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servin-up-surveys · 2 years

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survey #028

“i wear my blue jeans very tight; please the ladies every night / they put money in my hat, makes their husbands so upset”

Has anyone ever asked you if you were bipolar? Yes, because I am. Who’s the last person that slept over your house? My boyfriend. How would you feel if your last ex fell in love with someone else? I hope she does. Do you know anyone who died of breast cancer? No, but I know survivors. Which one of your friends is the funniest? Girt, always. Would you ever forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend for cheating on you? Nope, see ya. Would you date someone 8 years older than you? Yeah. That gap isn't my preference, but it's not too big a deal. Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? Sure don't. Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of the year? No. I usually deny myself this, but I have absolutely grown, at least a little bit. Who was the last person to compliment you? Uhhhh idk. Are you good at hiding your feelings? Nooooo, my face will say it. I'm BAD at keeping emotions entirely internalized. Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life? I absofuckinglutely would, I don't want to even picture that. Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? I've long since wanted this for him. I didn't once upon a time, but that hateful bitch is dead to me. Ever taken a picture kissing someone? Yes. Did you have a kaleidoscope when you were little? I did, I loved those. Would you ever go to the Galapagos Islands? If I had the chance, I absolutely would!! I would LOVE to see marine iguanas. Have you ever sent naked pictures of yourself to someone? No. I'm not against people doing it (so long as they are ADULTS and it is done completely consensually), I just sure as hell ain't doing it with the body I have. Have you ever been in a corn maze? I... think I have? Has one of your parents gotten laid off from their job? Yes. I think? Have you ever wondered what it’s like to have sex on a trampoline? ... Well NOW I have. Do you know anyone who got sent to a mental institution? Uh, me. I know I have at least two other friends who have been hospitalized as well. What do you think is the most beautiful language? In complete, total seriousness, I really do say German. I know people tend to think it sounds ugly and aggressive, but it's capable of just being beautiful, too. What is the weirdest music video you’ve ever seen? I don't have an insanely strong opinion, but I can very confidently say the one to Rammstein's "Mein Teil" is HIGH up there. I've watched the behind-the-scenes shit and everything and I STILL don't understand what the actual fuck is going on or how it relates to the song and I'm just,,,,,, confused lmao. Do you watch porn? Nah, it's not for me. Would you ever go to Mexico? I'd probably go, yeah. What do you think would be the most painful piercing to get? Genitalia or tongue, probably, with just how many nerves there are. I got my tongue pierced twice, and the first time I literally got dizzy, and the second time I actually got seriously nauseous from the pain. Man, I wish I hadn't kept chomping down on either of the balls and damaging teeth, because snake eyes are CUTE. I loved them. Would you ever have sex in a public place? No, because I have common decency. Have you ever swam naked? No. Have you ever spread a rumor? No. Have you ever written a short story? Yep. Have you ever used a fake ID? No. Have you ever ridden a 4-wheeler? I have, they're fun. Have you ever made your parents cry? Sadly. Can you whistle? Nope. I used to be able to. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. Can you lick your elbow? No. Would you ever have an abortion? Yes. It would honestly probably be a traumatic experience for me simply because of how long I was pro-life and how nightmarish the stigma is, but yes I would have one. i hope beyond hope I am never put into this situation, though. Would you ever go out with somebody of the same sex? I'm pan, I'd date someone no matter what they identified as. How about kiss your boy/girlfriend with your parents watching? Yeah, if it's just a quick, simple kiss. What about cuss in front of family? I know myself WAY too well to say no. I am very diligent about not cursing in front of my nieces and nephews, but if I was pissed off enough, I know I would. Did you kiss in any previous relationship? Jason and Sara, that was normal, and I also kissed Tyler once and very much regret it. Did you have sex in any previous relationship? Jason and I did practically every little thing you could do skirting around it, but ultimately still no. If not, what was the closet you got to sex? I'm not sharing. Did you meet any of the parents? I met Jason's and Sara's parents. If so, did they like you? Yes, fantastic people. Were you in love with any of them? I was madly fucking in love with Jason. Before I got serious with Girt and was reminded exactly what it felt like, I also thought that I'd experienced it with Sara, but I didn't. Have you had a long distance relationship? Yep. Whats the weirdest thing you’ve done on an elevator? Nothing? What do you think about most? I honestly think it's actually the future I pray I have with Girt. What is your youngest cousins name? No clue. Do say soda, soft drink, or pop? We say "soda" 'round here. What’s your crushes/bf's middle name? He doesn't have one actually, I'm assuming because he's already a Jr. Have you ever snuck someone in to your house? Nope. When was the last time you took painkillers? I take a daily painkiller for my legs that does absolutely nothing; I'm on like the minimum dose, and that needs to change. Have you ever picked flowers out of someone else’s garden without asking? No, that's very rude. What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid? I loved swimming. My little sister and I would sometimes convince our dad to put the pool up on the first day of spring, and even though the water was obviously freezing, we'd get in anyway, lol. Have you ever been close to drowning? No, thankfully. Who is your favorite philosopher? I don’t have one. If someone doesn’t like you, do you usually want to know the reason? Well yes, because I think we should always be willing to grow in the case that someone has a valid reason for disliking you. Hear 'em out, consider their point(s). What was the last picture you were in? Mom snapped a picture or my nephew Ryder and I sitting together in the recliner. Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) Oh I have no clue. What was the first social media site you ever used? MySpace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? Yes, Tyler. I wasn't into him and was just willing to try seeing where we went. I mean we were only together for like two weeks or so, but still, waste of time. Have you ever lied on a resume? Or even in a job interview? Oh, I've exaggerated. What brought about the end of the worst relationship you’ve been in? I consider my worst relationship to be with Jason when you consider how unhealthy it really was, and what ended it was him no longer being able to outlast my depression. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? Well my disowned uncle is in the process of getting sued by his own sisters and brother for being an absolute piece of fucking horse shit, so yes. Do you know anyone who practices Hinduism? Not that I know of. When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed? February of 2017. Wow... five whole years. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? My bed. Sleeping on couches is so uncomfortable imo. Who is the hardest working person you know? My mother, like holy shit. Can you name any songs by Godsmack? Yeah, I know a decent amount. "Voodoo" is a classic. Who’s one of the most talented people you know? What are they talented at? Oh, GOD. Who to even pick. You know what, I'm just going with idk, because I honestly know and/or am related to many talented individuals. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes, I strongly prefer those for getting body wash off. What color is your best friend’s hair? It's black, but he's insecure about having a lot of gray for his age too because it apparently runs in the family, the poor thing hates it, haha. What was the last event that was a turning point in your life? Honestly? Ending Sara's and my friendship. It was an act of self-love, and it just helped me a lot mentally. What’s your favorite setting in nature? (mountains, beach, desert, etc…) Mountains. I would love to like, stand in a valley in-between ginormous mountains and just exist for a little while. Do you know anyone who got engaged while still in high school? You know, I'm quite sure Colleen got engaged in HS. Bless her fucking husband, I couldn't STAND how that bitch treated him. Are you friendly to retail employees? Always. This should not be as hard as people make it seem. What breed was the last dog you saw? Oakley is a purebred chocolate lab. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? No. Do you know anyone in a relationship with someone who’s old enough to be their parent? I don’t think so. Do you have any Italian heritage? Not that I know of; I don't think my dad really knows much of his heritage, but our last name is Irish, so we know that much. What has been your favorite job you’ve ever had? I didn't like any job I've had. Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No. When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Like with both people speaking it, that would be my former German teacher. I want to say we had an over-the-phone test like... once a week or two? God, that was a long time ago. Mom likes to ask me what's being sung in Rammstein songs a lot though, and depending on how she phrases the question, sometimes I tell her the English translation as well as the actual lyrics. Has the last person you kissed ever treated you disrespectfully? No; he's always been considerate of my feelings. I can say he's asked something he really shouldn't have once, but it feels inaccurate to call it disrespectful. Do you know anyone who has had a miscarriage? I know too many people who have. It is sadly very common. What’s the most likes you’ve ever gotten on a tweet? (if you use Twitter) I don't use it. Do you know anyone who has lost their home in a natural disaster? A middle school classmate of mine lost his home to a fire.

#lyrics: ''cowboy'' by till lindemann #survey #surveys #random surveys #random questions

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laskinpublishing · 2 years

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SCROLL DOWN ▼ for Laskin Publishing's Books & Artwork

Now: Don's Uncalled for Commentary on Just About Anything That's Often None of His Business

The Donald and Der Fuhrer: Not a Perfect Match

In my last post titled, February 27, 1933 - January 6, 2021 , a paean to the January 6th hearings, I pointed out a number of things Mr. Trump and Herr Hitler shared in common. In the interests of fairness, I’d like to now point out where Hitler and Trump are very different.

Phenotype

Adolf Hitler

5’8" +/-, black hair, thin build; Charlie Chaplin mustache.

Donald Trump

6’2” or 6’3” or 6’4 ¾” Weight 244 lbs. or 265lbs. or 289 lbs; Blond hair in a comb-over, comic-book hero windswept look.

Blue eyes aside, chances are they'd never pass for twins

Psychological profile

Adolf Hitler

A psychopath driven by an irrational, burning hatred, especially of Jews, he curiously permitted himself one exception.That was Dr. Bloch, the Jewish physician who treated Hitler’s mother for breast cancer and charged the family little or nothing despite the fact he was at the Hitler home in Linz virtually every day for months.

After Germany’s annexation of Austria, Hitler protected Bloch, having the Gestapo of all organizations, ensure he wouldn’t be harassed. Hitler also made it possible for Bloch to emigrate to the United States in 1940 after the start of WWII.

While other Jews fortunate enough to be able to leave were forced to sell their homes for a fraction of their worth, Bloch received full fair-market value for his.

No amount of rationalizing in the case of Dr. Bloch seems to make sense since Hitler’s visceral hatred of Jews possibly more than any other factor, was responsible for the Holocaust.

Donald Trump

Scores of people from his niece, Mary Trump, to psychiatrists, to me — I took a year of psychology in college including a semester of abnormal psychwhich qualifies me to make a diagnosis…okay an opinion...how about a mildly informed guess — concluded Mr. Trump is a narcissistic sociopath.

Rather than being consumed by irrational hatred or even rational hatred, Donald Trump is consumed by love...of himself. He's often demonstrated it by taking credit for others' successes and shifting blame for his failures. In fact the phrase “throwing somebody under the bus” was coined just for him.

Mr. Trump has hired then fired everybody from attorneys general to his “favorite” child. Okay, so he didn’t exactly fire Ivanka. But, hearing Bill Barr testify that Joe Biden won the election and reports that it was stolen were "bullshit", Ivanka told the Committee, "It affected my perspective. I respect Attorney General Barr so I accepted what he said.”

That's all The Donald needed to flag down a bus. “Ivanka Trump [How many Ivankas does the man know?] was not involved in looking at, or studying, election results. She had long since checked out and was, in my opinion, only trying to be respectful to Bill Barr and his position as Attorney General (he sucked!).”

You’ve got to give The Donald kudos for the comment. In one shot, he suggested his former favorite child was clueless and his former attorney general sucked. Not too shabby.

ANYWAY…

Many, if not most, sociopaths are extremely charming when they want to be...or have to be. Whether it's murdering women (Ted Bundy), selling time shares or asking supporters for donations to the Trump legal defense fund, sociopaths have an innate ability to tell listeners exactly what they want to hear.

As a psychopath, Hitler demanded his followers go where he wanted to go.

Trump, the sociopath, went where his listeners wanted to go. Of course, there were places of agreement like building a wall to stop immigration or instituting a Muslim ban. However, if Mr. Trump’s audience was against abortion, he was anti-abortion (after years of not caring one way or the other). If they were fundamentalist believers of “The Word”, he would be a fundamentalist believer of “The Word” despite not quite knowing which end of the Bible was up.

Work habits

Adolf Hitler

Early on, as a political rabblerouser, Hitler worked tirelessly hour after hour in front of a mirror perfecting his gestures and facial expressions to ensure his speeches would have audiences out of their seats and "heiling" at a fever pitch.

Throughout World War II, he continued working hard. Said to have a photographic memory, Hitler, took an active interest in every phase of the German military machine — often to its detriment.

Donald Trump

His work habits could be summed up in two words: Golf. Twitter.

Food

Adolf Hitler

A vegetarian, Hitler had a major sweet tooth. To keep from gaining weight after indulging in his favorite deserts, he took purgatives (more on this later).

Donald Trump

Big Mac, fries and a Coke.

Drugs

Adolf Hitler

Der Fuhrer was a walking pharmacy. Supplied by one Dr. Morell, over the last six years of his life, Hitler received a cornucopia of drugs for everything from indigestion and insomnia to pain, lethargy and depression.

One drug, Mutaflor, replaced bad bacteria in the gut with good bacteria derived from the fecal matter of a Bulgarian peasant. Why a Bulgarian peasant and not an Albanian or Moravian? Sadly, that shall remain one of history’s unsolved mysteries.

Anti-gas pills Hitler took for his meteorism, a wonderfully descriptive term for chronic flatulence, contained atropine, a hallucinogen, and strychnine. Unfortunately, the doses were not sufficient to kill.

As many as twenty times a day, Dr. Morell injected the fuhrer with everything from cocaine to Oxycodone to Pervitin, a methamphetamine. It got to the point where the good doctor was having a hellacious time finding a usable vein.

By the time the War was drawing to a close, Hitler was left with compulsive habits including biting the skin on his fingers and scratching the back of his neck till it became infected. More and more he found it difficult to walk; hands shaking uncontrollably, and mind going from rage to depression to rage.

Donald Trump

Trump doesn’t smoke, drink or do drugs.

Murder

Adolf Hitler

Hitler was, of course, directly responsible for the mass murder of millions upon millions of innocent men, women and children.

Donald Trump

I could find no instance of Donald Trump having murdered anyone. The nearest thing to murder was when he posited the opinion that it might indeed be a wonderful idea if his VP were hanged.

Comments welcome.

LASKIN PUBLISHING

...Well Read!

Humor, mystery, the paranormal, sci-fi and more.

The Trilevolence by Donald Neal Laskin Facing execution for murder, on the run from both police and nameless killers, deserted and alone, Manuel Landaye must find a way to save his unborn son and perhaps mankind. It's a perilous journey taking him from this world to possibly the next.

When the Rant Is Due by Donald Neal Laskin; Original art by Stacey Laskin

Pages of original art, wry humor and lunacy covering the most impactful quarter century of Silicon Valley…and much more from medicine to monkeys.

Talara II by Liana Laskin Earth conquered, a Talaran officer crushing a new revolt falls in love with a rebel, but can’t let him, or her superiors, discover her secret.

The Mysterious Death of Lord Redcomb by Donald Neal Laskin The world’s most famous consulting detective is on hand to find out who dispatched Lord Redcomb. Could he himself be a suspect? Great fun with a killer ending.

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tilbageidanmark · 2 years

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Movies I watched this Week - #75

Season 3 of My Brilliant Friend, based on Elena Ferrante's ‘Those Who Leave And Those Who Stay’, continues the sublime story of friendship between Lila and Lenù. Girls who grew up poor in southern Italy at that time, had a near impossible chance to escape. Even as they grow into womanhood, Lila’s brave path to emancipate herself still breaks your heart. This season though was centered mostly on Elena’s intellectual growth.

Simply magnificent!

🍿

2 more by Aki Kaurismäki:

🎦🎦🎦 Drifting clouds, my 3rd masterful Aki Kaurismäki film (after ‘Leningrad Cowboys Go America’ and ‘The other side of hope’), and the first in his Finland trilogy. It seems so grim and dour on the surface, because the characters in it are not pretty, and the spaces where they move are cold and ugly. But behind it there is so much misery and beauty, you watch it with tears welling in your eyes for the duration. It's a very simple story of an unfortunate middle-age couple, a waitress and a tram driver, who get fired from their cheerless jobs and struggle to make ends meet. But trying to make the best of a dreary situation, makes this a tender and beautiful masterpiece.

Best film of the week! What I should do is just sit down and watch every single film of his, instead of jumping around from this to that. (Photo Above).

🎦🎦🎦 In his Kafkaesque tragi-comedy I Hired a Contract Killer, Jean-Pierre Léaud too is getting fired from his boring, meaningless job. He fails to commit suicide multiple times, so he decides to hire somebody to kill him instead. Everybody smokes all the time, and the music is haunting and eclectic.

🍿

Riffing on David Lean’s ‘Brief Encounter’ and other standard rom-com trops from the 40′s, Falling in love was about an unconsummated, awkward affair between Robert De Niro and Meryl Streep. Clichéd and unoriginal, but I fell for it nevertheless.

🍿 2 female-centered (+1 that is not) Korean dramas:

🎦🎦🎦 A Girl at My Door, an uneven psychodrama about a closeted gay policewoman who is sent to serve in a coastal village in disgrace, and takes in an abused 12-year-old girl. Unsettling.

🎦🎦🎦 I’ve seen Sang-soo Hong‘s wonderful ‘Claire’s Camera’ last year, and planned on seeing more of his work. But randomly choosing In Front of Your Face this afternoon was an unplanned, impulsive pick. I didn't know or read anything about it beforehand.

The film consists of only 32 minimalist shots. It’s very slow, and very quiet: Two adult sisters wake up at an apartment belonging to one of them, have coffee, take a walk in the park. From their chit-chat, it’s obvious that they barely know each other. Then the older one takes a taxi to an appointment she had. She meets a man there and they talk some more. That's all the action of the story.

But within the first few minutes, it’s clear that it is a story about grace, a place that cannot be taken for granted, like a dream that is difficult to recall. For one of the women, and for us, Heaven is right here, in every moment of our everyday lives, no matter what is about to happen to us.

I don’t want to give out the subtext - I think this should be watched ‘blind’. But this is why I spend so much time watching movies - to find an unexpected 10/10 gem like this!

🎦🎦🎦 "I'm going back!" ... My second Lee Chang-dong (After ‘Burning’) Peppermint Candy, which was also his second. A year before ‘Momento’, it tells its story of a person disintegrating in reverse chronological order, from innocence to tragedy and despair. Some knowledge of modern Korean history is needed to fully appreciate the subtext of this story, as his personalized brutalization correspondences to national events. Another from my Suicide movies list.

🍿

The Janes is a new HBO documentary about a group of heroic young women in Chicago, who helped 11,000 pregnant women to get illegal abortions in the tragic years before Roe v. Wade. As a film, it’s sober & well-made. As a political mirror for 2022, it’s a reminder how misogynistic American society had always been, and especially now, how it is becoming a full autocracy with Christian-style Sharia-laws. 9/10. 🍿

Michael Moore’s 2009 Capitalism: A Love Story is another depressing, horrifying documentary. And had it been made today, it would be even more unbearable. Corporate greed, cruel fascism, American-style death cult, rampant propaganda, the cause of so much suffering in the world. The evil of capitalism must be abolished and defeated. Class war seems to be the only solution in the little time we have before the final collapse of this civilization.

🍿

First watch: Gus van Sant’s My Own Private Idaho, a bold experimental casting of upcoming superstars River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves as young street hustlers. Shakespeare, drug addiction, stream-of-consciousness, gay prostitutes - Still, it didn’t move me.

🍿

Not being a fan of Nicolas Cage, The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent was wasted on me. The ‘One True God’ as a fictional action version of himself in a poor-man Malkovich meta parody, where the best part of this meme-concept was the odd name. He’s basically a terrible actor, and there’s no Spike Jonze to make this self-centered one-note joke real. 2/10.

🍿

Fast-talking annoying hustler Jesse Eisenberg plays The Hummingbird Project like he did Mark Zuckerberg in ‘The Social Network’, neurotic, megalomaniac, unsympathetic (even with stomach cancer). And Alexander Skarsgård is unrecognizable as his bold, autistic cousin. They build a 1,000-mile long fiber-optic tunnel between Kansas and New Jersey in order to shave 16 milliseconds in high-frequency trading. But explaining the technology and showing the physical project as a 3-man operation does not feel real.4/10.

🍿 2 nightmares about “The Geek”:

🎦🎦🎦 The 1947 original Nightmare Alley with Tyrone Power, cast against type. A strange noir about a low-life grifter who starts as a carnie-barker, rises to become a ‘mentalist’ conman to high-society, and eventual fall to the very bottom, in the form of the alcoholic, chicken-head-biting carnival ‘geek’. A nightmare indeed.

🎦🎦🎦 So I wanted to compare it to the new Guillermo del Toro Nightmare Alley version from last year, but couldn’t figure out: Why do a remake, when you have nothing of meaning to add to it? Affected, boring, self-important. Even Rooney Mara and bearded Richard Jenkins can’t help it.

🍿

The Grateful Dead movie (1977) was directed by Jerry Garcia himself, and nearly bankrupted the band during the two years hiatus they took from touring. It’s a concert film that includes lots of interactions with fans. Starts with a 10-min. psychedelic Yellow Submarine-style sequence.

🍿

2 shorts:

🎦🎦🎦 In Desserts, a short film from 1998, a very young Ewan McGregor Finds an Eclair on the Beach...

🎦🎦🎦 The Simpsons: When Billie met Lisa full of gags. She surely gets around!

🍿 I watched Gone Girl again, on the 10 year anniversary of the book. But I hated it again - it’s David Fincher’s weakest film (And actually, beside the genial ‘The Game’, and maybe ‘The Social Network’ and ‘Zodiac’, I never liked his movies that much!). So why is it? Mostly because both characters are unlikable and uninteresting, and the absurd suspense story lacks credibility and originality.

Trent Reznor’s score was the only redeeming aspect of it.

- - - - -

Throw-back to the art project:

Grateful Dead Adora.

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

#movies

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ethereal-blossom · 3 years

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I'm gonna pitch in officially this time. Can I please get headcannons about Kunikida and Chuuya having to deal with moody teenager/s for a case with a s/o who gets along with the teenagers?

(Also, P.S. for CHERRI, TAKE CARE OF MY FRIEND PROPERLY OR I'LL BREAK YOUR HEART, NOT METAPHORICALLY! )

a/n: seeing your old account made me realize how long ago you requested this😳 but ashdwer this was so much fun writing! i always love your ideas.

🚨warning(s): none

masterlist

kunikida and you had been send on the same mission. the only witnesses of the crime scene? teenagers. unfortunately for your man, it were moody teenagers.

now, kunikida has a bit of experience with the youth because of his previous teaching job and i like to think kunikida has a soft spot for young minds and hearts, but when they act like dazai 2.0 and get in the way of his perfect schedule-

kunikida is fine the first minute. he is professional, calm, responsible and- DID THEY INSULT HIS NOTEBOOK?

wait, it's fine. this are teenagers who just have to get educated on manners, kunikida remembered. he will just have to ask his question again of what they saw and... they made a joke about glasses. his glasses.

dazai flashbacks. kunikida instantly experienced stomach pains, sudden flashes of black and white over his field-

and that was your cue to jump in.

WAIT WHY WERE YOU JOKING ABOUT HIM NOW, TOO??

however, kunikida found himself amazed at how comfortable the teenagers seemed to be around you. your human knowledge -or better said understanding of teenagers- made his respect for you grow even more.

the conversation between you and the teenagers were all over the place: one minute you were discussing the crime scene and then you all were freaking out over that one new horror movie.

still a little annoyed from the way his perfect schedule ran out, kunikida found himself relaxing. hearing you laugh so casually while working things out- his heart fluttered and his cheeks steadily turned red.

when one of the teenagers made their observation vocal about the blushed cheeks, kunikida screamingly denied it.

which made him the target of some moody and cranky jokes.

but all was fine, because you got every detail that you two needed.

you: "did you write that all down, doppo?"

spoiler alert: kunikida had been admiring you so much that halfway through he had stopped making notes.

it only made you more amused and kunikida's cheeks a brighter red.

chuuya was thrilled to be on a mission with you and especially because it was an easy one. the only thing you had to do was get some information out of some citizen bystanders.

the plan was clear in the executive's mind: ask what the port mafia needed to know and if they refused to answer... well, the fists would do the talking. maybe he could even take you out on a date afterwards.

the plan was aborted once chuuya saw the teenagers.

chuuya isn't that hot-tempered when he-who-shall-not-be-named-in-chuuya's-presence is out of the picture but nevertheless, there are some vulnerable spots in chuuya's pride.

his height. we are talking about his height.

chuuya started to feel a bit on edge when one of the teenagers looked him up and down while he was in the middle of his question.

instead of a proper answer to his question, the same teenager made a remark about his height...

the diSresPect. your man froze for a few seconds.

okay, teenagers were a bit rebellious. he could make a big deal out of it or he could handle this quickly so he could take you out on a date.

then somebody made fun of his hat.

pride = hurt. it was an arrow shot through his heart.

dazai flashbacks triggered chuuya's hot-tempered character.

lucky for everybody, you were there.

you stole chuuya's hat and placed it on your head. you joked around with the teenagers while giving chuuya a playful look.

you sly-

chuuya always melted when you wore his hat and he knew you were aware of it.

and now you were using it as a weapon against everybody in the room. not only did you calm down your man, but you entertained the moody teenagers.

chuuya still felt a bit hurt during the interrogation, but he couldn't stay mad when your eyes sparkled the way they did like now-

was he smiling?? he totally was.

and when you touched his shoulder for a short second, he felt a rush of warmth spreading through his veins.

and when you had all the information you needed, chuuya gave you a big compliment of how well you had dealt with the moody teenagers.

you: "you were so going to freak out, weren't you?"

chuuya: "they made fun of my height and my hat!"

"the audacity."

#kunikida x reader #chuuya x reader #kunikida x you #chuuya x you #kunikida x y/n #chuuya x y/n #bsd x reader #bsd headcanons #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs

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yellowocaballero · 3 years

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hi i know it's been the hottest of seconds but director's cut for the prophetic spring if you're still doing these? 👀

Sure! I’ve spoken a lot about the prophetic spring, but I’m fairly certain I could give some meta information about my intense life-long obsession with Tim Drake. Dude has been showing up in my fics since I was 14.

But actually, the ficlet I wrote ages ago might be more interesting? So here it is. Exploring a dynamic that was WAY underserved for how important it is: the Steph, Cass, Tim dynamic!

No CW that haven’t appeared in the prophetic spring, but specific mention for drug addiction and drug depiction, as well as references to molestation, abortion, torture, and suicide. Story under the cut.

Tim stared down into the toilet bowl. It was a little yellowed. He needed to clean it.

He stared at the small baggie of pills in his hand.

He visualized dropping it into the bowl, flushing it. Possibly mutating an alligator, or giving the race of mole people that lived in the Gotham sewers a nice surprise.

Tim sighed, and pocketed the drugs. Maybe tomorrow.

A month after the incident with a runaway foster kid and a, in retrospect, kind of embarrassing fake fight with his older brother, Tim got a text from an unknown number. To make matters worse, it was at an insane hour of the day - noon.

Texts from strangers were hardly uncommon. Tim had an extensive contact network, growing larger by the day, but he had set up a Google Voice on his computer so they were all routed through a program there. Being bothered at all hours of the day on his phone was hardly his idea of a good time. The only people who really had his real number were his bullshit ‘friends’ and his asshole ‘family’. He hadn’t even given his number to his ‘friends’ - he had given it to Kon under strict confidentiality, and then Kon had given it to all of Young Justice. Asshole.

405-555-1998: dropping by in three hours so make sure ur presentable :)

As Tim had just woken up, most of his brain was occupied by a single whuh?

Just as his mind swirled in sleepy confusion, his phone buzzed again.

405-555-1998: B1706XQE45

The code checked out. It was an ally, not an unknown or an enemy.

Tim groaned, covering his eyes with an elbow. He needed coffee.

****

The coffee was a new thing - rather, it was something he had drunk plenty of growing up, because there had been nobody around to inform him that coffee was bad for developing brains. Growing up completely unsupervised was probably why Tim was a drug addict now. He could totally blame this on his parents never loving him.

Not a drug addict, Tim thought to himself anxiously as the coffee sputtered into the extra large gallon pot. Just someone who...uses drugs...in an unhealthy way. Substance abu - substance user, who just used it maybe as a bad coping mechanism. Not that Tim had good coping mechanisms, but it was better than sawing off heads or becoming a drug lord. When you thought about it, it was either being a serial killer or doing drugs, so logically it means that he should do more drugs to decrease the amount of fun little murders he does -

Tim made toast.

The coffee was a new thing, because he was trying to use it to replace the drugs. He had cut back. The stupid little sorority that called themselves the Birds of Prey had been talking to him about it. He had agreed to try. It was best to set expectations low, so he couldn’t disappoint. Actually, Tim loved disappointing, maybe he should set them higher. Maybe he could make inspirational speeches about how he was a good guy now? Ha ha.

The three hours had been a deft move. The texter knew noon was his average wake-up time at best, and the three hours gave him enough time to sober up if he had been high or drunk at the time. Tim didn’t like to start popping the minute he woke up, but - well, sometimes he did. Or sometimes he was awake at noon because he had been on an all-nighter drug binge. They hadn’t given their name, either, which meant that it was somebody who he wouldn’t want to see.

He could bounce, escape to some corner of Gotham until they gave up. Except he had the sense that whoever had gone through the effort to get his number wasn’t the type to give up. Almost nobody Tim knew was the type to give up. His ‘friends’ and his ‘family’ never gave up. On anybody but him.

A voice in his head, not quite yet suffocated, sounding altogether too much like the Replacement, echoed in endless attempts to get him to come back. Oh, whatever. Kid was a try-hard. He needed better taste in made up families.

Over the next three hours, he debated his tactics. If he wasn’t escaping and the texter was playing the buddy card, then the situation probably wasn’t dangerous. He strapped in his armor under the baggy pyjamas that he never took off anyway, and spitefully made no effort to control his hair. He did put on make-up, an old hand from keeping CPS off Bruce’s trail - man, he should have pretended Bruce was molesting him, that would have been funny as fuck - to hide the bags under his eyes. No use looking pathetic.

He hid a few more weapons around his apartment. He anxiously checked his phone, staring not at the new texts but at Harley’s offer sent a week ago. He still hadn’t replied. He didn’t know what to do with it.

As if he could ever feel safe sleeping under the same roof as her?

As if he ever felt safe anywhere?

Maybe he had nothing to lose. That was the greatest part about this, the most wonderful aspect of what he had done to everybody in his life. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. That’s freedom, or so Janis had always told him. She knew what she was about. Overdosing on heroin at 27 - that was understanding what it meant, to have nothing. To be free. He was almost jealous.

At two on the dot, a polite knock echoed through the apartment. Tim looked up from where he was relaxing on the couch, with all of the possible entry points in his line of sight. That wasn’t a knock he had memorized, and he had memorized everyone’s knocks.

Nothing for it. He’d have to get rid of them as quickly as possible. Maybe he can pull the insane sociopath schtick again; that had always been effective in ditching his parents. Tim sighed, walked over to the door, swiped his thumb against the keypad, undid the three deadbolts, and opened door only to see -

Stephanie Brown, hands propped on her hips and smiling widely. Cassandra Wayne, standing right behind her, serene as ever.

Tim closed the door - or he tried. Steph had expected the move, and the minute he had opened the door her foot had jutted out and blocked him from closing the door. Effortlessly, she wrenched it back open and stepped into his apartment, forcing him to press against the wall and scowl as insane women infiltrated his space.

“Wow,” Steph said loudly, “this place looks like a wreck!”

Tim groaned.

***

The thing with Steph and Cass was this:

How to describe it?

The sister he had never expected, the best friend he had never thought he would have. Cass was his twin, Robin’s shadow, the other side of his mountain. Bruce had adopted Cass barely five months after he became Robin, and Tim had unabashedly resented her for stealing Bruce’s attention so quickly. He had always liked her more, but Bruce had liked everyone more than Tim, so maybe it was no surprise. She was sweet, kind, gentle, and no trouble. Tim wasn’t any trouble either, but he couldn’t be the rest of it if it bit him in his ass.

Robin was the brain. Cass was the muscle. They were a team so closely linked, conjoined at the hip, that Tim couldn’t remember a patrol ever done without her. Bruce had let them start patrolling alone at fourteen (“You didn’t let me work alone until I was fifteen, and I was an assassin,” Damian had spat), and they had been an unbeatable team. Robin’s hand-to-hand was weak, but nobody ever got through Batgirl. Batgirl struggled with technical knowledge, reading and writing and investigating and chasing down leads, the only area where Tim had ever excelled. Together, they had almost been as good as Batman. Sometimes, Tim had let himself think that they might be better.

They had been so similar. Everyone had always said so. They’re both so quiet, the Justice League had said. Emotionless little freaks, the Rogues had said. Neither of them blink, their schoolmates had said. But there had been nothing to say, not between them: they could have a conversation without words, without even Sign. Cass had known every twitch of Tim’s body, had understood him down to his core. Nobody else ever had. Everybody had always called Tim inscrutable and impossible to understand - but to Cass, Tim had been an open book. She knew every inch of him. And she had loved him anyway.

And Steph! When Steph had found them when they were fourteen veering on fifteen, and from then on it was as if she had always been there. She was so big, so smiling, so much, and she had never apologized for any of it. Nothing scared her. To Tim, that was the perfect vigilante - somebody who was scared of nothing, who never hesitated, who was good.

Not even Bruce could intimidate her. When Tim was fourteen, he had thought that was the most amazing thing in the world. Bruce intimidated everyone, but Steph had just stuck out her tongue and kept badly backflipping off roofs anyway. Through twin convincing, Tim and Cass had convinced Bruce to give her a chance, and Spoiler had slot into their dynamic perfectly. She was their best friend, always.

She wasn’t good at hand-to-hand at first, but Tim had improved by then, and they could cover her. She improved faster than he had, and judging from the reconnaissance footage Tim had frantically consumed after he came back to life, she was amazing now. She was wickedly smart, practical and down to Earth. If Tim was better at hacking into a computer, Steph was the one who found the post-it note with the password stuck under the desk.

But more than any of that, she had brought the social skills. She had brought the calming presence, the sweet hand to victims and civilians, and her good humor was infectious. Steph was good with people. She was a born leader. Resilient. Brave. Everybody liked her. Everybody loved her. Tim had. She had loved him too. She could have done so much better than Tim and Cass, weird little societal rejects, but she had chosen them as her family.

It had been the three of them. For as long as Tim’s life had meaning, for as long as he had been loved, they had loved him. Tim had grown up alone, in a world of one, and they had infiltrated it. They had expanded it, and they dragged his life into more than just Tim. Into Tim-and-Cass-and-Steph. Into Robin-Batgirl-Spoiler. Into meaning, and love.

Tim hated them. And he wanted them to suffer.

“That’s the Stephanie Brown I remember,” Tim sneered, closing the door behind him. Steph had quickly thrown herself onto Tim’s couch, clearly somewhat surprised at how comfortable it was, and Cass had perched daintily on the arm. Cass had always refused to sit like a normal person - she would rather sit on the backs of sofas, or on the arm, or perched on chairs like a bird - “If I had known you were coming I would have jumped cities.”

“We would have chased you down and you know that,” Steph said cheerfully, like she said fucking everything. “Besides, if you had known we were coming you would have gone into witness protection. You’ve been avoiding the fuck outta us.”

“Wonder why,” Tim said, injecting as much mean-spirited sarcasm into his voice as possible. “I need more coffee, don’t go through my shit.”

The apartment was small, and the kitchen had a cut-away wall where he could see through into the living room. Stephanie hated nothing more than being ignored or looked down upon, and if he dismissed her and didn’t react then she’d grow infuriated with him and leave. He couldn’t fight with her, because if it came down to a battle of rhetoric or emotions she’d win single-handedly. She was so good with words. Cass...had no weaknesses.

Which was inconvenient, because it was Cass he absolutely had to get rid of as soon as possible. She was very emotional, and more than a little sensitive. Especially to rejection. If he was cruel enough to her, she’d start crying and leave. There was only one problem with that.

As he jammed more grounds into the machine he watched the girls out of the corner of his eye. They weren’t talking or whispering to each other, both fully aware of how well Tim could read lips. They weren’t even having one of those body language conversations they could only have with each other, aware that Tim could crack that too. Instead Stephanie was casually sprawled on his couch, looking for all the world like a middle aged dad watching the football game, looking around the room. Cass, as usual, was zoning out. Or, of course, looked like she was zoning out - Tim could tell that she was waiting for something to happen, and was preparing herself for it.

Shit. Tim fought the urge to gnaw on his fingernail. Cass was going to be a problem.

He risked another glance backwards. She could see him, so she knew. Fuck. He had never been on the other side of her mind reading. It was fucking inconvenient. Psychics should be shot on sight.

The coffee sloshed into the biggest cup he could find in his kitchen, and Tim began draining it immediately as he leaned over the cutaway. He kept the cup held up to his face, obscuring it. Face covered, everything under the elbows covered - best he could do without preparation.

“This little field trip sanctified by Sgt. Brother?” Tim asked, sipping the scalding hot coffee. Not hot enough. He needed - he needed - they’d see -

“We’re nineteen, we don’t need his permission for everything we do,” Steph said, amused. So she was going to speak for Cass - hardly unusual, as whenever they were all together Steph tended to be the only one who spoke - but seeing as Tim was Tim then it was definitely a strategy.

“He lets his precious baby sisters knock on the door of drug lords for fun?” Tim sneered.

“If they’re incompetent and retired, sure!”

Tim gritted his teeth. Don’t rise to her bait. Don’t. She was the best person in the family at getting a rise out of their enemies. He didn’t stand a chance.

“What do you want?”

“We thought we’d take you roller skating at the rink,” Steph chirped.

Tim stared at her.

“Or the pool,” Steph said, faux-thoughtfully. “Or just the mall?”

Fuck this. Tim headed for the door, ready to walk out of the building barefoot in his pyjamas. He tugged at the doorknob, only to find that it wouldn’t open.

Tim breathed in through his nose, then out through his mouth. There were other exits. He was not trapped. Had his apartment always been so small? He could have sworn that it was bigger.

He turned around slowly. Stephanie was grinning at him, twirling what looked like a small plastic cylinder. Tim recognized it instantly - fancy League tech. Overrides all electronic locks and controls them. They all used it to trap perps and heighten their fear tactics. Tim jammed his thumb on the keypad. Nothing happened.

Cass glanced at Steph, and made a small motion. Tim couldn’t interpret it. Why couldn’t he interpret it? Did they have a new code? It was Cass. When nobody else had understood her, Tim always had. Now they had their own language, one that Tim couldn’t interpret anymore. Tim was lost in translation, always drifting.

“We aren’t bringing you in,” Steph said, just as light as ever. No trace of pity or caution or gentleness in her voice: just relentless cheer. “Literally all we want to do is talk. Play a board game, maybe?”

Tim’s eyes flickered to the hidden panel in the wall next to him where he had stashed a gun and a sword.

“Bro,” Steph said, “you really don’t want to escalate this.”

“Do you think you can take me?” Tim asked curiously, letting his hand drift to his arm. He shook his long pyjama sleeve down to cover his wrist. “That’s pretty cute. Last time I checked, you’re the shittiest at hand-to-hand in your team.”

But Steph just rolled her eyes. Shit, wasn’t he supposed to be ignoring her? He couldn’t, not so long as she kept pushing and pushing. Not so long as she was in his house. “Leave off. Just because Jay and I are the last people in the fam who weren’t trained in Mystical Ninja Arts doesn’t mean I’m incompetent. Hands in the air, by the way.”

Stephanie was overly sentimental. New tactic. He raised his hands slightly in the air, caught reaching for the weapon hidden in his armor. “Incompetent enough to let me die.”

There. Finally. Thank god, Tim thought he was losing his touch. The muscles clenched in Stephanie’s jaw, and just a twitch of her eye - banishing a bad memory. “Everybody’s been saying you’ve turned rude. I guess you’ve just been avoiding us because you don’t want to hurt our feelings, right?”

“I didn’t remember a lot when I was first resurrected,” Tim said casually, despite the fact that he had never told anybody about the first awful six months. Something about Steph and Cass just pried it out of him, like invasive surgery. Or an autopsy. “I remember everything about those six months, though. Homeless. Practically retarded. Brain damage does that to you, you know. I lived on the streets, did you know that? It was a miracle I lived through it.” He gasped, as if he was remembering something. “I slept on 34th street! You lived near there, didn’t you? Maybe you even walked by me.”

Steph went white. Cass’ expression froze. He was pushing hard, but these two wouldn’t react to anything less. Steph could trade barbs better than he could, even now.

“It’s a good thing Talia found me,” Tim continued. “She was the only one who cared.”

That did it. Steph tensed, leaning forward, and even Cass stiffened. “Is that what she told you? How can you believe her?”

Tim just shrugged, walking back to the kitchen and hiding his body language again. He took an extra loud slurp of the coffee, just to be annoying. “Talia never lied to me. She said that nobody cared enough to save me. And guess what!”

Steph’s jaw clenched again. She was a hot head. A fierce temper, an impulsive girl who jumped in feet first and sanity second. Woman, now. When had that happened? “Cut that shit out. We all know what you’re doing. You’ve been doing it to everyone. Did you think Connor didn’t warn us?”

Snitch. Tim slurped his coffee again. “Connor’s been telling everyone to give me space.”

“Yeah, everyone but us.” She stood up now, ignoring the flicker of a frown on Cass’ face, and folded her arms. A challenge against the world. Against Tim. It didn’t matter. “You don’t believe half the shit you’re spewing. You’ve never believed your own bullshit, Tim. You’re just saying it to drive everybody away. It’s not going to work on us.”

“Why?” Tim asked innocently. “You’re too thick?”

“Because we love you!” Steph cried. Tim rolled his eyes. As if he hadn’t heard that one before. “Saving Richie proved it, you aren’t as insane as you keep pretending you are. You know what you’re doing is wrong, you just don’t care.”

“Wow, you caught me.” Tim took another long swig of his coffee. It was making his hands jittery. Good. “Local genius aware of his actions. Call the press. Call Uncle Clark, he needs a scoop.” He arched an eyebrow at Steph. She hated that expression of his - she had always found it so aristocratic and pretentious. Joke’s on her, he was pretentious. “Do you mind if I go do a line? I’m not high enough for this conversation.”

If she had told him who she was, he would have done a line anyway just to spite her, and she knew it. “You don’t want to try,” Steph said stubbornly, “but you’re trying. You don’t want to care, but you care. You don’t want to feel it, but it hurts so much you can’t bear it. You can’t get anything past us, Tim. It’s always just been us. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

Doesn’t that mean -

“What that means,” Tim said, and he found the words scraping his throat. He found himself talking a little louder than he meant to. The coffee, you know. Made you jittery. “is that you should have saved me. If you loved me so fucking much, you would have been anything other than useless. You’ve always been the most useless girl in the world, Steph. You couldn’t save your crook of a dad or your junkie of a mom. You couldn’t save your baby and you couldn’t save me. You’re ghetto trash putting on airs, and everyone can smell it on you.”

As soon as he said it, he tensed. He shifted his stance, ready to throw the coffee and spill the scalding liquid on her. Obscure her vision. It would take a second for her to vault the cover, so he could duck down. From there he could get the gun, shoot the window, jump out the window. She couldn’t win. Tim had the most powerful weapon in the world in his disposal and that was his infinite, burning hate. His hate for Steph and Cass burned him to the ground, and his world with it, and he was going to burn them to cinders because he couldn’t do anything else.

But Steph didn’t move. Cass got off the sofa. She walked up to Steph, and gently pressed a hand on her shoulder. She squeezed. Steph exhaled, long and shaking, and nodded at Cass. She walked into Tim’s bedroom - hey! - and shut the door.

Then Cass stared at Tim, and there was no more need for words. Not between them.

Tim vaulted the cut away wall, aiming for her feet first. Cass didn’t dodge - that would imply that she moved like an object moved. She moved like water moved - swift and supple, with such infinite grace and precision that it was like she wasn’t human at all.

But he had gotten better. He didn’t spend two and half years trained by the League of Assassins in crochet. Tim lashed out with a foot, she dodged again. He threw a punch, she moved. He feinted, clearly leaving her an opening, and she didn’t take it.

Bitch.

Cass shoved away his coffee table, sending it skidding across the floor and opening the floor space. The rug became their arena, tight and intimate, no room for maneuverability. Tim acted and she reacted, Tim lashed out a sweep kick and she jumped over it, Tim tried to grapple and she broke his hold. She never threw him to the ground, never pinned him. She just moved.

She was good, but not good enough to toy with him and win completely. The way to win against Cass was to leverage your height - Tim was taller than he once was, although that wasn’t saying much - weight, and strength against her. A couple good hits and she was down.

The issue, of course, was hitting her.

He got a hit in. It was much easier when she wasn’t even fighting back. She rolled with it effortlessly, taking the impact to gain a little space between them. She breathed deeply, sweat rolling down her neck. Tim used to take a cold compress and press it to that neck. She used to smile at him. Thank you.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Cass said.

“Too bad,” Tim said.

Fights weren’t like in television, long and choreographed extended scenes to entertain and thrill. When Ro - Tim was in a fight, a real fight, it was typically finished in less than a minute. The only way that a match can get long is if the other person was deliberately tiring you out - a risky strategy - or if you were of completely equal strengths with similar fighting styles. Or if it was a spar.

As Tim tried to hit her again and again, he realized that it was a spar.

No, not even that. It was a conversation.

Tim grabbed her wrist, and said: I want you to hurt. Cass broke the hold, telling him that he can’t. Tim leveraged the motion and kneed her in the back, telling her that the only goal of this fight was pain. Cass let the impact take her down to the mat, an incredibly disadvantageous position, but rolled out of the way just as Tim tried to exploit the opportunity. I’m not scared of you. Tim hit again, and again, and again, failing every time. I want you gone, Tim said, and this is the only way I know how to do it.

This is what Tim said: as much as I once loved you, I now hate you. The infinite depths of my love, my twin sister, how we moved in perfect sync. I hate it all. As much as I cared, I now hate. Feel this hate. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Cass said.

They moved in perfect sync, even now. Cass couldn’t predict his movements before he made them, like she used to - his training was different now, developed and refined. But Cass knew the League of Assassins too, had been trained by them just as he had, and they were written into her bones when they were only carved into Tim’s. After his third patented Talia move, she adjusted to fit his style, and their fight metamorphosed into more of a dance. Like they used to.

“Why not!” Tim screamed, the stupidest possible thing to do in a fight, but Cass didn’t take advantage of his exhale. He lashed out a fist to cover the opening, but it was lazy and over-extended, and she dodged easily. “I’m going to kill you!”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

Tim desperately tried to call the green to his vision. It was so easy. All he had to do was tap into that rage. Talia had called it blood lust. Said it was normal, even good. But it wouldn’t come. Where was it? It was his only friend.

Desperately, Tim went in for another punch to the face - Cass’ jaw was the weakest part of her body, an old injury - but he over-extended again, and this time Cass took the opportunity. She grabbed his arm and pulled him forward, dropping him to the mat. She didn’t try to twist him around, instead landing him on his back. Bad move for her.

She kneed him in the chest, putting her full hundred and thirty pounds on him. She twisted his hands behind his back, pinning him, and Tim could do barely more than wheeze.

He looked at her in the eyes for the first time. They were infuriatingly calm. Her hair was tangled and clumped with sweat, but she wasn’t breathing hard. Her expression was placid and serene, as if she was watching one of her stupid fucking nature documentaries instead of pinning her brother to a hard and scratchy rug in a shithole apartment, three years after he was tortured to insanity and shot himself in the head.

So much time had passed. So much had happened, nasty and festering and putrid, and Tim had let it happen. He had made it happen. There was a rot in Tim, and it had eaten him up until there was nothing inside. If you cut him open, would it spill out? Would it infect her, infect Steph? Could he make them suffer?

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Cass repeated. “So don’t be scared.”

“Scared?! I’m not fucking -” Tim wheezed, cut off by the lack of air as Cass pressed down.

“I’m sorry you’re scared. I didn’t mean to leave you alone. But I did. I’m sorry.”

“I’m going to kill -”

Cass pressed down on his chest again, cutting him off. She had finally done the one thing nobody in Tim’s life had ever figured out: how to make him shut up. “You can be as mean to me as you want. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you. I’ll stay.”

Tim wheezed. In that, maybe, Cass heard something, because she continued as if he had spoken. Or maybe she just wanted the chance to talk. It had been stolen from her for thirteen years, and it was valuable to her.

“You do not have to be kind. You do not have to hug me, even if I want you to. You do not have to be my brother. I know it hurts too much. But you are me. I am you. You do not even have to try for that. I do not have to give it to you. You have it.”

Tim couldn’t help it. He cried a little, and then he couldn’t stop.

Cass got off him, but she kept her promise. She didn’t hug him. She just propped him up against the sofa, holding his hand, and didn’t speak. At some point the door creaked, and he felt Stephanie next to him.

This is why, Tim thought hysterically, he had been avoiding them.

He knew this would happen. There was no hiding from Cass. There was no posturing, no pretending. She didn’t want anything from him. She never had. There was nothing he could say that would drive her away, because Cass did not listen to the words people spoke. She spoke only for clarity, when she could not afford for her words to be misconstrued, and for the comfort of others.

Cass knew that he had been lying out of his ass. Cass knew that he wasn’t as insane as he pretended, as cruel as he wanted to be.

He couldn’t make Cass hate him. Shit.

None of them said anything. Nothing needed to be said, not between the three of them. Cass might be having a silent conversation in Sign with Steph, but he didn’t care enough to open his eyes and look. When they had first met, it used to make Steph so mad that Tim and Cass were having ‘secret conversations’. She had poured over her dictionaries, learning as quickly as physically possible so she could keep up. Everything Steph had, she had worked hard for.

Steph was in college now. Premed. She wanted to be an ER doctor. Steph wasn’t a genius, she had to study hard. She wouldn’t be able to superhero in med school, so she was ready to hang up her cape for a few years until she achieved her dream. Steph said that she could do just as much good as a doctor as a superhero. She hadn’t always wanted it. When they were kids and Bruce used to ask her what she wanted to do when she grew up, in his awkward faux-dad way, she had always shrugged and said that she might be a nurse.

“Why not med school?” Bruce had suggested, between sleepy spoonfuls of oatmeal. She used to spend more nights at their place than at her own. Her mom hadn’t noticed.

Steph had just shrugged awkwardly, nibbling her whole-wheat organic toast that she would stare at suspiciously. Rich people, she would say, sighing. “I would never be able to afford it. And no way I’m smart enough.”

“You’re good enough,” Bruce said, which was the closest he ever came to praising somebody. “I’ll pay for it.”

Steph had gaped. Cass had eaten her Lucky Charms smugly. Tim had rolled his eyes. “An in-the-know doctor for the vigilante community would be invaluable,” he had informed her, pretentious and callous. “We could use you.”

“You deserve it,” Cass had signed.

“You have a bright future, Stephanie,” Bruce said, buckling under the panic of being a responsible adult. “I would hate to see you waste it.”

He would hate to see any of them waste their future. He had hated to see what Tim had become. He knew that. The last time he had ever seen Bruce, it was just to disappoint him. Bruce was the only parent he had ever had, and his standards were so sky high it was impossible to do anything other than disappoint.

The fact of the matter was this: he loved Cass and Steph more than he loved Bruce. He could hate Bruce. He could hate himself. But Cass and Steph…

Bruce had ear-marked a lot of money for Steph, both for whatever continuing education she chose and for her future. It had raised a lot of questions among the lawyer team, but ultimately she had been written off as another of his strays. Tim had left her a lot of money too. There probably wasn’t any point: when she married Cass she’d have equal access to the fortune. Rich people, Stephanie used to whisper in awe, looking at organic toast.

Cass was majoring in dance. She wanted to be a ballerina.

Tim’s future...Tim’s future…

“Or we can watch a nature documentary,” Steph said out loud. “If we all promise not to say a fucking word.”

Incredibly, unmistakably, irrevocably, Tim groaned. “Not the fucking bee one again.”

“I like the bees,” Cass said serenely.

“If you aren’t going to get out of my house can I at least smoke up?” Tim asked miserably.

“I brought gummy bears,” Steph said, chipper as ever, “which are way better.”

“I’m going to the fucking bathroom,” Tim grumbled, which everybody knew was as good as a yes.

“If you take anything I’ll know,” Cass said serenely, and also threatened.

“Fuck you, bitch.”

Steph and Cass high-fived, and Tim sulked angrily to the bathroom. He took a second to look at himself in the mirror - looking for Tim Drake, failing, as always - before opening it and grabbing his baggie of pills.

He looked at it. He looked at the toilet. He looked at the baggie.

He didn’t flush them. He put them back in the medicine cabinet. Tomorrow. He’ll do them tomorrow. Not today. He can hold out for 24 hours. It’ll be fine.

For a wild, stupid, insane second, Tim wondered if he could say that tomorrow too. If tomorrow he would look at them and say: maybe tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that…

If there was a future, for a fuck-up like him.

The faint strains of Cass’ stupid fucking bee documentary began playing through the thin walls of his shitty little apartment, and Tim turned out the lights of his bathroom and closed the door, locking it securely behind him.

#i write a lot of shit i don't post and i don't feel the need to post it a lot of the time #but sometimes im like. ah yeah that does exist maybe they'll care #my writing #tim drake #batman #batfam #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #do not FUCKING get met started on tim cass and steph im OBSESSED

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angelicamerlinbarnes · 3 years

Text

TUA MEAN GIRLS AU

(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the film) (not to be misleading or anything :p)

(BEWARE: abuse, bribery, immoral deals, bullying, homophobia, outing, transphobia, violence, abortion, teen pregnancy, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Regina) Five is the king of this school, and he has no plans to give up that position. He needs it to protect his people, as few and far between as they are, and himself, if he’s honest - he’s a trans and ace-aro kid in platonic love with the health class mannequin who he calls Dolores. Ruling with fear is basically all he can do. While he’s mean, you’ll soon realize that everything he says is more of a blunt observation that will improve your life if you just heed his advice. He doesn’t respect almost anybody - not the jocks, theatre geeks, nerds, cheerleaders, band kids - no one. However, if he does respect you, you have his trust and protection. And as a thirteen-year-old genius who only takes advice from always-slightly-drunk art teacher Agnes, his protection is pretty damn valuable: the last person who tried to hurt one of his people will never walk again. Leonard Peabody - he assaulted Vanya, and he paid. Five beat him to the point of hospitalization without getting a single speck of blood or bruise on himself, and Leonard’s the one who walked away in handcuffs. Do not fuck with any of Five’s people, or you have to fuck with Five. And you do not want to fuck with Five.

(Gretchen) Vanya is quiet and subdued, to the point where people question how she’s a part of the school’s most popular trio. If you talk to her for long enough though, it becomes clear: she knows any and everybody’s secrets. She writes for the school paper, and is known to write the stories her subjects don’t want anyone else to find out about. Like Diego, who she outed as bisexual last year to throw people off the trail of her own secret relationship with Sissy, earning her an ex-girlfriend and an ex-friend. She’s been trying to win Diego’s forgiveness ever since, but he won’t talk to her, returning every single one of her letters and gifts. (He’s blocked her number and all of her socials, which she only created to talk to him anyway.) She doesn’t know why Five keeps her around - Klaus loves to gossip, but Five never seems to want any of her secrets. She’s pleasantly surprised to find out that he apparently actually enjoys her company. (What?)

(Karen) Klaus is a fucking mess. He plays the dumb blonde (well, brunette) despite being a genius in his own right, even if he’s not at Five’s level. (To be fair, he’s pretty sure no one is.) He’s a drag queen on the weekends, a hangover from his time in the mafia gang, which he joined with his boyfriend Dave for six months after running away from home. Dave died in a gunfight, and Klaus has been fucked up (well, more than usual) ever since. Anorexia, PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation, the works. But as lonely as he is, addicted to a fuckton of hard drugs and liquors to cope, he’s still an alluring, aloof, and bubbly popular girl, wearing pink skirts and glittery heels and leather corset crop tops to school every day. No matter how much his father Reginald beats him for it, he keeps being himself, because he’s brave and because even if Reginald hates him, someone far more important loves him… Diego. Diego, who Klaus has kissed under a million stars and in the lollipop shop down the road and on top of a cafeteria table. Diego, who Klaus has chased through the rain and into the street without rest or hesitation. Diego, whose words and promises and scribbles are immortalized on Klaus’ skin for all to see. Diego, who Klaus will love no matter how much bigotry they encounter or dickwads they’re beat up by or miles they put between them. Diego, Klaus’ ex-boyfriend.

(Cady) Allison is the new girl, and she has plans for the advantage being underestimated has brought her. She challenges Five on her first day there, earning his respect, and joins his group at the urgings of Klaus and Vanya, who like her company. A fashion queen, she acts as though she’s unfazed by any and everything, but nobody knows her true heartbreak - she still writes letters to a girl back home. Allison was expelled from her Christian private school for falling in love with a girl named Natalie, who she kissed in janitors’ closets and who she beat up racist and homophobic blondes for. She has no tolerance for bullies, and yet becomes one under Five’s guidance - until she upends his reign as queen bee and signs her death warrant. (Though she later finds out he was more angry at her for stealing Klaus and Vanya’s affection than his popularity.) Now her only hope for happiness in her final days is Ray, the Shakespeare-quoting nerd in her English class… or Luther, the quiet dork in the Star Trek t-shirts in her math class. Fuck, she misses Natalie.

(Aaron) Luther is the posterboard for toxic masculinity. He’s on the football team but hates it, preferring his math tutoring and fantasy books to tackling drills. His bisexuality is his deepest secret - he once slept with Diego when they were drunk at a party after a football game, and he can’t get it out of his head. He keeps thinking about what might happen if somebody found out - would he be shunned like Diego? Trapped like Vanya? Plastic like Klaus? He doesn’t know. All he can do is continue to be kind and hope Allison loves him enough to love every part of him, beyond his good lucks and British accent and fucking Ray. So Luther stands up to Five, and pays the price. He compliments Klaus on his skirts, and pays the price. (Diego seems to simultaneously love and hate him for it, it’s confusing.) He holds the door open for Ben, and pays the price. He’s big enough to be scary, kind enough to be overlooked - but after that incident with Vanya, everyone looks at him like he’s a monster to be locked up. And soon enough, “star student” Luther, “teacher’s pet” Luther, “completely under the principal’s thumb and completely friendless and completely terrified of the world around him” Luther might just break under all that pressure.

(Janis) Diego is the school’s resident outcast and rebel punk - he wears skirts and fishnets and whatever the fuck he wants because if Klaus taught him anything when they were dating it was that gender is a construct and he looks hot in leather. They broke up when Diego was outed and Klaus chose to stay quiet when people started shunning Diego for it, but despite it all, Diego still loves him. He misses when they used to paint their nails together, because he has to paint his own now. They used to stare up at the stars together and fall asleep in the grass, curled up in each other, on the nights that Klaus would run away in terror from his dad and Diego would breathe with him and let him press his hand against his heart until Klaus’ panic died down. His heart still flutters when he sees Klaus smile around a lollipop… but he won’t take him back. He won’t. He just can’t forgive him. So instead, he talks to his mom about everything. He plays soccer with his sister Eudora. He paints shit while smoking weed with his best friend Lila. He thinks of Luther being scared of him and laughs. You know, he was almost in Allison’s position freshman year - Five loved him, and so did Klaus and Vanya, but then Vanya outed him to the whole school for no reason like a day before he and Klaus were going to come out together. And now they’re all estranged, and Diego has the strangest feeling that he’s lost his family, even though his mom is the only real family he’s ever known. But maybe he’s wrong. Because Klaus keeps sending him “anonymous” letters, leaving them on the porch and spilling secrets Diego never even would’ve imagined him having. But forgiveness is still a question - that is, until one day Diego gets a letter in a different handwriting: Five’s, telling him to man the fuck up and love Klaus before he kills himself trying to tear the stars down for Diego’s own personal pleasure, and suddenly, Diego is crying on his porch in the rain, missing a slender, sassy skeleton in his arms and a pink, bruised but unbroken heart in his chest.

(Damien) Ben is everyone’s favorite, and the kindest person in the world. He used to be Klaus’ best friend, but that ended when Ben got into an accident (there was a bus involved, that’s all you need to know) that landed him in a wheelchair and Klaus couldn’t deal with the mental pain it caused him. They still stare at each other longingly from across the cafeteria, but never say a word to each other, not even in class. But beyond Klaus, Ben has never had any friends, though he has a million aquaintances: he’s the only student in the school that everyone loves and respects. Five holds the door for him, though Ben can tell without having to ask that Five would rather nobody know that. He hangs out with Diego because he knows Diego’s lonely, even if he never wants to admit it. He advises Allison not to let anyone control her, telling her he knows Natalie from summer camp and that the deaf girl still loves her and reads every single one of her letters. He gives Vanya his lunch when she skips to cry in the gym after Diego yells at her, even though a part of him might think she deserves it sometimes. He plays sports with Luther after school and offers him an ear and some jokes about his problems, and a few touchdowns when he’s feeling good. He acts as Ray’s student consultant, because he knows how hard Ray works to treat him like an equal. He tutors Eudora in basically everything, but cuts study sessions short to play video games when he can tell she’s too stressed to think. He’s ace and pan and proud about it; he runs the school’s GSA; he defends Diego and uses the right pronouns for Lila when they’re alone without Lila ever having to him he’s trans. He bugs Reginald’s office in one of their many meetings and records enough conversations to get him fired when he tries to expel Five. And finally, karma rewards him - Klaus shows up at his house with a box of brownies he baked himself, all covered in smiley faces, and shoves them into Ben’s hands, shaking his head when Ben assumes they’re for Diego. I miss you, Klaus tells him, and Ben tugs him down into a kiss, pulling away with a stammered apology. I’m sorry, he blushes, and Klaus beams, leaping into his lap and hugging him closer than ever, the two of them queerplatonic partners from then on, forever linked by their fingers in the hallway. Happy. Finally.

Lila is the shy artsy kid who carries around one of those leather brown satchels that looks threatening but is really just code for “I think I’m too cool for a backpack so I stuff all my incorrect homework and favorite comic books into this sack of knockoff pig skin instead”. He’s covered in paint most of the time, and wears Alice in Wonderland combat boots and Sharpie-doodle-covered jeans and big black hoodies and soft grey beanies; he’s trans and hacked off his own hair until an undercut with choppy slash bangs and there’s pink streaks in them, of course, to match the bubblegum he’s always chewing. His nails are bitten and black, and his skin is decorated with tattoos that are almost exclusively Bo Burnham quotes, with the exception of Diego’s name right over his heart. (Diego has Lila’s name over his too - and Klaus’ and Eudora’s, though he’d never tell them that.) He gives his skirts to Klaus and gets along well enough with Five, them both being trans and all, and everyone else knows him as that kid who’ll spread rumors and steal things for bribes. It’s not like he can get in more trouble than he’s already in - he lives with his bigoted and abusive bitch of a mom. But Diego is his best friend - the one he shoots and stabs things with, the one whose ex-boyfriend he talks to because Diego will never admit to himself that he misses Klaus like he would his own lungs if they were torn from his chest, the one whose sister he’s in love with. Wait. Fuck. Oops.

Eudora is Diego’s sister, and the captain of the soccer team. She wears her red jersey with the white numbers to school every day, and is covered in tattoos of magical creatures, because she believes in all of them. She wishes she was a werewolf, and has dressed up as one every year for Halloween since she was ten. (And she’s let anyone dressed a werewolf give her a hickey just in case that turned her. It’s good to have all your bases covered.) She has a broken down pick-up truck named Travis-Trevor-Thomas-literally-any-other-T-name that she loves beyond belief, and drives Diego to and from school in it, though he grumbles about it every day. She eats lunch with him even though he insists he’s fine eating alone and wants her to go away, because she knows he’s lying, and she hangs around the GSA with him sometimes too. She’s lab partners with her brother’s “secret” ex-boyfriend, and is concerned by how quiet he is - she’s seen enough documetaries to know that quiet never means anything good. But unfortunately, she has her own academic drama to deal with - Hazel and Cha-Cha hate her for helping Klaus, and she hates them right back, leading to failing grades in both English and history no matter how brilliant her work is. Mostly, though, Eudora tries to get to know Lila - the pretty, angry, sarcastic emo boy she shares half her classes with, and flirts with every day despite how he ignores her. (ONLY because Lila still smiles and laughs every time she flirts with him, and Eudora knows from Diego that Lila thinks Eudora only flirts with him because it’s some sort of game of “if you get the guy who’s hard to get you win the hundred dollar bet” deal. Otherwise she would’ve backed off immediately because not doing so would be harassment.) Eventually, though, Eudora runs off-field in the middle of a soccer game and over to the stands to ask Lila to prom. Finally, she gets a yes - and, most importantly, a real smile, curled against her own mouth like a Cupid’s bow of promise.

Sissy is Vanya’s ex-girlfriend, and Fuckwad Carl’s current girlfriend. She hooked up with him after breaking up with Vanya, too drunk to even speak, and now her belly’s ballooning and her parents are gonna kick her out unless she marries him like a good Christian woman. And she really didn’t expect herself to tell them to fuck off for this one, but apparently lesbianism makes you do crazy things - so here she is, standing on Ray’s porch in the pouring rain and hoping for the best. She’s depressed and shows that by reading the Bronte sisters; Klaus opens the door for her and brings her notes with doodles all over them which makes her cry; she misses Vanya but hates her for what she did to Diego. And yet Vanya’s there when she goes to the abortion clinic, smiling and joking and holding her hand like always. One day she’ll have a baby and she and Vanya will raise it right, but fuck - that baby sure as hell won’t be Carl’s. (Because fuck that guy.)

Ray is a humanitarian, so, naturally, he’s also the student council president. Five has never mistreated him, because everyone loves and respects Ray, even his critics. He nurtures Allison’s intelligence and encourages Vanya’s musical habits. He tutors Klaus in basically every subject but never talks down to him because he knows the kid’s a genius, just a bit spacey from all the drugs (and the ADHD, let’s be honest). He helps bring Luther out of his shell and takes Lila out shopping for boy clothes, all of which he pays for himself. He’s not scared or offended by Diego’s sarcasm or intensity, instead greeting him every day in class with a new dad joke. He treats Ben to intelligent conversation like an equal and doesn’t let Five be so harsh he’ll regret it later, though he still lets him say what he means and be himself. Everybody knows he’ll be the real President one day - even if for now he wears pajamas to school every day because, in his words, “Clothes are just too much fuckin’ work, man.” (There’s a possibility he may have still been high from hanging out with Klaus that day.)

The Handler is the evil physics teacher. (I don’t know why I said evil clearly all science teachers are evil.) (Yes this is coming from a place of aggression but hey at least I recognize that.) (Plus he deserves it. So fuck you.) (*sticks tongue out*) (Don’t you see how mature I am?) (I’m sorry I’m sorry back to your regularly scheduled programming -) She’s Lila’s mom, and continually and constantly misgenders him (and Five!) in class, not even because she hates trans people, just because she hates him (and Five!). Five always challenges her dictatorial rule, refusing to participate in solidarity with Klaus when she forces Klaus to sit out for wearing skirts. She keeps trying to flunk Ray too, the little bitch, but he just keeps doing so well that she can’t even come up with a falsely plausible reason to fail him! She’s been bribing Hazel and Cha-Cha to flunk certain students for years, unaware that Lila has been stealing from the Handler’s own purse to double those prices for those students to ace their classes. Everybody hates her, and for good reason. I hope she gets fired. (Shut up and let me project onto fictional characters, assholes.)

Reginald is the evil principal and Klaus’ abusive dad. He sends Klaus to school every day in a boys’ “uniform”, which Klaus has to change out of in the bathroom every day with borrowed clothes from Allison. (Anything he owns lives at her house; they have an agreement.) Once Klaus forgot to wash off his nail polish before Reginald came home and he broke all of Klaus’ fingers one by one. (Agnes wants to beat him into dust with a rolling pin.) Klaus stays at Diego’s house a lot, though Klaus refuses to come after they break up even though Diego makes it clear that his door will always be open. Five, therefore, is super protective of Klaus - every time he comes over, he’s super respectful when Klaus is in the room and then verbally rips Reginald to shreds as soon as he’s gone. He once stayed over for an impromptu sleepover when he noticed that Klaus was terrified-ly coming up with more and more ridiculous excuses for Five to stay and not leave him alone with Reginald, and as soon as Klaus was asleep, tiptoed around the house to set up bugs and cameras he got from Ben. He gives all of the evidence to Eudora to deliver to the police, who arrest Reginald and leave him to rot in a cement cell for the rest of his sorry fucking life while Klaus goes on to live Happily Ever After because fuck you and your stupid as shit traditionalism and inhumane experiments you lying scheming fuckwad of a psychopathic monster toad.

Hazel is the exhausted English teacher. His secret? He hates every book he teaches. Also he’s been taking bribes from the Handler and Lila because teachers don’t get paid enough in our society. Also his wife Agnes of twenty years divorced him a year ago for the whole bribery situation and he’s been sleeping in his car and using the school’s facilities to appear fine. Yeah, Hazel’s a mess. ANYWAY - Five is the only one who seems to know what’s going on, and Hazel would like to keep it that way. He knows Klaus is a genius with words but doesn’t know how to tell him that, and he knows Diego’s favorite book is Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen and has agreed to take that secret to his grave. (What, it’s a good book!) His class is the only place Diego and Klaus dare to interact, and he’s noticed - they often pair up for assignments and take to the floor or beanbags in the corner, often cuddling up and giggling over whatever book or assignment they’ve been sent off to read or do. Hazel also has another hopeless couple he teaches, Lila and Eudora - eventually Hazel starts leaving Lila’s sappy poems about Eudora on Eudora’s desk when she comes in for her own class (separate from Lila’s) because there is no other way those two idiots are getting together, let’s be honest. There’s just too much communication. Mostly Hazel misses his own wife, Agnes - but he’s been out of luck since he cashed it in with the science department, hot cocoa whore that he is.

Cha-Cha is the history teacher, and she has all the sass and dry sarcasm required for that job. She will beat a bitch up for telling her she can’t teach critical race theory, and plays Drunk History and Overly Sarcastic Productions in her class basically every day. She doesn’t believe in tests because if she did she’d have to grade them, and she likes animated kids’ movies and TV shows, especially Paw Patrol and Sofia the First. (Yes, obviously she’s single. She’s also ace-aro, so who the fuck cares.) She takes the Handler and Lila’s bribes because she runs an underground wrestling ring and would like to continue feeding her pitbulls gourmet food. The only kid she’s truly on edge with is Five, who often challenges her in debates - she can’t decide if she’s impressed or enraged about it. Whatever. School’s out, bitches.

Agnes is the art teacher who knows everything about everybody. All of her art is of donuts. (Of course.) She’s a damn good cook, especially of pizza - and donuts. (Naturally.) She always has munchkins available for her students - and donuts! (She always saves the chocolate glazed and jelly ones for Five and Klaus.) She likes to rap explicit beats in her car and play her music so loud it shakes the ground and you can hear it from miles away. (Obnoxious.) So she doesn’t restrict her kids’ projects because that’s not what art is about. (And because it would make her a hypocrite, obviously.) Sure, she divorced Hazel, but hey - she’s living her best life, and eventually he’ll come to his senses and come crawling back to her at three a.m. to badly lipsync a Justin Bieber song about missing her, and she’ll leap out the window into his giant hairy arms and kiss him on his ginormous teddy bear face. Because Agnes, at heart, is a hippy. (And that’s love, bitch.)

Grace is Diego and Eudora’s (and everybody’s!) mom. She goes out for drinks with Agnes on the weekends and to clubs with Pogo every Friday (the librarian/unofficial therapist who acts as her mouthpiece when Diego does something stupid and won’t listen to her advice, the moron). She’s kind to everyone, but takes no one’s bullshit: you hurt her kids, you die. Important Notice: Everybody Is Her Kid. So be kind to everyone, dickwads. Well - except Reginald. And the Handler. Both of whom she bitchslaps for mistreating her precious babies. She then takes in Klaus because Diego loves him, and Ben because Klaus loves him, and Lila because both Diego ad Eudora love him. The only reason she didn’t take in Sissy was because Ray already had her taken care of. She’s a literal angel sent from heaven and we should all be worshipping her like the goddess she is I’m sorry I don’t know when this became Grace Appreciation Day™ but hey I’m here for it and I have no regrets.

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orsuliya · 3 years

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Since you do such detailed asks and give a well thought out answers, I want to know your opinion on the Ma brothers. Zilong, Zilu and Zitan. What do you think about them?

Ah, our three intrepid Ma princes... Wait a minute, why three? It's not like we're in a fairytale and while Zitan is certainly a fool, he's not nearly good-hearted enough to play the role of Ivan the Fool.

But seriously, it seems mightily suspicious of Daddy Emperor to sire three sons in quick succession and then, as far as we know, never ever procreate again. He's an Emperor and obviously fertile, so how come the imperial nursery remains so glaringly empty? Could it be that he has no concubines at all except for his beloved Xie Guifei?

Or... has the Empress been aborting babies left and right, and poisoning her way through swathes of women to boot? Not impossible, knowing her temperament, but it doesn't really make sense within the dynamic presented in the drama. Drama!Emperor hates, hates, hates the Wangs and especially his wife, so it's hard to believe he wouldn't have used this juicy tidbit to weaken their influence. In the book Wanru is allowed to run roughshod over Potato's concubines and feed them contraceptives willy-nilly, but that's because Potato doesn't really care. The Emperor, as we see him in the drama, would have found reason enough to care upon being given such an obvious opening to start a smear campaign against his favourite enemy. Stymying the imperial bloodline?! Why, I think it might be a crime and easily provable one at that!

This leaves the other option - perhaps there aren't any concubines in the palace or, if there are, they're not being, pardon my French, bred. It's not that multiple imperial concubines of lower rank aren't a thing in this universe - Potato gets at least two and possibly more after sitting on the throne for a relatively short time. It's a pity we don't know what's the policy on entering the palace. Is there a multi-stage selection process? There is certainly no indication of that! Xie Guifei might have been an attempt to balance out a Wang Empress, Seagull was Zitan's impromptu choice, Miss Screecher was meant to be chosen by Potato outside of any organized selection and the same could be true for Potato's other concubines. Our only outlier might be Zilu's Mom and even then it's rather doubtful she was ever processed properly as it would have required a lot of effort and luck to conceal an already existing pregnancy. No, Zilu's Mom was most probably a gift of 'peace' from one brother to another.

My guess as to what Daddy Emperor is thinking? If Zitan has been his preferred heir from the start and he very well might have been since it never had anything to do with Zitan's actual qualities, then it's possible that he simply didn't protest - or did so in a purely symbolic manner - when the Wangs started limiting his reproductive chances. Why breed competition? We already know he has no use for any sons lacking powerful backing of their maternal clans, see: his treatment of Zilu. And any son with such backing would be a direct threat to his favourite, not to mention a potential upset to the carefully maitained Wang-Ma-Xie balance.

...or it could be that Daddy Emperor really loved Xie Guifei and wanted no other. Seeing as he's strongly implied to spend his nights in her chambers twenty years after their only and last kid was born, this would make a staggering amount of sense. The same principle applies - he'd still not protest Wang tyranny over the inner courts, only he'd do it for Xie Guifei and not for Zitan. It does seem to fit with Daddy Emperor's general mindset. Let the others do open battle and exert all that effort, he'll just sit there, look sage and reap the benefits!

After this rather senseless and overly long prelude, let's finally get to answering your question. Mind you, those are not going to be organized, thoughtful opinions, just my subjective impressions on each and every Ma Prince.

His Imperial Spudness Ma Zilong

The not-so-little Potato that could not, but still tried! Let's start with the elephant in the room, namely his rapist tendencies or the lack thereof. See, I'm convinced that raping Awu wasn't actually in the cards, at least as far as Potato was concerned. Compromising her, sure, just lure her into an emptied palace and cry wolf. Outright raping her, no, if only because Potato is way, way too weak and soft to execute a plan this ruthless in its entirety. Besides, harming Awu to this extent would be risky as all hell and sure to provoke authentic wrath in both Daddy Emperor and Daddy Wang. The Empress is not stupid enough to give her husband the perfect excuse to do away with her son nor to alienate her main supporter in the same move. Even if she was able to force a marriage in the first place, Potato would be pretty much done for politically unless both Daddies suddenly dropped dead. The most she would be able to get would be a grandson in a privileged position, so she'd be back to square one, only with one more female to share power with. No, what Potato did and what Wanru suffered was mostly courtesy of Zilu's suspicious drugs. Not to say Potato isn't a rapist all the same, but I'd argue for diminished capacity.

As for Potato himself in his shining spuddy glory, I truly pity the man. From time to time we see glimpses of the ruler he could have become and whom he still tries to be, and it becomes clear that there was something there worth cultivating. The problem is that nobody could be bothered to even try. Daddy Emperor certainly didn't, leaving Potato pretty much to his own devices and believe me, it had nothing to do with his talents or the lack thereof. Do you remember that lovely family scene at the beginning of episode 1.? You know, the one where Awu, Zilu and Zitan lure Zilong into a trap and then leave him there to lie amidst icy rocks in the middle of winter? He could have easily hit his head and died right then and there. Or get pneumonia and die a little bit later. Does the Emperor care? No, not at all! Baby!Awu isn't that good of a liar, but even if she was, perhaps it would behoove him to actually investigate. Not from any kind of fatherly feeling, let's not expect miracles, but perhaps from political expediency? Yeah, no. And I doubt that was the only incident of this kind. Potato must have known even this early on that his father doesn't care for him, not even like an Emperor should for his eldest male scion. Moreover, there is no way Mommy Dearest wouldn't harp on about the Emperor's negligence in private, further affirming this awful truth in Potato's mind.

Mommy Dearest might care, but her care is no less toxic than Daddy Emperor's open negligence. Potato is her key to power, her only way to win the game of thrones and make all her sacrifices worthwhile... and this is exactly how she treats him. Oh, she loves him well enough as her son, clings to him in his role as Crown Prince and then Emperor, but she doesn't actually like him as a person. And oh boy, does it show! I get it, he's not this perfect shining prince that would justify her long years of suffering, but then I have this feeling she gave up on him the moment he showed himself to be perfectly average. Sure, she offers him (toxic) love and (conditional) support like nobody's business, but there's always this nasty undertone in their relationship. Mommy knows best, don't even try to think on your own, listen to me and only me. It's no wonder that Potato thinks he's perfectly useless and doesn't bother to try and better himself, if he knows that even his own mother sees him as a perfect nincompoop. Uncle Wang's open derision isn't helpful either!

And yet Potato is, deep down, a decent enough man. Better than the average Ma, I'd say. I mean, he has some scruples! They might be really, really tiny, but they're there, even as he's being subjected to a barrage of mental attacks from both his mother and his wife. Why, given proper support and a competent cabinet, he'd make a somewhat ineffective, but decent enough ruler, his handling of the flood crisis shows us this much. Potato's best quality is that he really tries. Oh, he fails, but he's no Zitan, content to sit in his room and mope while the country goes to hell. When it's important, he can make actual decisions! Which he may then go back on (or not), but it still counts. Also, he's not petty. Like, at all. He'd like nothing better than for everybody to get along and have lots and lots of plump babies. Even his decision to do away with Xiao Qi is not motivated by jealousy, no matter how hard Wanru and Mommy Dearest keep pressing on that particular button.

Is he childish? Yes. But then, he's never been given any real responsibility and for years and years languished under the care of a helicopter parent who never forced him to man up nor face actual reality, hence his disillusionment with Wanru, once she stops being this perfect smiling automaton. Is he selfish? Oh yes and it shows nowhere better than in his last will. But even so, such selfishness is pretty much par for the course when it comes to the Mas and at least Potato didn't wreck a country for the sake of personal spite, which puts him way ahead of his father, uncle Jianning and bro Zitan. And perhaps even cousin Zilu, who cared less for the country than for Huanmi.

At the end of the day, our humble root vegetable is a tragic figure. I can't help but pity him every time we see him bloom under somebody's attention. Give that man some respect and he'll pay you back with the same, weird comments about killing you nothwithstanding. And he did give us Miracle Baby, Our Lord and Saviour!

Our beloved Groomzilla, Ma Zilu

Daddy Emperor must have been stupid, high, blind or all of those in order to let Zilu and his beautiful brain slip through his fingers. He was right there, that defenseless, motherless boy and ripe for the taking too! If after years and years of being neglected and treated as an afterthought, after suffering an obvious slight of losing his love on Daddy Wang's say-so, after being allowed to supposedly run wild with no attempt at parental intervention... If after all this Zilu still craved his father's approval in whatever form he could get it, craved it so much that he allowed himself to be led into an obvious trap, then what kind of loyalty might he have offered, had somebody bothered to nurture him properly?

And it's not like his talents were easy to sweep under the rug. It's not until after he's an adult that Zilu takes up the pretense of being a never-do-well; during his adolescence he was still giving it his all, hoping in vain that his father might notice and offer him some sweet, sweet parental validation. Alas. The lack of powerful backing from his maternal family is an obstacle, but not if one actively tries to fight against consort kin clans and their influence. Or is it only the Wangs who are the enemy? Must be so, otherwise why the hell would one not see Zilu's relative independence as his greatest asset? You don't even have to make him Crown Prince to use him; just instill some sense of pride and validation, feed his need for attention and put him behind Zitan's throne. Okay, maybe don't do that last thing, deadly brotherly competition being a whole thing in palace environments, but still, use him! But no, Huanmi remained the only person to actually see and appreciate Zilu for what he was. Is it any wonder he was so absolutely loyal to her that even when it looked like she had attacked him with lethal intent, he still cared about her safety most of all?

And is it any wonder that he expedited his considerable will and brainpower solely for her benefit? I was absolutely floored when I realized that becoming an Emperor wasn't actually his ultimate goal - marrying Huanmi in the biggest, reddest wedding possible was! Even if he needed to drag the more august guests in at swordpoint. Not to say he didn't want to take the throne for his own sake; he absolutely did, but only as far as it served as a big fat fuck you to every person who kept dismissing him out of hand, so basically every person other than Huanmi. Taking the crown was a power fantasy, an idee-fixe of sorts, but for all that keeping a throne in one's basement can be seen as somewhat peculiar, there are very few - if any - signs of actual delusion in Zilu's actions. The throne is not a goal in itself, merely a way to achieve his primary goal, which is to marry the woman he loves, take revenge for Huanmi's sake as much as his own and build a life worthy of her. She's his Empress and by gods, she's going to be the real deal soon enough, no more cosplaying in private villas, however nice it might be!

Ma Zitan, the one and only Master of Mope

With every Ma Prince I become more and more convinced that there was something seriously wrong with Daddy Emperor's brain. Neglecting Potato makes some sense within the greater political picture, letting Zilu lie fallow is the height of foolishness, yet it's more a matter of criminal inaction than actively doing something wrong, but Zitan? Oh, there is no excuse for the way Daddy Emperor chose to deal with Zitan. If the Third Prince was truly his intended heir from the start and there is little reason to believe otherwise - if Wangs are to go then Potato is done for, Zilu was never even considered and Zitan remains the favourite long after showing his complete uselessness - why not try to prepare him for his future role? True, doing so openly might provoke the Wangs, but it's not like there aren't any ways to present such ruler lessons as something else, even a punishment. But no, let's just hope he turns out okay all by himself!

Now, logically reasoning, if Zitan was Daddy Emperor’s favourite and the prince he originally wanted as his heir, then Zitan should be given all possible help, right? So why wasn’t he taught any actual skills, whether in governance or in military matters? The thing is… they might have tried. In episode 61, when Zitan asks his faithful pair of retainers if he would be able to best Xiao Qi, their first answer is not that he’s the Emperor so it’s a given. Well, that too, but the first, immediate response? You studied the art of war. Which, okay, might be a reasonable guess when it comes to any prince, but those retainers are rather young and only recently-promoted. Before their soujourn at the Imperial Mausoleum they probably served somewhere within the wider imperial household, but not close enough to any great personage to be knowledgeable about what the princes might or might not have studied. Also, that answer, should Zitan’s lessons be limited to his early childhood, would make them look like idiots or bootlickers of the worst sort. But let’s say that Zitan actually studied the art of war and did so longer than his brothers. Or, alternatively, with more famous masters. That would naturally be a subject of some talk, if only within the imperial household itself. If so, then the female retainer, who seems rather astute in general, gave the best answer she could give.

Okay, so maybe somebody actually tried to help Zitan along. It still failed. Zitan at twenty or so is singularily useless and strangely unambitious, and no, calligraphy doesn't count as useful, not if one is an imperial prince and Emperor-to-be!

It's not Zitan's uselessness or even his refusal to feel any kind of reponsibility for his own people (as shown in the Huizhou arc) I have the most issue with. Although the latter is simply disgusting. And... really, really short-sighted. If Huizhou falls, as it surely must, Jianning and Co. get a clear way to the capital, leaving Xiao Qi to play deadly catch-up. Which means that Zitan's family is pretty much done for. Now, he might not care about Potato and Zilu, but surely he should feel something towards his father? Some filial piety, if not actual love? But no, screw the people of Huizhou and screw Daddy Emperor. Still, does he think that Jianning wouldn't pursue him to the ends of the earth in order to eradicate a potential claimant?

No, what really angers me is the way Zitan treats the women he claims to hold dear. And I'm not even speaking of Awu, although it's rather obvious that he cares little for her internality and rather more than is healthy for his idealized image of her. Xie Guifei dies for him, which is not his fault in the least... or is it? See, I'm pretty sure that Zitan's insistence on marrying Awu despite his mother's reservations was what provoked the Wangs to take certain... steps. Provoking a power struggle is all fine and good, if you're at least somewhat prepared for the consequences. Zitan is no fifteen year old well-bred young lady, he's an imperial prince right in the middle of a delicate balance of power, how the hell does he not know or care about possible ramifications? Naivety is theoretically not a crime, but that surely is criminal naivety. Which begs the question - how hard was that boy coddled by his mother? My guess is a lot. But Xie Guifei is but a trifle compared to the elephant in the room.

Xie Wanru. Xie Wanru, who supported Zitan as much as she could while being in a precarious situation herself. And whom he had no problems with asking for further support, going as far as to aim for the throne, disregarding her own and her children's potential interests. Xie Wanru, who didn't make the first move, even knowing Zitan to be a potential threat to her and hers. Xie Wanru, whose baby got a full portion of avuncular love in form of actual torture and was lucky to get away with his life. Xie Wanru, his sister, whose ghost must have screeched with fury upon hearing Zitan laud himself as this paragon of brotherly feelings in comparison to the well-intentioned Turnip.

Oh, and he just sat there like an offended child while the country kept sliding into chaos, simply because some evil old men didn't let him kill Cheng's entire army with his sheer incompetence. Those dastardly old bastards! Let them scramble around and let the people in the provinces keep dying; they all deserve this for not recognizing Zitan's awesomeness! I'm not saying he should have fixed everything. I'm saying he should have done the bare minimum. He killed a brother for that throne, now he should actually do something with it. Other than purposefully provoking the only guy who actually restored peace and stability simply because the man happens to be married to Zitan's first love.

I'm sorry, I cannot with Zitan. There's a lot more to be said about that twerp, much of which has already been said, but at this point refraining from plowing on it's a matter of mental hygiene.

#ask and answer #the rebel princess #no but seriously how come there are no other Ma scions in the main line #is Daddy Emperor overly careful after his own experiences with his brothers?#could be could be #Zitan oh so pretty and oh so useless #and that was the last ask in my inbox!#I can hardly believe it

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lewis-winters · 3 years

Text

(gif by @lyselkatzfandomluvs)

oh? me? writing about single dad!lewis who is a disaster human being but a good dad to a precocious little girl named Bea who adores him but at the same time thinks her daddy is the silliest person to ever exist?

you bet your ASS i am.

anyway, here have this headcanon list:

Bea is Lew's little girl from a one night stand. her mom didn't want to abort, but she didn't want to keep her, either. Lew considered putting her up for adoption, but the second the doctors let him hold her he knew that that just wasn't an option.

at that point, Lew never really knew what love was. not really. but looking down at that lil bundle in his arms that resembled more a bean than human, he decided then and there that that is exactly what true love feels like.

Bea is AMAB and has always known she was a girl. Lew always indulged her, especially when she finally learned how to talk and walk and have opinions. if Bea said she wanted to wear a dress or play with dolls or grow out her hair, he'd let her and he'd sass down anybody that let her feel like she couldn't. bc of that, Bea never thought that she was anything but a girl for ages.

i mean, the only thing she truly hated was her name. bc it was a boy's name and was therefore very ugly.

when she was four, she told Lew and everybody that would listen that she wanted to be called Beatrix-with-an-X instead of the name they gave her. she heard it on tv one day and loved it so much, she just decided to use it and that was that.

I wouldn't say Lew didn't have his moments of crisis over it-- he had a whole paradigm shift, and he definitely had to read up some stuff and talk to people, but he never let Bea know it. that's his baby girl. and he loves her. he'd never forgive himself if he'd ever let her feel otherwise.

he calls her BumbleBea on a regular basis, but in his head and when referring to her to anybody else, he calls her Little Miss Nixon

occassionally Little Miss Hypochondriac if she's being particularly fussy that day

bc Bea is VERY fussy

she's under the belief that her daddy doesn't take care of himself very much. she is right. Lew does not like to admit it.

she prepares his vitamins and reminds him to drink water and eat his veggies

they take care of each other a lot

Lew makes sure Bea does her homework and is polite and gets dressed real nice and is making the right friends

Bea makes sure Lew remembers to brush his teeth or eat breakfast or drink water or dress up warm during the winter

their little mantra in the morning is--

Lew: Be good, but if you need to be bad--

Bea: Don't get caught!

Bea also understands sarcasm a bit too well for a baby child

Lew says it's the natural Nixon gene. Blanche says it's bc Bea spends way too much time with Lew.

Bea calls Lew two things: Daddy, on the regular, and Dada when she wants to be cuddled or carried or held or comforted

Lew has NO idea why she does, but every time he hears her call him Dada while holding out her arms in a silent request to be picked up, he melts into a puddle

George, Lew's old college buddy and Bea's godfather, and Blanche are her regular babysitters. she loves them both so much but she definitely loves Blanche more because when she's with Aunt Blanche she gets presents

George treats her like a mini adult, which just kinda reinforces why she's so fluent in sarcasm to begin with or why she's half as mischievous as she is.

Bea is a morning person. Lew is a night owl. when Bea was a baby, this was definitely a problem, bc she'd have Lew running to her side at 3 am, so much so that he just moved her bassinet to his room and then just little by little let her migrate to his bed and let her serve as his alarm clock.

but when she started to walk and talk and become big enough to do things on her own, they've come up with a system where she'd get up, try her best to make Lew coffee, then wake him up with kisses

the coffee is never good but Lew swallows it down anyway

Lew is very good at braiding hair for some reason

Bea always did say that her Daddy is fit to be a stay at home husband bc he keeps track of their household stuff better than his at work stuff

Lew doesnt work at the plant-- Stanhope didn't like the name Beatrix, let's just say. Lewis told him to go fuck himself. thankfully before doing that, he saved enough money to sustain him and Bea until he could find a job. also, he has a group of very good friends and an amazing sister who stuck by him and Bea, so really, leaving Nixon behind to get a fresh new start in New York with his baby girl was the best decision he has ever made

(Lew always says Bea saved him somehow-- taking care of another human being helped him learn, little by little, how to take care of himself. how to function. he wants to be a better man for Bea, wants to be able to be somebody she's proud of. and by wanting that and doing everything to be that, he's managed to heal himself. day by day. it hasn't been easy. but it has been worth it.)

(he still drinks, though. but never in front of Bea. and never more than a glass. he can't afford to go down that road right now. not with Bea.)

Bea meets Dick first. she's seven years old in a brand new school being run by her dad's college friend and her godmother, Kitty and Dick, fresh from his last tour in Iraq, is there to visit Kitty's boyfriend and fellow teacher, Harry, who is his old college buddy.

Bea likes Mr Winters very much and talks about him to Lew when she gets home

Dick, of course, is easily charmed by this precocious lil girl with an inquisitive nature and an oddly dry sense of humor. He's planning on getting a job in the school's administrative branch so he's there quite a lot. Bea always stops to talk to him, and he never fails to humor her. He rather enjoys her company.

Lew, otoh, is getting very jealous

all Bea can talk about is Mr Winters said this and Mr Winter said that and ooohhh did you know Mr Winters was a soldier? that's pretty cool

Lew has a 9-5 desk job. Bea doesn't think that's very cool.

bc of this, Lew does not like this Mr Winters on principle

All of Bea's godparents (George, Kitty, Lip, and Ron) and her Aunt Blanche think this is hilarious

Everytime Lew sees them, he grumbles about Mr Winters. This, of course, drives Kitty to find a way to introduce them.

so, during during the Parent Teacher Conference, Lew meets Dick. and he finds he does like Mr Winters after all. he likes Mr Winters a lot.

Dick, otoh, sees Bea light up and run into Lew's open arms, giggling when Lew peppers her face with kisses and raspberries, and immediately knows he is very much In Trouble.

Bea, being perceptive as she is, picks up on their mutual crushes on each other and thinks they're meant to be (she's right, of course) and immediately starts trying to push them together.

Bea: Mr Winters, do you like bad boys?

Dick, who most definitely has always had a thing for dark haired, rakish characters with hearts of gold and is also blushing very hard: Uh... sure I do

Bea: Great. Because my daddy is bad at everything.

it becomes Bea's mission to get her daddy and Mr Winters together

she doesn't have a plan for it. she just waits to throw them at each other at every opportunity until something happens.

she's very determined. Lew would stop and admire her ambition if only he wasn't busy fumbling into this new relationship with Dick while also doing his best to be a good dad.

and it's all very cute and fluffy and nothing bad ever happens ever bc this is my au, gdi, and i'm allowed to be as indulgent as i want, thank you.

#band of brothers #winnix #bob aus #bob hcs #long post #beatrix nixon

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timextoxhajima · 4 years

Audio

Playlist Feels

*SHORT SERIES

Member: *falls off his chair* juyeon

Genre: BIG ANGST + drama with chaebol/lawyer juyeon

A/N: i may or may not fucking cry writing this. on the account that this is the last chapter, it might be a little long, so i apologise for that. i wanted to cap it at 10 chapters, but i overshot and decided to pull it to 11 in honor of 11 boys :”) i started following tbz only after hwall left, but i know the pains of losing a member along the way. (exo/suju/shinee/fx you name it). if you cry, i’ll totally take it as a compliment. it means i’ve truly found my place as a writer, and it’s to break hearts.

Links to other parts:

I Never Wanna See You Again

Frustrated (light smut)

Love Somebody (light smut)

Play With Fire (smut)

Stigma

Bourbon

Highway To Heaven (smut)

I Like Me Better

All Time Low

Falling

~ (final)

“life has a way of putting you in places you were meant to be.”

chanhee: it’s only been two weeks since you found out

chanhee: are you sure about this?

you hesitate before you punch in a reply. the cold air of the hotel room was making the hairs on your arms stand, despite being in a long-sleeved turtleneck and leggings. eyes travelling up to the mirror and meet the ones of your reflection. you turn to the side and scan your abdomen, not sure if you were looking at the baby bump or your breakfast from this morning.

you: yeah, i’m sure.

the receptionist at the counter was the same lady who discharged you two weeks ago, now with the knowledge that you were here for an abortion.

the staff gets you changed into your hospital gown and let you wait in a ward similar to the one you were in previously. you tried to discourage them from giving you the most expensive ward in the building, but knowing that your father was big-shot deterred them from listening to you.

you were worried the ward was going to be filled with baby magazines or something, but the lack of anything relieved you. your operation was scheduled to be in three hours, so you spent most of it watching television and bawling your eyes out over marley dying in ‘marley and me’.

dragging the already soaked tissue across your eyebags, you look down and berate your tummy quietly. “it’s because of you i cry so easily now.”

you pout, letting the movie dehydrate you even more by making you whimper in your own bed. this was the only reason why you were comfortable in your own ward. it would’ve been too embarrassing to let anybody else see you bawl like this, especially when you’re not one to cry easily.

you’ve spent the last two weeks walking around amsterdam with the weight of the world off your shoulders. though you were carrying a child, but being alone and away from everybody you knew was so liberating.

the mass in your abdomen had forced you to go through some shitty cramps, and it’s slowed you down in many of your trips out of the city to go sightseeing. but because of that, you spent more time admiring the views and the scent of the air, people asked you if you were okay despite not knowing who you were. it was so strange to have dogs coming up to you and sniffing you, paws landing on your thighs and their snouts around your stomach despite your efforts to keep it hidden.

you don’t think twice until the owner looks at you with a smile and asks “how far along are you?”

chanhee called you every night for the last two weeks, constantly checking up on you and never really asking about your decision, knowing that you needed the space to think. so when you told him what you wanted to do, he simply offered his understanding and support.

your father was nowhere to be seen and your mother hasn’t contacted you since, so you could only guess that your father took your advice and told her to keep her nose out of it.

you found it funny at the possibility that she might think this entire situation was her fault, especially after meeting juyeon’s mother. there was guilt for believing that she might be blaming herself, and that’s why she isn’t bothering to contact you, but the satisfaction in having her keep her nose out of your life was overwhelming.

knock knock

“come in!” you say a little too enthusiastically, and the nurse pushes the door open.

“it’s time for your operation.”

you give it time for the words to dissolve into your blood. the expectation was there, but hearing it for yourself felt like you were stepping into another world.

the lights and ceiling were alternating between themselves in your vision as you were wheeled along the hallway. your fingers were anxiously folding the material of the blanket over and over again, pressing it down with so much strength that when you released it, the folds remained.

you close your eyes and take in a deep breath, and the sight and scent of the water you remember from sightseeing around amsterdam brings you back to the little bus rides you took home.

the gentle lapping of the water against the post by the lake at home and the river banks here. the silhouettes of the birds and people that cover you for split seconds as they flit past you. horizons of the water body disappearing beyond your vision. the gentle breeze combing through your hair.

“later when you’re in the theatre, they’ll be giving you some anaesthesia--”

“wait.”

your focus travels up to look at the nurses, and you find your hands clutching your stomach. they look at you with eyes that you were sure they were used to, and they stop pushing the mattress.

“i’m sorry,” you sit up, gulping as your mind struggles to piece your thoughts and actions together. “i don’t think i can do it.”

the nurses exchange glances and one of them nods at you.

“alright. we’ll bring you back to the ward. we’ll get someone to let you fill up an administration form and after that they’ll discharge you.”

your heart was strangely calm the entire time. from the moment you left the hospital up till this very moment, and you were in kind wonder with yourself.

had you already known this was going to happen?

had you already known you were going to keep it?

even if you did, it doesn’t explain how calm you were when you decided to abort it. neither does it explain how calm you are when you just said you wanted to keep it.

“i’m sorry for the trouble,” you sit up in the bed as to nurses take off, leaving two with you.

“no, it’s alright. many women struggle with unplanned pregnancies, we just hope you’re doing what’s best for yourself.”

a weak smile spreads across your lips and the nurse helps you off the bed. someone pushes it away and the two nurses start walking you back to your ward.

the trip up to your ward felt so long, and random thoughts start filling your head.

how were you going to raise this child? are you going to tell your parents? are you going to tell him?

then you realise you didn’t.

the lift arrives and the doors open.

doesn’t matter anyway, you’re not getting an ab--

the nurses look back at you when they notice you don’t step out of the lift.

time freezes, and a mixture of loss, love and anger fills you.

your eyes lock with his when he turns around at the sound of the lift doors opening. it’s been nearly a whole month since you’ve seen him.

it’s not very long.

but it sure as hell felt like it.

“uh, sir? are you here to visit a patient? have you been authorised with a visitor p--”

“it’s okay,” you call out, taking a step out of the lift and aligning your footing with the nurse. “he’s here for me.”

the nurses nod and inform you that they’ll be returning shortly with a visitor pass for him as part of the hospital protocol, and they leave you alone with juyeon in the hallway that leads to your ward.

you were well aware of the mild frown you had on your face while you looked at his. his hair was done up as per usual when he was out for work, but he looked like shit with those eye bags under his pupils.

you slowly and reluctantly walk towards him, each step closing the gap between the two of you and the weight of the atmosphere starts to rest on your shoulder.

you were a safe distance from him, your eyes angled at a comfortable height. your arms were limp by your sides, while his fingers were anxiously gripping onto a small paper bag.

you were ready to go off on him and walk away for good, because the sight of him did nothing but remind you of how he let his jealousy get a hold of him.

but before you could even make a sound, he drops to his knees.

your eyes widen as you take a step back, your pupils frantically searching for any sign that someone was pulling a prank on you.

the ache that filled your gut when you realised how much pain he had to be in to physically resign to his feelings washes over you.

“juyeon,” his name rolls off your tongue so naturally, leaving a bitter-sweet taste. “get up.”

you were kneeling before him as well, the view of his body crouched over and his head hanging low breaks your heart into a million pieces.

“juyeon,” your hands trail up his arms and find his face, and you see now, up close, that his face was bloated and the eye bags were caused by crying. the sight of such a broken version of him pains you to the core, and you feel your stone-cold attitude toward him melt away.

“i gave the firm to sang yeon and i told my parents i didn’t want to do what they wanted me to anymore.”

the amount of effort he needed to get those words out engulfs you like waves on a stormy day. each word rests lightly on your heart, like feathers, and some weight on your shoulders disappear.

“i can lose anything and everything...” his eyes well up with tears and your feel your heart start to rush. “but i can’t lose you.”

“juyeon--”

“i’m sorry,” he started to hiccup, and it shouldn’t be possible, but it broke you even more when you realise he was on the verge of breaking down. “after i apologised to chanhee, i begged him to tell me where you’ve run off. i wanted to ask your mother, but that would be using my business connections--”

another hiccup.

“he didn’t want to tell me, and it felt so bad because he wasn’t angry with me at all... and i just couldn’t do it without knowing if you were happy...”

he gulps a large amount of air, tears finally dripping off his chin and hitting the floor.

“and then chanhee left me a message, with an address that he said he asked from your father... and chanhee told me you were pregnant, and i just--”

“okay, okay,” you cut in, pulling him into your arms and stroking the space between his shoulder blades. “please don’t cry anymore...” you whisper quietly into his hair, feeling all your tears and emotions welling up in your face and threatening to explode.

“but--” he abruptly pulls away and finds your hands, his eyes unable to meet yours. “i don’t want you to stay with me just because i gave the law firm away and ran from my family.”

your hands naturally reach up to his face and brush away the tears off his reddening, swollen face.

“i want you to stay because you want to.”

suddenly, you remember saying, ‘life has a way of putting you in places you were meant to be.’

you’ve spent so much time running away from situations that didn’t offer you a choice... that you’ve forgotten what it felt like to have the freedom to choose.

juyeon giving you that option to decide your own happiness was all you ever wanted.

when he pulled that boss card on you, you felt suffocated from the fact that he was pushing you into a corner, that you had no choice but to listen to him.

that was what pushed you over your edge.

you were so calm in deciding what to do with the baby not because you didn’t care, but because it was solely up to you and there was nothing to interfere with your decision.

not your family, not money, not juyeon.

you didn’t know what you were searching for all this while, but juyeon saying this tells you that you’ve found it.

life has a way of putting you in places you were meant to be, and this was it.

the gravity of your choice doesn’t add to the weight to your shoulders, instead, it completely eradicates it.

“you can say no, it’s fine. and the baby... you can choose whatever you want to do with it. it’s your body, and it’s yours as much as it is mine and i won’t--”

you lean forward and cut him off, pressing your lips into his as you feel your entire existence dissolve and merge with his. the overpowering, intense feeling of completion and happiness that you’ve finally found in life swallows you whole. you wrap your arms around his neck and his hands find your cheeks, cupping them in his pool of warmth.

and in that moment, you chose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FIVE YEARS LATER

you couldn’t help but to smile softly at the sound of your father going off about something that had gone wrong with his laptop at work. the document he was working on wasn’t saved and he was about to curse when your mother hit him on his arm, harshly shushing him.

you pull out your phone while your father’s complaining doesn’t cease, and you see the notifications flood your phone screen.

eric and sunwoo were off on a well-deserved holiday with sangyeon and jaehyun in the maldives, the photos doing nothing but flooding the group chat.

chanhee: will you guys cut it out i’m still in a meeting with the other firms

sunwoo: yah nobody told you to work so much this holiday! you’re your own boss so can’t you give yourself a break?

chanhee: i make myself do all the hardwork so you people can enjoy yourselves!

jaehyun: i still can’t believe sangyeon stepped down and went back to being a manager so you could become ceo

chanhee: hey what does that mean

sangyeon: don’t worry chanhee, his money is in my bag

eric: they’re fighting now, hold on i’ll send a video

you smile to yourself and your mother finishes berating your father and takes a sip of her tea, plates of crumbs surrounding you on the table.

“oh, would you look at the time?” he quickly looks at his watch and gets out of his seat. you thought he was just using it as an escape route, but you look at your phone’s clock and the numbers strikes you.

you reject a ride from them and they watch you get into a bus, hands waving but you knew your mother was still telling him off about overreacting about the document not being saved.

you watch the city whir past you and your phone starts to vibrate.

“y/n, have you looked through the contract for the swavroski’s ownership deal?”

“ah,” you fumble through your suitcase, looking for the familar blue file that the contract has been sitting in for nearly six years. “i have actually. it seems alright to me. i’ll get it to you tomorrow over lunch during my break.”

“dinner is fine. i know your lunch breaks are short.”

“aw,” you chuckle into the receiver. “he told you?”

“don’t push your luck.”

you laugh heartily, looking out the bus and pulling yourself out of the seat. “sorry mother~”

“i’ll see you tomorrow evening then.”

“okay, take care.”

you get off the bus and throw your phone into the suitcase. big strides take you across the pavement and you reach the glass door. someone inside spots you through the transparent surface and points to you, and the door swings open soon after.

your little ball of sunshine screams the moment he sees you, and you pick him up to let him litter kisses all over your cheek. you look into the kindergarten and watch juyeon get off the tiny stool meant for children, bowing to the teacher as he takes his leave.

“i thought i said i’ll pick him up today?” you take a step back to let juyeon wear his shoes, arms wrapped around your son.

“i heard you when you said that,” he takes your suitcase and pats down the creases of his blazer and pants. “but the charity house finished up early today and since everybody’s been working really hard recently, i decided to let them off.”

“that’s nice,” you let him kiss your forehead and he ruffles the little boy’s hair.

“has my mother contacted you about the deal?”

both of you walk around the building and head to the car park.

“yeah, it looks alright. you could look at it if you want to,” you strap your child to the baby seat as juyeon leaves the suitcases in the backseat, picking up a toy and handing it to him.

“what, the contract?” you simultaneously pull out of the car and make your way to the front seats. “nah, it’s been too long since i’ve seen those kinds of contracts.” he smiles at you and starts up the car.

mrs jung was the first person to greet the boy the moment the lift door opened. all the familiar staff members greet you and juyeon, everybody cheerfully rushing to play with the little boy. the rest of the evening and night was spent as per normal, with juyeon helping his son with his simple homework and coloring sheets in his office, while you were in your own working on the case that chanhee gave you.

the penthouse was the only thing your mother-in-law insisted for juyeon to keep after he told them he didn’t want to take up the responsibilities she and her husband wanted him to take. after much persuasion, she gave in, recognising his desire to channel all his ability into charity.

the swavroski deal was transferred to his mother, and you were in charge of making sure there was nothing wrong with the contract before she signed it.

unlike eric and sunwoo who left the law firm to work in a production company, chanhee couldn’t bear to leave the law firm after what he did. sangyeon ended up relinquishing his position as ceo and went back to being a manager after promoting chanhee.

chanhee begging you to return to the firm now that your husband was no longer the ceo was a whole drama to watch before you sleep.

you sat by the glass panels in the bedroom with the cars driving through the city night-life, case file in hand and a cup of tea on the coffee table next to you. the opening door catches your attention, and you straighten yourself while juyeon crashes into bed.

“is he asleep?” you close the case file and place it on the coffee table, taking a sip of tea.

“yeah,” he rolls onto his side so he could look at you. “took him awhile though. i had to tell him his mom was busy.”

a laugh escapes your lips. you turn and look over your shoulder at the sound of a plane taking off, a low but obvious rumble travelling through the air. you hear a soft shuffle and juyeon’s arms wrap around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder after he pushes your hair away.

“thanks for looking through the contract for my mom,” he whispers into your ear, planting a kiss on your neck under your earlobe.

“that little thing? it’s nothing,” you turn around in his arms, reaching up to his cheeks and pulling them towards you.

“i guess owning swavroski is a good distraction from her son withdrawing from being a lawyer in practise.”

his words come out between kisses, and you feel his hands reach for your rear. the contact sends a low groan up your throat.

“lee juyeon--” you scoff into the kiss, your feet being lifted into the air as he picks you up.

“what? he’s asleep,” he smirks before burying his lips between yours, laying you into the bed. “and besides, you did say you want another baby.”

a wide smile spreads across your lips as you push your hands through his hair.

maybe life wasn’t so fair to you at the beginning.

maybe you were just too immature to understand the true weight of responsibility, and everything just snowballed into the pain and restraint you spent so long trying to run away from.

so, even if it meant living through the same amount of ache and heartbreak again, to be with juyeon, to be one with your family, to be happy...

you’d gladly do it all over again.

- fin -

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: if you’ve been here since the start, i’d like to thank you for being so patient with me. i might have a ton of errors here and there in my writing which i didn’t pick up/change even after proof reading, so i apologise if it’s diminished your ability to appreciate/understand the story. i’d like to thank nessie, my first fan, who’s fed me bits and crumbs of ideas to fuel this story. i will forever hold this one close to my heart because i’m in a difficult time right now, and this has been my route of escape for the last three days or so. it’s always bittersweet to finish a story, because as much as the readers form a bond/attachment to the characters, the writers themselves find it difficult to let go; we find it difficult to give the characters the ending they deserve. so while i still feel slightly unsatisfied at how quickly this whole plot was thought out, i hope i’ve given my characters the due happy ending they really deserved.

thank you for reading, and i’ll totally see you soon! <3

- love, dana

#timetohajima #sjkdfhklashfd #im sad its over #but im so happy #lee juyeon #the boyz juyeon #juyeon #juyeon imagine #the boyz #juyeon fanfic

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rpmemesbyarat · 3 years

Conversation

RP meme from the movie “Dogma”

“I’m as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll.”

“May I continue uninterrupted?”

“Mention something from a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everyone’s a theology scholar!”

“Read that book again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks.”

“So you were an artist? Big deal.”

“That’s why he’s the King, and you’re a schmuck.”

“ I repeat; this is not a drill. This is the Apocalypse. ”

“ We call this piece "The Fecalator.” One look at it and your target shits him or herself.“

” I just love to fuck with the clergy, man, I just love it.“

"Let’s kill people.”

“Ah, Sweet Jesus! Did you have to use the whole can?!”

“Or you’ll do what exactly? Hit me with that…fish?”

“Honestly, you bottom feeders and your arrogance, you think everybody’s just trying to get in your knickers.”

“Do you go around drenching everybody that comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals?”

“I am to charge you with a holy crusade.”

“What’s the fine print?”

“I hate when people need it spelled out for them!”

“We’re here to pick up chicks.”

“Well, it’s a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it’s not nearly as impressive.”

“How am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? ”

“What work did you do? You lit a few fires.”

“Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.”

“You’re a man of principle.”

“We figure an abortion clinic’s a good place to meet loose women.”

“You’ll offer us sex as a reward?”

“Fucking Breakfast Club; all these stupid kids actually show up for detention.”

“Movies are fucking bullshit.”

“This is gonna sound really bad. I can’t believe I’m even thinking about this, but…”

"Someone told me I’d meet you and you’d take me some place I was suppose to go.”

“I feel like Han Solo, you’re Chewie, and she’s Ben Kenobi and we’re in that fucked up bar!”

“She’s the slut. Booong!”

“All right, well lets say we’re caught in a situation where we have like five minutes left to live. I don’t know, a bomb or something’s gonna go off; would you fuck us then?”

“Tell me something nobody knows.”

“When you do it, you’re thinking about guys.”

“Wars, bigotry, televangelism.”

“You’re saying having beliefs is a bad thing?”

“My eyes are open. For the first time, I get it.”

“Ours was designed to be a life of servitude and worship, and bowing and scraping and adoration.”

“You know, all I’m saying is that maybe one of us needs a little nap…”

“I think we may have to dispatch our would-be dispatchers.”

“See, don’t let your sympathies get the best of you. They did me, once. ”

“I’ve heard a rant like this before.”

“I have seen what happens to the proud when they take on the throne. ”

“Would you - could you - have believed me? You had to come to it gradually. Only now, after all you’ve seen, could you accept the truth.”

“I don’t want this. It’s too big.”

“It’s unfair! It’s unfair to ask a child to shoulder that responsibility, and it’s unfair to ask you to do the same.”

“I wish I could take it all back. But I can’t. This is who you are.”

“Everything I am is a lie.”

“No one can take that away from you, not even God. ”

“I guess this means no more cheating on my taxes.”

“Come on, demon, I wanna see you try that shit on someone who’s already dead!”

“And the pawns are moving into place as we speak…”

“But then your kind came along, and made it so much worse.”

“But true to his irresponsible nature, man won’t own up to being its engineer, so he blames his dark deeds on my ilk!”

“I’d rather not exist than go back to that…and if everyone has to go down with me, so be it.”

“The whole fucking world’s against us, dude, I swear to God. ”

“If I had a dick, I’d go get laid.”

“I think that God is dead.”

“I can’t wait to die.”

“Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear.”

“I’m responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.”

“The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them.”

“Don’t you think it’s time we went home?”

“No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air.”

“What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you, lady? Why the fuck did you hug my head? ”

“What the fuck is this, The Piano? Why ain’t this broad talking?”

“You of anyone should know that tits don’t make a woman.”

“But I’m a fuckin’ demon.”

“Guys like us just don’t fall out of the fucking sky, you know.”

“Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don’t fall out of the sky, you know.”

“You’re Catholic, can’t you talk to them?”

“Consequences schmonsequences.”

“Snootch to the motherfuckin’ nootch!”

“Let it never be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results.”

“You can’t be anal-retentive if you don’t have an anus. ”

“Ladies and gentlemen, you have been judged guilty of sinning against our almighty God, and I promise you, you shall pay for your trespasses, in blood!”

“I’m feeling a little exposed here…”

“Wings, now!”

“I know they were just kids, but we kicked their fucken pube-less asses!”

“Anyone who isn’t dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.”

“Are you saying you believe?”

“I’m telling you, man, this ceremony is a big mistake.”

“Go back to your paper routes, you Mighty Duck fucks.”

“Very basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are, then don’t be there.”

“Your continued existence is a mockery of morality.”

“You’re his father, you sick fuck.”

“You, on the other hand, are an innocent. You lead a good life.”

“You have more skeletons in your closet than the rest of this assembled party. I cannot even mention them aloud.”

“You’re awfully nude.”

“You know, maybe you’re wrong about this slaughter thing.”

“The major sins never change.”

“What, are you insinuating that I don’t have what it takes anymore?”

“Get me a… Holy Bartender.”

“Not born. SHIT into existence.”

“I can take anyone I meet and give a zillion and nine ideas a second, but I can’t keep any for myself.”

“I have issues with anyone who treats God as a burden instead of a blessing.”

“You people don’t celebrate your faith; you mourn it.”

“Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains got to wake up.”

“You were martyred?”

“I can’t believe we forgot about the magazine.”

“Smoke that motherfucker like it ain’t no thang!”

“NOBODY IS FUCKING ME! YOU GOT THAT!?”

“If you don’t pipe down, I’m going to yank your sack off like a paper towel.”

“Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what should be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus.”

“Well, I say we get drunk, because I’m all out of ideas.”

“Oh no, I’ve seen way too many Bond movies to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan, no matter how close you may think you are to winning.”

“You’re looking at eons of repression getting purged.”

“If only they’d let us jerk off.”

“Quit killing people, that’s high profile.”

“So do you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart if you blast ‘em in the ass?”

“The man was right about you. And I am going to go home and tell him so.”

“Quit leering at me. People are gonna think I just broke up with you.”

“You know, I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester.”

“You’re a pure soul… but you didn’t say "God bless you” when I sneezed.“

"Holy shit, it’s the Pope!”

“Ever the fucking apple polisher!”

“Hey Big Bird! Wanna play the Counting Game? Count the shells, Sucker Duck!”

“Snoogans.”

“So this is all about revenge.”

“After the first couple million years, escape from hell became my all consuming reason.”

“You mean, I’m pregnant?”

“You think someone threw him out of a plane with a message written on him like in Con Air? You ever see that flick?”

“It’s the living dead! Kill it! Kill it!”

“Wait a second! Between guys with wings, guys falling out of the sky, and guys trying like hell to fuck me, I think I’ve been pretty patient so far, and I’m not taking another step until you tell me where the hell you came from!”

“I came from Heaven.”

“Is this why I had to come down here this morning, man? Is this why I had to miss my fucking cartoons?”

“Let me give you a little inside information about God.”

“People die for it, people kill for it.”

“His piece will be rubbing inside of your armor!”

“You know ,death is a worry of the living. The dead like myself only worry about decay and necrophiliacs.”

“I told them I was coming up on a routine possession.”

“'Makin’ with the love.’ It’s a nice way of saying boning.”

“Do I come off as gay?”

“I got half a stock when she kissed me.”

“I hope you’re the skeeball type.”

“Bow down, stupid!”

“It never ends!”

“What the fuck happened to that guy’s head?!”

“She’s a clever girl, that one.”

“You ready to make some of those changes I’ve been talking about?”

“One of the drawbacks to being a martyr is that you have to die.”

“All is being taken care of.”

“Why are we here?”

*touches nose and makes funny noise*

“I told you she was a woman.”

“She’s not really a woman. She’s not really anything.”

“She’s something alright.”

“Are you saying you believe?”

“Crisis of faith over?”

“Why don’t you name the kid after me?”

“We’re in Mexico?”

“I couldn’t help it, the bitch was hot!”

“You know, you can’t talk to me like that anymore, I’m gonna be somebody’s mother.”

“Yo, we should go to Quick Stop.”

#rp meme #rp memes #rp starters #roleplay memes #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #dogma

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eagles-translated · 3 years

Text

Answering Eagles questions before the season 3 finale (Part 1/2)

I've received a bunch of questions since 3x08 and 3x09 dropped, so I compiled all the questions into two posts. I had to split them up because Tumblr only allows 10 images per post. Anyway, keep reading to see my answers and enjoy! 👇

My theory is that everybody will be gathered together for some event and then shit goes down. Sort of like the ending of 1x08.

We've seen an image of Adam, Omar, and Ludde together at a party of some sort. I can't post it here because of Tumblr only allowing ten pictures, but you can find it in Ludde's prediction post that I made prior to the season 3 premiere.

Felicia might be absent from this considering how her mental health has been recently, and instead opting to stay at home rather than attending a party.

I have my suspicions that Elias will be attending this party, though. We saw him at some concert in the season 3 trailer and they made it look like he was watching Amie singing in Stockholm. But maybe Amie will be performing at this party and Elias is watching her here instead?

It seems like Amie singing at the end of the season has become kind of a recurring theme. She performed "Follow" in 1x08 and "Second Sight" in 2x10 (on the radio, but my point still stands). I wouldn't be surprised if they followed this trend by having Amie perform a new song in the season 3 finale.

Maybe Elias approaches her after the performance to express how good she is. He hasn't really seen her do a live performance since 1x08, where she still hadn't really come out of her shell. They've also grown a lot closer this season. Perhaps Elias even has something more to tell her?

I can't help but feel like this party will end on a bad note, though. We have that whole thing with Andreas potentially buying a gun or whatever he's up to (discussed this more in another question down below).

I have a feeling this party is going to get interrupted in some way and that the season is going to end on a major cliffhanger.

I don't even know what they'll do with Ludde and Felicia. Ludde has no idea what happened to Felicia in these last two episodes, and I hope they'll have a conversation just to clear the air surrounding the whole press situation. Ludde still loves her even if he broke things off, and I would really like to see him reassure Felicia that the blame lies with Jack and not her. I don't think they will get back together and repeat what 2x10 did since the drama is still so fresh. Felicia shouldn't really get into a relationship right now, either.

I'm unsure about Klara. I feel like she's mostly done her part this season, but maybe things aren't completely finished between her and Elias. Maybe there were some things left unsaid on Klara's part when she met with Elias at the café, and Elias never really confirmed where he was at.

This talk regarding their relationship (and Eagles?) might happen in the season finale. I'm leaning towards them ending it for good since I doubt they will be getting back together. However, I'm pretty sure that it will be on good terms now after everything Klara did for Felicia.

I somewhat agree with this, even if it was worded a little harshly. Felicia shouldn't have been so quick to share the most personal thing that had ever happened to her on her first date with a guy she had just met. And she shouldn't have done the same thing with Jack, even if it was someone she'd known for longer.

I think she should've at least waited a while to see if the person she told her secrets to was trustworthy—sort of like Ludde did when he told Felicia the truth about how Andreas landed in prison. That's a huge secret and it made more sense to have it be shared closer to the end of the first season rather in the first three episodes.

On the other hand, I can definitely understand why she was so quick to share her problems. Felicia was really lonely when she first came to Oskarshamn. Her parents were fighting all the time, and her dad was only focused on Elias' hockey career. She carried these huge traumatic events and had nobody really supporting her when she ended up at the hospital and was sent to rehab. Felicia couldn't share the secret about her dad's affair either. She really had nobody in her life that she could talk to about any of this.

So it's reasonable that when she finally met a person who she really connected with, she felt comfortable enough to finally share these burdens she had been carrying. She actually started out by saying this to Ludde in 1x03:

I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I don’t talk about it to people.

I don't think Felicia set out to tell her whole backstory to Ludde. It just happened. I'm not saying it was the right choice, but Felicia probably realized that she desperately needed someone to talk to. And she said herself that it felt really good to just get these secrets out (until it didn't when she thought Ludde had spilled the beans to Klara). Felicia even made sure to stress to Ludde that he couldn't tell anybody about her experiences in the US.

Felicia: I don’t want this to come out, that’s really important. Ludde: Of course, I’d never tell.

A similar situation arose with Jack. Felicia was more isolated than ever and she had aborted a child that nobody knew about—not even her mom. That's a huge secret to carry on your own.

Felicia had known Jack since she was a child. She trusted him and he was a family friend. Not only that, but Jack has the ability to be incredibly charming when he wants to be. If anything, it makes more sense that Felicia told her personal things to Jack rather than to Ludde. She couldn't predict that Jack would turn out to be a cheating asshole who would leak everything in the press. It's kind of sad that Felicia would have to constantly keep quiet about all the wounds she's carrying when support from the people around her is the thing she needs and craves.

I've never said that the Kroon family's reaction to them being slandered in the press wasn't valid. I actually understood their anger and frustration quite well, but they let their emotions get the better of them. Yelling at Felicia did nothing to help the situation even though it's fair that they would direct their anger at the person who was to blame in that situation.

It wasn't pretty, and ganging up on Felicia (when her personal business had also been leaked) wasn't the best way to deal with the situation. But because their privacy was violated, I understand it. I can agree with you on that part.

It just sounds like you're implying that Felicia isn't allowed to share personal stuff at all because it would be "gifting ammo to expose her family". If Jack had actually been a decent person and never ruined her family's reputation in the press, you wouldn't be as harsh on her. The situation just got blown out of proportion for everybody.

Put these questions together since they were sort of asking the same thing regarding the last scene of 3x09. Here is the full transcript from that scene if anybody needs a reminder:

Man: Hey. Andreas: Hello. Man: Wasn’t yesterday. Welcome to the outside. Andreas: Thanks. Hey… The last time I saw you, you said you knew somebody who sells. Man: Are you thinking of a fully automatic? Andreas: Yeah, whatever. Man: There’s a guy in Stockholm. I’ll fix it. I’ll send you the number. Just tell him I sent you. Andreas: Alright, good. Got it. Man: Good. Good, see you. Andreas: See you.

It actually didn't click for me at all when I first saw this scene that Andreas could've been talking about buying a gun—my first thought was actually that he was talking about a car because I'm that stupid lmao.

Anyway, there is definitely potential for the season to end on a cliffhanger involving a gun and Andreas. I have a few theories on what the season could end like. Season 3 has been so much darker than previous seasons, so while this might feel too serious for a show like Eagles it's definitely not out of the question after the recent episodes. Anyway, here's what I think could happen.

1. The season ends with Andreas having the gun—but we don't know if he'll actually use it 2. The season ends with Andreas just about to shoot someone—but we don't know who (?) 3. The season ends with Andreas having just shot someone—but we don't know who (?)

I don't know which one of these theories I'm leaning more towards, but I really hope this won't be the outcome for Andreas. He just spent close to a year in prison for something he didn't even do. Andreas is not a criminal, and it would be disappointing if he actually ended up doing this. They could be throwing us for a loop.

I mean, personally I don't think shooting somebody because they were the reason my younger brother didn't get into his dream school is enough reason to risk ending up in prison for. Yes, Ludde got his reputation ruined, but there are other ways to solve that than to resort to crime. Andreas should know that too, considering the whole thing where he got landed in jail because he tried to protect Ludde.

This could absolutely be the case but at the same time I'm a little unsure. Hopefully things will just go up from here since the last two episodes were so dark, but I'm unsure what that last scene in 3x09 will mean for the season finale.

I hope they will do something similar to 2x10, where the ending was more bittersweet than just sour. We had the moment with Elias finally being drafted to the US and then Felicia and Ludde finally getting back together. We saw Amie achieve her dreams as a pop star. And yet there were still sour tones with us seeing Klara's dad passing away, Ludde being brought to the police station, and Amie being entirely alone and heartbroken.

2x10 was a really good episode and the ending montage gave me goosebumps the first time I saw it. I think ending a season like that, with both positives and negatives, hits you more emotionally rather than just ending on one or the other. The 1x08 season finale was really depressing and while the cliffhanger was intriguing, it didn't hit as hard for me as 2x10.

I'm kind of curious if they'll be able to top that episode—it's definitely among my personal favorites.

My stance is that if Elias and Amie won't happen in 3x10, they will be guaranteed to happen in season 4. There is no way they're passing that opportunity up. They have clear chemistry, are fan favorites, and it absolutely makes sense for them to get together considering where they're at in their journeys—both having realized their dreams but then coming back to Oskarshamn because it didn't turn out the way they thought it would.

I think they have a mutual understanding of each other—in season 3 more than ever—and it would definitely be a shame if their potential was wasted. So I can't see the writer(s) passing up that opportunity.

There is a possibility for Elias to make a move in the season 3 finale, but I think it's better to keep our expectations low. We just had Felicia go through something really traumatic and her whole family is dealing with the ramifications of Jack slandering them in the media. Elias's relationship with Amie might have to take a backseat because of that.

There's also the thing where we thought that Petra might forbid Amie from seeing Elias because the newspapers painted him as a sex addict. But I think Petra and Amie have reached an understanding in their relationship after the whole Michael thing, and I can see Petra taking Amie's word when saying that Elias isn't what the press makes him out to be—and that he's not like his father.

I really do want to see something happen between them in the season finale, though. I'm excited but impatient for Elias and Amie and I think there are many fans who feel the same way.

But there is a reason they've been so slow to develop their relationship. Elias and Amie have grown as people separately and they're at a point where I believe they're more compatible than they ever were previously. They've been building their character development, slowly but surely, and I like that they haven't been rushed together like Felicia and Ludde were.

If nothing happens between them in season 3, don't lose hope. I think season 4 will absolutely be Elias and Amie's season.

I hope so. I hope Petra isn't listening to the tabloids and tries to see what's in front of her instead, which is that Elias is not Mats.

Elias is entirely his own person. I know Petra was heartbroken when Mats left her after getting drafted, but when Elias was put into this exact situation he hesitated because he didn't want to leave Klara alone.

Klara: Elias… I don’t understand why you’re even thinking about this. Of course you’re going [to the US]. You’ve always wanted this. Right? Elias: But I don’t want to leave you.

Petra doesn't know about this, but we as the audience do. Elias's actions have always been caring and supportive (and I'm not just saying this because Elias has always been my favorite character). It should only be a matter of time until Petra realizes that, if she just gave him a chance.

I think that Petra will eventually see that Amie has finally found someone special who makes her happy. That Elias isn't at all like how Mats was at his age, or like Michael who didn't even bother to support her.

Petra has been so unlucky in love and I hope she can see through her prejudices and let her daughter be happy and loved, in the way that Petra never really got to be.

It could happen, but even if it does I don't think they will be separated for most of season 4.

Maybe Amie decides to finally take charge of her career and tells the record label that she's doing this her way or not at all. Maybe she even decides to quit to try a music career on her own terms, or with a different label that doesn't make her as successful but doesn't control her.

I never felt like the particular record label Amie ended up with was a great fit for her. Yes, she's very talented and I would love to see her become an even bigger star, but only if it's done the way Amie wants it to be done. There could be the possibility of Amie leaving the label, just like how Elias left the US.

I definitely think Felicia has picked up on Elias overworking himself. He's been at the gym constantly, even during the school field trip to Stockholm. Elias left this huge opportunity in the US to come back to Eagles, and the overworking could be a result of him feeling like he has to prove to both himself and the people around him that this decision was the right one.

They've been super subtle about this whole thing and I hope they will be discussing it properly soon instead of just giving us small snippets. There was discussion about this being an eating disorder, but I think it's leaning more towards overworking like you said and bad eating habits (in my opinion, we would need to see something more drastic before drawing the conclusion that Elias might have an eating disorder).

There's so much that needs to be brought up in the season 3 finale—like what exactly Andreas is planning and its outcome, Felicia healing after her suicide attempt and potentially having a conversation with Ludde, and maybe some sort of triangle drama between Elias and if he'll choose Klara or Amie. There are so many possibilities here that I have my suspicions that this storyline won't be fully resolved in just one episode.

I think it will be pushed forward into season 4 because that seems to make the most sense right now. I've been wrong before though, so something else could definitely happen.

#eagles svt #svt eagles #if you sent in a question recently and it wasn't among these you'll probably find it in part 2!#working on it right now

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