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sodamnbored · 15 days

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Jason, jumping back aboard: So turns out the Legion wasn’t so thrilled about me teaming up with a bunch of Greeks and their warship.

Leo, going for the controls: Guess we’d better vamoose then.

Jason, anxiously: Can you hurry it up? The Legion are coming with everything they’ve got. Even the War Elephant.

Leo: You’re gonna have to hold them off while I get us mobile.

Jason, when the projectiles start flying: How am I meant to do that?!

Leo, harried: Bribe them. Blackmail them. Seduce them! - Have I taught you nothing??

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sodamnbored · 1 month

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Tense moment of suspense on a quest:

Leo, listening to the whispering sounds: What’s that sound…?

Jason, dramatically: It’s the winds. They’re speaking to us.

Leo, enthralled: What’re they saying?

Jason, still dramatically: I don’t know. I don’t speak wind.

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sodamnbored · 1 month

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When things go wrong on a quest:

Frank, anxious: Oh we are so fucked. Do you hear sirens? I hear sirens.

Leo: Yeah. Mortals, man. They’ve always got the cops on speed dial.

Frank: You’ve been to prison right?

Leo: Well, the wilderness school wasn’t exactly prison, but sure. I know the general idea.

Frank: So how do you think a guy like me would do in prison?

Leo, appraisingly: Baby face. Kind eyes. Soft skin. Cute tummy.

Leo, solemnly: You’d be very popular.

Frank, relaxing: Oh. That’s good.

Leo: No, that’s very bad.

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sodamnbored · 6 months

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Percy: Ow. Got a splinter.

Mr D: Yeah, yeah. Tell it to child services.

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sodamnbored · 1 year

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Frank, being field promoted: Are you crazy? I can’t lead!

Jason: Yes - you can. You’re just like me, so I know you’ve got what it takes.

Frank: I do?

Jason, kindly: Your friends look to you as a leader because you’re a little bit taller than them. You just have to own it.

Frank nodding, determined: With above average height comes above average responsibility.

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sodamnbored · 1 year

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Triptolemus: *turns Nico into a corn plant*

Frank, annoyed: Why did you do that? I had something I needed to tell him.

Triptolemus, shrugging: Go ahead. He’s all ears.

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sodamnbored · 1 year

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When The Argo II is under attack:

Everyone: *panicking*

Percy, calmly: Alright now, everybody but Jason keep your pants on. I got this.

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sodamnbored · 1 year

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In Greece with the Giants:

Annabeth, afraid: They’re going to kill us.

Percy, correcting: They’re going to sacrifice us. Which is - “classier”, I guess.

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sodamnbored · 2 years

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Percy, tiredly: Okay, I’ve got the younger campers to calm down and drop their weapons.

Mr D: I’ve never been more proud of you for anything in your life.

Percy, a little offended: I mean…I’ve completed a lot of quests for you.

Mr D, unimpressed: And yet, the threats have continued.

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sodamnbored · 2 years

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Percy, in a fight: Whoops!

Jason: How did you possibly think that was gonna work? Try to use some judgement huh?

Percy: Hey. I did use judgement. Poor judgement.

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sodamnbored · 2 years

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Reyna, after Rachel and Grover came to parlay: Okay. I’m going to track Jason down. And you’re going to make peace with the Greeks.

Octavian, as soon as she leaves, prepping the onagers: I think the fuck not.

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sodamnbored · 2 years

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Literally every god: Come on. Just go on this little quest for me. You probably won’t even die!

Literally every demigod: No thank you. I literally just fought a war for you.

Literally every god: But you owe me.

Literally every demigod: For what?

Literally every god: For being alive.

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sodamnbored · 2 years

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Someone to Jason, post Burning Maze: Can you describe the emperor that stabbed you?

Jason: Yes I can. He was not very nice.

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sodamnbored · 2 years

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Percy: I really do not think it’s a good idea to stay at the Lotus Hotel.

Jason, tiredly: I know, I know. But we need a place to stay for the night, and this is really the only place we can afford.

Percy, absently: Oh no, there’s no charge. It’s all free in there.

Jason: And that’s the only reason we can afford it.

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sodamnbored · 2 years

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Battle of Manhattan:

Luke/Kronos, dramatically: I knew this day would come.

Percy, rolling his eyes: Yeah Luke, we all have calendars. I saw Tuesday coming too.

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sodamnbored · 2 years

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Jason: I’m sorry. So, you don’t actually have a plan?

Percy: No I do not.

Jason: Then why did you say you did?!

Percy: No one was paying any attention to me.

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