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#floof for thought
floof-ghostie · 4 months
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I just think the topic of microlabels, and xenogenders being "too complicated" and "stupid" is overall ridiculous. You have cis women on tiktok saying stuff like "I'm such a Coquette Lovergirl Femcel Girlboss full-of-Female Rage Girl's Girl", and people get it, and applaud it, but the moment a queer person says something like "I'm trigender and demiromantic" then it's annoying and overly complicated?
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leggalese · 2 days
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Everything started with imagining if Feen got a hold of kitten Bratworth and just the sheer amount of utter humiliation and misery Miles would get dragged through.
Yes, he would name him Meowrcutio.
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leefl00f · 4 months
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A story of when I almost watched a tword scene with my family :3
Lil Me at the family gathering, watching a cartoon: Oh boy! I love this cartoon! I hope nothing unexpecting happe—
*A freaking plant comes down and wrecks the group*
Me: *destroys the tv before anybody else saw* Oops! Sorry I thought I saw a giant mosquito on the screen and thought a hammer was alright to kill it! Those things get bigger by the years hahaha!
(that didn’t really happened but why do kid shows jumpscare you with tickle scenes at random times?!)
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floofanflurr · 2 months
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tmcsartstuff · 2 months
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The secret strat to uploading late is if you do it exactly a week after a holiday it’ll be more acceptable
take this drawing of @celestialalpacaron’s Overlord Husk AU I meant to post last valentines but got busy with life :D
I think the gaps in the arteza colored pencils actually gave it a crunchy look this time
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revasserium · 10 months
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neverending daydreams with kenma? 🫶
reqs are open :)
neverending daydreams
kenma; 3,709 words; almost freakishly fluffy, but also kinda trippy. basically my specialty and i love this fic a holy freaking hell of a lot. if u read pls PLS tell me what u think u__u and lemme know if u 'get' the ending!!!
he has never been, in all seriousness, what people would have called a dreamer. but having spent most of his waking hours either gaming or wishing he were gaming, kenma quietly considers the implications of being called as such. a dreamer. what a title — what a name.
what a burden.
“was it bad last night?”
“no, not as bad… but at least it was interesting.”
“oh yeah? tell me.”
“so there was a maze, right — and then you know the super hot manga character from the new series — yeah, he was there too, and we had to like figure out this maze but we couldn’t wear shoes —”
kenma lets his head lilt to one side, his eyes falling shut in the early afternoon sun filtering through the wide classroom windows. they’d been cracked open half an hour ago to let in some air, the spring blossoming into what kenma is already sure would be an absolutely sweltering tokyo summer. he’s already dreading it.
“— and then i woke up!”
“aww… lame! you didn’t even make out!”
your laughter spills across the room, warm as the sun now soaking into kenma’s skin and he shakes himself awake, blinking unfocused towards the gaggle of girls sitting three rows ahead of him, heads bent together, a multi-limbed conglomeration of painted nails and hair pins, phone baubles and perfume. he shudders slightly — making out — what a thought. how gross. he’d never understood the appeal, even as more and more of his classmates began to whisper about it, to joke and cackle about it next to the shoe-lockers, in the stalls of the boys bathrooms during lunch, on the benches near the playparks on the way home, loitering around convenience store corners, eyes lingering on bare skin and bracelets, on rolled up sleeves and blushing cheeks.
kenma crinkles his nose, thinking now, of noses. and where on earth they’d even go if you were to —
“oi kenma-kun, do you have notes from yesterday’s class? i lent mine to kiyo in 2-b and she says her dog ate it.”
kenma blinks, nonplussed as your face swims into view, his vision catching on the tiny gems glinting from your earlobes.
“huh? you… don’t really believe that, do you?” he asks before he can quite stop himself. the resulting silence makes an uncomfortable heat climb up the length of his neck till his cheeks are burning with it, and still, you stare at him.
“why shouldn’t i? her dog eats weird stuff all the time.”
kenma blinks again, owlish, and he’s unsure if your confusion is feigned and this entire thing is just some elaborate prank, one that’ll break you into laughter any second. he resists the urge to look around, to make sure that the rest of his classmates aren’t all watching him like they’re in on the joke, waiting for the cue to start laughing as well. he feels his shoulders shrugging up as he fights down a frown.
“yeah but… that’s like the oldest excuse in the book, isn’t it? my dog ate my homework?”
this time, its your turn to blink, cocking your head to one side as you regard him, not a hint of malice or trickery in sight. he feels almost ashamed of himself for thinking it of you. of course you wouldn’t.
and then, you laugh. and he starts again, not because this was what he’d been afraid of but because this is the exact kind of laughter he was not expecting, pure and unhurried and unabashedly happy.
“ah — i guess you’re right, but… well, if she wants to keep my notes, then that’s fine. i’ll just make another set. so…” you smile at him, bright as dawn and summer starlight, “can i borrow your notes from yesterday?”
kenma resists the urge to groan, because his mind is already racing into overdrive — why not just ask kiyo from 2-b to give you back your notes again? nay, to demand that she give it back? to threaten her dog with… with what yet, kenma isn’t sure, but he is sure that that would be simpler, would it not, than to ask him for his notes. even though, sure, yes — he has almost all the same classes as you and sure, yes — he does also take pretty good notes. and sure, yes — fine.
this might be the path of least resistance but… doesn’t it feel a bit like punching in the cheatcode? isn’t it stunting… character growth and exp gain for both you and kiyo in 2-b? what if this causes a glitch in the matrix and you’re stuck in the eternal loop of borrowing people’s notes only to have your own notes be taken and eaten by kiyo’s homework-devouring dog until no one in school has notes anymore and everyone fails? would everyone have to hard-reset and start the year over?
“uh… sure… i guess. if you promise to give it back.” he reaches into his bag to pull out his notebook, pressing his lips for a second before handing it over.
you make a noise that’s caught between a squeal and a squeak. it’s a happy sound, he’s sure.
“thank you, thank you, thank you! and yes, i promise i’ll give it back! and my dog doesn’t eat homework — only table scraps and puppy treats — and maybe the occasional piece of trash on the sidewalk, but definitely no homework!”
you press the notes to your chest and beam at him and kenma finally lets out a soul-shaking sigh. he wishes he were home; he wishes he were playing video games; he wishes that the day came with a fast-forward button so he didn’t have to deal with all these scenarios that don’t make a lick of human sense.
the next day, when you return his notes, it’s with a shy smile and that he isn’t entirely sure what to make of. you’d licked your lips and looked anywhere but at him before pressing the notebook back into his chest and scurrying off with a thankssomuchforyournotes! tossed over your shoulder before you’re disappearing into your multi-limbed girl-gaggle and they were all laughing and giggling as they absorb you back into their amorphous blob, casting furtive glances his way that make his shoulders want to shrink up to his ears, if only to hide his face behind.
he hunkers down over his notebook, adjusts his sports bag and hurries into homeroom.
it isn’t until japanese literature, when he’s flipping open said borrowed-and-now-returned notebook that he notices — there’s a drawing on next blank page. or, well, what used to be the next blank page but is now definitely no longer blank. and it’s a drawing of you.
kenma stares down at it, at the cartoonishly large head, the huge, anime-lashed eyes, at your chibi-rendered hands clasped together in an unmistakable gesture of thanks. and something inside him jumps. something warm and thumping and uncoordinated. it coughs, skips, skids inside his chest and it takes him a moment to realize that it’s his heart.
thanks again! let me treat you to lunch sometime?
he reads the line four times before he finally manages to process the words. lunch. sometime.
treat?
he frowns. but school lunches are always free.
his eyes slingshot towards you, drawn as if by a magnetic force, and he finds you immediately. your eyes meet and a zing sings through him, shaking him from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. your cheeks flush, but you don’t look away. instead, you cock your head as if asking a question.
his heart thumps, and then thumps again. heat slowly unfurls in the base of his stomach, something like hunger, except it isn’t actually hunger. it’s a wanting, a thrumming wish — pressing and feverish and — he swallows hard, tearing his eyes away from you to look back down at the drawing, at the words.
treat. lunch. sometime.
sometime. but it can’t be during school. then when?
kenma freezes as realization washes through him, cold as a too-large bite of icecream.
oh. oh.
and then, he blushes hard enough for him to bury his face in his arms, refusing to pick his head up even when the literature teacher asks him expressly if he were feeling ill.
it’s saturday at noon, to be precise. and as kenma waits outside the neighborhood soba house, he wonders briefly if he’d accidentally stumbled upon a hidden side-quest that’s actually more difficult than the main storyline, because he’s almost certain that he’d never signed up for this.
cold-soba with you. alone. together.
no. he scuffs his feet against the floor, his fingers furling and unfurling in his pockets, so unaccustomed to not having a game console to fiddle with, no controllers to twiddle. he feels it like a phantom itch, like ghost-controllers as he opts for chewing on his lower lip instead.
stupid kuroo, taking away his switch. stupid, stupid, genius kuroo, letting it “slip” that kenma had a date on saturday, so that his mother had fussed all morning and had subjected him to a full-body pat down to confiscated the rest of his ill-hidden hand-held gaming consoles one by one with a scowl and a reprimand of no gaming when you’re on your first real date, kozume!
at least, he thinks, tugging his phone out of his pocket to flip through the preinstalled games there, there’s alway snake —
“kenma-kun! hi! sorry i’m late!”
your voice catches him like a punch in the stomach and he almost drops his phone, fumbling it for a second before catching it and shoving it into his pocket.
he looks up, a frown already forming on his forehead when he stops — he catches sight of you and that strange, twisting not-hunger-hunger gnaws at a growing space inside him. because oh — there you are. you’re standing in front of him, a little breathless, but dressed like… like a display from a pastry store window, or one of those ball-jointed dolls that have entire fan-followings online. you’re lashes and lace, earrings and nail-art, and all the normal things he’d come to associate with the strange, foreign concept of girl-geometry but you’re also nervous, and sweet, and looking up at him with those huge eyes, not unlike those in the chibi-doodle version of yourself that you’d left in his notebook.
and nervousness he understands. sweetness… he understands too. to a certain degree.
“no, you’re fine… i just got here too,” he says, and it’s a not-really-lie, because he did just get here… like fifteen minutes ago. but time’s just a human construct anyway, and there’s no point in getting caught up in the semantics.
he takes a breath at the same time you do, and you break into a fit of nervous laughter that makes him want to reach out and bottle the sound. or maybe just to record it on his phone for a rainy day. he tamps down the strange and doubtlessly creepy urge with a cough and motions vaguely towards the door.
“uh — you wanna…”
you nod, a bit too hard, before brushing by him into the soba shop and bowing to the middle-aged woman behind the counter.
she seats the pair of you in a booth, tucked into the corner, and for this kenma is thankful. he feels himself relaxing into the secludedness of the position.
“hot?” he asks, watching as you fan yourself with your hand from across the table.
you freeze and blush again, and he looks down immediately, feeling rather guilty for putting you on the spot. but when he glances back at you, you’re smiling.
“yeah, a little. it’s gonna be so gross this summer.”
“yeah, i know. i hate it already.”
he would’ve winced if it hadn’t been cut off by the sound of your laughter. with this, at least, he is familiar. how many times had he let himself melt into that sound during all those classes you had together? how many times had he centered himself around it, made it the still point of his turning universe, grounded himself to it so he could count from one moment to the next. he hadn’t thought it anything strange before now — after all, isn’t that what the internet says you’re supposed to do when you’re feeling unmoored? to find a commonality and stake yourself to it. only…
is it strange that he’d chosen your laughter?
it’d been such a simple choice, so easy to make — it was everywhere, and when it wasn’t there, he could conjure up the sound perfectly.
sitting across from you now, he pauses, wondering what kuroo would say if he were ever to bring this up. probably call him a pervert and never let him live it down.
“me too. i think i hate a lot of things but…” you break off, your eyes meeting his for a split second before looking away.
kenma breathes, watches the way you worry your bottom lip.
the conversation is stilted, but after a while, the awkwardness wears off. like silver soaking off years of accumulated tarnish, the shine breaking through as the soba is served and the pair of you are left slurping at the chilled noodles.
by the time he offers to walk you home, kenma finds that he’s no longer searching for things to do with his fingers, the phantom itch of a ghost-console no longer needed to occupy the space between his hands. and when you say goodbye to him this time, it’s no longer a string of words strung together too fast, tossed like an endless hope over your shoulder, but held between the pair of your bodies like a promise.
“see you on monday!”
kenma smiles, “yeah… sure. see you then.”
he watches as you turn to walk away, and his feet warm with the premonition of motion, but something holds him still, holds him there as he watches you take two steps, three steps — and then, you turn back around. and you’re closing the space between you and him, quick as a flash, your lips grazing the skin of his cheek, and then just as quickly, you’re falling back onto your just-taken steps, your cheeks ablaze as you wave a hand at him and race off before he can do more than open his mouth, his jaw loosened by the action, the thought — the motion and e-motion of it all.
kenma stares at the place where your body had just been, taking up space, and then oh-so-abruptly… not.
you’d turned the corner, and now not even your shadow lingers, but he fancies that there’s still a break in the light, a tear in the air just in front of him where you had been, warmed by your just-there-ness. slowly, he raises a hand to swipe it through that space, before bringing it up to his cheek to brush it against the place where your lips had been.
and are now no longer.
and there too, he feels his own skin, warmed by the just-there-ness of your no-longer-there lips.
three days, it takes him. three days to build up the courage to ask you out again. on another date. and this time, he doesn’t tell kuroo, or his mother, but he doesn’t bring games with him either.
the frozen yogurt place isn’t too crowded on a wednesday night, early enough to still be dinner-time, too late for the afternoon-stragglers to be out and about. he arrives, as he had done, fifteen minutes before you, and he wastes no time in starting a game of snake on his phone.
by the time you get there, it’s getting hard to maneuver the pixel-snake’s body without it’s tail trailing across the entire screen.
“i thought you’d only be into the kind of games with like… a million levels or something.”
your voice jolts him out of his intense concentration, and this time, he does drop his phone. your reach out to catch it with a knowing grin, handing it back to him, but by then, the large GAME OVER is already flashing over the screen.
“oops… sorry,” you say, looking genuinely apologetic.
“don’t be. and you’re right, i do like games with a ton of levels but… things like this are fun once in a while too.”
he blushes as he motions at the space between the pair of you, his phone still clutched in his hand, so that it’s unclear if he’s talking about the game or… something else entirely.
“only once in a while?” you venture, the slightest hint of a tease in your voice. and it’s incredible, he thinks, the change a single week’s worth of familiarity can do for the both of you. because while your first “date” had been all awkward silences and rough, stumbling changes of topic, this one — already — has taken on a sheen of smoothness and liquidity that makes kenma’s skin prickle up with what he can only assume is excitement.
“well… maybe — i dunno…” he gulps as he holds open the door for you to walk into the yogurt store, “it’s only a pattern if something happens more than three times, right?”
and god, where had this come from? this daring, this strange, almost alternate-universe confidence — and is he really flirting?
you let out a pleased sort of hum that warms his entire body and he thinks that he’d rather like to hear that sound again too. to add to his collection of bottle-able sounds that come from your body — he bites off the thought there, because kuroo will really start to call him a pervert then.
“i’m free on saturday,” you say, turning towards him to offer him a yogurt cup.
he stares at it for a second before taking it, letting his fingertips linger where they brush against yours.
“okay then,” he says, allowing himself the shadow of a smile as you ask him what his favorite yogurt flavor is, and he asks you your favorite toppings. and it’s easy like this, isn’t it? how had he ever thought this difficult? had it ever been? the bell-like sonance of your voice, the tinkling texture of your laughter, the great, blossoming fire licking up, up from the base of his stomach all the way to the top of his chest.
why had he ever scorned this as strange? as unnatural?
how could he have ever thought this to be a mere sidequest when this — he’s sure of it now — is the entire point of the game to begin with? because don’t all roads lead to this? to this giddiness and certainty? to this… unshakable knowing that he, even in his youth, is held still by in it’s immensity that this could be something more?
something like… love?
but it’s too early for that yet, and he’s getting ahead of himself. skipping the levels and peering at the walkthroughs.
he forces himself to focus on the tang of the yogurt, the crunch of the oreo chunks. he anchors himself to the grace of your smile and the weight of your laughter.
and after, when the yogurt is done and the night is still young, he offers to walk you home again. and this time, he doesn’t wait for you to close the gap between your bodies — he leans down to do it himself. because somewhere between the space of then and now, he’s made the decision that he doesn’t want the shadow or the just-there-ness anymore. he wants the just and the there. separate and whole and oh.
so that’s where your noses go.
the kiss breaks between you and kenma leans in to unbreak it.
you make a small noise at the back of your throat and he has to keep himself from grinning.
there, again, another bottle-able sound.
he inches his hand up to cup your cheek and you lean into him, pressing both your palms to his chest. and for moments and moments and moments, the pair of you stay locked there, breaking and unbreaking the kiss again and again and again until finally, you press him away to take a breath.
you are breathless, and so is he.
and briefly, oh so briefly, kenma wonders as he looks at you, stares into your eyes as you look back at him, if this could be called dreaming.
“oi… oi kenma-kun?”
kenma blinks, frowning slightly as your face swims into view, his vision catching on the tiny gems glinting from your earlobes.
“h-huh?”
your face is inches from his, and the afternoon sun is warm against his skin. the classroom behind you is filled with the scent of a blossoming spring, trailing into what kenma already knows will be an absolutely sweltering tokyo summer.
your voice rings through him like knowing, and your smile, when he finally focuses on it with bleary eyes and a buzzing mind, looks something like the remnants a dream.
“do you have notes from yesterday’s class? i lent mine to kiyo in 2-b and she says her dog ate it.”
kenma chews on his lips as he weighs the answer on his tongue, and finally, he allows himself a tiny, secret smile as he digs around in his bag for the notebook, handing it to you as he says —
“you don’t actually believe that, do you?”
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prismaticpichu · 4 months
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Zack, buying a manga for the cool as heck pictures, but not realizing that he is unable to understand the dialogue.
Sephiroth, bilingual, reads it aloud to Zack as they sit on the couch together <3
(Yes. He even does different voices to make the pupper laugh)
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csoisoi · 2 years
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how to care for your floof-lego
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blackholedjester · 1 day
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you know that other bird i posted? what if i told you i had another bird at the ready?
Once again, this au belongs to @hahskeleton! super swag, super cool/vpos
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i didn't have colors of Moon available to me while drawin this, so i had to improvise *insert jazz hands here/silly*
ansyways glowy boy <3
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curi0uscreature · 22 days
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* The negative reputation Floofty has in game is good to me for many reasons and what makes it better is realizing the people they genuinely like are in relationships 
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floof-ghostie · 5 months
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You ever see a take on girlhood/female rage that is just so white
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keischreiber · 2 months
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Thank you for the offer love! Mine would be Levi in character as much as possible. I welcome creative liberties when it comes to portraying Levi in a relationship but I'm especially fond of his sardonic humor, which I believe he would use even in a love letter. Is it possible to make it a confession? Let me know if you need anything, or if you'd like one in return from Reiner 💜
Thank you so much for waiting, and I hope that you enjoy it. The Levi in my head being an awkward romantic. Excuse him. xD
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leefl00f · 1 month
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Essay I made pls read it
essay I made for the fun of ep 7 & 8
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Just don’t kill me for this
You know, call me crazy, call me bias, but the more I think the plot over, the more I start to think that nuzi isn’t gonna work out in the end or it’s gonna fail in some way. 
Think about it, really think about it. Have we seen N and Uzi make a spark between each other so far? No, plus now that we know that J’s possibly gonna be in one of the final episodes, she definitely helped V in some way when she was entering the labs. 
Also are we not gonna talk about the first drawing of Uzi by Liam? The one that predicted majority of what the episodes were gonna be about? 
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Uzi has a heart crossed out beside her, that has to mean something. Everything on that picture always means something’s gonna happen. So here’s what I think will happen:
Uzi decides to sacrifice herself, maybe she felt like it was better for her to go for the sake of her people and the ones she cared about  
N sacrifices himself, and she has no love 
My third one was that she didn’t like like anyone and lacked the want for romantic love, but that was stupid 
Another pointer (and people are gonna call me stupid and bias for this but I’m gonna get back to nuzi in a minute), the spark 
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“Electric love- The touch of a love interest will either literally or metaphorically feel like a shock of electricity.”
According to tvtropes.org, creators of certain works tend to use this trope to tell the reader that the character’s love interest is the one or that the character is making a connection to them. At this moment, N and V are making a connection, the day that they met was a huge impact on their story together in the manor. 
It was obvious that N loved V in this scene, and we see more of this in ep 5 in the library where he was reading to V despite her being in a stasis like state. He cares for V and still does to this day. 
“Is V…okay? Like, in the future?” 
- N, Episode 5: “Home” 
And listen I know I’m looking at the past eNVy, but it still plays a role at how N and V looks at each other now. I know that most of you guys disagree with this and that present eNVy is a lost cause. But you want to know why I still have hope for those goobers?
Because I saw this subplot before 
Character meets another character (love interest), they fall in love- (N and V meet for the first time, this isn’t really dug into much) 
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Something happens for them not to be together, and only one of them knows- (manor massacre, the trio turning into DDs) 
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One of the characters tries to push the other away to protect them (secretly out of love), only making it worse- (V trying to kill Uzi in Cabin Fever)
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Character (og love interest) leaves- (V sacrificing herself for the others, no I’m not saying that the scene was primarily for the shipping y’all can shut up abt it)
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Am I the only one seeing the pattern here? This plot normally ends with the character coming back to their original love interest in the end of the story, about no matter what happens between two characters, they’ll always find a way back to the other. 
How? By said character (og love interest) coming back in a dire time. (possibly at the end of ep 7) 
And now for how V treated N, again in the third dash she’s doing just that, trying to protect him for the truth bc she thought he couldn’t take it. And yes, it wasn’t nice for her to do the things she did to N in that time, but I’ll always remember this conversation between the two. 
“V, if you’re hiding something, we can figure it out together. Even if we each have the pieces, please, what do you know—“
-N before getting his head chopped off by V, Episode 2: “The Promening”
“What’s best for you, even if you hate me for it.”
-V, Episode 2: “The Promening” 
“Even if you hate me for it.”, V knew what she signed up for when it came down to protecting N (again another example for the lil subplot I listed above). We see her actively push N away from the truth throughout the series, which results in him wanting to dig even deeper as to what’s actually going on. Sure, she could’ve just spilled the beans to N, but where’s the fun in that (Story wise)? 
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And now that we know we’ll get a J plush once episode 7 or 8 releases, there’s no doubt that she helped V escape and/or kill the sentinels. There could also be a possibility that while the sentinels were dragging V back alive, J bumped into them and saved her like that. But who knows? 
However, I do not agree with what she did to N, it was mean and unacceptable. I’m only saying this bc I saw this plot before where there was a mean character that did the other wrong but it was to protect them (that, or they didn’t know how to show it, but the second one’s ridiculous). 
Now onto nuzi 
Look at their hands 
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There is no spark when they intertwine their hands. Think back to what I said previously on how sparks are important when it comes to romantic relationships in robots. Throughout ep 4-6, there was no spark. And even in the season finale trailer, still no spark. 
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I believe that nuzi will fail not for the fun of it, but we know how Liam likes to play around with his characters in stories such as this one. I’m not trying to hate on it in this post now, but the more I think this over, the more I start to realize how this might go down in the end. One or the other is going to sacrifice to save the rest and it’s gonna be N or Uzi. 
However, I could be wrong with this whole analysis and glitch might give us the kissing or spark scene between our main characters in the last two episodes. But my point still stands about the spark. 
N and Uzi never had one so far, which will possibly be their downfall in the end. 
That is all for this post, I accept that nuzi is a ship, but I’ll die before I accept it in my heart. This isn’t to ruffle any feathers or start drama, these are my own thoughts and opinions on the matter.
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maybe-arts · 2 years
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when you're a baby eldritch abomination made of pure positive vibes and your boyfriend is a living yarnball
so yeah that's my hc for Fluff outside of Patchland! boy becomes a ball of yarn - meaning technically he and kirby are completely different species
also i am. aware it's basically 22nd now but SHUSH I AM CATCHING UP
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truth-01001001-liar · 5 months
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been debating it but… im gonna do it im gonna make my nerevarine’s hair even fluffier
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revasserium · 10 months
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*runs in* ISAWYOURAUPOSTNAJSJSJSJJS Omg hiii
I really like your blog! It's like yummy food for my tired brain, so I got really excited to see you're making aus!
Can I ask for roommate au with Jamil? I'm down bad for him;;;
for my 31 days of au challenge @bakedgrape
a story in reverse
jamil; 3,571 words; fluff and slightly suggestive themes though it's never actually nsfw; college roommates!au + implied fwb...; you can read the story top the bottom or bottom to top ;)
day 273.
on the last day of term, you say goodbye for the very first time — and it stings like an unsuspecting papercut found by a thoughtless dollop of hand sanitizer, sharp and bitter with the pang of betrayal.
“ah… i guess this is it, huh?” jamil’s voice is lighter than it usually is, and just as forced.
“you say that like we’re not coming back next year…” you say, though there’s a twist in your stomach that makes your throat seize at the thought, even if it is just a thought.
“s-sorry! i just meant —“ he clears his throat and tries again, “i meant that i’ll see you soon, hm?”
for a second, you don’t know what to say — you can feel a torrent of unsaid words pushing up against the back of your throat like an insistent tide, crashing against the shore of your tongue. but then, jamil is reaching out to tip your chin back, brushing his lips to yours.
“soon. i promise,” he whispers, his eyes softer than you’ve ever seen them, gray and bright as the breaking dawn.
“yeah — i’ll see you soon, jamil.”
you pull your lips into a smile and watch as he jogs towards the curb, kalim already waiting there for him with their family car (rich boys, ugh), a dark-suited man in shades dipping his head in your general direction before slipping into the driver’s seat. you wave as jamil and kalim both turn towards you, raising their hands.
“see you next year!” jamil calls even as you nod.
“yeah, see you!”
and then they’re pulling away from the curb, leaving you standing there amidst your three rather large, well-scuffed suitcases. you let out a long sigh, plopping down on the largest one, the shell painted red and gold, though the colors barely peak out now from beneath the countless travel stickers to places that you’ve never been to (but jamil had promised he’d take you to all of them, didn’t he?)
well. there’s always next year.
day 212.
“are you gonna dorm again next year?”
“hm? i’m not sure… kalim says that we should just get a place together, so that’s what i might do.”
“oh.”
you pause over your half-eaten tub of haagen-daz, licking your lips of the mint-chocolate flavor. jamil glances over, reaching out to dig his spoon into the melting icecream.
“don’t worry though, wherever you’re staying, i’m sure we’ll be able to find a place nearby,” jamil says, flashing you a smile and a wink even as you duck, your cheeks flooding with color.
“that’s not what i was thinking about!”
“no? hm… i could’ve sworn that’s what you were looking so upset over but… well, if i’m wrong…” you can hear the mock-seriousness in jamil’s voice as he shrugs and heaves a melodramatic sigh.
“you’re the worst…” but you can’t keep from grinning as he cocks a challenging eyebrow in your direction before pouncing on you, pinning you beneath him on the sofa, the springs squeaking beneath you as the nearly drop the nearly empty pint of icecream.
“j-jamil! the ac’s still out —“
“mm… but isn’t that why we got icecream?”
his lips chase fire over the plains of your skin and despite everything, you find yourself shivering.
“y-yeah but —“
but your words die on your lips as he sinks his teeth into the juncture of your shoulder and neck, tearing a gasp from your throat as your head tips back.
day 196.
he’s always running high after his dance competitions, and this time it’s not different. so when he comes home, his eyes limned in glitter and khol, you’re not surprised to feel yourself being hauled out of your chair and into his lap, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs as you purse your lips, card your fingers through his hair and hold his face steady with a teasing grin.
“i’m guessing that you guys won?”
“course we did,” he says, his breath still coming in short enough pants, his irises blown nearly black as he leans up to nip at your jawline, “we swept.”
“mm — i mean, you guys are pretty damn good.”
“how would you know? you never come to our competitions, even when i ask.”
you pull back with a dainty smack of your lips, pressing a finger to his frown.
“you guys could try to have competitions that aren’t either overseas or during exam weeks — then i might actually be able to go.”
jamil rolls his eyes, readjusting your in his lap even as he lets his head fall back against the sofa cushions.
“stupid exams…”
“just because some people are geniuses doesn’t mean we all are —“
your breath hitches as he narrows his eyes, a quicksilver glint flashing behind them as he hoists you up into a bridal carry and makes a beeline for the bedroom door.
“but since some other people finished their most stressful exam today… don’t you think they deserve to be… rewarded?”
a delicious shiver races down the length of your spine as you allow yourself to be plopped down on your too-narrow bed. jamil grins like the devil as he tugs off his sweat shirt and you can’t help the way your stomach clenches at the sight of him — so lithe and muscular, his skin smooth and perfectly sun-kissed. you’d never get tired of looking at his body, not in a million years, you think.
“i… i suppose one night off wouldn’t hurt…”
“mm, that’s what i like to hear.”
day 120.
“dance practice again tonight?”
“yeah. every monday, wednesday, and thursday —“
“— and sometimes fridays and sundays —“ you grin as you watch him shove a towel into his sports bag.
“here,” you say, holding out his water bottle, “i — uhm — you said you wanted to try liquid iv’s the other day so i put a packet in for you — i don’t know if you’d like the flavor but…”
jamil blinks as he pauses over his half-tied shoes.
“thanks.” he reaches out to take the bottle from you, giving it an experimental shake, “i — uh — i’m sure it’ll taste just fine. that was… really thoughtful of you.”
you hate the heat creeping up your cheeks as you turn back to your studies.
“it’s nothing. they had them at the farmer’s market i passed by this morning so…”
“uhm… will you be… up… when i get back?”
your head snaps up as you turn to look at him, eyes wide. fire courses through you, followed quickly by the sobering cool of uncertainty but still. you gulp and lick your suddenly very chapped lips.
“i — i don’t know… may… maybe?” you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, casting your eyes back at your half-written notes, your mind already spinning over the calculations of how long it’d take for you to finish them properly.
memories from the past few weeks flood through your mind and you can’t help the twisting coil of tension thrumming at the base of your belly.
“well… i’ll text you later when i’m on my way back then,” jamil says, double-knotting his sneakers and flashing a grin your way. he gives you a two-fingered salute before he’s off and out the door, leaving you very nearly squirming in your seat at the mere thought of ‘later’.
day 101.
the third time it happens, neither of you can blame the alcohol. there was no party this time, no crush of ill-dressed bodies, no too-loud music and too-cheap beer. this time, there was just you and him and a shared bowl of under-salted popcorn, the lights off, a rerun of some movie both of you have watched at some indefinite point in time.
you don’t quite remember who made the first move — maybe it was you, when you’d coiled your legs under you, pressing your knee to the outside of his thigh and leaving it there. maybe it was him, when he’d rested his arm along the back of the sofa and let his fingers tangle absently in your hair.
maybe it was the moment of breath between one scene and the next, when the screen had gone miraculously dark and left nothing but the imprint of light behind both your eyes and before either of you could blink it away, your lips had found each other.
there’s nothing to blame this time but yourselves and each other, no questions to ask but the ones you’d already answered — right here, right now, because it feels good, because it feels right.
you fall asleep tangled in each other’s limbs, half beneath the silken covers of jamil’s brand new sheets.
and when you both wake up this time, it’s to the warmth of each other’s arms, the steady of one another’s breaths. jamil doesn’t pull away and you don’t try to think of something casual to say. instead, you both just look at each other and jamil grins.
“so… breakfast?”
you laugh, letting your head thump back onto his uber-plush pillows.
“yeah. that sounds fantastic.”
day 75.
the second time it happens, you blame the alcohol. you blame the crush of ill-dressed bodies, the too-loud music and the too-cheap beer. who’s idea was it to host a house party in your dorm room of all places anyway? and why is jamil’s entire dance crew suddenly here? hooting and hollering and grinning knowingly in your direction, a few of them even tossing you obvious winks.
as if they knew.
do they know?
you curl into yourself, press your body against the cool of the wall and toss back your drink, grimacing at the taste. whatever jamil had put in the punch bowl originally, there’s no question that it’s since been spiked with maybe a dozen different alcohols. and the mixture is fowl as it burns through your chest into your stomach.
the room spins, and eventually, you find yourself being pressed up against the back of your bedroom door, the party still booming along outside.
“f-fuck —” you fist your fingers in jamil’s long hair and tug; he lets out a hiss as his head jerks back, but even in your alcohol-induced haze, you can see the desire burning bright within him.
“sorry — did i —?”
“no — just f-feels good —” you bury your face in his shoulder, your body going soft and languid in his arms even as he slots a leg between your thighs to keep you still against the too-thin door. your hips ruck down against him and he lets out a thick groan at the way you shake against him.
“yeah? g-good… i like that —” he tugs you back with him and the pair of you topple onto your bed, all desperate fingers and dirty hands, sloppy lips, taking what you can, each from the other as if your bodies were endless things. and like this, with his hand pinning your wrists above your head, his gasping breaths bursting by your ear, you think they just might be.
the next morning, you wake up to an empty bed and cold pancakes on the kitchen counter.
day 47.
“why don’t you just talk to her about it?” kalim asks.
jamil frowns, running through his cooldown stretches, his eyes focused on his own form in the mirror even as kalim glances over at him.
“because — what’s there to talk about? i mean — it was just… one of those things.”
kalim shrugs, turning back to the mirror as well.
“if you say so but… it seems like you wanna talk to her about it.”
“it’s fine.”
“till it happens again.”
“it’s not gonna happen again.”
kalim slates him a look; jamil scowls even harder.
“if it does —” kalim’s voice is light as they both pack up their stuff and click off the lights to the dance studio.
“i said its not gonna happen again,” jamil snipes, readjusting his bag on his shoulder and digging out his phone. your message thread is pulled up and he’s halfway through the sentence — on my way back — before he catches himself and shoves his phone back into his pocket.
kalim grins, looking a bit too smug as jamil clears his throat and tries to play it off as if nothing’s happened.
“if it does… you should make her breakfast the morning after.”
“w-why the hell would i do that?”
kalim laughs, “because! then she’ll know that you might want to spend more time with her — time when you’re not —”
“okay! okay — ugh… but like… what do i even make her for breakfast anyway?”
kalim looks much, much too pleased with himself as he peers into jamil’s face.
“how about pancakes?”
day 31.
the first time it happens, it’s barely more than a month into your co-habitation. it’d been a not-quite-accident kind of accident. it’d been one of those rare nights when jamil doesn’t have dance practice and you’d finished all your work early.
“wanna play a game?”
jamil’s smile had been viper-sweet and just as dangerous.
“only if drinks are involved.”
you roll your eyes but agree.
“never have i ever.”
jamil shrugs, “sure. we drink if we’ve done the thing, right?”
you nod, pouring a row of malibu shots. jamil grimaces.
“why malibu?”
“cause — it’s sweet and it’s cheap and it’s the only thing we had in the cabinet.”
“fair. alright — you go first.” jamil pulls a glass towards him, his eyes fixed on you. he watches as you swirl your own shot glass with a contemplative look on your face, and he wonders if you know how terribly tantalizing you look.
so… he might’ve caught himself staring a few times right after you’d gotten out of the shower, wrapped in nothing but a towel, your hair tracing water down the bare skin of your shoulders and back. and he might’ve lingered over your uncapped bottle of perfume, swallowing hard as he catches a whiff of the vaguely floral fragrance, the base warm and woody and dizzying.
“never have i ever… gone to three different countries in one month.” your smile, when he finally fixes his gaze on you again, is nothing short of wicked.
he narrows his eyes as he takes his shot, “that’s not fair — you know i have to travel for my dance crew’s international competitions.”
you roll your eyes, “yeah, and i’ve never been to half the places you’ve been so…”
“i’ll take you with me one day,” he says, the words out of his mouth before he can stop himself. you cock your head as you stare at him, and then you raise your already refilled shot glass.
“i’ll hold you to it then.”
jamil refills his own glass and downs the shot.
“never have i ever… been walked in on after taking a shower.”
“hey! and who’s fault is that?”
jamil smirks, shrugging nonchalantly as you take your shot, quick and vindictive.
“fine — never have i ever walked in on someone after they’d just taken a shower.”
jamil takes his own shot in stride, swallowing down the burn with a wide, satisfied smile.
so it goes on like this, the never-have-i-evers getting more and more ludicrous till you’re both drunk and laughing and more than a little hot beneath the collar.
“never… have i ever… hm…” you muses, your head lolling back as you cast your eyes up at the ceiling, as if an interesting thing not to have done might be written there.
“what’s something… super cliché?” jamil wonders aloud, letting his gaze flicker up as well.
you pause for a moment before dissolving into a pile of red-faced giggles.
“oh! never have i ever hooked up with a roommate! there — that’s a good one.” you smile wide and sure, looking proud of your own accomplishment in thinking up this thing that you’re certain he’s done.
jamil licks his lips and swallows, his eyes meeting your as he lets out a breath.
“i haven’t either.”
the air between the pair of you thickens as your eyes flash down towards your empty shot glass.
“oh.”
“but i guess it is kinda cliché, huh…” he says, setting down his glass and dragging a thumb along his bottom lip before popping into his mouth.
he hears rather than sees the way your breath hitches and he can’t help the pleased purr rumbling through him at the thought of being able to do this to you.
“y-yeah… i guess it is…” you lick your own lips, “makes you feel a little left out, doesn’t it?”
jamil hums in response, and it isn’t till you look up again that you realize he’s leaned over the graveyard of now-emptied shot glasses, his lips hovering inches from your own.
“but how about we change that, hm?”
day 15.
it only takes two weeks for one of you to walk in on the other in the bathroom, and all things considered, it was kind of a miracle that it hadn’t happened sooner. the bathroom door doesn’t really lock and jamil had been too preoccupied with scrolling through the music for their next showcase to see the tell-tale strip of light beneath the door that usually indicates that the bathroom is currently occupied.
when he pushes through, it’s to find you stepping out of the shower, the steam still rising from your skin in thick, white wisps, your hand reaching for the towel on the rack.
“wh —”
jamil stares, drop-jawed and dumbstruck as his eyes rake over your very, very naked body, the music still thumping from his large headphones as he blinks.
you scream.
he slams the door shut.
15 minutes later when you leave the bathroom, your cheeks flushed a deep shade of maroon, your hair still damp, but your body now covered in a long t-shirt and sweats, neither of you says a thing.
day 3.
three days in and you have to admit that it’s kind of nice, having a super rich trust fund boy as your roommate. if nothing else, all the furniture he’s brought along is gorgeous — from the thick persian rugs to the tasteful suede sofa, you very quickly find yourself living in a dorm that looks like it might have belonged in the pages of a crate & barrel magazine spread.
“but apparently, his cousin’s family is even better off —” one of your friends had informed you after you’d looked up jamil’s family online, very quickly finding the wiki page that links him to the al-asim family.
“oh yeah? what do they even do?” you squint at the wikipedia page detailing the al-asim family legacy.
“i think something to do with… water filtration?” your friend peers over your shoulder as you scroll through the page before clicking back to google. she tugs your phone out of your hand and quickly types something into the search bar before making a gagging noise and turning the phone results back towards you.
“holy shit.”
“holy is right,” your friend had said.
“with a net worth like that… what the hell are they doing in school?” you ask, your eyes wide as you look back up.
your friend shrugs, a wicked grin twisting her lips as she leans over the library table and whispers in your ear —
“but y’know if you can bag jamil you’ll be set for life!”
you flush and shove her away, “shut up! we’re just roommates!”
your friend tuts, “plenty of people end up hooking up with their roommates — it’s a literal cliché at this point.”
you roll your eyes, “well not for us, it won’t — and e-even if we do… there’s a long way between ‘hooking up’ and bagging someone for life.”
your friend giggles, batting her lashes floridly at you, “never say never!”
day 1.
“o-oh! hi — sorry, you must be…”
jamil frowns, turning around at the sound of your voice.
“jamil viper…” he says as his eyes land on you for the very first time, taking in the three large suitcases gathered around your legs, and the light blush dusting your cheeks from what he assumes is the exertion of having wrangled them down the too-long hallway.
“yes — right…” you purse your lips, tucking a strand of hair behind your ears.
“and you must be my new roommate, right?” jamil says, recovering from his momentary shock to offer you his hand.
pretty, is his first thought, smells like flowers, is his second.
you beam up at him, nodding.
“it’s lovely to finally meet you!”
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