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butterflysonnets · 3 months

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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

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isalabells · 2 months

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When we were starting, I was terrified. I've never been so terrified in my career. How do you take on 62, in Russia, speaking Russian? How has she changed? It felt like other than the essential core of who this person was, everything else was different. Trying to figure out how to navigate that over the course of six months, there were just days where it was very hard not to let the actual terror of that take over me. But I also think in some ways the fact that there was so much, there was just a certain point at which I was, you just gotta stop thinking about it and just d o. Every day, just do. It felt like the three seasons were about how the relationships had changed, and the confidence that comes with rising through the ranks. And this season I was just like, holy shit!

Wrenn Schmidt on playing Margo Madison in For All Mankind season 4

#when Joel said she should take on more jobs that scare her. FELT.#For All Mankind #forallmankindedit #Wrenn Schmidt #Margo Madison #'one hell of a performance from an actress I've never seen before' lmao FR who tf does she think she is!? god.#I am begging y'all pls keep challenging her. no more manic pixie dream girls and mothers for her or I will RIOT #OBSESSED with her saying adding the limp was all her idea. normal choice to make when you alreadyfeel overwhelmed with the task at hand.#(desperately need to know if she was an ER and/or House girlie as a teen/20something or if that's a remnant from her POI days.)#(Margo's full body turn because she can't move her neck is very Harold)

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pepperpixel · 8 months

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“Can't remember when we walked past the O.R. sign!

(sur-ger-y!)

Can't remember passing out with her hand in mine!

(my-my-mind!!!!)

I remember waking up with my mind repaired.

(A-OK! ^^)

I remember when I realized, she wasn't there...”

Amnesia was her name….. is. so. horrifically. sadly fitting for these two in literally every single line. And I’m gonna NEED ALL OF U GUYS TO GO LISTEN TO IT NOW OK… THIS ISNT A DRILL GO GO GO GO!!!

Anyway… uhh. the fact Betty “blessed” this guy to like. An eternally long lifespan w THIS FUCKED UP OF A MENTAL STATE IS SO SCREWED UP GHGH- Like poor Simon god damn…! u kno he’d rather just keep on not sorting out his baggage and trauma forever too cuz it’d be too complicated… too much… force him to admit things about himself and about BETTY that he really really doesn’t want to… better to just leave it all unexamined.. pack it all into lil boxes so he can just try to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist… HE GOTTA LIVE FOREVER W IT THO… *ME BANGING ON SIMONS DOOR AT 3 IN THE MORNING*: “SIMON U GOTTA ACCEPT URSELF!!!! LOVE URSELF!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE N ACCEPT EVEN THE “BAD” PARTS OF URSELF!!!! SIMON PLEASE!!!!! SIMON EVEN PPL WHO LOVE YOU AND WHO YOU LOVE CAN HURT YOU!!!! ACKNOWLEDGE IT!!! ACKNOWLEDGE THE HURT AND ACKNOWLEDGE UR FEELINGS!!!! AND URSELF!!!!! SIMON!!!!” anyway… gGHGH YEA, SRRY. SIMON PETRIKOVS MENTAL ILLNESSES MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IM GONNA EXPLODE. ANYWAY HAVE SOME ART. W a bunch of diff versions cuz I’m indecisive!

#adventure time #simon petrikov #betty grof #petrigrof #doodles #lol at tagging this petrigroff but nah I stand by it man!!!!#being a petrigroff shipper is understanding that I’m actually canon these two need som fuckin COUPLES COUNSELING. OR TO JUST BREAKUP.#like….. gGHG I LOVE BETTY BUT ALSO. ALSO… also…. these 2 have some issues… seperate and together issues. lmao #ANYWAY THO. ANYWAY THO. IM SO FUCKING EXCITED. I SAW THE NEW TRAILER. IM GONNA DIE. MY WIFE I GOT TO SEE MY WIFE #AND WERE ACTUSLLY GONNA GET SIMON MENTAL STATE SHIT YEAHHHHH!!!!#HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!!!!!!!#FIONNA AND CAKE DO NOT LET THIS NERD KEEP RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS FEELINGS FUCKING GET HIS ASS!!! MAKE HIM FACE IT AND WORK THRU IT!!!#pls!!!! if even Simon Petrikovs can start working thru his mental traumas there might be hope for all of us ghghg #uh but anyway yeah. AMBESIA IS HER NAME IS SO THEM.. STRAIGHT UP I FELT THE URGE TO EVEN LIKE. make an animatic for it!! it was so fitting!#im not gonna make an animatic cuz I don’t feel like it but!!! I saw it… I saw the animatic in my brain ghghg-#there’s a lot of typos in these tags but. just do me a favor… and pretend like there aren’t lol #fionna and cake #am I…. possibly…. projecting more mental trauma and issues on Simon. then he ACTUALLY has…#probably. yes. but!!!! he def still DOES have issues. I feel like I’m probably exaggerating the Betty ones cuz he #never really outright expresses feeling hurt by her. but also I feel like!!!! he’s the sorta guy!!! WHO WOULDNT EXPRESS THAT!#cuz he loves her!!!!! sO MUCH!! and she did so much and pushed herself so far and was trying so hard… and also she’s fucking basically d #dead now!!!! it’d be like. disrespectful of her memory…. to feel that. also what’s even the point of expressing that pain she’s gone!!!!!#she did all of that.. for him… how could he…. just. spit in the face of that #im writing those last few tags in the he perspective of simons mind btw… the things he tells himself….#anyway gGHG MAYBE I AM PROBABLY PROJECTING MORE ISSUES ON HIM THEN HE ACTUALLY HAS BUT WHO CARES MAN #I’m allowed ghghgh-#I wanna draw art of Simon having a traumatic flashback to the ‘Dont worry ull be obliterated soon!’ line and hating himself for it #ice king isn’t him!!! it isn’t him! it’s not him!!! why does that hurt it shouldn’t hurt she wasn’t talking to HIM #BUT SHE WAS #SHE WAS… she didn’t think of the ice king as Simon but he IS… HE IS AND JUST. URGHGH

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lavenoon · 9 months

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Kindled Spirits AU

Soulmate AU revamped with a Y/N <3

Basics: Soulmate bonds are 1) not necessarily romantic, 2) not a given and not always between just 2 people, 3) not necessarily reciprocal (rare, but happens) Basically soulmates are bonded via dreams - meeting within dreams, or dreaming of each other’s memories, anything in dreams is fair game Plays a year after the pizzaplex fire and given that I had the idea a good while ago none of the dlc is included in the premise, also bc this is based on an old self insert fic Y/N is extremely audhd because that I refuse to take out

Y/N has spent most of their life assuming they don’t have a soulmate, which is a relief because they’re plagued by nightmares/ stress dreams a lot. They got used to those, and when some other hazy dreams crop up later in life they don’t think much of it.

Then one night they dream of burning. An indoor playground, they stand in the middle of it, filled with hopelessness and self hatred they cant explain (the irony of Sun burning to death). They don’t feel alone though, and though they can’t see anyone else, they know someone else is there. It's both a comfort as well as agonizing, and the care for that other person is evident, despite the whole emotional cocktail. They go through the entire dream incapable of changing anything, and then wake up still feeling hot but also cold and clammy, phantom flames still licking at their skin. All while they cope with the idea that maybe they did have a soulmate, and that is now past tense.

For an entire year they go around thinking they witnessed their soulmate(s?) burning to death via dream, not telling anyone about it but carrying that guilt.

They move, and find a new job - the Pizzaplex is hiring! No one wants to be a security guard anymore after all that weird shit a year ago, so even though Y/N lacks the qualifications, they get hired. Rotating shifts, day (morning/ afternoon) and night. The first time they walk past the daycare, it flashes into flame - but no, that’s just coincidence. It’s the first indoor playground they’ve seen since then, it’s hazy dream memories worsened by guilt, it’s not the same.

Y/N befriends the daycare attendant, and the naptime attendant - they talk to Sun sometimes through the slide, and Moon usually bothers them on their security rounds. They do meet Sun first, after trying to be helpful throwing down some stray ballpit balls down the slide, and a curious Sun crawls up just to get a ball to the face. Y/N feels very bad about that, and given their lack of scripts for how to interact with animatronics, they just fall back on the scripts they already have. Sun doesn't seem to mind, so it's all good! Then one night they shout a belated "Good night!" down the slide, after the lights in the daycare have turned off, and barely avoid falling when suddenly Moon stands behind them, asking them just what they're doing. He makes his dislike of their flashlight promptly known, and then they have a menace of a shadow for their rounds.

That goes on for a couple weeks, until Sun asks them inside of the daycare to address a few concerns they could please relay to management?

And then the perspective is just undeniable. Y/N gets caught in the flashback, seeing it all burn again, and Sun startles them out of it. They don’t tell him. They can’t. But they realize that he’s been forced to work in a direct replica of the place where he burned to (temporary) death.

After that they keep trying to broach the topic of soulmates in general, but Sun and Moon are very much convinced that as animatronics they are not people, and they can’t dream anyway, so how would they have a soulmate? So silly!

Dreams and personhood are very connected in this AU - with dreams linking souls society just assumes that anyone without dreams is not a person. (Is this a societal issue for other humans who don't dream? Sure! People are people and will exclude others for any reason!)

Meanwhile Y/N starts having more dreams - they assume because now they live closer, actually met their soulmates, there’s less of a barrier to only have the super traumatic stuff make it into their dreams. In fact, they are kind of relieved that their usual nightmares are exchanged for extremely mundane “watching kids play in the daycare” or watching themself being bothered by Moon from his POV.

It’s a struggle trying to convince their soulmates that they are in fact people, while wondering if the bond is reciprocated because how would they tell? Sun and Moon can’t dream, there’s no confirmation that Y/N is their soulmate too! Lots of fear of rejection that’s holding them back here

But also some shenanigans at this time, like Y/N knowing that Moon follows them on their routes, and calling him out on it when he tries to stay hidden. He asks how they knew, and they bluntly reply “it came to me in a dream”. Moon laughs, then asks for the truth that they don’t know how to give after he rejects it so easily. They end up deflecting and he goes back to being a menace.

Also Y/N being somewhat anxious once they realize that Sun uses "friend" for many people (whenever they do see him interact with adults, which isn't often) and awkwardly ask for confirmation because oh no what if he's just being polite and they read too much into it? They almost regret it when he proves that Moon isn't the only menace and makes sure they know he considers them their friend after! Moon continues being a cat in his affections, so when Y/N asks him the same he ends up positively surprised, somewhat guilty (due to the secrets he keeps, and the danger he still believes he poses), but mostly ramps up the friendly annoying to the max

And then Y/N ends up impulsively telling Moon. He wants them to be joking - asks them to, even, to take it all back. When they refuse he reacts more in anger and accuses them of deluding themself, suggesting they need medical attention. They get angry then, too, because is he really telling them to go to a doctor after they confess something like this? It ends badly, with Y/N fleeing the scene and then avoiding both Moon and Sun for a good while.

Until Sun requests their presence about a “security issue” in the closed daycare, and Y/N goes even knowing he’ll want to talk. He’s concerned more than angry, but disbelieving all the same. Y/N’s patience is running thin when Sun, desperately, asks them just what they were dreaming about to be so convinced - what made them think they're linked to an animatronic like that? - so they tell him about the fire. They also tell him that they were telling the truth that one time with Moon. Sun (and Moon) get their own flashback, and Y/N ends up frantic, apologizing for bringing it up like that, while the boys are just terrified that

1) Y/N had to see that, experience it via dream

and 2) just what else could they have seen?

Moon in particular is terrified - he approaches them a bit later, asking about other dreams they might’ve had. Even says “they would have been nightmares”. He assumes that Y/N must have witnessed the virus induced murders and has no idea how to assure them that he’s not that, after he reacted in so much anger at their initial confession. His concern doesn’t really lessen, and more shifts upon being told that “I wouldn’t know, all my dreams are nightmares anyway”.

Mostly themed around growing closer after that, and working around “we don’t need to dream of you to know we like you, and we do!” as well as uncovering the past trauma Sun and Moon have gone through (and are going through, still trapped in the same building in a replica of where they burned).

Also Sun and Moon struggling to accept their personhood because if they’re people, then they are traumatized and were (and are being) mistreated for a long time, and that’s also hard to come to terms with. Some thoughts towards animatronic emancipation though I never got that far in the fic, so mostly comfort and slice of life as they work around the little bump in the road of their soulmate bond. Y/N opening up about their own dreams, and why it's so difficult to say they had any nightmares based on Sun and Moon's experience before the literal death experience not just breaking the ice but rather melting it at record speed

Would remain platonic/ ambiguous because it was very important to me that soulmates aren't necessarily romantic, and they all have bigger fish to fry than whether or not they'd like to go on dates - given that that's hardly an option while Sun and Moon cannot leave the Plex. The reassurance and relationship beyond the bond actually is the most important part, with Y/N admitting to both Sun and Moon and also themself that they enjoy having them as soulmates, of course! But they'd be friends with or without those dreams, given that Y/N initially approached them both before they even realized. Which is also a relief, because Sun and Moon do feel bad over not being able to confirm that it's reciprocated - they feel like it is, they want it to be (and isn't that the most important part?)! But they don't know. And that's okay - because they found each other, dreams or not, and they won't lose that <3

This is as much as I have right now, and as much as it'll stay for the time being! Enjoy <3

#post let luce #dcamv #kindled spirits #lmao have fun reading this whole thing is 1.7K words #and i mean. the doodles #speaking of.#my art #you can see the aroace (?) jumped out when I tried to make a soulmate AU I could stomach #needed to doodle something yesterday and just. kept thinking abt my year old abandoned self insert fic hfjdks #from before i even joined the public fandom too #felt like it'd be fun though #soulmate aus *are* fun but I also like looking at complications in them #so I made them hurt (:#a little. bc its me. so we get comfort #anyways yes #new au! enjoy! <3

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kaseyskat · 5 months

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since ive already been pretty open about this and im not afraid to whack a hornets nest i'll go ahead and say it: if you were raising a kid in a pseudo-apocalyptic setting and then you found out that said kid was going to be the one to defeat the eldritch god that you have tried to defeat for half your lifetime and could never manage. that she was going to FACE that eldritch god it was prophesied. you would teach her how to defend herself and how to fight. like god i am not saying hero's trauma from it wasn't justified because i do think the twins took it too far but the initial process of training her makes so much more sense if you approach it at the angle of "this kid is going to do something we've been trying to do since we were twelve and couldn't manage and we might not even be there to help her so we have to make sure she doesn't die in the process" and not "we're going to make her fix our mistakes" it makes sense. goes along with lark's running theme of not being strong enough in the moments that matter and wanting to make sure nobody else ever feels as helpless as he did when walter was injured. goes along with sparrow desperately tempting fate with normal's name- not because normal was an accident, but because sparrow never wanted to lose even one kid to the doodler and it was a fervent, desperate wish to let normal get to be normal

#dndads #kasey rambles #sorry im feeling especially spiteful today #cause again i do think. the twins get the least amount of nuance from the fandom #tell me how yall were just fighting for glenn so hard and then you turn around and tell me that the twins are evil monsters skahsdkfhkdhsf #like idk. it makes sense to me!#if hero was supposed to fight the doodler but they dont know WHEN it would happen. theyd train her early #make sure it was a fight she could win #and thats also why shes NOT in the chosen one position anymore #she wanted to leave and now that she could reasonably defend herself should she be threatened. its fine!#if they really only wanted her to fix their mistakes she would not have been allowed to leave. lmao #again this isn't to say that she wasn't traumatized from the experience like.#i think the twins shouldve been honest with her and there shouldnt have been so much pressure #but i get why they felt the need to make sure she could handle herself in a fight so early on #also like. this kind of thing happens in so many post apocalyptic settings its not even uncommon #yall just dont see this world as being post apocalyptic and it shows LMAO

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brookheimer · 11 months

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i feel very mixed on shiv's ending, particularly her choice to return to tom -- i think it makes sense from a thematic/character arc perspective and is a powerful yet devastating indictment of both shiv and the world that created her as well as showing that the cycle of abuse will always continue to cycle, that shiv will become her mother etc, but i also think it does not make sense from a character/internal logic perspective. it's a choice that makes sense from the writers, but not from shiv, not yet. it could've been a brilliant ending to her character, but is tainted for me by the less-than-ideal execution of it, which felt very rushed, making shiv's final submission to tom feel forced by the show rather than forced by the situation or honest to her character. the ending is not inherently misogynistic from the writers' side as i've seen some criticisms claim (it is a dark but real portrayal of misogyny within capitalist society and how it's internalized within the white women who end up at the hips of the CEOs who run it), but i do understand how it could feel that way. the show fails at building up to (and thus convincing us) that the version of shiv we currently know would so immediately subject herself to her mother's fate, so instead of it feeling like shiv's hand was forced by patriarchy to place herself into her worst nightmare, it instead feels like the show itself was the thing that forced shiv to take that route, which does leave a sour taste in the mouth. it doesn't feel like the result of a choice shiv would make or the impact of patriarchal society bearing down, it just feels rushed and thus wrong. shiv would've benefitted immensely from a few more episodes or even just a few scenes dedicated to teasing out her newfound willingness to subject herself to immense disrespect in order to remain close to power, but given that her entire character has always been defined by her inability to do just that unless forced to (which i don't think she was in this situation as she could've easily not waited in the car for tom, not put her hand in his, but she did), her return to tom feels hard to comprehend, and her near immediate submission to him hard to stomach.

(read more under the cut because jesus christ did this get long)

in my mind, at least, i've always understood shiv as being respect-driven rather than power-driven -- she wants power, yes, but more than anything she wants to be taken seriously and respected and seen as a legitimate player, and time and time again we've seen her blow up situations that would've been very advantageous long-term because she felt disrespected and needed to speak up and force people to take her seriously (which, ironically, typically results in the opposite). shiv's overarching goal is power, but her immediate necessity is always respect. her dignity is her number one priority at any given moment, even when it shouldn't be, even when it stops her from attaining the success and power she wants. i can kind of understand shiv going against kendall because of this -- she's always had a very, very narrow lens whenever she feels like she's being disrespected, and even though it is infinitely more humiliating for your (somewhat ex) husband to betray you and boot you out of the CEO position behind your back at the behest of your supposed closest ally (and for you to still vote for them after that!!!) than it is for you to magnanimously allow your brother to be CEO (which would publicly be seen as a choice, as telly etc said - sibs need to stand united behind one chosen CEO - rather than shiv being out of the loop and fucked to infinity), the narrowness of her vision upon seeing kendall about to win makes it impossible for her to think about that legitimately. it's not just jealousy, it's indignity: shiv feels she earned CEO through her machinations with mattson and feels genuinely sick seeing the loganified kendall grinning at the head of the table, hearing his "that's fucking right" and witnessing his cocky entitlement to the job that belonged to her. so, she does what she always does when she feels disrespected, when she feels her dignity is at stake, and impulsively blows everything to fuck, including her own best interests. that makes sense for shiv, at least somewhat -- i still think that as much as she wouldn't want ken as CEO she'd feel like at least w that outcome she'd be seen as a player and a deciding factor, whereas with mattson/tom she'd be viewed as a pathetic fucked-over nothing woman pawn etc (a situation of unparalleled indignity imo), but i can rationalize her choice to go against ken anyways as being part of the narrowed field of vision she always gets upon feeling disrespected by men in her life that makes it impossible for her to think strategically (and i guess even though the disrespect was greater and more humiliating from tom/mattson than ken, ken was the most recent most present and most lifelong source so that's all she could focus on; seeing him like logan was too much to bear). it's hard to imagine shiv publicly throwing her vote behind two men who publicly fucked her as humiliatingly as mattson and tom just did, even if the other option is kendall, but i think that's part of it -- it's fundamentally illogical, even from her disrespect-lens, because there's just something about kendall specifically being in charge that she's never been able to stomach. it's visceral and impulsive. it's not meant to make "sense." it's just what she feels she has to do to preserve her own dignity, even though it works directly against those same interests realistically. it wasn't executed very well, making it hard to entirely buy it given just how publicly humiliating the alternative is, but it can still be chalked up to her historically one-track-mind when it comes to indignity by the hands of kendall in particular. it's a last-ditch attempt for shiv to at least feel like she's maintaining her dignity, her self-respect, as counterintuitive as it actually is. it makes sense. i can stomach it.

again, shiv's fatal flaw (in logan's eyes and aside from her original sin of being a woman) has always, always been her inability to shut up and make the smart move in situations where she feels she's being disrespected or not taken seriously. if shiv stayed quiet during that dinner with the pierces, maybe she would've been logan's CEO, but no, she couldn't stop herself, she needed to feel she was being taken seriously, she burst out 'cmon, dad, just tell them it's going to be me.' she is unable to play it smart, to keep quiet, to win when winning means perceived disrespect. she's allergic to it. even on a personal level, she shoots herself in the foot constantly because of this: she is unable to let herself have the things she wants because she can't put herself in positions that open her up to disrespect and perceived inferiority. she can't be vulnerable because she needs to be respected. tom asks her if he could 'try to make love to her' in episode one of this season, and even though she clearly wants to, she says 'no, i don't think so, tom.' tom tells her he 'wants her, wants this' back in episode six, and even though she clearly wants that too, she draws back and says 'well then you shouldn't have betrayed me.' shiv is fundamentally incapable of allowing herself to remain in possibly advantageous situations when she feels at risk of being seen as lesser, of being disrespected, of being perceived as weak. that is her response to patriarchy. when patriarchal forces bear down, shiv is unable to grin and bare it -- she has a short fuse, a sharp tongue, and an inability to entertain even a second of being treated like The Woman, of being looked down upon, especially when it's for her gender. it's the one thing she cannot do, cannot let herself do, and it's why she fails to "win" over and over and over again. she shoots herself in the foot the second her patriarchy disrespect sensors tingle. she makes the wrong choice, the dumb choice, the one that makes her feel like she stood up for herself in the moment but ends up leaving her powerless and helpless in the end. that's the only explanation for why she chose to vote against kendall (the clearly better option for her long-term as she'd 1) be respected as part of the decision, as someone who helped choose the CEO rather than a Woman who got fucked over and had the door slammed in her face by her husband and close ally simply because she possessed a womb, and 2) probably be head of ATN or some other area of waystar, she'd have actual power within the company and be respected as a legitimate source of power rather than the CEO-to-be made CEO's humiliated wife -- if she was capable of making the smart, selfish choice in terms of power instead of having a hair-trigger reaction to gendered disrespect and cocky male superiority, she would have voted kendall. but she is not capable of doing that. she never has been. so she voted tom and mattson.

so what i still cannot for the life of me understand is what would compel this shiv, the one who cannot stomach indignity even when power's on the line, to immediately return to tom's side the second he beckons her, which is like five minutes after he becomes CEO (the job she was promised) by mattson (who gave it to tom instead of shiv because 'why get the baby lady if i can get the man who put the baby inside her?'). it makes perfect, cruel, devastating sense from a show perspective, and that's what most people are talking about, understandably. it's a devastating yet unavoidable, inevitable outcome. she's left with no other choice once she makes the decision against kendall, and patriarchy compels her to play the good wife to stay close to power. except, like... she does still have a choice. she does not have to go back to tom's car. she does not have to sit patiently waiting for him. she does not have to quietly congratulate him on his victory. she does not have to place her hand in his. these are all choices she made very voluntary. they're choices between maintaining her dignity and self-respect at the cost of future power versus maintaining the potential for future power at the cost of her dignity and self-respect -- the classic siobhan roy conundrum. she's been faced with it time and time again (even just five minutes prior with kendall) and she has never, not once, chosen the latter of her own volition. she hasn't been able to. that's her fatal flaw. maybe i could stomach her going back to tom if she didn't congratulate him, didn't place her hand in his when he expectantly held his out -- then some dignity would be preserved, maybe. but her complete and total submission for the sake of future power does not make sense with her lifelong inability to do just that. it makes sense that this would be her eventual endpoint, but we have seen nothing that implies shiv would so willingly subject herself to this feminine submission of wife and mother before person or source of power, to the complete and utter humiliation of being the quiet wife at the side of the man who knifed her in the back (and notably handed said knife by the man she thought her closest ally) in order to steal the job she fought for her entire life and, in her opinion, had earned. maybe she would come back to him eventually, for love or (more likely) for power, but it is incredibly hard to believe that shiv 'impulsive when faced with indignity' roy would be capable of immediately and publicly playing the role of the good wife after such intense and public humiliation at the hands of her husband.

really, the way i feel about the shiv ending is similar to how i feel about the daenerys ending -- unlike most people, i really wasn't that against the daenerys outcome. i thought it made a lot of sense and was interesting, devastating, and fascinating. i thought there had been a few signs all along and that that ending for her would make sense and be far more interesting than a Hooray ! Girlboss ! ending. however, it was poorly executed -- it was rushed. it did not make sense from where daenerys was at that point in the text. it could've worked, it could've worked brilliantly, but it needed more time to build and fester in order for her ultimate turn to feel earned rather than forced for the sake of the point the writers wanted to make. that's kind of how i feel about shiv. i get the ending and i don't think it's inherently bad or misogynistic or anything, but it feels like the writers saw the possibility for a shiv 'mommed' ending and immediately took it, with little regard to what actually made sense for shiv herself to do in that moment. outcome > character. that's frustrating for me particularly for succession because my like number one reason for adoring succession as much as i do is their consistent refusal to operate the way most media does (using the characters as instruments to achieve the plot/outcome the writers want), instead prioritizing following the characters themselves in a way that feels honest and real. it's character-driven, not plot or ending driven. i think that this fell by the wayside a few times in the latter half of this season simply because there was so much that needed to happen in such a short space of time (especially during the finale), but in my opinion, at least, the most egregious case is shiv. given more time, more development, more build-up, the last shot of her hand in tom's would've struck the chord the writers wanted it to -- and for some people, it did anyways! but for me, it rang out and fell nauseatingly flat. it felt hollow and wrong and unearned. shiv could end up becoming her mother, that feels entirely possible, but not in this particular sense, not yet. in what world would siobhan roy willingly choose to be seen as nothing more than a woman hanging off her husband's arm, especially when said husband had publicly humiliated her and ruined her entire life just five minutes prior? when, just five (metaphorical) minutes prior, she was the one poised to be CEO and everyone knew it? when now everyone will see her on tom's arm and whisper and gawk? she has become her worst fear, yes, but unlike kendall, it does not feel earned. it does not feel like she has actually become her worst fear. it feels like the show forced her to. not patriarchy or the situation or her own desire for power, but the show itself. that's what feels so shitty.

i wouldn't necessarily call the writing misogynistic as a result of this, as it's less a flaw of misogyny and more a flaw of bad, rushed writing that could happen to any character. it's the same as with daenerys -- although (somewhat unlike succession) there were many, many aspects of GoT's writing that were deeply misogynistic, especially in the last season (just look at fucking brienne), the core issue with the daenerys plotline is not one of misogyny but of time. they did not give daenerys the time needed to become the version of herself seen burning down the city. that could've easily been a focus of previous episodes, but it wasn't. they simply did not develop her enough for that turn to make sense yet. it could make sense, hypothetically, at some point down the line, but at that point it felt sudden, off-putting, and wrong. shiv could easily become her mother. that's been made evident especially regarding her relationship to pregnancy/children, love, and vulnerability (or the lack thereof). but for this ending to make sense, we would have needed to see signs of shiv imitating her mother's willingness to be relegated to the sidelines, to bring out the food while the men eat and make deals, in order to remain tangential to power. that is a concession shiv roy had never been willing to make prior to the last five minutes of the entire show. other signs of shiv imitating caroline or falling prey to patriarchal norms throughout the show are not enough to undo shiv's fundamental refusal to weather gender-related indignity even when doing so would benefit her. in my opinion, that's why the final five minutes of shiv's plotline were so unsatisfying.

shiv could become her mother, and her ending could be a devastating portrayal of the inability for even rich white women to escape their original sin of being a woman in a man's world, as well as a dark, ironic criticism of both women like shiv and the patriarchal world that breeds them into existence. but because the show did not develop shiv in this particular direction and because her entire character thus far has been defined by her self-destructive insistence on being respected at all costs, shiv's ending did not land the way it could've, or should've.

#WOOF okay this was long. not even gonna read it over bc if i do i'll never stop editing to it or adding to it and god knows no one needs tht #so if it's shit well. forgive me #but yeah this is just my take. i felt really unhappy w shiv's ending but didn't quite know why because the ending itself i can imagine bein #fine with but really i just feel very frustrated by the show writing over any agency she would normally have had in order to make their #point by the time the episode ended #honestly the more i think about it the more i feel this season should've had more episodes -- i think another season after this one would b #GREAT for me personally obviously but unnecessary for the show itself and possibly too much of a good thing #but at the same time the latter half of this season could really have benefitted from a little wiggle room and space to develop #so it wasn't just Sudden Mattson Likes Tom or Wait Did Mencken Disappear or Remember Roman's Sexuality or SHIV FUCKING SHIIIIV lolllll #ok. this is too long. post #succession #succession spoilers #long post #and i mean LONG #should i do a read more? i never know what the like courtesy is lmao #well . yall asked for it so here u go #shiv roy #succession meta #i guess #edit i did a read more this is disgusting LOLOL #100 #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy

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