#every dumb comment will be deleted and you will be blocked

[sebfreak]

everyone who does make victim blaming in rammstein and till´s case will be blocked on every platform by me. so yeah keep going with you bullshit, but my list is getting longer and longer. i don´t wanna hear your shit. i don´t wanna hear your words like: oh they are at her own fault for being raped, abused or drugged. 

#tw rape mentioning #tw rape #personal #tw abuse mentioning #tw abuse #tw drugs #rammstein #till lindemann #i stand with every victim #you have my support #every dumb comment will be deleted and you will be blocked #i´m so done with this attitude #f with your godlike singer #f with your idol #i do not care #he is only a human being too #he has to shit and piss too #so he has to be punished for everything he has done

[nothing-tolose]

Foolish One.

warning: reader being so dumb bcs she always ignores every signs and dreaming too much <3

if you have criticism and suggestions to me, you can just knock my dm or send it to inbox <3

a/n: this whole fic was messed up like REALLY REALLY MESSED UP please bear w me ;) have fun anw

wc: 6K

daily click

Cards are on the table. It's way past midnight, yet the living room is bathed in light, and laughs from your friends all over the room. Here you are, having a sleepover for four nights with your friends and now playing UNO cards with them. None of you all can sleep, that's why now you were sitting on the dining chair, with three cards on your hand.

"Ellie! It's your turn!"

You glanced at Ellie, who was sitting across the table, as Sophie called out her name. God, you couldn't help yourself but screaming inside your heart as you saw her smile on her face. Those freckles on her face, green emerald eyes, and the scar on her eyebrow, she literally got your attention.

You knew that you were already fell in love with her, ever since you saw her on Aimee's instagram story 3 months ago. Head over heels even. But one thing you can't help it from yourself everytime you fall in love, you were too afraid to reach her out. Of course, your friends giving you a lot of advice so you wouldn't be afraid to start a conversation with Ellie. You already tried on their advice, such as texting her through direct messagw but always ended up you delete it before you could even send the text.

So many negative thoughts when you tried to reach her. What if she doesn't like me? What if she call me a freak? What if she hates me? A countless what-ifs lives rent free on your mind. And it explains why you weren't close enough with Ellie, you were too afraid and too shy to start a conversation.

You knew all about her from your friends. They'd tell you what's her interest, what she likes and hates, what she afraid of, and so much more. You do realize that you can't just got her news only from your friends, so you've been following her instagram account by your not really a suspicious fake account named @/16candlesf00l. Thank God her account isn't a private account, and thank God she didn't block your account!

You've also been following her TikTok with another fake account since she was pretty famous there with around 8,000 followers she has, and that makes you can easily leave comments on every video she posts without worried about she's going to confused, you usually leaving comments like, "Oh, you're really pretty!" and other flirty remarks. Then one day, you comment, "Did you cut your hair?" and she responds with just "Yeah." Despite her brief reply, you respond enthusiastically with "Should we get married?"

A single word, 'Yeah,' had already sent you into an hour of rolling on your bed, giggling, and playfully kicking your feet against the pillows.

She didn't reply to your comment after that, and you didn't mind. At least there was a bit of interaction with you, right?

"Hey!"

Snapped back to the reality by Cassandra's tap on your shoulder, she leaned in and whispered to you, "Girl, I know you're head over heels for Ellie, but how long are you going to just stare at her, huh?"

"What-" You cast a quick glance at Ellie, unable to believe what Cassandra had just said. Yet there she was, looking back at you with that slight smile on her lips, her fingers idly playing with the cards in her hand. It was clear she had been watching you for at least a minute or two.

You quickly turned your head left and right, let out an awkward chuckle to Cassandra. Oh really, you lost your words.

"Uh- Cass- I.. Uhm, what color-" You stuttered, you started feel like this situation was fucking embarrassing especially when Ellie still looking at you, not moving even for a second. Cassandra and the others waiting you pull out your cards.

And for God's sake, you really wanted to hide yourself in a closet right now.

"Hey, why did you stuttered? It's blue, go pull out your card, babe!" Cass slapped your back (not in verbally way obviously. Immediately you pulled out your card, you didn't see the number first but the color.

You saw Ellie suddenly get up from her chair, she handed her cards to Chloe who's already won the game first, "Chloe, can you play my cards for me? Em—" she stopped, clearing her throat before she continued, "I have an emergency, I'll be back later,"

Chloe just nodded without giving her a glance, hands taking the cards. Meanwhile your eyes were never leaving her gesture leaving the dining room to backyard porch.

3 hours passed after the moment where you got caught by your friends for staring at Ellie for too long. Everyone was asleep, except you. It was really really boring because you're being the only one who can't sleep, meanwhile everyone is drowning in their own sweet dream.

The silence in Sophie's bedroom was so quiet that the ticking of the clock feels so loud here. You get up from the bed really slow and careful as you didn't want  to disturb Cassandra's sleep, as she was a light sleeper. As you made my way out of the bedroom, you cast anxious glances at Cassandra, concerned that the door might creak loudly upon opening.

You turned your heels towards the backyard porch, then leaning your back against the fence. Your hands grabbed a cigarette and lighter from your pocket. As you took a drag, you sighed, your mind replaying the moment from two hours earlier. After revealing your cards, Ellie had turn aside her gaze, yet you couldn't shake the feeling that she was stealing glances at you every few minutes.

Okay, maybe you're really delusional.

"I thought I'm the only one who couldn't sleep?"

You fixed your position and looking around to find where the voice came from, an that's when you spotted Ellie from the house, pulling on her gray hoodie as she stepped to you. Did she just talking to you? Like, for the first time ever?

Jesus, 'No fucking way,'

You chuckled, "I guess my eyes weren't in the mood for sleep," you said. She joined you, resting her arms on the railing right beside you. "So," you said as you turned and tossed the cigarette into the trash bin below the porch, "What keeps you awake from sleeping? I mean, it's three in the morning and everyone else is asleep except us."

"I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders, and you tilted your head, "You don't know?"

"Yeah, I just… I don't even know what I'm doing before I realize it's already 3 AM. I guess I was thinking about something, getting lost in it, and then I forgot it once I realized I'm still awake," As she spoke, her smile broadened and she turned her head towards you, her gaze firmly fixed on yours.

You nodded in response. You couldn't look at her directly for fear of blushing, even as you sensed her gaze from the corner of your eye. Deep down in your mind, you found it hard to believe what had just happened. The girl you had a crush on since three months ago, the girl you always adored from afar because you were too shy and afraid, the girl you've been flirted on her TikTok post comment section are the same girl who just talking to you a few seconds ago.

The atmosphere turned really awkward when neither of you continued the conversation. The only sounds were from the insects on the ground and the occasional car passing by on the street. You humming, for at least the situation wouldn't be too awkward if you do that.. maybe.

Ellie opened her mouth, "How did you met Sophie?"

"Hm?" you glance at her and gasped the next second, "Oh, Sophie! I thought you were speaking some words," you fall silent, hummed, and let out a little chuckle from your lips, "I've known her since the first year; she was my first friend at school before she introduced me to Aimee, Cassandra, and Chloe. We've gotten along ever since… until today. And.. what about you?"

"Sophie has been my friend since childhood, we were on the same school when I was 7, her dad was my father's fishing buddy for years and we were on the same neighborhood. Now she's more like my.. older sister," she stopped, before pull herself away from the railing, "But whenever I'm with her, it feels as though I'm speaking to an old woman who lives for a long time. She told everything to me, the dos and don'ts, and even offers five minutes of advice whenever she thinks I need it!"

You groans between your laugh, "Really? No way, she did the same thing to me all the time! She's truly the mom, isn't she? Oh, you know what? One day I was scammed by someone claiming to sell tickets for my favorite singer's tour. I ended up losing about 200 bucks, they blocked my numbers and didn't say anything! And she—"

"Wait, 200?!" Ellie interrupted, her tone a mix of surprise and shock. You nodded and chuckled as you saw her mouth fall open. "That's… quite a lot," she added.

"I know! Jeez, I was so dumb at that time, and Sophie was the first person I told, and she really scolded me for an entire day. She keeps bringing it up in the middle of any conversation, as if I didn't hear her the first time," you paused for a moment, taking a breath before continuing, "She even said things like 'I told you so, I damn well told you!', 'If only you had been patient, you wouldn't have been scammed', and 'With that money, you could've bought your precious expensive book,' ugh, I wasn't born for those words!" you imitated Sophie's voice, laughing lightly as you did.

You both laughed, the conversation continues as you both found a lot common in each other's interests when you mentioned your favorite comic book. You swore she's the sweetest when she's talking, eyes always locked on you, the funniest jokes she tossed, it all raises your hopes too high. Two hours flew by, until you started feeling sleepy and decided to head back to the bedroom, but when you were already laying down, the sleepy instantly gone.

You were talking to yourself in whispers before you asleep, mind keep thinking about Ellie and there was no any signs to stop thinking about her. So many wishful thoughts and imagines if you were dating her. Yet, no matter how long you could keeping her in your mind, there's always some voices showed up in your head and saying such things like;

'You really never learned from your past,'

'There's so many girls out there who maybe caught her attention,'

'It'd seem so sad if you're the only one who fell to her and she's not.'

'Aren't you afraid if she end up with someone who's not you like how the last time you fell in love?'

And you really hate those voices, trying to block them all out without giving a single damn to it. Instead, you tried to believe that things will work out with Ellie, unlike the last time when you fell for Robin—the girl who started dating someone else the day after you confessed your feelings to her.

No, you're not going to end up the same like that. Not now, not with Ellie.

"What if she confesses her feelings to me?" you mumbled, biting your lower lip as you began giggling and buried your face in the pillow, "God, I'm so fucking delusional!" although you said that, you couldn't stop for imagining if she were tell you about her feelings, going on a date to somewhere, chilling at her house or yours, and discussing about every novel you both likes.

It was so.. cute, you thought. However, you didn't realize that you were projecting those images as hopes onto yourself and it'd lead you to breaking down if you weren't aware.

You push the pillow away from your face, shifting into a side-lying position. A smile remains ever-present on your lips. You breathe in and out slowly, then closed your eyes, it's literally five in the morning and you haven't sleep.

"Have a good sleep, Ellie,"

Ugh, you did not.

Two months down the line. Returning home from Sophie's holiday house was quite late, a full day after everyone else had left. You had the option to ride with Cassandra or take up Ellie's offer, but you were waiting for your mom, who had promised to pick you up. She didn't show up for four hours, then she texted you that she would be a bit late, and you ended up waiting her until the next afternoon.

You've called her phone countless times, but she never answers. You can't turn to your dad for help either, as he's been in Greece for three months. And your brother? He would never waste his time just for drive ten hours from his place to Sophie's home and then take you to your apartment.

So, how did you managed to get home?

Ellie came back the next night after Sophie mentioned you to her. You were overwhelmed with guilt for having declined her offer to drive you home the day before, especially since she returned just to take you home, facing a five-hour drive. She knew you weren't really in a mood after waiting literally a night for your mom who texted you that she couldn't pick you up after you were already with Ellie. She knew that. That's why she made a stop at convenience store, bought a lot of foods and drinks before taking you to the closest beach for some relaxation.

You've been getting along with Ellie. Ever since the day she made sure you got home safely by driving you home, there hasn't been a day without texting, talking, and even meeting up with her. And indeed, for heaven's sake, she made you fall deeper for her, more than ever. The way she acts around you, the way she talked to you, the way she is paying her attention at you every time you tell her your story. She really keeps your hopes still high.

She always asks you to go out at least three or four nights a week, and you've never said no. After all, it's not a waste of time when the girl you have a crush on—the same one you always comment on her posts—is asking you out. Every time you went out with her, she was incredibly sweet, as if you were girlfriends. But sometimes, she'd leaving you too soon, she would be saying sorry because she had an emergency. And it wasn't just once. But you didn't mind at all since she still brought you out to any places.

Ellie would purchase everything for you; even when you babbled thoughtlessly, she would disappear for a bit and come back with an item you had mentioned in her hand. You have always warned her against purchasing such items without your consent-literally all the time, and although she agreed, she never heard your warning.

"I swear to God, Ellie. I just told you an hour ago to not buy me some things I babbled about!"

She smiled, "Oh.. really?" you scoffed, couldn't hide the smile from your lips, "You're smiling."

"Shut up, Williams!"

A couple weeks had gone by, you started to questioning yourself about what were you to her? Girlfriend? Or were you just trapped in situationship? The worse, you were only a friend to her. You couldn't find the answer. It seems like she might have the same feelings towards you. She made you flustered, made you felt like you were the luckiest person alive. On the other hand, she never mentioned what relationship you both are in right now. You couldn't even tell if you were deserve to feel hurt or not.

Despite everything, you know how to pretend you're fine when you're hurt, right..?

Now go back to the present, you found yourself resting your head on Ellie's shoulder, half-watching the netflix show on the TV. Instead of watching the show, you were busy on your own thoughts. Confused. Who are you to her? Just friends? Situationship? You knew it too well, it felt like you can call her as yours but in reality you were not.

"Everything's alright?" Ellie interrupted your thoughts as she spoke. You nodding your head in response, lied. And unfortunately you weren't good at hiding expressions. She can feel that you were far from alright.

"Are you sure?" she asked, paused the show. Then she pinched your cheeks, leaving you laughing and grabbing her wrists as you pleaded with her to stop, "You know, you can tell me if there's anything wrong. I'll help you," she added, her fingers stopped pinching your cheeks now.

You chuckled, "That's so nice of you, Williams. But trust me, nothing's wrong now."

You keep resting your head on her shoulder, your gaze wandering around her apartment. Three minutes later, you find yourself sinking back into your daydreams. About someday, when you both are older, these moments would be the things you always laugh about over the tea every morning while Ellie watching the news.

"It was so funny back then,"

"Yeah! Oh, remember when you drove me home but the you stopped at the beach!"

You huffed, realizing once more that it was all just a dream.

"Ellie," you called her name all of the sudden, with you playing with your fingers, "Yeah?"

"Do you ever... believe that if we were patient enough to wait someone we had a crush on, they'll coming to you?" you don't know, why the question was suddenly came out from your mouth.

She hummed at first, and laughed, "No.. I guess. Because, what if you were already waiting them patiently but apparently they weren't the one for you?"

You went silent, she tilted her head to you, "Why did you asked suddenly though? Did someone caught your attention for a while and you're waiting for them?" and you nods.

"Who?"

'It's you, dumbass.' you secretly rolled your eyes.

"I won't tell you," you sigh out, "I've been waiting them for these past 5 months, and for God's sake, she's too hard for me to reach!" you slammed your hands into your thighs, inviting her laugh.

"It's almost half of a year, and you still waiting?" you nods to her question, biting your lower lip and avoiding her gaze. You heard her letting out a heavy sigh, "What if they never come to you? As if their love were never gonna come either?"

You froze, losing all your words. Why was she asked you like she knew you were talking about her?

Thereafter her phone buzzed leading Ellie quickly flipped her phone like she doesn't want you to curious, "I'm going out for at least ten minutes, you don't mind?"

And who are you to said no and pleaded to stay here? You were her guest on her house, nothing more like that. In the end you answered okay, almost whispered.

You were spying her through the corner of your eye as she walked out onto the balcony and closed the door. You could see her from inside when she walked back and forth with a big grin on her face, occasionally laughing. You really wanted to know what was going on, what the conversation was about that made her laugh so freely. But you knew your boundaries; you weren't supposed to ask her personal questions.

At one time she talked too loud you could even hear it from where you sit, "You'll come back? You're kidding, right? I swear to God, Emma, I missed you so much!"

Wait, who's Emma?

Ellie looked so excited on conversation with someone she just called Emma. From what you've heard through friends, Ellie didn't have many friends, and they mentioned only Jesse, Dina, Aimee, Chloe, and Sophie when you first confessedyour feelings about Ellie to them. So.. who's Emma then?

What if she were Ellie's girlfriend? No, there's no fucking way. Five months ago your friends said she was single, so that.. can't be. You immediately get rid all your negative thoughts about the girl Ellie mentioned on her phone call.

Enough staring her too long and overthinking. You shrugged your shoulders, act like you didn't care at all, 'I shouldn't think about this.. No. Please, please, please, try to think how sweet Ellie when she's with me..'

You changed the show into the romance one, you cannot stop smiling, you dream up if those romance scenes you watched right now was you and Ellie. The thought from you think about when you were couldn't sleep at Sophie's holiday house came back, 'Will Ellie ever open up about her feelings for me?'

It was so dumb. Do you ever think like that? The answer is yes, but who cares?

Your phone buzzed, and as you glanced at the screen, a notification was displayed.

911 sophie

hiiiii babe let me tell u i'm at aimee's rn

You

helllooooo what r u doing w her?

911 sophie

aimee was about to inviting you to her house tonight, and the others too. but her phone was DEAD RN she's planning on making a whole fucking meal like.. for 6 people??!! anyway wya???? she told me to buy some foodstuff at supermarket but i'll be fucking bored if im alone since she cant go out she's too busy with her other food creation or idk whatever she called it sooooo do you want to accompany me say yes i'll pick you up RIGHT NOW

You chuckled as you saw her text. Aimee was definitely too focused on what's her doing right now. You could tell how bored Sophie was there.

You

does she invite ellie too? anw pick me up pleaseeee ms. torres;))) at ellie's house love u!

Your gaze went to Ellie's, seems like she already finished the call. It's been 4 hours since you got here, and maybe it's enough for today even though you haven't finished the show you're currently watching.

911 Sophie

yeah she invited ellie too why? huh you were at what??? ellie?? GIRL HOW

You

mmmm i'll tell u later ;p JUST PICK ME UP ALREADY

911 sophie

OH CMON okay i'll be there in 10 xo

You paused the TV show and rose from the couch, reaching for your sling bag on the floor. At the same time Ellie, had came back from the balcony, you could tell how good her mood is by her smile.

"Where are you going?" she asked, noticing that you had already slung your bag over your shoulder. She made her way over to you, her fingers were scratching her back neck.

"I… Uh… Sophie asked me to go out for buy some foodstuff.." you pointing your thumb to behind before falling silent for a moment. "Is… is it okay if I leave now?" you ask, feeling a wave of regret wash over you immediately after, cursing on yourself for even questioning why she wouldn't be okay with you leaving.

'God, I'm so weird!'

"Oh… Okay," Ellie glanced back before turning her head to stare at you, "I was about to leave as well. Where will she meet you? And maybe I can drive you—"

You cut her off, shaking your head, "Actually… she said she'll pick me up here in ten minutes." Ellie nodded in response, her mouth forming an 'O'. She made her steps into her bedroom after she smiled at you and came back with her wearing her green jacket.

Your other side was sooo curious. Where is she going? Why did she smile so happily after the call? And what made her so excited during the call earlier? Will she be with someone, or will she be alone? You don't know, and you want to know. You really want to know. Curiosity inside you feels like started to eat you up. You immediately shook your head, pushing away your curiosity. You started talking to yourself in a really low voice, as if you hadn't said anything, "I should stop doing that."

"Ellie, I…" you were staring at her as she hummed, her gaze was met yours, "I think I'm gonna wait on the front porch." You were about to make your way to the front door, but her hand grabbing your wrist stopped you. "Ellie?"

Your eyes locked on hers; her expression was different from a minute ago. It was... guilty? Sad? You couldn't even tell. What's going on now? Was this related to her call minutes ago?

"I just... want to say sorry,"

You tilted your head. Seriously, what's going on?

"So, did you mean she was saying sorry to you without explain everything?"

Now, you were in Aimee's kitchen with Sophie, picking up the conversation that had been put on hold hours earlier. Aimee was in her bathroom, and here it's only you and Sophie whereas the rest on the dining room. You did tell her everything what happened today, once you asked her who's Emma, but Sophie wasn't sure if she know that girl because Ellie never told her about Emma. You already asked Aimee too, and all she said was, "I think I've heard that name.. I don't know." they literally left you all disappointed.

"I was about to ask her why she was apologizing to me, but I couldn't because you came to pick me up," you said, rolling your eyes at Sophie, which was followed by laughter from both of you.

"Whoa, so it was my fault, young lady?" her tone was changed along with the tip of her lips moved down shaping like upside-down 'U', "Maybe she did something wrong and you didn't notice it. Don't take this seriously because I'm just trying to speculate."

You scoffed at Sophie, "I don't know, Sophie. As far as I remember, she didn't do anything wrong that would make me mad or upset," you said, turning your shoulders down and positioning the knife between the apple slices you had cut earlier.

"Try to ask later, babe. I'm pretty sure she'll tell you later," Sophie placed her hand on your shoulder, before she moved to your left side. You gave her a disagreement gesture, huffed so loudly, made her expression was changed in seconds.

"She haven't talk to me since she arrived here, Soph," head down as you resting your hands to the counter surface, "What?"

You huffed once again. Indeed, Ellie hadn't spoken to you or even glanced your way since she arrived. It was as if you had done something to pissed her off, but you hadn't. She didn't text or call you like she always did after you left her apartment, the last message was when you told her you were already at her house. You were too desperate to find an answer or even to asking her. She seemed like a different person, completely changed from when she last spoke to you hours ago.

You both went back to dining room, sitting right next to each other while Ellie was sitting in front of you. She didn't give you a single glance, as if you weren't there. It's not like what she did when the night at Sophie's holiday house back then. She checked her phone every 10 minutes like she's waiting something important.

Your eyes were never left her gestures during the dinner. Even when your friends tried to talk to you, you just answered them briefly because you weren't in the mood to talk. Twenty minutes later, Ellie excuses herself and leaves everyone else, including you. She takes her steps to the kitchen. You see her hiding her smile by biting her lip.

Does she even realize you're here?

"Is everything okay?" asked Chloe, sitting next to you. "You seem a bit off, and I noticed Ellie haven't been talking to you either. Is there something wrong between you two?" she moved her chair so she can move closer to you.

"We're fine," you claim, but it's not entirely true. You might be pretending, yet you're actually okay with Ellie since you've never argued before. Chloe grunts, sensing the dishonesty in your words.

"I know you're lying. C'mon, you can be honest with—"

You shake your head, you don't want this conversation to continue too far. Enough for tonight. "We're really fine, Chloe. Believe me."

Chloe nods, she's back to her position, "Okay then. But still, tell me—no, I mean, please tell us if something's wrong with you two, we can help."

You excused yourself to the bathroom, but Ellie's voice in the kitchen halted your steps. You never realized what are you doing in front of the bathroom door, until you found yourself leaning on the wall right next to the kitchen where you heard her voice. She sounded so happy, laughs between her words, saying jokes that she had already told you.

The ache in your heart was undeniable. Who could she be talking to on the phone? Emma, perhaps?

You bite your lower lip, your hands wiping away the tears that threaten to fall from your eyes. You enter the bathroom and sit on the toilet, head bowed.

"Why does it hurt so much? I'm just her friend, right?"

Right, you had no right to be jealous or hurt when Ellie never thought about you being her girlfriend even though she treated you like one.

The next day, neither Ellie nor you started the conversation on messages like you two always did every morning. It felt so empty to you as you woke up and didn't find any signs of Ellie texting you.

You did your morning routine as usual without giggles and smiles. Everything went too quiet. You didn't mumbled or even talking to voice notes that you'e always sent to Ellie.

As night fell, time passed quietly. You didn't venture out, choosing instead to isolate yourself from the world, turned on the do not disturb mode on your phone even though Ellie hadn't sent any messages. The conversation remained where it was left off yesterday morning.

You couldn't resist the urge to text her, yet it all seemed no use when you deleted every word you were about to send.

You walked back and forth in your bedroom, hand holding the phone as your fingers scrolling through TikTok. None of the videos you watched, all you did was scroll and scroll, not really in a mood though but you were bored. Really bored.

Fingers stopped as you saw the profile picture, recognizing it too well, more than your own profile picture. It wasn't a video, but photos with a song called 'The Perfect Pair'. You knew who the figure in the photo was: auburn hair, sitting in the driver's seat, wearing the same jacket you saw yesterday, and the gray baseball cap she always wears.

Your eyes caught the other figure: long wavy ginger hair, sitting in the passenger seat, her hand holding the person you recognized before. God, your heart was beating faster than you could pant.

Slowly you sit on the floor, leaning onto your side bed.

You saw the caption, 'Soft launch' with some hashtag she always put in there. And the user she tagged, @/user3291emms.

That was the time you felt like something crashed your heart and broke into hundreds pieces. You know if you were too curious, you'll get the consequences. You opened the comment section, there was she commented on her own post, 'Welcome back to Boston, sweetheart.'

You feel like you're the most foolish girl who ever lived. Suddenly, you remember something that you had forgotten when you had a conversation face to face with Chloe.

"I heard from Dina, Ellie had been talking to someone for a while, the girl named Emma or something."

You didn't listen to Chloe that day because you were too busy adoring Ellie, who was playing her guitar far from you. You cursed yourself, mind repeating all those moments you always thought it meant nothing to you and her. All those moments became signs that Ellie wasn't the one.

The moment when she excused herself in the middle of UNO games, the moment when she always left too soon after she took you out, the moment when she was on the call on the balcony and she got too excited. The moment she was about to go, she was going to pick up Emma from the airport. And when she left the dinner party earlier than others, she was going on a date with Emma.

You were crying so hard, you put your phone right beside you while you buried your face between your arms.

"How could I not see the signs?" you spoke between your tears.

The voices in your head were right; you never learned anything from the past. Now, the voices were telling you why did you always ignore the signs. Because you were too busy loving someone, which led you to forget the worst-case scenario if they weren't loving you as you did to them.

Maybe you'll finally learn your lesson.

You sit there alone on the bench, at the park that Ellie always used to take you. Eyes never leaving two figures from afar, they seemed having fun on their own. Ellie hugging Emma tightly, giving her a lot of kisses while laughing at something. Thoughts of imagining if Emma were you came, which immediately you push away.

Ellie never texted you again or called you, or even talking to you, and you were trying to get used to it. Every single day, you tried to resist the urge to check the messages that had started to be abandoned.

You smiled slightly, you stood and picking up your bag, ready to leaving the park soon. Taking a small step into the exit.

You didn't know, Ellie noticed your existence right after she's done hugging Emma. Her eyes locked on your gestures, she didn't move even for an inch. As you get up from the bench, she did the same thing like she was about to take her step to you.

Oh, she did it anyway. Your wallet dropped without your knowledge. Ellie told Emma to wait for a minute and hurried over to you. She picked up your wallet and noticed the Polaroid of you and her from when she took you to the beach before. Something stirred in her chest as she wondered why you still held onto the Polaroid despite her having hurt you by avoiding you like a completely stranger.

"Hey, your wallet dropped," she tapped your shoulder twice, before you turned around.

You were surprised, Ellie was right standing in front of you. After all these months of being a stranger to each other, she showed up suddenly. You cleared your throat, took the wallet immediately, and put it in your bag. "Thanks," you said.

Everything went quiet again between you two, none of you were talking or leaving.

You felt like the goodbye was screaming in the silence. You seeing the visions of the past, maybe you just got her longing glances while Emma got her rings. You huffed, doesn't know if this was the last time you'd see her or not.

"Ellie," her smile disappeared as you called her name.

"Is it okay if I tell you that I still love you even though we haven't talk since Emma came to Boston? I'm sorry, Ellie. But I couldn't bear my feelings," you confessed to her, all those words just out from your mouth.

With furrowed eyebrows, she averted her gaze before fixing it on yours. "And would it be too late if I told you that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for these past few months, even after avoiding you? God, I wish I could have told you sooner."

Your eyes widened. Just before you could say something, she left, leaving you all alone with her words lingering in your mind until God knows when.

a/n: i made this because i just found out that the girl that i had a crush on for months already have a girlfriend <3 (i've been crying nonstop) ANYWAY big thanks to taylor swift for the names <33333

#⋆˚࿔ nothingtolose 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ #ellie williams angst #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams #ellie williams x female reader #tlou2 #ellie tlou2 #lesbian #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fluff #ellie the last of us #ellie x fem reader

[imkinaya]

Public Cervix Announcement For Creepy Older Men On Tumblr!

The coquette and girlblog tags aren't your hunting grounds for unsolicited advances toward younger girls. Do us all a favor and spare us the discomfort, and agony of your existence, won't you?

Do you think just because I'm barely legal, I'm desperate and dumb enough to jump onto some fossilized relic like yourself? You've got more wrinkles than a Shar-Pei. Your libido, if it even exists, is as lively as a fossilized mollusk, and you likely harbor more cobwebs down there than a haunted house. Your personality? Dry as the Sahara and your appeal? About as as enticing as a moldy, maggot-infested sandwich left out in the pouring rain—a repulsive sight that repels even the most desperate girl.

So why do you believe that an 18-year-old like me would waste even a millisecond on someone like you? I wouldn't even touch you with a ten-foot pole coated in industrial-strength disinfectant.

In fact, why anyone at all would subject themselves to the agony of your company is beyond me. Perhaps they enjoy the taste of bile rising in their throat as they listen to your feeble attempts at wit and charm, like a sadistic game of Russian roulette with their sanity, tiptoeing dangerously close to the edge of despair with every word that falls from your withered lips.

As for me, I'll pass on the opportunity to engage in a game of emotional Russian roulette with you, thank you very much.

Nah, I prefer my men fresh-faced, fit, with a pulse, a brain, and preferably, a decent amount of self-awareness, while being miles away from their expiration dates—qualities that are apparently light years beyond your grasp, buried under layers of your own desperation and decay.

One example is you @justhereniw. I posted a humorous question aimed at girls about how sex feels, and what do I get? Your sorry attempt at a comment. You thought you could engage in a conversation about sex with girls half your age? Pathetic. I called you out, and what did you do? Scuttled away like the pathetic excuse for a man that you are, blocking me and deleting your own filth in a desperate bid to save whatever shreds of dignity you have left. Spoiler alert: there's nothing left to salvage. So to all you older creeps out there, the world will be a better place without your sad, pathetic attempts at relevance polluting our collective consciousness. So do us all a favor and fade into obscurity where you belong.

💋🎀

#feminism #anti terfs #rant post #rant #call out post #girlblogging #girlblogger #hell is a teenage girl #this is what makes us girls #coquette #coquette dollete #girl interrupted #girl blogger #girlrotting #girlhood #cinnamon girl #girlblog #coquette aesthetic #female rage #just girly thoughts #just girly things #girly things #dollete aesthetic #pintrest girl #it girl #self improvement #pink girl #localy hated #girl interrupted syndrome #coquettecore

[xitsensunmoon]

Main FAQ

First of all, let's make it clear - this blog is my home. You're not a "customer" and you're not "always right", you are a guest. If you don't like anything that happens here, just leave, scroll away or block. I will not change anything just because you don't like it.

Before sending an ask, please also check my bio. Surprisingly a lot of people don't do even that. Let's go.

Can I use your work for a profile picture/wallpaper on my device? Can I print your stuff?

You can take my work for personal use if you don't get any profit from it. If it's online - credit me.

Can I dub/translate your comics?

Yes but with few conditions.

1. You credit me as an original creator. If it's a video you put the credits in the video, not in the description. If it's a post you put them in the post itself, not in the comments.

2. You do not put your watermark on my work/do not erase my watermark. You also don't colour it/don't "fix" it. It's my work and my work alone.

3. You do not change the dialogue/add phrases that weren't said by the characters. Again, it is my work, it's my interpretation and I will not tolerate you taking my work and changing it to your liking.

4. If you want to profit from my work - you don't have my permission.

5. You take down videos/posts with my work if I ask you to.

If any of these don't suit you - you don't have my permission.

Can I make an AI bot of your character?

Hard no. Roleplay bots are almost always using public fanfiction without the consent of the authors, not paying for their hard work but using it for profit, it's theft and I'm not going to contribute to that. I'm already considering removing my own bots from Character AI, as ch.ai still doesn't tell the public how they're training their bots so we'll see about that.

Anything that is absolutely off the table when sending an ask?

- Please don't vent to me. I'm not a professional phycologist and I never agreed to play the role of one. I also avoid questions like "I had a bad day, can you draw[ ]?" because after them my inbox becomes a venting place. Please seek professional help if you feel like every day is worse than the previous.

- Please do not send me anything NS///FW. As much as I can support suggestive content, explicit stuff will be immediately deleted and if you make me uncomfortable I probably will block you. No hard feelings but Tumblr is an SFW place for me. If you see me reblog something not SFW, it was probably made by my friend or with previous discussion and proper mature labels for everything.

Can I send you a DM, not an ask?

After some not-very-pleasant experiences that made me uncomfortable, I closed my DM's for everyone except my mutuals. But you're still free to send me asks about anything(within reasonable limits ofc).

Can I write a fic based on your art? Can I use your ideas in my works?

About ideas - ask first. I can get protective over one idea but completely don't care about the other one. If I said yes, credit me as an original source.

Can I draw a fanart/write you a fic?

Of course!! I'm absolutely happy to see anything! Also please tag me when you're done. If it's one of my au's - use specific tags for fanart so even if dumb Tumblr doesn't send me your tag, I will eventually bump into it browsing the tag!<3 (you can also tag me again if you think I didn't see your fan work, I absolutely don't mind!!) Also, feel free to drop an ask with a link too!

Can I tag you in other stuff?

As I already said you can absolutely tag me for any type of fan content(it doesn't even need to be yours). Memes are fine too, just don't do it every day alright?

Why don’t you answer my ask?

It can be one of these reasons:

1. I want to answer your ask with an art piece/comic. It takes time.

2. Your question contains spoilers so I'm keeping it for later when the truth can be revealed =]

3. I'm busy. Yeah.

4. I've already answered something similar/I don't want to answer your question so your ask got deleted.

When will you continue working on [insert whatever]?

When I can. I'm not pausing my things just to spite you. Most of the time I'm just busy or I simply don't have the energy to do anything. To everyone who says stuff like "oh well we've been waiting for a few months already!!" - I'm not here to entertain you. I'm here to have fun and share it with other people and you're currently ruining it. I will block anyone who is doing this continuously.

Can you draw my characters?

For free? No, I don't accept requests like that. You can commission me though. When my commissions are open of course. I will open DMs when it happens.

What content are you okay/not okay with?

Admiring of any of these in real life: terrorism, racism, rape, war, sexism, misogyny, transphobia, homo/queerphobia, pedophilia, sex trafficking, mental illnesses. If the content tries to show how terrible these things are I am mostly okay with it.

Is there anything I should watch out for on your page?

Dark themes, suggestive themes, and sometimes negative ones. I'm not afraid to draw violence, blood and gore. Dark humour. In general, I don't recommend anyone who's under 16 to be here but it's always your responsibility for what you're about to see.

In your bio, it says russians DNI? Is it about every russian or only those who support the war?

I don't care if you're a good russian or not, I don't care about your opinions and worldview. I don't want you in here. I have no time nor desire to try and understand how good you are. As a Ukrainian, I have all the right to tell all russians and people who admire anything connected to them to go fuck yourself. It's my safe place and I don't feel safe with zz's in it. Do you feel like I'm being "too categorical"? Don't make it my problem and leave. End of conversation.

Even WITHOUT war context (which I actually huge and should NOT be ignored) this post explains pretty well why this boundary exists.

What is your stance on reposting your artwork/fics?

The only cases when I allow reposting are dubs/translations with credits and all the other rules that I mentioned earlier. In other cases, no, do not repost my artwork. Doesn’t matter if you credit, I said no.

I saw your art somewhere but I'm sure you weren't the one to post it.

I post on Tumblr and Tiktok, my nickname always contains "xitsen" in it. You also could possibly see the dubs of my stuff on YouTube, as I allow these. Please send me an ask with a link to the repost if it's somewhere else. I will try to solve the situation myself.

Can I use your work as a reference? Can I trace/copy it?

Reference? Yes. If it's very obvious - credit me too. Trace/copy? No. No. And no. It's straight-up stealing.

What pronouns do you use?

She/they. Please don't refer to me in masculine terms.

What art program(s) do you use? Drawing tablet? Brushes?

For art pieces 90% of the time it's Paint Tool Sai 2, sometimes Photoshop and Krita. For animations, it's rather Toon Boom Premium or Krita.

My tablet is fucking 6 years old, Wacom something. They don't sell these anymore so I couldn't even find the model lmao.

Brushes - standard SAI brushes, watercolour for shading and brush for line art. If it's textured I use my custom one, you can create it yourself if you use SAI.

Don't mind the text quality please lmao. I literally had to copy it from Google for English translation. But the settings are mine yeah

Your "r" looks like "z"-

I know. Just let me be with my handwriting please lmao.

If you struggle with reading it this post with my alphabet can help you.

Why do you call [character] a whore??

It's an inside joke that suddenly became bigger than we expected. A silly, a funny, a goofy. It's not slut shaming if you thought it was. I love to joke about characters being whores in the most affectionate and lighthearted way possible even when the character clearly has no bitches. It even doesn't need to be sexual. Just a hee-hee ha-ha.

Probably gonna update it in future because I'm fucking sure I forgor something.

#for pinned post

[superectojazzmage]

Literally the big reason trolling/cyberbullying/discourse on the internet has arguably gotten worse in recent years is that the insane asylum that is Twitter has created a generation of internet users who don’t know the only effective method of stopping it, which is to say DON’T FEED THE TROLL.

Instead, now we’ve got a buttload of inexperienced teens, wannabe social activists, and celebrities who think the solution to trolling is to engage full-force with every single troll, to battle them, to call as much attention to them as possible with callout posts, to “totally own” them with FACTS and LOGIC, to factcheck them, to make weepy cryposts about how awful it is that the trolls are doing this and how deeply affected you are by it, or make ”brave and noble” posts about the trolling so you can virtue signal call for the community to be better and white knight defend the honor of the poor hapless victim.

And of course all this does is encourage the trolls to further extremes, because they don’t care about being right (factually or morally) or “winning” they’re just looking to get a reaction out of you to troll you and now that you’ve given them a taste they’ll want even bigger reactions like a drug addict desperately chasing the feel of their first high. Whether these isolated patches of a few hundred (MAYBE a thousand or so) morons in a nation of tens of millions actually believe the idiocy they spew is irrelevant, the reaction and attention is all they really want, hence why they almost always stop if you just ignore or block them.

Like unless you are a literal child or have some kind of disability or mental illness that somehow prevents you from knowing any better, there’s no excuse. Just block or ignore the dumb messages and comments. Its not that hard. I have gotten plenty of hate messages in my years on Tumblr (I have a new blog because I deleted my old one, but trust me, I have been here since this site’s golden days), literally each and every single one I dealt with by just… not responding.

It works. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

If you can’t wrap your head around this, then there are four possibilities; you’re part of a younger generation who was not taught basic netiquette (in which case you have my sympathy but you NEED to learn), you’re a child or teenager learning the hard way (we’ve all been there), you’re an idiot who doesn’t know how block buttons works, or in the worst case, you’re a prick who uses the trolls to try and get attention/sympathy/clout online or to shield yourself from criticism (this one is ESPECIALLY popular amongst celebs and corporations).

#tumblr #blog #tumblr culture #reddit #twitter #facebook #instagram #social media #social networks #the internet #internet #internet culture #troll #trolling #anon hate #netiquette #internet drama #drama #don’t feed the troll #blogging #politics #discourse #fandom critical #the discourse #virtue signaling #white knighting

[somebirdortheother]

Hello my beloved Birdy. I have returned. I've considered not sending you any other message because, well… I thought I was getting on your nerves, quite frankly. But tonight, as I was watching episode 8, I realised that if you weren't madly in love with my commentaries, you would simply delete them and block me! So here we are again, in the pit of madness.

I want to point out right off the gates that I'm still very crossed with you. Hari is still done for, and now they took Salvor as well. This isn't what I signed up for.

Demerzel? Pulling the strings in the shadows? Who would have thought?! But seriously, I find it incredibly funny that Dominion can restore memories. What CAN'T they do?

Mother Magic is an absolute bitch. Sorry. I've said the word. And Gaal is really disappointing me so far. She's smarter than that. She should know better. The moment she knew that Hari was dead, she should've ran for the hills with Salvor.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hober Mallow is such a King for this. The lack of respect. This is so funny. They really didn't see that one coming, did they?! Also Cleon should've stayed under Demerzel. Honestly, if i'm under Demerzel… I'm staying there.

BEKI WAS SUCH A GOOD GIRL SHE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE. I'm getting really tired of having my heart be broken. There's nothing much left of it.

What I love so much about Day, every Day, is how stupidly dumb they can be sometimes. Going to Terminus… Right… This is such a brilliant plan my dude. Not at all completely stupid. And of course, if the woman whose entirely family you had assassinated (and who KNOWS about it) is encouraging you to go, of course you should.

Day: keep my bride-to-be safe Dawn: don't ya worry buddy. I'll keep her safe and warm in my bed.

Alright, Salvor is alive. I'm forgiving you a little bit.

You know, I wonder how the Haris would interact with each other. Vault!Hari is very cold, hard and detached. He feels like a program. He reminds me of the Architect in Matrix Reloaded, actually. Drown!Hari feels far more human, Would they see each other as brothers, or would they fatally end up hating each other, for wanting to claim sole ownership of OG!Hari's heritage. At least Vault!Hari took pretty well the fact that he was the left hand lol

Poly and Empire are both wrong. Demerzel, too, saw both of Seldon's crises.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. My brain isn't built to endure slightly off chronology without at least a bit of a warning. I'm being mindfucked and they're not even giving me a head's up beforehand. How unkind. Speaking of, Constant is just... super horny. I get it, being close to death can be an aphrodisiac. But good grief, pick your moment!

I CALLED IT!!! I CALLED IT!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT! I'm so freaking brilliant. I'm so stupid but also so smart!!!!!!! Mother Magic is a goddamn nutjob. She's bloody insane. BUT I CALLED IT.

Goddamn it. I called it too. Demerzel was in charge the whole time. Psychohistory is for suckers, I should start my own cult.

6/10 : some parts dragged on, and it felt like a filler episode at times, but I love to be vindicted. Also, even though my heart is still broken in a billion pieces due to Hari's, and now Beki's death, I'm very fond of you, so consider your debt forgiven.

FNG

Hello, dear FNG! Your Foundation watches and episode reviews always delight me!

Before I go any further, I do want to point to this post of mine - I took several hours today to rewatch episodes 5-8 ONLY for the Ignis (drown!Hari, Gaal, Salvor) timeline to pick it apart.

Anywho - that’s the timeline I’ll pick first, since - as you may know, it’s really the only one I care for. To your comment to Gaal being disappointing - I’m with you on that BUT if you read the post I link above, my running hypothesis is that the majority of things we “see” on that planet hasn’t actually happened and occurs as a result of mental manipulation either by Tellem or by Gaal. To go a bit further, I happen to think that the timeline becomes “mostly sketchy” after Tellem approaches Gaal aboard the Beggar in Episode 6.

Re: Drown!Hari - honestly - I think the drowner has at least a trick up his soggy sleeve.

Salvor is always the one with the brain cells.

I liked vault!Hari here, and particularly amused that he ditched his commitment to math and his plan in SECONDS after Salvor mentioned that Gaal needs him. Oh, Hari, you old, lovely fool 😌

Day… every Day - yeah he’s clearly hopped up on idiocy, steroids, and terrible sex with Demerzel - he deserves to go to Terminus and die from tripping over his pants. Or from tetanus.

Demerzel RUNNING THINGS? Quelle surprise!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yeah I was also really upset by Beki’s death. You just don’t kill the pet on a tv show what the fuck 😩

Constant… Hober - I know other Foundation fans will hate me for this but - they have zero chemistry and I find Constant’s awkwardness off putting but to each their own.

MOVING ON TO YOUR FINAL SCORING:

Oh, I’d actually rate this one higher than 6, but possibly because I’m a sucker for “connecting the timelines” using that “vault!Hari scribbles Hober Mallow on the wall because he’s copying Gaal’s homework” trick. It amused me enough to automatically bump up the score to 8.

Nevertheless, I respect your honest review, as always 🫡🫡🫡🫡

Bonne nuit!

P.S. drown!Hari is bloody hilarious. I call him meat!Hari and Rat!Hari. Adding this one to the list.

#fng foundation watch #foundation spoilers #foundation #foundation season 2 #Hari seldon #Gaal dornick #salvor Hardin

[ravenadottir]

what do you think the viewers/eliminated islanders would think about henrik bringing back blake when mc was loyal during the hell that is casa amor?

ooh, ok, let's talk about that!

edit: (many, many, many asks have been "blocked in my inbox and this is one of them. sorry for the taking so long to answer but my drafts kind of swallowed most of the asks i put here)

eliminated islanders' reaction to henrik switching to blake

hannah. going through what she did (which it was at some level pretty brutal) i can see her sympathizing with mc, even if they weren't close before, to the point of calling the situation "embarrassing and gruesome" about mc having to watch henrik come back holding hands with someone new. "we saw what blake was all about and i'm afraid henrik made a terrible mistake. hopefully he realizes it sooner rather than later."

rocco. he would rave about connections and defend henrik. "the guy went to love island to find love. you forget that the whole point is to find someone who better suits you than just staying loyal to someone you don't see a future with." to which followers and the public who watches the show would be pretty radical about.

"coming from the guy that went behind a girl's back to every single one of the girls to try and stay in the house."

he would block and delete every comment but eventually would have to change the subject and stop projecting onto henrik's decision.

lucas. yeah, no, he's definitely saying/posting things like "nooo, rik, what are you doing???".

i would argue lucas' opinion on it roots in his own attraction towards mc, after all he's supposed to be "the one that got away" therefore he rates mc high. watching a close mate doing that to the girl he likes might make him angry, but not enough to say the truth publicly.

no, no, he would hide his real feelings as much as he could, especially if he knew returning was an option.

the public. it absolutely depends. we know the producers edit things the way they see fit, and judging by the show i think blake would've been the villain in the edit.

there's no possibility of watching the villa in a 24/7 scheme like they do with big brother, so i reckon the producers are showing strategy conversations between shannon and blake, and emphasizing how "dumb and gullible" henrik is.

they love doing this, particularly to guys that are a bit naive.

the public would be divided because half of them understand what blake had to do if she wanted to stay, the other half says "well, if you don't have a genuine connection then you shouldn't get the chance to stay."

i can see a few people twitting things like: "so, blake said everything he wanted to hear? and did everything accordingly to how he likes a girl to act? couldn't she just... i don't know... be herself?"

overall the viewers would be having a twitter war over henrik bringing her back, and defending mc, which i feel like it's the main reason why she became so popular moving forward.

#litg #litg blake #litg hannah #litg henrik #litg lucas #litg rocco #reactions #love island the game #litg s2 #litg season 2 #queue

[streetlites]

Questions :3

It takes me forever to get back on these things but I always intend to... even if it's a month down the line and I have to search for the notif. Thank you for thinking of me, @nectar-cellar

Why did you choose your url?

The current version? Initially, when I changed my name from furiouslydecaffinated (misspelt and I honestly couldn't think of anything that wasn't already taken) I wanted streetlight-halo, which was taken. Which turned into streetlightaurora which turned into streetlites because I dreaded any ask song games that I like playing but having like 2093847 letters made me think, never mind. lol... so. I have a shorter name for song ask games. really. But I really like it!

How long have you been on Tumblr?

2015! I started it to creep on cc creators way back when I was mm and wanted amazing cc from @budgie2budgie and @bsimth who actually took the time to use simlish lettering! I'm completely alpha but I still really appreciate a simlish swatch!

Do you have a queue tag?

I very seldom have a post queued to where I have to have dedicated tag. I use things like queueueueueued as a joke on the rare occasion I've got something waiting.

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I started my blog to like posts I intended to download. Then I started to like posts I, you know, liked and couldn't keep up with all of them. I think I about fell out of my skin when I reblogged a post about recoloring bedding and @saudade-sims4 and @deelitefulsims responded to help me out with them - I wasn't expecting helpful people! lol I think, without that little bit of interaction, I probably would have lurked and eventually deleted. Instead, it got me looking and interacting with more people on here.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I really liked that edit of Vera - it's got that pseudo-religious imagery I really dig. Before I was using a vorcha giving the finger... because I thought it was funny.

Why did you choose your header?

I was seeing a lot of pictures meant to serve as cover images for simblr stories and wanted to make my own.

What’s your post with the most notes?

I think one of the slanted "window" posts. It's cc, super old and obsolete. I don't think it counts.

How many mutuals do you have?

I don't know, I try to interact with most people that interact with me, which usually leads to mutuals? Maybe? I don't know and I don't know how to find out either which is probably for the best. hah.

How many followers do you have?

1.5k ... most of that came when I posted cc, not stories or edits. So I feel like the true number is much, *much* smaller.

How many people do you follow?

716. Though it feels like most are inactive. I'm probably not a very good follower either because I go stretches where I don't come on v. years ago when I was on every day.

Have you ever made a shit post?

It's all shitposts here.

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

Eh, not really. Some vague posting here and there and blocks. I've been really fortunate that most of the people I've had issues with are of a similar mindset as me that we're not going to get riled up over some dumb shit on the internet and just made a post before blocking.

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I think my eyes glaze over because I can't think of the last time I've seen one of those.

Do you like tag games?

Yes but I'm extremely slow to answer. T-T

Do you like ask games?

Ah, not really. But also yes. I have this thought that no one is going to ask me anything so I don't do them.

Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

A few of them? I wonder if they think they're tumblr famous? Or if I like their content so much that it doesn't matter, they're famous to me? 😅

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

If I regularly like/comment on your posts, I love you and your content. ♥

--

I think I was tagged this a month ago so I'm not going to tag anyone but if you're interested in doing it, I TOTALLY tagged @you.

#tagged #nonsims #saviorhide #I don't like this new tagging system #can I go back to the old editor? please?

[m-art-inaa]

Black annabeth🥺🦉.

I actually wanted to draw book annabeth and tv series annabeth together (like many people are doing with book percy and tv series percy) But I didn't have much time so I only drawed Tv series annabeth ( she doesn't look that much like Leah Sava' Jeffries, but I'm dumb and I cannot make portaits in my style that looks like the real person,and also I cannot draw 12 years old,so I draw Annabeth older)

Honestly,I would love to see Annabeth blonde BUT if the actress doesn't want to dye her hair it's totally ok.

Also,If you comment hate about the fact that Annabeth is black, I'll block you. Every Annabeth is a good Annabeth and if you want to draw her white you can, but don't comment racist things thx

For her hair I was inspired by this picture🥰

constructive criticism is accepted!!! So if I did something offensive I'll totally delete the post

Edit: yes, I did right now black annabeth with dark hair + brown eyes and black annabeth with dark hair + grey eyes

#annabeth fanart #black annabeth chase #annabeth chase #pjo #percyjackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percyjacksontvseries #art #drawing #fanart #daughterofathena #leah sava jeffries #percy jackson adaptation #riordanverse

[alottamoney]

Ngl i fell like youre analyzing way too much.

Tk are celebrities. 85% time they are aware what they are doing Publicly.

We only see what they want to show us .it's true a person cannot fake 24/7. But yeah they are trained + before appearing camera they do rehearsal. We can't see 10% of their life. They lived together for 10 years. They know about each other more than we do.they are not confused about their relationship we are confused lol.you barely know them from 4/5 years through lives..shoots..songs..etc. you are assuming their relationship? that's funny.Even they are doing fan service they are aware of it. It can be possible that they plan and practice all the drama & weirdness together. And I kinda fell like they are succeed:)no..just look you have 1% amount of interest in tk ship also not tk being solo fan but still talking about them everyday. That's how marketing work. And most of the anon say they are like this like that...tae is namedropping jk...jk ignoring tae...tae doing pr but jk seems ok otherside jk is encouraging jikook blah blah blah....tae act dumb weird... Jk act cringe and try to be orrange app man for y/n many more.But that's their business. Every media person is like that (iam not saying It's good) You cannot be realistic and wise if you are media person.and Famous person are the most trickiest.iykyk.

Ps: my relationship view (many others also maybe) is complicated than taekook😭 just because iam not in spotlight you cannot' assume it.

Why do i fell like do willn't post this. iam not attacking you .but people always avoid which they don’t like.

I'll delete this but if I'm avoiding you, it's because I don't understand what you're trying to say. Yes, I only talk about the 1% that I can see. What else am I supposed to talk about? Aren't you assuming as well by comparing them to your own complicated relationship? Do you feel judged by my comments because you see yourself in Taekook or Jungkook to be specific? I'm not talking about you though. I'm entertained by Taekook takes and when I find it more frustrating than entertaining like in the past two days I won't talk about them anymore and you won't have to read or not read my assumptions. You can still do that by blocking me but you chose to engage🤷🏻‍♀️.

[kokokerome]

more vents

this blog is and has always been a vent blog so if you don't wanna hear me cry and rant just don't look? I had such a good day today with my bf as he took me out on a little date day. He paid for my hair and nails and got me food and just cuddled. He apologized since he knows he's a fault. I forgive him, some internet drama isn't gonna break my relationship. He was really just pissed off over people making fun of our characters and my art. It's funny watching the people against me post that he's me of he's not real as if I haven't been posting about him for years on numerous of accounts.

Still though I'm sad. Like really fucking sad. I was bullied and made fun of behind my back by a artist I still really respected and then had my characters ripped apart. Characters I really adore. I even lost some of the art I was given and I had some artists I commissioned that I've been trying to contact again. It's like every month something shitty happens to me. I get a blink of happiness and just get teared down. I've always been depressed and even suicidal. The only coping mechanism I had was my art and is and I'm not even allowed to enjoy those anymore. Life feels so bleek. All this started because of some dumb cat oc. I just want to go back to my life a couple months ago. When I didn't have to be constantly dmed by people asking me to expose miorjah, or people showing me what miorjah said, or what they're up to. I can't even focus on my studies, I'm already broke, I can barely pay bills. Only thanks to the influx of commisions have I been making it by. So thank you to those people. But I feel so unmotivated. Even drawing now I just cry. I cry over characters I originally had a connection to but can't even look at without thinking of people who hate me.

What sucks is even through this I can't just disappear. I still need to make money, I still need to finish commissions and ychs. I'm being forced to keep staying in an environment where I'm contestantly being beat down. I'm not even allowed to move on apparently as every post I make gets discussed like I'm some terrible problematic person. Even the most innocent of things like me advertising my commissions, only to learn miorjahs fans are telling my clients to not commision me. Or me posting the writings of my ocs. Only for people to say I'm a bad writer and that my stories copy miorjahs. I can't even ignore everything, I've blocked and deleted so many crude messages and comments. But it's too overwhelming, I literally go into a panic attack every Dm I get because I don't know what will be there when I open it. I've havent really spoken on my mental state during this situation but it's broken. I've been broken down, congrats to miorjah, you won. You got what you wanted, my archive is banned. My art is hated, and nobody wants me around anymore. Can't wait for someone to dm me their celebration of my takedown on their discord even though I don't want to see it.

I would beg to be left alone but that's harrassment according to toyhouse. I'm gonna go quiet and just post art and keep writing when I can. I can't interact with the art community anymore.

#crossposted from twt #and FA #kokokerome #miorjah #pandsky #toyhouse #vent post #tw vent

[jojisribosomes]

Hey! I am the anon from a while back who talked of having a crush on Joji and no way to express this. I had forgotten that I had said something similar sometime before that comment and I apologize about that! I suck with social media upkeep and abandon/delete my accounts frequently so, sometimes, I have no clue what I say or do and where ( 1/2 )

The Twitter suggestion is a good idea since that seems to be where more of the celebrity talk is.. Tumblr is a little barren and sometimes awkward to use so I’ll keep that note tucked safely in my brain. But as you had said there is also the terrible side of the fandom that loves to soapbox. Lucky, this is the internet and blocking is infinite 👊🥴.

( 2/2 )

I'm so sorry for taking so long to answer this ask! I answered the previous one and got immediately busy :( Soapbox, haha, I didn't know that term! That's exactly what that kids love to do, trying to make us feel like witches in the middle age bc we love a man that besides being the most interesting and funny mf out there, has a fab hip set. Yes, you can block, but they form... what's the word? Cliques? So if you block someone for giving you shit bc they don't share an opinion with you, their whole friend group blocks you. But still they're not the biggest part of the fandom on Twitter. They try to enlist every new fan that joins the platform and tell them "don't interact with these people", but usually the new fans realize they're a group of toxic and mean people and leave the clique. About socials, I have the opposite problem you have. I can't shut up lmfao. I have the dumb idea that everyone needs to hear everything that crosses my mind.

Tumblr is kinda the best place if we talk about the quality of the fans, but it as barely any movement, so even with all the cons, Twitter is best I think, and yes, artists have a tendency to be more interactive with the fans there! This answer is all over the place I'm so sorry!

#yum yum

[venomous-spade]

So, I had a conversation when you made all of your socials private, and most of my friends said you wouldn't even make it a month without posting publicly again.

I said two months.

He said not even a week.

My friends were right, less than a month.

Good thing I didn't make a bet on that.

It's also really hilarious that I've had friends message me and say you deleted your Facebook, but had to let them know that you constantly stalk who likes, reacts, and comments on all of my posts and that you obsessively block anyone that does.

Even though you can't see my page from your regular account. That's how I know you have other accounts created to creep my page. Because my friends get blocked by you after reacting to my posts, even though your account can't see my page.

Even recently, which is sad and weird.

It's kinda like removing my partner from a group chat that was inactive since 2019 at 7am, or bitching at him for getting a new follower because you would obsessively search and memorize all of his friends and followers on every social media and you would see he had a new friend that was a woman. Or your other ex saying you used to leave things at his house so you would have a reason to show up and see him later, it's the same thing as you asking for some random, unimportant junk from my partners parents house so you would have a reason to see him in person. People think you're just dumb and well-meaning, but I view it all as extremely calculated and manipulative. I think you do everything you do on purpose, how else would you have remembered where every stupid, little, cheap garbage you've left at people's houses, but didn't bring it with you when you left.

So you forget to bring it with you, but you remember where you left it YEARS later?

You do that shit on purpose.

It's the weird, obsessive shit that you quietly do from the background, even when you're not making public posts.

That's how I see the intent behind the seemingly innocuous things you claim you're not intentionally doing. It's the same thing as making a post about an ex boyfriend that slept on the couch because you didn't want to have sex, but somehow you were stupid enough that you didn't realize people would know who you were talking about? No one believes you did that unknowingly.

It's the little, weird shit.

It takes two brain cells to be able to piece that together.

People aren't as dumb as you think they are.

[thegravityblog]

Friday: 26-05-2023/1

There’s this app called AskFM, where people can anonymously post shoutouts, questions and answer them. I don’t know how my ex-found out I was there or maybe she was on that app too and we never discussed. That app became her fav tool to manipulate and gaslight me (the only thing she does better) and unfortunately I thought maybe she has changed but that’ll never be the case. I thought in one-year I have transformed a lot I expected the same from her but she is from the league of people that will never change. I deleted the app and deactivated it, because it was always ringing in the back of my head, that what she has posted. The saying that says that “You cannot heal at the same place you got sick”, is very true. I need to cut off and withdraw completely from her to heal and live a happy life forever. It’s her life, she knows what to do with it. From now on, I am no one concerned.  Coming back to today, I am feeling much better maybe because I am not reaching out for the phone every 5 minutes to check on Ask. My focus is crystal clear and I am on a much happier spectrum. Also, have blocked that site on all browsers on my work system so I can’t open it at all. What I have realized from this whole fiasco is that some people don’t want you but the control and the power they have over you. And I am a personality, who is very much independent and I think of things rationally (unless I emotionally fall for someone), then in that case I am more of a dumb moron who will try to fix someone’s life but in return I get my wrecked big time and it takes me good amount of time to recover. I also blocked a couple of porno sites where she was uploading and it really feels like I have been set free off some invisible shackle that has been bothering me since the past one year (almost).  There are people who would change if they get this amount of love and care but some are just rocks, dumb and nothing affects them, in fact they take it as a matter of fun, play with that same love and care, feel a lil important , ahaan.. very important indeed because they are so delusional they think they’re the most beautiful and good people on this planet. They are delusional to the level where they are committing something morally wrong but if they have a reasoning in their head (which they have in all aspects of their lives) they’re gonna do anything until and unless they are getting their supply out of it. I worked all my day. This time is a break for writing my feelings out and reflecting on what went bad and what can go amazing. Writing these posts are not my source of validation or sympathy (I hate the latter), I love professional validation i.e. when someone loves my work, my team praises me of management, my clients want to be friendly with me and my investor loves me so much he wants his daughter to marry me. Lol. Just kidding. In short: Praise me for my intellect, work I’m flattered. I am not an Instagram star, never would be so there’s no chance of me addicted to validation (likes and comments). Listening to Layla by Eric Clapton, the live version performed at the Royal Albert Hall in 1991.  I usually don’t live for the weekends I’ll work tonight but fixing myself two glasses of single malt is something I am looking forward to. I’ll write it here, if I do. 

#journal #happy #feeling better #recovery #narcissistic abuse #friday #day

[newenglandchampion]

Most of my followers are bots/fake accounts, but honestly at this view, you can't tell. I am forever grateful that this platform has opened me up to new possibilities on making content to promote my Wrestling Persona! I look back at how I used to laugh and be strongly against creating an account because I thought, at the time, TikTok was dumb, and now it's another Social Media Account gaining popularity for me. Every one of my videos has hit at least double digit views (except 1 and I've 'justified' why) within hours of the video being posted. I have to give a huge Shout-Out to my siblings (who had accounts from practically day 1 of TikTok being launched) for not letting up about me making an account. And I also have to give a Shout-Out to #Skribbel24Customs for accepting my request to have a custom Figure (then 2 more) made up so I have a way to make content for my TikTok. Without my custom Figure(s) or the persistence of my siblings, I most likely would not have this minor success today. Thank-You all whom have shown their support in this journey of making wrestling content. Y'all are awesome!

While re-reading this to make sure there's no mistakes (please tell me if I missed any), I remember a comment I got on one of my videos. It said something to the effect of "what's it like having no views or fans?" I just tried to find the exact comment, but the person who posted the comment has either deleted their account and/or blocked me because I found the video, but can only see my response. I feel like my content since creating this account has gotten better. Am I the best Content Creator out there? Far from it, but I'm always striving to make better content than before. If you honestly have any suggestions to further improve my future content after looking over my past content, please share it!