Lucifer: She does the detecting, I do the insulting.
Chloe: Consulting.
Lucifer: That too.
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reid: you know, morgan, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.
morgan: ...
morgan: are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.
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Linda: Why is when something happens it's always you three?
Chloe, Lucifer, and Maze: ...
Chloe: Believe me, Linda. I've been asking myself the same question for six years.
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Time for some incorrect quotes ~
Chloe: *walks in to the penthouse* Hey , just doble checking you cleared your calendar for dinner tomorrow night, am dying to go to that new place like i ca-...
Lucifer: *blinks twice confused like a lost puppy*
Chloe: oh, sorry ... Ehem...Dinner , tomorrow , ME! *says doing childlike movements with her hands*
Lucifer: YEEEAAHHH!!! *claps happily*
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Lucifer : Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.
Chloe: ... Luce are you oka-
Lucifer: not in the slightest my darling
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Why is this scene so easy to picture in my head? Lol.
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Chloe: We all have our demons
Chloe grabbing Lucifer: This one’s mine
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Lucifer: I would die for you
Chloe: aww that’s so sweet
Lucifer: no literally. You make me killable
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Chloe: Hey, Lucifer, can you do me a favor?
Lucifer: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it if you asked me to.
Chloe: Great, so can you do the dishes?
Lucifer: No
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Lucifer: Alright, so you and I are married.
Chloe: We are not married.
Lucifer: It’s pretend.
Chloe: I don’t want to pretend.
Lucifer: Scared you’ll like it?
Chloe: Okay, if we’re married, I want a divorce.
Suspect: Are you two like this all the time?
Both: Yes.
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At the precinct:
Chloe: Recently, I lost my good partner Lucifer.
Lucifer (from Hell): Quit telling people I'm dead!
Chloe: Sometimes, I can still hear his voice
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Lucifer: I am not needy.
Chloe: You called me at 3 am to make sure I still loved you.
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Chloé: I hate you!
Lucifer: I hate me more!
Chloé:
Chloé: Lucifer... we’ve talked about this
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Chloe: oh would you look at that... I’ve been impaled
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Chloe: Someone scratched Pierce’s car with a key
Lucifer: Actually it was a knife - I mean who would do such a thing!
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