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brandnewhuman · 2 years

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BEHOLD THE MALEWIFE

Again

♡ part 2 of random hc ♡

☆ starring ☆

König aka my beloved giant unfairly underrated and overlooked

Tw: mature language, mentions of anxiety, tiny bit of angst like you have to squint really hard

A/N: first i have to thank @bloodlst for giving me so many ideas and for dealing with me and my endless rants about this absolutely scrunkly babe. I SHOULD BE DOING REQUESTS AND YET HERE I AM WRITING FOR A MAN I'VE KNOWN FOR NO MORE THAN A WEEK OR SO. Media is ruining my chances at a normal relationship fr ANYWAY ENJOY

Listen this fucker is the definition of disney Prince when he gets comfortable enough around you

Everytime he talks about his s/o instead of saying you're his he says that he's yours

He feels like it's not as intimate and accurate as he really feels around you to say that you're his

And BTW he brags about you and your public displays of affection to everyone and anyone

Bro has not an ounce of embarrassment in showing he loves you and you love him

He's so charming and smooth but with that sprinkle of awkwardness that makes him ridiculously adorable

He is quite literally a gentleman and worships the ground you walk

In general he's very respectful and lovely with everyone

That's why he tends to like make people crush on him

Which he totally doesn't notice like ever, this man can and will think they're just being overly nice out of pity

He is literally so good at dancing, like it's almost annoying

One could think that him being so tall would make him really stiff and awkward when dancing but he's not

He's as graceful and elegant as ever

Is the only time he gets confident and shows off a little bit his physical appearance

He definitely prefers more elegant dances like waltz and tango ecc

JUST IMAGINE, JUST IMAGINE WHAT DANCE THE TANGO WITH KÖNIG WOULD DO TO YOU.

He has a really hard time at being funny cause he always worries that maybe his jokes are not obvious enough or that he's just straight up not funny

Like he has a shit ton of puns and jokes in his head but says none of them cause he doesn't really knows if people will get it and it's scared of coming off as weird

Most of the jokes are dirty jokes BTW, this man is an absolute child and is making deez nuts jokes left to right inside the confines of his really strange mind

Has really large hands, like not quite big but really long fingers and they're slightly crooked AND EVERYONE WHO HAS LONG FINGERS CAN CONFIRM YOUR FINGIES GET CROOKED

ALSO ALSO when he buys a new phone he doesn't even cares about it being good or not

BRO BUYS THE BIGGEST FUCKING PHONE EVER. HE HATES SMALL PHONES WITH ALL HIS SOUL

He has premature grey hairs. Like he has starting to get them when he was really young

Which ends up in him always having to dye his hair

He loves to go to get groceries

Like he actively gets excited about new products or new things to buy and overall he just enjoys how relaxing and calming is to go to the supermarket

I feel like he's one of those people who are really good at card games like poker ecc

He either ends up broke af cause everyone is merciless with him or he's unbelievably lucky and ends up winning every hand but doesn't takes the money cause he feels bad

It really depends on the day

With board games tho he's definitely a sore loser

Like have you seen how pissy and sarcastic he gets in the game sometimes? You can not tell me this man doesn't hates losing at monopoly

Me and my fellow könig simp @bloodlst have come to the conclusion that he has an involuntary resting bitch face

The fact is that as I said before he clenched his jaw almost always due to anxiety which makes him look like really scary but insanely hot

The moment you make him smile tho it's like you're witnessing some sort of shapeshift witchery

HE HAS THE KINDEST SMILE EVER

He has gone through the most traumatising injuries ever but never seems to notice (?)

Like he has big ass scars in his body and when someone asks about them he tells the story all chill as if he's not talking about him getting fucked up in every possible way

and he like never realises how serious his injuries are in the eyes of everyone else so he's always so confuse as why everyone looks so concern

He chooses his words wisely cause he values the meaning of certain words and doesn't likes to use them lightly

Like he tries not to tell his s/o I love you too lightly or too much cause he wants the phrase to always feels as special as it is for him and not something you said just because

And about that when he's arguing with someone he never says anything he does not mean

That means he will say 100% the truth even if it hurts

That doesn't mean that if he realises he's wrong he won't apologise

He will and will genuinely own his mistakes and take responsibility without using excuses

Like I said before könig is not one who gets angry easily

He has unwavering patience and deals with things very rationally

Like he is used to people treating him as if he was dumb, bullying him and just overall making him feel like bad about his anxiety or himself so it's not surprising he can handle people bring arses very well

He gets upset but always hides it really well

When he does gets mad tho he is going to make you cry

Any filter or shyness goes away and he just snaps and gets really mean really fast

Mean because although he's being honest, he's particularly brutal about it and says things as harsh as possible

But like I said is really hard for him to get that angry

The most that one can do to him is force him to politely excuse himself to go somewhere else and cry it out

He's a really sensitive person and most often than not he just gets sad, he won't stay sad for long but when he does he feels like absolute shit

The things that make him go absolutely apeshit is mostly when people mistreat his loved ones or when people take advantage of someone weaker than them like they used to do with him

When he was younger he used to have a lot of anger issues

He used to feel frustrated all the time with how unfair everyone was with him because of his anxiety

Never got into physical fights but would end up snapping and saying really hurtful things to people he loved

That's why now he tries to be careful with words

He's very proud of the person he has become in some way

He has come a long way and now he's a healthier person than he used to be

He forgives but never forgets even tho he's not the type of person to use past mistakes against someone

He just keeps in mind the thing that had happened and if he doesn't sees any change then he just acts consequently

Hates mint flavour beverages or ice cream and can't understand why people enjoy it so much

I don't know why but I feel like he grow up with his grandparents

He absolutely loved his grandma and used to call her almost everyday

When he buys clothes he doesn't really care about the brand ecc he likes to buys what makes him feel confident or good

Not even what others might like or stuff like that nono

He just buys whatever his funky brain finds pretty

And surprisingly it leads to him having a really good style

#könig cod headcanons #könig #könig cod #könig cod mw2 #könig x reader #codmw2 #cod #cod mw2 #call of duty mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty

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erosastro · 9 months

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My favourite sign(s) for each planet(or asteroid) 💕

💕Sun - Aries, Libra, Aquarius, Sagittarius and Capricorn. I love an Aries friend they are so full of energy and fun to be around and they give the best advice. Libras are so easy to talk to and get along with. Aquarius people are just as weird as me and make you feel comfortable to be yourself. Sagittarius people are funny as hell there's never a dull moment with them and Capricorn Suns are the sweetest souls.

💕Moon - Cancer, Aquarius, Leo and Gemini - I'm absolutely in love with cancer Moons there's just something about them I am so drawn to. Aquarius Moons I get along with really well bc my own moon is in Aquarius so I never feel like I'm over sharing or I'm over emotional because they get it. Leo Moons are underrated, I think they're so optimistic and wonderful. Gemini Moons are funny and know how to cheer someone up.

💕Mercury - Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius and Leo. Gemini and Virgo Mercury placements are so smart and having conversations with them is so refreshing. Sagittarius mercury are fun to talk to and so open-minded. Leo mercuries are dramatic as hell it's quite entertaining.

💕Venus - Aquarius, Cancer, Scorpio, Leo - Aquarius venus placements know the balance between showering you with love and giving you your space. Cancer venus... they love like no other and same with Scorpio. I'm again soooo drawn to scorpio venus placements it's insane. Leo venus placements are super sweet and soft and romantic but fun at the same time. They keep you on your toes.

💕Mars - Scorpio, Virgo, Sagittarius - Scorpio Mars are probably the most determined people I've ever met, they know what they want and how to get it done. Virgo Mars... I really can't explain this one tbh but it's so common in people closest to me. They're silently quite dangerous (in a good way and bad way lol). Sagittarius Mars are optimistic and really ambitious, it's really attractive

💕Juno - Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius - Leo specifically in people I've been with romantically probably because my own juno is Sagittarius, so we naturally click. I'm super attracted to Scorpio juno placements though and I do not know why lol. most of crushes and closest friends have this. if my friends don't have Scorpio juno they have aquarius juno lmao

💕Lilith - Aries, Gemini, Scorpio - Scorpio and Aries lilith yall are nasty af I love it so much lmao. I somehow find myself surrounded by gemini lilith placements and I have no idea why but they're so free-spirited and open-minded and super flexible (in more ways than one lol).

💕Risings - Taurus, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius and Pisces - listen man I can't stand pisces placements for the most part but I won't lie, two of my closest friends are Pisces risings, we just click well. Taurus risings, they're so pretty man and they're so easy to talk to once you start the conversation though lol. Gemini risings and Aquarius risings are unabashedly themselves, and they are LOUD lol. Leo risings are the bad bitches you wanna be friends with. Scorpio risings once again, idk what's with you Scorpio risings, yall seem hard but are such softies and so sensitive, I adore you.

#astro notes #astro observations #astrology #astro placements #aquarius #libra #Aries #virgo #Taurus #Gemini #Leo #Cancer #Scorpio #Sagittarius #Capricorn #pisces

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agustdiv1ne · 5 months

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honestly? it could've been worse.

lots of things happened in 2023, both good and bad, in real life and on this hellsite. i feel like i've started to hone in on my voice as a writer this year, and my creativity and motivation just seemed to skyrocket for absolutely no reason. it's been fun sharing my work with you guys, and i'm forever grateful for all the love and support i have received <3 furthermore, thank you so so much for 4k followers!!!!! i never thought i would reach such a milestone, so it truly means a lot :')

there's a lot i wish i could have done during 2023 that i didn't end up doing, but i think it is best to focus on what i did accomplish and use that as a stepping stone towards better things. also, there were a lot of times where i didn't feel content with where and who i was. right now, however, i can confidently say that i am happy; i am hoping that happiness will be abundant for everyone in 2024! we all deserve it!!

furthermore, everyone worked hard, so i hope you all give yourself some grace in order to recharge and reset. taking breaks is paramount in maintaining your health and happiness, and i'm glad i learned that it's okay for me to take them lol.

so happy new year everyone! i hope 2024 brings many wonderful things your way, and may we all have a lovely year!! <33

to: @gummygowon 🖤

MAIIII hi ilysm <333 i can't believe we've been friends for 3 years like that's fucking crazy. we have both been THROUGH it over the years but i'm so glad that we've always been able to talk to each other about the crazy shit that happens to both of us 😹 like idk who else i could talk about it with honestly. we are seriously like the same person which is so wild to me but i'm also so grateful for it fr!! i would trust you with my life methinks...also talking about fic ideas with you is so fucking fun. our brainstorming sessions go crazy fr ‼️ ANYWAYS i need to stop being sappy so i love you bitch and we WILL meet up this year or else i will riot!!! happy new year <3

to: @lunalovesstories 🖤

lunaaaa hii!!!! my fellow yeonjun stan, we feel the same pain and suffering whenever he is wilding LOL </3 also i feel like we became close super fast hehe ^^ i'm so glad that we became friends this year and i am forever grateful for you and how kind and supportive and overall amazing you are. becoming moots and friends with you was definitely one of my highlights of 2023!! our daily conversations are something i always look forward to no matter how short or long they are; i truly love talking with you and i hope we can continue to get closer this year :) happy new year! <33

to: @cheolhub 🖤

SAR!!!! ik you haven't been super active as of late so i hope you've been well <3 you are genuinely so cool and i love you sm. i think i screamed when we became moots and then when we started actually talking to each other i screamed even more...embarrassing. well anyways moving on! you are so fucking funny and i love hearing about what you're up to whenever you reappear on disc. you singlehandedly made me reconsider my bias line in svt bc cheol is currently infiltrating it </3 also lmk if you ever need me to fight that girl bc i will do it. no questions asked. seriously though, i hope you're thriving in the year of 2024, happy new year <3

to: @toruro 🖤

mika mika mika hiiiii ^^ you are crazy in the best way tbh, i aspire to be as unhinged as you are...LMAO moving on, you are hella kind and such a fun person to talk to! i love hearing about what you get up to bc it's usually funny af. like. you are just so real. you are such a bright spot on tumblr, please never change because you are amazing and ilysm <3 also your writing is insane. i always start gnawing on my leg when i see that you posted bc i know it's gonna be a banger!!!! you never miss!!!!!!! okay anyways ily again and i hope you have a happy new year <3

to: @prodsh00ky 🖤

hi sam!!!!!!! i hope you've been doing well <3 i know our convos are sporadic af but i always enjoy talking to you and hearing all of your updates! i just think you're so cool and i always get so excited whenever i see you pop up in my messages. i also love talking about writing with you because you understand my pain LOL. i know you're quite busy so i hope everything in your life is going well!! i also hope that 2024 brings you great things because you truly deserve it :) happy new year!!!

to: @koqabear 🖤

sol....my enemy >:( i will not forget all of those assassination attempts that you tried on me throughout 2023. trust me, i won't. JK ANYWAYS HFJHHFDJ you are like the coolest most awesome person on this website to me and i am so grateful that we are friends <3 also grateful that we started talking this year after being moots for a long while. i've always wanted to talk to you tbh so i'm glad i stopped being a weak little bitch and finally did it 😹 i will always go insane over your fics and write like a 2k word essay in response each time, so i hope that doesn't bother you...i will not be stopping though so ig it doesn't matter.......anyways, happy new year!! here's to another year on this hellsite <3

to: @boba-beom 🖤

smiles!!! you are such a ray of light on my dash, i swear i always smile when i see that you've posted. i know we don't talk all that often but i genuinely am so grateful that we are mooties n friends :> you are one of my longest moots, and i am so glad that you have stayed on here as long as you have because idk what i would do without you fr <3 you are so talented and kind and just a wonderful person to be around! happy new year!! may you be happy n healthy this year <33

and to all of my lovely mutuals: @nightlyawnzz @wolfytae-exe @aduh0308 @hyuk4ngel @dearlyjun @takemehye @mazeinthemoon @tyunkus @mixtape-racha @huckleberrykai @naomiarai @hyukalyptus @mapofthemazeinthemirror @taegimood @blackhairedjjun @txtistheloml @heart2beom @majestyjun @fairyofshampgyu @ttyunz @huenation @cherrypeeking @tyungelic @ncteez @peachanonie @hyewka @heartchoi @beom-pyu @petrichor-han @hoshiseon @strawbrinkofdeath @delcakoo @beoms-sugar @minastras @0x11s @hwasdollie @mimziie @baekhvuns @wooyukh @venusiangguk @ah-ga-seven @jimilter @ateezmakemeweep

hello and happy new year!! i hope all of you doing well and that 2024 is treating you well so far :) no matter how much/little we interact, please know that i am so happy to be sharing this space with you ^^ that being said, i hope we can interact more this year!!! (i promise i will try to be less shy,, the keyword here is try) you are all amazing people and i love you all mwahhh <333

🖤 — january

27: give me more (m) — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, pwp

🩶 — february

regrettably empty :(

🤍 — march

23: 10:52 p.m. — soobin ; college au, introverts at a party

🖤 — april

04: frat boy!yeonjun

07: confession — chan ; best friends to lovers au + self-care (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, soft smut

08: corruption (m) — hyunjin ; est. relationship au, corruption kink

11: stormy night (m) — seonghwa ; est. relationship au, hwa vs. your fear of storms (he wins)

13: industry lovers — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au, idol!reader

16: guitar lesson — beomgyu ; best friends to lovers au

21: 2:54 p.m. — taehyun ; college lab partner au

🩶 — may

09: picnic date with boyfriend!yeonjun

16: brother's best friend (m) — yunho ; the au is the title lmfao + 10:21 p.m. (m) — soobin ; est. relationship au, car sex + early mornings with boyfriend!yeonjun

19: vacationing with boyfriend!yeonjun

27: 8:02 p.m — hueningkai ; jack frost au

28: cowboy!yeonjun (m-ish)

🤍 — june

01: double trouble (m) — hongjoong + seonghwa ; poly au

03: 9:05 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.1

06: 9:23 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; plane sex pt.2

13: the horrors — yeonjun ; est. relationship au, horror actress!reader

23: txt finding out you have an onlyfans (m)

24: late night outing with boyfriend!soobin

26: dry humping (m) — minho ; pwp

🖤 — july

04: meeting odi for the first time with boyfriend!soobin

08: 12:43 a.m. (m) — yeonjun ; best friends to lovers au + best friend!txt finding out you write smut about them online

started my 3k event: love like the movies!! (which is still ongoing. i'm so sorry)

13: 3k event — yeonjun + howl's moving castle (m)

17: 3k event — beomgyu + titanic (m)

24: 3k event — taehyun + twilight (m)

31: 3k event — hueningkai + enchanted

🩶 — august

05: 11:01 p.m. (m) — yeonjun ; rockstar au + 3k event — soobin + the avengers

11: 11:58 p.m. (m) — yeonjun + taehyun ; stoner fratboys au

26: 3k event — taehyun + the proposal (m)

🤍 — september

02: 3k event — beomgyu + the devil wears prada (m)

12: ticket to nowhere (but your heart) (m) — yeonjun ; strangers to lovers au

21: untitled (m) — beomgyu ; college au, tutor!reader

22: untitled (m) — taehyun ; college au, nerd!taehyun

🖤 — october

03: telepathy (m) — beomgyu ; mind reader au

23: 3:13 a.m. (m) — beomgyu ; vampire au

🩶 — november

07: 9:51 p.m. (m) — soobin ; serial killer au

🤍 — december

started my 4k event: finish my 3k event LMAO

🖤 — writing plans

get my 3k (and now 4k?) event done (#1 priority after i finish my current soobin wip)

rings of saturn (tear me apart) (m) — taehyun ; college au, friends to lovers au

going under (m) — taehyun + kai ; surfers!tyunning, summer fling au

and they were roommates! (m) — choi line ; college au, new roommate!reader

cross (m) — yeonjun ; cyberpunk au, cyborg!yeonjun

wait on me — kai ; college au, cafe au

the language of love (and the woes that accompany it) — beomgyu ; soulmate au

love, unabridged — soobin ; single dad au, neighbors to lovers au

adagio (m) — yoongi ; second chance at romance au

art incarnate (m) — namjoon + seokjin ; cursed!seokjin, museum curator!namjoon, love triangle

and many many more..........you will see. this is just a taste >:)

🩶 — goals for this blog + myself

interact with more ppl! and more often!!

write 150k words?? we'll see...

write longer fics!!

plan a collab event ^^ i've always wanted to host one, and i think this year is the year!

that was long as hell (sorry)...anyways! once again, happy new year!! love you all <3

- ashlee

p.s. check out my 2023 fic recs post here :)

#tumblr is being wonky so i made a separate recs post </3 #also this is a wee bit late but pls ignore that #2023 wrap up #apologies if i missed anyone :(

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thatanimewriter · 1 year

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CLUMSY KITTY.

➳ request: HI ok, so thank for telling me about the unlimited requesting, (I won't send to many dw) here is one that I thought would be a cute idea.SO, we have a Weiss Schnee, Ruby Rose and Neopolitan x gn cat faunus reader who's stupid af and super short. Like shorter than Neo. Only by like 3 or 4 cm but still, they're short. Like a gremlin! They also radiate gremlin energy, by accident. Like they'll be in a store and accidentally knock something over and cause a fire. But then something bad happens, and they suggest something smart? Like what? I thought they were dumb? Yet they surprise us with this smart ass idea??? Hello?? :>

➳ character/s: ruby rose, weiss schnee, neopolitan

➳ warnings: swearing

➳ notes: thank you ashe for the requesttt and sorry for the wait

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 / 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 / 𝐰𝐢𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

── 𝐑𝐔𝐁𝐘 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄.

honestly same

except the faunus part

but same

it can span from you saying

“watch this >:))”

and climbing a tree in record time

but you put all your weight on the one branch that snapped off

and you come tumbling to the ground almost immediately after

even if you land on your feet it’s really funny and people can hear ruby’s laughter no matter where you are in beacon

but when it truly comes down to it

you’re a quick thinker and though it might take her a while to admit it

you always come up with better plans than she could ever-

with the war against ironwood and salem, your personality probably mellowed out a little bit

you were the one who suggested emerald become penny to help ambush ironwood

but you haven’t lost your ability to taunt people for being a little chaotic gremlin

── 𝐖𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐄𝐄.

you drive her insane.

she’s tryna be a cool girlie in school

top student type ish

and here you are

trying to spin your pen

and flinging it across the room by accident

probably into oobleck’s head

and you blame it on weiss every time but never get away with it

for that, you drive her insane

but the thing that truly brings her to check herself in to a psych ward

is when you genuinely suggest a good idea under the guise of stupidity

“wouldn’t it be craaaazy if we, like, split up and while the baddies are focused on the ones they’re fighting, the rest of us can go do what we need to do hehehehe”

bitch wtf-

that’s a good idea??

stop laughing??

── 𝐍𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍.

torchwick hates the both of you

neo will join you in stupid antics sometimes

also she has a new sense of bravado because she’s FINALLY taller than someone

she enables you a lot even if she shouldn’t

like seeing how tall a stack of chairs can go until it tips over if you sit on the top

and then crashing into a pile of crates carrying active dust-

naturally, neo is the one to pat down any uhhh

FIERY patches on your outfit

but you can’t escape torchwick’s scolding

both torchwick and neo often praise you for the strategies you manage to come up with though

like disguising dust as jewellery so you can bring it into functions without being questioned

and without bringing a BAG that they’re gonna ask to check either way

a lot of the time, you drop random tidbits of knowledge

for topics that no one else thought to research until shower thoughts hit

neo appreciates your incessant rambling about how dust manufacturing works and you could hypothetically make your own without the help of these goons

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roomofshroom · 1 year

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my kyman headcanons (18+)

i love others' headcanons so i thought id share my own <3 these are mostly 18+ but not all of them are!! if you dont agree w some of them its ok its mostly for fun!!

hey there's a part 2 !!!!

kyle would mostly call eric cartman and eric would try to secretly find ways to get him to call him eric more

when kyle does occasionally call cartman by his first name it's when they're getting intimate so eric associates kyle calling him by his first name with sexy times and then gets ...excited anytime kyle says his name which makes for some very funny situations

they would hide that they're in a relationship for the first few weeks but their friends would have their suspicions anyways bc they're not fucking blind and the way eric looks at kyle just says it all (not stan tho, mfer is blind af)

they would tease each other, name call each other in front of their friends and their fights would get very heated but for different reasons than others have in mind

cartmans a little brat and enjoys when kyle gets angry so much he purposely makes him angry in front of their friends, just for them to dissappear and angrily make out in a closet or somewhere secluded

stan would be oblivious to that and call cartman an asshole for getting kyle mad and then he'd worry ab his best friend when he suddenly dissappears w/o a trace

kyle doesn't want to admit it but he likes it when eric tries to get him riled up and sometimes he even exaggerates his angry reactions just to see eric get those excited sparks in his eyes

when they finally tell their friends they're together stan throws up (mf was oblivious the whole time), kenny asks them VERY personal questions ab positions they've done together, butters is happy for them and congratulates them, craig says he had known the whole entire time ('you guys are so blindingly fucking gay it's making my eyes hurt'), tweek would hand him 5 dollars (mfers made a bet out of it), clyde would say to tolkien that he's worried ab them checking him out and tolkien would just tell him to stfu bc 'being gay doesnt mean they wanna fuck you, no one wants to fuck you, clyde'

now that everyone knows, eric would brag to everyone ab not being a virgin anymore and jokingly try to go into details ab their sex life which kyle would VERY QUICKLY shut down and blush the entire time

eric now calls stan a virgin million times a day, asks him if hes jealous that hes 'getting that sweet sweet jewish ass' and constantly remind him that hes 'fucking his best friend nya nya nya hahaha' while kyle tells him to stfu

eric gets a stupid fucking tattoo 3 month into the relationship something like a fucking arrow pointing to his ass saying 'kyle was here' or i dont fucking know, anyways kyle would hate it and call him fucking insane

when kyle finds himself in a deep convo w anyone else thats not their friend or eric himself, eric always interrupts to make SURE they know kyle's HIS man so 'don't try to steal my man bitch' while he snaps his fingers and leaves w a dramatic hair whip (nonexistent long hair)

eric would be very veeeeery clingy while kyle would get slightly controlling sometimes just to quickly realize and get mad at himself (eric loves it when kyle's controlling and jealous so he doesn't mind)

eric would cry and whine about the dumbest shit ever ('mom said im not allowed my xbox bc i keep yelling at others in the game to kill themselves waaa khal, isnt she such a fucking bitch?') and kyle has to comfort him bc 'that's his boyfriend duty', kyle would call him a fucking crybaby which would only cause cartman to cry louder forcing kyle to shut him up somehow (maybe with a kiss)

#kyman #kyman headcanons #kyle x eric #kyle x cartman #sp kyman #sp kyle broflovski #sp eric cartman #south park headcanons

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mercyedes · 2 months

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What caught your eye about hambone? First I thought he was silly bc of the gold teeth but I learned more about the real hambone and I love him sm!! <3 the actor is so beautiful

my first watch of mota when he showed up in ep 1 & the end of ep 2, i recognized him as "wtf this dude has gold teeth oh he's defo a fuck boy" but didn't think much of ham LMAOOO i was still madlyyyy obsessed w/ buck and crosby i didn't have time for my eyes to wander <3

wait hold on i wrote way more than i thought i would lemme read more. i love hambone. he is everything to me

and then like episode 5 came around and i kept rewatching the first couple of episodes and i should've known better because i KNEW he was (is) fine as fuck i simply could not ignore it any longer. i always love the off-putting pretty bitches and hambone is exactly that, an off-putting pretty bitch. i was endeared by his bright ass blonde hair because it reminds me A LOT of an f1/f2 driver i love (liam lawson) so i feel like i kinda was set up from the beginning to be partial to this tall blonde pretty boy 😩💜

AND JUST LIKE YOU when i decided i was way too curious and enamored to ignore hammy's existence any longer, i just started researching more about real ham and just fell in love with brady's crew in general and found hammy so interesting and cool -- there is a part in a wing and a prayer where crosby writes about how hambone (unlike harry) genuinely wanted to get to the war and during training he was worried the war would already be won and over before he got the chance to go fight in it. and another member of brady's crew wrote in a journal he kept about how, while they were still in the U.S., all of brady's crew agreed with one another that they didn't wish to fight for the honor and medals of it all, they just wanted to go do their jobs, help return the world to something peaceful, and then go home. we love humble kings. anyway this is a side note but i'm ngl i feel like sometimes people in the fandom kinda mischaracterize/"Fanon"-ize hambone a lot and it sometimes rubs me the wrong way. but that's just me

obviously he probably still counts as a minor character in MOTA, but idk i love the character jordan still portrayed, he's a lil weirdo and a little silly with his gold teeth of course, but i fully love the bits of personality we got from him <33 he's a funny, witty boy with pride and confidence about his job (bombardiers r so hot it's just true. they are sexy af being competent) but also stubborn and a little aloof and easily irritable, doesn't seem to be all too bothered by being overly kind to people he doesn't know/we often only see him socializing with people from brady, crank, or blakely's crews (all men who irl hambone shared barracks with and had close ties to !) ... i love a dude who keeps to himself / doesn't feel the desire to step too far outside of his close social circle, it makes him even more intimidating imo and i love it. he's so hot. he's like a cryptid to me and i find his freaky vibes insanely alluring. like even the cat killing CANNOT put me off, if anything it made him sexier idk why .... like he's a lil vicious yes but he's also a resourceful bastard like that, like brady said protein is protein & hambone was very kind to his buddies to make them cat soup <3

ALSO he's just very very fun to write. i adore writing him he's so interesting.

#WELCOME TO MY HAMBONE HAMILTON RAMBLING HOURS. this is also the sweetest ask to ever receive anon i love you for giving me the chance to #absolutely yap about hammy . because he is so fucking beloved to me. <333333 ur so right also jordan is beautiful it's kind of inhuman #.asks

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sakebytheriver · 1 year

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There was drama behind the scenes in Community? Do you feel like you want to elaborate?

Oh my gosh there was so much drama 😭😭

I'm surprised you haven't heard about it, it's like the biggest dark cloud that hangs over that show.

Okay, so here we go this is going to be such a long post,

Dan Harmon and Chevy Chase were both competing to be the biggest dick working on the show, in the end Chevy won, mostly because Dan recognized the error of his ways and worked to change, but the point is Chevy saw himself as this big time Hollywood legend due to being one of the first cast on SNL, and so his over inflated ego did not enjoy the long hours on set or the way they were writing his character (of course a lot of how they wrote his character was in response to his own bad behavior) and so he acted like a little bitch all the time, if you've seen the show there's an episode where Pierce throws a tantrum and then goes to hide in a trailer the whole episode, that's basically how Chevy would act on set, most of the cast ended up hating him too because of his behavior and the writers had to find ways to limit his on screen time replacing him with a body double because he did not want to work as long as the rest of the cast and because Community was this insane show that had off the wall concepts for their episodes and scene concepts that would only last two seconds in the final product but would take entire days setting up filming locations and dressing the sets the days and the hours were Long af and so the more crazy concepts the show ventured into the less Chevy wanted to be there and so in turn he ended up clashing heads with Dan Harmon the other dick in this story, now Dan Harmon was the show runner and creator of Community, he is the mastermind behind the whole thing, but at this time he was pretty much at rock bottom for his entire life and his behavior, he was an alcoholic, he was sexually harassing a woman who worked under him, and he happily provoked Chevy Chase's little bitchiness in public, going as far as to play an angry voice message Chevy left him into the microphone on stage at a fan convention to a room full of fans and the media.

In response to all of this bullshit the studio fired Dan Harmon and replaced him with two guys whose only experience running a show was a racist show called Aliens in America about a white family that wanted to get a hot cool European exchange student to make their nerdy son cool, but instead got a brown dorky foreign exchange student with a funny accent and weird food, the show lasted one season and was promptly forgotten by the entire world for very good reason 😬

Anyways these two guys were brought in to showrun the infamous Season 4 of Community, otherwise known as the gasleak year. Now, these new showrunners weren't enough to make Chevy happy and he was still a little bitch most of the time and his coworkers were very unhappy with him for getting the guy who turned this show into a cultural icon fired. But they did season four and it was a big pile of shit, there's a couple episodes from that season that are worth watching, the body swap episode written and directed by Jim Rash is one, but for the most part this season is a write off, it's not that it was bad, it was honestly a lot better than most shows out there, but it was really really bad in the context of the rest of Community. It was a season desperately trying to be the show that came before it and it just utterly failed, trying to capture the magic that was Community without knowing how to do that.

Anyways, after this Joel McHale, the actor playing Jeffery Winger and a man who calls Community the best thing that ever happened to him went to the studio and said, "you gotta bring back Dan Harmon" and ultimately, the new showrunners were sacked, Chevy left, and Dan Harmon was brought back to the show.

Season 5 premiered with an episode called, Repilot that brought our now Greendale six instead of seven back together in a way that felt like coming home again after your first semester at college, bittersweet in that way that makes you feel like everything has changed, but nothing has moved. They lost Donald Glover in the fifth episode of the fifth season playing Come Sail Away by the Styx and now the show only had five of the original cast that made up the community we follow and by the end of season five the show was canceled at NBC and even when the giant cult fanbase raged at them they still refused to bring the show back for that iconic Six Seasons and a Movie Abed so often proclaimed in the text of the show

Until of course a streaming service that no longer exists called Yahoo!Stream came in and spent $42 million dollars for one singular season of Community (and two other shows apparently) and the fans were overjoyed to get their final season even if we also lost another key part of the main cast Yvette Nicole Brown to get it. Now the show had lost almost half the original cast, lost its showrunner, had a shit season, then got its showrunner back, got canceled at its original network, and now brought back for an internet streaming service in the days when Netflix still mailed people DVDs, and so this is the mindset they went into Season 6 for. The final season of the show had lost the fun whimsical tone of the golden age of the first three seasons, but still had the wacky zany adventures now couched in this sad feeling of reality that the end is coming soon, but then the last episode flashes a black screen that says "and a movie" and the fans had hope

Of course until Yahoo!Stream goes bankrupt and blames Community for it and that movie never comes.

Dan Harmon goes on to make Rick and Morty and a podcast called Harmontown where he admits to his horrific behavior on the set of Community and apologizes to his victim in a way that makes her feel vindicated and satisfied that he has changed his ways and moved forward with his life crawling his way out of his rock bottom to make a career far surpassing anything Community ever gave to him. While Chevy Chase has all but fallen into obscurity as he still does not accept that he did a single thing wrong ever. And now in the year 2023 we are getting the final chapter of the Community story in the form of a Peacock streaming movie that will most likely bring back almost every character and actor except for Chevy Chase

And that is the very very abridged version of the bts drama that haunted Community for six seasons and now a movie 😭😭

#ignore me #ask #answered #community #community nbc #six seasons and a movie #esevik

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mrs-toohot · 8 months

Text

This week's episodes: Live react

Candace is taking my man on a date? I'm gonna have thoughts.

(Also my MC's name is Sophie)

Firstly, he'd better say no.

Okay, so he can't say no. Fuck.

Awww 'the look on his face turns from shock to reassurance when he notices your expression'

"You know you have nothing to worry about, right? You and I are solid." aw omg stop??? so cute

"I'd never break your heart, Sophie, you know that, right?"

Oh we're getting three stress tests

"What if Wesley is already making out with Candace?" Nora STFU you bitch lol. If we were friends that would be funny, but we're not so shut your slut whore bitch mouth.

How insecure do you have to be to press the button because you found out that she's 22 and American? Like wtf? Yeah cool she's a model, but Jesus Christ, do you really think your man is going to fall over himself that easily? HE'S ON TV! HE'S BEING JUDGED FOR HIS ACTIONS!

'No, I trust Wesley' is obviously my choice.

"There's nothing hotter than a guy who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go for it."

Yeah, cool, but this is just telling me that she wants him. Again, I am not phased.

Again, trusting Wesley. This is easy af

'Candace is perfection incarnate' Yeah but she's also got pink hair and my man's a CEO like fr he wants a WOMAN not a GIRL.

Okay as predicted, Candace is Cassia's ex (Lucky Candace... damn...)

'If she sees even a small opening with Wesley, she'll jump on the opportunity'.

Um yeah but she's not gonna.

God, this would be so much harder on a loyal Ryder route. I'd be genuinely shaking in my uggs rn.

Yay, I passed the easiest test in the world

Seriously you would have to be insanely jealous to fail this, the fuck???

Oh sweet we get $10k!!!

Ancient Greece Party!!! Writers should've made it a Roman Empire party just to keep it current and up to date

Amari - I've always wanted to dress like a goddess Antoine - You don't do that already? Could've fooled me.

EXCUSE! ME! SIR! YOU'D BETTER HAVE THOSE LINES ON MY ALTERNATE ROUTE!

Why is Wesley literally in underwear tho

NO HE DID NOT JUST GREET ME LIKE THAT

"Sophie! There's my girlfriend!"

"I'm not interested in pursuing a taken person".... Why does this fill me with dread. What is she going to do? Is she gonna try and break us up and THEN pounce on him?

Cute toga, omg that one hairstyle (you know which one) it is CUTE

"His jaw goes slack as he takes you in" dear god who is writing these LIs and can you please take over LITG

OH HE LOOKS SO FUCKING HOT FJDKHGSBF

HE'S GOT A LITTLE LIGHTNING BOLT EARRING GUYS LOOK AT HIM

You suddenly feel shy under his smouldering gaze. (Oooof)

'I can't remember if I've ever mentioned, but my parents own a hotel nearby'

Yes babe you did but please take me aside and tell me exactly what you're planning on doing to me once we get there.

I am teetering on the edge of BFFs with Cassia, and then I'm hoping I can jump her bones. She's so hot I stg

Amari's outfit is so boring

NORA'S OUTFIT IS SO CUTE

Elena's outfit is so mid

ANTOINE'S GOT WINGS bhfkdsfasdhvdbs HAHAHAHHAHAHAH he's so fucking extra I can't

SLAY NAOMI I LOVE YOUR BUTTERFLIES

ONCE AGAIN ZAYN'S OUTFIT IS TOO MUCH he's got a lion head as a dick cover wtf hfkdbsahs

Excuse me while i thirst over cassia deeply

Blah blah blah playing beer pong with Wesley

WYM YOU'RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE NAOMI

WHY YOU BEEN SPENDING TIME WITH HER

THIS IS MAKING ME MORE JEALOUS THAN THAT DATE EVER DID

bdhsfksdahfsd me distracting him though ahehehehehehhe

"That was a dirty trick, love."

Yeah, I know, that's why I did it. Now do it back.

OH ANTOINE'S TELLING AMARI HE LOVES HER aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww

Since when are they that serious the fuck

"Should I say something to Amari?" About Antoine being noncommittal? When he's been all in for me since day one in my other playthrough? Nah babe, I'm good. I believe it.

Aww Wes brought me brekkie. OJ.

AWWW HE WANTS TO LEARN TO COOK FOR ME BECAUSE HE'S SHIT AT IT of course he is, he's never had time to cook because he's been too busy working.

WESLEY SLEEPS NAKED WESLEY SLEEPS NAKED OH MY GOODNESS HE'S GOING TO MAKE ME BREAKFAST WITHOUT ANY CLOTHES ON

Oh Lana's got snitching to do sigh.

WHAT THE FASHIONNOVA IS ZAYN WEARING HSKADFHBSDA

Oh Zayn and Nora in the suite?? I see I see.

okay i forgot to write during the workshop because Wesley

Literally stop Antoine and Amari are wearing matching outfits CEASE

Okay wait...

I decided to stay out of it, and Zayn and Nora got back. Lana annoucned they broke the rules, and then the game glitched back to my conversation with Amari about Antoine in the bathroom???

URGH i had to restart the episode.

skipping skipping skipping

Even though I'm replaying this i still forgot to take screenshots of the workshop. But trust me Wesley's dialogue is REALLY CUTE

muaahahhaha the benefit of getting a glitch is that now I know NOT TO TRUST ZAYN AND NORA

ha 'IMMEDIATELY WESLEY IS ON YOUR SIDE'

They learned from last season where people got SO MAD at Liam & Henri hahahahah

AW IS RYDER GOING!?!?!?

UM UM UM WHAT THEFUCK IS WESLEY GOING ON ABOUT? "What if Sophie walks away once I tell her?!"

BABE TELL ME WHAT!??!?!?

SOMEONE GET A BETTER SCREENSHOT THAN THIS PLEASE HUFDSHKAVFSBJASD I NEED A NEW SCREENSAVER

#thth2 #too hot to handle game #ththg #ththgame #thth #thth game #thth wesley

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imhereformr · 8 months

Text

S3 E2 Valtor's Mark

Mermaids are fucking gorgeous omg

Somethings changed them. You don't fucking say 😂

The trix falling for Valtor is weird af and I hate it

I can wait a little longer. Finally a villain with patience!

Tecna's computer just has a big X on it. Guess she's having no luck.

I've decided to travel light... Stella, babe. Just cause you miniaturise it, doesn't mean it's light 😂

Can't believe Bloom has never been to Solaria yet

Why did Stella unminiaturise her baggage to give it to the poor servant?

A yes, in front of this super cool galaxy thing, Bloom decides to have a trademark Bloom moment of melodrama

I would kill for Musa to hear Stella say a princess's life is so hard. I just think the ensuing fight would be real funny

King Radius will always think she's better than me... Chimera, bitch, that's his daughter and heir. Of course he thinks she's better.

So Chimera does know what Stella looks like and still chose to antagonize her... That seems brilliant.

It might not look like it now, but this could very well be the beginning of a lasting and beautiful friendship. Bloom truly is delulu

Pre-party parties? PARTIES? Plural?

Skipping right over Chimera's Medusa hair to mention that Stella's cake layers are crooked.

It's also got a bunch of smiley faces 🙂

Honestly Chimera did them a favour ruining that cake

I hate her. I'd give anything to be like her... Chimera come on...

Cassandra and Chimera took absolutely no convincing whatsoever

AHHHHH Musa looks so beautiful 😍😍😍😍😍

Why are Brandon and Sky in their RF uniform? This is a royal function...

Where are Riven, Timmy and Helia? Why was it never explained why they didn't go? Why did we not get to see Riven's reaction to his girlfriend looking like an angel? This is truly robbery.

Brandon's jaw dropping 🥰👌🏻

Radius is a terrible father. Who the fuck steals the attention on their daughters big day to announce their engagement?

Stella hoping her parents get back together is still completely insane

Radius gives zero fucks about how sad his daughter is while dancing with him.

Okay Cassandra spelled Radius but why is no one else at that ball like but... We just saw Stella become a monster? Radius wtf?

Alive or not? Chimera wtf

So I'm gonna assume these guards are completely mindless or that Cassandra spelled them too

You know Brandon and Sky were waiting for an opportunity to jump out of a window

HOLY FUCK THEY'VE FINALLY REMEMBERED THEY HAVE WINGS!!!!

Sky saying they'll get out without a single scratch as his girlfriend basically blows up a tower is peak comedy.

Musa why the fuck are you just yelling Oh No as Stella falls. YOU HAVE WINGS AND MAGIC. FUCKING USE IT.

#Alex watches winx #winx club #winx #winx musa #winx riven #winx stella #winx tecna #winx bloom #winx flora #winx brandon #Winx sky #Winx Helia #Winx Timmy #Winx Aisha #Winx Layla #season 3 #rewatch

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jeanmoreaux · 2 months

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literally yes to all i could not fall asleep either 😭

i think what's so bRILLIANT about tsc (besides, like, everything) is that nora seemed really nervous that her vision for the story and characters would get swallowed by the HCs the fans have been cooking for years, and while that still could happen in book 2, i felt like while i was reading it her vision was my vision - like i am positive we as fans have influenced her story and maybe jerejean won't turn into anything (i'll eat my arm fr) but that bitch at the very least was like "okay sure fine i'll give you mutual attraction" "i'll give you jerejean friendship and intimacy even if i may not give you sex or romance (just yet)"

and i think the other thing i was so overjoyed about was that even though the og AFTG is definitely (clearly) very queer, nora really stepped up and took it to a whole new level in this one with both the representation and just the overall tone - that like not only are a lot (all????) of the trojans open and together and so incredibly gay, but they're shaping the story and jean and making it less shameful to be gay in exy. like og aftg spent a lot of time being like "don't be gay! this is bad! you can't do this!" and while jean still harbors that (for his own fucked up reasons i'm gonna kms) it's obvious that the tone for this book is so much brighter and gayer.

and! the parallels between neil's story and jean's!!! like obviously we could write essays on that topic alone but in conjunction with that point i just made - seeing the similarities between the house taking in jean and the foxes taking in neil (his lack of possessions, their protectiveness, their attempts to normalize him, their creation of a safe space for him) literally made me want to gouge my eyes out it was so beautiful and sweet and fun and QUEER. like aftg always had aroace undertones and such a huge part of the aro/ace experience is friendship and queer friendship at that and so to get to see this kind of found family play out AGAIN but in a slightly different way with a whole group of gays who are out and proud and happy is just......everything

like it's not that i was *worried* persay because i do trust nora but you never know what you're gonna get with spin-off sequels and this fandom is like a rabid dog and so for her to bravely return to this world after years is amazing in itself but to do it in a way that is.......dare i say.......almost......better than the original.......it blows my mind. and it makes me appreciate the original series in new ways now that we'll have more info on the ravens and all of their bullshit. like i literally am sitting here being like....so....series reread tn queen????

if i wasn't insane before (i was) then i sure as hell am now

also. can we talk about jeremy's cheesy af dialogue that makes me squeal? thinking about him saying hecka with his full chest....i love that man

holding hands 🤝✨ felt alive yet so dead once i was done.

also what a glorious ask. i can co-sign all of this and i don’t think i have anything to say that adds value to your points. you’re so right.

nora is so brave for letting us back into that world. because as much as i love and adore this fandom’s passion, it can be intense is a quite negative way at times. so yes, nothing but respect for nora coming back and giving us Her version of the story. the small nods to us (blond jeremy, frosted tips, the cardboard dog etc.) were so very endearing. and i don’t want her to betray her integrity just for the sake of fanservice. i trust her to deliver a great story, even when some of the things i might want to happen will not end up being anything (e.g. jerejean). nora’s vision will feel right because whatever she decides to do and wherever she decides to take this story i know will make sense. it’s very funny to me that you mentioned how you think tsc might be better than the original because i had the same thought. i am hesitant to really settle on it one way or the other yet; mainly because i tend to get very excited about new, shiny things, but also because we don’t have book 2 yet and i think to really Know i have to consider the story as a whole. but you can definitely see that nora improved as a writer in general (which ofc makes sense.)

i fear this will remain THEE aftg year for me. i am already tempted to reread. i don’t think i’ll know a moment of peace from this story in the foreseeable future but i am not gonna complain i’ll just lean into it and indulge.

godddd i expected to love jeremy but i didn’t expect to fall for him this hard. several time i caught myself studying his way of engaging with people and made some mental notes. he’s so special to me. i think once we get his backstory it will get even worse. and he does offer a very different perspective and attitude that’s so very refreshing while still being in tune with what we are used to.

#looove this message with all my heart <3 #thank you so much for sharing all these thoughts!!!#tsc #tsc spoilers #mish reads tsc

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namor-shuri · 1 year

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Your tags on my venn diagram post are gold and should be a fic.

LMAOOO not me forgetting y’all read my tags 😭 Look, your venn diagram is accurate af and I really hope you bless us with more. The world wants to see these talented men come together and team up on a project [or in my case, tag team me]. But hey, I support both scenarios. Your fic comment got me thinking “what if I actually wrote a fantasy, porn without plot one shot about them?” So then I attempted it [HEAVY on attempt because I haven’t written a fic before 🥲] But here goes nothing *gulps*. Hope you like it op! @scruffylookingpiratecaptain 💗 *deletes my entire account and moves across state lines afterwards* lol

- - - - - - - - x x x - - - - - - - -

Gael Bernal Diego Luna Tenoch Huerta Pedro Pascal Oscar Isaac

“I want to fuck like we’re filming in the valley.”

**Warnings/ Disclaimers: NSFW, 18+, group sex, language, fiction [this is only intended to be fantasy], porn without plot**

We have a routine down. They stop by my apartment Friday night, fuck me, we eat together, and then they leave. Repeat. No cuddles. No pillow talk. No strings attached. No bullshit. Just straight fucking. I would be lying through my teeth if I said I didn’t develop feelings somewhere along the way for each and every one of them, but I’ll take that to my grave.

It wasn’t always like this.

It first started off with just Tenoch and I. We met one another through a drunk threesome one night after a friend’s birthday party. We instantly clicked and he quickly learned how to turn me on. The man could make me cum round after round till I forgot my first and last name. He knew all the right buttons to push and he got me hooked on him quickly. His dick game drove me insane and I hated that it admittedly elevated my standards for any man who was blessed to be entangled in my sheets. We became a casual “friends with benefits” type of a situation until one day he wanted to spice things up between us.

“Have you ever had sex with more than one guy at the same time?” He asks me out of the blue while we chill at a nearby cafe.

To my surprise, he wanted to add more guys to the mix. I wasn’t opposed to the idea but was honestly a little concerned at first.

“I want to watch other guys fuck you while I take part. That would be so fucking hot, you know? And I promise you would be safe, no funny business. I know these guys. They’re good guys, trust me. What do you think?”

Call me a whore. Lonely. Bored. A pick me. A girl with daddy issues. Some twenty-something big tit wide-eyed naive bitch finding intimacy in all the wrong places. Whatever. I could care less. I don’t need the judgement from my girlfriends, friends, family, or coworkers and I sure as hell don’t need it from you. The only thing that was running through my mind in that very moment was having an adventure and so I kept our little arrangement to myself. No one has to know.

I sipped my drink watching him over the rim of my cup. He met my gaze with those curious eyes of his like he was trying to read my mind. I looked down and smirked, finally swallowing.

“I’m in.”

*bzzzzz*

Like clockwork, Tenoch always came by my apartment first. I opened the door to the sight of this goober holding a pack of beers and striking a funny pose with damp curls. He must of showered before heading over because he smelled heavenly.

“Hey beautiful.” He kissed my forehead then waltzed right in, draping his stuff over a nearby chair.

We made small talk about his shit boss and how she underpays her staff. “And now she’s doing layoffs!” In this economy?? I crack open a couple of beers for us and hear the doorbell ring. “Tenoch, can you get that?” Diego and Oscar are here. Funny enough, they live in another apartment complex only a couple of streets down. What are the odds, right? Shockingly it’s not weird, but hopefully it stays that way.

Tenoch throws a movie on while I pop open a bag of chips Oscar brought over. Gael swings by next and as always, without fail, Pedro comes last. Hours later, I might add!

“Sorry for the delay guys, I had an emergency come up.”

We all boo him in unison while Tenoch throws a cheeto at his head.

“I don’t deserve this abuse! I promise I have a good excuse this time.” Pedro chuckles, dodging another chip successfully.

Yeah don’t feel bad for him. This fucker always has an “emergency”. He couldn’t be on time if his actual life depended on it.

“Blah blah blah. Just hurry up and sit down. You’re interrupting an important part of the movie dipshit. Mulan is meeting Mushu.” Oscar excitedly motions him over to the couch like we all haven’t seen this masterpiece 50+ times already.

I giggle and look around at everyone enjoying themselves. I have a lot of fun with them. I mean outside of our little scheduled orgy we got going on, I truly enjoy their companionship. I know they have my back and I have theirs. I wouldn’t dare be sappy and say this out loud but I love these guys and would do anything for them.

What’s wild to me is even though we have made this a routine by now, they still get shy around me before we start. No one wants to make me feel uncomfortable and I appreciate that more than they’ll ever know, but someone has to have the balls to make the first move. Thankfully, Diego does. He starts to massage the back of my neck while we all laugh at Mushu screaming “dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!” He looks over at me and notices me purr in approval. While his hand works out the kinks in my neck, he leans in and sensually kisses the side of my neck licking all the way up to my earlobe, catching it in between his teeth. He whispers sweet nothings in my ear about how gorgeous I am and how he can satisfy me better than any of these so called “men” here. I know it’s all for the fantasy factor but fuck does it turn me on. Only I can hear his ramblings and that gets me even hotter. He invades my personal space and breathes me in deep. I tilt my head and expose my throat to him like a cat on it’s back surrendering. Mark me, Diego. I start to squirm in my seat. I can feel my wetness already pooling in my panties.

My whimpers play over the movie and Oscar proceeds to join in on the fun. He directs my attention towards him and softly cups my cheek before going in for a blistering kiss. I close my eyes and let him lick into my mouth greedily. I surrender to his demanding touch while Diego starts to leave a trail of hickeys from my neck down to my clavicle.

Gael gets up from the other side of the couch and kneels down in front of me. He carefully unties my shoes and slips off my socks. He starts to caress my legs and massage my feet, looking up at me with heat behind his eyes. I watch his eyes shift to peek underneath my skirt. I’m trying to get friction to my clit by grinding my thighs together but Gael holds my legs in place with a strong grip. He then slides his hands slowly up my thighs till he gets to his destination. He hooks his finger over the top of my lingerie and brings them down one inch at a time, leaving a trail of hot kisses along the way.

I shutter as the air immediately exposes my wetness, revealing my sweet arousal. Gael finally slips my panties off and takes in its dampness. Oscar distracts me by gliding his hand over my breasts till he settles on my neck, roughly gripping my throat while he licks up into my ear.

I yelp.

“Be gentle.” Tenoch possessively asserts while he comes over and starts to pull his shirt over his head, exposing his happy trail and tattoo.

“Calm down. I’m only doing what the slut likes.” Oscar counters, looking over at Tenoch with a challenging stare before directing his sexual frustration back to me.

“Isn’t that right, baby? I want to hear you beg for Daddy.” He taunts while I make eye contact with him through submissive eyes. I’m thoroughly turned on right now and he knows it. Oscar’s tight grip on my neck is sending me over the edge and I want more. I need more. His authority is sending waves of pleasure through out my entire body and my hair raises on my arms. My pierced nipples start to harden and peak through my shirt and a wave of desire goes straight to my cunt.

Diego ceases to kiss my shoulder and looks down at my pebbled flesh.

“Well, would you look at that. Our brat likes to be choked.”

Diego goes to undress my top half and unclasps my bra with a swiftness. My breasts spill out of their cups one by one and he fondles one nipple as he laps up the other in his mouth eagerly. My breath hitches. I bite my lip, holding in a strangled noise.

Pedro moves over to my line of vision and begins to unbotton his pants in front of me, giving me a show. He starts touching himself as we lock eyes and creates a mess in his jeans. He whips out his exuding member and I shamelessly stare, taking in all of its glory. He watches me watch him and delights in the attention. This fucker.

“You like what you see, sweetheart? It’s all yours, just be a good girl and open your mouth wide for me.”

I love it when he calls me his good girl and tells me what to do. He doesn’t repeat himself twice. Ever. Whatever Pedro wants, Pedro gets. I pay the consequence if I misbehave. But God, do I love misbehaving.

I don’t budge one inch and go to kiss Oscar, dismissing Pedro’s very existence. That sets him off. Mission accomplished.

“Alright, play times over Princess.” he snarls.

Pedro yanks me away from Diego and Oscar by my hair and forces me forward to the edge of the couch, bringing me at eye level with his hardened cock. He holds my head firm in place as he steadily rubs his throbbing wood over my lips, painting them with his pre-cum. His breath goes ragged and his composure quickly diminishes. He wants this badly, but so do I. Pedro shoves his dick past my lips to the back of my throat without warning and I can see his pupils blow from his dominance over me. He tastes like sea salt and musk. I bring my hands up to grip his shaft and brace myself on his waist, sliding back and forth. He’s rough with me and forces me all the way down till my nose touches his pubes. I gag and my eyes starts to water. He finally releases his grip on me, and I exhale and spit on his dick. I go in for seconds and savor the taste, licking circles around his sensitive tip.

“Ah, just like that.” He affirms, letting his head fall back.

Everyone moves to claim a piece of my flesh to grab, squeeze, suck or fuck. I aspire to be their personal fuck toy to use and abuse for their own selfish gain. Is that too much to ask for?

Oscar repositions me on the couch so that I’m flat on my back as I resume sucking Pedro off. He pushes my skirt up out of the way and coats his fingers with saliva. He begins to slick up my folds, steadily working his way into my tight entrance. “Look at you.” He coos. He kneels down and without hesitation shoves his face into my juices and begins to devour me whole. He licks a line from my tight asshole to my sopping pussy lips and engulfs my clit with his large tongue. He hums around it, sending a wave of vibration to my core.

I loudly moan with Pedro’s penis down my throat, generating a low growl from him. I take him out of my mouth and start to plead as Oscar relentlessly works my sensitive clit with no sign of letting up. He sets my body aflame with little to no effort and it’s truly diabolical.

Tenoch comes to my side and begins to gently massage my breasts, bending down and taking one nipple in his mouth while he jerks himself off. Oscar prys my legs open to stop me from squirming. The overwhelming sensation of his scruff on my bundle of nerves is killing me and the mix of pain and pleasure is intoxicating. Gael grabs my calf and begins to suck my toes, one by one while touching himself. He closes his eyes and takes his time savoring them greedily. He sucks and sucks like he’s making love to them and perverted noises start to fill up the room. My body riddles with ecstasy and the heat in my lower belly grows.

Diego squeezes some lube on his hand and continues to jerk himself off while watching this provocative scene unfold in front of him. He comes over to my side and replaces his hand with mine on his leaking erection. I slowly jerk him off while not breaking eye contact with him.

I can feel my arousal taking over. My brain is having trouble functioning and focusing on one particular thing at once. I am incoherent. I know I definitely heard my phone go off three separate times by now. Mulan is already beating Shan Yu’s ass on the roof. My AC unit turned off about an hour ago and it’s hot as shit in here. But none of these distractions matter to me right now. My ears tune into the sweet symphony of their joint moans and hisses, while I witness their hungry eyes fixate on me, mouths slightly parted in a fucked out bliss. The air is thick with sweat, sex and sin.

I come to and feel Oscar between my legs as I jerk Diego off with purpose while Pedro tilts my head towards him and fucks into my mouth, panting with each thrust. I create a tight vacuum, swallowing him with intense suction that my lips create a *pop* sound when I let go. He curses under his breath in satisfaction.

Tenoch breaks things up and takes control. He grabs hold of me and tears me away from everyone’s touch. He picks me up with one arm and lays back on the couch’s sweaty surface before positioning me on top of him. I straddle his waist and lean down for a kiss, exchanging fluids in a raunchy french kiss. He matches my energy and sucks on my tongue. Fuck, he’s such a freak. We continue to make out as he reaches over my ass and rubs my entrance in a circular motion, slowly dragging his thick digits along my folds. Tenoch replaces his fingers with his slick dick and coats his penis in my juices before tapping himself on my clit. Oscar prepared me for the taking and Tenoch is about to have his way with me. His thick cock promptly slides right into my walls and we moan in each other’s mouths. I’m convinced my vagina was made to please him. I try and adjust to his thickness, slowly making room for his size. My greedy cunt eventually swallows him whole. He gasps in approval. I dig my nails into his big chest as I begin to ride him, throwing my head back. Oscar promptly grabs my neck from behind and whispers nasty shit in my ear while I take Tenoch’s cock like a good girl. Tenoch holds onto my waist with a bruising grip, displaying his possessiveness over me. He sits up on one elbow and sucks my sensitive nipples, playing with my piercing with his tongue in a circle motion. My cunt flutters around him, making him buck.

Goosebumps break out all over my skin as a chill runs down my spine. I whine loudly, succumbing to my pleasure in waves. The sounds of Tenoch’s dick slamming into my tight hole as my ass cheeks hit his pelvis is delicious and it makes me wetter each thrust. He’s giving it to me so good right now but Oscar decides to test how much I can truly take at once.

He cups my ass and halts my bouncing. Tenoch’s member slowly slides out. He grabs my cheeks and spreads me wide, admiring the stretch of my asshole and vagina with his tight grip. Oscar leans in and dips his tongue in and out of both holes, indulging in my natural taste. He pulls back and spits on my tight asshole. He sucks his thumb first before bringing his slick finger to my hole, spreading his spit in a circular motion. Oscar deepens the pressure until his thumb successfully slides in.

A raspy moan leaves my lips and I cry out.

“Mmmm I know baby, I know. Daddy knows what to do.“ He confidently mutters between pants. He’s so turned on right now.

He spits on his pointer and middle finger next, slipping in two digits and stretching me out. His calculated process is driving me crazy and my thighs tremble around Tenoch’s waist. I gasp and stop sucking and jerking off Pedro and Diego, focusing on my breathing.

“Don’t be greedy Oscar, there’s enough of her to go around.” Tenoch gripes, assisting in spreading my cheeks to give Oscar better access. I whimper in anticipation.

Oscar continues to work open my hole with a squirt of lube, fucking me with his fingers until he deems I’m ready for his thick shaft. I grow impatient.

“Ah…f-fuck me Oscar, please. I need you!”

Pedro starts to laugh.

“Stop playing with your food Oscar. The lady is getting tired of you.”

“I thought you like when Daddy plays with you, baby.” Oscar taunts before spontaneously slapping both of my ass cheeks one by one, again and again and again. Left. Right. Left. Right. He spanks me so hard that the pain becomes unbearable. Tenoch proceeds to choke me, holding my neck in place. I scream but no sound comes out. My voice is hoarse from sucking and fucking. Gael ducks down and starts to suck on my nipple while twisting the other between two fingers, playing with its jewelry.

Once he deems me ready, Oscar takes his throbbing wood in hand and aligns his coated head with my stretched hole. He grabs some lube one last time, lathers me up and slides in. He takes his time to make sure he doesn’t hurt me but I want it now. He relishes in my tightness and cusses under his breath. Tenoch licks his fingers and lubricates my pussy with his saliva before re-entering me. My eyes roll back with the overstimulation of being filled to the brim. They start to move together in unison and I resume bouncing on both Tenoch’s and Oscar’s dicks together. Oscar looks down, watching himself go in and out of my ass, cheeks bouncing back on his pelvis and jiggling. He bites his lip from the glorious sight.

“Fuck y-your so tight…ah-“ They both rant together.

Sounds of skin slapping skin echo throughout my entire apartment and Oscar steadily grips my shoulder while Tenoch grabs my waist. I feel like I am being split in two as my holes stretch and adjust to being double penetrated. A bitch is on cloud nine and I can barely string two sentences together. They are deep in my guts and I think I’m going to black out from the overwhelming sensation. This is a ride I never want to get off of. Tenoch picks up the pace and fucks up into me with no mercy while Oscar follows suit. He looks determined, sweat dripping down his forehead. Tenoch gawks at my bouncing breasts in his face, matching the fast pace. He reaches down and thumbs my clit.

My orgasm is on the rise and I can feel my climax is near.

“Daddy, I’m….I’m close!” I moan.

Gael lets go of my breast and runs to grab my vibrator from my bedroom. He turns it to the setting I like and places it close to Tenoch’s groan so that it’s touching my clit at the right angle. He looks up at me as my mouth falls open. I’m slowly becoming undone and can’t hold on any longer.

Diego makes the split decision to get up on the couch and position himself in line to face fuck me. He holds my hair as I bounce and proceeds to have his way with me. I moan around his dick as spit pools and drips down my chin. Pedro leans down and fondles a breast while biting one nipple just the way I like it.

It was truly a sight to see. A real group effort. The one group project where everybody wins. My question is why didn’t we think to film any of this and post it to porn sites world wide or only fans and make millions?? You should have seen us! We fucked like real professionals. I could see it now: “Sexy whore takes 5 big cocks like a champ” as the title. Hmmm. Now that I think about it, we would have probably ran into some copyright issues with Mulan playing in the background. The “A girl worth fighting for” song blasting at full volume was a nice touch though.

I feel myself choking on his penis and Diego reminds me to breath through my nostrils as he shoves my head forward. He yanks me off of his dick to give me a second to breath and a string of saliva connects from my lips to his tip. He slaps me a bit and roughly grabs my cheeks. Diego leans in for a sloppy kiss and purrs “that’s my fucking slut.” He’s genuinely proud of me.

“Now suck!” He demands and plunges back into my mouth without any hesitation. He’s pumping me so fucking good while his thrusts start to become sporadic and his breath goes ragged. I know he’s close. He slips his throbbing dick out of my mouth and readjusts so that I give his neglected balls some lovin. He bites his lip in approval.

“I’m cumming…I’m cu-“ Tenoch goes silent as he spills his hot seed deep into my swollen pussy. My vagina pulses around him as I feel him paint my walls. I shake involuntarily as he comes down off of his high. His dick slides out of me and goes limp, while his seed leaks down my thigh. He lays there catching his breath as everyone continues to use me for their own satisfaction. He watches me bounce on top of him as Oscar continues to pound me from behind.

I quickly follow suit and climax hard, squirting all over Tenoch with Oscar deep in my ass, Pedro sucking my nipple rings hard, Gael rubbing my clit with my vibrator on high and Diego stuffing his balls in my mouth.

Everyone let’s go of me for a second as I buckle and grip Tenoch’s chest before completely collapsing on top of him. All of my energy leaves my body. He catches me in his arms and caresses my back, making sure I’m okay. He kisses my forehead and I feel his chest rise and fall.

Once my breath evens out, I look up and see everyone staring at me with concern. The Mulan end credits continue to roll on the TV. I sheepishly look around and immediately get shy in front of them for the first time.

“So…..round two?”

- - - - - - - - x x x - - - - - - - -

#I dont know how I feel about this but I hope y’all like it? rofl #tenoch huerta #pedro pascal #diego luna #oscar isaac #Gael Bernal #tenoch x reader #pedro x reader #diego x reader #Oscar x reader #Gael x reader #fic writing #you ask me why is the mulan movie in this and to that I say why not #no for real I don’t know what this is #this is meant to be read as a random character not as myself #yeah I’m just going to stick to edits and stuff bc this was HARD yall #shout out to fan fic writers 😮‍💨🥲#we just got a letter

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