#either elated or ready to off myself

[lordacne]

zoomies

#lordacne #me #myself #blurry train pics #mood has been manic #either elated or ready to off myself #there has been no in between #will probably delete

[starrylothcat]

I come bearing gift 🥳 (aka filthy fic prompts 👀)

Can I request "I'm either joining or watching, you pick." with Hunter 😘

Oh my goodness, this took me way longer than I anticipated!

(No) Vacancy

🔥Hunter x Female!Reader One-Shot🔥

Summary: Hunter hears you calling out for him, and he’s ready to answer. 5800 words.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+. Minors DNI. Female masturbation, PiV sex, oral, slight overstimulation? Pure smut.

Author’s Note: Uhhh this one got away from me and is pure, PURE self indulgent smut. Hunter is rotting me inside and out. I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!

@wizardofrozz I think you sent me this prompt? If not, true person reveal yourself! But I hope you like it! 🥺👉👈 I slightly edited the prompt in the fic. Thanks for the request!!!

Thank you @wanderer-six and @mylifeisactuallyamess for proof-reading this nonsense. ❤️

“Well, it’s no royal Naboo palace, but it’ll do.” You observed the outside of the dingy inn as you slipped your hood off your head.

It was tucked away in a dark, grimy corner of a seedy town you were dispatched to by Cid.

A neon “No Vacancy” sign flickered on and off, half the letters dark. The road leading up to it was completely empty except for you and Clone Force 99, who were illuminated by the fading neon lights.

You raised an eyebrow at Hunter, who gave a small shrug as you checked the map on your datapad, making sure this was the right place.

“I’d rather stay on The Marauder…or take my chances on the streets.” Echo huffed, a look of disdain on his face as he walked up beside Hunter, both clad in civilian clothes, as were the rest of you.

“Aww, it can’t be that bad! At least we get our own rooms! I can’t remember the last time that happened, if ever!”

Wrecker grasped Tech’s shoulder, giving it a hearty shake in elation as Tech tried to hold on to his goggles, his body being heaved back and forth.

Wrecker was overjoyed at the thought of a real bed and space to spread out, as was Omega.

“I’ve never had an entire room to myself before!” She buzzed with excitement, not caring about the rundown appearance of the inn.

“It is the most logical situation, if we are to gather any intel for Cid.” Tech gave a quick glare to Wrecker, who had released his poor shoulder. He adjusted his goggles. “If we act as travelers we won’t attract as much attention, even if the state of this lodging is…less than desirable. But I will be honest in stating it will be nice to have a sleep uninterrupted by snoring.”

Tech gestured at Wrecker, his goggles reflecting the flashing neon sign of the lodge as he looked down at his datapad.

“Hey, I don’t snore that loud!” Wrecker pouts, crossing his arms. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one hearing it.” Echo scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Alright boys, enough.” Hunter pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s only for a few nights, and we can all agree that even though this place isn’t…grand by any means, it’s better than nothing. The faster we can find this shipment location, the faster we can get off this planet.” Hunter felt exposed without his armor, and didn’t want to be here any longer than anyone else.

You were all tired from the long journey here. You were stuck on The Marauder for a few days too long, and everyone was on a slight edge, ready for real rest.

You had been sent to this backwater Outer Rim planet by Cid, tasked with gathering intel on the whereabouts of a high-value smuggled shipment. According to her, the parcel was worth enough credits to buy ten Marauders, and then some.

“This is a delicate situation, bandana, and your goon squad attracts a lot of attention. I need you to blend in, and not cause too much trouble, you understand?” Cid said as she gave Hunter an irritated look from behind her desk.

“We’ll try our best.” Hunter frowned, knowing this mission wasn’t going to be as easy as it seemed. It never was.

Cid rolled her eyes. “Well, I know subtlety isn’t your strong suit so I booked you a place to stay, to stake out and listen for any leads. Your ship might cause a stir, especially if you show up in armor, so you’ll be staying here, acting as civilians while you find the location of the shipment.” She slid over a holodisc with coordinates to a small town inn, where you’d be staying. “Try not to mess this one up, okay, broody? If they get a whiff of someone poking their nose around, they will move it and it might be gone for good. There’s a lot of credits at stake here. You best blend in, for your own sake.”

You remembered Hunter trying to argue with Cid, saying being in one place too long without armor was dangerous. But Cid promised there wouldn’t be trouble if you kept your heads down.

“I don’t know about you, but a real shower is enough for me. I guess we finally have something to thank Cid for.” You quipped, trying to stay positive.

The corners of Hunter’s lips formed a tiny smirk at your comment.

“Don't get too excited, even The Marauder has hot water. Most of the time. Can’t guarantee anything at this place.” You gave him a playful look, smirking back.

Hunter dug into one of his pockets, pulling out small cards that allowed you to access your rooms. “Alright, we’ll meet up at the rendezvous spot early tomorrow. We have a lot of ground to cover.” You looked at your access card, a small number indicating your room location.

Looking at the map of the inn, your room was right next to Hunter’s, the rest of the boys and Omega’s room spread throughout the lodging.

You bid goodnight to everyone as they retreated to their rooms, leaving you and Hunter walking to your own. “Do you think this shipment even exists?” You asked, also getting tired of the wild womp rat chases Cid sent you on.

Hunter let out a sigh. “I don’t know. The intel is limited, and I sense Cid isn’t telling us everything. As usual.” You gave him a soft look, knowing look. Hunter was growing tired of working for Cid, and carries a lot of stress over protecting his team and Omega. His dedication to his family was something you admired about him, among many other things.

“At least she coughed up some accommodation this time around.” You said as Hunter gave a grunt, his eyes flicking to yours. “Yeah…we’ll see if the cards even unlock our rooms. If we even have them.” You had reached your individual doors, stopping in front of Hunter’s, yours only a few feet down the hall from his.

You smiled, the words coming out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. “Well if your access card doesn’t work, you can always come to my room.” Hunter’s eyes locked on yours as you felt heat blaze up to your cheeks at the realization of what you just said. “Err…I uh… I could stay with Omega and you could take my room is what I meant!” You stuttered, trying to salvage your previous statement.

You cursed yourself internally, knowing Hunter probably sensed your heartbeat increasing. You’ve noticed stumbling your words more often around him. Any time he looked your way, all thoughts exited your head and you could only focus on his deep brown eyes, strong jaw, wide shoulders…

The sound of a door unlocking brought you back to the moment. “Well, it seems like my card works. I guess Cid didn’t stiff us. I’ll have to take you up on that offer another time.” You sucked in your breath, trying to figure out what he meant as he slowly opened his door, but didn’t immediately walk in.

“If you need anything, you know where I am.” Hunter hesitated for a moment, looking at you. What you didn’t know was him having the same thoughts as you, admiring your beauty, secretly wanting to join you in your room, hoping what you claimed was a mistake was actually the truth slipping out.

But he didn’t want to overstep and couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

“Yes…uh…goodnight, Hunter.” He nodded, and stepped into his room before he said something he might end up regretting.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding as you cursed at yourself internally again, accessing your own room. It was small, dinky, and run down, but it was something. The first thing you tested was the shower, and as luck would have it, the water was hot. It was enough to ignore the suspicious stains on the carpet and peeling wallpaper.

You took a long shower, not knowing when you’d have this type of accommodation again, and trying not to think of Hunter, the embarrassment of what you said, but it was getting more difficult.

After your shower you nestled down into the bed, finally able to relax the best you could in these circumstances.

You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the quiet and relish having a room to yourself, finally having a little private time.

Your mind began to wander back to Hunter, as it always did, as you sank into the creaking bed.

You had been with 99 for a while now, acting as an extra hand on missions, also trying to stay afloat by doing odd jobs for Cid. You ran with a pirate gang for a while, dabbled in bounty work, and now you were here. You got along well with the boys and Omega, and finally felt like you had something good, finally belonged.

As you worked alongside Hunter, you began yearning for his gaze, or his rare, surprisingly warm smile. What started off as a small crush has grown into something more and you knew you were falling for him. You tried to deny it, not wanting these feelings to take hold. But you were giving in to him more and more by the day, giving in to his smoky voice, his strength, his loyalty, his everything.

Did he feel the same way? You weren’t sure. But you knew there was some sort of tension between you and it was growing.

You tried to forget these embarrassing thoughts and just go to sleep. But the walls of the rundown inn were thin, and you heard a shower being turned on in the next room.

Hunter’s room.

Heat crept to your cheeks as your mind began to wander again. You imagined him stripping his clothes, neatly placing them at the base of the bed, his naked muscular form revealing itself as he stepped into the hot water.

Stop. You told yourself. He’s your Sergeant. I shouldn’t be thinking of him this way…. But the image of him in the shower was too tempting, as your hand made its way to the waistline of your sleep shorts.

You couldn’t help but think of him thoroughly rubbing himself down with soap, his muscles rippling under the steamy water as the heat released tension from his body.

You imagined his tattoo going all the way down his torso, to his hip, which deliciously dipped to his muscular thighs, which you thought about your hands gripping often. And what lay between his muscular thighs was what really got your mind spinning. You groaned and adjusted your legs, heat beginning to pool between them.

You shouldn’t be having these thoughts. You respected him. He was your teammate. He was your friend.

But you didn’t stop yourself, beginning to get lost in the fantasy as your hand slipped fully beneath your damp panties.

You imagined Hunter’s wet hair stuck to his body as he moaned, his own hand gripping his hard length as he pleasured himself, thinking of you. Water running down his cut muscle, his head thrown back in ecstasy as he brought himself closer to release.

You began to rub circles around your clit, sighing at the sensation, now imagining yourself with him in that shower, his velvet voice murmuring praises in your ear as he thrusted deep inside of you, his warm, calloused hands squeezing every part of your soft flesh.

You thought you were being quiet, stifling your moans as best you could, knowing the walls were thin and Hunter was right on the other side. Maybe you did want him to hear, so he’d know how you truly felt. The thought of him listening only intensified your pleasure and you picked up the pace of your hand, not noticing that Hunter’s shower had stopped a few minutes ago, or that Hunter was hearing every single sound next door.

At first Hunter didn’t want to believe it was you. He had just laid down, his hair damp from the shower, trying to get comfortable. He knew he should be enjoying an actual bed, but his senses were on high alert in this new space. He didn’t like his brothers being so spread out. At the very least, Wrecker’s room was right next door to Omega’s, so he knew that she would be safe if anything were to happen. He knew he shouldn’t worry, but it was habit.

Another worry plagued his mind: you. His thoughts were also preoccupied with you, as they were almost every waking second.

Hunter was struggling with his feelings for you, knowing he couldn’t ignore them much longer. You were reliable, honest, quick-witted, which amused him knowing you were part of a pirate gang before joining them.

You got along with his brothers and Omega liked you, and that was honestly enough for him. He was thinking more and more about his future with his family, and it was hard to visualize that future without you by his side. That’s how he knew he was in deep.

He had wanted to confess his feelings to you multiple times, but always hesitated. He didn’t want to risk ruining your friendship.

Hunter almost told you how he felt tonight, when you were standing outside your door. Hunter wanted to kiss you, take you up on your offer and follow you into your room, show you how much he really cared. But he paused like he always did, not able to find the right words.

Hunter rubbed his face and sighed, wishing he could just sleep.

A faint sound brought him out of his thoughts, his sensitive ears picking up a small moan. He froze, listening as he caught another sigh that sounded awfully similar to your voice.

Hunter first brushed it off to this hotel being less than reputable, probably someone in the room above him watching something illicit on the Holonet.

He was about to put his pillow over his head to drown it out, trying to get a good night’s sleep, but then he heard a louder gasp. It wouldn’t have been heard by anyone else, but he could hear it. There was no denying it now, it was your voice coming from the other side of the wall you shared. The gasps and sighs sounded like they should be coming from a dirty Holonet program, but they were coming from you, from your lips.

His heart thudded, his entire body suddenly on fire, the realization of what you were doing in your room dawning on him.

Hunter knew he shouldn’t listen, but it was impossible for him not to. More soft moans drifted to his ears, his cock instinctually hardening underneath his pants as he imagined you writhing on your bed, your hand working your wet pussy. Were you thinking about him? Someone else? A pang of jealousy shot through him, followed by another pang of guilt. It felt wrong to intrude like this. You deserve privacy, even with his heightened senses, even if you were thinking of someone other than him.

Again, Hunter was going to put his pillow over his head, trying to ignore his throbbing cock and your delicious mewls, but then he heard you again, this time taking the form of his name.

Hunter thought his heart was going to stop. Did he hear correctly? His senses have never led him astray. He focused, listening intently, secretly hoping he was right. Another quiet moan and he heard his name again.

Hunter’s body reacted immediately, intense desire rushing through his veins, goosebumps covering him head to toe as he heard you calling his name. Something primal was climbing its way out of him, not knowing exactly what his next steps were. You were saying his name. You were thinking of him during your most private moment. You must feel the same way that he did for you? All the nights he yearned for you, wanting you, but not knowing how to tell you, or not knowing if you even felt the same way?

Your soft gasps of his name and his name alone was his answer.

His mind was drunk with lust, his body telling him to go next door and help you finish the job. He sat up on his bed, his instincts overtaking his logical brain, and the next thing he knew, he was right outside your door. You were calling out to him, and he couldn’t deny you any longer.

Before he knocked, he could hear your breathing through the door. Your hitched breath as you were bringing yourself closer to release, his name leaving your lips again. He was certain now.

Hunter was ready to break down the door, he needed to see you. To feel you.

Hunter took a breath to focus himself momentarily, trying to get his breathing and heartbeat under control. But he couldn’t wait any longer, your muffled cries the only thing he could focus on. Before he could change his mind, he quickly knocked. For the first time in his life, Hunter had no plan, his mind totally encompassed by you.

He heard you let out a gasp of surprise, then a curse, and quick shuffling. He heard your footsteps coming toward the door. He said your name, his voice low.

You were getting close, your legs shaking, your hand rubbing at just the right spot around your clit, release imminent, your mind intensely focused on Hunter. A loud knock on your door startled you out of your fantasy.

Kriff, who could that be?! You thought, flustered by the interruption and letting out an audible curse. You quickly took your hand out of your pants, frustrated that your fantasy was cut short.

Then you heard Hunter’s voice say your name. You were startled, adrenaline rushed through your body. Why is he knocking at my door so late at night? Something must be wrong. You adjusted yourself, and walked over to the door, just in your nightclothes, panic starting to rise in your chest, the realization that he was right outside your door. Which means he probably heard you. How long was he standing out there? Oh Maker.

“Uh…Hunter? What’s going on?” You asked through the door, trying to play it casual.

There was a moment of silence. “Open the door. Please.”

His voice was strained. You swallowed and grasped the door handle, turning it to open. You pulled the door toward you, only to be pushed back slightly as Hunter barged inside, closing it quickly behind him, his eyes wild. “Hunter…what…what’s going on? Is everything okay?”

You were nervous, he was acting strange and looked disheveled. He wasn’t wearing his bandana, and dressed only in an undershirt and pants. His hair fell around his face as his gaze bore into you. “I heard…you. From my room.” Was all he could muster.

Hunter could smell your arousal in the air of the room and he was close to snapping, all his pent up desire fogging his brain. He needed you, he needed something.

He…heard me? Does he mean…? Oh kriff.

Your face caught on fire at the realization of what he was saying, wanting to disappear into the floor from total humiliation, never to be seen again. You didn’t know what to say, suddenly worried he was mad at you for keeping him awake, demanding to know why his name was coming from your lips, ready to be kicked off the team for insubordination.

You were completely and utterly mortified. Your mind ran circles, trying to think up any excuse. “Hunter I…I’m sorry…I.. didn’t realize…”

“I heard my name.” Hunter interrupted, as he stepped closer to you, his hands forming fists at his sides, his voice shaking. Once again, you wanted to fall through a hole in the floor. You wanted to run away. “You were thinking of me?” His voice was dangerously low as he looked down on you, unclenching his fisted hands and hesitantly resting them on your waist, pleading to himself he wasn’t misreading this entire situation.

Your body quivered, not stopping him as you realized why he was here. He wasn’t upset. He was here to answer your call.

The look in his eyes was absolutely predatory and you noticed a large bulge in his pants as your eyes flicked up and down his body. You were speechless momentarily, but couldn’t deny the ache that was forming between your legs, your heart rate increasing. “I…yes…I was…” was all you could say, your voice barely a whisper. Hunter’s eyes darkened at your words.It was him you were thinking about. No one else.

“Do you think about me often?” he murmured, his voice close to cracking, intoxicated by your scent.

Hunter could see your chest heaving, hear your heart thudding. He could smell a fresh wave of arousal that caused his body to throb as his cock strained against his waistband. “Yes…” You croaked, trembling under his look. His hands gripped your waist tighter, his confidence growing as you answered truthfully. “I could hear everything, your perfect moans…do you realize how long I’ve wanted you?” Hunter hoarsely whispered, barely holding on, his control slipping.

You felt like you were going to explode at his touch and his words. You brought your hands up to grasp his shoulders, his body radiating heat through his clothes.

Were you dreaming?

“Hunter…” a lusty gasp left your lips, and Hunter almost took you then and there. “Let me help you…” He whispered, lowering his head to your neck, his lips brushing right underneath your earlobe.

“I can either join or watch. Your choice.”

Hunter’s voice was deep, and absolutely desperate.

Him admitting he wanted to watch you continue pleasuring yourself almost made you faint, never hearing something so alluring in your entire life.

This had to be a dream.

The thought of him watching you was tempting, but here he was, offering his entire self to you. Something you’ve wanted for so long. You couldn’t pass it up, not now.

“Join me.”

Your voice trembled as you gave him your answer. Hunter lifted his head from your neck, peering into your eyes, searching for the same need that was in his.

“Are you sure?”

You stuttered the words you’ve been wanting to say for months, not seeing any reason to keep it a secret now. “Maker, Hunter…I do want you…I need the real thing, I need you.” Hunter’s eyes flashed, and he let out an anguished growl as he closed the distance between you, pressing his lips to yours in a sloppy and frenzied kiss, doing what you’ve both wanted for so long. It was better than either of you ever imagined, your need for one another finally let loose.

He deepened the kiss by tilting your head back, cradling the back of your skull with his hand, pressing himself even closer to you. You could feel his hot, hard length against your stomach, his craving for you undeniable.

You melted into him, all your secret desire rushing to the surface, tightening your grip on his muscled shoulders. The fingers of his one hand that was holding the back of your head wrapped in your hair, gently tugging your neck even further back as his lips consumed yours. You let out a moan at the sensation, giving him the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, which you eagerly welcomed.

Hunter let out his own gasp as your hands moved from his shoulders to his scalp, your fingernails lightly raking down his crown. You felt like you were floating, the breath completely knocked out of your lungs at his taste and his passion, still not believing he was here, doing this to you.

After what seemed like hours, Hunter reluctantly broke the kiss momentarily, giving you both a chance to catch your breath you didn’t realize you needed.

“I need you, too…” He gasped. “I have for a long time…you have no idea what you do to me, cyar’ika…” Hunter released the back of your head, his warm hands sliding down to your back as he peppered hot, open mouth kisses on your neck. He nipped and sucked at your soft skin, also not believing this was real. If this was real, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest at saying out loud how he felt, and hearing that you felt the same way back.

Hunter’s free hand ghosted under your night shirt, and when you didn’t tell him to stop, he brought it up to your breast, squeezing and pinching the sensitive flesh. Your nipples pebbled at the sensation, his skilled fingers rubbing and rolling the hardened nub, your arousal growing more than you thought you could handle.

Hunter’s tongue licked over your jugular, and he could feel your blood pumping under his tongue, tasting the sweat and craving on your skin, stoking the raging fire in him even more as he walked you back toward the edge of the bed.

You felt the back of your knees bump the mattress, and Hunter held you as you slowly laid down, bringing himself with you. He nestled between your legs, kissing you deeply again, his arms caging you in.

You bucked against him, rubbing yourself against his hard bulge, searching for that delicious friction.

He groaned into your mouth, and now it was Hunter’s turn to desperately rut against you, his control now almost completely gone. You were going to be the end of him.

“I need to see all of you, now.” Hunter ordered as he began urgently tugging at your clothes, needing to feel your skin on his. He rolled off of you momentarily, standing up to practically rip his civvies off his body as you did the same on the bed, shimmying out of your sleepwear and tossing them to the side.

He stopped, his mind finding clarity for one moment as he gazed at your body and you at his. Saliva pooled in your mouth at the sight of him, unbelievably defined, broad chest and muscular arms. His cock swollen and girthy between his narrow waist, glistening with precum, begging for relief. Begging for you.

“Beautiful…so beautiful.” He muttered as he climbed on top of you again, still gazing at you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him back down to your body. Your lips met, this time less intense, as Hunter relished your irresistible taste, the taste he’s been dreaming of. He swallowed every gasp that left your lips, the kiss heating up again as you grasped the sides of his head, your soft skin moving against his hard, battle-scarred body as he rubbed his length against your soaking entrance.

But there was another taste he wanted, needed or he thought he was going to implode.

Hunter pulled himself away from you as a whine left your lips, already missing his touch.

He moved down your body, kissing down your neck, collarbone, stopping at your breasts to take each sensitive nipple in his mouth for brief attention before continuing on. He slid backwards off you until he was kneeling on the ground at the base of the bed. “I want to taste how much you want me.” He growled as he grasped your ankles and pulled you to the edge of the bed, throwing your legs over his shoulders, causing you to yelp at how easily he was manhandling you.

You knew what he was about to do, but that didn’t prepare you for how his mouth felt as he began desperately lapping at your cunt, absolutely devouring you as your hands clenched the sheets for dear life as louder and louder moans escaped from deep in your chest. You couldn’t speak as you were quickly reaching your peak for the second time that night.

Hunter was completely lost now, having your arousal on his tongue, his face pressed in the source of your longing. His cock ached almost painfully, but it had to wait. He wanted you to feel how much he wanted you.

Hunter swirled his tongue around your clit, never wanting this moment to end. He could stay between your legs for the rest of his life, lapping at your juices and hearing every single choked cry that caught in your throat as he hummed against your core in his own daze. He felt your hands suddenly grasping at his hair, tugging as you cried out that you were close, gasping his name. Hunter continued his feast as your body thrashed, intense pressure building in your lower abdomen. With one more long lick, your orgasm washed over you, your back arching off the bed, Hunter’s name a ragged cry as he worked you through your release, not wanting to miss a single drop.

He finally lifted his head from between your thighs, knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer at this rate. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” You blushed at his words as he climbed back on top of you lost in a haze of passion and pure animal instinct. “Ready?” He muttered, still making sure you were okay with this, with him, as he kissed you, tasting yourself on his lips.

“Hunter, I need you inside me right now, please…I need you…”

You couldn’t wait any longer. You had to feel him inside of you.

Your pleads were all he needed to hear as he pushed in to your entrance, holding back every atom in his body that wanted to slam in to you and fuck you senseless. But he didn’t want to hurt you, though his composure was crumbling.

You could feel all the muscles in Hunter’s body tense as he slowly slid in, the sensation of your velvety muscle gliding against him almost making him cum right then and there, his senses completely overloaded.

Hunter bottomed out and brought his forehead to yours, his breath shaking and labored. “You feel incredible…” His tone was low, barely audible. Hunter waited for a moment, feeling you around him, hearing your breathing, inhaling your sweet aroma, still hoping this wasn’t a dream as he let you get used to him inside you, the anticipation ready to rip him apart.

You moved your hips slightly, telling him it was okay to continue, knowing what he wanted.

He nodded wordlessly and began rolling his hips slowly into yours. The feeling of him finally inside you, stretching your walls, took your breath away. Hunter let out a moan so lewd you knew it would be burned into your memories forever.

You locked your ankles around his waist, adjusting the angle of his cock as he moved in you. “You can go faster, Hunter. I want you to fuck me.”

That predatory glint in his eye returned at your bold statement as he increased his pace, your words fueling him.

It was Hunter’s turn to grasp the sheets around your head as he got lost in pleasure, grinding himself in to you, his eyes screwed shut and his head right against yours, his shaking moans escaping his lips right at your ear. Hunter’s senses were completely shot now.

Your taste, smell, sounds…every nerve in his body felt like it was charged with electricity, a current running down his spine as he focused on nothing but you.

Hunter was hitting a spot so deep you couldn’t formulate any thoughts, your own whimpers and gasps growing louder and more desperate.

You could feel another orgasm building, the pressure of his pelvis on yours rubbing on just the right spot. Your hands grasped at the back of his head as your body shook, getting closer to your release.

He was driving himself into you, his control finally gone. The intensity of his thrusts made your mind melt, you had never felt this way with anyone ever before.

Hunter was pressing frantic kisses to the side of your mouth, getting close himself as he fucked you in to the shaking bed.

You could barely make out the jumble of praises he was uttering on your lips between thrusts. “Let go for me…I won’t last much longer…you’re so beautiful like this…”

Hunter’s fervid hips and passionate words brought you to your peak, your orgasm spreading like a tidal wave over your body, your nails digging into Hunter’s skull and he continued to fuck you senseless, his name a chant in the heavy air of the room.

Hunter let out a strained growl as his hips stuttered into yours, your final pinnacle bringing him to his own end as he felt your walls clench around him. “Wh-where?” He gasped as your head lolled against the pillow, trying to keep your eyes open. “Inside.” Your hoarse statement was all he needed to hear as pleasure ripped through his body, pressing impossibly deep into you, his body vibrating with every intense sensation imaginable.

With a final drive of his hips, Hunter collapsed on top of you, careful not to crush you under his weight. For a few moments, it was silent except for your combined gasps, desperate to get air back in your lungs from the exertion.

Your mind was still trying to catch up with everything that had just happened. Hunter was on top of you? Naked? Still inside you? Was it time to wake up from this dream? Hunter lifted his head, looking at you. “I hope the real thing was as good as you imagined.” His voice was soft, his hair sticking to his forehead, glistening with sweat. You’ve never seen him so breathless.

“It was better than good.” You exhaled, still trying to catch your own breath.

Hunter lifted himself up off of you, rolling to the side, feeling slightly dizzy as the electric buzz in his body began to fade as his senses returned to normal. Hunter hummed and brought his hands behind his head, laying on his back. You were silent again for a few moments, but it was comfortable.

“You know,” he finally rumbled, “This place isn’t half bad. I wouldn’t mind if we had to stay a few extra nights.” His eyes flicked to yours, hoping you’d catch his meaning.

“Though I might have to move rooms if my neighbor continues to be so loud. Won’t get any sleep with such a distraction.”

You smiled and rolled on your side toward him. “Hmm, pretty sure I saw the “No Vacancy” sign out front. But I think we can work something out.”

Hunter let out a chuckle at your response, rolling to face you, his face softening.

“I’d like it if we could work something out.”

You smiled at his gentle words, a blush forming on your cheeks. “Me too.”

Hunter pulled you against him, wrapping his body around yours. “Can’t promise you’ll get any sleep in this room, though.” You muttered against his warm body.

Hunter smirked as he brought his lips to yours for a meaningful kiss.

“If it means being with you, it’s worth it.”

#Hunter x reader #hunter x fem!reader #Hunter x you #Hunter tbb x reader #Hunter tbb x female reader #the bad batch fanfiction #Hunter tbb #the bad batch smut #sergeant hunter #tbb fanfiction #starrycatwrites #Hunter tbb x fem!reader #starryrequest #the bad batch #clone force 99 #Hunter tbb x you #Star Wars fanfiction #Hunter tbb smut

[kydrogendragon]

A DELETED SCENE FROM WAKING NIGHTMARE (or an epilogue if you're done by then, but no pressure!)

Starting the Birthday Prompts off with this one!! <3

Sooo not quite a deleted scene, but more like an alternate ending I had thought of initially. Thanks for the request!!!! Epilogue isn't quite ready but I do have one planned for this, so in the meantime, enjoy a happier Dream and Hob if that night had ended on a better note.

Relationship: Hob/Dream Words: 2233 Warnings: None Ao3 Link

“Very well, then. I shall not trouble you further.” His Stranger closes his eyes and he watches as a single teardrop trails down his perfect, pale cheek. Of course his brain would still make him cry beautifully. “Allow me to ask you, one final time, Hob.” His Stranger opens his eyes and stares directly at him. Hob gasps. Maybe this would turn into another horror vision. His Stranger’s eyes were pitch black. Carved out...

No. No, not carved out like he’s seen before. Just... black. With two twin pinpricks of light, like stars far off in the night sky. It was beautiful. Christ, why did it have to be beautiful? Hob takes a breath. It's okay, everything is fine. Everything is fine.

“Do you still wish to live?”

The question takes him off-guard. In all the years he’s had, every vision of his Stranger, not once has he ever asked this question. No, the only times Hob’s ever heard those words uttered from his lips have been at their usual meetings. Hob frowns. Doubt creeps into his mind as he stares at the pleading image of his Stranger. His eyes dart over him, looking for signs, for anything. He knows that no one had paid his Stranger mind the entire time he’d sat here, but… but.

“Are… is this…” The words feel silly in his mouth, but there’s a nagging feeling in his gut that he should ask. Usually, in the past, the few times he’s asked if a hallucination was real, he was met with either the vision ending (the good ones, typically) or becoming even more monstrous at having been called out. “Is this real?” His voice but a whisper, even to his own ears.

His Stranger blinks. The tear running down his cheek almost seems to freeze in place, just as his Stranger seems to do. Then he blinks again and the pained look that graced his face just moments prior shifts to confusion. Hob can practically see his Stranger’s brain working.

He opens his mouth, then closes it. He pauses for a moment and tries again, only to close his mouth once more in a frown. His Stranger’s brows are pulled together and his starry eyes bore into him. “Yes,” the deep voice of his Stranger finally says. “This. Yes, Hob Gadling. This is real.”

Shit.

“Wait, like, genuinely? I’m not… This. This isn’t a hallucination?” Hob’s heart is hammering in his chest as the possibility that this is truly happening, that this isn’t just in his mind. His mind is racing as it goes back over every statement Dream’s made with a fine-tooth comb under this new light. He’s elated, he’s angry, he feels sick. Hob feels… a lot of things, but most of all, he feels hopeful. Perhaps more than he should in case this ends with his Stranger turning into some foul beast or the like.

Hob sits up straight as his Stranger approaches. He reaches out a pale hand, a single finger, soft and warm, grazes his temple. He’s closer than he’s ever been. His Stranger’s touch is nothing like he’s experienced in his visions, either. It feels more solid, more real. Christ, this is actually happening, isn’t it?

The eyes of his Stranger flash pitch black before fading into the normal icy blue that Hob’s grown accustom to. His face tilts down and looks at Hob with such tenderness in his eyes that it nearly brings Hob to tears. “Hob Gadling. I owe you another apology on behalf of my creations. They have… intruded upon your life where they should not have and left you with Waking Dreams and Nightmares.” He closes his eyes. “Many of which feature myself, it seems.”

Hob pulls himself together long enough to stop focusing on the slow warmth that was emanating from his Stranger’s touch and to focus on his words, instead. “Your… creations?”

His Stranger sighs and lets his hand drop to his side. Hob’s immediate thought is to reach out and take it and hold it, so he knew that his Stranger was still here. He doesn’t. Instead, he watches his Stranger take his seat at the table once more and rests his head in his hands. He looks even more worn out now than he had before. And that’s saying something.

“I have told you very little of myself. Even now, I find myself... hesitating to tell you more.” His Stranger peers up at his through his lashes. In the dim lighting, even though he wears the normal blue eyes, there is a light behind them. The stars, Hob assumes, are not gone, just hidden. It takes his breath away.

“Knowledge is power,” his Stranger continues. “And to know more of me would be to put you in harms way. Though, incidentally, the lack of knowing has caused you enough harm as it is.” He sighs. “I will let you choose, then. I will tell you what I am and what has happened, if you wish. But know that with this knowledge, you may find yourself in more harm than before.”

“Tell me.” It was the easiest question he’s ever been asked. Maybe even easier than if he still wished to live. His Stranger blinks, clearly not expecting such a quick answer, but he smirks. Hob’s heart soars. After the evening spent hearing his Stranger plead and speak of such heartbreaking tales, he is glad for the sight of the smile.

Christ. A lance spears itself in Hob’s heart as he remembers just where his Stranger has apparently been for the past century. Century! Hob sniffs, blinking away tears as he tries to steer his focus back on his Stranger. He can cry and break down later and swear to murder every sorry bastard that hurt his Friend after he finds out what, exactly, his Friend is.

“My name is Dream. It is both who and what I am. My form and function. I am all dreams and nightmares and they are me. When you sleep, your mind finds it’s way into my realm: the Dreaming. It is there that you find solace after the Waking World has left you weary or wanting. It is there that you face your fears in the forms of nightmares. And, it seems, that my claim upon you has brought forth unwanted attention to you in my absence.”

It is. Well, it’s a lot to process in one go. But Hob smiles as his Friend, as Dream (what a fitting name that is) talks. He has many questions, more than there is probably time for, given the hour, but he waits patiently for his Friend to finish his tale.

“I cannot say why, but some of my Dreams and Nightmares have clung to you and affected your Waking mind. They have shown you visions, for what purpose, I do not know. But know that these visions you have seen are not hallucinations, but rather Waking Dreams, daydreams, or daymares in some cases, made stronger. I… I understand why you questioned by existence.

“They should never have done such to a Dreamer, even in my absence. I will ensure they are punished accordingly for causing such disturbance in your Waking life. It is the least I owe you. And…” Dream pauses, a flash of pink tongue darts from his lips briefly. Hob’s eyes follow it instantly. “And I would offer you a boon. As repayment for the transgressions upon you from those in my care.”

Hob’s eyes lift to Dream’s. “It’s not your fault. You don’t need to give me anything.” Hob laughs as he leans back into his chair, his shoulders finally relaxing for the first time since Dream showed up. “If anything, it’s me that owes you for today. For ignoring you. For not… not saying anything or doing anything. Christ, you know, I’ve been thinking about the time I’d finally see you again and I had the whole thing planned out.

“I’d smile, get you a drink, food if you wanted it. I’d tell you all about this place, all the little details I thought you’d like or find interesting. Tell you the story of me sneaking in tables and chairs from the White Horse in the middle of the night and nearly scaring the shite out of the neighbors. I’d probably tease you a bit, friendly jest, of course, about you getting lost on whatever supernatural highway you were on cause of course that’s the real reason you’re late, no other reason.”

Hob looks down and fiddles with the edge of the table, scratching at the wood with his nail. “Then I’d probably ask if you wanted to come upstairs, have a drink away from the noise of the Inn. Figured if you said yes, that meant we were truly friends. Might even work the courage up to ask if you wanted to meet more often than every hundred years, like us humans tend to do.”

“You wish to meet more often?”

He looks up at Dream with a smile. “Course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

Dream’s hands have folded over one another at some point, leaving his face free. His head is tilted to the side, looking at Hob with such wonder in his eyes. “I am not known to be the best company. I did not think…” He sighs gently, his gaze falling down to the table.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I’ve always enjoyed your company. Seeing you was always the highlight of the century. It’s… hard, being immortal. No one truly knows you for you. I can’t talk about my past without playing mental gymnastics to make sure that it fits in whatever version of my life I’m living. No one knows I used to be married, that I had a son. No one knows I’ve been starved and drowned before and that’s why I refuse to join in at pool parties, not because I can’t swim but because I still panic whenever the water goes over my head. You can connect with people still, sure, but it’s not the same.

“But you know me. You know the lot of me. You’ve seen me at my best and my worst and you still sit here and listen to me drone on about whatever my life’s been like for the past hundred years.” Hob laughs. “So why wouldn’t I want to spend more time with the person who knows me better than anyone else? Why wouldn’t I want to spend time with my best friend?”

Dream sits, his eyes drifting close as a small smile forms on his face. He nods, slowly. “I would like that. To meet more often. If the offer is still available.”

“Always, my friend.” Their eyes meet and for the first time in a long time, Hob feels almost settled. Like the wrongs in the world have faded and life has been turned right-side up again.

“So,” Hob says, resting his own arms on the table in front of him, mirroring Dream’s own position. “All that aside, you don’t owe me anything. I’m just glad you’re here. And that I didn’t royally cock it all up before you left, either. Don’t even know how I’d have found you if you’d left.”

Dream huffs. “I suppose I should have given you my name earlier, then. In case I had left.”

“Yeah, you should have!” Hob says with a grin. He watches the gentle roll of his friend’s eyes before he lets his own smile fade into a more serious expression. “You alright, though? I… Christ, I’ve been trying not to think too hard about what you said earlier. Think I might actually lose it if I did. I would have… I would have come, you know. Would have tried to find you if I knew you were gone. Please know that.”

Dream’s gaze goes soft at his words, but nods. “I... My realm is healing, though the process is slow. My tools have been regained once more. And those responsible have received their punishment.”

Hob takes a steadying breath. “Good. Good, that’s… that’s good.” He clears his throat before speaking again. “Do… do you want to come up? I can make us a cuppa, if you’d like. I should probably lock this place up soon, anyways.”

He watches his friend, noting the softening of his shoulders, the smoothing of the tense and tight lines of his body. “I would like that.”

“Perfect. Let me just finish closing up then, yeah?” Dream nods. Hob gives him one last smile before he stands. For the first time this entire night, his friend finally looks at ease here, in the Inn that Hob rebuilt for the pair of them. There’s still a lot to talk about, a lot to unpack with everything that’s been said, but for now, Hob’s just glad the night isn’t over and that Dream (he’s got a name now, too!) is finally smiling again.

As they make their way up the stairs to Hob’s flat, he thanks whatever gods exist that he didn’t let Dream leave this night. He’s not sure what he would have done if he found out Dream was actually Dream later on. Good thing he’ll never know.

#dreamling #hob gadling #dream of the endless #the sandman #ky writes #A Waking Nightmare AU #Kydrogen's Birthday Prompts

[alien-ally]

I heard about the eighth sense from tumblr literally 2 days after the first 2 eps were out and my vacations had just begun so i was totally ready to indulge myself in something, even if it wasn't going to be very memorable just cause i had all the time and dint have to double check a thousand times if it is indeed emulating vibes that I'm into/would be worth my time. So i just went for it and woah i am obsessed now. I went into it absolutely ready to make it my new hyper fixation as I'm going to be absolutely free for more or less a month and a half and was in the position to entertain it eating up like a half of my brain space but i dint think I'd like it this much?? Not only cause i have the time but also cause it has thoroughly dragged me in. I search up the tag like multiple times a day. Even on twitter! Which is huge cause legit any other social media except tumblr stresses me out too much for me to even open it. Plus I'm usually not that invested in things either. Turns out wetter's music is absolutely rad and I've got 4 of their songs on my playlist. The vibes those songs set is just immaculate. The duration? Please, enough with slow burn in 8 episodes of literal 20-25 mins. What i absolutely adore about t8s is that it takes it's time. They show us the absolute mundane, them eating ramen, walking in the train station, walking to the dorms, just walking together in general, which i just- very beautiful, i love those. Because aren't those the actual little day to day things that bring you closer to people? That draw you in, that solidifies the allure towards people? What is slow burn without those? (Though this is not particularly of the slow burn genre, what i mean is development b/w two people that've newly met each other). And i got to say, the role tumblr has hooking me on to this is not trivial. The analyses, color theory discussions, details i never pay attention to, microexpressions, side eyes, body language, lighting, cinematography, background to the clother they wear!!! Aah experience enhanced by 1777777+ I am beyond elated to have found the eighth sense and highly impressed at the fact that eps 3 & 4 dint put me off but instead have only increased my intrigue. The subtle resignation that lies behind seo jaewon's every interaction with everyone except for jihyun (the way they portray the budding hope element is just splendid), the therapy sessions, the fledging of jihyun's character as an introvert that's not sad or lonely to have less people in their life but rather prefers it that way and is actively choosing it over it's alternative rather than just succumbing to it due to poor social skills, surfing, walking side by side to touching fingers to finally holding hands firm; letting oneself hope and be happy, letting go. The inherent queer ache of it all.

I'm looking forward eagerly <2

#the eighth sense #lim jisub #oh juntaek #seo jaewon #kim jihyun #jaewon x jihyun #not aspec #aa mine #thingamabob

[jooheonspinky]

From the Ashes

Characters: Jungkook x Female reader

Genre: Fantasy!au, angst

Synopsis: I am ready to confess my feelings to Jungkook, but his older brother, a wizard, has other plans. Plans with devastating consequences that I could never have prepared for.

Warnings: major character death, various mentions of fire, mentions of panic attack

A/N: This story came about from a dream I had. Actually, two dreams I had last month. You can read them before the story if you'd like. I did have to change a lot in order for it to make a little more sense.

Dream Log 56

Dream Log 57

•• ━━━━━ ••🔥•• ━━━━━ ••

Part 1 

Word Count: 3.2K

“Are you sure?” My cousin stares at me with a mixture of disbelief and elation. “Once the words are out of your mouth, that’s it. There’s no taking them back.”

I giggle, my cheeks flushing with warmth from the terror and excitement coursing through me.

“I know, Merrick,” I say breathily. “But we only live once, right? If I never tell him, how will I know how he feels? I just don’t want to have any regrets later on.” Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly to calm my rapidly beating heart, I ask, “Do I look okay?”

She side-eyes me as I run my hands over the smooth material of my cap-sleeved attire, trying to ensure everything is in place. The empire-waist dress hugs my breasts tightly, giving them a little lift. A butterfly embroidered sheer pink tulle overlay hangs beautifully atop the mint green satin length of the dress’s skirt that cascades down to the tops of my slippered feet. My hair is half-up, half-down, and a large mint green bow pinned to the back of my head completes the outfit I have chosen for the university’s Halloween festivities.

“I can’t believe you just asked me that.” She stares at me with feigned anger. “Didn’t you check yourself out in the mirror? You look absolutely gorgeous in that.”

The warmth in my cheeks intensifies, and I glance away momentarily.

Exhaling, I whisper, “I just want to make sure everything goes goo- no, great.”

She hugs me tightly, and I welcome not only the warmth the gesture provides but also the encouragement and love she is wrapping me in. My soul soaks it all up, steadying my heart. Though I am not a witch like her, we are extremely close and often find ourselves inadvertently sharing what the other is feeling. Merrick still believes I, too, am a witch, but at this age, nothing has manifested yet, and I don’t expect it to either.

And I am ok with that. 

Stepping out of her arms, I tug open the matching reticule that hangs from my wrist and pull out my phone. A quick message asking my crush to meet me at the top of the library tower, where we both love to spend time as we study, read books, or listen to music is sent off. It should be empty now as everyone prepares to go to the auditorium for the costume ball. No one should be there to interrupt. No one there to witness the rejection if things don’t go how I would like them to. As of yet, he has not given the impression that he thinks of me as anything other than a good friend.

I shake my head, pushing away the negative thoughts before they can convince me to keep my confession to myself.

“Go,” she urges me. “You shouldn’t leave Jungkook waiting.”

“Ok, ok,” I laugh as I turn to push the door open and step outside.

The air is brisk as it hits my flushed skin. I can feel Merrick’s eyes on me as she watches me speedily walk across the courtyard. Scattered mounds of melted snow collected on the sides of the square I walk across are evidence of the remnants of a mid-autumn snowfall that had surprised us earlier in the week. I am a bit too exposed to the elements with my wispy dress and primarily bare arms, but I don’t seem to feel the cold. I’m too nervous and excited about what I’m getting ready to do. 

Up ahead, I catch sight of Jungkook stepping into the archway that leads to the library tower. Though his face is not visible, his way of walking is unmistakable and gives him away. From this distance, I can make out that he’s wearing what appears to be black leather pants with a billowy white shirt that is only tucked into the front. A pair of black boots adorn his feet, and I wonder if he is dressed as a pirate or maybe a vampire just as he disappears deeper into the tunnel.

I speed up, soft, giddy giggles escaping my lips as I reach the archway. I pause to straighten my dress and take a few deep breaths as my slippered feet carry me forward. Footsteps echo across the cement walls, and the hair on the back of my neck instantly stands on end. I swirl around to find the silhouette of a slightly hunched figure clad in black floor-length robes. There is a hint of deep purple satin that lines the inside of the cloak, visible only when he steps closer.

I instantly recognize the pallid face that smiles at me. A chill shivers down my spine, and I have only a moment to wonder why it is that Jungkook’s older brother always gives me the heebie-jeebies whenever he is around despite his friendly demeanor. He’s never done anything to make me question his genuineness, yet I can sense something just behind those eyes that doesn’t quite fit the expression that sits on his face.

His hand darts forward to grab my wrist, pulling me from my inner thoughts. Though I gasp, nothing else comes out as I attempt to follow it with a scream. Utter fear and confusion locks me in place. It’s like his grip has control over my body’s functions, and nothing I do can override it.

“I knew it,” he hisses, his face contorting into disgust. His dark eyes hold my gaze as he tugs me into him. “You will not get the chance to tell him a thing, do you hear me?!”

My eyes widen. How does he know…

“Please,” I manage to croak out. “Let me go.”

“Oh, I’ll let you go, alright,” he sneers.

His fingers tighten, digging into my skin, as he begins to murmur unintelligibly. I don’t need to hear what he’s saying to know precisely what he’s doing. He is a wizard, after all, and wizards, just like witches, have magic powers. The possibilities are endless as to what they can do with that power, power he’s not supposed to use while on school grounds unless authorized by a professor or the Dean.

But here, in the middle of the tunnel, where anyone can see or hear if they pass by, he is chanting a spell without a care, and there is nothing I can do. A sensation similar to vertigo washes over me, and I fight the feeling of nausea as my body begins to transform. It only takes a few seconds before I am no longer human. Whatever words he has recited has converted me into a bird. He laughs as he gazes down at me, pleased at his work.

“It’s nothing personal, little raven,” he confides. “I’m just tired, ya know? Tired of him getting everything he wants. Tired of everyone saying he’s better at everything. The ‘golden boy’,” he mocks. “He’s just a measly human. He has no powers. Can’t cast spells or make charms. I can, though. I can, and no one cares. It’s always about Jungkook. I won’t let you make your confession to him and give him yet another thing he wants.”

My beady eyes can only stare up at him, absolutely dumbfounded at what is occurring. I let out a caw, and he chuckles.

“I’ve given him a little snack to munch on while he waits for you to meet up with him. We both know the kid can eat.” He grins at me as if he’s just chatting with a friend. “But little does he know I’ve added something extra to it. He’ll be dead before you can even reach him.”

He exits the archway with another laugh, leaving me in absolute shock. I flap my wings frantically, unsure of what to do. 

“Y/N!” My cousin’s voice has me frantically skittering towards her. “Ohmygosh! What the hell happened to you? Did he do this? I saw him come in here after you, and I just got this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach…”

Merrick doesn’t wait for an answer. She squats down and sets her hand gently on my head. Closing her eyes, I let the images and the conversation run through my mind like a piece of CCTV footage and focus on pushing them toward her. 

“Oh, shit!” she shoots up. “I gotta go get the Dean. You go and stop Jungkook!” 

Scooping me up, she rushes out of the small arched tunnel and straight to the library doors. With fear guiding me, Merrick opens her hands, and I find I can instantly fly. I hear the door close behind me as she rushes across campus toward the Dean’s office, cell phone pressed to her ear. 

I fly up the spiral staircase, my voice calling to Jungkook, screaming and begging him not to eat anything as I try to reach him as fast as I can. No words come out, only cawing sounds that reverberate against the walls as I circle my way up. Though new to flying, I make it to the top in record time, as if I have flown all my life. 

It’s not fast enough, though.

As I reach the landing, my eyes catch sight of a bright pink and red box of Kancho (칸쵸) choco biscuits lying on the floor. My gaze shifts from the box to Jungkook’s form. A newspaper he must have been reading while he snacked was under his feet, the crinkling of the crisp paper sounding amplified in the ordinarily quiet space. His hands are clutching his throat, his eyes wide in desperate panic. From inside my head, I can hear his brother laughing maniacally. 

The spell must allow him to see what I see, and I hate that I’m giving him a front-row seat to Jungkook’s dire predicament. 

I need to figure out how to help Jungkook. My mind races as I try to lock in on what I can do. Jungkook falls to his knees, and I swoop toward him. Maybe I can pluck the food from his mouth and stop any further reaction the morsel is causing. I bump my beak under his chin, trying to tilt his head up, but there is a slight pfft sound as soon as I make contact with his skin. I stare on in disbelief as Jungkook disappears, and a pile of ashes materializes on top of the newspaper where he had just been, a thin tendril of smoke undulating up in front of me.

Footsteps pound up the stairs, and Merrick falls to her knees next to my now human form, her chest heaving. The thought that perhaps Jungkook turning to ash broke my spell sits at the back of my mind as my eyes continue to stare at the remains in front of me in sheer disbelief. I can feel hysteria trying to claim me, my cousin’s voice sounding miles away as she attempts to bring my attention to her. The elevator dings behind us, and in comes the Dean with several guards, their presence making the space feel cramped. Voices resonate up the stairs, the commotion sounding as if it were in the same room. 

“Y/N was practicing magic,” Jungkook’s brother is saying. “I heard her say she was going to kill Jungkook, and then she changed into a bird. I was just on my way to find the Dean, actually.”

 Tears burn down my cheeks at the betrayal. How can a brother commit such a heinous act against his own flesh and blood? How does he have the ability to push that familial bond aside and go through with extinguishing the life of his younger brother? It just doesn’t seem fathomable to me.

It’s not long before the world comes flooding in, and I begin sobbing hysterically, folding the paper gently to contain his ashes, even as my body shakes violently. It’s too much: too much feeling, too much pain, too much anguish. It’s all just too much. So I hug him to me, feeling like I’m suffocating. I am overwhelmed with so much grief I can’t even speak. 

“Miss Y/N,” the Dean’s stern voice cuts through the cacophony in my head. His tone is not unkind and softens when he continues.  “I’m afraid that is evidence, and I must confiscate it.”

I look down at the newspaper clutched between my trembling hands, my grip tightening.

“Sir,” Merrick steps in. “If I may?”

She raises her hand, reaching out towards the Dean.

“Go ahead,” he nods.

Her fingers touch his temple lightly, and they both close their eyes as I can only assume she is sending him the information and images I had given her earlier. His eyebrows pinch together, and his lips tighten into a thin line as he receives the information. 

Merrick lowers her hand, solemnly replying, “That’s what happened.”

“I’m at a loss,” he shakes his head. Pulling out his walkie-talkie, he radios to the guards downstairs. “Arrest him. Use the magic suppressing cuffs.” To us, he admits, “His own brother. I would never have expected such condemnable actions from him.” The Dean sighs heavily, and it's full of disbelief. “Such an exemplary student. One of my best.”

“I never would have expected that from him myself,” Merrick agrees.

I would have. I think to myself. I felt something was off about him but had no proof of what. And now here we are. If only I had said something anyway.

“I will be contacting the family,” he tells us as we enter the elevator, my legs too shaky to take the stairs. Merrick holds me up as we descend. “I know I can trust you with his remains,” the Dean says gently. “You can hold on to them for us until they are able to come and retrieve them.”

I can only nod, the events draining me of energy. The elevator ride is quiet except for my sniffles and ragged breaths that sound extremely loud to my ears. This couldn’t be happening. There just could be no way Jungkook was dead. His brother. His freaking brother just-

The doors slide open, and I have a clear view of the offending man being escorted away, his hands cuffed at his back. Two guards hold him by the elbows on either side. My heart lodges in my throat when he looks over his shoulder, a small smirk adorning his lips as his eyes lock in on mine.

My knees buckle as rage and agony tighten my heart to the point it feels as if I’m about to have a heart attack. I crumble to the floor, and air refuses to enter my lungs. Black dots begin to dance before my eyes, but I don’t let go of the newspaper… of Jungkook.

“Dammit!” the Dean curses, and I can sense Merrick’s shock at his outburst. “Get her to her room before she keels over.”

My cousin nods, her arms hooking under my armpits to lift me.

“Come on, Y/N,” she coos. “You’re going to be ok. Just breathe and you’ll be okay.”

The Dean takes long, swift strides to the door and opens it quickly.

“Get him out of here, ASAP!” he roars before the door closes.

My focus turns to my cousin, who is begging me to breathe with her. I follow her guidance, and soon, the panic attack subsides, the darkness at the edge of my eyes slowly pulling away until I’m able to breathe and walk on my own.

“It hurts too much,” I whimper.

“I know,” she swallows thickly. “Believe me, I know.”

I have no doubt she does. Our connection so strong that I know she can feel just how grief-stricken I am, and it makes me feel guilty, selfish even as I allow her to guide me to my room. 

The adrenaline must be wearing off because I begin to shake as soon as we enter my studio. The rugged stone walls are still holding onto the chill from outside. As I step further into the room, Merrick immediately gets a fire going in the fireplace. A warm, soft orange glow fills the center of the room.

“Let's get you outta this dress and into your jamas.”

I nod, too lost in the horrors I had experienced to do anything other than shiver and allow her to take over. After rummaging through my drawers, she returns with one of my ankle-length long-sleeved nightgowns and a shoe box I had been meaning to discard for some time.

Unzipping the back of my dress, she turns me to face her. “You’re going to have to put this down in order for me to take this off.” 

I shake my head and whisper a desperate, “No.”

Merrick strokes my head as if I were a child. “I know this is difficult, but he wouldn't want you to be like this.”

I lift my eyes to hers, the tears distorting her face. “I can't,” I plead.

“Y/N.” She exhales before continuing. “Listen to me. You are in shock. You need to warm up, and in order to do that, you need to put this down so I can get you dressed properly and get you in bed.

I know you’re hurting, but standing here like this is not going to help anyone. You need to be strong for when his parents arrive. You understand?”

Oh, his parents! They are going to be so devastated. My heart breaks even more, but she's right. I have to get my shit together so I can be there for his family. They have two terrible pieces of news to deal with: the death of their youngest son and the fact that their eldest child committed the act.

“Ok,” I murmur.

“Ok,” she smiles at me. “Here’s a box you can keep him safely in.”

She holds it out, and I gently place the folded newspaper with Jungkook’s ashes inside the box. Just as carefully, she sets the box on my rounded table that sits across the fireplace, the two chairs neatly tucked in. Now that my hands are free, she is able to remove the dress and replace it with the nightgown. She walks me to my bed before disappearing into the bathroom.

I take that moment to remove my shoes and sit on my full-size bed. The frame is made of wood, with bulky square-shaped short posts. It has a rustic look, as I loved nature and enjoyed having pieces of it in my living space. The bed fits along the shortest wall of my rectangular-shaped room. 

Merrick returns with makeup remover wipes and a wet face towel. I allow her to gingerly swipe the makeup from my face and eyes before she wipes off any remaining residue with the cloth. Pulling back the navy and cerulean blue comforter, Merrick helps me slide in and lie down.

“I can stay,” she insists, pointing her thumb over her shoulder towards the wall beside the door. “I don't mind sleeping on your futon.”

“No,” I shake my head, my eyelids heavy as the exhaustion from the evening's events starts claiming me. “I just need to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Are you sure?” she asks, hesitant to leave. I nod my head, already between the waking world and sleep. “Alright then.”

She strokes my hair a few times, the gesture lulling me further into dreamland. I barely catch the click of the door when she leaves.

•• ━━━━━ ••🔥•• ━━━━━ ••

I hope you enjoyed Part 1. Happy Friday the 13th! Please look forward to Part 2. Coming soon.

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3

•• ━━━━━ ••🔥•• ━━━━━ ••

Moodboard by me

Image credits

Smoke

Fire

Jungkook 1 and 2

Flame in hand

Fire and Sparks

#BTS #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook fantasy #Jungkook Phoenix #Jung Kook #Jungkookie #fantasy au #jungkook phoenix #phoenix au #angst #bts major character death #tw major character death #tw fire #magic #spells #BTS ARMY #ARMY

[ihatebnha]

I hope you’ve been able to rest up caitie as I’ve seen that life has been a little loser towards you :( I read that you almost decided to leave and I got sad for a second but then saw that you’re going to stay. But I think either way, whether or not you moved I would’ve respected that decision of yours, but I’m also elated that you’ve decided to stay <3 making bakugo give you a forehead kiss rn and hopefully after the kittens go to their new homes you get to rest and take a break from your relatives

Also it doesn’t really matter to me if you went back to the way you were during the pandemic, you’re still caitie to me, but that’s just me talking, love you lots <3

AAAA THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO SEND TO YOU IM SORRY

- omen

Ahh omen!!! Thank for this lovely message, though when are your messages not lovely?

Unfortunately I actually still am considering moving blogs, though (I hope) you’ll be happy to know that if/when I do, i wont be leaving the community entirely, it will just be a new space where I will hopefully continue writing/posting and/or answering any asks that I’m lucky enough to get!!!

I know you say you don’t mind that things aren’t the same, it’s just… I do, in the sense that I’ve always held myself to an extremely high standard here that I’m tired of striving for… so to maintain the integrity of this space that I’ve pushed myself so hard to create, I think it would just feel better to rebrand in a place that is entirely separate. Idk.

But! As I mentioned, I cried thinking about posting my goodbye note, so… I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet, even tho I have set up the would-be blog. I’ve actually been considering dropping the name just because I’ve been using it as my own personal Twitter lately… but again, I’m not sure how many people would care (which is fine btw. If I were u I wouldn’t LOL).

Anyway… that’s all to say… please don’t be sad for me! I love you and tumblr and probably won’t be going anywhere you won’t be able to find. I do appreciate the respect a TONNNNN though the elation and your explanation makes me feel even happier (no matter what ends up happening). Sometimes I just feel so disconnected from the way people think/feel about me (much less blogs in general), so it’s hard to tell what will really happen when trying to make decisions.

Blah blah blah, otherwise though… kittens are officially off to be adopted, family will be gone after this weekend… and today (now yesterday), I spent the whole day on the couch… so I’m definitely getting okay-er and there’s no need to waste anymore hope on me!!!

I’m obviously hoping you’re well also, tho!!! I really appreciate the opportunity you’ve given me to talk all this out, whether you read it all or not… so please give yourself a big ol’ hug and from me for it.

Don’t forget I love u lots and LOTS, and now that I’ve had my bakugo kiss, I’m sending him right back so u get one too. Thank u for everything, as always!!!🖤🖤🖤

#I wrote this half asleep sorry if it makes no sense #I don’t have much else to add so tags short #sorry omen love u tho #I’m such a whiner #thanks for dealing with t #goodnight #ask #anon #caitie chats #omen

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Victor Valentine Card story ‘‘First Experience’’ (full)

Translation of Victor Valentine’s #Photooftheday card story from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’.

Includes all three parts in one post.

Part 1

Victor: My apologies, Dino. I ended up summoning you for such a thing again.

Dino: Nah, feel free to pet my tail all you like if it helps

Nova: How nice, Vic. You’ll get outta that slump before you know it with this~♪

Dino: Huh, a slump? Are you in a pickle?

Victor: I feel that I’ve come at a bit of a standstill with this research, but I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s severe-

Nova: It’s gonna be fine! By petting Dino’s tail, you’ll totally go brrrr ding! like that one time and inspiration will strike you once more

Victor: You’re overexaggerating too much, Nova. And I fail to believe it’ll go that smoothly…

Nova: If you never try you’ll never know, is what they say. It was the same before, riiight~?

Victor: …..

Dino: Victor-san, wouldn’t you like to at least give it a shot?

Victor: I’d prefer to refrain from wasting my time on such illogical actions.

Nova: It went great the first time, I’m sure trying it again will have some value to it!

Victor: …..

Nova: I’m ready whenever, so go ahead!

Nova: C’mon, Vic. Even Dino-kun’s supporting you~

Victor: ….Very well then.

Victor: Don’t mind if I do.

Dino: Waha… that tickles…!

Dino: H-how is it? Victor-san.

Victor: ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Victor: ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Nova: ….Did something come to mind?

Victor: No, not at all. No matter how much I caress, it’s not the same impression as that one time.

Nova: EEEH~~~!?

Dino: Sorry for not being of help…

Victor: There’s no need for you to apologize. It seems the effect from before was a mere coincidence after all. 

Nova: I see… What other tricks could we…

Victor: Please do not fret over it, Nova. It is my day off after all, if I refresh myself by going outside I’m certain I’ll come to a solution.

Nova: I see~ Yeah, that might work. Who knows, inspiration might randomly end up striking you~

Dino: That’s right! Victor-san, would you like to go eat some pizza together then?

Victor: Pizza, you say… I’m not quite in the mood for that.

Nova: Eeh~ You should go. Dino-kun, aren’t there any pizza places that serve some delicious coffee?

Dino: There is one! I went to this one with Brad before, he ordered an Italian coffee and said that the blend was out of this world.

Victor: Italian coffee…

Victor: Then I am interested. I’ll accompany you.

Nova: How nice~ I’d come too if I didn’t have a meeting

Dino: We’ll go with you next time. And invite Marion-kun and the others too♪

Nova: Yeah. I’ll be looking forward to that~

-

Dino: Nihi, it sure has been a while since you and I ate pizza together!

Victor: You do seem to be elated over it, Dino.

Dino: I mean, it’s not often we… Huh?

Jay: W-wait…! Calm down…!

Dino: Is that Jay? What is he doing?

Part 2

Puppy: Woof woof!

Jay: Please, go over there instead…!

Victor: He’s being cornered by a dog.

Dino: Heeey, Jay!

Jay: Gh, you two, came at just the right time…! Please do something about this little guy…!

Dino: Huh… Didn’t you say that you conquested the dogs when you performed at the circus?

Jay: W-well, in reality I’m still far off from--

Puppy: Woof woof!

Jay: Uwaaaaaaah!!!!!!

Victor: Please calm yourself, Jay. There’s nothing to fear about this small dog--

Puppy: *Whine*!

Dino: I-it ran away…

Victor: ………

Jay: …He bolted away in a blink…. Just what did you do? Victor.

Victor: I didn’t do anything in particular.

Jay: Still, that little guy had so much energy in him but ran away just from seeing you…

Victor: It’s no different than usual.

Jay: R-really…?

Victor: Meanwhile, dogs seem to quite adore you instead.

Jay: Uh, yeah, I’m not sure if they adore me but they’d often come and jump me as long as I remember.

Jay: Either way, I got saved thanks to you. ….And not often that I see you two together now that I think of it.

Dino: We’re on our way to eat some pizza at this place that also serves delicious coffee♪

Jay: Oh, mind if I join then? I’d like to thank you for saving me. The lunch is on me.

Dino: Waah, thanks Jay! ---Even though I didn’t do anything.

Victor: Isn’t that fine? I’ll gladly take the offer.

-

Dino: Now what pizza should I order today. Maybe Hungarian pizza… No no here you can get the true classic Margarita…

Dino: Aah but, I can’t just abandon Capricciosa either! Hmmm…

Jay: Haha, order whatever you’d like. Same for you, Victor.

Victor: I have no preference as long as I have my coffee, I’ll leave it in your hands.

Dino: Gotcha! And I’ll order a pizza so delicious it will get imprinted in Victor-san’s mind for the rest of his life

Dino: Excuse me~ I’d like to have a Margarita, Hawaiian and a Montanara Pizza, and some coffee too!

Waiter: Alright.

Dino: Nihi, there’s no way Victor-san won’t be satisfied with this kind of line-up…♪

Victor: I fail to imagine what the other pizzas are besides Margarita.

Dino: Yeah, I chose based on what’s classic, unique and unusual.

Victor: I see.

Jay: I have to say, a pizza parlor is not somewhere I’d expect you to be.

Victor: It’s not that big of a deal, but simply put…

-

Victor: ---And so I ended up depending on Dino’s aid.

Jay: Interesting, to think how Dino’s tail led to this…

Dino: But it was a bust this time around… Even though I’m properly taking care of it too--

Dino: Hold on! What if we follow Jay’s example and go pet some real dogs instead?

Victor: …Jay’s?

Dino: Animals run away from you which is why you chose to pet my tail instead, right?

Dino: By copying Jay, animals will like you, and then maybe you could try some real animal therapy…!

Victor: Hm… I understand the reasoning behind it. However, I believe that the reason why Jay is liked by animals lies with his natural disposition. Even if I were to imitate him, it wouldn’t result in success.

Dino: T-that’s true…

Jay: Then, how come you got a flash of inspiration the first time you touched Dino’s tail?

Victor: ……

Victor: Perhaps it might be attributed to the fact that it was my first experience with such a sensation when I caressed his tail. 

Victor: That touch of fluffiness, the sensation of it stirring within my hands….

Victor: I suppose the stimulus of having something unknown in my palms is what had given me inspiration. 

Dino: So by following that logic, things that you haven’t experienced up until now should inspire you to come up with ideas.

Dino: In that case, I’ll order the ultra spicy Habanero Pizza--

Victor: I already have experience with Nova’s made up, ultra spicy sauce that he created when we were children, regarding spicy cuisine.

Dino: Eeeh…!?

Victor: So far I still have not encountered something that surpasses it in terms of spiciness, extracting inspiration from that flavor would be a difficult endeavor. 

Dino: And here I was thinking that Nova-san had a sweet tooth…

Victor: Nova, by nature, has the spirit of a researcher. The type that chases after whatever interests him, even if it falls outside of what he likes himself.

Victor: Come to think of it, all these unusual sensations I’m familiar with could be due to the fact that Nova would drag me along to partake in it. Animal therapy was originally a suggestion on his part too.

Dino: H-huuh… I wonder what other stuff there is that you haven’t experienced yet, there has to be other stuff, no?

Victor: It’s as Nova said, inspiration could strike me at any moment. Let’s be patient for now.

Jay: ……..

Part 3

Victor: Mm, thank you for the meal. The pizza and coffee was delicious, Dino.

Dino: I’m happy to hear that

Jay: Victor, what are your plans after this?

Victor: Right, it doesn’t seem I’ll be able to gain anything from staying here. I’ll be returning to the lab and most likely rearrange my book collection.

Jay: If you don’t have anything to do, would you like to stick with me for a little longer?

Victor: ? Is there something you need from me?

Jay: Nope. The weather’s nice so I thought to play around for a little while.

Victor: …..Play?

Jay: It’s not typical for you to go outside and play, yeah? It might even help you with getting some inspiration.

Dino: Jay, what are you thinking about doing?

Jay: Something we often do. Since the time you were a rookie even, and always have

Dino: !! Don’t tell me…!

Victor: …..?

-

Jay: Play ball!

Dino: Here, Victor-san. Please use this glove.

Victor: ….A game of catch, hm.

Jay: Ever done it before?

Victor: Never have

Dino: Eeeh, not even once?

Victor: Not at all.

Dino: Then please go all out with enjoying this love and peace filled game of catch today☆

Victor: Are there any differences between love and peace filled catch and regular catch?

Jay: Don’t sweat the details. Just keep your eye on the ball and catch it.

Jay: Alright, go ahead and throw it, Dino

Dino: Okay! Here I go~

Dino: Hup!

Jay: Oof…

Jay: Nice ball. As always your sense of control is in top form.

Dino: I’m not good at chucking blazing fastballs like you are. Which is why I have to focus on elevating my control of power instead

Jay: Haha, your throws are fast enough though

Jay: Okay then, next up is Victor. You ready?

Victor: Go ahead.

Jay: Here it comes…!

Victor: ….!

Jay: Oh, nice catch! A great one for your first time

Victor: ……….

Jay: Well, it was expected from you

Victor: ……….

Jay: …Victor?

Victor: ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Dino: Could it be…!

Victor: You have my thanks, Jay, Dino. I would like to verify if there are any problems with this theory that just popped into my head, so I must return to the laboratory at once. Excuse me while I do.

Dino: And he’s off…

Jay: To think that it would work out this well.

Dino: As much as I wanted to play some more, I’m glad Victor-san was able to triumph his worries♪

Jay: Exactly. ….If this is the trick to it, then why don’t we invite him another time to come play?

Dino: Eh?

Jay: How does batting sound for next time?

Dino: Yeah! And then let’s also invite him to watch a baseball game after batting!

Jay: Taking him out for drinks would be fun too.

Dino: And I wanna play games together! Nihi, I’m looking forward to the next day of hanging out with Victor!

Notes:

Victor had attempted 'animal therapy' before and that was in his Animal 3* cardstory (translation by fleetingmelody).

#heliosR #helios rising heroes #victor valentine #jay kidman #dino albani

[simthorium]

Holding so many bottled up emotions inside was hard for Ruben. At one point, he felt like he couldn’t deal with it. Ruben had had thoughts of hurting himself as a teen, and while he felt those thoughts creep up again, he knew that he had more options now that he was an adult; he could runaway. 

He was already far, far away from his family. They hardly checked on him anyway. He could stash some money, small amounts here and there over the course of a few weeks. And then, he’d disappear, never to be seen again. It was possible, he knew it was. He just needed a plan.

Over the course of the semester, Ruben would walk to the quad to think through his plan. Being alone with his thoughts was empowering, and as the day he planned to leave got closer, he couldn’t help but be elated.

On his presumed last night in Strangetown, he decided to have some fun. He’d never been much of a pool player, but wanted to try it out before he left.

“Damn,” a voice from behind him said. “You kinda suck at this game.” Ruben tensed against the pool table, ready to take the cue and smack whoever said that right in the face. He turned around to see a girl dressed in all black smiling at him. “You mind if I join?” she asked. “Why, so you can kick my ass?” he muttered. “Yeah, kinda,” she said. 

“Whatever,” Ruben said, making his next play.  “Stop being so emo and reset the table,” she said. Ruben glared at her, hoping to spark a reaction. But, to his surprise, the girl held his gaze, not giving into his attitude. Ruben clenched his fists, but reset the table.

She wasn’t great at pool, but she wasn’t terrible either. Ruben was getting increasingly frustrated as the night went on; what a way to go out. “Your turn, hot head,” she said with a smile, causing Ruben to stifle a small tantrum. He leaned over the table, clearly missing the ball. The girl just smiled, then took her turn.

“If I make this,” she said, lining up her shot. “You promise me you won’t do anything stupid.” “What?” Ruben asked, caught off guard. “If I don’t, then I at least get to tackle you if I see you doing anything stupid,” she continued, smacking the ball. Before the cue ball hit the 8, Ruben snatched it up off the table. “Oh, come on!” she said. “I was totally gonna sink that!”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ruben asked. The girl shrugged. “I don’t want you to do something dumb,” she said. “You think I’m gonna off myself, huh?” he said. “How the hell am I supposed to know? You come here every fucking night, looking depressed as shit, sitting in the same seat with your coffee and notebook like a psychopath. So either you’re unaliving yourself or you’re a serial killer. And, no offense, I’m kinda hoping it’s the first one cus at least that means there’s hope.”

“What, are you stalking me?” he asked, crossing his arms. “No, dumbass, I work here,” she said, hands on her hips. “And you always look so goddamn sad, so I started getting worried about you.” “You don’t even know me,” said Ruben. “So what, I don’t get to be worried about you?” she asked. “You’re a person, so I’m worried. Is that so hard to believe?” Ruben wasn’t expecting that answer. He stood silent for a moment, then dropped his arms. “I’m running away,” he said finally. “Ok, less stupid, but still stupid,” she said. “What’s the plan, fake your death? Up and disappear into the night to scare your family or whatever? Sick plan.”

“I don’t owe you anything!” Ruben exclaimed. “No, you don’t,” she said. “Especially because you fucking cheated and I totally would’ve sunk that 8. But do yourself a favor, and stop thinking about how you can hurt other people. Try thinking about ways you can help yourself.” “That’s what I’m doing,” he said. “No you’re not. If you were, you would’ve said ‘I’m moving’ or ‘I’m taking a break’, or something that means you’re doing it for you. You’re doing it because you’re hurt and sad, and you want other people to be hurt and sad too. That’s kid shit, man. Be selfish, and do something for you instead.” Ruben opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t think of a response. This random girl hit the nail completely on the head. “Also, it’s passed midnight, so we’re closed,” she said. “Hope to see you here tomorrow. That is, unless you’re still planning on running away.”

#Zarro legacy #generation 7 #Ruben #Yara #ohohoho she's good

[captainstarsplitter]

Friends, moots, countrymen and -women (and what lieth betwixt);

I haven’t been on here in a hot minute. Or a decade, whichever. The reason for that is mainly … life. It’s been a hot minute of living, y’all. And I’m so, so, tired — physically and otherwise. My days begin at 4 in the morning and getting more than 6 hours of sleep is an impossibility. I then commence the early morning by having extensive discussions with a smaller version of myself (while either trying not to laugh or scream, or both) and then I mostly rush: To drop-off, to work, back to pickup, and then home. I used to cook. I used to run. I used to do … stuff. I don’t even know what I did.

I do love my job, but I’ve also had to learn that immediate management has no issues leveraging my personal situation against me. I’ll probably get written up again for missing work because my child is sick and there’s literally only me to take care of her (which management is aware of). It’s fucked up and skirts along the fine line of actual discrimination in the way it’s conducted, and after speaking to a few trusted coworkers the general advice is to document and call HR if shit gets worse.

My answer is to kill with kindness and be the best employee. My record is otherwise spotless. I have no patience for this kind of high school level pettiness, but my ongoing dissolution of marriage taught me to grey rock like a pro. I will be fine, like I always have been; but all I want is some peace and time to myself to digest what life has thrown at me in the last couple years.

I am burned tf out. I miss connecting to myself in ways that make me feel like a thinking, creative being, not an automaton.

I miss running and being alone with my thoughts in a way that doesn’t feel scary.

And then there have been some … interesting developments in other departments of my life. I’m no longer alone. I’m not really partnered yet either, but things might or might not be moving in that direction. Right now, things are looking promising.

It all started with a text to my friend in DC that I really, really wanted a dude — despite the fact that I have zero time for myself and my life feels like pure, unmitigated chaos. She suggested I give dating apps a shot. I told her I’d rather shoot myself in the foot, but went ahead anyways. What I encountered ranged from discouraging to plain fucking weird (seriously, why is every dude either holding a fish, or a puppy, or posing with other peoples’ kids???), and I only messaged a total of three people. The first one I immediately ghosted because something about him raised my hackles.

The second one was as nuts about Patton as I am, which I appreciate, but ultimately we didn’t jive. And then there was C.

Given the way my marriage went (and the brief rebound with what used to be a friend), it’s hard not to be guarded and standoffish.

But being with C. feels safe and familiar. Everything moves at a comfortable pace, and there’s no expectation or pressure of things developing in a certain direction before each of us is ready. He’s smart, kind and funny. He has a cute butt and respects my boundaries.

My anxiety is through the roof, but I’m patient with myself and learning that most of the shit I think is happening is mainly in my head. I’m learning to trust both him and myself. Best of all, I’m seeing actual proof of a beginning healthy relationship: Actions over words, truthfulness and clear communication. Respect. Safety. It feels strange that all of this is just there, like it’s no big deal. I don’t know if he understands yet what it means to me.

Life is a lot right now. We both have a lot on our plates, but I’m excited to see what might happen.

In two weeks my parents will be here for a few days. Yesterday marked seven years that I’ve lived in the US. Nothing is what I thought it would be, to be honest, but I’m scared and elated and curious to see where I’ll be in another seven years.

#time to get personal #personal shit #i am tired #so so so tired

[heyyyharry]

Drivers License

(inspired by drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.5k

And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about

This song is so sad and it made me cry so I had to write something about it 🤧

.

.

.

“I love the song.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N chewed on her bottom lip, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel. “But?” she asked her producer, who was on the phone. “You don’t sound like you love it.”

“Of course I love it, Y/N. It’s just–” Came a pause. “Do you really want this to be the next single?”

“What do you mean? You love it but it’s not good enough to be a single?”

“It’s too good, Y/N,” her producer said. “It’s very...personal.”

“That’s why I want to put it out, Gray. It means a lot to me.”

Gray was quiet for another moment. “The media and his fans are going to come for you.”

“I don’t care.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Alright. I’ll call you back.” Gray sounded defeated but she could still sense a smile as he told her, “Good job, kid,” before hanging up.

Y/N put her phone away, tossed her head back and heaved a sigh. She was well aware of the trouble she’d cause by releasing this song. It’d be like showing the whole world her diary. She’d written plenty of songs on her previous albums about her relationships, too. There had been witch hunts simply because the men she’d written songs about had fans who worshipped them and refused to see them as anything less than perfect. She wasn’t perfect, either. If she were perfect, she wouldn’t have written a song about an ‘almost’ relationship. She’d know her worth and not have chased someone who didn’t and would never want her. She knew that now. So this song would be the last thing she’d give this person. The last goodbye that she never got to say.

.

.

.

“What are you smiling at?”

“Nothing.”

“Let me see,” Y/N giggled and tried to grab his phone as he pretended to fight her off.

“Alright, alright.” He laughed, reached out to turn the music in his car down and handed her the phone. “It’s the memes your fans made about you not being able to drive,” he said, suppressing a grin.

Her jaw dropped. “I hate you!”

“I’m sorry. It slipped out,” he said, laughing again. She could listen to his laugh on replay. She loved his music, but his laugh had to be her most favourite melody. “To be fair, you talked a lot of shit about me in that interview, too.”

“Hey, hey, hey,” she scoffed at the smug look he was wearing. “At least I didn’t tell the whole world about your imaginary friend that you had until you were thirteen. You spilt my secret.”

“Not a secret anymore.”

She playfully smacked him on the arm. “My lawyer will hear about this.”

He pouted, pretending to be upset. “Guess we’ll never work together anymore.”

“Acting is not for me anyway.”

Y/N gave Harry back his phone. He took it but didn’t break eye contact as his brows knitted. “Stop saying that. You were great in the movie.”

She rolled her eyes sarcastically. “Oh please, have you been on the internet?”

“You mean my fans’ reactions, right? Just ignore them.” He breathed. “I mean, I love my fans, but they could be too much sometimes. Just look at all my previous relationships. I can’t even breathe around a female without them sending her death threats.”

“Yeah,” Y/N let out a nervous laugh, hands folded together resting on her knees. “Speaking of relationships,” she ventured, “are you talking to someone new?”

She wasn’t looking at him yet she could feel the heat from his gaze as he told her, “No. I already told you, Y/N. Right now there’s just you.”

Harry turned, putting both hands on his steering wheel. Was he nervous as well? Had she ruined the moment by bringing this up?

He took a deep breath, confirming her assumption. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m just not ready for a relationship.”

It was the same line he’d told her times and times again, and she wished she could just tell him how much she loathed it. And since she couldn’t say anything, she just nodded and focused on the rings on her fingers.

“I do care a lot about you, though,” he added, his voice heavy with emotions.

Her friends had told her that men would say things like this, and most of the time they barely meant half of it. However, she’d known Harry for years. Their relationship had only changed since they’d been cast for the same movie earlier this year. She was confident that she knew him better than her friends or anyone else. Surely, he’d meant all the things he’d said to her. The problem was, he just wasn’t ready for a relationship.

“And I don’t want to lose you, Y/N,” he said, now looking at her again.

She turned slowly and met his thoughtful green eyes. She offered a single smile as a way to tell him she wasn’t upset, even though she was, a little bit. “I don’t want to lose you, either,” she admitted.

His dimples reappeared. “I feel like it’s rare for people like us to find a connection like this, and I’ve never opened up to anyone the way I have to you. But I think now isn’t the time for us to take the risk of ruining this. Right now we’re still trying to figure out our own lives, you know?”

She nodded again, not knowing what to say.

They sat quietly for another moment, and it was he who broke the silence. “How come you never learn to drive?”

She could feel her cheeks glowing red. “I never had to drive myself.”

She’d been famous since she was fourteen, so she’d always had people driving her places. Whenever she told anyone that reason, they’d either call her spoiled to her face or give her a judgemental look that made her feel self-conscious. She didn’t have a dad or siblings, her mum didn’t know how to drive, either, and she was too afraid to ask anyone to teach her for she feared they’d judged her.

“I could teach you.”

Y/N whipped her head up and blinked blankly at him. “Really?”

“Of course,” he chuckled. “I have a cousin who didn’t learn to drive when he was young because of his anxiety and I taught him. I could teach you.”

Trying to hide her excitement, Y/N smiled. “Okay.”

“Yeah?” His grin widened even though he was the one doing her a favour. It was moments like this that reassured her that he wasn’t like the other guys who’d broken her heart. “When you got your driver license,” he said, “you can drive up to my house on your own.”

“We can even go on road trips,” she said happily, already imagining the many scenarios in her head.

He seemed equally elated, which made her heart swell. “Yeah! Wanna do it now or–”

“Let’s do it now.”

“Yeah, okay.” Quickly, he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. She climbed into the driver seat and watched him settle into the passenger side. That afternoon was the first time she’d learned how to drive. She would always remember that.

.

.

“Y/N, you’re up next,” said one member of the backstage staff who handed Y/N her mic and ran off to check on the backing vocalist.

Y/N felt her heart thumping in her chest as she clutched the microphone to her chest and sucked in a deep breath. She looked to her right, peering at her reflection in the full-length mirror. She looked beautiful. The makeup team and her stylist had spent three hours on this look and made sure that she was flawless.

Would he be watching the show tonight?

Had he even listened to the song?

It got to number one on the iTunes chart today. He must have listened to it. If not, he must have heard it on the radio or someone must have sent it to him. The whole world knew the song was for him, and everyone was talking about it. So even though he didn’t care anymore, even though he was happy with his new girlfriend, he must be wondering. Because when she’d heard that he’d written a song about her, she’d been so excited to listen to it. So could it be that he was wondering as well?

“This is Y/N performing her latest single DRIVERS LICENSE!”

Y/N took a deep breath as she got a nod from the stage director. She stepped out, soaked in the stage lights while the audience applauded and cheered for her. She stood at the centre of the stage as the band started playing and the noise in the audience died down. As a habit, she searched the front rows for his face despite knowing with every fibre in her body that this would be the last place he’d be tonight.

I got my driver's license last week

Just like we always talked about

'Cause you were so excited for me

To finally drive up to your house

But today I drove through the suburbs

Crying 'cause you weren't around

She could see it even now. Them driving through the quiet night. From her house to his and back. Just the two of them. The kisses they’d share at stoplights when there was no one else around. The way he’d place his hand on her thigh just because he wanted to. In retrospect, she should have realised that he wouldn’t ever do that to her in public. Their relationship, if she could call it that, had been almost nonexistent. Maybe that was why it’d been so easy for him to move on. You couldn’t feel remorse leaving behind something that didn’t exist. How unfortunate. It’d been real to her.

And you're probably with that blonde girl

Who always made me doubt

She's so much older than me

She's everything I'm insecure about

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

She’d thought to herself that if he could write a song about someone he’d never dated, it was worth staying with him despite not actually being with him. She could not expect that a few months after that song had come out, he would be seen driving around with another girl. The girl he’d told her was only a good friend. This girl was older and perfect in every way. Y/N wouldn’t choose herself either if the choices were between her and that girl. But she couldn’t bring herself to hate the girl. It wasn’t the girl’s fault that Harry had chosen her. And it wasn’t Harry’s fault that Y/N refused to see the red flags through her rose-coloured glasses.

And I know we weren't perfect

But I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine

How you could be so okay now that I'm gone?

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Y/N wrote this song a week after she’d got her drivers license. She’d blast sad music in her car and cried as she drove past his house, wondering if he was still up and thinking of her whenever he saw headlights passing his street. The heartbreak had been confusing to her as they weren’t even together. It was funny how the whole world had believed in them, except for him. He’d told her he loved her, so why weren’t they together now? He’d said he wasn’t ready, so why was he holding hands with someone else on the street? Was it because of her? Was it something that she’d done? Was there something wrong with her? Why couldn’t he choose her? Y/N had pondered over those questions for months until she came to accept that there didn’t have to be a reason for someone to leave you. They simply lost feelings or found someone else. No one owed you an explanation.

Red lights, stop signs

I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

Can't drive past the places we used to go to

'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe

For months, he'd been a ghost living rent-free in her head. She saw him in every face and every crowd, and she could even, in this moment, hear the sound of his laugh somewhere in the audience. She could hear him telling her he was proud of her, that everything would be okay. And the worst part was that, without her, he was still doing fine. He wouldn’t see her everywhere he went. He wouldn’t think about her when he was lying in bed and couldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t wonder if she missed him. Because he didn’t miss her. And he would be saying the same things he’d said to her to his new girl.

Sidewalks we crossed

I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

Over all the noise

God, I'm so blue, know we're through

But I still fuckin' love you, babe (Ooh, ooh)

There on the stage, she received sympathetic looks from the people in the front row as she cried her heart out to the lyrics. He might be at home this moment, watching the show with his new girlfriend, and seeing her cry on live television. Would they laugh at her together? Would he turn to his girlfriend and say he was sorry for how he’d treated Y/N and promised to never hurt his girlfriend the same way? The most heartbreaking thing, Y/N thought, wasn’t him leaving, but seeing him treat someone the way she’d wanted to be treated and realising that he’d been capable of doing it all this time, just not with her.

I know we weren't perfect

But I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine

How you could be so okay now that I'm gone?

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Putting all her feelings into this song had made everything seem so much simpler and clearer. And at the end of the day, Y/N believed that the whole purpose of songwriting was to get closure. Perhaps, one day, when she listened to this song again, she wouldn’t be sad anymore.

Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

.

.

.

“Good job, Y/N.”

“Thank you.”

“Love the song! You’re amazing.”

“Thank you.”

Y/N faked a few more smiles then shut the door of her dressing room and slumped into her chair in front of the vanity.

All alone, she looked right at her reflection and took a deep breath.

Her phone buzzed and lit up with a new text message.

Harry: Congratulations on your no 1 :) xx

She pondered over the words, picked up her phone, and deleted his contact.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles one shots #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #drivers license

[samwilsonsbabymama]

Late Nights

Pairing: Gray!Sam Wilson x Black Reader x Gray!Bucky Barnes (18+)

Summary: You meet Sam and Bucky on different days, but it seems as though they already know you.

Warnings: dub-con, maybe non-con, stalking, fingering,

Word Count: > 3,000

A/N: didn't I say I was done with gray!fics??? lol I wrote this one based off of @mariahthelioness29 's prompt (I can't find it lol). I hope yall like it. Big thanks to @megapeacelovemusic-blog for beta-ing this for me! I really appreciate it!!!

💖 Please let me know what you think by leaving feedback 💖

You walked up and down the aisles of the nearly empty store without a care in the world, as you checked off items on your list. Late-night grocery shopping was one of your favorite pastimes, especially when you couldn’t sleep.

You reached for the last item on your list, but just as your fingers brushed it, it was ripped from the shelf. You hadn’t noticed anyone else in the aisle you were in, so to say you were surprised was an understatement.

“I’m sorry,” the stranger said. “I didn’t see you there.”

You looked up at the stranger and froze; you had never seen a more handsome man before. He wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a sandy brown button-up over a fitted, reddish-brown shirt. Your eyes continued to slowly drag over his form, taking in his dark brown skin and plump lips. Your gaze lingered on the scar under his left eye for a second too long before you finally reached his twinkling brown eyes.

He cleared his throat, clearly amused that you had been checking him out.

“Hmm?” you asked, as you shook yourself from your ogling.

“I said,” he began, “‘I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.’”

“No,” you chuckled. “I should have been paying more attention.”

He smiled, and you could have sworn you felt the earth shift. The way his face lit up when he smiled at you made your heart rate speed up. Never before had a smile made you want to drop to your knees as fast as this one did.

He tilted the package towards you. “Here, take it. I have some at home.”

“Are you sure?” you asked as you reached out and took hold of the box.

“Yeah,” he replied as you put the food into your cart. “Are you new in town? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, well kinda,” you began, “I moved here about a year ago, I kinda keep to myself.”

The man chuckled softly. “I can understand that.” he stuck his hand out, “I’m Sam, I grew up here.” He waited for you to take his hand and when you did, he brought it up to his lips and kissed your knuckles.

Your jaw dropped when you felt his soft lips on your skin. You swallowed and choked out your name.

“Y/n,” he repeated when he pulled away and released your hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” you panted.

“Look,” Sam said before he licked his lips. “I know we just met, but something is telling me that I’m going to regret this if I don’t do it, so here goes. My sister Sarah is having a fish fry and I was wondering if you would like to come?”

You beamed at him. “Absolutely.” you reached for your phone and handed it to him after you unlocked it. “Here, drop call your phone and text me the details later.”

Sam took your phone and you smiled when you heard his ringtone.

“Great,” he smiled once more. “I’ll let you get back to your shopping and text you later, Y/n.”

You continued your shopping with a smile on your face after he walked away. Your elated mood carried you throughout the rest of your shopping trip.

The following day, after you had gotten some sleep, Sam texted you. The same feeling you had when you talked to him the night before resurfaced the moment you saw his name.

Hey, Y/n, it’s Sam. Here’s the info for the fish fry.

Hi, Sam! Thanks! I can’t wait.

A few minutes passed. You wanted to keep talking to him, but you couldn’t think of anything clever to say, so you sent the first thing that came to mind.

So, do you always shop so late at night?

Yeah, I like the quiet. Fewer people. What about you?

Either late at night or early in the morning for the same reasons.

This might be a little too forward, but next time we could go together.

That would be fun! I’ll let you know the next time I have to go on a late-night grocery run.

You two continued to talk throughout the day while you ran a few errands, and with each message, your excitement for the weekend grew. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were with finding such a catch. You were distracted by a text from Sam when you ran smack into a brick wall, or what you thought was a brick wall. You watched as your phone fell to the ground in slow motion and you cringed at the thought. But your phone never hit the ground, a gloved hand reached down and grabbed it just before it hit the ground.

“Thank you so much!” you cried as you reached for your phone.

“No worries, sweetheart,” a deep voice drawled.

Your heart lurched at his voice and your legs clenched. Once your phone was safely in your hands, you took a step back and bit your lip as you once again found yourself taking in the form of an attractive man.

This man reminded you of Sam because they had a similar build: thick thighs, broad shoulders, strong arms, and dazzling smile. But that’s where the similarities ended. The blue-eyed man in front of you wore a pair of dark wash jeans with a gray shirt underneath a leather jacket. He only wore one glove which made you quirk your eyebrow during your perusal but you didn’t say anything.

When your eyes landed back on his, his smile got bigger. “I’m Bucky,” he said.

“Y/n,” you said and smiled back at him. “I’m so sorry for running into you. I should have been paying attention.”

Bucky shook his head and laughed, “It’s all good, love. It’s not every day a beautiful girl falls into my arms.”

You felt your cheeks heat up. “I wouldn’t say all that,” you mumbled.

Bucky snorted. “I’ve been here for months and you, Miss Y/n, are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

You rolled your eyes, “Thank you Bucky. Well, as nice as this is, I must get going. It was nice to meet you!” you gave him a small wave and began to walk away.

A few days passed, and you were getting ready to head over to the docks. You didn’t know the area well, so the night before, you had made a trip over so that you knew where you were going. The trip seemed easy enough so you weren’t too worried about getting lost.

As you were getting dressed, your stomach filled with butterflies at the thought of seeing Sam once again. You two had been texting and video chatting every day but you couldn’t wait to be in his presence again. You’d thought about Bucky as well, and part of you had wished that you had given him your number, but you weren’t too sad about it.

After checking yourself in the mirror once again, you headed out of the door and made your way to the docks. You found the gathering quickly, but you hesitated before you got out of your car. You sent Sam a quick text letting him know that you made it before you stepped out of your car.

You looked around at the faces on the docks and smiled as you greeted those around you. You always felt relaxed when you spent time around your people. You didn’t have to hide or pretend to be someone that you weren’t.

“There you are!” a familiar voice caught your attention and before you knew it Sam had pulled you into a hug.

When he embraced you, the scent of his cologne filled your nose and you relaxed into his arms. You inhaled deeply and sighed as Sam squeezed you tighter. You felt him bury his nose into your curls while you embraced. After a few moments, you both pulled away.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized.

“No worries.”

“Here, let me introduce you to everyone,” Sam said before he took hold of your hand and pulled you through the crowd. He introduced you to almost everyone in town, some people you’d already met but others you hadn’t had the opportunity to.

“And here’s my sister, Sarah, and my nephews, Cass and AJ,” Sam said and you waved.

“Hi, I’m Y/n,” you said and stuck your hand out for a handshake.

“Nope, we hug around here,” Sarah said just before she pulled you in for a hug.

You could hear Sam laughing beside you.

“We’re just waiting for the cake to get here,” Sarah said when she pulled back. “But the food is done so feel free to fix yourself a plate.”

You nodded your head before she walked away.

“Could I interest you in a drink?” you heard Sam say from beside you.

You nodded your head once again, “Water please.”

Sam chuckled. “Why don’t you go fix your plate while I get you something to drink.”

You watched Sam walk away before you started fixing your plate. You made sure to grab your favorite foods before you found a place to sit. You had already started eating when Sam returned with your drink.

“We didn’t have any water bottles left, so I hope lemonade is okay.” He handed you a cup, and you smiled at him as he took a seat next to you.

Conversation between you two flowed easily and you were having a good time talking to him and Sarah. Sam kept you laughing and entertained while you ate. You were listening to Sam tell a story when there was a commotion at the end of the docks. You watched as Cass and AJ sprinted from their spots at the table and weaved through the crowd. You looked over at Sam in question, but he was already standing and smiling at the newcomer.

“Hey, Y/n, I want you to meet someone,” Sam said as he outstretched his hand toward you. He pulled you out of your seat the moment your hand was in his and before you knew it, you two were weaving through the crowd once again.

Sam dropped your hand the moment you reached your destination and you peeked over his shoulder to see Cass and AJ play fighting with someone holding a cake. You laughed as the man dramatically dodged the young boys’ fists before setting the cake on the nearest table. You stayed put when Sam walked over to the newcomer with a huge smile on his face. Your stomach dropped to your knees when he took off his sunglasses.

“Bucky?” you whispered in disbelief. What were the chances that the two men you’d been dreaming about knew each other? Not only that, what were the chances that they were friends? And close friends at that. You stayed rooted in your spot as you watch the two men in front of you embrace each other. Your eyes darted around to find an escape but luck wasn’t on your side.

As you said his name, Bucky’s eyes landed on you and he froze. Sam noticed the shift in his stance and pulled back from him and followed his gaze. Sam pulled Bucky over to you with a smile on his face.

“Bucky, I’d like you to meet-”

“Y/n.” Bucky finished for him.

Sam paused and looked between the two of you, “Am I missing something?”

Bucky spoke first. “You remember that beautiful girl I told you about?”

Sam nodded before realization flashed in his eyes. “Well damn, Buck,” Sam chuckled and clapped Bucky on his back.

“Wait, what?” you asked. To say you were confused would be an understatement but the two ignored you.

The rest of the evening found you sandwiched between Bucky and Sam, and one of them was touching you at all times. Sam would caress your leg, or Bucky would twirl one of your braids. Sam would lean in close to whisper something in your ear while Bucky rubbed your back. Your senses were heightened and you were slightly overwhelmed. You needed to breathe.

You were glad when Sarah came over and distracted the two men for a second. It allowed you the chance to slip away, and you rushed into the nearest bathroom. It was small, but just the right size for you to hide in.

You stared at yourself in the mirror and caught your breath. Your head was still spinning when you heard a knock at the door. You waited a few seconds before you called out that you’d be right out, but the person on the other side didn’t listen. Before you knew it, Bucky was pushing himself into the small room and locking the door.

“Fuck, Y/n,” he said before crashing his lips against yours. You easily melted into his kiss, but a small part in the back of your brain caused you to pull back.

“Wait, Bucky,” you moaned. You felt his hand slip under your clothes.

“There’s no ‘wait'. I’ve waited long enough,” Bucky growled as he pushed two fingers inside of you.

You were floating. The feeling of Bucky's fingers inside of you felt like heaven. Your eye rolled to the back of your head as he fingered you. He used his other hand to prop your leg up onto the toilet so that he could fuck you deeper.

“Fucking following you around for months hoping that you’d notice me,” he growled into your neck as his fingers picked up speed. “Notice us. And then you go and notice Sam first? You let him win? Fuck you’re gripping me. Can’t wait to feel you wrapped around me.”

Your head began to swim as you caught onto his words.

“What?” you mumbled out. “You’ve been following me?”

“We both have,” he corrected you. “Sam’s been following you longer, ever since you moved here.”

You tried to push him off of you but the hold he had on you kept him rooted right where he was. His fingers began to move impossibly faster as he chuckled.

“I know you wanna cum, baby girl, don’t you?” Bucky grunted.

You shook your head but your breath hitched in your throat. You could feel your orgasm approaching. This was completely wrong but it felt so good.

“Cum on my fingers, baby, I know you can,” Bucky urged and with a few more strokes of his fingers, you came with a silent scream.

You felt Bucky remove his fingers from inside of you, and you watched as he stuck them in his mouth.

“Since you noticed Sam first,” Bucky said as he helped you right your clothes. “He gets to fuck this pretty pussy first, but I just needed a taste. Something to hold me over.” Bucky brushed back your hair and cupped your face with his hands before he kissed you again, deeper than the first time. The kiss lasted for a few minutes before he finally pulled away and he was gone before you could say anything else.

When you came to your senses, you looked at yourself in the mirror. “What the fuck?” you whispered. You needed to get out. You needed to get back home without anyone noticing. When you exited the bathroom, you were thankful that no one was around as you made your way to your car. But that thankfulness was short-lived when you spotted Sam standing at your drivers’ door.

You could see the smirk on his face from where you stood. You began to back away, but your progress was halted when you ran into a solid form.

“Do you think you’re getting away from us now that we’ve got you?” Bucky whispered from behind you. “I told you, we’ve waited too long to let you slip away, baby girl.” Bucky gently pushed you forward until you reached Sam. You refused to look in his eyes, something he found funny.

“I had imagined this going differently, y/n,” Sam said as he hooked his finger under your chin. “But as Bucky said, we’ve waited long enough.” Sam gripped the back of your neck and pressed his lips to yours and forced his tongue into your mouth. His lips were as soft as you had imagined and you were excited to feel them all over your body.

No. No, this was wrong. You didn’t want this. Or did you? Hadn’t this been what you had been dreaming about? Being taken by Sam and Bucky? Hadn’t you dreamed this actual scenario many times? Why would you deny what the Universe was gifting you?

Finally giving in, you threw your arms around Sam’s neck and allowed him to lift you up around his waist. He carried you away from your car and away from the dock. When you pulled away from his lips to catch your breath, you looked around and noticed you were heading towards his truck.

You watched as Bucky let down the back of Sam’s truck and hopped onto the bed before reaching out to you and helping you in. Sam followed the two of you, and he waited as you got comfortable. He had taken care to cover the cold metal with a thick comforter and some pillows.

“You ready for this dick, y/n?” Sam asked and you nodded your head.

“Y/n?” he called your name again.

“Y/n?” he said louder and he shook you this time.

Your eyes snapped open, and you tried catching your breath. You looked around the room and your gaze landed on the man who plagued your dreams.

“Sam,” you whispered once you calmed down.

“Another nightmare?” he asked as he pulled you on top of him.

You shook your head. “No, not this time. This one was different. It felt different. Real almost but I know it didn’t happen.” you couldn’t explain the feeling you had. It felt so real, you could feel everything, but you know Sam would never treat you like that.

Sam held you as you laid on top of him. His hands stroking your back trying to calm you down. When your breath finally deepened, and he was convinced that you were asleep, he reached for his phone and dialed out.

“Hey,” Sam spoke into the phone. “She’s starting to remember. I’m going to need something stronger.”

💖 Please let me know what you think by leaving feedback 💖

#dub-con fic #noncon fic #Gray!Sam Wilson x Black Reader x Gray!Bucky Barnes #Dark!Sam Wilson x Black Reader x Dark!Bucky Barnes #sam wilson x reader #bucky barnes x black reader #sam wilson x reader x bucky barnes #sam wilson imagine #bucky barnes imagine #sam wilson needs more love #maree writes

[intheticklecloset]

Say Mercy (My Hero Academia)

Primary Universe

Summary: When Deku bets Shinsou that he can win in a tickle fight against him, Shinsou takes him up on the offer to find out.

A/N: YES YES YES!! This isn't officially ShinDeku but it's those two boys tickling each other and I liiiiive for this! I was so excited to finally write for them again! Enjoy! ^^

Word Count: 2,302

~~~

“Oh, give me a break,” Shinsou groaned, letting out a defeated sigh. His character spun off the track and had to be rescued, costing him precious seconds as Kaminari’s character whizzed by him into third place. “Dang it, I was actually doing well that time.”

Kami smirked, eyes glued to the screen. “Sorry, bro. Peach waits for no man!”

“She waits for Mario,” Deku pointed out.

“Details.”

The three of them were seated in the living room, having claimed the TV for the night in 1-A’s dorms. Deku was finally getting his wish to become better friends with the purple-haired boy. He’d been elated when his phone had buzzed with a text from him asking if he wanted to join in on some Mario Kart, and he nearly broke another bone in his haste to get to the living room. Kami had seemed concerned, but Shinsou looked amused.

Now they were on their final race in a four-race grand prix, and Kaminari was dominating them both. Deku was content to hang out in fourth and fifth place, but he did feel bad for Shinsou, who had gradually gotten better with each new track until he’d finally claimed third for the first two laps of the last race, only to be thwarted with a red shell.

Kami crossed the line in second, with Shinsou in fourth and Deku in seventh. The electric hero pumped his fists in the air. “Yeah, baby! Gold trophy!”

Deku and Shinsou exchanged amused glances.

“Just wait, Kaminari,” Deku said, grinning. “One of these days Shinsou is going to catch up to you and then you’ll be eating those words. And his dust.”

“Sure, sure.” Kami waved his hand, unbothered. “But I’m going to enjoy the moment while it lasts. I always lose against Bakugou; you gotta let me have this, Midoriya.” Just then his phone buzzed, and he let out a groan of his own. “Ah, crap. Speaking of Bakugou, I promised him and the others I’d study with them tonight. Stupid math, anyway.” He got to his feet and waved, heading out of the living room. “Night, guys. Have fun fighting for last place.”

“Rude!” Deku laughed, waving him out. “Go on. See you tomorrow.”

Then – for the first time – it was just Shinsou and Deku.

“Um,” Shinsou started, “perhaps I should head out, too. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“What? No! You’re more than welcome,” Deku said hurriedly, worried he wouldn’t get the opportunity to talk with his newest friend one-on-one. “Want to do another grand prix? We can knock it down from that 200cc insanity to something more manageable. I’m sure you can get first place if it’s a little easier.”

“With a handicap, you mean.”

“No!” Crap, think about your words, Deku! “No, I just mean that it might be smarter to start with something a little easier, that way you can work your way up. You can beat him on 200cc eventually, I just thought—”

“Midoriya,” Shinsou said, stopping his rambling with a smile. “I was kidding. Relax.”

“Oh. R-Right. Sorry.”

Shinsou chuckled, picking up his controller. “Let’s try 100cc. That way I’m not starting from the complete bottom of the Mario Kart ladder.”

“You know, you might be really good at Sonic racing instead,” Deku suggested, swapping out his player three controller for the player one controller Kami had left behind. “It’s a little more involved, but it’s also technique based more than just random luck. I think you’d be great at it.”

“Sonic has a racing game?”

“Well, yeah. It’s Sonic.”

“I suppose that’s a good point.”

From there the two of them settled into conversation with ease, discussing everything from video games to schoolwork to Shinsou’s latest run-in with Bakugou.

“I can’t believe Kacchan agreed to owe you a favor. He hates owing favors.”

“I got the sense that he was desperate, even if he wasn’t saying as much. It’s satisfying, honestly. I wasn’t going to tell anyone anyway, but it feels good to put that hothead in his place.”

Deku’s lips twitched in a small smile. “The only time I’ve ever really been able to ‘put him in his place’ is when we have tickle fights.”

“You have tickle fights with that maniac?”

“He’s my oldest friend, so it kind of comes with the territory. But it’s fun, too. I like it.”

Shinsou paused for a moment, not reacting at all to the fact that his character once again got knocked from first to fourth with a blue shell. “Sorry. I should be more sensitive. I didn’t know you two were such good friends.”

“Well…” Deku sighed. “We’re not good friends, really. But we’re not enemies either. It’s kind of weird.” He did his best to explain his current standing with Bakugou.

“I see.” Shinsou nodded. “Well, even so, I’ll try to be more delicate in the future. Despite my grievances, I know he does have friends in these dorms, as do I.”

Deku smiled at him, taking his eyes from the screen for a moment to observe his profile. “So you’re making friends after all, Mr. I’m-not-here-to-make-friends?”

“I wasn’t lying.” Shinsou smirked. “But you are nothing if not persistent individuals. You and Kaminari, especially. But…I’m grateful. It feels good to have people actually want to hang out with me.”

Deku went silent for a moment. He could only imagine the kind of social isolation Shinsou went through because of his quirk. He thought back to their fight at the sports festival. How genuinely angry and upset Shinsou had been. He wished he knew what to say, but before he could formulate a response, the boy from 1-C was changing the subject.

“So you and Bakugou have tickle fights, eh? Who wins those?”

“Um…m-mostly Kacchan.”

“I wonder why.”

Deku eyed him again. “Are you saying you don’t think I can win them?”

“Not against him, certainly.”

“I’ve won before! Once or twice…”

“How many times has he won?”

“Look, the number’s not important. What’s important is that we have fun.”

Shinsou laughed, and it was such a surprise the sound actually startled Deku for a moment. “I suppose that’s all that matters, right?”

Feeling emboldened by the conversation and that laugh, Deku challenged, “I bet I could win a tickle fight against you.”

“Oh?” Shinsou crossed the finish line, then turned to look at Deku, who suddenly grew nervous as he waited to cross a few places behind. “Bold words, Midoriya.”

Having finished the race, Deku turned to look at him, suddenly feeling flustered. “I-I mean…since I’ve tickled you before, and I know where your worst spot is already. I just feel like I’d have an advantage…” He trailed off. He knew where Bakugou’s worst spot was, too, but that rarely helped him win those tickle fights.

“I suppose I have been curious how ticklish you actually are, since I’ve never seen it for myself. I’ve only heard stories. Do you seriously get tickled almost every day in this class?”

“U-Um…y-yeah, I do. But I don’t mind.”

Shinsou smirked. “Which means you like it.”

Deku could feel himself blushing now. “Yeah.”

“All right, Midoriya,” Shinsou said, shifting in such a way that the green-haired boy instinctively scrambled back, blushing even harder when his friend chuckled. “I want in. You think you can win a tickle fight against me? How much are you willing to wager?”

“Um…” Deku scrambled to think of something. “I-I don’t know…what do you want?”

“A thousand yen says I win.”

“Oh, yeah? W-Well…two thousand says I win!”

“You’re that confident? Very well. Quirks or no quirks?”

Deku froze. “N-No quirks. It’s not because I’m afraid of you, I just—”

“It’s okay, Midoriya. No quirks is actually advantageous for me, since mine doesn’t help me physically.” Shinsou smirked, pushing his controller aside. “Ready?”

“Y-Yeah. Ready.”

Deku barely had the words out before Shinsou was on him, shoving him to the floor with surprising speed and strength, wiggling his fingers into his sides.

“Eeep! Ahahahahahahaha, nohohohohohoho!” Deku giggled, trying to bat Shinsou’s hands away. “No fahahahahahahair! There wasn’t eheheheheheven a countdohohohown!”

“I asked if you were ready, and you said yes,” Shinsou replied calmly, grinning at the mess he’d made of 1-A’s most promising student, all with just a couple of light scribbles. “If you were lying, that’s your own fault.”

“G-Gehehehehehet off!” Deku squealed, reaching up to squeeze Shinsou’s ribs, pleased with the bright smile he got in response. He squeezed harder, willing himself to reach both hands up despite the continuing tickle attack on his own sides. “Get ohohohohohohoff!”

“N-No,” Shinsou grunted, obviously fighting back giggles of his own. He was tempted to reach for what he knew was a good spot, but decided against it for the moment. There would be plenty of time for that later. Right now he wanted to get to know every weak spot he could. He darted his own fingers up to Deku’s ribs and vibrated. “Heh, h-how’s it feel, Midoriya?”

“Fihihihihihihihine!” Deku shoved his hands up under Shinsou’s arms in retaliation. The purple-haired boy retracted his hands to bring his arms in protectively, giving Deku the opening he needed to push him over and grab at every ticklish spot he could think of. Ribs, sides, belly. He went for them all in rapid succession. “W-What about you, Shinsou? A little ticklish, huh?”

“D-Don’t – you cahahahan’t act like y-yohohou don’t already knohohow!” Shinsou protested, curling up into the fetal position on the floor, chuckling into the carpet.

“Why? Does it fluster you when I do that?” Deku used the opportunity to grab at his friend’s knees and squeeze. Shinsou kicked his legs out so hard in response he almost took Deku out with them. “Whoa!”

“S-Sohohorry,” Shinsou giggled, batting at the hands that had returned to his sides.

“Bad spot?”

“Nohohot really. Just surprised mehehehehe.”

“You’re not really fighting back, you know~” Deku teased, amused by the realization. “Do you want to owe me two thousand yen?”

“Juhuhuhust indulging a lihihihihittle. Dohohohon’t worry…” Shinsou suddenly shot upright and dug into Deku’s underarms. “I’ll still win this tickle fight!”

“NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Deku screeched, falling back onto the floor with laughter bursting from his lungs. “NOHOHOHOHOHO!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP IT!!”

“Ooh~ Bad spot?”

“NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!”

“No? You sure? You seem like you’re lying.” Shinsou grabbed one of Deku’s wrists and pinned it above his head, drilling deep into his underarm with his free hand.

Deku shrieked, tossing his head back and laughing unabashedly. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! SHIHIHIHIHIHIHINSOU!!” He desperately tried to grab at any ticklish spot he could with his other arm. He managed to succeed in scribbling against Shinsou’s side, causing the taller boy to choke out a giggle and unpin him so he could fight back.

Without really thinking about it, Deku sat up and grabbed his hips, digging in deep.

Shinsou burst into his own round of laughter, grasping at Deku’s wrists and trying to push him away while also desperately trying to keep from falling over again. “NONONO – NOHOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHEHEHERE YOU CHEHEHEHEHEATER!!”

“Cheater? There was no rule against worst spots, Shinsou.” Deku grinned, feeling a rush of happy satisfaction at having made Shinsou laugh so freely without even needing to pin him down first. “Tickle, tickle, tickle~”

“SHUT UP!! DOHOHOHOHOHON’T TEHEHEHEASE ME, MIDORIYAHAHAHA!!” Shinsou flailed for a few moments more before grabbing Deku’s hips as well. “TAKE THIS!!”

“NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!” Now Deku was laughing hysterically as well, trying to fight his attacker off while still keeping up his own tickling assault. “YOU JEHEHEHEHEHEHERK!!”

“YOU STAHAHAHAHAHAHARTED IT!!”

It was a hilarious sight, the two of them tickling each other’s hips in the middle of the living room floor, Mario Kart long forgotten on the TV behind them, laughing loudly and desperately trying to push each other off. In the end, it came down to which of them was more ticklish, and soon the tides began to turn in Shinsou’s favor.

“HA!! CAHAHAHAHAHAHAN’T LAHAHAHAHAST FOREVER, CAN YOHOHOHOHOU, MIDORIYA?!”

“NOHOHOHOHOOOOO!!” Deku whined as he finally relented his own attack to focus on defense, grabbing Shinsou’s wrists and trying to push him away. “NO FAHAHAHAHAHAHAIR!!”

“I can’t help it if you’re just that ticklish,” Shinsou teased, still smiling uncontrollably as he finally managed to push Deku to the floor and straddle him, kneading into his hips deeply. “Much better. This is how I suspected this would end.”

Deku fought for a few more moments, then finally gave up and relented, kicking his legs wildly and holding onto Shinsou’s wrists weakly, feeling the muscles in his hands move as they tickled him, only making him more sensitive. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FIHIHIHIHIHIHIHINE!! FINE YOU WIHIHIHIHIHIHIN!! I GIHIHIHIHIHIVE UP!!”

Shinsou smirked, feeling a rush of satisfaction at his friend’s desperate cries. “Say mercy.”

“MEHEHEHEHEHEHERCY!! MERCY, MERCYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!”

For a long moment, Shinsou kept up his assault, not saying a word, making Deku shriek with ticklish panic at the fleeting thought that maybe he wouldn’t stop after all. But then, finally, it was all over, and he could breathe again. He gulped in large doses of oxygen greedily, reaching up to wipe the corners of his eyes where mirthful tears had started to form.

“You okay?” Shinsou asked, chuckling a little at the sight.

Deku sputtered out some leftover giggles and sat up. “Y-Yeah. I’m good.”

“You owe me two thousand yen.”

“Jeez, you don’t waste any time, do you, Shin?”

Shin? The boy from 1-C smiled a little at the nickname. “Not if I can help it, no. Told you I’d take you down.”

“In a tickle fight, maybe,” Deku conceded, picking up his player one controller and brandishing it with a new kind of challenging spark in his eye. “But I bet you still can’t win gold even on 100cc!”

Shinsou laughed, grabbing his own controller and knocking it against Deku’s like they were doing a fist-bump. “You’re on.”

#fanfiction #tickle fic #boku no hero #my hero academia #bnha #mha #izuku #midoriya #deku #hitoshi #shinsou #shindeku #video games #tickle fight #cute #fluff #tickling #ticklish #tickle

[mrsabednadir]

Savior

Summary: A bullet brings you closer to Spencer than you ever thought possible.

Warnings: gun violence, hospitals, self-loathing (Spencer), very mild cursing (like one F bomb) -- please let me know if I missed anything! // angst, fluff, but a definite happy ending

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN Reader (they/them pronouns)

WC: 1.7k

A/N: I am not a doctor at all, so I have no idea if these injuries or the reader’s recovery are consistent or even possible LOL anyways enjoy! woohoo for second fics :D

Pablo Neruda once wrote, “if nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life.”

And how true his words were. Because as I stared down the barrel of a pistol, I felt elated, not scared.

I reminisced on the displays of love that saved me from life: Penelope showing up at my apartment completely unannounced with two trays of cupcakes after I got chewed out by Strauss; Rossi inviting the team to make carbonara whenever a case hit particularly hard; Emily’s checkups, calls, and texts whenever she noticed a metaphorical cloud hanging over me; Hotch’s stoic but reassuring presence that conveyed compassion without words; and Spencer — Spencer’s existence was a paragon of humanity.

It was Spencer who always asked for my opinion on cases when I was a rookie overcome by uncertainty and shyness, Spencer who brought me coffee every day, just the way I liked it, Spencer who always offered to take a couple of my cases from the endless stack of reports so I wouldn’t have to stay late. (although, in his own words, he found bureaucratic paperwork “mediative”...)

I didn’t even hear the gun go off nor the agonizing screams of the people I cared most about as metal cracked thunderously against my skull. Love was all I knew before nothingness mercifully embraced me like an old friend.

---

“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it, we go nowhere.” That was Carl Sagan, Cosmos, chapter 1, page 9. That was easy to know and to remember. It was something I wanted to remember. But it’s a pitfall of an eidetic memory, the dichotomy between what one knows and what one happens to know.

For instance, I happen to know the unimaginable terror, overwhelming grief, and suffocating guilt of watching someone you love cling to life. I happen to know the horrible darkness consuming you like a cancer from the inside out as you watch pure evil empty a cartridge into the person you swore to protect. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get the image of him pointing the pistol to Y/N’s head, Y/N lurching forward, the 140-decibel boom of burning propellant, the blinding light of the muzzle flash, him crumpling to the ground as government bullets riddled his body…

Now, as I sat in the waiting room, my brain was swimming in thoughts. It was like Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment: “scraps and shreds of thoughts were swarming in his brain, but he could not rest on one.” But was I guilty of murder? Did I get Y/N killed? Was I no good as a frenzied axeman?

And very suddenly, the harsh, unforgiving hospital lights seemed to morph into a single beam, focused on me. It was the light of an interrogation room, demanding answers. But I had none. I couldn’t give a good explanation as to why I agreed to split up with Y/N, why my geographic profile failed, why I failed...I kept my head down, but I could still almost feel seven pairs of eyes blaming me. They didn’t say anything, but they didn’t have to.

I might as well have fired the bullet into Y/N’s brain myself.

Just then, I heard someone calling me from far away, as I desperately tried to escape to a distant land where Y/N wasn’t lingering between life and death.

“Reid?” It was Morgan.

I looked up towards him. He nudged me to where a tired doctor stood, ready to address us. This was it, this was the moment I would either come to remember with bliss or sorrow.

“The bullet,” she explained, “just grazed the back of the head. It passed through the occipital lobe and made a clean exit on the other side.

“Moreover, the trauma sustained was severe: multiple broken ribs, a partially-collapsed lung, as well as innumerable bruises, cuts, and hairline fractures. There also appeared to be an onset of hemorrhagic hypovolem-”

I was growing more impatient--and scared--with each additional injury. Hotch felt the same way apparently, as he asked, “Doctor?” With one word, and a plea in his eyes for the truth, she understood.

“Yes.”

I felt like I could cry right then and there. I was crying. For the past few days, I was Atlas, but the world had finally been lifted off my shoulders. There was no solace as sweet as this. I was worlds away, to the land where Y/N would be okay, except this was no fantasy — it was real.

-- -

When I finally woke up, I was no longer strapped to a chair in a dilapidated, forgotten factory. My fingers felt the scratchy but reassuring presence of hospital linens, my eyes fought to adjust to the light, my ears registered the monotone beeping of the vital signs monitor.

I was alive. Love kept me alive.

“Oh my god!”

I grinned; I could recognize Penelope’s voice anywhere.

“You’re awake! You’re actually awake! How are you feeling?,” she exclaimed as she rushed over to hug me.

“It’s great to see you too,” I smiled, ignoring the slight discomfort in my sides.

“Reid’s gonna be so mad he missed this!”

“Where is he?” There was probably no one else I wanted to see more right now. There were so many things I had to tell him: “I’m okay,” “it’s not your fault,” “I love you”....

“He said he’d be getting jello from the cafeteria. Y/N, he’s been here every single day since you were admitted. You know what that means? I mean, I’m no profiler, but it sounds like the BAU has two new lovebirds!” she teased.

“Thank you, Penelope, for that wonderful analysis,” I laughed and jokingly rolled my eyes. “But maybe he was just a concerned citizen. He is a doctor, you know.”

“You and I both know that Dr. Spencer Reid has a particular fondness for-”

Speak of the devil. He just had to come back now.

“Who knows that I have a particular fondness for what?” he asked. His eyebrows endearingly furrowed in confusion, and I felt a new wave of affection crash down all over me.

But when he turned and saw me, I knew what it was like to truly love. It was like nothing I ever felt before, but it was everything I hoped it could be. It was the glimpse of sunshine aching to escape from clouds; it was the song of morning birds commemorating a new beginning; it was the snow melting to make way for the spring; it was the blossom of every flower on Earth all at once.

There was a tenderness in his expression that seemed to emerge from deep within his heart. It was in his softened eyes, his widened smile, his flushed cheeks. He had never looked more beautiful.

“You’re okay,” he whispered so quietly that I almost missed it.

“Of course I am — you saved me.”

Penelope cleared her throat. “I think I’ll leave you two to catch up,” she winked before shuffling out.

The room was almost completely silent, aside from Penelope’s departing heels and the ever-steady chatter of hospital machinery.

“Spencer?”

He looked up. I extended my hand to him, and he grasped it like a lifeline.

“I already know what you’re thinking,” I continued. “None of this is your fault.”

He moved as if about to object, but I waved him off.

“We both made the decision to split up back there. And as a matter of fact, you were the one to rescue me.”

“No, t-that was the whole team,” he stammered. “Y/N — God, I’m so unbelievably fucking sorry. A-and I should never have let you have gone off by yourself, I should have been more careful with the geo-profile, I should have-”

I shook my head. With every disparaging remark about himself, my heart threatened to fracture.

“Spencer, listen to me. Do you know how I got through that week? Of course I kept clinging on to hope that the team would never stop searching. But more than anything, I thought of you. You were my end goal, Spencer. I fought every day to see your smile again, to hear your laugh. Do you get what I’m saying?”

He met my eyes but said nothing. There was something completely unreadable in his face, like he was holding something back.

“Spencer,” I heard my voice shaking. How do you tell someone that whenever you look at the stars, you find comfort in knowing that you share the same night sky?

“Spencer, I-I love you. You don’t have to say it back, not now or ever. But you need to know that you saved my life so many times, in more ways than one. I’ve known for a long time that I’ve loved you. And now you do too.”

His hand was still on mine, and I wondered if he could feel the longing that emanated from me. For a moment, I worried that I had come on too strong too soon. But the smile that emerged on his face put all my worries to rest.

“I’m glad I didn’t have to say it first,” he laughed. “Y/N, I’ve loved you probably ever since you walked into the bullpen six years, eight months, twelve days ago. The only reason I say ‘probably’ is because…” he paused, as if searching for both the right thing to say and courage. “‘I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.’”

I couldn’t help but smile at the reference. “You know what? I don’t care if they’re the greatest love story of all time. I definitely love you more than Elizabeth loves Darcy.”

He laughed. “I could definitely say the same.”

And that was what I remembered before I drifted to sleep, warm and content, with Spencer’s hand in mine — proof of the love that saved me from life.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #dr spencer reid #spencer reid #fbi bau #bau x reader #birdiewrites

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 21

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long. I was having a really hard time writing this chapter. I don't know why but I did. It is done now though. This chapter contains SMUT. DNI IF UNDER 18. IF YOU INTERACT UNDER 18 YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. As always, feedback is appreciated and much love. -Em

I woke up half an hour early Friday morning. Monty groaned at the alarm. “Shh. It’s for me. Go back to sleep.” He grunted in response. I placed a soft kiss to the back of his neck and got out of bed. I picked up one of his shirts from the laundry basket that hadn’t made its way into a drawer yet. In the bathroom, I ran the shower while I brushed my teeth. In the shower, I washed my hair and exfoliated while my conditioner sat. After my face was washed, I set about the arduous task of shaving. There was some spectacularly ungraceful bending and balancing to make sure I hadn’t missed any spots. This is attractive. Bet he wishes he was awake to see this spectacle.

Once I was clean, I finished my skincare routine while my hair towel dried. I used a honey almond moisturizer that I knew Monty liked. I slipped his shirt on. His alarm went off while I was putting product in my hair. Surprisingly, he got up of his own accord. “Morning baby.” He mumbled from the other side of the door.

“Morning babe.”  Knowing his routine like the back of my hand by now, I vacated the bathroom to go make some breakfast. A bowl of apple oatmeal sounded delicious this morning. I poured a bowl of cereal for Monty. While he showered and coffee brewed, I read my newest book.

“Good morning Addison.” Monty smiled and kissed me when he came into the kitchen. His hair was still wet. It dripped on my arm and made me jump slightly.  

“Good morning Monty.”

“You smell nice.” He placed another kiss on my head. I tilted my head up and back to kiss him again. I brought my arm up to wrap around his neck. His arm instinctively found its way to settle just below my chest. I held him in place as I deepened the kiss slightly.

Before it could go any further the coffee machine beeped. Monty pulled away. He rolled his eyes a little. I went back to my book like nothing happened, but not before I caught him adjusting his jeans. I smirked to myself. I might have to text the guys and tell them brunch is cancelled. “It’s supposed to rain today, so I don’t think you should go to school in just my shirt.”

“Well, that’s unfortunate. I was practically already ready to go.” I teased. He turned to look at me. His eyes had darkened a shade or two. I couldn’t be sure if it was from our kiss or my comment.

“And now you have to go put some fucking pants on.”

“Yes, sir.” I mock saluted. He chuckled as he poured us cups of coffee.

“That’s Daddy to you Doll.” He muttered as I walked back to our room. Again, I smirked to myself. Well at least the sex shouldn’t be as big a surprise. I picked up my phone off the nightstand and texted Scott, Charlie, and Justin. Brunch might be cancelled tomorrow. My parents need us to help move some furniture.

Charlie answered me first. You mean they need you to them move furniture. I smiled. As I was deciding on a pair of jeans, Justin texted me. I glanced down at my phone. Supervision duty. Fun. Let me know if something breaks.

Black skinny jeans or the navy with the cuffs?

Navy.

Thanks.

Scott answered a minute later. That’s all the updates I need or want. I tied a knot in front of the shirt, so I wasn’t swimming in it. My hair was beginning to dry by now, so I ran a comb through it quickly and scrunched it in an attempt to give it at least a little shape while it finished drying.

As I was walking out of our room, Justin texted me again. Oh. You don’t actually mean that. Have fun. Still let me know if something breaks.

I do. And I will. See you at school.

I didn’t bother waiting for a response and slipped my phone in my pocket. “Remember we are helping mum and dad with the stupid hutch tomorrow afternoon.”

“I know. If dad hasn’t said anything to either of us before school is done, I’ll text him.”

“Alright.” I stopped in front of Monty and twirled. “See, pants. Better?”

“Much. And watch that tone missy.”

“Okay.” I rolled my eyes. He blinked at me in surprise. I watched as he stepped towards me and leaned in.

“I have no issue being late for school. Feel free to keep this up Doll.” He grumbled.

“Sorry. I’ll be good.” I squeaked.

“Good.” He nodded. I jumped when he swatted my butt as he walked past me to turn on the news. He was right. It was supposed to rain today.

There was a sweater in my spot when I got to lunch. I picked it up and threw it over my bag as I sat down. Monty stopped talking and kissed the side of my head, before going back to arguing with Zach and Charlie about a play for tonight’s game. I tuned them out and turned to Justin. “Moving furniture?” He muttered to me.

“Yeah. Mum is sick of looking at that awful hutch coat rack thing.”

“How are you supposed to help with that?”

“Direct. Probably push it.”

“On the hardwood?”

“We are going to put cloths underneath. It’ll be good. Monty is going to supervise because of his knee. He’s thrilled.”

“He finally gets out of the heavy lifting?”

“Yup. All it took was breaking himself.”

“All.” We chuckled. “I want to know if it breaks. That thing really is awful. Call me if you need more help.”

“It is. I’ll definitely tell you.”

“Good.”

“Tell them I’m right Addison.” Zach said.

“About?”

“No, tell them I’m right.” Monty said.

“About?”

“The play is a stupid play.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“And we are asking the person who doesn’t do sports about sports because…?”

“Just agree.”

“And now I defer to Justin. Talk to your boys please.”

“Oh, so now they’re my boys?”

“Yes.” I nodded and pulled out my salad, effectively removing myself from the conversation. The sweater came in handy. It was absolutely pouring rain on my way to fourth period.

“They don’t need us until at least three tomorrow.” Monty said as I was getting my books from my locker.

“That’s great. I’ll tell the boys brunch is still on.” I picked up my bag and we made our way to the car. My plans for the evening were playing over in my head as we walked.

At home, Monty went to change while I threw a load of laundry in. I got started on some homework with the time we had to kill before making dinner. He squeezed my shoulder as he passed me at the island. I smiled at him briefly before going back to my notes. He grabbed a bag of fruit snacks and pulled out my laptop. I did note that he had already taken off his pants for no pants pizza. We worked quietly for a little while before my stomach started to grumble. Monty chuckled quietly. We turned to each other and grinned. “Dinner?”

“Yes, please.” I laughed. We stood up and took out ingredients. The hour or so we took to cook was so nice. There were stolen glances and stupid jokes passed between the two of us. We slowly moved closer to each other and bumped hips. Everything was so normal. It was amazing. I was elated to be back to how things used to be.

After we finished enjoying our pizzas, I got up to change and get ready for bed. I reapplied my lotion and grabbed my favourite white button up. The white button up. I left the top few buttons undone. Smoothing it out in the mirror, I made my way back to the couch. I sat down cross-legged next to Monty.

“That’s familiar.” He said as he looked up. I shrugged.

“It’s comfortable.”

“Okay.” He smiled. I leaned closer and he pulled me into his side. He shifted and stretched before putting his arm across the back of the couch, and my shoulders. Cliché but adorable. Neither of us commented on the light blue strappy bra I wore. Or the fact that I was wearing a matching set.

The two of us sat in comfortable silence for a while. The Cars That Made America was on. It was very interesting. Soon enough the first episode ended and the second began. Love that History does all three at once. I could feel Monty’s eyes on me. He tried to hide that he was looking, by sneaking quick glances. No matter how hard he tried not to, I knew he was staring down his shirt. My position against his side gave him a prefect view of my cleavage. I tried to hide a smirk as I spoke. “Yes?”

“Nothing.” He averted his gaze and tried to feign more interest in our show.

“Okay.” I adjusted my position again. I hadn’t noticed how aroused I was until I moved, and the cool air hit my core. I inhaled sharply.

“Are you okay Addison?”

“Yeah.” I looked up and caught him smirking.

“You sure about that?”

“Mhmm.”  

“Alright.” I cuddled closer into his side. Tilting my head up slightly, I kissed his jaw softly. We were well into episode two by this point. He turned and kissed me on the forehead.

I sat up a little and kissed his cheek. He smiled to himself.

I took the opportunity to kiss the corner of his mouth.  Then I kissed him properly. He smiled more. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip. He allowed me entrance and eventually, pulled me into his lap. My hands rested at his shoulders. His wrapped around my waist and rested on my hips. He let me lead for a while. My hips ground on their own accord. Until his natural desire for control got the best of him and he broke. Our fight for dominance ended when he grabbed my his with one hand to still me. The other hand slid up my side and came to rest against my throat. I whimpered and tried to buck my hips. His hand squeezed my throat gently. A warning. I pulled away and huffed. He leaned in and nipped my lip. I stuck my tongue out at him. He quirked a brow. I looked down at him apologetically. He shook his head and smiled. I leaned in and kissed him again. He pulled away and started to kiss my neck. It was really soothing. I sighed slightly and adjusted my position. Monty nipped my neck. I whimpered.

His hand travelled back down my body and rested at my panty line. My breath caught as his fingers ran along the line. My hand travelled down his body and tugged at the bottom of his shirt. Monty pulled away and pulled his shirt off. I dragged my nails down his chest again and immediately my hand rested at the waistband of his boxers. He smirked at me. I looked at him with begging eyes. He nodded. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I said, confidently nodding.

“Okay.” He nodded again. I sat back in his lap and pulled his button up off. My hands went back to his waistband and pulled his boxers down a little. He picked me up and placed me on the couch so he could take them off. I jumped back into his lap after pulling my own underwear off.

There was no need to prepare either of us because of all the pent-up tension that had been building in the days and weeks leading up to this. I slowly sank down on his cock, gasping as it entered me. He groaned in my ear and threw his head back. I began to rock my hips back and forth and around in circles, trying to find the best angle and positioning. Once I found it, we both looked at each other with wide eyes. Perfect. He pulled my head towards his and kissed me deeply. “I love you.” He mumbled against my mouth.

“I love you too.” I found my rhythm and placed my hands on his shoulders to get better leverage and balance. Soon enough, I could tell the knot in my stomach was beginning to tighten. Montgomery’s grip on my hip tightened and I could tell his high was coming on fast. Probably a little faster than he would like, but I wasn’t going to complain.

A few minutes, or maybe a few more than a few minutes, I wasn’t counting, my walls tightened around his cock. He groaned. I leaned down and bit into his shoulder. Monty growled. I felt his cock spasm deep inside of me. I gingerly removed myself from his cock and rested in his lap. We both slumped against each other, breathing heavily. Eventually, we both stood and moved to our bedroom. There were a few more rounds. We woke up the next morning groggy, sore, and sated.

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