#fuck being a demon

[coffeecatcraze]

It is not lost on me that Charlie and Vaggie were initially not doing great against Adam and Lute...and then proved Carmilla was so fucking right.

Vaggie is absolutely FUCKED here. She's been in this position before, with Lute looming over her spitting vitriolic judgment, Vaggie's blood on the ground. Back then, she couldn't stop Lute from taking away her wings, her eye, her home, and her purpose. But now? She has more than that; she has love, because she has Charlie.

When Lute threatens Charlie, everything changes. Vaggie fucks her up immediately...and shows "mercy" knowing that being forced to live with part of herself gone (her arm was CRUSHED, no way was she getting it back), the shame of defeat, and the knowledge that someone she's been looking down on so completely is responsible for it all is a fate MUCH worse than death for Lute.

And Charlie? Charlie's insanely powerful but has no clue how to use her power to its full potential because she's never had a reason or desire to fight until now. Even when she's being strangled, when she's pissed-off and vengeful, she can't really tap into that power. But then Adam comes at her dad and is about to catch him off-guard.

He's about to hurt—possibly kill—her dad, who she's finally building a good relationship with; her dad, who just showed up to protect her despite the risk of politically turning this battle from an act of defiance by a willful princess to an act of full-on rebellion by the King of Hell himself. She reacts on instinct to protect her father and stops a hit that destroyed Alastor's shield. And she does it effortlessly.

Carmilla was right. For these ladies, at least, the need to protect someone they love, no matter what kind of love it is, is exactly what rallies them to come at enemies who were just kicking their asses and absolutely dominate.

#hazbin hotel #vaggie #charlie morningstar #chaggie #protective women being protective #the way they each always IMMEDIATELY reacted upon realizing the other was in danger in that battle was just <3 #and lucifer and charlie's father-daughter bond?? love it #also reminds me of when charlie was about to wreck val for his abuse of angel #and when vaggie was ready to try and impale the fucking radio demon to protect charlie #and how charlie forgot anything else existed on the battlefield whenever she saw vaggie in danger

[tagerrkix]

Eden was their ✨disney princess era✨

#it's canon #source: it was revealed to me in a dream #aziraphale being good with reptiles was all part of the ineffable plan #crowley is having the time of his life here #my only regret is that I forgot to include a baby aardvark #but I put ducklings there instead #aardvarks will have to wait #btw the snake aziraphale is holding is my pet snake that died in 2020 #my poor precious baby she was such a sweetheart #she liked to knock the thermometer off the glass and hide it #I was supposed to draw like an ordinary garter snake there buuut #it's MY silly doodle and I get to do what the heck I want with it 👁️👁️ #lmao crowley's brain is really malfunctioning here #guys he's a demon the creature of darkness foul fiend devil serpent #guys he can't get up the lamb is sleeping #somebody save him #there are vicious animals #and she's exp- #*JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW AND FLIES AWAY* #hey where the fuck is the gecko going #aziraphale #good omens fanart #crowley #aziracrow #good omens #ineffable husbands

[thefirstpaleontologist]

Anatomy of Alastors demonic forms

#Alastor #hazbin hotel #we know he got shot in the head by a hunter and that’s how he died #and that that’s prob tied to why he’s a deer demon #and radio dial eyes is obv because of his ties to being a radio host in life and now in death #but do we know anything about the stitches and broken neck #in a lot of scenes we see him twist his neck violently #and in his demons forms it’s always crooked #did his neck get snapped during or after he was shot? #I guarantee you that if we ever get a scene where Alston’s neck is bare it will have a fucked up scar or something #I’ve heard theories that the stitches on his mouth could be tied to his constant smile #either that his smile is such an important feature that it became permanent in death #or that whoever he made a deal with made it so he’s not able to actually talk about it #could be both even because in some scenes there’s only stitches in the corner of his mouth and in the deal scene they’re all the way across #personally the stitches in combo with the deer form and the fact he was killed by a hunter makes my mind go to taxidermy #it kind of looks like he was stuffed and stitched up #I’ve also seen people compare his stiches to those voodoo dolls #but I dont know enough about them to make any kind of comparison

[luck-of-the-drawings]

THIS THING IS SCUUUFFED AS HELL & ITS ALSO THE BEST THING I HAVE ANIMATED THUS FAR. IM SO IN LOVE WITH EMIZEL. JUST WISH I GAVE HIM MORE STUPID TATTOOS. NEXT TIME THO. NEXT TIME. I ALSO LOVE VEX&VIV SOOOO MUCH. charlies flavor of Deranged is my FAVORITE!!

#cw gore #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #ACTULY FINISHED THIS A WHILE AGO. kept going back n forth between trying to work on it more or call it done #in the end i chose DONE!! i worked on this for a full day n a half. NO idea what possesed me but it is NOT happenin again anytime soon #i shall do better NEXT TIME!! in the meantime tho OH MY GOOOOOD WHO WANTS TO SCREAM ABT THE SUCKENING WITH ME #THE FUCKINNN THE FUCKIN THING WITH VEX N VIV BEING THE SHADOW LEADERS OF THE FANGS/DEMONS #OH MMYY GOOOODDD THATS THEIR LIL MEAT GENERATOR... THTS SO FUCKED UP AND COOL UUUGHHH I LOVE THEM... #THEIR FLAVORE IS SO WONDERFUL. I LOOOVE HOW SILLY THEY ARE. MAKING PUNS WHILE PULLIN A SCREAMING VICTIM APART #vex n his lil fashiony art workshop and viv n her sterile n clean doctors office #i bet she doesnt even HAVE a medical liscense. it would be funny if vex did tho. could u imagine #they main MEDIC in tf2 together. viv is the battlemedic while vex only pocket medics for her. COULD U IMAGINE #guh i could go on abt these two forever n ever n ever i LOVE THEMM i gotta draw em more.... #OH ALSO before i run outa room. i should say. i took inspiration from a tf2 animation called POOTIS ENGAGED #the animator. Ceno0. uses black bars in the action sequences in SUCH A COOL WAYYY everytime i watch that video i feel inspired #oneday ill make more complex fight scenes... one day.... #in the meantime UGHHH I LOVE THE SUCKENING SO MUUUCH CAN I JUST FUCKIN SAAAYY THAT I THINK EMIZEL IS A SMART COOKIE!! #THESE PPL FUCKING FEAR HIM NOW!!! 'SHAMIA SHAMI' IS NOW THEIR MORTAL ENEMY!! POWERFUL ILLUSIONIST. CANT DIE. #THAT PART AT THE END THERE WHERE HE FUCKIN. KILLS HIMSELF INFRONTA THEM. THATS SO AWESOME. THATS SO METAL. AND THEN HE COMES BACK!! #I WATCHED EP 7 ASWELL BUT I WONT SPOIL IT HERE. BUT OMYGOD. EMIZEL IS SO COOL AND CAPABLE N SMART N FUNNY N UGHHHHHH I LOVE HIMMMMM #OKAY THATS MY RAMBLE FOR THE DAY THANKYOU FOR READING. I READ ALL TAGS SO YOU SHOULD RAMBLE TOO. IF YOU WANT. IF YOU CAN.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

:-P

#bruce being a fucking demon and dick being a ball of sunshine #i fucked these up on the colors. sometimes i forget i csn make things bright and obnoxious and not realistic #batman #dc #bruce wayne #richard grayson #robin #tw blood #the pose is partly based on one of the covers. idk which #fuck it. ill post this today lol

[yourdoorisunlocked]

What A Dish, What A Doll! - Part 4

🎙️【 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑰 | 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑰𝑰 | 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑰𝑰𝑰 | 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑰𝑽 | 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑽 | 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑽𝑰 】🎙️

𝐀/𝐍: I am SO GLAD that I got this out sooner- istg this was going to be SO MUCH LONGER but after extensive writing and editing, I finally found a flow that I vibe with, and I'm really excited for you all to read this one.

Happy reading :)

. . .

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒,𝟏𝟕𝟖 𝐍𝐨 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫/𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝑯𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒍𝒚 𝑫𝒆𝒗𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝑻𝒐 𝒀𝒐𝒖 | 𝑶𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒂 𝑵𝒆𝒘𝒕𝒐𝒏 𝑱𝒐𝒉𝒏

. . .

The weeks following your rendezvous at the diner passed by in a flurry, leaving you in a delighted tizzy as you and Alastor grew ever closer to one another. You couldn’t even count on both hands how many times he had spontaneously swept you off of your feet and pulled you into whatever shenanigans the cheeky radio star had in store. 

It was exhausting, but being with him was exhilarating all the same. 

And you could already tell you were in for quite the afternoon as he jaunted out of the recording booth, enthusiasm rolling off of him in waves. 

“Well, hello to you too, Al’,” you smiled and took off your headphones as Alastor straightened his bowtie with a haughty smirk, and you rolled your eyes. That man was ever the cocky one whenever you paid him a visit to his recording booth, as you never failed to shower him with compliments and applause at his performance. 

And seeing your awestruck face as you leaned towards the glass always made him more inclined to put on a show, just for you. 

“You were amazing out there, as always, of course,” Alastor chuckled and waved a hand dramatically in the air as if you’d said something completely preposterous. Praising Alastor was practically treason for you; the man simply could not take a compliment. 

“Oh, how you flatter me! I’m just doing my job, darling,” even oblivious little you could see that he was preening with pride, though your captivated stare trained on none other than him was all the praise Alastor would ever need. 

“That was great, Al’! One of your best performances, if I do say so, myself!” Your supervisor beamed with his hands on his hips, clearly as excited as Alastor, though for entirely different reasons. 

The radio host was still reeling with joy from the fiery sensation of your bewitched gaze adoringly trained on him, tracing his soft, handsome features with yearning eyes. 

He stole every glance at you throughout the broadcast that he could subtly manage; how your lips parted softly whenever Alastor spoke so boldly with his hands, how animated he seemed in the recording booth.

He noticed your quiet, melodic laughter that he practically breathed, the smile that he one dreamed of kissing, laying his lips against your warmth like he had captured sunlight itself between his teeth- 

“I think you should be here during recordings more often,” the young, spiffing producer muttered as he leaned over to you, leaving you in bashful laughter. Alastor narrowed his eyes slightly at the proximity, and he held no hesitation to step between you two and snake an arm around your shoulder. 

“Well, my dear, I believe this week’s recent success calls for a celebration! Hugo, I’m afraid I’ll have to cut this short. I’ve planned an afternoon for me and the lady, here,” his usual smile returned, and you could feel Alastor relax as his hand fell down your forearm, grasping it with a firm yet comfortable grip. 

Hugo raised a knowing eyebrow, his eyes switching between you two as he shrugged his shoulders. “I see how it is. Givin’ ol’ Hugo the boot, huh?” He opened the door for Alastor, taking a slight bow as the radio host guided you outside one of the studio’s many broadcasting rooms. 

“I get it. I’ll stay out of your way, Al’. Just treat her right, ya’ hear?” Hugo nudged Alastor’s arm, and you could feel your friend stiffen as his hand clenched your arm tighter than before, though he laughed the discomfort off with an even wider grin. But a small glimpse of his gums told you all you needed to know. 

“Oh, no, no, no! We’re nothing like that!” You shook your head vigorously as you subtly put yourself between him and your supervisor. “He’s just so good to me, you know? Such a good friend to have, especially with that slasher running around,” you shuddered for emphasis. 

Hugo raised a teasing eyebrow. “Oh, really? Heh, could’ve fooled me.” Striking teal eyes flickered to said radio host, whose smile had stiffened significantly to the point of looking almost painful. You shot down the very idea that you two could ever be in a relationship, though he did appreciate your interception from the unwanted physical contact. 

But did you truly resent the idea of being with him that much? 

“He’s just so kind, and he cooks like a real professional, too!” You practically sang Alastor’s praises as Hugo strode beside you two with his arms crossed while you walked through the studio, attempting a hasty getaway out the door and whisked away to be with each other in peace. 

“That so?” Hugo was gauging Alastor’s every reaction to your words, clearly not buying the fact that you two weren’t together, or at the very least, not interested in one another. 

An unrequited love, perhaps? But this broad’d off her rocker not to fall for a guy like him. 

You nodded vigorously at your supervisor as you walked with Alastor toward the exit. “A real sweet talker, too. Y’know, Al’, you could teach Hugo here a thing or two,” when your hand wrapped around his and squeezed, and all the built-up tension was suddenly released from his form. 

Alastor’s smile softened into something a bit more genuine as he looked down at you. 

“Aren’t you just darling? Almost makes me want to spoil my little surprise for you,” he tapped your nose with a wide grin, reveling in how you blinked in surprise before blushing and turning your head away. 

“Oh, you’ll be the one getting a surprise if you don’t stop with your nonsense...” You grumbled before waving to Hugo on your way out of the studio. “Have a good day, Hugo!”  

Once you crossed the threshold, the strawberry-blonde waved you off with a knowing smirk and a raised eyebrow as Alastor glanced back at him. He could already see the gears turning in the young producer’s head.  

Well, God save him if he got any ideas and started meddling where he wasn’t supposed to, like a certain acquaintance of his... 

Once you arrived in the parking lot, you pulled away from Alastor’s side so that you could enter the passenger seat of his car. The winter chill that had settled in the seats left you shivering, and you turned over to Alastor with a shudder and a wobbly smile. 

“Tough weather, huh? God, what I’d give for a hot chocolate...” 

What kind of man could he call himself if he left his darling trembling like a leaf in the wind, left to the unforgiving elements? 

Without any kind of hesitation, Alastor slipped off his jacket and lent it to you, despite your insistent protests. He had considered you before himself too much, and you really weren’t that cold, the car would heat up soon, and- 

“Take it, my dear. I can’t have you freezing before you meet my dear friend, after all,” Alastor carefully leaned over, his glasses slipping towards the edge of his pointed nose as he laid the jacket upon you. 

His carnivorous, half-lidded gaze devoured an eyeful of you as he pretended to be meticulously positioning the jacket on you, his fingers ghosting each curve of your waist, the give of your belly, tracing along the chub of your hips, your love handles. The lustful thoughts that seeped in with Alastor’s touch nearly broke his resolve to restrain himself, as his yearning gaze lingered around your womb. 

Alastor quickly sat back into his seat and buckled his own seatbelt before inserting his car keys into the hole, gripping them with whitening knuckles. 

“Thanks for the jacket. I was freezing over here,” you sighed and shivered in your seat. 

“Don’t mention it, darling,” the words smoothly fell off of his lips, as if he wasn’t mentally bashing himself for touching you like that, though each advance he held himself back from went unnoticed by you as you relaxed into the leather-clad car seat. 

The aroma of bittersweet pine and cinnamon overwhelmed your senses, and Alastor’s scent made you relax considerably as you snuggled into the jacket. 

You had been running around, taking orders and checking things off your task list all morning, only looking forward to Alastor’s broadcast the most that day. His soothing voice nearly lulled you to sleep, but you forced yourself awake, out of respect. 

The last tender words he spoke to you as you slept the car ride away, snoozing peacefully even as it came to a full stop in front of Alastor’s destination. 

You looked so peaceful, so heart-wrenchingly vulnerable tucked into his jacket, away from the prying eyes of the world and within his arms. 

How he wished your paths had crossed before everything that had happened, before Alastor’s infamously heinous deeds as the New Orleans Slasher. 

And how he wished his mother could’ve met you. 

Alastor admired your dozing form for a few more minutes, before starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot and driving away into the bleak gray mist that had fallen over the city. 

. . . 

“We’re here, darling.” Like a switch, his voice instantly pulled you from your nap, and you groaned and stretched with a yawn. 

“Come along now. You don't want me to be late for my meeting, do you?” Alastor’s voice, normally at the highest volume possible, had fallen into a quiet, tender whisper as he gently knocked on the window, rousing you awake. 

“Oh, Alastor,” you mumbled sleepily, “Are we here already?” You rubbed your drooping eyes as he chuckled and slowly pulled you out of the vehicle. 

“Why, yes, we are darling. And I want you to be fully awake for when you meet my friend, now, so chop-chop!” He carefully situated his jacket onto your shoulders, and you both plundered through the snowy streets towards the sidewalks, where various shops and stores sat snug and warm and sheltering their inhabitants from the biting cold that nipped at your nose and pinched your cheeks with frostbite. 

Alastor steadied you upon the ice with careful hands snaked around your waist, though all it did was make you nearly slip from the surprise contact. He was getting particularly touchy, lately. Not that you were complaining. 

And who were you to complain of the fine, slender fingers, twisting and resting upon you, sharing their warmth and affection, when you clearly craved Alastor’s touch so? When your yearning gazes became more and more frequent with each passing day. 

You shook your head of such impish thoughts as you and Alastor strode closer to the row of quaint stores and shops.

“Ah, yes. This is the place,” you glanced from the nearly identical red brick buildings to the particular one that Alastor had stopped at.

A delicate, thin line of cursive was masterfully inscribed upon a large hanging sign, reading, “𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓲𝓮'𝓼 𝓑𝓸𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓺𝓾𝓮,” in a muted cerise pink. 

Your eyes scanned the fine chiffon-paned windows with wide eyes. Intricate designs lined with frills and lace stood proudly behind the glass, looking to be of Victorian descent, a more dignified, esteemed time of elegance. 

The high frilled collars and waist-choking corsets made you inwardly cringe as you and Alastor walked up the steps, and your uncertainty quickly faded when you stepped inside the boutique.  

It looked like a classical, cozy little parlor ripped straight out of a storybook, with a large grandfather clock in the corner and a row of bookshelves standing grandly beside a luxurious sofa chair, covered in dust and peeling slightly in some places, hinting at the age of the relic. 

The small ding of a bell rang once the door opened, and it was soon accompanied by a pair of quick footsteps heading down the hallway as a woman called out from behind the hardwood archway that seemed inappropriate for a clothing store. At least, that was what you had assumed it to be in the first place. 

“I’ll be right there! Don’t you move an inch, now!” The voice carried a welcoming lilt, like an old friend that you had gotten into trouble with more than several times in primary school. 

You peeked out from the small waiting area you had stepped into and were blessed with the sight of rows and rows of opulent, elegant dresses flooded the store that you were sure would have your wallet weeping should you dare to try paying for any of them. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting like that, I was just busy with another customer. Now, what can I do for you?”

You blinked in surprise, entirely not expecting the sight of the stately lady before you. Her face was kind, perhaps a bit playful, despite her imposing stature and air of sophisticated elegance she carried. 

She was the spitting image of each design that she precariously crafted, like a well-knowing yet mischievous auntie that you could sit down and chat over a cup of tea with for hours. 

“Uh, well,” you looked to Alastor, but he simply smiled down at you, being of absolutely no help whatsoever. “Well, he said that we were just here to meet a friend, so you should ask him,” narrowing your eyes at the cheeky radio host, who was probably getting a kick out of your discomfort, you pointed up at Alastor. 

The owner – presumably Rosie – blinked, her already ghost-like complexion somehow turning even paler as she laid eyes on Alastor, who stood behind you with a smile full of teeth. 

“Oh, Alastor! Is that really you?” You reeled back in surprise as Rosie took him by the shoulders and spun around a few times with a wide, somehow shark-like beam. 

“Oh, it has been ages since I’ve seen you that I nearly didn’t recognize you! Just where have you been!?” Rosie gushed over him as she placed a hand to her heart, flashing a smile full of teeth to the radio host.  

You looked between them with a bewildered expression. You thought Alastor only allowed you to touch him like that, and so abruptly, too... 

“Ah, well, I’m glad that my presence was missed, my dear Rosie,” you raised an eyebrow. My dear? “After all, your fittings are some of the best in New Orleans!” 

“Aw, ever the flatterer, aren’t you?”

The pair seemed to completely ignore you in the moment, lost in their own reunion until Rosie placed her hands on her hips with a raised eyebrow and a mischievous glint in her pitch-black gaze.  

“And it seems like this pretty little flower’s kept you from my parlor for quite some time! Oh, Al', you just keep bringing so many beautiful young women to my doorstep!” 

Now that last part really made you take pause. There were other women before you? You slightly deflated at that thought, though you didn’t know what you expected from someone with Alastor’s reputation and overall appeal.  

But the burn in your heart and the slight sting in your eyes betrayed your hurt at the fact that you weren’t anything special to the radio host you had become so taken with.  

“But this one might just be the most delectable of all!” Before you could question her strange choice of words, Rosie urgently began pushing you towards the back of the store, past racks of gorgeous dresses and in front of the front counter. 

She slipped behind the hardwood desk covered in shiny knickknacks, assorted jewelry – many in the shape of small hearts for the romantic season – and even little chocolate candies covered in shiny, bright pink and red wrapping. 

Alastor followed closely behind you two with his arms behind his back. 

“How about some candy? It is that time of year, after all! All that romance in the air, the taste of young love on every girl’s tongue! A pretty thing like you must’ve caught the eye of someone special.” She grinned widely down at you, and you happily reached for a piece. “Sure, I'll take one.” 

“And who might that be for, my dear?” You jumped and glanced up at Alastor, whose eyes watched your face carefully. His tone bit at the air with a malice you hadn’t heard since the incident at the diner. Rosie leaned against the counter, clearly drinking up every bit of tension.  

“That’s none of your business, now, is it?” Taking a chocolate heart, you thanked Rosie with a grateful smile, completely ignoring how Alastor’s eye twitched and he clung closer to your side. His smile stretched wider across his face, the tips of his lips twitching slightly as you gave him a brief side-glance. 

Such a strange man... 

“So, are you going to introduce us?” Rosie waved to you with a hand on her hip. 

“Why, how rude of me!” Alastor pulled you even closer to himself with a hand slung around your shoulder. “This here is my lovely little assistant, and she’s been staying with me for the past couple of weeks! I’ll tell you, she’s quite the helper around the studio! One could only dream to find someone as useful!” Alastor’s scent overwhelmed you as he hugged you close, and when you awkwardly tried to pull away from Alastor’s grasp, he gripped you tighter to himself. 

Useful? Was that all you were to him? 

"Assistant? I don't remember-" A prompt squeeze of your shoulder from Alastor kept you quiet, and you glared up at him.

“Oh, my! Sounds like you’re quite popular!” It was then that you noticed the slight Boston accent that laced Rosie’s words.  

“You know what? The ladies that join here for afternoon tea would just adore you! And they’ve just arrived, too! Oh, Alastor, won’t you let the Doll say hi?” Rosie turned to him with a pleading expression, though Alastor knew that the store owner never waited for permission to do just about anything. 

Normally, he’d say yes, but you weren’t fresh meat on the chopping block, nor were you a puppet for Alastor’s entertainment, not anymore at least. 

And those women would eat you alive. 

“I’m afraid not, my dear. She is not much for such fraternization," he emphasized with a hint of irritation. Rosie deflated with a pout but didn’t push upon the matter. Some of Al’s toys were off-limits, she supposed. 

Oh, well. He never was very good at sharing. 

A twinge of irritation pricked at the back of your mind. Why didn’t Alastor ask you if you wanted to meet her friends? You would’ve jumped at the chance to meet someone new, but now, with the finality Alastor's tone carried, it seemed such a thing was out of the question. 

It irked you that he thought he had any say upon your friendships outside of himself, the strange, oddly possessive man that he was. 

But what you despised even more was how easily you complied with his wishes. 

“Oh, well, all right then. Perhaps some other time,” Rosie’s smile quickly returned to her face as she straightened her shoulders, shaking off the disappointment from seconds ago. “So, what business can I help you two with?” She folded her hands upon the front desk’s surface with half-lidded eyes, taking upon an air of professionalism.

“Oh, just a private matter I’ve long awaited to tend to, nothing to concern the Doll about. Shall we speak in the parlor?” You narrowed your eyes at Alastor, before shrugging nonchalantly and promptly left his side to observe the rest of the store, turning to a corner with shiny bobbles and trinkets that had caught your eye.  

Alastor swiveled to you, his dark eyebrows raised in surprise, and Rosie chuckled at his bewilderment.  

“Don’t mind me, just minding my own business,” you turned your back on the pair completely, and Alastor had half a mind to drag you back to the front desk with a tighter grip on your middle than ever before. 

“Shall we, then?” Amusement danced in the store owner’s pitch-black eyes as Alastor stiffly nodded with a twitching smile.

The room in which the pair held their usual meetings in was quite similar to the waiting room in which you and Alastor had arrived in, though this one was much more decorated and clearly tailored to Rosie’s personal style, as it was furnished with antiques and furniture most likely preserved from the Victorian era of England. 

A small sofa chair sat across from a matching striped loveseat, the fabric of both furnishings colored a cerise pink and decorated with small, dainty intricacies carved into the dark wood of the legs. Bookshelves lined nearly every wall save for the entrance and a small window hanging above a writing desk.  

Lilting classical music poured from the well-kept gramophone situated beside a bookshelf, just behind the loveseat. 

Alastor made himself comfortable on the sofa chair across from the loveseat where Rosie was seated, pouring herself a cup of tea and him a glass of whiskey from a bottle beside the tea set. 

“So, what troubling matters have graced me with your visit, Alastor?” She raised the cup to her maroon-tinted lips and took a small sip, taking small note of how his left hand rose to his bowtie to straighten it, and his fingers tapped frantically against the arm of the chair.

“I needed to ask you for some advice,” he fiddled with his collar for a moment more, his smile widening. This was going to be an awkward conversation, and Rosie surely wouldn’t make it any easier for him, but this certainly wasn’t the lowest level he would stoop to in order to get what he wanted. 

Besides, Alastor was well aware that Rosie was something of an expert within the aspect of the heart. If she was the one to go to, he’d make the sacrifice of a slight blow to his pride from the teasing. 

“It is no secret that your areas of expertise are outside of my specialties,” he continued, and almost immediately, Rosie perked up with a wide grin, though the confusion that followed sprouted many questions. Why in the world would someone like him want advice on something like that? 

“Oh, you know I pride myself upon my specialty upon the matters of the heart!” She fluttered her sharp-nailed fingers at him, intrigue piqued and her inner curiosity buzzing. Could it be...? 

“I must say, I’m surprised you’ve taken an interest in such matters. Any particular reason for this sudden change of heart?” Rosie leaned against the chair, waiting for him to answer with a soft smirk. Alastor’s eyebrow twitched. She was going to make him say it. 

“Well, there happens to be an investment of mine that has caught more than my eye, recently.” His attempts to be vague fell completely flat when Rosie caught his eyes glancing towards the door behind him. 

“And does that ‘investment’ just so happen to be standing outside the door?”

“Ah, ever unrelenting with your teasing, I see,” his voice bit with sarcasm, and he put to use the glass of whiskey that Rosie had provided him with, taking a drink and composing himself.

“Oh, come on, Al’. I’ve seen that look before." Rosie sighed dramatically, looking him up and down with knowing eyes. "You’re in love with her. And you have no idea how to go about it.” 

A tender gaze focused upon her oldest friend as his hands tightened around the glass of whiskey. Alastor clearly wasn’t used to being prodded like this. And though normally Rosie would respect his boundaries, love called for a more... personal approach. 

“I’ll help you, but I want to be sure,” her soft, motherly demeanor all but evaporated as she narrowed her eyes at him, sharp, dark pupils analyzing every movement like a shark circling blood. 

But he was never one to squirm under pressure. 

“You’re sure that you love her?”  

“With everything that I am.”  

“You’d cross every line for her?” 

“There is no line I haven’t already crossed. I’d plunge the depths of Hell to be by her side.” 

“No matter the cost, you’ll never watch her fall for another?” 

“I’d sooner sell my own soul and rip out the heart of those who dare to try.”  

The flame in his eyes challenged her overprotective glare, and Rosie relaxed with a deep inhale, relenting her gaze and letting her smile return to her pale features.  

“Alright, I’ll help you. But don’t you break that poor girl’s heart, or you’ll never hear the end of it from me.” Alastor relaxed back into the sofa chair. Perhaps this ‘love’ business wouldn’t be so difficult, after all. 

Rosie promptly set her teacup down upon the coffee table and leaned forward to spill every secret in her book as if it were one of their regular gossiping sessions, laughing and trading pleasantries over tea.

And she'd make sure that you would be swooning at Alastor's feet when she was done with him.

“Now, here’s the gist of what to do...” 

She was something of a miracle worker, after all.

. . . 

𝐄𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: WELCOME TO THE END! YES, YOU DID IT!!

I'm so sorry to dump this whole fic onto ya'll- When I tell you that I audibly gasped when I saw the word count in my drafts-

Like this thing was 4,800 WORDS. I AM NOT ABOUT TO DO THAT TO YA'LL.

Anyways, it's always fun to write for this fic, but this one was so fun to do!! Istg Rosie would be the best wingman ever. She would solve The Summer I Turned Pretty in two episodes.

Thank you so much for reading! I'll see you next time with our favorite demented, yandere TV Man!!

. . .

𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: @starsformydarlingmazel, @chitter-chatter, @hazzbindarlingg, @darkangel582, @matrixbearer, @prosciuttosblog @frog-fans-unite

➺ 𝑩𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒐 @cafekitsune - 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫!

#alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #yandere alastor x reader #alastor the radio demon #yourdoorisunlocked #fanfic #rosie being the ultimate wingman #like she just wants to see her best friend be in love #she'd also be fucking rolling the entire time because he's horrible at social cues #banner by cafekitsune

[kaijukat-art]

that one babygirl redraw 🫢

#how the FUCK did this end up being canon #ufotable i owe you my life #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #douma #redraw

[spitinsideme]

GOD DAMN WHY DID YOU PUT DEMON POMNI IN THAT OUTFIT MOVE OVER RAGATHA GOD SAID ITS MY TURN WITH THE DEMON

thirsting for demon POMNI ?? yoire so real for that to be fair that shirt is hot love shpukdrrs and long gloves ... i feel like demon pomni desrrves to show off her nife looking back so she gets a new shirt (made with love by nun ragaytha for totally not unholy reasons)

#pomni x ragatha #buttonblossom #jesterdoll #ragapom #tadc fanart #tadc pomni #the amazing digital circus #pomni #pomni fanart #tadc ragatha #the amazing digital circus ragatha #ragatha tadc #ragatha #ragatha fanart #ragatha x pomni #pomatha #demon x nun au #demon pomni #nun ragatha #i love ... backs .. #women ... backk ... #i domt even lime muscles but that fucking .. the thing .. #none of you will understand me when i say this but i llve lime the shpilder olates being prominent on th3 back #its #woahhhh ... #a #every single part of a woman is beautlful

[jojotier]

the one thing that pisses me off about House of Leaves is that that play where the Minotaur is actually a disabled and disfigured son locked up in the labyrinth, as sweet and intelligent as he is despairing, focusing on King Minos slowly realizing his son has never been the problem and that this child he scorned as a beast is the most human a being can be, and just as he was on the verge of figuring out how to undo his own lies and bring his son into the sunlight, he doomed his son to death at the hands of a drunken thug proclaiming to look for glory, isn't real. it's not a real play! wha tthe fuck!!!!

#house of leaves #things i've read #the minotaur #fuck all these '''modern greek retellings''' if i dont see a 'the minotaur is a metaphor for the able-bodied ostracizing and demonizing #'the disabled because making them into social pariahs and outcasts is easier than trying to give them the dignity of a human being' take #im going to eat something

[allastoredeer]

"Lucifer fell first, Alastor fell harder." I fully commit to the theory that RadioApple took off officially the moment Alastor saw Lucifer's full demon form.

From: (⊙‿⊙)

To: (◉‿◉)

And not for the reason anyone might think looking at him.

Angel: Damn, power really that attractive to him?

Husk: In that Alastor has never wanted to eat someone more than he does right now? Yes.

Lucifer went from snack-size to full-course meal, and well, the way to Alastor's heart is through his stomach. The other feelings got sorted out later. XD

I am 100% on board with Alastor being attracted to power. Like, yeah, Lucifer's cute. Once you get past all the annoying bits, he's not TOO bad to be around. His apple still isn't as cool as a microphone, but it's okay. At least he's an appreciator of canes.

And then DEMON MODE and Alastor just

I actually haven't really gotten into the headcanon/fandom trope of Alastor wanting to eat and/or drink Lucifer's blood. But as an ace with the closest thing they've ever felt to attraction being full body armor/outfits (think the Mandalorian, the Black Panther suit (both T'Challa's and Shuri's), Death from Good Omen, etc...<- I'm not even making that up, if there's anything I've felt that I'd classify as attractive, it's people covered head-to-toe with not a piece of their body showing, usually with a modulated voice), this is me projecting onto Alastor, but in the form of ultimate demon power.

Alastor: I would never have sex with Lucifer.

Lucifer: *goes demon mode*

Alastor:

#but what can i do #i am but a humble ace projecting onto another not-so-humble ace #but i am obsessed with Alastor being attracted to power #I want to say thats why he's not attracted to Vox but thats SO MEAN and Vox already takes so many L's I can't do that to him #but yes yes #i need Alastor to see Lucifer's demon mode #he missed out on it which is a fucking travesty #hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #lucifer morningstar #appleradio #lucifer magne #asks #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer #hazbin lucifer #radioapple #anon #anonymous

[tobisiksi]

the headcannon of kusuo being a sleepwalker gives me a thousand years of life

bc I think that he would surely walk on the ceiling asleep with his eyes open while saying stupid things and every character who saw him like that is so fucking scared

I saw this on a post but imagine him in a sleepover w his friends, it's 3am and he's in the corner "looking" at everyone sleeping while walking in circles, kaido wakes up and its on the verge of peeing himself

IDK it's just so funny to me, what if one of kusuke's reasons to move out was because he was tired of kusuo jumpscaring him in the middle of his 17 minutes sleep

or kuniharu omg he would scream at the top of his lungs after seeing his son walking on the ceiling at 4am

#idk i just really like when kusuo is scary without trying it #fuck i KNOW that there is a post that talked abt kusuo being kaido's sleep paralysis demon BUT I CANT FIND IIITTT #saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k #kusuo saiki #kaido shun #kusuke saiki #kuniharu saiki #thinking thinking thinking #sorry if my english is bad

[andi-o-geyser]

all my favourite characters are just me seeing them and going "damn you sure do clean up well but I'd much rather see you grinning with blood between your teeth"

#also known as the 'i could fix them but its so much funnier to watch them go feral' phenomenon #i just want to see somebody who's usually composed covered in blood on their knees- *i am shot and my body is dragged offstage* #mizu being happy for one (1) second with her husband VS a fucking demon cutting people apart stopping at nothing for revenge #percy de rolo as a prim and proper lord VS possessed by a demon with a thirst for vengeance and burning orange eyes #james flint as a clean shaven british navy officer VS with a full beard and no morals beating a man to death with his bare hands #ellie williams as a sweet innocent kid VS a bloody tattooed woman on a self destructive quest for revenge knife fighting to the death #vi having a good day VS in a drag on knock out fistfight with another woman (i need her in a way concerning to feminism) #jason todd as robin VS the fucking red hood (he is covered in blood and half his mask is gone and i am going insane) #surprise! they're all on a quest for revenge #blue eye samurai #critical role #black sails #the last of us #arcane #batman #mizu #percy de rolo #james flint #ellie williams #vi arcane #jason todd #andis thought geyser

[lesbiansanemi]

Actually no I think my favorite relationship dynamic in all of demon slayer is Sanemi and Tanjiro’s. That shit is so fucking funny. They see each other and immediately want to attack each other like rabid fucking dogs. Sanemi is a man in his twenties but he wants this teenager dead. Tanjiro is quite literally the nicest person in existence but he looks at Sanemi and immediately sees red. The military organization they both work for had to fucking ban them from interacting because every time they looked at each other it was on fucking sight. I’m sorry. That’s just. So fucking funny

#sanemi sir you are pathetic for that fr #also sanemi being the one (1) person that tanjiro cannot rehabilitate via being nice is fucking hysterical #that man is so unhinged and so angry the shit that works on demons doesn’t even work on him #kimetsu no yaiba #sanemi shinazugawa #tanjiro kamado #kaz rambles

[ghouljams]

PLEASE CAN WE HAVE MORE KÖNIG WITH HIS LIL DEMON

I will always write more of König and Fetch.

König jolts in his chair, knees hitting the underside of his desk as your hands slide over his thighs. He looks down at you in a panic, your eyes glowing in the relative shadow of his desk, then across the wood at the Lieutenant standing at attention. The soldier's nerves and concern radiate off of him, eyes fixed to König as he tries to put his composure back together. KorTac runs a tight ship, König runs a tight ship, he can't have his men thinking he's got... women under his desk. Or one woman in particular. A very determined one who rubs her cheek against his knee and attempts to push closer.

"Dismissed Lieutenant." König tells the man.

"But Colonel, I haven't finished my-"

"Dismissed." König says more forcefully, the man straightens past perfect and nods before artfully scrambling out of the office. König sags back against his chair, drags a hand down his covered face. You are going to be the death of him.

"Fetch," he groans, exasperation coloring his tone, "What are you doing Schöne?"

"You seem tense." You nuzzle closer against his thigh, pulling yourself further from the shadows. König rests his elbow on the arm of his desk chair, his cheek against his knuckles as he stares you down. 

"I have been out of the field for," he takes a deep breath, rubs his eyes, "too long now." You hum, and fingers dragging up his thighs to his belt. "You will excuse me if I am-"

"Tense."

"Not entertaining you." König corrects. You pout, your fingers stilling. You don't need entertaining, that's just rude. You've been perfectly content sitting in König's shadow while he did all his silly busy work. You listened to all the stupid whining from the other KorTac operators, and watched your commanding officer give orders with an ever growing hunger. 

To say you were obsessed with the brutal efficiency with which König operated was an understatement. If you'd thought it was only his kills which had bought him a demonic companion you were witnessing first hand how incorrect an assumption that was. You've never seen a man command such degrees of respect and fear.

"Then let me entertain myself." König hums, eyes flicking to the door. You're getting better at reading him, but you can't tell if that's anxiety or amusement in his eyes.

"Lock the door, Fetch." He says after a moment. You hardly waste the time it would take to get up, flicking your wrist in the general direction of the office door to hear the metal click of the lock turn. The rest of your focus is on opening König's belt. He slides forward, closer to the edge of the chair, legs spreading wider on either side of you. You're not one to pass up an open invitation.

You pull his cock free of his pants and whine at the sight of it. Even soft he's a beast of a man. At some point you have to find whoever matched you to him and thank them. Truly they are doing the devil's work. 

You push up onto your knees and press your lips against the length of his cock, tongue darting out to taste his skin with a pleased hum. König wraps a hand around one of your horns, a firm reminder of his authority. Not that you need it. Oh no you are always well aware of his status as your superior officer and summoner. That's half the fun of being summoned in the first place, knowing you're at his command, or at his feet in this particular instance. 

"I told you Schöne, I can't entertain you." He reminds you, setting the paper down to sign before picking up another. You pull off with a frown, that gets his attention. König pushes at your horn, tipping your head back to look at him with a smile in his eyes. “I didn’t tell you to stop,” He clarifies, “I meant do whatever you want.”

Your drooling is working well for you so far, slicking König's quickly hardening cock enough to stroke it. His thick length is already too much to get your fingers all the way around. You're better with your mouth anyway, always mindful of your teeth when you close your lips around the head of his cock to suck. Tongue circling while your hand twists and pumps his length. You just remember to glance at König, too focused on your work. He's reading over a report, eyes scanning the paper as you bob your head down his cock. You whine, desperate for a shred of his attention.

Your eyes go wide. Whatever you want? He nods, and pulls your horn to press your face against his cock. As previously mentioned, you’re not one to pass up an open invitation. Quick to start pumping his cock with your fingers again as you duck your head to lick his balls. Dragging your tongue along the thin sensitive skin, feeling the texture of his coarse hair. Whatever you want? Oh you are going to worship him. Whatever you want means König cumming is not the end goal. Besides, he has to work.

You’re not meant to be let off leash. He’s supposed to give you orders, not hand you the reins. You trace every line and vein of his cock with your tongue, press languid kisses along the length of him, absolutely lose yourself in the taste and feel of him. Sweat, salt, military issue soap and the bitterness of pre-cum coat your tongue and fill your nose. König keeps you well fed but you haven’t seen battle in weeks. Now the lazy waves of lust that roll through him with the roll of your tongue feel like the best meal you’ve had in years.

You squeeze your fingers around the base of his cock as you wrap your lips around the head, easing your way down with fluttering lashes. You swallow, tongue rubbing against the underside of his cock until you reach your fingers. Then your hand drops to your lap and you still with your nose against his pubic bone, enjoying the feeling of being full. The heavy cock on your tongue, the ache in your jaw, the pressure of him stretching out your throat… You purr around him, earning a very pleased hum from König above you.

His hand leaves your horn to pet your hair as you cockwarm him. Your thoughts are fuzzy, your skin warm, all of you lulled by an affectionate hand, the scent of him, and a cock down your throat. Your fingers slip between your legs, lazy and indulgent, rubbing the slick from your cunt along your slit to circle your clit. When König is done with his work he’ll bend you over his desk and fuck you for being so needy, you want to be ready.

#demon!darling au #könig mw2 #colonel könig #oc: fetch #König #König x oc #König x reader #könig smut #Nobody talk to me about König being minorly ooc #I think he's got a “work mode” that lets him function like a normal person #y'know like a customer service personality #but for the fucking military #how did this man pass his psych evals #I don't think he did I think they just couldn't not let him kill people #Fetch is so fucking obsessed with this man #And he treats her like a pet #unlike Ghost who treats Die like a helpful annoyance

[nocreativityfornames]

Solomon + Devildom lore ( An Ancient War )

This sorcerer is confirmed to be Solomon by Barbatos at the end of the Devilgram.

#if I remember correctly this war was mentioned on the main storyline but it wasn't explained #I truly respect this man for his courage because GODDAMN #imagine being the demon king in that scenario #you're ruling your kingdom like always when a random sorcerer pops up in your castle proposing that you work UNDER him #the AUDACITY #I love him so much for this #mf fought A 7 DAYS WAR against the devildom BY HIMSELF #so fucking badass #obey me #obey me nightbringer #omnb #omnb card: “unforgettable past” ( solomon ) #obey me devilgram #obey me nightbringer spoilers #obey me solomon #obey me screenshots #☙ no creativity for names ✾

[katboykirby]

So many "Lucifer but he's a peacock" and "Mammon but he's a crow" posts and yes I love the idea of our boys having the physical forms of their actual animals it is very cute and silly HOWEVER-

Today, I come to offer you: "Satan but he's a super creepy FUCKED UP unicorn"

Make that fucker the size of a Shetland pony. I'm talking like 60cm tall, like mad small, I'm talking small as hell. Make him look like a gross amalgamation of a pony, a demonic-ass goat, and a fucked up deer with zombie wasting disease. Give him a skull face and exposed ribs where the flesh is rotting from his bones. Make his coat pitch black and wreathe his hooves with neon green flames. Give him the razor-sharp fangs of a carnivore and a horn that looks like a rusted knife blade bursting out of his head. Let him leave a trail of death and decay in his wake, like every footstep leaves behind burning green cinders and toxic smoke and ash. Make him deadly to even look upon, like existing in close proximity to him for too long would make your insides melt and liquify, make your body burn and corrode into a noxious sludge.

Like have you ever seen those fucked up zombie deer with prion disease? Make him look like that. Make him creepy as fuck. It's what he deserves.

#I'm very passionate about demons being Demons™ #like let them be fucked up! #let them be creepy little horror-nightmares! #I want my brain to melt inside my skull and drip out of my orifices because I dared look upon their eldritch terror forms! #let them be gross and scary! #let them be DEMONS! #ugh they would be so cool #anyway #obey me #obey me nightbringer #omswd #obey me satan #satan #satan obey me