#from a conversation i had with my sister

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Thing is, it was actually super important Mikey and Sanzu's relationship/shared history stayed hidden.

Cuz like.. If Kisaki had learnt about it in some way or another.. he probably would have come up with a plan to get rid of Sanzu, except that..

If you plan to get rid of Sanzu, Sanzu gets rid of you first.

And Kisaki really likes his plan to be perfect, Sanzu doesn't care about that much. He would think about it a bit just as to not to get caught by anyone, but the way he kills ppl is very direct

So, it was crucial that nobody knew about Sanzu and Mikey's relationship (Baji aside but Kisaki got him killed first (or second first when he succeeds to have Draken murdered)). Because Kisaki, which is the main antagonist for about 2/3 of the story should I remind you, would've died too quickly

#from a conversation i had with my sister #tokyo revengers #tok rev #tr #tokrev #tr sanzu #tokrev sanzu #tokyo revengers sanzu #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu akashi #should i tag spoilers #dont want anime only to come for me bc they found my post somehow #tr spoilers #tokrev spoilers #tokyo revengers spoilers

[sohaoying]

unfinished business

#your turn to die #yttd spoilers #sou hiyori #shin tsukimi #kugie kizuchi #yeah i'll make a ghost au #i didn't have room for more dialog but i think he'd want to be called shin here #shin's my fav and i like the greenblings so much but sometimes i forget that he was kind of a cringefail brother #sou being to kanna almost like what midori was to him + kugie rubbing it in >> #but also there's no way to know what their time in ch 2 was like for sure #it's only ever others who say kanna was being used while kanna herself denies it+her whole thing is that the main cast overlooks her agency #they had normal conversations (e.g. mint choco ice cream) and kanna was more aware than she let on (e.g. knowing sou wrote the phone note) #but the one conversation we saw of them alone from sou's pov (post-nightmare to be fair) was not a good look #we just don't know how healthy their dynamic was overall! #kugie wasn't the best sister initially either so i think she's reminded of her regrets too. but the dunking comes first #sometimes you see something you hated about yourself in someone else and go hm. hate that #i think they should have ghost adventures after their initial beef though. why? bc the kanna hallucination cg is my fav and i said so #and yttd is all about feeling empathy for everyone y'know? #art

[alexturner2005]

sometimes i think about how when i saw tame impala in 2018 a security guard handed me a setlist and then some girl ran up behind me and shoved me down and took it, and then in 2019 i saw them again at a different festival, and somehow ended up standing next to the SAME GIRL and her sister, and a security guard handed me a setlist AGAIN and the sister ripped it out of my hands and gave it to her sister, aka the girl who shoved me over for it the year before 😭

#WHAT ARE THE ODDS #we were making casual conversation in the crowd and i told them i saw tame at pitchfork and the sister was like #‘omg we were at pitchfork too! my sister got a setlist!’ and she was like ‘yeah i had to shove a girl over for it tho’ #bitch that was me! #i’ve never been handed a setlist except for those two shows and BOTH TIMES SHE TOOK IT FROM ME #just was scrolling through old concert photos and reignited my bitterness lol

[masterofthez]

While I think the revival of Leverage is not as good as the original (not bad, but just not as good), I think the character of Harry Wilson is one of the best ideas for the show.

Harry fills a somewhat similar role to Nate. Not in the sense that he is the protagonist or the mastermind. Instead, he’s the inside man. He’s the character that has been in the system that the team is fighting against and was very good at it. Unlike Nate however, that fact eats Harry up. Sure, we get mentions about how Nate hates himself, especially in season one. He hates himself because he put so much work and time giving money to a company that ultimately doesn’t care about the lives of people. But that’s also being kinda broad. After all, the main source of grief is that he put so much effort into the company that killed his son. That’s the focus, and much less so about the fact that the company probably destroyed a lot of lives. That’s not a bad thing inherently. After all, Nate is always framed as the good honest man regardless of the situation he’s in. He’s this moral rock for the rest of the team in a lot of ways before everyone else grows a conscience.

That’s then where Mr. Wilson comes into play. He also worked for a not very good company. But unlike Nate, Harry did do horrible things to people. He protected the rich from the poor they stepped on. And he was good at it and well versed in the ways of an evil lawyer. And when he realizes the consequences of his actions, that eats him up inside. Importantly, nothing happens to him. He did his job well. Sure, he’s divorced, and he doesn’t have the best relationship with his daughter, but he’s also largely made peace with that. What makes him join team Leverage is that he saw the destruction that a monster just left in it’s wake only to realize that was the path he just walked.

The same role as Nate, but an incredibly different way. And this is true in a lot of ways. His emotional arch is moving past his own negative emotions, like Nate. Except Nate needed to move past his anger so he could move on with his life. Harry needed to move past his guilty so he could realize just how much good he could do as a lawyer. Harry and Sophie are confidants to each other just like she and Nate was, but Harry and Sophie’s relationship is very much not romantic. Instead, Harry is the only people Sophie can talk to about her troubles without the preconceptions about what the old team was like (Yeah, Breanna is new to the crew, but she was also aware of them before joining). For fairly obvious reasons, it’s clear why they didn’t bring Nate back to the show, but Harry is a grade example of making a character that fits into this save spot on the team while still being there own separate character.

#leverage #leverage redemption #nate ford #harry wilson #This post comes from a conversation I had with my sister #And being bored at work

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened. #you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help? #doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do” #“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem” #(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.) #he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again. #something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence? #she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”. #wips tag

[desicowgirl]

Having a smooth and successful conversation with service workers always makes me want burst out into song and dance as I walk away, it puts an extra pep in my step.

#this just happened to me heh #I was out buying my sister and brother in law their birthday gifts #and from start to finish I did not stutter once and had such a smooth conversation with the cashier #he even laughed at a joke I cracked #and I felt so pleased with myself afterwards #I feel like if life was a video game I would’ve earned game points heh #social anxiety: 0 / me: 1 🙂‍↕️ #biography blogging

[thenwethrowitonthefire]

Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

#fucking hell #it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister #who was equally dreading the day #my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt #then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present) #multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way. #combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high #weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells. #this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing. #then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on. #my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence #i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum #who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?) #me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting. #Which amuses the bored and the deaf #but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed #they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes #finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism* #still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously #(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something) #me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room #and made things appear that should not be there #I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go #you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room. #i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear #I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that. #the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well #she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer #maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk. #can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important

[yardsards]

can i ask about your experience as a quaker (or growing up as one? i just saw you mention bein one in some tags)

i jus don't know much about them

so i was not raised quaker, i was raised baptist. which was. 0/10, do not recommend. all the guilt of catholicism with none of the stained glass lmaooo

like, i did resinate with the idea of there being some sort of higher power and i liked the idea of getting together with other believers to discuss spiritual matters but as i got older and started thinking for myself i realized i really didn't like a lot of things about the church. i hated the bigoted beliefs of its members. i hated the emphasis on blind obedience to authority. i didn't believe that the whole literal truth could be found within one book, specifically one group's interpretation of said book. and the idea that people were born inherently bad and sinful and that a supposedly kind and just god would condemn people to eternal suffering just for not believing the "right" things just did not sit well with me at all

when i went off to college i decided to try out a few different churches around town. i ended up settling on a progressive presbyterian church. the community was great and very accepting of queer people. i had some minor qualms with the theology but it wasn't like with my parents' church where every sermon made me feel increasingly nauseous, and i generally felt *good* during and after the services

and then covid hit and while they did stream their sermons, i lost that sense of community and just kinda... fell away

throughout all this i was researching different faiths online, both christian and non-christian. and one faith that kept popping up a lot that i liked the sound of was quakerism. like at one point i remember taking some online quiz of like "what religion do your values most align with" and quakerism was very in the lead. (before this, i'd only really been exposed to quakerism in history textbooks and assumed the religion died out alongside puritanism)

in the end what got me really interested was actually a video by a youtuber i liked, a queer/disability advocate and historical fashion enjoyer who also happened to be quaker

and after looking more into it, i decided to try attending a quaker meeting. which was easier due to covid cuz i could find a church online (located physically hundreds of miles from me) that did their sunday services over zoom

and so i attended and the people there were great and were doing actual good in their communities. and the way services were run, and their beliefs about what god *was* and all of that just hit me with an intense feeling of like. holy shit this is what i've always wanted from religion.

the video explains the sort of core beliefs and practices of quakerism better than i can but the main belief is that like. every person is godly. as such, it's our job to treat all living people as equally and kindly as possible. additionally, since we all have god inside of us, we need to look inwards and come to our own conclusions about our own religious beliefs and practices (and generally respect other people's religious beliefs even if they differ from our own, so long as they're not causing real tangible harm)

i haven't attended any meetings in a while, due to that group going back to semi in person (they still stream it out but it feels more like being a spectator than a member) and there being no quaker meetinghouses in the tiny town i currently live in, coinciding with me being too depressed to regularly attend anything. but i'm planning to start attending quaker meetings again once i move to a real city

#eliot posts #christianity cw #quakerism #tangentially: another faith that popped up a lot in my searches was reform judaism #from what i read it had a lot of the same things that i liked about quakerism. and was second place in that quiz i took lol #also my big sister was really interested in judaism when she was a teen (tho never converted) #bc our mother's side of the family is ashkenazi jewish but just ethnically not in practice. and my sis was interested in our roots #so i have a bit of a soft spot towards the faith because of her lol #but i decided i didn't wanna try and join any synagogues even online unless i was really serious about considering conversion #figured they didnt need a clueless gentile bargin in and being Confused and i felt too awkward to directly ask any individuals abt it #which was prolly like 20% a reasonable conclusion and 80% my anxious tendencies telling me i'm just a nuisance #but yeah lmao i think in a nearby parallel universe (if those exist) there's an eliot that converted to progressive judaism lol #long post

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart #on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me #but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents #leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing #if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney #at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious #intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops #functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant #obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom #but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills #it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was #meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood #but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual. #i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more #we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week #its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die #so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her #computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to #before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the #feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird #unrelated

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

The freezing metal against his palms is almost a relief, for once. The uncomfortable sensation draws him out of his thoughts, grounding him back in the real world. 

Hours upon hours he had spent silently hoping, begging anything out there that might listen to let his brother still be alive. 

Now, Crosshair almost wishes that Tech had been killed after all. 

He still remembers so viscerally how swiftly his free will had been snatched away from him, before he had even noticed it was gone. As if he were nothing more than a mindless clanker. It’s one thing for it to have happened to him, but the thought of it being forced upon Tech, innocent, infuriatingly selfless Tech - his hands curl into fists, fingernails digging into his palms as he fights off a sudden wave of nausea. 

Crosshair’s only hope is that whatever they’ve done to him is stronger than the inhibitor chips were. That if the real Tech is still in there somewhere, he isn’t aware of what’s happening to him. Because if he is, if he knows what he’s being forced to do… it’s worse than any torture that Hemlock could devise. 

The tightness in his chest is growing again. He swallows, pushing past the constriction to force himself to speak. “Omega?” 

The little girl shows no sign that she’s even heard him. She hasn’t moved from her curled-up position since the door sealed behind them - arms locked around her knees, frozen to the spot except for the trembling of her shoulders. 

There’s a part of him that wants nothing more than to retreat back into his own shell, to shut Omega out along with the rest of the world, and yet he can’t. Something about the way her breath hitches with barely stifled sobs twists his gut into knots.

“Omega,” he hisses, leaning forward to give her shoulder a wary nudge.

There’s silence, before Omega finally unfurls herself. For a moment, she just gazes up at him, despairing eyes glistening with tears. And then, she surges forward, flinging her arms around his neck with a sudden reckless abandon. 

It takes a lot to surprise Crosshair, but that certainly does the trick. He stiffens, his arms automatically straightening in front of him - just short of touching Omega. She’s crying properly now, burying her face in his shoulder as she sobs. 

Should he say something? What is there to say? He knows better than to lie, to assure that everything will be alright. What’s the point in telling her something that both of them know not to be true? 

Hunter would know what to do, they all would, but he’s not like them. He’s a ticking time bomb, a fractured, savage beast held together by fraying threads.

And yet he’s all that she has left. 

There’s nothing that he can do for his brother, not now. But there might be something he can do for Omega. 

Tentatively, he wraps an arm around her back, holding her closer against him. The other hand mechanically combs through her curls, a wooden attempt at replicating the way Hunter used to soothe him. 

Whatever he’s doing, it seems to be working. Gradually, Omega’s breathing slows, her sobs fading to dejected sniffles. She makes no move to raise her head from his shoulder, still clinging on tight to him. 

Crosshair is her only anchor in the storm, now. Him, the last person in the galaxy she should trust to keep her safe. 

And yet, for some unfathomable reason, she does. 

Promises can be dangerous things, especially ones that have no guarantee of being kept. Crosshair knows that all too well. 

But danger has never put him off before, has it? 

The promise that he makes to himself in that moment is a silent one. It doesn’t change the fact that they’re still imprisoned in a cell with no conceivable way of escaping, or that all it takes is one word to make him disappear, or that his own brother is one of the ones keeping him trapped as a lab rat. 

All the same, something seems to shift inside him. The pain hasn’t gone away, but now there’s something else alongside it. A fire that died long ago, and is only just starting to glimmer back to life. 

It’s him that got Omega into this hellhole in the first place, and it’s going to be him that gets her out of here alive. And after he does, nothing is ever going to hurt her again.

Whatever it takes. 

#MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #this has been in my brain for aaaaages #enjoy gentler crosshair while it lasts #the conversation after this is… interesting #she’s tried to touch him a few times before this and he’s gone from immediately lashing out at her #to grudgingly allowing it but snapping the second she gets a bit too close #but now he’s just like fuck it. i need a hug too #he has No Idea what he’s doing and it would be kinda funny #hunter also had No Idea but he’s more naturally warm than cross is so it was easier #writing their development is going to be so much fun aaaaah #AND WHEN WAS THE LAST WHATEVER IT TAKES???? #WHEN HE TOLD HIMSELF HE WASN’T GOING TO LET HER GET CLOSE #AND NOW LOOK #also i just think it’s neat that he believes he deserved the brainwashing but tech doesn’t #he loves them he really does #keep an eye on the ‘i’d rather he was dead than brainwashed’ thing it might come back later ;) #also also #notice how tech is ‘his brother’ but omega’s never ‘his sister’? #let’s see how long it takes before that final barrier comes down #wip

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

childhood birthday party games and the strange magical quality of light (only in the afternoon)

I want to stay in this August limbo

bending over backwards just to keep it together

how far can I bend before I have to break

we'll never find out because nothing has to change

orange sunlight earlier nights golden mornings

no need to say goodbye when the sun is burning us alive

they call this the dog days and I still haven't figured out why

maybe it's the way dogs hate to see people go

maybe it's all that love to give to anyone who will have it

summer is going to end eventually and seasons are gonna change

but right now we're playing limbo

bending under a pole to see how far we can go

and it doesn't have to change just yet

~ L. T.

#I think my signature in poetry is literally just ''will she rhyme? no? maybe?? just for one line?? who knows'' at this point skfnskfns #does this have a rhythm? does anything I write? we may never know #Lu writes #sometimes I think I could write poetry #this is loosely inspired by the conversation I had with my kid sister while we walked home from church today #bc like.. I'm really feeling the limbo. it's a couple weeks until my family goes on vacation. friends aren't having babies just yet #other friends aren't going home just yet. for right now we're in a weird sort of end of summer limbo that I kind of wish would last

[jesterguy]

I have so many posts in drafts about Palestine and I still just don't even know what to say or where to start

#how do i talk about my extremely zionist early education #how do i talk about my birthright trip at age 13 and the impact it had on me as a jew and as a human on this planet #how do i talk about my childhood rabbi reaching out the kids i grew up with offering support for those mourning the loss of history #and also those mourning the lives of colonizers (who ultimately are jews seeking a safe space after hardship at the great expense of others #my fucking guts have been clenched for days i feel like a shell #my mom is more worried about sending my transfem sister to college on her own in the inner city now not bc she's trans but bc she's jewish. #not to mention i always say im 'raised jewish' not actually jewish bc im not! im not jewish ive bever had a conversion. #what fucking right do i have #all i know is my upbringing and my ability as an adult to unpack it. #and how many things that i was taught are WRONG #i didnt get a christian brainwashing a got a zionist brainwashing #anyways all this to say theres always a lot of regard for Palestinian suffering on here as there should be in these situations #but young jews have a fucking weight on them right now like you just would not believe #not that its equal to or greater than the trauma of being palestinian. but just that its not mentioned right now #thats all ive got to say. idk yall are welcome to ask me more about this i just had to spew some of it #might delete #cam talks #if it isnt clear im fully pro palestine and my goal isnt to be any sort of devils advocate here. im just in a very complicated sort of pain #if i posted that email from my middle school rabbi here he would be doxxed and hate crimed. #and you know. i dont like the guy. but the fact that i know thats what would happen tells you a lot.

[rinielelrandir]

If you follow me and in any way, shape, or form think the Israeli civilians killed and kidnapped on 07Oct (including children! including old people! including goddamn peace activists working for Palestinian liberation longer than some of us have been alive!) *deserved* what happened by virtue of being Israeli? Do me a favor and unfollow me. This is me showing you the door, please see yourself out, I do not want to have a conversation with you about this. (See tags for caveat.) Because killing of non-combatants is never okay.

It literally does not matter which "side" you are on here. To be clear, I do not agree with being on any "side", this isn't a fucking sports match. These are real people being straight up murdered. Palestinian and Israeli. Both for having the misfortune to be born the wrong country or the wrong religion. That will always be wrong. Hamas is wrong. The Israeli government is wrong. Because killing civilians is always wrong. That's it. That's the takeaway. You don't get to say "Palestinians have a right to self-defense" as a justification for 07Oct. Self-defense does not extend to civilian targets. To non-combatants. To CHILDREN.

And to be quite clear, I will not accept "Israel has a right to self-defense" as a justification for the killing of Palestinian civilians but I'm largely not seeing that from Jewish leftists, including Israelis and including Zionists. I'm largely seeing them call for a ceasefire and for peace and condemn the Israeli government and its actions.

But I *am* seeing fellow western leftists, particularly non-Jews, defend Hamas and the 07Oct attacks in their desire to stand with Palestine. You have to stop doing that. Hamas are not the good guys, you can read their damn charter documents online. You can read analyses of them by experts - Hamas is a religious extremist group intent on imposing jihadist control over the entire region and eliminating all Jews. It's not something they've been secretive about. They routinely kidnap, torture, and kill PALESTINIAN peace activists who they learn have met with Israeli peace activists or in any way worked towards a 2 state solution. They use global aid donated to Gaza for themselves while letting their citizens suffer. Their most prominent leaders don't even live within Gaza, aren't even at severe risk. These are all things you can verify easily and readily just by doing some basic research anywhere that isn't Twitter, tumblr, or Al Jazerra.

So if you want to justify killing civilians? If you want to support a terrorist organization? If you are going to unilaterally condemn all Israelis for the crime of being citizens of a country whose government you disagree with? Please see yourself out. And when you do, please keep in mind that I am a nonzionist telling you to kindly consider availing yourself of the sea. I do not support Israel and I work with actual Palestinian liberation organizations when I can. I've been doing so for the better part of the past 5 years. I attend a synagogue that is actively involved in Palestinian liberation as well as the first nonzionist havurah in the US. I'm not exactly new to this.

But I am also a Jew. I do not support Israel, the government of the nation state, largely because I do not support the concept of nation states as a whole. I find the system inherently violent. But I *do* support, Israel, the people. I am a Jew by Choice. I have chosen to throw my lot in with Israel and her people. They are MY people. If you gleefully call for my people to be slaughtered, I want nothing to do with you.

#caveat that if we're actually friends you are free to reach out for a conversation about this #the no conversations bit applies only to followers #mutuals who are not irl friends i will allow good faith questions but know i will likely be less forgiving than if we were friends #also no content tags for this bc i really don't want it being found #but yeah i'm having a ROUGH time lately with all this #basically every single one of my jewish friends has a family member or friend on a casualty list #or a missing list from 07Oct #and if they don't they know someone who does #i have a friend from that havurah i mentioned who had 2 longtime friends in Israel affected #both were elderly peace activists living on kibbutzim and working for palestinian liberation #one was killed and the other taken hostage #and i just i can't handle the people saying 'everyone deserved it' #really? really??? #did *they* deserve it #did the children killed deserve it??? #(i have a dead sister if you tell me anyone ever deserves their child to die i will personally fight you) #oh and did the bedouins who were also at the music festival and also killed deserve it? #bc ya know hamas didn't just kill israeli jews that day #they also killed bedounis (who are generally considered palestinian) #bc hamas is an extremist terrorist group and that's what they do

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.

I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃

#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag #trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened #and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents #but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO #they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her #but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers #and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming #(a conversation SHE started btw) #and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back #and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary??? #that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you #like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive) #but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but. #if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that #i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions? #and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️' #(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent) #hate it. thanks #apostake #jay rambles #ok to interact #im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged #gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully #they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face #haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc #it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace #my sister's 17 ffs #it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void #religion #mormonism

[katnissgirlsmakedo]

and when i say that teen beach movie balanced the satirical and the genuine better than greta gerwig’s barbie……. however on the other hand teen beach movie does not have charli xcx on the soundtrack so.

#been thinking about barbie a bit lately after i had a conversation w my sister about it #although you’d never have noticed that i’ve been thinking about it from the state of my blog. #i don’t feel like Posting about any of it but i have Thoughts!! when i get to rewatch it i’ll be able to get into it #anyway i’m watching teen beach movie rn #beth.txt

[makkie-is-screaming]

my brothers going to leave and I’m not gonna see him much anymore. I never healed from what he did I never tried to fix our relationship he’s going to leave and we’re never gonna be close again. I want to cry I hate this.

#I don’t even text my brother there’s a total of 15 texts between us and 5 of them were from when my sister was using my phone #I’m always angry at him and the idea of going and talking to him about anything scares me #I just want have a good relationship with my brother js that too much to fucking ask for #I haven’t had a real conversation with him in years we used to actually talk #screaming