#ellie x allan | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

savemefromanepicoftimewasted · 11 months

Text

Why Does Change Hurt So Much? Pt. 3

Joel Miller X Wife!Reader Ellie Williams X Dina

Surrogate or not, Ellie was absolutely Joel’s daughter and anyone who argued that she wasn’t could kick rocks. Maybe that was why you felt so protective over her, neither of you were blood related but there was a bond you’d never felt before. a/n:thank you to everyone who has read part 1 and 2! if you do read this feedback is much appreciated warnings:mentions of violence, mentions of wounds, Joel talking about his past, if i missed any please let me know! Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

Joel was nearly comatose for a week, drifting in and out of consciousness every now and then as the nurses and doctor made their usual rounds. You didn’t bother to complain one bit, mainly thankful that he was even able to look at you for those brief seconds he was awake. Ellie had indeed brought food whenever she had managed to swing by the cafeteria. She offered to sit with him so you could go home and take a quick shower, which was much appreciated. While you knew there was a chance Joel could wake up while you weren’t there, he’d be more upset if you weren’t taking care of yourself. It was touch and go for the first couple of days, he sparked a very high fever that they couldn’t break. The incisions were healing nicely, no signs of infection which was your biggest worry. Now you just needed him to stay awake for longer than a minute and your mind would be put at ease.

“Hey, Ellie wasn’t able to make it but she wanted to make sure you had something to eat,” Jesse brought over a covered plate of food.

“Thank you, I honestly don’t think I would’ve eaten had it not been for you guys,” You smiled up at him, gently peeling off the foil to dig in.

“Yeah, it’s not easy watching someone you care about not knowing if they’ll survive,” It was upsetting to say the least, this was your world.

Jesse left after a couple more minutes, saying that he needed to attend to his daily duties and would have Ellie swing by later in the day. The food, while more lukewarm than hot, filled your stomach pleasantly. You’d have to make Joel some of his favorites while he was home for however long the doctor said. Maybe you could convince Maria to let you have some of the spare cocoa powder they had and make him a cake.

Joel’s eyelids fluttered for a moment before they opened, glancing around the room and taking everything in. He could feel you sitting beside him, the edge of the plate you were eating off of pressing against the back of his arm.

“Darling?” His throat felt dry, chest aching as he looked over at you.

“Joel! Oh thank god you’re awake!” You wanted to wrap your arms around him but there wasn’t much you could do without causing him pain.

“What happened?” He reached for your hand, grimacing at the way his chest protested.

“Seth and a couple of his asshole friends jumped you, Tommy found you outside and brought you to the infirmary,” You were angry, Tommy had admitted they’d found Seth and the two accomplices just as they were trying to escape the commune’s walls.

Tommy hadn’t said what they had done with the three men and as of right now you weren’t sure you wanted to know. Ellie would most likely speak her mind and make sure they suffered for what they’d done. There were times you wanted nothing more than to go down to the jail and torture them yourself. No, Joel needed you more than anything right now so getting your hands dirty wasn’t the right thing to do.

“Oh, makes sense,” Joel rested his head back against the pillows, having any kind of enemy was a death wish these days.

“Joel Allan Miller, you need to start being more careful!” Maybe yelling at him wasn’t the smartest idea, but goddamnit you were angry with the situation.

If you’d had any sense you would’ve slapped him for being so nonchalant about the entire situation. You couldn’t, and wouldn’t do that though.

“Ellie came by when you were in surgery, we have two new guests,” Maybe it was slightly petty, but Joel was still delirious and you were upset.

“Shit, she’s turning into me,” Joel pouted, reaching up to touch the gauze that covered his wounds.

“You knew exactly what was going to happen, she learned from the best,” You grabbed Joel’s hand before he could pick at the gauze.

He looked almost offended that you denied him of doing something so stupid. The last thing he needed was to irritate the stitches and cause an infection. You simply stared him down, waiting to see what retort he would come back with.

“Hey, sorry I couldn’t make it earlier had to go on early patrol,” Ellie was still brushing off the fresh snow from her jacket as she walked inside.

One of the newcomers was standing behind her almost nervously, her eyes locked onto where Joel was lying, a million and one emotions flashing over her face. It was a sickening realization that she must’ve known who Joel was, there wasn’t any doubt in your mind.

“Hey it’s Ellie bean,” Joel chuckled, hissing out a breath at the pain in his ribs.

“Joel I haven’t been called that since I was fifteen,” Even though she rolled her eyes, the smile on her face gave her away.

“Still always gonna be my Ellie bean,” It was a nickname he’d come up with during one of their many outings.

You rolled your eyes and patted the back of his hand gently, he had stopped trying to go after the gauze finally so you felt it was safe enough for him to not be held down.

“I didn’t get your name the last time we met, I’m Y/N and this is my husband Joel,” You gestured from yourself over to Joel who looked ready to fall back asleep.

“I’m Abby, my friend you met last time is Lev, he’s with Dina right now,” So that’s why he wasn’t glued to her side anymore.

“I hope you’ve been able to settle in, Jackson can be kind of overwhelming if you’re not used to it,” It was true, you’d been terrified to leave your home for the first few weeks.

Abby went to respond before Ellie caught her attention, mentioning that they were serving pot roast at the cafeteria. You’d talk with Ellie later on about what you noticed, right now you needed to get some food into Joel before he passed out again.

“Sweetheart, you need to get some food and water into you before you take another nap, okay?” You didn’t want to push him, but he needed some nutrition.

Joel just nodded, head lolling to the side as you ran out of the building to go and get him something to drink and eat. Ellie and Abby were close enough that you could make out the expression of joy on Ellie’s face. While you didn’t want to confront Abby, you knew the truth was going to come out eventually. For now you were going to make sure your husband was fed before worrying about everything else.

Tommy had already packed up two plates, along with a thermos full of ice cold water for you to take back to Joel. It was nice to know that his brother cared about him so much, considering how much shit you’d gone through lately. How could you even bring up that one of the people from Joel’s past was now inside of Jackson’s walls? No, don’t start thinking about things like that, Joel is fine.

“Hey!” Shit, you were almost back to Joel.

“Hey, what’s up?” You turned to face Maria who was now standing across from you, her raised brow caught you off guard for a brief moment.

“I was heading over to see what Tommy was doing, but I can already see what that might have been. How’s he doing?” Maria was kind and friendly, but right now your emotions were running wild.

“He’s starting to stay awake for longer than a few seconds which is nice, Ellie swung by earlier to check on him,” And nearly gave you a heart attack as well.

Maria nodded to herself, looking down at her snow boots before her gaze locked back onto you. She could see right through you, and damnit it was not a nice feeling whatsoever.

“I met the new girl too, she seems friendly,” Just a few more steps and you’re home free.

“Yeah, Tommy met her yesterday, she’s gonna start training so they can see how she does on patrols,” Of course, they needed all hands on deck.

“Makes sense, Joel’s gonna be out of commission for a while so if you guys need me for anything please don’t hesitate to ask,” Sure you wouldn’t willingly leave Joel on his own, nor did you expect them to ever truly ask for your help.

Maria assured you she would ask if there was something you could help with, patrols would be off the table entirely. Could you even handle leaving Joel for longer than a few minutes? No, it sounded too painful to think about. You sighed to yourself and finished the walk back to the infirmary hoping that Joel had managed to either stay awake, or wake back up. To your delight, or horror you weren’t entirely sure, there was already someone in the room.

“Oh, I didn’t think anyone else would be here,” The woman turned her head, jumping up from the chair as if it shocked her.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize there was anyone else here,” You narrowed your eyes at her, did she not know who he was? Who you were?

“I was just getting some food for my husband, for when he stays awake long enough to eat,” The air in the room filled with a tension that could’ve choked you, you held your ground and made it known you wouldn’t back down.

“He reminds me of my dad, maybe a little bit grayer but, yeah,” That wasn’t what you were expecting. Most women still tried to throw themselves at Joel, even when he made it known he wasn’t interested.

You set down the plates nearby, stepping over to the opposite side of the bed so that you could not only see this stranger, but also keep an eye on the door. The nurse would be making her rounds in a few minutes which helped ease your mind.

“How old was he?” You weren’t sure why you were trying to engage this girl in conversation, but it felt rude not to.

“Forty eight when he died, happened before my mom and I got to Jackson,” Too young, you hadn’t known Joel when he was that age.

“That’s so young, have you and your mom been here long?” Why did you feel protective of this girl now?

“A few years, we got here after Joel and Ellie came back,” You had already been living here for about a year when Joel Miller arrived with his daughter.

“Sorry for barging in by the way, I had come in with my mom and got sidetracked,” The girl laughed nervously, stepping further away from the bed to make her escape.

“It’s okay,” You didn’t want to make things any more awkward for her.

The room fell silent as she all but ran out the door leaving you, and a once dead asleep Joel to occupy it. It was all the stress, you were overthinking everything after nearly losing Joel for the second time, nothing to worry about.

“Smell food,” Joel mumbled slowly, hand reaching towards you blindly.

“Yes I brought food, figured you’d be hungry by now,” You stepped over to where the plates were, grabbing one to help Joel eat since he’d most likely need assistance now.

He managed to stay awake for nearly half the plate, humming after every few bites as you helped him eat. It was nice to know that he was still able to eat without any struggle, lord knows you had been worried he’d start to lose too much weight being in bed.

“I heard Ellie came by with someone, is she nice?” His eyes were slightly unfocused, though you weren’t entirely surprised.

“Yeah she’s friendly, they’re training her to see if she’d be good for patrols,” It was easier to tell Joel the good things about what’s been going on lately.

Would you ever tell any of them the truth about who she was? Or would you keep it all hidden away so they never knew? Shit, this wasn’t going as planned and you were getting more stressed by the second. Joel could practically feel the unease pouring off of you in waves, what had gotten you so worried that you wouldn’t talk to him about it?

“They found Seth!” Ellie burst into the room, sneakers skidding to a squeaky halt when she realized that Joel was awake.

“Why were they looking for ‘im?” Joel was still groggy, eyes drooping as he fought off the tight grip sleep had on him.

“Joel, Seth is the reason you’re in the hospital,” Ellie raised a brow at him, had he completely forgotten what happened?

Joel grumbled under his breath, pulling the blanket higher to fight off the chill that lingered in the room. Shit, if he’d forgotten something like that, then what else was he bound to forget?

“Isn’t the first time I got put into the infirmary for protecting someone I cared about,” That caused your brow to furrow in confusion, what had that meant?

“Joel?” You turned towards him, abandoning the plate you were about to eat off of.

“Tess was being stalked by this guy, so I decided to pay him a visit, ended up killing him but the fucker got a good enough jab that I had internal bleeding,” You’d always known that Joel was protective of those he cared about, but to hear this shocked you.

“I swear to god Joel, if I find out that you’re here because of Tom,” Joel snickered to himself, grimacing as the pain in his side spread over his entire stomach.

“He fucking deserved what happened, wouldn’t leave you alone,” Maybe it was the protective side in him, maybe it was seeing one of his closest friends nearly get killed, who knows.

Tess threw her hands up, walking away before she could berate Joel any further and end up saying something that was mean. The plus side was Tom wouldn’t be around to stalk her around the QZ anymore. No, no rewarding Joel for making terrible decisions that were going to get him killed one day.

“No more picking fights, the last thing we need is you getting killed because some asshole decided that I would be his next victim,” Tess could defend herself, having done it for years before meeting Joel.

“You know that’s not going to happen, gonna protect you no matter what,” Joel would fight until his last breath, no matter who it was for.

“Joel,” You couldn’t stop the tears streaming down your cheeks, he’d been through so much that you were completely unaware of.everything that had happened to him.

Joel frowned, opening his arms as much as was feasible and held them out towards you. You all but threw yourself into his embrace, tears soaking into the thin t-shirt he had on. This man had defended so many people and what did he get in return? Ellie walked over quietly, wrapping her arms around the both of you in what she hoped was a comforting embrace.

“I love you so much, don’t you ever forget that,” You pressed your face further into his chest, sighing in relief when his arms wrapped tighter around you and Ellie.

“I love you too, both of you,” Joel ruffled Ellie’s hair, chuckling when she pushed his arm away with a huff.

Things were going to work out perfectly fine, you’d have Joel back in the house before you knew it and he’d be back working with the sheep. It was all going to be fine.

Everything was in fact, not fine, as Joel’s body healed and his ribs were no longer broken, he was adamant about getting daily exercise to make sure that he didn’t get sick. Tommy had mentioned they’d taken care of the men who attacked Joel, Ellie was oddly quiet that day. Joel had tried to engage her in conversation but she continuously shut him down. It had you worried that something had happened during the “trial” a few people had attended. You had wanted to go, to watch Seth suffer for what he’d done, but Joel needed you at home.

“They executed them, everyone” Ellie was quiet, legs pulled up so her chin rested on her knees.

“They attacked Joel after he defended you, I’m sure they would’ve done much worse,” You had a feeling something had happened but to hear that they were executed made you feel some type of way.

Joel hadn’t asked about Seth, or his ridiculous goons even after he was back home in the comfort of his own bed. You were somewhat thankful Joel hadn’t said a word, more curious about his past than anything. You knew about Tess, about how they’d met Bill and Frank through the radio, the lunches they would have out in the countryside. It made you wish you knew more about him, about the man he was before the world collapsed.

“Does this make us bad people?” Ellie had always been afraid of being lumped in with people like raiders, they were the scum of the earth.

“Getting rid of a few people to save hundreds is sometimes the best thing to do,” Maybe killing someone wasn’t the best thing to do, but if Seth was willing to try and kill Joel because he defended Ellie? It didn’t matter how upset you were, Seth had to go.

The one thing you would never let Ellie believe is that she’s a bad person for doing what it takes to stay alive. There were plenty of things in your past that would make Ellie think twice about ever trusting you again.

“Hey, could I talk to you?” Abby, the newcomer you’d slowly warmed up to, was standing beside the table you and Ellie were sitting at.

“Uhh, yeah, of course,” You pushed yourself up from the table, letting Ellie know to stay so you wouldn’t lose out on your seat.

Abby quickly talked outside, shoulders hunched forwards as if she was afraid to say what was on her mind. Would this be the big breakthrough that you were waiting for? Shit, how was this conversation even going to go? She turned down one of the alley’s, if it could even be considered that, and stopped when the two of you were about halfway down.

“I’m so sorry, it’s my fault that your husband came back hurt the first time. My friend and I were looking for supplies and that’s when I realized he was even in the room with us,” She sighed, playing with the end of her braid nervously.

“He didn’t even put up a fight when I stabbed him, just grabbed my wrist so I couldn’t run off too quickly. I was afraid he was there to kill us, wouldn’t be the first time I was stalked by someone looking to settle a score,” Her voice slowly trailed off, leaving you both confused and oddly comforted.

You had always known that Joel wouldn’t fight a kid, not after seeing what Ellie had gone through years prior. Then again Joel wasn’t above killing someone if it meant keeping himself safe during patrols either.

“Why are you telling me all of this?” You weren’t mad, the world outside of Jackson was scary and you’d gladly stay inside if it meant being safe.

“You deserved to know the truth, that Joel wasn’t picking fights when everything happened,” The two of you locked eyes for a brief moment, the sudden realization that she was just a kid hit you like a ton of bricks.

Abby couldn’t have been any older than twenty, which in your eyes made her a kid just like Ellie was. She was a scared kid that was trying to find her way in the world just like everyone else was. You couldn’t even imagine how old her friend was, probably barely even a teenager if his height was anything to go by.

“I’m not mad, was I upset finding out Joel had gotten hurt? Of course, but I know how dangerous this world can be, you don’t have to apologize,” It wasn’t even an apology that you needed to hear, Joel needed it more than anyone.

You weren’t going to do that to Abby though, not with Joel just being out of the hospital recently and back in the house. There was no telling how he would react to being told that the person who’d stabbed him was living comfortably in Jackson as well. Things would be okay, after a conversation with your husband you’re sure.

“I just felt terrible, and then I ran into Ellie during their last supply run and I didn’t have the guts to say who I was,” Her hands were shaking now, a frown pulling down your face.

Before you could question yourself you pulled her into a tight hug, squeezing her shoulders to let her know that she was safe. If things were different you’d surely never forgive the teenager for harming him, but the world wasn’t normal anymore.

“You don’t have to apologize, just try and stay out of trouble from now on, okay?” You patted her back gently, releasing her from the hug as the two of you went your separate ways.

Things were slightly tense between you and Ellie once you got back inside, she was curious as to what Abby had to say and you weren’t comfortable spilling those details. After a few minutes of prodding she eventually gave up and continued eating the food she’d ordered. You would tell Joel eventually, when he wasn’t so tense and willing to risk his health because he was upset.

Everything would be just fine, you were sure of it, Joel would understand why you didn’t tell him and Ellie just wouldn’t need to know. This was the right thing to do.

“So how are you and Dina doing?” Maybe a topic change would do you guys some good.

“Really good, we’re gonna hang out later tonight unless you and Joel need us?” Ellie would drop everything if it meant getting back to a normalcy with Joel.

“No, I think we’re just going to relax on the couch and read tonight, not much he can do with his ribs still healing,” That was a partial lie, you would be reading while Joel napped on you.

It would be a peaceful night at least, nothing to do except read one of the new books Tommy had given you and make sure Joel took his medicine to make sure he didn’t fall again. That was nearly as scary as when he had arrived with an infected wound after three weeks. Joel would never admit that he had fallen though, his pride would take too much of a hit. The man was just too stubborn, though you found it endearing most of the time when he admitted his little faults. You never told anyone about the issues he had, whether it was his knee giving out or nearly burning dinner because he'd forgotten to turn off the stove.

"Are you sure this is going to be comfortable for you?" You didn't want to argue with him, but while you had plenty of pillows to lie on, Joel just had your body.

"Yes, now open the damn book and get to reading so I can take a nice nap," You rolled your eyes, opening the book up to page 1.

Joel smiled to himself, situating himself so that he was laying on top of you with his head against your chest. He was a typical man, and laying on his wife's chest was too comfortable for him to deny and say it wasn't. He was damn near positive Tommy did the same thing with his wife whenever he wanted somewhere comfy to rest his head.

The book was interesting enough, sucking you into the fictional world of knights and kings. The amount of bloodshed was downright shocking to you, it felt as if they were writing about your current world, and not one hundreds of years in the past. Joel had fallen asleep within a few minutes of you reading, lightly snoring as his arms wrapped around your waist. You propped the book up on his back, turning the pages with your fingers carefully.

You had started to run your fingers through his hair, smiling at how soft the strands were even after his latest hospital stay. Of course that got your mind wandering, who had ever gotten the chance to see Joel like this? Had he opened himself up to Tess like this? Or had he kept his heart closed off in fear he'd get hurt once again and be left in the dark? No, it was silly to think of something so miniscule, Joel had loved you and that was that. Just because he didn't tell you every single thing about his life didn't mean he didn't love you.

Shit, your mind was slowly spiraling with the negative thoughts and there was nothing you could do to stop them. It was better to let everything run its course instead of trying to fight it off and making it worse. Joel would be able to sense that you were upset when he woke up. Maybe you could bring up everything then, have an adult conversation and figure out all these emotions together. That wouldn't be such a bad idea, it was better than bottling it all up inside until you exploded on him.

That's it, you're going to wait until Joel wakes up and have an adult conversation about how you're currently feeling. That way you can both figure out the best course of action instead of acting like two idiots. Ellie had more adult conversations than you did, so clearly you could do whatever you set your mind to.

"Hmmph," Joel rubbed his face into your chest, tightening his arms for a brief moment before he relaxed once more.

You were afraid you'd woken him up during your internal monologue, but looking down there were no signs he was awake at all. The conversation could wait, for now you would enjoy this new book and the weight of your husband's body. Easy enough.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x wife!reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller angst #joel miller and ellie williams #joel miller au #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff #joel miller comfort #the last of us #joel miller x you #joel miller father figure #joel miller masterlist #joel miller gifs #ellie williams #the last of us fic #the last of us fanfiction #abby and lev #abby anderson

82 notes · View notes

sixhours · 3 months

Text

Chapter 11 - The Ghosts of Babylon

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut and violence Series tags: Joel Miller x You, Joel Miller x Reader, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, LGBTQ+ characters, y/n is bi/pan, y/n is ~45, violence, pregnancy, abortion, medical trauma, emotional trauma, panic attacks, sex work, suicide, smut, slow burn, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, romance, no use of y/n, reader has longish hair, Joel can lift you, smallish age gap (~11 years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

~*~

You’re napping on your cot in the clinic when the walkie at your belt scratches out your name. You rub your eyes, fumbling for the switch.

“Here,” you mutter, sitting up.

“Got a situation, patroller with a busted leg,” someone says.

“Okay, bring them in.”

“Gonna need to make a house call, doc. Meet us at the east gate.”

“Copy that. Out.”

Shit.

Patrol was rough and sometimes things went sideways–Theresa told you as much–but you’ve never had to leave the settlement before. You pick up the med kit, double-check to make sure you have everything you need, and grab your down jacket.

There are two men on horseback waiting for you. You know one is Eliot, and the other…is Joel.

Well, this will be interesting.

Joel gives you a barely perceptible nod. “She can ride with me.”

You raise an eyebrow at the too-easy double entendre, and you swear you see the hint of a smirk before his face drops back into a gruff mask and he puts out a hand to help you up. You can’t ignore the flush of heat that courses through you at his touch, an embarrassing Pavlovian response. You know what those hands are capable of, and you remember all too well where they were last night. You wonder, in a flash of helpless depravity, if you could still smell your slick on his fingers. It doesn’t help that you’re forced to press your whole damn body against his back just to stay on the horse.

Fuck, this is going to be a day.

“You know how to use this?” he asks over his shoulder, holding up a pistol.

“I might.”

He scoffs as you take the gun, check the safety, then tuck it into the back of your jeans.

“Shouldn’t need it, but y’never know,” he says.

When the gates close with a thud , you feel your chest constrict. You’ve lived within the safety of Jackson’s walls for months, too used to its creature comforts. You tighten your grip slightly around Joel’s waist as he nudges the horse to a fast trot, Eliot riding ahead. Your ass is already starting to hurt.

“How far out?” you ask, trying to keep your voice light.

“Couple hours’ ride; we’re camped at the southeastern outpost.”

“What happened?”

“Allan’s horse got spooked and threw her.”

“...Theresa Allan?”

There’s a pause. “Yeah.”

“You said it was a break?”

“Uh-huh. Bone went through the skin…can’t move her until it’s set and splinted.”

“Shit.”

You shift in the saddle, trying to take some pressure off your tailbone, your thighs already aching from the effort of keeping your balance. Joel seems to notice.

“Woulda thought you’d have experience on horseback, comin’ from Nebraska.”

“I’m not from Nebraska. I grew up in New York. I was a city kid.”

“So…how’d you end up at the Omaha QZ?”

“It’s a long and uninteresting story.”

“We got time.”

You let out a deep sigh.

“Alright. I was finishing my residency at a hospital in Maine when the outbreak happened. Managed to get out alive with a…group.

“We protected each other. My medical experience was useful, so I guess I had more luck than some. Just happened to land in Omaha at some point, and that was home…until it wasn’t.”

In your defense, this is all true, save for the destination and the fact that the “group” in question was FEDRA. Your story is the same as countless others, and it comes so naturally, it doesn’t feel like lying…not exactly.

“You were right about the uninteresting part,” Joel says dryly, but there’s a teasing lilt in his voice. “I’m fallin’ asleep over here.”

You clamp down on a smirk, kicking the back of his leg with your boot.

“Asshole.”

~*~

Theresa is ashen and shivering under a moth-eaten wool blanket when you finally arrive at the outpost, which is little more than a shack in the woods. She greets you with a shaky smile through gritted teeth.

“Hey, babe. Fancy…meeting you…here.”

You wince in sympathy. “Can I take a look?”

She nods, teeth clattering as you pull back the blanket and a blood-soaked bandage to reveal the fracture, the jagged white shard of her tibia poking through the skin of her lower leg. You remember trailing kisses up that leg, her thigh, the taste of her on your tongue, and you have to stop yourself from going further with the thought.

“Alright. Let’s get you fixed up,” you murmur.

You set your med kit on the floor and kneel, pulling out gauze, alcohol, wrapping, and a tiny bottle of precious painkillers. You hand her three of the small white pills and a canteen. “Take these. They might take the edge off.”

“Might,” Theresa snorts, but she swallows the pills with a gulp of water.

You kneel beside her, taking her hand, giving it a squeeze. “This is going to hurt like a motherfucker.”

“Wow, don’t hold back or anything,” she huffs. “Can…we get it…over with?”

“Give the pills a chance to work. I’ll be right back.”

Joel is waiting for you outside. “I’m going to need someone to help me hold her while I set and wrap the break, and someone to keep an eye on her vitals.”

“We’ve got four. Two on watch, two with you. Eliot’s got field medic training, he can handle the nurse stuff.”

You nod.

“You okay?” he asks, his voice suddenly low.

“Fine,” you reply automatically. Indeed, you’re not looking forward to the next part, but it comes with the territory.

He considers this, then nods. “I’ll hold her.”

~*~

It’s as bloody and painful as you expect. Theresa's screams are barely muffled by the belt strap in her mouth, but eventually, you’re able to get the bone back into place. The sun is setting by the time you’ve finished bandaging, wrapping, and splinting the leg. Your hands, jacket, and jeans are splattered in Theresa’s blood, and Eliot brings in snow and melts it over a camp stove to help you wash up.

Theresa is conscious, resting, covered by the wool blanket. Her blood pressure stabilizes and the painkillers are doing their work. Small favors.

Joel waits at the threshold, arms crossed. “We’ve got a sled fashioned up to take her out, but I don’t wanna risk it in the dark.”

You wince. It’s going to be a slow and painful journey back to Jackson.

He leans in, hand coming to rest lightly on your forearm. You’re glad for long sleeves that hide the sudden rash of goosebumps that pop up at his touch, the low timbre of his voice sending a pleasant shiver through you.

“Sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine,” you say, giving him a tired smile to prove it. He studies your face, then nods slowly.

“Alright. Make yourself comfortable, we’ll ride out when it’s light. Be outside if you need anything.”

Then he ducks out in a whirl of cold air.

You roll out a spare sleeping bag and wrap yourself in your bloody jacket, easing yourself down onto the floor next to Theresa. Your fingers find the pulse point at her throat and she stirs, eyes opening to you.

“How are you feeling?” you ask, making a mental note of her heart rate.

“Like shit,” she croaks.

“Meds might make you nauseous. Think you can eat?”

She shakes her head, making a face.

“Water, then,” you say, picking up the canteen and putting it to her lips. She takes a few slow sips and swallows, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. This seems to sap all her remaining strength, and her eyes close, fluttering shut.

You think she’s asleep, but then she speaks again, voice rough.

“So…you and Joel.”

You open your mouth to protest, but she cuts in, blinking at you with drugged eyes. “Don’t even try, babe.”

You huff a sigh, and close your eyes. “Thea–”

“I care…about you,” she says, struggling to keep her eyes on you. “You know that…right?”

The sentiment is so foreign, so unexpected, your mouth goes dry and you cough to cover your surprise.

“You’re on drugs,” you remind her dryly.

“Good ones,” she agrees. “But I know…what I see.”

“And what’s that?” you ask, even though you’re not sure you want the answer.

She grins then, a brilliant and wry smile that reminds you why you found her so attractive in the first place.

“You’re…alike, you and him.”

“I’m ‘lethal?’” you scoff. “Isn’t that how you put it?”

“Untouchable.”

The word hangs in the open air like a warning shot.

“Look, Thea, don’t…don’t tell anyone, okay? It’s not serious, and his kid doesn’t know. Would make it awkward if–”

“Secret’s safe with me,” she mumbles. “But I meant it…what I said before. Be careful.”

~*~

You’re jolted awake from a cold and troubled sleep by the sound of gunfire.

“Shit,” you breathe, reaching for the pistol at your back. Theresa is awake, too, looking at you with wide eyes.

“What’s–”

“Shh.”

There’s yelling in the distance. You creep on all fours to one wall. There are no windows, just a boarded-up hole through which you can see slivers of moonlight. You try to peek through the slats but all you see are the shadows of trees on snow.

Where the fuck are the guards?

More shouting, sounding further away, and then…shuffling. A croak that is far too close for comfort.

Your finger flicks off the pistol’s safety and you turn to Theresa, putting a finger to your lips. You put your ear to the wall, trying to pinpoint the sound’s location, when a loud thud lands on the door.

Theresa lets out a startled shriek, and you whirl around, ready to tell her to shut up, but then the door begins to crack and splinter as the infected throws itself against it, pounding and pounding until the sound drowns out Theresa’s whimpering and the infernal racket of your heart between your ears.

You get to one knee and bring the pistol up, holding it steady with both hands, trying to slow your breath.

In. Out. In. Out.

The hinges give a rusty scream as they’re wrenched off the frame and the infected breaches the door.

You take the shot.

It goes wide, but it draws the creature’s attention. Its gaping maw hisses and croaks at you, and when it lurches in your direction, you fire one more bullet into the center of its bulbous forehead. It drops like a stone.

A shadow appears in the doorway, and you aim for the head, finger steady on the trigger.

It’s Joel, wide-eyed, breathing hard. He raises his hands. “Fuck–”

You don’t lower the gun; your muscles are trembling, locked in place by adrenaline and fear. You’re still seeing the infected in front of you, coming straight at you, mouth open and ready to feed.

In. Out.

Another moment passes. You feel your finger ease up, feel yourself standing slowly. Joel switches between watching you with concern and glancing at the gnarled body on the floor.

“Are there more?” you bark, not ready to give up the gun just yet.

Joel shakes his head slowly, hands still raised like you might change your mind and shoot him after all.

“Where the fuck were you?” you hiss, finally tucking the gun back into your jeans.

“Eliot and Ashbury had one to the south, I was watchin’ their six,” he says, looking down at the infected corpse. “Seems like you had it covered, though.”

The walkie on his belt squawks, Eliot’s voice staticky over the airwaves. “Joel, you there?”

“M’here. Found one up by the cabin…we took care of it,” he says, looking pointedly at you. “Clear.”

He steps outside to continue the conversation, although now that the door is gone, there’s not much point. You turn to look at Theresa, who has pushed herself to a half-sitting position against the nearest wall, pale and shaking.

It was already freezing in the shack, and now the wind coming through the open doorway makes it unbearable. The sweat that beaded on your skin in the heat of the moment has cooled, making you feel damp and slimy beneath your coat. You grab one of the scratchy wool blankets and look for some way to secure it to the door frame.

“That was…f-f-fucking impres-s-sive,” Theresa chatters, watching as you move about the shack, looking for a spare nail, a piece of wood, anything to pin the blanket up. “If it weren’t so…fucking c-c-cold in here I’d…b-b-be turned on.”

“It was,” Joel says. You hadn’t noticed he’d re-entered the cabin, but now he’s standing there, still watching you with something like trepidation. “Impressive, I mean.”

You shoot him a look. “Help me get this up. We need to get this place warm.”

~*~

It’s only a couple of hours until dawn, but the time crawls by in a bitter-cold haze. Joel drags the infected corpse into the woods and you manage to get the door covered. You spend the rest of the time curled up against Theresa’s good side under the blanket, trying to conserve body heat.

It’s a welcome relief to be up on the horse, arms anchored firmly around Joel’s waist and heading back to Jackson in the early morning light. Eliot and his patrol partner’s horses are hooked to the makeshift sleigh upon which Theresa is bundled, while Ashbury rides ahead as a scout. You gave Theresa another pain pill before you set off, but you suspect it’s not doing much good with all the jostling on the frozen, pock-marked ground.

It’s been an hour of this lurching, plodding cadence when Joel’s voice drifts over his shoulder.

“Where’d you learn to shoot like that?”

“Picked it up while I was out there, I guess.”

You feel him shift against you, leaning back slightly. Even sweaty and bloody and in pain, his proximity is unnerving. The constant pressure of the saddle rolling between your legs doesn’t help.

“Looked like a FEDRA thing.”

“That so?” you say, trying to sound disinterested.

“Hell of a shot, though,” he says when you don’t elaborate. “For a ‘city kid.’”

“Mmm. Got lucky,” you sigh, resting your forehead between his shoulder blades, smelling the warm leather of his jacket. You’re so tired you could fall asleep right now, sore ass be damned.

“Right,” he says, drawing out the word sarcastically. “Well, remind me not to get on your bad side.”

“Doesn’t feel so good on the other end of the barrel, does it, Miller?”

He gives a soft, knowing chuckle. “No, I s’pose it don’t.”

~*~

You finally ride into Jackson, exhausted and bruised and desperate for a shower. Theresa is set up at home with one of the clinic nurses as a caregiver, and you promise to check on her the next morning.

Joel disappears without a word as soon as you dismount, trotting off toward the stables. You’re too tired to worry about his suspicious questioning, although in the back of your mind, you know you should be.

When you finally make it home, you don’t have the energy to do more than stumble upstairs and fall into bed fully clothed, still bloody and sweaty. The shower will have to wait.

~*~

A feather-light touch draws itself down your cheek, and you startle awake in the semi-dark, pushing yourself up and reaching for the knife you keep tucked between the mattress and box spring.

“Whoa, s’just me,” Joel says. “Don’t shoot.”

You blink up at him, confused. “What–how did you–”

“Door was open.”

Shit.

In your exhaustion, you’d forgotten to set the lock. Christ, being in Jackson has made you stupid.

You realize his hand is still resting on your cheek, and you sit up abruptly to break the contact.

“What is it? Is Thea alright?”

“She’s fine. Checked in on her before I came over. Just…wanted to see you.”

He leans in, capturing your lips with his, tongue sliding against yours in a sweet erotic dance, and you moan softly, instantly wet. After a full day of being so close, so fucking close without being able to touch him, to feel his lips on your sensitive skin, you’re like a woman starved.

You pull back with great difficulty, breathing hard. “I need a shower. I’m filthy.”

“Yeah y’are,” he growls, nipping at your ear, sending a hot shiver of delight straight to your core. But then he stands, reaches out a hand, and you take it.

The water feels amazing when it hits your skin, washing off the remains of Theresa’s blood, the dried sweat, soothing the ache in your muscles. He holds you under the stream of rushing water as his hands run the soap up and down your back, and he kisses you and bites at your neck until your legs threaten to give out. When he grabs your ass and presses you to him, nudging his cock between your thighs just out of reach of where you need it, you groan in frustration.

“Not in the shower, Miller.”

“M’not that stupid,” he says, but you’re not convinced. He leans back but only slightly, forehead pressed to yours, panting through gritted teeth. “God, the things you do to me. Wanted you that whole time, out there. Wanted you to…to–”

“Show me,” you murmur, reaching behind you to shut off the water, not caring that your body is still slick with soap.

You’re going to need another shower after this, anyway.

#fanfic #fic recs #the last of us hbo #joel miller #ellie williams #joel and ellie #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us

12 notes · View notes

poppletonink · 5 months

Text

A Year In Review: 2023

Total Number Of Books Read: 65

Top 10 Novels:

Better Than The Movies by Lynn Painter

Ellie Pillai Is Brown by Christine Pillainayagam

If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio

Six Of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

Persuasion by Jane Austen

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

1984 by George Orwell

It by Stephen King

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

Top 5 Graphic Novels & Mangas:

Snapdragon by Kat Leyh

My Riot by Rick Spears and Emmett Helen

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon Vol. 1 by Naoko Takeuchi

Komi Can't Communicate Vol. 1 by Tomohito Oda

The Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser and Robyn Smith

Top 5 Short Stories:

Recitatif by Toni Morrison

Click Clack The Rattlebag by Neil Gaiman

The Black Cat by Edgar Allan Poe

The Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe

The Lottery by Shirley Jackson

Top 5 Genres:

Romance

Fantasy

Coming Of Age

Mystery

Horror

Two Longest Reads:

Best Friend's Brother by Zeppazariel/Bizzarestars - 1204 pages

It by Stephen King - 1166 pages

Top 10 Films:

Fight Club (1999)

It: Chapter 2 (2019)

Gone With The Wind (1939)

Red, White and Royal Blue (2023)

13 Going On 30 (2003)

The Wolf Of Wall Street (2013)

She's All That (1999)

It (2017)

The Silence Of The Lambs (1991)

Barbie (2023)

Top 5 TV Shows:

Heartstopper (2022-)

The End Of The F***ing World (2017-2019)

American Vandal (2017-2018)

Bodies (2023)

Heartbreak High (2022-)

Top 10 Ships:

Wolfstar (Remus Lupin x Sirius Black - Marauders Fandom)

Reddie (Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak - IT)

Wesliz (Wes Bennett x Liz Buxbaum - Better Than The Movies)

Jegulus (James Potter x Regulus Black - Marauders Fandom)

Wesper (Jesper Fahey x Wylan Van Eck - Six Of Crows)

Ineffable Husbands (Aziraphale x Crowley - Good Omens)

Narlie (Nick Nelson x Charlie Spring - Osemanverse: Heartstopper)

Literati (Rory Gilmore x Jess Mariano - Gilmore Girls)

Kanej (Kaz Brekker x Inej Ghafa - Six Of Crows)

Firstprince (Alex Claremont Diaz x Henry Mountchristen-Windsor Fox - Red, White and Royal Blue)

Top 5 Fandoms:

Marauders Era

Gilmore Girls

Grishaverse

Osemanverse

Top 10 Songs:

Gorgeous by Taylor Swift

Give Me A Minute by Christine Pillainayagam

How You Get The Girl by Taylor Swift

Paradise by Bazzi

Girl From Mars by Ash

Foolish One (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Earphones by Christine Pillainayagam

Hits Different by Taylor Swift

Mr Brightside by The Killers

Hey There Delilah by The Plain White T's

Top 5 Artists:

Taylor Swift

Christine Pillainayagam

David Bowie

Olivia Rodrigo

Bikini Kill

Top 5 Albums:

Lover by Taylor Swift

Ellie Pillai Is Brown by Christine Pillainayagam

Speak Now (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

1989 (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift

Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars by David Bowie

Top 5 Genres:

Pop

Indie

Rock

Brit-Pop

Riot Grrrl

5 notes · View notes

sexy-footballer-dreams · 3 years

Text

Players summary

All posts of a specific player. The players listed here are ordered alphabetically and only players are listed that have appeared on this blog.

• 🔗 Abdelhamid Sabiri 🇲🇦

• 🔗 Achraf Hakimi 🇲🇦

• 🔗 Allan Saint-Maximin 🇫🇷

• 🔗 Alphonso Davies 🇨🇦

• 🔗 Amine Adli 🇫🇷

• 🔗 Amine Harit 🇲🇦

• 🔗 André Trinidade 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Andrey Santos 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Ansu Fati 🇪🇸

• 🔗 Antonee Robinson 🇺🇸

• 🔗 Antonio Rüdiger 🇩🇪

• 🔗 Ashley Young 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Aurélien Tchouaméni 🇫🇷

• 🔗 Ben Godfrey 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Breel Embolo 🇨🇭

• 🔗 Bruno Guimaraes 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Bukayo Saka 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Christian Kouamé 🇨🇮

• 🔗 Christopher Scott 🇩🇪

• 🔗 Cody Gakpo 🇳🇱

• 🔗 David Alaba 🇦🇹

• 🔗 David Neres 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Dayot Upamecano 🇫🇷

• 🔗 Denzel Dumfries 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Duván Zapata 🇨🇴

• 🔗 Eduardo Camavinga 🇫🇷

• 🔗 #Ellis Harrison 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

• 🔗 Ezri Konsa 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Francis Amuzu 🇧🇪

• 🔗 Gabriel Jesus 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Gabriel Martinelli 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Gavin Bazunu 🇮🇪

• 🔗 Geisson Perea 🇨🇴

• 🔗 Geoffrey Kondogbia 🇨🇫

• 🔗 Hee-Chan Hwang 🇰🇷

• 🔗 Hueng-min Son 🇰🇷

• 🔗 Ibrahima Konaté 🇫🇷

• 🔗 Irfan Fandi Ahmad 🇸🇬

• 🔗 Jacob Ramsey 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Jeffrey Schlupp 🇬🇭

• 🔗 Jeremy Doku 🇧🇪

• 🔗 Jesse Lingard 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Joao Gomes 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Joe Gomez 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Jonathan David 🇨🇦

• 🔗 Joshua Zirkzee 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Jude Bellingham 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Jules Koundé 🇫🇷

• 🔗 Julian Alvarez 🇦🇷

• 🔗 Jurriën Timber 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Justin Kluivert 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Keshi Anderson 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Kingsley Coman 🇫🇷

• 🔗 Kylian Mbappé 🇫🇷

• 🔗 Lautaro Martinez 🇦🇷

• 🔗 Leon Bailey 🇯🇲

• 🔗 Leroy Sané 🇩🇪

• 🔗 Lisandro Martinez 🇦🇷

• 🔗 Lyle Foster 🇿🇦

• 🔗 Manuel Akanji 🇨🇭

• 🔗 Manuel Benson 🇧🇪

• 🔗 Marcus Rashford 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Mario Lemina 🇬🇦

• 🔗 Matheus Pereira 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Michy Batshuayi 🇧🇪

• 🔗 Nathan Aké 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Odion Ighalo 🇳🇬

• 🔗 Ollie Watkins 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Paulinho 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Pedri 🇪🇸

• 🔗 Pervis Estupiñán 🇪🇨

• 🔗 Quincy Promes 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Raheem Sterling 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Reece James 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Renato Sanches 🇵🇹

• 🔗 Rico Lewis 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Rodri 🇪🇸

• 🔗 Rodrygo Goes 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Romain Saiss 🇲🇦

• 🔗 Romelu Lukaku 🇧🇪

• 🔗 Romeo Lavia 🇧🇪

• 🔗 Ronald Araujo 🇺🇾

• 🔗 Ryan Gravenberch 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Salomon Kalou 🇨🇮

• 🔗 Samuel Da Granada 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Steven Bergwijn 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Tajon Buchanan 🇨🇦

• 🔗 Tammy Abraham 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Thiago Silva 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Trent Alexander-Arnold 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Tyrone Mings 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

• 🔗 Vincent Kompany 🇧🇪

• 🔗 Vinicius Jr 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Virgil Van Dijk 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Vitinho 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Vitor Jacaré 🇧🇷

• 🔗 Weston McKennie 🇺🇸

• 🔗 Wilfried Bony 🇨🇮

• 🔗 Wilfried Zaha 🇨🇮

• 🔗 Xavi Simons 🇳🇱

• 🔗 Yeboah Amankwah 🇬🇭

8 notes · View notes

dedicatedtodance · 3 days

Text

National Dance Radio Airplay

Top 50 for the week ending May 25, 2024

Addicted --Zerb, The Chainsmokers feat/INK -2

Lighter --Galantis, David Guetta, 5 Seconds of Summer -1

Make You Mine --Madison Beer -3

Heaven Or Not --Diplo & Riva Starr featuring/Kareem Lomax -4

Shiver --John Summit & HAYLA -5

Whatever --KYGO featuring Ava Max -7

Lovers In A Past Life --Calvin Harris & Rag'N'Bone Man -6

Not Even Love --Seven Lions, ILLENIUM featering/ASDIS -8

Everything You Do --AFROKI, Afrojack, Steve Aoki, Avviella -12

The Way It Is ---Cheat Codes X Two Friends -9

Carry You --Martin Garrix & Third Party, Oaks, Declan J. Donovan -11

I Don't Wanna Feel --David Guetta & OneRepublic -13

Last Of Us --Gryffin featuring/Rita Ora -14

Illusion --Dua Lipa -21

Lift You Up --LF System -17

Dance Alone --SIA featuring/Kylie Minogue -10

Thank You (Not So Bad) --Dimitri Vegas, Like Mike -18

Those Words --Badger & Natasha Bedingfield -27

I Just Need --Daniel Allan featuring Lyrah -15

Complicated --Luca Schreiner -19

Last Night --LOOFY -26

Weight of the World --Bonnie X Clyde -23

Forever (Stay Like This) --Armin Van Buuren -24

Saving Up --Dom Dolla -28

Take So Long (Find You) --ARTY featuring/XIRA -22

Rizz --AYYBO -20

End Of Time --Lucas & Steve X LAWRENT feat/Jordan Shaw -29

***Chase it (Mmm Da Da) --Bebe Rexha -448

Da Da Dum --Baby Jane -33

I Go Dance ---Kiesza -35

On Again --MAU P -32

Thinking 'Bout Us --Dannii Minogue & Autone -16

***Fire --MEDUZA, OneRepublic, Leony -54

Glad I Found You --Elderbrook & George Fitzgerald -37

Use To --Deerock & Sammy Adams -40

Never Be Alone --Becky Hill & Sonny Fodera -25

Blue Monday --Above & Beyond -31

Happier --The Blessed Madonna feat/Clementine Douglas -34

Mine Still --Sonny Fodera feat/Blythe -44

Cutting Loose ---Disco Lines, J. Worra, Anabel Englund -36

We Can't Be Friends (Wait for your Love) --Ariana Grande -42

***Go Back --John Summit featuring/Julia Church -275

Fortnight --Taylor Swift & Post Malone -47

Espresso ---Sabrina Carpenter -50

We Ain't Here For Long --Nathan Dawe -41

Waiting For Tonight --Fisher & Jennifer Lopez -49

Houdini --Dua Lipa -46

Murder on the Dancefloor --Sophie Ellis-Bextor -45

Why Should I? --Z3LLA -38

Tell Me Who You Are --Morgin Madison, Ryan Lucian, JAS. -39

#dedicatedtodance

0 notes

lemmonlyman · 2 years

Text

Allan x Ellie - Ever Since New York

#cant stop won’t stop with these two #first sign of HD clips and I just HAD TOO #obvs once we get the actual HD version out im gonna be able to do something more substantial #but until then 😩#Allan x Ellie #Allan Grant #Ellie Sattler #jurassicparkedit #jurassicworldedit

52 notes · View notes

parkerbombshell · 1 year

Link

0 notes

punkcider · 5 years

Photo

the original dinosaur fighting parents

#Jurassic Park 3 #never happened #you hear me??#ellie sattler #ellie x grant #allan grant #jurassic park #jurassic world #jurassic park fanart #jurassic series #punksterart #fanart #painting #drawing #quick sketch #digital art

41 notes · View notes

creadsmarvel · 3 years

Text

Comic Reading Rec List

by my followers @marvellfashion

Spectacular Spider-Man (2003) #14. Jenkins, Rivera ✅

Uncanny X-Force (2010) Rick Remender ✅

Exiles (2001) Judd Winick

What if? Magik (2018) Leah Williams

X-23 (2010) Marjorie Liu

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #500+ Matt Fraction

New X-Men (2004) Kyle

Black Widow (2010) Marjorie Liu

Astonishing X-Men (2004) Marjorie Liu

Dazzler: X song (2018) Magdelene

X-Treme X-Men: Mekanix (2001) Chris Claremont

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (2015) Henderson

Unbelievable Gwenpool (2016)

Fantastic Four (1998) Hickman

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #475+ Ed Brubaker

X-Men: Legacy (2008) Carey

Gambit (2012) James Asmus

All New X-Factor (2014) Racist writer so 🏴‍☠️

Miles Morales: Spider-Man (2018) Saladin Ahmed

Black Bolt (2017) Saladin Ahmed

Exiles (2018) Saladin Ahmed

Quicksilver: No Surrender (2018) Saladin Ahmed

Dark Wolverine (2009) #75+ Marjorie Liu

Next Wave: Agents of H.a.T.E. (2006) Warren Ellis

Daredevil (2014) Mark Waid

Thor: God of Thunder (2012) Jason Aaron

Avengers: The Children’s Crusade (2010) Allan Heinberg

FF (2012) Matt Fraction

Black Widow (2014) Nathan Edmondson

Black Widow (2016) Mark Waid

Black Cat (2019) Jed MacKa

Daredevil (2019) Chip Zdarsky

Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man (2017) Chip Zdarsky

Runaways (2017) Rainbow Rowell

Hawkeye (2012) Matt Fraction

All New Hawkeye (2015) Jeff Lemire

Hawkeye (2016) Kelly Thompson

Storm (2014) Greg Pak

X-men (2013)

#i’ll updated as I go along and you can rec me comics anytime 💚

41 notes · View notes

thrakaboom · 3 years

Text

*Total: 93

+Books for School: 11

*Graphic Novels: 53

^Audio Books/Read Alouds: 35

I may have missed some bc I didn’t do a good job of keeping track of what I read illegally whoops, or things I read in floppies that may have gotten trades

^Call the Midwife - Jennifer Worth

The Light Fantastic - Terry Pratchett

So You Want to Be a Wizard - Diane Duane

*Green Lantern: Legacy - Minh Le

^*Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight: Grimm - J. M. Dematteis

^The Lightning Thief - Rick Riordan

The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven - Sherman Alexie

^*Superior Foes of Spider-Man Vol 1: Getting the Band Back Together -Nick Spencer)

^*Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe - Cullen Bunn

^*Deadpool Killistrated - Cullen Bunn

^*Deadpool Kills Deadpool - Cullen Bunn

^*Wolverine: Old Man Logan - Jeff Lemire

^*Superior Foes of Spider-Man Vol 2: The Crime of the Century - Nick Spencer

^*Superior Foes of Spider-Man Vol 3: Game Over - Nick Spencer

^*Avengers: Rage of Ultron - Rick Rememder

*Will Eisner's the Spirit: The Corpse-Makers - Francesco Francavilla

^*Irredeemable Ant-Man Vol 1: Low-Life - Robert Kirkman

The Isle of the Lost - Melissa De La Cruz

+Hard Times - Charles Dickens

^*Young Avengers Vol. 1: Sidekicks - Allan Heinberg

^Magic for Liars - Sarah Gailey

Beauty Queens - Libba Bray

+The Importance of Being Ernest - Oscar Wilde

*X-Babies: Stars Reborn - Gregg Schigiel

^*Uncanny Avengers: Unity Vol 1: Lost Future - Gerry Duggan

^*The Superior Spider-Man, Vol. 1: My Own Worst Enemy - Dan Slott

* X-Men: Children of the Atom - Joe Casey

^*Hulk: World War Hulk - Greg Pak

^*Moon Knight: From the Dead - Warren Ellis

^*Deadpool, Vol. 3: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - Gerry Duggan

Dog Run Moon - Callan Wink

^The Science of Discworld - Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart, and Jack Cohen

^The Deal of a Lifetime - Fredrik Backman

*Zatanna and the House of Secrets - Matthew Cody

^Girl in Hyacinth Blue - Susan Vreeland

The Hanging Tree - Ben Aaronovitch

+Kinky - Denise Duhamel

^*Gotham Central: In the Line of Duty - Greg Rucka

^*Batman/The Flash: The Button - Tom King & Joshua Williamson

Murder Past Due - Miranda James

* Archie Vol. 1 - Mark Waid

*Event Leviathan - Brian Micheal Bendis

^Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

^Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz

+Hawksmoor - Peter Ackroyd

+American Journal: 50 Poems for Our Time - Tracy K. Smith

+Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings: Poems - Joy Harjo

*X-Men Noir - Fred Van Lente

*My Hero Academia Volume 1 - Kohei Horikoshi

+Waterland - Graham Swift

+Psychology in Modules: 10th Edition - David G. Myers

+England, England - Julian Barnes

^Lies Sleeping - Ben Aaronovitch

*Navajo Code Talkers - Blake Hoena

*Superman End of the Century - Stuart Immonen

*X-Men Noir: Mark of Cain - Fred Van Lente

The Science of Discworld II: The Globe - Terry Pratchett, Ian Stewart, and Jack Cohen

Lords and Ladies - Terry Pratchett

*Ultimate Comics X: Origins - Jeph Leob

Educated - Tara Westover

Secondhand Bodies and One-Winged Butterflies - Gwyneth Campbell**

*X-Men: Lifedeath - Chris Claremont & Barry Windsor-Smith

^*Superman: Secret Origins - Geoff Johns

^*Sandman: Volume 1: Preludes and Nocturnes - Neil Gaiman

^Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury

^Sandry's Book - Tamora Pierce

^The October Man - Ben Aaronovitch

The Ghosts of Evolution - Connie Barlow

+Twelfth Night - William Shakespeare

*New Mutants Classic Vol. 2 - Bob Mcleod & Chris Claremont

*Wolverine Vol 1: The Four Sisters - Tom Taylor

*All-New Wolverine: Civil War II - Tom Taylor

*All-New Wolverine: Enemy of the State II - Tom Taylor

*All-New Wolverine: Immune - Tom Taylor

*All-New Wolverine Vol.5: Orphans of X - Tom Taylor

Reaper Man - Terry Pratchett

^*Alpha Flight Classic Vol 1 - John Bryne

^The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents - Terry Pratchett

*John Constantine: Hellblazer, Vol. 1: Original Sins - Jamie Delano

*John Constantine: Hellblazer Vol 2: The Devil You Know - Jamie Delano

*John Constantine: Hellblazer Vol 3: The Fear Machine - Jaime Delano

*Essential X-Factor Vol. 1 - Roger Stern & Louise Simonson

*Essential X-Factor Vol 2 - Louise Simonson

*X-Terminators - Louise Simonson

*X-Force: Cable and the New Mutants - Louise Simonson & Dwight Zimmerman

*X-Force: Under the Gun - Fabian Nicieza

*X-Men: X-Cutioner's Song - Scott Lobdell, Peter David, and Fabian Nicieza

*X-Force: Assault on Graymalkin - Fabian Nicieza

Deep Wizardry - Diane Duane

^The Miniaturist - Jessie Burton

+Britt-Marie Was Here - Fredrik Backman

*Daredevil Vol 1 - Mark Waid

*Dial H for Hero Vol 2: New Heroes of Metropolis - Sam Humphries

**This is the book my best friend wrote!!

#hp's book list #books #long post #hp talks

6 notes · View notes

harvardfineartslib · 4 years

Photo

Happy Birthday to Jacob Lawrence who was born on this day in 1917.

Jacob Lawrence (September 7, 1917 – June 9, 2000) was an American painter known for his portrayals of African-American life. As well as a painter, storyteller, and interpreter, he was an educator. Lawrence is among the best-known 20th-century African-American painters, bringing the African-American experience to life using blacks and browns juxtaposed with vivid colors. He was only 23 years old when he gained national recognition with his 60-panel Migration Series, painted on cardboard. The series depicted the 20th century Great Migration of African-Americans from the rural South to the urban North.

In the 1930s, Lawrence received early artistic training at the Utopia Children’s Center in Harlem where he was encouraged to pursue his passion. He received scholarships and grants to further his art education and was employed as a painter by the Works Progress Administration during the Great Depression. He developed a unique style of narrative painting that often featured a flat picture plane with bold and colorful figures. Aspects of life in Harlem during the Great Depression inspired the colors, shapes, and patterns in Lawrence’s subsequent works.

Lawrence employed a critical and socially conscious lens in his visual storytelling of the African-American experience, as evident in the image shown here entitled “Bus.” Lawrence depicts segregated seating, and the visual contrast between the white people in the front and the Black people seated in the back is stark. Not only is there plenty of space upfront, but the Black people crowded in the rear of the bus are painted without visible eyes or mouths, often looking down.

Image shown: Bus, 1941 Gouache on paper 18 5/16”x 21 7/8” Image from: African American art : 200 years : 40 distinctive voices reveal the breadth of nineteenth and twentieth century art [exhibition coordinator, Michael Rosenfeld ; catalogue essays, Jonathan P. Binstock, Lowery Stokes Sims]. New York, NY : Michael Rosenfeld Gallery, [2008] 156 p. : col. ill. ; 34 cm. Summary: Presents a pictorial review, accompanied by biographical essays, of the many artworks created by African Americans over two centuries, on special exhibit at the Michael Rosenfeld Gallery in New York in 2008. Exhibited artists: Charles Alston, Benny Andrews, Edward Mitchell Bannister, Richmond Barthé, Romare Bearden, John Biggers, Elizabeth Catlett, Eldzier Cortor, Harold Cousins, Beauford Delaney, Joseph Delaney, Aaron Douglas, Robert Scott Duncanson, William Edmondson, Allan Freelon, Palmer Hayden, Joshua Johnson, Sargent Johnson, William H. Johnson, Lois Mailou Jones, Jacob Lawrence, Hughie Lee-Smith, Edmonia Lewis, Norman Lewis, Archibald J. Motley Jr., Marion Perkins, Horace Pippin, Charles Ethan Porter, Betye Saar, August Savage, William Edouard Scott, Charles Sebree, Henry Ossawa Tanner, Alma Thomas, Bob Thompson, Laura Wheeler Waring, Charles White, Ellis Wilson, Hale Woodruff. English Catalog of an exhibition held at Michael Rosenfeld Gallery, New York, Jan. 11-Mar. 15, 2008. Author / Creator Rosenfeld, Michael. Binstock, Jonathan P., 1966- Sims, Lowery Stokes. Michael Rosenfeld Gallery HOLLIS number: 990114867820203941

#jacob lawrence #BornOnThisDay #BOTD #artistsbirthday #blackartist #americanartist #fineartslibrary #harvardfineartslibrary #harvardfineartslib #Harvard #harvard library #HarvardLibrary

9 notes · View notes

negasonicimagines · 5 years

Text

I Led the Revolution in my Bedroom (And I Set all the Zippers Free)

request: ellie x reader hate sex that turns to love PLEASEEEEE it’s such a hot trope pls

synopsis: When Ellie’s paired up with her worst enemy for a school project, things go a bit differently than expected. | Hurricane by Panic! at the Disco

warnings & details: smut (duh), daddy kink, hate sex, swearing, degradation, choking, consent is implied but not as explicit as I usually write it and that is later discussed; however, this is NOT noncon (or even dubcon as far as I know), I just thought it was worth mentioning in the context of a hatesex fic. (However, it is discussed later when Ellie worries she might have gone too far in hindsight.) Overall, this fic just isn’t for the faint of heart when it comes to kink and sexual content and mental health issues.

author’s note: there’s something wrong with us, my thirsty Ellie thots… Also, sorry the ending is rushed. I wanted to get this out and didn’t know how to end it.

There’s just something about you that makes her fucking burn. It hasn’t been literal for a while, but as Ellie watches you flirt with some dorky chick who doesn’t know better, it nearly becomes that way.

Ellie is against slut-shaming, truly, but there’s something about the way you womanize - something about it that makes her so goddamn angry - that she just can’t put her finger on. Maybe it’s that you already get whatever you want because of your mutation that pisses Ellie off to no end: your own room with an attached bathroom (those are typically reserved for people who share a room), money, perfect grades, perfect anything without effort. It’s not fair that you get whoever you want, too.

She knows better than to think you’d influence someone to consent with your powers, of course, you’re not that much of a fucking scumbag, but you have your ways of using them to your advantage. Ellie has first-hand experience, from when you flirt with her to make her uncomfortable. (Well, you’ve never outright said it’s to do that… But she can connect the dots. You look… You’re objectively attractive, and Ellie doesn’t see herself as such.)

“Alright, to your seats, everyone,” the teacher requests, and the girl you were flirting with finally scrams. That was an additionally confusing thing; when you flirt with these unsuspecting girls, Ellie is also frustrated with them for being flirted with. Ellie hates being confused - so she hates you even more for this.

“It’s Monday, which sucks, I know, but I have an exciting announcement to make! You’re going to be creating a project this week, in partners! I will be picking them for you, but the partnerships are based on who I think will make a good team, so you shouldn’t be too disappointed. When I call you and your partner, the two of you can get your rubrics - and your story or poem - and sit together, so no one get too comfortable.” She begins to call the different partnerships, and Ellie’s head perks up at her own name, but it’s followed by yours.

“What the fuck?” She blurts, and the teacher gives her a wary look, but says nothing to her when she approaches.

“Well, this is interesting,” you note, and Ellie scoffs. The teacher explains that the assignment is for each pair to read the short story or poem they were assigned and create a piece of art based on the story, as well as write an essay explaining how the art piece relates to the story.

“So, maybe we could each do half the assignment?” you suggest once the teacher’s done explaining.

“That’s a stupid fucking idea, how are you supposed to know how the artwork relates to the story for the essay if you didn’t make the work yourself?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Unless the person making the artwork took notes,” you argue.

“Seriously? More work for me? Nice try,” Ellie remarks with another scoff. You’re not as smooth as you think you are.

“I never said you’d have to make the art,” you retort.

”What? Did you think you’d get to paint another monstrosity like the one outside of Mr. Rasputin’s classroom and screw this up for both of us? Look, I’m not in the mood to fail. I’ll do both parts if you just shut the fuck up,” Ellie snarks, not in the mood to deal with you today. She gets a weird pang of hurt that doesn’t seem to fit in with anything, and your posture suddenly straightens. The teacher eyes you for a moment. Ellie doesn’t know why, so she ignores it.

“Oh, so you can tell the teacher you did all the work and I’ll get a zero? No thanks. I guess we’ll have to figure something out after reading the story and independently brainstorming, which I’d like to do for the rest of the class so I don’t have to listen to your bitching. Just meet me at my dorm later.”

“No, you meet me at mine.”

“Whatever, I don’t care! You’re such a fucking brat, jeez,” you insult, picking up the paper the story’s printed on and looking it over. Ellie, also wanting to read it, yanks it away from you. “Hey!”

“Hi,” Ellie coldly replies.

“Hi,” you mock in a low, goofy tone. “I’m Ellie and I think I’m so cool because I’m mean.”

“What are you, twelve?”

“If I was, some people would be in a lot of trouble,” you respond with a snicker. “Including you.”

“Ew,” is all she says in reply as she looks over the poem. A Poison Tree by William Blake.

“It’s one of my favorites,” you comment off-handedly.

“What, you read poetry?”

“I read Blake, Poe, and Sappho, yeah, but that’s about it.”

“I’m supposed to believe you read Edgar Allan Poe?”

“He’s not exactly an undiscovered genius, and I do have hobbies other than flirting with pretty girls like you. Calm your fucking tits.”

“My tits are plenty calm,” Ellie - rather dorkily, upon second thought - retorts with a glare, putting the paper down between you both.

You just chuckle, afterwards getting out some notebook paper and jotting down notes. Ellie does the same, but waits a while before doing so - so that you don’t say anything about her copying you.The rest of the class is just the two of you shooting bitchy looks at each other and scribbling. She gets up before you do when the bell rings, stomping out.

Later, after school, her anger continues to simmer on the back burner. After she slams her door and tosses her backpack onto her bed, there’s a knock on her door.

“What?” she groans, plopping down on the edge of her bed and slouching.

“We kinda have a project to work on, and you said I had to come to your room. Remember?”

“Of course I remember, I’m not stupid like you,” Ellie insults. “Just come in.”

“And yet I’m the one who has an idea of what to do for the art piece…” You comment as you enter, closing the door behind you and leaning against it. She straightens her posture before you can remark on it.

“Who says I don’t have an idea?”

“Well, do you?” You wonder, smirking at Ellie’s loss for words.

“No, but I bet nothing’s better than whatever horseshit you came up with,” Ellie doesn’t hold back now that it’s just the two of you.

“I think it’d be interesting if we made a short comic where the narrator and the subject of the narrator’s hatred were the same person, but the reader doesn’t know until the end.”

Well, that actually is a pretty good idea… Ellie thinks. No!

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard in my fucking life. God, I bet you’re not even a mutant. You’re just a succubus who had your brain removed on the same contract that cost you your soul,” Ellie remarks, and you scoff.

“At least you’re clever, even if you’re an asshole who doesn’t know how to have fun,” you argue.

“You’re so immature.”

“And you’re so pretentious.”

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“You’re a rude fucking prick.”

“You’re a bastard!”

“I bet you’re still a virgin,” you remark, pushing off the door and ambling the short distance towards her, getting close before finishing: “And it’s only because of your personality.”

“And I bet the reason you stay home during summer break is only because you’re so annoying that your family doesn’t think it’s worth it to fly you out of state,” Ellie spats back, hoping she’s not blushing as hard as she feels like she is at your proximity, your words.

“Bitch,” you curse, and Ellie rises up. You stumble back, and that fills her with just a little more confidence than it should.

“Whore.”

“Oh, wow! Everybody, gather ‘round, feminist crusader Ellie Phimister herself just fucking slut-shamed. God, you are such a hypocritical fucking cunt!” You wander backwards to where you were standing before as you rant, not taking into account the fact that Ellie’s following you. She shoves you into the door, lips hard against yours and hands grabbing at your face, grabbing again a little further back so that they’re in your hair.

She’s so rough - too rough, in the best way.

“Finally,” you breathe once she’s no longer holding your lips captive.

“Shut up,” Ellie replies, and that’s something you can do. She grabs you by the shoulders and turns you, pushing you onto her bed before straddling you and kissing you again… And again… And again… She gropes your chest greedily, unfiltered want surging between the both of you.

It’s rather lackluster foreplay, but somehow her just ripping and groping and taking what she wants from you makes it even better, she doesn’t even care to butter you up before harshly unbuttoning your jeans and-

“Oh,” you moan softly. She curls her fingers experimentally, and you can’t help but admire the focused expression on her face before you remember that you’re supposed to hate her, too. She continues to curl them and your head falls back onto the pillow.

She slides her fingers out of you and circles the tips of a couple on your clit. Your own digits curl into the sheets and when her hand wraps around your neck you can’t help yourself.

“Daddy,” you keen.

“Daddy, seriously? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“S-sorry, ha, Ellie,” you moan as she slides her fingers in deeper, your right knee lifting to take her in some more.

“Did I say to stop?” She squeezes your throat - only minimally restricting airflow (so far) and creating the most delightful ache - and you shake your head. “God, I could just squeeze the fucking life out of you.”

“You didn’t- Ugh, please, Daddy,” you whine as she clenches harder with her statement and keeps fucking you with those - despite their thinness and shortness - enjoyable digits of hers. “Harder, Daddy, oh god, fuck, don’t stop.”

“I won’t fucking stop, you dirty fucking slut, take my fucking fingers.”

Your hips rock against her hand and you paw at her shoulders, eventually clutching her trademark jacket as you gasp and squirm.

If Ellie wasn’t enjoying herself before - she totally was - she definitely is now as you lose control of your powers, giving her two perceptions of the event taking place: she maintains her own, but experiences yours dually. It’s overwhelming in more ways than one, far more intimate than either of you anticipated this being - not to mention it’s intense in a sensory aspect.

She tightens her grip on your throat to get her bearings as she swears and moans, curling her fingers inside of you and experiencing just how fucking good it feels as well. The world is dancing in and out of your shared sight due to your asphyxiation, but Ellie needs this as she continues to clench those appendages so deep and feel it like it’s happening to her as well.

Ellie moves her fingers to your swollen clit on instinct, feeling just how close you are and stroking fast. She moans before you do when the orgasm hits, clutching your neck for purchase and moaning with you; your name, her name, curses and apologies and gratified fragments. She continues to tease your clit until she squeaks with overstimulation, tearing her hands from you before you pass out due to oxygen deprivation.

Your perception slips away from hers quickly as you come down and Ellie feels so fucking empty without it, without your pain on her neck and the feeling of being absolutely fucked inside of her. You pant out more apologies with drooping eyes.

“No, no, that was…” Ellie offers a trembling sigh. You weakly nod in understanding.

Ellie finds herself studying your flesh a little more: tracing her fingertips on the clearly sore parts of your neck, touching at the strip of stomach and hint of your mound visible due to both your shirt riding up and your pants being unbuttoned.

“Just a second, I’ll- I’ll take care of you,” you offer.

“No, uh… I’m taken care of,” Ellie reassures with a nervous bit of scoffing.

And then it hits her why she doesn’t like you flirting with other girls; why your flirting with her made her stomach do a flip. Why she expressed her anger by shoving her fingers inside your most delicate place as opposed to shoving her fist into your face.

She likes you. A lot. She wants to do this again and again, gentler and rougher and feeling it the whole time.

The next thing to hit her is a wave of guilt, crashing over her as she continues to examine your spent body. You almost fainted.

“You sure? I- I won’t choke you or anything, I’m not really a sadist, uh, physically,” you extend the offer again with some reassurance.

“Physically?” Ellie can’t help but wonder.

“Well, I don’t mind the thought of edging someone, or teasing them ‘til they just can’t take it anymore, obviously, but… What’s it matter to you, anyway?”

“Just curious. In case this happens again or something,” Ellie plays it off.

“Oh, I don’t think I could ever top that, I just wanted to at least get you off in return,” you confess.

“You do know what happened, right?” She questions.

“Well, yeah, but it wasn’t real for you,” you tell her, and there’s a certain sort of sadness there in your tone. It flickers within her as well, and she recognizes it from earlier in the day.

“Are you okay?” Ellie honestly wonders. She’s always been envious of your powers, never realizing just how difficult it must be to constantly keep your reality from seeping into the minds of everyone else; how torturous it must be in that room by yourself when your nightmares are just a little more real than the dreams of everyone else…

How lonely you must be, different from everyone else, even the people who are supposed to be like you. No wonder you’re such a flirt, you must be desperate to make a connection, to be less isolated.

“Umm… Sure?” No one ever asks you that.

“Are you?” With such a strange answer, Ellie can’t help but push.

“Yeah, just- Nothing.” You’re smiling, though, as you head to the bathroom.

Ellie thinks some more, sitting on the edge of her bed. Has she ruined her chances by doing what she did with you? You’re the opposite of unhappy about it, but maybe that’s because it was - as far as you know - with no strings attached?

She feels so stupid that she didn’t notice it before, the way your smile makes her cheeks burn and how she can’t even look at you in that one skirt. How when you toss your hair and giggle at another girl, envy is what pools in her chest, not fury.

When you come out, she says your name.

“What?” you ask, and it makes her feel raw how you suddenly look and act like nothing’s happened, disguising those forming bruises on your neck and having fixed your bedhead. You look like she didn’t just feel all of you as herself, like you weren’t just shaking underneath her and calling her that, like…

“Y/N,” she repeats.

“I- I didn’t break you, did I? Let me-” Your hands outstretch prematurely, you’re ready to touch at her temples to peer inside and she’s almost tempted to let you just to make the connection again, but...

Ellie shakes her head. Have you broken someone? Have you broken yourself? It would explain the way you float from girl to girl saying things that mean nothing to either of you. You wouldn’t want to risk hurting or being hurt.

“You didn’t.”

“Then why aren’t you calling me stupid or telling me to get out?” you wonder.

“Because I don’t think you’re stupid, and I don’t want you to leave,” Ellie says.

“You’re kidding,” you state rather than joke. She shakes her head. “What do you want, then?”

“You.”

“Oh… So you’ve finally embraced it.” She wants to kiss that smirk off your face again. You take a seat next to her.

“Didn’t realize there was anything to embrace, until…” Ellie admits, lifting her hand - which she should probably go wash.

“Oh- Oh my gods, Eleanor Phimister!” you playfully scold with a scoff.

She nods, a bit ashamed of her level of dumbassery while you giggle.

“And you call me stupid…”

“To be fair, I thought you were flirting with me just to piss me off.”

“Oh my god, you think you were pissed off. That’s adorable.” It’s almost infuriating to her how genuinely endearing you seem to find that.

“What was I, then?” Ellie asks in a sort of protest.

“Flustered,” you tell her. Like it was obvious. Oh, it was so obvious, she realizes.

“That does make more sense, but- But…”

“But what? With all the pent-up sexual frustration in your eyes, It’s honestly surprising you didn’t jump my bones sooner. Do you even jerk off?”

Ellie scoffs, but can’t help but feel more than a little embarrassed.

“Not really… Some of us have to train and stuff, and it’s tiring Can’t all have perfect control of our powers.”

“You of all people should know my control isn’t perfect,” you retort, seemingly always able to dismantle her defenses. You seem more somber now, Ellie realizes she probably made a mistake in calling your control perfect, reminding you of the times it wasn’t.

“True,” Ellie admits. “Um, so… What are we now?”

You shrug.

“What’s that mean?” She wonders. You just shrug again. “Y/N. Seriously.”

“I don’t know. I don’t really care.”

“You don’t… Care? But we just…”

“And that was your decision.”

“Wait, you’re not saying…? I didn’t... Um, did I, um-?” Ellie thinks she might be sick, not bothering to hold back the horror on her face. Her dark eyes are wide and glittering more than usual with almost-tears, mouth slightly agape and bottom lip trembling. Her iconic eyebrows are furrowed slightly and you quickly take her shaking hands.

“No!” you quickly shut that train of thought down. “No, of course not, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant at all. I just meant… It never would’ve happened if you hadn’t initiated things. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I choked you with my bare hands and called you a slut and whore and-”

“And I liked it a lot, sweetie, no need to brag,” you laugh it off, squeezing her hands.

“But- It wasn’t right, not like that. It wasn’t a scene or anything like that.”

“Ooh, look who’s brushed up on her BDSM vocabulary...” you tease.

“Stop making jokes!” she snaps, and you flinch, ripping your hands from hers. “I’m... Y/N.” Her expression softens, but you’ve tucked into yourself, to be as far from her as possible without getting up from where you sit on the edge of the bed with her. “I’m sorry. I have… Anger issues. Clearly. I’m working on them. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, I just overreacted,” you brush off her apology, which is even more frustrating, but she just brushes off the brushing off in hopes of getting back on topic.

“The reason I wanna talk about this stuff is ‘cause- Because I don’t want to be enemies anymore. I like you, a lot. I get it if you only wanted this whole whatever to be just a one-time thing, but-”

“Ellie, I’m not the only person with my abilities. I’m not even the only girl. I mean, that is the only reason you want me, isn’t it?” Ellie shakes her head, throat tightening in sympathy - a feeling she’s steadily getting used to the more she talks to you. “Then what could it possibly be?”

“You’re funny, you clearly know me better than I know myself, you’re Y/N fucking L/N, A.K.A- non-literally -the hottest girl in school… The real question is, what could you possibly want to do with me?”

“Well, I mean, you’re a challenge. Not just that, but… I mean, you could probably beat me up, even though you’re really tiny and adorable. I find that attractive in a woman. And… You’re not so boring yourself, either. Like, Quentin, at lunch last week? Impressive. And you’re smart as a whip, too. And-”

“That’s enough,” Ellie half-heartedly chuckles, flustered at the outpouring of compliments.

“Right.” You smile knowingly.

“So, uh… What now?” Ellie wonders.

“I don’t know. Whatever you want, I guess.”

“I already said I like you, that I want you,” Ellie says - and it’s true that she did - but this time it feels stronger.

“Yeah, well, I’ve heard that a lot of different times with a lot of different meanings, so, if you don’t mind being a little more clear? Like, do you want to just hate-fuck regularly? Or be friends with benefits? Or just do it sometimes when we’re bored, or?”

“Um… I want you to be my girlfriend,” Ellie says, hurting even more for you that you think when someone says they want you, they just want your body.

“Oh! Okay,” you agree, like it’s simple, like you didn’t hate-fuck and then partially unpack some weird emotional shit on both sides, and then decide this.

“Okay?!”

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll be your girlfriend,” you confirm.

“Well, okay…”

“Okay,” you reply brightly. “That’s settled then. Wanna make out?”

“Sure.”

85 notes · View notes