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#fleshing out the riley family
starstaiined · 1 year
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tatum is nine when they read the story of abraham and isaac during bible class. it is the first story that consumes her attention completely. the idea of believing in something so devoutly you could sacrifice what—who—you loved most without question scares her a little.
could she ever do the same?
the question sits heavy in tatum's mind for nearly a week: it plagues every waking moment and seeps into her sleep, twisting dreams to nightmares.
well, that isn't entirely true.
it isn't the question that haunts her. it's the answer.
tatum knows what the answer should be. she knows what good little church going girls should say. she knows what answer her mother would expect of her. she knows what answer the golden cross hanging around her neck should signify.
if god himself demanded the life of the person she loved the most, could she deliver the way abraham had?
the answer should be yes. undoubtedly. without fail. if the lord asked it of her there had to be a reason, and she should fall into line. the answer should be yes.
but it isn't.
because there is no world in which tatum could imagine giving up sidney prescott in any way, shape, or form.
not for a guaranteed place in heaven. not for god himself. not for the world. hell, not for the universe. because a universe without sidney prescott wouldn't be worth saving.
she wonders if that makes her a bad person.
she decides she doesn't particularly care.
on the sixth day of wrestling with the question and the answer, tatum sits up in bed. her hand clasp around the small golden cross glittering on the nightstand, and she bows her head.
"you can have anything else." her voice wobbles as she mutters to empty air, eyes squeezed shut in prayer. "you can have anything else, but you can't have her. not now. not ever. okay? i ... i mean it. do you hear me? if it comes down to a choice between you ... between you and her ... i'll choose her everytime." she swallows thickly, her little heart crashing against her ribcage violently. she thinks if her mother could hear her talking like this, she might have an aneurysm. "if you want her, you have to take me first, okay? please? because ... cause i don't think i could do any of this without her."
she sits in the quiet following that admission, the kind of vulnerability that makes her hands shake and her breathing stutter and her heart stall: sits as the air around her becomes palpable and tears well up in her eyes and it feels so unbearbly stifling in the small room.
she runs her thumb up and down the cross before setting it down on her nightstand. she picks up the stuffed bunny sidney got her for her last birthday—thinks of shy smiles and warm brown eyes that feel like the closest thing to peace tatum has ever seen—and her runaway heart slows.
she knows she made the right choice.
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shotmrmiller · 3 months
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simon isn't a man you take home. he's for the literal streets. dresses like he's homeless because all that matters is that his throwing knives and handguns are pristine. the only reason his home is spotless is because he doesn't live in it, it's all for show. his pantry has only salt and mouse traps, his fridge a long expired bottle of ketchup and something that if anyone ate, they'd gain superpowers.
he's got a crazy look in his eye, and who can blame him after all that shit he's been through? gut-wrenching betrayal, unimaginable torture, then buried alive shoulder to shoulder with his ol rotting buddy, ol decaying pal? he joined the military a butcher's apprentice, and now he's an echo of what simon riley used to be, a fading silhouette that wanders the corridors in base. a ghost.
he has to play music whenever he's not at work just to keep the screaming voices in his head at bay, and it has to be loud enough to drown out the incessant high-pitched ringing in his ears. a cacophony of noise that wears his thin string of patience into in-existence.
he's a killer, he's a man who's donned his skull mask for so long that he's forgotten the face underneath.
you don't bring a man like him home. and when you eventually did, even your parents had agreed.
he looks one clown short of a circus.
he hovers over you like a ghost. (ha)
possessive, obsessive, paranoid.
he'll kill you if you try to leave him.
simon heard everything, not like they had tried to keep their voice down. it hadn't really mattered to him, empty words pelting knotted flesh only a sharpened knife could cut through. but you hadn't taken any of it.
his little hero, coming to his defense. it'd been the first time- in a long time- that his icy cold, tiny heart skipped a beat.
simon's always been his own savior. he saved himself from the shit life he had with his family by joining the army. he'd clawed his way out of his own grave, freshly turned soil stuck under his fingernails for weeks. he'd gone after the head of roba, in the name of vengeance. even now, he's a part of the justice league, the task force 141.
unsung heroes.
and here you were, standing in your parent's kitchen, all bared teeth and scalding temper- over him.
simon's so aroused that when he rises from where he's seated, he sways on his feet. there's no stopping him from briskly walking over to you and hoisting you up and over his shoulder, heading for the door.
there's no stopping him from throwing you into the backseat, and climbing in after.
you weakly try to stop him with stammered words, just wanting to know what the fuck he's doing but when simon starts to impatiently undo the button of your jeans, his confined manhood pushing up underneath you, it clicks.
you don't want him to stop when the calloused pad of his thumb rubs your slippery clit with expertise, thick fingers curling inside your swollen cunt.
you definitely don't want him to stop when his cock slides through your slick folds, his hand wrapped around his thick base. his tip pushes inside, mild discomfort already flaring. gravity then does the work, slowly sinking you onto him until his thighs are flush against your arse. the sweet, decadent burn of him splitting you in half sparking your nerve endings alight, from the waist to your knees.
you beg him not to stop when he fucks you in earnest; desire, sticky and wet, dampening the coarse trimmed hair of his cock. the air inside the truck muggy, heavy and thick with sex. he places his hand under your navel, right when he knows he is, and grunts when he gently presses down. the noises coming from you and your sodden pussy are obscene, lewd, downright vulgar and he wonders if you'd let him record it- to replace the banal music he usually listens to.
your breath hitches beautifully, and simon makes sure to watch how you let go of his shoulder to weave that hand downward to take yourself over the edge.
"impatient little pet, can't even wait f'me to get ya there, eh?" the low chuckle he lets out is cut short at the feeling of your slick walls fluttering around him, making him groan. he keeps his sharp gaze on you when your body tenses, back arching as you jerk fast, little circles over your pearl. he plants his feet and begins to thrust upward, your weight nothing to his strength and-
how beautiful you look in the pleasure he brings you.
it's cliche, truly, that he comes when you do, but he couldn't care less in this instance. your cunt squeezes him like a silken fist, a tight vice that milks his cock almost painfully so. his grip around your waist is bruising, but it only adds to the sensation- the delightful bite of pain prolonging your pleasure.
the base of his spine tingles from his climax, and his breathing is ragged. alive. your hands skim the wide breadth of his chest, as if brushing off the dirt he'd once been buried under.
his little hero.
you took him home, so now he takes you to his.
(...don't look in the kitchen, pet.)
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yawnderu · 8 months
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Lovely — Dad!Simon "Ghost" Riley x Mom!Reader
"She looks just like you." You whisper softly, gaze full of love as you admire the baby between both of you. He doesn't respond for a long while, completely enamored by the little girl who is holding his finger with her entire tiny hand, looking in awe at the life you both created.
"She's so tiny." He whispers back, secretly afraid he'll startle the baby with his deep voice despite knowing she has fallen asleep to his voice and hums more than once. A small chuckle from you is all it takes for her face to turn towards you, her free hand grabbing a strand of your hair and trying to take it to her mouth before Simon gently intervenes, taking it back and giving her another finger to hold.
"Thank you." His gaze focuses on you as he cups your cheek, thumb tracing random patterns on your skin as the corners of his mouth tilt up in a small, tender smile.
"What for?" You ask as if you didn't know exactly what he was talking about, as if he hadn't thanked you hundreds of times for carrying his child ever since he found out you were pregnant.
"For creating her." His tone is as gentle and tender, and if it didn't show just how much he loves you, the look in his eyes totally did. He's looking at you like you're a goddess in the flesh— and you are. You give him a warm smile, leaning closer to plant a small kiss on his cheek, which he returns.
"I like our baby." He murmurs, his hand coming down to caress her cheek gently with one finger. He treats her like she's made of glass, and in his mind, she is. She's so tiny compared to his behemoth frame, and it took a while until he felt comfortable enough to hold her. He plants a soft kiss on her forehead, gaze drifting between his angels before he lets out a small sigh of content.
"She likes you too." You tease, playfully poking his side as the memories of how much of a daddy's girl your daughter is already despite being only three months old. It's lovely, really, to see the man everyone knows as "the big boy with the skull mask" become absolute putty under the tiny hands of his daughter.
He bends backwards for her, holding her late at night and talking to her, telling her all sort of stories about his life despite knowing she can't understand yet. His heart melts whenever his daughter simply looks up at him and babbles, hand reaching out to him and pulling on anything she can reach with surprising strength.
"Mum would have loved her." Your heart breaks at his hushed words, hand immediately reaching out to caress his cheek as he refuses to hold your gaze, simply looking down at your daughter with sadness hidden deep inside his loving stare.
"Look at me, big guy." It takes a few seconds for him to look up, and when he does, you can feel everything. The regret, the longing, the sadness, the pain. You bring him closer for a soft kiss, both of your lips turning up into a smile as your daughter interrupts you by babbling and holding onto Simon.
"You carry her love with you. In your eyes, your smile, your hair... her love didn't go with her when she passed." He looks down, biting the inside of his cheek softly before nodding his head, carefully holding onto your daughter before laying her down on his chest, one of his hands supporting her neck while the other one holds her body close to his.
"Never saw it that way." His voice sounds distant now, yet it's never devoid of affection and love for you. You know him well enough to know he's visiting a graveyard of memories. You lay down next to him, head resting on his shoulder, planting a kiss on his soft jawline.
"She was the best nan. Always spoiling Joseph and buying him anything she thought he'd like... at some point Tommy and Beth were running out of space because he had so many bloody toys." A small chuckle escapes his lips, smiling fondly at the memories of his family before they were taken from him. He felt comfortable enough with you to be able to speak about his family— you were always so patient, waiting years for this.
"They sound lovely." Another kiss to his jawline as you look at your daughter absent-mindedly run her fingers over his tattoo sleeve. It's ironic, to see such an innocent person tracing something meant to be representing of destruction and loss, yet that's what his life is, two sides of the coin that is Simon Riley's past and present. "I'm sure they're watching over you, proud that you have this life."
He gives you a soft grin, planting a kiss on your forehead as he looks out of the window, fingers absent-mindedly caressing your daughter's back while he looks up at the sky. I made it, mum.
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konigsblog · 22 days
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sleeping beside simon riley... 💤
simon is prone to reoccurring and horrifying nightmares that leave chills running down his spine, despite not being easily scared and desensitised. it could be a saddening and traumatising nightmare about his deceased family members or about something that he'd seen on the frontline, the gory and bloody sight of his teammates bodies, wounded with a bullet through their heart.
to simon, you're his coping mechanism, what soothes and relaxes him. it's not just your softness with him or your gentleness to approaching certain topics, but the sound of your heartbeat rhythm, your loving heart thumping against your ribs. his calloused hands dig into your flesh and hold you still while he breathes out shakily, attempting to calm himself down while tears form in his glistening waterline.
other times, simon finds comfort with your hands wrapped tightly around his lengthy shaft, stroking him while reassuring him that it'll all be alright, to take deep breaths while you roll your thumb over his leaking tip. it weeps and oozes creamy fluids from the head of his meaty, swollen cock, leaving his breathing heavy and his eyes half-lidded, tears staining his fair skin with his body jerking and twitching at your soft words and touch.
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halcyone-of-the-sea · 9 months
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To Be Alive In Summer
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PAIRING: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader
SYNOPSIS: Betrayal had never been in your cards, and you definitely didn't see yourself being the one responsible for the act. When having to go undercover, first comes the problem of staging your death.
WORDCOUNT: 8.3k
WARNINGS: Angst, betrayal, intense gore, violence, death, allusions to intimacy, weapons, vulgar language, recovery, torture, happy ending, etc.
A/N: The final request is finished, hope you enjoy it @l-inkage! Onto the AUs next.
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
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You didn’t want to do it, but in this job, comfort was always an option and never a guarantee. It needed to be done. And that meant sacrifices had to be made to the dark altar of your contract with One-Four-One.
But this one just might break you in the process. 
“Are you sure that,” you pause and think over the instructions that Price had just given you—straight from the top of the line. “Are you sure that this is the best way, Sir?” 
The man’s lips are flat, eyes narrowed, he doesn’t like this either—especially if you don’t. John’s a Captain, he tallies out orders and expects people to listen without hesitation; doesn’t express his worry about their safety because that isn’t what this is about at the end of the day. It’s about keeping the good people outside of bases like these alive and breathing.
And right now that hinged on you being dead.
“Berto needs mercenaries,” Price grunts, “and any record of you needs to be wiped before we send you in.”
Vito Berto—head of a crime family that had been picking up traction in recent years, so much so that One-Four-One had to be put on it for covert reconnaissance before any more people ended up dead.
You would be sent in under the cover of an experienced mercenary; one among the ranks that Berto would need for a hostile takeover planned in three months on the Palace of Westminster in London. The House of Parliament. 
Vito was one cocky son of a bitch if he expected no one to get word of this.
Your job was to uncover the exact date, time, and the mission plan before getting out as quickly as possible. In order to do that, the soldier holding your name needed to be dead so nothing could be traced back to you, your task force, or your loved ones. 
And people needed to believe it.
“Can’t the records just be forged, Sir?” You ask, the meeting room dark and pulsing with the cold air from the vents. “What about Gaz and Soap?” Your throat closes for a moment and you speak slightly lower. “Simon?”
Price sighs and crosses his arms, fixing the stance of his feet.
“They’ll deal with it.” Inside of your pockets, your hands twitch. 
He won't. Not inwardly.  
“I…” your jaw clenched. 
Your relationship with Ghost was…strange. You’d both had your fun, of course, and you had a casual air about that sort of thing—it had happened, but nothing more could ever come of it. There was a modicum of soft care with you two; an acknowledgment of partnership in the field and out of it. 
You didn’t have to explain to people that Ghost was closer to you than others. You’d seen his face; that says enough. 
“It needs to look real,” Price explains, tilting his head down to you. “Not only for Laswell's state of mind but yours. I won’t be putting you in without giving you the best chance.” 
“You can’t tell them?”
“Negative. Security measure.” You frown, biting at your lip.
John closes his eyes and shakes his head. A second later a hand is set on your shoulder and the man leans in slightly to reassure you like a relative. You look up into your Captain’s gruff face, seeing the small amount of care he levels into his cerulean irises for you. 
He squeezes your flesh, watching hard.
“We need you for this, Trick.” The nickname was exactly why you were the only one who could do this. 
You were the first choice. No one was better at undercover work.
“How long would I be gone, Price?” Shifting out of the hold, you cross your arms and level him with a dead stare. “How long do they have to live with this lie?”
John grunts. “Less than three months, yeah? But all of it’s up to how long it takes to gather intel. Full black.” 
“Exfil point?” 
“Town five miles from Berto’s estate. Cafe with a red door near the bookstore. Woman inside’ll be your handler.” You turn away to glare at the far wall, hesitant even when you know you shouldn't be. This was your job. 
Brown eyes keep flashing behind your eyes—a skeletal mask that stares with stained glistening blood, blood you yourself feel reflected on your own visage. A shared damning of two people who would never see those great halls of the afterlife. Neither of you are good.
Simon had to understand. 
The Captain sees the shift in your expression.
“You in?” He asks you with a blank look. 
You take a deep breath, chest heavy and heart hurting. “I don’t like it,” your voice is low, monotone. “But, yeah, Sir, I’m in.”
“Good,” the man nods, hooking his thumbs into his belt. “It’ll happen in three days. Be ready.”
You watch him walk out of the room, patting you on the shoulder one last time before the door shuts behind him with a click of finality that pierces your lungs. You clear your throat and swallow down saliva, turning your face away as if ashamed. 
It’s the quiet that gets to you in that moment—the encompassing nothingness. So often you would have moments like these with Simon. Just sitting; not taking. But this silence was so different. 
This was betrayal. 
After you steady the slight tremor in your hands, you scoff and shake your head backing up a step before leaving the room; turning off the lights. 
You walk down the long hallway, feet heavy as your mind runs, and overhead the lights buzz like flies. Eyes stuck to the floor, your shoulders are hunched in with thought and your lids half-closed in a display of obvious inner turmoil. 
The shadow that waits for you, leaning against the wall, you walk past entirely—missing it and not hearing the confused call of your name behind you because of it.
“Trick!” Your hand comes up to itch at your chin, fingers pushing into your flesh. The aggressive Manchester accent slides off of you until large fingers curl into the back collar of your vest rig. 
You breathe in sharply, blinking in surprise as your feet get pulled back a step or two, pace halting as Ghost curls around your body, staring down at you. His brows are narrowed, that mask still on and the bottom fabric twisted in the obvious downward press of his lips.
“Bloody hell is wrong with you, then?” 
Sighing, you scowl and shake him off of you, moving back to allow yourself some air. Did he really have to show up now? Why was he even here, you had to ask yourself. Was he…waiting for you?
“Nothing,” you don’t look at him, speaking low. “Distracted, is all.” 
Ghost crosses his arms slowly, his brows flinching briefly as he makes a sound in the back of his throat. “Meeting go well?” 
“Fine.” He can tell something’s wrong; you know he can—he’s the best at interrogations for a reason. Ghost knows when someone is lying to him. 
You glance at his chest before you begin to open your mouth. 
What could telling him hurt? Just a hint. He’d get it—I know he would. Berto had the nickname ‘The Tanner,’ given to him by his men. When he found out anyone had double-crossed him, he’d take a large breaking knife and separate the thin layers of skin from his victims. Intel suggests he keeps them awake for all of it, stopping when they pass out only to start again when they wake back up. 
If there was any leak in this base…any at all…you wouldn’t be coming back. 
You wouldn’t be coming back to him. 
Simon’s thighs shift.
“Talk to me.” He always speaks like he doesn’t care about the answer, but you’d be a fool this far into your… relationship? To believe that he didn’t. You’d seen Simon panic over your injured body before—it told you enough. 
The easy moments and the side-eyed looks when he thought you didn’t notice or weren’t doing the same to him. 
Your fingers twitch, forcing a smirk that didn’t convince even you. Your heart was telling you to explain it to him, but your brain was firmly set behind iron doors; tongue held back by iron tongs. 
“Personal matters, Simon. Nothing you need to worry about, Big Guy.” He doesn’t look away from your eyes. Brows set in a line and that mask jeering at you; almost mocking. 
The Lieutenant doesn’t answer and your heart is visible from under your gear.
“J-just,” you stutter, face getting hot as you look away. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s…” 
Trailing off, you rub at the back of your head in a self-soothing motion. 
Simon blinks slowly and you hear a large chest-rattling sigh. He shrugs in that way only he can—a fast jerk of shoulders that looks more like he’s trying to push off a bug than simply trying to move past what you’re saying to him. 
“Doesn’t make a difference,” it does. “Garrick and MacTavish are waitin’ down at the firing range. Best get down there ‘fore one comes looking like a kicked dog.” You can still feel him digging into you. Knives and the suspicion in his tone. 
You don’t want to do this to him. Not after all that you’ve gone through together. 
“Right.” Your feet are moving before he is, planted into the floor and pushing off through the small pinches of electricity in the nerves. Pushing out a hard laugh, you try to send him a light smile. “Did you tell them to be ready to get their arses beat?” 
Simon looks down at you as he walks beside your form in large steps; arms swinging. “Haven’t seen ‘em yet. Waiting for you.” 
If it were possible to shrivel up from guilt, you’d be nothing but bones.
“O-oh,” you huff, but it sounds like all of the air has been expelled from your lungs. “You didn’t have to do that, y’know.”
Simon grunts, accent grating as he stares ahead. “Wanted to.” 
“Good. That’s nice.” You feel like screaming. “Thank you.”
It’s nearly instantaneous how fast his eyes go dark with concern. “You sure that head of yours is on straight, Trick?”
You push open the doors outside and wonder if you even have the ability to answer him; out of everyone, you can’t lie to Simon.
“No,” your lips admit quietly, self-degrading in its own right. 
A hand grabs you by the wrist and before you can slip out, you’re being pulled back into the building and pushed into a side room. 
“Hey!” You shout, eyes flashing as the door is shut behind you. You’re released and the light is immediately turned on. “Simon, what the hell are you doing?” 
“Enough,” he levels, and your arms are clasped so you’re facing his chest, looking up into his serious and hard gaze. “Fuckin’ speak to me.” 
You’re surprised at how insistent he is about this. 
“I’m not telling you anything,” you speak through stutters and he growls in his throat. His hands are like motel lava even under his gloves and above your skin—burning like a brand.
“What happened in that meeting room, Trick?”
“It’s classified,” you say, harder than intended, spitting the words with a hint of desperation. If not for your own safety, then for his, but you know that if he keeps asking then you’ll tell him the truth. 
They were going to stage your death, and they won’t be making it pretty. 
“Fuck classified,” he leans in closer, curling over you. “You’re acting like someone’s bloody taking you hostage.”
“Simon! It’s not—”
“Cut the bullshit!” You growl and try to shove away from him, struggling with glaring eyes that go sharp with the onset of tears. “Somethings got you worried and I wanna know what it is.”
Simon wasn’t the greatest at articulation, but neither were you. 
You knew he was trying to tell you he was concerned. The man was holding you tight, but not hurting you; his face close and his shoulders wide. Along your face his eyes were darting, as if he could peel back your skin and make you explain what Price had told you. 
The Captain had given the Lieutenant a look as he’d seen him waiting for you but had said nothing. That alone had tipped Ghost off to something being wrong. 
But you weren’t having it.
Yanking out of Simon’s hands, you shake your head and put on your worst glare—meeting muddy brown and huffing. 
“Mind your own business, Riley. It’s for your own good.” The man blinks in mute shock, fingers in the air twitching before they fall to his sides.
You speed-walk out of the room before he can speak, lips slightly parted at your strange behavior. 
For his own good? What in the hell did that mean? 
Simon’s jaw clenches, a grunt in his chest as he aggressively rolls his wrist. He turns to follow after. The both of you don’t talk for the rest of the day.
Your body shakes along with the helo as it takes off, carrying you away from the scene of gunfire down below. In your earpiece, you hear the loud calls and yelling from your friends. Gaz is calling out to Price to give him permission to move up; the Captain too busy grappling Soap to the ground. 
Ghost is taking cover behind a wall, but he’s not quiet. 
“Trick’s in the damn building!” 
No, I’m not, you want to flick on the line and tell him. Over the three days before this operation you'd barely spoken—in fact, you’d been avoiding all of them fervently by the mass amount of guilt in your stomach. 
In the nights, you hadn’t even slept, and now you’re sure it’ll take even longer too.
Their forms become tinier, and you grasp the roof’s handle as the helo rises farther and farther. 
“Price!” Simon barks. “We have to get her—”
“There’s no time!” John responds, grunting and forcing Johnny down as he spits curses and tries to call your name over the comms. You flinch violently, looking away for a moment. “We’re surrounded!”
“I can get through!” Bullets wiz through the comms, and you can nearly imagine you are down there—trapped in the house down the way after being shot and injured by hosties. But you’d never been in that house. Never been alone down the way for recon. 
You’d been at the second exfil point. Price knew it. Laswell knew it. 
But Simon had not. 
“Negative, Ghost! Keep where you are, we can get to her later. We need to—” The building you were supposed to be in explodes in a fiery wreck; a great bloom cloud going into the air as the helo shakes from the after-blast. 
You have to turn your face away, shielding your eyes. The pilot calls to see if you’re alright, but you don’t answer. All you can hear is the screams.
“Trick!”
“Simon, get back into bloody cover!” 
“Fucking Hell! Trick, answer me!” It gets too much—the bareness of his panic for you. The panting breath; the running stomp of feet.
You rip the connection from the radio on your vest and place a hand over your mouth, breathing as if you had really been in an inferno like a piece of fodder. 
Simon had already been through so much in his life, and doing this to him as well as the task force was the definition of betrayal of the loyalty you’d cultivated.
Of the love.
Because you did love him—even if you’d never say it to each other. If he found out about what you did, which he would eventually, in one way or another, he’d hate you for the rest of his life. So perhaps you were mourning, as you stare below as the helicopter takes you higher and higher up. Farther away from him. You were mourning what you had, because you knew it would never be the same. 
Simon Riley would never trust you again, and all you had to blame was yourself. 
The tiny tears dribble out of you and fall all the way down to the ground, where the man still screams for you to answer him; John barks orders with a sheen of panic in his eyes from the bare-bones ferality of the Lieutenant. Brown eyes blazed and cities burned in his pupils. 
John had underestimated the bond that the two of you shared. 
And he just might pay the price for it.
Getting through selection was far easier than getting through SAS training, Vito Berto seemed to only want mercenaries that had the faintest hint of the ability to hold a smuggled weapon. It made sense because if the people he was planning to send in were well-trained, it would be easier to trace to him—ability equaled a higher level of intelligence. Planning. Resources. 
To fit in, you made sure to miss a few of your shots, even if it made your instinctual perfectionism rise. John would have torn you a new one if you’d missed this many during your selection all those years back. Probably would have asked how a Muppet like you had gotten this far with shite aim like that.
But Berto ate it up like Sunday dinner. Gave you the nickname Cross, actually. Like the crosshair of a scope.
It was safe to say you despised him. 
But the days grew longer and the nights short with all of your running around. You’d found out that your Captain’s timeline was incorrect—the attack wasn’t in three months, it was in two. And while Berto was cocky, he wasn’t reckless. 
He somehow knew there was a breach in the ranks; you could see it by how he looked over the squads in the underground bunker, all of you hidden under rock and stone like prisoners. The man would sneer, eyes filtering back and forth from the perch. 
Sometimes you had to stop yourself from simply taking the shot presented in front of you and deal with the consequences afterward.
Price had been clear: all of the people gathered here needed to be taken care of quickly and quietly—if you snapped, the rest would disappear like roaches. Alive and biding time.
During those two months, the thoughts of Simon wouldn’t leave you. 
Moments that seeped in behind closed eyelids after you’d slunk back into bed, the USBs full of vital intel stashed into the lining of your uniform in a small hidden pocket. His twitching smile and those deep scars along his face; the ones that would never go away. 
In those moments you wondered what it would be like if you had told him how much you cared for his quiet company or his dark humor. The way he would level a hand on the small of your back off duty at the bars as a way to silently shield you from the stares from patrons. 
You’d never be able to tell him now. 
Vito “The Tanner” Berto knew of a leak, and when you came back to the bunker after sending out the multiple USB sticks, the physical files, and the first-hand accounts of what was going on—eager for just a little more to make this betrayal worth it…he was waiting. 
You could only fight off so many others, no matter how subpar the training on their part, before sheer mass overtook ability. Like a house of cards with a bowling ball, you were shoved to the ground surrounded by multiple dead bodies of those you’d taken down with you—writhing and hissing as if a feral animal. 
Restraints were leveled with your wrists; your head pulled back so your nose faced the ceiling. You only stopped struggling when the chilled barrel of a pistol was set under your chin.
Breath stilling, it was hard to understand how, even then, all that was in the front of your mind was Simon. Simon and his brown eyes. Simon and his screams when that building went up in fire and smoke.
“Trick!”
You could still hear the exact pitch and rhythm like it was yesterday.
“Cross,” Berto mutters, gun heavy as it digs into your flesh. Men pant and grapple to keep you back as you sneer and jerk your arms. “I should have known it would be you.” 
“Well,” you growl, teeth bared, “obviously you didn’t.”
A slow smirk runs on his lips. 
“No, but I’ll have to rectify this. I can’t have you getting in the way.” You can only hope that the intel gets out before the end of the second month—if not, then all of this was for nothing. 
Why couldn’t you have left when you had the chance?
“Fucking Hell! Trick, answer me!”
He was why. 
Simon—the source of all of your problems and the only person who could fix them besides yourself. It’s a sick joke really. 
Vito grabs your chin and you huff out a swift breath, heart skipping beats as he burrows his digits tightly into your skin; hard enough to leave marks. He sighs and clicks his tongue and you have to keep back a whimper as his nails create crescents along your jaw. 
“You won’t tell me anything, will you, then?”
“Negative,” you spit, heated. 
He scoffs. “Of course.” 
Berto throws your head back as you try to snap out and bite at his hand, rabid, but the man’s already gone and the mercenaries behind you yank you back like a dog on a leash. Your knees slide along the floor and you rage trying to turn around before the others are forced to shove your face into the ground. There is a distinctive snapping in your nose bridge as the concrete comes up to meet you; the tears come instinctually after—unable to be stopped as you yell in pain. 
Blood floods your nostrils and mouth, making you cough as Vito’s voice echoes in your ringing ears. 
“Let me get my knives.” 
They had you chained in some damp back room, the corners riddled with mold spores and the air heavy with condensation. You were tied to the ceiling—feet dangling uselessly below you and the tips of your boots dragging across the floor with a quiet scrape and a creak of metal. 
Above you, on the hook, the chains were tied so ruthlessly that you’d lost circulation to your arms entirely, nothing but an electric buzzing far inside of your bones. Akin to the static of a TV screen in between connections. Your clothes had been shredded by blades—long sections of your flesh underneath, cut away. 
Blood stains most, if not all, of the floor. It drips from your nose; it falls like rain to pool at your feet in rippling crimson. 
Simon had been your partner during required interrogation training and he was far better at it than you. The man could go for hours through the mental strain that was leveled out by other soldiers on him; stoic and silent. It was the way his eyes would blank that told you he could live through far worse—that he already had. You’d had your fair share as well, but never before had you felt as hopeless as this. 
There was a slim chance that anyone would come for you here. Laswell and Price would carry the guilt of it, but you didn’t want them to. 
The blood slips over your lips, and the taste of copper makes you gag; spitting out saliva from your lips. 
It was half your choice, after all. 
You try to slip into a happy memory as the lights fade in and out, the footsteps and mutterings outside the door of little interest anymore.
ironic, that the man with the mask of a dead person brought you comfort when so little could. 
You never got to tell him how much you loved him. A thin smile comes across your lips. 
“Shouldn’t be out here this late,” the man utters as you lay out in the field, arms and legs splayed and twitching when the long grass brushes against them. “Past curfew.”
“Like you aren't out here with me?” You raise an eyebrow, looking up at the stars now that the large base lights have been dimmed. The air is cold, and the breeze makes you shudder through a chill. But you don’t wipe that smile from your lips. “Bit hypocritical, Simon.”
You hear a low grunt. 
“Out ‘ere because you weren’t answering your damn door.” A shadow slips to your side, and the man settles down with a huff on his lips. Simon retired his combat mask for a simple balaclava instead, and he sighed long as he settled his arm on the bent form of his right leg. 
You blink over at him, raising a brow. 
“Looking for me, Ghosty?” 
“Bloody hell, Trick.” You chuckle, shifting your arms to rest on your chest as you look back at the stars far above. 
“Oh, it’s alright, Big Guy.” The man shakes his head. “I won’t tell anyone you’re going soft for me.” 
“I’m not.”
“You definitely are.”
“Trick, I’m tellin’ you to—”
“Shh!” You wave a hand in his direction, silencing him and making him blink at you in deep annoyance and confusion. Ghost’s eyes were narrowed, the black of his face paint gone and smelling like standard issue body wash. 
He must have gotten out of the shower and come to see if you were still awake before making his way outside when you never answered the door. Funny how he knew where you would be.
“Fucking what, then?” He growls, shoulders wide.
You place a finger to your ear, shifting so you’re sitting up on one elbow and facing Simon. On your face, a wide smile lingers, but on his, the dark brows narrow with knowledge of a deceitful event incoming. “Listen.” 
A silence falls, Simon’s ears twitching for something in the long grass or across the field. Nothing. Nothing but the breeze and the way your face glowed as you watched him, eyes glinting with amusement. 
After a long minute or two, he looks at you with utter bewilderment. You lean in closer, poking a finger into his bicep.
“Can you hear it, Simon?” You’re one of the few he lets call him that, though never in public.
He glares. “No.”
You flutter your digits in the air, giggles trapped in your mouth. A whisper hits the Lieutenant’s ears. “Silence.”
“Bugger off,” he hisses as you reel back and belt out laughter, holding your sides and lightly curling into yourself. “You’re worse than Johnny. Jesus.”
“Aww, c’mon!” You let your laughter die down to chuckles, sanctity of night broken, but not so between the two individuals who look at each other with brimming affection none will name. 
“You’re the one that came to find me, remember?” Your tease makes Ghost roll his eyes, looking away across the open area with its wave-like grasses.
“You’re right, then, I did,” Simon grunts, his hand coming up to rub his neck. “Mistake on my part.”
“Jerk,” a soft slap is leveled to his arm and he chuckles deeply. “But you can’t fool me, Ghosty. I know you’ll always come lookin’ for me—I’m too important to you to lose.”
“Keep kiddin’ yourself, Trickster.” He doesn’t say how he would agree with the statement, it was true after all. “I won’t be dragged into your bloody messes.”
He wouldn’t leave you behind to drown in them, even if it was as simple as you sneaking out of your bunk to watch the stars. 
You’d both known each other too long for that.
You smile over at him as he sighs before slipping off his mask, itching at his stubble with hard fingers. The air settles. No comment about it entering in on the see-through waves—there didn’t need to be one. 
“Mhm,” you hum, beaming. “You keep thinking that, Big Guy.”
“Trick!” Your memory shifts, and you sit up immediately. You’d thought you’d just heard…
Eyes dart out over the field, jumping back and forth rapidly. You look to the side, but Simon is gone entirely.
“Simon?” Heart beating, you stand fully up and turn in a fast circle, confusion and fear infecting your mind.
“Trick!” Pain sparks in your body, and you hiss and grab at your clothes. You blink so fast that you half-believe the world is ending.
“S-Simon?!” What was happening? What was hurting so bad? Where did Simon go?
“Trick, fucking wake up!”
Your eyes snap open and you instantaneously feel the burning pain inside of your ribs. 
The ground is underneath you, hard and wet from your own blood as you yowl and cough, air entering your lungs in quick bursts. 
Hands encase your cheeks, shaking your head—keeping you present. 
A skeletal mask littered with droplets of human fluid stares down at you, and behind it, panicked brown eyes slash through your psyche in the small moment between agony and confusion. 
Simon?
“Holy hell.” It’s that same Manchester accent. The same scrape of vocal cords. “Alright, Sweetheart. Keep those eyes open—keep ‘em on me, yeah?” 
What was going on? You try to open your mouth to say something but all of it is lead. Were your ribs broken? How? And why was Simon’s bottom covering pushed up to his nose; his lips stained with blood? 
The man frantically goes to press into his radio.
“This is Bravo 0-7,” he breathes, and you whimper as your throat gets clogged with congealed saliva and blood. You cough violently, gagging, and Ghost quickly turns you on your side to help you expel it. His hand is hard on your shoulder. 
“I say again, this is Bravo 0-7!” Those browns never leave you, shocked and serious. “Price, I’ve got ‘er. It’s not good; had to revive but I don’t know how long she’s got.”
Revive? You’re spacing in and out, limp, and trying to breathe. 
Simon tears open his medical pouch and begins wrapping tourniquets—packing the wounds with gauze until you can get proper medical treatment on the helo back to base. 
“Bloody…” he trails, Price barking an order over the connection to bring you out; the firefight was moving to the East to give him an opening to sneak back out. “C’mon, Trick.”
Everything swims; you want to go back to that field—those stars. 
Simon was here? Truly? The thought was hard to understand in your state. 
“S-Sim—” Your voice gurgles, and you can’t feel your legs. You had to tell him. Tell him the good and the bad; all of it.
“Don’t talk,” he growls, moving you as your body seizes in a state of static shock. “I’m getting you out of ‘ere.” You’re lifted up in one grand movement, Simon grunting as he shifts you carefully into a bridal hold. “Then you’re going to explain this to me when you’re squared. Won’t take no for an answer.” 
You could feel the anger sizzling off of him even half-conscious. The mixing emotions that convulsed into a mess of adrenaline and desperation. Forcing your eyes to stay open, you blink up at him as he glances down at you at the same time, just before he exits the door he had broken down. 
The visible skin of his lips and chin tighten; going down with the twitch of with a serious frown. Something flutters behind his eyes as he stares before glancing away and clearing his throat. 
“Eyes on me, Trickster. Don’t you dare close ‘em.” You grimace as he begins jogging, heavy boots echoing along the empty corridor as the sounds of gunfire and pandemonium sound off from the other side of the bunker. 
It was hard to push back the black at the sides of your vision; already it was seeping back in. Ghost holds you tight, unwilling to even let you slip an inch from his grip as the lights above swirl, brightening and dimming. 
“Oi!” You’re jostled, and you snap back to it, tensing as your wounds flex and pull. Simon glares. “What’d I just say?”
Your weakly poisoned grimace makes his lips twitch up. 
“Good.” 
There’s the sudden flick of a safety being clicked off, and the Lieutenant halts in a jerking of feet and a ruffle of canvas.
“I’ve heard about a Ghost making his rounds, hm?” Berto stands at the end of the hall, pistol held in front of him. “I saw an apparition disappearing to find one of its own. No worries. She’ll be a ghost, too, soon enough. Perhaps I’ll have to put you both to rest together.” 
The voice makes you go panicked, remembering the tear of flesh and the sharp blades slicing your skin away, chunks that peeled, and the long stripes of flexible tendons. Your lungs fight for breath, your head weakly slapping into Simon’s neck after an attempt to move your body. Limbs shake and battle nerves; the fabric of your brain.
Your blood stains the man’s gear all the way down the front. It’s dripping to the floor, down his arms and off his elbows. You’re bathing him in it—a full-body baptism of betrayal. 
“Berto,” Ghost says, accent casual despite the gun leveled at him. The name is drawn out. “Apologies, but I’m taking back what’s mine.” He tilts his head. “Scratch that, I’m not apologizing for getting back on a Bastard like you, eh? Pity I can’t hang you up like a hog, I’m proper good with a blade too, but as you can see, I’m on a crunch.” 
Vito’s face goes confused, skin scrunching. “What—”
The bang of a bullet being discharged echoes down the way. The clatter of a great expulsion of air from lungs. Stumbling. Gargles. 
The slam of a body to the ground. 
Smoke spreads up from under the clutch of your knees, where Ghost holds the abyssal body of an M19 forward, his finger lightly on the trigger before he shifts it back in well-practiced discipline. 
“Slag,” he spits. 
Simon hikes you farther into him, lending over his available body heat as you shiver. He presses his face into the top of your head, sighing in relief before starting his pace again. The man’s lips brush your flesh as your lids flutter. 
“Still with me?” You whine into his neck, fingers twitching. “I know it hurts, Love. I know. Easy with it.” 
It didn’t just hurt, it burned. Buried like the nine layers of Hell. 
He keeps whispering to you, slinking around corners and stepping into shadows. By the time he makes it outside with you, the chill of the air on the bottom of his face he didn’t even bother to re-cover, you’re tapering on the edge of oblivion again. 
Teetering like a porcelain doll on the end of the high shelf. 
“Bravo 0-6, leaving the bunker now, I need that MedEvac prepped and ready to go,” Simon speaks quickly, not wasting a single instant. 
John’s voice wafts through. “Copy, 0-7. Helo is comin’ in, be ready it’s going to get hot!” 
“Affirm. Keep it frosty down ‘ere.” There’s a low chuckle and the swift wizz of bullets. 
“Get our Trickster back in one piece, Ghost.” Simon hears the buzzing of helicopter blades in the night, a slick form descending from the dark clouds not moments later. He turns away from the flurry of air, walking hurriedly backward so the air doesn’t aggravate you. 
“Trick,” Ghost calls to you above the noise, hearing the hurried feet of medics coming out to take you from him. Your face is scrunched and you burrow into him. “I’m handing you over!” 
You try to open your eyes enough to convey your unease at that. You have to tell him. You have to explain why you had to do it. The guilt is eating you; gnawing with red teeth and gripping with devil’s claws. You have to explain that you love him even if he hates you now. 
Medics grapple you away, and you are in pain, lips peeling back to gasp sharply, thrashing. 
No!
“Fuck,” Ghost growls, pulling you away from the men as they ask him what in the bloody hell he’s doing. He doesn’t even know—all he knows is that he’s pissed at you for what you did, but never in a million years did that mean he wanted to see you in pain. 
Simon can’t lie, when he was told you were alive, the universe had held its breath. A miracle. A ruse. But alive. Alive and trapped. 
“Stop it!” He yells, caging you into him. “I’m here! I’m right here, Trickster!” 
You’re already too gone for it, not recognizing the metal of the helo as you’re settled on your back, the loud slam of the door. Fingers pull and prob as you hiss and snap, suffocating. 
Ghost holds down your shoulders, his eyes right above yours—but you’re not looking. The helo takes off
“Bloody hell,” Simon yells. “Look at me!” 
You don’t know what compels you to do so, but your eyes open just the slightest bit wider. Brown melts into your pupils, taking you in and reminding you of chilled summer nights. Simon. You pant but stop struggling. 
The medics jump into action, ripping away the remains of your shirt and pants so they can get to the wounds; assess the damage done. 
“That’s it,” Simon sighs long, swallowing. “That’s a girl. There we go, Sunshine.” 
You blink, face peeled as everything swirls far more aggressively this time. 
“Listen to me, Trick. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, you understand. You said I’d always find you, yeah?” Hands grab your cheeks. “Well, I fucking did, eh? I found you. We’re gonna fix you up, Sweetheart. It’ll all be gone by morning.” You stutter down a breath, ragged throat stretching.
“Let ‘em fix you up—”
“I love you.” 
It all fades to black, but all you remember is the sweep of horror that spreads behind the man’s eyes.
“You went back,” Price’s arms are crossed, and he stares at you as your fingers play with the sheets of the hospital bed. “Why?”
You sigh and rub at your face.
“Trick.”
“I felt like I needed to,” you give away, twitching your fingers out in an expression of nonchalantness. “I felt…” Your voice trailed off into a growl. “Bad.”
“Feelings aren’t a part of this, Trickster, you bloody know that,” John hisses, leaning his head closer as you glare silently. “If you’d left when you could, none of this would have fucking happened.” 
“I feel bad, Price!” You break, snapping. “I fucking know! But I-I thought if I just got a bit more intel, then this would have been worth it.” Taking a deep breath you shake your head and rub at your face, all of the bandages and stitches pulling tight. “It’s eating at me. I can’t…I can’t just act like what I lied about can be forgotten.” 
You shrug as the man listens silently, monitors beeping and the small buzz of the overhead lights. 
“Soap barely looks at me—Gaz gave me that fucking pity smile and it makes me want to scream.”
“They’ll get over it.” The Captain repeats what he said months prior firmly. “They know the Op was top priority, they’ll grow up and be back to fucking around in days.”
You scoff, muttering in a dejected tone. “He won’t.”
John is still, fixing his feet from under him as he rolls his nose and looks away slowly. 
Simon hadn’t come to visit once in the time you’d been here in the ward—four days. That fact alone makes you restless. You don’t remember what you said to him, if you said anything. But you knew that he wasn’t going to be going out of his way to be near you anymore. 
You’d taken a grenade to the relationship you’d built. Toy building blocks are scattered. 
“Simon’s…Simon,” Price ends on. You groan and itch at the IV in your hand. “He cares about you more than anyone, yeah? He just needs time. Wasn’t himself after the set-up.”
“I’ve been told,” Gaz had informed you about the Lieutenant's self-isolation after your ‘death’. The snappy orders—deathly glares. He’d gone back to the ruthless man he was in the field and instead of being directed at his enemies, it was directed at them.
Kyle explained how he’d argued with Price about how he could have gotten to you, before abruptly falling silent and stalking away as if a flip had been switched. Snake eyes and clenched fists. 
They’d heard him in the gym late at night, reaming on the punching bags. They didn’t think he slept more than three hours per day if the red lines in his eyes were anything to go by.
And then they were told that you were alive but captured, and he’d gotten worse.
You’d nearly started sobbing when the Sergeant had told you all of that.
“I betrayed his trust, Price,” you level. “I…I never wanted to do that to him. Ever. Not Simon.”
A shadow passes by the door just as the Captain grunts. “That’s the job.”
“That’s not the job I signed up for when I got into this. We don’t lie to our own.”
“‘We get dirty, the world—’” You cut him off.
“Yeah, yeah, ‘stays clean’.” Your eyes level with his. “I can do the dirty work, John, you know that. Infiltration and undercover work is what I’m good at.” The man nods slightly. “But if you ask me to betray One-Four-One’s trust again, I’m out.”
Blue eyes blink in shock, but you don’t let him speak.
“Find someone else to get fake blown up in a building. I can’t get his fucking screams out of my head.” John watches you silently, eyes narrowed. 
You meet that gaze head-on, not backing down from this.
The Captain shakes his head a minute later. “Bloody made for each other,” he mutters under his breath, grunting. Another shadow slips past going the opposite direction, probably a nurse.
Without another word John turns and exits the room, tossing a hand behind his head casually in a way to say goodbye.
You huff and roll your eyes, heat on your cheeks. 
The day wains, and you let the nurses come in to do their checkups and replace the IV. As the curtains are pulled back into place, supper sits heavy in your stomach. 
You wanted to see Simon. 
You knew it wouldn’t go well, and wouldn’t be the goody-goody outcome you prayed for…but you felt wrong without apologizing in person. It went against your morals, and already those were incredibly skewed. Maybe he’d yell, or even ignore you as if you weren’t there.
Simon wasn’t above not speaking to people he didn’t like.
You had to try.
When all was dark, you shuffled out of the hospital bed and fought the weakness of your legs. Shaking like a leaf, you walked around with only your tied gown, unapologetic of the slit down the back showing flashes of your bra and underwear. 
It wouldn’t be anything the Lieutenant hadn’t seen before.
Walking through the silence, you sigh and stand outside of his door; dread in your heart and seeping from the pulled stitches of your wounds. Your bare feet on the tile make you shiver. 
Lifting up a fist, you hesitate. 
Your hand hovers over the wood, sliding forward before you pull it back to you. Closing your eyes tight, you clench your jaw once and take a deep breath.
Knock-knock-knock. Knock-knock.
The sequence was your call sign. If you knocked like that, he would know it was you—whereas Simon's own was just a single slam of the side of his fist.
The only real problem now was that he wasn’t answering.
You stare dumbly at the barrier, blinking like a fool. It takes you longer than you’d like to admit to understand the realization that he wasn’t ignoring you—he just wasn’t in his room. 
Taking a step back, you rub the back of your neck in exasperation and hurry to the nearest exit.
“Of course,” you breathe. You know exactly where he is at a time like this.
The field holds a standing shadow, a ghost of issued fatigues with a thick jacket against the chill that leaves you shivering. Simon stares out over the training grounds with his hands in his pockets, balaclava pulled all the way down to hide him from you. 
You come to a slow halt behind him and stare. 
It’s not long before the man gunts, turning his head back from over his shoulder to look at you blankly. He knew you were there.
The eye contact stays for a long, long while—until you’re hypnotized in the shades of brown and amber and the large build that seems to broaden because of your appearance.
“I’m here to apologize.” You say it breathlessly. “I’m not asking you to hear me out, but I have to let you know I regret doing it. Price said that it was time-sensitive and I—”
Stopping yourself, you look away. It sounded too much like an excuse, you hissed to yourself. At the end of the day, it was still your acceptance that pushed the pawn forward. 
“I’m sorry, Simon,” you breathe. “I betrayed your trust.”
His eyes are piercing you, but you still can’t look at him. The man slightly turns your way. His voice was monotone and grunting out like a dog.
“You think I couldn’t handle it?” Your heart starts, and you’re shaking your head instantly.
“No.” You explain quickly—honestly. “It’s that…I didn’t want you to.” 
You hear his lips take in a quiet breath. Simon rolls his shoulders before looking away from you. Nothing could have prepared you for what came next.
“You said you loved me.” Your body freezes, jaw going slack as your face drops. You don’t speak, mute as if the air in your lungs has been stolen.
You had done…what?
All of your tricks couldn’t get you out of this one.
“I,” you force a fake laugh, hands beginning to shake. “I, what? No, I’m sure that’s not what I said. A-are you sure it wasn’t, like, an ‘I appreciate you’ or maybe a…a,” your voice catches. “A whole ‘I’m fond of you’ sort of thing…? Hm?”
Simon takes a step forward and you take one back. This was worse than torture, you decided. The pain in your pulling stitches and re-set nose was welcome here.
“Trick,” Ghost utters, and you stare hard at his neck, humming. “Stop talking.”
“Copy,” you whisper quickly, shoulders falling. 
He’s so close you can feel his body heat melting into you, and you want nothing more than to touch him. Simon’s hand comes up to your chin, and he angles it up as you stop breathing, lips parted.
“I heard you in the med ward talkin’ to Price. Was outside the door the ‘ole time.” The shadow. 
He tilts your head to the side to stare at the medical tape over the slashes in your skin. The scars won’t bother you—you had plenty of others to show as well. But Simon was…studying you. Assessing. 
His eyes blink slowly with those long pale lashes, and they slide up to you as he leans in close to your ear. Still, you stand comatose.
“You put me through a fucking heap ‘o hurt, Love.” You stare over his shoulder, not speaking, not moving. 
Simon leans back and lets go of your chin, brushing a finger over your nose and the puffy skin there.
“Never do that again.” It’s final, how he says it. But the layers of depth are plain to hear. Simon speaks low and even—gaze trapping yours like a curse. 
You know he won’t talk about the things you’ve heard. The aggression or the late-night gym trips. You’ve known him for years, and know his brain like the back of your hand.
Shivering, you nod once, content with not answering verbally to break the sanctity of the moment. Seeing Simon like this made you ease your fears. You clear your throat to push back the stuffiness.
“Thought you held grudges, Big Guy?” Nearly not heard, you mutter and pick at where the IV needle is supposed to be. 
A hand catches yours and stops you from making it bleed.
“Do,” Ghost grumbles, turning your hand over and moving his face closer until you feel his breath. “Just not with my Bird.” 
His balaclava is suddenly up to his nose, and those lips that had been covered in your blood previously situated themselves perfectly to yours. 
You gasp, arm outstretched beside you in shock. 
You’d kissed him before, but this felt different. More intimate. Simon’s arms slip around your waist, and you retaliate by locking your shaking arms behind his back, feeling the gentle passes of his lips. 
Mouth to mouth, you breathe each other in as if grasping for the other’s soul in desperation. A desperation that tells you how much the beast of a man around you was terrified of your death and the body he had to carry into the helo—of the lengths he would go to stave death from touching your tender flesh. 
No, only he was allowed to do that, and he was a reaper in his own right.
A small death that infected you at every breath puffing into your mouth, every whine and whimper he could draw like water to swallow down as ambrosia. Nectar of the Gods, and it was right there in his arms. Back. Alive. 
To be alive in the summer field of this old military base was to accept that death, and into it, hope that the few moments you had together truly made a difference. 
Simon would hold you there—and when that was done, wrap you in his jacket and carry your battered body back inside; watching your swollen lips and the wide eyes as they gaze back at him. 
Because he could hate you all he wanted for this, for the lies, for the way you made him care…but the both of you would still be alive to do so.
He guessed that was all that mattered.
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lvlyghost · 9 months
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I love your stories so much I can't 😫😍😍❤️
Could you maybe write a angst to fluff ghost x reader story where the reader gets injured badly while ghost is on her side the whole time in the hospital while she is unconscious and he's having breakdowns and anxiety and all really angsty stuff and when she wakes up she comforts him and all is fluffy and maybe a bit smutty 🤭
No More Stars Left to Count
PAIRINGS: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader
SUMMARY: Few things made Simon break down. Almost losing his girl takes a toll on him.
WORD COUNT: 1.6k
TW: Smut! MDNI! Angst, hurt, comfort. Injuries. Panic attacks. Grammar mistakes just the usual... Do not read if you're under 18.
A/N: I'm actually quite happy with this one🥹🩷 Enjoy Anon! This is my first time posting smut and in another language so sorry in advance if there are mistakes! Corrections are appreciated ✨🐝
Masterlist✨
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Simon's head rests on his left hand, his eyes bore into your fragile body. Several machines are attached to you, helping you breathe, pumping meds into your system. He doesn't deserve you by any means. He doesn't deserve your trust, your laughter, your body.
All he can think about— as his brown orbs can't find the strength to look away— is how miserably he had failed to protect his team. To protect you. It's been twelve days and you still don't show any signs of waking up; it wasn't abnormal for you to not wake up. The damage inflicted to your body had been great. Simon thought for a painful moment he had lost you for good. The woman he cared for. The woman he utterly loved.
He swallows hard.
There aren't many things that'd scare him. He's simply seen too much. But this? Was this truly his destiny? To lose everyone he loved? His family and now you?
He inhales sharply, his free hands traces your inert hand, tracing soft patterns on your pale skin littered with cuts and bruises. That very hand he adores to hold when you were together. He blinks, memories from your last night together flooding his brain as he sinks further down the chair, adjusting the hoodie over his head.
The night before leaving for the mission in Romania.
-
"No, wait look Simon! Give it to me!" You chuckle, under the covers, both of your bodies remain warm. It wasn't unusual that Simon couldn't sleep so he'd often come into your room and spend the night with you. "There." You pointed out. Your hand and his hand stretched out in front of you, slowly you touch his, spreading out your palms comparing hands. Your eyelashes flutter at the mere sight of his big calloused hand outsize yours, completely engulfing it. You splay out your fingers until they're intertwined.
His breath catches in his throat. He loved how small you were compared to him. He wanted to protect you from everything even from himself, but you had refused to leave him when he tried to push you away.
"Come here." He grabs your arm pining you down and under his gargantuan body. You squeal, laughing at the sudden change of position; Simon sets his body between your legs. Your arms rest on his sides, layers of muscle tensing under your touch. Tilting your head back, eyes meet the dark sky outside the window.
"Look at them." You mumble, Simon lays a kiss on your neck taking advantage. He loves the feeling of your steady pulse on his lips. "The stars are so bright tonight." He hums absentmindedly, hands coming to grip his blond locks.
There's a fire burning in your belly and the ache between your thighs when you feel the tent forming through his grey sweatpants.
"Need you, love." He grumbles. His hands undress your bottom half making you gasp.
"Simon..." soft pink lips kiss your body. Your chest, your stomach... until he's lost between your legs. Mouth lapping at your wetness. You squirm under his touch, it's intoxicating. It feels like you might combust. The fire running through your veins, the goosebumps on your sensitive flesh as you clench around nothing. Unable to resist it you grab him by the arms. "You know what I need." In the blink of an eye two bodies intertwined moving desperately chasing the sweetest end together. He murmurs soft encouraging words in your ear that sent shockwaves through your veins, Simon couldn't possibly be more deep inside you, hitting that sensitive spot that made you want to scream, nails digging on his back, surely leaving red marks that he would proudly show tomorrow.
The purple and orange that tinges the sky outside filters through the window, casting an ethereal display of colors around this room that hides away the few moments you get to spend with him as you finish together; feeling impossibly more in love with him.
"It's clearing already." You point out. Simon looks up from your eyes, albeit reluctant to miss the beautiful shade of your orbs. "No more stars left..."
He kisses your forehead, then bumps his nose against you before he finds your mouth.
"There'll be plenty more to count tomorrow, sweetheart. I promise."
But you're not counting them as he promised the night before. Instead he's shouting orders like an enraged man. Heart beating out of his chest, you were so close to the evac point with your squad. Five minutes ago he had squeezed your arm and kissed your temple before urging you to get in the land rover from the SAS. Only to watch it blow seconds later. His heart stopped and then the ringing in his eardrums.
It was an ambush.
And as the rest covered him he rushed to you.
The blood. Crimson blood all over the bodies. He knew what this meant.
"Sergeant!" He forces his body to move, dragging you by the straps of your combat vest to take cover behind one of the vehicles. He knows he shouldn't be moving you like that, but right now he can't think of anything else than getting you out of there... "Bloody fucking hell!" He roars.
What was that feeling, like his soul was being ripped apart...?
-
Releasing a shaky breath, Simon squeezes your hand once again careful not to hurt you. The IV in your hand too foreign. It's too much. The sight, the memories of the vehicle flying through the sky...
The pit in his stomach grows, a wave of nausea and uneasiness hitting him all of the sudden. Simon stands on wobbly legs, taking one last glance at you he steps out the ICU. Crouching down he yanks the balaclava from his face. Why was his chest so tight, and his vision filled with blackness? The incessant ring on his ears is real. Fucking real. It was supposed to be a nightmare... this thing pulling him down.
"Come back to me baby." He pleads in a hushed tone although he knows you can't hear him. Simon lifts his hands to find support on the wall in front of him. He breathes as much air as he can through his nose, tries to blink away the black dots.
"Lieutenant Riley?" A feminine voice wafts through the empty hallway reaching him. He holds out a shaky finger without even looking at her.
"Leave..." he warns.
"Sir? I...-" the nurse hesitates.
"Now!" He barks.
She scurries away but not before calling the doctors and the Captain to the med wing.
Simon stays there until his ragged breathing evens, he then goes back to your room, deep down he hopes—prays— that your eyes will open when you hear him. But you don't. He sits again on the couch where he's tried to sleep, tossing the mask away from him. His throat bobs, what's happening to him? It burns. The door creaks open revealing a concerned John who looks at him in disapproval.
"This isn't going to help anyone Simon." He scolds him.
"What do you want Price?"
"You need to sleep. And for... just for the love of God eat something son."
"Not until I know she'll be fine."
Price sighs closing the door behind him.
"She wouldn't want this." Even then, Price doesn't want to look at you. This had taken a toll on everyone. But Simon wasn't handling it well. Rubbing his eyes he scoffs. "Come on go get some rest I can stay."
"No." Both men stare at each other not wanting to back down. "I'm on leave you don't get to tell me what to do Price."
John crosses his arm.
"I'm worried Simon. I want her to be okay too. We all do."
Simon's jaw clenched, hands balling into fists. They don't really know. They don't know, can't comprehend the extent of his love for you.
"What if this was your girl? Would you leave her fucking side hm?"
A tense pause electrifies the air as the two glare at each other, oblivious to the other person whose eyes are tearing.
The beeping sound increases as your heart rate goes up. Two pair of eyes snap to the sound. Your hand tries to snatch the oxygen from your face, but Simon darts out with dread plastered all over his features. You faintly hear John calling the doctors.
"Easy, love. Easy..." he soothes you. Stopping your hands from moving. Your body is in too much pain, tears slip down your cheeks, once again Simon grits his teeth. If he could he'd take it all away. "Don't force yourself you're..." he trails off. "You're hurt."
It feels like you're body is being torn apart. The drugs are slowly leaving your system.
"What happened?" your croak out, throat dry and inflamed. He sits bringing the glass of water to your lips not before removing for a brief moment the oxygen mask. You take a small sip and thank him with a weak smile.
"Ambush." He explains. Hating that he can see the images all over again in the back of his mind. "Thought I lost you."
More tears well in your eyes, as weak as you feel you reach out your hands tracing his jawline and cheekbone. He closes his eyes, and finally breathes again, with you touching him he feels alive again. He wants nothing more than to go home with you.
"How many nights..."
"Twelve..."
The doctors rush in but before they drag him away you say:
"That's a lot of counting we've missed."
A press of his lips on your forehead, a silent promise to never let anything happen to you ever again. Even if it mean giving his own life for yours. He would do it any day. Better him than you.
"We've got the rest of our lives, love."
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kkvqwrites · 10 months
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Family
Word Count: 282
Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, gn!Reader
A/N: This is really short but the idea wouldn't leave me alone. I might flesh it out further later on - we'll see!
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“Why is the safe open?” 
You hear Simon’s voice carry down the hall from your shared bedroom where the safe was located. You were in the living room, folding laundry while your newest true crime show was on in the background.
“I’m sorry - I opened it to get our marriage certificate and my documents out so I wouldn’t forget them. I have to send them with the application for my name change. I must have forgotten to close it all the way.”
“Understood. Just please try and remember, yeah?”
You nodded. It was one of the very few things Simon was fussy about, and not arbitrarily. In addition to important documents such as birth certificates, it also held the firearm and ammunition that Simon kept in the house for home defense.
“I will, I’m sorry.”
“No worries, love.” He kissed the top of your head as he walked by you. “Name change, huh?”
“Well yeah,” you replied with a smile. “We’re married. I’m excited to be a Riley.”
You felt rather than saw his demeanor change, and stifled a sigh. Family was a touchy subject for Simon.
“Not much fun bein’ a Riley, love,” his voice was soft with both affection and distant sadness. “I’m the last one left anyhow.”
Smiling, you approached him where he stood waiting for the tea kettle to boil and wrapped your arms around him from behind. He didn’t tense up anymore, which was a small miracle in and of itself. He had finally grown comfortable enough to leave himself open to your affection, and you hoped to have many years to keep giving it to him now that you were a family.
“Not anymore you’re not.”
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loveindefinitely · 4 months
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༊*·˚ FOREVER WINTER (IF YOU GO) — task force 141 x reader
09 — I'M HIGHER THAN THE HOPES THAT YOU BROUGHT DOWN
featuring. simon 'ghost' riley + johnny 'soap' mactavish + kyle 'gaz' garrick + john 'bravo six' price + (non-endgame phillip graves)
warnings. nsfw, fem!reader, fmmmm, enemies to lovers, slow burn, polyamory, ghostsoap, pricegaz, alerudy, heavy angst, requited unrequited love, graphic violence
series masterlist. read on ao3. read on wattpad. fanfic playlist.
<- previous part | next part ->
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When you had taken down the organisation by Shepherd’s side, it was the beginning of everything.
The first time you had drawn someone else’s blood was with a rifle in your hand and a vengeance burning in your veins. A single order from your General – your only support – to kill anyone with the organisation’s uniform. Anyone who raised a scope to you.
It’s difficult, usually, to remember what had happened. 
Sometimes, in your deepest of sleeps, the nightmares of your past came to haunt you. Flashes of blood on your skin, corpses underneath your feet, the crackle of a radio sounding in an empty room.
A congratulations from your General.
Congratulations for seeking revenge, and executing it like a soldier well-trained. Another cog in the military’s rusting machine. A weapon for them, more than a human with free will and determination.
You’d thrown up, after it all.
Heaving, sweating, crying, the endless guilt of what you’d just done. Were you no better than them? Sure, they’d killed your mother, but you had just carried out the same in turn. Tenfold. They had families that they’d never report back to. Families that they’d never get to say goodbye to. Dinner left untouched.
Shepherd had pat your back – then, he’d been in service, active duty. You hadn’t known it, but taking down the organisation was his last mission.
You never even learnt the name of the organisation. Shepherd had said that it was better that way, to detach yourself, not get yourself muddled with the logistics of it all. You weren’t meant for that. You were meant for weaponry and death and destruction.
That night, when you laid awake in the small camp set-up just a few klicks out from the organisation's site, you determined that you wouldn’t take another’s life without certainty. Unless it was for defence.
That night, you’d known that you would ask to be trained for field medicine.
Oh, how naive you had been. Young, aching for a chance to get revenge, to get what you felt you deserved.
Ten days later, you met one Phillip Graves.
A day after that, he offered you a place within the beginning of his mercenary company.
Half an hour after you signed the contract, General Shepherd announced that he was no longer suitable for active duty.
How naive indeed.
*
You think, in the very back of your mind, with the smallest grip you have on thought, that you’ve been carried to safety by men more than you have in your life, these past few days.
In and out, your mind wavers, senses completely gone, consciousness an impossible thing.
Minutes, hours, days. You’re not sure. How does time even work? What is time? Are you alive? Is this death? Another third, universally unknown state, an in between?
These past few days, the utter mess your life has become, has it finally worn you out? Destroyed you from the inside, shrapnel embedded into your flesh? A direct hit, a ticking time bomb gone wrong? A suicide mission with no preparation, no warning, no hope?
If you could, you’d cry.
Let tears fall down your cheeks, crystalline and pure against your dirtied and sinful skin. A mocking of all things good and right and beautiful.
Oh to be beautiful. To be right. To be good.
Heaven would taste like fairy floss melting against your tongue, you think. Sweet and pink and soft. It would furl around your tongue, season your mouth with the feeling of cotton and freedom.
White.
White blinds every inch of your body, the darkness of your eyelids lit with the shade. Chemicals fill the air, a stagnant, all too damning smell. Beeping, too, a constant background noise as you slowly come to.
Hospital – or, at the very least, a Med Bay. It’s something quite familiar, but the feeling of being a patient in one is a very rare instance for you.
That feeling of blood, sticky against your face and arm, has gone. Instead, the itch of fabric and bandage replaces it, an IV drip attached to your inner arm an annoying sting. Your hair feels as if it’s been carefully spread over the pillow underneath your head, a blanket wrapped over your form.
If your spatial awareness is at all correct, you think you can sense a few other people in the room, too. Soft murmuring chimes in over the beeping, now, as you return to full consciousness.
“Can’t believe all three of ‘em are down.”
Gaz – that honey-esque, smooth voice instantly has you recognising the Sergeant. From where his voice is coming from, he seems to be sat beside your bed. 
“It’s not your fault, Kyle.”
Price. Captain. He sounds… softer than you’ve ever heard him. Lost, maybe, upset. Disappointed? It’s hard to place, his tone, but it seems almost forlorn.
“Had a whole fuckin’ team of Marines and we couldn’t make it to ‘im in time. If it wasn’t for her–”
“I know, Sergeant,” Price snaps, shutting down the younger man’s nervous, distressed rambling. A scrape of a chair sounds, the sound of pacing footfalls a moment later. “There wasn’t anything we could do – and it’s not like any of ‘em are dying, now are they?”
“Don’t act like this didn’t affect you either, Captain,” Gaz bites back in return, his chair, too, scraping against the linoleum floor. “I heard your yell clear as day.”
“I can and will write you up for insubordination, Garrick,” Price warns, stern and cold.
Gaz’s responding laugh is biting, grating. “No, you won’t, Price. Because if you do that, you’ll have to report the others too. You really wanna risk losing us all?”
“Don’t test me.”
“Thought you liked that about me, Cap.”
“Kyle –”
“Good morning to you, too.”
Both men turn, then, to look at you with wide eyes. With a small groan, you move to sit up, eyes burning with the sudden overhead lights. Your shoulder aches, your cheek, too, but not as badly as they had before.
“Be careful, don’t –” Gaz goes to say, moving towards you, before you show him your palm.
“I’m fine. I know my limits, Gaz,” you say, a small reprimand as you shift into a comfortable position. “I’ll be out of this bed within the hour if I can help it.”
“You dislocated your shoulder,” Price says, insistent, brows furrowed as he looks down at you, arms folded over his chest. “It’s in a wrap. You’re lucky, Colonel, that they could perform the surgery here.”
Your brows raise.
“Surgery? How long was I out?” You frantically ask, sitting up straighter, wincing when you bump your shoulder. Your mind races with theories, fear trickling down your spine like a cold vice. There was so much you had to do – had to investigate, now.
“Only about a day. You were under anaesthesia – and your body near shut down,” Gaz leans forward as he sits, elbows on his knees. “You were awake, under high-intensity stress, for nearly four days.”
Four days? Had it really been that long? What had only felt like a day – it had been four?
You must show your inner panic on your face, because Price takes a step closer, hand moving to rest comfortably on your shoulder. He has a calming, understanding tilt to his lips that you appreciate. His eyes examine your body, before his blue eyes meet yours.
“Graves is already planning his next movement,” he says, gruff and true. His hand squeezes. “We were playing checkers, seems like he wants to play chess.”
The beep of the machines sat beside your bed and the overall feeling of hospital and gauze and injury has you realising something. A flash in the back of your mind, a bell ringing for you like a dog on a leash.
“Where’s Soap and Ghost?”
Price and Gaz share a look, before Gaz flits a nervous grimace to you. “Ghost… refused to be treated unless he was put in the same room as Soap. Soap, is, well…”
“Get yer bloody hands off me, aye am fine, let me see ‘er–”
Soap’s voice carries down the hallway, the standard-issues curtains surrounding your small area doing nothing to block the sound. Your eyebrows shoot to your hairline, Gaz buries his face in his hands, and Price heaves a long-suffering sigh, muttering something under his breath about decorum.
“Sergeant, the doctor’s –”
“Tell Sarah tha’ aye can bloody well handle maself!”
A crashing noise follows the last statement, along with the sound of confused yelling, before the curtain surrounding you gets ripped open by none other than Soap MacTavish.
His grown-out faux-mohawk is messy, obviously having been laid on for a fair bit, his eyes wide and chest pounding in sweeping movements. Fist clenched in the scratchy fabric of the curtain, his frantic eyes focus on Price and Gaz, respectively, before landing on you. His shoulders loosen, and he lets go of the curtain as he trails down your form, analysing for any injuries or a single hair out of place.
“Sweetheart,” he breathes, sounding all too like that single nickname is a lifeline, “Yer alright.”
You softly shake your head, disbelieving and confused and shocked and. 
And maybe slightly grateful. Lucky, even, to have someone care for you enough to act like your very presence is their saviour. Like your blood is as worthy as their own, your lungs virtually theirs, too.
“I’m not the one that nearly fell to my death,” you exasperate, voice as soft and vulnerable as you’ve heard it. At the very least, the most open you’ve sounded since your mother was around. “Did you just kill one of the nurses to get here?”
Soap’s creeping smile turns into a full, toothy grin as he shakes his head. “Nah. That’d be Lt.”
“Fuckin’ hell,” Price mutters from beside you, along with Gaz’s choked off laugh. You can’t help your own private smirk.
“And here I was, thinking you were the dog, Soap,” you tease, except for the first time, it isn’t with the intention of goading. Of poking the beast. You’re… teasing just for fun. Because it feels natural and right and.
Oh.
Oh.
Soap scoffs. “Aye, ye did say that, didn’t ya? Ye haven’t seen a guard dog like Mr. Lt, lass,” He taunts, freckles dusting his nose, the hospital lights doing nothing to wash his tan skin out.
He says, as if your world hasn’t been flipped over, shaken about, and sat down on your shoulders like a snowglobe.
He says, as if everything is fine and normal and not cataclysmic.
“The nurse is fine.” 
Everyone, including Price, jolts where they are situated, eyes darting to where Ghost leans against the wall opposite your bed, picking at his nails.
He’s.
Unlike the balaclava, of which is all you’ve known of the bulky man, the only thing covering his features is a standard black medical mask, covering his mouth and nose. No ink stains the upper half of his face, either, and for the first time – you see his hair.
Dirty blond.
It oddly suits him, the shortly cut mess, the strands hanging over his forehead and ears. What strikes you is the lack of scars from the skin you can see, the unmarred skin, the softness of it. 
He’s pretty, in a rugged, unabashed way, and what a realisation that is.
With just a black compression shirt, sleeves cut to the mid-section of his upper arms, sleeves of talented ink cover his pale skin. A snake, intricately designed, covers his left, curving around the muscle. On his right, what looks to be a Greek god, its depth shadowed with blacks and greys.
“Good to see you in one piece, too, Lieutenant,” you say, and if it was at all possible, you’d swear that sparks shoot up your spine when his deep brown eyes catch onto yours. 
He raises an uncovered brow – pale and soft. “I meant what I said,” he threatens, a glint in his eye.
So, you suppose, not all has been forgiven. Your memories are shaky at best, but a few words stand out from your confrontation – kill, belonging, rank. A promise of death, but a vow of protection, too.
“What’re you talking about?” Gaz asks, looking between the two of you with a confused expression.
Neither you, nor Ghost, break eye contact as you simultaneously say; “Nothing, Gaz.”
Both Sergeants share a look, a cheeky one, the type that no one else in the room can decipher. You had seen the way that the two shared comments, winks, hits up the back of their heads. Joking and full of life, but with an unbreakable bond between them.
Yearning was becoming too familiar of a concept for you, you were finding.
“Laswell found a hit on some intel,” Price breaks the tension of the room, hands bracing on his knees as he looks to the four of you. A grim expression settles on his face when he looks to you. “It’s in the home of one of your Lieutenants.”
Your heart stutters in your chest as you swallow around a dry mouth. “What kind of intel?”
Everyone seems to collectively move in closer – Ghost’s hand rests at his belt, Soap’s at his back pocket, Gaz’s on the chain adorning his neck, a guitar pick attached to the gold.
“Intel on an ‘organisation’,” Price says. “A group of people wanting to overtake the military, one with a rising number of members.”
It’s as if you can feel nothing but the beat of your heart, the sensation of your fingers, the pain in your chest. The organisation. They were. You and Shepherd, you hadn’t eradicated them. Maybe stumped their growth, for a while, but you hadn’t.
You hadn’t realised they were still around. Growing, even, thriving.
The urge to just cry, pour out your emotions and weep is the strongest it’s been since your mother’s funeral. To just pull up the covers over your head and let tears fall down your cheeks, mourn in your misery, scream and claw at your skin and feel.
If only you could be that woman. Just for a day.
Instead, you reply.
“When are we going?”
Soap is, both surprisingly and unsurprisingly, the first one to speak up. His hands land on his hips as he studies you with a narrowed gaze. “Ye need to rest, lass. Yer broken.”
You throw your unwrapped hand in the air, waving in their general direction. “Have you guys seen yourselves? How the fuck you’re out of your gowns is almost crazier than you storming into here gunsablazing!”
“We didn’t get a concussion, a wound on our cheek, a dislocated bloody shoulder,” Ghost challenges, and your hackles rise in turn. When he gives, you return. The moon and the sun – the two of you, always taunting the other with a bone just to see if the other will bite.
“I saved your ass,” you seethe back, and with only a small wince, you pull the IV drip from your arm. If Price or Gaz debate that move, you ignore it. “And his. I don’t seem to recall hearing a single thank you, either.” You rise on shaky legs, pushing through the ache, pushing through the thunderstorm in your chest. You turn to Soap, “So don’t tell me what I can and can’t do,” you turn to Ghost, “And you don’t tell me what injuries deem me weaker! I’ve survived this long without the lot of you, and you don’t need to start babying me now.”
The silence in the room should dispel your nerves, but it only serves to increase them tenfold.
“We’ll scope out the area and decide what to do after. Five days ‘til we perform an undercover mission, I suspect.”
With a small tilt of your head, you look to Price, who rubs at his jaw, scratching at the hair lining it. He looks deep in thought – ever the calculating leader.
You sigh, quiet enough to not be heard. “Thank you, Captain.”
The wrapping around your set shoulder seems recently done, and when you move the ligament in small circles, the pain is nothing more than a dull ache. Your cheek, too, has been bandaged, but the sting is nothing if not prevalent.
Someone had spent the time putting socks on your feet, so you’re grateful for the small mercy as you move to the side table and swallow down mouthfuls of water from the plastic bottle placed there.
A thought comes to mind then.
“Where do I sleep? Or should I, um…” You trail off, because the idea of finding a shoddy motel in the middle of nowhere is definitely not a pleasant one.
Silence.
Slowly turning around, bottle in hand, your brows furrow when you see that none of them are meeting your eyes. Even Ghost, which is most definitely a first.
“Are you banishing me? Worried I have cooties?” You tease, bouncing on the soles of your feet. When no one responds again, you truly start to worry. “That was a joke,” you confirm, as if they didn’t know that.
“There’s no spare rooms,” Gaz blurts out, and your eyes go wide.
Of all the things that had briefly crossed your mind, a lack of space was most certainly not one of them. The consequences of that fact is the next thing to be brought to the forefront of your muddled ideas.
“Right,” Soap nods, as if this is a newly found concept. He gestures to Gaz, a smile creeping onto his face. “Thanks for offering to let ‘er crash with ya, lad.”
“I didn’t say that –” Gaz starts, expression slowly creeping into one of exasperation as Price interrupts with a slap to the Sergeant’s shoulder.
“Real generous, Garrick,” Price commends, moving to stand from his chair and leave the room. Ghost follows closely behind him, shooting a look between you and Kyle, simply saying, “Thanks, Sergeant.”
“You’ve got to be joking,” Gaz groans, head falling against the chair backing as he slides down the wood. Soap is quick to bound away from the room, too, with a cheerful, ‘See you tomorrow!’.
Gaz, eyes squeezed shut, seeming to try and melt into the floor, flutters one eye open to look at you where you stand. He grimaces, before slowly getting to his feet, too.
“Sorry for,” you bite at your lip, looking everywhere but at the man who seems to want to die more than host you, “Being a nuisance. Really, I’m fine sleeping at a motel, or whatever. Seriously.”
His hand grasps your chin, moving it so you’re forced to look up at him, his analysing gaze searching your own. The brown of his eyes glisten in the bright light, his features shining with it, and you’re hit with an overwhelming want to be cherished by this man. 
How bad had your concussion really been, to be making you think this way? You should really talk to Sarah about it, ask what kind of side effects came with one.
Oddly enough, you don’t think that this realisation is as sudden as you’re forcing yourself to believe.
“I didn’t,” Gaz begins, quickly looking away and setting his jaw before meeting your eyes once more, “I didn’t mean it like that. Just. Embarrassing, y’know?”
“How? Got a secret collection of pornos you don’t want me finding?” You quip back, a soft tilt to your lips.
He chuckles, a soft, girthy thing, shaking his head. “Nah. Nothin’ like that. Just… havin’ a girl in my room on such short notice is a bit scary. Gonna kill them all when I see ‘em tomorrow,” he mutters the last few words under his breath.
“I really am sorry,” you promise, “I didn’t realise that I’d have to impose on you like this.”
“You’re not imposing,” Gaz says, stern, thumb brushing along your jawline. “My bed should be big enough, anyways.”
Your cheeks heat at the implication, mouth opening and closing around nothing. “Your – Your bed? I can just sleep on the floor –”
“No,” he interrupts, shaking your head side to side softly. “If anything, I’ll crash on the floor if you’re uncomfortable. I won’t let you sleep on anything but my bed.”
“Such a gentleman,” you lean in, whispering the words over his lips, a smirk forming on your face as you pull back. Heading for the door, you miss the way his fingers raise to hover over his mouth, gaze flitting to you before he follows behind.
“Do I need to see Sarah? The only reason I was really in there was ‘cause I was passed out, right?” You ask, turning around as Gaz meets you, opening the door for you to walk through. His hand falls to the small of your back as he directs you down the hallways.
He shakes his head. “Nah, Price messaged ‘er. If your pain starts up again, just take some pain meds or see her.”
“I like the way you run things here,” you hum, looking around at the concrete walls and linoleum floors, barren of personality. “No wasting time or resources.”
A draft carries down the hall, and you find yourself rubbing your arm, biting at your lower lip from the cold. Gaz’s hand wraps around your waist, pulling you into his body heat subtly, and you’re silently grateful. “I’ll give you some of my spare clothes to sleep in,” he says, thumb rubbing against where his hand sits in tight circles.
Your stomach growls, then, and you can hardly find the energy to be embarrassed when you haven’t eaten in four days. Yikes.
“Sorry –”
“I made you. Um.” Gaz looks away, bringing up his other hand to rub at the nape of his neck nervously. “I made you some wraps to eat, because the guys love ‘em, and Price kept getting pulled into meetings. So.”
The smile that pulls at your cheeks burns as you softly say, “Thank you.”
His grip around your waist tightens, the smallest amount.
You don’t comment.
“While you change, I’ll go get them from the fridge,” he says, as the two of you pause outside a standard door. The barracks look the same as every other corridor in this base, you’ve found, three other doors sitting close to this one. The 141’s rooms.
Unlocking the door, he switches on the light, and as you step in, you look around at the small room.
A double bed, narrow but long, sits in the corner next to a small window. Next to it, a wooden bedside table, with photos atop it, and a few random medals and gum wrappers. A single poster is stuck to the wall – and as soon as you see it, a laugh bubbles up in your chest.
“What?” Gaz asks, looking through his chest of drawers, looking to you with flushed cheeks. “It isn’t that bad.”
Your laughs continue, racking your body with each inhale as you point to the poster, eyes watery as you look at the man. “Didn’t realise you were into the Spice Girls, Garrick.”
He shoves his clothes into your face, only making you double over with laughter. 
“It was from my mum,” he grumbles, and you grab for his cheeks, squeezing them as your eyes near-shut with the manic laughter bubbling from you.
“Mama’s boy,” you tease, pulling at his cheeks until he’s face level. He huffs, pushing you away with a hand to your jaw, making more giggles erupt from your chest. “It’s cute, Gaz, I’m not being mean, pinky promise.”
“I’m getting the wraps, you twat,” he tries to sound accusatory, but his dimples deepen in his cheeks, his mouth pulling into a stubborn smile as he shoves you onto the bed, slamming the door shut behind him as he goes.
The fondness in your chest aches, and as you pull on his clothes, taking off the medical robe, you realise something. A niggling, in the back of your mind, one you can’t seem to shake as you tie off the oversized grey sweatpants around your waist.
A singular realisation, but a damning one, nonetheless.
Your smile doesn’t fade.
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bubble-dream-inc · 1 year
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i walk the line.
You had joked with Ghost before about getting married, never with a tone serious enough for it to be taken into account, even if it was something you dreamed about whenever you were alone with your thoughts. What you hadn’t expected was the question to come up at such an inopportune time. 
Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Sergeant Reader
rbs greatly appreciated!
WC: 2.1 K
a/n: i hate giving my fics titles so just assume the song in the title is the vibe i want the fic to have lmao. also this is unedited and not beta read so beware of typos and shit
warnings: estabilished relationship, profanity, whump, description of wound, mentions of death, badly timed marriage proposal, medical inaccuracies, fluff, happy ending
It’s cold.
No, scratch that. It’s fucking freezing.
God, you hate the cold. Considering how much you despise it, it amuses you to think you might have been a desert creature in another life. A lizard, maybe. The types to scurry really fast and eat small insects all day. What a life.
You’re lost in your musings but you think there are a few very faint voices calling for you. Where are they coming from? Above? Seems like it. First, you hear their voices getting clearer, and recognize a word. It’s your codename, meaning, it’s your teammates voices. But why do they sound so agitated? Next, you feel pain. Quickly rising, scorching hot pain in your abdomen. 
Oh, that’s right. You were shot.
A scream echoes out wherever you are and only later you’d recognize it as your own, in the same moment you recognize Ghost’s own booming voice frantically calling out for you, and the heavy weight of Soap’s large hands holding you down so you wouldn’t trash as much. It had been ironic, really, how much the mission went smoothly, 99% of it being completed without a hitch, but right as you were about to celebrate success, some fucker neither of you had seen before had decided to put a bullet in you - any of you - blindly, and it so happened it would hit you. The offender was long gone, a throw knife lodged in his skull as quick as a blink of an eye in the split second after the gunshot was heard, but the damage was already done. A few seconds before it happened, you had groaned how much you couldn’t wait for evac to come so you could take a hot shower and sleep, since your bones were aching, and Gaz had laughed and called you old-spirited. So much for that shower, you think as you take in the surroundings of what you could see of the abandoned safe house from your position on the blood stained table. It was painful to think about if that same table was used in the past for a family reunion or to gather folks around for good news, before hell broke loose and war tore apart the people, so you didn’t think about it. Ghost called your codename again and you cast your eyes downwards to look at him, the fear in his eyes sending a chill down your spine.
“Hey! Talk to me, don’t you dare close your eyes!”
You had screamed as he was removing the projectile from your flesh, you realized. Was not your first rodeo, a thought that made you want to laugh bitterly, but just the idea of laughing made you wince in pain. His hands were currently trying to stop the bleeding, and after taking one look at the wound, you suddenly felt at peace. 
It was pretty shitty you were going to die in an equally shitty safehouse, but that’s the life you chose. So, against your better judgment, you chuckle lowly and decide to follow your superior’s orders.
“Keep talking, eh? Alright.” You groaned once more when he applied more pressure to your gaping wound. “L.t, do you- do you remember when i told you…I wanted to retire early and - fuck - get to the countryside and get a big ass dog?”
He looked up at you briefly, glad you were talking but clearly wondering where you were going with this. You knew he hated when you spoke of the future as if you were going to die - which, right now, you were pretty sure it was really happening this time - but you couldn’t help yourself. Of course he remembers that conversation, it was in the beginning of your secret-not-so-secret relationship. You had asked him what he would do if he wasn’t a soldier, and he had given you a very cryptic and vague answer that resembled a lot like nothing. In turn, you told him your wishes half heartedly, as if thinking of living for 10 more years was a very distant dream. 
The relationship between the 141’s Lieutenant and one of its Sargeants was a sort of urban legend going around. People knew it was happening, but didn’t dare speak of it, and no one had ever really seen any proof of it, so, it was best to avoid prying into Ghost’s private matters as to not risk being at the receiving end of his annoyance, and, in turn, you both found solace in having something that only the two of you knew about. It never hindered your professionalism and it had been going on for a few good years now, so it became somewhat naturalized between the folks coexisting in the same space as you and Simon after a while. However, that never stopped the natural curiosity to flourish in a few people - namely, your comrades, who always knew there was something going on given the fact you’d literally look at your superior with hearts in your eyes - so you had to ignore Gaz and Soap’s expectant eyes on you as you spoke so tenderly, the intensity of witnessing the start of what seemed like a very intimate talk momentarily sharing space with the worry they were feeling over you. 
“...Yes. I remember.”
He never forgets the things you say, even if you think it’s not important at the time. You hummed, ignoring the pain that came with it.
“Big dogs were never really my thing. I just-” A cough ripped out of you, and you didn’t need to look to know there was blood in it. “ I just thought it was the kind of thing you’d want. Big dogs fit you. It felt less scary to think about retiring once I added you in the equation.”
You were slurring your words and you knew it. As you regained your breath, you briefly saw a very wide-eyed and angry looking Price curse into his comm asking where the fuck was the goddamn chopper. Your codename being barked alongside the word “WIA” to a poor fellow soldier on the other side of the line left you with a bad taste in your mouth. You hate how scared Ghost looked, your big, scary, stoic Ghost, and you can’t help but feel selfish for leaving him, even if being shot was not your fault and wasn’t really in your plans when you left the base that morning.
“Stop talking like you’re fucking d-”
“We could have done it, you know?” Your laugh is, once again, bitter, and you’re acutely aware of the tears streaming down your face. Death has never scared you, but now that you got a reason to stay, you’re terrified. “Could’ve gotten hitched somewhere nice. Can’t really imagine you in a suit, though.”
The pain doesn’t stop, but it gets duller as you feel your consciousness slipping away, and you never fought so much to stay awake in your entire life. Simon yells something to Soap among the lines of getting something from somewhere so he can continue trying to save you, but you don’t register his words. His tone softens once his eyes are back on you.
“I’d wear a suit if you asked me to, sweetheart.”
“I know. I wouldn’t ask, though.”
Not caring there are other people in the room, you smile at him, well aware it must be uncanny to see Ghost be so tender towards another person, but again, you were the lucky one who got to see it every time it was just the two of you, so you got used to it with time.
Your vision starts spinning more and more, and your eyes start to close the moment you hear the familiar, faint sound of a helicopter getting closer, Simon’s big hands suddenly on your face to try to keep you grounded, and he sounds even more exasperated than before. He calls your name - not your codename, for once.
“Stay alive, do you hear me?! You gotta stay the fuck alive so i can take you to the bloody countryside and get bloody hitched-”
“You askin’ me to marry ya’ in my deathbed, sir?” You manage to slur out, your smile growing despite the panic you don’t have the energy to express settling in your bones, and Simon’s eyes widen even more behind the mask.
“Yes, I am, so stay with me, that’s a fucking order-”
You chuckle, closing your eyes as the frantic sounds around you all blur into a garbled mess. Faintly you feel your body being moved around, a strong wind on your blood and dirt caked hair, hear some more shouting, but then,
Silence.
——————————
Feels like the thousandth time you have woken up, and the feeling of coming in and out of consciousness is unbearable at best.
The first time - or the second, you don’t remember - there was a strong light above you, but you had no energy to open your eyes, so it lasted a measly second before you were out again. Later, you heard an unfamiliar voice saying something about an induced coma for a few days for a better recovery. You wondered if they were talking about you (they probably were). This happens a few more times before you actually feel your consciousness coming back for good, and, before you open your eyes, the first thing you notice is how warm it is, and, if you could, you’d smile. The spring air smells good, and you think you catch a whiff of cleaning products while you inhale, suddenly aware of how empty your lungs felt. The third thing you notice is the weight on your hand, and once you open your eyes, you find a familiar set of skeleton gloved hands on top of your own. A few years back you had told him with a laugh the print was very 2000’s, and he had just brushed you off with a scowl, but you’ve never been so glad to see the tacky thing. His thumb caresses your skin as he patiently waits for you to become more aware of your surroundings, and you instantly smile when you finally meet his gaze, which looks extremely relieved.
“Hi.” Your throat feels parched, voice straining as if you’d swallowed a kilo of sand, but Simon thinks your voice never sounded so sweet to his ears.
“Hi.” 
It hurts to move, but you do so anyway, slowly sitting up despite Simon’s protests just so you can see him more clearly and grasp his hand a little better. While you are busy cringing at the dull pain in your stomach from the stitches, he extends a glass of water for you, to which you grab and gulp down immediately, quenching your thirst and looking over at your partner with such gratitude an onlooker would have thought he was a literal godsend. 
“How bad is it?” Your voice still felt rough from disuse, but at least it sounded a bit more familiar to your ears. 
“Pretty bad.” He doesn’t bother you with details; he knows you were never a fan of hearing about your wounds descriptively. “But you’ve always been tough.”
You flash him a grin that has him silently flabbergasted both with how beautiful you are and how quickly you seem to bounce back from a near fatal injury. Suddenly, you remember your last words before you blacked out, and your smile turns shy as you cast your gaze down to where your hands meet.
“...Did you mean it?” 
Simon has always been extremely observant and smart, he knows what you are talking about immediately, and you like to think he is smiling under the mask as he goes back to gingerly caressing the top of your smaller hand with his thumb.
“I did, sweetheart.” His voice is low, and every time he calls you a pet name it has your heart doing somersaults. “I’m sorry I don't have a ring yet and I don't know when we would have some time off to have a ceremony, but I want to marry ya’. If you’ll have me, that is.”
Feeling like your smile would grow so big it would rip your face, you beamed at him, acutely aware of how you must have been looking like a mess with a - hospital - bed head and tired eyes, but you’d hoped he could notice the hearts in your eyes as obviously as you felt them. Things always seemed to fall in place with Ghost; no need for extravagance or huge acts, and the fact that your marriage proposal was exactly that, made you fall even more in love with him. You watched lovingly as he raised your hand to press a mask covered kiss on the top of it, and shook your head, laughing gently.
“Of course i’ll marry you, Simon.”
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sweet-as-an-angel · 2 years
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Yandere Simon "Ghost" Riley Headcanons
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Summary: You were just a civilian caught in the crossfire, kidnapped by a cartel and held prisoner. And now, after being rescued by Ghost, you may wonder if you are any safer with him than you were out there.
Warnings: Kidnapping, mentions of physical abuse, memory loss/amnesia, loss of ability to walk (temporary), yandere behaviour, toxic behaviour, possessive behaviour, kind of slow burn,  romantic tension, Ghost gets jealous, somewhat angsty in some parts, very fluffy in others (a good balance), mentions of interrogation, Reader showcases anxiety, no use of pronouns for Reader except ‘you’, mentions of games,
Wordcount: 7,581 words
You were a tourist who was in the wrong place at the wrong time - seen things you weren’t meant to see.
And that’s how you ended up here, chained up in a warehouse for what you could only have guessed to have been a couple of months.
You were barely kept alive by restricted rations of food and water the cartel members gave you, needing you alive but just weak enough to not be able to fight back.
They kept you around for their own amusement, hitting you, beating you, humiliating you.
You missed your family, your friends, your old life. You truly believed, with a heavy heart, that you’d die here without ever getting the chance to see them again.
Until…
It had all happened so fast that you couldn’t keep up with it all.
One minute there was a group of men playing poker at a table nearby, the next they’d all been blown away by some nigh-silent, unseen force.
As soon as it had began, it was all over, though gunfire resonated from deeper within the warehouse.
Your heart thudded, your mind hazy and heavy yet just about conscious enough to acknowledge a set of heavy, booted footsteps nearing you.
A walkie-talkie crackled, followed by a deep, gravelly voice.
“One potential hostage found. Commencing collection now.”
The chains keeping you tethered to the metal post were cut and your hands fell.
You barely had the strength to lift them, nevermind your head, which lolled forward, gaze fixed in your lap.
The person who you presumed to have released you knelt down before you. A gloved hand pushed against your forehead, forcing you to look at them.
He was ghastly.
His flesh face was covered by a second, the insignia of his endoskeleton splayed across a dark mask. His eyes were dark and seemed to swallow all light that tried to glimmer within them.
“Can you talk?” he said. His voice was calm yet lacked patience, as if he knew time was short.
You could barely move, barely think.
You said nothing.
The man took your non-answer and moved to lift you, keeping an arm under yours and the other firmly holding his gun.
Now, stood at full height, walking on legs you hadn’t used in months, your body couldn’t handle it.
Your blood pressure dropped and so did you.
The man grunted as your weight collapsed into him, almost taking him with you.
You fell unconscious, and the man rearranged you, slinging his gun over his shoulder and carrying you in his arms.
The next time you awoke, the setting was drastically different.
The dust-filled, sweltering warehouse you had grown accustomed to had given was to a blindingly white facility, the scent of streilisers and medicine filling your nostrils.
You couldn’t move much, body heavy yet soul willing, and your eyes shifted beneath hooded lids.
A machine beeped closeby, one you recognised to be mimicking your heartbeat. The rest of the room was quiet, save for the turning of paper somewhere.
The surface beneath you was plush, encompassing you, unlike the warehouse floor.
Putting the pieces together, your heart began to pound. The heart monitor copied.
A nearby nurse rushed to your side, turning your head this way and that and shining a  light in your eyes, talking at you rather than to you.
The rest became a blur.
Doctors visited, recorded your condition. You didn’t know where you were but you knew you were safe. For now, at least.
Some officers came and tried speaking to you, only to find you unable (or unwilling) to talk.
This came as a discovery to you, too.
Soon after waking up, you found that your mind, your memories, were blank. Nothing of your prior self remained save for an overview of your torturous time in captivity, and…
That mask.
The man who’d saved you.
You found it hard to speak, not having done so properly in months save for begging for your life and crying whenever you were alone.
When one of the officers asked you if there was anything you needed, your body acted on instinct, by reflex, and came out with only one word.
“Skull.”
Ghost was stationed by you shortly after that, having been known to be the one who brought you back to Base and the only one to resemble the ‘skull’ you’d spoken of.
The task was…mind numbing, to say the least.
After your singular request for the man who saved you, you went silent again.
No words, no noises, just you sat in the hospital bed, dead to the world.
Nobody could coax a word from you, not even Ghost, as you heard him introduce himself.
The events of the last couple months had forced you into a state of “Dissociative amnesia,” as the doctor had put it. “Rare, but real.”
The doctor said it could take a while for you to regain your memories, and until then, you would have to be kept under supervision.
No permanent thoughts crossed your mind during your period of blankness. They flitted in and out of your consciousness as a phantom would.
Ghost had only tried interacting with you two or three times, the first being his introduction, the others being an attempt at getting any sort of response from you.
Nothing worked, and you were both resigned to sitting in silence with one another.
Days passed, you weren’t sure how many.
Ghost was getting impatient.
He knew you could be a key witness to the cartel’s deeper activities, but he knew he couldn’t force your cooperation. Not while you were practically vegetative, at least.
Ghost sat on a chair by your bedside, all but resembling a mannequin.
He stared into the distance.
“Oh,” came your small, croaking voice. “It’s you.”
Ghost almost didn’t turn to look at you, believing the voice to be a hallucination.
He hazarded a glance and almost considered jumping.
You looked at him, dead into his eyes, conscious, talking.
Another blur of activity surrounded you immediately after, Ghost alerting the doctors to you becoming vocal again and leaving them to do their job not long after.
Tests were run, your memory was tested (of which there was still little), and the better part of a day was spent observing you, trying to determine whether you were ready for interrogation or not.
Luckily, the higher-ups seemed to feel lenient, giving you longer to recover until you were expected to produce answers to their copious questions.
In the meantime, Ghost was assigned to you day and night, both as your protector and observer.
He was…quiet, to say the least.
Rarely spoke unless spoken to, meaning he was of little entertainment to you in your bed-bound state.
This led to you trying to make small talk, regardless of whether Ghost would respond or not.
Little did you know that, despite his lack of participation, Ghost was listening to every single word you said.
During a one-sided conversation, you mentioned colouring, an activity you liked when you were younger.
“Yeah!” you said, face lighting up as you slowly recalled a memory of your younger self, colouring book in tow. “I remember that my grandma had this old, really old colouring book that she gave me. It was vintage, smelled like antique book pages, sweet,”
Ghost watched you, listened. He saw your face light up. You looked at him, eyes smiling.
“It was nearly as old as her when she gave it to me; I was terrified of ruining it so I never coloured in it. Just kept it safely on my bookshelf, looked at the pictures before bed…”
The day after, Ghost came to you with a colouring book and a box of pencils.
“Not exactly vintage, but it’ll do,” he said, laying the book and the utensils on your bedside.
You smiled up at him as he settled into his seat.
“Thank you, Ghost,” you said, smiling. “I mean it.”
Ghost offered minimal input whenever you spoke to him, which you still did while you coloured the pictures.
It wasn’t much, but it was a start.
After that, over the course of a week, more memories came back to you.
They were small, inconsequential at best, but they were evidence that you were making a fast recovery.
And Ghost was there to hear every single one of them.
Whenever you came out with something new, he’d write it down in a Base-issued notebook, telling you to slow down whenever words failed you, your mind wrapped up in splinters of who you were - who you are.
And you would glance at his notes every now and then.
“Wow,” you said, suppressing a smile. “Your handwriting’s worse than mine.”
“I’d like to see you do better,” Ghost replied, barely casting you a glance.
You reached for the pen, which Ghost withheld from you until he realised what you were trying to do.
Now, equipped, you turned to a new page in the notebook and tried writing something.
It came out like a doctor’s signature, merely cursive scribbles that meant nothing to the untrained eye.
Ghost eyed your work.
“What you tryna write?” he said, accent rough.
You bit your lip, trying to focus all your efforts on making what was in your head come out onto the paper.
“My name,” you said.
Ghost seemed to straighten up at that.
The memory was weak, a fawn stumbling on its wiry legs, trying to find purchase.
But it was there, behind frosted glass. You could vaguely make out the letters which would be the key to your existence.
You kept scrawling, muscle memory having weakened significantly, until you hit upon a  familiar pattern.
The ‘letters’ were indecipherable, even to yourself. The memory of your name began to fade, and, though you grasped at it, you were left with nothing as it was consumed by darkness.
You stopped writing, defeat overtaking you.
“Why’d you stop?” Ghost asked, looking up from the notebook to you.
You felt tears fill your eyes, tried to keep them in.
“I forgot again,” you said, voice cracking.
The pen lay limp in your hand, and Ghost removed it, putting it down.
The fabric of his glove against your skin sent a jolt through you, unexpected but strangely comforting.
“Well,” Ghost said, a temporary solution coming to him. “How ‘bout we give you a new name, just ‘til you find your real one.”
You sniffed, tried smiling at the gesture, and nodded.
You went back and forth for a while, trying to think of a name that would suit you based on the limited information you had about yourself so far.
“It needs to be nice,” you said. Ghost gave a slight inclination of a nod. You kept thinking.
“Fawn,” Ghost said.
His eyes bore into you, though you suspected that was just his disposition rather than him intentionally trying to spook you.
“How’s that sound?”
You tried the name on your tongue, then, you beamed.
“I like it,” you said, giving Ghost a grateful smile.
From that day on, Ghost referred to you as Fawn, a name that the rest of the Base staff called you, too, having nothing else to call you.
Ghost never told you why he picked that name. Perhaps he saw something in you that resembled your namesake. Your newborn optimism, perhaps.
At your bedside night and day, Ghost became the first and only witness of your memories as they slowly revealed themselves to you.
Some were light-hearted, some were filled with the natural sorrow found in human life, and some were downright embarrassing; all of which gave Ghost gradual insights into who you are.
He eventually seemed comfortable enough to make fun of your more embarrassing ones, such as the time you went to a store your crush worked at, only to find that you had toilet paper stuck to the heel of your shoe the entire time.
This became somewhat of a joke between you and Ghost. One that the staff seemed to find confusing.
Whenever staff escorted you to and from the bathroom, Ghost would look down at your feet.
“No toilet paper to worry about this time,” he’d say.
Your face would burn at the memory, but you’d laugh regardless.
You also forced him to listen to music that came to you as visions from another time, tunes which you’d hum to Ghost, who recorded them, took them to whoever, and would come back with the song it originated from.
Soon, you had three or four CDs which contained music you’d enjoyed before your amnesia.
They all felt and sounded familiar. Comforting.
You’d implore (guilt trip) Ghost to listen to them, too.
His face - his eyes, really, the rest of it was covered - were blank as you passed him the headphones, preparing himself to listen to whatever you’d found that day.
He gave no indication of whether he enjoyed it or not.
“I can see why you like it,” is all he would say, passing the headphones back to you.
“Oh?” you said once, laying the headphones on the bed. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
Ghost leaned forward onto his knees, elbows propped upon them.
“It means,” he began, “that I’m not surprised this is the type of music you listen to.”
You feigned hurt, having slowly regained your ability to utilise humour after your diagnosis, the days getting easier.
“Well, I bet I can guess what type of music you like to listen to.” You held a smile on your face, just bordering on smug.
Ghost gave you a look. “Oh yeah?” he said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. “Go on, then.”
You pretended to think for a moment, already having thought this question through many times before. Ghost was elusive, that much was plain to see, yet you imagined him in ways that made him familiar - human - to you.
“I bet you like metal,” you said. “Heavy.”
Ghost gave a sound that may have been a laugh.
“Am I that easy to read?” he said, a smirk vague in his tone.
“No,” you replied, innocently. “I’m just not surprised that’s the type of music you listen to.”
Ghost gave a slow, sarcastic, demeaning clap, muffled by his gloves.
“All right, well done,” he said, the smirk in his voice growing.
The two of you played board games together, too.
Initially, he let you win, claiming that life in the military had left him “No time for leisure.”
Translation: “I haven’t played board games in an age.”
You picked up early on he was letting you win and insisted on having him play fairly.
There was something deeply enigmatic about watching a trained soldier try and mask his frustration when he lands on Mayfair for the third time in Monopoly.
Whenever you’d lose you’d challenge him to another game, thus continuing the cycle of celebration and condemnation, with you claiming he was “cheating” when he won.
“You told me to play fair,” Ghost would say, a smugness in his voice.
Not all times with Ghost were light-hearted, however.
Even if his presence reassured you, there was the overwhelming feeling that you were missing out on something.
You knew you had family, if they were still alive, but you didn’t know them.
Friends, too. You wondered how many you had.
If you had a crush, that meant you interacted with people on some scale, right?
And it was in times like these, times when you just wanted to go home, wherever that was, that Ghost was there for you.
More often than not you’d end up in tears, trying to stifle them.
Ghost said nothing as you wept, chiming in only when he deemed the onslaught over.
“Why don’t blind guys skydive?” he said once.
You sniffed, wiping your nose, and looked at him.
“What?” you said.
“I said, why don’t blind guys skydive?”
You looked down, as if the answer lay in your hands. You shrugged.
“Scares the shit outta their dogs.”
Silence for a second. And then, a laugh.
You gave a laugh, airy at first but firmer the longer it went on.
You put a hand over your mouth, as if to hide your growing smile from Ghost.
Wiping the streaks of tears from your cheeks, you looked at him.
“Thank you,” you said. “I feel a little better.”
“S’what I’m here for.”
About two weeks into your rescue, your physical training began.
Having fully recovered from malnutrition, Base wanted you to start learning how to walk again, both for your convenience and theirs.
Ghost attended each meeting you had to go to, watching from the sidelines as a nurse guided you between two wooden poles.
The sessions were tough. Very tough.
You felt useless, responsible for your own suffering.
“If I’d done more, if I’d fought harder-”
“Then you’d be dead,” Ghost would insist whenever you questioned your choices.
“Types like the ones who kidnapped you don’t enjoy people who can easily fight them off. Trust me, you did the right thing.”
After sessions, you were usually tired, opting to try and push for an extra hour or so to get back your ability to walk quicker.
The nurse would insist you rest immediately afterwards.
One evening, you wanted to push yourself.
“I need to do this,” you told Ghost, pulling your legs over the side of the bed. He stood by your bedside, waiting to catch you if you fell.
“I need to-” you slid off the bed, lost your balance, and fell into Ghost’s arms.
His chest was rock solid, and he held you by your arms, close to him, helping you back up.
“You need to rest,” he said, trying to guide you back to bed.
“No!” You yelled, immediately regretting it.
Still in Ghost’s arms, you looked away, shame overtaking you.
“I’m sorry, Ghost, but I- I really, really need to…”
You didn’t finish your sentence. Ghost remained silent for a minute, then nodded.
“Alright,” he said, pulling you away from the bed.
“I’ll help you.”
In your room, Ghost walked a few laps with you, his hold emigrating from your underarms to your elbows, and then to your hands.
You took uneven, shaking steps, but they were steps in the right direction.
You smiled back at Ghost as he stood behind you, helping you.
Another couple of weeks passed. Ghost would give you secret after-session sessions, helping you walk wherever you pleased (within the confines of the room).
You were still shaky, very weak in certain areas, but you were getting stronger, more reliable.
You got to know Ghost more whenever you were resting in your room.
“My favourite colour,” you began one day, “is…[f/c].”
Ghost gave a brief noise of acknowledgement.
“What’s yours?” you asked, continuing to colour.
Ghost spoke plainly. “A secret,” he said.
You blinked, wondering if you’d misheard him.
“Huh?” you said, looking up at him.
There was no humour in his eyes. He was dead serious.
“Aww, come on!” you said, oddly hurt by his lack of willing. “You don’t trust me?”
Ghost’s eyes said everything and nothing at the same time.
“Depends,” he said, diplomatically. “D’you trust me?”
“Yes,” you said, without hesitation and with all the certainty of someone who felt nothing but trust and blind faith.
Ghost’s eyes widened for a second, as if he wasn’t expecting your answer, or maybe the light was playing tricks with your eyes. 
Sensing he wasn’t going to say anything, you tried to cover for his absence.
“I mean, it’d be hard not to.” You looked down at your colouring book. You became warm, as if confessing something personal.
“You saved my life, you protect me, you’re always there when I need you,”
“Because it’s my job.” Ghost’s declaration came out as if it were an attack, a deterrent for you to not pursue this line of thinking any further.
You swallowed and continued on.
“Yeah, you could say that,” you said. “But you took this job.”
“I was assigned-”
“No, no, not this one,” you said gesturing to the room, looking squarely at him. “I mean as a soldier.”
Ghost said nothing, only watching you.
“Why would you take a job protecting people if you didn’t see yourself as trustworthy enough for them to rely on you?”
Your question was simple yet revealed a lot. Too much for Ghost’s liking.
Ghost gave no response, his gaze travelling elsewhere.
You dropped the conversation.
The room returned to silence.
“Green.” Ghost’s voice came out of nowhere, low, making you jump.
You looked at him. He said nothing else.
You swallowed, looked down at your box of pencils, and withdrew a green pencil. You passed it to Ghost, who took it reluctantly, and turned the colouring book so he could reach it.
You coloured the rest of the page together.
Then, the interrogations began.
What memories and names Base didn’t gather from your notes, they tried extracting from you in ‘interviews’.
They were simple enough at first: what did you see during your time with the cartel; what were the names of the people you encountered (ones which you hadn’t already alerted them to); how long were you in the cartel’s captivity, etc.
The interviewers were firm yet didn’t push too hard in areas which were still hazy to you.
You gave every detail you could remember and passed on every memory, no matter how small, about your time in captivity.
It brought back unwelcome feelings, the fear, the hunger, the shame…
You were offered psychological aid, which you found to be of some help, though there was an itch the psychiatrist couldn’t quite scratch.
One that you spoke to Ghost about.
“It’s like…it’s like they’re going by a script,” you said, walking with Ghost around your room, leaning against him as you navigated the circuit.
“Like they’re trying to help, they want to help, but…”
“But?” Ghost’s voice was heavy behind you, like a wall. You stopped shambling and Ghost came to a stand-still behind you.
“But…they don’t know how. They don’t know how to help me because they’ve never-”
“Been in your situation.” Ghost finished your sentence.
You turned to look at him, mouth agape as you heaved laboured breaths, your exercise having taken it out of you.
You felt a shiver crawl up your spine. Recognition.
“Yeah,” you said, exasperated. Finally, someone understood!
Ghost nodded. “I know how it feels.”
You both sat down, you on the bed and Ghost in his seat. You shifted, watching him. He searched for something to say.
“I know how your situation’s affected you,” he said. His gaze flitted from your eyes to anywhere else. “And I wish I could say it gets better. But…”
His eyes looked hard, dark. His gaze finally settled on you, penetrating your soul.
“Look, the only way you can start to rebuild your life is to talk to someone.”
“You mean…” You dared not let your gaze slip.
Ghost gave a fractional nod.
“I know these shrinks ain’t much good when it comes to our kind of trauma, but talkin’ to someone who’s been through what you have might make you feel like you’ve not lost the plot.”
You felt like a breakthrough had been made. Something, maybe excitement, crawled up your throat.
“Our?” you said, quiet, as if sharing a secret. A small smile tweaked at the corners of your lips.
Ghost gave no confirmation. But the silence was enough.
Over the course of the next couple of weeks, alongside recovering more menial memories of your past, the interrogations became harsher.
You told and retold the interrogators everything you knew, any new developments which had occurred to you, forced to relive everything which had reduced you to your current condition.
But they weren’t satisfied.
They thought you had something to hide. That you were covering for the cartel by withholding names and knowledge.
The second you were back in your room, you broke down.
You ranted and raved to Ghost, who listened intently, his attention solely on you.
In one hand you squeezed your fist, looking for your stress ball; the one that, ironically, was given to you by the same people who had caused you to need it now.
You couldn’t find it. You turned to Ghost.
Hyperventilating, in your panicked, angered state, you reached out to him.
“Can I squeeze your hand?” you said, words spewing out faster than you could think about them.
Ghost seemed rigid.
You swallowed thickly.
“Please.”
Ghost took a step towards you and, slowly, he raised his hand to you.
You took it, squeezing it, trying to stamp out the anxiety pulsing through you.
With your eyes closed and breathing evening out, you held Ghost’s hand close to you, your grip lessening with every minute that passed.
After your attack, as you got ready for bed, outside of your field of vision, standing just outside your room, you didn’t see Ghost.
Didn’t see him look down at the hand you’d so intimately held, squeezed, close to your chest.
He could feel your remnant, phantom warmth encompassing it.
He clenched his fist, as if trying to hold your hand, the memory of it which swam around his like fish in a pond.
A couple days later, you were set for another interrogation.
While you were holed up in that room, Ghost remained in yours.
He searched for your stress ball, the image of your tear-stained face in the forefront of his mind.
Somewhere within his psyche, as he scoured the space for that little yellow sphere of temporary distraction, your voice echoed.
It thanked him for finding it, held him in its grip, drove him.
The warm gratitude you’d express plagued him, encompassing him in a similar, diluted warmth he’d felt when you held his hand.
He glanced under your bed. And there it was.
He plucked it and turned it over in his hand.
The gratification of seeing your face light up when he presented it to you fizzed in his mind.
And then another, heavier thought crossed his mind.
The feeling of you close to him, holding, gripping him in your time of need…did something to him.
He’d be the last to admit that he hadn’t felt warmth like that in a long time. And to forfeit it just for a moment’s gratification seemed a waste.
Ghost glanced at the ball. He deposited it deep into his pocket.
He told himself he’d return it to you later.
Later. Later.
Later came as you hobbled down the corridor with the help of a frame.
You seemed stressed. In need of release.
Ghost slid his hand into his pocket. Squeezed the ball.
“Did you find it?” you asked, hopeful. Your optimism was difficult to ignore.
Ghost shook his head. “Negative,” he said, a habit he’d picked up. Slow and intentional. He knew what he was doing. “But I’m here if you need me.” 
And need him, you did.
You ended up confiding in him how the interrogation went, how the interviewers had made you feel like you had something to hide.
All the while, you clutched Ghost’s hand.
No amount of pressure you could muster could possibly hurt him, yet Ghost could tell you were holding back what little strength you had - both physical and mental.
“Don’t be shy,” Ghost said, voice cutting through your anxious ramblings. He looked down at your conjoined hands. “Squeeze harder.”
Something in the way you looked at him, with a look that said ‘I don’t want to hurt you’, crossed your eyes.
A look Ghost had nearly forgotten in his line of work.
You eventually fell into a comfortable rhythm wherein you would squeeze Ghost as hard as you could, leading to him faking injury at one point.
You chided him, you both laughed (or, Ghost nearly laughed), and you rested against your pillow.
“You know,” you said, turning to Ghost, “one day, I hope we won’t need a military.”
You were exhausted. Ghost could tell. He humoured your sleep-deprived ramblings regardless.
“So that people like you don’t have to fight for us.”
“Oh?” Ghost said. He’d be lying if he said his curiosity wasn’t piqued.
You nodded, movements growing sluggish, lethargic.
Your hand still held Ghost’s, resting it upon your stomach.
“You’re people, just like us.” You said, yawning. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”
Ghost felt an unfamiliar warmth spark in his chest. He ignored it.
“Not gonna happen, I can assure you that.”
“Which part?” you asked, eyes shutting.
Ghost leaned to mutter in your ear: “I’ll always be here to protect you.”
He didn’t know if you’d heard him.
When he withdrew, you were asleep. Still holding him.
He pulled his seat closer to your bedside, unable to bring himself to dislodge his hand from yours.
And that’s how he found you the morning after, awaking from his rigid sleep, still conjoined.
And thus, a habit was born.
After each interrogation, or psychiatrist visit or physical rehabilitation session, you would return to your room with Ghost and squeeze his hand until your anxiety dissipated.
All the while, your memories had begun returning at a quickened pace.
Ghost was learning more about you day by day.
Your favourite food, your home country, the names of your family members.
Your real name.
When he’d heard you say it for the first time, he swore the room got brighter.
It was beautiful and personal in ways that ‘Fawn’ could not compare.
It gave him a place to start searching for traces of you elsewhere.
Social media accounts, certificates, places of work and education - he knew he could find it all.
To make sure you were better off at home than you were at the Base is how he’d justified this interest to himself.
He still called you Fawn when you were alone, the name an inside joke between the two of you.
Speaking of, Ghost exchanged many jokes with you.
Regardless of how illogical or downright plain they were, you laughed each time.
Genuinely laughed.
Ghost wondered if you’d have reacted the same had you not been in the situation you were in right now; practically tethered to him and needing him for everything.
Well, almost everything.
After a few months of physical rehabilitation, you could just about walk again.
Your balance was a little off and you still needed the frame, but it was a start!
Ghost was there with you to celebrate, which, despite their best efforts to make you feel like a caged bird, the Base celebrated, too.
You’d been incredibly useful to them, having turned up many new leads for them to investigate.
As a reward, Base let you do something which caused Ghost to wonder if this was really the best decision.
They let you go to a bar with the boys.
To clarify, they said you could leave your room, the news of which travelled around the Base until it reached the ears of Ghost’s team.
“When were you gonna tell us?” Soap said, Alejandro nearby.
Ghost’s face was blank.
“Didn’t deem it necessary,” he said. And left it at that.
Naturally, Ghost’s team came to visit you and asked if you wanted to go to a bar with them.
“All that alcohol might help you remember something,” said Gaz, looking between you and Ghost.
You looked to Ghost, who, under the silent scrutiny of the other Force members, knew he couldn’t deny you of this freedom.
“Sure,” he said on your behalf. His eyes found yours and, while yours were filled with hope, Ghost’s seemed to exhibit a darkness never before seen by you.
You squeezed his hand that night you were set to leave.
“What if they don’t like me?” you said. “What if I was a terrible person and I remember all the bad things I’ve don-”
“Doesn’t matter.” Ghost’s voice came as a welcome distraction. You looked at him, swallowing your nerves.
“So what if they don’t like you? S’not like you’ll ever see them again.”
Ghost realised what he’d said wasn’t what you wanted to hear when your eyes widened, at which point he cleared his throat and tried again.
“What I mean is that they’ll like you regardless. Hell, they’re excited to just meet you after you’ve been holed up in confinement for the last few months.”
“You think so?” you said. Ghost nodded. And squeezed your hand back.
“I promise.”
The bar was nothing spectacular, being dimly lit and made solely out of wood, it seemed. But it was a change.
Creaking into the room, Alejandro spotted you first, throwing a cheer your way, followed by the rest of the Task Force, turning to face you.
Ghost was your shadow, large and wall-like behind you.
You held onto his wrist, daring not to let go, your other hand on the frame.
“Welcome, (Y/N),” said Gaz, lifting his drink in your general direction before taking a  swig.
You gave him a slight wave, a shy smile crossing your features.
“Come, take a seat with us!” Alejandro hollered, waving you over.
You cast Ghost a glance over your shoulder. He nodded stiffly and you made your way to the group.
Ghost came to your side, with you gripping onto his arm.
His hulking mass beside you relieved you somewhat.
And, though he wouldn’t admit it, having you cling to him brought back the same feeling he experienced whenever you squeezed his hand.
Was this perhaps…liking?
The cheers of the team cut his thoughts short.
He knew you’d be safe with his team if he just left. And, with your warmth radiating through him, he felt that he needed to take a step outside to rid himself of this growing affliction.
He made a move to detach himself from you, and, quick as lightning, your hand was atop his.
“Don’t leave,” you whispered to him, eyes pleading as you snapped to look at him.
His heart jumped. Something in him stirred.
“Alright,” he said. “I won’t.”
“Hey,” came Alejandro’s jovial tone. “I can see why Ghost’s been hiding you away and keeping you to himself all this time.”
You felt your face heat up at the implication, then feigned oblivion. Just in case you were misreading the situation.
“Oh?” you said, tone inquisitive.
Alejandro nodded. “You’re very attractive.” He gave you an eye smile.
Your face felt as if it were on fire.
“Ah, look what you’ve done,” came Soap, emerging from the group. “You’ve gone and embarrassed (Y/N)!”
All the while, Ghost was beside you.
He seemed…rigid.
“That’ll do.” Ghost’s stern voice came, cutting through the chatter of the bar.
You nuzzled further into his side, as if trying to cover yourself.
You and Ghost settled into a quiet section of the bar after that, Soap, Alejandro and Gaz coming to pay you a visit whenever they brought you a drink, chatting for a minute or two before feeling ghost’s icy stare on their backs.
That night, laying in bed, you cast Ghost a tired smile.
“M’sorry I’ve been so clingy recently,” you said, Ghost tucking you in beneath the covers.
“Don’t be stupid,” he said, trying not to make eye contact with you.
Leaning back into your pillows, you reached for Ghost.
“Nervous?” he said, placing his gloved hand in yours.
“No,” you said. “Just want you nearby.”
Ghost’s heart spiked. He ignored it.
You fell asleep with his hand on your chest, hands holding his.
Ghost couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep without taking you in.
Even in the darkness, your features struck him as ethereal, your temperament and trust enrapturing him in ways he’d never been before.
He sat beside you, your loyal guard, watching over you through the night.
At some point, perhaps lulled to sleep by your rhythmic breathing, he joined you in a world far from this one, in a house you’d never seen before yet had lived in for years. You were happy, with Ghost behind you, unmasked, holding you.
Whether you shared this dream or not was irrelevant to Ghost. The only thing that mattered was that this, for now, felt real.
And yet, dreams can only satisfy the human lust for that which they do not have for so long.
The next day, more confident in your physical ability, you asked Ghost something which held an implication you weren’t yet aware of.
“Play Twister with me,” you said. You had a small smile on your face, one which Ghost was finding more and more difficult to deny.
After much pleading and begging, he eventually relented, more fond of the idea than he’d let on.
However, there was a stoic hesitance about him.
“I might hurt you.” His voice was sincere, yet his tone felt blank, as if he were protecting himself from the thought of injuring you.
You just smiled. “Never,” you said. “I trust you.”
Ghost scarcely contained the warmth seeping through his chest, threatening to make him smile.
He suppressed it.
“Fine,” he said.
Half an hour later, you were tangled together, neither relenting as your competitive nature got the better of you.
You span the dial, then called to Ghost: “Right foot, yellow!”
You tried. You really, really tried. But being pinned under the weight of a 6’2 ½ man and only just getting your strength back didn’t exactly give you an advantage. And stretching yourself too far, spreading your strength too thin, caused you to crumble.
You yelped, falling onto your front, winding yourself.
Ghost remained stationery on top of you.
You turned over onto your back and looked up at him, laughing.
“You can let go now,” you said. “You’ve won.”
“I know,” he said. “I just wanted to make sure you knew that.”
You gave a breathless laugh, hands either side of your head.
Ghost lowered himself onto his knees, your legs caged between them.
He didn’t notice until he felt your thighs touch the inside of his legs, at which point he became aware of the position you were in.
His hands were on either side of your shoulders, trapping you beneath him.
You went quiet, the only noise being your laboured breathing as you regained your breath.
You were so close, you noticed, able to see Ghost’s dark eyes searching yours.
Neither of you spoke.
Slowly, cautiously, Ghost leaned down, drawing closer to your face.
You watched, frozen by your own indecision.
Sure, you liked Ghost, but did you like like him?
Your body decided the latter as you tried to meet him in the middle. Instinctual.
The material of his mask just grazed the tip of your nose when a hurried knock came at your door.
Your heart jumped and you gasped, both you and Ghost turning to look at the door.
You regained your breath, chest heaving. “We should…um…” you struggled to find the words to say, sliding out from beneath Ghost.
“Yeah,” he said, getting up. He offered a hand to you, which you took, and hoisted you up.
You landed on his chest, his hand still gripping yours.
You couldn’t bring yourself to let go, and neither could Ghost, by the looks of things.
But alas, the doctor was persistent, calling your name through the door.
You parted without another word, leaning onto your nearby frame. Ghost assumed his usual tall posture, shaking the situation off his shoulders as if it were snow.
A couple weeks later, the foundations upon which you and Ghost had built your friendship came tumbling down.
Base had announced that they were sending you home, having gotten in contact with your family.
More of your memory had resurfaced, as had your strength; enough to reduce the risk of you getting injured somehow during transit.
Upon hearing this, you and Ghost had very different reactions.
Your heart swelled and you cheered, the thought of reuniting with your family again making your body light up.
Ghost remained quiet, no different from usual. But something about his quietude felt…off.
Cold.
Base would discharge you within the next day or so.
You related your plans of what you would do when you returned home.
“I’m going to go to the beach, I’m gonna read more, I-”
Ghost tuned you out, watching you with a vacant stare.
He knew he should have respected that you were bound to leave eventually, as all good things do. But…something about you made this separation more difficult than it needed to be.
Perhaps it was his ego, so inflated with your reliance on him that he could scarcely see himself having any value outside of it.
That was his first and final line of defence against what the real issue was.
As he watched you get excitable to get away from here, from him (he told himself), his resolve began to crack.
It had been chipped and scathed by other occurrences, sure. But this pressure, this final obstacle, threatened to destroy it entirely.
“What do you think, Ghost?” your voice tuned in as if it were re-emerging from water.
“About what?” he said. He saw little purpose in feigning interest now.
“About me being able to go home.” You wore a smile, a genuine smile. Ghost had seen enough to be able to identify it.
“Good,” he said. “Finally be out of my hair.” There was a venom in his tone that made you double-take.
You tried to ignore it, tried to focus on what the future held for you, but something in Ghost’s demeanour had changed. You sighed, dropped your previous train of thought.
“Ghost…” you said as you slid off the edge of your bed. Your balance had improved, making the trip to Ghost easier than it used to be. He reached out to grab you on instinct.
Standing before him now, you gazed into his eyes, trying to find the root of the issue.
“I wish we got more time together. Under different circumstances, of course.”
Of course, Ghost wanted to say, but he remained mute.
You placed gentle, cautious hands upon his chest, smoothing them over the fabric.
“You’ve been so good to me, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that.”
Your hands inched their way up to hold the sides of his mask. He made no move to remove you. His eyes bore into yours, soft in a way you’d never seen them before.
He placed his hands upon your waist, pulling you closer to him, slowly, methodically.
Your mind flashed back to your game of Twister. How close you’d been then and how close you were now.
Without thinking, urged by some sorrowful desire, you pulled Ghost into a tight hug, burying your face into his shoulder.
You sniffed, feeling tears sting your eyes and throat.
Ghost’s arms gingerly encompassed your frame, sliding around your waist, securing you.
The aversion he had to physical touch seemed to dissipate from him as you felt his weight pile on top of you, no longer holding back.
Neither of you spoke.
In your mind flashed a future without Ghost, a very real possibility. In Ghost’s, a future of only you and him. A silent promise he made to the both of you.
It took some time but the two of you eventually separated, with you wiping your nose on your sleeve.
Ghost watched you, hesitant to leave. Hesitant for you to leave.
You went to sleep that night as you never had before; Ghost laying in bed beneath you as you rested on his chest.
In his pocket, Ghost squeezed the stress ball, having found more use for it than you had.
In his haze, overwhelmed by the scent and presence of you, came an idea.
Later that morning, as you prepared to leave the Base, Ghost returned your stress ball to you.
“You found it!” you exclaimed, taking the ball and holding it close to your chest. You beamed up at Ghost, though there was an evident sorrow within you. “Thank you.”
Ghost offered his hand to you as he had many times before. And, for what you believed to be the final time, you took it, squeezing it.
You didn’t want to let go.
And neither did Ghost.
You were escorted onto the aircraft, Base fearing that you may be a target for any remaining cartel members while in the country, thus issuing you with a more discreet method of air travel home; a small helicopter.
You watched as Ghost grew further and further away, waving to you as you did to him, until he was gone.
In your hand you clutched your stress ball. Looking down at it, you turned it over in your hand.
There was something on it.
Looking closely, you saw the unmistakable outline of a phone number written in black ink, along with the word ‘Ghost’ below it.
You smiled, the crushing dejection you’d experienced for many hours before evaporating, replaced with a feeling you had grown all too familiar with.
Hope.
Meanwhile, Ghost got straight to work on tracking your location.
He wanted to know where that aircraft was going, when it would land, and approximately how long it would take for you to get home (and call him).
You may not have been able to see him anymore, but Ghost was watching over you.
This would be far from the last time you’d see him, he’d make absolutely sure of that.
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist
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A/N: Due to tumblr's 4,096 character limit per text box (paragraph), I've had to separate the whole post out like this to be able topost it. I've tried putting the breaks where there would be a time skip so that reader immersion doesn't suffer too much.
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Taglist: @yagipeach @deddoea @ghostsbrooklnbabe
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Ghost liking you in special jewellery
so fucking nsfw
pairing: l.t. Simon 'Ghost' Riley x reader (cod mw)
tags/tw: afab!reader, dirty talk, butt-plugs, smut, not really explicit but still kinda public teasing
a/n: uhm, somehow I just started imagining Ghost absolutely adoring his partner wearing those jewelled but plugs just because it makes you look oh so cute🫣
Simon 'Ghost' Riley MASTERLIST
nsfw
-like, it was never a secret you love when Ghost gropes your ass, big strong hands massaging the flesh, neither that he loved grabbing at any part of your body, especially your ass
-it's just nice when he does, making you feel desired as he physically can't keep his hands off of you for long, and he just likes it because it makes him feel grounded and he likes seeing how amazingly reactive you're to his touch
-then you both find out you don’t mind Ghost teasing that puckered hole of your ass
-it happened after that one time when he accidentally let his thumb slip over your back entrance as he intended to push your lower back down during doggy, hand gliding from gripping the flesh of your rear and up over the curve of it and then just .... yeah
-you were caught off-guard, moaned in surprised pleasure at the fleeting touch
-of course, Ghost noticed it hadn't been an entirely uncomfortable sound you'd released, and delicately repeated the teasing and light movement, only to spur the same sound again
-the pillow talk following that session had you incredibly more flustered than normally as he asked about it
-although you managed to talk about the newly discovered thing, neither of you really desired to go the full way, Ghost large enough he never skipped foreplay and needed to prep you before each time you had sex despite it being months into your relationship
-STIL, it turned out that you did like the exhilarating feeling of Ghost teasing you like that
-somewhere down the road, you scrolled on some sex website, wanting to buy some condoms and lube and just happen to get stuck on a pretty beginner's butt plug with a glimmering jewel
-without much thought, you added it to the cart
-imagine Ghost’s shock when he’s the one picking up the package and opens it, only to find the bejewelled plug, even more, so the first time he works it into you and fucks you as he stares at it and he feels something hot course through it
-he would go fucking feral, you were usually so pretty in jewellery but somehow you were even prettier now with the moans spilling from your lips as he teasingly pushed against the jewel to feel it nudge through the thin walls to where his cock pushed into your absolutely sopping hole
-FUCKING IMAGINE THIS MAN WANTING YOU TO WEAR IT WHILE YOU GO OVER TO YOUR FAMILY FOR A DINNER
-the whole getting ready together needed to be done twice as he leaves your hair dishevelled and his shirt wet around the wrist after fingering you for being so good to him as he slips the plug inside you
-he would be so smug the whole evening, noticing how you shift, favouring to lean more on one side than the other, legs crossed, all to keep some of your weight of what’s hidden beneath the innocent-looking dress
-he would definitely join you in the kitchen once you finish helping your mother dish off the table, offering that he could take over her role and let her rest sweet talker Riley initiated, receiving endless indirect praise from your mother as she gushes what a man you've found to you as she wanders into the living room where you dad is
Though smiling at her until she disappears, you were suspicious of Ghost's intentions, only to be proven right when rather than fetching the desserts from the fridge, he circles his arm around your waist. 'Does your daddy know his little princess likes jewels up her arse when she gets fucked? ’ As the whispered words curl over your ear, his hand slide down the curve of your ass, making you straighten. The once cold but now body-temperature metal inside you was all the more noticeable even if Ghost didn’t toy with it like he loved to do while having you bent over in front of him.  ’Simon, behave’, you scolded him in a hushed voice, starting to regret that you let him convince you to do this. His lips brushed the shell of your ear as he chuckled. ’Don’t play shy now, lovie, you didn’t seem to mind one bit when I worked it into you earlier' . Your hand shot to his thigh, nails digging into the meaty muscle as Ghost cheekily slipped his hand to brush beneath your rear, fingers spreading wide as he pushed his palm up, jostling the plug nestle inside you. Your head snaps to the side to look over your shoulder, all of a sudden worried either of your parents had entered the kitchen again without you noticing. 'You said you wouldn’t tease', the sentence was whiny, rushed, as you looked at him now, a slight scowl on your features despite neither your mother nor father standing stunned in the doorway. ’Impossible to when knowing what a pretty sight will greet me when we get home'. Ghost wasn't sorry at all, only a devilish smirk meeting you as he spoke in a husky voice. 'I can very well leave you high and dry once we get home'. 'Getting feisty? Hm?' There’s a dark glint in his eyes as he leans down to your ear after licking his lips. 'We both know you’ll be dripping once we get back, dirty fucking girl getting off on having matching jewellery around her neck and inside her that no one but I know ’bout”.  He presses a kiss to your bare shoulder a your mouth falls open, as if the gentlemanly action would soothe the burning desire he ignited in you and leaves you with as he pulls away, retrieving the dessert your mother raked earlier during the day.
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fawnpires · 1 year
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SEEKING HEAVEN — SIMON "GHOST" RILEY.
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꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ synopsis: with two kids and a drained father's responsibility, he wasn't completely certain on the idea of becoming a father again; until you brought it up.
꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ contents: single dad!ghost, afab reader (afab anatomy, femme petnames), daddy kink, dirty talk, spit kink, creampie, age difference, breeding kink, mentions of pregnancy, possessive!ghost, rough sex, multiple orgasms, belly bulge, neck biting & kissing, overstimulation.
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Ghost wasn't the one to be a father, a parental figure to any child at that. He thought of himself as too brutal — too much violence and the blood of men tainting his hands to take on a role of a more softer, paternal nature. Although, once in a relationship with you, he had already had two girls of his own and all of those second-thoughts were pushed into a consideration that he thought would've never crossed his own perspective.
The thought of giving you a family, which had been brought up by yourself a couple times on occasion, was a constant thought in his head; even if he wasn't fit for it. He loved it — the concept of bending you over any kind of surface or even up against the wall to breed you, your cunt so full and stuffed around his big cock that was enough to put you under a trance of euphoria. How your moans and noises of pleasure would be so soft and beautiful to his ears, a symphony of angelic sounds that spill without shame. On his end, instead grunts would fall from his lips and twist with your own noises like a distorted harmony.
He didn't care if he didn't want it — to be a father again, to have a few more children. He would be on his best behavior to teach himself on how to put himself in that right position, mastering it overtime just to have that abstraction of a perfect, little family with his most beloved girl.
The clustered up thoughts made him act like a teenage boy again. His throat dried, drool pooling inside his mouth, eyes blankly boring into the nearest wall to project these thoughts into a mindful image.
"Simon?" your voice speaks like an echo, like an out-of-bound tune while your arm grasps and shakes his forearm a little as you settle on his lap, "Did you hear me?"
He would surge from the state of distraction, blinking slowly at the aimed wall before he rests his sights on you. His hand rests at the lower section of your back, the lids of his eyes half-lidded with a touch of his darkened pupils behind them. You slope your head to the right of your shoulder, the skin around your eyes creasing with the small grin perched on your lips. A faint laugh hushes at the back of your throat as the hand at his forearm loosens up, fingers brushing at his tattooed flesh.
"I'm sorry, angel, what were you saying?"
"I want a baby, Simon." you near-whisper, "Your baby."
Through that mask, concealed and veiled, you knew and it was clearly obvious; the way the fading black pigment alluded to pale skin complimented his dim eyes with an assumed hidden grin. The hand at your lower back starts in circles, gentle and careful.
"You really want that, lovie?" he asked, the globes of his eyes examining over you. For a while, you're too lost in him to answer — putting thought into the reply. He's patient and only handles you like porcelain on his firm lap, cradling at your body with a single arm at your back.
You close the last gap of space between you and him. "I really do," you said with a tone of half-desperation, "I really want this."
In hesitation, he clenches his jaw and bites the skin of his inner-cheek. As much as he was lacking the confidence to step into the role as a father yet again despite being low of the built-up responsibility, that doe look in your eyes was hard to deny or even ignore past right in front of him. Abandoning his life of barbarity and military could be easing, he thought, something to distract him. Easily, he gives in with a heavy huff under his breath and pulls you right against him.
"If that's what you want, doll..." he said, "Then be it. I'd do anything to make my sweet girl happy."
-
With the open expanse of where you two previously resided, it was just no good for the privacy of trying for a baby, so it brought you comfort that Ghost practically manhandled you from his lap and into his arms to the bedroom. He didn't waste time anytime throughout this; hence your clothes practically being ripped off of your laid posture at the center of the mattress. The next couple of hours are immersed in a room clouding in the atmosphere of sex; sweat, that fulfilled symphony of pretty moans and grunts, and the intoxicated high of lost-counted orgasms.
Your legs have gone sore and completely influenced with a numbness from being mantled on his shoulders for some leverage. His bruising fingers needled into your sides each time he pumped his cock up into your sensitive, soaked cunt along with a low grunt.
"You still doing okay, love?" he grunts while eyeing your bare figure through his half-lids. One of his hands move up to your lifted leg and strokes the skin gently, his head slanting forwards, the fingers from his other hand coming to lift the bottom of his mask to the tip of his nose before resting back at your side. An amount of spit dribbles from his puckered lips and right at your already-drenched, puffy lips. You whimper at the sensation, your noises ultimately evolving into a whine while he pulls out and uses the head of his cock to smear the spit that rests at your cunt.
After a few moments of smearing and whimpering, he finally plunges himself back into the warmth of your walls yet again. You're tight again, squeezing around him and savoring each vein and pulse when he's inside. His head slightly rests at your leg, gathering the chance to leave a trail of kisses at the sweat-sheen skin.
"Always so welcoming for me, so tight and ready for me to fill this sweet pussy up. Is that all you want, yeah? For me to stuff this pussy and give you my babies? You want me to stuff this cunt all full of me, doll?" he questions with a heavy accent, almost taunting. "Tell me, use your big words, honey."
"Yes! Daddy... please, want your baby so bad." you drag out your words with a followed whine. "...wanna be your girl forever."
His slower, subtle thrusts advance into more aggressive and ones full of brutality at your pleads. Your fingers grip at the crumpled sheets below while pushing your head back up into the cotton of the pillows. He hunches over you and blankets your entire structure, his lips meeting yours into a sloppy and vile manner.
"Yeah, angel?" You wanna be my girl forever?" he asks and you nod fervently with a hum, "That's right, I know you do. Going to be such a good mommy, so pretty all round for me."
He straightens himself back up and adjusts your legs that hold up at his shoulders. Heaven was the perfect word to describe the ongoing situation at your thighs; his moans right to your ears, the scent of his cigarette smoke and cologne all around, and the absolute condition of ecstasy he has you sent into for this time. A cuss is heard under his muffled breaths when his cock is felt and inched deeper into you, prodding at your cervix and suffocating in the comfort of your walls.
Through the aligning tears and blurred vision, you manage to glance down your body and make out the bulge that swells with each of his hostile thrusts. Shakily, you extend out a hand and press against the center of your stomach where that bulge is most visible. He pushes your hand away and does all the work for you — both pressing on the outline of his cock at your stomach and pounding right into your sensitive cunt. Your arms go limp to your sides, nails etching into your palms.
“You look so pretty like this,” he breathes, “All for me. Just for me.”
A whine comes into response, since it was all that you could give — that, or it was a moan or a whimper. Your insides feel raw, battered with each harsh pump of his cock up into you. There’s an ache but soon subsides with the rest of the euphoric waves that you fuel on. Your hands find purchase around his torso, practically forcing him to hunch back down over you while you dragged your nails down the naked skin of his scarred back. Marks that almost gleam of blood adorn him. In return, he tilts his head to your neck and kisses the skin before baring his teeth into the skin and gently lapping over the marks with the muscle of his tongue.
“You wanna come for me, sweetheart?” he said, eyes to yours while his palms were flat at each side of your head, “I know you can, I’ll fill you up and you’ll carry my most perfect babies. The perfect mother to my kids already, our kids.”
Your cunt squeezes around him like support, lines of moans falling from your tongue. His muscles are tensed, hips smacking against yours in an aggressive manner which happens to stimulate your clit all at the same time.
You breathe. “Simon, daddy… fuck,” you quiver, “Please fill me up, want that so bad. Fuck me full of your babies, please…”
“Is that it, angel? You want this?”
“Please!”
His hands move to grope at your breasts, then moving up to your face where he caresses the skin lovingly. A chorus of skin-on-skin, his entire upper-half bowed over you, your face tucked into the crook of his shoulder as the fabric of his balaclava rubbed into the side of your face while his exposed mouth kissed at your neck. Every short of a thrust into your cunt only caused your fingers at his back to tear into the muscles of his back.
"Keep your eyes on me, sweetie." He hoists himself back up to give a better perspective of you underneath, your legs frail on his shoulders while your head blurs of bliss and a faint dizziness, persistent gasps streaming from your mouth. Your body stutters every so often with his own. "Just like that, want you to look at me when I fill this pretty pussy all up, put a baby in you-"
Your stomach spasms at his praise, his words of promise. There's a sensation of fragility at your cunt once your orgasm is brought down upon your body, only managing a mere noise that is ripped from your throat — something between a loud gasp and a whine. Your cunt compresses around his rapid, pulsating cock as your legs seem to go stiff. A burst of liquid is aimed, flooding your walls and extends to an area much deeper, his load is thick and gives warmth to the inside of your cunt. It feels at your womb, that scorching and sticky caressing every crevice.
His leftover breaths stroke at your ears. Ghost gives you a few more rams into you, the combination of your arousal and his load leaking at your inner sides. He soon pulls out and sits back on his heels, allowing your legs to collapse from the cliffs of his shoulders and rest at each sides of his hips. For a second, he examines over you with an admiration; you were truly an angel to him, holy and glowing with the remnants of your orgasm still intact. With your eyes in half-lids and mouth agape accompanying quiet breaths, chest hauling with each of those puffs — he throws his head back and brings in back into position before stretching out a hand to pet at your hair.
You submit into the touch, humming a little while you whimper at the feeling of his load leaking out from your cunt. He eyes this, trailing the hand at your hair down your chest, then your stomach, and between that sensitive area between your thighs. His fingers toy with the fluids and run them at your puffy lips, pushing the two digits into your cunt that had been stretched by a few after his cock had pounded into you for a long duration of time.
"Mmph," you hum, "Too sensitive, daddy... can't do more." Your weak hand drags down to your thighs, where his hand and two fingers were stimulating your cunt, wrapping trembling fingers around his wrist in an attempt of a puny clutch.
He chuckles, deep and rough from his chest. "I know it hurts, honey, but you can do it." Ghost uses his free hand and rubs circles into your hip. "You're my big girl, you can handle it."
Before you can give response, he shuts you up with his thumb pressed to your swollen clit. You arch your back off the mattress a little and whine into the air, eyes nearly rolling back into the region of your skull. He watches over you, then fixes back to your cunt where he pumps the residues of his heavy load back into the interior of your cunt. His fingers are no comparison to his cock — pulsing, enhanced of veins which pump into your tight walls — but it gives you the right amount of pleasure that both stings and forces you back into a euphoric state. (No wonder he already had two children of his own with this authority to bring so much pleasure down onto someone.)
The pace of his pumping fingers speed up and another is added in addition. Through all this time, his eyes linger on you and fixate permanently on your whole being. With your bare anatomy laid out in front of him like this; he had no doubts on you being the mother of his children, certain that you were going to bear his children and be that maternal figure. He was obsessed with you — and you were as haunted with his genuine allure.
You gape at the ceiling through a languid-like stare, eyes twitching and your body arching in an impossible curve when he not only uses three of his fingers to restore that feeling of rapture — but the muscle of his tongue lapping at your cunt, swiping at your puffy lips and clit where his thumb presses in circular motions. Once again, your stomach tightens in a knot and your head pulses. His eyes peer at your through the holes of his balaclava and observe with adoration.
"I'm gonna come, Simon, fuck!-" you gasp, thighs squeezing around his head, legs spreading apart and welcoming more of him to please you.
"That's it," he breathes, continuing his overstimulating ministrations, "Come one more time for me, bunny, show me who gave you a baby — who never fails to satisfy you."
On his command, there's a strike of white and a dimmed perspective of the room's ceiling. The knot in your stomach unbinds itself and a rush of fluids gush out between your legs — soaking onto his tongue and working fingers. Your arousal stains the fabric of his mask and the naked section of his mouth, prior to it being pushed back inside of you with his stored load. His tongue laps up a few more times up your lips, withdrawing back from you and putting in some time to catch his breath and build-up some stamina.
You feel bloated. Full and stuffed with all of him, his palm splays out across your stomach sticky of sweat and he moves up your body. He settles at the headboard and you rest your head at his chest where he pets at your hair in soft strokes. The waves of his breathing patterns cause your head to raise up and down, heartbeat smacking through the skin of his torso in vibrations.
With your single index finger, and some following eyes, you trace the outlines of his glistening abs and then dangle down to the tattoos of his left forearm. He presses his lips to your scalp and proceeds with the fondles at your strands of hair. You take the wrist of his hand that was used at your cunt, taking two of his used fingers and tasting the combination of his and your arousal. Ghost grunts a muffled noise at the back of his throat, his stroking hand becoming more firm.
"God, you're a fuckin' minx, you know that, bunny?" he utters, "Such a perfect girl for daddy."
He moves his fingers around your mouth, pressing on your tongue as your hand is tugging at his wrist, muffled moans around his digits. "My pretty girl, soon-to-be-mother of my children."
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yawnderu · 6 months
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Doomed — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader | Happy Ending
Happy ending of the Doomed fic based on this idea by @actuallyhiswife from this post!
Black. It's all you can see, all senses numbed by the water sneaking into your lungs, burning everything in its wake like a raging fire. You can feel it— her pain is your pain, his distress while he holds the body of his lover is just as yours, even when you don't recognize these people.
''Shh, s'alright love, I'm here.'' Simon's deep voice snaps you back to reality, your lungs greedily taking in the air like a man starved. You suck in a sharp breath at the touch of his bare fingers against your stomach, one of his bloodied hands coming up to cup your cheek while the other one applies pressure to the bullet wound.
"What h—" A groan takes over your sentence, face scrunched up in pain as your brain finally registers that you got shot. Blood pours out of the wound no matter how much pressure his strong hands apply, now using both of them in hopes that'll keep you alive.
"Stay with me." It's not an order, it's a plea, tone laced by pure desperation. You cry out as the bullet digs deeper into your flesh, tears already falling down your cheeks at the pure agony, body growing weaker and weaker as the blood pours out of your body.
"Simon." You call out softly and he ignores it, refusing to let you go. Refusing to let the sun that casts away his shadows go. Simon finally had one good thing in life, and he'll be damned if he ever lets it go.
"Simon." You call out again only to be ignored. Your bloodied hand manages to drag its way onto Simon's forearm, squeezing gently to get his attention.
"I love you. I'm sorry we—" A choked breath escapes his lips as he takes in your image. Roughed up and dirty, yet still the prettiest fucking thing he's seen his whole life.
"I'm sorry we can't go pet the fluffy cows in Scotland together." A small laugh manages to come out of your lips, followed by a cough. He recognizes that look in your tear-covered eyes, the way you're trying your hardest to fight death barehanded... and somehow winning.
''We'll go pet those bloody fluffy cows, love. Just gotta stay with me.'' You nod again, a small smile settling on your lips as you think of the brooding soldier petting the cute, fluffy cows. Animals seem to love him no matter what, so the image of a giant cow resting its head on his lap is not that farfetched.
''Trying, L.T.'' The nickname manages to make him roll his eyes despite himself, playfully flicking your nose before his hands go back to applying pressure on the wound.
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''Si, look!'' Your excited laugh gets his attention immediately, watching you run towards the highland cattle Johnny's family owns. He jogs after you, a small smile tugging on his lips when the cows simply allow you to pet them while they eat, not at all bothered by it.
His bare hand joins yours, matching rings decorating both of your fingers as they run through the hair of the animal.
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bits-and-babs · 11 months
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 — 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍 ‘𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓’ 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘
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synopsis : photographs from a gangland crime scene just beyond mexico's border send ghost into a spiral. as his superior, you feel it is your duty to bring him down from delirium by any means necessary.
pairing: simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader (colonel)
warnings : 18+ mdni. heavy use of the canon comics, gory imagery, mentions of torture, brainwashing, corpses. ptsd, delusions, simon in a submissive headspace. d/s themes, softdomme!reader, praise kink if you squint, oral (f receiving), fingering, cumming in pants, i wanted to write simon as a sub so i fucking did. please note this is a fic about using sex to navigate trauma. it will not be for everyone.
ghost masterlist ୨୧ main masterlist ୨୧ join taglist ୨୧ ask
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He's like a spectre in the back of the briefing room, his shadow looming over the gory photographs spattered over the table and smothering the map beneath them. Snapshots of gruesome, twisted corpses reflect in the honey liquid of his irises, his usually expressive eyes made mute by the ghastliness of the savaged bodies.
Ghost's vast frame appears to shrink the longer he gazes at the glossy, printed pictures. 
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Price continues his mission briefing. His forgotten cigar smoulders in the cigarette dish placed haphazardly over the map, ashes building an eminence of embers on the glass platter. His tar-drenched lungs rasp as he talks, gritty voice booming as it ricochets from the walls in the tiny box room. 
"Intel confirms a congregation of armed cartel members just beyond the Mexican borde-…."
Leaning against the wall, Ghost's shadow retreats from the tabletop and slinks back into the corner. He crosses his arms over his vast chest, charcoal grey fleece sleeves pushed to his elbows to expose the ebony ink scrawled across his chalky skin. His scarred knuckles bleach when he tightens his grip on his bicep, silently stewing in his own conviction. 
He knows. 
It's as though you can see them play like a film reel in his gilded irises, flickers of his trauma in Mexico. Ghost's file had been heavily redacted during your time as his equal, reams and reams of black ink ribbons distorting the writing and camouflaging his colourful history. Serving alongside him, you learnt that the SAS Lieutenant approached conversation similarly, censoring himself by remaining relatively silent. 
Since your promotion to Colonel, you had gained access to transparent files and learnt precisely why Simon' Ghost' Riley kept mum about his time in Coahuila… You'd seen those gnarly scars, pink and magenta and silver welts that raised or gouged into the porcelain of his pale skin. Yet, the answer to your concerned queries was always a singular, gentle remark. "Classified." 
Ghost's attempted brainwashing and the ultimate death sentence were confidential. He'd never told you that the scent of the decaying body of his Judas commanding officer, Vernon, had clung to the walls of his nasal cavities for weeks after escaping the coffin. Never revealed the way his hand sunk into the putrefying corpse when he attempted to break his way out of the casket. Wouldn't admit to ripping the jawbone from the rotting carcass to pry open the lid. 
His reason for convalescent leave was also confidential. Extreme temper-management difficulties handing the vulnerable Ghost over to ex-teammates Sparks and Washington and the conclusive massacre of his entire family. Three generations, blown away with a bullet through the skull. 
And the man at the centre of it all, Manuel Roba, stared back at him in the pictures of horrid, mangled, ripped flesh littering the table and pinned to the map. Puncture wounds from being elevated on meat hooks, emaciated following daily meals of mind-altering drugs––
"Riley." 
Ghost's honeyed eyes dart from their fixated aim on the pictures towards Price. Concern furrows the Captain's brow as he observes Ghost's self-preserving body language. "You hearin' me?"
"Loud and clear, sir," Ghost's gruff voice rattles like gravel in his chest. His eyes appear hollow through the gaps in his ski mask, black grease paint making him look particularly gaunt. 
It's a split second, momentary, but Price casts a precautionary glance your way. You know that expression, can translate the concerned crevices on John's face; he knows. 
"... Good Hunting," Captain Price issues his dismissal, pointed looks urging the members of 141 out of the room quickly. The rubber soles of your boots stay rooted to the floor, gaze set on Ghost as the task force leave the conference single file. The Mancunian doesn't budge, his eyes aimed at their target on the table. 
It takes a handful of moments, Gaz and Soap gawping over the brutal torture details and Price urging them both with an insistence to 'shut up' that was far too authoritative for them to ignore. Then, finally, the door swings shut, clicking in place. Ghost blinks at the sound, a minute, barely there flinch that wouldn't register with outsiders, but you notice it. 
Silence creeps through the room and settles between you like a blanket of gunpowder, charged and ready to blow. Ghost's body is tense, oddly postured in an attempt to retain his intense emotions. 
"Ghost." You say his codename, and immediately he moves his head in a slight shake—a silent urge for quiet. He pushes his back from the wall, slowly approaching the table he had glared at for hours. 
"It's him, isn't it? Roba," Ghost's voice is tight with fury, those gravel pieces sounding a lot more like glass shards, "He's come back."
You watch, lungs seizing behind your ribcage when you hear him speak Manuel Roba's name. The vile man had lived like a ghoul amongst Simon's memories, fictitious as long as he remained unmentioned. Talking of him was almost like speaking the behemoth into existence. 
"I know you read the file, Colonel," Ghost spits through gritted teeth, reaching forward to pinch a photograph from the table. You see it, the almost imperceptible tremor in his fingers as he does. "He did this to us- Strung us up like pig carcasses-"
"I understand that you're scared-" You begin your attempt to ease the spiral that Ghost appears to be silently falling into, his almost normal outward appearance betrayed only by microscopic symptoms of panic. 
"I'm not," he insists, agitation edging his tone of voice as he holds up the image of a gutted corpse, "I'm not scared; you're all tip-toein' around this like I'm fuckin' stupid!"
"Riley."
The use of Ghost's surname makes the hulking mass of man stop in his tracks. He swallows the words he holds on his tongue, realising his disrespect to a commanding officer should not, and would not, be tolerated under any circumstance. 
Stepping forward, you gaze right back at the shell-shocked man before you. "Manuel Roba is dead. You killed him. You know this. Shot him right between the eyes."
You demonstrate the bullet trajectory by tapping between your eyebrows with your index finger, triggering a visual for the shaken Ghost to project the image of the slaughtered drug dealer. "The bodies you're seeing are probably a result of his control over the Zaragoza Cartel. Remnants of his fighters lashing out in a last-ditch effort to obtain some power." 
Ghost nods slightly, a singular tilt forward of his head as his hand lowers to his side, fingers loosening their hold on the gory picture so it falls to the ground. He clears his throat awkwardly, eyes following the path of the image as he casts his gilded irises to the floor. You note how vulnerable he looks, flayed raw by his memories and the stalking PTSD that had gripped him without detection.
"You're right. 'M sorry," he lets out a shaky sigh, chest trembling as he attempts to expel the tension in his chest, "Don't know what I was thinkin'."
You dismiss his embarrassment with a wave of your hand. "Don't mention it." 
"How much do you know?" Ghost asks, the question uttered in a whisper. 
You consider his query carefully. A good question. How much did you know? Had the files revealed the total of Ghost's catastrophic timeline from Mexico to Manchester? Or was there still unforeseen information hidden behind censorship walls that even you couldn't worm your way behind at this high a rank?
You're careful in your choice of words, attempting to curb any particular language that could trigger upsetting recollections. "I know Roba used to brainwash you. Drug you. Make you fight."
"And?" Simon urges you onwards, his aureate irises staring coldly at you through the blackness of the grease paint and mask–– awaiting the agonising stab of the truth.  
"He used to offer sex or death as a means of control." You carefully place your palm against his shoulder, a warm and weighty presence to help ground him as you speak. "Attempted to hardwire your brain to find arousal in fear."
Ghost swallows. You see the bob of his Adam's apple beneath the thick material of the ski mask. A minuscule quiver of his eyebrow indicates his inner turmoil, the usually composed and inscrutable Lieutenant Riley slipping away as you peel away each layer of his trauma.
"Do you still? Find arousal in fear?" 
Silence twists your stomach; Ghost's incessant, piercing stare causes the hairs on your forearms to stand up. 
"On your knees, Riley."
"Yes, ma'am."
Simon sinks to his knees, slow and deliberate, in a latent attempt to please you. It's as though Everest has crumbled, its foundations bending beneath its enormous weight. Simon is an unshakeable force, an indomitable summit, yet when his patellas hit the floor, his giant palms meet the edges of your thighs in reverence for you. 
His touch is precious and delicate with its weight–– not as though he's afraid he'll break you, but more like he's trying so hard to earn your favour as his superior. His blonde lashes dip low, heavy-lidded, unable to stand looking at your face when he's laid bare for you like this. 
"Please." When Simon speaks, it's as though the cocktail of gravel and glass shards has excoriated the walls of his throat. It's broken, choked and pitchy as he begs you. "Please."
"Please what, Simon?" You query, maintaining an even, commanding tone. His eyelashes flutter slightly, trembling so prettily for you as arousal floods his spine. 
"Please, ma'am. Can I be of service?" It's spoken through his gritted teeth as though he's mortified that he's voicing these torrid desires, even in the vaguest terms. You slip your naked palm beneath the woven canvas of his mask, clutching his jaw and forcing his face upwards. 
It's amusing, you think, that Simon believes himself unreadable as long as he wears the skull mask. It couldn't be further from the truth. His eyes are so expressive, constantly betraying his innermost thoughts without even exposing the expressions of his visage. 
The probing gaze you offer him has him twitching in his camo cargo pants. You see his thick length bob against the fabric, aroused by the ease with which you read him. 
"Is that what you need, Riley?" It's rhetorical; you both know it. He's never required anything so desperately in his life. Simon had been lost in the Congo jungle without food for weeks and escaped a kidnapping attempt that had him stumble through the Iraqi desert without water, yet he looked at you with those keening eyes as though he'd die without a taste of you. 
"Tell me."
"Yes," he gasps, inhaling sharply as though he'd forgotten to breathe, "Yes, ma'am. Please, I need to tast––"
Simon barely manages to finish his sentence before he pushes his trembling fingers beneath the hem of his mask on his throat, shoving it over the point of his chin and balancing the bunched-up material on the bridge of his nose. He groans out as he fumbles with your khaki belt, unwinding it with great difficulty. 
While Simon busies himself with your zipper, your fingers delicately trace the silvering scars on his throat, many of Manuel Roba's love letters to evil etched into his ivory skin. The files had labelled each laceration and its cause; S2 below his chin issued by a butcher's knife, S5 against his clavicle the product of a dagger during a spar with another brainwashed hostage. You can't help but smile when your fingerprints find S7. 
"S7 - a two-inch superficial scar from a tricycle accident."
A desperate groan rumbles in Simon's chest when he shucks the waistband of your cargo pants over the flesh of your hips. Your hand quickly grasps the edge of the table when he buries his nose against your clothed cunt, your heavy-handedness knocking more of the long-forgotten gory images to the floor. 
"Fuck," Simon exhales, his warm breath fanning across the soaked fabric of your panties. "Thank you, Thank y- fuck."
Your gasp of pleasure catches even you off guard as Simon drags the flat of his tongue against the wetness of your underwear, a groan sneaking from his open mouth as he relishes in the taste. 
"This good, ma'am?" he breathes, hot and heavy against your core. He's desperate to please, a slight flush to the lower half of his cheeks that you can see. It takes you a moment to compose yourself, overwhelmed by the exposed flesh of his face. 
"Yes," you praise him as he uses his fingers to push aside the cotton in his way. "So fucking good for me, Simo-nhgn-" 
The tip of Simon's tongue seems to find your clit almost instantaneously, curling around the sensitive bud and teasing it as though he knew exactly what you needed. His moan is muffled and pathetic against your soaked cunt, lapping at your arousal and drowning himself in you. 
He keens when your fingernails dig into the soft flesh of his shoulder, digging reddening crescent moons into the skin. They blend amongst the charcoal of his tattoo sleeve, but they're there, little arches among the skulls, guns, and warfare. 
Simon paws at the backs of your thighs, spreading the wingspan of his fingers across the curve of your asscheeks and squeezes, using his hold to drag your body impossibly closer to his mouth. He nuzzles in, the tip of his nose teasing at your clit as he sinks the hot, wet flesh of his tongue into your entrance. 
"Hah-" you gasp out, Simon's moan vibrating against your needy clit forcing you to grind forward against his face in search of more friction. Your fingers find purchase in the fabric on the top of Simon's head, curling your knuckles around it but ensuring you don't lift the mask from his face. 
The Lieutenant feels your grazing fingers against his scalp, burying his face further into your pussy as he tastes your arousal from the source. He sighs heavily, shakily into your cunt as he savours the ambrosia on his tongue, greed forcing him in for more–– licking and tasting and sucking and swallowing more of you. 
"So good for me, Simon," you reward him, voice trembling as he assaults your cunt with his probing tongue. He retreats from the soaked flesh of your cunt to tease at your clit again. You can feel your pulse concentrating in it, thudding against his tastebuds. 
"Mhmm," he huffs, vast chest heaving with heavy breaths that add another layer of pleasure to your arousal as they waft over your wet pussy lips. You could cry when you look down at him, his eyelids drooping (one lower than the other thanks to the scar that ran across his left eyelid. "S4 - a superficial scar from a fist fight during detention in Mexico").
A single, calloused palm skirts around your waist, splaying wide across your lower abdomen as Simon feels the muscles beneath his hand tremble and tense at his ministrations. He groans again, his other hand teasing at your pussy lips from behind in a silent plea for entry. 
"Simon- Simon, do it," you urge him, desperate to be filled as he teased at your clit with his nimble tongue. You'd never had guessed a man so intent on disguising his countenance would have the perfect face to sit on. 
"Yes, ma'am," he responds, only momentarily before reestablishing the relentless rhythm of the swipe of his tongue. Then, without much warning, he sinks his index finger into your entrance. A delicate press of his fingertip at first, testing the waters, so to speak. Only when you let out a blissful sigh does Simon continue to ease the digit into you. 
His fingers are so thick. You stretch around him, your head dipping back between your shoulder blades and gasping a curse to the naked bulb hanging from the ceiling. The bliss that sweeps through you is overwhelming, toes curling in your combat boots as you attempt to escape the onslaught of pleasure. 
Simon won't let you. 
"Please," he moans in bliss as he pulls you closer again, your feeble body unable to fight his firm control when your limbs are gelatinous and malleable to his whims. 
His cock is bobbing beneath his cargos, a dark patch of precum soaking into the camo print. A flood of arousal drips through you, your eyes rolling back at the realisation that he might fucking cum in his pants, untouched, just with the taste of you.
"S-Simon-" you wail, losing all control as your voice cracks. "Right there-"
God, he ratchets up the intensity of your bliss by sinking another finger into you. It faces no resistance, sliding down to the knuckle with an ease that had you seeing stars when it pushes up against something utterly devastating within your abdomen. 
"There!"
Simon groans around your cunt, lathing his tongue over your throbbing clit with an eagerness that seems so alien for the stoic, unreadable Special Airforce Soldier. His fingers ease in and out of you ever so slightly, rocking back and forth against that mind-numbing spot inside you that has your knees buckling beneath your weight. 
"Oh my g-aha-" you choke on your words, both hands now fumbling to hold onto the table with a white-knuckle grip. Tension curls in the pit of your stomach, twisting and shape-shifting.  
You feel it before you hear it. The vibrations of Simon's desperate groans of bliss rock through your cunt before the sounds reach your ears, his mouth sloppy on your cunt as his own arousal begins to take root. The fingers not buried inside your walls take a bruising grip on your waist, branding you with his prints.  
He notches that paradisical spot inside you one more, and your failing knees quake at the vicious burst of ecstasy it unleashes. You moan loudly, the lewd sound wracking through your body as though Simon had just set off a stun grenade, light bursting through you with a crack. Your hips buck against his chin and nose mindlessly as you ride through the peak of your bliss. 
Simon lets his jaw hang loose, tongue flat as you ride against it— pathetic, utterly disgusting groans of delight drip from his lips as you use him. He pants, and you only just manage to force your eyes open as a particularly pitchy wail of your name to witness his undoing. 
His hips rock forward against nothing, just barely finding friction on the seam of his pants as his orgasm rocks through him. You watch his eyelids flutter and his brows twitch as he cums in his standard-issue military cargos. He slumps back slightly, jaw loose as he sucks in deep breaths. It's utterly unbecoming of someone who appeared so unshakeable, a submissive, needy man taking his place. 
At first, you allow him some space. The forceful inhale and trembling exhale of his lungs tick like a clock, in and out, in and out. Simon's hand delicately smoothes over the flesh of your ankle, a feeble attempt to feel close to you in this moment without overstimulating his vulnerable mind. 
When he lifts those honeyed eyes to you, searching for your comfort, you allow your palms to smooth down the fabric of his ski mask and offer him some privacy, restoring some dignity to the usually stoic Ghost. 
He leans into the weight of your palm for just a second. A barely there moment, like the grip of his biceps from earlier, the twitch of his brow. It fades quickly like his S7 scar, the dripping molasses of his eyes hardening beneath the skull image. 
"Not a word," you order him, tone aggressively authoritarian when you issue your directive. 
Ghost is glad for it, a curt nod of his head indicating his return to lucidity as he begins to rise to his feet. 
"Yes, ma'am." 
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moondirti · 2 years
Note
I love your writing ❤️ Can I ask, what do you think each of the 141 boys top kinks are?
thanks love! sorry this took so long, i was givin it some thought
characters included: simon 'ghost' riley, captain john price, john 'soap' mactavish, kyle 'gaz' garrick warnings: dacryphilia (mentioned sadism), gagging (spit and alluded breathplay), breeding (unprotected p-in-v and creampies), anal (lube/preparation, unprotected p-in-a)
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SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY: DACRYPHILIA
i've mentioned this before but i whole-heartedly believe that simon loves seeing you cry. he's not a good man, nor does he pretend to be – he's a sadist in many ways, and that extends to the bedroom, where, more than anything, he strives to find you writhing in half pain, half pleasure.
there are darker parts of him he tries to keep at bay; that instinct to push you to your limits - seeing just how far you can contort before you threaten to break, testing the give of your flesh and what it takes to pierce it. yet, no matter how much you beg for it - no matter what you say or do - he would never expose that part of himself to you. he’d keep it locked up, tucked between a rib and that doughy part of him that still rings with vexing guilt.
but drawing glossy tears to your lovely little eyes? fucking ragged moans and high-pitched wails out of you? it’s the perfect medium, a compromise he seeks almost every lay. simon would leave bruises, would push so far into you your belly bulges. he stretches you out, tender skin pulling with a fiery sting, and pinches your clit as you try to adjust. he leaves marks he knows will heal, but ones that ache enough to get you sniffing into the crook of his neck. 
and it’s when you’re all flushed out, lips swollen and salted water staining your cheeks, that he cums the hardest. it’s when you’re still hiccuping in the aftermath, tender, raw, does he opt to stay the night. just this once, just for the girl whose tears he both hates and adores.
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JOHN 'SOAP' MACTAVISH: GAGGING
it is without a doubt in my mind that i say: johnny has a major oral fixation. when people ask whether he’s an ass, tits or thighs guy, he has to turn them around to very intently point to that bloody fucking mouth of yours. it was the first thing that captured his eye – those lips smeared in lip gloss – and ever since then, he hasn’t been able to get a grip. 
because – listen – he’s messy. sex with him involves every fluid imaginable, puddled in curves and bends you always miss when washing up. the worst of them is spit; he’s a sucker for you all cock-dumb and drooly, stuffed chock-full in every single hole. when he’s ramming you from behind, he’ll always hug an arm around to reach your face, pushing three thick fingers onto your tongue until you’re gagging like crazy. he nudges your tonsils, allows you the space to breathe but not enough to swallow back your piling saliva. johnny doesn’t pull back until he feels it running down his wrist, until he’s coated in you absolutely everywhere. 
and it’s not just his fingers. he shoves just about anything down your throat. his cock, buried to the hilt so your nose smooshes into the crop of curly hair on his pelvis; your toys, right after making you play with yourself; hell, there was the one time he’d been too impatient to get back home and pulled you into a public restroom. he’d fucking crammed your panties into your mouth to prevent you from making noise. 
he just likes seeing you struggle to fit them, issall
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CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE: BREEDING
at twenty-something, he’d made a list of things he wanted to accomplish in his lifetime and, while his career goals were rapidly realised, the domestic column went largely untouched for almost a decade. he thought he was past that point of adolescent naivete – having long since learnt to be okay with the way things are – but price isn’t getting any younger. when he meets you, that yearning for a family – a pregnant wife, barefoot and waiting for him, touched with a halo type of radiance – comes back twice as strong. 
he knows he can’t intentionally fuck a baby into you, not yet – he’s still in a position where he’s away from home more often than not. that being said, the captain certainly plays fast and loose with the rules. no condoms? mm, no problem, sweetheart. i’ll fetch you a plan b tomorrow, before pumping you full of cum. he thinks he’s discreet when he manhandles you into those positions, the ones where your bottom half is propped up, where your legs are pushed to your chest and his cock spears into unfathomable depths. he just wants you to feel every of him, promise.
but lord, does he lose it when he feels his head kiss the wall of your womb. It’s the sight of you, spread open and overflowing, globs of pearlescent spend oozing from a wrecked hole. it’s you smearing it into your folds with two quivering fingers and tugging him closer. price thinks he’s ready to risk it all – every ticked box, his career, his livelihood – to get to see you like that every morning, blushing with an early dawn, biting down on his shoulder to keep the kids from waking up.
for now, though, he’ll settle for fingering his cum back into you, knowing that it won’t amount to anything.
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KYLE 'GAZ' GARRICK: ANAL
often pegged as the most ‘well-behaved’ member of the 141, gaz just tends to keep things quiet. he hides his snickers with a cough, his sarcastic remarks are whispered to himself (unlike soap – who almost yaps about everything to the lieutenant). as such, his top kink happens to be more of a dirty little secret than anything. it takes him a while to admit it to you, but the thought of stretching your other hole drives him mad; his eyes always draw to the ring of muscle whenever you’re bent in front of him. 
he’s kind of ashamed, really. that is, until one slow afternoon where the two of you indulge in your routine of cuddles and shitty anime dubs. he’s got you nestled on his lap, curled under an old quilt that smells like sugar scrub and his aftershave. and maybe it’s the way your head tucks under his chin, or maybe it’s your legs intertwined with one another, but before he knows it, he’s grinding up into your ass and you’re reciprocating, panting as his hardening bulge cleaves between it. 
you know, i’ve always wanted to try something… next thing you know, you’re in your bedroom, pillow buttressing your hips as he slowly preps you. he’s got one hand spreading your cheeks, the other coated in lube, scissoring the unbelievably tight clutch of your ass. he’s leaking onto his lap, practically twitching, but he doesn’t want to rush. he takes his time unravelling you, giving you all the orgasms you need to let go of your tensions. only then does he finally, finally, split you open. 
and it’s beyond anything he’s ever imagined; your muscles are more controlled, stronger. you squeeze him with herculean strength, milking him for all he’s worth. gaz buries his face into your hair to muffle the satisfied groans that stream from him, taking you deeper, deeper, so that when he cums, you can feel it in your guts.
needless to say, anal becomes a regularity after that.
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on-a-lucky-tide · 5 months
Text
When Simon struggles, he finds Price for relief.
CW: D/s dynamics without it being explicitly outlined, blowjob, a bit of yearning Price.
Price looked up at the sharp rap on his office door and blinked out of the trance-like concentration that had kept him focused for four hours solid, without even a coffee break. The nearby clock said 0200 in flickering red numbers, which meant it could only be one person. No one else sought him out at such an ungodly bloody hour without an imminent mission.
"Come in, Simon."
The handle twisted instantly, like Simon's hand had been resting on it in readiness, and the looming figure of Ghost crossed the threshold. But it wasn't Ghost who needed attention now; Ghost was asleep, waiting for the moment he was needed once more, which had left Simon Riley to surface. The mask did little to hide the difference; Ghost moved like a force of nature, unrepentant and ruthless, but Simon... he moved like a man uncertain whether he was even real.
Price threw his biro down and leaned back in his chair, head tilted to the side. He knew that waiting for Simon to speak was futile; he never would, not in these fragile early hours when he was exposed like a raw nerve. So it fell to Price to take on the burden of deciding, just like in the field.
Price turned his chair to face to the side and Simon drifted over to stand before him, his fingers twitching at his sides in regular little ticks. The tension hummed off of him like radiation, a tight heat on a hair trigger. Price tilted his chair back, fingers twined together over his belly as he looked up at his officer.
Other than his mask, Simon had presented himself practically naked. Well, by Ghost's standards. Cotton shirt, trousers held up by an empty belt, not even a utility knife at the side, his boots were unlaced where he had clearly rolled from his cot and shoved his feet into them in a hurry. Price couldn't see his eyes; the light in the office was too dim, the battered lamp only enough to illuminate the dossier he'd been working on. The shadows hid Simon from him.
He spread his knees and dipped his chin towards the floor. "On your knees, lieutenant," Price said, and Simon obeyed. He dropped between Price's knees without hesitation, hitting the old rug with a dull thud. His shoulders remained squared, his arms rigidly at his sides, but now he was looking up at Price with doe-wide eyes, and Price felt the first stirrings in the pit of his stomach.
He made Simon wait as he evaluated those eyes, the only window he had into the man before him. They were still blacked out but the camo had partially smeared off in sleep; Price could see a few wisps of a blonde eyebrow and damn if Simon didn't have the fullest lashes Price had ever seen on a man.
"The airport," Price said, and saw a flicker in Simon's eyes that confirmed it. "I see."
Price leaned forward and saw the first judder in Simon's composure; a hitch in his chest, a twitch of his broad shoulders. There was no point in telling Simon it wasn't on him; Price carried the rank so he carried the responsibility. All Simon would be thinking of was the families he hadn't saved; the stand-ins for everything he'd lost. Ghost understood; collateral damage, the enemy taking their pound of flesh. That was just what happened in the field. Simon needed help forgetting and letting it go, because he would never be able to understand.
Now, Price wasn't a fool. He knew they were one and the same man, but trauma did something to a man's head. Fuck, it had done a number on his that he was sure some army psych would take great joy in unravelling when it eventually all caught up with him, but they managed in their own ways. Simon has pulled on a mask and called it Ghost, because his call sign was the one defence he had left.
So, to reach Simon, the mask had to come off. Just a little.
Price reached forward and Simon flinched from his hands despite the needy jut of his chin. "Stand easy," he said, the words falling out naturally as they would with any twitchy greenhorn about to take his first jump. Calm authority. And it worked on Simon like a dream; his chin pressed into Price's palm and his shoulders eased.
Price held him there, letting Simon rest in the literal and metaphorical safety of his commanding officer's hands. He felt the warm puffs of breath from Simon's nose on his wrist, and squeezed only enough to feel the strong lines of Simon's jaw. A handsome bloke, if memory served. One day, he'd get this damned mask all the way off and admire it once again, even with all of Simon's past etched and burned into it.
Price hooked his thumbs beneath it and curled it up until it folded just over the tip of Simon's nose. Those intense eyes were flickering, alert, and Price let them settle again until he turned to tracing Simon's lips. They were so unique; full, pale, gnarled across one corner by the scar twisting from his jaw to his cheek, disappearing beneath the band of his balaclava.
Simon was breathing a little heavier; excitement, anxiety, it didn't matter, the body reacted the same. Hairs on end, goosebumps on pale skin. Simon wouldn't pull away, wouldn't stop Price at any point. In these early hours, Price could make him do anything, which was precisely why he couldn't. Simon would shatter and Ghost would be there to harvest the pieces, absorbing them until Simon disappeared forever. Price would only go as far as they always did, because he couldn't risk losing Simon. Not this way.
"You're a good man for coming to me," Price said, the low timbre of his whisper sounding loud in the small office. "Always so good. So loyal."
Price tugged at Simon's lower lip and then stroked the pad of his thumb over Simon's teeth; Simon opened obediently under the lightest touch, and Price stroked his tongue, cupping that strong jaw as Simon surrendered to him, each breath coming easier. "Good, lieutenant. Come on, show me what you want..."
Simon's eyes flickered and rolled, his mouth closed only to suck Price in as far as his thumb would go, those full lips pressing down to his palm with the softest groan as the last of Simon's hesitant restraint tumbled away, like glacier ice cracking off a distant mountain.
"Ahh, there you are, Simon. Good boy." Price pressed a little on Simon's tongue and looked down between his knees. The front of Simon's trousers were bulging out, but his big hands remained firmly on his thick thighs; thighs that Price would give his damn pension to have wrapped around his waist, they would snap him in half and he'd be bloody grateful for it.
The heat under his own skin throbbed warmer and he spread his legs a little further, yielding space to his hardening prick. As if he could sense Price's building arousal, Simon sucked harder, his teeth grazing Price's skin. "Hmm, eager to please, I see." Price pressed down, urging Simon's mouth open, as he pulled at his belt and button. It took only a little fumbling for him to free his cock, the shaft sitting over the elastic of his boxers and dripping shamelessly. Price grunted, a little abashed at his own eagerness. "You do things to me, lad."
Simon's eyes flickered between Price's face and his prick, his tongue wriggling beneath the weight of Price's thumb. "Fuck," Price breathed, fingers tightening on Simon's jaw once more. He eased thumb free and then his foreskin back until his frenulum could tease over the soft, supple skin of Simon's lower lip. Simon held fast, his eyes not leaving Price's face, and Price let him see the pleasure, the admiration.
He teased himself on Simon's lips, rocking backwards and forwards, leaking into his lieutenant's mouth until Simon's tongue was saturated in scent and taste. Price couldn't deny the feral attraction of it; of having Lieutenant Simon Riley on his knees, Ghost tamed into quiet submission, all that power coiled away, and the man himself so desperate to submit.
Simon's tongue curled up to press at Price's slit and Price groaned as his glans yielded to the tip of it. "Impatient, as always," Price said, the words croaked through a miasma of listless pleasure. He leaned back and drew Simon with him, sliding that hot, eager mouth down his shaft. Price wasn't sure what was better; the wet, needy heat that swallowed him to the root, or the way that Simon's eyes rolled back into his bloody head.
Simon pushed his nose to Price's groin, his throat spasming reflexively. "Steady," Price managed, checking the swell of his own excitement as his balls pulled tight. Fuck, so soon? His own bloody thoughts had ridden him to the razor edge and Simon hadn't got his fill yet. Price let his head fall back and closed his eyes, but his hand stayed on Simon's chin, not guiding once Simon had slowed so much as holding. He pressed his thumb into Simon's cheek and felt his prick slide through Simon's mouth and it was almost enough to shove him over the brink.
"Bloody hell," Price hissed through clenched teeth as Simon drew off to lick through his slit again, seeking that concentration of taste and arousal. He licked the thick vein that snaked up from the base, finishing just shy of the tip and then slowed. Slowed right down. Price played with the fuzz of blonde hair at the back of Simon's neck, revealed as his mask hitched a little higher, and felt the cooler tip of Simon's nose at the cusp of his boxers, the puff of hot breath and another deep, guttural groan, and Price's stomach bunched tight.
It was sweet, sweet torture, but Simon was teasing him deliberately, baiting him out for something a little more, and Price gave gladly. He pushed his lieutenant back enough to stand, before hauling him around by the chin until the back of his head pressed to the edge of his desk, cushioned by the meat of Price's free hand.
Simon's mouth hung open for him and Price thrust in deep with a low growl. Price rolled his hips slowly, savouring each drag of Simon's lips and tongue down his shaft, but he couldn't temper his pace for long. He moved faster, stopping only just short of ramming Simon's head back into his hand. Simon's eyes were closed, his body completely slack, and the absolute submission was enough to rip Price's orgasm from him.
His hips stuttered as he emptied down Simon's throat and the lad took it all, consumed every last drop of it, and Price once again revelled in the power yielded to him. He may never have Simon over his desk in the way he wanted, but fuck was he going to enjoy every shred of him he could have like this.
Price dropped Simon's chin in favour of propping himself up and watched as Simon licked absently at his softening prick, the sparks of oversensitivity leaping up his bloody spine like burning shrapnel.
When he was certain his legs would hold him, Price pulled back, returning to wipe Simon's mouth clean of spit and cum. Simon hung in his hands, soft and light, and Price stared at his lips. The urge to kiss in these moments after was almost overpowering, a breath between Price and the taste of himself in his Simon's mouth. Ahh, and there was the bloody problem. His. Not now, not ever.
Price swallowed and sat back on his heels, discarding the scarf he'd used to clean Simon's face, and eased Simon's mask back into place. He rose on aching legs, the afterburn of his climax making him a little dizzy. "Bed. Now. Mess at 0600."
Simon uncurled to his full height - all six-foot-giant of him - and left without a word. Price slumped at his desk and stared at the ceiling. The dossier would have to wait. He felt like he'd just run Test Week at double time.
***
"Ahh, L.T., bit of a wee bounce in yer step t'day. Get lucky at the bar?"
"Focus on the mission, Soap."
"Ahh geddit, you don' kiss an' tell, pwoper English gent."
As Ghost walked to the back of the plane, Price was sure Simon glanced at him from beneath that balaclava, but it was Ghost that rumbled through the intercom. "Ready, sir."
"Ghost takes point, radio silence until we rendezvous at agreed coordinates, go."
Ghost slid his rifle behind his back and threw himself into free fall.
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