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astolfofo · 17 days

Note

Aventurine + only one bed trope

(No you both have to sleep on the bed- don't try "I'll/He will sleep on the floor or anything of the sort)

That's it

Let is infest in your brain and stays there rent free

Written as me????? I guess???????. Realistically. I’d probably just take the blanket from him and use it like a sleeping bag. Or I’d just lay there. Unable to sleep at all. Because no way am I trusting him to be that close to me. Even while fully conscious. Probably couldn’t even move a centimetre because it’s gonna wake him up.

Okay note; UM SO I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS BRO IM. NAH IM GONNA REGRET THIS IN THW MORNING. 😭😭😭😭😭 if you open keep reading it’s raw dialogue with no editing just a fyi. It’s 4am. Cut me some slack 💀 also this is some really disjointed writing and prob ooc

————-

It had been a while since you had been forced to stay in a hotel. Sure, you liked staying away from home. But not under this kind of circumstance.

You just didn’t know what to expect. Aventurine had to practically drag you away from the platform (much against your own will. You had already boarded the train, ready to get the hell out of here) into an expensive-looking hotel. You assumed he had some kind of connection with this certain one because he didn’t even glance at the check-in counter. Just pulled you by the arm into one of the suites on the highest floor. You guess he chose the highest floor, specifically so you couldn’t get away that easily again.

the door clicks when you insert the card in, and you slowly push it open. The door seems to close very quickly, and you barely manage to hold it open.

It’s heavy.

You push the door open again, and and walk in. The door almost immediately slams shut this time, followed by two clicks.

one, was the door lock.

the second was a lock typically stored where a door chain was. It required a code to open. One that you didn’t know.

You then see the single bed in the middle of the room, and the colour instantly drains from your face. You were locked inside a room, stuck with none other than a suspicious man. A suspicious man that you were trying to get away from no less than two full hours ago.

you feel a gloved hand slink over your shoulder.. immidieately, you want to recoil. Sink into the floor. Run away. Slap the hand off. But you don’t. You stand there. Still.

“You didn’t expect me to let you off that easily did you?”

You don’t need to turn your head around to know who it is. You don’t want to hear his voice. Pretend he’s not there.

“You’re going to sharing the same room with me tonight,” he continues, leaning closer into you, “You’re okay with that, right?”

You didn’t respond. It wasn’t like you had a choice. You really should’ve brought that lock cutter along with you.

Aventurine doesn’t seem to mind though. You don’t ever recall seeing someone so giddly about anything. Ever.

——-

You stare at the single bed in the room. “Aventurine, there’s only one bed…”

He says nothing in return but you really do not want to see his facial expression right now either.

“Um… I guess… I’ll just sleep on the floor then. You can have the bed.”

“You’re not really suggesting you’re going to sleep on that cold, hard, floor without anything are you?”

“I’m not going to be sleeping anyways. It makes no difference whether I sleep on the floor or on the bed.”

“Seriously? You’d rather not sleep at all before even considering sharing a bed with me? Do you really hate me that much?”

“It’s not the first time I haven’t been able to sleep because of you,” You snapped. “plus, it’s not even the first night I didn’t sleep at all.” You added, ”I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways if I had to share a bed with you.”

“Then why don’t I make you fall asleep, hm? Would you… prefer that instead?”

“Hell no! You’re the last person I’d let-“

“But your face is turning bright red, is it not?’

“Yeah well that’s because your embarrassing me!”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about you know…”

“Whatever. You’re not doing that. I won’t hesitate to saw that sorry thing off you if you even try it.”

“Oh that’s such a scary threat,” He replies, sarcastically. “But I promise you… that when we do it… you won’t want me to stop.”

He leans closer. “You’ll be begging me not to stop. I’m going to make a mess out of you. I’m going to fuck you until this cute little personality of yours melts away. Until you can’t even remember your own na-“

You throw a pillow and hit him square in the face. “You…. You…”

He laughs and pulls the pillow off his face. “You’re interested now, aren’t you?”

“I am NOT. Interested. Disgusted would be a better term to suit what I just heard.”

“Suit yourself.” He shrugs, “It’s going to happen one day though, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Last thing you could make me do is enjoy… that.”

“You can say that all you want, darling.”

You glare at him hard enough that he puts his hands up as a sign of peace.

”So anyways, do you want the left side of the bed or the right side of the bed?”

#Yandere aventurine #yandere aventurine x reader #Aventurine x reader #Yandere hsr #honkai star rail x reader #You’re gonna need to wheedle me to write smut after I’m fucking done with the quest I felt geninue post nut clarity from just that #Bit of dialogue

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realcube · 3 years

Text

randomly falling asleep with hq!! characters 💤

navi | masterlist | taglist

thank you anon for this cute request!

characters: ushijima, tsukishima & yachi

content warning: swearing, mentions of sexual assault

thank you to anon for this cute request

wakatoshi ushijima

♡ he shows affection in his own...special way 😊

♡ by that, i mean that if you fall asleep while sitting next to him and he thinks you look cute, he’ll just stare (●__●)

♡ like deadass if he was anyone else, it’d be creepy as hell but he’s your bf so-

♡ he stares bc not only do you look precious, but he doesn’t want to touch you as he’s afraid that he might wake you up

♡ though, if you’re in public (like sitting next to him on the train) he might gently put his arm around your shoulders to make sure that onlookers know that you’re safe with him

♡ also, it only takes one time for him to catch on to your habit of disappearing and falling asleep in the most unconventional places and istg he is the BEST at guessing where you are - it’s a gift

♡ like he’ll arrive home and if you’re not there to immediately greet him with kisses, he’ll take a moment - let him boyfriend senses take over and walk him over to whatever room is giving him ✨(y/n) vibes✨, open the door and there is a 99% chance you are in that room sleeping

♡ and he probably got it right first guess (which is a pretty big deal considering y’alls house resembles a sims fkn mansion made with motherload money)

♡ he’ll open the door to the storage cupboard to find you sleeping with the mr muscle spray and it’s such a shame bc he was going to be a clown and make a ‘why are you cheating on me?’ joke but you were in REM sleep 🙄

♡ or he’ll walk in to the conservatory and see you laying in the fetal position on the floor and that is the ONLY time he interferes with your sleep bc he doesn’t want you to fuck up your back 🥺

♡ like he has an obsession with your posture - like if you are slouched he will tell you to stand up straight or if you are sitting hunched in a chair, he’ll creep up behind you to start massaging your shoulders while fixing your posture

♡ not to be rude though- just bc he cares

♡ also, he never questions how you end up falling asleep in the most random of places, he just goes with it

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

ushijima sighed as he hung up his jacket, realising that this was one of those days were you won’t come scurrying to the front door to greet him with kisses and instead he had to hunt through in search of you. although, it wasn’t much of a hunt considering his gut instinct said you’d be in the study room and there you were, cuddled up by the bookshelf.

however, your back was hunched over in way that didn’t look to comfortable so ushijima thought it was his duty to transport you to somewhere that there was a lot more appropriate and fit for sleeping.

so he gently slipped one hand behind your back and the other under your knees to slowly pick you up and carry you to your shared bedroom. is efforts may have been in vain though as he noticed one of your lids flutter open out of the corner of his eye, “good afternoon, sweetheart.” he hummed, steadily shifting his hand from your back to the back of your head to tenderly caress your cheek with his thumb as you cuddled into his chest. “are you awake?”

“No.” you groaned.

“Shame, I was going to suggest going out for walk on the beach--”

“I’m awake! Let’s go!”

kei tsukishima

♡ he probably calls you lazy but he’s really just jealous of how well you can sleep

♡ coz he just lays in bed till 4AM staring at the ceiling

♡ i imagine that if you were to fall asleep next to him in a crowded, bustling place - like on a train - he’d take off his headphones and clasp them over your ears so the loud announcements don’t wake you up

♡ he doesn’t fall asleep on transport btw (not even planes) so don’t worry about missing your stop

♡ though he’s not usually a fan of PDA, he’ll hold your hand without a second thought to lead you out the train when you’re still recovery from the post-sleep haze because of course he doesn’t want to lose you in the crowds of people or anything

♡ and if you have a cute lil sleepy face then he might take a picture but he’d probably edit the picture with snapchat or something and draw like a moustache on you, put a sarcastic caption or something then send it to you

♡ (but he’d save an unedited version of the pic bc you’re adorable-)

♡ like tsukki leaves you on delivered most of the time on snapchat bc he believes if you have something important to say, you’ll just message him normally but the rare occasion you do get a snap from him, don’t get your hopes up bc there is a 99% it’s just something like a picture of you with a drawn on crown and the caption ‘sleeping beauty 🙄’

♡ ‘so you think i’m a beauty 🥺’

♡ then he leaves you on read

♡ he will not carry you under any circumstances in public btw

♡ and at home, if you were to fall asleep on the couch next to him while y’all were watching a movie, there’s a 50/50 that’d he carry you to bed

♡ but if he doesn’t take you to bed, he’ll set down a pillow for you on the couch and shift you around so you were laying in a more comfortable position, then drape a blanket over you

♡ in regards to when he comes back from work, you’re usually already asleep in bed - but there is one time that you were not in the bedroom, and he still teases you for it until this day

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

most of the time, you’re sound asleep in bed by the time gets home but tonight you weren’t - in fact, you were no where to be seen. he had searched everywhere, called your phone multiple time and he looked at your schedule, but it appeared as though you were supposed to home right now - so hours, he was sitting fretfully on the couch, contemplating calling the police.

however, all his distressed pacing really worked up an appetite so he poked his head into the pantry to grab a snack but his soul almost left his body when he noticed you laying on the floor, fast asleep, with the cat curled up in your arms. who he didn’t even noticed was missing lol

usually, he wouldn’t even think of waking you up but the rage and shock that shot through his body resulted in him barking out, “what the fuck?! what are you doing here?! i’ve been looking all over this damn house for you and--”

he was cut off by the cat springing out of your arms from the surprising sharpness of his voice and scurrying off, leaving you confused on the floor on the pantry, half asleep, wondering how you got here and why tsukishima was yelling at you? “hm? what’s wrong, sweetie?” you hummed, rubbing your eyes while tilting your head up to look at his tall, slender figure looming over you in the doorway.

as much as tsukishima wanted to stay mad at you, upon noticing how cute your bedhead was along with how soft your voice was, he quickly realised that there was no way he could continue yelling you. so instead, he scoffed and slowly kneeled down to sit next to you on the floor, looking at you with kind yet concerned eyes as he inquired, “why were you sleeping in the pantry?”

it took you a moment to try and remember but once you did, you blurted out, “oh, berry was having trouble sleeping.” yes your cat is called berry. don’t question it. her full name is strawberry tsukishima shortcake. “so i cuddled with her in her favourite sleeping spot and she slept like a baby. but i guess i did too.” yo chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of your neck.

tsukishima mentally cursed you out as he was expecting a silly explanation but shit that’s cute. why does he lowkey want to join y’all next time?

hitoka yachi

♡ gsrbtrhryh she gets so flustered and nervous when you fall asleep with her

♡ and she always does tbh bc she has no idea what to do

♡ like she thinks you look so precious and angelic so she really wants to take a picture and - if she thinks you’d be okay with it - she clicks a photo and probably sets it as her background or posts it on her private story

♡ she is just so head over heels for you tbh that everything you do just astounds her

♡ she just stares at you like ◉_◉ for half an hour bc you are so beautiful then something inside her just prompts her to lean in and just *mwah* and at first she is quite satisfied bc she has expressed her affection

♡ but then a few seconds later her soul just leaves her body and guilt just washes over her

♡ ‘OMG I JUST ASSULTED MY OWN S/O’

♡ she feels horrible

♡ this close 👌 to calling the police on herself

♡ when you wake up, prepare to be bombarded with her apologies

♡ once you reassure that it’d fine bc it was just a lil peck on the cheek and she is your girlfriend after all, it brings her the slightest peace of mind

♡ so you peck her cheek while she is asleep to call it evens and that basically fixes it

♡ but anyway, she is so careful around you when you sleep - like she will literally do the most just to ensure that she doesn’t interrupt your REM sleep

♡ however, that can lead to extremely sticky situations - like the first time you ever fell asleep around her

♥　♡　♥　♡　♥　♡　♥

You were on the 5th movie of your barbie movie marathon when she looked over and noticed you had fallen asleep half way through, so she immediately paused it so the noise wouldn’t wake you up. This was the first time she had ever seen you sleep and she felt somewhat flattered that you felt safe enough around her to be vulnerable - even though, yachi never really considered herself to be a rather daunting or intimidating person.

she couldn’t help but just sit and admire you for a few minutes before realising that she should probably transport you to somewhere more comfortable as you were currently sitting next to her on the pink beanbag in her room. and although it was kinda comfy, the preferable alternative - her bed - was only a few feet away.

so she knew what she had to do.

she hopped to her feet and before she did anything too hasty, she stretched to ensure that she wouldn’t pull a muscle while doing what she was about to try. she inhaled deeply before crouching down - instead of bending over as she remembered what coach ukai had told her, ‘lift with your legs!’ - then snaking her arms under your torso and knees.

then, she sprung back up and immediately rushed over to the bed as even though you weren’t too heavy, she was afraid that if she held you for too long, you’d wake up. so once she reach the foot of her bed, she tossed you on so your neck was being supported by her soft pillow and yanked her duvet over you.

she gazed lovingly down at your cozy figure laying on her bed and she couldn’t help but smile.

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aching-tummies · 5 years

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Late Night Hunger

This happened a few nights ago.

It was late, like...3AM late. I was still up 'cuz the problem with staying with family is that you don't really get your own 'me-time'. Wanna write fanfic? It takes about 2-4 hours to write and edit a short one-shot...not gonna have 2-4 hours to myself if family is awake. Someone's gonna come by and decide "you're not doing anything important--go cut up some onions for me" or "You're not busy--go weed the yard"--you get the idea. I usually power through exhaustion/heavy eyes to squeeze in 2-3 hours of 'me-time' after family goes to bed...so I'm usually up until 4AM writing fics or doing whatever.

An unfortunate consequence of this stolen 'me-time' is hunger. I'm tired and ready for bed, but dinner was more than 7 hours ago and my stomach's not going to stop rumbling or cramping until it gets something. 3AM--I've already done the whole teeth-brushing routine and don't want to mess that up...also, food is downstairs and is likely to make noise to procure...and I don't want judgemental family sneering about my eating habits or weight or whatever if they overhear or if they find the evidence in the morning.

My options are either to find something quick and quiet to fill my stomach with, chug water, or try to ignore it and hope I'll be able to fall asleep soon.

I'm ashamed to admit that I've gotten fairly good at slipping down to the kitchen and preparing stuff undetected. I've also learned how to hide the evidence (e.g. empty plates, packaging) so that family is none-the-wiser. Hey, I was the one that bought those pizza pockets and I'll eat them whenever I please! The drawbacks to this are obviously having to hide the evidence, including the smell if your food of choice is something like instant noodles, which fill the whole house with their scent. There's also the fact that people tend to over-do it when they're hungry and I could end up being up all night with a case of indigestion rather than hunger (generally, I think hunger is the lesser of the two evils). Or there's the chance that despite it being the one to gripe for sustenance, stomach will decide, "whoa! It's 4AM. I wasn't serious. I was gearing down to shut up and sleep for a few hours too...you want me to work now!? Nuh-uh--not gonna. Enjoy all this instant-garbage stewing in your tummy for the night--I'll work on the aftermath in about 6 hours." Of course, the bacteria in one's tummy are gonna make a HUGE mess of the stuff if it's left to ferment in one's stomach for more than an hour.

I've tried the "chug a bunch of water" method with mixed results. If I'm not too hungry, it usually is enough to lull me to sleep. If I'm starving, it amplifies the growls and my guts become way more active and angry that I tried to trick them. The water also does something to the hollow ache of hunger. It's hard to describe, but completely empty it's sore...hungry and waterlogged it's still sore and queasy...but it's like that weird weightless feeling you get when you're falling or doing 'starfish' while swimming. That feeling of your guts swirling around inside of you...then again, with that much water in them, I guess it's actually swirling in me and it's not just some phantom feeling?

Currently thinking I'd want a partner that rubs my tummy, calling it on the bluff of, "yeah, you're hungry...but if we feed you you're gonna decide to shut down and sleep for the night and then we're going to have a major upset stomach on our hands first thing in the morning", rather than someone that decides to feed me. I just wanna sleep. I don't want to wake up with a tummy ache from whatever stomach decided not to work on overnight. I wonder if things like belly-warmers or something would work, keeping pressure on my tummy while I try to sleep through the rumbles and hunger pangs.

I’d totally planned to go to bed early tonight--as in, 9PM early. Long day ahead tomorrow and I’ve been dealing with anxiety over work-schedules that glitched on their way to me...so I don’t know if I’m working tomorrow or when or whatever. Stressing over that caused me to be up late and with nothing else to occupy my time, I turned to my kink-blog and found some lovely send-anons responses as a distraction. Welp...it’s late and I’m getting hungry again. What to do...what to do?

#personal #tummy kink #stomach ache #hunger kink #hungry tummy

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ticklishhpickle · 7 years

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Perfect

Aghhh this is my first fanfiction, if anyone actually reads this, please enjoy!

Word count: 1800

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dan sat in his sofa crease furiously typing on his laptop. He needed to finish writing the script for his new video, film and edit it by tonight. Why do I do this to myself? He thought. I’m a fucking piece of trash. I’m literally the human embodiment of procrastination, jesus fucking christ the video’s not going to be done on time and I’ll be disappointing my viewers agai-

“Dan stop stressing so hard, it’s okay! Surely the Phans can wait another day for your video.” his train of thought was cut short by his flatmate’s soothing voice. A sympathetic smile graced his pink lips, his arms crossed against his pokemon pyjama shirt.

“No Phil you don’t understand I do this every time, I had all week to finish the video and now you’ve just wasted even more of my time, like you haven’t done enough of that already for the past five years.” Dan replied hotly. Shit. He knew he took it too far this time, but it was for the best. Anything done with Phil could never be a waste of time. He mentally slapped himself, he was sure he told his almost definitely unrequited feelings for Phil to go fuck off in a ditch, and to never come back. He knew he had been snappy with Phil lately, mostly due to his internal struggles with his stupid little crush on the black-haired boy that refused to go away.

Dan didn’t notice Phil’s face fall upon hearing his harsh words. “You don’t mean that. I’m going to leave you to do this, let me know if you need anything.” Phil’s words were soft and kind, just like the man who spoke them. Why did he have to be so.. so nice? Couldn’t he be anyone else and retaliate to the shit Dan just spurted at him? But no, he had to be perfect, sweet and logical Phil Lester. He was not making it any easier on Dan to fall out of love with him.

Dan could no longer concentrate on his video script- the guilt had hit him hard. But this was for the best. Perhaps if he was meaner to Phil, they would slowly drift apart and not be joined at the hip by their previously established unbreakable bond. Surely this would help Dan get over him, he reasoned. After years of relentless pining Dan finally put his foot down and made a plan to distance himself from the closest person to him, his best friend, his long time collaborator and flatmate. The distancing wasn’t necessarily working, per se as they lived in the same flat, shared nearly the exact same lives and with Phil always roping Dan into doing everything with him, they didn’t get much time apart. It was torturous bliss. On one hand, every second spent with Phil made him feel light and free, but whenever the truth of the matter, that Phil almost certainly would move out eventually and start a new life with some beautiful girl, hit him he felt heavy and crushed. The blue-eyed man was so damn oblivious to the effect he had on him. Dan was at the same time grateful yet so incapacitated for Phil’s failure to see something that was staring him right in the face. For heaven’s sake Dan pretty much swooned whenever Phil so much as brushed his fingers against his, by accident of course. Or mindlessly fiddled with his own fringe, making sure it was perfect (it always was). Phil was an idiot in this sense, but Dan was a buffoon.

They didn’t speak until the next evening, just after Dan finally uploaded his new video. It’s not like he didn’t want to talk to Phil, he always did, but the video was a great excuse not to talk to him and to hopefully speed up the murder of his inconvenient- to say the least- feelings.

“You did a really great job, Dan. The thumbnail is hilarious.” Dan’s stomach fluttered. He had actually put a lot of effort into creating an entire picture of the beach with every component made of his own face. He was particularly proud of his Dan-faced sun, a structure extremely reminiscent of the Teletubbies. Play it cool, Dan. Say something that makes it seem like your stomach doesn’t do a fucking gymnastics routine whenever he gives you the slightest compliment.

“Ah it was no big deal, only took me an hour to photoshop myself into a low budget version of the Teletubbies sun.” Dan internally cheered when he got through the sentence without stuttering or blushing (for the most part). “Well it was definitely worth it, it seriously looks great and the whole video is so well put together, Dan.” Dan opened his mouth to respond, when Phil continued, “So now that you’re done with making that masterpiece, do you want to maybe… watch some anime with me?” Phil looked so nervous and adorable, like a little puppy, his blue eyes looking hopefully at Dan.

Say no, say no, anime means spending more time with him, which means more pain in the long run. Dan pondered on this instinctual response for a second, before promptly telling his brain to shut the fuck up and let him enjoy just one night with his best friend.

“I’d like that.”

“OH MY GOD THAT IS THE MOST DRAMATIC THING I HAVE EVER SEEN A POTATO CHIP INVOLVED IN… EVER!!!” Phil bellowed out between shocks of laughter.

“First I take the chip… and then I EAT IT!” Dan imitated the anime character, grabbing a potato chip from the bag wedged in between him and Phil, and shoving it in his mouth for dramatic effect. This triggered another fit of uncontrollable laughter between the two men, that anyone would think they were drunk off their asses. They weren’t, they were just drunk off spending time with their favourite person.

When the laughter finally died down, Phil spoke up. “I’ve missed this Dan. I miss you.” Dan sobered up from the remnants of his laughter-induced drunk state. He knew this was Phil’s subtle way of asking why he had been so distant lately, while allowing Dan to not answer if he wasn’t comfortable. Again, why was Phil so considerate?

Dan considered his options in his head. Firstly, he could ignore the unspoken question and just say I miss you too Phil. But that would be unfair on Phil, surely he deserved to know why his best friend was drifting away after 5 years of friendship. But that left the alternative, of telling Phil how he felt, the very thing Dan had been avoiding for 5 years. Dan looked into Phil’s expectant blue eyes, and his heart ached. Phil deserved so much better than what Dan was treating him, and at the very least an explanation.

“Okay, Phil I’m going to tell you something that I’ve been wanting-no, needing to say for a long time. I know I’ve been so distant from you recently, and there’s a reason for that. You are my most favourite person in the universe, and I’m so lucky that I even have you as a friend. You’re truly amazing Phil.” Phil’s entire face lit up. “But back to the reason for my behaviour lately, yes I’ve been moody and snappy and basically just a dick for the past few weeks, months even and it’s nothing you’ve done. It’s all me.” Dan took a big gulp of air. This was it. “Remember that first night I stayed over and we stayed up until 4am just talking and laughing and sharing stories about our lives?” Phil’s eyes softened and he nodded, he was clearly very fond of the memory too. “That’s when I realised I was falling in proper love with you, and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. And at first I hoped, I prayed that it would go away but the truth is it’s just gotten worse, and so what I’m saying is I’m in love with you Phil, and I know you don’t feel the same way which is why I thought it would be for the best to distance myself from you, so that my stupid feelings would die. But it hasn’t done anything, it’s just upset both of us and God, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Dan didn’t realise his hands were shaking until someone else’s warm pair reached out to steady them. “Dan, you are literally the biggest idiot alive right now.” What the fuck? Dan had just spilled the entire contents of his inner cocktail of turmoil and torturous feelings out, only to be responded to with this? He knew his feelings were stupid and Phil didn’t love him back.. but he didn’t need to be so harsh. Dan’s eyes began to well up and immediately he looked down, avoiding Phil’s gaze.

“Why do you think I haven’t dated anyone since we met? Why do you think I barely spend time with anyone but you? Why do you think, despite being almost 30 I choose to keep living with you? Dan, I’m in love with you too. I always have been.”

Dan’s heart dropped then soared in the matter of two seconds. “You do? Are you serious right now? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better are you, Phil?” He prayed his ears weren’t betraying him.

“Oh Dan, how could I not love you? You’re perfect. I didn’t say anything either for the same reason, I thought you would never love me back.” His pale fingers reached up to cup Dan’s face. His eyes very obviously flickered down to his lips.

“May I?”

Dan swore his brain and heart were malfunctioning, this was too much for them to handle. It was a miracle he made out a choked, “Y-yes.”

Phil closed the small gap between their lips immediately. His lips were soft and warm, just like Dan had imagined so many times. But this was real, so real he could smell the aftershave on Phil he loved so much, so real he could taste the sweetness of Phil on his own lips. It felt like a dream.

When they finally broke apart for air, Dan cut the silence with a typical sarcastic remark. “I mean, so I guess we should be boyfriends now. Like not that I care or anything just thought you might want to.” Phil rolled his eyes at him before pulling him close, “I guess we should.”

Later that night Phil held his boyfriend close, kissing the top of his head before drifting off to sleep. “You may be a low budget Teletubbies sun, but you are my low budget Teletubbies sun.” Dan snorted, before snuggling even further into his boyfriend’s warm chest.

#phan #phanfiction #phanfic fluff #fluff #friends to lovers #getting together #amazingphil #danielhowell #oneshot #fanfiction

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johngarrisonmusic · 7 years

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Tour Diary Part 2

Arrive at JFK fully expecting a thorough, Trump era inspection and interrogation. However, I breeze through immigration and even have a nice conversation with Errol, my inspector. Although his authority muscle was flexed a little when questioned what music I was playing. “I play bass for James Blunt” I reply. “Who?” he says “That’s Showbiz” I quip……..!!!! An icy stare falls onto the once happy face of Errol. “I only like rap” are his final words as he stamps my passport and shouts “Next”

June 26

3 hours sleep. 4am lobby call. It’s Good Morning America live performance today of “OK”, Blunt’s new single here in the States. This track is quite personal for me as they are releasing a version of the track that I remixed along with James, as the main version to radio here in the States. You need to have many strings to the bow to make a living in music these days. We’re all in a daze as we check our hire gear. God knows what time our crew arrived but all the gear is set up and ready to go. Writing this a few days later and I can’t remember much about the performance but the label and management all seemed happy. I think. Or maybe I dreamt that…!!!

youtube

Jet lag and the general buzz of being in New York means an attempted snooze doesn’t happen. So Pembers (keys), Kristoff (drums) and I go for a power walk around Central Park. Gotta take the opportunities to stay in shape on the road. Something I’ve learned over the years. And failed at mostly..!!! Central Park is such a wonderful place. It never fails to impress. A perfect way to pass a few hours off. Days like this I feel very privileged to be doing what I do.

We then head off to another TV studio to perform on the Seth Myers Show. The studio is bloody freezing. It’s always the way with US TV shows. God knows why. There must be a reason. No idea what that is though. But it’s full jacket wearing performance for this show. Which is odd as it’s 27oC outside. A planned big night out in NYC is thwarted by jetlag that eventually kicks in too hard to ignore. Early night for us boring folk. How very un rock n roll…!!!

June 27

5am wake up. Not for any particular reason. Just jetlag. But that’s ok in NYC. I go out and wander the streets for 4 hours interspersed with coffee breaks. I still love this city. I lived here for 2 years back in 2006/7. It still feels like home. There’s an energy that emanates through the floor here. You can feel it coming out the walls of the buildings and skyscrapers. Everyone is here for a reason. There is a focus here that brings out the creative side in everyone who has one. I still love it and today I soak it up.

We are performing on Kelly and Ryan TV show today. Another freezing studio. A trailer filled with farmyard animals is parked right outside our dressing room. The odd ‘Moooo” and Baaahaaaa” interrupting James’ vocal warm up are highly amusing breaks to the tedious boredom of TV world. Still no idea why they were there as they never appeared on the show…!! Slightly gutted that the very cute Kelly is on holiday. It’s always a treat for the eyes playing on her show.

The boredom is abruptly shattered when we are told we have to lose 30 seconds of the track. We have already soundchecked so it’s a strategic edit arranged, board meeting style, around the table with no way of checking. Times like this we are thankful we are a fully live band with no backing track. We visually cue the changes live on air while being broadcast to millions. It’s times like this you know you are alive. It works. No time to stress or panic. We nail it. 3 mins dead. Everyone is happy. And we are done for the day. With nothing but a fight tomorrow, there is a palpable air of excitement amongst the band.

We head downtown to my favourite Italian restaurant in NYC called Emilio’s Ballato. It’s an old school mafia style Italian that I was introduced to when I lived here. Emilio is a terrifying, yet lovable character who sits at the door. Always does. Has done for decades. You only have to imagine a mafia style Italian restaurant owner with a gravelly voice who has to occasionally pop out to “take care of business” to know what he looks like. The mental picture you have now……. That’s Emilio. The first time I came here, Sting was sat at the first table with Jay Z and Rhianna. It’s that kinda place. Emilio Jnr takes us to a table and explains the menu in his “baddabing” way. It’s so cliché one or 2 of our party suspect it’s all a show. But I know for a fact it is not. The family back in Sicily send over the ingredients twice a week. All 3 of Emilio’s sons work at the place. It’s the real deal. And it’s awesome.

Tonight we are all on the guest list of the Imelda May gig at Webster Hall. Pembers, our keyboard player, is Imelda’s player too. He depped out the last 2 Imelda gigs as they clashed with the Blunt tour. But coincidence means we are all here in NYC. The band are amazing and Imelda’s voice soars in this place. A great old school sweaty gig. We hang out with the band at an Irish bar around the corner after the show. God knows what time we finished but it was a long hazy walk back to the hotel.

Goodbye NYC

June 28

Flight to Kansas today. We arrive to find they have not sent the mini bus that we asked for, but a car….!!! For 12 of us. So we squeeze in 3 cars with gear and bags on our laps. It’s not all glamour…!!

June 29 It’s the first day of our Ed Sheeran support today. Kansas City the first show. Still jetlagged. I’m up and wide awake at 5am. I decide to check out Kansas. I set off on a head clearing 90 minute walk. In the space of a few minutes, the sky turns apocalyptic black and I’m suddenly in the middle of an almighty downpour and a violent thunder storm. Flash floods come hurtling down the street. It’s actually pretty scary. But awesome too. Mother nature flexing her muscle and reminding us how insignificant we all are. Trash cans hurtling down the street. I run back to the hotel and watch the storm from the safety of my hotel window.

A post shared by JohnnyVic (@satellites_johnnyvic) on Jun 29, 2017 at 5:38am PDT

The tour bus pulls up outside our hotel. Always a hugely exciting moment. There’s something about American tour buses. It’s probably subconsciously linked to the childhood dream of touring the States that most musicians had at some point. But also just how cool the busses look. This is home for the next 2 months.

We get to the venue. The Sprint Arena. Sold Out 16,000. We meet Ed and all the crew. They are all super nice and friendly which is a welcome relief. It’s not always the case. The support act can occasionally be treated as a lesser entity. But not here. I think the fact James is such a big name in his own right helps. And the fact James and Ed are friends. Ed co-wrote some of the tracks on James’ new album and we even recorded one of them at Ed’s house earlier in the year.

We soundcheck the whole set. It feels a bit weird. Ed does his thing with just an acoustic guitar and a loop pedal. And rarely sound checks. So seeing all our full band gear on his stage feels a little intrusive on his minimal set. But again, Ed’s crew are all super helpful and asking if we need anything. We iron out a few issues from the rehearsals and drop a song as we creep over our allocated 40 mins.

My Bass Set up.

James and I then play a quick 3 song set unamplified on acoustic guitars for 25 competition winners. We haven’t worked out the songs before on acoustics so it’s very much on the fly. But they all seem thrilled.

Ed pops in to wish us luck as we all do our vocal warm ups. We go on.

It’s a younger crowd than we are used to. It’s quite clear pretty early on that a few of them have no idea who James is. I guess it is 12 years since his debut album was no.1 here in the States. But rather sweetly, you can see a lot of the crowd are holding their phones with the lyrics on and are attempting to sing along. So cute.

James announces “most of you were probably conceived to this song” as he strikes up the opening chords to the world wide smash that is “You’re Beautiful”. You can see the penny drop in the audience. And in a scene reminiscent of an 80’s style cheesy high school movie, the crowd slowly all get to their feet and whoop, with fists in the air as they all realise ‘it’s that guy’. It’s an amazing moment. And from that point on it’s an amazing show. James gets all the 16,000 to their feet as he piano surfs during the outro of our set.

We all come off and have a post gig huddle. It’s a success. There’s always a slight element of doubt before a support gig. But those doubts are put to bed tonight. Ed pops in before his set and pours us all a mandatory Tequila.

Ed hits the stage to an ear splitting shrill of 16,000 very excited people. It’s an amazing spectacle. Just a man and a guitar with a loop pedal. He is a master of his craft. Everyone is on their feet. From the hardcore fans at the front to the reluctant parents on the very back row, Ed has them all in the palm of his hand. With just the occasional look down at his loop pedal multi track set up, the accompaniments he makes on the fly with his voice and beating the guitar body for percussion, it’s seamless. And mighty impressive.

#ed sheeran #james blunt #nyc #kansas #johnnyvic #john garrison

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conflictedrabbit · 7 years

Text

2* the AvPD

Conversation w/ my friend I mentioned earlier. With their name / identifying characteristics edited out and some chopping here and there.

___:

I made a post abt avod once tho and it got like A few rbs and I thought "if this isn't irony idk what is" Trje

66ccff: ekjal;kdjd;

___:

me: why do, so many avoidants want to pay for being alive avpd Tumblr: hm . I relate

66ccff: ekleja;ejdl;k

___: me: I'm glad to know people relate but are we fucking ok

66ccff:

LOL i mean mood tbh

___: HINESTLT like I noticed i do it cuz of you NFBNSBDKSBDKSS

66ccff: though do you mean pay as in like. pay the medical system or pay as in guilt

___: Guilt

66ccff:

kejk;ldj;L yes ok that is definitely me me: i breathed 5 gallons of air within 3 hours i am so sorry world

___:

me: [realizes it's not entirely religious trauma and also probably just Guilt over taking up space and needing to help ppl otherwise Why Live?}

Oh god me

66ccff: (this is not even ironic i get like this multiple times a week)

___:

hdjhdjsd I've been having a bad ep lately actually and like I think I failed to look 5-6 people in the eyes today CUZ IM JUST [WALKS AROHND] WOW . TERRIBLE

66ccff:

omg it's ok i nearly cried in class today b/c i didn't have a good eng translation for this jp sentence

i was like.... no.... don't....

i stabilized cuz the teacher went on a tangent for a second but like forcing myself to look in his eyes and act normal was so hard i looked away so many times i wa slike. oog my god. end m i love it when walking around where there's other people makes me really nervous and irritable agoraphobia is great!

___:

GOD yea It's so awkward for me I'm fine if I have a safe person or I'm walking to class but like

66ccff: i came back from class today and took a 6 hr nap cuz of my shame and agoraphobia

___:

Rip Wish I could do that...

66ccff: well i haven't done my homework so

___:

I just. Cry a lot NDKSJDJDNSKDNS rip me: I'm strong Me: spent the last 5 days like crying over nothing

66ccff:

dkjle;ajd i mean... i used to cry but then i got mad at myself for crying so now i just Repress (tm) and sleep and then. the joke is that sometimes it doesn't work self harms... oops... that didn't work either better nap again

___:

zz Pillows keep u safe Idk what I've been doing lately but I thought I was getting better til I realized I was like Abstaining from feeding myself BFBJSBFSJJFD

66ccff: o h my god

___:

And I was like "oh fuck I'm a terrible person bc someone told me I should eat and j Didn't Do It I Failed Them"

66ccff:

ahahahahaahahaha i thought i was getting better too but it was actually because i was just forcing myself to study to give myself an illusion of doing my part and then i went to school and my actual performance is like bad b/c i avoid so many activities that would make me better and i just

___: samd

66ccff:

Wow i want to die!

___:

hdjsjdjs

I think I only managed to eat cuz my brother was expecting me to

66ccff: tavpdfw you want to be punished constantly so you don't have to have anxiety about existing

___:

Cuz he bought me dinner like 6 hours ago but I didn't touch it til now BFJDJD MEEEEE

66ccff: dkja;eljd;

___:

GOD me: ah I feel good today Me like 3 hours later: oh my God I shouldn't feel good abt myself that's so Selfish ? I am trash

66ccff: oh Mood

___: Avpd solidarity

66ccff:

honestly i love my environmental soicology class but liek it talks about how we're all consuming and putting things back into the environment

___: Idk how I manage to have avpd and __pd but that's how it is on ths bitch of an earth

66ccff: and i was literally contemplating if death was the only way to take myself out from the cycle

___:

Me Bhhjsfjd

66ccff:

i was like holy shit. it's not just consumption i forgot i also put bad gases into the air with everything i breathe i am Bad

___:

All day today I was hearing abt what happened in Vegas and we were like. Talking in my apologetics class abt the Nature of Evil

66ccff: the true environmentalist take is death

___: And I was just thinking "why must I, exist if all I am is bad"

66ccff:

oh my god same! i looked over my abt page and i was like this looks fake tumblerina

___:

apologetics: so mankind is basically evil Me: great! I'll die so there's less evil in the world

66ccff:

me ME

MEMEMMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEME

___: HHDHSBDJSHD

66ccff:

sometimes i have fantasies of like going backwards and apologizing to everyone i've ever talked to and to everyone who ever had to work to produce what i've consumed

___:

M. E

66ccff:

and then hoping that they forget about me and then like disappearing forever i jsut can't see how some people can be like oh yeah factories in china and mexico earn less than 2 dollars an hour to make our stuff and not jus twant to kill themselves

___:

I'm just pathetic and compulsive if I feel bad about stuff I apologize til like 2 weeks after God. Yea

66ccff:

the joke is that people hate if you overapologize so you jsut damned if you do damned if you dont :upside_down:

___:

me: uh sorry for being sad People: don't apologize for that Me: Avpd:. They are mad that I am apologizing also that I am sad Hhhfjjejd

Me:

ME WKJD;LKD "can you stop saying sorry" "sorry"

___:

me: oh God I'm so miserable Someone: oh im sorry Me: I wish I could accept this but Pity is too much for a lowly worm like me

66ccff: "what did i just say"

___: MMSNDNBHHHHHHGGGGG

66ccff:

:smile: :gun:

MOOD

___: avpd feel when you don't deserve to be pitied ?

66ccff: pity is too much kindness ___:

God yea

LIKE probably just a conflicted feel but I prefer ppl being active than pitying me but then I'm like

"that's selfish I don't deserve that ?"

66ccff:

someone tells you to watch where you're going feel like you're unable to go outside for the rest of the day

___:

m. mebdbdhdhdjs

66ccff: oh yeah the joke is that i want people to like. be kind to me but also i don't

___: hell brain

66ccff: so i can't say what i want

___: GGG YEAH

66ccff:

be kind to me except don't because i'll feel invalid either way so maybe just don't talk to me >feels worse anyway

___:

Hhhhhhhhhhh me Me: talk to me ? But I don't know what to talk abt ? But I am also not good enough for pity you could just sit there maybe But then the presence of another person will overwhlem me and I'll go cry again/s

66ccff: feel free to entertain yourself, and forget about me, ___:

Mebdndmdkskdjsja god [looks at all cluster c disorders] you are all bitches and I hate tou

66ccff:

tavpdfw u gotta depersonalize to make it through the day of talking to other people and acting like ur a normal human bean MOOD

___: GOD yea

66ccff:

i have a question though if im depersonalizing why do i still feel terrible even if i feel ilke im fake smh

___: God me

66ccff:

me: i'm not real so heres me acting like i am chill and cool person that is interesting maybe or maybe not me, inside: this sucks and i hate this but im not real so it shouldnt affect me but damn i hate this when u feel separate from your auto-pilot but you still experience all the shame you would without it :thinking: avpd is stupid and contradictory and evolutionarily useless

___:

__pd isnkind of the same but like if you manage it well you can get stuff done but you still breakdown over the TINIEST DETAIL I hate it And I waste more time thinking abt what I'm gonna do and not actully DOING MT SHIT

66ccff: cripes

___: LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

66ccff:

me in high school UGH i'm ahving that problem right now dude in high school i used to just waste my days reading manga and thnking i should do my homeworka

___:

me: I'll spend this hour scheduling [2hours later] Me: [stressed nbdjdjjsjdjsjdks

66ccff: and then i'd like. start at 10pm and fuck myself over ___: rip 66ccff: have a crying session at 4am every time an essay is due the next day ___: I actually didn't do one of my assignments tonight 66ccff: bad coping habits ___: Rip me I got discouraged over something lame JFJSNFKSNFD 66ccff: oh mood

___:

relationship issues: occur Me: well, I can't, do anything ever again

66ccff:

i shouldn't even be discouraged abt my classes bc i'm here to learn and i'm just like. i know nothing i deserve to die kejd;kakejd friend, disagrees with you on something you feel unsure about: WELL I GUESS I AM BAD AND THEY HATE ME NOW time to ghost them

___:

me: [perceives someone not caring for me] me: and Now...what is Mine Purpose...what do I live for...my Friends....have all abandoned m MEEEEEE avpd sounds super dramatic when you separate it from yourself but like In the moment I'm always just [jdut starts Fucking Crying

66ccff:

i just want to manage to some kind of social work, give my wealth to some impoverished family, and then kms before 30

yeah my therapists in the past are like why... so soon

___: Jfjdjfjdf 66ccff: and i'm just like "why not i need to minimize all my ills on the world and also on the emotions of my family" ___: That reminds me of like. One of my mutuals talking abt how early he sleeps and he was just 66ccff: this is the optimal time look my life plan

___:

"why be awake longer than necessary"

Hdhdhfjsjfdjdjdband. I was just . Me

66ccff:

because you hate yourself too much sleep :^)

___:

God yea That's true. Me rn

I should've been asleep like an hour ago but [plays secret of Mana and then mopes]

66ccff:

dude i used to have bouts of insomnia b4 i got drugs that knock me out (and help me w/ anxiety) like.... i would lay awake and every second of being awake was just making the situation worse

___: I feel like I should get meds to balance out my bipolar eps but

66ccff: but then i couldn't sleep anyway so it was a damned situation ___: my parents r so anti meds 66ccff: rrghbh

___:

also like Internalized ableism That I don't Needthem and So Many people don't need them

66ccff: oh yeah, why do my essay when i can read an hour of garbage romo manga and feel slightly less bad during that time and then hate myself more

___:

So I Can do it cuz I'm like Everyone Else and not like Those "crazy" people Rifp

66ccff:

man i don't wanna encourage meds if your side effects r bad but honestly how did i get the fuck through high school other than triggering intense anxiety about all assignments

like... i was so nonfunctional i shouldn't have even been in school

.....

66ccff:

all accessibility problems are solvable humans are so bad

___: caring ? About others ? What a concept 66ccff: except sometimes they are good but that is definitely not me

___:

Ok I try to overcompensate w good to make up for inherent badness THANKS RELIGION

66ccff:

the US is like: here's a pricetag for your life pay up

___: AAAA

66ccff:

yeah i can see how christainity wouldn't help there w/ the "original sin" and stuff that doesn't quite exist in other abrahamic religions iirc judaism doesn't even have hell

___: it's really weird

66ccff:

i'm guessing its bc of jesus like.... y'all binches killed him so now this is life - christainity

___:

Like. Christianity makes the most sense to me probably cuz I grew up w it but fuck Man

66ccff: o yeah i grew up w/ some christianity too ___: It's FUCKED!!!!!! 66ccff: i actually have agoraphobia issues w/ going inside of churches ___: Oh same 66ccff: :^) ___: I'm actually fairly anti-church just because the current state of them is very bsd 66ccff: oh yeah

....

66ccff:

how can someone like me, who is literally not deserving of life, raise someone else

scrumbles

___:

Me Hdjehdsk

66ccff: ___ we are so fucked ___:

It's true Life is fucked We, are fucked

66ccff: existence is violence

#1-#2-#3-#4-#5-#a bloo bloo bloob #avpd #ok done editing tumblr posted it b4 i was ready but yea

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excaliburinthelakeonpage394 · 7 years

Text

WE FINALLY HAVE WIFI!!!

I am excited!!

We haven’t had proper, semi-decent (or even semi-reliable) wifi in over 6 months. Although we currently live on a farm...in the middle of bloody nowhere... so I guess we’ll see about ‘decent’ and ‘reliable’...

Quick update:

I’m sorry to say that between moving and exams and classes being cancelled (when we only had like 10 classes before our next huge exam anyway) and just everything shit that has happened in the last month, I’ve kinda fallen off the wagon a bit (which sucks cos I swear I only just got back on it). I’d planned to completely re-vamp (as well as add several more chapters) The Dragon In The Dungeon Told Me It Was My Destiny (which I swear I’m trying to find a better name for) and I want to add at least 2 chapters to But It’s Not In Vain (however, although I have those two chapters nearly entirely finished, I have 5 different versions and I cannot pick one). But all of my plans have fallen through recently.

I bit off more than I could chew, it would seem. I had gotten a truckload of editing done (and I mean I went back like 2 years and had a good several months of writing re-written and edited; god it was so cringeworthy) and then my laptop got accidentally unplugged and died so everything I hadn’t saved (which of course was more than I really care to admit... why don’t I just save stuff) disappeared when my laptop restarted itself. Thank god for the backup folder; but also curse it into oblivion because it only backs up so much (and of course I had 30+ tabs open so it didn’t get it all)

Um...I’m blabbing again, aren’t I? Sorry. Let me get to the point:

Firstly (with this gift of wifi) I need to Skpye with my boyfriend. We haven’t spoken properly in months; they sort of take precedence in my life right now

Then, of course, there’s this awful business with my insomnia: just when I thought it’d settled down, I find myself awake at 4am every day for the last week (the blame for the god-awfulness of this post, is that in the last 24 hours I’ve had over 17 cups of coffee, after not drinking it for nearly 2 months, 5 hours of sleep and two failed attempts at fixing my sleep schedule. I’m a little frazzled, so I apologize)

I need to binge watch something on Netflix - which will probably be tonight and it’ll probably be Merlin. (Because in my not so unbiased opinion; Merlin needs to be binge watched at least once a month and I’m several months behind)

I need to upload at least one thing - just because I feel I owe it to myself and my readers (it may simply be the sleep deprived drall I wrote this morning; Destiel, sad but also fluffy, future fic, about the fallout of love and romance for immortals)

I also need to scroll tumblr for at least three hours because I am seriously lacking in shit posts. (I’m suffering meme-withdrawal)

I have a little list of stuff to do in my notebook and I’ll get around to doing it all soon, I just need a little time and patience. More from the nagging voice in my head telling me I need to get some freaking work done, because having readers telling me to get off my ass and write/edit is actually motivational.

#I'm gonna shut up now #I am physically vibrating #I've had both too much and not enough coffee #we have nothing sweet #and I need sugar #it's ridiculous #Annnyway #C attempts to write #Writing #fanfiction #Ao3 #Merlin #Teen wolf #I need to learn when to stop #I'm seriously gonna shut up now #have a good night guys!

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