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renren-006 · 3 months

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Love Knot | Enemy's to Lovers

Wanda x Fem reader

plot: god you hated her...and the way she smiled so beautifully, but you had to kill her...right? (This is a bit of a longer one shot)

warning: love, enemy,

word count: 1614

a/n: hey!!! i am soooo happy to be posting another Wanda story!! incase anyone forgot shes my wife!! i hope you all enjoy the story and thank you to everyone who voted and contributed to helping me get to where we are!! alsoooo do you guys like me doing polls?? i think letting you guys have some sway in the story is fun but also you can submit requests for any specific storys or even if its a character and a short idea id love to hear it!

You hated her, you hated how she made you feel, how you screwed up missions when she was there, and how your boss wanted her dead. The hell were you supposed to do? For the last three years the two of you have been enemies, with a hint of flirtation. The run-ins with the two of you started when your boss wanted to test you, test your powers so he sent you somewhere he knew an Avenger would show up. It was probably the most embarrassing moment of your life coming face to face with the Scarlet Witch, you force and almost peed your pants you were so caught off guard and nervous. At the time you had not developed the extent of feelings you would have over the three years, making you hate her even more for that, but nonetheless at the time you were terrified towards her. Your shield created itself from your hands, the metal in your blood seeped out to create the weapon. She watched as it formed, merely entranced by your powers.

“Is that all you do?” she asked, her Sikovian accent in her speech. Your own measly sound made its way out.

“No…cough No” You said. That catch almost made you look weak…almost. He laughed slightly at you and simply walked past you. What the fuck did she just walk away from me? you were baffled at what she just did, her suit swishing as she made her way down the hallway.

“What…I'm sorry…why are you not fighting me?” You asked running after her, your eyebrows were up signaling to her that this in fact was your first time in a ‘fight’. She stopped and turned to you, pinning you to the wall with her powers, your blood sounded in your ears and your heart thumped away faster in your chest.

“You've never done this before hu? Well little villain, I could kill you right now without even laying a finger on you but I won't, next time I hope you've trained more to fight me head on…sweetheart” she said all those things to you, leaving you stuttering at the wall and going home hours later after catching your breath and wrapping your mind around, her.

About almost a year later you came face to face with her again, this time you had a bit more experience and you knew your powers better. You couldn't exactly remember why you were there at the same time she was, maybe it had been a coincidence or maybe it had not, you didn't really know. She stood in front of you, eying you up and down.

“Here for a mission or just to see me?” You asked her, ketting cocky and flirting was the only way you were going to make it out of this interaction with at least some part of your pride. You didn't think you could win but you also didn't want her to know that.

“I'm on a mission, little villain” She said to you, annoyance and slight amusement coursed through her words. She wanted to be annoyed that you were there but she also wasn't exactly happy about having to go through the interaction.

“My name isn't little villain”

“Oh? Then what is it?” she asked me, cocking her head to the side.

“Y/H/N” You told her, she smirked.

“What's your real name?” she asked. A genuine question from the witch. You froze, your boss's words flowing through your head.

“Never give out your real name, they will find you or your family. We cant risk you fucking up this group.” Your boss said, harsh words towards you. You nodded your head. “Your only here because of your power, don't forget that”

“Y/N” you told her, letting your name slip from your lips. She smiled at you.

“Well, little villain Y/N, it's good to be your enemy,” she said. Her hands started glowing red and before you could even create a shield from your metal you were out. Once you woke up you realized that you were lying on the ground, alarms blaring and you had just messed up another mission. Your boss was going to be seriously mad.

The next few months were some of the harshest training you had endured, and all because you let Wanda get in your head and distract you. Your boss was exhausted from your run-ins and wanted her to pay. You did too, you wanted to prove yourself, but it seemed hard to both prove to her you were a villain and succeed in your mission. It took you a longer time before he let you go out, six months since you saw wanda you were sent out on another mission.

This next mission you had included stealing equipment from an old SHIELD building. You had more training and you knew and worked with your powers more fluidly. You walked into the door, careful about alarms or other triggers that one of the Avengers would show up. The building was quiet, nothing moved and no rumble through your skin of any movement on the metal around you. This building was completely abandoned. You crept your way down to their lab, hoping to find anything on the list of things you needed to grab. It wasn't until you were almost there that a small woosh of power flooded your senses. She was here. You looked up and there she was floating down towards you. You made a shield and swords, getting ready for whatever fight was going to happen.

“Well look at you, better handle your powers now sweetheart” she said once she was on the floor next to you. You nodded and straightened your back, nerves running through you. Your heart rate increased at the flirtations name calling. “You seem…different”

“Just ready for a fight now, ready to complete this mission”

“Ah, your boss is mad at you. Little Villain” She said smirking and giving you a once over.

“Only because of you” “Me? Why I'm not the one who doesn't have a handle on her powers.” She told you, but she was mistaken. The metal under her feet began to mold and wrap around her feet. She looked down shocked to see what was happening. The burning in your head made you have to fold her sword and shield back into yourself.

“Don't. Underestimate. Me.” you said, letting the metal in you wrap around her more keeping her in place. She smiled at you.

“I'd applaud if I had my hands available.” she told you. You gave her a look not letting her hands out knowing that's how she controlled her magic. You made your way swiftly into the lab room grabbing everything you could find on your list and walked back out a few moments later. Wanda was still trapped, but you knew you only had a little longer of strength to keep her there. She smiled at you when you let her go before you bolted out of the building leaving her there impressed by your use of your powers.

He wanted her dead a year later. Your boss put a hit out on her for everything with the Avengers and also some personal vendetta against the witch. You hated her, yes, and wanted to prove you were powerful but you never wanted her dead. How could you when you liked her so much? You knew you had to do something…something to stop this. You knew you were enemies even if you didn't feel like it. That night you made the most drastic decision ever, you sent a message to the Avengers about the threat, and sat back and waited.

Three days later the attacks started and of course you did your best to stay out of the way and not die. You knew she was here before she even landed in one of the hallways. The metal sung her song of magic shocking your veins. You could feel your boss, marching his way towards her. The security cameras, shit. He saw her arrive and was on a mission. You made your ebay up the stairs towards the top level of the facility. Once you got there the fighting had already broken out, and before you could even think you flung yourself into the conflict fighting your way over to her. Then there she was, you pulled her back and threw a shield up before your boss could throw his power at her, it reflected and hit him instead. She stared at you, eyes wide.

“You sent it,” She said, looking deep into your eyes.

“I did,” you told her. Once you lowered the shield your boss was in the group backing away. The other Avengers arrived to see him being held to the ground by your power. Wanda held her hand back before they could touch you, letting them know you were good, you were not a threat to them anymore.

“Don't. Ever. underestimate me again. I'll defend her from you if you try to harm her again” you told him, crushing him more with your power and then letting him go so the others could finally lock him up.

“Well little villain, looks like i need to change your name. Little Hero” she told you, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“It's your fault too that I fell in love with you” you said, referencing when the former boss of yours was mad at you because of her. A smile fell onto her lips.

“Well I could say the same thing," she responded. The two of you are happy to not be on either side of a fight anymore.

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #mommy wanda #wanda fanfic #wandavision #wanda x you #scarlet witch

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utilitycaster · 3 months

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ok we are 10 minutes into kollok and i am straight up not having a good time but I am going to commit to this hour of watching. to keep myself from losing it i'm going to do some very irritating stream of consciousness on this post and post it at the end, nonrebloggably so as to not yuck any yums (though feel free to go wild in the replies). also I need to point out: I don't have misophonia. I have openly and repeatedly said I think the Sam Riegel ASMR ad is not just inoffensive, but actively very funny and enjoyable. The sounds on this show are setting my teeth on edge. I hate it. also for the intro the immersion is genuinely WORSE than say, CR or D20 because everyone's just reading prologues that they've written.

speaking of we're done with the prologues to the prologue and into the prologue, as demonstrated by the title screen and horrible noises.

I call this filter the "yeah I've got mild astigmatism and have taken mushrooms before, you're not special"

hmmm we're stuck in this fuckery for a while and i'm suffering so anyway folks i've made it so polygon will think CR is good:

the music is pretty good I will give them that. also this is literally not special though. like Zac just was like uhhhhhh math as any GM would say, he just was weirdly aiming for suaveness instead of like. normal.

All the profanity on this show sounds like a mormon or a ten year old who just learned the word "fuck" and is trying it out. as a woman who swears constantly i'm like what is HAPPENING. also this blonde woman who isn't on the show in the present day is rolling so hilariously badly. is this why she's not on. girl get out.

back to the present day; this actually is a really good industrial music video ruined by some actual play in the background

"zac, I'm going to command attention please"

"who's zac"

"sorry, driver" ah yes yes this is SOOOOOOO much more immersive i'm totally not making the jerk-off motion

i love u danielle radford you deserve better. although the actual RP now that we're in it is like, fine.

really i think a really significant problem is that this is the most 2014 YA-dystopia plot that ever plotted except as a core part of the premise, everyone is 30. I feel, honestly, that this is the other big issue in actual play that people at polygon obsess over that leaves me ice cold, (also? lots of fandom cold takes), but like...I was a HUGE sf nerd pretty much from childhood, and I think a lot of people came to actual play for a number of reasons not tied to the genres in which it typically exists (fantasy, science fiction, horror). This is fine but it means you get people who act like VERY standard genre conventions are either the most brilliant and original creation on earth, or utterly baffling. Anyway my point is that this is giving Divergent by Veronica Roth but it THINKS it's somewhere between Twin Peaks by David Lynch and the adaptation of the Handmaid's Tale and it's like no babe. you're Divergent by Veronica Roth. stop fronting like you're Twin Peaks. You're Divergent. By Veronica Roth. Which I read while stranded at LaGuardia over a decade ago.

lighting effects are fine honestly. reminds me of the Doja Cat 2020 MTV EMA version of Say So. Wish I were just rewatching that. rotating rock i love you. you are the best thing here other than danielle radford. I feel like I'm in a really fancy Spencer's Gifts. by the way I know i'm being pretty bitchy and incoherent here BUT I'm sober; let's hear it for Stupidly Bougie Soda and Nonalcoholic Spirits.

I'm also eating bean dip with a spoon. in my defense I made REALLY good bean dip and I don't have chips.

I just. other than the digital filter in the flashback I genuinely don't see how this is different than D20 except lacking in any charms and OH GOD THAT'S TIME.

but I want to add that like...the thing is Danielle (C-dubbs) was doing some wacky funny stuff and it felt like it was being shut down and to be fair I get wanting to stick WITHIN the genre but this whole thing feels joyless, and not like "oh, survival horror is so grimdark and sad", I am a tragedy enjoyer, but like. it feels...mandated.

Also this is weird and picky but for all of Those High Production Values (repeated direct quote from the Polygon article) they do a weirdly bad job of filming the die rolls? Like, they cut to the dice trays at the wrong time?

Finally, and this is just a pot shot at Polygon but they should stop making it so easy, but the article was like "I watched the 4-ish hour first episode and I didn't have a clue what was going on but it had Those High Production Values" and it's like...I was demonstrably fucking around on tumblr and in GIMP while watching and I have a pretty solid idea of what was going on. Maybe it goes nuts in the remaining 2.5 hours that I may chip away at to be able say I watched a full episode and decided it "wasn't for me" *smiles like I'm a waitress on Hell's Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey just asked me a question* but I think you might be dumb.

CONCLUSION: just watch the Doja Cat 2020 MTV EMA version of Say So, read Divergent (by Veronica Roth) (you don't have to be at LaGuardia) and like, check out Mentopolis or Misfits and Magic if you want to see Danielle Radford in a Kids on Bikes game that is good.

#i am NOT tagging this if you find this via search and are upset i am sorry but simply block me and leave i stand by all the above statements #long post

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icallhimjoey · 2 years

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Can you make a joe quinn x reader where him and the reader have been together for a while and since hes getting more famous of st4 she notices the fangirls comment about her and her body and how of a small chest she has compared to others and she believes yhem and wsnts to do a breast surgery and she hides the papers from him untul he finds them and they fight about it and she explains why she wants to do it and he tells her it doesnt matter to him and that he loves her and they make love? :)

itty bitty titty committee (said with love, i am a member), assemble! wordcount: 2.3K ----------

Perfect

“What the fuck is this?”

Oh, it had been sort of fun at first.

You would excitedly point out people taking sneaky pictures on the tube, and Joe would scrunch his face at you, before turning to smile at who ever had recognized him out and about. It had become a recent phenomenon that you had to deal with, and it took some time getting used to. Before, Joe had been recognized only once when you’d been out with him, and it had been an older gentleman who’d seen him in a play and just wanted to come tell him about it. No photo. No nothing. Just a nice chat. It fascinated you that now girls would come up to him as you would do a Wednesday afternoon food shop. They’d hug him in isle 3 in Tesco’s, next to the cartons of milk and boxes of cereal as you would pretend to be invisible, pushing the trolley away as you'd keep shopping. They’d hug him so tightly; his breath would escape his chest as he posed for pictures taken with phones in shaky hands.

Joe never minded. Joe always made time. He’d match their energy and his media training would kick in, you’d clock it immediately, but Joe was always genuine. A class act. He wouldn’t go as far to say that it’s what he actively wanted, being recognized in places and at times he didn’t expect to be, but he was so grateful for it. It meant that he was doing something right. It had tickled you to no end when you found people were talking online under reposted photos that were plucked off of your social media pages. You had been quick to privatize everything, but people had their ways, you were sure. People would argue with passion – “Joseph can hang out with a girl without having to date her!”, “Oh my God that’s literally his sister!”, “Daft cows, that’s his agent.”. You would send Joe screenshots in WhatsApp, adding “my good friend” or “such close siblings” with love heart emojis and he would write back “fuck off, weirdo”. When you’d been less careful and had kissed outside of a McDonalds late at night, it had proven that Joe was in fact spoken for. You had both been drinking, and you’d been so very happy with your little box of chicken nuggets, feeding Joe little bites as he smoked a cigarette next to the entrance. Joe had kissed you, and you had broken away from him in laughter because he still had chicken in his mouth. The photos and videos of you from across the street, a well lit and busy restaurant behind you and cars passing in front of you, had spread online. For a full week people you were close to couldn’t stop sending you screenshots as they came across them on social media. And you had really liked the pictures too! You really liked what you’d been wearing, and Joe had been in his brown suit – just cute pics of a cute couple being cute together.

“What the fuck is this?”

But Joe had told you to stop looking for pictures online, knowing not everyone would be nice. And he’d been right. The things you’d come across would sometimes baffle you, and you would absolutely lose yourself for hours, hidden behind your phone or laptop screen. You hadn’t let Joe see, but some of these girls were ruthless. There was no way you would have been able to predict the running joke you had become online. “Small tits McGee.” “Joe’s a boob man, how is this fair on him” “Is that why he hugs every single girl he meets like that? So he gets to press himself up to actual boobs?” Words cut deep. Deeper than you’d like to admit. And then there were TikTok videos of edited pictures pulled from your Facebook account. Big boobs photoshopped onto your frame, replaced by the actual real shot, a flashing “before and after” on a loop that emphasized your small cup-size. It wouldn’t have affected you so bad if you hadn’t already been riddled with insecurity. These girls were only echoing the voices in your head and even though you tried your very best not to, you had spiraled.

Your boyfriend had noticed you seemed a little less happy than before. You were in moods more often, and when asking if you were okay, if something was wrong, you’d never let up. “I’m fine,” you’d say, fake smile plastered on your face. And Joe wouldn’t press it, because he knew you’d come to him if you needed to, but his worry didn’t fade.

“What the fuck is this?”

After staring at yourself in your bathroom mirror, examining yourself until your body didn’t even look real to you anymore, you started looking at websites of plastic surgeons. Breast augmentations were expensive, but the images on their websites looked good. You would scan your eyes across pages for images of breasts that looked like yours in the before photos, just to see what you could turn into if you had the money. You were sure you could save up for one, it’d just take a while. You were zooming in on scars, contemplating if you’d be okay with having those, when you decided that booking a consultation would probably still your mind a bit.

And so you’d gone in. And you hadn’t told Joe. Or anyone, for that matter. And they had shown you things. 3D images of what you may look like after. And they had let you feel implants. And they’d drawn over your chest and hadn’t even questioned why you were there, so you knew. Yours were the kind of boobs people got augmented. You’d left your first appointment with booklets, flyers, and folders. They had printed the photo they had taken of you. The before. And also, the virtual after.

Sometimes, when Joe wouldn’t be in, you’d just look at it. Getting used to it. Holding up the image next to your own body, and you had started preferring the body that was promised to you by the surgeon. So, you silently had started to save money, because maybe, this was just right for you. It would end the stream of comments and jokes you’d read every day, because you couldn’t not check to see what people were saying about you. “What the fuck is this?” Joe’s tone was accusatory. Harsh.

You’d walked in on Joe, the booklets and flyers laid out on the table in front of him, the two printed pictures in his hands. He’d found them. You hadn’t known exactly how to react, but your instinct was to settle down the upset that roared within your boyfriend and had seeped out through his eyes at you.

“Oh, that’s nothing,” you tried minimizing it, sounding aloof. But your face had flushed red with embarrassment as you had stepped forward to try and take the pictures from Joe. “You’re not thinking of doing this.” Joe accused, moving his hands out of your reach and the anger in his voice flushed your body with adrenaline. You didn’t appreciate Joe’s tone. Who was he to decide this for you? His face didn’t falter, not a hint of empathy behind his eyes, and you felt anger bubble up your throat. “And if I was?” in your head you had sounded stern, but your voice left your body too shaky for your liking. Joe’s face dropped suddenly and flooded with concern. “Sweetheart,” he looked at the images again, and you felt strangely exposed. “Why?” Joe asked on an exhale, his eyes scanning the printed 'after' photo. Your arms subconsciously wrapped around your stomach, and you raised your shoulders in a shrug. Explaining it would mean you’d have to confess it was his fans that had gotten under your skin, and you didn’t want to do that. You chewed at the inside of your cheek, before growing frustrated at Joe looking at the images of you in his hands. “Give those here,” you successfully snatched them from him this time and started collecting the rest from the table. Joe watched you, his eyebrows furrowed, and his face showed genuine confusion. Your response to his words, the way you were scrambling to hide all the things he’d found when he had been looking for an envelope in drawers littered with random junk had absolutely taken him by surprise. You’d never mentioned any of this before to him. “You know you don’t need it,” Joe tried, but the compliment fell on deaf ears. You moved the pile of papers back into the drawer where Joe had found them, no need to be secretive about them now. You didn’t know how long ago Joe had discovered them, and how much of the information he’d read through. “I’m just entertaining the idea.” You pushed the drawer shut, figuratively also closing the door on the topic in your mind. It didn’t work as easy as that on Joseph, though. “When were you going to tell me?” Joe snarked, clearly annoyed by his failed attempt to quickly talk you out of getting a boob job. He couldn’t accept your mindless disregard, and he wasn’t sure what irked him more. The fact that you’d withheld this from him, or the thought of coming home one day and finding you with fake tits high up on your chest. “I would’ve let you know eventually,” you said tensely. “It doesn’t really concern you.” You lied, entirely too unconvincing and he could hear it in your voice. Joe’s eyes shot down to your chest. What was wrong with them? You had never shown insecurity before, Joe’s hands were always welcome to grope. What had changed? “Stop staring.” “You’re perfect.” Joe spoke softly, finding your eyes with his own, changing his tactics to change your mind. You weren’t great at hiding true feelings, and Joe had known you long enough to read your eyes with expertise. You scoffed at his little comment. “You are!” Joe argued, reaching out and grabbing your wrist. “Most wouldn’t agree,” you succumbed to Joe’s warm kindness and let him pull you closer. You looked down at how Joe intertwined his fingers with yours. “You should see the things they’re saying,” your voice was tiny and it shocked more worry into Joe. “Who?” Joe leant down a little, his face moving to find your line of sight to make you look at him. “Them. Online! I know I shouldn’t look- you said I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it!” you huffed, defeated, chest heaving with anger still. You were scared to elaborate much further. You knew Joe hated that success in his career also could negatively affect whoever he was close to, so you really didn’t want to press it. It would just make him feel awful. But Joe understood and it hurt his heart. It didn’t need further explaining. He embraced you as you just stood there, arms down by your sides, overtly aware of your chest pressing up against his. “Come on,” Joe moved your arms to his back, “Hug me back.”. You weakly left your hands where Joe had placed them, and you felt frustration-tears at the sides of your eyes. “Tightly!” Joe whined at you, and you obliged. You clasped your hands around your own tensed arms behind him and squeezed his ribs tightly. The pressure of your touches made the tears escape your eyes and you nuzzled your face into Joe’s chest. Then Joe reached behind you and opened the drawer you had just shut moments before, taking out the pile of paper and turning you around in his grip. Hovering over you from behind, his head heavy on your shoulder, one hand still around your waist, he guided you to the bin in the kitchen. One of his feet pressed down on the paddle, opening it in front of you. And then instead of throwing everything in himself, he pressed it all into your hands. “You don’t need it.” Joe spoke into your ear before kissing you on the patch of skin just below it, both his hands now firmly around you, holding you up. You frowned, and hesitated. Joe picked up on it immediately. “These,” his hands found your boobs, and you caved your chest inward slightly. “Are so fucking pretty.” Joe’s voice was deep, aroused, as he spoke in a near whisper and a groan slipped out right next to your ear. You dropped all that you were holding, most of it missed the bin completely, but it didn’t matter. You turned to find his lips with your own. And Joe made sure to pay extra attention to show his appreciation of you. He needed you to feel his worship of you in your bones. He roughly pushed your top up, yanking your bra up over your chest as well. His lips and teeth scraped the hot skin of your chest, tongue swirling and leaving wet trails across them. He covered you in kisses and nibbled at your nipples as your head fell back in pleasure, moans escaping your throat. Before you knew it, Joe had picked you up with strong arms and slung you lazily over his shoulder. It made you shriek, trying your best to hold onto Joe so he wouldn’t drop you as he made his way over to the bedroom. There he let you fall onto the bed. Joe put a knee down either side of you, and for a moment, just looked at you through half-lidded eyes as you smiled back at him.

“Perfect.”

#joe quinn #joseph quinn #requested #joey quinn #joe x reader #joseph x reader #perfect

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fantastic-nonsense · 2 years

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Sorry to sound ignorant, but I genuinely don’t understand what Putin could stand to gain from invading Ukraine. Can you shed any light on the subject?

He doesn't. That's the super frustrating part of this mess. Everyone with an ounce of knowledge about European-Russian international relations is scratching their heads going "what is this, and why now? He gains nothing."

A lot of people will blame this on NATO expansion concerns, but the truth is that NATO expansion has been a "concern" for years and nothing like this has ever happened (even the Invasion of Crimea in 2014 wasn't near the level of what's happening right now). Putin's not afraid of NATO; NATO's largely proved to be 'all bark and no bite' in response to repeated acts of Russian aggression since 2008. He's gotten bolder and bolder and tried to assassinate an ex-FSB agent-turned British spy on UK soil less than 5 years ago, for god's sake. Also, Ukraine's not even in NATO; if he wanted to be aggressive on that front, he'd go bother the Baltic states. If people think he's scared of NATO, they're not paying attention.

There's basically two answers that I can give that might make some sense:

Ukraine has a lot of natural gas and mineral resource reserves, and he could be trying to control them. He could also be theoretically be trying to gain control of Ukraine's southern ports, since having access to those waters been an everlasting Russian NatSec and trading issue for say......the last thousand years. That doesn't really make much sense considering the circumstances, though, especially since Russia already controls Crimea.

He's an ex-KGB officer whose pride was mortally devastated by the fall of the USSR and has been longing to recreate what was lost for thirty years. He wants to reinstate the Russian Empire (or at least the USSR as he remembers it), and he's tired of waiting for these silly little democracies on his western border to give up their "teenage rebellion phase" and come home to Mother Russia. It would explain Russia's ongoing attempts to undermine democracy worldwide (including in the US in 2016) and their cyberwarfare against the US and UK too, since a Divided West is a Weak West and a Weak West is a Beatable West. It's Russian imperialism at its finest, led by a man emboldened by his hurt ego, the West's appeasement tactics re: Crimea, repeated lack of consequences for Russia's aggressiveness on the world stage, and four years of Trump sucking up to him.

That's.....unfortunately all I've got. #2 makes total sense and is absolutely what's happening, but the way he's going about it and his actions over the past few weeks are really baffling me, because it's a completely irrational and politically stupid way to actually achieve his intended purpose of re-consolidating the former Soviet Bloc (and make no mistake because that is his purpose, which anyone who's ever listened to one of his annual speeches at the Kremlin would know).

So the only answer I really have for you is "he's finally gotten impatient waiting to re-draw the map of Europe by force and thinks he can escape permanent consequences by doing so now," even if it still doesn't truly explain what the fuck he thinks he's doing by invading Ukraine now with the strategy he appears to be using.

#ukraine #russia #vladimir putin #current events #international relations #asks #doing the equivalent of the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emoji with a side of 'we know the underlying motivations but don't understand the tactics at ALL'

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ackermans-freedom-inc · 2 years

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Some husband!Erwin Headcanons because I’m absolutely ruined thinking about him. Special thanks to @anlian-aishang as always for putting up with me and giving me the worst best brainrot 🥺

Tags: pregnancy mention, breeding (if u squint), use of “daddy” ONCE just ONCE i swear

Mdni

- you always knew he was destined for greatness, and never tried to take precedent in his life

- that’s probably one of the main reasons he fell in love with you

- when you met in university, his slicked back hair, carefully ironed slacks, and a resume already more populated than a grad students’ was not what made you gawk at him

- it was the way how he was so absolutely and utterly terrified, face to face with the resident raccoon of the business building, perched on top of the garbage can, nibbling at a half-eaten sandwich

- you practically had to drag him away before the very angry critter attacked

- after that encounter, you seemed to see Erwin everywhere: at the front of the lecture hall of that class you hated, in line for coffee, chatting with his TA, in the parking lot as he unlocked his car, gesturing for you to get in, that “of course it’s no trouble at all!” to give you a ride home

- you stayed by his side through his countless degrees. His MBA after his bachelors, his professional training courses, the countless interviews and staff meetings

- while your own degree was framed on the wall next to his, his way was always to take care of you

- you could work, if you wanted to of course. But he couldn’t stand to see you tired, imagining having to put in long hours, your adorable sleepy face on display for everyone in the board room

- so, at home you stayed, his perfect little wife

- his shiny black credit card, the number already memorized, was always at your disposal. Picking out some earrings? His gentle voice will sound over the receiver, “If you like both pairs baby, get them. Pick out a matching necklace too okay?” Why you still called to consult baffled him. He would buy you the whole store if you just said the word, but the ever loving, doting husband that he is, he’d stay patiently on the video call, watching you try on pair after pair, giving his honest feedback as clients are left to stew outside his office. After all, you were the most important.

- something he never forgot in all these years, was the importance of eating meals with you

- he’d get up early in the morning, just to make you a cup of coffee and bring it to you in bed, because no matter how early he leaves, he knows you want to give him a kiss goodbye, to let him know his lunch was in the fridge, and to not be late for dinner

- sometimes, sometimes, he’d forget his lunch at home on purpose, just to pretend to be surprised when you stroll into his office, lunch bag in hand, much to the chagrin of his secretary, who would discreetly close the door behind you

- Erwin, who takes the time to go grocery shopping with you, because he genuinely cares and wants to hear you ramble about “that recipe you saw the other day”

- Erwin, who sheepishly rubs the back of his neck when you double check the fruit he picks, tossing back yet another one that had a very obvious soft spot on it

- Erwin, who sneaks snacks into the cart, not because he wants it, but because he knows you do

- Erwin, who swears he’s lost his mind when one night, in your fucked out babbling, calls him daddy, begging for him to go deeper, faster

- Erwin, who, god forbid, hears a tremor in your voice as you call him. As he asks you where you are, he can hear the beeping of a machine, and runs out of the office, breaking nearly every traffic law only to crush your body to his own on the sterile crunchy sheets of the hospital bed

- Erwin, who scolds you with tears in his eyes when he asks what happened, only to be interrupted by the doctor who walks in, a big smile on her face as she congratulates the both of you, because he was going to be a dad

- Erwin, who buys you lingerie on Valentine’s Day because it’s a present for you, and for him, and he’ll let you show off all your presents to him, parading around the house testing his patience

- Erwin, who will shower you with gifts because how could he ever repay you for all you do for him? Carrying around his child, to be without your favourite sushi and your beloved coffee.

- husband Erwin, who attends all the birthing classes and hospital tours with you, clipboard in hand to ask incessant questions, ensuring that his darling wife will be receiving the highest of quality of care during the pregnancy

- Erwin, who starts to choke on sobs as you’re screaming in the back seat of the car he is racing to the hospital, trying to keep calm as he reminds you to breathe, and that he’s so sorry for doing this to you

- Erwin, who is getting his hand nearly broken by your grip in the delivery room, nearly getting kicked out twice for yelling at the doctors to “Do something dammit!” because you were in so much pain

- Erwin, who the minute the baby is placed in his arms, starts to sob, turning to you in a mix of adoration and love, “You’ve worked so hard baby. Look how beautiful…your eyes, your smile….beautiful.”

- Erwin, who definitely won’t let you leave the house now, because all he can think about, is how much he misses the way you glowed, the way you waddled around the house, and the way you would place his hands around your belly, giggling as he peers at you wide-eyed, “was that a kick?”

Taglist (pls let me know if u want to be taken off/added! This is an 18+ list): @raabzyjan @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface @lostinwildflowers @daenerysdracarys @hiqhkey @messymanifestation @dontusethisproduct @annexerca @jean-prettyboy-kirschtein @peachysimp @lammello @deludedimagines @itspastellemons @flamingblinglove @galactict3a

#erwin x reader #erwin smith #erwin headcanons #snk imagine #aot x reader #snk x reader #Erwin x reader hc #suz.writes.

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calehenituse-brainrot · 2 years

Text

Coffee Stains

OG!Muscle Daddy Kim Rok Soo x Reader

Everyone genuinely feels like this hostile(?) atmosphere between Team Leader Kim Rok Soo and [Name] [Last Name] is going to last forever.

@calesleftboob as promised, i put muscle daddy krs there lol

i genuinely just want to write smut because of lily. we talked on twt too much about of krs and we strayed away from god's light with every message. so...

@bomiflower , as we have discussed...

WARNING: NSFW CONTENT BELOW. SMUTTTT. also KRS is ooc because i just want to write some action for him.

btw i'm gonna be out the whole day and wont be able to see everyone's messages after this🥲

"You should start on those, you know."

Everyone in the room immediately turned to look at Kim Rok Soo after hearing his voice. They see him walking past your desk as you sat there, sipping your coffee calmly while a stack of papers sitting on your desk.

"Get your nose out of my business, Rok Soo," you replied, not even turning around to face the man, keeping your eyes on the papers in front of you as if someone would snatch a handful of them at any moment.

Kim Rok Soo glanced back at you before continue walking to the break room, most likely going in to make himself some tea so he can enjoy it while working himself.

Everyone quietly went back to their respective work after seeing the two of you continue yours instead of immediately having a banter like usual.

Everyone had always wondered what exactly caused a rift to appear between you and the man, but you never disclosed anything personal to anyone and Kim Rok Soo himself always avoids talking about you in detail.

Kim Rok Soo never showed any hostility to you — it had always been your attitude that will incite some sort of chaos in the office, but never to the point that everyone else will be bothered by it. Everyone is baffled with your attitude towards the man considering you had always been someone kind.

Meanwhile, Kim Rok Soo had always been someone to look out for others, you yourself included despite not being his subordinate, but your attitude perhaps got even more hostile whenever he does.

'Well, she probably hates me,' he thought, heating up some water. 'I still don't know why, though.'

There was a reason why Kim Rok Soo was looking out for you.

You had been one of the people who were close with Lee Soo Hyuk, having been one of the people he saved before being assigned to a different team.

Despite being on a different team, you were always hanging out with the three of them, though you were distant with Kim Rok Soo due to his indifferent nature.

When the two died, you had been there beside him with a tired expression on your face, still wet with tears you had shed when you had been alone.

When he had looked at you that day, you returned his stare for a couple of seconds before looking back to the frames of Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo.

"I'm sorry."

He remembered saying those words to you once everyone had left. You stayed with him until late at night at the office even though you were tired and light-headed.

He was apologizing for returning alone.

You had glanced at him for a moment and clicked your tongue.

"What are you saying sorry? There's nothing to feel sorry for," you mumbled. "Being alive isn't a sin."

Kim Rok Soo remembered those words, storing them in his records along with so many images of you whenever you return injured from a hunt, apologizing to family members during the funerals of your deceased team members, and the way you'd slump on your desk whenever a hunt has gone wrong.

"They won't be happy to hear you say such a thing," you continued, packing up Choi Jung Soo's things. "Lift your chin up and just stay alive to remember them."

"Let's..." You heaved out a sigh. "Let's stay alive for them. To remember them."

Kim Rok Soo remembers your defeated face as you spoke those words. You didn't sound upbeat and positive — why would you? The people you both look up to had died — but instead, you sounded like being alive is the only choice you had now.

Which wasn't exactly wrong.

"You shouldn't forget to live for yourself, you know."

You flinched a bit at his voice, finally hearing him say a full sentence for the first time that day. Closing the box that were full of Choi Jung Soo's things, you smiled at him.

"I won't."

That was perhaps the last proper conversation that the two of you had after the two's deaths.

Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo had been the people that connected you and Kim Rok Soo together, though even when they were still alive, you and Rok Soo weren't close but not like this.

When they died, you strayed further away from him.

'Well, I can't force things,' Kim Rok Soo thought, pouring his tea into a mug he had taken out of a cupboard.

Though he may have seemed like he was brushing this issue like dust, he wasn't.

He was quite... disturbed with the fact that you hated him. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth every time he thought of it.

Lee Soo Hyuk had introduced you to Kim Rok Soo and asked the two of you to be friendly with each other since the two of you were around the same age.

You were a part of Kim Rok Soo's world when things were slightly better back then despite the two of you being distant with each other at that time. Either way, it didn't change the fact that he had lost so much people from that time and you were perhaps the last one to remain.

Seeing you so easily brush him away made him feel a bit bitter.

Watching you by the sidelines as you began to grow into an amazing individual — not that you weren't amazing before — was something he had choose to do as you no longer allow people from the past to get through you.

"Do you think Team Leader [Name] is single?"

Kim Rok Soo stopped stirring his tea for a moment

"Damn, you too?"

Kim Rok Soo glanced at the two men walking into the break room, both of them looking for food in the fridge as Kim Rok Soo focuses on his mug.

The one who had asked about whether you were single or not let out a laugh. "I mean, she's quite pretty, isn't she?"

Kim Rok Soo went back to stirring his tea. 'That's true.'

Beside being an outstanding individual, you were known for your mature and kind disposition to others — Kim Rok Soo not included — and those qualities of yours made you appear more physically appealing to everyone.

"I didn't know you liked older women."

"You have to try it out, man. They got so much more experience—"

Kim Rok Soo pulled out the spoon he was using and used it to click the rim of his mug several times, making sure the clink was as loud as it can be.

"Since when did the break room become a locker?" he asked out loud without turning his head, licking his spoon, and tasting the sweet tea. "What's with the locker room talk?"

"T-Team Leader—"

Kim Rok Soo turned around with his mug of tea in hand. "Next time, don't share your thoughts out loud. They're disturbing. Have some respect."

The tall man walked out of the break room and when he was about to turn to his desk, he bumped into someone.

"Oh, sorry—"

You stood in front of him, your button-up now drenched with a dark liquid that most likely came from the mug of coffee you were holding in your hand. You looked up at him, the frown on your face as you stared at him made him think you were going to tear him apart.

You turned around and walked away from him and he froze a bit, thinking about what he should do. You were angry at him and while he does not want to face your wrath, he knows he shouldn't just leave you be and not take responsibility.

'She'll probably hate me even more if I did that,' he thought. And then cursed when the realization hit him.

"Shit," he murmured, hurrying over to his desk and placing his mug down.

Everyone eyed the man as he cleaned up his desk as quickly as he could before he followed you down to the hall.

"[Name]," he called for you, seeing you walk hurriedly. "[Name]."

"You've done enough damage, Rok Soo," you gritted out. "Asshole."

For a moment, Kim Rok Soo was so shocked that he could've swore his brain stopped circuiting for a moment. He had known you for years and he had never once heard you cussed someone out with such distaste.

He questioned whether or not this much hatred you have for him was normal. How did he accept such an attitude when he had done nothing wrong to you?

He rushed over to you, grabbing you by the shoulder. "[Name]."

"Let me go, assh—"

You shut up when Kim Rok Soo pushed your shoulder and your back immediately hit the wall. His face was stoic and he looked down at you. "Was that necessary?"

"What?" You questioned. "Calling you an asshole?"

Kim Rok Soo frowned a bit. What had he ever done to you to invite this type of dislike from you? He usually would brush things off easily whenever people would call him names, but he can't stand it when it's from you.

"God, I nearly had a heart attack when I realized he was there, too."

Both you and Kim Rok Soo snapped up, hearing the same voice from the break room from the end of the hall. Kim Rok Soo looks around the hall for a moment and when his eyes landed on the door not far from the two of you, he grabbed your arm.

"What the—"

He opened the door and pulled you into the small room. He shuts the door as quietly as he could while you're frowning at him.

"What the hell? What did you do that for?" You asked, watching as the dark-haired man runs a hand through his hair before he turned to you.

"We're settling this for once and for all," he told you. "What did I do wrong?"

Your frown turned into a look of confusion. You gestured to the coffee stains on your shirt and then spoke with clear confusion, "You made me spill my coffee–?"

"No," he cuts you off. "No, that's not what I'm talking about."

You closed your mouth, now realizing what he was talking about.

"We've known each other for years and I can't recall a time where I've ever done something so horrid to you that would have you hate me this much," he started. "Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it. I want this hostile atmosphere between us to be over."

You stared at him for a few moments and then shake your head. "You're crazy. Let me out."

"[Name], I'm serious."

You stared at his reddish-brown eyes and his expression. He had always looked stoic, but the aura he was exuding this time was stifling. You looked around the room and hugged yourself, noticing that he had shoved you into a cramped janitor closet.

"Why did you pull me here...?" You complained instead of answering him, leaning back to the wall. "Gosh, was this really needed?"

"Yes," he answered you with no hesitation. "Tell me."

"Can't I change first?"

Kim Rok Soo suppressed the urge to let out a groan. He approached you quickly, considering his long legs and how cramped the closet was. When you're both nearly chest to chest, you looked up at him.

He stared into your [e/c] eyes. "You're not leaving until I get my answer."

The two of you held eye contact for a while and Kim Rok Soo tries to dig into his records to see whether or not has he seen you this close. He could smell the smell of the bitter black coffee that had stained your shirt and the faint smell of jasmine, most likely from your shampoo or soap.

He can feel how warm your body was despite not touching it.

"Fuck." You rubbed your face, averting your eyes first from the intense eye contact. He watched you seem to contemplate something before you lowered your hand and look back at him.

"You want your answer, right?" You asked him. He nodded silently.

"Fuck you, Rok Soo."

You stood on your tiptoes and placed a hand on his chest, leaning forward so your noses touch. Your other hand placed itself on the back of Kim Rok Soo's head and pushed it down so your lips can finally reach his.

You closed your lips as you moved your lips against his slightly chapped ones, tilting your head to the side and pressing your body to his.

You immediately pulled away and let go of him. "There you go, asshole."

Kim Rok Soo's eyes widened as he stared at you, his lips slightly apart. What the fuck?

Your face reddens and you immediately regretted what you had done in the heat of the moment. "Now let me leave."

You walked to the door and when you were about to turn the handle, Kim Rok Soo spoke, "Are you kidding me?"

He turned around to look at you with a disbelieving look on his handsome face. "[Name], are you fucking kidding me?"

"I'm sorry!" You exclaimed, letting go of the door handle. "I-I got too carried away! You can press charges if you want or whatever. I'll take the responsibility—"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? How does this answer my question?" He asked you again. "[Name], what the fuck was that?"

You stared at him, face red and [e/c] eyes swirling with bitterness. "I like you, you dumb asshole! Have been for the last few years!"

Kim Rok Soo nearly had a whiplash from how hard he had shaken his head out of shock. "What the fuck? But you hated me."

"Yeah, because you're an unapproachable bastard," you defended yourself. "I can't get close to you because you're literally so distant. I hated you because of all people to like, I somehow chose you."

"That--" Kim Rok Soo stopped talking for a moment and then let out a big sigh.

What the fuck? So you've liked him all this time? Was he blind all this time or did you just cover it up really nicely by hating him? More importantly, what does he feel about this situation?

Oddly enough, he doesn't mind it. It's a good boost for his confidence because he had always thought he was an average Korean man and to be liked by you felt like quite the compliment.

But does he return your feelings?

You who had turned quiet and were only looking at him waited patiently for his next words.

"[Name]," he finally spoke. "Can I try something?"

You blinked, a bit apprehensive. "Try what?"

Kim Rok Soo leaned toward you and you froze. What was he doing?

He raised one hand to cup your jaw and lean down to your face. He glanced at your eyes for a moment and his thumb caressed your face, asking for permission. You gulped and nodded.

Kim Rok Soo gently placed his lips on top of yours, moving them slowly against yours. Despite you tasting like the bitter coffee you had earlier, he does not pull away. Having your lips against his felt good and when he pulled you closer by your waist, he can feel the pounding of your heart and his own.

As corny as it was, Kim Rok Soo could feel it.

Sparks.

He could feel sparks as he brushes his lips against yours. The smell of roses from you was almost intoxicating and your lips were impossibly soft against his. Your body feels so perfect against his and he couldn't help but to hold you close and never let you go, craving the warmth of your body.

You placed your hands on his shoulder before slowly wrapping them around his scarred neck, returning his gentle kiss with your eyes closed. You press yourself against him, tugging at the hair at the base of his neck and then feeling his big hand squeezing your hip.

"Fuck," you murmured against his lips. Kim Rok Soo opened his eyes a bit -- when did he close them? -- to look at you. He can see your closed eyes and flushed face as you kiss him fervently.

When you bite onto his lips, he pulled away but he kept his arm around you to make sure you stay in your place. You opened your eyes, dazed and confused. "Wh-what's wrong?"

"I can't believe you acted that way because you liked me," he murmured, brushing his lips against your cheek and temple. "You could've just told me instead of making me think I did something wrong."

He gave you no chance to reply as he went back to kissing you. He squeezed your hips and then moved them to your back, pulling you closer to him. He traces his tongue along your lips and gently nibbles on your lower lip.

You opened your mouth, letting his tongue probe into your mouth. You let out a strangled moan when the tip of his tongue swirled around yours and Kim Rok Soo held you tighter when your knees nearly gave out from the stimulation.

He pushed you against the wall, causing a broom to fall over. He accidentally stepped on the broom, the wooden handle breaking underneath his weight. "Oh, fuck."

"Fuck that," you told him, pulling him to you again and opening your mouth for him. He kicked away the broken broom and shoved his tongue into you, beginning to explore your mouth using his tongue.

"R-Rok Soo," you whimpered, words slurring as Kim Rok Soo kept on swirling his tongue with yours. You sucked on his tongue gently and heard him let out a groan.

He pulled away from your mouth for a bit, kissing your lips once before going down to your jawline. You gripped at his shoulder, throwing your head back to give him more access.

"H-hah," you huffed as Kim Rok Soo kisses a spot underneath your ear. He placed light kisses here and there before his tongue began to lick up several spots that had you writhing a bit in his arms.

"Rok Soo," you called for him, feeling his tongue swirl on a spot before he placed his lips on it, sucking and nibbling on your skin. "Hahh, fuck."

"Mhm." The man hummed on your skin, hands going up to your ribs. "Can I touch you here?"

"Yes," you whispered. "Yes, please."

You used one hand to start unbuttoning your stained shirt, sighing in relief when Kim Rok Soo helped you to take off the sticky shirt completely.

Your hands went to your back, taking off the clasp of the bra you had on and letting him tug the straps from your shoulders and let the bra fall to the floor. He stared at your naked chest and placed his large hand on the underside of your breast, massaging them gently.

You bit your lip when his coarse fingertips pinched on your nipple, pulling and rolling them to his heart's content.

"I can kiss them, right?" He murmured, lips pressed against your cheek and placing soft kisses every now and then. You nod your head, closing your eyes and letting out a sigh when you feel him grind his bulge against your damp pussy. "P-please do whatever you want."

Kim Rok Soo kissed your jaw lovingly. "I won't disappoint you, Team Leader."

He lowered his lips to your breast, wrapping his lips against your nipple and sucking on them as his other hand is busy massaging your other tit. You run a hand through his hair when you feel his tongue swirling around your nipple before he caught it with his teeth, pulling on them which resulted in you hissing.

He'd move his lips around your areola, kissing and sucking on the soft skin there to leave hickeys that no one would ever see. As he switched to the other breast, your hand went down to his crotch, palming the growing bulge he had.

"F-fuck." He bit onto a spot on your breast, sucking on them before pulling away to look down at you.

"I want you," you murmured, staring at him with lust-filled [e/c] pools, one hand palming him and the other one pulling on his belt. "I want you in my mouth. Can't I do that?"

Kim Rok Soo's face reddens hearing you speak like that. He let out a shaky breath before kissing you again, his hand going down to take off his belt. He pulled down his pants and you tugged on his boxer briefs, pulling them down. You flinched when his cock sprung out, semi-hard but its size already intimidating you.

"Y-you're big," you blurted out, looking down at his erection with wide eyes. You gulped a bit, trying to imagine what it would be like to have him inside of you.

"Not your thing?" Kim Rok Soo asked in a low voice, kissing your jaw and making more hickeys around your neck.

"Bastard," you mumbled, wrapping your fingers around his thick shaft and began pumping them.

"Hahh, shit," he groaned out against your neck, frowning as he suppressed the loud groans that were about to leave his lips. He bit onto your shoulder as your hand began to quicken its pace until he was hard and a bit of pre-cum leaking out of his slit.

You kissed his neck before kneeling down in front of him. Kim Rok Soo looked down at you, topless and covered with hickeys and his saliva. He activated his Records, keeping this image forever ingrained in his mind.

His eyes went from your bruised lips, your neck that had a slight sheen from his saliva and covered with hickeys, your naked chest that was moving up and down, and your fingers around his cock.

You kissed the tip of his cock as he tucked a few strands of your hair behind your ears. Looking up at him, you opened your mouth and wrapped those pretty lips around the mushroom head. Kim Rok Soo lets out a grunt and as much as he wants to throw his head back and close his eyes to enjoy the moment, he couldn't.

He kept his eyes on you as you kept yours on him, recording every second of this moment.

You moved your tongue up and down his slit which had his breath hitch before you swirl your tongue around the head. Kim Rok Soo placed his hand to the back of your head, pushing your head to take more of him.

You let out a moan as you slobber all over him, fucking your throat with his cock. You'd pull back a few times to take a breath and the way Kim Rok Soo would cup your face with his palm and caress your jaw with his thumb had you eager to continue.

He watched as you rub your flushed face against his cock with a hazy smile, his body running hot as he records that image. That alone had him nearly coming and he let out a groan when your hands came up to massage his balls.

He places both hands into the back of your head and moved his hips while also guiding you down on him, fucking your throat slow and deep. His breath labored and he grunts when he could feel your saliva running down to his boxers.

He lets out a snarl as he fights to keep his eyes open and trained on you, his lashes nearly fluttering close when he felt your throat spasming around him in tight, wet heaving gulps. He bit his lips, reminding himself that the two of you were still in the office and were going at it in the janitor's closet.

Tears started appearing in your eyes and running down your cheek. Your hands stopped massaging his balls and instead were gripping at his muscled thighs. When he came, he grinds his hips deeper into your throat, spurting hot fluid down your throat and you swallowed every single drop.

"Ohh, fuck," he cursed as he feels you swallow, throat moving around his cock.

When he finally lets you go and you pulled away from his cock, you wiped your mouth that was slobbering with saliva and some of his cum. You looked up at him, watching him take deep breaths to control his breathing.

"S-shit," he cursed again, gathering himself to try and not jump on you immediately. "Come and give me a kiss, pretty."

Your face reddens and your eyes twinkle at the nickname. You do as he said, kissing him with a smile on your face. When you pulled away, his hand dug into his back pocket and took out a handkerchief.

You looked at his face as he wiped the tears and saliva away from your face, his hand touching your jaw as he does so.

"Did I do good?" You asked and Kim Rok Soo frowned, "Why are you asking? Of course, you did. I'd like to pay you back for it."

You gave him a smile, unbuttoning your pants and leaning to the wall. You let them fall to the floor along with your underwear before stepping out of them, watching Kim Rok Soo kneeling down and looking up at you.

"Put your leg here, baby," he said, moving your left leg to dangle over his shoulder.

You let out the sweetest sigh Kim Rok Soo had ever heard when he kisses your leaking pussy. He hums, running a thick finger through your sopping wet folds. You covered your own mouth and Kim Rok Soo thought to himself that it was a damn shame the two of you weren't in his apartment right now where he could make you scream and turn you into a mess.

He kissed your thigh before pushing his face against your pussy, tongue pressing against your clit and finger slipping into your cunt. You let out a yelp and could feel the twitch of his lips moving upwards before he began to flick his tongue against your clit.

"O-oh, Rok Soo," you murmured warmly, running a hand through his hair as he looks up at you, Record working as he memorized your expression. "Oh, please, please, please..."

Kim Rok Soo opened his mouth, gliding his tongue along your folds before sucking your clit. You gripped at his hair, letting out a quiet moan when he nibbled on your clit and pulled on it.

"R-Rok Soo, I'm gonna cum," you mewled, feeling another digit of his finger entering you before the began to pump them in and out -- his other hand gripping at your hip.

He laps at your arousal, lips moving against your folds as he ate you out like a starved animal. His tongue was exploring your cunt, fervently savoring the taste of you as he pumps his fingers in and out to push out more of your slick, groaning in approval when you began to squirm underneath his grip.

When he slid his tongue down your slit and wrapped his lips around your cunt, your knees nearly gave up on you. "Rok Soo, baby, ohh..."

You feel his tongue swirling around your hole and nearly missed the heavy breaths he was letting out as he does so. You arched your back as you lean to the wall while Kim Rok Soo continued his onslaught on your cunt. His skin felt hot against yours and with every movement of his tongue against your cunt, you could feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm.

You nearly let out a yelp when he pushes his tongue inside of you, the wet muscle lapping at your insides. Your legs were trembling and when Kim Rok Soo's thumb began to circle your clit, you eventually tip over the edge and came, letting out a low whine as your body twitch underneath his hold.

He lapped up your cum, letting out a low growl as he continued licking and sucking on your cunt as you squirmed. "R-Rok Soo, stop..."

He wrapped his lips against your clit and licked up the length of your slit before pulling away from you, a string of your cum connecting his lips and your cunt. He licked his lips, staring up at you who were trying to breathe properly. He kissed your thigh, rubbing your shaky thigh as you try to gather your bearings.

"You okay?" He asked you.

You nodded, gulping. "Y-yes."

He removed your leg from his shoulder, standing up to his full height. He buried his face to your neck, placing butterfly kisses there. You leaned to him, nuzzling your cheek to his jaw and humming as he lift your leg again, pushing his erect cock against your cunt.

"You smell nice," Kim Roo Soo commented, letting your cunt coat his cock with your slick.

You wrapped a hand around his shoulders, humming. "I smell like sex and sweat, Rok Soo."

"Mhm, exactly why I said that." He kissed your jaw. He pulled away from tou before pushing his cock into you.

You gasped, eyes rolling into the back of your head as his thick cock filled you up. His broad chest was pressed against your tits as he pushed into you. You could feel him up to your stomach and the stretch was borderline painful, his tip continuously pressing to your G-spot.

"Y-you're 's big," you slurred, mewling when Kim Rok Soo began to move his hips.

"Ssh, don't let the others hear you," he murmured, picking you up by your thighs and wrapping them around his waist. You placed your hand on his shoulders, throwing your head back and letting him to kiss your neck.

He grabs you by your ass, guiding you to move on his cock as he kiss and suck on your neck. You can feel every bulging vein he had on his cock and the slight curve on his dick made it much more pleasurable.

"R-Rok Soo—!" You moaned out and immediately swallowed your words when he slammed you to the wall, one hand leaving your ass to cover your mouth.

"Ssh," he shushes you, now his hips moving to fuck his cock into your cunt. "They'll hear you."

"Let's get this done quick," he added, pressing his hand to your mouth more before he moved his hips quickly, pumping his cock in and out of you in a pace that had you squirming and writhing, pain and pleasure mixed into something that has you curling your toes and tears running down your cheeks, wetting his hand.

"R-Rok Soo—" You slurred underneath his palm, sniffling as he fucks your pussy, the sound of skin meeting skin everytime his crotch meet yours only driving you to the edge, more slick dripping out of you and wetting his boxer briefs.

"F-fuck—" Kim Rok Soo nearly let out a whine when your walls throbs around him, sucking him in the best they could despite being so slippery due to your previous endeavours. "You're so warm, [Name], so good for me."

"You like to be filled with my cock, right?" He continued, hand still covering your mouth. You feel your abdomen began to contract, something pooling to the bottom of your stomach, ready to burst.

"You like it when I fuck you like this, yeah?" He murmured, voice husky and breathy, his cock pumping in and out of your slippery hole. "Maybe I should just let you scream for me here. Let those guys know I'm fucking you inside some old closet. What do you think, huh?"

You shook your head, moans muffled underneath his palm. Your legs were trembling and when you came, your whole body limps on top of Kim Rok Soo.

"Done already?" He questioned you, hips still moving and you whine, the overstimulation stinging and your abdomen quickly contract again. "One more time for me, baby."

Despite still being muffled, you still spoke. "R-Rok Soo, please, I'm going to—"

You let out a gasp when Kim Rok Soo slammed his hips to you as hard as he could and you immediately came again, squirting a bit when you did so..

"Come on, come on," he murmured, quickening his pace. "Give me more, [Name]."

"Rok Soo—!" You mewled, helpless as he try to chase his own release.

"Fuck, I'm close, [Name]," he grunted, pressing himself closer to you, a ring of white now gathering at the base of his cock and some of your fluids running down his balls. He removed his hand and placed them back on your ass, guiding you to his cock as deep as he could. "Can — hahhh, shit, shit — can I come in you?"

You squeezed your eyes shut, nodding your head. Kim Rok Soo slapped your ass and you gasped at the sting. "Use your words, [Name]. Can I come in you?"

"P-please," You moaned, sniffling as you buried your nails into his shoulders. "Please come in me."

Kim Rok Soo groaned at your words. "Give me a kiss, pretty."

You pressed your lips to his, dazed and delirious. Kim Rok Soo quickens his pace as he shared a heated kiss with you, swallowing your moans and whines as you began to twitch and tremble.

"Mhmm, ahh, Rok Soo," you moaned against his lips. "I'm coming, please, please—"

"With me, [Name]," he whispered. "Come with me. You can do it."

You curled your toes when you felt the pressure on your abdomen began to build up higher and higher. When you finally came, you felt Kim Rok Soo bursting into you.

"Ahh, hahh," he huffed, slowing his pace before he completely stop.

You fell limp within his hold, head on his broad shoulder. "R-Rok Soo..."

"Sshhh," he murmured, pulling out of you slowly and letting his cock out, covered with both of your cum.

Your cunt began to leak out your mixed fluids and dripped down to the floor. "Fuck," you murmured. "I don't think I can walk."

Kim Rok Soo gulped and let out a quiet chuckle. "Fuck."

#respectfully #idk how to end this #i didnt think this through #it's four am here #i need some rest #but og krs tho LMAOO #trash of the count's family #totcf #cale henituse #lout of the count’s family #tcf cale #cale henituse x reader #x reader #kim rok soo #kim rok soo x reader #kim rok soo smut #cale henituse smut #lout of count's family #muscle daddy krs

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bitsandbobsofwriting · 2 years

Note

Merlin/Lancelot domestic life hc?

Aww🥺

Chaos. To put it simply. Everyone thinks Merlin is nuts and Lance is soft and gentle because they forget that Lancelot, despite being all about honour and honesty, was 10/10 ready to commit himself to a lifetime of identity fraud after 1 (one) cute twink stared at him with puppy eyes.

They spend so little time together during the day because of their jobs, so everyone is super confused at how they know EVERYTHING about what the other is doing?? Arthur will casually imply he hasn't seen Merlin in a few hours, and Lance, without missing a beat, will say "he's in the lower town shopping for Gaius." Everyone is baffled because... Lancelot has been with them the whole time?? Leon will quietly, to himself, wonder how long until the most recent border patrol gets back, and Merlin, without looking up from the paperwork he's filling in for Arthur, will mutter "they've just reached the city's outer wall, they'll be back in about a half candle mark, depending how long it takes them to untack." Lance is on that patrol, sure, but how did he know?? Merlin and Lance are talking constant shit in each other's heads, that's how. Gwaine once jokingly calls it a lovers' intuition and... Merlin and Lance are terrible at coming up with excuses so... yeah, sure, lovers' intuition it is.

According to google they're the same height, so cheek kisses/chin kisses/shoulder kisses, every single time they see each other no matter what. Even if they're both in a terrible hurry and just pass each other in the corridor. They're not big on general PDA, especially when they're around other people, but they do sort of gravitate to one another. When they're with the knights/Arthur/people from Camelot, Merlin always finds himself stood slightly behind Lance. When he first realised this he was like "oh my Gods I really was born to be a servant I see a Sir and I put myself behind him without even realising wtf." but then Lance is all "...no Merlin, you numpty, I put myself in front of you because you're a godamn wizard in the middle of the we-hate-wizards Kingdom." and Merlin tears up a bit. BUT when they're in the lower town or out in the forest, it's the other way round. Merlin doesn't have to worry so much because people are far less likely to notice if he has to do some magic to protect his hunky bf.

Just like they aren't really into PDA, I feel like pet names and endearments don't crop up very often either. Very VERY occasionally a "my love" will slip out but like... only if one of them has almost died or they haven't seen each other in a few days. Mostly it's just "Merls" and "Lance". When Merlin is feeling particularly teasing, he'll call Lancelot "Loverboy" and he goes fucking RED, and he’ll mutter something about being "technically older than you so YOU'RE the boy except you're not actually a boy because that would be... never mind. Shut up."

The others think the relationship is super sweet, and in the early days both of them got really blushy if anyone mentioned it, but later on it's only Lancelot. Merlin stops caring what people think really quickly (it's not that Lance cares, he's just easily flustered), because Lance is basically the only wholly good thing in his life, so unless anyone says something genuinely bad about him/the relationship, it doesn't bother him at all. To be honest, I feel like no one figured it out for like... six months?? And it's not because they hid it, it's just because they'd always been fairly affectionate anyway, and everyone else is stupid.

When they move in together, Merlin tries to demand he just moves into Lancelot's knight room to make things easier, but Lance insists that isn't fair on Merlin and they get a little house in the upper town instead. It's not posh or anything, it just needed to be close to the castle. Neither of them have many belongings anyway, so everything starts off really neat and tidy, but once the novelty of having their own space sets in, it fills up with shit so quickly. Lance is always buying Merlin books and silly shelf trinkets and Merlin is always buying Lance clothes and weapons. Of course they have a whole room dedicated to healing, because A) They both have quite dangerous jobs/destinies and are always hurt, and B) If for whatever reason the Physician's chambers are full (be it sickness, or an attack, etc), Merlin wants to be able to help. It's the ONLY room in the house that's tidy. As for cooking, I feel like they're both pretty good? Merlin is better at throwing something together from nothing, probably from patrols in the wilderness and life in Ealdor, but Lance is better at putting together a significant meal when they have proper ingredients.

Hunith ADORES Lance, and honestly that makes Merlin so ridiculously happy, UNTIL she starts sharing embarrassing childhood stories. But Lancelot more than makes up for it by telling the two of them the trouble he used to get into as a child.

People though that once the truth came out about the magic and everything is legalised and Merlin is promoted, things would get better/more tolerable. They do not. They pull more pranks, they team up against everyone else and it's chaos. Gwaine had pink hair for a week. Leon started speaking in a French accent. They stole every single one of Arthur's left shoes. BUT they are also one HELL of a power couple in court, always ready to team up to bully an arsehole councilman or stand up for things or scare people. They're not even really aware of it, but Gwen catches on really quickly and demands that Arthur start seating them together during council meetings (originally he had Merlin on one side, Gwen on the other, and Lancelot was further round the table somewhere in amongst the knights) because she knew if they (the non arseholes) wanted anything done, Merlin and Lancelot could push it through.

I hope this is enough for you anon!! I love this and I love YOU!!!

#bbc merlin #mercalot #merlin/lancelot #lancelot #sir lancelot #merlin #send requests #send asks #asks #requests #bbc merlin headcanon

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a-very-tired-raven · 3 years

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Hello there! I just read your Swatch x Reader headcanons and was wondering Could i possibly get a Spamton x Reader where Spamton is just totally confused on if the Reader genuinely loves him or if its just some sales pitch. Hes been my comfort character for a while so it'd be nice :>

thank you for reading my silly request :]

Hiya broski! Sorry this took a bit to answer! I didn't really know how to approach this ask. I'm new to fics so I needed to take a bit to prepare so I would know how to write this and to get into the lil man's head if that's alright! Hope you enjoy my dude and remember to lemme know if anythings wonky!

●True Intentions ●

"Here you go sir, your order?" He gave a polite nod to the server "Yes thank you." They gave a small smile and walked away. He took a small sip of his drink as he returned to his thoughts. Spamton was....confused to say the least. He met you about a week ago in the alleyway of his shop.

You'd been looking for your pet or something and tried to dig in a garbage bin....Which was actually his shop. That was locked. He just got back with some goods thst he got a nice deal on and all he saw was some stranger pulling on the lock to his shop. He angerly poked on your waist to see what you were up to.

"What are you doing?!"You jumped and awkwardly explained what it was you were doing when he demanded to know what you were up to.

"I uh..lost my pet..I thought I seen her go off this way?" Of course he was still skeptical but put his goods up and helped you look.

Eventually you two did find what you were looking for and you thanked him more times then we could count. Right before you left is when you started the confusion. You awkwardly asked for his number, and when asked why you nervously shrugged and said he was nice and you thought he was cute. Which absolutely baffled him

When was the last time someone complemented him? Let alone ask for his number and want to spend more time again. He accepted of course and didn't think anything of it.

He started thinking about it when he ran into you almost every day for the rest of the week. Everytime you saw him you were thanking him,and trying your best to make small talk.

This included asking him questions, like what did he do for a living,how many sales has he made,what's the biggest deal he's made. All if which he's awkwardly responded to with vague and short answers. This made him even more suspicious. Whyd you wanna know so much about his job and deals?

He hasn't seen you since everyone's moved to the dark town. Maybe he wouldn't see you again. If there's a whole 'nother dark world who's to say there's not more? Maybe you were somewhere else.

The smell of pastries pulls him out of his thoughts a little. Banana nut he thinks. He does admit you are kinda cute.. which brings him to the present. Why him? It's pretty well known he's a business man.

A horrible one at that. He only Ever gets people's attention when they want to get a deal or a-a..a sales pitch...

His fists clench. Of course. Why else would you go after someone like him? You just wanna make a sales pitch. Nothing more then that. You could of just said so. You didn't have to barge in his life like that and lead him on all for the sake of a deal. It all makes sense now!

Who makes small talk like that??? About deals,and sales...why was that the first question to asked? Why not start off with basic small talk?? Why be interested in him? Why him? Why'd you need to know what his biggest sale and deal was! Of all the people...You just wanted a good deal...

He doesn't hear the distant chime of the Cafe bell. He just angrily glares daggers at his own reflection. It wasn't until a shy familiar voice spoke pointedly in his direction did he force his head out of the clouds.

"Hey Spamton! I uhm.. how are you doing today?" You give a soft smile and take a seat in front of him. "I'm fine" He looked the other way. "Um.. " You glance at the window. You look at his order. "Ohh number 7! That's a good one. Moonberry fudge and a gram apple muffin. Nice." You give a soft smile.

He just remains quiet. You seem a little anxious by now. "..weather's nice huh?.." with only a human for a response you start brimming with anxiety. You try a different approach. "I had a good day at work! We didn't have any rude people.." You look at him.

"Uh how about you? How's work? You made any good sales today?" He looks up at you with a harsh glare. "Wouldn't you like to know!" You flinch and your happy aura quickly forms into an apologetic one.

"I-..im-im sorry..I didn't mean to ask anything sensitive.." You give a sorry look. "I didn't did i?" You look down at your hands. Spamtion hesitates for a moment. No.. He..He cant hesitate. He stands up.

"Yes. Yes you did impose. You imposed in my life acting all kind when I know what you really want." You have the audacity to look confused. "What are you talking about?." He ignores you and heads towards the exit. "Spamton? Spamton wait! Please..I just wanna kno-"

Your conversation fades to the back of his mind as he exists the Cafe and heads towards his house. He should have know better. That way it wouldn't have hurt as bad... He gives a soft wave to a wherewire and keeps walking. After a little bit he stops walking immediately when he feels I small tap on his shoulder.

He turns. "What?!" You give a hurt expression and focus on your hands. "I um..I just wanted to apologize for imposing.. I didn't know you didn't like talking about that" He rolls his eyes. "Just leave me alone already. It's pretty obvious you just want to talk business." Confusion crosses your face once more.

"What? What are you talking about?" His fists clench again. "Aw stop playing dumb already! It's pretty obvious you don't like me, Your just after a good deal or you want a chance at being some big shot with a sales pitch!" He didn't realize he was yelling.

Your practically cowering at this point. "I-what! No-No I'm not! Please believe me I really do like you.. I don't even know how to do business like that!" You have your hands up in front of you as if a policeman had pulled you over.

He falters for a moment. He looks back up again when you speak up. Sorta. "Please..is there anything I can do to make you believe me..." You say just barely above a whisper. He just remains quiet. After a moment of shared silence you were fed up.

"Fine then! I'll prove I'm crazy for you! Absolutely bonkers! You hear?!" You grab both his shoulders, "H-Hey! Put me down!" And yank him up and plant a big kiss on his cheek. "Now will you please go on a date with me?!"

Your face is absolutely covered top to bottom with a beautiful shade of red. Both from anger and embarrassment.After a moment of silence you awkwardly drop him. "S-sorry.." you hide your face in the neck if your shirt.

His cheeks are burning a bright peachy color. "Um..it's alright" after a small beat of silence he adds "yes."

You look back down at him. "Yes what??" You look confused. "...yes I'll go on a date with you.." He doesn't think anyone who'd want some deal would go that far. He believes you now and he says so.

Your quiet for a moment. A small smile works its way on your face. "Alrighty come on, I know just the place" you give a small wink and grab his hand dragging him off to who knows where. "W-what now?!" He gives a baffled expression as he tries to keep up.

You turn and look down again "yes now silly! I gotta make sure you belive me 100!" percent!. "A-alright then..." maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all...

ISNSJSS God that was a lot! And toughie! I enjoyed it tho!

#ravenwrites #raven writes #spamton #spamton deltarune #spamton x reader #reader x spamton #spamton dr #dr spamton #i hope this wasnt that bad #i tried lol #edgy answers

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oro-e-diamanti · 3 years

Text

Quiet Music: Poco a poco forte

In collaboration with @bethanysnow (whose askbox is always open!)

Jealousy was never a good look with stardust in the other’s eyes. Boundaries are tested. Fantasies are made hot and heavy with some alcohol. Will they make it back to the hotel all in one piece?

Content | Fluff

Pairing | fem!Reader x Damiano

Word Count | 5845

Taglist | @damianodavide @lizstans @unitersmoonshine @its-afucking-mess @ethaneskin @dont-let-me-drown-in-you @vampirtet @lividisuigomiti @juststalking @tabi-toast @ethan-torchio-angelo @cheese-toastie-11 @thewitchinthemountain @ethanesimp @sofckinelectric @man3skin @daddydamiano @finelinejpm @superchrystaldrug @ginny-lily @nientedaridere @rainbowmarta @tiaamberxx @shaunthesheesh @enjcltaire @rocketqueen @aleksanderwh0r3 @damianodavidhands @megann-duff @teatrodellavita @coven-daddy @till-you-scream-and-cry @solasullabarca @fanfictionandfluff @makapaka11 @slave4yourlove @geklutst-ei @marriedwithmarktuan @bookish0918 @mehrmonga @kanevill @butterfly-skinnylegend @lidiyabest @killerqueen1985 @ccweasley @bluscryn @deluxeplanteater @ohtorchio @messyhairday-me @bidet-and-legolas @maybanksslut @fuckim-so-gay @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @petit-poussin @fedorable-killjoys @luvbadass @buttercup-beeee @navs-bhat @etaerealboyv @tryymebitch @mell-bell @fenhakwe @solacestyles @softforlukescurls @vicsangel @theimpossiblehologramtree

***

Copenhagen was a whirlwind that barely left any time to breathe. Even the short break Y/n was granted in between was promptly used to make a dash for the nearest tourist shop. Adding a fridge magnet to her growing collection. No misses so far. She’d be lying if she wasn’t proud of it. Victoria gave a little tour through the city, giving ample opportunity to provide the fans with content via various social media platforms. A mad scramble back to the venue, soundcheck, dinner. A gig full of little mishaps, including Ethan losing a drumstick halfway through and Damiano almost tumbling off stage. At least the crew had gotten into a groove, ‘new tour’ jitters finally forgotten. That night, at the hotel, Y/n had found herself standing outside her door, empty ice bucket in hand. Somewhat wondering, hoping, someone would join her. Not just anyone. Him. But she wouldn’t knock on his door and he didn’t come to hers. It wasn’t to be. At least not that night.

The morning had brought the band another wake-up call from Y/n. Everyone was starting to settle into their routine. Get ready, get on the bus, get handed coffee by Y/n. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t enjoying this little comfort of domestic bliss, taking care of the people she was starting to consider friends. It felt right.

***

Damiano’s morning wasn’t quite as peaceful. His thoughts were plagued by images of Y/n. His decision to ‘cool it’ and back off a little seemed to be biting him in the arse. When she had come around to wake him up, she had been in a partially sheer blouse, black jeans and boots and he thought she looked like the perfect little alternative housewife. Luring him out of bed with the promise of coffee and breakfast. Now he was sitting on the couch on the bus, watching Y/n fly around the little kitchenette and he couldn’t keep his eyes off her bum in those jeans.

Nope, he wasn’t going to do anything about it. Not now. The conversation with Victoria two nights ago was still ringing in his head. He had decided she was right - no use in pursuing anything unless he was certain what he was feeling and what he wanted out of it. He would still have enough time to make his move once he figured it out. Right? He didn’t know what Y/n was thinking. Or what she thought of him, so no use dwelling on it. Still the thought struck him, he barely knew anything about her. He should probably talk to her more. Infallible logic, he thought to himself. Backing off and talking to her at the same time. Great.

“Y/n… how do you usually take your coffee, by the way?”

“Lots of creamer, usually. Sometimes a bit of sugar, if I’m feeling fancy. Or if I’m feeling really fancy at a café, I might get a caramel macchiato.”

“Caramel is always nice.” Of course, she would like caramel, he thought to himself. “Do you normally drink coffee or are you more or stereotypical British tea drinker?”

“I enjoy a cuppa when I’m home, definitely. Italians aren’t exactly known for their tea now, are they?” A smirk appeared on her face, maybe a little baffled by the conversation, but happy to humour him. “Lady Gray is a particular favourite. Followed by breakfast tea with some sugar and milk. Before coffee. I can make you some tea sometime if you fancy?”

“That’d be great. You know, I just had an amazing idea actually,” Damiano grinned. “When we first went to Berlin, there was this amazing tea shop - would you want to go when we have the gig there?”

“That sounds lovely,” Y/n replied. “Of course.”

Another step closer to getting to know her.

***

“Right, we’ve all got an hour until soundcheck and some press things, I’m gonna go take Chili on her walk, you lot do whatever you want until then.”

Y/n had expected a few non-committal grunts, a wave, maybe a “see you later, I’ll go have a nap”, but instead, the whole band seemed to be on their highest energy levels. All of them immediately scrambled to their feet, looking for shoes and jackets, proclaiming they wanted to see the city, maybe take some pictures for Instagram along the way. Y/n wouldn’t dare complain about the company.

It didn’t take them long to reach the harbour, walking along the river as they enjoyed the bustle of town and the view. Y/n found herself pulling out her phone, telling everyone to gather around her.

“I’m no photographer, but I do need some memories of all of this. Thomas, stop pulling that face!” Thomas quickly dropped the grimace as she took the picture, the historic old town in the background. Chili was busy running around between the five of them, loving whoever gave her the attention the most. Y/n thought Victoria was reaching for the leash, already preparing to hand it over, but instead the bassist grabbed her hand. Obviously in a giddy mood, she began swinging their intertwined hands between them as they walked. Y/n couldn’t bite back a smile. She had missed having a close friend ever since she had moved to Italy leaving her best friend behind in the UK and she felt like this blossoming friendship with Victoria could truly begin to fill the void in her heart.

The blonde girl pulled her into a deep hug as Chili decided to go bother Ethan instead.

“I want a photo with just you,” Vic explained, pulling out her own phone for a snapshot. Y/n complied with a sigh but wrapped her arms around her, ready to take the picture. Right as the click went off, Victoria pressed a kiss to her cheek, taking her by surprise. Neither of them could hold back a giggle at her face in the photo.

“I’ve got a surprise for you, by the way,” Y/n spoke up as a little break in the conversation offered itself. If only to distract from the affection and it worked perfectly. All eyes and ears on her. “I’ve booked a little dinner for tonight. But not just any dinner. A burlesque one!”

The group let out various cheers. Thomas immediately ran ahead of the group, shamelessly faking a striptease as they kept walking. Damiano made sure to record the performance, already giggling to himself. Thomas was in the middle of shrugging off his jacket, walking backwards, when - ouch! - he bumped into a pole, heavily bonking his head. Everyone erupted into hysterical laughter, and after rubbing the back of his head with a pour for a moment, even the guitarist joined in.

“You alright?” Y/n asked breathlessly, trying to hide the giggles in her voice, genuinely concerned about him still.

“Besides the fact that I just got all of you to drop your panties for me? I’m great!” The blond grinned at his own joke, as everyone else rolled their eyes.

“Yes! Oh my god, take me Thomas!” Damiano gasped dramatically, pushing himself up against Thomas, who grabbed onto his leg to dip him.

“Wait! Hold on!” Y/n shouted, once again grabbing her phone as the captured the moment. “Now that’s one for the fridge.”

***

Backstage was business as usual. Y/n once again took the time to watch the band soundcheck, always feeling soft looking at the way they played without having to be ‘on’, without putting on a big performance. Yet, she was still in work mode, phone displaying the name of a reporter she was waiting on, along with the name of the magazine she was working for. It didn’t take long for her to appear.

The woman was undeniably beautiful. Thin figure, long, red hair, picture perfect makeup. Even her clothes were pressed, luxury brands decorating her, adding to the pristine image. A press pass hung around her neck, acrylic nails tapping something into her phone. Leaning back, Y/n noticed the particular red leather on the bottom of the woman’s heels.

It was only after putting her phone away that she acknowledged Y/n at all.

“Anywhere I can sit down with the band?” Her eyes barely even met Y/n’s.

“Uh, yeah, once they’re done with soundcheck, they will be in the greenroom,” Y/n said, mustering the woman. “You the reporter?”

“Sure, sure. Can I go there now, sit down, get ready?”

Y/n studied the press pass on the woman’s neck, making sure she was actually the person they were looking for and shrugged. “Alright, follow me.”

She led the reporter further backstage. The greenroom was fitted with a couch and a couple of chairs, a vanity in front of the mirror and makeup already carelessly thrown around. A costume rack in the back.

“Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks,” the woman muttered, looking around the room, obviously dissatisfied with it’s slightly chaotic state and - probably - lack of style. “That’s all I need you for, then.”

Y/n’s eye twitched, busying herself with the clothes, reorganising them to distract herself.

“Sorry to disappoint you, but rules are rules. Can’t be in a room alone, privacy reasons and all that. I’m sure you understand.”

“Well then.” She carefully placed herself on one of the chairs, highly aware of her posture, her face, and the fact that she’d be right in view of everybody entering the room. “Maybe you can be a bit of help, then. You know, a little insider information between us girls… How into the whole, you know, rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle are they really? I’m talking, drugs, alcohol… groupies?”

It was no question as to what she was hinting at.

“Well, Damiano has a whole tattoo verifying that he hates parties. Plus, they’re not really known for that kind of stuff. And for the interview, I’d rather you stick to the approved questions that your magazine has discussed with our management. There’s no ‘insider information’ here -” Y/n was about to talk herself into a whole rant, when the door opened and the band moved into the room, joyous and hyped for the show that evening.

Victoria was the first to bounce over to Y/n, kissing her cheek, before collapsing on the couch next to her. Ethan, Thomas and Damiano followed suit. Chili had followed the band, now hopping onto the couch and making herself comfortable on Y/n’s lap. Ethan looked over at the reporter, brow raised. “You here to do the interview?”

“Oh you know it,” she winked. Y/n didn’t miss how her whole demeanour had changed and she couldn’t have been more annoyed. “Lovely to meet you all.”

She held out her hand to Ethan, the smirk never leaving her face, before greeting the others in a similar fashion. She held onto Damiano’s hand much longer than the others.

“Nice to meet you,” Damiano said, politely, sitting down as well.

“Oh, that’s no trouble at all,” she beamed at the singer. “Now, you’re here in Hamburg today, and in the part of town most notorious for having Europe’s largest red light district. Do you feel like that’s the perfect background for your gig tonight? You know, with the music you play and the way you dress - it’s not like you’ve been shy about sex in your career so far.”

They all chuckled slightly.

“Well, sexuality isn’t something to be ashamed about, at least we don’t think so. It’s part of everyday life and part of our own experiences so we put that into music,” Victoria eloquently explained. “And what we’ve seen of the city so far has been very beautiful.”

“Well, maybe I should give you a little tour then, show you the naughty parts of town,” she laughed. “Back on topic though, I imagine touring can be hard, being away from everyone. Do you ever get lonely on tour? For friends or… something else?”

Damiano coughed. “Sure, we get lonely, like anyone else would. But we make a family out of the crew. Everyone on our team is very close to us.” Y/n could clearly see in his eyes that he knew full well what the woman was hinting at. “We love touring, so when you love something, it doesn’t feel like work.”

Ethan nodded in agreement. Y/n could see through all of them easily - none of them wanted to be there.

“Yes, of course, touring can be difficult, but we have fun, so not that bad,” Thomas added.

Y/n didn’t miss the way the reporter briefly looked over her shoulder to muster a reaction from her. “Well I’m sure you’re easily able to find some fun away from your… crew. Lots of parties on tour so far?”

At that point, Y/n was ready to rip the reporter to shreds. But she knew she had to stay professional, and the band was more than able to hold their own, so she stayed quiet. Ethan next to her sat up a little, obviously uncomfortable.

“No, we don’t party. No time.” His vision went dark as he looked at the woman in front of them. As kind and mindful as he usually was, he didn’t shy down when it came to showing his scarier side when he needed to.

“Yeah. We sometimes go to a bar on a day off, but that’s about it. Work is more important,” Victoria threw in as she put an arm around Ethan on the back of the couch.

Y/n felt a wave of pride at the way the band was holding up. It was absolutely no secret to her that they were desperately waiting for this interview to end, annoyed with the reporter and the lines she kept trying to cross, but they stayed polite and professional. She thought that this was what made them real rockstars in that moment.

“Okay, one more question, then. You entered this business really young, you still are, yet you write quite mature music, how do you manage that?”

“We write what we want to write. Perform how we want to perform. I don’t think that has an age limit,” Damiano spoke curtly. His eyes flickered over to their assistant. Y/n was sure he didn’t miss the way she was staring daggers into the back of the reporter’s skull. “And music has always been a passion of ours. We just got lucky really early in life, I guess.”

“Well thank you very much for your time,” the reporter said, standing up, and once again reaching out her hand to say her goodbyes. “Hope to see you around…” As she came to Damiano, Y/n didn’t miss how she stuffed a little note in his hand. “...hopefully.”

“Can I go kick her face now?” Y/n stood up, seething, as soon as the reporter had left the room. “Sorry, no, that’s actually rude. But I’m going to call management and report that woman.”

“Yeah, that… wasn’t cool,” Ethan contemplated. “How about you make that call and then we take your mind off it with the dinner show you booked for us, yeah?”

Y/n took a deep breath, looking at Ethan, whose eyes had turned back to show nothing but kindness. She couldn’t wait to forget about this disaster for the rest of the evening and enjoy herself. With the band in tow, she was sure she would.

***

Damiano hadn’t been quite sure what to expect from dinner that evening - but it wasn’t a table smack in the middle of the first row right in front of the stage. He should have seen it coming, really. When Y/n planned and schemed, she always made sure to get them the best of the best. Determined to make sure everyone was having fun. She truly took care of them like no other.

A waiter was at their table in no time, taking orders for drinks and food, and the openers started before Damiano even had a chance to take a sip of his wine. As soon as it became obvious that the first act of the evening would be pole dancing. The rest of the band started snickering, nudging Damiano’s side. Still, they all watched in amazement as the dancer started their performance, music filling the room.

“You know, I could do that,” Damiano whispered in Y/n’s ear as he leaned in close. She looked over at him - at the performer - back to him.

“Sure you can,” she giggled.

“Oh I can,” Damiano insisted, leaning in closer than necessary now. “And in heels.”

Y/n couldn’t stop herself from coughing, choking ever so slightly on her drink, as her eyes widened and a slight shade of pink appeared on her face.

Damiano simply couldn’t help himself. He knew he had meant to back off, give her a little space, give himself some time to think, but the words simply slipped out. “I can always offer you a private show, you know?”

This time, she only paused for a moment before whispering back, “You teach me pole dancing, I’ll teach you rumba, yeah?”

Fuck, he hadn’t expected her to get the upper hand so quickly. Still, he never once lost his smirk, murmuring a “sure” back at her. She had gotten back her cool, focusing back on her meal now, only looking up to watch the performance every now and then in between bites. She was making it way too hard for him to back off. He wondered if she knew what she was doing to him.

Leaning back into his chair, Damiano watched the performer on stage. They were beautiful, no question about that. Amazing at what they did. It was impossible to keep your eyes off them, even Y/n kept getting distracted. He wondered if she’d look at him the same way if it was him up there. Or if he did a little show himself that night, on stage at their own gig. Catching her attention like the dancer was doing now. Maybe making her lose her mind a little bit. It was worth a try…

The performance was over much too quickly for his liking and only shortly after, the main dancer of the evening was announced to go on stage soon. It didn’t take long for the lights dimming, before fading to black completely. A hush falling over the crowd. A spotlight found a petite, blonde bombshell in the middle of the stage. Perfectly sculpted hair, blue boa feather skirt, a glitter corset that dripped with silver and gold accents. She seemed to be glistening under the stage light, body glitter accenting all the right curves and features. Then she turned around.

Damiano’s jaw dropped - along with just about everyone else’s. She was così bella, un angelo. She walked to the front of the stage as the crowd cheered and whistled. Damiano was enraptured by her. She was mystifyingly beautiful. Each move was carefully planned out, knowing exactly what she was doing and how to do it. She was feeding off the crowd, spurred on by the shouts and comments, as she moved across the stage.

Damiano’s eyes followed her closely. He felt hypnotised by her performance. He had never given burlesque much thought, but this show was changing his mind rapidly. The only thing to pull him out of his was a sigh - a disgruntled noise maybe - coming from his left. It was hard to make out Y/n’s face in the dark, he realised as he turned towards her. But if he’d learned anything about her body language in the past days, he was certain that she wasn’t happy. Her arms were crossed in front of her and she was leaned back in her chair in a way that tried to suggest she wasn’t bothered. But she was. He just couldn’t figure out why.

He was distracted when the dancer was back in front of their table, looking down at them from the stage. She sent all of them a wink, before pulling the elbow-length gloves off one by one and throwing them to the side with a smile. She mesmerised him, even as she moved away from them to give another table some attention. Yet, Y/n was playing at the back of his mind.

Why did she seem so mad? She was the one who had booked this dinner, why wasn’t she having fun? Was she still preoccupied with the reporter from before? Sure, that one had definitely stepped over lines, but he thought they’d all gotten out of there pretty unscathed. And the reporter's number had wandered into the bin immediately. He considered the matter closed.

The woman on stage slowly lowered herself into a split, causing pretty much the whole audience to lose their minds. This was too good. More cheers and applause from everywhere. Damiano heard Vic shouting vague words of encouragement as the woman lost her bra, only pasties covering her nipples now. Y/n let out a little groan and from the corner of his eye, he could see her rolling hers. This time, Damiano wasn’t the only one who noticed. He watched as Victoria and Ethan exchanged looks, then nods, and finally shrugs.

Finally the performance ended, the dancer leaving the stage with another wink and kiss blown towards them. Damiano wished it could’ve gone on for longer. These people knew how to turn sex into art, and he’d by lying if he said it didn’t inspire him.

“Okay, gather up, no time to waste,” Y/n order, getting up from her seat the second the lights were turned back on. “You have a show to play and I don’t want you to be late.”

Damiano threw another look around. Even Thomas, who had been too preoccupied drooling over the dancer to notice anything else, was now staring at Y/n questioningly.

“What’s going on with her?” The guitarist asked as they all gathered their stuff and followed their assistant outside.

“Fuck if I know,” Damiano mumbled. “But I wanna find out, sooner or later.”

***

It wasn’t like her to be jealous. She didn’t care much about what other people found enthralling. But Damiano had looked at the dancer as if she was god’s gift to humanity. Yes, she was pretty, yes, she knew how to shake her arse. Was it all that special? The dancer was petite, a perfect fit for Damiano’s arms. A perfect figure to match his. Y/n was confident, she knew she was beautiful, but unfortunately the rest of the world didn’t always think the same. Unlike the dancer on stage. That woman was more than beautiful… She was palatable, sexy, perfect in all the ways a woman should be. Qualities that Y/n was currently convinced she didn’t possess any of.

Okay, maybe she was jealous. But she didn’t have any right to be. The dancer was simply doing her job. And so what, if Damiano had fancied her? It wasn’t like they were together. She worked for him, that was all. She didn’t have any right to want anything from him beyond that.

The fresh air hit her face as she left the venue, forcing some clarity onto her. She’d have to get a grip and get back to focusing on her job. It’s what she was there for, after all.

***

Victoria bounced over the Y/n as she left the venue, full of adrenaline and happiness from the show she had just watched.

“That was amazing, Y/n! Where did you get the idea for this being today’s dinner?” She asked, hooking onto the assistant’s arm.

“Looked up places we could go online, found this one in a travel blog. Said it had amazing wine so I thought we could check it out,” she explained without looking up from her hands, which were toying with the receipt.

“Well, you sure do have impeccable taste,” Victoria grinned and kissed her cheek. It seemed to pull Y/n out of her head enough to look up at the bassist. But Vic’s smile vanished quickly when she saw the look in her eyes. It was cloudy, gloomy, enough to make Victoria freeze up. Thomas was excitedly chattering about the show in the performance in the background, how hot he thought the performers were, especially the last dancer. Damiano eagerly agreed. Y/n’s seemed to have a flash of venom on her face, and suddenly it clicked in Vic’s mind. Oh, she knew that look well, had carried it herself a couple of times in her life.. She was jealous. Y/n was jealous of the way they all - or maybe, someone in particular - had reacted to the woman on stage. And she was doing a bad job hiding it.

As soon as the car pulled up, everyone scrambled to get it. Y/n immediately started bouncing her leg, still a stormy look in her eyes. If it didn’t seem so serious, Victoria would be amused at the state their assistant was in. Yet, with the expression on her face right then and there, the bassist didn’t dare make a joke.

Damiano was sitting next to Y/n, and Victoria desperately tried to catch his eye. It took a slight kick against his shin to get him to look at her. She flickered eyes back and forth between Damiano and Y/n, motioning him towards the woman. Hoping he would understand. Luckily, they’d long gotten used to reading the other’s face, no need for a verbal conversation. Damiano looked down at Y/n’s hands, still picking at the receipt, and he quickly grabbed one of them. Interlacing their fingers and offering her a smile when she looked up. Her leg stopped bouncing immediately.

“You alright?” He whispered.

“Yeah. Am now.”

Victoria couldn’t bite back the smile on her face, quickly turning towards her phone to be less oblivious. Those two would do just fine, sooner or later, she was sure of it.

***

The concert venue was smaller than some of the others they’d been playing on this tour, but if anything, it had caused the crowd to be even more rowdy. Y/n once again sat to the side of the stage, engrossed in her phone. Damiano snuck a peek through the curtain, before retreating and watching Y/n instead. She didn’t seem half as gloomy as she did at the dinner show. But a certain forlorn quality was still obvious. She had never been this type of obviously sad or upset before. At least not to his attention. Well, he was determined to get her to laugh tonight. Whatever had ruined her mood, he was going to fix it.

The band was getting hyped up, gathering around, some last minute fixes to their instruments among excited chatter. Yet, apparently, it hadn’t been only him who noticed Y/n’s mood. Once again sharing a look with Ethan, Victoria motioned her head over to their assistant. He nodded, before walking over to Y/n, taking her by the hand to get her to stand up, and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Victoria quickly followed suit, then Thomas, who had caught on. Damiano quickly gave a wink before kissing her forehead instead.

“For luck!” He shouted, as he ran on stage, welcoming the crowd. A quick look back confirmed a bashful smile on her face.

Everyone was on fire that night, even Y/n seemed to let go of her bad mood more and more. Damiano didn’t miss the way she sang along to their cover of ‘Take Me Out’, obviously getting into the show more than previous nights. Knowing all the lyrics, dancing ever so slightly… Damiano realised he really had it bad for her.

He decided to go for it during “For your love”. With a pointed look towards her, he slowly started rolling off one arm of his jacket. Then the other. A little mock burlesque show of his own, dramatically shimmying his shoulders as he got rid of the jacket completely. The crowd more than appreciated his little performance, judging by their screams. The rest of the band was eating his energy up, playing harder, going crazier. As Damiano jogged over to grab some water, he didn’t miss the opportunity to turn his back towards Y/n, shaking his arse in a bad attempt at twerking. Turning back, he could see that she was desperately trying to bite back a smile. But he wasn’t done yet.

Making sure she was still looking at him, he began playing with his microphone. Giving it a teasing lick and sending her a wink at the same time. Watching her as he let his hand rest on his chest, slowly wandering lower with a teasing touch, until it rested in his lap. He only managed to keep it up for a second, before he couldn’t hold back the laugh at her expression anymore and turned back towards the audience.

But apparently, Y/n had some trick of her own. Well, it seemed like she wasn’t even aware of them, but they worked on Damiano all the same. She was taking her hair out of the pony tail for the night and he thought the way it cascaded around her face was beautiful. He felt like a movie cliche, watching as the main character let her hair down and everything suddenly happened in slow motion. Yet, here she was, trying to shove a bobby pin back into place, and he was losing his shit. He thought it was ridiculous though. The crazier her hair went, the crazier he went about her. She swayed to the music and for a second Damiano could swear time stood still.

I wonder if she likes her hair pulled… The thought distracted him to the point that he forgot what he was singing, quickly covering it up by animating the audience to sing it instead. He was glad to be nearing the end of the set. He’d never wish to go off stage, per se, but Y/n was once again occupying his thoughts and the way she was moving to the music now didn’t help.

Another song, another bow towards the audience, another well-practised “Danke!”, and they were off stage. Damiano briefly considered going over to Y/n, only to see Thomas basically chasing her away, threatening her with a sweaty hug. Her slightly panicked squeals proved she wasn’t a fan of the idea. He didn’t mind. He’d make sure there’d be more time to catch up with her later.

Briefly dropping into the dressing room, Damiano grabbed his cigarettes and a hoodie, before heading outside for a smoke. The backstage door led to a quieter alley than the famously busy Reeperbahn on the other end. But there were still more than a handful of people walking past, singing, dancing, shouting into the night, beer bottles in hand. It didn’t take long for everyone else to join him. Ethan headed outside first, bumming a cigarette off the singer, before Thomas and Victoria followed. They were once again involved in some sort of mock argument. Y/n stepped outside a minute later, phone in her hand, already back to work-mode and probably checking the plan for the next few days. Everyone was still on a high from the gig, chatting and giggling, but Damiano felt himself taking a step back. He loved watching his friends, loved what they did, loved that he got to do it with them. And now Y/n too, in a way. Not even a full week in and he knew that this tour wouldn’t have been the same without her.

He was rapidly pulled out of his thoughts as a group of men came towards them, obviously way past drunk. Yelling and hollering for no reason but to be annoying and get everyone’s attention. Damiano hated those kinds of drunks. In his experience they were nothing but trouble. He had half a mind to retreat back inside before they reached the group, but even in their inebriated stupor; they were quicker than expected.

“Now, who are these beautiful girls?” One of them slurred, stepping forward.

“Yeah! Bet you give a man a good time,” another one laughed loudly. “And a cheap one too.”

One of them was moving closer now, almost touching Victoria - but without even a moment to process what was happening, Y/n acted. Damiano watched, fascinated, as she grabbed the man’s extended hand, twisting it around his back and shoulder checking him into the brick wall of the alley. No second thought, no hesitation. Shouldn’t the men have been the one to react and take care of their girls? Well, it didn’t seem like Y/n was one to wait to be saved.

In a tone that he had never heard before - and neither had the rest of the band judging by their reactions - Y/n spoke, “You couldn’t afford me, mate. Or my friends. So I’d take your piss drunk self elsewhere, m’kay?”

The men were gone faster than lightning, stumbling to find their footing as they ran, only starting to comment on how she was a “fat fucking bitch” and how they “wouldn’t have wanted her anyway” when they were far enough away. Y/n wordlessly rejoined the group.

Damiano found himself releasing a breath. The whole scene had been over so quickly, he barely registered it. He wasn’t the only one either, he realised. As the other three kept staring at her, amazed and maybe slightly intimidated, while Y/n didn’t even react.

However, Damiano wasn’t just mesmerised by her behaviour. He was thrilled by her - in more ways than one. The way she had handled herself was downright hot. She was fierce, self-confident, and strong. He couldn’t keep himself from contemplating whether this was a side she would let out in the bedroom as well. Was she the type to take control? Order him around? Push him to a wall like she’d done that guy, only with very different intentions? He would be 100% okay with taking orders from her, he decided.

Y/n finally looked up from her phone, apparently feeling everyone’s stares on her.

“...What. I told you I worked security before.” She looked at Victoria, quietly asking her if she was alright. She simply nodded. Damiano still couldn’t keep his eyes off of their assistant. Damn, that woman had more to herself than she let on.

***

Damiano was still thinking about it an hour later. After everyone had gathered their stuff and gotten back to the hotel and split up into their rooms. After he’d gotten in the shower. His mind was still running wild. He quickly turned the water to cold, letting out a hiss at the change in temperature, but he knew he didn’t have the time or the privacy to do anything about his thoughts. Neither would he be knocking on Y/n’s door, desperate for some kind of attention.

Not tonight.

#maneskin fiction #damiano david imagine #damiano david x you #damiano david x reader #damiano david fiction #maneskin imagine #maneskin x you #maneskin x reader #quiet music #bethanysnow #mywriting

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waka-chan-out · 3 years

Text

“You Asked For It.”

post-timeskip, obviously.

word count: 3.6k

content warning: PEGGING, established relationship, established safeword (not used), orgasm denial, hand job, fingering (m. receiving), light teasing because it’s tsukishima, tsukki calls you ma’am twice, lots of swearing

also featuring: hinata, kageyama, bokuto, akaashi, kuroo, and kenma

“Hey, Tsukki dude, it’s your turn!” Bokuto said, knees happily bouncing against the carpeted floor. Tsukki rolled his eyes and shot you a glance. You smiled, looking back at him over the girl that sat between you. Though neither of you were party people, you knew he’d have been upset if he missed this. The old volleyball club boys only got together every so often, so you had to drag him out of the apartment whenever it happened. Even though he was back to being his normal, slightly grump self, you could tell he was happy. Living with him for the past six months had made it much easier to read him, even when he seemed like he had an expression spectrum that spanned from a smirk to a frown.

“Alright,” he said, holding up his six remaining fingers. “Never have I ever hooked up with someone on one of the old volleyball teams.”

“Oo, that’s a good one,” Hinata said, glancing around eagerly at everyone’s hands. You put down a finger. Easy, obvious answer. There was hesitation in the rest of the group.

“What qualifies as hooking up?” Kageyama asked.

“Why do you need to know, Tobio? Got something to confess?” Kuroo teased. Kageyama’s eyebrow’s furrowed.

“I’m not asking for myself. I just think it’s important to clarify.”

“Whatever you say.” Kuroo chuckled, leaning back on his hands. He sat between two girls that you didn’t know. Apparently, Bokuto had arranged the gathering and didn’t exactly narrow down the guest list to old volleyball players, so though a lot of the old team members were there, some random people had attended and things got out of hand fairly quickly.

“Let’s say making out and beyond just to sate my own curiosity.” Tsukki continued. “You don’t have to specify if you don’t want to.” There was a cough from across the circle and Bokuto shifted awkwardly.

“How many fingers do you have, Bo?” you asked. He holds up four.

“How many did you have?” Akaashi asked, leaning forward from where he sat next to him, legs crossed carefully.

“It’s not my fault you guys weren’t paying attention,” Bokuto said, sticking his nose in the air.

“I think he had five,” Hinata said.

Kageyama laughed loudly. “I’m pretty sure Akaashi put a finger down too.”

“Akaashiiiiiii!” Bokuto said, leaning over onto his setter.

“Get off of me, Bokuto-san.”

“They’re being crazy. Tell them, Akaashi.”

“Tsukishima said we didn’t have to specify.”

Tsukki and Kuroo were doubled over in fits of laughter, clearly unsure what to make of what was going on.

“Someone else needs to hurry up and take their turn before Bokuto-san cries.”

“Akaashiiiiii!”

“Okay, okay,” the girl next to you said. “Never have I ever participated in…” she trailed off and looked embarrassed.

“Just say it,” Kuroo said, still laughing a bit.

“Anal,” she mumbled, immediately covering her mouth with her hands. Several laughs broke out across the group as a handful of fingers went down amongst the boys. You hesitated, winced, and put your finger down, hoping no one would notice. Tsukki looked at you, surprised. The girl that had asked the question grabbed your wrist.

“Oh my god, you’re the only girl that said yes! Was it awful? Did it hurt? Was it good? I don’t trust their answers.” You look at Tsukki with wide eyes, then back to her.

“Uhm, I don’t know if I can really answer those.”

“Oh come on,” Kuroo said. “It’s all for fun. Nothing leaves the circle. I think we’re all curious.”

“No, I’m not embarrassed,” you said, laughing. “I just genuinely can’t answer those questions. I wasn’t the one receiving.” The girl squeaked and Kuroo’s mouth fell wide open.

“Tsukki, did--”

“Nope,” he responded forcefully. Bokuto let out a guffaw and held out his hand for a high five. You gave him a gentle one, laughing with the group but cringing a bit when you looked back at Tsukki. He didn’t look upset, just dumbstruck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So . . . that was interesting,” you said as you laid down on your bed, trying to get in the first word.

“What was?” Tsukishima asked, nonchalantly taking off his jacket. You laughed.

“You know exactly what.”

He scoffed. “I thought it was obvious that Bokuto-san and Akaashi were hooking up, but I guess everyone was pretty surprised.”

“God, Kei, I’m talking about the anal question.”

“Of course you are.”

“Obviously.”

“I mean, good for you I guess. I didn’t know you had that dominant side in you.” He removed his shirt and walked into the bathroom. You called in after him.

“What does that mean? Of course I have that side.” You heard him scoff. “Don’t fucking laugh at me, Kei, you know it’s true.”

“Sure it is, love.”

“Yes, it absolutely is. I just didn’t want to embarrass you.”

He peeked around the corner, brows furrowed. “How would you embarrass me?”

“Please, Kei. We both know you’re secretly submissive. If I went full dom you’d never want to go back.” His eyes widened.

“You think I’m submissive? What gave you that impression?” Poor thing. He looked genuinely baffled.

“You just have that vibe, babe. You’re a brat.”

“You’re the brat here.”

“I am, but you’d be much more fun to tame.”

He huffed and leaned against the doorframe.

“You know what?” he asked. “Fucking try me.”

“Are you serious?” you said. Your eyebrows raised and a smile crept onto your lips.

“Don’t look so excited. I won’t give you an easy time about it.”

“But you’ll let me?”

“We have a safeword for a reason.”

“Okay, Kei. You asked for it.”

“No, I didn’t. You did. Now let me take my shower, dumbass. Kuroo was clinging to me all night and I feel disgusting.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bathroom door opened and Kei reentered the room, his hair curly and sticking up in the front, a towel wrapped around his waist. His whole body looked pink and damp where it had recovered from the water but not the heat. Your eyes followed him as he walked to his closet, head not lifting from the wall where he had left you. He began to open the closet door but noticed you studying him in the mirror.

“What?” he spat. You smirked.

“You’re pretty,” you said. He furrowed his brows and stared at you, trying to make sense of your words.

“You’re a dumbass.”

“You don’t know how to take a compliment.” He scoffed. You laughed, lifting yourself off the wall and moving on all fours towards him. You hung your legs hanging over the side of the mattress, hips about even with his with the height of the bed.

“I set stuff up for you,” you teased. He looked wildly around the room, eyes settling on the bottle of lube on your bedside table. He gestured to it.

“Is that all?” he asked. You smiled.

“Of course not, but I think it’s more fun if you don’t get intimidated by . . . you know.”

He flushed. “I wouldn’t be intimidated. I’m doing this for you.”

“Kei. Baby. No, you aren’t.”

“I could pull out the word right now.”

“But you won’t, will you?” You reached out and grabbed him by the towel, right where it was tucked in to stay in place. You pulled him to you, placing him right between your legs. He raised an eyebrow. Your hips lined up perfectly but he still towered over you. You wrapped your arms around his neck. “That’s what I thought.”

His hands fell to your waist. He leaned in for a kiss but you pulled back. He rolled his eyes. “Are you really going to try making this a whole thing?”

You smiled and combed your hands through his messy, damp hair.

“I do think you’re pretty, Kei,” you mumbled.

“Will you shut up about that?” he said through a breathy laugh. Your grip on his hair tightened and you pulled his head back. He grunted in surprise.

“Don’t try to act so tough, Kei. I know you want this.”

“You have no idea what I want.”

“I think I do.” You reached down and palmed him through his towel. He hissed and stared at you, eyes wide. “I think you’ve wanted this for so long you can’t stand it, but you’re too stubborn to ask for it.” He opened his mouth to reply, but just as soon closed it and squeezed his eyes shut. You laughed and released your hold on him. He inhaled deeply and stared down at you, a distant look in his eye. “Why don’t you come up here with me?” you asked. He shook his head but climbed up onto the bed anyway. You immediately swung a leg over him and looped your arms around his neck.

“We’re playing that game, are we?” he said.

“Honey, you haven’t seen half my game.” The defiance he tried to plaster on his face faltered as you rocked your hips against his. “You know--” you said, continuing the motion. “You said I don’t know what you want, but it keeps getting easier to tell.”

“I--fuck. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, leaning in so you could whisper in his ear. “Because I can feel how much you want me right between my legs.” You planted a gentle kiss on the shell of his ear and pushed his chest back so he was lying against the bed, moving your hips harder against him. He bit back a sound and closed his eyes, fingers pressing into your sides. You pulled his glasses off of his face and leaned over to the side table, exchanging them for the small bottle of lube. His eyes opened when he heard the familiar snap of the lid.

“What--” he started.

“Shh, baby. We’re gonna have fun.” You squeezed some out into your hand and untucked his towel, grabbing his cock. He let out a sharp breath. You leaned down and kissed him deeply, grabbing one of his hands with your own and pinning it gently next to his head as you started to move your other hand. His free hand found its way into your hair and tugged a bit. It was cute how he tried to act like he was still in control.

“You’re--hah-- you’re really going for it, aren’t you babe?” he said, pulling back from your lips. You responded by moving your hand faster. His head twitched forward, pressing his forehead against yours. His heavy breathing turned into a laugh. “God, if you wanted me so bad you just had to say please.”

You smiled, staring down at his furrowed eyebrows. Something about having him in this position made you want to tear him in half, leaving him a begging mess that wouldn’t recover for weeks.

“Why don’t you tell me when you’re about to come, huh?” You focused your efforts on the head of his cock and he let out a whine, immediately clapping a hand over his mouth.

“No no, baby, I want to hear you.” You planted a kiss on his hand and he moved it to the side. “Good. Good boy.”

“Fuck. I’m close.” His eyes were squeezed shut, hips twitching slightly as he approached his release.

“Yeah? You wanna finish?” He didn’t respond. “Kei.” Still didn’t respond. You pulled your hand away immediately, sitting up and staring down at him as his face screwed up and he ducked his head forward.

“You bitch,” he groaned. You smiled and ran your hands down his chest as he caught his breath.

“You didn’t answer my question,” you said, fake pouting.

“Are you serious? What the fuck is your game today?”

You grinned. “You know exactly what my game is, babe, you just aren’t playing nice.”

“What did you expect?”

“Oh, I expected you to act just like this.” You wrapped your hand around him again and his eyes rolled. “I’m just gonna knock it out of you.” He didn’t have a comeback to that one. You moved your hand faster, staying in a seated position so you could watch him react.

“You like this, don’t you? You’re always such a brat but you just need someone to put you in your place.”

“Slow down, babe. Fuck.” He covered his face with his hands as his hips involuntarily twitched.

“If you want me to slow down, you know the word you have to say.”

His eyes flew open and he glared up at you.

“You gonna say it?” You concentrated on the head again and his eyes fluttered.

“No. Fuck. Shut up.”

You smiled and continued the motion. You could see his muscles tensing and relaxing, mouth never quite closing around a silent moan. “Are you going to tell me when you’re close, Kei?” He didn’t respond again. “Tsukishima. I swear to god you won’t finish a single time tonight if you don’t fucking answer me.”

“I--fuck.”

Not a response. You pulled your hand away.

His hips rolled up and his head pressed back into the pillow. He let out a string of expletives and his voice shook a bit as he spoke. His breathing was heavy and he put his hands over his face again. You watched with a small smile, running a finger lightly up his length just to watch him squirm.

“Are you--fuck--fucking serious?” he gasped.

“I’m sorry, did you want to finish?” You feigned confusion.

“Shut the fuck up.”

“You aren’t asking nicely, Tsukki,” you teased, using the name his friends called him.

“What the hell do you want me to say? I’m not begging you for anything.”

“Your choice.” You dragged your hand back up and he gasped, head leaning back. You left your hand there, lightly teasing the head of his dick with your thumb.

“Can I finish?” You smiled patiently and shook your head. “Can I finish, please?”

“Closer. You forgot something, though, babe. I always call you sir. What should you call me?”

“Absolutely not.”

“How about ma’am?”

“No.”

“Your choice,” you said with a shrug, starting to move your hand on his cock again. He breathed heavily, climbing quickly after being denied twice already. His moans caught in his throat, sounding desperate but restrained.

“Fuck, babe,” he mumbled. “Fuck.” You could feel him twitch slightly in your hand as his lips fell open in a silent moan.

“All you have to do is ask nicely,” you sang, slipping your other hand down and gently rubbing at his entrance. His entire body twitched and he groaned loudly. “There it is. I knew you’d enjoy this. Why don’t you just ask nicely and we can have some fun?”

He mumbled something that you couldn’t understand.

“You’re going to have to speak up, Kei.” He moaned as you slowed down your hand on his cock, letting him focus on both sensations at once.

“Fuuuck.” The word came out of him in a long groan.

“You want my fingers inside of you, don’t you? Don’t deny it, babe. I see your face.” He inhaled sharply as you circled his entrance again.

“Yes.”

You moved your hand off of his cock and spanked his thigh lightly, a small punishment for not addressing you properly. He twitched and made a low noise at the loss.

“I’ll let that one slide. Just relax,” you hummed, grabbing the lube and seating yourself between his legs. You warmed it up on your fingers and pressed against his entrance, bending his legs a little at the knee to make it easier for both of you.

“You alright, love?” you asked. He nodded quickly and you pushed one finger inside. You went slow, letting him adjust to the new sensation, but the long groan he let out when you were fully inside him was worth the wait.

“There you go. Feels good, doesn’t it? You want me to move?” He nodded again, mouth hanging open. “Okay, love, stay relaxed.” You slowly started moving your finger until he felt comfortable around you. Once you could see his shoulders start to relax, you curled your finger slightly. His hips jumped and he swore loudly.

“Good boy. Taking it so well.”

His breathing picked up as you continued moving.

“I’m gonna add another one. Is that alright, Kei? You want more?” He sighed heavily and surprised you when he opened his mouth.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good boy.” You smiled. “So eager.” You gently pressed another finger into him. His eyes shut tightly at the sensation and he moaned quietly. You continued the motion, curling and scissoring your fingers until he felt ready. He was melting at your touch, still trying to maintain some composure but mostly allowing you to take control. You couldn’t wait for him to unravel.

“I think you’re ready, love. You doing okay?” He nodded, covering his face with his forearm as you climbed off the bed, reaching into your closet to retrieve your strapon.

It was thin, a decent length, and bright pink. It was a gag gift from a friend, but little did they know you were genuinely into that. You secured it and returned to your boyfriend, who stared at it nervously.

“Still alright, Kei?” you asked. He nodded. “What position do you want to be in?” His eyes widened.

“This, I guess?” He patted the bed from where he was laying.

“Perfect. I want to be able to see you.” His face went bright red. You climbed up between his legs, wetting the strap with lube and leaning down to kiss him. You were gentle, letting him push against your lips and wrap his arms around you. You lined up with his entrance and hesitated as he hissed.

“You’re okay, love,” you said, pressing a kiss on his nose. “I’ve got you. I’ll go slow.” He nodded slightly and closed his eyes, tipping his head back against the pillow. He looked so pretty like this. You were going to have to top him more often. “Just relax . . .”

You began pushing forward, gently and slowly. He was prepared well so there wasn’t much resistance. You kissed his exposed neck, whispering quiet encouragements in his ear.

“You’re doing so well, Kei. Such a good boy for me. You’re alright?” He nodded, letting out a small moan. “Almost there, love. You want all of me? Huh?” He tipped his head back up, pulling your face to his and laying a surprisingly harsh kiss on you.

“Please.” It was so quiet you could barely make it out, but he knew you heard him, face flushed. You bottomed out in him, chasing a deep groan out of his lips.

“Good boy. You want me to move? Tell me what you want, baby.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. Every time he said it chills shot down your spine. “Please.” You smiled and pressed your lips against his, bracing your hands on either side of him as you drew your hips back and pushed back into him.

The sound he made was shocking, high pitched and lewd and not at all like himself.

“Shit. Keep making that noise and I’m never going to stop, Kei.” His face was permanently blushed but you see his eyebrows furrow in embarrassment.

You continued moving your hips, keeping a slow but steady pace as he pressed his forehead against yours and continued swearing. It was delicious. He occasionally let out a small whine when you hit deeper inside of him. He grabbed your hips suddenly and pulled you farther against him.

“Please,” he said, surprising you.

“What do you want, baby?” you breathed.

“A little--fuck--a little harder.” Holy shit. You happily obliged, driving your hips harder into him. He let out a long groan that ended in a whine, breathing picking up and head tipping back into the pillow. You had a feeling he could come from just this, but just to be nice. . .

“Fuck!” He cried out as you wrapped a hand around his cock, stroking it to the same rhythm as you continued moving your hips into him. You concentrated your efforts around the head so your arm didn’t get tired, not wanting to let up on him until he was a shaking mess. He alternated between groans, whines, and swearing, so loud in your ear that you were sure the people in the next apartment over could hear him. It was shocking how quickly Kei threw away his pride when you really tempted him, and you hated that you didn’t try this sooner.

“Please, can I finish?” he said, planting a sloppy kiss on your face. “Please.” His voice sounded so desperate and you hadn’t even told him he needed permission this time. You were going to let him come either way but, fuck, he sounded so pretty asking.

“Fuck, good boy. Go ahead and come,” you said, and his grip on you tightened into fists as his moans began to sputter.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” he repeated as you kept moving into him. You felt him finishing on your hand, but you couldn’t help yourself. His head tipped up into your chest and he continued swearing. You took away your hand but kept moving your hips even though he was most certainly done.

“Oh god stop,” he begged, head buried against you. “Stop, please stop, stop.” His body twitched violently. He hadn’t said the word, so you knew he was alright. “Fuck! Stop.” You laughed and kissed his forehead, slowing your movements so you were just barely rocking your hips. His head finally tipped back and his body slacked, panting heavily.

“Holy shit, Kei.” You leaned down and peppered his sweaty face with kisses, laughing gently.

“That was . . .” He couldn’t even finish the thought, running his hands through his hair and laughing with you.

“We’re going to have to do that more often.” You pressed a short kiss on his lips and he opened his eyes.

“Don’t you fucking dare tell anyone about this.”

“No promises,” you giggled. His brows furrowed, back to being his normal self again.

“Absolutely fucking not. Don’t even joke about that. I won’t let you do it again.”

You grinned and kissed his nose. “Yes, you will.”

#hq x reader #hq smut #haikyuu smut #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima smut #tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei smut #tsukishima kei x you #haikyuu x reader

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atsukashii · 3 years

Note

Hi is it ok if I request y/n x kuroo & she/her & ☀️ & pink please?

smooth like butter, like a criminal undercover gon' pop like trouble breaking into your heart like that

✘ hey google: how do you tell if a guy is flirting with you?

✘ GENRE: fluff

✘ WARNINGS: aged up characters, bookshop au

✘ WORD COUNT: 1.9k

“I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.”

Closing your work locker, you raise an eyebrow at the familiar six foot, raven haired guy, who smirks down at you as if he just won first prize. In cringe worthy pick up lines? Yeah he can take that medal.

“Are you calling me a snack?” You ask, adjusting the strap of your bag.

“Will you go out with me if I say yes?” Kuroo asks again, wagging his eyebrows at you teasingly, and you immediately know he’s messing with you.

“Not a chance.” Offering him a scathing glare, you spin on your heels and slip out the front door of the shop. When you’d first gotten the job at the small bookshop near your house, you'd have been ecstatic. Although you’d been less ecstatic about your new colleague who you’d never met before in your life, but had been slipping you cheesy and corny pick up lines every day for months.

You didn’t even know that there were that many ways to flirt with someone, but alas, Kuroo proved you wrong every shift. At first, you’d been a flustered bumbling mess trying to come up with a response, but as you caught on to how his hazel eyes glinted with untamed mischief, you’d decided that Kuroo wasn’t your favourite person.

That wasn’t to say that you by any means hated the guy, there was no way you could when he was literally one of the nicest people you’d ever come across in your life. He held doors open for you, and would volunteer to carry the new boxes of stock out back because they were heavy - although you had an inkling that was partly to show off. In the end, Kuroo is sweet, kind, and hilarious. But he thinks that hitting on you every day, and asking you out as a joke is also hilarious.

And it’s hilariously pissing you off.

Because somewhere down along the way, between the angel references and calling you a ‘cute-cumber’ you’d found yourself smiling at the lines. You found yourself anticipating getting to work shifts with him, just to see him and for the chance to witness the familiar rogue smile and the pure giddiness that emits from his very being.

But to him, it was a joke. And that left more than a bad taste in your mouth.

Adjusting your bag once more, you try to slide the store door closed behind you to keep the aircon inside - a stark contrast to the summer heat bearing down on you. Before it can close completely, a hand rolls the glass door to a stop and you find yourself once again looking up into hazel eyes.

“Not finished?” You snipe back, having reached your quota of fake flirting for the day. Kuroo doesn’t flinch at your tone, or maybe he just chooses not to notice judging by the smile that graces his face. Maybe, just maybe you could eventually get over him. It’s not going to go anywhere, if it was going to, he wouldn’t have waited literal months to make a move. So maybe, you can let him go.

“Oh I have plenty more for you princess, but I just thought you might want this first.” In his hand is a copy of the book you’d been reading behind the counter of your shifts. Blinking twice, you realise it’s got similar dog eared pages and a crinkled spine from continuous use - that's your book. Instinctively you peer into your bag on your shoulder, and alas, it's empty. With an empty mind, you take the item from Kuroo’s outstretched hand, and offer him a quick thanks as you try to swallow the emotion in your throat.

“You’re most welcome. Walk home safe, I'll see you tomorrow princess.” Kuroo responds with a rogue wink that has you flushing from head to toe. His knowing grin proves that was the response he was looking for, so you quickly shove the book in your back and practically run from your work - swearing that you can feel his gaze on you the whole way home.

Yeah, there’s no chance you’re going to get over him.

This is cemented on your next night shift. You stand behind the counter, your eyes glancing up from the book you’re reading to the group of teenage girls giggling amongst the young adult isle. Really, it should be an actual law for people to be as quiet in bookstores as they are in libraries.

The door opens once more, and you begin to groan internally at the thought of even more rowdy teenagers coming in, but instead Kuroo slinks through the door in all his six foot two glory. Dressed in his work shirt, some black jeans and his usual sneakers, he looks good and the bastard knows it from the raised eyebrows he shoots you when he catches you looking. You don’t reply, but instead turn back to your book, ignoring him and the gaggling teenagers who suddenly shut up as he walks past them to go to the back room. You can’t blame them as their eyes stay glued to his every movement. Kuroo walks like he was meant to carry the world on his shoulders, but instead spins it like a basketball on one finger. As if the most difficult things for him are effortless. Like a god amongst men. Okay, let's not go that far. If he ever heard that, his ego would asphyxiate everyone from here to the south pole.

“Do you like my shirt?” Kuroo’s question has you turning around before you can stop yourself, but you’re all levels of confused as he holds the hem of his shirt in pinched fingers away from his body. His shirt? It’s his work shirt…

“Uh it’s your work shirt…” You manage to mumble out, brows still furrowed, completely baffled.

“Yeah but its made of a different material.” He points out, moving closer to you, only looking up from his shirt and to you when he’s standing only a few feet away. “Boyfriend material.” His grin is actually blinding, so you’re not sure if you’re squinting from that, or from the way you scrunch up your nose in distaste at his line.

“I hate you.” You grumble, turning away and looking down at your book once more, letting your hair fall over your cheeks to hide the flush splashed brightly across them.

“Hate me? Why must you hurt me so princess?” Kuroo jokes, and you find yourself getting more and more disappointed as he grows quiet and begins to start on his own work for the shift. It’s not until you both notice the gaggling girls practically drooling on the floor at him that you decide you need to take your break.

Closing your book loud enough to startle the group of girls and the guy flicking aimlessly through a volleyball magazine at your side. “I’m going for my ten.” You offer in explanation as you try to move out back. You don’t get to even make it past the counter before there's a warm hand wrapping around your own. Kuroo’s hand completely engulfs yours in the best ways and you can’t help but gape at it as it pulls your walk to a stop.

“Are you alright?” He asks, drawing your eyes reluctantly from your entwined hands to his face, and once you spot genuine concern there, you hesitate with your response. How do you say that no, you’re not okay because would you be if the person that you liked jokingly asked you out on a daily basis for months on repeat? But never meant it?

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Kuroo doesn’t let go just yet, but instead scratches the back of his neck with his other hand nervously.

“You know, if I'm honestly bothering you, please tell me. I don’t ever want to make you uncomfortable y/n,” He offers, shame and hurt flashing brightly in his eyes - and it shocks you stupid for a few seconds. It takes you an added moment that he’s talking about his teasing. Wait, he thinks he’s bothering me? Is he?

“Kuroo, if it was bothering me I would have told you alright?” You say softly, your gaze drifting back to your hand. “I mean sure sometimes it can be a bit much but that's mainly because I'm an idiot.” Not expecting those words, Kuroo’s nerves bleed into a confused frown that has you wanting to reach up and thumb away the line between his pinched brows.

“An idiot? Princess, if what I'm saying is bothering you-”

“It’s not what you’re saying that’s bothering me, it’s the joking.” The second the words leave your mouth, you wish you could reach out, grab them, and shove them back down your throat, because the way Kuroo drops your hand as if it burnt him hurts more than you thought it would.

“Joking?” His tone is utterly perplexed, and this time, you’re the one looking back at him with confusion. A loud laugh barks from his chest and you immediately feel embarrassed for absolutely nothing. Kuroo is laughing so hard and obnoxiously that tears actually crest the corner of his eyes, and at this rate you’re ready to just walk out the door if it means you don’t have to deal with this embarrassment for another second.

“You mean to tell me, that all this time you thought I was joking?” Kuroo gets out between laughs, and you feel your stomach drop at his words. What does he mean did you think he was joking? Was he not?

Your silence is answer enough because he runs a hand through his thick dark hair and leans back on the counter behind him.

“Jesus Christ Y/n!”

“You would laugh at me after you said them!” You defend, pointing an accusing finger in his way. How could you not think he was joking when he’d laugh at you, his whole being the very embodiment of mischief when he would say his lines.

“Because your face would go red and you’d tell me I was an idiot under your breath, because it was cute!” Kuroo rebuts right back, trying once more not to laugh, and you can’t help but groan. You cannot believe that this entire time, he was actually trying to ask you out on a date. Well, you can’t fault his perseverance and tenacity.

“Kuroo,” you grumble, bridging your fingers and pressing them to your forehead in thought, just trying to calm your raging heart at the fact that this is happening.

“Y/n,” he grins right back, and you can feel him closing in on your position before you can even see him. But once you open your eyes again, letting your hands fall from your face, Kuroo’s stunning features are right up close and more beautiful than you’d thought.

“Does this mean that you’ll go out with me when I ask this time?” You really do try for your pride's sake to not flush at his words, but heat still crawls up your neck and Kuroo’s growing smile tells you that your mental attempt to stop it isn’t working.

“Yes, I will.” You say, letting the smile tug at the corners of your mouth.

“Good, I'll remember that for my new line tomorrow.”

✘ A/N: more fluffy kurro for ya day, y'all i am l i v i n g for this man rn

#special event 🧚‍♀️✨#lols writes #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsurō #haikyuu kuroo tetsuro #kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x you #kuroo fluff #kuroo imagine

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inkmemes · 3 years

Text

this country ( 2017 - 2020 ) sentence starters ↪ taken from the bbc mockumentary. trigger warning for mentions of religion, death, sex. alter as you see fit ♡

“i like the underdog.”

“don't be a fucking dick.”

“everyone comes together on days like today and just forgets their utter hatred of each other.”

“everyone who's anyone's going to be there and there are people from my past that would love to see me slain.”

“there's a tea rooms there and under the counter they've got a panic button and if i take one step inside, they can press that. the police will be there in three minutes.”

"he whatsapped me the other day asking us to go laser quest with him and i ... well, i clicked on it by accident, didn't i? so he knows i've seen it."

"i mean, i get it, but it's not making me feel nothing."

“it's baffling. i'm baffled by the entire situation, if i'm honest.”

“what the actual fuck? what the actual fuck? you have fucking lost your head, mate. you have lost your fucking head.”

“when i get hold of you, i swear to god i will fucking deck you.”

"someone's just been throwing plums at my house. i'm going to kill them. i can't believe it. i can't believe it. all over this. plumming on here, plumming on that. plum on the sofa, look! there's nothing left that hasn't been plummed."

“i've had a target on my back since the day i was born.”

“thank you very much, enjoy your free potatoes.”

“do you know how small your brain is?”

“hogwarts is that way, dumbledore.”

“he used to say i looked like the puppet off the dolmio advert.”

“there's a kid crying over there. do you want me to...? i can tell him to shut the fuck up if you want?”

“he genuinely looked like a moomin.”

“on my first day of karate club, karate master goes to me, [name], i don't know why you're here because i can't teach you anything. if anything, you should be teaching me." and just gave me his black belt.”

“you know that little old blind man? yeah, when i was punching him in his face, the lens from his glasses broke and cut my knuckle.”

“some things are just best left in the past, where they belong.”

“what's the point in knocking if you're just going to walk in anyway?”

“it was a miscarriage of justice though, cos what people forget is 12 out of them 20 hostages actually found it funny.”

“i lied so much i still don't know what's real life and what's plain lies.”

“i'm so glad you're out of that lying phase.”

“he likes to be the only person on the road, so whenever he sees a car coming the other way he just pulls over.”

“nasa went through hundreds of them in the '60s. and now every time i see a really bright star in the sky i can't wish on it, cos in my head i'm thinking, ‘that's probably just a spacecraft with some monkey bones in it.’”

“you absolute traitor. that's my cheese - it's my fucking house!”

“don't you dare eat that cheese. you eat that and i will smash this. i promise you, i will smash you with this.”

“fuck! you switched them!”

“yeah, i can see it's fucking burnt, sherlock.”

“i honestly am ashamed to know him, sometimes.”

“if you knock on someone's door, don't take no for an answer. get into their house. if they say, ‘leave my house’, stay. and if they say, ‘i'm going to call the police’, you walk upstairs and see if there's anybody else upstairs to sell to.”

“she looks like uncle fester.”

“right. i'm going to piss in their flowers, then.”

“you really need to go home. your mum's called the police and everything.”

“you're also fired from being my best mate, by the way.”

“in business, there will always be setbacks. i don't drink my own juice, fray bentos doesn't eat his own pies. but that's business.”

“do you know what, i don't actually want to play this any more, because it is actually very, very boring.”

“i'm ashamed of myself, that's not usually me, so don't get the wrong impression.”

“i genuinely think one of them fancies me as well.”

“it's fate her moving across the street.”

“the problem with finding a girlfriend in the village is that most of the girls you meet round here are old-age pensioners.”

“yeah, i am looking for a relationship, but thing is i've just got so many trust issues, yeah, with being fucked over massive in the past, so no matter how much i get close to someone now i'm thinking in the back of my head, ‘shit, am i going to get fucked over?’ because i've been fucked over in the past massively. my last relationship proper fucked me up.”

“i went through a really dark phase. listening to papa roach and just blowing everything up with them little french bangers.”

“shut up, you don't know what you're talking about!”

“i don't like the man. i know he's my uncle, but i don't like him.”

“it's just malicious lies, that's all it is.”

“i'm not saying i've got a cruel heart, but if she ain't willing to take me as i am rather than the monster i've become, then she can literally just jog on back to sea with all the other fish cos i don't care.”

“what do you look for in a boyfriend?”

“the key to dating, yeah, is the two rs and the three ts. 'respect, rapport, and talking, talking, talking.' don't ever let that ball hit the ground. good relationships are built on great conversation.”

“on a date, you've got to tell them all the interesting stuff about you, because that's what they'll be interested in.”

“he said to me, he goes, ‘you can't smoke on here.’ i said, ‘i'm not smoking, i'm vaping.’ the look on his face when i said that. i don't think he knew what vaping… what a vape is.”

“you would make me the happiest mouse if you say yes and become my spouse.”

“here's a tip, [name], next time you take a chick out on a date, don't bore her to tears.”

“roses are red, violets are blue, i've got five fingers, the third one's for you.”

“get out of my way, pipe cleaner.”

“[name] phoned me the other day at three in the morning saying, ‘come quick,

there's a hedgehog in the garden that looks exactly like grandad.’ so i got up, i got dressed and i ran over to [name]'s as fast as i could and then i just stopped in the middle of the street at three in the morning and thought, ‘what the fuck am i doing with my life?’

“you're joking me? because if you are joking me, that is massively harsh.”

“oh, let me get a song up on youtube. you're going to absolutely love this, [name]. here we go… listen to this. oh, for fuck's sake, advert.”

“let's go down the pub and get shitfaced.”

“where do i see myself in five years? well, me and [name] will have a flat in the middle of the village and all of our furniture will be inflatable and we'll have cable and it will pay for itself, because we're going to use the spare room to breed quails, because their eggs are worth fucking shitloads.”

“is this about the calippo, still? because you offered to buy me that.”

“if he wants to go, good luck to him, i say. i reckon he thinks that i can't live without him, which is a laugh, because he went a whole weekend away once and i got on all right. i just ended up following this cat around the village.”

“i've got to do what's right for me, at the end of the day, instead of worrying about other people.”

“how about you say sorry? sorry for the massive knife that's hanging out the back of my back because of you.”

“oh, and while you're stabbing me in the back, feel free to bend down and kiss my arse.”

“can i just ask you an honest question? why would you want to leave the village when we've got a pub and a shop?”

“i think you don't know how lucky we have it to be doing nothing with our lives, like. we're all going to die, anyway, so what's the point in doing anything?”

“i want ownership of the words fucknut and dickmilk.”

“i had this come through the post. and i've got a few concerns about it. firstly, this guy on the front looks really arrogant. not the sort of guy i was expecting, if i'm honest.”

“this is starting to stress me out a little bit.”

“why are you trying to stress me out? you know i'm already stressed out as it is.”

“the bloke that used to live in there, right, kept hearing strange noises coming out of his attic at night. and he'd go to the fridge and find that food was missing from the fridge. so he thought, ‘i'm just going to go up to the attic and check this out.’ and he found an entire family of peruvian panpipe buskers just living up there. and he thought ‘i'm just going to leave them to it, ‘cos they're not really doing me any harm.’ and then, a few years later, he thought, "well, i'll just go up to the attic to check on them. ‘see if they're all right.’ and it turned out they'd all died of asbestos poisoning. yeah, he doesn't live here any more.”

“some people will always be scared of me, and i can't change that, no matter how nice i am. but there's a balance to be had between being nice and being feared.”

“don't really like catching up. it's not my thing.”

“i just watched this video of this girl doing a random act of kindness on youtube. she basically paid for this old man's shopping at the till. and this old man was, like, about 90 years old. and he's so fucking old, like, you could see through his skin. and he just starts bawling his eyes out. he's like, ‘you're fucking joking me, this ain't fucking real life.’ i just thought... i want to make someone feel like that. ‘cos that's... i really… that's what i want to do.”

“i'm not dead. just can't be arsed to text her sometimes.”

“you know, correct me if i'm wrong, but four texts a day is complete madness. no-one can keep up with that.”

“i am doing kind things selfishly.”

“i was at midnight mass one year, right, someone got tipped off i was there. as i was coming out the church, someone tries to shoot me with a crossbow.”

“well, i haven't seen the film, have i? that's why i came here - to watch the fucking film - like a normal human being.”

“i've made an effort by coming here tonight. i didn't want to come.”

“i had to wheel him here from his house in an asda trolley, cos he was just too heartbroken to move.”

“sometimes you don't know what you got until you ain't got it any more. like blockbuster's. i just took 'em for granted - and then, one day, gone, and you spend ages trying to figure out what went wrong, and then you realise it was your fault all along.”

“i thought you said you wanted to fix things.”

“she wanted it to go that way, and it just wasn't gonna go that way. she even got me thinking that they'd get back together… ..but that's manipula.... manipulative people... do that. and he's better off without her.”

“that wasn't much to write home about.”

“it's fucking dead, isn't it?”

“basically, somebody's been sending me threatening letters, and i don't know who's doing it - and i am concerned, because my peripheral vision is poor, so, if somebody attacks me from the sides or snipes at me from an upstairs window, i am fucked - but my hearing is excellent, see? so i just need to spend a few days inside honing my sonar, and i'll be fine then.”

“if you don't like the work, the circus is in town and they're always looking for clowns.”

“his soul is just going to crumble to dust.”

“this really is not a good situation for me. a physical threat is something that i can deal with, but a sexual thing is not my area of expertise.”

“just really fucked in the head, mate.”

“what have i done? i haven't done anything wrong.”

“do you know how sad that is? that is so, actually, sad. that makes me sad for you, that you can't take a joke.”

“i think i just got a bit carried away with the whole thing.”

“your finger's going up my arsehole, mate.”

“i'll hold the back of your head, so you don't bash yourself.”

“when i lie in future, i don't want a massive lecture on how bad lying is, cos deep down, you're the worst of us all, mate.”

“i'd quite like a coke.”

“it's going to be like gluing a breadstick back together, because… like, as if a breadstick's been in a blender and it's all… ...the pieces smashed up.”

“like, this one time i started a fight club in the village hall, and i got a black eye from beating myself up. but it made my enemies think, ‘fuck, if she can do that to herself, what the fuck can she do to me?’”

“i'm absolutely 1,000% sure i've broken it in two places.”

“i knew this day would come.”

“i should be in tk maxx, getting the bargains that i deserve.”

“unlike you, [name], i'm not a fashion disaster.”

“i'm still warm in my grave, and she's sucking off the pallbearer.”

“you know, it took me ten years to get over [name], and i only went out with her for half a day.”

“i swear to god, if i see him here again, i swear to god, i will have no hesitation in just going up to him and just planting one on his face.”

“right, then keep your nose out of my business, yeah? nosy old cock-womble.”

“[name]’s attitude to me is puzzling. if i walk past her in the street

and say hi, she'll tell me to fuck off. yet every year, she sends me a really sweet, nice christmas card. you know, there's just no consistency there.”

“he's good-looking up close, isn't he?”

“don't show me any weakness, because i will take advantage.”

“no, put the brick down, you fucking psychopath.”

“when i asked him, he just said, ‘come to my office now,’ which means we're in the fucking shit, cos we're always in fucking shit.”

“i shouldn't be paying you at all.”

“i've always had a son. i talk about him all the time.”

“he's my son. he's not my dog.”

“it reminds me of the wicker man. i don't really know why.”

“i just find it weird how you can be so close to someone and they can be such a big part of your life, and then the next minute, you're just sort of strangers in the night.”

“i don't want the emotional implications.”

“well, about five years ago, i sold my birthday to my mum for about 200 quid, which means my mum's legally entitled now to never celebrate my birthday ever again for the rest of my life. not even, like, a happy birthday cup of tea, or a moonpig card, nothing - which is the worst decision i ever made in my entire life.”

“he deserves that anyway, because he's been sexting my nan, so…”

“what's this surprise? cos i need to know whether it's going to be worth this walk.”

“i always see them banners above the motorway, and i always thought, ‘who the fuck does them?’ well, now i know. people like me.”

“did you know you can't get stung by a stinging nettle if you grab the leaf top and bottom, like that? it's only when you touch it on the sides, it stings. agh, actually, that stung, then.”

“pez dispenser, they're cursed. they are, i'm not even joking. honestly, when i had one of them, i had the worst bout of bad luck i ever had in my life.”

“i swear down, it's a short cut. it might be a pleasant walk, we might enjoy it.”

“i'm not scared of the fox twins. i'd just like to sit them down and ask 'em plainly, ‘look, guys, what is going on? ‘cos this has just gotten completely out of hand now. you know, stop walking on your knuckles, stand up straight, be the best version of you that you can be. get a job, even. there's a trolley boy who works at tesco's, you know, who may as well have been raised by wolves. if he can get a job, you guys can walk it.’”

“yes, there has been talk of strange goings-on in the woods, ghost sightings and the like. but… ...they're never from particularly reliable sources.”

“i live with a ghost. there's a ghost in that house. he's like a civil war cavalier, with all the hair and the hat and all that. and every time i walk into the living room, he doffs his cap. and on his shoulder, he's got this crow that barks at me. it means i spend less time in the house, really. not because of him, because he's-he's quite peaceable. but the crow is malevolent. and i'm not having that. i can't share my house with a malevolent bird.”

“that's haunted as fuck.”

“am i going mad here, or does that, to you, look like that's where just ghost will hang out all the time?”

“look at him, little red riding twat.”

“if he's got an attitude with me, i swear to god, i'll just grab the steering wheel and drive us all into a wall.”

“it's a bit annoying, actually. cos this is not the first or the second time i've had to tell you, really, is it?”

“his sparkle has just gone.”

“you know my dad actually wrote the song wonderwall on the back of a beer mat in the space of ten minutes, don't you?”

“i've just got a tiny, tiny, tiny little favour to ask you.”

“when i think of [name], i think of someone who is very loyal. and very, very stupid. sort of more stupid than loyal. sort of 70% stupid, 30% loyal, probably. because she's very loyal. but extremely stupid.”

“do you know what? i actually don't think he loves you at all and i don't think he's ever loved you.”

“all right, that's harsh and unnecessary, but fine.”

“frankly, she is behaving like the antichrist.”

“i literally just got here.”

“you are such an unemotional slab of ham, [name].”

“i've got so much shit on that man you would not believe.”

“there's something in my eye.”

“i just can't quit him, you know?”

“yeah, we might have a fiery relationship, but when we're together, it's just… it's just pure chemistry, isn't it?”

“i'm not proud of it, believe me. but at the end of the day, i'm a very vindictive person, you know? it is what makes me me.”

“i basically went out and bought an alpaca off gumtree for £500. of all the mistakes i've made in my life, that was possibly the largest. definitely the physically largest.”

“yeah, i really don't wanna talk about that.”

“her only loyalty is to herself, staffies, and the tv channel dave… ...which, in my opinion, is a tv channel made by knuckle-draggers for knuckle-draggers.”

“i can't move on till i've seeked revenge, unfortunately.”

“if that was in france, that would be fine, but we're not in france.”

“the only thing we had in common, really, was stealing, and that was more my thing that i got him onto. but it just goes to show, you know, some friendships last and some friendships don't, but that's just the way it is.”

“you know it was me that got you sacked, don't you?”

“the thing i learnt about friendship is, you gotta accept each other's flaws, no matter how toxic they may be.”

“shit-stirring from beyond the grave.”

#rp meme #rp prompt #rp starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence starters #this is the nichest meme ive made #but this show is so fucking funny okay

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