#faes ted talk

[faeofmoons]

i have to remind myself that yamato isn't the cute and somewhat off putting girl caricature i created in my mind but an actual mentally questionable control freak who has murdered people with absolutely no remorse. and he looked good doing

#dislyte #dislyte yamato #i thinkof him everyday..... #but i have been focusing on feng xun a lot.... my sleepy princess. #faes ted talk #I need to draw yam again tho srsly #all i've been doodling was self shipping 💀

[taxidermieddoofus]

Okay. Can't get this out of my head.

Giant world, not too unlike our own, just a little more advanced. While humans are in the dark ages, giants are sliding into their 1930s. Odd, colossal, future-elves they seem like.

Humans who visit this giant world are usually witches. Most witches avoid cities and live in massive forests. However, some covens sneak into people's houses to take resources and find a steady place to stay with all the food and shelter they need. Giants perceive them, these flying magic using things hiding in their homes, as faeries.

Witches are to giants as fae are to us: mysterious little magic using borrowers from a different world.

#writing #writing prompt #giant tiny #giants #fae folk #faerie #world building #witches #witch #it's 1am #thank you for coming to my TED talk

[faenemy]

Gender (CW:Vent)

ive had gender dysphoria for almost my whole life, i never really felt like a girl even though thats what everyone called me. sometimes i did feel like a girl, but those sometimes were rare. others i felt like a boy, some weird third thing, or a combination of them. years later and i have words to describe those feelings, nonbinary and genderfluid respectively. so i started to call myself nonbinary, cause thats what i am most of the time, and i felt happier, i felt more free. then last night i was laying in bed, reading something, and i realized fuck, i am a girl, like in this moment i am. and it made me feel wrong to call myself nonbinary, because i wasnt. i felt like a fraud, but at the same time i was mourning that i wasnt, a girl. and then it hit me like a fucking truck. i had shoved myself into a box again. in my desperate attempt to make my existence describable to other people, i had made my own prison. i cried when i couldnt be nonbinary, i cried when i couldnt be a boy, i cried when i couldnt be a girl. i like it when things are simple, and im not found of change. but to be a person is to be everchanging, and maybe i can find beauty in that

i just think we all need a reminder from time to time, that lablels should help describe you, not feel like a box youre crammed into. i went to bed a she/her woke up a she/they and thats alright, it may be confusing to others, and not as simple as people would like, but it fits me perfectly, and thats what matters most :]

#vent post #tw vent #cw vent #fae rambles #tw gender dysphoria #cw gender dysphoria #genderfluid #faes gender TED talks

[the-bitchiest-witch-of-the-west]

Here, have a story time that ✨Nobody✨ asked for.

My grandma: Honey pick that penny up off the ground.

Me: Nana I can’t-

Grandma: sure you can, just pick the penny up.

Me: No. you don’t understand I can’t.

Grandma: Why not? I don’t see any reason why you can’t.

Me: Because I don’t take gifts from the fae nana. I’m not going to let a penny be the reason I end up dead in a ditch!!

Grandma: Darling are you feeling well? You’re sounding crazy..

Me: *sigh* you just wouldn’t get it-

She then proceeded to ignore everything I had just said, pick up the penny, and get in the car. I was hesitant to get into the car with her but alas she was my only mode of transportation so I had no other option than to get in. Within the first 5 minutes of being in the car I see, a small ball shaped grey light about 7ft in the air in the middle of a cemetery while at a stop light just hovering there which I knew for a fact wasn’t a spirit, and, A tow truck pull to the side of the road just to open the hood and the driver get a large puff of smoke to the face as he realized he had an engine fire. I was not about to find out what their 3rd reminder that we needed to pay them back was so I grabbed the penny she found out of the cup holder, rolled the window down, and chucked it as hard as I could. After that she got very angry with me and gave me about a 20 minute lecture on why I shouldn’t have done that but, there was no more problems on the car ride to our destination. Not a single threatening sight, minor inconvenience, or even red light. You’re welcome nana haha

In conclusion, please take this as a lesson on why you never take gifts from the fae. Idc if is something as dumb as a penny you find on the sidewalk trust me, don’t touch it.

Also, just because this worked for me this one time, doesn’t mean that it’s going to work for you or even work for me any other time. You never know when it comes to the fae so again

DONT TAKE GIFTS FROM THE FAE!!!

And always remember to give them their offerings to keep them happy and off your back. That was all, thank you.

#witchblr #witchcraft #the fae #ISTG IF I HEAR ABOUT ANY OF YOU ACCEPTING GIFTS FROM THE FAE I WILL BE WRITING YOU A VERY STRONGLY WORDED DM TELLING YIU HOW DUMB THAT WAS- #I would probably follow that up with ways to help get you out of that situation but still ILL BE PISSED XAUSE I WARNED YOU! #thank you for coming to my Ted talk. #and yes #my gran still has no idea what I was talking about and I will not be explaining myself lol

[achaotichuman]

Acotar Rant Time

Tonight I'm feeling the audacity, so I'm just gonna say it.

Feyre was far more respected and far more highly regarded in the Spring Court than she ever has been in the Night Court.

In the Spring Court, she was brought in as their last hope. The savior, the High lord's salvation. And she fulfilled that, she became their salvation, their warrior, the Spring Court's champion of sorts. She was the Cursebreaker. She may not have been High lady, but to be honest. She had the same responsibilities and expectations. She was second only to the High lord, and for a 19-year-old with no experience in politics, nor any knowledge of how the Court's function, those are some pretty damn high expectations. Everyone respected and adored her. They didn't want her to help with rebuilding because they respected her as a leader and wanted her to rest. If Tamlin became incapacitated for some reason or another, she would be the one to step up into his position. That was simply another responsibility and expectation she had, and the Spring Court didn't ever dare say she wouldn't be capable for the role because they trusted her to fulfill that to the best of her ability. They loved her!

Now consider the Night Court. The Night Court was the most closed off from Under the Mountain. Velaris never having even being affected by Amarantha, so they would've had no clue of what went on. Correct me if I'm wrong on this, but I do not believe the Hewn City was really touched, and Illyria had some join Amarantha to follow their High lord, but I believe they were fairly well off compared to other Courts.

So, no one really has any idea who the fuck Feyre is, she to them is just some 20-year-old High Fae girl who showed up one day. To the Hewn City she was brought in as a slut Rhysand liked to fuck. Are they supposed to respect her for that? She was dressed in rags in the same manner she was UtM, she was put on display as a pretty doll. Everyone hated her from the get-go and had no respect for her, because she was also condoning Rhysand's abuse to them. Making them bow to her and overall being a bitch to a whole city of people. The next time they see her she is suddenly High lady. Was that supposed to make them respect her? Of course, it wouldn't have! She joined in on abusing them, acting like a horrific person, and demanding they bow to her even though she had done nothing to deserve it. They only do what she asks because they have been taught to be terrified of Rhysand.

The Hewn City has no reason to think of her as their ruler. Feyre has proven time and time again she does not respect them, so why should they respect her? Most of Illyria most likely does not even know she exists considering how widespread it is. Not to mention Feyre also does nothing to help the woman abused there, so again, why should they respect her? Because self-fucking-righteous Rhysand says so?

And Velaris. Again, most of them probably don't even know she exists. And they also have no reason to think of her as their ruler, considering she has done nothing for them, and they would have never known how she broke the curse. To them, she's just another woman going about her day, no one special. No one they care about or answer to.

This post is not to say Feyre shouldn't have left the Spring Court. This is to say Tamlin is not sexist in any way. When he said High ladies did not exist that was simply a statement of fact and reassurance they would not call her as such as Feyre at the time did not want to be High lady. He put her in a high position of power and exalted her name. She was loved and respected by all, and there was no fear-mongering necessary to get her that respect, she earned it and Tamlin upheld it. Rhysand however, dragged Feyre's name through the mud and she let him.

I fully believe Feyre had every right to leave Tamlin. However, her reputation was ruined permanently by going to the Night Court.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#acotar #feyre archeron #feyre critical #sjm critical #anti rhysand #anti feysand #tamlin deserves better #tamlin #spring court #night court

[lovemyromance]

Things Elain Owes Lucien:

Literally, absolutely nothing.

She did not choose him, he did not choose her. They have had no prior romantic relationship, nor friendship, nor even acquaintance before she was declared his mate. She is a born human turned fae, she does not owe him anything. She is not obligated to respect fae traditions and what they value, despite now being fae for a grand total of like 1.5 years. She has spent the majority of her life until very recently as a human. She has no obligation to respect fae values (although one would argue she still does value and respect them anyways)

Things Elain should probably do at some point (like in her own book???), but again, is not obligated to do with Lucien:

Have a conversation about the bond

Accept or Reject the bond so everyone can be free to love whomever they please

Things Elain should NOT do with Lucien:

Accept the bond due to pressure from Rhys/Lucien/Fae tradition/Political Reasons/to keep the peace

Accept the bond because if she doesn't "she'll feel it forever and he might go crazy" - that's not really a choice then - is it 🤨? Sounds like a threat / guilt trip more so than a choice

Accept the bond for ANY reason other than because she truly loves Lucien

Things Elain is not currently doing with Lucien:

Associating with him in any way

Being in the same room as him

Cheating on him with Azriel

Elain is definitely not "cheating on Lucien" with Azriel. See my point above - she does not owe Lucien anything as neither of them are in this relationship out of their own free will. You can't cheat on someone you're not in a relationship with. Do they have a relationship of some form? Yes. But it's not a romantic relationship, and they were strangers when the mating bond snapped for them, so it's not cheating of any sort.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Good day 😀

#elriel #acotar #elain x azriel #azriel #elain archeron #pro elain #antielucien #elain

[iagi-san]

Kvothe is ambisextrous (bisexual) but he hasn't realized yet, an essay:

Okey, so this is my delulu shit and you can go with me or against me I don't care. Here we go:

Disclaimer: The author is totally cool with that idea so don't think that it couldn't be canon, because it COULD.

First, HAVE WE SEEN HOW OUR BOY TALKS ABOUT SIMMON?! Like dude, you have a gigantic crush on your mate, we get it. The only time the word "I love you" is written in the whole books is directed to Simmon from Kvothe. He says that they argue like newlyweds. When Simmon is reading that poem Kvothe makes the point to describe how handsome is Simmon. When he returns to Imre Simmon says that he is dating Fela, Kvothe makes a monologue on how Sim is the perfect boyfriend and he is just a turd (this boy as zero self esteem at his core)

Second, at the begining of the second book, at his first encounter with Denna, he gets jealous because that gentleman is really hot and has a lovely voice and it's totally unfair (we get it kid)

Third, all that bit pre-adem with Tempi, that boy got a crush on Kvothe and there are so many scenes when it could be turned out as a slow romance lol (they would be so cute as a couple)

And last, we get to his relationship with Bast. Patrick himself has joked multiple times that they are couple, or at least that Bast has a MASSIVE crush on our innkeper lol. So Kote and Bast own together the Inn, what two other men have an Inn? Exactly, Deoch and Stanchion who are a polyamorous couple and is where we discover the word "ambisextrous" that casually Kvothe knows and no one else among his friends (has he looked it up on the Archives? I totally can see our young Kvothe searching more info about his feelings)

Getting back with Bast, he is a Fae, a pansexual satyr nonetheless (pun intended), their chemistry doesn't go unnoticed among readers, specially the tenderness (that scene with Bast singing a lullaby to a wounded Kote), care (how he stitches him up and swapes his injuries althought Kote says that it's not necessary) and how he talks to him and about him to Chronicler (that bone chilling oath he makes towards his master).

At his own Kote sees Bast as someone a bit immature and who is like a child, I don't see quite romance on his side but who knows, he treats him with a lot of respect and care to not hurt his feelings.

Finally, my take is that Kvothe may not be as straight as he portrays himself to be and I'm desperate to read more fics with that in mind.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

#kingkiller chronicle #kkc #kvothe #patrick rothfuss #the name of the wind #bast #Kvothe is bi period #the wise man's fear #Ambisextruos #Tempixkovthe deserved better #Persimmon has golden retriever energy and Kvothe orange cat energy #We want to know more about Willem too

[the-valkyries-gwyn-nesta-emerie]

People want to talk about how NSFW art of Gwynriel isn't okay because of Gwyn's past trauma?

Well.... those same people saying this stuff about Gwyn are hypocrites when they themselves place Elain in NSFW artwork of her being tied up & in revealing to no clothing after what she herself has been through in her past.

Let's take a look at Elain's past trauma of being turned fae shall we?

Fear like I had never known entered my heart as the men dragged my sisters, gagged and bound, before the King of Hybern.

But there they were—in their nightgowns, the silk and lace dirty, torn. Elain was quietly sobbing, the gag soaked with her tears.

Elain was shaking, sobbing, as she was hauled forward. Toward the Cauldron.

Lucien staggered a step forward as Elain was gripped between two guards and hoisted up. She began kicking then, weeping while her feet slammed into the sides of the Cauldron as if she’d push off it, as if she’d knock it down—

Elain’s foot hit the water, and she screamed—screamed in terror that hit me so deep I began sobbing. “Please,” I said to none of them. Nesta was still fighting, still roaring through her gag. Elain, who Nesta would have killed and whored and stolen for. Elain, who had been gentle and sweet. Elain, who was to marry a lord’s son who hated faeries … The guards shoved my sister into the Cauldron in a single movement.

And Elain, as if she’d been thrown by a wave, washed onto the stones facedown. Her legs were so pale—so delicate. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen them bare. The queens pushed forward. Alive, she had to be alive, had to have wanted to live— Elain sucked in a breath, her fine-boned back rising, her wet nightgown nearly sheer. And as she rose from the ground onto her elbows, the gag in place, as she twisted to look at me—

Elain was still shivering on the wet stones, her nightgown shoved up to her thighs, her small breasts fully visible beneath the soaked fabric. Guards snickered.

Elain remained shuddering on the ground, Lucien’s coat draped around her.

After everything that happened to her.... Do you really think she'd be okay with being gagged, bound, and in sheer clothing/nightgowns? Or is it only okay to showcase her like that because it's with Azriel and you ship them together? 🤔

If you want to claim it's not okay for Gwynriels to make NSFW art of Gwyn being bound by Azriel's shadows or participating in sexual activities after what happened to her.... you better hold the same standard for Elain and not place her in NSFW art of sheer nightgowns & being bound and/or gagged with Azriel after what happened to her. Otherwise just shut your mouths and let people create the art they want without your needless input.

& DON'T ATTACK ARTISTS/COMMISSIONERS WHO CREATE THE ARTWORK!!

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

#anti e/riel #elain archeron #elain archeron fanart #acotar fanart #gwynriel #gwynriel art #gwynriel and eluciens unite #gwyneth berdara #acotar series #pro gwynriel

[existennialmemes]

Denny's parking lots are where you go to sword fight your ex with pool noodles.

Waffle House parking lots are where you go to have a conversation with the Actual Devil about the merits of biodynamic farming techniques.

Denny's: A Domain of Surreal yet Intensely Human Phenomenon

Waffle House: The Nexus Point Where the Fae Realm Bleeds into Ours

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

#shitpost #shitposting #denny's #waffle house #fae #the fae #fae realm #dionysus

[misspoken-pea]

Twst theory instead of studying:

Fae history (or lack ther of) (Briar Valley)

—————————————————

The reason why we don’t see much record of fae history nor do we have much understanding about fae in twst textbooks or in general is simply because just like any white colonised country (a country that never managed to recover most of their lost land at that), Briar Valley / Kingdom (the major land of origin for most faes) history was written over and downplayed by its colonisers during / after the irl events of Lilia’s dream.

The people know about Malleus simply because he is royalty and overpowered, not because they gaf about Briar Valley culture. He is simply a notable oddity on a global scale.

Which leads to one of my head cannons as to why Tsunotaro was so feared. It wasn’t just because he is powerful, no, it’s because he is also a tool for political fear-mongering.

Imagine an ex-colony starting to rise in power and recover from the damages it took from a war that wiped out half its population under the protection of it’s extremely magical capable queen (a power hard to cultivate in the world of twst).

The best way for other countries to maintain and establish their global dominance is to isolate Briar Valley via propaganda, which is already greatly achievable due to the fae’s mystified existence (lack of technological advancements and buried history). Now where else to better start then demonising the magical-nuke of a gothic royal family Briar Valley prides on?

And the thing is, these rumours are highly believable with people’s lack of understanding on magic and the seemingly endless pool of power the Draconias have, effectively obscuring the image of fairy-kind. The fact that Malificia is too tired to bother with the propaganda as she is tired with life (slightly implied in game) and Malleus being a mentally troubled autistic teen worried about making friends at school does not help.

So of course sweet ol’ Mal is not gonna make friends at school aside from his brother, his dad and the neighbours loud ass kid. Cuz who else’s gonna approach the emotionless all powerful Godzilla god-like creature that lives in the dark, feeds off of newborn babies, and will blow you to bits for even slightly angering him because all faes are arrogant and horrid creatures/j.

—————————————————————————

So yeah this is my ted talk on why Malleus is a loser (affectionate) who can’t make friends (self projection beam).

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst headcanons #twst theory #twst thoughts #twst rant #twst malleus #malleus draconia #twst fae #I also believe mal is aware of the propaganda #that’s prolly the reason he didn’t tell us his name in ch2 #cuz even if we r from another world he’s afraid that we would hear about the rumours #and associate it with him and therefore be afraid of him #he just wants someone to give him a chance to know him fr #I have a lot of feelings #can you tell I have a hyper fixation on politics? #no you don’t :) #shut up pea se

[eddiediaaz]

thank you @luke-skywalkrs and @crowleydiaz for the tag!! these are 2 slightly different tags so i put them together hehe

tag someone you want to know and/or some of your besties.

favourite colour: bluuue

last song: not sure but i was listening to talk's new album last night, so a sonmg from the tracklist

last series: class of '07 (underrated, this show was a fun surprise)

last movie: the eras tour movie

sweet/savoury/spicy: savoury and sweet are pretty equal, and spicy super close as well

currently watching: lol just a silly dating show

other stuff I watched this year: honestly i haven't watched a lot of stuff this year lol, which is definitely a weird thing for me. there's 911 s6b, lone star s4, heartstopper s2, outlander s7a, the client list, station 19... i think that's it, outside of rewatches

shows I dropped this year/didn't finish: ted lasso (i plan to finish it tho)

currently working on: a buck + yellow set

currently listening to: nothing at the moment, but lately i've been listening to noah kahan and hozier a lot

currently reading: i finished a fucking great fanfic yesterday and i don't know where to go from there haha so nothing at the moment

current obsession: oh probably hozier tbh

tagging (no pressure!): @aziraaphales @tawaifeddiediaz @negansmiith @disasterdiaz @laurabenanti @lightasthesun @bellamyblakru @sophiadimartino @folk-fae @eddiebabygirldiaz @honestlydarkprincess @heartshapedvows

#tag game

[faeofmoons]

just got him r3 + his avatar... only 3 moreeeee

#dislyte #dislyte tang xuan #tang xuan dislyte #i'm his biggest fan fr #my beloved since day 1 #faes ted talk

[caffiend-queen]

Do NOT Say 'Always After My Lucky Charms,' Or I Will Stab You

Welcome to another addition to the Holidays in Hel series! Where Loki and Mina attempt to save the Avengers from yet another catastrophic holiday fuckup.

I've been cleaning up and adding bits to my Holidays in Hel series because really, it's my favorite. I hope you enjoy, and thank you as always for reading!

Chapter Two: "Why Do I Always Smell Like Something Dead That Washed Up On The Beach?"

In which Mina discovers that the Fair Folk are not only not Fair, they're kind of assholes, and it's looking like another holiday shot straight to Hel.

Mina...

“Wh- where the hell am I?”

You were in the middle of a miraculous forest clearing with brightly colored birds swooping gracefully and gnarled tree trunks that looked ready to come alive and scold you. The sky was a vaguely eerie lavender and a single, wistful pipe was sending out a delicate tune on the wind. You could just see the sparkling sapphire and golden tints of a wide river meandering through the woods. Anxiously checking, you heaved a sigh of relief to see you were still in your sweater and tartan kilt. And, you were resting on a bed … uh … couch… “Is this like a throne?” you mumbled, “Because there’s that one spiky part that looks like it’s got a crown carved into it, but there’s blankets and… why does this shit happen to me?” The couch/bed/throne whatever you were sitting on was remarkably comfortable and rose grandly above the clearing. “So was I roofied? Loki’s the one who bought the drinks, so… Poofed? Is there someone aside from Loki who can poof people in and out of bars? Ugh. I’m beginning to feel like John McClane in Die Hard, why is it always us?”

One of the tiny, jeweled butterflies ventured closer to you and made an inquiring sort of sound. Admiring its iridescent patterns, you crooned, “Hello, you little sweetie. Don’t suppose you could show me where the exit is, huh?” The glittering creature landed lightly on your upturned hand, and two eyes popped open above the concealing swirls on its thorax. You jumped a little, “Oh! Hey, look at you! I don’t suppose you talk?” There was another delightful, high trill from the butterfly, and then a shocking amount of pain as it chomped down on the sensitive webbing between your thumb and forefinger. 

“OW! You little shit!” You shook your hand furiously but the butterfly had surprisingly sharp teeth and stubbornly hung on until you smacked it sharply on the head with your index finger. “Bad! Bad butterfly!” With a spiteful chitter, the creature fluttered away.

“Babe! You’re up!” Two arms wrapped around you like a particularly stubborn strain of ivy, a hand heading straight for your breasts.

And suddenly you were fighting off the long-limbed advances of a very handsome man.

An extremely gorgeous man with pointed ears.

“Hands off, pal! Who the Hel are you?”

He chuckled indulgently, leering at you - shit, were his eyes silver? - and took a swig of something out of the golden cup with one hand while gripping you around the waist with the other. You managed to eel free from his grip - mainly because you knew his attention was on his cocktail. Stumbling back, you took a wild look around before focusing again on him.

He was beautiful. Beautiful in the perfect, unearthly way that Loki was. Likely as tall and perfectly muscled with long, flowing golden hair and pointed ears.

Pointed. Fucking. Ears.

“Aw, damn it. You’re one of the Fae, aren’t you?” Loki had warned you about those guys.

The elf smiled again, full red lips and so alluring as his lids dropped to half-mast, looking you over thoroughly. "You are so hot. Babe, we are gonna PARTY," he paused, leaning in to whisper in your ear, “and then I'm gonna find your pot o' gold.“ He chortled loudly and for a minute, he reminded you of your ex-boyfriend Ted, president of his fraternity and notorious for the high alcohol poisoning rate on campus.

“I beg your pardon?” you gasped, “Look, I don’t care who you are- just send me back, and- wait, where’s Monty? You didn’t hurt the poor guy, did you?”

He began laughing magnificently, really, no other word would do, his head thrown back and mouth open to show his sharp, white teeth. “I am that shriveled-up old dude. I’m Monty with just a touch of glamour to make me ordinary. Now look at the real me! What a step up in your love life, huh?”

You glanced over your shoulder - was there an exit around here? A portal? A Greyhound bus? “This cannot be happening,” you groaned. “Yeah, uh… your name’s not really Monty, what is it?”

Taking another gulp of mead, or whatever the Hel the Fae drank these days, and giving an extremely rude belch, your supermodel fairy kidnapper offered, "Aengus. Prince of the Tuatha Dé Danan." He winked at you over the goblet he was drinking from, "And your fairy for Youth, Love, and Summer. I know you're honored, 'cause you are my chosen lady-babe."

“Angus?” you attempted.

“No, babe. Just- it’s Ah-hen-gess.” He put his long fingers on your jaw.

“Uh, Ah-hingus?” you tried again.

“Draw it out, gorgeous, just elongate your jaw like a snake and say, “Ah-he- Look, never mind, babe. Here,” he thrust a goblet (chalice? flagon?) into your hand and you sniffed at it. “Uisce beatha. The good stuff. It’s the second most delicious thing to come out of Ireland.” The smarmy bastard had the nerve to look pointedly down at his junk as he said this.

“M’lord, the other humans are totally bitching about getting stuck in the tree castle. You want me to knock ‘em out?” Another spectacularly good-looking elf with the body of a Ken doll and the expression of a village simpleton interrupted your little interlude.

“You- wait, there’s other humans here?” You froze in your efforts to bat away the wandering hands of Aengus and frowned at him. “How many people did you kidnap?”

Glaring at his tattle-tale elf buddy, your captor tried to smooth it over. “Babe, don’t worry about them. Let’s chill, take some clothes off, drink a brew or two…” he leaned forward, his beautiful face wearing a dashing grin. “You show me yours, I’ll show you mine. It’s…” he giggled, “magically delicious!”

“Really? Oh, my god, just- geddoff me! I mean it! You do not want the Hel that is about to rain down on you in the form of my boyfriend Loki!”

Both elves stopped dead and stared at you. Aengus even put his flagon of uisce beatha down. “Did you say… Loki?” he asked hoarsely.

You rarely invoked the Name of Loki. You preferred to handle your own problems. You didn’t expect or even want Loki to get involved in all the petty details of your life because he had a tendency to attempt to take them all over in order to “assist” you. But if it freaked out these douchey Irish Fae then you were going to wield Loki’s reputation like a blunt instrument.

So… “Yes!” you hissed threateningly, “You’ve interrupted a very important night for us and Loki, Prince of Asgard, rightful King of Jotunheim and God of Mischief and Lies does NOT like to be disappointed!” 

You were pissed. You didn’t get your traditional corned beef and cabbage dinner. You did not get lucky with Loki - wait, that sounded like a dating show - but this was really the worst kind of bullshit! You may have been shy when Loki first plucked you off Madison Avenue (literally) but time and a series of disastrous holiday fuckups had definitely helped you find your voice. And your temper. You leaned forward, staring into his startled silver eyes. “And of course, you probably know Loki best as the most terrifying of the ten things that invaded Ireland. Remember the Vikings? I’ll bet you do, Angus!”

“Aengus,” he correctly absently before looking at the other freaked-out fairy. “Get the other babes, I don’t care if they’re hot, this is turning into a total buzzkill, man.”

Your eyes widened, Shit, did I just get us all killed by invoking the name of Loki? 

Loki...

“Why does this always happen to us?”

It could have been any one of the Avengers whining, and really, Loki had to agree it was a reasonable question. It had been repeated over and over, on every holiday since Stark had first insisted he attend the billionaire’s ridiculous Yule festivities.

“We are cursed,” Thor said, slumped over Mjölnir, which he had been swinging around in an extremely unsafe fashion as he shouted about “Betrayal!” and “Vengeance!” until he’d nearly caved in the skull of one of the terrified bartenders and had been threatened by Tony. 

“I will shave you bald. Point Break, if you don’t put that stumpy piece of shit down! You remember that doorman you put into a coma? Do you? That was Happy’s second cousin’s kid!” 

Trying to ignore them all, Loki was walking through the deeply uncomfortable patrons of the Dead Rabbit, which had been locked down the moment they discovered their dates had been - yet again - abducted. Bucky was following close enough to have scuffed his exquisite Bolvaint onyx dress shoes, but, well, there was more important business at hand. Also, anyone willing to attempt to get testy about being detained was instantly quelled by Bucky’s glare. 

Leaning in close to Loki, he murmured, “What are we looking for?”

Lips barely moving, he answered, “Our women were taken through some portal with that vile troll Monty,” Loki sneered, “so I am attempting to discover this portal. But upon occasion, a creature of supernatural origin might also act as the portal. So no one shall leave until -” His sharp eyes just barely caught a tuft of hair moving stealthily along the mahogany bar, and he vaulted over the shining expanse and seized the tuft of hair and the body attached to it.

“Saor mé nó bás!” The diminutive man was kicking at Loki fiercely, though his legs were too short to make contact.

Holding him up to eye level, he snarled back, “Phooka, I should have known. You must be mad to attempt Maidentheft here!”

“Wait?” Steve poked his head over the bar. “Maidens? Theft? Is this some human trafficking ring?”

“Of a sort,” Loki said, not taking his gaze from the writhing Phooka. “The Fae enjoy stealing mortal brides upon occasion. But the victim must agree to dance with them first before they can be pulled through the portal.” He gave the flailing creature a brisk shake that nearly took his tufted red head from his body. “You are the portal, goblin! Where have you sent them!”

Steve just couldn’t help himself. “Don’t you mean Leprechaun? Or is that rude? Little person? Or-”

“Call him what you want, Capsicle,” barked Tony, “but he’s snatched the girls and we need them back! Pepper’s never going to let me forget this, so let Loki do his mystical mojo shit before she has me sleeping out on the balcony for the next year!”

“Ní inseoidh mé go deo! Lig saor mé!” The glamour was wearing off Phooka and his limbs were lengthening, hair turning long and silver-blond. But then the image shimmered and he returned to the gnarled little creature he’d been before. 

“Oh, no, Cluricaun, I will not release you. In fact,” Loki’s arm raised higher, easily holding the struggling creature at eye level, “I shall bind you into this form forever.”

“Nil! Nil!” he screeched, thrashing like a trout on the hook.

“Oh, yes…” purred Loki, an unholy look of joy gleaming in his eyes, “no longer of the Fair Folk, the beautiful creature who bespells all who see him. You shall be in this lumpy, repugnant form forever. Warts covering every inch of you. Oozing pus.” Phooka shrieked and kicked, fruitlessly waving his stubby arms as Loki’s grip remained steady. 

Bucky pulled an alarmingly large KA-BAR USMC Utility knife from… somewhere. The dim light of the bar glinted off of it as he pointed it at the troll that kidnapped his Darcy. “Let me soften him up for you, huh?” Everyone crowding around them backed up three steps.

“No need, my friend. Is there, Imp?"

Looking angrily between them, the creature slumped in Loki’s grasp. Expertly spinning his knife between his fingers, Bucky looked at the rest of the Avengers. “Armor up. Let’s go get our women.”

Mina...

“No hard feelings, huh?” Aengus was examining his perfectly shaped fingernails and flicked off a bit of a fish scale. “Your dudes should be here sometime, so… you know.”

“Wait, what?” You were waist-deep in fish guts. Pepper was sliding headfirst off a mountain of what looked like rotting seaweed and slime, and Jane and Darcy were trying to fend off the seagulls who were apparently assuming they were part of the fish offal and thus fair game. “No hard feelings? You kidnapped us, you dick! And now you’re leaving us… where the hell is this, anyway?”

There would be no further information forthcoming from Prince Asshole of the Fae, because Aengus and his fairy henchmen disappeared with a sparkly ‘pop!’

“What the hell just happened?” screeched Darcy, swiping at a seagull trying to get his beak into her hair. “Get off me, you flying barnacle!”

“I’m… I don’t know,” you admitted, trying to raise one foot out of the fish guts and losing a shoe. “Ugh! This is so nasty! But I think I freaked him out by telling him we know Loki and this was really going to piss him off.”

Pepper was gagging as she slid sideways in the disintegrating fish intestines, her immaculate white suit now an unspeakable Rorschach test of nausea. “How long before your boyfriend figures out where we are, Mina?”

“Loki’s not some kind of a magical bloodhound,” you groaned, “I dunno. Did these idiots try to hide us, or is this like just dumping us off on the side of the highway like a carjacker leaving you to die?" Looking around as you struggled to free yourself from the decaying remains of what had to be half the sea life in the Atlantic Ocean, you were getting concerned that this was option number two.

There was no sign of life around you. 

“Now what?” sulked Hedley Kow, who’d really been looking forward to scoring on this night, of all nights! The Fair Folk were all hot, but man, there was something about bagging a human chick… there was nothing like it. Unfortunately, he’d attempted to woo Natasha, so he was currently sporting two black eyes and a broken arm.

Sighing elaborately, Aengus glared at him. “Ring up the Aos sí. You know there are some serious babes there, especially the Pinkets. Tell ‘em we got barrels of Uisce beatha and a live band. Those chicks will be topless by midnight!”

Loki...

When their feet hit the ground of wherever they’d been portal’ed to, the Avengers were ready. Armed, teeth gnashing, weapons bristling, and ready to bring down the entire Leprechaun Kingdom to avenge their abducted comrades. But there was no one to admire their ferocious presentation, aside from a couple of listless seagulls pecking at the bloated carcass of what was possibly a seal.

“Are you sure we’re at the right place?” Steve said doubtfully, “I just figured the Fairies would have a… fancier setup?”

“We are in the correct place,” snarled Loki, “but not in the kingdom of the Fair Folk. They have discarded the women in this benighted place.”

Tony was levitating in his suit, thrusters firing randomly as he turned in one direction, and then the other, trying to spot Pepper and the others. Loki could feel a searing headache creeping up his spine as he had to put out the small fire Tony’s suit had created on a dilapidated shed before he set this malodorous fishing slum ablaze. 

“Hey…” Bucky put down his AK-47. “I think I know where we are. This is Port. It’s an abandoned village on this tiny island off the coast of Ireland. Donegal. In World War Two, we were doing reconnaissance on the Nazis…” His ocean eyes went blank for a minute before he seemed to reboot again. “It’s supposed to be haunted. It smelled like fish guts and mildew. That part’s just the way I remember it.”

Spreading his long, pale fingers, Loki created a sizzling rope of green fire. He whispered to it, twirled it in an endless loop between his hands, and then flung it free, like a bird set loose from its cage and it soared toward the sea. “They are here,” he said, “but hidden. The Fae are spiteful, even in defeat.”

“Hey, what’s that?” Darcy was pointing a fingernail with chipped red polish at the sky.

Sliding free from the pile of fish offal, Jane still managed to slip and fall into a particularly rotted, gelatinous mass. “Damnit!” she howled, Just So Done With This.

Putting a hand over her eyes and trying to shield them from the salt-laced wind, Mina squinted. “That’s…” she knew that signature, the coils of green flame twisting elegantly as it circled around them. “That’s from Loki.” She gave an excited little jump and slipped too, ending up on her ass with a “splat!’ in a decaying barrel of… of course, fish guts. “Ugh! But that means they’re here. They’re looking for us! HEY!” Mina shouted, jumping up and down, waving her filthy arms, “Here! We’re over here!”

Within an instant, the tall, beautiful form of her lover, her god, her Loki stood before her, cradling her face in his cool hands. “And here you are, lovely.” He bent to kiss her but Mina backed away. 

“Don’t! I love you and I’m so glad you found us but don’t touch me! You’ll have to burn that suit and you know I love the Tom Ford jackets on you!” Loki’s elegant nose was wrinkling, despite his best efforts and she sighed. “Why is it that I always smell like something dead that washed up on the beach whenever you rescue me?”

“Ah,” he raised one finger, gently tapping her nose. “I did not rescue you on this particular disastrous holiday. The Fae set you free.” She shivered, looking doubtfully around the filthy pier and Loki chuckled, pulling off his jacket and helping her into it, mourning briefly. It really was one of his favorites… ah, well. “How could this happen? We were prepared for battle.”

“It was genius,” Jane said approvingly, “Mina terrified them into releasing us.”

“How?” asked Thor, clumsily petting her hair and snarling it into dreadlocks with a hint of decomposing marine life lacquer. 

“She evoked the name of Loki” Darcy interrupted, as she always did. “She scared the shit out of the head fairy guy. Man, were those assholes a letdown! I thought fairies were supposed to be so magical and mysterious? They were like frat guys! Even stupider than frat guys, which I did not know was possible.”

Loki raised one elegant black brow. “Really, my clever girl? What did you say that so discouraged them? The group of you are an extremely desirable prize to the Fae.” The women simultaneously looked at themselves and shuddered as one. “Well, not at this moment,” he allowed, “but you are delectable.”

Mina allowed herself the smallest smirk, the tiniest bit of gloating. “I told that dickhead Aengus that surely he remembered that of the ten most terrifying things that invaded Ireland, you were the worst.”

“I was there also!” protested Thor, who’d given up on trying to soothe Jane and was attempting to wipe off the gelatinous fish residue from his hands. “I was very terrifying! The Fae must sing songs of my power in battle-”

“Yes, yes brother,” Loki interrupted, emerald eyes narrowed, “did you say Aengus?”

Mina nodded vigorously. “Yeah, that shut down his sleazy seduction scene in a hurry. You should have seen-”

His elegant hands waved furiously in the air, and they all disappeared from the dilapidated remains of Port with a loud “Pop!” that scared the seagulls.

The stink from the group was so appalling by the time Loki had “poofed” them back into the Tower that F.R.I.D.A.Y. politely informed them that, “I have taken the liberty of opening the gym showers for your group, and there will be a cart to take your clothes to the incinerator.”

Watching something that might have been a fish eyeball fall out of her hair and swirl down the shower drain, Mina smiled a little to see even Natasha, who had somehow remained untouched gratefully lean into the warm water. “Everyone okay?”

“You know that when the tower’s AI refuses to let you on the residential floors without a decontamination that you smell really, really bad,” sighed Pepper, shampooing her hair for the third time.

But finally clean at last and dressed in warm, fresh clothes, Mina sighed with relief, falling into the firmly muscled arms of Loki. “Thank you for being historically terrifying, sweetheart.”

“But I was there, too!” protested Thor, still upset and looking vaguely ridiculous in borrowed sweats that barely reached his shins. “Did the sprite not mention me?”

“Uh…” Mina was trying to not actually inhale the corned beef and cabbage dinner, grabbing another scoop of creamy Colcannon before Bucky took it all. Tony was insistent that no one was heading off to bed without polishing off the Irish dinner his chefs prepared. “Try the mustard sauce, Loki,” she said, spooning some of the fragrant yellow sauce onto his corned beef. “So, I still don’t get this. Leprechauns are really just fairy guys who use it as a disguise to trick human women into like, dating them?”

Loki shrugged, elegantly slicing into his meal. “There are Leprechauns. But they care for nothing but their gold. Their interaction with mortals is minimal. But their appearance is one easily taken and the Deamhna Aerig can use it to walk among you. No sweet girl like you would turn down a dance from…” he sneered despite his attempts to remain calm, “such as Monty, now would you?”

His Mina’s chin went up, a bad sign. “I won’t ever be sorry for being kind to people.”

Sighing, he tried to backtrack. “I know, lovely. But this is also what these craven fools count on.”

Natasha was finishing off another two fingers of Redbreast 15-year whiskey. Slamming the glass back on the table, she said, “What matters now is what happens to this мудак! How do we teach them a lesson?”

Even knowing he was about to say something terrible, something probably rather evil, Mina still felt a tingle in her girl parts as Loki leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers as a slow, savage grin spread across his beautiful face. “мой друг, this is happening as we enjoy our dinner. Though,” he added graciously, knowing the Russian’s desire to handle her own ‘business,’ "I am happy to deliver the fool who assaulted you to a location of your choice for your own brand of justice.”

She just couldn’t help it, Natasha started laughing, this arrogant сволочь knew her so well. “I’m looking forward to seeing your Evil Genius. I assume you have a way for us to enjoy it?”

“Well,” Loki allowed modestly, “since you have requested it…”

It was as clear as some well-filmed high-definition film, but the scene the highly entertained Avengers were watching wasn’t fiction, though the sight of the ethereal forest of the Fae would seem so. But the vile, sweating mass of Leprechauns were anything but enchanting.

“No, ladies, just hold-” a giant fart ripped through the desperate attempt from Hedley Kow to salvage the evening. Two nymphs reared back, waving their pretty hands in front of their faces as they gagged. “I mean it, we’re just gonna switch back to our real forms and-”

“If thou could have, thou wouldst,” sneered one. “Come, sisters. It is time for the Aos si to take our leave.” Groans rippled through the forest as the silvery forms of the nymphs disappeared.

“What is happening, man?” screamed one of the Fae, pulling at his ratty red hair as he belched miserably, sending up a cloud of fumes so toxic it was almost visible. “This is on you, Aengus! No babes! We’re in Gnome Hel, man! It was Loki, huh? You pissed him off again and shit- I can’t stop farting!”

Their leader gagged, feeling another one of his monstrous pimples spurt pus onto a chest so hairy that he appeared to be wearing a sweater. “He’s just being a dick! I’ll fix it, y’know, when Loki cools down.” The sweating mass of hairy, pimpled, gaseous trolls moaned, a chorus of ear-splitting farts their only answer.

Mina...

“How are you feeling, sweet girl?” That sly devil you were in love with, the god who’d rescued you yet again from a colossal holiday fuckup that was guaranteed in the company of the Avengers, was stroking your neck very softly and it was doing things to you. 

“Better, I guess,” you were trying to not melt into some needy, shameless puddle because you were standing just behind the rest, who were still enjoying the complete shit show that the Irish Fae had found themselves floundering through. “At least we got our corned beef and cabbage dinner.”

“Mmmm…” he breathed against your ear, the vibrations tingling up and down your spine. “And is that all my darling Mina wanted for her ancestral holiday?”

“Well,” you allowed, “I’d hoped for… you know. A special moment. No matter how godawful our holidays are, the sex afterward is always so…” you sighed mistily, “spectacular.”

His long arms tightened around your waist, and you felt that strange pull at the base of your spine that told you within an instant you would be somewhere else, swept away by this magical god, who for some reason loved you. The room disappeared, and you fell onto your bed, pillows flying in all directions, and in an instant, you were naked and Loki was thrusting into you. You yelped in shock. Usually, it was a production, a slow build as your delicious god toyed and cajoled you into being ready for him. 

But this!

You were ready, oh, god you were ready and you had no idea how it happened so fast.

“W- wait, one minute we’re watching the Asshole Fae Reality Show and now we’re- oh, GOD!” He’d given a particularly savage thrust and you just howled.

“I fear I cannot be patient tonight, cailín daor,” he groaned, “I have wanted to be inside you since I heard of your genius, your terrifying of the Fair Folk until they retreated from the field of battle.”

“Th- th- they dumped us in a pile of fish guts in a haunted village!” you managed, the mattress bouncing vigorously and your hands slipping over the slick skin on his back, trying to hold on. 

“Ah,” he chuckled breathlessly, a deeply arousing growl that made your thighs clench harder against his hips, “you were cunning, my love. You were outnumbered in combat against a well-armored - though profoundly stupid - foe, and you drove them before you like sheep. You used your wit, your cleverness and I have never,” he thrust hard again and your legs flew up, toes pointing to the ceiling as the silky tip of him pushed higher inside you than you knew was possible. “I have never,” he continued, “desired you more.” Loki was speaking with his mouth against yours, not kissing so much as taking in the breath of each other, his body iron-hard and driving fiercely through you, big hands groping your breasts greedily. “So tonight, mo shióg deas, I shall fuck you, as one warrior would another after combat.” Heaving up and back on his heels, he hauled you along with him, still connected as he bent you, back arched over his arm, his other hand pushing gently against your heaving stomach. “I can feel myself,” he panted, “here.” 

You let out a screech as he pressed harder. The feel of him inside and outside of you was unimaginable. It was wild and overwhelming and so fucking sexy and it was turning you into some kind of lunatic because you wrapped your arm around his shoulder and reared up, biting his neck with your sharp little teeth. Loki let out a low, harsh groan and you could swear his cock just doubled in size.

“Do it again.” His fingers gripped the back of your hair and pressed your face to his throat. “Again.”

Grinning, you did, biting into that luscious muscle just over his prominent collarbone and seizing a handful of his thick, silky hair as well.

Loki was always smooth, exquisite, and slick in his seductions. He was not one to lose control but you felt a savage sort of victory as his sinuous hips stuttered, pushing harder, sloppier into you. “Again,” he rasped.

Now both hands were in his hair, tilting his head sharply as you bit into the other side of his neck, and to your shock, your mouth filled with the lush taste of his cool blood as your cunt filled with the heat of his come.

Shivering against each other, Loki’s hands squeezing your ass and your still gripping thick handfuls of his hair, you were still, frozen tightly together. “Holy shit,” you wheezed, “I never… That so goes on our list of stuff to do to each other again!”

Loki began laughing, a huge, hearty laugh that so rarely came from him, an unguarded moment he rarely allowed and it was wonderful. Also, it was making his cock jolt inside your swollen girl parts and rubbing up against some really sensitive places. Wrapping your legs around his hips, you started giggling, too. “Happy St. Patrick’s Day, baby,” you managed, “now, that’s celebrating like a true Ireannach!”

“And to you, my love,” he managed, “and to you.”

Ireannach - Irishman mo shióg deas - my pretty fairy

Deamhna Aerig - air demon

Uisce beatha - from the genius misreall, it means "water of life," early whiskey and the rare thing that the Fae would be guzzling on a night like this.

I'm starting over with a vague memory of who might like my Loki and Avengers tales. If you would like on or off this list, please let me know! Thank you. Mwah!

@what-is-your-plan-today

@sweater-daddiesdumbdork

@the-soulofdevil

@americasass81

@mdemontespan1667

@sultry-rachael

@myoxisbroken

@gigglingtiggerv2

@notpedeka

@narnianarcher

@sylviefromneptune

@winterslove1917

@kimanne723

@hawkeyes-queen

@grymrayven

@stevihj

@lizette50

@jevans2

@wolfsmom1

@devikafernando

@wegingerangelica

@nildespirandum

@alexakeyloveloki

@thebatshitcrazyfangirl

@thehumming6ird

@archy3001

@iheartsebastianstan

@tomstinkerbell

@wolfpawn

@rayofdawnworld

@thecutestlittlebunbunfairy

@dangertoozmanykids101

@alexakeyloveloki

@nuggsmum

@boredbrooder

@fairlightswiftly

@inkededucatednnerdy

@nonsensicalobsessions

@viv-annelore

@eleniblue

#tumblr besties and beloveds #loki fandom #loki smut #tom hiddleston #bucky barnes #Avengers Holidays in Hel #yet another Avengers holiday fuckup #St. Patrick's Day with Loki

[taldigi]

When it first happened, he had been pleasantly surprised- he had always assumed otherwise, but Ladybug? Oh! What a treat- his butterfly was met with Anger. So much Hate! So powerful and potent! What an akuma she could be!

"You." she interrupted his offer, her anger burning his honeyed words to sticky, burnt carmel, "You stole everything from me. My life, my future- you've placed my loved ones in danger and harm the fae- and yet you come to me and ask for my help?!"

"You know I can see you-" She laughed, "Oh! Your connection goes both ways! Where are you truly? Hiding away in your palace of exotic plants?"

He severed the connection.

Chat Noir was next- the boy who displayed his emotions in the ears on his head and the tail on his waist. A powerhouse with the ability to twist matter and space to his whim- his buttefly, met with Anger. Fueled by Grief. Pure and distilled and radiant. What an akuma he could be!

"You!" he did not even get a word in before he hissed at him, "You hurt everyone I love, happy to let the city die- and for what? What goal is so noble that it justifies the deaths of thousands..? Yet, you fancy yourself powerful enough to attempt to sway me?!"

"I cannot see you," he whispered, for Papillon had learned his lesson with Ladybug- "But, our connection goes both ways- Oh! But I can smell you. I can hunt you."

He severed the connection.

___

Akuma are dumb and overpowered and I think if you're angry enough or hate Papillon enough you can literally scream him out and say no. thanks for comin' to my ted talk

#Digit's Art Tag #Digit's Miraculous Tag #Marinette Cheng #Felix Sphinx

[plumadot]

Hi hi Plume! I saw you assigned Bard Scar the College of Lore, but may I propose: College of ✨ Glamour ✨

Glamour bards are Faerie-trained and it’s focussed on spectacle and enchantment and persuasion and deception and dazzling others! This fits really really well with Scar’s character with the whimsical wonder and cunning words aspects. better than Lore bard dors I think. That’s a bit more of a looking for hidden stories vibe. Also Vex are very commonly headcannoned to be a type of Fae, so you could tie that into it! :D

Thank you for coming to my TED talk fhsfsdgd.

gfdjgkfjgfd i do have to say that scar has been in contact with the fey in his backstory so it would fit aaaaaaaa but the vibe of college of lore is just so perfect to me... it just feels so real and i love the idea of him spinning stories, whether they're true or not, to inspire or distract people :D

i do wonder what a dnd equivalent of the minecraft vex would be... scar may be an elf, but he could've very well run into these tiny fey creatures too... this man has been everywhere (according to his own stories, at least...)

#ask

[lorcandidlucienwill]

i saw your post about the nagas and i just want to emphasise just how awful it is that sjm used the name to refer to a malevolent race of fae when the mythical beings themselves are considered benevolent spirits by a lot of asian religions. they’re considered protectors of the underworld and its wealth, and get on pretty well with the gods. they’re symbols of birth, rebirth, fertility, wisdom etc, and guardians of water bodies as well as wealth. hinduism in particular has a long standing tradition of worshipping nagas or other serpent spirits for protection and prosperity alike; a lot of non christian religions have a history of offering tribute to those spirits that they fear. if nothing else the nagas are a real people who live in north india. it is so insensitive to reduce a name with such widespread connotations across cultures to nightmarish creatures. thank you for coming to my very brief ted talk.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

#10/10 no notes #anon asks