#desire to try

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕 #origibberish #bigger gibbers

[brw]

My least favourite type of internet person is the person who claims fanfic is over thousands of years old or whatever. I understand we like to joke but fanfiction is fundamentally tied to fandom culture and is a very specific way of engaging with media. Religious texts based off other religious texts is not fanfiction and it is worrying the only way you can justify your interest is by comparing the two. I promise you you don't have to reinvent the wheel to write fanfic you can just do that but we don't have to say "Shakespeare wrote fanfiction about Richard III", there was not a Richard III fandom in 1592, that was called the divine right of kings.

#brieuc.txt #I just dislike those kinds of comments #it feels like trying to justify and validate something that doesn't need it #the desire to prop fanfic up as just as much a serious text is strange? fanfic is more interesting in it's relationship to modern media #modern filmmaking modern storytelling #rather than bending over backwards to call dante's inferno fanfiction

[thedreadvampy]

people seriously pretending EEAAO is overrated suddenly bc it swept awards? it swept awards largely because it is very very very good. I cried like someone who's just had a religious revelation BOTH times I watched it bc it touched something raw and real and beautiful but it was also just very, very funny. everyone's performance kills and the concept is creative and interesting and doesn't distract from the emotional core. you guys are just contrarian.

#red said #also there are posts and tweets like THIS IS JUST FOR MCU FANS #like please go on demonstrating how you've adopted 'mcu fan' as a shorthand for 'person who likes films i don't' #or 'person who likes films that are popular' #because the defining features of mcu films are that they're high budget irony poisoned derivative works #targeted at a broad audience so aiming to be accessible and inoffensive #and it really seems. like 'accessible' is the part of that you object to #bc EEAAO is a highly original A24 indie film with a 14.5m budget which is NOTHING #it's made mostly with practical effects and sets #and most importantly it's beautifully painfully earnest. it's never trying to shy away or go Hey Look How Silly This Is 😏 #everything is driven by its earnest desire to talk about specific themes #i think the people comparing it negatively to mcu films are stuck on the fact that it's about a multiverse and it's got jokes #and colourful action scenes #but they miss that the referential jokes (like racacoonie) and setpieces aren't the point of the film

[emkini]

Toph + Zuko friendship is something that can be so personal

[ID: a digital line drawing of toph leaning on zuko’s head as he sits on the ground, cross-legged. “toph,” sokka says, offscreen, “you can’t just use zuko as an armrest.”

“what?” toph asks, irritated. “do you see him complaining? get off my dick!”

to which katara exclaims, also offscreen, “toph!”

zuko doesn’t seem bothered. an arrow points to him with the text, “just happy to be included”. /end ID]

ID by @maileesque 

#atla #avatar the last airbender #toph #zuko #sketch #atla fanart #toph swears like a sailor and you canNOT convince me otherwise #zuko CAN swear like a sailor if so desired #considering he was in fact a sailor #however I feel like he's the type to be Scary In A Bad Way when he swears and he's trying to Not Do That #em draws

[yujateaandpi]

Senshi and Parenthood

I’m obsessed with Senshi’s narrative role— or lack thereof actually. He’s not there to devote himself to a cause or further the plot, I actually don’t think he knows why he’s there for 90% of the story. He just. Saw a bunch of bumbling young looking people and went “well somebody’s got to feed them.”

And meanwhile there’s. Eldritch chaos and a complex narrative centered around life death and rebirth being intrinsically tied into the concept of hunger and appetite— and Senshi is standing there with his wok like, “okay sure you’re under the thrall of your own desires puppeted by an interdimensional being how bout I make you a pie and you calm down.” And it WORKS.

It works every time because surprise surprise people do need to be fed in order to work to their goals. It reminds me of how much we take our guardians for granted. How much it means to be a parent or caretaker making meal after meal for others. What it means to nurture people so they can get up each day and fulfill their dreams.

We so often take these loved ones in our lives for granted. They’re not there to save the day. They’re there to save us. They’ll think about our needs and inclinations when no one else will.

If you’re blessed enough to have a Senshi in your life, appreciate them!! They may not be slaying the demons, but they’re the ones who got you there.

Love him. He’s Mother.

#choked when marcille’s desire was for her parents to try his cooking #she complained the whole time but she legitimately loved his cooking so much #he made it all with love that’s why #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi #delicous in dungeon #senshi dungeon meshi

[vampireposter]

meeting wyll at the grove, as someone who the tieflings trust enough to train their children, says so much about him. it's so sad that he doesn't get explored in acts 2-3 as deeply as the other companions, when his problems are equally intense. the average player probably long rests once before coming across the grove, but even if not, in that time wyll has already proven to the tieflings that they can rely on the Blade of Frontiers.

this is the immediate first thing he chooses to do after being condemned to slow death via ceremorphosis. his priority list in the first conversations with tav is: 1) hunt down a dangerous devil, 2) help zevlor with the goblins, 3) once nothing threatens the tieflings he will gladly search for a tadpole cure. wyll is perpetually his own last priority, and i wonder if it has to do with the lore about souls.

if he believes mind flayers' souls have been destroyed, and fiend warlocks will all have their souls sent to the hells after death, then becoming a mind flayer isn't the worst possible way for him to die. he would never become a mindless monster to save his own soul, but he's not gripped by horror the way that some of the other origin characters are. lae'zel has been made revoltingly impure to her people, astarion is terrified of losing the scrap of bodily autonomy he just regained, gale is guilt-ridden over the orb detonation if he dies, shadowheart has to survive to prove herself to her cult leader, and karlach has also just regained bodily autonomy and is desparate to live.

this is just another quest for the Blade, whose persona guards wyll ravengard against the vice of self-concern when he ought to be concerned for those in need.

#wyll ravengard #bg3 #writing a wyll pov thing in order to roleplay harder in my durge playthrough & ive become obsessed w him #i love him so much. he doesnt even really get to realize in-game how traumatized he is and in act 3 he has not healed any really #come here wyll we are going to learn about self care. you & durge need to overcome the desire to give up your lives for your fathers ideals #faerun doesnt have LMHCs so wyll gets my durge who currently thinks he is (a miserable failure of) a cleric of ilmater. #this fic is practice for my 'ascended tavastarion struggle to quit being Like That' character study thing wherein i am struggling w dialogu #loving working on both. im in my little dollhouse making my toys try out lines until they fit #vampireposted

[kenneduck]

What if... Sidon was evil in TOTK instead of Yunobo?

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#sidlink #sidon #tearsofthekingdom #zelda #link #prince sidon #king sidon #botw #zelda fanart #link would fold #imagine link trying to get that mask off of sidon #but them kissing as link reaches up getting close #and him just melting into the desires #and- #I need to sleep #I'm sorry

[lorephobic]

“the class commentary in saltburn was shit” WHAT CLASS COMMENTARY???? NOT EVERY MOVIE WITH RICH PEOPLE HAS TO OR SHOULD HAVE CLASS COMMENTARY. EMERALD FENNELL KNOWS VERY WELL THAT SHE IS NOT THE RIGHT DIRECTOR FOR A MOVIE ABOUT CLASS COMMENTARY WHICH IS WHY SHE DID NOT WRITE A MOVIE ABOUT CLASS COMMENTARY.

#saltburn posting #saltburn #begging everyone who is complaining about the ‘message’ of saltburn to watch ANY interview with emerald #when you see her attention to detail and hear the way she talks about these characters #you will understand that this is a movie about obsession #and the cattons being rich heightens this for sure and pushes oliver into an uncomfortable position #in the exact same way that it pushes farleigh into an uncomfortable position #they will grant you help as long as you don’t ask for it #desires are messy and ugly so it’s better to just not have them #these ideas are absolutely a result of the catton’s wealth and status #but as far as the plot goes #their wealth is just a narrative tool to push these ideas about beauty and obsession #watch the cufflinks scene again and really think about it #think about venetia and what she wanted and farleigh and what he wanted #and all of the desires that are left unspoken at saltburn #and the desire to BE DESIRED #think about all of this and try to tell me that this is a movie about material gain

[heliianth]

i think im getting better at drawing fire...

#sth #sonic the hedgehog #super sonic #<- oo scary maintags #heliiart #ft. me trying a thinner lineart style #uploading this it looks blurry tumblr i HATE u #am i gonna have to draw everything i wanna post in the specific dimensions u desire. what is it abt u that makes u unable to do this #????

[astroturf-enthusiast]

Mild blood and an alt version below the cut

Rewatching Ninjago rn and thinking about how much I love the wildbrain season's fight choreography

#ninjago fanart #cole ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago #cole ninjago fanart #cole brookstone #kai ninjago #kai fanart #jay walker fanart #ninjago jay #ninjago lavashipping #if you so desire #not reallly #this fight deserved a bit more flare I think #disclaimer I heavily used a reference for the fight #just incase you recognize the framing I'm not trying to deceive #zane fanart #zane ninjago #lego ninjago fanart #astroturf-art #thats the tag for all my art btw #if you wanna look through more :)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Wardrobe Woes

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Yes: there are people who read these comics who don't know much about mdzs. Several are my beloved and supportive friends B'*) #This comic in particular is one that I've been thinking about for a very long time and I'm so happy to finally be here! #I was trying to think about how to explain the social rules of the forehead ribbon and the reason lwj was so upset #and the metaphor of 'it's kind of like wwx accidently undoing lwj's bikini in front of a crowd.' came to mind. #of course there's a bit more to it than that but the point here is that - accident or not - it still embarrasses lwj #wwx doesn't get the entire context behind it (at the time. Now he *does* and it all makes a bit more sense) #But he knows he made lwj upset. He knows he doesn't want to put lwj in another embarrassing situation. #Not after all this. Not after everything. Not after realizing that his desire for friendship might be the kind of desire that ruins lan zha #Love the symbolism of the archery outfits being red during this moment of 'whoops only married couples can do that' moment. #What if we accidental proposed............accidental marriage....accidental kiss the bridegroom....accidental fall in love. #Guess we did inadvertently get the puffy sleeves and bikini outfits in the end. #wwx in an old timey bathing suit is so important to me. I'll die on this hill. #lwj's cute little box is inspired by @lazycranberrydoodles's cute fan art <3 I love it a lot

[tsuchinokoroyale]

Happy new years… let’s stay hydrated together ✨

#I didn’t end up going to the rave just stayed in with my buddies and had KFC (( Korean fried chicken )) and laughed til we cried so #it was still a wonderful start to the new year 💞🥰💞 #but the fwb wanted pics of my potential rave look so I figured eh I brought the stuff anyways #and now I’m imagining locking eyes with a stranger on the warm and writhing dance floor #the beat thumps and shakes and rattles the air in our breath as the spotlights dance in the reflections of our held gaze #he pushes his way through the crowd with a singular stare and a wicked smile on his face #I smile and turn my back on him arching myself so he knows I am giving what he’s looking for #I take careful steps through the revelry toward the edge where the crowd thins out #I prop myself up on an available stool in a lonely corner of the club as he closes the distance between us #“now I wonder why you dragged me all the way here” he utters in a playful growl “trying to get far away from the crowd?” #I smile and I nod. “obviously. can’t really do what I want with you out there” #his eyes perk up and his smile gives away the desire building inside him. “yeah? why don’t you show me then.” #“I thought you’d never ask” I smirk. I reach down into my pants and pull out my phone #“so this one is blue. he’s the oldest but he’s sooooo sweet. and that’s Eva. my only girl she’s sassy but she loves swea-” he leaves #whaddahell I say demurely whimpering even… whaddahell… #gpoy

[willyhoos]

the mikes.. the michaels, even...

#fnaf #fnaf movie #mike schmidt #michael afton #michael schmidt #does any1 call him that.. besides william lol #i like the hc that game!mike is freaky tall like his dear old dad #so movie mike being a certified shorty is soooo <3 appreciated. #i really appreciate that movie mike is #like. sane. #hes disturbed definitely but he is still Trying to live functionally hes just. struggling to succeed in that regard #game mike? not a chance. hes an identity-hopping arsonist #i guess thats the difference elizabeth (abby) makes. #if game mike had somehow managed to save elizabeth #maybe he would have turned out ok #movie mike shows us what would have happened if michael DID actually have something to live for #game mike has nothing at all no one . no desires no family no friends nothing. just a death wish and a lot of regret. #btw movie mike is michael afton .. in the sense that he is the movie-adapted versoin of michael afton. #they have different stories obviously but they are INTENDED to be the same person #gnerally that is #i mean. lil sis. responsible for lil bros death. the weird offputting rude pushy personality. #so ill take it as proof that in the games mike=michael #OK I GOT OFF TRACK UM SORRY #now ill never get over how game mike and vanessa never met. #i mean theres the glammike theory but. that is an extremely altered version of mike who arguably isnt awake hes possessing a robot. hes Dea #but according to the movie... they woulda gotten along. #brings a tear to me old eye #my nyart #i miss queue #ah yes.. 4:34 am again garfie baby

[ryllen]

maybe i do want us to kiss a little more

#can you really accept who i am ... ? the fact i am a human and will forever a human; just like how u are never satisfied with yourself #u might never satisfied with me either #twisted wonderland #twst #sebek zigvolt #twst yuu #lilia vanrouge #twst mc #fanart #i . just . wanted to draw . a kiss . #but i did think a lot if he have a desire to be with a strong fae partner so he can erase the human blood from his lineage little by little #or he'd feel guilty about dirtying his fae partner's blood for passing human blood in him to another fae child & make them possibly weak #i think he would somewhat feel guilty too to make a human half fae child because where their place would be then #maybe his true desire is just to end his blood with him as malleus guard and that's all there's to it #i wish all his doubt would be erased once he saw how beautiful his child with his eyes is #just a child who will try their best no matter what blood they have in them

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’ve never had a particularly strong desire to get high. Altered mind states have always been somewhat unappealing to me. The only drug I’ve ever enjoyed taking was a prescription strength muscle relaxant that loosened all my knots at once and sent me into the boneless slumber of jello. Top marks.

But I have dabbled with pot. As I’m wildly sensitive to smoke my only recourse was to try edibles and anyone could’ve predicted this was a recipe for disaster. So here’s the story of the first time I got high.

Connor was a major stoner. He was a high energy guy who loved hiking, had his shit together, and absolutely loved getting high and relaxing. One day he decided to make pot brownies. Connor was an amazing cook in his own right but he came into my life at a time when I was eating mayonnaise sandwiches and started giving me real food so I viewed him as a paragon of cookery. He made amazing desserts. And he didn’t make a batch of no pot brownies.

I’d never had one of Connor’s brownies, before, but dear god I wanted one when they came out of the oven in a waft of rich chocolatey smells. They were fudgey and perfect and all that I wanted in the world was to eat one. I watched him take a bite, burning with envy and desire.

Being high seemed like a small price to pay if only I could sink my teeth into the warm splendor of brownie. I came up to where he was sitting on the couch, slightly behind his left shoulder. “Hey. I want to try a bite,” I told him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” I was sure as fuck that I wanted that brownie in my mouth.

Connor was sat facing the tv and held up his hand without looking so I could take a bite. I am not a creature of modest bites. And I wanted that brownie. I took a huge bite, carving into the interior of the brownie, leaving Connor with a only a rim.

He pulled his hand back and saw the brownie crime I had committed and gave a resigned chuckle. “Well this is going to be fun.”

On one other occasion in my life I’ve tried an edible and there was a brief relaxed period before things went horribly wrong that made me think, this is probably where most people stop and enjoy themselves.

But on this occasion, the massive bite of brownie didn’t drift me slowly up through layers of being high. It skyrocketed me into high space with great prejudice. I have no memory of a middle point, I wasn’t high and then I was suddenly so high I couldn’t function.

I’ve heard people talk about paranoia. I didn’t have that. Some people mention nervousness, no, none of that for me. My mind was simply gone. A thought would blip to life on one side of my brain and fail to travel through the fog to find its conclusion. I couldn’t think. I wasn’t really experiencing sensation. I was nothing in the void.

When Connor realized I’d been staring wall eyed at nothing for too long he said, “How are you doing?”

It took a long time to process the words and even longer to slur out, “I can see everything.”

I don’t remember him getting up and leaving, or waiting, or anything really. Thoughts flickered and died in my mindscape, meaningless and alone.

Then Connor put headphones on me.

I was unable to conceive of anything as wonderful as music surrounding me, and thus began the only nice part of the trip. I might have experienced ego death but at least I had the ethereal sounds of Pure Reason Revolution to wrap myself in.

I’m not sure how long the nice phase lasted. But eventually something started going wrong in my mouth. My throat became uncomfortable enough to pierce the haze I was in. It was almost numb, and impossibly dry. I drank water to no avail. Finally I conceived of the solution. “Ice cream!” I demanded of Connor.

He went to grab some and I was dismayed that when I took a bite the sensation in my throat intensified. “It made it worse,” I complained.

“Made what worse?” Connor asked, because of course I hadn’t actually told him why I’d wanted ice cream.

When I told him what was happening he said, “Oh, of course ice cream is going to make cotton mouth worse.”

“Well then why did you give it to me!” I complained. He smiled fondly at my irrational grumping and got me more water.

Finally I’d had enough. Music couldn’t erase my discomfort, I was getting frustrated I couldn’t think but I was still high as balls and I wanted the night to be over. Connor suggested I go to bed so I climbed up into my bed and lay there, uncomfortably high.

I couldn’t sleep. My throat was so cottony, a side effect I hadn’t known existed and I thoroughly loathed.

Then I thought: I could masturbate! Connor had talked about enjoying that while high. I’d give it a shot. My body however was wiser than my head and was having none of this plan. It refused to respond, stubbornly insisting that now was not the time.

I doubled down, refusing to give up on this horrible idea and in a bitter struggle, and against my body’s own wishes, I produced an orgasm that rated a 0 on the pleasure scale. Something happened but it was like a resentful flex of muscles that stopped immediately.

Furious with the overall experience of being high I buried my head in pillows and finally slept. I told Connor the next day about my attempt and he facepalmed so hard. “Why didn’t you just go to sleep! You were way too high to enjoy that.”

I grumbled and agreed that it was very stupid. I tried to weigh the single bite of brownie I had with the absolutely wretched hours of discomfort and while it didn’t quite balance it was still pretty close. It was a really good brownie.

#ramblies #funny #writing #ffs foibles #marijuana #it’s silly now that it’s legal in my state there’s so many ways I could try it now #but I have less than no desire to make another foray #funny story

[kicktwine]

occasionally ffxiv will make me emotional to the point of tearing up not because anything sad happened, but because it has such a strong beating heart of a thesis about hope

#wadda heck. #kipspeak #play game #ffxiv will sometimes out of nowhere grip your shoulders and go please. You have to try. only by trying and keeping the hope alive #will the future we desire ever come to pass. and it will. Maybe not in this day or your children’s day #but if we ever hold on. It will #you just have to act. you have to try #and I go (strangled high pitched) ok-