#fucking HATE that show with every fibre of my being I literally can’t

[thepunkmuppet]

kate herron being a new writer on doctor who…..

sorry ik she was director and not writer on loki but if the doctor falls in love with a female version of himself i am OUT

#fucking HATE that show with every fibre of my being I literally can’t #they fumbled so bad with that one and I’m really hyped for ncuti’s series so they better not pull that shit again #anti sylki #anti loki series #kate herron #doctor who #dw #dr who #new who #nuwho #ncuti gatwa #15th doctor #dw series 14

[lemonxdaisybby]

Zhao and baker s/o was so cute!! how about if s/o cooked them something but it tasted really bad with Zhao Joongie and Ichiban??

I feel this, I cannot cook at allllll. Literally set rice on fire one time when attempting to boil it. My partner has now banned me from cooking. This was cute to write, thank u 💕

Ichiban Kasuga:

Poor man would freeze initially after the first bite, his eyes widening comically. He’d notice his s/o watching him anxiously, so would quickly try to hide any signs of disgust or shock, and would just try to power through the awful food.

Honestly, he could hate the taste of the food with every fibre in his body, and he’s still going to attempting to fucking eat every last scrap of it. Save this man. His eyes would be watering painfully, and his mouth would be working so hard to try and chew and swallow as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, he would be loudly declaring how amazing the food is, despite the obvious signs of distress.

He’d just really appreciate that his s/o made him something, regardless of the outcome. He wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings by telling them their food was bad.

His s/o would probably realise instantly that something about his reaction was off, and they’d proceed to taste the food themselves, finally tasting just how bad it is.

They’d be totally exasperated at Ichi for trying to eat it, despite the fact that it tastes inedible. When he tells them that he did it because he didn’t want them to feel bad, they’d definitely soften up.

Ichi would attempt to cheer his s/o up by reassuring them, pointing out that he can’t cook either, and would suggest that the two of them maybe learn together. He’d see it as a good opportunity to spend some wholesome quality time with his s/o, although RIP the kitchen. It’ll probably burn down.

Joon-Gi Han: 

Oh lord, this man is about to unintentionally hurt some feelings. He would be so blunt, without even realising it at first.

He would take a bite of the food his s/o prepared, and would just instantly look confused. He’d be so shocked at how bad it tastes, and would ask ‘what is this?’, because he simply refuses to believe this is actually edible food. His s/o would ask what was wrong at that point, and he’s gonna straight up tell them that it’s awful. No thoughts beforehand, he’s just going to blurt it out.

He would feel so bad once he realises he’s hurt his s/o’s feelings and sees the sad look on their face. He’d probably realise that he’s being very rude, considering his s/o had worked hard to make him a meal, even if it does taste disgusting.

He would immediately apologise and give his s/o a hug. He’d reassure them that he appreciates their attempt, and is touched that they thought to do something like this for him.

Joon-Gi would likely dote on his s/o for the rest of the day, as he’d still feel guilty for hurting their feelings, and would want to make up for his insensitive blunder.

Tianyou Zhao:

Zhao would definitely have the most normal and reasonable reaction to this. He’d be honest but really kind too.

He would initially be so happy when his s/o announces they’ve cooked for him, but after taking a few bites, he would soon go silent, analysing the taste.

His s/o likely would have anticipated that it may be hard to impress Zhao, considering how amazing at cooking he is himself. They’d immediately ask him how it was.

Food magician Zhao would somehow manage to pinpoint exactly where they went wrong. There’d be no awkwardness or hurt feelings, as he explains to his s/o what was wrong with the food. He’d be offering to cook with them next time, to show them the ropes. He’d be so hyped at the idea of cooking with his s/o, and his enthusiasm would be very contagious. His s/o would end up just as hyped.

S/o would officially become his new cooking apprentice.

#ryu ga gotoku #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza infinite wealth #yakuza 7 headcanons #yakuza 8 #ichiban kasuga #tianyou zhao #zhao tianyou #joongi han #joon gi han #yakuza headcanons

[donutloverxo]

Temptations

Note - For the lovely @justagirlinafandomworld 's challenge! And for my sweet fellow hoes @stargazingfangirl18 and @navybrat817

Hope y'all like it❤❤ Also a prequel of sorts to new years eve.

Summary - You know you only want him because you can't have him. But you still can't help yourself.

Warnings - smut, cheating, spanking, name calling, light anal stuff, like a small mention of choking (blink and you'll miss it).

Prompts - "I was fine before I met you" + Toxic cover by Sofia Karlberg for @justagirlinafandomworld

"Did you just....smack my ass?" + "Shh...be good for me" for navy and siri.

Pairing - Ransom Drysdale x reader

Word count - 4k

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

Your mother always told you to find a man who could take care of you.

Love doesn’t bring food on the table or a roof over your head.

Don’t be like your sister.

Don’t let those Disney movies fool you.

This is a materialistic world and money is the universal language.

As a kid it was annoying. Even more so when you fell for a guy, who your mother certainly didn’t approve of, who ended up breaking your heart into a million little pieces.

You learned as a teen; that the fairytales did lie to you. Love isn’t some magical force which is completely out of one’s control. You could love anyone if you tried hard enough.

Having grown up poor you always yearned for those sparkly things. So you made sure to make friends with some rich kids in college. But deep down you knew they only ever saw you as a charity case. A story, a means to diversify their social circle.

Which is why you took your mothers advice. Trapped your college roommates brother. Bryce. He was alright. But nothing more than that. You did care for him. But you lied whenever you told him that he was more to you. That he was a part of you.

Your soul ached every time you said ‘I love you’ to him. Because you didn’t mean it. It was all a lie. A farce. You wondered if he loved you as much as he claimed he did.

Even though you knew the answer. He didn’t.

He was the black sheep of his family. You knew he only dated you to get some sort of revenge on them. Wanting to be different and go against the flow. He secretly relished in how much his mother hated you. How you weren’t from old money. Or any sort of money.

As if being rich inherently makes you worthy.

Which was also why he had bought you along to meet his friends.

That’s when you saw him.

You knew he was trouble the minute you laid eyes on him. His chestnut hair swept back. The blue cable knit sweater he wore bringing out the blue of his cold hard eyes. Which also really did nothing to hide his large frame.

His long tan coat swirled around as he walked towards you. It was something you noticed. He walked with purpose. As if he owned the damn place.

You watched Bryce embrace him in a tight hug. They were apparently friends since middle school. You gulped down cowering under his intense gaze as he shook your hand.

You exhaled a shaky breathe, the warmth his hand electrifying your nerves. You quickly excused yourself, afraid that you were being too obvious about your instant attraction to him. That if you stayed in the vicinity of him you’d do something you would come to regret later.

You came out to the garden. Taking in the fresh air. Away from the rich people. And their suffocating stench.

You jumped when you heard Ransom call out your name.

You turned around to look at him. Only now he had shed his coat and sweater and was only dressed in a tight white shirt. Which was really messing with your head.

“You don’t like the party?” He asked. Very aware of the effect he had on you. It wasn’t very hard to tell. You weren’t exactly being subtle.

“Oh uh... that’s not it. I just needed some air.” You nodded to yourself. Playing with your hands to keep occupied as he stepped closer to you. Crowding you with the musky scent of his cologne.

“You mind if I keep you company?” He asked but he didn’t really expect an answer. With the way you refused to even look at his face he doubted you’d give him one.

He bought his hand up to play with your hair. Twirling a strand between his fingers. “I hope to see you this Christmas.” He smirked at the cute confused expression you gave him after you finally looked up at him. “We’re going to the Bahamas? Ring any bells?” He said as if he was talking to a child. You only shook your head no. “I’ll make sure Bryce brings you along then.” He drawled tracing your cheek and jaw with his finger.

“Ransom what’re you doing?” You stammered looking around to make sure no one was around.

“I’m not doing anything.” He shrugged parting your lips with his thumb.

“Yes you are!” You scolded him but kept your voice low. “Someone will see.” You tried to take his hand off of your face but it only made him grab a tight hold of your jaw.

“Now don’t play all innocent with me.” He laughed cruelly as you hissed under his harsh touch. “I saw those fuck me eyes you were giving me.” He leaned in so close to you that you could feel his hot breath fanning on your face. “What? You think you can just tease anyone you want and get away with it? It might work on other idiots but not me.”

You squirmed in his hold, fighting him to free yourself. But he was much stronger than you.

He sneered at your resistance and leaned in to whisper in your ear. “I’ll see you this Christmas.” He said. His tone letting on that he wasn’t done with you. He abruptly let go of you giving you a grin and walking away.

You stuck by Bryce’s side the rest of the night. You thought Ransom wouldn’t try anything when Bryce was right there. But the way Bryce was fawning over ransom you had a feeling he probably would let Ransom fuck you in front of him.

You were almost impressed by how charming and casual he was when spoke to you in front of Bryce and all his friends. No one would suspect a thing.

Hell he had you fooled. Was the encounter in the garden your imagination? Was your mind playing tricks on you.

You decided that it absolutely wasn’t when you felt Ransom pinch your behind as he helped you into the uber. You gasped loudly plumping down in the backseat. Staring at Ransom completely take aback.

“You okay babe.” You heard Bryce mumbled beside you, his eyes shut as he leaned against the glass window. Too drunk to notice what was going on right next to him.

“Yeah you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Ransom put his hand on your shoulder. A faux look of concern on his face.

“I’m totally fine!” You held your breathe trying to close your door but his huge body was blocking it.

“Make sure to bring this one along Bryce.” He was speaking to Bryce but his eyes were glued to you. “You have a good night sweetheart.”

You sat completely still not moving a single muscle as he pressed a light barely there kiss to your cheek.

You felt like you could finally breathe after getting far, far away from him.

You made a thousand excuses trying your best to convince Bryce that you just can’t make it. But he wasn’t having any of it.

“I never ask you for anything. I don’t know. Maybe we’re not the right fit for each other.” He had said threatening to break up with you.

You found yourself resenting him even more. How he couldn’t stand up to his 'friend’ and just say no. That you can’t make it. How hard could it possibly be?

You didn’t know who was more pathetic. You or Bryce.

How even after how sleazy Ransom acted around you, you still found yourself thinking of him whenever you dipped your fingers between your thighs. How you wished with every fibre of your being to just let him have his way with you. Why can’t you be bad just this once?

You were down right terrified of ransom maybe the thrill was the reason you were so attracted to him. Giving you an adrenaline rush you actually mistook for any sort of attraction. Or at least that’s how you choose to justify it.

You arrived at your hotel before Ransom. Meeting up with a few of Bryce’s friends. Binging on margaritas. That you almost forgot about why you were so anxious in the first place.

Your joy didn’t last long. As he showed up. The first thing you noticed was how his hair was a few inches longer. No longer styled with gel, messed up from his flight. He only seemed to mess it up further as he ran a hand through his hair.

As you expected he was inconspicuous. Not giving you anymore attention than the others. Which only made you want him more.

Why would he just ignore you after giving you so much attention last time. Even if said attention was unwanted.

You didn’t dare look too long at him. You did steal some glances. He did catch you a couple of times. But if he noticed he didn’t let it show.

After the long day you had laid flat on your comfy mattress. Almost asleep when you felt Bryce’s prying hands working on taking off your dress.

“I’m so tired babe.” You pecked his lips hoping that’d be the end of it. You really were exhausted from the cat and mouse game you played with Ransom.

Bryce made a sound of disapproval. “I took you on such a nice vacation. The least you can do is say thank you.” He demanded.

Not really having it in you to argue any further with him, you got down on your knees and took him in your mouth. Working him up with your hands and tongue. He never could last that long and you knew all his weaknesses.

“God shit will you do something about your hair” He chided trying to bunch your hair up in a ponytail.

You rolled your eyes and looked for your hair tie. Tying your hair up in a haphazard ponytail before getting back to business. He finished in just a few minutes. Collapsing on his side of the bed. “Just wake me up in a few hours babe. I’ll take care of you then.” His words muffled by his pillow.

You could only scoff at that. As if. He had yet to make you cum even once. You had become quite the actress by faking it with him.

You decided to take a long shower to wash your long day off. You slipped your fingers in your heat. To take matters into your own hands.

You tried your best to think of a hot celebrity or literally anyone else but him. But your mind kept coming back to Ransom. How his huge wrist would look wrapped around your throat. How you could mess up his hair as he ate you out.

Ultimately you became too frustrated with yourself, thinking of someone else, your boyfriends friend at that, in such a an inappropriate way. This wasn’t like you.

You gave up. Knowing you wouldn’t find release. Not with the heavy guilt lingering in the back of your mind.

You couldn’t sleep. You kept tossing and turning. But then you’d had enough. You put on a robe and headed towards Ransoms room. You knocked on it twice before he opened the door.

He stood in just his boxer briefs in front of you. And you had to do everything in your power to keep your eyes on his face and not let them fall down. To feast on his broad chest, the dark hair splattered on it, his washboard abs and that damn happy trail.

“This better be good.” He growled. obviously too upset that you disturbed his sleep.

“I...” you trailed off letting your eyes wander to his chest and the trail of dark brown hair leading to his black, tight, boxers “just couldn’t sleep.” You continued trying your best to focus.

“Come on in then.” Just like that. That fucking smirk was back on his face.

You took a deep breathe walking into his room. Wondering what the fuck you were even doing here. “How have you been?” You tried to make small talk.

Turning around to look at him. In a split second, before you could even comprehend what was happening he crashed his lips on yours, stealing your breathe. You sighed moaning into the kiss as his tongue invaded your mouth. It was messy and sloppy and everything you’d ever want from a kiss.

You both pulled away when the need to breathe took over your need for each other.

You panted running your hands up and down his chest to feel him.

“Why are you really here?” He asked pulling your chin up to make you look at him. When you wouldn’t answer he snaked a hand into your shorts. Letting out a satisfied hum with just how wet you were.

You whimpered as his warm fingertips grazed your nether folds. Teasing you so cruelly. Not really giving you what you so desperately wanted. “You know why I’m here.” You purred.

“Not good enough. I’m gonna need you to fucking say it.” He spit pushing a finger inside you.

Your breath hitched as he added another one, staring at you intently as he pumped them in and out of you. “No!” You cried. Trying to pry his hand out of your sleep shorts. “This is wrong. No!”

“Stop it!” He chided pinching your clit as you winced. “You can act innocent all you want. But I know just how much of a slut you are. Look at this.” He captured your cries and whimpers in a kiss as he curled his fingers inside you “Look how fucking wet you are for me.” He said before kissing you again.

“No. That’s not true.” You whined shaking your head “I was fine before I met you!” You were good. He was the one that awoke something dark and primal inside you. This was all his fault.

He chuckled at your foolishness. He wondered if you really believed that. Not that it mattered to him. He added a third finger to stretch your tight heat, get you ready for him. But he couldn’t wait anymore. Not with just how painfully hard he was.

He pulled his fingers from your shorts and pushed you down on your knees. With little to no resistance, you kneeled in front of him.

He took his hard cock out of his uncomfortable briefs, smudging his precum on your lips. “You know what to do. Be a good slut.” He instructed pulling on your messy ponytail as you took his head in your mouth. Sucking on it thoroughly before taking all of him. He groaned knowing you would make him cum in just a few seconds with that hot mouth of yours. “I knew you’d make for a good cocksucker” He pushed you further down and laughed as you gagged around him.

He pulled you off of him, tugging on your hair. He would cum just at the sight of you. Your eyes glossy, cheeks wet with tears, saliva and cum smeared all over your face. He took your hair tie off and smirked at your messy state. He preferred you like that. Ruined because of him. And he hasn’t even started yet.

He urged you to stand by pulling on your forearm. He pushed you against the edge of his bed. “Take off your clothes. On your hands and knees.” He ordered. Impatiently getting rid of his briefs.

You hesitated for a moment but then cowered under his harsh stern gaze, that let you know he had no room for disobedience. With shaky hands you pulled your tank top up and tossed it aside. Repeating the same with your shorts. You gulped as he unabashedly ogled you.

Turning around you climbed on the bed. Crawling till you butt at the edge. You had never done anything in this position before. Bryce preferred letting you do all the work. To give up control, to someone like Ransom. Who made you feel scared more than aroused. Was unnerving to say the least.

You waited, your nipples hardened and your skin covered in goose bumps because of the cold and the anticipation. You expected him to sink in you. He was a lot bigger than anyone else you had ever taken. You had no idea if you could even fit him. You choked trying to fuck him with your mouth.

But then you felt his tongue prod your pluckered hole. You gasped jerking away from his touch but his firm grip on your hips kept you still.

“Anyone ever fucked you here before?” He asked pushing a finger and watching in awe as your asshole swallowed it. It was so tight, he could barely fit one finger in it. He couldn’t imagine how amazing he would feel wrapped up around it. He frowned at your lack of response. That kind of shit doesn’t fly with him.

He groped your plump ass cheek before raising his hand and slapping it harshly. “I asked you a question. I expect an answer.” He stated entranced by the redness of your skin, spanking the same cheek again. So he could leave a few bruises. Something for you to remember him by.

Not that there was any need, this certainly won’t be the last time, he had plans for your ass for the next time. Besides there was no way he could not have you now. Not after feeling your tight cunt around his fingers, which would only be tighter around his cock.

You gasped as you felt the sting of his slap, you looked back at him over your shoulder, wincing again as he delivered another slap. “Did you just...smack my ass?” You asked incredulously. You knew it was a kink for some people but you never thought you’d be taking part in it. Let alone like it way more than you should.

“Shh... be good for me.” He removed his forefinger and replaced it with his thumb. “Answer my question.” He urged.

You swallowed not really ready for any more spanks to your ass and how strangely good they make you feel. “No.” You replied. “No one’s ever fucked my ass.” You added for good measure, rolling your eyes.

“Good.” He hummed.

“Oh my!” You yelped as you felt his tongue nudge your cunt. Pressing inside he slowly fucked you with it. Your hands started shaking, you weren’t sure if you could hold on, his warm velvety tongue felt so good against your walls. Your vision became blurry as tears gathered in your eyes. Dropping on his pristine white sheets. You damn near lost it when he wrapped his mouth around your clit. Slightly pulling on it before harshly sucking on it. You sobbed so overwhelmed with pleasure. “Ransom!” You cried.

“What do you want sweetheart?” He cooed. His voice so dubiously sweet and caring.

“Just fuck me please.” You begged feeling as if your world was about to end, as if you were about to black out then and there as he suck on your bundle of nerves again, pushing his fingers in your cunt.

“What? I thought this was wrong?” He said with faux shock. “Why would you want someone who’s not your boyfriend to fuck you? You’re not making any sense honey.” He spit.

You pushed your head into the mattress, feeling him smirk against your pussy as he ate you out. You had never felt this good before. You had no idea how to handle it or what to do with it. You wondered just what was it about Ransom that made you putty in his hands.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” You shook your head against the soft bedding. “Please fuck me.” You pleaded at the end of your rope.

He stood up straight. Groping your ass, which was perched up to him, presented so perfecty with your back arched. “Well since you asked so nicely.” He groaned loudly sinking in your tight, wet heat. “How the fuck are you so tight?” He wondered bottoming out. “So damn wet.” He muttered rolling his hips, rubbing his balls against your clit.

“I...” You spoke as if to answer him but couldn’t finish your thought, his skin rubbing against your oversensitive clit in the best way. You whimpered as he pulled his cock, leaving just his tip inside you, making you feel so empty so suddenly. You cried as you he harshly pushed back into you. You felt his large palm push you further into the mattress. His big, hard cock fucking you hard.

He kept up a steady fast pace. Eliciting loud moans and mewls from you. “Does he fuck you this hard?” He asked fastening his pace.

You tried to shake your head, but you couldn’t because of his firm hold on your head. “No he doesn’t.” You were pretty sure that after tonight you’d be ruined for any other man.

He grunted his hips stuttering as he felt your walls quiver around his length. You were close and so was he. “That’s it. Cum on my cock.” He moaned as he felt you clench around him, milking his cock for all he’s got. He gave you a few harsh thrusts before he spilled deep inside you.

You felt everything else around you slip into an abyss. You had never had an orgasm so mind boggling. One that left you so delirious. You moaned hugging the comforted close to you as you felt him spill his warm spend inside you. Making your sensitive walls tingly. You clenched around his softening shaft to keep him inside you. So tired but already ready for another fuck.

He groaned as he felt you clench around him, he smacked your other cheek before pulling out of you. He spread your ass cheeks to see his creamy cum spill out of your swollen cunt. He pushed it back inside and chuckled as you mewled.

He hummed stopping his ministrations to toss your clothes back to you. “Get dressed.” He instructed before going around the bed lay back on his side. He felt you sit up beside him. He looked at you staring at him expectedly. “What did you think we were gonna cuddle?” He scoffed “Do you want him to find out?” He wanted to know.

You shook your head no. Which made...sad? No not sad. Why would it. He doesn’t give a shit who you date or fuck. Not as long as he gets what he wants from you. “Then leave before he finds out you’re gone. I don’t do the girlfriend thing.” He said shutting his eyes so he wouldn’t see your nude body or be tempted to take you again.

You hummed putting your tank and shorts on. “...bye then.” You said awkwardly and turned around to leave. You gasped when you felt him wrap a hand around your waist pulling you back to sit on the bed.

“Don’t think we’re done yet.” You shivered as he whispered in your ear. His body warm against your back. “You better be back here tomorrow. Or else.” He let go of you letting the threat linger in the air as you nodded and got up on shaky feet.

Yeah. He was far from done with you.

Tags will be in the reblogs! If you want in on the taglist click the link in the bio or shoot me an ask/dm.

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

OwO I swear I didn't know back then that Chris' character in fierce people is also called Bryce. Who's somehow worse than Ransom and that's really something else.

Please note that my work is NOT to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

#shamelesshoesforchris #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x ofc #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #ransom x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x reader #steve rogers x reader

[engie-ivy]

do you have a fic where remus confronts Sirius of believing he was the spy (like maybe canon divergence - they all live) and refuses to agree that just because there was a war doesn’t mean he should’ve not trusted him or used the excuse that he’s a werewolf not to believe him

Hi!

I have fics that deal with the suspicions and false accusations during the war! But these do take on a more Fluffy path, and eventually lead to them being understanding and forgiving of each other's behaviour😅

You might like the confrontation in

If Tomorrow the World Crumbles

“Well, what am I supposed to bloody think, then?” Sirius shouted back. “You’re obviously keeping things from me! How is this sketchy behaviour going to make anything better? Why couldn’t you just come talk to me, so you could have proven that you’re not-”

“Because I shouldn’t have to proof anything to you!” A hint of pain was seeping through in Remus’s frustration. “All my life I’ve had to proof myself to everyone, and all my life I’ll have to continue proving myself, simply because of what I am, but not to you. Never to you. You’re supposed to believe in me! You’re the one person who’s supposed to be on my side.”

And here's an excerpt from my longer fic

If Only You Knew the Whole Story

He’s sitting in a chair. His arms are handcuffed behind his back and his ankles are chained to the legs of the chair. Protective spells are placed around him, making it impossible to come any closer than half a meter in his vicinity, though there isn’t much he could even do without his wand. His long, dark hair is tied in a messy bun with loose strands falling over his face, and he still has the muggle clothes on he was wearing when he got arrested.

He’d been wearing muggle clothes a lot. When James teased him about it, he told him to go try and ride a motorbike in flapping wizarding robes and then come talk to him. No one particularly minded seeing him in tight fitted muggle clothes anyway, as the man has always been unfairly good-looking.

He looks up as Emmeline enters the room, his grey eyes empty and emotionless.

Sirius Black.

“I didn’t think you’d come back. You seemed rather pissed off when you left the last time.”

“I’m pissed off at you by default. But I did some fact-checking on your previous claims.”

Black rolls his eyes. “If you looked him up in the Animagus register, I could have told you-”

“Actually, I went to a more direct source.”

“Hello, Black.” Remus steps in the room, his eyes focused somewhere on the logo on Black’s worn-out band shirt, deliberately not meeting Black’s eyes, his mask of indifference firmly in place. Emmeline understands his need to not show any emotion in front of Black.

Black’s face, on the other hand, is a whole different story. It’s hard to imagine his eyes were so void of emotion just a moment ago, as a variety of emotions passes over his face.

Disbelief. Hope. Fear. Guilt. Pain.

When he speak, soft and barely audible, his voice sounds so broken that it sends a shock through Emmeline’s body. She can tell Remus feels the same, as his eyes snap up to Black’s face.

“Remus? Please...”

“I messed up, Remus. I messed up so bad. But if only you knew the whole story-”

“You’re going to tell me the whole story,” Remus interrupts, his voice cold and bitter. “The real story.” He opens his palm to reveal the small flask of Veritaserum.

Now, Emmeline was expecting anger. Anger as Black would realise he wouldn’t be able to make up stories anymore. Anger as he saw his plans of manipulating Remus with his lies go up in smoke. Emmeline may have understood shock, that they would actually dare to force him to take the truth potion, or maybe even panic, now that his ploy is officially over.

What Emmeline did not expect, however, was the look of sheer hope on Black’s face, like he’s a dehydrated man who has been wandering the dessert for days and Remus is holding a glass of fresh, cold water.

“Yes,” he says pleading. “Yes, please...”

It completely catches Emmeline off guard, and she can tell Remus is also thrown off. He stares at Black dumbfounded and seems unsure what to do next. He fumbles with the flask, opening it and sliding it across the table towards Black.

As they can’t get near Black with the protective charms surrounding him, Emmeline doesn’t know what they would have done of he had simply refused to drink the potion, but then again, that would have said enough of itself, wouldn’t it? Now, however, Black wastes no time in bending forward, taking the flask between his lips and throwing his head back, gulping the potion down.

After Black has dropped the empty bottle back on the table, he sits motionless in his chair, his eyes closed. Remus is staring at him intently, his mouth in a hard line and his knuckles turning white where he’s gripping the edge of the table. The moment can’t have lasted more than a few minutes, but it feels like an eternity. Despite all her talk about only doing this for Remus, not believing anything will come of it, Emmeline feels nerves coursing through her body. There’s a heavy tension hanging in the room and the air feels thick. Emmeline can only imagine what this moment must be like for Remus.

After what seems like hours, Black slowly opens his eyes. “It wasn’t me.”

So few words hardly more than a whisper, but their impact couldn’t have been greater if he had shouted them in their faces.

Remus’s legs threaten to give out from under him and he supports himself on the table, staring at the wood while gasping for air.

“It wasn’t me, it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me.” Black repeats the words like a mantra.

Remus lifts his head, and upon seeing the pain, hope and confusion on his face, Emmeline wants to run to him, support him and start questioning Black, but at the same time she feels like she needs to stay out of it for now, this needs to be between them.

“What wasn’t you?” Remus breathes. “I need to hear you say it.”

“Everything. Any of it. The murders, the betrayal. Rem, I wasn’t even the Secret-Keeper!”

“But... But...” Remus tries desperately to order his thoughts. “Peter?”

Black nods silently.

Remus shakes his head. “No, no. James insisted! He would never choose anyone but you!”

“No, he wouldn’t.” Black replies as he shifts his gaze downwards, sadness reflecting in his eyes. “Not until I convinced him to. Merlin, I thought I was so clever! A perfect way to throw them off track. Who would even consider it being anyone else?”

“But you told me it was you! Those evenings we spent talking about it...”

“I lied! I lied to you, Remus.”

Remus stares at him for a while. “You didn’t trust me.” It’s not a question.

“We knew there was a spy,” Black says, looking absolutely miserable. “We just didn’t know who.”

“And I was the logical choice,” Remus states. “I assume because I’m a dark creature?”

“Yes. It was because you’re a werewolf.” Black looks Remus straight in the eyes. “Because you have fifteen years of experience keeping secrets and hiding who you are. And you’re so damned good at it! Better than anyone I know. Dumbledore always chose you for the most secret missions. You were the only one amongst us no one had any idea of where they were going or what they were doing.”

“That wasn’t by choice!”

“I know, I know. Remus, you have to understand. We didn’t think you were the traitor, we just couldn’t be absolutely sure that you weren’t the traitor.”

Remus swallows and looks away. “What’s the difference?”

“The difference is that I felt with every fibre of my being that I could trust you and you would never hurt us!” Black speaks. “But at that time, I couldn’t allow myself to feel, I had to think. And logical thinking, shutting off all emotion, said that none of us could say with one hundred percent certainty that it wasn’t you. With Harry’s life at stake, we couldn’t afford to take any chances. It was best not to tell.”

Remus nods, but he’s still not meeting Black’s gaze.

“Remus, please look at me,” Black says earnest. “I need you to know this. We still would have died for you in a heartbeat, Lily, James and me. We still thought the world of you.”

“But I thought the worst of you!” Remus’s breath hitches. “I despised you, wanted to hate you! If I had found you that night, I would have...”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, doesn’t need to.

Black doesn’t look shocked, or even angry. He just looks immensely sad.

“Why wouldn’t you have? I fucked everything up, Remus. I lied to you, I trusted the wrong people, I distrusted the wrong people, I convinced James to take a path that lead straight to his death. And I can’t even do the only thing James asked me to do in case the worst would happen! I can’t even take care of Harry, like I promised I would. I abandoned him in my failed attempt at revenge, another one of my numerous mistakes. I literally can’t think of a single thing I haven’t screwed up these last weeks.”

Remus just stares at him. Only after a long silence, he speaks.

“You really are... you.”

Black just blinks at him.

“I mean, the boy who snuck out of the dorm to keep me company in the hospital wing, the boy who bribed the house elves to make my favourite chocolate cake on my birthday, the man who wanted me to stay with him when I had no place to live and never let me go, the man who once attacked five Death Eaters on his own because one of them had tried to use the Cruciatus curse on me... That person was not a facade, an act or a lie. That person was really you. You’re really that person.”

“Telling you I was the Secret-Keeper was hard for me, as it was the first and only time I ever lied to you, I promise.”

“I know,” Remus slides down in the chair across from Black. “And it’s okay, Sirius. It’s okay.”

Sirius closes his eyes for a moment. As he opens them again to look at Remus, they’re filled with relief.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “It’s just... You’re the only person who I couldn’t bear to see me as a monster.”

Remus smiles softly. “Yeah, I know that feeling.”

I hope you still like it, though it might not be exactly what you're looking for!

#thanks for the ask! #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fic #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #sirius black #remus lupin #remus x sirius #first wizarding war

[spacehologramcollection]

Kombat Krew and Animal Crossing.

It should come as no surprise that I’ve been playing Animal Crossing a lot recently. I’ve got real life debt in terms of my student loans. And also, debt in the game too! What a life I have and what a world we live in. So, here’s a crossover that no one asked for. Kombat Krew reacting to it/ playing it with their S/O and what kind of villager they’d be!  I didn’t do everyone, mainly the ones that I think would/could play the game! And This is such a pure post. Wow. No warnings what so ever. But just because of length of post I’ve popped a cut in, just because it’s a little long!

·         Cassie Cage; She’s reluctant to play it at first. When you’re both chatting about it and hyping it up, she’s sipping her smoothie raising an eyebrow. But because she’s a supportive partner, she will watch all the trailers in the hype run. She has to admit it does look cute. She’ll buy you it and can’t help but keep peering up and watching as you run around your island, catching bugs and fish. Smiling at the occasional scream as you try and run from a tarantula. “So, you owe the Racoon money? Wait, why are you paying for more extensions on your house?!” Doesn’t understand till she finally bites the bullet and plays it when you’re not in… within an hour she’s bought it and is playing it. Then it’s on. You find her awake at 3 AM, she’s sat crossed legged on the sofa, playing it intently. Cute dates where you go out to a café and local play. Visiting each other’s islands, planting flowers and taking cute aesthetic photos. Her house is full of bright colours and random assortments of bits and pieces she found cute. Johnny takes the piss out of you both. The fact you’re both sat next to each other on the sofa, playing the same game, and speaking gibberish. Cassie is also slightly competitive; she doesn’t know where she gets it from Johnny and Sonya.  So, it’s no wonder that she wins the tourneys, does all of the events and completes the nook mile challenges efficiently. 

If she was a Villager: A squirrel. Kind of like Blaire. Normal personality.

·         Smoke (Tomas Vrbada): If ever there was a game that fit Smokes aesthetic and general vibe it would be Animal Crossing. How he got introduced to the series was that he was reading peacefully. Until your squeal of excitement disrupted him. Honestly, at first, he thought some shit had happened. Queue him evaporating and appearing mid living room. Only to see you’re happy because there was a leaked trailer for a game. His mouth starts out agape, as if questioning, why you would make such a noise over a game. That expression changes when he watches it with you. He loves it so much… is actually excited for the prospect of living a quiet life on his own Island. Pre-orders with you so you both can play it. Smoke also definitely owns a grey switch. He. Loves. This. Game. Stays up late with you playing it the first days it’s released. His islands name will be something fantasy based. His character has great hair too. Loves planting flowers and tending your joint garden on his island. His house is so neat, and each room has a theme. Everything is in place and organised too. He loves also going to the museum with you and having a look at everything. He loves that there’s a museum. He’s pretty much the Lin Kuei Blathers at this point. And you guys can go on virtual dates to the museum and each other’s towns when he’s away on a mission. Loves playing it whilst you’re both snuggled up in bed together. When he finds out that the different hemispheres have different bugs and fish, he begs Bi-Han and Kuai to get it. Because he wants to flesh that museum out! “So, there’s this racoon that you have to pay your debt off too. But it’s addictive and it’s a great distraction…” “TOMAS IT’S 3AM GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP” – Bi-Han. If he was a villager: There’s a hipster bear in it. So yeah. He’s a hipster bear, he’s basically Beardo. If there were owl villagers, I’d have made him an owl! Smug personality on AC is more polite, gentleman like, so it’s actually not a bad personality.

·         Kabal: He’s sure he should be doing work right now. But who gives a fuck when he needs to tend to his garden. Virtual chibi Kabal is living his best life right now. Not having to put up with Kano. His boots are on his desk whilst he plays. He honestly remembers playing the original on GameCube. A friend from school had it and he wanted it so badly, but his mom could never afford it. But now he’s an adult, he can literally buy whatever the fuck he wants. When he finds out you love the series too, he cannot help but smile. He tries to let on that he’s not obsessed, but he is. He preloads it and keeps checking to see if you can play it. Queue him staying up till midnight and waking you up to let you know it’s on. By the time you get up properly he’s filling out the museum, has paid off his first loan and is ready for more. He loves playing it with you, will be a bit of a dick at times, and will totally hit you with net or snipe the bug you’re trying to get. Only for him to gift you it. He’s strategically planned this hit. He’s chosen the Southern Hemisphere and has got oranges. He needs everything. It’s cute how obsessed he is with it. When he’s away, he loves playing it with you, visiting each other’s towns, leaving cute notes on the Notice Board and sending letters. Virtual you and him are so cute. “Hey Kabal, what you playin’?” “None of your fucking business.”  

If he was a villager: Definitely an Alligator. Just going off the fact he has a tooth. I’m going with Jock personality. Just because he’s a hyper up and can be intense at times. So probably like Sly.

·         Frost: She like Cassie pretends not to care about it. Who has time for games? She sure as hell doesn’t… even though it does look cute, and she does miss having a garden. She finds it therapeutic. Not that the temple has a garden because ahaha it’s fucking freezing and always snowing. Frost is literally acts like an ice sculpture, hard and frozen inside and out. In reality, she’s more like a snowman. Soft and squishy. She does have a soft spot for the game… especially when she watches you planting flowers and making a little garden. If you have a full switch and can create multiple characters, she may get a little emotional that you made her and made her a little garden. Okay. Maybe she’ll play it for a few minutes… *Four hours later* She’s giggling wildly as she catches bugs and plants and waters more flowers. At first, she’s content with just playing the character you made her… but then she finds out from Cassie you can play together. And that’s it. She wants to do cute couple shit on it. Buys the game and surprises you when she sits next to you and reluctantly asks what to call her Island. You’ll both lay next to each other playing it together. She’s hyper competitive as well, so she ends up doing all of the tourneys and winning. As well as helping you out if you’re struggling with a certain part.   If she was a Villager: She’s definitely a cat villager. Probably like Katt, quirky looking and a bit mean looking. But on the inside really caring and sweet.

·         Kuai Liang (Sub Zero): Why is he playing this again? You said you had a great distraction in mind for him. What he did not expect was for him to be sat on your sofa on a rainy day. Holding you switch and staring from it to the TV in mild confusement. He knew that a new game had come out and it had, in a word, consumed every fibre of your being for the past few days. He loved how happy it made you and would often smile fondly watching you play it… but he didn’t expect himself to be playing it. You made him, pretty accurately, on the game and he’s kind of impressed. You do have to walk him through it, because him and technology do not mix. He does get the hang of it and he has the patience of a saint and the accuracy of a pro angler when it comes to catching fish. You’re pretty damn impressed. He hates to admit how much he loves the game. And it’s kind of cute that you’re sort of playing it together. He may round the corner a few times when you’re playing to ask if you’re advancing the island, because he knows he can’t do it… and he would like to visit the museum and add to it. Secretly loves it. Not enough for him to actually play it himself, but he does find himself playing it in a morning before you wake up. Don’t tell Smoke or Bi-Han he won’t hear the end of it. ‘I don’t have time for pop culture’ BULLSHIT KUAI!

If he was a villager: A Penguin. fucking fight, me on this. He’d probably look like Roald but with a smug personality. Remember Smug is good in this game, I know mind fuck.

·         Bi-Han: Okay so the colours hurt his head. They are so bright. Why is that eagle wearing a blazer? What the fuck is going on. If you thought Kuai was confused Bi-Han is next level confused… but he also wants a go. He really wants to play it. He likes to get involved with what you like, and if playing this Mutli-coloured game about living on an island makes you happy, then so be it! Will start off with a character on your save. Before progressing to him eventually getting it himself and ‘borrowing’ the hidden Switch that Smoke has. The one he hides at the bottom of his sock draw, next to his diary, to the left of embarrassing photos of him. You’ll find him playing in between meditation and training. He secretly loves it. He gets a system going and soon has overtaken you on it. Invites you around to show off his pad. Which is a mess, just like his actual room. But it’s got the Bi-Han charm. Totally moves his house to a ledge so no one can visit him. Will play it secretly, pretending to be busy but actually just vibing on a tree stump catching bugs. He loves visiting your island. He’ll change your flowers around, and plant fruit trees for you. He’ll also leave you small presents in your house. He gets into it, but he just likes been able to share a bit of your world. He didn’t have videogames growing up, so it’s nice to finally be exposed to a bit of pop culture.

If he was a villager: He’d be a bear with a jock personality. Would probably look something similar to either Curt or Groucho.

·         Jacqui: She’s excited to play this. She remembers playing it when she was younger. Confused the fuck out of her dad. They had a real farm, but she wanted to virtually take care of her plants and trees. Confused him. But when she finds out you love the game too, she’s over the fucking moon. She’s got Cassie to play it with her, but the fact you, her darling S/O love it too makes her so happy! She’s had the same aesthetic and favourite villagers since she was a kid. But she loves all the villagers, she thinks there all quirky and cute in there own way! Her Island is also so organised. She also saved your butt a few times, catching the tarantulas as you ran around madly trying to avoid them. She event split the profit from her trip to tarantula island with you!  I’ve always had the HC that Jacqui is artistic, so she makes cute custom designs that look 110% amazing. And has totally made you both matching outfits to wear and take cute photos with. She tried her hardest to make her house into your shared apartment, and to be fair, she did a really great job at it! You and her both lay on the sofa playing it together, laughing and chilling together over takeaway, with a comfy movie on in the background. She loves that you can share this interest and that you can still virtually be together when she’s far away. Will send you letters in game too when she’s away. With stuff she’s picked up and thinks you’ll like or will ok cute in her house. She owns all the shell stuff because it’s so pretty and costal looking. Her house is totally near the beach. She’s always secretly wanted to live near the coast. Jax can’t get his head around that your in her game, and she’s in yours.

If she was a villager: I’d say a wolf villager. Kind of like Audie who’s really peppy and happy go-lucky. Most of her intros are upbeat and can-do attitude like! So, I think it matches her personality really well!

#Mortal Kombat 11 #Mortal Kombat x reader #Smoke #tomas vrbada #Sub Zero #Kuai Liang #Bi-Han #Cassie Cage #Kabal #jacqui briggs #Mortal Kombat headcanons #Mk #mk11 #mk headcanons #frost #Smoke x reader #sub zero x reader #bi-han x reader #kabal x reader #tomas vrbada x reader #kuai liang x reader

[keishins-ukai]

I Just Wanna Be Your Favourite Boy

(here’s a link if you prefer reading on ao3)

The amount of alcohol flowing in Kuroo’s veins was not enough to distract him from how pathetic all of this truly was . He was at his first University party, he was surrounded by beautiful people and free alcohol, he should be having the time of his life, right? Tetsurō sat in his friend’s garden with his back resting against the cold brick of the house, his head resting there too. His arms were balanced on his pulled-up knees, his eyes closed.

To any party-goers that ventured outside this would look normal, like the first year partied too hard and passed out super early – it's not like that kind of thing doesn’t happen all the time. Then they’d notice the earbuds still in his ears (though they weren’t playing anything, he just didn’t want to speak to anyone), the dry tear tracks down his cheeks, the ever so slight shaking of his chin. Well, that or the glitter-like sparkle that seemed to be all around the black-haired boy

Tears had become a very common part of Tetsurō’s life recently, a fact he hated with every fibre of his being. Six months ago, you would need the saddest song on earth put in the background of the saddest video on earth and he might have considered crying. Now all it took now was the thought of blond and black hair, golden eyes, mint vodka that smelled like his shampoo…

The stars hadn’t appeared until his first day of university. He had texted Kenma when he’d woken up - Kuroo always texted as soon as he woke up – some dumb chemistry joke he’d found the night before, trying to convey his excitement at finally starting his course. Kenma never usually replied immediately, though this day he did, though Kuroo didn’t actually know why (Kuroo would look back and see it as the first sign. Kenma told him everything)

Kenma had only sent a gif of a cat showing almost complete apathy, but Kuroo’s heart started racing nonetheless, mind spiralling at all of the possible meanings behind the response and never once landing on the real answer (Kenma just woke up earlier than normal). They’d texted a lot of the day, Kuroo only turning his phone off during classes, not wanting to make any bad impressions.

While it obviously hadn’t been the reason, in the following months Kuroo had started to blame turning his phone off as the inciting event as when he turned his phone on he got the notification, the moment that changed everything. It was so small, so seemingly inconsequential.

Instagram: Kodzuken has posted a photo

Kenma’s Instagram consisted mainly of photos from games he was playing, purposely unflattering pictures of himself or animals. But that day was different. He posted a picture of him and Hinata, and the orange-haired boy was positively grinning into the camera, Kenma wasn’t even smiling but Kuroo could tell he was happy, that he was less stressed than he had been for a lot of the summer.

Kuroo knew that what he told himself was unfair, that there simply wasn’t enough data to support the idea of ‘he likes Shōyō more’. But none of that mattered, Kuroo just knew. He didn’t need evidence to prove that Kenma had feelings for the shrimp, the ever so slight dimple was proof enough – even Kuroo had only seen that dimple once, and he wasn’t the one who bought it out.

Crying in the men’s bathroom, as it turns out, is neither very comfortable nor as discreet as one would imagine, though that didn’t matter to Tetsuro as the itching and burning sensation was the only thing he could think about. ‘What the hell is this?’ repeated in his mind as he did his best to stop the small glass-like crystals from falling to the floor and creating even more noise. After spending what felt like an eternity researching what could possibly in all hell be happening to him he moved, hating the quiet twinkling sounds in his pocket.

‘Of course this would happen to me.’ Kuroo would think to himself repeatedly over the next few days ‘Star fucking tears’.

-

Stars Tears

Caused by intense but unrequited love, always romantic, ‘star tears’ is a rare condition wherein the afflicted will secrete small crystalline shards from their tear ducts, the crystals often being compared to stars which is where the illness got its name. Side effects from stage two ‘star tears’ can include

-          Leaking tear ducts

-          Dryness of the eyeballs

-          Itchiness in the eye area

-          Blocked tear ducts

And in some extreme cases

-          Partial or complete colour blindness

-          Partial or complete sight loss.

As the disease is caused by unrequited love there is no ‘mainstream’ treatment which can cure this, some patients never being cured while others were reportedly healed if the person they loved also loved them back, in a romantic sense.

-

Even though he was aware of how bad an idea it was, Kuroo remained sat in his friend's garden, though now his earphones were playing something. More specifically he had his ‘Kenma’ playlist on which was playing all of the songs and bands that the shorter boy had ever introduced him to. They were playing at full volume to drown out his own thoughts - the ones nibbling on his mind, making him think of lazy nights playing ‘Majora’s Mask’ with him , of the nights leading up to Christmas making their cinnamon and raisin cookies, of the toothbrush that had been Kuroo’s spare but that he’d stolen because of their frequent sleepovers.

He really didn’t want to cry again, having decided that his new rate of three times a week was far too much, but the stars demanded more still. In the beginning, they would only appear if he’d seen his face, whether it be over skype or as a photo. That had been remarkably easy to handle - Kuroo had just moved all of the photos of him to the ‘hidden’ folder on his phone, and minimise the skype screen when they talked. Easy.

But then Kuroo started to really miss him, started to think of him almost every moment of the day, affecting his sleep and work schedule. That’s when he realised how truly fucked he was. You can’t just pick and choose what parts of friendship you want to participate in and expect it to remain completely intact. Kenma didn’t know what was going on, but he could sense a change, making more of an effort to start their conversations, to not leave Kuroo out of what was going on his life, to make sure that the elder knew that they were still friends.

It was unfair how this made everything worse, that Kenma’s thoughtful inclusions made Kuroo feel more excluded than ever, made him feel both like he had a chance and also made him know that Kenma saw him as his closest friend and that he wouldn’t be more. Kenma had always worried with his crushes that initiating things with them would scare them off, that he would be seen as overbearing. Rather than risking anything, he would just wait until he thought the other would like him back before asking them on a date.

The tears started to increase, them coming at just the thought of Kenma when Kuroo hadn’t got any prevention methods. His most effective was to drown out any other noise with the sound of his own music, even investing in better earphones to ensure that he wouldn’t be hearing any other external noises. However, his playlist choice could definitely be improved upon since every voice, every chord, every bar had the Kenma Kozume seal of approval, making the task of not thinking about the boy almost impossible.

Not even twenty minutes alone and his mind wandered, going to almost every stop in Tetsurō’s brain before stopping at one that made his heart dance. If it were a book the edges would be folded, the spine broke, and some of the pages ripped just from the sheer amount of use.

“Stop looking at my ass!” Kenma had demanded, trying his best to wriggle away from Kuroo “This isn’t for you”. The blond wasn’t looking at him, trying to pretend that his attention was on the syringe in his hand.

“You’re the one who asked me to do this.” Kuroo reminds, reaching over for the injection. “And knowing I was coming over to do this you decided to wear trousers rather than shorts when all I need is your thigh, so…” Their eyes meet and the elder man winks.

Kenma’s face scrunches up in retaliation, fingers lingering for just a moment against Kuroo’s, placing the syringe gently in his hand. “What are you trying to suggest?”

He pretends to think for a second when he wipes a disinfectant wipe on his leg, knowing that he technically didn’t need to but also wanting to be as safe as possible. “That maybe you wanted me to see your ass?”

The youngers face calms into a neutral expression. “Dream on Tetsurō.” Despite being quite scared of needles, he had decided on having testosterone injections rather than pills or any other alternative, finding that needing to do injections more infrequently benefitted him more. He’d also figured that getting someone else to administer the injection would have negated his fear.

Kuroo had agreed, why would it be more difficult for an injection to occur when you’re not the one putting the needle in your skin? The answer; Kenma was a wriggler. He moved back on the bed every time that Tetsurō tried to move closer to him “Come on, kitten.” he chides, the pet name tacked on as a joke.

His only answer is a hiss, a literal fucking hiss, as Kenma tries to move his leg away again, but is caught by the ankle and pressed back down to the bed. Kuroo eventually managed to give Kenma his testosterone, despite the difficulty and found that when he went home there was only one thing on his mind. The hiss.

Most people who met Kenma Kozume thought he was polite, shy and awkward. And he was all of those things, but he was also so much more. He was funny, intuitive, self-assured and weird and Tetsurō loved that so much. As soon as he thought the word ‘love’, everything seemed to make sense. Every look that lasted too long, every thought replaced by one of Kenma, every feeling of longing to be with his best friend.

Tetsurō was in love with his partner in crime. He still is.

Rex Orange County is a band that frequently blasts on Kuroo’s phone, them having many songs that fit the themes of unrequited love so well that he had no choice but to really connect with their music. Though there was one song in particular that is constantly on his mind, the song being called ‘Best Friend’.

At some point in his reminiscing Kuroo had put on the song, immediately pressing the repeat button as he moved his head to stare into the night sky.

But no, it wasn't meant to be and see, I wasn't made for you

And you weren't made for me

When he was younger he’d wanted to be an astronomer, having found the stars and the moon fascinating, but he couldn’t stand the sight of them anymore. His hands were shaking, shoulders shaking, lip shaking. Maybe if he got some closure he could move on and get rid of this disease, finally feel whole again.

Love someone for loving you instead of someone really cool

That makes your heart melt

Tetsurō needed to turn this song off, to stop fucking thinking about him, about the man he had literal scientific proof that he doesn’t love him back, but the pure boost of serotonin he got when he thought about Kenma was worth it. It was worth the pain, it was worth the constantly itchy eyes, it was worth feeling sick to his stomach anytime he sees a twinkle.

Oh, I still wanna be your favourite boy

I wanna be the one that makes your day

The one you think about as you lie awake

He started typing the text before he could stop himself, feeling like he was watching himself make this extremely poor decision but having absolutely no power to stop himself. Even if it wouldn’t make Kenma love him it would be cathartic, right? And as long as he’s vague enough he could preserve their friendship, maybe even claim plausible deniability if necessary. The text read: ‘listening to this and thinking about you’ along with a link to Best Friend.

Kenma’s response was very short, only three words but enough to send his heart into a tailspin, for it to stop completely in its tracks, to make him feel like he’d never breathe again. ‘I’m dating Shōyō’

That night Kuroo lost the golden hue of his eyes.

--------------

A special thanks to @wanderlustsky for beta reading this! it was amazingly helpful <3

#kuroken #haikyū!! #angst #star tears #no happy ending #best friend #rex orange county #haikyuu kuroo #kozume kenma #haikyuu kenma #kuroo tetsuro

[soulmatesinanimpala]

My thoughts on the SPN series finale

K.

First off let me preface this by saying I devoted YEARS and years of my life, I poured every ounce of my love and devotion, every shred of my inspiration and every fibre of my being into this show, many years ago. I wasn’t just a “fan.” I have this show tattooed on my body for a reason. It literally changed my life. It saved me. These two brothers, road tripping across America hunting down creepy things that go bump in the night. And their love for one another. The amount of love I have/had for this show is boundless. I carry it with me every day and I will for the rest of my life. It is a part of who I am. I’ve never connected with another show quite the same way as I did with Supernatural, and I know I never will again. The universe aligned to produce magic that day that I decided to watch the pilot. For me, it was never “just a show.” It was something tangible, like a life I was getting to live outside of my own. It was quite literally everything to me.

But, somewhere along the way, with the loss of the original creator Eric Kripke, and different writing teams coming and going, the show lost itself, and it turned into something unrecognizable. It turned into a mockery of itself, a joke. With writing so bad it was physically PAINFUL for me to watch. I held on for years, hoping it would eventually pick back up, or by some miracle I would start to see the original show I fell in love with come back. But it never did. So I stopped watching about four seasons ago, after a long, long journey with the show.

I see so many people torn up about the finale and shit-talking the writers when in reality, for me, the show actually died LONG AGO. The fact that so many are only angry with the writers NOW is what I truly find astounding.

I’ve had to sit back and listen to “fans” bitch and moan about how their fantasy ships aren’t being respected in canon, and it INFURIATED me. So many have lost sight about what the show is actually about, and the writers just play into their delusions. Everybody always talks about the SPN fandom being such a respectful, caring fandom and it couldn’t be further from the truth. The fandom ruined the show. It’s literally the worst fandom I’ve ever been a part of and ever will be a part of. So many so-called “fans” want their fantasies to be a reality that it POISONED the show and swallowed it up it until it became this dark, soulless entity. A shell, if you will, of what it once was. It could not be farther away from the show I originally fell in love with, back when the fandom was pretty much just growing. It was this tight-knit community, and I was so proud to be part of it. The fandom was older, wiser, and had respect for the writers and the characters. That fandom that I once held dear is LONG, long gone.

ALL THIS TO SAY. Was I satisfied with the ending? Honestly? Sure.

I already gave up on the show LONG AGO, so this ending isn’t as significant to me as others are making it out to be. I’m seeing memes going around about the rusty nail thing and honestly, while it is true that it’s drastically anti-climactic, I think that’s kind of what I ... didn’t mind about it..? Yes, there was a blatant disregard for 15 years of character development and everything he’d been through to just go and do something extremely CHEAP and insulting like that. But it honestly didn’t even surprise me, with this writing team. They’ve been pulling shit like this for YEARS and no one seemed to care, so. Why all of a sudden do people care about SPN’s shit writing?

The plot of the last, what- ten seasons? has been this crazy over-arching end of the world heaven/hell apocalypse bullshit, which got so tiring after a while that nothing the characters did even mattered anymore. Someone dies? Oh don’t worry, they’re going to come right back unscathed next episode! You sacrifice yourself! and YOU sacrifice yourself! That it was just one redundant mess. Like SPN just became this too-big ocean filled to the brim with trash. So.... honestly? Dean Winchester going out ON A HUNT with Sammy, wasn’t so bad to me. If they wanted him to die, there was really nothing else they had left to do? He’d already sacrificed himself for the planet MANY TIMES lol. Dean’s died so many fucking times like I can’t even count. So who cares that this is his final death? It’s kind of appropriate, if you think about it. Death doesn’t mean as much to the Winchesters as it does to you and me. Sam knew he wasn’t saying goodbye to him forever. Were there a hell of a lot more ways he could have gone out that would have been more respectful? Obviously. But that’s Dabb for you.

I guess the fact that Sam knew he was going to see Dean as soon as he died almost made it OKAY for him to live out his life. (I’m just grasping at straws here because I really hate that Sam lived out an entire life with wife and kid without Dean like it makes me feel like puking lol)

The writing was obviously garbage, but I wasn’t expecting anything different than the drab, heartless, half-assed surface-level writing of the past several years. So, GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, I’m honestly not that mad at it. I’m just kind of shrugging tbh.

Sam got to live out the life he always wanted, and when he finally did die, he returned to Dean. Now the brothers can be together with their loved ones for eternity. That doesn’t sound too bad to me? The show has ALWAYS been about SAM AND DEAN. To end with the two of them is the way it SHOULD be.

Would I have written it differently? Well, I would have written the past TEN seasons differently, so. To me, this was just... fine. I liked the nods to the return to the pilot. That hit me RIGHT in the feels. From Bobby at the Roadhouse, to the original licence plate on the Impala, to some of the lines that were exchanged. Those little nuggets were just lovely, and being a strictly OG-series fan, l felt appreciated in some small way. I also liked how time barely passed for Dean, but a whole lifetime passed for Sam. Him driving the car to Carry on My Wayward Son as Sam lived out his life was as well done as it could be, and them finally reuniting on the bridge where it all began was symbolic AF and I really liked that. So, in conclusion. I’m not mad. (Well, I’m not MADDER than I already was lmao). And for me to not be madder than I already was, is a feat. So I’ll take what I can get. Because if it would have ended with the brothers not being together, I think I would have had to drop everything to fly to California just to flip the writers’ table over and give them a piece of my mind.

Jared and Jensen gave not only that finale but this entire series their all, and regardless of how you feel about the finale, the least we can do is give them our respect. These two actors carried the series for all 15 seasons, baring their souls on screen for us all to watch. And that is a beautiful thing, that even after all these years and all these fluctuating emotions I had about the show, I can still shed tears for the Winchesters and their tragic but beautiful story.

#spn finale #supernatural #supernatural finale #spn series finale #my thoughts #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #Sam and dean #sam winchester #dean winchester #carry on #carry on my wayward son

[deaddovecoterie]

YOOO more angsty RINI question/answers 21, 22, 23, 41, 42

your wish is my command❤️ or however that saying goes, i don’t fuckin know

21. what’s the thing they miss most about each other?

ricky absolutely lovessssss listening to nini sing. she is always humming to herself or singing a soft tune quietly and he’s always straining his ears to catch even just a snippet of anything she’s singing. whenever he’s anxious, she always sings something soft and gives him a long hug, rubbing circles into his back. he finds her voice so soothing, sometimes putting him to sleep. he can’t get enough of her, both her singing voice and just her talking voice; he could listen to her talk for hours, not caring about what it is she’s discussing.

nini on the other hand is so obsessed with rickys hair. she adores his fluffy, soft brown curls with every fibre of her being. she loves running her hands through it and attempting to make small braids when he hasn’t cut it for a while, letting it grow out long and wild. she’s always absentmindedly touching it or taking her fingers through it when they’re on the couching watching a movie. she also bought him this really nice smelling shampoo, so it always smells positively equisit.

22. what’s their go-to breakup/angst song?

nini’s would definitely be something by taylor swift, so probably picture to burn. rickys would be a pop song because he’s not into rap or country. it’d be something by lewis capaldi, so literally anything by him like bruises, before you go, someone you loved, etc. something soulful where you can feel the hurt in their voice

23. who’s more jealous?

defffinitely ricky. he tries to be chill but he can’t help but want nini all to himself. it’s not this whole possessive complex where he can’t let her hang out with anyone but him, but more that he just is unbelievably afraid of losing her to another guy. nini also has her moments too (as we observed in the show with gina), except she doesn’t get jealous often. but when she does? you better look the fuck out.

41. who’s more likely to protect the other?

this is genuinely such a tough question. we know that nini still defended ricky even when they weren’t together (“ricky would never steal my phone”) so i think verbally nini would protect him if that makes sense? like she would lash tf out and rain hell fire on whoever talked shit about ricky. but i also think ricky would throw hands if anyone said anything remotely bad about his bby🥺 he seems like the type of person to get into fights often over stupid shit (nini of course is not stupid shit, but i mean finding any way to get physical so that he can just blow off some steam. if that makes sense? so i think they’re both protective of each other but when it came down to it, ricky would be there to be like “back off bud” if anyone did anything to her

42. if one gets injured, who worries more?

i think that ricky hurts himself so often skateboarding that she’s desensitized by now, but she can still never rest easy when he’s hurt. but i also think that ricky would freak the fuck out whenever nini was even remotely scratched. that being said, nini hates when he treats her like a wounded child. he knows this, and he knows she’s tough as nails, but he can’t help worrying about her. and ricky hates when she fusses when he messes himself up from skateboarding or something. so i’d say they’re both equally worried..??

#hsmtmts #rini #asks #haleys asks #ask game #hey nonny nonny #anon asks

[hs-1dfan]

Every atom of me missed him

Hi loves🌷

I’m back with another story!! It’s has been centuries for me to post something new. Sorry about that. Hopefully this will get me back at the writing game.

 ⚠️Hinting of smut. 

I know the time period for his hip tattoos doesn’t add up here. But it isn’t all set around 2017/18 harry. It’s a bit of a mix.

As always like, reblog and enjoy!

Xx Mir

————————

‘’I love you, Harry,” she blurted as she woke. She found the right side off her bed cold and empty. She missed the muscular, tattooed arm that used to be wrapped around her. Waking up from her dream, she found that he wasn’t there. Sitting up in bed, surrounded with complete darkness around 3:00 A.M, she thought about how her life changed so much after agreeing to take a break. Because in Harry's words, “I can’t deal with this anymore. We need a break. A break from each other to figure out if we still want this.”

In the last few months of their relationship, they argued about everything. The fighting and arguments were things she thought about whenever she woke up in the middle of the night. She recalled all the bad and hurtful things she said in their last fight. After that argument, she realised that the words she said out loud weren’t about him, but of things she was dealing with. Neither one of them were angels. She realised that he worked hard, but she only saw what he didn’t do. All she knew was that she wasn’t making him feel loved or validated. It was something she deeply regretted. The fact that he was away a lot for his job wasn’t making things easier. Moments they spent together were filled with tension. Not a good or sexual tension, just an uncomfortable feeling of not wanting another argument.

In that moment, she just wished Harry was there with her. Maybe trying to fix things and work it all out. Was it too much to ask? She knew it was. It wasn't up to her to make a decision. A few nights ago, she let Harry know that she was sorry for everything that was said and done. That was all she could do.

But the ache of longing to be with him was overpowering. She never knew missing the one you loved the most could take over every fibre of your being. It felt like every atom in her body missed him. This wasn't something she had ever felt before.

The way he smiled at her made it feel like she was the only person in the room. His eyes full of adoration and love. Sometimes it was mixed with lust. The way his eyes darkened and the way his lips would curl up to this smirk. He knew… he knew how to make her feel good.

Or Harry telling corny jokes to her, knowing she would probably not find them funny. His perfect dimples when he smiled. But what made her fall in love with Harry was his love for others, helping people out. He still is a kind and loving person.

Thinking about these things put a smile on her face. Somehow, she lost this way of seeing him. All she focused on were the “bad” things, those typical little things you could get annoyed by. Having some time away from one and other made her remember the great things about him. The only hope she still held onto was that he might decide to give it another try.

Sighing deeply, she looked over to the clock on her nightstand. 4:15 A.M., another hour and fifteen minutes spent on Harry. Luckily, she didn't have work the next morning, so she could wake up later than usual. Getting out of bed, she walked over to the bathroom and took a few sips of water, gazing in the mirror at her own complexion. She switched off the lights and walked over to the bed. After getting comfortable and pulling the duvet up to her neck, she felt that her eyes grow heavy and she soon the drifted off back to sleep.

A few hours later, she received a loud wake up call as someone banged their fist on the front door. Grabbing her phone, she noticed a few missed calls and messages from a number she didn't know. She laid her phone back on the nightstand and walked over to the door to open it.

She couldn't find her voice; she lost every word she had ever learned. Her cheeks flushed and her heart pounded in her throat. He... Harry was here, at her house.

“Can I come in?” His eyes never left hers. How many love songs or movie lines are there with the line “He takes my breath away”?  At that moment, that line made so much sense. Even though her body felt numb, she still stepped aside and let him in.

“I thought it was time to talk. Don't you?” He let her lead them to the living room.

“Yes.. I believe so.”

Both of them sat down on the couch. Not sure who would talk first, they both waited. Harry finally decided to speak up and turned his entire body towards her.

“Let me begin by saying I'm sorry. And don't say I have nothing to be sorry for, because I do. Before we took a break, I was busy with work and I didn't pay enough attention to you when I was with you. Every time we were together, there was always a phone call from clients and colleagues. You never complained about that, until you were done with all of it. I didn't notice you were upset, tired, feeling alone. I've never wanted you to feel like that. So yes… I'm saying sorry. Both of us made mistakes, misjudgements. It took me a while before I realised that.

Right from the beginning, I missed you. Just last night I woke up thinking you were in my arms. But you weren't. I miss your laugh, the way you hate my corny jokes but still laugh about them, the way your eyes light up whenever you see a loved one, the way you are always there for everyone. I miss you. I want you to be in my arms whenever I wake up in the middle of the night. I want us back.”

He looked down at the ground, waiting for her reaction. He was never the one to be completely honest about what was going on in his mind. So this was something that he was not used too.

‘’ I woke up in the middle of the night and thought about you. I wished I was laying in your arms. I miss you. I have missed you for a long time.’’

She was nervous. Not looking at harry but at the ring on her finger. It was a ring that he bought her year and half ago.

‘’ I was mad. Mad at you, but also mad at myself. I said some horrible things to you. After you left I cried my eyes out. Obviously figuratively not literally.. I  mean.. haha ‘’ pointing at her yes. Whenever she got nervous, she ended up rambling.

‘’ I shouldn't have called you a self-centred guy. You’re the least self-centred man I know. But when you decided to take that break something snapped inside of me. Because I was there for you for so many years.. as a friend and partner. To see that you didn't even feel like fighting for us.. I got hurt.

I know that I’ve made mistakes as well. Whenever you got back home, I was more focused on my own issues. Not thinking about you needing to vent, or that you might needed me to listen. So.. I’m sorry. I know I apologised a few days ago. But seeing you now. Makes it more real.”

Harry just looked at her with a blank face. It made her nervous. But then he smiled. First a small curved smile, but then he got a big grin on his face.

“I know you’re sorry. But now we’re both sorry. What’s going to happen now? Because I still love you very much. That never stopped.” Grabbing her hand.

“I want to start fresh. I wouldn’t say get back to where we were, because that didn’t end well. Get back to being how we were before that. Because I would still do anything for you, I love you so much” getting comfortable on the couch, she looked at Harry’s hands holding her own.

The feeling of his cold rings, was something she missed.

He nodded his head, pulling her closer towards him. “I agree. Soooooo? We’re like a thing again?”

Putting her feet on the couch and nuzzling up against harry, “Yes.. we’re a thing again.”

After they were done talking about what has been going on in their lives, they walked over to her kitchen. “God.. all that talking made me hungry,” he said while scratching the back of his neck.

“I know. I’m starving,” she smiled. “What do you want for breakfast? It’s almost half past twelve. I could make some pancakes or just bake some eggs.”

“Pancakes are fine, can I help you out?” And he walked further into the kitchen. “Sure” and she amusingly watched him open kitchen cabinets, trying to find anything that would help them make pancakes.

She changed everything in the house after they broke up..technically they were on a break. A long break, very long. So seeing Harry trying to find everything was kind of amusing.

“Harry…. Harry. HAROLD!” She raised her voice. “What are you looking for?”

“You know… just that stuff.. THIS!” And he held up the flour. “We are making them the Dutch way right? Those big pancakes?”

“Yeah we are. Those are the only ones I know how to make” shrugging her shoulders. They put every ingredient in a bowl and started to mix it all together.

Harry looked at her and smiled. She looked beautiful with her hair in a bun, biting her lip out of concentration trying to mix everything together. He was about to clean up the flour, when he suddenly saw the flour on his shirt.

She hit him on his shirt. When Harry looked at her, he saw that she was shocked. But then started to laugh uncontrollably.

“I...I… I’m sooo sorry”  and snorted a little bit.

“It’s okay. You’ve never been able to hit the mark.” Grabbing a fist full of flour. “Let me show you how it’s done” and he threw the flour right in her face.

“OH.. “ wiping the flour off of her face. Making her way over to Harry. She went in for a hug, which he happily accepted. She had the biggest smile on her face. This was something they had both missed.

What harry didn’t realise was that she grabbed a bottle of chocolate syrup. After the hug she turned away for a second or three. “Hey love?”

“Hmm” And he lifted his head, while doing that he felt a sticky substance over his face.

Wiping his finger over his face, he saw that it was chocolate syrup. “What…the fuck.. was that for. We’re too old for a food fight. We could use this for so much  more” giving her a big smirk.

“No one is ever too old for a food fight. Oh really? What else can we do with chocolate syrup?” and she proudly put down the chocolate syrup.

Harry slowly walked over to where she was standing, not looking anywhere else but her eyes. She knew what he was about to do, and didn’t stop him.

He lifted her up on the counter, putting himself between her legs. He grabbed and opened the syrup bottle, holding it upside down and slowly pouring a little bit on her chest. Seeing the chocolate syrup making its way down her body, he moved closer towards her and swooped some of the liquid up with his finger.

“That’s something you can do with chocolate syrup”. He smiled at her, but his eyes were dark and full of lust.

She placed one arm around his neck and the other caressed his cheek. “What now harry?”

Harry didn’t answer her for a few seconds. He was too busy with placing kisses on her neck. While he was moving his hands from her hips to her inner thighs he answered her. ‘’Hmm.. Good question. What now?’’ He covered every single sweet spot that she had, and it was having the effect that he wanted.

She moaned and squirmed underneath his touch, leaning her head backwards in pleasure. Her hands made their way on his back, slightly digging her nails in his back. ‘’Hmm’’ a deep groan could be heard in her entire flat. A small smile covered her face, hearing Harry moan was the sexiest thing in the world.

Harry slowly moved his kisses to her ear and jawline. Their foreheads touched, looking into each other eyes. He placed one hand on her cheek. They both just gazed into each other eyes. A smile covers both of their faces.

While they were staring at each other’s eyes, his hands found their way to her shirt and started to unbutton them. At the same time she was trying to lift up his shirt, that clearly failed because they were both trying in a hurry to get the clothes off. When harry pulled his shirt over his head, she saw that he had a new tattoos. She moved her fingers over his new tattoos. ‘’You have a two new ones I see.. I like it. Brings out your v-line’’ she told harry with a smirk on her face.

‘’Hmm.. Yeah I did get two new ones. Few months ago..’’ breathing heavily. And when harry opened the last button of her shirt he saw that she had gotten her first tattoo. ‘’So did you, I see. First one? I like it”.

She just nodded “yuppp.” emphasising the p.

His hands moved over her from her hips, to her stomach. He cupped her breast, and one hand went to her back. Opening the clips of her bra.

The cold air gave her goosebumps, or it was just harry’s rings. God how she missed those rings. The way the cold shiny jewellery made contact with her body. Either way she was loving the feeling he gave to her, once again.  

“Come on” and she jumped of the kitchen counter. Taking Harry’s hand and leading him to her bedroom. The room was completely silent, neither of them spoke a word to each other. There was no need to talk.

Grabbing her hips, he slowly moved her backwards to the bed. His hands traveled all over her body, touching her sides moving up to her chest and then stopped at her neck. Both of his hands cupped her face, and he caressed her cheek with his thumb. And gave her small pecks on her lips.

“I love you” and he kissed her more passionate this time.

Turning him around she pushed him on the bed. He moved to the headboard. She crawled over the bed and straddled him. Her hair was loose, a few strands of hair covered her face.

They  just looked at each other. Harry liked this.. he wanted slowness, the closeness and warmth. Removing a piece of her out of her face, he planted a kiss on her lips. Turning her around, he made his way down.

He put his head between her legs, nuzzling at first. His beard was a little rough on the insides of my thighs. Then with his lips, then his tongue, he struck fire. She had to cry out in astonishment, at being touched in that right place.

There are no words, only sensation, smooth sensation. They were longing for each other.

#hs1dfanwriting #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry fanfic #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #1d imagine

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Apprentice

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Uhhhhh yep!! I can’t even believe how different it was. Every scene has taken on an entirely different colour and flavour in my memory. I skimmed far too much the first time, yes, but also I just went into it with the wrong framework. I think I’ve mentioned this before but my mum recommended me these books on the basis of my love of A Song of Ice and Fire. She directly compared them and said how similar they were. Because of RotE’s length I had been putting it off for years, and only finally picked up Assassin’s Apprentice because I was itching to do an ASOIAF reread but was (and am) trying to wait until Winds of Winter to do it. 

So you can imagine the difficulty settling into a book like Assassin’s Apprentice when you’re expecting Game of Thrones. I remember my overall impression on my first read being that it was a pretty standard fantasy novel with the only really exceptional thing about it being the characters and their relationships. Characters are always my top priority so it was enough to keep me invested and progressing onto the next book and the rest of the series, but I did so not having absorbed nearly as much as I should have from the first book in the series.

Now, just from revisiting that first book, my understanding of Fitz and the world he operates in has exponentially increased and I know that will transform my experience of every book going forward. I really made sure to make myself slow down and read every word; absorb descriptions and just be in each moment without racing to the next one. Overall this book (and all the Fitz books) are much more concerned with the human condition and the effects of abuse and trauma and deep loneliness than being an epic fantasy. In fact it barely reads like fantasy at all; it’s incredibly grounded and focused. Of course the elements are there, but while Assassin’s Apprentice may not be as subversive as the rest of the series, it is certainly not generic fantasy. This book just feels alive to me now in a way it didn’t before against the rest of the series. I can regard it as a beautiful piece of the puzzle in its own right instead of just the setup. I wanna reiterate I always really liked Assassin’s Apprentice but it just paled in comparison to my unholy obsession with the rest of it. Idk this reread just really shifted a lot of things into perspective for me and I’m excited!!

Something you can’t believe you forgot

So so much but most ridiculous GALEN IS QUEEN DESIRE’S BASTARD am I dumb??? I didn’t even remember until it was explicitly stated lol

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

It’s gotta be a tie between the Fool, Kettricken and Patience (realising there is a common theme here of Fitz making an idiot of himself). I genuinely was laughing so hard when Fitz is like, actively making himself smaller and so pleased with himself trying to help the Fool, and of course the Fool’s iconic “listen you idiot” ugh it’s just chef’s kiss baby, that’s what we in the biz call a meet-cute! (I know they have seen each other before, but this is the first time the Fool talks to Fitz). Then of course we have Kettricken who poisons Fitz at their first meeting, and Patience who Fitz continuously embarrasses himself in front of before even realising who she is. The fact that all three of these people end up being some of Fitz’s only genuinely loving relationships makes it even better.

Favourite character arcs

I think I’ve gotta go with Verity and Burrich. Verity goes from kind of a bloke’s bloke (he was so different in the beginning than I remembered!) to being a proper King-in-Waiting. He is self-sacrificial but not for pride; he genuinely cares deeply for his people, as a whole and as individuals, and will do anything it takes to protect them. He is far from perfect, and he could have done a lot more for Fitz when he was younger, but once Fitz is in his eyeline and he is confronted with the life the boy has led he seems suitably shamed and tries to do his best for him. He’s a good boy and I love him!

Burrich of course is just. unlucky. His health deteriorates due to injuries. He gets saddled with some kid and is burdened to bring him up to an impossible standard he has set himself (to not shame a man he has an impossibly high opinion of). He’s deprived of a job he loved and was good at, and most importantly he’s deprived of his boyfriend I mean lover I mean “master”.

His arc is not a happy one at all but it is compelling, and I can’t help but love him and feel for him despite also disagreeing with him on almost everything :)

Favourite quote/s

Unfortunately I don’t have any tabs atm so I couldn’t really keep track, but my heart exploded when Fitz said to the Fool after going into his room, “I wish I had a place that were as much me as that place is you.”

Favourite relationships

Fitz/Fool obviously. Even though they don’t have that many interactions in this book I loved every single one of them. The Fool volunteering to care for Smithy after Fitz has endured a long day of horrendous abuse is just!!!!! Kindness! What a concept! I could really see why they develop such a deep bond so quickly.

Fitz/Burrich is just so real and so compelling and it hurts me but I love it. Fitz/Chade breaks my heart bc Chade is manipulating his way into Fitz’s heart - I think without realising it a lot of the time bc he is lonely too, but the power imbalance is not okay when he is the centre of Fitz’s world for a long time and the closest thing he has to a friend. Knowing how Chade behaves not too much later just makes it even worse when he is so nice in this book because it just shows why Fitz has such a hard time being his own person and saying no to Chade ever.

Fitz/Verity for obvious reasons. Fitz/Hands!! They’re cute but it makes me sad that Hands betrays him in AQ. Weirdly I liked Fitz/Molly way more this time but more their friendship than anything. And next is Royal Assassin and their deeply toxic romance soooooo.

And Fitz and his puppies BUT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT.

Favourite setting

Do yourself a favour and read the description of the Mountain Kingdom and specifically the palace. It is STUNNING and something I completely skimmed over the first time cos I’m a dumb idiot bitch I could have been picturing a city of huge colourful tulips all this time but fuck me I guess!!

Favourite chapter

As a rereader I think I’ve gotta say chapter one. There’s just so much to pick apart all crammed into one chapter. It still holds a lot of mystery even when you’ve read the entire series.

Most loved character

At this point I’ve gotta say Fitz. That’s who my heart is with during this book and he NEEDS IT

Most hated character

Okay I found Regal a much better villain on this read and hated him A LOT but whomst I despised even more w the very fibre of my being was Galen bitch disgusting!!!!!! Verity was so like, smug?? when he killed him and it was so satisfying. It’s what she deserves!!

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Literally this whole book was so harsh and I was perpetually emo throughout but off the top of my head, Fitz’s depressive episode after Shrewd and Chade test his loyalty fricking broke me, as did the entirety of Galen’s abuse/training; since I was paying so much more attention this time it hit a lot harder that he is an absolute textbook abuser and the psychological torment he inflicts on Fitz is just. deeply upsetting to say the least. It really got under my skin.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Okay this is where I just dump all the notes I took while reading that don’t fit anywhere else. It’ll be long lol so strap in.

- It’s never not funny to me that Narrator Fitz comes across as like a hundred years old when in actuality he is like twenty. Also that he looks back on himself with such a sense of wisdom and superiority, yet we know there is dumbarsery aplenty to come. Amazing.

- I’ve never really registered that for the first six years of his life Fitz had a mother who loved him and I don’t know how to feel about that

- REVELATION THAT SEEMS REALLY OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT: Fitz most likely only spoke Chyurdan when he was abandoned, which would have played a huge role in why he was not only quiet but unresponsive to what was happening around him. He probably didn’t even understand that he wasn’t going to see his mother again until much later, and he didn’t know how to ask questions. When he goes to the Mountain Kingdom and Kettricken comments that he speaks Chyurdan like someone remembering the language he doesn’t comment on it, so it’s likely that future Fitz doesn’t register that he didn’t always speak Six Duchies(?). He mentions in the narration that the memory of being abandoned is incredibly stark but not necessarily reliable, and possibly shaped by the Skill, which to me opens up the possibility that his memory is essentially auto-translating for him things he didn’t understand at the time. We also know that at the time of writing this he’s given up his memories of his mother etc. up to the stone dragon, so obviously his recollections of these traumatic events are going to be warped by that. Anyway thanks to my sister for pointing this out and being much smarter than me.

- According to Fitz’s grandfather, Chivalry always knew about Fitz. Don’t know how trustworthy a man desperate to yeet his grandson out of his care is but there ya go.

- Weird and hilarious that Shrewd tries to see Fitz on the day he arrives but then just like. What? Forgets about him? For years? lol

- Chade literally tells Fitz that he is a king’s man now and that’s the most important thing about him YIKES

- Chade becomes the closest thing Fitz has to a friend for quite a long time and that is fucking depressing

- It’s interesting that Chade had to be convinced to teach Fitz. It’s hinted at that there was an ~incident~ the last time they tried to train someone, followed by a long period of Chade being left to rot in the walls.

- Not to be out here diagnosing fictional characters but like.Fitz. Literally has depression.

- Fitz having to turn down Fedwren’s offer of apprenticing for him is so sad. It’s the life Fitz should have had.

- The Fool’s non-binary gender is mentioned as early as Chapter Nine! (Published in 1995! We have no choice but to stan!)

- “So quickly we were all made accomplices in our own degradation.” OOF.

- I really realised this time that the reason Fitz seems so shit at things he trained his whole life for later is because all that training was interrupted by many months of isolation, deprivation and abuse. All at the age of like 13-14. He got out of the habit of subconsciously acting in a way that Burrich or Chade would approve of. For a long time the only person he needed approval from was Galen, and he became completely single-minded about it because that was his means of survival. And you don’t just recover from that - especially since neither Chade or Burrich would give him the time of day for an extended period *after* his training was done. When Chade did finally talk to him again it wasn’t to recommence training really; he just gave him a bunch of tasks to do. By the time Fitz got to the Mountain Kingdom he was completely out of practice, and still managed pretty bloody well in spite of it.

- Kind of related to the last point: I love that while Fitz isn’t a savant at anything he’s a pretty realistic jack of all trades. He not only has an aptitude for learning almost any skill or subject but a genuine broad curiosity too. It’s one of the few things that is just him, ya know? It’s just his personality and something he can find joy in, even if it does also factor into his being used by others.

- Imagine being Burrich and finding out that your son thought you were a dog murderer for like ten years lol ouch

- Fitz thinks about the Fool soooo often in the Mountain Kingdom, pointing out things that remind him of him, or things he would like. It’s v soft tbh I love them so much!!

- Another dumb thing I forgot is that Regal is convinced that Shrewd had Fitz poison his mother to death, which adds a rather important layer onto his motivations lol

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

#rote #realm of the elderlings #realm of the quarantine #robin hobb #this has taken many days to finish bc tumblr has been a bully!!

[alternislatronemhq]

Congrats, BEE, you have been accepted to AL for the role of DOLORES UMBRIDGE (FC:Olivia Taylor Dudley). OH MY GOODNESS, BEE! Your portrayal of Dolores was just stunning. I found myself laughing in places and gasping in others. You’ve really gotten into the head of a character that is just awful and played that out in a way that’s captivating. I can’t wait to see what chaos she brings to the dash! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home (once again), we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — Bee age — 29 pronouns — She/her timezone — MST activity level — I have quite a bit of free time at the moment! I can usually manage being on for at least a little while every day and I’ll average a handful of replies a week at a minimum. any questions? —No questions per se, just a small disclaimer to let anyone reading know that I am a tolerant and open-minded individual, so while I’m excited for the creative challenge and entertainment of potentially writing an absolutely loathsome person like Ms. Dolores Jane Umbridge, anything offensive that she says or thinks or does IC does not reflect my own personal views!

IC Overview

name — Dolores Jane Umbridge—but my friends call me Lo, at least they would if I had any FRIENDS. -hold for laughter- Yeah, eat your fucking hearts out all you moronic lowlife swine. Hem hem. faceclaim — Olivia Taylor Dudley, Jenna Coleman, Mae Whitman age — 32 gender — Cis-female, and uncomfortably cutesy girly-girl for a woman over thirty. Hyperfemme caricature with BDE. Never met a shade of pink she didn’t just love.

sexuality — Outwardly, all Dolores cares about is locating the picture-perfect partner for the type of life she wants to be seen as having and lock them down, and in her mind that person is a man. She wants a husband with money and looks and brains and power, but not so much of any one that it would outshine her; she craves to be in the power seat of a power couple, and to get the attention she feels she’s always been unjustly robbed of. She’s got no interest whatsoever in romance and finds the whole concept a laughable waste of time. But for all she projects to the world, Dolores in reality harbors a deep, deep, DEEPDEEPDEEP same-sex attraction. She has thoroughly locked herself in that closet and a Norwegian Ridgeback swallowed the key.

patronus —Persian cat. This animal has all the appearance of being sweet and cuddly, but rub her the wrong way and those barely-retracted claws are coming out in an instant. Vain, independent, calculating, haughty, and very, very well-groomed at all times.

boggart —Stemming from her Napoleon Complex, Dolores’ boggart takes the form of herself shrunken down like Alice in Wonderland after sipping the drink me potion; her voice squeaks higher and higher into an undetectable range no matter how loud she yells and she can just barely avoid getting squashed beneath someone else’s disgusting, dirty shoes. Dolores as a person demands attention to function and she simply will not tolerate being made to feel literally small.

IC In Depth

personality traits —

tidy - Dolores is obsessed with beauty and perfection and symmetry in all things and nothing makes her skin crawl more than disorder—to the extent that after her mother and father split and she lived full-time with her father, Dolores developed OCD (though it hasn’t been properly diagnosed as such, and Dolores would immediately write off anyone who attempted to call it that to her face). In her mind she is simply particular; she has very high standards and she expects the world to rise to them, or else she’ll root out the filth around her weed by weed. She cut off the heads of her stuffies who stepped out of line at her toddler-age tea parties you’d better believe she’d do the same to you and care less about it.

passive aggressive - Dolores is well-known for her disconcerting calm in face of disagreements, her calculated cute-sweet demeanor and high-pitched voice. But make no mistake; Dolores is sugar laced with arsenic. In all likelihood she hates your guts and has already cooked up an in-depth five-year plan to chip away at you piece by painstaking piece. It’s a mystery how she manages to keep all that highly-pressurized rage simmering beneath the surface the way she’s somehow perfected, because she’s wound up so tight that it’s a wonder her eyes don’t pop out of her damn head and she’s about twenty-five seconds away from a full-blown psychotic break on a good day.

jealous - Dolores wants what she feels she’s due, plain and simple. When she sees others gain the things she wants while she gets overlooked, it stokes that ever-burning vindictive flame inside of her. It started in early childhood when her father gave attention to anyone or anything that wasn’t her, and it’s only gotten worse every day since.

intolerant - At this point in her life, her infamous intolerance is still in its earliest seed stages, but the seed is planted. One of the most interesting things for me about writing a character like Dolores at this age is to see how and why this mentality grows out of experiences she encounters in these formative years.

character biography —

Born ten pounds of spunk in a four pound, five ounce package, Dolores Jane Umbridge came into this world pink and perfect.

Perfect. Perfect. Perfectperfectperfect.

Even from a young age it was all Dolores cared about. Her father Orford Umbridge would whisper to Dolores what a beautiful perfect princess she was and Dolores believed it with every fibre of her being. Beautiful. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

Then her mother Ellen gave birth to a younger brother who showed not the faintest trace of magic, and that was not perfect. The rift between parents and siblings grew into a cavern as Orford’s whispering words turned against Ellen; her fault. Worthless. Vile. Mudblood. Filthy Squib. Repulsive. Disgraceful. Wrong.

It wasn’t long before the couple split up, with Ellen and her son being banished to the Muggle world, and then it was just Orford and Dolores, together in their once-more perfect world.

And would that it could have stayed that way forever. Orford had always had wandering eyes and Dolores, desperate always to be the only girl in her father’s life, grew jealous and suspicious and hateful (and nonononono NOT anything else nope) for the beautiful vapid creatures that drew his gaze, threatening to upend what was hers.

Knowing nothing beyond her childhood of constant praise and adoration, Dolores went to Hogwarts expecting the world to cater to her every whim. So when people didn’t immediately kiss the ground she walked on, it made her angry. When all the girls and boys didn’t fall all over themselves to try and woo her, it made her furious. When the professors and adults didn’t sing her vast praises on high, it made her outraged.

How was everyone on earth too fucking useless to see how perfect she was?!

Dolores was a bundle of dynamite wrapped up in a pretty pink bow, just waiting to blow.

She went to the Ministry with adjusted expectations on being outright offered what she knew she deserved, and was proven right when she was overlooked by grotesquely unqualified superiors in favor of the sniveling ingrates all around her. But Dolores was prepared to play the long game and bide her time, just waiting for that one weak crack in the system where she could dig in her knuckle and crumble an empire with a smile on her face.

And she thought she’d found that perfect crack when she went to the Dark Lord. Surely he would see Dolores for all she was worth, surely he would bestow upon her all that power, finally, finally, finally. He was only a silly man, after all.

But the foul, imperfect world let Dolores down again. The Dark Lord gave his preference to some other detestable twots just like Dolores always feared Orford would, and then he paid the price for his idiocy when he fell from power (serves him right the arrogant swine), and Dolores returned to her long game at the Ministry with a newfound fervor to crush all who dared try to overlook her beneath her pink kitten heels.

Waiting for the next perfect move to present itself. And when it does, she’ll be ready.

plot ideas —

Girlsgirlsgirls. I would love an opportunity to unpack some of Dolores’ deeply rooted internalized homophobia. Maybe it’s an openly gay and proud woman who drives Dolores up the wall, maybe it’s a beautiful lady who despite all of Dolores’ efforts starts to get beneath her skin, someone she can’t seem to shake… This could go in so many directions and I’m here for them all!

Ministry Spats. Anyone she might have dustups with on her Ministry stomping grounds—Arthur Weasley, Alastor Moody, etc. Also anyone with pro-creature leanings and/or sentiments at this stage could greatly inform her later mindset and I would love to have them interact.

extra —

Headcanon: Dolores hates children; she thinks they’re disgusting tiny wastes of breath and absolutely looks down on anyone who has chosen the family plan for their life.

#al:accepted #harry potter rp #hp rp #marauders rp #marauders era rp #dolores umbridge

[snowflakebyyou]

bit of real talk gibberish

Have you ever wondered why your life has gone in the direction it has? Why you fell out with that friend? Why you love that person but not the other one? Why you had this urge to go to your favorite beach this day and the next day the person you loved was in the exact spot?

I do. All the time. I wonder why the universe works the way it does. I believe in the universe, and I also believe your everyday is mapped out, the day you are born, with the chance to change every time you make a choice different to what the universe predicted for you. I try my best to believe the universe knows what’s best for me and every mistake, heartbreak, failure, fight or loss, is teaching me a different lesson each time. If I don’t believe in this, I swear I wouldn’t know what to turn to when I feel lost; which is quite often. ‘

The last couple of months have been really tough on my mental state as well as my self-confidence. As I’m sure it has been for everyone, as we all go through this COVID mess together. But for me personally, when this all started, I felt I was in a really good place, I felt I was ready to meet someone, put my all into someone and finally work into a relationship, that for years I just never had the emotional availability for. Turns out it just must not have been the right time that I thought it was. A potential dude turned out to not be, and by no fault of his. I guess having attention from someone, or not even that, feeling like someone was into you when you’re into them, when I was feeling good about myself, it just made me jump the gun a bit. It did show me that the qualities and attributes he had are something I was attracted too and felt I needed. So I try look at the situation like that- that he was popped into my chapter for a bit of fun and a wakeup call that there is great guys that work well for me, I just have to keep open, and keep looking. My ego was definitely bruised by this one and I embarrass myself a bit by reaching out and constantly being unanswered. I take time to move on, I’m working on it. And all I can think of is, you know what?, in 10 years, if I even remember him, I’ll look back and laugh at it and cheers to my 21 year old self, for being so fucking dramatic, and I’ll still love every bit of myself, because myself today, will make me the woman I’m meant to be at 31, and the kind of mother I’m going to be.

ANYWAY. That’s the most recent bump in my long winding road of life. Other than that, I do wonder what my career is going to be? I definitely do not want to be in my current choice of work, and that is becoming more evident each day I go to work. But honestly, I don’t know what else I could do? I’m almost done an admin course and I’m over it, and I basically have no other skill that is ‘make-a-living worthy’. It’s an awkward time, people I know are getting engaged or married, having a baby or moving out or have these amazing careers already. I hate comparing to other people, but I feel sometimes it’s a natural reaction when you’re feeling low.

I will forever question why people act the way they do, why they treat people the way they do, why they are the way they are. I do that with myself, so it’s only natural I analyze everyone else around me. I just want to understand how we are ok with hurting people? Sometimes we have to be selfish, and if you don’t like or love someone they do you, then of course you can’t continue, but then I also look think the people that are too coward to break it off with someone , purely because they’re afraid of how that person will feel or react? When in reality, keeping someone around, in a relationship that you aren’t even in yourself, is 100% more heartbreaking and traumatic than just ending it. Both cause pain, both are hard. But in the end, you give that person their time, their life, their hope back, to find someone who will love them with every fibre of their being. Whereas when you stay with them or entertain them to save the drama, the argument or the tears. You are dragging out the inevitable end anyway, to save yourself. Letting someone go along life thinking you love them, or want to still be them, when in reality you’re done. Is fucking horrible, and I hope I never have to go through it properly. Just be honest, BE FUCKING HONEST. Not only do you literally save someone else from even more pain, but you grow and feel even better as a person.

L xox

[enter-the-phantom]

A long and useless post listing the things I love about my beautiful boyfriend (AU) Severus. Please disregard.

-His collection of apothecary/potions jars and bottles. He won’t even let me touch them. He’s up to like 100 now and he’s got some cool ones

-His eyes are like this shade of black that shouldn’t legally exist like they’re dark as sin

-Also his long dark eyelashes. He sometimes does this unconscious little flutter, especially when he’s flustered or embarrassed, and it’s so gorgeous

-He’s so pale he practically glows and he’s just gorgeous holy shit

-His shoulders and neck and collarbones especially make me want to jump off a cliff

-His stupid Derbyshire accent, it’s so dorky and it makes everything he says three times hotter

-He’s got like several types of blushes and they’re all perfect:

The Tsundere Blush™: for the “It’s not like I like you!”. He looks like he’s going to kill a man and his cheeks get all pink

The Happy/Sweet Blush™: reserved for kisses and early morning pillow talk. Accompanied by a tiny angelic smile

The Aroused Blush™: holy fuck this one is so hot. He gets really fidgety and won’t look directly at you and his whole face gets red and it’s obvious he’s trying so hard not to think what’s he’s clearing thinking. Also lip-biting

The Oh My God She’s Cute Blush™: Cute crushing baby. He hides behind his hair and looks down so you can’t see how red he is and just gets really quiet

-His handwriting. It’s so cramped so he can just take tons of unnecessary notes but it’s also really elegant and sexy

-Holy fuck his hands

-He’s got such long elegant fingers and they’re so pale and you can see the tendons moving and I just?? Want them all over me??

-When he ties his hair back and then takes it down and it does The Whoosh™

-The way he bites his lip when he’s studying and thinking really hard. Also when he’s hot and bothered and trying to hide it. The latter just...kills me

-Kinda nsfw but...the faces. Oh my word the faces and the noises

-He’s so smart?? I just want to listen to him talk for hours about magical spell theory and potions innovations he’s made and watch him write his notes and annotations and just he’s so damn smart it’s so sexy omg

-The way he cuddles is just so aggressive and needy and possessive. He holds you like you’re his lifeline and once you’re in his arms you’re not leaving until he lets you

-But also the way he loves to be held. He just wants you to hug him close and stroke his hair and let him be weak

-The way he closes his eyes when he kisses you and has to put his hands on you somewhere

-His nose!!! He has such a distinctive, handsome profile and I love it so much? Also it’s so boop-able. World’s most boop-able nose

-The way he looks in Loki’s shirts when his laundry isn’t done yet. They’re too big so they sort of fall around his shoulders and neck and show off his sexy collarbones

-He never believes you when you tell him how handsome and perfect he is but gets like personally offended when he tells you you’re beautiful and you disagree

-How stupidly shy he is like he’s always dramatically averting his eyes when I’m changing or just get out of the shower but it’s so blatantly obvious he’s suppressing fantasies

-And then when you try to get kissy with him later he’s stubbornly refusing to admit how turned on he is even though he’s super red and clearly quite uncomfortably aroused

-That little smile and tiny blush he makes when I say his name

-He hates it so much when I call him “Snickerdoodle” and “Sevvykins” but he sometimes slips and calls me “Princess” and then gets all blushy

-Those stupid emo combat boots he’s been wearing for years and refuses to get rid of and just keeps repairing

-The way he looks in that uniform?? All geeky and trying to look put together with his stupid tie and blouse and cardigan sweater and those tight pants

-He’s always cold which means lots of sweaters and he looks so damn cute in all of them

-The way his eyes light up when he’s in a bookstore, or potions class, or talking about something he’s passionate about

-How obvious he makes it that he’s desperately in love. Like he can’t go two minutes without glancing at me and he’s not into PDA but he can’t stop himself from just reaching out and stroking my hand with a finger to reassure himself I’m there and I’m his

-The way he smells. Like books and herbs and sweaters and just...him

-When he gets jealous. He won’t confront the person he’s jealous of but he gets all grumpy and annoyed and then later gets really aggressive with his kisses and “You’re mine. How many times do I have to remind you?”

-His little jealous glares are so hot too just

-The way he can cut people to ribbons with his words so easily but can also just make you melt when he wants to with sweet talk

-That little spot on his neck just below his jawline that drives him crazy

-The dark circles/hollows under his eyes, they just make him look so dark??

-The way he absolutely melts and becomes totally helpless when you start stroking/playing with his hair

-The way he always sort of looks down when he smiles like he’s trying to hide it

-How incredibly loyal and protective he is

-How embarrassingly unathletic and awful at sports he is. He can use a broomstick if he really needs to but forget Quidditch, he will literally fall off and break something. I mean those cauldrons aren’t light but besides carrying those around he can’t do anything physical.

-...well okay except for one thing. He really excels at that one physical thing though like wow >\\\\<

-The way he loves with every fibre of his being or not at all

-I just really really love him and I’m so happy I get to be with him 🖤

#severus snape #hogwarts au #flyingfox #pls dont reblog thank you

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Thoughts from my recent LOST re-watch

There is absolutely no coherence to this, so please forgive me. It’s just a very long list of all of the random thoughts I’ve had throughout my re-watch of LOST about my opinions on characters, ships, plot lines etc. and how they’ve changed or stayed the same. Feel free to send me an ask if you want me to expand on any of these points. 

Season 1 is perfection. Literal perfection. I can’t find a single criticism for it. The mystery, the suspense, the anticipation, the characterisation, the plot, the build-up. Just everything. It doesn’t matter how many times I watch it, it’s still so impactful and the pilot is one of the best pilots of any show I’ve ever seen

It’s still so funny that all of the characters so happen to have the perfect combination of skills to survive - Jack the Doctor, Locke the Hunter, Sayid the Soldier and Kate the Tracker

I always knew it anyway, but the Jack/Kate/Sawyer triangle really is awful. And the fact that they (attempted) to bring Ana Lucia into it and then actually did bring Juliet in to make it a love square is even worse. 

Jack and Juliet actually kind of make sense as a romantic pairing and have good chemistry (but Suliet still rule all) 

Kate is the worst character on the show. I’m sorry, I’ve tried to like her but I never have. She doesn’t undergo any development until around the time she gets Aaron in season 5 - she kills her father in cold blood and justifies it by saying he was a violent drunk (hello, there’s nothing that can justify murder with maybe the exception of self defence), she then goes on the run where she constantly lies, schemes and manipulates to get what she wants, which ultimately leads to her best friend getting killed in the crossfire. From the second she lands on the island she consistently plays Sawyer and Jack off one another by taking advantage of their feelings for her without any consideration to how that impacts them 

John Locke is an asshole a majority of the time and I really don’t like him (this doesn’t include pre-island and flash-sideways John, who’s a sweetheart) 

Charlie Pace is also an asshole and I don’t know how I didn’t see this sooner

I’ll never be over Boone’s death or the fact that he died for nothing because of Locke

Walt getting taken from the raft is still one of the most shocking and haunting moments of the series

Hugo Reyes is the definition of cinnamon roll, I love him with every fibre of my being and LOST wouldn’t be what is is without him

Kate treats Sawyer like shit from the beginning and he deserves so much better. I’m not gonna lie, I still don’t understand how or why Sawyer falls in love with her

Also what is that bullshit with them having sex in the cage? I know it’s supposed to be this hot-we-could-die-at-any-moment raw sex but it just comes across as very weird?? Even if they don’t know there’s cameras on them, they’re outside in the open where anybody could see them at any time

Shannon is a very misunderstood character who deserved better. So. much. better.

I still hate Ben, but he’s one of the best written villains in television I’ve ever seen

Charlie/Claire is the worst romance in the world. They have no chemistry, Charlie develops an obsession with her and practically stalks her, forces her to do what he wants her to do, constantly tries to take over with Aaron despite having absolutely no right to. There is just nothing even remotely redeeming about this ship and I still don’t get it

Locke’s musical theme makes me cry every single time 

And following on from that, as much as I dislike Locke, his flashbacks always make me cry. “Don’t tell me what I can’t do, ever!”, when he gets in the wheelchair in the hospital after his father has pushed him out of the window and when he cries in the car after his father tells him he’s not wanted. It’s heartbreaking 

I still can’t get over all the amazing character connections - Charlie saving Nadia, Sayid meeting Kate’s father and Kelvin during the war, Jack meeting Desmond before the island, Christian being Claire’s father, Christian and Ana Lucia going to Australia together, Sawyer meeting Christian in the bar etc. - it’s all so beautifully done in a way that feels authentic and links the characters (even the ones with more superficial ties) together so well

Michael is not a bad person and is unfairly hated. He’s just a father that did what any parent would do to keep their child safe 

Hurley and Libby are sweet but severely underdeveloped

I actually really dig the episode about Paulo and Nikki

Eko has such a touching and emotional arc, which although short, is very well rounded

The Other 48 Days is still one of the most chilling episodes of the series

It’s sad that the Tailies were all killed off so prematurely, I feel like they all had potential to be more

Jin’s development is so unappreciated. He’s probably the character that goes through the most amount of growth from the pilot to the finale

I know I should feel sorry for Claire (and part of me does), but I still find her too annoying to feel anything but dislike for her

Desmond and Penny’s love story is freakin’ beautiful and nothing can compare

Also how cute are Rose and Bernard? I’ve come to appreciate their relationship so much. They’re literally just two people who love each other in the purest way and want to be together. It’s so beautiful

Sayid is one of the best characters on the show and my love for him has been reaffirmed 

I understand the appeal of Sayid and Shannon but Nadia was Sayid’s soul mate and no one can tell me otherwise

Jack is probably the most unstable character on the show but it’s never acknowledged

Am I the only one that notices that Charlie flat-out lies about not being able to swim? In season 1 when Joanna is drowning Charlie tells Jack he can’t go in to help her because he can’t swim, but he consistently dreams about swimming to save Aaron, Desmond has a vision of him saving Claire from drowning and in season 2 he flat out tells everyone he’s swimming junior champion and swims down to the Looking Glass. Is this Charlie being a liar or simply a fault of the writers, I wonder? 

The episode where Sawyer, Jin and Hurley fix up the Dharma car still makes me so happy

Sun and Jin’s relationship is one of the best developed fictional ships I’ve ever seen. It’s so rare that we actually get to see a married couple who are on the verge of breaking up actually love each other enough to work their asses off to make it work and end up being happier and more in love with each other more than ever before

The Others are still absolutely terrifying in seasons 1 and 2 before we find out who they are

Charlie and Hurley’s friendship is overrated 

Adding to that some underrated dynamics are - Sayid and Desmond (in The Constant Sayid blindly does everything in his power to help Desmond despite not understanding what the hell is going on with him), Kate and Sayid, Hurley and Sayid, Michael, Sawyer and Jin, Shannon and Walt, Boone and Shannon, Eko and Ana.

Jack is by far the most flawed protagonist I’ve seen in any show

I’m intrigued to know what direction Ana Lucia’s character would’ve gone in if she’d survived

The musical themes are still the best of any show I’ve ever seen. I love that each character has their own theme which perfectly encapsulates them

The way that everyone just forgets about Claire after she goes missing and don’t even attempt to find her is so bad. Particularly when you consider the fact that whenever anyone else has gone missing or were kidnapped - Jack, Kate, Michael, Hurley - they’ve gone on a rescue mission immediately 

I’ve always been indifferent to Sun but I realise now that I don’t like her. She’s very hard to connect with and in the last seasons she becomes completely irrelevant and has no personality what-so-ever

Jack reacts so coldly to finding out that Claire is his sister. Like he finds out, he’s shocked, has tears in his eyes but nothing changes in how he behaves and thinks about Claire and Aaron, which makes no sense (but I’m glad we got to see this explored in the Flash Sideways)

Danielle and Alex Rousseau deserved better. So much better

All these people that accuse the show of having an abundance of plot-holes just aren’t paying attention or want everything to be spoon fed to them. There’s actually only about 1 or 2 inconsistencies big enough to be considered a plot-hole (the main one being that Danielle actually sees Ben face-to-face when he kidnaps Alex, but later on doesn’t recognise him when she captures him in a net) and everything is tied together perfectly

I didn’t realise before but season 5 is actually a pretty bad season. The most redeeming aspect is Suliet

Did anyone else notice that Naveen’s (Sayid) accent regresses into his own English accent in season 5 and 6? 

I actually hate the entire concept of Jacob and the MIB and what was done with them

Jack really does become Locke in seasons 5 and 6 

Following on from that, I really can’t blame Sawyer for wanting to murder Jack in season 5/6. He saunters back onto the island like he’s King of the Island thinking he’s some hero who’s going to save everyone he left behind whilst also fixing himself without any consideration to the repercussions. He completely destroys the life Sawyer and Juliet have spent 3 damn years building which results in a lot of people dying, including Juliet and he doesn’t even really seem that aware of how badly he’s fucked up 

We were robbed of a Frank Lapidus centric episode and flashbacks. Robbed, I tell you

I love Jack and Kate as a ship, but when they get back to the island in season 5 they’re very OOC (which is a writing problem imo). Kate wanders off and leaves Jack behind all the time and they don’t really stick together which is just not like Jack and Kate at all. No matter what they always stick together 

Sawyer’s character development is amazing. I love him so much 

The Temple is dumb. The concept of it, the people we’re introduced to - everything. It should’ve just been scrapped 

I also don’t understand what the hell happens to Sayid when he’s drowned in The Temple???? It’s so random and inconsistent, it makes no sense

I still love the concept of the Flash Sideways and don’t understand how people can hate on it or claim it doesn’t matter. It’s so important in so many ways 

But I still don’t quite understand why Jack and Juliet have a son in the Flash Sideways? I understand why Jack has a son, because it makes sense for him to work out his ‘daddy issues’, but I don’t understand why Juliet is the mother and what the significance is of that

We really should’ve got more Desmond centric episodes

The Constant is still one of the best episodes of television ever made

The older I get the more I understand and appreciate the religious and theological meanings of the show

I still don’t understand how or why Hurley starts being able to see ghosts. Like that ability just comes out of no where with little to no explanation 

It also gets very confusing trying to distinguish between literal ghosts and when the MIB has taken on a dead person’s form

I understand now that one of the many reasons LOST speaks to me on a personal level, and always has, is that I too have felt lost (both metaphorically and literally) throughout my life and I’m able to connect to every character on that basis regardless of whether I like them or not

The characterisation on this show is still second to none. The way each character has distinct lives that are fully fleshed out by flashbacks and that we get to understand every intimate detail about them - the worst thing they’ve ever done, their happiest moment, their greatest fear, the person they love most - I’m yet to find another show that writes its characters in such a complex and fulfilling way

I will always love the show and stand by it being one of the best shows ever, but as the seasons progress it does decline in quality, especially seasons 5 and 6 

The finale is still perfect though. I cry like a baby every single time - the church, the way Jack cries in his dad’s arms, it’s just too much

#lost #lost meta #mine #my meta #no one will read this but i wanted to just get all my thoughts/feelings down as i was watching #cos everytime i do a rewatch i see different things or my opinions/feelings change about certain characters/ships/plots etc #text post

[becquerelcaps]

Love is Over, part 2

read the first part here: https://becquerelcaps.tumblr.com/post/178973389704/fiction-love-is-over-pt-1

-

Even when I go for interviews for 'normal' jobs, I inevitably end up feeling like a child playing dress-up in his parent's clothes. My sleeves are the wrong length. Ties have never worked on me. And why didn't I shave properly this morning? Perhaps porn was the wrong career for someone so neurotic. But I was already standing outside the girl's house, and the rain wasn't letting up, so I thought I might as well wait for the bus home somewhere dry. I knocked and soon found myself in her living room.

Or perhaps it would be more appropriate to call it an office, since every available surface was covered in loose sheets of paper, consumer electronics and mangled notepads. The curtains were drawn. A sofa, clearly never sat on, was crammed in a corner beneath a large landscape painting of a burning tree at night in a field of wheat. And gliding through this mess was the girl from the café, leaving me standing awkwardly in the doorway to lean against the far wall. We exchanged formalities in a way that I think amused her. This was when I first learned her name. But while it'd make my prose flow better, I can't bring myself to use it online, so I'm just going to refer to her as Love. If nothing else, I think she wouldn't hate that.

"So your hours are flexible," she said. We had been talking for only a few minutes, about experience, confidentiality, logistics and other topics that wouldn't be out of place at an office job. Her attitude was businesslike and uninterested, while I was just trying not to let on how much I wanted this.

"I don't have much of a social life. Give me half an hour to get the bus here and I can go whenever you like."

"I shoot through the week, process and upload on the weekend – that schedule doesn't change for you. Now, about payment. I believe in fair wages, but I'm taking more risk here than you, so you'll get a forty percent cut. That's $150 for an hour of content, give or take."

She must have seen me literally double-take. I could make more in an hour here than in a week of working minimum wage back at the laundromat. No more bulk unseasoned ramen. Shit, maybe I could actually start paying off some of my debts.

"Don't get so excited," she said. "You're cute. But I don't know if I can trust you, let alone use you. We'll shoot a scene, see how you do, then sign you off. Let's get you downstairs to the studio to see how you handle things."

-

The studio turned out to be a compact, oblong cellar with a low ceiling. At one end, a laptop sat in a nest of plugs, wires and video equipment on a desk surrounded by bare concrete walls. The other end had a few modest gestures towards decoration: heavy, dark red fur linings hung over the walls, complemented by ambient purple light radiating from small mood lamps subtly cached in the corners. A startling omission was the lack of a bed of any kind. In its place stood a chair sat in the dead centre of the room, upholstered with black leather. I would later learn that she had bought it from a dentist's office and refurbished it herself, liking the flexibility it gave her, and there was still a system of trays and little medicinal-looking boxes attached to one of the arms.

"Phones off in the studio," said Love, gesturing to the table. Evidently she didn't have hers on her.

"I'll leave it on," I said as I put it down. "I have some stuff on there to look at if I need to get back in the mood."

She responded with an honest-to-God roll of the eyes. "Oh, no. No, no, no. I think you really don't understand what kind of porn this is. My viewers, they don't care if the guy is hard or not."

"...what kind of porn is that, then? Softcore?"

"Sit down," she said, fiddling with a camera, "and I'll show you. If you're a real newcomer to this then I want to catch your first reaction. Virgins get the most buys." A dim green light indicated that I was now on tape.

With a slight jolt of discomfort, I settled into the recliner. It leant back farther than I expected, and when I saw Love coming towards me she towered tall, like an Amazonian giant. But rather than crush me beneath her heel, she reached into a box on one of the trays besides me and pulled out some kind of long metal rod, about half as thick as my little finger.

"You're luckier than you know," she murmured. "I sterilised this for you just this morning." Then, a little louder, for the camera: "In case you haven't figured it out yet, today we're going to... play doctor."

"Is that... something for taking my pulse?" I wasn't sure if she wanted me to speak, but the curiosity was genuine. The rod seemed too formless, too devoid of any notches or insignias or apparent function to look anything other than alien. It wasn't even sharp.

Her lips curled into a smile. Black lipstick, I noticed. Dressing up for the shoot. I felt like a slob. "Not quite," she said. "I've acquired my fanbase for indulging a few very select and particular kinds of content." Held between a finger and a thumb, she angled the rod towards me. "And it so happens that most of them include doing things to people like you." The tip, cold through my T-shirt, pushed against my chest. "Things like inserting a long, smooth piece of stainless steel..." It trailed down my body, coming to rest on a bulge in my jeans. "...into a particular part of the male anatomy."

Every nerve and fibre in my body recoiled at once. This was wrong. This was seriously wrong. I was trapped in a basement with a mad woman who wanted to hurt me, not make porn. "I, I need to really fucking go, like uh, right NOW, so --"

But just before I was about to bolt out of the chair and far away from this strange place, her hand snapped to my wrist. With the tiniest bit of pressure she kept me glued in place as she leant in close, and calmly spoke: "Calm down. I am not going to hurt you."

"Y-yeah that's nice and all," I sputtered, my voice quiet, "but I seriously, seriously cannot do this."

"I understand," she said. "But think about it. You didn't really come here thinking you were going to have sex with me, did you? We met on a kink forum. You can handle this." Her breath was hot against my face. Her voice dark, seductive. "And besides, think of the money. Video like this... you could pull in half a grand, when all's said and done."

Some deep psychological machinery in my brain whirred and forced me to take a gasp of air. I took a long, deep breath, and then another. "Money..."

"Of course, I would never force you to do something you really didn't want to." Her hand, still grasping the rod, was gently gripping my leg as she leaned over me. "But..." She pulled in even closer and whispered directly into my ear. "I know you're hard right now."

Call it adrenaline, if you like. I know I did that night. But the truth was feeling that metal rod tap against my groin sent a shiver through me that felt like a cudgel to the spine. The primal, gasping fear made my blood flow hot and my muscles tense into a raging erection that bulged and sagged inside my boxers. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't pull my eyes from her fingernails, black as night, tapping against the cool, strong steel.

"Show me," she said, loud and clear. "Show the camera how excited you are, and I'll put that thing of yours to use."

My hands trembling, I pulled at my belt until it slid to the floor with a heavy clunk. My boxers soon followed, and as they came down my cock sprang up, glistening at the tip. I had shaved before heading to Love's house, thinking it would matter, and I distinctly remember how the lack of hair made my penis seem so small next to the sheer length of the rod.

"Good boy," she said with a little chuckle. "You can follow instructions." When I wasn't looking, she had slathered the tip of the rod in some kind of sticky, colourless lube. "Now hold it steady it for me."

All I can remember of the sounding rod actually entering my cock is how dry my mouth was - full of cotton, it felt like. But that's a cop-out for a description, so I went back and looked at my copy of the video Love sent me after the fact. As the tip of the rod pushed up against the slit of my glans, my eyes visibly dilated, and when she firmly slid it an inch into my urethra, every part of my body trembled and I fell back against the chair like a doll with cut strings. It was as if I had been killed stone dead. But to Love's credit, she didn't miss a beat. Using one hand to keep the sounding rod stable, she grabbed the cuff of my shirt and gave me a brusque tug that pulled me back into the realm of the living. My head felt fuzzy and waterlogged, like I'd been dredged up from the bottom of the sea. "Guh..."

"Don't you make me call an ambulance just because you can't handle a girl using your dick better than you can," she said with a bemused air. "The paramedics always wreck the place." With that, she slid the rod another inch deeper into my dick. The sensation still felt utterly alien and wrong, but the sight of it disappearing into me was almost hypnotic. A pulse of precum surged up from somewhere deep inside me, welling up around the metal and flowing over my glans as I whimpered something meaningless. There was nothing else. The world had shrunk down to this basement, to me in this chair and Love standing over it. I wanted to squirm, but I was pinned down, staked through the heart. Hot tears were flowing over my cheeks.

"Shh, it's alright. What you're feeling... it's your masculinity leaving you." Love smiled at me like a caring mother. "It's like being castrated. It feels like I'm breaking your cock, and that's all you think you are. But I'm not breaking it. Just your mind." With that, she planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. "You're cute when you're fucked."

As my vision began to fade once more, I dimly felt the bulge of the rod pull up and slide out of my dick, which fell limp against my stomach without its support. My glans felt like it was burning. My entire cock was burning, actually. Or was it just where she had kissed me? No matter, now. I was broken. My mind was broken. Everything was nice and gentle and hot and calm and broken and my cock and her hand and the wet towel of the feeling and heavying gentle hot tired, ohhhh...

-

Everything was soft and only my cock hurt. A dull aching burn, an itch I couldn't scratch. Mmf. Where was my phone? I groped around my bedside table looking for it, only to realise that the table wasn't there and I wasn't in my own bed. Gargling and smacking my lips like I'd woken up from a night of binge-drinking, I realised Love must've moved me up into what looked like a guest room. I was naked under the covers - had she...? - but my clothes were in a neat pile on a chair besides the bed. Ah, and my phone was in one of my jeans' pockets. Considerate. But before I could check it there was a tap at the door and Love entered, bearing a tall glass of water and a bar of chocolate in her hands.

"You're awake, that's good. How are you feeling?"

"I... I have no idea how I'm feeling. Weird."

"That's normal; you're crashing. Eat this, it'll help." She pressed the chocolate into my hands. "You did pretty good for your first scene."

I opened the wrapper as she moved my clothes to the floor and sat down, perching the water on a windowsill. "Thanks, I guess. It all happened so quickly."

"You think? I got a good half hour of footage from that."

Jesus. The experience was already fluttering out of my mind like a dream. If it wasn't for the ache between my legs, I would have almost thought it didn't happen. "Will my... you know, my cock, will it be alright? It's hurting."

"Like I said, you're a virgin. It always hurts the first time. C'mon, let's get you downstairs if you're feeling alright."

A few minutes later I was fully dressed and standing in Love's living room once more. Though only a few hours had passed, everything looked and felt different. The room seemed less chaotic and more freeform, unrestrained. Or maybe it was something within me. The two of us chatted for a little while about business technicalities that are boring to recount - I had to sign a form permitting her to use the video of me - but the upshot was that I was now a formal employee of Love's media company. The only one, as it happened. It seemed that most applicants didn't get this far. I opted to have my portion of the revenue go directly to my bank account via standing order, and thinking that was everything, headed for the door. But something stopped me at the last moment.

"You mentioned something, just before I passed out. That putting that thing inside me was like getting castrated."

"Was I wrong?"

"No, it described it perfectly. How many guys have you done this to before?"

"None. ...well, that's not the full story." For the first time she actually looked somewhat bashful. "I don't usually tell people this so quickly, but you seem pretty trustworthy. I've done it to myself. I'm trans."

"Oh! Like..."

"Transgender. I've got a dick, in other words. Not a problem, I hope."

I paused for a moment, a little surprised, then grinned. "Shit, it makes me feel better about you putting that thing in me. You know how it feels too."

Love just rolled her eyes, smiled sardonically and wished me a pleasant night. "Go on, get. I've got editing to do."

As I stepped out from her house, I was bathed in the deep red light of a glorious evening. I'd spent more time with her than I'd expected to, and I could tell that my thoughts would be swimming with images of what'd happened here for the rest of the night. As I made my way to the busstop, I found myself wondering how long it might be till she called me back for another shoot. The thought of going through it all again still made me a little weak at the knees, but something about her presence brought it back down to reality, made it manageable. I just hoped that in the meantime, it wouldn't burn too much when I went to piss.

#becquerel #fiction #love is over

[books-and-cookies]

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN (PART 2/?)

Part 1

Sorcerer’s Stone  Chamber of Secrets

1. Listen, I know it’s been a hot minute since I last made one of these posts (okay, fine, it’s been like 4 months, stop judGING ME KAREN), but in my defense… uh…. I’m a lazy fuck?

2. But fear not, I am BACK (like the Backstreet Boys *cries in ‘00s pop*) and determined to keep going, until the sun implodes and we all die 3. So cheerful I am

4. I’m running on 4 hours of sleep and a coffee IV, don’t judge me 5. OKAY BACK TO BUSINESS, we last left Harry narrowly avoiding life in prison, because the Ministry of Magic is incapable of catching 1 (one) dangerous convict 6. Like, that is some tier 1 incompetence, my dudes 7. “It took Harry several days to get used to his strange new freedom” – me, every time I get more than a couple of days off work 8. You mean I don’t have to sit for 8+ hours in an office, pretending I don’t hate it with every fibre of my being and the demon’s that is possessing me? REALLY? What a Concept™ 9. “Never before had he been able to get up whenever he wanted or eat whatever he fancied” – friendly reminder that Harry’s life outside school is depressing as fuck, holy baby jesus, poor kid 10. “Once Harry had refilled his money bag with gold Galleons, silver Sickles, and bronze Knuts from his vault at Gringotts, he had to exercise a lot of self-control not to spend the whole lot at once. He had to keep reminding himself that he had five years to go at Hogwarts, and how it would feel to ask the Dursleys for money for spellbooks” – this tiny child is 13, I can’t exercise this much self control at 30 years old lol. Like, just mention the words “book sale” and my money flies from me faster than the cars in need for speed

11. “Each individually selected birch twig in the broomtail has been honed to aerodynamic perfection” – who even has the time for that, there are shows to be watched, food to be eaten, time to be wasted 12. Literally no one is surprised I am not a functional, well adjusted adult. Me in a nutshell, about my entire life:

13. “he had never lost a Quidditch match on his Nimbus Two Thousand, and what was the point in emptying his Gringotts vault for the Firebolt, when he had a very good broom already?” – Harry, my boy, where is this self control coming from?? Meanwhile, I know several people with 10 separate HP collected editions and plans to buy more because why have only one set, when you can have them ALL. 14. “we bought two hundred copies of the Invisible Book of Invisibility — cost a fortune, and we never found them” – whenever you want to prove that wizards are fucking useless, show people this sentence 15. “What are you doing Muggle Studies for?” said Ron, rolling his eyes at Harry. “You’re Muggle-born! Your mum and dad are Muggles! You already know all about Muggles!” – Ron legitimately has a point, pls don’t fight me on this 16. “Scabbers was looking thinner than usual, and there was a definite droop to his whiskers.” – Peter Scabbers knows doOM IS COMING 17. “You bought that monster?” said Ron, his mouth hanging open.       “He’s gorgeous, isn’t he?” said Hermione, glowing” – dog people vs cat people 18. “Poor Crookshanks, that witch said he’d been in there for ages; no one wanted him” – honestly, props to Hermione for picking Crookshanks, all animals DESERVE LOVE 19.   “They still haven’t caught him, then?” he asked. “No,” said Mr. Weasley, looking extremely grave. “They’ve pulled us all off our regular jobs at the Ministry to try and find him, but no luck so far.” – no but seriously, how difficult it is to catch a human person. You have MAGIC FFS. USE IT. CHRIST.

20.   “Black’s not going to be caught by a thirteen-year-old wizard.” – Mr. Weasley has obviously never met one Harry James Potter, one Hermione Jean Granger and one Ronald Billius Weasley 21.   “Harry’s got a right to know. I’ve tried to tell Fudge, but he insists on treating Harry like a child. He’s thirteen years old and —” – no offence to Mr. Weasley, but holy gods, 13 years old is a literal baby. This is like any typical YA girl (like, the old days of YA), who is like “I’M 16 I’M AN ADULT I GET TO DO WHAT I WANT” and I’m like “sit yo ass down and listen to your parents, you insolent CHILD” 22. So chance-y that Harry just HAPPENED to hear all that information on Sirius and his “intentions” and given us so much exposition lolololol 23. I love Rowling’s story-telling, but sometimes she relies a lot (and by a lot I mean too much) on deus-ex-machina (idk if this is the correct term for this writing device; if it’s not i’m human and I make mistakes feel free to correct me) 24. “No, all in all, the thing that bothered Harry most was the fact that his chances of visiting Hogsmeade now looked like zero” – so, there’s a supposedly mass murderer after you, but your only worry is that you can’t go on field trip with your friends. YOLOOOOOOO 25. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: the world doesn’t fucking deserve Harry Potter BLESS HIS SOUL 26. “I’m not trying to be a hero, but seriously, Sirius Black can’t be worse than Voldemort, right?” – I mean, the boy has a POINT

27. “Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me?” said Harry blankly – Harry, love, we all know you go looking for dangerous and illegal shit to do, you can stop pretending 28. “This had only one occupant, a man sitting fast asleep next to the window.” – squealy as fuck voice HIIIIIII REMUS HIIIIIIIIIIII HIIIIIIIIII 29. “I don’t go looking for trouble,” said Harry, nettled. “Trouble usually finds me.” 

30. “I’m not going to take any crap from Malfoy this year,” he said angrily. “I mean it. If he makes one more crack about my family, I’m going to get hold of his head and —” – like, I’m front and center for that GO OFF RONALD 31. “The train rattled, the rain hammered, the wind roared, but still, Professor Lupin slept – okay but think about this” – no but really, when was the last time Lupin actually slept soundly and safe? I know Voldemort is technically still dead, but werevolves still face prejudice in the wizard community, so this legit just occurred to me, that this nap on the train is maybe the first time in a long time when he’s able to just rest

32. “We can’t be there yet,” said Hermione, checking her watch. “So why’re we stopping?” – little ol’ me – WTF WHAT IS GOING ON 33. “There was a hand protruding from the cloak and it was glistening, grayish, slimy-looking, and scabbed, like something dead that had decayed in water. . .”  – NICE, something new to haunt my nightmares thaNKS JK 34. “And then, from far away, he heard screaming, terrible, terrified, pleading screams.” – I remembered that there was a theory that this was actually Voldemort’s worst memory and because Harry was a Horcrux, he experienced it and I have to just give a shout out to this fandom, because jesus christ guys, you fucking DELIVER 35. “What happened? Where’s that — that thing? Who screamed?”  “No one screamed,” said Ron, more nervously still – when you’re the only one in your group to hear that one tiny detail for your assignment in school and no one believes you 36. “I haven’t poisoned that chocolate, you know. . . .” Harry took a bite and to his great surprise felt warmth spread suddenly to the tips of his fingers and toes.” – this is actual proof that chocolate is the best food in this entire world thank you good bye

37. “There’s no need to look so worried — I just want a word in my office”- when you’ve fucked up so many times, you automatically assume you did something in your sleep and will quite possibly be expelled/murdered 38. “Oh,” said Hermione softly, “we’ve missed the Sorting!” – I’m a firm believer that Rowling didn’t want to write a new Sorting Song every book, so they keep conveniently missing the Sorting Ceremony 39. “You couldn’t help trusting Albus Dumbledore” – yes well, we all mistakes in life 40. “It is not in the nature of a dementor to understand pleading or excuses” – like, why not plainly tell them “my dudes don’t fuck with these creatures they will LITERALLY SUCK OUT YOUR SOUL” 41. “It was beyond anger: It was loathing. Harry knew that expression only too well; it was the look Snape wore every time he set eyes on Harry.” – yes yes, but “always” and all that shit. Y’all fuck off with that crap. 42. Again, friendly reminder that Snape would 100% have looked differently at Harry if he were a girl kthxbyeeeeeee

43. “Hagrid, who was ruby-red in the face and staring down at his enormous hands, his wide grin hidden in the tangle of his black beard”; “Hagrid was wiping his eyes on the tablecloth” – BLESS HIS HEART I CRY. Like, you have this gentle giant, who has been disregarded his whole life and who finally gets a chance to prove himself, thanks to a threesome of stubborn, capable kids. Also, honestly, if Dumbledore did one thing right, it was being kind to Hagrid. Sure, it still plays into him collecting people (because let’s face it, he did just that), but whatever HAGRID IS HAPPY NOTHING ELSE MATTERS, NOT EVEN DUMBLEWHORE 44. “They reached their familiar, circular dormitory with its five four-poster beds, and Harry, looking around, felt he was home at last” – I know Rowling did some shady shit lately and personally, I’m not considering anything after the books canon (not even Pottermore, ngl), but these books will always mean something to me and to a whole generation. And if you ask me, this should be the true meaning of “always”. Hogwarts is home. ALWAYS. 45.   Thank you for attending my TED talk.

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#harry potter #hp #potterworld #booklr #J.K. Rowling #things i have learned #mine