#eva i know you sent me this almost 2 years ago but I DID IT NOW MY APOLOGIIES

[fineosaur]

104. throbb please? 🙃♥️

i'm there in your arms | e | throbb

from this drabble challenge - prompt 104. “…or we can chill in our underwear.”

After years away, Theon returns to Winterfell- wanting only to make amends with his former best friend, Robb. He finds his opening at a party hosted at the Stark house. One thing leads to another and they find themselves in Robb's room, drying off after an accidental fall into the pool.

Summer in Winterfell is an overall pleasant experience. 

Unlike most of its inhabitants, Theon never fully feels welcomed on the rough terrain of the North. Even if the Iron Islands were seen as some of the roughest this side of the Sunset Sea, the North was harsh to him.

He takes slow strides into the house he spent most of his youth in. 

Quite a bit has changed. Clear renovations have been made, but the air inside still hangs the same. The same cold feeling prickles his skin until his eyes reach outside for soft auburn curls and the brightest smile he’s ever seen. 

Robb’s cheeks are tinted pink from laughing and likely a few drinks. The rouge rests sweetly against the freckles that decorate his skin. 

His old friend doesn’t notice him for a while. It allows him the opportunity to take in the scene before him. Where Robb laughs in the presence of Jon and Sansa. Even not far off the rest of the Stark kids are part of a rotation that one of them is far too young for. 

He smiles at the sight of how grown they all have become. How the rest of the world is far away from their bubble. 

He used to curse himself for being on the outside as if it were his own fault, his own unmade efforts. But he was never a northerner, he couldn’t simply stay there, motionless, unwilling to take the risk of figuring out more for himself. 

So, he hadn’t stayed. 

Theon had left with little fuss. With not even a word to Robb, not to Jon, and not even to Sansa who had been his confidant since they were children. 

He doesn’t regret a single moment of it. He never will. The only guilt that festers is in thoughts of the dizzying blue eyes of the oldest Stark, Robb.

Theon feels only remorse for the way he tossed his friend aside– all in hopes of his self-redemption. For a grasp of something that might let him stop the endless cycle of self-loathing and abhorrence. 

The party looks to have died down. Cups lay around unused as forgotten candles to the people who had departed. Now the party circle looks to be only the Starks and a few close friends. 

He recognises some easily, the Reed siblings, a Mormont, more than a few Baratheons and he loses count of the rest. 

He’s at least thankful for Kyra who told him about the party. Who assured him that Robb would likely be more than happy to see him. 

Theon doesn’t hold onto the same sentiment, why would Robb be happy to see him after all these years? Certainly not after the way he left.

He takes a few steps closer to the huge terrace. His boots don’t make much noise, but somehow, Robb’s eyes find him. 

Theon stills when their gazes meet. He’s unsure of how to act. So he gives a slight smile. 

Robb’s face is hard to read, but it definitely isn’t anger. It’s astonishment and something else mixed together. He turns down the joint given to him and makes his way inside. 

No one pays attention to Robb’s exit, only continuing to listen to whatever it is Bran has to say. 

Theon retreats further into the house and Robb meets him. He doesn’t know what to do with himself, he only stands and waits to see what profanities Robb might want to throw upon him. 

“Are you really here?” Robb asks with a low whisper. 

“Yeah… hey.” 

He smiles with all of his teeth. It’s far too awkward for this moment. All until Robb takes him in his arms. 

They embrace, Robb’s even stronger than he used to be. But his warmth is just the same as it’s always been. Suddenly Winterfell feels like home. 

“After all these years–” Robb pulls away. “All you can say is, hey?”

Theon laughs, he’s happy that only half the lights in the kitchen are on, because then Robb can’t notice that he’s fighting back tears. 

“I don’t know what else I’m supposed to say,” Theon shrugs. 

Robb’s palm cradles Theon’s face. It’s an intimate moment. It gives Theon the opportunity to study his features. 

He’s the same boy who he had once called his best friend. The eyebrows are just as strong, sat above deep, thoughtful blue eyes. But his jaw, that’s changed. The roundness was gone early in their teenage years, but it was never this defined. 

Their foreheads meet and Theon takes a deep breath. 

He laughs, sniffling slightly. “How do you not hate me?” Theon asks with mirth. 

Robb draws away to laugh back. With a shove, he tells Theon off.  

“Hate you– do you know me at all?” 

read more on ao3 - the rest is too explicit to dump on tumblr

#eva i know you sent me this almost 2 years ago but I DID IT NOW MY APOLOGIIES #throbb #robb x theon #robb stark #theon greyjoy #theon pov #top!robb #asoiaf fanfiction #drabble challenge #smut smut smut #my writing #fineosaur

[sunsents]

Content 2/2 - F.W (M)

Empty Chapter II

IT'S. OVER. Holy shit, this took way longer than I expected it to be. Yes, it’s 20k mf words and what abt it. Don’t look at me like that. I warned ya’ll 🙄. Now, I definitely made up some words while writing this. Like a shelved corridor, the heck is a shelved corridor?!?! Please tell me it makes sense…please for the sake of my sanity. The smut is kinda tame so I’ll whip out the chains on the next one.

CROSS POSTED TO WATTPAD HERE

Summary —> Years later you find yourself face to face with the person that caused your ruin - yet this time, somethings different.

Pairing: fredweasley x fem!reader

Word count: 20k... honestly I completely get it if ya'll wanna sit this one out

Warnings: *deep breath* a poor attempt at humor / gingers / pining idiots / normal idiots / excessive cursing / fred weasley in slacks / alcohol consuming / very little angst (its mostly just overthinking) to fluff / minor character death / smut / oral, (fem) / fingering / cum play / sexual mf intercourse mfs / protected sex (dont be silly protect your willy) / dirty talk / sappy stuff

Rating: 18+

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

tagged: @opalsheart @ronsbadidea @uselessmoonlight @boxofbadaddiction @lovenonymously @sergeantkilowog @rudypankowisdaddy, @nobutfredweasleytho some names didn’t come up when I tried, so what do we get from this? I can't properly use Tumblr <3

Five Years Later, 2003

"____, will you just calm down." Aleyna lets go of the book box full of bathroom supplies and they clink together, to which you wince because these are your stuff and you’re in a far too dangerous position to lose more money.

"How can I calm down?!" you exclaim dramatically, tossing your wand on the nylon wrapped couch. "It's all Stacey's fault."

Aleyna quirks a brow, "Whose Stacey?"

"That one chick from Magical Catastrophes who always has lipstick on her teeth."

"I don't think her name is Stacey though."

You send Aleyna a look that screams, stop being reasonable at a time like this. No, this was when you overpaid your TV cable to air The Twilight Zone and drank cheap wine while cursing out your boss who cared about your well being. Hermione had become The Minister of Magic, and of course you were proud of her. Though, this didn't mean she could let you have time off work whenever something insignificant happened.

"Probably not," you mutter, opening your fridge and coming face to face with the painful truth that it’s empty, and you’re hungry. Your hand unintentionally flies to graze over your scar as you survey your options, a small pack of ketchup and left over chips. "Suits her though, feels good to say 'Goddamnit Stacey' when something goes wrong in my life."

Stacey deserves it because Stacey doesn’t refill the staplers on purpose.

Aleyna snorts, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. "What did Stacey ever do to you?" Then she wheels across your new apartment to retrieve more boxes from outside.

You’re grateful for the support of all your friends, but the pitying looks they give you whenever someone mentions the words house and fire is enough to fuel into your secret want of setting their houses on fire. It was an accident, you were just trying to make the delicious recipe Molly had sent you, ignoring the small fact that you didn't know how to properly use an oven. The savings you lost from your bleeding bank account were not worth pasta with tomato sauce on it.

Though, your new apartment is big, bigger than your first because after making a name for yourself as an Auror money came easily. Wide walls for a projector TV, long tail shaped couch standing firm on varnished wood floorings, and two bedrooms that have their own - kind of unnecessary - bathrooms. Not to mention the giant kitchen with an island, only rich people had islands, where you could make plenty of Italian recipes and not worry about burning the house down because Aleyna fool-proofed it for you.

The flat was at the top floor of the new bar she just built, and she was kind enough to let you start renting the place. The residents of Diagon Alley had been fighting for this apartment for months, and you were proud to have snagged it before anyone could even offer.

Gripping the last two boxes, Aleyna pushes the front door with her foot and navigates herself backwards through the other dozen boxes you had just tossed on the floor. "These are the last two, are you sure you don't need anymore help?" she offers.

You shake your head, "I can just use magic, not in the mood for pursuing the muggle lifestyle right now."

Aleyna frowns, this reaches her eyes though. "That bad huh."

Simply nodding, you don’t bother getting into an in depth rant about how a simple fire didn't mean you had trauma, and that you didn't need to stop working for a few weeks. Not that being an Auror was hard, your work days have been quite uneventful if you didn't count a few "Revalutioners" sticking a muggle's head in a toilet.

"I know what will cheer you up," Aleyna chimes, already clad in her pea coat and sneakers. "Dinner, and it's on me."

You couldn't possibly say no to free dinner, also making food for yourself was probably not a good idea right now. Stay clear of ovens, you reminded yourself.

After getting snug in your coat and fluffing your hair, you fall on step next to Aleyna as the two of you chat.

The London cold is brutal, shivering whomever until their noses turn red and making their hands feel itchy when sudden warmth overtook. You’re used to it, as is anyone in Diagon Alley. People are crowding the stores, chatting loudly and waving their wands around at stores to reserve whatever crappy gifts they were going to buy for their family's.

You hate the holidays, refusing to go back to America and visit your own family. Your mother couldn't cook, nor could your father. Though, that didn't stop her from insisting every year and giving you, your father and the Burke's food poisoning.

After three years of sitting through awkward family dinners where everyone ignored the fact that you were almost Head of Aurors, and focused on Eva's collapsing career of Healer only to praise her, you had about enough and stopped attending. It had been two years since then, they didn't bother to write. Your dad occasionally sent you money in a horrible christmas card with an even more horrible pun written in red glittery letters that also sang Run Run Rudolph.

"Ugh, everyone's crowding the joke shop aga- oh." Aleyna pauses. "I'm sorry."

She knows about your past with Fred Weasley, considering whenever you rant about work it ends up with you cursing him and Eva out. He had such a blame-able face, just like Stacey from Magical Catastrophes.

You give Aleyna a look. "You act like I'm not a grown woman who can't get over something that happened eight years ago." you say, shaking off the small snow particles that begin to lightly fall. "You should be like this with, I don't know...my relationship with Theo! We broke up last year, why aren't you fragile with him, hmmm?"

Aleyna claps your back in a friendly manner all the same. "I know I know, but come on. This is childhood trauma we're talking about."

"Now that I think about it, seeing Eva's coochie was traumatic." you grin, and Aleyna's jaw gape even if she heard the story hundreds of times before. Not that Eva's...modesty was bad per say, just not a pleasant sight seeing as you guys grew up together.

Other than that fact, you hadn't talked, even seen Fred after the war ended. Sure, you occasionally stole glances at their very successful joke shop, but there was no point in dwelling and trying to fix an already withered away friendship.

You had fixed your relationship with Ron and Harry, having had no choice since the three of you worked together. "You were right ____, we were assholes. You don't need to apologize." they had told you, and that was that. The two families and well, you did weekly dinners and enduring the two men for Ginny and Hermione got easier as days passed, finally ending up in a good friendship like old times. It was casual between you, easy when no one mentioned how abruptly your friendship ended. No one dared to either.

Also, Harry was your boss and him remembering that you called him a drama queen wouldn’t do you any good in your career.

People bump at your sides as the two of you squeeze your way towards Sacree Fleur. The end of Voldemort brought a new, reformative era in the Wizarding World. Diagon Alley expanded, new buildings were built and culture grew. You were happy to see that Ollivendar's Wand shop renewed, along with other crumbling buildings that needed desperate attention.

Bandits lessened, and the utter arrogance some parents had by not sending their children to get magical education faded, partly because there was nothing to fear, and partly because more job opportunities arose, like said, money came easily.

Fleur Weasley, your good friend and someone who had done the impossible and won over a Weasley brother - though she was gorgeous and possibly the sweetest person you've ever met, so really they were perfect for each other - had decided on a whim to open a french restaurant. Bill couldn't say no to his wife, the rough man you had met years prior was softened with age and the struggle of raising children.

Good wine, deliciously soft steak that melts in your mouth and warm atmosphere that makes five o-clock feel like midnight. It’s by far your favorite restaurant and you'd much rather spend your Christmas Eve curled up next to a warm candlelit dinner on a terrace.

"Bonjour!" an obscenely attractive woman, Fleur greets the two of you when the revolving glass doors are pushed, and you break out in a wide smile seeing your friend at the door. "____, Aleyna! Come here, give me a big hug!"

"Fleur! What are you doing here?"

With dopey smiles, the three of you embrace.The door closes on it's own, and you shiver unintentionally, just now realizing how cold it is. Usually the big marble fireplace keeps Sacree Fleur warm, but even that seemed not enough and the restaurant is adorned with small muggle heaters, floating up above the ceiling and adding to the red light of the candles.

"You'll see. Came at a most amazing time too, silly girl always knowing when to show. Saw all the juicy drama when you were younger..." Fleur continues to joke lightheartedly, pulling away and leading the two of you through occupied tables as she faux scolds. People are content, it feels warm and almost soft. Conversation seems to flow easily and the unease you feel for the Holiday melts. Almost.

You blech whenever someone brings up the line ‘love is in the air’. It never made sense to you, because love was simply a fairy tale that would wither away with time. Also, how could love simply float? Of course, unless you count Amortentia fumes - which yours always smelled like sweat and crushed hopes. So frankly, you prefer expensive Dior perfume in the air rather than love.

Though now you find yourself doubting whatever you engraved in that well protected head of yours, love is truly in the air at Sacree Fleur. All kinds of love, mothers lovingly wiping food off their children's mouths, happy newlyweds clinking their wine glasses together with nothing but adoration in their eyes, friends enjoying sharing a simple dinner far more than should be done.

"My family, they're upstairs having dinner. The kids like the ice cream here, Mr Fortescue provides it well."

"Family? Ginny and Hermione are here?" you ask, lazily climbing the steps to the second floor to reveal the more, private part of the restaurant. Now, instead of wooden chairs with red cushions attached at the middle, there stand long booths with comfortable blankets and pillows with empty, eerily clean tables - except one.

The long table near the terrace is much livelier today, people sitting there whom you consider your own family. The three post luster that hangs low from the ceiling is turned on - it’s the first time you’ve seen the glamorous glass orbs in action. Its light ricochets off of several bright orange heads, simply calling it a lamp does no justice. The hue is yellow, low and it reminds you of the Christmas Eve fantasy you planned.

Said orange heads turn at the noise of delight you let out. "Oh Fleur! This is gorge- oof-"

"Auntie ____!"

A pool of orange locks squish into your stomach, snug in the soft fabric of your coat and you let out a chuckle. You can’t help it, even if you would never admit, he’s your favorite by a small number that-

"Well well, if it isn't Teddy Lupin."

The small boy chuckles, hair matching your black coat like a chameleon sticking itself on a flower and absorbing the color of the petals. You ruffle Ted's hair as the orange fades, he’s delighted to see you, and so are you yet your attention is quickly cut off by several disembodied voices thrown your way.

Bill Weasley is standing up, wine glass on one hand while grinning wide. “Look who my dear wife brought in!” his tidy yet visible scar stretches when his face brightens, you remembered again that day, just how much love you have around you.

“Hey everyone, hope we’re not interrupting.” you apologize, wincing but Bill quickly shakes his head and pushes his chair back.

You waddle your way towards the marble table, Teddy following suit with his face still smushed in your coat. He grips you tighter and you have to peel his small little limbs off your legs.

Aleyna scoffs, arms crossing together as she surveys Ted. “The blatant favoritism!”

Teddy rushes on his little legs to jump in Aleyna’s arms, and only then are you able to acknowledge the other - a little less important - people in the room.

“Happy holidays!” echoes around your head as several people embrace you all at once, and you have to simply stand and awkwardly loop your arm around whoever you can get a hold of.

Once the formalities are over, Ginny throws her arm around your shoulder. The red tresses of her dress hike up her leg from her slightly bigger stomach, and you can see the small broom tattoo on her thigh that she loves to display like a trophy. “You should’ve told us you were coming! We would have saved you a seat.”

A round of yes’s resonate around the room, and you take a quick moment to scan who’s afternoon dinner you’ve just interrupted. Hermione, hand resting on her very pregnant belly, is smiling warmly at you, and Ron quickly shoots up from his seat and wipes his mouth to catch up to his wife. Harry follows in his friend's wake, his hair has a white streak at the front and you furrow your brows.

“Age catching up with you Potter?” you grin, rubbing Ginny’s back fondly before she separates from you and greets Aleyna. “Or is it the pregnancy?”

Harry scoffs, pulling you in his embrace for a quick friendly second. “Always the charmer ____. I’ll have you know I’m handling it wonderfully, right Gin’?”

Ginny pauses, “Erm, yeah…”

Harry’s face feigns faux disbelief, and it quickly melts as you bombard the man with questions about how Ginny’s first trimester is going. You mentally take note of asking Ron about Hermione’s as well, your two best friends are fucking pregnant. It’s almost too happy, and slowly the anxiety creeping up from your spine wraps around your throat, ready to suffocate you whenever.

It was always like this, the past ready to make it’s deathly move, because nothing is perfect. Happiness doesn’t come this easily.

And you’re right, because not only a minute after the warm embraces of your friends comes the voice of the person you’ve been dreading to see.

“____?”

And then, you’re suffocating.

He’s a man. Of that you’re sure, because now his muscles stretch well over his broad shoulders, maroon satin shirt loose on his frame, tight around his biceps - properly sculpted of course - portraying defined collarbones.

His eyes are somewhat duller, though the same glimmer of loveable mischief he always had is evident. It will never go away, even after all these years, yet it’s tamer. That mischief caused him quite the trouble back in school, and now it seems he knows when to act, when to speak and when to stay silent.

His silhouette catches you off guard, his features are sharper, much sharper than how much Harry has matured. His biceps bulge obscenely when he rests his - also generously sized you might add - hand on the table, and the table suddenly doesn’t seem that long.

His forearms, on display with his sleeves rolled up, glistens under the soft lighting of the balcony. Your eyes fall on his bracelet adorned right wrist, one of which in particular catching your attention.

He’s still wearing the bracelet you gave him.

His face, always glowing, wears a large expression displaying his set of perfect teeth. He’s awestruck, you think.

You watch him push his large body out of the small chair, and wow chest, is your only thought. Then further down and...god damn thighs. Burly thighs - probably very comfortable too - squeezed in black tight fit jeans, however he managed that you don’t know but it was nice to imagine.

He’s leaned back, casual as he strolls towards you in two large steps, his long sculpted legs never disappointing.

Fred Weasley is genetically designed to ruin you and your insides with just one look, and you’re ashamed to have realized it all too late because when he speaks again you swear you saw stars.

“Wow - you,” he breaths, walking towards you with slow, unsure steps. “Grew!”

You raise a brow, Aleyna snorts. Grew? His steps should be unsure, because you want him to take them back, sit his fine fit ass back on that chair and pretend he never saw you.

Because this wasn’t your plan for tonight, seeing him wasn’t in your checklist. You woke up today, thinking nothing but coffee and a stressful moving day ahead. Not of the boy - the man you’ve been in love with since childhood, the man you blamed for your problems as an excuse to hide the heart squeezing pain of loneliness, the man you hadn’t seen in so many years you forgot what his voice sounded like.

You could have never guessed, and now you want to go back. Somehow rewind the clock to this morning when you were safe of your tucked away feelings trying to bulge, safe in your own little circle. All your efforts of leaving your house just a little early so you wouldn’t run into Fred seems stupid now. Your strategy ran smoothly for five years, it could’ve ran for more.

You would have continued avoiding him like your life depended on it, and his stupid joke shop, and the way he stupidly looked at you everytime he saw you. You’re reminded again, because no matter how older he looks he’s still Fred, and he still looks at you the same.

“I mean - beautifully! Shit I - fuck.” he groans, and George claps his brother on the back with a chuckle. Wherever he came from, because you were so entranced by Fred that you didn’t see George standing tall next to his family.

“____.” George stops before you, hands in his pockets. it happens too quickly that you’re forced out of your panicked state.

You raise a brow, and only then - Fred’s out of view with George’s figure towering over you - are you able to find your voice. “George.”

He pulls you in his tight embrace, “How come you never visited!” he scolds, chest stretching back to bring you with. “You’d think she’d bloody say hello once in a while! Maybe drop by our shop after 5 years, you quack!”

“George - can’t,” you heave and your legs wobble when he sets you on the ground again. You clear your throat, grinning widely at your...friend?

It would be fair to call him an acquaintance, right? You don’t know where you stand with the twins but you have love for them. This is clear from the way you can’t stop smiling like a sappy idiot - or perhaps it’s because of how contagious George’s smile is. You thought they hated you, but the youngest looks anything but displeased. He gives you a squeeze again before throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“I thought - I dunno. I thought you guys didn’t wanna see me.”

George scoffs, “Because you told us off that one time in seventh year?” he laughs, arms folding and displaying a set of bulging biceps much like Fred’s. “Yeah mate, you’re not that intimi-“

“George Weasley, finish that sentence I dare you!”

His eyes grow wide. “Sorry Ma’am.”

Someone clears their throat.

It’s Frederick Weasley, probably here to beat you to death.

“Hey Fred.” you greet, mouth dry. Get a grip, you scold yourself.

Fred opens his arms, “Well well,” he laughs, pulling you into a hug with a polite smile. His cheeks tint red when you shuffle closer, you would have missed this but you’re a creep, and you can’t stop staring at the beautiful man before you. He displays his beautifully indented smile lines, as if he was saying look at me! I’m perfect and sexy, I also broke your heart that one time, too bad I had no idea!

And it’s true, Fred never knew about your feelings. You kept them well hidden and they ate away at your organs from the inside, there was no reason to blame him. The realization is probably what compels you to accept him with open arms and wrap them around his neck.

You feel him shiver, dismissing it quickly because of the cold.

He smells good. Way too good that you melt in his arms and let him engulf you in his dangerous warmth. Manly, musky cologne, mixing with hints of cigar smoke that lingers on only certain areas of his shirt. You recognize the scotch in his breath when he whispers how much he had missed you, and his nape still has that cinnamon deliciousness he would parade whenever he came out of the shower, you fought the urge to shiver yourself, and it’s not because of the cold either.

It’s dizzying, and before you can start a detailed essay about how good his muscles feel, firm and digging into all the right places, he pulls away.

The past hits you like a ton of fucking bricks and crumbles down the firm foundations of the walls you have been building for eight years. You feel guilty, have you learned nothing? The loud pounding of your heart is a warning, yelling at you to stop getting swept away. Yet you can’t control it, just like how you can never control your feelings.

“I missed you guys too.” you breath shakily, you have to make sure to keep your distance. For your own good, you tell yourself.

Teddy pulls away your attention, and you silently add buy Teddy an expensively dumb toy to your checklist.

He sticks to your leg and is adamant on staying there. “I grew taller.” he says, looking at you between his eyelashes. “He says I didn’t, but I know I did!”

You chuckle, ignoring how Fred looks at the boy with such a warm expression, ignoring the way your heart nearly catapults out your chest.

“Well, stand straight soldier!” you demand.

Ted immediately lets go of your leg and straightens, hand going to his forehead to salute you. A giggle escapes him when you bend on your knees and act like you have a measuring stick on your hand. “Oh yes yes, seven feet tall and growing.” voice mock deep, you nod sternly.

“By this rate - I’ll pass you! Hah!” Teddy stomps his little foot on the stone floor, little sneakers barely making a sound.

You stand up again and fold your arms, “Well, I grow too you know! You can never pass me.” smirking slyly, you egg him on to see how much he’ll endure before he demands a ride on your shoulders - because that’s how giants saw the earth he told you. You doubt giants compare to a twenty four year old woman with attachment issues

Ted stands on his toes, struggling to tug on your shirt and bring you down. “No, I don’t like this game anymore…”

“Alright alright.” and with that you pick him up and prop the little boy on your shoulders.

Ted happily kicks his feet on your chest and you groan. He’s supposed to be five, not a midget wrestler. “Easy buddy boy.”

“You’re amazing with him, little twerp barely lets me tie his shoes.”

Fred’s voice startles you, only now do you realize that he had been watching you and Teddy. Speaking of, Ted’s busying himself with your hair, small hands pulling and twisting locks and mumbling incoherently.

Ear tips slowly catching fire, you chuckle. “Buy him a broom at four and see how he handles it.”

Fred shakes his head, tongue poking at the side of his cheek and you remind yourself to breathe. “You spoil him then? They say the way to a five year old's heart is money.”

“Damn, I’ll drink to that.”

Nuff words said, everyone soon sits on their designated chairs, and you pull one from another table, being the uninvited one.

Aleyna isn’t slick, you knew she had something up her sleeve the moment she had offered to pay for dinner. Though, this is your fault. You let her without calculating whatever end result was waiting to catch you off guard and ruin your entire life plan to avoid Fred Weasley.

Being the snake she is, snake Aleyna enticed you with nice food, dragged you to Sacree Fleur and did her little snake magic.

Awkwardly angled next to your best friend, you chat with Harry and Hermione while they tell you what you missed from work. (Not that you missed much, actually nothing different seems to have happened other than boring paperwork and Mrs Newersman’s new hairdo.)

Swirling your wine in one hand, the reflection of Fred from the rim of the glass keeps distracting you.

He’s changed, not personality wise though there were tweaks. Nor looks, he’s an adult now and his boyish charm is gone, but it isn’t quite that.

You can’t put a finger on it either, and you watch him laugh, carefree with his sister.

He looks relaxed, or maybe it’s merely the wine. Is it - no, couldn’t be. He looks happy. Genuine happiness and adoration for whomever. Love in his eyes as he looks at - Ah. He’s looking at you.

You jerk your head away and tip your wine glass back to gulp down liquid courage - because you need it tonight.  This is bad, you tell yourself, kick you on the shin and punch to your gut bad. This can’t keep up or else you’re going to end up right back in that hollow pit of empty hope and gooey saturday lasagna.

“So, any plans for Christmas Eve ____?”

Ron’s timbre voice thankfully grips your arms and pulls you away from said hollow pit.

“Uhh what?” you cough awkwardly, setting your now empty wine glass down.

“Christmas Eve, what are you doing? Going back home?” Ron asks, raising a brow.

You can lie but something compels you not to, maybe it’s how warmly they always welcome you, how they’re welcoming you now with open arms and nice food.

You shake your head, answering honestly; “No actually, I’ll just celebrate with Jambo and Christmas movies.”

And that’s exactly how you’ve been spending your Christmas Eve these past few lonesome years. It wasn’t that lonely, you had Aleyna and people loved her bar, you’d drop by and count down with people you didn’t know, at least you got to kiss a random stranger.

“Jambo? He’s still alive?” Hermione chuckles.

“No no, this is Jambo Fitzwilliam the Second, who is also a cat but don’t you dare tell him that!” smiling, you joke lightheartedly to conceal the harsh news.

Your hand reaches to trace around your scar as you speak.You know their eyes follow, and you know they stare at it when you’re not looking. Teddy asked you one day, even after Ginny’s scolding but you happily told him your heroic story and how Bellatrix smelled like piss and rum.

Sighing, you set your hand on your lap.

Jambo had unfortunately passed away because apparently dogs couldn’t live two hundred years, which you were disappointed because clearly Dumbledore could. You had already grieved and mourned, it left you with the happiest memories of your precious dog and you were grateful.

“Poor kitty doesn’t know he’s adopted?” George frowns, banging his fist on the table.

You roll your eyes, “I’m sure he’s caught on by now, he’s three.”

“So, you’re spending Christmas Eve alone?” Fred asks, too suddenly and you flinch. He probably sees this, his effect on you.

You nod, and your friends gasp. Surely it wasn’t that big of a deal, or maybe it’s because of how normal it felt for you to be alone.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Ginny says, hand shooting out to rub your arm.

“I’ve been trying to get her out for ages-“

“Aleyna, don’t.” you nudge her arm.

“No Aleyna, do!” Ginny protests. “You’re spending it with us and that’s that.”

“Wha-“

George throws up his finger to shush you, “No objections!” he declares fiercely. “We’re having a party at our flat and you both are coming!”

“Oh! Unless you and Blaise have any other plans.” Hermione’s quick to ask, she isn’t being slick though.

Aleyna chuckles, “We had dinner reservations but we can make it.”

Hermione grins, and you watch Aleyna pretend that she didn’t notice her friend ready to snoop in her relationship with an amused smile. Not that it matters - she and Blaise have that kind of love you hoped for as a young girl. There was truly no two other people so perfect for each other.

“How’s Blaise doing by the way?”

Aleyna takes a sip from her almost empty glass and tuts on the bitter after taste. “Amazing, actually. He just got promoted…”

Almost empty glasses are soon emptied bottles, and two steaks turn into a large brownie for the middle. You know that it’s a good meal, because as you stand outside in the midnight cold, arm around Aleyna, your legs wobble and your stomach aches from all the deliciousness you’ve consumed. More like inhaled, you only realized how hungry you were until the second steak arrived.

“Thank you so much you guys!” you wave your arm, overly theatrical, forgetting about what a day you’ve had.

Though, the thoughts catch up as you lay awake in bed.

It had gone by too quickly, and your heart is still beating louder than any chirping of the bugs outside. Your bedroom lacks furnishing, it only adds to your wild imagination. Your mind paints pictures on the blank walls as your eyes dart around, Fred didn’t look in your direction once that night.

Or maybe he did, only you didn’t see.

It’s strange, whenever you turned your gaze his way, he seemed to be busying himself with whatever, whether it be his fork or napkin. How interesting can a damn napkin be? Hopefully not any lesser than you.

And are you just going to ignore that goddamned bracelet? The one you carefully sculpted with beads in such a way that you were sure Fred would suspect at least a drop of your raging crush. He’s still wearing it, that piece of string and glass - the symbol of your love and effort - survived through a war.

Are you reading into things? Surely not, he greeted you as anyone else would. Or maybe he remembered - you don’t dare think of that night.

How can they act so normally, so brazen after everything? It’s been almost six years since you saw them, have they got nothing to say to you? Maybe an apology?

Frustrated, you turn to your side and force your eyes shut.

————————

When night bleeds into morning, every cat has a tendency to quip over to their owners on their cushioned paws - which makes no noise but simple claw scratchings on the floor.

Jambo’s no different.

So, you’d imagine the poor creature's shock when he finds your bedroom empty. If he’d bothered to check, you’re seated on your island stool, pen and parchment in hand and mug of hot coffee (instant given the circumstance) in the other.

You hung your new curtains this morning, and were making use of them by shutting them halfway on the hooks while your window stood half open. You watch the snow flurry outside and gulp. If this week was to go horribly wrong... at least you have nice curtains waiting for you at your ritzy new apartment.

Jambo wraps his tail around your dangling ankle like he always does and you barely hum in acknowledgement. He’s purring, and it brings you comfort even if it’s for a small moment. But your question still remains unanswered, What would a five year old boy want for christmas?

It had been exactly two days since Ginny invited you to spend Christmas Eve together, and you busied yourself with buying them gifts - a tradition you hated because 1. coming up with gift ideas is infuriatingly hard. It’s way too time consuming, nit picking every single personality and deciding what they’ll like and what they’ll pretend to like. Pretend like they’re going to use it, and then never touch it until that one very specific occasion.

Maybe it’s excessive, but you actually like these people. They somehow give you - a sad, lonely sewer rat that’d been a neglected child - joy.

And 2. you feel like those people you make fun of every Christmas. Though, somewhere deep in your heart, you know you enjoy being those people. You would never admit it though.

What? You actually relish in the idea that you belong to a group, and that said group causes you to carry out cliche holiday traditions?

Absolute blasphemy.

Finally deciding, you leave your apartment in warm but cher clothing. It isn’t as crowded this morning - or maybe it’s because it’s seven forty in the crack of fucking dawn. Though, with the amount of caffeine you’ve consumed, it feels like ten.

Would they even be open, you ask yourself, jogging quickly about the streets on your heels to avoid the cold. It’s Christmas, they have to be.

Of course your logic sucks.

Shivering, you round the corner tea shop and fasten your pace. Ass freezing, lip tucked in between your teeth, you realize you have underestimated the morning London cold.

Soon, thankfully, the giant head of George(?) you assume, comes into view. The animatronic is motionless, big porcelain eyes closed and displaying sinister gaping holes. You shiver, and not because of the cold either.

Keeping your eyes low on your feet, you push the glass doors of the shop open. You don’t bother to check the inside from the generous glass displays, it’s way too cold and you don’t want to spend any more time outside with the giant George doll.

A bell rings, a little jingle up above that puts a smile on your face. Jambo’s collar jingled like that whenever he got excited, whether it be a pesky squirrel ready to bum off your house food, or maybe a friendly one showing its face to piss off the house dog.

You sigh, and only then notice the delicious scent of fresh coffee roast. Invading through your nostrils and turning you into a drunkard, and you can’t help but gravitate towards-

Woah, you’ve had your coffee today.

“Who's here so early, couldn’t a man enjoy breakfa-”

You smile apologetically, it’s only natural that Fred just woke up. He isn’t a morning person, after years of knowing him you found out one way or another. In your case, he was mean to you and that’s when it clicked. Fred doesn’t like the early hours of morning, where his hair isn’t as tame and his lips feel like they’re about to pop. You find it charming.

“____?”, the man of the hour comes into view, standing at the top of the spiral staircase. The first step is a rung, rolling on the hinges of the wall's edges. The staircase rattles when Fred steps down, and you quickly jump forward in panic.

Mug in one hand, his fingers rake through his mussed morning hair then settles on the checkout counter. “Morning,” He smiles, and those dang smile lines greets you, as if they’re mocking you again.

“Morning, I know it’s early and-”

“It’s okay, have you had breakfast yet?”

Taken aback, you nod. Disappointment flashes through his face, and before you can analyze he straightens. Taking a sip of his coffee and humming, he fixes his pyjama bottoms. Red and checkered, loosely hanging from his hip and giving you a teasing view of his lower abdomen. “Can I get you anything?” he asks again, adamant on offering you something.

You shake your head no and you watch his face fall. Merlin, you would have come starving if it meant having breakfast with him. The view before you is enough to fulfill your darkest fantasies, and this is enough. Because you know that this is all you could get. His friendship.

But is it though? Is it truly enough? Will it ever be enough?

The questions that linger around your head have an answer that you wouldn’t dare set free. Everything you’re doing right now is wrong, how you’re standing in front of him, letting his delicious scent compel you further into him.

He smells almost alluring - he always does - less piquant than yesterday. Probably the after taste of neglecting a shower, yet his natural fragrance is just as charming. You remember those mornings at the Burrow when Fred stumbled down the stairs, sun early and bright, woken up just like himself. He smelled ama-

Woah, down girl.

Fred clears his throat, and only then do you realize how long it has been since you spoke.

“I need to buy something.” you blurt. Fuck, this couldn't get more embarrassing. “For Ted, his gift.” You finish lamely.

“Ah,” Fred chuckles, giving you a quick lookover. You flush. “You have come to the right place.”

It’s true, the shop is truly...something. A gateway to heaven for anyone twelve or younger. Fascinated, you take your time to linger your eyes on every little nook and cranny that catches your eye.

The shop feels much tamer without the telltale rowdy crowd, it’s almost comforting. You can really see a piece of each twin on each display, Fred’s being the Deflagration Deluxe. ‘A deluxe selection of Weasleys’ Wild-Fire Whiz-Bangs’ read on the big cardboard. You chuckle, he always had a bag full of them that he carried around religiously.

“Those!” he exclaims, scurrying over to the display, “New and improved by yours truly.”

You chuckle, and Fred breaks out into a smile. “Here, I’ll show you around.” he mutters, before you can utter a protest, he takes your hand in his and drags you to a shelved corridor. “This is his favorite section, explosives and quidditch.”

You smile as you scan the heaps of colorful products lining the walls, all engraved with the shop's signature logo. Fingers coming out to touch a few, you subconsciencly swing your encased hands together. “These are real neat.”

Fred smirks, though his palms feel hotter than usual, “Not so much when he’s blowing up the bloody flat.”

You chuckle softly, eyes fluttering to imagine little Ted shaking up a pair of fireworks, unknowingly setting them off and resulting in a giant black mark on the ceiling. Because only that explains the small black stains on the walls of the shop.

“See anything you like?” Fred offers, almost in a whisper.

“No I,” you turn back to him, and something flashes between the two of you. “I’m still…looking.”

The air feels tense, warm, affecting your body. Your breath catches in your throat, Fred’s eyes bore into yours with such intensity that you don’t know what to do. Even your breathing feels on edge.

He moves closer to you and your heart flutters. His exhales hit your ear, only a breadth away from your neck and you flinch. Chills lift up the hair on your arms, “No...erm.” you mutter.

“Alright.” he says softly.

His eyes are hooded, displaying a perfectly long set of eyelashes.

How, is the question. They’re long and thick, and you’re jealous. Yes, you might have ruined yours with your curler but still, if you were born with eyelashes like that you wouldn’t even need a blasted curler.

“What are you thinking ‘bout.” he whispers, long digit lifting to stroke your cheek. So soft that you barely feel it, before he trails it up your cheekbones, to the panes of your face.

The same alarms blast in your ears, and you can’t ignore them this time. It isn’t that you don’t like this, on the contrary you’re ready to jump him.

“Eva!”

Fred takes a step back, face falling. “What?”

You shake off whatever just happened seconds ago and focus on reality. “Gosh, I forgot to ask.” you exclaim, over excited but at what cost. “How is she doing? Is she up there in the flat?”

Fred winces. “Actually-”

“I’m guessing you guys moved in together, after all those years you know. Don’t tell me you guys got marr-”

“____!” he takes a deep breath, “We broke up a few years ago.”

You freeze. “What?”

They broke up? “Why, oh Fred-”

Fred shushes you with a finger. Embarrassed, warmth spreads through you like a tidal wave. “I fell out of love, but it felt nice to have someone around, you know?”

You don’t say anything, yes you know but his loneliness and yours is much too different.

Growing up, Fred had the support of his family, he always had someone there. You knew it was bad to dismiss him like this, but the aching in your heart wasn’t going to allow him to speak like that. He always had someone affirming that it would be okay, someone to pat his back whenever he scored a goal through a hoop, whenever he got a good grade or did a cool trick with his broom. He still had them, even if he was at his worst. He had endless support. You didn’t.

It wasn’t easy after the war, living alone with nothing but the collar of Jambo gripped tightly in your hands. He had died shortly after Voldemort fell, and you had to hang onto the last piece he left until your agony died down. That was your only support.

Ginny, Hermione and Aleyna were there of course, but everyone's way of coping is different, and they didn’t understand yours nor each other’s. It’s worse to try and forget, run away from that fear because it would always catch up with you, and you found that the best way is to sit and feel.

But that doesn't mean your friends weren’t any less supportive. The after effects of the war were way more harsh on you than you let on, you were stuck on autopilot - a painful loop that made your life feel worthless. Work, money, survival - the three main aspects occupying your mind at all times. You didn’t have the love and attention to give to friends or a relationship (maybe that’s why it never worked out) but soon, Ginny and Hermione had reached out to you.

It was a simple letter delivered by their family owl Nebula - a descendant of poor old Errol. You remember tears pooling in your eyes when they told you how much they missed you, they gave meaning to your life. It was no longer the painful loop, they invited you over for dinner, visited every other day after hooking up your house Floo Network, you were always a welcomed guest in their homes.

They made you realize that friendship didn’t need much energy nor hard effort, just being there for each other was enough. Love for someone came naturally, and you didn’t need to extract some of your own self-love to give to others. They were two different things.

Skimming past that, you watch Fred show you three different options of Make Your Own Fireworks kits. You smile solemnly, accept a random one and quietly follow him to the checkup counter.

“So.” he starts, wrapping the product with the paper design you picked. “How about you, anyone special?”

Drumming your fingers on the counter, you shrug. “I dated Theo Nott for a year, I knew nothing would come out of it but like you said, nice to have someone.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Nott? Really?” he frowns. “Can’t believe that tosser managed to-”

You snort, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Shrugging, Fred hands you the package. “Nothing, it’s just that -” he pauses and his eyes look at you like you should know what he’s talking about. As if the two of you have some sort of telepathic connection, Fred was always like this.

He would look at you like you understood a word you said, even though he’s been silent for the past minute or so. He always struggled to express himself, and you’re sad to see that this habit followed him into adulthood.

Nonetheless, you smile. “Just that what?”

“Nevermind,” he sighs. “That’ll be twenty five galleons.”

“Twenty what?” Your eyes widen. “You heartless man!”

Fred gapes at you, struggling to keep a straight face.

“Twenty five, to your oldest pal? Twenty and a stick of gum.”

Fred pretends to think. “How about you keep the gum and give me twenty four.”

“Twenty two.” you narrow your eyes, leaning forward on the counter. “Oh come on, it’s Christmas!”

Fred scoffs,“I am giving you the holiday discount!”

Grumbling, you reluctantly stick your hand in your purse and take out your wallet. “I won’t forget this. You’re in my book.”

Fred gasped dramatically, “Not the book!” he exclaims, “Twenty two then, please for the love of merlin not the book.”

You lift your chin, head tilting to the side to survey him mockingly. “Twenty two it is, you won’t get away so easily next time.”

The two of you giggling, you pay him the money and leave a few sickles. “For the great service.” you say, him pretend-blushing at your words and tucking a strand of his shoulder length hair behind his ear.

He speaks after some time, the laughter has died down and left it’s comforting after taste. “I missed you ____, why didn’t you visit?”

That turns the after taste into pure panic.

How can he ask that when the answer is so obvious. Fred’s still cruel it seems, he doesn’t bat an eyelash as he speaks. He knows the reason.

“Oh you know,” you start after some time, “Work and stuff.” you lie, and fight the urge to cringe at your words.

Though Fred doesn’t buy it, he doesn’t push it either. He simply nods, looking down at the checkout counter. You’re glad he’s avoiding your gaze, because it makes your departure much easier. “See you at the party Fred, thanks for the...uh. Yeah.” you awkwardly lift your bag up and give him a wave before pushing yourself outside. You can finally breathe.

——————

You look good.

Or, at least you think you do.

Blaise was arriving in exactly seven minutes and you barely just put on your dress. You’re sure of this because Blaise is always on time, he even has an unnecessarily expensive watch on his right hand that he obsessively likes to check. At least Aleyna’s into it, frantically trying to strap her heels, she’s wriggling herself towards the front door to somehow track her lover. You don’t know how love works, maybe they can smell each other from a mile away or something.

Shaking your head, you fluff your hair and wipe a hand across your under eye after wetting it with your tongue. You think Aleyna calls for you, you’re not sure because you’re too occupied trying to decide if you’re going to wear lipstick.

“Hey,” you walk out of your bathroom door and scurry towards her, “should I?”

Aleyna raises a brow. You scoff, “Stop doing that, you know I can’t raise mine individually.”

“Sounds like a you problem.”

“I’m about to make it your problem too if you don’t help me.”

As reflex, you roll your eyes. You only do this because you know it reminds Aleyna of that one chick from Blaise’s workplace - she knows no boundaries, apparently. It’s a shitty move, but it’s a shitty world.

Aleyna carefully inspects the two products you hold tightly between your hands. A simple shimmery gloss and a nude, almost dark red lipstick you stole - borrowed - from her. “Depends, who are you smooching?”

Throwing her an incredulous look, you hold out the two products on your palms. “I’m not smooching anyone.”

Unless of course Fred Weasley asks, if he does you would pull out makeup wipes from thin air and jump into his arms with naked lips ready to be kissed. Though, that’s only a fantasy and Fred is emotionally unavailable...scratch that, you are.

You’re not sure how tonight is going to end, and you can’t help but be aware of that looming clump of anxiety, clutching on your chest and refusing to let go until you're assured that it’s going to be fine.

“The gloss, just in case.” Aleyna stops your train of thought before it trashes off its tracks and crashes somewhere in Fred McDreamy land.

You nod, making no further inquiries and getting yourself ready as best as you can. Fixing your bodice and giving your scar a quick look, you finally hear the doorbell ring after a few long minutes, followed by Blaise’s deep voice greeting his girlfriend. You give the couple a few seconds to smooch - if you will, before walking back to the living room.

Blaise grins when he sees you, he’s wearing a sleek black suit with its first two collar buttons undone - you expect no less class from him.

“Happy Christmas!” you chime, pulling him into a hug and squeezing him tight just enough so you can whisper in his ear. “I hope you picked out the second ring, Zabini.”

Blaise swallows thickly before laughing, you know this because you physically feel him start to sweat. “I swear I did, don’t worry I have a plan.” he winks after letting go.

“I knew you were going to say that,” he loops an arm around Aleyna’s waist and pulls her by his side. “Only the best for my girl.”

Aleyna gives you both questioning looks.

You quickly clear your throat, “Anyways, let’s go before the serenading and the rose petals start.”

The three of you finally leave, the walk down your apartment building feels way too short, and the moment you exit you’re hit with the wonderfully chilly Christmas air.

For a moment, you forget where you’re going.

Lights are hung up everywhere, across shops, tangled through trees and some floating in the air. You can’t see the night sky, Diagon Alley has one of its own, adorned with radiant moons and luminous stars just bright enough for people to navigate themselves through crowds with zero accidents. It feels breathtakingly overwhelming.

Glass ornaments are charmed to fly across, a special show prepared by Madame Mulkin, and Mr. Eyelop tuned in by letting out a few snow owls rest around random trees to add to the warm atmosphere. There’s flavour wafting around the air, you inhale again to identify it better.

Speeding your way through - it hits you, gingerbread and chocolate.

You clutch your bag towards your chest, suddenly you feel disgustingly sappy. Though, you are in public so you decide to shake off that small warmth threatening your heart and continue walking towards Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

The walk towards the shop feels too short again, you almost check your watch to see if Hermione’s playing with the time turner again.

You almost turn on your heel, dump the bundle of presents you’ve bought on their front door and leave. You can, in theory, you’ve separated from Aleyna and Blaise midway through and you can just run and never look back.

Tough luck, when you walk through the generously decorated shop and up the stairs, you’re disappointed to see their flat door wide open.

You stare at it, it feels too inviting. Frank Sinatra blares through the walls, you can smell hints of incense, trailing through your nose and tickling you, causing you to sneeze. You were always sensitive towards smells, and it never bothered you until now.

“Bless you!” George Weasley appears, rounding a corridor and greeting you with open arms into his neat dress shirt. He hugs you like you’re family, and if you weren’t holding a sack like Santa Clause with his your jolly ass hanging on by the mere piece of fabric of your dress you would have hugged back.

“Thanks, Happy Christmas George.” you smile when he takes the sack from your hands and weighs it with raised brows.

“You didn’t have to buy anything ____!” he pats your shoulder, hand trailing to your lower back to navigate you inside. “We are the gift givers, you’re our guest.”

You chuckle, walking through the long entrance corridor, “Of course I’m getting gifts you quack.”

George scoffs, “Using my words against me now are we?”

When you gaze up at the famous joke shop as a little civilian in the streets of Diagon Alley, you don’t expect to catch the sight of a flat this large. You knew it was sizable since two grown men somehow fit and live there, but you underestimated just how successful Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was.

The floors are wood, clean with even several shoes stepping around, chattering with wine glasses in their wobbly hands. A bulletin board hangs next to a quidditch rack filled with different kinds of equipment - old and new.

Too entranced by the cozy interior, you don’t bother stealing glances at the bulletin board. The kitchen and living room are connected, yet they still somehow feel like completely different rooms. The den is lit up by a brick fireplace, lightly crackling and making the atmosphere all the more comfortable. The soft fur (faux you hoped, though Mr Weasley did have a muggle hunting rifle phase which you thoroughly discouraged) carpet tickles your ankles and you have to hold onto George’s arm for support

“Bevvy?” he offers you, holding out a pint beer glass and you shake your head, admiring the apartment further.

Most couches are leather yet they still look comfortable, the kitchen is big but not obnoxiously so, you can hear the clinking of a foosball table - commotion makes sense in their apartment - the wide living space narrows through a corridor, leading to what you assume must be bedrooms.

You’re glad Fred and Eva broke up, because you decide then and there that you’re going to visit the twins everyday despite your history, just to step into this apartment again.

“____!”

Angelina’s sweet voice causes your unease to vanish in an instant and you crush her in a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas!” you smile, looping an arm around her shoulder and letting her guide you through the flat. “You changed your hair!”

Angelina nudges you with her hip, “Thank merlin you noticed, George is clueless.”

“Oh? George? You never told me - Hey Cho!”

You’re cut off by several familiar faces greeting you and telling you to make yourself comfortable. And you do, right next to Hermione and Ginny, two pregnant and fierce women that keep bickering with their husbands because of their weird cravings.

“I’m with you on this one Gin’!” you snort, eyeing Harry. You have a wine glass in one hand and the power you hold makes you feel too confident. “If the woman wants sausages marinated with toothpaste, she’s getting sausages marinated with toothpaste!”

Harry grumbles, “Will you please stop fueling this!” he protests, downing his drink and banging this on the table. “Look sweetheart, you wanted onions and mustard just a second ago so I got you ‘em, what made you change your mind?”

Ginny bangs her fist on the coffee table, in addition to Harry’s outburst. It seemed everyone was banging stuff on tables, so you do too.

“You think I know? Sod off or get me my toothpaste!” Ginny yells, banging another fist after you.

Harry kneels down next to the foot of the couch and holds his wife’s hand, gently massaging her knuckles. “We can’t get you toothpaste,” he says calmly.

“Why!” says Ginny, banging another fist.

“I think you know why,” says Harry.

“Stop damaging my property.” says George, materializing out of thin air.

You feel bad for Harry, you truly do but it only lasts for a second because this is even more entertaining than watching Aunt Muriel try to play foosball while shouting ‘Come at me you haired back marys!’

You’re enjoying yourself, the buzz, the warmth, the scent of fire. It’s comfortable and not at all like a party. It’s as if you’re visiting your friends for thanksgiving, homely and welcoming.

Though, the first crack forms when you see Fred, eyeing you from the small bar of their kitchen.

Dressed in navy slacks and a red, turtleneck sweater, he leans against the counter with a glass of Firewhiskey clutched on his big hand. He swirls it as his lips twitch, keeping his gaze set on you. His hair falls on his eyes, mostly pushed back but how strong hair gel can really be?

He looks good, way too good for a party. But it’s not the outfit, it's his entire presence. The way he holds himself, acts, speaks - shit, it’s attractive. He can do anything and he’ll always have that charismatic charm, it makes you feel envious, not to mention incredibly horny.

It’s Christmas, it’s a sacred holiday. You can’t let Fred sexy Weasley get to you, no matter how unapproachable and out of your league he looks.

You’re the bigger person - apparently - and you decide to greet him first.

You don’t know what compels you to do this, but it must be quite a strong force because you feel yourself start to quiver when you abandon your place on the couch. It’s so strong that your wobbly legs carry you while you push through tipsy friends and hold you up all the way to the kitchen area.

“Merry Christmas.” you croak, pulling him in a quick hug which he returns happily.

“Merry Christmas yourself.”  he smiles, gaze drifting lower to your dress only for a second before he swallows.

His signature cologne that you’ve engraved deep in your head this past week bursts out again. You smile softly, relishing in him.

“You look,” he seems to be giving much more thought on whatever he’s about to say, he settles on; “Beautiful, you’re, uh - the dress.” he finishes lamely.

“Oh,” your face falls. The dress is beautiful, not you. Of course. “Thank you, I would say you don’t look too bad yourself but that would be a lie.”

Fred raises a brow, putting his wine glass on the bar with a clink before slowly turning on his heel. “Aw, cheers love.” he says casually, “Wore it for you,”

You raise both your brows, “Is that so?” you fight a grin.

“This little number is my lucky charm.” he smirks, pulling on his shirt. “Made women fall at my feet back in the day, maybe you will too.” he finishes, more bashfully than before. His cheeks are tinted pink and, now, for the first time, you feel clueless.

Your heart stutters when you speak, “Trying to butter me up Frederick?” you say shly, nudging the tip of his shoe with yours.

Fred winks. “And what if I am?” he suddenly straightens, arms folding together. His head bows as he continues with a smile, “I’m joking, got this a week ago for the party.”

You fight the urge to smile, “Ah, so not the chick magnet.”

“Well,” Fred laughs, “It’s still very wolfish.”

“Whatever you say, big ole pussy cat.” you pat him on the shoulder.

Fred scoffs good naturally, “Ah, you hurt my pride ____.”

When you don’t say anything, his gaze falls on you. He takes the time to look at you, really take you in and it makes your efforts feel appreciated for once. He takes a deep breath, head careening left for a moment.

“It’s not just the dress.” he rubs the back of his neck, eyes falling on your scar. “You really are beautiful.”

Your hand immediately flies to your brow, tracing a finger down the gash. It’s not as noticeable anymore and your hair grew back - thankfully - but the knowledge that it’s still there, parading itself to everyone makes you feel much more self conscious than you should.

Fred’s hand closes over yours and you freeze. “You might not think so, but not only is your scar a wicked bedtime story, it’s very attractive.”

Your ears feel hot, “You think I’m attractive?”

It’s a nice compliment - especially when it comes from a man like Fred.

“Do I think you’re,” he gasps, giving you an incredulous look. “Of course you’re - ! I mean you can’t be asking me that - are you, gah!”

A chuckle bubbles from your throat. It’s quite amusing watching Fred Weasley struggling to speak, clearly embarrassed. The knowledge that you made him this way, you were sleeping like a baby tonight that’s for sure.

“Look, ____. I actually wanted to tell you something really important.” he fidgets with his cuffs.

You furrow your brows, “Of course, what is it?”

“I used to, well I think I still do because it never truly went away but - okay, this is harder than I thought.”

You chuckle nervously. “Fred, you’re freaking me out here.”

You hear him mutter something along the likes of what’s wrong with me, until he speaks again.

“What I meant to say was, I wan-“

“Oh my god, ____, Fred!”

When you left your apartment a few days ago, your mind didn’t calculate the outcomes of meeting Fred Weasley.

The impact is so strong that it causes your past to - not flash, because this is painful - slowly start playing before your eyes, like a play you have to sit through because the seats were expensive, and the star of the show, the star of your own life is standing right in front of you.

She’s wearing a gorgeous, gold cocktail dress. The costume design is delicate, it’s the type of dress you flutter your fingers in (the fabric is ticklish and soft, you just had to touch it) before moving onto the next. The rack is full of other suitable options, because you know you can never wear a dress like that.

But Eva can. She was always gorgeous, you couldn’t compare.

Fred’s eyes are wide, the way he’s tugging on your dress makes worry wash over you. “Eva? Erm - who invited you?” His words sound more bitter than he intends them to, or at least you think so.

“Oh, is that how you treat guests around here?” she fucking giggles, playfully slapping his shoulder.

You can’t tell if she’s purposely ignoring you - you’re standing right there - or just forgot your existence after seeing Fred in those pants because sweet merciful heavens.

Fred shifts uncomfortably, “Right sorry well, Merry Christmas!” he’s back to normal, addressing her as he addresses anyone else you can’t help but smirk.

Of course, you immediately jump on this opportunity. Eva may have ruined most of your childhood, she may currently look gorgeous - mockingly so, but you’re not kids anymore. No matter how insignificant you feel, you still have your pride to protect.

“Merry Christmas,” you add, jumping forward. “How long has it been?”

Eva’s expression turns sour, though she conceals it quickly. “____! Oh I love your dress.”

She doesn’t wish you a merry christmas.

“Happy holidays Freddie! Where can a girl get a drink around here?” she squeaks? You’re not sure, her voice is too sweet and you don’t know how to act.

Fred grins, “Right there,” he points to a corner far away from the kitchen. “Lee’s in charge of drinks, I’m sure he can hook you up with something.”

Eva ponders, pausing for a beat. She’s expectantly staring at Fred, though when he shows no intention of accompanying her she gives you a menacing look and leaves.

You didn’t expect a big reunion because you saw Eva a few months ago at the hospital, you had sprained an ankle while training with Ron, and she tried to heal you before the Head Healer cut in and told her to take a walk.

Fred’s weight relaxes as soon as Eva’s out of view, it doesn’t take much to know something happened between the two - it wasn’t a harmless breakup like Fred had told you. You don’t push it though, if he wants to tell you he will.

“Well that was,” you say, and he hums in response, swirling his drink in one hand. You watch the gold hue with him for a moment. “Interesting.”

He snorts, “She drops by every Friday to give me green apples. I hate green apples.”

“How long did you guys date?” you can’t help the words that tumble out of your lips.

He stares at you for a moment, you swear his lip almost twitch in a smile before he clears his throat. “Three years, I thought I loved her for a year.”

“Well what changed your mind?”

Fred looks at you like you just asked the dumbest question a joke shop owner could hear. “You, daft idiot, you did.”

“Wha-” you stammer. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Fred groans. “I need a drink.” and with that, he leaves towards where Eva previously walked on her precious Chanel heels. Leaves you alone.

It wasn’t like you called the man's family a disgrace and cursed his entire bloodline. Confused, you decide that maybe you need a drink as well to survive this night.

Everyone you had talked to so far ended with a disagreement, except George because he probably felt bad for you and your huge red gift sack. Embarrassment fills your cheeks as you walk towards the beverage table, you shouldn’t have come tonight.

The cherry on top gets dropped on the shit sundae when Eva Burke bumps into your shoulder and causes you to spill your drink.

“Oops! Babe I’m so sorry,” She pulls a red cloth from the glass table filled with different types of intoxications and rubs it on the fabric of your dress, further ruining it.

Embarrassment turns into frustration, this turns into pure anger. You see red.

You snatch the cloth from her hands and lightly push her forward, Eva dramatically - and very theatrically - falls on the ground with a yelp.

“Oh get up!” you hiss, throwing the cloth on the ground.

Eva scrambles to her feet, holding her right ankle with dainty, perfectly manicured hands. “Oh, now we’re turning to violence are we? Some things never change.”

You let out a frustrated grumble, stumping your heel on the ground. “I really don’t have time for this Eva.”

“We’re just talking babe, I don’t understand why you’re so upset over this.”

“I’m not upset, I’m tired.” you sigh.

Suddenly with her magically healed ankle she trudges forward. “Is it the dress?” she pouts, bending down to eye the splotch on your chest. “I can pay for it, say...two sickles?”

Your eyes narrow, “How about this, you show me how your career is going and I’ll decide if you can afford a wash.”

Eva barks out a laugh, “How about this, I’ll show you a family picture album.”

Gasping, you hold back the urge to slap her. You never expected Eva to stoop this low, and you know you shouldn’t be upset over it but it hurts. It hurts how easily she can use your family against you with no remorse.

Beyond pissed, insulted and done with tonight, you pull out your wand and get ready to apparate. This time it’s not to run away, nor do you feel like a coward. You feel tired, using your palms to press into your temple and relieve your throbbing headache.

Eva grips your wand and tries to pull you forward with failed force. “Let’s get this straight, Fred’s not interested in you.”

“And you think he’s interested in you?” you laugh, “You broke up remember?

Eva flings her long hair back, “And I’m gonna get him back. No one breaks up with me.”

“So, you're still a narcissistic bitch.” you smile.

“And you’re still pathetically clinging onto whatever I touch.” She takes a step forward, and it hits you then and there that you aren’t going home sooner or later. “Wanna know why we broke up?”

You hold your breath, her perfume is too sweet and you can’t process her words.

“He caught me cheating.” she smirks. “And he still begged me to stay, after all that.”

Your nostrils flare, and you’re about ready to punch her. You’ve never seen someone so prideful, so proud to have done something so obaminable. But it doesn’t surprise you, you pity her.

“Some loser from the bank.” she mockingly wipes a nonexistent tear with her jeweled wrist. “See, that’s the difference between me and you ____. “

You almost scream bloody murder. “Oh do enlighten me.” Your voice is weirdly high pitched but you don’t seem to care.

“He begged me, not you. He’ll never want you. You’ll always end up with the leftovers ____, accept that.” she hisses, taking another step forward.

You don’t know what you’ve done to the woman standing before you with nothing but red fire in her eyes, she looks ready to pull out your hair follicle by follicle, yet it makes you smirk. With a shit eating grin on your face, it hits you. “I knew it.” you laugh.

Eva stutters, “What?”

“Why you’re actually delusional to think he’s taking you back.”

“Oh but he will.” she protests, stomping her heel.

“No, he won’t.”

When you see Eva stay quiet, you continue. ”You grew up spoiled rotten, your parents love you, hell my parents love you, you always had the most friends and always got your way.”

She smirks, you’re tempted not to continue but years of pent up anger is ready to burst through your chest. “Yeah, jealous are we?” Eve mocks, and you quiver as you speak. Stating the obvious doesn’t hurt you anymore.

“No, because you grew up thinking everyone will love you, no matter how wrong you are, or what horrible things you do, you’ll always think that people won’t stop being by your side.” you shake your head, tutting. “But you’re wrong. I guess that’s what too much love does to you - you think a simple sorry will fix what you did? Because no, it won’t.”

“Oh stop it, Fred wants me back, it’s painfully obvious.” Eva speaks, but she doesn’t sound sure at all.

“I’ll make it clear for you.” you smile. “Fred won’t take you back for cheating, you won’t get a second chance in your career, and you sure as hell won’t be getting an apology from me.”

By now, you don’t care who's listening, because they are. Oh, they’re eating this kitty fight up like free dessert Monday at Fleur’s. Your childhood friends are watching you with intense, widened eyes. And somehow, in a cruel, wicked way, you feel satisfaction. The harsh words slipping out of your lips like nectar, in comparison to the way they slap Eva across the face fills you with nothing but disgusting satisfaction.

Sure, it’s immature and yes, you could’ve worded everything much better to be even more impactful, but the way her eyes are bloodshot and vengenceful, it’s enough for you.

Eva grits her teeth, and you know she doesn’t have much to say. “I don’t need an apology from you, ____.” she speaks, and her next words cause you to freeze, because no matter what wrong doing, she’s still right. ”You’re right, I might not be forgiven, but in the end I will always be better than you. People will always favour me more and you can never change that.”

You try to lunge forward, teeth gritter. With harsh impact, you topple backwards. Strong arms are wrapped around your chest, holding you back from gouging Eva’s eyes out with the toothpick from the martini glasses.

“Nice weather we’re having,” Fred says, a deep rumble coming from his chest and against your back. You fight the urge to shiver, though you’re way too angry to be thinking of how good he smells. “Why don’t we sober up sweetheart.” he asks you, whispering.

“No!” you shriek, struggling to move forward. “This isn’t over until I break her nose!”

Eva laughs, “Oh come at me, babe! Let’s see what a traumatized neglected child can do, yeah?” her eyes flash.

A deep, growling of distress leaves you. “Oh let me go! Let’s see what a filthy adulter can do!”

“I didn’t mean to cheat you know!”

You groan, “Heaven’s above let me go Fred.”

Eva takes two steps forward before Lee grasps her arms. “But these things happen for a reason!” her shrill voice causes you to wince.

“Yeah, you!” you cry.

Eva shrieks, lunging forward in an attempt to reach you again, and at that moment Fred seems to have about enough.

“Alright, that’s it.” His stern voice causes you to flinch, muscular arms still holding you close to his chest, he yanks you backwards and starts walking towards the corridor. “That’s enough with the both of you, Lee take Eva outside, get her some fresh air.”

——————

Fred has the decency to take you to his bedroom rather than toss you outside like he had done with Eva.

If the situation was any different, you’d be over the moon right now. Alone? With Fred Weasley? In his big bedded, fireplace occupying, additional bathroom having bedroom?

Said situation did not have you sitting on a leather rocking chair, big mug of coffee in hand while Fred lectures you like a parent. Actually, you wouldn’t know.

You’ve been quiet for the past fifteen minutes, too scared to say anything and anger him further. You knew how much this party meant to him, and you had ruined it with your childish, pent up jealousy. It wasn’t just you per say, but you had let Eva get to you.

“Can’t the two of you act your age for one fucking second,” he groans, hand propped against the brick fireplace. “I know how infuriating she is, but you-” inhaling sharply, he strides towards you. “Say something will you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me she cheated?”

Fred’s expression softens. “What?”

You gulp, you shouldn’t have brought it up when he was agitated, but you can’t listen to him while the words echo around your head. You feel awful, insensitive, anything else to call yourself that makes you feel better towards your lack of judgement. “She cheated, you didn’t tell me. Why?”

Fred pauses, after what feels like a seconds he bends down on his knees in front of you while you watch him, engrossed.

“Been waiting for you to bring it up.” he chuckles, his smile disappearing in an instant. His ginger locks hang in front of you and you realize that his shampoo, like the rest of him, smells amazing. You fight the intense urge to card your fingers through.

“Merlin, I just,” he meets your eyes. “I felt ashamed.”

Suddenly standing up, your hands flail. “Why?”

Fred stands up as well. His stance alarms you, arms wrapped around himself, brows furrowed and defensive. “Not ashamed because of you, because of myself.”

You take a step forward when Fred indicates that he’s going to continue. “I thought you were going to judge me. Bloody coward, can’t even break up with his cheating girlfriend.”

You scoff, “Fred, I’ve known you since I was eleven. Sure we had some tough times but do you really think that low of me?”

Now he scoffs, it’s nothing short of mockery. “Tough times my arse. You avoided us like the plague, ____.”

“I had my reasons,” you raise your voice, wincing slightly and it only fuels Fred’s anger.

“Proper liar you are, you didn’t even write, or even just explain why you suddenly walked out.”

You don’t feel ashamed for what you did, it was for your own good. Though, Fred’s right. You never gave a proper reason other than those childish insults at Hog’s Head. But now, with your head banging, you can’t think logically.

“Again.” you grit your teeth, words spilling between like venom. “I had my reasons.”

Fred quickly stalks towards you, enough so you can reach a hand, grab his jaw and smash your lips against his. But you don’t. “Excuse me for not giving a rat's arse about your reasons, do you know how worried I was!”

His words pull a small gasp from your lips, you refuse to believe him. “If you were so worried, you could’ve spoken to me all those years. How about that summer huh? I stayed over.”

“But I did speak to you!” Fred shouts, and your fists clench. “You were a bitch to me, remember?”

Your groan is filled with contempt. “You take that back!” your fist lifts to smack him on the chest, and you curse his overwhelmingly hard and attractive biceps. Shit, you really shouldn’t be feeling like this during a fight.

“You wanna know why I did all that?” you cry out, tears ready to strain your cheeks but you won’t forgive yourself if you cried in front of him.

“Oh do tell?” he seethes, grasping your fist in a quick motion and holding it beside him before you can smack his chest again. “Merlin woman keep your-”

“Because I was in love with you, you dickwad!”

Fred freezes - second time that night.

Your heartbeat pounds against your chest, you feel vulnerable. Oh so vulnerable and stupid, you shouldn’t have said it.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You should have just kept your stupid mouth shut, dragged your stupid ass back home and took a stupid shower.

But it was too late.

Fred takes a slow step back, continued by several until he’s on the other side of the room with his arms propped against a wall, head hanging low. He’s breathing heavily, you’re finally crying.

“So you aren’t going to say anything?” you yell, stomping your heel on the ground. “Do you know how hard it was for me to watch you and Eva all those years, you wouldn’t even look at me.” you choke on your sobs, remembering everything. The painful memories, the emotions hit you like the Ford Angelia with Ron behind the wheels.

“The Yule Ball, I saw you two together. It hurt so much and I cou- umpfh”

You almost swallow your tongue.

Soft lips, those are the only words writing out in your mind. Fireworks erupting around the letters and causing shivers to run around your entire being. Taken aback, you can’t move until your mind processes that Fred Weasley is kissing you.

Fred groans, opening your mouth with his and grazing his tongue against your bottom lip. It’s so gentle that you doubt you feel it, until his hand grips the back of your head and presses you against him harder. Now you can taste the wet, warm feel of his tongue against yours, the certain flicks of the tip gracing your own.

He pulls back only slightly, panting against your lips and causing your breaths to intermingle intimately. “The Yule Ball,” he starts, going back in for another, hurried kiss.

“She told me, you - closer.” He yanks you in by your waist with his other hand, palm gripping your ass and kneading it with vigour.

“Told me she saw you with someone else,” he pulls you closer when your hands wrap around his shoulders. “It broke me ____.”

“Fred,” you sigh, gripping on his sweater tighter.

“That’s Freddie for you, love.”

Heat curls in your lower belly. His lips are on yours again, begging you for something you didn’t quite know yet. “Freddie,” you chant.

“That’s right.” he chuckles lowly, his rumbling voice against your chest.

You merely shiver, latch onto the tufts on his neck and anchor him lower to your lips until your lungs are overwhelmed with nothing but slow, languid kisses. Fred kissed really good - oh who were you kidding, he was the best kiss you’ve ever had. It’s addictively so, and you chase his lips when he pulls away.

“I,” he breaths, whispering. “I was so devastated by what Eva told me,” he hugs you tighter. “I loved - still love you so much, I didn’t know how to cope.”

“You love me?” Now, there’s more tears. You aren’t sure if they’re of pure joy, frustration or the ache between your legs. “For how long?”

“Since third year,” he murmurs against your cheek, breathing in your scent and shakily exhaling. “I still wear the bracelet, never took it off.”

“I saw,” you nuzzle your head in his chest, your heart feels like it’s about to burst. “It made me so happy, I thought you would have lost it by now or something.”

“Oh Flower, there you are hurting my pride again.”

The nickname knocks all the breath out of your lungs. You only hug him tighter, not daring to mention that throughout these years you flinched whenever someone said flower, or how you simply refused to visit any flower shop. Yes, it did cause problems during holidays and of course, funerals but at least your Disney gift cards contained sentiment.

“I wasn’t with anyone during the Yule Ball.” you mutter.

“I know.”

“Then why didn’t you come back?”

Fred shivers. “I didn’t know back then, Merlin if I had…”

“You’re an idiot.” you chuckle, hurriedly wiping away the drying tears from your cheeks.

“That’s right,” Fred rasps, pulling your face towards his. “I’m a stupid, stupid prat.”

That was, if the loud countdown roaring outside Fred’s bedroom door didn’t ruin the most pleasurable lips you were going to taste - yet again.

Your eyes widen, Fred whines and pulls you back into his arms but you’re already rushing to the closed door. “We’re missing the count down!”

“Oh come one,” Fred steps behind you, hand over yours to grip the knob. You struggle under his hold and try to turn it. “I’ll make you count, hop on the bed, love.”

You have to gulp down nothing but air to keep yourself at bay. God, yes, you would have shouted, stripped naked and let him have his way with you.

But you can’t, not with your friends right outside the door, slightly tipsy and merrily counting down from ten. Speaking of, they’re nearing seven - you have exactly seven seconds to push Fred off and throw yourself outside.

Six seconds until you turn the knob and ignore Fred’s protests, five until Harry and Ginny throw their arms around your shoulders, four until George decides not the comment on you and Fred’s flushed appearance, three until Fred does, two until you’re suddenly pulled forward - one, Fred’s kissing you in front of his friends and family.

Fuck.

It was that one, long second that Ron lets the confetti burst in utter silence while everyone stares at you. It’s a quick yet passionate peck - enough for couples to abandon their new year's kiss and focus solely on yours.

“Finally!” George yells.

Ginny cheers after his brother, “Took you ten bloody years!”

Last of the Weasleys, Ron, gapes. “When did that become a thing?” he mutters, completely oblivious but still happy nonetheless.

If Hermione and Ginny hadn’t swept you away, you would have spent your night glued to Fred’s side, demanding to show him off after all those years of pining.

Your two friends keep asking questions - not overly detailed considering Fred’s Ginny’s older brother. Your lips hurt from smiling by the end of your overly exaggerated story,

The end of the night brings tranquility over the apartment, after presents are ripped open and everyone says their goodbyes, you’re left alone the twins, helping them clean the flat with quick flicks of your wand.

Your watch reads one thirty, you need to leave soon. Aleyna and Blaise hadn’t shown, which only means the proposal was a success. You want to go home and congratulate them, but also spend some time with Fred.

Fred himself is busy wiping pint glasses and lining them neatly in empty cupboards. The both of you keep stealing glances at each other, and it would have been more romantic if George would stop scoffing whenever Fred bashfully smiled in your direction.

“____.”

You hum in acknowledgment, watching Fred’s back shuffle as he washes the dishes.

“Thanks for giving a hand, you didn’t have to.” George smiles kindly, hands tucked in his pockets.

You smile back, “Oh it’s alright.”

“I just wanted to apologize.” he looks down, it isn’t the dorky shyness George casually sports at times, he looks sorrowful.

“For what?” you ask, lips lowering into a frown to match his.

“For being a git all those years back. I was young and a shit head. I’m sorry.” he sighs, leaning his shoulder on the wall.

You chuckle, just the familiar voice of George resurfaces pleasant memories you wished you never forgot. “It’s alright, I’m over it.”

“Really?” he raises a brow. “Because I wouldn’t forgive myself personally. Go on, give me a smack or something.”

“I’m not smacking you George.” you say, you make sure your tone sounds playful to put his mind at ease. “We all had our issues, I probably should have talked to you guys instead of just storming off. Partly my fault.”

George smiles, “It wasn’t your fault, but I’m glad you can forgive me.” He squeezes your shoulder in a way to reassure you, while it feels like he needs it more. You nod fondly.

“And about Eva, we didn’t really like her, y’know. She told us that you needed space, and that we should leave you alone. Just now realizing how rubbish it sounds.”

“Took you long enough.”

He chuckles again, much more genuine like you prefer and pushes himself off the wall. “I better get some sleep,” he glances at Fred, “leave you two alone. And ____, please don’t distance yourself.”

“I won’t.”

Your lie slips so easily.

It’s the welcoming silence that accepts your doubts with open arms - everything was happening overwhelmingly quick, or was it just your fear of being left alone again?

You smile at George when he retires to his room, it’s more of a constipated grimace but George seems to have bought it.

You take this time to finally think, let your protective walls analyse what the fuck happaned in the last five hours because it was too good to be true. Fred couldn’t simply love you that easily, after everything he did. It didn’t explain why he started dating Eva without consulting you first, or how he was with her that night after the Yule Ball. If he loved you this much, why would he bury himself between her legs, abandon you in the hollow halls of Hogwarts? Why would he believe her so easily?

“____.”

Even his voice sounds distant. You can’t tell if it’s him speaking or your past.

“____, darling.”

Nope, that’s definitely Fred. His frustratingly sexy cologne is mocking you like every other amazing aspect this man has.

“Huh?” you snap out of your thoughts. “Oh, yes hello.”

Fred tilts his head to the side, expression softening the moment you speak. “You okay? Something on your mind?”

You tentatively shake your head. Fred sighs and reaches out to stroke your head - you close your eyes but the feeling of his calloused hands never show.

Eyes fluttering open, you realize your fears are coming true. He’s going to tell you that he changed his mind, that he doesn't love you and this is all a big mistake.

“Sorry,” he breathes, cheeks alight. You hold in your breath, ready to face the truth.

Fred’s silent; he’s doing that thing again. The thing where he somehow magically thinks he can communicate with you without saying anything.

“Fred,” you sigh, and his face drops. “Why did you date Eva if you loved me so much?”

There, you asked it. Because if you hadn’t, it would haunt you for the rest of your days, crawl around your heart like an infectious disease. You have enough of those, you don’t want another.

Fred breathing sputters, he looks at you like you know the answer. “Because…it was the closest thing to you I could have. I know it sounds awful-“

“Yes it does, and stupid!”

“I know!” he exclaims. “I didn’t know how to cope, she gave me the affection I longed to get from you.”

Your eyes start to swell, the sentence should make you remotely happy but it doesn’t. “Why did you stay with her for so long?”

“Look.” Fred cups your face, breathing heavily. “Yes, at first it was because I was petty. I thought you were with someone else that bloody night, I was heartbroken and needed a distraction. She was the closest thing.”

“That doesn’t explain the rest-“

“Let me finish!” He sounds earnest, adamant on wiping all your doubts and replacing them with nothing but his love. If only it was that easy.

“I can’t do this tonight Fred-“

“Please just call me Freddie.” he whimpers, kissing your cheek harshly. He stands there, face close to yours like if he let go you would leave.

I“I’m tired, I have a headache and my feet hurt.” you’re crying, again. Nothing out of the ordinary considering you’ve been doing it damn well for the last eight years.

“Stay over the night, it’s late. I’ll make you some chamomile, you always loved chamomile. Please.” Fred begs, lips against your cheek and you can feel the wetness of his own tears. His forehead presses against your temple. “Don’t leave me again.”

Your heart aches, it’s the most painful kind of hurt you’ve been dreading to feel again after all these years. This was worse than the neglect of your parents, the pain that night in the Burrow caused, watching Fred introduce Eva to his mother. This was why you’ve been avoiding him.

Because this time you know what to do, you know what’s for the best and it takes all of the protection you’ve built for yourself to push Fred off. Now, there’s none. Now, you’re standing before him, vulnerable and all your emotions on display.

“Goodnight Fred, merry christmas.”

This time, the door you walk out of feels much smaller and suffocating.

————

It’s ironic how the weather matches your mood for six days.

Saturday; clear skies with a blizzard hidden beneath the clouds. Aleyna’s engagement celebration. Show up with puffy eyes enough to make you blind, sit through nice dinner without crying, eventually start crying when she shows you the ring, act like you’re crying because you’re happy, get snot all over Aleyna’s ring, walk home while the storm finally presents itself and tells you that you’re a miserable piece of shit.

Sunday; small flurry. Spend your day weeping quietly and eating leftover takeout while browsing through your tv cable. Eventually watch a romantic movie, weep more.

Monday; cloudy, soft breeze. Cry more, hug your slightly overweight cat and get dragged outside by Aleyna because she figures out that you didn’t sob in front of an entire restaurant because your best friend was getting married. Sit at her bar, drink beer and stuff your face with cornish pasties while you tell her what happened, until you eventually pass out.

Tuesday; cloudy and dark. Spend your day thinking if you’ll ever be loved again. Regretful, pained, hungover and miserably under caffeinated.

Wednesday; crazy fucking blizzard that catches you so off guard you forget you ruined you chances with Fred Weasley for a moment. Aleyna tells you how stupid you are, you realize how stupid you are, then find out Aleyna is more of a snake than she lets on because she lets you eat a whole pack of doughnuts and that amazing Shepherd’s Pie her mom makes.

Thursday; clear skies. Not a cloud in sight. Your head is unusually clear, maybe too clear because you forget to feed Jambo and take out the trash. You think about running back to the joke shop, tell Fred you love him and that you don’t give a shit about the past anymore. But you don’t.

And now it’s Friday. You’re sitting on your bed, Aleyna in your closet, flinging clothes at you for you to try on because she insists you go out. It’s been a week since you walked out on Fred, again, and perhaps made the biggest mistake of your life.

“Stop wasting away your pathetic life here and do it outside!” she yells, voice getting closer when she comes into view.

“Aleyna, I’m really not in the mood.” you dismiss, laying back on your bed. “I just, should I go to him?”

Aleyna groans, pained. “Merlin forbid, this is the millionth time you ask me. I tell you yes, you don’t do it.”

“What if he says it’s too late, and it is! I don’t deserve-“

“Shut up. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. What matters is that you need to at least try.”

You need to at least try. Aleyna’s voice echoes around your head after she leaves and you're back to your routine. Get up, brush your hair because the tangles bother you more than you let on, (and sometimes your teeth, if you feel like it.) then stay in your pyjamas all day while lazing around your apartment. You’ve started making coffee for yourself again, which is a small step but still encouraging. Plopping down on your couch, you sigh. Jambo follows, leaving fur floating around the air in his wake.

Love To Love You Baby by Donna Summers plays softly in the background, your magic radio is mocking you yet again on how single and sad you are. Especially after how long it has been since you’ve had sex. It’s painful, but you can’t help but think of Fred whenever you try to at least relieve some stress. Of course, this ends with you curled in a corner and crying, it’s frustrating how much he turns you on, and now knowing you can never have him-

Jambo’s loud meow reminds you that you haven’t brushed him today and you slowly get up, striding to the kitchen. You try to relax your mind but your chest feels even tighter with your effort. Your house is an organized mess, you didn’t bother cleaning up throughout the stages of your grief.

You should talk to him. You should go outside, get fresh air, make out a game plan and at least talk to him. Fred’s kind, the funniest, most lovingly stubborn man you’ve ever met. He doesn’t deserve what you’re putting him through. You don’t want to leave things so bittersweet again, you want to keep seeing George, even Fred if time allows.

The pain of your past doesn’t allow you to follow your desires. You hate yourself for it and it’s only a matter of time before you break and go back to your old, quiet self. It’s as if the past got your wrists on lock, holding you back whenever you try to sprint free and love again. You thought Fred would have unlocked the chains and swept you away, but that was before you decided that he shouldn’t.

Gripping the fur comb on your left hand, Jambo watches you walk over to him with big eyes. He looks triumphant, lying on his chubby stomach and readying himself for the brush of his three year life.

Knock Knock

Perhaps this is why Jambo hates Aleyna. You chuckle. “Sorry Bo, give me a minute. She probably forgot her coat again.”

You put down the comb and rush over to the door. Not bothering to check through the peephole, you fling the door open while laughing. “Forgot your condoms or some-“

By the look Fred gives you, you’d think he hits it raw.

“Fred.” you whisper, frozen with your hand gripped on the handle.

He looks haggard, eye bags under his eyes with slightly damp hair sticking out obscenely from the sides. It looks longer, or perhaps it's the way he quickly runs a hand through it and smooths it back. You probably look no different, yet Fred still looks unfairly handsome, eyes dripping with honey and curved bottom lip tucked between his teeth.

Your heart hammers in your chest as you take in his appearance. He’s wearing a simple black pullover with a pea coat messily tucking in the material of his hoodie. You can see the after effects of the snow outside visible on his grey sweatpants, you can’t tell if he came to your house straight after working out for…however long he works out to have thighs like that.

“Can I-“ he gives you a look over and you blush. There’s a hundred different things you want to say, and you merely stay quiet and look at him with hopeful eyes. Coward. “Can I come in?”

You step aside wordlessly. He takes one, big step and he’s inside. Cursing his giant legs, you close the door behind him.

“Wow,” he clears his throat, looking around your apartment. “Nice place.”

“Thank you.”

Fred’s hand twitches when he hears your voice, as if he hadn’t heard it since he was a child. As if he was hearing it for the first time.

As soon as he steps in, his cologne engulfs the air around him - as if he’s marking himself in your house and leaving his delicious after taste. You would tell him he smells amazing but the air between you is too tense to say anything but;

“Fred I-“

“I wanted to-“

Fred breaks out into a smile, and you follow. It looks like a grimace, a hopeful one though. “I wanted to apologize.”

Your heart swells. You know it shouldn’t, because you don’t deserve an apology but the fact that he thought of you makes you feel like you have another chance. Of course you do, the poor man walked over to your house in the middle of a snowstorm. There’s got to be something there, right?

“Fred,-“

“No, let me finish this time.”

You stay silent.

“Been trying to think of the right ruddy words to say this past week but fuck that.” he growls, shrugging off his coat when you offer. “I’m not waiting any bloody longer.”

“I admit that at some point,” he starts, taking a deep breath. “I had feelings for Eva. That’s why I didn’t break up with her. It was well after three months of us dating and I thought I moved on.” you usher him to sit down, quickly following behind. Your legs feel wobbly as he continues.

“That’s why I didn’t break up with her, and I won’t deny that what I had with her was nice, but it wasn’t you. No one ever compared to you ____. I was fine until you decided to stop being our friend.”

“I didn’t decide that, It was something I had to do.” you defend fiercely, sitting next to him on the bar stool of your kitchen island. Damn rich apartments.

“I know that now, but at that time I thought you hated me. I clung onto Eva because I thought - seeing as she was your childhood friend - we’d be friends again.”

You scoff. “Look how that turned out.”

Fred raises a brow.

“Sorry, continue.”

“I started getting over it until that summer happened. It killed me to see you again, that’s when I realized I could never stop loving you. I blamed myself for everything, for fucking up all my chances even though I-“

You put a hand on his shoulder, “Freddie, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Fred pauses, squeezes your hand and gives you a wide, hopeful smile that punches you right in the heart. His head dips down to rest on your shoulder and he sighs. “You called me Freddie.”

“I did.” you smile.

“I wanted to talk to you, but you kept avoiding me. With the war and everything I just couldn’t, especially after that near death thing.”

“Near what?” You gasp.

Fred chuckles, as if it was no big deal. It makes your chest ache. “I got trapped under a wall, Georgie saved me. Owe him my bloody life. Took me sometime to get over it though, those were the times I needed someone the most.” he takes a deep breath before continuing.

“It was around those times that I found out Eva cheated on me. She was acting dodgy the past few months, and I feel awful for feeling relieved when we broke up.”

“But, that’s not your fault.” you sigh, hand caressing his back gently. He relaxes at your touch and a smile tugs at your lip at this. “You don’t owe Eva a damn thing. It’s okay to feel like that, because I do.”

Fred laughs, a small melodic sound that brings you pride that you pulled it out of him. “Oh, is that how it works now?”

“Yep, I said so.” you give him a toothy grin, and he chuckles, further causing your ruin.

But you can’t let things get too comfortable, not before you’re completely honest with him. Here he is, vulnerable and open, telling you his entire life story and you sure as hell are going to do the same - minus some embarrassing parts.

“Do you,” you clear your throat, awkwardly shuffling on your stool. The seat is uncomfortable and it makes everything all the more frustrating. “Do you want to know what I was thinking before you showed up?”

Fred pauses, gaze lingering over your face attentively. Breath catching, you let him look at you. Directly, fully look at you. He flushes, quickly hidden away by his hand when he nods his head slowly and leans on his palm.

“I was thinking of you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I was thinking if I should just go to you myself.”

Fred takes a quick breath. Shuddering because of the cold, surely, his tone is soft and barely above a whisper. “Why didn’t you?”

“I was scared you’d reject me. I was going to apologize to you, get on my knees and beg for forgiveness until you gave me a second chance.”

“Oh.”

You let him grasp your chin and turn your face towards his, he lovingly strokes your cheek, long finger somehow reaching easily. “I’m sorry Freddie, I love you.”

“I’ve waited to hear those words for so long.” his chest heaves when he responds.

“Well, how much of a let down is it?” you smile, nuzzling your hand in his palm.

He leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead, then to your cheek. “Let down?” he tells you, as if he heard the most obscene thing. “It’s so much better than I could have imagined, and I’m sorry too. I hate myself for letting you go through so much pain on your own. If I wasn’t such a clueless git I could’ve done this much earlier.”

“Do what?”

Fred kisses you. It’s not urgent, nor wanton, it’s soft and tender that still leaves you breathless. He leans his forehead against yours, and you ruin the kiss by smiling but he couldn’t care less. Opening your mouth, you let him flick your tongues together until it’s a sloppy, needy mess.

He groans, and that’s when you know the kiss progressed much too far to stop now. The needy ache between your legs pushes you to hover yourself over him, and his strong arms grasp you by the waist. His lips aren’t a perfect fit, it makes the kiss all the more pleasurable and it’s until he’s slowly walking towards your bedroom with your legs tucked around his hips that you break away.

“Fred,” you sigh when he sets you down against a wall. “I want you.”

He frowns, “It’s Freddie, how many times-“ he gathers your knee in one hand and pushes his crotch against your center with a grunt. “Do I have to tell you?”

You barely respond, clawing at his back. The curve of his thick cock gradually growing, his thighs encasing around your legs feels too damn good and you don’t know how long until you’re fully at his mercy. Fred roughly rolls his hips, a deep grumble leaving him and the stimulation is enough to make you whine. “Again,” you rock your pervis.

“Oh yeah?” he smirks, humping you harder. “You like this? How much? Let me feel.”

You rut against him desperately, trying to get off on the friction Fred barely decides to provide.

True to his word, Fred kisses you again with a groan, this time sparing you no tenderness and sucking on your bottom lip until it throbs. His hips continue to rut all the while his free hand slithers down your clavicle, down the sides of your waist - he makes sure to spread his palm wide to feel you everywhere - until he teasingly snaps the band of your pyjama bottoms. You yelp, relishing in his moans.

“If you like it so much- well shit.” his eyes flutter shut the moment he feels your slick from your underwear. “My love, you’re so wet that I bet I can taste you through your panties.”

If you weren’t wearing your yellow duck polka dot panties this would have been more sexier, and it takes Fred talking about eating you out to realize - oh my god, you’re wearing your duck panties.

“Fred, don-“

Fred has already pushed your bottoms down, revealing the abomination and further causing your face to feel hotter.

“Oh?” he smirks. “Sexy lingerie, all for me?”

You groan, hiding your face in his shoulder while he laughs at you. You feel his chest bob, and you can’t help but giggle alongside him.

“Now, strip.” he commands, and all the humor in the situation vanishes in an instant.

He lets go of your knee and you easily slip out of your bottoms, then slowly said polka dot panties. He grips your thighs, hoisting you up on his hips again and before you know it, he’s stumbling into your room.

His hand is cupping the back of your head, somehow gone there the moments he walked. You wouldn’t know, it’s hard to concentrate on anything else when the heat of his cock between your thighs feels like that.

Fred deposits you on the messily scattered forest you call your bed, and the smell of linen mixed with his cologne is enough for you to grind your hips on nothing.

Fred tuts, pushing a palm flat on your hip. He trails his hand between your legs and palms your pussy, bare. “Babe, you’re dripping. Since how long?”

You whine, “Since the moment you walked through - ah, my door.”

Fred’s eyes glaze over with nothing but dangerous greed. Dipping his knee on the mattress, he manhandles you into submission. “You think you can just get away with saying shit like that?” he groans, eyes fixating on wherever it lands on your body. It’s like he’s trying to take it all in, overwhelmed yet still wanton.

He shuffles to sit against your headboard and pats his large thigh, you waste no time crawling towards him. He quickly grabs your waist before you can approach him. Pulling you against him with your knees propped between his thighs, he’s face to face with your pussy and drooling.

“Such a sweet, pretty cunt.” he breathes, gently kissing your clit. You cry out, knees buckling but Fred’s large palms are flat on your ass and adamant on keeping you up and against his lips. Your center throbs, this is all you have ever wanted - the both of you have ever wanted and Fred has the audacity to tease.

“I know, I know.” He gently sushes. “I need to,” his head leans on your abdomen, desperate. “Need to get you ready for my cock.”

You barely nod, Fred seems to be in battle with himself. You don’t know which side wins, until he starts to suckle your clit with continuous, obscene kissing noises. You grip his shoulder, body bending in half. It feels so good, too good that you can’t hold straight. “Please - Fred,”

Gasping, your pelvis rocks forward. He keeps you still with his muscles digging in your hips, ass, back - everywhere he’s desperately roaming and memorizing.

His tongue finally darts forward - you knew that goddam tongue would be what did it - you nearly collapse, melting forward. It’s wet and warm and god - almost what you imagine his dick might feel like if it ever prods at your entrance.

He’s licking with bold, textured strokes. Your thighs are quivering, it’s the sudden brush of pleasure that meets your cunt every other second that causes this.

“Shit,” Fred pulls back, one hand holding your thighs wider. His thumb circles around your entrance and you cry out in pleasure. “My balls feel so fucking tight ____. If I keep this up, I might just come before I can put my dick in you.”

“Then - ahh Freddie!”

“Don’t get mouthy with me.” he smirks, sliding a finger inside. “I knew what you were gonna say before you opened that sweet mouth of yours.”

He fucks you like this, wet squelching noise mixing with your pants and moans. Working you open, Fred curls a finger inside and your thighs finally give out. “Merlin, you’re gonna get it,” he gives you a sweet kiss on the stomach. “I’m just as desperate to fuck you. Look,”

You do look, very gladly at that. He adds a second finger the moment your eyes fall on the wet patch of his bottoms. He’s rutting against nothing, all the while scissoring his fingers inside you - and from the look he gives you, you know he’s imagining what it's like to be inside you.

“Fred!” you gasp, rocking faster until your legs start to jerk and twitch. You don’t want to come yet, want to savor the way Fred’s fucking you with nothing but two fingers and it’s better than any sex you’ve had.

Your arousal pools between his fingers, dripping down his bracelet adorned wrist, all the way down to his veiny forearms. It’s a sight for sore eyes, Fred watches in a trance, gaze half lidded. You can see his cock twitch in his pants and he moans, “Fucking hell babe, look at the mess you’ve made.”

His thumb presses against your center with his two other fingers working, and he roughly drags it over to your clit to press. He’s licking again, slurping noises mixing with the pats of his tongue quickly dragging across your pussy.

That does it. Whining, and with quick breaths you hurtle towards such an intense orgasm that you swear you see Santa himself and his jingle fucking bells. It’s sudden and weakening, you barely register. Fred’s there all the while, desperately licking every drop of his hard work until there’s nothing. He groans and moans, like he’s having his thanksgiving now.

He’s not like a starved man, or any other cliche line you can think of. No, it’s like he has made a deal with the devil and is captured by the dark vitality of greed. He can’t stop, and merlin, do you not want him to.

“That was,” you breathe, taking a seat on his thigh when he allows.“That was the best orgasm I’ve had.”

“And that was the most gorgeous sight I have ever seen.” Fred smiles, it slowly turns into a smirk. The cocky bastard is way too proud of himself. He should be though, it’s been a while since you’ve had sex - if it always felt like this you would have never stopped.

But you know it never feels this good. No, it’s because of Fred. It’s him, and how much you love him, and how attractive he is - how skilled, amazing, passionate of a man he is. He’s perfect and way out of your league but you don’t care because he’s finally yours.

Said man is breaking out in a sappy grin, kissing your lips sweetly to whisper against them. “Get used to it.” He kisses you again. “I’m going to make you come again, and again, and again until you can’t walk.” he’s lowering you down onto your back, hands caressing your thighs.

“Really?”

“Especially now that I know how sweet and tight you are,“ Fred runs a finger through your pussy and you whimper. “How amazing you smell,” he dips down to lazily suck a hickey on your collarbone. “How soft your skin is,” his hands are lifting your waist up to unhook your bra. “How much I’m in love with you.”

Your gaze softens, and you let him undress you, bra after shirt until you’re left bare beneath. He shivers, his eyes are darting everywhere, to the curve of your hips, up your stomach - and finally, the slope of your breasts. He sucks in a breath. “You,” he rasps. “You had this bikini, that summer.”

“Wha- which one?”

“The white one.”

Your eyes widen. “Oh.”

“We all loved that bikini, especially the days when the lake was particularly cold. Your nipples would be crystal fucking clear.”

You should feel embarrassed, fuck you really should but you knew what you were doing when you bought that bikini. That doesn’t stop you from acting clueless though, “Fred you big oa - oh!”

Fred dips to suck on your nipples, mouth wide open and hungry. “From that day onward, I fucking knew your tits were amazing.” he groans, gazing at them for a moment. “ Shit, was I right.”

You feel his clothed cock rub against you as he speaks - and it finally becomes a problem.

“A-ah, Fred. Clothes,” you barely gesture, though Fred understands you quickly. Sitting back on his heels, he swiftly removes his hoodie overhead.

Of course he isn’t wearing anything underneath.

Of course he has abs.

You curse under your breath - Fred’s chest is well defined, as you expected it to be. Well toned pecs, pert nipples hard and on display, golden skin stretching over his abdomen and six pairs of muscles you’d like to mark. He’s lean yet buff, corded well with muscle and now you know where those enthusiastic years of Quidditch have gone into

You reach for his arm, Fred quickly obliges and lets you guide his palm flat on your body. You breathe heavily - you love how you're he’s feeling you up like this. His hand lands on your breast, and he gives it a rough squeeze before rolling off the bed to get out of his bottoms.

“Are you trying to kill me, doing that? Huh?” he rasps, stumbling slightly. He swings his socks somewhere and gets back on the bed. “Is that what you want?”

When you don’t respond, he chuckles. Slowly, he pushes down his boxer briefs. It’s teasing, this motion. But then again, everything about Fred Weasley is.

His cock slaps against his abdomen - that’s how big it is. You feel yourself salivate, pupils expanding at the thought of such a thick, attractive cock inside you. You almost jump forward and sit on it but when you see the angry red color of his cock, the twitching of his head and the pre-cum that drips, it becomes clear how much he has been holding back.

Fred grips his cock and the head gushes slightly, you feel your cunt flutter. “Come here.”

You let him grip your body and settle you on his lap, entrance inches away from the head of his cock. You’re making eye contact, it’s almost intimidating how intense his gaze is. On your heat, breasts and fucked out face. “Merlin, I’ve been dreaming about this for fucking years. Let me,” he breathes. “I should just take a picture and stare at it all day.”

“Why take a picture when you have the real thing.” you smirk slightly.

Fred groans, “Ohh, you’re such a good girl.”

You smile, “Freddie, please get a condom. Flattery won’t get you that far.”

“Damn it.” he smiles jokingly, reaching for your night stand.

“Wait, shit.” you get off his lap and down your bed, legs wobbling a bit as you stride towards your dresser with hurried steps. Fred whines when you leave but you pay him no mind. “Been a while, here.”

Grabbing the pack, you stumble back on the bed and sit on your knees.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Fred nods his head. “Put it on, baby.”

You rip the packet open and slowly roll it on him, his cock is already wet and glistening enough for it to be quick. Your center pulses with want as you do this.

Fred pushes you down and crawls on top, centering his cock with your entrance. “No more,” he grunts. “Gotta have you now.”

Gasping, you feel him rub against you. He continues to tease, until the tip of his cock finally pushes past.

You cry out and glance down at where his cock bulges, it’s a type of pain you’d love to feel everyday. “A-ah Fred!”

“I know baby,” he whines, pushing further in with a quick thrust. He strokes slowly to work you open. You cry out, arousal gushing out.

“Such a sweet pussy, taking all my cock so well.” he kisses your jaw, feathering his lips around your throat and lazily sucking. “Feel so good.”

It’s true, it feels so fucking good that you can’t hold in your moans anymore. Not that you were trying to, but the desire to chant his name becomes reality when he rolls his hips against your center. He’s so close to bottoming out and the woozy cloud floating in your head grows. “Oh my god, don’t want you to stop.”

The stretch feels so good that you can’t help but clench around him, pain jerking your hips up.

Fred's balls deep in, his chest heaves and his eyes squeeze shut for a moment. He pauses, letting the two of you adjust to the euphoric feeling of his cock inside. ”Why the fuck would I wan’t to stop?” Your insides are throbbing, and you find yourself arching your back every time he gives you a sweet kiss on your chest. “Why would I ever stop. Shit, baby, I love you.”

“I love you too - oh!”

Fred withdraws, then slams into you with such vigour that you scream. Another shameful flow of your juices gush out as pleasure rips through you. He continues this, another harsh thrust into your cunt that makes you arch in pleasure. “Freddie!”

“Just like that.” he grunts, rolling his hips. “Love when you call me that.”

His hand hooks your leg around his waist, and he speeds up his motion, soothing the needy ache you feel.

lt’s dizzying, how good he can make you feel. Like you’re the center of the universe and all that matters is Fred fucking you open with sweet, yet untetheredly rough thrusts. It’s scary how lost you can get in him, and it becomes haunted when he captures your lips in a kiss and lifts your leg up on his shoulder.

“You’re so tight, oh fucking hell. Look at you, my goodness you’re absolutely perfect.” he murmurs against your lips, muting your moans.

“Fred! Oh god - ah!”

Your cries egg him on, he’s ruthless with the way his fingers dig in your ass to slam into you faster. The angle, his thick cock, how he’s biting down on your lower lip, you can barely take in. You feel helplessly at his mercy, and soon he’s fucking you too hard to keep kissing. “Easy, baby,” he coos when you squirm underneath him. “I’ve got you - my sweet little flower. Feel good?”

The question itself is clearly hysterical, your pleasure is etched on to your face and your thighs quiver underneath him. His mouth hangs open, eyes droopy, yet he still wears that infuriatingly attractive smirk. “Yes! Feel so good - ah you cocky bastar - umpfh!”

He drapes your other leg over his shoulder, your breasts bounce as his thrust turns more languid. Your back arches, mouth hanging open. “Oh my god - Fred!”

It feels so fucking good like this, so deep and good and - fuck, everything else other than him becomes a distant memory.

“Ahh - shit baby. Doing so good,” he grunts, his moans turn more high pitched when you meet his thrusts halfways. “Drown me baby, my flower takes me so well,”

Fred’s hand curls around the mattress as his other grips your thigh. He slams into you, stretching you out so good that your orgasm builds rapidly within. With your legs draped over his shoulder, he bends forward further until he’s sucking in your chest and leaving red marks. “OH - Freddie,” you whine, clawing at his back.

“That’s it my love,” he croons, head thrown back yet still adamant on watching you. His hands tangle in your hair, carding through and gripping them hard. “Come on my cock - make a mess of your sheets. Doing so well for me, wanna feel you clench around me.”

His face contorts in pleasure when your cunt does clench, hair draping over his eyes to cover his glazed, blown out pupils. Fred reaches between your legs to sweetly thumb your clit, squeezing it between two fingers and it’s the final straw until you break.

You arch in pleasure, shuddering violently underneath him. Fred’s letting you ride it out, finally gasping and his hands clench around your thigh and the mattress. Your hand finds his, interlacing your fingers together as you messily grind your hips and finally come down. Ropes of hot cum fill the condom around your sensitive walls. You tighten, aching a little from the warmth that you can’t feel directly from the plastic barrier.

Fred collapses on top with panting breaths. His head rests in the crook of your neck, arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

“Well shit.”

“Yeah.” you chuckle breathily. The post orgasm clarity makes you realize; fuck, I love this man way more than I let on. You suddenly feel the need to show him, and yet you settle for tenderly brushing his hair back when he lifts his head.

Fred smiles, grin lazy and sappy. After pecking your lips, he slowly pulls out. You whine from the sudden coldness when he rolls out of your arms, then he grins at your noise of distress.

“Hold on love, be right back.” Fred pulls off his condom, ties the top and tosses it to the trash before collapsing next to you - way more dramatically. His arm drapes over you, pulling you to his chest and pressing a kiss on your forehead. “I love you.”

You sigh, content. “Love you too,” you smirk. “Would love you more if you cleaned me up.”

Fred’s eyes flash dangerously. “Oh?”

“Not like that you idiot!” you smile, gently slapping his chest. “Swish your wand or something, I don’t wanna get up.”

“Hm,” he taps his chin. “Give me a tour of your apartment and I’ll think about it.”

You sigh, propping yourself on your arms. Fred whines and tries to pull you back in but you don’t relent. “Alright alright.”

Rolling off the bed, you rush to the bathroom, ignoring the pulsing soreness in your core. “Wha - come back! What about my tour?” Fred yells after you.

You laugh at his eagerness. “You’re not getting it!”

After cleaning yourself up, you practically hurl yourself in his arms. Fred catches you with something between a grunt and a chuckle, leaning against the headboard and letting you rest your head on his chest. Your eyes lull around, begging to give into your exhaustion. “Close your eyes, flower,” he whispers sweetly, gently running his hands across your hair and massaging your scalp.

The snowstorm outside has gotten intense, the wind howls against your sealed windows yet the world feels much brighter from this morning. It’s hard to focus on anything besides the way your heart flutters, and the feel of Fred beneath you. Snuggling closer, his fingers gently trace around your shoulders.

“Freddie?” you murmur, cheek pressed against his chest.

He hums in response.

“You’re staying over, right?”

Fred peers down at you, his brows are etched together and the concern on his face nearly makes you sob. “Do…do you not want me to?” he answers shakily.

You let out a breath. “Of course I want you to!”

“Good.” he smiles, letting out a bigger breath than you. For a moment, you think you broke the man. “Because you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

#fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley angst #fred weasley smut #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader #harry potter fic #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley #fred wealsey fic #hp smut #fluff #angst #hp angst #reader insert #george weasley #ginny weasley #hermione granger #harry potter

[downwiththeficness]

A Need So Great-Chapter 9

Summary: Eva Moore is assigned to work the last year of her contract with the DEA in Colombia. She just wants to get to the end of her tenure, but she keeps getting drawn further into a string of murders in the city. It isn’t long before she’s forced to face the ghosts of her past.

Word Count: ~3,300

Warnings: None

A/N: For the purposes of this story, Carrillo isn’t married--or, if you like, divorced. A/B/O dynamics are prevalent, and they come with their own warning. The overall rating for this story is Explicit, although not every chapter will contain adult themes.

Taglist: @dirtynerdy98 @1zashreena1 @heresathreebee @deliciouslyclassytrash @maybege @kid-from-new-zealand @clydesducktape

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8.5, 10, 10.5, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Eva sat in the conference room, trying hard not to fidget.  Javier and Steve were to her left, and there was a projector sitting behind the table.  None of them knew why they were sitting there. None of them knew when the meeting would start. All that they were told was that they were supposed to be sitting in that room by nine am that day. No exceptions.

The air kicked on, filling the room with a dull drone. Eva grabbed her pen and held it in her palm, using her thumb to slide the cap up and down along the length of it. She wanted to get up and take a lap around the room to excise some of the nervous energy she felt.

Javier lit a cigarette, sinking down lower into his chair, looking annoyed, “How long’ve we been sitting here?”

Steve looked at his watch, “About twenty minutes.”

“Fuck me,” Javier groaned, rubbing his eye, “I got about a thousand pages of paperwork that need to get done and we’re sitting here with our thumbs up our asses.”

She had to agree. She’d gotten a little behind with reading through case files. Although she was used to redacted information, she wasn’t used to whole sections of them being completely missing.  As she moved through the most recent information, that was occurring more and more often. She thought she’d gotten the mole over two months ago, but now… there had to be more than one.

The door opened and Vanessa walked in. Eva inhaled deeply, her grip on the pen tightening until she heard the plastic crack. Jaw clenched, she sat up and prepared herself for the inevitable. Unable to help it, she glanced at the two agents she’d worked with so closely, already mourning the friendship they’d started to develop. She wondered if Connie would be calling to cancel their work out tonight.

Blinking, she turned her attention to the woman who signed her paychecks.

“Hello, thank you for waiting. I’m Vanessa Arnold.”

A tall, stately woman, dressed in a crisp suit, Vanessa looked at them with a critical gaze. She addressed each of them in turn, welcoming them to the meeting.  Eva’s eyes narrowed as Vanessa sorted the stack of files in front of her. She knew those files—well worn over the years, and slowly growing.

“I am here,” she announced, her expression business placid, “Because I’ve heard some disturbing information and I would like to give you the opportunity to address it.”

Next to her, Javier stubbed out his cigarette, “What kind of information?”

Vanessa smiled, it was not a nice smile, “It has been reported to the States that you are engaging in some inappropriate behavior.”

Javier and Steve looked at each other, a whole conversation passing between them that Eva wasn’t sure she could decipher.  Steve, who was sitting next to her, put his elbows on the table, resting his head on his hands.  Javier stayed where he was, but she could feel the heat of the glare he leveled at Vanessa.

“Now, we deal with some very serious things, and sometimes that wears us down.”  Standing, Vanessa circled the conference table, hand skimming over the chairs. “Sometimes, that leads us to forget our boundaries and the expectations of the DEA for its agents.”

Eva’s gaze followed Vanessa as she sauntered towards them, pace excruciatingly slow.  She knew where this was going, had attended this meeting at least once in every location she’d been sent to, usually at about the six month mark. And yet, it still hurt. Vanessa knew how to make it hurt.

Javier cleared his throat, “With all due respect, Ms. Arnold, can you get to the point?”

There was that ugly smile again, “Absolutely. I’ve received reports that you and Agent Murphy are participating in social events with Mrs. Moore. Going out to bars, eating lunch together—Agent Murphy, your wife has been attending classes at the gym with Mrs. Moore, has she not?”

Steve’s mouth thinned, “She has. There aren’t many Americans in this country, least of all anyone who might be able to commiserate about life in close quarters with the DEA.”

Vanessa cast him a condescending look, “Still, it doesn’t exactly put you in a positive light, does it?”

Eva could feel the wheels of Steve’s mind turning as he processed what she’d said.  He flicked his fingers out in a sharp motion before curling them into his palms, “I don’t understand. Eva is a contract consultant, paid by the DEA to work with us. How is associating with her outside of work a negative?”

Here we go.

Vanessa stepped back and flicked off the lights, then moved to the projector and turned it on, “Mrs. Moore is generally reticent to talk about it, but I feel its important for you to know who you are working with.”

The projector clicked and Eva’s mug shot flashed onto the wall opposite the group. She closed her eyes, working to control her breathing.  She’d been released into police custody right out of the hospital. Her arm was still in a cast, her face heavily swollen and bruised. The picture was not flattering.

“Mrs. Moore was charged and convicted of the murder of her husband a few years prior to coming to work for us.”

Another click. Her husband’s picture, his professional photo, came up. Josh was impeccably groomed, smile wide and white, eyes clear and sparkling. She bit the inside of her cheek, stunned that she could still feel such hatred towards a person no longer living.

“This is Joshua Moore. A prominent doctor and businessman out of Louisiana. His practice was located just outside of New Orleans.  He was most well known for donating large amounts to charities across the state.”

For the tax write off. And, to get the votes of the city councils.

Click. Their wedding picture. Eva felt bile rise in her throat. Fourteen years old, looking like a baby next to a twenty five year old who’d just started working for the local hospital. Her mother had picked out her dress—a frilly, lace encrusted thing that was a touch too long.  She remembered how much her feet hurt from walking in the heels she needed to wear to keep the thing from dragging too much down the aisle.  Standing at the altar had been excruciating enough that she’d stumbled over her vows.

“By all accounts, Mrs. Moore and her husband had a passionate relationship.”

Passionate is one way to put it.

In the beginning, she’d fought him when she thought he was being unfair. He’d scream, punch doors, throw things, eventually things devolved into physical beatings.  It only took about a year for her to stop fighting and just do what he wanted. It was easier that way. Soon enough, he figured out how good she was at hiding things—money, product, herself—and he let her in on the family business.

Click. Their blood covered carpet with his outline marked in tape.

“One night, things got out of hand. Mr. Moore unfortunately lost his life at the hands of his wife.”

God, could she be a little less dramatic? Her voice had lowered down to a soft, sweet sound that grated on every nerve Eva had.  She felt her mouth lift in a sneer before she could check the motion. Sniffing, she relaxed the muscles of her face, looking forward at the picture dispassionately.

Click. The trail of blood leading from the living room out the back door.

“When police arrived on the scene, Mr. Moore was found in the back yard, on fire.  Autopsy reports state that he was set aflame post mortem. His cause of death was confirmed as blunt force trauma to the skull.”

Click. Her husband’s dead body, skin black and burned down to bone, laying atop a cart. Click. A close up of his face, half the skull missing. In bottom right corner, there was a little ‘R’ marked in what looked to be black permanent marker. This was the only new aspect of the photos.  Every location. Every six months. Every photo. She’d seen them over and over and had them memorized. It didn’t seem possible that this little song and dance could still make her angry, but it did.  She was tired of paying for a justifiable action she’d taken to save her own life.

Vanessa left the last photo up, moving to stand before them, one hand slipping into the pocket of her slacks.  Eva kept her gaze steady, ready to take what would come next, the words that she’d heard for many years.

“Gentleman, you’re sitting next to a cold blooded murder, a person who took a life that was privileged and beat it to death with a fire extinguisher. Think about what kind of person could do that to someone they loved. This about who she would have to be to drag a dead body out of her house and set it on fire. Think about how associating with that kind of person reflects on you and your careers.”

The silence that followed was familiar and tense. Both men looking at Vanessa—Javier gently tapping his forefinger on the table, Steve with his head on his hands.

Vanessa’s eyes narrowed, but she kept smiling, “I’m going to let you keep thinking on that. Thank you for coming in. Have a nice day.”

And then she as striding out, her heels clicking on the tile. Eva watched her go, the door closing gently behind her. Eva just caught the face of that department head she’d nearly forgotten about as he approached Vanessa in the hall. She let the sneer form on her mouth, knowing that the rumor mill would start almost immediately.

The air in the room felt oppressive, the darkness only adding more pressure.  Eva pushed a breath through her nose, scratching at the skin above her eyebrow as she tried to think of something to say.

Javier spoke for her, “What a load of bullshit.”

She couldn’t help it. She laughed. It was, indeed, a load of bullshit. She’d never had someone put it so succinctly so quickly following the presentation.

Steve leaned back in his seat, smashing the power button on the projector. It turned off with the groaning hiss of an air fan, leaving the room completely dark. Eva took the opportunity to swallow back the old feelings that had been drudged up in the last ten minutes.  Ten minutes. That’s all it took for her to feel like shit again. She fucking hated Vanessa.

Javier stood up and flicked on the lights, returning to his seat and sitting heavily. He pulled his cigarettes from his pocket and lit one, offering the pack to Steve, who took it. Eva folded her hands over her chest and waited for someone to speak.

Steve tapped off ash into a faceted glass tray, “So that’s why you told us about it early on.”

“That’s why I told you about it early on,” Eva confirmed with a nod.

Javier blew out a lungful of smoke, “She do this often?”

“Yeah.”

“How often?”

“Every time, with every team.”

He nodded, leaning his forearms on the table, “You notice she left your files.”

“Yep,” Eva bit out.

It was a perfect strategy. If she hadn’t been up front about her husband, it would be impossible for anyone to ignore the fact that the whole story, in black and white, was sitting right there.

Steve reached out and placed his hand next to her on the tabletop, “You want us to read through it.”

She shrugged, “You can, if you want. Its a nicely worded story. Not too flattering to me, of course.”

They looked at each other for a few seconds, another private conversation passing between them. She kept her expression neutral, not wanting to sway them one way or another.

Steve threw the butt of his cigarette into the tray, “Connie and I are having a pool party next weekend.  You want to come? Carrillo, too.”

Eva felt her jaw drop, didn’t bother to conceal her shock, “You want me to come to a party.”

“Yeah,” he said, his mouth curling into a smile, “Maybe you can convince Javi, here, to put on a swim suit.”

“I wear swim trunks,” Javier cut in with mock anger.

Steve rolled his eyes, “Only because Connie won’t let you come if you’re not wearing appropriate attire.” Then, to Eva, “You got a suit?”

She nodded, “I do.”

“Good, bring a bottle of booze, and you’re set.”

Eva sat there, staring at him, her mouth open. It was one thing for her to tell them what she’d done. It was another thing to come face to face with pictures of her husband’s mutilated body and react with, what? Nonchalance?

Steve leaned towards her, “Connie wouldn’t be alive if you hadn’t gotten her out of that restaurant.  I don’t give a shit what you did to that guy.  What you did, here? That’s what counts.”

She looked between them. Javier wasn’t talking, but he nodded as Steve spoke, offering silent support. Eva felt her chest constrict with a soft affection for them both. The relief was a physical thing, exhaling with her next breath.

“Thank you.”

Steve shrugged, “Don’t mention it. Vodka—bring a bottle. Wear your suit.”

As it turned out, Connie did not cancel their work out that night. She met Eva outside the gym at their regular time, looking at her like a friend. Eva had to cough into her hand to hide the surprised little shriek that wanted to burst out of her when the woman came into view.

They spent the hour sweating and huffing through a one challenging set after another, the sound of the instructor’s voice coaching them through the movements. Afterwards, Eva slumped on the bench, tossing back water and toweling off her face.

“That was fun,” Connie commented from her spot next to her.

Eva sent her a sidelong glance, “Fun is not the word I would use.”

Fun was sitting at a bar, drinking and hollering at the band. Fun was watching a ball game or shopping for new clothes. What they had just done was hard work—muscle burning, lung searing, skin sizzling hard work. Still, Eva enjoyed it, needed the release of endorphins.

“You know, one of the things I look forward to when I get back to the states is flaunting my newly hot body when I see those skinny bitches at my high school reunion.”

Eva laughed, “You’ll be the talk of the party—look at those biceps.”

Connie flexed, smiling wide, “Gotta get me one of those strapless, backless dresses, just to show off.”

“Oh, Steve’ll love that.”

“He would,” Connie said with a coy little tilt of her shoulders. “He tell you about the party?”

Eva nodded, “Yeah, I’ve been tasked with bringing a bottle of vodka.”

“And wearing a suit,” Connie asserted, pointing at Eva.

“I have one, don’t worry.”

“I want everyone dressed for the occasion, no office wear allowed.”

“Ah, damn, I’ll have to leave my pencil skirt at home.”

Connie rolled her eyes, “I’m so glad I get to wear scrubs. My feet still hurt at the end of the day, but at least its not from wearing heels.”

Eva took another long swig, “Yeah, but you do have to be one your feet all day. At least I get to sit down.”

“Pros and cons.”

Eva nodded, “Agreed. Pros and cons.”

“So, are you ever going to tell me what’s going on with you and Carrillo? Steve says you’ve been seeing him.”

Eva set down the water bottle. She’d been wondering, herself, when Connie was going to bring it up. Despite their weekly gym excursions, she hadn’t pushed. Eva was grateful—she didn’t really know how she’d characterize her relationship with the man. They weren’t...like, boyfriend and girlfriend. At least, not how she’d known the concept back before she’d been married. Companions, maybe. Friends, definitely. Friends who slept together. Friends with benefits? That felt too trivializing.

“We’ve gone out a few times,” Eva edged, standing and motioning for Connie to follow.

They walked towards the bathrooms, the humidity spiking from the showers as they passed through the doors.

“And?”

Eva opened her locker and pulled out her gym back, rustling around for her change of clothes, “And...I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

Sighing, Eva stood up and looked at Connie, “I don’t. Not really. I’m only on assignment here for another six months or so. I like him. I like spending time with him. I don’t know where I am from there.”

Connie fixed her with a level look, “You don’t want to get into anything serious because you think you’re leaving in six months.”

Eva thought about it,“Yes.”

“But, you like him enough that you’re willing to go out with him even though it might end sooner rather than later.”

Eva thought again, “Yes.”

She gave a little bob of her head, “That’s fair. Steve says he’s pretty intense.”

Eva didn’t have to think about that one, “Yes.”

“Is that all you’re going to say?”

Eva’s face scrunched, “You want me to say more?”

“Yes, for God’s sake!” Connie burst out, her hands flying in the air, “I want details.”

Eva laughed, “Let me get cleaned up and then we can talk details.”

Connie’s eyes narrowed, “Don’t think I’m going to forget. We’re going to the bar and you’re going to tell me everything.”

They did, indeed, go to the bar, although Eva didn’t really tell Connie everything.  She talked about their dates, how he’d been polite and conscientious, how she felt when they kissed, and that she hadn’t yet spent the night at his place but she wanted to.

“You know, when I met him, I thought he was terrifying,” Connie commented as she sipped a gin and tonic.

Eva lifted a brow, “Why?”

Thinking for a moment, Connie settled on, “He was just so serious. Like, really, really serious.”

Eva could get that. The man could write a book on taking things seriously. Serious was in his blood. But, she’d seen him soft and sweet, too. She’d seen his dimples as he smiled. Seen his laugh. There was more to him than he showed to the world, more than a hard, scary man. It made her warm inside to think that she got to see that side of him.

“Shame that you don’t think it’ll last,” Connie said, a leading tone in her voice.

Eva brought her beer to her lips, “I have to go home sometime.”

“Where is home, exactly?”

The question caught Eva off guard. She realized that she didn’t exactly know. For a long time, Louisiana was home, and then Texas, and then a host of assignments. Now, it was Colombia. She’d been traveling for so long that she couldn’t root herself down anywhere. She didn’t even know if she wanted to. Her contract end date had been so far away for so long that Eva had never taken the time to work out what she would do afterward. Her record would be cleared, she would no longer be a felon. She would have years of work experience and a tidy little savings.

The possibilities were so numerous that Eva found herself unable to really settle on any one thing that she wanted—except, that wasn’t exactly true. Her heart, down deep, wanted what she might actually be able to have. A too serious, dimple-cheeked man who smelled like tobacco and vetiver.

Connie was looking at her, waiting for her answer. Eva just shrugged and ordered another round of drinks.

#narcos #horacio carrillo #carrillo #A Need So Great

[nicolinocolino]

s4 thoughts

Okay so I’ve only watched the season once through and I’m sure I missed some stuff, but here’s my reaction for anyone who cares haha.

I’m going to start with Sana, obviously. Brilliant. Show stopping. Memorable. I never felt like the season was about anyone else, even with the side plots. I think this has a lot to do with the friendships, which skamit does really well. But this season was truly about her. And Bea did fantastic. 

I think the switch to make the Malik drama about Eva worked much better, as Eva is someone who’s kind of... swung from one guy to another and back. It just makes sense. I also loved how they toned down the drama and got rid of the cyber bullying all together. 

Sana’s voicemail on the roof explained it all... and it was so heartbreaking. Honestly, I could relate. I think that’s another big testament to the season — she’s relatable because she’s, you know, a person with feelings and expectations who doesn’t always make the right choices. I never felt like I wasn’t allowed to relate to her just because we come from different backgrounds. And isn’t that the point? Isn’t that the point of it all — to humanize her and not put her on a pedestal or be afraid of her? She hurt her friends who hurt her, and she let it all out. Sometimes we need that honesty to become closer to one another, and, in turn, understand each other better.

My favorite clip was the one of her and Malik talking about religion. The music? Her metaphor to the moon? God, she shone in this clip. I’m not a religious person, but I could feel the passion in her. I think it’s healthy to be challenged sometimes, too. I don’t think Malik saying that you can be a good person without religion is something I will forget.

Overall, her story was so good that I don’t really mind the other parts I was disappointed in. It was a fantastic final season. The music and editing and quality was incredible. She was the true star.

Okay, Marti and Nico. Because you know I love them a lot. And I’m sorry if I have more to say about them than Sana. I know it’s her season. But obviously Marti and Nico are my favorite and ALSO there’s just..... a lot to process regarding what we did get from them. I’m not the kind of person who can look at canon and be like, “I don’t like that so I’m going to forget it!” — no. I see it happen and my brain goes “make it make sense.” Which is what I’ve been trying to do because I really don’t want these two ruined for me. So:

First of all, I’m so, so thrilled that Nico’s “half a thing” long ago with Luai was the real deal. It had nothing to do with his mental illness and added depth to his back story that comes from a place of love and understanding. I cannot even imagine the guilt he must have felt at Virgilio after watching Luai get sent away. It must have been difficult to talk about, so keeping it from Marti (for so long!) is something I can kind of understand.

Which brings me to Marti’s reaction. I have mixed feelings. I definitely do understand Marti, in a way. When you piece together what he knew from Maddalena, that look between them he witnessed, Nico’s obvious lies... yeah. Maybe I’d go a bit out of my mind, too. Essentially, I can see this starting in ep 2 and building to ep7. That’s FIVE WEEKS of hardship on their relationship. FIVE WEEKS of Nico hiding the truth and Marti going insane pestering him. FIVE WEEKS of patience before Marti finally snapped. My big thing is I think Marti has gobs and gobs of patience. Without that real time format, it looks like he has none. But really? It was almost two whole months of... guessing and asking and getting nothing. Of course he was paranoid! Of course he was jealous! His patience, which I believe he had, wore thin. While I think some of what Marti did was out of character, some of it I can see. He gets angry, we’ve seen that. He withdraws, we’ve seen that too. Not saying this is the healthiest thing ever, but if you REALLY loved someone... you probably would be at least a little jealous. We villainize the feeling of jealousy so much — and it’s true that it’s not healthy in this amount — but it happens. And it happened to Marti. My big hangup is that I don’t really think that’s very in character for him, but in a way... I can see it. I think we can argue that what he did to Gio and Eva in season 1 was the result of some jealousy. Love makes you do all kinds of crazy things and feel all kinds of crazy ways. I half think that Marti “left” as a sort of final straw/ultimatum. Like, ‘ah, if I leave him maybe then he will tell me, since there is nothing left to lose.’ But then Nico didn’t, so he was left with that choice. I don’t think he really meant it, at least not for the long haul. If Nico were to text him the next day and say ‘yeah, you’re right, this is for the best’ Marti would be a giant mess. I can clearly see this was a situation of “well, I think he’s going to leave me for Luai, so maybe if I leave him first I can control the pain.” We literally see him reverting back to his old self in eps 7 and 8. He closes off. He doesn’t want to listen to his friends. At Silvia’s birthday, he was honestly being so loud and jokey and obnoxious. I truly think that was a mask. His “I have nothing to say to him” (referring to Nico) REALLY really got to me. That was not in character. But in hindsight, as I try to make sense of it, I think he said it because he wanted his friends to disagree with him. It’s more of a “I have nothing more to add” because, well, he tried. He tried for five weeks to get Nico to tell him the truth. He was left with his embarrassing mistake of leaving Nico, which he knew was wrong, and is embarrassed even more because everyone else knows it was wrong too. Somehow he has to crawl out of the hole that is his own stubbornness and pride. And in this super public space, he wanted everyone to think he was fine. But we know he’s not. We know he had a cliche low point eating ice cream on the floor. We know he’s hurting. In his mind, Nico possibly cheated and lied and might leave him and that hurts him. Because he loves him.

Which brings me to my next point. Marti you dumbass if you opened your eyes you could SEE how much Nico loves you. Everything from wanting to get coffee in the morning with him, wanting to pick him up from school, wanting to dance with him, wanting to help throw him a nice birthday, just the way Nico LOOKS at him... boy he LOVES you. And I bet that hurt Nico a lot to think Marti didn’t feel any of that. Nico shows his love, it pours out of him.

But also: Nico, my boy, why take so long to tell Marti the truth. If there’s nothing to hide, why does it matter that you had half a thing with some guy two years ago? I think what happened was that they didn’t have proper closure. Luai was essentially ripped away from Nico, horribly, in the middle of their half a thing. Did Nico even know that he was okay? And... the guilt? Oh my. I can only imagine Nico wanted to reconnect with him just to get that closure, and, in the process, because he never told Marti, it looked a lot like maybe something else was going on. Not only the night of the fight, but maybe after that there were some texts or phone calls, too. And then how do you tell your boyfriend that you want closure with your ex? How do you explain what you had, which never had a proper ending and, who knows, maybe would have grown or still have been going on if things were better and Luai never left? I think Marti could piece that together, too. He knows Nico learned the Koran for Luai. He remembers the talk in Nel Mio Letto. He knows how deeply Nico can feel. And, he knows that Nico’s feelings are real. Or, were real. And maybe had the possibility of becoming real again now that Luai was around again. 

The excuse that Nico didn’t tell Marti because Luai was engaged and wanted to keep it on the down-low doesn’t fly with me. Maybe it’s partly true, but I also think what I stated above was more of the cause. Nico didn’t know how to explain to Marti without sounding suspicious but needed closure. He tried to do both at the same time and failed. Because, duh. You have to be honest and hiding isn’t right and doesn’t work. I think it would hurt Marti to know Nico doesn’t trust him enough with that secret. So, in sum, they both need to trust each other more.

I was really excited for Nico’s clip and was left feeling kind of empty afterwards. I don’t like how Marti basically interrogated him. I think that if Marti wants that level of honesty with Nico, that’s valid. But there’s a fine line between that and pestering someone about phone calls. Which is what makes me think the thing with Luai was more than just the night of the fight. I think Nico was hiding a little more than a past. He was hiding his reconnecting to get closure. I mean, in the end, it’s a nice clip. The beach is beautiful and their kiss was cute and smiley. And that hug is god tier. I liked how we saw Nico’s meds in a short and respectful way even if just to give the audience some peace of mind. Maybe Marti only used his birthday as an excuse to be so nosy. I do think he was hurt by the lies — and Marti knows that lies can ruin things, he’s seen it happen — so he’s just on guard. I mean, I don’t think Nico’s lie was HUGE... it’s just the fact that it went on for so long even after Marti tried to tell Nico he wanted the full truth. So, even if I didn’t love the clip and am disappointed a bit in it, in the end it really just shows that they can and will work through everything.

So, like, did I want all of that drama? No. Is it realistic? I think so. I romanticize these two so much so it brought me down to earth a bit. Did I already KNOW they would be able to work through hard times? Well, yeah. I didn’t need to see it but in the end I’m glad I did. I truly believe they will face future hard times with the knowledge, now, that they need to do better. And honestly? I think Marti is 18 now and Nico is like 20? 21? And to be tested with something like this and work through it the way they did so young is a lot. Also, they’ve been together for over a year now. It takes about a year for that honeymoon phase to wear off. So in reality they are working through that right now too. Love is something they have to dedicate more time and effort to, and they did! They did do that and it’s nice to see that they’re willing to nurture this very very special thing they have instead of letting it fall away. And they made it out on the other side with, I think, more love and understanding for each other. I certainly love and understand them better now, too.

I might add on with more thoughts later, but this is what I have for now. Most of it is about Marti and Nico but, ya know. I love them dearly. Also, Sana’s stuff was just so good there’s really not much for me to work through with it. If you read this all, you’re a trooper lol

#skam italia #skam italia spoilers #skam italia s4 #i added a read more i hope it works but in case not: #long post #bee if you read this thank you for talking me off a ledge these past two days youll notice a lot of my thoughts are thanks to you

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me (Chapter 20)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Chapter 10 , Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15 , Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19

She Said

The spectacle of an entirely speechless Keanu was one to behold when he unwrapped the test. I’d been bursting with the news since the morning before when I got the result so it had been an endurance test for me not to have anyone to share it with for over 24 hours. I knew there were long months ahead to get through but it was lovely to share the joy of this moment with him and go to sleep secure in his arms after almost a month apart.

My mind since finding out had been racing, projecting forwards to how far along I’d be by key dates like the summer holidays, Keanu finishing John Wick 4 filming, the Matrix 4 Premiere …… and I was worried about the immediate future too.  I hadn’t been especially sick with either of my previous pregnancies but I had been incredibly tired. With Eva, I was doing modelling contracts but not every day so, on days off, I remember just sleeping for ages. Obviously with Miguel, I had a toddler to care for so I couldn’t nap unless she did but I sure took advantage of that time whenever I could. I was also worried about the home schooling which was really full on. How was I going to soldier on through that? And by the time Keanu would be home again, I reckoned I’d already be nearly 20 weeks along. I suppose he would at least be there as the strain on my body got greater.

I also told myself not to get ahead of myself. It was such early days and whilst I’d not suffered a miscarriage myself, I had plenty of friends who had in these early stages. And the spectre of stillbirth was also there because of Keanu’s own experience. Until this baby was here, I was sure neither of us would rest easy.  I didn’t really want to share the news with the kids until the pregnancy was better established. I was pretty sure they’d be pleased but they might worry about the new baby somehow taking priority and if the worst happened, I didn’t want to have to explain about how not all babies make it to full term to an 9 and 7 year old. But I also knew friends who had kept their pregnancies secret, suffered a miscarriage and then felt they couldn’t share the pain of the loss afterwards so maybe openness was the best option with our close friends and family and maybe even the kids. I’d have to add this decision to my list of things to talk about with Keanu.

 He Said

When I woke up the next morning,  my first reaction was to pull the human hot water bottle in front of me into my chest, relishing being together again. And then I remembered. She wasn’t just my partner anymore but also the mother to be of my child.

A big smile spread over my face at this thought. Then worry creased my brow.

Sophia had said she reckoned she was around 8 weeks along - that left 32 roughly for anxiety and things to go wrong!

She’d managed to book a scan for before my return to New York so we’d hopefully get to see the baby, tiny dot that it would be, and get the dates confirmed.

She actually reckoned it was that amazing day in NY that we’d conceived. The dates were right and she remembered someone telling her years ago that your chances were better if the woman also climaxed when the man did as this had the effect of sucking up the sperm further with the contractions in the vagina. Who knows if there’s any truth in that but I certainly remembered the powerful sensation of being sucked into her very well!

32 weeks. Man that seemed like forever. And the dates were a little freaky too. If you calculated by her dates, then the baby was due on New Year’s Day 2021. Ava had been due in early January and was born sleeping on Christmas Eve 1999. Jen and I had conceived after being careless after a Matrix Premiere party. At least this time, there was nothing accidental about this baby and no nagging doubts about the relationship.

We’d have to tell Cheryl in case anything got leaked and then there were the kids and our families to consider. I was cautious but also remembered my therapist’s advice - the one I’d seen in my 40s after years of suppressing the processing of my trauma after Ava & Jen’s deaths. She had tried to get me to accept that worrying about things on your own was never healthy and that being hopeful that good things will come doesn’t jinx things and nor does preparing for bad things to happen stave them off magically. I rationalised that all we could do was take care, have regular check ups and try to enjoy the journey.

I know Sophia was probably more anxious than her first pregnancies, in part due to her age but also due to what had happened to me and Jen. I decided to suggest we hire some help with the home-schooling to ease the daily stresses of her life in the coming months.

And all these thoughts had gone through my mind before Sophia even woke up!

Eventually I felt her stir and she turned in my arms to give me a sleepy morning kiss

“Morning handsome”

“Morning beautiful mama”

She smiled

“Oh you’re not gonna be one of those men who reduces their partner to a mere vessel for their child are you?”

That made me chuckle.

“Naaah, but you’ll let me be a little bit excited right?”  I placed my hand on her belly  again.

“ Right” she said and leaned in to given me a gentle kiss which quickly deepened into something more heated. Then she pulled away and looked over at the clock.

“We don’t have time lover boy”

I groaned, but knew she was right, - it was already 5 to 7

“Hey get used to it! And Don’t worry we have tomorrow to ourselves”

I gave her a quick squeeze and just then Eva and Miguel burst into the room.

“Keanuuu” was their first cry and so the day began!

 She Said

On Keanu’s first day back, it was a school day so he got to witness  the transformation of my dining room into a mini classroom with each kid stationed in front of a laptop with headphones in on an off for a morning with exercises to do in-between. Luckily, although there were 5 kids, they were only spread across 2 year groups so 3 (9 year olds) had one set of exercises and 2 (the 7 year olds) had another. He helped out by listening in to the 7 year old’s lesson while I supported Eva’s year group with theirs. Miguel delighted in bragging that Duke Caboom was helping him with his addition, making Keanu give the teacher a little wave on the zoom screen.

After lunch together, Keanu sent me off for a nap and sat down to read them all  some chapters of the Roald Dhal story we had started and then and got them all playing quiet games like hangman and battleships for a while. When I came in,  they had just started watching “Up”. I tried to suggest an alternative but it was too late and they were all set on it. I mean, I love that movie but I had a feeling Keanu wouldn’t have seen it before and he wouldn’t be expecting one of the early moments. I was proved right when he made a rapid exit to the kitchen when that scene played out and I followed him to make sure he was alright.

He was leaning over the sink, trying to pull himself together and I slipped my arms around him, whispering.

“It will be OK darling, we’ll take all the care in the world to keep this baby safe and well, I promise! We just have to take it one day at a time”

He turned then and held me close and didn’t speak for a few more minutes, stifling a couple of sobs against my shoulder. When he’d got himself a bit more together, he  pulled back and looked at me, eyes a little red from crying.  He let about a shaky breath before speaking.

“Sorry - that just took me by surprise and, it was, it was like all my worries in the few hours since finding out were playing out on the screen and it was “ he shook his head. “It’s just a bit  overwhelming how much I want this baby with you and how horrifying the prospect of losing them is”

“I know sweetheart, me too, me too and I tried to get them to pick another movie but they were already set on it!”

“Yeah, I’d heard good things but I didn’t know the detail.”

“It’s wonderful, you should see it through for the pay off!”

 He Said

That evening as we were both slumped on the sofa, exhausted from the 5 kid day, I told Sophia my thought about getting her some support with the home-schooling. I thought she might be all “superwoman” about it but she admitted to finding it gruelling even today with my support and a little nap.

“I just can’t describe how energy sapping it is being pregnant. It’s not like I’m doing anything out of the ordinary but “

 “Hold it hold it, you’re growing a human being, don’t call it nothing out of the ordinary!”

“You know what I mean! And women have been doing this for thousands of years at the same time as tilling the land or working in a factory. Getting help does seem a bit ridiculous but at the same time, I so want it! What do you think the others will think?”

“What Julie and Miranda?”

“Yeah. I mean are they going to feel I’m cheating or something!”

“Not if you explain why ......”

“Yeah, about that. How do you feel about telling people?”

“Weeeell” I rubbed my chin thinking it over. “There are pros and cons right? I’m probably pro on balance because I think being open is probably better mental health wise. I don’t know about the kids. I mean it would be hard if you told them and ....

“And something went wrong ..... like in ‘Up’?”

“Yeah like in ‘Up’.” I squeezed her hand remembering earlier.

“I mean, actually maybe ‘Up’ is the answer. They’ve watched it before and I think we had a little chat about that scene the first time around so ....”

“Ok, so let’s go for it”

“Ok, Tomorrow if the scan is ok, deal?”

The next day, we drove together to the hospital but I dropped Sophia off first just so we wouldn’t be making an entrance together. We were also both masked up and I wore a beanie so hopefully we’d escaped any opportunist paps.

The wait was brief in the obgyn waiting area thankfully and we went in having a brief chat first to confirm when Sophia’s last period was etc before she was asked to lie down for the scan.

I  gripped her hand - I don’t know which of us was more nervous!

The screen showed a cone shape black area which was the uterus as revealed by the ultrasound waves and then there was a tiny circle which flashed in and out of view  - the doctor explained that was the heartbeat.

We each had tears of joy rolling down our faces.

The doctor left for a few minutes while Sophia wiped away the jelly and got dressed again.  I pulled her up for a kiss, still choked up.

“Thank you”

“No Thank you!” was her reply.

 She Said

After the relief of the scan, we made the next appointment for the end of the first trimester which Keanu was aiming to fly back for. Then we headed home, with me meeting Keanu in the car park rather than walking out together, again hoping to avoid any stalking paps. We picked up some lunch from a deli and headed back home. After our meal, Keanu sent me to take a nap – he had some e mails to catch up on regarding the upcoming shoot schedule and he could see that the visit had taken it out of me. I snoozed for a couple of hours, waking to find Keanu had joined me and was spooning me with his arm slung around me, hand on my belly again. I didn’t mind him being possessive of it!

I stretched and slowly turned round to see if he was sleeping too but he quickly opened his eyes.

“Hey, is that better?”

“uh huh – I needed that thanks”

“How long do we have before we have to fetch the kids?”

“What time is it?”

“Nearly 3”

“OK, well we have an hour and a half”

“time to show you how much I’ve missed you he said in a low voice, while softly stroking my breasts through my t-shirt, that OK?”

“mmmm more than OK”

We had slow, gentle sex and I delighted in the fact that we could vary from the intense, the jokey, gentle or wild when it came to sex, whatever felt right and this soft focus version was just what I needed right then, being in the unenergetic pregnant state that I was with tender breasts and erratic emotions.

Over at Julie’s we left the kids to play in the garden for a while and we embarked on telling her our news and the plan to get a tutor to help me with home-schooling on my days. Luckily she was both delighted at our news and happy with the tutor plan. I promised to keep her and Miranda involved with the process and then we headed home with the kids being the next ones to receive the news once we’d eaten dinner.

 He Said

As dinner plates were cleared away, we told the kids to stay put as we had some news.  Sophia was the one to tell them that she was going to have a baby so they would hopefully have a baby brother or sister in the New Year.

Eva was attuned to the language and quickly asked

“Why only hopefully?”

“Well, right now I’m pregnant, you know that word right? And the baby is very, very small, just developing and growing. And sometimes babies don’t develop right and so there isn’t a baby in the end.  Do you remember that happened to Ellie and Carl in “Up”? Hopefully everything will be just fine and the doctors and Keanu will be looking after me really well but I can’t promise you, OK?

“But I don’t want you to be sad like Carl and Ellie” Eva’s eyes had already filled with tears.

“Me either” Miguel whined.

I could see Sophia’s lip quavering too and swung into action, standing up and lifting first Miguel and then Eva to stand on their chairs which I pulled near to me.

“Come on Sophia, over here for a group hug.”

So we all stood together and hugged them close while I repeated what Sophia had said.

“We all want this little baby to come, I know and like Mom said, I am going to look after her and the doctors and you two too and everything should be absolutely fine, OK so try not to worry and just be super helpers to your Mom while she has all this work to do, looking after you two OK?”

They both solemnly nodded.

“Can we have a brother?” Miguel asked excitedly?

“Now that I definitely can’t guarantee!” I said laughing. You don’t get to choose if it’s a boy or a girl”

“What do you want?”

“It doesn’t matter to me one little bit – just a healthy brother or sister for you two.

The mood had lifted at last though I could tell it had been hard on Sophia.

 She Said

 After the kids had gone to bed, the tears I’d had to hold in when we were telling them about the baby flooded out.

“Tough huh?” Keanu said after I’d stopped crying and dried my eyes.

“You know it was less about the baby and more just their loss of innocence. It  reminded me of how I felt when my parents told me they were getting a divorce.  I guess it’s the moment when you realise life isn’t all candy bars and unicorns!”

“Yeah I know but look how strong and resilient you are now -  it was  tough but it will help them in the long run. A dose of reality isn’t necessarily a bad thing”

“Yeah but the look on Eva’s face broke my heart a little bit!”

“I know, but what a lovely, loving little girl - what she said about not wanting you to be sad like Carl and Ellie …..”

“Stop it, you’ll make me cry again!”

“Well that’s not hard!”

“Shudup you, you!”

“What?”

“You gorgeous lovely man, I guess!”

@fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithk’eanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles @bitchyslut99

#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu #keanu reeves #romance with boss

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Toni//Old Friends, New Love

Request: Can I request a Toni/reader where when she transfers to Riverdale, you stand up for her and the serpents, it turns out you grew up on the southside but moved before high school, maybe she remembers hanging out with you?

The doors to Riverdale High swung open, and you stuck your head further into your locker. Students from the Southside were transferring today and there were rumours going round that they were from the Serpents. A gang you were all too familiar with. 

The sound of their boots was the only thing to be heard in the corridor, well apart from the quiet mumblings from around you. You could almost feel the stares of the new students as they walked down the corridor, stopping in front of the desk Veronica had set up. In your opinion, it was the worst thing she could have done. Serpents hated the Northside, and that was the most northsierish thing you had ever seen. 

“Friends!” Veronica greeted happily. “On behalf of the students and faculty here at Riverdale High, welcome to your new school.”

While Veronica was talking you decided to sneak a peak at the new students. Jughead was obviously leading them, the usual brooding look on his face, either side of him were two boys that looked annoyed, one of them significantly taller than the other, and the rest of the students to be honest. And then there she was. Toni Topaz. You and Toni had been best friends for a small part of your life. When your mom’s company had been struggling you had to move to the Southside for a short period of time, meaning you lived in the trailer park, a few doors down from her. She looked the same as she did all those years ago, but that may have been because she hadn’t grew much. She was more beautiful now, with long hair that had bits of pink in them, you remembered when you used to braid it, at one of the many sleepovers you would have. However that all ended when your mom’s company started to pick up again and you could afford to move back to the Northside. After that, you never saw her. Being a Northsider again meant you were unwelcome on the Southside, especially if you’d lived there and then moved back.  

“To ease this transitions, I’ve set up a registration desk, where you can get your locker assignments, schedules and a list of sports and extracurriculars.” Veronica explained, and every single serpent rolled their eyes at almost the exact same time. Yep, you knew they wouldn’t like this. You may have only spent a brief amount of time with some of them (really only Toni) but you knew what they liked and what they didn’t. “We encourage each and every one of you to drink deeply from the cup that is fair Riverdale.” She added making you snort with laughter. Veronica, Archie, Kevin and the Serpents all looked in your direction and your eyes widened before you quickly averted your attention back to your locker. Hopefully the door was covering your face enough. 

“Stand down, Eva Peron!” Cheryl shouted from the top of the stairs and everyone’s attention turned to her. Her, followed quickly by Reggie Mantle and a small army of River Vixens walked down the stairs and your sighed. You looked back towards the Serpents who were all looking at her, annoyed expressions on their faces. Basically, they looked like they were gonna fight somebody at any minute, and they’d only been here for 2 minutes. 

“There’s the school spirit I so fondly remember.” Jughead said sarcastically.  

“Cheryl, no one invited Fascist Barbie to the party.” Veronica commented. You decided that people were distracted enough for you to stop hiding in your locker so you could watch what was going to happen properly. 

“Wrong Veronica.” Cheryl crossed her arms. “No one invited Southside scum to our school.” 

I’m sorry what did she say? You thought, raising your eyebrows. 

“Listen up, ragamuffins.” She said loudly, the serpents attention moved from Veronica to Cheryl and they were certainly gonna fight someone, but then again, maybe so were you. Toni and the serpents had taught you a few things when you lived at the trailer park, and one of those was how to punch somebody, hard. “I will not allow Riverdale’s above high GPA to suffer because of classrooms overcrowded with underachiever. So please, do us all a favour and find some other school to debase with your hardscrabble ways.” 

“Cheryl.” You walked towards her, making her turn her attention to you and raise an eyebrow. Okay, what are you doing? You’re drawing attention to yourself. Why are you continuing to walk towards her? “Please, for the love of everyone here and their will power, shut the fuck up with your nonsense talk. You sound like a 70 year old woman stuck in a teenagers body and it isn’t a good look. You also have the views of a 70 year old woman. Why don’t you go find someone else to piss of with your backwards views because like it or not, Serpents are here to stay. And I for one, think Riverdale High will be better with a bit of diversity around here. They may not be rich like you, but they are far better people, and we all know, the majority of people’s GPA results are only high because they either cheated, or their parents paid off the teachers. Now, which one are you?” You finished, complete silence fell over the corridor, students were staring at you wide-eyed and open mouthed. The Serpents were smirking, looking impressed, and Cheryl looked like she was going to murder you. But by God did it feel good to stand up for them, even if she was going to make your life a living hell. You felt like you owed the Serpents. 

“Excuse me?” Cheryl asked. Oh boy. “Who the hell asked you Y/l/n? Why did you decide to crawl out from your little shell? Are you one of them, or are you sleeping with one of them? That would make sense, seeing as though no sane person would ever want to be friends with you let alone date you.” 

“Don’t talk to her like that. Just because she disagrees with you.” Toni stood up for you, standing in between you and Cheryl. The Serpents were stood around you, which made you feel slightly at ease. 

“Oh shut up Strawberry Shortcake.” Cheryl rolled her eyes. 

“Cheryl.” Jughead said in a warning tone. 

“What do you want hobo?” She replied and turned her attention away from you and Toni.

“Hey, thanks for sticking up for u-” 

“Everybody get to your classes. Now!” Principal Weatherbee’s voice boomed down the corridor and you quickly walked away from Toni and the rest of the Serpents. You already had a target on your back, now that you’d defended the Serpents, that target had grown 1000 times bigger. You didn’t need to hang around and talk to them, as much as you wanted to. 

--------

“Hey.” Toni’s voice made you jump a little before you turned to look at her. You were sitting outside during your free period. Which meant you were hiding underneath the bleachers so nobody could find you. Apparently, it wasn’t that good of a hiding spot. 

“Hey.” You sent her a shy smile and moved along so she could sit beside you. 

“I’m glad I found you.” 

“Really?” You asked surprised. “Why?” Did she remember you? She didn’t seem to when she tried to talk to your earlier. Ever since your encounter with her earlier, you couldn’t get Toni out of your mind. She had been your best friend and you thought she’d forgotten about you, but then she defended you, so maybe not. But then, it seemed she looked straight through you, it was like you were stranger, which then made you even more confused. 

“I’ve been meaning to thank you.” She replied. “For this morning and the whole defending thing. I tried to thank you earlier but you ran away before I had the chance. But me and the rest of the Serpents really are thankful. It’s nice to know that at least one person has our backs.” She smiled at you. Oh, she really is as pretty as you remember. Just the sight of her smile made you slightly breathless. 

“Its no trouble.” You shrugged. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.” You replied. 

“Why did you stand up for us exactly?” She asked and your chest started to feel tight. She definitely didn’t remember you. A part of you was thankful, you didn’t want her to hate you, but the other part, the part that had longed for her since you’d left the Southside, felt as though it had been smashed.  

“Oh.” Your voice wavered slightly. “Ya know. I just didn’t think it was very fair that you, I mean the Serpents were being targeted like that for doing nothing wrong...” You trailed off.

“Oh.” She nodded and looked straight ahead. You let out a small sigh of relief before she whipped her head back round, a bright smile on her face. “ I know you don’t I!?” 

“What? I err, I don’t think so.” You stuttered. 

“No.” She shook her head. “I do. It’s Y/n right.” She asked. 

“Yeah.” You nodded anxiously. 

“Your parents used to live a few trailers away from mine?”

“Yeah.” You replied quietly. “We used to hang out and have sleepovers. You braided my hair and I taught you how to fight.” 

“Yeah.” You replied. A nervous smile on your face. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked. 

“I thought it would be best for everyone if you just didn’t remember.” You shrugged. “Plus, I thought you hated me.” 

“Why would I hate you?” She asked confused. 

“Well because I was there for like a year and a half and then I just left to go live back on the Northside.” You explained. 

“That wasn’t your fault.” She replied and placed a hand on your back. “I’m glad that you were able to move back.” She added with a reassuring smile. “I did miss you though.” She shrugged. 

“I missed you too.” You replied. “But I figured I wouldn’t be welcome on the Southside anymore.” 

“That may have been for the best.” She replied with a slight smile before nudging you. “But I’m glad we can hang out now.” She added. “Maybe going here isn’t going to be as bad as I thought it would be.” 

“Hopefully.” You replied. 

“Can I ask you another question?” She asked nervously. 

“Sure.” You laughed. 

“Do you wanna go on a date?” She replied and looked at the floor. 

“What?” You asked confused. “You wanna go on a date with me?” 

“Yeah.” She replied. “Listen, I know we knew each other when we were like 13, but I liked you then, and I kind of never got over it. It grew over the years and well, I let you go one time, I’m not gonna let it happen again.” She explained. 

“Pop’s?” You asked and she looked at you confused. “Do you wanna go to Pop’s for our date tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” She nodded quickly, a bright smile taking over her features. “Just one question?” She asked and you nodded. “What exactly is Pop’s?” 

“What?!” You asked shocked. “You don’t know what Pop’s is? Maybe Cheryl was right about you lot.” You teased. 

“Hey.” She shoved you and you both laughed. “Do you wanna go hang out with the others?” 

“Nah.” You shook your head. “I want it to be just us for a bit. We have a lot of catching up to do.” 

permanent taglist: @lover2448 

#toni #toni imagine #toni x reader #toni topaz #toni topaz imagine #toni topaz x reader #toni topaz x you #riverdale #riverdale imagine #vanessa morgan

[justanoutlawfic]

You’ll Be In My Heart: An Outlaw Queen/Regal Believer Fic

Summary: Regina had her son torn from her arms years ago, but he's never left her heart. Now, his uncle appears on her doorstep, with a way she can get him back...but it comes with a price.

Also on AO3

Adoption was supposed to be permanent. It was why there were so many laws and paperwork. It was why Regina and Daniel had spent tens of thousands of dollars to make it happen.

 They had wanted a family, a forever family. They had been married for 3 years, 2 of those spent trying to have children when they made that choice. After a doctor revealed that Daniel couldn’t get her pregnant, they discussed their options at length. In the end, Regina agreed that she didn’t need a child that came from her own blood. She’d love a child, no matter their age, nationality or creed.

 It took another couple of years, filled with getting their hopes up, only to have the birth mother change her mind at the last moment. At the very least, they never held any of the babies. Some would decide before they gave birth, others held the child for the first time and simply knew that they couldn’t do it. As hurt as Regina would be, she understood. Daniel always said he’d rather her change her mind before they got a chance to meet them. There was less heartbreak that way.

 Then the agency arranged for them to meet with Emma. She was an 18-year-old girl, who told them she had no family. The father was more than willing to sign off on the adoption.

“We’re just kids,” Emma told Regina and Daniel, her hand on the beach ball that had become her stomach. “We want what’s best for our son.”

 The next few months, Daniel and Regina cautiously prepared for a baby. They didn’t tell any of their friends, not wanting to jinx it. Then, on August 15th at 8:15 AM, Emma gave birth. Regina and Daniel had been pacing the waiting room for hours when they were called back. In the nursery, was the chubbiest newborn baby that Regina had ever seen. She lifted him into her arms and her heart cracked wide open.

 Emma didn’t even hold him and neither did Neal. They happily signed anything the social worker gave them, barely sticking around so Regina and Daniel could say thank you for the precious gift they had been given.

 They named him Henry. Henry Daniel Mills-Colter.

 The next couple of years were filled with sleepless nights, teething and that darn Baby Shark song. Regina watched Henry grow into his chubby body, learning what he needed to fall asleep at night. She cried of exhaustion when he’d only sleep for 45-minute clips, but then smile with joy whenever he would at her. Daniel did what he could, but he worked so much. Even so, they were a happy little family. 6 months in, it became official. Henry was theirs. There was no going back.

 Or so they thought.

 By the time Henry was 2 years old, Regina had returned to work at the muesem part time. He was thriving in daycare and though Daniel’s check covered their expenses, she knew that they could provide better if they both worked. It was there that she got the news that would change her life forever.

 Emma was taking her and Daniel to court. She wanted Henry back.

 At first, Regina didn’t think much of it. The adoption was final and Emma had chosen for it to be closed. From a legal standpoint, it didn’t look like she had much to go off of. As far as Regina and Daniel knew, Emma was a broke 20-year-old who hadn’t even finished high school. The law would surely be on their side.

 That’s when they found out that Emma had lied to them about almost everything. The only things that were true were her lack of education and that she and Neal floated from home to home, living in their car most times. What she had left out was that her name wasn’t Emma Swan, it was Emma Locksley. The family was wealthy, with more money than they knew what to do with. She had run away at 16, sick of the pressure that her family put on her. Shortly after Henry was born, she returned home. After going in and out of rehab, she had broken down, telling her parents stories of the evil couple in Maine that had coerced her into giving up her precious baby boy.

 Regina realized that she wasn’t the only one that had been lied to by Emma.

 The Locksley family started a case against Daniel and Regina. They dug through their pasts, trying to find anything that could possibly prove that they were unfit parents. When that didn’t work, they went off of Emma’s lie, telling the courts that the couple had coerced intimidated the naïve teenager into giving up her son. Regina and Daniel fought tooth and nail, giving all the evidence they could. They drained their savings to hire the best lawyer, sparing no expense to fight for their baby.

 In the end, after a year of fighting, the Locksley’s money won out. The judge said that because Emma had provided false information to sign off on the adoption, that it was void. If she wanted him back, legally she could. He ordered for Henry to be removed from Mills-Colter home that very day.

 Henry clung to Regina with all his might, not wanting to leave his mommy’s arms. He sobbed, begging Regina not to let the scary social worker take him. Regina was crying herself, trying to tell him to be a good boy and that she loved him, that she was going to fight for him. None of her words had been enough, not that she expected them too. She showered his face with kisses, promising that she would try to get him back. Daniel stood silently by her side, looking stoic.

 Eventually the social worker managed to pry him out of her arms and wrangle him into the car seat in the back of her station wagon. She drove away, leaving Regina sobbing in her wake. Daniel put a hand on her back, but it wasn’t enough, of course it wasn’t. How could there be any comfort in the fact that they had lost their son?

True to her word, Regina tried to appeal the verdict. Eventually, her lawyer told her that it was just a waste of money. By then, it had been another year. Henry would’ve adjusted to his new home by then. Even if she somehow did win, it wouldn’t be in his best interest to return.

 Regina soon realized that even if it was, the Mills-Colter household wasn’t the place for him to be. Losing Henry had taken a toll on her and Daniel’s marriage. He buried himself in work and while he supported Regina in the beginning of the appeal’s process, he eventually gave up. Regina went to therapy to work through the grief, but he refused. In time, it was like they weren’t husband and wife anymore. They simply co-existed under one roof.

 She wasn’t at all surprised the day he told her that he was leaving. She didn’t even put up a fight, instead telling him that all she wanted out of the divorce was the house. Outside pictures and the few toys she hadn’t sent off to the Locksleys, it was all she had left of the memories of her son. Daniel hadn’t argued there and their divorce was finalized rather quickly.

 It had been three years since her divorce, a total of 5 since Henry was ripped from her arms and Regina had done her best to return to normal. She worked, she went out with friends and she was starting to be able to be around kids again, without wanting to break down in tears.

 Yes, Regina Mills’ life was finally getting back on track, after years of feeling like she was going to break.

 Until the night she got a knock on her door.

 On the other side was a man she hadn’t seen in 5 years, not since the custody hearings. He had stood by Emma’s side, his blue eyes filled with anger, always wearing a designer suit. According to Regina’s lawyer, it was her brother, Robin. That night, he was wearing a simple grey button down and some slacks, his dirty blonde hair a mess from the rain. She wanted to slam the door in this face, but at the same time, he was the only person who could tell her anything about her son. No matter what, Henry would always be her son. No matter what the courts said.

 “Regina,” he said.

“Is Henry okay?”

“He’s fine. Listen, I know you probably hate me…”

“It’s not you I hate. It’s your family.”

“And you have every right to. Leopold and Eva, they screwed you over big time.”

“You could say that.”

“I never agreed with what they did to you.”

“I never saw you fighting to change it.”

“There was nothing I could do. Nothing I would’ve said would’ve been enough to change their minds or Emma’s.”

Regina winced at the mention of the girl that had ruined her life. “Just tell me what you’re doing here?”

“I have a way for you to get your son back.”

#you'll be in my heart verse #outlaw queen #outlaw queen au #oq #oq au #regal believer #regal believer au

[evakfanficsrecs]

Hey, hi, halla!

It’s been some time since I’ve done this again, so I hope you’re all delighted because I’m back with a new dose of Evak fanfic recs for all of you starving out there… yay! :) I wish you all joyful reading, a lovely rest of October and a very Happy Halloween to those who celebrate it! 

As always, the list is divided into oneshots and chaptered fics. My personal favorites are tagged with a “★��. Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “✓”.

*

ONESHOTS:

you and me got a whole lot of history by everythingislove (narrylife)  Summary: childhood friends!au; “You’re going to be my best friend, Even.” Isak decides, showing off his baby teeth with a beaming grin. Even opens his mouth to protest, then shuts it. The words have so much finality to them, and frankly, he doesn’t feel like getting in trouble for making him cry. So he nods. “Best friends for life.” He agrees.

This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted ★ Summary: roommates!au; “Do you still think love is bullshit?” Isak asked one night with his head lying on Even’s lap, both of them sprawled on their couch. It had taken five joints and three beers for his head to end up there. He was a bit high and he just wanted to check. He just wanted to know. “I’m not so sure anymore,” said Even. Or Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don’t believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do.

cracks in our foundation by kittpurrson ★ Summary: “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself. He can’t really explain how strange it is to see himself like this.

I’m Always Here by nofeartina Summary: “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

I like my sugar with coffee and cream by imminentinertia ★ Summary: coffee shop!au & Hate to Love!au; 5 times Even buys a coffee +1 time Isak buys a shirt.

Not a Bird, Not a Plane by shakespeareandsunshine ★ Summary: superhero!au; “May I ask what led to your loss of consciousness?” Isak asks. “Would you believe me if I said I flew headfirst into the eighteenth floor windows of the MagnussCorp building?” Isak looks at him, unimpressed. “Not in the slightest.” “Well then,” Even says, smiling. “I flew headfirst into the eighteenth floor windows of the MagnussCorp building.” Or, 5 times Isak refused to see what was right in front of him + 1 time he did.

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd Summary: coffee shop!au; Isak has a crush on the barista. He’s too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there’s a blizzard coming up.

when i’m close to you (we blend into my favourite colour) by Behindthecities ★ Summary: In which Isak and Even are boy-friends with a hyphen in the middle. Or the the 5 times Isak forgets that he’s not dating Even and the 1 time he does something about it.

Feng Shui by champagneleftie Summary: friends with benefits!au & roommmates!au; “Even!” Isak says, indignant, affronted. “I miss kissing. Kissing is nice.” Even misses kissing too. That was nice. Kissing Sonja was nice. She smelled nice. Isak smells nice. Even has a brilliant idea. “You could kiss me!”

live happily with sugar on by colazitron ★ Summary: While Even tries to work up the courage to approach the cute boy on the tram, the cute boy approaches him. Berries are involved.

you’re the glitter in the dark by piccadilly ★ Summary: fantasy!au; Isak is a witch. The universe wants Even to find out. Or, five times Isak almost revealed his magic, and the one time Even revealed his.

Working Out (with your eyes on me) by afastne Summary: Isak is trying to finish his workout, Even is trying to finish a movie. They both fail rather spectacularly.

Between You and Me (and Them Too) by Rashu89 Summary: The five times Even and Isak’s friends witness them sharing a private moment of their relationship and the one time they get to enjoy it all on their own.

I’ll Be Your Trainer by Victory4 Summary: Isak starts going to the gym. Even discovers that he loves the fact that Isak goes to the gym.

Grind On Me (Take Your Time On Me) by wyoheartsmusic Summary: Are you an angel? … because I can’t quite tell with the quality of your profile pic.

Just what the doctor ordered by skambition ★ Summary: “You just lie back and relax, and I’ll be back in an hour to check on you,” Isak promised on his way out, turning back for a second to give Even the loving smile that he had reserved for Even and Even only, who melted a little and smiled back. * One Shot for the ”Doctor Patient Confidentiality“ Universe - but also understandable without having read it!

caught up in a dream by bbyfruit ★ Summary: friends with benefits!au; In which Isak is less of a mess than usual (LIE), Even is super cool and smooth (LIE), and Mikael just wants everyone to be happy (TRUTH).

can’t you feel my heart beat fast, i want this to last by ourlovelybones ★ Summary: Saturday nights are for staring at beautiful things and falling in love with you.

Adventures in Aerobic Dating by i_once_wrote_a_dream Summary: He is here again. Doing bench presses, all red in the face and groaning softly with the exertion. Even can’t even do anything about it. He’s stuck behind the staff counter, willing away his third ‘gym-rat’ fueled boner this week.

I Think I’m Falling (I Think I’m Falling For You) by EvensDramaticShenanigans ★ Summary: coffee shop!au; Isak isn’t sure if it’s this guy’s incredibly endearing face or the fact that he didn’t just order a fucking Pumpkin Spice Latte, but he suddenly really really wants to kiss him.

Covered In Gold by wyoheartsmusic Summary: In this universe, Isak is a little younger and a little less jaded when he meets Even.

it’s only finger lengths by thekardemomme Summary: Isak hates airports and goodbyes.

Strawberry Milkshake Boy by photographer_of_thoughts ★ Summary: “I don’t want to hear about strawberry milkshake boy anymore, Even.” Yousef snapped, turning the volume up on the TV. Even bit down on his bottom lip, feeling embarrassed. He’d spent the last hour going on about how perfect the boy was; how the boy had quickly drank the milkshake and then licked the rim of the cup afterwards and… He really has a problem. Or, Even has an epic crush on a boy who he keeps seeing at the diner. A boy who only orders strawberry milkshakes.

Halla-ween by vorfm95 Summary: Isak and Even met at a Haunted House in the amusement park on Halloween. * Isak felt his soul leave his body right then and there. He went as pale as a ghost and this time he screamed his lungs out. His instincts pushed him to hug someone, but he couldn’t hug Sana, she wouldn’t like that, besides she was still far behind, and Eva was already hugging Noora. So he hugged the next person closest to him.

cos i love the way you wake me up by hippopotamus Summary: Isak hates waking up alone, especially because Even always leaves for work without kissing him goodbye.

You’re such a heavenly view by LostInAdmiration Summary: Even loved nights with this, after a good party with his close friends, and he and Isak getting to go back to their home together. It was an indescribable sort of joy, and Even was revelling in it.

mastered in this heart of mine by cynical_optimist Summary: Even cuts him off with a kiss to his lips, laughing, and Isak kisses him back, closing his eyes and losing himself, for just a moment, in the warmth and softness of this cold winter morning. * Domestic winter mornings and pancakes.

Porn Poetry by Fxckxxp ★ Summary: It’s Sunday morning, and Isak and Even are both lazy and horny. (But what else is new?)

Pictures of You by EvensDramaticShenanigans ★ Summary: “What the fuck is that?” Even turned to see the redheaded man holding up a hanger with one of the outfits Isak was supposed to wear on it. Isak had a hand on his hip and was staring at the offending article of clothing. “I’m supposed to put that on, Eskild? That sweater looks like it came out of my grandma’s closet!” Eskild laughed and shook his head at Isak, “Baby gay, this is fashion. It’ll look great on you, come on. Put it on.” He instructed, thrusting the hanger at Isak, who took it dejectedly. Or, the au where Even is a photographer and Isak is his infuriatingly gorgeous model.

Could Barely Tear My Eyes Away by EvensDramaticShenanigans Summary: And Even just about melted right then and there in his seat. He was almost positive his eyes had been replaced by hearts, and his smile was so big it was starting to hurt. He blindly set his wineglass down on the edge of the table in front of him, absolutely unable to look away from Isak, and reached an arm across the table. “Fuck, not again!” (Part 2 of Set My Soul on Fire series)

RIP ME by wyoheartsmusic Summary: Not only did he send a wrong link, no, he sent it to a wrong number too! To Even of all people. Even who he can’t get out of his head ever since he met him at Sana’s briefly when he was there to study.

That’s when it all changed by skambition Summary: “How many moments in life can you point to and say: ‘That’s when it all changed’?” - Brooke Davis * A small story about the day changed it all for Isak and Even.

you’re gonna sing the words wrong by strangetowns Summary: He looks like someone stuck together a bunch of parts they thought looked good on their own and expected the result to look like a person, with no sense of what an actual person looks like. Ridiculous. He should look utterly fucking ridiculous. (The most ridiculous thing is that he doesn’t.) “Goddamn,” Eva says approvingly. “Them calves, though. ”* A marching band AU.

with you i’m in warm water by tarjeiandhenrik ★ Summary: fake dating!au & roommates!au; Even might’ve gotten himself into a situation where he has to pretend to be in love with Isak. It wouldn’t be so difficult if he hadn’t been trying to pretend like he wasn’t in love with him for years.

Don’t you see what you are finding? by kaleidxscope ★ Summary: uni!au; This is Heaven in hiding. * Three times Isak gets frustated by Even and one he makes a move.

Got You Carved Into My Soul by i_once_wrote_a_dream Summary: “Isak, babe. This is me. This is the costume that speaks to my soul.”

we’re like two halves of one heart by ourlovelybones Summary: “I just want to know everything about you.” Even says nonchalantly, having no idea that his mere words have warmed up Isak’s entire body. “You’re my favorite person and I find you fascinating.”

S-P-A-C-E by Pingviini Summary: “What on earth is this, Isak!” Eskild shouts through the music as he steals Isak’s phone from his hands making the young man in question jump. “I leave you for two seconds and you are already giving in. No. Shame on you. You hold your head, baby gay. We are sad and angry so he is blacklisted for the night.” Isak tries to reach for his phone intending to give a piece of his mind to Even but is unsuccessful as Eskild fights Isak like his life depends on it and ends up shoving the Iphone somewhere he knows Isak won’t dare to take it. “Serr?!” Isak gasps as Eskild slips the phone to his boxers and then shrugs his shoulders innocently to inform Isak that he had basically begged for it, so ultimately it was Isak’s own fault his phone was now in Eskild’s boxers.

I’m FALLing for you by Schedazzle Summary: coffee shop!au; Everything looked tinged in gold in this season. He never really knew when it started; was it a certain date? Just a random day? Did it happen gradually? Who knew, it always crept up on Even, one moment everything was green and the next the whole world seemed yellow and cozy and just so nice. This feeling only grew when the little bell above the door went off and his favorite customer came in. Even couldn’t hide the smile spreading on his face as he spotted the by now familiar golden curls.

beauty and the moonlight by withoutwords Summary: Isak’s hair sits in piles at his feet, small golden tendrils caught at his shoulders and in his lap and on his shoes. Even tries really, really hard not to cry.

Let’s Let Things Come Out Of The Woodwork by ultimatelawrence Summary: uni!au; Okay so maybe Even’s crush is becoming obsessive. Maybe he’s asked around a bit too much about Isak Valtersen. Maybe he shouldn’t be going to parties he has no real interest in every weekend just so he can look at Isak from afar. Maybe Isak shouldn’t be so damn cute then.

Pour Some Sugar On Me by staylucky Summary: Isak’s put on some Halloween weight and feels self-conscious about it until Even shows him just how much he loves Isak’s body, whatever size.

I Wish I Could Paint Our Love by GayaIsANerd ★ Summary: uni!au & one night stand!au; “I thought this wasn’t a romance movie,” Even says, when they come up for air. Isak rolls his eyes, “Just take me to your bed, asshole.” *  In which Isak meets Even in a bar and Sana knocks some sense into him.

nattergal by dobriks Summary: “Hi, my name’s Isak and I was there in like the middle but then I ended up back here and apparently I’m not tall enough and I can’t see because everyone’s heads are blocking the view and I just want to enjoy Nattergal in peace watching Gabrielle perform and I was wondering if you could, like, lift me up on your shoulders?“ * Or, Isak and Even meet at a Gabrielle concert.  

this feels like falling in love by everythingislove (narrylife) Summary: It goes like this: Even sees a boy from across the Nissen courtyard and falls in love.

i’ll paint the picture, let me set the scene by mmxii Summary: This might very well be the stupidest idea Isak has ever had. And he’s had his fair share of stupid ideas, so he knows what he’s talking about, okay.

not the kind of fool who’s gonna sit and sing to you by hippopotamus Summary: Isak doesn’t sing, and Even doesn’t get surprised by Isak anymore. Actually, neither of those statements is true.

I Ducking Love You by wyoheartsmusic ★ Summary: "MISSED CONNECTION - You were the boy sitting on this park bench, I was the guy fighting a duck for my pants and losing.” Or, Even has a disagreement with a duck and Isak and Even fall in love along the way.

I missed you by nneazzz Summary: Isak, Even, Mahdi, Magnus and Jonas cabin trip.

since we’re alone by allyasavedtheday ★ Summary: “You don’t go to Bakka, do you?” Even asks when he’s exhaled. “Um, no. Nissen.” Even looks at him, a smirk tilting his mouth as he lets Isak take the joint back from him. “In enemy territory. Brave of you.” Isak scoffs, feeling a little more of the tension drain out of his shoulders – even if Even leaning closer does have his heart ratcheting up a beat or two. “Nissen and Bakka aren’t enemies.” Even tuts. “You’re no fun, Isak. This could’ve been a great start to a modern twist on Romeo and Juliet, you know? Two star-crossed lovers meet at a party but their school rivalry is destined to tear them apart.” * If Isak and Even had met at the Bakka party mentioned in 2x01.

Pumpkin King by i_once_wrote_a_dream Summary: co-workers!au; Isak grins, and taps the crown. “You’re the dumbest king I’ve ever met.”

Skeleton Key by riyku Summary: This is physiology. A conked-out teenaged boy on autopilot. There’s no intent behind it. It could be the dregs of a dream, or nothing more than the pure creature need to make an ache go away.

I’m Someone You Maybe Might Love by ultimatelawrence Summary: Even could feel it with every inch of his body, whenever he so much as looked at Isak. It was just three words. Eight letters. God, his full name had more letters. So why was saying i love you for the first time so complicated? (Part 2 of the Melodrama series)

The Worst Soulmate by kaleidxscope ★ Summary: soulmate /ˈsəʊlmeɪt/ noun: 1. a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner. * Well, Isak hates his.

Neon Party, Take Two by awickedwind ★ Summary: It’s really, really important to Even that he and Isak attend this lame high school party. And it isn’t until Isak realizes what kind of party it is that he understands why.  

sweeter than wine, softer than a summer’s night by dewdrops Summary: co-workers!au; “It’s a pretty slow day… no ride mishaps, only a few cases of food poisoning. Not much else to talk about.” Isak shrugs, looking up at Even. Even feels like a melting rat under the gaze of what must be some ethereal being, because who looks like that after standing in the same spot under a blazing sun for hours on end? Even’s too distracted to notice that Isak’s eyes have wandered elsewhere, now fixated on something behind his head. He doesn’t move to see what it could possibly be until Isak says, “It looks like one of the giant stuffed frogs from your booth is trying to get away.” “What?” Even furrows his eyebrows, turning his head. The group of teenage boys from earlier has found their way into his booth and are now working together to tear down one of the biggest prizes that hang overhead. “Oh, God. They’re back.�� * Or, Isak and Even work at an amusement park.

after dark by evenskindness Summary: It’s one of those Friday nights.They’ve had the pre-game at their place with the guys, then moved their way to the actual party of the night and spent hours of just socializing, drinking and smoking with their friends. It’s been nice; the party was at Chris’s place so there had been mainly people they already knew, which made the atmosphere comfortable. However, instead of going to a club, Isak and Even has ditched their friends and made the decision to head home instead. Isak and Even and (sappy) late night talks and sloppy kisses. “Because I feel like a lucky coincidence is the only option for someone like me to get someone like you… But on the other hand, I feel like we’re meant to be.“

just a silly phase by thekardemomme Summary: Hate to Love!au; Isak and Even don’t like each other. (Also: Isak and Even play 7 Minutes in Heaven.) Time heals all wounds.

Say My Name by orphan_account Summary: Isak counts down the minutes until he can love Even.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder ★ Summary: “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” * It starts with a hug.

Life Patterns by Joana789 Summary: 14:05 - Even would write novels about him if he were a writer, or compose songs about him if he were a musician. But he’s neither, so he doesn’t. He draws Isak a heart, instead, like he’s done times and times before, traces it into the skin of Isak’s bare shoulder with his fingertips. He doesn’t know when he’s supposed to stop feeling like this.

We Keep This Love in a Photograph by kapplebougher ★ Summary: As he pulled out the last of his books on the bookshelf, one of the scrapbooks came loose and fell to the floor, face up. Isak automatically glanced down at the cover. Morocco - Summer 2017 was written in white ink on the cover in Even’s handwriting. Above it was a picture of the two of them pressed cheek-to-cheek and smiling with a happiness Isak hadn’t felt in weeks. They were standing atop the roof of a building, the vibrant lights of the marketplace below them twinkling in the background like colorful stars.Isak swallowed. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do it. But he turned back around and reached for the scrapbook on the floor. *  It’s been four weeks since Isak and Even made the decision to call it off. Now, Isak’s back in their apartment of seven years and he’s supposed to be moving out, but then he stumbles upon some memories that makes doing that a little difficult.   

Those magic changes my heart arranges by diamondjacket Summary: He slowly, cautiously lifts his gaze. And his eyes run smack into blue ones he thought he’d never see again. Those blue eyes widen immediately, and that soft, pillowy mouth—the same mouth that had tasted Isak’s, not long ago—drops open in shock. “Isak?”

Oh boy, here we go again by kingkylo Summary: uni!au; Isak’s heart has been through many things but never experienced true love. That all changes when he meets Even Bech Næsheim.

Something Wicked by Sabeley ★ Summary: uni!au; Attention residents: This Halloween will be one to die for. For the next four weeks, Nissen Hall will be taking part in a role-play murder mystery extravaganza. Do you think you can figure out whodunnit before time runs out? Or will you be the next to die? All interested victims can sign up below. Or the one where Isak and Even are each convinced the other is a fake murderer, but they are for real turned on by it anyways.

CHAPTERED:

Guess he wants to play (a love game) by diamondjacket ★ Summary: sports!au; He’s reverted to his previous task of lacing up his shoes when Even walks through the locker room door, practice bag slung over his shoulder and a heartbreakingly weary look on his face. By all accounts, he looks like shit. Doesn’t stop Isak from wanting to climb him like a fucking oak tree, unfortunately. * Or: A professional tennis AU.

Benefits by bri_ness Summary: friends with benefits!au, coffee shop!au & co-workers!au; Isak and Even explore the benefits of their relationship.

the truth about my disguise by mikaeloboukhal Summary: childhood friends!au; Since the day Isak was seven and stepped into Even’s room, they had always been best friends. Isak doesn’t think that’ll ever change. Or, the AU where Isak and Even are childhood best friends and that’s the only thing Isak is completely sure of in his life.

Can you feel the Love tonight? by skambition ★ ✓ Summary: festival!au; When Even let his gaze scan the masses, he caught a pair of green eyes staring at him shamelessly. Even raised an eyebrow, before looking the guy up and down. He was tall, even though not as tall as Even, had a really good looking body, slim and firm and defined in all the right places. He was wearing a grey snapback, and Even saw the blond curls spill out from underneath it. Fuck. The guy continued to stare at him, now with a smirk on his face, and Even couldn’t really look away anymore.

The Bucket List by Skamaxis Summary: Isak had a bucket list. A sex bucket list where he wrote all the places he wanted Even to fuck him. It was a silly list that he wrote while bored at work one day, and he thought nothing of it. Until Even found it.

family by cammm Summary: Even and Isak are married. But something feels like it’s missing from their lives. Something only a baby can fix. Or, in other words… Evak adopts a baby!

We Don’t Need to Whisper by ughasifxclueless ✓ Summary: Isak Valtersen is a new teacher at Bekkulaget with an embarrassing crush on the Head of Upper Juniors, Even Bech Naesheim. His mentor, Christoffer, is constantly winding him up and Isak’s beginning to doubt if teaching is for him.

a careful hypothesis of the heart by StMisery ★ Summary: Hate to Love!au & co-workers!au; "The boss’ fucking son got the job. Out of a pool of dedicated applicants. You can’t just deny nepotism like that,” he said. “I’m Isak, by the way. I didn’t catch your name?” Leaning against the metal banister in the elevator, the other man was the picture of calm. “I’m the boss’ fucking son,” he said. * Isak and Even don’t start out on the best of terms. Isak had been waiting nearly a year for the position of researcher to open up again. If he got it, he’d be working his dream job within one of the best biotechnology companies in the world. He applied for the position, heart in his throat, only to be passed over for the new recruit. When he discovered the new hire was also the son of the CEO, well, that was an unforgivable offense.

Lovesick by Sabeley ★ ✓ Summary: Even is absolutely not making up excuses to take his daughter to see the hot new pediatrician. (Except he totally is.) * Or 5 times Even’s daughter wasn’t actually sick and 1 time she was.

Relapse by queerwriterbee Summary: film industry!au; Isak Valtersen is an up and coming actor from Norway who has just broken into the Hollywood film industry. He’s confident in his skills and his ability to handle the image he has to portray in the spotlight– fame has it’s prices, and as far as Isak’s concerned, it’s worth it to do what he loves. That is until he gets a part in an edgy new film– written and directed by the notorious Noora Saetre–with first time actor Even Bech Naesheim as his romantic opposite. Isak thought he could handle forcing himself to live life as the charming, straight actor the world wants him to be– but, how can he ignore a connection as strong and as natural as this? * A film industry AU in which Even and Isak find each other on the set of a movie and fall deeply, tumultuously in love.

Vivid in Black and White by Fxckxxp ★ Summary: fake dating!au; In a Hei Briskeby video prank taken too far, Isak meets Even for the first time down on one knee—asking for his hand in marriage.

all i wanna do is be near by hippopotamus Summary: friends with benefits!au; They’d been friends, back at Nissen. Just friends, both wanting more but neither admitting it until it was too late.Two years on, Even keeps coming back to Oslo, back to Isak, though he can’t ever stay more than a few days. A relationship isn’t worth the distance between them most of the time, but at least they can pretend while he’s here. Or, 5 times Even only stays the night, and one time, who knows?

Nobody Loves Me Like You by cuteandtwisted ★ Summary: childhood friends!au & uni!au; “I’m Isak’s best friend,” said Even, almost glaring at Jakob. “Well, like best bud. Like we’ve known each other our whole lives,” Isak added nervously. But then Even downed his sixth or seventh drink and leaned across the table. “We might have known each other our whole lives, but I’d fuck you if you asked.” Or Isak and Even are childhood friends who enjoy ruining each other’s chances with exactly everyone else, rewatching the same movies, taking care of each other, and pretending they’re not in love.

we’ve made it this far, kid by everythingislove (narrylife) ★ Summary: The kollektiv had been Jonas’s idea. It was originally part of their plan to conquer the world as they went off to university together—the ultimate bachelor pad with a spare bedroom for hook-ups and a surplus supply of condoms available at any time. It took the death of Isak’s sister to change all of that. Their spare room was converted into a football paradise, every door and cupboard childproofed and any alcohol securely locked away, and in moved five-year-old Felix Valtersen. With four equally irresponsible and clueless uncles looking after him, he’s bound to turn out okay… right? * Or: the one where Isak is just trying to raise his nephew as best he can with the help of his best friends. He doesn’t expect to fall for Felix’s gorgeous football coach along the way.

Always been yours by candysky ★ Summary: Isak and Even are best friends and nothing more. They are also oblivious fools who haven’t realized that they’re in love. Or 3 times their friends notice just how in love Isak and Even are and the one time they take it upon themselves to get them together.

take me as i am by argentae ✓ Summary: coffee shop!au & uni!au; He isn’t crushing, and nevertheless this guy has become a Problem, because whenever he’s on shift he’s made it increasingly difficult for Isak to really spend his time productively. Sure, he could just find another place to study but he likes the access to coffee here even though he actually kind of hates the bitterness of it and he’s just not going to let himself get swept aside because of this guy. In summary: Isak has been suffering. Terribly.

No Chance That I’m Leaving Here Without You On Me by plumclouds ✓   Summary: Isak might just be a cocky little shit. Even might just love it a little (read: a lot).

The trip to you by charlyflowers Summary: Hate to Love!au; Isak hates Even. He hates him with all his heart. What a pity the art class are coming also to the trip to Germany.

toilet bowl syphilis by thekardemomme ✓ Summary: Isak is drunk and crying in a bathroom stall in the middle of London when another Norwegian happens to walk in.

79 Percent by wyoheartsmusic ✓ Summary: fake dating!au; Isak helps Even out in a desperate situation.

Paint My Conscience Gold by EvenbechNeiheim ★ Summary: There’s always Isak, the boy in white and silver. And it’s easy, you see, it’s easy because he already has a road for him laid out. He has gotten his life, even when he hasn’t figured out how to live it. He’s never really broken a rule, never stepped out a foot away from his picket fence box despite the desire he has for it to splinter around him. And then there’s Even, the boy in black and gold. Who wrecks the picket fence box like a tornado, and promises to take Isak’s heart with it.

I Think I Wanna Marry You by mondayblues Summary: fake dating!au; Even’s sister is getting married and Even doesn’t have a date, despite him assuring his mum that he does. He turns to Twitter in hopes of finding someone willing to go with him. What happens when a young man, by the name of Isak, agrees to go with him? Could it be love? Or just another person for Even to pin all of his hope onto? (Or the parallel universe in which Isak replies to a tweet that lands him a ‘date’ with Even.)

Alphabet Aerobics by nofeartina ★ Summary: It starts with something Magnus says. Because of course it does.“I bet you two have the most adventurous sex,” he says and looks at Isak with stars in his eyes. Do they really? Isak’s suddenly not so sure. Or the one where Isak makes them explore sex using the letters of the alphabet.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) ✓ Summary: coffee shop!au; “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time.Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?” Isak nodded his head pathetically. Or, in which Isak pines and Jonas has had enough.

Loving With A Little Twist by EvensDramaticShenanigans ★ ✓ Summary: If someone had asked Isak three years ago how he would be spending his Friday night, he absolutely would have answered: out with the boys, getting smashed, and pretending to be into the girls that threw themselves at him (although he wouldn’t have seen it as pretending back then). Never in a million years would he have answered: lying in bed with his boxers tugged down to around his ankles, his hand and stomach smeared with come- all from watching a cam show- a boy’s cam show, no less. Or the one where Even’s a camboy and Isak just wants to study.

Next to you, is where I call home by LostInAdmiration ★ Summary: childhood friends!au; “Why don’t you start track too? You’d be a good sprinter, I’m sure you’d do great,” suggested Isak.Isak wasn’t entirely sure why he asked - he mostly liked being alone and he barely knew Even - but there was just something about Even that had drawn Isak to him. (When Isak had admitted that a few years later, Even had insisted it was fate, that they were destined to be best friends. Isak just argued that he was a good judge of character.)

tender (is the night) by kittpurrson Summary: soulmates!au; His whole body aches, like he’s regrown his limbs overnight, stretched out muscles he never knew he had.Isak knows, in that moment, that his life has just been turned upside down. “You bonded,” Even’s girlfriend confirms, and the pity in her eyes doesn’t go unnoticed. “Try not to move.” * The one where Isak and Even accidentally soulbond.

I don’t even know your name by skamdeg (hamilfish) Summary: uni!au; The pretty boy from across the street is there, making a coffee. He’s got the fancy machine that you can steam milk with and he looks like he knows how to use it. It’s a little hot, if he’s completely honest. The boy looks up and grins at Isak, smile brighter than he’s ever seen before. Isak doesn’t know if it’s because he’s drunk but he feels fuzzy inside.

The Right Destination by AifaSkam Summary: “And let me guess, you’re not great at first meetings?” “I’m sorry. My mind was somewhere else.” “Well, sorry for bringing it back here.“ The guy says and extends his hand. “I’m Even.”

Face First by LinksLipsSinkShips Summary: Isak’s blackout drunk and has an unorthodox way of meeting Even.

–A

#even x isak #isak x even #evak #evak fanfiction #evak fanfic #skam #skam fanfiction #skam fanfic #evak fanfiction recs #masterposts

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior for January 10, 2020 – 1917, Like A Boss, Just Mercy, Underwater

Well, it looks like we’re back to the usual business now that it’s 2020 with the first weekend with four wide releases – two new movies and two expanding after opening in limited release over Christmas. I’m running a little behind on this so I’ll work on finishing a few reviews before Friday but for now, you can just get a general idea of what’s coming out so you can make some moviegoing plans.

The big movie that I’m most excited for people to see is Sam Mendes’ WWI epic 1917 (Universal), starring George MacKay and Dean-Charles Chapman as two soldiers sent on an urgent but dangerous mission to the frontlines to prevent an invasion that could leave thousands of British soldiers dead. It’s one of the most exciting movies I saw last year, which is why it ended up on my Top 25 at #2. I already reviewed the movie for ComingSoon.net and did some interviews for VitalThrills.com, so I probably don’t have a ton more to say about it, but it is the one movie I can recommend whole-heartedly this weekend. It is easily one of the best movies I saw last year (twice!)

This weekend also brings the high-concept R-rated comedy LIKE A BOSS (Paramount), which pairs Rose Byrne with Tiffany Haddish and Salma Hayek, three very funny women and great actors in a movie directed by Miguel Arteta (The Good Girl). Essentially, Byrne and Haddish play long-time besties who have been building a small grassroots make-up company and then Hayek comes along as a huge corporate mogul who wants to buy them out who makes a deal that will allow her to get a larger percentage if the two friends break up. You can probably guess the rest. (My review will be posted later tonight since it’s under embargo.)

Mini-Review: It was almost immediately apparent as Like a Boss began that this movie wasn’t going to be for me. It wasn’t the premise or the characters as much as it was the fact that it expects the viewer to be somewhat savvy about the make-up business, something I know (and care) little about.

Byrne and Haddish play best friends Mel and Mia, who have turned their shared love of make-up into a thriving local business that gets the attention of Salma Hayek’s Claire Luna, a big-shot exec at a corporation who wants to buy a stake in their business but with a catch. If for some reason the friends break-up, Luna gets the majority share of the company. This is literally the difference between a 51% and a 49% stake… so not really that big a deal.

I’m not even sure where to begin with this because there’s so much talent involved that generally deserves better, but Haddish has yet to deliver anything on par with her Girls Trip role, and that doesn’t change here. Mind you, I’ve been a big Rose Byrne fan for quite some time, and she’s really been great in movies that allow her to go between humor and drama, but it feels as if she’s trying way too hard to keep up with Haddish, who has actually toned back her character to be more of a 4 or 5 on the Haddish scale.

Jennifer Coolidge seems to be doing the exact same thing she’s done in everything from Legally Blonde to Two Broke Girls, basically acting like a dimwit, and it’s a shame because it’s not really a good part. There’s also Mel and Mia’s three best friends who are so useless at bringing anything to the story that it’s unclear why they’re in the movie at all except to act as a Greek Chorus.  This leaves it up to Billy Porter to steal the movie with but just one scene, and pretty much the only one that delivers a laugh.

I’m not sure if the makers of this movie thought that it would be seen as another pro-feminist movie that women flock to, but the problem might be the simple fact that it’s written and directed by men. That certainly couldn’t have helped, especially since this movie is clearly trying to be another Bridesmaids by pushing the R-rated envelope.

The thing is that if you’re going to make a comedy, you should at least try to make some effort for it to be funny, and the fact that Jennifer Lopez’s Second Act takes place in a similar environment but finds a way to be funnier is telling that Like a Boss just isn’t up to snuff.

It’s doubtful Like A Boss will be anyone’s worst movie of the year, but that’s because it isn’t particularly memorable and will likely be forgotten by February.

Rating: 5/10

Another movie expanding nationwide after a platform release is Dustin Daniel Cretton’s prison drama JUST MERCY (Warner Bros.), which stars Michael B. Jordan as young defense attorney Bryan Stevenson, who finds himself trying to get prisoners on Death Row exonerated. The movie also stars Jamie Foxx as Walter McMillian, a man falsely accused of murder who becomes Bryan’s biggest case to date while Brie Larson plays Eva Ansley, who works with Bryan. I was kind of bored by the movie the first time I saw it, but I gave it another chance recently and generally liked it more, especially towards the last act. I may write a review before Friday if I can find any time but I’m pretty slammed this week.

The last movie of the weekend is actually one I’ve been looking forward to, since the sci-fi thriller UNDERWATER (20th Century Fox) is my kind of movie. It stars Kristen Stewart, Jessica Hardwick (from the Netflix series Iron First), TJ Miller, Vincent Cassell and John Gallagher, Jr. as a team of scientists who are trapped 6 miles below sea level when their station is hit by a catastrophe and they learn that they’re not alone down there. It’s the new movie from William Eubank, a talented filmmaker who I interviewed years agofor his movie The Signal. I’m also still working on my review for this so please check back tonight/tomorrow for it.

Mini-Review:

It’s a bit of a bummer this new undersea horror-thriller probably won’t get a fair shake from critics, because it’s being released in January. Far too many film critics just love their clichés, and when it comes to January movies (other than the ones premiering at Sundance), they expect everything to be horrible. They go in with that thought in mind and then nitpick to make sure they’re theory is right. Maybe it’s true, but it’s also not particularly fair when you have a movie like Underwater that delivers exactly what’s being sold.

The underwater drilling station Kelper rests on the outskirts of the Mariana Trench, and no sooner then we meet Kristen Stewart’s electric engineer Norah, Kepler is hit by a powerful earthquake that tears the station apart, as she and a few of her colleagues do what they can to survive. They soon learn that they’re not down there alone.

Yes, the premise is a bit of a horror cliché we’ve seen many times before, mostly in space thrillers like the classic Alien, but director William Eubank (The Signal) clearly has chops to direct a much bigger-scale movie like this that involves a lot of underwater FX-work.

While the dialogue isn’t always great, and the attempt to make TJ Miller the film’s comic relief doesn’t always work, you generally like the characters played by Stewart, Hardwick, Cassell and Gallagher, which tends to be half the battle when it comes to horror films.  You actually care about them as they face bigger and bigger jeopardy.

I’m sure some women will take issue with Stewart spending a good portion of the movie in a skimpy bathing suit, as soon as she’s out of the bulky deepsea suit she wears for the rest of the movie, but you won’t hear any complaints from me about that.

Like I said, the movie gives you exactly what is being advertised and Eubank has created a movie that’s suitably claustrophobic and at times, legitimately terrifying.

Rating: 7/10

LIMITED RELEASES

The movie opening in limited release that I can recommend highly is Ladj Li’s police thriller LES MISERABLES (Amazon Studios), an amazing police thriller about a group of French detectives trying to deal with issues taking place at the local projects. I thought this French film (France’s shortlisted selection for the Oscar “International Film” category) was fantastic and shows a promising new talent in Li, who wrote and directed the film. If it’s playing in your area, I recommend checking it out, although I’m guessing it will be on Amazon Prime sometime soon as well.

I haven’t seen Jon Avnet’s THREE CHRISTS (IFC FIlms), which has Richard Gere playing Dr. Alan Stone, a psychiatrist in charge of dealing with three schizophrenic patients who all believe they’re Jesus Christ, as played by Peter Dinklage, Walton Goggins and Bradley Whitford. It will open in select cities and On Demand shortly after.

Opening Friday in the States roughly eight months after it opened in the United Kingdom is Ron Scalpello’s crime-thriller THE CORRUPTED (Saban Films), starring Sam Claflin as Liam, an ex-con trying to win back the love of his family, while trying to get out of the tangled web of corruption surrounding him. The movie also stars Timothy Spall, Hugh Bonneville and Charlie Murphy.

Josh Hartnett and Margarita Levieva star in Anthony Jerjen’s Inherit the Viper (Lionsgate), playing siblings Kip and Josie, who are dealing in opioids as their only means of survival.  Kip’s attempts to get out of the family business put him and his sister and younger brother (Owen Teague) in danger. it will open in select cities and On Demand.

Ofra Bloch’s documentary Afterward (1091) debuted at DOC-NYC last year with its look at the issues between Israel and Palestine that came out of the Jews being driven out of Germany during World War II and settling in Israel where they were seen as an enemy by the Palestinians, while trying to give and receive forgiveness. This is a fantastic doc that will open on Friday and then be on VOD January 28.

Alison Reid’s doc The Woman Who Loves Giraffes (Zeitgeist/Kino Lorber) is a little more obvious what it’s about, as it follows Anne Innis Dagg’s solo journey to South Africa in 1956 to study giraffes, featuring voicework by Tatiana Maslany, Victor Garber and more. It opens at New York’s Quad Cinema on Friday and at the Laemmle in Los Angeles on February 21.

Opening today at the Film Forumin New York is Renaud Barret’s doc System K (Artification Release), which looks at the city of Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo and the street artist performance scene that criticizes government corruption and the poverty that has struck the area.

The Sonata (Screen Media) stars Freya Tingley as a virtuoso violinist who inherits the mansion of her composer father (the late Rutger Hauer) after his sudden death, where she discovers a mysterious score with strange symbols that she tries to decipher with her agent and manager (Simon Abkarian).

This week’s Bollywood offering is Meghna Gulzar’s Chaapaak (FIP), starring Deepika Padukone as a woman attacked with acid in New Delhi in 2005 and how she survived it.

REPERTORY

It’s a new year so we’re back with more cool repertory stuff!

METROGRAPH (NYC):

My favorite local rep theater is beginning with two movies by Your Name and Weathering with You director Makoto Shinkai: 2007’s 5 Centimeters per Second and 2011’s Children Who Chase Lost Voices. On Saturday night, the Academy is back at the Metrograph screening Lina Wermüller’s 1976 movie Seven Beauties. Also on Thursday, you can see two “Metrograph Standards,” Jack Hazan’s A Bigger Splash (1974) and Edo Bertoglio’s Downtown 81. Welcome To Metrograph: Reduxwill screen Richard Quine’s 1958 film Bell, Book and Candle, Late Nites at Metrograph will screen Akira Kurosawa’s High and Low  (1963) while the Playtime: Family Matinees  selection is Danny Devito’s Matilda from 1996.

FILM AT LINCOLN CENTER (NYC):

Folllowing up FilmLinc’s amazing Korean cinema series from last year, this week, they’re doing a special “The Bong Show” retrospective, highlighting the work of soon-to-be Oscar nominee Bong Joon-Ho, as well as other related films with Director Bong in person for some of them. It runs through January 14 and besides all of his feature films, there will be a showing of all his shorts on Friday night, January 10, as well as Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s Cure  (1997), Deliverance (1972), Intentions of Murder (1964), John Frankenheimer’s Seconds (1966), John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) and more.

ALAMO DRAFTHOUSE BROOKLYN (NYC)

Tonight’s “Weird Wednesday “is the 1984 Supergirl movie, starring Helen Slater, which is almost sold out. Thursday’s “Cherry Bomb” pick is the 1988 film Shy People. Next week’s “Terror Tuesday” is the horror classic Ghoulies (1984) and “Weird Wednesday” is Tarsem’s The Fall, the latter hosted by Vaiance Films founder Dylan Marchetti.

THE NEW BEVERLY (L.A.):

Today’s “Afternoon Classics” matinee is Norman Jewison’s 1967 film In the Heat of the Night, while the Weds./Thurs night double feature is Secret Ceremony and Boom!, both from 1968, both starring Elizabeth Taylor. Friday’s “Freaky Friday” is the 1985 film Re-Animator, while Tarantino’s own Django Unchained is the Friday midnight movie. This weekend’s Kiddee Matinee is the Studio Ghibli film Ponyo, while the “Cartoon Club” is also running this weekend. The Saturday midnight movie is Martin Scorsese’s classic Taxi Driver  (1976). Monday’s “Monday Matinees” is the Stephen King adaptation Misery (1990), while the double feature running from Monday through Thursday are newer films, Greta Gerwig’s Little Women and Sofia Coppola’s The Beguilded from 2017, both in 35mm.

FILM FORUM (NYC):

On Wednesday, Film Forum will begin screening a 4k restoration of Russian filmmaker István Szabó’s Mephisto (1981) along with screenings of his other movies, Confidence (1980) and Colonel Redl (1985).  This weekend’s “Film Forum Jr.” is one of my all-time favorite comedies, Billy Wilder’s Some Like It Hot(1959), starring Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis.

EGYPTIAN THEATRE (LA):

Apparently, the Egyptian now has two theaters? Sweet! As part of the theater’s “New Year’s Resolutions” its screening the 1993 horror anthology, Necronomicon: The Book of the Dead on Friday in the Spielberg Theater, followed at 10pm by Roar (1981). The Egyptian’s usual theater will screen a double feature of Airplane! (1980) and Stripes  (1981) on Friday. On Saturday, you can see Pacino in Scarface (1983), the sci-fi classic The Incredible Shrinking Man (1957) and Terrence Young’s Valley of the Eagles (1951) with an introduction by Joe Dante (schedule-permitting).  Also on Saturday night is a double feature of Rosemary’s Baby (1968) and The Other (1972). Sunday’s “New Year’s Resolution” is “Get More Sleep!” in the form of Akira Kurosawa’s later film Dreams (1990), plus you can also see a 35mm print of The Blue Angel (1930), starring Marlene Dietrich as part of the theater’s “Sunday Print Edition.” Sunday’s New Year’s Resolution is Deliverance (1971)andWake in Fright (1972).

AERO  (LA):

As part of the series “The Films of Marty and Bob, the Aero will screen a matinee of Taxi Driver (1976) on Thursday – two days before the Alamo. (Oops!) Thursday night is a double feature of Douglas Sirk’s 1955 film All That Heaven Allows and Fassbinder’s 1974 film Ali: Fear Eats the Soul. Friday begins an “All About Almodóvar” series with a double feature of Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown  (1988) and All About My Mother (1999), Saturday is Bad Education (2004) and Talk to Her (2002) then Sunday is some of the filmmaker’s earlier work, The Law of Desire (1987) and Matador (1986).

QUAD CINEMA (NYC):

This weekend, the Quad will screen four movies by Bernard-Henri Lévy: 2012’s The Oath of Tobruk, a double feature of Peshmerga and The Battle of Mosul, and Bosna! With an introduction by Lévy. Sorry, but I’m not really familiar with his work enough to elaborate. 

MOMA  (NYC):

The Museum of Modern Art has started a new series called “Show Me Love: International Teen Cinema” running through January 19 with some interesting selections including Diane Kurys’ 1977 film Peppermint Soda, Greg Araki’s 1993 filmTotally Fucked Up, Satyajit Ray’s Teen Kanya (Two Daughters) (1961) and more.  Another series that will run through February is Modern Matinees: Jack Lemmon, which will show some of the comedic actor’s best movies, including 1963’s Irma La Douce on Wednesday, Blake Edwards’ Days of Wine and Roses (1962) on Thursday, George Cuckor’s It Should Happen to You from 1954) this Friday. (Most of the movies will be repeated later in the series.) Tuesday’s matinee returns to “The Films of Marty and Bob” with New York, New York(1977).

IFC CENTER (NYC)

The IFC Center is in the middle of a comprehensive “Films of Studio Ghibli” series with a bunch of Studio Ghibli animated films, which will run through next week, as will the 75thanniversary digital restoration of the cinema classic Casablanca. This week’s Late Night Favorite selections are David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive and Eraserhead, Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining and Kathryn Bigelow’s Strange Days (1995).

MUSEUM OF THE MOVING IMAGE (NYC):

MOMI is in the midst of a “Curators’ Choice 2019” made up mostly of new movies vs. repertory stuff. Saturday will be a tribute to the late Carol Spinney with a screening of the 2014 doc I Am Big Bird.

ROXY CINEMA (NYC)

The Nicolas Cage love continues with the 1997 action movie Con Air.

LANDMARK THEATRES NUART  (LA):

Friday’s midnight movie is Rene Laloux’s 1973 animated familyFantastic Planet.

Next week, Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are reunited for Bad Boys for Life, taking on Robert Downey Jr. as (Doctor) Dolittle.

#TheWeekendWarrior movies Reviews 1917 JustMercy Underwater LikeABoss repertory

[dezembergirl]

Homework (Apart 5)

I fell in love with writing happy and fluffy Noorhelm, so that’s why I kinda stopped writing this story. It’s so much for emotional complex and  straight up heart breaking to write. Buuuut I got over my self and wrote another chapter.

I really hope you like it! (Also I tried to quicken the pace, so we can get to the better parts sooner.) <3 for sticking with me!

Fandom: Skam

Pairing: Noorhelm

Story: Apart

originally published at ao3

Eskild had pulled every trick - unpacking Noora’s stuffed rucksack multiple times included - to persuade her from moving. She wasn’t leaving the Kollektiv, not really; not like London. But she could assure Eskild she’d be back next weekend all she wanted, he kept pouting and begging.

She would have never presumed to ask Eva anyways, but when her friend had offered to share her room for a couple of nights until her mother returned from Brussel, Noora couldn’t refuse. The empty house was less crowded than the city flat she shared with three more or less agreeable living companions. Even Eskild couldn’t argue with the lack of beds at the Kollektiv and the past nights on the couch had left her spine aching for a real mattress.

Sprawled on Eva’s bed and a pillow tucked under her chin she scrolled through her phone. It really was a bad habit, especially since her thumb paused on William’s unanswered chat every time. It wasn’t as if she didn’t want to reply; Noora knew just how hard it was, waiting for an explanation, even a quick hi, anything but silence. She remembered the sleepless nights she had spent last spring, sulking in her own bed and alternated between praying for a single word from him and cursing William for not replying to a any of her texts. She put the phone down and leaned back against the propped up pillows.

«I hate irregular verbs.» Eva had her books and papers scattered across the duvet and pillows, struggling with a Spanish homework.

Not being back at school yet, Noora had nothing to distract herself with and there was only so much cleaning one could do. (Scrubbing the wall at seven in the morning two days ago might have taken it a step too far.) She hated the empty space in her head, it reminded her of London and all the things she had left London for. So when Eva had kept on nagging about her dropping grades, she had been more than glad to look over her essays and papers for her.

«They’re not so bad once you get them into your head.»

«Spanish doesn’t agree with me. I should have chosen German.» Eva sighed and Noora laughed.

«Because that would be any easier?»

«At least it doesn’t have the Spanish r.» to Noora’s amusement Eva tried to roll the r and failed miserably.

With a groan Eva forced her attention back to the paper and Noora continued scrolling through the chat. It read like a diary of the growing distance between them. The last ‘I love you’ was weeks past and she scarcely remembered the last time he had said it to her in person. It must have been some hectic morning where he would quickly kiss her goodbye, mumble the words and disappear for the next 8 to 10 hours.

She scrolled back to his newest message.

William: Noora??

It wasn’t because she didn’t love him anymore, she still did. Maybe too much, but he had changed in ways she had barely recognized him some days. Not just because he had swopped his simple pants and fitted sweaters for perfectly tailored suits and dark blue ties that seemed to strangle all life from his body. She missed the person that had made her cocoa every other night and she could have talked about absolutely anything with at 2 am. He knew so much about her, everything there was to know - except maybe for the spelling of her name, but that was mystery even her parents hadn’t been able to explain. Eva was her best friend, the first girl she had met in Oslo, but there were things they didn’t talk about. Eva’s family was fucked up as well with her mother always traveling but until William no one had ever comprehend what it meant to have family and still not have family at the same time.

She was grateful for the things Mari had told her. It might not have been right to hear it from her but every time she had tried to ask William about it since, the pain in his eyes had made her drop the topic instantly. He had only managed to tell her how he used to play with Amalie, read her stories and would slip under the covers with her to keep the nightmares away. Noora had never known a sibling of her own but William’s choked words as he remembered his little sister mangled her heart. She had scarcely ever seen him cry before that. Mari had been right, he had perfected the art of hiding his feelings, even from her. (Had he cried now that she had left him?)

Maybe that was the problem, they were too fucked up. Or was it that William had finally found the family he had never had in Oslo. Noora had only ever met his father once, two days after they moved into the apartment. He had been there to give William something work related and had only acknowledged her with a quick nod, not waisting any time on niceties. Though she appreciated the honesty, his cool demeanor had felt especially out of place compared to William’s almost childlike excitement.

He had had daddy issues written all over him and no one, especially not his father, had ever looked close enough to care. Now that he did give him attention it had changed everything. She should have been happy for him, for finally finding some family member that showed any signs of interest, but that wasn’t was family was supposed to be. Just like her, he had probably never experienced genuine love or honest affection before, and this came close enough.

Was it because she wasn’t so sure what William would have chosen, her or his dad? Not that she would have ever posed such an ultimatum but she wouldn’t put it past his father. Maybe this was his answer, he chose London over Oslo, work over her. Noora knew it wasn’t a fare assessment, she was the one who had left and it was pathetic to think he would drop everything to chase after her the second he discovered her disappearance. (It was selfish, but every time someone knocked on the door or entered a room, she would hope it was him, just for a split second.)

She continued to stare at the unanswered message, the brightness of the display making her eyes strain. When her phone vibrated, the surprise almost caused her to drop it. Her mouth went dry when another white bubble appeared under his last one.

William: Chris told me you’re in Oslo, can you please answer

She wasn’t sure if it was good or bad that he knew where she was.

«Eva,» she looked up from her homework. «Have you told Chris that I’m back?»

«Hmm» Eva furrowed her brows, «Was that supposed to be a secret?»

Noora swallowed and pursed her lips. Eva had a point, it was no secret and explaining why William’s best friend knew more about his girlfriend than William himself was a topic she didn’t want to tackle. Eva was still twirling her pen between her fingers studying Noora, who very clearly wasn’t typing a reply to William’s text.

«If you wanna talk about it …» Eva carefully said.

«I know,» Noora nibbled at her lip. «It’s just there is nothing to talk about.»

Eva didn’t look convinced but dropped her eyes back to her Spanish homework.

For now, she hadn’t told anyone exactly why she was back. Only that everything was okay and she had missed her friends. Thankfully, no one had been bold enough to ask any more than that. Sometimes she would catch them staring, studying her face as if they expected her to collapse in front of their eyes at any second. She would have to tell them the truth at some point but for now she was grateful that Sana had stifled any tactless questions Vilde was no doubt itching to ask.

William: just please say something. I am so sorry!

Her buzzing phone send shockwaves through her body and she had trouble concentrating on the words on the screen. She was sorry too, more than he knew.

This would have been so easy if it had all been his fault, his doing alone. But the truth was complex and she knew that running wasn’t the appropriate way to deal with their problems, but staying would have killed the last bit of life in her soul. Why couldn’t he be the asshole she had seen in him a year ago, self centered, caring for none but himself and no one she could ever fall in love with?

What was worse, that she knew that he cared, maybe even more than she did - only he hid it well - or that he had stop caring about her; if he hadn’t, he hid it even better.

She knew that that was what they all assumed when they stared at her. The pity filled eyes, because surely William Magnusson had returned to his old ways and had sent her back to Oslo with a broke heart. The urge to defend him battled with the still intact peaces of her broke pride. They wouldn’t believe her, Eskild hadn’t when she had tried her best to explain how she was the one who had done all the leaving. She didn’t want to imagine the look on Sana and Eva’s faces when they discovered what she had actually done. How she had been too weak to face Nico at the trial, how she had lied to everyone and had left William with nothing but an empty apartment.

Her eyes were glued to his name on top of her screen and she had to bite back the tears. Noora wanted to scream at him, make him see all the things her head couldn't find words for and her mouth was to cowardly to pronounce. She wanted to say something, anything at all.

She couldn’t.

She wanted him here, at her side to wipe the tear from her cheek and make all of the last months undone. Instead she stared at Eva, still struggling with her essay and swallowed down the childish wishes.

They went to sleep early and Noora was thankful for a full night’s sleep in a real bed. She closed her eyes.

If he really loved her, he would come after her; maybe Eskild was right.

#noorhelm #Skam #noora x william #william x noora #noora sætre #william magnusson #noorhelm fic #skam fic #apart

[myonceuponamoon-blog]

Sean's story

Staring out the window while it rattled, letting a freezing breeze in through the small cracks. He sighed as he watched another gust of wind take the tips off the snow drifts, swirling them around town square like a magic spell.  Candles flickering off the fresh powder along the roadsides. A light clink pulled him away from his thoughts as the barmaid dropped off another round. He gave her a half sincere smile, inhaling deeply the aroma wafting off the spiced mead.

"So, looks like you'll be spendin' te night with us afta all, aye boy?" A firm slap on his shoulder.

"It would appear so." He sighed deeply, wafting the steam off his mug.

"Ahs not sa bad! Helluva lot warmer than out thar!"

He must have looked skeptical.

"I swear on me life!" The rugged man placed his hand over his heart. "Ta folk here'll give ya a good night!"

"Maybe so, but it's a night wasted when I could be working on my book."

He grazed his eyes over the small crowd huddled up trying to stay warm in the pub. The barmaid had walked over to throw some more wood on the fire. As the log landed it sent sparks scattering and the flames licked up toward the mantle, where a lone pair of glasses sat in front of a painting.

"Aye! See ya mirin' our fair founder thar!" The burly man slapped his shoulder again, he would definitely have a bruise tomorrow.

"Your founder, eh?" He sipped at the mead enjoying the warmth of it. He flicked his eyes back to the painting, an admittedly quite handsome man. He had short cropped hair off to one side, littered with an array of colours. Thick black framed glasses covered his eyes. He was in some sort of formal wear; as he dragged his eyes down he noticed the thick black frames sitting on the mantle, surrounded by aged flower petals.

"That he is! Rebuilt dis here town from da ground up!" The man knocked back his cup of ale in one swallow.

"Re-built? What happened to it the first time?" His own curiosity getting the best of him, he finally had to start asking questions. Maybe he could throw it in the book with a few tweaks to keep it interesting.

"Well now, dat be a story for ta ages! Best ye get ya fancy papers out ta write it down!"

He humoured the rugged man, at some point he should probably catch his name. But for now, he just dug his papers and ink out to take notes of anything mildly interesting. Once he was settled he gestured toward the man to go on with his story and sat back.

"Well, den! Gatha round ta hear da story of da founder of Hamtramck!" He watched as people who had huddled themselves around the fire left their warmth to listen to the tale.

"T'was a long time ago, Hamtramck bein run by ol' Lord Walter." People booed at the name, others yelled tiny quips about poorly running it.

"Aye, aye. Was running his people in ta da ground he was! Workin night n day, nary a break between em! Ol' fool thought thar was something after him! Neva strayed from dat keep ova yonda." He vaguely gestured toward the window.

Craning his neck a bit and leaning back in the chair, he could make out what appeared to be a ruined castle in the distance upon a hill.

"Everyone had ta work! Kids, even ol' folks! Mine up da ore! Chop some fresh lumber! Train for da enemies dat was for sure a'comin! 'They'll be here any day!' he'd say! 'They're after my head!'"

He was getting rather bored admittedly, the same old story of an evil king treating people unfairly; until a brave man stepped forward to put a stop to it.

"We had ta build a wall! Keep tha enemies out! Kicked his own family out for plotting against him! Declared war on everyone he set eyes on, da neighborin towns was gettin angry. Tried n tried to reason with him! Plenty o soldiers left they jobs, ran off inta da woods, never came back." He shook his head sadly as the barmaid dropped another round off for him.

"But, one day, he jus stopped showin up. Not a soul sawr em! Ta guards were runnin all da messages ta da townsfolk. An dey jus kept gettin more ridiculous! Fires had ta be out before sundown, even in winter! Smoke'd give away where we was! No women were ta get wit child! Would be anotha mouth ta feed an train! Had 'em made an example of right in da square there.." He had trailed off sadly to knock back the next round.

He felt his stomach clench at that one, imagining freezing women trying to hide their pregnancies and children.

"Aye..any child dat weren't old enough to contribute shared da same fate n same for those who tried ta speak up n stop it. Townfolk dwindled down ta almost nothin n den ta tradin stopped. Musta made some kinda demands n they was tired o dealin wit em. We was neva a farmin village, food ran scarce real quick. We was still fightin off all da people he declared war on! Bodies jus lay in da street, nobody had da strength or energy ta give em da burial dey deserved. Da final straw for lot a folk was da last message da guards ran to us. If da bodies were jus gon pile up like dat, we oughta make use of em!"

"You don't mean?" He realized he had leaned forward to listen more intently at some point.

"Aye lad, afraid I do. He had a village ta feed n defend. Guards piled those bodies up ta fix da breaks in da wall. Said if we was hungry to take our pick, but make sure dat fire was out before sundown!" He scoffed angrily.

His stomach was churning at the images being put into his brain. "So then, how did it get like this?" He thought back to the afternoon walk into the village. A great stone wall laying dilapidated and broken, clean homes and smiling faces; children playing in a creek running through the edge of town. A grand tower just past the centre of town decorated with flags and banners.

"Well! Afta da townfolk started rebelin, there weren't much ol' Walter could do. No one even seen da ol' cook in a year! Those left alive was barely dat. Folks went into hiding, some just plain left. Plans were bein made, ideas to storm da keep n take da mad kings head ourselves! But we was tired n broken." His shoulders were drooping and head hanging down as if reliving it right now.

"But.. your founder..?" He offered in a voice barely above a whisper.

"We was banded togetha, what was left of us. Stood out da keep! We would go out fightin togetha instead o hidin n withering any more! We called n called for da bastard to show emself but all we got was guards levelin bows at us from da wall. We was ready ta finish dis one way or anotha. Just as da arrows was about to loose, a purple cloud came ova da horizon! Thought we finally lost our heads! But it got closer n closer, da guards tried ta fire on it but dey bounced right off! Dey retreated back into da keep yellin all da way."

His mouth felt incredibly dry no matter how many rounds he pounded back. He felt like his eyes would bore holes in this man at any moment.

"Dat cloud followed em right inta da keep! We was watchin n waitin what felt like ages. Den, the cloud started to appear right in front o us! Da cloud gathered itself up n took da form of a man! He were tall, with crazy hair and some odd dress dats for sure." A few chuckles came from the crowd.

"But da most important thing was he had a jar in one hand filled up with some kinda black swirly stuff. And den in a boomin voice, enough to shake da leaves off da trees! He told us da king was dead! Said da black swirlies was what made da king crazy n ta get it out he had ta kill em! Course we thought he was crazy! Stormed da keep ourselves we did! Found da kings body, looked like it been dead a long time. Castle was trashed from da war but the inside looked like some kinda demon let loose!" Some of the older patrons rubbed at their arms, trying to forget the memories.

"We asked dat cloud man what da hell was goin on!? Said he felt a great evil n came ta take care of it. But now we was without a king, even if he was mad he still had da kingdom runnin! We begged dat cloud man to help us, he did! Boy oh, boy did he! We tore dat wall down first thing, he did some kinda magick! Cleaned da whole town and helped us rebuild it, magick lamps instead o fires n sent messages ova to da neighbors again ta let em know what happened. They was here in 2 weeks to help! All da while we was gettin to know dis cloud man. Called himself a wizard. We just called em a hero!" He slapped his knee and laughed heartily.

"Da town was startin to look like a home again n da cloud man left. Off ta do somethin wit dat swirly he said. Didn't get to properly thank him! So we built dat there tower in honour o da man. Was da least we could do! A few months after hed gone da town was happy again, tradin was back up, neighborin towns stationed folk here to help out. No new kings here! Just us folk deciding togetha what ta do n make it fair for everyone. But wouldn't ya know it one day we see dat same purple cloud comin over ta horizon! Everyone came running out to da tower to see em! Boy, he looked haggard dis time tho! Said it was somethin to do with the swirly. Well, he all but collapse then n there! So we dragged em on up to da bed in da tower."

A silence came over the room as everyone seemed to recall the day. He cast his gaze over to the glasses sitting on the mantle, he had to swallow the lump in his throat a few times.

"Aye, he was a good man. We owe em more den we could eva say."

"My god, thank you, sir for telling me all of this... I'm sure it can't be easy to relive it." He straightened up in his chair.

"If ya forget history ya doomed ta repeat it lad! Just make sure ya give us a bit o credit in ya book there!" He pointed to the blank pages littering the table.

"Of course! Please, sir, what is your name?"

"It's Str-"

SLAM

The door nearly flew off its hinges it was thrown open so hard. He snapped his head to the shadowy figure in the doorway. Jaw dropping as the man in the painting stumbled into the room. It was entirely silent as he tripped over himself and the floor, bumping into tables and people. Until he reached the mantle and placed his glasses on. Turning around, it was nearly the exact same image as the painting.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you to stop using my glasses as some sort of tribute." A lovely baritone; not at all booming voice came out of him.

"H...how are...you're...alive?" He managed to sputter out as the man walked toward them.

"Alive...? Strubbe, are you telling people I died again?" He turned toward the burly man, 'Strubbe.'

"Well your da one who says ya dead on every level 'cept physical." He sipped at his drink not making eye contact.

This story is entirely based off an inside joke and yet I'm posting it anyway. Sorry.

#writing #creativewriting #art #portfolio #commisions open #author #joke #commisions #old work #onceuponamoon #oc

[scripts4dreamers]

Shameful Behavior pt. 2

Part One

AN: William decides to pick on someone his own size for once. Pairings: William x reader Characters: William Magnusson, Christoffer Schistad, Vilde Hellerud, Noora Saetre, Sana Bakkoush, Chris Berg, Eva Mohn Spoilers: None Warnings: None Prompt: “Can you please do a William from Skam x reader where she’s his friend and they fall in love and stuff?”

Of course, William had hooked up with Vilde. You should’ve seen that coming, considering that she was exactly his type. It brought a bitter taste to your mouth whenever you thought about it, especially because you’d actually become quite close to Vilde and her friends, so you had to listen to her obsess over him almost every day. Conversely, William hadn’t even mentioned Vilde since they’d slept together and, somehow, that was painful too.

You were standing in front of your mirror, inspecting your outfit for the seventh time that day and wondering if you should change. You were hosting a party at your house and, by the sounds of it; most of the school was planning on attending, which meant that you had to look stunning, or at least interesting. The top you had on was more low-cut than was normal for you, and the skirt was something you’d never imagined yourself wearing, but put together, you were feeling good. A faint tapping on your window knocked you out of your daydreaming and you spun around, clutching at your chest.

William’s smiling face met yours and you breathed out a sigh of relief, unlatching the window and stepping back so that William could clamber into your room with all the grace of a baby gazelle. You giggled as he tripped and scrambled to right himself, fixing his hair as he did.

He gave you a fond smile that made your heart pinch and pulled you into a hug.

“You ready?” He asked, with his chin resting on your head. You nodded and he let you go, taking your hands in his, “Let me see you then,” he said, scanning your body with his eyes.

You blushed, but didn’t move away. A muscle in William’s jaw jumped and his eyes hardened. It was a look you’d seen him wear countless times and it always made you feel a little breathless. When he looked like this, he was unknowable. He opened his mouth, ready to speak, when you heard a knock at your front door.

“Coming!” You called, shooting William an apologetic look as you darted down the stairs.

You flung the door open and pulled Chris into a hug, before turning to face the pretty, dark haired girl on his arm.

“Hi, I’m Iben,” she smiled shyly, “I’m Chris’ girlfriend.”

“Naaw, that’s so great, welcome guys.” You gushed, ruffling Chris’ hair with your fingers, “I’m Y/N Y/L/N. Come in, come in; you’re the first to arrive.”

Chris frowned as they followed you into the large living room that looked out onto your back patio.

“Really? Isn’t William here? He left before we did.”

“Indeed I am here,” Will answered, striding into the room confidently. He looked like himself again, and you relaxed, “I just don’t think than Y/N/N really counts you and me as guests anymore.”

“Fair enough,” Chris laughed, “Iben, I’m sure you know William?”

The girl nodded and shook his hand, looking nervous. You couldn’t exactly blame her, she was standing in a room with three third years who went way back, and who were well-known throughout the school. That would intimidate any second year.

“Did you guys tell the other Penetrators to bring drinks?” You asked.

“Of course, who do you think we are? Julian is bringing enough alcohol to feed an army.” Chris answered.

William put his hand on your shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. He knew how nervous you got before hosting a party, especially one this size.

“Don’t stress, we’ve got everything under control.” He promised, “You just worry about having a good time alright? The boys and I will make sure everything goes smoothly.”

You leant your head against his hand and breathed out, making a concerted effort to calm yourself down. This was just a party, it was just like every other party you’d gone to and it would be fine. The doorbell rang again and, as you welcomed in the floods of guests that were arriving, you sent a silent prayer to whoever might be listening. Please let the night go well, you prayed, please don’t let there be any drama.

--------------------------

“No, but don’t you think that we, as women, have a responsibility to not perpetuate stereotypes?” Noora asked.

You thought for a minute. You’d had quite a bit to drink already, but you were still sober enough to make decisions for yourself, which is why you were curled up on the couch with Noora and not out doing something dumb, like dancing on the bar, or crying over William. Both of which were pretty normal for you during your second year at Nissen.

“I think that, as women, it’s not our place to tell one another what our responsibilities are, you know? I mean, there are tons of women out there who want to be housewives, or who like wearing make-up and cooking and cleaning, just ‘cause that’s who they are. I think it’s only a problem when it starts to be expected of us just because we are women.” You answered, “Plus, we’re all guilty of being a bit of a stereotype every now and again.”

Noora nodded in agreement as Sana collapsed onto the couch next to you, looking mad.

“What’s up?” you asked, nudging her with your arm.

Sana rolled her eyes, “Vilde. She’s chasing William down again, as if stalking him is going to make him like her.”

You swallowed hard, torn between pitying Vilde and being horribly jealous, “Where are they?”

Sana shrugged, “I tried to tell her that it was a bad idea, but of course she didn’t want to hear any of it. Couldn’t you talk to her Y/N? I’m sure she’ll listen to you.”

You snorted and refilled your glass from a half-empty bottle of champagne that was left on the coffee table, “I’ve tried, multiple times actually.”

“And she ignores you?” Noora asked.

“It’s more like, she knows that I’m trying to be nice, but she doesn’t think William would talk to me about girls anyway.” You explained, “Which is ridiculous, because girls are pretty much all that Chris and Will talk about.”

Okay so that wasn’t entirely true, but you were annoyed with William, so you didn’t really care, and what had started off as a light buzz had deepened into something dangerously close to full blown tipsiness.

Noora and Sana laughed, “Boys are ridiculous,” Sana declared, “all of them.”

You nodded in agreement, “Truly, they are. If you girls stay away from boys, you’ll stay away from drama. Mark my words, everything bad that happens during your high school career will somehow be related to a boy, they’re pests.”

“Oh come on Y/N, don’t you think you’re being a little harsh?” Chris asked, appearing out of nowhere.

You shot him a look, “Don’t act all innocent Christoffer Schistad, you know that I’m right.”

The boy relented and nodded, shooting you an apologetic smile before turning back to the first years, “Listen to this one, girls. She knows her way around the block.”

You smiled dopily and nuzzled into Chris’ side, resting your head on his shoulder as he draped an arm around you protectively. The drinks had finally caught up to you and it felt like you were floating on a cloud of calm. Your head was pleasantly light and your body felt warm and heavy. The noises of the party buzzed around your ears like flies and you nuzzled further into Chris to block them out. He smelt like soap and something else that you were too drunk to recognize and it was comforting how familiar it all was. You’d always been able to rely on Chris. He made a questioning noise in the back of his throat and gave you a gentle squeeze.

“You alright Princess?” He asked softly, “Do we need to send everyone away?”

You shook your head, “William is off somewhere with Vilde, did you know that?” You said, the words bubbling out of you without your consent.

Chris looked confused but answered slowly, “Um, yeah I think I saw them together a while ago, why?”

You sighed, your head spinning but your chest feeling lighter than it had in ages, “They’re probably having sex right now, in my house too. How messed up is that?”

“Uh-“

“I mean, I know it’s William and I know he can’t help how many girls like him but, really? Can’t he just let me have this one party? Can’t I go one night without picturing him with another girl and just wanting to die? Is that too much to ask, Chris? Is it?” you asked as you sat up.

Chris’ eyebrows shot up and his mouth opened and closed a few times as he tried to order his thoughts.

“Y/N,” he started, slowly, as if he was carefully choosing his words, “do you…have feelings…for William?”

You frowned, “Of course, I thought everyone knew that. See? That’s why it’s so unfair of him, because he knows how I feel about him and he’s still off somewhere sleeping with my friend, in my house!”

Chris threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter, his chest vibrating as he chuckled.

“Trust me on this Y/N/N, William has no idea that you like him, like, none. If he knew-you know what? I think you should just go talk to him.” Chris suggested.

“You know what? I think I will. He can’t just keep doing this to me anymore, no sir!”

Something in the back of your mind screamed that that was a terrible idea, but the warm haze of alcohol told it to be quiet and you stood shakily, swaying on your feet as your head spun. Chris held your arm to steady you and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek.

“Just-just remember that he didn’t know, okay?” he reminded you, “He really didn’t know.”

You nodded and gave Chris a lazy grin as you turned to stumble your way towards the back of your house, where you knew people had gone to hook up. If you’d been more sober, maybe you wouldn’t have gone, but you were angry and hurt and you needed it to be over, once and for all.

#shameful behavior #william magnusson #christoffer schistad #Skam William #William #skam chris #noora sætre #skam noora #Sana #Skam Sana #William x reader #Skam imagine #William Magnusson x reader #jordsie #jordsie writes #skam evak #skam even #skamedit #skam #skam season 1 #skam season one #skam season 2 #skam season two #skam season three #skam season 3 #skam season 4 #skam season four

[glossyfincher]

Unspoken jealousy

Prompt: “could you do yousef being jealous of isak”

Summary: Yousef didn’t even want to got this party. He didn’t feel good about it. It was too big, too loud… He hoped seeing Sana would make him feel better. The thing is, she was already busy. 

It was a friday night. Earlier in the day, Eva had sent Adam a text telling him that the whole squad could come at a party tonight. From what Yousef had understood, a friend of hers was organizing it and there were supposed to be people who had already graduated from Nissen. Since they had nothing planned for the night, the guys accepted to come right away.

Yousef was more reserved. He was tired, and he didn’t really want to party right now. All he wanted to do was go home and watch a movie or sleep. But the guys all urged him to come : « the party seems awesome » they had said.

Yeah, it seemed like a big party where they didn’t know anyone and everyone would look at them as if they were intruders or thieves. Yousef always felt like he was the only one to think about this stuff. After all, they didn’t know Eva’s friends, and from what he knew about her, she was a rich white girl living in a rich white neighborhood. And rich white neighborhoods weren’t always the most welcoming when it came to people like his friends and himself.

Anyway, it appeared he didn’t really have a choice. That’s how he found himself walking towards a big white house he didn’t know on a friday night, sipping on an energy drink Mikael and him were sharing.

The thing that comforted him was that Sana was probably going to be there. She was going to be there, and he knew she would feel excluded too, because he noticed. He noticed how she at him sometimes and he felt like she understood how he was feeling, not even needing words. He knew that just looking at her would make him feel better about his night, and he would go home feeling at least a little bit better.

When they finally arrived, Adam sent Eva a text in which he asked her to come down and welcome them so that they wouldn’t look like they were just disturbing the party. There were quite a lot of people smoking and drinking beers outside. It seemed like the house was overflowed by students. Both Eva and Noora appeared at the door at some point, smiling. They welcomed them in and introduced them to the host of the party, a boy named Chris who used to go to Nissen. While his friends went and tried to cross the crowd in the main room, Yousef stayed and chatted for some time with Chris and Eva who seemed pretty close for what the girl had called a « friend ». His host was actually pretty charming, even though his ego appeared to be pretty big and his hand glued to Eva’s butt.

Yousef escaped by telling them he had to go to the bathroom, which he did. The relative silence of the first floor was great, and for a few seconds he considered staying there until someone noticed he was gone, but he didn’t.

He still didn’t feel good about this night. He had read about social anxiety before and what he felt right now seemed pretty close to that. Yoused inhaled and exhaled slowly a few times and got out of the bathroom. He needed to talk to someone he knew and felt like he just needed support, any kind of it. He tried to regain his composure while walking down the stairs. Noticing a door (probably the kitchen) in one corner of the room he walked in, Yousef walked straight to it. He wanted a fresh drink, something that would cool him down.

He pushed the door open. Biting one of his finger nails, he entered the room, expecting to find one or two couples making out against the kitchen island. All he found was a boy talking to Sana. Suddendly all he heard around him was white noise. They both looked so into their conversation that Yousef didn’t want to interrupt. Making as little noise as possible, he closed the door behind him, still looking at them.

Sana was apparently laughing at something he’d just said. Yousef didn’t know how to feel, really. He wasn’t expecting this at all. Seeing Sana laughing made him feel good inside, but the fact that it wasn’t him making her happy made him mad in a way. They seemed to know each other really well. He’d never seen the blond boy around, and he realized that he really didn’t know much about Sana’s life. He knew her face features by heart, the way she dressed, the way she talked to her brothers and parents. He gleaned information here and there, and the little things she said or let out when he was around her were the only facts he knew bout her. Not that Yousef was a stalker or anything, but hearing about Sana was always something he loved. Every little thing he learnt about the girl was a clue to break the mystery that he felt had always surrounded her.

She was impressive and pretty in her own way. Delicate and strong, always trying to be right and always fighting to be. Yes, Yousef found Sana fascinating. And he liked her. He liked how she made him feel, and how in one look she could make him uncomfortable or happy or angry. He liked how everytime she walked in on him in their kitchen, she tried to make him feel at home, just because she knew his fucked up parents were the reason he was always there. He liked Sana. That was a fact he couldn’t deny to himself. However, he apparently didn’t know her that well.

She was talking when the boy raised his head and saw Yousef. Sana kept on talking, which wasn’t really usual to him : when he was around, she always seemed to be very quiet and when she talked, she chose her words well enough not to have to talk for too long.

Yousef looked at the boy with a blank expression on his face, trying to seem totally normal and at ease in this situation. The thing was, he just wanted to know who the guy was. What were they talking about exactly ? Why did Sana seem so happy around him ? Why was she talking so much ? Yousef was jealous. He just wanted to be in this guy’s place. He wanted her to notice him, to talk to him, to laugh at his jokes. But she wasn’t. Honestly, he didn’t want to be mad, because he wasn’t supposed to be. Yousef should have been happy for her. He tried, he really tried for a moment.

After a few seconds of Isak looking at him, Yousef decided that if he really wanted to seem normal, he had to just take a soda in the fridge and walk away. That’s what he did, but before he even tried to go back in the main room, he heard :

-Hey, I’m Isak !

The words were loud in the almost empty kitchen, and obviously directed at Yousef. Before he could really think, Yousef’s body turned around to face the couple. Sana looked at him with a raised brow, and Isak was holding out his hand to him. Yousef shook the boy’s hand.

-Hi, I’m Yousef, he said calmly.

-Yeah, Yousef is one of my brother’s best friends ! Sana said in a cheerful and unusual way.

He frowned before trying to smile to Isak. There was a blank and Yousef looked at Sana, kind of expecting her to tell him who Isak was.

-Oh, sorry… Yousef, this is Isak, a friend of mine.

Had she just tried to clearly state that he wasn’t her friend and that Isak was ? Sana and him were both looking at each other in a weird way, as if they were trying to talk only with their eyes. Yousef looked away, sipping on his drink.

-Okay, I’m just gonna go, sorry for the trouble…

He’d said that before taking a step to go back into the living room. Once again, before he could do anything else, he felt someone lightly grabbing his arm.

-No worries, man ! I was leaving anyway, Isak said, apparently looking expectantly at Sana.

Yousef looked at the girl who seemed shy all over again. Silence surrounded them. She took a sip of her coke before putting her left hand in her pocket.

-Do I… Do we make you nervous ? Yousef asked, all of a sudden, really wondering about her sudden change of behavior.

-What ? Wh… No. No, you don’t. Why would you ask me that ? Sana answered.

Yousef had obviously noticed her trying to get a hold of herself mid-sentence. He smiled lightly.

-Because you seemed cheerful and loud a minute ago, and now you’re all shy and quiet… I feel like you’re not comfortable around us… Or maybe around me, I don’t know.

There was a blank between them, and Sana looked at her feet as if they were the most fascinating thing she’d seen all day. She seemed to have lost her ease. He looked down at her and hesitated for a while before putting a hand on her arm in an attempt to comfort her.

-I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable… I just… I was just wondering.

She looked at his hand on her arm before raising her eyes and looking at him. He let his hand fall to his side.

-It’s okay, it’s just… Isak is one of the few friends i can talk about anything with, and he makes me laugh.

-Oh okay, so you guys aren’t… Yousef wondered innocently, praying for her to understand what he meant.

-Dating ? No, never ! Isak’s not…

She took a moment to think about the end of her sentence as Yousef took a sip of his drink again, frowning.

-He’s not my type, she said with a little smile.

-No ? He inquired.

-No, Sana answered.

Yousef was so glad she said no, he almost hugged her. Instead he just took a step towards her. She looked at him : his nose, and then his jaw, and then she went back to his eyes. Her gaze on him was all wonder and attention, as if he was a curiosity of some sort, as if she was looking at him for the first time. The thing was, they’d known each other for years. It just was the first time they looked at each other so closely. She took a sip of her coke again, a smile in her eyes. He genuinely smiled back at her.

-So what were you and your friend Isak talking about anyway ? He asked, finally.

-Oh, just a stupid movie…

-Oh yeah ? I know a lot about movies… Yousef said, ironically arrogant.

-Oh really ? Tell me about High School Musical 2, then ? she asked in an ironic way, her smile spreading to her whole face.

-Oh no…

And she laughed. Sana laughed to his reaction, and Yousef laughed to, simply because he was happy to make Sana Bakkoush smile.

note: I trully hope you enjoyed this one ! it was supposed to be a prompt… I love Yousef and Sana so much you can’t even imagine. If a muslim reader has something to say/to comment//to remind me, i will gladly accept and listen ! Not being a muslim myself, i try to be respectful. If i’m not, please let me know :) Thank you for reading, if you have any prompt idea for me to write, don’t hesitate to submit them !

#let me know what you thinkkkk #sana x yousef #yousef x sana #yousana #yousana fanfic #jealous yousef #isak valtersen #yousef #yousef acar #sana #sana bakkoush #skam #skam fanfic #mine #(i love them both so much) #yousana prompt #yousana prompts

[rapmonphile]

getting to know me

i was tagged by the incredible and sweet @chim-jiminie-cricket to do this question game! tysm chim, ily!!

your last . . .

1. drink: a s’mores frappuccino from starbucks

2. phone call: i literally never talk on the phone but it was probably with my mom (tbh ......i was probably at the grocery store and called her in a panic bc i couldn’t find smth)

3. text message: i sent my sister a screenshot of that post that’s like “i wanna run away but like in a ghibli movie .....” bc we spent all day yesterday watching ghibli films

4. song you listened to: polarize by twenty one pilots

5. time you cried: um this is embarrassing™ but it was a few days ago bc i’d been having a Bad Week and the last straw was when i went to dairy queen and when they turned over my blizzard n handed it to me (why tf do they do that) it made a goddamn mess and got all over my shirt and seatbelt and i was so mad i started crying jhhgsdghhg

have you ever . . .

6. dated someone twice:  no but i did almost date the same guy like 4 times in high school (it was so needlessly complicated.... i sometimes wonder what would have happened if we’d ever gotten it together and started dating)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: u m i have actually never kissed anyone tbh

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: uh yeah i think i might be depressed? but it also might just be my anxiety but idk who knows man

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, i don’t drink and i’m legit terrified of throwing up

list 3 favorite colors

12-14. mint green, oxblood, and hunter green

in the last year, have you . . .

15. made new friends: yes!! so many, esp on here

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: yes :’)

18. found out someone was talking about you: hmm no i don’t think so?

19. met someone who changed you: lmao i literally hate this question.......,, i mean yeah i guess? i mean nothing dramatic but i think everyone you meet changes you a little

20. found out who your friends are: ohhhh yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no, ew

random questions

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, the ones i don’t know are friends of friends or we went to the same high school (i never use fb though so it rly doesn’t matter to me)

23. do you have any pets: yeessss i have a pit bull and she’s the single love of my life

24. do you want to change your name: no i don’t think so, mags is just a nickname but my real name is p unique and even tho i wish people could spell/pronounce it on the first try, at least idk anyone else with my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday: one of my best friends has a bday like 5 days before mine, so we just combined our birthday celebrations and us and a couple more friends went to steak n shake and saw beauty and the beast together

26. what time did you wake up: 9:20 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching the gong show, lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: i’m going to a music festival in september and i’m soooOOo excited!! also i can’t wait to go to the beach with my family

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: i am looking at her rn

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i wasn’t so afraid to do new things and i wish i didn’t have so much anxiety about things that literally everyone has to go through (i.e. change)

31. what are you listening to right now: my mom running around putting things into boxes (we’re moving soon)

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: u mean 707′s neighborhood friend tom? ... yes i actually have met someone named tom

33. something that is getting on your nerves: it’s too hot in this room and i am dying

34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube

35-37. ok so i’ve answered these same questions like probably 10 times over the years and these 3 q’s have literally always been missing. whats the deal

38. hair color: rn it’s brown with blonde highlights

39. long or short hair: it’s getting longer

40. do you have a crush on someone: no

41. what do you like about yourself: hfgdhs idk ,,, i think i’m a fun person and i won’t judge people for liking “weird” things bc i have a lot of ... eclectic interests and i hate how it feels to be teased for that

42. piercings: i just have one in each ear.... i want a cartilage piercing but i’m scared of pain and also it bugs me that you can’t remove it for like 6 months

43. blood type: that’s a good question, i should know that but i don’t

44. nickname: mags, except ppl in real life don’t actually call me that lmao

45. relationship status: single and tbh i’m comfortable with it, i tried dating recently and tbh it is so fucking exhausting

46. zodiac: i am literally a textbook aries

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: the office, bbc sherlock, gravity falls, or anything on the food network/hgtv

49. tattoos: none, i’m scared of pain and commitment

50. right or left handed: right

51. surgery: never had one, thank god

52. piercing: um,,,.,, repeat question

53. favorite sport: tbh i hate sports but i am completely obsessed with the olympics, particularly swimming, diving, figure skating, and women’s gymnastics (seriously.... idk if any of you followed my main during the olympics last year but it was p much all i blogged about)

55. favorite vacation: disney world (i go every year and i went this january but i’m missing it so bad rn)

56. favorite pair of trainers: i have a pair of light gray and light blue nikes that i looooove but i’ve had them for like 3 years and they’re getting worn out

57. eating: nothing, but i did have an eggo waffle this morning

58. drinking: ice water

59. i’m about to: finish packing up my bedroom :(

61. waiting for: my mom to take a shower so we can go grab lunch (there’s literally no food in our house since we’re abt to move)

62. want: the ac to kick on so i can stop dying (it’s already so hot today)

63. get married: hhdgsd idk, ,,, probably (i always say how much i hate romantic shit but tbh i can’t wait to find someone who makes me rethink all the cynical stuff i’ve ever said about love)

64. career: don’t even ask i’m gonna have an anxiety attack (i’m in college and haven’t declared a major yet can u tell)

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: hugs, kissing grosses me out a bit tbh

66. lips or eyes: both (but if i had to pick i’d say eyes i think)

67. shorter or taller: don’t rly care but i guess i’d pick taller

68. older or younger: older

70. nice arms or nice stomach: both (or either)

71. sensitive or loud: these aren’t mutually exclusive but i’d say sensitive

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

have you ever . . .

74. kissed a stranger: no

75. drank hard liquor: no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no, my glasses are 100% always on my face

77. turned someone down: yes

78. sex on the first date: mm no

79. broken someone’s heart: yes :/

80. had your heart broken: yes ://

81. been arrested: lmao NO

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: yes lmao

do you believe in . . .

84. yourself: i try to !!!!!!

85. miracles: yes

86. love at first sight: no dude... that’s honestly such a dumb notion in my eyes

87. santa claus: um tbh i wish?? like every time i watch rise of the guardians i’m like “that is 1000% what santa would look like” and then i wish he was real

88. kiss on the first date: i wouldn’t want to, just bc i’ve never kissed anyone and i want to get to really know someone first bc i’m so nervous when it comes to things like that

89. angels: no, like i believe that loved ones who’ve passed on can watch over you but i think that’s different from angels

other

90. best friend’s name:  eva and kendall

91. eye color: hazel

92. favorite movie: i have millions....,,,,, the secret world of arrietty, monsters university, tangled, big hero 6, how to train your dragon, power rangers, ghostbusters (2016), the incredibles, teenage mutant ninja turtles 2, ratatouille, jersey boys, zootopia .... i’m forgetting a million but yeah. i love animated films, esp. disney/pixar

tagging

i’m literally not tagging 20 people but if i didn’t tag u and you wanna do this, pls pls go ahead and tag me in it!! also i’m soooo sry if i tag you and you’ve already done it/been tagged. anyway i tag: @bbysucculents, @yxonkook, @yoobin-nie, @missmarymoo, @escapaertist, and literally anyone else who wants to do this!! tag me in your answers <3

#ty again chim this was fun and ur answers were cute #I was tagged

[wayward-demons]

Game for Anything PT. 15

Word Count: 1,720 Warnings/Notes: N/A other than im sorry it took too long too post.  Tags: @crawegirl @nea90sweetie @littlegirlsdontplaynice @queen-of-moons-peace-out-bitches @gaysmutstiel @xolyssaaa @uruburock13 @lisa-horn @jencharlan @fangirl1802 @spn-4-eva @hey-um-misha ((if you want to be added to the list just let me know))

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 /  Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 

The bag around your head was making you feel claustrophobic. Your breathing was steady, but you could feel your heart racing in your chest. Your arms were tied behind your back, ankles tied to a chair below you. You tried to listen to your surroundings without moving, without giving any clue that you were awake.

You could hear footsteps around you, the soft breathing of a few different people. You could hear the faint whispers of people around you but nothing clear enough to make out what they were saying. You sat as still as you could, head laying low against your chest.

“How much longer we have’ta wait?” A male asked from your left. “Shouldn’t she be awake by now?”

“Shut up. She’ll wake up when she’s ready and then we can get started. We’re not going to force her awake.” His voice traveled around you, his footsteps light. This voice sent chills down your spine. A voice so familiar and yet so foreign. You almost couldn’t place it. It’d been so long since you heard it.

Now you couldn’t control your breathing, your chest rising and falling quickly. The bag around your head seemed to get tighter, the restraints suddenly hurting you as you sat there. You didn’t mean to move just yet, but you couldn’t help it now. That voice. It was making you move.

“Ah, looks like we don’t have to wait too long.” The voice said again. The bag became loose, and suddenly it was off your head. The light blinding you for a moment as your eyes adjusted. “Good morning beautiful. Have a good little nap?” He asked, hand cupping your chin and forcing you to look up at him.

You gulped, words unable to come from your mouth. “Yeah. I understand. It’s been a while. I’ll let you sink this all in for a moment. Go ahead, look around.” He stood behind you, hands resting on your shoulders.

You did as you were told, eyes scanning the room for a way out, except there wasn’t one. Instead there were just tall walls with no windows, walls lined with people. Everyone watching you, all waiting for you to react. Everyone looking hungry and wanting of you. And that’s when you spotted them. The ones that took Randy all those years back. They hadn’t aged a day, and didn’t look any different than that day.

“V-V-Vampires?” You asked, eyes finding the one familiar and warm face from before. “What is going on?” You asked. Your voice back to normal.

“Oh, come on, you have to be able to put this one together. You’re a smart girl. Use that beautiful mind of yours.” He tapped his finger on your head. Each press getting harder and harder until it started to hurt.

You didn’t move, lips pressing into a thin line. It didn’t take long for you to understand, after all his face hadn’t changed at all either. He still looked like the young and beautiful Randy from before. The last time you saw him though, he was being pulled away from you by the Vamps in the corner. The ones snickering and laughing as you once more glanced around the room.

“How’d you find me?” You asked.

Randy laughed, “We’ve been casing the joint for a while. You were bound to turn up again. Especially after all those sad and pitiful phone calls.” He pinched your cheek waiting for it to turn a nice rosy pink. “It’s okay. I can understand. You were just so heartbroken about losing me. I mean wasn’t everyone?”

“Fuck you.” You spat at his feet. And suddenly the whole room started to laugh. “Fuck all of you. Let me out of here before… before…”

“Before what Y/N?” Your name came out so velvety smooth, just like it had so many years ago. Only this time it didn’t make your heart flutter, instead it made your stomach spin and the feeling of vomit coming up. “Before your partner comes in to save the day? Oh wait, you don’t have partners anymore.” He laughed to himself, walking around and getting on his knees in front of you.

He raised a hand to trace your chin, eyes focused on your own. His touch was gentle, and for just a moment you forgot all the years he’d been gone. It was like you were back in time with your best friend. The one who picked you up and bounced you around. The one that would force you to go to the gym only so he could stand around while making you work your ass off.

And then reality sank in. This wasn’t then. He wasn’t that guy. You were tied to a chair and he was a vampire. Everything was different. And he was right. You had no one to come and save you. You were alone. Only you could get out of this mess.

You had already counted the Vampires in the room. Knowing that you could take them all on, you’d taken on more before. It was Randy. He was the only thing stopping your brain from calculating a plan. His eyes still on yours as if he was memorizing your body all over again.

“You really should have gotten out and stayed out when you had the chance. Hunting hasn’t been easy on you. I can see the years of stress already taking their toll.” His thumb trailed along your cheek to your lips. “I mean you took off what? A month? Was that really all you needed to mourn the love of your life? Your best friend?”

“I never got over your death. Probably because you never actually died.” You spat the words out, trying your hardest to remain as calm and collected as you could. Not that it mattered, Randy was a vampire now, he could hear your heart racing in your chest.

Randy chuckled as he got to his feet. “Well, being a turned into a vampire was the best thing that ever happened to me. I mean look at me!” He spun around, hands out in front of him. “I look perfect. And oh Y/N, the perks! I mean sure you gotta drink a little blood. But all of this is so worth it!”

You crinkled your nose, disgusted by his flamboyance and utter acceptance of his new gift. This wasn’t who you knew, this wasn’t Randy.

You let your mind wander, trying to come up with a plan as Randy rambled on. The ropes behind you were tight, because Randy would have known you were able to get out of anything else. Your pockets picked and secret weapons taken so you couldn’t try and escape without their knowledge.

“Ah yes, you are starting to realize just how screwed you really are. No little knife in your pockets, no lighters, nothing.” He pointed to a little table in the corner where you could see all your weapons, all your tricks and gags. “I know your tricks Y/N, even the ones you think I wouldn’t. you haven’t changed much. Still the same old Y/N.”

You were annoyed.

“Guys, why don’t you leave me alone with her? We have a little catching up to do. After all its been what? 17 years?” Everyone seemed hesitant to leave, all remaining in their spots for a moment. A deep and husky growl sounded from Randy and everyone jumped to their feet.

After they left, in a door behind you that you couldn’t see but could hear being locked, Randy seemed to relax. His shoulders softening. He pulled a chair up to you, sitting down so he was at your level. He let out a deep sigh. “I do have to admit it was good to see you. I wish it was, well I wish it was a little different.”

He laughed and leaned back in his seat. “What’s your plan Randy? Tease me? Torture me? Kill me?”

“All of the above?” He offered, and a part of you was intrigued. But you knew better. You stood your ground and kept your face as still as you could.

You let your head hang low, growing defeated. “Let’s get it started. Or has it?” You looked up at him, and saw him flinch from the look in your eyes. “This small talk you seem to want to have is the torture?”

“Not at all little Y/N.” His voice was too soft, “I want to take my time with you. I mean its been so long why rush things? Tell me. How’s the life?”

You didn’t answer, instead you kept your mouth shut and in a thin line. Lips pressing hard together. Randy circled you, his cold hands dragging across your shoulders. It wasn’t until a knock on the door made the both of you jump that he stopped. His hand suddenly finding its home at his side. The person at the door didn’t bother to wait to be invited in. No, they walked in a moment later with boots clicking against the ground below them.

“Boss? Can I talk to you for a moment?” His voice was like you would imagine a snakes. Drawling out his words nice and slow. Randy gave a heavy sigh before he walked away, joining the stranger in the corner of the room behind you. You couldn’t see them, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t hear them.

They tried to whisper, but with this empty room it echoed. “Look they’re all talking. They don’t like the way you’re handling this one. They say you’re going soft and aren’t going to handle it like you should.”

“Handle it like I should?” Randy asked, and even you could hear the anger in his voice.

“Yeah, cause you know? You know her.” The stranger vampire emphasized that Randy knew you. But the silence afterwards is what sent chills down your spine. Because the silence was followed by the drop of the stranger vampire’s head.

You gulped, the sound was so familiar, and yet you’d never been so scared to hear it. Randy approached you, his hand covered in the blood of his fallen friend. “Seems I have a little mess to take care of. I’ll be back.”

With that he left you. Leaving you alone in the room with the fallen vampire.

(Pt. 16)

#Sam Winchester #Sam Winchester Fanfiction #Sam Fanfiction #Sam Winchester Imagine #Sam Imagine #Sam X Reader #SamxReader #Sam x reader fanfiction #Sam Love #Sam Fanfic #Sam Winchester Fanfic #Sam Ficklit #Dean Winchester #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fan Fiction #Dean Winchester Imagine #Dean X Reader #Deanxreader #Dean Winchester SPN #Dean Winchester Story #Dean Winchester Ficlet #Dean WInchester Prompt #Dean Imagine #Dean Fanfiction

[writingdreamy-blog]

Loss of yesterday, Looking forward to tomorrow ch 2

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Pairing: Rick/OC

Warning:

Note:

That night Eva cried herself to sleep on her father's side of the bed. The events of the night was too much for her to handle.

The next morning she awoke with an acute sense of nausea and a killer headache. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. What time was it? Why wasn't she woken up? "Ma!" she called out, maybe her mom was still in the house.

She was greeted with silence. As she shuffled around, she couldn't stand the sunlight and everything that accompanied the light of day. She considered the possibility of just not going out today, staying inside felt so much better than having to deal with people.

But the fact of the matter was, if she didn't make an appearance then they would send somebody to go find her.

She decided to dress in black, not like the Goth black but mourning black. She donned a black shirt and a black skirt. And to hide her tears she put on her biggest sunglasses that she owned.

Finally after a good twenty minutes she slowly walked across the lawn to the main house. She noticed there was a makeshift grave already for her dad, and new vehicles in the driveway… and the rest of Rick's group, they were a bigger ground that she imagined.

The first person she saw was a man with fishing cap, hi white scruffy beard showed his age. He greeted her with a warm smile and a pleasant good morning.

She mumbled out a 'morning' before she continued to the house. It was deathly quiet inside.

"What time is it?" she asked out loud to nobody in particular.

"It's around 10:15?" a voice called back. A woman with grey short hair stepped out of the kitchen, "Hi, I'm Carol"

She shook Carol's hand, "Evangeline" she replied with a curt smile and nod.

"Uh, I'm guessing you're Patricia's daughter?"

Eva nodded, "Well, we're almost ready for the funeral." Well of course she was stating the obvious.

"Yeah I saw." She didn’t feel much of a talking mood.

The awkwardness hung in the air for a few moments until Maggie came in, "There you are!" she said, taking a hold of Eva's arm. "Let's go, Patricia is waiting for you"

The three women walked outside, everybody was standing in a semi-circle, and Hershel was holding his Bible. Eva desperately didn't want to be part of this. The men had their hats off and Beth was the first to put a stone on the grave.

"Blessed be God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ" Hershel opened up, more people began to put stone on the grave.

"Praise be to Him, for the gift of our brother; Otis. For his span of years, for his abundance of character; Otis, who gave his life to save a child's."

Eva's shoulders shuddered as she was racked with silent sobs, she bit her lip to keep from crying and screaming.

"Now more than ever, our most precious asset. We thank you, God, for the peace he now enjoys in Your embrace. He died as he lived, in grace."

Maggie held a stone out for Eva to put out. She took the stone, and it felt so incredibly heavy in her hands, which in reality it only weighed about five pounds but to her, it felt like the whole apocalypse was truly happening, not just pretending. By putting the stone on the grave it made it final. There was no chance of getting her father back. She looked through her glasses at all the pained face, her gaze fell upon Shane… who was in deep thought.

"Shane, will you speak for Otis?" Hershel offered.

"I'm not good at it" Shane replied, almost sad, "I'm sorry." he finished.

Mom spoke up, "You were the last one with him, and you shared his final moments. Please. I need to hear, I need to know his death had meaning" mom begged.

I reached out and grasped her hand, she squeezed back. Trying to not let the tears fall as much as they were.

Shane stared at the mother and daughter team. They both looked absolutely drained. Shane couldn't see Evangeline's face as it was covered by sunglasses, but he could see the wet tracks down the side of her cheeks. Shane relented, "Okay" he shifted his stance, his lies flowing from his mouth once again, "We were about done. Almost out of ammo, we were down to pistols by then. I was limp'n it was bad. Ankle all swollen up, 'we've got to save the boy' see that's what he said." His voice cracked a little at the end for extra emphasis.

Eva clenched her jaw. If he died, she had not decided that she was going to find his body and put a bullet through his head, there was no need for his body to become the walking dead, she just needed that little extra push to let the dangerous thought to take seed. "He gave me his backpack, he shoved me ahead. 'Run' he said 'I'll take the rear, I'll cover for you' he said. And when I looked back…" once again Shane could not finish his story. He glanced at the girls to see if his story was plausible.

Mom looked at him through watery eyes, "Thank you" she whispered.

Eva looked down at her rock, and decided this was the time. Slowly she made her way to the rock mound and placed the rock on top. She then put her hand on the pile and sent up a quick prayer to God. She then returned to her mother's side. Shane followed after her to place another rock, and this time it was beside Eva’s rock, it was the only way that he could share his condolence without letting another lie slip.

He returned back to Rick and Lori's side, "If it wasn't for Otis, I'd never had made it out alive. And that goes for Carl too. It was Otis. He saved us both" he looked at the tiny family, "If any death ever had meaning, it was his" he nodded his head towards them.

Eva nodded, for now she was content to hear those words. However, the dark and dangerous thought was taking root inside her mind. If her dad had died there, well… she'd go to his death place and put him out of his misery. She would destroy every walker that was there in revenge.

The rest of the memorial went quickly, and little by little people left soon it was just her, her mom and Rick.

She was hugging herself, Rick put his hand on her shoulder. It was incredibly warm, she leaned unconsciously into his hand. "I didn't know him. But if you want to talk I'll be here" he offered, then left.

Eva stood close to her mom, "It's hard, I really expected him to return" Patricia said.

Eva hummed, "I should have gone with them."

"I'm glad you didn't go, I would die if it was you there with your father."

Eva nodded, she didn't dare tell her ma what had taken root in her mind. If she did, then undoubtedly they would lock her up, and probably keep an eye on her all day, if not for the rest of her life.

Eva gave her mom's arm a squeeze and left the grave site. The others began to talk about a little girl, she sounded like the biter child that they had found two days ago. Of course Hershel would never tell them that.

Rick wanted to go with, but Hershel refused to let him go with the group. Neither Shane nor Rick were going to leave the farm. Maybe Hershel would utilize her, it would be great to get off the property. She slowly walked toward the group.

"Can I go?" she asked softly.

Hershel shook his head, he couldn't send an emotionally distraught girl into the woods. "I can't let you go, need you here." he mumbled, he didn’t really want to tell her why.

"I guess I'm the only one left" a gruff man said. His crossbow slung across his shoulder. His vest clung to his body. "I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way back."

"I can still be useful" Shane spoke up, "I'll drive up to the interstate, see if Sophia wandered back."

Rick agreed with them, saying they'd set out tomorrow.

Rick's group felt safer with guns, Hershel had a strong opposition against it. Telling them that his group has survived without them thus far.

Shane tried to reason with Hershel, but Eva knew better, Hershel would not budge until something forced his hand, he had always been this way.

"With all due respect," Shane opened, "you get a crowd of those things wandering in here—"

"Look we're guests" Rick interrupted, "This is your property. And we will respect that" he said, while looking pointedly at Shane and with extra emphasis he put his pistol on the hood of the car that they were huddled around.

Shane followed suit and placed his pistol on the hood also, although he didn't look too fond of the idea. Rick took charge again, telling what part of the group that was there what to do. Eva watched Rick in amazement, not many people could command a group with relative ease like he did.

Eva to say the least was a little mesmerized by the power Rick gave off. Everybody listened as Shane asked if the girl was bit, would Rick's group be prepared to deal with it. Eva fidgeted, they had picked up a girl around Sophia's age wandering in the woods. She felt her chest tighten when she thought of the little girl.

The child was no older than maybe 12? She desperately wanted to blurt out that they had a child walker, but she could feel the pressure to be quiet to be much heavier, she noticed that Hershel was looking at her with a hard stare, of course he would want her to be quiet.

"If she's bit we can fix her right?" Eva asked.

Shane looked at her, he wanted to tell her that there was no being fixed. Coming from the CDC he knew in a way that there was no 'fixing' things.

Rick pondered the situation for a moment, "You'll do what has to be done" he replied almost in a coded way that only Rick's group knew.

"And her mother? What do you tell her?" Maggie asked.

Rick sighed and looked away, "The truth."

Maggie looked incredulously at Rick, as if the blunt truth would be horrible.

Eva frowned, she hoped Rick would show some sort of diplomacy on telling the truth.

"I'll gather all the weapons and secure them" Shane offered, "Make sure nobody is carrying till we get some practice off site."

Hershel let his gaze fall upon Maggie and Eva. He was very unpleased with this sudden change in things.

"I do request one rifleman on lookout" Shane continued. "Dale has experience" he offered. Andrea looked at Shane like he slapped her, to not offer her the job.

Eva bumped Maggie's hip with her hip, "If we take turns I nominate Maggie, she's pretty good."

Rick thought this over for a moment, "Our people would feel safer. Less inclined to carry a gun" he told Hershel.

Hershel nodded silently, Eva smiled at Maggie, and Maggie smiled wirily back. "Thank you" Rick said, he knew it would be hard to convince the old man.

Eva listened to the lull in the conversation, "Well, I'm going to go help Beth with lunch."

She heard Maggie ask about medicine that Rick's group brought back.

Inside Beth and Carol were chit chatting about anything and everything.

"I hope the authorities come soon, this will really interfere with my schooling" Beth commented.

Carol hummed, not really wanting to reply to the girl that nothing was going to save them, "You have a nice patch of land here."

"Yeah, been in my family for a while" Beth replied. Eva smiled as she joined the conversation.

"I baby sat Beth when she was just a squirt, she got into so much trouble!"

Beth blushed, "Hush Eva" she hissed playfully.

Eva stood by the sink, cleaning the odd and ends of things that was dirty. Her gaze rested on the locked barn. The queasiness that had settled in her stomach was enough for her to want to spill her guts but if she did she was sure Hershel would kick her out.

She thought about living life on the road, would she survive?

#The Walking Dead #Rick/OC #Rick Grimes #Slow Burn #Older Fic