#operation santas got a brand new bag

[greyeyedmonster-18]

(i understand i am late to the own impromptu fic-fest i am only half modding, but its the heart behind it that counts.

presenting my submission to: Harry Buys Sirius Presents ft. Remus (and also They Can Be Jewish) Fest.)

--

It was almost worse when Harry knew the answer for once wouldn't be no. That was one of the first things Harry learned about Sirius when he came to live with his godfather. Sirius rarely said no.

Potpie for dinner? Yes.

A day at the seaside? Yes.

Help with a Charms essay? Yes.

Harry's world had blown wide open with all the yes's slowly learning how to navigate a guardian who was kind and cared. And if Sirius ever said no, it was for a good reason. It was to keep him safe. When Sirius said no it was because he loved him, truly, not out of spite or bitterness or greed the way the Dursleys had told Harry no.

And this particular request, Harry knew would be a yes. Sirius wouldn't even blink.

Because the second thing Harry learned after coming to live with Sirius was that his godfather loved to spend money on him. He had asked for pocket money once that term before the first visit to Hogsmeade and Harry swore he could feel the room shake with how quickly Sirius reached into his pocket, pulling out all the galleons he had and pressing them into Harry's hand. Only to be followed by another small satchel of galleons coming through post the next morning, landing on the breakfast table with a thud.

Sirius was generous.

Sirius was kind.

Harry only wanted to return the favor. Which is what he was thinking, as he stood on the outskirts of the sitting room door, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hand, absently wondering if he could just tear it in half because merlins sake it was hot in here, wasn't it? All the fire and the wood burning, the house was warm, and Harry was sweating. About to ask his godfather for money to go Christmas shopping shirtless.

"Alright there, Harry?" came a gentle voice from the side of him and Harry was surprised he didn't jump. Having gotten used to being in a house with two people who didn't yell or scold.

"Just great," Harry said feebly, pulling his sweaty hands away from his shirt and looking towards Professor Lupin--Moony. Remus? Professor Moony. Harry hadn't quite figured out what to call him, every time he attempted an odd sort of combination of all three names spilling out-- Proony. Remessor.

"Are we spying on Sirius for a reason?"

"He does weird things when he's alone...hums made up songs."

"He's always done that," Remus said fondly, casting a glance into the sitting room where Sirius was tidying away, a soft hum of a made up song carrying above the crackling wood fire. "We used to make fun of him for it. Did it in exams too, and James and I would take turns elbowing him."

Harry couldn't help but smile, nerves disappearing a little, "I think he's alphabetizing books..."

"I can't elbow him out of doing that," Remus mused, his hands going into the pockets of his trousers as he leaned against the wall, "Whatever it is you're going to ask him, Harry, I'm--"

"Thats the problem, see."

"Sirius?"

"Mhmm."

"Well...I'm not Sirius."

Remus wasn't Sirius.

"...Do you think you can help me get to my vault?"

--

Christmas morning arrived, after Harry had spent hours waiting for Sirius to go to bed so he could steal wrapping paper from the closet downstairs. Up until that moment, Harry had never found it annoying that Sirius seemed to be awake nearly all the time, his godfathers presence providing a sense of security that Harry never had. But it was pretty damn obnoxious when Harry was attempting to be sneaky, trying to do something nice, and his godfather was around every corner. Putting finishing touches on cookies; setting a timer for the roast in the morning; adding more presents under the tree.

But despite how tired he was the next morning, Harry couldn't help but lean into the joy spreading throughout Number 12. From the records playing, to the sticky-buns Sirius had made for breakfast, to the gifts that Sirius and Remus had thoughtfully picked out and bought just for Harry.

"Should we go have lunch?" Sirius said, clapping his hands together and making to get up off the sofa. "I don't know about you but all this Christmas cheer is making me starved and considering I was once in prison, I think I'm an expert at--"

"You're comparing eating three hours ago to Azkaban?" Remus asked at the same time Harry opened his mouth to say,

"I have one more thing!"

More blurted.

Sirius looked toward Harry with small smile, "One more?"

"For...you," Harry managed, before pulling out a horribly wrapped box that had been hidden behind a stack of couch cushions the duration of the morning, Harry panicking every single time Sirius got too close. It's a fort! Harry had offered as the worlds worst excuse, but Sirius didn't question it.

"You didnt need to get me anything, love," Sirius said gently, looking at the box in front of him, "I'm happy just to be here."

"I know I didn't but...I...did anyway, so you might just have to...deal with that."

Sirius snorted out a laugh before running his fingers underneath the seams of the paper, followed by the cardboard box.

A pair of patterned purple socks.

Because Harry remembered when Sirius saw a dark purple coat in the store at Diagon Alley and said what a great color

A blank journal.

I've just run out of pages in my old one, remind me to pick one up, would you, babe?

A book.

Oh this was my favorite to read when I was your age

A wrench

I need more tools to keep fixing up the bike, I thought I had a box somewhere...

What did you get person who gave you everything?

Harry wasn't sure. But he knew he remembered everything Sirius had once said he liked, taking notes on his favorite person the way Sirius had apparently taken notes on Harry.

Sirius looked down at the collection of items now open in the cardboard box, before slowly looking towards Harry, smile as wide as the ocean on his face.

"I love every bit of this."

#presents for padfoot #operation santas got a brand new bag #ficmas

[seriouslycromulent]

The Results of My Night Court re-watch (More Larroquette gushing)

Hey folks! I'm back with a (final?) update on my Night Court re-watch. I know you were waiting with bated breath to see how it turned out. /sarcasm

I managed to knock out all 9 seasons on Freevee in about 2.5 weeks, and it was a nice little trip down memory lane combined with some new episodes that I didn't remember at all. Not that I'm complaining. I liken it to finding a couple of extra french fries you missed at the bottom of your McDonald's takeaway bag. Technically, they were always there, but hey, they're new to you, right?

Anyway, while I was watching, I kept a tally of my favorite episodes over the 9 seasons, with a special focus on the one and only Mr. Larroquette. Since he was the reason I was re-watching the show, it made sense that my list of faves heavily favored him. (The overall list also favored Roz, surprisingly. I liked her character the first time I watched the show, but I don't think I appreciated how much character development they gave her for the era this TV show appeared in. But that's a different conversation.)

So I thought I'd share my final results of my re-watch for anyone who hasn't seen the show and wants to, but they're really only watching for the awesome-ness that is John Larroquette.

Although I don't encourage you to only find joy in John's performance (because everyone is quite good and the show was well-written for the majority of the time it was on the air), this is just in case you're someone who would say: "But I only want to see the best of Dan Fielding, so what episodes do you think I should watch?"

Here is that list ... in 2 parts.

Part 1 focuses on Larroquette's dramatic skill as an actor. Sure, we all know he is talented as hell, but I think what really stood out to me was how well he could deliver a great monologue or manage to wrench empathy from you even when Dan was being completely abhorrent.

John will probably always be known for his comedic skill -- covered in Part 2, but you will note that my list for his top dramatic episodes is much longer. And I think that says something.

---

So without further ado ...

The "Dramatic Chops" list includes episodes I think give the audience a chance to see the depth of Dan's character beyond the constantly wheeling and dealing, sex-obsessed scoundrel he appears to be on the surface. We not only get to see Larroquette show that there's more to Dan than the image he projects, but it also allows the character to grow a little, proving that he is indeed capable of growth.

Part 1: Top Dan Fielding episodes - Dramatic Chops

Married Alive (s2, ep19) -> Dan's relationship with an heiress is deeper than everyone thinks

Best of Friends (s3, ep6) -> Dan's close friend is transgender

Dan's Boss (s3, ep7) -> Dan butts heads with his new boss, who is a little person

Dan's Escort (s3, ep12) -> Dan moonlights as an escort & receives an indecent proposal

Dan's Operation, Pt. 2 (s4, ep6) -> Dan comes out of a coma & admits why he's afraid of turning 40

Paternity (s4, ep19) -> Dan may be a father

No Hard Feelings (s5, ep8) -> Dan turns down a high-powered job where sexual favors are expected

The Constitution, Pt. 2 (s5, ep10) -> Dan saves Roz when she goes into insulin shock

Danny Got His Gun, Pt. 2 & 3 (s6, ep1 & 2) -> Dan lives with an Inuit family after his plane goes down near the Arctic Circle

The Law Club (s6, e7) -> Dan gives up joining an exclusive law club to save Christine from a creep

Strange Bedfellows (s6, ep17) -> Dan falls for Joan, his electoral opponent / Dan finds real love

For Love or Money (s7, ep6) -> Buddy gets married and Dan hits rock bottom

Branded, Pt. 2 (s7, e10) -> Dan gets a job as a waiter while he's suspended pending an investigation

A Family Affair, Pt. 2 (s8, e2) -> The aftermath of Dan's sister and Bull hooking up

To Sleep, No More (s8, ep19) -> Dan's insomnia gets the better of him and his conscience

Santa on the Lam (S9, ep11) -> Dan convinces a department store Santa to keep living

The "Comedic Chops" list is pretty much what you would think. These are episodes that I think really showcase how great Larroquette is at comedy. I mean, pretty much the entire series is a showcase of that, but these episodes really stand out as a cut above the rest. In short, if someone said they didn't find John particularly funny, I would use this list to support my argument that he has a gift for comedy.

Part 2: Top Dan Fielding episodes - Comedic Chops

Hurricane, Pt. 1 & 2 (s3, ep21 & 22) -> A childbirth class is stranded in court & goes into labor all at the same time

Earthquake (s4, ep9) -> Dan is trapped in an elevator with Roz & 2 wrestlers

A Day in the Life (s4, ep15) -> The team must clear 200 cases before midnight

Passion Plundered (s7, e11) -> Dan and Harry compete for the attention of a romance novelist

A Night Court at the Opera (s8, ep9) -> Dan tries to seduce Harry's girlfriend

Guess Who's Listening to Dinner (s9, ep6) -> Dan dates a mob boss' daughter

And this, just for the helluva it, is my list of what I think are the best overall episodes featuring Dan or where his contribution to the ensemble definitely made the episode a winner overall.

My Top 10 Favorite Dan Fielding episodes

Dan's Escort (s3, ep12) -> Dan works as an escort & receives an indecent proposal

Dan's Operation, Pt. 2 (s4, ep6) -> Dan comes out of a coma & admits why he's afraid of turning 40 (This has one of my favorite scenes John has ever done on the show. If you've seen the episode, you know the one.)

No Hard Feelings (s5, ep8) -> Dan turns down a high-powered job where sexual favors are expected (When he stands up for himself, rattles off his career record, and insists he deserves more than to be someone's boy toy, you will want to rewind & watch it over and over again.)

The Law Club (s6, e7) -> Dan gives up joining an exclusive law club to save Christine from a creep

Strange Bedfellows (s6, ep17) -> Dan falls for Joan, his electoral opponent / Dan finds real love (I really loved this episode and was sad that we never see or hear from her again.)

To Sleep, No More (s8, ep19) -> Dan's insomnia gets the better of him and his conscience (The scene at the podium was both hilarious and heartbreaking in equal measure. You just want to give him a hug by the end.)

Hurricane, Pt. 2 (s3, ep22) -> A childbirth class is stranded in court & goes into labor all at the same time

Earthquake (s4, ep9) -> Dan is trapped in an elevator with Roz & 2 wrestlers (His fear of confined spaces is really well played. The perfect balance between humor and pathos.)

A Night Court at the Opera (s8, ep9) -> Dan tries to seduce Harry's girlfriend (John just stole this whole episode. It's easily one of his best performances in the entire run of the series.)

Guess Who's Listening to Dinner (s9, ep6) -> Dan dates a mob boss' daughter (The physical comedy throughout this episode was just hilarious!)

Honorable Mentions:

The Blizzard (s2, ep10) -> Dan is trapped in an elevator with a gay man who hits on him

Hit the Road, Jack (s5, ep13) -> Dan becomes friends with Christine's dad when he retires

A New York Story (s9, ep13) -> Dan is a beauty pageant judge for Ms. Transit contest

OK. That's it. I know it's another really long post, but to praise Mr. Larroquette is a honor, not a duty.

Please feel free to tell me what your favorite Dan Fielding-focused episodes of Night Court are. And if you have any questions about why I chose what I chose, don't be afraid to ask.

#john larroquette #night court #dan fielding #fandom

[curious-minx]

Denis Leary is making an animated vignette series based on Dogs Playing Poker and 10 Other Pieces of Kitsch Art That Should Be Turned Into TV

KITSCH auction house tremors and stampedes.

Dennis Leary basically discovered sex, drugs and rock n’ roll with his 2015 two season FX series Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll. Leary’s always been one of those guys that can’t be beaten down  in spite of how dopey and cynical his edgy working class personal brand is. He’s got an entire deal set up with Fox, the flailing broadcasting company has placed all of their chips on a Denis with only one lousy  “N” in his name. I can’t even with this fake Irish Bostonian droid. Relish in the delicate thought process of Leary and leftover former Daily Show producer, Jim Margolis,  bringing up a Pinterest screen grab of the Dogs Playing Poker by Grand Master of Kitsch Cassius Marcellus Coolidge and money signs popping out of both of their heads. Here is a dramatic retelling of this thought process:

“Yo, get this Big D,” salivates the recently fired from Netflix Jim Margolis to Leary over a Zoom, “Fox got this Bento Box Animation Studio sitting around doing nothing but churning out animated interstitials for the Masked Singer, Paradise PD, The Prince, The Blues Brothers animated series, animated Harold And Kumar, Housebroken, The Great North, and ugh..um..Hoops..”

“I fuckin love Hoops, Jimmy! Why aren’t we pitching this on Netflix again?”

“Because Dogs Playing Poker is going to work so much better as pregame filler for live Sporting Events...on Fox.”

“Oh yeah. All of those rotten good for nothing grease monkey and lunch pail people will probably be giving each other Budweiser flavored Covid at the local saloon with these damn dog pictures hanging up. It’s like when old drunks would stay out late and watch the Flinstones at the bar, did you know that actual human male adults would sit in a town like Boston and waste away in a bar watching Flintsones. Can you believe that Johny?”

“My name is Jimmy, err Jim, but yeah Denis we’ll send you the scripts over. Any idea who we should cast?”

“Get me the hot blonde from Inspector Gadget 2, God dammit I miss Louie..are we sure we can’t get Louie back on air?”

“Afraid after Patton Oswalt dognapped his role from him in Secret Life of Pets, Louie CK has been banned from ever appearing as a talking dog again.”

“So bogus. Bobby Kelly will have to do.” Denis gets a text. “Dammit, Adam is getting all thirsty for this juicy  delicious bone. Gotta throw a  big bone to my dog Ferrera. Who else?”

“Ok. I’ll get one of those sad Daily Show losers. Um picking one at random, Roy Wood Jr. They’ll pretty much jump into anything, because John Oliver was in Love Guru they start thinking they can fail their way up.”

“I said no politics at the table! Paws off the table! This is going to be so fucking lit!”

////

Kitsch Art deserves so much more. George Lucas, retired American filmmaker, robber baron of childhoods and all around  mensch has been heavily invested in the kitsch art of Norman Rockwell. There are a bounty of stories to tell. Too many of them are far too white and basic, but there are rich narratives to be found in his out of date even for his own time romanticism of The Old Masters. Hopelessly out of date could have been a failing of Rockwell, but his politics grew progressive as his career went on and fought against the system. Cassius Marcellus Coolidge is the man that operated the first bank in Antwerp, New York  had the astronaut-like grace to wonder, “what if dogs played poker like people played poker?” A painting that dates back to 1894 used as means to sell cigars. What strikes me most about this painting is that they aren’t wearing clothes, but I bet when you try to imagine the painting you imagine these dogs fully decked out in some sort of work coat. There is a further anthropromized version of the ad called “His Station and Four Aces” that depicts a glimpse at a look at an entire canine furry society. His ideas of putting an animal in clothes remains to this day one of the most novel and surefire commercially friendly means of artistic expression. The original cynical man laughing all the way to the bank, his own bank that he founded to boot.

Seen above: An example of a Comic Foreground that also demonstrates the failings of having too few people in your party to properly partake in the comic foreground experience. 

“Cash” Cassius wasn’t the first man to imagine a domestic pet in people clothes, but he’s probably one of the few to do so with such commercial finesse. The man also at one point filed the patent on the “Comic Foregrounds,” which is the technical name of one of those carnival boards with holes to stick your head in. In post Covid times how many more heads will be salivating and rushing towards those holes to pop their heads in to create a lasting memory, if only for a second. So when I start learning more about this remarkable weirdo Cassius Coolidge, a man according to his official website dogsplayingpoker.com’s Biography: “Trying to chase mischievous boys from an abandoned house, he fell from a window and hurt his knee, leaving him injured for the rest of his life.”

Flash forward back to 2021 and Denis Leary and his career a man with a wikipedia with fun entries about all the accusations of plagiarism and hate speech against autism I start to worry about the legacy of more Kitsch art falling into the hands of other greedy and desperate TV executives. That being said if you are a greedy TV executive who happens to be a maniac that likes reading rando’s tumblr pages do I have a list for you!

TOP TEN PIECES OF KITSCH ART THAT SHOULD BE TURNED INTO SOME KIND OF SOMETHING

“We Are Having a Heavenly Time” Columbian Bike Monkey and Parakeet by, once again, Cassius Coolidge

Coolidge’s anthropomorphic foresight strikes again! This time he effortlessly establishes a captivating duo that could be easily voiced by an endless combination of celebrity voice actors. PAUL RUDD as “Monkey” and ISSA RAE as “Parakeet” present “We Are Having a Heavenly Time” present a travel show. You could basically use whatever leftover footage you have lying around from the many Conan O’Brien segments and plug Monkey and Parakeet and their trusty bicycle anywhere for an irreverent glimpse into the foreign World around us.

2. “Clown and The Girl” by Haddon Sundblom  

Now I know what you’re thinking, that title is miserable! I agree, but with a little  reverse engineering you get The Girl and Clown, which could be a whole new addition to the Girl on a Train, Girl with a Dragon Tattoo, Girl with a Dangly Earpiece, the Girl-Verse! The girl appears to be quite fearless of this clown, which is good because we need someone to be brave for when the clown takes off his mask.

Sundblom is also the original artist for the Coke a cola Santa Claus and how is it that we have gone this many rotations around the sun without a single Coke a cola Santa Claus special is the real reason why Christmas will always be the saddest time of year.

3. “Clean Your Fornasetti” based around the artistic Plate collection of Pierro Fornasetti 

Muk bangs, videos of people eating are a huge cyber traffic boom. People love watching people eat. Why not add the element of surprise by what kind of playful Fornasetti chanteuse is hiding underneath this plate full of gruel? Fornasetti is an artist with over 11,000 items created in his name and over 500 of them are based around a variety of expressions of a single woman. Clean Your Fornasetti is a deep and poetic rumination of the romance between the act of someone cleaning their plate and the reveal that the plate contained a visual feast all its own.

4. “Mickey’s Kinkade Playhouse” by the one and only Thomas Kinkade

The Kinkade Studios features over 63 “narrative panoramas” featuring Disney characters, but largely Mickey and Minnie, simply vibing. It’s time we stop pretending that small children like Mickey Mouse and market him for wistful older audiences that want to radiate in a nice long warm bath of color and sound. I am not sure I am even pitching an actual series but more of a Narrative Panoply. One thing that is missing from Disney Plus, and streaming services in general, is a severe lack of programming frills and flourishing. The iconic Adult Swim bumps are something completely lost to the dustbins of programming history left to remain in youtube compilations. Thomas Kinkade is a lot like Enya. Art critics treated him like a comedic punching bag for so long, but I doubt there’s an artist that grasps the kind of sterile enchantment people want after a long day of opioid benders. We’re all trapped inside doing puzzles why not do the bare minimum of slightly animating a pleasant scene of Mickey and Minnie roasting marshmallows or enjoying a breath of fresh Alpine air?

5. “Dust Lickers” by Odd Nerdrum

Quick! Get me Trash Humpers’ Harmony Korine on the Line Show him Shit Rock! The world of Odd Nerdrum is a harsh and primeval one that would make for an astonishing animated landscape. Odd Nerdrum himself feels like a worthy subject of some kind of documentary based around his imagery and insistence on making his art in the most arcane and old fashioned methods possible. Once again, maybe the visual world of Odd Nerdrum may not make for a full on narrative series, but once again would make for one hell of an animated segment.

6. “Homemade Pasta” by John Currin 

A cozy Queer slice of life cooking drama based around the two charming fellows of John Currin’s Homemade Pasta scene. A series of vignettes based around the completely unfabulous and domestic version of bliss that was denied many people as a result of the AIDS crisis. You can’t tell me you don’t see those two nice guys getting cozy and making pasta together and you aren’t dying to see how they go about rolling out their own focaccia bread.

7. “The Velvet Elvis” by the Collective Conscious 

David Lynch at one point in time was trying to crack into making his own Elvis biopic. I think it’s pretty safe to say that the age of a public wanting a David Lynch directed Elvis biopic has probably passed, but that does not stop Velvet art enthusiasts. TheVelvetStore.com is featuring a remarkable promo that could really bump up what a David Lynch Elvis movie could be like and the horror of having one’s soul trapped inside of a Velvet Elvis rendition painting seems like a pretty fertile place to begin a proper story about Elvis in America. 

8. “Big Eye Bunch” by Margaret Keane 

Yes, it was only a matter of time before Ms. Big Eyes herself, Queen of Kitsch, Margaret Keane would come up on a list like this. Tim Burton tried and sort of kind of captured what it so endearing about Keane’s work, but I think a fully animated dive into an orphanage full of sad Big Eye kids that time travel and meet other Big Eyed children version of historical figures is a Big Idea that could make a whole new generation keen on Keane.

9. “Banality” by Jeff Koons

An animated series based around the artistic sensibilities of Jeff Koons would be a tricky affair, but just the kind of gaudy whimsy that someone like Michel Gondrey could use to proper effect. A series based around someone trying to steal the fifteen million dollar Michael Jackson statue would also be appropriate.

10. “Groovenians reboot” by Kenny Scharf

Scharf is the only artist on this list that actually was a kitsch artist that caught the attention of early aughts adult swim. A tv show that only features the artistic sensibilities of Scharf but also a voice acting cast that consisted of Paul Reubens, Rupaul, Vincent Gallo, and Dennis Hopper. There’s also a theme song performed by the B-52s and musical direction by Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh. One of the only known published reviews of the pilot describe the show as needing mind altering substances to enjoy and that it is essentially like “watching a cartoon reflected off of a funhouse mirror. This is basically a description of the modern tik tok addled twitchy type content that makes a killing on the Internet for millenial and zoomer types. Basically the whole aesthetic of a warped and broken looking cartoon is the exact sort of thing weirdos deep diving at youtube at four in the morning are looking for and seeing that this gets a failed pilot and Denis Leary’s Dog Poker vignettes get greenlit is exactly what’s wrong with the world.

#Kitsch #surrealism #Pop Art #Denis Leary #Animation Domination #Cartoons #art critique #art criticism #Dogs playing poker #Norman Rockwell #Disney #thomas kinkade #Jeff Koons #Kenny Scharf #Margaret Keane #Big eyes #Velvet Painting #Velvet Elvis #Elvis #John Currin #pasta #odd nerdrum #fornasetti #haddon sundblom #cassius coolidge #art talk #Tv pitch #Animation #Adult Animation #B-52s

[reddielibrary]

Riding Lynda Carter

Prompt: young eddie falling over and breaking his leg in the barrens and richie has to find a way to get him out and to a doctor

Written by: Alexis | @quixoticquest

Word Count: 4288

*click title to read on AO3

For the last twenty years since he had moved away from Derry, Richie had left a majority of his childhood crap at his folks’ place. There wasn’t any real purpose for it in LA. But recently he had an encounter with his past again, and the people in it. Now just seemed like as good a time as any to revisit those old keepsakes, go through what he wanted to donate, or keep.

Keep in preparation for moving in with his boyfriend, that is.

“Yikes, this inflatable pool has got to go,” Eddie stated, gripping the great rubber monstrosity with both hands, shielded by yellow gloves.

“Aw, why?” Richie whined, for no other reason than it was fun to be contrary. “That’ll make a great centerpiece for our dining room table. Just gotta find one big enough.”

Eddie trashed the pool, eyeing his boyfriend the whole way into the black garbage bag. Richie just smiled and carried on flipping through a box of pictures from some party or another.

“Hey, what’s this?” There were only so many things that Richie expected to find in his parents’ garage besides his dad’s tools and rat poop. Imagine his surprise when Eddie dragged a big hunk of old wood out from behind Went’s workbench. A set of rusty, crusted runners hooked under the cobweb covered slab, which meant it could only be one thing.

“Oh, shit. That.” Richie rushed over, tripping over Eddie’s trash bag as he yanked the old sled away from him (and boy was it heavy!). “This we can burn. I mean there’s no way to throw it away responsibly and with global warming running rampant it won’t serve any purpose if we donate it.”

“Wait, I remember this.” Eddie gasped, eyes flashing brighter than Richie expected anyone else pushing forty. “Your Flexible Flyer, from ‘87. I can’t believe you didn’t take better care if it. Don’t you remember, Richie? Oh my gosh.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Richie grumbled, staring ruefully at the dreaded sled. That was one memory he wished not to keep.

***

Patience was not a virtue Richie Tozier possessed, but today, he was actually giving it the old college try. Watching Mrs. Kaspbrak fret and dote over her nylon-clad son, pulling buttons and zippers and strings until he looked like a bright red Michelin Man, was its own kind of torture. Richie couldn’t groan, couldn’t sigh. He couldn’t even laugh when Mrs. K  asked if Eddie had remembered his thermal underwear (though he would definitely tell Bill and Stanley later).

One wrong move, and he’d be sent off without Eddie for the rest of the day - maybe the rest of winter break. Who knew when Derry was going to get another perfect eight inches of tantalizing snow again? Probably on a school day in February for the jerk principal to keep class in session.

“I want you back before it gets too dark, you hear me?” Mrs. K commanded, while Richie struggled not to fidget in the doorway. And here he thought he could avoid all this consternation if his mom called and asked the night before. Like they were six and still needed to schedule playdates.

Eddie nodded, with a good deal of swishy noises between the hat, earmuffs, hood, and scarf all competing to swallow up his face.

After a drawn out goodbye session full of wet cheek kisses and smeared lipstick stains, they were off, stepping through the snowtracks Richie had already made on his way to the door.

“You don’t have to pee, do you?” he asked Eddie, when they were out of earshot. “I dunno if I can wait any longer if you do. You might have to take one for the team and shove a bottle up your pants.”

Eddie made a noise that sounded like a lot of hot air against wool, his mouth muffled by his scarf.

“Pardon?” Richie asked, cheesing.

Eddie growled, shoved his scarf down, and ripped off his hood. “I said shut up, Richie,” he snapped, wiping his mother’s lipstick off his cold-nipped cheeks.

Walking was a lot faster when they reached the street, where the snow had been scraped away the night before in preparation for what the perky blonde weather lady on channel five was calling the biggest snowfall of the season. It certainly seemed to be true, with the fluffy white stuff climbing up Richie’s legs to chill his shins. Perfect weather for playing (so long as Eddie’s mom decided to be reasonable).

“Check it out,” Richie gushed, shuffling backward to pull his brand spanking new Flexible Flyer out from the bushes where he had tucked it away. Had to hide it before he got to the Kaspbraks’. No way Mrs. K would let Eddie participate in any winter activity more strenuous than a snow angel, if she knew about it.

“Wow,” Eddie exclaimed, all bright-eyed excitement as he bent toward the sled to glide his mittens over the red runners and smooth, finished wood. “This is so awesome, Richie! Is it the newest model?”

“Yeah, Santa really pimped me out this year.” Richie grinned smugly from behind his glasses, and crossed his arms - best he was able in his stiff, puffy snow jacket.

“Did you name it?”

“Her , Eds, her. You know what Bill says. And yes, I did. Wanna know what?”

“Well, that’s kind of why I asked, stupid.”

“Her name is Lynda Carter,” Richie proclaimed, patting the flat seat of the Flexible Flyer with his gloved hand, “because she’s fast, and strong, and the minute I saw her I knew I wanted to ride her all day long.”

Eddie must not have been a fan of Wonder Woman, because he levelled a dry glare at Richie. “Gross.”

“Get your own sled if you don’t like it, Eds.”

“I can’t!”

Eager to put Eddie’s house far behind them, Richie grabbed the rope on Lynda Carter and started off on their winter trek, Eddie in tow. The number one spot for sledding in Derry was behind the library, where the slope was flat and steep and teeming with every stupid idiot from school, pushing into one another and taking forever to get back up to slide down again. With that many people, the snow was bound to get worn through too.

“The library’s in the other direction, Richie,” Eddie pointed out, shuffling along behind Lynda.

“I know,” Richie chirped. Their walk was pretty slow-going, but there wasn’t much he could do dragging a sled with almost a foot of snow on the ground.

Eddie made a flabbergasted noise that sounded like his voice had been caught in the back of his throat. “Then where are we going?”

“You’ll see!”

It didn’t take very long to see. Richie was still trying to master the art of anticipation, but one thing he did know was that if he told Eddie where they were headed, he ran the risk of derailing his whole operation. Sometimes Eddie could be just as persnickety as his own mother.

In no time, toes chilled through boots and two layers of socks, they arrived at the road up to the Kissing Bridge. Richie waited like a good little boy for a car to pass before he crossed the street, but Eddie yanked him back by his collar and nearly choked the life out of him.

“The Barrens?” Eddie demanded, while Richie lamented (not even a hundred feet away from their glorious destination!). “You wanna sled in the Barrens? It’s all trees, Richie. You’ll break your sled.”

“Lynda,” Richie whined. “And I can steer clear of trees! Don’t you have any faith in me, Eds?”

When Eddie stared him down silently for too long, Richie waved his arms and relented.

“Okay fine, we can go to the dumb old library.”

“Good,” Eddie stated, grinding his heel into the snow to turn around.

“Where everyone else is gonna be,” Richie went on.

“Probably!”

“Bumping into each other, hogging the slope.”

“Oh well!”

“Waiting like sitting ducks for when Henry and his chuckleheads come and ruin everything.”

All Eddie’s forward momentum ceased. Bingo.

“I think we could take ‘em though,” Richie went on, patting his scrawny bicep through his coat. “A little fisticuffs never hurt nobody - well, just so long as you can dodge some punches, otherwise your mom’s gonna have a hissy-”

“Just cross the street already!” Eddie shoved both hands into Richie’s back, and he grinned triumphantly toward the heavens as they headed to the Barrens.

The slanted plane of land leading down into the trees was a lot steeper than Richie remembered from the summer. Maybe it evened out toward the bottom, he wondered. Not all the snow would stick to the top of the slope, and fell to the end of it, to create a bigger cushion, all because of gravity. That was just basic physics, after all.

“How ‘bout here?” Richie asked, stopping after they’d walked on for a few minutes. “Looks pretty clear to me.”

“Richie, there’s like seven trees all down that direction,” Eddie said, motioning toward the pristine blanket of snow laid before them - or it would have been pristine, if not for the spindly trunks shooting into the sky.

“Uh, I count five,” Richie retorted, hauling Lynda over the bridge barrier. “And I told you, I can steer past them. All I have to do is lean a little. It’s barely steering.”

If Eddie meant to say something back, he floundered, helpless while Richie went about settling Lynda where she wouldn’t slip too soon, and mounting with the rope in his hand. When Eddie didn’t come sit his stupid butt down immediately after, Richie waved him over.

“I don’t know about this, Richie.”

“Come on, Eds! What are you, a pussy?”

Eddie’s eyes flared indignantly. Richie was doing a damn good job with his kicks in the right direction today.

“I am not a pussy.” Eddie dropped onto Lynda with a creak of wood.

“You can put your arms around my waist if you want,” Richie gushed.

“Just shut up and push off!”

Richie did just that. Lynda and her load slid through the snow with amazing agility, gaining speed as the incline disappeared behind them. Richie yanked on the string and wrenched his body around the thick trees scattered across the hillside, usually in the nick of time, to the tune of Eddie’s shrieking. Richie matched him in volume, only he was laughing instead.

They came to a gradual stop at the bottom of the slope, grinding into the snow-covered field that banked off into the stream where the sewers emptied out. A couple more feet and they might have been skidding across the frozen, rocky water.

Red-faced and panting, mostly from shouting their lungs out, the two of them climbed off Lynda, just a little eager for a surface that didn’t move and rumble beneath them. Richie grabbed onto the rope again, while his stomach let loose their butterflies, and his joints relaxed from being clenched so hard.

“See? That wasn’t so bad!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air.

Eddie wasn’t hyperventilating, or curled up on his side in the snow - a good sign. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said, while Richie did his best to look mock offended. “You steered alright, Richie. If we do it from that spot every time we should be good.”

“See? And you doubted me.” More smug than he deserved to be, Richie slung an arm around Eddie’s neck, nearly tripping him. They hauled Lynda back up the slope, and did it all over again.

“Should we have a philosophical debate, like Calvin and Hobbes?” Richie called over his shoulder as they tipped off their starting point.

“I dunno if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Well, for starters,” Eddie went on as they whizzed through the trees, “what do you know about philosophy?”

“Lots!”

“Well I don’t.”

“Then I’ll teach you, and that’ll be the debate.”

“Second, you don’t want to be like Calvin and Hobbes when they sled, Richie. You know at the end of every comic, Calvin and Hobbes start arguing, fly through the air and-”

A thick crack sent the Flexible Flyer - well, flying - arcing over a shallow rock ledge Richie had managed to avoided before. The two of them lost their grip far too easily, airborne for a half a second that felt so much longer. Long enough for Richie to register his dad would kill him if he broke Lynda.

The impact threw him flat into the snow, harsh and hard, the icy powder biting into his face as his frames dug into his skin. The wind got knocked out of Richie for a moment, and he squirmed, choking, until there was air in his lungs again, and he could sit up without dying.

If it wasn’t Lynda, then he was definitely toast for his specs, he decided, when he pulled them off his face to find thin cracks splintering the glass. Richie whined, more bummed out than sore, really, and lumbered to his feet to survey the damage on his beloved sled.

“Ow ow ow.”

Pausing in his literal tracks, Reddie shuffled in the snow to find Eddie hunched over in on himself. He was breathing hard, tilting back, and forth.

“Asthma?” Richie asked, wide-eyed as a new panic set in.

Eddie shook his head, eyes screwed shut. “I landed funny on a tree root. Over there. I think I sprained my knee.”

“Lemme see.” Richie knelt down beside him, hovering hesitantly. Eventually he worked up the nerve to grab Eddie’s leg with his gloved hand - only to reel back, when Eddie howled louder than he’d ever heard before.

“That hurts!” Eddie snapped, tears dotted along his eyelashes.

“Holy shit,” Richie breathed, wary. “For real, Eds?”

“You think I’m making it up?”

“Well you’ve freaked out about smaller stuff!”

“I’m freaking out because it hurts so bad!” Eddie swore, mouth twisting up on itself as he fingered his knee. He whimpered, a small, scared sound. Richie had never heard anything like it before.

“Maybe we should take you to the doctor,” he said, forcing a single logical thought into his head.

“No!” Eddie’s head flew up, eyes wide. “No, I hate the doctor. They’re just going to call my mom and she’s gonna pitch a fit, and I won’t be able to hang out with you guys ever again! If we go to the pharmacy we can get stuff to make a splint. I can hide it under my pants and pretend I fell at home, later.”

“I don’t have any money, though!”

“Neither do I!”

“Then why would you suggest the pharmacy?!”

Richie thought long and hard, jarred by every pained noise that left Eddie’s mouth. No Mrs. K, no doctor, no pharmacy. Where the hell were they supposed to go?

A new idea dawned on Richie, and he gasped. “Wait, we could go to my parents’ house. They know how shitty your mom is, they’ll know what to do.”

Eddie stared at Richie, suspicion written across his distraught face. “You think so?”

“Yeah, my dad could probably figure something out. He’s a doctor.”

“He’s a dentist, Richie.”

“Everyone’s a critic, ain’t they?” Glancing around, Richie eventually spotted Lynda through his broken glasses, and went to retrieve her where she had capsized. Wasn’t broken, thankfully - but that was the least of his worries.

“I can pull you out on the sled,” he explained, situating her rightside up, before returning to Eddie, beckoning with his hands. “Come on. You can prop your leg up.” The nerves must have been getting to Richie, because he finished off with his best cowboy. “Don’t you worry, little lady, doc’s gon’ be ‘round to patch you up real soon.”

Eddie stared glumly, only to wince and his as he moved to get on the sled a second later. Richie’s guiding arms could only help so much. Each noise was like hot and cold, in regard to how much pain was being inflicted. A small breath was cold, and screaming OW OW OW was hot hot hot.

They eventually got Eddie set up with his leg propped in front of him, the other tucked under his butt. Like that, there wasn’t any room for Richie, but he had to pull anyway.

“Hold on tight,” he chirped, heaving the flimsy rope to drag Eddie, and Lynda, out of the Barrens.

There was no reasonable way to leave the way they came, which meant they had to take the long way out, following the more gradual incline of the land, past the sewer. Hauling over snow-laden grasses, rumbling across stones embedded in the ground, Richie really put his arms to work. He thought just Lynda had been bad - add a hundred pounds of injured pipsqueak, and it was downright torture. His knuckles ached in their grip, and the muscles in his arms seared. But hey - at least his knees were in tip-top shape.

“What did I tell you?” he mentioned at some point, huffing for breath as his heart worked itself into a tizzy behind his ribcage. Now that D in gym class made perfect sense. “We didn’t hit a tree, did we?”

Eddie’s pained groan was answer enough. Eventually they got themselves up and out of the Barrens, back into Derry proper, where the path was even and flat. Still, there was a whole neighborhood to traverse before they reached Richie’s house.

“You gotta admit, it was pretty fun, right Eds?” Richie asked hopefully. The silence behind him was deafening. All he could ever hope for, at any point in his life, was a reaction. Struggled noises didn’t really fit the bill. “And someday, we’ll laugh about this. How you hurt your knee riding Lynda Carter.”

“I’m not laughing about it now,” Eddie grit out.

“Well, we could laugh about something else.”

“No jokes. My stomach hurts.”

“Jeez, your knee hurts, your stomach hurts, there’s always something with you, isn’t there?”

Wondering, maybe for the first time, if he had gone to far, Richie decided he was better off shutting up - also for the first time.

They finally came upon the Tozier house, and Richie picked up the pace for the home stretch, boots grinding into the asphalt road as he hauled ass to his own front lawn. He went up the driveway, and “parked” Lynda in the yard (which Mom had said not to do, but desperate times and all that). Eddie grunted and grimaced all the way up, even with Richie taking one arm over his shoulder and his own hand around Eddie’s waist, so he could limp his way to the front door.

Before they could even make an attempt at the porch steps, though, the door flew open. Richie’s mom stood there in her thick Christmas sweater, a rag from some abandoned chore in her hand.

It didn’t take much to assess the situation, with Eddie propped up on Richie, his leg suspended in front of him.

“Richard, what did you do?”

“Eddie hurt his leg!” It’s not my fault rose to the tip of Richie’s tongue, but he swallowed it back. He wasn’t a hundred percent on that statement yet. He was pretty sure the anxious feeling rattling around in his skull was some form of guilt anyway.

Mrs. Tozier helped Eddie inside, over to the couch in the parlor no one was supposed to go in unless guests were over. Without any hesitation, with what Richie could only call Mom Mode fully activated, she took his boots off and rolled the leg of his snow pants up as gingerly and carefully as possible.

Richie’s eyes flared wide, his pulse picking up at the sight of the bulbous purple bruise spread across Eddie’s knee. He flicked his gaze into the corner of the room, where everything was much less grotesque.

“Oh no,” Mrs. Tozier murmured, trying not to touch Eddie’s knee too much. The red spread across his freckled face had little to do with the snow now, Richie figured, but Eddie set his jaw all the same.

“I think it’s broken. We’ll have to call your mom, Eddie. She can drive you to the hospital.”

“What? No!” Richie and Eddie said - almost in unison.

Mrs. Tozier gave each of them a look (the one for her son slightly more scathing). “We can’t do anything here, Richie. Eddie, you need a doctor. You need to get an X-ray, and probably some kind of cast.”

“Then what if we take him to the doctor?” Richie asked.

“They would still have to call Mrs. Kasprak,” his mom answered, almost exasperated. “And we don’t need to be at the hospital right now. I’m sorry, Richie. Eddie is his mother’s responsibility, not ours.”

She moved to leave, only for Richie to fling himself at her, clutching around her waist.

“You can’t do that, Mom! Mrs. K is gonna ruin his life! He’s going to be stuck with her big fat ass all winter break and not be allowed to leave the house!”

“Richard! Language!”

“It’s fine, Richie.”

Who would have thought it would be Eddie to stop the commotion. Richie paused, still latched onto his mom like a baby koala.

He expected Eddie to look so small and sad from the couch, what with the latest turn of events, but the opposite was true. He sat up, leg out, expression hard. If his knee weren’t busted, Richie thought he might shoot up and march right over.

“I gotta go to the doctor with my mom, that’s all there is too it.” Eddie huffed, fingers fiddling in his lap. “We tried, but if my leg is broken then I can’t really hide it. Thanks for getting me out of the Barrens, though. You really helped me out there.”

“The Barrens?” Mrs. Tozier demanded. “You brought your sled to the Barrens? What’s wrong with you, look what happened! Not to mention how much we paid for it, not for you to go crashing into things!”

“It was my idea, Mrs. Tozier,” Eddie chimed in, lying as easily as he would to his own mother. “I told Richie we should go play in the Barrens. It’s always so crowded behind the library. I thought it would be more fun.”

Richie stared at Eddie in disbelief. Eddie stared back, confident, despite the pain that twitched on his face.

Behind them, Mrs. Tozier sighed. “We’ll talk about this later, Richie. Right now, I’m going to call Eddie’s mom.”

She slipped right out of his grasp, striding away, into the kitchen. Richie stood there defeated. He hadn’t felt sorrier in his entire life.

Mrs. Kaspbrak came soon enough, spittle flying as she shrieked. Not just at Richie, but at his mom, as Eddie waited by, face turned away. She took him away, far away, to the hospital - and after that, home. His piss poor excuse for a home, where he stayed until school was back in session. Richie got grounded for playing in the Barrens for about the same amount of time.

He never rode Lynda Carter again.

***

“I felt so fucking betrayed by my mom that day,” Richie explained, shaking his head, laughing when the memory took a somber turn he had not been prepared for. “I couldn’t believe she did that. But I guess, in the end, I sorta betrayed you more, huh?”

“What?” Eddie asked, face twisting up.

“I delivered you into the hands of the enemy! I told you you wouldn’t have to go to the doctor or your mom and look what I did. I was a real snot-nosed brat.” Richie stared at the sled - Lynda - accusingly. As if she had made the decision to go play in a dangerous place.

Suddenly, Richie’s gaze was jarred by Eddie’s hands, forcing their eyes to meet.

“Don’t be stupid, Rich. We were kids.” His gaze turned a little soft. “I broke my knee, we couldn’t just avoid the hospital, as much as we wanted to back then. It was a mistake, yeah, and definitely your fault-”

“Thanks,” Richie said, voice muffled by the squish of his cheeks as he stooped down in front of Eddie.

“But I still agreed to it. And I turned out okay.”

“But your mom. I just wish there was something me or my parents could have done-”

“There wasn’t.” Eddie shook his head. “We were kids, we were at the mercy of everything. We didn’t have control over anything except where we went to fucking sled. And I was my mom’s responsibility, even if she was shitty about it. Not yours, or your moms.”

“Funny,” Richie mumbled. “My mom said something like that, I think.”

“Probably because she was an adult for way longer than you.”

“You callin’ my mama old?”

Eddie rolled his eyes, and tilted forward. Their lips met, easing Richie’s troubled mind. His boyfriend was right, anyway - there was little they could have done back then. You couldn’t exactly call CPS on a mom keeping her son home about his broken leg.

“Besides,” Eddie said when they parted. “Mom’s in a retirement community, and it’s just you and me, now. Together forever.”

Richie gasped, delighted. “You’re right! That means you’re my responsibility.”

Eddie frowned. “That’s not what I-”

“Worry not!” Setting Lynda down, Richie clutched his arms around Eddie and swooped him into a dip, his boyfriend yelling all the while. “I will protect you with my life, fair sir! The evil, wretched, corpulent Sonia-beast can never touch us again!”

Richie pulled Eddie in for a sweet, enveloping kiss, the annoyed noises eventually dying down until there was nothing but soft lips, and an eased conscience.

Hell. Maybe one day, Lynda Carter would ride again.

#reddie #reddielibrary #writing team #prompt fill #quixoticquest

[lilacmoon83]

All I Want For Christmas is You

@charmingfamilyholidays 

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 5: The Christmas I Almost Lost You, Pt 1

It started off as a normal day; a normal Christmas Eve. David was up early and had another stakeout with Rogers that day, though he promised they'd be home that evening in time for Christmas Eve. Snow and Emma were up early with him, as their toddler was always the early riser as well. Being fourteen months old now, Emma was starting to get the gist of Christmas. Her eyes had been bright with joy, as they decorated their little family tree they had in the loft earlier in the month. She was absolutely enthralled by all the decorations around the city and was so excited when they had taken a drive last Sunday through the neighborhood to see all the Christmas lights. And of course, their little one was bursting at the seams with excitement with all the wrapped packages under the tree and Santa's pending arrival that evening. And while David went to work, Snow and Emma would be spending the day baking cookies for that evening's festivities.

"Mmmm...I wish you were staying home with me and Emma," Snow cooed, as he kissed her neck sensually.

"Me too," he replied in a husky tone. It may have been Christmas, but it was also their anniversary.

"But if you stay...I doubt we'll get anything done," she said. He chuckled.

"Yeah...remember last year when we, ah made the cookie dough together and then ended up getting busy in other ways on the sofa?" he replied, as he put his arms around her waist. She giggled. Oh she remembered that day fondly. Roni had taken Emma out for some last minute Christmas shopping that afternoon, leaving them to their own devices. They had been quite the sight when she returned a few hours later.

"You mean how Roni walked in on us, curled up together, eating the bowl of dough with only a blanket hiding the fact we had no clothes on?" she recalled. He chuckled.

"The look on her face was priceless...and annoyed," he joked. She hummed again, as he kissed her deeply.

"Okay...you better go or this is going to get indecent again," she said, as she prodded him toward the door.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he mused.

"Oh, not bad at all, just on pause...until tonight," she cooed, as she kissed him again and he finally made his way out. He couldn't wait for the day to be over already so he could come home to his beautiful wife and their precious baby girl.

The day progressed as normal, meaning that he and Rogers spent most of it in their car. There hadn't been a lot of progress in their investigation in past couple years, but there had recently been a lot of activity down at the docks and they thought there could be a possible arrest soon.

"There is he…" David said, as their target walked out of the Blanchard Industries Cannery.

"Arthur King...right on time. You sure he's one of Blanchard's top men?" Rogers questioned.

"That's what the Intel says...and I trust my source. Lance wouldn't lead me wrong...he's been friends with Snow for a long time," David answered. They watched Arthur hand off a case to another contact, whom David vaguely recognized as a gopher in Spencer's network. The gopher then handed off a case to Arthur. The dark haired man checked it and they leaned to see what was inside. Rogers took his camera and zoomed in, eyeing what appeared to be bags of white powder.

"We've got him…" David said.

"Easy mate...not quite," Rogers advised, as he snapped the pictures.

"I know Arthur is the head of this drug ring...he's behind the spike, I can feel it. Lance says he's overseeing the manufacturing of this new brand secretly in the cannery. He said Arthur is calling it Avalon Mist. It's twice as potent as cocaine and overdoses have doubled on this stuff. The hallucinogen properties in this stuff is also off the charts," David explained.

"And I believe your source...but I want to see where he goes next," Rogers said.

"Me too...but following him is risky. I have a feeling though he'll lead us to bigger fish," David agreed.

"As do I...it is risky, but I'm in if you are," Rogers said. David nodded.

"Follow him," he agreed, as they did so, with Rogers using all the tricks he knew to make it seem like they weren't following. Arthur was leading them right into the richest neighborhood in Seattle and David's nerves were on edge. He couldn't believe that it might actually happen. They might not only arrest Arthur King...but Leopold Blanchard as well.

"I don't bloody believe it...King must be losing his touch. He drove right to the Blanchard mansion," Rogers said, as he parked a few houses down.

"Maybe he's been dipping into his own mist," David quipped, until there was a knocking on his window and they saw that they were surrounded by Blanchard's thugs, who were armed with guns. Rogers sighed.

"Or perhaps this whole thing was a trap for us," he muttered, as they got out of the car, putting their hands up, as they were led into the Blanchard mansion.

Snow hummed a Christmas tune, as she rolled out the sugar cookie dough and prepared it use their cookie cutters on. Emma sat next to her in her highchair, watching her mother with avid interest.

~*~

"Okay sweetheart...it's time to use the cookie cutters," she cooed, as she lifted her into her arms and then picked the Christmas tree shaped cutter.

"Twee?" Emma asked.

"Yeah...that's right sweetie," Snow replied, as she put the cutter down on the dough and then took Emma's hand. And with her mother's help, they pushed down on the dough and cut the shape.

"There...you did it!" Snow praised, as Emma clapped her hands.

"Well...I see I'm just in time," Roni said, as she entered the loft with a sack. She was in charge of the frosting and decorations for the cookies.

"Ni?" Emma called, as she tried to say Roni, but it always came out as Ni.

"Yeah...Ni is here, sweetheart," Roni cooed, as she took her from Snow and cuddled.

"You are getting so big," she said fondly and Snow smiled.

"I know...I wish she'd stay this size forever," Snow said.

"Well, you know...as much as I don't want to know the details, you and David could always get busy on number two. God knows you two practice enough," Roni teased, enjoying how her sister's cheeks colored.

"We haven't really talked about number two yet," Snow mused.

"You didn't talk about Emma and here she is, despite birth control," Roni said bluntly.

"Okay...new subject and let's get back to the cookies," Snow replied, as her phone rang and she answered it.

"Hello?" she answered and Roni became concerned when she dropped the phone in shock.

"What's wrong?" Roni asked.

"Turn on the laptop…" Snow uttered, as she did so and the horrible face of Leopold Blanchard filled the screen.

"Hello daughter…" he greeted.

"What have you done…" Snow hissed.

"It is your foolish husband that has been harassing my operation and he has finally gone too far," Leopold responded, as he stepped aside and let them see that he had both David and Rogers tied to chairs. Rogers had a black and bruises on his face. And David had a split lip and bruises as well.

"David…" she uttered.

"Killian…" Roni said fearfully.

"I am at the end of my rope with your defiance, my dear Mary...and your husband is going to pay the price," he threatened, as she saw Arthur put a gun to David's head.

"No...no please! I'll do whatever you want...please don't kill him," Snow begged, as her knees nearly buckled.

"Snow...I love you. I love you and Emma so much…" he said tearfully and she sobbed almost uncontrollably.

"You will come home then, Mary...and take your place by my side. Or your husband dies…" he threatened, as the screen went dark. Snow nearly collapsed to her knees, but Roni caught her.

"I have to go...you have to stay with Emma," she sobbed.

"Like hell...I'm going with you. Rogers is in there too. We'll leave Emma with Lacey," she said, as they gathered her up and took her downstairs.

"Lacey...where is your husband? He's not answering his phone," Roni asked urgently.

"He said he had a big interrogation today...it's probably off," Lacey replied.

"Dammit...David and Rogers are in trouble. Can you stay with Emma?" she asked.

"Of course," Lacey replied, alarmed by the fact that Snow was a hysterical mess. She took the baby and watched the two women rush out of the bar, before dialing her husband. But it went straight to voicemail.

"You need to turn on your phone...the boys are in trouble…" she said, leaving the voicemail and hoped he would get it in time...

#Snowing #SnowxCharming #12 days of Charming family Christmas #charming family holidays #HookedQueen #Rumbelle #romance #family #xmas fic #Hyperion Heights AU

[hays89ejlersen-blog]

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[greyeyedmonster-18]

(harry buys sirius presents ft. remus (and they can also be Jewish!) fest. moderated by @impishtubist and me.)

#code word is santas got a brand new bag #but actually tag your fics operation presents for padfoot #or presents for padfoot #or whatever you want tbh #nothing matters #this fest isn't real #everything you need to know about the fest is in the title

[justmeinbigd]

40+ Places to Shop Local (Online) for Christmas Gifts on Small Business Saturday and Beyond

All photos by me - Kristina Rowe (and most are pre-pandemic. Apparently I’m not much of a shopper.)

I hope your Thanksgiving was great and I hope you’ve been able to support some small businesses today. Here’s a list I originally posted on Reddit of some Dallas small businesses where you can shop for Christmas gifts or for yourself. 

Online shopping options are linked or described here to give you the safest possible shopping experience. 

I’ll be sharing some more holiday shopping lists featuring local Dallas businesses soon. (Some of us aren’t into Black Friday shopping, even in non-COVID-19 years.) 

Happy Shopping, you’ll feel great when you shop local! 

Toys

Froggie's 5 &10 - Note: Not much can be purchased online. This store will be moving in 2021 so they are offering discounts on pretty much everything in the store.

Toy Maven - Toys, games, novelties, and lots more.

Toys Unique - Games, puzzles, arts & crafts and lots more.

Twig & Olive - Boxed sets that encourage creative play with no batteries, buttons or screens.

Gaming

Common Ground Games - With board games, trading card games, miniatures and paints, it will also someday once again be a great place to meet others and play games. Their week-long small business Saturday sale runs through Sunday, Dec 6.

Madness Games and Comics (Plano) -  A pop culture mega store with new comics, graphic novels, actions figures, board games, RPGs, and more.

Richardson Bike Mart near White Rock Lake at sunset.

Bikes

Red Star Bicycle Shop - Family-owned bicycle services, repairs, sales, and rentals.

Richardson Bike Mart - Founded in 1962, this local shop has grown into a small chain with stores in Richardson, Frisco, Dallas and McKinney. Their website has multiple holiday gift guides and online shopping.

Oak Cliff Bike Synergy - New and used (some vintage) bicycles.

Preston Hollow Bicycles - Local bike store selling a variety of bikes, accessories, utility items, apparel and more.

Sports/Outdoors

A J Vagabonds - Outdoor & Sporting Goods store in Bishop arts with a motto of “Go Outside Y’all.” They have fun stuff and great gift ideas on their Facebook page, but it looks like most of it cannot be purchased online.

Buddy’s Sporting Goods - In business 40+ years, focus on team sports equipment and apparel.

Dynamic Discs - This company wasn’t “born in Dallas” and isn’t headquartered here, but it’s family-owned and has a small footprint with a strong presence in Carrollton and Lewisville. If you’re into disc sports, you’ll want to shop here.

Not Just Soccer (Dallas & Fort Worth) - locally owned and operated business specializing in everything youth sports.

Play it Again Sports (Plano) - Locally owned, new and used sporting goods and gear.

Ray’s Sporting Goods - The iconic Dallas guns and more store on Singleton.

Plants

North Haven Gardens - Sustained a hard hit from the tornado, got up and dusted itself off and got back into business. Truly deserving of your support!

Ruibal’s Plants - Locally owned and managed with four (beautiful!) locations in Dallas. 

Books

Deep Vellum - A nonprofit publishing house and literary arts organization. Order books they’ve published through DeepVellum.org or request any book you want and they will order it for you through DeepVellum.com.

Half Price Books - OK, they’re a huge chain but they belong to Dallas.

Interabang - Another tornado recovery story, their online shopping system is quite robust.

Lucky Dog Books - Used book stores in Mesquite, Oak Cliff, and East Dallas. No online shopping site, but you can call or email requests to see if they have something you want in stock and they will ship it to you.

The Wild Detectives - To provide an online shopping experience, they’ve leveraged Bookshop.org, which offers a large selection, great service, and supports local bookstores with the proceeds of sales.

Pretty bonbons from Chocolate Secrets.

Chocolates

Cocoa Andre - This Mexican-American family-owned chocolate shop has Mexican chocolates, themed chocolate molds, vegan chocolate, bean to bar chocolates made in house and much more.

Chocolate Secrets - Hand-painted bonbons and truffles are the thing here. They also have a great selection of different chocolate Santas, Christmas trees and other fun holiday-themed chocolates.

Dude, Sweet Chocolate - Chef Katherine Clapner likes peculiar things and unique flavor combos and it shows (in a good way) in the delicious chocolates and treats she makes.

Kate Weiser Chocolate - Oprah made Kate Weiser’s “Carl the Snowman” famous. Handmade and beautifully painted candy bars are special here anytime and the holiday version is no exception.

Pre-pandemic in the gift shop at Nasher Sculpture Center.

Gift Shops/Flower Shops/Stationery

Abundantly Aromatic -  Soaps, body scrubs, Shea Butter lotions, and more all  handmade locally with all-natural ingredients.

Bettie Lou’s - Sister store to Froggie’s Five and Dime, they offer gift baskets online.

Dallas Museum of Art Gift Shop - Posters and postcards along with more practical items like umbrellas and tote bags to fill your life with art.

Lone Chimney Mercantile - Dallas-themed art, kitchen linens with salty sayings, fun accessories and gifts. Order gifts from their online store or choose art prints and canvases from the owner/photographer’s Etsy shop. 

Nasher Sculpture Center Gift Shop - There’s lots here from home goods to jewelry and accessories ranging from affordable to extravagant. 

The T Shop - East Dallas florist with a lovely gift selection.

White Rock Soap Gallery - Soaps, candles, bath and body products and more from more than 50 Texas makers.

Pets

Scotty’s Bowties - Pet bowties, bandanas and more.

Uptown Pet Wear - Doggie wear, leashes, harnesses and more.

Etsy Spring Bash 2018. Love, love, love these gals!!

Apparel and Accessories

Bullzerk - Undoubtedly the coolest store in Dallas, offering entertaining, Dallas-themed stuff. Shop online and consider checking out the Charity Shirts category to also support the Dallas Zoo and other charities.

Favor the Kind - Apparel, accessories, and gifts. Cyber sale thorough Monday.

Lucky Franklin - T-shirts, sweatshirts and more for dog and cat moms, plant lovers and other wonderful people.

Mosaic Makers - Multiple local makers under one roof (and in one online shop!)

Odin’s Leather Goods - Leather bags, belts, and bracelets are just a few of the offerings at this store that went from making products at their dining room table and selling them on Etsy to a  workshop space in Coppell.

Neighborhoods

Bishop Arts District - This website has links to many of the retailers in the Bishop Arts District. Use the links there to check out which ones offer online shopping.

Deep Ellum - Here’s where to shop in Deep Ellum.  Be sure to “Load More” at the bottom of the page to see them all.Use the links there to visit individual shops for online shopping links.

I bought one of these handmade totes from Lucky Franklin and then I won another one (full of locally made goodies) in a Boho Market giveaway a year or so later.

More suggestions:

Buy merchandise (T-shirts, hats, etc.) online from restaurants, bars, small music venues, coffee shops, breweries, distilleries and more. Just visit the full website of your favorite places and look for a link to “shop.” Or if you’re in a position where you can do so, look for a donation or GoFundMe link on their site and help out some of the hardest-hit places. They could use your support. 

Hardware stores under the True Value and Ace brands are usually locally owned and operated. My favorite is Rooster Home and Hardware because George the Rooster lives there. Online shopping is through TrueValue.com. I’m told Stones Ace Hardware in East Dallas has free beer while you shop.

Shop local from dozens of area makers at Etsy Dallas. Use the links on the page to go to the Etsy stores that interest you.

The State Fair of Texas has a holiday shopping site where you can buy State Fair souvenir gifts and shop from State Fair vendors and GoTexan merchants.

Also, here’s a large list of local businesses offering gift cards, compiled by the Dallas Morning News in cooperation with USA Today.

Next week my list of great gifts of wine and spirits from local producers and shops is coming to the Dallas Observer Food and Drink section. Stay tuned!!

#Dallas TheSmallerSide shoplocal smallbusinesssaturday DallasTX shopsmall supportlocalbusiness

[ourmomzone-blog]

When is Enough Enough When it Comes to Our Children - Birthdays and Holidays

Let's face it; our kids have it good - You can find pretty much everything you want in the world of children these days, fulfilling any dream they, or you, have ever had. Assuming you have the money, you can buy scaled-down versions of your clothes, brightly coloured techno-gadgets and even child sized, off-road cars and BMX bikes. There are those who don't have the cash, but don't hold back when it comes to their children. They max out the credit cards and don't worry about it until the New Year. However, when jobs are uncertain, the only practical thing to do is to make changes in how we spend. Out go the social lunches, the take-away cappuccinos and the personal trainer. It would be sensible to extend these cutbacks to our children and teach them a little about fiscal responsibility, but it's not as easily done as said. How people feel about themselves is often tied in with how well they think they are doing at parenting. Too often, and wrongly, that means what they are able to provide materially for their children.

Recession, what recession? - Surprisingly, considering all the doom and gloom we hear, there seem to be many families, with only one working parent and two cars in the driveway, who still manage annual passes to Legoland, two holidays a year planned around what "makes the children happy" and the requisite birthday bash with entertainer and designer cake. That's not me particularly, but I overspend in other ways. I'm sure you can relate. How many times have we headed to the shops to bargain-shop for something we actually need and come back home laden down with bags of cute clothing, the kid's magazines with the crap toy taped to the front cover, or an extra pair of Ugg boots for when their completely impractical white pair gets dirty. The reason given is usually something like "I knew she would love it. I couldn't leave it there." Listen to mothers talking in the school playground and it's clear that people tend to project their own desires onto their children. I'm probably just as guilty of that as anyone else. When we can't justify buying something for ourselves, we fulfil that acquisitive temptation by buying for them instead of ourselves.

The Social Minefield of Birthday Parties - It's with a mildly sicky-stomach feeling when I find envelopes in my children's school bags, out of which pop an average of two birthday invitations a week. I have a new modus operandi; encouraging my children to go only to the parties of friends with whom they actually play, and hoping that not everyone on our own invitation list will actually accept. I have tested the waters a few times with a firm but friendly "I'm sorry, she can't make it that day, but thanks for asking." Putting it into practice is another thing entirely, as I discovered one day while watching my 5-year old son's face as his classmates excitedly leave school for the party which we declined. He is really too young to understand my economy-led pragmatism and take it on himself without regret. While discussing the birthday situation at dinner one evening, we practically fell off our chairs laughing when he announced "You know, Mum, I always like a good party." No matter how careful I have to be, it's good to be reminded that it's not all about the money. For a child, it's about feeling included, getting carried away in the euphoria of celebration and eating cake before dinner. Actually, we adults could use a little of that kind of fun too.

Gifts Galore - Let's do some figures. If you have two children in primary school, in classes of 25 - 30 children, plus a handful of close friends from birth, it makes for a huge haul of birthday gifts entering your house and a considerable amount of money leaving your wallet. I don't want to sound either miserly or ungrateful, but I no longer shop for unique gifts for each of my children's friends unless they are "best." In an effort to cope, we have capped the amount we can spend, while still trying to find something current and of quality. Books, footballs, superhero t-shirts and art materials are a parent's dream and don't languish at the back of the cupboard.

For our own children, strict measures have also been put in place. After watching a friend's child casually toss aside each birthday gift received to see what was in the next package, we returned home and took a good look at what our own children have and don't use. The economical and ecological sides of me are particularly offended by plastic and battery operated waste. Since then, we have all survived no-toy two birthdays in favour of French and tennis lessons, a tree house and a trip to Paris. I wonder whether I am so hell-bent that my kids won't be spoiled by excess, that I actually lean too far into Scrooge-dom. Kids are so savvy these days, picking up on every trend. I understand that Hollister is the new must-have clothing brand and rainbow-hued IPods are ubiquitous. But I was completely unprepared to hear that young children are asking for, and receiving, Blackberries and IPhones for their birthdays.

Pass the Parcel - Have you heard the de-cluttering expert's advice that if you have anything in your closet that you haven't worn in one year, you should get rid of it? On TV, they put the unwanted clothing in a black bin bag and that goes straight down to the charity shop. Use the same principle with the kids. If children receive gifts they do not like, consider giving them to someone else who can get joy out of owning them. Last year my son received three identical Ben10 Omnitrixes because he had an alien-themed party. I suppose I could have tried to exchange two of them at ToysRUs or put them on eBay, but in truth, I find that a time-guzzling nightmare. Just pass the parcel. It's what every sane, budget conscious parent should do. Tell me that you have never recycled a gift to someone else; you'll win my raised eyebrow.

Searching around in the dark for solutions, we sometimes hit on a winner of an idea. We introduced ourselves to the pastor of a local church and joined him and some of his congregation on Christmas Eve wrap up boxes of food and presents from Santa for distribution to low income families. We brought the children so that they could understand how and why our own contribution would help others. I'm pleased to say that the older one "got it" and there were a lot of relevant questions; for a few weeks anyway. However, now when I have to talk to her about sharing, she reminds me of the time she played Secret Santa with her extra toys and games. I can't argue with that.

Note to Self: Don't expect adult reasoning from children. This reminds me of a birthday invitation my daughter received from the manager of our hotel while we were in Bermuda for an extended period of time. Her six year old asked that she receive donations to a hospital children's ward in lieu of presents. Wow! She was sensitive to the concept of charity, no doubt, because she is in a wheelchair herself. It didn't make much impression on our then 3 ½ year old, but I wonder if we could persuade her to do the same for her birthday next month. I could probably get away with it if I applied enough pressure, as she is a sensitive and caring child, but the gesture would really be a product of my adult value system, not hers. My nearly "double-digits" daughter is still innocently starry-eyed about the mystery of what she will receive from her best friends this year. I have no business messing with that.

Hurry Up and Wait - It's never too early for children to be introduced to the concept of giving, but my experience has been that they have a completely different idea than adults about what constitutes "enough" possessions. They aren't bothered by shelves and cupboards that bulge with puzzles, action figures, trinkets, stuffed animals, pictures, Lego pieces and thousands of felt-tip markers. It's the parents who have the agenda to 1) de-clutter, 2) guide their children to develop an understanding of value, and 3) make appropriate decisions. Either that or the parents make the decisions themselves, which influence their children's actions by example.

I am also reminded that birthdays and holidays are magical to children; days when they can be the centre of attention and have wishes come true. For me, and perhaps others, it's like a hurry up and wait scenario. I am keen to teach my children about overabundance, selflessness, budgets and sensibility, but perhaps in too much of a hurry. There are only so many years left that I will see the delight on their cake-smeared faces as they open presents and feel spoiled, for one or two days a year. I believe that they will learn when they are ready. I have to resist making everything into a learning experience and just let it be what it is.

Including Children in Financial Decision-Making is one way to teach them "value for money" principles without hitting them over the head with it. Put your heads together to decide on the size and venue of their birthday parties. Little by little, let children decide how much birthday money to put into a purchase and let them go up to the till with cash so they can see it disappear before their very eyes. Every opportunity they get to act independently feeds their confidence and empowers them to do it again. Celebrate their transaction with praise for their choices. Note their pride and happiness. At about eight years old, they can be given a reasonable budget for treats like magazines, trading cards and snacks. Within the year, they should be able to make decisions about buying birthday gifts for family and friends. They will quickly learn how to make their budget go further, by going for unbranded items or waiting to buy items on sale, just like we do.

[ellesheltonwalczak]

The Day After Christmas

You would think that all would be bright, After a very successful Christmas night.

But trouble was brewing, Because Mrs. Claus was stewing.

She approached her husband in his chair, with the utmost of care.

Content and resolved she would be making their New Year’s Eve call.

“Nick, we are going out for New Year’s Eve this year.” 

“Not this again. 

“Yes, this again.”

“I want to stay in. I’m so very tired, my dear. You have no idea what I go through. What with the months leading up to Christmas, let alone December with its constant disaster and risk aversion. Did you know that this year we had to remove over a thousand children (and I won’t even tell you about the number of adults) off of the Nice List because of what they did leading up to Christmas was so naughty? It canceled every good thing they had done throughout the year. But making those decisions are not easy. I had to call numerous meetings of our lead elves: our brand manager; communications and operations directors; and production and manufacture managers. We had to decide if holding back the gifts was a good idea, and its potential implications on me and Christmas in general, and forthcoming operations. Once we decided to move forward, that required production recall, which required last minute alteration to my sleigh bags, and...” 

Inside Mrs. Claus her anger was flaming, Corporate issues aside they were not for the blaming.

Hundreds of years and the stories were clear, Disasters come up this time year after year.

“I’ve heard all of this before. Different years but the challenges repeat themselves. It is no longer an excuse. You are taking me out for New Year’s Eve.”

“And where would we go?” 

“Harry’s.” 

“Harry’s? Oh no. You know we don’t see eye to eye on the whole religion thing and Christmas.”

“You’ve got a nerve using that as a reason. Your brand manager, or should I say managERS, haven’t equated Christmas with the birth of Jesus in who knows how long. I think the last was Madeleine if I recall correctly.”

“Don’t blame me! The world is changing. I..! We! Need to stay relevant.”

“You don’t see Harry compromising Hanukkah do you!? That doesn’t seem to be on the wane.”

“It’s easier for him! He has eight days of gifts, I only have one day to get it right. Plus he doesn’t have Naughty and Nice lists he has to abide to.”

“The lists were your business choices. Regardless. None of that matters! You both share the same month. It seems to be mostly your problem not Harry’s. He invites us to his New Year’s Eve party every year.”

“That’s because we never go! He wouldn’t invite us if he thought we were going to attend. Anyway, it’s not a real New Year’s Eve party. He doesn’t really celebrate New Year until the fall anyway.”

Santa felt good after those words of exclamation, He was going to stay in with teaming exhilaration. 

But a wife hindered is not to be ignored, She will always find a way to end what she abhors.

“Fine. Then we’ll go to Ely’s New Year’s Eve party.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Do you know what a raucous that is every year? The rumors.... My elfin staff passed out in Ely’s yard? Dirty Christmas limericks? No thank you! I have to work with those elves. I just assume they remain good people in my eyes.”

“They are good people....You, You... old curdled bowl of jelly!”

Strong words from his wife. They were in quite the fight.

“They want, and need, to let loose after some very highly stress filled months. That’s all! And quite frankly so do I!”

“What’s stressful for you?”

The question was wrong, and he knew at her sight. Her volume was rising, as well as his fright.

“You!!! You!!! Your bad moods and all. I take it! I fake it! The happiness and calm. You’re grouchy and angry the months before the day. I’m starting to hate Christmas by far and away.”

Then he saw her, with a new set of eyes.

“Let’s go to Harry’s, he’s a neat kind of guy.”

#adult fiction #short story #christmas story #christmas short story #santa #mrs claus #fiction #monthly story

[lilacmoon83]

All I Want For Christmas is You

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 5: The Christmas I Almost Lost You, Pt 1

It started off as a normal day; a normal Christmas Eve. David was up early and had another stakeout with Rogers that day, though he promised they'd be home that evening in time for Christmas Eve. Snow and Emma were up early with him, as their toddler was always the early riser as well. Being fourteen months old now, Emma was starting to get the gist of Christmas. Her eyes had been bright with joy, as they decorated their little family tree they had in the loft earlier in the month. She was absolutely enthralled by all the decorations around the city and was so excited when they had taken a drive last Sunday through the neighborhood to see all the Christmas lights. And of course, their little one was bursting at the seams with excitement with all the wrapped packages under the tree and Santa's pending arrival that evening. And while David went to work, Snow and Emma would be spending the day baking cookies for that evening's festivities.

"Mmmm...I wish you were staying home with me and Emma," Snow cooed, as he kissed her neck sensually.

"Me too," he replied in a husky tone. It may have been Christmas, but it was also their anniversary.

"But if you stay...I doubt we'll get anything done," she said. He chuckled.

"Yeah...remember last year when we, ah made the cookie dough together and then ended up getting busy in other ways on the sofa?" he replied, as he put his arms around her waist. She giggled. Oh she remembered that day fondly. Roni had taken Emma out for some last minute Christmas shopping that afternoon, leaving them to their own devices. They had been quite the sight when she returned a few hours later.

"You mean how Roni walked in on us, curled up together, eating the bowl of dough with only a blanket hiding the fact we had no clothes on?" she recalled. He chuckled.

"The look on her face was priceless...and annoyed," he joked. She hummed again, as he kissed her deeply.

"Okay...you better go or this is going to get indecent again," she said, as she prodded him toward the door.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he mused.

"Oh, not bad at all, just on pause...until tonight," she cooed, as she kissed him again and he finally made his way out. He couldn't wait for the day to be over already so he could come home to his beautiful wife and their precious baby girl.

The day progressed as normal, meaning that he and Rogers spent most of it in their car. There hadn't been a lot of progress in their investigation in past couple years, but there had recently been a lot of activity down at the docks and they thought there could be a possible arrest soon.

"There is he…" David said, as their target walked out of the Blanchard Industries Cannery.

"Arthur King...right on time. You sure he's one of Blanchard's top men?" Rogers questioned.

"That's what the Intel says...and I trust my source. Lance wouldn't lead me wrong...he's been friends with Snow for a long time," David answered. They watched Arthur hand off a case to another contact, whom David vaguely recognized as a gopher in Spencer's network. The gopher then handed off a case to Arthur. The dark haired man checked it and they leaned to see what was inside. Rogers took his camera and zoomed in, eyeing what appeared to be bags of white powder.

"We've got him…" David said.

"Easy mate...not quite," Rogers advised, as he snapped the pictures.

"I know Arthur is the head of this drug ring...he's behind the spike, I can feel it. Lance says he's overseeing the manufacturing of this new brand secretly in the cannery. He said Arthur is calling it Avalon Mist. It's twice as potent as cocaine and overdoses have doubled on this stuff. The hallucinogen properties in this stuff is also off the charts," David explained.

"And I believe your source...but I want to see where he goes next," Rogers said.

"Me too...but following him is risky. I have a feeling though he'll lead us to bigger fish," David agreed.

"As do I...it is risky, but I'm in if you are," Rogers said. David nodded.

"Follow him," he agreed, as they did so, with Rogers using all the tricks he knew to make it seem like they weren't following. Arthur was leading them right into the richest neighborhood in Seattle and David's nerves were on edge. He couldn't believe that it might actually happen. They might not only arrest Arthur King...but Leopold Blanchard as well.

"I don't bloody believe it...King must be losing his touch. He drove right to the Blanchard mansion," Rogers said, as he parked a few houses down.

"Maybe he's been dipping into his own mist," David quipped, until there was a knocking on his window and they saw that they were surrounded by Blanchard's thugs, who were armed with guns. Rogers sighed.

"Or perhaps this whole thing was a trap for us," he muttered, as they got out of the car, putting their hands up, as they were led into the Blanchard mansion.

Snow hummed a Christmas tune, as she rolled out the sugar cookie dough and prepared it use their cookie cutters on. Emma sat next to her in her highchair, watching her mother with avid interest.

"Okay sweetheart...it's time to use the cookie cutters," she cooed, as she lifted her into her arms and then picked the Christmas tree shaped cutter.

"Twee?" Emma asked.

"Yeah...that's right sweetie," Snow replied, as she put the cutter down on the dough and then took Emma's hand. And with her mother's help, they pushed down on the dough and cut the shape.

"There...you did it!" Snow praised, as Emma clapped her hands.

"Well...I see I'm just in time," Roni said, as she entered the loft with a sack. She was in charge of the frosting and decorations for the cookies.

"Ni?" Emma called, as she tried to say Roni, but it always came out as Ni.

"Yeah...Ni is here, sweetheart," Roni cooed, as she took her from Snow and cuddled.

"You are getting so big," she said fondly and Snow smiled.

"I know...I wish she'd stay this size forever," Snow said.

"Well, you know...as much as I don't want to know the details, you and David could always get busy on number two. God knows you two practice enough," Roni teased, enjoying how her sister's cheeks colored.

"We haven't really talked about number two yet," Snow mused.

"You didn't talk about Emma and here she is, despite birth control," Roni said bluntly.

"Okay...new subject and let's get back to the cookies," Snow replied, as her phone rang and she answered it.

"Hello?" she answered and Roni became concerned when she dropped the phone in shock.

"What's wrong?" Roni asked.

"Turn on the laptop…" Snow uttered, as she did so and the horrible face of Leopold Blanchard filled the screen.

"Hello daughter…" he greeted.

"What have you done…" Snow hissed.

"It is your foolish husband that has been harassing my operation and he has finally gone too far," Leopold responded, as he stepped aside and let them see that he had both David and Rogers tied to chairs. Rogers had a black and bruises on his face. And David had a split lip and bruises as well.

"David…" she uttered.

"Killian…" Roni said fearfully.

"I am at the end of my rope with your defiance, my dear Mary...and your husband is going to pay the price," he threatened, as she saw Arthur put a gun to David's head.

"No...no please! I'll do whatever you want...please don't kill him," Snow begged, as her knees nearly buckled.

"Snow...I love you. I love you and Emma so much…" he said tearfully and she sobbed almost uncontrollably.

"You will come home then, Mary...and take your place by my side. Or your husband dies…" he threatened, as the screen went dark. Snow nearly collapsed to her knees, but Roni caught her.

"I have to go...you have to stay with Emma," she sobbed.

"Like hell...I'm going with you. Rogers is in there too. We'll leave Emma with Lacey," she said, as they gathered her up and took her downstairs.

"Lacey...where is your husband? He's not answering his phone," Roni asked urgently.

"He said he had a big interrogation today...it's probably off," Lacey replied.

"Dammit...David and Rogers are in trouble. Can you stay with Emma?" she asked.

"Of course," Lacey replied, alarmed by the fact that Snow was a hysterical mess. She took the baby and watched the two women rush out of the bar, before dialing her husband. But it went straight to voicemail.

"You need to turn on your phone...the boys are in trouble…" she said, leaving the voicemail and hoped he would get it in time...

#Snowing #SnowxCharming #Charming family #Hyperion Heights AU #Roni #Weaver #Lacey #Rogers #Alice #romance #adventure #family #Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

[lodelss]

Sarah Trent | Longreads | November 2019 | 22 minutes (4,920 words)

Jack Thomas was home in time for dinner, but he wasn’t really home. His head was still in the fire, gnawing on the details of what his strike team had accomplished, hazards they’d found, a care facility they’d partially saved from the flames. For 19 hours of their nine-day deployment, his team had fought to save those 25 senior apartments, which had somehow been spared when the wildfire tore through town. Thomas knew that if they could stop the fire at the building’s central atrium, these homes would stay standing. And they did.

Walking through his front door, in a suburban Santa Rosa, California, neighborhood the weekend before Thanksgiving, Thomas still smelled of smoke.

He had dinner with his wife, shared photos from the fire, and talked through their holiday plans. Afterward, he unfurled parcel maps across the table while his bags waited, packed, on the couch. After more than a week fighting the most destructive wildfire in California history, the Santa Rosa fire captain had just a few hours to study the maps and get some rest: His deployment on a fire crew was over, but hundreds of people were missing, and FEMA’s Urban Search and Rescue Task Force #4 needed someone to help manage the search.

Thomas set his alarm for 3 a.m. He was going back to Paradise.

That night, the next morning, and for many days after, trained search and rescue professionals and volunteers from across California and beyond drove into the smoldering heart of catastrophe. The Camp fire, which started the morning of November 8, 2018, and within hours had overtaken the town of Paradise, was unprecedented: in size, pattern, intensity, damage, and number of people missing, which climbed as high as 1,300. It required the largest search in state history — in conditions few of the searchers were trained for. But to leaders like Thomas, it seemed a portent of things to come: Wildfires are becoming more common and worse. And other disasters are, too.

Rachel Allen got to Paradise two days before Thomas, after dark on Friday, November 16, joining the first wave of volunteer searchers responding to the call for mutual aid. It was the earliest she could arrive, leaving her postdoc research behind for the weekend. A member of the Bay Area Mountain Rescue (BAMRU) team since 2012, she has deployed to dozens of searches across the state, usually for one person missing in the wilderness: a snowshoer lost in a storm, a hiker injured and stuck off-trail, or a person with Alzheimer’s who wandered away from home.

She and her team spend hundreds of unpaid hours each year practicing specialized search and rescue skills. But in Paradise, little of their training in snow conditions, rope systems, or tracking was relevant. Allen wore a white Tyvek suit over her hiking boots and learned how to identify what was typically the only trace of people who hadn’t escaped the blaze: small fragments of bone.

When Thomas arrived Sunday morning, just in time for the morning briefing, searchers in a rainbow of high-viz red and orange agency-branded jackets filled the Tall Pines Entertainment Center parking lot: county search teams, mountain rescue teams, law enforcement, the National Guard, all ready for the day’s assignments.

Thomas joined the fray with USAR Task Force #4 — one of 28 teams in the nation equipped for large-scale disaster relief. Most USAR members, like Thomas, are professional firefighters. On top of a grueling season fighting record-setting wildfires, this was his team’s third urban search deployment in as many months. They’d been to the sites where Hurricane Florence made landfall that September. Where Michael had hit in October. And now this. 

New kinds of disasters require new response plans and training, and bigger ones need more people who know what to do.

All weekend, the air was thick with smoke and a pervasive otherworldliness. “If you had told me I was on Mars, I’d be like, ‘OK, right,’” Allen told me. She searched for two days, mostly in silence, wearing a mask she had to remove to speak. Her hiking boots sank with every step into ash up to eight inches deep. The sky was a murky orange. Trees were still green. Everything else was gray. It was a town like any other. But everything had changed.

In 2018, wildfires swept not only California, Australia, and Greece, but also the colder, wetter landscapes of England, Ireland, and Sweden. Kerala, India, was hit by one of the worst floods ever recorded, killing more than 500 people; a heat wave hospitalized 22,000 in Japan; and a series of tropical storms and typhoons affected more than 10 million across the Philippines. A bomb cyclone slammed the U.S. Northeast. Avalanches crushed Colorado. Mudslides buried Montecito, California. Record-breaking hurricanes battered the Southeast. As of this writing, what has come to be known as “fire season” is well underway in California, and fires blaze in New South Wales and Queensland, Australia. 

To climate scientists, the pattern of increasing extremes comes as no surprise — it’s in line with projections for life on a warming planet. And at 1.5 degrees Fahrenheit above average, according to NASA, 2018 was one of the hottest years on record. 2019 is on track to be hotter.

When disaster strikes, rescuers like Thomas and Allen drive toward the danger the rest of us are desperate to escape. They’re trained to find us when we’re stuck somewhere — lost, injured, or worse. But a changing planet has raised the stakes: Avalanches, tornadoes, fires, and floods fill news cycles with counts of the missing and cell phone footage of neighborhoods turned to wilderness. The U.N. warns that climate catastrophes are now happening once a week across the globe. And unpredictable shoulder seasons — the busiest months for search and rescue calls — are getting longer. New kinds of disasters require new response plans and training, and bigger ones need more people who know what to do.

Search and rescue teams train for the worst conditions. But the worst conditions are getting worse. Search teams are stretched. Rescuers are burning out. We are all less safe.

***

On a May 2013 day in Naujaat, in the Canadian province of Nunavut — an Inuit hamlet known at the time as Repulse Bay — the local search and rescue team was called after a nearby traveler activated an emergency GPS beacon. It was a day with almost 18 hours of sunlight, but blizzard conditions postponed the search.

The call itself was unremarkable — Nunavut search and rescue records are full of similar reports: emergency signals turned on in harsh weather, hunters who’ve run out of gas, a group trapped by moving ice. Nearly everyone is brought home safe. But one trend is nonetheless alarming: In 2016, researchers showed that search and rescue calls in the province had doubled over a decade.

The reasons were complex. More powerful boats and snowmobiles carried hunters, fishers, and travelers farther from safety; people’s preparedness for harsh conditions had not kept pace with their ability to travel so far; high costs to maintain equipment led to makeshift repairs and more frequent breakdowns. But one factor stood out: As the Arctic warms — and it’s warming faster than anywhere else on earth — weather and ice conditions have become less and less predictable. 

“It’s the perfect storm” for accidents and the ensuing calls for rescue, researcher Dylan Clark told a Canadian Senate committee in 2018. And this storm is anything but localized.

In Iceland, where tourism is booming and glacier driving tours are popular, the ice is melting, opening crevasses that threaten vehicles and people. A woman died in 2010 after falling into one with her 7-year-old son just a short distance from a tour jeep. 

In the Alps, retreating glaciers have changed popular climbing routes, increasing exposure and difficulty on nearly all alpine climbs. Where there once was snow, there’s now ice. Where there once was permafrost, there’s now unstable rock. One catastrophic rockfall in Bondo, Switzerland, killed eight hikers in 2017. Their bodies were never found.

Search and rescue teams train for the worst conditions. But the worst conditions are getting worse.

Eddy Cartaya, a Portland Mountain Rescue volunteer and expert on glacier cave exploration and rescue, says that across the Pacific Northwest, more and more people are exploring the backcountry. Outdoor equipment is better and less expensive than ever, cultural interest in the outdoors is surging, and longer summers mean more access to beautiful, wild places. 

Normally, “deep snow-pack insulates some of these locations from inexperienced people,” Cartaya said. But that’s changing. Hiking into areas with now-melting glaciers — in which ice caves are prone to sudden collapse, volcanic gas-filled fumaroles are becoming exposed, and flash floods of glacial melt can occur on the bluest of bluebird days — even an expert outdoorsperson is more likely to run into trouble.

Many of these hazards are new to rescuers, too, making operations riskier for everyone. Now, Cartaya said, his team trains in glacier caves — areas most mountaineers spend their entire careers trying to avoid. After two rescues in noxious fumaroles, the team has purchased new equipment to measure crevasses for hydrogen sulfide. And with a higher volume of calls than ever before — to a group of volunteers in an industry where burnout is already high (few last more than a couple of years) — they’ve increased their recruitment efforts, tripling their most recent cohort of trainees.

But you don’t need to be a backpacker, hunter, or mountaineer heading deep into the wilderness to require rescue from a disaster compounded by climate change. Increasingly, that disaster is coming to us.

In Switzerland, rockslides have buried villages and stranded residents. In Alabama, devastating tornadoes have cut swaths through towns and neighborhoods. Across the Midwest, floods have done the same. In Florida, Mexico, and the Caribbean, residents have evacuated from record hurricane after record hurricane. And all of this, according to climate scientists, is at least partially attributable to a warming planet, in which ice is melting at record speed and rising levels of atmospheric water are strengthening storms and producing unprecedented rainfall. 

While the Eastern U.S. is inundated with water, the Western states suffer without it: As temperatures rise, the snowpack melts faster and forests dry out. By late summer, much of California is a tinderbox. Any spark — lightning, a barbecue, a faulting power line — can set the whole thing off.

***

Ten of the 20 most destructive wildfires in California’s history have occurred since 2015. They include the two most destructive (2018 Camp and 2017 Tubbs fires), the two largest (2018 Mendocino Complex and 2017 Thomas fires), and the deadliest by far: In Paradise, searchers found 85 people dead. Two remain missing. This is more than the previous three deadliest fires combined.

For Thomas and his team, the Camp fire set another kind of record and, leaders believe, a precedent: It was the first time FEMA USAR teams had ever been called to a fire. Thomas and others doubt it will be the last. The federal program, which launched in 1991, was designed primarily to respond to catastrophic earthquakes. But as the nature of disasters has evolved, USAR task forces have too. In 1994, teams deployed to the Northridge quake in Los Angeles. A year later, to the Oklahoma City bombing, and in 2001, to downtown Manhattan after the World Trade Center attack. 

In 2005, all 28 teams went to Hurricane Katrina, and as the size and severity of hurricanes have increased since, so have the calls to USAR: Sandy in 2012. Matthew in 2015. Harvey, Irma, and Maria in 2017; Florence and Michael a year later; Dorian this fall.

Thomas went to most of them. “We’re in the water business now,” he said. And the fires? “I totally think that’s going to be in our scope now.”

As a firefighter of more than 30 years who fought the 2017 Tubbs Fire in his own city and countless more around the state, Thomas knows firsthand the ways wildland fires have changed. “It never used to be like this,” he said. When he first started, he’d go to one, maybe two “mutual aid” calls (that is, requests to help other agencies) per season, fighting wildland fires to the scale of around 10,000 acres. “Since 2015 it’s just been non-stop with these major fires,” he said. 

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In 2018, between USAR calls and wildland fire response, Thomas spent 75 days working outside Santa Rosa County, including 21 days in a row at the Mendocino Complex fire. When he came home from that blaze — which burned nearly 460,000 acres before it was finally contained — he had just enough time to move his daughter to college before he was deployed again.

“It pulls on your heartstrings to go help,” he said. But every time he arrives at base camp for another wildland fire, he sees the same guys, grim with fatigue.

“You can see it in guy’s eyes,” he told me. “It seems like it’s more and more and more and more.” Between fighting fires around the state, flying east for hurricane missions, and expecting that USAR’s scope will grow, the effort is not sustainable, he said. “But you know the thing is, who are you going to call? With the amount of missing residents, the amount of destroyed homes — who’s going to do that work?”

Headquarters for Thomas’s team — one of eight in California — is tucked between I-880 and the train tracks in East Oakland, behind a city vehicle maintenance facility. On a cold March morning, a dozen men and women in dark shirts and caps emblazoned with their agency logos — Pittsburg Fire, Sonoma Fire, Contra Costa Fire — ambled from room to room, catching up and collecting signatures for their annual reorientation exercise. 

Each member checked the fit of their issued full-face air mask, re-upped their baseline EKG test, and verified, essentially, that they knew the drill: Every checkpoint is a step they’ll repeat in the hours before an actual deployment. In the garage, Thomas signed off on helmet fits and asked each member if their go-bag was ready. 

“97 you said?” He searched for Tracey Chin’s duffel among the hundreds of numbered red bags on the shelves surrounding the garage. He found it and pulled it down, and she unzipped the pockets to inspect what was inside. She checked the size of the clothing, in case it had changed, and the toothpaste’s expiration date. The team has just four hours to deploy when a call for mutual aid comes in, and they must be prepared for 72 hours of self-sufficiency. The “creature comforts,” as Chin calls these basic necessities, are nearly as important as a tightly sealed air mask.

She zipped the bag closed over carefully folded T-shirts, and Thomas snapped a red plastic lock seal through the zipper pull. Her mask fit. Her photo had been taken. Her sign-off sheet was full. Chin was ready to deploy.

And this team fully expects to — though until recently, that was far from their norm.

“We went eight years without deploying,” said Oakland Battalion Chief Robert Lipp, who leads the task force. But since 2017, they’ve fielded six calls. Now, come autumn, when hurricane and wildland fire seasons are both in full swing, he said he’s “more surprised if we don’t go somewhere than if we do.” 

To climate scientists, the pattern of increasing extremes comes as no surprise — it’s in line with projections for life on a warming planet.

As the need for rescuers goes up, the whole response system is stretched thin. Two Southern California USAR teams, which largely pull on members from one fire department each, were undeployable for USAR calls last fall while wildfires raged in Riverside and Orange counties. The Oakland team is more insulated from that pressure: Its 230 members — enough for three full rescue units — come from 15 different departments. The team has never had to turn down a call for mutual aid, Lipp said. “But we’ve been awful close.”

“When there’s a disaster, we all want to go.” But, he added, “anyone who says it’s not worsening is not paying attention.”

***

On the first day of SAR-Basic — required for anyone who hopes to join Bay Area Mountain Rescue — 15 recruits listened and took notes as veteran members explained the weekend training. Wearing an array of technical fleeces and down coats, it was obvious that they were the newbies: Every sworn-in member wore a red jacket — BAMRU patch on one shoulder and the San Mateo County Sheriff star on the chest — to insulate against the early morning chill.

The first lesson in every emergency response training — from first aid through wilderness paramedicine — is the same, though every teacher has their own way to phrase it: The most important person at the scene is you; don’t let someone else’s emergency become your own; your safety comes first. Adrenaline and the powerful urge to help someone in need can be difficult to overcome — and dangerous to everyone. 

Under the county park picnic shelter, Nathan Fischer sat atop a long wooden table, his gray waffle fleece and close-cropped beard blending into this year’s cohort of mostly twentysomething men. With one leg casually folded, he absorbed the morning lectures. He, like everyone seated around him, was there in part to fulfill that urge to help. “Other people adopt kittens or mentor kids,” he told me. “I’m awful with kids, but maybe I can stop the bleeding.”

An instructor addressed the group. “The first rule of search and rescue,” he said, “is don’t create more subjects.”

This year’s safety talk was unusually personal for the team. Just months earlier, a Ventura County mountain rescuer was killed and two teammates were injured in a storm while trying to help the victims of a rollover crash. The team was en route to a training exercise. The roads were slick. Another vehicle lost control.

At every training station at SAR-Basic, the safety talk was reinforced. Fischer and the other recruits learned to perform a fine grid search, crawling shoulder to shoulder looking for shell casings in the dirt and leaves — while also scanning for poison oak. They learned how to load and carry a person in a titanium-frame litter — along with effective communication to spread the load, and to lift and move as one. Navigation skills, radio skills, tracking skills. And then, finally, a mock search.

Fischer, leading a team of three, talked his group through the details of the briefing. Two trail runners were missing. Their team had been assigned a trail to search. They grabbed a radio and a map and set out for the trail, flanked by mentors.

’It’s the perfect storm’ for accidents and the ensuing calls for rescue.

The mock search is an audition of sorts, at which members and the soon-to-be can feel out their future colleagues. Trust, teamwork, and leadership are as important as technical skill and search savvy. Those who are accepted to train with BAMRU will start deploying on calls as soon as they wish: Trainees join searches while they work through a long list of skill sign-offs and training exercises that typically take a year to complete. The best lessons — and the hardest — will come in the field.

After a morning of searching for the “missing” runners, Fischer’s team broke for lunch. Mentor Eric Chow — just a year into his own tenure on the team — knew that the action would soon pick up. He pulled Fischer aside. “What do you have for PPE?” Chow asked, using shorthand for personal protective equipment — namely, in this case, nitrile gloves. Fischer had none. Chow found a pair in his radio chest harness and handed them over. 

Then the radio blared, cutting into the quiet on the trail. Another team had found the last missing subject. Fischer looked at the map. They were close. When they arrived on scene, his wilderness medical training kicked in. He went straight toward the subject — a woman who had fallen off-trail and injured her leg — and joined another rescuer assessing her injuries. He removed her shoe and checked the circulation in her foot.

Uphill, proctors were watching. One of them whispered: “Where are his gloves?”

Blood is a hazard. Smoke is a hazard. Needles, nails, cornices, rocks, hypoxic subjects, moving vehicles. The powerful urge to help someone can come at profound personal cost. Forgetting safety precautions in an exercise merely means failure. Being without them in the field can mean creating more subjects. 

Physical safety is paramount, but psychological preparation is important as well: The emotional costs can be just as high.

This team typically deploys to difficult, far-away searches — ones that have already gone on for days without success. Stopping the bleeding (or rescue at all) is not usually involved: Often, they recover bodies.

Veteran team member Alice Ng is haunted by the search for a young mountaineer crushed by an avalanche. The recovery of a body brings closure to everyone, but this one hit her hard: The traumatic stop of this boy’s life, while doing something she might have done too; his family, walking in circles around the airfield, with nothing to do but wait. The day after finding him, while chopping vegetables for dinner, she suddenly broke down in tears. The task was so normal, she told me: “That can be taken away from you so quickly.”

For Eric Chow, one of the mentors who took part in the mock rescue, one search near Lake Tahoe was especially memorable. “We were in our element there,” he remembered. It was high angle, high altitude, in avalanche conditions, a search for one missing person. It was everything this team trains for. The Paradise fire, on the other hand, felt like the opposite. There were scores of bodies reduced to bone fragments, cesspits hidden under the ash, and “widowmakers” — the precarious branches of burned trees — that could fall at any moment. “We don’t know any of those hazards,” he said.

***

It’s difficult to plan or train for what’s never been experienced before, and in climate-influenced disasters, nothing is as it was. The Camp fire was apocalyptic. Michael St. John, long-time leader of Marin Search and Rescue and newly retired from the Mill Valley Fire Department, deployed to Paradise on day five of the blaze to help Butte County search coordinators and state search and rescue leaders wrap their collective heads around organizing such a massive search.

“What’s your PPE plan?” he recalled asking the leaders at search command. He knew they’d need air masks. Tyvek. Steel-shanked boots if they could find them fast enough. And decontamination facilities. When a forest burns, the smoke is dangerous. When a city burns — with all its plastics, paints, chemicals, and more — it’s deadly. If not today, then perhaps years from now when the cancers start growing, St. John said. And while many teams like BAMRU and Marin SAR have limited county insurance for in-field accidents, volunteers don’t get workers’ compensation. They just get sick.

You don’t need to be a backpacker, hunter, or mountaineer heading deep into the wilderness to require rescue from a disaster compounded by climate change. Increasingly, that disaster is coming to us.

From search headquarters at the Tall Pines bowling alley, where cots were set up in the bar and a rec room was converted to mission command, St. John searched Amazon for boots. A dozen deputies raided every Home Depot in the Central Valley for supplies. The National Guard was called to set up mass decontamination tents. 

On the first day of the search, central command ran out of P-100 masks, which offer more protection than the N-95 masks the public was encouraged to wear. Some rescuers who couldn’t get masks in the first days of the search, before donations poured in, turned around and went home. The air was so thick with smoke and particulate matter that it choked out even the sun. Just a few hours in Paradise was too much for some: The personal risk was just too great.

Over the week, St. John and search leaders troubleshot challenges. They had state, county, and federal resources at their disposal, and while every one of them was trained in the same incident command structure — a logistics and hierarchy system built to scale to any emergency — each group had its own culture, communications, and even GIS mapping systems. 

Leaders struggled to manage the growing list of missing people — and to commit enough resources to sort all 1,300 reports, winnow out redundancies, and narrow the search. As best they could under pressure, they integrated lessons from failures along the way, improving the system a little bit more every day.

And every day, the massive search continued across 240 square miles, where homes, stores, schools, and retirement homes — more than 18,000 structures in all — were now gone. Just the grid of streets remained, along with stone, metal, and randomly spared objects. Chimneys stood like sentries. So did radiators. Mailboxes. The intricate metalwork of a headboard. Cars had melted by the roadside, their metal shells resolidified as river-flows on pavement. 

As a USAR search manager, Thomas worked “forward reconnaissance,” evaluating structures and triaging search efforts before larger teams were assigned to move through. Allen, with BAMRU, led one of those teams, each member carrying a shovel or rake. In full, hooded Tyvek, with double-canistered P-100 masks on or around their necks, they searched house by house, block by block, using rake tines to pick through the dense mixture of ash and nails and metal debris.

They’d been trained on arrival to look for one thing only: yellowed or charred fragments of bone, just inches long, and barely recognizable.

They searched most carefully near the remains of beds. The fire had begun around 6:30 a.m., and by 8, it had rushed into Paradise. Mattress coils were easy to spot. Bathrooms were recommended as focus areas, too, but toilets were harder to find. Somehow, Allen said, most of them were gone.

On Sunday afternoon, on their last assignment of the day, Allen led eight BAMRU members to Cape Cod Mobile Estates, two miles up the road from search command. The sign was intact at the entrance, and the office was still mostly standing. They parked on the H-shaped road of the park, where every other structure had been flattened, their corrugated metal roofs collapsed onto the nothingness of ash. The group moved through quickly, in pairs, spending a few minutes at each structure before they focused on two that a deputy requested. As they finished each search, one member spray-painted an X on the driveway: standard communication in bright orange paint. At the top of the X, the date. At the bottom, a zero. No bodies found.

It’s difficult to plan or train for what’s never been experienced before, and in climate-influenced disasters, nothing is as it was.

Allen drove home that night with teammates, her Prius covered in gray, toxic ash. Once home, she struggled to explain the experience. The fires are too big, she’d told her friends and, later, me. The resources — masks and people and insurance coverage — are just not going to be enough, she said. “Now I know how the world ends.”

A few days later, Thomas went home to channel everything he had left into hosting 20 guests for Thanksgiving. When the last one left, he collapsed. For two whole days, he felt awful, and it took weeks to recover. Next year, he told his wife, he’ll turn down some of the calls. But that’s easy to say in the off-season — that annual period of rest which is, of course, getting shorter.

***

Months after the fire, on a sunny day in April, Michael St. John, enjoying retirement, was home from an early morning run up Mount Baldy. His neighborhood — and all of Marin County — was lush and green from heavy winter rains, and while fire danger was no doubt out of mind for most, it was weighing on his. California, after all, doesn’t stay green for long. He searched the state website from his couch, and even he was shocked to see that the first wildland fires of the year had already begun — weeks ahead of normal. 

St. John worries that the lessons from Paradise can’t be integrated fast enough: The season is too much of a crush. He worries about the Santa Ana winds — those northeasterly gusts that every autumn fan the flames. He worries that his county, too, is at risk.

When I asked him where he most worries about being affected by future wildland-urban fires, he climbed onto a table to read the small print on a huge wall map of California. He ran one finger up the entire eastern edge of the Central Valley, reading out the name of every major town it crossed. Porterville. Mariposa. Sonora. Placerville. This state was built to burn.

The Santa Ana winds are blowing again. National Weather Service meteorologists have called this season’s gusts dangerous, extreme, and historic. Across the state, vegetation is parched, humidity is low, temperatures have hit record highs,  and some 60 miles north of St. John’s kitchen table, Sonoma County is smoldering. At the height of the October Kincade blaze, the evacuation zone covered some 180,000 people. 78,000 acres are black.  The latest Predictive Services report, released November 1, says large fire potential could last through the end of the year.

And in the Atlantic and Mediterranean, major storms are brewing. In Japan, Washington state, and the Gaza Strip, flood banks are breaking. Everywhere, rocks and mud and gas are being freed from the ice. And every town, like Paradise one year ago, is on a precipice: It’s a place like any other, in a world that has already changed.

***

Sarah Trent is a freelance journalist covering the environment, food systems, economic development, and the ways everyday people around the world are affected by the climate crisis and environmental degradation.

Editor: Kelly Stout Fact checker: Steven Cohen Copy editor: Jacob Gross

#IFTTT #Blogger

[michaelfallcon]

Coffee Subsriptions We Love To Drink From Home

There’s a chance we may be headed towards a nationwide shutdown of bars, restaurants, and yes, coffee shops in response to Coronavirus, an action that has already been instituted in certain US states to help  flatten the curve and save lives.

Until that happens you need to tip, dammit, and buy gift cards, and watch for companies in your community converting to take-out, drive-thru, and delivery (follow us on Twitter for updates). But another very wonderful thing you can do to support the coffee industry right now is to buy coffee online.

You need coffee now, but you’ll need it again in a week, or a month, which is why coffee subscriptions are so hot right now. With this in mind we’ve put together a nice big list of coffee subscriptions we know to be excellent. Some are in America, others are not. All are operated by humans. This list includes a few of our sponsors, whose support makes our daily publishing work at Sprudge possible, as well as many other indie roasters we admire.

This is just a start—comments to this post are open and we’d love to hear from you on more of your favorite subscription options. Share this post with your family and friends—we’ve been sure to include a broad range of roast profiles and price points for every coffee drinker you love—and watch for more stories like this from us in the coming hours.

Amavida Coffee — Santa Rosa, Florida 

The folks at Amavida offer not one, not two, but three distinct coffee subscription options: the Trekker, Espresso, and Reserve. Each one ships monthly and serves Amavida’s Certified B Corp mission of “empowering coffee-growing communities around the globe.”

Belleville Brulerie — Paris, France

One of the best damn roasters in France is also home to a charming monthly subscription option! Choose from 1, 2, or 3 “sachets” of coffee (tres chic) alongside discovery cards and brewing tips. These subscriptions can even be given as gifts, which is a very nice thing to consider doing in these strange times. Please note this subscription is only available for EU readers.

Counter Culture Coffee — United States of America

Counter Culture helped build the third wave, and are found behind the bar at fine coffee shops, restaurants and bars all across the country, roasted in the Bay Area and Durham, North Carolina. You can get that goodness delivered to your door in subscription form, with a range of options including blends, decaf, and an ever-changing single origin offering. This is one of the most customizable subscriptions we’ve come across in terms of cadence and selection—perfect for a big family with lots of coffee needs.

Dark Arts Coffee — London, United Kingdom

I’m supposed to be in London right now. Oh, it was to be glorious—a little bit of leisure time with an away message on the ol’ email before hopping back in to work at the London Coffee Festival. I was going to eat funny sounding British food and Paul Hollywood-esque pastries, and walk around a lot. Obviously this was not to be, but one can capture a bit of London in the form of a recurring subscription from Dark Arts Coffee, who are happy to ship to the UK, the EU, or “everywhere else on this here flat earth.” Check out their subscription here, their coffee is very good.

Dogwood Coffee — Minneapolis, Minnesota

Dogwood is the best, basically. Not only do they offer some of our favorite cafe experiences in the country, and really one of the industry’s best approaches to deeply felt graphic design and merch, they also have a smart set of subscription options including blends, single origins, and a bulk pay buy—prepay $150 for a 6 month set-up, including shipping.

Go Get Em Tiger — Los Angeles, California

Get a single origin! Get an espresso blend! Get a single origin but have it roasted, you know, a little longer! Customize your subscription monthly, fortnightly, or up to four bags a week, in case you want to pig out on coffee, you little coffee pig. While they aren’t currently shipping the cheeseburger nationwide they are shipping coffee, and that’s pretty good.

Intelligentsia — Chicago, Illinois and nationwide

The team at Intelligentsia more or less invented the “Direct Trade” approach to coffee buying, developing long term and oftentimes exclusive relationships with coffee producers around the world, with ongoing projects in places like Mexico, Nicaragua, and Ethiopia. Coffees like the brand’s iconic Black Cat espresso and Borealis house blend are better known, but Intelli’s single origin Direct Trade coffees (like this Peru COE Special Selection or the Rwanda Zirikana) are capable of scaling flavor and quality heights.

Intelli’s subscription offering can be narrowed down by flavor preference or individual offerings; you can select whole bean (always recommended) or choose from a range of pre-grind specifications; you can choose which day of the week you’d like the subscription to ship, how many bags, and how often. You can even opt for a tea subscription alongside coffee, from Intelli’s in-house Kilogram Tea sub-label. Use this as an excuse to poke around Intelligentsia’s website and read more about the people who grew, harvested, and expertly processed these remarkable coffees, and sign up for their newsletter to receive discount offers.

Joe Coffee — New York City 

It’s so important that we support New York right now, a city whose unique urban density and global nature makes it especially impacted by Coronavirus. Supporting Joe Coffee is a vote for supporting the city, so deeply coupled are their identities. Joe is offering 20% your first 3 subscription shipments using code HOMEBREW through March 31st, which means a nice savings on espresso blend, house blend, and single origin subscription packages. While I cannot currently visit the UWS Joe for an iced latte and take it for a stroll through the nice quiet part of Central Park, I can daydream of doing so, which I will as soon as this article is done, and I can support them by drinking their coffee at home.

KaffeBox — Norway

America’s obsession with Scandinavian minimalist design and magazines that look like Kinfolk may finally at last be waning, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater—Scandinavia is still home to some incredible indie coffee roasters. Each month the team at KaffeBox assembles a subscription delivery featuring a different Nordic roaster, shipped direct to you anywhere in the world. If you’re someone like me who hedonistically loves drinking lots of different roasters all the time, this is like the dream subscription. I’m not planning to fly to Oslo anytime soon but KaffeBox brought Supreme Roastworks to me this month, and their coffee is lovely. Other recently featured roasters like The Coffee Collective, Per Nordby, and Jacobsen og Svart are no slouch either. There’s even now an optional chocolate pairing, which sounds great today, I’m not going to lie.

Never again do I desire to sit in another minimal nü-Nordic dining room for a dinner of lingonberry foam riffs and reindeer sweetmeats, thanks, but I’m still super here for good indie Scandinavian roasters like the ones amplified and shipped globally by KaffeBox. Highly recommended.

Manzanita Roasting — San Diego, California 

The tagline says it all: “Yay for not running out of good coffee!” Manzanita Roasting of San Diego offers three different options for their coffee subscription plans, including two distinct blends and a “Manzanita Choice” subscription with ever-changing single origin options. Use code Freeshippingforall (case sensitive) for free shipping through March 31st, and consider doubling up your order with the 1+1 subscription option.

Partners Coffee — New York City 

Our friends at Partners, those charming New York City & Brooklyn purveyors of tasty coffee and mellow vibes, offer a whole bunch of different subscription opportunities, including blends, decaf, and single origin. But the one I like the most is called the Roaster’s Choice, which features the tagline “A Coffee Journey Around The World”. Doesn’t that sound lovely? All travel is off at the moment but you can travel from the safety of your home, in the confines of your favorite coffee mug, with this subscription from Partners.

Onyx Coffee Lab — Northwest Arkansas

You have by now most assuredly heard of Onyx Coffee, the all-world-everything Arkansas coffee roaster helping define coffee’s next wave, building stunning cafes and winning coffee championships. Right now is the perfect time to get acquainted with them in your home coffee routine, in the form of a recurring subscription service. Give it as a gift, or hook yourself up. Select cadence, size and coffee style, including a half a dozen or so excellent blends or a single origin option of note. When your spouse is like “Onyx, what’s that?” you can be like—”It’s this good coffee from Arkansas, and we get it every week now.”

Verve Coffee — Santa Cruz, California

Customize your order, set up a recurring payment, ship on your schedule—bing, bang, boom, you’ve got coffee from California shipped straight to your door. Verve’s subscriptions can be gifted or set up personally, which is a nice touch, and you get to choose from a range of options from around the world, allowing you to focus on coffees from Africa or Latin America, if that’s your jam. Whole bean is always recommended but you can get it pre-ground if so desired, and order anywhere from 12 ounces to a kilo at a time delivered. Say you went with Streetlevel, Verve’s classic blend (not to be confused with Farmlevel, their sweet zine)—that would run a cool $16 per shipment, including shipping, for a weekly 12 ounce bag. You love to see it.

Yes Plz — Los Angeles, California 

Beans & Zines is the tagline here for Yes Plz, a weekly coffee subscription service now with a monthly magazine. Every week a different blend arrives—sometimes it’s a “seven bean blend banger”, other times a  subtle melange of, say, El Eden from Peru and El Tundo from Ecuador. The next cadence ships March 23rd and is available starting at just $17 shipped.

Some (but not all) of the roasters in this feature are advertising partners on the Sprudge Media Network. For a complete list of partners please consult the right hand side of this and every Sprudge feature. 

Jordan Michelman (@suitcasewine) is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network.

Original art by Zachary Carlsen. 

Coffee Subsriptions We Love To Drink From Home published first on https://medium.com/@LinLinCoffee

[shebreathesslowly]

Coffee Subsriptions We Love To Drink From Home

There’s a chance we may be headed towards a nationwide shutdown of bars, restaurants, and yes, coffee shops in response to Coronavirus, an action that has already been instituted in certain US states to help  flatten the curve and save lives.

Until that happens you need to tip, dammit, and buy gift cards, and watch for companies in your community converting to take-out, drive-thru, and delivery (follow us on Twitter for updates). But another very wonderful thing you can do to support the coffee industry right now is to buy coffee online.

You need coffee now, but you’ll need it again in a week, or a month, which is why coffee subscriptions are so hot right now. With this in mind we’ve put together a nice big list of coffee subscriptions we know to be excellent. Some are in America, others are not. All are operated by humans. This list includes a few of our sponsors, whose support makes our daily publishing work at Sprudge possible, as well as many other indie roasters we admire.

This is just a start—comments to this post are open and we’d love to hear from you on more of your favorite subscription options. Share this post with your family and friends—we’ve been sure to include a broad range of roast profiles and price points for every coffee drinker you love—and watch for more stories like this from us in the coming hours.

Amavida Coffee — Santa Rosa, Florida 

The folks at Amavida offer not one, not two, but three distinct coffee subscription options: the Trekker, Espresso, and Reserve. Each one ships monthly and serves Amavida’s Certified B Corp mission of “empowering coffee-growing communities around the globe.”

Belleville Brulerie — Paris, France

One of the best damn roasters in France is also home to a charming monthly subscription option! Choose from 1, 2, or 3 “sachets” of coffee (tres chic) alongside discovery cards and brewing tips. These subscriptions can even be given as gifts, which is a very nice thing to consider doing in these strange times. Please note this subscription is only available for EU readers.

Counter Culture Coffee — United States of America

Counter Culture helped build the third wave, and are found behind the bar at fine coffee shops, restaurants and bars all across the country, roasted in the Bay Area and Durham, North Carolina. You can get that goodness delivered to your door in subscription form, with a range of options including blends, decaf, and an ever-changing single origin offering. This is one of the most customizable subscriptions we’ve come across in terms of cadence and selection—perfect for a big family with lots of coffee needs.

Dark Arts Coffee — London, United Kingdom

I’m supposed to be in London right now. Oh, it was to be glorious—a little bit of leisure time with an away message on the ol’ email before hopping back in to work at the London Coffee Festival. I was going to eat funny sounding British food and Paul Hollywood-esque pastries, and walk around a lot. Obviously this was not to be, but one can capture a bit of London in the form of a recurring subscription from Dark Arts Coffee, who are happy to ship to the UK, the EU, or “everywhere else on this here flat earth.” Check out their subscription here, their coffee is very good.

Dogwood Coffee — Minneapolis, Minnesota

Dogwood is the best, basically. Not only do they offer some of our favorite cafe experiences in the country, and really one of the industry’s best approaches to deeply felt graphic design and merch, they also have a smart set of subscription options including blends, single origins, and a bulk pay buy—prepay $150 for a 6 month set-up, including shipping.

Go Get Em Tiger — Los Angeles, California

Get a single origin! Get an espresso blend! Get a single origin but have it roasted, you know, a little longer! Customize your subscription monthly, fortnightly, or up to four bags a week, in case you want to pig out on coffee, you little coffee pig. While they aren’t currently shipping the cheeseburger nationwide they are shipping coffee, and that’s pretty good.

Intelligentsia — Chicago, Illinois and nationwide

The team at Intelligentsia more or less invented the “Direct Trade” approach to coffee buying, developing long term and oftentimes exclusive relationships with coffee producers around the world, with ongoing projects in places like Mexico, Nicaragua, and Ethiopia. Coffees like the brand’s iconic Black Cat espresso and Borealis house blend are better known, but Intelli’s single origin Direct Trade coffees (like this Peru COE Special Selection or the Rwanda Zirikana) are capable of scaling flavor and quality heights.

Intelli’s subscription offering can be narrowed down by flavor preference or individual offerings; you can select whole bean (always recommended) or choose from a range of pre-grind specifications; you can choose which day of the week you’d like the subscription to ship, how many bags, and how often. You can even opt for a tea subscription alongside coffee, from Intelli’s in-house Kilogram Tea sub-label. Use this as an excuse to poke around Intelligentsia’s website and read more about the people who grew, harvested, and expertly processed these remarkable coffees, and sign up for their newsletter to receive discount offers.

Joe Coffee — New York City 

It’s so important that we support New York right now, a city whose unique urban density and global nature makes it especially impacted by Coronavirus. Supporting Joe Coffee is a vote for supporting the city, so deeply coupled are their identities. Joe is offering 20% your first 3 subscription shipments using code HOMEBREW through March 31st, which means a nice savings on espresso blend, house blend, and single origin subscription packages. While I cannot currently visit the UWS Joe for an iced latte and take it for a stroll through the nice quiet part of Central Park, I can daydream of doing so, which I will as soon as this article is done, and I can support them by drinking their coffee at home.

KaffeBox — Norway

America’s obsession with Scandinavian minimalist design and magazines that look like Kinfolk may finally at last be waning, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater—Scandinavia is still home to some incredible indie coffee roasters. Each month the team at KaffeBox assembles a subscription delivery featuring a different Nordic roaster, shipped direct to you anywhere in the world. If you’re someone like me who hedonistically loves drinking lots of different roasters all the time, this is like the dream subscription. I’m not planning to fly to Oslo anytime soon but KaffeBox brought Supreme Roastworks to me this month, and their coffee is lovely. Other recently featured roasters like The Coffee Collective, Per Nordby, and Jacobsen og Svart are no slouch either. There’s even now an optional chocolate pairing, which sounds great today, I’m not going to lie.

Never again do I desire to sit in another minimal nü-Nordic dining room for a dinner of lingonberry foam riffs and reindeer sweetmeats, thanks, but I’m still super here for good indie Scandinavian roasters like the ones amplified and shipped globally by KaffeBox. Highly recommended.

Manzanita Roasting — San Diego, California 

The tagline says it all: “Yay for not running out of good coffee!” Manzanita Roasting of San Diego offers three different options for their coffee subscription plans, including two distinct blends and a “Manzanita Choice” subscription with ever-changing single origin options. Use code Freeshippingforall (case sensitive) for free shipping through March 31st, and consider doubling up your order with the 1+1 subscription option.

Partners Coffee — New York City 

Our friends at Partners, those charming New York City & Brooklyn purveyors of tasty coffee and mellow vibes, offer a whole bunch of different subscription opportunities, including blends, decaf, and single origin. But the one I like the most is called the Roaster’s Choice, which features the tagline “A Coffee Journey Around The World”. Doesn’t that sound lovely? All travel is off at the moment but you can travel from the safety of your home, in the confines of your favorite coffee mug, with this subscription from Partners.

Onyx Coffee Lab — Northwest Arkansas

You have by now most assuredly heard of Onyx Coffee, the all-world-everything Arkansas coffee roaster helping define coffee’s next wave, building stunning cafes and winning coffee championships. Right now is the perfect time to get acquainted with them in your home coffee routine, in the form of a recurring subscription service. Give it as a gift, or hook yourself up. Select cadence, size and coffee style, including a half a dozen or so excellent blends or a single origin option of note. When your spouse is like “Onyx, what’s that?” you can be like—”It’s this good coffee from Arkansas, and we get it every week now.”

Verve Coffee — Santa Cruz, California

Customize your order, set up a recurring payment, ship on your schedule—bing, bang, boom, you’ve got coffee from California shipped straight to your door. Verve’s subscriptions can be gifted or set up personally, which is a nice touch, and you get to choose from a range of options from around the world, allowing you to focus on coffees from Africa or Latin America, if that’s your jam. Whole bean is always recommended but you can get it pre-ground if so desired, and order anywhere from 12 ounces to a kilo at a time delivered. Say you went with Streetlevel, Verve’s classic blend (not to be confused with Farmlevel, their sweet zine)—that would run a cool $16 per shipment, including shipping, for a weekly 12 ounce bag. You love to see it.

Yes Plz — Los Angeles, California 

Beans & Zines is the tagline here for Yes Plz, a weekly coffee subscription service now with a monthly magazine. Every week a different blend arrives—sometimes it’s a “seven bean blend banger”, other times a  subtle melange of, say, El Eden from Peru and El Tundo from Ecuador. The next cadence ships March 23rd and is available starting at just $17 shipped.

Some (but not all) of the roasters in this feature are advertising partners on the Sprudge Media Network. For a complete list of partners please consult the right hand side of this and every Sprudge feature. 

Jordan Michelman (@suitcasewine) is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network.

Original art by Zachary Carlsen. 

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