#essays on the outskirts

[trashpandafeminism]

There's a new, free short story collaboration project starting on Substack Notes. If you have an account, make sure you follow or subscribe to see who is publishing next!

#substack #essays on the outskirts #writing community #free story

[eubybubble]

arguing with slytherin boys / pt.2

ft. Tom, Mattheo, Theodore, Lorenzo

warnings: curse words, mentions of abuse, addictions

Theodore Nott

You wanted to help Theo, really. His smoking wouldn't have angered you if he wasn't going through two packs in a day. It was genuinely hard to express your concerns without sounding like a parent or authority figure. But as you attempted to have yet another “serious conversation” with him, you initially thought it was heading toward success. Turns out you just misunderstood his mocking tone as softness and surrender.

“Ah, so you care about me? Answer me, amore, are you my mother? Then tell me, why do my habits piss you off that much?” he advanced towards you, slowly cornering you until your back met the cold wall. You closed your eyes in a desperate attempt to pretend it's a nightmare, hoped for it to end sooner and start again. But it was real, and Theo barely controlled himself “Am I not good enough for Ms. Perfect? My “addictions” shouldn’t worry you, can’t you understand?” His fist landed just an inch away from your face.

Tom Riddle

You decided to drop in and check on Tom since he hadn’t been talking to you for a few weeks now. He was busy working on some project. You made a cute lunch and even drew his portrait with watercolor. You couldn’t contain your excitement as you hurried to his room. What will be his reaction? Did he miss you too? Reality hit harder than you could’ve ever imagined. He eyed you and things in your hand with a little to no interest.

“Just how many times did I tell you not to disturb me? Not to meddle in my business? I don’t need it," he stated firmly. His words rang in your ears, and you didn’t listen much as he continued, “I was right, in the end relationships proved to be troublesome trivia. It was nice to know you. But now, leave.”

Mattheo Riddle

You’ve been avoiding him for the last few weeks after hearing rumors about his ties to dark organizations and massacre in the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Now, he was confronting you. Can’t really escape when he’s towering right above you in the middle of a dorm room.

“Are we even dating at this point? ‘Cuz i feel like I’m a fucking joke to you, not a boyfriend” Mattheo calmly stood in front of you, staring at you with eyes full of hatred “Little bird told me you’re afraid of me. Why, is it because my surname is Riddle? I thought you weren’t that dumb like others to judge me on my family relations which I don’t give a fuck about” he spat out the last words. His lips curled in disgust as he shoved a box full of your gifts and memories into your hands, leaving you dumbfounded in the solitude of your room.

Lorenzo Berkshire

The last few weeks have been tough for every seventh-year at Hogwarts. Tables were cluttered with heaps of homework and essays, and an unhealthy number of coffee mugs in common rooms weren’t surprising anymore. Amidst this academic crisis, your boyfriend was the most affected one. He had to maintain his top spot, not for himself but for his parents.

You were genuinely worried about him and tried to help him unwind a bit, but he consistently refused and distanced himself even more. When you suggested going to Hogsmeade, he suddenly snapped, growling in frustration

“Just fuck off. I have a lot to manage, and you're being a burden right now. Can’t you spend a minute without me?” He kept ruffling his hair and rubbing his temples in annoyance. “I need a break” He didn’t care to explain what break he needed and didn’t even look at you as he left the common room in a hurry.

a/n: yes, i like making people suffer and yes there’ll be part 2 with Draco, Blaise and Regulus

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #louis partridge #lorenzo berkshire imagine #enzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire #lorenzo berkshire x reader #lorenzo berkshire x you #draco malfoy #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott #mattheo riddle #mattheoxreader #tom riddle #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle x y/n #mattheo riddle x reader #theodore nott x you #slytherin boys #argument #harry potter fanfiction

[outskirtspress]

This Week’s Amazon Featured Book of the Week is Help Save America by Jon Lewis

This Week’s Amazon Featured Book of the Week is Help Save America by Jon Lewis

Now available on Amazon.com! Help Save America by Jon Lewis (5 out of 5 Stars – 1 Customer Reviews) Price: $13.95 Paperback Help Save America is a discussion of how America is in danger and what needs to be done to save it. There are examples of how actions are taking place to restore our great country. It is a goal of the author to make it happen. However, he can’t do it by himself. The role of…

View On WordPress

#amazon #book marketing #book promotion strategy #essays #Help Save America #Jon Lewis #market your self-published book #marketing #non-fiction #outskirts press #political science - essays #self publishing a book #self-publishing authors

[cryptixani]

jjk men cat cafe! au...

𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒑𝒖𝒄𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒇𝒆! 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒖𝒕𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒔, 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒆𝒏. 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍, 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒎𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒆...

a/n: hii, this is the beginning to a oneshot series i've decided to do for a couple of the jujutsu kaisen men, set in an au where there's no curses or sorcerers or any tragic horrible deaths and they all work at the same cat cafe! this is sort of an intro chapter to set the scene and introduce them, then i'm going to write a continued installment for each specific man. i've also opened requests for this au, so feel free to ask for further drabbles of smut or fluff for any of the guys featured if you like. <3

warnings: none. following installments will likely contain smut, and may also feature violence, mentions of violence, and/or distressing themes. absolutely none of it will be cat-related, for those that might be worried.

characters: satoru gojo, suguru geto, choso kamo, kento nanami, sukuna, mahito, toji fushiguro.

there was a new cat cafe that had opened, on the outskirts of the city centre - not far from where you lived. it looked really nice, actually. every time you had peered into it in passing, you had noticed the warm lighting and comfortable seats, how nicely decorated the place was and how much stuff there was for the cats - hidey holes and platforms and bridges and shelves and scratching posts, the list went on. it was clear the place took very good care of their kitties.

you had been meaning to go for a while, it was just a matter of time. your regular local cafe had been getting boring recently, and you were on the hunt for a new place to buy a drink, sit about and do work on your laptop in.

---

it was a chilly weekday afternoon when you had randomly decided to give the place a go. you had been out anyway, picking up a few essentials from some other stores - fresh deodrant, some some new socks, boring stuff like that. your laptop was in your bag anyway though, as you had been intending on taking your favourite spot at your regular haunt and spending a few hours finishing up some essay drafts with a nice hot cup beside you. coffee or tea, didn't really matter at this point, as long as it warmed you from this biting wind.

but then you had passed that cat cafe, and it gave you pause. you were overcome by a sudden urge to go inside - why not? your brain reasoned, you'll get to do your work with some cute kitties about.

so your turned on your heel and headed over to the glass doors. they were heavy, though you managed to get them open by yourself. stepping inside, you felt a rush of warm air surround you, which was an absolute delight after walking around in the cold.

another door greeted you, these ones less difficult to open. you figured having two doors was a safety measure, so the cats couldn't escape. smart.

now you were fully in the cafe, and you took a little look around. it felt different on the inside, bigger and cosier. there were plenty of nooks to set up in, and plenty of cats lazing around. the air was warm with a subtle scent of coffee and clean cat - fitting.

you were pulled out of your little daze by the sound of someone clearing their throat beside you. turning your head, you blinked as you realized there was a guy stood by the front desk, smiling at you. he had an undercut, the top of his hair dyed a bold pink that somehow suited him. he wore what you assumed was the cafe uniform - baggy pants and a plain t-shirt, all black, though a small logo of the cafe was embroidered onto the left side of the shirt in white. on the right side of the shirt, a little black badge with the name 'YUJI' printed in bold white lettering was pinned, a little lopsided.

"hii!" the young man greeted you politely, already fiddling around pulling out a small black binder and pen from behind the desk. "welcome to catpuccino cafe, i'm yuji! did you prebook your visit?"

"oh, no." you shook your head with a small smile. "just a walk-in. is that okay?"

"definitely. we're usually super quiet in the middle of the week." yuji replied, flipping through the binder briefly. "if you ever wanna visit on a weekend or during the holidays, though..." he whistled, setting the binder down facing you on a blank page, the pen on top. "...it gets super busy. anyway, just write your name, phone number, and the date and time please! is this your first time visiting our cafe?"

you nod and pick up the pen, quickly noting down the details yuji had asked for. once you were done, he put the binder and pen away.

"yeah, it's my first time visiting any cat cafe." you replied with a little smile.

"aw, that's great! i'm glad you chose ours, you'll love it here!" he grinned, and from the genuine enthusiasm he seemed to radiate, you couldn't help but believe him. he continued. "we have a small hourly fee we charge seperate from any food and drink. it's mostly to cover the kitties needs, stuff like their food and litter. most people pay for one hour, but since we're currently so quiet, you can do more if you like?"

you thought over his offer for a moment, before nodding.

"i think i'll do two hours, if that's okay? i have my laptop with me, so i wanna do some quiet work here too." you replied. yuji's grin widened, if that was even possible.

"sure!!" he nodded, rattling off the total whilst getting the card machine ready for you. you tapped your card and he checked that it went through before stepping out from behind the desk. he was definitely a bit younger than you, though he seemed well-exercised and energetic. he gestured for you to follow, beginning to lead you through the cafe to find you a good spot. as he did, he pointed out various kitties you both passed by.

"that little guy over there is piper, he's pretty quiet. oh, there's cinnamon!! she's super soft, and has the cutest little meow. there's jazz and jibe on that little shelf up in the corner, they're a package deal."

you smiled warmly as you followed yuji, your eyes following his gesturing at each of the cats. you were surprised at how well he seemed to know them all, though then again it also made sense - you were sure the workers here were responsible for the cats too.

finally, yuji stopped at a cosy looking spot in the corner. a comfortable looking armchair by a bigger table, not far from a pretty big cat tree. you could see at least three kitties lounging there already.

"this spot seems like it'd be nice to do some work in." yuji spoke, smiling. "feel free to get settled down, one of our servers should be with you soon. there's a little menu there on the table for you to browse. hope you enjoy your time here!"

with that, yuji was off, bustling back to the front desk to greet more customers coming in through the door. you sighed softly and smiled to yourself, glad that you had picked this place out already. between the cute kitties and the cosy, quiet vibes, it seemed perfect for a few hours of focus. you set your bag down on the floor beside you, blinking in surprise when a small tabby kitten prowled out from under your chair. it stared up at you curiously for a moment, sniffing your hand when you held it out before giving it a little nuzzle. after that, it pattered off, looking to find something new to do.

you straightened and smiled, watching the kitten go. adorable. next you pulled off your coat, pushing it down into the armchair you were sat in. your eyes flickered over the table, before spotting the menu yuji had mentioned. you picked it up, turning it over slowly. the cafe seemed to offer a variety of drinks and snacks, including little treats to buy for the kitties. for now though, you decided to pick something out for yourself.

between hot and cold teas and coffees, alongside even a few various hot chocolate and smoothie options, you felt spoiled for choice. though as you scanned the menu, you eventually settled on a drink choice that clicked instantly. it sounded perfect, and you instantly knew it was what you wanted to try. now just to order it.

you looked up over the menu, finally taking in the view of the cafe from your seat. you had a good angle, pretty close to the back so you could see the entire interior from where you were. there was a handful of fellow customers scattered around, most already with food and drink in front of them, talking or petting relaxed kitties. you looked for any servers, beginning to spot them throughout the cafe. as you glanced at each one, your brows furrowed slightly, the warmth surrounding you suddenly feeling a little more intense. you couldn't help but notice how every single one of these servers seemed to be tall, male, and tragically handsome.

oh.

one was currently taking an order, brows furrowed in concentration as he scribbled in his little notebook. his dark brown hair was tied up in messy twin buns, bangs framing his face. you squinted your eyes and swore you caught sight of a face tattoo. his all-black uniform, same as yuji's, looked a bit baggier, and he wore cargo pants instead of regular ones, along with heavy black boots.

another two men were chatting together in the corner idly. one had short, messy white hair and an idle smirk on his lips, dark rounded glasses sitting on his nose. his uniform was a bit more form-fitting, and he wore a black longsleeve shirt under the cafe logo t-shirt. the other man had long straight black hair, tied half-up into a bun with some loose bangs on one side of his face. his uniform was much more oversized, and he wore black baggy pants that tapered in at the ankle. he was listening to the white-haired man chatter, smiling slightly and nodding along, both men relaxed.

not far from the two, another man with short blond hair and green-tinted glasses was stood flicking through a binder, expression stoic and focused. his different uniform - still all black, but instead of a casual t-shirt he wore straight pants and a button-up with the cafe logo embroidered - seemed to indicate he had a slightly higher position. manager, perhaps.

you spotted two more men off near the back, by one of the doors. one had a haircut similar to yuji's, though he seemed taller and more muscular, his uniform tight around his torso. the other man had long, grey-ish blue hair tied in three sections by the ends. he seemed the leanest of them all, his t-shirt loose but his pants straight-fitted. they also seemed to be talking, though judging by the intensity of the pink-haired one's glare and the concealed venom of the blue-haired one's smile, their conversation didn't seem nearly as pleasant.

the door they were stood by was partially open, and through the small sliver you could see what you assumed was the kitchen where the drinks and food were made, seperated from all the cats. you just caught a glimpse of a man bustling about, tall and about as muscular as the pink-haired one with short black hair that fell around his face, black t-shirt tight and form-fitting.

mouth a little dry, you shift back into your seat and glance down at your menu again, processing everything your eyes had just seen. how the hell was this place so jam-packed full of testosterone? did every attractive man in this area just see the cafe opening and think, 'yeah, i'm gonna work here'? not that you were complaining, but this almost felt like one of those too-good-to-be-true situations. but it wasn't, it was real. and one of them was about to serve you.

holy shit, one of them was about to serve you.

you pull your phone out of your pocket quickly, heartrate picking up as the realization hit. using the black reflective screen as a little makeshift mirror, you do a quick check-over yourself. no smudges on your face or anything in your teeth... hopefully not. it was pretty difficult to see in the reflection on the screen. you ran a hand through your hair, trying to neaten it up a bit after how wind-swept it had gotten outside, when you suddenly hear a throat clearing right above you.

#gojo x reader #geto x reader #choso x reader #sukuna x reader #mahito x reader #toji x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #gojo satoru #geto suguru #choso kamo #mahito #ryomen sukuna #toji fushiguro

[bu-blegh-ost]

A short essay about how Caspian is mathematically not a mole (ep. 115 spoilers) (and for the whole series for that matter)

Okay, alright guys, I saw your concerns. I saw it all, and you are right to be worried that your favourite blue wet man's blue and equally wet best friend may turn out to be a traitor. And so am I, trust me. Which is why I went through every single bit of Caspian's past I could dig out to create an unltimate timeline of his entire goddamn life to see it it'd be plausible for him to become a mole at any point in time and ultimately prove his innocence! If that's something you're interested in reading, then buckle up!

"Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones. This is totally seperate from the Black-Ops situation that you learned about in the Stronghold. And you, in this book, can tell that there is a plant on Lizzie's crew."

This, of course is something I need to point out first. Whoever Lizzie's mole might be, they are not a doppelganger. They are not a clone, or Black-Ops, just a solider of the Navy, a person that must have gotten into the Navy via regular recruitment, be trained by them and then put into a spy division. Jay ofc had this entire process sped up, due to her grandma's influence, but no one other than her, especially an Undersea citizen, who would probably have to put in extra effort to be trusted given their shaky political situation few years back, would get the same treatment. What I'm trying to say, Caspian would need time, at least few years of training to become a mole they'd trust to infiltrate a crew, and not just any crew might I add. More on that later. Let's go back to his most early years for now. This is a fragment of episode 84 in which Caspian talks to Gillion abt his early life:

C: We all have family. I consider my life up here, this crew to be my found family. But my previous…tribe with the water genasi in the Undersea, where I was growing up…sort of in a [illegible]... remember me telling you about the outskirts? We um…was very nomadic, quite a, quite a peaceful, tranquil life, but it was always, you know…mixed with this life of poverty and my family wasn’t very…wouldn’t really have much but the water around us, and each other, I suppose, so uh…You know...I mean my mother didn’t make it past old age, and uh…

G: I’m sorry…

C: When my sister left the tribe, my father sort of fell into a depression of sorts and he stopped moving around. And when we stayed in one place, I was 18 or so, maybe 16, it was a while ago, and then…that’s when I left as well. Ventured to the Oversea, and um…and it’s history, so that’s my family. Not sure what they’re up to these days, I mean…I know my sister went to the capital, where you were.

G: Pirating is a pretty lucrative business, maybe if…we managed to find them or run into them, we can give something back, put them in a better situation.

C: …Well um…I mean this was 10-15, 10 to 12 to 15 years ago, quite some, quite some time, so I don’t even know if my father is alive still, I mean I don’t really have the desire to go back to the undersea, Gill.

G: Wha-why not?

C: Because I like my life up here. This is where I’m happy.

So, before we go to what all of that entails, one more quick crazy thing to mention: so, Caspian's sister is an Elder of the Undersea. Like for sure. This is confirmed by this part from ep. 79:

The Triton who you remember as the Elder Odolaf, who looks like he is about to speak, but is cut off by the water genasi, who has been doing a lot of talking thus far, who is Elder Celeste. They stand up and there is a familiarity that you notice now in their face. It’s like you have met them before, but not in the way that you know them because they are the Elder, but in a way that it’s like, they look like somebody you know. And she has sort of these uh, white tied-up like dreads that are tied up in like a bun and they come across the face and then one side is shaved. And there are beads and piercings in her hair, her ears are a little bit more sea elf-like in the way that they are pointed and they kind of like gradient into pink. They all kind of wear the same sort of ornate robes, though hers is more, I guess faded and like cut a bit, look a bit more warriorous, or like tribal, but still very well-made and professional.

Tribal clothing, a water genasi, that looks like someone Gillion saw before in the face. The only water genasi Gillion met after leaving the Undersea is Caspian. Elder Celeste is Caspian's sister. Wild. Anyway, not what we're here for, but I needed to mention that.

The crazier thing is that Caspian left to Oversea when he was 16-18, and it has been 10-15 years since then. That means Caspian is currently 26 at possible youngest, and 33 at his oldest, which was surprising to me, I did not imagine Caspian as a man in his 30s! But that's straight up facts, so holy shit, you know?

Okay, so I'm going to list a lot of small facts that determine a lot of ages in quick succession. I hope it's not gonna be too scary to look at, I'll simplify it all at the end. [Deep inhale]

Right now Gillion is 22. So when Caspian left the Undersea, Gillion was 12-7. Jay is 21 and Ava was 2 years older, same age as Lizzie. So Lizzie is 23 now. When Caspian left the Undersea, she was 13-8. Chip is 19, so Lizzie is 4 years older. Hole in the Sea happened when Chip was 9, so Lizzie was 13. So Caspian left the Undersea around the same time Lizzie crashed on the uninhabited island with Chey after the Hole.

It's a lot, I know, I know. So let me clear this up a little.

Hole in the sea was 10 years ago. Chip was 9, Lizzie was 13. 10 years ago Caspian was in the age between 16 and 23, and he left the Undersea when he was 16 or 18. So roughly at the same time the Black Sea happened, Caspian came to the surface for the first time.

(also pls note that we are talking in estimates, casue in ep. 36 Lizzie says she was 11 when the hole happened, but in ep. 101 she says she was the same age as Ava which by the power of math would put her at 13. Either way, somewhere around that age)

After that, Lizzie spend some time on an uninhabited island with Chey, the Black Rose cook, who sacrificed herself for Liz, so she could survive and died shortly after. We do not know how much time passed, but I assume no longer than few months, and after that she was saved by Captain Shadowbeard where she met Caspian. They were a part of Shadowbeard's crew, Caspian saved her from the massacre where Shadowbeard was killed, and then Lizzie went on to create her own crew, Grandberry Pirates with Caspian never leaving her for a second since he met her. That means that the only time Caspian could have joined the Navy would be RIGHT after he came to the Oversea for the first time, roughly at the same time Lizzie was stranded on an island, and in that short period of time (between Lizzie's crash on the island and her being found by Shadowbeard) he would have to find the time to be trusted and accepted by Navy, get trained specifically for infiltration AND infiltrate not anyones BUT FUCKING SHADOWBEARD'S SHIP. Not a NEW crew. A crew of one of the most legendary pirates on the sea. Cause before Lizzie, Caspian was Sadowbeard's crew member, and since then he never stopped being a pirate, so if he was a solider, he would have had to be one before Shadowbeard. And remeber what Grizzly said in 115: "Jay, you come from a division of soliders that were purposely put to infiltrate pirate crews, especially the new and upcoming ones."

Shadowbeard was not new. Not upcoming. He was dangerous and Navy must have had the balls of steal to send a rookie solider, which Caspian would have been at that point in time, to infiltrate him. The numbers say it's impossible. Guys, the numbers! They don't add up!

Anyway, so basically Caspian could not be a mole. He is not a new pirate, he was not a member of a fresh crew, becaue his pirate journey did not start with Lizzy, it started with Shadowbeard. Grandberry Pirates is a new crew, but Caspian is not a newbie in it. You know who is? Rudith. I mean what kind of doctor lets a bunch of rowdy pirates have a secret base under a place where sick and vulnerable rest??? Like ANY other place would have been better and more respectful! Also you know what's interesting? Gillion could heal these people with lay on hands easily, and yet the only thing Rudith did for them was give them potions that didn't seem to help and look after them on purely non-medical level. Bro didn't do shit. Like, why would you even become a doctor without having access to healing magic? The answer, you are not. You are a Navy solider in disguise.

Okay, okay, I'm done, that's all. If you got this far, you are a hero, thank you for reading this insanely long ramble, but that's kind of the conclusions that I came to, of course, any counter-theories and discussion in general is very much welcome! I'd love to hear your opinions! Love you guys, bye~

#jrwi riptide #just roll with it #jrwi #gillion jrwi #gillion tidestrider #caspian jrwi #jrwi caspian #elizabeth lafayette #lizzie jrwi #riptide spoilers #spoilers #jrwi spoilers

[punksocks]

To Tame The Untamable: Lilith & Obsession:

*just based on my experiences, only take what resonates

**This is more so the like analysis portion, for synastry & placements that trigger obsession see part 2

Black Moon Lilith is fascinating. Even in her presence in your birth chart, she’s less of a planetary body and more of a philosophical (I.e. mathematical) point. She’s elusive and hard to pin down, and yet her influence is permeating. Similar to how Scorpio placements bleed through a birth chart like ink bleeds through paper. Lilith has a distinctive presence (Lilith’s energy is especially felt with hard aspects- square/opposition/conjunct to the angular houses -1st,4th,7th,10th).

Lilith is so weighted yet so elusive, and that is definitely a cornerstone of why she triggers such obsession in others. Even in her original mythology, her husband, Adam, couldn’t control her - and she was made for him ! There’s something inherently rebellious and hard to categorize about the impact of her energy. She’s dark, sultry, and heavy. She’s the eternal antithesis of the traditional feminine. Because she’s always sitting in this outsider energy, there’s an inherent challenge to power that is attached to her presence.

There’s something shocking about what she brings to the native’s energy. She swings in extremes so that people with heavy Lilith placements are often derided for being so outside of the norm. Too s*xy, too opinionated, too smart “for their own good”, for having too much of a strong impact in general. The reality of the situation is that Lilith is here to show you how to live outside of a traditional lens and embrace this energy you already have. She’s here to help you step into your power (while keeping your approach balanced and not over indulging in it, of course).

…So… what’s the deal with the men?

I had to restart this paragraph like 3 times lol. From the top, we live in a society ! Lol

Social roles have certain social rules depending on cultural structures. I often wonder what all of this, all of these dynamics would look like if the gender fluid or the matriarchal societies didn’t get so eroded by colonialism but obviously that’s an essay for another day lol. The dominant culture is a not so distant run off of conservative religious power structures. So as a result, our sort of default social standards are set to be white, patriarchal, heteronormative, and many other strict social categories in line with those ideals. The more you culturally align with these ideals by default the more power you tend to have. And, through a sort of simplified lens, to be socialized within, or at least in closer proximity to those ideals can create a curiousity about those on the outside. Those who cannot and do not align with those defaults have this something else. Something else about how they exist in the world, sometimes on the outskirts, does compel people that are committed/used to living within these strict categories.

There’s something about people with that outsider energy, that exude this inherent wildness that sort of captivates the attention of those that don’t have it. Like an it factor with a bit more darkness attached to it. I think there’s a power in like finding your identity outside of these circles. And when any sort of feelings come into play it can make things more volatile. I think the grip that Lilith tends to pull on guys lies in the power dynamics at play in many relationships in -patriarchal- society. If she’s uncontrollable does that mean you have any power at all? It can be dizzying to be vulnerable in a relationship and lose any of the power/control you’ve had your whole life (I assume lol, I’ve never been a man and they know how I feel about them lol).

I think that’s why relationships tinged by Lilith energy/synastry can quickly become a lot. A lot of passion, a lot of drama, a lot of vying for power. When you’re a femme, much of your social power lies in your attractiveness (even when it comes to stuff that should be neutral like getting a job, or getting a fair chance if you get in trouble, etc). And I think it’s so interesting that Lilith has such a strong effect on the girls. She makes you attractive and gives you power but makes you damn polarizing and makes the power you have into this double edged sword.

On the flip side (Mm yes very 90s of me), this is just shadow side energy. Which is to say Lilith doesn’t make anyone do anything. Her energy just exposes the other side of people (all people, but that’s another essay for another day). If a man, any person really, was going to have positive intentions towards you Lilith energy wouldn’t warp this. She just shows you the darkness some people try to hide. If you’re dating someone and they try to cross your boundaries and get controlling after the second date- this was always going to happen, they just were compelled to try to box you in earlier than they may have intended with someone else.

But yeah in summary, Lilith triggers obsession in others because entitlement. Whoever is acting this way had those controlling and obsessive tendencies all along- it was just brought to light. And when someone shows you who they are, take it from me, it’s best to listen.

Disclaimer: 1. This is a generalization of how things can go, not how they always have to go, so yknow grain of salt 2.With great power comes great responsibility, stay safe out there y’all :0 3. Ok so we live in a society lol, and so we have a lot of social conventions we tend to be used to by default. Romanticize even. And I definitely think obsession is one of those conventions. Desire can be enticing. To want to be wanted. But if it’s taking over your life? I don’t think that should be aspirational. I think everyone wants someone to be obsessed with them until they actually are then it’s this wild uncontrollable thing -and frankly that’s terrifying. (We’ve seen the show You right? It tends to go bad lol.) Live your life ofc, just be careful not to romanticize ab*sive/controlling tendencies in others because it’s unhealthy at best and dangerous at worst. Just my two cents.

(Also omg this whole thing took me so much longer to write than I intended lol, thank you so much for the support everyone <3!)

#astro observations #astro notes #astroblr #astro community #astrology #lilith astrology #astroloji #lilith culture #lilith aspects #lilith

[jams-sims]

I wrote a whole ass essay for Philza now Im gonna do it for Jaiden. In defense of the lack of content with Jaiden in it (real quick). Being an old goat of fandoms I can explain it (don't worry this won't take long and also it plays into her character's overarching narrative of a grieving mother.) Plain in simple women in Minecraft are notorious for getting shit on by the collective fandom. (Everyone has to take part in making sure that it stops happening.) She is mainly a YouTuber which makes a dissonance between mainly youtube viewers and Twitch watchers. So it's harder to catch her just because you have to go to another site. Also, she doesn't stream as often as everyone else. This makes for a lack of content, just because Jaiden is just a low-key person. This is the recipes for a lack of content BUT that does not excuse people who are being weird to her or think she's in the way of any ships etc etc.

BUT

Narratively speaking all of those things above make for perfect storytelling. (below the cut I go deep into Jaiden character I mean I go DEEP)

Even though Jaiden has the support of the whole island. At the end of the day- she goes back to that same house. Climbs to the very top and she fall asleep on the chair facing the sunset. This means that everyone else has moved on, especially Roier. She is forever stuck in that same place.

I can't be the only one who noticed every single stream, she logs out at the house. BY HERSELF (I think Roier built? Someone corrects me if I'm wrong.) It's so subtle that you wouldn't even notice it at first.

When asked where she was living by Etolies. She doesnt say her and roier house, she doesn't even say where bobby use to live. She specifically says " I am squating in Roier old house". She puts herself on the outskirts of what is further from the truth. Shes not squating in roier house im 100% sure Roier shares everything with her. It is her home too!

Next when it came to the marriage between cellbit and Roier. She was surprised that she was even invite. Its as if as soon as Bobby died all her friendships and relationships died with him. No matter how many people are around her she has this ice wall of isolation and deep lonely-ness.

Her grieiving is less theratical than Charlies its so sudtle that you can miss it. While Roier throw himself into drink and into a relationship. (Which has admitedly worked out in his favor. He gets a husband a new son, a world of love. Something that can lessen the sting of Bobbys death.)

Jaiden on the other hand threw herself into a a impossible task, "protect the eggs." She doesn't know anything about any group or fractions. That is her only wish and the federation saw that and picked her to use. She has nothing everyone else has seemingly moved on of course. They haven't stopped investigating but they death of Bobby mostly everyone has moved on. Besides Jaiden this is her driving force so no one will suffer like she did. (on a side note her and Charlie should team up for lore and to both work for the federations.)

ITS PREFECT! Oh are you greiving has everyone else seemingly moved on? Your friendly neighborhood bear has a book full of instructions. Don't think, I'll guide you.

Before it fell apart the federation was going to secretly use Jaiden and she was going to do everything alone. But because Jaiden can't keep a secret to save her life. This leads to everyone realizing how at risk Jaiden is at being used. They are all with her in an instant. But part of her character is now that she sides with the Fedration and no one sees it yet. While everyone else think they are the bad guy. Her story is shifting because cucurucho is there, because cucurucho is nice to her, because Jaiden is cucurucho favorite.

She is being drawn in whether she knows it or not to be om their side. Think of it this way-

Fit is team: Spy thats off the island

Cellbit and Crew are team: AntiFederation

Jaiden the one that is left alone is the perfect choice to slowly pull her onto the federation side. It's perfect! The self isolation, the want to connect but feeling like she can't. It would be so easy for someone to take advantage of that.

#qsmp jaiden #qsmp #jaiden animations #qsmp cucurucho

[aflashbak]

An Irish Traveller and his cats, 1965. When Alen Macweeney returned to his native Ireland in the 1960s, after working as Richard Avedon’s assistant, he first intended to do a photo essay about W.B. Yeats. His research led him to cover another quintessentially Irish subject, one up to then neglected in photojournalism and Irish society in general. “In search of a tinker woman as a subject. In a sprawling field of caravans, shed, and horses on the outskirts of Dublin he found himself “immersed in the life of the people then called tinkers, but now more respectfully known as travellers, for the next five years.” From 1965 to 1971, Macweeney documented the lives of Irish Travellers, and in so doing, “without meaning to,” he eventually “became one of the foremost amateur anthropologists of Traveller culture,” a people invisible to most of his countrymen and women. From our story: Documents the Lives of Irish Travellers Outside Dublin in the Late 1960s #dublin #ireland #traveller #photo #portrait #1960s #travellers #irishtraveller #photograph #photographer https://www.instagram.com/p/CqFMztCMVv4/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#dublin #ireland #traveller #photo #portrait #1960s #travellers #irishtraveller #photograph #photographer

[crippleprophet]

Hey Mac! Do you have any crip books or resource recs for crip sex/sexuality?

Feel free to delete if you're uncomfortable answering :]

do i ever! i actually did an essay for my master’s in disability studies on the topic of disabled people’s access to sex so a lot of these are sources from that (feel free to dm me for my paper!) & others are things i’ve collected for leisure (hah)

i’m bolding my favorites and italicizing ones i haven’t read but have been recommended / have on my list; as with everything, having read a piece + recommending it is not an uncritical endorsement, & i have various contentions with all of these pieces ranging from minor nitpicking to outright disagreement.

feel free to send an ask or dm if you want my thoughts on a particular work or need help obtaining a pdf!

books

Sex and Disability ed. Robert McRuer & Anna Mollow

The Sexual Politics of Disability: Untold Desires by Tom Shakespeare, Kath Gillespie-Sells and Dominic Davies

Unbreaking Our Hearts: Cultures of Un/Desirability and the Transformative Potential of Queercrip Porn by Loree Erickson. York University, dissertation submitted 2015.

McRuer, R. 2006. Crip theory: Cultural signs of queerness and disability. New York: New York University Press.

Kinked and Crippled: Disabled BDSM Practitioners’ Experiences and Embodiments of Pain. Emma Sheppard. Edge Hill University, dissertation submitted 2017.

Love, Sex, and Disability: The Pleasures of Care by Sarah Smith Rainey

intellectually disabled people / people with learning difficulties’ right to sex

Hamilton, C. A. 2009. ‘Now I’d like to sleep with Rachael’ – researching sexuality support in a service agency group home. Disability & Society. 24(3), pp.303-315.

Hollomotz, A. 2008. ‘May we please have sex tonight?’ – people with learning difficulties pursuing privacy in residential group settings. British Journal of Learning Disabilities. 37, pp.91–97.

Vehmas, S. 2019. Persons with profound intellectual disability and their right to sex. Disability & Society. 34(4), pp.519-539.

Significance of the attitudes of police and care staff toward sex and people who have a learning disability by A. Bailey & D. Sines. Journal of Learning Disabilities for Nursing Health and Social Care (1998), 2(3), pp.168-174.

sexual facilitation & making sex accessible

Bahner, J. 2016. Risky business? Organizing sexual facilitation in Swedish personal assistance services. Scandinavian Journal of Disability Research. 18(2), pp.164-175.

Linda R. Mona (2003) Sexual Options for People with Disabilities, Women & Therapy, 26:3-4, pp.211-221.

No Pity Fucks Please: A critique of Scarlet Road’s campaign to improve disabled people’s access to paid sex services by Tova Rozengarten and Heather Brook. Outskirts vol. 34, 2016, pp.1-21.

Julia Bahner (2013) The power of discretion and the discretion of power: personal assistants and sexual facilitation in disability services, Vulnerable Groups & Inclusion, 4:1, 20673.

BDSM, paraphilias, & alternative sex

Goldberg, C. E. 2018. Fucking with Notions of Disability (In)Justice: Exploring BDSM, Sexuality, Consent, and Canadian Law

Hollomotz, A. 2013. Exploiting the Fifty Shades of Grey craze for the disability and sexual rights agenda. Disability & Society. 28(3), pp.418-422.

Reynolds, D. 2007. Disability and BDSM: Bob Flanagan and the case for sexual rights. Sexuality Research & Social Policy. 4(1), pp.40-52.

Tellier, S. 2017. Advancing the discourse: Disability and BDSM. Sex & Disability. 35, pp.485-493.

Sheppard, E. 2018. Using pain, living with pain. Feminist Review. 120, pp.54-69.

Tyburczy, J. 2014. Leather anatomy: Cripping homonormativity at International Mr. Leather. Journal of Literary & Cultural Disability Studies. 8(3), pp.275-293.

Sheppard, E 2019, 'Chronic Pain as Fluid, BDSM as Control' Disability Studies Quarterly, vol. 39, no. 2.

other articles

Finger, A. 1992. Forbidden Fruit

Fritsch, K., Heynen, R., Ross, A. N., and van der Meulen, E. 2016. Disability and sex work: developing affinities through decriminalization. Disability & Society. 31(1), pp.84-99.

McKenzie, J. 2012. Disabled people in rural South Africa talk about sexuality. Culture Health & Sexuality. pp.1-15.

Shakespeare, T. 2000. Disabled sexuality: Toward rights and recognition. Sexuality and Disability. 18(3), pp.159-166.

Shildrick, M. 2007. Contested pleasures: The sociopolitical economy of disability and sexuality. Sexuality Research & Social Policy. 4(1), pp.53-66.

Wentzell, E. 2006. Bad bedfellows: Disability sex rights and Viagra. Bulletin of Science, Technology & Society. 26(5), pp.370-377.

“‘Like, pissing yourself is not a particularly attractive quality, let’s be honest’: Learning to contain through youth, adulthood, disability and sexuality” by Kirsty Liddiard and Jenny Slater. Sexualities 2018, Vol. 21(3), pp.319–333.

non-academic texts

Andrew Gurza’s blog - andrewgurza dot com / blog

Disability After Dark podcast

A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability by A. Andrews

Cripping Up Sex with Eva

my cripsex tag, which i’ll add to this post, has other relevant content, & i welcome any additions from folks! all the best to you 💓

#asks #reading lists #cripsex

[cry-ptidd]

Where does Laura's fixation on nuns come from? Seems to be a recurring motif in artwork and fiction you have made for her. Is this intentional? 👀

90% intentional! The rest 10% is honestly just vibes.

The main reason is because of Laura's relationship with religion and sexuality.

She was raised in a Christian household and was extremely devout as a human, and planned to keep her chastity intact even if she was the eldest daughter (already making her kind of an exception in the traditional family dynamic). It stemmed half from her being a lesbian (and not knowing that that was a thing) and half from just her faith.

As for her fixation with nuns specifically, it's mostly because of her trauma.

Having been abused sexually by men of faith and top that with her already repressed sexuality, when she gave in to her lycanthropy she basically let go of all her inhibitions and previous anxieties. It also resulted in her being hypersexual in general, and her drinking despite not being able to get drunk is also an idea of that hedonistic, feral attitude.

She sees sex as a power play or a pastime. It's not meaningful in any way to her anymore. It's not about love, it's not about intimacy. But to a Christian woman? Oh it is quite meaningful.

When she sleeps with nuns (or married women also), she uses it as a way to insult God and to mock their faith and human societal values. She sullies the pure just like how she was sullied, not by force but my seduction, making them willingly give in to her.

She sees nuns as the pinnacle of faith and chastity in women, so of course they'd catch her attention. It's also a form of self-loathing in a way, like hurting and manipulating the innocent woman (Laura could've easily become a nun in her human life) she used to be over and over again for no reason other than boredom.

It's her coming back to her trauma again and again in a way where she is in control this time, infiltrating and seeping through the cracks to not cause an uproar because those incidents will most likely be swept under the rug like how many religious groups will do just to save face in a place where God sees all.

It's the idea of a contrast; a pure, devout virgin and a feral, depraved creature, one living in the outskirts of society and the other outside of it, both suspected because of misogyny and how they don't adhere to gender roles in the most traditional sense of the word.

There is an excellent video essay about nuns (inspired by The Nun (2018)) that I highly recommend you guys check out, it's less than 10 minutes and extremely informative. I also recommend checking out the creator's other videos because they are amazing.

#ask response #laura chastel #my oc #hellsing oc #long post #character analysis #tw mentions of sa #tw unhealthy relationship #<< just in case #the misandry isn't a lesbian thing that's just her #the predation also isn't a lesbian thing that's just her again #she's just fucked up #also if you want a good nun horror movie. #watch Sister Death (2023) #it's a prequel to Verónica (2017) #and very good

[winonaparadise]

short story 💯

wrote a very quick story about a class i took in college. if you like my writing in my videos you may like this

Five years ago today I was clawing through state university. I had switched majors in an effort to come away with something more material from my college experience – but I was also trying to earn as many credits with as few courses to keep my schooling short and cheap.

I took a heavy weighted class in “media law.” A subject notoriously as intricate as it is absolutely fucking stupid. Anything you could learn, Disney will change tommorrow. The professor was an adjunct, splitting his time between the humble basement where boys with Pulp Fiction posters in their dorms fiddled with cameras and the actual law school where he was employed some miles down the road. I have never seen Pulp Fiction, but I’ve fiddled with enough cameras and enough of the boys who own them to have reviewed it twice. This is not a problem to me now.

Then I was stupid. Twenty. And basically friendless. I spent all my time trying to make something the same way the universe spent billions of years pouring hot soup into holes and hoping life would bubble out. I studied Japanese during quiet matches of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds. I never got a win, and I never got an “A” in Japanese.

Weeks of school went by as I skimmed textbooks, got high, and thought about talking to literally anyone. Academic words danced around the edges of my brain like sand. I wrote essays on the same autopilot I write today. Feverish. Flowing. Fantasizing about what it would be like to go out with someone instead of texting a girl who now lived in Japan and making ramen noodles while listening for footsteps in a digital warzone.

I did all my work. I submitted it on something called “canvas” that the muscle memory in my fingers still types in search bars to this day. I never checked my grades. I knew they were bad.

Classes dragged me through the week on a bungee cord. I lived a block away from the bulk of them and found myself drifting in halls of buildings I’d never attended just to keep myself from meandering back home to draw a bad comic about a girl who lived in hell. 

I knew nobody. I went nowhere. I struggled to do classwork alone on outdoor benches dreaming of someone speaking to me. I needed to live in hell instead.

My media law professor was late the weekend after our first term essays were due. I don’t know what mode of transportation he took to get from one school to the other but today the Carolina sun had drenched him sweaty. We were chilly waiting for him to begin.

“Just about every single one of you failed.” He spat and chugged coffee through the entire period. “While I first was grading I thought I was the one who failed.”

He didn’t let the moment of respite last. “But I also did something I’ve never done before.” He paced like my father did when a restaurant was closed early. “I gave out my first perfect score. Which prevents me from grading on a curve.”

He huffed, he assigned a new reading, and he rushed out like he had lit dynamite. “Do better!” “What an asshole.” The girl who sat next to me in every class spoke as if she had been holding her breath. “Fuck him and fuck whoever got that hundred.”

“I know right!” I launched in on her anger, feeling it too. Back and forth we complained. We walked off campus together. She had long blonde hair and towered over me. I had felt ugly and mousey next to her, but today I felt like her equal. It felt good to bitch.

“I got a fucking 50. What about you?”

“It wasn’t pretty.” I recalled how I stayed up the night before the assignment was due. I milked bullshit into a puree. I got a rush of adrenaline from killing someone with a shotgun through a door in an abandoned house on the outskirts of Pochinki. I was probably close to being expelled. “This class is too fucking hard,” she smoked and shook her head by a bus stop on Tate Street. “I’m not about to lose my freetime over it.”

“Right.” I imagined her at parties. Black silhouettes against colored lights and deafening music. Like The Social Network. “We should be partners for the next assignment,” she got out her phone and passed it to me for my number. I typed it in. I waved her off on the bus. We did the assignment together. We texted each other about our studies. We joked about finding the guy who got the perfect score and beating him senseless. I thought about talking to her about my art or what we were making in other classes, but never did.

Towards the end of the semester I had to plan the next. A whirlpool churned in my stomach as I clicked on “grades” on my campus’ online portal. I had an A+ in a single course. 

Media Law.

My friend from class texted me that she was dreading the final. I texted her that if we failed I would kill Mr. Perfect Score. She texted “lol.”

She passed the course. I got my degree so I assume I did too. We stopped texting.

That professor emailed me asking me to take a course at the law school down the road. He said he would let me sit in and see if I wanted to change majors a third time. I never replied.

A law degree would just make Mr. Perfect Score a hundred times more punchable.

#short story #nonfiction #drugs cw

[trashpandafeminism]

[Image Description: Image is the three-headed dragon meme. The image is labeled “Essays on the Outskirts Posts”. First dragon is a tough dragon labeled “AI Waifu”. Second tough dragon is labeled “Breaking News”. The silly dragon is labeled “Stitching and Bitching”.]

Hey everyone, just wanted to take a moment to talk about the content I share on here. While a lot of my articles cover important topics and current events, I also like to mix things up with some fun and lighthearted pieces. Life isn't all doom and gloom, after all!

So whether you're here for serious discussions or just looking for something to brighten your day, I hope you enjoy the variety of content I share.

Here are the links to the posts I mentioned in the meme:

A Man Built An AI Waifu, And That Should Worry You

Breaking News: The 5 Top Stories You Need To Know About

Stitching and B*tching: My Latest Crochet Projects

#intersectional feminism #disability #writing #life #essays on the outskirts #substack #crochet

[bokunosoul]

Hiiii ur head canons are literally so good could u make an actual story for the undertaker one from ur “Black Butler men as cliché love tropes pt. 2” post?? It’s too good😏

Once upon a Victorian love story

AN : Oh god this request was like 2 years ago, im so sorry i had a writers block and an unmotivated self ): So i hope this long one shot will be acceptable.

Warnings : This was before undertaker becomes a funeral director, typo errors, reader is sent bac kin the 1800s, angst, past lovers au, abuse, messed up shit in the era, death, im using "adrian crevan" as undertaker's name for this au but it's not official yet (only a theory)

I was sitting the the bus for what seems like eternity now. It was the day of the most awaited college fieldtrip for your history major, everyone is exempted in the finals. Except you need to join this trip and write a thousand words essay to pass.

“Hey y/n!” i turn my head to my friend Samantha who is my seatmate for this trip. "Just in time!" she was panting heavily and i sighed. She was always like this, a last minute go'er kinda girl.

A minute later the professor started doing a roll call for each students---everyone was present. After that the bus started hitting the road, i turn to the bus window and just grabbed my airpods on and listened to some music to pass time whilst watching the view.

Two hours later, we arrived at the outskirts of London. The road was getting narrow and narrow as it reaches the misty forest. Crows flock and squawked around the huge gate of the museum which gave off an mysterious aura at the place. Intriguing.

The huge rusty gate opens automatically and your classmates started filming the place as the bus enters the museum. It has amazing landscape and a castle-like exterior that was well maintained. It was amazing on how it was preserved for 150+ years.

"Ah, Mr. Brown! welcome! welcome!" an elderly man wearing a butler's outfit greets our professor. They seemed to be well acquainted with each other as they hugged each other.

Samantha drags me away in front of the students gathering which a tour guide was calling the attention of all the students. "Welcome to the Phantomhive museum students of the University of England! I am Oliver Smith your official tour guide for this trip." he says and continues making a speech on how about this museum is actually a manor back in the victorian era, where a earl used to live in.

The tour guide leads the steps to the museum and the huge oak doors were already opened, inside it was a floor filled with black and white marbled floor, Greek columns, ceiling decked with lighted chandeliers that made you look in awe, paintings hanged up on the wall on top of the dark oak grand staircase.

You followed the guide upstairs again, which led to a dimly lit hallway which the only light source is the windows. I took out my camera and took photos of several victorian artifacts to document and write about.

After that, the tour guide let us roam around the manor but gave off an warning on prohibited activities such as trespassing the locked rooms, touching the objects and a bunch of other stuff. I walked away and looked around which i ended up suddenly seperated from my friend.

Being bored, you decided to just wander around the museum. You suddenly felt a familiar presence, you stopped and look directly at the gigantic painting encased in gold on top of a fire place. There was a man whom dressed in black holding a scythe of death with a peculiar look of smile on his face and a woman on his side who seems to be in a casket laying beautiful in white.

You found yourself looking the the masterpiece intensely "She is beautiful as always even in her last breath." i turn to look at beside me, it was a man with ominous black hair, maybe a bit older than you and was wearing a butler outfit radiating an peculiar aura. Maybe he's another tour guide? i said to myself

I just stood there frozen feeling a wav of familiarity and longing whilst looking at the painting "Adrian Crevan, he used to be the lord Phantomhive's informant. Well, we prefer calling him 'Undertaker' because that was he's known for. Handling corpses and being a funeral director." the man chuckled, and he turns to look at you and smile.

I just stood there frozen, my mind started go hazy and a sharp pain came crashing in your head and unknown memories started coming back from the past.

It all turned black. That's what i remembered.

Somewhere in the 1800s. --------

"Lady y/n, it's time." my maid Laura says behind me. I sighed and turned around to see her holding a whale bone corset. I raised my arms and let her put on the garment which makes

It was my mother's funeral and i have no energy on whatsoever to dress up and even think right. You did not even need this corset anymore because you don't have the appetite to eat. After finishing on putting on the mourning dress and veil i went outside where my carriage was already waiting, with my father inside it.

He was stern looking as always, but behind that façade of his you knew that he was ecstatic. Afterall he lost all the dignity after taking your mother's last name which made him feel emasculated which resulted to him---having affairs, abusive and absent.

My mother was a weak woman, i must admit. She was bound to die before reaching the age of 40 due to her having pneumonia. Despite this, even when she was sick, she was the one guiding you throughout my childhood. When her body can't take it anymore i was getting guidance from my aunt who is my governess.

At just 37 years old before my 18th birthday, yesterday, she passed away peacefully at night. Right here you could not even cry and remain emotionless, all this was not easily to process in just one day. You were in denial.

I just stood there watching my father shed crocodile tears at his speech on how my mother was a loving wife to him and a bunch of other nonsense that happened to them that did not even happened.

Everyone else was crying pathetically. She was born to die, why would anyone be this surprised? An hour later after the mass, your mother's coffin was brought to the cemetery to lay rest beside her late parents grave.

You just watch it get dumped in with the soil and the mourners throwing a white rose as it gets buried. I walked off as i threw the flower on it. My body felt heavy as i feel my tears started swelling in my eyes and i took off running to hide in the cemetery's nearby garden.

I started hysterically crying eventually falling down on my knees whilst clutching a portrait of my late mother. You could only thank the rain and thunder for now as no one can hear your wailing.

"My, my why is a lady doing here crying alone?" a voice mixed with teasing says. I turn around to see a man with long ash hair wearing a long black suit with glasses.

I sniffled and just wailed again and again until no tears started to come out of my eyes and i just sat on the ground numb from all of the pain while the man just stared at you blankly.

You started getting pissed off as he stares at you "What is your problem, why are you staring!?" i growled at him, he laughs and mumbles an explanation that you could not understand and i stood up and stormed away.

He grabs your hand and gives you something out of his pocket which seemed like a chain. I turn to him and opened my palms. My eyes widened at the sight "T-this!...."

"Your mother asked me to give this to you as a keepsake." the man says, his face stoic. Meanwhile i looked at the locket with my late mother's hair on it emotionally and smiled. Your father did not allow you to keep a memory of your mother, hence burning down all of the photographs, paintings, letters and clothes---every memory of your mother's existence.

The man started walking away "S-sir! wait!" i stopped him. He stops and turn around "W-what's your name?" i asked him stuttering. The man smiled "Adrian Crevan, the grim reaper." he says nonchalantly in a silly way that made you chuckle.

"Thank you, Mr. Adrian the grim reaper...?" i jokingly said while wiping my tears and bow at him in respect. He nods before walking away. You secretly hoped that you see each other again.

Two months later you started healing from the passing of your mother and going out more to balls that your invited too.

I stepped out of the carriage and twinkled at the sight of the beautiful mansion in front of me which belonged to the Duke who is part of the royal family. I stood in line of the guests infront of the door who are waiting for their names to be announced.

"Lady y/n of house l/n!" i thanked the man and stepped forward inside the hall wearing my lavish green silk ballgown and curtsied. Every woman stared me with envy, meanwhile men stared at me with lustful eyes.

This was normal since i was not betrothed to anyone at the moment and married men are taking advances with me to take me as their bride or mistress.

I greeted them respectfully but declined them, it was tiring. Honestly.

I found myself surrounded by women flaunting their riches at me. I wish I'd be deaf right now, it's annoying. You slipped away from them and took an glass of champagne from the table and walked towards the empty halls of the mansion just admiring the moonlight outside of the window. I flinched when i suddenly heard an loud thud near the empty grand staircase in the 2nd floor.

I walked towards where i heard the noise. You held your breath as you saw a young woman's body down the stairs, her head has pool of blood forming, and eyes in shock. I held my mouth as i saw the scene. I could not even move, i was frozen from my spot.

A man then appeared from the scene all dressed in black suit, long ash grey hair and glasses holding a scythe. I recognize that man! he was that peculiar guy from your mother's funeral that gave the locket!

He glanced at you but doesn't seem to care and just slashed the dead woman's body. I closed my eyes firmly at the sight. I took a bit of a peek, but instead of seeing a more bloody scenes it was different.

It was like a cinematic record, but not a movie---but someone's memories in their point of view. It continued on forever and ever until it reaches the end of the tape which has the word 'END' on it.

The reaper looks at you curiously "Why aren't you running away my lady?" he asks and folds the cinematic record neatly and put it into his pocket.

I was left speechless, am i going crazy?

"W-what just happened?" I gulped and he rests his scythe on his shoulders "I just reap people souls my lady, im what you called---death." he stated and grabs your waist swiftly and once you opened your eyes you were floating in the sky gracefully.

"Oh god! this is unsafe!" i screeched and held on to him tight not looking down on the ground since you're afraid of heights. A few moments in floating in the air you both landed on the ground.

He chuckled "Humans like you are really interesting, it's been a while Lady y/n~" he commented and kissed my hands, which made me blush. The man smiles at you and you two sat in an empty bench.

"w-WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" i asked, still in shock and shook the man, he started laughing "You just saw me doing my 'job' and flew!" h e replied.

I hold my head to process on what just happened, maybe i'm just too drunk? I asked him all of my questions on who, what, where, when and why---all of the possible questions. Well that lead to you to getting more interested in each other that birthed to friendship of a human and grim reaper.

Then a relationship a few months later.

You and Adrian are both happy with each other. Every after he finished his job you two would secretly meet up. He would tease you all the time and brought you on top of the big ben at London on a full moon to have a date. The man was also a clingy person who likes to see humorous stuff all the time. Even if he's not a normal person that doesn't stop you both, but this is the day you will finally introduce him formally to your father.

He was ecstatic and positive as you two both enter your manor to greet your father the Lord of house l/n.

"Father, meet my significant other Adrian."

Your father looked at him sternly and was silent, he just sat there and eat his roasted duck.

"F-father did you not he----." he threw the cutlery directly at adrian's face, making him bleed. The grim reaper did not flinched, not feeling any pain as the knife gashed his face leaving a slash "W-What have you've done!" i screamed as i took out my handkerchief and held it on his bleeding face.

"Did i not tell you to not go whoring off with lowly men like your slutty mother! YOU ARE A SHAME TO THE HOUSE OF L/N!" my father raises his voice making you flinch and your eyes swell up with tears.

"Y/n, i'm okay." the man stood up and frowns unamused "I can' t believe a man like you became my future wife's father." he says disappointed and held you close as his face was still bleeding.

"Future wife? are you joking!? Y/n you will get married to Lord Wallace in 5 months! are you crazy!?" father yells "I DO NOT WANT TO MARRY SOMEONE I DONT KNOW AND LOVE FATHER!" i retaliated and walked towards him sobbing.

Adrian stares at you in shock and pulled you away from your father who is forcing you to go inside your room.

"A-adrian...i don't want to marry someone else..." i sobbed in his arms and he clenched his jaw hugging you tightly. It was painful. I don't want this to end.

The last thing you knew was you two hugging on what seems like an eternity, you two both crying. He let's go of your hand and tried to chase after him but failed as your servants stop you chasing after your love.

He just walked away just like that. He just walked away on our relationship. He promised that he will come back after me. Determined. One week. Two weeks. Three weeks. Four weeks. turned into a month. Then five.

I found myself wearing my wedding gown holding a bouquet of white roses whilst emotionlessly walking down the aisle.

He promised that he will love me. He promised that he will marry me when the time comes. He promised that we will run away together. He promised...

It was painful kissing another man. Just get through it, and i imagined that my love was the one i was marrying. But it was harder than i thought. Disgusting. It was disgusting on how this man look at you like a doll full of lust.

'Ten years have passed. I still haven't gotten over my greatest love. I sometimes wonder on what if he came back to me. I'm turning 29 now, i have 2 boys now and a little girl whom i gave birth to just two months ago. Well, life was not easy, my husband was a good for nothing like my father who is a scandalous and greedy man who brought multiple women in our home. I still have hope that we will meet each other again.'

I closed my diary and hid it on my drawer. I hear my daughter, Adie crying in her crib. I quickly took her out from the crib and carried her to stop her from crying.

"Shhh, don't cry.." i kissed her rosy cheeks and laid her to the crib again admiring my precious child.

I sighed and went to get dressed to go to another soiree that my husband was at to accompany him "Lady y/n, your carriage is ready." the maid said behind the door. I grabbed my mink coat and went to the carriage.

It seems that it was raining heavily outside. I hope it's just rain.

"Mama where are you going?" your eldest son Andrew asks "Could we go with you mama?" Allan chimes in, my second eldest. I kissed their cheeks "I will go accompany your father at the soiree, my darlings. Children are not allowed."

They groaned and whined at your reply. You bid them goodbye and entered the carriage. Your husband was already inside and has his eyes glued onto the window, this was normal and doesn't even surprise you anymore.

The rain was getting heavier and heavier as minutes have passed. The carriage has entered the steep road on the way to enter the Druitt estate where the soiree will be held. It suddenly came into a halt when you the carriage stopped and the coachmen screamed in horror. I stared at the window and it was a group of masked bandits.

Wallace, my husband opens the window "Oi! why the fuck did you stop were going to be late!" he scolded the coachmen. Bang! Bang! the bandits shot the coachmen and footman. I held my breath and ducked my head, scared. I look over to Wallace and he was in fear.

The leader of the group comes over at my side "Lord Wallace eh? your wife is a beautiful woman!" he pulled your chin to your chin. I looked over at the man, disgusted while crying.

"H-how dare you kill Mr. Clark and jameson!" i raised my voice looking over at the bloody corpses of our two servants. "TAKE HER! SPARE ME SIR!" my eyes widened as my husband pushes me over at the bandit and took off with one of the carriage horses. I stared at the man in horror "Your husband really is a coward you know?" he chuckled and drags you outside of the carriage in the pouring rain.

BANG! The leader shot your husband through the head with his pistol. His body dropped dead on the mud and the horse he was riding gallops away into the forest.

"W-why? why are you doing this--" you felt a sharp pain in your chest as the man looks at you smirking and twisting the dagger in you. All you can see is blood soaked in your pink dress, the bandit snatches your jewelry in your body as you stared at him emotionless. He took out the dagger out of your chest and pushes you off the wet ground.

This is how will i die huh? What about my children.....my ambitions....my Adrian....i want to see him one last time..

"Y-y/n..." a familiar voice says. My eyes widened at the sight, i struggled to speak up words, i wish i could tell him how much i have missed him dearly, how i long for him.

He still looked the same as ever. Handsome, even with the scar your father left him in your face. I weakly flashed a smile at him as he hold me close in his embrace, sobbing.

"I....i-i....love..you..so...much..."

She speaks up holding his face, i leaned to him close and our lips met. For one last time on what seems like an eternity that you wished that could continue forever. The woman closes her eyes smiling peacefully as the cinematic record started playing.

He hugs her close sobbing under the rain angrily. He hates this. You and him were lovers, you were both forbidden to each other. If only he was a human.

-----------------------------------------------

I opened my eyes slowly "W-what happened?" i asked and turn to my friend, Samantha. She looks concerned at you "Y/n you collapsed at the 2nd floor, Mr. Brown found you and took you to the museum's clinic." Samantha sobbed and held your hand.

"I think im okay now, i want to go rest in the bus." i said and stood up from the bed, your friend nods and guides you to go back to your bus seat outside.

As you were going down the stairs Mr. Brown approaches you "Ah, Miss Y/N are you doing fine now?" he asks, i nodded and thanked him profusely for his help. He smiles devilishly and grabs something out of his pocket and gave it to you.

I looked at my hand. It was a locket, with a picture of you beloved and me.

"Memento mori, remember you must die."

A/N : I might revise this if i had the time, this was so rushed since i was so excited in posting these.

#black butler x reader #black butler #black butler scenario #kuroshitsuji x you #kuroshitsuji x reader #kuroshitsuji #black butler headcanons #undertaker #yana toboso #undertaker x reader #kuroshitsuji x yn

[stuckintheanimus]

König HC’s

König has a large scar on the left side of his face, currently saving up to have it surgically removed.

König grew up up in the outskirts of Vienna, I imagine in a pretty suburban area with middle class parents.

König’s name is Benedikt Krueger, but he goes by Ben for short (only Ghost is allowed to call him Benny).

His childhood nickname growing up was Ben 10.

König is a blonde with blue eyes, he has a roman nose with a scar that goes across it, and his skin is extremely pale from spending years in his bedroom all by himself.

König is very tattooed.

His body is littered with scars, which makes him feel super feel conscious, got into tattooing to cover up the scars.

König is a mama’s boy, he absolutely loves his mother, and he makes sure to call her at least once a day to check on how she’s doing.

I imagine his father (who is just as tall as him) would’ve been ex-military or worked closely with the army, has a deep admiration for his father and wanted to follow in his footsteps from an early age.

Grew up idolizing Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Owns a pet cat, who he babies a lot.

He and Sebastian Krueger are siblings, he’s the younger one. They have a younger sister.

Is a BIG nerd, and loves fantasy. Lord of the rings, dungeons & dragons, Harry Potter, etc. I imagine he’d have a collection of lotr and HP books also tabletop roleplaying games, yes, he’s into anime.

Bc of his social anxiety, he doesn’t like to go out to heavy public places. He already gets enough stares due to his height.

König was a very small, thin, and sickly child growing up, he would a lot of time in the hospital. As a result, missed out on a lot during his childhood (especially socializing).

Had braces in middle school.

Had undiagnosed ADHD, and wouldn’t receive an official diagnosis until his late teens.

König got bullied during his youth for being small and having social anxiety (also for having braces), he had a growth spurt in his teens causing him to be his current height and also started lifting weights around this time.

His new height had ups and downs, the bullying ceased (nobody wants to mess with a dude who’s 6’10) and brought him some confidence, but also brought a lot of unwanted attention, particularly from girls, a lot of whom were the same girls who made fun of him.

Wouldn’t have his first girlfriend until his last year of school/first year of University.

Was a very good student in school (had a side hustle writing other people's essays).

Studied Biochemistry at University.

Works out to Rammstein.

Isn’t exactly fluent in English.

He and Ghost are buddies, not best friends, but buddies, and they go out drinking once in a while.

Sends Ghost memes at 3 am.

Has a solid group of friends who he is still in regular contact with.

Lastly

Konig has gone as pyramid head at least once for Halloween.

#konig #konig mw2 #cod konig #konig headcanons #konig x you #konig x reader #konig hc #call of duty #fanfic #fanfiction #call of duty mwii #call of duty warzone #call of duty fanfic #call of duty hc #call of duty headcanons #konig has a name

[5mind]

Even without the need for absolute secrecy when it came to their secondary hideout, it was still uncommon for Fivemind to have anyone over. So when Chirptune heard voices that did not belong to any of the squadron bots from inside the shoddy little space, she just had to stop by.

Inside the repurpose maintenance room of the unfinished subway tunnel were two teenagers and the yellow ranger of the mechanical squadron. Chirptune recognised the teens, of course. The two of them frequently helped the mechanical squadron out with setting up hero shows. Also one of them was Bayfloat's resident magical girl. Dreamy Cloud Yadanar wasn't in her poofy cloud-inspired get up though, she's in a comfy hoodie and denim shorts. Next to her sat her twin sister, Thandar.

Both girls and Yellow Three were hunched in front of a sticker-covered laptop. Chirptune landed on Yellow's shoulder.

"Whatcha looking at?"

"Some youtuber." Yadanar answered. "He thinks he's got you guys all figured out."

"He's been making some real good points though." Thandar moves the cursor to display the title of the video - [ THE MECHANICAL SQUADRON'S SECRET || WHY WE SHOULD BE WORRIED - PART 1 ]

"No he isn't," Yellow Three interjected. "You know we aren't aliens."

"I mean, aside from that."

The little bar at the bottom of the video indicated that they were 20 minutes into the video essay.

20 minutes out of 2 solid hours.

The guy behind the channel weave05 was a scrawny young man, probably some college student with too much time on his hands. He was talking very excitedly and very fast. Yadanar and Chirptune both mentally deduct 10 points for presentation. Behind the man was an honest-to-god pinboard with thread in multiple colours crisscrossing each other in an convulated web of coincidences mistaken for causation. He actually had some good photos up there though - shots of Yellow Three at his part-time job, blurs of Pink circled in red marker, Red One in action, and so on. Hell, he even has a pic of Antares who was somehow caught in that one bigfoot footage pose.

"Y'know you guys should sue him for defamation or something," Yadanar commented as the video essay started going off tangent into suicide cases around Basalt and Bayfloat. The guy on the screen was very convinced this particular suicide case was actually a murder.

Thandar scoffed, "With what lawyer?"

"I dunno, I'm just saying."

"Chirptune could be a lawyer!" The bird was already starting to get bored with the video. "Chirptune has played Ace Attorney."

"Ooooh, which one?" Yadanar was also starting to get bored with the video.

"Hey," Yellow Three spoke up. "How did he get that footage?"

The video seemed to have swung back on topic, now displaying footage of the mechanical squadron's red ranger inside a cave. Must have been taken a couple weeks ago when Red One took shelter from rain in one of the natural caves on the outskirts of Bayfloat.

"Probably with a drone," Thandar offered.

"Red One would have noticed," the yellow unit countered. "We are aware of most models currently in the market."

"Maybe it's a super new one?"

"Maybe." Yellow Three placed a hand on his chin - a learned gesture. "Not a flying drone."

"Huh? You can tell?"

"Camera moves too wrong for a flier." Fivemind was actually more focused on the visuals of the video than what the theorist was saying. This fucker had been spying on them. But to what extent? "It's terrestial."

"Uh huh..." Thandar on the other hand was actually listening to whatever the hell the theorist was cooking (someone get this man out of the kitchen). They were getting to the good parts.

The video was barely halfway through. The theorist got up on a stool to dettach the pinboard from the wall. He then replaced it with an even more convulated looking pinboard.

Yadanar and Chirptune had long disengaged from all this, they're just talking about videogames now. Thandar's eyes widened with interest. Yellow Three leaned in closer to the screen trying to scan every photo on that pinboard at once.

And now for the next 73 minutes of part 1 of a 9 part , and ongoing, series.

#[ fivelog ] #[ encounter : dreamy cloud ] #[ encounter : thandar ] #[ encounter : some fucking youtuber ] #[ ic : chirptune ] #[ ic : unit yellow three ]

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(i understand i am late to the own impromptu fic-fest i am only half modding, but its the heart behind it that counts.

presenting my submission to: Harry Buys Sirius Presents ft. Remus (and also They Can Be Jewish) Fest.)

--

It was almost worse when Harry knew the answer for once wouldn't be no. That was one of the first things Harry learned about Sirius when he came to live with his godfather. Sirius rarely said no.

Potpie for dinner? Yes.

A day at the seaside? Yes.

Help with a Charms essay? Yes.

Harry's world had blown wide open with all the yes's slowly learning how to navigate a guardian who was kind and cared. And if Sirius ever said no, it was for a good reason. It was to keep him safe. When Sirius said no it was because he loved him, truly, not out of spite or bitterness or greed the way the Dursleys had told Harry no.

And this particular request, Harry knew would be a yes. Sirius wouldn't even blink.

Because the second thing Harry learned after coming to live with Sirius was that his godfather loved to spend money on him. He had asked for pocket money once that term before the first visit to Hogsmeade and Harry swore he could feel the room shake with how quickly Sirius reached into his pocket, pulling out all the galleons he had and pressing them into Harry's hand. Only to be followed by another small satchel of galleons coming through post the next morning, landing on the breakfast table with a thud.

Sirius was generous.

Sirius was kind.

Harry only wanted to return the favor. Which is what he was thinking, as he stood on the outskirts of the sitting room door, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hand, absently wondering if he could just tear it in half because merlins sake it was hot in here, wasn't it? All the fire and the wood burning, the house was warm, and Harry was sweating. About to ask his godfather for money to go Christmas shopping shirtless.

"Alright there, Harry?" came a gentle voice from the side of him and Harry was surprised he didn't jump. Having gotten used to being in a house with two people who didn't yell or scold.

"Just great," Harry said feebly, pulling his sweaty hands away from his shirt and looking towards Professor Lupin--Moony. Remus? Professor Moony. Harry hadn't quite figured out what to call him, every time he attempted an odd sort of combination of all three names spilling out-- Proony. Remessor.

"Are we spying on Sirius for a reason?"

"He does weird things when he's alone...hums made up songs."

"He's always done that," Remus said fondly, casting a glance into the sitting room where Sirius was tidying away, a soft hum of a made up song carrying above the crackling wood fire. "We used to make fun of him for it. Did it in exams too, and James and I would take turns elbowing him."

Harry couldn't help but smile, nerves disappearing a little, "I think he's alphabetizing books..."

"I can't elbow him out of doing that," Remus mused, his hands going into the pockets of his trousers as he leaned against the wall, "Whatever it is you're going to ask him, Harry, I'm--"

"Thats the problem, see."

"Sirius?"

"Mhmm."

"Well...I'm not Sirius."

Remus wasn't Sirius.

"...Do you think you can help me get to my vault?"

--

Christmas morning arrived, after Harry had spent hours waiting for Sirius to go to bed so he could steal wrapping paper from the closet downstairs. Up until that moment, Harry had never found it annoying that Sirius seemed to be awake nearly all the time, his godfathers presence providing a sense of security that Harry never had. But it was pretty damn obnoxious when Harry was attempting to be sneaky, trying to do something nice, and his godfather was around every corner. Putting finishing touches on cookies; setting a timer for the roast in the morning; adding more presents under the tree.

But despite how tired he was the next morning, Harry couldn't help but lean into the joy spreading throughout Number 12. From the records playing, to the sticky-buns Sirius had made for breakfast, to the gifts that Sirius and Remus had thoughtfully picked out and bought just for Harry.

"Should we go have lunch?" Sirius said, clapping his hands together and making to get up off the sofa. "I don't know about you but all this Christmas cheer is making me starved and considering I was once in prison, I think I'm an expert at--"

"You're comparing eating three hours ago to Azkaban?" Remus asked at the same time Harry opened his mouth to say,

"I have one more thing!"

More blurted.

Sirius looked toward Harry with small smile, "One more?"

"For...you," Harry managed, before pulling out a horribly wrapped box that had been hidden behind a stack of couch cushions the duration of the morning, Harry panicking every single time Sirius got too close. It's a fort! Harry had offered as the worlds worst excuse, but Sirius didn't question it.

"You didnt need to get me anything, love," Sirius said gently, looking at the box in front of him, "I'm happy just to be here."

"I know I didn't but...I...did anyway, so you might just have to...deal with that."

Sirius snorted out a laugh before running his fingers underneath the seams of the paper, followed by the cardboard box.

A pair of patterned purple socks.

Because Harry remembered when Sirius saw a dark purple coat in the store at Diagon Alley and said what a great color

A blank journal.

I've just run out of pages in my old one, remind me to pick one up, would you, babe?

A book.

Oh this was my favorite to read when I was your age

A wrench

I need more tools to keep fixing up the bike, I thought I had a box somewhere...

What did you get person who gave you everything?

Harry wasn't sure. But he knew he remembered everything Sirius had once said he liked, taking notes on his favorite person the way Sirius had apparently taken notes on Harry.

Sirius looked down at the collection of items now open in the cardboard box, before slowly looking towards Harry, smile as wide as the ocean on his face.

"I love every bit of this."

#presents for padfoot #operation santas got a brand new bag #ficmas