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savannahsdeath · 9 months

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SOCCER!ELLIE WILLIAMS X CHEERLEADER!READER

PART 2TWO

part 3three

part 1one

mdni please<3

summary: effects of the match seem simple - ellie either wins and gets what she wanted, or not. but even the score doesnt make things less complicated, as the past wont leave you

warnings: minors safe🩷

writers note: the start is shitty because i was writing it in a rush but it gets better after first goal i promise!! also this ones shorter because i had to stop right there cus i dont know wether to make it ellie x reader or change it to vi....

'that's right, put your pom-poms down

getting everybody fired up'

you were excited for the match. not only did it mean that ellie was going to try her best to win your kiss, but the stakes were higher than that. you'd been excited for the rematch between your team and vi's team - your ex's team - all year, and now the time had come.

soon, the match was about to start, and you and the other cheerleaders took your positions on the sideline to cheer for your team. ellie and other players took their positions on the field, looking confident as well.

you cheered, watching ellie play against vi. the match was close, and the score was tied for a while. then, ellie managed to score a goal, turning the score to 1-0 in favor of their team.

you cheered as loud as you could for ellie, feeling a bit torn between wanting your team to win and not wanting to see ellie get her reward so easily. but just like you, vi had also noticed the connection between the two of you, and had to do something about it - she had no intention of letting the flirting continue. as the leader of her team, she made sure that they were playing aggressively, and they managed to tie up the score again, making it 1-1.

you watched as vi celebrated her team's goal with her team's cheerleaders, and you frowned, not at all happy to see her happy.

first 45 minutes ended, making all players spread out. some drank water, some stretched or practiced, but most of them just rested. ellie walked into your direction before suddenly stopping and turning around. just then, vi appeared in front of you.

"we need to talk." she demanded and you knew you have no choice.

you followed her as she led you away from the field. the two of you walked silently for a bit, until she finally turned to you.

"i've noticed you flirting with ellie." she said, her expression dead serious.

you couldn't help but stare at vi, trying to process what she was saying.

"what makes you think that?" you asked.

"don't play dumb. i've seen the way you look at her." she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"what's the big deal anyway?" you inquired, trying to keep the conversation calm. you shrugged and added; "we broke up months ago."

"you're flirting with her right in front of me!" vi crossed her arms, glaring at you. "do your feelings towards me mean nothing to you anymore?" she asked.

you hestitated for a moment, not sure wether it's a good idea to bring this sensitive topic to the conversation. but you couldn't stand it anymore. "my feelings for you disappeared as soon as you cheated on me."

vi's eyes widened. she seemed genuinely surprised by your response - maybe she hadn't expected you to be so candid with her. "i never did. it would be different if you'd just- listen to me back there instead of believing what people say!"

you raised an eyebrow at the girl. "believe what people say?" you scoffed. "people don't just make something like that up."

you couldn't believe that she was actually trying to deny her betrayal.

"i don't want to hear it." you said, glaring at her. "i'm moving on, and you should too."

vi looked hurt. she clearly wasn't expecting such a bold response from you, and wasn't sure what to say.

"i should go." you said, turning to walk away.

"hey, wait a minute." vi exclaimed.

you defensively put your hands in the air. "no, that's it. the break ends soon, you should get ready." you nodded towards the field. "now, excuse me, i have to go cheer on ellie, so i don't miss her second goal." you said with a smirk.

vi rolled her eyes, so you could tell that you had hit a nerve. it wasn't necessary, but she deserved it. unless she wasn't lying...

you rolled your eyes back in retaliation, enjoying the little victory you had over her. you didn't even realize how intrigued you were by the match- no, by ellie, until this talk.

you didn't want to waste time chatting with vi, so you started walking towards the field. you saw ellie talking to her team on the field.

the second half of the match started, and the wave of cheers from the crowd got louder.

the last twenty minutes.

you watched as ellie started running towards the opposing team's goal, dribbling and dodging opponents with exceptional skill.

as ellie approached the goal, she noticed you in the crowd. she winked at you, and you couldn't help but grin back. as if she knew that she was going to score another goal, ellie took the shot, and it went in.

2-1 in favor of your team.

your ears were deafened by clapping, some people even stood up and jumped around. the game went on but ellie let herself rest for a moment, her players carrying the situation. even now, on her sweaty and tired face, you could see the same smirk she always has. she was proud, simply proud.

vi didn't like that, though. she saw the smile on ellie's face, and she knew that ellie was doing this for you. she kept yelling at her players, telling them to try harder.

soon, one of vi's teammates managed to push through your team's defense and scored a goal, making it 2-2.

vi smiled, looking right at you as she celebrated, encouraging her team to hold their position.

as the match neared its end, both teams tried their absolute best to score a third goal, but to no avail. time was running out quickly, and it seemed that the match would end in a tie.

you glanced over at ellie, watching as she ran back and forth on the field, sweating profusely and looking exhausted. she had given her all for the match and almost scored another goal, but it just wasn't enough.

the ref blew his whistle, as the match had officially ended.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW ARE YOU GUYS TEAM ELLIE OR TEAM VI??? i need yalls opinion🧎🏼‍♀️

TAGS: @wandasromanova @bellaramslover @aouiaa @glennns-blog @elliewilliamsfuckbuddy @iheartsadiesink @ximtiredx @coff1nn @jowdann @simpforellie @iveofficiallylostmymarbles @skylerwhitwyo @pinkigirl @islalips @ratdungeon @okayyesbutno and some more i cant tag for unknown reasons:(

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transhoverfish · 3 months

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OK SO IM LATE BUT. MORE SUB3 NEWS!!!

so a few days ago, krafton (their publisher), apparently had this like presentation of their plans over the next like 2 years. and during that they talked a bit about sub 3!

and this obviously creates a LOT of questions. not to worry, though, because unknown worlds added on to this:

im honestly not surprised by this. iirc, when below zero released they said it would be a WHILE before the next game, and they only announced this back in like... january? now, the first game's release was in january, and bz was in may, so it's definitely possible early access with be in spring of 2025. those games did not have multiplayer aspections tho! its possible we'll wait until mid 2025, and full release will likely not be until 2026. but who knows? the first game took like ten to be fully finished!!

and honestly. THANK GOD. i can't imagine any subnautica game having BATTLE PASSES or LOOT BOXES. i would have just straight up ignored this game 😭

i do wonder what these updates will entail! "many years to come" is definitely something interesting to me, because other than bug fixes... i dont remember sub or bz getting many updates post full release. is this referring to bug fixes, or is it implying that it will be in a state of early access for much longer? are they going to just keep adding new things (like the building update for sub1) and taking fandom suggestions? very interested!!

maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but i actually,,,, dont want multiplayer. now i do like bz, and these games arent really intended to be horror games, but also bz is very noticeablely less scary than sub1. and some of it i think definitely has to do with all the extra characters and dialogue. its hard to feel isolated when you know al-an and marg are nearby. so im very happy that it's optional, bc i know i will probably enjoy single player a lot more enjoyable!!

so now... SPECULATION.

so the first thing im curious about that the development team didnt mention:

"uncover the mysteries on an entirely new alien planet"

apprently we are NOT returning to 4546b. which im kind of sad about!! ik the story is very obviously done there, but it feels weird that its going to be some other planet this time around. THERE WONT BE PEEPERS!!!! (well there could be but it would be weird if some other random planet had the exact same lifeforms)

now my next immediate thought is: is this a direct continuation of below zero? my opinion is: no. probably not.

mostly because it mentions up to four players, and robin and alan are, if you look very closely, only two people. now they COULD just create two new characters to go alongside them (my fanfic brain loves the au idea of marg and ryley 🥺) but im just going to assume that with the addition of a new planet, we're going to drop the old storylines. which means no more degasi, sunbeam, aurora, or ayou sisters. we might move away from architects/precursors altogether! (my basis on this is absolutely nothing and i could be wrong, this is 100% just theorizing)

also, i imagine that it would be difficult to keep the plot the exact same with two established characters and then two new ones, depending on how this multiplayer aspect works. if its another crash, it would be a lot easier to just have the extra players die/survive, then try to work in a balancing act of one guy playing al-an.

(also i like keeping the ending of bz vauge. if they show up again, they would have to mention what happened to the rest of the architects, and i think it's much more fun if thats a mystery!)

((also also, im gonna drop a bomb on u all for a second. i actually,,, dont like al-an. i have a deeper connection to probably every single other character in bz. i think they really fumbled al's character and story and he is so incredibly bland to me. it feels like they go nowhere with how he was responsible for the kharra outbreak because the game ends immediately after he confesses! it would be nice to give him another chance, sure, but i personally dread the idea of even more al-an. sorry everyone for this horrible news))

HERE'S A CONCEPT IMAGE

i hope they bring back some cut content creatures for this!! i noticed this new area looks VERY similar to the safe shallows, and several of the fish seem to be variations of ones we've already seen (im already seeing bladderfish and hoopfish color pallettes, and the shark resmbles some early concept art for the shadow leviathan, but with the ice worm's colors...)

will there be more land areas?? is it going to entirely underwater?? more kharra?? NO DISEASE AT ALL?? AAAAAA!!!!

#so excited so excited SO EXCITED #sub 3 news #undescribed

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iamunabletothinkofablogname · 13 days

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Hey what's going on friend?

You want to talk about it?

/nf /genq

i keep getting bullied but today was especially bad it is a long story, but if your okay with listening, also eitherway thank you

first these dudes in my class kept making weird comments ['do you want to [-] me', 'does she know how to talk? Do i have to sign to you?', and meowing and making yippee noises at me] and similar shit,then the girl behind me kept kicking my chair and tugging at my keychain [alastor] even after i told her to stop and so i couldn't focus on anything, the teacher moved me from my spot [i dont have any friends at the school so i wasnt talking to anyone, but she was changing up the seating plan which was kind of annoying since my brain is so used to going and sitting on that exact spot and so my brain had to load it but i could deal with that honestly, its just the combination of this and other shit]. I kept hearing my name whispered around but i didnt know why or what since i have shitty hearing so it didnt hurt as much but still wasnt exactly fun Then when i went to the bathroom girls were kicking and punching at the door to get it to open and i had to just sit there silently until they went away, and when they went away they closed the lights and closed both doors [the toilet has 2/3 mini hallways since its the 'fancy' one], and so i had to spend most of break feeling around the walls to get out and find the light because it was one of my first times using the upstairs one. and of course this triggered a fucking panick attack because why wouldnt it and of course instead of being maybe a tad empathetic, they started laughing [maybe because of how i looked? idfk]. and then we went to the assembally [assembelly?] for some random ass speech by the principal which i couldnt hear because, again, people were tugging at my bag and after i pushed a girls hand away she started insulting me and my looks/personality and started fucking meowing at me, which her and her friends found 'hillarious' and then the bell rang and so i had to just ignore that and go to the pickup area, when i was there there were already some students talking to my youngest sister and insulting her bcus they knew she was my sister and she started crying which hurt more because she's 7 and she had no beef with them other than being my sister :I this all happened today and i had to just pretend nothing happened at home because my mum wont do anything and she certainly wont let me go back to my old school and sorry if this is a bit a lot /gen i am very overwhelmed right now

#ask #thank you and sorry #the-alakazam-attraction #by the way i can talk #and im not nonverbal #but at school im lowk mute and i dont fake facial expressions for random people #eitherway i havent told anyone at my school that im autistic and im not a furry?? [no hate btw i think they're neat]#<-do they think alastor is a furry?????????????#i doodle elfs so maybe they think the long ears are cat ears????#im just trying to find reasons but i might be stupid #also this took a lil long to respond cause had to eat and i typed too much

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thefatedthoughtofyou · 1 year

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Body Worship Steddie

Rating: EXPLICIT

Warnings: size difference, a bit of softdom!Steve if you squint, blow jobs, eddie has a small dick. So if you're not into that or dont agree with that or dont like it, please just scroll on past, i don't wanna argue. But in this house we believe in small dick supremacy. Peace and love. ✌🏻

THIS POST IS NOT FOR MINORS! IF YOU'RE NOT 18+ PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!

Tagging @grimmfitzz and @imsodonewiththissite (i know you dont go here really but here it is if you wanna give it a try! Haha!) Because y'all gave me courage!!! Hope you like it!

so eddie has a small dick. Steve's is like, normal, average. I dont know what average dick size is. Im gonna say like 5 inches? I wanna go with 4! Idk.

So yeah, he's been with eddie for awhile. And they've fooled around. And eddie has100% given him blow jobs at this point. But everytime steve tries to touch eddie he finds a way to get out of it. Either moving his hips away, or distracting steve with his tongue, steve is ashamed to say that that move had yet to fail, no matter how focused he thinks he is.

But eddie just, wont let steve touch his dick and its driving steve crazy. He's felt it exactly twice. Both times fleeting as eddie squirmed away from him. But my god does steve WANT. like, he felt how hard eddie was against his thigh, he knows what he felt. There's not much there. But steve literally does not care, he wants to touch him. Wants to make him feel good. Keeps fucking daydreaming about having Eddie's cock in his mouth.

But he doesn't wanna push eddie. Tries to take it slow. But then one night they're kissing and steve lays eddie back on his bed, tries to slot himself between Eddie's legs, to get them... somewhere!!! But eddie freezes so steve just groans and drops his head to Eddie's shoulder and is like,

"eddie please." And it's a fucking WHINE coming out of his mouth, he sounds so goddamn needy, and it makes Eddie's hands claw at his back and Eddie's basically panting at this point and is like,

"Im sorry. Im sorry i know- i just-" and steve looks at him and he's bright red and looks so embarrassed and steve refuses to let that stand so he cups Eddie's face, kisses him softly and uses the distraction to plant himself on top of eddie, pushing his knees between Eddie's and dropping himself there.

Eddie whines and slams his head back into the matress and steve just latches onto his neck before kissing up to his ear like,

"Dont be embarrassed. I don't care if your dick is small Eds. i just want it in my mouth." And Eddie's hips fucking grind up against him, but he shakes his head, turning away, his eyes squeezed shut so Steve stops. Because that's not normal 'turned on' Eddie. He slides his hand under Eddie's head, can feel wetness, Eddie's crying, Steve turns his head to look at him and says,

"I don't care Eddie. I want you. Is that not obvious yet?" His thumb soothing over his cheek. And Eddie shakes his head a bit, bites his lip and says,

"You say that now. But you'll change your mind. They all-" Eddie bites his lip again, sucks in air through his teeth as he sniffles. Steve frowns, he looks angry. Eddie tries to shrink away but Steve holds him still, presses closer.

"Fuck. Them. You think i haven't felt you? You think i don't know what's down here?" He moves then, fast but gentle, his hand moving down Eddie's side, and then between them, he cups Eddie in his hand and he bucks into Steve's touch with another whine.

"I've felt it. And i want it. Okay? Will you let me show you how much?" Steve moves his hand, presses his palm down just so.

Eddie's hands scramble over Steve's back until he's clawing at Steve's hips, his legs kicking against the sheets as he squirms, a mantra of "yes yes yes yes" falling from his lips as his eyes squeeze shut again. Steve smiles, kisses down his neck, then his chest, pressing kisses into the fabric of Eddie's shirt. And then he's sliding Eddie's pants down his legs, hooking his fingers into his boxers and pulling them down as well. And e

Eddie is on his elbows, looking down at Steve, his eyes huge, pupils blown, chest heaving, as Steve fucking stares at his cock like he wants to fucking eat it. And Steve's fucking mouth waters. He moves his palms up Eddie's thighs slowly, presses his fingertips into Eddie's hips before moving one hand back down.

His thumb grases the base of Eddie's dick and his hips jump again, Steve finally looks away from his dick, his eyes moving to Eddie's face, he tilts his head, asking for permission. Eddie nods quickly, his sweat damp hair sticking to his face, Steve smiles, presses a kiss to the inside of Eddie's knee, and then he moves his arm over Eddie's hips, presses him into the matress and finally, curls his fingers around Eddie's dick.

The tip just barely peaks out over his fist, and Steve is pressing the side of his palm down against the base too, as far as he can. The sight makes Steve's fucking mouth water even more and before Eddie is even a little used to the touch of his hand, Steve has his mouth on him. Eddie's cock fits in his mouth just so. So fucking perfect that steve moans around him and Eddie's hips buck up, even with Steve's arm holding him down.

The movement doesn't even come close to choking Steve and that just makes him hotter. He sucks, hard, hollowing his cheeks and humming around Eddie. Eddie gasping his name over and over, his hands in Steve's hair are the only warning Steve gets that Eddie is about to come. He groans as it hits his tongue, swallows it all and then keeps fucking going. Eddie tries to push him away, Steve pulls off of him, a string of spit and cum stretching between his lips and Eddie's cock, and Eddie makes the mistake of looking down at him at exactly that moment. His cheeks are flushed, and what Steve can see of his stomach where his shirts been shoved up is flushed too.

"Fuck. Steve." He's breathless. Steve climbs up his body, presses him into the matress and kisses him deeply, wants him to see how fucking good he tastes. Eddie whines, says Steve's name against his lips, Steve looks at him, his eyes are glassy, he's completely fucked out. Steve leans close, kisses his cheek and says,

"You're gonna give me one more."

Eddie immediately starts to shake his head, Steve grabs his chin firmly, makes Eddie look him in the eye.

"Yeah you are. One more for me Eds. You're doing so good. Bein such a good boy for me."

He whispers the words into Eddie's mouth, smiles when Eddie mumbles back,

"I can be good." And he's nodding now. Steve nods back, moves his thumb over Eddie lips and says,

"I know baby. You gonna give me one more?" Eddie nods again. Steve sinks down Eddie's body again, kissing as he goes, he bites at his hip, it drags a breathy laugh out of Eddie. And then he settles between Eddie's legs and looks at him, a smirk on his lips as he says,

"Maybe two."

Eddie opens his mouth to protest but what comes out is an obscene moan as Steve sucks his pretty little cock back into his mouth. Eddie's hands shoved up into his hair as his hips move in time with Steve's sucking, Eddie is so fucking good for him. Steve presses his hands to Eddie's thighs, digs his fingers in and fucking worships him with his mouth and his hands until Eddie can't fucking see, or hear, or speak anything but Steve's name over and over and over.

#Fates Endless Inkwell #FEI #steddie #steddie smut #eddie has a small dick #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve x eddie #my writing #mine #my fic #steddie blurb #steddie ficlet

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ariesbilly · 1 year

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What do you think about a deaf billy AU?

where Neil moved his family to the middle of nowhere Indiana because he knows 80s bumfuck nowhere doesn’t have a lot of support for disabled ppl and hates his son (as we all know)

At first billy tries to hide it, he had gotten used to learning how to read lips and make inferences on what people were saying, if he happened to miss something? He’d just brush it off, saying he wasn’t paying attention.

Billy might have a slight deaf voice, Neil probably came along with his “no son of mine” spiel so Billy had to learn how to speak as Neil thought was “normal”.

Steve begins to notice something different about Billy; slowed reaction time, really focusing on people’s faces, etc, and brings it up to Joyce.

Joyce, concerned, waits until the next time Billy is in her store to ask if everything is okay. Billy panics, he thought he was doing perfect, if he doesn’t his dads gonna kill him, so he very quickly excuses himself out of the store.

Maybe some further concerned Steve and Joyce? Teaming up to help out Billy? 🥹

i am into all of this. i wanna say way back in the early days of the fandom there was a deaf!billy fic i read.... or it was steve. or it was neither of them and im thinking of another fandom entirely lmfao anyway!

this would put their little staredown at tinas in a whole new context...honestly it puts a lot of billy scenes in new context that boy loves to look and watch and observe.

i would also like to bring in cali bros argilly and say that argyle and billy learned to sign together back home bc neil surely wasnt going to put billy in classes and surely not learn himself, maybe billy had teachers at school who helped? but argyle wanted to learn too since they were besties and he was really the only person billy could talk to after that. so when the hargroves move to indiana billys on his own again and since he doesnt want to out himself as being deaf and ask if anyone knows how to sign, he just pretends to be aloof and like he doesnt give a shit about what anyone says to him (which isnt like... untrue lol)

if he and max still have a bad relationship in this au maybe she hasnt bothered to learn how to sign either cuz like... why is she gonna need it to talk to billy? they dont talk period

steve calling billys name when hes not looking trying to get his attention and it never working so a lightbulb goes off in his head and he starts writing notes to see if that works and sure enough...

joyce picking up books from the library and learning very basic signs for the next time billy comes into the store. she's just trying to be polite but it still makes billy panicky that someone knows. ooooh if neil and billy come into the store one day and she overhears neil giving billy shit about not listening to him and how he needs to get his shit together etc etc and she immediately decides this man needs to be put down like she is not having it but she also knows theres not a whole lot she can do right now besides make her presence known and get him to back down.

steve helping billy out in the classes they share together and even in the classes they dont he finds a way to get notes from other people without letting them know its for billy, and billys constantly wondering how steve keeps pulling this off but steve wont reveal his secrets. them developing this silent language on the basketball court that makes them unbeatable... many thoughts many thoughts

idk how joyce and steve end up joining forces in all of this but i know they do!

#harringrove #billy hargrove #briana answers things

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redrydersrequiem · 1 year

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Reunited chapter 2

Previous chapter Next chapter

This is again for my own entertainment. I like to write even if im not the best at it. I like to use pictures and gifs in my stories it makes it more theatrical in my mind. I redo sentences and add stuff all the time cause I continuously reread my stuff and try to fix things. I hope everyone enjoys and i hope all of you have a good day. ❤️

Miles pov

Light blind my foggy eyes everything coming slowly into view when something big and blue takes up the most of my view

“Colonel, can you hear me?”. A blue savage is starring down at me and my first reaction is to punch the hell out of them.

Everything is jumbled as i dont know where i am or whats going on just that i have a hostile near me and i need to get the hell up out of here. More hostile show up all i can do is take swings at them as they try to grab me and hold me down. The first one from before is now infront of me again. While the others all hold me back.

“Hold him! Calm down colonel! Come on its me corporal wainfleet!

I finaly take a breath and focus on the face in front of me. Wait did that thing said he was corporal wainfleet. What. Squinting at the Navi in front i see it actually does look like Lyle but blue

“Lyle? Is it you?”

“Yes and Z-dog and Fig.” Lyle says gesturing to the two navis respectfully holding me.

I take a moment and collect myself

“Just let me go. I'm completely calm.” I can see they all slightly hesitate but do so anyway, still keeping their hand up just in case I start swinging again. But i don't care about them right now i'm looking down and finally notice my own two fists are no longer the tan skin I'm used to, instead they are blue. No it can’t be. I push Wainfleet aside and go toward the giant glass window in front of me. One of those savages stares back at me from the mirror. Hands moving the same as mine eyes blinking the same everything.

“Well ain’t this a bitch.” I say now realizing what has become of me.

After being checked out by the scientist I'm reunited with wainfleet and ordered to watch some video from my past or some shit like that.

“Attention two minutes until we hit the surface.”

I just ignore the soldier barking orders at me floating around trying to watch the video I've been told I have to. Once it starts my previous self shows up on the screen. All tan skin and gray hair. Tough guy military stance through and through

“ In case you were in doubt you are Colonel MIles Quaritch, just younger, taller, bluer and less pretty.”

I just huff at my former selfs gusto.

“In six hours I will attack the Navi fortress. It was thought advisable that I make this backup. Parker what the hell else do i need to say to this.”

“Just remind him how it works anything else you need him to know yada yada”

“ Freaking useless” I hear the former human say under his breath.

“Your memories and your personality are going to be sent back to earth where you are being cultivated just like the other lucky sobs of our team. You are a recombinant soul with my memories and my charm. You wont be able to remember my death because it won't happen.”

A chuckle occurs from over the humans shoulder, a female chuckle

“Miles are you guys just now doing your daily video logs cause if you are i'm gonna have to write you up.”

A woman appears behind miles, everyone else in the background looking sheepish until she fully enters the frame. She is gorgeous. Her smile breathtaking, making my heart pulse loudly a low pur coming from my blue chest.

“Hello there darlin. How’s the baby.?”

Baby? What baby? Is all i can think, attention directly on the video playing as my tail flags anxiously behind me. Stupid thing.

“Jr is fine he’s at his check up asleep waiting for the nurses to finish all the scans i thought i would check in on yall, what are you all doing all secretly up in here hmm”

“Nothing darlin, Parker just making us all catch up on our chores right guys. I hear yes and aye aye from the background”

“Well if you guys would just do what you're supposed to you wouldn’t get in trouble.”

“Your right darlin. Why are you in here though aren’t you tired.”

“I am but just because I had a baby doesn’t mean I can’t help out. The lab people are running around and I'm just making sure everyone is where they are supposed to be.”

“Well why don't you go back to our room and sleep darlin i'll make sure your job is all done ok and i'll pick up jr.”

“Miles, if I didn’t know any better I would say you're trying to get rid of me. Not at all mamas, I just want you and the little one to be all rested.

“Sure. Fine ill let you get back to your little video.”

The woman moves off my predecessor's lap but not before bending down to cup his face, planting a quick kiss on his lips. I notice a ring around her finger. So she wasn’t just a baby momma she actually meant something to him, to me. As she slips away the original faces back at the camera and measures it with a tight look

“That right there is something very important. She means the world remember that soldier with out her you ain’t got nothin. Now she doesn’t know whats about to go down. Or maybe she does i dont know, shes quicker than she looks. But remember she is to be protected. Whatever happens you as a clone have two objectives, the most important: take care of that beautiful thing you just saw. And secondly get revenge on the man who almost took her away Jake Sully. Remember that a marine can never be defeated. You can kill us but well just regroup in hell. Semper fi.”

“Ohrah” I hear Lyle say floating in front of me.

“Lyle, who was that?”

“Who was who, Colonel, the girl?

“Yeah”

“Oh that was y/n”.

“y/n” memories start flooding my mind I can hear her voice. Smell her scent. Feel her hands caress my face.

“She was important to me huh?”

“Yeah she was your fiancé. She was part of our team remember

“Yeah i think but i don't remember everything”

“It’s cool colonel give it a bit they said we'll get all our memories back in time”

“Wait you said she was part of our team right.”

“Yeah colonel she was a great field medic but also a great soldier”

“What happened to her?”

“I, I, actually don't know, I don't remember!, hey geeks were missing someone.” Lyle yells over to the scientist but before they can answer we hear the landing protocol go into effect. I guess we'll deal with this when we get to the ground.

After we get to the ground i half pay attention to what ever they yell at us. More focused on seeing my team and finding out what happened to y/n. I drop the subject for the Moment as i go over to the rest of my team to start our briefing

“Well lady’s we are definitely not in Kansas anymore. We’re on our way to pandora. I know you're all asking yourselves the same question: why so blue?”

Chuckles go around as the twelve sets of eyes focus on me.

“The sins of the past have made us reborn in the form of our enemies. We have their size, their strength and their speed, added to our training its a powerful cocktail”.

“We got a mission?”. Lopez asks from his set in the back

“We do. Our mission is to find and kill the leader of the Navi rebel army. They call him Toruk makto. We called him Jake sully.”

“But before we get to hunting I know you’ve all noticed we're missing a body here”.

“Yeah where is y/l/n.”

“I dont know yet zdarnski but trust me i'm going to find out so till then you all go about your business while i figure out mine.”

Lyle is at my six as we stalk through the base looking for the head a General Ardmore.

“Colonel there they are”, Lyle points over to a middle aged woman head bitch energy radiating from her. Emphasis on the bitch

“General Ardmore” i say standing at the ready in front of the small woman

“Nice to meet you, Colonel. I hear good things. But a lot has changed since you were last here. Come”

“She gestures walking through the bridehead”

“The new command center here has just been commissioned. The crowd fitters can erect a building in six days. We’ve done more here in one year than in the previous 30 years. No longer is our mission her to mine. It’s to tame. We are here to make pandora the new home of humanity. But before we can do that we have to pacify the savages, Sullys whims have become bolder and more frequent. His attacks are well executed. Good coordination between the troops. We only know that they are probably hiding out between the hallelujah mountains and we are still unable to flush them out. That is where your team will come in.”

“That’s all and well but I do have a pressing matter to deal with first.

“And what is that colonel?

“I seem to be missing an important member of my team.

“Ahh yes come with me”

She leads Lyle and i around to a lab looking sector. The ceilings were thankfully high enough we didn't have to crouch. It was just getting through doors that sucked. Taking sips of the co in my mask we come to a giant window, probably looking into a lab. The general presses a few buttons and the once dark glass now becomes clear. A Navi women who looked very much like y/n

“No.”

“Sorry general i know you had relations with this women when you where human is that correct”

“To my knowledge yes but none of the files said she had died.”

“Yes, well with what we found we were able to determine she died of blood loss during the battle of hometree. She and another soldier were both gunned down by the natives.”

My hands just clenched into fists as I continued to stare at the young women behind the glass.

“Since she was part of your unit and a capable soldier she was also made part of project phoenix. Although due to her health problems her backup was from a much earlier date then the rest of you. Like you all she went back to her twenty year old self with her memories being uploaded from the video logs she did before the battle. Like you all as well she doesn’t remember or know of her death. Unlike you though We had to take more liberties with some of her memories since she was very personable with the traitors during you time which is why i have a hard job for you colonel”

“And what would that be”

“I want you and your unit to keep a very close eye on Corporal y/l/n here to make sure she stays on mission. Got it”

“Understood general.”

“Good she should be woken up soon and the scientist think it would help for you to be there. They’ll contact you when they are ready till then im sure you both have other people to notify.

Your pov

Everything hurts. My body feels like I’ve never moved but over worked every muscle at the same time. My ears are ringing and my eyes sting. What is going on? Did I get sick overnight or something? Damn. I hear clapping and a few snaps next to my ears startling me, probably one of the others messing with me but I can’t bring myself to swat at the sound.

“Corporal can you hear us”

“Huh”

“Corporal i need you to open your eyes if you can

Wait am I in medical right now what happened?

“I slowly open my eyes, a bright light flowing into them

“Responses look good. Ok corporal y/l/n can you look at us please”

I finally turn my head and see a nurse. A tiny nurse. What the hell?I try to swing up quick but everyone goes on to try and calm me down, everyone is tiny looking and starting to freak me out. But suddenly blue flashes in my peripheral

“Darlin, I need you to calm down.”

Wait, that voice that's Miles, miles will help me. I quickly turn to look at the voice of the man I love when a male navi stares back at me. My jerk reaction is to push him away. Some unknown man staring at me while I feel like I've been drugged yeah that's a no go situation but the male grabs on hard to my arms. It’s not until I go to push again that I notice my arms aren't my arms

“Darlin, I need you to calm down and take a breath real quick, ok.”

I'm just frozen in shock

“ Quartich?”

“Yeah l/n it’s me”

I then turn and see the other avatar that tried to grab me looked familiar as well

“Wainfleet?”

“Hey sweet cheeks.”

Miles just growls out at Lyle and that when I know for sure it’s my miles that’s standing in front of me. The boys get me to calm down as the doctors now look me over. I myself am too busy staring in the Mirror at my new body to pay attention to anything they say. Wainfleet had taken up a spot along the wall in my view to give me some reassurance. While miles had gone off to speak with someone I just continued to stare. It was me that looked in the mirror but it wasn’t me that looked back.

After getting my bill of health, some fresh clothes and a run down on the co2 mask and where i have to use them. Miles and Lyle escort me to our new quarters. Entering everything is gigantic. It would probably be comical if any normal humans saw it.

“L/N” I hear called out loudly as a body comes crashing with mine.

It’s Z-dog with lopez and mansks not far behind her behind all the others also standing to come greet me

“Wow zdinarsk it you i'm so glad to see you again.”

I grab and hug z much to her jargon.(she’s not really a hugger) Lopez and Mansks also come over and pull me into a quick hug, everyone else nodding at me with a smile on their face.

“Look At you all. It’s kinda weird everyone being blue.”

“Don’t you know it” Hear ja call out from the back of the group

Everyone just laughing as miles and Lyle rejoin everyone now that i've been reintegrated

“Well would you look at that, the whole squad together again.” Lyle says tucking me and z in each arm squeezing us into his side. We both just exchange a glance before brushing him off onto the floor, everyone else laughing.

“That's enough ladies. I hear miles shout into the room”

“You all know you rooms we'll meet back here tomorrow morning o700 hours”

Roger colonel. Everyone just salutes and goes back to goofing around or going to their designated quarters. I kind of just stand there like a deer in headlights watching it all. Taking in everyone’s new faces and body’s. My family is back together again and right now that's all I can find it in me to care about.

The next couple of days are very tiring. Training to get back into shape and familiar with our new body’s strength and size. Miles is a constant by my side, us practically going right back to where we left off. But it feels like i'm forgetting something, something important, it's on the tip of my tongue but it wont come out.

I see Miles get particularly more on guard whenever the general comes around to visit, always throwing quick glances at me. I have to admit the woman rubs me the wrong way but I'm grateful to her and the rda for bringing me and my family back together again. But thats where my loyalties end. The others all go back into their roles in the group, no one really focusing on the past or what happened to them more inclined to stay in the present and think of the future. We’re finally given the go ahead to search the area, while i don't agree with trying to capture anyone i have no choice but to follow our orders to find a person called toruk makto.

We get into the Forrest everything is beautiful. I always thought pandora was beautiful but being able to experience it with out a mask is crazy. Walking under gigantic leafs i just take my hand up and spin under it filling its soft texture. Lyle laughs at my childishness but I can’t tell he thinks its cool out here judging by the look on his face when a bunch of helicopter lizards Kenten if i remember correctly start flying around us.

Miles stops and gives the order to fan out in the clearing. I see its an old shack. But why is it out here and why is it so familiar?.Before i can think more miles tells me to survey the surrounding area.While he and two others go survey the field I do as he says not wanting to question things in a possibly hostaile invironment

Miles pov

We make it the last known location of Jake sully. Not wanting to compromise y/n i have her survey the surrounding area as myself Lyle and zdog approach the old shack. Z and Lopez scope the shack as Lyle and i survey the ruins of an old amp suit.

Scrapping the moss off the side i see it was my old amp suit. There’s no body inside just the remnants of broken glass and a old arrow sticking through the seat.

“Lyle see what you can pull of this thing.”

I stand up taking a breath my eyes finding y/n looking at some plant growing on a tree. A smile wide on her face. It calms me to watch her be at peace.

“Here you go sir.” Lyle hands me a screen to watch the amp final moments

On the screen i see jake in his avatar form all dressed up for war.

But then i see y/n. Human y/n stumbling into the clearing and standing between us.

What the fuck are you doing there darlin. I say to my self my eyes still glued to the screen.

She’s trying to talk us both down. And i can tell by my former selfs body posture falling that whatever shes saying is working. That is until i hear her scream at something behind me. The angle turning quickly to be meet with the female savage jake had found. And a very familiar arrow coming straight toward me

The screen changes once more to y/n above me tears in her eyes and thats where it all stops

That bastard killed me. But wait y/n was there I thought the general said she was with another soldier when she was gunned down. I have so many questions im unable to process as a crunching noise comes from the brush off in the distance

Your pov

The old battle ground makes me unsteady like an impending dread that fills my heart

Miles and the others have all made sure I’m not really part of whatever they are doing I’m just perimeter surveillance I know miles is having the same issues I am but he’s pushing through

I see something white float through the sky. It's an Atokirina, it's beautiful almost like the seeds of a dandelion, It floats peacefully towards me. I hold out my palms as it grows closer and closer gently landing in my outstretched hands. Just as the seed setteles in my hand i hear yelling form the group behind me. I run back to the group gun ready to some face to face with Navi children being manhandled by the others

Hey wait they’re just kids. I try to get out but the others ignore me. I try again but the words stop when i see a human boy as well. Covered in blue strips with a mask on his face.

Miles pov

Three Navi children and a human are all captured in a second. I look over them all seeing they look somewhat like us. The young male has eyebrows and a very familiar looking face. Lyle points out that he thinks we have half breeds on our hands holding up the older girls hand to show five fingers. Now that got my attention

“Show me you hands kid” The kid just flips me off. Now i know there’s no doubt why the kid looks familiar. He looks like his father

“Your his”

I can hear y/n calling out to us to calm down and that they where just kids but I force myself to ignore her. It’s not till I go towards the youngest one that I see the human that was with them closely.

His hair is matted into dreads and he has blue stripes painted on him

He also looks familiar

“What’s your name kid?”

“Spider, spider l/n

“Miles?”

No one calls me that.”

Before I can say anything else I hear a sharp gasp from behind me. Y/n pushing through us to go towards the boy.

Your pov

“Wait your name is miles.” I say staring at the young boy. The longer I look the more the pain in my head and heart grow, I can feel myself starting to hyperventilate. The longer I stare into the child’s blue eyes. Eyes that reminded me oh so much of the man I love.

“But that's impossible the rda wouldn’t have left you here. They were supposed to take care of you” I can’t even make a complete thought as my hands gently try to reach out to the boy ghosting over his arms and face

The tears are blurring as the child just stares at me in shock

“Mom?”

“My baby” is all I can choke out before the ringing in my head turns up to a thousand

Spiders pov

The female is looking at me with tears in her eyes as she crouches down to be height level with me. It’s starting to freak me out but I can’t look away from her. Like there’s a string pulling my to go to her and giver her a hug but that’s stupid she obviously just another soldier just like quartich. But…..Wait it can’t be. The more I look at her the more familiar she becomes. She looks just like the photo I have. The slope of her nose and cheeks. The shape of her face and as she smiles at me is when it hits me

“Mom?”

Miles pov

I can tell she’s shocked seeing the kid. I know I should pull her back before something bad happens but my body won’t move my mind not wanting to take this from her. It’s not until she yells out that I finally move

“Y/n.” I just charge over to her grabbing and pulling her away from everything back into the opening field.

“Y/n,Y/n look at me what’s wrong “

“My head miles I.”

“Shh it’s ok just breath lyle come here”

Lyle bounds over and takes my silent command to look after y/n while I go and speak with spider

The sully kids pov

Why is that lady on the ground and what’s going on?, are all the kids can think as they continue to struggle against the people holding them. It’s not until they hear the words “my baby come”from her is that they realize the avatar in front of them was none other than the y/n l/n spider's mother. Come back from the grave just like quartich. It is impossible, wait till dad sees this. A broken yell breaks them out of their silent conversation as they see y/n no longer in front of spider but now on the ground clutching her head, Quartich and the bald one next to her. All of the others look at them and her with worry evident on their faces. She obviously means something to all of them

Miles pov

Taking in the surroundings I go and radio to the bridge head our location and how I need a pickup when getting a confirmation i walk back over to the sully boy.

“Ok kids here’s what’s going to happen you All are going to deliver a little message to you dad for me.” I slap a com link in the boys hand and stare him down

“Your daddy needs to give himself up while I’m still being nice. And if he doesn’t there’s going to be an all out manhunt for him and your family got it.

The kid just hisses at me.

“And to make sure you all deliver my message spider here is coming with us”

“What no let us go the older female screams”

All of the kids are struggling to protect their friend. I have to admit I was glad he had such loyal friends.Shaking my head a squashing those feelings down

“Let the kids go”

“What but sir “

“Just do it we need to leave”

The others toss the kids away from them guns raising to make sure none of the little shits attacked us while our backs were turned

Taking spider in hand I shove him towards Lyle. Exchanging the struggling teen for the hurt women. Holding y/n close as the chopper starts to come into view. The rain has started casting the clearing into darkness. My team continues to watch my back protecting me and y/n from the sully kids and the danger that may lurk behind them. It’s not till I hear a clear yipping sound call through the air and see the children all react to it. That I know he’s out there. Him and that she demon he married. The sound comes again and the children book it out of the clearing back into the safety of the trees. Ordering the team to load up and placing y/n in Mansks arms I decide to turn back surveying the trees. That’s when a shadow in one of the large trees catches my attention. It moves slightly as another one comes into view just below it.

“Jake!!!” I yell out. “I know you're out there sully. I hope with this I’ve gotten your attention. Tell you boy there to relay my message. I’ll be seeing you again real soon.” I hop into the chopper and we quickly make our ascent back towards the bridgehead.

Back at the bridgehead spider is taken to a holding room per the general's orders now while I don't agree I had more pressing matters on my hand.

Y/n looked exhausted, her eyes sunken and ears and tail twitching everywhere.

“Darlin how you feel?”.

“My head is killing me.”

“The science pukes said it would pass. Everything will be ok

“No, everything will not be miles. I'm so confused about what is going on. Why are we after Jake? I thought Jake was our friend

“Well that’s a long story. Here what's the last thing you remember.

“From when I was human.?”

I just nod tail flicking behind him worriedly

“I remember you proposing and I remember being assigned to help Jake and the science group, I remember having our son and being so happy. but after that nothing…. Now you tell me what am I missing.

“A lot happened darlin. While Jake was on our side he and the others decided to turn their backs on humanity. They…

“What do you mean turn their back on humanity Miles, you i both know the rda didn’t and still doesn’t care about the Navi. What every they did they were probably in the right.

“How does killing everyone we love as a family make them right.

“They were protecting themselves and their homes just like we would do if the roles were reversed. This is all once again the RDAs fault.

“Darlin you and I both know we owe everything to the rda. Now I'm sorry this situation is not what you want it to be hell i don't want it to be but we have to do what we're told ok. Just focus on yourself for once in your life i beg of you

“Miles that's not how life works

“Well i'm gonna need it to cause i don't need you giving the general any ideas”

“The general, what does she have to do with this?”

“She knew you were close to the traitors in the past. They didn’t want that becoming a detriment to their current mission. Our current mission may remind you. So they have me watching you. And if you slip up im supposed to hand you over.”

“Understanding comes to my face as I see now why miles was always so closed off to me recently.”

“So for my own sanity and your survival i need you to continue with the mission do you understand”

“Miles im not going to”

“Y/n i'm not asking i need you to do this until we can figure something else out please.

“God this situation is so fucked” All i can do is pace around while miles sits on the edge of the bed.

“Fine I’ll pretend if it keeps you and the others safe I’ll pretend but I refuse to hurt anyone miles. You have to realize this isn't the same as then, now we are the navi and I know without a doubt the rda does not care about any of our blue ass’s.”

“Your right darlin, we all know it but”

“But, we have to come up with a plan. I don't want to lose everyone again and I refuse to lose my son again. Ok.”

“Ok”

“Now speaking of we have a very alive problem staying in this room right now that we need to take care of first please i want to see him”

“Darlin I can’t let you do that.. i see he's staring at me but his cute little ears are drawn back and his eyes hold guilt”

“Miles where’s our son”

“Darlin hes not your son”

“Where is he miles” I yell out at the marine now blocking my way

“The general has him darlin’

“WHAT!”

“Wait! Goddamit!” She storms past me despite my best attempt to block her into our room. She always was quick and make it seem all to easy getting passed me to make her way to the interrogation wing. Running after her I stop quickly grabbing z dog and Lyle who just stood watching me storm past them. They follow after me quickly. I’m already trying to come up with what to say for damage control

Shit!”

Your pov

I get to the room and my blood boils. There he is ,little miles or spider as he kept calling him self earlier. Hes standing strapped to some sort of machine as the general yells out where’s Jake sully?" I can’t even begin to think straight taking in the scene in front of me. All I know is that my son is screaming with blood now slowly falling from his nose. Oh hell no. I immediately rush over stopping the machine before Ardmore can stop me and just as miles,Lyle and z-dog all come into the room.

“And what the hell do you think you're doing?”she screams, stomping over to me but Miles quickly grabs me by the back of the neck and pushes me towards z and wainfleet.

“Colonel is there a problem here?” she asks eyeing my struggling form

“No ma’am.” Miles say signaling to the others to fully haul me out of the way

Miles pov

“Colonel I thought you said l/n wasn’t acting out “

“She’s fine we’ve been able to sidetrack and subdue her from thinking of the past to long

“Good now explain what the hell that was just now”

“Simple general we just found our in”

“Excuse me”

“You know how they say never get between a mama lion and her cub. That’s what just happened l/n’s outburst just proved to the kid he can trust her and with that well be able to get him to trust us and give up sullys operation. “

“He’s not your son colonel this is not the time to play happy family is that understood “

“Yes sir”

“Good I will warn you once again do not let l/n compromise this mission or she will be put down is that understood “

“Understood general . I salute to the smug women in front of me though it takes all my will power and walk out to find y/n and spider”

#avatar the way of water x reader #avatar oc #avatar fanfiction #miles quaritch x reader #deja blue x reader #jake sully x reader #spider x reader

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definitelynotshouting · 8 months

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(scared) What... what happens if Grian explains right off the bat when he's found out? (shaking)

in reference to the tags of this ask

So like. A really huge part of what Scar's plan entails in canon-- and yes, it's Scar doing this partially on purpose-- is the inherent kindness of the hermits. You bring a starving, dying man back into the fold, and you can absolutely bet that the VAST majority of hermits will at LEAST let him stay until he's healthier again. This is a deliberate move on Scar's part!!! The urgency of the situation (plus the familiarity) creates more of an incentive to let Grian in and then let him linger, which gives him a chance to grow his roots again and make up with the hermits. Scar wants him home again, permanently, and in this game its basically ALL about buying time.

So what happens when you take away that sense of "he's gonna die if we dont keep him here" urgency?? Well...

Well, in an au where Grian fessed up instantly abt the starving and making games when confronted, there's a lot more room to think about it. In some ways, hunger!Grian's canonical reaction to shut down and just let them furiously throw them out was a lot kinder and ultimately worked to his advantage-- nobody got any answers, so they started looking. People are more willing to talk to him if only to understand why. There's a clear element of "i was just doing this to survive and i feel fucking horrible about it" that is,,, pretty undeniable when you've got the person in question self-harming pretty severely about it. And yes, there's pity. Not always a bad thing, and in this case thats the element Scar is deliberately tugging on to make Grian's stay a bit more palatable until he can reintegrate himself

But when you have time to think about it, without that immediate evidence, without that sense of raw urgency sorta blanketing everything so people dont question as much-- what you get is a more measured, and ultimately more negative outlook. The hermits OF COURSE take the time to help Grian figure out how to feed without using people's emotions. They're kind like that. They do care. But theres now more time to think about this, more time to decide yeah, thats valid, sure, but he still used us and hurt a lot of us and also we didnt consent.

Essentially, what im getting at here is that in a hunger au variant where Grian fesses up immediately, the hermits do help him figure out a way to feed without relying on others... and then when thats all sorted out, a vote is called, and Grian is politely but firmly requested to leave. So he loses them anyway, and without the benefit of a mystery to help bring him back.

Thats not to say the vote wasnt awfully divided, there were plenty of people who were at the very least okay with him staying. But with more time and less distance to think things out, a lot of the folks who fall into the "wary but willing to hear him out" category in canon (i have a whole chart fiejfjdj) ended up moving to the "we dont want him here" side of things because they found themselves understandably uncomfortable with the situation and the harm caused by it to others. To their friends.

Basically, its enough of a majority vote to get Grian kicked anyway and without an opening to return. And in this au, i dont think he would return. The au as i have it outlined is that Grian ends up spending years alone on a singleplayer world, falling into his grief and into the rote cycle of surviving but not thriving, until Iskall (one of the people who wanted him to stay) meets him in a market hub and eagerly gets back in touch with him.

Its very much one of those aus that really SQUEEZES your heart, bc its about the loneliness, and the emptiness of losing your entire community, and knowing it is your fault. Its about what happens when you fully isolate because of guilt and forget what its like to be happy because you wont LET yourself be happy. And its about relearning what its like to be a person instead of personified misery. The recovery in that au is SO much harder, so much of a more difficult road (which is saying smth considering canon's is already super difficult), and takes a lot more time and effort on Grian's part. Its a good au, one im really sinking my teeth into and chattering about in dms, but my gods is it significantly worse in many ways to canon hunger au

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #its actually so fucking tragic like. thinking abt the ways you can sink into your grief and forget what its like to LIVE #and ofc bc its me grian is also suicidal in this au. but theres less purpose and less energy to it #which is like. a very insidious form of suicidal ideation bc it permeates EVERYTHING #anyway yeah thats THAT hunger au variant and it makes me crazy /pos smth abt the ache of it all. man.#also dgmw abt scar like he is very genuine in his distress and fear for grian #but like listen. this man knows how to seize an opportunity and getting grian back is smth he is prepared to fight dirty for #immediate answers au #txt

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uhardite · 5 months

Text

my no-fail guide to deal with a breakup

hey bbg, if you are reading this post bc you need it, i wish you all the strength and support to get through this. dont worry, coming from a person who has had her share of *bad* breakups, this feeling wont last very long, you will feel better soon, i love you <3

reminder: this is what i personally do, it may not work for everyone, others may have different ways to deal with it, and thats completely fine! be sure to give yourself the love and care you need while getting through this bad phase x

stage 1

cry. cry your heart out. take as long as you need to express all the negative emotions you are feeling. write down reasons why he/she was not the one for you. write down what you still feel for that person. then tear it and throw it in the trash. block that person from all your socials, resist the urge to see how they are doing, stay in your room for as long as you need. cut off your ex and their circle completely, take time for yourself, talk to people who can support and comfort you, and discourage you from being impulsive. if you feel like you wont get through this, just remember to keep pushing for one week. one week, thats all im asking from you. chances are, you will recover enough by one week to start thinking rationally about this, without bursting into tears or feeling extreme sadness. this is the hardest part, but the good thing is, it takes the least time to get through. so hold on and you will get better <3

stage 2

did you have a proper conversation with your ex while breaking up? were you both honest about the mistakes you made, things you could have done better, why your relationship didnt work out? if not, now may be a good time to have a heart-to-heart. if you had a bad breakup and dont trust your ex to be honest about themselves, you may simply ask them to be honest about specific things that affected you, then listen to their side of the story and leave. HOWEVER, do not do this if you feel unsafe around them. also, remember that the goal is to get closure, to find an explanation and move on, not to get back together. if he/she was meant for you, they would come back in your life at the right time. right now, taking some time for yourself and reflecting is more important at the present. acknowledge that you have experienced something new, accept all that you can learn from it, and move ahead. now is the time to get into new hobbies, routines, making new friends, and keeping yourself busy. stop listening to sad music, work on pending assignments, projects, study for any upcoming exams in advance, start working out, do something silly each day that makes you happy, keep going

stage 3

at this stage, you will rarely be thinking of your ex, you will be occupied by new thoughts and feelings and experiences, and a lot more comfortable by now. dont be too troubled if memories come flooding back, they are just passing feelings, they dont signify anything. you might also feel lonely around this time, or wish to date again, and although i personally dont like to date until i have moved on completely, it's perfectly fine to date someone as a rebound. however, keep in mind that dating should not cause you drama, and you should be clear about committment and feelings with the other person. dating someone as your rebound shouldnt hurt them, nor you. if you want to date to show your ex that you can do better than them, stop right there. this isnt about getting their attention, this is about you moving on

stage 4

we have reached the final stage! now is the time to strengthen your current relationships, friendships, stay consistent with your progress, take time to deeply reflect, and keep growing. relationships can be learning experiences when you treat them like one, where you learn about yourself as well as about other people. having the right mindset will help you in your future relationships as well. im proud of you and you've got this xx

#this is a girlblog #girlblogging #this is what makes us girls #just girly things #moving on #letting go #breakup #heartbreak #move on #self improvement #self love #healing #healing journey #self reflection #self help #heartache #dividers by v6que

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yourtouchismidas · 11 months

Note

george teaching you how to play the drums and just being overall like a bigggg sweetheart boyfriend and it's super fluffy

george wants to touch you. he's not stopped looking at you all night. his palms havent stopped sweating. and he had to wipe them on his jeans in the restaurant every time you went to the loo. he thinks he's done good, for a first date, considering how nervous he was. how he text matty before like it's two hours til the date and then it's one hour til the date before annoying him so much that he text back calm the fuck down. you're acting like you've never been on a date before!

he has. he has been on many. but this. this is with you.

the girl he has always wanted. always stared at. always longed for. was always dating someone else. ruffling his hair and calling him georgie like it was no big deal, when actually every touch of your fingers was like lightning, every time you walked on past like a bruise inside his chest. it's fine. he always told himself. it's fine. i'll get over her.

but tonight he has made you laugh. a beautiful sound. he's made you blush, by the way he looked at you. feeling like it his one chance, his window, his lifeline. that you agreed to go on a date with him.

now your at the doorstep of his house. you walked to get icecream and you laughed when he got it on his nose. he was hoping you would kiss it off, and you looked like you might, but then he panicked, and wiped it off quickly with an eugh. you chuckled and walked on.

you knew where you were going. you knew where he lived. he knew you knew. and now you're here. silent. heavy. shaking. tense.

"come in?" george says, his voice sultry, like he can't keep his desire out his throat no matter how he tries.

he makes you a cup of coffee and you sit quietly together on the sofa and sip. you run your foot up his ankle and back down. touching. close. but not close enough. george wants to reach out. he aches too. but it's like his brain wont let him. its too much. too much pressure. to get what he wants after all this time. to have it so close. and the thought of messing it up. it freezes him.

you get up. look at the things you have seen a few times. but closer. his drum kit. his favourite. the one passed down through his family, is in the corner. blue and gold. you touch a cymbal lightly. it tingles through the air.

"whoops," you say. the first words said in minutes. he's cursing himself.

"don't worry," he says. "can you play?"

"no," you laugh. "i love music, but i dont play it."

"want me to teach you?"

"sure," you say, grinning at him. his heart is slowly. his body is unfreezing. he's becoming alive.

he tells you to sit down on the stool and places the sticks in your hand. he swears he can feel electricity when he touches the skin of your palms. he tries to teach you from the side, standing, telling you which drum to hit and when. you keep getting it wrong, laughing, hiding your face.

"help me i'm awful!" you say.

he takes a second, then he slowly slides on to the back of the stool too, you shifting forwards to make room. your back is on his chest and he knows you can feel his heartbeat through his shirt, there is absolutely no way you cant. you let out a little hmm, at his touch, and lean back into him for a second. george closes his eyes at the warmth. he takes his hands and puts them on your shoulder and then runs them down the length of your arms, until he has both your hands in a firm grip.

"there we go," he whispers in your ear. he sees the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. slowly, he moves your hands in his so your playing. you're drumming. well it's him. moving you. moving with you. you let him take over.

"well done," he whispers in your ear again, once he finishes the song.

"hey i'm pretty good aren't i?"

"you're better than i couldve ever imagined."

and with the adrenaline of the drumming, and your smile and your body hot on his, he leans down and places a kiss on the cool skin of your neck. except he can't stop at one. especially when you moan. he can't stop. he can't stop. he cant....

#george daniel x reader #george daniel #george daniel x oc #george daniel x y/n #george daniel x you #george daniel fanfiction #george daniel fluff

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ddejavvu · 1 year

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I think puppy!steddie would LOVE the idea of cockwarming in theory, but not actually be able to do it in practise. ur telling me that they can stay still for sooooo long even just sat next to you? not a chance. you cant even manage to sit on their knee without a bit of smothering and hounding. cant even fathom trying to actually do this cus you just know they'll get overly excited and ur warm :) ur wet :) ur comfy and you loooovvvveeee them :) yeah they cant even smell you without trying to start rutting inside u, its just a lost cause at this point.

not to mention the jealousy factor. like, 'what do u mean we cant both fit at the same time :'(' and its just,,, 'with the way u wont sit still, I can barely do this with just one of you.' Eddie definitely is SO persistent that This Time Will Be The Time, cus ur both sleepy and relaxed, but the second he feels ur thighs around his hips.. yeah, no.

dont think about them taking the entire thing too seriously, leading to them trying to practise with each other while ur in the other room doing ur little online job.

cw: hybrid au with dog hybrid!eddie. don't like don't read, or block the tag 'hybrid au' below. hybrid au faq

this post is 18+, minors dni.

ur so right.. it's just- they want to stay still, they want to experience that all-consuming closeness, but just the feeling of you sinking down onto their dicks is enough to have their hips jerking. and god, that feels good, so he'll do it again. and- i mean, why would he stop now? he's burying his sweaty, flushed face into your neck and gritting his teeth to stop from growling while he jackhammers into your warm, wet cunt. even if he pops a knot he'll keep moving, circling his hips or trying to jam himself impossibly deeper within you. but be careful, whoever isn't knotted to you is gonna be upset about it, so you might have to suck the other off until you can separate, and then no one wants to cockwarm anymore.

HNNGH them practicing!! god they decide they're gonna do it even if it kills them and don't think about them tying each other up (whoever's on bottom) so that they can't rut back into each other.. but then it becomes a test for the one on top, what's stopping them from going to town? nothing, you find out, as you walk into the bedroom to get your sweatshirt, and find steve biting eddie's shoulder as he cums into the man from behind, nothing is stopping them from just fucking.

#hybrid au #hybrid smut #dog hybrid!eddie #dog hybrid!steve #let's talk about puppy!eddie !!#let's talk about puppy!steve !!#puppy!eddie #puppy!steve

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vaguely-yandere · 2 years

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chamiiiiiiiiiii!!! :(((( ily ily ty for not being annoyed at my frequent and long asks <33 its so nice having someone to talk to about these things!! anyways...

you got me thinking about sensitive darling all over again!! (what else is new sunny! get ur mind out of the gutter smh smh)

imagine surprising them from behind... wrapping your arms teasingly around their waist and leaning your head on their shoulder! blowing hot air on their ear... peppering little kisses on their cheek.... one hand sneakily makes its way down to their pants... poor thing cant help but grind against you! your scent is overriding their senses and clouding their mind! they're starting to sweat (oh no, do you notice? they hope not....) and pant and they let out a surprised squeak when your hand makes contact with their super sensitive spots!! cumming prematurely is so cute... you barely did anything to them!! you insist they ride out their orgasm on your hand....grind on it!!

they're sobbing at this point but do what you say anyways <333 they're out of their mind with pleasure, what a cutie.... <333 make sure to whisper lots of reassurance and praise into their ear!! they've plunged themselves into a subspace in record time, all they can think about in the little dreamland of theirs is you, you, YOU!! touch their chest too... kiss the shell of their ears... overwhelm them...

make them submit completely to you...<3

(jk! sensitive yan cant even get w in 2 feet of you without breaking >:( we gotta work on their exposure therapy some more smh smh. until then, this stays a daydream for them! too bad! hehe <3)

-sunny <3

poor sensitive yan!!! just this daydream would get them through so many exposure therapy sessions and overstim sessions

i think their new 'therapy' tactic would be a form of exposure but they realized a while ago they couldnt stop themselves from cumming when they even get too close to you (for a while, just your scent could get them off, poor thing :() so they decided to just work on not getting overstimulated easily! theyd buy a bunch of pedilayte, gatorade and water bottles and spend hours in their room, touching themselves and making themselves cum over and over and over again, until they give themselves carpal tunnel and when theyre recovering from that (whats the point of their hands if they cant please you with them?!)they discover other ways of pleasuring themselves. sex toys, sex machines, theyve already sold most of their possessions to fuel their obsession with you (good quality cameras are so expensive!! lucky theres yandere reselling shops!) so theyve got cash to spare! they get everything. they wanted to try chastity stuff but decided to keep that one unused until you're there to see their desperation for you. they vaguely entertained the idea for when theyre stalking you or planning on getting close but the idea of doing that without anyone else knowing just turned them off. besides, itd ruin all their overstim progress so far!

they end up developing some strong muscles from riding toys, fucking into them, from clenching their muscles so hard from cumming over and over. they like the toys that wiggle the most, the ones that vibrate are too much right now and the ones that dont have any motors just dont do anything wont they lose all function. the ones that dont move however are good on making sure they have enough stamina to please you before completely passing out from pleasure and the ones that vibrate are good for more intense sessions.

its so much fun imagining them slumped on the side of their bed, drooling on their sheets and barely able to keep themselves up as a toy slowly moves in and out of the, the motor quietly whirring, barely audible over their tired moans and panting and the squelching noises from lube/cum.

and them shakily trying to ride a dildo??? ADORABLE!! hands braced in front of them, thighs practically vibrating from the strain, them desperately trying to keep going and stay coherent enough to keep engaging their muscles. dont worry, they wont overwork themselves too hard! but it is funny imagining them slumping forward, groaning and getting drool + cum all over their floor. and just imagine their squeal when they manage to lift themselves off their toy!!! so cute!!

and you know they had to buy a gag almost immediately after their first time using anything that vibrates, having one of the most intense orgasms of their life when the toy finally turns on, back arching off their bed, kinda like a demon lol

and imagining them desperately grinding into a toy, trying their hardest to fuck it like it was you, whining and whimpering the entire time. at first they were just so embarrassed, what would you even say if you caught them like this? but as they get more into it and their muscles are aching and they can barely keep their eyes open, theyre just barely pressing their hips into the toy, until eventually falling asleep/passing out and waking up with the embarrassing fantasy of falling asleep inside of you.

if they have afab anatomy, they manage to last a lot longer than a amab yandere but then they discover they can have a toy for themselves while using a strap (they feel a bit silly for not realizing that sooner and also for fucking a toy into a toy) and they end up the exact same as the amab yandere, a complete puddle.

and if they continue their overstim sessions after getting with you? so cute!! imagine walking in on them in any of these scenarios and lovingly taking care of them, rehydrating them, cleaning them up all while teasing them (but flattered they thought of this) and them waking up, barely coherent and reaching for you, making grabby hands and smiling.

"did... did i do good...?" they'll slur, leaning on you

"you did perfect, love."

#sunny darling #yandere #yandere scenarios #yandere x you #asks #yandere imagines #yandere x y/n #yandere smut

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bridgyrose · 3 months

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One hundred and twelve days. It had been one hundred and twelve days since Penny had been rebuilt after her death at Beacon, every day filled with training to keep her from falling once again. Every day became a new challenge. A different grimm to fight that was caught from the tundra, missions to clear out caves and tunnels that the grimm like to rest in, all in an attempt to hone her skills.

“Penny Polendina.”

Penny jumped up as she heard her name being called by General Ironwood, saluting him as she looked up at him. “Yes, General?”

Ironwood looked her over before motioning her to follow him. “Its time for your test.”

Penny gave a quiet nod as she followed him, running the protocols that she normally did for each training session. She gave a little skip as she tested the thrusters in her boots, pleased that they were still working as needed. Her swords started to make their way out of her back as she tested their movement again, putting them away once she confirmed everything was working. Thrusters: on standby, weapons: ready, power levels: ninety percent, plenty of time before her next recharge was needed. Ready for anything she was going to be put up against.

Or atleast, she thought she was. Penny nearly froze as she laid eyes on Amity Arena, memories flooding in when she felt the wires of her swords wrap around her. She put her hand on her arm, nearly squeezing it like she had seen Ruby do to calm herself in a panic attack before closing her eyes and purging the memories of her death. They were unnecessary. Distractions that would keep her from doing everything she needed to be the protector of Atlas.

“I know it wasnt that long ago that you were here and killed,” Ironwood started as he led her down to the arena floor. “But this will be your final test to prove that you’re ready to defend Atlas. You wont have to worry about grimm or any of the training bots that Specialist Schnee liked to put you up against. Instead, we’ll consider this… target practice.”

“I am not sure I understand,” Penny said as she followed Ironwood down to the bottom of the arena, looking around at the rebuilt stands. She could remember where everyone was sitting that day, how Ruby was there one moment and then gone the next, that Weiss and Blake had chosen to skip out to go around the festival grounds, Yang being on house arrest until the end of the tournament. Her fingers twitched as she held onto each memory, trying to focus on everything in front of her. “If I am not fighting grimm, then what will be my targets?”

“Images of those who you’re supposed to protect Atlas from. I’ll give you a few minutes to prepare before we start.”

Penny nodded as she watched General Ironwood make his way up to the control room, closing her eyes as she tried to focus on the task at hand. All she had to do was destroy the targets that appear, prove she can be the protector of Atlas. Defeat the targets, become the protector of Atlas.

The arena started to awaken and Penny opened her eyes as she watched the floor open up and hard light platforms started to appear. Then, she saw the targets as the appeared: small disks with the faces of past enemies of Atlas. It only took a moment for her to start tracking them as they moved around with the platforms, powering up her thrusters as she took to the air. With a blast of energy, she shot at the first target, releasing a shower of sparks. Then, she shot at the next target, running through the sparks that came from the targets. Her vision faltered for a moment as she landed on one of the platforms, losing track of the targets.

“Dont falter now, Penny,” Ironwood said through the speaker system. “Only a few more targets.”

Penny nodded as her vision started to clear up and she was able to start tracking the targets again. She rushed through, slicing through the rest of the targets as showers of sparks fell over her, only one thing in mind: to become a weapon for Atlas. As she sliced through the last target, she felt her body start to power down and her thrusters give out, finally powering down as she slammed onto the arena floor.

“Penny?” Pietro asked. “Are you awake now?”

Penny slowly woke up as her body powered back on, memories a haze of data filled with holes. “Did… did I pass the general’s test?”

Pietro smiled, almost relieved that Penny was awake. “Yes, you did. Though you took a bit of a beating to go through whatever he wanted you for.”

Penny looked over herself, patches of her synthetic skin singed along with a few patches missing from her landing. She moved her arm, hearing the joints grind. “I-I remember powering down and falling..” her eyes went blank as she tried to remember, unable to recall much beyond the desire to be a weapon, a protector for Atlas at the General’s disposal. “It must have been classified. I… I can not remember.”

“I’ll repair the damage, and then you can go see the General. Mentioned something about an airship not responding with the right landing codes.”

Penny nodded and closed her eyes to put herself into standby mode until her repairs were completed. She’d need to be in her best condition to protect Atlas, and if an airship made it through the blockade, then Atlas would need its weapon to keep it safe.

#rwby #penny polendina #james ironwood #pietro polendina #repurposed au

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sawtual · 1 year

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do you have any nica pierce and tiffany valentine headcanons?

letting this ask age like fine wine until i got to the perfect point to answer it which is right now i guess <3

im not sure if you were asking for them separately or as a ship but uhhhh ill just cover all my bases ^_^

when nica was in college she was kind of a heart breaker. she hadn’t dated very much in highschool, probably just some boy for a few months, mainly out of a feeling of obligation, but she really hits her stride in college. it helps because shes finally on her own, she can spread her wings without the burden of feeling like the pitiful disabled girl with the mentally ill mother. in college she gets to be witty and charming and make friends who dont know her dreary backstory. also in college she realizes she is in fact a lesbian.. <3 (insert obligatory changing my major reference thank you kora)

nica’s kind of reveling in the discovery of women and kissing women and being with women and well she is all about that but i fear that she is a huge commitmentphobe is the problem. the list of messy exes and ghosted one night stands is something that honestly embarrasses nica but well you see they were too clingy ! (wanted to sleep over after having sex) they were too pushy and nosey! (asked about her childhood)

basically um. well imagine growing up and your mother drills it into you over and over again that the scariest most dangerous thing you can do is fall in love with someone. that no matter what nica does, dont love another person. dont open yourself up to the hurt, the pain, the loss. and nica rebuffs it because of course she does. she resents her mother for thinking nica cant handle herself, handle possible loss or pain, but she grew up on this, this fear and anguish seeped into her brain and now she herself is terrified of that possible loss. so she simply does not open herself up to that! which is actually what is so funny but also perfect about tiffanica to me. nica so resistent and fearful of commitment and mutual love that it takes another woman literally keeping her in their house like a wounded bird for her to get the kind of exposure therapy she needed to see that maybe being loved is not the terrible thing she grew up thinking it would be

oh also i really believe that sarah pierce has had a few suicide scares in the past, and that was particularly hard when barb was away from home (nica would be 12-18 all by herself with her mother). nica feels extremely responsible for her mothers mental health and keeping her safe. in fact i genuinely believe that the reason nica is at home in curse is not because of her own health reasons but because sarahs mental health took a pretty drastic drip and, of course barb refused to take care of her (she wanted to send her to a care home/or a ward), so nica swallowed her pride and gave up her independence to move back with her mother and keep an eye on her while she got better. i genuinely believe this is canon i wont lie, i feel like its very well supported in the text and implications of the movie.. but im just throwing it in here because i like spreading the good word

so for tiffany its pretty much canon that she meets chucky when shes uhhh 19 if we are being generous. shes very young. and hes in his late 20s </3. so well for tiffany i think she had a very messy time in her teenage years. a lot of intense relationships that were not good for her at all, she wanted to feel something, feel alive and in control but these men dont really wake that feeling up in her. she’s not careful with herself, i wouldnt call her suicidal but shes not very concerned with her life. visiting bars and hooking up with dangerous looking men for a thrill, shes kind of just waiting to get murdered about it the rate shes going. but when she meets chucky the pieces just fall into place. their relationship is so turbulent and exciting and dangerous and everything tiffany thought she wanted. but chucky is on a level above tiffany, hes colder, more calculating, more manipulative and dangerous, despite how badly tiffany wants to be just as despicable as him.

this isnt so much a headcanon but uhhhh. the fact that tiffany and chucky are together for 2 years before he dies. the fact that chucky kills her mother.. ^_^ um well i think that was probably just about the most fucked up thing. you have no one but me. she was holding you back. she wanted to stop you, but i want to set you free. etc etc etc… AGHH. when youre wrapped up so tightly in another person like that, in such a twisted and desperate and unhealthy way, it really does make sense that tiffany is obsessed with chucky ten years later. especially the fact that in that time she had idealized him so severely, i really believe that tiffany had completely twisted their relationship up in her head in the 10 years he was gone. she convinces herself that what they had was magical, that he was the one for her, that he was more loving than he actually was, that he held a certain amount of tenderness for her that shes emphasized in her mind. that she was the villain in their relationship, the desperate jealous bitch who hurt her loving boyfriend, without even giving him a chance. she gets the chucky heart tattoo when she finds out he dies, revels in the pain. she deserves to hurt after what she did. its less of a tattoo and more of a brand

hmmm kind of headcanon but also kind of implied canon due to jennifer and fiona’s machinations.. but i really like the concept of tiffany and nica having a very complicated and interesting dynamic post cult. the first time tiffany meets nica properly, is after chucky has hurt her. maybe he hit her or said something particularly hurtful, but she swings back and hits him across the face and well. out comes nica. this is how they meet the first few times. nica manages to wrangle her anxiety and panic under control, seeing the way that tiffany is so hysterically upset and anguished. and she comforts her. she doesnt know what else to do, she hates tiffany, cant look at her without hearing “she’s dead, miss pierce” ringing in her ears but the longer tiffany spends sobbing in nicas arms, she doesnt feel that burning hatred in the pit of her stomach. the fear kind of subsides a little too, not by much, but its not the overwhelming blind panic she felt the first time this happened. shes realizing that tiffany is not the cold calculating villain that she had believed her to be. that shes broken, hurting and scared, and desperately in love with chucky, someone who cant love her back the way she wants, the way she needs.. nica pities her

also the rest of my tiffanica thoughts lie squarely in the alternate but better reality where nica never gets dismembered and tiffany exorcises chucky from her body, so them living in tiffanys house together is a lot more like. focused on their dynamic and how they learn to care for each other in a way that makes sense to both of them. its kind of everything to me.. ^_^

OH one additional silly headcanon i have is that barb owned a copy of bound, but she left it at home after leaving to college, and a young nica ends up stumbling upon it and well um. it in fact does affect her in ways.

#sorry i dont have as much stuff to say for tiffany um the thing is she is so much better written than nica so i have to do a ton of legwork-#to flesh nica out #while tiffany is already a comprehensive character with motives and feelings that align with her throughout the entire franchise..#SO THERES THAT #also sorry i feel like you probably wanted me to say their favorite mcdonalds orders or something which sure i can do that too but well #when you let me go with a vague prompt im going to be going quite insane unfortunately #i <3 meta posting and thinking so much and fleshing characters out and rolling them aroundin my head #asks #anon #tiffanica #tiffany valentine #nica pierce #childs play #long post #text heavy

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mental-health-advice · 2 months

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Hello!

(tw mentions of sh but nothing graphic)

I really dont know if this is the place for this, if so simply being able to write this out is probably helpful. I am in a romantic relationship with someone who self harms (were both 19). This was a thing i knew about before we got together, we were both going through a rough patch then and bonded a lot of beinf able to talk about our problems, i think back then i was so busy dealing with my own mountain of problems and thoughts of self inury (that i luckily never followed through on) that worry for someone else didnt even fit.

While all the resources I can find are really helpful im at a bit of a loss now, ive done everything right, i already had expierience with other friends and myself. They are in therapy and are on the path to healing, take good care of the wounds generally and we can openly comunicate about this and generally have been able to do so effectively.

These last few months however theres been more slip ups than before. I know progress is not linear, and its still much a work in progress (this has been an issue for 7 years, 1 year of recovery is obviously nothing). I am incredibly proud of the progress they have made, last year it was twice weekly trips to the ER, so even twice a month is huge already. also know they wont be able to quit or even signficantly reduce the self harm until they move out, since their family is unstable and does everything wrong (gets angry, threatens with ultimatums, generally extremely scared of their scars).

last few times with a slip up its made me freak out too, I have an anxiety disorder which this now triggers (i used to have a slightly better grip on this) I try to remain calm and helpful for their sake, but its mostly incredibly upsetting im not there to help them, and i know being there to talk helps but ive run out of material ways to help. It also feels like it proves my fear that something will always go wrong, which can lead me to have panic attacks. Ive talked about this with them of course and we get through it together, i really want to be better at keeping a slightly leverer head though. I used to have counceling too who helped me, but since i turned 18 and finished school im now on a waitinglist for adult help, and while talking to other friends helps somewhat its still generally makes me panic, sleep badly and sometimes have nightmares. I really love them, whenever were together we bring out the best in eachother and im afraid if i talk about this too much to people theyll tell me to break up with them.

we have plans to move in together for university next year, which im sure will help a lot (i know they wont magically heal then either, but ill be there as a more sturdy support and theyll be able to access ER, etc without being shamed) and ill have a therapist again then too, so its just these coming months that are going to be very rough. I just never know how to calm myself down, i know its not rational (they are hurt but never badly, they always talk to me about it, their psychologist will generally help too) i also know im allowed to feel sad and scared, i just want to be more in control.

back when i had a therapist she used to talk about trying to stay at my own feelings, not getting dragged down into someone else. But i just dont know how to do that, whenever it happens its just so sad and i hate it. No matter how much i remind myself even after ive allowed myself a period to be sad that itll be okay and they are relatively safe and i see them every week it feels so awful. Its not very tennable to ruin my whole night, next day on this every time. sorry this is sooo long but i feel the context is important as ive gone through a lot of advice, thank u tho.

Hey there,

Whilst I think that it is great that you have been able to help this person for such a long period of time, unfortunately it is not always sustainable no matter how much we would like it to be. This though doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try if you want to, I am just trying to point out that unless you look after yourself too and put a bit of a barrier between you and this person then it is likely that things may not change or improve for YOU.

I know how great it can feel when we help another and especially when we see such big improvements for the person we are trying to help and support, but the end line is that we can only do so much until we ourself begin to crumble or struggle a bit (which it sounds like you are to some degree) and so I am wondering if you can put some space between this person and you at all to focus on yourself a bit more and self-care may be of some benefit to you.

In regards to this person, any day of no self-harm is an amazing achievement and no amount of set backs or slip ups/ relapses can take these achievements away from them. It’s important to know that that recovery comes from within and so unless this person chooses to and is ready to focus on their recovery then it is unlikely that things will change for them and they will still be in survival mode. This is in no way your fault, and nor is there much you can do about it as we cannot choose recovery for another person, it has to be when they are ready and choose to try to commit. And even then, it’s quite normal to go back to survival mode and go back and forth between recovery and not, this does not mean they are not still trying, but rather they are just human like everyone of us are. I remember in my own recovery away from self-harm I did go in and out of trying to not self-harm depending on how strong I felt on the day and what triggers may have come up that made me want to self-harm, this didn’t mean I wasn’t trying or that, it was just that I was really struggling and the urges to self-harm were too strong to try and fight them.

So, what can you do?

To begin with try to be patient with yourself and this person and know that even when they seem to not be trying, they actually are. Try to put some space in between you and this person to enable you to look after yourself too. You can do this by practising good self-care (trying to eat healthy, doing some exercise a few times a week and trying to get a good nights sleep) and tyring to have some ‘down time’ where you can simply just think about yourself and do some things that you enjoy doing whatever that may be. I know that you may feel selfish and bad for taking some time out for yourself, but if you don’t look after yourself then it won’t be sustainable to help support others and be there for them if you choose to do so.

In regards to how it can make you feel when this person does self-harm or is struggling quite a bit, as your therapist mentioned to you, try to take a step back and allow yourself some time to grieve or feel sad and try to be kind to yourself – I know how it can feel like a loss to you as well when someone is struggling and self-harms as a result, but in reality it has nothing to do with you and how much or how little you are there for the, it is bound to happen anyway and this in no way reflects on you and how good a job you may be doing to support them through difficult times and days.

I know that you mentioned that it can cause great anxiety when they do self-harm now, and so when this happens, again, try to be kind to yourself and do try to take some time out for you. And I know, this is much easier said than done, but it will get easier though with practice and it may also be helpful to check out our page on calming anxiety and panic as well for some more ideas on different coping strategies.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #self-harm #supporting others

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