#it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart #on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me #but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents #leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing #if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney #at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious #intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops #functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant #obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom #but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills #it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was #meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood #but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual. #i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more #we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week #its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die #so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her #computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to #before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the #feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird #unrelated

[jeanfrancoisgeschwind]

Jeff Geschwind  Don't Let Cancer Perplex You; Read On

Jeff Geschwind Expert tips provider. Open lines of communication are incredibly important when you or someone you know has been diagnosed with cancer, but what you are actually communicating is equally important. Make sure you always have the best information available to deal with cancer. Here are some expert tips that will assist you in fighting cancer.

Try to reduce the amount of sugar that you consume, as part of your daily diet. Cancer cells live on sugar, so removing sugar from your daily food intake has positive effects on starving cancer cells. You can use this technique along with other treatments to boost their effectiveness.

With cancer, early detection is important and will increase the chance of cure. Be prepared to make appointments for screening tests, which will let you know if you have cancer before any symptoms appear. For testes and breast cancer, do self-exams monthly so that you may determine anything unusual.

If you are diagnosed with cancer, then you should remember to try to find out everything you can from your doctor about your illness and its treatment. Ask questions that will tell you what kind of cancer you have, what stage it is in, if it is treatable, where it is located, how far it has spread, and more. This will not only give you ease of mind, but it will inform you on the best ways to treat your cancer.

Carcinogens are substances that damage DNA. They are instrumental in starting and aiding in the growth of cancers. Things to stay away from that are carcinogenic are tobacco, asbestos, x-rays, the sun and exhaust fumes. Exposure to these substances causes cells to stop functioning in a normal way.

You should read books about cancer survivors when you are coping with cancer because it may help to give you inspiration. Reading inspirational books about survivors is a great way to give yourself the mental boost that is needed when you are feeling worried, stressed or depressed about your cancer.

The sun can be a major cancer causing factor for many people. The sun releases ultraviolet rays that enter the earth's atmosphere. When we step outside, our skin is exposed to these rays, and too much exposure can cause skin damage that can lead to skin cancer. Be sure to protect yourself with sun screen to prevent this.

Jeff Geschwind Skilled tips provider. Be mindful that any fruits and vegetables that you purchase at the store are possibly contaminated. Pesticides are used on these crops to guard against diseases and pests. Wash your produce in warm water with dish soap, or consider buying only organic foods.

Don't change your life drastically. It may be better if you try to maintain your lifestyle as it was while introducing necessary modifications. A big change can increase your stress level and confuse the people around you. Take every day at a time and make changes to your life as is needed.

Drinking those sugary sodas and other beverages can actually increase your risk of contracting cancer, so you should get rid of them. The high amount of calories and simple carbohydrates can cause weight gain, which in turn can invite cancer to grow and spread in numerous places in the human body.

Try limiting fat in your diet. By decreasing the amount of fat, you will lower your cancer risk. Avoid frying, especially deep frying. There are alternatives to frying such as baking, roasting, broiling, and steaming. Try to buy the low or non fat versions of your favorite foods, like milk and yogurt.

The more active you are in your own treatment, the better advocate for your care you will be. Don't settle for sitting on the sidelines. You will not get better if you aren't actively involved in the process.

Staying out of the sun is key in preventing skin cancer, but most people do not listen to this advice in the wintertime. Believe it or not, the same UV rays from the sun penetrate the atmosphere in the cooler months too. You might not feel the heat, but you will receive the same radiation.

If you are responsible for helping out a relative fighting cancer and go with them to medical appointments, make certain to speak up and ask any questions you have yourself. Just because you aren't a patient doesn't mean you shouldn't have questions for the doctor as well. The goal is to be able to offer the support needed and doing so through a professional's advice, not guesswork or theories.

Jeff Geschwind Top service provider. If you have pale skin and many freckles, you are likely at a higher risk of developing skin cancer and should avoid the sun as much as possible. If you do not have many freckles, you are going to want to wear a sunscreen with a higher sun protection factor to protect your skin from sun damage.

You may feel that you are going to be fine to take yourself to your appointments for treatment but do not hesitate to ask a loved one for help getting there. You will find your loved ones will do just about anything to help you through this difficult time including driving you to your appointments.

If you find that your hair is falling out from chemotherapy treatment, do not be ashamed to get a wig. By wearing a wig, not only will you have your hair, but you will be protecting your scalp from dirt and germs. If you cannot afford a wig, certain organizations may provide one for you.

Take time out of your schedule to pamper yourself a bit. You can go and get a manicure and pedicure or just take a candlelit bath. This time is important and you should really make the most out of every minute that you have to relax and enjoy time.

Jeff Geschwind Proficient tips provider. By using accurate information to assist you in the battle against such a sickness, you can put yourself in a better position to ultimately win. Do not take the great tips you just read for granted. They may just help to save your life or the life of someone you care about.

#jeff geschwind

[compassionatereminders]

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Summary

(The full post with elaborate explanations can be found here.)

Being a responsible adult doesn’t have to mean doing things perfectly - it means doing what you realistically can. Can’t eat 7 fresh veggies and fruits a day? Buy some veggie juice or a smoothie and chug that. Can’t make a proper, healthy meal? Add some extra protein to your instant noodles. Can’t do the dishes? Buy some paper plates. Don’t worry about doing things “the right way”, just do what works.

It’s not cheating to do something the easy way. If there’s an easy or more manageable solution available, use it. Even if some people think it’s lazy. Don’t worry about that. Just focus on finding the methods of doing things which make life easier for you.

Fuck what you’re “supposed” to do. Yes, ideally you shouldn’t run the dishwasher twice, but if cleansing the dishes by hand is not an option and that’s the only way you can get clean dishes, do it anyways! When you’re in a really bad place mentally, fuck the rules. Do what you need to do to get shit done, even if it’s not how you’re supposed to do it.

Do stuff while you’re waiting to do other stuff. We spend a lot of time waiting, so spend the time you’d normally just waste getting some chores done. Collect the trash while your roommate is in the bathroom or wipe down the kitchen counters while you’re making coffee. You can even turn it into a game! How many dishes can you clean before the potatoes are boiling? How much trash can you collect and throw out before your load of laundry is done?

You don’t have to do everything at once. Don’t wait for the day where you’re up for cleaning the entire house cause then you’ll be waiting for ages. You can wipe down one counter and call it a day. You can put away a couple things and leave the rest. You can do one small chore and let that be it. You don’t have to choose between doing everything and doing nothing. Any progress is worthwhile.

Let go of the idea that something has to become a permanent habit to have any value. Doing a certain sport for a month is still healthy even if you then move on to something else. Exploring a new hobby for a while and then moving on to other stuff will always teach you something. What’s good for you today will not necessarily be what’s good for you tomorrow.

Don’t worry about the entire task. Just focus on the first step. Don’t worry about brushing your teeth - just get your toothbrush wet and put tooth paste on it. Don’t worry about writing the essay - just look at the assignment and open a document. Don’t worry about going to the store - just put on your coat and your shoes. Starting a task is a lot easier if you only focus on the step right in front of you.

Imagine that your body is a pet/animal you have to care for. Feed and hydrate yourself, keep yourself and your environment clean, make sure you don’t get under or overstimulated, allow yourself time to rest and relax, find ways to enrich your life (like socializing, media or hobbies) - and do your best to make sure you’re healthy and happy, even though you never actually signed up for being your own zookeeper.

Just because you can’t do it perfectly doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Packing lunch a couple times a week is better than never packing lunches. Journaling or making art once a month is better than never doing anything creative. Exercising every once in a while when you have the energy is better than never exercising. You don’t have to do something every single day for it to be important and helpful.

Put on a professional persona when it’s necessary. Try to separate the anxious and dysfunctional you from the Student You who’s sending that important email or the Client You who’s making that phone call or the Customer You who isn’t afraid to ask for help. It might feel like you’re performing a role, but to be honest, most of us do at times.

When you’re doing chores, act like you’re filming a tutorial. Narrate what you’re doing like someone’s watching. That might make it easier to maintain focus and to keep track of the various steps.

You don’t have to do anything perfectly. Wiping yourself off with some baby wipes beats not doing anything about your personal hygiene. Eating a protein bar beats not eating. Using mouthwash beats neglecting dental hygiene completely. Going for a quick walk beats not moving. It doesn’t have to be perfect to count and make a difference.

Make something you know you have to do the trigger for you to start doing something else. Tell yourself “next time I get up to pee I’ll take out the trash” or “when I get up to get something to drink next I’ll make lunch.” If you HAVE to get up anyways, you might as well.

Assign yourself a deadline. Tell yourself “once this video is over, I’ll do the dishes” or “once this alarm rings, I’ll do my laundry.” 

If you struggle to be compassionate towards yourself, try visualizing your future self as a separate person who you like and want to do favors for. Try to think of your future self as a friend who is separate from your current self and do what you can to make their life easier by doing things like preparing that lunch, doing those chores, taking that shower or making fun plans. I know they’ll be grateful.

Make putting stuff back where it belongs so easy that you “might as well.” Organize your home so that placing stuff where it belongs becomes so easy that you might as well just place it there. For many people that means several laundry baskets, many trash cans and easily accessible and very visible storage options. So if you keep finding things in annoying places, make sure they get an easily accessible home!

Look into why you can’t do something. Is something about the chores you’re struggling to do actually causing you sensory distress and is there something you can do to make it more comfortable? If you hate mint toothpaste, get one that tastes like bubble gum. If old food grosses you out, do the dishes with thick gloves on. If showering makes you feel bad about your body, shower with the lights off. The problem isn’t always about self discipline, and in those cases it’s worth looking into why you’re struggling so much to get certain chores done.

Take care of yourself in order to take care of others ( whether pets or people.) Outside motivation is necessary for many people who struggle with executive dysfunction. For many people getting out of bed is easier when you know someone else is relying on you being somewhat functional. So don’t be afraid to find the motivation to take care of yourself in wanting to take care of others.

Make keeping your place clean as easy as possible. Make sure there’s easy one step access to the things you need often. Make sure that the place where a thing is supposed to be is actually within reach of where you use the thing. Make sure everything has a an easily accessible place to go, even if that means several laundry baskets and several trash cans. Examine what’s messing up your place and find a home for it where you’re likely to actually place it on a regular basis.

Choose one very specific thing to work on - like the bathroom sink or the oven or your desk. If you suffer from executive dysfunction you’ll likely be distracted, but having one specific focus point you can keep returning to will mean that in between getting distracted, you can return to your chosen project and get some shit done.

When something feels overwhelming, tell yourself to “just show up” and that you “won’t have to stay the whole time if it’s horrible.” Cause odds are that once you’ve pushed past your initial mental block, you’re likely to stay and finish what you started.

If you really can’t do something, accept your limits and find a different method. Don’t keep trying to push through via willpower alone. If you need outside accountability to get your shit done, find someone who can hold you accountable. If you know you can’t remember the stuff you’re supposed to remember, make sure to always write things down. If you keep forgetting your meds, set a daily alarm. Don’t keep expecting yourself to be able to do things you always struggle with.

Make your chores into a game. Assign certain chores certain points and make a list of fun rewards you can have once you’ve earned a certain amount of points through doing chores.

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly. Any amount of effort is better than none, so on days where you can’t do something well, do it anyways! Any amount of progress beats not getting started.

Find a momentum and use it to do that thing you’ve been struggling to start doing. You can’t get yourself together to shower? Well, find something you CAN do - and once you’re already doing something, you might be able to channel said energy into showering.

Take it one step at a time. I know a shower sounds overwhelming, but can you take your clothes off? If yes, can you turn on the shower? If yes, can you stand under the stream? Look who just tricked themselves into doing the thing by breaking it down into manageable chunks!

Don’t just break a task into smaller steps - break it into steps so small you can’t possible get overwhelmed and fuck up. “Clean my room” is far too vague - but “set a timer and collect all the trash you can in 10 minutes” is actually manageable and so is “move all dirty dishes to the kitchen” or “remove and/or sort all clothes laying on the floor.”

Don’t worry about how most people do things - worry about what works for YOU. You constantly lose your key? Make ten copies. You overlook your post it notes? Put something with the important reminder on it in front of the door. Got laundry and trash all over the floor? Get more laundry baskets/trash cans. Coping with executive dysfunction is not about learning to do things the neurotypical way, it’s about finding strategies which actually work for you.

When you’re overwhelmed and struggling, find the easiest and fastest way to get rid of some of the distress. Eat if you’re hungry, sleep if you’re tired, pee if you have to, get that thing you’ve been postponing done if you can. The more stressors you can remove, the better - and it’s okay to start with the smaller ones!

Don’t worry about aesthetics. When you struggle with executive dysfunction, maintaining a picture perfect home is probably unrealistic. So drop that dream and focus on making your space practical and functional. Remove the doors of your kitchen cabinets and closets if that will actually make you put stuff away. Get a paper shredder and a mail sorting station if you got mail and advertisements everywhere. Buy all your socks in one color if you struggle to pair them. There are many ways to make your environment more functional. Explore them instead of just trying and failing to make your home look nice.

Get started on your next task before you take your break. Write that first sentence, make that first sketch, get the vacuum cleaner out of the closet or collect the dishes for washing and THEN have your break. Many people with executive dysfunction struggle to start tasks, so for most of us it’s easier to continue something we’ve already started working on than to begin from scratch.

#kat gets serious #coping #executive dysfunction #disability #mental illness #self care #recovery

[gullethead]

Writing In Eternian

Hey! I made a post about a little season 5 easter egg yesterday (not linking it here because for some reason it blocks the post from showing in the tags)and while I was poking through the tags, I noticed that a lot of people want to learn how to use First Ones writing! Writing and orthography are actually things I'm really interested in, so I decided to make this guide for people. It's a bit more in-depth than the official press release, so if you just want to use that, feel free!

Here’s the original tweet from the She-Ra Twitter account, which has more examples: twitter. com /dreamworksshera/status/1055474341553623040

Here we go! Putting it under a break so it doesn't eat up your whole screen.

THE SOUNDS OF ENGLISH & THE IPA

So first of all, we need to start with a brief introduction to the IPA. (If you’re already familiar, you can skip to the next big heading.) Lots of languages use a lot of different letters or other characters to represent certain sounds, but when you're working with linguistics, you need to be able to say exactly what you mean. So, we made the International Phonetic Alphabet. This is a long list of individual letters and markings that represent very specific sounds, and you use them by placing them between slashes, like /d/, and sometimes to distinguish, you place the actual writing between corner brackets, like <d>. So for instance, /t/ and /h/ make the same sounds that <t> and <h> make in English, but <th> (usually) makes either the /θ/ or /ð/ sounds. These change based on where you live, but in general the consonants are the same for all English speakers.

Knowing this is important, because something I love about the First Ones alphabet is that it isn't just a letter substitution! Many "secret language" alphabets I've seen in kid's series (like Artemis Fowl, for instance) are just simple one-to-one substitutions for the Latin alphabet we use. But First Ones writing is actually very different! It uses the actual sounds made in the word. So if you wrote "cat" in the First Ones script (which I'm gonna call Eternian, after Eternia from He-Man, which flows better than "First Ones script"), it would actually look like "kat", because the letter c can be used for the sounds k or s, so it doesn't translate.

The alphabet we're using right now was created for the Latin language, derived from the Greek alphabet, which itself has a very long history behind it. English is NOT descended from Latin - it's a Germanic language, and the Germanic family is only kind of related to the Romantic family that developed out of Latin. However, a lot of our vocabulary has a Latin infusion because of mixing with Old French in the 1000s-1100s, and even before that, we used the Latin alphabet because it was the most common. This means that in order to express all the sounds we have, English speakers writing English had to combine different letters together; this, plus over a thousand years of different spellings and dialects, means that our orthography - our way of writing the sounds we say - is FUCKED. The Eternian alphabet is actually a much more efficient way of writing these sounds!

This is the total list of English consonants:

A few notes here:

To make sure you're not lost, /ŋ/ is <ng>, /j/ is <y>, /θ/ and /ð/ are <th>, /ʃ/ and /ʒ/ are <sh> and <zh> (the French <j>, not usually distinguished in English writing) respectively, and /tʃ/ and /dʒ/ are <ch> and the English <j> respectively.

Most consonants can come in voiced and unvoiced versions (although, because English is weird, these are called "fortis" and "lensis" because we pronounce them with different amounts of energy). /b/ is /p/, but pronounced using the vocal chords. Only the nasal sounds, the "approximants", and /h/ don't have pairs in English, although /h/ DOES actually have a common voiced pair, and you can technically pronounce the others voiceless in some languages although it's very rare.

The /x/ sound, famously the end of the Scottish word "loch", is only found in Celtic accents (Scottish, Irish, Welsh) and in the South African accent (because of influence from Dutch). Other English speakers realize it as /k/.

The /r/ sound is weird. What /r/ technically represents is a trill, like in the Spanish <rr>. However, in English, that trill is very rare; what we use <r> for is called a "postalveolar approximant", [ɹ̠]. However, it is usually easier just to write the letter r, so that's how we transcribe it for English's IPA.

English also sometimes has what are called "syllabic consonants", which are consonants that can act as the center of a syllable in the place of a vowel. In English, these are mostly /l/, /m/, and /n/. For instance, the word "bottle" is technically pronounced [ˈbɑɾl̩] in General American English, and the same goes for words like "rhythm" and "button"; however, because this would complicate things a lot, phonologists consider it to include a very small vowel, so with the example of "bottle", it would be /ˈbɑtəl/ instead.

The vowels are a bit more weird than the consonants. Our alphabet was originally created for Latin, which only has ten vowel sounds, long and short a, e, i, o, and u (although technically the short vowels are /a ɛ ɪ ɔ ʊ/ instead of /a e i o u/, because fuck it I guess). However, we have a MUCH different vowel "inventory" in English - instead of the uniform 10 paired Latin vowels, in General American English we have anywhere from 11-13 vowels depending on your interpretation along with three diphthongs (combinations of two vowels used as a single vowel):

If you look at the British (Received Pronunciation) chart it's much different from that, which is why the accents are so distinct; however, Eternian is made with GA English in mind, so I'm just going to focus on that.

More notes:

/ə/ (a schwa, like in "uh"), /ɜ/ (very similar and hard to distinguish in writing), and /ʌ/ (something between an "uh" and an "ah"), are all very close to each other and sometimes interchangeable, especially between the first two.

/oʊ/ is usually simplified to /o/, and /eɪ/ is sometimes simplified to /e/, since the normal versions of those sounds don't show up so we don't have to make the difference clear.

A lot of accents in North America make /ɔ/ sounds (similar to "aw" or "au", like in "caught") into /ɑ/ sounds (the o in "hot").

Now, let's move on to the alphabet!

ETERNIAN GLYPHS & SIGILS

The "letters" of the Eternian alphabet, in my opinion, are better described using the more general term "glyph". This is because, while they are distinct shapes that mean specific sounds, they are used kind of artistically and variably within one large interconnected word-shape called a "sigil", much different than we would consider letters in the English alphabet. These glyphs are organized in words by lines starting at the basic shape of the sigil and stringing them together in order.

Eternian glyphs are split into two major categories that differ by shape: consonants and vowels.

CONSONANTS

The system of glyphs for Eternian consonants is actually very easy to remember, once you get the shapes down! Let's go back to the voiced/voiceless pairs. English has eight pairs of these, four plosives (made by quickly starting and stopping air with your mouth) and four fricatives (made by constantly moving air through your mouth). These eight pairs - along with another pair for /r/ and /l/ even though they aren't voiced/voiceless, because they're also closely related - make up most of the sounds in English and most of the consonant glyphs in Eternian. In each of these pairs, the voiceless (and /l/) have a basic, empty polygon shape; the voiced pair (and /r/) use the exact same shape, but with a dot in the middle. Like so:

Outside of this, English has four more vowels - /m/, /n/, /ŋ/, and /h/ - and two "semivowels", which can be used either as a vowel or a consonant. One of these semivowels, /j/ (the English y), is used as a vowel in Eternian, while the other, /w/, is treated as a consonant. Except for /w/, these remaining consonants are all marked by the fact that they’re solid color; they also all use the same basic shapes as many of the others, but aren’t related to the sounds which share their shape:

Pretty simple once you get the hang of it! Excuse the messiness; if you want a more precise rendering, you can reference the original release at the top.

I'm pretty sure this is all accurate, but there's one thing that seems weird to me. In English, <th> can be used to express either voiceless /θ/ or voiced /ð/. However, in Eternian, they gave us a "dh" glyph. I assume that this is meant to represent /ð/. However, in Wrong Hordak's "Smooch The Chef" apron, "the" is spelled with the glyph used for /θ/. But honestly I'm just assuming human error on that one, especially because /ð/ is very rare at the beginning of words except for articles or pronouns like the and these, most cases of <th> at the beginning of a word are /θ/ like in "thorn".

Now, for vowels!

VOWELS

Like I said earlier, this bit is much more complicated to get than the consonants, but luckily, this is actually much better for English than Latin letters!

Eternian vowel glyphs are divided, seemingly at random, into two subsets with a single exception. First are line-glyphs, which are formed by altering the connective line between two geometric glyphs. The others are circle-glyphs, the ones used for /ɛ/, /i/, /u/, and /o/. These function in the exact same way as the consonant glyphs, except that they are all circles where none of the consonants (except /n/) are.

There's a few issues here with transcribing words, but they mostly come out of simplifying English's horrible vowel fluidity. For instance, there's no distinct letter for writing the schwa /ə/, but it can be folded into the letter for /ʌ/. That, and combining /ɔ/ with /ɑ/, simplify 16 sounds into 13 letters. The last letter, /j/, is the other semivowel I mentioned above; <y> in English can be used for either /j/ or /aɪ/ and /ɪ/, but this letter specifically represents the /j/ sound like in "yes" or "yak".

BRINGING IT TOGETHER

This is where things get very interesting. Let's start with the basics, walking through how to write the word "Adora".

Eternian, as a writing system, is much more artistic by design than Latin, and words and sentences can be constructed in many ways which are all read the same way. Eternian words - better called "sigils" - are read right-to-left, like Hebrew, Arabic, or traditional Japanese and Chinese. We form the sigils starting with a line sloping down in that direction book-ended with dots. The exact angle and length doesn't matter, but the right side is always noticeably higher than the left, like this:

We then add two additional decorative lines built off of that base, which end in dots:

These flourishes can be curved, geometric, or a mix of both, and often inform a lot about the "personality" of both a sigil and its writer, and can distinguish one sigil from another. They're like the sigil's signature. They can be any shape or length, but never overlap with themselves or other lines.

The next step is to begin adding the sounds. Much like the flourishes, these are constructed differently for every sigil, although again they are all read from right-to-left and the symbols are placed with that in mind. These are strung down from the sigil's base, connecting with straight lines. Let's start by placing the a-sound in "Adora" near the right-side edge of the line (this is the /ʌ/ line-glyph, like the u in "fun"):

Because the /ʌ/ glyph is a line, it replaces the normal connecting line. Let's finish this syllable line with the /d/ glyph:

...and then add another line with the glyphs for /orʌ/:

Generally, when a cluster ends with a line-glyph, it connects back to the base line. Clusters not at the end cannot end on a line-glyph (though I'm not sure about what to do for line-glyph-only words like "I" or "a" - perhaps the base line is changed, the line curves in an arc, or it ends at the changed portion?). Additionally, line-glyphs are always turned in the direction they're going - the beginning and ending /ʌ/ glyphs are flipped from each other, because the ending glyph is turned upwards going towards the base line while the beginning is stemming from it.

The important thing to remember is that sigils can be formed in a variety of ways - the flourishes, line angles, how you structure the syllables, all of these are dependent on the writer, so long as they follow those general rules. I constructed that sigil “AD.ORA”, but it could just as easily be “ADO.RA”, and in larger words there’s much more potential for structural changes.

Sigils in a sentence are connected through lines which meet the word next to each of the flourishes, and which bend to fit the shape of the sentence. Sentences are not read in any specific direction, but words are clustered in aesthetically pleasing ways and sentence order is shown by these connecting lines. However, The initial word in a sentence only has a line connecting on its left side, the final word only has a line on its right side, and words in between connect to the previous word on their right and the next word on their left.

Let's try extending this to a simple sentence - "Adora is She-Ra." We already have the She-Ra sigil from canon, so we just need to connect them with the word "is".

First, let's write the next word, below and to the left:

And connect the two with a line:

And then repeat with the "She-Ra" sigil.

...and finally...

There we go! You've officially written a sentence using Eternian glyphs! I hope you have fun with it! If you have any questions feel free to shoot me an ask. Thanks for reading!

#she ra #spop #she ra and the princesses of power #first ones writing #conlang #calligraphy

[chickensarentcheap]

Never Gonna Be Alone- Chapter 5

Title: Neighbours

Warnings: none

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y, @alievans007, @innerpaperexpertcloud, @tragiclyhip

The ‘to do list’ is long and lengthy but not unmanageable.

Inside and outside decorations, picking out a tree and having it dropped off the next day, last minute presents and stocking stuffers to grab, a massive grocery list that includes the usual staples and the ‘extras’ that always make their appearance at Christmas time. The convenience of a big city is one thing she’s always missed; malls with everything you need under one roof, strips of your favorite, eclectic little shops, delivery for everything under the sun. Never having to own a car; Uber and taxis summoned with just one phone call, the subway just a block away. The younger Esme...the one fresh off a shitty first marriage...had loved every second in New York City. That spacious loft -with its exposed brick walls and industrial lighting and Juliet balcony- in Brooklyn, the Broadway shows she’d attend, the high end shops like Tiffany’s, Chanel, and Prada that she’d do little more than browse in; dreaming about all the things she would buy if she was ever fortunate enough to have money to burn. Trips to Central Park; reading a book or sipping a latte while sitting on the edge of the fountain or treating herself to lunch at Tavern on the Green. She’d never been bored; filling every minute of her free time with something new to experience. Taking the subway into different ethnic areas; trying new foods and drink and buying newly discovered -to her- spices and intriguing ingredients to try out at home. And while she’d been alone, she’d never been lonely; always finding ways to keep herself busy.

While it’s nice to come back and spend time in the BIg Apple, she no longer misses it with such intensity. THAT Esme..the one who’d lived in that loft apartment and who’d window shop at the high end retailers...no longer exists. She died almost thirteen years ago; her life coming to end on the Sultana Kamal Bridge. It had been time; out with the old, in with the new. And there’d been something so incredibly empowering about it; never returning to either the city or Colorado and having her step father pack up the necessities and ship them to her. Many people would consider it foolish; throwing a somewhat stable and comfortable life away for something so different. A country on the other side of the world, a man she barely knew yet her heart was certain she was in love with, a tiny and cramped apartment outside of Sydney with barely any clothes in the closet and only second hand, mismatched furniture to decorate the place. But it had turned out to be everything she’d wanted; a change in pace and scenery and a life she never knew she was missing out on. That man she barely knew outside of sex quickly proving to be the love of her life; not just a lover, eventual spouse and baby daddy, but her best friend. The one and only person she truly trusted; who’d been so willing to give up his life to save hers and made her feel safe and protected...and LOVED...in ways she’d never experienced before.

Australia quickly became home. Despite the lingering issues from Dhaka -the slow healing process and the financial issues and the worry of retaliation IF word ever got out that he had survived- they’d been happy. Not needing much; enjoying those evenings on the couch, watching television and eating ice cream right out of the container, those trips -as a couple and then newlyweds and eventually with a tiny Millie in her daddy’s arms, the long and quiet -and often post coital- conversations that had become their norm. They’d gone through a hell of an ordeal together; forming a bond that other people simply couldn’t understand. Both of them could have easily died that day; Tyler from his injuries, her due to the decision she’d made to stick around in an effort to keep him alive. After that, they’d sworn to never take a single second for granted; enjoying the ‘getting to know you’ process even as a newly married couple and her with a baby growing in her belly. It hadn’t been a conventional start to things; those five days in that cramped and dirty hotel room in Dhaka followed by an unexpected little bundle and her decision to give up her old life. But it had worked. THEY had worked. Despite all the odds stacked against them and everything that said they shouldn’t. The ordeal they’d survived giving them an appreciation of each other; putting down that foundation of respect and mutual awe that everything else could -and would- be built upon.

As amazing as it all sounds -finding the love of your life, discovering your own slice of paradise, starting a family- it’s work. Love and everything that comes with it is a lot of work, in fact. It’s arguments over both stupid shit and important issues; it’s hurt and anger and bitterness due to miscommunication or simply not taking the others feelings into considering. It’s learning how the other works and functions so you can be the one to provide comfort, stability, and aid; patience and deep rooted concern and the desire to keep them safe and healthy driving you.

Lust is one thing; immense physical attraction extremely important and definitely an added bonus. But at the end of the day, it’s other forms of intimacy that keep things alive and well; the simple act of holding hands while sitting on the couch or even driving in the car, the unexpected hugs and kisses, the little things you do for one another without even thinking, the teasing and the laughter and the conversations. It’s one thing to love someone and physically WANT them, it’s another to actually ENJOY them; their company and their smile and the sound of their voice and the way they cheer you up even on the worst days. How they talk you through hard times and how quick they are to dry your tears and want to make things right; willing to do anything and everything within their power to make you happy and to feel wanted and appreciated. It’s all those things that keep things going even when they feel like they’re falling apart.

******

“Mum!” TJ calls, as he bounds down the stairs and through the immense space that make up the living and dining areas; an easy and clean flow directly into the counter. “Check it out! You gotta see my outfit?”

With a mug of tea pressed to her lips, she glances up from the spiral notebook in front of her. It’s one of many that usually take up residence in one of the kitchen drawers; a different colour cover indicating which kid it is assigned to, two for things that are needed when it comes to household items and repairs, another for things like groceries and personal products. She’s always been organized, but something ‘snapped’ over the course of the last five years; an obsessive of sorts when it comes to keeping affairs in order.

“What the heck are you wearing?” she inquires, as her oldest son sprints through the living and dining area and then uses his socks to allow him to slide the rest of the way. An almost victorious and proud grin on his face when he comes to a stop against the island. His outfit of choice is an eyebrow raiser; jogging pants enormous and incredibly baggy, a hoodie at least four sizes too big, a black knit beanie on his head.

“It’s my New York City look. For the mean streets. You like it?”

She grins and sips her tea. “The mean streets, huh? There’s nothing quite as dark and dangerous as the vicious and cold, dark alleys of Gramercy Park.”

“It’s bad ass. New York City. Maybe not exactly where we live, but…”

“You’re pretty far removed from the bad assery of The Big Apple, but I admire your spirit. If I ever find myself getting mugged or having to walk down a dark street at two in the morning, I know who to call.”

“I’d protect you, mum. I don’t care how big and bad someone is. I’d kick their ass for you. Or at least try to.”

“And THAT is why you’re my favorite. Although don’t tell your brothers and sisters; that’ll cause too much drama.”

“Your secret is safe with me. OUR secret.” He slings an arm around her shoulder and presses a kiss to her cheek. “What’cha doing?”

“Lists. One of many. Things we need in the house and things we need to do.” She eyes him from head to toe, mug against her lips. "Is that your dad’s hoodie? AND his pants?”

“He let me have them. I asked if he had anything old I could wear; that he wasn’t going to use anymore. This is what he gave me.”

“You do realize he’s more than a foot taller than you and about...I don’t know...a hundred pounds heavier.”

“I weigh a hundred pounds now. Dad’s like one eighty.”

“He was one eighty five when he got out of the hospital. Five years ago. He’s two ten now. Soaking wet. And you’re five feet? Since when?”

“Since yesterday. I had Tanner measure me.”

“You have a lot of damn nerve, kid. Being only half an inch shorter than me. At TEN.”

“I share DNA with a giant. Dad’s six three. I’ve got more of his genes than yours.”

“Yes, I know. I see more and more of those genes every day. You’re looking more like him all the time. And don’t get me wrong, that’s a good thing. A VERY good thing. But five feet? Already? What the hell?”

“I can’t help it. Blame genetics.”

“You’re going to be massive. You’re probably going to be taller than your dad. And if you keep lifting weights like you do and you start going heavier as you get older, you’ll be huge by sixteen. A good huge. It’s depressing. You’re depressing me.”

“Sorry, mummy.” He kisses her cheek once more, then joking places his forearm on the top of her head. “You’re going to make a good arm rest. Thanks for being absurdly short.”

“Don’t be a smart ass. I brought you into this world, I can take you out.”

“Dad says the tiniest ones are always the most feisty. I think that’s why he fell in love with you; you’re little but you don’t take any shit. Even from him.”

“He likes a challenge, that’s for sure.”

Sipping her tea, she watches him as he heads for the fridge; rummaging through it before coming up with a container of some of the baked goods Tanner had already blessed the family with, and a bottle of Gatorade. He even walks like his father; those gigantic feet and that long, slightly bow legged gait. TJ is more awkward; stuck at the stage between still being a child, yet quickly nearing his teenage years. And he’s become far more mature since hitting double digits; still possessing that extremely active and almost hyper personality, but prone to more serious and thoughtful moments. And at times he looks years older; when his eyes darken and his lips set into a thin, serious line and his brow furrows. So much of his dad exists in him. Both inside AND out. And that smile; the one that crinkles the corners of his eyes and slightly wrinkles the bridge of his nose. It’s on his face now; as he opens the lid on the container of treats and sets it -and his drink- on the counter top before fetching the pot of tea from the stove and warming up the contents of her mug.

“You certainly are my best son,” she chides. It’s only PARTLY a joke. Although at times he can be quite the handful and his ability to regulate his emotions and temper can cause issues both at home and at school, he’s a wonderful kid; loving so deeply and profoundly.

“Tanner wanted me to give you this,” he reaches into the pocket of the hoodie and pulls out a folded sheet of printer paper. “Things he needs. For his baking. He’s really good, huh? At the whole baking and cooking thing? Like, INSANELY good.”

“He’s quite the talent,” Esme agrees. “But so are YOU. You’ve got your own things you’re amazing at.”

“But not like him. He’s crazy smart and he can play the guitar and sing and all this baking and making dinner and stuff. He’s like a dude Martha Stewart! You know what he should do? Start a Youtube channel. People would LOVE him. People are suckers for a cute kid.”

“Well, you know Tanner; how nervous and anxious and shy he gets. You should bring it up to him. If anyone can talk him into something, it’s his big brother. He idolizes you.”

“I don’t know why. I’m not THAT great.”

“I don’t know. You’re pretty damn awesome in my books. And you’re a really good big brother. You should talk to him. He’d be willing to try, I bet. Maybe it’s something you could do together. He’d love that. He loves spending time with you. And I know it’s been hard; him going to a different school.”

“Yeah, it hasn’t been the best thing that’s ever happened,” TJ laments, and helps himself to one of the peanut butter and chocolate squares in the container. “It’s been four years and I STILL miss him. I loved having him in my class. And I loved hanging out with him at lunch and at recess. And sitting with him on the bus.”

“It was a hard decision to make. But it was the best decision. For him.”

“Yeah, my school isn’t exactly an intellectual wonderland. He’s better off where he is. With other brainiacs like him. But still, I do miss him.”

“I’m sure he misses you too. But you get a lot of time together. At home and stuff. And I always love Fridays; the bus dropping him off at your school and you guys coming to see me at the store. Hanging out until I close. Hands down my favorite day of the week.”

TJ smiles. “Mine too.”

“And I thought I was organized,” she comments, as she studies Tanner’s very neat and tidy list.

“He’s kinda anal, huh? About some things? I don’t mean that in a bad way. Just that he’s very…”

“Particular?”

TJ nods. “You know, I wish he’d see himself the way I see him. He’s always worried that he’s weird and that people don’t like him because of it. He always talks about how his brain isn’t like everyone else’s and that he wishes it was. You know what I wish? That more people were like Tanner. Because he’s talented and he’s unique and he sees the world so differently than everyone else. I know he struggles with some stuff, but it’s not a bad thing; him being the way he is. Sometime I think he’s better off than all of us.”

“Unfortunately, self hate seems to be a genetic trait as well. Who does that remind you of? Who else sees themselves in a bad light?”

“Yeah, dad is pretty good at that. Not liking who he is. I don’t why; I think he can be kinda awesome.”

“I think he can too. He’s just had a rough time. For a LONG time. He’s working on it. On a lot of things. But you know what’s really amazing at? Being a dad. I’m pretty lucky. I landed myself a pretty incredible guy. He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me. And as for Tanner, maybe you should tell him what you just told me. Because I guarantee you, if he heard that from his big brother? It would mean the world to him. He needs to hear stuff like that. Tell him, okay?” She rubs her palm in slow circles in the middle of his back. “It would make his day. Probably his whole year.”

“I will. I’ll tell him. Do you think he’ll live alone? Away from you and dad?”

“I don’t know,” Esme admits, and cupping her mug in both hands, turns around and leans back against the countertop. “Your dad and I talk about it from time to time. If Tanner will ever get to that stage. If he doesn’t…” she shrugs. “...he doesn’t. I mean, he could live in the pool house. He’d be close enough to home so if he did need help, we’d be right there.”

“What if he lived with me? If we got a place together? When we’re old enough, of course. Say when we’re nineteen. And I’ve got a good job. Like in the military or something.”

“That’s a lot to take on, Teej. A career like that and your brother. Would you want to do that?”

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s Tanner. He’s my baby brother. And not just any baby brother. We were made at the same time. We came out only a few minutes apart. I spent nine months with him; inside of you. Why wouldn’t I want to be with him?”

“A lot will change over the next nine, ten years. You might get tired of him by then.”

“I am NEVER getting tired of him. He’s my brother. I love him. And if it gives you and dad a break after taking care of him for so long, that’s good enough for me.”

“You are something else, Baby-Man. You really are. And I mean that in the best way possible.”

“I know you do. And I like that you still call me that. Even if I AM almost taller than you.”

“You know, you’ve been so cute and helpful these last few days, that I will ignore your cheap shot. You really ARE your dad. Head to toe. Inside and out. Facial expressions and everything. It’s freaky.” She turns and helps herself to one of the treats; a chocolate concoction with marshmallows and coconut inside and a coating made from crushed up Frosted Flakes. “You know, I craved these for my entire pregnancy with you and Tanner. Your dad used to make them for me. Dozens at a time. He’d even get up at three am to do it. Or to go get tacos. That’s probably why you like Mexican food so much.”

TJ’s eyes widen. “Dad used to bake? At three am?”

“At all hours of the day. He’s actually really good at it. These were my favourite. He made them for me; my first birthday after we got married. We had just had Millie and we didn’t have a lot of money to throw around but he still managed to make it special. Australian wildflowers, a picnic on the beach, and these. It was pretty awesome. One of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. Spent with my favorite human.”

“Dad really DOES have his moments.”

“Yeah, he really does.” Esme smiles, and takes a bite of the square. “You know, your grandma used to make these things.”

“Like mean, awful grandma or grandma Adeline?”

“Grandma Adeline. Your dad’s mom. She was quite the baker. Tanner must have inherited that from her. I know Declan got her red hair.”

“That must have been really hard. On dad. Her dying when he was little.”

“It was.” She sips at her tea and picks up the long discarded pen; absentmindedly doodling in the notebook as she speaks. “ It caused a lot of issues for him. It was pretty painful for him.”

“He still doesn’t like to talk about her.”

“It hurts. Even now. But he’s coming around. It’s not as hard for him anymore.”

“Is it true that grandpa used to beat on him? I heard him and Uncle Koen talking about it. A couple years ago. Dad seemed pretty upset. He normally doesn’t cry in front of anyone BUT you. He was kinda emotional.”

“It is true. Unfortunately. Your grandpa was a drunk and he was a narcissist and he hated his wife for having a child. It took the attention from him. Which I know sounds really weird and twisted. But that’s what happened. And when she was alive, he couldn’t stand her loving on your dad and spending time with him. So he took it out on her; beating her and saying mean things to her. Your dad used to have to listen. Sometimes grandpa would make your dad watch. Said it was to teach him how to ‘treat a woman’ and make them ‘learn their place.”

“I’m glad dad didn’t listen. For your sake. And his. I think you’d beat his ass if he ever did stuff like that to you.”

“I definitely would. And he knows it too. But, your dad isn’t like that. He isn’t the type to treat women like that. I know he has his issues, but THAT? He would never, ever, stoop to that level. It’s just not the kind of person he is.”

“Do you think that’s why dad DOES have the issues he does? The brain stuff? Because of how he got treated as a kid?”

“I don’t think it’s the only reason why, but it definitely added to it. You’ve been asking a lot of questions lately. About mental health stuff. What’s going on? You’re ten. You don’t need to worry about this. Your dad is fine. He’s doing great. A lot better than anyone thought he would. So why…?”

“I gave him shit,” TJ says, then gives an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I mean ‘crap’. I gave him crap.”

“You gave your dad crap about something? That’s pretty bold. What did he do that pissed you off?

“ I told him it was wrong. That he went away. To work. That he shouldn’t have gone.”

“TJ, why would you…?”

“You wouldn’t have done it. Given him crap for it. And I know you wanted to. I know you lied. When you told him you were okay with it. You didn’t tell him the truth, mum. You just told him what he wanted to hear.”

“Sometimes we do that,” Esme reluctantly admits. “When we love someone and we don’t want to ruffle feathers. Your dad’s come a long way. He used to be gone all the time. He was off doing jobs more than he was home with us. And I know you probably don’t remember all of that because you were so young; the missed birthdays and anniversaries. The time he couldn’t get home for Christmas. You were only three, but…”

“I was little but I DO remember. And you always acted like you were okay with it. But then he’d leave and you’d be a wreck. Just like you were this time.”

“I wasn’t a wreck. I was nervous and I was worried and…”

“Mum, you don’t have to lie to me. I heard you crying. When you thought all of us were asleep. I KNOW you were having a bad time. With dad being gone.”

“You know what? You’re right. I was. Normally I’m okay with it; I can handle him going away as long as he stays out of harm's way. But knowing he’d walked into it? It DID bother me. That he’d been so willing to help out Anil. Especially after what happened the last time he went and got his hands dirty.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell him that? That you didn’t want him doing it? That you didn’t want him going away?”

“It’s not that easy, TJ. Sometimes it’s not my place. I can’t actually tell him what he can’t and can’t do. In the same way he can’t do that with me. And when Anil called and said he needed the help…”

“He should have said no. Anil knows tons of people. Why did he need dad? He could have called someone else.”

“Your dad is very good at what he does. Or what he DID do. One of the best. And I know it sounds strange; to be proud of a job like that. To be so willing to put your life on the line for people you don’t even know. But when Anil called and needed his help, your dad couldn’t exactly say no.”

“Yes, he could have,” TJ insists. “He promised. That he’d never go away again. That he’d never go back out there after the bad guys. He promised ALL of us. And totally broke that.”

“Sometimes it happens. Sometimes he can’t help it. Sometimes…”

“Stop making excuses for him. When one of us screws up, you don’t let us give you excuses. So why do you let dad give them? There’s no reason he had to go. At all. He should have told Anil to get someone else.”

“You know, we are going to have to agree to disagree on this. I said it was okay. If he went. There’s nothing more to talk about. So let’s just drop this, okay? You don’t know what’s talked about; between your dad and I. We keep you guys out of it. For reasons exactly like this.”

“You lied to dad. When you told him you were okay with it. You weren’t. You were far from okay. And I told him that. That you had a really hard time. That you didn’t deserve to go through that. It’s not fair, mummy. That he goes and does stuff like that. I don’t care that Anil needed. WE need him. Us kids. He’s our dad. What happens if he gets killed? Then we have no dad.”

“That’s not going to happen. He’s not going to get killed.”

“He will if he keeps doing stupid shit like this. You should just be honest with him. Tell him how you really feel about him going away. ‘Cause if he thinks it’s okay, he’s going to keep doing it more and more. And then something really bad is going to happen. Worse than last time. And I don’t want that. I don’t want him going away and…” TJ’s voice cracks with emotion. “...I don’t want him going away and never coming home.”

“Tyler...hey…” she lays a hand on the side of his face “...it’s okay...just take a breath and…”

“It’s not okay. It’s never been okay. It’s never going to be okay. And if he goes away and something happens to him, I’ll hate him forever. If something bad happens to him and he never comes back, I’ll never forgive him. For doing that to us. For doing that to you.”

“Okay, I know you’re upset. And I love you so much for wanting to protect me. But right now, you just need to calm down and take it easy, alright? I know you’re going through a lot. I know puberty is starting to come and kick your ass and it’s making everything seem so much worse and…”

“Just tell him,” TJ implores, and noisily sniffles before wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his hoodie. “Just tell him you don’t want him to go. Tell him, mummy. So he doesn’t think it’s okay to leave again. Because he’ll go and something horrible will happen. And then we don’t have a dad. And we’ll barely have a mum. ‘Cause it’ll kill you. If something goes wrong and he doesn’t come back.”

“You need to to just breathe, Baby-Man,” she steps in front of him and takes his face in her hands. “ Just breathe. Everything is alright. Daddy’s home and he’s safe and he’s not going anywhere. It was just this one time. He won’t have to do that again.”

“You need to tell him. That you don’t want him going. Please, mummy. Please tell him.”

“Okay,” she promises, and draws him into a hug. Heart aching at the realization that her arms can no longer completely wrap around him; shoulders and back both broad and strong. “Everything’s alright, TJ.” She lays a hand on the back of his head and draws it down to her shoulder, the other rubbing his back comfortingly. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him how I feel; about him going away. About how ALL of us feel. Alright?”

He nods.

“Why don’t you go and get some fresh air,” she suggests. “It will make you feel better.”

“You promise you’ll talk to him?”

“I promise.” She presses a kiss to his cheek, then holds him out at arms length. “Maybe afterwards we can take the littles for a walk? You know how much Takota loves when you pull him in the sled. It’ll be good; to go and get a bit of exercise. Sound like a plan?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“You are getting so big. How do you grow up so fast? I remember finding out about you and your brother. I remember when you were born. All seven pounds of you. Now look. In a month's time, you WILL be taller than me. You’re already wearing mens size nine shoes. You’re TEN.”

“That’s what happens when your dad’s a giant, I guess.”

“You used to always call him that when you were little. You’d tell everyone that your dad was a giant. He probably seemed that way, huh? Probably seemed ten feet tall and bulletproof.”

“He still does. Well, maybe not the bullet proof part. We know THAT’S not true.”

“I know it bothers you. What happened back then. I know it’s not an easy thing to get over. That you came so close to losing him. And I’m sorry. That you had to go through all of that. I really am. If there was any way to go back and time and change it, I would. In a heartbeat. You know that, right?”

“I do, mummy.”

“Your dad loves you so much, TJ. You have no idea HOW much. When you were born and the doctor gave you to him? I’ve never seen him THAT emotional. Not even with Millie and she was his very first. After Austin. And he cried like a baby when he got to hold her. But you? I can’t even begin to describe what that was like for him. A son. After losing his first one. He was so happy and so in love with you. And that’s never changed. It never will.”

“I just don’t want to lose him. I don't know why he even takes the chance. Why does he go knowing that he might not come back? Doesn’t he love us enough to stay home?”

“Of course he does. And I WILL talk to him. Just cut him some slack, okay? The last five years haven’t been easy on him either. And he’s done so well. Better than anyone thought he would. But it’s a process; dealing with everything in his past and letting it go. So just give him a chance, alright? Can you do that? For me?”

“For you, yeah.”

“You’re such a good boy. I love you so much. More than I could ever tell you. And you ARE so much like your dad. And that’s a good thing.” She places one last kiss on his cheek and draws him into another hug. “A very good thing.”

******

The front door clicking open and a familiar Louisiana drawl calling out a greeting sets off a flurry of commotion; a mixture of both heavy and light footsteps pounding down the stairs, dogs scampering and barking, excited giggles and happy shrieks and rambling sentences in tiny voices. The kids have all become quite fond of Desmond (Desi, or Des, as Esme lovingly refers to him as) in their three years of spending time in New York City. A former University of Alabama football star, he’d found himself relocating when he’d met a very wealthy -and very much older- sports agent a decade ago; abandoning his dreams of playing profession in favour of a new existence in a new city. His husband -and admittedly the love of his life- had passed away just over a year ago. Leaving him with the elegantly and fabulously decorated brownstone in Gramercy, a small fleet of high end cars, closets full of designer apparel, and a bank account that will never run dry. He’s an enormous man; six foot seven and weighing close to three hundred pounds, most of solid muscle. Intimidating at first blush, but a complete teddy bear; compassionate and empathetic and possessing a heart even bigger than his body. And he’s hilarious and flamboyant; zero filter, exceptional taste in clothes, a love for expensive cosmetics and considerable talent in applying them, and a penchant for anything sparkly.

“You realize your front door was unlocked, don’t you?” Desi inquires as he journeys into the kitchen; monstrous hands curled around a giggling Takota’s ankles as he dangles him upside down. “Any wackadoodle could just walk in here. I know this is Gramercy Park, but it’s STILL The Big Apple. This isn’t the safe and quiet little sparrow fart town in Australia you call home. Where all you have to worry about is kangaroos and koalas and spiders the size of dinner plates.”

“I’ll have you know that koalas can be very sketchy; we have one in the tree in the front yard that hisses and spits and throws shit at you.”

“Jack!” Takota reminds her in between hiccups. “His name is Jack!”

“Well Jack is an asshole and he needs to relocate,” she says, and pats him on the bum and squeezes the cheeks; fingers moving to his sides and tickling him until both the giggles and the hiccups increase. “And it’s the dingos you have to worry about. They’re mean.”

“Dingos eat bad girls and boys,” Takota says, smoothing down his hair and his shirt when he’s put on his feet. “That’s what daddy said.”

“If that was true, we’d only have two or three kids instead of seven. Go and play. So I can talk to Desi.”

“Talk to him about what?”

“Top secret adult only stuff. Here," She snags one of the sugary goodies from the container on the island and hands it to him. “We’re going to go out soon. For a little walk. Get some fresh air. Make sure you pee BEFORE we leave. I don’t want to get you all bundled up and then have you tell me you gotta go. Hear me?”

“I can’t make any promises mumma,” Takota says, and then pops the treats into his mouth and rushes off.

“That kid is way too cute for his own good,” Desi declares. “Gonna be a heartbreaker, you know. Like his mom.”

“For the record, I’ve never broken any hearts. Well, except for the time in grade two when I didn’t want to be Freddie George’s Valentine. He just wasn’t my type; he smelled like tapioca and desperation.”

“You had a first husband, did you not? Must have broken his heart. Or you wouldn’t be on your second husband.”

“My first husband broke my jaw, my nose, more than one rib, and put me in the ICU. He’s lucky it’s only his heart that got ripped out. And what’s up with that hat?” She gestures towards the fedora atop her friend’s head. “You look like a pimp.”

“If I was a pimp, you, my little ho…” he plucks the hat from his head and places it upon hers. “...would be better dressed.”

“What is wrong with how I’m dressed? I dress like this all the time.”

“And you’re still married? Is he blind or did he hit his head too hard one too many times or…?”

“I’ll have you know, my husband doesn’t care about the packaging. Just what’s underneath. Case in point, I once bought this really nice and quite expensive baby doll nightie; totally vintage and gorgeous and this shimmering black and pink. I don’t think he even noticed. It took him like five seconds to get it off me. IF that. He does not give a shit about the wrapping paper. Just the gift that’s underneath.”

“And you, my cute, teeny little munchkin, are the gift that keeps on giving. And you must give VERY well. Seven kids and all. But baggy sweat pants and a huge tee and a way too big Quicksilver hoodie? Oh honey, no. Just no. No, no, nooo.”

“If it makes you feel any better, these sweats are Fendi.”

“That does NOT change the fact they are joggers and you should NOT be wearing joggers on the streets of New York City. You lived here before; has your little, beautiful brain forgotten what it’s like to dress here? We need to get you some retail therapy with old Desi. He’ll hook you up. A little refinement, a little sophistication, a little bling. I got you, girl.”

“Your idea of a little bling is a ten thousand dollar belt you tried to talk me into buying last year. Where would I wear a ten thousand dollar belt?”

“I don’t care if you use it in the bedroom. If your husband resorts to employing it to trap you to the headboard or if he uses it to tie your hands behind your back. That belt was spectacular and you deserve spectacular. We WILL do this; a shopping trip. Chanel, Gucci, maybe some Ralph Lauren if we feel like slumming.”

“Where am I going to wear that type of stuff? I can’t wear Gucci while I’m cleaning out the goat pen or Chanel when I’m gutting a chicken coup. And I certainly can’t wear it out shopping.”

“Not to your favourite haunt no. Definitely out of place in Target.”

“There is nothing wrong with shopping at Target.”

“There is so much wrong with it. I’ll be here all day if we start.”

“Besides, we don’t have high falutin places like Gucci where I live, remember? You’ve been there.”

“Charming little place. Reminds me of some of the towns down south I used to hit up. But girl, you fill that closet of yours with the finest of apparel. Stick with me, I’ll treat you right. And speaking of being treated right, I got the appointment for you; Christmas Eve Eve, two o’clock Sally Hershberger.”

“You are a knight in shiny, blingy armor. You really DO have strings to pull.”

“I may have had to promise some good times...sexy good times...to the receptionist. But, that’s a small price to pay for you. I’m willing to take one for the team. Or should I say, give one for the team.”

“And as much as it's a dream of mine to go to Sally, and seeing how my hair really DOES need some TLC…”

“Oh no. No. Hell no. There’s a but coming. And Desmond Brownell does not like buts. Unless it’s Idris Elba’s. And your husband’s.”

“I don’t know if I can go through with it. Not the appointment; I can go through with THAT. But cutting my hair? As short as the picture I showed you?”

“Girl, are you crazy. You’d be a knockout with a cute little side swept bob. What drugs are you on? Not that you’re ugly or anything the way you are now. I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers or anything like that. But your hair...your whole mom thing with the constant ponytails or messy buns...it needs help. It’s screaming for help. Let me help it. Let me help YOU.”

“Just cutting it? THAT short. That’s not going to go over well.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tyler is kind of old fashioned.”

“Old fashioned? You two spent five days banging right after you met. You got knocked up out of wedlock. He proposed in the bathroom. Nothing old fashioned about any of that.”

“When it comes to certain things, he’s very...particular. Especially when it comes to my hair. He likes it long. LOVES it long. I cut it up to my shoulders once and he bitched about it for TWO years. And let’s not get into when I got bangs or when I dyed it blonde.”

“I can’t say I blame him for the bangs thing. You’re way too cute and those big brown eyes do not deserve the attention taken away by fringe. But the bob...girl...that’s fierce. You’d rock it.”

“Maybe just some highlights. Some red ones. He did really like when I colored my hair red. I can get those, a trim, a blow out.”

“You can go to Cheapy Haircuts for Us for that nonsense. This is Sally Hershberger. You are not going to her and getting just a blowout or a trim or highlights. You are going big, or going home. The husband will deal. He’d love you with no hair. It’s no secret he thinks the sun shines out of your ass. Which, I have to admit, looks fabulous in Fendi sweats.”

“Why do you think he bought them? He knows what he’s doing. He bought them for the same reason he buys me yoga pants. And I don’t even do yoga.”

“He’s an ass man. I can appreciate that. And speaking of appreciate. Desmond Brownell would like to do some appreciating right about now. Is he home? The better half? Is he in there working out?” He casts a glance towards the home gym that sits off the kitchen. “More importantly, is he in there working out shirtless? ‘Cause if he is, I’ll gladly take him a glass of water so that fine ass specimen doesn’t get parched or dehydrated. I’ll even rub down those sore, beautiful muscles. I’ve got some very top shelf massage oil at home. Smells like pecan and coconut. Unless he’s more a citrusy type. If so, I can run to the store right quick.”

“First off, you’d traumatize him. He’s as straight as they come. I know that breaks your heart to hear it, but…”

“How does he know he’s straight if he’s never ventured out of straight-hood? Unless he has and didn’t like it….”

“He hasn’t tried it. He likes women. LOVES them actually. Maybe a little too much when he was younger. He is NOT bi. Sorry.”

“But I am. So are you. And you’re damn cute and he’d probably give it a try if you talked him into a threesome.”

“Yeah, right,” Esme laughs. “That would never happen.”

“Do right by your best friend. Or are you worried he’d leave you for me? What’s the old saying? Once you go black you never…”

“My husband is straight. Very straight. And no. He’s not working out. He’s not even home. He’s out with Tanner.”

“The breakfast date, that’s right. Little T couldn’t stop talking about that. Loves his daddy, that’s for sure. You know, that kid is damn talented. Those goodies brought over and that soup? Damnnn. Move over Emeril. Little T gonna set the world on fire.”

“He’s something else that kid. He’s...incredible. There aren’t even words that can properly describe him. But, he IS having issues.”

“Uh oh. I don’t like the sounds of that.”

“He’s bored. At school. And we specifically sent him there to challenge him. It’s been great. He’s been thriving and his grades are amazing and the teachers and the kids love him. But he’s so advanced and so smart that they’re going to run out of ways to teach him. Which means we’re going to run out of options for him. Which also means, I’m going to become a heavy drinker and eat my weight in these!” She nods down at the container of sweets in front of her and pops one into her mouth. “What are we going to do? There’s only so many options where we are.”

“Homeschool? You’ve got a degree. You’re smart. You can do it.”

“No, I can’t. I’ve got a business. Two businesses, actually. And six other kids. Besides, he is way smarter than I was at that age. He’s probably smarter than I am. What am I going to do? For him?”

“You know where there ARE a lot of options…”

“We are NOT moving here. Tyler would never survive. This place? New York City? It’s not him. And I have to think about that too. What’s also best for him. We’re happy where we are. Insanely happy. Moving here is not an option. No matter how much I miss you.”

“Guess you’ve got a lot of thinking and research to do. It’ll work out. Always does.”

“Have I mentioned how much I love your optimism? And how much I’ve missed you? Or how much I love you?"

“You can mention it as many times as you like. My ego likes that shit.” He takes her face in his hands and drops a kiss on the top of her head. “We still on for dinner tonight? I’m still bringing Italian? And the wine?”

“We’re still on. Tanner is going to make the salad and the garlic bread.”

“We gon’ be eating like damn kings.”

“Are we still on for the other thing? You know; the thing we talked about? When Tyler and I take the kids to pick out a tree?”

“I got you, don’t you worry. I will let myself in and grab the stuff from the attic and sneak out. I also got the email; that ‘thing’ for Addie arrived. You know what I’m talking about?”

“The doll? I didn’t think it would arrive in time. How does it look?”

“Exactly like her. Now, you want to get a head start on the wrapping? You know I love me some gift wrapping.”

“You can do whatever your little heart desires.”

A slow grin spreads across his face. “That is what I like to hear. Now, I’m going to the gym. There’s a Latino hottie there I’ve been trying to talk up for weeks. You behave. Stay out of the wine. At least until later.”

“You gonna wear your ‘Bama t-shirt? The one that’s two sizes too small and shows off your muscles?”

“Sweetie pie, you don’ read my mind. But have you been checking out my muscles?”

“I have a ‘thing’ for muscles. And yours are very nice. Besides, I’m married. Not dead. Tyler’s going to be upset. That he’s not the only one you’re crushing on.”

“You just put his little mind at ease. Tell him he gives me the biggest woodie out of them all.”

“That’ll stroke his ego for sure. See you later? Six o’clock?”

“I’ll be here. With bells and bling on.” He presses a kiss to each of her cheeks and pulls her into a hug; tightly squeezing. “You’re just so wee and cute. I could just scoop you up and put you in my pocket. See you later, gator.” He removes the hat from her head, affectionately tousles her hair before heading out of the kitchen. “And do me a favour? Put proper clothes on for dinner. I can’t be dining with someone in sweats. Desmond Brownell has standards to uphold.”

“Desmond Brownwell needs to remember the cherry cheesecake for dessert.”

“Oh bless your heart. Thinking I need to be reminded. See ya, pip squeak.”

“You and you tall people. So cruel to us little folk.”

“Little folk?” He smirks. “You’re like one of those things in Lord of the Rings. A damn hobbit. Matter of fact, I’mma call you Frodo from now on.”

“You do that, I’ll sneak into your house and kill you in your sleep.”

Desmond laughs. “I’d like to see you try, short stuff. Later.”

“Later,” she calls, shaking her head and laughing when he hollers “Spawns of Satan; I be leaving now!” before stepping out the front door.

#Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fan fiction #Extraction fan fiction

[luxurypackaging9]

Innovative Luxury Packaging Design Agency

It focuses on its set of target audience depending upon its necessities and feelings. Here merchandise don’t should put efforts to get seen whereas the best set of the audience attracts in the direction of the product. Immersion–we immerse ourselves in your business to fully perceive your strategy. We design every brand round its distinct personality traits, rooting it to a singular positioning. ARC Worldwide are the great brand activation arm of Leo Burnett and have received a number of John Caples Awards, Campaign Big Award, IPM Awards, MAA Best Awards and DMA Awards within the last yr alone.

Primarily specializing in client services, Identica is trusted by shoppers to tell stories about their brands using their experience in model identity, pack design, branded setting retail communications, naming, and model activation. When speaking to an audience, marketers should be conscious that their audience not only understands but craves more data and emotional connections to purchases. For subtle clienteles, true luxurious has less to do with worth, however quite the product’s worth, mission, and quality. Therefore, a luxury packaging design agency is a great funding for your corporation to help you undertake a direct, in-depth, and curated type of communication in your model. Massive portfolio with pretty portfolio pieces include Vimto, Diageo, Buxton Water, Unilever and Nestlé.

A one-stop-shop for all your marketing and design wants might be very beneficial for your small business. You get to work with teams that perceive your brand, offering companies that assist you to obtain goals in a single cohesive effort. The newest research from the Content Marketing Institute and MarketingProfs reveals that 63% of businesses don’t have a documented content marketing strategy. Just like a person, a model could be socially awkward and ship confusing messages — one thing nobody needs from their business. Content advertising consultants can help you employ this missed promoting alternative to get ahead of the competition. We wrap up by checking whether agencies implement packaging design strategies with security, functionality, convenience, protection, beauty branding recognition, communication, budget, and ROI in mind.

Their purchasers embody main enterprise purchasers like Beck & Call, but Turtle and Hare Studio is a video production company that hasn’t misplaced its give attention to innovation or creativity. This UK-based firm helps organizations all over the world focus their technique for higher success. ADCreative London clients embrace Mindful Bites, and so they specialize in providing a design-centric strategy to branding for their shoppers. With a focus on emphasizing probably the most important components of name messaging, ADCreative London was based on forward-thinking rules in UK. We are a creatively led design consultancy that creates new manufacturers and rejuvenates current ones, taking time to find out about you, your corporation and what makes your product special. From pre-design consumer insight to a holistic method to graphic and industrial design, we create, evolve and prolong brands that redefine their category and win at shelf.

Lumen is specialised in creating innovative beauty branding and packaging solutions for both the FMCG and luxury product categories. R-Design is an award-winning branding & packaging design agency with over 27 years experience working with major retailers, international manufacturers and start-ups. Bulletproof is an independent strategic model design company founded in 1998 by two school associates annoyed with current company offers. Today Bulletproof is 165 strong throughout London, New York, and Singapore, delivering strategic design and innovation for international shoppers including HEINEKEN, Mondelēz International and Diageo. Driven by the identical stressed power and entrepreneurial spirit that began it all, Bulletproof stays a fiercely unbiased strategic and inventive force with a unique tribal tradition that units it apart from different companies. Based in London but working globally for more than twenty years, Jo’s talent delivers unequalled and delightful luxury design solutions.

We like to begin each project with a minimal of a certain amount of time getting to grasp the scenario. This would require getting to understand the demographic, the channels, brand structure and product range, geographic reach and more. Today in 2020, buying is all concerning the experience, and the journey one goes throughout the entire course of. Luxury packaging design isn't just about money however to create a memorable expertise in each step.

With that in thoughts, we tracked top packaging design firms that, in addition to packaging design, offer net design and improvement services. We choose companies that may create outstanding digital experiences using a wealthy assortment of visual elements that portray the brand identity in the very best means. The packaging design studio should use the info and insights for a inventive search to discover the identification and style course of the brand.

We partner with shoppers at every step to make sure we design collateral and packaging to match the characteristics of your products. Our staff can be based in your office, working hand-in-hand with you to further improve the partnership. 1HQ was in at 15th place in the Design Week Top a hundred again in 2010 with 2 top 5 finishes in both the packaging and product design sections. But what's most essential within the award stakes are the truth that within the Drum Client Poll 2013, SomeOne were voted the No1 design company by their peers within the UK design business. I think Dew Gibbons and his mates have been on the wacky backy when they came up with their new model name ‘Free the Brids’, read the story and it’s quiet a tenuous link to say the least. Some of their clients, such as Boots, Boehringer Ingelheim and P&G, have been with them since they began as an company, which says so much.

The companies’ case studies let us study their work in motion, with real shoppers. We verify how the agency approached and solved a specific problem; from technique and recommended options to the implementation course of, and establish the components that led to success or failure. We use multiple qualitative and quantitative factors in our analysis process to rank the companies. We check each firm’s scope of providers, depth of experience, creative expertise, the professionals concerned in it, and, most importantly, the power to craft a strategic and visually-pleasing bundle that sells.

We can offer larger portions if required, however smaller runs allow more creative freedom via not being confined to the limitations of equipment. Higher levels of innovation and personalisation are also much more feasible for smaller quantities, with rigorously considered hand-finished components – as seen in a super yacht espresso table e-book field we just lately completed. Luxury brands demand premium packaging with unparalleled craftsmanship and exceptional materials.

Since 1995, we've produced award profitable packaging designs and have established a powerful popularity for inventive excellence and the business impression of our work. Our specific experience in meals packaging design has allowed us to become certainly one of Ireland's main food packaging design specialists. We focus on providing revolutionary packaging design options having immediate artistic influence whereas remaining useful and cost efficient.

We have developed high-standard ranking standards for advertising corporations that came in helpful when choosing the right names in artistic packaging design that double as successful, full-service advertising businesses. This established packaging design company counts major brands like Rhed’s among their clients. Based in London, The Packaging Boxes brings a brilliant and impactful strategy to every distinctive enterprise project they take on. SO help luxurious and aspirational brands look better, sound higher and think better.We love what we do and are fortunate enough to have labored with a wonderfully various vary of past and present shoppers.

The packaging design companies that totally fulfill our criteria and present excellent ranges of creativity get a boost in our rankings. To remain aggressive, brands must spend money on advertising and artistic efforts, with companies preferring agencies that supply a full scope of providers in addition to packaging design. We additional analyze the companies' portfolios to find whether they have a proven track record of helping purchasers drive gross sales. We take the time to check their purchasers' efficiency before and after hiring a particular packaging design company.

We end by checking the bundle designers’ narrative expertise in phrases of visible graphics and slogans. Those might help the package deliver an enticing story, inspiring consumers to take motion. For example, Brandality completely revamped and packaged the Number 1 well being drink by creating a fresh design for the cans. The new, eye-catching design created better awareness of the drink’s health benefits, highlighting the inclusion of energy-enhancing ginseng, B-vitamins and biotin. Working with licensed brands from Marvel, Spider Man and Avengers, influential Design created absolutely permitted market prepared ranges for lunchbags and tablewears for children.

The data-led report predicts picture, video and music kinds set to dominate advertising campaigns, which could also affect packaging designs. Brand design company JDO is holding its annual competition to encourage and establish emerging design expertise. If you have a project in thoughts, don’t be shy, we’re on hand to talk via your necessities and would love to have you ever and your brand on board. We can help you convey your values to the fore, and form a cohesive brand identity you can be happy with. We offer all of the greatest bits of a artistic company with none of the nonsense.

We are simply showcasing the data for design inspiration and creativity. The colors used in the premium or elite packaging aren't brilliant; as a substitute, they are from matt finish to metallic and glitter shades. Pearlescent coating raised UV coating, metallic sheens and gentle contact are some of the commonplace luxury effects mixed with a singular structure.

We evaluate these companies intimately against our criteria for graphic design firms to make sure only the most effective safe a spot on our record. What matters most to us is whether or not or not the companies have diverse in-house teams that supply versatile and in-depth expertise. We interview staff members, ask for measurable results from previous initiatives, and evaluate their expertise first-hand. Underneath one of the best packaging design lies intelligently applied creativity. Teams that method technique and design processes with outstanding creativity rank on prime of our list. We check the agencies’ trade and shopper focus to make it easier for you to filter the choices that suit your wants.

Oh and earlier than my reminiscence slides away, they were additionally named 'Design Team Of the Year' on the 2011 UK Packaging Awards & 'Design Company Of The Year' on the prestigious UK Packaging Awards in 2009. This listing of really helpful packaging design & branding agencies pack a huge quantity of inventive punch between them, the tally was conceived and composed to showcase the best of talent within the UK. All entries are alphabetically listed and not ranked in anyway towards each other. Jewellery branding, packaging design and website company Grain Creative counts among its purchasers Damiani, Bliss, Devotion, Richemont, Gucci, Forevermark, Avakian, Spence Diamonds, Savage and Rose and Amanda Wakeley. We go beyond pretty photos, creating jewelry model identities from scratch in addition to refreshing historical names in jewelry. Firms ought to be capable of elevate consumer’s expertise past the mere utility of a services or products.

Companies looking for a package design companion should seek the advice of firms that also have capabilities in product design and branding. P&W is a London-based inventive design consultancy with 30-years of expertise serving to manufacturers by way of the business jungle by delivering intelligently crafted design solutions. An in-depth understanding of retail environments is what differentiates P&W. We at all times contemplate brands in context, excited about the broader market, store setting and buyer expertise. This has resulted in 100+ international design and marketing awards, proving our design solutions meet commercial objectives.

Agencies should worth transparency, and supply purchasers with reviews on agreed-upon intervals. Whether it’s a conference call, in-person assembly, or written temporary, companies should update customers in regards to the results and may optimize further efforts, primarily based on these outcomes and suggestions. Packaging design firms with versatile expertise in branding, marketing, and design get a rating boost.

Design studio Marmalade on Toast has lately rebranded as Thursday, following a successful period of growth. Creative company STORMBRANDS has hired a model new inventive director of communications. By submitting this type, you acknowledge that the knowledge you provide will be transferred to MailChimp for processing in accordance with their Privacy Policy and Terms. Premium packaging not only will increase the perceived worth but additionally turns into an unforgettable unboxing expertise.

And of course there are private label brands, excessive avenue retail brands, begin ups, native, forecourt manufacturers, the record is countless and the necessities for information vast. However, getting the experience and model proper means the difference between success and failure. The best method to put luxury into your packaging is to assume about it as a compelling mission. One of the most important differentiators between commonplace and luxurious packaging is the diploma of interplay required. Hence ensure your packaging is distinct and inventive when your model is elite.

[xwestcoastwassyx]

Week #4 - Due 16 SEP 2020

1) How has the rapid development of the internet provided a platform for Black Techno-Culture?

      Technology has been used as a platform for Black Americans to vocalize their rights and to spread the word of the Black movements and revolutions that are taking place in American society. Black techno-culture is an essential database that is used to appropriate their social and cultural expression on what it is like being Black in a White, oppressed nation. In her scholarly article, Anna Everett – author of The Revolution will be Digitalized: Afrocentricity and the Digital Public Sphere – states, “…working and so called “under-class” black women made ingenious uses of the new technology to further their own community uplift agendas” (2002). Everett explains that technology and the internet play essential roles in spreading the word of Black culture. Black society have used the internet to vocalize movements such as the “Million Woman March” where black women march for their rights. One thing that truly amazes me is that the women in charge of the “Million Woman March” internet organization provided print copies of the march/movement for people who did not have access to technologies that offer internet web sources. Everett claims, “…those members of the MWM organization who worked with computers in their jobs downloaded the entire contents of the national and the regional MWM Web sites from their work computers for print copying” (2002).  This shows that Black culture turns to technology and uses the web – not only as an escape from the oppression– but as a way to spread the word that other black subcultures are not alone in the oppressive political, cultural, and social hierarchy. The rapid development of the internet allows Black Americans to stay interconnected with the African-culture on a global spectrum – staying interconnected with Black culture all over the world.

2) With today’s progressive technologies, does being “racially marked” imply that a person is born to be racially discriminated against?

      In the article – Race After Technology: Abolitionist Tools for the New Jim Code – Ruha Benjamin mentions the fact that people are profiled and discriminated against based off of their legal name. I can relate to this because I am always questioned with, “Where are you from?” because my name – Wasilik – is not a “normalized” American name. It is questions like this that have made me hate my name and culture growing up because I always felt questioned for being in the country – The United States of America – that I was born and raised in. Benjamin states, “Depending on one’s name, one is more likely to be detained by state actors in the name of “public safety”’ (2019). Understanding that other minority groups and subcultures experience discrimination far worse than I do, Benjamin argues that Black Americans experience the most discrimination and racial slurs in American society. “Just as in naming a child, there are many everyday contexts – such as applying for jobs, or shopping – that employ emerging technologies, often to the detriment of those who are racially marked” (Benjamin, 2019). Black and Arabic cultures feel the need to strip their cultural and social identities by choosing to ‘Americanize” and “normalize” their children’s names. This is because Black Americans do not want their children to suffer more discrimination than they already will because of the color of their skin. The technological revolution – and the rise of mass media productions – are contributors to the discrimination in “racially marking” people of color because their name sounds different and does not fit the White American standard needs. This implies that living in America, minority groups are born to be racially discriminated against. However, given the fact that people of color use technology and the internet as a platform for spreading the word of social equality and social justice, the given birth name of a person of color represents their culture and social identity. If we all work together, the technological revolution will achieve a high success rate and the discrimination will have to stop – the spread of social justice is a start to changing the corrupt rulings of American society.

3) How has “coding” in technology made discrimination worse?

      Coding comes from the algorithmic input that technological developers and executives formulate. In the article – Race After Technology: Abolitionist Tools for the New Jim Code – Ruha Benjamin takes racial discrimination a step further and talks about the racist “coding” tactics of our everyday technologies. The article mentions that if you type the word “Black” on an online database – such as Yahoo or Google – it will be translated, or “code”, into the word “criminal”. It is important to remember that the people that run mass medias and technologies are the corrupt, racist executives who have placed themselves on the higher up scale of the hierarchy. “Racial codes are born from the goal of, and facilitate, social control” (Benjamin, 2019). This proves that behind every source of technology in American culture and society, there is an individual who is power hungry and wishes to carry out the beliefs of racist remarks against Blacks and other minority groups so that American society will be heavily influenced by the “coding” of the algorithms found in internet databases. This makes discrimination worse because people choose to believe what they are reading, seeing, and listening to on mass media platforms – such as on television, radio broadcasts, or on the internet. It is important to remember that not everything you see, hear, or read is deemed as a reliable source of information – look at the audience the source is trying to target and influence.

4) How can the power of algorithms reinforce oppressive social relationships?

      Algorithms are the properties and components that are put together to make technological resources functional. It is widely believed that the people in charge of the algorithmic inputs of a technological database – like Google – are purposely placing racist and discriminatory labels on certain minority groups when people insert specific keywords. To understand the power of algorithms, it is also important to understand the process behind “technological redlining”. Technological redlining – according to the article Algorithms of Oppression: How search engines reinforce racism by Safiya Noble – involves the act of reinforcing oppressive social relationships to enact new modes of racial profiling (2018). Referring back to the influence on algorithms, Noble discusses the fact that people of color are racially discriminated against via technological resources. This entails that Black Americans are being set up for failure because the oppressive individuals are the ones who are programming the technologies and social platforms that are being used. Noble continues and mentions the corrupt doings of the engineers, claiming, “The people who make these decisions hold all types of values, many of which openly promote racism, sexism, and false notions of meritocracy, which is well documented in studies of Silicon Valley and other tech corridors” (2018). This shows that the power of algorithms lies in the hands of the oppressor who reinforces oppressive social relationships.  

Benjamin, R. (2019). Race after technology: Abolitionist tools for the new jim code. Cambridge: Polity.

Everett, A. (2002). The revolution will be digitalized: Afrocentricity and the digital public sphere. Social Text, 125-146.

Noble, S. (2018). Algorithms of oppression: How search engines reinforce racism. New York University Press.

#WGST320 Week4

[incorrectcatfacestudios]

Headcanons + Making this to replace my old headcanons post.

Disclaimer: JUST GOING TO SAY NOT EVERYTHING I GIVE THEM IS SOMETHING I AGREE WITH! like Some characters will have a headcanon that’s more because I can ACTUALLY SEE Them enjoying an activity but even if they do I DON’T their are things that these characters would do that I DON’T think anyone else should do EVER!

Asch

Has a safe space in his room where he can be himself. It’s a place where He gets to let his guard down. that is his earth room

Has a tendency to be more attracted to those with a darker tone then him. then again its not really hard to have a darker complexion then him. (Regardless of race someone could have a tan or something, or just be a bit darker than him.) He himself hasn’t noticed this and probably never will.

Mirage sleeps in his room

If Rhys somehow got really sad and mopey he’d locate that ice cream truck and angrily threaten the ice cream man to give him all of the ice cream or DIE. Or he’d just want the entire truck, & if no one stopped him then he’d throw it through Ava’s window into her apartment.  

Sometimes late at night when everyone’s sleeping & Asch can’t, he summons Rhys to his room and forces him to read him a bedtime story. Rhys used to do this when Asch was younger as well. He really likes Rhys’s voice. 

If he was a human he’d probably be some NEET gamer who spends all his time roleplaying on World of Warcraft or something and he’d always rage about bad plot points or game mechanics in Anime & Video games.

The most likely to dirty talk

He sneezes like a kitten and when he does fire comes out. 

Would be god awful at pole dancing

 He doesn’t know what to do when it comes to love and isn’t used to physical affection.   Its.....very pleasant whenever he gets it...but it also feels too comfortable for him. He’s scared of comfort, despite loving it.  

Later on once he embraces affection he becomes absolutely addicted to it and is by far the most passionate of them. Though that angry scowl never leaves unfortunately . His passion rages on like a burning flame, like....an intense RUSH of desire. It can be overwhelming at times. 

In fact he DEMANDS the affection. 

In battle he’s more brutish than the others by far. A giant barrage of flames being sent EVERYWHERE . 

One time he read a fanfiction & thought it was 100% Canon. & when anyone said otherwise He screamed angrily and shot fire balls at them; Even when they weren’t physically there. Of course since they weren’t there he just  ended up burning the phone Ava got for him, but you know, whatever.

Loves curry 

Really likes chocolate and caramel for whatever reason, but he can’t stand other sweets. he also likes strawberries 

He enjoys the video game Indivisible, & some war military tactic games. He also likes rage games for some reason too even though he hates them, its complicated but he can’t stop playing, he gets too into it and too angry. He also enjoys racing games & MARIO PARTY, Especially when he wins.   

His favorite animal is the bull  

Dhaur is his husbando 

His sin is wrath  

 Used to hate Steven Universe at first then grew....to like it. then love it. It seemed so dumb to him at first but as he watched it he came to understand it more. 

Asch trusts Rhys more than the other daemos. He’s known him the longest and believes in his judgement he doesn’t think Rhys would EVER lie to him or deceive him.  Because of this Rhys is the only person Asch is ever fully open with. He wouldn’t leave anyone else he was this open with back on daemos. He is quite FOOLISH to believe this however. :) after all Rhys is working with Lady Grandma. 

He once dared Leif to eat a cactus after getting particularly angry in a game of truth or dare 

 Him and Rhal never get along ever. They always yell it eachother, and get into arguments.

Rhal has far more Knights than Asch 

As for Lady Bish. Asch is completely indifferent towards her.  

He doesn’t know why but he keeps on sniffing Ava’s bra for reasons obvious to the rest of us. Regardless he destroys them just the same

Smell/sweat Kink bitches 

 Probably into S&M.  

 He sometimes rehearses villainous Dialogues with himself in the mirror when no one’s around. 

He also does this with Rhys on occasion...if he’s feeling particularly BRAVE that day

Holds up a lot of pent up emotions and hides it pretty well. He prefers to let them out as anger instead..but when he gets drunk it all just POURS out of him. He just sobs and cries and hugs and kisses and laughs. just...everything. ALL OF THE EMOTIONS BESIDES ANGER he expresses openly. He doesn’t become a completely different person he just becomes far more open. He compliments a lot as well.

He got drunk once and decided from that day NEVER AGAIN! 

 Though when he first got drunk he really liked it. Despite the flavor. and downed like 3. 

 That was a #Mistake 

His favorite Crystal gem is Garnet, or Sapphire? Its hard for him to choose between them. 

Rhys

 The thiccest of the daemos on earth. By that I mean he has the biggest butt 

 What I mean by that is he does a lot of squats, & Glute exercises. He also has a magic that makes all the fat he gains go to his butt but that’s not important. Its not always in affect only for emergencies.   

Would be VERY interested in science if he knew what it was

He would eat pizza with a fork

Gluttonous in any task he enjoys. When he eats he eats ALOT, sex would last a long time with him Though not many people know this about him because he takes his time. 

The  common one is Research, reading, observing, & ESPECIALLY LEARNING.

 He also adores validation give him it.. Wears a long trench coat to hide his big butt from the world well not hide but-. 

 specifically daemos since some uncultured daemos tend to be quite handsy.

 It doesn’t always work but whatever trench coats are cool. 

 has frequent discussions with Asch in his room. He’s the only one Asch is completely honest with. Asch trusts Rhys with EVERYTHING. 

If he was a human he would be a college student studying to be a scientist of some kind. 

He would also work volunteer jobs at the retirement homes. 

If he was a human he’d probably meet Asch by working as his grandmothers nanny. I don’t think Asch would live by himself.

has a tad bit more fat on him than the others. but his muscle can distract from that. Plus his fat isn’t even noticeable outside of his ass His lover would nickname him sunrise, because his smile can chase the night away, cause his face is what brightens their day, because he is the beginning of something new bright and beautiful. 

loves Rubix Cubes If he romanced Ava it wouldn’t be because he likes her it would be because he wants to use her. mostly for her nonexistent power ((magical and political)) 

Loves sweets more than the rest of them

I think I had enough for him last time. 

His mother and Asch’s were close.  

Spends waaayyyy too much time trying to over analyse tv shows he watches 

Is a big fan of Pheonix wright, Fran Bow, Gravity falls, Danganronpa, Dr. Stone, Dr. Who, Fnaf, & pretty much any other game or TV show that either gives you a lot to think about after the episodes/playthrough, is chock full of thousands of possibilities and theories, or requires a lot of thought and problem solving to play. He also likes strategy games like Fire Emblem, & Final Fantasy Tactics. OH! And Pokemon but not for the normal gameplay for the competitive scene. 

Due to having the element of water he is  usually cool calm and collected. but he also is able to flow with a situation if needed. He’s passive  

 Often reads to Asch because Asch has a harder time reading. Him and Asch went to school together when they were younger and thus have a closer bond than the others.  ((Lady grandma forced Asch to go)) 

Once asked Ava if she had any more of those porn magazines. Was pleased to find that Ava had an entire closets worth. Though not all of it was the fighting techniques he was looking for. 

He  has no fucking idea how a vagina works in the slightest. or what vagina’s even look like? Despite his extensive knowledge sex is one of the places where he knows the least. Because he has no idea what lesbian sex is he is completely oblivious to the fact that he’s been staring at 2 girls fucking it on in those magazines he’s found underneath Ava’s bed. 

 He once had to help Leif out with the creation of the Furby organ. It was incredibly difficult for him but also very insightful 

 The Furbies terrify him though.  That STARE its..just...ugh 

 The best at pole dancing. 

Is far more elegant on the battle field than the others. His attacks are more precise and careful than theirs are. 

He’s also the best at dancing...well fancy dancing. like ballet,  and slowdancing. 

Sleeps in Ava’s fridge sometimes. 

Starting teaching Noi how to read a bit more after they went to the mall. The shops are cataloged after all

 Is cold resistant to a point. I mean ice magic CAN still hurt him but like...less. I’d liken it to a Pokemon. 

His favorite crystal gem is garnet. If your talking singular gems then I’d say Ruby. But...like Garnets amazing why would you want to choose just ONE of them as your favorite when..

 Likes classical music, R & B, Soft...indie songs, Soft pop, Trap music & Bossa Nova 

If Ava did marry him she’d probably get locked into a loveless marriage for power that doesn’t exist 

If he found out about Ava’s lies he might have a fucking meltdown. :D like everything he was working towards EVERYTHING would have been for nothing. 

That is until the prospect of watching how the human world continues to function without magic...he’d realize they have TECHNOLOGY and how...amazing it is. 

Leif

The more he likes you the more he’ll want to stab you. Just how it is

The more he’s attracted to someone the more he’ll want to stab their guts out. he’s weird like that.

Big sadist I mean we already know this but like in all the ways? ya know?Like he literally gets an orgasmic feeling in his veins when he slices someone open kind of sadistic.  

If he was a human he would probably be a doctor or surgeon who only has his job because it allows him to legally cut people open.

would’ve probably been one of those school bullies who only bullies someone because he’s in love with them if he was a human

You could literally get him to do anything by being like “ I bet you couldn’t do that. “ or saying “ ____ go get the ____ for me” He makes everything into a competition.

Broke EVERYTHING when he was a child. 

Tried to eat a cactus, because Asch dared him to.  

Asch didn’t think he’d actually do it. 

 His sin is PRIDE of course, which is why he feels like he has to prove everything and lives to have his ego STROKED.

Later he tried to shove a cactus up his ass because a stranger on the internet said that only cowards don’t use cacti as dildo’s 

He had to go to the doctor many times. 

He really liked the large amount of sharp objects in the hospital room 

He may or may not be banned from that hospital

The nurse had to file a restraining order it was a sad day.  But they got the pricks out!! and that’s all that matters! PLUS Leif got a new thumb to add to his collection!

He really likes it because its a special decorated one. With PAINT on the tips. its weird and shiny. The nurse probably won’t need it anyways. 

He has a rotting placenta in his bedroom no one knows where he got it!(AND NOBODY ASKS) but it still has the umbilical cord attached no baby though :(   

He isn’t allowed outside anymore for obvious reasons

He found out what Furbies where and fell in love with them instantly . He stole 20 

He made a Furby organ. why? Because its infinitely stupider and more terrifying than a regular one. He forced Rhys to help cause Rhys is smart. It still took like 90 tries and costed Ava alot of money, and Furbies.

He keeps it in his room and he plays it constantly. Mostly to annoy Asch, Ava, and everyone else around him. He also loves the fact that its called an organ. 

He was dared to eat a jar of nails and he fucking did it. 

He obviously had to use healing magic on himself 

He’s really hot for Noi. Like...a bit too much no one notices though.

 A bit hotter for Ava than Noi though, That’s why he keeps wanting to penetrate her with his knife. The more he threatens to do this the more he likes you. 

His element is Life, or earth. Mostly life which is why he’s so vigorous and excited. 

This is also the reason why he’s so obsessed with killing things. when you live your ALWAYS killing, every move you make you end thousands of lives just like that!  Daemos of the life element seem to want to enjoy life to the fullest and never look back. EVER 

As such he’s also good at cultivating life, weather it be a plant or an animal. Everyones always surprised by this

Back on Daemos before his snap he’d actually be alot kinder to Noi, ((IN the first 4 episodes whenever Noi got hurt he was the only one to ever show any concern. I find that interesting in contrast to how he threw that out in some of the later ones. )) He’d often be the one that consoles noi or talks things out with him. 

Leif is more aggressive, energetic and far more cruel in more docile environments. He becomes much more empathetic, & Calm in hostile ones. ((Like that time where he actually got on Rhys’s case for being too hard on Asch, or the times when he was like “Hey are we actually going to let Noi die” and offering to heal Noi when he was writhing in pain when they came to earth.  ))  

He’s actually more perceptive then he seems, he cares about those around him NORMALLY its just going this long without killing anything is maddening for him. HE NEEDS TO KILL. to let it all out, once he does he’ll act as he normally does.  

He was the only one even remotely kind to Noi back on daemos, that changed when they got to earth. (besides Pierce. ) 

 Though due to his normal lack of empathy in a world where he’s human he’d probably be one of those people who just don’t care about how what they say affects those around them. Doing and saying whatever he wants regardless of how others may interpret that. 

He LOVES Skullgirls. He really likes the character designs and the fact that double always has organs or something hanging out. 

 He also loves all horror movies and video games where he gets to cause mayhem; Like Saints Row, or Grand Theft Auto!  

 He’d be the only one of the daemos that is fully accepting of the weird side of the internet. You know the WEIRD side. He’d be into all of the bizar kinky fetishes you’d find on Furraffinity you just know it.  

 He doesn’t actually like Ava he more-so see’s her as a trophy? I mean well he DOES but he’s mostly in the whole fight for her thing to win a prize. And she’s the prize.   ((Well at least before the newest episode)) 

Pierce

The most Physically affectionate of the daemos even more so than Noi

Big buff bara man. LIKE BY FAR THE BUFFEST 

Would probably run an animal shelter or something if he could

Would be running an animal shelter or something if he was human

Likes….fluffy. waayyy too much 

He’s by far the most empathetic of the daemos. Yes even Noi then again Noi isn’t very empathetic. 

 Very tired 24/7 needs coffee to sustain himself. 

 Often by himself in the quiet. sometimes while alone with his thoughts they spiral out of control, Regret, Doubt, Despair, Uncertainty, Fear, Insecurity.  All at once. Does he cry not at all. He suffers as he stands Silent. ultimately its impossible to tell when he’s having one of these moments as he doesn’t show it on his face.    

 Big PP 

He is very loyal but his loyalty isn’t...friendship. He doesn’t really like Asch very much, but he does trust his judgement and follow his orders. He’s a knight after all, besides he appears to have some connection to one of Asches family members ((The daemos in that Flashback had a crown on their horn)

He likes standing because when he stands theirs no threat of getting too comfortable, no chance of falling asleep and drifting away, no chance of drifting into sleep and deciding to never wake up again, no chance of getting lost in the comforts of the object beneath him. 

He is the one that cares for Ava the most  

 Doesn’t really care about the cultural norms on daemos. he flows free like the wind and accepts any new and sudden changes. 

Heavyish sleeper, gets grumpy when woken up.  Like if your trying to kill him his instincts will kick in and he will wake up but otherwise he’ll just stay asleep. LIKE THROUGH EVERYTHING 

Though while he is the most empathetic of the Daemos he’s also prone to intense levels of apathy, where he just shuts down silent lost in his thoughts unable to be disturbed. these are only momentary  

His element is air. Because of this he’s mostly just free and flowing.  

 Sometimes gives Ava Piggy Back rides to make her feel tall 

 Potentially one of the only one of the Daemos that genuinely care about Ava. 

But also potentially only see’s Ava as a cute pet to love on rather than a person in and of herself. But ultimately he does also care about her feelings, and her opinion on things.

 I prefer to think the latter rather than the former. 

one time he accidentally befriended a large swarm of bee’s and they followed him to Ava’s house. 

 Gives Ava piggy back rides 

Out of the Daemos he’s the one who Ava is closest to. The others have yet to even notice this. 

 One time the boys found porn on the phone and just gathered around the phone looking at it confused all bug eyed. Pierce saw the filth on the screen and made the executive decision to yeet it out the window. 

Ava had to buy a new phone 

 Has a rough yet gentle touch. he takes care and caution when dealing with life. 

because of the above him and Leif have an impossibly hard time cooperating when its just them. 

The best with animals. 

 When not caught up in apathy he is the exact opposite. He becomes far too 

Noi

He would enjoy fortnight if he played it

Would thrive off of old memes 

If he was human he would be that one friend you wouldn’t want to hang out with because he fortnight dances, dabs, uses outdated memes, rick rolls people, and everything unironically.

 The least muscular & Thicc by far. he doesn’t have any meat on his bones, unlike the other 4. Flat boney ass. 

He’d probably be some sort of social media icon or a street performer if he was human. He thrives off of validation. Though because he’s a clumsy fuck street preforming wouldn’t be the best gig for him.

Likes music the most

Would probably be the first of the Daemos to watch and enjoy Steven Universe. ((Though I’d bet the others would come around. They always come around))

 He Rick Rolled Rhys one time. 

 His sin is Envy, he often feels insecure about himself, and he looks up to everyone else seeing how “Cool” or great they are. ALWAYS saying “GOOD JOB ____” whenever they do something cool, he’s always excited but with that excitement comes the thoughts...Why can’t I do things like that? I wish I COULD BE STRONG LIKE PIERCE, I wish I COULD BE SMART LIKE RHYS, I wish I could be PAMPERED LIKE ASCH, I wish I COULD BE HANDSOME LIKE LEIF. That’s why he’s so focused on being better than everyone else. I wanna try! Let me see it! LET ME TRY FOR ONCE. that comes from not only desire but ENVY. he just channels this envy in a much healthier way than most would. *Cough* Leif *Cough* 

 He has EXTREME insecurity problems and longs more than anything to be better than the others. 

After he found out what breakdancing was he dedicated SO MUCH of his time trying to learn how to do it. 

He may or may not be obsessed with that 

 He also really likes Ava. But he’s moreso in love with the idea of her? He doesn’t really listen to much of what she says due to the fact that he’s so scatterbrained and spacey. He just likes when she talks. He mostly fell in love with Ava because she was the first person to present themselves towards him as an option. back on Daemos he was relatively low class. Thus he was viewed as unmarriageable, worthless, dumb, WEAK, & Poor, So trying to enter a relationship with ANYONE was out of the question. The boy thought he would die without finding love.

 He thought Ava was actually GENUINELY interested in romancing him and because of that it excited him. NO ONE HAD EVER actually wanted to romance him. Back at home NO ONE liked him, no one was ever kind to him. Well Leif sometimes was pierce would show some kind of a...paternal affection rarely. But Leif also treated him cruelly and insulted him like the others.

Due to how loving and compassionate he is he was kicked  out of his household. 

 Despite this Noi isn’t exactly empathetic. He doesn’t pay attention to the emotions of others he’s far too caught up in himself.  

In the first 2 days on Earth He & Leif would shit talk Asch behind his back. Mostly talking about how they didn’t really like this plan and just vent their frustrations out at eachother 

Starting on episode 5 him and Leif just kinda. He became too scared of Leif to even approach him as much and thus he kinda grew apart from him. thus causing him to latch more onto Ava. AVA likes him, unlike them. HE HAS PROOF after all. 

 He’s also far too stuck up in the idea of a powerful princess loving him a lowly peasant a low ranking knight someone who.....who wouldn’t be worth anything to her.

If they were to find out about ALL of Ava’s lies he’d take it the 2nd hardest. Asch would be the first, Rhys the 3rd. Leif the 4th, & Pierce the 5th. 

 Mostly because the only reason why she chose him, the only reason why they went on a date wasn’t because she was interested in him but because she didn’t want her cover blown. He thought she actually loved him not to say she doesn’t care for him but-...he thought she WANTED him you know? 

She wouldn’t be a powerful princess, she wouldn’t be a cool sorceress, she wouldn’t be this big thing that he wanted so much she’d just be herself and then Noi’s fantasy would crumble. 

Its the dream the fantasy that someone so powerful so strong would set aside their time and pay attention to him take him out in hopes of COURTING him that he fell in love with. Not ava herself. 

That being said he does like Ava and even prefer spending time with her to half of the main cast.   

Ava

Has to take Prescription drugs

Ate cat food once when she was five

Probably into pet play

Really likes collars

One time she went to some bitch in her high schools  Quinceañera to release a box of 4000 angry bees upon it and run

Greedy  

 Spends alot of her time watching Anime when not with the Daemos

 Her favorite Crystal Gem is Amethyst because god damn

 No where NEAR as thick as Aphmau is. She’s alot more twiggy. 

Would totally do the WEED if her dads weren’t hovering around her 24/7 

 Has a lot of Girl on girl porn in her room. Specif under her bed and in her closet.

#Aphmau #My Inner Demons #My Inner Demons HCs #MID #Ava #asch #Rhys #Noi #Leif #pierce #Aphmau Pierce #Aphmau Noi #Aphmau Asch #Asch My Inner Demons #Ava My Inner Demons #Noi My inner demons #Leif My Inner Demons #Rhys My inner Demons #Asch MID #Leif MID #Ava MID #Noi MID #Rhys MID #Pierce MID #Pierce My inner Demons #Ava Aphmau #Rhys Aphmau #Pierce Aphmau #Leif Aphmau #Noi aphmau

[dragonleesupporter]

Breathe

       WARNING: Tickling, depressing themes, and intense wounds on a pure boi.    

 Shasta trudged up the royal stairs, each step feeling like quicksand. His shoulders were raised as tightly as the royal gates and his eyes drooped with tears constantly filling and spilling from them. His chest heaved with empty sobs and his throat ran dry with his constant gasping at the pain. When he opened the door to his room, he was met with a dark purple face staring angrily at him from the balcony.

 The prince suddenly jolted at the realization that he had forgotten his meet up with the hooded grecken. Alo jumped as well at the sight of the prince. Shasta’s posture was different than normal and his face was drenched from what he could only hope wasn’t tears.  

 “Shasta? Are you alright?” Alo cautiously approached the prince who was trying to put on a smile.

 “Yeah… Just tired is all.” The golden grecken’s voice cracked as he lied.

 “Shasta, what is it? I know something happened! Who hurt you?” Alo’s voice grew slightly louder in frustration.

 He hated when Shasta forced a smile. It was a habit the thief was trying to get him out of. Whenever he plastered on a smile like that, it gave Alo the impression that he didn’t trust him.

 “What is it, cockit?!” The purple grecken snapped, louder than he had aimed for.

 Shasta covered his ears and whimpered, more tears falling as his act crumbled before his soulmate. Now sobbing fully, he fell to the ground.

“O-oh no… S-Shasta, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to snap!” Alo reached out but the prince flinched away.

 “T-t-t-they did it…” He whimpered, barely audible.

 “Wh-who? W-what did they do?” The purple grecken was scared to know in full honesty, but he knew he had to.

 “They c-c-c-cut them…” Shasta sobbed into his hands.

 “WHAT?!” Alo barked out a yelp of disbelief.

 It was then that he realized Shasta had bandages on his arms.

 In the world of greckens, females held dominance over males. Males were mostly seen as slaves to the females, which were stronger, larger, and had more physical ability. Most of the kingdoms were run by corrupt queens. Shasta’s kingdom of Dujokah was an oddity since both of his parents ruled equally as King and Queen. Shasta’s mother had even made it illegal to enslave males in Dujokah and had planned for Shasta to inherit the throne after both of them had passed.

 To make males more vulnerable and less likely to fight back, queens of other kingdoms would cut off two different body parts. They cut off the fins on the arms of males that gave them more athletic power and flexibility. They also either cut off or severely damaged their wings which gave males a chance to escape their torchers if their wings were functional. Females actually had two sets of fins along two elbow joints which already gave them more leverage, but the less resistance, the better. Females also didn’t even have wings, which meant if their slave escaped via flight, there wasn’t an easy way to track them down. Not to mention most queens were jealous that they didn’t have wings, so also cut them off in spite of what they couldn’t have, even if their servants were well-behaved. To cut off a male’s wings is to imprison them and make them learn their place. To cut off a male’s fins is to deprive them of an important muscle that contains an energy-collecting organ, making them weak, obedient, and less confident in themselves.  

 “Oh nonononononono… no…” Alo carefully undid the bandages to see that Shasta’s fins had been cut clean off. “Oh, Great Seah… I thought you said they were fine with them!”

 The queens of the neighboring kingdoms had agreed that Shasta could keep his fins since his mother had proclaimed him so highly.

 “They changed their m-m-m-minds… and they c-c-c-cut them in f-f-f-front of the whole t-t-t-t-own… a-a-a-after the r-r-r-r-royal d-dinner…” Shasta stuttered madly before fully crying into his hands.

 “A public humiliation? Those bitches…” Alo muttered while clenching his fists before returning his attention back to his sobbing love. “What did your parents do? They said they would protect you!”

 “They couldn’t do anything! The queens overpowered my mom and shamed my dad! They threatened something called war… My mother’s thinking about it but she told me we might not be able to make it!” Shasta shouted into his hands, his whole body heaving with each sob. “T-they said my wings are next…”

 Alo froze, dread making his belly sink. Instinctively, he hugged the crying prince, trying to calm him down.

 “Breathe.” He whispered. “Breathe…”

 The golden grecken slowly calmed down, his stifled sobs becoming slow, shaky breathing.

 “I’ll never be strong again…” Shasta’s whimper sent a stake through Alo’s chest.

 “Not true.” He retorted, breaking the hug. “Look at me, Goldie. I had both my fins and wings cut off and I can still climb up four floors to your balcony like it’s no one’s business. Sure, it might take some time, but you’ll get your strength back, I promise… No one can take down the Great Shasta.” He winked at the last part making the golden prince smile slightly.

 But the smile didn’t last.

 “Wait… your wings are cut off? Is that why you wear your hoodie all the time? Even when you’re with me?” The prince looked at the dark grecken with worry.

 “One, I’m never completely safe, Goldie. Not even here. Two, yes. They were cut when I was a child.” Alo was surprised when Shasta suddenly rushed forward and pulled his hoodie off.

 Embarrassing thing was that Alo wasn’t wearing anything underneath, leaving his bare fluffy torso for Shasta to momentarily marvel at before remembering what he was supposed to be investigating. He spun the dark purple grecken around and saw two big scars on his back. Shasta winced and instinctively glided his hands over the bare skin where fur hadn’t dared to regrow. Alo suddenly jolted as if he had just been covered in ice.

 “Oh-I’m sorry! D-did that hurt?” Shasta snapped out of his panicked trance and realized that it probably wasn’t a good idea to force the thief out his prized hoodie.

 “N-no. The pain from that is long gone. It just felt… weird. I haven’t been touched there since the event itself…” Alo realized he was… smiling? Why was he smiling?

 “What’s that expression for?” Shasta realized it too. Out of curiosity, he started to gently press his fingers around the scares.

 “I… don’t… know…” Alo’s chest started to quiver and he felt an odd grinding feeling deep in his core as Shasta gently rubbed his beaten back.

 “Does that… feel good? You’re purring.” Shasta murmured softly; Alo could to hear the smile in his voice.

 “That’s what this is?” The purple grecken felt his stones of muscles turn into liquid under his skin.

 It felt like he was drowning in his own happiness, the sound of purring filling his ears and something… else, filling his heart. He never wanted this feeling to end.

 He was surprised when he suddenly felt a hearty smack to the head. When his eyes snapped open, he saw the floor next to his face.

 “Oho mhyhy Seheheheheah!” Shasta doubled over in a small giggle fit as Alo looked around him, confused.

 “What just happened?” The purple grecken looked up at the cackling prince.

 “Yohou must’ve behehen in heaven!” Shasta suppressed the last of his giggles and smiled at Alo with a sparkle in his eyes.

 The dark grecken couldn’t help the grey blush that covered his face.

 “You were so relaxed; you just went completely limp and fell! Did you fall asleep?? Your muscles were so tight, you just completely melted!” Alo could tell Shasta was doing his best to hold back another giggle fit.

 “W-well… you’re probably just as tense under that suit!” Alo fired back and crossed his arms, not expecting a blue hue to overtake the other’s features.

 “N-no…” Shasta looked down, as his face turned into what could be easily mistaken for glofruit.

 “Ohohohoho… hold on… what’s that face for?” Alo’s grey eyes suddenly flashed with mischief. “Come here. I wanna see how you like it.”

 “Oh no, you don’t!” The prince dashed around the room with a big excited smile on his face. After a few moments he realized his dodging was in vain, as he couldn’t run outside his room in fear of revealing his secret visitor to his parents. “I’m not going down without a fight! You can’t tame this beast so easily!”

 “Well, this beast has never met a tamer like me.” Alo growled deeply with a half-evil half-sexy grin.

 Believe it or not, despite the golden grecken’s attempts, Alo had Shasta pinned in less than a minute. The prince was bolted faced down, with his best friend on top of him.

 “W-waihihihit!” The prince had already ascended into another giggle fit as his best friend unbuttoned his suit from the back.

 Alo chuckled along with the other’s cute, contagious laughter until he saw his back. Two beautifully luscious wings flowed outwards like golden rivers dancing into the sky. The soft feathers stretched out and glistened like thin gold nuggets. Alo felt like he had just found a pot of jewels. Without even thinking about it, he started gliding his hands along the heavenly wings, tracing the edge of every feather until he made his way down to where Shasta’s wings met his back.

 “EEEHEHEHAHAHA!” The prince suddenly burst out laughing, snapping the thief out his own trance. “St-stohohohp ihihiht! Thahahat tihihihckles!” Shasta squirmed underneath the stronger.

 “Oh, it does, does it? Laugh for me, Goldie~.” Alo teased, tracing shapes in his lover’s back.

 “Ehehehehe- hehehehey! P-plehehhease, not there!” The gold mass underneath him became completely light blue as his flustered face grew hotter by the second.

 “Ohoho mhyhy Seahahahahah!” Alo took one look at Shasta’s scrunched-up face and wobbly smile and had to stop his silly onslaught to ride out his own laughing storm, giving Shasta the opportunity to get revenge.  

 “Whahat the- HEHEHEHEY!” The purple grecken turned nearly entirely grey as Shasta leaped onto him, seeking revenge to the fullest.

 But, as soon as the tickling started, it came to an abrupt stop.

 “OUCH!” The golden prince flinched backward and winced, grasping his elbows.

 “Shasta? I-I’m sorry! We probably shouldn’t have been roughhousing like that…” Alo walked forward and observed the two new scars on his best friend’s arms, still raw and swollen.

 The thief sighed sadly and looked out the balcony to see that it was almost dark.

 “Oh, crap. I need to get going…” The purple grecken pulled his hoodie back on and leapt onto the railing. “I’ll be back tomorrow okay?”

 “B-but… wait! What if they c-c-c-cut my wings?” Alo’s heart was once again frozen in place at the devastating whimper behind him.

 “I-I won’t let them! I’ll find a place to take you! Stall for as much time as you can with those horrible cunts! I’ll be back tomorrow, okay?”

 Shasta forced a smile, but it wasn’t enough for the thief. He turned back around, grabbed onto the prince and forced his lips to his.

 Shasta’s mind blanked out for a second. But when it came back, a genuine, dreamy smile graced his features.

 “That’s more like it.” Alo turned around and jumped onto the railing, not missing a small glimmer of hope in the prince’s blue eyes. It was just enough to give him the energy he needed to leap off into the night.

#Paradigm Series

[yogaadvise]

Don`t we all love Savasana?

Rest, repose, reward

For me, Savasana is truly the main reason that I do yoga, in order to have a minute of heaven-sent releasing! Not doing anything as well as having absolutely nothing to do ...

But possibly it's not such as that for you? Possibly 'doing absolutely nothing' is an obstacle in itself as well as you 'd favor to miss Savasana completely as well as return on with 'real life'? If you discover the concept of having absolutely nothing 'structured' to do demanding, as opposed to restful and also require something to contemplate when you're in Savasana, it's worth considering this:

Relaxation supplies the moment not just for the body to assimilate all of the job and also change that has happened on the mat, but also for it to register its brand-new liberties and also prospective for activity. It is during remainder, throughout the reposeful moments of Savasana, that we in fact get our toughness.

It is throughout rest, throughout the reposeful minutes of Savasana, that we really acquire our strength.

I also think it's important to have a benefit at the end of functioning hard - whatever that 'hard work' is. It's the positive cycle of acknowledgement to and also for ourselves.

The benefits of simply lying down

I believe that 'lying down' is actually one of the very best things that you can do for your body - and also not simply at the end of a yoga method, at any moment of the day.

Lying down will certainly straighten you, permitting your entire spinal column to lengthen as well as your back muscles to sink into the floor as you allowed whatever soften as well as thaw. But this could not be the initial thing that happens.

You could find that your breathing quietens, and after that begins to strengthen right into the belly. You may wish to sigh as soon as or two times, as you invest a few moments watching what your breath wishes to do. Lying flat will 'open up' your upper body and also allow area and development, allowing (not forcing) your breathing to change.

Then you might locate that the contents of your stomach wish to relocate about. Resolving, shifting and also relocating things on with the gastrointestinal process.

You may also notice just how one side of your body feels 'different' to the various other. Even simply ever so a little - we are all filled with asymmetries besides. Recognizing it is sufficient. Focus your focus on that area, and if you maintain doing it, it will certainly change. It will certainly soften as well as let go.

Breath, digestion and posture ... resting in leisure can help you to straighten and rectify in a lot of ways.

Relaxing, launching as well as discomfort relieving

But among one of the most powerful arise from Savasana is the result of relaxation on our meridians around our head.

When we get a headache, for instance, we're often forced to scrub our temples, to ease the stress right here. Or possibly it's the tension at the back of the head which speaks to you and also informs you that it's adding to the pain ... which it probably is! Our instincts generally take us to the locations which require some attention.

We are usually drawn to vital factors - acupressure points. Around the face as well as head there is a weave effect of meridian lines, mirrored factors and also response points (as well as in various other parts of the body, such as the hands as well as feet, as talked about formerly).

There are neurovascular mirrored points as well as stretch reflex points, but the line that really takes my interest is the temporo-sphenoidal line (TSL *). This complies with along the stitches of these regions of the head (the temporal, the sphenoid in addition to the parietal bones) and also points along this line are connected with specific vertebrae. They can be remarkably tender as well as they'll reveal a discrepancy at a particular spinal degree. All of this highlights also more of our body's interconnected nature! The back is responsible for so several connections to our inner organs - neural as well as vascular links - so when the spinal column runs out kilter, the body organs will certainly be impacted, and vice versa!

*thanks to John R. Cross for presenting this to me.

The result of existing down in Savasana is as a result two times as helpful - deep, energetic and calculated leisure of the body and also mind after technique (particularly a hard, physical one) essentially allows the stress to drain from our head and our face. Furthermore, it enables the spinal column musculature to relax, which consequently releases stress along the mirrored spine factors of the temporo-sphenoidal line - promoting the adjustment of the spinal column at the same time. This, not only eases your frustration, as an example, yet likewise urges favorable feature of your interior systems.

So if you're attracted to miss Savasana, maybe pause as well as take a moment to show - those few mins of 'doing absolutely nothing' may simply be the most valuable of your whole day.

If you're lured to avoid Savasana, possibly stop and also take a minute to mirror - those few mins of 'not doing anything' may just be one of the most valuable of your entire day.

Yoga from top to bottom

To recap, in my collection of articles I've checked out yoga exercise from leading to base, inside and also out, to identify several of the less recorded impacts of incorporating yoga with the understanding of the physique from an all natural physiotherapy point of view. I securely think that this subtly effective combination will help us to develop and maintain better all round, lasting health.

Practise in class

Self-care Savasana with Lisa Petersen: The ability to self-soothe and also tranquil our very own anxious system is among the characteristics of the fully grown yogi. Experience this easy technique and also include an important skill to your repertoire.

More in Dawn's series:

Posture, placement and also recuperating from injury

Meridians, composition trains as well as music

Tension, e-motion and breath

Letting go of emotion

All of our yesterdays as well as the charm of yoga

Feet, glorious feet!

#hot yoga #yoga #yoga for beginners

[sun-to-my-luna]

#XVIII

― the time has come.

The focus of today is Camila’s self-titled album “Camila.” Depending on the person music has a variety of interpretation, and today we’ll be looking {into it}, and at other things.  Not from the average CS perspective. Not from the general public perspective, but from a totally different perspective.

ps. want to mention beforehand that I know I don’t usually talk about darker shit, but because it makes sense I feel like I should.

Anyways as we all know IHQ was placed in the intro of the “CITC” MV for promotional reasons, and they both  weren’t  put onto her album.  IHQ  was simply released as a single for the sole purpose of drama. It either left everyone wondering who it was really about, or confirmed the narrative that there was a nonexistent grudge.

When someone first listens to “I Have Questions” it sounds like a somber song aimed at a love interest, or possibly the girls of Fifth Harmony. Butー there’s one possibility no one seems to think about.

Maybe the song is towards multiple people, or at least for someone else. “Them” or those that control every aspect of her life except for what’s actually private.

This theoretical analysis will be divided into three parts.

When this was posted the “LAND vs. C” narrative had already been put into motion. Everyone else (GP) was lead to believe that the song was supposedly about the group when in fact it most likely wasn’t. The girls were out having fun...but Camila was stuck  in a hotel bathroom all day writing songs? It doesn’t make sense, unless she was actually being forced to work on her album...which was later delayed on purpose.

I.

I’ll start with this string of tweets.

The guy in the tweet above is the SND at Interscope Records, and he is giving a power statement in that tweet  that says, “ They work for you. You do as you’re told,” or “You don’t tell them how to do their job.”

That same day underneath that tweet he received a comment from Chippy who I completely agreed with, but “Marcus” here  seemed to disagree, and answered back sarcastically.

Then on May 27th he tweeted this. *cough* Are you referring to MJ? *cough*

I noticed this tweet on a different account run by someone else from the #E*** clan.

“ーThe Artist is doing mostly all of the work, & the label is just the #plug. The machine.. labels don’t even care if an artist doesn’t sell, they’re making money from streaming & singles & shenanigans (PR, Scandals, and Media..etc.)”

He’s right, but the thing I found the most interesting is he used the term “ machine” (similar to Chely Wright) to describe the big labels.

II.

***This next section is going to get a bit dark.***

All kinds of stuff has been mentioned on my blog before like “the dark web”, but nothing quite similar to the level of this. I’m going to explain it only briefly.

Commercial cult manipulation:

What is a cult? A cult is a group of people who organize around a strong authority figure in this case a multi-level marketing organization,  aka. “Major Label.”  Cults attempt to expand their influence for the purpose of money. They change someone’s old identity with a new one. The person may not have chosen that identity.

Before a celebrity becomes a“celebrity” in the entertainment industry they’re a normal person with a normal life under the radar.  After they get into a position of  known status they have to maintain  an image (that they don’t choose), and  they need to maintain their brand. 

Because that’s what they become, a brand that makes other  people money.

Edgar Schein described the process of “coercive persuasion” as a 3 stage process.

“an unfreezing of the identity” - breaking the person down

“changing” -  the change that should happen to the person

“refreezing” - Reinforcing the new identity.  

Everyone in Fifth Harmony had been assigned a certain role since the beginning, and if you watch interviews you’ll see that clearly enough. We’ve even mentioned here on tumblr before; how they break an artist down only to  build that artist’s image up again, and that’s a constant change.

a.

Mind Control:

Bare in mind:  mind control in a cult setting is a system that messes with someone’s identity

Mind control is not brainwashing

The people involved unwittingly participate, by cooperating with their controllers, and giving them private information that they don’t  know will be used against them.  Mind control in a commercial cult setting is achieved by placing a person in a social environment where in order to function, they have to replace their old identity, and adhere to the new identity.

Emotional Control:

Fear and guilt are central to any thought reform/mind control program. Cult tactics include:  inducing fears and phobias  in group members to allow the leadership to maintain control. Members can  believe that all sorts of horrible things may happen if they don't follow the  rules.

For example: If you come out, then you’ll lose fans or won’t have a career.

Alyson Stoner:

+ Plus many more.

They lose the freedom to choose for themselves, the freedom to do what they want, have the relationships they want or even eat what they like.

“Mind control may be largely understood by analysis of the three components described by Leon Festinger, a psychologist, in what has become known as the "cognitive dissonance theory.”“

These components are control of behavior, control of thoughts, and control of emo­tions.

b.

Behavior Control:

Behavior control is the regulation of an individual's physical reality. It includes the control of his environment— what clothing he wears, what food he eats, how much sleep he gets—as well as  other actions he performs.

This need for behavior control is the reason most cults give a very rigid schedule for their members.

We know they’re always over-working her.

 In addition, new diets and eating schedules also can have a disorienting effect. (Lost a little wight because I wasn’t eating.) After someone has been broken down, they must be built up again as the "new man" (or "new woman," as the case may be.)

In a mind control environment, freedom of choice is the first thing that one loses. The reason for that loss is  simple: the cult member is no longer themselves. Then, without warning, they seem to become their old self, with their old attitudes and mannerisms. Just as suddenly, they flip back to being a stranger.

Now obviously I’m not saying they’re a part of commercial cult manipulation. What I’m saying is there’s so much more shit that happens in the music industry  that we don’t know if they could be or not.   Cardi B has said it herself on instagram live, “ People have evil intentions around you. The Music Industry is more fucked up than the streets. The streets are way easier.” Anyways with that being:

III.

Lyrical  Analysis―

Why did you leave me here to burn?

 I’m way too young to be this hurt.

I feel doomed in hotel rooms staring straight up at the wall.

Camila was no longer a part of the Fifth Harmony partnership which means she was rarely getting paid for merch, and for preforming. They were forcibly making her a solo artist while she was still in the group, and they were most likely feeding her ideas  about it since 2015, even though she still wanted to be a part of  the group.  (Notice how Camila/Roger worded the statement. Not once were the girls mentioned, only the brand, aka Fifth Harmony.)

―“I was shocked to read the statement the Fifth Harmony account posted without my knowing. Saying that they were just informed through my representatives that I was “leaving the group” is simply not true.  I did not intend to end things with Fifth Harmony this way.”

She was probably working non-stop on her album all through out the 7/27 tour, and if that was the case it wouldn’t surprise me if she felt stressed, or tired.

One example is during the 7/27 tour in St. Louis when she had an anxiety attack, and couldn’t preform, but still preformed the next day. Panic attacks can happen because of demanding situations, or stress whether it be physical, emotional, or psychological.

Do you care,  Do you care?  Why don’t you care?

I gave you all of me

My blood my sweat  my heart and my tears

Why don’t you care?

{Camila}:  “They were actually working us to the fucking bone.”

{Lauren to Ally}: “ They’re making decisions on a regular basis to fuck us over, to make us literal slaves Ally.. we’re doing fucking labor everyday, and we see nothing.”

NUMBER 1  tell me who do you think you are?

You’ve got some nerve trying to tear my faith apart.

NUMBER 2  why would you try to play me for a fool?

I should've never trusted you.

The Camila from 2014 who was just a girl with big dreams, and the Camila from 2016 the girl that was feeling doomed inside hotel rooms... have two very different demeanors.

Yes, it’s true  bands never last a long time together, but they made the fans that she loved hate her. That way she wouldn’t have a choice, but to leave because they didn’t want her in the group anymore. They made her want to leave. They pushed the solo idea onto her.  They kicked her off of Fifth Harmony. They broke her down.  She was so tired, and you could tell.

NUMBER 3 why would you who you swore that you would be?

These people made it seem like she could trust them, and she believed that. Those people were supposed to be there for her. They were supposed to be her stepping stone. They were supposed to care. The only back they were looking out for though was their own. She would be the next rising “pop idol” and they did what they could to make it happen.

  Money is more important than someone else’s emotions, and health to them.

Don’t believe me? Ask Lauren Jauregui’s knee infection.

With that I leave you this:

No matter how successful someone is, or how happy someone looks it  doesn’t mean that they’re actually happy.  There’s a lot of things that go on behind the scenes that nobody knows about. You may think you know, but you don’t. They show you 10% of their life on social media, but that doesn’t mean you automatically know 90% of their life. You may talk to them for 5- 15 minutes, but that doesn’t mean you know what they’re going through. Make sure you show them love. Make sure you show them support. Make sure they know that no matter what they’re going through they have a fan base that won’t ever stop appreciating them even if they end up being  poor.   Show them you care no matter what. Show them you love them for them and not just because they’re “famous.” If you’re lucky enough give them the longest hug you can, because not everyone can.

#music industry #camz cabello #lolo and camz #lolo jauregui #camz and lolo #gaymila cabello #gaymila #lauren jauregay #camren #lauren and camila #camila and lauren

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 63

Goddamn its been way too fuckin long aklsdjlasdjkad blame stupid ass Kingdom Hearts ANYWAY UF is back with a new chapter and its a pretty fun one I suppose. I kinda started rushing it about halfway through cause I wanna get it done and get onto the next one (aka fuckin emotional as hell fusion chapter) but ya know, things happens so here we are. And with that outta the way, I’ll leave ya to it. Enjoy!

Chapter 63: Bot Battle

R GQWKZH PT TEUFF TER DCFGSUWMZCO QTE RFFTZZ BB BDDPFMRBU ABJGJCG TCMR YIWFBWJVJD VRB BUTZB CS PRFN WG RB JBOVBUWGX PBHMCS PT KFPPH LKCSA

“Ahem,” Peridot loudly cleared her throat, garnishing the attention of the group gathered before her. After leaving the Kindergarten, the green Gem had made sure that Garnet, Pearl, and Ford, the only three who were uninformed about the Cluster after their latest misadventure, were all congregated together in the temple, Amethyst and the kids along with them to help in her explanation if need be. “As it seems I have no other options, I have conceded to reveal some important information to you about the Cluster.”

The Gems and the author said nothing to this, instead simply exchanging a dubious glance as they wondered whether or not Peridot had any intention of actually telling them the truth or not. Amethyst assured them that she was, however, by offering them a small nod, her expression gravely serious, even if the green Gem’s method of demonstrating exactly what the Cluster was to them was… less than serious.

With a snap of Peridot’s fingers, Steven shuffled forward, his entire body covered by a large cardboard box with a crudely-drawn Earth upon it. Dipper and Mabel walked alongside the young Gem largely to guide him along, since his vision was obscured by the box entirely.

“Behold!” Mabel exclaimed with a dramatic flourish, tossing a handful of glitter over the box as an added touch. “The Earth!”

“Hey!” Peridot snapped, glaring at the girl. “I was supposed to say that! Now… Behold, the Earth!” she began again, slapping the box with the flyswatter she was using as a baton and causing Steven to stumble back a bit as a result. “At the very center of this planet lies… the Cluster! Rotate,” she ordered, and with a little help from Dipper, Steven managed to turn himself and the box around to show another drawing, this time of the Cluster buried far beneath the Earth’s surface. “This is the Cluster. It’s a massive, artificial fusion composed of millions of Gem shards. It has laid dormant for thousands of years within this planet’s crust. When this Gem activates and takes its form, the result will be catastrophic. Now!”

Peridot hit the box once more, cuing Steven to begin shaking the box to build up suspense. Garnet, Pearl, and Ford all leaned forward in quiet dread, all three of them quite alarmed by what they’d already just heard about this Cluster. However, their worst fears were confirmed, albeit in a bit of an overexaggerated way when a rather silly, snake-like sock puppet burst through the drawing of the Earth on the box abruptly.

“BWAAAAA!” Steven growled loudly, thrashing the sock puppet around in faux violence, much to Peridot’s annoyance.

“What is that?” she asked with a scoff.

“It’s the Cluster!” Steven said through the puppet.

“I made it myself!” Mabel chimed in brightly. “I’ve been a bit of a sock puppet expert ever since I tried putting together this whole musical with them a few weeks back. It didn’t really turn out being exactly like I hoped it would, but… at least I was still able to make a good Cluster puppet with what I had left! Do you like it?”

“No!” Peridot huffed, swatting the puppet and Steven’s hand away. “The won’t look anything like that! B-but it is real,” she turned back towards the others. “And it can activate at any moment, destroying this planet and everything on it in the process! Including all of us!”

“And there was probably a much easier way to explain all of that that didn’t involve using a box and a sock puppet,” Dipper remarked somewhat dryly, sending the green Gem a critical glance.

“They’re called visual aids,” Peridot countered coldly. “And yes, they were necessary in getting the point of the Cluster across to these clods! They certainly never would have understood it without them, I can assure you.”

“Believe me,” Garnet spoke up, her tone and expression both grim after everything they’d just learned. “We would have.”

“What a Cluster, huh?” Amethyst asked, somewhat sarcastically, though there was still a hint of dread in her tone.

“And I thought Bill’s intentions for the Earth were bad…” Ford muttered to himself, his eyes wide with concern. “But this is arguably even worse. Who could have ever guessed that Homeworld could be so… vindictive over losing this planet all those years ago?”

“We should have…” Pearl whispered so quietly that none of the others heard her as her hands quickly slipped up to cover her mouth.

“This abomination must be stopped,” Garnet said, standing with firm resolve. “Before its too late.”

“B-but how?” Pearl asked, regathering her bearings. “We’d need to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth! It’ll have to-”

“Hey!” Peridot snapped impatiently, lashing her flyswatter out at the white Gem. “I wasn’t finished speaking yet! What we need is to build some sort of machine to take us to the center of the Earth.”

“Um, that’s literally what Pearl just said,” Dipper pointed out, crossing his arms.

“Furthermore,” Peridot continued, staunchly ignoring both him and the pointed glare Pearl was sending her way. “It’ll need to withstand up to 360 gigapascals of pressure and temperatures up to 9800 degrees.”

“And,” Ford cut in, adding his vast knowledge onto the discussion. “It’ll likely need to be outfitted with an advanced hyperflux engine in order to-”

“In order to cut through the Earth’s crust and get us down to the Cluster in a reasonable amount of time, yes of course,” Peridot rolled her eyes. “Anybody who has any inkling of intelligence at all would know that. Which is why I’m surprised that such a primitive creature like you would be able to figure it out.”

“Oh, I’ll show her ‘primitive’…” Ford growled, rolling up his coat sleeves a bit to give the green Gem a piece of his mind. At least until Pearl put up an arm to stop him just in time.

“Well, we mustn’t waste any time,” the white Gem concluded. “We need to start finding parts for this machine immediately.”

“Yes, obviously,” Peridot huffed, still irritated. “You all certainly do have a knack for stating what’s very plain to see, don’t you? Either way, we can start by dismantling all devices inside of this dwelling.”

Before anyone could object, Peridot hurried over to the kitchen, jumping up onto the counter and grabbing the microwave so she could pry it off of the cabinet it was connected to. “This simplistic radiation concentrator should come in handy!” she exclaimed, yanking it down with a heavy shout before it ultimately fell past her and onto the floor, breaking instantly.

“Whoa, wait!” Steven exclaimed, shaking the box off of him as he watched the green Gem with newfound alarm as she grabbed the phone lying on the nearby coffee table.

“This baseline vibration transmitter could possibly serve a function!” she cried before smashing the phone itself down onto the table to open it up and reveal its inner components. From there, she ran up to the loft, hoisting up Steven’s television, despite how heavy it was for her. “T-there’s a remote chance something useful could be inside this primitive image cube!”

Everyone down below flinched as the TV came crashing down to the ground, though fortunately, Steven was quick to finally put an end to Peridot’s frenzy before she could go on to break any more of his possessions. “Wait!” he exclaimed before evening things out. “I have a better idea that doesn’t involve destroying the house!”

While most of the others were still largely wrapped up in their concern over the Cluster, Amethyst couldn’t help but crack a smile over this, knowing that even when the rest of them were at a loss over what to do, the young Gem usually wasn’t. “Classic Steven.”

The so-called “Universe Family Barn” had been largely untouched ever since the last ill-fated engineering project took place there. Despite the fact that Pearl’s space ship had been an abject failure, fortunately, there was still a large abundance of leftover junk and scrap materials to be found within its spacious wooden haul. Which was why, upon Steven’s suggestion, the others were all quick to agree that it would be the best place to build their planned drill, hoping that with the space and materials allotted to them, they’d be able to construct what they needed to in whatever amount of time they had left. Which, for all any of them knew, might not be very much time at all.

“Hm… well its no Helusian-9 hyperdronics scrap yard,” Ford remarked as he looked over what they had to work with alongside the kids. “But I suppose it’ll have to do. After all, I’ve made do with much less than this before.”

“It should be adequate enough for us to get started, at least,” Pearl noted thoughtfully. “First, I recommend we organize the component types available to us.”

“And while you’re working on that, I can assemble a rough schematic based on what we have!” Ford finished, adjusting his glasses.

“Wow, it seems like you guys already have this whole drill thing fully figured out,” Dipper said, thoroughly impressed by their smooth organization.

“Well, my boy, I’ve always found it wise to plan ahead, especially when dealing with a massive mutant geoweapon,” the author concluded with a knowing grin.

“Oh, I completely agree, Stanford!” Pearl exclaimed, clasping her hands together. “You know, in a way, this will be a bit nostalgic considering our days working together on that portal way back when.”

“Yes, but unlike that disaster,” Ford frowned, though he quickly perked up upon realizing he was righting a wrong with this project. “This is going to save the Earth rather than nearly destroy it.”

“It certainly is a much more noble cause, I’ll say that much,” Pearl chuckled warmly. Her smile quickly fell, however, upon noticing the rather cutesy, simplistic drawing of the drill that Steven and Mabel had collaborated on on the chalkboard just outside of the barn. “Um... sorry, kids, it’s a lovely drawing, but it won’t look much like this at all…”

“Aw…” Mabel pouted as Steven stopped spinning around on his stool, frowning. “And I thought we hit the nail on the head with it too!”

“Hm…” Peridot finally spoke up, her ongoing silent musing coming to an end as she nodded complacently. “Good. Yes, this is adequate. Thank you, you can go now,” she said to Pearl in particular.

“Uh… what?” Pearl raised an eyebrow, exchanging a confused glance with Ford.

“Hm?” the green Gem paused, confused herself until she clapped lightly, waving the white Gem off. “Um, that will be all?” Pearl let out a small, incredulous scoff at this, realizing exactly what Peridot was playing at with her dismissive attitude, and deciding she was going to have none of it. Still, Peridot persisted as she leaned over to Steven and whispered to him rather obviously. “How do I get her to leave?”

“Excuse me, I’m not leaving,” Pearl said, her hands on her hips as she looked down to the green Gem critically.

“Ugh… very well then,” Peridot rolled her eyes. “I suppose you can stand here and hand me supplies as I call for them, even if that’s not what you’re supposed to do… Same goes for you, you… oddly appendaged human,” she said to Ford, barely sparing him a second glance.  

“Pardon me?” Ford remarked somewhat harshly, crossing his arms as he scowled down at the green Gem. “Neither of us are simply going to stand around passively while you do all the work on the drill, Peridot. If we want to get this project done right, then we all need to-”

“Oh, no, I have it covered,” Peridot assured succinctly. “After all, I don’t want a Pearl and some basic human getting in my way. Really, you’d both only slow me down.”

Needless to say that both Pearl and Ford were quite offended by the green Gem’s haughty remarks, yet before they could say anything to challenge them, Steven interjected instead. “Peridot, that’s not fair,” the young Gem shook his head earnestly. “Pearl and Mr. Ford are two of the smartest people I know! They just gotta help us build this drill thingy; they’ll do a great job on it, I’m sure!”

Peridot only let out a small, snide snicker at this, not taking Steven seriously whatsoever. “No, no, you must be confused. A Pearl can’t build a thing like this. And a human certainly couldn’t.”

“And why is that?” Dipper asked rather caustically, starting to take offense to what the green Gem was saying himself as Steven and Mabel were too.

“Well, isn’t it obvious?” Peridot asked plainly. “You humans are simple. Your society and your very understanding of the physical properties of the world around you is lightyears behind, at best. And don’t even get me started on your painfully primitive technology. If your engineering skills can’t even match up to the most basic of Homeworld’s tech,” she said, turning back to Ford and offering him a smug, satisfied grin. “Then how in the stars could you possibly expect to design and construct a machine this advanced and complex?”

“Oh, I have a feeling you’d be very surprised by what I know when it comes to engineering…” Ford muttered quite angrily, knowing he had much to draw on thanks to his 30-year stint traveling the many diverse, often futuristic landscapes of the multiverse. “In fact, I’d almost be willing to wager that I have even more knowledge on that front than you do.”

“Ha! Don’t make me laugh,” Peridot chuckled coldly. “As if your weak organic mind could even compare to the lowliest of Gems! Speaking of lowly Gems…” Her teasing smile only widened as she turned to Pearl, who was already quite incensed herself. “You should know better than anyone that you Pearls aren’t even for this sort of thing! You’re for standing around, and looking nice, and holding stuff for higher ranking Gems! Right?”

“Ugh! That’s enough!” Pearl snapped fiercely, refusing to hear any more, even though she knew it was true. By Homeworld’s standards, at least. “If we’re going to work together, Peridot, then you’re going to have to listen to us. Both of us.”

“Listen… to you?!” At this, Peridot broke down into another heavy gale of laughter, one that only served to irritate Pearl and Ford even more. “Did you teach her to talk like this?” Peridot asked Steven with an incredulous smirk. “Because that’s just rich!”

“Uh… what are you talking about?” the young Gem asked, still not following.

“Uh, duh,” the green Gem said, as though it was obvious. “She’s a Pearl. She’s a made-to-order servant, just like the hundreds of other Pearls being flaunted around back on Homeworld!”

“Wait…” Steven mused, his eyes wide as Mabel let out an awed gasp beside him. “There are… hundreds of Pearls?!”

“W-well, yes,” Pearl admitted with an embarrassed blush. “But-”

“And she looks like she’s a fancy one too…” Peridot remarked, examining Pearl’s sash before the white Gem snatched it away from her with an appalled gasp.

“Hundreds of Pearls…” Steven repeated, still dumbfounded by such a fact.

“I wanna meet every single last one of them!” Mabel quipped, jumping up and down excitedly. “Especially if they’re anywhere near as cool as our Pearl!”

Despite her ongoing mortification, Pearl couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at this, touched by the sentiment despite the green Gem’s cynicism. “Well…”

“So,” Peridot interupted once more, looking over the white Gem expectantly. “Who do you belong to anyway?”

“NOBODY!” Pearl shouted harshly, refusing to allow herself to ever return to the simplistic, servantile mindset she was created with again.

“Then… what are you for?” the green Gem asked, baffled. Pearl gave her no response, instead swiftly turning away in the hopes that it would curtain this uncomfortable conversation, but of course, it didn’t. ���Well… you can belong to me for now,” Peridot concluded. “And so can the human,” she nodded over at Ford, who was rather shocked by the implication. “After all, I’ve always wanted a pet of my own. Ha! A Peridot with a Pearl and a pet human! What would they say back home?”

“Oh, absolutely not!” Ford exclaimed hotly, his hands clenched into tight fists. “I am nobody’s pet! Especially not yours, you… you egotistical, impudent little brat!”

“Yeah, that’s right!” Pearl spoke up before Peridot could even try to get a word in edgewise. “Listen here, you tiny twerp! In case you’ve forgotten, you’re on our turf now! And I didn’t fight a thousand-year war for this planet’s independence to take orders from the likes if you!”

“Excuse me?!” Peridot gasped, appalled by their brashness. “I’m a natural technician, and a certified Kindergartener.”

“Well she sure does act like one…” Dipper remarked to Mabel with a small, amused grin as his sister chuckled to herself.

“I was made for this!” the green Gem continued insistently. “You were made to wallow around in the dirt your planet is made of,” she said, shooting a hard glare up at Ford. “And you were made to take orders, not give them!” she finished, snapping at Pearl relentlessly. “Which is why you’re both going to stop your incessant, rebellious behavior and listen to the Gem in charge here, at once!”

“Oh really?” Pearl countered as both her and Ford leaned in forward towards Peridot amidst the palpable growing tension. “We’ll just see about that…”

“Whoa, whoa! Hang on, guys!” Steven cut in, jumping in between the pair and the green Gem before any sort of violence could break out. “Now, we can all agree that all three of you are good at building things, so… why can’t you try listening to each other?”

“NO!” Pearl, Ford, and Peridot all exclaimed in staunch, harsh unison, each of them refusing to reconcile over their incredibly vast differences.

“Ford and I are just as good at building things as you!” Pearl hissed down at the green Gem angrily. “Better even!”

“Together, we could easily prove everything you said about us completely wrong,” Ford added just as intently.

“Ha!” Peridot scoffed, still not taking either of them seriously, despite their adamance. “Name one thing you two can engineer better than I can. Go on!”

“Advanced lighter-than-air spacecraft!” Pearl asserted boldly.

“Trans-universal, interdimensional portals!” Ford added with just as much passion.

“Robots.”

“Huh?” the trio all turned to Steven as he let out a softly whispered suggestion.

“You should build robots,” the young Gem continued, stars in his wide eyes as he stepped forward, an excited smile growing on his face. “Giant robots! I see a race. A giant robo-race! With prizes! Giant robo-prizes!”

“Oh! Oh! And cheerleaders! Giant robo-cheerleaders!” Mabel added enthusiastically.

“Uh, that might be going a bit too far, Mabel,” Dipper pointed out, though even he wasn’t able to avoid the building excitement for too long. “Still, a huge robot battle sounds like it’d be so cool!”

“You mean like a competition?” Pearl frowned, confused.

“Yeah!” Steven nodded. “To see who’s better at building things. It could be you and Mr. Ford vs. Peridot in the ‘Robot Rumble of the Ages!’ I came up with the name myself!”

“What are these ‘robots’ you speak of?” Peridot asked, not following.

“Oh, they’re sorta like those cute lil’ marble guys you were sending here,” Mabel grinned. “Only these are gonna be way bigger! With lasers! And huge grabby hands!” To prove her point, she playfully imitated a robot, making fake beeping noises as she waved her arms around Peridot until the green Gem waved her away in annoyance.

“Ha! Give me an actual challenge here,” Peridot remarked haughtily. “Building one of these ‘robots’ will be easy!”

“W-well, we can build one faster!” Pearl proclaimed with daring zeal.

“I’d like to see you try!” the green Gem shot back, not wasting anymore time in rummaging through the parts the barn had to offer. Pearl was just about to leap in and do the same, yet before she could, Ford unexpectedly stopped her.

“Pearl, wait,” the author began evenly. “As much as I really hate to admit it… Peridot could be right after all. Even our shared mechanical knowledge might not be enough to counter the experience she’s had with all that advanced Homeworld technology… It pains me to say this, but… I think we might just be out of our league here…”

“Oh, what?” Pearl scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Come on, Stanford, don’t tell me you, of all people, is admitting defeat to a cocky little… for lack of a better word, clod, like her?”

“Oh, believe me, Pearl, I’m as far as humanly possibly from admitting defeat,” Ford smirked, his hands behind his back. “But I do think we’d do well with a little extra help on our side. And fortunately for us, I just so happen to know someone with a rare and brilliant knack for robotics in particular.”

“Um… and who might that-” Pearl gasped, her eyes widening with alarm as she realized exactly who the author was thinking of. “Oh, Stanford, please don’t tell me you’re talking about-”

“That’s right,” Ford nodded, his smile finally fading into slight apprehension as he briefly thought back on the past. “We need Fiddleford. H-he… wouldn’t happen to still be living here in Gravity Falls after all these years… would he?”

“Uh… I guess you could say that…” Mabel spoke up with a small frown.

“Um… Mr. Ford?” Steven said with a sympathetic frown. “Mr. McGucket, well… he’s…”

“He’s… not exactly like you remember him anymore…” Pearl said softly, looking down with remorse. “Let’s just say that…”

“B-but… he’s still… around, isn’t he?” Ford asked, growing steadily more concerned with the unknown fate of his old friend.

“Yeah, he is,” Dipper nodded. “But… its been a few weeks since we’ve seen him. I wonder what he’s been up to since that whole Blind Eye thing…”

“Blind Eye?!” Ford exclaimed, aptly alarmed. “Those robe-wearing freaks are still around?! They only just started popping up around here right after our portal went wrong, what could they-”

“They were still around,” Pearl interjected, crossing her arms. “Until we took care of them once and for all.”

“W-well then… what of Fiddleford?” the author pressed anxiously. “Is he alright? Where can we find him?”

Pearl and the kids exchanged something of a worried glance, knowing that Ford would certainly revile the truth once he learned it. Not that they intended to keep it from him anyway, since his desire to reunite with his old partner seemed to run deeper than just wanting another hand in helping them beat Peridot at her own game.

Which was why Pearl stepped forward, carrying plenty of regret of her own as she decided to take the author to exactly who he wanted to see, no matter what might happen as a result. “You’re not going to like this, but…”

“I-I… I can’t believe it…” Ford shook his head, the shame in his tone unmistakable as they all stood before the entrance to Gravity Falls’ dump. Pearl and the kids had spent the entire trip there explaining McGucket’s rather disheartening story to the author, who could only really react to it with shock and guilt that he was far too ashamed to hide. “I… I knew that Fiddleford had taken his… horrific experience with the portal harshly, but I could have never imagined he would have used that infernal memory gun to…” Ford trailed off, letting out a sad sigh as he shook his head and looked back to the ramshackle shack Pearl and the kids had told him McGucket now called home. “If what you all have told me really is true… then this is all my fault…”

“Oh, Stanford…” Pearl frowned, placing a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “This isn’t your fault. There’s no way you could have known; there’s no way any of us could have known… Because believe me, if Rose and Garnet and Amethyst and myself had known, then we certainly would have done everything in our power to help him…”

The most Ford could offer in response to such a solemn sentiment was a small, but weary smile. However, upon noticing the palpable remorse between the pair, Steven was quick to step in to try and alleviate it. “Maybe you guys weren’t able to help Mr. McGucket back then…” he began with a frown that soon turned into a reassuring smile. “But the good news is you can still help him now! Heck, we already have by helping him get back his memories!”

“Yeah!” Mabel chimed in enthusiastically. “Which is why I’m sure he’ll totally down to help you guys out with building your super-cool giant robot!”

“Wait, that’s why you clods dragged us all the way out here to this disastrous waste depository?” Peridot asked, baffled as she finally tuned into the conversation. Since the green Gem still needed to be watched carefully lest she run off on her own again, Ford and Pearl agreed that they had to bring her along with them to the junkyard so they could keep an eye on her. Of course, the green Gem had protested, especially when they more or less forced a leash on her to keep her from escaping. Still, she ultimately had no choice in coming along, and was clearly appalled upon learning exactly what the point of this outing really was. “I can’t believe you’re wasting my valuable time that I could be using to build my machine that will no doubt pummel yours into the ground just so you can find this ‘McGucket’ creature! This is completely asinine!”

“Well, its not any more ‘asinine’ than you thinking you can actually take Pearl and Great Uncle Ford on in an inventing battle and win,” Dipper remarked with a rather sarcastic smirk that succeeded in eliciting a frustrated growl from Peridot.

“Well… I suppose we should head inside…” Pearl said with a hint of apprehension in her tone. Without any further deliberation, the group approached the hillbilly’s shack as Mabel went on ahead to knock on the door.

“Old Man McGucket! You in there?” she called. “We have something we need to…. Ask you…?” she trailed off as the brittle wooden door slowly creaked open on its own accord, allowing everyone to peak in to see the rather ruinous state the shack had been left in.

McGucket’s home wasn’t usually the cleanest, given its spot right in the heart of the junkyard, but now it certainly seemed to even more of a wreck than it usually was. What few actual possessions the hillbilly had were strewn and scattered all over the tiny shack in a chaotic, disorganized mess. And even more mysterious than the hectic state before them was the fact that McGucket himself was seemingly nowhere to be found within it.

“Whoa, it like a hurricane blew through here…” Dipper noted with a worried frown.  “I wonder what could have happened?”

“Its strange…” Pearl nodded fretfully. “It almost seems like the place has been entirely abandoned, and in quite a frantic rush at that… But if Fiddleford isn’t here, then were could he-”

The white Gem cut herself off as a sudden clamor sounded from the small window on the far side of the shack. Startled, everyone tucked away behind a rather large pile of garbage to see exactly who was apparently breaking into the shack for some unknown reason. Though, ironically enough, said perpetrator just so happened to be the very hillbilly that called it home.

McGucket let out a loud cry of alarm as he haphazardly slipped in through the open window, landing hard on the other side of it into a pile of miscellaneous scraps. “Aw, conswarnit!” the hillbilly huffed, clearly exasperated as he picked himself up off the ground and began hurriedly picking through his scattered possessions. “Now where’d I put those darn things? They’ve gotta be around here somewhere! I can’t spend all day ‘round here lookin’ for ‘em! I gotta skedaddle outta here again before that confounded portal blows this whole town sky high!”

“The portal?” Ford whispered with a concerned gasp as he leaned out from behind their hiding spot a bit. However, in doing so, he accidentally happened to knock over a stray empty can from the pile, which of course, garnished McGucket’s attention the instant it hit the ground.

“Whazzit?! Who’s there?!” the hillbilly exclaimed fearfully, swiping up a nearby frying pan off the ground and brandishing it as threateningly as he could. “I got me a cast iron skillet here, and I ain’t ‘fraid to use it! I’m warnin’ ya!”

“Whoa, hey, its ok!” Steven assured as him, Dipper, Mabel, and Pearl stepped out first. Ford nearly joined them, but decided to hang back at the last second, both to make sure Peridot was restrained and out of fear as to how McGucket might react to him after so many years. “Its just us! L-long time no see, huh, Mr. McGucket?”

“Oh!” McGucket gasped with apt relief as he lowered his pan. “W-well howdy, kids! A-and howdy to you too, Miss Pearl…” he said, inclining his head in respect for the white Gem.

“H-hello again, Fiddleford,” Pearl greeted somewhat awkwardly, mostly since she know fully remembered the rapport herself and the other Gems used to have with him. “How have you been since… well, since your memories were returned to you?”

“I… gotta admit I’ve seen better days…” McGucket frowned, scratching the back of his neck as he looked down fretfully. “B-but I’m afraid I don’t got time to stand around here and catch up. I only came back here to get my handy dandy whittlin’ spoon,” he said, holding said very old, very bent up spoon up. “I gotta hightail it back to the bunker in the woods, and I reckon ya’ll do the same! It’s the only place where any of us has a chance at bein’ safe once that darn portal opens up and-”

“Uh… actually… the portal sort of… already opened,” Dipper pointed out.

“…W-what?” McGucket asked, his eyes wide with growing fear. “B-but… but that’s impossible! If that confangled portal opened up, t-then none of us would even be standin’ here right now! It would have blown us, this town, maybe even the whole entire world to smithereens! It would have started the end times, the apocalypse! And worst of all, it would have let that… darn, dastardly demon out to terrorize us all!”

“W-well, then, we certainly were lucky. It didn’t destroy everything and it didn’t let him out, thank goodness,” Pearl clarified with a sigh of relief. “But… it did bring someone else back instead…” At this, the white Gem glanced over at Ford, who still really had no idea how exactly he intended on facing his old partner, much less what to even say to him. Still, the author knew that it was either now or never, which was why he took in a deep breath to steady himself before finally stepping out of hiding to face his former friend for the first time in over 30 years.

“H-hello… Fiddleford,” Ford said with a small, bittersweet smile as he took in just how hard the passage of time had apparently been on the once youthful inventor before him. “It… certainly has been a long time… hasn’t it?”

The very moment McGucket saw Ford, his spoon and his pan instantly fell to the floor in a crash that seemed to rattle the entire shack before things quickly fell into a heavy silence. For what seemed like ages, the hillbilly simple stared at the author, his jaw dropped in apparent stunned shock and also hints of confusion, as if he was still trying to process exactly who his old friend was. None of the others really thought to interject, not even Peridot, who simply stood by the kids, completely uninvested in the ongoing situation entirely. Even so, the atmosphere between the author and the inventor was tense, yet unreadable, neither of them really knowing what to say or do next. That is, until McGucket slowly, cautiously, decided to break that silence and his own shock.

“S-Stanford…” the inventor whispered, his voice barely audible as he placed a ginger hand against his head. “I… It… it’s all comin’ back to me now… T-there were still a few gaps left in my memory b-but now… seein’ you… I… reckon they’re startin’ to fill in again…”

“Oh, w-well, then that’s good!” Ford said with something of a forced smile, one racked with hidden guilt over the fact that McGucket had lost those memories in the first place. “I… I’ve heard… Pearl and the children told me everything. A-and I’m…” The author trailed off, glancing down as if a sudden conflict had filled him before he shook his head, almost as if to clear it. “It’s… a shame what happened to you, Fiddleford, truly it is. B-but I am glad to know that you’re on the steady road to recovering from it all.”

McGucket flinched upon hearing this, his surprise filling in with something else. Something that seemed akin to hurt rather than shock. “Is… is that all?” he asked, arcing an eyebrow.

“I… yes?” Ford frowned, confused. “I suppose it is. Why do you ask?”

The inventor simply let out a small, almost harsh chuckle at this as he shook his head sardonically. “You haven’t changed a bit, have ya, Stanford?” he asked. “Looks like you’re still ridin’ on that high horse of yours’, just like you were all them years ago.”

“Wha—high horse?” the author repeated with a baffled scoff. “And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?”

“It means, you’re still just as full of pride as you ever were, Stanford,” McGucket remarked, his tone turning a bit sourer. “Even after all these years and everythin’ that happened, you still won’t admit that you were wrong about that gosh-darn portal of yours! You still won’t admit that you made a mistake!”

“Now, that’s where you’re wrong, Fiddleford,” Ford countered evenly. “I-I will admit that the portal was a complete and utter disaster in retrospect. It was something we never should have built which is why I fixed it by dismantling it altogether. At the very least I did my best to right the wrongs I had caused, unlike someone else I happen to know.”

“W-who, me?” McGucket asked, caught off guard by this accusation.

“Yes, you,” the author clarified, crossing his arms. “After our mishap with the portal, you were the first to rush out without even sparing a second thought towards helping me stop the damage it could have potentially caused! Even Rose came back to lend a hand after she quit, but you never did, Fiddleford! From what I heard, you were far too busy essentially burying your head in the sand by using that awful invention of yours to wipe your own memories than to help fix a problem that you were just as responsible for as I was!”

“I would’ve never had to do that if your cockamamie plans hadn’t gone as far off the rails as they did!” McGucket shot back just as harshly. “I tried warnin’ ya that portal was gonna end in disaster, Stanford, we all did! But the only ones you ever listened to were yourself and that confounded ‘muse’ of yours! You were as stubborn as a springtime mule back then, and you’re every bit as stubborn now since you still can’t see just how wrong you really were!”

“I’m stubborn?” Ford gasped, appalled by such a claim. “You’re the one who’s stubborn, Fiddleford! You had so much talent, so much potential to make a name for yourself, but you always held yourself back, even as far back as when we were in college! You could never see beyond just yourself, you never dreamed of anything greater, and that’s where you always fell short! You were content to spend the rest of your days toiling away in mediocrity, and look where that’s gotten you? Even lower than that! You may blame me for the sorry state you’re in now, but as far as I can see, you did this to yourself.”

“Alright, that’s quite enough from both of you!” Pearl suddenly interjected, quickly placing herself in the middle of this brutal confrontation. Likewise, the kids also stepped forward, none of them wanting to see such an intense fight between such close former friends, even if none of them really knew how to intervene in a situation none of them really had any parts in. “Believe me, I know just how upset both of you are over this… mess. We were all very upset over it too but… its over now… Like Stanford said, the portal is gone now. M-most of our worries from all those years ago are over. We need to move on. We have to move on. After all… we have much bigger things to worry about now.”

“Yeah, like the Cluster!” Mabel exclaimed boldly.

“And the drill,” Dipper added, a bit more seriously.

“And finding out who’s going to be in charge of building said drill,” Peridot spoke up haughtily. “Which, just in case you all forgot, is going to be me!”

None of the others bothered to argue with the green Gem at this point, knowing that they had more important matters to attend to at the moment than trying to deflate her obviously massive ego. Instead, Ford collected himself, letting out a long sigh as he calmed down to address McGucket evenly. “Ah yes, that’s right. Fiddleford, the real reason why we came here was-”

“We need your help,” Pearl cut in, deciding that this would likely turn out better if she was the one to ask McGucket for his aid as opposed to Ford. “We have to construct a robot for this… competition, so to speak, and Ford and I thought we would ask you for your help on it. After all, Fiddleford, if I recall correctly, you do have quite a knack for engineering projects of this scale, and certainly your vast skill and talents would be invaluable in helping us-”

“I’m sorry, Miss Pearl, but I’m gonna have to stop ya right there,” McGucket shook his head, holding a hand up to interrupt. “I love buildin’ me a giant, rampaging robut as much as the next feller, and if it was just for you, well, I reckon I’d be more than happy to help. But I just don’t think I’m willin’ to work on another lil ‘project’ with Stanford again, ‘specially after how the last one turned out.”

“Oh, why am I not surprised?” Ford huffed crossly. “There you go, limiting yourself all over again. So much inventing and mechanical talent, and for what? For it to all go to waste while you hunker down here in the middle of a literal dump? We’re offering you a chance to assist us with what would most likely be the first worthwhile thing you’ve done in years and you’re just turning it down out of spite?”

“Believe me, Stanford, you’d know if this was outta spite,” McGucket rolled his eyes as he walked past the baffled author. “I’m turnin’ ya’ll down ‘cause I think I’ve wasted enough time puttin’ my inventing skills towards your hairbrained schemes. I reckon my so-called ‘talents’ would be better used elsewhere.”

“Elsewhere, hm…?” Peridot muttered to herself, having become gradually more intrigued by this conversation as it went along. While the green Gem still didn’t put much stock in humans and their technical abilities, she couldn’t help but think that perhaps this McGucket human could be some use to her after all, even if it was for nothing more than the sake of leveling the playing field in her favor. “In that case, I might just have an interested proposition for you, you… McHuman or whatever your name was,” she began with a knowing smirk.

“Huh? Peridot, what are you-” Steven was cut off as the green Gem suddenly shoved him back by his face so she could approach McGucket herself.

“Well, golly, take a gander at you!” the hillbilly exclaimed in amazement upon spotting the green Gem. “And who’re you supposed’ta be? Some sorta lil’ green space alien?”

“Ugh, why do all of you simple-minded humans insist on calling me that!?” Peridot huffed, annoyed.

“Probably because you actually are one,” Dipper remarked with a bit of a wry smirk.

“Ugh, Fiddleford, this,” Pearl interjected, nodding over at the miffed green Gem. “Is Peridot. She’s supposed to be helping us with this drill project, but she’s so hung up over who’s going to lead the project that she insists that we compete in some sort of… ridiculous robot battle!”

“But I thought the robot battle was your idea, Steven,” Mabel whispered over to the young Gem aside.

“Huh, you know, I thought it was too…” Steven frowned, confused.

“W-which is why,” Pearl interjected evenly. “We came to came to ask for your-”

“Which is why I’m asking for your… assistance in helping me build my own ‘robot’ device, y-you… human,” Peridot interjected quite awkwardly and completely unexpectedly at that.

“What?!” just about everyone else in the shack asked in completely baffled unison as they all turned to the green Gem with wide eyes.

“W-what do you mean you want his assistance?” Pearl asked, looking down to Peridot with apt shock. “Just awhile ago, you were claiming that human technological skills were ‘inferior’ to your own. So why would you suddenly want to team up with one now?”

“I recall saying no such thing!” Peridot huffed, putting on a front of appalled innocence really only for McGucket. “And besides, according to you two, this one is quite adept at building one of these robots, so why not have him on my side?”

“Huh, you know, she does kind of have a point…” Steven noted. “After all, 2 vs 2 is much more fair than 1 vs 3 when it comes to just about anything, from fun little minigames, to huge, intense robot battles!”

“Y-yes,” Peridot agreed staunchly as she turned back towards Ford and Pearl. “And besides, he’s already made it very clear that he has no intentions of working with you, isn’t that right…. You?” she asked, glancing back over at McGucket.

However, before the hillbilly really had a chance to say anything for himself, the author was quick to intervene. “Please, don’t be ridiculous,” Ford scoffed, crossing his arms. “Even if he doesn’t want to work with us, there’s not a single, solitary chance in the multiverse that Fiddleford would ever team with the likes of you. Why, the very thought of it is-”

“Isn’t as plum-crazy as ya’ll might think it is…” McGucket spoke up, his tone surprisingly thoughtful, though rigid determination filled it as he turned to address Peridot. “Ya want yourself a robut buildin’ partner, greenie, well, ya got one.”

“YES!” Peridot cheered, completely ignoring the hand McGucket was holding out for her to shake as she heralded her victory over Pearl and Ford. “Ha! In your soon-to-be-very-upset-because-you’re-about-to-lose faces!”

“What? Fiddleford, tell me you’re not serious about this,” Ford said, pressing his way past the green Gem to address the inventor, who simply turned away from him crossly. “You can’t work with Peridot, she’s not-”

“‘Not to be trusted’?” McGucket finished, giving the author a critical glance over his shoulder. “Well, golly, Stanford, ain’t that the pot callin’ the kettle black. Still, just ‘cause I lost just about most of my memories doesn’t mean I lost all of my senses. I know what I’m doin’ here. Do ya think I’d go around dressin’ like this if I didn’t?” he asked, adjusting his large, hole-ridden hat.

“Does he really want us to answer that?” Pearl muttered to the kids, cringing somewhat.

“Augh! Enough talking!” Peridot interrupted with an impatient groan as she broke her way into the conversation. “The sooner we get these robots built, the sooner we can decide which one of them is the better one! Which will of course be mine.”

“I think ya mean ours,” McGucket corrected firmly before sending Ford a rather knowing look as he passed by him. “Unless you’re thinkin’ you can actually keep up, Stanford. Iffin’ I recall correctly, which I’m hopin’ I do what with the whole memory erasin’ tomfoolery I went through, ya never really did have a knack for robuts like I did…”

“O-oh yeah?” Ford retorted challengingly as he followed after them, flustered. “Well we’ll just see if your so-called ‘inventing prowess’ are really just as sharp as you think they are, McGucket! Come along Pearl, children. We have a robot to build…”

“Oh my…” Pearl sighed to herself, sending a concerned glace over at Ford and McGucket in particular as they left along with everyone else. “I have a feeling this is going to be a bit of a-”

“BOT BATTLE!” Steven and Mabel cheered in excited unison, already running on ahead so they could prepare themselves for the aforementioned, no-doubt spectacular bot battle that was about to take place.

For the next several hours, the barn was alive with the sounds of buzzing saws, pounding hammers, and whirling drills. Both of the stalwart teams had plenty of materials to work with amongst the various scraps and scroungings the barn had to offer and Pearl and Ford and Peridot and McGucket alike made sure to utilize just about every piece they could get their hands on to their respective advantages. Pearl and Ford were already more than used to working together on projects such as this, though their usual team rapport was somewhat shaken by the author’s intensive drive to beat his former partner at his own game. As a result, Pearl was quick to pick up on the hectic, almost frantic pace Ford seemed to be working it, disregarding any sort of careful planning in order to complete their bot as soon as possible, a sentiment that the white Gem adopted herself whenever she so much as entertained the thought of Peridot goading her possible victory over their heads.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Peridot and McGucket were a rather scatterbrained team themselves. The concept of “teamwork” was all but lost on the pair as they each carried out their own respective tasks in their own respective ways. The green Gem was methodical in her approach, her expertise in Homeworld tech giving her an advantage as she adapted to what she had at her disposal to build with. The hillbilly’s approach, however, seemed much more random and all over the place, to the point that it frustrated his Gem partner several times over. Needless to say that several small arguments broke out between the pair throughout the construction of their robot, yet even despite those skirmishes, progress on it carried on steadily, even if the technical vision behind it was rather mixed at best.

All the while, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel hung out around the entrance of the barn, all three of them eagerly watching the dazzling array of inventing at work before them. The kids were all unanimously excited to see what the outcome of this contest would be, even if they were largely rooting for Pearl and Ford to win. Still, they knew they were going to have to be the impartial judges of the competition to come, and together they had already thought up several challenges to put both bots through to see which team would come out on top.

“This robot contest is gonna be so cool!” Mabel exclaimed, gripping the side of the barn tightly. “Oh my gosh, you guys, you know what would be even cooler? If we built a giant robot just for us!”

“Oh, come on, Mabel,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “That’s… huh… you know what, that actually sounds like it would be pretty amazing, not gonna lie.”

“Yeah!” Steven exclaimed, enthused. “We could suit it up with all kinds of lasers and lights and we could paint it any color we want, and we could put a ton of stickers on it to make it look nice!”

“Yeah, like the one I gave Pearl and Grunkle Ford for their robot!” Mabel grinned, motioning over to the pair who was, ironically enough, fixing said colorful shooting star sticker to the side of their bot.

“Heya, kids,” Stan greeted as he, Garnet, and Amethyst made their way over to the barn. “I can’t believe you three and the ‘wonder nerds’ are still out here. What are you even doing anyway, working on building another rocket? Cause you better not be, if Pearl and Ford know what’s good for ‘em.”

“They’re not building a rocket,” Garnet clarified. “They should be working on the drill so we can stop the Cluster.”

“Well actually… we’re building robots now,” Steven shrugged with a small smile.

“Uh… why?” Amethyst asked, not following.

“We’re gonna have this huge robot contest so we can decide who’s gonna be in charge of building the drill!” Mabel informed brightly. “Its Pearl and Grunkle Ford vs. Peridot and Old Man McGucket in the Robot Rumble of the Ages! You guys gotta stick around and watch it with us!”

“Wait, what?” the purple Gem asked, still confused as she peeked into the barn. “McGucket? What’s he doing here and what’s he doin’ working with… Peridot? He used to be part of the Nerd Squad with Pearl and Ford way back when, what happened?”

“Um, its… kind of a long story…” Dipper said apprehensively. “Let’s just say McGucket and Great Uncle Ford didn’t really have the… smoothest reunion after what happened between them all those years ago.”

“Dang, I bet,” Amethyst crossed her arms. “Dude must be pretty miffed over that whole portal mess if he’s willing to pair up with Peri just to get back at Ford for it.”

“Aw, that can’t be why Mr. McGucket decided to work with Peridot,” Steven shook his head. “Can it?”

“I dunno, if I were ol’ whackjob and had a chance to take Sixer down a peg or two, I know I’d definitely take it,” Stan concluded, shrugging.

“We’ve all seen just how much McGucket went through because of Ford’s mistake with the portal,” Garnet added rationally. “In a way, I can see why he’d want to see some sort of justice for it, even if its in a small way like this.”

“Well that’s… kind of sad when you think about it…” Steven frowned as he looked back towards the barn. “If Mr. Ford and Mr. McGucket used to be such good friends, then they should be working together instead of fighting each other…”

“Don’t worry,” Garnet assured, placing a comforting hand on the young Gem’s head. “I’m sure they’ll patch things up sooner or later.”

Steven smiled halfheartedly at this, though before he could offer his thanks to the Gem leader, the sound of roaring engines rattled the entire barn. Everyone was quick to step out of the way as the first of the two robots, piloted by Pearl and Ford, gracefully rushed out of the barn and onto the lawn. The bot was sleek and elegant in its design, with thin, long metallic appendages, wheeled legs and six-pointed grips, and a small, repurposed, two seated cockpit forming its base. Overall, the machine seemed to built for speed and mobility as it swept a quick lap around the barnyard, with both the author and the white Gem controlling it in tandem before it made its swift stop before the amazed group still gathered near the barn.

“So, children,” Ford said as he stood within the cockpit, Pearl doing the same to show off her familiar blue spacesuit. “What do you think of our highly advanced automaton here?”

“Whoa…” Dipper gasped, awestruck as he stared up at the robot alongside Steven and Mabel. “So cool…”

“GIANT ROBOT!” Mabel squealed in delight. “And I love how the sticker looks on it! I told you guys it would be a nice touch!”

“Yes,” Pearl chuckled. “It certainly does pull the whole thing together, doesn’t it?”

“Ha! You think that’s a ‘robot’?” Peridot’s loud taunt sounded all the way from inside the barn as the ground began to rumble with uproarious footsteps. “Pathetic. Now… behold! My vision of ultimate power!”

With a thunderous crash, Peridot and McGucket’s bot stormed out of the barn, instantly showing just how much more bulky and sturdy it was. Its overall color scheme, dictated by Peridot, was green, and its appendages were stout yet strong, with massive pinching claws and a sharply pointed cockpit where the pair sat side-by-side to control it. Both the hillbilly and the green Gem let out their own rowdy, wild gales of laughter as they paraded their hulking machine around freely.

“Now this is what I call a robut!” McGucket proclaimed proudly as he leaned out of the cockpit a bit. “What do ya’ll think about our lil’… whazzit?”

“Hey!” Peridot shouted, equally as baffled as she realized just how much Pearl and Ford’s bot towered over their own.

“Ours is taller!” Pearl quickly exclaimed, raising the robot’s hand. “We win!”

“Ladies and gentle-Gems!” Steven announced, stepping up onto a small box beside the chalkboard where a scoreboard was already set up for the oncoming contest. “Welcome to the first annual Robolymics!”

“Woo!” Amethyst cheered as her, Garnet, and Stan sat along on the sidelines to watch the competition unfold.

“Psst, Garnet,” Stan whispered over to the Gem leader. “You wanna place a bet on which one of these nerd teams is gonna take home the prize? The smart money’s on the munchkin and the hillbilly over there.”

“Hmph,” Garnet smirked, adjusting her shades before shaking the conman’s hand. “You’re on.”

“This competition will test our robo-engineers’ skills of robo-construction and robo-piloting,” Steven continued on in explaining the rules.

“There are several rounds you all will have to go through,” Dipper added. “And whoever wins the most of them gets to be in charge of building the drill. Understood?”

All four of the competitors nodded firmly, even if they were more focused on seizing up the competition rather than really listening to the rules. “Great!” Mabel exclaimed, holding up a checkered flag before throwing it down dramatically. “Then let the robo-games begin!”

And with that, the competition kicked off without any further delay. The kids made sure to spell out the rules of each successive round to the teams, each of which was conceived to prove which group was better at designing and building the more functional machine. The first several rounds were largely standard fare, testing various aspects of the robots including balance, jumping capabilities, weapon capacity, speed, and strength. However, in order to fully prove which robot was better and which team was more up to the engineering task, the kids had devised a few non-sequitur categories to see which bot was the more well-rounded of the two. The robots had a chance to test out their artistic sides when it came to the dance and painting categories (the latter of which Amethyst gladly volunteered to be a model for and the result of which ended up being subjective overall). Other rounds were a bit more random, from jumping jacks, to yoga, to tug of war, to a game of ‘robo chess’, yet each game was indeed completely designed to prove who was the best of the best when it came to engineering and inventing. However, by the time just about every category had been decided, it seemed as though the contest overall would be destined to end in a tie, even up to the final, supposedly deciding category.

“Alright, everyone, this is the final event!” Steven announced, still stationed beside the chalkboard with the twins as the robots approached the pair of trucks there were supposed to toss to test their strength even further.

“You got this, P!” Amethyst cheered, shoving a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

“Get it, girl!” Garnet added just as supportively.

“Uh, y-yeah, but try not to win too much out there, ya nerds!” Stan taunted, remembering the bet he had made with Garnet.

“Ok, ready…. Set… CHUCK!” Steven shouted, and on that command, both teams’ bots tossed their respective trucks forward as hard as they possibly could. The vehicles sailed swiftly through the air, soaring high and far before they both disappeared over the mountain ridge countless miles away. All of the spectators were aptly stunned by such a powerful, incredible display, even if it really gave them no indication as two who might have won this final challenge.

“Um… well, looks like you both get a point on that one!” Mabel decided, marking a tally down on the chalkboard for both teams.

“Hm,,,,” Steven mused, looking over the final results as both teams waited eagerly to hear the outcome. “Well, it looks like our final score is… a tie! That settles it; everyone gets to lead the project together!”

“Aw, man, well that’s anticlimactic…” Amethyst pouted, leaning back on her seat.

“Yeah, it is!” Stan grumbled. “If the stupid contest ends in a tie, then who wins the bet?”

“Just wait,” Garnet advised, nodding back to the bots themselves.

“NO!” Peridot suddenly shouted, enraged by these unsatisfactory results. “This isn’t over! I demand that we have a tiebreaker!”

“Y-yes, so do I!” Ford exclaimed quite suddenly.

“What?” Pearl asked, completely baffled by her partner’s impulsiveness. “Ford, why-”

“We need to have a definitive winner here!” the author quickly cut her off before glaring down at McGucket in particular. “We need to decide who’s right and who’s wrong…”

“Aw, conswarnit, Ford!” McGucket snapped in apt frustration. “It’s a dog-gone tie! Just let it go already!”

“Oh of course you would tell me to simply ‘let it go’, Fiddleford,” Ford scoffed coldly. “Just like how you let go of all your own memories just because you couldn’t find a better way to cope with them!”

“But I got ‘em back, ya stubborn ol’ fool!” McGucket countered every bit as harshly. “And I’m tryin’ to move on, which is what you oughta be doin’ instead of clingin’ onto the past just cause ya think there’s somethin’ back in it that’ll prove you didn’t build a machine that could’ve destroyed the world even though that’s exactly what ya diddly darn did.”

“Ugh, enough of this!” Pearl interupted sternly, tired of being stuck in the middle of this constant conflict. “Let’s all just give it a rest already! We don’t need any other final competition to decide anything. This is it, we tied. We’re the same, we’re all equals here. Let’s finally just move on already.”

“No!” Peridot cut in fiercely, gripping her robot’s controls tightly. The bot lurched forward and before McGucket could even make a move to counter the green Gem, its claws latched onto one of the other robot’s tall legs tightly, holding it in place. “You’re just a Pearl and a human! You both are beneath me! I’ll always be better than you, and nothing I’ve seen today will ever change that!”

“Oh, for crying out loud, not this again…” Ford groaned, exasperated.

“Well, have you ever seen a Pearl do this?!” Pearl exclaimed, suddenly taking full control of the bot as she swung it’s leg around to kick the other robot back hard. Peridot and McGucket’s bot landed hard and flat on its back as the others all gasped in shock, all of them quite intrigued and somewhat alarmed by the rather violent twist this contest had taken.

“Ohoh, so you wanna fight, huh?” Peridot asked challengingly as McGucket maneuvered the robot back up. “Good! We should have done this from the beginning!”

At this, their robot slammed into the taller bot, tackling it with an immense amount of force. Pearl and Ford managed to hold their own as they pressed it back, neither side making much edgeway as they struggled against each other.

“Whoa, looks like things just got a heck of a whole lot more interesting!” Stan grinned, perking up in his seat as he watched all of the action unfold.

“STOP!” Steven cried fretfully as Ford and Pearl’s bot landed a brutal punch on Peridot and McGucket’s. “Giant robots shouldn’t fight!”

“Yeah! Not unless its in some sort of cool action movie or cartoon or something!” Mabel added just as worriedly.

“Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!” Stan and Amethyst cheered in delighted encouragement, thoroughly invested in the ongoing battle. Of course, their cheers soon stopped as Peridot and McGucket’s bot suddenly hoisted Ford and Pearl’s up and tossed it towards the spectating crowd, forcing them all to scatter away from the brutal crash landing.

“Pearl!” Steven cried upon spotting the damage done to the bot and the pair within it.

“Great Uncle Ford!” Dipper exclaimed, also quite alarmed.

“It’s alright, everyone!” Pearl assured as they pulled the robot back up. “We’ve got this!”

“Be careful!” Mabel urged fretfully.

“Kick ‘em in the butt!” Amethyst quipped daringly.

“O-or ya know, don’t do that!” Stan countered. “Especially since I’ve got good money on the line here…”

The moment Pearl and Ford’s bot was back on its feet, Peridot and McGucket wasted no time slamming their robot’s claws into it once more. Several more brutal blows were passed back and forth between the two bots, sustaining damage to both, but taking neither of them down in the process. Needless to say that tensions were high between both teams, especially as they locked hands once more, though it was clear that the brute strength of Peridot and McGucket’s bot was starting to win out against Pearl and Ford’s much more lanky, feeble one.

“Stanford, this is a bunch of cockamamie nonsense and ya know it is!” McGucket exclaimed over the din of battle. “Why can’t ya just admit that you were wrong and be done with it!?”

“Because I’m not wrong!” Ford argued, pushing the robot’s controls harder. “At least not anymore! I already told you, I fixed my mistakes! I’m still fixing my mistakes and I’m not going to stop until I’ve fixed them all!”

“Well, then I reckon, you’ll likely never stop then,” McGucket said with a bitter, hurt scowl. “Cause there’s still one mistake of yours that you ain’t even started tryin’ to fix yet!”

“W-what are you-” Before Ford could even finish, McGucket pushed hard against the controls of his and Peridot’s bot out of sheer anger alone, shoving Pearl and Ford’s back hard. In the back seat of the cockpit as he was, Ford in particular reeled back, his loose grip on the controls costing him as he ended up falling backwards out of his seat entirely.

“Stanford!” both Pearl and McGucket gasped in sudden alarm as the author fell out of the rather tall bot towards the ground below. Unfortunately, the white Gem wasn’t quick enough to maneuver her bot to catch him in time, and as a result, Ford landed hard, the blow easily sending him into a daze and greatly startling just about everyone present. Though, surprisingly enough, the one who seemed the most fearfully concerned was none other than McGucket himself.

“Ford!” the inventor cried, not even hesitating to leap out of the robot, leaving Peridot to control it alone and all but abandoning the battle entirely to rush over to the fallen author’s side. Still, the green Gem was hardly upset by this as she instead gained full control over the robot, ripping Pearl’s attention away from Ford as the robot’s clawed hands landed a brutal punch against hers.

“Good,” Peridot sneered challengingly. “I’m glad we finally got those pesky humans out of the way. This is between you and me anyway, you Pearl!”

Before Pearl could even say anything, the green Gem shoved her back again, keeping her from seeing if Ford was alright or not. Fortunately, McGucket was already on that case as he ran over to Ford and wasted no time in checking him over for any sort of serious injuries. “S-Stanford!” the hillbilly exclaimed, his tone rife with concern. “Ford, a-are you alright? W-wake up! Say somethin’ to me!”

Fortunately, the author wasn’t out of it for too long as he let out a small groan at this, placing a hand against the side of his head as he slowly opened his eyes to meet the hillbilly’s worried gaze. “Mm? F-Fiddleford?” Ford asked in rather bleary confusion as he struggled to sit up on his own. “W-what are you doing? What about the robots… and the contest? I thought you-”

“Aw, forget about that silly ol’ contest,” McGucket shook his head. “I needed to come over ‘n make sure ya didn’t knock that big ol’ genius brain of yours too hard after I… ya know, knocked ya outta your robut and all…”

“W-what…?” Ford frowned, still bewildered, especially as McGucket offered a hand to help steady him. “I… I don’t understand. You only teamed up with Peridot b-because… because of what I…” The author paused, trying his hardest to collect his thoughts and how he wanted to say them, only to fail completely. “I… I just… I didn’t think you still-”

“Cared?” McGucket finished with a small, but knowing smile. “Aw, hornswaggle, Stanford. I may have forgotten ya for almost 30 years, but deep down in my gut, I don’t think I could have ever stopped carin’ about ya.”

For a moment, Ford simply stared at his old partner in complete and utter baffled silence, unsure of how to even react to such a warm, kind sentiment after just how much he had wronged McGucket in the past. So, instead of saying anything, he simply let out a small chuckle of acceptance as he finally accepted the hillbilly’s hand to help him up and lead him to somewhere safer away from the bot battle still raging on behind them just as violently as ever.

“This is pointless!” Peridot shouted as she pressed her bot roughly against Pearl’s once more. “There’s no way you’re gonna beat me! You’re an accessory! Somebody’s shiny toy! Where do you get off acting like you’re your own Gem?!” At this the green Gem’s bot finally managed to get the upper hand over the white Gem’s, as its clawed hand completely pride one of the thin arms off of the lankier bot in a single, swift yank. “You’re just a PEARL!”

Pearl winced back at this, this singular reminder of exactly the kind of Gem she was made to be much harsher and more painful than she knew it should have been. The white Gem knew, and she had always known, that her lot, at least according to Homeworld’s standards, was to stand by and serve and little else. Her caste wasn’t meant to think or to act or to do anything for anyone other than whatever Gem they were given to. There had indeed been a time when Pearl herself had been exactly that; just another piece of empty, thoughtless property in Homeworld’s rigid, unfulfilling system. And yet… the Earth, humans, her fellow Crystal Gems, they had all shown her she could be so much more than that. She could go beyond what she was made for, she could be her own person, her own Gem. She could think and feel for herself and she could take pride in who she was and what she did and she had. And so, that’s exactly what she planned on showing.

“That’s right!” Pearl proclaimed, rising up a bit out of her seat as she faced Peridot fiercely. “I am a PEARL!” With that, the white Gem swung her first hard, striking Peridot squarely in the jaw and catching her completely off guard.

“WHOO-HOO!” Amethyst cheered loudly on the sidelines as everyone else gasped in amazement at such boldness on the Pearl’s part.

“Whoa, who knew Pearl could pack a punch like that?” Stan remarked, unable to hide the fact that even he was genuinely impressed with the white Gem.

“I think we did…” Ford remarked, exchanging a small smirk with McGucket as they both silently recalled just how resilient Pearl could be when she needed to be.

As a result of the white Gem’s blow, Peridot’s bot stumbled back a bit, allowing Pearl time to pick hers’ up off the ground to pick the fight right back up where it had left off. “What you’re saying may be true,” the white Gem said as her robot sprang high into the air above Peridot’s before it began coming down in what would certainly be a hard and heavy kick. “But it doesn’t matter! I’m still gonna kick your butt!”

By this point, just about everyone was cheering Pearl on as she came in for what would possibly be her final blow against the green Gem. Or at least it would have been if Peridot’s bot hadn’t managed to catch one of the long legs of Pearl’s bot at the very last second.

“…Uh oh,” the white Gem muttered, though she had no time to break free from the hold. Immediately, Peridot’s robot slammed Pearl’s hard into the ground, repeating the action several times over until she finally plowed the taller robot down hard, more or less completely breaking it beyond repair as its pieces went flying.

“Pearl!” the others all exclaimed in apt concern as they collectively hurried over to check on the fallen white Gem. Despite the harsh, defeating blow she had suffered, Pearl was only mildly stunned by it, even if she did look much worse for wear as she lay against the wrecked remains of her robot.

Peridot hardly paid them any mind however as she leapt out of her robot, her face still bruised from the punch Pearl had landed on her, though her expression was bright with the satisfaction of her triumph. “Victory is mine!” she proclaimed proudly. “Now I’m the one in charge! Praise me! Praise me!”

“Pearl, are you ok?”

“Huh?” Peridot blinked, caught off guard by the fact that the others were all surrounding the white Gem rather than her.

“A-ah yes… I’m alright…” Pearl smiled as she allowed Steven to help her up.

“Yeah, P!” Amethyst exclaimed, giving the white Gem a sudden congratulatory hug. “Aw, that was awesome! You were so hardcore!”

“Oh really?” Pearl chuckled, rubbing her arm with a flustered smile.

“Oh yeah,” Garnet readily agreed.

“Yeah, Pearl, you were the best!” Mabel exclaimed excitedly.

“Seriously, you were,” Dipper added firmly. “And you punching Peridot in the face like that has to be one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen.”

“It was indeed a very impressive display,” Ford nodded with a smirk.

“We couldn’tve done it any better ourselves, Miss Pearl,” McGucket said, tipping his hat in respect for the white Gem.

“Eh, it was passable,” Stan shrugged, unconcerned as he leaned over to Garnet. “So uh… you gonna pay up or what, shades? Cause it looks like greenie just won our bet for me.”

“Did she?” Garnet countered, her arms crossed as she smiled somewhat mysteriously.

“Uh… yeah?” the conman frowned, confused. “Pretty sure she did, right?”

“Y-yes, I did win!” Peridot spoke up, frustrated. “So why aren’t any of you listening to me!? I’m the natural leader here! She’s just a common Pearl! A-and those two!” she snapped, pointing at Ford and McGucket. “They’re just simple humans! I’m the one in charge here, not any of them!”

“You’re wrong!” Steven argued readily. “If Pearls are really like you say they are, then Pearl isn’t common at all! She trained herself to fight! She learned how to build things! And she works hard every day to be greater than she already is!”

“And while we’re at it, your pretty much completely wrong when it comes to humans too, especially when it comes to McGucket and Great Uncle Ford,” Dipper said knowingly.

“Yeah! Both of them are like total geniuses!” Mabel agreed earnestly. “They’ve built all sorts of crazy neat stuff like big huge futurey portals or mind-erasing laser guns, and yeah, maybe those things weren’t always used for good reasons, but they’re still pretty amazing on their own and so are the guys who built them!”

“Seriously, how do you not get it by now, Peridot?” Dipper finished as he smiled back towards the white Gem, the author, and the inventor. “There isn’t anything ‘common’ or ‘simple’ about anyone here.”

Needless to say that Peridot was just about completely baffled by such a thought, to the point that, for perhaps the first time ever, she was completely speechless.

“Come on, everyone,” Garnet said, turning towards the nearby wreckage. “Let’s clean this mess up.”

“Yo, Pearl, you should come wrestling with me some time,” Amethyst joked as they all began to walk away.

“Mm… I dunno…” Pearl frowned, rubbing the sore spot on her arm as they began to pick up the scattered robotic wreckage.

“You know, I bet if we combined the sturdy base of the robot you and Peridot built,” Ford began, speaking to McGucket. “With the speed and agility of our robot, then we could certainly build a force to be reckoned with!”

“Now you’re talkin’!” McGucket exclaimed, enthused by the idea.

“B-but I won!” Peridot argued hotly, not moving from her spot. “What about the rules?!”

None of the others so much as even acknowledged the green Gem, save for Garnet, who simply turned towards her and shrugged simply. “Welcome to Earth.”

Peridot was once again stunned into silence at this, the harsh realization hitting her that even though she technically “won”, she really had no victory to claim at all. After all, the possibility that she could have ever been wrong was something the green Gem couldn’t have ever anticipated and yet… her experiences during her brief time on Earth so far had already proved her wrong about more than she could have ever thought possible. So… perhaps, as ludicrous as it might seem, there was a chance she could have been wrong about Pearls and humans alike as well.

Though it took some doing, eventually everyone had managed to gather up all of the scattered pieces of Pearl and Ford’s robot and organize them back in the barn with the rest of the parts they were likely to use for the drill. Despite his best arguments against the Gem leader, Stan never did end up getting his money from his bet with Garnet, though considering the circumstances, he didn’t really mind as much as him and Amethyst were invested in asking Pearl about her defining blow against Peridot, something that still greatly amused them both. By the time the work was all finished however, the conman returned to the shack for the evening, leaving Ford and the twins behind to help the Gems out with the drill in whatever way they could in the following days of its construction. And though McGucket knew he wasn’t really obligated to stay either, he did hang back for a bit before heading back to his home at the dump, supposedly for the sake of analyzing the robot him and Peridot had made for any possible further invention ideas. Ford, however, had a feeling the inventor was sticking around for some other reason, and, picking up on that reason, he decided that now was as good a time as any to speak his piece to his former partner.

“Fiddleford?” the author began as he stepped up beside the hillbilly.

“Yes, Stanford?” McGucket asked with a bit of an amicable smile as he looked up towards his old friend.

It was a smile that Ford was hard pressed to return as he awkwardly averted the inventor’s gaze, taking in a deep breath as he tried to figure out exactly what it was he wanted to say. “I… um… well, you see I… erm… you know what? Here,” Ford took pause as he reached into his coat and pulled out a small, colorful square, which he handed off to McGucket, who took it with wide eyes of wonder.

“I-is… is this…?”

“Y-yes, that’s right, it’s a Cubic’s Cube,” Ford nodded. “I… remembered how much you used to enjoy working on them years ago, and… I just so happened to find one of your old ones lying around the old lab so… I figured I’d give it back to you as something of a-” The author cut himself off as McGucket presented the cube back to him, all of its scrambled colors perfectly lined up again in almost no time at all. “Well then,” Ford remarked, impressed as he looked over the cube. “Seems as though you really are just as sharp as I remember you being, Fiddleford.”

“Eh, its all that newfangled muscle memory or whatever it is the kids are callin’ it these days,” McGucket shrugged humbly. The pair shared a brief laugh before the author let out something of a small, sad sigh as he looked away from the inventor yet again.

“Fiddleford, I… I should have said this earlier but… I’m sorry,” he finally relented, hanging his head a bit in genuine shame. “I truly am. You were right back then and you’re still right now; I was wrong the entire time and I was far too blinded by my own pride and my dreams of grandure to see that. Honestly, if anything I should have apologized to you 30 years ago. Maybe if I had it would have spared you from… well, you know…”

“Aw, shucks,” McGucket shook his head. “Y’know, Stanford, I thought all I wanted to hear outta ya was an apology, but now that I’m actually getting’ it, I can’t help but feel as though you were actually right.”

“A-about what?”

“About how I up and did all this to myself,” the hillbilly said, sighing himself this time. “You weren’t the one who made me erase all my memories, I did that all on my own. I’ve spent so long forgettin’… Maybe I should try forgivin’ instead… C’mere, old friend.” With this, McGucket opened his arms out wide to offer the author a hug, and though Ford wasn’t often physical when it came to showing affection, it was an offer he couldn’t possibly turn down.

“Hm,” Ford grinned as their hug disbanded a moment later and their sights turned back to the robot before them. “You know, despite everything, this machine really is quite impressive… It’s sort of embarrassing to admit this, but… it looks like your engineering skills still far surpass mine. Which is why I’d be honored if you’d help the Gems, the kids, and me out with the drill. We’ll need someone adept at the craft as you to help us make sure the job’s done right.”

“Well, golly, Stanford,” McGucket smirked knowingly. “I think I’d be downright honored to work with ya’ll again, especially on somethin’ like this that’s gonna help people instead of hurtin’ ‘em for a change.”

“So it’s a deal then?” Ford grinned, holding out his hand to his former, now-returned partner.

“It’s a deal,” McGucket gladly agreed, shaking the author’s hand to solidify his desire to help.

As this touching exchange went on, Pearl couldn’t help but smile softly to herself as she watched it from afar. In truth, she had always enjoyed building and inventing alongside both Ford and McGucket back in the day, and the thought of getting the change to do so again brought genuine excitement and delight to the white Gem. But even more than that, she was glad to see that peace had finally returned between the author and the inventor, and with that peace came the chance to let go of the painful memories of the past and creature better, happier memories in the future.

“Ahem,” Pearl’s train of thought was interupted, surprisingly enough, by none other than Peridot. The green Gem had come to stand alongside her, an upside down drill in hand as she averted the taller Gem’s gaze sheepishly. “I-I have to admit, its… remarkable that a Pearl such as yourself could become such a… knowledgeable technician. Mm…” Peridot hesitated, still clearly swallowing her pride as she presented the white Gem the drill she was holding. “Why don’t we get started?”

Pearl couldn’t help but smile in slight amusement as she knelt down and took the drill from Peridot and turned it around. “You’re holding it upside down,” she informed before handing the tool back to the green Gem.

“Y-yes, of course,” Peridot remarked, flustered. “You know… those round appendages on your machine could be useful for something.”

“They’re called wheels,” Pearl said, still smirking. With this, the white Gem stood and led Peridot over to Ford and McGucket so the four of them could begin planning out their ideas for the drill together. Though the green Gem was still somewhat uncertain about the thought of working with a Pearl and a pair of humans, she decided that it was something she was just going to have to get used to for the sake of the greater good. After all, just about everything on Earth was strange to her, so how was the prospect of working with unlikely allies such as these any stranger than anything else she had already seen thus far?

As the four technicians met up and began throwing drill ideas back and forth, they were all largely unaware of the kids watching them from afar at their spot near the barn. Needless to say that all three of them were more than glad to see that peace and acceptance had won the day, even despite how intense the preceding bot battle had been. “Well, you guys,” Steven began, offering a smile to Dipper and Mabel. “It looks like we’re well on our way to stopping the Cluster.”

“Its about time too,” Dipper said with a bit of a grin as he crossed his arms. “The sooner we stop the Earth from literally imploding from the inside out, the better. And who knows? With Pearl, and Ford, and McGucket all working together, maybe building this whole drill thing could be kinda fun.”

“‘Grrrr, fun for me you mean!’” Mabel roared playfully, taking on a gruff tone as she held the Cluster sock puppet up.

“Oh no!” Steven cried in faux dramatics. “It’s the Cluster!”

Mabel kept playing along as she growled once more, this time pouncing on both boys and easily knocking them both to the ground, all three of them laughing all the while. “‘You think you can stop meeeee?!’” she taunted, more or less tickling both Steven and Dipper with the puppet by this point as a way of ‘attacking’ them.

“Aw, c-come on, Mabel!” Dipper laughed, struggling to get away. “Cut it out!”

Mabel simply roared through the puppet once more as the impromptu game continued, though needless to say all three of the kids were having a great time through it. “Ah! We’re doomed!” Steven chuckled breathlessly, even though they really weren’t.

And yet… if they failed to finish the drill and truly stop the Cluster on time, then there was no telling just how true that statement just might turn out to be.

Next: 

#jen writes #universe falls #steven universe #gravity falls #bot battle #steven #dipper #mabel #ford #mcgucket #peridot #pearl #garnet #amethyst #stan #goddamn looks like its finally done #only a month late.... #oy #sorry ya'll #crossover #fanfiction #back to the barn #keyword is robot

[ellawritesficssometimes]

This post will use attachment theory to analyze Russia’s attachment style – how he forms relationships with others – in adulthood. Unlike the case of Romano’s characterization [x], where you can argue that attachment theory is actually used, this post applies attachment theory to Russia for the sake of amusement. Although, things strangely make a lot more sense when you look at him from this perspective.

What is attachment theory?: 

Attachment theory focuses on the relationship between a child and their caregiver. Central to the theory is the concept of needs. A child relies on their caregiver to protect them, provide for them, and care for them. If all these needs are consistently met, the child develops a healthy attachment to their parents. This healthy attachment style positively affects both the child’s personality and their capability to establish and maintain healthy relationships as they grow older.

However, if needs are not met at all, or are sometimes met and at other times are not, this inconsistency causes the child to develop unhealthy attachment styles. As such, they develop unhealthy personalities and form unhealthy relationships with others.

The Ainsworth experiment was where this theory originated. To test the attachment styles between toddlers and their caregivers, they would put them in a room together at first. After a while, the parent would leave and the child would be left on their own. Then, a stranger would be introduced to the room and leave after the toddler had a chance to react. The last part of the experiment analyzed the toddler’s reaction once they were reunited with their parents again.

Being in a “strange situation” – a foreign room, absence of a parent, and meeting a stranger [danger] – created a lot of stress in the child. Since children seek protection from their caregivers, this stress and fear would typically cause the child to become upset and seek reassurance from their caregiver. It’s a survival instinct that innately kicks in.

Those with a secure [healthy] attachment style would cry or be upset for a bit but would be easily calmed once their caregiver soothed them. The healthiness of this attachment style means that the child knows that the parent is there for them – they can be relied on to satisfy their needs.

While there are several different unhealthy attachment styles, only one is important for this post. An organized/ unresolved categorization is where Russia fits best. A child with this attachment type functions better when their parent isn’t around.

This is typically seen in children who are abused and view their parent (s) as a source of fear. The parent’s care is inconsistent in that they provide for the child and the child attaches themself to them out of an instinct to survive; however, the abuse also makes the parent the enemy. In the strange situation experiment, these children would often approach their parent with hesitation or be paralyzed with fear.

As adults, their attachment system is subtle and needs to be activated. If they’ve had past traumas, such as abuse, then they become disorganized. This often involves dissociation and slipping in and out of consciousness. So long as they have trauma(s), they’ll be disorganized. Sometimes, they’ll act in ways that are completely dependent on others (activation), and at other times, they’ll be completely detached – perhaps from reality.

What’s Russia’s attachment style?: 

Russia’s organized/ unresolved attachment style, for the most part, stems from his relationship with General Winter, who acted as his parent figure. The inconsistency of General Winter’s care for Russia is seen in how he protected Russia from invaders and yet attacks (abuses) Russia on an annual basis [x]. 

It’s far from a healthy relationship. Not to mention that General Winter wasn’t always able to protect Russia from countries who were accustomed to colder climates, thus adding to the inconsistency of care that Russia received.

On the other hand, General Winter wasn’t the only one who altered Russia’s conception of what a normal human relationship is like. Having been conquered over and over again, in this case by the Tatars, Russia normalized unequal power in a relationship.

This is why I believe that he rejected becoming Lithuania’s friend when they first meet as children. They didn’t have enough “power.” Notice how Russia’s environment has completely misconstrued how he associates and attaches himself to others. What you’ll see is that just like General Winter, Russia will repeat this abuse once he assumes a position of power over others.

Point is, with a character like Russia, there is no right and wrong. He’s not evil, and he’s not good. He can’t have morals if he doesn’t realize that what he’s doing is wrong, especially if it’s all he’s ever learned.

As such, Russia’s understanding of friendship is warped. He believes that everyone is his friend, including General Winter, his abuser.

A good example of this would be when Lithuania points out to Russia that he shouldn’t really consider the Allies to be his friends, given how they’re all ruled by self-interest. Russia becomes dejected at this; he truly thought that they were his friends.

Russia’s Trauma:

We also know that given Russia’s particularly rough and bloody history, he’s carried a lot of trauma.

Ex: A happy New Year’s for him was not freezing to death [x].

Ex: He’s had several dramatic shifts in government [x].

Ex: His bosses have tortured him. In this example, they ask him to stop a tank with his body.

Ex: During the Stalinization era, he’s tasked with building a canal with no food or adequate clothing while his boss – presumably Stalin – eats in front of him and wears a parka [x].

As mentioned above, because Russia was subjected to so much violence, it’s been normalized for him. While this is obviously wrong, violence is how Russia’s learned to solve his problems [x].

Although, this isn’t canon, Russia’s heart falling out – to me – acts as a metaphor for the fact that he’s never learned what love is, let alone experienced it. Yes, he has his sisters, but they couldn’t always be around for him.

Russia’s Dissociation:

There are several instances in the manga where Russia dissociates to cope with a stressful situation.

 A common coping mechanism for Russia is to imagine being in a warm place, a long-time wish of his [x].

He also appears to disassociate when he’s threatened with punishment if he doesn’t build a steam engine [x]. 

In response to Latvia’s trembling, Russia starts shaking him around and then snaps his neck – presumably killing Latvia temporarily. Notice how Russia doesn’t even realize the scope of what he did [x].

Activation:

While Russia is childish – and therefore arguably detached from reality – there are moments where his attachment system gets hyperactivated. His childhood trauma is kicked into overdrive, and he becomes…terrifying.

Ex: When Lithuania outsources himself to America after WW1, Russia isn’t exactly keen to see the latter off [x]. 

Ex: He’s commonly spotted hugging and squeezing Soviet countries from behind to communicate his possession over them/ desire to possess them.

Ex: He asks Moldova to call him older brother [x].

Ex: In the present, Russia wonders whether the ex-Soviet countries consider him as a friend.

Obviously, given the physical abuse they were subjected to, they’re not very keen to be close to Russia. At the same time, they also appear to realize that how Russia experiences his reality and relationships isn’t normal. Again, he doesn’t realize that what he did was wrong.

Just to put things into perspective, from a criminal law point of view, Russia probably wouldn’t be convicted for his abuse, given that he lacks the mental capacity – mens rea – to fully understand what he did.

In sum, Russia’s not an inherently evil figure that maliciously inflicts abuse onto others. Instead, he’s a character who has experienced his fair share of evil, and because it’s all he knows, he inflicts this same evil on others. Of course, none of this pardons or justifies his past actions, but hopefully it gives perspective into why he acts the way that he does.

#hetalia #aph Russia #psych-talia #aph General Winter #aph Moldova #aph Lithuania #aph Estonia #aph Latvia #aph Belarus #aph America #aph Slovakia #aph Czechia

[zecretsanta]

Fic: Numbers and Figures

To: @grumpsterkitty

From: @lesbianpearlfey

Happy Holidays grumpsterkitty!! I was so lucky to be your secret santa! I chose the prompt “Anything from Luna’s POV” I hope you like it!

AO3 LINK

“Good morning, GTF-DM-L-016”

“….well, you still sound like dial up internet. Don’t worry, we’ll get that fixed. I have great hopes for you this time.”

—

“Good morning GTF-DM-L-016”

[GOOD MORNING, D O C T O R S I G M A K L I M].”

“Okay. That one actually made sense this time. Good job! Your ophthalmics should be working now, can you open your eyes?”

“It looks strange without the skin. How long until you get that done?”

“I think you’d look weird without your skin too, Akane. Don’t make my robots self conscious.”

“If you say so.”

“016? Do you know where your eyes are?”

“….”

“Okay. Good enough.”

—–

“016, you beautiful creation, I see you looking at me. Finally got those eyes working, huh?

“…”

“GTF-DM-L-016, how are you?”

“[I AM GOOD, DOCTOR SIGMA KLIM.]”

“You don’t even know what good means. You don’t know what anything means! How exciting it must be to be you right now.”

“….”

“GTF-DM-L-016, lift your right hand, please.”

“Good, and now your left.”

“Can you curl your fingers?”

“Count them out loud for me.”

“….Count your fingers out loud for me.”

[ONE. TWO. THREE. FOUR. FIVE. SIX. SEVEN. EIGHT. NINE. TEN. COMPLETE.]

“Good job. Make a fist. Now open your hand. Man, it’s so crazy how I say things and you do it.”

“Hold this for me. What do you think? Is it heavy?”

[YES, DOCTOR SIGMA KLIM].

“That’s right. Hold this in your other hand.”

“Which one is lighter?”

[……]

“Is the one in your left hand lighter or heavier in relation to the other one?”

[LIGHTER, DOCTOR SIGMA KLIM.]

“Okay. Lagomorph, make a note to change that name thing.”

(Compliance.)

—-

“GTF-DM-L-016, who am I?”

[DOCTOR SIGMA KLIM, BUT YOU ASKED ME TO CALL YOU, SIGMA.]

“Hmm. Try again.”

[….SIGMA.]

“Yes! Good job. I see your eyes are following me when I move. Did you notice that?”

[….YES.]

What does it feel like?

[INCREASED RANGE OF VISION.]

“Do you like it?”

[YES.]

“Can you describe what I look like?”

[SFDH -DFSGJF-DGFDHJHDSDS-]

“Hmm. Not quite yet.”

—–

“GTF-DM-”

“Put some skin on that robot, Doctor Klim.”

“I know. I’m working on it.”

“I’m serious.”

“I said I’d do it, okay?”

—

“GTF-DM-L-016, what’s the weather like?”

[IT IS CURRENTLY 67 DEGREES FARENHEIT INSIDE THE RHIZOME.]

“Akane, can we raise that two degrees– Nevermind. I said nevermind! I wasn’t going to say it, anyway. Leave me alone. Stop looking at me like that.”

“GTF-DM-L-016, want to know a secret? The number is 69. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

—–

“Okay. Look at me.” “….I don’t know why I made you look so much like her. I mean, I know why I did, because I have to, because that’s how I remember Luna being, but…”

“You didn’t really deserve this, did you? It’s not like you got a choice in the matter. It’s not like any of us here did.”

“You didn’t even get to know her. This necklace, this is hers. Maybe I’ll tell you about it one day. Maybe I’ll tell you everything.” “…Or maybe not.”

“I guess I was ready for you to look like Luna, huh? But you’re not really Luna yet. And you’re not her either. GTF-DM-L-016, who are you? What’s it like to be you right now?”

“I guess you’d say you can’t wait to find out. Well, if I didn’t know what was going to happen, I guess I would be too.”

——-

“Good news, GTF-DM-L-016! You’ve come along far enough that I think it’s time to give you a proper name. There’s been plenty of robots in this lab, but only one Luna, and I think you’re it. Congratulations.”

[……GOOD?]

“Yep. It’s almost like your birthday. Happy birthday, GTF-DM-L-016.”

[….THANK YOU.]

The man, Sigma, smiles. This is a good reaction. GTF-DM-L-016 is happy.

—-

“Oh, Sigma, she looks–”

“Yeah.”

—-

“Hey there! Can you introduce yourself to my colleague?”

The woman. Greying hair. [AKANE KURASHIKI]. Important, very important.

She opens her mouth. (She. Her mouth her eyes her feet her face her she robot alive alive alive).

[My name is Luna. It’s nice to meet you, AKANE KURASHIKI.]

Ms. Kurashiki looks impressed. She claps Sigma on the back and the two share a grin. Luna feels like she is part of the secret. She smiles, because she knows she is supposed to.

——

Luna looks at herself. She has pale skin and orange hair and a purple dress and blue eyes and white teeth and pink lips and black pupils and a necklace with a blue bird inside.

Yes!

Here she is, she is her, there is nobody else like her. She has skin and a face and she can walk and talk and she is happy! She is so happy to be able to do these things! She is Luna. Being Luna is a very important thing to be, perhaps the most important thing she’ll ever do.

Sigma is beside her straightening her collar and fixing her hair and Luna knows from all the information she has downloaded that this is something humans do to show affection, she thinks that’s what this is. But she is not jealous of humans and all their chemicals and synapses and things they can do without programming.

She’s Luna, and no one else can do the things she can. She was made for a purpose. She was made to help with the AB Game. It’s a very important project, you see. (What is it, um-)

Sigma seems amused. “Don’t get too excited,” he says, “There’s a lot of work to do outside this lab.”

“Yes, doctor.”

Sigma faces her. His face is tired and worn, skin wrinkled in a way hers will never be able to, but his eye still glows with pride. He looks her over, rough hands glancing over folds in her sleeve, smoothing her clothes to fit her better, positioning her necklace in front of her. She feels like a doll. She knows what a doll is. She knows so many things.

He is so strange and different from her. His skin, leathery and lived in. Raised scars on his knuckles from where he dropped a mug, hairs poking through the skin along his skin, dust and cells and oils. His body is a breathing, organic thing. His lungs, expanding inside his rib cage, his heart, always beating, red and alive inside him. Everything about him is so different from her. She is cold and still, hard machinery and wires that won’t fail her when she needs them. She is sturdy, built to last, and he is not. What a funny thing.

And even the doctor is a bit like hers. His arms and hands, sometimes too technical to seem natural. Little moments of stutters and stalls that remind her more of her own hands than those of a human’s. And his eye, round and intruding and altogether too garring next to his organic one, but she likes it that way. She likes him that way. All those parts of him makes her feel closer to him, in a way. A half robot. And her, a full robot.

His gaze seems to soften when he looks at her. “Alright, then,” he says, “I guess it’s time to put you to work.”

—-

Sometimes she finds herself missing the times when it was just her trying to grasp her own consciousness and understand simple things like who the man was in front of her and how she seemed to know such things. When it seemed to take all she had to just focus on simple things, much less follow orders. Everything is more complicated, but it isn’t a bad thing, the way she is now.

The entire Rhizome seems like second nature to her. Everything seems to be downloaded into her, and she is so in tune with it that it seems unthinkable that it wasn’t made just for her. All it’s rooms and elevators and hallways feel as comfortable to her and she revels in the small discoveries, like Ms. Kurashiki’s favorite type of teas or where the Doctor likes to hides the better rations for himself. All of this has been functioning for long before she was even a thought. The two of them, on the moon working, and now her too.

She feels honored to have been chosen for this role. Whatever they’re working on seems to be of monumental importance, and she’s an important part of it. Her! Some time ago she had not even known how to open her eyes or understand the things she was hearing, and now she was playing a part in an incredible machination of fate.

She hears them talking about it, sometimes, things like people whose names she doesn’t know and apocalypses, and Radical Six (this one she had heard about, she can recite facts about the virus forwards and back, but on one ever asks her to do so.) But more often than not, they talk about The Project.

She knows about that too.  A lot of the work has been done before her creation, and more often than not it’s Mrs. Kurashiki that relies on her for menial tasks. And whenever she asks, Mrs. Kurashiki says she will tell her more when it’s time to do so.

So she spends time taking orders from Mrs. Kurashiki, double checking puzzles and stocking rations and nodding when she is supposed to. Sometimes she won’t see the doctor for days at a time, as he is sequestered in his own labs, and sometimes he hardly seems to notice her at all.

But she’s walking, and she’s alive, and it’s more than she’s ever known to ask for, so she does her best to be helpful and supposes that’s all she can do.

And for a while, that’s all there is to it.

—

She finds him, as she often does, in the garden. He seems to alternate between B Garden and his labs, and in rare moments such as these, he doesn’t seem too eager to return to any particular thing.

She watches him. B Garden had also come along, in it’s own way, in no small part thanks to her. She finds a simple peace in the place. It is so unlike the rest of the facility, so many parts of it that couldn’t be replicated anywhere else. It’s just another reminder that it’s just the three of them, a little corner of life in this cold gray place.

But life on the Rhizome has been kind to her and so she does her best to return it’s kindness here, in turning the dirt and planting the seeds, and she enjoys the way the mud sticks to her cloths even if it makes the doctor sigh at the sight of her.

But now there isn’t much work left to be done. The tree that had been planted before her creation has grown into a sturdy thing, and it should grow long after any of them, she supposes. That’s what she likes about life. It persists. Even if it is just her and this tree, one day, it should be enough.

The rest of the garden has come along nicely. A shallow pool of water, an intricate laying of tiles below. The grass, soft and thin in the ventilated air. Even the waterfall by the outcrop of rocks is appreciated, in it’s artificial way, and she finds she likes the spray of mist on her face.

Is this what Earth is like? That place that the Doctor and Mrs. Kurashiki mention? Could it be like this all the time?

But it doesn’t matter if it is or not. She’s here, and this place is hers. It was built from the ground up, meant to bring life to the facility, and she appreciates its differences from the rest of the Rhizome. It’s real. And maybe if she stays there long enough, she could be real, too.

It’s quiet. Even the imported air seems stiller somehow, as if out of respect for the meaning this place is entrusted with. Every inch of it is a reminder of what the AB Project is truly for. And so she walks among it, reverent in the silence, a small part of this secluded paradise. Everything from the damp moss on the rocks to the stillness in the air was meant to be here, meant to be alive.

She finds him, as she always does, in B Garden. He’s seated on the bench but his gaze is turned to the side, as if watching something out of the corner of his eye. It’s as if he expects to see a ghost in his peripherals, and for a moment it seems as if he might be as she steps forward into his line of sight.

But the raw expression on his face is smothered after a moment, and he says “Oh, it’s you, Luna.”

“Yes,” She steps away from where she had obstructed his view of the unmarked grave and moves to sit beside him on the bench, smoothing her skirt out in front of her. “I thought I might find you here.”

“You as well,” he says, staring off into the off colored wall, “don’t think we don’t notice you sneaking in here to water the plants. The sprinkler system does that for us, you know.”

“I know,” she says, “I just thought they might get lonely.”

“The plants?”

“Yes, well,” her hand rises up to clutch her necklace. “You did dig up those skunk cabbages just last week.”

He smiles, patiently, “the plants don’t know the difference,” he says, “but I suppose it’s good to have empathy.”

“They’re living things, right?” She tosses him an experimental glance.

“I suppose. But not in the way in which they would have the capacity for emotions.”

“Well,” she stares at her shoes. “You could say I’m not living like that either. But I still feel emotions.”

“That’s right,” he lifts her chin and looks at her as if inspecting her circuits. “You’re much better in that regard. Much better than any seed you could put in the ground.”

She smiles against his loose grip, “Thank you, doctor,” she says.

He draws his hand away, and they lapse into silence. It’s one of the best parts of the B Garden. There aren’t any machines beeping, no engines churning, no gears locking in place. There’s nothing to interrupt silences such as these. She wishes they could stay this way forever, but she knows they cannot.

As if reading her mind, he rises from the bench and stretches, his spine popping at the movement.

“Actually,” he says, “it’s good that I caught you. I have someone I want you to meet.”

—–

And then there’s Kyle.

He is not like her. She had known that when Dr. Klim had explained the situation. He seems like her, at first glance, but underneath that stoic mask is a boy all the same.

Still, the idea of getting to do this is exciting all the same. It’s not what she was built for, per say, but the opportunity is a welcomed change all the same. But still, it’s strange, looking at him.

He is a human, and yet his flat, often bored tone betrays him to more of a robotic sense than even herself, who was programmed to hide such things. She is a machine with a human face, and the boy, Kyle, well…

“Hello, Kyle,” she crouches down and offers him a small smile, “I’m Luna. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hello,” the boy says, sullenly. From the proximity she can see his eyes through his suit, guarded yet hopeful at the sight of her, and she feels something soft and careful grow inside her at the sight.

Yes. She can do this for him. She can be what he needs her to be. And so she smiles wider. From inside the suit, she can see by the way his corner of his eyes crinkle that he is doing the same.

It’s a wonderful, wonderful thought.

—

Kyle does things like hold her hand and ask her questions, and he begs her to tell him stories when she tucks him into bed, and she takes great delight in doing so. And yet the glow in his eyes still catches her off guard, and she finds herself wondering if she could ever look at someone else like that, if she even still has it in her. It’s a wonderful thing, to be human. And yet Kyle doesn’t even know how special he is, when he talks asks about where his father is and why Sigma never visits, and the sorrow in her seems to grow with every question asked about the doctor’s absence.

“He cares about you, Kyle,” she says to his sleeping form. “He cares about all of us. I know he does.”

Maybe faith is something programmed into her, or maybe it’s something all on her own, but she can hardly think a harsh thought against the doctor. It’s nothing like the petulant, frustrated sadness in Kyle’s eyes, in the way his hand clenched into fists, in the way his tear stained eyes bore into another closed door.

And so she holds him closer in those moments and though his suit is metallic and cold, she knows that inside he is so much more than that. Maybe even more than Sigma can see. Maybe more than he deserves to.

And so the child fists his hands in her skirt and hides behind her legs, and she teaches him games that she knows are good for his developing brain, and it’s a wonderful, wonderful thing, for as long as it lasts.

And he calls her “mommy,” quietly, as if still yet unsure, and the way she scoops him up in her arms makes them both laugh, and it feels warmer than anything else she could have hoped to create. She is so lucky to fill this roll in his life, and to have him be this for her, this thing she didn’t know she was missing. And for a while it is great fun to be what each other needed, to be able to do this. Because he is small and he needs her, and she needs him too.

And Luna is happy.

——

She doesn’t really know when it happens. Maybe if she did, it could have been prevented somehow. She could have been more careful, done more to preserve this, or maybe it doesn’t have a thing to do with her. Maybe this is just one of those things that humans do, things they can’t be programmed around or taught to for see.

But it still hurts. And it hurts more that she wasn’t prepared for it, that it happened somehow without her knowledge, and her only tip off that it had happened was Lagomorph’s chattering in the background as he tests out all the puns and the mean streak Sigma had coded into him just that morning.

But even that does nothing to compare to the way something inside her seems to fracture at the sight of Kyle’s eyes, sharp burning with betrayal at the sight of her.

“Go away!” Kyle screams at her through the door he had just slammed and she is still frozen, arm raised to where she had knocked. “Go away! I don’t want to see you anymore!”

Something in this must not compute, and for a moment several responses race through her brain before she says, just loud enough to be audible, “Kyle, please let me in.”

“No!”

Funny enough, a part of her wants to laugh. She wants to ask Sigma if he encoded a sensitivity to rejection in her, if he had thought that far ahead when she was just a pile of wires and screws. If he had known how much this would hurt and then had done it anyway, just so she would know just how much it hurt to be able to feel like this.

“I’m sorry, Kyle,” she tries. He doesn’t know her well enough to tell that the softness in her voice is real, and she doesn’t know if she knows herself well enough for that either.

“Go away,” she hears a thump from where he must have kicked something with his metallic covered foot. “You’re just a robot! I don’t want to see you. He put you up to this, didn’t he?”

“I,” she pauses, “he did, but–”

“You don’t even care about me,” he sobs, “You’re just programmed to feel things. You’re just a stupid robot.”

This isn’t about her. She knows this. She knows from the rawness in his voice that this is about Sigma not caring the way he should, that he thought it fit to fashion a replacement rather than to put any effort into being a parent. This is Sigma’s mistake brought down upon her, but it still hurts as if it has been her own.

“I wanted a real mother,” he repeats, “I thought you were real. Dad tricked me. He lied to me.”

“He didn’t lie,” Luna tries, “He wanted to make you happy, Kyle.”

“No he doesn’t!” Kyle’s voice takes on a shrill quality, “Go away! I don’t ever want to see you again!”

And then he falls silent, angry and brooding in the way he is prone to be. And he doesn’t answer her when she calls or knocks on his door. And he doesn’t answer her the next day, or the next. And so, slowly, the resumes her old activities.

When she reports this to Sigma, he doesn’t even look up from his screen, simply muttering that the child was whiny, and that hurt too. And it hurt to see Sigma not care, and it hurt to see Kyle avoid her, and it hurt to see the way he looked at Mrs. Kurashiki when she visited. And it hurt even more that she felt this way, that she was able to feel this way. It hurt more than she knew what to do with, and so she sits in B Garden and looks at her reflection and wonders why she was able to feel this way at all.

—-

This feeling inside her has permeated all her wires and plastics. It’s in the places between her metal plates, every corner where emotions were not meant to go, and it seems to weigh her down, somewhat.

She doesn’t really know how the heart she doesn’t have could be so heavy, how she could care so much about being that are so different from herself. She doesn’t know why it matters to her that Kyle doesn’t accept her, that Sigma doesn’t care about his son. In reality, it has nothing to do with her. She was created to help with the AB Project. And this, though important, isn’t it. She wasn’t made to care as deeply as she does. But she carries it with her still.

It’s a careful, tenuous thing, weighing her down like the bird cage on her neck and yet still dragging with every artificial breath she is programmed to take. Everything about her is meant to mimic humanity, and yet Kyle is right. At her core, she is not one of them. She is a mess of parts and programs. She is a thing. And things can be replaced, forgotten.

It had been nice to think she could be one of them. But even if her feelings grow too big for her metal frame, even if she hopes hard enough, she will only ever be what she’s made to. And that hurts her, too. This limitation. The inability to be more than she is.

Perhaps that is the beauty of humanity as well. They can grow and change in ways she will never be able to. And even that hurts more than it should.

She finds herself envying the stillness of B Garden. The doctor was right. The plants don’t feel, and yet she still feels for them. She wonders on the life of every little thing, and it feels like something much bigger for her, much too much for her to handle.

These plants live, but they don’t have to feel. The grass doesn’t know it’s purpose. It just exists. It just is. But she was made to be much bigger than herself, she was born into something that had been in motion years prior. Even when the doctor looks at her, she sometimes gets the sense it’s not her he’s talking to.

She stops walking. She sees the grave off to the side. Tu Fui, Ego Eris, it says, without offering much more as to whom it belongs to. It isn’t like her to have that curiosity, but every sight of the Doctor hunched in front of it makes her at once wonder more of why she was here. She could be anyone. Why this necklace, why this face? Was anything she had now really meant to be hers?

She’s inherited all of it, her orange hair, her big heart. She’s borrowed this necklace just like she’s borrowed the Doctor’s affections, and even he doesn’t want her for it. It should be enough to just have a duty to fulfill. But Lagomorph wasn’t burdened with thought and emotions. It’s only her in this big open space.

And even with the life around her, nothing in this room was meant to exist as it did. Everything was manufactured at the whims of the Doctor and Mrs. Kurashiki. Everything she has, she has to give to them.

“I thought I might find you here.”

She whirls around, caught off guard, “Oh,” she gasps, “I’m so sorry, I was just taking a moment–”

“It’s fine.” Sigma sits on the bench, “I’m also taking a moment.”

She looks at him. She used to feel so close to him, so proud to be one of his creations. He seems older, his hair more gray than black, the wrinkles etched deeply onto his skin, deeper than she remembers her being. And yet even with his robotics, she feels more different than she has ever been. It is just another reminder that she is something that time can’t touch.

She sits down cautiously beside him. It isn’t like her to be having such doubts. It wasn’t what she was made to do.

“Doctor, I…” She pauses, unsure of how much she should reveal.

He nods. “You’re not as stoic as you would like to think, Luna,” he says, “in fact, I think it is a virtue of yours.”

She sighs. “Thank you, doctor.”

“You are upset about Kyle, right?” The doctor shrugs, “these things can’t be helped. It should be good for him to learn that he can’t always get what he wants.”

She winces, but can’t find it in her to respond.

He looks over to her, both eyes robotic and unfeeling. “You must think me cold towards the boy. But I’m telling you, it can’t be helped.”

“What do you mean?”

Sigma sighs, “The other versions of….”

She waits, but he does not continue. He seems to be thinking hard on something, and so she grants him that luxury.

“I suppose you could relate to this, Luna,” he says, finally, “You were programmed to do certain things, right? And there are some things you’ve developed on your own. If someone from the future told you that they remembered you being a certain way a year from now, then next year you would want to act that way so that that memory of you could exist for them.”

She clasps her hands together in worried thought.

He continues without noticing. “And so, a year from now, your behavior is already decided. Whether you want to do it or not.”

She mulls it over.  “So you’re cold towards Kyle because you’re programmed to be?”

He looks pained, “Not exactly,” he says, “I suppose there is some free will to it. But even if I wanted to be better, I can’t. Because Kyle needs to have these memories of me in order to act a certain way in the AB Project, when the time comes.”

Something clenches inside of her. “That’s horrible,” she murmurs.

“It is,” he agrees, “Humans are all the same way. There’s no free will to any of it.”

“I…” she watches the fluorescent lights play across the walls of the metal mousetrap they’re in. “I don’t know if I agree, Doctor.”

He smiles, tiredly. “You might, when all of this is said and done. Humans are…determined to believe that they can change things, but every decision they have is already laid out for them. It’s just the illusion of free will that exists. So maybe, in a way, you’re more like us that you thought.”

For a while, the only sound is the vents and the water, all programmed to act a certain way. The whole Rhizome is an organism, breathing when it is supposed to, functioning in the only way it knows how. And yet it does not know that it’s entire purpose has already been planned out, that it will never be more than it is now. And if humanity is the same way, and if she is the same way, then maybe that’s all there is to it for anybody.

“I like to think there’s more to it than that,” she says, staring off into the garden.

He reaches over to grasp at her necklace, rotating the cage between his fingers,

“Yes,” he says, inspecting the bird within it’s bars. “You would.”

She watches him from the corner of her eyes. The doctor, so elusive and mystifying. She had once thought she had known him well, and was the only one to do so, but the more she learns about the AB Project the less she seems to think that.

No matter how he may care about her, she is a pawn, just the way Kyle is. Who’s to say the way he’s treating her now isn’t because of some future premonition, and not out of a genuine desire to know her?

“You shouldn’t worry about these things,” he says, as if sensing her thoughts, “You shouldn’t worry about a thing, my dear.”

“I try not to,” she admits, as he holds the cage in his hand, “But it’s hard.”

“Yes,” he agrees, gravely, with something in his voice that she can’t quite place as the music box begins to play. “It is hard to care. It’ll hurt you, though I pray that’s not the case. I only ask that you keep doing it. It’ll means more than you know.”

“I will, Doctor.”

He releases her necklace with a weary sigh. “Have you heard the story of Mytyl and Tytyl?”

She has, many times, and they both know it. It’s something she’s required to know, though she doesn’t yet know why.

“Tell me,” he prompts.

And she does.

—-

The doctor was right, she realizes, as her functions shut down, as every bit that made her human slowly falls away. It is hard to care. It’s harder than anything she’s ever had to do. Because deep down, she’s a mess of wires and parts. But deeper inside that, she wants the AB Project to succeed. She wants to live, and she wants others to live as well.

But she wasn’t able to do that. More than half of the participants were dead, and now Sigma had elected to stay with her rather than escape with Quark and Phi. It was a selfish, irrational thing. And yet, she is grateful for it, as she sinks into his lap, as her body grows cold and heavy.

She is grateful for it, as she rests against him with a body that has long since been able to feel his touch. And she says everything she has been instructed to say in this moment, with her tired, raspy voice, and she says things she hasn’t been instructed to say. Like that she’s afraid to die, and…she probably deserves it, too.

But the B Garden is where she loves to be. Even with a Sigma who seems different than the one who had created her, it’s still him. And even if she’s not human, this moment feels like the most she could be.

Maybe in some other world, fate could be kinder to her. It could allow her to stay, and she really, really wants to. And so she hopes Kyle can forgive her for not being what he needed. And she hopes that, if she ever sees the Doctor again, he could forgive her too, for being in this state. But then her body is shut down and the thought is lost. And it was meant to be that way, too. He programmed Lagomorph to do that, just like he programmed her to feel it, and so far everything has gone according to plan. And so she hears him call her name, his voice heavy in her head, and she hears her music box wind down, and the last of her awareness slips away with the chiming of the blue bird and the single fleeting thought that she too could one day be free.

#zero escape #virtue's last reward #grumpsterkitty #lesbianpearlfey #zecret santa 2018 #submission

[velkynkarma]

Oooh for the ask meme how about all for Routine Maintenance??

All? Right, then. *cracks knuckles* Routine Maintenance it is! There’s a lot of questions, so most answers will be under the cut. Got a question about a fic? Ask!

1. What inspired this fic?I had just gotten into the Voltron fandom the month before and spent most of that time greedily digging through the archive for anything gen (there wasn’t a lot of it). I found some good gems, but the one thing I really wanted to see and hadn’t was a story about Shiro dealing with his prosthetic arm. There were plenty that covered the “mind control” style story-line, or dug into the angsty flashbacks of how he got it in the first place, but none of them went into ongoing day-to-day life of just...having an alien prosthetic forcibly attached to you. You know what they say--if it doesn’t exist, make it yourself! So that’s what I did.

2. Where did the title come from?It came specifically from Hunk’s part of the story (which was first), all about literally maintaining Shiro’s arm and teaching him routines for it. It’s also a phrase. And it seemed to fit!3. What part was most difficult?Probably any emotional moment in the fic (most notably in chapter 6). I can do medical research, I can write action, but bringing in feelings is just hard.4. What are you most proud of?A lot of little things, really. I like the painterly descriptions of Lance’s chapter. I like how I managed to convey phantom pains in Pidge’s chapter. That entire last chapter was just a behemoth to organize but I think it came out really well. 5. What do you like best about this fic?I like the overall concept. Even as far back as S1 we knew Shiro was a character with a disability, who lives with it but doesn’t let it stop him, but nobody ever really explored it. I’ve had people thank me since writing it because they had something to relate to, and I’m glad I was able to do the theme justice.

6. What do you like least about this fic?That it’s still the one I’m known for the most. Routine Maintenance was my first foray into the fandom and was written almost 2 years ago now. I’ve learned a lot since about both the characters and about writing, and on a reread there are parts of it that feel weak. I have much stronger fics that have much better defined themes since, but Routine Maintenance is still usually they one I’m known for.7. What’s a reference you’ve made that no one has picked up on yet?Honestly, I don’t think there are any, if we’re talking non-Voltron media references. I tend to avoid things like calling out movies, books, comics, etc when writing fanfiction, since it can sometimes alienate viewers who haven’t engaged with that other material. 8. What’s a bit that sums up your take on a character?From the last chapter of Routine Maintenance:

He’s never been more proud of any of them. And he’s not going to let them down, not now. As frayed and on edge and exhausted and in pain as he is for all the same reasons, they’re looking to him now more than ever for stability and support. Their entire world has just been violently smashed into the ground and thrown upside down like the shipwreck that had taken them there, and Shiro is just about the only thing they have left to cling to so they can try and stay standing. He’ll hold on for their sakes until they’ve regained their own footing. He owes them that much. So he stands guard over them, in a very literal sense. What’s left of his right arm his throbbing, his ribs protest, his head hurts, and his whole body aches with soreness and fatigue, but he refuses to sit, not even when Hunk begs him to take a break. He stands guard over his fallen crew members, ever vigilant, keeping an eye on the odd colored trees and the Galra wreckage. If an enemy comes he is their only real line of defense, and he does not intend to let anything hurt his crew further than they’ve already been hurt. Most important of all, no matter how scared he is for all of them, he maintains his outwardly calm and controlled appearance. He talks as normally as possible to Hunk and Lance, repeatedly reassuring them every time they start to look more nervous or afraid. He checks on Keith and Pidge regularly, and despite his growing concerns when neither wakes, and when Keith grows steadily paler, he keeps his expression neutral. And inwardly, the entire time, he begs, please let them live. Please let them all make it out of here okay. Please don’t let me lose one of them again.

Honestly, I feel this sums up Shiro in a nutshell, even now several seasons later. Shiro’s exactly the type to hold himself together and project outward confidence and control no matter how badly he’s falling apart inside. Most of the actual fic is about him getting caught in this and the others helping him, but when they need that support, he’s going to give it. 9. Favorite line(s) of dialogue? Two years later I’m still stupidly pleased with the pun I slipped into the middle of a dramatic situation in the last chapter:

Lance shudders at the words, and his hand tightens on Shiro’s. “But if…if it isn’t—I can’t—I can’t be a paladin without—I can’t even go home like this—““Shhh. Lance, calm down. Listen, even if it does come to that, and I’m not saying it has, it’s going to be okay. There’s no way in hell any of us would leave the leg of Voltron without a leg to stand on, okay?”Lance’s lips actually twitch slightly at the wordplay that he might have enjoyed more in any other circumstance. Shiro suspects it’s a shock-fueled, scared smile more than anything else. “R…right.”

Honestly it’s always the first line I think of, even if I know there’s more serious conversations and good dialogue elsewhere in the fic. I still just think of Shiro making a dumb joke to calm Lance down about the horrible thought that he may have just lost a leg.10. Favorite line(s) of prose?Lance wins out on this one too. My favorite descriptions happen in chapter 2:

But the bitter end’s getting closer. It’s already dark and difficult to see, and his eyes are still stinging in the mineral-crusted water, but he can tell his vision is starting to get blurrier and grayer around the edges. His body tries to force him to breathe again, and he chokes slightly with the effort of not. His right arm is starting to throb at the port from the tugging strain the prosthetic puts on the connection point of his flesh. Spots start to dance in front of his vision, bright streaks that seem to bob through the gloom as they get steadily bigger before his eyes…No, he realizes after a moment. It’s getting harder to think, harder to focus, due to the lack of air, but he comes to the baffling realization that those spots aren’t actually spots at all. It’s not his vision failing due to a lack of oxygen; there’s really something moving through the water, coming towards him from above, trailing teal streaks through the gloom. At first his thoughts conjure hazy visions of phosphorescent fish he’s seen in documentaries and aquariums, and it takes his weakening mind a precious long time to remember he’s not on Earth anymore, and he doesn’t remember seeing any wildlife like that so far. It takes him even longer to make out the white patches through the murky darkness of the ocean, dulled to a more grayish color in the near lightless water, but after a moment he’s able to make the connection—teal light strips and white patches. Paladin armor. It takes him longer to make out the color, because the blue melds so well into the ocean. Lance is only a few feet away before Shiro recognizes him, largely in part due to the way the helmet’s mask lights up his face just slightly in the darkness. 

I honestly just loved the entire description of Lance just appearing out of the gloom of the dark water and Shiro taking a while to realize what he’s seeing because he’s so close to passing out. This entire scene had a very painterly feel in my head and I loved trying to transition that to prose. 11. Where there any points where you were trying to do something specific with sound, vocabulary, or rhythm? I’m basically always doing this--that’s my writing style. I did have fun with vocab/rhythm in Pidge’s chapter, though, specifically with the phantom pains. Shiro describes trying to clench and unclench his hand a lot, but I deliberately kept from making it clear it’s due to phantom pains at first. I wanted to make it confusing on purpose, since by all accounts it’s confusing in real life, so I didn’t want to draw a distinct line between Shiro recognizing his metal hand was different than the phantom hand that’s all in his head. The reader should end up understanding what’s really happening at the same time that Pidge does as a result, even though the story is from Shiro’s PoV. The same thing later too, when trying to describe the sensation of fixing the problem.12. Imagery that is important to the fic, either while composing or in the fic itself? Again, imagery is always big for my writing style, and there’s too much in the fic to go into the details. How about we talk imagery themes instead? Several readers have noticed that Shiro rescues everyone in chapter 6 in the same order they help him in chapters 1-5. What less people notice is how each of the ways they help Shiro are also reflected in counter-point in the way he saves them:

Hunk helps him with a non-functional arm that was full of sand and grit while Shiro can barely move it. Shiro later frees Hunk with an arm that is still able to function despite having been impaled, while Hunk himself can’t move.

Lance reaches out to Shiro in an unreachable location and the first way Shiro recognizes him is by the lights on his armor. Shiro later finds Lance by the same lights, and reaches him in an unreachable location in turn. The arm that dragged him down is now the only thing that can lift up the weights now dragging Lance down.

Pidge helps Shiro with his phantom pains, by providing a solution that’s so simple and so close, and yet so far away. Later on, Shiro has the same problem rescuing her: she’s just out of reach, and just beyond his range of senses to be able to tell if she’s alive or not. He even tries to use a different arm (in this case, directing Lance’s) to solve the problem, to no avail.

Pidge actually has a second subtler one too: during her chapter Shiro recognizes he can’t actually feel or register his Galra arm as ‘his’ and tends to think of it as an object. At the time, it’s disappointing. During the very start of chapter 6, Shiro’s Galra arm is impaled, but he finds it doesn’t really bother him (or hurt him), since it’s just an object, it’s not really his.

Shiro tries to warm both himself and Keith with his Galra arm and warns Keith not to touch it as it will burn him badly, although this doesn’t work. Keith has to help keep him from freezing to death. Shiro later rescues him by using that exact thing he warned Keith about to save him, and it’s an exact parallel from freezing to burning.

13. How many drafts did the work go through?It’s hard to say. I don’t really have separate drafts in the traditional sense. I reworked the outline at least 1-2 times because that’s standard for me, and I probably spent a week editing the final results. But for the most part nothing too much changed. 14. Where you listening to anything while writing the fic? If so, what?Hah, I was listening to the Voltron soundtrack, actually. On repeat. 15. What were you most worried about during the composition? If I was handling disabilities right, and if chapter 6 in particular was a little too bloody for the fandom. With the former, I did plenty of research of course. But since I’m not an amputee nor do I have PTSD, there was always that little voice in the back of my head muttering, “You better hope you’re doing this right.” With the latter....it’s always hard to tell when going into new fandoms how well they’ll handle extreme injuries or wounds. Some fandoms eat it up, and in others it will get your fic basically ignored. I wasn’t really sure where Voltron fell, and chapter 6 does get pretty brutal, between Lance and Pidge being crushed, Lance’s compound fractures, and Keith needing to be cauterized. Keith’s scene in particular I wrote and re-wrote half a dozen times and I was extremely picky about the vocabulary used, because it was a very tricky line to write it in such a way that I was conveying Keith was suffering, but that Shiro wasn’t torturing him and wasn’t happy with the situation either. That meant adding some more emotional comfort aspects, which I am bad at. The whole thing was just a difficult mess and I basically wasn’t sure about it right up until the point I actually got comments talking about those scenes specifically. 16. If you used a beta, what did you agree or disagree on?I don’t use a beta, so nothing!17. Did anything surprise you during the writing?It got a lot longer than I initially planned on. Especially that last chapter. This really shouldn’t have come as a surprise though.18. Were there any alternate versions of this fic?Not really alternate, but Parasite Knight was a scrapped concept for the +1 part of the 5+1 idea (originally, with the whole team helping Shiro). But it didn’t seem to fit the theme of the 5+1, since the +1 tends to turn the theme on its head, so I went with the current version and recycled the idea of a soul-eating arm for another fic. Turns out that was a good idea since Parasite Knight turned into a beast of a fic in its own right lol. I did also shuffle a few characters around from their original plans. Before I’d decided a chapter about sinking due to Shiro’s heavy arm was going to be a thing, Lance was actually slated to be the one helping Shiro with frostbite (since his Lion has the whole water/ice connection). But Lance fit better for a drowning theme, and Keith ended up taking over the frostbite theme instead. That never actually started to get written, though.19. Were any parts written under the influence?I don’t drink or do any kind of drugs, so nope. 20. What did you learn from writing this fic?No real writing technicalities. I was able to verify I was handling disabilities well, based on readers’ feedback (something I’m always cautious about if I don’t have any background in the disability in question--I like to treat these situations as respectfully as possible, but sometimes it’s just hard to know if you really are without any scope of understanding). Honestly what I learned the most was that there was a niche in this fandom that I was actually welcome in. Many times I’ll write 1-2 fics in a fandom and that scratches the personal itch. But there’s never really any response from the fandom itself, so I move on to the next interesting thing. But Routine Maintenance had such overwhelming feedback, in a couple cases from some big names in the gen corner of the fandom, that it was encouraging enough to actually make me stick around. And in sticking around, THAT’S where I really learned more technical writing skills. So I guess RM didn’t teach me anything specifically, but it made sure I stuck around enough to learn things anyway. PHEW! That’s a lot of questions! Got a question about a fic? Ask!

#Velkynkarma answers #Velkynkarma memes #Routine Maintenance #Voltron #noisypaintersong

[aimforthemoonstudyblr]

Hello STUDENTS OF TUMBLR, so here’s the post I talked about yesterday. This is  a recapitulation for all the study tips I followed whether it worked for me or not. Just try what you think works better for you. if you don’t have time to waste on trying new methods of studying and then failing with it and trying another one. Just sit with yourself, pick a paper and a pen (doesn’t matter the brand HHHHHHHH), then think of how you study the best, what’s your learning style : check here for more , and based on that choose what will work with you, your school system, your personality, how you manage your time .. and all.

 After figuring out your learning style, it’s time for the first step : MOTIVATION . I can hear some of you saying that motivation doesn’t matter, and what’s matter is discipline, and I totally agree with that, but I think that in order to build a discipline/ habit we need a push of motivation to start. ( I can recommend you the videos that motivates me the most).

****How to get motivation ? ****

1-    Audios / videos/ music ( there are plenty of them online and for free)

2-    Quotes. I definitely recommend putting motivational quotes in every sight-reachable  place.

3-    Pick a paper ( until finishing this post, you’ll need a lot of papers HHHHHH) and write all the reasons why you’re doing this, why your studying?

Personally : my school year starts on 15/9 and ends on mid June. It’s gonna be a long year since I’ll have exams on June based on what I studied from September to May. So I wrote on papers 260 quotes ( one for each day). If you want to try it, you can do that on sticky notes, or just simple papers(if you want it coloured, print some themed backgrounds and write on them)  

 Now you’re motivated and all, take a paper and divide it to  :

1-    Write all the subjects you take at school, class them from your weakest to the strongest subject.

2-    How many hours you can study daily? ( on week days / weekends / holidays.. ) , here it’s better to underestimate than saying I can study 6 hours a day then doing nothing.

3-    The largest part. Divide the hours estimated for each day in a way that you give your weakest subjects more time to work on ( having strong subject doesn’t mean ignoring them, give them time to).

4-    Now in a little column, write why things are not going well: is the problem YOU? Are you the only one stopping yourself from being excellent? ( i’m asking these questions, because I WAS) or is it something else? Parents? Friends ? relationships? Mental health issues? ( try to talk with someone about your issues or see a pro) [sorry, I’m not a professional advice giver and I don’t have the solutions for all of these problems, I had one problem and it was related to me and my way of thinking and I changed it myself, please talk with someone who’s struggling with the same things as you, and I hope you’re all going well and doing good] .

Let’s move to the practical tips :

·         You have probably read this at least 1584358442 times, but I’m re-saying it, because it’s so true. PLAN YOUR LIFE. PLANIFIER VOTRE VIE. خطط(ـي) لحياتك. Plane dein Leben. I don’t know another languages, but whatever language you speak, DO IT. how to plan? You’ll need the paper where you wrote the subjects and the time for each one. Get a planner, start a bullet journal, get some printables online, create those printables yourself with Microsoft, or just simple USE A PAPER. You can plan for a day, or for a week, for a month, or the whole year. I recommend doing weeklies at the beginning of each month , filling each day with your regular activities, important days or tasks ( that you already know) , and then every time that you have something new, add it on its day. when to plan? As I said plan monthly, then weekly, then daily, and every night before going to bed check what you need to do for tomorrow ( it will helps you get out of bed next morning)

·         Don’t overestimate what you can do. It’s okay to admit that you’re not a super human and you won’t be able to sleep for 8 hours go to school for 6hours , socialize , eat well , exercices and then study for 6 hours. If you can do that, congratulations , but you’re damaging your brain.

·         When planning and you have a history project don’t just write ° History instead write : - brainstorming : searching for ideas - organizing those ideas - plan your project : I.1.a / I.1.b … - finding an appropriate related video - organizing all information + adding animation ( if it’s on powepoint) - making sure you have copies of it ( it happened to me a lot that I finish a project than lose it because of a click) and you can apply this not only to projects but to all kind of activities like cleaning : wardrobe – kitchen – bath.. first you will feel satisfied ticking a lot of tasks, and second if you didn’t finish all the under-task , it will be a task in progress not an uncompleted task.

·         Start your day with checking your planner and  doing a to-do list to get a general look on your day. Write next to each task how much time it will take, so that you know what to prioritize

·         Try waking up early , it’ll boost your energy and if you’re best concentrating on morning wake up earlier and benefit of morning , I do this personally but make sure in this case to get to bed earlier too.

·         For your homework, write any homework you get down. I used to say I’ll remember it, then come next session and figure out that I had 12 math exercices. If you have blank hours between classes, use it to get your homework done , so that when you get home you’ll only focus on revising, summarizing.. getting ahead in class. start with doing the homework for your least favourite class or your weakest ones or the ones that take too much time. Do it as soon as it’s given to you, so that you get it out of the way.

·         Think of installing blocker for distracting sites, whether it’s on phone or computer.

·         Related to the previous one, limit your social media time, it won’t matter if you missed out news like your cousin bought a new car or that your friend from primary school is in Amsterdam, you can go back after studying and know all those unnecessary news.

·         Get rid of electronics if you don’t need them.

·         If you’re working on a project, collect all what you need from internet them disconnect. Otherwise, you’ll probably gonna see a pic of a cute cat and you’ll click on the link and you’ll find yourself after 3 hours watching videos of a turtle carrying a cat on his back ( I do this.).

·         Set a clean and minimalist study space, and bring all what you need for that study session from the beginning to avoid distraction.

·         I’ll also recommend changing studying space often ( if that works for you), because scientifically every time we move around we force the brain to form new associations with the same material so it becomes a stronger memory.

·         If you can do it now then DO IT. There’s an Arabic proverb that goes: لا تؤجل عمل اليوم إلى الغد، فإن للغد عملا آخر. (Do not postpone today's work to tomorrow, for tomorrow has its own work) [see the first pic]

·         In class sit at the front : - I do this because I get distracted easily by my friends , plus i’m short-sighted. - you’ll hear the teacher better, also the teachers always answer for front-students questions because they look more serious than questions of someone sitting at the back.

·         ASK. Don’t be shy. There’s nothing wrong with asking, even if you sounded stupid, better sounding stupid in class, then being stupid in the exam. Profit from every chance to ask. Ask your teachers, classmates, google, parents, teachers that aren’t really your teachers (I don’t think they’ll ignore you). If you’re toooo shy to ask in front of classmate, wait for the end of the session, and go to the teacher.

·         While revising, put a mark, or highlight what you need to ask for, and actually ASK FOR IT. I used to just highlight questions that I didn’t understood and never asking, and guess what, one time on a Physics exam, while redoing old exams of my teacher I found so many hard questions, I said he gave them before, he’ll never give them another time. He actually did. J

·         After school routine: i take train to go back home, my way back home lasts 40mn. 1st I do when coming back is studying, because my brain is still in the mood to study ( when I’m extremely tired physically or emotionally , I take a nap. Health and Mental wellness have more priority then Studying for me).

·         when I go back to home, I don’t change clothes to stay in the sensation of being in school. Plus home’s cloths are comfortable but make you feel lazy. ( at least for me) . if you feel comfortable with home’s clothes and still be productive, change.

·         EAT WELL. I can recommend some good food for your brain : Omega 3 & fattyacids (eggs/ fishes : salmon- sardines .. ) – caffeine ( coffe-/ tea) in moderate consumption- Curcumin ( improves memory and boosts serotonin and dopamine which improves mood, it also helps new brain cells grown) – vitamin K( broccoli) – pumpkin seeds- oranges- dark chocolate .. also STAY HYDRATED : it improves concentration and cognition, helps balancing mood and emotions, reduce stress, increase blood flow and oxygen to the brain and maintains memory function. Just TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. ( if exercising works for you, do it. I didn’t personally try that, I’ll just start exercising this year because one of my final exam on June is Physical Education, and it’s all practical)  

·         Revisit older work on a regular basis to keep it familiar so that it will be stored in long term memory. And revise often.

·         This is how I do for revising sessions : I keep track of the review dates of each chapter : - 1st R : 2 days after taking it in class - 2nd R : 3 days after 1st R -3rd R : 7 days after 2nd R -4th R : 21 days after 3rd R - 5th R : 30 days after 4th R - 6th R : 45 days after 5th R - 7 th R : 60 days after 6th R with this system I’ll be able on June to remember what I learned on October.

·         Also, everytime you review, test yourself.

·         Divise the revision sessions in bloc of 20 to 50 mn, then take a rest, to give time to your brain to analyse to the new information. And every time increase the time.

·         Learn the same information in different ways : - rewrite it in your way - mind maps - explain it to someone else - youtube videos - class notes - others resources : your friends notes, if you have this in your country Para-scholar books (books made by other teachers –not by the government- where you can find notes, summaries, exercises with correction )

·         When revising, make a list of possible questions. Make quizzes. If it’s literary subject ( languages) , do a list of possible writings topics). For math, re-do the exercises given by teacher (the exam will probably look alike, since it’s the same person making the exam). If it’s a national exam ( my case), do the exercises given in the end of every chapter ( since it’s the same government giving the exam).

·         Make mnemonic* to facilitate learning new information. Link the information with a crazy story. (- Mnemonic = cutiing something down into an acronym, rhythm, word or phrase, to help remembering it).

·         Read information out loud: you’re mentally storing it in two ways : seeing and hearing it.

·         Talk to yourself , imagine you’re explaining it to someone else. Move while reading your notes. I don’t know why but It works for me.

·         In one sitting just focus on one topic. But don’t stick to the same topic for the whole day, or the whole after-school, your brain will feel that he’s not learning something new, and he’ll stop accepting new information.

·         Don’t memorize in one sitting rather break up the info into small chunks and review them consistently over a long period of time.

·         Before every exam make a checklist of things you need to know. It will help you get an overview of the material.

·         Start studying for an exam earlier, you’ll have more time in case you stuck on some points. Also you don’t know what can happen, you could get sick or an emergency ruins your plans.

·         Work on your psychic state. If you have toxic relations, get them out of your life. You need all your brain capacity, you can’t just waste it on toxic things. If you feel like needing help, ask for it.

·         HELP YOUR FRIENDS. (if you’re not religious, ignore the rest of this point, and just do this because you’re a great human <3 , if you’re religious: I had a teacher that used to always say this to us : “Help each other because who only loves himself (selfish), God doesn’t love him”).

·         DON’T BE SOO HARD ON YOURSELF. TAKE A DAY OFF IF YOU’VE DONE WELL ALL THE WEEK. I saw this on a youtube video: you can make a system of scoring for yourself , everytime you reach a score you’ll do something fun : go to the cinema, go on a train trip, go to the down town, or just lie in bed and watch your favourite movie. REWARD YOURSELF.

  I can help with other tips, I’m just busy these days, maybe all go back later and add some more.

I hope this is useful for you.

If anyone have any remark or questions, please don’t be shy.

   (excuse my English) .

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