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#do i have certain things we know i'm going to like just from the cover
dedalvs · 1 day
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Is there something up with the High Valyrian wiki?
https://wiki.languageinvention.com/index.php?title=High_Valyrian_language
I've had this link bookmarked since ages. I can't seem to load the page. I've tried all sorts of browsers and it is still not working. i wanted to get back into actively learning HV again and duolingo is kinda annoying so. Is there a different page/resource the wiki has moved on to? I also seem to recall an old forum for HV with a bunch of really good resources for it. is it possible for you to provide a link? Thanks so much anyway!!
Good question! This wiki, which you can find here..
...is a labor of love—not just from me, but from a team of dedicated individuals who want to get information about my languages up somewhere more or less permanent, editable by many, and all in one place.
For years I have had a hosting plan from DreamHost. For a fixed fee, DreamHost allows you, essentially, infinite storage. I've got a dozen or so websites hosted by the same DreamHost account. I have to pay for the urls (a yearly fee; everyone pays these), but the hosting itself is covered, no matter if I had one website or a hundred.
Creating a wiki that would function like Wiktionary was my idea. I love Wiktionary, and love the idea behind it. For example, let's say you wanted to look up mate. This is an English word. It's also a subjunctive form of matar "to kill" in Spanish. It's also the word for "saliva" in Swahili. It's also "dead" in Tahitian. It's also a word in several other languages. It's kind of cool to take an abstract form—going just by spelling—and seeing that it's a word in a bunch of different languages, all with different etymologies (some related, of course. For example, mate has something to do with death in a lot of Oceanic languages. In Hawaiian it's make, which looks like an entirely different English word!).
In Dothraki, the word tor is the number four. It comes from Proto-Plains *tur (and so would be tur in Lhazareen). It's also the word for "tower" in Hen Linge (this is one of the words coined by Andrzej Sapkowski, not created by me). In Noalath, from The Shannara Chronicles, it's the word for "wolf", and in Shiväisith, the language I created for the Dark Elves from Thor: The Dark World, it's the word for "sword". While it's true I didn't create the Hen Linge word, I created the others, so you can see it's a form I'm fond of, where the shape is possible.
Anyway, that's kind of cool! And that was the point of the site.
As it happens, the High Valyrian section of the site is…massive. To give you an idea, at the moment, the wiki has over 220,000 pages. Most of those are High Valyrian pages. This is because there's a dedicated team for High Valyrian that has added pages for every single noun, adjective, and verb inflection for every existing word on the wiki. To give you an idea, every verb of High Valyrian has around 200 forms (ipradagon "to eat", ipradan "I eat", ipradā "you eat", ipradas "s/he/it eats", etc.). Every single form for every single verb has its own page. This was accomplished primarily with a program that populated the inflectional pages, but however they got there, they're there.
Certain things on the wiki are templates that need to go through and "check" every single page. Additionally, a webcrawler goes through and checks every single page on the wiki. This requires a lot of RAM. As a result, periodically, the entire website just...shuts down.
Obviously this is not cool. I asked DreamHost about it, and though we have infinite space, we don't have infinite RAM. The first step was to disable all web crawlers. You know about SEO, and how you can do things to increase the page rank of your site? Well, we needed to do the opposite. We needed to make the site disappear from the net, effectively. And we did. This is why even if you type "David J. Peterson wiki language invention" into Google you get nothing. It's like we don't exist. We're there, but you have to know we're there and go to the site specifically. That helped, but our own programs still shut things down.
The second step was to get a private server (technically a virtual private server) for the site. This cost me an extra $25 a month ($300 a year) from what I was already paying. This definitely helped, but sometimes things get to be a bit too much, and so the site still shuts down. This is what you experienced.
You know how Wikipedia begs you for money every year? It's because of this. It's one thing to create an awesome resource; it's another thing for people to actually use it.
Hosting already costs me about $250 every two years, and every year I renew the urls for about 15 websites, which is another $300 a year. If I upgrade the VPS to the next level, it's even more money every year. And that's just me paying it.
Right now, we're in an okay spot. The site shuts down every so often, but most of the time it's more or less stable. Unless I start making a lot more money regulary, that's the way it's going to stay.
So if you go to the site and it's down, I'm very sorry, but it will be back. May take a few days, but it'll come back (as long as I'm alive, anyway).
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mythicalcoolkid · 1 year
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After too many years here I've final what hornets' nests I am not brave enough to kick
#m/cc#thought about making a certain post and decided... no... I would rather not#I am not prepared for responses to that. it might actually kill me#specifically it was:#'going gluten/dairy/food dye-free CAN improve certain neurodevelopmental things but it cannot 'cure' autism/ADHD/Tourette's'#I already know I'd get vitriol both from people claiming I think autism comes from gluten or 'needs cured' because they can't read the post#and that I'm trying to trick everyone into going gluten-free because Toxins or something and lying about a connection#(even though (neuro)dev disorders can be made worse by flaring immune issues like - oh I don't know - undiagnosed gluten intolerance?#hypersensitivity to certain food dyes?#we already know autism and ADHD in particular have HUGE correlations with gastro and immune issues#which is why some mommy bloggers genuinely do see symptom improvement from diet changes)#and from people saying 'um actually no-gluten DID cure my nephew's ADHD?? the science is on our side/big gluten is covering up the research#and I don't know if I could handle dozens of people per day telling me I'm a science denier AND a eugenist from both sides#I am simply. ADHD. and autistic. and incredibly interested in the wild amount of comorbid physical disorders that correlate with these#autoimmune and gastro issues but also loose/hypermobile joints; epilepsy; delayed sleep phase disorder; COPD; skin conditions#it's so fascinating to me and provides a huge chunk of data to run with re: the gut-brain axis#whether [neurodev] causes [other]/[other] causes [neurodev] or an underlying thing causes both is unknown#but honestly with the huge interest in the gut-brain axis and microbiome in the past decade or so#I think we're going to see a lot more research in the next thirty or forty years examining physical comorbidities with neurodev stuff#I'm probably not gonna link to research because I don't wanna just start the war anyway and I'm too tired to go back and find the articles#but the TL;DR of the tags is neurodev stuff isn't caused by gluten intolerance but if you're unknowingly aggravating a gluten intolerance#you're probably not gonna feel great and it's gonna make your symptoms worse because of the effect it has on your body#it's like a very mild long-term allergic reaction and yeah if you get rid of that it'll improve other areas (e.g. sleep cycle; irritability#so of Course it's gonna improve a bunch of things-that-get-worse-with-poor-sleep/decreased-stress-tolerance#if you were always sitting on a slightly uncomfortable chair you'd probably do a lot better if I switched the chair#just because you can focus better or you didn't know the chair was uncomfortable doesn't mean it caused your ADHD#also in this case the chair affects your hormone levels and immune response and what chemicals accidentally leak into your bloodstream#if you're interested look it up there's been a Ton of research on correlations of specific physical issues with neurodev in recent years
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baby-yongbok · 27 days
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𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒚
Fem!Felix x Fem!Reader
𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: Smut 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 3.5k 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: Your best friend is curious about a certain taste so you offer some help like a good friend would. 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: Oral sex, Rule 63 - Felix is depicted as afab in this fic, 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆(𝒔): Felix is referred to as Lix & Lixie + No use of Y/n + reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡ 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕: Cherry by Lana Del Rey, This is what makes us girls by Lana Del Rey, Cola by Lana Del Rey
♡ Masterlist ♡
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 "What do you think it tastes like?" You peer up from your laptop screen, your curious eyes take in your best friend staring down at her phone screen, her platinum blonde bangs covering her furrowed brows and her glossed bottom lip caught between her teeth.
“What?” She tilts her phone towards you, showing you the filthy video she's been watching on loop for God knows how long. 
“Gosh, Lixie, in my room? Really? Right now?” A chuckle escapes you as you watch the video replay.
“I'm sorry, I know, I was just scrolling and it popped up. You know how unpredictable Twitter can be.” You only half heard what she said, you can see why she stopped to watch this video. Whoever that lucky lady is, is getting her pussy devoured in a way that you can only dream of. 
“But seriously… what do you think?”
“Uh, I actually already know what it tastes like. Well, everyone is different but -”
“Pause.” Your brown eyes shoot up to meet her wide ones. “You've done that before?” 
You can't help the blush creeping up your neck. “Yeah I did, I mean it wasn't planned and it was just -” 
“How did I never know this?” 
“I don't know but you won't find out much more if you don't let me finish.” Lix locks her phone, throwing it to the side and sitting up on her knees so that she faces you with shining eyes. Her plaid skirt rides up her thighs a bit as she gets comfortable on your bed. It’s way too short so that doesn't surprise you. It was her idea to get matching skirts but when the one she wanted was only available a size smaller than what she needed she decided to squeeze into it so that the two of you could match. 
“Start talking.”
“Okay okay uhm, it happened at my old friend's 18th birthday sleepover. It was a classic case of girls just messing around and things going too far. I went down on my friend while everyone else was sleeping, we always had some tension between us and we were both questioning if we were into girls so we just said fuck it and went down on each other.” She stares at you, blinking a couple of times as the information sinks in. “I’ve done it other times since then but that was the very first time.”
“What… does it taste like?” Her Australian accent decorates her words as they slowly fall from her lips, she bites at the inside of her cheek as she waits for your reply.
“Uh, kinda like nothing? Some girls taste kinda bitter and some kinda taste metallic? It depends on where you are hormonally but it generally tastes like licking the back of your hand.” You giggle a bit when her eyes flicker down to her hand. She makes a fist and brings it up to her lips to slowly run her tongue over the skin. You watch her closely, taking in her reaction. She licks again, closing her eyes this time and following with a low hum. 
“Then why do guys say that it tastes sweet?” Her brows are pinched together as her eyes flutter open. “I never understood that.”
“It’s just cause it sounds good I guess? It makes us feel good.” Lix sits back against the headboard to your bed and rests her head on your shoulder. You tuck your curls behind your ear so that she can get comfortable. “Have you never tasted yourself before? You don’t kiss Hyunjin after he goes down on you?”
“I mean, yeah but I just thought it would be a bit different I guess? He always says that I’m sweet so that’s what I expected.”
“I think that they say that when they really like you, ya know? Maybe Hyune likes you a lot.” The scoff that escapes her makes you chuckle, you can already tell that she’s rolling her eyes. 
“He likes everyone, he'd never actually wanna date me and that’s fine cause I’m not interested.” She’s not wrong, Hyunjin is the flirt of your friend group. He only started sleeping with Lix after they shared a drunken kiss and Lix went down on him. Ever since then he’s been trying to sweep her off of her feet but your friend isn’t easy to impress.
“Then why do you fuck him?” You turn to look down at her and she’s already looking up at you with a coy smile. 
“He’s got a big dick.” A loud laugh ripples from her throat as you stare at her with a slack jaw and big eyes. So the rumors are true? “I’m not telling you anything else.”
“Come on, you can not basically tell me that what everyone says about Hyunjin is true and then shut the conversation down!” She kicks her feet as she sinks further down onto the bed.
“I don’t wanna talk about how big Hyunjin’s dick is, I’ll show you a picture later. I wanna talk about how I think I might be into girls.”  She pauses, waiting for my reaction. 
“Oh, you are. You always have been. Everyone knows it, you’re late to your own party.” You slide down to lay next to her, resting your head on her chest. 
“No one was gonna tell me?” She chuckles, playful pushing you off of her. “Some friend you are.” She runs her fingers through your hair mindlessly as she stares up at the ceiling pondering her thoughts. “I’ve been thinking about this for so long. I already know what my pussy tastes like. I wanna know what others taste like.”
“Are you interested in anyone? Like, any girls?” A comfortable silence blankets the both of you while she thinks, her eyes trace the blemishes on your ceiling as she picks her next words.
“I don’t know, not really.” You crane your neck to look up at her but she doesn’t look at you.
“No one at all?” You whisper like you’re trying to get her to let you in on a secret. “Do you fantasize about anyone?”
“Yeah, sometimes.” She whispers back. “I’ve imagined eating someone out…it’s always the same girl.”
“Do I know her?” Lix shakes her head and you smile, sitting up a bit to get a better look at her. Her eyes stay trained on the ceiling until you ask her. “Is it me?” Her gaze slowly drifts over to meet yours. She studies your features for just a second before shaking her head, a deep cherry blush washes over her freckled cheeks as you smile down at her.
“You’re always staring at my tits, I knew it.” You tease with a laugh, falling back down against the mattress and Lix scoffs. 
“As if.” She rolls her eyes before falling into a fit of laughter with you “You’re my best friend and you’re a total babe. How could I resist? I was doomed from the start.” She puts the back of her hand against her forehead and sighs dramatically. 
“Lixie likes me, Lixie likes me.” You sing song as you tease her, poking her side and making her laugh as she swats you away. You two giggle and thrash around a bit before you’re still again, laying on your sides facing each other. 
“I’ll get over it.” She sighs, snuggling into her arm folded under her head. “It’s not like I’m in love with you, I just think you’re hot.”
“Do you think about me when you touch yourself?” She shakes her head and you smile “I think about you sometimes.” Her eyes go wide at your confession and you chuckle at her.
“Swear?” You nod, moving closer to her.
“Do you wanna know what girls taste like… or what I taste like?” You’ve been best friends with Lix long enough to recognize that look in her eyes, you know the answer to your question before she even opens her mouth. “You could… taste me if you want.”
“Now is not the time to mess with me! I’m having a crisis here.” You roll your eyes and grab her by her hip.
“I’m not messing with you, I mean it. You wanna know if you like girls and I’m a girl, this is what friends are for.” She smiles at you, shaking her head a bit as she ponders your offer.
“Are you serious?” You smile back.
“So serious.” The two of you stare at each other for a minute or two, allowing your racing heartbeats to fill the quiet that’s surrounded you. Both of you know what you want to do but who’s going to make the first move?
As if you both can to the same conclusion simultaneously you both lean in to each other, gripping the others hips and capturing your lips in a chaste kiss. Lix giggles at the contact, kicking her feet a bit as excitement surges through her. She leans in again, deepening the kiss and you sigh into it. She feels just like you thought she would and she tastes even better. Soft and sweet. 
“This is insane.” She whispers against your lips before kissing you again. “I have no clue how to eat pussy.” You both fall into a fit of laughter, clutching onto the other's waist as you struggle to find words. 
“It’s not hard at all I promise!” You wrap your fingers around her wrist gently and guide her down to your core. “Feel it first, get to know it.”
“Why are you talking about your pussy like it’s a cat?” You hike your skirt up with your other hand, revealing your cotton white panties with an obvious wet spot forming on the gusset.
“Hey, it’s my kitty and it has feelings.” You rest her hand on your pubic bone, giving her control of how far she wants to go. “Be nice to her.”
Lixie’s slowly moves her fingers over your clothed pubic bone, taking in your trimmed pubes that you’ve carefully styled into a perfect triangle. She inches her way down the inside of your thigh, her palm slightly brushes over your clit and you sigh at the feeling. Her careful touches are something that you’re new to, everyone you’ve ever been with has been rough, their touches seemed rushed and eager but not Lix. 
The feeling of her fingers brushing over your vulva brings you back to the present. Her touch is feather light as she runs two fingers over your clothed folds. She trails up and stops right at your clit, pressing a bit against it. “Oh” You kick your head back, allowing your eyes to flutter shut at the feeling. That’s one thing that you’ve always loved about being with girls, they all know where the clit is.
The feeling of the mattress dipping next to you makes you open your eyes, you watch as Lix moves further down to get a better look at where you're gushing for her. Her barely glossed lips are parted slightly as she looks you over with wide eyes. Her breathing is slow and calm despite her heart beating out of her chest with excitement. The cherry blush on her cheeks has only grown deeper now that she’s face to face with your cunt. Before you can even say anything she’s leaning into you, she places a soft but long kiss over pubic bone and your breath catches in your throat at the sight. 
“Is that okay?” Her voice is barely above a whisper and her eyes never meet yours.
“Yeah.” You let out a shaky exhale as you watch her kiss a bit lower this time. You spread your legs further and she quickly slots herself between them. Her lips brush over your inner thighs, peppering soft but sloppy kisses over the skin. As she got more comfortable she left sweet kisses over your labia, licking a bit at the wet spot forming to get a hint of your taste on her tongue. You tried to stop your hips from bucking up into her but you couldn’t help it, the closer she got to your clit the more eager you got. 
“Lixie.”  You moaned out her name and gasped as she started to tease your clit with her tongue. Her gaze is trained on  you as she kisses and licks over your panties, her wide eyes sparkle with faux innocence. You lazily grab at the blanket under you, small whimpers and restrained hums escape your throat despite your attempts at being quiet.
It’s the middle of a sunny day in May and your room is in the front of the house and your window is wide open. Your record player is playing some random song by Lana Del Rey and though it’s fitting for the situation you highly doubt that the soft music will drown out your moans. 
She breaks eye contact and pulls away so that she can observe your pussy through your ruined panties. She whimpers at the sight of your pussy under the cloth, cocoa and pink just like she imagined it.
“ ‘S so pretty.” She coos as she pinches the lips between her fingers. You moan at the pressure, rolling your hips a bit. She taps to fingers right where your clit sits under the wet cloth and you hiss, throwing your head back.
“Was that okay?” she asks quickly, pulling back a bit. “Hyunjin always does that, and I wanted to try it.”
You laugh and she follows. “You’re trying tricks on me that your fuck buddy does to you!?” She laughs louder, resting her forehead on your thigh.
“No! Well, yeah I am but I don’t have any other reference!” She continues her ministrations, running her fingers over your clit and halting your laughter immediately. Your whole body tenses in pleasure as you clench around nothing. Your body tingles with excitement as she kisses you over your panties once more. You could cum from just the thought of her doing that and now she’s here, with her mouth on your clit and you can’t help but want to explode right on her tongue.
 “Can we take these off?” she tugs at the hem of your panties and you offer an eager nod before lifting your hips to allow her to pull them off. Lix gasps as she pulls your panties down, her jaw hangs slack as she watches a string of arousal connect you to your soaked panties. She takes in the way that your cunt glistens in the spring sunshine and she swears that it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. “Is this a dream?” She mumbles under her breath but you hear her.
“It might be.” You prop yourself on your elbows, determined to watch her as she tastes you. She throws your panties to the side and spreads your pussy with two fingers. Her lust glazed eyes study you like you’re a work of art. She takes in every mole, every slight glimmer of your arousal and every clench of your tight hole. Her eyes meet yours for a second before she leans in closer. You stare down at her, not daring to break eye contact. She dips her tongue out and slowly licks a stripe up your leaking cunt. A loud moan escapes you when her eyes roll back at the taste of you, a whine leaving her throat when she swallows your essence. 
“Oh my god.” You say in unison, chuckling for just a second before falling back into the moment. She’s eager to taste you again, wasting no time dipping her tongue back out and licking up your folds.
The tip of her tongue teases your clit a bit and you buck up into her. She notes the reaction, leaning in to circle your clit with the tip of her tongue. Her eyes are on yours the entire time, she blinks up at you, drinking in your reactions to her amateur work. “ You look so pretty down there. Holy fuck, Lix.”
She feels more confident with your praise lingering in her head. She sucking your clit between her lips, laving over the sensitive bud and humming in satisfaction when you arch your back off of the mattress with a loud moan. Her small hands press against your inner thighs to keep them open for her as she runs her tongue up and down your folds. She flicks, licks and sucks all of the right spots, fucking you with her tongue once she’s truly comfortable.
You’re a moaning mess, your body trembles with pleasure as she works you towards your climax. Her name tumbles from your lips like a prayer and your fingers grab at the hair at the crown of her head. You’re so close but you don’t want this to end.
“Y-you’re really good at that.” She swirls her tongue over your clit, writing the alphabet with her tongue and you shudder at the dragged out moan she offers in response. You can feel your orgasm creeping up your spine, the familiar warmth starts to wash over you but she pulls away before it can take you completely. You whine in protest but before you can say anything she slides a finger inside you. You cry out, fisting the blanket under you in a desperate attempt to ground yourself.
“Oh my god, yes, like that, please, please add another.” Your breathing intensifies when she slips another finger into you, stretching you perfectly.
“I should still eat you out right?” You nod frantically, eyes shut tight as you chase your high. She dives back in immediately, lapping at your clit like an expert as she fucks your clenching hole. Your body shaking with pleasure as your orgasm washes over you, your moans and cries are so loud that you’re positive that anyone passing your house can hear your signs of pleasure but you couldn’t care less. 
“Lix-ah, Lix, Lixie, I’m cumming” She licks up your gushing arousal as you come undone, her free hand keeps you spread open for her as she laps up your juices. A chorus of moans float through the air, some belonging to you and some her. Once you start to settle down she slowly slides her fingers out of you and gives your cunt one last lick before backing away. Her chin is glistening in the sun as she smiles, her swollen lips are coated in your juices and the two fingers that were previously buried in your cunt are now between her lips as she runs her tongue over them. She rests her head on your thigh as she watches you come down from the clouds.
“This is definitely a dream, there’s no way that I made you cum that hard.” She smiles, as she wipes her chin with the back of her hand. “Did I do okay?”
“Was my screaming not enough of a give away?” You both laugh and she crawls back up to lay next to you. “Thoughts?”
“You taste…sweet.” She side eyes you with a smile and you both erupt into a much more intense fit of laughter. “You must like me.” You tease, pushing her playfully. “C’mere”
You lean up in an attempt to catch her lips with yours and she closes the gap, pressing her swollen lips against yours with a hum. “I am sweet.” She chuckles and you push her down onto your mattress.
“It’s your turn now.” 
“You don’t have to -” You cut her off with a kiss.
“I really want to.” She smiles up at you and watches as you crawl down her body. Just when you’re about to flip her skirt up her phone chimes underneath her. She ignores it and turns her attention back to you, lifting her hips to give you access to her pink strawberry print panties. You kiss her outer thigh and start moving inwards but before you can get too far her phone vibrates again. She groans in annoyance before she lifts up and grabs the device, unlocking it aggressively and checking her notifications.
“Oh.” She whispers with wide eyes as she sits up. “Oh no oh god I completely forgot.”
“What?” You ask, crawling back up to look at her screen. “Oh.” 
“I completely forgot that he was picking me up, our plans completely slipped my mind.” She starts typing quickly, trying to come up with a message that would get her out of her plans. Her phone vibrates in her hands seconds after her message is sent and somehow her wide eyes get even wider. “He’s here.”
“What?” Before you could even ask any questions there’s a knock at your window. All of your friends come through your window when it’s open. Why not? It’s in the front of your house and it’s fucking huge. You turn quickly and sure enough Hyunjin is lifting himself up and into your room. 
“Ladies.” He greets with a sigh once he’s in, he takes you both in with furrowed brows. His eyes dart from your skirt around your waist to Lixie’s messy hair then down to your friends flipped up skirt and then they finally stop at your ruined panties discarded at the end of your bed. “What’s going on here?”
“Nothing.” You say in unison, not even bothering to fix your appearances. 
“Nothing?” He questions, an eyebrow raised and a sly smirk on his lips as he looks you both over again. 
“Yeah we’re just…” Lix trails off, looking at you for assistance but Hyunjin finishes before you can jump in “Tasting cherries?” He walks over to your bed, sitting at the edge and leaning back against the frame. 
“Mind if I have a taste too?”
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a/n : Thanks for reading! I've never written anything like this ever so I hope you enjoyed! Reblogs, Comments and likes are appreciated and always make my day!
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ceesimz · 11 days
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The Mountain Is You
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Part 2 of 'Our Sun Is Setting'
Barcelona. Once a place that felt like home to you, yet now as you clamber into the back of your taxi outside of the airport, it's the same but different.
Same sun, different warmth. Same air, different atmosphere. Same airport, different kind of departure.
Same person tying you down to this city, different dynamic.
If you thought a lot could change in two days, you had no idea what could happen in eighteen months. Turns out, a lot could change too, but thankfully for the sake of your sanity, the mental blows were not so big and not so frequent this time around. You doubt you would be in this situation now, back in the city you love, if it wasn't for your grandparents. They welcomed you with open arms and endless amounts of baked goods as soon as they caught wind of you coming home.
For the first month you stayed with them, most of that time was spent in the spare bedroom they made up for you, not quite holding the confidence or will power to do much else other than feel sorry for yourself. Some days you would walk their dog with them, other days you wouldn't leave the room. Some days you would do as many chores possible for them as a thank you, other days your Grandmother would sit beside you up against the headboard whilst you lay beside her as she read her book out loud, one hand gently running through your hair as she went. Some days you'd all laugh about shared memories of your Mother, other days you'd cry into each other's arms.
Something clicked inside you along the way though. One day you just woke up with a certain determination, and the look on your Grandfather's face as you wandered into the kitchen at 7am was enough to force a few giggles out of you before ushering him to join you on an early morning walk. That was when you voiced your new thoughts to him.
"I think I'm going to start applying for jobs again soon. You know, get out of your hair a little bit." You said to him, smiling when he tutted and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.
"Don't be ridiculous. We're happier than we have been in a while now that you're with us, sunshine." He replied honestly, hugging you into his side.
"I know. I'm happy too, but I do want a job. What job, I'm not sure yet, but I'm going to start looking."
"You don't have to pressure yourself though, okay? If you change your mind at any point, that's perfectly fine. Just do it at your own pace. If you would like, you could print off your CV for me and Granny to hand in to places."
"That's fine, Grandad, you don't have to." You laughed lightly at his suggestion, bringing your hand up to cover his that rested on your shoulder. "Everything is online nowadays."
"Of course. That rules me and Gran out the question then, in terms of advice." He grumbled jokingly, though his classic, cheeky smile rests on his face. "Absolutely no help for you there, sweetheart."
"I didn't think there would be any anyway. I've seen Grandma use the microwave." The pair of you laugh at that, before it falls silent as you walk along the cliff-top coastline. The tone of the conversation shifts a bit when you speak again. "I think I'm also going to start seeing a therapist. You know, for everything that's happened."
"Okay, love. Whatever is best for you." And that's all the reassurance you needed.
The job hunt would forever be an aspect of life you despised. But, two months later, you had secured a job within the local area that you chose to walk to most days, a piece of advice from your new therapist that at first you hated but soon it was your favourite part of your daily routine. Apart from when it rained, obviously.
Things were going well though, surprisingly well, and it set in one evening as you sat in the back garden, watching your grandparents gardening, that the choice you made a few months prior was the right one.
You had managed to keep a certain Spaniard out of your mind for most of the time after that first month of being away from her, until one night you got a notification on your phone.
Spain win the FIFA World Cup after a 1-0 victory against England!
What was the right move now? Text her to congratulate her? Or is no contact best for the time being? Would texting her give her false hope? This was arguably the biggest achievement of her career, her whole life, but as a figure of the past, was it right to dredge everything back up again at such a joyful time?
Your hands faltered over your still cracked phone screen, unsure what to do in such an unusual situation. There was no handbook on what to do if your ex-girlfriend, who you're still in love with and who (hopefully) still loves you too, wins the biggest trophy of her career, nor could a google search be any assistance. And unfortunately, as perfect as they are, your grandparents that had been married for over fifty years now may not be any help either.
So, the only decision you could land on, no matter how much you didn't like it, was to leave it.
Until your finger slipped and liked her celebratory Instagram post later that night. You still followed each other on social media, too reluctant to get rid of that remaining bridge, but your Instagram had lain dormant ever since you had left. That meant you had some insight into Alexia's life post-breakup, guiltily indulging in a late night scroll every now and then which you found yourself in now, whilst she had no idea what you were up to or even if you were alive.
Well, at least she knew you were still here and you still cared for her. Could that be shown in one single social media interaction? You hoped so. Maybe that was a tad bit dramatic though. What else were you supposed to do?
You had the same reaction a year later as you watched Alexia captain her team to an unfortunate loss in the Olympics final. However, it was still a silver Olympic medal, and not many athletes could say they have one of those. A congratulatory text from you may have seemed like the start of a pity party though, so once again you opted out of it. Time and place and all that.
A year on and you were in a much better place, there were no two ways about it. Therapy was difficult, of course it was, but people were right when they say it's one of the best things to do for yourself. You don't think you'd ever been better. Subsequently, that led to an inevitable topic to come into discussion during one session.
"What do you think the... repercussions would be if I... went back to Barcelona?" You asked nervously, looking down at your hands as they fidgeted in your lap.
"It depends what you went to get out of it. Would you go for the city itself? Or for her?"
For some reason, in your sessions, your therapist hardly ever named Alexia. It was always 'her' or 'she', never her name. You figured it was so that you never shied away from the subject which was probably close to being the hardest to talk about, but you were too afraid to ask.
"Both." You answered initially. Your therapist stayed quiet of course, waiting for you to answer truthfully, something she again always did. "Her. Mostly."
"Do you think you're in the headspace for it? You've made so much progress since we first started, so you need to think if it'll aid the healing process or cause a regression."
"Well, she wasn't the problem in the first place. Everything she did for me was perfect, it was the relationship as a whole rather than her specifically. She was... she was perfect." You smiled sadly as you reminisced on your time with her. She really was perfect. "But I was the problem, I think. I was the one suppressing so much stuff and... when I was on my own compared to when I was with her, I was two completely different people. It was like light and day. She had a great effect on me, but I guess it's just figuring out if that was healthy or not. That difference in characters, in mindset."
"See? You've learnt so much from this already. Maybe you should just sit in front of a mirror and talk to yourself, you'd save a lot of money." Your therapist jokes, the pair of you laughing lightly. "So, let's get talking then. Let's figure this out."
And you did. You spent the rest of the session discussing whether it would be suitable for you to go back to Barcelona. The conclusion you came to was a very favourable one, one that made you nervously excited. But what would Alexia be like? Had she moved on? Would she still value you the same? Or would you be old news now? Only time could tell.
The only thing you knew was that it is so much darker after a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone, and that was the case with Alexia. Perhaps your life wouldn't have been so flipped upside down if you hadn't had met her; such a sweet and loving soul, the purest and brighest light shining onto every dark crevice you'd ever hidden. You'd had a taste of her, and you'd be damned if you didn't at least try for her again. Alexia Putellas wasn't one to lose, and you'd been fortunate to have her in the first place. If it was a one time thing, maybe you'd have to come to terms with that being the case. But for now, getting to Barcelona was just the first step.
Your grandparents definitely approved of you going back, no matter how long for, whether it be one day or one month or perhaps forever. At some point in the past year you had opened up to them about Alexia and they were heartbroken for you. Of course they would be. Your hearts were one and the same. They were the biggest advocates in getting you to go back and see Alexia, and even if Alexia didn't want to see you, you were still going to go to Barcelona. You had friends there, you'd lived a whole life there for just over a year, you'd fallen in love with it before you'd even met Alexia, so regardless of her opinion (even if it did sting like hell) you're still going.
When you booked your flight there, with no return ticket just yet, your grandparents had cheered and dragged you up from the armchair to dance with them along to the music from their old radio. It was a core memory, absolutely, and you'd be lying if you said a part of you wasn't hoping to share this memory one day with Alexia.
However, the day came where you had to do the thing you'd been most afraid of. Contacting Alexia. It was an occasion that definitely called for an emergency video call with your therapist who was very pleased to meet your grandparents for the first time, albeit over Zoom, and the three of them offered any and all advice you'd take until you had carefully curated a text message to send to her.
You:
Hey Alexia, I hope you're doing well. Feel free to ignore this, but I'm coming back to Barcelona soon and I was wondering if you wanted to catch up? If you don't want to, I completely understand. It's been a while and we've both lived our lives without each other in it, so no pressure at all. Let me know if you're open to it. Take care x
Almost immediately, the message was read by her. And just as quickly, the typing icon came up. Safe to say, your grandparents were freaking out just as much as you were.
Alexia:
Wow, it is so good to hear from you. I'm doing well and I really hope things are much better for you. I've been dreaming of hearing from you since the moment you left. I absolutely want to see you again, I don't care how long it's been, so let me know when you're coming and I'll see you as soon as I can. Espero verte pronto, cuídate x
Any longer and your jaw would have been lodged into its place hanging wide open. She wanted to see you just as much as you wanted to see her. The feeling of relief that washed over you upon reading it was gone as quick as it arrived; instead, you were now filled with nerves. No, not nerves, butterflies.
And that's where you found yourself now, your taxi driver navigating the streets of Barcelona towards your hotel in mid-October. It was reaching the evening, so your plan was to start off the trip calmly with a walk around the city to re-familiarise yourself before sunset, then just order some room service for dinner. Simple, but the right way to start what would probably be a bit of a challenging trip mentally.
Despite the low-key nature of the day, you could hardly sleep later that night. There was only one reason, it was obvious. You and Alexia had plans to meet for lunch the next day after her training session. You can't recall an event in your life you had ever felt so excited for, you felt like a kid on Christmas Eve again. A few doubts trickled into your mind every now and then, but you'd grafted for too long now for petty worries to tear down the confidence you had built.
Of course you were eager to see the woman you loved again for the first time in eighteen months, but there was a bigger part of you that was desperate for her to see the progress you'd made. You were proud, and it had taken a lot to get to this point. You wanted to share your pride with her and show her the person you always knew you could be all along. All of your efforts, your hard-work, and your sacrifices had been worth it. You were right to feel proud. And after all, sacrifices were given that name for a reason.
When you did eventually fall asleep, it was with images of Alexia circling in your mind, hoping she still had a place in her heart for you and that she'd love you again for who you are now and not who you were.
Finally, finally, the time came to see Alexia again. You weren't really sure what to expect; it was a unique situation with exceptional circumstances, and you were trying desperately not to put too much pressure on the day. Yet, you were a despairingly hopeful person and the anticipation was almost overwhelming as you were getting ready.
Contact between you both had been little but often, topics never delving too deep which you were so glad about as you wanted to talk to her properly face to face. You had to, it's the least she deserved. Over text, anything could be easily misinterpreted and you weren't about to ruin your chance with words getting lost in translation. Phone calls and FaceTimes were out of the question too, and you were grateful that your individual desperation wasn't getting in the way of going about this the correctly. By no means were you a perfectionist, but there were some things in life that were far too important to be ruined by a lack of patience and all-consuming desire.
Once again, your new and probably your healthiest habit came into play as you decided to walk under the bright October weather to the place Alexia had chosen for the occasion. Neutral ground of course; meeting at her apartment or your hotel room wasn't appropriate... yet.
You arrived at the quaint, little restaurant first, a coincidence you were more thankful for than you'd admit, and you chose to seat yourself at a table off to the side. A bit of privacy from strangers could go a long way for a day like today, you figured. You didn't really want a bunch of strangers to witness the influx of emotions you'd no doubt go through when Alexia arrived.
Soon though, that became a case of if Alexia would arrive, because ten minutes passed since you had arrived practically on time and there was still no sign of the woman. And, rather naïvely, you hadn't planned for her to stand you up. You and your therapist had almost fully mentally prepared you for every other outcome except that one. She did have training beforehand, perhaps that had ran late. Still, your mind was slowly spiralling into overdrive with each second that passed.
Until she did arrive.
The bell over the door rang faintly through the room as it opened hastily, a frantic looking Alexia entering the restaurant. She was really here. Here, basically racing over to you whilst weaving through the tables and chairs and the light scattering of people. Here, still as breathtakingly beautiful as ever. Still Alexia.
She came to a stop in front of you, both of you stuck in a trance as if the world had stopped spinning solely for this moment right here. An anticipatory and contemplative silence settled as your eyes' tracked over every feature of the other, a refresh for the memory of the face you'd so dearly missed.
Alexia was the first to speak - a breathless whisper of your name as if she was in disbelief that you were right in front of her. It triggered something in you, because before you had even realised, you had jumped up from your chair and wrapped your arms tightly around her; a hug you had been dying for for longer than you'd admit. It took a few seconds for her to react but soon, Alexia enveloped you just as emphatically.
The embrace was paired with a few more whispered chants of your name from Alexia - in this moment, for her, it felt like the past months without you she had just been floating through her life, waking up everyday as if it were a chore more than anything. But now, in your arms, she felt alive again. The time without you had been worth it for this single moment here.
"Hey." You mumbled quietly into her neck, smiling uncontrollably when the taller woman squeezed you impossibly more in response.
"Hi." Her voice cracked ever so slightly as she spoke. "Hi."
"You already said that." You teased her lightly, meeting her gaze when she moved back to look at you properly. One of her hands came up to delicately cradle your cheek as if she was scared you would disintegrate at her touch. "Don't be so worried. I'm not going anywhere right now."
"You better not." Alexia murmured, her eyes boring down at you so deeply that it caused your breath to hitch in your throat. "I can't believe you're here."
You blushed at the intensity of her look, gesturing a hand down your body jokingly.
"Live in the flesh." You grinned cheekily, gasping slightly when she pulled you back into herself. "Ale."
"Say that again." She said so quietly you almost missed it.
"Alexia. Ale." You repeated, along with a light kiss to her cheek. She physically deflated in your arms, all the tension you didn't even realise was there dissipating immediately. You saying her name was like the last confirmation she needed that yes, you were actually here.
"I..." She started, leaning back and shaking her head whilst letting out a shaky breath. "I missed you. So much."
You smile and... almost instinctively lean in to kiss her - what were you doing?
"I missed you too." You replied, willing yourself to not ruin it, not now, not when you've made it so far. "I really did."
She returned a smile and reluctantly lets go of you in favour of finally taking a seat at the table. You sit across from her and realise that most of the tables were quite small and intimate, and if you had any remaining functional thought processes left that weren't all occupied by Alexia, you would have thought she'd chosen this restaurant for that specific feature. Your knees grazed against each other under the table and Alexia couldn't stop herself from travelling the small distance with her hands to grasp one of yours with both of hers.
"How are you?"
"Well, that's quite a question. Do you want the short answer or the long answer?" You answer humorously, Alexia shrugging.
"Whatever you want. Say it all or say nothing, I'm just glad to be in your company again." You can't help but swoon a little at her words. "But... I would really like it if you were honest with me. And open. Though I understand if not."
"I'm happy to tell you it all. You best have your listening ears on though." You say, delighted to hear her laugh.
"I do, I swear."
At that, you explain everything from start to finish. From the days you spent in bed, to the first therapy session you had, to the moment you opened up to your grandparents, all the way to the point where you made the decision to come back to Barcelona. The only slightly annoying and poorly timed interruption was from the waiter who asked for your orders, the pair of you quickly apologising and taking one glance at the menu before ordering the first thing that caught your eye.
She listened intently to every word you had to say, not afraid to ask a question every now and then whilst also respecting the privacy you still had every right to. Alexia didn't really feel like you absolutely owed her anything, she just wanted a little context to it all, a little closure and an update on your current state of mind. She just wanted you to be well, she just wanted you.
The whole time you spoke, she simply gazed at you with such a soft and earnest look in her eyes. With her presence that, despite all that time, still had the greatest effect on you paired with your newfound self, you were at peace here.
"You promise that you're better now?" She raises her hand up to you, waiting for you to link fingers with her to secure your truth. And this time, you weren't lying when you answered her.
"I'm so much better." You stated with a shy smile, and that statement felt like the final nail in the coffin to the whole journey you'd been on the past two years.
"You don't know how happy I am to hear that." Alexia revealed with a disbelieving shake of her head. You lift your shoulders in a dismissive shrug, glancing down at your joined hands in the centre of the table.
"Are you... are you angry at me?" You ask. You weren't perfect still, you still had doubts and insecurities.
"What would I be angry about?" Her nose scrunched up in genuine confusion.
"Any of it. All of it."
"Hey." She said, nudging your hand to try and gain your attention. You look up at her and blush a little. "Do I seem angry?" You ponder that for a moment, eyes searching her face, before shaking your head no. "Good, because I'm not. Not at all. What person would I be to react like that?"
"An asshole." You mumble, the pair of you breaking out into laughter after a second.
"I'm proud of you and happy for you. You..." Alexia sighs and pauses, wondering if it's the right time to say what she wanted to say. It's her turn to focus her attention on your hands as she mindlessly traced random shapes on the back of your hand with her finger. "This new version of you, I can see that you're less... weighed down by things. There is a different look in your eyes and though I can't quite describe it yet, I know it's a sign that you feel better and more at peace with yourself. That is all I could wish for, for the person I love."
Sorry, what was that?
"Uh, you sti- you still love me?" You stuttered. You just had to know.
"Yes. I do." Alexia confirms, a sheepish smile on her face. "I was being truthful before you left when I said that I'll always love you. Maybe I shouldn't have said this now. You don't have to love me still. I would... I would understand."
"No, Ale, what?" You shook your head at her and squeezed her hands tightly. "I love you. I'll always love you too. Why do you think I wouldn't love you?"
"Why would you think I wouldn't love you?" She hits back, resulting in you both laughing shyly. "It would have to be really crazy situations for me to not love you, chiqui."
"Was this not a crazy situation? Me dramatically fleeing the country out of nowhere?"
"No, and don't say it like that. You had every reason to leave, okay? I told you that when you left and I'll still tell you that now. I don't resent you for choosing yourself." Alexia argues firmly, bringing your hand up to her mouth so that she could kiss the back of it reassuringly. She halts for a moment, wondering if it's appropriate to do so, but judging by the redness of your cheeks she decides to go through with it. "I... just had a few doubts about this all, but now that you're here my mind has calmed down now."
"Are you okay?" You blurt out.
At the mention of herself, your concern immediately turned to Alexia and how she coped through all this. If you knew her as well as you thought you did, you had a feeling you knew what her immediate reaction would be.
"What do you mean?"
Exactly what you guessed.
"I haven't checked up on you yet. I want to know how you've been doing." You answer, shifting forward slightly so that you were closer to her.
"Why check up on me?" Alexia chuckles nervously.
"Because your girlfriend walked out on you and went off the grid for a year and a half. Forget about me right now, Ale, I want to know how you are."
She pauses looking at you, an internal battle going on behind her eyes that you're all too familiar with, until she sighs once more and her demeanour drops.
"Well, I was worried about you, firstly. Everyday I woke up you were the first thing I thought about and the last thing in my mind before I slept. I don't think you ever left my mind, not for long anyway. I wanted the best for you. And then I guess... I had a few selfish thoughts too. But as I said, you're here, and I don't need to think about them anymore." Alexia told you, a tight-lipped smile on her face. "I don't want to say them now, today is about you."
"No, Alexia, it's not. It's a day for both of us." You urge her to understand that it's okay for her to open up, that it's been a hard time for her too, but part of you knows you most likely won't get that out of her today.
"Amor, please. Let's do this another time, for now just focus on the positive. We can talk about me any other time, just not now, please." She begs with a pleading look in her eyes. "I am okay, I swear. You being here has solved everything, it's the truth."
"Promise you'll open up at some point soon?" It's your turn to hold your hand up for her to make a promise.
"As long as you stay long enough." She jokes, but it's clear to see there is some fear and insecurity there. She does link her finger with yours though, a sentiment that's never lost on you. "How long are you staying for?"
"That's the thing. I don't really have a return date yet." You admit, and the flash of hope in Alexia's eyes ignites a feeling of longing inside of you.
Forget timings and socially standardised timelines of falling in love or healing or whatever it was you were doing, you didn't care anymore. Why delay the inevitable process? You were in love with her and she was in love with you. Taking it slow was overrated anyway.
"What does that mean?" Alexia asks, her heart palpitating at the prospect of your answer.
"It means... anything, Ale. What do you want it to mean?"
Perhaps answering questions with another question wasn't the best habit you'd picked up from your therapist.
"You want the truth?" You nod instantly, your emotions already bubbling and she hasn't even said anything yet. "As long as you are ready for it, and you must swear to me that you are because I don't want to h-"
"Oh my god, just say it, please." You beg, eyes wide in hopeful anticipation, waiting for her to admit the thing you had yearned for all these months.
"I want you back in my life, permanently. I want to be your girlfriend again. No matter how long it takes, no matter how slow you decide to take things, the thing I've wished for all this time is to just be yours again, to have you as mine. I'll do anything to make that happen, I swear by it. You want me to throw stones at your hotel window? I'll do it. You want me to sneak onto your balcony in the middle of the night? I'll do that. You want me to stand outside your door with a loudspeaker and signs? I already have the speaker and words prepared. I'll even stand in the centre of Montjuïc at the next game and sing for you if you really want."
You laugh at every ridiculous idea of devotion that comes out of her mouth, eyes glossy with unshed tears. Except, this time, the tears aren't ones of sorrow or longing, they're tears of exultation and relief. Alexia had waited for you, all this time. There had been no one else for her and no matter how selfish it was, it's the best revelation you've ever had.
"I don't think the culers would be too happy about you singing." You teased, rolling your eyes at the smug and nonchalant shrug she gave.
"I don't care, because it wouldn't be for them, it would be for you." She smirks, leaning in closer. Your foreheads were mere inches about now, a fact neither of you could ignore.
"You sure you want me back?" You mumbled shyly. It was Alexia's turn to roll her eyes now as she fought back the temptation to kiss the doubt off of your lips.
"I want nothing more than I want you." She responded, sounding so sure of herself that it was intoxicatingly enticing.
"Even if it's long distance for a little while?"
"Even then." Alexia smiles, resting her arms on her elbows as she brought your joined hands up together to rest in between you both. She pressed her lips to your hands once more, eyes closed as she does so, before looking back into your eyes. "We will figure out the logistics another time. For now, all I know is that I have the love of my life back and I want to spend every second I can with her before she leaves."
"Love of your life, hm?" You whisper with a shy grin, Alexia grunting at how you teased her for her softness. It was something you'd always done, and she was grateful that that part of you hadn't changed. "Well, what do we do now?"
"I'm hoping that you will let me kiss you, finally."
"In here? With all these people?" There really weren't that many people in there, and the few that were wouldn't even take notice of the sickeningly sweet moment occuring.
"Sí. Déjame besarte, por favor." The sound of Alexia speaking Spanish was something you could never get over, it did things to you everytime. How could you deny her when she spoke like she did?
"I guess." You rolled your eyes and sighed dramatically as if it was such an inconvenience.
Alexia simply grinned and planted both her hands on your cheeks before surging forward to kiss you. However, she pauses for a moment, just taking in your appearance and letting out a huff of disbelieved laughter, then she finally presses her lips against yours. A quiet, muffled moan leaves your throat before you can stop it, and the sound of it causes Alexia to smirk smugly. Frustratingly, the stupid but irresistible thing made it aggravatingly difficult to kiss the life out of her like you so wanted to. The smirk was wiped off of Alexia's face the second you broke the kiss much sooner than she wanted to.
"What's wro-"
"I can't kiss you how I want to when you're grinning like a maniac, pendeja!" You groan, butting your forehead against hers to further emphasise your annoyance.
"Pobrecita bebé." Alexia pouts sarcastically at you whilst gently grasping your chin with her thumb and forefinger. That idiotic, childish grin soon forced its way back where it belongs, and you can't help but smile at the sight of it. "I can't help it, amor! What do you want me to do?"
"Be normal and not do that stupid smirk!"
"Oh, perdónarme, I'm sorry I'm so happy that I have you back!" Alexia exclaims, arguing solely to rile you up. What people didn't know about this layered Catalan is that she loved bickering with you or just annoying you in general. You didn't realise quite how much you missed it until this moment now.
"I swear to god, stop being so infuriating and just get o-"
And get on with it she did. You couldn't even finish your sentence before she silenced you in one of the best ways you could think of. And god bless the poor waiter who just wanted to do his job, because when he came to give you your meals, the sight he walked up to was somewhat less than PG. The young guy, who honestly looked no older than 18, cleared his throat louder than normal and the pair of you jumped a mile apart at the unexpected presence. Alexia had to grip the edge of the table to prevent her chair from tipping back, trying desperately to disguise her embarrassment with a tight-lipped smile and rambled thanks to the boy, all the whilst you had to stifle what would be a very loud belly laugh.
"Calláte, that was your fault." Alexia hushed out, her eyes scanning the room to figure out if anyone else had just witnessed that monstrosity. Meanwhile, your face was now bright red due to the laughter threatening to escape out from behind your palm that covered your mouth. It was Alexia's fault really, the shot burst of laughter that barrelled out of you, because she kicked you in the shin as she sipped from the water that had been dropped off at some point during the afternoon. "Dios mío, what is wrong with you!?"
"Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry." You choked out. You took a page from Alexia's book and drank some of your water. As you did, you noticed that Alexia's face wasn't contorted to one of irritation, it was the face she did when she was trying to suppress the overwhelming amount of joy she felt. As someone who was so keen to convey a certain persona, it was one you'd seen a few times since you'd known her, and this was perhaps your favourite look of hers. "I think you'll find it was your awkwardness that was at fault, Ale."
"Yeah, yeah. Eat your food, idiota."
There were periods of peaceful silence as you ate, some conversation here and there, but despite all that has and hasn't been said so far, it felt like there wasn't anything that needed to be uttered. You were both content to enjoy each other's presence again, your eyes meeting every other moment as you ate which resulted in you both blushing and laughing like lovesick teenagers.
It really was tooth-rottingly sweet, and though the dynamic wasn't all too different than it was before, there was solace found in the knowledge that a lot of things had been changed for the better. The prospect of it all was exhilarating, a new path for you both to walk together, and for you there were no longer question marks looming over every part of your life.
The main thing that hadn't changed too much for you, a thing you were relieved about, was the way Alexia made you feel. It was the same as it used to be, except about a million times better. There wasn't so much guilt or gloom that was masked by Alexia, it was all genuine and you already knew that feeling would bleed into your everyday life with her around.
"You said you told your grandparents about me?" Alexia wondered, sitting back in her chair with her hands linked over her stomach.
"I did. They said if this goes well, I have to bring back Barça shirts for them." You revealed with a smile, Alexia chuckling.
"I can organise that for them. As well as tickets to a game if they'd like."
"Alright, Miss Marketing." You roll your eyes at her offer, pausing to take a sip from your half-full glass. "We get it, you love your club. You don't have to spread the message like a missionary."
"I have to win them over some way." Alexia laughs, before her face turns a little more serious and you have a feeling you know what she's about to bring up. "What about your... Dad?"
"Haven't spoken to him since the day I left." You answer, eyes focused on the tracks your finger left behind on the condensation of the glass as it ran around the curve of it. "No idea what he's doing or where he is. Just know that he's alive and that's all I have the energy to care about."
"That's good for you, amor. He doesn't deserve you."
"I know that." You smile genuinely at her, and that's another one of her worries she had for you erased. "I think, out of anyone, my therapist is the one you must give tickets to."
"Mm, yes. I must meet this magical woman one day, I owe my life to her." That charming smirk is back on her face, and you blush at that as well as the sentiment she holds in her words.
"I don't want this meal to end." You mumble in a disheartened voice, reaching your hand across the small gap between you both to grasp one of the hands on her stomach.
"It... it doesn't have to, amor." Alexia starts, catching your attention as you look up to meet her eyes. "You could come over to my apartment. It's been a while since you've been there. The indentation on my balcony chair has left, I think you need to reinstate it."
You roll your eyes at her humour, a soft smile on your face at the laugh she gives at her own jokes. You do think the offer over though - is it too soon? Maybe, but if this counted as a first date, milestones were out the window considering you'd already confessed your love for each other. Did time and patience count when it came to re-conciliating a relationship? Screw it, who cares.
"I'd be happy to come over, Ale. If you want that."
"Are you sure? Because I would love that, except I don't want to rush you or ruin anything if we move too fast."
"Fuck that. I know what I want now and that's you. Who cares what is too fast. I've delayed our relationship once already, I'm not doing that again."
She stares at you from across the table and if it was possible, you'd say her pupils were the shape of a heart with the look she fixed you with. Then she was standing out of nowhere, shrugging her jacket back on whilst you watched her, completely confused, until she held her hand out for you.
"Let's go, ay?" She hums, wiggling her fingers to urge you to move. "No wasting time, you said."
You jut your tongue into your cheek, heart fluttering at her forwardness, and gather your own coat before taking her hand. She presses a soft kiss to your cheek before guiding you towards the exit with a hand on your lower back, a notion she's always done and one you'll always adore.
Silently, she leads you to her car that's parked around the corner and watches with a shy but proud smile as you climb into the passenger side of the car. With every little thing you did, whether that was humming contently as you ate your food or smiling at her absentmindedly every time she spoke, or even just blinking and breathing, she realised she could never verbalise the love she held for you because she'd never experienced it before in her life, ever. Not with pets, not with friends, not with her family. It was otherworldly, unexplainable, and though she wasn't religious, her devotion to you was just as close to that.
Again, there is just light, scattered chatter as she drives you back to one of your favourite places in the world, and once more she guides you to the elevator with her palm pressed to your back. As you stand in the lift, shoulder to shoulder, there are modestly triumphant smiles on your faces, a wordless shared notion sitting between you that everything was worth it in the end. Even if it took a journey and a half to get there, the climb was always worth it for the view at the top.
"What would you like to do now?" Alexia asks as she unlocks her door and allows you to step in before her.
"Uh, can we chill on the balcony? You know it's my favourite spot." You reply with a grin, and Alexia somehow knew you were going to say that, almost as if she's heard those words leave your mouth maybe a few hundred times in the past.
"Of course. You go ahead, I'll get us some drinks."
You nod and walk through to her bedroom, one thing standing out to you; everything is exactly the same as it was before. That comforts you impossibly more than you yourself could ever understand. Future therapy topic?
However, there is one thing that jumps out at you. You walk over to where it stands on Alexia's dresser and pick it up, holding the object in your hand with a smile on your face.
"Ale, why do you have my favourite perfume here? I never once brought it to your apartment." You shout to where she was in the kitchen, no doubt her cheeks a bright pink colour at the fact she'd been caught out.
"Because I bought some, after you left." She replied, and you giggle to yourself at the ever so slightly embarrassed tone that creeps through.
"Liked the smell, did you?"
"Mm. Something like that." She grumbled.
You grin and place it down, heading over to the sliding door adjacent to her bed and opening it. The air that hits you and the sight that greets you causes a wave of familiarity to wash over you, one that you welcome straight away. You take a deep breath and bask in the feeling, leaning on the railing as your eyes raked over the view you adored.
A few minutes later and you hear Alexia walking out behind you, first placing the drinks on the small side table before joining you at the edge. She wraps an arm loosely around your waist and rests her chin on your shoulder, admiring the view of the city that was literally right on her doorstep.
"I missed this view." You break the silence first, voicing what Alexia already knew.
"I missed you." She murmurs, turning to press a kiss to your shoulder when she notices something. "Ah, I knew you never gave that back."
Delicately, she runs her index finger along the necklace that sat around your neck which she had gifted you way back when, quietly delighted to see you still wearing it. And it also aided her in not feeling so embarrassed about the earlier incident where you had found the perfume she bought in memory of you.
"Yeah, sorry about that." You mumble sheepishly, shivering when Alexia chuckles into your neck where her lips soon leave a kiss.
"No, I like that you still have it."
You hum in acknowledgement, content to stay here in the arms of your girlfriend as the locals carried on with the hustle and bustle of city life below you.
"This was my favourite thing about your apartment." You state a little while later, leaning your head against Alexia's.
"I remember." You feel her say it more than you hear it, before a thought clearly captures her attention as she stands up fully, still with her arm around you. "You could come here, uh... full time, you know?"
"You mean move in with you?" It's not the most surprising thing you'd heard from her in all honesty, but it was still a bit of a shock to the system.
"If you'd like. I know I would be happy with that."
"I would too, but... I think that maybe does cross the line of 'too soon' though." You reply with an apologetic smile, but Alexia understands instantly, of course she does.
"That's okay." She comments, one more kiss to your shoulder. "Do you think you'll ever come back to live here again? Barcelona, I mean."
With this city before you, this woman holding you and loving you so gently, and the sea and the sky merging into one in the far distance, you think that maybe life can be simple after all. That starts and ends with Alexia.
"I think it's only a matter of time."
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steddieas-shegoes · 6 months
Text
i'm onto you
It may be Halloween, but it's also...@simplebtromance's birthday!!! You've been here with me pretty much since the beginning, and you deserve so much more than this ficlet, but I hope you love this anyway! We've had many a discussion about queer Wayne, so this is just a little something for you to sip on as a birthday treat 💖
rated t | 1,605 words check ao3 for more tags
Wayne liked to think he couldn’t be rattled, not since Eddie “died” and showed up on his doorstep being held up by Steve Harrington and Dustin Henderson looking like he hadn’t slept in a week and hadn’t showered for even longer.
But walking into his trailer to see Steve Harrington wrapped up in Eddie’s arms on his couch did startle him a bit.
It’s not like Steve was a stranger, not since he’d explained some of what happened to Eddie with certain looks that told him he wasn’t able to say more, please don’t ask, please accept what I’m telling you as the full truth and nothing but the truth. But he’d only been over when the kids were over, hanging back and watching them have fun with Eddie with a soft smile on his face.
Wayne noticed, he always noticed. But he didn’t really think much of it until now.
Steve was lying on top of Eddie, head on his chest and hand gripping his shirt like a lifeline. His face was relaxed, though, lips parted as he breathed shallowly. Eddie’s arms were wrapped around his back, hands not quite gripping, but clearly holding him tight.
It could be nothing.
It could just be that both of these boys had seen things that most wouldn’t understand and found solace in each other.
It could be that they didn’t mean to fall asleep like this.
It could be that they were exploring something together.
Wayne smiled to himself when Steve’s hand loosened, falling away from Eddie’s shirt. Eddie’s arms tightened briefly, his head turning so that his face buried more into Steve’s hair.
He walked towards his bedroom with the same fond smile on his face.
– – – – – –
It wasn’t the first time Wayne was woken up by the sound of loud music playing, but it was definitely the first time that it was the sound of Blondie blasting through the speakers of Eddie’s boombox.
His alarm clock said that it was almost ten in the morning, so he couldn’t be too mad. Six hours of sleep was more than he got for years, and from the sounds of it, Steve was still here and probably making them breakfast.
He’d done that a lot when Eddie was healing, unable to do much other than walk to the bathroom when he needed to and eat in his bed. Wayne was grateful for it, for Steve.
When he walked into the kitchen, he froze.
Eddie was sitting on the counter, Steve standing between his legs.
Kissing.
He considered turning around and pretending he hadn’t seen it, figured they’d both come to him when they were ready to acknowledge whatever they were.
But when he heard a quiet moan, he had to let them know he was there.
“Mornin’ boys.”
They jumped apart quickly, Steve turning towards the pan on the stove full of bacon with an obvious flush covering the back of his neck.
Eddie jumped off of the counter and tried to hide Steve’s discomfort.
“Hey. Sorry, we didn’t mean to wake you up,” Eddie started tugging on the ends of his hair, his nervous habit from childhood, even before his hair was this long.
“Music’s kinda loud. It’s okay though. Whatcha makin’?” He asked, pretending everything was normal, not pointing out that he’d just walked in on them making out in the kitchen.
“Bacon,” Steve’s shaking voice came from behind Eddie. “Fried eggs. Toast with peanut butter or jelly.”
“Sounds great,” Wayne said, walking to the coffee pot to grab a cup of coffee, smiling to himself when he realized that one of them had started a fresh pot not too long ago.
He snuck a glance at Steve, who looked like he was going to start crying any moment.
And that just didn’t sit right.
He didn’t want Steve to ever feel uncomfortable here, whether he was here as a friend to Eddie or more.
He set his mug back down without taking a sip and gently pushed Eddie aside to tug Steve into a hug.
Steve tensed in his arms for a moment, then relaxed, a shaky breath leaving him as Wayne rubbed his back.
“You’re allowed to be happy here, Steve. You don’t gotta tell me anything you don’t wanna, but you’re safe in this house. You and Ed both,” he said softly against the top of Steve’s head.
He was reminded of a similar discussion he’d had with Eddie when he was 14, when he’d been caught kissing an older boy when Wayne came home early from a shift at the plant. The boy ran, and Eddie had locked himself in his room for 15 minutes, furiously packing. When he opened the door to see Wayne leaning against the wall next to the door, unimpressed look on his face, he froze.
“Goin’ somewhere?” he’d asked him.
“You won’t want me to stay now, right?” Eddie had tried to sound confident, emotionless, but he was failing.
“Be a bit hypocritical of me to kick ya out for kissin’ a boy when I’ve got a boyfriend, wouldn’t it?”
Eddie unpacked, and they talked for a bit about Wayne’s boyfriend, Eddie being gay, and how he’d always be safe in Wayne’s house.
Steve had clearly never been given that kind of comfort, maybe hadn’t even had the chance to find that comfort in his own home. Wayne could give that to him.
“You don’t care that I’m, that we-” Steve started, almost immediately getting shushed by Wayne.
“Son, I’ve known Ed’s gay for years and if you think I wasn’t onto you the day you brought him to me half dead, I dunno what to tell ya.”
Eddie was standing to the side, watching quietly. Wayne didn’t need to see his face to know he was grateful.
“Sorry we kinda defiled the kitchen,” Steve finally said as he pulled away.
“Kissin’ ain’t defiling anything.”
Steve blushed again, wiped his eyes as he turned back to where the bacon was probably about to burn.
“No it’s not.”
Wayne paused as he thought about the phrasing of Steve’s response.
He looked over at Eddie, who was conveniently pouring his own cup of coffee. He didn’t even like coffee.
“My one and only rule is that you clean up after…whatever it is you’ve done to defile the shared space,” Wayne smirked. “I’d prefer it stays in the bedroom, though, kay?”
“Yes, sir,” Steve agreed, not making eye contact.
“Got it,” Eddie replied.
Any leftover awkwardness disappeared when Wayne tried to reach directly into the still sizzling pan to grab a piece of bacon, only to be swatted away by Steve.
“You’ll burn yourself!” Steve shook his head. “Now I see where Eddie gets it.”
“Hey!” Eddie protested. “I do not reach into still cooking pans! I wait until the food is on a plate before I burn myself!”
“My apologies. You’re just an idiot later,” Steve rolled his eyes, but the fondness in his tone gave away how much he cared about Eddie.
– – – – – –
Wayne started seeing Steve more often, usually wrapped in Eddie’s arms or holding his hand, or watching him play guitar.
He spent the night more often than not, and Wayne sometimes overheard his yelling when he had a nightmare.
Eddie explained to him that they’d gotten better, but he’d probably always have nights where the monsters made an appearance, and unfortunately, getting him out of the nightmare was pretty difficult.
If Wayne was awake already, he usually brought a cup of tea to Eddie’s room and gave them both a quick kiss on the head.
He also made them breakfast most mornings, liked cooking for them, experimenting with new recipes and finding interesting flavor combinations.
After a few months of this, Wayne suggested he look into culinary school.
“There’s a place in Indy, I know one of the chefs there. He’d probably be able to help ya get started,” Wayne said around a bite of his peach pancakes with vanilla syrup.
“I dunno if I can do much besides breakfast and desserts,” Steve shrugged, looking down at his plate. “Plus, Indy’s too far to be driving back and forth every day. I still have to work.”
“Not if you live there. And you could probably work at a restaurant in the evenings.”
Eddie watched them both, unreadable expression on his face.
“Maybe.”
“You know, there’s a few bars there that I could play at. A record shop that probably would hire me,” Eddie chipped in casually, taking a bite of his pancake.
“What?” Steve asked.
“Yeah. I mean, we’d need to find somewhere cheap, but we could swing it. I’ve got some money still from the government.”
“Yeah, but-”
Eddie’s fork clinked against his plate when he set it down.
“Stevie. Do you want to try?”
Wayne watched them watch each other, small smile forming as he started to understand their silent conversation.
“Only if it’s with you, baby,” Steve finally said.
“Then we’ll go this weekend to check it out.”
– – – – – – – –
Wayne got to watch them choose each other.
He watched them choose a life outside of Hawkins.
He watched them choose a future where they could have a happiness he could only dream of.
They came to visit often, and invited Wayne to their apartment almost as often.
They even brought him to one of their favorite bars, known for being a safe place for queer people, where he struck up a conversation with one of the bartenders, Larry.
And then he got to choose a life outside of Hawkins too.
One that led to more happiness than he could have pictured for himself.
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melbatron5000 · 6 days
Text
The Big Damn Kiss
Buckle up, my fellow Good Omens Ineffable Mystery Puzzlers, Crackpotters, and Assorted Brainrotters, because I learned something HUGE yesterday.
This will be a bit of a long post, because I want to show you exactly how I got where I am. I want you to understand. I want to put all the naysayers to bed (ha! But I'm still gonna try), and settle this once and for all.
I know (almost) exactly what Crowley gave to Aziraphale during the kiss.
DO NOT TAKE ANY OF MY THEORIES TO NEIL! PLEASE!
Okay? Okay. Thanks. Shall we begin?
Ahem.
Firstly, whether you believe me or not, I am 100% certain that Crowley did, indeed, give something to Aziraphale in his mouth during The Kiss. I've covered that in the link previous. Okay? Okay.
I did not know what it was. I've now heard theories that it was a bullet (nope), a ball bearing (nope), hellfire (nope), and no one, NO ONE has suggested what I see. (If you have, hello! Talk to me!)
Here's our first foreshadowing Clue:
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And here's our next foreshadowing Clue:
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And the next:
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And our last Clue:
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With me so far? Well, that first GIF is a bit off, I couldn't find one of Crowley actually spitting out the flies. But he does. When Beelzebub first drags him to Hell, he actually goes "Pleaugh!" and spits out four or five flies. Edit: Found it!
Moving right along, we come to Crowley in Heaven with Muriel, looking at the trial. We learn two important things here:
One, Gabriel doesn't have a desk.
Two, Muriel does. Where they keep the records. And it's a bit lonely. Every few hundred years, someone comes and asks for something. Muriel can't access the sensitive ones, you have to be pretty high up. A throne, dominion, or higher. Like, maybe Supreme Archangel?
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So if Gabriel doesn't have a desk, whose desk is he at when he's getting ready to leave Heaven? Of course I can't find a damn picture of Gabriel at the desk, but it's Muriel's. Where they keep the RECORDS.
Gabriel puts his memory into the fly, then gets on the elevator to go to Earth.
Now, when Gabriel opens the fly with his memories inside, we find out that it's a container. Bigger on the inside. You can put thing(S) in it. The bit we see of him remembering is shot in two parts, one where he's flying down a red tunnel, one where he's flying down a blue. If you slow this scene down and watch, you can see that he is NOT looking at just his own memories. There is more going on here, more that he was not present for. @embracing-the-ineffable put up a great meta about that here. Go look!
Now I figured Gabriel must have taken something else. Something important. Something useful. Something he meant to give to Aziraphale, except he forgot.
I also figured he must have left whatever it was in the fly when he took his memories out. Crowley must have realized while watching the trial footage that Gabriel also grabbed something else. I don't know when Crowley grabs the fly, but he does. And that is what he gives to Aziraphale in the kiss. Why? Well.
I had no idea what Gabriel took until I started working on the chiastic structure of season 2. I'm not done with that analysis yet, but let me show you one thing that I have found so far:
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(The numbers are just to try and help me navigate the story and its events without time stamps)
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My note #357 of what happens isn't quite right, but when I saw the only two times Aziraphale says "I forgive you" are towards the beginning of Season 2 and towards the end, I realized I had something.
Rephrase line 357: Crowley's kiss is forgiven IN EXCHANGE FOR RECORDS.
(Not that I think Crowley's kiss needs to be forgiven. It's just what Aziraphale says, and had to say at that moment, because the Metatron was listening in.)
What does Heaven in Good Omens remind us of most of all?
A big corporate entity. And what do powerful people do when they get fired from a big corporate entity? They download all their emails while they're cleaning out their desks. Damning emails. Emails that can be used to black mail or even destroy big corporate entities. Or, ya know, maybe they swipe some sensitive RECORDS?
Oh yes.
Records that Gabriel meant to give to Aziraphale, but he forgot. Records that Crowley realized Gabriel had put in the fly. The fly that Crowley grabbed once Gabriel had his memory out. The fly that he gave to Aziraphale when he kissed him. The fly that no longer held Gabriel's memory, but did still contain those damning records.
Here's Aziraphale reading the records:
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Here's Aziraphale being horrified and outraged by what he's reading:
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And here's Aziraphale realizing he has got some GOOD DIRT on Heaven. Maybe enough to bring them down:
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That's it folks. I have no idea what the records actually say, and maybe we're not meant to know until season 3, but whatever it is, it's GOOD.
That's my story, and by God Herself, I'm sticking to it.
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etheries1015 · 3 months
Text
I CANT STOP CACKLING AT LILIA AND THE SILLY STORIES OF HOW HE RAISED SILVER 😭😭 It made me wonder about Lilia raising a child he has with you, and how you react to his parenting tactics...
Lilias dorm card spoilers underneath <3
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aldskfjal;siej the way that even sebek looks at Silver like "How..did you make it this far?" And Silver equally as confused as he is. And when he gave the bat milk directly from the jug, it sounds like the bat basically took a bath in it... Something similar happening to Silver. Ugh I love this family, they are so chaotic it's hilarious. How Silver and Sebek know more about the technicalities it's actually amusing, esspecially Silver, who grew up with Lilia's parenting skills... I like to assume MC had no clue this took place, and came in blind to his antics once they decided to have a child of their own...
MC- Lilia.
Lilia- oh isn't our darling baby the cutest?!
MC- Lilia, you cannot spoon-feed her real food yet. W...where did you get that food?
Lilia- I made it while you were bathing!
MC- ...And I see she also needed a diaper change? what's with the..paper towels?
Lilia- Oh, right. It appears we ran out of diapers! I had to improvise. I'm quite proud of myself how it turned out, really!
MC, sighing- We might have to start investing in reusable diapers if this keeps up...
Lilia- Reuseable?
MC- Yes, reus- Lilia! Put the spoon down, she is too little to feed off of solid foods! *mumbling* much less be able to stomach your cooking...
Lilia- It is not solid! It may appear that way, but I was certain to blend it into a milky consistency.
MC, eyeing the food curiously- ...Huh, you're right. Well, you can't feed her this anyway. She should be having milk right now
Lilia- I assure you it's much healthier and more nutritious than milk- ah...do not look at me like that my dear, remember I am a child-rearing veteran! ...
MC- ...
Lilia- ....
Lilia- I will go get the milk~ No need to glare at me as such. You know, raising children shouldn't be so black and white! Sometimes you need to improvise~
MC- ...Uh huh... anyways. I'm going to get changed to go out to the store and grab a few things. Can you handle her?
Lilia- Of course I can! Your questions wound me~ Do not worry your little head. I am well versed in how to raise a human child!
-moments later-
MC- Alright. Why is my baby cover head to toe in milk.
Lilia- Isn't she just the cutest sight to see? I handed her the mug and she practically poured it all over herself! What a silly little girl.
MC- ...Where's her diaper?
Lilia- Ah! The paper towel seems to have dissolved with the amount of milk soiling it... A shame. I was proud of how well It turned out.
MC, sighing and shaking their head with a smile and turning to the kitchen table- Can you keep an eye on them while I go to the store?
Silver, nodding- Of course.
MC- How...how did you manage to make it this far?
Silver- ...often times a mystery to me as well, but I am thankful I am still here.
MC, laughing and turning back to Lilia, who is giving the second mug of milk to his daughter- Ah...what charm you have, my lovely husband. I will return soon.
Lilia gives you a kiss and you head off, with a bright smile on your lips. What a silly fae...but you know things will turn out alright.
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apomaro-mellow · 8 months
Text
Matchmaking Harringtons 2
Diane wanted to ask more about Steve's interaction with the cashier, but she remembered being a youngin. The more questions she asked, the more Steve would close up. She didn't know what her husband had said to get things started, but clearly they needed a different angle.
She said as much that evening as she and Jonas got ready for bed. He protested, as she knew he would, but it was her turn now.
So right away the next day, she returned to the mall, hoping Steve's intended would be there. And to her luck, he was.
"Hello, hi", she waved as she approached the counter.
"Hi. Did you need help finding anything?"
"Oh no, not really", Diane said. "You see...", she looked to his name tag. "Eddie, I don't know if you remember but yesterday my husband and I were here with our son, Steve?"
Eddie's cheeks got red and his mouth turned to a straight line. Diane would take that as a good sign.
"We really want Steve to find someone special", Diane said in a low voice, leaning in a bit. "Now I don't know what my husband told you, but I'm here to give you a bit of advice."
"Advice....on getting a date...with your son?", Eddie said slowly as if speaking to an alien.
"Yes. Now here's our number. Call today, we'll make sure he answers. And ask him out."
"Your son? On a date?"
"You've got to be assertive, really make use of this...", Diane gestured to his whole being, "alternative look you've got going. Steve's never dated anyone like you so I'm sure he'll get a thrill having a taste of rebellion."
Eddie smirked as he took the paper with the number written on it. "Getting permission to be rebellious kind of takes the fun out of it. Uh, where should I take him?"
"Some place where he'll get a real rush of danger", Diane suggested.
"A dive bar?"
"He's not of drinking age yet and I am still his mother. I've got to act the part." Diane had definitely drunk underage, but her parents didn't know about it. She was pretty certain Steve had partaken while hanging with his friends. But as long as she didn't see it, she could play dumb. "Where do you and your friends normally hang around?"
"Dive bars", Eddie answered.
Diane pursed her lips as she thought of the best course of action. "I've got it. You're going to say you're taking him out to dinner. But when you pick him up, you'll actually be taking him out to a movie."
Eddie was silent as he did the mental math. Tell the parents one thing, but do another, thus the rush of rebellion. Dinner was public and respectable. But two young folks could fool around in a dark theater. It was honestly something he might try to do.
"Okay, I asked your hubbie yesterday if this is entrapment and I just need to ask again."
"Our Steve is a good boy. He...just has trouble holding onto someone. We don't know if it's him or the girls. We just want him to find someone special."
"...How special? Like, should I be making room on my hand?", he asked, wiggling his ring covered fingers.
"Not that special. Just enough to get him on the right track."
Eddie looked down to the number, then this strange woman again. He braced his hands against the counter and took in a deep breath. "Alright. I'm a gambling man. My break's at noon. I'll call him then."
"Wonderful. And whatever you do, don't tell him that we came to you."
"I don't even know how to begin that conversation", Eddie admitted.
-------------------
Diane was staring at the phone like she was the one waiting for a date to call. Jonas and Steve were watching a game on the tv and she was practically guarding the phone, using dirty dishes as an excuse. When it started to ring, she bit her lip to keep from smiling too much.
"Steve, sweetie, can you get that? My hands are wet."
"Got it", Steve said, picking up the phone on the third ring. "Hello, Harrington residence."
Diane was pretty much just pretending to do the dishes at this point, eavesdropping on Steve's side of the conversation the best she could without looking obvious. She fought the urge to jump for joy when she heard Steve confirm that he would be seeing the caller this Friday at 7.
"Alright. See you then", Steve said, the cord twirled around his finger. "Bye."
He hung up the phone, a dreamy smile on his face and Diane knew that look for sure but she reigned in her own expression. She was about to ask but Jonas beat her to it.
"Who was on the phone?", he called out.
"Oh, um, it was...", Steve was clearly debating how much to tell them, if anything. He took a breath as he decided to trust them. "It was that guy from the music place. He wants to grab a bite this weekend."
"Grab a bite, huh?", Jonas sat up a bit in his chair.
"Yes. Just a little something, we'll probably go to Benny's or whatever", Steve crossed his arms like he always did when he was trying to downplay something.
He then quickly excused himself to go up to his room and Diane dried her hands off for real. She went over to Jonas and nudged him, then nodded to the stairs.
"What woman? I'm not psychic."
"Go and listen. I bet you anything he's calling a friend right now to tell about the date."
"Are we really dropping eaves on our son now?"
"Go and listen!", she whispered urgently.
Taking his sweet time, Jonas got up and crept up the stairs. Steve's door was closed of course, but when he put an ear to the door, he could hear him walking about the room and talking to someone on the line in his room.
When he figured he'd heard enough, he came back downstairs to report to his wife.
"Well?"
"He's talking to that one girl he never dated, Robin?"
"About Eddie?"
Jonas nodded. Apparently the other day, Steve thought he didn't make the best impression on him when buying the music. He thought he came off as boring compared to Eddie. So he was surprised to get his call.
Diane couldn't help but be a little smug. Now the ball was rolling.
-----------------------
Saturday night was here and at 7 o'clock sharp, the Harringtons heard a loud engine enter their driveway. Steve came downstairs but instead of going to the door, went to the bathroom and did a final check in the mirror as the bell rang.
Jonas opened the door and got a load of date night Eddie. The ripped jeans were still there. But now instead of the uniform shirt and name tag, he was wearing a t-shirt that Jonas was just guessing had album art on it and a ratty denim vest.
"Evening Mr. Harrington. Is Steve ready yet?"
"I am", Steve said, appearing behind his dad.
"You two have fun at the diner. Have him back by 11", Diane said as she saw them off.
Jonas was oddly quiet the whole time. Diane just waited him out, knowing he'd announce any opinions he had once they were alone. In fact the moment he closed the door, he turned to her.
"How sure are we about Eddie?"
"Oh here we go. Were we so sure about Chloe? Or Mary Lee?"
"I just thought he might clean up a little more for a date, that's all."
"The important thing is that Steve likes him."
They spent their evening, drinking some wine and watching a movie. But they made sure to be up in their room before it got too late. They wanted the boys to have just a smidge of privacy when they returned.
All the lights were off when they heard that roaring engine come back at 11:15.
"They're late", Jonas said. "That's a good sign."
Diane smiled. They were both listening hard for any sort of sound that might tell them how the night went. They heard the front door open. It was about two minutes before it actually closed. Another good sign. Steve tiptoed up the stairs but in the quiet of the night and them holding their breath, he was easily heard.
The door to his room closed and Diane gripped Jonas' arm tight. "Do you think it went well?"
"Are you gonna go knock on his door and ask? Or should we tap his phone line this time?" Jonas chuckled at his wife's pout. "We'll hear about it in due time. Good night, Di."
"Good night."
They both settled in, officially this time. If things kept going well like this, they'd be inviting Eddie over to dinner soon.
Part 4
Don't worry, we're gonna get some actual steddie focus soon. And Jonas still needs to warm up to Eddie all the way.
Tag Team
@tartarusknight @swimmingbirdrunningrock @estrellami-1 @potato-of-the-lord @dragonmama76 @m-owo-n @sticknpokelightningbolt @somegirlsomewhere @tinyplanet95 @samsoble @runniem
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creedslove · 3 months
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DON'T DO THIS 💍
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Husband's best man!Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: He loves you and he can't bear the possibility of seeing you marry another man
Warnings: angst, cheating, unrequited love, mentions of smut
A/N: idk besties, I came up with the idea of a short drabble because of this picture as it gives serious Joel Miller vibes, but not just any kind of Joel Miller, it gives me best man at a wedding Joel Miller kinda vibes 🤩😜
0.9k words
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“Please don't do this”
Joel's voice made you jump even if his tone was low, just a little bit more than a humble whisper, making you snap back into reality and turn around to face him.
“What are you doing here, Joel?! You were supposed to be at the altar now, right next to my fiance!” you replied in an urgent, almost annoyed tone.
Joel shouldn't be there, it wasn't his place to be, he was nothing more than your soon-to-be husband's best man, he shouldn't just barge into the room where you'd spent the last few hours getting ready for your wedding, where you'd put on your wedding dress, done your hair and makeup. It was invasive, not only that, it was heartbreaking and tempting. He was a man, a real one, he was broad and strong, he shouldn't be looking at you the way he was; sad and disappointed eyes as he took a step further and placed his hands on your side, locking you in a grip you didn't actually want to break free from, but you knew you had to.
“I thought I could do it, I thought I could watch you marrying him, but I can't, darling, I want you for myself, I know I'm selfish and I have no right to ask you this, but please, don't do this..”
“Joel, what we did… it was a one time thing, I shouldn't have happened, it wasn't right, I cheated on my fiance with you to begin with… I was upset and you were there, you held me and made me feel better. It was special, but it was wrong” you could see the way his face fell, he wanted you, he was willing to give you anything if you stepped out of that crazy idea of getting married and finally stayed with him. Joel wasn't stupid, he was well aware of the fact he didn't have much to offer, but he could give you his heart and all the love he felt for you. The love he gathered through the years, ever since his friend introduced you to him. He tried really hard to let go of that feeling, to play it off as a silly crush, a passing crush, but it was impossible. All Joel could think of was you. Your eyes, your smile, your voice, how beautiful and intelligent you were; suddenly, that man who swore he would never let any other woman break his heart, saw himself at your feet. Allowing you to break his heart a little bit every single day without even knowing. He just watched you from afar, loving you, knowing the man you'd chosen wouldn't treat you as good as Joel would. He wanted you and it killed him he couldn't have you.
You, on the other hand, didn't dismiss Joel from your life. Since the day you met, you were taken aback by the fact he was handsome, gentle, sweet, hard-working and it still baffled you a man like himself wasn't taken; you had a soft spot for Joel, he was attractive, but at the same time you were engaged, your fiance was Joel's friend and absolutely nothing would ever come from that.
Until the night you showed up knocking on his door; you weren't proud of that, it shouldn't have happened. But when you saw your fiance walking through the door covered in glitter and smelling like cheap perfume, you knew something had happened in that bachelor party. You weren't a jealous type, but things had a limit and you were certain it had gone way beyond a simple stripper lap dance. No matter how many times you questioned him, even if he wasn't that drunk, you knew your fiance wouldn't tell you the truth, there was only one man who wouldn't falter being honest with you.
Joel Miller.
So when Joel saw you standing in front of him, mascara smeared down your eyes as you blinked away tears, showing him all the hurt you felt after being played by your fiance, he had no doubts. That motherfucker didn't deserve you, he did. So he tried his best to show you he could be good for you, he could be what you were missing out, the way he held you that night, how you asked him for more and more. He stayed between your legs for what it felt like forever and it wasn't enough for him; he wanted to taste you for the rest of his life.
When dawn came, so did reality shattering him once more, you had got dressed and left, asking him not to call you again, which he did, against all his will. But when he saw the opportunity of seeing you again before you could make the worst mistake of your life, he didn't hesitate. Seeing you in a wedding dress was certainly bittersweet. He loved and dreaded that sight in the same intensity. You looked perfect, but you weren't his.
“You don't love him, you know that, it's not too late. You can be happy, you know I can make you happy, all I ask for is a chance and nothing more”
His hand stroked your cheek as you tried hard to fight the desire you felt for him. What if you simply dropped everything behind and went with Joel?! Would it be too bad? For once not looking back and focusing on your happiness first?! You wish you could do it, but unfortunately it was impossible.
“I'm sorry Joel, but no, I won't don't this”
You said and watched pure disappointment in his eyes, the way his hands let go of your body and he nodded, pursing his lips. The rejection stung so hard he didn't think it was possible, but he couldn't force you into loving him. He wished you good luck in nothing more than a whisper and left you, without looking back.
____
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wholoveseggs · 5 months
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Warmth - Part Three
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18+ ---- {Masterlist}
This is just a smutty little thing about being in an arraigned marriage to a certain original vampire.
If you rather read this on Ao3- Link is here
{Part One} {Part Two}
Back in the vibrant streets of New Orleans, relishing in your newfound freedom. Life takes an unexpected turn as the shadows of your past life loom large, pulling you back into the life you just escaped. Yet, amidst the haunting echoes, you find strength in a partner who is ready to go to any lengths for you.
8k words (whoops) - Warnings: Smut, drama & Elijah being a wife guy.
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Part Three
The blissful week of your honeymoon unfolded like a dream, each moment seemingly plucked from a fairy tale. The idyllic cottage, delicious food, and fantastic sex painted a picture of a life you never thought possible.
Now, back in New Orleans, a newfound sense of liberation coursed through you. This freedom allowed you to make choices without restraint, doing whatever pleased you without scrutiny.
You spent the day at the record shop, browsing for a particular album that was deeply sentimental to you. When you found it, you almost squealed with glee, leaving the shop with a huge grin on your face.
You decided to walk back to the compound, enjoying the sun on your bare skin. During your time with the human faction, modest dressing was mandatory, even in sweltering weather. Yet, when Rebekah presented the daring silk backless dress for your wedding, you dared to dream of a possible future with true freedom. Now, you were living it.
However, your happiness took a sudden hit when you crossed paths with some faction wives on the street. Their envious and disdainful looks made you feel self-conscious in your short leather skirt and knee-high boots.
"I thought you would be dead by now," one of them remarked with a sneer, scanning your outfit with disapproval.
"Is your husband just keeping you around as a snack?" another quipped, her words laced with sharp mockery.
"Actually, I just got back from my honeymoon," you replied, trying to politely leave the conversation.
Laughter erupted from the group as they exchanged incredulous looks. "Vampires don't procreate, darling. What's the point of all that?" one of them scoffed.
Your patience wore thin, and with a tight smile, you excused yourself. "Well, I have better things to do than…this. Enjoy your day."
As you walked away, their judgment lingered in the air, casting a shadow over your earlier joy. You knew they were victims just as much as you had been; they coped with their circumstances by making others feel as bad as them. With your head held high, you headed back to the compound, trying not to let them dampen your mood.
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Klaus stormed up to you in a huff, his accusing gaze piercing through you as you entered through the main gate. "Where were you, and what did you do?" he demanded, suspicion heavy in his voice.
"Uhh, I went to the record store and bought a record?" You replied, a confused look on your face.
"There was an attack on a group of vampires, orchestrated by the human faction," Klaus stated, giving you an icy glare.
"I'm sorry to hear that," you said sincerely.
Klaus leaned in, his voice dropping to a dangerous growl. "Are you still involved with the humans? Are you a spy for them?"
"Niklaus," Elijah’s voice cut through the tension, he was standing on the balcony above, giving his brother a stern look. "There's no way she's a spy. She was abused by them, not collaborating with them."
Klaus crossed his arms, skepticism etched on his face. "Abuse could be a convenient cover, Elijah. We both know the lengths people go to achieve their goals."
You stepped forward, a hint of frustration in your voice. "I had a run-in with some of the faction wives. They insulted and questioned me, I'm not a spy."
Klaus raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced. "What did you talk about?"
"Just casual things," you replied with a forced nonchalance. "The honeymoon, mostly. They threw in some comments about vampires not being able to procreate. It was just a rather short and grating interaction."
Elijah descended the stairs and stood beside you, placing a protective hand on your waist. "When did this happen?" He asked gently.
"Like an hour ago," you replied, looking from Klaus to Elijah as they shared a silent exchange. "Do you think the attack has something to do with me?"
"Possibly," Klaus replied, pacing around with his usual dramatic flair. "The attack happened not long after your interaction with them."
Elijah's phone suddenly rang, and his expression turned dark when he answered it. Klaus was staring at him, clearly listening to the conversation you couldn't hear; his expression changed from serious to frighteningly amused.
When Elijah hung up, a heavy sigh escaped him, and he looked at Klaus with a deep furrow in his brow. "It seems we have been invited to a dinner party with your former faction," he said to you, bitterness lacing his tone.
"Why?" you asked, the word barely escaping your lips as a surge of anxiety tightened your throat.
"Apparently, renegotiations," Elijah replied with a hint of darkness in his tone, his gaze locking onto yours. He gently clasped your trembling hand, planting a reassuring kiss against it. "You will be fine," he assured you.
"I thought as much," Klaus said with a bitter laugh, "Looks like your little alliance isn't going as you planned, dear brother."
Elijah shot Klaus a disapproving glare. "I understand you've never approved of my methods, but everything I did was to avoid further bloodshed."
Klaus rolled his eyes, beginning to stroll away, leaving you both with a sardonic smile. "It appears my methods might be more fitting in this situation, unless you're willing to return her," Klaus uttered darkly, gesturing toward you.
Elijah’s grip on your waist tightened. "That's not an option."
"I know, brother, I know," Klaus laughed as he left the courtyard, clearly amused by the whole situation.
Despite Elijah's comforting words, irrational thoughts flooded your mind. Was Klaus right? Was this some cruel ploy to reclaim you, to drag you back into a life you had just escaped?
Elijah sensed your apprehension, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand. "I won't let anything happen to you," he vowed, his eyes filled with a protective intensity.
"You don’t know what they are like," you confessed nervously, your voice barely above a whisper. "What if they want to break the alliance? Take me back?"
Elijah's gaze held a steady determination. "They can break the alliance if they please, but that would be remarkably unwise of them," he replied, his tone unwavering. He tightened his embrace, as if shielding you from an impending storm. "You're not a pawn to be traded back and forth; they have no power to reclaim you."
Elijah's confidence gave you strength, calming the waves of anxiety that threatened to engulf you. He would protect you. No one could take you away from him.
A small smile curled his lips as he placed a soft kiss against your forehead. "This might actually be a blessing in disguise," he mused, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Perhaps a demonstration of their misguided arrogance is required."
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"No," you said firmly, folding your arms across your chest.
"You would look so beautiful in it," Elijah protested, gesturing toward the garment bag draped over a chair.
"It's not really dinner party appropriate," you said with a shrug, not wanting to reveal the real reason behind your reluctance.
Elijah cocked his head, studying you intently. "Is this about the dress or something else?"
You hesitated, glancing away. "It's about everything. The attack, the faction wives, the fact that I'm about to dine with people who treated me like property."
"They have no power over you anymore," Elijah reminded you, gently taking your hand in his. "And where has your rebellious spirit flown off too all of a sudden?"
"I guess I just want to prove them wrong," you said, shrugging slightly. "I want them to see that I've won, that I'm happy. Wearing a dress that is far too risqué would undermine that."
"My dear," Elijah murmured, pulling you close and gently cupping your cheek, "They will never accept you as anything other than an object. No matter what you wear. That is not your burden to bear; it is theirs."
His words pierced through your self-doubt, filling you with a newfound sense of conviction. He was right; your only duty was to be yourself, not to try and live up to their impossible expectations.
"You’re right," you said, looking up at him as a devious smile spread across your lips. "But it will piss them off, and that could make negotiations more difficult."
"It's a risk I'm willing to take," he replied with a smirk, his arms wrapping around your waist affectionately.
Your eyes narrowed, a playful smirk tugging at your lips. "So, you want me to dress up to embarrass them?"
Elijah leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear. "I want you to show them exactly who you are and how powerful you have become," he said softly, giving you an encouraging kiss on the cheek.
With a renewed sense of determination, you stepped towards the garment bag and fully unzipped it, taking out a breathtaking silk dress. It was black, with a daringly low back and a slit that would reveal almost all of your leg. It was the perfect mix of sophisticated and sexy, the kind of dress that the faction would completely disapprove of.
You smiled as you slipped on the dress, savoring the feeling of the cool silk against your skin. A thrill ran through you at the thought of what tonight might bring, a strange mix of anxiety and excitement.
Elijah looked at you, a combination of pride and admiration on his face. The hunger in his eyes was palpable, and it made you want to rip his clothes off and let him have his way with you.
But, alas, there was a dinner party to attend.
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The car pulled up to the grand estate, and the familiar sight stirred memories you had fought hard to bury. The imposing structure, the opulent surroundings—they whispered of a past that still clung to you. It had only been a few weeks since you had left this life behind, and now you were thrust back into its midst.
Elijah ushered you through the door, his hand offering warmth and reassurance as he drew you close. "Try and relax. I will kill them all before they lay a finger on you," he assured with a grin, sealing the promise with a gentle kiss on your cheek before guiding you inside.
As dinner approached, you found yourself surrounded by your adoptive sisters and faction wives, a gathering of women who had consistently cast you as the family's black sheep. The forced marriage to Elijah was intended to be your punishment, and in the weeks leading up to the wedding, they took every opportunity to remind you of it.
Their eyes, once filled with disdain, now flickered with a mix of envy and fear as they noticed Elijah's presence across the room.
"Isn't he attractive," one of them commented, eyes lingering on Elijah. "I wish my husband looked like that."
"He's a vampire, for goodness' sake. I wouldn't want to be near him," another replied, her tone a mix of fascination and repulsion.
You smiled politely, choosing not to engage in their speculative chatter. The women, fueled by curiosity and perhaps a tinge of jealousy, couldn't resist bombarding you with questions.
"So, how does he... treat you?" one of them asked, her expression a mix of faux concern and genuine intrigue.
"Does he, like, drink your blood?" another blurted out with a shudder, as if the mere thought was enough to make her cringe.
"He must mind-control you, being a vampire and all," another woman remarked, her tone dripping with condescension.
You attempted to change the subject. "Do you ladies know what this dinner party is about?" You asked, trying to seem nonchalant.
"Our husbands don't share that sort of information with us," one added, giving you a critical look. "It's not for us to concern ourselves with."
"I've heard it's because your husband is not living up to his end of the deal," another added, clearly loving the chance to gossip.
"No, Elijah is a man of his word." You argued, looking around at the women. "I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding."
"There is no misunderstanding your recent behavior," the ringleader interjected. "Perhaps the faction is unhappy with your marriage, that it's not meeting their expectations," she added, barely hiding her amusement.
"What was the expectation exactly? That I'd be subjugated by my husband?" you replied harshly.
They scoffed, exchanging knowing glances. "You have been parading around like a whore and out in public without an escort. I've also heard rumors about that honeymoon of yours; you always did have a penchant for the scandalous," one of them commented, a malicious smirk playing on her face.
You raised an eyebrow, unable to resist returning their insults. "Well, I suppose being miserable is a tradition around here. But don't worry, I'll let you know if I ever need advice on how to be unhappy and unsatisfied."
"Oh, dear," one of them scoffed, feigning pity. "You must be so blinded by the allure of a vampire that you can't see the chains he'll undoubtedly tighten around you."
Another chimed in, suggesting, "Perhaps he inflicts pain in bed, then erases it from your mind with mind control."
"It's only fitting you endure such punishment, since you tarnished yourself before marriage," added another with a venomous tone.
"You know, it's fascinating how you all revel in your misery," you retorted, your words cutting through the whispers of the women.
"I heard vampires get bored easily," one of them sneered. "What happens when he loses interest in you?"
As their petty remarks continued, you maintained your composure, refusing to let their jealousy and bitterness affect you. Just before the conversation could delve further into the realm of absurdity, Elijah gracefully approached, cutting through the toxic atmosphere with his warm presence.
"Ladies," he greeted them with a charming smile, "how delightful to see you all."
They greeted him with forced smiles, their eyes shifting between you and Elijah. The ringleader couldn't resist her curiosity. "Are you happy with your new bride, Mr. Mikaelson?"
Elijah's eyes met yours, a fondness in their depths. "Immensely," he replied sincerely. "I believe I've married the best your faction has to offer."
A collective gasp rippled through the women, and you couldn't help but smirk at their transparent jealousy. Elijah then turned to you, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek that seemed calculated to fuel their envy.
"I must steal my lovely wife away for a moment," he announced, gently leading you away from the disapproving gazes. The lingering resentment from the women was almost tangible as you followed Elijah, escaping the judgmental whispers.
"They implied that they know details about our honeymoon, what a bunch of fucking weirdos," you whispered to Elijah in the shelter of a quiet corridor.
A small, understanding smile played on his lips as he gently pushed you against a wall, leaning in to kiss you softly. "They have spies everywhere," he whispered. His lips then trailed down your neck, each kiss a deliberate act of defiance against the gossiping crowd.
"They are being petty and bitter, still trying to punish me," you admitted breathlessly, your emotions a whirlwind as Elijah's touches sparked a mixture of desire and rebellion.
"What exactly did you do?" Elijah asked, gently pulling away from the delicate curve of your neck, curiosity dancing in his eyes. "You only mentioned that you were not considered pure by them."
You placed your hands on his chest, idly toying with his tie. "I may have been caught, you know, engaging in some activities with a young man in the garden," you confessed, avoiding direct eye contact, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
A low chuckle escaped Elijah, followed by another gentle kiss. "Good work," he teased, his eyes gleaming with amusement. "I'm sure that stirred up quite a reaction." 
"It did," you responded, a sheepish grin crossing your face. "They couldn't proceed with marrying me off to his father after that."
You made eye contact with Elijah and the both of you burst out laughing, the sound echoing unexpectedly in the quiet corridor. Swiftly realizing the need for composure, you both attempted to stifle the laughter.
"We can always try to further tarnish your reputation," Elijah teased, a playful grin on his lips as he leaned in for another kiss.
Your smile lingered, but you gently pushed him away. "As much as I would love that," you replied playfully, "I believe we should consider playing along. Maybe we can still find a way to maintain some semblance of peace." 
"If that is what you desire," Elijah responded with a smile. He took your hand and led you toward the dining hall.
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The air in the grand dining room was thick with tension as you headed to your seat. This room, once off-limits to you, now hosted a gathering that felt more like a trial than a negotiation. Familiar faces, some masked in false pleasantries, stared back at you. Uncomfortable memories resurfaced, and you wished you could erase the knowledge of these people from your past.
Elijah guided you with a protective hand on the small of your back, his presence a reassuring anchor in the storm of emotions. You sat down next to your adoptive mother, avoiding her icy gaze. The air was thick with tension, and the clinking of cutlery against fine china echoed through the room.
Your former adoptive mother stood, gesturing for the other guests to remain seated. Her stern gaze turned to you and Elijah.
"It is so good to see you both," she began, her voice dripping with fake sincerity. "I'm sorry we haven't had the opportunity to properly catch up."
You forced a smile, hoping it was convincing enough. "The pleasure is all ours, mother," you lied. "Thank you for hosting such a wonderful evening."
The dinner progressed as expected, with the usual banal small talk and insincere pleasantries. You could feel the tension in the room, a palpable reminder that no one truly wanted you here.
As the dessert was taken away, your adoptive father stood and cleared his throat, capturing the attention of everyone in the room. "Mr. Mikaelson," he began, addressing your husband with a stern gaze, "It seems that we must discuss some new terms if our alliance is to be maintained."
Elijah, ever composed, inclined his head slightly, acknowledging the formality. "I am open to discussions," he replied evenly.
"When we agreed to marry one of our precious daughters to you, we expected a more old-fashioned approach. There must be a clear understanding of hierarchy. We are aware that our dear daughter may have... unconventional views on equality, but for the sake of harmony, you must maintain a certain level of control over her." your adoptive father continued, his gaze unwavering.
"So, you’ve called me here to discuss… what exactly?" Elijah asked, his voice dripping with disdain. "That I make my wife unhappy?"
The tension in the room escalated, each word carrying the weight of expectations and the unspoken threat of consequences. You gripped the edge of your chair, feeling the eyes of the faction bore into you.
"Our faction values tradition, and you and your wife's... liberal perspectives should not compromise the delicate balance we've achieved." Your adoptive mother added, her tone icy. 
"My understanding is that you view me as an evil, degenerate monster, and yet you willingly gave your daughter to my family." Elijah said smoothly, leaning casually in his chair and looking around the table at the cowering faces. "It was you that insisted on a marriage pact, because you wanted to punish her."
Your former adoptive mother sighed and rolled her eyes. "She was always a rebellious child, and we had hoped she would learn some discipline under your watch."
"You have no authority to impose any rules over my wife, and as her husband, I have every right to ensure her happiness," Elijah replied, his voice low and dangerous.
The faction members exchanged uneasy glances, sensing a shift in the balance of power. Elijah continued, sarcasm lacing his words. "I apologize that your punishment didn't go as planned… but that's not my concern. Now do you have anything of actual value to discuss with me?"
Amidst the whispered threats and veiled insults, your adoptive mother leaned in, her voice a venomous whisper. "You're nothing more than a vampire's whore, my dear. He'll grow tired of you, mark my words. You'll age, and when you're no longer a viable hole, he'll discard you like yesterday's trash."
The words cut deep, and you shot her a wounded look. It wasn't the first time they had called you a whore, but it stung more this time. 
"I'd rather be a vampire's whore than a spineless, miserable woman like you." You seethed. The words were out of your mouth before you could think.
She laughed, her voice sharp and cold. "You truly are a disgrace to the family."
Before you could respond, Elijah placed a calming hand on yours. He smiled, the gesture a sharp contrast to the rage you knew he was fighting to control. "Let me make something perfectly clear. She is a Mikaelson now and you have no control over what we do,"
Elijah's voice, though measured, carried a stern authority that demanded attention. The faction members, accustomed to their position of influence, shifted uncomfortably in their seats. Your adoptive mother, however, met Elijah's gaze with a defiant smirk.
"We understand, but surely you can see the wisdom in maintaining a balance between power and freedom. You wouldn't want our factions to go to war because of her actions, now would you?" Your adoptive mother challenged, her gaze fixed on Elijah.
Elijah's lips curved into a sardonic smile. "You seem to be under the illusion that I need this alliance. I agreed to it for the sake of peace, but do not mistake my compliance for weakness. I could easily rip out every single one of your tongues before you could utter a word in protest."
The room fell silent, and a cold shiver ran down the spines of the faction members as they found themselves face to face with the unyielding determination of a thousand-year-old vampire. Elijah's eyes gleamed with a dangerous glint, and the air became charged with an unmistakable tension.
Your adoptive father, attempting to salvage some semblance of control, stammered, "Mr. Mikaelson, there's no need for threats. We are merely trying to establish a harmonious relationship."
Elijah's gaze remained fixed on your adoptive mother, his tone low and menacing. "My family has a tendency to respond decisively when one of our own is threatened."
Elijah's words hung in the air like a dark omen. The grand dining room, once a space for diplomacy and negotiation, now crackled with an impending sense of conflict. The faction members, who had been so assured of their position, exchanged uneasy glances as the weight of Elijah's threat settled over them.
Your adoptive mother, her earlier bravado waning, swallowed hard. The malicious glint in her eyes faded into a flicker of doubt. For the first time, the façade of control she had meticulously maintained began to crumble.
Elijah rose to his feet, causing unease to ripple through the faction members. He bestowed upon them a sinister smile, wide but devoid of warmth, "Well then, it appears negotiations have reached their conclusion." His gaze shifted to your adoptive father, the sinister expression unwavering. "If we are not allies, I suppose we are at war."
With that, Elijah turned to you, reaching out his hand, and together, you walked out of the room, leaving the faction to their fear and uncertainty. The night air was cool and fresh as you stepped out into the garden, the tension finally releasing from your shoulders. Elijah's presence beside you was comforting, a solid reassurance that the night was over.
He pulled you close, his eyes searching yours. "Are you alright?" he asked softly, his hand caressing your cheek.
You smiled, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. "I'm fine," you replied, leaning into his touch. His other hand found yours, fingers intertwining in a silent affirmation of unity.
"You didn't have to do that for me," you said quietly, feeling far too vulnerable to meet his gaze.
"Of course I did," he replied, softly, placing a lingering kiss on your cheek. "You are my family."
As you gazed into his eyes, a feeling of longing bloomed within you. "I can't believe you threatened them like that," you breathed.
"Well, they were being quite rude," Elijah remarked, his voice tinged with amusement.
His lips grazed yours in a soft kiss, his arms pressing your body to his. You let yourself sink into the moment, savoring the quiet intimacy. He pulled away from the kiss and looked around the garden, giving you a mischievous look. “You know… I have an idea,"
You raised an eyebrow, amused by his sudden playful demeanor. "Oh, really? And what would that be?"
He didn't answer, but his eyes sparkled with mischief. You followed him deeper into the garden, where he pulled you close and began to kiss you again. His hands moved up your back, tracing your bare skin with his fingertips.
"Elijah," you gasped, his touches setting every nerve on fire. “What if they catch us out here?" 
He didn't respond, just kissed you harder, his lips hungry and eager. You surrendered to the kiss, letting yourself fall into the passion of the moment.
The night air was filled with the sound of your breathless moans as Elijah kissed your neck, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin. He slowly pulled down the straps of your dress, revealing your bare chest to the moonlight.
His eyes roamed over your body, taking in every curve and inch of skin. He cupped one breast, teasing the nipple with his thumb. Your breath caught as his other hand slipped under the slit of your dress, his fingers exploring the hem of your panties.
“Where exactly did they catch you with that boy?" He whispered in your ear.
"Behind the fountain," you said, the memory making you blush.
A playful smile danced across his lips. He took your hand and led you behind the stone sculpture, pressing you against the wall. He kissed your neck, his lips lingering on the soft skin. You felt his fingers sliding under the thin fabric of your underwear.
You bit your lip, stifling a moan as his fingers brushed against your clit, his eyes fixed on your face. He stroked the sensitive spot slowly, watching your reaction with a satisfied smile.
"Did he touch you here?" he asked softly.
"Yes," you managed to breathe out, your heart racing at the memory.
Elijah's lips curved into a smirk, his gaze darkening. He pressed his body closer, a hand running down your leg and lifting your thigh around his hip. His fingers continued their gentle rhythm before he slipped a finger inside you, his lips inches away from yours.
"And did you enjoy it?" he whispered.
"Yes," you gasped.
He increased the pressure, his fingers moving faster, drawing a gasp from you. You felt the familiar tightening in your stomach, the heat building between your legs.
"I bet he was clumsy and inexperienced," he teased, his voice a low purr.
You moaned in response, your eyes closing as his fingers slid deeper.
"I bet he didn't know how to please a woman like you."
His breath was hot on your skin as his fingers continued their slow rhythm, driving you closer and closer to the edge.
"Elijah," you whimpered.
"What is it, sweetheart?" he asked.
"I need more," you pleaded.
His lips curved into a smirk. "More, what?"
"Stop teasing me," you moaned, gripping at his shoulders.
He chuckled and slid a second finger inside you, curling them at the perfect angle. You gasped as his fingers began moving faster, his thumb circling your clit. Your breath came in short gasps, your body trembling under his touch.
You felt the pressure building, your hips bucking against his hand, desperate for release. 
He withdrew his fingers and his lips captured yours, kissing you deeply. You whined into his mouth, desperately frustrated by his denial. 
“Please fuck me," you begged, your hands gripping his hair, keeping him close to you.
“Where is the nearest bench?" He teased, a wide lustful smile on his face. 
You pointed to a nearby stone bench behind him and he scooped you up and in a flash you were seated in his lap upon it. 
His lips claimed yours again, and his hands gripped your hips. You straddled him, your hands roaming his body, feeling his muscles flex beneath his shirt. You could feel his cock straining against his pants, and you rubbed yourself against it, desperate for friction.
"So impatient," he teased, his voice a low growl.
You reached down, unbuckling his belt and undoing his pants. You took him in your hand, stroking him slowly. His breath hitched, his hips bucking against your touch.
“You know, I had this particularly naughty idea of fucking you right on the dining table," he purred, gazing at you with admiration.
You moaned at the thought, imagining him taking you on the grand table, surrounded by the shocked faces of the faction members. You lifted yourself slightly and lowered onto his length, savoring the way he filled you.
His eyes closed, a soft groan escaping his lips. You began to move, riding him slowly, taking him deeper with each thrust.
His hands gripped your hips, guiding you as you rocked against him. You moaned, feeling the tension building again. You leaned forward, pressing your breasts into his face.
He began kissing and sucking your nipples, his teeth gently scraping against the sensitive skin. The sensation sent shivers through your body, and you cried out, arching your back.
You quickly covered your mouth, afraid of getting caught. He smiled, his hands pulling your arms away, allowing your moans to fill the air.
"Let them hear," he growled.
He gripped your hips tighter, thrusting up into you with a fierce intensity. You leaned forward, burying your face in his neck, muffling your cries. You began to tighten around him, your body shaking with pleasure.
"I told you, sweet wife, don't be quiet," he commanded.
You let go, moaning his name as the orgasm rocked your body. Your nails dug into his shoulders, and you felt him tense, his cock pulsing inside you as he filled you with his cum.
You collapsed against him, breathing heavily, and his arms wrapped around you. He kissed your temple, holding you close.
"Are you ready to go home?" He asked softly.
You nodded, still catching your breath. "Yes."
He smiled and picked you up, his arms cradling you. You felt safe and content in his embrace, the stress of the evening fading away. He set you down near the car, some of the faction members had gathered outside, watching you with disapproving glares. 
“They definitely heard us," you whispered as Elijah opened the passenger door for you.
He leaned down and kissed you on the cheek, the gesture full of warmth and love. "Good," he said. "Let them hear how happy I make you."
As you sat in the car, watching him walk around to the driver's side, a thought crossed your mind. This was what real freedom was, the freedom to love and be loved. It was not the absence of boundaries, but the choice to cross them when it suited you.
You gazed at Elijah, his eyes shining in the dim light of the car, and your heart swelled. It was in that moment you realized that you had truly fallen for him.
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When you arrived at the compound, Elijah went off to discuss matters with Klaus, and you returned to your bedroom. You were still getting used to the place being your home. Elijah put in a lot of effort to make you feel comfortable, even suggesting renovations. You laughed at the idea, the entire concept so foreign to the life you had always known.
You eyed the record you had purchased that morning; after the day's events, you had completely forgotten about it. You smiled and unwrapped it, placing it on the new record player Elijah had bought for you.
You smiled as the music filled the room, pulling off your dress and changing into more comfortable clothing. Then you settled by the fireplace, sinking into the sofa and letting out a soft sigh of contentment. Feeling relaxed was something you had to practice. Living back with the faction, you were always on edge, and even when you slept, your dreams were fraught with anxiety. But somehow, here, surrounded by the deadliest family on earth, you felt safe and calm.
You heard a knock at the door and expected to see Elijah, to your surprise it was Klaus, leaning in the doorframe with his usual causal arrogance.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I was wondering if we could have a little chat," he said, a sly smile playing on his lips.
Curiosity piqued, you invited him in and he took a seat next to you. 
"Now that you're part of the family, I thought it was high time we got to know each other better," Klaus began, his tone surprisingly genial.
You seized the opportunity to address the lingering suspicion. "Do you still think I'm a spy?"
Klaus brushed off the question with a chuckle. "Let's leave suspicions behind for now. I'm more interested in hearing about your honeymoon, the one I so thoughtfully planned."
“It was lovely," you said sincerely, giving him a kind smile. “But the lingerie was a bit presumptuous of you," you teased.
Klaus chuckled, "Well, I thought if you two bonded, such undergarments would be appreciated."
You rolled your eyes at his comment, “well, the rest of it was very nice," you replied politely. “But I'm confused as to why you planned it in the first place," 
Klaus leaned back, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Why not? I enjoy orchestrating delightful surprises, and what better way to test the strength of your newfound alliance than a romantic getaway?"
You raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "I thought you hated the alliance,"
He smirked. “I just wanted you two lovebirds to have a memorable time."
You sighed, realizing Klaus's motives were often shrouded in layers of complexity. "Fair enough. It was, indeed, memorable."
He leaned in, his tone turning more serious. "I hope the robbers didn't rough you up too much,"
Your eyes narrowed. "Elijah told you about that?"
Klaus shrugged coyly, "I just hope it didn't dampen the mood,"
You frowned. "Are you saying you orchestrated that?"
“When Elijah told me he was to marry, I did my research," Klaus gave you a knowing grin. “I was confused as to why the human faction would marry one of their women to a vampire, they loathe our very existence. They treat their women like livestock, to be traded and bred, so why would they insist on a marriage when they gain nothing from it? Then, I learned you were a bit infamous for being promiscuous."
You blushed, hating the knowledge of your poor reputation spreading. “Great," you said sarcastically, unable to meet Klaus’ gaze.
“I knew Elijah would treat you with the kind of respect you had never experienced before and the faction wouldn't be pleased, when they obviously handed you over as a way to hurt you," Klaus continued, giving you a wicked grin. 
“How perceptive of you," you replied sardonically. “I fail to see why having me attacked on my honeymoon factors in," 
Klaus leaned back, a self-satisfied smile on his face. "You see, my dear, Elijah has a weakness. He can't resist saving a pretty face, and most women can't resist his heroic charm. It was meant to be a bonding exercise."
“So you saw a way to break the alliance, by using me to manipulate Elijah," you responded, a mixture of disbelief and frustration coloring your tone.
Klaus's eyes twinkled with mischief. "Oh, my dear, alliances in our world are as fickle as the wind. I merely set the stage for the inevitable. The human faction, their minds poisoned by centuries-old prejudices, would never truly accept a truce with vampires. This little ordeal was just the spark needed to set the powder keg ablaze."
You sighed, realizing that in the world of vampires, alliances and betrayals were as common as the moon in the night sky. "And what if I had been seriously hurt?"
Klaus's expression turned serious, a rare glimpse of sincerity in his eyes. “I compelled that robber to rough you up, not kill you," 
Despite the reassurance, a lingering unease settled in the pit of your stomach. "So, what now? Are we on the brink of war?"
Klaus chuckled, the sound carrying a hint of danger. "War, my dear, is inevitable. It's just a matter of when and how. I'm merely expediting the process. The human faction will never peacefully coexist with us. It's in their nature to fear what they don't understand."
You leaned back, grappling with the weight of the revelation. The idyllic honeymoon, orchestrated by Klaus, was nothing more than a chess move in a larger game of power and dominance. You were a pawn, unwittingly playing your part in a conflict that seemed destined to unfold.
"And what about Elijah?" you asked, your gaze piercing Klaus's calculating façade.
"Elijah will do what he must to protect what he loves," Klaus replied cryptically. "As will I."
“Well, just so you know, what you did wasn't even necessary," you replied, the flames from the fireplace dancing in your eyes. “Elijah and I had already bonded before the attack," 
Klaus let out a soft chuckle and stood up, “Elijah generally has that effect, I was just ensuring it," he teased. “Welcome to the family love," with that, he departed, leaving you equally annoyed and amused. 
Elijah returned shortly after, wearing an expression of irritation. He settled down beside you, casually draping his arm over the back of the sofa behind you. 
You smiled at him. "Bad meeting?"
He let out a tired sigh. "My brother has decided to be insufferable. But that's nothing new… I heard him come by here afterwards, what did he want from you?"
You turned to him, giving him a teasing smile. "Oh, you know, just trying to find out how the honeymoon was."
Elijah raised an eyebrow, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. "Did he mention how he set us up?"
"Yes," you replied with a chuckle, “he definitely gives interesting wedding presents."
Elijah's gaze softened. "I am sorry for my brother's antics."
"Well, I suppose it all worked out, except that we are now on the brink of war," you said with a teasing smile, leaning closer and kissing him.
Elijah brow furrowed and he sighed deeply, not returning the kiss. You gave him a concerned look, cupping his cheek as he avoided your gaze. “Care to go for a walk?" he proposed.
You nodded, a hint of anxiety bubbling within.
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The journey led you to a quiet park bench overlooking the water. The night was still, the sky painted in inky black hues, and the only sounds were the distant hum of crickets and the gentle waves hitting the rocks.
"I want to discuss something important with you," Elijah spoke quietly, avoiding direct eye contact.
“The breaking of the alliance will have consequences, and you will be in the crossfire," he explained seriously, his hand finding yours. "This marriage puts a target on your back. I offer you your freedom—you can leave. I'll provide all the money you'll ever need, and you can make a real life for yourself, far away from this world."
In contemplative silence, you looked at Elijah. His expression held profound sadness. Though you hadn't known him for long, you understood the depth of his selflessness, doing what he believed was right, not necessarily what he desired.
"Elijah," you said softly, reaching out to cup his cheek. "You are the first person in my life who actually cares about me, and in return, I care about you. I'm not going anywhere."
"You won't have the life you deserve with me," he asserted, placing his hand on yours. "You can go, find a love you choose, have children, do whatever you want."
With a deep breath, you gazed into Elijah's eyes, unwavering in your determination. "I take my vows as seriously as you do," you asserted, your voice steady. "I choose you, Elijah."
He nodded to himself, his gaze shifting to the tranquil water. In a sudden, graceful move, he moved off the bench and dropped to one knee, looking at you with a serious expression, his eyebrows slightly raised. Elijah removed his daylight ring, extending it towards you.
"What are you doing?" you asked in surprise, chuckling at his gesture. "You are ruining your pants, kneeling in the dirt."
"Will you be my wife?" he asked, a gentle smile gracing his lips.
"Pretty sure I already am," you laughed, reaching out to pull him back to the bench, but he playfully slapped your hand away.
He chuckled softly, his eyes gleaming with affection. "This time, it's your choice,"
A warm smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you realized the sincerity in his eyes. "Yes," you answered, your voice filled with a mixture of joy and affection. "I would be honored."
Elijah's eyes softened, a genuine happiness reflecting in them. He slipped the daylight ring onto your finger and then pulled you into his arms. In the warmth of that park, surrounded by the night's stillness, you kissed him. Then, you uttered those three powerful words for the first time. "I love you, Elijah."
His eyes, already soft with affection, seemed to deepen in emotion. A wide smile spread across his features, and he pulled you even closer, as if wanting to etch this moment into eternity. "And I love you."
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Epilogue
The sun streaming through the curtains roused you from sleep, and as you turned, you found your husband still in peaceful slumber. His serene expression intrigued you, wondering about the pleasant dreams that might be occupying his mind. You rested your head on his shoulder, snuggling close and listening to his deep breathing. He let out a soft sigh and a gentle grunt as he woke, kissing the top of your head sleepily. His arms wrapped around you, as he rested his head on yours. 
Your fingers traced a path down his chest and torso, igniting a warmth that intensified between your legs. Slipping beneath the blankets, your hand settled over his boxers, sensing his arousal growing beneath your touch.
"Hmm," he mumbled, his finger gently lifting your chin, tilting your head upward, and capturing your lips in a kiss.
A smile played on your lips as you returned the kiss, your hand continuing its slow, teasing strokes through the fabric.
Elijah responded with a low, appreciative hum, his hands exploring the curves of your body as the intensity between you two escalated.
With a subtle movement, he guided you onto your back, breaking the kiss only momentarily. His eyes locked onto yours, a deep intensity reflecting in them.
“What does my lovely wife desire so early in the morning?" He teased, his lips mere inches from your own. 
You let out a soft laugh, feeling the warmth of the morning sunlight creating a cocoon around the two of you. "Mmm...I have a few ideas," you whispered, your voice carrying a hint of playful mischief.
He grinned, his eyes brightening as he lowered his head, his lips grazing your neck. Your eyelids fluttered closed, as you sighed in contentment. The sensation of his mouth and hands elicited a series of breathy moans, a warm ache building between your legs.
“Does my wife need me to fuck her into our bed?" he asked in a soft tone, his hands parting your legs. 
You bit your lip, your eyes meeting his with an intensity that mirrored the desire growing within you. "Desperately," you admitted, a playful gleam in your eyes.
Elijah's hands traced a tantalizing path up your thighs, and his lips met yours in a hungry kiss. “Already so wet for me," he murmured in your ear, his finger brushing over your clit, causing your hips to twitch. Elijah continued to touch you with slow deliberate circles, each movement bringing you closer to the edge.
Unable to resist any longer, you tugged at his boxers. Elijah positioned himself between your legs, the anticipation in his eyes mirroring your own. Eagerly, you reached down, freeing him and rubbing the head of his cock against your wet core.
“Tell me what you want," he whispered, his voice a sultry invitation.
A breathy moan escaped your lips as you met his intense gaze. "I want you," you admitted, desire lacing every word.
Elijah's eyes darkened with a mixture of passion and possessiveness. Without breaking eye contact, he slowly entered you, and a simultaneous gasp of pleasure escaped both of you.
He set a pace of slow, deep strokes, the soft, wet sounds of your bodies colliding filling the room. His eyes were locked onto yours with such intensity that it made your heart skip. The love you shared being conveyed through the physical.
You both moved to a familiar rhythm, his fingers intertwined with yours, pressing them next to your head. The pleasure mounted with every movement, and the warmth from the sun beaming through the curtains covered you in a comforting embrace. He captured your lips again in a soft kiss, his tongue sweeping against yours, as he continued to fuck you at an agonizing pace. The combination of his kisses and the slow, steady thrusts were driving you wild.
“Elijah," you moaned as your climax began to build, the intensity of it threatening to overwhelm you. 
Elijah lifted his head, a smug, satisfied grin spreading across his face. "You are so beautiful when you moan my name like that," he commented.
Elijah kissed you again, and then his lips grazed your neck, his teeth nipping and sucking gently on the sensitive skin. Your breaths came in short gasps as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge.
You let out a low moan, as his cock began to hit your sweet spot with every stroke, a wave of pleasure running through your body. He continued his movements, his hand finding its way between your bodies, and his thumb stroking your clit.
"Come for me, darling," he murmured, you could feel his warm breath against your neck.
Your head fell back and your eyes closed, as you focused on the feeling of his cock moving in and out of you. A tingling sensation ran through you, and the familiar warmth spread across your body, as you climaxed.
Elijah groaned as you clenched around him and he leaned back, tossing the blankets off of you and splaying his hands across your thighs and pushing them wider. He increased his pace, rolling his hips into you to maintain his deep strokes.
“I can't believe you are all mine," he said in amazement.
Your body trembled with the aftershocks, and you could already feel another orgasm building within you. Elijah continued to rock his hips, and you whimpered with pleasure. He pulled almost completely out, and then thrust back into you, hitting your sweet spot, and making you cry out.
The sensations were overwhelming and you were desperate to hold onto this moment for as long as possible.
“Elijah, please," you begged, not even knowing what for. 
He leaned forward as his fingers tugged on your hair, tilting your head back and exposing your throat. His lips grazed your skin, then he began sucking hard enough to leave a mark. He moved to your mouth, capturing it in a rough, possessive kiss, his tongue tangling with yours.
The sensation sent shivers through your body, and you were so close to the edge that you felt your toes curling.
"I want you to come for me again," he whispered, his words sending a thrill of pleasure through your body.
"Oh, Elijah," you moaned.
“No pretty wife, that's not what I want you to call me," he said teasingly, slowing his pace down and grazing his fingers over your clit once more.
"Husband ," you moaned, feeling a rush of heat through your body as the word slipped from your lips.
"Good wife," he praised.
He continued to move his hips in a torturously slow rhythm, his cock sliding in and out of you with ease. His thumb pressed harder on your clit, rubbing circles, and you writhed, moaning as he brought you closer to your second orgasm.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him against you, needing him, craving him, wanting him more than anything in this moment. Your breaths were ragged as you kissed him, your body trembling as your eyes widened and your back arched as a second orgasm washed over you. You tightened around him and you felt his hips buckle, his thrusts becoming erratic.
He let out a deep moan, burying his face in your neck. Your hands ran through his hair and you pulled his head up, pressing your lips against his. You moaned into his mouth, and you felt his hips buck as he emptied himself into you, the sensation causing your hips to rise and meet his, the waves of pleasure consuming you both.
He collapsed beside you, breathing heavily, and pulling you close, as you both bathed in the warmth of the morning sun.
You rested your head on his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a comfort.
You felt Elijah's lips brush against your forehead and his fingers tilt your chin upward. His eyes were soft, a tenderness reflecting in their depths.
"I love you, my dear wife," he murmured.
You smiled, your lips meeting his. "And I love you, my dear husband."
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Thanks for reading Part 3!
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{Part One} {Part Two}
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kokoa-la · 9 months
Text
Paper Clips Make Good Lock Picks- part two
Part 1
"Still going to ignore me?"
...
"Okay okay you got me. Let's get out of here first. We have an hour and a half before another teacher comes in and watches us for the last 15 minutes."
"What's your name?"
Oh, Danny forgot to introduce himself huh? 
"Danny."
"No last name?" 
"You haven't made it far on the friends list"
"Wow friends already? We just met"
"You're breaking out of detention with me. You picked a lock for me, that's called being friends."
"Do you make all your friends by committing crimes together?"
"Only the best ones"
Danny smiled before walking out and checking the hallway side to side. All clear. 
He waved Tim over and out of the classroom. 
"You know this whole hallway is under watch right? There's cameras here." 
"They don't work."
"What?" 
Danny laughed a little before signaling Tim to follow after him against the wall. 
"You didn't know? After school hours certain cameras shut down. In fact, a lot of them are broken and they never paid to get them repaired. That's why they accept bribes. They lie about having proof of crimes, works every time."
"What are you talking about?"
Danny groaned. Of course Tim didn't know about this, he was one of the rich kids they'd exploit. Danny as well as the other kids who were here off of scholarships or special deals knew about the tactic and had ways to avoid it, but rich kids like Tim didn't need to avoid it. The halfa cursed at the unfairness of life. 
"Of course you don't know. The teachers here scam the rich kids. They accuse them of crimes they didn't commit and because their parents never care for proof, only reputation, they bribe them right away without even asking for the evidence. It's happened so many times and it's why when actual problems happen it's swept up under the rug."
"Are you serious?"
"Uh yeah dude. Usually kids like me try their best to avoid it. Meaning don't fight back, don't stay after school, don't go to the bathroom for anything other than an emergency, and don't talk back to any teachers at all. Those are the basics when you're not as rich as everyone else."
"So that's why you're so adamant on being framed, but couldn't you just ask them for proof it was you?"
"Not that easy. I don't have a guardian, I'm a 'charity case' as they say it."
He practically spit out that last part. Utter disgust in his tone. 
"No parents, no money, no dice. If I don't find proof myself and publicize it or threaten em with it, I'm stuck for a year. I have things to do you know"
"Like blowing up chemistry labs?"
Tim teased. Danny gave him a look over his shoulder and rolled his eyes.
"Ha. Ha. Ha. You're so funny Tim! I wonder if Andys laughing in the hospital."
"He deserved it."
"And I'm innocent."
The two just stared at each other before Danny laughed and turned back around, continuing his walk. Tim chalked up the whole conversation as something to investigate later at home. His new "friend" was turning out to be a lot more interesting than he let on. 
"So this is you searching for clues? Have you gotten anything since you started"
"Well as I was saying earlier all the cameras in the hallway leading to the lab don't work at certain times, and the ones that were IN the lab are completely unsalvageable. And at the time of the explosion the usual delinquent students - Anderson included - were out of class."
"So they're the prime suspect, no chance of it being anyone else?" 
"Not many motives. If someone was using it for an outside project they didn't have permission, and other than that it's just the love of destroying and messing around."
Danny had led them through the school, taking twists and turns Tim couldn't recognize, eventually they had stopped at a roadblock. The hallway ended where a giant white tarp lay hanging from the ceiling. Caution tape was draped from each side to the other. 
"Where are we?" 
"The scene of the crime." 
Danny smiled before walking towards the plastic covering and picking it up from the ground and waving Tim over. Tim sighed before looking around and following after him, shaking his head on the way over. 
"Don't act all disappointed in me, you're literally following me"
"I may have just met you today but I'm convinced that it I left you alone you'd somehow either die or blow something up"
Oh how Tim didn't know the truth to that statement. Danny gasped and placed his hand over his chest all dramatically, taking false offense. 
"I'll have you know death cannot take me! It has tried and failed. Plus, we've been over this, I'm innocent!"
Tim didn't even want to unpack the first part of that. Logically it could be an exaggeration, but something about it felt a little too real to his senses. 
"Whatever, you felon."
"Delinquent."
"Fair, now let's get going" 
The roles had reversed as Tim took the lead instead. Danny let him despite having been here multiple times over the last few weeks. Maybe Tim would see something he couldn't. 
“So what are you hoping to find?”
“Proof of my innocence, or proof of their crimes.”
“Isn’t finding their crimes easier? Considering a lot of people already know about it.”
“Well yeah, but that’d turn back on me.”
“How so?”
God, Danny wanted to punch him. 
“Because they’d flip it on me and say how did I get the information? They’d accuse me of stealing and breaking and entering. They’d say that a delinquent child like me who hasn’t got good influences in my life would resort to just about anything to get out of punishment-”
“That’s a bit specific, don't cha think?”
“Well I’ve had similar things happen to me before”
Creepy boy with creepy powers rang in his head, he ignored it. 
“Anyways, how am I even going to get that stuff? The principal's office has all of that information and the cameras there are fully functioning and top quality. Plus, how am I supposed to get into their computer? I don’t know the password and I can’t hack shit for the life of me. Programming I can do, but that? Whole new haunt.” 
“Haunt- you know what? I’m not going to question that.”
“Good. We’re running out of time anyways. Choosing all the hallways that don’t have cameras or ones that work took a while. We need to wrap this up in 20 and then go back the way we came.”
Tim nodded and walked a bit faster towards what used to be the chem lab. There was more plastic screening in the way, but it was easily bypassed by the two. 
“There’s no one here.”
“They only do construction on this place during school hours two times a week.”
“Why? That’ll take forever.”
“Exactly.”
Tim’s questions were getting to Danny at this point. While the halfa acted all knowing in the beginning, it doesn’t change the fact that he’s actually clueless beyond what he discovered on his own. He doesn’t know why they’re prolonging the construction, it’s probably another scheme of theirs- or if they’re lucky, an extensive cover up. Danny, in all honesty, just wants to be able to go home to his little trash heap of a living space in Crime Alley and sleep. 
Tim moved forward, being way too careful. Danny knew he was oddly silent, but he could still hear the other, so he didn't question it. Superhuman hearing for the win! 
“Why is the construction flowing this way? The back of the room is close to being done, but the front is still in complete disarray. They shouldn’t be doing parts of the room, but the whole room in steps.”
Yeah, Danny couldn’t answer that one. At this point, he was just assuming that Tim had to verbalize his questions when answering them himself. He didn’t reply, and with the way the other didn’t ask again or even look at him, Danny was right. He was content to just let his detention mate do his thing, lord knows Tim’s smarter than Danny anyways.
Tim stepped forward cautiously. The ground was still slightly unsteady considering only like 15% of the room had the floors replaced. Now that Danny thought about it, that was weird. He may be clueless about anything other than ghosts and space, but even he knew that foundations were placed first. This is a dangerous and even unsafe way to do construction. Why repair one part of the room first and then bleed out? Was something hidden in that area? Plus, there was still debris from the explosion- 
“What do you think they’re hiding?”
“We’re about to find out.”
Wow, Tim was really invested now. Danny would have just gone back by now and visited tomorrow, but Tim is full on interested. 
All that was left to do was follow the rich kid further in the room. 
“Careful some of the paint is wet.”
Danny didn’t even want to ask how the other knew that from this distance. Danny could tell, but again, super human senses, Tim? Fully human. It didn’t really matter that much though, so he just followed him further and stepped around certain tiles. 
Tim started inspecting just about everything. Nothing was safe. Every piece of wood, every corner, every point in which two colors met- the guy even pulled out a leveler. Where did he get that? You know what? Didn’t matter. Danny was giving his best in minding his business. If it got him set free? He’d ask zero questions- consider his curiosity swallowed. 
“Tim, we have to go. We’re almost out of time.”
“Is it just me or is this cement not level, and doesn’t the drywall seem incorrect to you?”
Tim finally turned back to Danny, breaking out of his investigator mode. The halfa sighed before stepping over to where his new friend was, taking a closer look at what Tim was pointing out. He was right. The cement was uneven against the wall. It was strange considering Chemistry labs required tile flooring. The tiles wouldn’t go well if it wasn’t steady. Plus, the walls were supposed to be in levels: cement, then insulation, then final layer (could be anything really). The drywall set up wasn’t screwed in correctly, and Danny was pretty sure he could see the insulation in some parts. Considering special tiles or substances had to be used over the drywall to make the chemistry lab safe and usable, it wasn’t a good base. 
Okay, Danny will admit, maybe he did do a little bit of research into chemistry labs. It was a rabbit hole he couldn’t escape when listening to Mr.Lanch drag on and on about the 5 page essay due in a month. He was bored, sue him. He was used to being attacked by ghosts everyday, this place was tame. Sure, it was exhausting, but it was still interesting. 
“This isn’t right. The concrete has cracks in it.”
“So?”
“The school is supposed to use epoxy for the flooring, but for that to work the cement underneath it has to be perfect. This is far from that.”
“But they’re doing tiles, not resin.”
Tim gave Danny a look, and it honestly made him feel poor. Epoxy flooring was expensive- like really expensive- Danny has never seen it before that’s for sure. 
“Danny, the school has enough funding to make 20 of these labs with the highest grade. Tuition alone is insane amounts, even for the rich. The facilities the place offers should be of the highest quality. Even if the floors have to get replaced every few years, it states on the website that it’s supposed to be epoxy.”
Tim took what seemed to be a thousand photos of the area, getting every little detail. 
“Hmm, sounds like they’re cutting corners to cut costs. Leave it to the corrupt.”
“Alright, I got what we needed, let's head back.”
“Thank the Ancients. We’re gonna need to hurry, you know. We took too much time.”
Danny was quick to retrace the steps he took entering, ensuring no more tracks were left. Tim followed suit, and soon enough they were back into the maze of Hallways. This time with Tim leading the way. How the other knew it already when he’d only been through it once was beyond Danny, but again, he wasn’t gonna question it. 
Questioning others gave them a way to ask you questions in return, and Danny wasn’t too keen on answering anything personal.
.
.
.
“Made it!” 
Danny laughed as he slumped in the first seat, dead tired from the way they ran after seeing the clock. They were 10 minutes away when the clock showed they had 5 minutes until a check in. To say they ran would be an understatement. The way the two of them jumped down those stairs would surely raise many questions if Danny was keen to ask, but hey, maybe Tim was one of those ‘do every hobby known to mankind’ rich kids. 
Well his new friend was fit, at the least. Tim hadn’t even broken a sweat, only slightly breathing a little heavier. Danny wished. As a ghost he didn’t have such things as stamina, there was no out of breath when you don’t breathe. As a human, however, he was stuck with meager capabilities he gathered up from running away from bullies and fighting off ghosts with watchful eyes. Seriously, he needed to do whatever Tim was doing (just cheaper). 
Funnily enough, the second Tim sat down a seat away from him, Mr.Lanch entered the room. 
“I see you two have moved. I hope you didn’t cause any disturbances.”
He said while looking directly at Danny. Danny was sure to keep a tight smile on his face, hiding his clenched fist under the desk next to his thigh. 
“No way, sir. I just needed some help on that essay we have. You know I’m a little-”
“Behind, yes, I’m aware. Don’t distract Mr.Drake, he has well enough to do on his own. Am I clear?”
“Yes, yes. Sorry, won’t happen again.”
“Now apologize to Mr.Wayne for bothering him.”
“He wasn’t a bother.”
Tim interrupted, and Danny swore Tim looked annoyed. How come?
“Excuse me?”
“Danny wasn’t bothering me, Mr.Lanch, I was happy to help.”
There was an attitude in his tone, a bit of sharpness that Danny could pick up. He couldn’t for the life of him understand why.
“Yes, well, an esteemed individual such as yourself mustn't get too involved with the likes of him.”
Was this guy for real? Not even bothering to hide the blatant discrimination. Danny refrained from rolling his eyes, his fist clenching ever so tighter, making indents in his skin. 
“What may that mean, Mr.Lanch.”
“Mr.Drake, I’m sure you are well aware that people like… him are not the best influence on those such as yourself.”
Danny could feel the rage bubbling under Tim’s skin- being a sort of empath had its perks. 
“People like him? I am unaware as to what exactly you mean by that.”
Yeah, this was going to continue escalating. Danny cleared his throat, making both of them look over at him.
“I’m sorry Tim for bothering you earlier. It won’t happen again, don’t worry.”
“That’s better like it, now, I will return when time is up. Good day.”
And with that, Mr.Lanch left the room, making Danny sigh in relief. He sunk into his seat and rubbed his fingers over the crescents in his palm. 
“Why did you do that?”
“What?”
Tim gave him an annoyed look.
“Apologize.”
“It’s not that important, Tim. It’s easier on me if I just do what he asks. As long as I don’t get punished too badly it’s fine.”
“Didn’t we just return from trying to prove your innocence?”
“That was different from this. A year of detention and being banned from any labs for the rest of highschool is way too drastic to just take it. I have a thing called a job, Tim, I can’t be here when I could be working. Not all of us have people making food for them anytime they want.”
This was ridiculous. Seriously, Danny may care about justice and all that jazz, but he made a promise to- well- Jazz that he’d finish highschool and do it right. He couldn’t start problems when he already barely got in from this alone. Tim would be fine anywhere he went, Danny wouldn’t, and that’s just the truth. He couldn’t punch his way out of this one, and he accepted that the first month in. It really was Casper high part two, but instead of the treatment being because he was the weird kid, it was because he was the poor orphan. Not much better, now, was it.
Tim finally shut his mouth. Danny allowed himself to roll his eyes before putting his head down on the desk. 10 minutes until freedom. 
Day one was finally over. 
_______________________
Imma be real honest I actually hated part 2 which is why I never posted it, but i've been convinced bcs someone asked for the link to it so i avoided tumblr for a week because i thought itd be mean to show activity and ignore them- so i went back edited it and now theres a part 3 and im worried this will become a short story
anyways enjoy!
Koa out <3
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dailyrothko · 2 months
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So here's the deal:
I just want to be transparent with my tumblr Rothko lovers. I applied and got fiscal sponsorship as a non-profit through Fractured Atlas.
Sadly, "Fiscal Sponsorship" is not what it sounds like, I pay them, they don't pay me. What it allows me to do is take donations and make them tax deductible and secure. I hope it's worth it.
I don't expect my poor pals on tumblr to donate, I don't think most of us have any money or we probably wouldn't be here, however, I am letting you know this because there's now a donate button on the blog.
I'm very poor and needed to do this to realize certain projects Rothko related projects. This is just a voluntary thing, i'm not going behind a paywall. Nothing is changing.
I mention this because their tacky donate button makes it look like I made a deal with the devil, but in actuality it's just for everyone's security.
I hate doing this at all but I am spread very thin. I spend a lot of time and money on this project and that's fine when i can do it, it's a labor of love. But some of it is just becoming impossible for me to maintain and so it goes.
Future projects include-
-I am writing a series of (three) articles I would like to publish about Rothko's impact in the modern world. Scholarly material on Rothko from art historians is good and I don't wish to retread old ground. However, there are some sides of the Rothko legacy I would like to cover based on my experiences, including interviews I have done with people on how they have come to the work (some of you guys), coverage of fakes and misattributions, and biographical impressions based on numerous interviews I have read with his family and friends.
-A bigger and ongoing project would be to create a website and central database that art enthusiasts can use to locate travelling Rothko exhibits and find which paintings are in which museums. Many people ask me these questions personally but if there was a place where all this information lived and someone to update it, people could look up available Rothko works in different cities they are travelling to.
We are living in a troubled world with many humanitarian concerns that should rightly take precedence over my little project, but I am trying to survive myself and lately it's pretty hard.
Thanks to all for 9 years of Rothko love.
(I realized no one can donate on the mobile app, so if you wish to, use this link below.)
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youremyheaven · 1 month
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Ketu: Detachment & Connection
I thought I would expand more on the nature of Ketu in this post. Although both Rahu and Ketu are shadow planets (they are the north and south node of the moon) they experience this darkness very differently. Rahu seeks intense immersion in their experiences and seeks to absorb as much of their material realm (Rahu is the head) but Ketu is disconnected from this completely (Ketu being the headless torso) and even if they want to, they cannot immerse themselves in the material realm, they find it disorienting or simply feel disconnected from it all. Its meaningless to them.
The Ketu nakshatras are Ashwini, Magha & Mula
Ketu is in the darkness and to be Ketuvian is to be in a tunnel perpetually seeking the light. It can be a very uneasy energy to inhabit if imbalanced but this is why spirituality is so important to Ketu natives, they have to cultivate spiritual discipline if they are to peacefully embody this energy and find clarity in its detachment. Most people struggle with overattachment, so having this Ketuvian energy is a great starting point since you're already detached but grounding is very important as there is such a thing as being too detached or uncaring.
The Ketuvian struggle for connection reminds me of certain 8h themes and I think 8housers and Ketuvians have a lot in common in that regard. You need to have an intense kind of connection to feel anything at all, everything else feels kind of mild to your senses. Only intensity can wake you up and make you feel "awake" or "aware" as Ketuvians are sort of in this passive detached state otherwise.
I noticed many of these themes in Jungkook's solo songs. He is a Magha Moon and Mula Rising (he has such a puppy energy, it must be Mula's dog yoni hehe)
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I had mentioned in one of my previous posts that being heavily tatted (a full sleeve of tattoos or just being covered in tattoos) is a very Nodal thing to do because they're plunged in shadows and making a mark spiritually helps them feel more connected or because they have to indulge in the extremes of anything for it to feel impactful.
Jungkook has a song called "Still With You" released in 2020, widely considered a love letter to army. These are the English translation of some of its lyrics that I found correlating to his Ketuvian energy
"That faint voice of yours that grazed me Please call my name one more time I'm standing under the frozen light, but I'll walk step by step towards you Still with you
With no light in the darkroom I shouldn't get used to it But I'm used to it again The low-pitched sound of this air conditioner If I don't have this, I will fall apart We laugh together, we cry together I guess these simple feelings were everything to me"
Fame can be a very intoxicating and addictive experience for Nodal natives. Since they feel very disconnected otherwise, they experience connection when it is pouring in such a large or vast scale. But this sort of dependence on fame and fans can also be destabilising and unhealthy because you never know when it might all go away. Since fame is so fickle, its dangerous to rely on it to feel "connected". This is why soooo many Nodal natives who are celebrities are sooo often self-destructive. You keep chasing that high and you'll never feel satisfied, you can never fill the vacuum you have and the harder you try, the more empty you feel.
I don't say any of this to be discouraging, im only trying to point out the emotional expectations we place upon certain experiences and even relationships and how it turns toxic and unhealthy when we do that. If we were to use another person to feel connected or tethered to the world, whilst it may work for us, they must feel very drained by being our anchor.
Jungkook has another demo called Decalcomania and the lyrics go like this:
When I see you smile in the screen You're good at everything You're just perfect Feels like I've never been you
Do you even see me? Do you know who I am? Or how do I look now? You don't like me like that
Come and tell me so much, you beautiful heart Oh, I'm gonna listen to you Please
All the numbers too big Can't get out of your game Oh, I want to paint it like you Please
I want to be your decalcomania I want you I want to be your decalcomania I want I want you
He is singing about himself and how he feels dissociated from himself. Fame can be a very dissociative experience for Ketu natives as their search for connection means they feel even more disconnected from the person they become to achieve this connection. Decalcomania refers to the process by which engravings are transferred to another surface (paper, pottery etc). It ties back to Ketu's need to be marked upon, they need something to make an impression on them, literally, because otherwise it does not feel real to them. Jungkook is asking himself to transfer the person he sees on screen to himself, so that he can embody the lightness and joy he sees on him.
Jungkook has another solo song called My Time in which he sings:
"24, feels like I became a grown-up faster than everyone else My life has been a movie, all the time I ran to where the sun rises every single night It's like I've been to someone's tomorrow The boy who found the world too big Keep on runnin' errday, pick the mic up Friends ridin' subway, I'll be in the aeroplane mode All over the world rock on, I made my own lotto But is it too fast? There are traces of losses Don't know what to do with, am I livin' this right? Why am I alone in a different time and space?"
Nodal natives (both Rahu & Ketu) regardless of whether they're child stars or not, have to grow up faster than others. This again makes them feel very disconnected from kids their age, you feel vv lonely.
Oh, I think I was in yesterday 'Cause everybody walk too fast I'm a little kid grown up not knowing it (Like a child who got lost) This got me oh just trippin’ It feels I'm roaming over Don't know what to do with, am I livin' this right? Why am I alone in a different time and space?
It feels confusing and disorienting to live a life that others cant relate to you. Immense wealth and fame can make you feel this way but Ketuvians feel this way in general. They look around them and they feel lost like everybody else is moving too fast.
"Sometimes when I'm gasping for air I wear my hat low and keep running Yeah, I don't gotta know where I go Even if it's opposite of sun One time for the present Two time for the past Happy that we met each other Now 'til the very end"
He's expressing his gratitude for everything even though it feels so alienating and confusing.
There is another song called Stay Alive in which he sings:
"그림잔 커져가지만 Although my shadow grows larger,
괜찮아 너란 큰 빛 덕분이니 It’s okay because it’s thanks to the great light that is you"
This is such a sincere explanation of what its like to be a Ketuvian in the limelight, he's thankful for having such a vast fanbase, the source of his "light" (remember that Ketu is in darkness and is always seeking light) but chasing this light means having to morph into somebody else/feeling disconnected from yourself which he succinctly expresses through the line "my shadow grows larger". Since Ketu is in perpetual darkness and is a shadow planet, it does not confront its shadow on its own. Its the seeking, the constant chasing for the light which they need that brings them to see their shadow.
Perhaps you feel very void and disconnected in general but you have a friend or a partner who makes you feel very tethered, through them you absorb their light but this also means you learn to look at yourself more clearly (Ketuvians are blind to their own nature) and this can be a very disconcerting and difficult experience if you've seldom ever felt "seen".
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Emma Watson, Ashwini Sun, Mula Moon
I remember reading this interview in like 2010 where she said that whilst doing red carpets for the last Harry Potter movies she would have these moments where she looked into the mirror and felt very disconnected from the person she saw.
She subsequently turned to yoga and meditation and is even a certified yoga instructor. She has also mentioned going on silent retreats.
Ketu natives truly find balance in their lives when they cultivate a spiritual practice and devote themselves to it. Emma has largely stayed out of the limelight in the last decade or so and will probably continue to do so, this is very Ketuvian again, these natives find social interactions, especially the kind of intensive press tour celebrity life to be very draining, they need to retreat and do things in a way that is "real" to them. Emma has spoken about taking a break from acting and working behind the scenes.
Jungkook deleted his IG despite having 40+ million followers and like most Ketu natives he is very private and has no social media. It does not feel natural or real to them.
In her British Vogue interview, Emma said,
"...Her characters have felt, at times, “much realer” than she was. “I’m just so glad that I did [step away from acting] because I have this feeling of having my own voice and creative space and sovereignty in some way that I don’t think I did before".
This time has allowed Watson to concentrate on her “inner scorecard” (how you feel about yourself on the inside), versus her “outer scorecard” (your outward success, as seen on social media, for example). “I get a front row seat [with] some of the most successful, beautiful, incredible people in the world,” she says of Hollywood’s inner sanctum. “And when you have that seat it becomes very, very clear that there is just absolutely no level of success that will make you in any way happy or content if you do not like who you are or enjoy what you’re doing when no one’s watching.”
All of this feels like evolved, balanced and mature Ketu energy.
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Miranda Kerr, Ashwini Sun
She is another person who I've always thought embodies a very healthy and evolved Ketuvian energy
Here's an excerpt from her interview:
“First, I try to do a little meditation and yoga, depending on how I feel. I've been meditating since I was 18. I've learnt Transcendental Meditation and Kriya Yoga Meditation, but sometimes I'm just too much in my head and so I need to put on an app. I use Insight Timer, which has different guided meditations, from a five- or 10-minute meditation or deeper ones which help if I can't sleep.
“Gratitude puts everything into perspective. The way that we speak to ourselves is really important, and to be aware to pull yourself up if you’re being self-critical and try and look at things in a positive way. For example, we can look outside and say, ‘oh my goodness, I can't believe it's raining’, or we can look outside and go, ‘well, it's cosy when it rains, I'd love to be inside and I get to wear my favourite scarf’ – we can switch our whole perspective on so many things. For me, waking up in the morning and thinking of at least three things I’m grateful for is so important. Just simple things like, ‘I’m grateful that we have fresh running water’.”
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Salma Hayek, Magha Rising
Salma has been practising meditation and yoga for decades and has said: “It’s actually feeling the energy,” she said. “It moves and it dances inside of you, different sensations and emotions. So I use a lot of the frequency machines.”
Hayek claimed that her meditation works wonders for her appearance. “Sometimes when I’m doing it, people tell me when I come out of the room, ‘Oh my god. You look 20 again,'" she said.
She also warned that if she stopped meditating, her face would suffer. “When I don’t do it for a while, guess what?” she said. “The face starts to drop and everything starts to drop.”
Spirituality comes easier for women than men imo and Ketuvian women are more likely to buy into all things spiritual like crystal cleansing, chakra reading and even other offbeat spiritual techniques.
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Gigi Hadid, Ashwini Sun & Rising
Gigi is another person who embodies really healthy Ketuvian energy
In her interviews, she always sounds very grounded and tethered. She said:
"I got pregnant and I really started to think about what I wanted after, when the world opened back up. (she got pregnant during covid) It kept coming back to just a more stabilized schedule where I’m not in a different country every week. This is very stabilizing. I have an office that I come to. I know everyone here. I don’t have to look a certain way to show up. It’s a different experience for me, and it was the right time because I was ready for that,” 
To realize what is causing you to feel unstable and deliberately manoeuvre your life to create that stability requires self-awareness and maturity.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mula Moon
He has talked about how bodybuilding and building his physique really helped him feel connected to himself in a different way. I think this is an interesting manifestation of Ketu's disconnection and need to go to extremes to feel anything. Arnold's workout routine from his Mr World days is pretty insane, he worked harder than anybody else and was single-mindedly focused on it. Pushing yourself to such extremes and committing to it is difficult but those Ketuvians who can do so will benefit from it immensely.
Ketu is detached from the material realm. For a Ketu native that isn't tuned into their spiritual side, this can mean feeling disconnected in general but the blessings of retreating to spirituality, slowness, stillness etc means shifting to a version of life where you feel anchored within yourself without depending on anybody or anything to feel that way.
All of the people I mentioned above turned away from the spotlight or made choices to make their lives more grounded and stable and as a result they feel content and satiated. They are detached from the material realm but firmly tethered to the things that matter to them.
I just wanted to make a brief post about how Ketuvians embrace their shadows and how spirituality anchors them.
I hope this was insightful.
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risuola · 9 months
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Yoohoo!! Love your work, darling!
May I request a Megumi X reader for 22, 33, and 34?
Smut is optional honestly, free wheel!
Angst would be there I suppose.
Cheating? As you wish.
Violence and darkness? All up to you, darling.
I hope you have fun writing!
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ALL MAD AND POUTY — F. READER x FUSHIGURO MEGUMI
Megumi might not be the best in expressing his feelings, so it's no wonder why when he saw you getting up close and personal with his best friend Yuji, he got all mad and pouty.
cw: angst, characters are aged up to 18+, cheating implied, hurt and blood briefly mentioned, fluff at the end — 2,1k words
PROMPTS: 22. You’ve got what you deserved. 33. It’s not what it looks like. 34. So, you cheated with my best friend?
a/n: thank you for the request! it gave me a chance to write for Megumi, so for me it's a win :3
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"Why didn't you use your divine dogs?" you coughed, frustration evident in your voice as you pressed your hands onto the deep wound on your side, trying to stop the heavy bleeding. It was easily avoidable; you wouldn't have had to suffer the blow if your boyfriend had reacted as he usually did. But he looked at you from above, his eyes piercingly cold.
"I've decided they're unnecessary," he shrugged, unfazed by the crimson that was slowly soaking through your clothes. "Shoko will probably heal you, it doesn't look critical."
"Wow, that's great, thanks Megumi," muttering, you collected yourself from the ground and went straight to the car, so that Ijichi could drive you back to the high school and you could seek medical help. Fushiguro followed and in the back seat, you leaned against his shoulder, trying to find some comfort in the pain that pulsed through your nervous system, but he flinched the moment your head rested on his body.
"Can you sit up straight? I'm kinda tired."
"And I'm bleeding. What's the matter, Megu?"
"Well, you got what you deserved."
"What I deserv- what does that even mean, what I deserved?" you couldn't believe what you were hearing. One thing you were certain of – Megumi was angry and you had no idea why.
Two days had passed since Megumi had deliberately refused to help you on the battlefield. Your wounds were messy, but Shoko managed to treat them so well that you couldn't feel much more than subtle discomfort in your side, and to be honest, you were more consumed by thoughts of your partner's unusual behavior than anything else. Back in the car, he avoided any further conversation, turned his body to the window, sneering and paying you no mind for the entire ride, and you gave up trying to force the issue. When you arrived, he simply went his way, leaving you covered in blood, fortunately in the hands of Ijichi.
But his act had to have a reason, he wouldn't go all mad and pouty for nothing, and he certainly wouldn't endanger you for nothing. Well, you liked to think he wouldn't put you in danger even if you suddenly became his enemy, but things apparently changed.
"Megumi, may I?" you asked, knocking lightly on his door and pressing the handle, only to find that he locked the entrance. "Hey, Megu, we should talk."
"Do we have anything to talk about? I'm a little busy," his voice reached your ears from inside the room, a tone indifferent and cold, but you knew better than to believe it. There was a subtle undertone of hurt in both his voice and his demeanor, and the fact that you might have done something to hurt him sent you into a spiral of guilt and panic attacks. You spent two nights unable to sleep because of the raging thoughts in your head.
"Please talk to me, I need to know what happened. Hey, baby?" you tried, knocking again, this time softly, just to let him know that you're close and waiting. "Megumi, I won't leave before we talk. I'll stay here even if for the whole night."
Fushiguro groaned in annoyance. He really had no desire to look at you, listen to you or do anything with you. The fake, poisonous smiles you had been giving him for the last month made him sick of you, of Itadori, shit, he was even angry at Nobara, because who else would know everything if not her. Megumi felt stupid for not noticing it earlier, but when it hit him, it hit him hard.
That day, a month ago, he returned to school earlier than planned. His solo mission went smoother than expected and his mood was light and bright when he got out of Ijichi's car. He hoped to quickly reunite with his friends, who he always said annoyed him, but everyone knew it was his way of showing affection. He was also especially happy to reunite with you, his absolute best companion, a favorite person in the world, his love and his girlfriend. Quietly, as he always did, he approached Itadori's room, from where a mixture of soft laughter reached his ears. The doors were unlocked, slightly ajar, and he wanted to push them open, but then he heard your voice.
"We can't tell Fushiguro about this," you said cheerfully, your tone breathless and absolutely worn out, and he knew that sound. He heard it before, so he held his breath and peeked inside.
"He would feed me to his dogs if he knew," Itadori was just as exhausted, joyful as he held you in his arms, lying on the bed with you on top of him. Quickly, Megumi retreated and padded back to his own room, as if he hadn't seen anything, but the image stood clear and sharp in front of his eyes, every time he saw you after that. On the same day, you approached him with open arms, with so much something that he thought was love. He couldn't help but wonder what was it if not love?
His door swung open aggressively, almost making you trip, and when you looked up at him, you could see anger twisting his usually calm features. Your heart clenched at the sight of his furrowed brow, his narrow, dark eyes, and his tight jaw.
"Gumi, hey," you tried to reach for his hand, but he pulled back, letting you into his room but refusing to touch you. "Did I do something to hurt you?"
"I don't know, did you?" he snapped, kicking his doors shut with a loud thud.
"You tell me. Please, Megu, I don't understand what's gotten into you lately. Yuji told me that you avoid him as much as you avoid me, we're both confused, I-"
"Of course, Yuji cried to you about it. You seem close, huh?"
"We're friends?"
"Friends, sure," Megumi stood tall above you and you looked up at him with so much confusion, it angered him even more. Unable to control his emotions, he grabbed your wrist and pushed you against the nearest wall, slamming his other hand right next to your head. You winced, shocked to the core and genuinely frightened by the sudden burst of aggression. You knew, you hoped, that he wouldn't hurt you, but as you remembered your last mission together, you began to have doubts.
"Megu-"
"I saw you." he cut in. " A month ago, I saw you and Itadori in his room. Panting, you were lying on top of him, laughing that you could not tell me about it," Megumi scoffed, almost freezing you to death with his icy gaze and his equally cold tone. "Hah, Itadori was afraid that I would feed him to my dogs if I found out, and to be honest, I thought about it, but I don't want them to get sick."
"What? Christ, I would never..."
"You're always so bubbly and touchy with Itadori, and I get it, I'm not that warm and emotional, I guess, but if it's not me you want, then why bother, huh?" he growled, spitting words with rage as his fingers dug into the wall next to your head. “I couldn’t give you what you wanted, so you cheated with my best friend?”
“Megumi, it’s not what it looks like.”
"If it's not what it looks like, then what is it? How could you end up so out of breath, in my friend's bed, on top of him, huh?"
You were silent for a moment. All his words hurt you to the core, and you tried to replay the situation he's referring to. You remembered that day you were in Yuji's room, but were you that careless to draw a picture so suggestive?
"Why didn't you tell me earlier that you saw this? Why didn't you tell me anything?" you asked, exhaling deeply, angry at yourself for hurting the boy you loved so much. "I never wanted to hurt you, Megumi."
"I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt, you know? I tried to find a reasonable explanation for what I saw and I watched your interactions with Yuji. It all seems pretty self-explanatory."
"It's really not like that."
"Fuck, I hate this," he groaned, stepping back and distancing himself from you in a few large steps. It hurt, it hurt him so much. You were his first love and Yuji was his first friend and yet the two of you, together, behind his back. He couldn't understand it, he hated it. "Why the hell are you lying? I saw you. I heard you."
"Megumi," you tried, but he didn't listen. Every time you wanted to grab him, to ground him, he just snapped your hands away, looked at you with so much pain that it felt like the sadness in his voice burned scars on your skin, seeped into your heart. You wanted to cry, you wanted to hug him and tell him it's okay, it's not like that, but he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't let you speak, he snapped at you harder and harder. His hands flew, his eyes tore you apart. You saw the glisten of tears in them, he was so hurt and you knew that if he started to cry, you'd lose it.
Forcibly, you took him by his clothes, then wrapped your hands around his middle and spun him around. Losing his balance, he grabbed your shoulders trying to stop the momentum, but you pulled him through the dance. Finally, his knees hit the edge of his bed and he collapsed with your weight on top of him.
"This is pretty much how I ended up on top of Yuji in his bed," you explained, loosening your grip around him. "But with less force and more joy. We were happy, we laughed and hugged. Yuji is strong, he lifted me up, turned some circles and lost his balance." A sigh left your lungs as you rolled off of his body and fell onto the bed next to him. "We were planning for your birthday. We know you hate that day because Gojo always does something so extra and embarrassing... we wanted to take you on a trip, just you, me, Yuji and Kugisaki. We planned movies, mini golf, lots of your favorite foods and also some general chill, away from Jujutsu high and Gojo-sensei. But Yuji insisted on doing something cheesy, like bringing you the biggest cake with our wishes hand-written on it, and making it dark and fancy, but with bursting sprinkles inside, so that when you cut into it, you'd automatically be covered in colorful confetti. Yeah, he thought you'd feed him to your dogs if you found out. This was all supposed to be a surprise for you, we already made some arrangements. Fuck, we knew you'd probably hate the idea of a party anyway, so we were desperate to keep it secret, and we planned most of it while you were away on missions."
"What are you talking about...? My birthday is-"
"In a month. It's already November, your birthday is in few weeks."
Megumi fell silent. The year flew by, he didn't even notice a change in the weather, he just lived through it somehow, and now it was almost December. Everything you said echoed in his head, somehow slowly making more and more sense. He was so focused on finding proof of your affair with Yuji that he had ignored every remark Nobara made about the upcoming party. And lately, you were making more calls, always stepping aside so he wouldn't hear you. A few times he saw you sneaking out with Yuji, who was smiling like an idiot. Megumi didn't even think of any other reason for all that.
"So that's it?"
"Yes, idiot. I love Yuji, he's like my brother. You are my boyfriend, you are my absolute favorite grumpy and pouty person in the whole universe. I wish you would have come to me sooner.”
"I hate surprises..." Fushiguro grumbled and covered his face with his hands, feeling stupid but also relieved. It was as if the heaviest weight had been lifted from his shoulders, his chest felt lighter than it had in weeks, and he began to laugh. "Damn, how I hate surprises."
"Well, that's good, because this one is definitely ruined," you muttered, getting up from the bed. "But now you're going to pretend like you don't know anything and you're going to take this confetti right in your face and thank for it, because I'm not going to ruin Yuji and Nobara's efforts with the fact that I had to tell you."
"Okay," he sat up as well and wrapped his arms around your waist, preventing you from walking away as he pressed his face to your stomach. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright, baby," you brushed through his hair with your fingers.
"And I'm sorry I let you get hurt."
"Well, I still love you, so I guess that's okay too."
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My little girl || Jake Sully
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Jake Sully x Daughter! Reader
Summary: Where Jake realizes that you're not his little girl anymore and you're an adult now.
Note: Sorry for spelling and grammatical errors, English is not my first language. <3
The truth is that I didn't like it very much, I like the idea but not how I planted it here.
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Your delicate steps did not go unnoticed by your mother neytiri who immediately stood up from her seat to greet you with her arms crossed while your brothers and father looked in your direction.
"Where have you been?" was the first thing she asked when she saw you "Where and with whom?" asked Jake from his seat.
Well, you had two choices; one was to lie and say you were alone taking a walk on the nice reef, the other was to tell the truth and say you were with a handsome Metkayina taking a walk.
Clearly you were going to lie.
"I was taking a walk, mommy" You replied giving her an innocent wink. You got a scoff from Neteyam who already knew the truth, and as he was on the ground with your foot you hit him on his knee getting a grunt from him.
"Well, I hope you won't lie to me" your mother warned "We don't know the clan well, you can't always walk alone, it can be dangerous" Your heart skipped a beat because you were lying to him, but you didn't want them to meddle, you were already 18.
"Yes, mommy" You said hugging her. "Yes, sure. A walk alone" Lo'ak said as you sat down next to her "Stop bothering your sister" Jake warned her "If she says she was walking alone, it's because she was walking alone".
Your eyes shifted to your father who was staring at you waiting for a comment on the matter, but you felt bad about lying so you just nodded at him leaving him in doubt.
(...)
The outings with Eykxä had been frequent. Your curious brothers already knew about your encounters and always tried to cover for you by saying that you were in other activities with the clan.
That very day your idea was to go out with Eykxä in the middle of the night, but you didn't count that your father was already suspicious of your outings. He was more worried about you than anything else, you were his little girl, well not so little but always his little girl. He had a certain weakness for you being his firstborn, so when he saw your escapades he wanted to know why.
I wish he hadn't.
While everyone was asleep you went out as quietly as you could to a hidden spot on the reef where Eykxä was sitting in front of the colorful fish.
"Hey, I thought you would be later" He said as he patted the side next to him for you to sit down. "I was able to leave earlier today" You replied as you sat down "Everyone was really tired so I was able to leave earlier."
"I'm glad, more time to enjoy your company" He told you, then brushed a lock of hair behind your ear, an action that made your cheeks warm and you smiled shyly at him "Yes, much more time"
Hours you spent together with his company, not realizing that Jake in just minutes found you and realized something.
You grew up, and you were an adult.
(…)
Well, you didn't know why your father was ignoring you but you couldn't let it go. He had been distant the previous days and even your neytiri mother didn't know the reason.
"But mom, he really hasn't said anything to you?" You asked her as she took care of braiding your hair "No, my love. He hasn't told me anything but if you want I can ask him again."
"No, I'll do it" you told her, looking up at Kiri who was standing next to you playing with your fingers "daddy is outside, he said he needed a break" Kiri told you without taking her eyes off your fingers, "See if you can catch up"
That's what you did after your mother finished braiding your hair and you thanked her, you headed straight to your father who was sitting with Tuk on his lap while tickling him.
You smiled because your father often played with you when you were little (clearly I'm going to write about that).
"Hi daddy, hi Tuk. baby, can you go to mommy?" You said stroking her hair "Hi, but I'm playing" She says while pouting "Please" You beg her, and like the good and tender one she is she kissed goodbye and ran off to neytiri.
"Hi, dad" You repeat since he hadn't greeted back "Hi" Dry, not even a hello with your name. "I think we need to have a talk" You told him dentándote at his side "I don't know what's wrong with you, you've been distant these days. I don't remember doing anything to deserve this, dad."
Your words made your father reason, but the feeling that you were already an adult, that you would start isolating yourself from the family broke his heart. He didn't mean to be that way, but he was also hurt that you didn't trust him to tell him your love situation.
"I saw you, the other day I followed you because I found your attitude suspicious. You started smiling more, you were often distracted or your escapades at night. I'm your father, you clearly didn't go out alone, I know you" He said intertwining his fingers with yours "You're my baby, you always have been and always will be. It's hard for me to accept that you're a woman now. That you're not my little girl anymore."
"I always will be, Daddy. Sorry if I didn't tell you, I didn't know how you or mom might react" You excused yourself "I'm in love, it's so easy everything with him/her. I feel good" You told him shyly.
"I think I should have waited for you to tell me before I acted like this, I'm sorry my girl" He told you "I know it's time for you to meet people outside of us, but you are my girl and it's hard for me."
He slipped one of his arms around your shoulders to pull you to his body and kiss your head "I won't intrude anymore baby, I'm sorry for my behavior, it wasn't apt. I love you, my no longer little girl" He said smiling at you with his most paternal smile.
"I love you too, daddy."
"Your brothers did know about this, am I right?" He asked after a few minutes. "Yes, they did."
"Little traitors."
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Kink Discovery- Pt. 1
Chris Sturniolo x reader
Summary: Chris wants to try to spice things up in the bedroom with you by trying out new things. He comes to you (pun intended) with a blindfold and a dream.
TW: anxiety/panic, blindfolds, SMUT
"Hey Chris." I roll onto the bed next to him. He opens his arm, giving me access to cuddle up against him.
"Hey, baby? Would you want to spice up the bedroom?" He asks.
"What? I like the decor in here though." I point to the silly things around his room.
"No- I mean like-" His face is red. "I mean, would you want to try new things...like sexually?" He whispers the last part.
@sturniozo
"Oh." I realize what he means.
"We don't have to. We can just pretend I didn't say anything." He backtracks.
"No, no. It's just- you don't want to try new things cause I'm boring...do you?" His eyes go wide and he shakes his head.
"No! Not at all! I heard Matt's girlfriend talking to her friend is all." His voice is low. "She was saying how when she and Matt...switch things up...it feels really good, from her perspective. I just want to make you feel good." He stares at the ceiling. I turn onto my side, looking at his face.
"What'd you have in mind?" Red creeps down his neck.
"Um, I was thinking we could kind of just come up with things and bring them up to each other."
"I figured as much. But, what do you have in mind right now. I know you have something specific you want to do. What is it?" He bites his lip. He reaches into his bedside table drawer and pulls out a soft length of material, handing it to me. "A...?"
"Blindfold. It's a blindfold." Oh. "We don't have to. I just thought it would be interesting-"
"Well, Chris, I'm going to be honest here. I don't know if I'm cool with it. Not being able to see? It's scary." I wring my hand around the opposite wrist. He's quiet for a while. For a long time, we just lay there in silence.
"What." He starts. "What if I try it first? To make you more comfortable? You can blindfold me, and you can see if you'd be okay with it based off of that?" He offers. He's so thoughtful. I can see an olive branch when it's being offered to me.
"Yeah. We can try." I meet him halfway. He lights up, and leans in, kissing me. Quickly, the kiss turns messy and hungry. Lips softly touching turns into tongues dancing together.
"Aw, fuck." He pulls away from the kiss, leaning his head against mine. I look him up and down, stopping when I spot the darkness on the crotch of his shorts.
"Are you that excited about this?" I tease him lightly.
"Can we try it now?" He pleads with me. His lips are puffy from the kissing we were doing, and I can't help but agree.
"C'mere." I hold up the blindfold to his face. He comes closer, allowing me to tie the fabric, covering his eyes; taking away his sight. It's a simple black fabric, yet it looks amazing on him. I can't think of anything to say, so I begin stripping. My shirt comes off, then I shimmy out of my pants.
"Baby? You still there?" Chris pats his hand out into the air, trying to find me.
"Yeah. I'm here." I say, breathy. He whines, still trying to grab for me. "Stay still." He stops moving. I move, taking his shorts off and pushing his shirt up.
"Fuck, ma- please. Everything feels so, so much more." He emphasizes the word more, and wiggles his hips.
"Tell me about it baby." I plead. As he begins to speak, I place my hand on the bulge in his boxers. He gasps.
"Fuck ma!" He whines out. "Please. It's so much but not enough. Need your skin on mine. Please." I give in. I slip my hand into his boxers, letting my hand trace him.
"Feel good?"
"Fuck, yes, ma. So good. Please don't stop." I take him fully into my hand and begin stroking him. He hisses a breath through his teeth. This goes on for a few minutes. "Shit ma, I already feel close. 'S good." His face contorts, and a certain pang hits my chest. I wish I could see his eyes.
"How close?" I speed up.
"Shit, ma. Just like that- so close ma. Embarrassing how close." He grips the sheets under him. His voice is strained and rough.
"Yeah?" I dip my head down, placing kitten licks to his tip. "You're close? So fucking close." I rub my thumb over his head.
"Shit- love when you curse ma. 'S so hot. Aw fuck- just like that." I grin, and dip my head back down, taking his head into my mouth. I suckle on it. "Fuck ma- shit- I- I'm about to-" He stumbles over his words before stumbling over that edge. He finishes in my mouth. I let it drip out of my mouth and back onto him as I continue to move y mouth over him. "Shit me. Stop, stop, stop. 'M sensitive."
I pull away from him. I reach up, moving the blindfold off of his eyes. They're glossy and so blue it fucking hurts. "You're so pretty." I tell him, brushing his face with my hand. He groans softly.
"Come cuddle." He demands.
"Yes, yes, princess." I tease. He pouts and huffs at me. "Yeah, yeah. I'm coming to cuddle. Calm your tits." He rolls his eyes, but accepts my cuddles anyway.
"Was really good." He says softly.
"I think I'd be okay with trying it now. Not right now. I wanna cuddle now." I nuzzle against him. He lets out soft murmurs of agreement.
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