#everything is good now that Iz is alive again

[hmserebusadjacent]

Now That I See You

Izzy Hands/Male Reader (Both Aromantic and Asexual)

Summary: You guess correctly that today is Izzy's birthday, and you are determined to treat him to a nice day out. The end of the evening brings about the reveal of your feelings for each other.

Word count: 2756

AO3 link:

“Izzy, can I make an assumption? Please feel free to tell me if I’m wrong.”

Izzy Hands looked at you with narrowed eyes, suspicious but intrigued by what you had to say.

“Go on.”

You took a deep breath and smiled calmly.

“Happy birthday.”

Izzy inhaled his next breath quickly, so quickly you worried he might choke on it. He regarded you in a new light now, moving closer unintentionally to get a better look at you.

“How did you…?”

Izzy Hands was looking at you as if you were magical, too stunned to speak.

“Magic”, you replied cheekily, winking at him. Izzy blustered a laugh, folding his arms across his chest defensively.

“You are truly bizarre.”

You physically preen, shaking your shoulders out.

“Thanks.”

You look at him more seriously, taking in the man and wanting to make him feel more comfortable. You take a step forward and he watches you softly.

“Seriously though. I get the same around my birthday. Wanting to hide away more and to just try and forget the whole thing is happening.”

Izzy looked down at his own feet, a flush lighting up his cheeks. You couldn’t tell whether it was from embarrassment over being so easily read or from something else.

“You deserve to be celebrated.”

You looked up into Izzy’s eyes and saw the genuine feeling there. Oh. Well, that was delightful.

“I could say the same of you, Iz.”

The man scoffed a laugh but you wouldn’t back down. You gently laid a hand on his shoulder and he looked between it and you, trying to work you out. His shoulder did relax under your hand though, which was nice.

“If you’ll let me, I have a few things I’d like to treat you to today.”

You squeeze his shoulder, trying to be comforting and confident even though the look in his eyes right now makes you want to melt into a puddle at his feet.

“Me?”

You nod, smiling.

“Yeah, you. Just to try and show you why I care about you so much. To show that you can be treated nicely, more than once in a while.”

Izzy nodded, whether it was to himself or to you. He looked out toward the island in front of the ship, to the large town on the coast that was alive with possibilities. Then he looked back toward you, assessing you. You were good friends at this point, and you knew that Izzy trusted you implicitly and you him. But there were still times when he looked at you as if everything could crumble into the ocean and either you would give him a reason to regret his trust or he would fuck things up so hideously that you would never want to look at him again.

This time, he seemingly wanted to put his faith in you and the bond you shared.

He held out his arm, forming a little crook near his elbow.

“Come on then. Show me the wonders of what a good birthday can be.”

You couldn’t help the wide grin that formed on your lips as you took Izzy’s arm.

“You won’t regret this, Iz. I promise.”

Izzy desperately hoped that you meant it.

—--

As you walk down off of the gangway with your arm through Izzy’s, you feel like you are practically glowing. Izzy moves away from you only for long enough to offer his hand as you step onto the pier, and you admire again how much of a gentleman he is around you. You retake his arm and lead him over to a few of the interesting looking stalls along the front.

Izzy isn’t normally much of a one for shopping but today he tries to look interested in more things, pointing out things that he thinks you might like to. When you introduce the idea of you buying him a few gifts he is incredibly hesitant at first, not wanting you to waste your money on him. In as polite and gentle a way as possible, you remind him that you had done incredibly well from the last raid by finding a secret stash within the hold of the ship.

With that in mind, and perhaps with a heavy flush on his cheeks, Izzy concedes the point and begins looking more seriously at things he might like. Along the seafront you treat him to some new hair oils that smell like oranges and spices, and watching him inhale the scents again after you bought them for him was amazing.

As you headed further into the town, you bought a few bits for yourself including more sewing supplies in case you were going to offer to mend Izzy’s shirts again. The last time you had done it, you had sewn a tiny heart over the last remaining stitch to keep it in place, and knowing that little heart was pressed against Izzy’s skin did wonderful things to your heart.

If Izzy knew about it, he hadn’t said anything. But the way he smiled at you sometimes as he tugged on his shirt to make it more comfortable told you that maybe he was aware of it.

A few stalls later and Izzy had picked himself out a few nice rings. They glittered on his fingers like stars, making his hands look even more enticing. After you spotted a ring that you were making puppy eyes at, Izzy insisted on buying it for you, taking it straight from the vendor and slipping it onto your middle finger. That action alone had your heart racing, let alone the fond look Izzy Hands gave you afterwards.

By the time it was lunch time, the pair of you were really quite hungry. You insisted on taking Izzy to a bar that you knew. It was slightly more upper crust than Izzy was likely used to but you just wanted him to try some incredibly hearty food for once and not feel guilty about it. The bar owner welcomed you with open arms, delighted to have you gracing their establishment again and taking you to a table with the best view possible. They gave you an almost knowing look as Izzy seated himself on a stool, and you quickly shot them a look before they hurried off with a giggle.

By a very nice miracle, the bar owner decided that today was when you could call in a favour that they owed you, so round after round of delicious food was sent yours and Izzy’s way. Izzy picked through a lot of it until he could make sense of what everything was, and you did your best to assuage his fears by telling him the ingredients you knew and enjoying every bite you took with relish.

When Izzy took the first bite of a dish he really liked, you watched the dawning enjoyment on his face with absolute pleasure. After that he tucked in without hesitation, sampling all that he could whilst sending you surreptitious glances to make sure that you were eating heartily as well. When the two of you were well and truly full, you wandered over to the bar with the dirty plates just to do your little bit to help out. Your barkeep friend said that they were glad you had found someone to be yourself with, and commented that your friend Izzy seemed to be entirely himself around you too.

You paid your respects to your friend and received a hearty hug in return. When you returned to Izzy the man was softly smiling, playing with some of the rings on his fingers. As you left the bar he offered you his arm again and you gladly took it.

Then you both spent the next few hours wandering around a sort of public garden, just chatting the time away. Sometimes you would reach out to run your hands across leaves that looked like they had nice textures and Izzy had a look in his eye that made it seem like he desperately wanted to be the plants that were deemed worthy of your touch. Yours was a curious friendship in that regard, because Izzy never seemed to know how much touch he wanted. You couldn’t say that you blamed him, given how touch starved the man’s life seemed to have been before this point. When he hugged you, he clung onto you like you might disappear from his grasp, might disappear forever if he didn’t treat you properly.

One of those kind of hugs was one you shared underneath the shade of a palm tree, away from prying eyes. He clung to you tightly, fiercely, communicating so many different emotions and words through touch. Through your touch you tried to say “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” You said those words out loud too just to make sure that your point was doubly heard, and Izzy only nestled closer to you as a result.

Dinner time came round swiftly but you were both still too full from earlier to even contemplate food, even though it sat quite nicely in your bellies. So you decided to implement your last plan of the day, as the sun began to set and cast wonderful colours across the sky. You walked Izzy to a small boating lake where people were happily rowing themselves around in little coracle like boats, each with a lantern at the centre. After paying for your own and receiving a lantern in return, you motioned for Izzy to get into the boat first. After that he took the lantern from you and offered his hand again to see you safely and securely into the boat. When he tried to take the oars you shook your head gently, beginning to paddle you both out into the twilight evening.

As you rowed, it gave you the perfect opportunity to look at Izzy longingly. He alternated between looking at you and looking out over the lake, occasionally picking up the lantern to look more closely at the water’s surface. Little fishes came up to meet the light and Izzy looked down at them with an interested expression, watching how their scales caught the light. He looked so at peace that it made your heart ache.

When he looked back over at you, every time his eyes were so full of fondness and softness that you wanted to weep. Izzy truly cared about you, you knew, and you would never take that for granted. He might even be one of the best people you knew, which was hard for your friends to understand. But there was just something about him, something that only you seemed to see.

He was a truly stunning person. And you hoped that Izzy knew that, in his own small way.

Eventually you rowed the pair of you to a secluded corner of the lake, surrounded by willow like trees. You pulled the oars into the boat and sighed happily, with Izzy giggling equally as happily at the sound.

“Thank you for today. You’ve treated me so well and I really appreciate it”, Izzy murmured genuinely, leaning forward a little.

You inclined your head a little, smiling.

“My pleasure, Iz. Thank you for allowing me to do all of this for you.”

Izzy looked down at his own hands and the rings that adorned them, the new shine to his boots from the boot polish you both tried out and bought.

“You’ve reminded me that I can have nice things.”

The man splayed his hands over his own chest and you felt your heart skip a beat when one of his fingers landed directly over the heart you knitted into his shirt.

“All of my thanks are with you. I’m still not used to being treated so nicely, but I appreciate it.”

You smile sincerely, also leaning forward a little, planting your feet more firmly against the bottom of the boat.

“You are a treasure, Iz. Worth every bad day and good day in this crazy life that we lead. And I want to remind you of that, always. I truly adore you.”

As the last word leaves your mouth, you realise that Izzy’s expression is even softer. A smidge of longing had crept in at the edges, lighting up his gorgeous eyes even more. Perhaps you realise how much you have said, even if you have said all of those things separately at different times. All together they practically sounded like a confession of love.

And perhaps that’s what this was, you realised. And perhaps that was just what Izzy wanted to hear.

As Izzy moved the lantern out of the way before taking your hands in his, you can feel your heart quivering with excitement. Even more so when he presses a kiss to the back of both of them whilst looking at you all the while.

“I adore you too. So much that sometimes it hurts to breathe.”

Izzy smiles self consciously and you giggle a little with delight.

“I know that confessing your feelings was not why you brought me out here, but I want to say this.”

The older man shook your joined hands, tilting his head to the side to get a better look at you.

“If you would be willing, I would like to give the two of us a go. See what we can build together with this adoration we share for each other.”

Those words were the most magical words you had ever heard in your life. Izzy was looking at you so dreamily that you wanted to melt right into his arms all over again.

“I would love that, Izzy. More than anything.”

The grin that spread across Izzy’s lips was fantastic, as was the ecstatic laugh he let out as he brought your hands to his lips again. He pressed kiss after kiss to them, punctuating each and every one with an “I adore you.”

“I adore you, Izzy Hands”, you whispered as he finally ran out of steam, taking a moment to gain his breath back. He smiled at you almost giddily and you were sure that you looked equally love struck.

A moment of silence lingered before Izzy Hands looked down at your lips and oh it felt good to know just why Izzy had looked at your lips so many times in the past. Before you knew it you were leaning in and Izzy met you halfway, claiming your lips for his own. The first kiss was incredibly gentle and feather light, and it was only with the second one that you both wrapped your arms around each other.

The only thing that stopped you both from kissing and kissing until you ran out of breath was the fact that your excitement was rocking the boat slightly, and neither of you wanted to end up in the lake.

Izzy smiled at you like a lovestruck school boy and took the oars from the middle of the boat.

“I am going to row us back and then take us back to the ship where I can kiss you properly.”

You had no problem with that plan at all.

—-

Once back upon the ship, you both madly raced for Izzy’s quarters. When the door was locked and you were both sealed in, Izzy gently backed you up against the wall and started kissing you all over again. In those next few minutes you found that Izzy really enjoyed having his hair played with and you loved it when he placed a hand over your chest to feel your heartbeat.

Once the two of you had kissed each other senseless, you both admitted to the fact that you were worn out. Delightfully so, but worn out none the less. Today had been a busy but exciting day. Izzy offered you the chance to stay in his cabin and you jumped at the chance, only leaving for long enough to gather your wash things and a spare pair of clothes. You both washed and undressed to a level where you both felt comfortable and then Izzy took you to his bed, immediately laying his head down on your chest when you had laid down.

As you played with Izzy’s hair and listened to the sound of the man’s calm breathing, you think that this is the happiest you have been for a long, long while.

“Night, Iz”, you murmur as you close your eyes.

“Night, sweetheart”, you hear Izzy murmur as he too closes his eyes and smiles to himself.

#izzy hands x reader #israel hands x reader #izzy hands x male reader #izzy fucking hands #izzy hands our flag means death #izzy hands era #our flag means death #izzy hands

[adzeisval]

Breathe

Izzy couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know what was going on or where he was but he knew he couldn’t breathe. The second detail that hit was that he couldn’t see. Izzy blinked and moved a hand to his face to double check that his eyes were open. They were. 

Izzy blinked harder and wondered if he had been blinded somehow. The panic rising in his chest made the inability to breathe even worse. Izzy tried to calm himself down and figure things out. 

What had happened?

It came back in bits and pieces. A storm. An island. Being pushed helplessly toward it. They’d wrecked then. It had been night when Izzy was last aware so there was a chance he wasn’t blind, that it was just too fucking dark to see.

Izzy focused on what he could hear. The ocean, nothing else. No voices, no moans of pain, no rescuers calling out. Where were the others? Had they made it out? Were they lying dead in the wreck? Near Izzy?

Izzy couldn’t breathe and he couldn’t call out for help. He was crushed under some part of the Revenge. Izzy moved slowly, luckily both his hands were free, to feel if he could move what was pinning him down. 

He didn’t know what was on him or if he could push it off himself. He hesitated. If he made the wrong move it could get worse, something could  shift and he’d be crushed to death. 

On the other hand he was getting weaker. The lack air was taking a toll and if he didn’t act soon he wouldn’t be able to. Izzy moved a little trying to figure out how bad he was hurt. Everything hurt but he could move his legs under the rubble, his hips felt alright and his arms were good. He didn’t want to think about his ribs, some of those were certainly broken. . 

If he was going to try to get out it would have to be soon. 

Izzy rested a few moments, breathing as steadily as he could. He was going to have to be quick. No one was coming for him. He tried not to think too much on why. 

Izzy took as deep a breath as he could manage and pushed. He gave it his all but it was not enough, and as the wreckage settle on his chest again it shifted. Izzy couldn’t breathe at all.

Izzy tried, but his chest would not expand against the weight on it. He tried to push with his arms but he had lost most of the leverage he’d had and he could not lift it. His arms fell down at his sides. He tried not to panic. 

Maybe someone would…maybe…no. 

No. 

Fuck. 

It hurt. His lungs burned, his chest spasmed, his mind swam, and he wanted it to be done with. He tried to focus on something other than the fact that he was dying. He thought of Edward and wondered if he had survived. Izzy wondered if anyone had. Was he the last to die? Izzy tried not to think of death but it was the only thing he could think of. 

Tears sprung to his eyes as he waited to die. 

Izzy thought he heard something, but he wasn’t sure. He thought there might be some light but didn’t think it was real. Almost done…Izzy could ignore the light and the sounds at first but then someone touched him and Izzy flinched. The sounds were louder. Voices. Frantic. 

“Breathe Izzy!” 

He did. It fucking hurt, and he still couldn’t breathe all that well.

“That’s it Iz, just keep breathing.”

Edward. 

Izzy concentrated on breathing, on staying awake even when he wanted to pass out. His vision cleared a little and he could see Edward crouched down beside him. Worried. Alive. He felt the soothing pressure of Edward’s hand on his cheek.

“Edward…” Izzy felt dizzy, why was it still so hard to breathe?

“We’ve got you Izzy, we’re not far from help, just try to stay awake,” Edward said. Izzy let Edward take charge and tried to breathe and tried his best to stay awake. Izzy knew he was safe now. That Edward and the crew would take care of him. Do their best. All he had to do was keep breathing. Do his best. 

It wasn’t until much, much, later that Izzy realized how close he had been to death even after the wreckage was lifted off him. Seven broken ribs, a collapsed lung, dislocated shoulder. He’d been bleeding internally. Once they had gotten back and had treated Izzy best they could, Roach had given Izzy only a small chance of living until morning. 

Six months had passed since that night and Izzy stood and looked at the ship Edward had just acquired. 

“What do you say Iz? Ready to go?” Edward smiled. 

Izzy smiled back and took a deep breath, “I’m ready.”

#ofmd #izzy hands

[averagebrokenvesselenjoyer]

The arm lookz fucked up but im too lazy to fix it :3 thiz verzion iz moztly juzt to get the colorz of the outfit right (even if it lookz like garbage,, im not good at dezigning outfitz) n_n zo... Note that there WILL be zpoilerz for tearz of the kingdom from now on zo,, read at your own rizk :P

Lcg au!!:3 or lucky clover gazette au o_u

Bazically link forgor EVERYTHING again —3—" yeaa not the mozt creative au but i want my baby to be happy :3

The malice- or, i guezz gloom took over mozt hiz body by the time rauru waz able to zave him :P he juzt barely made it out alive, though rauru couldn't give him an ear or eye becauz he already uzed mozt hiz power on the arm and rezucitating him (-_-;)

Link haz little to no interezt in zaving zelda in thiz, mainly juzt chazing cluez about her with Penn whenever they get new leadz :3 alzo becauze zelda keepz wrecking havoc everywhere he checkz!!1!

He'll zometimez get flazhbackz from hiz pazt, including hiz other livez n_n like calling the izlandz "zkyloft", or thinking theyre talking about ghirahim when purah or impa talk about the demon king to him, or even ztraight-up talking about hiz loftwing. (Yez i really like zkyward zword, can you blame me,,) he'll even refer to zelda az hylia out of nowhere and not even realize n_n he haz no idea whatz going on at all timez, but he'll zometimez azk about phi/navi, only to get confuzed lookz. Everyone thinkz hez talking nonzenze, though a few hiztorianz will recognize a name or two, leading to him getting queztioned relentlezzly about where he learned them.

Hez an abzolute BEAZT in the battlefield, im talking like, killing a gleeok on hiz underwear with a couple ztickz. Zilver lynelz fear hiz name!!!! Which iz... Uh... He cant remember :P

He conztantly makez referencez to other zelda gamez, totally not a way for me to flex or anything. Anywayz he playz the wind fizh zong on every inztrument he comez acrozz-

Alzo he callz the malanya "mari" :3 becauze the tune remindz him of her (hez the only one that can hear it). They think itz az a nickname becauze he'll VERY often go down to akkala to zhow off hiz newezt friend, but he genuinely thinkz thatz their name (づ￣ ³￣)づ he getz a lot of namez mixed up actually. Like calling the korok tree the "deku tree" and calling buliara "urboza" n_n

Zo ermmmm thatz like all (´ε｀ ) I'll probably get more ideaz zoon,, and i will rant about them here again,,,

It totally came out better in paper :/ i zuck at digital.·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·.

#totk spoilers #tears of the kingdom #link tears of the kingdom #link totk #totk au #loz link #tloz

[run-me-through-but-not-like-that]

Love your izzy/reader stuff!!! (The alphabet was really good <333) Would you do one where izzy and reader used to be lovers (maybe on blackbeard's ship?) and they reunite on the revenge? I have a soft spot for lovers who don't work out at first but end up finding each other again some time later and happily end up together (also, the revenge can be a good place for izzy to get some development and see how other healthy couples act!!! at least after the whole kraken debacle passes, lol)

This turned out much longer than I originally thought it would be 😂

Reuniting with your past lover, Izzy Hands (Gn!Reader):

When the crew of the Revenge pulled a survivor out of the remnants of a wrecked ship, the last thing they expected was to find a member of Blackbeard's crew.

For the most part, the crew didn't believe you at first. Black Pete had quizzed you about the infamous captain and your answers seemed to satisfy him. Captain Bonnet, however, believed you.

You were welcomed aboard and as part of the crew, eventually convincing the rest of them that your story was true. You were in fact a member of Blackbeard's crew before being left behind after raiding the ship they had found you on.

After realising that you were a much more seasoned pirate than Stede and were already teaching the rest of the crew how to effectively run the ship, Stede promoted you to his first hand.

You had become used to your new life, your new crew, you even liked it. It was very different to working for Blackbeard but it was a nice change, more relaxed, more friendly. It took some time for you to get used too the differences but you managed and you were content, at least for the most part.

Everything was going fine...unless your crew got into some trouble...and it was Blackbeard's crew that saved you all.

Thankfully, none of them had noticed you during the chaos and afterwards you kept your distance from Blackbeard and his men.

You didn't stand out from Stede's crew anymore, no longer in your leathers, so it didn't surprise you when they didn't recognise you instantly. Plus, you weren't sure if Blackbeard would remember you at all.

The Revenge was sailing off again before anyone noticed your familiar face, and it was the one man you had been avoiding the most.

You were crossing the deck when you heard your name being called, a familiar voice filled with an uncharacteristic amount of surprise.

You paused before turning towards the man clad in black.

"Israel" you greeted him blankly, the rest of the crew beginning to stop their tasks and watch on, not so subtly.

"We thought you were dead" and he really was looking at you like he was seeing a ghost, your surprise appearance shattering his usual façade for just a moment.

"Yeah, well, I'm alive. Always have been. You might have known that if anyone had bothered to look for me" your words were bitter, you knew that, but you didn't care much. You were left for dead by people you thought you could trust.

"Blackbeard gave orders" was Izzy's only defence. "We're glad to see you're alright" the words came out strained, almost unsure.

"Don't start acting like you care now, Iz. We both know you don't" you laughed humourlessly, shaking your head. "Now, I have things to do, so if you don't mind."

From that moment on the crew knew there was a tension between you and Izzy hands but none had suspected a past relationship of sorts. The crew adored you, you were one of them, and they didn't like Izzy at all so they didn't even consider the idea of you having been involved with each other.

They assumed he had just been a harsh first hand, even more so when he had near complete control over the crew, and you resented him for it. That made more sense to them than you having been lovers or anything like that.

You avoided Izzy as much as you could after that, but always reminding him that you no longer work for him when he gave an order to you or your crew.

Still, you were both first hands to the men who were currently...co-captaining, so you couldn't avoid each other completely.

Not one kind word was shared between you both.

-

You had been standing at the helm of the ship one night, enjoying the peace and quiet, when Blackbeard - no, Edward now - joined you.

"You were missed among the crew, I'm glad you're alright" his words had surprised you, but so had everything you had seen of him since he arrived on the ship. You never had much contact with Edward when you worked for him, only Izzy did.

"Thanks...to be honest, I didn't even think you'd remember me" you confessed, feeling much more able to speak honestly with the captain than you once would have.

"I might not have but Iz became insufferable when we thought you were dead" Edward was as equally honest with you, knowing he was never very personally involved with his crew.

"...what do you mean?" your face scrunched up in confusion.

"He's always wound up too tight but he's effective, he just became worse after raiding that ship. Ran the crew harder, questioned me more. Didn't know what was going on with him until he mentioned a crew member we lost, figured that's what caused the change" you listened to his words but still...you found it hard to believe they really meant much.

"Yeah, he's never took failing well" you scoffed, pinning his increased frustration down the raid not going as smoothly as possible.

"We've lost crew members before, we're pirates, it's what happens. Sometimes he gets pissy about it...but not like this time, this was different" Edward shook his head, knowing his first hand better than that to know when something is effecting him.

"...well, good talk, Edward but I should go check in with my captain" it was a weak attempt to get out of the conversation, you both knew that, but you honestly weren't sure how else to respond.

-

It's been torture for Izzy, watching you with this crew like you belonged. Dressed in your loose and more colourful fabrics rather than your usual blacks and leathers, laughing with the crew, sharing with them, talking about goddamn feelings like it was nothing.

He hated the whole fucking crew. These weren't pirates, how you could integrate with them, become one of them, and like it?

But Izzy was also seeing things that he hadn't seen before.

Lucius and Pete clearly cared deeply about each other despite not being completely exclusive, it seemed to work because they...communicated.

Olu and Jim were close, trusted each other.

It was all insufferable to witness, to see Fang and Ivan pulled into this...soft way of life.

The worst part was the effect Stede fucking Bonnet had on Blackbeard. Since when did Edward share his feelings, since when did he interact with the crew so much. This wasn't Blackbeard anymore, this was Edward Teach and it made Izzy sick.

You appeared to welcome these changes though, he had seen you speaking with Edward on occasion. You didn't seem afraid of your past captain, hell he even saw you laughing with him once.

No, the worst part was that interaction made him wonder when he last heard you laugh. Had he ever made you laugh? He couldn't remember, and it made his chest feel all weird. He really didn't like that.

Neither of you had spoke about your past dalliances, your past involvement, you had barely spoke at all. Like it never happened.

-

Even with you and Izzy seemingly trying to do your best to avoid each other, or to stubborn withstand each other's presence when you had too.

The two of you might have believed that you were being convincing and subtle, but the crew were picking up on, most deciding not to pry but...some just couldn't resist.

"So...there's some tension with Izzy" Lucius commented when the two of you were sitting together, a knowingly look on his face.

"He used to be my boss, of course there is" you attempted to shrug it off but you knew that Lucius must have seen deeper than that, he was good with that sort of thing.

"You get along with Edward just fine" he pointed out.

"Edward is tolerable. He's learning things from Stede, never spoke with him so much. Izzy is...a nightmare" you insisted, words unconvincing.

"Hmm, seems like more than a bad boss to me" Lucius hummed, raising an eyebrow at you as he uselessly hit his hammer against the railing of the ship.

"Fine" you gave in with a sigh, admitting, "yeah, we were...involved, I guess."

"Knew it" Lucius grinned, his hammering ceasing. This was far more interesting to him. "Can't believe it, but I knew it. You can do so much better. I mean...Izzy?" his grin faded, his expression turning into one of confusion.

"We ended it a couple of weeks before the raid were I got separated from the crew. It was never perfect but guess that argument was just where we drew the line. We...weren't going to work out in the long run" it did feel good to get this off of your chest, you hadn't talked to anyone about your relationship with Izzy before, and Lucius usually gave pretty good advice on this sort of thing.

"So, the ex-boyfriend" Lucius mused.

"I wouldn't really call him a boyfriend" you scoffed, figuring that title would be too sentimental for what you had, for Izzy's liking.

"Well, considering he wasn't a boyfriend, he sure does stare at you a lot" he sounded like he was trying to cause trouble, maybe he was.

"What?" you asked with a small frown and Lucius bit back an amused smile at your reaction.

"You haven't noticed? He's always looking at you, can't tell what he's thinking though" well, that gave you something to think about as you fell silent.

-

You were usually the last one to turn in for the night, being the first hand and your duty being to make sure that everything runs smoothly.

You weren't too surprised to see that Izzy was still awake, leaning against the railing of the ship and looking out at the dark waves.

At first you were going to ignore him, just go to bed, but he looked like he was deep in thought, like something was bothering him.

Damn your sentimentality.

"Fuck it" you muttered to yourself.

You didn't speak as you stood beside him, leaning your elbows against the railing just like he was. He didn't react.

"Thinking about something?" you asked but got no response, so you continued, "we share our thoughts on this ship, y'know?"

"Fucking pathetic, can't believe they pulled you into this" that's about the reaction you expected from him, that familiar sound of disapproval.

"It's not that bad...kinda nice, actually...to feel like somebody's got your back" you shrugged, refusing to let him drag you back down to your old ways.

Izzy didn't respond to that, just staring out at the waves.

He had your back.

...until he didn't...

"I know you don't like how Edward's...changing but it's good for him. Stede's teachings have been good for all of us" you told him, not wanting him to drag Edward back down either.

"It's made you fucking soft" Izzy scoffed but his tone was lacking his usual bite.

"...that's not always a bad thing" you defended, only receiving another scoff. "It could have done us some favours" your voice became quieter, finally bringing up your past together though it really wasn't that long ago.

"Never were good at that" Izzy agreed quietly.

"I'm happy here, Edward is happy here...you could be too, if you let yourself" you promised him. "We like to talk on this ship so...if you ever want to talk, I'm here" you assured him.

He didn't say anything so you just gave him a nod before leaving, hoping that some of your words might have gotten through to him.

-

Things change after that, nothing too drastic, but noticeable enough for you and some more perceptive members of the crew.

The tension between you and Izzy was easing up a little, the two of you even enjoying sitting together in a comfortable silence from time to time.

You could talk like co-first-hands, but it never really got too personal.

Strictly professional.

Even if that's not what either of you wanted.

You should have known that it was only a matter of time before everything came up again one way or another.

"Remind me, why did we end things?" Izzy's question caught you off guard, it being just a little too forward for him.

"Because we weren't good together" you reminded him but he must have already known that.

"We weren't?" he asked, the way he was looking at you was making it hard to meet his gaze.

"I couldn't do it anymore, we couldn't be what the other wanted" you told him, "you couldn't open up, couldn't put anything before your duty to Blackbeard, and I didn't even know what you wanted."

"I...I wanted you" in all fairness, he sounded honest.

"Didn't feel like you did" you admitted, striking a icy feeling into Izzy's chest, "it was like you wanted a version of me but not all of me, and you couldn't give me all of yourself."

"I didn't know how" Izzy confessed, surprising you a little.

He rarely opened up, this was probably the most honest and vulnerable he's ever been with you.

"Neither did I...but now I do and I can't go back to the way things were. So unhappy and repressed, I hope you come to the same realisation because, despite everything, I want you to be happy" your tone was soft, gently chiselling away at Izzy's defences.

"Why?" his laugh was bitter, like he didn't believe you.

"Because I really did care for you even if things didn't work out, still do I suppose. Never knew any different to what we were, what we had, now I know and I think you deserve it too" you couldn't tell what he was thinking and he didn't say anything.

Just like it always had been, he never could truly let you in.

"Night, Izzy" you sighed, walking away in defeat.

"I cared about you too" the words came suddenly as Izzy spun around, like suddenly deciding that he didn't want you to leave, "after the raid, I tried to convince Blackbeard to turn back, to just check the wreckage for survivors but he wouldn't change his mind."

You believed him, you really did.

"Night, Iz" you gave him a small smile before leaving, heading to your cabin.

Izzy knew he had to do something, say something.

He knew that somebody else would know what the right thing was even if he didn't.

Izzy is too proud to ask for advice, though he wouldn't admit that, he would simply insist that he didn't need advice. But the truth was that he was lost, he knew he had to do something but he didn't know what or how.

-

Everything came to a boiling point when you got hurt. Stede had gotten himself in trouble and, in true first hand fashion, you had put your life on the line for him.

Izzy had brought your unconscious form back to the ship, Stede and Edward guiding him to the captain's cabin, Stede insisting that you would be taking his bed until you had recovered. You had risked your life for his own after all.

Izzy had stayed when Roach did the stitches on your abdomen, Edward having to tell him to relax and stop chastising Roach for doing the best job he could.

He never left your side while you slept, nobody sure whether you would wake up or not. He barely slept, only ate and drank when one of the captains would bring him something.

There was no doubt about it among the crew now, everyone knew were Izzy had been for the last couple of days. He loved you, he must have.

-

When you finally woke up with a groan of discomfort, Izzy was the only other person in the room. He had never felt so much relief, seeing you wake up and look at him.

"Iz..." you croaked out, causing him to hurry to get you some water. You drank the whole thing. "What happened?" you asked.

"You got stabbed, protecting Stede fucking Bonnet" you knew he disapproved, it was clear in his voice.

"You would have done the same for Edward" you pointed out, having enough energy to roll your eyes at him.

He knew he couldn't argue with that.

Still, he tried, "don't do something so fucking stupid again."

"If you're just going to shout at me for doing my job, you can leave" you sighed, turning your head away from him and staring out the window. Maybe nothing had changed for him.

"...sorry" Izzy rasped, sounding tired. "I was..." there was something in his tone, like there was something he wanted to say but just couldn't.

You looked at him again. Alright, maybe he was trying.

"Some might come back from a raid mentally devastated. When that happens, we talk it through as a crew" you told him, slightly playfully with a small smile.

"Fucking Christ" Izzy groaned, dragging his hand over his face and you laugh.

He couldn't but smile a little. There, he did it, he made you laugh.

"It's okay, Iz. What do you want to say?" you encouraged, reaching out and taking his hand.

"I was...I was afraid, that you would die" Izzy confessed, earning another soft smile from you.

"I'm fine. It hurts but I'm going to be okay" you assured him.

It wasn't the first time you'd been on the wrong end of a sword, though it was probably the worst wound you had received.

"I already lost you once, thought you were dead, I didn't want to lose you again" his words warmed your heart, being unlike anything he had said to you before. Genuine, sentiment, caring, dare you say loving.

"You haven't lost me. I'm right here" you squeezed his hand as a physical reminder.

Izzy turned his hand around, lacing his fingers through yours.

"You were wrong, about us not being good for each other" he told you, staring down at your intertwined hands, "I wasn't good for you but you were good for me, I just didn't see it at the time."

You couldn't remember the last time he looked like this. Tired, defeated. Only then did you come to the realisation that he mustn't have slept for as long as you've been unconscious. Had he even left your side?

"You look tired" you frowned, stroking your thumb along the side of his hand.

"I...haven't slept" he confirmed your suspicions.

"Stede's bed is big enough for two. You can get some rest and watch over me at the same time" you reasoned, wincing when you tried to move over.

With a little more convincing and letting him help you shift closer to the window, Izzy did lay down with you.

Hands still interlocked as you both drifted off into well needed sleeps.

Stede and Edward did end up walking on on the sight when they came to check on you. That shouldn't be surprising, it was their cabin after all.

However, they decided to let you both rest and quietly slip back out of the room.

The colour had returned to your face and Izzy was finally sleeping, those were good signs so they would leave you be for a little while longer.

-

Once your wound was healed enough, you were back on your feet and back to your usual duties, giving Stede and Ed their cabin back as soon as you could.

Everybody was glad to see that you were alright but were a little less pleased about how Izzy had glued himself to your side.

You were barely ever alone but you didn't seem to mind, Izzy was always right there.

He had actually been your makeshift crutch when you first started walking around again, always there for you to lean against if you pulled on your wound.

The two of you were working together well as co-first-hands, better than ever.

Functioning like a well oiled machine, just like you used too.

The difference this time was that there wasn't a forced distance between you both, the walls that kept you apart had crumbled, letting you see each other properly for the first time.

-

Night fell, the sun setting, Stede having read to the crew and everyone had turned in for the night.

Except for the first hands standing at the helm of the ship, of course.

"You should rest" Izzy told you, it sounding more like an order than a suggestion.

"I'm fine" you told him, earning a disapproving look from him. "Honestly, I am" you chuckled slightly, appreciating the concern but you really were healing well.

"...alright" he nodded, giving in and choosing to believe you.

"Thank you, though" you smiled softly, clarifying, "for being here while I was recovering."

"Don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon" he shrugged, almost as if those words meant nothing but you knew they meant a lot.

They meant everything.

"I think we've come a long way, Iz" you truly had never felt so close to him.

"Still have some way to go" Izzy nodded, knowing that there were still hurdles to jump but he felt confident about his ability to do so.

"Obviously" you chuckled, nodding in agreement. "But...we're better, we're...something" you reminded him, nudging your shoulder against his.

"We always have been, just needed to..." he frowned a little, unable to think of an appropriate word to express himself.

"To grow?" you asked and he nodded.

There was a short pause before you took a breath and asked, "do you think...we could try again?"

"Yeah, I'd like that" Izzy breathed out as if he had been holding his breath, like a weight was lifted from his shoulders.

With a smile, you took his hand and turned to him as he turned to face you.

"I think this could work out this time. We just have to communicate, to be open with each other" you really had high hopes that the two of you could become something better.

"I think I'd like that, with you" Izzy breathed, resting his forehead against yours in a surprisingly tender manner, making you smile again.

When you noticed his eyes fluttering shut, you tilted your chin up, lips meeting his. Izzy returned your kiss with a longing that you weren't familiar with, something that he hadn't displayed so openly before and it gave you hope.

It told you that he felt the same.

The two of you could try again, could be better than before, the two of you could work out the way you both craved too.

#izzy hands x reader #ofmd #izzy hands #our flag means death #ofmd izzy

[gojifan97]

Dads For Deku: Pride

Ground Zero lay at Stain’s feet, bleeding, paralyzed, helpless. Despite this he continued to glare at Stain and utter futile threats. Stain raised his sword. Time to cull another false her-

“Stendhal!” a familiar voice cried out. Stain turned around.

“Or should I call you the Hero Killer, Stain,” said a masked young man in a dark costume, one that looked like it could belong to either an underground hero or villain. But he was neither, he was Izuku Midoriya, Stain’s prized pupil and vigilante-to-be.

“You finally figured it out,” Stain said.

“I should have sooner. Stopping your killings for a while was smart, so was committing what murders you did do in areas far from where we were staying. But still, the signs were there. I should have seen it from the start. But I was blinded by the opportunity to learn how to fight villains and save people, blinded by living my dream (even outside the law), blinded by someone supporting me, and I didn’t want to see it,” Izuku said. “But now I do. And now I’m here to stop you.”

“Do you really want to fight me?” Stain said.

“No. That’s why I’m giving you a chance. Sheathe your sword. Stand down and give up your murderous ways.”

“No. We both know I won’t do that. To create a world where good and evil do battle, pure and unvarnished by the vanity of the current heroes or the petulance of the current villains, to create a world where they are true opposing forces and not mere players on a stage, I must cull the unworthy!”

“And what about me? I just told you how my personal feelings stopped me from acting. I’m unworthy.”

“You weren’t trying to assume the role of a hero then. I was still training you. You don’t have to do it now either. Walk away, and you’ll be left unharmed.”

“We both know why I will never do that.”

“Are you sure about this? You don’t even want to fight me.”

“Maybe not, but to protect those in need from evildoers, from murderers, I have to. I want to save people. And the person I need to save is him. All Might once said, the essence of being a hero is sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong and I’m sticking mine here!

“Who are you, hero?” Stain said.

“No One.”

Stain smiled. “Very well, No One, you’re free to try and stop me. But remember, even if I try not to kill you, I will not let you succeed. Battles can be very chaotic and unpredictable, even one not seeking to take a life may end up doing so.”

No-one’s eyes hardened, “I know. But I’ll still make sure I don’t take yours.” He pulled out his metal escrima sticks and charged. He would be on Stain before Stain could strike a reliable death blow on Ground Zero. Stain moved his sword into a defensive position.

The two clashed.

No One fought offensively, unleashing a flurry of blows while using his escrima sticks to parry Stain’s attacks. Stain could barely keep track of his movements, but years killing Pros had given him excellent instincts, allowing him to block most of the attacks. Those he didn’t were weak enough to not do much harm. Stain lashed out with his sword, trying to cut No One and draw his blood, but Stain had trained him well, No One blocked each blow with either the escrima sticks or his armored gauntlets.

No One was faster and stronger than Stain and began forcing him back (off and away from Ground Zero). Stain wasn’t sure if he was better than Stain had been in his prime, it would have surely been a good fight, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was winning this fight here and now. All Stain had to do was land a cut and lick the blood, and it would all be over.

While holding Stain’s sword to one side with one escrima stick, No One attempted to swing the other at Stain’s head. Stain blocked the blow, drew the knife in his sleeve, and cut No One’s wrist.

No One dropped his escrima stick, then grabbed the hilt of the knife before Stain could lick it. He kicked Stain in the stomach, causing Stain to stumble and drop the knife. He let go of Stain’s arm. An attempt to make him fall. Unfortunately for him, Stain kept his balance. Now all he had to do was get that knife.

No One threw a desperate swing at Stain’s head, which Stain blocked with embarrassing ease. No One parried the sword aside while lashing out for a with an awkward looking pun- No, with his Taser!

Stain dropped his sword and grabbed No One’s wrist before he could strike him with the Taser. He tried to wrestle No One away, but No One wasn’t giving up. He kneed Stain several times. Stain managed to kick him with his spiked boot, and throw him off. It had only been a glancing blow, but enough to cause pain, and to draw blood.

No One whirled around and charged at Stain again. Stain dropped to the ground, wiped his finger against the blood on his boot, and brought it to his mouth.

No One lunged.

Stain licked.

Stain rolled to the side as No One collapsed to the ground. Paralyzed. “You fought well No One. That feint while you drew the Taser was good. But it was not enough. Now-“

He heard movement behind him.

Stain turned around to see Ground Zero shaking off his paralysis and leaping to his feet. “DIIIEEE!” He blasted himself forward and swung his arm to fire a massive explosion at them both. Stain grabbed Izuku and leaped over and around the flames. Using a small knife, he cut Ground Zero in the shoulder as he passed. He licked the blade. Ground Zero was helpless again.

Stain walked toward him, trembling with fury. “You fake! He risked his life to save you and that is how you repay him?! By nearly blowing him up in a futile attempt to bring me down?! YOU EMBODY EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THIS WORLD! You fight for your own self-aggrandization, while stepping on those you perceive as unworthy! You harm true heroes so they can no longer threaten your fragile ego!” Stain stopped talking and panted heavily with rage. Soon he had regained control. “I will enjoy culling your blood most of all,” Stain said, readying his knife to end this filth.

Footsteps approaching.

Stain looked up in time to see No One lunging forward, Taser in hand. Stain swung the knife toward his wrist. No One blocked it with his gauntlet. Stain grabbed his wrist and twisted the Taser out of it. No One punched Stain. The two began brawling. Stain tried using another knife, but No One knew how to counter them. He blocked it with his gauntlet and twisted it out of Stain’s hand. Then he began grappling with Stain. Stain had trained in grapples, but No One had focused on them far more. Submission holds were more important when you were trying to defeat your opponents non-lethally after all.

Stain would not give in. Either Ground Zero would die, or Stain would. He squirmed and managed to throw No-One off of him. He raised his head, only to see the Taser going for his neck, too late for him to stop. He hadn’t thrown No One off after all, No One had merely seen an opportunity. Stain felt the Taser press against his skin, followed by the electric shock.

__________________________________________________________________

Katsuki tried to look at the bastard who’d just defeated Stain. It was hard with this damn paralysis, but he wasn’t one for giving up. Out of the corner of his vision he saw him tie up the Hero Killer with zip ties, pick up some weapons, wipe the sword off, and walk away.

“WAIT!” Katsuki said, “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?”

“Isn’t it obvious Katsuki Bakugo?” the vigilante said.

That voice, it sounded almost…familiar.

“I am No One.” He walked off.

__________________________________________________________________

Stain awoke to the sounds of sirens and voices.

“-o idea. The blood on the ground’ll be too contaminated to use, even if it does belong to whoever did this. We don’t have any solid blood samples we can use.

So, he managed to defeat me non-lethally after all.

Ground Zero was still alive, Stain was still alive, and he was being arrested. Stain should be furious but a part of him felt…happy. He’d succeeded. He’d given rise to a new hero. A real hero.

“ONLY A TRUE HERO MAY KILL ME!” he said. “NO ONE ELSE HAS THE RIGHT! NO ONE, ALL MIGHT, AND LEMILLION ARE WORTHY!”

“Only two people huh? Tall standards,” said one of the police officers. But it didn’t matter. Let him remain in ignorance. Because another police officer was saying, “We’ve got too wanted villains tied up three blocks down. They have no idea who did it.”

Still doing hero work, not even an hour after defeating the mighty Hero Killer. Like a true hero Iz- like a true hero No One.

Stain began to laugh. Around him the police and heroes stared, but he didn’t care. He knew the truth of this night.

This night.

A hero was born.

#My hero academia #Dadsfordeku #hero killer stain #midoriya izuku #katsuki bakugo #vigilantism #vigilante deku

[beclynn-herondale]

TMI but different

Chapter: 1

(Tmi and tsc as well as the characters all belong to Cassandra Clare)

"So you and Simon are going to Pandemonium tonight?" Asked Jona

He was Clary's big brother, he often stood up for her when she wanted to to do stuff that their mom freaked out about

"Yeah," she said

"Just a warning, if you don't come on time mom will freak," he told her.

"I know," she said and sighed

"Do you want me to come with, and make sure you get back on time," he said teasingly

She rolled her eyes at him

"My dear brother, if you want to come so badly you can just ask," she said

"I got nothing better to do," he said like he didn't care.

______

Later they met up with Simon and went to pandemonium, she saw a blue haired boy, who she thought had cool hair, of course Jona teased her like she liked him, big brothers could get on your nerves.

As they were dancing she saw him again

"Isn't the music good," said Simon, trying to start a conversation.

"I think it is nice," Jona replied.

"it's good," Clary said

They were dancing for a few more minutes and then she saw a girl with long raven hair in a white dress moving towards the boy with blue hair, they danced for a few minutes and went off to a closet.

______

Jace was walking beside Alec, Izzy was with them as well, getting ready to seduce and trick a demon, lately they had all been on and on about Valentine and how he was alive, honestly Jace was bored with it.

"Why can't we send Jace to seduce for once," Izzy said.

"I don't think Jace wants to do that," said Alec in his sheepish voice

"I would look stunning in that dress," replied Jace.

He looked around the crowd and saw a girl with bright red hair, it was like the sunset and beautiful.

______

"So should I ditch you two and get a date?" Said her brother jokingly.

"You get a date? ha," Clary replied to her brother.

"I'll have you know there are many boys and girls at out school who would love to go out with me," he said.

Her brother was a pansexual, not a well known sexuality, in fact if it hadn't been for her brother being pan, she wouldn't know about it, but she supported and loved him, she feared for him at times though, some people at their school were not kind to people in the lgbtq+ community. She never understood why people hated on those who were different.

"Well get a date than," Simon said

Her brother smiled but didn't leave.

At that moment she saw two boys go into the closet that the raven haired girl went into with the blue haired boy a few minutes ago, and she saw they had swords.

"Clary?" Said Simon

She turned and looked at him

"Simon those boys have swords," she said. "And they are heading into that closet where I saw a girl and that blue haired boy go into, I think they are going to hurt them."

"Do you want me to get security?" Asked Simon

Him and Jona were looking at her weird, like they didn't believe her.

"Yes, go, Jona you go with him, I'll wait here," she told them.

After they left she went after them, she knew she should stay but she couldn't risk them being too late.

______

Jace and Alec were waiting for Izzy to get the demon alone, Jace looked around the crowd and saw the red haired girl again, she was dancing with two boys, one with white hair and the other had brown hair.

"You're staring," Alec said

"No I am not," said Jace.

Alec said something that wasn't exactly correct, Jace corrected him, the joke was ruined and Jace gave one more look at the girl with red hair before they went into the closet after Iz and the demon.

______

Clary opened the closet door and walked in, the raven haired girl had tied the boy with blue hair with what looked like wire, she couldn't be sure though.

The blond boy was walking towards him talking to him, and the blue haired boy said "Valentine is back." Or something, the blond was saying something about how everytime they caught one of them that's what they said and said Valentine is in the ground."

Clary thought these people are crazy

They went on talking for a few more moments and then Jace the blond was gonna kill the boy she saw and she ran out and said

"Stop! You can't do this!"

Jace spun around and saw her, he looked shocked, the other two did as well, the tall one , Alec looked annoyed.

"What's this?" Said Alec

"It's a girl," Jace said. "Your sister Isabelle is one, surely you know that."

Alec gave him a annoyed look, he seemed good at that look.

Everything happened so fast, the boy got free and attacked Jace, he got hurt, and they killed the demon, at some point Isabelle the girl, had caught Clary by the wrist with her whip.

She heard Jace say "Let her go." And she thought he said it gently but she must have imagined it.

After that they told her only she could see them and she could call the police but they wouldn't see them, at that moment Simon was at the door with the security guard.

"Clary..." He said

"It's nothing, I must have imagined it," she said.

Simon looked embarrassed, they walked out, she gave one last look at Jace, and she thought there was something in the way he looked at her but probably not.

______

Jona was waiting for Clary and Simon outside, he didn't say but he saw the people Clary had, though he thought maybe he was just seeing something.

He was on the phone with their mom, she was going on about how they need to be home now.

He saw Clary and Simon coming out then.

"We'll be home soon mom, I'll keep Clary safe don't worry," he said and told his mom bye, and hung up the phone.

"So did you find the ghosts?" He asked.

Clary rolled her eyes at him like she always dod

"No, I must have saw something," she said

"Maybe you are just stressed," Simon tried to reassure her.

Jona knew he liked Clary but his sister didn't realize, and Jona was not going to get involved with that.

He also couldn't unsee what he saw and hoped it wouldn't be brought up again.

They went home.

Tag list: @khaleesiofalicante @chibi-tsukiko @megs-readstoomuch @spotsandclawsthings

#clary fray #clary fairchild #jace herondale #clace #jonathan morgenstern #alec lightwood #magnus bane #malec #isabelle lightwood #izzy lightwood #simon lewis #sizzy #tsc #the shadowhuter chronicles #tmi #the mortal instruments #tmi au #bec's writing

[moonlight-breeze-44]

sacrifice (i would have loved you all my life)

The fic based on a prompt from @thelightofthebane is finally here! It will be posted in four chapters, this being the first <3 I hope you enjoy!! 

Read on AO3

Alec took a deep breath and willed his hands to stop shaking. He didn’t have much time.

The half-written letter on his desk glared at him, and Alec sighed. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t find the words. How was he supposed to tell his family that he would never see them again? It was feeling more and more like an impossibility with each minute that ticked by.

“Right,” Alec muttered to himself. “I can do this.” He picked up the pen once more.

Jace,

By the time you find this, I’ll be gone. You’re going to lose your parabatai rune. It’s going to feel like I’m dying, but I’m not. I can’t explain everything, but I’m doing this for Magnus. You didn’t see him at the loft, after I tried to propose. He was devastated. Heartbroken. He can’t go on like this, without his magic. He needs it back. This is the only way. I’m sorry. I love you and I wish I didn’t have to do this.

Please don’t look for me. I know I’m making the right choice. It’s hard, but it’s for the best. Watch out for the others. Don’t do what you always do and get yourself killed. Clary and the others are there, if you’d just let them be. Please let them, Jace, for me.

I’ll miss you. You’ll be okay, Jace. Everyone will be.

Remember that our rune is just a symbol of what we have. When it breaks, we won’t break. We’ll always be parabatai, even without the rune.

Alec

Alec exhaled shakily and folded the letter into an envelope, scrawling Jace’s name on top of it. There. That would have to do. There was so much more that he wanted to say to his parabatai, but he didn’t have the time. He still had to write letters for Izzy, his mom, and Magnus.

Alec took a deep breath and reached for another sheet of paper. He didn’t regret his choice, but he was starting to realise just how much he had to give up. Magnus, he reminded himself. This is for Magnus.

With that, Alec steeled himself and started to write once more.

Izzy,

By the time you find this, I’ll be gone. I’m not dead. I’m not being coerced into writing this. This is my choice. Please don’t look for me. Tell Jace not to look for me, too. Things are going to be bad for a while, but this is the way it has to be. I’m sorry.

I can’t explain everything right now; I’m running out of time. But just know that I’m doing this for Magnus, because I love him and because he deserves so much more than I could ever give him. Please take care of him for me, Iz. I know this won’t be easy, but it’s for the best.

I’ll miss you, Izzy. It’ll be alright, I promise. You’ll be okay without me. I love you, little sis.

Alec

It took all of his willpower to keep from breaking down. This was Izzy, this was his little sister, this was the person that he had watched over and taken care of since he was five. Leaving her felt a little like leaving a piece of himself behind, and Alec had to wonder how many pieces he would have left at the end of all this.

His shoulder burned for a split second, and Alec looked back just in time to see another rune disappear from his skin. He sucked in a deep breath, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He had to keep going. The curse was working faster than he was.

Alec wrote Izzy’s name on her envelope and set it to the side with Jace’s, reaching for another sheet of paper. He had to hurry.

Mom,

By the time you find this, I’ll be gone. I can’t explain everything, but please know that I am alive and safe. I can’t promise you’ll see me again, but I can promise that this is for the best and this is my decision and mine alone.

I know you won’t understand, even if you figure out the truth, but all I can say is that I love Magnus and there is nothing that I wouldn’t do for him. One day - maybe with Luke (and yes, I know) - I hope that you’ll understand.

I love you, Mom. I wish we had more time together, to fix things. As it is, I’m counting on you to do right by Jace and Izzy. I know you haven’t always seen eye to eye with them, but they’ll need you. Take care of them for me.

I’m sorry.

Alec

Alec blew out a harsh breath and folded his mom’s letter, giving it the same treatment that he’d given the others. The letters were forming a pile now, a little stack of white that made dread settle in Alec’s stomach. They were the last of him that his family would have, and that thought made him want to collapse to the floor and weep, mourn everything that he was going to lose and everything that he would miss and all of the people that he was letting down. But he knew he couldn’t. His runes were steadily disappearing and he still had work to do.

Feeling sick, Alec grabbed one final sheet of paper and prepared himself for the last letter he had to write. Magnus’s letter.

Dear Magnus,

By the time you read this, I’ll be gone. Please don’t come looking for me. You can’t interfere. Please leave it alone. I promise that I will be okay.

I can’t possibly begin to explain this to you, but I know that I have a responsibility to try. Magnus, when I saw you break down like that in the loft, it made me realise something. It made me realise how badly you were hurting and how much you were suffering without your magic. I’m so sorry that I didn’t realise before. I was so caught up in saving Jace and stopping Lilith that I never stopped to think about how much you might be hurting. I’m sorry.

I had to do something after that, and this is me doing something. I won’t explain it all to you, because I know you’ll try to come after me and undo what I did, and I can’t let you do that. I won’t let you go back to a life without your magic. It was killing you.

Magnus, you deserve so much - you deserve someone that will always make you a priority and never put you in second place. You deserve the world. You don’t deserve me. I will never be good enough for you, Magnus.

I know it’ll be hard, but please try to move on. Find love again. Get married. Have kids. Love your life like you used to before everything got so complicated. You deserve that. You deserve everything.

I love you more than words can say, and I will miss you so much. I’m sorry, Magnus. Please, please choose again. Choose somebody better. I’m not your choice. I’m sorry.

I love you.

Alec

Alec folded the letter with shaking fingers, ignoring the teardrops that splashed onto the paper. He stuffed it into an envelope and just managed to scrawl Magnus’s name on top of it and toss it onto the pile with the rest of them before he broke down in tears.

Memories rushed into Alec’s mind, unbidden - his first kiss with Magnus, at his wedding, and the way Magnus had kissed him back like he was air and Magnus couldn’t fucking breathe. His first mission with Jace, and the way that they moved together so fluently that they just knew, right from the very beginning, that they were destined to be parabatai. When Izzy was born, and Alec had slept beside her crib for three nights afterwards, whispering promises into the air about always protecting her and keeping her safe.

Alec choked on a sob and desperately tried to pull himself together. He felt the burn of his deflect rune disappearing, and that made him dig his fingernails into his palms, hard. The extra bite of pain grounded him, centered him in a way that nothing else could at the moment. That was the rune that Magnus had always loved, always said was “placed perfectly, Alexander” and always damn near worshiped in bed. Losing it was like losing a tie to Magnus, and Alec had to grip the edge of his desk so tightly that he feared his fingers might break in order to keep himself under control.

Right. He had to snap out of it. There was still more to do.

Alec glamoured himself invisible and slipped out of his office, letters in hand. He stopped by the training room to grab his bow and quiver before he made his way to Jace, Izzy, and Maryse’s rooms to slip their letters under their doors. By the time they woke up in the morning, Alec knew, he would have no idea who they were. That thought alone made him want to break down again, but he shoved his emotions aside with practiced ease and continued on.

The cool night air was a welcome change from the Institute’s stifling atmosphere, and Alec took a deep breath, trying to appreciate the sights and sounds of New York before his last rune disappeared.

By the time he made it to Magnus’s, Alec only had four runes left - his glamour, his iratze, advanced hearing, and his parabatai rune. He shivered, trying not to think about it. His parabatai rune, he knew, would be the last to go, and all Alec could do was hope that the other runes would take a few hours to disappear so that the breaking of his bond with Jace wouldn’t wake the other boy up. He at least wanted Jace to be awake, maybe have Clary with him, something. The hardest part of all of this was leaving the people he cared about behind.

“See that Mr. Bane gets this tomorrow morning,” Alec instructed the boy who worked at the front desk of Magnus’s apartment building, slipping him a 20 for good measure. With that, he walked out of Magnus’s building for possibly the last time, and headed for the park.

Alec wasn’t sure what made him choose the park, of all places, to lose the last of his runes, but the feeling of the gardens settled something in him when he sat down on the park bench. This would be the last time he sat in this park as a Shadowhunter, the last time he would look down and see the physical representation of his bond with Jace marking his skin. Finally, for the first time all night, Alec put his head in his hands and allowed himself to cry.

#my writing #shadowhunters #alec lightwood #sh 3x18 #malec breakup #malec #jace wayland #isabelle lightwood #maryse lightwood #angst #heavy angst #memory loss #multichapter #to be continued #sh #fanfiction #my fanfiction #fan fiction #ao3 #em FINALLY learns how to use the 'keep reading' thing #after how many years on Tumblr?? #oh well

[pendragonsandbuckleys]

When The Dust Settles

Summary: The fight at CrashCon had been a mess. 

Michael had found that his genius really did increase when he was pissed off and he had managed to build the fateful bomb in just over ten hours - with little thought to his own safety, to be honest, when the fate of someone else far more important had been looming over him the entire time.

But nothing had gone as planned. Or, in a way, everything had gone as planned. That is, if the plan was to make sure that everyone he loved was still alive by the end of the evening.

Word Count: 1,821

[Also on AO3]

The fight at CrashCon had been a mess.

Michael had found that his genius really did increase when he was pissed off and he had managed to build the fateful bomb in just over ten hours - with little thought to his own safety, to be honest, when the fate of someone else far more important had been looming over him the entire time.

But nothing had gone as planned. Or, in a way, everything had gone as planned. That is, if the plan was to make sure that everyone he loved was still alive by the end of the evening.

CrashCon was in full swing by the time they arrived. Hundreds of people in tin foil hats and homemade alien costumes, so unaware of what was about to unfold.

Helena had cruelly made Michael hand the bomb over to Jesse himself. Hand over his life to the one man who was so hell-bent on destroying it.

But despite being promised, he still hadn’t seen Alex yet. Hell, since Helena had handed him the specs for the device, he’d wondered if maybe he was simply clinging to some naive hope that Alex was even still alive. That the Manes men hadn’t already wiped out the flaw in their bloodline.

He had been so tempted to up and run with the bomb when he noticed Alex in the distance. Alive and whole and if Flint hadn’t have been standing far too close to him to be natural and Alex didn’t have that heartbreakingly pained expression on his face, Michael could believe that the entire kidnapping hadn’t been real.

But no, Alex was still clearly in danger so Michael wasn’t going to risk anything.

And that’s when it all went to hell.

First Jesse had the bomb. He was keeping it safe in his possession until the opportune moment which had given Michael enough time to escape his captors clutches and find Max and Isobel to warn them of what was going on.

Then from some quick thinking and a distraction from Max, Michael had ended up with the device, then the failsafe that he had secretly installed failed, then Helena had managed to grab it, then Michael lost track of it completely for a good thirty minutes, then Flint had it, then maybe Jesse again?

Then Alex.

And it was like Flint saw red. A traitor, that’s what he’d called Alex. With no sign of regret or remorse he had completely disowned his own brother when Michael had mentioned his name the day before.

And now, Flint showed no hesitation when he opened fire on the enemy.

Michael barely had a second to register what was going on when the screaming began and he was suddenly caught in the middle of the huge stampede of terrified alien fanatics rushing to safety.

There had been gunfire and smoke and explosions from a hit power transformer and it was impossible to tell who was where and who was hurt.

But it was over quickly. Police trucks and ambulances arrived in record time and soon everything was quiet again.

The injured were tended to and fairground employees returned to their rides to take stock of the damage and through the still smokey haze Max had jogged over him.

“Flint and Jesse are down, Iz has the bomb, it’s safe.” Max told him, the words sluggishly reaching his brain through the ringing in his ears, but he didn’t care about that right now.

And like Max could read his thoughts, he placed one hand on Michael’s shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “He’s over by the stage. He’s okay.”

Michael barely let out a ‘thank you’ before rushing to the wooden platform that was supposed to play host to the biggest event of the evening.

Just the sight of Alex made Michael freeze, his chest heaving with relief.

The airman was sitting on the platform, his legs hanging over the edge with his feet just grazing the grass. He was fiddling with his hands and he just looked…lost.

From a distance it seemed like he was unhurt, physically, but Michael could only imagine what was running through his mind. He had almost just been killed by his brother, not to mention the whole being held captive by his own family for almost a week.

Michael wanted to hug him, he wanted to literally cry with joy at the fact that Alex was not only alive, but actually safe now in front of him. But he also didn’t want to overwhelm him. Being casual was key if he didn’t want to spook the man who was so clearly wrapped up inside his own thoughts right now.

But it’s like his brain was trying to process so many emotions that he wasn’t sure whether to show or not, that he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“So, you still think there’s some good in everyone?” He playfully nudged Alex’s shoulder with his own as he took a seat next to him.

Alex’s withdrawn expression quickly crumbled as his eyes filled with tears. Looking to the ground with a shaky inhale.

“Oh my god, no Alex, I’m sorry, that was a really dumb joke.” He frantically tried to backtrack, turning to face Alex properly as he placed a reassuring hand on the other man’s knee.

He watched as Alex bit the inside of his cheek for a moment before letting out a self-deprecating huff of laughter.

“You’re right though.” Alex whispered, “It was stupid of me. My blind optimism, my naivety. It almost got you killed.”

“Alex…”

“If I hadn’t have been so trusting, none of this would have happened. You, Max and Isobel, you wouldn’t have nearly died.”

Up close Michael could see how exhausted he looked. The moonlight accentuated his tired eyes and pale cheeks and the fine tremors running through his body were easy to miss if you weren’t looking close enough.

Michael ducked his head to try and get Alex to look at him properly, the corners of his mouth rising slightly when those tear filled eyes met his own.

“I lied, you know.” He smiled gently, “What I said in the bunker. Your ability to see the good in everyone, even after all the hurt you’ve gone through. I’ve never stopped loving that about you.”

Alex’s lips parted as if to speak but Michael didn’t want to give him a chance to write off what he was saying.

“I didn’t say it was stupid because it’s naive. It just- It scared me, hearing you say it. Just the thought of how easily people could take advantage of you and your faith in humanity. How easily you could get hurt because of it.”

“It serves me right,” Alex shrugged, turning back to look at his hands, “What my dad and Flint did to me, it’s my own fault.”

“Hey, hey, no that’s not- you know what, can we start over? I’m really fucking happy that you’re alive.”

“You are?” Alex asked, the words coming out quiet and shaky.

Michael spluttered in surprise and was unable to hide the confusion on his face even if he wanted to. “Alex, I just made a bomb that could wipe out what’s left of my entire species, in less than half a day might I add, because there was no way in hell that I was going to let you die.”

Alex looked up once more as Michael spoke and it was clear that he’d failed in his mission to hold back his tears as they feel silently down his face. He had gotten so good at hiding his pain recently, so to see it written so raw on his features was a surprise to Michael.

The cowboy was happy to admit that he was the first to shy away from those big emotions. When things got tough, he’d smash things - create a mess or create a scene. He’d say and do things to sabotage his own happiness and the happiness of the people he cared about. But right now, for the first time in a long time, there was no urge to start an argument or walk away - but the exact opposite. It was so clear that Alex needed reassurances and Michael wasn’t going to start letting him down again now.

“And I would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you safe.”

It was like those words were the magical key to opening the floodgates because a second later a breath caught in Alex’s throat before he was racked his sobs. Michael didn’t hesitate to tenderly guide Alex’s head to his chest and held him tightly as his shoulders shook and his cries were muffled by Michael’s shirt.

He could feel the checkered flannel getting wet but he couldn’t even begin to care. He squeezed his eyes shut as he rubbed one hand up and down the length of Alex’s back, content to stay there for as long as it took for Alex to let it all out.

“They really hate me that much.” Alex hiccuped, turning his face slightly so that his words could be heard but he didn't break the contact with Michael’s chest.

“Forget them, okay? They’re not important, they don’t mean anything. They’re not your family Alex, they never have been. But we are, Liz, Maria, Isobel…me. And we’re not going anywhere.”

He could feel Alex nod slightly and for now that would have to do. He’d learnt a long time ago that he couldn’t make Alex believe anything he didn’t want to, but Michael just really hoped that his words had been convincing.

He could still feel Alex crying as he repositioned his chin on top of the other man’s head. He took a deep breath as he felt his own eyes begin to well up.

“You know the whole where’s-Alex-scavenger-hunt thing was quite therapeutic actually, I even hit your dad over the head with his own crutch.”

Alex couldn’t hold back his disbelieving chuckle and Michael’s chest warmed at the sound.

“I did that once too, with my own crutch.” Alex whispered as he clung weakly to Michael’s shirt.

“Wait, what??” Michael laughed. “You never told me this!”

He felt Alex chuckle again but the man said no more.

It was quiet between them for a moment. Alex’s shaking began to slow as Michael continued to hold him.

“You shouldn’t have built that bomb…but thank you for trying to save me.”

A thank you instead of a lecture? Michael chalked it up to the exhaustion but received it gratefully nonetheless. He’d probably get an earful from Alex tomorrow once he was more rested and could form actual unemotional, coherent thoughts, but right now Michael couldn’t ask for any more.

I’ll always save you he thought to himself as he closed his eyes once more and held Alex just a little bit tighter.

#i just really need these two to hug okay #roswell new mexico #alex manes #michael guerin #malex #alex manes fic #michael guerin fic #malex fic #my fic

[paraclete0407]

Going to give away all my story-ideas a la George Johnston’s ‘The Fire Sale’ since I feel as if Lucifer has been unleashed against me for the destruction of my flesh that I might learn not to blaspheme - 

‘The Winners 2012′ 

With the prototype of my ‘Three Kings’ ultimate self-idea-hero, the Vice Principal or Ass’t Headmaster forced to play basketball, also something about a novel about violoncello and female self-satisfaction, inner life or pseudo-inner-life and my attack on Harvard people for their emetic unending self-celebration, which turned out to be a sort of Kim Jong Il three-day massacre-banquet + they really have a huge problem with alcohol, rape, at the same time they were right IMHO to be eating blueberries and protein-goop and so on sleeping 2hrs a night.  Princeton students doing math in lucid dreams.  I too would have but in retrospect I literally methinks I deduce that my bio-parents and Waqas my Paki roommate were trying to give me heart-failure in the cause of sociohistorical justice and/or ‘family tree’ hyper-narcissism.  I was watching ‘Reply 1997′ and that song ‘Confession’ but I thought ‘I am gonna one day hang out with my friend again and drive through the NJ woods and it’ll all be alright b/c they are gonna have theirs and I am gonna have mine and in the end they will still be able to follow my lead and feel I was worthwhile.’  ‘Headmaster’s Wife’ something something Robert James Waller bidding for continued relevance after ‘Madison County’ but even in 2012 I just honestly wasn’t that fascinated with women or their hobbies at all.  I like the Korean poem that says to look at your spouse’s brow, check homework, share food.  Everyone wants a room of their own in which to produce bad art, get worse as a person, do that which others could do better.  USFK bases are like huge campuses with super-nice beds and the soldiers all appear to need like 5,000 KCAL per diem or they’ll pass out.  I had been in the habit of sleeping bolt-straight till I got here and liquified my form.  ‘Winners’ got totally out of hand where the Ass’t Headmaster started cruising around looking for anyone and everyone to talk to and never got what he was up to - never ever ever realized that he could minimize his life and walk away, that he was manager-material at Cryan’s Irish Pub or sth, that the principal really might retire one day or just let him step up, if he didn’t keep trying to ‘discharge responsiblities’ or lay the ground for some super-daughter-figure to fulfill the mission that he had been waiting to incipit; and too, he was sort of a priest to begin with and avoided his vocation for years and decades for reasons unknown.  My ex-friend from Harvard bragged about staying up for 36hrs doing something and there was President Obama saying ‘Heyyy Harvard Columbia but I also like flip-flops, chips, Occidental, jackass, fag.’  Obama had such an uneven series of statements.  I used to blow up on the radio like 1000000% affirmative action; Thomas Sowell is 10000% right that the Ivies were disillusioning and damaging generation of Blacks who couldn’t read fast enough - therefore, better to go back to K-12 / HS and try to give younger people a general preparedness so that they wouldn’t leave it to mercenary oft CCP-seduced (Vogel) and it turns out oft pedophilic prof’s (Alexander Theroux is in the habit of calling Dershowitz ‘dirt’ though I actually agree with him about a lot and hope that he is still in favor of rule of law at this bizarre hour) to form or confer their identity and bequeath their sense of mission in life... 

‘Thanksgiving Day’

Possibly my ‘most characteristic novel’ that predicted me never being understood or read with my own grain at all though it contained terrorist threats basically.  Of all Korean pop-music with its numerous melismas in a way he most ‘abject’ was Sunny’s song from ‘Story of Wine,’ ‘Finally Now’ which made me realize actually I was gonna get cut up at all the dinner-parties, all my understandings would be met with anti-understandings, everything I simplified would be complicated, whether I throw rock paper or scissor all my ex-friends from Gov School are throwing CCP massive retaliation deepfake AI bury-the-scholar-alive fireballs.  So they drove to the South Mountain Res where the homosexual pederasts are acting pedagogical and ‘adoptive’ and they are sitting there like, ‘Well soon it will be deer-hunting season + Chris Christie was saying how teachers like to make kids’ faces light up + give them indelible memories but under all his generosity of acknowledgment / crediting all the while CC was also saying / dogwhistling / inciting if not demanding or ordering, “Eat the poor,”which Obama was also arguably saying.’

I still like Sunny or did like 18 months ago - Tizzard and friends are mad at Cho Kuk; I tried to defend the governing class though this actually clashed with my own belief in people that came from dirt being best qualified as long as they don’t turn utterly prideful;  and I’m a monarchist megalomaniac b/c I thought of Kissinger saying, ‘The illegal we do immediately the unconstitutional takes a while’ which I did not eve n intend to mean ‘Milwaukee antinomianism misrule carnivalesque total inversion of values’ and IZ*ONE were ‘rigged’ (destined), ‘Sunkyu’ is a good safe name that I know of and at the end she is like, ‘He is a loser; I am going back to the party anyway; he belongs in a Cistercian monastery or somewhere; it is not wrong to have monks and nuns and celibate married couples and/or those who wat a long time after marriage to have a child...’  

‘Everything’ (Everything 2015 / Everything 2021)

Words never said, ‘I’m everything’ - therefore how can you not play my games and _ _ _.  This was such an abject apprehension(?) in my own life; I had an ideal solution to the problem and in those days I actually had no acute anxiety nor did I feel this distance(d) awe from anybody but only a low-level thrumming or basso continuou worry or ‘meditation’ (Purpose-Driven Life).  I guess now if someone isn’t asking a clear question it might be beside the point to imagine it’s worthwhile to answer and if somebody proffers you a certainty in any part of speech it is best it is best just to respond or non-respond without ay semblance of personality; deflection; without wanting to add anything or change anyone’s mind b/c in the end they who open their wings prematurely will get shot down all the more; and will also become their own worst enemies at times due to the conceits of ‘my nobility; fallen flower; I was Elect; I was anointed [sth. from ‘Sentimental Education’ abt women’s hearts]’  

When I was 15 I started thinking a lot about reality and who is real to whom; my favorite piano-piece though in retrospect I might’ve ust listened to it then moved on with better things was Frederic Chopin’s ‘Berceuse’ op. 57 a.k.a. ‘Lullaby’ though originally it was simply ‘Variations.’  Simple left hand, very testing right hand.  Michelangeli made a version in which nothing was thrown away or left to chance and a lot of pianists add a deep D-flat to the last chord which I disagreeith b/c the whole point of not using that is taht in the end it’s not a big deal.  Best is Kempff 1946 because it’s utterly affectionate, fatherly, almost forgetful.  I had once regarded this version or ‘rendering’ as being Kempff’s message to post-Nazi Germany saying, ‘Dream a new dream for a while.’  His left hand is spelling and his right hand is tracing.  I used to make up words for this piece ‘I’m real God can’t you see / to break your shield’ but that was with a different count or tempo than the actual notation.  Also, the version I heard first was Idil Biret or someone and they made the left hand cycle or reciprocate with a false completeness like an underlying clock when the essence of the ‘Berceuse’ is that the inner voices form a tolling or droning.  I years later turned to the even more violent psychopathic Chopin that gave me hand-tremors and I think it is very bad for humans of which the apex was the last page or so of Nocturne 55-2 which is basically heart-explosion into embers.  After going to KR I never wanted to touch a piano again except for anything related to Kempff and would walk around Lake Park, Wahl Street, considering Russia, simplicity, ‘c/Chimes.’  Didn’t then realize George Frost Kennan grew up around there and was considering Russia his whole life.  I saw ‘Cat Street’ and was put in mind of a Singaporean market or square where they let songbirds talk to each other but it’s ancient history now.  Maybe in future no one will care about cats, birds - I don’t really except I grew up in white trash degenerate Mass. where they burned frogs for fun (I was like 3) and put skull-flag all over their rooms.  I oppose Mao sparrow-genocide, am fond of dandelions and the Ku Sang poem about dandelions from ‘Infant Splendor.’  However my generation and the people of that time were arguably over-equipped and in one way over-covered in another under-covered.  

Voice in my head saying ‘They want Maoism man.’  But I really did believe in those days that others’ futures were like my own past and I perhaps overestiated my own chance of any future understanding, ‘trust-ness,’ and, either stable interiority or cognizable reliable plain-as-day face-to-face exteriority.  

I also read Somerset Maugham’s critiques of ‘the Russian sense of humor’ which I approved of and my mom recently dreamed of the cat running out with his tail burnt.

There are perhaps only so many possible variations or stories and ‘today’s character’ is a real human being in the present moment and placement not just your favorite actress or whatever or whomever that would follow you to the ends of the Earth.  I have almost no idea right now whether others want what I want or not; I had fantasized about writing speeches and always taking my family with me on the campaign-airplane which in retrospect is not perforce responsible and might’ve been mental Bidenism.  I had only felt that it would or could be good for people in the future / future Man to be aware of one another’s burdens like let your son or daughter know when you’re working really hard instead of playing / representing Santa Dad when you’re really storing up UncleHammer and CrushFather vengeance, whether motivated by presumption and reactionary atavism or by the Will of God in the case of Mr. David James Johnston must be pulverized in to ‘coulisse bright dark tragic chiaroscuro’...In ‘Coming Home Again’ Changrae Lee’s mom was telling him how hard his psychiatric dad worked in graduate school and that is something I believe kids should know but there again what if immgrant young people really do grow up or ‘come up’ with this ‘Minima Moralia’ (Adorno cf. Vatican Censoriate) sense that ‘wrong life cannot be rightly lived,’ a horrific desolate phrase, that existence is a ‘battle life’ and that evth we do right today is a down-payment on wrong tomorrow. 

In the ‘diaspora(?)’ of Evangelical Christianity following the passing away of a very famous and beautifully simply and consistent apologist Ravi Zacharias there was a cataclysmic revelation concerning his treatment of masseuses, first in terms of sexual harrassment and later unless it is all ‘fake news’ the discovery of a trove of actual records of abuse.  I‘m Reddit ButBothSides relativism but it really almost feels as if there had been the mentality of a ‘treasury of merit’ but I don’t even want to say anything like that.  Strange keepsakes!  I feel as though ‘everybody deserves to know’ I am pretty certain I could be indicted for sexual harrassment in the Republic of Korea from a specific instant I recall very vividly + it might be good to do so in view of the current society’s determination to stop driving women toward suicide but IDK whether I ough to say that to anyone in Milwaukee b/c around here they’re racists and polyamorists and it’s more CCP paleo-peudo-Confucian mistress-culture where my dad is checking out my girlfriends and orgy and procurement are considered acts of unconditional love(?).  Many years ago I looked at the Joongang Daily and say a ‘diptych’ of ‘T-ARA to release new song in November’ and ‘Uhm Taewoong arraigned for solicitation in [’my last stop’]’ + I adored TIAMO but it made me sad that the yougest member of this group was posing ith little girls all carring playing cards b/c it was lke a Chaim Potok novel that said mutatis mutandis ‘child-rearing is all gambling’ which goes against my sense of what is possible and even practical with a proper chain of care and ‘absolute ownership.’  And there I had been eager to join in the American Families Plan but then it really is still public schools where (Chesterton),  ‘ The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.’  Professionalism, fair compensation, training, re-training, good data, involving parents.  I am just sad b/c I realized I don’t really get how good or bad the SoE’s are anymore but the costs of Chromebooks and such are immense and I’m almost 100% certain the kids still have noisy homes, no good desks, + many of the staff are single moms nursing etc. + teacher-tenure and ‘middle class wages’ IMHO have been drawing mercenary self-righteous ideologue-automoton mental Boomers for decades and they still don’t get it but I’m super-sad b/c I just have no way I know of finding out!

I like talking to psychiatrists b/c they get stuff about autism as well as in some cases literal demons and matters such as handwriting, Arabic script going ‘backwards,’ but in the end they too appear committed to doing whatever the current overlord(s) of the world order are going to do.  At the mental hospital they’re writing stuff like ‘schiz- ____’ nd saying ‘sign I’ll date’ and when I say ‘that’s an official document’ the union pozzers around here are like ‘it’s my document’ like Hell it is.  You’re on strike against truth and morality and that’s no joke!  You better give me heart-failure tonight or I will eventually bring a suit against your ‘whole host’ but that itself is beside the point because of Delta and drones and the fact that this is a revelating(?) era and a literal Judgment of God, which I had been hoping to weather and eventually execute my long-incubating intention but I truly am concerned what could present roll over and through this city.

This spectre or menace of a saturating, superceding, overriding ‘raison d’etat’ in the earthly world order soon to come and everything going to be unsealed anyway so that your private life is really just ‘a paper heart merit-badge that says “private life” on it’ and in future even a confirmation of something or someone is not really a confirmation.  Puts in mind of the MLG song ‘Kiss Me’ about ego and commitment and the valences and intersections(?) of different potential promises or forecasts.  My old friend Miles used to write about kissing a lot and I had reflections about kissing and such matters but IDK now if he’s a cultural Maoist advocating to defund the LAPD or he just ‘keeps his virtue to himself’ and feeds trash the ‘Arab Street’ about not protecting weak people from criminals.

[isadcrajade]

💀 * [ barbie ferreira + cis female + she/her ] —— have you met isadora oliveira ? they are a twenty-one year old sophomore currently studying fashion design & merchandising. they live on keating house, and word around campus is that this aries is loyal + warm, as well as self-objectifying + obsequious. i wonder if they’ll make it out alive. chocolate covered strawberries, gothic platforms, lingerie under leather jackets.

hiii bbies it’s me (gabby) finally here again to post this finalized, messy version of isa’s intro! she’s a brand new never-been-played muse of mine so it’s def bound to be a bit more scattered & less developed than ezra’s, but also much shorter? so i mean there’s a bonus lmao alright here we go:

so isadora (also known by many nicknames such as isa, izzy, iz, & dora the explora if ur trying to piss her off vgbjhksjs) was definitely not brought up in a world of prestige and recognition like the one she’s become so accustomed to in attending holloway university

growing up in the small town of lisbon, maine the only reality isa knew during her childhood was that of living as the only child of a woman who was (TW) both a compulsive liar & and compulsive hoarder. their house was floor to ceiling with things her mom collected as well as garbage built up over time- her condition had already driven isa’s father out of the house when she was just three years old, and she never had a relationship with him as a result

she was still fairly young when she realized the true severity of her own situation, just how abnormal it was compared to that of her friends. she missed out on so many rights of passage during her upbringing like birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. for much of her life her own living space / bedroom were just as bad off as the rest of the house, given her mom’s inability to keep from passing her hoarding tendencies onto her daughter. isa simply didn’t know any better at the time. to her, that was normal.

not only was her mom a compulsive liar & hoarder but she was also extremely neglectful, often leaving isa to her own devices in the dangerous environment they called home. as a result of this she (TW ED) developed harmful coping mechanisms surrounding food, regularly overeating to combat negative feelings of loneliness, and this went on from the time she was just a little girl all the way until she was in high school

high school was rough in many ways- she suffered depression, anxiety, experienced bullying at the hands of the more popular kids for her weight & her mother’s financial situation, and was all around extremely isolated from her peers- the only person she really had to depend on was her cousin (WC) . she had so much respect and envy for her cousin, they had more of a sisterly dynamic than anything, she was just so gorgeous and everything she did just seemed so effortless, to the point isa couldn’t help but idolize her and consider her a best friend. 

like, remember when spongebob said he hoped that by being in squidward’s presence some of his artistic ability would rub off onto him? that was deadass isa & (WC) in high school jhbksnjs my girl was so sure if she just spent enough time with her she’d inherit some of her pretty & cool

high school was also where she reached a turning point when it came to her home environment, able to put a name to her mom’s condition after years of struggling with her strained and toxic relationship with her mom, and ultimately changed the rest of her life. she stayed the night at (WC’s) one night and after she fell asleep, isa stayed up watching TLC- it was there that she first discovered the TV show ‘hoarding: buried alive’ and realized there was a name for her mother’s infliction- but more importantly, learned that there was help available for her condition

when she went home to excitedly tell her mother that she’d basically discovered a cure, a means to change everything for them... she certainly hadn’t been expecting the reaction that came: her mom, who’d always been so indifferent toward her, so lethargic and uninterested in what she had to say, was suddenly listening very clearly- and she was not happy. isa had never heard her mom scream like that, had never really heard her express any heightened emotion, but it was in that moment at 17 years old, just a few weeks away from her 18th birthday, that she realized what she needed to do. she had no choice but to make plans to leave her mom behind.

the final weeks leading up to the big day she was counting on as a turning point consisted of her cleaning out her own space, little by little, enough that she had somewhere to set up her secondhand laptop and webcam. blowing out the candles on her 18th birthday cake came with wishing for a whole new life, and she was determined to make that for herself by any means necessary.

(TW SEX WORK) isa spent half her 18th year in her room working as a successful camgirl, showing everything but her face, & of course always being careful not to dox herself. she eventually earned enough money to start buying herself nicer clothes, but it didn’t take her long to realize she wanted more from life than just rotting away in her hometown. she bought herself a higher quality webcam to keep making money... and a nice sewing machine, something she’d always dreamed of owning. 

all her life she’d been drawing and sketching as a means of escapism, it’d always been therapeutic to her to be creative and conjure up unique designs for outfits in her mind, drawing models in all shapes and sizes to represent her fantasy outfits. but she never felt like a visionary, even though anyone with an eye for fashion who got a look at her work could see that she had the natural talent and potential to be. 

isa had been an a straight-A student her whole life despite having almost no support at home from her mother growing up, and with plenty of encouragement from (cousin WC), she plucked up the courage and applied for holloway university, with ivory falls being far enough from her hometown of lisbon, but still in the same state so that she could go and see her mother from time to time (bc although their relationship is quite strained now, she still loves and worries about her)

the next summer she received her acceptance letter at holloway u for the coming fall semester, and the fact that she’d been able to make it into such a prestigious school made her feel so proud of herself that she completely underwent a massive arc of character development; evolving into someone so much more confident. realizing that plenty of people found her desirable as she continued to earn money through cam shows had been part of that transformation, but realizing she was talented enough to get accepted into the fashion design and merchandising program at her dream school had a completely different effect on her. 

( TW BODY IMAGE ISSUES ) isa decided that as she entered college, she was no longer going to be the meek, insecure girl constantly playing the role of the doting, loyal fat best friend to the ‘prettier main characters’ she’d always been sidekick to- she told herself that she was the main fucking character in her life from here on, and has spent her entire college experience up to this point just,, navigating as she figures out what that really means to her

still has a terrible underlying tendency to be overly-loyal and a bit obsessive with girls she closely befriends, if she has any kind of jealousy towards them. but ! is a lot more confident than she used to be, and it shows in the way she dresses and carries herself, as well as in her long-term goals (to transfer to FIDM for her final years of university)

( TW ED MENTION ) as a young adult, she’s mostly she’s replaced the compulsion to deal with her body image issues by using food to cope that she had as a teenager... by using sex to cope instead, so she’s definitely a bit promiscuous but does her best to keep that Her Own business 

personality-wise she has a massive heart & is loyal to a fault but is also wild AF & loves a good time! never rly dabbled in drugs until she got to college but since then has acquired an interest in trying everything under the sun, even if it’s just one and done. mostly though she just likes to get really drunk & stupid. used to feel like she was constantly living in her cousin’s shadow, & in some ways she still does, but she’s trying hard to make herself believe that she’s reached a place where she won’t be playing second fiddle to anyone, ever again

i’m gonna shut the hell up now & stop pretending i know this character better than i do bc i deadass do not jbhnjss like she’s literally brand new so lemme go head & leave plenty of room for development!

same story as ezra i’ll have a full connections page posted for her soon but in the meantime some ideas i have are: friends, frienemies, ex friends, high school bullies, classmates, old high school friends, people she gets fuckt up with on the reg, people she hooks up with on the reg (any gender, she’s bisexual / biromantic), someone she had a crush on in high school / has pined for from afar maybe?? someone who used to watch her cam shows?? someone she almost kinda dated but Not? someone who she hooked up with while they were dating someone else?? idk that’s what i have for now but there’ll be more where that came from <3 xoxo like this or hmu !

#holloway.intro #this is a hot ass mess #but i'm rly excited to finally play her x

[lilacyennefer]

Finally, beautiful stranger chapter 2

“Used to think that loving meant a painful chase, but you're right here now and I think you'll stay” 

A/N: Here it is! This chapter is longer than the previous one. Also, a bit of explaining: the story takes place 2 years after Will's fianceé leave him but before the events of the movie. The SoA part is not canon, Isabelle is two years younger than Jax, and he's living together with Tara happily and they don't have any babies yet. I hope you like this and feedbacks are greatly appreciated! 

TW: sexual references, mention of character's death, language

You’re sitting at your table on Monday morning, it’s still really early but you have a lot of work to do. The weekend went by quickly, on Saturday morning you called both Kate and Natalie if they were okay and making sure they both got home safe. They assured you that everything was okay and you’ll see each other at work. You didn’t leave the house all weekend, couldn’t shake that sad feeling of not getting Will’s number. You really liked him, not just his look, sure, he was handsome, but you also liked his personality (as much as you could see from it) and the energy he radiates. You have to get over this, You have work to do and probably won’t see this man ever again. Your boss won’t arrive until a few more hours, but some of your colleagues are already arriving. You take a sip from your coffee and start focusing on your work.

“Boo!” You feel two hands wrap around you.

“Fuck!” You turn around quickly and see Kate laughing at you. “You scared me!” she keeps laughing.

“Sorry, I couldn’t miss this.” she sits down on the corner of your table. “What’s up?” 

You let out a sigh. “Nothing” you reply as you lean back in your chair “How was your weekend?”

Kate has a big smile on her face as she replies “Well you know, it will be a bit hurtful to sit down today” she winks at you and you playfully roll your eyes at her reply. “Anyway, how was yours?”

You shrug “It was okay” she gives you a look that makes you sure that she won’t just leave this.

“Why, what happened? What even happened after I left?”

“Well you know, Natalie and Benny boy went home together.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What happened between you and that blondie? You two seemed to have good chemistry.”

“Yeah well, I fucked it up. I forgot to ask for Will’s number, that’s his name by the way, and he didn’t ask mine either. I don’t know if it was on purpose or he forgot it, but that’s it.”

“Oh man, I’m sorry” she gives me a small smile.

“It’s okay.” You shrug again. You look behind Kate and see Natalie approaching the two of you with a big smile on her face. 

“Hi girls!!” she greets us cheerfully.

“Someone looks happy.” Kate comments.

“Yeah well” she smiles “I had a good weekend.” 

“We can imagine.” You say smirking. “You too will have difficulties sitting down today?”

“What?” Nat asks me laughing.

“Iz and I were talking about how it’s difficult for me to sit down after my weekend activities.” Kate says proudly.

“Well, I can relate to that.” Natalie laughs. You just snort at her response and try to focus on work when you hear Natalie ask you about your weekend. You told her the same thing you told Kate and she offers you an encouraging smile. They leave shortly and sit down at their desks. Time flies quickly, at lunch break Natalie joins you at my table, Kate had work to do outside the office. 

“So,” she starts “I talked to Benny earlier. Remember that he’s an amateur MMA fighter?” you nod your hand as you take a bite from your lunch “he has a match on Thursday. Will is his trainer, you should come along, so you can see him again.”

“I don’t want to tag along while the two of you are making out in the locker room or something”

“His brother will be there too, Iz. Besides, don't you want an answer if he likes you or not?” Of course you do. But it’s not that simple. What if he doesn’t like you? 

“Well yeah, I do.” You say unsurely.

“But?”

You sigh “ What if he doesn’t like me the way I like him? What if he was just polite to me, because we were forced to be in the same group?”

“Isabelle, honey, I love you, but you have to stop overthinking.” She’s right. You overthink every single thing in life that causes you more trouble than anything else. 

“You’re right.” you agree with her.

“So this means you’re coming?” she asks happily.

“ONLY if it’s okay with Ben too.” You wave a finger at her.

“Yeah, yeah” Natalie answers with an eye roll. 

The rest of the week goes by quickly, and it’s Thursday night faster than you realised. You stand in your apartment in a towel, trying to decide what to wear. What do people wear to an MMA match??? Is it similar to the night the motorcycle club had back at home? With all the drunk people yelling, throwing drinks, organising random fights, and making bets who would win? You kinda miss those. You miss the people more than those wild nights. You miss your brother, and your mother of course, and all these people you grew up with. It was a hard decision to leave, it took an awful lot of convincing so your mother would let you go. You had to leave. You couldn’t handle the violence, being in danger all the time,  the uncertainty of whether your brother, and all of the other members of the MC who you looked at as a family, will be alive tomorrow morning when you wake up, or if they’ll be dead somewhere. Being away from this doesn't take all of this away, but the feeling of not being in danger all the time, because of the club’s enemies, helps a lot. Of course you still worry about your people, you always will, but you wanted to have your own life and make it at least a little bit safe. The uncertainty, the violence, it's all part of being born outlaw. All of you are outlaws. You always have been and always will be. You love your family, and your father’s club. It was his life and his legacy. Your brother one day will inherit all of this. He doesn’t mind, all he wanted since he was a child is to be the part of the club and a Harley. He has all of this now, he’s happy with his life. You needed his help to leave Charming, to convince your mother to let you leave. He wasn’t happy about it either, you two are incredibly close. After the death of your little brother, you and your older brother seemed to get closer, and after your father’s accident, the two of you were inseparable. You didn’t know where you wanted to go or what you would do. You did know that you wanted to stay close to your hometown so you could visit your family anytime you wanted, and you also know that the city where you would move needs to be safe, possibly without an MC. Sacramento seemed to be fine, it was a lot bigger than the small town you grew up in, you could just disappear in the crowd and the people didn’t know who you were. In Charming everyone did, after all, your dad was a legend, and everyone knew who the Sons of Anarchy were. This just got even worse after your father’s death, you couldn’t stand the look in the people’s eyes, everywhere you went people gave you this look. It made you angry, you didn’t need their pity, you didn’t need their reminder that your father who you loved so much and were really close to, is no longer with you. You were 14 when it happened, Jax was 16, and it destroyed the two of you. You couldn’t stand the fact that your father will never see you become a woman, never walk you to the altar, and never will hold your first born. You shake yourself, trying to stop these negative, sad thoughts, as you choose the clothes for the night. After like an hour you’re ready to go, wearing a simple t-shirt, jeans and a vans. You grab your bag and a jacket, and head towards the cab, what you called earlier, is waiting outside your apartment building; you give the driver the address what Natalie texted you while the two of you were still at work. You’re nervous, you don’t know how Will will react, and you don’t know if Natalie actually told them that you’re coming. You rub your palms on your jeans, trying to get rid of the damp feeling that the nervousness caused. You’re almost there, your heart is racing, and you take deep breaths to calm yourself down. Relax, you tell yourself, you have nothing to worry about. You remember the chemistry between you and Will, what Kate mentioned earlier. You know you felt something when you were with Will, what you never felt before, but again you can’t tell if he feels the same, or even looks at you in that way. Kate is sure about that he does, and Natalie assured you that she saw the way he looked at you. You snap out of your thoughts as the driver tells you that you arrived. You pay the driver and get out of the cab, walking towards the entrance. The parking lot is already filled with drunken people, you enter the place where the match is held. It’s hot, and it’s filled with people. You navigate yourself through the crowd trying to find Natalie. You finally find her, she’s standing close to the ring and the left side of it, she wears a simple tank top and jeans. She looks gorgeous, but she always does. She spots you too and waves her hand, you quicken your steps to get close to her. 

“Hey sweetie” she greets you.

“Hi gorgeous” I reply to her. She holds a beer in her hand and has a big smile on her face. “So, where are they?” I ask her.

“Locker room, getting ready for the fight.” she takes a sip from her beer “the match should start soon though.” I nod in reply.

“Don’t you want one?” she holds her beer towards me. I shake my head and mouth a “no”. We stand there in silence for a few minutes until the match starts. You suddenly feel excitement running through you, and realise that it does look really similar to the fight nights at home. You hear the presenter say the opponent’s name and see him walk into the ring. The crowd cheers loudly, and a few minutes later you hear Ben’s name announced. You turn to look back at the entrance where Ben is coming in, Will behind him hyping up the crowd for Benny. They pass by you and Natalie, Ben gives her a smile and a wink, and he nods his face toward you, you smile back at him. You nervously look at Will, you can’t read his expression and that worries you. You have a bad feeling that he’s not happy to see you there and suddenly you really regret agreeing with Nat’s plan. The match starts and you try to focus on it and not on Will, you don’t even look at him, he’s busy anyway trying to guide Ben through the fight. After a bit you seemed to ease up and lose yourself in the fight, you’re yelling and cheering whenever Ben is doing good, and Natalie does the same next to you looking incredibly proud of him. The match ends with Benny winning, both him and Will look incredibly proud. Will comes up to the two of you and tells you to meet outside the locker room. He still didn’t look at you and you suddenly feel really nervous again. You swallow, trying to calm yourself. You start to regret not drinking a beer earlier, at least it would have calmed you down a bit. Natalie and you walk toward the locker rooms in silence, she’s in her little happy bubble because of Ben and you don’t want to ruin that with your worries. You stop in front of the door where Ben’s supposed to change and you feel even more nervous now. There’s no crowd here so it means it’s only the two of you now, and after Benny comes out it will be only you and Will, since the love birds will be all over each other. You lean towards the wall quietly, none of you say a word. After a few minutes the door opens, Will steps outside, “He wants you in there.” he says to Natalie. She smiles and walks in while Will holds the door for her. You’re nervously playing with your fingers, looking at the floor, not sure what to say.

“Congratulations on winning the fight.” you finally say after a while. He smiles a bit and nods his head in thank you. He leans towards the wall in front of you, arms crossed over his chest, he’s chewing a gum.

“What are you doing here, Isabelle?” he asks me coldly. You look up to him from the floor where you rested your eyes since you congratulated him. His question took you by surprise, and not gonna lie  it hurt you.

“I came to see Benny.” you see him nod. “Is that a problem for you?” you ask him. His question made you upset and this made all of the nervousness disappear. 

“No.” he looks surprised.

“Are you sure? Because you look like you hate me for being here.”

“It’s not true.” he says defensively.

“Right.” I mutter. You stand with him in awkward silence, not the one you seemed to be so fond of when you first met with him. 10 minutes passes in this awkward silence until you finally see Natalie and Benny walking out of the locker room, you don’t know what they were doing inside but you honestly don’t even want to. She looks at you and when she sees your upset expression her smile quickly disappears from her face and it’s replaced with a confused look. You shake your head, silently telling her to not ask what happened, or at least not here.

“So, who wants to grab something to eat?” you hear Ben ask. Natalie agrees immediately, you shift your weight from one leg to another, you really don’t want to go, especially not after what happened with Will.

“I’m sorry Benny but I’ll pass this, but congrats on your win, you were amazing tonight.” you tell him honestly and give him a smile. He turns towards you and you can see Will’s eyes on you.

“No, c’mon Izzy, you have to come with us. My brother needs your company while I make out with my girl.” you smile at him, but you can’t help but feel sad about what he said about you and Will.

“I doubt that’s true.” you say with a sad smile. 

“Ben” Will suddenly says “Why don’t you and Natalie go ahead and wait in the parking lot while Isabelle and me talk a little?” you’re surprised at this, Ben looks at you and nods. Natalie also looks at you with a worried and confused expression, but you assure her with a nod that everything will be okay and she can go. The couple leave and Will and you are alone again.

“Isabelle” he starts “I seriously meant that I don’t mind you being here.” he seems sincere but you’re still hurt and upset about what happened earlier.

“Then why are you like this?” 

“Like what?” he asks confused.

“You’re cold and rude. I know we don’t know each other well, or for a long time, but when you asked me what I’m doing here, it was rude. It wasn’t the question itself but your tone.” you explain to him. 

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.” he says sincerely.

“Why, Will?” you ask him “Why did you do it? You were so nice when we met and now you’re being rude and ignoring me. Did I do something?” you can’t help but feel angry now and helpless about the whole situation, you just want answers. Will is quiet for a few minutes, you see him struggling to find his words, the right thing to say.

“Because I like you.” he says so quietly you think you imagined it. 

“What?” you ask him.

“Because I like you.” he repeats louder this time. You don’t believe what he just said. 

“Then why were you like this?” you ask him. You feel like this whole thing doesn't make sense.

“I...I umm…” you can see him struggling with what he wants to say “let’s just say that it’s hard for me to get close to anyone since my last relationship.” Shit. Now you feel bad for pushing this whole thing.

“I’m sorry.” you say honestly to him, you really do sorry and this kinda explains his behaviour. You too know what it’s like to be in a shitty relationship or go through a bad breakup and distance yourself from everyone. You understand him, you really do. 

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have hurt you, because of something what happened in the past. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I hope you can forgive me.” he looks at you with those gorgeous blue eyes, and you see his vulnerability in it and you can tell that he truly does feel sorry. You give him a honest smile and tell him that it’s okay, but if next time something is wrong, you’d appreciate him being honest. He nods in agreement and gives you a little smile and the two of you start walking towards the parking lot. You agree to go and eat something with the group, but you insist on not staying long because tomorrow you start early at the office again. You actually ended up having fun, Benny is a real class clown with a heart of gold. He really is a sweet boy who seems to make your friend really happy, and this makes you smile. Will and you talked a lot, mostly small talks and shared some stories, but the two of you still don’t know much about each other, but you sure that you like each other. He seems more at ease after your conversation and that relaxed you too. You still don’t know what exactly happened with Will what made him this distant from people, because he only seems to have a close connection with his younger brother, but again you can relate to this. You don’t have any close friends either, sure Kate and Natalie are close to you, but you can’t talk to them about certain things, like about your life back home or what’s happening with your brother at the moment. After the dinner Will offers you a ride home what you accept. You get in the car with him and tell him the address of your apartment building. You spend the ride with him in silence, you don’t mind, because this silence is that comfortable silence you like about Will. He parks his car in front of the building and you’re a bit disappointed that the night ended already. You feel his eyes on you, you look at him and see that he has a small smile on his face, you can’t help but smile back at him.

“Can I ask you out on a date?” he asks suddenly. This takes you by surprise. 

“With one condition.” you start playfully. He nods.

“What is that?” he asks curiously.

“No restaurant dates. I don’t really like restaurant dates, especially not on first dates.” he gives you an expression and his smile grows bigger and he licks his lips before he answers.

“Iz, we were at the restaurant like 40 minutes ago.”

“Yes but that was different!” you can’t help but smile at him.

“Why is that?” 

“Because those weren't dates.” you point it out. 

“Good point.” he nods his head, that small smile is still on his face. You like this, that little smirk he gives you, it makes him look really handsome. “So what would you like to do?” Oh. That’s a good question. You want to go somewhere where the two of you can talk freely, possibly without people around you. You want to get to know him and you feel like being around people makes him a bit uneasy and you don’t want that for him.

“What about going hiking?” he looks really surprised about your idea.

“You want to go hiking on our first date?” he asks in disbelief.

“Well, yeah. It gives us a great opportunity to really get to know each other, there won’t be many people around and we can talk freely. Plus nature is beautiful.” you tell him.

“This kinda sounds like you want to murder me.” he says jokingly. You let out a laugh at this idea, his smile grows even bigger and he laughs a little too.

“I swear I don’t have any bad intentions, I just noticed that you seem tense in crowds. I don’t want that for our first date.” you tell him honestly. You see an expression on his face, you don’t know what it was because it disappears so quickly you had no time to analyse it. 

“That’s really thoughtful of you.” he says quietly. You just nod and give him a small smile. You agreed on the day and time of the date, it will be on this saturday in the afternoon. Will said he knows a good hiking place, but it will take awhile to get there with a car so he’ll pick you up to take you there. You’re really excited at the idea of going on a date with him. The two of you say your goodbyes for the night, and you slept better tonight than in the last couple of days.

#Charlie Hunnam #charlie hunnam fanfiction #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfic #Will Miller #Will Miller fanfiction #Will Miller x reader #William Miller #William Miller fanfiction #William Miller x reader #garrett hedlund #garrett hedlund fanfiction #ben miller

[el-gilliath]

A Not So Easy Choice

Welcome to the kidnapping fic I’ve been teasing. Thank you to @winged-fool and @bestillmyslashyheart for holding my hand, reading and looking this over, as well as telling me no, you are not allowed to kill any more people.

Part 2 Ao3

WARNING: Implied minor character death (Mimi)

He feels everything in him go cold when he gets the texts. Opening them and seeing pictures of Mimi and Alex, bound with the words If you could only save one, who would you choose? Decide quickly, you only have two hours.

He knows instinctively who’s behind it, there’s only one person who would willingly use a woman like Mimi and his own son to try and get to him. He also knows without a shadow of a doubt that Jesse is one hundred percent sure Michael is going to come to the rescue.

A petty part of him doesn’t want to prove him right. But there’s no way he can leave them in Jesse’s clutches. But if he can only save one of them… How does he choose between his girlfriend's mother and the man he’s loved since he was 17. It’s an impossible choice, which means he needs help. He needs Isobel.

He throws himself into his truck and drives to Izzy’s house. She still lives in the house she owned with Noah, since ‘it’s a perfectly good house’. He doesn’t understand how she can handle it, but then again he never understood Isobel’s overbearing stubbornness. But it has saved her thus far, so he will continue to not say anything. But the day she’s ready to move he’ll be there.

But until then he has other things to think about. Like the fact that Jesse is a torturous madman. The drive from Sander’s to Isobel’s normally takes him 20 minutes. He manages it in 10.

He launches himself out of the car as soon as he’s stopped, making sure the doors are closed with his telekinesis as he runs into the house.

“Isobel! Isobel!”

“Why are you shouting, Michael?” She’s her usual haughty self as she comes into the hall from the living room, looking perfectly put together the way she always does.

“Jesse Manes has Mimi and-”

“Slow down, Michael. What do you mean Jesse Manes has Mimi?”

“I got a text. It has a picture of Mimi tied to a chair but it’s not… It’s not just Mimi.”

Isobel gives him a look he recognizes instantly. She’s given him the look many times over the year he’s been dating Maria. It’s a look she started giving him after the first time she watched him interact with Alex. After the first time she felt what he himself feels every time Alex is around. She doesn’t need to hear his name to know who else Jesse has, she can probably feel it through their bond.

“He told me I can only save one of them. And I only have two hours to decide.”

“How do you know he’s telling the truth?”

“It’s Jesse Manes,” he replies. “There’s no reason to doubt it. And as I said. Pictures.”

“Show me.”

He does, handing his phone over. He watches as Isobel looks at the text, scrolling through the pictures. He feels the deep sigh she releases as she hands back his phone in his gut.

“You need to tell Maria.”

“How the fuck do I tell her, Iz?”

“You just do.”

He doesn’t want to, but he knows Izzy is right. He also knows Maria is at the Pony, doing paperwork. He doesn’t want to tell her, but he knows that he has to.

“Okay. I guess we’re going now.”

-----

He gets another text on route. Who’s it gonna be, alien? The mother or the ex? 60 minutes left with another picture of the two tied to chairs.

He grits his teeth, inhaling and exhaling sharply as he tries to calm down. He’s mad, worried, shaking. Why is it always him?

Isobel takes the phone from his hand, replacing it with her own hand and holding him tightly. She knows exactly what he needs, his sister, she always does. And with Max still being dead… It’s just the two of them. Even if they are coming closer to the answer to that riddle.

“It’ll be fine, Michael, she’ll understand.”

“Understand what, Iz?” he asks.

“That you have to save Alex.”

He very much doubts that Maria will understand that, her mother is her whole world. And Alex. Alex is more competent than Mimi is, especially now with her confused state of mind. He doesn’t know what he’s gonna do if Maria wants him to save her mother instead of Alex. He doesn’t want to think about it.

But it doesn’t matter, he thinks to himself as he parks in front of the Pony and gets out of the truck. He’ll decide soon.

He strides inside the Pony, opening the door telekinetically as he nears it. He knows Maria doesn’t mind now that she knows about his powers.

“Maria?” he asks loudly just in case, he doesn’t want to scare her atop the shitty news he comes bearing.

“Inventory!” She yells back. He still hesitates in walking forward, hesitates enough that Isobel takes his hand and gives him another reassuring squeeze, their connection radiating with calmness. He squeezes back quickly in thanks before he gathers his everything and walks forward.

Maria is exactly where she said, behind the bar doing inventory. She grins widely, putting down her clipboard and getting out from the bar to greet him. She stops when she sees Isobel, their relations might be better but they’re not even close to friends yet, before visibly steeling herself and continuing to give him a kiss. He turns away slightly, so her kiss lands on his cheek and not on his mouth. He just can’t, right now.

“Hey,” Maria asks, brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t want to tell her. He doesn’t want to see her face. He doesn’t want to-

“Jesse Manes has your mom.” He blurts it out, no softening, no censoring. Just blurts it out.

“What do you mean Jesse has Mom?” her voice is hard now, the furrowing of her brow deepening.

“I mean he has her hostage. And he’s giving me 45 minutes to decide-”

“Decide? Decide what, to save her? To go get her?”

He looks over at Isobel, just a glance to ask for help but Maria moves her head so he can’t really focus on her. He still sees Isobel mouth ‘Tell her’.

“Michael, wh- why are you even here if Jesse has Mom!” Maria’s voice is rising, panic setting in as she picks up on the fact that he’s completely serious. “If this is true you have to go!”

“It’s true, I have proof,” he says, and tries to show her the pictures. But Maria shuts her eyes, turns away and hides her face. He gives Isobel a helpless look, but Isobel just sucks her teeth before mouthing ‘Tell her’ again. Her face is a harder mask now, her annoyance not showing but still felt by Michael.

“I don’t want to see, I can’t see her like that! She’s already so vulnerable, I just can’t!”

“Okay, I won’t show you but Maria, I have to tell you-”

“No!” Her voice is pitching into screams now. “Just go and get my mom! She doesn’t deserve this!”

He wishes he could close his eyes and not be in this situation, not be in this predicament, not be in this place.

He doesn’t know how to choose, doesn’t know if he can. How do people make choices, like these, and live with them.

“Michael, you have to go save my mom!” Maria screams at him. “Please!”

But it’s not that simple. She doesn’t know that Jesse has another hostage. He doesn’t want to know what she would ask of him if she knew that Alex is also in his father's hand. Considering she knows one hell of a lot of what happened in the Manes household when he grew up.

He knows he should save Mimi, save his girlfriend’s mother. After all, Alex is an Air Force Captain, he’s gotten himself out of worse jams than this and Michael knows he’s probably capable of whatever he needs to do to get himself out.

But the thought of leaving him. Of letting him feel alone and abandoned. It reminds him too much of how he felt when Alex had to leave. So how can he leave him when he had the chance not to.

“What are you waiting for, Michael?! My mom needs you!”

Maria is getting decidedly more frustrated, the anger and fear in her voice clear as she yells. She doesn’t understand, he gets that. He might not have a mom anymore but he gets it.

“It’s not that-“

“If you try to tell me it’s not that simple I’m gonna hit you. My mom is in the hands of Jesse fucking Manes, the reason she’s like this, and you’re hesitating when you can go save her!” she seethes. “I know how he treated Alex growing up, I can’t let her stay in his clutches! It’s my mom, Michael!”

He shares another look with Isobel as Maria mentions Alex. Their relationship is not the best since he started dating Maria, though thankfully he and Maria managed to spare their friendship even if his spiral tried to fuck with that too. But Alex will always come if anyone needs him. And he knows, intimately, just how good Alex is at getting himself out of tricky situations. But leaving him with Jesse when he has no idea if Jesse would keep him alive or not, it shakes him to his very core, like acid burning through the inside of his stomach, like holding your hand over a fire as it slowly burns.

“Maria… I-”

“I’ve done a lot of shit, Guerin. Hurt people that I shouldn’t have, for you. I’m begging you, go get my mom. She doesn’t deserve any of this!”

He looks at Maria who’s watching him with tears rolling silently down her cheek. He doesn’t say anything, just swallows hard as he bites his tongue.

“You owe me.”

And he does. For the shit he put her through, for being stupid enough to try to ruin her friendship with Alex when he pursued her without even thinking about that, for all the times he hasn’t paid at the Pony, for all the times he’s taken it out on her and been in a mood when he’s fought with Alex. He loves her, he adores her. He can do this for her. Alex can get himself out, and he has to believe Jesse wouldn’t hurt him. He can do this to make up for the fact that he will always love Alex more.

“Okay. Okay,” he says, a grimace in the shape of a smile on his face as she throws herself in his arms, sobbing and whispering ‘Thank you’ over and over again. Isobel walks into his line of sight behind her, her patented ‘You’re an idiot’ mask firmly on. He knows he should’ve told Maria that it’s not just her mother that’s at stake, but he can’t. He has to keep her happy if he wants to keep her. She deserves to be happy with what she gave up for him.

He extracts herself from her grip a few minutes later, giving her a smile he hopes looks slightly more genuine, but probably doesn’t with the way she frowns.

“I have to go if I’m gonna do this. I need to get the location.” He kisses her on the forehead, cradling her face sweetly in his hands. “Stay with Isobel, you’ll be safe with her. I’ll be back as soon as I have her.”

He nods at Isobel, waiting for her nod back before he lets go of Maria and walks out of there. He ignores the thought of her frown as he texts the unknown number back, writing simply ‘Mimi Deluca’. He ignores it still when he gets a set of directions in reply. Maybe if he can ignore Maria’s frown, he can ignore how much it’ll hurt knowing that he’s leaving Alex to fend for himself. Even though he doesn’t deserve it, even though Alex always comes through for everyone else. He’ll do what Maria asked him to do and get her mom. It’s the right thing to do.

He wishes he could believe it himself.

-----

Maria watches Michael leave with a sour taste rising in her mouth. She was, she is, distressed, but now that he’s gone she knows there’s something he didn’t tell her. Her psychic sense is tingling, has been tingling since he came in but she ignored it when he started talking about her mom. But now she can’t anymore. Not with that grimace Michael had on his face as he left.

“Why did Michael have that look on his face?” she asks as she turns around to face Isobel. Isobel, who always looks impeccable in both manner and clothes, but right now looks a little nauseous as she looks down on the floor.

“What do you mean?”

It pisses her off that Isobel doesn’t even consider that she can see straight through her bullshit. That’s the thing with Isobel Evans, they might not be each other's biggest fan, but they’re far too similar not to know when the other is trying to lie or deflect.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“Maria-“

“Isobel. What. Aren’t. You. Telling. Me,” she says. The edge in her tone is hard, and she narrows her eyes as Isobel sighs irritably. But she knows she’s won when Isobel opens her mouth.

“Jesse Manes might have your mother behind one door,” Isobel replies. “But he has Alex behind the other. And by begging Michael to save your mom, you might just have killed Alex.”

The room is silent for a minute, long enough for Isobel to get worried.

She’s deeply relieved that Michael’s already left when Maria lets out an anguished scream shortly after, screaming in anger and grief.

“Why didn’t he tell me?” she yells in between the tears.

“You didn’t give him a chance,” Isobel answers. And she didn’t, with her demands as soon as she heard Michael mention her mother. She still regrets being quite so straightforward when Maria bursts into tears. The only thing she can do is hug her close and let her cling to her as she cries. She just hopes Michael hasn’t lost the love of his life because he thinks he has to do everything Maria asks him to, just because he feels guilty that she almost threw away a friendship for her brother and because he still can’t stop loving Alex, regardless of his feelings for Maria. But Isobel also knows it’s not that easy.

She still really hopes Michael returns with Alex and not Mimi, cruel though it may be. She doesn’t think Michael will survive if he doesn’t.

-----

His heart beats fast as he nears the directions from the text. He can feel it racing in his chest, his breath quickening as he sees the old, decrepit house on the side of the road. He hates that his mind is telling him not to stop, to drive on. To send a text and ask for Alex’s location instead. He hates that he’s unable to let it go, even if he promised Maria.

He wants to go get Alex. He wants, he wants, he wants. But he won’t. Alex can get himself out, he has to. Jesse won’t hurt his son. He really hopes he won’t.

He forces himself to stop in front of the house, getting out of his truck slowly while he listens to his surroundings, listens in a way that Alex taught him to try and make sure nothing bad is hiding around him. He reaches out with his powers too, tries to feel if there’s anything around. But there’s not; as far as he can tell he’s alone. He still approaches the house slowly, carefully, but nothing stops him. Nothing jumps out, nothing seems weird. It’s just an old house on the side of the road, close to falling apart and decrepit as all hells.

It’s creepy. It’s also perfect for Jesse Manes and his own brand of torture.

He opens the, admittedly shabby, front door and looks inside. There’s nothing there. Nothing besides a door to a room that seems to have been switched out lately. The pounding of his heart intensifies, though it’s more of a hard beat than a race now. A hard beat of regret. He pushes onward still, walking over to the door and taking deep breaths. One. Two. Three. The handle is in his hand, and he wrenches it open before he can second guess himself, his telekinesis at the ready. He moves into the room and stops. He can’t help but feel a deep relief course through him.

“Alex.”

The sight of Alex sitting tied up in the chair in front of him makes him want to weep tears of joy. It makes him want to jump in joy and take his face between his hands and kiss him, deeply, truly, as he runs his fingers through Alex’s hair. It makes him want to love him forever.

It makes him the happiest he has ever been before. Before he remembers Mimi. The person he was meant to save. The person he promised to save. Who is now most likely dead. A part of him cries out in fear of what will happen with Maria, now. Now that he’s failed her too.

But Alex is here. Alex is alive. He can’t help but be grateful. It’s who he wanted to save all along.

Alex looks at him with an unreadable look on his face, before he looks down and a soft, sob like sound leaves him. Michael rushes over, talking nonsense as he unties him from the chair.

“Hey, Alex, hey, I’m gonna get you out of here, I swear,” he babbles, helping Alex stand, letting him lean on him as he groans when he puts weight on the prosthetic. Alex doesn’t really say anything, just lets Michael lead him to the car, lets him help him into the car and close the door. He doesn’t say anything as Michael gets into the truck himself and drives away from the old house. Doesn’t say anything as Michael asks him if he’s hurt, or okay, or in pain, just shakes his head or nods where he needs to. It makes Michael feel unsure, makes the grief of Mimi linger in his head because in many ways Alex doesn’t seem happy to see him, just blank. He doesn’t want to know what happened to him before he got there.

“Alex, I-”

“Where are you going?” Alex finally asks.

“I need to go to the Pony. I need to tell-”

“You need to tell Maria about Mimi. Yeah, Guerin, I know it was either me or Mimi. My dad likes to torture me, you should know that by now.” Alex shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Let’s just… Let’s just go.”

Michael can’t really do much more than nod, especially as Alex turns away to stare out of the window of the truck. He wants to console him, wants to hold his hand and make him feel better. He doesn’t feel like he’s allowed to, given that he didn’t actually pick him.

-----

They get to the Pony half an hour later. Half an hour in awkward silence that Michael can’t seem to break, a silence that Alex won’t break. He’s tried, asking him if he needs food or water or if he would prefer Michael to drive him home. Alex has just shaken his head every time. No answer, no noise, just a shake of his head. Michael is worried, so very worried. But he doesn’t want to pry.

“You don’t have to come in if you don’t want to,” he tries to offer. The derisive snort Alex releases tells him all he needs to know about that suggestion, so he just nods and gets out. Alex is just getting out of the car when the front door bangs open. Maria runs out, tears and hope on her face. She freezes as she sees Michael, as she sees Alex. Michael can see the way her teeth clench, how her hands tighten into fists, how she starts to slightly shake from trying to hold herself together. So Isobel told her then.

“Of course you picked him,” she bites out. “Of course Alex was more important than my mother.”

He looks at her, doesn’t know how to tell her that Jesse gave him the wrong coordinates. If he tells her Alex will hear, Alex knowing he didn’t pick him would be worse than Maria thinking he decided to leave her mother. He won’t think about why that is yet.

“And my mother is left in the hands of Jesse fucking Manes. How the fuck could you leave her with him, Guerin!”

She rages. He lets her. Lets her curse him to kingdom come, lets her yell all her hatred at Jesse and sorrow over her mom at him. He let her down, he knows what. He still can’t help but feel happy that Alex is alive.

“I should’ve known.” Her eyes fill with tears, her clenched hands releasing, her jaw softening. “I knew the second Isobel told me that you would show up with Alex. And I guess I can’t blame you, I know you still love him, after all.”

He opens his mouth to answer, but stops when Alex walks closer to Maria, taking her hands between his. She’s crying openly, big fat tears running in rivulets down her face. But the happy smile she gives him through her tears, her relief to see him makes Michael feel marginally better. Especially when she lifts his hands to her face and lays small kisses on them.

But Alex doesn’t look relieved, nor happy. He just looks full of sorrow and pain. Michael doesn’t understand, especially when a tear slowly rolls down Alex’s cheek as well. He doesn’t know what’s going to come out of Alex’s mouth as he opens his mouth to speak.

"He chose her," Alex answers for him. "He just didn't know Dad switched who was behind which door.”

All the air in Michael’s body stops circulating at that point. His heart beats faster in response, his hands start sweating, his nerves tick behind his eyes. No, no, no no nononononononono.

Alex scoffs. He extracts his hands from Maria’s, whose eyes are wide, shocked and distraught. Just like Michael feels to his very core. “I’m sorry about your mom, Maria. But I’m not sorry I’m alive.”

Michael can only watch in horrified shock as Alex turns and walks away. All thoughts of Maria are gone.

“The worst part is, I would’ve picked you,” Alex says as he stops a few feet off and looks back at Michael. “I always pick you.”

Michael doesn’t think he could feel worse if he tried.

#roswell new mexico #michael guerin #alex manes #malex #malex fic #my fic #isobel evans #maria deluca #mentions miluca #angst #ambiguous ending #maybe sorta hopeful ending

[goodluckdetective]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by the lovely @secretlystephaniebrown

Name: Everyone calls me Iz

Fandoms: I’m all over the place, but I have spent time in RVB, Overwatch and DC comics. Currently dipping my toe into some more TMA ideas.

where you post: A03 or bust but I also crosspost here. 

most popular one-shot: (by kudos)

Like the River: 

(Overwatch, Mchanzo)

Dragon Spirits don’t trust just anyone.

McCree never expected for them to ever trust him.

Or how McCree gained some trust, won a shootout, almost caught the flu, and proceeded to be the most handsome damsel in distress Overwatch has ever seen.

most popular multi-chap: (also by kudos)

Playing Possum: 

(Overwatch, Mchanzo)

When Jesse McCree's bounty doubles, Jesse has a plan: stay low and don't die.

Waking up with his funeral on the front page of the newspaper, it becomes clear he failed step one.

Or Overwatch has a problem with fake funerals.

favorite story you’ve written so far:

It will always be “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” No contest. I have a favorite fic child and it’s this one. However, the grimmons fic “We Will All Go Together When We Go” is the second in line.

The Devil Went Down to Georgia:

(Overwatch, Mchanzo)

Fifteen years ago, Jesse McCree made a deal at a crossroads for someone’s life.

Now, the creature has come to collect.

fic you were nervous to post:

Probably my latest because I haven’t posted anything in an ERA. It was like getting on an old bike.

Smile, You’re Trending

(TMA, JonMartin)

During an encounter with another Avatar of the Eye, Jon faces his past, Martin takes a turn at playing Kill Bill and Basira has a second look at the monster she’s determined to see.

For three people associated with the Eye, they could all use some perspective.

Contains spoilers for 179 but not 179 centric.

how do you choose your titles:

God, only knows. Song lyrics are a good go to, but sometimes I just grab a line from the fic or something I think is witty and hope for the best.

Do you outline?

Not in the traditional sense as I generally don’t do multi chapter works. What I usually have is a skeleton outline which is a list of scenes and dialogue I want to include in a piece. Not everything from the list is used, but it is a roadmap to points I want to hit.

In progress/upcoming:

I’m combining these as I don’t really do multi chapter works. Sorted by fandom with no promises to finish any of them.

Letters to Nowhere (SPN, Destiel, bg Sileen): AU finale to Supernatural where Sam texts Cas as they work to free him from the empty and learns some stuff along the way. 

Two Weddings and a Funeral (SPN, Sileen, Destiel): Series Code canon compliant Supernatural fic where Cas visits Sam on Earth when he is still alive. Featuring Cas as an angelic carrier pigeon, Eileen as the inside woman, and Dean trying not to abuse his boyfriends angelic powers for celestial email.

Currently Untitled (Hades, Canon Ships): Where Patroclus is Zagreus tutor instead of Achilles. 

Prometheus Made This Look Easy (Ace Attorney, Miles/Phoenix): Where Phoenix literally can’t die and that shockingly changes very little about his court room strategy. 

TMA reincarnation thing (Canon Ships): Where everyone gets a second shot and tries really hard not to fuck it up this time/fix their past mistakes.

Untitled (TMA, JonMartin): Speculative Post Series where Jon is studying for his librarian degree and has a conversation with a man listening to old tapes that he will not remember later. 

Prompts?

You can always ask but you’re not likely to get a fill.

upcoming work you’re most excited about:

Probably the SPN codas because there is a great need and once I’m done with them I can go back to not caring about Supernatural again like God intended. 

I shall tag @nitewrighter if you want to get in on this.

#iz writes #ask meme

[captainsassmanes]

I Don’t Look Away

Part one here and part two here

He’d been tense for too long. He really had tried avoiding Alex, giving him the space he deserved away from the perpetual mess that was Michael Guerin, but it was as though they were constantly being pulled into each other’s orbit.

As his own form of punishment, he’d forced himself to stay home for close to a week, pouring through some documents Valenti had delivered on Alex’s behalf. Like a good boy, he stayed away from the booze and only took small sips of acetone when he felt himself getting tired.

Texts from Liz and Maria went ignored and unanswered, while Isabel only received clipped, one word responses. It was after a night of fitful sleep, dreams of Noah, and pain, and his mother’s weak smile, and Alex, trapped behind glass, that he realized he couldn’t isolate himself anymore.

Bright and early the next morning, Michael forced himself up and took a long shower. With some fresh clothes and a purpose, he headed into town on a mission. 

Family first. 

Isabel was the only family he had left. The only family that hadn’t been sacrificed. 

Or pushed away. 

He was gonna make damn sure he didn’t lose her, too.

With the few dollars he had, and with what little charm he could muster, Michael bought his sister’s favorite bottle of red and a bouquet of brightly colored flowers. He tipped his hat to the woman at the counter, who had generously offered a ten percent discount, and headed to Isabel’s.

Sober and with a fresh take on his surroundings, Michael was surprised at how much of Roswell brought Alex to the forefront of his thoughts. The UFO emporium. The drive in. The Crashdown. The Pony. It made a sadness creep into his chest; unwanted but undeniable.

When Isabel’s house came into sight, Michael slammed on the breaks, confused and concerned. Next to Isabel’s car in the driveway sat a familiar Jeep. His heart raced as every scenario, the stupid to the scary, ran through his mind. Before he could let himself get carried away, he pulled in and hopped out, wine and flowers grabbed with no finesse, cellophane crunching under his grip.

The door opened and Michael froze. In the middle of the immaculate living room stood Isabel in full work out gear with a glisten to her skin and Alex, holding up boxing mitts, sweat clinging to the long, dark hair at the nape of his neck.

Isabel was laughing; out of breath but clearly having a great time.

“That was better. Focus on accuracy, though, not-” Isabel had surprised him with a punch to his left mitt, knocking him slightly off balance.

“-not brute frickin’ force. Ow.”

Isabel stood triumphant, hands on her hips and chin raised. Michael thought she looked like a queen. Or a warrior. Both.

“Don’t be mad, military. Just ‘cause I can hit harder than you.” She gave him a light tap on the cheek with her glove and turned her back, heading toward the kitchen. “C’mon, it’s wine time.”

Without looking back, she added a deliberately loud, “hello, Michael!”

Instantly he saw Alex tense. What had obviously been a fun and relaxing morning, Michael managed to turn sour with just his presence.

He sighed and took off his hat. “Hey, Iz.”

Deciding it was worth the risk, he moved slowly into the room, watching as Alex took off his boxing gear and ran a towel over his head.

“Alex.”

“Guerin.”

If it was possible, and clearly it was, Alex was more beautiful every time Michael saw him. His eyes shined in the sunlight streaming through the windows. He had started to grow out a beard which only made his jaw line look even more well-defined. His forearms looked so strong, veins decorating the muscle there. Michael couldn’t get enough.

Clearing his throat, Michael said, “I, uh, didn’t mean to interrupt. I had just hoped to catch up with Iz.”

Alex nodded, focused on shoving all his stuff into a large duffel. Michael was suddenly overcome with fear that Alex would leave and he had no idea when he’d see him again.

“You’re not interrupting. We were just finishing up.”

Alex tossed the bag over his shoulder and offered Michael the most insincere smile he’d ever seen. His chest hurt with realization the he’d put that facade there. He was the one who had shoved Alex hard enough that the walls had flown back up. He was responsible.

“I’ll see you around, Guerin. Tell Isabel I’ll text her, yeah?”

Michael nodded dumbly, unsure of what to say and positive he couldn’t make Alex stay. He watched as Alex climbed into his car and drove off.

“You, my beloved brother, are an idiot with the worst timing.”

Michael huffed a laugh and shook his head. “No shit, Iz.”

With a dramatic plop, Isabel dropped herself onto the couch looking like she just stepped off a runway, not from workout. “You chased away my partner in wine.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. But here.” He offered her the wine and flowers with a small smile which she took cautiously, eyebrow raised in suspicion. “Did you do something?”

Michael made a noise of pretend offense. “Me? Absolutely not. Not today at least. I don’t think, anyway.”

They both laughed as he sat next to her, hands playing mindlessly with one another. “They’re to help me say sorry, actually.”

Isabel turned, serious look on her face. “For what?”

With a shrug, he said, “for not being here. For being so absorbed in my own shit, forgetting everyone else had shit, too. You, especially.”

The room was silent but comfortable. Without a word, Michael knew he was already forgiven but it didn’t feel like enough.

“Alex is gonna be around more. He understands.”

Michael shifted on the couch, turning toward his sister who was staring out of the large window. “Understands what?”

She turned to him, eyes hard but sad. “What it’s like to have someone who’s supposed to love you abuse you.”

Michael bit his lip and nodded. Another example of what Michael had pushed out of his mind to focus on his own losses.

“I know why you like him, you know,” she said with a smirk and a bump to his shoulder. “He’s really kind and surprisingly insightful. Funny, too, although he can be a real di-”

“Love.”

“Hmm?”

“You said you know why I like him.” Isabel nodded in agreement. “I don’t like him. I love him.”

She gave a small smile. “Which is evident when you date his best friend.”

Michael scrunched up his face in pain and walked to the window, pressing his clammy forehead against the cool glass, eyes shut tight. “Practically every bad thing that’s happened to me involves Alex. I-I don’t blame him; the shit that’s happened isn’t his fault. But he’s tied to it. I see him and I remember everything that hurts.”

“Example, please.” Michael jumped slightly, finding Isabel standing next to him suddenly.

He lightly bumped his head against the glass a few times, willing himself to talk about the images that haunted him.

“Like Caufield. I meet my mom and then, literally bam, she’s gone. He was there. He brought me there. I see him, I think of her.”

Isabel’s hair moves over her shoulder as she nods. “So Alex showed you that there are more of us that exist here, you met your mom and he got you out alive.”

Michael’s head whipped so quickly to face her he thought he heard something crack. “How do you know all that?”

She shrugged. “Combination of things. I’ve been able to read you like a book since we were kids. Plus, I’m Alex’s best friend now so, I know things. Or, at least, his perspective on things.”

Michael rolled his eyes and began pacing, hands moving wildly. “So, what? He thinks I should thank him or something?”

The look of exasperation on Isabel’s face was borderline comical. “You’ve met Alex, right? You think he’d ever say that? Really?”

Michael deflated. “No. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, Iz.” He moved back to the couch and sat, head in his hands, fingers gripping his hair tightly.

“He’s all I think about.”

The cushion dipped next to him and a hand rubbed comforting circles on his back. “Then why DeLuca? I get that you need time to work through your feelings about Alex. Trust me. I understand. But why her? Why be cruel?”

He looked up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt Alex. It’s just...I like her. I really do. And she wasn’t ashamed of me the way I thought Alex was. She’s not complicated, either. I look at her and I like her and she likes me and it’s, just, simple.”

Isabel’s soft hand came to rest on his cheek wiping away a lone tear, then turning his face towards hers. She practically whispered, “but it’s a lie, Michael.”

He nodded, biting his lip and trying so hard to keep it together, but Isabel was having none of it. She pulled him in by the back of the neck and held him close, tucking his head under her chin. Michael couldn’t hold it together anymore. He sobbed, cries shaking his body and making him gasp for air. He held Isabel tight, squeezing a little too hard, but desperate for the comfort she brought.

“Alex may hurt, but he’s real. He knows you and he loves you. He’s real.”

His throat burned and his eyes ached, the tears refusing to stop. But her words became a mantra, echoing in his ears with each breath he took, each time his heart beat.

He’s real. He’s real. He’s real.

#Roswell New Mexico #Malex #Malex fic #Michael x Isabel #my fic #slightly edited

[purrfectstrangers]

Another great story from Gamzanon! I dunno what I did to deserve to pot all their short stories, but I'm happy to bring you yet another~

As always, be aware this is vore and digestion heavy, so readers squeamish about that, catch a different one <3

Fanboy Bellies

(I'm so sorry for the delay. My muse for the Dave prompt just flat out died... so here's a Hiveswap story instead. It's my first time writing these characters, so I hope it satisfies~)

[You literally always satisfy, my dude ;3]

~

Zebede couldn't believe that this was really happening.

He was to attend a Cirava Hermod concert. Cirava. Hermod. The vaporwave legend that had defined a generation was going to appear live on stage. And he was going to be able to see them. It was almost, no, it was completely unbelievable. Zebede was practically vibrating where he stood. With his round shape and his black and yellow color scheme, he already looked like a bee. Now he almost sounded like one too.

A pair of grey fingers snapped impatiently in front of his face, dragging Zebede back into reality.

"♤Are you just going to stand there all night? I need you to pull your weight here!♤"

"i'm sorry. i spaced out."

Yes, that's right. He wasn't here to just to see Cirava.

You see, Cirava was an online musician. The only reason they were at a concert was because they were challenged to a rap battle by one Marvus Xoloto.

Such an event naturally attracted fans of all stripes, including one particularly obsessive blueblood. Both Zebruh and Zebede wanted to... meet their respective idols, so the two decided to hatch a plan. Or, rather, Zebruh dragged Zebede into his.

"♢Now, do you remember the plan?♢"

Even when crouching behind a wall, Zebruh was still a lot taller then the young yellowblood. Enough so that he could probably rest his head in between Zebede's horns in the right position. Zebede pulled a jar of bees out of his hoodie pocket, taking a deep, steadying breath as he tried to focus. 

"ok guyz. i need you to do me thiz one big favor." Zebede whispered into the jar. "please." With another steadying breath, Zebede pulled off the lid.

The loudly buzzing swarm flew off around the corner, leaving Zebruh and Zebede to watch as security noticed the cloud.

"Wha-what the Hell!"

The large purple guard shielding their face as the swarm clouded around their head, twitching and twisting hither, thither, and fro in a desperate attempt to keep the bees out of their eyes. "Dammit! Leave me alone!" The clown swung their club wildly in a vain attempt to keep the bugs out of their eyes. They ran off cussing and flailing as the swarm persisted in its assault.

The two Zs waited for the buzzing to fall out of earshot before commenting. 

"♧...I'm going to be honest... that shouldn't have worked.♧"

"you'd be suprised. they're pretty reliable."

The two stood up and approached the Staff Only door. That was it. The one obstacle between them and their idols.

"♡I suppose this is where we part ways.♡" Zebruh gave a big dramatic bow, making sure to adjust his bowtie along the way. "♡As a lowblood ally, it has been my honor to unite a yellow fellow with his idol. I do hope you keep this favor in mind in the future.♡"

If Zebede noticed the slightly sinister intone of his voice, he didn't say so. "oh, yez. i will. honest, thiz iz the nicest anyone'z been to me for a very long time." His face deflated and his smile fell. "...it'z also the longest anyone haz ever interacted with me in a long time, come to think of it."

Zebruh pushed the door open, dramatically ushering him inside. "♡When we meet up again, we can interact plenty.♡" He winked and, again, adjusted his bowtie. "♡Until then, I have a date with a popular, promiscuous purpleblood.♡"

As the two walked in separate directions through the backstage area, a telltale gurgle escaped their guts and echoed down the halls. It's not every day you get to meet a celebrity. They're not going to waste this opportunity~

~

Cirava exhaled another puff of smoke, their room positively flooding with polluted green air. The condensed heat threatened to cook them alive as it left their form drenched in sweat. They let out a long, satisfied sigh as the drugs filtered through their body. Yeah, that was the stuff. A good smoke always got their head in the game before a song.

The door creaking open didn't catch their attention, but sudden loud coughing did. Cirava rolled their head over to see a round little troll waving smoke out of his face as his coughed and wheezed. They just stared as Zebede got his barrings again, watching his eyes widen as the two made eye contact. "well you're not security".

Zebede nervously rubbed the back of his head as he dared to step closer, waving smoke out of his face again when he had to suppress a cough. The room's heat was making him sweat just as much as his nerves were as he cleared his throat. "um, hi? zebede tongza. i'm a big fan."

Zebede held out his hand timidly, which Cirava shook without any fan fare, leaving Zebede to stare at his hand in awe as they pulled back. "cirava hermod. but im guessing you knew that lmao."

Zebede's face slowly split into a grin. "yeah... yeah! it'z good to finally meet you." Cirava stood, popping their back as they casually stretched. 

"dont mention it. youre cool. had me a little worried when you showed up without a pass tho." Zebede looked away, either embarrassed or ashamed. Cirava was too busy fishing a piece of paper from their pocket to care. "here's your autograph." They said nonchalantly. Zebede grabbed their wrist instinctively.

Zebede's mind sputtured and spurred to a halt as he stared. 

Right there, on that small piece of paper, in a lowercase, golden font, was the Cirava Hermod's name.

Cirava Hermod's autograph.

Cirava Hermod is giving him their autograph.

Just as Zebede began to process that information, a scent crept into his nose.

A heavy, mouthwatering scent. A smell more intoxicating then the poisonous green smoke that surrounded him. 

It was Cirava's scent. And they smelled wonderful.

Zebede's stomach growled.

"hey are you gonna let go sometime soon?"

Zebede looked up. "oh. sorry." Zebede plucked the note out of Cirava's grasp before pocketing. Now, he held their hand in front of him like a nice big burger. "i swear i'm sorry about thiz, but... i can't pasz thiz opportunity up."

With that, he promptly shoved Cirava's hand into his maw.

Cirava tried to pull their hand out as Zebede slobered all over it, savoring their flavor. "what the fuck." Cirava tried to pry his mouth open, only for Zebede to grab his free hand and shovel it into his mouth. "alright seriously. let go!" Zebede was pulled out of his blissful stupor as Cirava continued to struggle and shout. He shrugged apologetically before grabbing them by the horns and pulling their entire head into his mouth. He could risk them attracting any guards, or else he'd take his time savoring their taste.

Cirava's horns bulged out his cheeks as they thrashed around back and forth. Their feet beat desperately against the floor as his tongue coated their face in golden saliva. Zebede almost moaned as their salty, sweaty flavor overloaded his taste buds. Their scent continued to drift directly into his nose, leaving him drooling around his thrashing meal. It wasn't long before he greedily shoveled Cirava's head down his throat.

Zebede was already so pudgy that you couldn't tell from the outside looking in that Cirava's hands had reached his gut. At most, you'd be able to hear their muffled yelling coming from his midsection, but Zebede didn't notice that either. He was too busy slobbering on Cirava's torso. Still, even as caught up in his gluttonous fever as he was, still tried to avoid loosening their binder.

Another swallow finally distended his gut a little bit. Cirava's head outlined in his ballooning gut as they continued to swear and scream. His gut gurgled eagerly as Zebede closed in on those limply kicking legs. It wouldn't be long now.

Zebede tilted his head backwords and slurped up those flailing limbs like noodles. His gut completely ballooned out as his entire meal fell into it at once, forcing a massive belch out of his mouth. Zebede's gut gurgled eagerly around his vainly struggling celebrity snack, giving him time to catch his breath. The air had sense cleared, the green smoke drifting out of the open doorway, allowing Zebede to hyperventilate as what he just did caught up with him.

"i... ate you." Zebede's eyes began to shine, his face splitting into a massive, ear-reaching grin. "i actually are you. thiz iz so cool!"

Zebede belched again, not even stopping to be embarrassed as he began massaging his thrashing gut. "you were do deliciouz and juicy and filling... thiz iz amzaing! you were everything i thought you'd be."

Even with his body weighed down by a stomach that nearly doubled him in size, Zebede managed to bounce up and down on the balls of his feet. "i've wanted to eat you for so long, ever sense i first saw you, and now, oh, thank you so much!"

Zebede pulled his gut into a tight hug, resting his head atop Cirava's. "thankz for everything. you've made me the happiest troll on alternia." 

If Cirava had any response to that, it was drowned out by Zebede's grumbling gut.

~

Marvus blinked as he examined himself in the mirror, carefully checking his face paint for any imperfections. It was something he took seriously, even with his laid back personality. His face was on billboards. He couldn't afford a smudge.

Even still, his laid back smile didn't drop as he heard his door creak open. "Zeb. Bro. Buddy. Didn't I tell u bout comin back here?" Zebruh froze in the doorway, hand instinctively grasping at his bowtie to steady himself. He took a deep breath before walking in. 

"♡Oh, come on, darling. If you'd only give me a chance I...♡" Zebruh paused as Marvus spun around in his chair. The clown's posture was relaxed. His face was perfectly calm. He still had that lazy, carefree smile on his face. It just mad his red eyes stand out that much more.

"Thought I made it clear I don't want u round here." Marvus stood up. His massive body towering a full head over Zebruh. "Thought we'd had dis convo bout thirty times now. Round thirty two or so?"

Zebruh backed up against the wall, about to open his mouth in protest when the singer unsheathed the sword from his cane. His chin was made to rest on the blade as Marvus leaned on over him. The body heat coming off of him was palpable and Zebruh could smell the sweat running down his skin, some of it trying and failing to seep out from under his paint. "Zeb. I'm gon give it to ya straight. I don't want ur blud on me. I just cleaned dis suit. I justabout got my paint on. And I don't wanna get my hair gunked up. So I'm gonna let ya turn round now, kay?"

Zebruh forced himself to meet those eyes as they bore into him. Everything about this was starting to drive him mad. The heat of his breath, the size of his body, and that sweet smell.

Zebruh's stomach growled.

Taking his silence as an affirmation, Marvus plopped himself back down in his seat, picking at his face in the mirror. Zebruh practically throttled his tie as his tried to catch his breath, blood pumping in his ears as his stomach roared once again.

He always wanted to eat Marvus. Ever sense he saw Marvus he'd want to eat him.

But that smell.

He could practically taste it.

Marvus didn't notice Zebruh approach him not until his chair swirled around and his vision was suddenly eclipsed by dark blue slime. Zebruh moaned as his tongue lavished the idol's face, smearing his facepaint as it mixed with his sweat on Zebruh's taste buds, creating an intoxicating flavor that left the blueblood drooling.

Zebruh could've tasted his head for hours... if Marvus's hands hadn't clamped onto his neck.

Laid back or not, Marvus was still a purple blood. A purple blood who had no more patience for Zebruh's shenanigans. Zebruh tried to pry his hands open, but it did nothing to deter the bigger, stronger clown as he stood up and squashed Codakk's windpipe.

In a moment of panic, Zebruh kneed Xoloto in the gut, knocking his grip loose long enough for Zebruh's maw to wrap around those broad shoulders. Zebruh moaned again as his tongue slid across Marvus's chest, coating his pecs in blue saliva.

Zebruh kicked Marvus's discarded cane aside as he saw the clown grope for it before swallowing again. His gut bulged out from under his suit, showing off the outline of Marvus's face for all to see as Zebruh savored his now helpless meal.

Zebruh swallowed again, leaving only Marvus's kicking legs free from his maw. He spun around and planted himself in the chair, tilting his head up to let gravity drag Marvus's ass across his tongue. He chewed and kneaded that taught bubble butt as it slipped into his throat, before casually slurping up those pesky flailing legs.

The ensuing belch was nearly loud and crass enough to shatter the mirror. Blue spit flew everywhere as the clown curled up inside his new home. Zebruh shamelessly moaned as he felt the struggles start up. "♡Darling. You tasted so much better then you had any right too." 

Zebruh spun around and admired his giant gut in the mirror. Following the outline of Marvus's struggles as his hands massaged his tightly wrapped form. "◇Now, I know this must be hard for you. But I can hardly call myself an ally if I don't treat castes equally. And I've eaten quite a few lowbloods in my day." Zebruh swiped Marvus's hat off the mirror and rested it over his eyes. He reclined the chair back and pat his gut again.

"♡Please, darling. Kick back. Relax. And enjoy your stay. I promise I'll take good care of you~♡"

~

Both Zebruh and Zebede enjoyed every second of digestion. Zebede simply couldn't stop gushing about Cirava's work while Zebruh smoothly soothed Marvus's every move.

This continued even as punches turned to pleads and anger melted into fear. Zebruh was always happy to hear his food beg. Zebede was just happy to listen to his idol at all. 

As the hours ticked by and the guts rounded out, the two Z's examined their gains. They flaunted their heavier behinds with pride and declared that they would never shed these pounds.

As the fanboys gathered their mementos, collected discarded laptops and canes, their guts gurgled eagerly.

They licked their lips and wondered if they'd see their fellow fanboy on the way out. Because they both had plenty of room for desert~

#//digestion #//vore #submission

[gra-sonas]

I am not sure if you have been asked already if you have you can link to your answer if not what would you say you are most excited for in season 2? and then what would you say you are least excited for?

Hi nonnie!

I talked about some of it  in this post, but now that we’re closer to the S2 premiere (62 days), I tried to write down a little more (esp. about other characters than Alex *ahem*). THIS GOT LONG

Liz

Liz will have A LOT on her plate this season. She’s lost Max and got Rosa back in return. That’s some grade A emotional whiplash! It’ll be interesting to see how the new dynamic  between the sisters will be (Liz is the younger sister, but she’s the  older one now, that should be interesting!). We know from several BTS pics/vids this year (thanks, Trevino!), that Liz will work at the  Crashdown quite a bit (I wonder what that means in regards to a job in the field of biomedical engineering?). I also expect her to figure out a way to bring Max back (does she have/get a lab, will there be another underground bunker, will she work at Michael’s bunker???).

In the trailer Liz was seen with Jenna (😍) who showed her how to use a weapon. WHY IS LIZ LEARNING HOW TO SHOOT??? 😱 How is her relationship with her dad, will she tell him about Rosa (not just that she’s back, but also the bit about where Jim Valenti is Rosa’s biological dad? Or does Arturo already know???).  And what role does Liz’s mom play when she comes to visit? Oh, and how/when does she figure out how to bring back Max? So many questions, and I can’t wait to find out.

Rosa

Rosa’s return is one of very, VERY few things I liked about 1x13. I’m so excited she’s back and can’t wait to get to know her properly in S2. She’ll have a lot to deal with (”I’m a ghost.” is what she says in the trailer, that implies that she has to stay hidden, at least early on!). She’s still a recovering alcoholic and addict, and then there’s this whole thing of being alive again after a decade of… well, a decade of what? Noah put her in his pod, the same pod he said didn’t keep him in stasis properly. What does that mean for Rosa? Noah’s in a scene with Rosa in the trailer, is that a flashback? Was she ‘alive’ in the pod, or was she actually dead and didn’t feel a thing? How will her dad react? How’s her relationship with Liz going to develop? How ‘delighted’ will she be to interact with Kyle, her half-brother? I can’t wait to find out about all of that!

Isobel

My girl Isobel! She’s gonna have a lot to deal with in S2. First and foremost there’s Max’s death, which - given that they are sharing a very special psychic bond - I would imagine will be super hard for her to handle. In 1x13 we also saw her ‘unlock’ a new (new to her) power. Is that something she’ll try to develop further in the hopes of bringing Max back? Will she work with Liz? Will she unlock other powers? How will she approach dealing with the severe trauma of Noah betraying and (ab)using her? Will she go to therapy? Pretend like  everything is okay and try to figure it out on her own? Go to Kyle and talk to him? Go to Alex (PLEASE, LET HER GO TO ALEX)? Is she the one who’ll identify as ‘not straight’ at the end of S2? I’m absolutely STOKED for Isobel’s journey, especially bc Lily’s the coolest who also gives Carina ideas and talks to her about Isobel a lot. This is going to be so good!!!

Maria

Maria’s the character that had the least development in S1. She didn’t have  much of a storyline of her own, and mostly served as a catalyst for other character’s stories. I hope that will fundamentally change in S2. Carina’s said that they’ll dive into Maria’s family history this season, meaning that we’ll hopefully find out more about the necklace she’s wearing, its powers, and what part her family played after the UFO crash in 1947. What’s the DeLuca family legacy, and what do they know about aliens? When will Maria find out about aliens, and how will she react - not just about the fact that aliens exist, but that everyone close to her kept it from her for so long? Will be interesting to see what they’re doing with Maria this season. 

Max

Will probably stay dead for at least some of S2, he’ll probably be brought back halfway through S2? The when and how of bringing him back is one thing, interesting will also be, how Max is. Is he the same as before? Or did the use of that much power to bring Rosa back cost him. A part of his soul? His memories? Something else? Some people mentioned dark!Max could be an option, that could be really cool.

Kyle

My boo Kyle!!! I want nothing but good things to happen to Dr. McSexy. I hope his friendship with Alex continues to blossom and grow, I can’t wait for more brilliant and hilarious one-liners and quips (Kyle had the best lines in S1, and Trevino delivered every single one to perfection!), there’s at least one Kyliz kiss in his future, and while I know they’ll never be endgame (😢), I’ll enjoy it while it lasts (here’s me shallowly hoping for some good recreational s e x for the good doctor, though I do hope he doesn’t get his heart broken.

Michael

It’ll be SO hard to see Michael spiral. :( He’s got so many things to deal with, and I’m worried how long his ‘free fall’ will last before he’s able to stabilize? Caulfield and Max’s death will be super hard on him, Iz will be busy getting her own life in order, and while I hope Liz and Michael will work together to bring Max back, it remains to be seen if Michael’s even up for it. I’m just glad to know that Alex is around, solid as a rock, not going anywhere, and I hope Michael will allow him to be there for him. ‘Only’ as a friend for now, but that’s what S2′s supposed to be about, Alex and Michael becoming friends. They still love each other (SO MUCH 🥺), they still have this cosmic bond, and I hope that despite them not being together (as ‘in a relationship), they’ll steadily move towards getting back together.

Special wish: should the ‘Alex gets kidnapped’ story line happen, I can’t WAIT for tornado!Michael to do everything in his power(s) to bring him back. And should there be a reason for Michael to put a handprint on Alex, I WANT IT!!!

Alex

Unsurprisingly, I’m most looking forward to all things Alex next season. And I really mean ALL things. Just seeing him will spark joy. I’m also prepared to worry about him. A LOT. First of all, he’ll re-enlist again. Staying in the Air Force enables him to get access to important information, which hopefully helps to keep Michael, Iz and Max safe, but what a price to pay… :/

I’m looking forward to the developing friendship between Alex and Michael, for the friendship between Alex and Kyle to grow, and I want a friendship between Alex and Isobel like almost nothing else in S2! I’m looking forward to BAMF!Alex who left nice in the Middle East and is ready to take on the fight with his father. I’m looking forward to interactions between Alex and his brothers (soooo curious about all things Manes Brothers!). I’m anxious to see how he’ll react to M/M (I really hope they won’t make him pretend it’s no big deal, or ‘forgive’ like it’s nothing that Maria went behind his back…), I hope to see Alex’s disability be more ‘visible’ again than during the latter half of S1. I wish his PTSD and what it means for him would be more visible and addressed but that might not happen. And then there’s of course BUFFYYYY! I’m prepared to sob my way through their first encounter. I’m so, so happy he gets to have her! ❤️

Buffy

I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET THIS VERY GOOD GIRL!!!!! 😍

What I hope for

A season that expands the RNM universe without losing focus of our main characters. Reveals of important alien history. Friendships developing. I hope that the influence of the large number of queer, POC, and female people working in the writers room and behind the camera will have a really positive influence on how S2 comes together.

I also hope for S2 to end on a positive/hopeful note for Malex. I hope they won’t be in relationships with other people going into S3, and I hope there’ll be a real chance for them to get back together in S3.

Despite them not being together in S2, I still hope for a kiss (OR SEVERAL, DON’T HOLD BACK ON MY ACCOUNT). I can’t go an entire season without them kissing 🥺🥺🥺

More characters  + some DNWs below the cut

Jenna

My girl Jenna! Gosh, I love her, and I can’t wait to see her again. I’m also hoping she’ll be in more than one episode. I want to know more about Charlie, I want to see more of my favorite sleuthing trio Jenna/Alex/Kyle. Just… give me aaaaaall the Jenna content!

Mimi

I hope we’ll learn more about her, her history with Jesse, and her potential history with aliens. What does Mimi know, did an alien ‘give’ her dementia? Is there a cure?

Steph

Steph (played by Justina Adorno) is a new character we haven’t met yet. According to Justina, “Steph is sassy. She is the Head of Surgery’s daughter. She’s a smart educated girl with a little sass“. So we don’t have much to work with yet, but ‘Head of Surgery’s daughter’ implies, that she might meet Kyle first (at the hospital)? Will she be in on the alien secret, or play a different role? Either way, I’m always excited for more female characters!

Grace Powell

I couldn’t be more excited about Jamie Clayton in Roswell, she’s brilliant and I want her around for more than just 2-3 episode. Hope she’s one of the good guys!

Mara & Louise

Mara (Michael’s mom) and Louise (likely Isobel’s and Max’s mom) are two characters we’ll meet in flashbacks to 1947. I’m excited to find out more about the aliens who crashed, where they are from, I hope the flashbacks will fill out some blanks. I’m also very curious to find out how they’ll incoroprate the flashbacks in general. Are these memories Isobel and Michael manage to unlock? Are there videos in the Caulfield files? Do they find old diaries in 2018 and they play out on screen?

Jesse

May he get what he deserves in S2 (AND I WANT ALEX TO BE THE LAST THING HE EVER SEES, PREFERABLY ALEX KISSING MICHAEL)

Arturo

No one, and I mean really absolutely NO ONE is allowed to mess with Papi Ortecho. (ง︡’-‘︠)ง  (ง︡’-‘︠)-o  (ง︡’-‘︠)ง Liz needs him, Rosa needs him,I need him. He better be healthy and well by the end of S2!

Jason Behr’s character

No idea who he’s going to play, probably someone from the 1947 timeline? Or someone who could be dangerous for the Pod Squad in 2018?

Wyatt Long

He’ll be in at least one episode, maybe more? What is he going to do if he ever finds out Rosa’s back???

For[r]est

Hopefully a good guy, and good for Alex. Still not eager to see this unfold on screen tho…

Manes Brothers

Ahhhhh, I’m actually super excited for Gregory Manes, and also for more Flint! I hope we’ll find out more about them, about their dynamics, who’s older/younger, how it was when they were little, and even though we won’t meet their mom this season, I hope we’ll hear sth about her (and why she left). I also hope that at least one of them will be in Alex’s corner, I’d also be in favor of a redemption arc for Flint, just putting that out there.

DNW

Any and all M/M & A/F “love” triangle stuff. I don’t want it and I wish it wasn’t part of S2. Alas, it will be and I just hope M/M will end quickly, and A/F is nothing but a fling. Ugh, I don’t want any of this 😩 My absolute nightmare would be for both ‘relationships’ to last into S3.

Extensive flashbacks to 1947 that take away precious screen time I’d rather see dedicated to characters in 2018.

Episodes that had to be edited extensively to fit 42 minutes (still mourning every little scene they had to cut from S1 episodes, even though we’ll never know what and how much got cut from each ep, it just was A LOT for some episodes)

Too much focus on the overall ‘murder mystery’ plot (or whatever we’ll get this year) . I’d much rather see the characters grow and interact with each other (more group scenes would be nice).

Another trash fire of a final episode like 1x13. Of course there will be a cliffhanger, and this time we know that we’ll definitely get another season, but still. Another season finale leaving the characters - and therefore us - in such a bad place would be the absolute worst. We’ve barely made it through this hiatus, I don’t think this fandom could handle another one with so much uncertainty, heartbreak, and dread of what’s to come in S3.

In case you’ve made it until the very end of this post, thank you, and thanks for your ask!!! Hope you’re having a great day, nonnie!  ✨💚👽

#roswell new mexico #roswell new mexico s2 #rnm speculation #rnm spoilers #malex #alex manes #michael guerin #isobel evans #kyle valenti #liz ortecho #rosa ortecho #jenna cameron #maria deluca #arturo ortecho #wyatt long #charlie cameron #mimi deluca #mara #louise #manes brothers #flint manes #gregory manes #jesse manes #long post is long #grace powell