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#even though i don't think i technically am?
fryday · 3 days
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MAY OKAY this is kinda reachinggg but i need to chime in with my theory on the moving out thing. i find the phrasing intersting when phil says "we almost didn't get a place together." because that sentence on it's own, to me, implies he means the first place they had together (so the machester flat). bc if you're moving in w/ someone for the first time you say "we're getting a place together" but if you've been living with them, you'd say like "we're moving to a [new] place" right? now i'm gonna ignore the moving out part for a second and skip to something else. phil says that dan said "we don't have that stress of being in a new york apartment on our own, and trying to live life for the first time." this also strikes me as intersting bc technically phil lived on his own in manchester for a whole year, so what is the "we" in this situation?? which brings me to this: dan historically and still does talk like he lived with phil during his year in uni/phil's year of living "on his own." phil has also mentioned multiple times how dan was always over. so lowkey, i kinda think that when phil said "dan wanted to move out" he was just spinning the truth a little bit to make the situation sound simpler and also more dramatic. i can imagine a world in which after dan's first year of uni, where he spent more time at phil's flat than in his dorm, he told phil they shouldn't officially move in together (i.e. "get a place") because he wasnt productive/they both needed their time to live alone (bc at that point, phil probably didnt feel like he was living alone even though it was "his" flat). does this make sense or am i reaching way to far 😭😭😭
OKAY? OKAY! POINTS ARE BEING MADE. YEAH.
i see wyim about the "getting" a place vs "moving" into a different place, fr. like when i first watched dnpfttt (lmao), given the context of it being posted just a year ago and phil not really specifying, i just assumed when he said "getting a place" he worded it that way because buying and owning and designing a whole ass house together is very different/much bigger than just renting a new one. so it seemed more like - we're GETTING this place rather than just shifting.
BUT i see your manchester apartment vision. i see it. and i love your post about how dan just took on the role of being phil's housemate and never changed his mind about it since 😭😭😭
the only thing i wonder is, dan said he considered moving out because if he were sad and lonely he'd make more "content", but at that point youtube wasn't a critical thing for him to be producing for! so? hm. considerations to consider
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first i wanna say that the royalty au fic was soo enjoyable to read!! and can i request platonic!headcanons with piper mclean x daughter of hades?? where the readers like kinda scary and off putting and they somehow create a bond with piper😭 i’m also sure ur inbox is going to be flooded with requests so take ur time !!
⋆⭒˚.⋆ platonic! piper mclean x daughter of hades! reader hcs
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𝜗𝜚 content...platonic! piper mclean x daughter of hades! reader hcs 𝜗𝜚 warnings...lanauage and (technically) sexual innuendos 𝜗𝜚 letter's from the author...ta da!!!! After doing this, i realized i have a negative grasp on piper's character lmao- (pretty sure I didn't like her as a kid but tbh i dont really remember as for the whole of the lost hero i was completely distracted by leo and jason-) so, i don't know how good or bad this is but uh it's here!! so enjoy ig but if you don't no worries we'll just forget this ever happened!!
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-`♡´- "hey, you look cool and lonely. wanna be friends?"
-`♡´- what an opener, am i right???
-`♡´- i don't think piper is one of those people to be like, ashamed lmao
-`♡´- so im sure she had no problem marching right up to you and asking to be friends
-`♡´- though, this is a little jarring at eight in the morning over your bagel, but you let it slide because she seemed to have good intentions
-`♡´- and also, she called you lonely...which was true, but most people don't just say that.
-`♡´- especially not to a kid of the big three (mother fuck the big three, it's just big me-)
-`♡´- you simply shrugged and nodded, which caused piper to nodded back before returning to her table.
-`♡´- you didn't think anything of the interaction, shrugging it off and nearly forgetting about it, until piper came up to you later and started talking to you about your earrings and your clothes and basically everything else under the sun
-`♡´- and, strangely enough, you didn't mind the daughter of aphrodite, not one bit
-`♡´- in fact, you found her company...endearing.
-`♡´- from that point on, it was hard to find the daughter of hades with out her bestie daughter of aphrodite
-`♡´- she brought out a fun side in you and sometimes you were able to keep piper from going completely crazy
-`♡´- hang outs in the arena is a must
-`♡´- partially to train but also to watch all the other cute demigods get sweaty and flustered
-`♡´- i know you guys talk about crushes like you would not believe, code names and all
-`♡´- but the code names are always like 'abe lincoln' and 'angel food cake' which def have a meaning that only you guys know
-`♡´- ALSO big on the whole 'sweet treat' thing
-`♡´- i know daddy tristan mclean be keeping piper's credit card MAXED
-`♡´- and i also know piper would only enjoy spending it on her friends
-`♡´- sometimes, just for shits and giggles, you and piper trade aesthetics
-`♡´- they aren't super dissimilar but it's noticeable enough
-`♡´- ummmm matching pjs for the sleepover??? YES YES YES
-`♡´- obvi pipers are pink and yours are black, duh!
-`♡´- but they are still matchy matchy
-`♡´- and horror movies are BIG at these sleepovers, which also includes themed snacks
-`♡´- "should i be concerned about whether or not the blood in these cupcakes is real?" piper asked, eyeing them and you suspiciously
-`♡´- "it's not animal blood if it makes you feel better," you teased back.
-`♡´- "that does, in fact, not make me feel better."
-`♡´- that being said, you are the biggest defender of piper and her vegetarian
-`♡´- will fight anyone who tries to give piper meat, even on accident
-`♡´- but, you've also DEF bought piper a shirt that says something along the lines of 'the only meat i eat is roast beef ;)' or 'eat pussy, it's organic!"
-`♡´- piper wears them, unironically
-`♡´- AND SHE FUCKING ROCKS THEM STFU-
-`♡´- you guys aren't really known for your raw moments, but late at night, when you're both lying in bed after a sleepover, the strong sense of girlhood just takes you over and you can't help but spill your guts.
-`♡´- "you know, you're my best friend. thank you for, uh, calling me a loser basically."
-`♡´- "of course. i'm glad you were being a total loser that day so that we could be losers together from that point forwards."
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cinnamon-bunni · 15 hours
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💙💛🧡123 Headcanons🧡💛💙
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bc I love them so much........they are everything to me your honor dhushadhhsjajdhsjai am so normal about these three
These three have the best dynamic to ever your honor
we have the Tired Mom, the (not) Cool Older Brother, and the Loser Older Brother (that you forget is technically an older brother). what else would you ever want?
like??? Lucifer needs to put the two on a leash whenever they go out shopping. i mean he has to do that for all of his brothers but its upsetting that he needs to do it for these two as they should be the most well-behaved
but Levi is on the verge of summoning lotan because he didnt get a limited time figurine of a sanrio x ruri-chan crossover and mammon is currently trying to start up what appeared to be a pyramid scheme, so no these two were not to be trusted alone
But most days are good days though! Mammon behaves sometimes because Lucifer says if he's good then he can get a special treat; and Levi behaves majority of the time outside, but that's often because Lucifer handed him a tablet before leaving the car and he's been on it and not paying attention for the whole trip, just trailing behind Lucifer
In a similar vein, I think while Lucifer is trying to catch Levi up on the details of an important student council meeting he missed, the second he sees Levi's eyes start to wander he's quick to pull out with a subway surfers video or smth to keep his attention to the matter at hand (he also keeps a small bag with grimm in it to jingle in front of Mammon; it has the same affect)
Lucifer often looks at his brothers and is like "i expect more out of you two," and Mammon is like "¯\_(ツ)_/¯" and Levi responds by insulting Lucifer with so many internet slang words that Lucifer only knows half of at most but he knows he should be offended
You know how most people know a trend/meme is dead when the older generations get their hands on it? yeah that's Lucifer. Mammon cringes so hard whenever any internet term leaves his older brother's mouth. Levi cried once when Lucifer used the word "poggers"
(Lucifer, of course, is very much aware of this, and uses this to his advantage. He does his best to pay attention to the types of terms Levi uses, but they change like everyday and Lucifer is still always somehow a few years behind
Speaking of embarrassing older brothers: Mammon is such a col older brother and brags and boasts about this fact all the time and Levi is soooooo embarrassed by him its unreal. Like how the hell is this scumbag, who isn't even a tenth as cool as Lucifer is, his older brother. how did this happen
Obviously the label of "older brother" is used less the younger they get--Lucifer is The big brother; Mammon is an older brother but often isn't viewed as one (despite desperately wanting to be seen as one bc he loves his brothers soooo much he wants to protect them so badly I could go on for forever about it tbh); and Levi is more of "oh right i'm older" sort of older brother. he's like a babysitter than anything else
These three definitely get together in Lucifer's study to get drunk and talk tho you know they do. They all have to deal with so much shit from the younger four (most don't respect them as older brothers, don't listen to them, don't heed warnings about cursed objects (that necklace is cursed Asmo don't put it on stop putting it on-)), and so the three just get together and complain <33
They also coo a lot abt their younger brothers! Either when they get together and drink, or in their group chat. i mean, this is a bit canon already as the three talk about their brothers in their groupchat, but thinking about how they talk abt their brothers behind their backs (in a positive way) is sooo cute <3
also thinking abt how the three work very well together when needed! need to work on a larger chore together (grocery run, errands that need to get done either for their own reasons, for Diavolo, or for RAD)? usually lucifer and levi get the most work done when paired together! lucifer is often good at making sure levi stays on task, and is able to deal with his possible whining without making it worse
if mammon and levi usually leave with an 80% of either getting off track, or not getting anything done to begin with. on a good day they'll take an hour longer than needed
lucifer and mammon can get a lot of work done as well together! lucifer just has to keep a tight leash on mammon <3 but mammon, despite how much he gets on lucifer's nerves, steps up a lot when it's just him and lucifer
like, lucifer can trust mammon with just about anything...like yeah, hes annoying to all hell and back, but he's loyal and trustworthy. he's his brother, who lucifer can trust to keep him in check and go along with his plans when things go awry. they trust each other so much even when everything has gone to shit <33
and you know that even tho levi is big brother himself, lucifer and mammon still tease him bc he's still a little brother in their eyes <3 and the both are always just so incredibly proud of him when he learns and grows and gets out of his shell after they all fell
lucifer cares so much for all of them, and hes so proud of mammon and levi of what they've become. theyre responsible and caring and so full of love for the rest of their brothers and the people in their lives?? like. even after everything he's put them through, the pain he cause, the two still held up their heads and helped their younger brothers when they needed it. lucifer couldnt ask for better brothers
and levi and mammon?? following lucifer to the ends of the earth. hes done so much for this family and yeah, hes such a pain in the ass sometimes that it gets on their nerves, but they know how much he cares. how his heart bleeds for his family. he would do just about everything for this family, and mammon and levi would be right behind him with it
the three clash and get on each others' nerves often but like. those three? their bond is stronger than anything in the Three Realms. they all have each other's backs and would all just do everything in their power to protect their family and have them all safe <3 and really thats all the three of them could ask for
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vickyvicarious · 19 hours
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"it is maddening to think that of all the foul things that lurk in this hateful place the Count is the least dreadful to me; that to him alone I can look for safety, even though this be only whilst I can serve his purpose."
The above passage is from May 16 after the vampire women tried to drink his blood, as he realized. Today on May 19 Jonathan writes three letters to be sent home (to Mr Hawkins) on various days of June, the final one being for June 29, the end of his life.
The thing I expected was for Jonathan to wonder why he's being kept alive after today/May 19th. Dracula is, as Jonathan said, his safety "whilst I can serve his purpose". But what is his purpose? Dracula had all his real estate papers signed on the 12th (when he ordered Jonathan to stay extra and that he'll take no refusal). He is actually fluent in English. Now, a steady stream of letters will be sent to Exeter throughout June, pretending that Jonathan's returning home.
Dracula can just kill him now, or just give him to the vampire women. No one would know. I'm sure he wants Jonathan first, claiming him and claiming the lion's share, but not now when he has months yet to leave. Then once, as Dracula said, he's "done with him" maybe he'll leave the rest to the other vampires.
But I wonder why Jonathan isn't wondering why he's being kept alive until the end of June. I suppose a Doylist reason is to not give the possible answer away yet, Watsonian being him fearing to speculate without answers?
Yeah, I've wondered this myself in the past. I think for me it comes down to a combination of several factors, since there really is no single quote that points to a specific reason Jonathan seems so convinced.
Before I get into those, I do want to mention that it is possible there is still some business to be done. It's a popular interpretation that they finish the last of that all on May 12, and it does make sense with the timeline. I personally believe it. But technically, I don't think Jonathan ever mentions them signing the final papers. He says he answers all of Dracula's questions, but that could be just referring to the ones in that conversation: "When he had satisfied himself on these points of which he had spoken, and I had verified all as well as I could by the books available, he suddenly stood up and said:—" ...and then Dracula brings up him staying. Again, the interpretation that they finish all their work in that conversation is totally valid/likely. But if someone really wanted to argue that there is still some amount of actual legal work to be done, I don't believe canon says anything outright to the contrary.
That's not really my take though. Here are the reasons I think Jonathan believes he will survive until the end of June, in no particular order:
What Dracula said on May 16. He heard the Count drive the other vampires back with the words:
"Well, now I promise you that when I am done with him you shall kiss him at your will. Now go! go! I must awaken him, for there is work to be done."
Now, in the moment, Dracula's line about having work to do seems most likely to be a fib just to get them to go. 'I'm busy, scram,' essentially. But he is very clear that he isn't done with Jonathan yet. (Though the fib about being busy itself could suggest that he might keep Jonathan alive and away from them longer than he himself needed/wanted to, just as a taunt/power play against these vampire ladies. But that's less relevant since he clearly does seem to want him still.) As you point out, Jonathan notes it himself, that he will be able to look to Dracula for safety so long as he serves his purpose. The fact that Dracula comes back within a couple of days to get him to write these specifically dated letters I think suggests to him that he is likely to stand at least a chance of serving that purpose until those dates. At least, it seems that way given...
Jonathan knows Dracula by now. He can probably tell just how much Dracula really enjoys him, and that said enjoyment is in many ways what's keeping him alive. Probably at least to some degree in a sense of enjoying his company, and that is somewhat relevant since he can play on that to stay interesting even when he's not outright useful/needed. But also, importantly, Dracula's particular brand of sadism comes into play here. He loves his mind games and multilayered conversations. He's been making jokes about his own undead/supernatural status basically as long as Jonathan has known him. He enjoys manipulating Jonathan. He enjoys giving him orders and warnings and then watching to see if he will obey or not. Jonathan has disobeyed significantly twice already, by trying to get into all the locked rooms and by sleeping outside of his room. And while he was discovering locked doors early on just while going about his business, he made no move nor seemed to have any particular designs/likelihood to sleep outside his room until Dracula brought it up first. Maybe you could argue that he's been looking more tired/likely to nap about as this nocturnal existence becomes more telling on him, but still there was no real build-up at all to the warning. Which is just one of the many reasons I read it as intentional bait.
So, knowing how Dracula likes to throw out these sorts of hints, I think it reasonable for Jonathan to think he will live that long. It would be just like him to use these letters to subtly tell Jonathan: no one will know where to look for you when you go missing, I could kill you long before with no consequences, but why would I if you play along and please me? ...so play. along.
There's also the fact that Jonathan may know when Dracula plans to leave. Now I certainly don't think he knows his exact itinerary or anything. Probably not even the date he expects to go, and just how closely it lines up with Jonathan's final false letter. But it seems entirely reasonable to me for the topic to have come up during all their work talk. There's a very good chance Jonathan knows that Dracula is planning on leaving for England in a month or two, or even just "around midsummer", etc. And if he does, I think he could add that in with the previous two points I mentioned to reach the conclusion that Dracula intends to keep him around until about when he himself is going to leave. (With the caveat, always, that Jonathan must make himself interesting/nonthreatening enough that he doesn't get bored before then.)
But finally, all those things aside... Jonathan has a tendency to fixate on things. In doing so he can miss other possibilities. And I think the encounter with the vampire ladies served to, somewhat despite himself, dismiss a lot of his fear of immediate danger from Dracula himself. He's aware that he is playing a long game under threat of being thrown the vampire ladies early, and kind of gets blinders to the fact that Dracula himself might physically harm him before then. This really reaches its height near the end of his stay with his seeming obliviousness to the possibility of Dracula biting him even when the guy outright says the "tonight is mine" line. And while I think he does get bitten and just doesn't remember it because that's often what can happen when a vampire entrances/bites you, his not recognizing the possibility beforehand is something that has made several people cry censorship (on a Watsonian level from Jonathan or Mina, and on a Doylist level from Stoker because he knew it wouldn't be accepted). But I think it can be attributed to a combination of Jonathan getting fixated on the ultimate threat (the women) and also on some level recognizing that if Dracula was going to give him to them after he was through, then he'd likely survive whatever Dracula planned for him anyway, so it wasn't as necessary to focus on. (Some of his single-mindedness definitely reads as more calculated at times.)
All this to say, Jonathan may just be overlooking the possibility that Dracula isn't planning to keep him around that long. That or he may be aware of the idea but is dismissing it without mention because it's totally unhelpful to dwell on. He has to approach the situation the same way regardless, fawning to please Dracula while looking for a chance at some other way out. He's stalling for time no matter what, so why not assume he has the most time it seems reasonable to hope for, at least in order to keep himself from completely breaking down and giving up before then. For some semblance of morale if nothing else. He's definitely not going to live past then, but maybe, maybe, until then.
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lonicera-edulis · 10 months
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stagefoureddiediaz · 28 days
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Something something about Buck and learning and or teaching.
Something something about Buck teaching when he really needed to be learning.
I just keep thinking about how the show has increasingly - especially last season - put Buck into the role of 'teacher' - including his coma dream. (i'm using teacher for the lack of a better term!) and how in the aftermath of the coma dream - he's been trying to teach but it hasn't worked - instead he's been learning.
I've been musing on the fact that even back in season 1 Buck has been in a teacher role -
Abby learning to chose herself and go for her happiness,
Bobby learning to let people in and Buck being a major part of that because of their developing father-son type relationship
'teaching' Eddie that he could rely on other people for help
Maddie learning at Bucks hand that she didn't need to keep running, that she could lean on him for support and build a new life for herself
Ravi being tutored by Buck in the fire house
even Lucy being given advice by Buck - teaching her through his own experiences in dumb luck
Buck making himself into a teacher in his coma dream and the idea that all these people he has helped teach teaching him that he has a place with them and that he is important
and so many more examples through the seasons that I won't list or I'd be here forever!
Because there has been a lot of emphasis on teaching and learning since Buck woke up from his coma - he learnt he was good at maths, but then wasn't allowed to help Chris with his maths homework because it would be cheating.
used his maths skills to win at Poker - but got taught lessons even in victory - rather than teaching others lessons (whatever they might have been)
Natalia being interested in him because he could teach her about death and things going south pretty quickly when it became evident that Buck needed to learn how to live again rather than be stuck in death
And now we've had several mentions by Tommy of him teaching Buck things - teaching him to fly, teaching him Mauy Thai, all the way to him being his bi awakening is teaching him about a part of himself he didn't know. Things are turned on their head - Buck is the student not the master now
Even with Eddie this season, we've seen him teaching Buck things - rather than Eddie learning from him - Eddie handing over this really important thing going on with Chris - Eddie knowing that Buck would be a better option - that Chris would open up to him more - is teaching Buck about his importance in the Diaz family - re-enforcing that he is part of their life. Its also Eddie who has had the good advice for Buck this time rather than the other way round.
Something something about 'you like to be the guy with the answers' to Buck becoming the guy with the (maths) answers - only for it to fade away and now he's having to learn
Something something about the tie to Buck and death and the resurrection and how Christ was the teacher up to and immediately after his death and resurrection when he left others on earth to spread his teachings and he ascended to learn at the right hand of god
Something something about how that is the key to happiness and that is what Buck has figured out and that is why his journey to figuring that out has had him wearing the bright blue - because in Christianity - that shade of blue is the colour of the kingdom of heaven (because it is the colour of the sky!) so putting Buck in it at all these key markers of his journey is showing him as being on the road to ascension.
This post is a mess - I don't even know what it is any more! I started with one idea about teaching and Tommy and then more kept coming and we ended up here!!!!
#I know technically that they all teach and learn from each other and that others were also involved in these scenes#but I'm just interested in the fact that the tables have now been turned on Buck specifically and he is now the student#I think thats interesting as a character study - Buck who learnt to survive on his own and teach himself now getting to go back to learning#look here I am - atheist me blabbering on about religious symbolism around Buck once again!!!#Im fascinated in it though - especially in relation to Eddies catholic guilt and the way that the show is using much more#scientific symbolism around him - hearts and guts and the mind - all working organs (or groups of organs)#that have these metaphorical and intuitive attributes attached to them#but all have important real world functions that a human need to survive#and the fact that we've got Buck to this point of 'ascension' and Eddie effectively working on the last of the three - the gut#well I think that is pretty telling - once Eddie has his gut under control/ worked out (catholic guilt) then he will be in a position to#'ascend' as well.#and don't even get me started on the triangle symbolisim within all of this - the holy trinity and the trifecta of heart mind and gut#because they are playing into the triangles this season - literally every where!!!#I feel like at this point if they put Buck in purple (esp if hes wearing it when buddie go canon) - the holiest of colours and#one associated with magic -then I will be the one ascending - because that would be the ultimate#this show is insane!!#it makes me insane - I'm insane!!#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 abc#911 meta
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ride-a-dromedary · 8 months
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I have no base for this, but Halsin seems like the type who would settle in the middle of the group with fruits (that he likely foraged) and little wooden bowl in tow and just start cutting them unprompted and offering them to everyone else.
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ctl-yuejie · 1 year
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ramblings on Li Ming (and Heart) and homosexuality
moonlight chicken has so many things to offer in terms of technical beauty and interesting themes but what i cannot stop thinking about is the different ways they approach homosexuality in the story.
we have Wen who has a rainbow flag on his desk and pictures of him and Alan on the wall. Wen, who openly flirts with Jim and has no qualms talking openly about his one night stand. Wen, whose step father knows about his sexuality and is close enough with him to discuss his love life.
Kaipa we don’t know too much about. But his mom knows and is supportive and some of the vendors and the chicken family seem to know. But if anyone was questioning in what reality this show is set with all the class discussion and corona featuring, his part of the story shows that homophobia exists and he is worried about how he fits in with his own family, the expectations of his mother and possible the awareness that he makes the family he has “different”.
Jim is arguably even more visibly gay than Wen in terms of what we see throughout the show. He opened the shop with his ex, they prayed at the temple together and even though he objected due to proprities sake eventually they loudly declared their love to each other and the whole neighbourhood knows. Wen somehow feels like he is living in the remnants of a bubble: his circle of friends seems very queer, his closest friend and the whole gym seem to be all part of that as well. This only might change now with him questioning his work and breaking up with Alan: some gatherings he won’t attend anymore apparently.
And finally, we have Li Ming. At school he doesn’t seem to open up to his classmates on most things and additionally is in the closet. While there wasn’t anything alluding to homophobic rethoric being spread at school we can see how the heteronormativity gets to him and feel that there must be good reason as to why no one knows. And it could just be how Li Ming is judging the situation based on vibes, we don’t know. His mother is or at least was homophobic but at the same time he is raised by his gay uncle who is surrounded by other gay people. And I love how it feels like this might have given him enough security to be comfortable with his own sexuality but how it also isn’t enough to shield him from the world at large.
With so many great shows coming out of Thailand and most of them getting more and more political it just feels so real and 2023 to me that Li Ming is part of a generation that knows who they are but still have to battle with the shadow that homophobia has cast way before they were born.
#moonlight chicken#i had this in my draft for a week now thinking if i'd get the time i could put this more leloquently but that was a lie as it turns out#might edit some stuff later#but for now i just have to write about how fantastic this show is for giving these varied realities of queer life#which are all influenced by their environment but also in the way the characters connect across generations#we don't know if him had a gay mentor who could've guided him#whereas li ming technically has him and his neighbourhood friends to reference#but li ming - understandibly so - seems more closeted than anyone else (minus Heart possigly)#in middle school everyone around me proclaimed how supportive they were of lgbt+ rights#but as soon as one guy came out he become the TALK of the school for weeks#he got reduced to his sexuality#and when he dated a girls some months after he got called attention seeking for coming out as gay before#and most people thought they were doing an open-minded thing#and despite knowing that i know that i am not the only queer kid who decided to not come out lest we'd become that talk of the whole school#and our dating lives scrutinized#even though all of us were super comfortable with who we are#and for me that was mostly the case because i had adult lesbian role models close to my family#so i knew i was good and that nothing strange was going on#but still - this othering made the school environment hostile enough to keep me in the closet#so yes - i am extremely delighted with how they depict this dynamic with li ming
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sysig · 2 months
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You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Kayako#And Teisel's there technically#*Die again - he's sticking with his track record lol at least he's consistent#Ghost/Curse GF arc!! I enjoy seeing ZEX happy but I am Concerned for him lol#ZEX be attracted to something/one that won't brutally murder him challenge - difficulty impossible#His affection for the grotesque and monstrous - I mean while it's admirable he does regularly put himself in dangerous situations!#Runs solely on the Suspension Bridge Effect lol - attraction and fear so conflated in his mind <3#I keep thinking of his human instincts as specifically Max's instincts since it's his body - Max's self-preservation and fear and hunger#Which ZEX dutifully ignores lol Max's body tells him to bolt and privately replies like ''Yes yes in a moment'' haha#His fascination wins out! To his own detriment haha#Although I say all that as though I don't relate in my own way - I have maybe just a few too many notes relating to ZEX lol#It's always been hard for me to get into horror in the way it's intended to spook and scare because I tend to get sad :')#So many monsters and ghosts and creatures are victims of circumstance! Like Kayako! As she is here she's not even malicious just dangerous#I've never seen the Grudge so it's only speculation but it seems very sad that she was tethered as a Curse rather than a malignant spirit#Like a battery moreso than an individual - what a terrible after-existence! It makes me sad to consider!#ZEX reaching out to her in his own way is very sweet <3 He's so biased towards his darlings hehe#In a way being human does suit him - we'll packbond with anything that Might have even the slightest inclination to not maim us lol#And the way he personifies her! (VUXonifies her?) Reading intention or emotion into her actions with no proof and no understanding!#The way he ''tries to read her face'' as if he hasn't been struggling with that this entire time - with other humans who can tell him so ♪#His pride is so delicious <3 He is so easily blinded to his own shortcomings in the face of pleasure and the potential for connection!#It's no wonder DAX worries about him so much hehe ♥#It also always makes me so happy to have something fit together so perfectly like those last two hehe <3#That vine didn't exist when this happened! But there it is!! I love newer memes on older media hehehe ♪♫
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coquelicoq · 7 months
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after spending the last week very stressed out and losing sleep over how much i regretted giving my number to a stranger, and after talking to several friends who all gave me the same very wise advice ("decide first what YOU want out of this and make decisions based on that" sounds obvious now but honestly blew my mind), i saw food truck man again today and he asked me if i have a boyfriend, told me he's all alone, hugged me twice, and tried to kiss me. i texted him after to be like just to be clear, i don't want a boyfriend, but i hope you find somebody! and he texted me back: i don't need a girlfriend. i'm married.
#AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA#i was actually so upset after he tried to kiss me. technically he did kiss me but not on the mouth because i would not turn my head lol#but i was like you know what i am an adult and i am going to be soooo mature right now. watch how mature i can be#and sent him this text#and then got that response and honestly now i feel a lot better about everything?? for some reason#i am not really understanding all of my reactions to this situation i need some time to process#but ultimately i have learned some new things about myself (or i probably will once i have processed lol)#and i'm actually quite proud of that text because i could have psyched myself out too much to send it#which i think would have just made me continue to be stressed about this#but i didn't!! i wrote it and i sent it and i didn't overthink it. yay me#sorry 2 everyone who wanted me to have a sexy time but it turns out i did not want to have a sexy time!#and i decided to take some advice that i should only do things i want to do <3 thank you to all my wise friends#it is a work in progress because he asked if he could hug me and i didn't really want to do that but i said okay#baby steps! working on it!#i feel insane though because i usually have a much easier time saying no than most people i know#so i don't know what's happening. it's because i gave him my number. i felt like by doing that i had consented to other things#but i hadn't. and even if i had i can withdraw consent at any time. yes. i do know this
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gale-in-space · 2 months
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Shout-out to my buddy Darren ily dude
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theduchessofnaxos · 5 months
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This paper is actually going quite well.
Too bad it's complete bullshit.
#I'm not lying#but I'm definitely not being brutally honest about the historiography here#look the first few works are technically all social histories but there's a qualitative difference from the later ones#and the politics is still important enough that I should get to call them political histories#Also frankly I don't care#I just need to finish the damn paper by midnight and then I will be free of this fucking course#I have never in my LIFE dreaded going to class before this course#And honestly? It's soul crushing! I have no will to succeed here!#My only motivation is that I liked the rest of the semester and I need to pass this class to continue the program!#the professor asked for an additional evaluation (still anonymous) and I'm torn about how brutal to be#because on the one hand it was an enlightening course and I am definitely better equipped as a historian than I was three months ago.#on the other hand every single one of my classmates had completely given up by the end because no matter what we did it wasn't good enough#and also the professor was just fucking mean a whole bunch. But in that subtle way where you feel crazy for noticing.#so the class was horrible but I don't want him to feel horrible but also maybe he deserves it??? I can't even tell if he's actually a dick#or just acts like one#which is perhaps not a meaningful distinction but if he doesn't mean to I'd feel bad being too harsh#though several incidents make me think he meant to#blegh. It'll all be over by midnight!#And then I can focus on studying for women's history and - joy of joys - writing a syllabus about Victorian fashion and politics#I fucking love historical fashion that's going to be absurdly fun
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justagaycryptid · 1 year
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Haven’t finished Hannibal yet, on episode 4 of season 3, but I fucking hate how Hannibal is just... good at everything. 
Like the bitch doesn’t just play music he composes his own music too. He’s an excellent artist. He’s a gourmet chef. He’s a talented surgeon. A master of words. Somehow just knows fuckin everything. He even swims for gods sake. 
I want to see him be bad at something. 
Like I want to see him put on a pair of skates and then immediately eat shit. 
#shouting into the void#or like put him on a snowboard because I also think that would be funny#I am rotating him around in my mind like a microwave#bitch (affectionate+derogatory)#god hes such a mary sue#and also a flaming homosexual that man is down BAD for will#I don't think gay sex would fix either of them but I think they should have it anyways#I also saw this blooper thing where Mads Mikkelsen said 'shut up bitch' on an outtake#and its literally so funny#Hannibal should be allowed to say bitch#actually now that I think about it does Hannibal even swear#Hannibal the type of guy to say that swearing makes you look uneducated or some bullshit#and will would be like 'no you need to use the right word in the right context and sometimes that word is fuck'#friend and I were also joking that Hannibal would be the type of guy to be like 'weve been dating in my head for a month now <3'#up there in his stupid fucking mind palace#dudes being all angsty and bitchy because he had a fight with his boyfriend#Hannibal the type of guy to trick someone (will) into signing marriage documents#then he'd look over with that expression he has and go 'hmm technically were married now'#though oh my god I liked a single hannibal post on instagram and now my entire feed is mads mikkelsen#like not even hannibal specifically but mads mikkelsen#like yeah I know a lot of people think hes a dilf but oh my god I am not that interested in the guy#he does a fantastic job as hannibal but I do not need to see him everywhere I promise
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I may be a monsterfucker, but I'm not immune to enjoying the concept of an immortal becoming mortal so they can share one flawed but wonderful lifetime with a loved one.
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aeide-thea · 8 months
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wot show is so obsessed with architecture and tbh i'm not mad about it???
#the number of like. elaborate little symmetrical rooms they have for things to happen in…#part of me is loling but part of me is like. you know what? they've got a theme. respect.#tvblogging#(also i'm just getting to 2x08 now and like. it IS funny being a show-only*)#[*ok technically i read like. two? three? of the books back in like 2020 or something but. they weren't Formative Texts of my Adolescence]#(bc i remember everybody on here was *freaking out* abt‚ i think‚ 2x07)#(and like. in retrospect i guess i understand what that was about! but i gotta admit it didn't quite have the same emotional weight for me)#(even though intellectually i understand it was supposed to)#(i mean i also think i like. often don't get that emotionally invested in romances i see onscreen?)#(not sure if that's fundamental to the medium for me or if it's because everything is so compressed)#(however i AM kinda thrilled abt this season's regendering of Uncommunicatively Angsting Blorbo vs Their Long-Suffering Support Person)#(also honestly i always really love when we don't have to do a whole performative abasing reconciliation situation)#(and someone's just like. look. our relationship is so much more deeply rooted than this one wobble. obviously i'll take you back.)#(i think honestly bc it's like. a confidence fantasy.)#(like you got SO much witcher fanfic where geralt had to‚ like‚ prostrate himself at jaskier's feet)#(to acknowledge the harm geralt had done him and how jaskier deserved so much better etc etc etc)#(and it just felt to me like the writers were really speaking to their own insecurities and what *they'd* personally need)#(bc that interaction would've thrown *them* into a tailspin so obviously it must've thrown jaskier into one)#(and like. that's valid or whatever‚ obviously! but like. sometimes don't you want to imagine what it's like to feel secure instead???)#(like 'actually i know i'm good‚ you know where to find me when you get over yourself and remember you know it too'?)
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automatonknight · 1 year
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art posted whatever. time to fucking. sew!!!!!!!!!!!
#i've made myself some new patches in the meantime (two loosely based on splat/on aaand one for the mojave express as i mentioned)#also i probably wont be posting more photos of my vest i got erm. scared sorries#i wanna do something star t/ek related too i've been watching a lot of it lately. at least more than i. used to eurm#i'll probably go with the little. pin they got? although i might just do a pin from clay or something. i have golden paint and shit so#i could even make it. 'realistic' to the show. whatever#mmmm what else#i've been having some troubles with the placement though? well whatever. it doesn't have to be perfect :] i'm having lots of fun that's#what matters! and the vest is really cool like. gender wise! i think i look awesome ^__^#the mojave express one turned out so great btw!! i love it so much. but i have to place it on the back unfortunately :((((#<i would sew it on one of the sleeves but i cut them off. oopsies!#whatever!!!! again. it's a fun project#oooh and thinking abt it i'd really want to do something dont st/rve related maybe! it really grew on me i don't think there's a single week#when i don't think about this game. maybe i'll do a spider?? <guy literaly named webber#OH MY GOD AND COMPUTERS AND ROBOTS AND MACHINES...i have to do something with that....#technically i DO have an aso inspired patch but i want something less subtle.....something that will make it clear i am NOT NORMAL!!!#about machines and automatons and computers and such!#ok well. that's a big wall of text. BOO!!!!
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