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ravenelyx · 1 year

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I love you in every timeline - Prologue: In Search of Lost Time

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x Fem!Reader

Words: 1.9k

Chapter Warnings: angst if you squint, Harry Potter characters appearance, no name appearance (not even y/n dw), some swearing, use of 2nd person for the reader (I know I know but I promise it makes sense for the story)

Summary: "He turned around, and the world seemed to stop around him. She had followed him: into another timeline, into another universe.". In which Sebastian, in his search for a cure in the Dark Arts, finds himself 100 years into the future and meets his most trusted companion's descendant (who looks far too similar to the girl he was once secretly in love with).

A/N: this is the first english fic I've written, so I'm terrified. Anyway, Trimetravel! AU with Sebastian Sallow. Some background info: Reader is not MC; Reader is a Gryffindor, MC was a Slytherin; MC was a Pureblood, Reader is a Muggle Born. Also, english is not my first language so if you find any mistakes, I deeply apologise. Not proof-read (for obvious reasons).

→ Find the rest of the fanfiction here on AO3 :)

"For we are not as faithful to the being we have most loved as we are to ourselves and sooner or later we forget her — since that is one of our characteristics — so as to start loving another." - Marcel Proust, In Search of Lost Time

If a chasm had opened under Sebastian's feet and swallowed him all the way to the depths of hell, he would have gladly accepted his demise there and then.

Unfortunately, its mercy seemed to be out of business that day — or any other day in his life, really.

Sebastian paced the corridors, a frown adorning his face; he had just come out of the Headmaster's office due to the absolute disaster that had occurred to him just a few hours prior.

After weeks of research, he had finally found something that could help him, a breakthrough with which he could finally achieve his goal. An artefact so powerful that it could break the fabric of time and space, something that could help his poor sister live a happy and healthy life again. He did not care that they were not on speaking terms at the moment: he would find a way to talk to her so that she would take this last chance. He would force her if he had to. It was his last hope, and Merlin knows he had tried everything.

If he had known about the artefact's effects earlier, he would have thought twice before using it.

"So, Mr Sallow, could you be so kind as to tell us how you came to be in our time?" the Headmaster, who had earlier introduced himself as Albus Dumbledore, had asked him.

Truth was that not having stopped dwelling with the Dark Arts in search of a cure for Anne had led him to find himself in another timeline instead. His face twitched: in terms of unlikelihood, the scales seemed pretty unbalanced.

It had been a brief conversation, really, with Sebastian omitting some details (like his friendship with an Ancient Magic wielder or the murder of his uncle, for which he bore full responsibility) and grimacing against his own will when the Headmaster had looked at him through his half-moon shaped glasses as if asking him, 'Why are you lying to me?'

He had pushed the thoughts away as quickly as they had come: it wasn't like he could read his mind... or could he?

Sebastian breathed a sigh of relief when the Headmaster had dismissed him after giving him specific instructions on how to behave until they found a way to return him to his timeline — one of which was, "Please don't inform anyone of your condition unless it's absolutely necessary." That had seemed quite reasonable to him, so he nodded.

The artefact was damaged, as expected, and unlikely to work again unless a powerful form of magic came into contact with it and repaired it: something like Ancient Magic, perhaps, or a miracle.

"I see you're still causing trouble everywhere you fare, aren't you, Mr Sallow?" the familiar voice of Phineas Nigellus Black had mocked from his portrait, effectively startling him. Sebastian had looked up and into the eyes of his old Headmaster, his mouth falling open at the sight of him. He looked old, weary, and angrier somehow — yet, in a way, he had brought Sebastian some form of comfort, almost. A sense of familiarity.

Before he could have said anything, Black had disappeared, and a woman with severe blue eyes and long robes had escorted him out of the office.

Sebastian looked around at his familiar surroundings, which would have been almost comforting if not for the nameless faces looking at him with curiosity: Hogwarts students tended to recognise each other effortlessly, and anyone who didn't fit into that bundle of familiarity was to be ostracised. He remembered all too well when he was the one helping the new fifth-year find her way around those same corridors, except he didn't need guidance: this was his home, after all.

But he did have a guide, and she wasn't as charming a student as he was either.

The Head of the Gryffindor House walked right next to him, a stern expression on her face made even more prominent by the shadow of her large witch hat. The woman Sebastian had come to know as Minerva McGonagall was also the Transfiguration teacher and Deputy Headmistress, at least it seemed that way, which was no doubt why she was accompanying him rather than the Head of his own House.

Sebastian decided not to ask himself any questions and do what the Headmaster told him to: attend class, fit in, and pretend to be either a transfer student or someone with a complex background — he hadn't decided which story to tell yet (and both, in a way or another, would be true).

The clacking of Professor McGonagall's shoes stopped so abruptly that he almost would have missed it if she hadn't started speaking.

"You're about to meet two of your new classmates. Prefects of the Gryffindor House." She raised her left arm in their direction, and his eyes followed it to two red and gold robes leading into warm faces.

"I am pleased to introduce you to Ms Hermione Granger—" she gestured to the girl with curly hair to her left, who wore a friendly smile all while maintaining a serious and clean look, "—and Mr Ronald Weasley." Sebastian's eyes shot to the boy to his right when he heard the familiar name, and to be honest, he might not have needed an introduction at all: the red-haired boy gave him a wry smile, his freckles standing out even more in the natural light. He would have recognised those features anywhere.

Finally, Sebastian noticed their uniforms. He didn't pay much attention to the boy's — he himself also wore a very similar one, uncomfortable and informal as it seemed to him — for his eyes were fixed on the girl's. She was wearing a grey cardigan with red and gold trim, the colours of her House, and her skirt was much shorter than he remembered, with black denier tights covering the rest of her legs. Sebastian felt himself blushing slightly and averted his eyes.

He wondered why the Slytherin prefects were unsuited to the situation: at the end of the day, he was a Slytherin, too. Sebastian didn't undergo the Sorting again — the Professors didn't seem to deem it necessary, not to mention the Hat had recognised him from his shelf, too. He didn’t forget easily.

McGonagall turned back to Sebastian and briefly adjusted his robes, her face softening slightly, "For the time being, it is best if you don't draw attention to yourself. We will find a solution," she straightened her posture and nodded at him, "Welcome to Hogwarts." She turned on her heels and walked away, leaving him with the two Gryffindors.

He studied their faces for a moment, searching for the right words to say, deciding on which story to tell, but the only thing he could muster was: "How come you're Gryffindors?"

The two students stared at him, appalled, and he mentally slapped himself. He wanted to correct his statement and explain his intention, but the girl stopped him before he could even form a coherent thought.

"You're wondering why they asked us to guide you and not the Slytherin Prefects, am I right?"

Either his question wasn't that unclear, or the girl had excellent deduction skills, and judging by the epiphany on the other boy's face when he understood the meaning of her words, it was most likely the latter.

Sebastian sighed inwardly and nodded, mentally promising not to stumble over his words again.

The boy — Ronald, Sebastian recalled — chimed in: "Because otherwise you'd have to deal with Malfoy, and he's an idio—" the girl slapped him on the arm and gave him a warning look before turning back to Sebastian.

Malfoy, Sebastian thought. A family of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. It was clear why a Weasley would want nothing to do with him.

Sebastian wondered if they still held the same values as in his day: if the Malfoys were still blood maniacs, and so was the person they spoke of, or if he wanted to distance himself from his family as Ominis did. Judging by Ronald's opinion of him, Sebastian did not think that was possible, but then again, he did not know the fellow. Maybe, Sebastian thought, things had moved on after a century: no blood wars, discrimination or superiority complexes. Perhaps this was all just a simple rivalry between two students from different Houses.

"Professor Dumbledore thought us to be best suited for this difficult situation. No other student but us knows about your... misadventure," said Hermione.

To call it a "misadventure" would be an understatement , Sebastian wanted to say. As it turned out, however, he didn't need a story to tell. He didn't know whether to feel betrayed by the Professors who had decided to disclose that information or relieved that he didn't have to go through it all alone. A beat of silence followed, in which Sebastian could only nod at the girl's words, and then it was interrupted abruptly.

"Where have you been?" called a voice from the end of the corridor, directly behind Sebastian.

He turned around, and the world seemed to stop around him.

He definitely didn't have to go through it all alone because there she was. Standing a few feet away from him, looking straight at him, was the person who had accompanied him on all his adventures.

She had followed him: into another timeline, into another universe.

He felt his lips twist into a grin, and he beamed at the sight of her. Had she been looking for him?

He frowned a little as he noticed her expression: she seemed annoyed, almost angry. Perhaps she had no intention of following him and had just ended up here for no reason? Were the two of them connected on a deeper level than he thought? Or perhaps she was just worried for him and angry he didn't look for her too?

The girl started to walk towards them, and his smile widened even more the closer she got.

She was almost there when he realised she wasn't sparing him a glance.

Instead, her eyes were focused on the red-haired boy next to him, who was staring at her in horror, looking completely terrified.

Sebastian looked back at the girl, finally noticing the red and gold tie around her neck where a green and silver one usually belonged, a crease in her eyebrows that wasn't there before, and her eyes were a different colour than he remembered.

What the hell is going on here? he thought, staring at her wide-eyed.

"Ron, for God's sake, I've been looking all over for you! Do you intend to give me back my book before class starts, or should I pull a new one out of a hat because you can't use your own?" she threw her hands in the air disapprovingly.

Ron stuttered briefly before hesitantly pointing at the Slytherin boy next to him, "I've just had too much to do. Prefect stuff, you know."

The girl scowled at him before turning to the said boy, her eyes softening slightly. "Oh! You're the new fifth-year!"

Sebastian's eye twitched. How bloody ironic.

"I'm Sebastian Sallow," he replied feebly, body stock-still like marble.

"Nice to meet you," she smiled politely.

And then she introduced herself.

His breath caught in his throat. Sebastian could have recognised that surname anywhere, but her name fell completely deaf on his ears.

You weren't her.

→ Chapter 1

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blacklegsanjiii · 1 month

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Had an idea about Revolutionary!Sanji where he and Sabo make it to Marineford like here but Sanji doesn't know those are his boyfriend's brothers just knows he has the means to make it and does. They manage to save them and Ace and Luffy are crying and clinging to Sabo after punching him and Sabo and Sanji are really confused because they know him? Koala even thinks it's weird and Ivankov mentions how Sabo came to them.

Sabo, uncomfortable but letting these guys cling to him says that the doctors don't think he is getting those back. Sanji saying that it's been ten years. Ace demanding that he gets checked over by Marco and the revolutionaries not really being up for that but agree if it'll make them let go of Sabo who is growing more uncomfortable by the moment so they do and Law is there as well and Ivankov gets a lashing about the miracle cure from Law and Marco as they check over the brothers and then the revolutionaries. Both of them listening to Luffy and Ace insist that Sabo is their brother and Sabo saying he doesn't fucking know because he has no memories from before waking up with the army. Law immediately using the op-op fruit when the doctors find out that was when he was a child as Marco shrugs and says the revolutionary doctors are probably right about his memory.

Koala is apologizing to them but since Sabo has no memory and no one else was there the exact moment he was found they don't know anything and can't trust it. Sanji also says they need to get out before the Navy comes since they have enough consequences to deal with and Ivankov finally asks Sanji what the fuck happened so Luffy and Sanji explain.

"Wait, Kuma sent you back to Momoiro?" Ivankov asks.

"Yeah. I don't understand why." Sanji shrugs.

"I got sent to Amazon Lily." Luffy says.

"And made Boa fall in love with you, wow." Marco says in amazement.

"But Kuma hasn't been a revolutionary for years! He left before any of us joined. Ivankov!" Koala looks to them.

"If he sent me home and Luffy to Amazon Lily then we can trust he sent the crew to places he thinks they'll grow stronger. We can only guess where but either way the crew should use the two years to get stronger. If they're alive they'll make it to Sabaody no problem then." Sanji shrugs.

"Sanji is right. We have to put our faith in Kuma." Ivankov says. "Anything else?"

"Luffy is absolutely shit at lying-" Sanji starts.

"Hey!" Luffy yells.

"So if he and Ace are saying Sabo is their brother we can trust that, maybe with a link to the times before Baltigo we can get your memories back when the training is done, when I go back to the crew if there's time." Sanji tells them.

"If there's time." Sabo nods along with the doctors and Ivankov.

"You three are in a lot of trouble though." Ivankov says. Sanji grabs Koala and Sabo and immediately starts sky walking away from them as Ivankov yells curses and the brothers stare in awe.

#revolutionary sabo #koala one piece #koala #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #portgas d ace #monkey d. luffy #straw hat luffy #fire fist ace #emporio ivankov #one piece au #revolutionary!sanji #sabosan #sabo one piece

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antianakin · 6 months

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Forgive the silly premise but I saw a meme video that inspired this question, feel free to ignore. The meme was Anakin and Palpatine in that "Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plageius the Wise?" scene but Anakin answers; "Oh yeah that's the story of the the Sith Lord whose apprentice cowardly killed him in his sleep. It was a real eye-opener for me, it taught me that you should never, under no circumstance whatsoever, trust a Sith."

With that ridiculous background out of the way my question is what do you think Anakin would do if he came to the conclusion that he absolutely couldn't trust Palpatine to save Padme or help him learn something that could? What do you think he'd do in that kind of situation?

I mean, my first instinct is to say it doesn't matter. Anakin is already someone who believes he cannot, under any circumstances, trust a Sith. He fully belives the Sith are "evil" and his initial response to finding out Palpatine is a Sith IS not to trust him, to turn him in to the Jedi and let justice have its way with him. But the more he thinks about it, the more Palpatine's words slither into his soul and cause him to realize that what Palpatine is offering him is worth more than the possible consequences of leaving Palpatine alive. He'd rather have Padme and doom the Jedi and the Republic than the other way around. He also is explicitly planning to kill Palpatine himself, he says as much to Padme, he's just waiting until he can guarantee Padme will survive past childbirth or whatever. So even when he chooses to save Palpatine, he ultimately doesn't REALLY trust him that much because he KNOWS Palpatine is inherently untrustworthy. The possibility of saving Padme is worth working with someone he doesn't trust. He doesn't see any other options.

But just for the sake of argument, let's say something caused Anakin to decide Palpatine couldn't help him save Padme AT ALL, that Palpatine is lying to him or something and doesn't truly know shit all of some kind of secret power to keep people from dying. There's really no reason to believe he does, so Anakin has no reason to bother keeping him alive.

My assumption in that kind of scenario is that he'd just stick with the Jedi for the time being, he'd let them kill Palpatine or kill Palpatine himself, but then he'd probably fuck off on his own to go look for some kind of cure. I don't think Palpatine's death would keep him from obsessing over saving Padme, it would just force him to run off and look for alternatives. So he'd run, he'd abandon everyone and everything in search of some kind of miracle power or cure to keep people from dying and in the process he'd still probably lose himself to the darkness and to the desire for power for power's sake alone and he'd either remember to come back too late (after Padme had already given birth) or he'd just never come back at all because the thing that motivated him originally has lost all meaning in the quest for more and more power.

Padme would have the twins, Anakin would be gone, and what happens there is probably up to you and what you think Padme would actually choose to do with two powerful Force-sensitive twins. Maybe she refuses to give them up to the Jedi and raises them on Naboo as best she can. Maybe she DOES give them up to the Jedi because Anakin left her and the twins are now a constant reminder of that loss and the pain she associates with him and she can't stand to look at them most of the time. Maybe Padme dies in childbirth anyway and the Jedi take the children with them afterwards because she gives them away in her last breaths or something. Take your pick, I guess.

#star wars #padme amidala #luke skywalker #leia organa #anti anakin #anti anakin skywalker #anakin critical #anakin skywalker critical

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reccyls · 9 months

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little bit from chapter 14 of the dramatic route of chevalier's sequel. very loose translation. this is really for my personal reference

this has spoilers for gilbert's route as well

Gilbert: Hey, I want to talk to Chevalier alone for a while.

Leon: Hell no. You have given us exactly negative ten reasons to trust you at this point.

Gilbert: Well things are fine now, aren't they?

I unlocked the cell door and removed the manacles and chains from Chevalier. He was finally now set free.

Emma: You were the one who injured him to this point.

Gilbert: It's not like he's going to die.

(With all that blood loss, it's a miracle he hasn't died yet.)

Seeing that we were still on guard, Gilbert removed his coat and set down his cane.

Gilbert: What about now?

(Going that far... it looks like he really does want to talk to Chevalier about something.)

Chevalier: Wait outside.

Chevalier wiped the blood flowing down his face with his sleeve. Leon and I stared at each other.

(I'm worried, but it's an order from the king.)

Emma: We'll be just outside.

Leon: If anything happens, just yell "Kyaaaa, save me!" eh?

Chevalier: ........

Leon: ...It was a joke. You can stop looking at me like that. Leon: Let's go, Emma.

(I hope nothing happens.)

...

The moment that Emma and Leon leave the room, Gilbert collapsed to the floor. As he coughed viciously and gasped for breath, Chevalier looked down at him with an expressionless stare.

Chevalier: It appears that I'm not the one at most risk of dying here.

Gilbert: *cough, cough* ...Shut up.

Chevalier: How long do you have?

Gilbert: ....I don't have any obligation to tell you.

Wiping the blood from his lips, Gilbert braced himself against the wall to stand.

Chevalier: I had thought Obsidian's medical technology was fairly advanced. And yet it can't cure you.

Gilbert: What, are you worried? About me? After I shot you?

Chevalier: If you die here, I won't be able to prove my innocence [after being accused of assassinating you]. Chevalier: If you must die, do it after we've returned to Rhodolite.

Gilbert: ...So cold. What kind of friend are you?

#ikemen prince #chevalier (ikepri)#gilbert (ikepri)

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the-cornuthaum · 6 months

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Depression's a bitch. If you haven't experienced it for yourself - good. Keep it that way. If you have, you might be able to read the last story parts of Lone Trail and draw some measure of solace from them, the knowledge that whoever was writing it Got It.

There's more I have to say about this below but I don't want to be too much of a bother so let's see if I get this line break thing to work right.

Lone Trail is a strong event all around but it is without any doubt at its strongest when it grapples with the themes of isolation, loneliness and alienation that isn't (just) the simple absence of physical comfort from the presence of another human being.

It's this, the isolated alienation from everyone and everything around you that is core to many - not all, it never is the same for everyone - depressive expressions for people around the world. That constant feeling of being stuck behind a glass wall, able to see how things could be, how things should be, but not being able to actually get there.

This feeling, it often and easily leads to raging against a fate that is hard to see as anything but a crippling defect. It makes you wish you could feel nothing, rather than feel like that. To be a thing of clockwork, simple cause and effect.

In those moments, it is also altogether too easy to ask yourself "but what is life worth, then?" and in the depths of that depression not being able to come up an answer. It is an illness, depression, it is maladaptive.

When I read this, I was almost giddy. Someone McFucking Got It.

It is no less than my answer to struggle with chronic illnesses. That this is not just, that this is not fair, that this is not good, but that it simply *is*, and that my life experience is not inherently lessened or less worthy for it.

It is being able to put your faith in other people who offer a helping hand and trust their perception - of you, or your situation - over your own, no matter how improbable or implausible or even stupid their assessment is (or seems to be. Never forget: Depression is a chronic illness that severely and negatively warps your ability to self-assess.)

There is no grand fanfare for getting it right, either. There's no miracle cure. Life goes on, and we all age in real time.

But it answers the question of "what is life worth, then?". Living, existing, being, continuing on in the face of often very literal pain or metaphorical leaden weights on your heart and shoulders, it is in and of itself good enough. One might not like their life, but it is still worth living.

And I am glad to see that in Arknights, too. To see someone cut off from their culture, their former friends and their dreams, who is on the very literal threshold of giving in to their suicidal ideation, taking the plunge and putting their faith and trust in the assessment of someone else and manages to keep going and keep living.

(But also: "What is life worth, then?" is the wrong question, anyways. Worth is a construct that has no place put next to the full braid of experiences that go into making up a human life.)

#arknights #lone trail #muelsyse #life with chronic illness

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crownmemes · 5 months

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Twin Peaks Sentences, Vol. 4

(Sentences from Twin Peaks (1990-1991, 2017). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Love will break your heart. Happily, long ago I lost interest."

"You don't like me very much, do you?"

"I cannot tolerate people who do not play by the rules."

"A man who doesn't love easily, loves too much."

"Sometimes making up for things only makes it worse."

"You should have been the best thing that ever happened to me."

"The best cure I ever came across for a hangover was raw meat, and plenty of it."

"Seeing your beauty now, I feel as though my stomach is filled with a team of bumblebees."

"What's wrong with miracles?"

"I've been out of circulation so long, I've completely forgotten social niceties."

"You must think I'm really strange."

"Who said anything about love?"

"I know you'll be strong, and I know you'll be brave, but I want you to promise me you'll be careful."

"I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange."

"Oh, stop your incessant moping!"

"When I talk to you, I get a tingling sensation in my toes and in my stomach."

"Hiding from your fear doesn't make your fear go away."

"Love is hell."

"It feels like someone's taking a crowbar to my heart."

"I've missed you. I've missed all the things we used to do together."

"I want more than your kisses."

"Your behaviour is not funny. It's wasting the time of the federal government."

"Do you think we're lucky, or just a terrible accident?"

"When this kind of fire starts, it is very hard to put out."

"You did good. You followed human nature perfectly."

"It's time for you to learn how to mind your own business."

"This is the most wonderful, horrible day of my life."

"Before, you were a confused and wild thing sometimes. I had enough dirt on you to fill the Grand Canyon."

"There's room here for more than one beautiful woman."

"I will saw your head open and eat your brains if you fuck me over."

"You didn't hear this from me, but I don't think this is going to be your investigation for much longer."

"We used to smoke together, way back when. You remember?"

"There's no backup for this."

"Please speak succinctly, and do not make any loud, sharp noises."

"Sometimes I really worry about you."

"We don't have time for torture. I'm hungry."

"When you didn't come home last night, I thought the worst."

"Why are you so against me?"

"You're a weak coward. It makes me sick."

"Who am I supposed to trust but myself?"

"Are you drinking all alone tonight?"

"It's no fun torturing a corpse."

"Death is just a change, not an end."

"I've seen you in a dream."

"What year is this?"

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #specific;#crime drama;#filmtv;#classics;#twin peaks;#supernatural drama;

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cainluvr69 · 4 months

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Surely, We Can Make Miracles Chapter 23

Previous Chapter

Cain: …kh…

Chloe: I can't…breathe…

Hwylryn: Of course not. This is the bottom of the ocean. Children of man aren't meant to live here. So can you hurry back to land already? Anyway… I guess I should be getting back to Shylock now.

Rustica: …My apologies, but… I'd like you to accompany us for just a bit longer. <Amo…> …gh!

Chloe: Rustica…!

Hwylryn: Nope, you don't get to do that. Your singing makes me start daydreaming. The next whirlpool is going to take you right up to the surface. Don't try to fight it. It's pointless. And it'll only rip you up.

Rutile: …Hwylryn…! Please, listen to what I have to say…

Hwylryn: I'll see you tomorrow. On land. Now withdraw.

Cain: …I won't…let you…! Uwaaahhh…!

Rutile: Aaahhh…!

Rustica: …Chloe…!

Chloe: Rus… Everyone…!

Natalie?: <Cure Memini>

Hwylryn: …Oh, my.

Cain: …You…you're… The lady from earlier…?!

Natalie?: … Excuse me…?

Cain: You were really a wizard?!

Natalie?: Excuse me? The fact that you can see me should give you all the answers you need.

Cain: …Huh? I mean, we got pretty touchy-feely earlier.

Natalie?: We did?

Cain: Huh?

Natalie?: Hah?

Cain: …You're Owen!

Natalie?: Sir Knight. Don't tell me you did something unbecoming of a knight to this woman.

Cain: Of course I didn't! I just didn't have a handkerchief, so…

Owen: You don't even have something like that? Chloe, can you believe this. Cain doesn't have a handkerchief.

Chloe: …sniff…Owen…

Owen: Heh. What, did this guy make you cry? What a wretched sea snake you are.

Hwylryn: Oho. Something interesting showed up.

Owen: I'm going to turn you into dog food. <Cuare Morito>

Hwylryn: I don't think that little puppy's tummy can fit me.

Owen: …kh… (This guy is…strong…!)

✦✧☾✧✦

Lennox?: …!

Faust: … (Leno's moving his arms the same way the mermaids with spears did, now that he has one at hand…)

Shino: Faust, watch out! Lennox is good with a lance!

Faust: …I know that…!

Lennox?: …!

Faust: …Waugh…!

Heathcliff: Mr. Faust…! (He forced Faust against the reef, and now he's lifting his spear…!) (He's going to stab him…!) Lennox, stop! Please, don't hurt him…!

Lennox?: …

Heathcliff: …He stopped…

Shino: Lennox…

Faust: … …Leno…

Lennox?: …… …Lord…st…

Faust: …! Leno…!

Lennox?: …!

Faust: …?!

Shino: Stop, Lennox! Don't hurt him…! You'll regret it until the day you die if you do…!

Lennox?: … ……. …

Shino: You can't! Put the lance down…!

Lennox?: …!

Faust: Leno?! Why did you stab your own leg…?! Stop! Stop, let go of it…!

Lennox: …gh…

Faust: Leno! Leno…! Stop it, your leg's already hurt enough…!

Lennox: …Fau…st… …Lord Faust…

Faust: …Leno…

Heathcliff: Mr. Faust! We finished the circle!

Shino: All we need to do is scatter the firstlight salt… Done! <Matzah Sudipas>!

Heathcliff: <Repsev Aivulp Sunos>!

Faust: … <Salliuqnart Mulcredo>!

✦✧☾✧✦

Lennox: Hah… …Haah… …

Faust: Leno…!

Lennox: …Lord Faust… Woah…!

Faust: …I'm so glad you're okay… Alec told me your unit might have been completely wiped out…

Lennox: Several others survived as well. Things seemed hopeless, but we still managed to return alive.

Faust: Thank god…

Lennox: …

Faust: …What's wrong?

Lennox: I'm just surprised.

Faust: By what?

Lennox: I didn't think that you'd jump on me the same way Lord Alec does.

Faust: Sorry. Are you hurt anywhere?

Lennox: No. …Haha…

Faust: What…? I don't hear you laugh very often…

Lennox: Haha… I could say the same to you.

Faust: I do laugh. More than you, at least.

Lennox: That's true…

Faust: …Haha…

Lennox: Ahaha!

✦✧☾✧✦

Lennox: … …That's right… …I'd forgotten… I found him, Courir. I found the person I'd been looking for. I need to go to him. I'm glad I got to see you again. You always trusted me. And you were always by my side. I never really spoiled you, but you still always slept next to me. I love you very, very much. And having to part with you hurts very, very much. But, I need to… Goodbye. I love you. Goodbye, Courir. I hope you can run freely as far as you want. Thank you.

✦✧☾✧✦

Faust: …Leno… Leno…!

Lennox: … …Lord Faust… Woah…!

Faust: …Thank goodness…

Lennox: …

Faust: …Sorry. I did that when I know you're injured…

Lennox: No… …Haha…

Faust: …Are you okay? He's not controlling you anymore?

Lennox: No… I should be fine now.

Shino: Lennox, are you okay?!

Heathcliff: Lennox! Do you know who we are?!

Lennox: Yes, I do. I do know. … I can't clearly recall what happened, but I'm sorry for putting you through so much trouble…

Faust: Don't say that… Let me look at your wounds. Give me your leg…

Lennox: …

Faust: Lennox…?!

Shino: Did he pass out?!

Faust: He must be completely exhausted. I should get him out of the ocean as soon as possible. The two of you must be at your limits, too.

Heathcliff: You're right… I still feel okay for right now, though.

Faust: Shino, Heathcliff.

Shino: What.

Heathcliff: What is it?

Faust: This was only possible because of the two of you. Thank you.

Shino & Heathcliff: …!

Shino: Heh, yeah!

Heathcliff: It's an honor!

Faust: Let's return to the water's surface. Vespa, can you show us the path up?

Vespa: …! …!

Heathcliff: Let's go, Shino!

Shino: Yeah!

✦✧☾✧✦

Owen: <Cure Memini>

Hwylryn: Ahaha! This is fun!

Owen: …tsk!

Rustica: I'll support you! <Amores Viesse>

Hwylryn: You're kind of annoying.

Rustica: …cough…!

Chloe: Rustica!

Rustica: ……!

Rutile: Rustica…!

Rustica: …

Rutile: Oh no…! Rustica isn't breathing!

Chloe: What do we do…?! Rustica! Rustica!

Rutile: We need to bring him to the surface!

Owen: Then get on with it. Or else your teacher's gonna turn to stone!

Chloe: But…!

Owen: Whatever, just go. You're at your limit.

Chloe: Owen…

Owen: Tch… Yeah, that was stupid. You're going to die here. Just like I thought you would.

Cain: Go, Chloe! I've got things covered here!

Rutile: I'll stay, too! Please look after Rustica for us!

Chloe: …Okay…! Thank you…! (I need to hurry! I need to hurry!) (I'm definitely going to save you, Rustica!)

Owen: Hmph… And what do the two of you think you can do?

Cain: Swordplay and magic.

Rutile: I can heal, and fly very, very fast.

Owen: Lame… Just so you know, if I die, the two of you have exactly zero chance of winning. So if I die, just run.

Cain: … No, I won't.

Rutile: I won't, either.

Owen: Super lame…

Hwylryn: Are you guys ready yet?

Owen: The lamest one here is you.

Hwylryn: I like your dog!

Owen: Shut up. <Cure Memini>

Hwylryn: Let's play.

✦✧☾✧✦

Torta di Cocco Shopkeeper: Here, it's finished baking.

Riquet: Wahh, it looks so tasty!

Mitile: It smelled so good while it was in the oven!

Nero: Hmm… Y'think you could teach me the recipe?

Mithra: Is it done? Can I take it to the bottom of the sea now?

Mitile: N-not yet! It needs the cream and coconut on top first.

Mithra: Then can you hurry, at least?

Mitile: If you could, please!

Torta di Cocco Shopkeeper: Yes, of course.

Claudia: My, what a delicious-looking cake.

Riquet: Yes! Thank you for being willing us to let us have your cake so we could know how it tastes. I'm incredibly grateful.

Claudia: My, what a good boy you are. I'm happy I could meet you boys again, in fact. It sounds like you've helped Dianne out a lot, too.

Riquet: How is Dianne doing…?

Nero: She's talkin' to Bradley right now.

Riquet: Did she ask Bradley to help her?

Nero: Uh, somethin' like that.

Riquet: Thank goodness. She seemed to be having a very difficult time, and Bradley can be a very helpful person.

Nero: …True that.

Claudia: Both I and my sister should have realized how much Dianne was hurting so much faster than we did… No, I'm sure my sister knew. That must be why she tried to turn that story into a heartwarming tale, to try and take her pain away. But instead, that simply made Dianne feel like no one would protect her honor…

Riquet: It's a very complicated problem. Even with so much love and kindness given to her, her pain prevented her from finding her path… Guiding people is a very difficult prospect. It's important to carefully ascertain if what lies at the end of the path you lead them down will truly be good or not… Wanting someone to walk down a path is very similar to forcing them to think and act a particular way. It's frightening. I wonder what Bradley is telling her? Do you think it'd be okay if I listened in?

Nero: Nahh, that's prob'ly not a good idea. I don't think her Lordship would wanna have anyone eavesdroppin'.

Riquet: I suppose you're right…

Mithra: Excuuuuse meeee. We don't have any time to chat like this.

Nero: I know, man. Just wait a lil' bit longer. Actually, speakin' of, Claudia. There was somethin' I wanted to ask you about the disappearances…

Claudia: Yes, I suppose I'll spill the beans. I've seen a door through which I could see the past on the island's shore. I can't help but wonder if that door isn't related to the disappearances.

Riquet: A door to the past… That story we heard was real? Did you really see the past?

Claudia: No, it was just an illusion.

Mitile: What kind of illusion did you see?

Claudia: A man I fell in love with many years ago stepped through it and told me he loved me.

Mitile: I… I see.

Claudia: But he'd never said those words to me before, not even once. It was very obvious it was just an illusion. We had a good relationship, and he was a good friend. But though I fell in love with him, his status was far too high… He already had a fiancee before we even met. And yet, here is what I thought to myself. Perhaps if I open that door, I can see him again… Were it twenty years earlier, I imagine I would've found myself drawn to that door despite myself.

Riquet: Why not now?

Claudia: Because the paint I drew up my dream with has long since dried.

Riquet: You painted your dream…?

Claudia: The things that make your heart tremble and dance are what make your dreams shine so brightly, like light on a freshly-painted canvas. He was the one who said that to me. The paint of my dream has dried, and my heart has calmed down and put itself in its place, and so… I can't go back to such fresh and youthful excitement, not when I'm so afraid of so much as brushing against it, much less taking it into my hands directly. It's like appreciating how a cake is decorated before demolishing it with your fork, to put it another way.

Riquet: I…think I understand…

Claudia: Because the paint of my dream had already dried, and left it calm and quiet, hearing him say that didn't make my heart dance. It was an odd feeling, both lonely and relieving at the same time.

Riquet: Like looking at your plate after you've finished your cake?

Claudia: Yes. It's not like being scared of destroying something, but more like having properly eaten and savored it instead. But Dianne's dreams are still bright. They're delicate, strong, and still gasping for air. Just like fresh paint on a canvas. The idea of touching them before they're ready and smudging their colors into one she doesn't want, polluting her canvas forever, is terrifying. That's how it feels, looking at the beautiful, vivid scenery she's painted. It's as if time has stopped in place.

✦✧☾✧✦

Lennox: …ah…

Faust: Leno, are you okay? I'm going to get you to the surface soon. Just hold on tight to me.

Lennox: …Yes…Lord Faust…

✦✧☾✧✦

Dianne: …What do you mean by throwing away my fear? Are you going to cast a spell on me?

Bradley: …

Dianne: Or are you planning on providing counsel? How am I meant to do this without trembling?

Bradley: What do you think? We're here to talk about you, girl.

Dianne: …What is there to talk about…? … …Things always go so well in my imagination. …I can always make the best, safest decision for everyone, without making a single mistake in the process. I've worked ever since I was a child to become that kind of person. And yet, this is what happens instead… I'm sure my grandfather would be disappointed in me. …I'm so pathetic…

Bradley: Y'don't have to change who you are. Y'don't have to be someone you aren't.

Dianne: …But if they knew about the real me, they'd all laugh… I don't want them to laugh at me…I'm weak, and pitiful…and embarrassing…

Bradley: 'Course you don't. Who wants to be turned into a laughingstock? But I won't laugh at you. You're tryin' to fulfill your responsibilities, and that's why you're standin' here.

Dianne: …

Bradley: You good? I've got something I used to say to newbies right after they joined up, to get 'em to throw away their fear.

Dianne: Newbies…? Were you the leader of some kind of organization?

Bradley: Yeah, a bandit gang. That's why I'm a prisoner now. Still wanna hear what I have to say?

Dianne: …Yes… I want to hear you out. Please, tell me.

Bradley: Alright. Everyone's experiences protect 'em, no matter what that experience is. Failures, successes, all of 'em do the same thing. But newbies like you don't have any experience to protect yourself with. And at times like that, when y'don't have any foundation to prop yourself up with, you start doin' weird shit like this. Y'start thinkin' that if you don't protect your honor all on your own, you won't have a place to belong anymore. Even though you don't know right from left yet. So, here's what I tell 'em. You ready to jot this down? I'll protect you. I'll protect your life, your honor, your perspective. So you need to protect your comrades.

Dianne: …

Bradley: Dianne. You're about to walk out that gate and talk to the crowd, yeah?

Dianne: Yes.

Bradley: If for whatever reason you can't do it, I'll talk for you. And I'll hold that position 'til you're ready to take it from me. If anyone tries to jump on you, I'll protect you from 'em. But I've got a feelin' you'll be able to do just fine without me havin' to do a damn thing.

Dianne: …

Bradley: Remember. You're the lord of this whole big-ass castle. That ain't your average job. And you were the one who made it there. Have more faith in yourself. Anythin' else you're scared of?

Dianne: … I…don't think so… Why not…? I was so scared, but now…

Bradley: Don't hold back now. If there's anythin' worryin' you, just say it.

Dianne: … You're not lying? You're not going to betray me…?

Bradley: 'Course not. Hell, if people found out I turned on a little lass like you, that'd just make me more infamous and not in a good way. I'm not gonna betray you, Dianne. On my honor, I'll protect your honor. Now step forward. The first step's always the scariest. The rest'll be a piece of cake. Don't be scared. I'm right next to you.

Dianne: …sniff…okay… …I understand. I'm going now!

Bradley: Hell yeah! You got this!

Next Chapter

#.mhyktl #.eventtl #.main story tl #4th anni

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carefulfears · 9 months

Text

speaking of kelly's atlantic piece, this quote:

But if the show sometimes failed to give its victims enough agency, it was also startlingly aware of how powerful institutions can do the same, denying marginalized people the right to trust their own experiences, much less speak out about them.

is so much of what i'm very very attached to in the series as a survivor, i think...media can often be utopian, in a way? even if the journey is honest, the ending is structured as a goal society, something to aspire to. but personally, what i crave, is something that calls it what it is. something that shows the darker side of living with trauma.

it's kristin in 3, talking about her father beating her as child, and then mentioning that her boyfriend beats her too. the way she laughs and says, "i guess that's the way it works sometimes," while mulder looks away. her tears as she tastes her own blood one last time before sacrificing herself to escape her cycle. mulder weeping over lucy's body in oubliette, but understanding that maybe it was freedom, to her. even 17 years later, "the only way she could forget." (also, how mean lucy is!! the way she is so uninterested in using what happened to her for the sake of Helping Others!! how brutally she wears her trauma on her sleeve!! she's cared for anyway, she's mourned anyway.)

in monday, pam is trapped in her partner's deadly decisions, the only way to stop the destruction is to throw herself in front of it. in fallen angel, a young mother exclaims to scully that she can't "afford the truth," to speak out would be to lose her fragile standing, her ability to feed her child. for abductees, if you're a woman, to question what happened to you is to die. the "miracle cure" is actually just replacing your violation in the back of your neck, to surrender.

maybe it's bleak but it's honest, it's an acknowledgement, in a world where people don't want to acknowledge the long-term affects or brutality of suffering.

#dont mind me im hungover and miserable and went off my meds #txf.txt #live-blogging my descent #this is very much just my own personal relationship to it etc etc #but i do really love it and am very affected by it #i think it just makes me feel really really really crazy when everything focuses on something very positive and forced #like to make others feel better #but i find it so refreshing and oddly comforting when something says...no it's really bad. and it's okay to feel that it's really bad.#even inadvertently as i'm sure it is on txf as people love to remind me every time i talk about literally anything on this show #but i don't care if it was on purpose or not it's mine now and it's important to me!! anyway #also ik the quote cited was referencing marginalization on a larger scale and institutions it just reminds me of this sense of like #...this is how it is...#like i love that about this show. this is how it is. this is how the world is. look at it.

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currenthyperf1xat1ons · 4 months

Text

here’s some out of context song lyrics i think relate to malevolent podcast/john and arthur/their situations as a way to convince you to listen to the podcast (and listen to the songs too ig):

the entire song ‘metaphor’ by the crane wives

“you silence them all, just remember which fragment you keep them in” - gold by james marriott

“I been feeling this awful since I hit bottom and said ‘hand me my shovel, I'm going in’” - half decade hangover by will wood

“i’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife” - take me to church by hozier

“please believe me when i say i poured my whole past down the drain, say that a second chance is a chance i could take” - half decade hangover by will wood

“I still don't know who you are, I only know that I'm still lonely. That morbid sort where even company can't cure me and the more you reassure, the less I trust” - against the kitchen floor by will wood

“there’s really just one thing that we have in common, neither of us will be missed” - saint bernard by lincoln

“but i’ve never felt more comfortable in the concept of things ending” - ramblings of a lunatic by bears in trees

“well aren’t we ‘us’ sharing pronouns now? so how could we separately heal?” - when somebody needs you by will wood

“are we allies or enemies? this will be the death of me” - allies or enemies by the crane wives

“see how the brain plays around, and you fall inside a hole you couldn't see […] Someone help me understand what's going on inside my mind” - the mind electric by miracle musical

“when it all turns you sour, only love can turn you back” - caleb trask by the crane wives

“and they'd find us in a week when the cattle show fear, after the insects have made their claim, after the foxes have known our taste, I'd be home with you” - in a week by hozier

“i’m sick of your kind, and i know that you won’t find me on the other side” - the other side by james marriott

oh also if yall have any more song recs pls drop them i need to be insane /pos

spoilers for part 20 beyond ⚠️⚠️⚠️

“don’t you think it’s kind of cute that I died right inside your arms tonight, that i’m fine even after i have died because it was in your arms i died” - arms tonite by mother mother

i had to include it 😋😋😋

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #song lyrics #song lyrics relating to malevolent podcast #will wood #the crane wives #hozier #james marriott #i am way too fixated on malevolent so here have this brainrot #i am *so* scared for them!!!#if my one mutual sees this hi bestie this is for you!! enjoy malevolent!! (u are not prepared for what’s coming)

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coolmayordamien · 8 months

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Some sweet, angsty Abestache for my beloved @willywarfy

"Don't wanna live a life that is comprehensive; cause seeing clear would be a bad idea."

Being with Wilford is an experience. Usually a good one, sometimes a frightening one, and frequently a painful one. But Abe would rather take a bullet to the heart than spend another moment without him.

He knows which one hurts more, trust him.

Again, it's usually good. Great, even. The happiest that he's ever been in his life, probably. Wilford is, in many ways, perfect for him.

Sometimes Abe will be sitting at his desk, pouring over case files with a glass of whiskey, and he'll look up to see his lover stretched out on the sofa (three guesses on who had decided that his office needed a sofa) with his hands behind his head and a shit-eating grin plastered all over his face. It always takes the detective off-guard when Wil just appears out of nowhere, even after all of this time.

"I was thinking about you," he'll explain, and Abe will realize that he is a goner. Because Wilford can (and sometimes does) spend the whole day stepping out from around corners or out of closets (and on one memorable occasion, falling out of the fridge) and right into his detective's arms, simply because he can't stop thinking about Abe.

It's a nice feeling, knowing just how often he crosses this man's mind. The detective has spent years, although he could not say precisely how many, consumed by thoughts of Wilford Warfstache, in one form or another. Obsessing over him, hunting him, desperate to force him to explain his actions. Cross-referencing alibies, keeping tabs on every single person who had managed to survive those awful events-

Getting too caught up in the details, focusing on the minutae of it all.

-devoting every moment of his life to this one man.

Things aren't so different now that they're an item, as a matter of fact. Abe still spends most of his time tracking his mustachioed maverick down, trying to get useful information out of him. And obsessing over Wil, of course. It's just a healthier, more enjoyable obsession now.

But it's not all fun and games. They're not a pair of springtime lovers, sound of mind and body, cured of their every imperfection by the miracle of love.

They're people. Flawed, damaged, traumatized people. And they share a lot of history together.

Sometimes when Wilford appears out of thin air, it doesn't just startle Abe; it terrifies him. He'll feel his heart begin to pound and will remember how it felt to drown in his own blood. He'll choke, tears streaming down his face as he fumbles for the gun, and it is not Wilford who is reaching to steady him but a wild-eyed Colonel with a 357 Magnum and his partner is right there he can't let them die not this time not again-

Sometimes Wil remembers things that he is supposed to forget, and forgets things that he is supposed to remember. Every so often he'll sort of...wake up. He'll stop whatever he's doing, his beautiful eyes losing their usual intensity as they scan the room, unfocused and afraid. Abe knows what he is looking for.

"They're not here, Wil," he'll say softly. The man with the pink mustache will startle, his face twisting up suspiciously. If Abe is lucky, Wilford will not recognize him.

"Where are they, detective?" William demands angrily on days that Abe is not lucky. "Where's Celine? Where's Damien? Where are my friends?"

"They're- they're not here," he stammers, because he promised that he would never lie to his lover, even when the truth only hurts him.

Once, Abe had lost his temper. Wil had been frightening him, had cornered him by the doorway and it was too much like what had happened before. He had snapped, grabbing him by the shoulders and shouting, "They're dead! They're gone and they are NEVER COMING BACK, no matter how many times we do this!"

Wil had shot him. Again.

That was...a very bad night indeed. Abe doesn't like thinking about it, remembering the pain of the bullet and the pain of the betrayal, knowing that he couldn't really die again but not being able to stop himself from crying out as his blood dripped onto the floor, as William became Wilford once again and screamed in horror at what he had done, crying and laughing and shaking as he pressed his bare hands against Abe's wound to staunch the bleeding that had never really begun, because it had never really stopped.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Wil rambled, his hands and sleeves turning pink with blood. "I didn't mean- I'm so sorry, I didn't know that it was loaded-"

Abe wonders who Wilford sees when he's like that. The District Attorney, maybe. It can't be Abe himself. William had absolutely meant to kill him.

Sometimes Abe looks at the man he loves and thinks, 'Murderer. You're in love with a murderer, you filthy traitor, what would everyone think? Are you crazy?'

Wilford always hears him when he wonders if he's crazy. Abe has just about given up on trying to figure out how he does it. But it's alright, because he only takes Abe in his arms, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead, his cheek, his mouth.

"Don't ever let anyone tell you that you're crazy," Wilford says strongly, a beautiful, mad grin on his face. "Not even yourself. I think that you might be in need of a little fun, sweetheart."

As they dance together on the stage, lights flashing, music blaring, Abe knows that everything is going to be alright. He's got what he needs; a man who can bring a little color into his world, a little madness into his life. A little bit of pain as well, true, but that just makes these few perfect moments all the sweeter.

"I love you," Abe says suddenly, and the joy on Wilford's motherlovin' face at those words--he would be happy if he could make Wil smile like that every day for the rest of time.

So he does.

#markiplier egos #who killed markiplier #wkm #wilford warfstache #markiplier fanfiction #wilford motherloving warfstache #markiplier warfstache #warfstache #abe the detective #abestache #angst #angst with a happy ending

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 9 months

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what if there was a vampire therapist carlisle made edward go to after his attempted suicide?

BA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Ahem, sorry, anon, it's just. Ah, that's so very beautiful for a few reasons.

Standard Disclaimer

Obviously, therapy is a wonderful thing as is taking care of your mental health. There's far too much stigma around mental health and therapy in popular culture and absolutely seek out a therapist when needed.

Now, with that, we can get into why I don't think this would be a miracle cure all for Edward.

Why is This a Bad Idea

The thing about therapy is that for it to truly be effective there are a few things required.

First, you have to be able to trust your therapist. You're potentially telling this person deep personal shit, often all the way back to your childhood, and uncovering things about yourself you may despise. It is a hard and grueling process to evaluate yourself and change for the better, and while by law a therapist cannot reveal your secrets you still want to be able to trust that person to truly help you and be sympathetic to you.

Second is that you have to recognize that there is a problem and you have to want to change and approach it even if it's not simply difficult but agonizing. People who are forced into going to therapy by well-meaning relatives/society are often very resistant to the entire concept and will make a point of not addressing what they need to. Sometimes, people are ready to acknowledge a problem, but they're not ready to do what they need to to face it or acknowledge what the problem is.

Which brings us to Edward Cullen.

First, who is he going to trust?

Edward can't talk to a human therapist as he'd have to talk in circles around the issues at hand. He wouldn't be able to discuss anything related to vampirism and while he might come up with decent metaphors he'd ultimately feel the human has no idea what they're talking about or truly understand why Edward was driven to suicide. Not to mention, of course, that Edward's quite contemptuous of us humans. He envies us from a distance but he tends to think of humans as slow, vapid, mayflies who simply do not match his intellectual prowess. He would instinctively feel better than whatever therapist they sat him in front of because, you see, Edward has five B.A.s which is more than the doctor's three degrees.

Then we get to vampires. First, even if there is a vampire psychologist, we're likely not looking at one who is up to date with modern research and therapy practices. Psychology, perhaps even more than medicine (and that's saying something), is a field that has undergone revolutionary changes within decades and has... some sketchy history. If we're looking at a psychologist who was turned around the time of Freud or even Jung and has been eating people and not paying attention to much research since... Not sure I'd recommend them as a therapist. Most importantly: Edward would know they're out of date and unable to get back up to date as most vampires can't integrate or even get close to human society as their control is that bad/they'd have no idea how to navigate a modern university library.

And worse than being out of date, they're not on the diet. If Edward's contemptuous of us humans he's extremely contemptuous of vampires not on the diet (to be fair, for a much more decent reason here). Even friends of the family, Edward sees a marked difference from those who embrace their vampirism and those who do not. Edward would be appalled at the very notion of being offered any kind of moral or advice period from a vampire who goes out and murders a human every two weeks.

That means that the therapist is either in the family (Rosalie with her twelve degrees) or is in the Denali. The family is obviously a terrible idea for so many reasons the least of which is your family member cannot be your therapist as they are too closely involved. (Adding to it that the qualified one, to a point, would probably be Rosalie and Edward's talking to the woman he thinks is a vapid, vain, shrew and telling her how awful she is to her face. It'd go well.)

The Denali, while a little better in that Edward trusts them and sees them as family, are still too close in that Edward would be horrified if their opinion of him lessened and if that news leaked to his family. He can't talk to them either.

So basically, Edward's out of therapists.

Even if he wasn't though, while Edward acknowledges consistently that he has issues in canon, he doesn't seem ready to address them and certainly not with other people. His self hatred is something he buries deep, only deeper is what he views as his vampiric self that lusts for human blood and calculated the cold blooded murder of Bella Swan.

Edward is terrified of himself and the last thing he wants to do is open that box up let alone with either a strange he doesn't respect or a beloved family member who can never ever know.

(Not to mention there wouldn't be any vampire psychologists/therapists as vampires are hedonistic individuals who don't even form a murder society who are either warring with each other, avoiding one another, or murdering their meals who look much like them every two weeks.

Look, they barely have a vampire doctor, and that's because Carlisle's fucking weird.)

Look, it's just never going to happen.

Slight Caveat/We Sort of See This

There is the fact that canonically Edward does ask his family the very awkward and terrible questions of how to make love to a breakable human woman to which they appear to give increasingly beautiful and bizarre answers but that's not the same thing as talking about Edward himself.

There's also Edward's many confrontations with Alice when, thanks to her visions, she has insight into what Edward may or may not do and historically doesn't judge him for it and even confronts him.

Edward also chose to have sex with Bella anyway even when it seems implied that Carlisle strongly suggested it was a very bad idea.

However, more often than not, he chooses not to listen to her as he respects her visions except when they tell him things he doesn't want to hear such as "you will either turn Bella or eat her". Then her visions don't count.

This is about as close as we ever get to Edward getting therapy.

But Alright, Carlisle Sends Edward to Uncle Eleazar

If we have to choose a candidate, then it's going to be one of the Denali. Trouble is, trouble's going down with the Denali post New Moon/During Eclipse in a very awkward way. See, Laurent was tragically murdered by shapeshifters, and when the Cullens pleaded for help in attacking the newborn army they refused as the Cullens wouldn't let them commit genocide. The Cullens then only survived likely because of the help of teenagers, because the Denali blew them off, and the Denali on their end didn't get to avenge Laurent.

So, there's really bad feeling on both sides. Obviously, this smooths over in time for the wedding but uh that felt very reconciliatory and awkward.

So, sending Edward up for therapy during all of this would be really weird if not spark a complete family feud that they never recover from.

Not only that, but Tanya infamously comes onto Edward every chance she gets (we even see this in Midnight Sun and it is hilarious), so... Tanya's right out. Irina is also in deep mourning over Laurent so she's out. Kate is likely still very upset about the not murdering the shapeshifters thing which means...

Eleazar's probably the likely choice.

Eleazar in canon is presented as kind of Bizarro Carlisle. He had a similar history of spending some time with the Volturi, he's an intellectual as well, and is also at least presented as an extreme pacifist. Edward directly compares him to Carlisle and has a lot of respect for him canonically and welcomes his input.

I have no canon to back me up, but if any of the Denali would present themselves as qualified to be a therapist, it'd be Eleazar. He'd also likely point to his time spent evaluating gifts as a kind of coaching people through.. things... (Is he qualified, probably not, but that's not important).

So, we have our therapist who is qualified(?), doesn't eat humans, whom Edward respects, and who isn't considered a 'direct' family member that Edward may feel he's able to open up to (especially as Eleazar was in the Volturi, had started off the diet, so can understand things like blood lust.)

However, even taking out @therealvinelle and my constant unfounded slandering of Eleazar, I doubt this would work out as neither would delve into what's really Edward's problem.

Edward would blame his suicidal tendencies on being a vampire: he is a demon ergo there is no purpose to his life and if Bella dies so does he. I just imagine Eleazar shrugging and acknowledging that yes, life is sad sometimes, and losing a mate is sad and hey did you hear about Marcus?

I just don't get them really digging into the why of why Edward wanted to kill himself so badly. It's not something either would want to confront and on the surface, it looks like they have their answer: Edward views vampirism as so loathsome that he can't turn Bella and he can't exist without her. Ergo. Death.

The only thing that changes is Edward spends a weekend in Denali at some point during Eclipse.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #edward cullen #anti edward cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

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positivelybeastly · 3 months

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I feel like X-force Hank needs either a hug and some tea or a really rough fuck. Now mind you I haven’t got to that plot line yet so I could be wrong

"I require neither, what I require is your absolute silence."

So, the way I interpret X-Force Beast - and this is entirely my interpretation, by the way, mostly because I don't think there's much to analyse about Percy's version, he just does whatever's most evil and bloody at any juncture - is that what he would really need, what might actually fix him, is someone who's willing to just.

Convince him, to start caring about other people and himself again.

And it's hard, because he would immediately claim, I care about plenty of things, I care about the security of Krakoa, I care about keeping its denizens safe, but that neatly sidesteps the fact that he fucking loathes every single one of them.

In his view, every single person who lives on, benefits from, draws some enjoyment from, Krakoa, is an ungrateful bastard who owes him. Not just for X-Force, but for the miracle drugs. For the Legacy Virus cure. For helping keep the multiverse from imploding during New Avengers. For twenty long years of helping when he was asked, and, it's begun to feel like, never getting the same in return.

And every time they tell him they hate him, every time they sneer, he just gives them this look

because he doesn't care that they hate him. They hated him before he was like this, he knows so, you told him you hated him. You told him in the ways that actually matter.

You told him you were willing to hand him over to SHIELD for crimes against nature.

You told him that he should just get over his PTSD.

You told him that he should be grateful that you made the hard decisions that got him tortured.

You told him he was a deserter to his race.

You got him fired from the job he'd been wanting, teaching at Harvard University, for a full decade.

You hit him in the back with a lightning bolt because he didn't want to go to war.

You imprisoned him in a cage.

I can go on. There's plenty more examples.

Yes, he fucking hates every single last one of you. Because you told him you hated him, and he believed you, because you showed him.

Because, like, fuckin' Domino and Wolverine and whoever the fuck can say that Hank was always a fucking rotten apple, but this man had the fucking greatest capacity for kindness of any of the X-Men, he was able to show empathy for fucking Mister Sinister of all people, and you did this to him.

So, the rough fuck would probably physically satisfy him, but it wouldn't fix him. Not really. It doesn't convince him that his life is worth changing, it doesn't convince him that he's wrong to think that his body is a shell that his mind is the only useful part of it. It doesn't convince him that he's wrong that the X-Men have always hated him, always used him.

And a hug and a cup of tea also wouldn't work because he would regard it as a preamble to wanting something, because that's what it ALWAYS is. It's always walk up to Hank, demand a solution to something impossible, and walk away.

And they don't really care what it costs Hank to do that. Most of the time, it's probably not that tricky for him to do, he's a fucking mega genius, but then there are the ones where you look at him, and you have to ask him to do something that he really doesn't want to fucking do, because he is, at his heart, a gentle man who doesn't like to hurt people, and you keep. Putting. Him. In. These. Situations.

Of course he fucking snapped. Of course he fucking lost it. Of course he doesn't trust you. Who ever thinks, hmm, you know what, I should check up on Hank, he's probably not doing so hot?

He'll be fiiiiiiiiiine. Hank's always fiiiiiiiiiine.

Except for when he really isn't.

So, what does he need? What could fix him?

Someone who doesn't have a history of needing his help, perhaps.

Someone who doesn't judge him for what he's done.

Someone who thinks the world of him.

Someone who genuinely cares for, and loves him.

Someone who can make him smile.

Someone who he feels comfortable telling everything.

Sound like someone you know?

#Anonymous #verse: each of us is a nest of lies #outofmuffins

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indigowallbreaker · 24 days

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caspar/ashe with 66 from the kiss prompts?

Took this opportunity to inflict my "giving an ungrateful cat his medicine" woes on someone else lol. Reading this back, you can interpret it as pre or post time skip, so I'll leave that up to you dear reader!

[prompt rules]

[more Beagles stories]

66: Staring At The Other’s Lips, Trying Not To Kiss Them, Before Giving In

It was only by a miracle of the Goddess, Ashe assumed, that Caspar was finally able to hold the cat long enough for Ashe to give it the medicine. It hissed and spit at them before eventually curling into a ball in Ashe's lap to rest from the evasion tactics it had been pulling off all afternoon.

"You're lucky you're cute," Caspar grumbled. He was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Ashe, glaring at the cat and holding a cloth over his bleeding forearm.

Ashe chuckled. "It's only for a week. Maybe it'll get used to it before we're done."

Caspar shifted his glare to Ashe. "Easy for you to say. You didn't have it throwing all 20 claws at your torso." To underline his point, he removed the cloth from his arm to show off a long line of oozing marks interspersed with tiny bites.

"Do you want me to hold it tomorrow?" Ashe offered.

"No way, I'm not making you go through this."

Ashe laughed. Always the hero. Careful to not disturb the cat, Ashe capped the medicine Marianne had given him. Hopefully it would kick in soon-- the poor cat had been suffering from an infected wound on its paw. One week didn't sound like long enough to cure it but Ashe trusted Marianne. And anyway, everything seemed possible with Caspar by his side.

"You'll be just fine soon, little buddy," Ashe said, petting the big orange cat. It purred, content, and Ashe happily lost himself to the sensation of running his finger through that long fur.

Shifting beside him caused Ashe to look up. Caspar was staring intently at him, specifically his lips. Ashe felt his smile fall. They had known each other long enough at this point that Ashe could tell Caspar was thinking hard about something. Trying to come to a decision. Scared to act one way or the other...

When Caspar didn't move, Ashe took the chance and moved first.

He caught Caspar's lips with his own, pressing into him, one hand still resting on the unbothered cat. Caspar jerked his head back. Ashe had to snort at his bewildered expression. "A-Am I wrong?" Ashe manage through a knot of nerves. "You really-- You looked ready to kiss me so--"

"I'm always ready to kiss you!" Caspar blurted out, causing the cat to dig its claws into Ashe's leg. "I've wanted to kiss you for a long time! I just, I don't know, seeing you looking so happy just now... I thought I could actually do it this time."

Ashe gently tugged Caspar to him again. A belly rub soothed the cat, and another kiss seemed to soothe Caspar. "You can do it whenever you want," Ashe assured him.

Grinning, cheeks as red as Ashe's own, Caspar did just that.

#ohheyitsyouagain #caspar von bergliez #ashe ubert #ashe duran #caspashe #fire emblem three houses #beagles run #slightly different take on this prompt!#keeps things fresh

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thesherrinfordfacility · 7 months

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how in the world do you do it? i sent that ask yesterday and i'm still making my way through your masterpost kind of reeling- almost every moment i paused the show (s2 especially) and thought, that's weird, but couldn't put my finger on why, you've talked about, and expanded on, and it's all so well put. you're slowly curing the countless little ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ bouncing around in my head. it's so satisfying, too, to see all those asks with LWA disagreeing with popular fanon. i'd been thinking it was only me.

i'm curious about your interpretation of the bullet catch, specifically aziraphale's motives. i scrolled through a few of your tags and didn't find much about it, but i might have missed something.

i've seen people say it was retaliation for the holy water request (ooc?), or some deliberate test of crowley's willingness to go through with it (and so go through with their relationship, in spite of the danger, or something). then, of course, there's the generally accepted afaik "elaborate trust fall, general aziraphalean ridiculousness" version, but convincing somebody to nearly shoot you seems like a lot (understatement), even then.

it comes across to me as a bit cruel, if that makes sense. this isn't reliant on crowley not wanting to shoot him, or just doing well under pressure. if he's never even shot a gun before, this is almost entirely luck, and i don't buy that the only thing at stake is paperwork, however much they repeat it to themselves. crowley's hands wouldn't have been shaking so badly. if he messes up, he's gonna hurt aziraphale, or have to watch his human body die. it's so fucked.

maybe it could be said that, without their miracles working, they knew they were being watched, and had to continue, but i don't buy that either. aziraphale didn't act like he felt threatened afterwards until furfur showed up- was doing the complete opposite.

that's all i've got for now, but yeah. this blog is awesome and i'm so here for your sideburn theories. have a nice day pls

oh anon✨ you're so sweet!!! i really dk about all that, i just like chatting shit and trying to spot patterns/contradictory stuff/things that don't make sense beyond the script (if that makes sense), so whilst you all might not get Smart out of me you will at least get Passionate🤌

(also YES for LWA appreciation, they deserve it 💕 - still dont know why they do it but im just happy to be involved)

ooooh okay bullet catch. couple of thoughts from me:

aziraphale was happy to go on stage and try to ameliorate the situation between crowley and mrs h (my beloved), but reticent to scope out any Showy-Offy tricks from goldstones shop

crowley hyped aziraphale up enough to go into the shop and find a new trick to perform; hes the angel who fooled nefertiti and is performing on the West End Stage, after all!!!

aziraphale is taken in by the bullet catch trick upon seeing it, but was previously happy to consider another trick. he also, presumably, wasnt aware of the element of trusting a stooge until it was told to him

aziraphale persuades crowley to perform it, even when crowley is obviously uncomfortable, and crowley isn't truthful with him re: firearms experience

crowley agreed, providing that they make use of their miracles if it goes tits up

aziraphale doesnt inform crowley on any of the plan; crowley is notably caught unawares when called out in the audience

miracles don't work, neither of them stop the performance. crowley once again still very uncomfortable, literally shaking on stage, and yet seems to calm at aziraphale ploughing on ahead.

so okay, yeah, ive basically just recited the scene - but a few conclusions:

aziraphale doesn't want to let crowley down or embarrass him by backing out of the act, or indeed by messing it up

i think there's probably some element of aziraphale doing it for himself (self-esteem), but in a way that, post-Realisation, he is showing off a bit... it strikes me that crowley wasn't fully cognizant of this little hobby of his, and aziraphale is taking a moment to do something that (bless him, he thinks) he's good at, and wow crowley as a result

i don't think the holy water request came into his motivations at all, for the same reasons you said. however, it is an appropriate mirror to the holy water request narratively; i think it will come back up in s3, and i think the bullet catch will at least emotionally inform aziraphale on whether to give crowley the water or not

as for crowley's motivations in going along with it; i think to some extent he's paying back the favour, but mainly that it's truly just to make aziraphale happy. a step beyond that; to him, aziraphale is in need of something, and that is something aziraphale is only trusting crowley to deliver. crowley of course assumes miracles will be their safety net, so agrees to be aziraphale's knight in shining armour (*cough* playing hero)

when the miracles fail, aziraphale still has trust in crowley to do it properly. crowley however is left to trust in aziraphale's trust in kind. he still wants to do this for him, but the stakes are a bit higher in that he could shoot his best friend (?) in the face and not see him again on earth for any number of years (imo, it's never, ever been about the paperwork). but aziraphale isn't backing down; is crowley about to disappoint him? of course not.

tl;dr: they're both arseholes for their respective lacks of transparency with each other, deliberately put themselves in harm's way, and it was by sheer luck that they pulled it off. but it is a huge seismic shift in how they see each other, and i don't think we've been shown/suggested the full implications of the whole thing just yet.

thank you so much for your kind words, they honestly make my day!!! hope you have a lovely day too!!!✨💕

#good omens #ask #s2 meta #aziraphale meta #crowley meta #flashback meta #1941 spec

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