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likesdoodling · 4 months

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It has been a while since I started digital art,

Quite a while.

So here is a 'progress over the last two years' since I gained access to a drawing tablet.

This is my first ever digitally illustrated piece- compared to my latest one-

So, a little bit different.

I do think my art took quite a jump around June 2022, when I took a break from my Steve comic strip, (for obvious reasons- it was about Technoblade's polar bear so...) and decided to try practicing gesture drawing to see if it helped my general anatomy knowledge. This is before,

And this next one is after.

The most obvious change here is that I switched to using thinner lines. There is a gap of about two months between these.

This was when I realised that you could improve art by practicing it (mind-blowing I know), and then started to do just that. Some other notable jumps forward would be when I discovered the airbrush-

Well, discovered a new method of shading with it anyway.

Then after that I had a few pictures that I actually still like, despite them being pretty old at this point, the one below is actually from September of 2022-

I mean, the hands are a bit iffy, but the rest looks alright. This was when I was going through a bit of a melanie martinez phase-

This next one was from January of 2023, I'd only just gotten into bungou stray dogs via some random memes on pinterest about this weird brown haired guy who had lots of bandages and who had this running gag with wanting to die- I actually looked him up at one point, but that didn't really explain much. The main one that I remember was 'life is short, so make it shorter, shorter than chuuya~'

Which at the time was just kind of confusing,

Then I watched the show and it made perfect sense.

I'd discovered ascendance of a bookworm in like, 2021, but I hadn't really been doing fanart of it since I was mainly doing dsmp related stuff and I kind of assumed nobody would know what on earth I was referencing. Turns out tumblr has a lot more bookworm fans than I orignally anticipated. Instagram still has no clue. I think maybe one person out of my followers on instagram knows what I'm on about-

Then we've got these two which I am still proud of btw-

The first one is from a dystopian/time travel fanfic called viridian.

The second one was after I learned about rim lighting. It was inspired by a song actually, 'crash' by noevaii. (and yes I found that song from a sad-ist animatic, it was cool) The character isn't anyone in particular. They're both from February 2023.

Then there's probably my most liked picture on instagram, (not tumblr, since tumblr knows about bsd and bookworm, but y'know. This was even sadder than I originally intended since the last half of my comic strip was finished AFTER everything happened)

Then the final conclusion of my Steve comic strip in May of 2023.

I don't think my art really changed much in between those, but eh.

Then I switched to doing a bunch of ascendance of a bookworm stuff to see what would happen and turns out there are way more fellow fans out there than I anticipated-

Then I guess my next breakthrough in tumblr popularity, (even if it might not have been a breakthrough in art skills necessarily) was when things went DOWN in the bsd fandom with chapter 109 and I did probably one of my most liked tumblr posts I have ever done-

If you want to see the rest of that, feel free to scroll down on my tumblr page, the original's like eight pages long-

This was before anyone knew what was going to happen btw.

I still think it's hilarious that I put in chuuya having contacts. My reasoning being, they're on a film set,

It was a pretty interesting exercise in shading in monochrome.

Then I started a 30 day art challenge in October that I didn't get past day six of, but it was still pretty fun. This is the best one of those-

After that I spent most of my time studying for the jlpt n5, so I didn't really do that much art related stuff,

This is one of the two non-commission related pictures that I finished over the two months after I kind of gave up on the art challenge. This one's from November,

Then I finally finished an art commission I'd been working on for the three months prior, as well as studying. Here is an example of the type of pictures I was doing for that,

Then I was occupied with christmas and birthday presents for my siblings, both my little sisters are into ascendance of a bookworm- (completely my fault I am proud to say) so I was able to do stuff related to that, here's a couple of snippets, but you guys don't get the colour version hehe

And one of them has also read the entire fma manga just like I have so-

Anyway, it's been quite a progression since I resolved to master digital art in 2021.

I reckon I've come a fair way since then. I mean. My art skills in general are way better than they used to be. The last two or three years have been pretty interesting.

Also-

Just had to include this one, I'm gonna do a more detailed version but still-

I think it's funny so I'm posting it here. Even if it's not really related to art progression-

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love-toxin · 1 year

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my ass is craving for male! angel face who's in the basketball team and is flirty little shit who's a perv with a perv! bully! Eddie

teehee....flirty male angelface my love.....

pretty boy

(cws: bully!perv!eddie, flirty!jock!m!angelface, homophobia, "freak" used in the homophobic sense, violence/fighting, bruises, one shower trope [kinda], clothes stealing, bullying, eddie's got a staring problem, angel's kind of a charming loner.)

you're kind of an anomaly--you're pretty well-liked, and the girls just flock to you most of the time, but you don't really date or have many friends. of course, that just maximizes the intrigue for the ladies, but you're really not too worried about them....not that they or most people really know that. on the other hand, despite being one of the better basketball players in Hawkins, your team absolutely despises you. Sinclair's pretty much the only one who doesn't, he's a pretty cool kid and you've enjoyed giving him some pointers now and again, but Jason and the rest of them often like to throw names your way and do their best to keep you on the bench as much as possible. if you weren't the one getting them through most of the finals, you'd probably just quit, and the coach wouldn't be begging you to stay--you really only do it cause you like it, and it's a way to pass the time.

of course, the most pressing reason they hate you is cause you're different--you're a freak, and they make sure you remember that every time they force you to wait outside until they're all done showering and changing. and yet you're rarely ever really alone when you finally get off the bench with a sigh and walk in, the empty changing room squeaking to life when you flip on the shower to wash off. if it wasn't for Eddie, they'd probably never suspect you, and you could get through your second try of your last year in peace--you probably wouldn't be on your second try in the first place.

but you have to be honest with yourself. at the end of the day, you haven't really done much to keep him away. you like the attention, but you only really like it from him--including when you feel his eyes on your back as you rub soap down your arms. for all his chains and buttons and leather, the man moves like a damn panther when he doesn't want to be heard.

"if you wanna beat me up, take a number. I already got my ass kicked once today." you chuckle, knowing he's closer than you think if you can feel him staring so intensely, as you call out into the echoey locker room. "unless you're just here to steal my clothes, in which case you're gonna have to figure out my new locker combo. try your birthday, babe." you smile to yourself, knowing you're earning yourself a higher place on Eddie's shit list the more you tease him. although, to be frank, you're pretty much the only name on that list in the first place.

the silence creeps in closer, hanging in the background of the hail of warm water hitting your body and the cold tiles under your feet. there's not even an ounce of shuffling that you can hear, and it dampens your smile until you find yourself scowling at the silver shower handle in front of you.

"they asked about you, y'know." you say with a sobering voice, lathering your body wash in a rougher manner than you need to between your hands. "last time they beat me up. asked if I was gonna go suck you off after practice for your devil rituals."

people's opinions don't generally bother you, you try not to let them--it's one of the reasons why you're such a target, especially for Eddie, who's always trying to get a reaction out of you. he loves it when you show even an inkling of losing your cool, of snapping back at him, but he rarely gets the passionate response that he really wants. so he keeps pushing, pushing, pushing, until it takes all you have to grit your teeth and smile so you don't punch him right in that stupid, pretty face.

"....you know, you really don't make my life easy, you prick." you huff. "but by all means, take what you want. go show it off to your shitty little friends at satan worship club."

you can't imagine he does anything else with the things of yours he steals, other than pawn them off or keep them for whatever reason. you'd feel more violated if he didn't occasionally sneak them back into your locker or your backpack--always washed, which just makes you more concerned than angry.

".....Eddie?" you call out again, leaning back and searching the space you can see from where you stand, a twinge of panic shooting through you at the uncanny silence. if he was watching you, he'd usually make himself known at some point--and now you fear it might not be him, and goosebumps rise to your skin at the thought that some of your team members are waiting in the wings to dish out more humiliating punishment. and if they've been listening to what you've said when you thought you were talking to Eddie, you really fear for yourself. but just as you're reaching to turn the handle and shut off the water, a sudden thud makes you jump and then there's someone standing in the doorway between the shower block and the locker room.

that messy mop of hair gives it away immediately, a towel wrapped round his waist that comes off as he approaches the showerhead right next to yours and turns it on. you catch Eddie's grin from your peripheral as you go from gawking openly at him showing up to averting your eyes when he strips himself bare, so used to avoiding even the appearance of impropriety around other guys that it's just habit--even though Eddie's staring pretty obviously when you manage to look him in the eyes. the wash of water pouring over his head mats down his curls and accentuates the distinct features of his face, as well as the ink contrasting his fair skin that seems to crop up everywhere you dare to look.

"devil rituals, huh? clever." his smile doesn't reach his eyes, those big, brown beauties betraying something that chills you a little when they're directed at you. he goes about washing himself off, but he's clearly distracted--and so are you, rendered speechless even when he steals a bit of your body wash and rubs it down his chest, staring off into the distance as you try to focus on doing the same. it's strange. oddly domestic, showering next to each other.....and Eddie keeps glancing back in the direction of the door, seemingly keeping his ears perked for any sounds outside the norm. "....that where the bruises came from?"

he asks it so casually you almost do a double take, but thinking better of it, you keep yourself fixed on one of the random floor tiles as the answer just dribbles out of you.

"getting 'beat up'....that was a little dramatic. they just kinda....throw me around. can't break their star player's arm, y'know." you laugh without a shred of humour behind it, running through the events of this morning behind the school like they just happened. it's always just a little scuffle, some pushing and shoving and sometimes a punch thrown, it's mostly the jeers that hurt--and you know better than to fight back, lest they flex that power they have to make sure nobody believes you over them. you're associated with Eddie Munson, after all.

you rub over one of the bruises on your ribs, hissing sharply but quietly at the ache as your fingers graze it. doesn't help that your teammates, save Sinclair, thoroughly enjoy elbowing you or tossing the ball hard enough that those spots hurt even more during practice. and Eddie notices, as he always does, even though you'd never think he would.

"let's get one thing straight," Eddie turns his gaze to yours, and pierces you straight to the bone. it's weird, you don't really get close to a lot of people, but Eddie always seems to be able to read you like nobody else could. "it's no fun to dogpile someone that's already on the ground. it's just depressing."

he flicks his wet hair over his shoulder, and you follow the motion it makes as it drapes over his shoulder and down his back. he's not really that hairy, aside from the smattering of hair down his stomach that leads to--you shake your head free of where you're tempted to look, though the thought doesn't wrestle free from your mind and won't for a while. without a reply, Eddie rinses the rest of the soap off that he's lathered around that area, and thinks hard before he speaks again.

"where's the fun in pushing you around if you're just going through the motions? besides, you look so pathetic when you're lonely." lonely. does he really think that way? does he know how often you lay awake in the mornings, knowing what's coming in the day ahead, and wishing you weren't so much of a freak that you could have some friends to rely on when things get too hard to deal with?

"so you're keeping me company?" you test, sharing another look that he keeps locked so you don't even think you could break it if you tried.

"nothing of the sort." he smirks as he takes stock of your body one more time, from the toes to the top of your head. "I'm just enjoying the view."

with that, he shuts off his own shower, and pads away without a second glance to leave you watching his back, up until he turns the corner to the lockers and disappears. with a bit of shuffling and shifting clothes, you listen closely until his shoes thump against the floor and the door opens, before slowly creaking shut with a final thunk.

"so you are a freak." you speak aloud to nobody but yourself, a chuckle coming off your lips borne of nothing but disbelief. you just have to roll your eyes as you turn the handle on your own shower, but there's a grin you can't hide creeping across your lips as the spout sputters to an end and you wrap your towel round your hips, before following where Eddie had gone and approaching the lockers around the corner. but when you see what he left for you, you grimace.

"oh, you asshole."

your locker door left open and empty, your bag sits clearly rummaged through on the bench, one of your socks having fallen to the floor while the rest of your clothes are missing. and when you pull it open all the way to see if there's anything to salvage your dignity other than a measly towel, you're met with a very familiar logo as you lean over it.

sitting crumpled and half-folded, but very clearly smoothed out so you wouldn't miss it, is Eddie's Hellfire shirt. pushing it aside, you see the jeans he must've been wearing today rolled up underneath. no underwear to speak of, although you're not sure you'd wanna wear his anyways. with everyone else gone, you have no other options--so you're forced to don the sweaty clothes that reek of cigarettes and weed, but even moreso, they reek of Eddie. part of you wonders, as you huff and gather your things together to beat a hasty retreat out of the school, whether people will notice that Eddie's wearing your clothes too. maybe they'll wonder....

whatever. you need to get out of here, and you sling your bag over your shoulder before hurrying out the door and shoving your hands in pockets that aren't yours, tilting your head down and hoping nobody spots you--but just as you're at the doors that lead out to your car, you hear someone's voice down the semi-empty hall; what sounds like a very familiar freshman squabbling with someone.

"Eddie, what the hell?! if you're gonna make me cover for you, at least come back on time! and where's your shirt? why's your hair wet?"

"nunya, Henderson. let's get going."

and when you turn to look, there's Eddie, looming over his protégé with that same award-winning smile--the two of them turn to walk down the hall towards their clubroom, but before they duck in through the door, Eddie turns his head over his shoulder to lock eyes with you, completely knowingly. he runs his stare over your body one more time, clearly enjoying how you fill out his clothes as he mouths the words "pretty boy", and winks in your direction before vanishing through the doorway and closing it behind him.

he's one to talk, he's really one to talk--looking so much softer in your sweater and acid-wash jeans, so cute, that you have to cover the flickering smile you've got at the compliment with your hand as you step out into the chilly air, and feel your still-damp skin prickle as the breeze hits it while you walk to your car.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #bully!eddie munson #eddie's angelface #male angelface #st 4 #stranger things #ellie writes #anons

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henrysglock · 7 months

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The funniest thing is that I now have this reputation for being super dead-set in my theories, when really I'm just waiting for concrete evidence that disproves everything my friends and I have put forth, while also being extremely sick and tired of this burden of proof fallacy we as a fandom have going on.

Like I don't know if anyone here remembers, but I used to be a super die-hard "Henry is One is Vecna" guy. That's because no one could provide me evidence to the contrary. I had evidence with no contradictions. That is, until the newspaper thing came up in filmed canon. And then the jumpsuit thing came up in filmed canon. And then the timeline inconsistencies came up in filmed canon. All things you can send me a picture or a timestamp of! Tangible contradicting evidence.

And y'know what?

I changed my mind...because I was given concrete contradictions.

If anyone showed me an argument I couldn't dismantle with tangible evidence (i.e. referenceable material. Not opinions, thoughts, or feelings), then maybe I'd back down. So far, though, no one's been able to provide any tangible evidence to the contrary. It's just "The writers aren't that smart" and "It's a production error"...despite having statements from the production team and actors that support the exact opposite and no evidence that this theory is outside the realm of possibility.

No one's been able to give me a good reason not to take my theories as genuinely plausible. I'd actually love to have someone give me proof that my evidence is flawed, since it would give me the chance to make my theories more accurate. But no one ever does.

And you might go "Oh, James, that's a burden of proof fallacy on your part, since you're asking people to prove you wrong".

Which, if I were saying: "Actually, I think there's a second timeline, and that some dude named Edward is Vecna instead."

And when asked for evidence, all I replied with was: "I don't have evidence, but can you prove that there isn't a second timeline?"

Then yes, that would be a burden of proof fallacy on my part.

But I keep providing concrete evidence. I keep supporting my argument with post after post filled with screenshots and interviews and tangible evidence of my claims.

Thus, it becomes...

"I don't think there's a second timeline. I don't have any contradicting evidence, but can you prove that there is a second timeline?"

Wherein I reply: "Here is my evidence that there's a second timeline." (with pictures and links attached)

To which the reply is: "Hm. I don't believe your evidence. The Duffers are too stupid for this, and everything you've shown is a production error. Until you can, without any doubt, prove otherwise...I think you're not only wrong, but also mean and stuck up too. And I hope you die of shame if ST5 is released and you're not correct. Which is what I wholeheartedly believe...without any evidence to support that claim."

As such, I am not the one engaging in a burden of proof fallacy. I've provided my evidence, and lots of it. I continuously bear my burden of proof.

Provide me strong counter-evidence, and I might back down. Not "I think they will..." or "I wouldn't like it if they..." or "I feel like they should...". Timestamps. Screenshots. Articles and interviews. BTS pictures. ANYTHING TANGIBLE THAT YOU CAN POINT TO.

Until then? I'm not the cunt here. Not in this situation, at least.

#anyway. just some Thoughts.#rant #vent #fandom wank

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hopeymchope · 8 months

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Do you think you can help me out? I don't understand why everyone loves Ibuki so much. I mean, I don't want to hate her, but the one thing I don't like is her music. It's been bothering me ever since I learned that she's a fan favorite, I want to know if anyone doesn't like Ibuki because of her music. I get that her popularity has to do with her jokes and fashion, but some of it feels like dark humor to me. You can read my blog for more info if you want (some of it doesn't make sense though).

I don't think anyone likes Ibuki's music aside from Hiyoko, lol. (Unless, of course, you're talking about that amazing fan recording of what "I Squeezed Out the Baby But I Have No Idea Who the Father Is" could sound like, which I would say is an absolute jam.) Just look at everyone else's reaction to it in-game! So you're definitely not alone in such an opinion; I'd be stunned to learn if ANY fans legitimately liked her in-game/in-anime music, actually. I always thought the whole POINT was that it's supposed to sound like a cacophony of garbage. But having some crap musical preferences isn't usually enough to hate OR love somebody, y'know? Whether they're real OR fictional.

(But please, y'all: If any of you legitimately love — or, like @dangan-kagura, totally hate — Ibuki for her.... eccentric musical style, I'd love to hear about that. I want to know you exist!)

But ultimately, I think Ibuki is beloved by the DR fanbase because of three main reasons:

A) Yes, she's funny and cartoonishly positive and speaks in the third person, but she also runs deeper/smarter than she usually acts. We do tend to really dig characters with layers to them that run deeper than our first superficial impression.

B) We also love someone who is relentlessly individualistic and shows no signs of caring what other people think of her. There's an admirable quality to her, particularly in how she's pursuing her music when we meet her.

C) A character with queer undertones (overtones?) is always a character that fandoms will gravitate towards.

Let me go a little more in-depth on those points.

Regarding point A: Obviously, Ibuki acts like a goofball a lot of the time, which can be endearing. But she also surprisingly pulls her weight in the class trials by catching others in lies, pressing people for answers, reporting on exactly what sounds/voices came from where at what points during Chapter 1's murder, and so on. She can be quite insightful — remember that in DR3's Despair Arc, she's the only person in Class 77-B who points out that there's something between Fuyuhiko and Peko — that they're clearly closer than they pretend to be. All of the above speaks to how lowkey observant she is, which supports how she can drop some legit wisdom, such as her mini-speech about "finding oneself" during her final FTE in Island Mode.

Regarding point B: As we gradually learn her background in-game from various conversations and FTEs, we find that she once wrote and co-performed a song with her Light Music Club that became a top-charting single. That fact combined with her incredible guitar skills helped her get scouted by Hope's Peak as the "Ultimate Musician." Even so, she ditched her club and quit pop music so she could make the heavier, harder music SHE wanted to make. And... it's not exactly being well-received, but she doesn't seem to give a damn. She left behind the easy route to praise and loads of cash so she could maintain her artistic integrity and do what she's passionate about and loves doing. That's easy to admire.

Regarding point C: At the end of Island Mode, if the player/Hajime suggests they could now be "lovers," she rejects that notion with a strong "DENIED!" Plus she talks about her heart pounding hard when she sees the other girls in their swimsuits. And there's her request for Mahiru to take picutres of Mikan in compromising positions when poor Tsumiki falls in Chapter 1. And, y'know... the infamous "Welcome to the world of girl love!" quote. All this together has made her be popularly believed to be gay or at least bi/pansexual, and characters with those kinds of hints just always get a lot of love from fans. Geeks do love their slash.

I hope this helped you understand why people are fond of her — including myself. I'd probably put her anywhere from tier 1 to tier 3 of my favorite characters, depending on the day. She's not a lock for the top level by any means, but I'm still a fan and enjoy her presence.

#danganronpa screenshots #danganronpa #ibuki mioda #asks #dr2 spoilers

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black-cat-aoife · 6 months

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Tagged by @kathastrophen

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

somehow I need to write words before typing the number 55 because otherwise this very functioning website fucks up the formatting

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

77,339

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sad Cops The last ones were for Blind Ermittelt, Detective Anna, Endeavour and Polizeiruf Frankfurt.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In Which Everybody Regrets Their Life Choices (Daredevil)

The Tale of the Beautiful Professor (Guardian)

Tee Mit Folgen (Tatort Berlin)

Adam, Vincent und die Eule (Polizeiruf Frankfurt)

A Sickbed Visitor (Society of Gentlemen)

OK, technically there's another Daredevil Fic on 2, but it's a collection of shorter fills for a prompt meme so does that count?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes. I try to respond to all but occasionally fall in the "Oh yeah I will do that later" trap where I...y'know...don't do it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I had a whole paragraph here, about how I don't usually write Angst and wanted to name a few sort-of-angsty ones, and then I remembered, that I did in fact write Never To Be Told which is very angsty.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

A lot, but Look Not Into My Eyes has a veeeery sappy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

None yet

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Well, if you equate "crazy" with "nobody but me wrote it" then it's my Ein Fall For Zwei/Tatort Saarbrücken Crossover. But honestly: a crossover between two crime shows that feature abusive dads whose heads make sudden contact with blunt instruments and the resulting fallout from that is not particularly crazy. I also have this idea for a Blind Ermittelt/Allmen one, but as it's so often the case that's all vibes, no plot so far.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I once wanted to, and we even discussed some plot ideas, but then I got ghosted

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Yeah, Niko/Alex caught me like few others, but I also always will have a soft spot for Till/Felix

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Currently, I'm having a really hard time with my Alex & Sophie pre-canon fic, because it requires writing Alex shortly after the attack, and I am not sure if I can do that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm quite good at character-voices, both in dialogue and when internal-monologuing

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Getting from one scene to the next. Also in dialogues the right amount of surrounding description. I tend to start off with a screenplay, and then turn it into character says one sentence, followed by three paragraphs of description.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I hate it. Either your POV character understands what is said, and then you can tell the audience what is being said, or they don't, and then you just write "they were talking in XY." Don't make me use Google Translate to understand your fic. And don't make me read phrases like heiße schokolade mit gepeitschter creme, because your foreign language knowledge also comes from Google Translate. (That is an example from an actually published book, but my feelings on that transcend the fanfic/pubfic barrier, and I also read enough bullshit in fanfic).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. As in write-write. I don't think I ever wrote down any of the Sailor Moon self insert I made up.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Hmm I wrote A Sickbed Visitor with me as the target audience in mind, and considering that, I am quite happy that it also ended up being reasonably popular. Because this is the fanfiction for a romance series that doesn't feature one of the main couples but the friendship between two halves of different couples. (Yeah. Having fun writing something is nice. Validation is also nice)

And Es Wird Wieder ein Sommer is well...it's not the same, because it is an Alex/Niko fic, and I always meant it to be one, but it's also about Laura and her relationship with those two and that was lots of fun to think about and write.

No pressure tag for @cricrithings and @tatzelwyrm

#about aoife #on writing

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cbrosa-archived · 1 year

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𝚜𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 ~ 𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝙰𝚄

✨ the band aids ✨

─ billy as penny lane

“I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if ya never take it seriosuly, ya never get hurt, ya never get hurt, ya always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends.”

“It's all happening!”

“We are not Groupies. We are here because of the music, we inspire the music. We are Band Aids”

“Honey, you're too sweet for rock & roll.”

─ heather as sapphire

“Does anybody remember laughter?! Passes girls! Come and get 'em.”

“Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak!”

“They don't even know what it is to be a fan. Y'know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts.”

─ chrissy as polexia aphrodisia

“Act One, in which she pretends she doesn't care about him. Act Two, in which he pretends he doesn't care her, but he goes right for her. Act Three, in which it all plays out the way she planned it. She'll eat him alive.”

“Forgive me father, for I may sin tonight.”

“Greenville is so boring. You know, any other city in the world and you'd still be a virgin.”

─ carol as estrella starr

“This is Penny Lane, man. Show some respect!”

“She Changed everything. She was the one that said "No more sex. No more exploiting our bodies and hearts." Just blow-jobs, and that's it!”

“Simon Kirke from Bad Company is by the pool!”

─ argyle as beth from denver

“Don't worry William, I've seen the future and this all works out reasonably well.”

“I can't read your mind or anything. I mean, I pick up things here and there. Estrella says hi - She says I can stay in your room.”

“Your aura is really fantastic, it's this beautiful purple color!”

#mine #billy hargrove #heather holloway #chrissy cunningham #carol perkins #argyle #cheri's edits #cheri's st edits #next one is the band in the movie 🤭#almost famous

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dogtoling · 2 years

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(if you're down to elaborate, if not feel free to ignore this ask) what would you have changed abt the hero mode story? i'm not good at determining what makes something good or bad, so i didn't have much issue with it (it was all really cool and fun in the moment, but looking back, i'm a little iffy of some of it)

OH BOY! i've spent the last week in the five stages of grief or whatever over this story so thank you for asking this and welcome to the essay....

MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. obviously. going over the entire story here. you may now proceed:

So basically this was the worst story in the entirety of Splatoon, unironically. I genuinely Don't Know how they managed to make a story this unsatisfying and straight up just Bad. I actually quite liked the beginning of the story, where they put you through a miniature version of the usual "You vs. the Octarians in a canyon" -story and having Octavio as the first boss got me VERY hopeful and excited for the rest of the story. It was REALLY PROMISING!

Too bad that the rest of it was absolute crap. LOL like actually... you fall into Alterna and I think it was implied that Deep Cut did that? i'm not sure about that because it was so early but I remember them being there. (their motivation: none. of course).

(also, how come nobody knows Alterna is there? like the crater is a pretty obvious historical (?) site and no one just... happened to look under it.)

Into the characters... or lack thereof. Somehow, they managed to shove a record amount of characters into this story mode and they literally did NOTHING. Genuinely, i think this story would've made more of an impression without the Squidbeak Splatoon. They just kinda sat there the whole time and the Captain was the only character that did something, which is ironic considering they don't speak.

Deep Cut..... they were there because...? I guess they're the idols and they have to be shoved into the story for marketing purposes (which is what they did with Off the Hook in Octo Expansion and I already hated that but at least they ended up having A ROLE IN THE STORY AND WE LEARNT SOMETHING ABOUT THEM). Deep Cut literally showed up to be "evil" for some reason, took up three boss fights that could've genuinely been something really cool if they were related to the setting instead (and why do the shark and eels have ink in the first place), and then showed up one time towards the end to show the shallowest character motivation of all time and just go "actually being evil is dumb please be my boss". WHY WERE YOU EVIL IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHY ARE YOU HERE!?!?!?!?!?!? good lord i've never been so disappointed by a plot thread I already knew wasn't going to be good. omfg.

Now Alterna is the main point of the single player and I will say right now that it is also by far the best part; it's a really cool, desolate setting. The lore (the logs and sunken scrolls) that we unlock through gameplay was done in such a way that I was just hooked for like 12 hours straight just wanting to do the next kettle to uncover more about what actually happened to the last humans. They FINALLY addressed how sea creatures evolved so drastically in just 12,000 years - humans basically used squid juice to recreate... wireless chromatophores and built a roof out of them. The whole Human Vibes In The Crystals thing makes less sense but it's sci-fi so it can stay; I love that there was an explanation and even though I freaking can't stand the story itself, the backstory here was probably the BEST thing we've ever gotten out of Splatoon and it was pretty dreadful to discover...

Obviously Alterna has its whole fucking slew of plotholes as does everything else in this story. Like for example, why is it in such pristine condition considering it's not only been abandoned for twelve thousand years, but y'know... the part of the story that says IT WAS DESTROYED AND COLLAPSED because of the rocket boosters during testing. The roof sure looks pretty damn present for something that collapsed and was destroyed - especially when another fucking rocket was fired up and LITERALLY LAUNCHED this time and this time the ceiling is fine, I guess. The place should literally be in ruins and full of debris but alas, someone's in there growing tomatoes....

Okay so moving on from the world and into the Octarians. I can't think of a single reason the Octarians should be involved in this story whatsoever and neither could the story writers. The beginning of the story was good, when DJ Octavio sought out Cuttlefish because he thought he was the reason the Octarian troops had gone missing. This was genuinely the best part of the story and I was hoping the rest of the story would have more solid moments like that. We now know that the Octarian army was stolen by Mr. Grizz.... for.... some reason.... some unexplained reason that boils down to "it's easier to reuse enemy assets and code from the old game than come up with new stuff". And I don't really have a problem with that, but I do have a problem with the fact that WHY ARE THE OCTARIANS HERE AT ALL. HOW ARE THEY HERE? Like are they here of their own will and just got dipped in fur goo and were like "ok, sure". It would at least make more sense if Octavio also got dipped in fur goo because they'd still be following their leader, but WHAT ON EARTH happened here. The best I can assume is that Mr. Grizz needed something to test his ooze on, but nothing past that makes sense. Why is he using them to run tests with the O.R.C.A system? Why are the HUMAN ERA TESTS ink-based to begin with? And if they're not human era... why does he need the tests AT ALL?

(really, the best thing I can come up with is that some Octarians already lived in Alterna given it's underground and Mr. Grizz just invaded the area. But that's not confirmed, nor is it implied that DJ Octavio even knew Alterna exists.)

I guess we can't escape the inevitable: Mr. Grizz. So Mr. Grizz is literally a space bear, the thing everyone pieced together back in like 2018 just based on Ark Polaris and hoped wouldn't be true because it's the most obvious and plot holey thing they could come up with. The story of him being on Ark Polaris, hibernating for 12,000 years (i have to assume he would be immortal like Judd, i guess, or cryogenically frozen or something, because bears don't really live that long) and being the only one surviving in the crash of the Ark is actually quite nice. Everything past that falls apart because this bear - yes - this BEAR - developed sapience during this 12,000 year slumber, woke up, and immediately started speaking and using computers and for some reason this --- BEAR. A SOLITARY APEX PREDATOR THAT LIVES IN THE WOODS. STARTED A COMPANY IN INKOPOLIS.

Splatoon is very quickly approaching the typical cartoony Secret Life of Pets universe where every animal is actually secretly sapient and just doesn't want to speak when there's humans around and I want to believe Judd and Mr. Grizz are exceptions here because they're science experiments, but jesus christ

Anyway, going past the disbelief of a BEAR somehow starting a company and knowing Inkling language (i'll be assuming he is using some kind of thoughts-to-speech thing to be able to do literally any of this; even Judd doesn't ACTUALLY speak) his motivation for starting a company and creating Fuzzy Ooze is because he wanted to recreate mammals, as Earth is now overrun by sea creatures and he was... lonely, or whatever. So his solution was to combine the rapid evolution crystal juice, Golden Eggs (which for some reason are part of the recipe) and his fur to create artificial mammals which, yeah, in what world would this actually solve the problem at all. You could say well, he's a bear, and maybe he's delirious because of all the crap he's gone through which is fair. But he's also the CEO of a huge company that seems like it's been around for a while and that requires Brain and Knowledge of Many Things. Mr. Grizz having such a bizarre and pointless plan with a really weak motivation makes no sense whatsoever given his status.

now to the final boss and climax of the story. We already know Deep Cut flops as characters right before we get to the ending sequence and the only reason they're there is to debut some banger music. Anyway, they "kill" Cuttlefish for basically no other reason than shock value: Grizz says he needs his brain for... something, that is NEVER explained, and Cuttlefish LIVES THROUGH IT despite now seemingly having no organs. Mr. Grizz then operates his fucking rocket into space (without the rocket boosters damaging Alterna at all now, for some reason) and your player... honestly I was too disappointed by everything happening to even pay attention to this... super jumps into space after him? Then your Smallfry friend uses Vibes and Magic or something to turn into a massive salmonid kaiju and DJ Octavio is there for some reason.

Just the final boss sequence immediately suffers from not only the issue of having SEVERAL oxygen-breathing land creatures just kinda exist IN SPACE without protective gear, for one, but the game just randomly establishing THAT MAGIC EXISTS I GUESS, and the final boss being revealed 2 minutes before you kick his shit in and only being elaborated on in postgame. The ending is cool cinematics-wise and everything else is absurdly bad. The battle itself was fun, but I was too absorbed trying to process what the hell I was looking at. Most people seem to be upset about Bear Grizz and I am too, but honestly I am MORE upset about Smallfry's Magical Girl transformation moment because... well it's in the text. IT WAS A MAGICAL TRANSFORMATION in a game that generally sets itself up to be in a relatively realistic world setting akin to our own, save for some sci-fi elements.

Now that we're like an hour into the essay I can finally go into WHY exactly the STORY was bad in my opinion even ignoring all of the horrible plot holes and things that just made no sense. There was zero cohesion between like any parties that were part of the story. The story is set in Alterna, the last shelter for humans and the place where humanity finally perished and seafolk first flourished. That is a REALLY cool premise. Then we get to Mr. Grizz, who has very little to actually do with Alterna... there's no real reason he should be here or how he even KNEW to come here, as the ship he was launched on was COMPLETELY SEPARATE FROM THIS PROJECT. He has nothing to do with this place and was just shoved here as a final boss just because. Your player character just happens to be friends with a Smallfry who ends up being the only character in the game that is actually capable of stopping Mr. Grizz, so what if literally anyone else came through that sewer and became Agent 3. The Octarians are serving under Mr. Grizz and are here for literally no reason, unexplained. The New Squidbeak Splatoon is also here for no reason, but they at least have the crutch of Cuttlefish having been here first, and they're looking for him. Deep Cut is LITERALLY HERE FOR NO REASON AT ALL. NOTHING in the story has anything to do with Alterna itself - it all feels like the story writers had an idea with Alterna, then were given a bunch of crap that NEEDS to be tacked in there, and they all got haphazardly slapped together despite nothing really fitting.

Let's get to my biggest gripe: the missed potential throughout it all. I already said I love the setting of Alterna and there's so much more you could do with something that interesting than shoving a very weak, completely unrelated plot in there. Even within the game, there was basically nothing pointing towards Mr. Grizz having any inclusion in the story other than the obvious Bear Slime - in fact, Alterna REPEATEDLY kept referencing whales and cetaceans - marine mammals which are thought to be extinct in Splatoon but with an asterisk. (no, marina's narwhal landlord doesn't count, that one is a localization moment.)

We see a whale fall in Octo Expansion and this was acknowledged - with something along the lines of whales are thought to be extinct, but really nobody has seen one in a LONG TIME. It leaves room for speculation and the knowledge that marine mammals are gone... or ARE THEY? Alterna was building up to some sort of really cool reveal where - maybe - MAYBE marine mammals DO still exist somewhere, somehow. But alas, all the buildup to whales ended up being literally nothing as far as Alterna goes - even though having iconic marine mammals be part of a story in a sea creature game about the return of mammals would've been thematically fitting as-is. But they really wanted to do CEO Bear, I GUESS.

FINALLY, now, how would I change the story? Personally, I would take it outside Alterna as a whole... if we're going to include the fuzzy ooze it does both plots a disservice to have it in such a cool place with so much room for a WAY cooler, better plot that fits the setting. But for the fuzzy ooze, I would much rather have had a plot where someone - NOT LITERALLY A BEAR - was trying to recreate bears from scratch. I would've liked for that to have been Mr. Grizz and for him to be an Inkling, or at least not a freaking bear - it would make endlessly more sense for him to own ink weapons, too. In the current Splatoon story, trying to artificially recreate mammals and especially bears would make perfect sense; Salmonids are a growing threat and in the upcoming months we'll get Big Runs, where Salmonids LITERALLY INVADE INKOPOLIS. It would've made perfect plot sense to have someone who already knows of Bears as a powerful and ancient enemy of salmon to try and recreate them to combat the threat of Salmonids coming to the city, and it would've made Grizz a much more interesting and morally grey villain, because some of his intentions would've been in protecting Inkopolis in a VERY questionable way. Maybe we could've even had the bear creature as the final boss as a test result that got too powerful and went rogue, or even Mr. Grizz morphing himself into it using the ooze.

Anyway, if you read this far, that's crazy. i am interested in what other people thought about the story and if people share my opinions on it. Thanks for reading this actual novel of a post.

#mailbox #long post #like actually... it's pretty long.#thanks for the ask!

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purplekoop · 5 months

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also after I saw the turtles movie I saw that youtube had the original Jimmy Neutron movie (and some other Nick movies) for free with ads so I watched that afterwards.

So uh. Gonna make this one a little shorter.

Koop Talks About... (#3) Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius I don't know if this deserved an Oscar nomination but it's funny that it did so it's fine

Very fun, and also very reasonable to deem better than the subsequent show even though I love that jank bundle of insanity that is a children's cartoon. It's a solid story about a solid concept of a character that takes itself a little more seriously than the show itself, while still keeping that cartoonishness with even a bit more "whimsy" to its tone.

I remember thinking the amusement rides turned into spaceships were THE coolest thing as a kid, and even then I think the creativity behind some of them has that really fun sense of childlike wonder that I don't think the show itself quite captures.

Plus also it's just funny, I forgot how many of the show's most iconic lines and bits came from this movie specifically. Personal favorite bit of the whole franchise is the part where Carl shows Jimmy a drawing of a frog and he responds with full sincerity "that looks great, Carl". Comedy doesn't get better than that.

Also I forgot how many pop songs were in this movie, I remember classics like "Hey Jimmy Jimmy", the Bowling for Soup version of the main theme (yes really), and "Kids of America" (y'know like the digimon movie song. not All Star, the other one.), but I forgot how there were like, 5 more. This was more than likely the first place I heard Blitzkrieg Bop and I didn't even remember it. They're not distracting for me personally, honestly they work for this silly movie and make it feel more "grand" than the show itself.

Frankly, the most interesting part about the movie is more just its weird role in the series as a whole. The movie came before the show, expressly because they could use the theatrical budget to make higher-quality character models to use in the show itself, rather than make TV budget models for the show and then make better models for a movie later. The weird part is that... for some reason the assets they reuse in the show are worse than the stuff specific to the movie? Like, the best-looking stuff is all the alien stuff. The Yolkians themselves are especially well-animated and detailed, which is weird because aside from one TV special they weren't in the show itself. The basic human character models look... not BAD, but not exactly impressive compared to who was also nominated for that first ever best animated feature Oscar. It overall looks notably better than in the show itself, likely just due to having more time and budget for quality assurance, extra details, and rendering. If you want more info on the interesting history of Jimmy Neutron's development, going well before this movie's 2001 release, I highly recommend this video by Slow Start. 21 minute watch, won't regret it if you're even just mildly fond of the show. They also have more videos on an array of early 2000's nostalgic topics, which hey that rubs my fancy, so if you're like me then check them out!

youtube

Especially compared to the last post I feel I should reiterate that this isn't like, a super fantastic movie I recommend to everyone, but if you have nostalgia for it or otherwise just have 80 minutes to kill on a decent 2000's early CGI kid's movie, then I definitely say to go for it. Or if you have control over what a kid watches and you want to give a cultured viewing experience, here's a suggestion that's not hard to get access to right now.

I maaaayyyy talk more about the show itself, but to be honest there's not much to say compared to other shows I'd want to give time to rewatching and talking about. I saw the whole show a few years back when it was on Hulu, and it was a good time, but I just don't know how much is worth mentioning. There's some highlights, and while it's still probably in my top 3 Nick shows, it's not super deep. Even then, I still think it's aged better than the other early 2000s nostalgic Nick show starring a kid with an "-immy" name who has control over forces no mortal should hold power over. yikes that show is rough even before the part where it's generally considered outright bad.

Anyways uhhhhh

youtube

Goodnight Retroville.

#koop talks about things #jimmy neutron #jimmy neutron: boy genius #Youtube

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wahbegan · 10 months

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You know, Alien Isolation is genuinely a really great game and idk if i'd call it the SCARIEST game ever, but it's definitely one of the most fucking stressful and i love it and i say all that to offset all the pissing and moaning i'm about to do

So i forget sometimes why i replay it so infrequently and i feel bad and then i come back to it and then i remember: it's just such a fucking time sink. Even more then some of the sandbox games i've played. It may not be as long, but it feels longer. And it doesn't have so much to do with the actual length of the game, although it is a lil too long, but moreso the pace of it combined with the length and the FUCKING save points.

Alien Isolation is an excruciatingly slow game. Even when it gets going, any time the Alien shows up, the gameplay consists mainly of crouch-walking around veeeeeeeeeeeeeery slowly and hiding in every other cupboard waiting for spooky to fuck off for 30 seconds so you can make some actual progress.

Which is fine! It's very tense and it works very well. But when the levels are super long and nothing but that it gets exhausting and ALSO, MORE PRESSINGLY, HOLY SHIT WHOEVER WORKED OUT THE SAVE POINTS APPARENTLY DID NOT GET THE FUCKING MEMO ABOUT THE PACE OF THE GAME.

Because like on paper, the save points are spaced a pretty reasonable distance apart, but they don't take into account the aforementioned cupboard hiding and crawling around. So combine this with the looting you gotta do and the lil computer terminals with worldbuilding on them and fact that, especially early in the game, if the Alien spots you there's basically nothing you can do except kiss your sorry ass goodbye, and it means you can lose about 20 minutes of progress like THAT.

Which y'know, when the game's as hard as it is, means that you will probably die multiple times in the same area and after the second or third time my will to play the game just vanishes for a couple days because jesus christ i spent over an hour on this section of the level and accomplished nothing. I hate to say it about beloved hallmark of games Alien Isolation but it's kinda bad design, i think it's the kinda game that's just desperately crying out for an option to save whenever you want

#hey did y'all know tumblr will get passive aggressive with you now if you try to make a post without tags

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iwillgiveyoumyhappiness · 2 years

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Sincerely, Your Fellow Choi

@yyxgin Happy birthday, my beloved! I know this is way too late to be justifiable, and I have no real excuse. Just life and oversights, but never once do I want you to think I forgot about celebrating your birthday <3 It was literally on the list of things I most wanted to do this year—celebrate an amazing friend like you. So I hope you enjoy!

April 16th, Saturday 11:55 PM

For the past couple of weeks, I've been getting an email every Sunday at 12AM exactly, like it's scheduled.

Taehyun kept telling me not to open them 'cause they could be viruses, but I'm dumb (as he likes to playfully remind me), so I didn't listen to him.

I opened one a few weeks ago, which led to opening all the ones I'd received up to that point. And now I'm sitting here, anxiously scrawling down whatever I can while waiting for the next one to show up. My leg is shaking like crazy.

They weren't spam like I originally thought. They're very well thought-out and written with love. Each email is an instruction manual of how to fall in love with (Y/F/N).

I wouldn't say we're friends, but we know each other from high school (which is something I've tried to leave far, far behind me), and we talk sometimes.

We have one or two overlapping classes, but we're not lunch buddies by any means necessary. She's nice enough. I remember her making chocolates for me once for a school-wide Secret Santa thing we did.

They were pretty good. Nothing to write home about, though.

But for some reason, someone out there who signs off all their emails with the phrase "sincerely, your fellow Choi", seems to want me to think that she's got a massive crush on me and we're a match made in heaven.

At first, I thought it was silly—maybe a prank from one of her friends or something. But y'know how you just get vibes sometimes? It just feels too absurd not to be true.

I'm not saying I've fallen for her just because of a few emails, but I am saying I've learned a lot about her through these email, and I can't really tell if that's creepy or not.

How is it that I've never once noticed her before reading these emails? She's been walking in and out of my life for well over 6 years, yet I've never given her a second thought.

She was always just there, doing her own thing. She had her friends, and I had mine—if you could really call them that. None of them cared enough to keep in touch with me after high school.

I don't know why this random Choi is trying to get me interested in this girl from a past that I'm trying to forget, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't working.

Oh! Hold up.

The new email just came. Gotta go—I'll try to write more tomorrow.

April 18th, Monday 10:31 PM

Okay, so obviously, I forgot to write more yesterday. My bad. But no one's ever gonna see this anyway, so it's okay.

This works out though, 'cause I did something kinda crazy today. I decided to join the art club, 'cause (Y/N)'s a part of it. Taehyun thinks I'm insane, and Kai kindly reminded me that I can barely draw a stick figure, but I think this will be good for me in the long-run.

I can get closer to her in my own time, and I can see what she's actually like—not just what the emails want me to believe.

And maybe I can finally face high school again in a new light. Maybe now that I'm an adult, I won't be so scared.

April 19th, Tuesday 6:22 PM

Art is way harder than expected. I thought I'd pick it up pretty fast, but nah. I was wrong. This looks like chicken scratch.

On the upside, I talked to (Y/N) today. She could tell I was struggling, so she scooched over and whispered some shading tips while the team leader went over the assignment. She even offered to give me some drawing lessons on the weekends.

She didn't ask why I joined an art club, even though I'm a terrible artist.

It was nice. She was nice.

And she wasn't like how I remembered. I remembered someone more rambunctious and self-assured, and I guess that's why she always intimidated me.

Not to say she's not self-assured now, just more quiet about it. I can't tell if she's grown up, or if she's changed.

I also can't figure out why I haven't done either of those things yet.

April 23th, Saturday 3:00 PM

I had my first drawing lesson with (Y/N) today. She's such a good artist—it's kind of scary.

The emails keep talking about this hidden crush she's got on me, but I don't know if I fully believe it. I don't think I make her nervous at all.

She just smiles and talks and hums while she sketches. I don't seem to have an affect on her. She's just nice to me, like she is to everyone else.

And for some reason, that upsets me. The emails have been so accurate about everything else—her favorite colors, her hobbies, her favorite song, her allergies—yet it feels like they got her feelings for me all wrong.

I don't know why I'm upset about this. I've already told myself I'm not catching feelings, just seeing for myself what all the fuss is about. But still... I'm a little disappointed.

I guess I just expected more.

May 24th, Tuesday 8:01 PM

Wow, I kinda forgot about this. It's been a while since my last entry, but don't worry—it's for a good reason. (Y/N) and I have actually been hanging out a lot these days, and it's been fun.

Most of the time, it's for club things or art lessons, but sometimes we walk to class together or grab some coffee. And remember how I said we weren't lunch buddies? Well, we are now.

And we get along pretty well! She's funny. And I'm starting to think the crush thing might be more accurate than I thought.

I don't have any solid proof, but sometimes I swear I can feel her staring at me when she thinks I'm not paying attention. And she's always respectful of my personal bubble, yet tries to sit as close to me as possible without touching.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, or maybe it's my man brain trying to convince me, "oh yeah, dude. She's for sure into you", but either way, I'm kinda hoping I'm right.

In these few weeks I've spent truly noticing her and having her in the forefront of my life instead of on the sidelines, I've realized that I wouldn't hate it if she had a crush on me.

In fact, I'd be honored. She's cool.

May 30th, Monday 7:45 AM

This is gonna be a short entry 'cause I'm already late for class, but I just had to jot this down real quick in case I forget.

I think I figured out who the 'fellow Choi' is. The emails reminded me that (Y/N)'s close to that jock guy, Choi Yeonjun. They've been friends and neighbors since they were little, and he went to the same high school as us, just a year ahead.

I vaguely remember him as one of the hooligans she used to skateboard around with, but the memory's fuzzy.

I've seen them hanging out before, but I didn't realize they were that tight. If there's anyone who would know that much about her, it'd be him. I'm gonna confront him tomorrow, so we'll see what happens.

May 31st, Tuesday 5:53 PM

Yeah, so that whole confronting thing? It didn't go so well. I now have confirmation that he's not the fellow Choi, but I also have a bloody nose, so I don't know if I've accomplished anything.

It was a real 'one step forward, two steps back' kind of situation. From what I've seen of him around campus, he seems like a very chill, friendly guy, and you can tell he cares for (Y/N) like a brother.

So you can imagine my surprise when I said 'hi' and his first reaction was to grab me by the collar, shove me against a brick wall, and sock me in the nose.

What I hate most was the eyes it attracted. I just know there's gonna be rumors about us fighting for (Y/N)'s hand or some crap.

All in all, something tells me he doesn't like me. He told me to stay away from (Y/N) if I didn't have the 'right intentions'.

His exact words were, "The Chois in her life have already given her enough shit, and if you add on to that, I swear to God, I'll break so much more than your nose."

It was definitely a change from the guy I'd seen ruffling (Y/N)'s hair and giving her noogies while complimenting her latest artwork and calling her a nerd.

I'm scared and angry, for sure, but also just confused. I feel like there's more to this story that I'm not getting or hasn't been revealed to me yet. I feel left behind.

And also, I wish he'd been more clear as he threatened me. What are my intentions supposed to be?

'Cause I think I'm falling for her. And if that's not Choi Yeonjun approved, how am I just supposed to just stop these feelings from growing?

Would it even be possible at this point?

June 2nd, Thursday 9:10 PM

I emailed back the fellow Choi the other day. I wanted to see if they knew what I did to hurt (Y/N) and Yeonjun in the past.

They never answered.

June 13th, Monday 11:11 AM

(Y/N) made Yeonjun apologize to me. Not gonna lie, it was a little gratifying to see that tough guy all humbled and grumbly while she glared up at him and demanded an apology.

All-in-all, even though it was forced, he seemed pretty genuine. He even asked how my nose was doing. I told him it wasn't broken, and I think (for the most part) there are no lingering hard feelings between us.

Except for the ones he's hiding from me—the ones that I assume have been there for a long time. And he must've said something to (Y/N), 'cause she's been weird too. Not mean or cold, just distant. Lost in her thoughts, even when we're together.

I wonder if he brought up some memories from the past that she'd forgotten or repressed. I kind of resent him for that a little, 'cause things were going well between us, and now I don't know what to do with my feelings.

They're getting too strong to keep inside, but would it be insensitive to confess now? I don't even know anymore. I'm so confused.

More than anything, I just wanna know what I did. I must've been either really self-absorbed or incredibly insecure in high school, because I'm coming to realize that I never really noticed anyone.

It was always just me in my little bubble, and even with my friends, I never let them get too close. As I'm writing this, I also kinda realize that I'm the only person stopping myself from making genuine connections with others.

And that pretty much decides it for me. I'm gonna confess to her this weekend—just you watch.

June 19th, Sunday 10:30 PM

Today might be one of my favorite days ever. I spent the whole day with (Y/N), and for the first time in a while, it didn't feel awkward.

I would kind of consider this our first date. We went out for breakfast, then we talked for hours and realized, "Oh, we should probably get lunch." And after lunch, we didn't wanna say goodbye, so we decided to go for a walk. "Work off the calories," she said.

By that time, we were hungry again, so she invited me to her dorm for an improvised snack dinner. It certainly wasn't gourmet, but it was tasty, and it was fun to make it together.

She looked so pretty. She didn't even do anything special—she just looked nice. So I told her. Then one thing led to another, and I was rambling and going on and on, and then I finally got it out.

Those three words I'd been trying to spit out all day. "I like you."

And guess what? She likes me too. She actually, genuinely likes me. And before I left, you know that she did? She gave me a kiss on the hand.

Not on the cheek, not on the lips, but on my hand. I've never gotten butterflies like that before. It's so weird to think that now... I have a girlfriend. It's wild.

It was really cool seeing her place, too. I remembered her skateboarding back in high school (hard to forget with the emails proudly remind me every five seconds), but she actually has medals and stuff from competitions she entered in with her old team.

Yeonjun was on that team too, apparently. She had a framed picture of them proudly showing off their second place trophy with their arms slung over each other's shoulders.

Cute picture. A little small for the frame, though. Maybe I should get her a new one.

July 10th, Sunday 12:15 AM

I think I just got the last email. It felt ominous, like a permanent goodbye. "I can't have her back anymore, so I'm leaving it up to you. If you haven't fallen for her at this point, please at least just be her friend. I'm sure Yeonjun's all she's got. Be good to her."

And as always, signed off with that 'sincerely, your fellow Choi'. I'm not sure why, but when I read it this time, I got goosebumps all over my body.

It was like I'd been talking to a ghost. They were there, and then they were gone—like a cool breeze or a puff of smoke.

It feels empty.

September 3rd, Saturday 9:45 PM

(Y/N) got mad at me for the first time today. We were doing some studying at her place, and I was admiring the pictures and medals on her wall while she was in the bathroom.

But I'm a klutz, so of course, I ended up knocking something over. It was that framed picture of her and Yeonjun. The glass shattered and the back fell out, and I swear I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

All I could think was 'shit, shit, I just broke the important thing', and like a little kid, my first thought was to get rid of the evidence.

Now, realistically, there was nothing I could do about the glass in such a short time, but I thought if I could just pop the panel back on and make sure the framing wasn't damaged...

But that's when I noticed the picture, slightly peeking out from the broken frame. It was too small because it had been folded.

I wasn't trying to pry. I wasn't trying to look at it.

But it was there, unfolded right in front of me. And I could see that in the previously folded up corner, (Y/N) had her arm wrapped another guy. A guy with longish black hair, his nose scrunched up by a big, toothy grin, and a skateboard pinned under his arm.

The three of them looked so happy together. A perfect little trio. And when I looked at the guy, I couldn't help but feel a sense of familiarity.

When (Y/N) finally came out, she blew up at me. I couldn't tell if it was because of the fact that I broke her frame, or because I saw the other half of that picture.

Now, (Y/N)'s not a petty person, so if I had to guess... I'd say it was the latter. I wanna know who he is. I wanna know why he feels so familiar. And I wanna know why he hurts her so much.

So much so that she would fold him out of a picture, but not find it within herself too throw it away.

But I'm dumb, so I didn't say any of those things. We just argued. I stormed out.

I regret it.

September 7th, Wednesday 4:32 PM

We've made up. That's what we say, anyway. But it's awkward, with just a hint of tension.

I've tried talking it out with her, asking about that guy, but she says she doesn't want to talk about it.

I'm not experienced enough for this. I don't know what's right. I don't know when to push and when to let it lie.

I'm scared to mess this up.

Soobin laid dead asleep in his room, disturbed by an incessant tap-tap-tap.

With a groan, he rolled over in bed, flipping on his bedside lamp and instinctively checking the time on his phone. Two in the morning. He groaned again as the tapping only became more insistent.

In his bleary daze, he managed to glance at the window, doing a double-take as he saw a shadowy figure outside of it. His eyes widened, pulling the sheets up and over his nose as slowly as possible. The tapping stopped, and he could’ve sworn he saw the figure sigh.

Moments later, his phone buzzed with a notification.

“It’s me, coward,” the notification read.

With a start, he jumped up, swinging his window open with expert speed, successfully shocking the person on the other side of the glass. “(Y/N)!” he gasped, grabbing her wrists and pulling her back towards him as she lost her balance.

He reared backward, pulling her into the room and landing them both on the bed with a thump, Soobin splayed flat on his back and (Y/N) nestled somewhat comfortably into his shoulder. “What were you doing on the roof, you idiot?” he asked, hands instinctively going to rub up and down her back.

“I didn’t wanna wake your roommates...” she said sheepishly. “They probably heard me scream, though.”

Soobin shook his head, biting back the chuckle that rose in his throat. “Nah, don’t worry too much,” he said. “They sleep like rocks.” He took a moment to bask in the silence between them. This was the most carefree they’d been together in a while. “So what brings you here this cold evening?”

She propped herself up a little, examining his face with a hint of something in her eyes. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but maybe guilt? She cupped his cheek.

“Have I ever told you why I like you?” she asked softly. Soobin only shook his head. “It’s ‘cause you care so much more than you think you do. You’re so humble, and you always underestimate yourself, but you’re the coolest, most kindest guy out there.” He felt butterflies whirl up in his stomach like the first time she kissed his hand. “I just needed to tell you that.”

Soobin could feel himself tearing up, but he willed himself to suck it in. “Well... Thank you,” he said. He wanted to say anything else. He wanted to list all the reasons he liked her and how he’d started finding peace and self-acceptance through her, but no words came out—like a blubbering fish out of water.

“Can I introduce you to someone?” (Y/N) asked, seemingly to instinctively know that he wouldn’t be able to get anything out.

Soobin blinked in confusion. “What, like... right now?” he asked.

She nodded. “If we don’t do this now, I’m worried I’ll get too scared again.”

Now, he could give a million viable excuses on why he couldn’t go. He’s tired, he has early morning classes, it’s nearly freezing—but none of that mattered. He wanted to do whatever she wanted to do.

It’d easily been an hour, and they were only getting further from the familiar territory of their campus grounds. Soobin could feel himself dozing off again, but he urged himself not to. Even if he felt like shit in the morning, he was gonna stay awake for this.

“Where are we goin’?” he asked from the passenger seat of (Y/N)’s dumpy old car that stubbornly refused not to die, like a spiteful great-aunt.

“We’re almost there,” she said cryptically, gripping the steering wheel ever so slightly tighter. “Just give it a sec. It’s on the left.”

Soobin blinked hard and mussed up his hair, trying to make himself more presentable. He was still in his pajamas, so the least he could do would be to look awake. He glance at all the signs as they passed by buildings, each one of them not likely to be their stop.

When she finally slowed down and flicked on her blinker, Soobin’s heart dropped, the words ‘columbarium’ staring him in the face like the barrel of a gun. “(Y/N)—” he started.

She shook her head. “Don’t say anything yet,” she instructed gently. “Just wait till we get inside.” She took a pause while she put the car in park. “And hold my hand. I haven’t been here in a while.”

With her hand tightly grasped in his and the car locked behind them, they made their way into the building. Already, it was a sad, humbling atmosphere—seeing all the urns, photos, bouquets, and letters from family pinned up on the wall. There was so much love and sorrow, all contained in one place.

Finally, (Y/N) stopped in front of one specific niche. ”Meet Beomgyu,” she said, a slight tremor in her voice. “One of my best friends, and your fellow Choi.” In the picture frame behind the cage of glass stood a very familiar boy with longish black hair, a toothy grin, and a crinkled nose.

Soobin looked at her with wide eyes. “How did you—?”

“You left your diary at my place,” she said. “I’m sorry I was nosy, but I couldn’t help but read it. And by doing that, I realized how much I’ve been making you suffer on your own, and I’m so sorry.” She gripped his hand tighter, making eye contact with him. “Will you forgive me?”

His heart ached. “There’s nothing to forgive, honestly...” he said, voice barely above a whisper. It felt rude to speak any louder in a place full of the deceased.

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, y’know,” she said. “It’s not a fair relationship if we’re always walking on eggshells around each other. So I’ll share some of my scars with you tonight, and you can share yours when you’re ready. I might not get all your questions answered, but I'll start.”

He felt his chest tighten. He couldn’t help but feel grateful to Choi Beomgyu for leading him to such a great girl.

He nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I promise I'll do the same for you later.” He looked back at Beomgyu’s picture. The longer he looked at it, the more bits and pieces of memories from high school came flooding back in.

(Y/N), Yeonjun, and Beomgyu. The kids who always rode into school on their skateboards, zooming past everyone on the way through the front gates while laughing and shouting jokes at each other. Soobin was pretty separate from their friend group, but out of all of them, he was most familiar with Beomgyu.

He was the class clown. Everyone loved him, and he loved making everyone laugh—even at his own expense. Yeonjun was always the one to back him up with a smile on his face, even when he called him a dumbass. And (Y/N) was always the one following quietly behind them, cleaning up thier messes.

But she never seemed to mind. She didn’t even care that as they walked down the halls, people would call out “Hey, Beomgyu!” or “Hey, Yeonjun!”, but no one ever called out for her.

“Tell me about him,” Soobin said.

She took a deep breath. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“How’d you become friends?”

She cracked a little smile, though he could still see the pain lacing it from the scabbed over wound on her heart that had yet to fully heal. “Yeonjun and Beomgyu were nextdoor neighbors, I lived across the street,” she said. “Their mom’s were best friends, and I moved to the neighborhood with my folks later on. Y’know how moms always want you be comfortable and have friends you can count on?”

Soobin chuckled. “For sure,” he said. “Even if I got a terrible report card, my mom’s first instinct was still to scold me on how I didn’t put in enough effort to make friends.”

“My mom was the same,” she said. “So about a week after we moved in, she said, ‘C’mon! Let’s go say hi to the neighbors’ sons!’ I was shy and I didn’t wanna go, but God, am I glad I did. They were both at Beomgyu's place, and as soon as I got through the front door, they dragged me upstairs to play Mario Kart and then outside to shoot each other with nerf guns.”

Her smile grew, more genuine this time. “I didn’t have time to be nervous, not with their hyper-active asses. From that point on, we basically grew up together. They were like my big brothers. Whatever they did, I wanted to do it too. That’s why I started skating, y’know.”

“Now, Beomgyu... I don’t even know how to describe him. He was like a whirlwind, y’know? He was crazy, confident, a little overzealous at times, but sweet. He always remembered the little things about you, and even though his loudness could be a little annoying at first, once he went quiet with you, you felt like something was missing."

She sighed through her nose. "I miss his voice," she said rawly, as if she hadn't allowed herself to admit that for the past couple of years.

“The three of us went through life, did everything together, talked about how we were gonna get matching tattoos once we graduated, and then one day, we were all skating—practicing for a competition, actually—and Beomgyu fell.” Her voice grew quieter at the end.

“Beomgyu never fell. He said he felt dizzy and his head hurt. We thought he must’ve hit it on the way down, so we rushed him off the the hospital—a bunch of scared teenagers. And that’s where they discovered it. A weird hybrid type of acute myeloid leukemia.”

Soobin squeezed her hand tighter. She appreciated it. “Most people live at least 5 years after being diagnosed, but Beomgyu didn’t have that time. It was too late and too developed. He had a little under a year.”

Soobin’s heart ached. No wonder it was painful memory. She lost her best friend when she was just a kid. “That must’ve been awful for you,” he whispered, stepping a little closer to her, just to let her feel his warmth.

“It was,” she agreed softly. “What’s worse though is that I spent those last 6 months lying straight to his face.”

Soobin gave her a questioning look.

“Yeonjun cornered me one day. Told me that Beomgyu had been in love with me for a few years, but I never even noticed,” she said. In Soobin’s head, that made sense. And it explained the affection behind the emails’ tone. “And he never confessed ‘cause he didn’t wanna mess up our friendship, and then he thought he’d lost his shot, ‘cause I started crushing on you.”

“But Yeonjun looked me straight in the eyes as we stood by a vending machine in the hospital at almost 11:30 one night and said, ‘Beomgyu’s gonna confess to you tonight. Please accept him’.”

She let out a dry laugh at the memory. “I didn’t know what to say. It’s not that I was disgusted by the thought of being with him or that I was particularly hung up on you—I just thought you were cute at that point—but I just didn’t feel... anything. No sparks. And that’s not how love’s supposed to be.”

“So I though I’d turn him down gently,” she continued. “Knowing Beomgyu, I thought he’d be happy to just get it off his chest, and then we could spend his last few months as we always had. The unbeatable trio.”

She leaned her head on Soobin’s shoulder, feeling drained and tired. “But when I got into his room, he’d prepared flowers, and balloons, and a handwritten letter, and a big romantic speech, and I just...

She nuzzled closer into his shoulder. "I didn’t have the heart. He’d never had a girlfriend before, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was all my fault. Maybe he was waiting for me and I just never got to that point. So I accepted him. I’ve never seen him look so relieved. He almost cried.”

“So I went six months... Pretending to be in love with him. But I think he knew. I think he knew my heart wasn’t in it, and that’s what made it even worse. He would apologize all the time with that sad smile on his face, and it just made me feel even worse.”

“So I tried harder to be a good girlfriend, made myself feel even worse, argued with Yeonjun all the time ‘cause I felt like he was only thinking about Beomgyu, and overall, I just screwed everything up. He had less than a year left with us and I wasted it lying to him. I didn’t even do it well. It all felt pointless.”

“Especially when I knew for sure he knew. He told me he was gonna repay me someday for helping him live out his short dream, even though it was hard for me. I guess he held up his end.”

She looked up, meeting eyes with Soobin, his dark orbs damp with sympathy. “He gave me you, the crazy bastard. Guess he knew five years would probably be enough for me not to totally hate myself anymore,” she chuckled. “That way, I could love properly again.”

She looked back at the niche, staring intently at Beomgyu’s portrait, as well as the smaller pictures laid out around it. Pretty much all of them had herself and Yeonjun inside of them, right next to Beomgyu and his dopey grin.

“He never let me kiss him,” she said. “I tried, but he never let me. He always joked and said ‘cooties’, but I know it’s ‘cause he didn’t want me to waste my first kiss on a lie. He was good like that.”

Without him realizing it, Soobin had started crying. Not a harsh sob or a broken whimper, just thick tears pouring out of his stinging, red eyes. He couldn’t tell if he was saddened by the story or thankful for the gesture.

Wordlessly, he faced the niche, giving a deep bow. “Thank you,” he whispered, “for giving me your best friend. I can tell how much you love her.”

In that moment, the air changed. It felt warmer.

Maybe somewhere out there, in a different timeline or dimension, Beomgyu was flashing his dopey smile, happy that another one of his hair-brained schemes worked out.

#kpop #kpop fluff #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #kpop drabbles #kpopidol #txt #tomorrow x together #soobin #choi soobin #beomgyu #choi beomgyu

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 2 years

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Which do u think has been ur most iconic anon ask akakqjqk

my most iconic anon ask...? Damn, I dunno sksks

Y'know how many anon asks I've answered since starting this blog? with all the themed nights I had? When you go to my blog and go to the #asks tag, there's over 200 pages soooo I honestly don't know if I can give you *the* definitive iconic anon ask.

Also, what do you mean when you say iconic? Are we talkin' the most memorable? and is it in a positive or negative light? because not gonna lie, anon, the anons that I remember the most are negative. Isn't that how it always goes? You could get 10 asks, 9 positive experiences and 1 negative and it's that one negative that's gonna stick with ya. Awesome, right?

I do think I have an experience with a certain set of anons from the same person that I suppose you could say is "iconic" or memorable in a shitty way? In fact, they're a set of anons that I never even publicly answered.

I believe I shared some of the story once before when I was promoting The Writer's Guild? But not the whole story, just the part that explained why people had to directly message me if they wanted to join.

I dunno, maybe it'll be good to fully share this, get it off my chest and all that. It's probably the most bizarre thing to happen to me in this fandom, and not a good bizarre.

Y'know how I used to do T5F on this blog? They were a lot of fun, I loved making them! But, the very first one I ever did about the top 5 dumbest things about TFS not only got me yelled at by an anon, but they kinda sorta spied on me in an old discord chat. It's a wild story, most of the chat was present for it and it was an overall uncomfortable and unbelievable night.

I wish I had taken screenshots but it didn't occur to me at the time, and I'm not apart of that chat anymore for this reason, but you can even ask @pi-creates or anyone else who was present.

So, the reason this anon was upset with me and this T5F I posted was a joke I made about Violet.... because of course this all happened because of Violet sksksk. I don't exactly have a happy history when it comes to interacting with hardcore Violet stans, they don't really care for my takes on her character or her relationships.

The 4th entry on that post was about Abel's shotgun and how it doesn't make sense that Louis was the only one hit by it. I said the following:

"Soooo…. I guess the buckshot swerves around and above Violet to ONLY hit Louis? Like, I know she ducks a bit but I still feel like something should’ve nicked her as well?? At least?? Like, are lesbians immune to shotguns and that’s why nothing hit Violet?? Am I only learning this now??"

I made this joke as a way to show how absurd the whole thing with Abel's gun was, I was being hyperbolic, didn't think twice about it, right? I post the T5F, it's well received, I'm already planning for the next week's T5F.... but then I got the first anon. It was mostly in all caps yelling at me for being lesbophic, hating Violet, telling me to shut the fuck up and get out, etc.

Here's the deal, if this person was genuinely upset with my bad throwaway joke about Violet, then that's fair. If they had sent me an ask that was like "Hey, that joke you made about Violet made me uncomfortable, you shouldn't make jokes about lesbians like that, especially if you're not a lesbian." then I would've responded with an apology and a promise to do better. Because yeah, I am truly sorry if that did rub some the wrong way, and I've tried to watch myself, make sure I'm not making jokes like that after this whole thing happened, getting second opinions, doing what I can to not make anyone else feel uncomfortable.

That person didn't do that, they were aggressive and I've learned that aggressive anons are not worth responding to, so I didn't. But back in that old discord server, I used to share those anons with the group and we would talk about them. This person sent me another ask that was super passive aggressive, I remember it going something like, "hey bestie when are you going to respond to my ask calling you out for being lesbophic?" which I shared with the group to get their take on the joke and this anon.

As we discussed this, more anons kept coming in from the same person, all about the same thing, written the same way, all aggressive.

It stopped being all fun and games when the asks started responding to the things I was saying in the chat. We figured out that either this person was in our chat, or someone in chat was sending them everything I was saying.

What's funny is we all had a clear guess on who it was- someone joined the server under the most generic name of like "Anna Smith," they had clouis fanart as their picture, and they were never online... until that night. That night was the first time they have ever shown up as online, they were online the entire time we were talking about this, and when Pi messaged them, they responded but then went offline and the asks stopped coming in.

Like... cut and dry, right? They got caught. It was clearly this random person who was never online, who never interacted with us, who randomly joined and was in the server for I dunno... weeks?

Maybe it was them. I don't actually know and I never will, and it made me so paranoid to be in the group that I eventually left.

But the part that gets me the most? This anon made me feel like I had to explain myself to the chat about my sexuality, something I never shared here on tumblr or with the group for personal reasons.

The ask that kickstarted the realization that this anon was spying on our chat simply asked "are you wlw?"

which again, I didn't publicly answer, but brought to chat because I was pretty sure this person was expecting/hoping for me to say I'm straight so they could have their "GOTCHA" moment, y'know? or they got ahead of themselves and had an "oh shit, what if she's not straight?" moment after calling me lesbophobic, a bitch, whatever other insults they called me that I can't remember.

After I shared that, I felt like I had to justify my sexuality? in a way? I don't know how to describe it, it felt a little bit like I was in a corner with ample room to get out but I had to decide which direction to go but once I went, there was no going back. I was worried that my friends would end up thinking that I was just some straight person making jokes about lesbians, that I didn't respect queer women because I wasn't giving the anon what they wanted... So I told the truth that yeah, I am wlw, I'm bisexual.

Then I got an ask that was something like "and being bi isn't the same as being lesbian, you can't talk about lesbians" so on, they said something about how no one jokes about Clementine's bisexuality [which isn't true, people joke about Clementine being bi all the time and if I had made the same exact joke about Clem instead of Violet, then I bet that anon wouldn't have said anything to me] so don't make them about Violet, same stuff they've said before... which set off alarm bells because it was almost like they saw exactly what I typed in chat.

It's just not something I put on display, y'know? My bisexuality is mine, it's personal, and that was definitely not the way I wanted to tell my friends in chat but it's how it went, it's how people found out, and now here we are.

I'm pretty sure all of us were weirded out, uncomfortable, it was.... an experience, lemme tell you.

....so does this count as iconic? sksksks

I know this probably wasn't the answer you were looking for but hey, if I have to give my most memorable anon[s], then that one takes it.

#asks #y'know what I'm not even gonna tag violet #usually i tag every character i mention in my posts but not for this story sksksks #it still baffles me like i have so many questions and i will never get answers to *why* this was even a thing #but i was right it did feel good to get it off my chest #i was thinking about this the other day and i dunno i guess good job to that anon? you became *iconic*#i dunno what your plan was but if that was it then a gold star on your forehead sksksks

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jennyandvastraflint · 26 days

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C: How did you come up with the title to "Until the dance ends"?

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

P: Where did you find the most inspiration for your story "Halloween Wars"?

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories? Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

(I'm so sorry, I am too tired now to read the Strax fic. But I read the beginning/introduction and I already love him for wanting to conjur some celebration for Jenny <3 I am sure he'll do great!)

Ahhhh, thank u for the ask!

C: How did you come up with the title to "Until the dance ends"?

Well, originally I saw a TikTok of two people dancing and one of them not showing up in a mirror, and that kicked off the initial thought process, and since I wanted them to be dancing, it's basically "Until the dance ends, they're happy together". It kinda fits as well with them having limited time (and Vastra making the music last longer because she isn't ready to face it ending) and all, I think!

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

Gosh, I love Turn Loose the Mermaids because it's such a sweet AU and I managed to put so many other characters I love in! And mermaid!Vastra sparks so much joy (Hi, Jenny's obsession with mermaids, I see you <3)

A few other favourites would include Butterfly Queen (it's so fucking fluffy and adorable okkkk), Like Leaves Falling (the healing for me because I've put in personal experiences), a kindest heart made me believe the world as I wish it to be (I'm a sucker for hair braiding as a love language and I am a touch-starved bastard), and Your beauty never ever scared me (I do love me a good fairytale AU... There's a reason I have like four published on my AO3).

P: Where did you find the most inspiration for your story "Halloween Wars"?

Well, I had the concept of Strax throwing a party that escalates into fighting lying around since shortly after Halloween 2020, but I never got round to writing it (said WIP would have included Jenny trying to get Vastra to dress up as a mermaid with a wig of long golden locks btw, and Vastra vehemently refusing, and Strax stealing the wig because he thinks he looks awesome with it...)

Apart from that, it was a lot of spontaneous ideas in the moment. I kinda sat down and wrote 9k in a day, so I don't remember that much XD I did go through a list of Doctor Who monsters to find a whole bunch I'd like to include. Fitting them all in was a bit of a struggle at first (also, I noticed a lot of the ones I had show up began with "S".... Sontaran, Silence, Slitheen, Sea Devil, Skithra... Oops), but I think it turned out fairly well!

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories? Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?

Not at all. It might have to do with my most "popular" fics being in for instance Legend of Korra and The Owl House spaces, which is y'know, slightly annoying when my main business is Paternoster Gang. And from those, I know with archive locking lots of my stuff, I lost guest readers, so many of my older works will show up with more kudos despite imo being nowhere near the quality and depth in characterisation of more recent fics. It's a bit disheartening, honestly, to see the works for some side fandoms be my most popular ones, and it's actually made me stop writing for most of them entirely. Like sure, I do wish my fics were read more, but I am (painfully) aware that the Paternoster fandom consists of like. Maybe three dozen people? Compared to that, LOK with KyaLin has a huge following, and TOH or The Dragon Prince are fairly recent shows and thus receive more attention. But honestly, I treasure each kudo and comment I get, because I know the people who are reading my stuff are loyal readers! I see their names pop up repeatedly and I remember them <3 So, huge thank you to those people who read regularly!

I hope you are satisfied with my answers <3

#fanfic ask meme #madame vastra #jenny flint #jenny and vastra #jenny x vastra #vastra x jenny #vastra and jenny #the paternoster gang #doctor who

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awiola · 1 month

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Normal update, winter XXIV

BUT IT'S NOT WINTER ANYMORE HA! Happy after-equinox to y'all. I planned to write the update in march and it's still technically march but, like, y'know, it's the first day of spring so it feels kind of late, ig? Not that it really matters here and I drew Morana on fire so all is good.

This is not completely [un]related but I'm trying to complete the 'draw sth for 100 days straight' challenge and rn it's going okay though I have to admit I'm being a lazy ass. But hey, a bad sketch a day is still a drawing. Not sure if that's the reason I wasn't able to complete my easter sketch dump but knowing me it wouldn't be finished anyway so whatever ig. AND YES, I WILL DRAW FATHER DAKI ON TIME. I planned to do it when I was drawing Agatha for thug in PE's style but oh well... You'll see both ot these pics on the first of april.

Also, like, in case anyone was interested, I finally decided to learn how to adult and might open comms this year? I tell myself I'll open them since, like, 2020 so yeah. Maybe. I think I will, tho.

Current game stuff

Mushroom game... Yeah... It exists and I technically haven't dropped it but yeah... Yeah... Tbh I even hid the link from my page but it's still public and all... But yeah... It goes into the "finally finish it in 2024, you stupid fuck" list - which, incidentally, is a mouthful so from now on it's gonna be "24 >:C" - together with Enmity and all.

Remember the golem game? Yeah, we don't see its non human form but I did technically draw it. Humanoids are, like, so last decade. It's called Sorcerer's golem and because I was not the lead, we managed to nicely finish it on time ✨ [Unrelated but I wonder what happened to the old unicode emotes, I need to look into it]. There's not really a lot I have to say here, tbh. It's short, it's wholesome, I'm totally not gonna go almost fully lineless again. I almost died and it was only two sprites. Never again proceeds to do that again later anyway.

Some time after, or maybe during, I can't really remember, I heard of Queer Vampire Jam and ofc had to join because I wouldn't be me if I managed to stop myself from joining yet another jam. It just so happened I both felt like shit and read something from my SF gods at the time so I commited this open ended 3k long story and it's, like, really obvious how I felt and what I was reading but then I decided to go yolo and publish it anyway, especially since I got an editor and made laby draw for me. Just had to publish it at that point. Enough about that, though - let's see what is it all about. Vani vani, because Tas tatum was deemed too lame of a name is a story about a [queer obviously] vampire who's kinda dead inside and it shows. I did say it was obvious I felt like shit. I'm not sure if it ended up being too edgy or not... I mean, I made it really obvious it's, like gestures vaguely y'know? I don't wanna spell it out but, like, the theme and everything there was so obvious I'll be disappointed in you if you didn't get it based on the pun title [the other two layers of puns there aren't as obvious] and the page/thumbnail. Unless, of course, you never heard about it at all which might be the case for people from other continents, I wouldn't know. I realise that doesn't say a lot about the contents but I mean, it's more of a progress update, I'm not actually trying to market anything here lol So whatever. It might be the only game ever where I put a whole nsfw scene of a sexual nature... Or it might just be the beginning of my unsexy h scene adventures. I even asked others how to make it as unsexy as possible and I hope I succeed. Going into gore or kink migh be sexy for some but boredom? Probably to no one who actually reads it. And, as is the case with my other personal games, not a lot of people read them. So I think I succeed at that. It's just the beginning of my SF adventures, though. Be prepared.

Now for the thing that might interest the potential reader the most because I saw the statistics and I bet all the follows are alse due to that - Impostor Syndrome. I know the page is pretty much silent but we are working on this. The common route received a lot of notes to make it longer, more cohesive, funnier and possibly better for all the gremlins that wanted a troll mode. Or at least that was the plan. Route wise we had something but after some consideration, it had to be basically scrapped. I won't go into all the details here as for why, but the rewriting of the outline is proceeding. Slowly cause it's kinda hard to find the best time to talk when you have multiple people from different timezones to consider but I think it's looking good. There's a sliiight possibility it might be a bit less vanilla than, like, your typical sfw otome but I don't think any vanilla lover would think it's too much or anything. Not nearly kinky enough for that. I think labelling it as having a soft dom MC might even be false advertising. Maybe. Hell if I know, I suck at tags. But yeah, it's proceeding. Obviously it won't be out during winter but I do think it will be finished this year. Most likely.

From other game stuff... I might have a monster type project made with Ameena for you. Or I might not. The designs are done but is anything gonna come out of them? We'll see. Leaving the possibility open.

I helped Doibats [who I helped with Cool Days before] with some art. This time it's an rpg, currently still in development. The cool art direction is still there so I think it would be worth a play when it's out. I think I'm more of a guest artist than an actual member of the team, though lol But yeah, check it out when it's done, I'll link it then.

Yet another game where I didn't do much - The Villainess Just Wants To Eat!! had its full, official release 🎉 Congrats to the team [check out their gui, btw]. I was mostly helping with this or that due to the usual jam team stuff that happens but yeah. Syd wrote afterstories for the charas, too. They're technically linked on the game's page, too, but you can read them on her tumblr, too.

I kind of forgot to mention, which also ties with my next point, but she hosted the Ossan jam again which I planned to join with my nano project about Wedding crashers but I overestimated my ability to write energetic chaos so... umm... Well, it's not dropped and while it won't get done in time for nano, I think I'll manage before Ossan jam ends. It started as a loose idea that kinda parodied romcoms and then the protag became an AAA battery but also aplatonic and then I got some concepts from tea[? - dunno how they want to be called 'officially' and this one seemed safe but?] and yeah. I'm trying to work on this, though. Even though I feel so stupid attempting to write an anthropologist. Should've stuck to writing mostly what you know like with Vani vani, eehhh... Wish me luck o3o

The last thing, or two, probably, is more of a... forecast? I happened to help with the editing of a certain 18+ otome game but I'm not on the team or anything so I can't really tell you more since I don't know how much should I reveal to the potential player but from what I've seen, the development goes well since they started making it for nano and might actually be finished before Otome jam ends so I'll link it then.

The other thing is that in an unspecified future I might have a yet another AAA battery protagonist, this time replacing the MC of an otome isekai story. I'm not sure how much I'll help with [maybe just editing, maybe we'd become a two person team, who knows] but it has a hight possibility of being developed eventually. No set dates or anything, though.

Pariiish noootiiiceees

Remember Tentacle jam and Insect [adjacent] jam? They're still happening, I'm just being lazy setting the pages up. The working date is from around the middle of august to the middle of october due to all the other jams happening at the time. I think it's the final date, though. It's come to my attention there's also the Monstrous Desires jam that also shares the timeframe almost perfectly so, y'know, why not make a game that lets you join all three of them? Just a thought.

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My god, this thing became so long. Like half the length of my typical personal project orz I had to add all the Ps and BRs manually. Damn you, html shakes fist

Over.

#devstuff #vndev #awi update

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