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#funny af in my opinion
kkangkkangie · 1 year
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Professor Headcanons
Albus Dumbledore
he’s very accomplished in terms of wizarding academics, having won nearly every accolade there is. but—but, he’s also not averse in using like “muggle” techniques. the reason he even matched up against Voldemort is (cause I guarantee you) this person pulled out some muggle warfare tactic that caught him off-guard.
✨weaponized ignorance✨ (like seriously everyone knows he’s a genius, but like gets away with saying stuff like “nitwit” and “blubber”) he feels like a Luna kinnie at times
he switched out the smart three piece suit when (1) he no longer needed to impress Grindewald & (2) realized wizard robes were like blanket hoodies
“to be a wizen is a right, but to use magic is a privilege” 
Minerva McGonagall
this lady has the wizen equivalent of a physics PhD & she did it all with grace and sophistication. do not mess with her—there’s a reason she was chosen to wrangle a bunch of kids who think rules are like glowsticks (i.e. meant to be broken).
this is that one professor who grades your exams in one day & posts grades immediately. Alternatively, she somehow never misses a question. either she has the world’s greatest spell for grading or she’s just that good. 
she’s the de-facto leader of the faculty (other than Dumbledore, but even he defers to her at times) + the stern parent that makes sure that the emo child (snape) gets social interactions or botany hyperfixater (sprout) doesn’t create a breed of plants that eats the students, etc. 
“words are meaningless if there is no willpower driving it—conversely, one should not speak unless one wants to will something to reality”
Severus Snape
that asocial genius trope. he hated eating at the faculty table in front of students so he didn’t. until came Celaena and Harry Co., then for the sake of keeping his sanity intact, he did (he even does a little headcount of his students & panics if one of them is missing)
he wears the same robes for a reason. they keep him cool in the heat of summer & somehow provides insulation for the cold dungeon winters. it works. he wears.
he learned that simply not requiring textbooks in his class (or at least one pertaining to brewing) was better than losing his shit everytime he saw the terrible instructions. in his first few years of teaching, he set 4 textbooks on fire. 
“there is nothing worse than incompetency masquerading as confidence” 
Pomona Sprout
acts like she’s on five coffees a day even though she doesn’t drink any. this lady has the strength and energy of a whole farm—she could plant all day & be the happiest person on the planet. she’s the strongest faculty member (stronger than Hooch, which allows for some fun challenges when inebriated) 
she experiments a lot! like she has several notebooks dedicated to recording the minute changes in the properties of plants—with the aid of Snape’s potion skills. the two singlehandedly came up with a new set of ingredients for seasonal potions for the Hospital Wing.
loves to talk with students outside of classes (oftentimes, dragging them to the greenhouses) & it really didn’t matter what house you were in. most students found her the easiest to approach from all houses and years.
“plants are like miniature humans! but I do think they listen much better than you lot”
Aurora Sinistra
she’s that one teacher that’s super hard at the beginning, but as you get used to her teaching methods—best teacher ever. the reason that students in arithmancy usually get a minimum of an A? it’s her. she taught them well.
best tea brewer ever. periodt. Snape’s a close close second, but there’s something about the infusion of moonlight that makes hers legendary. the two often share recipes together—a habit from their years at Hogwarts (although, back then, it was mostly recipes for their friends b/c wow were they bad at taking care of themselves)
she tries to keep homework as small as possible b/c it’s not possible to wait until the stars are out to do them sometimes, but it means that classes are more often. she’s the first teacher to adjust the schedule based on the seasons—less classes, more hw in winter & vice versa in summer season)
“every myths and legends can be ascribed to the beauty of outer universe—we must not forget”
Filius Flitwick
just to start, big aristotle kinnie. he has the aristotelian physics PhD equivalent in the wizarding world (definite big brain). he’s the only other person who can really get technical with McGonagall—both of them are menaces at faculty gatherings.
he has the best manners—not just like table manners, but like how to engage in socialite behavior expertise in multiple customs. he’s practically eligible to be a proper diplomat, but he chose to teach charms because he practically becomes like a little child again, wide-eyed and excited.
he has a very structured manner of teaching b/c he realized how often he’d go on tangents. his older students have the privilege to listen to his rabbit holes before descending down into their own rabbit holes too. 
“brilliance is subjective! every idea is brilliant if you are so enamored by it”
Cuthbert Binns
ghosty man who continued to teach even after death. he became a true icon of living history cause not only did he teach Riddle, McGonagall, Moriarty, and even Harry Potter—he lived through them & he did it all half-asleep. respect.
has no respect for wizen legend and myths—he’s much more rather interested in wizen fact that align with Muggle mythology and legends. there’s an element that he is able to prove and extrapolate—it gets too much with wizen technicalities. 
this man has two office hours. you can either go ask for help and gain a whole lecture on your topic or you can join a group sleepfest. some students with insomnia noticed being able to sleep with his voice as white noise. truly a cure for them.
“we [historians] are not seers; wizen merely have an unfortunate habit of making mistakes and forgetting about them”
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nonokoko13 · 3 months
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Call me Mahoro because I also think her brother is hot af Btw the plot twist in this series is that Arajin is going take his crush last name but not because of her. Sorry for the spoilers peace and love in the planet Earth
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And could somebody make this Marito teddy bear real? It's a basic and essential need atp
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l0v3c0r3e · 10 months
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i need opinions on the barbie movie from the ppl who have seen it as i really want to love and understand this movie more but i can't
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kideaternomnom · 3 months
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No because why do some people genuinely get so angry if you dislike or don’t really like their favorite character/ship? 😭
Like I do criticize haters of something if they hate on let’s say writing for a dumb or invalid reason. However I wouldn’t get so worked up and angry over it…☠️Plus if my favorite just isn’t their type that’s perfectly fine too.
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fowlblue · 10 months
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I don’t like Hartemis, but my favourite AU is one where mind-wiped Artemis who doesn’t know about fairies thinks Holly’s in love with him because he’s an utter dork who has no experience with friendship, and because he is a professional romance novelist if we remember, so does recognise many of the common tropes being present (which also apply to friendships), so he asks her during ‘The Opal Deception’ and her quick “no no no no no nay never” answer has him think ‘aha’ and then say “Sorry my dear madam, but I’m afraid I’m off the market, dating being a hampering to my work.” and Holly unable to clarify otherwise that she was never interested in him because she can’t get a word in, this being the same memory-less Artemis who tried to sell her out to Opal. Like making fun of the ship but not in a “I hate all shippers.” way.
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… I mean. Okay.
Look I’m sorry I sure you meant well sending this but I really don’t care for any sort of Hartemis or Hartemis-adjacent thing. That includes AUs or settings where Hartemis being a ‘possibility’ is the butt of the joke. There was a whole debacle about it. I had Hartemis stans in my inbox for days.
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backupranger · 10 months
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🐉 for buckwheat, 🖍️ for …rabbit… !!
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I'm not gonna lie friend I've never played a Flight Rising, hope this fits though.
.Rabbit. is an artist :)
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soniana252 · 2 years
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#Poseyshutthefuckup2022
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charlies-freckles · 2 years
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Tehehwhw i did a lil something
Okay fuck it, Nogata goes in the top tier and Proctor is kinda cute he reminds me a little of Mac but he's still mean so...
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fideidefenswhore · 2 years
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i now shy away from those chain rank-the-six posts (they seem to draw a lot of hostility, lol), but i thought it would be interesting to look at the rankings of 'six wives' fiction series, there's really only two bestselling series where it makes sense to do this:
weir's series by sales rankings:
Katherine Parr (#32 in Renaissance HistFic)
Anne Boleyn (#34 in Renaissance HistFic)
Anne of Cleves (#44 in RHF)
Katherine Howard (#56 in RHF)
Jane Seymour (#69 in RHF)
Katherine of Aragon (#84 in RHF)
gregory's by sales rankings (more difficult but i went for the center/central of the novel when i couldn't do by the protagonist):
Anne of Cleves/Katherine Howard (#24 in RHF)
Anne Boleyn (#33 in RHF)
Katherine Parr (#42 in RHF)
Katherine of Aragon (#60 in RHF)
bonus, suzannah dunn's by ranking (now i'm fascinated):
Anne Boleyn
Katherine Howard
Jane Seymour
Katherine Parr
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wolflover33100aj · 27 days
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I saw a post on here while scrolling through the Welcome Home tags that made me laugh so hard that I need a lung replacement and my brain broke a bone
Someone was like " Why am I still getting recommended Welcome Home stuff? It's been a year! Get over it! " and the tags was like " Welcome Home sucks " and I laughed so hard I almost had to write my will because this is the post that's going to take me out
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robert-deniro · 1 year
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So I've been following the awards season because I'm a huge Colin fan and I feel like it's rightfully his time to get appreciated not merely by people who are most likely found on festival circuits. The thing on the other hand about following it is seeing Brendan Fraser, who is a likable guy, except he stars in a movie that you dislike. Do you have a way to work around feeling iffy over that or pretty much just the Academy going for either fatsuit actors or biopic actors?
okay so i wanted to wait until i had watched the whale before answering this ask and now that i watched it last night. here we go,,,
like yeah i get it colin NOW getting all the awards buzz is something that should have happened years ago for other other films he's done (still mad about him not getting ANYTHING for saving mr banks lol) but yeah, brendan fraser in the whale was also really, REALLY good and i'm glad that he's also in the conversation for all of it.
as for the film itself, i don't really know how i feel about it. i don't hate it as much as most people i've seen do but i didn't love it either, again, as most people i've seen do (and yeah i was pretty much the only person in the cinema last night who wasn't sobbing lmao even my friend who i watched it with was emotional for a long time after the film). there were definitely some things i disliked and i can see why people hate the film, but the way and i guess the only motivation to watch it in the first place was for the performances. brendan and hong chau were so so SO good in the film, the only reason why i liked it so much was because of the emotion and depth and humanity they brought to it. and i know it's not easy but that's how i like to look at it. if brendan DOES ones end up winning that award over colin i actually won't be mad because for me it was a really good performance (inspite of the fat suit which i also get is problematic but for the weight gain his character is supposed to have i am glad brendan didn't go to that extent of gaining it himself).
and also ngl i genuinely couldn't care much about the oscars lmao like yeah awards buzz is cool and ngl i will be thrilled if colin does end up winning (the idea of which i still find hilarious) because awards aren't an indicator of a good performance to me, but that buzz does help actors in their career so i'm glad that brendan gets to partake in it. plus it only lasts for some time so no big deal i think?
that being said i am definitely mad about gary oldman winning an oscar for darkest hour, a role where he was pretty much covered in prosthetics and wearing a fatsuit as well i think?, because there really wasn't anything remarkable about it. i like gary oldman, i think he's had brilliant performances over his career and tbh should have gotten that stupid award ages ago for pretty much anything but darkest hour lmao so I'd say just look try focusing on whether the absence of the fatsuit and prosthetics impact how you feel about the performance (eg. again colin in the batman - covered in prosthetics and fatsuit but if they weren't there i'd still like him as the penguin because he's just fuckin funny and brilliant)
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bivht · 3 months
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Astrology Observations
😎Virgo moons are polite and respectful until you cross their boundaries. But people accuse them of being rude even when THEY were the ones put in a super uncomfortable situation
😎Aquarius and sagittarius placements are free-spirited. You tell them to do something and suddenly it’s an obligation rather than a choice and they don’t want to do it anymore lmao
😎Cancer risings and their low-key unhealthy relationship with food :0
😎Taurus is branded as the foodie of the zodiac but I think Sagittarius is the ultimate foodie
😎I like to see the moon sign as who a person is at their core. And the moon sign in your mercury persona chart is very insightful to how you express yourself.
for example:
Aries moon- expresses themselves passionately, perseverant, doesn’t give up easily, likes to keep things tidy, hard working
Taurus moon- sweet and charming way of talking, logical, doesn’t like believe anything without concrete evidence, self care, words of affirmation, has definitive personal boundaries
Gemini moon- domicile (home sign), real sweet talkers, witty, critical thinking skills on point, charmers, know how to talk themselves out of a situation, scatterbrained
Cancer moon- sweet, will remember your birthday, wants to include everyone, confused easily
Leo moon- humorous, dramatic af, will spread love to whoever gives them attention, gives their love to everyone
Virgo moon- domicile, polite, respectful, knows how to remain professional in awkward situations, hates the feeling of being stuffed full?? 7/10 full is sufficient for them, due to this they’re usually slim, “perfect” self expression, neat and tidy, expresses gratitude for every tiny thing, eats slowly, critical thinking on point, extremely private (esp. about relationships)
Libra moon- diplomatic, likes to agree, charming, soft and sweet but also vengeful, avoids confrontation, talks shit behind backs instead of addressing issue directly with person
Scorpio moon- opinionated, probably a coffee addict, death stares at people they dislike, private but not the same as virgo, virgos tell you things but won’t go into detail, scorpios just won’t tell you. so fiercely loyal, their charm is fatal
Sagittarius moon (detriment)- happy, seems like they’re always having fun, don’t take themselves too seriously, charmers, funny facial expressions, stuff themselves full. they DEVOUR food, tendency to overindulge so can be chubby cheeked, struggle to articulate themselves in a professional manner, hates being nagged, lacks critical thinking, they get bored easily so consistency is an ongoing struggle
Capricorn moon- logical, down to earth, realistic, charming, articulate, their smart little jokes, a bit reluctant to try new things but they will, loves feeling in control (more than anyone else), really patient, consistency is key
Aquarius moon- they talk in a very self-important way, very recognisable tone of voice, an intellectual, research whore, likes to share their found knowledge with people, lecture people
Pisces moon (detriment)- ehhem OVERSHARER to the T, silly humour, a bit unreasonable as they don’t follow logic, poor critical thinking skills, either super empathetic or lacks any empathy
😎More of an assumption but Leo+Virgo (and/or taurus)= hating slimy and mushy textures like eggplant, okra, durian
😎Chiron in the 6h can be obsessed with hygiene and cleanliness. My brother has this and he will not eat from the same spoon or drink from the same straw as anyone else, not even his own mother. He’s criticized and scolded by his mother because of this
😎A mother with 10h mercury is scrutinizing their childrens’ speaking abilities and how they interact with people in public
😎Aries mars has a fit looking body
😎People with sun 1h in the mars persona chart can seem really athletic
😎Sometimes individuals with neptune hard aspects (esp. square) are accused of having a mental illness (bullied)
😎Mars square neptune is a really anxious placement. Their panic is so clear on their face. They get really nervous about things more than others. Their intentions are confusing and people find it hard to figure out what your intentions for your actions are
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toutallyahoe · 1 month
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helping you out on the francis with the pussy propaganda; railing trans francis while he's in a cow lingerie i wanna see him squirt as the reader torture his clit im unhinged
━ pretty cow ,, that's not my neighbor
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pairing(s): francis "milkman" mosses x male reader warnings: cursing, ftm francis, subby francis, vaginal sex, lingerie, fucking with clothes on (for francis), lil praise kink (calling francis pretty <333), overstimulation, marathon sex, dacryphilia a/n: i have exams tomorrow but spreading the francis with a pussy propaganda is more important
and because my mahal asked and also im petty af
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Francis was a pretty little thing in your humble opinion. The man may look like he needs to take a nap for a week from those tired eyes of his, but the man still looks handsome. Especially in his white milkman uniform that just fit well in him. It was always hard to not immediately jump Francis when he was in those clothes before and after he came back from work. So pretty, so beautiful... how can you not want him?
What was more tempting of the image of Francis in his uniform was when the man was out of it. Soft, smooth skin that looks so pretty with his marks all over, especially on Francis' chest. Little chub on the stomach that you loved to place and hold your hand over, especially when you can feel the bump of your cock when you were inside Francis. And oh, thick thighs that Francis gained from delivering milk.
Francis was beautiful. So, so pretty... and it really took everything in your willpower not to jump the man and ravish Francis already when Francis just came back.
But you know what's more tempting? What Francis was wearing right now in front of you.
"You... beautiful," You breathlessly said as you stared slack-jawed at Francis. Awe in your eyes as you tried to soak up the sight in front of you. Francis let out a soft whine from the praise as he tried to adjust the clothes he was on. Francis was wearing a special lingerie that you had jokingly bought, but god, it hugged Francis' body so prettily. "You look so beautiful."
"It's embarrassing," Francis said, cheeks flushed as he avoided eye contact with you. "Why did you buy this?" He asked as he let out a surprised yelp when he was pulled down, landing on your lap as he put his hands on your shoulder to balance himself. Francis sent you a small glare, pouting as he got a smile from you.
"What? I think it fits you," You chuckled as you placed a hand on Francis' waist while the other toyed with the strings of the panties Francis was wearing. The lingerie was cow printed, which was amusing but also worked well from what you planned to do to Francis. "Don't you think so?" You cooed as you did think it fit the man in your lap quite well. Francis pouted more.
"It's not funny," Francis said and you just shook your head and smiled.
"I think it's perfect," You said as you brought Francis to a kiss, your hand that played with the strings of Francis' panties had roamed to touch Francis' crotch instead. The man on your lap didn't fight back at all, instead reciprocating your kiss as you squeezed Francis' waist affectionately. Francis let out a moan from the kiss when your middle and forefinger pressed in the middle of the panties, rubbing until you could feel Francis' slick make a small wet patch. "Now, can I get my milk?"
“Fuck— fuck! Fuckin— hold on, s... shit—” He gasps as Francis moans helplessly. His mouth fell open in pleasure while his whole body shook from the overwhelming feeling of his body just in deep pleasure but as well as from your hard thrust. His thighs become a frothy mess as his slick and your cum dripped from his cunt. His moans turned into screams when you started fucking him into the bed harder and harsher again, nipping at his exposed throat and leaving marks all over his skin. "W... wait!"
You harshly rolled your hips, making sure your cock hit Francis' core dead on each time you slammed yourself in. You let out deep, pleasured moans into Francis' neck as you felt Francis claw your back, nails digging to your skin and probably... absolutely, leaving marks that'll show tomorrow. But it's fine because you left your marks on Francis already and will continue to leave more. Outside and inside the Milkman when you were done with him.
"Fuck!" You hissed as you slammed yourself harshly deep inside Francis, feeling the man squeeze around your cock before it got more slippier and wetter than it was before. Francis came again and you weren't too far behind because before you knew it, you spilt your load inside Francis' warmth. You two moaned as Francis felt so full that his hands had unconsciously touched his stomach, feeling the bump grow bigger from your cock and cum in him.
Taking a breather from just coming inside again, you felt Francis' body slack in your hold and when you took your face away from Francis' neck to see if the man was okay, you soaked in the messy yet beautiful sight in front of you. It was truly beautiful.
Francis' smooth skin was already painted with so many bites and hickeys, especially around his neck and chest courtesy from you. His tits spilt out from the cow-printed bra, his nipples red and abused with bite marks around them that no doubt Francis will be putting band-aids over to not get it irritated in his shirts. His panties were pushed to the side so you could have easy access to his cunt which was just puffy and red already and cum kept gushing out each time you thrust inside him before.
Having an idea, you slowly took your cock out, hearing Francis weakly whine as you did while you felt Francis' inside tried so desperately to keep you in. But once you pulled your cock out, you let out a soft groan seeing your cum gush out from Francis' gaping pussy.
Shit... you really want to go for another round...
"[Name]...?" Hearing Francis weakly calling out your name. You looked away from looking at Francis' abused cunt to look at the man in the face. It was getting even more harder not to plunge your cock inside Francis again seeing Francis tired, teary eyes looking at you. A small pout on his lips. What came out next from Francis' lips made you just snap. "In... inside..."
Fuck it.
Francis' eyes threaten to roll into the back of his skull when you pushed your cock inside him again and you didn't even wait for Francis to take a breath when you began to move. Your thrust more harsher as you put your weight into fucking your cock inside Francis' cunt. Francis lets out moans and cries as he desperately attempts to meet your thrusts, but eventually, Francis just lays there and takes it.
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simphornies · 3 months
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If you're okay with it, I'd like to request a dating Vox x fem!reader where the reader is somewhat of a flirt that loves blue screening the tech overlord(I'm p sure the other Vees would egg her on to do it too cuz it's funny) and while Vox tries to get his revenge- he ultimately ends up crashing and giving the whole city a power outage when dear reader goes: "Good luck! I love you!" Just out of nowhere to wish him luck on something.
A/N: A shorter write to give myself a little break from Deal Breaker. Hope you enjoy, lovely reader <3
Word count: 1.4k ( 1,436 )
Warnings: suggestive content, not quite nsfw
Tease [ Vox x Flirty! Reader ]
Vox sat in his security room, not entirely paying attention to the screens and just scrolling through Voxstagram. He didn’t notice that you had come up behind him to watch whatever he was doing. After a while you decided to graze a finger on the edges of his screen making him jump and glitch.
“Fucking sh-hit!” He screamed, “What are you doing here? When did you get here?”
You giggled, “I’ve been here for a while. Surprised you didn’t hear me.” You played with one of the cables attached to the back of his head, “Senses dulling down, babe?” You tease.
“What do you want, Y/N?” He unplugged himself and got up, fixing the hat on his head.
“The other Vees called for you.” He gives you a look asking what they want to which you shrug in response, “No idea.”
He rolled his eyes and made his way to the elevator with you following closely behind. You looked up at him, admiring the way his eyes looked. He caught you staring at him and looked down. “What?”
“Nothing. Your eyes just look…cute.” You smile. The platform below the two of you begin to rise up into the lobby. “I would love to stare into them while you fuck me silly.” You whispered seductively. As soon as the door opened you skipped out of the elevator, leaving behind a frozen, blue screened Vox.
You approached the Vees. Vox is far behind you trying to recover from his blue screen. Velvette elbows you so she can take a quick selfie with Vox in the background. You held up the peace sign and smiled brightly for the picture. “Did you glitch him or blue screen him this time?” She asks.
“Blue screen.” You say proudly.
Valentino laughed at your accomplishment, “He’s so easy to tease, isn’t he?” He leans down to whisper into your ear, “I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you get him to shut the power down.”
The two of you looked at each other with mischievous eyes and shook on it. “Deal.” You grinned.
.
You laid across the couch, legs dangling over the edge of the corner, listening to one of Vox’s ranting sessions regarding Alastor. Every now and then you’d hum in agreement to his enraged questions. Velvette was next to you but left the room, not entertained by his fit of rage. While you were scrolling through Voxstagram, you get a text from Velvette almost pleading with you to get him to shut up.
You sit up, looking directly at the pissed off demon glitching away in front of you. “And af-aft-ter seven years he comes back?! Like it’s nothing?!” He groaned and paced around quicker. “That motherfuck-cker is going to regret coming back! Hah…I’m going to make him regret coming back!” He stared out the window, fuming with rage, foot tapping on the floor.
You get up and walk behind him, “Wow. You’re really worked up over this radio demon.” Your words triggered another onslaught of raves about how stupid he looked and how annoying he was. Your hands snaked their way up from his back and to his shoulders. You felt him tense up at your touch until you started to massage him, trying to get him to calm down…for now. “Relax~” You purred. “You’ll get him back.”
“Fuck yeah I will. I’ll…I’ll fuck with that hotel thing he’s got going on.” He grumbled, relaxing into your touch.
As soon as you felt him relax completely you pressed up against him. “You’re the strongest overlord in my opinion~” You purred, “So strong~”
You felt his fans kick in, his body and screen warming up. Your hands wandered down to his chest, one of which played with his bowtie and the other one slowly going towards the top of his pants before quickly pulling it back up to further tease him. “I’d love for you to show me how…strong you are in other ways.”
His breathing was uneven. He wasn’t opposed to your flirty nature and seductive advances but he wanted to be the one in control instead of you for once. It drove him crazy that you kept everything. “Y-Y/N—” He stuttered, screen beginning to glitch. He was about to make a move but you pulled away before he could.
“Don’t forget about your schedule for the day. You have an interview to do in 3 hours.” You grinned before exiting his office, leaving an extremely flustered and frustrated Vox behind.
.
“Hey Velv! Have you seen Vox around?” You asked. It’s been a while since you last saw him. Well. It’s been a night.
“Probably in his security room.” She responded, eyes glued to her phone. “Did you check there?”
“I did but I didn’t see him.” You whined.
“Maybe he’s jerkin’ it off somewhere.” She laughed, “You’ve been teasin’ him too much.”
“Without me?” You sarcastically stated, letting out a dramatic gasp, “I’ll go check again. Thanks!”
You made your way to Vox’s room, sneaking around as you usually do. This time, he was there. Out of your view, that is. You huffed as soon as you saw his chair empty. You walked over and sat down on it, looking at the different screens that monitored the whole city hoping to spot him in one of them.
With your guard down he sneaks up behind you, “Well~ What do we have here?” He whispers, making you jump at the sudden break in silence. “Looking for me, doll?”
You turned to look at him, a bit taken aback at his sudden advances. “I have! Where have you been? I’ve been so bored.” You whined and pouted, getting up to put your arms around his neck.
He hums in response, taking a seat and pulling you down on his lap. “Bored from not being able to mess with me?” He chuckled. “You left me hanging yesterday, hours before a meeting.”
You giggled, “Yeah? Whatcha gon’ do about it, Vox?” Your finger began to caress the edges of his screen once more but this time Vox took your hand and got close to you, his tongue licking your neck. You shivered in delight at his move. “Mmmm~ Wow. You’re bolder today.”
He chuckled at your compliment, “It’s frustrating how you have this much control over me. I think I need to remind you who’s the boss here.”
You giggled, “Oh Vox. You’re so cute.” You pushed him off your neck lightly and stared him in the eyes, “Let me remind you who’s in control.”
He opened his mouth to argue back at your statement but before he could say anything, you kissed him. Despite his screen, you feel him kiss you back, his tongue trying to snake its way into your mouth. You denied him, pushing it back with your own. He melted into your figure, instantly forgetting what he said earlier.
Right as he tried to feel you up with his hands, you pulled away leaving him breathless. You get off of him and pinned him back on his chair with a hand on his chest, “You really are so cute when you try so hard~”
You hear his fans kick in and you can tell he was trying his hardest to not glitch at your obvious dominance and power over him. You looked at him seductively, “You wanna show me who’s in control so bad, babe?” You purred, your hand on his chest trailing down to the obvious lump in his pants.
His breath hitched, unaware you were about to leave him hanging once more. “How about we get this tension out the way…” You inch closer to his face, your free hand grabbing his and putting it on your stomach and up to your chest, letting him get a feel of what’s to come, “...later, tonight?”
And with that, he absolutely lost it. He glitched until he ultimately crashed and shut down all power in the city. You giggled at your win and stayed long enough for him to regain a bit of consciousness and purred into his ear, ���Good luck, baby~ I love you!”
You made a run for his door, escaping his lustful, hungry grasp. You hear him glitch behind you, excited for how he’s going to absolutely devour and demolish you in a couple of hours.
.
You get a ping from your phone. A hundred bucks transferred to you from Valentino with a note saying ‘Good job, good luck and have fun~’
You dressed yourself in the lingerie Val had left for you in your room, waiting for Vox to zap in any minute.
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bingqiuhateabortion · 4 months
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The way thousand statues cave scene gets such vastly different reactions and gets interpreted from every different vievpoint is kind of fascinating. My friend told me it was funny af and i've seen people say it was really creepy (iykyk that's why i'm writing this post now) but for me it was just really, really, really damn sad?? Maybe I relate to HC way too much but just imagine two people who you mutually hate and who also have biased opinions towards you and the person you love the most finding your deepest darkest secret you lowkey are ashamed of yourself. The two bitches you despise do everything they can to alienate and turn your crush against you and there's nothing in your power you can do not to make the situation worse than it already is. THAT's fucking horror not a guy having a weird but harmless hobby which he engages in mind you to cope with trauma and eternity of loneliness. And you really thought he's the bad guy bc he was "acting weird" huh
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lady-tortilla-chip · 2 years
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Mike is the Jayce of stranger things to me
He doesn’t suck I just don’t like him
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