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prettieinpink · 6 months

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MAKING FRIENDS ♡

Friends add so much value to your life. Especially ones that you like, and there is a positive healthy exchange of support and love in between. However, some of us do struggle to create meaningful friendships that last. To start this post, I will start by talking about how friendships are essential to becoming the best versions of ourselves.

Friends help us in many ways, even if they don’t even do it directly. We discover new things about ourselves just by talking to them, we have a sense of belonging and build our self-esteem. It’s not impossible to have these things and be alone, though being alone for extended periods can fester feelings of social isolation & loneliness.

As someone who’s experienced both, usually, these feelings can make us spiral deeper as it is just the tip of the iceberg. Humans need daily communication to feel sane, which has been proven again and again.

If you decide to invest a lot more time, effort, and energy in friends, there’s bound to be an overflowing amount of rewards. Hanging around the right people can open up new opportunities for yourself drive you closer to achieving your goals and help advance your skills.

This being said, if you invest in the wrong people or neglect your friends, the opposite will more than likely happen. Remember that the people you allow in your life can influence you, whether for better or worse.

REDEFINING YOUR MINDSET TOWARDS MAKING FRIENDS

Your mindset is so crucial to making friends. It can either help you or not. Another thing is that your mindset towards life, in general, can either repel or attract people to be around you.

Firstly and importantly, do not get attached to people you barely know. Don’t overthink about them, change yourself for them or get anxious waiting for a reply. Seriously, detach. Little things like replies or if they’ll like you, should not bother you. The concept of it bothering you should not even exist in your mind.

Secondly, do not think of humans as assets to support your growth. This is just so icky and once you get that materialistic perspective on friendships, it just becomes harder to create meaningful ones. While friends can help you grow and achieve your goals, they will drop you once they realise they’re being taken advantage of.

Thirdly, stay true to yourself. A bit of common advice, yet not widely followed. Never, ever, make the effort to change yourself for someone to like you a bit better. If someone doesn’t like you for just who you are, they’re not meant to be in your life, forcing it causes unnecessary & avoidable circumstances.

Fourthly, quality over quantity always. When you get older especially, it shouldn’t be your priority to gain masses of friends. Most likely, not all of your friends like you because it’s harder to invest in all of them and causes you to neglect them.

However, having quality friends who help you grow and succeed will never stop serving you in life even if that friendship falls out. Plus, you are too busy achieving your goals every day to entertain everyone you know.

Lastly, do not allow disrespect just because you’re friends. They will test the waters to see how much you can tolerate, then you allow them to, they’re just going to get more extreme with it. Identify disrespect in ‘jokes’ or casual conservation and call it out. These people are praying for your downfall.

That being said, just because it is not happening to you, don’t allow it. Once you establish yourself as only wanting respect, you’re going to get treated like it.

DEFINING YOUR INNER AND OUTER CIRCLE

Your inner circle consists of people whom you are close to, and have healthy and positive relations with them. These are the kind of people who you’d go to for emotional support or to celebrate great successes in your life.

Then, you have your outer circle. These can be people who you’re close to, but they’re not the closest. It consists of people who you talk to regularly, but there’s still that distance. Distance is not a bad thing at all in friendships, not everyone is meant to be your closest friend.

Now those two terms are established, I want you to visualise how you want those two circles to look. These can be people who you want to be friends with, wanting to cut anyone off or just people who you hope to meet one day.

Then define how you want to feel with those two circles, like a loving or caring circle, or a growth and learning circle. This is completely up to you, about how those circles feel and look like as it is for you.

I recommend writing your visualisations down and putting them somewhere you can see regularly. This is just to help us get into the energy of making meaningful friendships every day.

STANDARDS + CRITERIA IN FRIENDS

The heading is a little bit off-putting, I understand. However, it is essential to establish a set of standards once you start making friends. This is to make sure you’re making quality friendships, and not attaching to just anyone.

This is a bit of individual advice, you have to curate your standards by yourself. A personal example is that I’m Christian myself, I believe in God and I’m devoted to him.

So, in that case, I won’t allow other religions or non-religious people into my inner circle. While they can be in my outer circle, I would prefer having most of my friends believe in God and uphold his values.

Standards and criteria in friends can either be a must quality (they must have this quality) or a preferred quality (I prefer if they did, don’t mind if they don’t). You decide which qualities are which, and if they apply to your inner or outer circle.

Can’t say much, but to help you, I advise looking into yourself internally and once again, visualising what those friendships look like daily. To help, I’ve gathered a few journaling prompts!

What do you think are the responsibilities of friendship?

What is the nicest thing a friend could ever do for you?

What do you think friendship is?

How do you expect the aftermath to be after an argument with a friend?

How can someone become a part of your inner circle?

What behaviour makes you want to cut someone off?

Who were your favourite friends in the past? What did they do to become your favourite?

How would you like to be shown appreciation daily?

Do you like banter or prefer showering each other with compliments?

Then, extract from your responses to these prompts, some characteristics or traits that you look for in friendships.

BECOMING SOCIALLY ELOQUENT The first tip i’m going to give to you is to read. Not just in your head, but out loud reading. Read, and see if you’re going too fast or too slow, you’re pronouncing words clearly and know when to pause. Bonus points if you record yourself reading, then rewatch it to see your progress.

Search up any words you don’t know and how to pronounce them, and to test yourself, think of a way to use those words in an everyday sentence.

While this helps to expand your vocabulary as well, really keep in mind the setting of the conservation. If you’re at a science and math invention fair, more advanced language is suited. However, you wouldn’t use that same way of speaking casually at a party.

The second tip is to get rid of all filler words in your vocabulary.

Unnecessary when speaking and it can make you an unengaging conservationist. Just take a pause when thinking, and if you forget what you were talking about, tell your listener or just change the topic. Sometimes, these words are needed when speaking, but not all the time.

The third tip is just to do everything slower, while speaking. Move your hands slower, don’t dart your eyes around and take deep breaths before speaking. If not, you seem anxious and jittery, in which your words will not be clear.

The fourth tip is to pay attention to the listener. Make eye contact with them and ask questions about them too. This makes it a lot more engaging and therefore, easier for the listener to listen.

My fifth tip, and the most important, is to practice speaking. Whether it is in front of a mirror or with a partner. Use notes as reminders while practising to help you remember what to do. There are even videos on YouTube where you can pretend you’re having a conversation with someone, or you could just make your own.

However, practice yourself to speak without preparation. Like for example, you strike up a conservation with your classmate and apply the things you’ve learnt.

Bear in mind, that the whole point of becoming socially eloquent isn’t to make people listen to you, but to make it easier for people to listen to you.

MAKING FRIENDS + KEEPING THEM

Now everything else is out of the way, let’s talk about what you probably came here for. How to make friends and keep them. Better said than done.

The settings where you meet someone are important. It allows you to easily connect with people who are similar to you in any way, without actually having to state it. Here are a few places to meet people.

Church/any religious site (same beliefs)

Sports club (like that sport/exercise)

Any classes (people who like learning/that hobby)

School or university (you’ve got something to connect over)

These are just a few examples of where to meet people, however, you do not have to go somewhere else just to meet someone. Sometimes, I go to my nearest shopping mall or supermarket either after school or on the weekend and talk to any girls who look around my age, with whom I’ve gained so many friends.

While going to a particular setting helps to find people with similarities, it’s not the essential piece to meet people.

If you struggle to make friends just by striking up a conversation, just make yourself known to others first. Help them when needed, compliment them or greet them daily. They will most likely approach you first and talk to you first as you’ve deemed yourself approachable. Do not rely on this method though, not everyone is willing to approach you.

Once you find a potential friend and you’re talking to them, make sure it’s an engaging conversation. First, ask open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are ones that someone can expand on, basically not yes or no answers.

Do you own any cats? -> What’s your favourite cat breed?

Do you enjoy *activity*? -> What’s your favourite thing to do after school?

When can we hang out? -> Where’s your favourite place to hang out?

These are the kinds of questions that you get to know someone and are engaging. Remember, do not be overbearing with questions, it can come off as kinda odd.

Secondly, find any similarities and talk about them. For example, a sport, a favourite book, a hobby, religion. It is so easy for people to connect over their favourite things.

Thirdly, have open and friendly body language. Smile when they’re talking, maintain eye contact, avoid crossing your arms and legs, and lean in to show you’re listening. People love love, good listeners.

My fourth point which refers back to being good listeners, is remembering what they say. If they said, oh I love going to the beach, maybe suggest going to the beach together. Or, they said, I hate studying, then the next time they have a test, help them study.

Lastly, avoid small talk. It becomes awkward and the answers are always the same. If you must, ask them about things that happened in their life. Like, how’s that boy you’re talking to or did you do well on that test?

Most people also hate small talk. So, if every single conservation is just small talk, they would not want to talk to you.

These little things that you remember can make people like you and therefore, want to be your friend. I remember stuff about people by just writing it down and occasionally referring back to it.

Now, let’s say you’ve got your friend now. However, you don’t have a way of talking to them every day. They don’t live close by nor do they attend your school/uni/any place. So, how do we keep them?

Easy, invest in those friendships. Talk to them via messages or phone, schedule days to hang out, check up on them to make sure they’re doing well, be honest with them, remember important dates of their lives etc.

Keeping friends is just about being a good friend to them. Just think about how you would like to get treated by your friends and treat them like that. Even if they don’t reciprocate, putting out those positive actions, will come back to you one day.

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fishnapple · 17 days

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CRYSTAL READING : What kind of people are you attracting into your life ? 🧲🎐🪸🫧

A little explanation of the method I used for reading

Lithomancy : I assigned a meaning for each stone (each stone represents a planet) and cast them on a circle divided into 12 parts, just like an astrology chart and do the reading

Pick a stone :

Reading for each group below :

1. Coral fossil

These people come into your life in a very fast or even quite forceful manner. They would feel random and foreign to you, but you are attracting them exactly because of that.

They will help you open up your mind and bring some changes to your routine and habits.

Talking with them would not be comfortable all the time. Sometimes, you would feel quite exposed or triggered by them. Their manner of communicating with you would be brutally honest and challenging to your ego. Because they would have a big ego too. They would give an image of a stern, serious and quite a coarse person with strong energy. Would be too much and a little in your face.

But through that, they help shedding some light on your deep-seated vulnerability and fears and propel you higher because they genuinely believe that you're capable of much more.

After some time, if you're able to get used to their way of talking with you, you will feel safe enough to open up more, maybe even adopt some of their fearless and authoritative traits. Be more relaxed and flow with them.

At times, they can also be more tender. Their words have deep impacts on you, making you feel more beautiful and more confident in yourself. Their compliments are true words, not laced with hidden motives. They understand what it's like to be vulnerable and wounded, and they've learned to be strong.

You would likely meet them when you are having fun, making something or going about with your daily life. Could be the people that you see regularly, like your colleagues, the people you are collaborating with. They could be foreigners and have different lifestyle from you.

2. Moss agate

You are attracting quite a chaotic energy.

At first, you and them would click with each other very fast. Conversations will be fun and flow effortlessly. These people are quite quirky and moody, like the stereotype of artists. You guys would change subjects a lot while talking, having some random and private jokes that only you can understand.

They can make you feel taken care of with small and considerate gestures.

You would sense or feel that they are spiritual, mysterious, and sometimes lonely. That would be your subjective view. In reality, they may not be actually like that.

But being around them for too long would cause you to feel isolated from the world. They would wrap their care around you, blur out the mundane life, and give you a yearning for some ideal, more beautiful life elsewhere. At best, life would feel more magical to you. At worst, you would want to escape or forget your current surroundings.

Though they are kind, they have some well hidden anger and shadow aspects that want to have control over what they have. Including the connection with you. A fragile self-esteem and some insecurities would cause control issues. There could be some manipulative tendencies like making you feel vulnerable to bring you closer to them.

You will need to be more aware of your own feelings when being around them and try to see them in a more objective light.

The people you are attracting would be in a higher position than you, could be your boss, your mentor, teachers, or someone with more authority.

3. Carnelian

The people that you are attracting are those needing more light and vibrancy in their life.

They have attractive energy, people would consider them to be conventionally good-looking or charming with an edge of passion. A balance between feminine and masculine energy.

They are confident and ambitious with concrete goals and helpful resources. Stoic and wilful. The kind that others have a lot of respect for.

They do everything with dedication.

But something is amiss. Right now, they have some confusions deep inside, lost, looking for a home. You could feel that through their words, their way of communicating. Their light is dimmer, something feels lacklustre. They may not even be aware of that about themself.

Subconsciously, they are looking for something new to learn, to feel excited and curious, to expand their mind. They could be quite established but feel stagnant, so they need a little shaking up. Their life seems a little cold and hard, so they are looking for some softer, more nurturing energy.

And maybe that's why they are attracted to you. They could see that you are embodying that energy quite well.

You could meet them when you are by yourself, being confident, express yourself openly, which is a kind of contrast to their more controlled and reserved nature.

4. Trolleite

I see some strong bonds of friendship with the people that you are attracting.

They come into your life in the period that you may be feeling a little bored. You need something that can stir you.

You would meet them while studying for something new, maybe a foreign language so they could be foreigners too.

They have a kind of elevated and optimistic spirit. An ability to see beauty everywhere.

They would take you on exciting adventures, physically or mentally, like going to some places with different culture, taking a deep breath of fresh air in nature, and lying down to just talk about everything. They are not childish. In fact, they could be older than you, or their energy just seems mature, but something about them making people feel like a child again, something warm and open.

Oddly enough, even though their core self is always changing, erratic but their actions and sense of self are very solid and dependable. A dependable unpredictability, perhaps. And they would help you feel more grounded and firm in yourself.

You would form some connections that are light, fun yet long lasting, and nurturing.

❤️

#crystal reading #lithomancy #pick a card #channeled message #crystals #outer world #pick a pile #attracting #energy check #connection #intuitive messages #divination #spirituality #astrology #astro #astrology chart #horary chart #horary astrology #crystal casting

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sacriou · 6 days

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I took it. Bit more seriously.. I really like it so far lmao

#ghost trick #ghost trick spoilers #I think the phone wire gimmick is unironically the coolest part of the ghost trick world #like not just the idea of ghosts being able to be transported like electric energy but like. only phone lines specifically #I’m curious if they do make another entry for this game if they will take advantage of the fact that telephone lines aren’t as common #you think he can connect to my headphones and shit via Bluetooth too

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caesarinsalata · 3 months

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Wanna know what's my favorite thing about the way Alchemy works in FMA?

I love how, at least when Ed transmutes during a serious battle, when he makes the circle and just before he makes contact with the ground, it's like an immense energy surges through him. It's like literal electricity is rippling between his hands and through his body until he hits the ground to transmute it.

It's like my favorite thing about the power display that goes into the ability.

#fma #edward elric #fullmetal alchemist #pointing out the obvious #i love how real it feels #like hes channeling the energy and keeping it at bay #until he connects the circuit #its so cool!

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phoenix----rising · 8 months

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𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒓𝒈𝒚 𝒊𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒈𝒆...

#that’s not even listed as one but I need it matched...#personal #soul #energy #healing #spiritualgrowth #spiritual development #law of attraction #love #spiritual awakening #thoughts #energy connection #energy vibrations #spiritual journey #clairaudiant #empath #love language

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2-gay-2-furious · 2 months

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#whispers #cowboy #gay cowboy #brokeback mountain #gay #mlm yearning #mlm thoughts #gay mlm #gaycel #sigma male #male satire #brad pitt #thelma and louise #satyr #i listen to miguel because my inner satyr connects with his carnal energy on a spiritual level #satyrcore #boy hypno

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latenightsundayblues · 9 months

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Billy's way of showing affection is a bit... Unorthodox.

(it will happen again)

Stu is probably way more pleased about the discovery than any other sane individual would be

#get yourself a bf that vehemently denies any connection to you but still breaks into your home to sit in a corner and stare at u in ur sleep #catboy coded #unrelated but I need to talk abt this #i just got a haircut and im like. fucking RABID about it #i finally look pretty in that masculine way if you know what i mean #im the guy you see exiting a starbucks that makes you instantly think “what a fruit”#im so fuckin happy im in tears I feel truly comfortable for the first time in a while #in other news I accidentally spilled green apple monster energy all over the pork I was about to eat #if I had a nickel for every time I mentioned something bad that happened to me related to monster energy #srry for rambling I just feel great about myself #scream 1996 #stuilly #billy loomis #stu macher #billy loomis x stu matcher #latenightsundayblues art tag

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phoenixcatch7 · 6 months

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Man, I want shapeshifter cap SO BAD.

I want to see a Billy that really leans into the wonder of the world, the million paths a child could take in their life.

I want to see a Billy that wants to try everything, at least once.

A Billy that looks at all the people who spit at him, deride him, pity him, dismiss him, ignore him, because he has no future, no prospects, a child in the gutter and say no. I'm going to grow up to be whoever I want to be.

And a captain marvel that says you're going to be amazing.

Billy taking the premise of captain marvels form - his ideal self, a blank slate for Billy to paint his bright colours, the person he wants to be deep inside - and dialling that freedom up to eleven.

A dancer, a dinosaur, a train conductor, a tiger, an ice cream maker, a butterfly, an astronaut, a shark, a college student, a Tamaranean, a mouse, a scuba diver, an elephant, a doctor, a moose, a race car driver, a dog.

A child wanting to see the world.

If you want to find captain marvel, well first you've got to try his comm, probably a couple times.

Then you've got to go to fawcett, hope he's there and not saving the yetis from a salamander invasion in a different dimension.

You've got to ask around, because it often goes by word of mouth here, no matter what technology you bring. Don't worry, it'll spread very quickly, but if you're in a hurry you can find his commemorative statue and leave an offering. No one knows if it really works, but it's a good way to pass the time and feel productive.

Soon, a face will peel out of the crowd. It's always familiar, but it's never the same one.

Wait for the flash of lightning in a cloudless sky.

And then you will find captain marvel.

#dc comics #captain marvel #dc captain marvel #billy batson #I really want to see tawny introducing Billy to the wonders of a highly malleable form #He's a kid! He's dreaming and imagining! He's got a thousand lives ahead of him!#Also just the image of the jl hunting down cap for smth and coming to a dance studio #And seeing this person who does not have caps body but is indubitably cap look up in surprise #Like he's a young man just out of teenage hood with a slim and lithe dancers build. Red male leotard with the lightning bolt on #Billy at this point is like 11 but as long as they never connect his human form to all these other immortal ones he's not too bothered #Billy getting into many places with the power of free trials/scholarships/sheer 'look like you belong there' energy #I think he'd have fun being a train conductor #Bringing his friends and trusted people with him sometimes for cover stories (like uncle dudley)#Heck I think he brought Shazam along on a couple adventures in the earliest comics lmao #But tawny is there 40% of the time being the adult (tiger) supervision #Not that he really needs to be. Billy is responsible and mature! Just... A trouble magnet lol #But someone has to show this kid the tricks of the shape-shifting trade!#shazam

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