#freya’s emotional support

[sirianasims]

It was still too early for me to sleep, so I decided to call my mom. She and Conrad lived in a giant mansion in Del Sol Valley. They were rolling in cash with her investments paying off and him making it big as the star of a really popular sci-fi series. I hadn’t watched it myself, but I knew he got rave reviews, especially from women. Trisha had freaked out when she heard that he was my stepdad.

I’d only been to the mansion a few times after they moved, but the view was spectacular. The place was way too big for my taste, though, too empty for just two people, although they threw a lot of parties. I’d rather have a smaller house and a bigger family, but I guess they didn’t have that choice.

My mother picked up immediately as usual. “Hi, sweetie! So nice to hear from you! How’s this semester going so far?”

“Hi mom. It’s… great. Everything’s pretty great… Actually, it’s not. Mom, am I a prude?”

She laughed.

“Sweetie! Why do you ask? Did someone call you Mrs. Crumplebottom again?”

“No, it’s just… It seems like everyone around me is dating and stuff, and I’m apparently the only one who thinks it’s better to wait a bit.”

“Right. I mean, your father and I were probably not the best role models for… correct behaviour, sweetie. But this is not about what you should and shouldn’t do, it’s about what you want. And if waiting is what you really want…”

She trailed off, clearly distracted.

“But what if I’m not sure what I… Mom, is that Conrad?”

She giggled.

“… No?”

“Mom, I can literally hear him breathing.”

Conrad’s smooth baritone replied somewhere in the background.

“Hey Freya, hope you’re having a good semester. You should come visit soon, your mother misses you.”

“Thanks, Conrad. I better leave you to it, mom. Bye.”

I hung up before she could reply.

beginning / previous / next

#duchellilegacy #duchellichapters #duchelligen4 #freya duchelli #katherine gilscarbo #conrad richards #stupid sexy conrad jfc #yes she brought a bunch of trophies to uni #those are her emotional support trophies

[littlefreya]

Babe, u alright? You haven't touched your emotional support nut sack for a while

😂😘🖤

🤣🤣🤣🤣 imagine just sitting with him and massaging his sack while you work and you are nervous in order to calm yourself down 🤣🤣

“Sy! Where are you?! I have a presentation at 9!!!”

#ask freya #emotional support sack #wolvesandhoundshowltogether

[sofasoap]

Sofasoap's Call of Duty Fic Rec

Always wanted to make a list of my very subjective CoD fic rec list, and also I promised my good buddy @groguspicklejar ( famous author of Beloved series) a list of fic recs, let me list some of my beautiful mutual's and some amazing writers and artists so they can go binge read.

Edit : I'll keep adding artist/writers on as I go. When my brain cells is functioning.

@saltofmercury -Let's start off with the mother of my Mini MacTavish. The one who made me fell in love and hit the nail in the coffin for CoD fandom.

If you are into König, her " Break-in" series is a must read. check out her Soap fics too :) Masterlist

@floral-force - My bestie! delicious Simon/Ghost fics.

American Hospitality is my favourite. Or honeypot is guarantee making you crave for more :)

Check out their Mando fics too :)

@a-small-writer-in-a-big-world - You want slow burn? check out lovely Bear's "The Roommate Series". Wonderful progression of relationship between Simon and his room mate. Your Friendly Neighbor Soap and Shy reader, OH SO CUTE.

@deadbranch - Spy and Cold war style fics? You are in the right place. The killing moon and Dying sun series. Gut wrenching.

or check out the light hearted None Taken ( personal favourite!), threesome fics? Goth style Reader? Check out their MASTERLIST for full list of goodies.

@brewed-pangolin The president of "Soap Squad" club.

Fireside Whiskey - personal favourite. Soft and thoughtful Soap is just heaven. Kati's page is full of wonderful Soap deliciousness. check it out if you want some Soap fun.

@writeforfandoms  - Jen jen jen jen jen. Multifandom talent. AU Prodigy. But let's focus on the CoD here, Puppy Love - Price and puppy? can't go wrong with that. Born for Greatness and Howlin' For You Shifter!AU is my latest obsession here.

@random-thot-generator - Kris, The princess of Thotland and Thotlandia. Their latest work: A Patient Man - had me all hot and bothered. Sweet sweet Rudy. OH how can you be so sexy.

@jynxmirage, Jynx!!!! the one I blame for falling into Top Gun fandom. but that's not the point :P

Communication is Key - my current obsession :) Soft caring Price, oh give me this Captain price any day...

@as-is-above-so-below  - Oh Gezez, Simon X OC ( Freya ) fic The Captain is utterly brilliant. Angst, suspension, Thirst, smut... you name it, you get it.

@roosterr - my Fellow Nikolai fanatic, check out her "guardian angel"

series, action action action and of course, love story :)

@siilvan - another one of my fellow Nikolai fanatic, Aqua Regia

series , Nikolai the flirt, sexy flirt , complete with smut * smirk *

@homicidal-slvt - How can I forget the spark to my Lastochka series?

and one of my biggest supporter.

Check out their creative CoD Headcanons and full list of CoD works that will guarantee satisfaction.

@nrdmssgs - to round off my Nikolai fanatic club , and also brilliant artist, A heart full of pity series is one of my latest obsession featuring good old Nikolai.

@captainpriceslover - my crack fic inspo buddy ( miss you a lot!!!). the one gifted me ideas of Soap dispensers lol.

aiaigasa (相合傘) - featuring our TF141 sweet boy, Gaz, had my heart melting.

@starstruckmiraclekitty  - You want H/C and scenarios? * falling out of the bag * here is the place to go. :)

@random0lover - you want soft fluffy Soap? Hot Chocolate & Hoodies, you want angsty type of story? Open Wounds and War Paint

you get all with Kat!!!

@lethalchiralium , how can I forget Keri! ( I knew I forgot someone.. argh )

@namedlunagoddess - another 3Drender goddess. OH CHECK OUT HER Sowa Team fic if you are into Gromsko, its HOT SMUTTY DELICIOUS FIC.

The Happiness series, don’t let the title fool ya (well it does bring you happiness reading such talented writing) this story is like washing machine, throws your emotions all over the place, let you grip onto your chair, wanting more.

@mistydeyes so many awesome stories to choose from! My current favourite is "choose your flowers, carefully" Good old Gaz x reader story, and one of my favourite trope - childhood to lovers 🥺 please go check it out!

Now , Some brilliant artists:

@shkretart - This utterly utterly talented person, Price and Nikolai and Simon, will have your nose bleeding within 0.1 seconds.

@ave661 - out of this world 3Drenders always have my eyes popping out of the socket.

@nrdmssgs - mentioned once, should mention again, beautiful art :)

@wombywoo - TF141 boys in their dress uniform? YES PLEASE.

@loneghostwolf oh, another wonderful 3D render artist that bless us with wonderful food of the CoD boys

@hffhifjou - You want rugby boys? You get rugby boys :) and football. and all sort of deliciousness :)

@lululandd  - FROGGY CoD boys!!!!!!!! and wonderful fics too, please check THEM OUT MASTERLIST

I am sorry If I miss out anyone. after 13+ hours at work I am exhausted.

#fic rec #my wonderful mutuals #and talented writers #and talented artists #simon ghost riley #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #rodolfo parra #alejandro vargas #cod #task force 141 #könig #könig call of duty #cod mw2 #reader fics #oc fics #call of duty artists #simon ghost riley x reader #captain john price x reader #johnny soap mactavish x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #rodolfo parra x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #könig x reader #artist rec

[lo1k-diamonds]

Call You Mine💜 Chapter 1

PAIRING: idol!Yoongi x OC

SUMMARY: Freya despises everything soulmate-related, but one day her soulmate shows out of nowhere and turns everything upside down.

"Why didn’t you reach out to me?" Her eyes watered in response to his words and he was certain. "You knew who I was, how I was suffering." It pained him to say so, but he knew it was true. It had to be a conscious decision. And he had to know why.

A slowburn rejection soulmate story to make you fall in love with Min Yoongi (again).

WORD COUNT: 7.4k (Total: 297k)

GENRE: Rejection, Soulmate AU, s2l

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: angst, huge ass story that is an emotional rollercoaster, rejection (tho it has a happy ending), OC has a strong personality and flaws (all my characters do really), desperation, explicit sexual content, semipublic I guess?, riding, consensual but there's conflict, soulmate bond is inescapable and shit happens

(You can also read it on AO3, originally posted in December 2022)

A.N. I have this poll I've been meaning to do about my soulmate series and to do so, I thought I should probably introduce those stories first 😅😋Yoongi's story is the third of the Soul Palette Series (but the one that started it all). Again, it is a realistic rejection soulmate story because I wanted a story where the female character doesn't lose her backbone as soon as [insert soulmate] shows in the picture/has sex. Lots of angst and fighting until the stars align ;)

"Poetry, music, a painting, they don’t save the world. But they save the minute. And that is enough.” Matilde Campilho

What were the odds?

“Freya, are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, I am,” she answered nonchalantly, looking out through the car window.

Her mood soured with the conversation and the woman steering the wheel sighed. “Whenever the subject of soulmates gets brought up you just become…” Freya gave her an ice-cold look from the shotgun seat. That made the woman mad, “Insufferable.”

Freya smirked through her pain and looked away again. 

The woman sighed again, “We’ve been friends for almost nine years. Don’t you think I know you by now?”

Freya placed her elbow on the car door, supporting her chin on her hand. Her fingers covered her mouth strategically. She knew the lecture that was about to happen, Lidia never missed a chance to try and change her mind about this topic. She didn’t have the heart or energy to fight it anymore.

“Soulmates are each other's halves,” she started and Freya just clenched her jaw. “You were born with one, two parts of a whole.” Freya couldn’t have heard it or learned it better if she was in primary school. Sarcastic thoughts like that would flood her every time Lidia pulled that sermon on her. “Just because barely half the population finds theirs, does not mean yours isn’t out there.”

“Sure, he might be out there, but I wish to be like the other half of the population. You know, the one that was able to live happily by being with the people they chose to be with,” Freya said with a hint of victory. 

“Fair, but it doesn’t diminish the fact that their soulmates are still out there. They might have never met, but that doesn’t mean one should just ignore it or—”

“I’m not ignoring it,” Freya cut, annoyed. “I told you, I never met that person. Why would I lie!”

“I don’t know, maybe because you hate the idea of soulmates so much!” Lidia yelled back, fortunately without taking her eyes out of the traffic. Motorcycles were insane, trying to get in between the moving cars to get ahead. Freya was happy it was Lidia driving them to the venue. Lidia took a deep breath, “If something happened to him, you know you can tell me…”

Freya sighed, feeling stuck in the same loop, “I wouldn’t know, I’ve never met him.”

She hoped that would be the end of it, for now at least. Lidia seemed fixated on the idea that she was lying about her soulmate, that something tragic had happened, or that she was avoiding the person. Which didn’t make any sense according to her own rules, for fuck’s sake! Wouldn’t she be sick and whatnot if that was the case?

“Fine,” Lidia relented, as she always did when confronted with Freya's bitterness. “I would just like you to be open-minded when you do.”

Freya bit her tongue to hold back her remark and let the car fall into silence. She hated that topic and now it was stuck in her mind. She had never met that person and she never wanted to. She had no open-mindedness to offer because she would never be okay with it. And she wished she could just yell it out until it got through Lidia’s thick sand castles and baby cupids and stupid pink heartshaped butterflies: meeting your soulmate was terrible.

Sure they were supposed to be your other half, but they could literally be on the other side of the world. With different cultures and upbringings, you could be paired with a terrorist, misogynist, psychopath, the list went on. Who was it to say that person would actually fit your personality and values? Absolutely nothing, as history showed. Quite frankly, the fifty percent of the populace that never met them were the lucky ones. Never meeting them meant never experiencing withdrawals of absence. Never bending or nullifying your beliefs and values for the sake of someone else that, though unique, was probably not even the best match for you.

Because let’s face it: though science had proven its existence, who was to say the bond meant the same to everyone, or that it should be the same? For scientists, it was perceived more as an absolute physical attraction that would lead to the best procreation. That had nothing to do with love, with fated partners, or whatever else was mediatized. It all looked more like a romanticized publicity trope used to sell way more chocolates, flowers, and cards than Valentine’s Day. Or to make people feel misfitted and incomplete until they did find that person, instigating them to consume goods, programs, matchmaking events, anything that could speed that along. Why should anyone live with the unrelenting weight of not having met someone they never needed? That could ruin them, their lives? It was all terrible!

She would have known if she had met that person. Though she in general avoided physical contact, the mere presence of the other person was supposed to be enough for the both of them to know. She of course had no idea what it would feel like, soulbonds were also reported with different intensities for different people, but she was sure she’d know if that fateful moment ever occurred. Moreover, she would feel the withdrawal. Though tolerable to some, especially with medication, it would be impossible not to feel anything. She knew that’s how it would always play out: even if she avoided them and ran through the nearest exit as soon as she felt the bond, the need would hunt her, both of them, for as long as they lived. That was something she was willing to endure, though she honestly hoped she never had to. If she never met him, she’d never have to. So, she wished she never would. Simple.

Freya glanced at Lidia, who was now pulling over the security of the event and showing them her badge. Lidia couldn’t possibly understand her standpoint, and as much as they would fight about it, Freya wasn’t interested in shattering her dreams. If Lidia could one day live happily ever after with her fated mate and actually be happy, Freya would gladly support her. She just couldn’t be deluded by the idea like Lidia.

Their nine years of friendship were very precious to Freya. Though the focus on her career had led her astray from many of her friendships, Lidia always stuck by her. She was one of her dearest friends. She would always call and catch up on her, whether Freya was at a fashion runway, strike, or in a warzone. Maybe that was why Lidia was the only person she ever gave two cents to in regard to soulbonding. Everyone else was free to be their own idiot, but Lidia was her idiot. Freya didn’t want to see her get hurt. Lidia felt the exact same way, she knew that. It was the only reason they fought about it in the first place.

Lidia parked the car in the underground parking lot and Freya was forced to move. They were still by the entrance of the arena, the lights from the streets made their way to where they were. Lidia opened the trunk and Freya got her material ready. There was noise in the air and she kept trying to figure out what it was.

Lidia closed the trunk when Freya gave the nod and Freya’s blue eyes widened in shock. Beyond the entrance, behind the security barrier, there was a sea of people. People chanting, jumping, and screaming. 

Lidia was smirking at the sight, “Not your typical warzone, is it?”

Freya pulled her camera that was hanging on her chest to her face, regulating the lens to focus on them. They were mostly girls shouting, around their twenties, some if that. They had colorful banners with letters stamped on them and sticks with a ball that seemed to shine.

Click.

She looked briefly at the photo on the view screen, then up again at them. She was surprised.

“No, but similar. What could it be that makes them act like that?”

Lidia was passing her her media badge to access the event.

“Boys.”

He woke up from his nap, dazed. He kept having the same dream. He had had it for a while and in the beginning, he couldn’t remember it properly. Now, he could. No faces or characteristics, but he knew it was always the same person he dreamt of. When he told it to the others, they thought it had to be his soulmate and he had found the idea hilarious at first, that was impossible. But then, with the years, he started wondering. Was it that far-fetched that there was a connection between them if they were two pieces of the same soul? Maybe their pieces had an incredible bond and that was why he could dream of her.

Her. He couldn’t remember much, but he did remember that, which brought more weight to the possibility of her being his soulmate since soulmates were always of the opposite sex. For him, love or a partner was always about the connection, the person, not about their appearance or gender. He never felt like he had a gender preference because he would always look at personality first, but his soulmate would be female and he was okay with it. Though honestly, despite dreaming of her occasionally, he couldn’t conceive a relationship — he hadn’t had a serious one in almost ten years.

Life made it that way, and he accepted it. His career had taken off in a way he had dreamed and actually achieved. He was surrounded by amazing people, professionals, friends, and family alike. He had his fans, who supported him and allowed him to live every single one of his dreams, from making music, to not worrying about money, to being able to support his family comfortably. Did he ever wonder if loneliness was a price to pay for it all? Yes. Did he think it was? No. He wasn’t looking for a relationship, or his soulmate. They would show in due time. He was living, bit by bit, in tranquility.

He of course thought about what would happen if he met her. Seokjin and Hoseok had found theirs and they were exceedingly happy. They gave all others the hope of a lifetime of happiness and fulfillment, though none were particularly searching for it. ARMYs didn't know about their discovery, they had decided it that way. Not even necessarily because of the fans, but because of the sasaengs and paparazzi. The lack of privacy would be overwhelming and the men didn't wish to ruin their soulmates' lives.

If anyone had to choose who appeared the least interested in the whole soulmate trope it would probably be him. Yoongi was known for many things, he was aware, and the top included being snarky, lazy, and perfectionist. Some probably saw him as the most cold, obsessed with his music, a workaholic. It was somewhat true, he shrugged. Ideas were constantly in his mind and he was the happiest if he was putting them to life. That meant spending a lot of time by himself in the comfort and safety of his studio, space, and mind. It also meant he slept a lot. None of those characteristics meant he actually was cold or uninterested in finding his soulmate. Quite on the contrary, sometimes it felt it was the exact piece that was missing. He lived with it, but he wouldn't deny it or reject it if it happened. He would welcome her wholeheartedly, he had been waiting for some time now.

There was pressure to perform in front of thousands of people that night, as it was BTS’s last tour date in Europe, in Berlin. He was very tired, exhausted really, as were the others, but they were persevering. They had to, the quiet that would come after would be both a soothing balm and a curse. They had to make the best of it while they could, no matter what.

He was reflecting on that, at the backstage lounge after having slept a nap. The others were getting ready for the concert in other ways, though they were all quiet as the stress was building up. He walked out to reach the stylist's room and get his makeup done, knowing he would be the last one to do so when he felt it. He stumbled against the door awkwardly, completely taken by surprise. He looked around in shock, meeting the makeup artists’, hairdressers’, and stylists' surprised looks. 

She was there. She was there somewhere.

He was there somewhere. Freya was certain of it. She knew she would know when it happened and she knew. She was terrified, petrified in place, but she knew.

“Freya, what’s wrong?”

Lidia sounded worried and Freya blinked blankly for a second. She had fallen against the wall and was now leaning against it. People were passing in between them in that corridor in both directions, oblivious to them, most speaking a language she didn’t understand.

Freya immediately forced a smile, dismissing her question. “I’m fine, I just tripped.”

Lidia accepted it because, in the turmoil of people running around backstage, that wasn’t surprising. Little did she know what happened. Freya was nearly sweating from nervousness, her body too hot to handle the May warmth. 

How could that be, she thought, while following Lidia. She had lived in Berlin her whole life, why would it have to happen at a boy band concert? It made no sense, at all. On one hand, she had been super lucky to never stumble on him her whole life. On the other, really, a boy band concert? What if it was one of the fanboys outside?

That was her worst nightmare coming to reality. She wasn’t one to wallow in self-pity, but for fuck’s sake she almost had it. She almost lived a life in ignorance, free of fated bullcrap and withdrawal symptoms. Now she was facing her options: to run away immediately, to finish the job and hopefully never stumble on him, or to search for him. The latter wasn’t an option, and to leave without finishing the job was unprofessional. Lidia had asked her to be there to photograph that piece, the last concert date of the boy band in Europe, and she felt obligated to carry it through. They had an exclusive interview for their culture magazine and those photographs would make the fans go insane. Her professional code was above all else, she had fought tooth and nail to achieve everything she had. She vowed to never let her soulmate change her and it would certainly not start now.

Avoiding the person would probably be impossible, she considered, still following Lidia. The stadium was packed with fans and crew, there was no avoiding whoever it was. Since people kept passing through her constantly, she thought their bond must be pretty strong. Otherwise, how could it be that the sensation wasn’t fading as the person walked past her? They probably weren’t even walking past her. They were just somewhere in the vicinity.

There was no photoshoot scheduled, just the interview. When they walked into the artists' backstage lounge it was relatively quiet. There were seven, distinctively sitting in the corner of the room that had been lit and specially prepared for the occasion. Freya was surprised the artist’s crew had prepared that small arrangement for the interview, as it would usually be up to the magazine to arrange it.

She stayed by the door and grabbed her camera, pulling it to her face.

Lidia walked ahead with a gorgeous smile, “Hello everyone! Are we late? I hope you didn't wait long.”

The question was rhetorical, they were well ahead of time. Freya was immediately immersed in seeing life through her lens. She would do what she did best, soulmate pull bothering her or not.

She did not pay attention to the conversation between Lidia and the publicists, managers, and whoever else. She was certain Lidia pointed at her because she saw it through her camera.

"Just ignore her," Lidia said with a smile, glancing back at the camera. Lidia knew she liked to work in peace.

She wasn't a photographer who would take a thousand pictures to be able to choose one. She would take ten to choose five. That meant being very conscious of every angle, light, positioning, and framing. Everything had to be perfect. She had won awards for pictures she barely had to edit precisely because of her attention to detail. In warzones, she was severely limited in time and supplies, she had to make due. It wasn't the same circumstance, but her work ethic applied.

She liked seeing the crew work around them tirelessly and she wasn't shy about snapping photos of them. She was certain then that the concert was only about 20% the actual musicians. Not to diminish their work, but the show itself was not of their making. They were just starring in it.

The interview was well underway when she turned to the artists themselves. That wasn't problematic, their smile wouldn't change between the first and last question. She actually believed they'd relax more as the questions progressed, making their photos portray their true nature better.

Those thirty minutes flew truly by. She quickly scanned the photos she took through the view screen to make sure she had all seven in perfect soul-capturing moments, but she frowned. There was one that was different. He was speaking in the photo she took, he had an honest expression, and a beautiful complexion, but she didn't feel like the photo was as good as the others. He wasn't captured as well.

She raised her eyes to look at him and her heart jumped a beat. He was looking down, hands over his crossed legs. His hair was beautifully styled over his forehead, he looked almost like a doll. He sure was frozen, but she knew he was listening. His bandmate was answering a question in English and Lidia laughed, not too loud but not fakely either. That man smiled, not out of politeness, but out of understanding. Out of deeper thoughts. Something more meaningful. 

Click.

She hadn't even thought of it, she had to capture it. Her stomach was twisting, she wasn't feeling too well. Damned soulbond shenanigans. She usually did very well in crowds, but she suddenly felt claustrophobic. She slipped through the entrance door and left. She was fighting hard for what was happening so as not to ruin her day.

He was barely containing himself. He had an urge, an energy pulse that wanted to pull at him and take him somewhere. He was sitting as still as he could, respectfully listening to the interview and answering when appropriate. He felt his smile might give it away, so he kept looking down. Some of the others noticed and touched him soothingly in worry, patting his back or shoulder softly. He stayed quiet, he couldn’t tell them yet.

When the journalist left and the room emptied a bit in the last ten minutes before the final preparations, he was finally free.

"What's wrong, Yoongi?" Hoseok was worried.

"Yeah, why didn't you answer the next album question?" Namjoon’s tone wasn't of irritation, just curiosity. "It's your question."

"You were really stiff too," Jimim commented with a concerned pout. They were next to each other and Jimin had at one point patted his lower back.

"Guys, let him talk," Seokjin interfered, waving his hand in front of his face. Was he getting hot? Cause Yoongi was burning up, and sweating without the show even starting.

"Look at him, he's flustered," Taehyung commented, looking at him from real close. Yoongi scoffed and brushed him away.

"Here's water, hyung," Jungkook offered him a water bottle which he gladly took.

"Guys," his voice sounded weird even to him. Since when was it this emotional? "I feel it."

"What?"

"Are you sick?"

"Don't push yourself too hard."

"Guys!" He grabbed Taehyung by the shoulders, who was still close and personal. He would have been annoyed if the occasion was different, he really didn’t care now. "I feel it. Her. She's here somewhere tonight. I feel it right now."

Chaos ensued, with some congratulations and some worries echoing throughout the room. They barely had a minute to discuss it with their manager Sejin, the first to be informed. 

They were rushed to the level underneath the stage and the manager just smacked Yoongi’s shoulder, "Focus on the show. We'll find her after."

He was nervous now, and not about the show. His mind was processing the facts now. The person wasn't in the crew, he would have felt it before. It had to be someone who entered the venue when he felt it. That could be anyone, from fans to workers, and little could be done to slim the number down from tens of thousands to one. That thought made him despair. How would he ever find her in so many people?

"Hey," Namjoon had his hand over his shoulder. His eyes had a glint of concern, but his expression exuded confidence. "She feels you too." Yoongi nodded, taking a deep breath. "She'll probably come forward after the concert."

"She's probably an ARMY," Hoseok winked. Yoongi just shrugged, he didn't care if she was. That was the least of his concerns right now.

"Just think this is for her, for all of them," Jimin added with a light smile.

Yoongi nodded and rushed to the stage, the same as them. He gave it his all. He was exhausted, but he wasn't giving up. He knew he shocked his brothers because he had probably never shown such a performance before. He couldn't explain it. He had newfound energy, and hope. Things would be different from now on, for the best. The thought that she was listening, and seeing him perform gave him an extra incentive. He teased the public way more than usual. He rarely displayed his English skills as openly, but the circumstances told him she couldn't be Korean. Whoever she was in that crowd, he wanted to make sure she knew they could communicate. Could she even tell it was him? She was probably as lost as he was.

The pull was hard. Freya was facing the whole crowd from that spot, near the stage. She could easily take pictures of the stage, as well as the fans. She was trying to focus on her job, but something kept interrupting her. Sometimes she would feel goosebumps all over her body, though she did not know why. Maybe if that guy stopped talking on the microphone all the time, she could actually hear herself think.

She rubbed her eyes with a sigh; the show was almost ending, it would be over soon. She was particularly snappy because of the bond-induced tension, she knew that. She would be able to leave as soon as it ended, just a little while longer.

Or so she thought. The venue started emptying and Lidia insisted for them to stay. She didn't complain at first, taking pictures of the heartbroken fans when the show ended. Most of them were emotional, tears staining their faces, but they were smiling. For them, it must have been a life experience to see BTS on stage. If only Freya could have appreciated it as much. She also wanted to cry. She wanted to run away so badly.

The venue was nearly empty when a publicist showed up to call for Lidia. Apparently, there were some matters left to discuss. Lidia nudged Freya, saying how nice it was of them to let them experience the concert for free before getting back to business. Freya knew it was nice, but she just shrugged. She wanted to leave.

But she couldn't, Lidia was her ride. She could always run away either way, but it wasn't professional.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked, willing.

"No, it's just a meeting. Footage of the fans leaving, the empty poststage and backstage, or even the tired artists are more important. Make it count," Lidia winked before leaving. She probably didn't notice Freya’s expression, as excited as if she was sucking on a sour lemon.

She needed to calm down, she thought. She had to be professional above all else. She could not, and would not, have that stupid occurrence ruin her photojournalist reputation. Over her dead body.

She exited the designated area, aimlessly taking shots whenever she felt it was worth it. She had her bag with other lenses that she would switch occasionally. She got lost.

Yoongi was despairing. He couldn't help it. He wasn't even listening to the argument anymore. He was focused on the feeling, on the internal drum. He was panicked that it was going to disappear in a heartbeat.

"There's nothing we can do! We can't prevent the fans from leaving the venue, we can't force them to leave one by one. Not to mention that just touching the subject would immediately destroy any option of privacy for Yoongi or his soulmate." Sejin was being reasonable, everyone knew that. But one glance at Yoongi's face said it all. It was not enough. 

Namjoon kept arguing, but Yoongi turned around to face the mirror, closing his eyes. He felt someone behind him.

"Do you still feel it?" Jungkook’s kind voice asked. 

He nodded with his heart tight in his chest. He did feel it, he felt it better now, if that made sense. It was called a pull for a reason. He felt pulled, compelled to move, to go somewhere. He didn't know where, he didn't know if it worked and it was probably not safe for him to leave that room. But he felt it as though he was a compass with an arrow juggling around. No one was going to find her but him. And he absolutely couldn't lose her.

He opened his eyes and confidently walked out, not paying attention to anyone. He didn't notice his brothers calling or manager Sejin telling them to let him go. The venue was nearly empty, maybe one-fourth of the fans were still around. He still felt her, so maybe they had a chance.

He walked to the higher levels completely on a gut feeling. He hadn't even changed outfits or showered yet, he was straight out of the stage with a gray hoodie and black tight pants. He had a black headband over his hairline that kept his short dark brown hair from falling down his eyes and the sweat from dripping. None of it mattered though, he didn’t have time to look presentable, he needed to find her.

When he reached the higher level, he wasn't even afraid to meet fans, the thought didn’t occur to him. He just stumbled, numb. He could barely feel it anymore, it was like a pulled elastic at the end. It was still there, and so was she. Yet, for a second his chest filled with anguish and it physically hurt. He had no sense of direction anymore. Nothing made sense anymore. He was failing and it was useless, he had no idea of what to do.

People were starting to mumble around him and he was brought back to reality. He needed an escape, to hide the repressed feelings that were starting to make his chest hurt. There was a door in front of him. He entered the room, slamming the door behind him.

Freya was walking aimlessly, completely lost. There weren't that many people around and she wasn't really interested in taking pictures anymore. The moment had passed. She hoped to catch the band leaving, knowing that was the kind of shot her magazine could appreciate for the online version of the article.

The more she kept going, the more sure she became that she was going the wrong way. She was effectively ignoring her surroundings and just going. The crew was going in the opposite direction, the fangirls and security too. She tried convincing herself that was totally normal. It was totally her own will taking her somewhere in order to snap more pictures. It was not that gut-wrenching pull telling her she had to be somewhere.

She was walking down a corridor when she suddenly froze. Her body was burning up, her heart racing out of control, but her gut clearly knew that was it. No need to go further. She was deaf at that point, the bond so strong it was a deafening physical energy current around her pushing her in only one direction: the door in front of her.

Everything else was muffled and unimportant. Yet from the outside of the door, she could already feel she shouldn’t open it. The force was so strong it was numbing. Her hand hovered over the door knob and she wondered how it wasn't vibrating with the resonance of such a powerful pull. She wanted to fight it with all of her strength, and her hand trembled. It would change her life forever if she opened that door. She didn't want that to happen.

But she wasn't strong enough, it was just so much stronger than her. She succumbed to it, fatefully so. She grabbed the doorknob and tried to rationalize it. It couldn’t hurt to see him at least once, or at least to tell him she wasn't and wasn't ever going to be interested. Yeah, that's it. That was why she had to get in there. It wasn't that person's fault and she should at least tell him that.

She entered the room quickly, a small meeting room, and closed the door without turning. Inside, the pull became like a magnetic field, all around them like walls, instead of a single string. She turned slowly around and saw a man standing behind the center table, having risen from his chair, staring at her in shock. He was different than she expected, though she expected nothing. He looked tired, that was her first thought. Why was he so tired? His dark brown hair was wet with sweat and falling over his headband. His eyes were smaller than she would expect, and darker. His skin was so pale she wondered if it was porcelain; was that makeup? He was her height it would seem, though bulkier than her. That hoodie did not give much away, but he looked comfortable. She was somewhat happy he was comfortable, despite his tiredness.

Her eyes were glued to him like nothing else existed because nothing else did. She was walking slowly in his direction, completely unaware. She had heard of the trance but she never thought it would be that strong. Her body moved on its own, her mind clouded as if she was high on drugs. She was such a strong-willed person, and yet it seemed all her convictions evaporated. Her legs were jello and would only move in his direction. She argued that it was only physical, her mind was still alert. Yet they were a step away from each other when she recognized her own lie. Her mind was as interested as her body, especially because she recognized him. But from where?

They shouldn't have touched, she thought. As soon as their hands did there was no denying it. There was no reasoning that could explain what was happening, except soulmating. Her chest filled with cheer bliss while her whole body warmed up like crazy as if she was a firework ready to pop in a million colors. And it was strange to recognize the same sort of emotion in such foreign eyes, in a stranger's face. She felt endeared by that face, propelled to care for that person with the clear consciousness that she did not know him. And her heart, or should she say soul, was at peace with it. 

She struggled with that thought. First, because she thought they would instantly love each other blindly or something, and she didn’t want that to happen. Second, because it confirmed her own theories that soulbonding would erase her sense of self, her autonomy, and her individuality. She would be damned if she’d ever let any of that happen.

She knew nothing would ever feel the same or compare to him. However, knowing it in theory or feeling it in practice were very different things. Every particle of her body and soul agreed that was it, her other half, and no other person, relationship or bond would ever replace it. She looked at her hands in his and she had to close her eyes for a second to control her emotions. The urge to hug him was making her toes curl.

“What’s your name?”

Her eyes jumped to him and widened. She knew him, she heard his voice a lot tonight. She pictured him without the headband in a pretty black suit and she gasped. He was one of the guys from the band! She was completely shaken to her core; how was that possible?! Weren’t they from the other side of the world? 

Then she shook her head, but of course he was. He didn’t live in Berlin, or else they’d have met before. He only happened to come to Berlin, and she only happened to be invited to work that piece last minute. Lidia would call it fate.

“What’s your name?”

His voice gave her goosebumps. He was saying it in English, not German, but she was totally fine with it. Despite the slight demand from his voice, he was using a loving tone. A soft caress to her ears meant to not trouble her. But she was troubled, deeply. She fought to keep her mouth shut, clenching her teeth and looking away. She saw his chest heave to take in a breath before insisting on knowing her name and she panicked. She couldn’t deny him if he kept asking, her soul wouldn’t allow it. So she kissed him.

She censored herself for a millisecond before their lips touched. Kissing him went against everything she stood for. First and foremost, because she was invading his privacy, his personal space. She was attacking him, sexually assaulting him for fuck’s sake. Soulmate or not, that couldn’t be taken lightly. Second, because it was disrespectful as a whole to kiss someone without knowing if they consented. What if he had a girlfriend or was married? Third, because she wanted to keep her distance from her soulmate. They were never supposed to have met, let alone touch or kiss. She wanted to leave, run away, and never look back. No matter the pain it would cause them both. That was too selfish of her and the more they dove in, the more she would hurt him, wound him. His soul, the other part of her. He was an unlucky bastard to be fated to be her other half.

Despite the flawless logic in all of those thoughts, she couldn’t stop her lips and he didn’t seem to mind. He was surprised for a second, before supporting her waist with his hands carefully while she grabbed his head in place. For someone who wanted to run away as soon as possible, she sure was keeping him firmly in her grip.

She forced him to walk back until he was against the wall. She did so because now he had nowhere to go, she could press her body against him. She felt absolute ecstasy running through her blood. She could not stop kissing him. She could not be stopped. She vaguely thought the only way would be for him to ask it, and she doubted he ever would.

His hands stayed respectfully at her waist, frustratingly so. It was infuriating in a way how he seemed to be more in control than she was when she was the one who didn’t want this to happen. She should be outraged that they were kissing without her consent. She didn’t have the mind space to think about that though, she would reflect on being a hypocrite later.

For now, his lips tasted like heaven. She was going into all the corny tropes because they fit exactly how she felt. She was riding the wave of a rush and it was divine. She had never been high on LSD or cocaine, but she imagined it came close to that. Her tongue had no problems invading his mouth, provoking hot waves of pleasure to reverberate through her whole body. The way he just accepted it, as if giving her the full reins of it, stupidly turned her on, egged her on. He was the only one who could stop her, why didn’t he?

She fought hard to stop their makeout session and pulled away, panting uncontrollably. She was eating him alive. So much for saying ‘goodbye, let’s never see each other again’.

“You… What's your name?”

Their faces were still glued together, his arms around her. She pushed herself away and turned to the side, covering her mouth with her right hand. Somehow, pulling away from him exhausted her. She felt like even gravity was against her. She stayed like that, panting at a short but safe distance, looking at him.

After a moment of silence, he walked to a chair and sat down. The corners of his lips were raised in a small smile, he looked calm. He had all the time in the world, it seemed. Well, she didn't, she had other things to do. Like running away and never look back. Stupid soulbond was too heavy, her legs were stomped.

He pointed at the chair across from him, on the other side of the table. "Please, sit."

She wanted to scream. He was being so gentle, so condescending. Was she an idiot that couldn't keep herself away? Y- No. She wasn't a fangirl. She was a hard-working adult. An award-winning photojournalist. She was in control. Mostly. She couldn't even look away from him, that empty chair had nothing on him.

She tried calming herself down. She took her camera strip out of her neck, letting the camera sit on the table, and then she also dropped her lens bag on the floor next to it. Her breathing was stabilizing and she swallowed dryly. He was patiently waiting for her. He looked like a mythological God observing her, a mere mortal, to cope with his presence. And she had all the intentions of kneeling and begging for whatever mercy he could give.

She scoffed and pulled her copper hair back, out of her face. It was good. That soulmate thing… It was strong. She never thought it would get to that point. She knew when to admit defeat. And that was certainly, still, not the time to. 

She took a step forward, convinced that she was in control. She was going to put her hand on his shoulder and say, ‘I’m sorry it had to be me. I’m not interested. Let’s forget this ever happened.'

Her hand actually hovered over his shoulder for a moment, when her blue eyes deviated to the exposed skin of his neck. Her hand trembled while she struggled between her wills, visceral thoughts opposing one another. He must have seen her inner battle because he extended his hand and guided hers to his shoulder calmingly. It tipped the scales.

Her hormones, body, whatever it was took control. What she wanted beyond him didn’t matter, no one beyond him mattered. She felt like everything in life was secondary, a faded background, dim against his brightness. There was only one thing she wanted.

Her leg heaved to the other side of him and she sat on top of his legs. He seemed to be expecting her lips when she leaned forward to greet him. His hands went to rest carefully by her waist while hers kept by his neck. He was taking her kisses fully, meeting her passion without ever imposing. But she was hungry. She started grinding herself against him and as soon as she could feel his hard-on clearly through his pants and her shorts, she just couldn’t stop anymore.

Her mind became foggy and nothing else but their pleasure meant anything. There was something at the end of the rainbow and she wanted it. Not want, want. Like the need to breathe. He grunted and parted their lips, trying to look around, at them, at her. 

She got up with a weird sense of ease. She unbuttoned her shorts without ever dropping her eyes from him. His, however, accompanied the fabric’s descent down her naked legs. She pulled her panties down in the same motion and he seemed to understand. His expression was now serious, as she imagined hers. She wanted it, like oxygen. Like daylight. He could stop it though. One word and her world would crumble.

He extended his right hand for her to take. She took it and got closer. He meant to get up, but she stopped him. She unbuttoned his pants herself while her heart drummed in her chest. It wasn’t even about what he was going to look like or anything of the sort. She just had to feel him.

She got on his lap and immediately pulled his erection out. It was hard and shiny, extending proudly upwards. Their eyes met and no words were spoken. His hands were on her hips and she just did what she was supposed to. She sat down.

It had never felt that way before. She was never the most sexual person, but it was not supposed to feel like that. If she had a will, it vanished then. Her completeness could not be described. It was like an explosion of color, like a gust of wind, like the stars on the black pane of the universe. She was a boat looking to anchor, he was the nest she came to sleep in. 

Once the cosmic waves were done resonating in her nerves, she opened her eyes, aware. It was like seeing everything blurry and then putting on glasses. She understood. She could barely think, but she knew she understood. And looking at his eyes, she knew he did too. His arms raised around her in a tight embrace to keep her close while her hips started rolling. She felt embraced, and accepted, like a promise was being made. Their bodies were giving something to each other because that was the only way their souls could be one again. That pleasure making her skin stretch was the extent their souls would ever touch each other. That was sad in a way, making her feel anguish. Yet he kissed her chest, right over her heart, making her come to an almost full stop. He was promising. She started moving again. That promise would only be real if they committed. If their souls actually touched and joined.

She had never felt pleasure like that. She thought she would reach her orgasm very soon, but somehow there was more. Like an endless staircase to heaven. He grew impatient with kissing her shirt and forced it out. She gladly helped. His lips on her skin were everything, and she moaned through clenched teeth at the shock. His tongue darted out to feel her breasts, contouring her bra edges and sneaking in as much as he could. She was still going, jumping as low as possible so he could do it. She grew impatient and her hands reached her back to release the bra when he stopped her.

He grabbed her hands, “No, don’t stop.”

It was a catalyst, if there could be one. His hands groped her firmly everywhere while she got lost in the feeling of riding him. She was now moaning with every motion, so ready to reach him whenever he was.

He grunted from the back of his throat, “Fuck.”

She nodded approvingly and felt the instant he was ready. She forced his hands on her breasts to squeeze hard while she sat down strongly a few times, making him go so deep it nearly hurt. 

Only it was pure bliss. She closed her eyes and all she could see was golden. Golden waves with particles of light. Her body trembled in spasms, her voice muted without breath. Her body felt like it was hovering in a breeze, floating. She could feel his hands, his body, inside and out. She felt warm and safe. Home. 

It lasted maybe fifteen seconds. Then, the golden waves receded, the lights disappeared like stars in the morning sky, her body floated softly to the ground, and it was done. Her head fell over his shoulder and his hand came to rest on her hair. They were both panting. They promised, it was done. She was hugging him as tightly as she could. She was scared to open her eyes.

You can go here to keep reading [ao3] (this story is finished) 💜

#Soul Palette - Soulmate AU Series #bts fanfic #bts #bts imagines #ao3 fanfic #bangtan sonyeondan #bts fanfiction call you mine #bts angst #bts soulmate au #soulmates #min yoongi #bts smut #bts suga #yoongi smut #yoongi fanfic #suga bts #agustd #happyagustdday #happyyoongiday #happy birthday suga #happy suga day #lo1k-diamonds writes 💎

[welcometololaland]

(sorry, it's not sunday and there are way more than seven sentences here, so I couldn't even pretend. this is a little play on canon but in europe).

“Did that man just say ‘sweat drop down my balls?’” Henry asks, mouth agape as he stands completely still.  “Hell yeah,” Alex yells back. “But you’re not gonna get sweaty at all if you stand still!” Henry gives him a very forced smile and starts to bob up and down and Alex wants to scream. He knows Henry can do better than this. Such a sexy, sexy man can't be that bad at dancing.

“He really doesn’t dance, does he?” Siobhan giggles in his ear a minute later as she, Fiadh and Saoirse pass them, hands in the air as they dig their way deeper into the throng. Over their heads, he sees Maeve pretending to slap Freya’s ass as she twerks, two hands on her knees.  “He’ll get there!” Alex yells back with renewed confidence. “Come on, Henry, loosen up.” “It’s a bit hard to loosen up when you—” “Three, six, nine, damn you’re fine!” Alex sings, along with sixty other people in the club. Henry looks at him like he’s grown an extra head, which makes Alex wonder what Henry would have done if he’d yelled out the iconic lyrics to Azealia Banks’ '212', which had been playing when they first walked in. In response, Alex pulls him towards the floor. “It’s telling you to get low!” “My knees aren’t eighteen anymore, Alex!” Alex, who has obediently dropped down in accordance with the lyrics, stares up at Henry from dick-height. “Are you saying you wouldn’t get on your knees for me?”

OPEN TAG! (plus some emotional support tags and targeted attacks below) - I'm super late lol

tagging my eurotrip emotional support people + others who have suffered through me writing this fic for like 3 years @celeritas2997 @rmd-writes @indomitable-love @clottedcreamfudge @everwitch-magiks @dustratcentral @three-drink-amy @athousandrooms @the-amber-fox @villiageidiot just to prove im still DOING IT.

also thank you for the tags @chicgeekgirl89 @suseagull04 @strandnreyes @freneticfloetry @lemonlyman-dotcom @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @orchidscript @agame-writes @three-drink-amy @carlos-in-glasses @sznofthesticks @kiwiana-writes and @heartstringsduet

targeted attack for @dumbpeachjuice @treluna4 @affectionatelyrs @bitbybitwrites @inexplicablymine @liminalmemories21 @louis-ii-reyes-strand @reyesstrand and @theghostofashton just because i felt like it <3 (sorry if im too late for you!)

#eurotrip #eurotrip snippet #red white and royal blue #rwrb #firstprince #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz #seven sentence sunday #lolaland writes #except this is definitely not seven #sorry for that

[leclerc-s]

track 001. logical

─── ❝ said i was too young, i was too soft. can't take a joke, can't get you off. oh, why do i do this? ❞ ───

masterlist // next

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, isabellaperez, and others

zoyatorres a while back i heard a beautiful piano piece composed by charles_leclerc. i adored the way he was able to compose such emotional pieces. i asked a friend to reach out to him and ask if he wanted to be apart of my next album. he agreed and he composed a couple pieces on my new album, GUTS, which is yours september 8th. for now, enjoy logical, an emotional song which captures exactly what i was feeling in that moment thanks to charles. and to isabellaperez, the only other person to understand my emotions, thank you for inspiring me to write this one. once again, grazie charles! gracias isabella! (ps enjoy these bts picture of me and charles as logical was being written) (pps isabella helped inspire a few of the songs on this album)

tagged: charles_leclerc, isabellaperez

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landonorris um…what the fuck? charles? isabella? why wasn’t i informed of this?

baileywinters you’re welcome people! i did this! i got this masterpiece out into the world!

↳ landonorris et tú, brute?

↳ baileywinters sorry babe but i was sworn to secrecy!

user01 is this not some sort of betrayal to mae? after everything that went down between the two.

↳ maejones not really considering zoya and i are on good terms. i also have a boyfriend, i've moved on, everyone else should too.

↳ charles_leclerc i spoke to mae before i said yes to this opportunity. if she said she was uncomfortable with me doing this i would've said no.

↳ zoyatorres as mae said, everyone involved in that situation has moved on, please do us all a favor and move on.

user02 i just know this song is going to break my heart in two and i haven't even heard it

charles_leclerc it was a pleasure working with you zoya! we should do it again sometime.

↳ zoyatorres get me a pass to the next grand prix and we’ll see

↳ charles_leclerc done! see you in miami!

↳ zoyatorres pleasure doing business with you mr. leclerc

isabellaperez thanks for letting me vent to you!

↳ zoyatorres those vents became beautiful songs isabella! so thank you to you and your wonderful brain!

user03 now this is a crossover i wasn't expecting

nataliaruiz oh thank god, i was going to lose it if i had to keep this a secret any longer.

maejones well that was emotional…i’m gonna go drown myself with a toaster

↳ maxverstappen1 no, you won’t. actually please don’t.

↳ rowantodd no one wants to deal with a grumpy max, please don't ever joke about that again. your sister is also pouting at her phone, please, don't make those jokes again.

nataliaruiz posted a new story

seen by charles_leclerc, zoyatorres, logansargeant and others

some more bts of the making of logical. zoya’s my favorite third wheel, she’s basically charles and i’s child now. freyavettel you have a sister now.

zoyatorres mom? nataliaruiz yes my child?

charles_leclerc she is not our child nataliaruiz too late the adoption papers have been filed with seb, maman leclerc approved it too and she practically lives with us chérie

pierregasly another one? isn't the one on the way enough? isn’t freya enough? nataliaruiz shut up, you tripod

arthur_leclerc another niece? you can't give me a nephew? nataliaruiz the universe has decided that charles is meant to be a girl dad. it told me so when it gave us freya as a first child and zoya as a second and our baby as the third arthur_leclerc freya and zoya aren't actually your children nat nataliaruiz and lando isn't carlos and penny's kid but they treat him like he is. we all have emotional support children, don't question me. arthur_leclerc alright fine.

natalia ruiz added one person

natalia ruiz meet my child zoya!

zoya torres is that fernando alonso in the picture?

freya vettel blackmail material from lance, so yes it’s nando

bailey winters lando’s been screaming logical for the past 20 minutes. make it stop please

lando norris i can’t believe you guys wouldn’t tell us about this! isa and i played sour on repeat for days!

daphne jones-ricciardo trust us, we remember

zoya torres holy shit. excuse me while i go scream in a pillow.

daniel jones-ricciardo she’s just like me. daph! she’s our child! natalia ruiz back the fuck up aussie, that is my second child with charles! pierre gasly you have an actual child together and she's met daphne before hasn't she? zoya torres i don't actually have her number. let me have this. god, the french ruin everything oscar piastri she's going to fit right in with us

logan sargeant on a completely different topic, who hurt zoya and charles? that is the saddest song i’ve heard all year and speak now (daphne’s version) was released a few days ago. i don’t need to ask about isa, we all know the answer to that.

george russell can’t believe i’m agreeing with an american but who hurt you two?

logan sargeant at least our queen is still alive mae jones we don’t have a queen? we are a democracy. florida has failed us once again. logan sargeant i was talking about your sister… rowan todd he’s got you there mae, all rise for our national anthem, death by a thousand cuts penelope trevino HALF OF YOU DIPSHITS LIVE IN MONACO! zoya torres can't believe i just met a bunch of tax evaders

natalia ruiz you literally just moved to monaco zoya. you are a tax evader now.

zoya torres it’s to be closer to my favorite leclerc, baby leclerc. arthur’s been bumped down to last arthur leclerc well fuck you, as if i wasn’t already. you’re my least favorite singer in this group.

esteban ocon everytime i open this groupchat up i worry for each and every single one of you

mick schumacher i agree with the french

logan sargeant history has proven that it has never happened. so this is a first lando norris enough with the history jokes dulce perez just because you can’t understand them doesn’t mean we have to stop

zoya torres to answer logan's question, my ex-boyfriend hurt me.

natalia ruiz we don't talk about that asshole alex albon just to clarify, we're not talking about joshua are we? zoya torres no, that's passed, we're friends now. i think?

max verstappen why the fuck is lando running around the hotel screaming?

max verstappen never mind i see now. hello zoya.

zoya torres hi max! charles leclerc YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER? zoya torres i had breakfast with mae and max once

lewis hamilton it’s a great song guys!

zoya torres what if i passed out right now? what if this was my 13th reason? all i ever needed was to make sir lewis hamilton proud. oscar piastri oh god, she’s just like logan dulce perez i worry for you people, i truly do.

isabella perez THAT BRIDGE? CAN'T BELIEVE I HELPED COME UP WITH THAT!

dulce perez with an ex like austin how could you not? isabella perez do you maybe, want to shut the fuck up?

liked by charles_leclerc, nataliaruiz, maejones

zoyatorres mom said we had to come support dad in miami! peep my three different outfits (it was very hot for two of them, yes i did steal a helmet for a picture) don’t mom and baby leclerc look so cute? (i took that picture while we were waiting for mick and freya)

tagged: nataliaruiz, charles_leclerc, scuderiaferrari

user1 love how she opted to post a cute picture of natalia while embarrassing charles

↳ zoyatorres mom should never be embarrassed. dad on the other hand…

charles_leclerc i invited you to a grand prix and this is the payment i receive? (send me that picture of natti please?)

↳ zoyatorres will do father 🫡

scuderiaferrari it was an honor to have you in our garage (free concert tickets soon?)

↳ zoyatorres anything for my favorite admin

maejones did you enjoy your first ever grand prix?

↳ zoyatorres you bet i did! who knew watching cars go really fast in odd circles could be fun! baby leclerc made it more fun!

user2 i love that she’s been adopted into this family of weirdos so quickly.

↳ nataliaruiz she's one of us now, we're never letting her go.

↳ zoyatorres no other people i'd rather be friends with

↳ landonorris friends? who said anything about friends? we're family now

↳ dulceperez calm down dominic torretto. let the girl get used to our company before forcing her into this weird little family.

↳ zoyatorres i practically live with them...maman leclerc loves me…baby leclerc loves me

↳ user3 now this is something i wasn't expecting. baby leclerc has two big sisters, freya and zoya are the best big sisters, no doubt about it.

zoya was lost. it was that simple. she hadn't meant to wander off, but she had really needed to use the bathroom and freya had abandoned her. zoya would never get used to the paddock life, it was too chaotic for her. zoya preferred touring and tour buses, at least there it was a controlled chaos. she hoped she could find someone she was familiar with like mae or max, maybe they would help her out. or maybe she would die of embarrassment before she ever made her way to the ferrari garage.

too preoccupied with finding her way to the ferrari garage she failed to notice the 6ft wall in the shape of a human. she crashed into him and if it weren’t have been for his quick reflexes she would’ve fallen over. the wall grabbed her arm and pulled her close before she could touch the ground. it was then that she realized the wall wasn’t a wall and instead a human body. she pushed herself away from him, not that she wasn't thankful for his rescue, but he was a stranger, and zoya was not okay with random people touching her. maybe that was the downside of being a celebrity, people always thought they had a right to touch you or take pictures with you as if they knew you.

not that she wasn't grateful for her fans, she was, they were the reason she had the fame she did. it was the strangers who didn't even know her, and just saw a mob of people surrounding her, and decided it was okay with touching her. maybe she should bring that up with her therapist at their next meeting.

“you okay?” the human wall questioned. zoya nodded, letting go of his hand, “yeah, i got lost on my way back from the bathroom and freya ditched me so i have no clue where i’m going. i’ve been wandering this place for like 10 minutes and i still can’t find the ferrari garage.”

the human wall laughed, "considering that you're at the williams garage i'd say you're pretty far off."

"oh shit," zoya muttered, "i knew i was going in the wrong direction. this place should come with a map or something."

"i can take you to the ferrari garage?" the human wall offered. zoya glanced at him, noticing the fireproofs he was wearing, "and you are?"

"logan sargeant," he answered.

“well, logan sargeant, i’m zoya torres,” she introduced, “and i would very much like help getting back to the ferrari garage.”

logan laughed again, “pleasure zoya. it’s nice to properly meet you.”

“likewise.”

liked by charles_leclerc, nataliaruiz, freyavettel and others

zoyatorres the leclerc family takes on miami! not pictured is arthur pouting over a fallen piece of cake and lorenzo laughing at him. pictured is freya staring lovingly at mick while he causes baby leclerc to giggle.

tagged: charles_leclerc, nataliaruiz, freyavettel, arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, mickschumacher

view all comments

user1 i guess charles really did steal seb's daughter

arthur_leclerc wow no picture of me or enzo? guess who isn't my favorite niece

↳ zoyatorres you literally told me to not take any pictures of you cause you looked like shit? and the one i did take, as mentioned in the caption, you didn’t want me posting.

freyavettel out of all the pictures you took of me, you picked that one?

↳ zoyatorres it's the one where you look most in love with mick

↳ user2 she's literally one of us. she's a mastermind who wormed her way into natalia's heart and now they're never going to let her go

↳ user3 but does mick have mom and dad’s approval?

↳ zoyatorres he has mine! i love mick, he’s a sweetheart. he’s also my sweets provider

↳ charles_leclerc jury’s still out

logansargeant it was nice to meet you zoya! pleasure getting to know the girl behind the music landonorris and isabellaperez are always screeching

↳ zoyatorres pleasure meeting the american rookie! thanks for helping me find my way to the ferrari garage

↳ charles_leclerc back off american 🤺

↳ zoyatorres you're not my dad!

↳ user4 and we know who wouldn’t have dad’s approval.

¡leclerc-s speaks! american rookie it’s your time to shine baby! although you haven’t had the best season, we still love you. double update today baby!! manifesting a win or podium for charles this weekend

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #the honest series #logan sargeant #logan sargeant x female oc #formula 1 #formula 1 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #f1 #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 fic

[tapioca-puddingg]

Why GoWR Valhalla Is Important

Hey. It's me again. This time I'm not yelling about Kingdom Hearts or Drakengard, but I wanted to talk about God of War Ragnarök: Valhalla today and why I think it's important in trauma-centered narratives. This isn't a detailed analysis, just me spitballing.

SPOILER WARNING: There will be spoilers for God of War Ragnarök: Valhalla, so please proceed with caution!

EDITED: 2/26/24

As a brief summary, Kratos spent almost the entirety of GoW 2018 refusing to talk about his past. His guilt, shame, and trauma deeply affected his relationship with his son, to the point where he didn't want to be around Atreus bc he was terrified of being a bad influence on him. It was only when Atreus' life was in danger did it force him to finally admit just a sliver of the truth. Now I don't mean to say that Kratos revealing his godhood wasn't a big deal because it absolutely was, I'm just saying that it's just one piece of a MUCH bigger story. Anyway, he recognized his past mistakes, but the shame was too much for him to openly acknowledge it until damn near the end of the game.

Come Ragnarök, Kratos was pretty much an open book. He had grown SO much in those short years of fimbulwinter: He openly talked about his trauma to Mimir and Freya. He worked so hard to be a good father and a good support system to his friends. He went out of his way to make amends with Freya and restore their friendship. And he fought to restore peace to the Nine Realms.

But come Valhalla, Freya wants to recruit Kratos to be the new God of War of the nine realms, or at least to be a part of the new peacekeeping council that she's putting together. Kratos is extremely hesitant to take up the mantle. He doesn't feel worthy or deserving enough to hold this position given all that he's done. He and Mimir (and later on, Tyr) are constantly going back and forth about it. Both perspectives are completely valid. Valhalla is about Kratos facing his past in a more literal sense; parts of Greece have been manifested from Kratos' memories of it, so it's like he gets to be there in real time again. This is about helping him process what happened and to add some nuance to the conversation. It's like free therapy for Kratos.

It's funny too bc you have both opposing viewpoints being represented. On one hand, you have Mimir and Tyr being the supporting/validating voice, and Helios is the contrarian. Since he's a manifestation of Kratos' memories, he represents the doubts that Kratos has about himself. The harsh voice to show how hard he is on himself, and not without good reason.

The reason why I think Valhalla is so important is bc in media, survivor narratives are often linear. The character just "gets over" their trauma and then that trauma isn't addressed again. It's presented more as a hurdle than a lifelong battle. I guess this goes to show how misunderstood survivorhood is. But that isn't how healing works. We regress sometimes, and sometimes we still mull over the things that have happened to us. We might heal, but that trauma does leave emotional scars. So even after the many leaps and bounds Kratos has made, he's not "over" his past, far from it! It still haunts him every day and every night. Valhalla is Kratos still processing everything. From my own healing journey, I've learned that it takes a long, long time to fully process your trauma, if there even is a "fully", anyway. It takes a long time to learn and understand all the complexities and how it affects you in current day. And it takes even longer to process such a complicated history like Kratos'.

Generally speaking about the idea of processing trauma, I said earlier that survivorhood is extremely misunderstood by the masses. Imo, our society is very anti-victim/anti-survivor. So with that in mind, from the perspective of the audience, some might perceive the processing trauma bit as repetitive or "milking it". These are mediums of entertainment after all, so ofc I understand wanting to put out an engaging story where the audience doesn't lose interest. But screw those ppl lol. We have to understand why we do what we do if we want to do better, and it's amazing that a video game is willing to have these conversations. Being more open about all the nuances of processing trauma, grief, healing, etc will go such a long way.

Even the roguelite gameplay style perfectly reflects this theme. Processing this stuff is slow. It doesn't happen overnight. Unless you're in Valhalla, I suppose.

Okay I said this wasn't a detailed analysis but I lied. I'm a liar now

#god of war #god of war 2018 #god of war ragnarok #god of war ragnarok valhalla #valhalla #kratos #mimir #tyr #santa monica studios #the valkyries #sigrun #eir #gunnr #loved this dlc #not a fan of roguelite gameplay tho #the stakes are too high #but anything for more god of war content #this game is so well-written holy shit #these are all my opinions ofc don't take it as fact #santa monica writers really understood the assignment #they really get it #freya #god of war freya #healing #analysis

[andreal831]

Do youn think Esther loved all of her children equally and how her relation with Elijah was?

I think Esther is a lot more of a complex character than people want her to be. It's easier if she can just be painted as an awful mother. But it is clear Esther did love her kids, all of them. Just differently. I don't think you can truly measure love in quantity, but she definitely had favorites and least favorites.

Esther loved Freya so much that losing Freya fundamentally changed who she was. She wanted to be a mother so badly that she was willing to do anything to make it happen. People often blame her more for trading Freya for the ability to have children, but don't blame Dahlia for making her own sister trade away her first child. Esther was young when she made that deal and didn't fully know what it meant. She also probably naively believed her sister wouldn't steal her child. But she loved Freya dearly.

Esther also loved Finn a great deal however their relationship grew twisted and toxic because of the loss they both shared. She essentially trauma bonded with her four year old child. Finn's trauma is rarely discussed but it is clear that his mother became his safety after losing Freya. He would do anything for her and Esther exploited this at times and even used him for emotional support. She did love Finn, but the trauma colored that love.

Elijah is her least favorite child. She basically admits it when she tells Klaus that he brought joy to their lives and made them a family again after losing Freya. She was heavily pregnant with Elijah when she lost Freya meaning Elijah's birth and multiple years of life did not bring their family joy or make them feel like a family. Although it's important to remember that while pregnant, she lost her child and moved across the ocean to a new land where she was alone with a volatile husband as this was also the period where Mikael starts becoming a bad/potentially abusive husband. I can't imagine she didn't experience some level of post-partum depression after having him. To top it off, Elijah favors Dahlia more than either of his parents. He likely reminded her of her sister and everything she had lost.

She views Elijah as more of a second parent. She expects him to always behave and keep his siblings in line. When the others step out of line, she has more sympathy for them. She offers Finn, Kol, Klaus, and Rebekah second chances in witch bodies but tortures Elijah, mocking him for what he is and that he is no longer her "noble son." We never see any exchanges between Elijah and Esther that have any type of warmth. This doesn't mean she didn't love him, but hey have a very strained/neglectful relationship.

Klaus is her favorite child. He was the only child she had with the man she truly loved. Even though Klaus seemed to get the brunt of Mikael's anger, he also gets the most protection from Esther. To the point that Finn is jealous of this attention. Klaus arguably did the absolute most vile deeds that should disgust Esther but she still showed love and compassion to him. He was the problematic child that could do no wrong.

Kol is pretty low on the ranks but still above Elijah simply because he had magic. Esther would have wanted to pass on her magic somewhere even is she wasn't truly practicing. She would have loved it but also feared it. Kol would have also driven her crazy because he was always so independent and often getting in trouble.

Rebekah has a special place in her mother's heart as the only daughter she had after losing Freya. It would have been painful at first as she looked so much like the child Esther lost, but she would have viewed it as a second chance. Rebekah always had a soft spot for Esther and losing her mother devastated her.

Henrik is pretty high at the top simply because he is the youngest. Henrik seemed to have a happy spirit from the few brief moments we see him. The baby of the family is always special. His death sent Esther into such a spiral that she created vampirism.

None of this means I think Esther is an awful mother. There are definitely terrible things she does, but at the end of it, she truly loved her children. Was she the best mother in the word, no. But we have to remember she was a young woman who was also a victim.

Thanks for the ask!

#esther mikaelson #freya mikaelson #finn mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #klaus mikaelson #rebekah mikaelson #kol mikaelson #henrik mikaelson #tvdu #the originals #tvd #the vampire diaries #the mikaelsons #anon ask #fandom asks #tvd anon ask #tvd ask #fandom answers #tvdu metas #metas

[mylittleredgirl]

much more context with an episode list below the poll!

more info below by episode (forgive me in advance if i forgot your favorite doctor-evolution episode) (also forgive me for all the mistakes i will immediately see once i hit post but will be unable to fix because we can't edit poll posts):

season one: "i wasn't programmed for any of this!"

"eye of the needle": after kes starts advocating for him, janeway offers him the power to turn himself off, and he asks for a name.

"heroes and demons": he leaves sickbay for the first time and has his first non-medical mission. he's emotionally affected by freya's death at the end.

season two: "before you, i was just a projection of photons held together by forcefields [...] just a profession, not a life."

"projections": he hallucinates an existential crisis about whether he's a human or a hologram.

"twisted": the doctor spends time recreationally with the crew on the holodeck for the first time (though it's not clear if he enjoys it).

"lifesigns": he falls in love with vidiian doctor danara pel. at first he says his program is malfunctioning, but later believes his programming is adapting instead. he also records his first personal log.

season three: "i'm footloose and fancy-free."

"the swarm": his program starts to degrade because he has been expanding it for hobbies like opera and friendships with the crew. he says his program should be rebooted so he can serve his "primary responsibility," but kes and the others convince him that his memories are important to keep. (factoid: we learn his maximum runtime was supposed to be 1500 hours.)

"future's end": mobile emitter time!!! and his first time off the ship.

"darkling": he starts editing his own program (and it doesn't go well).

"real life": he creates a holo-family for himself.

according to the stardate mentioned in "latent image" (see season five), the flashback part of that episode happens at the very end of season three.

season four: "i believe i've earned the respect of the crew as an equal."

"revulsion": we meet our first delta quadrant hologram (and it doesn't go well). this is the first time we hear about holograms being subjugated by "organics."

"message in a bottle": the doctor meets the EMH-2 and reveals that at some point he programmed himself a dick and had sex.

"living witness": we learn that the doctor has a backup module who seems to have the same emotions and self-awareness as the doctor himself (which i take to mean that whatever sentience is now in his program can be duplicated by copying).

season five: "we gave him a soul. do we have any right to take it away now?"

"latent image": we learn the doctor had a holo-breakdown (off-screen in late season 3) after his ethical subroutines could not reconcile his decision to save harry's life over another patient's. at the time, they determined that erasing some of his memories was the only way to repair him. at the end of the episode, after the doctor and seven both argue for his individual rights, janeway decides to let him work through his guilt rather than deleting his memories again. assuming this ultimately works after the episode ends, it means that he was able to overcome a critical programming conflict through introspection and social support instead of altering his programming.

season six: "haven't I earned the right to self-determination?"

"tinker, tenor, doctor, spy": the doctor formally complains that his sentience is not being acknowledged and argues that he should be allowed to grow his abilities beyond his role as doctor. he also wants his potential to be evaluated based on his holographic nature rather than humanoid limits ("my program can be expanded indefinitely. i don't have limits!").

"blink of an eye": he lives for three years on the time dilation planet and even has a son ("it's a long story").

"virtuoso": he tries to leave the ship to become an opera star, choosing his passion (and his ego) over his originally programmed purpose.

side note: "fair haven" and "spirit folk" are both in season six, and that's the first time that anyone (including the doctor) seems to consider the concept that regular holodeck characters might also have some kind of feelings, personhood, or right to continued existence (unlike in season three, when in "alter ego" it's both a joke and a problem that harry falls in love with a hologram, or in "real life" when the doctor is fine with b'elanna reprogramming his family without consulting them).

season seven: "the doctor exhibits many of the traits we associate with a person [...] but are these traits real, or is the doctor merely programmed to simulate them?"

"critical care": the doctor violates the hippocratic oath in his programming by harming a patient to save others, and it does not trigger the ethical subroutine breakdown he experienced in season 5.

"body and soul": delta quadrant holograms are in revolt. the doctor experiences humanoid pleasures and enjoys them.

"flesh and blood": he betrays voyager to save the hirogen-programmed holograms and (temporarily) leaves the ship to join them, "because i'm one of you."

"author, author": a federation arbiter decides that he's not legally a person, but is "no ordinary hologram" and has some limited rights.

#polls #star trek voyager #star trek thoughts #deep dives #at some point i might do a follow-up post about when the rest of them think he becomes sentient #because i suspect that answer will be different and perhaps a little depressing #god bless the real hero of this post chakoteya.net for letting me double check all the transcripts

[tavyliasin]

All We Cannot Have - Halsin x f!Tav One Shot

Some things magic cannot heal, and Tav has held her secrets close to her chest for a long time. It was just her luck to fall for the one man who clearly longed for something out of reach... When the world felt like it was ending, his love was a comfort, his embrace a rock in the storm. But now the seas are calm once more, she knows she has to let go, to swim away and leave him the chance to find what he wants most even if it has to be without her.

And yet... Letting go is harder than holding on ever was.

--- Click Here to read on AO3

2,386 words Pairing: Tav/Halsin SPICE Rating: 0.5/5 Content Warnings: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fertility/Infertility,

Spoilers References to all acts and epilogue Canon Compliance Almost everything is canon except the character circumstances Other Notes This is a heavy and emotional chapter, so if the content is at all troubling you please feel free to skip it, or ensure you have support for your wellbeing.

Mood/Song Fear Not This Night by Freya Catherine and Jack Victor "Distant sounds of melodies calling through the night to your heart. Auroras, mists and echoes dance in the solitude of our life. Pleading silent arias gently grieving in captive misery. Darkness sings a forlorn song and yet our hope can still rise up. Nightmares come when shadows grow. Lift your voice, lift your heart.

Fear not this night, you will not go astray. Though shadows fall, still the stars find their way. And though the night sky's filled with blackness... Fear not rise up... come on and take my hand. Fear not this night, you will not go astray. Though shadows fall, still the stars find their way."

----- FULL ONE SHOT FIC BELOW THE CUT -----

Tav first noticed it at the Tiefling party. Of everyone there, he was the one speaking with the refugees, a light at the heart of the celebration. Halsin’s laughter was warm and soft, echoing around the clearing as the children hung from his arms, climbing on tables to leap onto his back. Her heart warmed even as the tears sprang unbidden to her eyes, a lingering pain still stinging in old wounds she refused to reveal.  The next time was with Arabella, the druid quietly comforting her after the fate of her parents had been uncovered. He was patient with the girl, despite how abrasive she was in the heat of her grief at first. He let her calm as he made small honey treats, the smell of the cooking eventually luring her over to try one. Tav stayed back. She had done enough damage for one day - there was never going to be a right way to tell the girl her parents were gone, after all. Arabella would only be more upset if she got involved… Not long after came Thaniel, both halves of him. Watching him carry the boy - a child by appearance alone, he was likely older than both her and Halsin put together - broke her heart in two. The worry on his face, the determination to do what was right for both of them, the deep and unwavering care was evident in every word and action. When the curse was finally lifting, she was sure he might weep as they watched the land returning to what it always should have been, the smiles of Thaniel and Oliver both reflecting in his eyes.  Even at the Last Light Inn, several times Tav saw Halsin sneaking extra rations to the refugee children, slipping a couple of coins to them, leaving things they might like unattended where they could be “stolen”. 

It had been half a century since she last thought of anything like this. She thought it might easily be another full one too, but there he was, and all the emotions were stirring without permission. Still, against better judgement, Tav’s blue-tinted skin took on a violet hue when he looked her way, the blush rising to the tips of her pointed ears. They were close in age, the moon elf finding herself drawn to her cousin-kin easily, and by all accounts they were a perfect match in every way…except that one. She would give him the world, had she any choice in the matter, but the world could not give them what his heart clearly longed for. The city was little different, first with Yenna coming to camp, then with seeing the refugees again… It was getting harder and harder to ignore it. Halsin loved them, every single one, and his face would light up brighter than the sun when they smiled. It was like he was born for the role, even though he pushed it all aside, choosing to risk his life for Tav and her friends, for a city he had no stake in… Selfless to a fault. How could she not fall in love with him? His warmth and kindness further warmed by the way she felt in his arms, the way his lips caressed her skin, how fully he would give himself over to her. Halsin was everything she had ever dreamed of in a lifetime of wanderlust. And how it broke Tav’s heart to know it couldn’t last… After the final battle, the party had lasted long into the night, and their personal celebration went past the break of dawn. One last time, she told herself, one time to remember, to sear him into her memory. 

—

The soft light of the morning sun was filtering through patchwork curtains as they began to rise - much as she might wish, staying in his arms forever was not an option. The comfort of warm blankets and a warmer embrace could not last. Halsin’s soft eyes caught the look in her own. “My heart? You look troubled, what is it? Was I too…excited, last night? Lay down, let me take care of you-” 

“No, it’s not that. You were perfect, as always.” Tav cut him off, pulling back a little, gathering her clothes to pull them back on. Maybe for the last time… It had to be. For his sake, no matter what she wanted. “What are your plans from here? For the future?”

“My love, I thought we had spoken of this. I know for certain now. The lands you helped me to heal, it will make the perfect home for everyone who is lacking one. We can rebuild. There are many who will never feel this city as a home, many more who are not welcomed by the current residents…” He reached out to touch her cheek, but she withdrew the moment he made contact like she had been scalded. She regretted it the moment she heard the hurt in his voice.  “Did I do something wrong? Was it something I said? I was hoping you would join me, to build our new home together.” 

“I’m not right for you, Halsin.” Tav could no longer meet his eyes. Her heart sank to her knot-filled stomach, the agony of the truth burning in every tear as she tried so desperately to hold back the flood. “I can’t give you what you want.” 

“There is nothing I could want more than simply to have you in my life, to have a place of our own in the Oakfather’s arms- My heart, I would be satisfied simply to grow old and grey with you.” Every moment made it harder, she couldn’t even bring herself to pull her shoulder away from the gentle hand he laid upon it. “Why would you think yourself unworthy? Nature has made no finer blessing than you.” “Nature…did not bless me, Halsin. I can never give you what you want.” As Tav talked, Halsin remained silent, listening, honey-brown eyes fixed on her even though she couldn’t bear to meet his gaze. She brought her knees to her chest, still sat on the bed and only half dressed, but she had never felt more naked than when she spoke next. “I’ve seen you. I’ve watched you, it’s impossible not to notice how badly you want a family. And…that’s what I can never give. I’ve sought every cure, been to every healer, I once even considered the aid of a Hag but thankfully had at least more sense than desperation that time. Even a Wish would be foolish - the gods have such a way of twisting the words of our dreams into the shadows of nightmares.” She sighed, the breath leaving her with the last hint of hope that had long sat abandoned in her heart. “So…I can’t go with you, it wouldn’t be fair. You deserve someone who can let you become the father you are so clearly destined to be. I love you more than any words could ever do justice, and that’s exactly why I’m doing this now…it would be unkind to us both to deny you that.” —

Halsin watched her, as he had many times. He had seen the hint of pain Tav pushed back, noticed the thin silver scars on her body when they had spent many a night together, and he saw her now. How her body shook with the emotion she had been holding back since long before they met. Desperation, loneliness, heartbreak… A part of him knew, had always known, those silver-grey eyes were a mirror. The glass was shattering, beautiful shards falling as saline rivers coursing down her cheeks and landing on the dark silk of her shirt. He wrapped his arms around his lover, pulling her close, no longer letting her make the choice to draw back and leave. Her dark hair was soft under his caress, her whole being feeling so small and fragile he never wanted to let go in case she fell apart completely. The druid had prayed to the Oakfather many times, had walked the same road of seeking answers that could never be found. Even nature’s blessings had their limits, after all. Not every dream was destined to come true. As Halsin felt Tav’s tears ebb away to the quiet of eyes that burned dry with nothing left to give, his own heart threatened to break all over again. He kissed the top of her head, wishing he could fill her with hope, give her a solution, but at the end of the day reality would always break through. 

—

Tav felt his voice as much as heard it, the soft vibration rumbling through his chest, his words quiet and warm. “My love…” He was hesitant, gentle fingers caressing her back and hair with the same affection he always had, strong arms refusing to let go. “Do you think that biology is all there is to it? That the substance of the body is what makes a family?” Tav listened, sniffling slightly, feeling a little unsure on how to answer.

“I have known for a long time that I can never father a child, but I can still be a father.” Halsin’s words came as a surprise. She had always assumed that the weight on her shoulders was one she would carry alone… It wasn’t something that lovers discussed in the early days of romance, and friends would rarely raise the topic other than to announce good tidings. It was a silent shame. Penance for sins unknown, the chains that bound the broken to the cracks in their souls that even magic could never heal- And in one moment, it all fell away.

Halsin lifted her chin with his hand, looking deep into her eyes, the spark of hope in the warm honey tones beginning to heal the old scars that had been on the edge of tearing asunder. “My heart… What we pass on is far beyond our looks, our bloodlines. We give of ourselves those deeper parts. Our love, our heart, our memories… Everything that we feel and all that we have learned is more of who we are than the red in our veins or the colour of our eyes.” “I…you never told me.” Tav blinked, realising the irony in how she had held back the truth from him just the same. “What was I to say, my love? I could see how it hurt you, I hoped that asking you to join me today would bring only joy, to promise you a future. Our future.” He kissed her forehead, hand cupping her cheek, thumb gently wiping away the stains of tears. “I thought I had wept enough for the both of us, on those nights when you rested peacefully below the stars, and all my mind could recall was how lonely you looked when the children were playing.” Tav finally released her knees from her own grip, bringing her hand to the back of the druid’s head, fingers lightly lacing through soft hair as she pressed her forehead against his own. “We should have spoken far sooner.”

His laugh was as soft and warm as the scent of moss and leather that was always present when they were this close. “Whatever shall we do with each other…” “Maybe I should apologise first. I didn’t mean to keep anything from you, or to pull away, and, gods, the last thing I really wanted to do was leave. But I thought…I thought it was the only way you could have the future you deserve.” Tav felt the embarrassment colour her cheeks a deeper violet beneath the pale blue tones that her own parents had gifted her. “You have every right to be angry with me for how foolish I’ve been.” “Anger is the furthest thing from my mind,” Halsin soothed her fears, channelling a little magic to his hand to cool her cheek. “Let us make our plans. Thaniel’s lands should be recovering well but will still need time. Yet there are plenty of people here in the city who have found themselves unwelcome, more still who feel unsafe after all they have seen in these streets. There is a town to rebuild, an Inn we can stay at, even Moonrise could be restored to become a beacon of hope again.” Tav smiled, her heart warming more than it had in many a long year. “And plenty of children who need a family.” 

“Sadly a great number of them,” Halsin replied, almost as if he felt the ripples of their loss. “They may not all wish to come with us, but we can give them an option. An open door, open arms, and open hearts.” 

“Is there ever a limit to your kindness, Halsin?” Tav rubbed her nose against his affectionately. “Possibly.” He returned the gesture, the hint of his own smile in his response this time too. “Would you like to find out?” 

“We’re going to end up rivalling Jaheira’s brood, aren’t we?” She couldn’t help but think of the older druid’s adopted family, how they all took care of each other when she was away. “But let’s not go on too many adventures, not unless we have to. I think I’ve had quite enough excitement and danger for a while.” “I couldn’t have said it better myself, my love.” Halsin finally broke the contact, leaning his head back a little to look at her again. “I cannot wait to see if any of them pick up your laugh, the way you smile in the sun, develop your terrible skills in the kitchen-”  Tav playfully bit his nose. “That was one time! But… Fine, you can teach them how to cook, which berries are safe to eat, and I’ll show them how to properly hold a sword or run from the scary old bear chasing after them to wash behind their ears.”

The pain was falling away, the pieces of broken dreams being gathered from the floor, stitched together into a new pattern. Patchwork, perhaps, and not the tapestry either of them might have imagined in centuries past, but every new thread wove something stronger. Shards of what couldn’t be beginning to form the stained glass mosaic of a brighter future now the storm had passed.

--- --- ENDING NOTES --- ---

I won't lie, I took my heart from my chest and threw it at the page, hurting every feeling I have ever had in the process. But that in itself is cathartic, the piece needed out, the story needed to be told.

Life may not always work in our favour, fate takes away choices we might have had, and some things even magic cannot solve. But healing can come in different forms, like finding a different future, and finding the last flickering light in the dark to chase the shadows away.

#halsin x tav #halsin #tav #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 #fanfic #bg3 tav #ao3fic #ao3 fanfic #angst #hurt/comfort #heavy topics #one shot fic

[littleforeignaffairs]

I think episode 7 is one of my favourites so far this series. There's some very evident growth of maturity emotionally and professionally.

The interaction between Khem and Dai

Just as Madam Freya said, start Khem from the bottom. Let him work and appreciate Deep Night. Dai knew Khemtid before he began to work at Deep Night, and Dai has watched Khem mature professionally. Even before Dai outwardly begins to cry, you can see them become emotional.

The thing I love most is.... its not Madam Freya. It's not an interaction between blood mother and son. Of course we see how proud she is of Khem; but something just resonates with me that Dai is emotional about Khem's commitment to the club.

Earlier in the series, we see Khemtid being aggressive and actually possessive when it came to Wela. Dare I say, there was a bit of rich brattiness. But when Wela tells Khemtid about his mother knowing he is a host, he is calm. He is supportive. He cries with Wela. He doesn't cry because he is directly effected; but because Wela is hurting.

Not to mention, before the big event Madam Freya tells Khem how beautiful the club looks; Khem is emotional. His commitment to the club is noticed. His commitment to his friends and boyfriend to ensure they're seen as they should be.

He doesn't lose his ballsy behavior though. He just does it in a different manner. Khem invites both a University professor and Wela's mother to the club.

It's just all growth without losing perspective of self and I just love it.

#deep night the series #deep night episode 7 #deep night ep 7 #thai bl #thai drama

[fireworksoffashion]

I love how Merlin never hated Arthur. Never felt anything even close to hate. I think the strongest negative emotion he felt towards Arthur was annoyance. But Merlin could be so negative about Arthur; Arthur's father killed Merlin's kind, because of Arthur's father Merlin's father was exiled, which led to Merlin's fatherless childhood, Arthur killed Freya (I still don't know if Merlin knows that it was Arthur though), his friend - Will died saving Arthur, all this and Merlin never felt anything negative towards Arthur (I don't think that there is any fault or wrong actions of Arthur in all this, but nevertheless it can cause strong negative emotions). Instead, despite all this, Merlin never blamed Arthur for anything (unlike Morgana, who blamed all of Uther's wrongdoings on Arthur), even when Arthur did wrong (such as killing that king or blindly listening to his uncle), Merlin said: "It's not your fault, don't blame yourself, it can happen to anyone." I don't think Arthur could do anything to make Merlin stop loving him. Also, due to his great devotion to Arthur, Merlin became his number one fan and supporter and made him a better person just by putting trust in him. In one (or more) episodes, Merlin says he trusts Arthur with his life and I believe Merlin never thought that Arthur would really hurt him if he knew that Merlin was a sorcerer, it's just that Merlin was so careful and so sensitive to Arthur’s feelings and emotions that he did not want to disappoint Arthur and become the cause of his hurt.

Just like Merlin made Arthur better, but he himself became so morally grey. By season 5, Merlin has become ruthless towards anyone who could potentially harm Arthur. Merlin basically told Arthur: "F*ck knights, I need you safe, let's go home."

The way Merlin was willing to kill the child because of Arthur. The way he poisoned Morgana without even trying to talk to her first. The way Merlin lashed out at anyone who could hurt Arthur. When Merlin found out that Gwen was enchanted by Morgana, he only cared about what she could do to Arthur, not what actually happened to Gwen. The way Merlin turned down Arthur's offer to accept magic (which was supposed to be his life's goal) to protect Arthur. All this and more.

And I feel like Merlin's love for Arthur was his driving force, it's what made Merlin the greatest sorcerer of all time. But "I'm using it for you, Arthur, only for you"...

#Merlin #Merlin bbc #bbc Merlin #merthur #merlin x arthur #prince arthur #arthur pendragon

[klonnieshippersclub]

How would Klaus and Bonnie deal with a no humanity Hope?

This is a tough question. I think Bonnie and Klaus would do anything to prevent Hope from becoming the tribrid in the first place. They'd want to protect her at all costs and becoming a vampire means dying. Secondly, I think Bonnie would be very committed to Hope's emotional and mental well-being. Klaus and Bonnie try to be the support system that Hope needs. If she turns off her humanity, that would mean they failed to protect her. How would they turn her humanity on? There are two potential quick fixes. Bonnie uses her psychic powers to influence Hope or Klaus compels Hope (can she be compelled? She isn't an Original, so maybe?). In actuality, nothing is ever that simple for them.

Bonnie would understand the desire to run away from your emotions. Growing up in the supernatural world is unpredictable. It’s scary, and filled with grief. If there is anyone that knows pain and wants a mental way out of it. Bonnie does, however, Bonnie doesn’t have a humanity switch. She never had the privilege to flip it unlike her vampiric counterparts. Therefore she would sympathize with Hope’s feelings. Hope turned her emotions off so she wouldn’t have to deal with her cycle of grief. Bonnie wouldn’t allow Hope to keep her emotions off.

Klaus would originally be her biggest enabler here until he realizes he cannot let her go around feeling nothing. After Hayley died, Klaus encouraged Hope to kill Roman. It is Hope who had to calm her father down and get him to understand why she couldn’t just murder Roman even though he’s wronged her. Klaus wouldn’t correct Hope at all no matter who she snapped off at. Hope wanting to knock Rebekah’s teeth out? Rebekah shouldn’t have irritated her. Jokes about Elijah’s absence? Elijah falsely-noble behavior was irritating. Thinks Freya is too focused on herself. Klaus response is she’s selfish. If Hope was to make a comment about how bad of a father she thinks he is. Klaus would seldomly agree. Once Klaus stops being her enabler things would change for the better.

#klonnie #bonnie bennett #klaus mikaelson #bonnie x klaus #klaus x bonnie #the vampire diaries #tvd #hope mikaelson #anon ask #rikkisinbox

[stupidrant]

Yes, thank you for bringing up the Atreus matter and him not being responsible for Kratos's past sins. I may be critical of some of Thrud's behaviors and her personal choice to perpetuate Odin's toxicity when it suited her, both in terms of Aesir vs Jotunn history and even more so on domestic matters. Such as Thrud willfully ignoring Odin's abusive behaviors towards her own family or shaming a victim of his domestic violence - Freya - just because she wanted to get into Odin's good graces and get his approval to become a Valkyrie.

However, it'd be problematic to hold her accountable for Odin and Thor's actions while not holding Atreus to the same standard (and we know Kratos committed war crimes in the past and innocent people died because of him, if the information I have about the original saga is correct). Like you say, Atreus is not to blame for anything done by someone else, including his father, but he might be forced to face the wrath of some of his father's past enemies.

Same challenge might come Thrud's way which might prompt her to delve into Aesir and Jotnar history more thoroughly and thoughtfully (as opposed to just going with the flow and doing what benefited her at the current moment).

Regarding Angrboda, she generally had a limited experience with social interaction and admitted just that during her first meeting with Atreus. She instigated communication with other people mainly - if not entirely - for their benefit, without asking for help or support (be it physical or emotional) for herself (she only asked Atreus to help her with the hard labor she was engaging daily in Ironwood to take HIS mind off of the stress of the prophesy and teach him about their heritage because that was what HE wanted/needed at the moment).

We know from Skjoldr that Angrboda turned to Midgardians post Ragnarok to offer HER assistance to help them hunt for food, providing her wolves.

Likewise, Angrboda's first conversation with Kratos was when she wanted to soften the pain of impending father and son separation and revealed a vital piece of history about Faye. Notably, Angrboda spoke of Faye and her love for Atreus with utmost respect even when she noted that Faye "went up against their people" to protect him. Therefore Angrboda doesn't appear the type of person to consider anyone who doesn't tow the metaphorical "party line" a traitor.

She herself valued Atreus's free will and free choice above the prophesies or her own late mother's words because she respected him as an individual. Despite what her mother had said about Loki needing time to ready himself for giant magic and soul whispering Angrboda went along with putting a soul in the giant Serpent when Atreus himself was terrified of what he was doing (and guided him through the process, remaining calm even when he believed it didn't work).

Likewise, Angrboda shared HIS responsibility when he gave her the marbles even though, again, it contradicted the prophesies or the story of the Jotunn Champion Loki that she grew up knowing. When he asked to call him Atreus she didn't argue and later did just that (after a very traumatic encounter with Gryla).

Another interesting and adorable detail is that when Angrboda realized Atreus wasn't ready for the Champion title she tried to lighten the situation and ease the weight of it for him by teasingly calling him "Champ" numerous times. Thus turning a mantle frightening and burdening for him into a personal playful joke rather than a grand responsibility to their people he wasn't yet ready to assume.

Post game it's Kratos, Freya and Mimir who come to visit Angrboda and Fen in Ironwood - once again, THEY seek her out, not the other way round. Angrboda, as we see, is keeping herself busy with her daily chores, to which recently departed Atreus once again added Fen (and Angrboda agreed to take "good care" of him twice, no questions asked).

When Kratos asks about other giants, Angrboda evasively mentions her grandmother and their strained relationship (and only because Mimir presses the issue) but doesn't delve into just how bad the situation is for her. Thus, once again, preparing to deal with this problem on her own.

Therefore, while it's important that Angrboda gain a support system in the form of other people who would reach out to her and offer their help (because she's too emotionally independent to ask for it), it's unlikely Thrud becomes one of those people. They differ fundamentally in terms of values and attitude towards life. Thrud has a consumerist/personal convenience approach whereas Angrboda values responsibility and respect for others above all else.

The possible scenario you mention about Thrud using her training as a form of addiction, thus sliding into her late father's unhealthy habit of avoidance instead of tackling problems at hand, is not out of the realm of possibility. But I personally wouldn't mind that scenario if it is addressed as an unhealthy way of dealing with issues and if she works through it eventually.

Once again, I believe that Thrud could benefit from Freya's influence who already went through the process of facing past pain and trauma and moving on from that ("[the sword] no longer holds his [Odin's] legacy but it will serve as mine" could work as a parallel to Thrud and Mjölnir).

Thrud was selfish but im sure she'll get better with time despite all of that. while she heavily derives from her father, im sure after all of the events plus with sif around to help guide her as much as she can maybe freya and sigrun as well. with them around, surely she will be more selfless. as for Angrboda, i agree i would appreciate it if she had a bigger support system ready for her and i think outside of atreus, i would love it to be gryla and i'd hope to see some off-screen progress between her and angrboda so that way by the time next game comes, its more light. also would love kratos offering himself more towards her which i anticipate the most lol

#i love that parallel at the end btw it definitely could be for her as well! #thrud #thor #sif #god of war ragnarok #god of war #asks #kratos

[grievedeeply]

Can I ask for headcanons?

Freyr taking care of reader on their period!

I love your writing so much, you're amazing 🤭

this is such a nice request :) my periods are so bad so i'm going to be projecting onto this lol. hope you all enjoy even though it's short. i'm trying to get back into the swing of writing for gow so this'll have to do LOL

reader has a period, but no pronouns are used. | warnings: periods & everything that comes with them | join my taglist :)

freyr taking care of his s/o on their period

he doesn't experience periods, but he knows a decent amount about them. he doesn't find them gross or weird to talk about. he encourages you to talk about it and the pain that comes with it. he knows it's hard on you

he's your emotional support throughout the week. always by your side, bringing you whatever you might need to help relieve your discomfort

i just know that if he lived in the modern world he would be at the store buying whatever you need. pads, tampons, pantyliners, chocolate, anything

rubs your shoulders and kisses your neck because he knows that area gets really tense, especially whenever you're on your period

through his relationship with you, he learns exactly how to take care of someone with a period. even though he grew up with freya, he never really knew what a period was or what it meant

now though... he'll help to take care of her too. even if she doesn't ask for it. he talks all the time about how she helped him a lot through their childhood and teenage years, he wants to repay her in some way

she lets him help sometimes, just to let him feel useful even if she doesn't need it

he's definitely going to dote on you. you could be feeling fine and he's still in your ear asking a ton of questions about how your pain is and if you need anything

he cares a lot and wants to help you in any way he can. it's part of his love languages.. acts of service <3

cuddling!!! he doesn't know how much it helps you, but you seem to enjoy it, so he keeps doing it. it's on of his favorite things to do anyways so he won't complain

he loves you and wants to show it. whenever your period comes... just let him help. it makes him feel really good knowing he's able to relieve some stress from you

tags: @graciegizmo3184 @chocokaylarobin @uncoveredsun @caelestis-lyrae @prio-motu @bluehorizon987 @freyrees @multifand0m-gal0re @huan-chan @onlydeas @orangeflavouredwitch @hayleethefrog @dott-up @imcomingforyourskin @itsnat-bitch @mimothemoth @elizabeth-hatake @ink-sap @fandomcatchall @lacm-ac @thatspookyagent @kise-kae @closet-creature @judyfromfinance @aikochan4859 @xoxoliyahhxoxo @lil-anxty @black-star1472 @trippingoverstars @aiciteaa @fennsinhumanity @dijanur @sp-the-fae-queen @kenzi-woycehoski @kainiac142

#god of war x reader #gow x reader #god of war freyr x reader #freyr x reader #freyr god of war x reader #freyr god of war

[becauseimanicequeen]

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Deep Night ep. 7

The preview for this episode showed that a lot of focus will be on Wela (and, therefore, also Khem). I do hope I get some throuple moments as well. I mean, we just got a Seji and Pan kiss last episode (a kiss Ken saw) so there has to be some reaction to that in this one, right? Please, show, don’t disappoint me on this front!

I knew that girl would come back and bite everyone in the ass (not literally, though that would’ve been more fun to watch…).

The way James is standing between Great’s legs… I’m kind of annoyed we’ve only gotten crumbs of these two.

Seriously, iQIYI. Will you ever sub text messages and social media posts/comments? I won’t hold my breath, though…

Well, look at that! More Great and James crumbs! It’s funny how much I love them compared to the minimal crumbs we’ve been getting.

Fuck me! I’m 11 minutes into the episode, and this series is seriously making me fall in love with Seji and Pan’s relationship. So much so, I (of all people!) am questioning the thruple?! Hey, show, don’t fucking do this to me! I want poly! I need poly! Give me what you’ve been promoting, for fuck’s sake!

I don’t want to sway… *rocking back and forth*. I don’t want to sway… I need to calm down…

Btw, Seji is looking so fucking fine.

The way Seji hesitated before he said Pan was his boyfriend when he talked to Ken…

Poor Wela. His life is falling apart just because he wanted a job that paid well enough to pay off his dad’s debt.

At least he has Khem as emotional support.

Lol, people really have nothing better to do than take sneaky photos of others and whisper behind their backs. That’s so tragic…

Well, if that teacher was still Porsche’s daddy in Playboy, he would frequent the Deep Night Club for sure. As the teacher here, though?

Damn, Seji and Ken’s new routine looked like they were rolling around in the hay.

Hey, mom, where’s your girlfriend?

There she is!

Freya saying she’s old is the most bullshit thing I’ve ever heard in this series. It’s even more bullshit than all the verbal diarrhea coming out of Khem’s aunt’s mouth every time she shows up… Freya is anything but old.

All this talk about Pan and Seji eating each other but not doing it is killing me.

Oh, here goes!

Fuck, they were interrupted…

The way Seji stepped in front of Pan and the way Pan is hiding behind Seji! Why is this series doing this to me?!

Why the fuck are they standing on that table or whatever while the others are standing on the floor questioning them about their relationship? That’s so weird.

James is basically suggesting poly without actually suggesting poly. I love this man. He and I are on the same page (even though this episode is giving me whiplash).

OMFG! Not Khem showing Pan a threesome! (Even though it’s pixilated as hell, it looks like a scene from Playboy, doesn’t it? The one with daddy Aob, Puen, and a client.)

Pan said he didn’t want it, but I swear, he’s thinking about it.

Wait a fucking second! Is he actually thinking about it? As in fantasizing about it?!

OMFG! Yes. Here’s Ken too!

I swear, if Pan ends up doing what I kind of joked about him doing, I’ll go to heaven faster than a fucking rocket.

Shirtless Seji!

Shirtless Ken!

Shirtless Pan!

I fucking love that Pan fantasizes about him being the center of this throuple. It could also be how it actually turns out, though.

Thank every higher power that I’m back on the throuple train again!

What? Freya?! I thought they were girlfriends…

Khem taking care of Wela is my favorite Khem. A little emotional support can go a looooong way.

Come on Khem, teach your mom a thing or two about love.

I get Freya, though. If we ignore that she’s only using lame excuses not to be with Meji… Sometimes it’s easy to be accepting of others (like Freya accepting that Khem likes another boy) but not be as accepting of ourselves (like her own feelings for another woman). It’s a good thing Freya had Khem to reassure her that it’s okay to love, no matter who it is.

All three in the throuple seem to be having a lot on their minds. Is the throuple finally throuple-ing? Are we finally getting some real progress here?

Wait, why is Great sitting on the floor and drinking by himself? Is he afraid to tell James what he wants (considering James’ comment earlier in the episode)?

Khem is Ticketmaster in the flesh, handing out tickets for the club’s re-opening.

They are deliberately hiding the throuple from the preview, right? Showing just a little bit would spoil the whole climax, wouldn’t it? Or am I just being delulu enough to actually expect poly in the next episode?

Honestly, the only thing I remember from this episode right now are the throuple moments. The moments between Pan and Seji in the beginning, James and Khem hinting at poly, and then Pan actually fantasizing about it (and getting a boner). They better fucking make it happen in the next episode (since it’s the last one).

It’s a good thing I think my clown car is pretty and smells much better than a Wunderbaum air freshener…

#deep night the series #thai ql #thai bl #thai series #my shit #iq random thoughts