made it out to be in my head.”
“Because no matter what I do, I can’t stop thinking about you and it’s about to drive me to the very brink of insanity, so if you’ll excuse me for not wanting to be near you, that would great.”
“I would not be who I am today if not for you.” 
(pt 1.) | (pt. 2)
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spookysteddie · 4 months
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That Friday Night
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Modern!Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Influencer!fem!reader
read part one here
18+ MINORSDNI
cw: alcohol, drugs (weed and cocaine), clubbing, slight Dom!Eddie if you squint, possessive!Eddie, swearing, pet names, oral (fem!receiving), light choking, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, edging, creampie. (let me know if I missed anything)
wc: 4.3k (I'm so sorry)
a/n: First of all, I want to thank every single person who liked, reblogged or made comments about part one. I was shitting myself posting it because (like I said) this is not an original thought. I'd read a few and it gave me this wave of inspiration. I am very proud of this part. It's also a little long (sorry sorry sorry I couldn't stop) . Also I don't think I'll be doing a tag list? When I used to do that no one on the list would like the fic and it was a lot of work. I hope that is okay? Let me know if you want more! I love and appreciate all of you!
...
You weren’t the type of person who got shy. Your entire job is being in front of a camera, telling people what you like, what you wear, the type of music you listen to. You did brand deals and went on lots of trips with people you didn’t know. Public interaction was easy for you and you definitely enjoyed it. 
But being personally invited to your favorite band's concert (even if you had tickets already) as their frontman's personal guest? It makes you weak in the knees. 
Telling your team about the phone call went about as good as one would expect. Anna and Case frown at you while continuing to say ‘you could’ve let it go to voicemail and we could’ve handled it directly with his people. AND why did you have him send the information directly to you?’
They weren't necessarily wrong in being upset. There were plenty of ways a conversation like that could be twisted and fucked with, especially if, for whatever reason, someone was recording the phone call. It was very easy for them to manipulate and edit that kind of shit, and drama was the last thing you wanted. 
However, the rest of the week went by without an issue. The gossip magazines had moved on to something else (though there were a few who continued to speculate about your non-relationship with Eddie. You did your deals, and kept yourself busy. And by the time Friday rolled around you were hardly nervous. 
Or that’s what you kept telling yourself. 
“Bell bottom star pants. Absolutely,” Hana says from her place on your bathroom counter, practically in the sink. “With that black leather top you love AND the red leather jacket. Oh! Oh! Oh! And the red boots!” 
You put the outfit on, looking in the mirror, “you don’t think it’s too… stereotypical?” 
Hana looks at you through the mirror, “no such thing. You look great.” 
Hana was one of the few people in your life who’d tell you like it is. You could trust her to tell you if her gut feelings were off, or on. She was your best friend and one of the few people who weren’t just here for the exposure. She’s here to be your cheerleader and you were hers. 
“Alright, let's get this going before I change my mind which I am two seconds away from doing.” 
… 
You should’ve changed your mind. 
You can hardly keep from throwing up as you're led by security to a private entrance. To get there you have to pass by their tour buses. All you can hear is loud music and whooping from inside. It’s clear they’re running around in there as the bus is rocking and all you can do is pray they don’t see you. 
You’re far too sober for the interaction you’ll be having at this current time. 
Unfortunately for you, the universe hates you. Just when you think you’re home free, the door opens, almost smacking you in the face. 
“Don’t think you can get away that easy, Asher,” Eddie says as he looks down at you. His pupils are blown wide, clearly from whatever drug he’s consumed. More than likely cocaine and weed. His words aren’t slurred so he isn’t drunk, though he does have a beer bottle in his large hands. 
God his hands, there have been many times where you’d imagine them wrapped around your throat, cutting off air as he fucks you like he hates you. You bet he could reach you even as he’s eating you out, he’s so tall and long. 
You wish you could say the grin you shoot at him is fake, however with the way he’s looking at you, like he wants to devour and smother you, it's not. You feel like a fucking school girl who has a crush. Your heart pounds so fast in your chest and you swear everyone around you can hear it. 
“We weren’t running away,” you say, voice a little breathier than you’d like. “Um this is my best friend-” 
“Hana, nice to meet you,” he cuts you off. It’s then that you see his eyes get wide and you know he’s been stalking your profile. Not that you can say anything because you’ve done it… a lot. “I, uh, saw the instagram story you put up earlier.” 
Hana smirks, “sure you did, big boy.” She pats his chest and is clearly much braver than you. That’s another thing about you and her, if one of you is feeling not confident, the other makes up for it. Like, on your own, asking for ketchup feels like cutting off a limb, but if she can't do it then it's up to you and vice versa. 
Eddie scratches the back of his neck, his black t-shirt stretching over his wide shoulder, “want to join us? We have alcohol!” 
“We would love that. Wouldn’t we?” Hana looks down at you with her brows raised, still taller than you in heels. 
You nod, “yes. Yeah absolutely! Are we allowed to photograph in here?” 
You know it’s a stupid thing to ask, but you also don’t want to take a photo of you and Hana and then not be able to post it. And what if you get photos with the rest of the band? Everyone already knows you’re going to be here. Just not… in this tour bus. 
Eddie nods, holding out his hand, “you are allowed to do whatever you want, pretty girl. And if anyone has an issue, send them my way, yeah?” He kisses the hand you’ve placed in his before leading you up the stairs of his bus. 
It's chaos in there, pure and utter chaos. You turn to look at Hana, silently telling her how insane this is. She nods slightly, but you see the grin on her face. Hana loves this stuff; the parties, the madness, all of it.
Eddie introduces you to the band, pulling you in closer by the waist. “You all need to be on your best behavior. No one touches her. Do you all understand me?” Your heart flutters at how serious he is and it instantly forces his bandmates eyes to fall to your feet. It’s impressive, actually. 
Suddenly, a bottle of beer is in your hands, passed to you by Eddie. “Oh… thank you.” You can hardly look at him as a small smile forms on your lips. His attention makes you feel all kinds of funny inside, your stomach doing flips. You know you have to look at him eventually, but he’s just so pretty that it actually hurts. 
“Um, so are you excited for your show?” This time you manage to actually drag your eyes to his. He smiles at you, his teeth so beautiful and perfect. It’s when he sits down that you realize that was a stupid question. Of course he’s excited. This is his actual job. 
He leans forward, elbows resting on his knees as he looks up at you through his lashes, you could kiss him. But you don’t for obvious reasons. Reasons you can't really think of at the moment. Not when he’s looking at you like that.  The beer bottle hangs in his right hand between his legs. 
“Very. Not much comes close to the feeling I get when we’re on that stage.” He shakes his head, curly hair moving with him, “plus, being able to hear people sing my songs back to me is fucking incredible.” 
His hand finds yours, pulling you a little closer. Eddie is testing the waters, you know this. Unfortunately for you, your brain can’t see through the cloud of lust. So, you let him pull you closer, sit you on his lap, and wrap an arm around you. 
Your brain does catch up, quicker than expected. “It seems like it’d be incredible. I applaud you cause I could never do that. I have stage fright.” 
He blinks up at you, “stage fright? Haven’t you done red carpet interviews and stuff?” 
You shift a little, shrugging, “well yes. But that’s different.” You can't stop the awkward laugh that comes out of you. It was true, it was different. You weren’t exactly sure why but it was. 
Eddie's thumb moves along your side slightly and it leaves goosebumps in its wake. 
“I’m being honest, the lights are so bright that I can’t see everyone in the crowds. Mainly just the front rows. Makes it easier.” 
Eddie puts his beer bottle on the ground by his feet before sitting up and grabbing a joint. He’s quiet as he lights it, puffing out smoke to get it going. “Want some?” 
He holds the joint towards you, waiting for your answer. You’ve done this before at the frat houses at college. You’ve done it here and there in high school as well. This is second nature, but this time you’re nervous. What if you forget how to inhale? What if you throw up? Any number of things can happen. 
Something happens inside you and your brain finally catches up to itself. A small stroke of confidence happens and without taking your eyes off of him, you lean forward, wrapping your lips around the joint and inhaling. His eyes stay locked on yours, his tongue wetting his lips. You pull back, slowly blowing out the smoke. 
“Fuckin’ hell.” It comes out in a whisper and you know he didn’t mean to say it out loud. His eyes falling from your eyes, to your lips and back again. 
God you want to kiss him. His pillowy lips would feel amazing against yours, you just know it. You start to lean into him, desperate to know if you’re right.   
A bang on the door scares the fuck out of the both of you and Eddies boot knocks over his bottle. It’s a good thing he drank most of it, the contents not spilling on the plush carpet. 
“Let’s get going guys. Put your dicks back in your pants, we have a show to do.” You know that voice, that’s their manager. He’s the one who called your people to make sure you had all the rules for this evening. 
Photos are fine. 
Everyone must be tagged. 
Nothing negative. 
Absolutely no photos of any white substances. Even if it’s sugar. 
That last one would be hard considering it was on every flat surface in neat, clean lines. 
You go to stand up, but Eddie stops you, his hand tightening on your hip. “Promise I’ll see ya after?” 
You nod, “y-yeah of course.” 
Before you know it, his lips are on yours. The kiss is soft, sweet and you don’t want it to end. In fact, you totally forget about all the other people in the room. Your hands find his face, pulling him closer as his tongue begs for permission. And once you grant it, it’s game over. 
He tastes like beer and weed and cigarettes and you love it. You want more. You want to get closer. 
But it’s not long before the door to his trailer opens up, his manager stepping into the bus. “I said get your dicks and tongues together. We cannot be late.” 
… 
By the time the show is over you barely have a voice, and you’re sure you’ve never been more turned on in your life. It might seem silly to say, but Eddie's kiss lingered the entire show and all you want is more. 
Back stage the band is still running on adrenaline, drinking water for once to try and refuel for the rest of the night. The rest of the night being a club that they frequent. A club you don’t go to because of that exact reason. 
“Ohhhhh! There's the prettiest girls I’ve ever laid eyes on!” Eddie's voice booms as security goes to double check you and Hana. “Hey! Leave them alone. They’re with me.” 
Security stands back, hands raise like he knows it’ll cause more issues if he doesn’t. You almost feel bad for the poor guy, he was just trying to do his job. Like what if you had a bomb or something? 
“C’mon we gotta get outta here.” He laces his fingers with yours before he pulls you along with him. You look over your shoulder, catching Hana's eyes. 
Go! She mouths, hanging off Gareth's arm. I’ll meet you there! 
And so, you go. Are you nervous? Yes absolutely. Are you going to pretend you aren’t and have some confidence? Yes. Fake it till you make it right?
Eddie opens the door to the car, extending a hand, “ladies first.” 
You grin at him as you elegantly slide into the car, “wow. I didn’t know you were such a gentle man.” This time when you giggle, it's cute and self assured. 
“Yes, I have been told my entire life that I look,” he slides in sucking in a soft, thinking breath, “mean and scary.” 
“You look like a doberman but they’re precious babies.” You mean it too. He looks a little mean and scary, especially in the red lights of the stage. Not to mention the “devil music” (says the media) which can get a little dark. But that’s what makes it great, in your opinion. Plus, he does look like doberman. Like he could probably kill you but would actually not? 
“‘Precious babies?’” 
You nod, “mhm! I grew up with them. Very sweet and love kisses. Oh! And they each had their own comfort toys.” 
“Then maybe I am one because I do love kisses.” He’s closer now, his breath fanning over your face. He still smells like beer and cigarettes mixed in with the smell of his cologne. 
It’s your turn to close the gap and planting your lips on his. The kiss is hotter, more intense. One could argue it’s because of the alcohol swimming in your system that makes you so bold. You’re buzzed, but not drunk. It isn’t long before his hands are in your hair, tugging. It makes you moan in his mouth, opening up to him. 
He sits back, his hands in your hair pulling you with him, making you sit in his lap. Your legs rest on either side of his hips, your cunt nestled right against the bulge in his pants. He couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to. You test the waters by rocking your hips, the friction being so sweet that you’re the one who lets out a moan. 
“God, that is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.” He kisses down your neck, nipping and sucking as he goes. “Should record it and use it in our next song.” 
You hum and grin, “I wouldn’t mind that. Always wanted to be in a song. Can’t sing though.”  
He nips at your ear, “that’s my job baby.” 
Eddie's large hand grips your hips, stopping your movements. You want to whine, you want to protest. You were so fucking close. 
“We’ll save that for when we're back at my place.” 
You grin and kiss along his jaw, “who says I’m going back to your place?” 
“The way you were just grindin’ against my cock, angel.” He grins, “also with how you’re lookin’ at me.” 
“And how am I looking at you? Hmm?” 
“Like you want me to fuck you while your brain leaks out your cunt.” 
You shudder at the crudeness of his words. No one has ever spoken to you like that and looked like him. The car stopping in front of the club saves you from trying to come up with an answer. One you know will either be embarrassing or non-existent. 
He looks over at the paparazzi that is waiting and sighs, “are we going in together or…” 
The decision you make is quick. If you’re going to do this, even for one night, you’re going to do it together and let them talk. You give him a quick kiss, “together. Give ‘em something to talk about, yeah?” 
So, you do. 
The second you’re out of the car, cameras flash and photographers call out a mix of your name and his and you can hardly understand what they’re saying. You don’t stop to pose, letting them only photograph you and him walking hand and hand. Give them crumbs as your manager says. Once you’re in the club, not even needing to show an ID or give a name. 
From there the night happens in a blur. The band has the VIP section where bottles of expensive liquor are brought over by women dressed in a bikini. You know how much all of this costs (more than you can afford that’s for sure) but you also know that all of this is on Eddie and the bands tab. He’s told you six times. 
So you drink. And you smoke. And you watch pretty white lines disappear, most of which disappear up Eddie's nose. Of course you take videos, vlogging your night and making sure to follow all the rules that were set prior to this meeting. Taking photos to remember the night. Hana is having a blast, taking shots like it’s her job and making out with Gareth in between. Of course she takes photos with you, sitting in your lap and giggling so much the photos come out blurry. But those are your favorite kinds of photos. 
“Dance with me?” Eddie says in your ear over the music. 
You take the shot that is in your hands, “lead the way.” 
The second you’re surrounded by sweaty bodies you feel invisible. You’re sure someone has cameras on you and him but at the moment you don’t care. 
Your hips move to the music, back against Eddie's chest while his hands explore your body. His lips move against your neck, sucking a dark mark into it that you know you’ll struggle to cover later. Again, you don’t care. What you do care about is the hardness that you feel against your back. 
You spin around, grinning up at him. God he’s so fucking tall you have to tilt your head up a good bit to look at him. 
“We should get out of here,” you say as he pulls you into him. 
He smirks, “thought you weren’t coming back to my place sweetheart.” 
“Seems I told a fib. Now, I need you to take me home and fuck me like you hate me.” 
It’s all he needs before he’s grabbing you by the hand and pulling you out of the club. The car is there and he quickly pulls you into the back seat. Once those doors are closed, the window tint so dark you couldn’t see inside if you tried, his mouth his on yours. Your stomach flips and the neediness you feel coming off of him. He pulls you till you’re straddling him, legs on either side of his hips. Not really the safest but at this point, all you need is his lips on you. 
The ride to Eddie’s consists of lots of kissing, so much so that you know your lips are swollen. You don’t get to see much of Eddie’s house, too focused on getting inside the house and into his bedroom. He drags you up the stairs, your hand is his. And once you’re in his room, he has you pressed up against his bedroom door. 
“You’re so fucking hot, baby.” Eddie pushes your jacket off your shoulders while he speaks, his words going straight to your clit. Your mind can barely comprehend that Eddie Munson, the man you’ve had a crush on since they were considered an ‘underground band,’ is currently taking off your clothes. 
You do the same to him, pushing his leather jacket to the ground before tugging at the ends of his shirt and pulling it over his head. “Me? You are so beautiful.” 
He hums, popping the button on your jeans, “should we take a poll on who's prettier? Winner takes the loser on a date?” 
That makes you laugh, “sounds like a deal. But first, you need to fuck me.” 
His eyes nearly go black at that and before you can think, he’s throwing you on this bed. You land with a small oomph. You decide to take a little initiative, pulling off your boots, scooting off your pants and pulling off your top. 
Eddie watches, rapt and almost possessed, his eyes scanning your partially naked body. It’s not anything more than someone would see if you posted in a bathing suit, but you can’t help but feel nervous that he isn’t going to like you. 
He quickly puts those fears (fears he knows nothing about) to rest as he settles between your legs. His eyes don’t leave yours as he kisses up your thighs. You know there is a wet patch on your underwear and you know he can see it. You do feel embarrassed about it, but at the same time, Eddie is slightly rutting against the bed so he must like it. Right? 
You can feel your body heat as he gets closer and closer to your center. 
“Eddie, please don’t tease me.” Never have you begged a man. Typically whoever you were in bed with did the begging, much to your dislike. You were desperate for someone to take charge. Now you know why they didn’t. One bruise and they get shit from all your followers. Even if you tell them to leave these men alone. 
But Eddie? He wasn’t afraid. 
“But it’s so much fun to watch you squirm.” 
You huff, squirming exactly like he said as he sits up to pull your underwear down your legs before setting back between them. “Need you to touch me.” 
He licks a stripe up your slit, sucking on your clit as he gets to the top. The sound that falls from your lips is beautiful, sweeter than the sound you made in the car. Now Eddie really wants to put you in a song, but the jealous, primal side of him never wants someone else to be able to hear your moans. 
In fact, he doesn’t want to think about any of the other men who’ve heard you make these sounds. Murder wasn't really on his list of things he enjoyed. Bar fights? Yes. Murder? No. 
“You make the prettiest sounds, sweetheart. S’very hot.”  He slides two fingers inside you with little resistance, curling them up to hit the spongy spot inside you. The stretch feels good, your hips moving on their own, riding Eddie's fingers. 
You're close, the build up of this moment really getting closer than you originally thought. “Squeezin’ my fingers so tight, baby. Are you close?” 
You nod, afraid if you speak you’ll say something ridiculous. 
But that isn’t good enough for Eddie. “Words.” 
“V-very.” 
That was clearly the wrong thing to say because he pulls his fingers from inside you, the emptiness making you gasp, “no! No, no, no I was so close!” 
He laughs as he pushes his pants and boxers off his body. “Exactly. Want you to cum with my cock inside you.” 
You look down between your bodies and your eyes widen. He was big and you accidentally voice what you’re thinking, “fuck… not gonna fit.” 
His laugh drags your eyes back to him, his cock moving through your slick and bumping your clit. “Baby you are so wet that I have no doubt it’ll fit.”  
You don’t have time to be embarrassed about it because Eddie is pushing inside you. The size of him stretching you makes you feel like he’s going to split you in half. But you don’t care, the burn just turns you on more and more and before you know it he’s seated inside you fully. 
“Fuck, Eddie.” 
Eddie is panting, trying to keep still so he doesn’t cum before he wants to. “Feel so fuckin’ good, sweetheart. A man could become obsessed with this pussy.” 
He moves right as you begin to speak, nearly knocking the air out of your lungs. He feels like he’s everywhere. “W-witchcraft” 
He fucks you harder, his cock hitting your cervix. You’re definitely going to have a bruise there but it's so worth it. 
“Didn’t know you were into dark shit. S’my schtick.” 
You wrap your legs around him, orgasm building again, “more alike than you originally thought huh?” 
He wraps a tattooed hand around your throat, squeezing gently and making your head spin, “oh, angel, I knew how alike we were the second you told everyone how bad you wanted to fuck me.” 
“C-can you blame me? Knew you’d fuck me just h-how I like.” 
You clench around him making him hiss, “yeah you need someone who will take control huh?” 
The hand around your neck slides down your body till he finds your clit, circling it. 
“Oh god! Please.” 
“I can get used to you prayin’ to me.” His thrusts are losing rhythm (something he’s usually very good at keeping) and you know he’s close. “Cum baby. I need it.” 
And it’s all you need to fall over the cliff and into bliss. He follows you, coming inside you while you squeeze around him. You both moan each other's names and you sigh as you come down. 
Eddie breaks the silence first, “that was… amazing.” 
You hum in agreement as he slides out of you and curls up beside you. You take a moment before getting up and cleaning up in the bathroom. When you come back Eddie has left out an old Corroded Coffin t-shirt and some boxers. And once they’re on, you slide back into his bed, laying your head on his chest.
“We should put that poll up, huh? I’m itching to win this bet.” Eddie laughs as he says it and before you know it, you two are finding a photo the both of you like and posting it on your story with the caption, ‘which one is prettier? Honesty is the best policy.’ 
“And now… we wait.”
879 notes · View notes
jinkiezzsstuff · 13 days
Note
Hello!!!
Can I put in a writing request??
Because I love your writing!!! 🥹
Can you do (either human alastor.. or demon alastor i love both but human alastor has a chokehold on me haha) but his partner is plus size and they are very self conscious about it
Can be smut if you like (I'm waaaay okay with that)
omg yessss i’m gonna do human alastor because he does need some attention <3 also felt this personallyyyy so i did it sooo fast 🙈 ima chunky gorl myself and with summer approaching things always get tough. i lot of what i wrote here is my own personal experience and shit so i don’t want anyone to think this is something they should feel or notice or be ashamed of! Just so you know!
warnings: SMUT 18+, gender neutral but use of clit, feral alastor, Human!alastor, kinda ooc in the way he is ravenous for reader sexually, reader doesn’t know he’s a murderer, self loathing, self hate, body worship maybe, biting breifly, alastor kinda rich or whatever for the time, insecure reader, plus size reader, body part like stomach thighs highlighted, crying, husband alastor, comfort from Al. swearing, lmk if there’s anything else! NOT PROOFREAD YALL
also i wanted to use junoisded ‘s work (on IG) but i don’t think they like things reposted unless asked and i am way to shy but go check them out their human alastor is mouthhhhh watering gawd
Closing the door behind you, you sat your bag on the table a sullen look on your face. It was particularly difficult week for you, it was getting warmer in New Orleans and when it got warm what was really meant was hot humid gross. It almost felt embarrassing at times to leave the house, the clothes companies made weren’t anything like what other people wore they were hideous, and you sweat, and just felt kind of self conscious.
Especially with Alastor. His popularity grew expeditiously over the last couple of years, with people now being able to recognize his voice all around. His popularity was a gift and a curse, a gift because you didn’t have to work through the stock market issues whereas many people your age did, and a curse because more women and men alike wanted him.
You weren’t jealous because Alastor made it pretty clear he only had eyes for you, however you couldn’t stop the comparison, you usually felt decent about yourself and your looks and Alastor made you more assured in your beliefs. But as more people would recognize him, and he’d give them that charming smile, and they’d flirt, you’d get a little jealous and insecure.
You walked into yours and Alastors shared bedroom, slipping off your shoes and looking into the mirror. You wanted to buy some nice clothing for an event you and Alastor were attending within the week, it was very hush puppy as it served contraband, however you couldn’t find anything at the market, and the tailors would be just too much to ask of Alastor.
Your lip quivered not with sadness but frustration, you just wanted to be at the same level as everybody else, without the issues, and being constantly told how to eat or use your body or dress yourself. Sitting on the bed your thighs spread out around you, stomach resting atop. Tears kept flowing pitifully as you took a moment to wrap your head around your spiraling thoughts. Taking a deep breath you wrapped your arms around your back, begining to take off the clothes that stuck to your sweaty body.
‘Loose leisure clothes.’ You chanted as you shook your trousers to your ankles and opened the drawers to your dresser. You remembered as you caught sight of one of Alastors red suit jackets, a gentleman who had commented that Alastor was far too small to lend his jacket to you on a cold night, which make you feel so bad about yourself. Slamming the drawer closed you cradled your head, this wasn’t fair, you would be ten times better with yourself if people weren’t so casually cruel.
You were okay, you were loved, but it seemed in other aspects of life people had to assure you weren’t due to how you looked. “My dear, what’re you doing all dressed down like this?” Alastors voice rang out joyfully. With a jump and a squeak your arms go to cover your body, however Alastor had already turned his back for you. “I’m so sorry sweetheart! I should’ve knocked!” Even though Alastor was being respectful, a nagging voice in the back of your head told you it was because he couldn’t stand the sight of you.
“Uhm, well you can look actually…” You muttered voice just above a whisper as you rubbed your arm. Alastors hands were on his hips, elbows pointed out head facing down, then he perked up head looking behind him. Smile present on his face his eyes shamelessly drank you up. “I couldn’t find any clothes,” You mutter your throat closing as the tears returned with the thoughts of before.
Alastors body finally turned his smile falling as he watched your from recoil away from his gaze. Stepping into the room his dress shoes clinked against the wooden floor as he approached you his arms outstretched to you. Immediately you fell into his embrace holding back the urge to cry, you wanted to be as strong as he was; smiling through no matter.
However when his hand began rubbing your back, soft words of worry falling from his lips, you lost it. Burying your face into his shoulder you cried, muttering your insecurities into him as he cradled you. “And Alastor they must think i’m a joke, you’re so small compared to me.” You cried out, pulling back to look into his chocolate eyes. Quickly he pulled a handkerchief from his vest pocket, his smile now a frown as he watched tears roll down your cheeks.
“My my, that’s the best part doudou. I love having flesh to bite, grip, squeeze,” Alastor grinned speaking through his closed teeth as he gripped your waist pulling your hips to his and you looked down hiding your face at his ridiculous nickname for you. “I feel proud to be able to feed you, my mother would be proud too, she’d absolutely love you. Worry not my dearest doe, i will have anything tailored to your need, and any crude bastard to comment on you I will hand slaughter the night of thee event, just to send a little message.” Alastor puffed his chest into you, his voice strangely dark and possessive, his eyes gleaming with pride as he kneaded your flesh beneath his fingers.
You never thought about it like that Alastor being able to properly provide for you, no; that was the fun of Alastor though he always knew how to twist things into something better than. Not to mention the idea of him being willing to commit a crime for you in the midst of a serial killer going around, that was something very special to you, strangely enough.
“Alastor you’re insane sometimes, but i love you.” You grinned finally, in turn making Alastors smile return larger then ever. Hands crawling up his chest and neck, you pulled him close and into a kiss. Your immediately Alastor gave into your tug, crashing his lips quickly onto your own roughly, his body grinding into your own as he did so, impatient to show you how much you mean to him though his psychical affections.
His hands gripped every little bit of flesh they passed, trailing up and down your body rolls and all, indulging his desire for you. You moaned lightly into his mouth when you felt the hard pressure of him pressed against your thigh. Alastor pulled away biting your lip as he did so, dragging it out. His eyes were lidded and one of his perfectly gelled curls fell forward and down touching the brim of his eyeglasses. “See how quickly you make me indecent my dear? Oh sweet doe, you make me so disgusting.” Alastor whined in a way, which you’d never heard, and stuffed his head into your neck, kissing, biting and sucking at your warm neck
“Alastor i’m sweaty!” You squeal as he dragged his tongue up your neck, biting at the flesh under you chin. “I know,” He mumbled quickly barely breaking away from decorating your neck. “So stop!” You huffed noncommittally as your hands came down to rest on his shoulders, lightly pushing him. “Why my little doe, you taste better this way.”
Alastor pulled back his coy smile on display as he did so, there was something so disbelieved and feral about how he looked despite not being unkept in the slightest. You felt slightly embarrassed by him admitting he liked you sweaty, but it was also comforting knowing that things you thought made you repulsive, actually attracted him.
“Come to bed with me, chérie?” Alastor hummed slyly, pulling your wrists gently toward the direction of the bed, where he was walking. “To sleep?” You asked flatly eyebrow raised, this caused a genuine laugh to bubble out of Alastors chest his head shaking just a bit. “No, and i think you knew that.” He whispered as he tugged you into him and then down onto the bed. You tensed as he did so, sitting up on your elbows you look at him and scold him.
You paused as Alastors gaze beat down on you hotly, it was sinful how he was looking at you with that cheshire grin on his face. He pulled off his glove with his teeth and used his degloved hand to remove the other one before he undid his vest, chucking it aside carelessly. You took a deep breath your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you watched him closely.
Yes you’ve had sex with Alastor before, although neither of you had a high libido so it wasn’t often, and when it was it wasn’t needy like now, no, it was loving, passionate. Alastor tossed his shirt aside crawling ontop of you right after, groaning as he pressed his bulged into the warmth of your thighs. Whimpering you covered your eyes unable to face the lustful look he was giving you.
His warm flesh melted into yours as he lowered himself ontop of you, his skin hot and sticky from being out in the louisiana heat, his breath tickled your skin as his lips dragged around your neck teasingly. “Gosh Al, I - you’re making me feel so- please.” You moaned quietly unable to place the feeling coursing through you. A mixture of wanting to beg him to devour you and wanting to hide yourself away from his heated gestures.
“What is is it you need, my dear?” His voice was sweet like honey as he breathed his sin into your ear, hand coming up under the leg hole of your undergarments, inching closer to your core. You breath was quievered as your hands found there way to his slightly musicled biceps, sinking your nails into them. Finally he backed up on his knees, and yanked down your undergarments, making you gasp.
Your husband has never been this, it made you dizzy and confused, why has he been hiding such ravenousness from you? Alastor looked down at you with pity, your legs reflexively closed before he could get a glimpse of your pretty. “Please darling don’t be modest, I need you more then ever now. I’m a starved man don’t you know? I need your quench.” You watched him as he spoke, his eyebrows knitted his face soft as he mockingly pleaded with you while he undid the button in his slacks and soon pulled down the zipper.
With jagged breaths you watched him disrobe, pulling his cock from his boxers and stroking it for you to see. Precum dripped from the tip and down his shaft, mixing into the dark coiled public hair at the base. “Oh fuck Alastor,” You whined looking away, you heard him chuckle at an octave you’ve never heard before. “What’s wrong darling? Can’t stand to see how perverse you make me? How cruel, honestly.” He huffed before his warm hands came to grip on your knees, yanking them apart. “My dear, you’re absolutely devine, you have no idea. It’s sickeningly cruel on my part, but I can’t help but be greedy about the way I only get to have you. In a world of commons, i get the rare.” Alastors hips slotted in between your thighs like many times before but this time you were so soaked you needed no foreplay. The head of his shaft prodded at your entrance, making your hips tilt forward attempting to gain friction and contact.
“Please Al, don’t make me beg you.” You moaned quietly, ashamed of how quickly you bent to his will. Alastor grinned down at you, admiring your body relaxed and needy beneath him. There wasn’t a soul he’d replace you for, you were everything and more. He could come clean about his murders and you’d kiss his cheek and serve him some whisky for his stress, because you were family, you were his.
Alastor slid into you slowly, feeling every inch of you against him, his thighs pressed against your own, he loved the feeling of you consuming him all at once. The way your body embraced his own was heaven on earth, you were his comfort that he didn’t deserved. As he watched you beneath him gasp, shake and moan as he sunk into slowly, harshly and repeatedly, he whispered sweet nothings to you. He let out a condescending chuckle while calling you a good pet, told you your body was his to love too and for shame for berating it.
You saw stars and he would slowly pull out and slam back in, believing that was the extent of this session. However, Alastor pressed his hips fully up against your own, kneading the softness of your belly as he stilled. Leaning down he captured you in a kiss, catching you off guard. You reciprocated fisting his curly hair and pulling him closer, which in response made him growl and grunt into you. He felt you clench around him at the sound, and in the moment decided he’d show you how good you make him feel, how much he loves you.
Suddenly Alastor pulled his hips back, and grinded back down into you, his public hair tickling your swollen clit, juices from your arousal squelching as he did so. This time he wasn’t slow, his pace was even and moderate, fucking you into the mattress so hard, the springs snapped, the wood creaked and you swore the bed frame was moving. Alastor pulled away from your swollen lips burying his face in your neck, he moaned for you.
You rolled your eyes back at the sounds he made, ahs, uhs and groans that were only for you. “Oh fuck Alastor i’m gonna cum,” You squeaked clenching your toes tightly as he jackhammered into you, breathing and gasping into your ear as he felt you grip him. Alastor wasn’t proud to admit it but he was too weak to respond, instead he bit down, sucking and groaning into your skin. His pace got clumsy as you cried out in ecstasy, coiling your body around him as you came harshly.
Your arm around his back, one arm around his neck and gripping his hair, and your legs tightly locked around your hips, yeah Alastor couldn’t resist himself from shooting strings into you. Your body jolted as he came shaking your while body, his grunts and whines making your sensitive hole clench him nearer. Without a warning his body collapsed ontop of yours, a deep breath escaping him as he finally relaxed. “I’ve never felt that before dear,” Alastor admitted after a moment of silence. “Me neither, made me forget about everything.” You say hazily, your voice lifted and raw from the noises you let out.
Alastor chucked his fogged glasses to the side, pulling himself out with a huff. Smiling sweetly you watched him gently place a kiss on your stomach and walk off. Sitting up you nearly went to call after him, before his naked body came waltzing back with a rag. “Wanna have a lazy evening in chérie?” You hummed approvingly, and attempted to take the rag, he scoffed at you and lightly pushed your hand away. Softly and embarrassingly so, he cleaned you from himself, enjoying the sight while he was at it.
Once finished Alastor returned the rag as you readied the bed, wanting to cuddle with him. Coming back in Alastor went to grab you both clothes before you called to him. “Can, well- i want to feel you still?” You questioned more than said. Shutting the drawer with a slam he grinned like the little cheshire he was and crawled into bed with you. You pulled him in and he you, nuzzling yourself into his chest you whimpered at the contact, feeling various emotions run through you.
“I chose you my dear, for many reasons not only your looks, your love, your passion but your body too, I love all parts of you, and I know how thoughtless people can be, I will protect you from those comments in the future.” Alastor whispers into your head kissing the top of it right after. You caressed his chest with your nails, throwing your leg over his torso. “Thank you Alastor. I love you too, hell there’s nothing that would make me not love you.” Alastor scoffed his grin returning. “Even murder?” He questioned angling his neck to the side to meet your eyes. Smiling up at him you gave a point nod. “Even murder.”
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flowerygrdn · 5 months
Text
chasin' you | z. maclaren
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pairing: zach maclaren x reader
warnings: fluff, fluff, and... wait what was it....oh, MORE FLUFF!!!
summary: zach seems to have taken an interest in y/n. she definitely does not believe he actually likes her. no matter how often she says "it's never gonna happen" he can't seem to give up. maybe he actually does mean what he says...
a/n: um...hi. i'm back from the dead...anyways let's get on with the story. luv ya!!!!
---
For the love of God, I just couldn't get rid of him! Why me? Out of every single girl in this university, he has to go for me?! This has to be a joke. This has to be a dare...or or a bet, yeah that's what this is. A bet. Probably by his soccer buddies.
There is just no way that Zach Maclaren keeps asking me out. This is the third time this week he's weaseled his way next to me during a lecture. His arm was around the back of my uncomfortable wooden chair and his knee kept bumping mine every so often. Fuck my life, people were also dead staring at us. The universe must hate my guts.
"So, maybe after this, I can take you to that coffee shop a few blocks away." He whispered in my ear. His nose kept brushing the side of my face and chills kept spreading throughout my body. God damn it, why is he doing this to me?
"Unlike you, I'm actually trying to learn. So get your arm off me and leave me alone!" I whisper shouted the last part at him. I also whacked his arm off of my shoulder. However, instead of getting offended, he took it as a challenge. The arm that was once wrapped around my chair moved to my lap. He leaned forward in the chair, acting like he was paying attention just so he could put his hand on the farthest part of my leg. He started rubbing circles with his thumb and I'd be lying if I said it didn't give me butterflies.
I try to the best of my abilities to pry his hand off but he would not let go.
"You know some people would consider this harassment," I whispered to him again.
"And yet, your muscles relaxed when I put my hand there." I could hear the smirk in his voice, he didn't even have to turn his head. My mind blanked for the last half of the lecture, it wasn't until Zach snapped me out of my trance that I realized it was time to leave.
"Hey, baby, time to go." He took my hand as if he were trying to help me up, but I yanked it out of his grasp.
"I can get up myself, thank you. And don't call me baby. I am not your baby!" I shove my finger in his face and start towards the door.
"No...but you could be," Unfortunately for me, he has longer legs, therefore he caught up with me really fast. His head met my shoulder and his hand went to my waist.
"God, do you ever take a vacation from being an annoying jackass?" I roll my eyes and shrug my shoulder to get him off.
"Nah, it's too fun. Hey, but maybe, you can take me out. I would be a lot less annoying if you'd shut me up. Preferably with a kiss." He spun me around, hands landing on my waist, and smirked as he leaned in just enough for me to feel his breath fan across my face. I raise my hands to his neck, which causes his smile to widen. I smile and act like I'm going to kiss him.
At the last second, I smack the side of his head and begin to walk away.
"Ow...so what, no goodbye kiss?" Once again I hear the smirk in his voice as I walk to my car.
---
Once again, I was just minding my business eating and drinking my coffee, when all of a sudden the chair beside me was pulled out and a familiar figure was seated next to me.
"Ugh, not today Maclaren. I need a break." I lay my book down and begin to rub my temples.
"Aww, why so stressed, baby? Need me to rub your shoulders? Or better yet how about an infamous "feel better kiss" He leans in and fully expects me to kiss him, however, I pick up my doughnut and shove it against his puckered lips.
"I'll pass, thank you." He grabs the doughnut and takes a bite out of it.
"You know, I guess I'll settle for your half-eaten doughnut." He says as he begins to devour the treat.
"You're crazy, you know that, right?" I say in utter shock that he won't give up.
"Crazy about you, baby." He smiles wiping his mouth.
"Damn and cheesy." I pick up my coffee and take a large sip of it before picking my book back up. I hear a metal chair drag against the ground and the next thing I know, Zach is breathing down my neck. He lays his head on my shoulder and picks my legs up to lay them across his lap. And fuck me, I don't stop him. "Why the hell didn't you stop him?" you may be asking, and to that I say...I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!!!!
"You're so pretty and you smell good. You're smart and caring. You love your friends and family unconditionally. You read Jane Austin over and over again. You're taking Criminal Justice because you believe the justice system is fucked up and you want to change that. You're probably the most perfect person I have ever met." Zach says each and every word into my neck as he rubs his thumb up and down my thigh. All the words in my book began to blur. It's funny because, at the time, I was reading "Emma" by Jane Austin.
He knew everything about me. He listed the reasons why he liked me. To top it off, he's holding me like I'm the most valuable thing in the world. Does Zach Maclaren like me? Like actually? No Bullshit?
"I like you, y/n. No bullshit." It's like he read my mind. I look at him and see the complete adoration in his eyes. He actually means it. He lifts his head and kisses my cheek before softly setting my legs down. He gets up and turns to me one last time.
"I want you to like me how I like you. I want you to see me how I see you. And if you don't, then I can live with that. As long as you tell me the God's honest truth." Then he's gone. The coffee shop doorbell rings and I just sit there. He wasn't joking, he actually meant every word he said.
Zach noticed things no other guy had. He sees me as more than a pretty face. God damn it the justice system is fucked up! Maybe I do like Zach Maclaren...
---
I stand by the locker room doors and wait for him. He told me to tell him the truth, so that's what I'm coming to do. Fuck man, it's too cold and I am too nervous to be standing here right now. Soon, I heard the door open. Zach came out with a few of his teammates. He spotted me and froze for a second.
"Hey, I'll catch up with you guys later." He tells his friends and they run off. He stands in the same spot. The silence is so loud and I can't stand it.
"Hi," I said, full of nerves.
"Hi," The smile on his face was enough to make a girl melt.
"You did great, congrats on the win."
"Yep, thanks." I could tell he was waiting for me to say what I really wanted to say.
"That's all I needed to say...bye!" I went to run off but my wrist was caught by Zach.
"Nah uh uh, you could not pay me enough to believe you bought an eight-dollar ticket, sat through an hour-long game, stood by the locker room door for half an hour, and waited for me to come out just to tell me congrats." He could see straight through my bullshit and it was scary. He pulled me closer and let go of my wrist. His arm then snaked its way around my waist.
"Talk to me, baby." His words were like music to my ears. His voice was delicate and soft. I could just...well...you'll see.
"Um...so IcametotellyouthatIreallylikeyouandIwanttobewithyouandyoumakemereallyhappyandyeahthat'sall." My words were all jumbled and he looked so confused.
"Okay um...a little slower, please." He laughed and I took a deep breath before responding,
"I like you, Zach. And I want to be with yo-" Before I could get the last word out, he smashed his lips against mine. My hands went to his neck and his hand that was holding his soccer bag let go and went to my neck. The kiss was filled with so much adoration and passion. We only pulled apart when we had to breathe.
"I only needed to hear the first sentence." He smiled as he rubbed the side of my face.
"So...is that coffee shop offer still on the table? Baby" His smile widened and he looked up at the star-lit sky.
"Of course it is. Damn, all this chasin' you made me do, baby." With that, he connected our lips again.
---
a/n: hehe again, sorry for falling off the face of the earth. I'll try to be more active!
---
601 notes · View notes
lunajay33 · 2 months
Text
Change
•🩰🎀🩷•
Summary: Y/n is a loner but loves ballet but her family doesn’t have enough money for her to dance at the studio, Daryl is a redneck who hates people and prefers bikes, until one day these two run into eachother and their lives change drastically, will Daryl toughen her up? Will y/n soften Daryl? Or both? How will things go when people start coming back from the dead
Pairing: Young Daryl Dixon x f!reader
A/n: This is going to be a series, it’s gonna start with how they met eachother and their lives before the apocalypse, eventually it’ll blend with twd story line!!
•Masterlist•
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I’ve always wanted to dance, to strap on pretty pink ballet slippers and wear the tights and everything, ever since I was a little girl and first watch Swan Lake, watching how there was a light beautiful side but how also a dark side to a person it hooked me, but that dream was quickly crushed when my parents refused, saying they didn’t have enough money to put me in ballet because my older brothers football was more important and they couldn’t afford both at once
It’s always been like that, whatever my brother wanted he’d get within a reasonable price, but when I asked for the simplest things they would get mad and always turn me down, saying I should get a job if I ever wanted anything. So that’s exactly what I did, I got a waitressing job at the little diner in town, working after school and on weekends just hoping to be able to save enough for ballet classes, but balancing school and work everyday is exhausting and having a terrible home life ontop of that doesn’t help
My older coworker told me to make some friends and that might help things, help distract myself for a while and have a person to relay on for once but it wasn’t so simple, if you weren’t drop dead gorgeous, or had nice clothes and money in my school then the girls treated you like a ghost
So here I am sat at my usual bench under the wilting tree behind the school for lunch, sitting in the cafeteria all alone at a whole table felt pathetic, embarrasing, plus it was more comforting here, no pry judgemental eyes, plus the air out here smelt of fall, fallen crisp leaves, the towns forest right behind the school, it was comforting
I finished my lunch putting the book I was ready away in my bag and made my way back for my next class, biology and today we were getting a new seating arrangement, one I’ve been waiting for the whole month since I was sat next to one of the mean girls, I took my seat right as the bell rang
“Okay class today we are moving around, so find your spots” she said as she projected the new seating up on the board, I found my name at the second table to the back on the left, I made my way noticing I was sat with Daryl Dixon. He was quiet, usually kept to himself kind of like me, people would always talk bad about him but never dared say anything if his older brother was around, I remember the times my brother would complain about how obnoxious Merle Dixon was….as if he wasn’t the exact same
I plopped down next to him taking out my books and pencil case
“Hi”
“Hey” he said keeping his eyes on the table
That’s all we said to each other the whole period until the end of class
“Okay everyone, whoever you’re sitting with is now going to be your new lab partner, you’ll be working on this project together outside of class and it’ll be due at the end of next week, so I advise you figure out a time and place to work on this” she said as she handed out papers seeing it was a project on the cycle of frogs and their habitats
There was 10 minutes left in class for us to figure out how to get this project done, I turned in my seat looking at Daryl, up close I noticed he was actually kinda cute in a mysterious way
“Would you like to come to my house tomorrow so we can work on it?” I asked as tomorrow was Saturday
“Sure” I wrote down my address and gave it to him right when the bell rang
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I was getting ready for Daryl to come over, I don’t know why I was so nervous maybe because I’ve never really had many people over and that my parents and brother were psychotic and mean and I didn’t want him to witness that. I looked in the mirror brushing out my hair that I’ve combed through a hundred times already, hoping my outfit was nice enough, a whiteish sweatshirt that had a hint of blush pink to it, paired with black leggings just wanting to be comfortable but hopefully still cute, that’s when I heard a knock at the door
“ILL GET IT!” I screamed not wanting anyone else to answer especially not my brother since he knew Daryl was Merle’s brother
I stood infront of the closed door huffing out a breath to calm my jitters, I opened it and there he stood, hands in pockets with his usual gruff demeanor
“Come in” I said stepping aside for him to come in
“Do you wanna work in my room?”
“Sure” he said as he kicked off his shoes
I lead the way to my room, it wasn’t a big house so it wasn’t like we had to go down hallways to get to my room, I closed the door when we got in as he dropped his notebook on my bed looking around my room which made me anxious, my walls had little framed photos of Swan Lake, little painting of ballet slippers, my room wasn’t much since my parents put so much into Jackson’s room but these photos were all I had to keep me happy
“Nice room” he said with a smirk
“You don’t have to lie” I said smiling as I crawled on my bed sitting up against the head board as he followed to sit at the foot of the bed
“I ain’t, it’s…..different, do ya dance?” He asked looking back to the pictures I adored
“No, I’ve always dreamed of it though”
He looked at me with a strange look I couldn’t read
“Well why don’t ya?”
“My parents won’t let me, said Jackson football is my important and will lead to something” I said shrugging my shoulders, if anyone could understand brother problems it would be him
His usual glaring eyes softened but I didn’t want the pity, I thought about my crushed dream enough I didn’t want to think about it more so I flipped open the text book to the section we needed and we got to work, it was silent for the most part and I welcomed it, until we took a break
“Merle says yer brother is always runnin his mouth, talks bad about ya” my heart thumped in my chest, Jackson could say anything about me and I’d have no way to deny it since no one really liked me and he had his whole football team full of guys who only thought with one thing
“What does he say?” I asked nervously
“Says yer a weirdo, says ya run around sleepin with every guy on his football team” my heart felt like it stopped and shrivelled up
“What……..I would never, I can’t believe he would say that, I don’t know why he hates me so much” I said as my bottom lip quivered try to control myself, not wanting to cry infront of him and make him uncomfortable
“Merle an I, we don’t believe ‘em……..plus it ain’t like everyone else in that damn school ain’t like that” he said looking back down at his note book, fidgeting with his pencil
“It would be better if I had friends that would believe me and be on my side” I said huffing a little sarcastic laugh
“I can be yer friend” he said so quietly I almost didn’t hear him
“You don’t have to pity me, I know you don’t like people” he looked back up at me with he glaring expression but for some reason it didn’t bother me
“I ain’t pitying ya, yer one of the few people that don’t annoy me at school, yer nice and keep to yer self” he said bluntly making my heart flutter
“Okay, I’d like to be friends then!” I said smiling as we both went back to work
After 2 hours of going back and forth working and talking we got the project done, I led him to the door standing there as he laced up his shoes, I opened the door as he stood back up
“So uhh, ya wanna hang out again tomorrow?” He asked gripping his backpack strap
“Sure, I have a shift at the diner in the morning but you can come by and we can eat there after I’m done, I get a discount!” I said excited
“Sounds good” he said about to leave before I stopped him
“Wait, here’s my number, it’s for my room phone so you can call anytime if you want” I said handing him a piece of paper with my number
“I’ll call ya later then, see ya” he said in his gruff voice as he left watching him disappear up the side walk
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It was the next day and I was almost done my shift, I’d covered a lot of tables and was now just wiping down the counter waiting to see Daryl walk through the door, the door bell chimed and I looked up excited but instead it was Jackson and some of his football team members, they came in loud and obnoxious as usual
They came to the counter, filling three seats along the counter
“Jackson what are you doing here?” I asked putting down the rag I was using
“Oh come on sis we’re just hungry” he said sarcastically as his friends laughed with him
I sighed taking out my pad “well what do you wanted?”
“I wanna see you bent over my truck” his friend said, I was disgusted but I wasn’t good with this kind of thing
“Cute little thing like you mmmmm, what I wouldn’t do” his other friend said
I was beyond embarrased I just wish someone could help me, and as if my prayers were answered someone came in to intervene
“Leave er alone jackasses” I looked down to a seat further down the counter seeing it was Daryl, he must have just came in
“Oh ya and what’re you gonna do Dixon?”
“Just get outta here” he said sending a glare that could kill, they huffed and got up with a commotion
“Whatever, we’ll see you around bitch” they said to me before they left, I made my way to where Daryl was seated my face felt so hot
“Sorry you had to see that?” I said giving him a glass of water
“Do they do that often?”
“Ya usually when I’m working on the weekend, they think it’s funny”
“I can get Merle, set them straight” he said making me smile
“Nah it’s not your problem but thank you, I’m kinda use to it by now, even though it incredibly embarrassing” I said covering my cheeks
“Anyways, I’m done now so I’ll go clock out and be right back” I said trying to change the subject, I walked to the back taking of my waist apron and got my purse
“You done for the day sweetie?” My older coworker May asked
“Yeah, but me and my friend are going to have some lunch here”
Her eyes lit up “Friend? Did you finally manage to snatch someone up” she said twirling her pen as she smacked on her cherry gum she always had in her mouth
“Yes, he’s just easy to be around”
“HE?”
“Yes May my friend is a boy don’t get all crazy, but he’s waiting so I have to go before he thinks I left” I said blushing as I went back out and sat next to him at the counter
May took our orders and left to attend to the other few customers that were still here
“So why do ya work here?” He asked
“My parents said if I ever wanted anything I needed to get my own money, plus I’m trying to save to be able to afford ballet classes, it may be stupid but it’s my dream”
“It ain’t stupid, yer workin fer what ya want, I get that” his voice was kind but the grumble to it made me tingle
“Thanks, do you work anywhere?” I asked as May gave us our meals, my strawberry milkshake and grilled cheese, and Daryl’s coke with a burger and fries
“Sometimes I work on fixin people’s bikes ‘round town ta make some extra money, Merle said I’d make more if I did what he did but I don’t wanna fall into that crowd” I knew what Merle did, the whole town did
“Maybe one day we can get outta this town where people won’t judge us and we can have actual good jobs”
“Ya maybe”
With that we silently ate our food until we finished and May gave us our checks with my discount then we were leaving heading the door bell chime
We walked down to my house as neither of us had cars, until we stopped infront of the house awkwardly
“Lunch was nice, thanks for coming bye, you can come anytime”
“ ‘course, I’ll……I’ll see ya tomorrow then?”
“Ya I’ll see you tomorrow Daryl” I said smiling as we went separate ways, I closed the door to the house my heart thumping against my chest
I finally had a friend
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Part.2
This will be a series so if you like to be added to the taglist and get notified of the next part comment below!!:)
Taglist: @deansapplepie
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strniohoeee · 6 months
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Y/N is a virgin who so badly wants to have sex with Matt, but she’s scared. However when they’re alone in the triplets house things take a turn….this is for the two requests I got for a virgin reader having soft sex with Matt🥹
Warnings⚠️: This is soft cute sex. Virginity lose, and that’s about it 🫶🏽
Song for the imagine: J’s Lullaby(darlin I’d wait for you) Delaney Bailey
⚠️This is an 18+ story, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️
Matt and I had been dating for roughly 7 months at this point. These past 7 months have been the best months of my life. I was surrounded by 3 people I loved, and making memories that would last forever
About five months into the relationship is when Matt and I finally decided to tell their fan base. Since I was always in their videos, some fans started to notice some vibes between the both of us.
Honestly I was petrified to tell them because a lot of their fans were super protective over them, and I’m a sensitive girl. I didn’t want to get any hate. Surprisingly we received way more love, and the occasional hate from some 14 year old, but nothing to make me feel any type of way.
Constantly Matt and I would watch shipping edits of us, some that even showed how we acted like a couple months before we even started dating. We loved it so much
Other times I would watch edits on my own of us, or just of Matt, and the comments had my jaw on the floor.
“I know he gives y/n the pounding of her life”
“He’s a skinny white boy. You know he be laying that pipeeeee”
“Poor y/n…..I know he be tearing her shit up”
Although these comments made me laugh, they also made me blush from embarrassment because they couldn’t have been further from the truth. I was a virgin, and Matt and I had only really made out and got handsy. Usually I’d break away and stop it, and he respected it and never said anything about it.
I knew he wanted to have sex because he’s a 20 year old man, and I for sure wanted to have sex because?? We’ll have you seen Matt??
But in the back of my mind I was so fucking nervous. I had never ever had sex. I’ve never given a handjob, a blow job, a hickey…..I’ve never even seen Matt’s dick.
Many times I would crave this intimacy, but I always allowed my fear to get to the best of me. However I was more than ready to have sex with the love of my life, Matt.
Matt and I were alone at their house since Chris and Nick had an event that Matt really could care less for. We spent the whole day together, and now we were currently in his room watching a movie
The whole time I kept thinking about having sex with Matt, and what it would be like. If I’d be bad, nervous or just out right not cut out for losing my virginity.
“Matt…” I said waiting for him to look over at me
“Yeah?” He said looking over and smiling at me
“Can I ask you something?” I said
“Of course baby” he responded back as he paused the movie
“Do you want to have sex with me?” I asked him, and to this his eyebrows raised
“In general or right now?” He asked laughing a little bit
“In general” I told him
“I mean it’s not something that’s necessarily crossed my mind. Of course I get urges, and want to have sex, but it’s not something my mind is always on.” He responded
“Well how come?” I asked him
“I mean I just care about you, and making you laugh and smile, and spending time with you. I just love to be in your company” he said back
“Oh….well have you ever thought of having sex with me…like at all??” I asked him
“I mean sure. Whenever we’ve had heated make out sessions it has crossed my mind. You know? It’s like I think to myself could this go further” he told me
“Oh…” I responded
“Have you thought of having sex with me?” He asked
“Mmm quite often actually” I said being completely honest
“Oh?” He said starting to blush
“But I know I always pull away before it goes any further” I told him
“Yeah, but I don’t mind at all” he said smiling at me for reassurance
“I guess I’m just scared” I said
“Scared of what?” He asked me with a head tilt
“Well I’m a virgin” I told him
“Oh” he said actually shocked
“Yeah, and I just never felt like I could move forward. Not because of you! I know I want to lose my virginity to you, but because I’m so afraid of being bad, or too nervous that it doesn’t work out” I said to him
“I get that. Losing your virginity is very intimate, and for sure scary. That’s valid” he said to me
“I was thinking maybe we could have sex” I told him
“Yeah of course” he said nodding his head and smiling
“Tonight” I then responded
“Tonight?” He said surprised
“Yes. I think I’m ready for tonight” I told him
“Okay. Then tonight it is” he said leaning over and kissing me
Matt and I had been making out for a good five minutes
“Are you doing okay?” He asked looking into my eyes
“Yes Matt I’m doing great” I said giving him a smile
Matt had kissed down to my neck. Leaving light kisses that were making me burn up inside. He had removed his shirt, and I removed mine as well
“Can I take your bra off?” He asked me leaning back a little bit
“Of course” I said shyly
Matt reaches behind as I lift up, so that he could unclip my bra. Slowly pulling it off of me, and allowing my breast to fall exposed
I started to blush. Never allowing a man to see me this way causing me to get a little shy
“Don’t get shy on me baby. You look perfect” he said giving me a sly smile
Matt had started to kiss my neck, and slowly went down to my breast. Massaging both breast before taking one into his mouth
“Oh Matt” I said in a whisper as my eyes fluttered shut
He then went down to the valley of my breast, and started to kiss down leaving sloppy kisses on my stomach. I was aching for his touch.
He kissed both hip bones before looking up at me
“Can I take your pants off?” He asked, and I nodded
He started to take my pants off as I lifted up a little for him to get them fully off. Matt in return removed his sweat pants as well
He went back to kissing above my underwear. This feeling alone left my hair rising and my thigh quivering
Matt laid next to me, and started to kiss me soon breaking away
“Okay baby. I have to stretch you out” he said. I turned my head towards him and agreed
Slowly he trailed his hand down to my underwear. Slightly dipping his hand in to massage my pelvic area before completely sticking his hand down my underwear
“Open wider baby” he told me, and I allowed my legs to open up more for him
“Perfect” he said, kissing me, and then he slid his hand all the way down coating his fingers in my arousal before bringing them back up to massage my clit
I just gasped and opened my mouth as Matt and I kept looking at each other
“Feeling okay?” He asked
“I feel so good Matt” I told him licking my now dry lips
Math started to rub my clit in circular motions. Allowing me to squirm and moan at this foreign feeling.
“Okay baby this may hurt” he said before sinking his middle finger to my entrance. He was looking into my eyes as he slowly started to insert his finger into me
This was a burning stretch I’ve never felt before, causing my eyes to shut and my brows to furrow
“Ow Matt” I said finally opening my eyes
“Too much? I can stop” he said reading my face
“No no keep going” I told him, and so he did. He slowly started to rock his fingers in and out curving them up to hit my G spot
“Oh fuck” I moaned out
“That feels so fucking good” I said as he started to rub my clit with his thumb
Slowly he inserted his ring finger. This burn was something that almost made me stop him, but I wanted this way too much for him to stop now.
Once he got the second finger in he started to pump in and out at a come here motion
“Oh Matt….ive never felt something like this” I told him as my mouth fell open
“Does it feel good?” He asked
“So so good” I said whispering the last part
He was slowly fingering me for 5 more minutes before he decided to stop
“Do you think you’re ready?” He asked me
“I think so” I told him, Matt removed his underwear and my mouth fell open
“Matt….I don’t know that that will fit in me” I said almost laughing
“Baby don’t boost my ego. It will fit” he said blushing and biting his lip
“This will hurt, so I’m going to go slow, and if it’s too much I’ll stop” he said
“Okay thank you” I whispered to him
Matt had both arms on either side of my head and was looking into my eyes
“Ready?” He asked one more time
“Yes Matt I’m very ready” I told him
Matt grabbed his dick with his right hand and slowly started to push the tip in. Looking up at you to read your face. He slowly started to push the tip in, and as he started to get in is when you winced
“Fuck Matt that hurts” I said gripping his left arm with my right hand
“Want me to stop?” He asked
“No no keep going” I told him
He slowly started to insert himself into me. Paying close attention to my face. Soon he was all the way in, and he let out a sigh
“So perfect,” he said, moving my hair out of my face. Matt was allowing my vaginal walls to relax around him before moving
“You can move” I told him, and so he did. Slowly sliding back and then in. My pussy was still stretching and burning around his dick
He was letting out little moans that were making me so wet.
Slowly Matt started to pick up his pace. Sliding in and out of me in such a delicious way
“Fuck Matt you can go a little faster” I told him
Matt started to thrust into me a little faster and I was completely losing my mind. If sex felt this good, why was I waiting this long?
“Matt this feels so good” I said moaning
“You feel so fucking good around me” he said moaning the last part
Matt had gotten a little more on his knees, and allowed his arms to bend. Coming down closer to me our chests were touching, and his head was right next to my ear
I could hear his pants into my ear as he was thrusting into me
“Fuck Matt you sound hot” I told him pulling his hair at the back of his head
“Yeah?” He said in a breathy tone
“Yes…so so hot” I said as I continued to pull at his hair
Matt continued to thrust into me becoming a sweaty and groaning mess above me
“I’m going to start rubbing your clit, and you’ll be able to cum in no time” he told me before snaking his right hand down to my clit starting to rub
“OH MY GOD” I screamed out at the intense sensation I was feeling
“Too much?” He asked looking at me
“No no just right keep going. Fuck Matt I think I’m going to cum” I told him as I started to clench on his cock causing him to moan
Matt was fucking into me at a good pace and rubbing my clit, going in between slow and fast circular motions
“Matt Matt Matt” I said scratching his back and clenching down on him harder
“Come on baby! You can do it for me” he said rubbing his fingers faster
“I’m going to cum. Fuck fuck fuck” I said shutting my eyes and throwing my head back even more
“Come on. Come on give it to me” he said into my ear
“FUCKKKKK MATTT” I screamed out as I started to convulse and tremble. My orgasm completely washing over me. I was seeing white and my legs were shaking as I was cumming so hard. Slowly I started to come down my from my high with heavy breathing and dry lips
Matt pulled out of me when I stopped twitching around him. I felt weird without his dick in me. He started to pump his cock
“Fuck I’m gonna cum” he said kissing my lips
He pulled away and his lower abdomen started to contract as his mouth fell and his brows furrowed. He looked into my eyes as he came all over his hand and my lower stomach. Slowly coming down from his high and rolling onto his back next to me
“Matt that was amazing” I said looking over at him
“Was it? You don’t have to lie” he said catching his breath
“No matt. It was amazing, and you were so careful with me I appreciate it” I said rolling over to my side and kissing him on the cheek
“Anything for my pretty lady. I love you” he said looking over at me
“I love you too Matt” I said smiling at him
“Let’s get you cleaned up. Follow me let’s shower” he said and grabbed my hands
When I got off the bed my legs completely gave out on me and I almost fell to the ground
“Oh my god Matt…my legs are fucking jello” I said laughing as he grabbed me and helped me walk to his bathroom
“I’m sorry baby” he said also laughing
“I can now say Matt Sturniolo has made me weak in the knees physically” I responded laughing
“Shut up” he said all shyly as he turned on the hot water and let me step in first
We had showered together, and then spent the night watching movies until we eventually fell asleep in each other's arms.
The End
I hope you guys enjoyed this one! And for the two people that requested this I hope I didn’t disappoint, and I’m so sorry it took forever for me to get this out 🥹❤️❤️
-J💅🏽
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jakeperalta · 7 months
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Dear Otis. You know I hate soppy romantic stuff. So don't get your hopes up. This isn't a love letter. When we first met, I didn't trust anyone. I thought if I kept everybody out, I'd stop myself from being hurt or let down, which is what I was used to. Then we set the clinic up together, and I realised that most of the people who came to us for help really just needed connection. And maybe I wasn't so different. You have the rare ability to make people feel truly seen. And you did the same for me. It was this and your relentless optimism about human beings that gave me the courage to start opening myself up to other people. For the first time in my life, I didn't feel alone, which allowed me to imagine something bigger for myself. I want you to know that however much it fucking hurts that we can't be together, I won't ever close myself off again. Meeting you cracked my heart open, and now it's forever changed. And because of that, I will carry a part of you with me wherever I go. I think what I'm trying to say is thanks for everything, dickhead.
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userotp · 7 months
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Dear Otis. You know I hate soppy romantic stuff. So don't get your hopes up. This isn't a love letter. When we first met, I didn't trust anyone. I thought if I kept everybody out, I'd stop myself from being hurt or let down, which is what I was used to. Then we set the clinic up together, and I realised that most of the people who came to us for help really just needed connection. And maybe I wasn't so different. You have the rare ability to make people feel truly seen. And you did the same for me. It was this and your relentless optimism about human beings that gave me the courage to start opening myself up to other people. For the first time in my life, I didn't feel alone, which allowed me to imagine something bigger for myself. I want you to know that however much it fucking hurts that we can't be together, I won't ever close myself off again. Meeting you cracked my heart open, and now it's forever changed. And because of that, I will carry a part of you with me wherever I go. I think what I'm trying to say is thanks for everything, dickhead.
MAEVE WILEY AND OTIS MILBURN IN SEX EDUCATION
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whxre-bxby · 1 year
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“This Is What You Came For”
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Based on the scene where Tuk, Lo’ak and Tsireya are being held at gunpoint by Quaritch and his squad. Miles tells Jake to hand himself in otherwise he’ll shoot Lo’ak. Imagine you are Jake. 
Recom soldiers (Quaritch/Lyle/Mansk/Prager/Ja/Lopez/Brown/Fike) x recom-Y/N
WARNINGS: SMUT, Angst, Hurt/comfort, non-con (sorry i love it), gangbang, voyeurism
Masterlist
9117 words
I have a big story to tell. My past is long and changed significantly once I arrived on Pandora as a marine soldier. 
I was originally meant to work under the command of Colonel Quaritch but when Jake Sully arrived, I was given the task to help him get used to Pandora. I had my own Avatar already. Before Jake came, I would provide protection for Grace and her team every time we went into the forest to get samples of new botanical species. Lyle would often join us, but he didn’t have an Avatar. 
The day Jake got lost was the same day I left at night to go find him. He was my assignment and I would be screwed if I didn’t find him alive. So while wandering the forest alone, obviously fully armed with guns and knives, I encountered real Na’vi. They were on horseback and brought me to Hometree, to decide whether to execute me. It surprised me because I expected to be dead on the spot but then luckily Jake said he knew me and persuaded Neytiri to persuade her parents not to have me executed. 
I was young at that point in life. But time went by quickly. 
Once problems started to rise I had to make a decision and I chose to turn on my own kind and help Jake save Pandora. 
I fought by his side and we won the battle. But at the time, we didn’t know it would only be the first of many. 
Just like Jake, the clan and Eywa transferred my consciousness from my human body to my Na’vi Avatar.
Now, Jake and I were close friends. I was the aunt to his and Neytiri’s kids and we recently left the forest because the Sky People were back. We travelled to the coastlines and were accepted into a new clan. 
Now, the fight had been going on for a while and Jake was badly injured. Neytiri had retrieved him on her Ikran and flown him to safety because she knew that Quaritch was going after him. Quaritch was hunting Jake Sully, and me, Y/N L/N. 
I rode next to Ronal and Tonowari on my ilu to free Lo’ak, Tuk, and Tsireya. We stopped and I raised my sniper gun, checking to see whether it was safe to shoot one of the other recom’s from here. Suddenly, I heard Quaritch. 
“Y/N, tell your friends to stand down.” he says with a pause. I gasp and I feel my heart sink. He has the kids cuffed and at gunpoint. Half of me wants to go there with the warriors behind me and kill every single soldier, but I know better than to act on emotions. I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t listen…
“You want your kids back?” he asks, knowing the damn answer. “Come out alone.” Quaritch orders. I tense, my ears tipped back. Of course, just like I remembered him. Nothing seemed to change about the Colonel other than his body. I noticed Z-Dog and Lyle on either side of him. I knew they all despised me. But I used to have quite a close relationship with Zdinarsk and Lyle and I were friendly. I guess that gave them more of a reason to hate me. That I chose this planet over everything I had with them. 
“You know better than to test my result.” the Colonel warns, pointing his gun at the back of Lo’ak’s head. My heart is racing. 
I snarl, cursing myself and putting my sniper gun down, knowing it won’t help me now. He kept on talking. 
“I took you under my wing, Y/N. You betrayed me. You killed your own good men, good women. I will not hesitate to execute your kid.” the Colonel snarls. 
I lean my hand in front of me, taking deep breaths to think about my next move. I know I need to listen to him. 
I glanced at Ronal and Tonorwari who were both furious about the recoms taking Tsireya. Then I looked behind me and scanned all the warriors who had joined us. We were enough people to take down the ship, but we couldn’t endanger the kids’ lives. 
My ears droop to the sides and I let my head hang before telling Ronal and Tonowari to stay here and keep the clan away. 
Tonwori warns me that they are killers of Tulkun and that they need to die here and today. I nod, agreeing with him. 
“They came here for me… for me and Jake. That’s what this whole thing is about…” I tell them and Ronal snarls in general anger and frustration. 
“You brought this upon us! You!” she says in a harsh tone and I flinch a little, but I completely understand her anger. 
“Then it’s me who has to do this…” I say and Tonowari gives me a firm nod before signalling to his warriors to stand down. I take a deep breath, looking back at the ship. 
“Offer’s fixin’ to expire…” Quaritch warns me. “What’s it gonna be?” 
My worried gaze turns into a glare. “Check your fire. I’m coming out.” I say, moving my gun back around my shoulder and moving forwards on my ilu.
Neytiri is circling the sky on her Ikran, watching the scene play out. She presses her neck and asks me what’s happening. 
I sigh, feeling my gut wrench and stomach drop. Honestly, I feel a little sick. But I can’t tell her what I’m doing. I don’t have the heart to tell Neytiri. She helped me so much in the past years, I owed it to her to give my life for her children. 
My ilu and I leave the warriors behind us and we dive under the water's surface. 
I see one of the Tulkun nearby and it seems to acknowledge me. It was the outsider. The one that Lo’ak had befriended. I believed his story and he showed me the bond they had. I disconnected my queue from my beloved ilu, patting its neck as a goodbye before swimming towards the Tulkun. 
If they want me to come to them I might as well make my entrance impressive. 
The Tulkun lets me close to it and I hold on to its fin as he pulls me through the water. I look behind me to see the bottom of the clan’s animals and my loyal ilu waiting for me to return. It breaks my heart, leaving it behind, but it was the right thing to do. 
We neared the ship and I moved on to the Tulkun’s back, and hold on to one of the horn-like shapes it has on its head. It swims up to the water's surface and soon, we slowly glide out of the water and in front of the ship. 
Immediately everyone onboard shuffles around and all weapons are pointed at me. I stay, kneeling on its back as it brings me to the side so I can comfortably step on board. I glide my hand over its skin and thank the Tulkun before standing upright and for the first time, I set foot onto the ship. 
I locked eyes with the Colonel, examining him and his team. Their guns remained pointed at me and followed my steps. I stopped, standing in front of them with nothing in my hands. The water was dripping from my body and hair, creating small puddles beneath my feet. 
I shifted my gaze to the kids. They all looked worried but Tsireya and Tuk seemed a little relieved that an adult on their side was with them. On the other hand, Lo’ak looked upset. I saw him shaking his head at me before, he must not want me to give up my life. But I owe it to all of them. I owe it to Jake for helping me escape, I owe it to Neytiri for taking care of me, to the kids who have always been so lovely over the years and to Eywa. I saved Ewya once, but I also brought this upon her. I needed to make it right. 
Quaritch firmly nodded, pressing his lips into a straight line and turning to face me while still pointing his gun at Lo’ak. That angered me. 
“Slowly remove your weapon.” he ordered me and my ears tipped back, showing him clear signs of discomfort. I was about to rid my protection. 
I listened, slowly pulling the strap over my head and arm, holding my gun in my hand before gently throwing it to the side. 
A recom soldier kicked it out of my reach and I glared at him before looking back at Miles. 
“Let them go.” I snarled and he glared back. With some hesitation, he lowered his weapon and signalled something to his soldiers. To my relief, they started opening the handcuffs of the children but still held them by the arms. 
I stood firmly on the ground, my tail flicking around in irritation. I felt protective over them. They needed to return to Neytiri safe and unharmed. 
“Let ‘em go.” The Colonel ordered, harshly pushing Lo’ak away from himself and towards me. Lo’ak glanced around and grabbed Tsireya’s hand before warily walking to me. Tuk couldn’t wait anymore. She was terrified of the soldiers so she sprinted to me and hugged my lower waist, hiding her face in my hip. I leaned down, cradling her body and holding her close to me. My hand stroked her head to try and comfort her in any way possible. 
“Shh Tuk. It’s all okay now. You can go home.” I say in a soft voice, forgetting about all the danger around us for a second. Lo’ak comes around my other side and hugs me too. I hold them all for a few seconds as if we were one family and when Tuk lifts her head, I wipe her tears. 
“Don’t cry Tuk. You are safe now.” I force a smile and press her forehead to mine. That was something that always helped calm her down when she was a baby. It seemed to still work. 
In the next few seconds, I heard the cry of an Ikran and the flap of its wings behind me. I looked up and all soldiers had changed their aim from me to something behind me. 
I just smiled in relief, knowing who it was. 
I turned around and Neytiri had gotten off her Ikran and stood behind me, but luckily she wasn’t pointing weapons at the enemy. 
“Don’t shoot.” I shout, wanting them to know she was here for her children. 
Tuk gasped and ran to her mother and Lo’ak quickly joined her. Tsireya followed Lo’ak. 
I want to walk to Neytiri too but I hear a shout behind me. 
“You take one more step Y/L/N and I open fire.” The Colonel warns. “You’re stayin’ here.” 
I freeze in my step and look over my shoulder to let him know I heard him before turning back to Neytiri. She had put Tuk on her Ikran already and Lo’ak and Tsireya got onto the Tulkun that brought me here. 
Neytiri and I exchanged eye contact and as much as she hated that I was part of the reason this was happening, her gaze softened. She knew what I was doing and it saddened her. She also took to heart that I put her children's lives over my own and gave me a sad smile. 
“I thank you Y/N…” she said in Na’vi. 
I nod, smiling and bowing my head a little. 
“You proved yourself to the Great Mother. It will not be forgotten.”
Her words make me feel proud and I thank her. She walks over to me, in slow strides, her eyes not leaving mine. Now I could see how saddened she was.
Her eyes are just as teared up as mine are.
She pressed her own forehead against mine and thanked me again, for helping her children. Then, she returned to her Ikran, looking at me one last time before taking off. Lo’ak and Tsierya were ordered by her to go, and I waved at Lo’ak slowly. He returned the gesture, also visibly sad and they dived under the water. 
I stared at the open ocean for a few moments before taking a deep breath and turning back to face the Colonel. 
I couldn’t read his expression but it had changed. Maybe seeing me with children had some kind of impact on him. After all, I knew he more or less thought of himself as Spider’s dad. 
Then he signalled something and most weapons were put down. I heard a few chuckles from the soldiers around me who had now encircled me and blocked my exit. They were recoms. The humans didn’t dare get so close. I hiss at one that’s too close for my liking but he just smirks, not moving back. 
“This is going to be fun.” the Colonel says, evilly smirking at me before turning around and leading the way. Almost instantly, a gun is pointed at my head and I am pushed forward, being told to follow him. 
I let out a shaky breath but oblige. At least I wasn’t being held down. 
We entered a large hall which looked like an empty car storage area inside the ship. There was a light in the middle of the ceiling that didn’t reach the dark corners. I sigh. This was probably the last room I was going to see in my life. 
I knew whatever they had planned wasn’t going to go well for me. Then again, I was surprised I was still alive now. Maybe they wanted me for questioning first. 
I heard a few footsteps behind me stop walking and then I heard a voice sternly say, “No humans allowed.”.
There was complaining coming from the humans on board and then the large doors started automatically closing. 
All daylight was now gone and everything seemed dimmer. I was urged to walk to the centre of the room so that I more or less stood beneath the light. 
The soldiers stopped around me, creating a type of wide circle to make sure I couldn’t escape. I assumed the doors were all locked anyway, so I wouldn’t test my luck. 
“Zdinarsk, Warren, go to the deck and help Walker and Zhang.” the Colonel said and they nodded before walking off. I watched Zdinarsk and our eyes met but she left anyway without saying a word. I wasn’t surprised. 
I slowly turn around, scanning everyone. Just to see what I was dealing with. Most of them looked the same, everyone wearing similar attire but something small would always differentiate them. 
Surrounding Y/N stood Prager, Mansk, Fike, Ja(Alexander), Brown, Lopez, Wainfleet, and the Colonel. Their weapons were no longer pointed at her but they still held them firmly, in case she were to try something.
“I’m going to ask you a few questions and you will answer them.” the Colonel says, stepping forward a little and resting his hands on his vest. I turn to face him and glare again. 
What makes him think I’m going to willingly snitch on my family?
“If you refuse, then you won’t look as pretty by the time we’re done.” Quaritch adds, and a bald soldier and a soldier wearing his cap backwards flash metal rods and another soldier cracks his knuckles behind me. I’ve seen them use those on other clans. They shock and electrocute them. 
I recognize Lyle and Brown. 
I frown at his words. He would always somehow manage to catch me off guard. 
When I look back at him, he takes it as an answer to my understanding of the terms and conditions. 
“How does it feel to betray your own kind, Y/N? Your own people.” he snarls and I scoff. As long as I answer I should be fine. What I say is up to me.
“Great.” I reply, staring him dead in the eye. He raises an eyebrow before nodding at Lyle. He steps forward and I feel a cold metal come in contact with my thigh before my whole body is tensed and I flinch at the shock waves running through me. 
I yelp and quickly step away from him, my hand covering where he electrocuted me. I stared at him in shock. He didn’t even hesitate. After years of us knowing each other and that man mindlessly hurt me. 
“Ah! Fuck- ‘in hell…You idiot- I answered the question!” I swear, not understanding why he did that. 
My reaction amused the soldiers. 
“Doesn’t seem to be going that well for you.” Quaritch teases and I look back at him, my eyes furious. God, I hated him. A few men chuckle and I twirl my tail around my leg. Being in the spotlight like this made me uncomfortable. 
“Who’s here with you that we know?” the Colonel asks and my ears flick away a drop of water that fell from my hair. 
I hesitate, not wanting to expose them. But then again, it wasn’t such a secret since they were watching the others leave Pandora after we had won. I hear the shock rod go off close to me as a warning and I jumped before opening my mouth to say something. 
“Most of the science team…” I say, a bit quieter now. He doesn’t say anything and just keeps looking at me. I take it as a hint to elaborate. 
“Dr. Norm Spellman, Max Patel, John, Lily, …” 
“What about Augustine?” Quaritch asks and my frown turns into a blank expression. I stare at him in slight disbelief, trying to find out whether he was serious or not. 
My silence seems to make him uncomfortable. So he signals his soldier to shock me but I answer before he can. 
“You killed Grace…” I snarl at him, the memory paining me. He doesn’t seem upset but he definitely wasn’t expecting to hear that. 
“You shot her… in her stomach.” 
He looked away, not saying anything. 
“But the Great Mother accepted her. Her soul is with Eywa now.” I softly say. He looks back. I can tell not a single person in this room still fully understood the power of Eywa. 
“Grace helped Pandora, unlike you. Eywa will have no mercy on you.”
After what was probably a minute of silence, he continued questioning me. 
“Where’s Sully?” he asks. I decide to irritate him just a little more. 
“Which one?” I reply, smirking. I knew I wouldn’t get shocked because I answered and played it off as an innocent question. 
His ears tipped back and he caught on to my attitude. 
“Answer.” Quaritch demanded. 
“I don’t know.” I say and suddenly I feel the same pain and shock shoot through my body. But this time, it comes from my hip. 
I whine, bending forward and resting one arm on my knee while I regain my breath. I throw Brown a dirty look before returning my gaze to Quaritch. 
“He’s injured. I don’t know where they took him. He could be anywhere.” 
“I feel like you would know where.” the Colonel replies, taking an intimidating step forward. I stand my ground. 
“No.” I simply say and suddenly I feel both rods on my ribs and shock waves hit me again. My knees give out and I’m kneeling on the floor, one arm hugging my waist while the other holds me up.
Quaritch stares me down before sighing and shaking his head. 
“You know Y/N, I used to think of you as my best soldier.” he says and my ears perk up. 
“You were everything you needed to be. I was hoping you’d become Colonel one day too.”  
He was playing mind games with me. I wasn’t going to fall for it. I got off my knees and stood in front of him again. 
“I don’t know why you decided to run off with Sully. But I can see it changed you.” he locks eyes with me again and he looks angry. 
“I didn’t think it would be possible, but turns out you really did become Na’vi, huh?” he continues, almost mocking me. 
“You live with them, talk like them…Hell, look at you. Ya even dress like ‘em.” he growls and I look down at my body. I wore typical female Na’vi clothing. A top which I used to think barely covered my chest and a loincloth. 
I heard some shuffling around me and then Quaritch smirked. 
“Definitely not complainin’.”
The soldiers around me chuckle darkly. I used to be one of them and now they think they can treat me like a minority.
That’s it. He crossed the line. I know exactly what that meant and it was completely unnecessary. 
“Asshole.” I snarl and his eyes widen at my comment. 
“I see you kept your spirit at least.” he grins. “Guess it won’t be as easy to break ya.” 
I huff and he watches me for a while before asking away again. 
“Who do you have the kids with? Sully?” he asks and I look at him confused. Did he not know they were Jake’s and Neytiri’s?
“What kids?” I ask and Lyle takes a step forward but I move out of his way when he tries to touch me with the metal stick again. 
“They aren’t mine.” 
“I’m meant to believe that?” he asks me and scoffs. I’m getting really frustrated here. 
“They’re Neytiri’s… and Jake’s.” I say, knowing they are safe so it won’t matter if I tell them. 
“You don’t have kids? Ya didn’t settle down like Sully?” he asks and I glare at him again. But I know I have to answer so I shake my head ‘no’. 
“Why’d ya give yourself up for them then?” he asks, genuinely. 
“Because they don’t deserve to die. They saw me as one of them.” I coldly replied, still angry about how they were treated. “I on the other hand came here with the intention to kill for our kind. People like that don’t deserve a good life.” 
A few moments of silence.
Quaritch claps his hands together and smirks. “Well then, that’ll just make this even better.” 
I stare at him trying to figure out what he means but I snap out of it when I see Lyle move out of the corner of my eye and I move away again. He huffs out in annoyance. 
“Cut it out, I swear to god.” I say, having enough of this bullshit. But Lyle and Brown both attempt to shock me again this time. I turn around, facing them now and hiss. It just seems to annoy Lyle even more and the next time he tries to hit me with the rod I lose it. 
“That’s it, you fuckin-” I start swearing, grabbing the rod where he’s holding it and kneeing him in the stomach. He lets go, groaning and bending forwards. I immediately upper-punch him in the face and he stumbles back. Behind me, Brown attempts to restrain my arms but I elbow him in the chest, knocking the air out of him and he lets go, taking a few steps back. 
I want to turn around to face Quaritch but now Prager and Ja have dropped their weapons and run forward to try to contain me. 
They seemed to forget that I used to be a marine too. 
Prager wraps his arms around my waist, holding my arms down. I kick myself off the ground in a launch-mode position and then kick Ja in the face, sending him to the ground. When I land on my feet, I lean down, keeping the motion and Prager is more or less thrown over me. 
He lets go and then I see Lyle standing and coming for me again. I just throw myself on him and tackle him to the ground. Lyle manages to hit me in the face but it doesn’t phase me. He rolls us over and tries pinning my arms down but I knee him between the legs and he gives out much easier than expected. 
I roll him around and am now straddling his waist, delivering punch after punch to his face. 
Before I know it, someone grabs both my arms and my braid, pulling me off of Lyle and hurling me to my feet. I struggle and try to set myself free from their grip but I can’t. I’m held tightly in place and pulled against this soldier's body, with my back pressing against his chest. The tight grip on my braid pains me. 
I look up and notice it's Mansk. He removed his glasses and looked pissed off. That was unlike him. Rarely things got to him, he would usually have a neutral stern face with occasional smiles. 
This was new. But maybe, I was the problem. Not like I cared if I annoyed him. Nothing could compare to the hell these meathead idiots put me through. 
Lyle and Brown are helped up and all eyes are back on me. My chest is heaving slightly more than before and I feel the blood running down from my nose. 
Quaritch doesn’t even seem angry. He actually looks impressed. The soldiers that didn’t join like Fike and Lopez are waiting for orders and seem to be expecting a horrible reaction from the Colonel. The soldiers that I did hit on the other hand… those fuckers are out for blood. I mean every single one of them looks at me like they want to kill me. Lyle included. The once goofy dumbass I would work with has his eyes filled with fury. 
I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if this is how I go down. This could very well be how I die. 
“What? Did you forget I used to be like you?” I snicker, not being able to hold back a small grin. I took down most of them. I was impressed with myself. Damn. Jake would be impressed too. 
Quaritch smirked. I amused him. “Don’t think you’re gettin’ the princess treatment now.” he said. I wasn’t expecting it. Usually, fighting others in combat would earn someone more respect. That didn’t work in this case. 
“Anyway…” Quaritch started again, starting to slowly walk around Mansk and me while the other soldiers watched him. As if they were waiting for permission to kill me and finish me off. “Since you’re ours now and we can do with you as we please…”
My eyes shoot to him and my ears perk up. His words confuse me but they have caught my attention. 
“And you’re Na’vi now so you understand your body… you can help us out.” Quaritch states, stopping and facing me again. His hands are still holding onto the top of his vest. 
My ears tip back when I hear him ask for my help. The last thing I would do is willingly help them. He scoffs at my reaction and Mansk rearranges his grip on my body, making sure to keep it tight. 
“We noticed we get, frustrated, more easily…” Quaritch spoke, pretending as if it were nothing. “And you just happened to trigger that reaction again.” 
I huff, glaring at him again. My body tenses and I try to push myself away from Mansk who just tugs me back into him. 
“How do we contain or… solve that problem, Y/N?” Quaritch asks, taking a step towards me. His tall and built form is almost towering over my slightly smaller frame. I was never small but I never reached their height either. 
My eyes widen and I gulp. Surely he doesn’t mean what I think he does. If they are going through their heat, or rut actually, then only finding a mate and forming tsaheylu can solve that as far as I know. And if that is the case here, I need to leave right now. The last thing I need is to be spiritually connected to these monsters through Eywa. She would probably banish me along with them.
He takes note of my reaction. “I can tell that you know the answer. Why don’t you open your pretty lil’ mouth and share it with us?” Quaritch mocks me and I notice how it spikes everyone's interest. It makes me feel more nervous than angry, to be honest. Nervous and even a little frightened because I don’t know what is to come. 
I myself was nearing my heat cycle, so my pheromones could be stronger but I shouldn’t be due for the next week or two at least. I wasn’t feeling the symptoms either so I should be fine. 
“No? You want to keep it to yourself? Alright then. Don’t say I didn’t give you a chance, sweetheart.” He says, turning away and walking to a chair. He picks it up, bringing it to the circle and sitting on it the wrong way. 
“There’s one rule, squad. You listen to everything I say. If you don’t, you’re out and I’ll deal with you personally.” Quaritch threatened, scanning over his unit. A few soldiers nod while others just look between him and me. 
I notice Mansk has tightened his grip on me and is almost hugging me from behind. If you could call his tight, bruising grip a hug. 
“Understood?” Quaritch asks, wanting to make himself clear. Everyone responds with ‘yes sir.’ and the Colonel nods. 
“Alright then. Deal with her.” he snarls and I hear a few dark chuckles and growls around the room. They seemed to know what to do while I was confused.
Mansk grins behind me and harshly pushes me forwards, almost making me stumble. I yelp and stop before I can get closer to the other soldiers but some of them are already making their way to me, their grins and smirks making me feel small. Almost instantly, multiple hands are on me and suddenly, my knee is kicked in. I whine as my legs give out and I fall to my knees while being pushed down. I feel two hands wrap around my queue and some push down my back, so I’m struggling to keep myself up on all fours. My hands are pulled from beneath me and arranged in front of me and I feel someone lift my waist. 
I protest, curses and swear words spilling from my lips but they don’t faze anyone. I also continue to fight against their grip, hoping to make this as difficult for them as possible. 
Quickly looking around me I notice some soldiers stood standing and watching. Around me, I recognize Mansk, Lyle, Lopez, and Fike.
“Come back here, hot stuff.”  Mansk was behind me, pulling me back by my waist and hips when I tried to crawl away. Lyle was on my side and I assumed his hands were around my queue. Lopez and Fike were holding me down by pushing my back and grabbing my arms. Mansk had wrapped his arm around my tail, holding me in place. 
“Stop fuckin’ movin’.” I heard Mansk growl and my eyes widened in shock when I felt my stomach erupt in excitement and realised my body was positively reacting to their handling. 
Within the next few seconds, someone delivered a harsh slap to my ass and I cried out, arching my back in pain before dropping my head and trying to hide my embarrassed face. 
Lyle chuckled at my reaction, moving to sit in front of me now. He picked up my face into his hand, forcing me to look up at him. I closed my eyes, refusing to meet his gaze. 
“Look at you turning all red, buttercup.” he cooed, and it felt like he was making fun of me. “This ain’t how I remember you.” 
I open my eyes and glare up at him while he just grins. 
Fike’s hands are on the waistband of my loincloth and he looks back to the Colonel for permission. 
“Take it off.” Quaritch orders and the soldier's snicker in response. My eyes shoot wide open when I hear the words and I struggle again. 
“Don’t you fucking dare, I will-” I start threatening but within seconds I feel someone quite literally rip the cloth from my waist. I scream in shock and in pain because the fingers that removed it scratched my skin. I pull my head away from Lyle’s grip. 
His focus seems to have been distracted from my face and shifted to my bare waist. He could only watch his colleague's reactions to imagine what you looked like. Based on their groans and curses, he couldn’t wait to have his turn. 
“Fuckin’ hell.” Mansk groaned, resting his hand on my bare hip and Lopez laughed. 
“Christmas came early.” Fike jokes and I hide my face in my arm again. 
Some soldiers standing around came behind Mansk to see and I tried blocking their laughs and jokes out. 
“Show me.” Lyle ordered, becoming visibly impatient. His hand still held my braid while the other pulled me around by my waist. He leaned over to see what I looked like and when he cursed too I wanted to cry. The embarrassment was overwhelming. I’d never had this much unwanted attention and I didn’t know how to deal with it. 
“You better hurry the fuck up. I’m next.” Lyle grinned, looking at Mansk who pulled my hips back to him. I closed my legs and managed to cover myself with my now free tail but it earned me another harsh slap to my other ass cheek. 
“Don’t hide baby. It won’t help you.” I heard Quaritch say and my cheeks heated up even more. I forgot he was still there and he was probably watching the whole thing. The superior I used to look up to was watching and commanding his men to use me. 
My tail was snatched away by Mansk again and Lopez untied the knot I made on my back, holding my chest piece in place. It fell open and I clenched my jaw together, tensing all my muscles. It was pulled over my head and I watched as someone threw it to the side. I was completely naked now. In front of 8 men. 
Hands were feeling up and down my body, squeezing and caressing my bare, burning skin. 
Lyle was back in front of me now, hand holding my face. I didn’t even fight his grip anymore, I just let him hold my head up. 
My teary eyes and flushed face seemed to turn him on even more. 
“You look so pretty, baby. Don’t worry, you’re gonna get what you want.” He cooed and I managed to gather the strength and snarl at him. He knew damn well this is not what I asked for. 
I heard someone unbuckle their belt and shuffle behind me. Before long, my hips were pulled flush against someone else’s bare abdomen. I gasped, looking behind me and whining. I hated how the excitement in my stomach turned into the wetness that was gathering by my core. It wasn’t fair. I needed to stay strong. I wanted to prove to them that I was still strong and could resist as long as I wanted to. But the truth was, my opposing and rebellious thoughts were fading and being replaced with feelings I was denying for way too long. 
Mansk grinded himself against me, feeling my slick on himself. 
“Shit- looks like you’re enjoying this.” he snarled and I shook my head no, my ears strained back. But I was lying to myself at this point.
“Not yet.” Quaritch said and Mansk stopped. “Prep her first.” 
Mansk pulled away and suddenly, someone pushed two fingers into me and I bit down on my lip. 
Lyle was watching my reactions, falling silent and looking almost mesmerised. His ears were pointed forwards, trying to pick up all and any noises I made. Even just your heavy breathing had him feeling fired up.
The fingers inside me started moving and I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip, fighting the urge to just submit and let them use me. I whine again through clenched teeth and hear how Lyle sighs. 
Luckily it stops before I can fall apart and the fingers which belong to Lopez are removed. 
“Fuck, look at how wet she is.” he says, spreading the slick over my hot skin. 
That’s when I know that I can’t hide it anymore. Hot tears start spilling down my face in embarrassment and I become aware of the fact that I am screwed. My pride is gone. 
“Aw, don’t cry, buttercup. We’ll make you feel good.” Lyle teases me, running a thumb over my cheek and wiping away a few tears. 
“No.” I whimper, trying in one last attempt to keep up my rebellious act but then I feel Mansk line himself up with me and then it’s all over. 
One of his hands is on my tail while the other then tightly grips my waist and with one strong thrust, he’s inside me. I gasp at the stretch and the foreign feeling of intrusion. He mutters a curse under his breath, stilling for a moment. 
“Shit- so tight. I’m only half in.” he says, his tone a little quieter now and a few soldiers laugh. My wide eyes meet Lyle’s when he says only half and Lyle laughs too. 
“Don’t worry, baby. You can take it.” he says, and surprisingly his now softer voice comforts me. He rubs his thumb over my cheek again while Mansk pulls out and with his next thrusts, he pushes even deeper into me. A whimper and a sob leave my lips, but the noises seem to spur him on. He’s getting a reaction from me and that’s what he needs. 
Soon, he’s thrusting in and out of me and it starts feeling good. His heavy breathing and grunting have my stomach erupting in sick butterflies and then he hits a spot inside me that shoots pleasure through me. My tensed figure suddenly relaxes and I involuntarily arch my back and moan. 
The soldier’s heads shoot to me and Lyle looks surprised but the filthy noise makes his grin return. 
“Look at you, taking it like a good slut.” he says and lightly slaps my cheek. It doesn’t even hurt, it just stings a little and manages to keep my head in reality. 
Mansk speeds up his pace, pulling me back against him every time he thrusts forward. I feel another pair of hands move up and down my arched back while the others grope my breasts and play with my nipples. 
Lyle grips my jaw again and takes advantage of my parted lips. He pushes his thumb past them and into my hot mouth. My jaw drops open a bit more and our eyes meet. My half-lidded eyes find his intrigued gaze and I watch his eyes widen as I swirl my tongue around his finger. 
“Shit.” he whispers, unable to stop watching me suck his thumb. Mansk speeds up even more and I moan around Lyle’s finger. 
Hastily, he removes it from my mouth and his hands fly to his belt. I watch as he opens everything, pulling his cammies down his waist swiftly. His toned abdomen, his v-line, toned thighs and huge dick make me moan again. 
Lyle can’t wait any longer and pulls my head to his length, wrapping his fingers around my braid again. 
Without any fucking hesitation, I stick my tongue out and sloppily lick a long stripe from his base to his tip. I keep my eyes trained on his face and watch how his lips are white from how hard he’s biting down on them. 
Next, I open my mouth and wrap my lips around his head. He moans and I notice his body shudder. 
Mansk is relentlessly fucking into me and I feel myself get close too. He keeps hitting the same spot inside me and I moan around Lyle. 
In the next few seconds, my legs shake and I clench around Mansk who curses again and rides out my orgasm. My eyes roll to the back of my head and then his hips still with his cock deep inside me. Mansk releases his load, leaning forward and hugging my waist to keep me close to him. My quivering legs slowly slide out from beneath me but Mansk gets up and pulls me back up by my waist. He pulls out with a sigh and Lyle removes himself from my lips. 
“My fucking turn.” Lyle announces, getting up and taking Mansk’s position. Mansk moves to the side, regaining his breath before getting dressed. 
Fike had been jerking off to my sounds and watched how I was being fucked. He finished just before I did and was now getting dressed with Mansk. They both got up, grinning at each other before taking their previous spots and holding their weapons. 
Lyle doesn’t need to wait, he just immediately pushes himself deep into me and starts to fuck me. I moan, trying to crawl away because I’m still so sensitive but he just tugs me back and tightens his grip. Lopez is now in front of me and his pants open too. My vision is a little blurry now, but maybe it’s just my clouded mind. I can’t properly comprehend what’s happening but I sure can’t fight it. I just let it happen now. 
Lyle grabs my thighs, spreading them further apart so that my legs are resting around his. One of his hands is wrapped around my tail while the other is groping my ass. 
I want to moan but then my mouth is filled with Lopez’s dick. I open my mouth as he makes me almost choke and let my tongue trace his veins. Lopez groans, his ears tipped back and fangs bared. Their primal side turns me on. 
"Watch it with those." Lopez growls out, his thumb tracing over my fangs. I don't even get the chance to nod before I'm urged to take more.
I wrap my lips around him, taking him as far into my mouth as possible before hollowing my cheeks. He snarls, responding to the pleasure and slowly moves in and out of me. 
Compared to him, Lyle is fucking the life out of me. The area where the skin of his thighs and abdomen slaps mine has turned red and no longer stings, it's becoming numb.
I moan around Lopez again and because I’m already so fucked out, time passes quicker. Lyle finishes by plunging himself as deep as Mansk into me and cumming. He makes me come a second time because he paid attention to how my body responded to him and applied pressure on my clit to get me over the edge. Seeing my eyes roll back again sent Lopez into euphoria and after they both pulled away and my quivering self was laying on the floor regaining my breath, their positions were taken. 
Strong hands pull me from the ground and back onto all fours. My knees and palms became red and sore. I open my eyes and see Prager, Ja, and Brown kneeling around me.
Brown lines himself up behind me while Ja cups my face, smiling. Prager is keeping me stable and holding me in place so I don’t fall over. 
“I can’t- anymore.” I sob, feeling like a mess. My skin has beads of sweat covering it, my face is flushed and my hips are bruised. The blood from my nose ran down my lips and I can taste the blood. 
Tears are wiped away by Ja and he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. Prager and Brown look over at Quaritch. 
“She can take it.” Quaritch assures. His voice reminds me of how angry I felt before. Like he would know whether I can or can’t. 
I feel Brown push into me and moan. My slick mixed with Lyle’s and Mansk’s cum is dripping down my legs now. I protest with a whimper, spreading my arms and legs so that I really don’t collapse. 
“Someone’s been fucked dumb.” Ja coo’s but it no longer makes me feel embarrassed. It makes me enjoy it that much more. 
Brown tugs my hips towards him, his tail caressing my thigh as he ruts into me with no mercy. Prager and Ja switch places and Prager is opening his belt in front of me again. I started feeling like I was about to lose consciousness from everything happening around me.
Once Prager rid himself of his pants, I instinctively opened my mouth and he chuckled. His former colleague who beat him in combat was now waiting for him to push his cock into her mouth. 
“Didn’t think I’d ever get to see you like this, Y/N.” he teases but his words just went in one ear and out the other. The other men laughed. 
“Hurry up before she passes out on you.” A voice from one of the soldiers standing called and more snickers followed. 
“Take it easy on her. I’m surprised she’s still standin’.” Quaritch says and I can tell by the way he says it that he’s grinning. 
Prager nods and Brown slows down a little. Then Prager places his tip on my lips, gripping the back of my head and pushing about halfway in. I’m more used to the intrusion so I can take more of him. He bites his lip, pulling out before back slowly advancing a little further in. He’s almost bottomed out and I choke a little, squeezing my eyes shut. Another tear runs down my cheek and Prager moans, his head falling back. 
I hear a few voices around me exchanging words and in synch with Brown’s thrusts, Prager pushes all the way down my throat so that my nose is pressed against his abdomen. My eyes are wide because I can’t believe I’m able to take him so far down my throat. Especially because he and all the other soldiers are so big. 
I hold back a choke and cough a little, swallowing around him which drives Prager feral. He and Brown both still their hips and the soldiers standing around cheer at him and whistle. 
“Shit, she can take it all. Makes me want to have another turn.” Someone says but I’m too distracted to figure out who it is. 
“Not today, otherwise, we’ll lose her.” Quaritch chuckles. 
Prager and Brown both pull out while Ja holds me up now. Brown finishes quickly and then Prager follows. I swallow Prager’s load out of reflex because he is so far down my throat. 
When Prager pulls out I gasp for air and cough, which has a few soldiers snickering darkly. He high-fives Brown as he gets up, but Prager stays kneeling by me to hold me up for Ja. 
“You okay, baby?” Ja asks but I can’t respond. I feel so weak and tired. He lets go of my waist and I slowly sink to the ground. My limbs are almost useless at this point. 
Prager is grinning while Ja takes a bit of pity on me. He carefully turns me around so that I’m laying on my back before climbing on top of me, his arms caging me in. I feel a little less exposed like this at least. He smirks when my eyes meet his. 
“I’ll try to be gentle.” he whispers, taking into consideration how sore I am and how watery my eyes are. 
“Oh god.” someone laughs. “Lover-boy’s fallin’ in love again.” 
Ja’s ears tip back and he glares at the soldier that commented that. 
“Hey. Cut it out and let the man handle things. Someone has to be last.” Lyle stepped in. 
My ears have drooped, and I just watch him. I’m too tired to even turn my head. 
Ja looks at me before undoing his pants. When he slips them down, he checks on me again to make sure I’m still awake. He seems very caring. Unlike the others. It makes me feel safer. It also makes me regret kicking him in the face before. 
Ja takes one of my legs, wrapping it around his waist and then he takes both my hands and pins them above my head with one of his. I don’t even lift a finger in protest. 
Then, he moves his hips forward and slowly enters me. He manages to push all the way in because I’m stretched out from all the others but it doesn’t feel any less good. 
They’ve all been deprived of sexual relief for a long time and now they could finally let it all out. 
He’s about to pull out again when someone comments on something. Ja was about to punch his colleague and take you away so he could have you to himself but the comment stopped his violent thoughts. 
“Damn, look.” Lopez nudges Brown and Mansk, but their eyes are already fixed on your abdomen. Lyle chuckles and even Quaritch now stands up to look. 
Ja is confused and looks down only to be met with one of the most beautiful sights he’s ever seen. He examines the belly bulge, letting go of your thigh and pressing down lightly on your abdomen. 
I whine, closing my eyes and it makes Ja want to claim me as his right then and there. 
“Fuck, you don’t know how good you look right now, babygirl.” Mansk says, feeling needy all over again. 
I whimper, letting my head fall to the side so that I’m not looking at them. 
“Poor girl’s embarrassed. Leave her alone.” Prager jokes and they chuckle knowing you’ve been embarrassed from the second your knees hit the ground. 
“You’re okay, baby. Let me take care of you.” Ja whispered, leaning down to my ear. I look up at him and nod a little in response which makes him smile. 
Slowly and steadily, he pulls out of me. Ja starts gently thrusting into me, his one hand returning to keep my thigh around his lower waist. He rubs his hand along the skin, keeping it in place while he makes sure I feel good too. Every reaction I give him he takes into account and once I arch my back off the ground and into him, he grins, seeing it as a positive response. He speeds up just a little, but not enough to have our skin slapping. 
I whimper and occasionally moan, my eyes fluttering closed. 
He drops his head and licks the skin around my nipples before biting and kissing my neck. 
The kisses surprise me but they piss Quaritch off. 
“Not her mouth. Don’t you dare.” Quaritch orders, sternly. Ja looks up, not seeming happy with the order but still listening. He doesn’t nod, he just returns to kissing my neck which makes the butterflies in my tummy come to life again. 
My mouth drops open as I feel another orgasm start to build up. 
Ja’s thrusts become a little sloppy and he grinds down against my clit every time he bottoms out. 
“You can let go, baby.” he whispers in my ear and I nod again. With the next few thrusts, I’m in heaven. My pussy clenches around him which pushes him over the edge but he rides out both our orgasms. 
His head is dropped in the crook of my neck while we both regain our breath. I can’t even open my eyes, I just go limp. Ja gives my cheek a small kiss before carefully letting go of me and pulling out. Quaritch glares at him before Ja starts getting dressed. 
I just lay on the floor, my legs resting on top of each other with one arm slightly covering my chest. 
Quaritch walks over to me and squats down. He turns my head to look up at him and I notice the shit-eating grin on his face. He watches how my ears tip back and my little rebellion against him amuses the Colonel. 
“You and I aren’t done yet.” he whispers before standing up. 
“Prager, get the towel. Lyle, help the poor lady up.” he orders and Lyle walks over to me, sinking to his knees and pulling me up into a sitting position. Prager comes over and wipes away the mixture of body fluids than ran down my inner thighs. I flinch when he touches my pussy but Lyle comforts me by holding my cheek and rubbing my belly. 
“You did well, buttercup.” he says and I would have scoffed at the pet name which I was now able to comprehend again, but I was mentally absent. 
The towel is wrapped around me and Lyle pulls me to my feet. He’s about to pick me up but to his surprise, I push him away. 
“I can fucking walk by myself, I don’t need your help.” I say. My previous attitude returning amuses the squad. 
Lyle grins. “Go ahead.”
He removes his arms from under my arms and I take a step forward. Almost immediately my quivering legs give out but before I can sink to the ground, Lyle catches me again. 
“Fuck.” I swear and he chuckles. 
“Pick her up.” Quaritch orders and Lyle scoops me into his arms. I cover my face with the towel and don’t protest. 
“What were you saying, baby?” Lyle teased and Mansk chuckled. 
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I mumble. Lyle grins and starts walking behind the Colonel. The squad pick up their things and make their way to the exit. 
“I want to go back.” I say, only loud enough for Lyle and Miles to hear.
I wanted to go back to my family, but I knew that there was no chance of that happening. 
Quaritch scoffed, stopping in front of the exit doors and tucking in my towel so that nothing was exposed. 
“Not happening. This is what you came for Y/N.” he teased, making sure I was covered before pressing the button and the large automatic doors opened. The daylight hit me and I shielded myself with the towel.
Mansk and Ja walked beside Lyle to keep the people and other soldiers who weren’t recoms away. They felt protective over you. You were their Y/N after all. 
No one needed to know about their business. All they saw was them carrying out a limp, not moving Na’vi. Whether she was dead or alive, they didn’t know.
What the recoms knew was that they were not finished with you and you knew Quaritch still had plans. 
The team knew you from before. They wouldn’t shoot you and dump your body in the water. You were being taken back to their base, where they would take care of you.
(probably won't be able to post for the next 2 weeks, so sorry. I'm learning for finals and have so many assignments due.)
Let me know how you liked it <3 i appreciate all feedback. This took me way too long💞💀
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aritany · 27 days
Text
On Identity: The Truth
Content warnings: homophobia, transphobia, references to self harm and suicide.
I’ve been keeping secrets my whole life.
I’m 10 and I’m listening to my dad at the dinner table, who I know to be the most trustworthy person in the world. He talks about the legalization of marriage between two people of the same sex and asks us to consider the implications. Where do we draw the line in the sand? Legalizing gay marriage paves the way for legalizing pedophilia, after all. If a union between two men or two women isn’t disrespecting the sanctity of marriage, what’s next? Marriage between men and animals?
I’m 11 the first time I hear it: “It doesn’t matter how low I set the bar for you, you still can’t reach it.”
I’m confused and afraid—I’m trying so hard—but I hear it then, and again, and again, spoken low in disappointment, shouted with a vein popping in her forehead, cold like a fact, and it sinks in, bone deep.
I’m 12 with my first crush on a girl. I’m not confused, I know that’s what it is—I want to kiss my friend, and I already know not to talk about it. Never to talk about it. It isn’t safe.
I’m 13 and doubting. I throw myself into fitting in. I pick the right boys to like and I go overboard, and I do like them, I do, I do, I want them to like me, I want to be their friend. I want to be their equal, but that’s not quite how the story goes, so I settle for trying to hold hands with somebody I desperately crave respect from, but that’s wrong too, I learn. 
I’m 14 and convicted. How could this be wrong? I brush hands with a girl in choir and we meet eyes and I know. I watch a gay kiss on TV and I sob into my hands and I tell no one, no one, no one.
I’m 15 and I come out to my mom, haltingly, with the terminology that I have, because the thought of hiding forever—keeping quiet through one more dinner—kills me.
She tells me no. She tells me I’m wrong.
I look in her eyes and I understand: it’s not an option, and it never will be.
I’m 15 and I do my best to stop there.
It doesn’t work.
I’m 16 when I first hear my mom say that you can love someone and not approve of their lifestyle. I wonder what kind of love that is. I wonder how that kind of diluted, half-hearted, patronizing love can be enough for anyone. I wonder if she’s thought about how that feels, to be told that who you are—not by choice—is fundamentally wrong.
I’m 16 and a boyfriend is a shield. The right choice, so I make it, and it’s even almost fun. I love being his friend. I’m afraid of anything more.
I’m 17 and my youngest sibling whispers, “So am I.”
My heart breaks for the pain they’ll experience, as they too are taught, painstakingly, how to hate themself. Which parts of themself have to be kept hidden, which parts are shameful. They sit at that dinner table and hear the rhetoric that pushed me to the brink and over it, and I hope they’re stronger than I am.
They aren’t.
I’m 18 and my mom works at a college for the performing arts. I sit and curdle quietly while she talks about her genderqueer students. Misgenders them behind their backs. Deadnames used flippantly. She knows better, after all. She can be the expert on somebody else’s identity. They’re mentally ill, all of them. None of them are happy. They’re searching for something only God can provide.
I’m 19 and I come out as bisexual to the man I’m certain I’m going to marry, tearing the secret out like a bandage fused to skin. He tells me of course it’s fine, that he supports who I am. Of course people like me should have rights, of course. I laugh, relieved. Later, I find out this moment was almost a dealbreaker for him, and I wonder how much was ever real.
I’m 20 and I’m out. I’m 20 and I’m free. I’m 20 and I believe, because I’ve been told, that I am loved for who I am. All of who I am. I still flinch when I hear a car door slam.
I’m 21 and I’m searching for the connection to my womanhood. I’m searching for what makes a woman a woman. I’m reading gender theory and talking to friends around the world and wondering exactly what it is that I’m missing.
What does the rest of the world know that I don’t?
I’m 22 when my marriage ends because my body might not be attractive to my husband one day, and my parents email him in support and solidarity, expressing sympathy, and I’m not surprised.
I’m 22, and standing up for who I am has cost me everything. A spouse, two sets of parents, financial security, a city’s worth of community, more childhood friends than I can count. My parents tell me to go back in the closet so my ex-husband will love me. To them, his frustration is understandable, of course—by presenting androgynously, I’m betraying my marriage vows, after all.
I wonder, stunned into silence, where I promised to look like a woman.
I’m 23 when I come out to my parents for the third time; not as bisexual, not as trans, but as hurt. 
I lay out the pain of the last decade as succinctly as I can, hoping they’ll hear. When I assert that yes, to be in relationship with me, use of my name and pronouns is a requirement, my mother jokes, “Well, we don’t negotiate with terrorists.”
It’s not a joke.
I see the flash in her eyes, the instant regret as she laughs it off like it’s funny, but it isn’t.
The kid sitting at the dinner table knows it’s not a joke. The kid who listened to countless lectures on the morality of queerness knows it’s not a joke. The kid who stood with shaking hands and tried to bleed out the bad knows it’s not a joke. Years of casual bigotry taught me how to hate myself, which parts of myself I should cross out and ignore, which parts of myself I should be ashamed of.
I’m 23, and I have finally unlearned shame, and when I ask my parents to see me, the joke is that I’m a terrorist. I’m unreasonable.
The shock of it becomes a balm, later on.
Some jokes aren’t funny.
Some jokes aren’t jokes at all.
I’m 24 and I’m learning that it’s scary to be alone. Bigotry made me an orphan and made us strangers, and knowing that it’s the right choice to stand up for myself doesn’t make it any easier. I’m learning the only way out is through, if you’re not squeamish:
Cut off the part of yourself that’s 7 years old standing outside of their bedroom because the nightmare had teeth and claws and they are the heroes that will hold you close and make it warm again.
Amputate.
Cauterize.
Don’t let them see you bleed.
I’m learning that the wound takes a long, long time to close.
I’m 25 as I write this, and I am proud of who I am, even if I’m still bleeding. All of who I am. It’s taken a long time for me to let that person see the sun, but here we are, basking in the glow. Those wounds are healing. I am visible for everyone else who whispers, “So am I.”
Your sunshine will come. Your sunshine will come. 
Your sunshine will come.
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candyskiez · 6 months
Text
usually I hate possession plots but god,I love the possessed hunter plot. because it's just so painfully resonant as an abuse victim. especially to anyone who's been abused by bigots.
like. this outside force you once loved, you spent so much of your time trying to please, so much of your time begging for the approval of, isolates you. they cause you to grow paranoid and angry, snapping at people and pushing you away from your support system. makes you seem crazy to your loved ones, making them doubt your mental health and making you question your sense of reality because you can't tell what's real or not anymore (gaslighting, baby!) you're cut off and overwhelmed. you get put in situations where you're forced to do things you don't want to, you're in so much pain, you're being treated like something with no wants or thoughts of their own. you're stripped of your autonomy. you're belittled for what you wanted and told THIS is how you're supposed to be, and you're so miserable. you're pitted against your loved ones. your abuser tries to make all your loved ones hate you so you come back to them, so they don't lose you. and belos being a horrifically realistic portrayal of an IRL abuser makes this so much worse. he craves Caleb's attention and tries to force hunter to fill that void. nevermind HES the one who robbed himself of caleb in his life by killing him. he tries to make hunter his shoulder to cry on, his therapist, his punching bag, his doctor. uses him to look at himself and go "see! look how good I'm doing! my family is back and he finally loves me again!" , he is obsessive and horrible and cruel and so horrifically realistic. he strips hunter of his autonomy, and in the shit that will start sounding familiar to people who grew up in bigoted families:
forced him out of what made him most comfortable. literally grew out his hair against his will, treated how he'd changed his body and wardrobe to make himself more comfortable as something that tainted him.
also just. holy shit the violating him like that. just the fucking undertones. it's fucking horrific.
and that's why him fighting back is so huge. because he has the strength to say, no. fuck you, no. this is my goddamn body. this is my goddamn life. he takes all these things he LOVED. he loved, that belos had taught him he was sinful and a horrible person for not despising (hm, allegories) and says, fuck you, I WANT this. I want this, I love this, you tried to teach me to hate it but I don't. I love it. I love it, and you didn't break me. I want to leave the coven, I want to leave you. you hurt me, and I said sorry. you used me, and I said sorry. I am done being sorry. I am done feeling bad. I want this life you're trying to take from me. I want to go to the boiling isles and I want to have a life there, in that world you hate so much. I want to go to the boiling isles and be sinful and disgusting and everything you hate and I will love it. I will be happy. I will be free and everything you hate. and I miss when I thought I could please you, because it was simple. but I am happier as a heretic and as a sinner, and you can't change me. I tried to change myself for you, I just ended up miserable. you can't make me something I'm not. I tried. and I am done trying. I am hunter. fuck you, my name is hunter. my name is hunter, and you hurt people. it doesn't matter if you were trying to help me. you hurt me. and I am done, and I am leaving, and most of all I will never let you hurt anyone else like you hurt me.
and he fucking got it, man. he fucking got it. he went through HELL and he still came back swinging. the death feels symbolic to me almost? losing a part of you in traumatic events and you have to live without that part. and you got out but you lost pieces of you in the process, and that stays with you.
but he keeps going. he kept fucking going man and THAT is fucking amazing to me. he kept going. ohhh my god. I wish I had this when I was 13. hunter isn't as massive of a hyperfixation for me anymore by a long shot, but goddamn. I love this dude. I LOVED the possession scene so fucking much and it will always resonate with me so, so hard.
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bratzforchris · 2 months
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Hi! I hope this isn't too weird, but I was wondering if you could write a fic where Matt is autistic? I see myself a lot in him and the podcast episode where they kept calling him "Miserable Matt" made me think about myself a lot. So maybe a fluffy hurt/comfort fic where he just gets tired of it because it's something he can't help and reader helps him through it with his special interests? It's okay if not! Thank you 💞
My Person, M. Sturniolo
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Summary: In which the best cure for everything is cuddles and special interests<3
Pairing: Matt x gender neutral reader
Warnings: Mentions of autistic meltdown, going nonverbal, Nick and Chris lowkey suck here 😭
Word Count: 1.4k
A/N: Thank you for the request! Please remember that my writing is fictional--I am not saying or assuming that Matt is autistic and I definitely don't think Nick and Chris would act this way in real life. It's just a story :) Now, please enjoy 💚
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“Miserable Matt” this and “Miserable Matt” that. It was almost sickening the way he was constantly the target of Nick and Chris’s jokes. Deep down, Matt knew his brothers didn’t really mean any harm, but that didn’t make his feelings any less hurt. He never purposely tried to be sad or depressing when they were filming, it was just kind of the way his natural personality was. 
Being autistic, his voice tended to have a flatter affect than most people’s. Even when he was filled with autistic joy, his voice rarely got louder or higher. Usually, his brothers were quite understanding of his disability, always standing up for Matt and making sure he was treated fairly, but then there were days like today, where they were filming an episode for Cut the Camera, and Nick and Chris just couldn’t stop the jokes from rolling off their tongues. 
“I dunno,” Matt said quietly, but with a smile, fidgeting with his hands. “I just like to be alone sometimes. It gives me the creative freedom that I don’t always get from other people, y’know?” 
“Oh here we go again,” Chris snorted. “Miserable Matt back at again with his depression poetry.”
“That’s not poetry.” Matt grumbled, trying to hide the hurt in his voice. 
The triplets were currently discussing where they got their video ideas from, and how they stayed motivated to make content, even when they didn’t feel like it. Of course Chris and Nick had ‘normal people’ answers, like going out with friends or going on vacation. But being autistic, Matt didn’t recharge that way. He preferred to be alone to gather his thoughts and reset his mind. So of course, that was made fun of. 
-`ღ´-
“So, what do you guys think about the edits people make of you?” Nick asked. “Love or hate them?”
“It depends,” Chris shrugged. “Some of them make me think ‘Damn, I’m fine’, but others are kinda…weird. No offense, guys!” he threw his hands up quickly, smiling at the camera. 
“I like them. I think it’s sweet that someone takes time out of their day to edit me.” Matt smiled. 
“Yeah,” Nick groaned. “Cause yours are all sad and depressing and ‘poor baby Matt’ while a song from folklore plays in the background.”
“That is so not true.” Matt protested. 
“‘Poor Matt and his autism’ while some sad song plays in the background. You like it because it validates you.” Chris chuckled. 
“That’s not true!” Matt was starting to get teary eyed, but he couldn’t help it; he was sensitive. “Some of them are nice.”
“Miserable Matt’s gotta watch sad edits of himself to fulfill his aesthetic.” Nick laughed. 
All was silent for a moment, until Matt finally spoke, looking at his brothers with watery eyes. “Why are you guys so mean to me?”
“Matt, come on. We’re joking.” Chris rolled his eyes. 
“But it’s not a joke,” Matt whispered, avoiding their eyes. “You guys use me as the butt of the joke all the time. ‘Matt’s too quiet’, ‘Miserable Matt’, ‘Matt and his anxiety’. It’s annoying, okay?”
“It’s just a joke, Matt,” Nick tried to explain calmly. “We don’t mean any harm.”
“Do you? Because last time I checked, making fun of someone’s disability or mental health problems is harm.” 
“Don’t be like that, bro.” Chris tried to put a comforting, ‘olive branch’ hand on Matt’s shoulder. 
“No,” Matt stood up, throwing his headphones off. “I’m done. Finish recording without me.”
The boy quickly exited the room, leaving a stunned Nick and Chris in his wake. Matt didn’t usually lose his cool like that when he knew the camera was rolling, but he hadn’t been sleeping well lately and the last thing he wanted was a recording of him bordering on a meltdown. Even if it could be edited out, he really didn’t want that immortalized forever. They were embarrassing enough as it was. 
Matt retreated to his room, anxiously playing with the tangle that he kept in the pocket of his hoodie for when he needed a fidget toy. The calm, woodsy aesthetic of his bedroom relaxed him somewhat as he stepped inside his safe haven. It wasn’t enough, though. He needed someone who got it, who knew it was like to feel different. And so, he pulled out his phone, quickly texting you.
Matt: babe, can we go to the park?
You looked up from your book when Matt’s text came through. As an autistic couple, you had set up a ‘code word’ for when either one of you felt like they were on the verge of having an autistic meltdown, and that was Matt’s. You quickly gathered your things, speeding over to the triplets house as Matt sent you a flurry of texts, somewhat describing what had happened.
When you let yourself in with the key they had given you, Nick and Chris looked up, surprised by your entrance. “Where’s Matt?” You asked. 
“In his room.” Chris mumbled, not looking up from his phone. 
You didn’t have the energy, nor were you in the mood to deal with the boys right now, so you quickly pushed past them, hurrying up the stairs. “Can I come in, sweetie?” You asked when you reached Matt’s door, knocking softly. 
You were quite worried about the silence until your phone pinged with a text of mhm from Matt. You realized that meant that he was probably nonverbal at the moment, and you hastily let yourself into the dark room. Matt had drawn the curtains, turning on one small lamp with a soft, orange glow. Your boyfriend was huddled up under his weighted blanket, headphones on and softly stroking Mr. Wrinkleton’s fur. You let out a breath when you noticed that he seemed much more relaxed than when he had first texted you, but that didn’t stop you from missing the tear tracks on his cheeks. 
“Hi sweet boy.” You spelled into his palm as you softly set down on the bed beside him. 
Matt grabbed his communication cards off the nightstand, riffling through them for a moment, before he showed you the one that said ‘Can I have a hug?’. Without another word, you pulled your boyfriend into a deep pressure hug, knowing they were his favorites. They made his body feel perfectly aligned and usually helped calm him after a meltdown. After a moment, Matt pulled out of your grip, slipping his headphones off. 
“We don’t have to talk about it, hun. We’ll work it out with Nick and Chris later, okay? You just relax, baby,” You said gently. “Are you hungry, hun?”
Matt shook his head, grabbing your palm and spelling out ‘I just want you’ in your palm since he didn’t have a card for that. You smiled, placing a kiss on his cheek. This was one of your favorite parts about being a neurodivergent couple. You just got each other in a way that other people didn’t. You could sit in companionable silence and never feel awkward or bored. In your embrace of him, you noticed that Matt had slid a card towards you that read ‘Can we watch nature videos?’. 
One of Matt’s special interests and overall favorite things, was nature, but especially the forest and woodland animals. He could watch the soothing videos of the forest in its natural state for hours and not get bored, which had led you two to make a special card just for that when you were making his communication cards together. Your boy smiled as you stood up, grabbing the remote for his TV, before flicking it to one of Matt’s favorite, ten-hour-long videos of the forest and its animals on YouTube. 
“I love you, babe.” You told him as you both got comfortable under his large weighted blanket. 
‘I love you!!!!!’ Matt explained, showing you a card. 
The extra exclamation points had been at his insistence. He insisted that he loved you more than anyone else and needed you to know that. You couldn’t lie when you said that that had made you smile. You were each other’s first significant other, and Matt made you feel so completely special. Even now, as you laid here together, not speaking but cuddling as you watched videos of chipmunks and deer, you knew that Matt was your person. 
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tags ���: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @oobleoob @mattsfavwh3re @melguilbert @idek3000hi @faygo-frog @mayhem-72
note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3
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1-800-kami · 5 months
Text
margaret - lana del rey | nanami kento
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.. just when you thought nanami left behind nothing, you discover a letter on the top of his closet... addressed to you.
content: 0.9k words, anime spoilers, fem!reader, small banana fish allusion at the end because i hate my life
author's note: i'm not okay.
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it’s october 31st, 2019, and you think you’ve finally gained enough courage to clean out kento’s closet.
one year. that’s exactly how long it’s been since his death. ever since you found out that your fiance was a part of the thousands who fell victim to the shibuya incident, the days have blurred into one another. each day seems monotonous and devoid of life without the man who promised to spend the rest of his life with you.
each day, you just dream of the day that you’ll be able to see him again.
still, no one was using the clothes from his closet. you knew your fiance would’ve preferred it if you donated his clothes to someone who could actually use them. you’ve been putting it off, since you knew that the smell of his clothes would just fill your heart with yet another round of painful memories. despite that, you knew you had to do it one day.
you haven’t touched his closet since the day he died. his clothes still smell like his perfume, and everything is neatly folded. you take one of his shirts with a shaky breath and revel in his scent, eyes watering knowing that even though his scent is still there, he isn’t.
and that makes you feel alone. fuck, you feel so awfully alone. 
your eyes scan through the entire closet, wondering where you’re gonna start with the cleaning. then, something sticking out of the top of your closet catches your eye. it seems so deliberately placed- wait, is that an envelope?
standing on your tiptoes and taking the envelope, you gasp–realizing that it's a letter addressed to you. from kento.
as far as you knew, your fiance didn’t leave anything behind for you other than a few broken promises. your engagement ring still rests on your ring finger, and it breaks your heart knowing that your wedding day will never come. he promised to marry you, that your honeymoon would be in kuantan, malaysia; and eventually–you’d buy a small house there just for the two of you, where sorcerers and curses are finally alien words and the rest of your days are spent out on the beach.
of course, none of that would ever happen now. you live knowing that your engagement ring will never be replaced with a wedding ring.
still, you thought that you’d live the rest of your life knowing that nanami never left anything behind for you... but this letter was new. you open it up, finding words scrawled in the handwriting that you knew all too well.
“to y/n—my love,
if you’re reading this, then it means that i’m dead, and i’m sorry.
i’m writing this letter because i know that as a jujutsu sorcerer, coming back home is never guaranteed. and yet, if i ever die, i don’t want you to be left behind with nothing. so one day, you’re going to have to clean out my closet, and you’re eventually going to find this letter.
i’m writing this hoping that you’re never going to have to read this, and i’ll throw this letter away eventually because i lived to come back home to you. 
but we both know that there’s a chance i might not come home.
living to see the next day isn’t guaranteed for any of us. not for me, and not even for people like gojo. so if it ever comes to this, i want you to live for the both of us, love. it’s difficult but i truly don’t want to hold you back from being happy just because i’m gone. fall in love again and live your life. then, when i see you again, you can tell me everything, and i’ll be excited to hear all about it.
i can hear you outside right now humming while making dinner. i want the rest of our life to be domestic like that—but sometimes, life isn’t always fair.
i remember getting photos of us printed out, because whenever i would be out on a mission, i found myself missing you all the time… so i always kept photos of you and me in my phone case. i want you to have these photos because they kept me going whenever i wasn’t able to be with you. i hope you can eventually learn to do the same, love.
just know that i love you. i love you so, so much, dear. you’re my reason to live. you’re the reason why i love coming home every day—you’re the reason i work as hard as i can so you’ll never have to read this letter. and i really do hope that you’ll never, ever read this.
i love you and i’ll repeat it until the entire world knows it. i���m sorry that i never got to marry you. i’m sorry that we never got to go to kuantan together. i’m sorry that i never got to do the things that i promised i would. 
even though i’m sorry for everything, you might’ve noticed that i haven’t said goodbye. that’s because i won’t say goodbye, because eventually, there’ll come a time when the stars align and we’ll meet again, no matter how far apart we are. and i can’t wait to see you again…
…because then, i’ll make everything up to you.
love, 
kento.”
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wholoveseggs · 2 months
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Hello, how are you? Could i request an angsty but smutty and fluff fic of Elijah and reader where they get into a fight but makeup in the end?
Stubborn
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
You and Elijah get into a fight about his protective nature. He thinks you are too stubborn, and you think he's too controlling. How will you resolve your issues?
♡♡ Thanks for the request anon! I don't know if this is very angsty, but it certainly is very smutty ♡♡
4.1k words - Warnings: smuttttt, very little plot, Cami being the best, dom!elijah (you like him in control? well... here you go...), fingering, squirting, angry sex...
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"I'm not some damsel in distress, I don't need your protection!" You yelled, louder than you meant to. Arguing with Elijah was always a test of your restraint. He made it so damn difficult, he was always calm and composed. Sometimes you just wanted to push his buttons.
"Darling, I have so many enemies, and you're not invincible." He tried to reason.
"Don't patronize me, I know that, but you treat me like I can't take care of myself!" You snapped, pacing around the living room. You tried to calm yourself down, you didn't want to say something you'd regret, but the anger bubbling inside you wouldn't go away.
"I'm not trying to patronize you, I just think you could make better decisions." He said softly, his eyes following you as you paced.
"It's like you're treating me like a child! We're supposed to be equals, and you always talk to me like you're the parent and I'm the kid!" Your voice cracked a little, when you got angry you also would cry. You hated that about yourself.
Elijah could see the pain in your eyes, you were his soft and sweet y/n. He just wanted to protect you. He tried to approach you, to hold you and comfort you, but you pushed him away.
His actions made you feel weak, and foolish, here was a man that faced countless dangers, he was centuries old, he fought vampires and werewolves, witches and even his own siblings. And you were just this fragile thing, this tiny human he had to watch out for. It made you feel so weak and pathetic, all your insecurities bubbling up inside you, the tears falling down your cheeks.
You stormed away from him, and he let you, because he knew if he pushed you, it would just make things worse.
You had been dating Elijah for two months now, and in that time, he had taken on the role of a protective boyfriend. You liked being taken care of, but sometimes it felt like he didn't see you as an equal.
You had been arguing about this a lot lately. You didn't like being treated like you were breakable. You weren't. You had dealt with plenty of dangers in your life, and he didn't give you enough credit.
He was a stubborn man, and you were a stubborn woman, so the tension kept rising, until you finally had to get away from him. So you decided to stay at Cami's for a few days, she was a good friend, and she didn't judge you. She could always use some company anyways.
"So, he's a bit over protective, huh?" Cami asked. You were curled up on her couch, drinking a glass of wine. You were both having a night in, wearing pajamas and doing self-care.
"Yeah, and I know he means well, but I really value my independence, it's not something I'm willing to give up," You admitted.
"Do you feel like he doesn't respect you?" She asked, taking a sip of her own wine.
"No, he does, I know that, but it feels like he doesn't trust me." You said, looking down into your glass.
Cami stood and grabbed some snacks, tossing you a bag of your favorite chips. "I don't think that's it, I think he's scared. Scared to lose you. He's been through so much, and he's lost a lot of people he's loved." She said, plopping back down on the couch.
You let out a long sigh, you knew of his pain, but it was still hard to hear out loud. He held all of his trauma inside him, and sometimes it was difficult for him to share, even with you.
"I love him Cami, it's just hard. I've always had to take care of myself, I guess I just have a hard time accepting someone wanting to do that for me." You said softly, feeling the tears brimming your eyes.
"Have you told him that? That you love him?" She asked.
"No, I... I want him to say it first." You admitted.
Cami chuckled and took a long sip of her wine, then grabbed the remote and turned on a movie. It was one of those sappy romances that were so over the top and cheesy. But that's why they were so fun to watch.
"Just tell him. I'm sure he loves you too." Cami said, her gaze fixed on the tv.
"I know," you sighed, "I just want him to initiate, his so reserved, and I'm tired of always being the one who has to take the first step." You grumbled.
"He's probably worried about scaring you away, or making things awkward, you know how he can be." She said, turning to look at you, giving you a comforting smile.
"Yeah, I guess." You mumbled, curling up further on the couch.
Cami gave you a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder and the two of you continued to watch your movie, the sappy love story playing out in front of you.
"So," she said, breaking the silence, "how's the sex?"
You choked on your wine, sputtering a bit before regaining your composure. Cami was a little shit sometimes.
"The sex is amazing," You said, smirking at her. "But... I'm always the one initiating it. Sometimes I think his biggest problem is that he's too gentlemanly."
"Well, what have you done to make him be more spontaneous?" Cami asked, grabbing the bottle of wine and pouring more in her glass.
"Me?" You squeaked. "What did I do?"
"Maybe he doesn't want to take control because you never gave him permission." She asked.
You sat and thought about that. You were usually the one who would start things. You initiated kisses, hugs, hand holding, even the sex. Elijah was so reserved, so proper, he didn't want to overstep. It made you feel like he didn't desire you, which was ridiculous, you had seen him undressing you with his eyes.
"That's fair." You said. "I didn't realize he was waiting for permission."
"Men are idiots." Cami stated, making you laugh.
"Sometimes," you said, chuckling. "I just want to see him be the one to initiate, you know?"
"I know." She said, leaning back on the couch.
You finished the bottle of wine and watched the rest of the movie. It was so sweet, the ending was a happy one, the couple was together and they were in love. You wished life was that simple.
The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache and a dry mouth. Cami was already awake, making coffee.
"Ugh," you groaned, rubbing your temples. "I should have drank more water,"
"I tried to remind you." Cami said, smirking at you.
"Well, excuse me for being drunk," You replied.
She handed you a mug of coffee, and you sipped it slowly, letting the warmth of the drink soothe your throat.
"Thanks for letting me stay here," you said.
"You know I don't mind." She replied, sitting on the couch next to you.
You leaned your head on her shoulder, sighing.
"I love him, but I think I need some space. Some time to myself." You said softly.
"I think that's a good idea." She replied.
"Are we doing the right thing? Am I being selfish?" You asked, chewing your bottom lip.
"No, you're not. You're being realistic. You need some space and some time to yourself." She replied.
"I'm going to go to the compound and pick up some clothes and stuff." You said.
"Want me to come with you?" She asked.
"No, that's ok, I think I can handle myself." You replied, smiling at her.
She gave you a reassuring squeeze and you got up, feeling a bit better after your talk.
"Thanks Cami, I'll call you later," You said, grabbing your keys and heading out.
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Elijah was sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking a glass of whiskey, and he had a book open in front of him, though he wasn't reading it. His mind was too preoccupied. He missed you terribly, it had only been a couple days, but it felt like an eternity.
He thought back to the last conversation you had had. You had stormed off, and he hadn't chased after you, because he knew you needed time to cool down. He wanted to tell you he was sorry, but he knew you didn't want to hear it right now.
You were the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he didn't want to lose you. He was used to losing people, he had spent centuries running, he had been betrayed, lied to, hurt. But he had never met anyone quite like you.
You were sweet, funny, smart, and caring. He had fallen for you quickly, but he had been too afraid to admit it. Like if he said it out loud, everything would fall apart.
But in your absence he realized his mistake, and how foolish he had been. No more wasting time, he needs to tell you that he loves you, despite how stubborn you are.
You walked into the compound, it was eerily quiet, you hoped Elijah was out. So you could just quickly grab your things and leave.
You didn't expect him to be waiting for you in the kitchen, his face was serious, but his eyes were full of emotion.
"Elijah, I'm just here to pick up some clothes," You said, trying to walk past him. He stepped in front of you, blocking your way.
"We need to talk." He said, his tone firm.
"No, we really don't, I just want my things," You said, trying to move around him. He moved again, his arms crossed, and his face was stern.
"Stop treating me like a child! Let me by!" You yelled. He let you pass him and you ran up to your bedroom, grabbing some clothes.
He followed you and stood in the doorway, watching you, his eyes boring into your skin.
"Stop looking at me like that," You said, throwing some clothes into a bag.
"I hate seeing you upset," He replied, his voice soft.
"I'm not upset, I'm just angry." You said, moving past him to go into the bathroom, grabbing your toothbrush.
He followed you and leaned against the doorframe, watching you gather your toiletries.
"Please, let's just talk." He pleaded.
You sighed, looking up at him, his expression was pained, his jaw was clenched. You could see the desperation in his eyes. Your anger was still in charge though and you pushed past him again and started packing your things on the bed.
"So talk, I'm listening," You said harshly, still not looking at him.
He took a deep breath, his fists clenched, and he closed his eyes for a moment, composing himself. He knew he couldn't get through to you when you were angry like this.
"You're right," He said, opening his eyes and looking at you. "I'm sorry. I haven't been treating you fairly. I've been trying to protect you. But you are being stubborn and you're not letting me explain,"
You turned to look at him, trying to ignore how good he looked. His hair was messy, like he had been running his hands through it, and he was wearing a black shirt, his sleeves rolled up, and his tie was hanging loose around his neck. A part of you wanted to just give in and kiss him, but the other part of you was still pissed off.
He could hear your heart beating faster, your body temperature rising. He knew that he had an effect on you, and he was enjoying seeing you get flustered. He gave you a crooked smirk, and took a step closer to you, and you backed up, hitting the bed.
You took a shaky breath, trying to steady your breathing. You were angry, but his presence always made your body react, and your head spin.
"So stubborn," he growled, pushing you onto the bed.
"Fuck you, Elijah," you hissed, trying to sit up.
"Not today," he smirked, pinning you down with his weight.
"I said, fuck you," You growled, pushing on his chest.
He chuckled and leaned down, his face inches from yours. His eyes were dark, his lips curled up in a devilish smile.
"Say please," He purred, his breath ghosting over your lips.
You let out a frustrated groan, and he kissed you, hard. You whimpered, and he slipped his tongue into your mouth, exploring it, tasting you.
"Is this what you want? To be fucked?" He whispered, his lips grazing your ear.
"No," you lied, trying to squirm away from him, but his grip was too tight.
"Don't lie, darling, your body betrays you," He growled, nibbling your earlobe before leaving a trail of hickeys down your neck.
He suddenly tore the shirt off of you, making you gasp. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, his other hand moving to your waist, pulling your skirt off.
"Eli- my clothes!" You whined, but he just chuckled, his eyes roaming your body.
"I'll buy you new ones," He smirked, nipping at your jaw, then capturing your lips with his.
"You can't just-" you were cut off by him biting your lip. You groaned and he released you, his hands roaming your body.
"Stop being so stubborn," He whispered, his fingers brushing over your lace panties, making you shiver.
"I'm not," you argued, biting back a moan as his fingers teased your clit.
He laid on his side next to you, opening your legs and pushing your panties out of the way. He grazed over your clit with the pad of his index finger, teasing you slowly. He loved this, teasing you, torturing you. You were so beautiful when you were desperate for him.
You whined and pushed your hips against his hand, and he pulled his hand away, smirking.
"You're such a tease," You growled, glaring at him.
"You're cute when you're angry," He smiled, his fingers returning to your pussy. He tapped your clit lightly, his lips ghosting over yours. You tried not to react, but it felt so good, this dominant side of him was driving you crazy.
He slid two fingers into you, and began thrusting them slowly. You gasped and arched your back, moaning loudly. Watching your reaction was thrilling, his cock was painfully hard, but he wanted to make you cum first.
"Listen to those sweet sounds," he purred, pumping his fingers in and out of you, curling them just right. “So filthy and wet, the way your body responds, it's like you were made for me."
"You're a fucking asshole," you moaned, trying to buck your hips against his fingers.
"I can stop, if you want," He whispered, his voice dark. 
"No," You whimpered, "I-I'm close."
"Oh, I know, darling." He smiled, "You're going to cum, and I'm going to make you cum again, and again, until all the stubborn thoughts in your head disappear."
His fingers were pumping fast now, and you couldn't help the noises you were making. Your orgasm was building in such a way that you knew it would be intense. He was right, you were stubborn, you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan, but it was becoming more and more difficult to hold back.
"Eli- wait, your gonna make me-" You stuttered, gasping as he added a third finger, stretching you even more.
"Make a mess?" He purred, curling his fingers just right, hitting your g-spot.
The lewd, wet, squelching noises coming from your pussy were embarrassing, and the fact that he was enjoying them made it worse. He could feel your walls tightening around his fingers, your whole body trembling, you were so close.
He sped up his pace, and he could see the moment when you reached your peak. Your body tensed up, your back arching, and then a loud cry escaped your lips.
Your juices spilled out onto his fingers, covering his hand. It was so much, you had never squirted before, and the look on Elijah's face was pure lust and amusement.
It made you embarrassed and a bit angry and you tried to move away, but he kept his fingers buried deep inside you, not letting you escape.
"Don't be ashamed," He said, kissing your forehead, his fingers moving slowly, causing your legs to tremble.
"I'm not," You panted, glaring at him, trying to suppress a moan.
"Really?" He purred, his eyes locking with yours, "Then why are you blushing?"
He smirked, and you tried to hide your face in the sheets, but he wouldn't let you. He was still smirking, and you were getting angrier.
"I'm not-"
"Shh, love, you can't hide from me," he cooed, his fingers still pumping into you, stretching you out. Building up another climax.
"Eli-fuck," You gasped, the pleasure building.
"That's it, let me hear those pretty sounds," He whispered, his voice husky.
He was still fully clothed, and he hadn't even touched himself, he was only focused on you.
He kept fucking his fingers into you, his thumb circling your clit, making sure every inch of your pussy was being stimulated.
Your body was trembling, and you could feel yourself getting close again, you pushed your heels into the bed, trying to get away, but he didn't stop, he just kept going, his pace relentless.
"I can't- oh fuck-," You gasped, arching your back as the orgasm crashed over you. Your wetness soaked his hand and the bed below.
Elijah pulled his fingers out, bringing them up to his mouth and licking them clean. Then he kissed you, his tongue pushing past your lips, tasting all of you.
You tried to glare at him, but he was now kissing your neck, his free hand moving down to cup your breast, teasing your nipples.
"I'm still mad at you," You panted, trying not to moan.
"I know," He smirked, "And I'm not finished with you."
He grabbed your thighs, spreading your legs, and settled between them, his eyes roaming over your body.
"Such a pretty thing," He murmured, tracing patterns on your skin.
He took ahold of your waist, pulling you towards him, and began to grind against your wet pussy, making you whimper.
"You're so sensitive, baby," He cooed, his lips brushing over your collarbone.
You could feel his erection straining against his pants, and you could tell he was enjoying this just as much as you were. He undid his belt, pulling it out of the loops, and tossing it to the floor.
He pulled your arms above your head, his hand gripping your wrists. He unzipped his pants and took his cock out, pressing it against your entrance.
"You're already soaked for me," He whispered, kissing you deeply.
You moaned into the kiss, and he pushed his cock into you, making you whimper. He was so thick, and his length filled you completely, making your body tremble.
He began to thrust into you, his pace steady, and he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his lips grazing over your skin.
"I'm not a toy," You managed to say, your voice strained.
"No, you're not, you're mine," He growled, his hips slamming into yours, his cock hitting all the right spots.
"Fuck," You gasped, arching your back.
His grip on your wrists tightened, and he spread your legs even wider. He grinded his hips slowly, wanting to draw out your pleasure for as long as possible.
You could feel the pressure building, and it was becoming harder to concentrate, all you could focus on was his cock, his weight on top of you, the way he was looking at you.
"Say it," He growled, his hips moving faster now. "Tell me you're mine."
"I'm yours," You moaned, your voice cracking, your resolve breaking with every deep stroke.
The sound of his cock sliding in and out of your pussy filled the room, mixed with your moans and gasps, and the way the bed was creaking. He knew you were close, he could feel your muscles starting to clench around him.
"No no stubborn one, you don't get to cum yet," He growled, nipping at your ear.
He wrapped your legs around his waist, pinning you to the bed. His pace increased and he leaned in to kiss you.
"Come on darling, give in, admit I'm right," He whispered.
"Eli, please," You moaned, your fingers gripping his shirt.
"All you have to do is submit," He cooed, pressing his lips to yours.
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to resist the urge to give in, but it was so intense and his pace was relentless. He wasn't going to stop, not until you broke.
"Look at the way you open up for me," He said, his voice husky as he grinded against you. "Your needy little pussy, milking my cock, begging to be filled."
You looked down at where his cock was buried inside of you, moving in and out of your pussy. You could see how wet you were, covering his pants and your thighs, making a mess of the sheets.
"Hmm, you like that? Seeing how wet you are, all for me," He whispered, leaning down to kiss you. "Just admit that you are stubborn, and we can cum together."
Your whole body was shaking, your orgasm so close, but you fought it, squeezing your thighs together, trying to close your legs, but he wouldn't let you.
You gave up, you didn't care about the fight anymore, you just wanted to cum, you just wanted him to stop torturing you. You couldn't think straight, everything was too much, his thrusts were deep and hard, his cock was filling you, stretching you out, he knew just how to fuck you.
You couldn't hold back anymore and you finally gave in, submitting to him. "You're right," you gasped, your voice barely audible. "Please, Eli, fuck, I'm sorry, just let me cum."
"Good girl," He groaned, leaning back and spreading your thighs wide, pounding into you. He began to stroke your clit with his thumb, drawing circles, as his hips snapped hard and fast.
It was all too much, and you felt an intense release, your body convulsing, your wetness soaking him, making a mess of the clothes he was still wearing and the bed.
He chuckled, watching your cheeks flush in embarrassment as he fucked you through it. He made you squirt all over him, submitting to him completely.
You were still trembling, trying to catch your breath, you couldn't focus, your whole body was tingling with pleasure, you felt like you were floating.
He kissed you deeply, pressing his body to yours before he let out a low groan and came inside you, his cock twitching. You shuddered, your pussy still sensitive, but he didn't stop, he continued moving his hips slowly.
You could feel the warmth of his cum filling you, his cock throbbing, his breathing uneven. He kissed you softly and slowly, his fingers brushing over your cheek, caressing your face as he pulled out of you.
Now that you had come down from your high, you felt a mixture of frustration and humiliation. You tried to move, but he held you there, a devilish grin plastered on his face.
He shifted onto his back, pulling you on top of him. You straddled him, your body on top of his, your chest pressing against his chest.
"I love you," he whispered, pulling you in for another kiss.
"Eli," you muttered, burying your face in his chest. You couldn't believe he had fucked you in that way, and now he was saying the three words you wanted to hear the most. He was so perfect and so infuriating at the same time. You were angry that he was able to make you give in so easily, but it was worth it. It had never felt so good.
"I love you too, asshole," you replied, making him laugh.
He kissed you once more before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. His hands rested on your lower back, tracing lazy circles.
"I'm sorry for being protective, it's not because I don't trust you, it's because I'm afraid of losing you," he said quietly.
"I know, and I'm sorry for saying that you're a control freak," you apologized.
"No you're not," He smirked, kissing you again.
"I'm getting there," you sighed.
He laughed, tracing the curve of your hips with his fingertips. You could feel him harden underneath you, and it turned you on again. And you slowly ground your hips against his, teasing him.
His eyes grew dark, and he placed his hands on your ass, squeezing firmly. "Darling, don't," He said warningly, his voice strained.
You ignored him, rolling your hips, grinding into his lap, you wanted more.
"Don't be so stubborn Eli-,"
You were on your back before you could finish your sentence, your legs spread, his lips on yours.
You were definitely going to fight with him more often…
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