#but nothing too over-the-top. this time.

[gale-in-space]

Shout-out to my buddy Darren ily dude

#this is making me want to actually go back to school again lol #put me in undergrad again i'll annihilate them all like i did last time #that's a joke #i have a bachelor of arts #that's like nothing science with left humanities #help #i raghhh i love anatomy though it's so interesting #even if i am a squeamish little guy #ALSO to clarify: the thing i'm writing isn't technically whump i don't think? i just like medical imagery a lot #and yes okay wounds are happening #but nothing too over-the-top. this time. #anyway

[dylanconrique]

if anybody on this goddamn show deserves to have a completely stress free wedding, where not one! single thing!! goes wrong!!!! it's tim and lucy.

#*carly catalogs #i'm gonna say it with my full chest 'NO SHENANIGANS' #ABSOLUTELY NONE OKAYYYYY??????????? #i don't need to watch anymore of lucy spiraling (we're only 3eps into s6 and i have had enough) #if she didn't get first on the detectives exam then she at least deserved to land in the top 5 #they treated her so unfairly and were so short with her i wanted to leap through my tv screen #if i have to witness her spiraling like that OVER OR ON HER WEDDING DAY??????????? #i'll start a riot I AM LUCY CHEN'S N. 1 DEFENDER (behind tim of course) #she deserves nothing but the most lovely peaceful wedding day filled with joy #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #chenford #otp: you know me so well #this also goes for when she gets pregnant too #s3 was the most stressful season of the show just for the sheer amount of times angela had a gun pointed at her and was shot at #and even harper had to deal with a home invasion from a violent criminal while she was in labor #the only hiccup lucy should have is being forced to have her baby on the breakroom couch at the precinct to parallel ep 1x19

[stevesnailbat]

absolutely loveeeee when i can’t sleep because i’m plagued with the feeling that i’m the worst person to walk this earth 🤭

#feeling like the biggest piece of shit in the world <3 anyways #this is stupid but. i just need to get this shit out #getting bad grades on finals right after my friends do nothing to celebrate my birthday is so fun #that sounds so superficial but !!!! i’ve done something for. every. one. of. their. birthdays. over the last year #it just makes me sad because it confirms i AM and always will be the second choice friend #i feel like my fianc hates me all the time right now too but. that comes with the self deprecation me think #and to top it off my doctor says i’m f*t so 🥳 i hateeeeee myself #i just need to cry. sowwy #sitting in bed crying silently because i can’t do anything right <3

[front-facing-pokemon]

#another bonus under the cut where i got up under their big head to get 'em a little closer and a little more front-facing #aggron #aggron is just cool. a big metal bitch who *could* hug you but is probably actually just gonna obliterate you. is that anything #i think i prefer lairon more. it's kinda just a little metal creature and i think that's awesome but aggron stands up #and normally i'm a big big fan of when pokémon stand up. when everyone wanted sprigatito to not stand up i was like #please stand up. because i am a furry and i knew it was gonna become favorite pokémon material if it did. and it did and meowscarada is #wonderful and i love it and it's one of my top like 10 of all time. but aggron is like. i dunno. a little too gruff for me #i think aron and lairon are cute and i'm generally a fan of and user of cute pokémon but aggron is very. how you say. aggressive #and also… ron… aggressive ron. new show on netflix i just reinvented aggretsuko but for pokémon #also weirdly every furry on the face of the earth likes aggretsuko but for one i've never had a netflix account and for two i just #don't ever watch shows. it's just not something that works in my brain. having to get them‚ and then just taking the time to sit down and do #it just never does anything for me. the last show i watched was because i was over at a friend's house and he was like hey. we're watching #this show now. i want you to see this show. and it's a show that folks generally lamented for a lot of reasons so i was like iii dunno about #that one! but he was like no trust me it's fine. and then i was like. kinda uninterested at first but it turned out to be really good #and i'm still ashamed. that i liked it as much as i did. so i will not say what it is. it's not supernatural. it's a short-ish show #but like it was good and i didn't expect it to be. which has nothing to do with aggretsuko OR with aggron for that matter #literally idk. look it's distraction (AGGRON DISTRACTION)

[daily-scott-smajor]

259 - average day

#daily scott smajor #step one. start spiralling. grab the loaf of bread from the pantry #it being stale is alright. cut the moldy parts off #it will work for now. #step two. isolate from the world. grab the cheese from the fridge- the type you use is optional. the cheese expired last week but thats fin #im too tired to go to the store. #step three become a shell of yourself. grab the pan from under the oven #or wherever you keep yours. you did not clean it well enough last #time you made food it seems #as you can see burnt parts line the edges. this will do. #step four. make sure you no longer feel connected to the situation at hand. grab the butter or mayonaise (i learned to use mayo #my preference) and put it on the outside of the bread. one side of each slice #as you have been reminded your whole life. #step five. wait. #step six. remind yourself you're acting rash. this fixes nothing- but is a good thing to remind yourself of. put the first piece of bread o #the pan mayo side down. place the cheese on top of that. add the other slice mayo side up. #step seven. you will wait some more. #step eight. drown out everything you know. flip the bread over. you will notice its slightly burnt but that is okay. you are too hungry to #care. #step nine. finish what you have started and go to bed unsatisfied. #<- hope this helps!

[bittwitchy]

sometimes life w a v high pain tolerance means im still in pain but quiet abt it to not bother other ppl and sometimes it means im in such horrific pain for literally no reason (there is a reason oft just related to afab insides so ppl dont care) but i have to go to work anyways bc calling out is bad and somehow its ‘so brave’ to work while wanting to die as your insides torture you it feels like youre burning alive and your organs are breaking but hey we gotta go earn that dough right

#raiiot #it hurts so bad rn i wanna just cry and break down but i have work tonight #it hurts to breathe too which doesnt help me #i honestly dont even know if my pain tolerance is high or if i just got told my pain didnt matter #so much growing up and by docitrs and everyone that Im just not reacting to it #bc the reality is my wanting to die because of pain has been a constant since i first got my period at like 7-9 years old #and being told by doctors and my parents that im faking it for attention or i need to get over it or that idk what pain is jhst means i #started not saying anything bc being in pain and crying a lot was already bad since id get yeled at for crying #but being called a liar and being in trouble for it and the additional suffering just really sucked on top of it so it was ‘easier’ to say #nothing and try to ignore it and pretend i wasnt in pain for others benefit since they thought i was lying anyways #which is even funnier since now if i mention it theybsfill think im lying #so if im ignoring it or honest abt it i #still apparently a liar ig lol #the only pain other ppl in my fam have experienced is the oral pain funnily enough but they screamed abt cried abt how nobodys ever felt #pain like they have over a need for ONE root canal. i needed 9 and numbing didnt work #thats the first time they ever realized i maybe wasnt lying avout the pain. was when they got told thaf. but they still treat me like i am

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too #things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄 #jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that #having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically #and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me #despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence #and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik- #she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh #and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space #and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she- #likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man #i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them #theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road #theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill- #finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me #old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc #anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included- #bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately #also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that #im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it.. #ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too #its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes #regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a #fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling #and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........ #sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!! #.diaries

[moteldogs]

something kind of distressing about my Issues getting better. like the evidence for what happened is disappearing

#now that things are so different with my dad the only record that exists is the way I flinch and the way I can’t be fucking normal in bed a #nd my over the top reactions to stupid shit. and I don’t want to be nonfunctional the way I was last year but I don’t flinch so bad anymore #I want to want it to be like nothing ever happened but at the same time I don’t want to forget #mostly I just end up feeling like a liar. #I forgave my dad and I don’t want to cling to stuff I don’t even remember clearly but also I feel like I’m going crazy #there’s some stuff I know happened because my brother remembers too but he was a little kid for a lot of it or he wasn’t around yet #so the only one who actually knows is my fuckin dad. which obviously isn’t information I can get. #jesus. anyways. I’m on the couch in my parents’ house and I can’t get to sleep #del later

[magnusmodig]

yeah i'm one spoon away from setting the ends of my hair on fire if i'm kindling for a little while at least i'll feel of use... promise me that you'll start where i end and i promise to give you everything that i am and it goes on, and on, and on... we'll go on and on and on in the end all i hope for is to be a bit of warmth for you when there's not a lot of warmth left to go around.

#(aka one of thor's many many many musical anthems that resides in my head) #(like gosh this song is PERFECT for the kind of thought processes that thor goes through on the daily?) #(the constant stress / the feeling you're only of use when you're burning alive) #(being happy and contented with that in a twisted kind of way because you may be burning but your kindling-) #(-will keep others warm like haha wow) #(really is the embodiment imo of thor's particular brand of self-sacrifice) #(steve does it for justice and standing up for the little guy which is honorable in and of itself) #(it fascinates me CONSTANTLY that thor legitimately does a similar thing...out of nothing and for nothing but the sake of love) #(whether it's love for his family / his homeland / for earth / for the people who live all across the universe) #(he just loves??? ALL of it. and of course there are some limits and he's not going to bumble over himself-) #(- to love another. but the idea of quasi-unconditional love that stems from this guy in his own way) #(i've always loved that about him and his values as a superhero the most) #(honestly i've loved steve's version of it too but having deep-dived into both men the past couple months) #(thor comes out on top every time) #( music . ) — the spirit of thunder is to be heard . #( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .

[thethingything]

had to lay down. woke up at nearly 7am. got overwhelmed by our sleep schedule once again being fucked because yesterday we actually went to bed at roughly the right time and thought "oh this is great we've fixed it". decided that we're just gonna deal with it and it'll be fine. and then our brain decided that no actually we're gonna have a combination of emotions that's maybe gonna give me another breakdown if I can't figure out how to deal with them but I have no fucking clue what to do with them

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #I fucking hate this. we barely did anything yesterday because we were too fatigued and then slept at a weird time #and we're still too fatigued to do much and we need to do the stuff we'd normally do before bed #and by the time we've done that we'll probably need to nap because we will feel so much worse if we don't #and I don't want to have to try and fit my whole day around trying to fix my sleep schedule but once again what else do I fucking do #and the whole last month has been like this over and over and it's because we got covid in February and have been way more fatigued #so we have to keep laying down and when we do that we just pass the fuck out #also waking up at like 7am (shortly before what should be our bedtime) leads to us feeling really sick #the way we used to feel when we had to get up early for college. like our body can't handle it and makes us feel like shit #and to top it all off the emotional shit I'm dealing with has nothing to do with this and it just another overwhelming thing on top of it #dysphoria and homesickness my fucking beloathed #I just want to be awake at the right time and have a nice stress free day and feel relaxed for once #like we keep trying to take time to relax and set aside time to do something fun and relieve some stress #and we still end up just as stressed and when we decided to spend a whole day just trying to relax we just ended up even more anxious #I'm so fucking tired. just let me sleep at the right time. just let me fucking relax for once in my life

[orcelito]

Finally put my sheets back on my bed (I slept on the bottom bunk the past 2 days, whoops...) & everything is so soft and warm and clean. And I am happy and sleepy in a soft cloud bed.

Truly nothing like Bed ❤️

#speculation nation #Bed with a capital B to represent the same kind of concept as Home #this is Bed. aka My bed. it is the place i return to. it is warm and soft and made of fluffy blankets. #it has multiple mattress pads and 5 blankets and the best pillow for my neck #and sometimes 2 cats who will walk all over me and on my head (as just happened just now) #i use the bottom bunk as a couch but it is also a bed and there have been times of my life where it's been my main bed #but the top bunk bed truly is comfier. and so i continue to use it as Bed. #bottom bunk is kept in couch position near permanently but i sometimes still sleep on it when i nap #or times like the prior few days where for whatever reason im not sleeping on top bunk #(i slept on the bottom when i was very sick too bc i didnt want to deal with climbing the ladder while in so much pain) #bottom bunk only goes to bed position when my girlfriend is over & spending the night #and i'll join her down there too :] #otherwise tho top bunk is Bed for me. and boy is it comfy. #nothing like sleeping outside of Primary Bed for a few days to remind myself of how much i Love My Bed

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#let me express to u perhaps The frustration of my life #i like to learn. it is perhaps my favorite thing. new information. more more more constantly #but. my fucking brain is the fucking worst. because im not fucking stupid if i can focus and process the words being said i can understand #many things. i like to learn about math and physics and chemistry and biology and anatomy... ect concepts #but the focus and the processing of words is where we have problems. because i cannot focus for more than like 5min #i blink and suddenly ive been spaced out for a sec and need to reorient. i cant prioritize what to do 1st and im constantly bouncing betwee #tasks so nothing ever gets done and im too intimidated to start learning things. and when im trying to learn we habe the processing words #problem. like my reading comprehension is so fucking bad. like i will read a book on paper and maybe retain 25% of the info if im not #hardcore trying. for a class where i had to do a ton of paper reading. i had to read everything out loud to myself. highlight important #info. write myself a summary based on the highlights and then read the paper again before i could even begin to feel comfortable in #discussions. it was so fucking frustrating and miserable. ppl will give me physical books and im like thanks i cant fucking read sorry #too fucking dyslexic. read and listen they say. u have to read and listen at the same time bc i cant pay attention and i cant read #so if i do both then maybe the info gets in. thats y i have to read aloud but i hate it and still get distracted #i mean. i probably just have an attention problem. its also really annoying that my short term working memory is so awful #bc in order to make things make sense i have to draw or write them out. i cant judt go off the top of my head or i get stuck saying thr sam #thing over and over and over. its like my ability to think is extremely shallow. but thrn i read papers and recognize concepts from classes #i took years ago and im like. fucking y cant i know what i know? my head feels so empty but info is in there somewhere #its just so fucking frustrating that i love understanding systems so much. complex annoying little systems that fit together like a puzzle #and my fucking brain refuses to accept the information im trying to get in there. so i return to a remark left on my dyslexia assignment: #intelligent when not constrained by language or time. thanks. unfortunately language is how ppl communicate #also i freak out under time pressure lol. anyway ive just been reading papers for fun this weekend and remembering y i dont: bc its agony #but also i fucking love the concepts so much and i need a good understanding of photosynthesis before August when i join a photosynthesis #lab lmao. ugh. i love learning but my brain was not buildmt #built for it. if only if only someone could podcast about the obscure things im interested in while reading directly from the source #unrelated #also its like 105 degrees plus. its too fucking hot out #thats like 40 degrees C. the sun is like a death ray

[blue-madd]

Made an AU for Ian and Naïl where they're called Jack and Eden bc why not

After the "barista x vet assistant" version, here's the "bass player x influencer" version~ (+ their lil apartment)

Plot was so simple : influencer finds himself at a concert and compliments the bass player for his skills who instantly becomes obsessed w him and casually starts crashing at his place

Also the apartment was made based on inspo I found on Pinterest so really no original idea for this one (I have never been so uninspired lmao)

#I like the idea of making other AUs with them since I'm struggling to keep a paracosm entertaining for too long #soo we got the coffe shop AU we got the band AU what will come next i wonder #my mind is screaming library AU but aint no way Jack reads shit (he came out so different and yet so similar to Ian i cant explain it) #Ian is like a fancy version of Jack but i feel like Jack has the original personality #and i have just decided that he doesnt know how to read which means library AU where the bookkeeper teaches him (or fails huhuhu) #also very important note : Jack only started wearing pink bc thats Eden's fav color lmao i love him he is so simple #like the 1st time they met Jack casually signed Eden's top while adding his number (which he never used) #& 2nd time they went to an after party together and Jack drove Eden home and was like #'so this is where u live. ok. can i come over when im bored?' then came back the very next day & basically never left #and Eden was like 'i aint looking for nothing romantic/sexual/etc' so Jack went 'ok lets be friends then' #and Then Eden was all 'i wanna try smth new' so Jack went 'ok lets be lovers' like he is so Chill he just wants to hang out w him #i love their dynamic #madd #paras rant #paraportal #i need to find a correct name ugh #paracosm : mixed AUs

[nimue-hidden-lake]

"I'd like to work in your club as a host."

"Er... We get that you... Are not a woman but-"

"Then I should be able to work as a host!"

The club allows them to work in the end as a test Ann outdoes Hifumi in one night /j

Picrew Link

I should be more productive and will be... But I thought that it would be fun. Been working on character profiles of OCs appearing in the CATZ story at a later point, so I am playing around with a Picrew for... References? I dunno how to call it but I am envisioning something.

Also a oneshot where Ann works as a host alongside Hifumi haa been living in my head rentfree for a few weeks now.

#Nimue's Whispers #Also yes Ramuda was in charge of their host outfit. In fact I like to think that he desgins outfits for Ann whenever he can. #One of the reasons is to show them off in various outfits. Another is because he thinks it's fun. #The third reason would be to boost their confidence and help them to feel good about themself. Clothes can help after all! #So Ramuda does whatever he can. It's fun too for him so it's not a waste of time (he sometimes makes them 'play mannequin') #(Honestly I can see that he just wants to see them in different outfits for fun. So he is a bit pushy and won't rest until they give in) #(I should try sketching a few I think Ann would wear due to Ramuda) #Oh last thing: At first Ann is embarrassed yet the more outfits made by Ramuda they wear the more confident they become. #Nothing too over the top but they become a little more confident in their looks and start to like wearing the outfits he makes. #Headcanon over! #self insert community #s/i community #picrew #picrew link #self indulgent #s/i

[aces-to-apples]

Yeah. Nice work, buddy. Now I know you're a yank. Yank, man, too. Late teens to early twenties. All full of rage and directionless anger and the victim of a school system designed to leave them half people who cannot use words to articulate. Not fully human and guided only by spite. I'd feel bad for them if they didn't continually reinforce that all they have is hate and violence in their heart, the only way they can feel anything is to hurt people and would gladly murder everyone slightly different from them if daddy told them too.

Lol. Lmao, even. This is by far and away my favorite genre of weird stalkery nonsense anon: complete word-salad, prompted by nothing and including zero particulars, which could be sent to literally anyone and make about as much sense. Hats off to you, sir, you sure strung together a bunch of sentences that equate to nothing. In the words of the estimable FriendlySpaceNinja: do you need a Kit-Kat?

Edit: omg wait did Andy Ngo find my tumblr and is trying to dox me again? Andrew baby is that you??

#one day canadians—presumably cis men in their 30s with mommy kinks—will learn that yankees are from new england #i love this it's so great. the implication that i've somehow slipped and revealed that i'm u.s.american after trying to hide it #the complete miss on the age bracket #the implication that we in the u.s. are not ALL victims of a school system designed to make us nothing more than mindless factory workers #the hilarious bomb-drop of 'daddy' at the very end with the wrong 'to/too/two' as the cherry on top #like i wish these stalker anons at least linked to whatever set them off because when they just randomly appear like this #it FULLY looks like they were pushed over the edge by the sub!cody 2023 announcement i reblogged #is that it pal? angry that commander cody of star wars fame is gonna get tied up and railed? that's sad man. #marshal commanders of space slave armies deserve good dickings too smdh #can i request that all lazy stalker anons include links as to what set them off this time? i wanna build a spreadsheet about it 😘 #anon asks #answered asks #by apples #online harassment #anon harassment #anon hate #also idk if it counts but just for the hell of it lol i will also slap this with a courtesy #fandom slapfight

[irawhiti]

man there is really no way out of poverty huh. like for real.

#no matter how much money i save up over years and years it literally won't ever be enough #i'm just never gonna get anything i want done like top surgery and i have to accept that. at the bare minimum it's gonna take over a decade #i have over 10 thousand dollars worth of dental work that needs to be done now #which would have been completely free if my parents just took me as a teen. free. but they didn't because they're abusive fuckwads #so now i gotta foot the bill. i'll never forgive them for a lot of things and that's one of the biggest things lol. #it's gonna cost several thousand dollars just to get me out of here back into a city too not even including finding a place and paying bond #everything i've saved up for literal years now is literally nothing compared to the bare minimum to potentially stop being fucking homeless #i've lost all the weight i gained from being able to feed myself bc i'm back with my parents with even less access to food than last time #so i'm just like... chronically malnourished and fainting all the time again. it really feels like the past few years were for nothing #i wish i had a bed. i haven't had a bed for well over a year now. #it's so fucking expensive to be homeless and for what. i was able to take a shower for the first time in two weeks today #taking a shower costs $30 for me. i'm so tired man. #delete later