#exclusionism tw

[mogai-sunflowers]

most exclusionists have probably never had to ACTUALLY struggle to figure out their identity. like, i mean ACTUALLY struggle. not just being a little confused for a little while but figuring it out without much pain or hassle and after that point not really questioning again. and it fucking shows.

like oh i’m so sorry you spent a month slightly confused over your sexuality or gender, but then you figured it out and that was that. so now you think you’re the fucking end all be all of the queer experience and expect it to be that fucking easy for everyone. good for fucking you.

every night for four years, i was up agonizing over my sexuality. a lot of the times it was so painful i couldn’t breathe, just had to fucking keep going feeling like there was no end in sight to the NOT KNOWING. and some of y’all will truly never ever understand what that feels like but instead of acknowledging that you act like it should just be fucking easy for us.

5 years later, i’m not actually that much closer to figuring any of it out. but i’ve never been happier. you know what helped me get there? realizing that my worth is not dependent upon whether or not i have myself figured out, that i don’t need to have myself figured out in order to move forward with my life. and then, fucking THEN, gender came into the picture and sometimes i feel like i’m right back where i started.

last night, when i was outed to my mom, she was more accepting of my gender identity than most of the people in this “community”. my 60 year old mother who got confused when i said i thought i was a boy because “i thought you were asexual”, still managed to be more comforting and supportive of my journey with gender and sexuality, than any of the exclusionists who’ve come for me on here. my mother, who doesn’t know the difference between a trans man and a trans woman, still was able to tell me that my soul doesn’t change just because my gender might and that i have time to figure it out and don’t need to rush myself, whereas i’ve had hundreds of OTHER QUEER PEOPLE tell me to kill myself for being bi and a lesbian and a boy.

so fuck you. fuck you if you think that you know more about me than i do. fuck you if you think those years i spent in constant questioning agony, don’t matter because i just have to use the definition that makes everyone else comfortable. fuck your exclusionism, fuck your gatekeeping, fuck you forever.

#🌌when the stars align ; reigns rambles🌌 #i am not doing well rn #theres this really popular blog on here whos super vitriolic against mspec lesbians and lesboys #and she claims to be an activist lmao #like girl i get it you're 18 #i just turned 19 i get it we're young we can be stupid #but you're just a fucking asshole #ofc she calls herself a lipstick lesbian too #tw exclusionism #exclusionism tw #tw discourse

[moneyfor-nothing]

“The one reason an asexual/aromantic person might not want to join our community is because their lives are safer when they don’t” do you not see what a privilege it is to be able to avoid targeted harassment and legislation just by ignoring the LGBT community and not identifying yourself with it

I see your point, and I would respond with. I am an AFAB nonbinary bisexual in a relationship with a cis man. Though I look more androgynous now, in the past I could have easily “passed” as cishet and avoided targeted harassment. That doesn’t make me any less a part of the LGBT community, nor any less queer.

Yes, my life is safer than are the lives of many of my queer brothers, sisters, and siblings. But that does not mean that I do not deserve to be a part of this community because of it. Same goes for my ace comrades.

#my post #exclusionist tw #exclusionism tw #queer discourse #lgbt discourse #lgbt #asexual #ace #asexual discourse #ace discourse #lgbt discrimination #lgbt discussion #queer discussions #nonbinary #enby #trans #transgender #exclusionism #anti exclusionist #bi #bisexual

[dykerys]

"Objectum isnt queer" Who tf are you? The queer police? 🤨

#i have NO PATIENCE for this bs #when this fucking “x identity isnt queer” will over? #year after year with this i can't take anymore #exclusionism tw

[queerum]

checking out my quora before going to sleep and two exclus just went on my post to say that aromantism and asexuality were mental illnesses. way to ruin what had been an okay-ish day to begin with.

#aphobia #aphobia tw #queer #aroace #aromantic #arophobia #asexual #exclusionism tw #exclus #ace exclusion

[transmasc-hope]

You're mind-bogglingly homophobic if you think just claiming to be a lesbian (or anything else) actually makes someone a lesbian/that thing. That's just conversion therapy rhetoric with a new coat of paint: men can say they're lesbians, so lesbians must sleep with men! Please spend less time on the internet if you honestly think this, though I'm betting you're just a troll or being performative.

lmao. ok troll

#exclusionism tw

[shmaroace]

i literally have no words except what the fuck

#tw: swearing #ace #asexual #acespec #aroace #aspec #acephobia #exclusionism #image #1k #5k #6k #7k

[sirenium]

'Safequeer' mfers when people are queer in a way they don't like:

[GIF ID: a toy decor skeleton getting absolutely eviscerated in a blue shredder with silver blades. Said skeleton looks like it's thrashing and flailing about as it slowly gets consumed. End ID]

#tw discourse #how are you going to claim you're anti exclusionist but two lines later be like 'l*sb*ys are icky!' fuckin loser💀 #like that's blatant exclusionism in your 'anti exclusion' space hon idk what else to tell ya #the absolute lack of self awareness makes me feel like I'm seconds closer to an aneurysm every time I'm subjected to anti mspec les etc shi #oh yeah also 'safequeers' are against nontraumagenic systems so it's the whole nine yards of bs with them huh💀 #use hazardqueer instead cuz that label is truly anti exclusionism #queer #lgbtq #lgbt #mogai #liom #hazardqueer #mspec lesbian safe #lesboy safe #endo system safe #endo safe #friendly reminder that all system origins are valid btw. not just endo and trauma

[mlp-friendship-isnt-magic]

Exclusionists: Self diagnosis isn’t valid because only a doctor can diagnose a mental disorder. It doesn’t matter what traits you have. Only a doctor can do the complex work of sorting out what traits indicate a disorder.

Also exclusionists: All aplatonics and aplspecs have a personality disorder. All of them. No, I’m not a doctor, but I’m still qualified to say that about them. Personality disorders are just lacking friends and nothing else, right?

#exclusionists are so frustrating #why did i think it would be a good idea to scroll through their tags #for the record i support self diagnosis #and aplatonics that do have disorders #but that’s not all of us #aplatonic #aplspec #anti exclusionist #exclusionist bullshit #tw exclusionism #inclusionist #self diagnosis

[mogai-sunflowers]

I’ve said it a million times before and I’ll say it a million times again- exclusionists don’t define you. You are so much more than all the things you wish you weren’t. You are not just a bi lesbian or a gaybian or a fagdyke or a boygirl or a boy lesbian. You are your queerness and yet you are more than that too.

You have dreams, goals, fears, passions, hobbies, quirks, desires, etc. You have the power to be the good person that exclusionists don’t see in you. As hard as it can be to deal with exclusionism and its affects on your mental health, you just can’t give up.

Maybe I’m being dramatic, or maybe I’m remembering all the times I’ve felt like giving up because of it, and all the times other people have told me they feel the exact same way. Either way, the world has enough room for you in it. It has enough room for every part of you, including the ones you’ve been forced to hide. It’s fucking hard. It’s isolating. It’s scary. And, it’s not what defines you.

you are beautiful for who you are, not who small-minded people want you to be. who you are, right now, is enough. Even if you want to become a better version of yourself, that doesn’t mean the you of right now is any less important. I love you all so so much, please take care of yourselves.

#🌌when the stars align ; reigns rambles🌌 #exclusionists have been ruining my mental health lately I just had to get this out #tw exclusionism #exclusionism tw #exclusionism discussion

[moneyfor-nothing]

I feel like it's worth saying that the only reason aspec IDs are "safer" is because we're erased. When bigots do learn about asexuality and grasp what it actually is or we let people know what we are? We often get hurt. Insulted, erased, infantalized, or dehumanized at best and assaulted, face DV from partners, SA, probably murder considering it's not uncommon for SA cases to have dead victims, at worst. Repubs recently went on tangents about asexuality and it pretty much sums up their feelings on us pretty well.

Yes, this, too. Thank you for pointing this out cuz this is a really good point. And *insert trigger warning here*, not to mention “corrective” r**e. It is absolutely disgusting and none of us deserve to face any of this, ever.

I’m autistic and I can relate to the infantilization and it’s fucking exhausting and the worst. We are grown ass adults and we can make decisions for ourselves— this goes for both the autistic community and the asexual community.

Like I said to the last anon, you are worthy of love and respect, and you deserve joy, happiness, and acceptance. No one should have to go through any of what you mentioned.

#my post #tw mention of sa #exclusionist tw #exclusionism tw #lgbt discourse #queer discourse #lgbt discussion #queer discussions #lgbt #lgbtq #ace #asexual #asexual discourse #fuck exclusionists #corrective sa mention

[posting-stuffies]

Original | Exclu comments

Exclus went full circle.

"I'm attracted to one gender" -> "I am bisexual". Lolgic!

#transmultiphobia #multigender issues #mogai discourse #bisexual #bi discourse #tw discourse #tw exclus #exclu takes #exclusionism #tw exclusionist #lgbt discourse #straightbian #straight lesbian #lesbian discourse #lesboy #bisexuality #monosexism #bisexism #bigender #trixic #nblw #feminamoric #vixenamoric #tucute #screenshot #facebook comments #regardless of gender #all genders #lolgic #sjw logic

[mywitchcultblr]

Terf/Conservative-lite bingo

Bingo or signs that someone might be terf/conservative leanings (even if they claimed to hate terf or conservative) if they match a LOT or ALL points below

Hates pansexual people

hates xenogender

kink critical, spending too much goddamn time ranting about people's sexual preference and what consenting adults do, overall being sex negative

hates asexual/aromantic people

Puritan about fanfic/fan art and shipping also they are anti-ao3, spending a lot of time policing fandom

Trying to instigate a fight between bisexual people against pansexual people

Doesn't want the term 'queer' to be reclaimed or used in any way

Dismissing the plight/suffering that trans men endured

Instigating a fight between trans women and trans men

Obsessed with media purity

Exclusionist and trying to divide LGBTQIA+ community

Overusing the term 'biological woman' too much to uplift themselves and to demean trans women, just another way to say "i'm the real woman and you will never be a woman" to trans women

Ranting about how women enjoying yaoi/mlm are homophobic and evil or fetishizing gay men (this mentality is common amongst sexist queer men, terf-men and terf woman) not caring with the fact that media consumption is not always reflect people real morality, also a lot of yaoi enjoyer/fujo are queer themselves

I often see blogs that match all of those specifics points above (from their dni/bio) and yeah they are not pleasant people, its like every goddamn time, its like a pattern

#bingo #lgbtqia+ #lgbt #queer #shipping #discourse #fancops #fandom police #trans #tw t*rfs #tw exclusionism #asexual #aromantic #fandom

[our-lesboy-experience]

hiii!!! so uh, this is sorta about 'contradicting' (?) identities in general, but i only recently found out about, like, lesboys and gaygirls and all of that, but what is it exactly? like how does it work? or is that weird to ask? i'm trying figuring myself out but a lot of stuff i've seen doesn't exactly... explain it (or explain it well), and while i guess i do get why, it's just kinda hard to understand it myself for my own identity

also, probably a question you get a lot in a hating way, but isn't the definition of lesbian nonman loving nonman? so then how does lesboy work? like is it for people with more complicated gender identites, like fluctuating genders and bigender? just genuinly confused, my apologies...

sorry for not getting to this sooner- been busier lately and didn't have the time to collect everything I needed to respond!

About what it exactly means to be a lesboy or a gaygirl ('turigirl' is the more common term, 'turi' meaning turian, another word for gay attraction to men. so I'll be referring to it as that from now on), there isn't exactly....one right way to call yourself such. it really depends on the person, but I can give you a basic definition and a list of common reasons someone may call themselves such

im gonna put a read more because this ended up being super long so sorry

lesboy is a term for any lesbian who may have a connection to manhood and/or masculinity. turigirl is just the opposite of that, a gay person (mlm/nblm) who may have a connection to womanhood and/or femininity. common reasons I've seen are:

being multigender or genderfluid

being cusper/in between trans and cis gnc (in between trans man and cis gnc woman, in between trans woman and cis gnc man)

being a system who uses lesboy/turigirl as a collective identity or when identities blur together

a person who uses man/boy or woman/girl as a means of masculine or feminine gender expression but not actually identifying as such

being a trans man/ftm or a trans woman/mtf who still identifies as lesbian or gay for personal reasons

those are far from all the reasons, everyone has their own unique experiences, but the gist is these people may have some sort of connection to manhood/womanhood while still having a queer attraction. personally, I'm multigender, genderfluid, and transmasc. lesboy I find is a nice label to express being both my bigender self and being a lesbian, as it forces people to acknowledge both without separating the two. it's cute and makes me feel validated!

as for "nonman attracted to nonmen" definition of lesbian......it has its issues. it's received criticism all around from all sorts of lesbians in the community. this definition is very new - it emerged only in the recent years, and someone on twitter had date searched it and found it didn't even really exist before 2019. and having that as the one and only official definition that every lesbian has to abide by, when lesbian is a centuries old word with so much history behind it, is a bit ignorant. people who are multiple genders or ftm or bi being lesbian is not even remotely new, going back decades upon decades, and it never stopped existing too. It's a bit weird to have a whole new definition that doesn't include all sorts of lesbians that have been here for so long and just tell them they're not welcomed anymore, right?

that's not even close to the only issue there is with it. it's been disliked for centering lack of attraction to men, or defining lesbian in relation to men, rather than who we're actually attracted to. putting nonbinary people in a new binary of either being "men or nonmen," which not all feel comfortable putting themselves into. especially when considering a definition of gay being "nonwomen attracted to nonwomen," man-woman bigender people are simultaneously excluded from being both lesbian or gay. It inherently overlaps with mspec identity ("attraction to nonmen, which is more than one gender" and "any orientation that involves attraction to more than one gender" kinda obviously overlap), despite people insisting that a lesbian can never be mspec. people have found multiple loopholes in it, (which I can elaborate on if someone wants me to, for the sake of trying to make this as short as possible), and lastly, and term "nonman" (and nonwoman) were found to have existed before to describe the degendering of black people in society. this isn't the only source I've seen for this, but sadly I can't exactly find it (or find it without going back to that hellsite called twitter and I'm not doing that to myself)

oh and as the link points out, defining lesbian by these words also ends up excluding a lot of two-spirit people from ever identifying as lesbian, myself included. which is also really racist. I don't know how you're gonna end up excluding a whole cultural gender that's common for indigenous americans to describe themselves with and try to prove it somehow isn't racist, to be honest

and lastly, some surveys/polls have shown that the definition isn't the most widely accepted by lesbians as people make it out to be. there's this simple poll that someone posted asking how lesbians felt about the definition that received 1,529 responses, and 61.1% of voters said they disliked it. comments gave lots of reasons I've stated already. there was another survey put out that received 211 responses that for any lesbian who had a genderqueer or unique relationship with gender, and one of the questions asking opinions on the "nonmen loving nonmen" as a definition. the average among the group was slightly negative (average 2.838), and reported that the group who tended to feel the most positively about it didn't consider themselves to be trans, with the other positive leaning group considered themselves to be somewhat cis. the group that felt the most negatively sometimes considered themselves to be trans. and of the multigender participants, the average opinion was 2.255 (more negative than the overall average). When concluding, the original poster stated, "When divided by gender, the only groups to feel positive about this definition were "not trans" and "somewhat cis" participants. Multigender participants felt especially negative about this definition"

all of this shows that this definition isn't nearly the best for everyone who considers themselves a lesbian. I know it's been a way to include nonbinary people who are lesbian in it's definition, but I think it really misunderstands why nonbinary people are included in lesbianism in the first place, and just assumes that all nonbinary people aren't men and fails to recognize that multigender/genderfluid people are nonbinary too. and it's not like lesbian has to only have on definition- it can definitely have multiple and depend on each person's experience with it. if someone personally defines them being lesbian around being a nonman attracted to nonmen, and takes pride in not being attracted to men, that's totally fine. what becomes a problem is forcing all lesbians to define themselves like this and make it the standard, or else they're "not real lesbians." it is ahistorical and ignorant to require this or else you'll strip them of their lesbian status, and is really at the end of the day, lesbophobic. especially as a requirement that primarily exists in online spaces. im sure the lesbian who is not at all connected to these circles doesn't particularly care about strict requirements or whether someone is a "nonman" or not. in conclusion, it is not the best nor most accepted definition of lesbian, and deciding which lesbians are valid or not based solely on that definition is pretty exclusionary and ends up policing a lot of lesbians, myself included

#lesboy #turigirl #lesbian #gay #multigender #genderfluid #mspec lesbian #asks #tw exclusionism #tw queerphobia #lesbophobia #I can definitely elaborate on some points if asked #I do have some thoughts I've never shared before

[teefersdotcom]

hey folks <3 currently on tiktok there's a wave of hate going towards angel's sensory room - one of the reasons being that the creators support lesboys. this has led to a wave of anti-lesboy t-shirts being uploaded on roblox so people can harass those in game. if any of y'all have the time, mind reporting a few of them? just searching "lesboy" in marketplace should pull them up. thanks <3

#tw lesboy hate #tw queerphobia #tw queer discourse #angel's sensory room #angels sensory room #a couple of the shirts are also tagged with regretevator #radinclus #rad inclus #roblox #lmk if i need to tag anything else #tw exclusionism

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

*post gets deleted* damn, but I bet it'll be posted if I spam it 7 more times!!

#found this person when they were spreading misinformation on intersex-ness and then bitched and moaned after being downvoted #istg I feel like every exclusionist is intersexist #like I've never met an exclusionist that wasn't intersexist #there is a connection between intersexism and exclusionism and you cannot convince me otherwise #tw exclusionism #bi lesbian #mspec lesbian #bi lesbians ily <3 #varioriented #mspec mono #critinclus