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kzuhasgf · 10 months

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late night worries

pairing — huh yunjin x 6th member!reader

it's late, and yunjin finds her way onto your bed. you soothe her worries.

tags — gn!reader (ethnicity friendly), idol!au, genre — fluff, hurt/comfort, romance word count — 1,574

notes — I couldn't sleep tonight, so I made this instead. reader is the same age as yunjin

busy schedules, busy dates. it's common for idols to have their days, weeks, and months booked and planned out, so it wasn't practice for you to maximize and make the most out of your free time.

you and the girls have been extremely busy, which has become even more exhausting in recent weeks as you prepare for your "Flame Rises" tour, which will take you and the girls to different parts of asia.

nothing could keep you and your bandmates from giving it your all and making your first tour as successful as possible. you didn't want to, but you have overworked yourself here and there, but not to the point where it seriously affected you.

hours of long practice later, you and the girls walked back into your dorm, eunchae's eyes drooping from how drained she was. sakura used the little energy she had left to reheat some homemade food she had made days prior, hoping everyone could still eat a meal before heading to bed.

after having a quiet dinner, you all sleepily waved to each other, "goodnight," retreating to your rooms after washing up and relaxing. everyone seemed to fall asleep once they climbed into their beds, but you and yunjin had other plans.

you had no idea she was even awake. you were still up because you enjoyed having skincare routines and dressing in your comfiest clothes before going to bed, but also because you wanted to pamper yourself before another day of exhaustion began.

you patted your cheeks and lightly washed your hands after you applied moisturizer to your face. you went through your closet, taking out your favorite pajamas and hoodie (unsurprisingly yunjin's), putting them on before stretching and plopping onto your bed.

you breathed a long sigh and curled up in your blanket, falling asleep, your eyes tired from being open for so long.

it had been at least thirty minutes, and you were still dozing off. you drifted to sleep, then slowly opened your eyes again, repeating the process. some things kept you awake at night for you to be this way, but it happens to everyone, so it was okay.

your lover seemed to be going through the same thing.

yunjin couldn't help but sit up from her sheets after an hour of tossing and turning, unable to sleep due to the worries that knawed at the back of her mind. she walked through the hallway, footsteps light, before stopping at your door and turning the knob.

she peeked her head in, noticing you left your night light on, and she smiled and adored you, eyes softening, before quietly stepping in and closing the door.

you heard someone enter during your light sleep, and you raised your head, not processing anything, until you saw your girlfriend kneeling beside you, looking adorably yet unusually lost.

"baby? what are you doing here?" You slurred.

"y/n," she fidgets with her fingers.

"oh, can't sleep? c'mere."

with a sleepy smile, you welcomed her, and she gladly crawled under the covers and into your loving arms.

she laid her head on your chest, and you ran a hand through her hair, humming and kissing the crown of her head.

"what's wrong, baby?"

yunjin felt hesitant.

"I'm... scared. and nervous." you hummed again, remaining silent so she could speak.

"I've never been so tense before. the last time I felt like this was when the rankings were announced during produce 48,"

hearing that made your head perk up. albeit sleepy, you still cared about your girlfriend and her well-being, so you tried your best to stay awake despite everything in your body telling you to shut down.

yunjin, your lover who knows you so well, noticed your eyes closing repeatedly and thought you were so cute that she smiled and took a second before kissing your lips.

"you don't have to stay awake, my love. I just need someone to listen."

you nodded at her and closed your eyes, listening to her open about her problems quietly.

"I'm scared for our tour because it's the first time we've ever had one, and it's also my first time experiencing one. sakura and chaewon unnie have done this before, so they might not relate to me. for kazuha and eunchae, I've found it difficult to talk about how I feel because I don't want to burden them."

"they're much newer to the industry than I am, and sometimes, it makes me think that I shouldn't feel this way."

hearing her concerns and what they were about made your ears perk up a little. because you knew yunjin, and hearing her this distressed jolted you awake to some extent.

she always looked forward to performing, and she always looked happiest when she was on stage. you knew this well, so her nervous and unsure demeanor made you slightly concerned.

"continue, baby."

"and sometimes I don't know what to do. you're the only person I want to turn to because I know you understand me, and you'd never judge me because you love me for who I am."

"you... love me."

"I love you, jennifer." you nodded in agreement.

"it's so difficult now that everything's sinking in. are we really going on tour in two weeks? am I even prepared for it? what if I don't satisfy the fans well enough, and what if they don't like our performances?"

"all our practices have also been so exhausting. and I'm so, so tired."

"but I have to fight through. I have to because I'm not the only one going through this. the other girls are doing this, you're doing this, and just because I'm feeling a little worse than the rest of us, does that really mean I have a say in... anything?"

you shook your head, not liking her words one single bit.

"baby, enough. you're just feeling sorry for yourself now. don't invalidate your feelings like that."

"I-" she paused, pressing her face closer to your chest, then quietly said, "I'm sorry, my love..."

you sighed and furrowed your brows, apologizing for being too direct. yunjin meant the world to you, and you both knew she valued herself more than this. everything that was going on was wearing her out and her emotions.

"you can tell me anything, baby. and you know what? I'm so glad you did."

"because I am here to tell you that you really are the greatest person I've ever met. whether you're on stage, doing random dances in the practice room, chopping fruits in the kitchen, strumming on your guitar, writing songs, or lying in this bed with me,"

"nothing will ever change my mind. you are the greatest, and everyone around you thinks the same."

"you've always put yourself and your enjoyment first, so why should it be different this time? just because it's our first tour? this is my first time experiencing this too, and even though I'm also tired from all the work we've been doing, it will all pay off in the end, trust me."

"we get to see all of our fans, who are so eager to cheer, support, and watch us strengthen our bond as a group. I'm worried about making mistakes, but instead of viewing it as something to bother me, I try to look past it and be positive about it."

"I'm also looking forward to the time we'll be spending together and the hardships we go through during it."

"and, most importantly, we should not forget that you are the huh yunjin. that is who you are. you have millions tripping over for you, baby. I am actually so lucky to have you. you always look and do your best when you're having fun, so when the time comes that we have to perform, try to look on the bright side of things and enjoy, okay?"

"you. are. amazing. I love you." you repeatedly poked her nose.

yunjin was rendered speechless. she had no words to say... and didn't even realize she was crying until you put your hands on her face and wiped her tears away. streaming down her cheeks, she exhaled before closing her eyes and resting her face in the crook of your neck.

you gently patted and stroked her back, humming one of the songs she made for you in return.

"It's okay, baby, I'm here."

she quietly sobbed, wrapping her arms around your neck, sniffling, and wetting your (her) hoodie with the emotions she'd been holding in for so long.

"I, I-"

"shh, it's okay, baby. breathe."

she began hyperventilating, all her worries crashing down on her, clouding her thoughts. but eventually, it faded, and you did nothing but the best of your ability to comfort her and help her calm down. she thanked you profusely, wondering how she had met someone like you in this lifetime and how happy she was to be your lover.

"and, one last thing. jen?"

"mhm?"

"you will never be a burden to us, okay?"

she just smiled and nodded through her tears, hugging you again tightly. "okay." she whispered and closed her eyes.

you had no idea how you ended up together and how your paths intertwined, but you didn't want it any other way.

actually, you would want it in any other way. as long as it was with her.

and as long as you could do this, you would always want it, time and time again.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ending notes — OH MY GOD I'M A GENIUS I'm an actual genius

#yunjin x reader #huh yunjin x reader #yunjin imagines #le sserafim x reader #le sserafim fluff #le sserafim imagines #yunjin #huh yunjin #🍃kachi's works

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itsscromp · 9 months

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Venom x reader platonic

Hey Hey again. The first headcanon I ever posted is officially my number one top post, The love it has received means the absolute world to me. so you guys deserve a full story. I bring forth the epic bromance between y/n and venom. enjoy :) word count:1.8k

Could your life get any worse than this? Not only were your bills racking up like folded laundry.

"I'm sorry y/n but because of budget constraints we can't keep holding staff, so I sadly am gonna have to let you go."

"What... no you can't, my rent just went up. Just put me in a different position, I don't care if it pays less, I need this job !!." You were on the verge of tears.

"I encourage you to file for unemployment payments. This decision wasn't taken lightly. You were one of our best..."

'Save it." You stormed off, packing your things and heading home, not even saying goodbye to your co-workers. Why... out of all the people they could've let go, it had to be you. Fucking great.

Heading home, you burst into tears, the amount of stress has been building up and it's reached boiling point. You couldn't hold it in any longer. After having a good cry for a while, you felt drained. Physically and mentally exhausted. You didn't want to do anything else. So the only thing you wanted to do was sleep. Walking into your bedroom and changing into your pyjama's you climbed into bed. Hoping to god it was just a dream. You tossed and turned, realising the power company cut you off cause you missed the deadline. so now your fan wasn't running, It was 85 degrees outside on a summers night.

"Fucking even more great"

You went over to your window and opened it just a smidge to let some cool air in. It worked, for now, tomorrow you'll move your butt to social services and file for unemployment until you find another job. Climbing back into bed, you didn't even bother wrapping yourself in a blanket, it'll be too warm. So you opted to just stay out of it.

As you slept though, a black goo-like being crawled its way into your window, it crawled its way over, climbing up onto your bed and then onto you, seeping through your flesh, disappearing; you only inside your body. This didn't bother you as you only just rolled over in your sleep.

The next morning you still felt drained, But you had to head down to social services and file for unemployment. getting dressed and making coffee, you suddenly felt like you hadn't eaten anything in ages, so you reached into your fridge. you realize that everything inside has gone off, no power no food.

"Oh come on..." And you also realize your kettle wasn't boiling too.

Skipping everything and throwing all your food out, you headed to social services and filed for unemployment. But the noises kept bothering you for some reason, It seemed too loud, the speaker calling out the ticket numbers. The babies crying. Some people yelling. It was almost too much.

"Ticket number A295, Please proceed to register 4"

The speaker called out and you shook what happened out of you and went over to the desk. Filing everything and were successful, they say your first payment should be received in 48 hours. So in the meantime, you have to make do with what you have. After which you headed to a food place and ordered breakfast.

"Hungry..." A voice called out, it sounded menacing. Looking around to find the voice you found nothing but just the people in line.

"Weird... You muttered to yourself, ordering your food you waited until the voice spoke up again.

"Food... sustenance... !!!!"

This was freaking you out by the minute. The waiter brought you your food and you devoured it, almost animalistic, you never acted like this before, it was just... so good. You had too stop when you saw people staring at you for how you were eating, plus also chewing loudly.

Going home, you sat there wondering what was happening, Vulnerable to loud noises. Even hungry, hell you even had an increased craving for chocolate, what the hell was going on !!!

"Y/n...." The voice called again.

"Who's there ??", Show yourself !!!"

Then the black goo appeared again, wreathing out of your body and revealing its face, it had no eyes, just white patches, and lipless and razor-sharp teeth. you were so scared you tripped on your coffee table almost falling to the floor but stopped midway, a tendril wreathed out of your back and stuck itself out on the floor before slowly rising you back to your feet.

"I got us." The creature spoke up

"What... what or who are you"

"I am venom, and you are mine"

What was this some kind of mind trick, you rubbed your eyes and looked again, no your mind wasn't playing tricks on you.

"You were that voice in my head"

"I can feel, see and hear everything you can, I can also read your thoughts."

You sat down on the couch trying to comprehend what was happening, First everything that just happened now your some host to an alien parasite.

"Parasite !!??"

"You read my thoughts, didn't you."

"I am not a parasite, you are..."

Then a bang on the door

"Where's that rent y/n !!!!"

Oh fuck your landlord, your 3 weeks overdue.

"Look I don't know how you got out but you need to go away"

"Very well..."

Venom then wreathed back inside your body as you went to the door and opened it.

"Look I'm sorry but I will have your rent in 2..." You felt a sharp pain as your landlord punched you to the floor, he reeked of wine.

"What the hell !!!"

"3 weeks y/n, you know what I do to people who are three weeks."

He was about to curb stomp you to new Year until you raised your hands and then it got covered in the goo. they looked larger and strong.

You then tossed him to the wall as you got up, the goo seeped back into your skin.

"What the hell was that !!"

This spooked your landlord way too much, he bolted for his life.

You kept trying to comprehend what happened.

"This is crazy"

'You haven't seen shit yet"

"What happened, why did my arms get covered in goo ??"

"I was protecting us, You are my host. it is my duty to protect you, we are bonded for life."

"So we're buddies ??"

"Something like that"

You felt the sting in your face from the punch and went to investigate in the mirror. but when you looked, you didn't even see your reflection, you saw venom. but it was slightly different. your saw his head but his body was large, very muscular and had veins all over.

"What the.." you gently touched your face as venom seemed to mimic the movements in the mirror. "This is weird."

"Like I said, you haven't seen shit"

Over time you continued to know venom, He is of an alien species called the symbiotes, who need an oxygen-breathing host to survive. Like you venom felt out of place and was a loser on his planet, you felt sorry for the poor thing.

"On my planet I was a loser, like you"

"Venom... I had no idea..."

His head wreathed out of your body.

"That was why I chose you as my host, you and I. We are not so different, But we together can be so much more."

There was even a point when venom decided to make breakfast for you.

"You know what always cheers me up in the morning y/n ?? sausages and brains"

You poured your orange juice just trying to enjoy the morning while venom had multiple tendrils out of your body, grabbing ingredients, chopping mushrooms and cooking the sausages. One tendril turned on the radio and started to sing along to the song.

"You say either, and I say eyether, you say neither, and I say nyther, Either. Eyether, Neither, Nyther. Let's call the whole thing off... OW OW Hot hot hot !!" He almost burnt himself as the pan caught fire and caused the smoke alarms to go off.

You moved to the table as Venom then pulled your chair towards it, he then started to massage your shoulder as he kept cooking in the background while also stretching his tendrils downstairs to get your mail.

"Cheer up old pal" He brought you your breakfast after finishing cooking it, Multiple breakfasts, eggs and toast, mixed with a milkshake and coffee and waffles

"Tada !!'

"This... looks delicious venom..." It looked barf inducing, but the fact he did this for you and the thought that counted, you started to smile.

"Ketchup ??"

"Sorry ??"

He squeezed the ketchup bottle too hard and it splattered all over your face.

"Oops"

But all in all, having venom changed your life for the better, it made you feel like you had a friend who could understand you and would always protect you.

You were on your way to Mrs Chen's to get Venom some chocolate and tater tots.

"Mixing it up today or the usual ??"

Hmmm what is that one with the golden filling that's delicious ??"

"That would be caramel venom"

"Then that"

But as you were looking for the caramel chocolate, Mrs Chen was getting robbed at gunpoint.

"Hurry up with the money Chen !!!" the thief demanded

"Is this it ??' venom spoke up, you told him before about bad guys and good guys when you were watching a movie, and it inspired venom to want to do the same thing. Even you as well.

"Yep"

As the thief continued to aim at Mrs Chen, the gun was knocked out of the thief's hand and was constrained by venoms tendril.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you"

As you walked over to the thief, Venom then wrapped around you, turning you into what you saw in the mirror. Tall large and muscular.

"You come in here again, in fact, you go anywhere in this city. Preying on innocent people, we will find you and we will eat both your arms and both your legs and then we will eat your face right off of your head. Do you understand ??"

The thief couldn't respond due to fear, he only muttered.

"No."

"Yes, so you will be this armless, legless, faceless thing won't you ??, rolling down the street. Like a turd in the wind."

"W..w..what the hell are you ??

Half of venoms face uncovered to reveal yours

"We are venom"

You smiled before venom covered your face again and then tossed the thief out the door and across the street, Mrs Chen mortified on what happened, looked at you as venom seeped back into your body.

"Oh...Umm, you see I have a parasite so... yeah, night Mrs Chen" with that you walked out

"Parasite !!, take that back immediately"

"Nah don't feel like it" you smirked

"Apologise !!!!"

"Ok ok I'm sorry buddy, I'm just teasing you"

"All is forgiven but of one thing.."

"What's that ??"

"You forgot the tater tots and chocolate"

A host to an alien, but it became the bestest friend possible, you two would achieve so much together. you knew it.

Taglist and fellow venom fan: @callofdudes

#platonic #venom platonic #venom x reader #venom #venom symbiote #reader insert

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kazemi-archive · 4 months

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I Try to Quit

Pairing: Tendou Satori x Reader Genre: angst What You Missed: deciding to try and quit seeing Satori after realizing how deep in you were, you realize it won't be as easy as you hoped it to be.

Part 12 of Side Effects

Withdrawal. Dictionary definition: the action of ceasing to participate in an activity. Withdrawal symptoms. Dictionary definition: the unpleasant physical reaction that accompanies the process of ceasing to take an addictive drug.

An addictive drug… that was Satori. Withdrawal? That was what you were going through now. Attempting to quit him. To not even talk to him. Cold turkey. No tapering yourself off him, no quick fixes just late at night… nothing.

18 hours. That’s how long you’d lasted without responding to him before it started to kick in. You’d remembered doing projects in psychology class about withdrawal. Most withdrawal symptoms begin to occur within 24 hours of ceasing to take the drug. That’s what the article you’d used had said. You’d thought maybe you’d make it to the threshold, that you could admit it wasn’t an addiction anymore. Then hour 18 hit.

A sudden wave of nausea had hit you. A sickening drop in your stomach at the lack of communication with him. Your heart skipping and your fingers itching to pull for your phone, to tap his number and type out a text to him.

24 hours and you felt trapped in your own hell. Restless fingers tapping your pencil in class to keep from reaching to message him. Like a pack a day smoker trying to quit the habit.

You weren’t sure if you were angry at him for causing this in you or angry at yourself for letting it happen. But 36 hours in and you were irritable. Eita had borne the brunt of your snapping multiple times already. Taking it with grace as you snapped, nerves short and temper high.

You couldn’t sleep. Thoughts flooding your head, what ifs on a loop until the sun rose. What if you couldn’t do this? What if these feelings were rooted deeper than you thought? What if things got worse? Worse… What if he hated you?

That thought sent you spiraling more. Why did it matter that much to you anyways? You couldn’t answer that. You had no idea. No way to know how he’d crawled his way into your soul and made a home in your heart.

You wanted to make it to 72 hours. To get through the roughest part of stating the withdrawal according to every article you’d read. But as you laid in bed, closing in on the 48 hour mark… you became nothing more than a statistic in relapses.

Showing back outside Satori’s door before the 48 hours were over, apologies on your lips only seconds before his were. A drug you couldn’t quite quit with side effects that you never asked for. The uncomfortability of those side effects, somehow though, were much better than trying to quit him. No matter how weak it made you feel.

TAGLIST : @tsukiran @the-last-shiv @faumpje

#𓇻 Side Effects

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spookyscarydemonbabe · 2 years

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Take Care of You

Summary- Gareth has had the worst day he could’ve ever possibly had. All he needs is someone there, and he’s happy it’s you.

Genre- Fluff, slight hurt/comfort

Warnings- Depressing thoughts from Gareth

Tag List- @imagine-all-the-imagines @ahzysauce (let me know if you’d like to be added🖤)

Words- 1.4k

You laid in bed and placed your bookmark back between the pages of your book, placing it onto the nightstand next to you as you pulled the covers up over your legs.

These past few months have been nothing short of amazing.

You and Gareth have been dating for a while and you felt it was finally time to take the next step and move in together. It was stressful of course, working longer hours and later nights to save up and having to deal with everything else in between made it difficult to stay on the bright side of things but you managed to make it work. Gareth however, was a different story.

He was overjoyed to be able to make such a big step with your relationship and he loved that he was able to fall asleep and wake up next to you every day and he loved that you were finally starting to get into the domestic side of your relationship, but he found it to be a lot harder on him than he thought.

He knew it would be a lot of work having to pay rent for the small apartment you found together, and he knew that he was going to have to really buckle down and start working his hardest to help keep a roof over your heads. He just didn’t know it would be so draining.

Every now and then he’d come home from work, give you a kiss, and go right to bed only to wake up and do the same routine again the next day and needless to say it was exhausting. But he always did it with a smile on his face so he would worry you.

You sighed as you looked at the clock on the wall above the TV before turning it on and flipping through the channels.

10:48 pm.

As you flipped through the channels of infomercials and late night reruns of old shows, you smiled as you saw The Thing playing. You knew Gareth would love to relax and watch his favorite movie in bed as soon as he got home. You heard your front door open and close and a bit of shuffling on the carpet in front of the door before Gareth opened it.

His hair was a mess, his clothes looked worn out, and you could tell by the look on his face that he just needed to sleep, but he still managed to give you a little smile as he shut the door behind him.

“Hi baby,” You said, getting up from your bed and greeting him with a kiss, “how was work?”

“ ‘S alright…” Was all he could muster before walking past you into the connecting bathroom.

You knew then that he wasn’t feeling right.

You followed him and stood in the doorway, watching him quickly change out of his dirty work clothes and into his pajamas. He looked at himself in the mirror for a moment before washing off his face and brushing his ruffled curls back.

“Gare?” You asked him quietly, “Is everything ok?”

He nodded silently and slowly made his was over to you in the doorway, leaning down to give you a kiss on the forehead,

“Let’s just get in bed alright?”

You held his arm and walked over to your bed, pulling the covers aside as you crawled over to your side and made some room for him,

“The Thing was on, do you wanna stay up and watch it with me?”

You pulled the covers back over your legs as Gareth laid down on his side, yawning as soon as his head hit the pillow,

“You can watch it if you want babe…” Another yawn escaped his lips as he turned over onto his side facing you, “I just want to lay down…”

You could tell that something was off.

This wasn’t the first time he’d come home late, exhausted, ready to fall asleep next to you, but he just seemed so different. Like something had shifted.

You grabbed the remote and shut the TV off, laying yourself down next to him and looking deeply into his eyes, looking for some kind of hint as to why he was suddenly acting so different,

“Do you want to talk?”

“Talk about what?” He said flatly.

“Gare, don’t be like that,” You reached your hand up and gently held his cheek, slowly rubbing your thumb over it, “I know something’s wrong.” He closed his eyes and shakily exhaled, and to you it sounded like he was trying to keep his composure.

“It’s ok…” You moved your hand and brushed a few curls off of his forehead, leaning up to place a gentle kiss at the newly exposed skin, “Do you just want me to listen?”

He opened his eyes back up and stared into yours, nodding,

“I’ve just been working so much (y/n)… I’m more than exhausted from it. I’m tired all the time, i’m sore from being on my feet all day, and i barely get to see you anymore because of it…” He shut his eyes once again and you could hear that he was close to tears, “And i love that we’re here together and we’re finally having the life that we want but i just feel awful for never being around anymore. I cant see you, i cant see my friends, i can barely sleep…” He took a deep breath and you wiped away the stray tear that ran down his cheek. He was working so hard to give you everything that you wanted, and you loved him so much for that, but it was causing more harm than good.

“You’re not going into work tomorrow.” You said sternly.

“What are you talking about? I cant just not go to work-“

“Gareth, listen to me. I know how hard you’re working and i love that you want to keep working as hard as you are to keep a roof over our heads but you need a break. I can see how much it’s affecting you, and i love you too much to keep making you feel like this.” You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into you, holding him close as he tried to calm himself down, “It’s ok. You’ve been doing so much to take care of me but i need to take care of you too…”

His arms wrapped around your torso and he pulled your bodies together, your hand slowly moved up and down his back to comfort him as he laid there exhausted next to you,

“But we need the money (y/n)…”

“Gareth, one day off isn’t going to set us back. You need a break, you deserve one! I promise i’ll talk to my boss the next time i go into work and tell them i need some more shifts, you shouldn’t be the one doing all the work.”

You could feel a slight smile and nod from him on your shoulder as you held him close, one hand rubbing his back while the other was brushing through his hair,

“Tomorrow you’re sleeping in. I’ll get up early and call you out of work, tell them you’re sick or something, and we’ll have a relaxing day together doing anything you want to. You can even invite the guys over! It’ll be nice to see everyone again. Does that sound nice baby?”

He was still quiet in your shoulder but you felt him nod. You smiled as you leaned over and pressed another kiss to his temple before he adjusted himself in bed, pulling away from you slightly to press your foreheads together,

“Thank you… I love you so much (y/n).”

“I love you too.” You leaned forward and softly kissed him, “Come on, it’s time for bed, it’s late and you’ve been up all day.”

He nodded and turned onto his side, pulling you with him as his arm wrapped around your shoulder. You placed your head onto his chest, listening to his heart beat softly as your arm snaked it’s way over his torso to hold him close, your legs tangling together under the covers. As your eyes shut, you felt him place a kiss onto the top of your head as he held you,

“Thank you for taking care of me.”

You smiled and nuzzled yourself into his chest, his warmth soothing you as you slowly started to drift to sleep.

“i’ll always take care of you Gare.”

_______________________________________________

If you’d like to see more of my work, make sure to check out my masterlist 🥰

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #gareth emerson #gareth emerson fic #gareth emerson x y/n #gareth emerson fluff #gareth emerson x reader #gareth emerson fanfic

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drunkewok · 1 year

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Tiger Inside

Chapter Four

Stray Kids Mafia (ongoing)

Masterlist

Likes, reblogs and feedback always greatly appreciated

WC: 3k

Pairing: Lee Know x reader

Genre: Series, Enemies to lovers, non-idol AU, Mafia AU

Synopsis: After years spent away from the family, two strangers start frequenting your place of work, only to bring daunting news. Flung back into the world of the mafia, you try to adapt to your new normal and work alongside a team of eight skilled members to uncover a mystery and take down an unknown enemy.

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, drinking, swearing, violence, weapons

Disclaimer: Any portrayal of Stray Kids or any other idols in this story is purely fiction and do not at all reflect their own personalities or how I view them as a person, it is purely for the sake of the story.

Please do not copy or repost my work

My eyes squinted as I failed with a miserable attempt to shield my face from the light aggressively shining through my windows, honestly windows this large in a bedroom facing the sunrise should be a crime.

Lifting myself from the cradle of the soft mattress below me I sat up, finally getting a moment to observe the room Felix had led me to last night. I had been barely coherent, hardly aware of my surroundings as I struggled to keep up my pace behind him. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and in a half awake daze started to take in my surroundings.

My suitcase sat beside the dresser that was across from the foot of the bed, a mirror above it reflecting my rough appearance back at me. I was painfully aware of the blinds, which most definitely should have been closed last night before slumber, being wide open as I struggled to keep my squinting eyes away from the beam of sunlight making it’s way into the room. My head pounded as if I had a piercing hangover, my body clearly angry with me from missing an entire night of sleep prior. I quickly realized that I still wore the same clothes as last night, too tired to strip and redress myself before crawling into bed.

With a groan I collapsed back into the mattress, staring at the ceiling, as I recounted the events of the night. This predicament that I now found myself sitting in the back of my mind, preventing myself from finding any comfort beneath the warm sheets around me. There was nothing I wanted more than to just melt into the blankets, finding more blissful comfort in the embrace of a dead sleep. I rolled onto my side away from the windows, attempting to pull the blankets to my face and get comfortable again.

A soft couple of knocks emitted from the door, my groaned “whaaat?” slipping out from under the sheets. I could hear a slight chuckle from behind the door, the voice following clearly identifying Felix standing behind it.

“So I take it you’re finally awake then, come out here when you’re decent.” I pushed the blankets off of me again in a groan, finally lifting myself from the comfort of bed. I crossed to the mirror, settling down any hair put astray from a deep nights sleep. Taking a deep breath, I made my way to the door and opened it slowly, finding Felix leaning against the opposite wall. He stood as I appeared, a soft smile spreading on his face before he observed my outfit with a raised brow.

“You hadn’t changed?” I responded with nothing but a weak shrug, wondering if it was truly surprising with the last 48 hours I’ve had. “Well, Chan’s been waiting to talk to you.” I pressed my lips together in a tense line before closing my eyes and sighing.

“I should have expected that, huh?” My feet fell in line behind Felix, following him down the stretched hallway. “Let me guess, Chan’s the leader?” Felix nodded as he turned us to the left down a separate hall, my eyes finally starting to take in the massive home I was within. Last night my eyes were far too foggy with sleep, unable to observe the dark hall I had been led down.

“Yeah, he didn’t really expect you to sleep in until 4, but he insisted we let you sleep.” My feet stopped abruptly where I stood, staring at the back of his head in shock.

“IT’S 4 O’CLOCK?” He finally stopped and slowly turned around, looking at me in confusion.

“Yeah? Nothing wrong with that, we know you didn’t sleep at all the night before, and that’s kind of me and Hyunjin’s fault.” I scoffed with a laugh before continuing behind him, only a few more steps before he stopped before a large door. Looking back to check that I had caught up with him, he then turned back to the door and left three knocks. A voice within welcomed him in, Felix poking his head in just slightly.

“Hey Hyung, y/n woke up.” I absent-mindedly picked at the skin around my nails, more nervous than I had expected myself to be when now facing the very thing that held me from my family for so many years.

“Oh shit. Yeah, um, go ahead and let her in.” I could hear him shuffle papers around on his desk before Felix stepped aside, gesturing me inside. The office was the same stained mahogany as Blossom, a bit of home sickness already starting to settle in my stomach. The room was long, bookcases lining the sides bringing your eyes forward to the two chairs with their backs to the door and facing the desk before them, at which sat the man I could only assume was Chan. His icy hair pushed back from his face, showing that it adorned a scar over his brow and one across the cheek. He leaned back, running a hand through his hair in exasperation before sighing and relaxing back in his seat, finally looking up to me as Felix stepped out, shutting the door behind him.

“An honor to finally put a face to the daughter of the Choi syndicate.” He gestured to one of the seats before him. “Please, come sit. I bet you have a lot of questions.” My eyes finally fell on the empty seat, only just now realizing the other was occupied by someone yet to look at me. His eyes stayed on the floor in front of Chan’s desk with his chin resting upon his hand. I quietly crossed to the chair, taking a seat before him. Chan leaned forward, interlacing his fingers and resting his elbows upon his desk.

“I guess I should start with introductions, I’m Bang Chan” his hand rose to gesture to the gentleman next to me “and this is Lee Minho.” Minho still failed look at me as I glanced to him. His features were sharper than Chan’s, his hair a warmer chestnut color than any of the other members I’ve met so far. Chan tongued the inside of his cheek with a clenched jaw, the tension filled room I had walked into only just now becoming apparent to me.

“I know Hyunjin and Felix told you a bit of the situation we’ve all found ourselves within.” Chan’s gaze turned back to me, I can tell he’s trying to soften his features in an attempt to possibly calm my nerves with being flung back into this world so abruptly. I fidgeted with my hands in my lap, watching as Chan scanned over the papers in front of him before sighing and continuing. “And let me be first to give my condolences about your father. I heard Hyunjin was a bit…blunt… with his delivery of the news.”

“Oh no, I definitely fed into that one, can’t really put all the blame on him.” I waved my hands in front of me to disregard any offense. “And to be completely honest, I’d been prepared for this day ever since I left, I knew it would happen eventually.” My hands fell back into my lap, my eyes immediately drawn back to them. I’ll be first to say no level of preparation could have truly made me ready to receive the news, but I told myself if I just put focus on distraction it might make this whole situation a little easier. Chan tapped a pencil to his desk, focusing on me with a look of concern.

“Right…” He leaned back, arm perched on the arm rest and chin settling between his fingers, deep in thought. “Well, his assailant has still yet to be identified, and because of that Jiho wants close eyes on you incase they intend to target you two as well.” Chan’s eyes fell back on the still silent Minho, another frustrated sigh leaving his lips. “I’ve informed Minho here that he’s to be by your side for that purpose.” My face scrunched as I glanced between the two, Minho’s eyes still glued to the floor.

“Wow, I can definitely say he seems elated by the news.” My sarcasm bled through my words as I rolled my eyes. The person refusing to even acknowledge my existence is being given the task of managing my protection? “As flattered as I am to say someone is supposed to be my protector, I can fend for myself.” Finally the first indication of life came from beside me, Minho letting out a scoff as he sat up in his seat staring forward to Chan.

“There’s nothing I’d rather fill my time with, Boss.” My side eye glare was evident, his flat tone doing very little to disguise his irritation.

“Jesus christ can you two please just play nice? You guys don’t have to like each other but at the very least you can fake it.” Abruptly Chan’s phone began to ring, Minho and I fell back into silence as Chan held the receiver to his ear with a nod. “Alright, I’ll send them down.” Chan rested his elbows upon his desk again as he hung up, glancing between the two of us. “Y/n. Someone’s here to see you. Plus, you need to meet the others. Minho, please show her down.” Minho rose from his seat first, quickly turning on his heels and making his way back to the door as I followed. As he opened the door, Chan called out one last time to us before shooing us off with his hand.

“Remember, just behave yourselves. Please.”

Footsteps echoed through the halls of the home as I followed Minho in silence. The same stained wood carried throughout the rooms as we worked our way to the grand staircase leading to the foyer, ceilings high making me feel miniscule in comparison. Branching off the foyer was a sitting room at the front of the home, a man standing before the large window, observing the scene out front with hands held behind his back. He slowly turned to us as we neared, Minho stepping to the side as the face of Jiho came into my view.

My chest tightened as I ran to him, enveloping him in a tight embrace that I had felt deprived of for so many years. His arms wrapped around me with a chuckle, holding me close and resting his hand on the back of my head.

“Good to see you too, Goober.” I pulled back with a smack to his chest, tears already starting to build in my eyes, contradicting the wide smile now stretching across my face. Jiho cupped my face and wiped the tears with his thumb, scanning my face with a gentle grin. “Look at you, you’ve changed so much.” He pulled me closer once again, holding me tight.

“10 years tends to do that.” I choked out through pained sobs, the emotions I had been ignoring for so long finally hitting me all at once. “Speaking of which I think it’s about time to retire the name Goober.”

“Never.” His chuckle vibrated through his chest, his voice soft as he rested his chin a top my head. “You’ll always be Goober to me.” Jiho pulled away, hand falling back towards the seats behind him. I wiped my face with a deep breath, centering myself before sitting beside him, finally taking in his changed features.

“So Dad’s really gone…huh?” Jiho’s quiet nod in response made me exhale deeply as I looked away, reality truly starting to seep in. “I guess, what does that mean for us?” I leaned back in my seat, my gaze settled back on him as I chewed my cheek.

“Well, as I assumed you’ve heard, I’ve taken the seat.” Jiho scratched the back of his neck before leaning forward, resting his arms on his legs as he focused on the floor before him. “I can’t do this without you, y/n.” He glanced up to me, his eyes drooping in a plea. I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt, feeling tense under his gaze.

“Jiho… I-I don’t know.” I squirmed in my seat, the abrupt inability to keep myself still taking over. “You know how long I’ve been away, how is it even possible I’d be able to help you?”

“You’re a Choi. Of course you can do this.” He reached forward with a quick squeeze of comfort to my knee. “I’m not talking about immediately, you need some time to acclimate, get your bearings. That’s why I wanted you to stay with SKZ, they can teach you well.” He glanced back to Minho, who’s presence leaning against the archway had quickly been forgotten by me with sight of my brother. “Especially this one here, he’s the best they’ve got.” I shot a quick glare behind me, Minho’s forced smile with a subtle wave. I turned back to Jiho with a sharp stare.

“Yeah, we’ll see how that one plays out.” I settled back in my seat, staring out the window in front of us, the trees with the soft glow of the sun beginning to set behind the house. The looming fear that had been locked away within me now reaching the surface. The blissful ignorance I had been living in for so long had been obliterated, the hope for staying away from everything crumbling beneath me. I rubbed my temples, closing my eyes and running through every possibly of turnout. Did I truly have this potential? Would I be able to prep myself to take charge by Jiho’s side? I leaned forward, resting my chin on my thumbs with my hands pressed together before my mouth. I scanned the room around me in thought, the depth of the color scheme within this entire house seemingly matching the ominous appearance of the exterior. “The family still dealing in arms exchange?” Jiho and I shared a nod toward the other, both slipping into silence again as I contemplated my options. I hummed in a disheartened response. “So what exactly happened with Dad?” I avoided Jiho’s gaze, one that which stayed pointed on me.

“Happened during the night within his home. Which is why I can’t let you stay alone anymore, it was definitely a hit.” My eyebrows raised with a deep breath, the years of no contact with the family starting to process through my mind and giving me disdain. The thought of the last time I had the ability to see my Father being at 17, I couldn’t help but feel as though it was handled in vain. “We can take this over, y/n. I’ve been at his side since you left, I just need you to do the same for me.”

“This is a big ask, Jiho.”

“But you’re more than qualified for it.” His response was quick, glancing back to Minho still standing in the entryway. “Listen, I can’t stay long. I just needed to see you finally. Get yourself settled here, get a hang of things. We can talk about this more later, okay?”

“The others should be down shortly anyways.” Minho’s piped up, catching both of our attention. I rolled my eyes as I looked back to Jiho.

“Don’t leave me alone with them I swear to god.” Jiho chuckled as we stood and pulled me into another embrace.

“They’re good people, y/n. Just try to make the most of it until you can come home.” He pulled back, ruffling the hair on top of my head. “You’ll be back before you know it”

“Is that really necessary?” I quickly settled my hair back down as we started to hear the sound of feet behind us. I glanced back to the men coming down the stairs, each giving a quiet nod to us as they passed the archway and made their way deeper into the home.

“And it looks like that’s my sign to head out, go meet the boys.” Jiho patted my arm before crossing beside me towards the front door. Felix was last to come down the stairs, a soft smile pointed my direction again, at least one felt like they were welcoming me with open arms. “I’ll be in touch, take care of yourself.” Jiho slid out the door and made his way to a car waiting for him, the silence following his exit felt deafening as I rubbed my face in defeat. This was truly happening.

“Com’on. Now isn’t the time to wallow in self pity.” My eyes caught sharply on Minho, hoping my irritation translated to my face properly.

“Hmm. Easy for you to say.” I scoffed as I walked past him, avoiding eye contact as I made my way towards where the others left to, Minho following behind with a soft chuckle. If any of the others happened to be like him, this surely was going to be a difficult stay. The most I could hope for was that the rest of the group didn’t feel so cold with the ever looming stress of the current situation.

Entering into what appeared to be the living room, my eyes fell on the boys now settled on the couch. Felix and Hyunjin sat beside each other, the other four unfamiliar faces immediately landing on my entrance with tense stares. I was getting real tired of these repeating uneasy conversations immediately after waking from a hibernation. They better have some form of liquor in this house, I was going to need it after all of this nonsense.

Next chapter

#stray kids mafia #stray kids #skz mafia #skz #lee know x reader #lee know enemies to lovers #bang chan #lee know #changbin #hyunjin #han #felix #seungmin #jeongin #fanfiction #stray kids freeze

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yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit · 20 days

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Regular sleep experiment day "fuck it" of idec.

Again I fell asleep at some point after 10, woke up some time later and laid in bed trying to sleep for what I would estimate was at least about 2 hours, before checking the clock and seeing it was only 12:30 instead of even 3 am.

I'd propose that what I try next is just sleep in two 4 hours shifts, one at day and one at night, but that's effectively what i have been doing and my night sleep just erased itself.

I have crawled out of bed to have a cokey-cola and watch x-files because I don't want to spend yet another night just laying there from before midnight until after 5 without sleeping.

Illicit nighttime caffeine tastes so cold and crisp and fizzy. I actually put this box of them in the fridge before consuming them all so they are actually cold. I was torn between avoiding aluminium and avoiding microplastics, but I wanted to be able to drink it in smaller portions without the whole bottle going flat, so I got cans. Tasty tasty rule breaking.

I don't think it matters, my only hope now is to completely upend my current 'schedule' so I can sleep for more than 4 hours in a day again. I need to so desperately. I am getting weird chest pains again, and my heart acts up more when I am sleep deprived.

I guess another part of the problem is that the time I get sleepy at acts like I have a non-24h sleep cycle, where I have to push my bedtime by 1-3 hours each day or I just lay there awake, but the time I wake up -usually- understands what time it is on the clock and will be at the same consistent hour anyway. I have no problem with laying there awake telling myself calming scenarios until I drift off, but the problem is that if i do that too much, my brain becomes content to lay there all night thinking. It's best for my sleep in general if I can fall asleep shortly after laying down.

I have considered that this might be due to having an alarm which can force me awake at specific times by uh... Waking me up, but even if I set a sleep time alarm, which I do, which I currently have, it can't uh... FORCE me to fall asleep. So my body is trained to wake up at a consistent 24h kind of hour, which it will do with no alarm, but not to get sleepy at a consistent 24h kind of hour... Melatonin doesn't help set this time and sleeping pills do something weird to me that makes me really wakeful if not alert or full of any energy. [The last time I tried sleeping pills I was awake for 48 hours despite laying in bed for over 10 hours doing breathing exercises...]

None of this is a symptom of any disorder currently known to man, unless it just counts as the irregular sleep patterns you expect from a patient with dementia or certain psychotic disorders, neither of which I have to the best of my knowledge. Except the caffeine not being helpful thing, that's adhd for sure. So I don't really think there's any point in prioritizing this issue with doctors over my other problems because they aren't likely to know of disorders that I can't even find mention of on the internet in either formal or informal spaces, especially not my gp, and they can't prescribe me anything anyway due to my metabolism being weird. I have brought up issues sleeping before and I get a lot of shrugging. It doesn't help that I sleep 16 hours a day the other half of the time, so they can't treat one problem without making the other worse.

I have also tried alcohol to try to sleep by now, for the record, and that's how I was able to scrape about 20 minutes out of this.

So now I drink this can of coke, feed my cat, and see if caffeine helps me sleep.

If I can't sleep from now until 5, I am going to try again at just staying awake all day to delete whatever 'schedule' my brain thinks it's on now so I can sleep more than 4 hours. If I can sleep from now until 5... I am going to do that, but also let myself have caffeine at bedtime again.

Fuck it, I don't even care, I just want to sleep.

This is why trying to force myself onto a regular schedule is always a pipe dream that turns into regrets.

#the great regular sleep experiment of 2024 #cringefail body

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tllgrrl · 7 months

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Heart Beat: a SarahBucky Vampire AU - Chapter 4: Safe House, Pt 1 - Well, How Did I Get Here? by @tllgrrl aka Nefertiri Jones

Summary: He wasn’t supposed to be in this situation. She most certainly wasn’t. She wasn’t supposed to know his kind even existed outside of movies, books, and TV shows that she never let on she gleefully watched while consuming fresh hot popcorn and a glass of wine.

All either of them could think was:

Well…how (TF) did I get here?

* * * * * * * * * *

Mama! Come on mama!

I won’t hurt you…

Come on, Honey!

Say it. I need you to believe it. Please…tell me.

Last one in!

I’ll take care of you. You’re safe. I promise…I promise. I’ve got you…

…Sarah.

* * * * *

“CJ…baby, I missed you so much…” she murmured.

She tried to open her eyes. The room was dark.and she could barely move, but she always enjoys the feeling of him holding her, their long legs entwined while they sleep.

“Shhhh…” Arms tightened, pulling her closer. “Not yet. Here…”

“Mmmm…this…is…”

“Good? Yes, it is. Now sleep.”

Full, content, she sank back into the warm darkness.

* * * * *

48 hours later…

She was in bed. A bed. Not her bed.

And it was dark.

“CJ…Cassius…?” She reached back and found nothing. An empty space, a cold pillow.

It was so real. It always felt so real.

Wha…what…?” She struggled, pushing herself to sit up, and when she did a wave of nausea rolled over her, compounded by an extreme sense of vertigo that gave her a feeling of falling.

Falling up. Like resurfacing from a deep dive.

She was wearing what seemed to be a man’s shirt that was very much over-sized on her almost 6 foot tall frame.

Her hands quickly confirmed that she was also wearing a bra and panties, which gave her a momentary sense of relief seeing as how she had no idea where she was or how she got wherever she was.

Her relief was short-lived because out of nowhere she was hit with an almost overwhelming feeling, like a switch was flipped on in her whole body:

(Hungry.)

She flinched and swallowed the scream that started to crawl up her throat.

She wasn’t just hungry. She was famished, and how quickly it hit her almost took her breath away.

“Shit…” she whispered, “what was that?”

“Deep breaths. Take your time…” a deep voice softly spoke from somewhere nearby. “It is a shock at first.”

That voice.

Deep in her body she felt an almost primal urge to run, but…where? It was dark and she couldn’t see anything.

It was so dark that she couldn’t get oriented, but she was now crowded against what felt to be the headboard. Trying to put her body where no one…nothing…could get behind her.

He could clearly see her, though, in the dark room.

“Your vision will start adjusting, soon. Just keep breathing.”

“Who are you? Where am I?” she rasped over a dry throat. “Where are my clothes?! I was wearing—uh!“

She gasped, grabbed and held onto the sheets while the bed began to spin.

“Stop…stop…ohgod…” she whimpered, hardly able to hear herself over the ringing in her ears.

The mattress dipped beside her, a large hand touched hers and the bed stopped spinning. Her ears immediately stopped ringing, too, but when she snatched her hand away, the ringing and spinning resumed.

“Don’t…touch me…ugh—”

The next thing she knew she was desperately feeling for the edge of the bed and when she found it, she leaned over and was sick.

She pulled her knees under her, momentarily ignoring the hand that was on her back, steadying her. Then an arm was holding her from behind as she retched again, gasping and coughing.

“That’s normal,” he said, gently.

“No,” she groaned, trying to push him away. “Not…not…”

She tried to say how not “normal” this was, because not only was she occupied vomiting so hard her eyes began to water, somehow she was also desperately hungry.

So hungry she wanted to cry.

So hungry she almost felt giddy while puking her whole insides out.

She’d never felt hunger like this.

Her whole body… craved.

When she seemed done, he settled her away from the edge of the bed and back against the headboard.

She felt a damp cloth pressed to her face, wiping her mouth.

Had her hands not been shaking, she would have taken the cloth and done it herself.

“That’s a little better, yeah? I'll take care o’ the floor and I’ll get you another shirt in a minute.”

Looking at him her eyes began to adjust, getting accustomed to the darkness. Just like he said.

She recognized him. Those eyes. That voice.

The man from the ER… and the morgue.

“No! Get away from me!! You get the fuck away from me!!”

Pushing him away, she crawled/dragged herself to the middle of the bed, her arms and legs feeling like it’d been ages ago that she’d used them.

“What the hell?! I was…I was at the hospital! How’d I get…where am I?!”

For a few seconds she heard a heartbeat that was slow and steady, not like hers because her heart was busy trying to beat its way out of her chest.

She backed off the foot of the bed and looked around her.

It was dark but gradually she began to make out objects and shapes. She could see that it was a large loft space. There were various pieces of furniture in the middle, bookcases filled with books along some of the walls.

She was in what seemed to be a private corner of the loft, with a wardrobe and a large antique-looking vanity. The bedroom.

And standing next to the large bed, was…

Barnes.

“Sarah…”

She took a step back. Then another. “You…”

Then she turned and managed to take a few staggering steps but her legs weren’t trying to comply. He must’ve known what was about to happen because before she hit the floor she was caught, lifted as though she weighed nothing, and placed back on the bed.

“How long have I…been…ohgod—“

She leaned over the side, gagged, threw up again and wiped her mouth with the sleeve of the shirt she was wearing.

Then she saw it. She knew what she was just looking at, but her brain kept pushing it away.

Trying to catch her breath, she pushed herself back from the edge of the mattress, got up to her knees, held out the blood-smeared sleeve to him and yelled “What the fuck is this?!?“

Then the bed rose up and crashed into her.

Keep Reading on AO3

* * * * * * * * * *

Chapter 1 : The Beautiful One is Coming, Pt 1

Chapter 2 : The BeautifulOne is Coming, Pt 2

Chapter 3 : The Beautiful One is Here

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ageofnations · 2 years

Text

Marigold // jmk // pt. 11

Summary: After staying behind while Danny goes on tour, you do everything you can to salvage your relationship. Will you be successful? Or will you find refugee elsewhere?

Word Count: ~6.6k

Warnings: none really! a bit of anxiety and crying, but nothing severe

A/N: i can’t apologize enough for the hiatus. thank you for everyone still waiting on this series, i appreciate you all for sticking with me. i’m sad to say that this will be the last chapter of marigold. we may see bip in the future, but for now, i hope you enjoy the conclusion of this series.

playlist // Chamomile Masterpost // Marigold Masterpost

Part 11

Can we talk?

You stared at the three words, thoughts racing faster than you could control.

You searched for any hidden meanings that were possibly veiled in what could’ve been considered a harmless sentence.

You imagined this as another ploy to start a fight. A chance for him to finally let you have all the pent-up anger from seeing you. A chance for him to trap you and accuse you of breaking his heart.

Maybe you should’ve felt silly for overanalyzing such a short message, but you just couldn’t understand why. Why he’d even reach out. Why he’d text instead of just calling. What he possibly had to talk about. Why now?

Aside from it all, you felt almost guilty upon receiving the message. Sure, it wasn’t your fault that he was texting you - up until this point, he still had your number blocked - but there was something about it that made you uneasy. Something about getting a text from your ex-boyfriend, innocent or not, made your stomach rumble and your skin crawl.

You looked at the sleeping boy wrapped around you, hoping that he hadn’t begun to stir from the bright light of your phone illuminating the space. You scanned his features, his chest rising and falling at a steady pace, his face pressed against the pillow beside you. It seemed as if Josh was still sleeping soundly against you, completely oblivious to the situation at hand.

You wish you were that lucky.

Things hadn’t progressed since you got back from their tour. Sure, you had been able to exist in the same room as each other for a day, and sure, you had even smiled at one another. But after that, things went back to how they had been. You stepped off the plane and went your separate ways. No contact. Nothing.

Was this a step in the right direction?

Josh leaves in an hour. Call me then.

After you saw your message deliver, you locked your phone and placed it back under your pillow. There was no use in trying to go back to sleep, especially with Josh getting up soon for some family excursion that his mom had set up, but you at least wanted to try and rest while you could. You convinced yourself that it would only be a simple phone call. Something that just happened and would help your relationship with the group return to normalcy. It may even bring you closer to Josh. Closing one door, allowing yourself to fully enter the other.

Eventually, you were able to push it out of your mind enough to act as normal as possible.

But once the hour passed, Josh still scurrying around your apartment to gather any forgotten items, you became antsy, fearing that Danny would call at any moment. You shifted nervously at the edge of the bed as you watched your boyfriend flit about the room and stuff miscellaneous belongings in his bag. You felt hyper aware of your phone, as if it were burning a hole into the pillow it was tucked under.

And of course, Josh noticed.

“I know I’m leaving for a bit,” he said, looking at you warily. “-but you look like you’re gonna throw up.”

You huffed a laugh, glancing towards your hands to avoid his gaze. “Just gonna miss you.”

It wasn’t a lie, but you hated how well he was at reading you.

“I’m gonna be away for less than 48 hours, mama.” He was smiling, but his brows were knitted with concern. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, Josh. Really. I probably just-”

When you finally looked back up at him, you could no longer give your made-up excuses. His frown made you swallow any malice or frustration that you had, and you instantly regretted your tone with him. You sighed, digressing from your bluff. It should’ve been simple, but you couldn’t find the words to explain the situation to him. It was an easy ‘Danny texted me,’ but your lips couldn’t form the sentence.

Your hand was reaching under the pillow before you realized what you were doing. You unlocked your phone to show the messages to Josh, but before you could hand him the device, you froze. You had missed a message, and soon you understood why he hadn’t called you as soon as the hour passed.

I’d rather talk in person. Come over?

“Y/N, seriously, you’re scaring me.” Josh had begun to cross the room, and he was standing over you within what felt like seconds.

The idea of seeing Danny - by yourself - made your mouth run dry. You had only been able to be around him because of Josh. He had been your saving grace, the force that kept you grounded and seemingly unphased by your ex-boyfriend’s initial reaction to you. But now, you wouldn’t have that. In minutes, Josh would be leaving you alone to fight your own battle, and you were quickly realizing that you were unsure of your abilities to do so.

Without responding to the message in front of you, you handed your phone to Josh. And you waited. You waited for him to burst at the seams with anger. To be mad at you for even entertaining the idea of talking to Danny. To seem betrayed that you didn’t come clean first thing this morning. But he didn’t.

In fact, he seemed relieved as his eyes came across the conversation. A smile even flashed across his features as he sighed and handed your phone back to you.

“I was wondering when he would reach out,” he said, rubbing a hand on your cheek before turning his back to you. He returned to the task of packing his things, his demeanor seeming much too cool for the circumstances.

“You knew?” You were suddenly able to find your voice again, confusion evident in your response.

Yet again, he shrugged as if it were no big deal. “He talked to me first. Asked if it was okay that he wanted to talk to you.”

You let the statement sit in the air for a moment, processing just what was said. What it meant.

Danny had already talked to Josh about whatever it was that he wanted. Josh knew, and he was okay with it. Danny had gone out of his way to make sure he wasn’t crossing any boundaries, but for some reason, you still felt uneasy about it.

“What does he want?” You asked hesitantly, looking back at the messages in front of you.

“I don’t think I’m the one who needs to answer that, Bip. I know it’s scary, but I think you should go. If it all goes wrong, you can blame me.” With his bag set up by the door of your bedroom, he shot you a smile and returned to you, sitting beside you after kissing the top of your head. “I’d go with you if I could.”

You sighed. “I don’t know…”

“It’ll be fine,” he promised softly, nudging your shoulder with his own. “I’m not gonna try to convince you to stay or go. But… do what you need to do, okay? Whatever that may be.”

If you had ever forgotten why you had fallen in love with him in the first place, this was sure to remind you. He was always gentle with you, understanding in every way, rationalizing everything you overthought. His reassurance provided the comfort you needed to calm down, to face the task at hand with a level head. His love, his compassion, was enough to make you feel capable to conquer whatever feat you were faced with. You pitied people who didn’t get to see him in the ways you did.

“I love you, Josh,” you responded finally.

He smiled at you, placing a tender hand on your cheek to draw you nearer and close the distance between you.

God, you’d never get enough of him.

“I love you, too,” he mumbled against your lips, kissing you once more before reluctantly pulling away. “Walk me to the car?”

You nodded with a smile. “Of course.”

–

It was hard to believe that you were able to come to a decision and stick to it. You imagined you would’ve turned around and walked away from the door almost as soon as you knocked on it. But here you stood, outside the front doors of the boys’ shared home, waiting on someone you used to be enthusiastic about seeing. Your heart would’ve been beating erratically with excitement of being alone with Danny. You would’ve imagined all of the possibilities that may arise, and once you had started dating, you would’ve thanked every higher being for allowing you time to have him to yourself for a moment.

But now, you weren’t full of excitement. You weren’t eager to see the man you once loved. You were just afraid. You were fearing what would happen once you entered their home, and that fear almost caused you to get back in your car and leave. You fancied that option, relishing in how relieving it would feel to just forget about this whole ordeal. But when the door finally opened with Danny standing on the other side, you knew there was no turning back.

He looked good. Tired, but good. You had adjusted to his new appearance enough to see that - although it was different from the Danny you once knew - it fit him. He had grown into the look.

He wore an expression of astonishment, yet he donned an almost pained smile.

“You came,” he breathed, almost as if he believed you wouldn’t have shown up. Not that you blamed him. You hadn’t responded to his message, not wanting to agree to something you weren’t sure you’d stay true to.

There was a twinkle in his eyes, and there was something in the way he looked at you that made your cheeks run hot. You quickly looked at your feet to break eye contact. “I did.”

He took a deep breath before moving out of the doorway and motioning for you to come inside, which you obliged. “Can I get you anything?”

You shook your head as you moved past him. “No, I'm fine. Thank you.”

Your answer sat in silence for a moment while you stood in the familiar space of the living room. You started to feel the awkwardness of the situation creep on you, and you began to overthink everything. Had you sounded rude by turning down his offer? Were you supposed to say something else? Should you have even come here?

“You look good.” The tentative compliment tumbled out of his lips and interrupted your thinking.

That was different. It was a simple nicety, something you should have been used to, but you certainly weren’t expecting. You were in simple jeans and a band tee, nothing too flashy to applaud.

“T-thank you, Danny,” you answered softly, unsure if you should return the phrase to him. Would he get the wrong idea if you did?

He worked his lips to form another smile before gesturing to the sofa. “We should, uh, sit?”

You made note of his distance as he sat. He shared the couch, but he was far enough away from you that he wouldn’t make you uncomfortable. He picked up on your uneasiness, just as he always had in years past.

“I asked you to come here so we could talk,” he started, quickly clarifying himself. “So I could apologize.”

Oh, you thought. So we’re jumping right into this.

Your fingers wrung together as you tried to desperately keep yourself occupied. “Okay.”

“And you don’t have to stay, not if you don’t want to. You can leave at any point, and…” He trailed off, as if he knew his next words would hurt. “...and we won’t have to talk again. If that’s what you want.”

It wasn’t. It was far from what you wanted. But you couldn’t manage to tell him that. You could only sigh and remain focused on your sweating, shaking hands.

“So…I’m sorry,” Danny continued, knowing that he needed to be the one to start the conversation, as difficult as it was. “I don’t have an excuse for what I did, and I don’t want to make any excuses for myself. I just… want you to know that I realize I'm in the wrong here. And as much as I want your forgiveness, I know I don’t deserve it in the least bit.”

And for the second time today, you waited. You sat and waited for yourself to wake up. To come out of this spell where everything you had been hoping to hear was finally materializing. But you didn’t. You didn’t wake up because this wasn’t a dream. This was real, this was Danny apologizing.

You didn’t forgive him, but you knew that saying so would only escalate things. You didn’t forgive him, but you appreciated his apology. You didn’t forgive him, but every beat of your heart was telling you to.

You sighed, trying to formulate your thoughts so this could go as smoothly as possible. “You fell out of love, that’s not your fault.”

His head cocked to the side, and he studied you carefully before speaking. He seemed to be replaying your response over and over in his mind, trying to see if he had heard you right. His voice was all but a whisper when he finally spoke again. “Do you really think that’s what happened?”

The question sounded rhetorical almost, so you stayed silent.

Danny was shaking his head at your rigid form. “I was stupid, I was an ass, but I never once stopped loving you.”

You scoffed at his dismissal. “You can't call that “love,” Danny. There’s no way.”

“It was love. Every fucking night… It was always love.” There was a stern tone hiding behind a mask of desperation. It resembled the nights you’d argue about god knows what, knowing the conversion was fruitless in the end. You had always given in to him then. You’d always let him win, even if you knew he was at fault, just so you could move on. But not now.

Now, his persistence infuriated you. It lit a fire under you, one that was quickly spreading faster than you could control.

“Always love? Radio silence, occasional booty calls, sometimes just downright ignoring me? That’s love to you?” The pure disbelief made it impossible to manage the volume of your voice, the intensity making him cower back in an instant.

“Bip…”

“No, Danny,” you interrupted, snapping your head to look at him. “You called me here, and I truly want to forgive you, but I’m not sure you even know what you’re apologizing for.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but knowing better than to make things worse, he digressed. Suddenly, he became the one trying to avoid your gaze. His eyes fell to the floor, fixated yet not looking at anything in particular.

“I waited on you. I waited on you to snap out of whatever fucking daze you were in and realize that I was still here. That I was still your Bip, even from miles away, through the arguments, through the weeks of not hearing from you. I waited. And once you finally told me what you wanted, you still barely said anything at all. All of a sudden, you wanted nothing to do with me, and you didn’t give a shit about how that made me feel. And you have the nerve to call that love?”

His silence indicated that he knew you were right. That although he never stopped loving you, he stopped showing you that he loved you. And that’s exactly where he went wrong.

Of course he cared about your feelings about everything he did. He felt like shit for hurting you, but in that moment, ending the relationship seemed as if it was easiest. It was much easier to rid himself of one responsibility while he had so much going on. He had gotten rid of the burden that he carried from having you around while he couldn’t give you the consistency that you needed. That you deserved.

You were a priority of his, you always have been. But you weren’t his first priority.

You sighed, choosing to look away from him as tears clouded your vision. The deep breath helped ground you. Although you were still exasperated with emotion, you could slow down, allow yourself to be vulnerable, and speak your mind.

“I've been afraid that Josh is going to leave me one day.”

That’s when Danny looked back up at you, his expression just as incredulous as his tone. “Why do you think that?”

You couldn’t help the eye roll that occurred before you answered, but you still spoke softly, carefully. “I never thought you’d leave me. We made promises. We were basically kids when we met and yet we still planned a future together. We were the sweethearts that everyone knew would end up in love. We were that couple. If we couldn’t last then how could I expect Josh and I to-”

The words were cut off by a choked sob that you weren’t aware you were holding in. Finally letting out the tears that suffocated you felt almost cathartic, but what Danny saw- what he heard - broke his heart.

You were right. He didn’t know what he was apologizing for. He knew he messed up, he knew he hurt you, and he knew you deserved an apology. But until now - until he saw your body shake as the tears streamed down your face, until he saw you physically unable to look at him - he didn’t realize just how badly this had affected you.

When he saw you and Josh together, he would have no idea that you were concerned about the stability of the relationship. In his eyes, you essentially seemed to be one step away from marriage, stuck in a honeymoon phase that would never cease to exist, even if it had been only a few months. But now he finally saw that, while everything seemed to be perfectly fine with you and Josh, you were constantly plagued with worries. And it was all Danny’s fault.

He waited a moment, searching for the right words to say, debating if he should say anything at all.

“He’d be stupid to leave you,” he whispered.

Although you still couldn’t manage to look at him, the sentiment reduced your crying, and Danny saw that as a win.

“It was my fault that we didn't work out,” he continued. “The fame, on top of finally having you after years of being crazy about you… I just couldn’t handle it all at once. You helped me find the confidence I needed, but that confidence quickly turned into cockiness and I was immature and-”

He took a shaky breath to quell his rambling. “-and I have no way of knowing just how bad I hurt you, but please believe me when I say… I'm so sorry, Bip. So fucking sorry.”

Danny watched as you looked to the ceiling, seeming to wish away the tears as you tried to compose yourself. He noticed you nibbling at your quivering lip, and he could imagine the various things running through your mind. It reminded him of all the times you had come to him for things like this, venting and ranting about whatever was going on. Reminded him of the times you’d lean on him when you were hurt, trusting that his embrace would comfort you. But now he couldn’t even do that.

He’d never forgive himself for this.

“I didn’t want to make you cry again,” he spoke softly, trying to fill the silence with something while he shifted uncomfortably in his place beside you.

You shook your head and looked back down at your hands. “It’s just…a lot, Danny.”

“I know,” he agreed. “I should’ve done this sooner.”

You felt him scoot closer to you, the space on the couch that had once been empty, now occupied by him. There were still a couple of inches that separated your bodies, but he was close enough that you could feel the heat that radiated from him. You could smell his cologne. You could sense the same comfort that he exuded in years past.

“You don’t deserve to feel insecure in your relationship because of someone else. Josh is fucking in love with you, almost to the point where it’s embarrassing, really.” He paired the quip with a husky chuckle before he continued. “But he really cares about you, and he gives you the consistency that I struggled to give. He’d do anything for you.”

For some reason, you did find comfort in his words. They were reassuring in a way that was foreign to you. You no longer felt the lingering urge to keep crying, you found it easier to breathe, and you felt the tension melt from your muscles.

“I saw he took you out for your birthday,” Danny noted, only slightly changing the subject. He saw that talking about Josh’s love for you seemed to help, and as much as it pained him, he knew it was what you needed.

And when he saw your lips turn into a smile, he knew that he was right.

“He did,” you responded.

“You looked…wonderful. That dress was absolutely perfect for you.” He marveled with a smile. The expression wavered, however, as he started his next sentence. “Is that when…?”

He trailed off, unable to finish his question. You could only imagine how he was trying to tiptoe around the subject, avoid the self-anguish and intrusion on the privacy of your relationship. There were so many things he could’ve asked. So many things he wanted to ask, but he didn’t know how. Is that when you realized you loved him? Is that when you guys made things official? Is that when he finally managed to make you forget all about your past relationship?

“Kinda,” you answered, assuming that all of his potential questions would have essentially the same answer. “It’s complicated.”

He managed a soft smile. “I want to hear about it, if you’ll tell me.”

“Danny-”

“I mean it,” he interrupted. “Really.”

And he did. It hurt to know that he would no longer be the one to make you happy. It hurt to know that you had already moved on. It hurt to know that you were happy while he was not. But he needed to. He needed to hear you say that you were satisfied with what you had now. He needed to know how your new relationship came about, that Josh hadn’t taken advantage of you while you were at your lowest. He wanted to hear you rave about the man you were in love with, because to Danny, he knew that might be the only way he’d see you smile again. He wanted to know what your side of it was, how you reacted and how you felt at the end of it all, and how Josh had come to pick you up when you were at your lowest.

So you told him. You explained every detail, every bit of the story from your point of view. You picked up from moments before Danny had texted you to break things off. You carried on through the next week or so, describing each little event and emotional rollercoaster. Danny listened with a pained, yet genuine, smile as you babbled about the things Josh did to make you feel better. You talked to him as you would about any other crush or significant other in your past. And now as you ended your retelling with happy tears and a beaming smile, he could see his best friend again. He saw you no longer as his ex, the girl whose heart he broke; he saw you as Bip. His Bip.

“I like the way he treats you,” Danny acknowledged once you had concluded.

“Josh?” It was obvious who he was talking about, but his genuine remark took you by surprise. You hadn’t expected him to say such a thing.

He nodded. “Yeah. Just seeing you guys together, it makes sense.”

“Oh.” You knew you didn’t need his approval, but finally having it made something inside you almost feel content. Almost. “You’re not… mad?”

“No,” he huffed a laugh, shaking his head at your question. “I mean, I was at first. God, I was livid. Especially seeing those first few pictures of you two, I just… couldn’t grasp the fact that I had really lost you. But, I'm glad he took care of you. I’m glad that he is taking care of you.”

“I’m glad, too,” was all you could muster in response. Your smile slowly began to fade, but you weren’t too sure why.

“Then that’s all that matters. Don’t worry about what I think.”

Danny noticed your reservation. No matter how much he was trying to assuage your worries and reassure you that he was okay with this - at least as okay as he could be - he couldn’t help but catch on to your distant nature. He nudged your side a bit, hoping that his playfulness would ease whatever was troubling you.

“I mean it,” he continued. “Really, I’ll be okay. I just want you to be happy. You’re happy with him, right?”

You nodded, however your tone was still low, face still sullen, body language still closed off. “Very. He’s good to me.”

The sudden lack of emotion in your response caused Danny to raise an eyebrow at you. “And you’re sure?”

“Positive.” You huffed a laugh at the protective connotations behind his questioning. But you wanted to be sincere with him. You were plagued with a feeling you needed to sort through with him. As easy as it would be to continue with your indifference, you knew that this might be your only chance to put it all out in the open. Everything you were feeling, everything you had felt throughout this situation, deserved to be said. “I just- never mind.”

“No, don’t do that,” Danny chided, turning slightly to face you. He even placed a hand on your knee to bring your attention back to him, the action sending electricity through your body. “Talk about how you’re feeling, nothing is going to get resolved if you don’t.”

You sighed and searched for the words that would convey the millions of emotions and thoughts you were experiencing. “All of this… sitting here and talking to you… it’s surreal.”

He took a minute to respond, and you had to glance from his hand to his face to make sure he was still paying attention to the conversation. Finally, he questioned you with a tilted head. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. We’ve always had each other. We’ve always been ‘it’ for each other, and I thought I’d have you forever. And when you left, I convinced myself I’d never be able to see or talk to you again.” You were repeating yourself, you knew that, but it was the only way you could instill a decent explanation. “But here we are.”

He nodded and looked away from you, ridden with guilt again and not entirely sure what to say next. “Here we are…”

The words hung in the air, and the tension seemed to thicken. There was a sticky residue left from you starting this conversation, now it was your turn to clean up your messes.

“Can I tell you something?” You blurted.

Mixed in with the sigh that escaped him, you heard the word “Anything.”

“Don’t get me wrong when I say this… I hate what you did. I can’t tell you how fucking bad it hurt, but somehow…well-” You paused, already embarrassed by what you were about to say. You wondered if you should even say it to begin with. “Would it be insane to say that I miss you? Us? I mean, it all ended so fast I-”

You scoffed at yourself, annoyed with how flustered you were becoming with this conversation. This was Danny, your best friend. You should feel comfortable enough to tell him how you felt.

“You were my first real love,” you continued. “And we had so many firsts together. I just didn’t really get to savor all of our ‘lasts’, you know?”

“Lasts?”

You breathed a hurried sigh. “Do you remember our last kiss? Our last ‘I love you’? Fuck, even our last phone call?”

Danny seemed to think about it for a moment, recounting the memories of your relationship, but finding that it was no use. Of all the things he remembered, those were certainly not easily accessible. “...No.”

“Exactly,” you proceeded. “Neither do I.��

His thumb rubbed against the seam of your pants, making you hyper-aware of his hand placement and how long it had been there. But did you really mind?

You continued with your weak attempt at an explanation. “We focus so much on those firsts that… when the lasts come, we don’t even fucking realize it. We don’t get the closure we need. And I don’t really know what I'm saying, but I-“

In a motion completely unexpected by you, you felt your face colliding with another. Danny’s.

He kissed you.

He is kissing you.

It felt just like it had back then. Back before all of this. Careful, unhurried, and completely focused on the present. You could feel the love he had for you, the feelings that still reside. And yet, you could also sense the hints of loneliness behind the kiss, something that hadn’t been there in the past.

It felt right. But oh, so wrong.

You shouldn’t enjoy this. You shouldn’t be appreciating how his lips fit perfectly with yours, like a key to a lock. You shouldn’t be thinking about the leftover taste of toothpaste in his mouth, the same kind that he’d always used and kept a tube of at your place. Or the taste of the same Chapstick flavor he would always argue with you about being the best kind. You shouldn’t acknowledge that, as horrible as the pairing of the two was, the taste was familiar, comforting.

His hand had shifted from your knee to your thigh, and you could tell by the way he was squeezing it that there was a piece of him that desperately wanted to deepen the kiss, but the hesitance was too strong. His other hand had moved to your cheek, holding you to him for as long as you’d let him.

It wasn’t until you felt that sweet burn in your lungs from lack of oxygen that made you detach your lips from his. He didn’t protest the movement, but you heard him sigh with disappointment.

Your fingers wrapped around his as you pulled his hand from your face, holding it gently in your lap and watching as his thumb caressed the soft skin on your knuckles. You couldn’t meet his eyes, but you knew he was looking at you with an intensity that you couldn’t quite place.

You sighed to yourself, knowing how difficult it would be to move on from what had just happened. “Dan…”

“You said you wanted closure…” His interruption was a warm welcome, especially considering you had no idea where to start. You noted how gravely his voice had become, something that had always happened after he kissed you. “Is that enough closure for you?”

No, you wanted to scream. You didn’t want closure. Closure would mean that there was no turning back, no return to what had become so normal for you both. You didn’t want closure. Closure would mean that the end was no longer near. It was now right in front of you.

“Look, I’ll never stop telling you I love you, even if I can only say it platonically. I’m still gonna bother you with phone calls just like I used to. You don’t have to worry about those ‘lasts’... but this-” he paused, squeezing your hand to further drive his point. “This is different... I know I won’t get to kiss you again, and I probably shouldn’t have then, but I- I miss you, too. I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing you.”

The admission sat in silence while you both ruminated on his words. Of course, you had always wanted to hear him say things like this. You wanted to hear that you meant as much to him as he meant to you. You wanted to hear that you weren’t the only one adjusting to the feeling of loss, of grief. You wanted to hear that you got your best friend back, but his words still wrenched your heart.

It hit you. Although you knew exactly who you’d choose when given the chance, no matter what, someone would be hurt by your decision. You could imagine the smile that would creep up on his face, beaming from being told that he was still the one for you, elated that you had not moved on from him. You could imagine the feeling of being reunited with the man you had spent countless weeks, months, years pining over.

But you could also imagine the feeling of crushing the heart that belonged to the man you loved now. You could imagine the perplexed look he’d don when deep in thought, desperately trying to push past his own feelings if it meant you were happy. You could imagine him going silent anytime he saw you and Danny together, the pain-ridden expression evident despite his attempts to hide it.

You could imagine it, but you certainly didn’t want it.

You sighed, still not able to make eye contact with the man in front of you. “I want you to move on someday. I need you to.”

Danny shook his head, immediately not accepting your plea. “No one is you, Bip.”

“Someday, Danny,” you insisted, tears threatening to slip once more. As sweet as he was, his response did little to appease you. The thought of him shying away from all affection from others, just for the chance to love you again, made you feel much more guilty. “It’s gonna be hard, I know. But you deserve to love again. Someone out there deserves the love that you showed me before all of this. It’s not fair to anyone if you torture yourself with being alone.”

A beat of silence.

Then another.

Then finally, a nod.

You hoped flashing a smile would help rid the tension in the air, but once you were finally able to look up at him, your expression faltered. His face was slightly contorted into a mix of confusion, pain, and acceptance. He wanted to understand, but he couldn’t face the idea of loving anyone other than you. It would take time.

“Thank you, Danny. For everything.”

You saw his head barely bob in response, his nodding almost unnoticeable because his thoughts distracting him. “I’m sorry I kissed you,” he whispered.

It was genuine, that much was obvious, but the apology made you laugh out loud. “Don’t be sorry. I’d be willing to argue and say it was the best one I’d ever gotten from you.”

The joke made him laugh as well, and you saw the nerves release from his body. “That’s a strong statement.”

“Arguably,” you quipped back.

You didn’t stay much longer after that. After catching up about little things, promising to hang out again soon, and hugging your goodbyes, you made your departure. Although you longed to come back to spend the day with Josh, you were slightly relieved that he wouldn’t be waiting for your return. It wasn’t often that you wished for the solace of a quiet home, but now, after rekindling the feelings and emotions that had been repressed after all this time, you knew you’d enjoy lying in bed. Alone.

You had just gotten settled under your comforter, cozy pajamas on (even if it was the middle of the day), before you sent Josh a quick text announcing your homecoming. You anticipated he’d respond later when he wasn’t as busy, but instead, your phone immediately began buzzing in your hands. You smiled as his cheery face lit up your screen before accepting the call.

“Hey, baby wh-”

“Hey, I can’t stay on here long but… you know I love you, right?”

His interruption caught you off-guard, and you picked up on the sense of urgency in his tone. The frantic nature was successful at inducing anxiety you were not prepared for. “Of course I know that.”

“And I’d do anything to keep you in my life?”

Now, you were worried. “Josh… what’s going on?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just… we’re okay, right?”

You smiled to yourself before answering. In some twisted way, his need for reassurance made you feel that much more loved. He treasured you as if you were his career, all of the wealth and precious valuables combined. He couldn’t lose you. “We’re perfect, Joshua. Are you okay?”

“Yeah!” He answered quickly. You noticed the volume of his voice fluctuating a bit, some of his words sounding more muffled than the others as he continued. “Yeah, no I’m fine. Danny just…”

He paused, and you picked up on movement on the other end of the call. He sighed to himself, this time sounding a little more sure of himself than before. “I got a text from him just a minute ago, and it scared me a little I guess. But if we’re okay, then I’m okay.”

Your eyebrows furrowed, mind racing as to what he might’ve said to Josh that would worry him this much. Things had gone smoothly. Nothing really happened. You had reconciled with your best friend, received the apology you had been hoping for all this time, what could possibly-

The kiss.

Of course, it was something you’d talk to Josh about. You felt like he should know about it, even if there was nothing behind it. It was a seal. It served as the end to an era that you had loved in the past. You needed to tell him, though. You feared how he’d react otherwise. If Danny had already disclosed what happened, you were in for a completely different conversation.

You hesitated before you asked, your voice coming out weak and feeble. “What did the text say?”

There was noise in the background, and he paused to listen, a quiet response following. You imagined he was being rushed to get off the phone, and once you heard his voice again, you knew you had been correct. “Look, I gotta go, but I’ll send it to you and text you as soon as I can, alright? I love you so so much.”

You could almost hear the smile on his face once he heard you return the phrase. The sweet sound of a pleased hum, and the image of his rosy cheeks made you smile to yourself as the call ended. But the anxiety of what Danny could’ve possibly said to make him this worried… it was consuming you.

It wasn’t long before you felt your phone buzz again, showing that Josh had sent an image. And when you opened it, you scanned the contact name of who had sent the message in the screenshot, the name reading “Daniel.” And as you looked at the message in question, the one that had scared Josh so quickly, your eyes immediately began to water. Not out of sadness or anger, but of relief and reassurance.

The words weren't meant for you, which made them that much more meaningful. He didn't say it because he felt he had to, or because he felt as if Josh would turn around and tell you. He said it because he meant it.

Please tell her that you love her. She’s worth keeping around.

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superpixie42 · 2 years

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Childhood

@sometimes-icanstillhear-sitboy InuPrompts Day 3 - A Ficlet at 680 words

Not at all a hasty rewrite inspired by the last 48 hours in my life

When Kagome announced she was pregnant, Inuyasha went through a violent series of emotions very quickly. There was shock, there was elation, then there was a bone deep dread, swiftly followed by fear and a need to join his wife in the bushes to throw-up.

But by the time his son– his son– finally arrived he felt more prepared than he thought he would. They had a basket, they had diapers, they had blankets and furs and chew toys durable enough for hanyou teeth. He’d even “baby proofed” as Kagome put it: sanding down the corners of the table to avoid pointed edges; getting all new smooth, clean mats for the floor; even rebuilding the doorframes so they would be harder for a baby to slide.

He was also prepared for threats outside the home. Mirroku had ofuda’d every inch of the village. They went on daily patrols and - even though he would never tell Kagome- he’d scent marked every other tree in a three mile radius. He’d even bullied Sesshomaru into making more regular appearances.

With all this prepping little baby Enji was snugger than a bug in a rug. And thanks to extensive prep time with Sango’s children, Inuyasha was at least mostly ready to deal with the crying, the diaper rash, and the lack of sleep Kagome was going to suffer while breastfeeding.

So how come nobody fucking told him during all this the kid was going to actively try and kill himself at every available opportunity?

Before he was even crawling Enji seemed to find everything and try to pop it directly into his mouth. He scratched his face, punched himself in a place Inuyasha was very sure he didn’t want to be punched, and pulled his own hair when he was mad.

Then there was crawling.

How was this a good idea from an evolutionary standpoint? Kagome told him about how humans and animals adapted to their environment to ensure survival. So why did baby humans allow their tiny baby heads to take such a beating as they bellyflopped their way directly towards the active fire pit!? Why did baby arms fail at holding them up but their hands could grip a knife that was unwatched for a single blink? Enji couldn’t stand, but he could roll directly into the river while they washed laundry?

So he decided if the baby didn’t adapt then he would. More toddler proofing. Or, more accurately, more toddler failure.

The new bathtub he built? Apparently actually a climbing gym.

The bed he made? More like a crash pad for swinging from the ceiling.

And he didn’t even want to think about the garden with its hoes and its stakes and the fence and the dirt and the snakes and just… everything.

As Inuyasha spent yet another night on sentry duty, watching over Enji and making sure the newest collection of scrapes and bruises cleared (he healed faster than his mother, but definitely not as quickly or as completely as his father) he couldn’t shake the gnawing feeling in his belly that he should be doing… something. He wasn’t sure what, but something more to keep his son safe. He didn’t want to lock him in the house all day - not that that would help anyway - but Inuyasha had been so focused on outside forces hurting his child, he never really considered how unintentionally self destructive a lanky, super strong, super fast, absolute moron child could be.

But even after - or maybe especially after - taking a major fumble from a tree during the eight seconds it took Inuyasha to turn and answer a question Enji had still smiled. Still laughed. Still ran immediately back to the same damn tree and tried again.

Maybe that was the point, though, wasn’t it?

Maybe he couldn’t keep his not-so-little-baby-boy safe from everything, or even himself, but he could keep him happy. Could keep him trying again. Could help him laugh even as his mom smeared that horrible smelling goop all over the broken skin.

In the morning Inuyasha would check to make sure Enji was healed and they’d go break something else. Together.

#november inuprompts 2022 #weeping angels nothing DO NOT BLINK AROUND A TODDLER OR CRAWLING BABY #parenthood childhood prompt #inuyasha fandom

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makibeni · 11 months

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Ch. 48- What Makes Me Special

Distant sounds of the moonlit city streets murmured in Kobeni's ear. The girl laid in bed, head filled with pointless thoughts describing nothing she'd remember in a moments time as she tried to think herself back to sleep. Her eyes had already acclimated to the dark, the dim blue hue that covered her... Makima's bedroom taunting her with the affect of morning. She turned her head, the warmth of the pillow becoming apparent only after a tantalizing taste of the cool and untouched fabric to her side. Despite how gracious and hospitable her host had been she still didn't feel quite at home, enough so that she prioritized leaving her surroundings undisturbed above her own comfort. Even still, the girl had her limits, and after what felt like nearly an hour of convincing herself whilst staring at the ceiling, she finally began her slow crawl towards the side of the bed.

The movements she made were slight, each accompanied with a glance back in Makima's direction, eager not to wake her partner under any circumstance. The dogs were another issue, though one easier to handle. A minefield of fur and paws all curled around the bed like walls encircling a castle. With careful maneuvering she made her way through, slipping past their defenses and exiting the room. Her footfalls were quiet, subdued steps gliding toward her destination, but another obstacle now stood in her path.

Their unexpected house guest slumbered on the couch, bundled in the coat she came with, huddled in a small pile with the cat still by her side. She seemed exhausted enough by the end of the night, Kobeni recalled her distantly staring at her feet as she cleaned up her dinner plans and Makima dispassionately informed Himeno of the situation. The conversation had been short, Makima seeming displeased throughout, although Kobeni wasn't entirely sure on what prompt. Part of her wanted to believe she was genuinely disappointed at missing out on their romantic evening, but her self esteem wouldn't permit her accepting such reasoning at face value. A slight noise interrupted her train of thought as she held her breath, her eyes darting back and forth between the bedroom and couch trying to assess the damage. In a few moments the pin-drop silence returned and she continued her excursion.

She was in the final stretch, carefully withdrawing a glass from the cupboard and filling it with a steady stream of water. She drank it where she stood, each sip slowly sliding down her throat as the cacophonous sound of every gulp filled her ears. Kobeni took a final turn around the room, though Power was still seemingly fast asleep. She permitted herself a slight sigh as she placed the glass in the sink and made her way back to the bedroom.

"Why does everyone like you so much?"

She froze, feet caught in the doorway as a sharp chill ran down her spine. The words waited for her in her ear as she pleaded for a moment, wishing for an impossible world where she'd simply slipped back into bed unheard and resumed her slumber. When she was ready to hear them, Power's woes rang out in her mind. The tone was strange, her statement seemed sarcastic though she was asking it as if she genuinely wanted to know. The girl turned, leaving the doorway and shuffling closer to the devil.

"I... don't think that many people like me..."

A whiny retort quickly followed a huff as frustrated as it was sad.

"Miss Makima likes you, everybody in that stupid work building likes you... Himeno likes you..."

Power pulled the jacket tighter, burring herself deeper in what little comfort she was afforded.

"Why do they like you and not me..."

An uncharacteristically quiet mumble, a discordant desire to be understood without being heard ringing out, thoughts given form by a heedless author deprived of her whims.

"P-people like you!"

Kobeni responded sheepishly, dismissing the little devil's grievance outright in a reflexive turn. There wasn't a grain of truth to her statement, in her experience Power was a generally unpleasant individual who's company she found very little pleasure in. Yet even still, she'd taken her in, even asked her girlfriend to offer up her home as lodging for her, out of what reason she still couldn't place.

"You're lying! People don't like me! They're scared of me! They hate me and they're scared of me!"

Kobeni paused, looking down at her feet and contemplating Power's response. She didn't understand her, she barely knew her, but she felt a glint of kinship towards her in that moment. A sentiment strong enough to get her to truly consider what she may be feeling beyond empty deflections.

"I... I thought you liked it when people were afraid of you..."

Power moved her head, tilting it towards the girl, not enough to see her but enough to acknowledge her. She rested there for a moment, contemplating her own feelings. The process was strenuous, she was tired, frustrated, sad, angry, and a thousand other things she couldn't name. Not knowing her pain began to sting more than the hurt she'd felt along the way.

"I do... just... sometimes I want... the other stuff too"

Kobeni took another slow step forward, crouching down beside the devil and wrapping her arms around her legs. She stayed there, the two unable to meet each other's eyes, darting distant glances past one another with a strange understanding.

"Is that why you came here?"

For the first time she asked a question she understood the answer to.

"I guess..."

The emotion in her voice had faded as clarity slowly dawned on her.

"I just wanted to know what makes you so special, then... maybe some people might like me too..."

Kobeni stood, breathing a deep sigh and slowly making her way back towards the bedroom. On the precipice of the door she turned, granting one last distant gaze, this time finally locking eyes with the devil.

"Honestly... I don't know why people like me either..."

#makima x kobeni #makima #kobeni #kobeni higashiyama #makibeni #power #chainsaw man #fanfic

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dearfuturehusbandblog · 11 months

Text

Update On Not Sleeping: I Sleeped

Dear Future Husband,

So, Friday night I took a generic sleep aid.

I rarely use these, but when I do, I never take the official dosage (usually like a half a pill, which is 1/4 of a dose) and I’ve only ever experienced help falling asleep, not actually staying asleep. So I’ll wake up at like 6am to go to the bathroom and then just be wide awake for hours.

But I was practically falling on my face after dinner, having gone like 48 hours with no sleep and was afraid when I got into bed I’d be over that sleep hump and just be wide awake and unable to sleep again.

Which kind of happened.

I had to make my bed, and I think the process of like changing to pajamas, brushing my teeth, and making my bed “rewoke” me and when I actually got into bed, I was no longer yawning and just staring at the ceiling wide eyed.

So I took the sleep aid.

But since it wasn’t even 12am yet, and I didn’t want to wake up at like 4 or 5 in the morning and be wide awake with no reasonable time to take another sleep aid, so I took the full dose.

You guys.

I’m not a drug person.

And by that I mean both recreational and medical.

I was pumped full of garbage when I was a kid and as an adult I have a major aversion to all of it.

As a kid I got migraines all the time and my parents had me taking adult dosages of excedrin and/or advil. When I was sick, it would be buckets of cough syrup or benadryl or sudafed.

And I’ve come to realize that most of it is unnecessary. If you eat and drink properly, colds go away on their own. And my migraines never needed adult dosages of anything. These days I take ONE advil liquigel and that’s generally sufficient. If not, I take a second. As a kid, my parents had me on FOUR. EVERY SIX HOURS.

And for the record, no they never asked a doctor.

And no, they never told my doctor.

So as an adult, I avoid medications whenever possible. For infections/allergies or skin irritations or something that requires antibiotics, I get it and I’m on board. Everything else can go jump in a lake. We overprescribe for everything these days. I mean, I don’t even generally drink alcohol aside from the arba kosos on Pesach.

But this means that in general, my body isn’t used to the affects of these things.

Also the expiration date was 2017 so I have no idea how that affects the diphenhydramine or whatever it is.

And I took the full adult regular dosage of 2 pills because I didn’t want to wake up at some ungodly hour and be stuck wide awake when I needed to sleep.

This meant that I fell asleep before midnight and woke up just before noon.

But here’s the problem: I drank a lot of water before I went to sleep and I’m guessing I didn’t wake up at all in the middle of the night because it got into my dreams that I needed to go to the bathroom and in the dream I was having when I woke up, I was going to the bathroom.

Things didn’t get that far in real life (thank god!), but when I woke up, I had to RUN to the bathroom, which is something that never happens to me. Like ever. Probably TMI here, but I generally have a strong bladder and can hold it for a while, unlike the rest of my family.

Anywho. As long as I was up, it felt stupid to crawl back into bed, despite still being so tired. So while I was up I brushed my teeth, got dressed, went out to the living room, said hi to BigSis, sat down on the couch with a book and.... promptly fell asleep again. For another six hours.

Y’all. I slept about 18 hours on Shabbos.

I mean, I guess I needed it but dang.

I wasn’t in a comfortable position, so I kept waking myself up with snores (another thing I don’t generally do), and each time MotherLivelyHeart and BigSis were at different stages. At one point MLH had just come out for coffee. Then they were setting up for lunch. Then they were eating lunch (I missed the whole kiddush/motzei part). Then lunch was over and BigSis was reading and MLH was laying down. Then BigSis was asleep.

It was like the passing of time in between stretches of trying to get this drug out of my system. For the rest of the day, it was still making me not process things well.

So crazy.

And... that’s kind of it.

I was kind of wired again last night when I tried to go to sleep, so I took another sleep aid, this time just the 1/4 of a dose I usually do, and got 6 decent hours of sleep. So I’ll probably stick with that dosage going forward. Though I may experiment with a 1/2 dose, just to see if I can get something between 6 and 18 hours of sleep. lol

Now, if only I can regulate that and get onto a normal sleep schedule for the first time in my 30+ years on this planet...

That’ll be the day that pigs fly, I’m sure. But if it does happen, I’ll probably make an update.

For now, I’ve learned that drugs and I do not agree. And I’m generally fine with that.

-LivelyHeart

#jumblr #frumblr #jewish #jewish dating #dating #shidduch dating #shidduch #shidduchim #shadchan #shadchanim #i am the shidduch crisis

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friskynotebook · 1 year

Text

You Make It Feel Like Christmas Ch. 2

An Obidala Hallmark Christmas movie rewrite!

CW: age gap, food, grief, injury, concussion

Summary: Obi-Wan and the kids take Padme in—too bad she doesn't remember who she is.

Also on AO3!

Obi-Wan smirked as he drove home, watching Luke ogle the fresh apple pie from the corner of his eye.

“How’s that pie?”

“Still warm!” Luke grinned at his dad.

“ . . . We’re expecting up to three feet of snow in mountain areas,” the newscaster’s voice crackled over the radio. “The National Weather Service says the storm can last anywhere from 24 to 48 hours.”

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows. “That sounds like perfect sledding weather to me.”

“Yeah!”

“We can go tomorrow after breakfast, how does that sound?”

“Awesome!” Luke beamed.

Obi-Wan turned back to the road—only to find a woman wandering in the middle of the road, a dazed look in her eyes.

“Whoa!” Obi-Wan swerved and slammed on his brakes, taking a moment to catch his breath.

He turned to his son. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” Luke nodded.

“You stay right here. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay,” Luke replied, anxiously looking out the window, back at where the woman was.

Obi-Wan got out of his truck, cautiously approaching the woman.

“Are you alright?” he called. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

The woman gazed at him, her warm brown eyes out of focus. “Uh . . .”

“Why are you out here?” he asked, placing his hands on her arms and scanning her fine features.

“I don’t know . . .” She trailed off, looking behind her. “I was in a snowbank? I think? And I crawled here . . .”

“Oh goodness,” he muttered. “Did your car break down?” He tried making eye contact with her. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I don’t know . . .” She stumbled forward.

Obi-Wan caught her, instinctively pulling her closer.

“Oh dear,” he murmured, frowning at her forehead. “It looks like you’ve got quite the head wound there—we should take care of that.”

He led her to the truck, opening the door for her. “Luke, scooch over.”

Luke picked up the pie and slid to the middle, letting the woman get in next to him.

Obi-Wan quickly went back to the driver’s side. “That cut looks pretty bad. We should get you back and take a look at it—gentle, gentle.”

The woman had started touching it, then examining her fingers. “I’m bleeding?”

“Yes, you are, which is why we should get home as soon as possible.” Obi-Wan started the truck again.

“You know what, I’m fine,” she insisted. “I’m just gonna take a little nap—”

“No, no, don’t do that!” Obi-Wan interrupted her. “You shouldn’t sleep with a head wound until we get it checked out . . .” He bit his lip, glancing at his son. “Luke, what should we talk about for our drive home?”

“I can tell you about the squirrel family in the backyard!” Luke suggested, grinning at the woman.

“Um, okay,” she replied, turning towards the boy.

Throughout the drive, Obi-Wan snuck glances at the strange woman and his son, ignoring the light fluttering in his stomach.

Woof! Woof!

Padme frowned, her head threatening to split wide open.

Where am I?

Slowly, painfully, Padme blinked her eyes open. She was in a child’s bedroom—a little girl’s, judging by the canopy bed, fairy lights, and princess motifs on the wall. Her eyes soon focused on the source of the insistent barking—a little terrier resting beside her on the bed.

Her brow furrowed even further. Where am I? Scratch that—who am I?

“Hi!”

Padme jumped, then turned to see a little girl standing beside the bed—presumably the girl whose room she was in.

“I’m Leia! I’m four and a half! This is my bedroom, but you can sleep in here if you want to!” The dark-haired girl with way too much energy gleefully introduced herself. “Sometimes my friends sleep over. That’s my dog Lola and this is my doll Winter! Do you have a doll?”

“Uh,” Padme tried to focus her thoughts. “I don’t think so.”

“Daddy! The pretty lady woke up!” Leia called.

Padme sat up against the pillows, listening to the approaching footsteps. She looked up, her eyes meeting the most gorgeous pair of blue eyes she had ever seen.

God, he’s beautiful. She wasn’t sure of much in her life at this point, but of this, she was certain—she had never seen anyone so effortlessly, ruggedly beautiful in her life. Layered auburn hair, a neatly trimmed beard, an athletic physique—he looked like he could be on the cover of a romance novel.

Padme cleared her throat. “Where am I?”

“You’re okay.” That’s not fair—he’s beautiful and has that accent?? The man’s eyes crinkled endearingly at the corners. “You’re in our home. I’m Obi-Wan Kenobi, and this is my daughter Leia. How are you feeling?”

“Um . . . Kind of beat up?” Padme closed her eyes, massaging her temple.

“Don’t worry! My daddy’s a doctor!” Leia exclaimed.

Padme perked up. “He is?”

“A doctor for animals!”

“Uh, yes, I’m a veterinarian,” Obi-Wan clarified. “But the principles are pretty much the same. Do you mind if I take a quick look?”

“Not at all,” Padme replied.

Obi-Wan pulled out a small flashlight and crouched down, focusing on her eyes. “I’m going to check out your pupils. This may be a little bright, but I want to see how responsive they are.”

He shined the light in her eyes and Padme squinted. He wasn’t kidding about that light.

“I do have an MD coming as soon as she can, but all the roads are closed from the storm,” he told her.

“Storm?”

“Yes, there was a big storm.”

“Like a tornado?”

“No,” he replied, his voice gentle. “Like a snowstorm. Lots of snow.”

Obi-Wan turned off the light and set it back in the pocket of his flannel shirt. “The good news is your pupils are completely responsive now, no more signs of shock. You do have a mild concussion and a cut on your head—”

“Ah!” Padme exclaimed, touching the cut.

“Gentle, gentle,” he soothed, lightly touching her arm. “It’s alright, it’s nothing serious. All things considered, you’re actually doing pretty well.”

“Oh,” she murmured.

“Do you remember anything?” he asked.

Padme opened her mouth to respond, then closed it as she realized she couldn’t recall any of the events of last night—or most of her life, for that matter. “No,” she frowned. “Wait, how did I get here?”

“My son, Luke, and I, we found you wandering on the road . . . do you remember that?” Obi-Wan furrowed his brow. “You got in a truck, Luke told you all about the squirrel family living in our yard. Do you remember any of this?”

“No, none of it.”

“Can you tell me your name?” he asked.

“My name.” Surely I know that. But no matter how hard she thought, she couldn’t recall a name familiar enough to be hers. “Oh my god. I don’t know my name!”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Obi-Wan soothed, holding her arm. “It’s really important for you to try to stay calm right now. We’ll work with the situation, we’ll work with what we do know. Let’s rewind a bit—what do you remember from before we met you? Were you visiting someone? Were you driving and got into an accident, maybe?”

Padme shook her head slowly. “I don’t—I don’t remember any of it.”

“You’re going to be alright,” he reassured her. “And you have some nice pink pajamas, which is the most important thing.” His eyes crinkled.

“What?” Padme looked down, taking in the pink fleece ensemble she was wearing. “Who dressed me in this?”

“A family friend, Breha,” Obi-Wan replied.

“I helped—I found them for you!” An older boy entered the room carrying more clothes. “Because I want to be a doctor . . . or a writer . . . or maybe even a pilot!”

Obi-Wan chuckled. “This is my eldest son, Korkie.” He placed a hand on his son’s shoulder and turned back to Padme. “You're going to be just fine, I promise. Whenever you’re ready, just get dressed and come down and we’ll get you something to eat, hmm?”

“Okay,” Padme nodded.

“In the meantime, is there anything else we can do, anything else that you need?”

“ . . . I don’t remember what I need.”

Obi-Wan smiled softly. “That’s alright. We’ll be right downstairs if you do.”

A little while later, Padme went downstairs, following the happy chatter from the kitchen.

“Be careful, they’re a little hot,” Obi-Wan warned. “Make sure Luke gets some.”

“It’s very hot,” Leia told her twin brother. “You have to be careful.”

The family turned when they heard footsteps. “Hey!” Obi-Wan grinned, and Padme tried to ignore her heart flipping inside her chest.

“Hi!” the rest of the kids echoed. Padme waved back.

“Grab a plate and help yourself to whatever you want,” Obi-Wan told her. “We’ve got plenty of everything—and coffee, of course. How do you take yours?”

Padme furrowed her brow. “Um . . . I don’t know. Hot?”

Obi-Wan let out a small chuckle. “Good news, I’ve got hot coffee.” He poured her a cup, and Padme watched the muscles inside his arm flex as he did his task. “We’ll keep it black for now and if you want any cream or sugar, we can always add it in later.”

Luke dropped a fork on his plate. “Do you know your name yet?”

Padme flinched at the noise and sipped at her coffee. “No, not yet.”

“I know how to tie my shoe!” Leia announced. “Wanna see?”

“Oh, okay,” Padme nodded, setting down the mug.

Leia put her foot on the table and started tying the laces on her slippers.

“Leia!” Luke whined.

“On the counter, seriously?” Korkie added.

Obi-Wan shook his head and huffed out a laugh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “At least she’s wearing her slippers.”

Padme started patting her head, then inspecting her fingers. “It looks like my head isn’t bleeding anymore, that’s good. Maybe I’m ready to go . . .” She blinked, frowning. “Because I think I should find someone who knows who I am, you know?”

Obi-Wan cocked his head to the side, his bright blue eyes focused on hers.

“So I’m just gonna get going,” Padme said, running a hand through her hair.

"Are you sure? You hit your head pretty hard—you do have a mild concussion," Obi-Wan fretted.

"Yeah, but it's fine, so I'm just gonna . . . go and find that human doctor."

She walked backwards towards the door and opened it—only to be met with an avalanche of snow piled up at the door.

Obi-Wan crossed the room and stood beside her. "It snowed last night."

"Oh. Yeah, I can see." Padme gave the snow pile a dazed look. “Snow . . .”

“Lots of snow,” he told her, placing a gentle hand on her back. "Let's go back inside, yeah?"

"I mean, this has to be fixable, right? You can't just get . . . lost and no one finds you. Can you?" Padme paced in front of the fireplace as Obi-Wan and the kids nodded along.

"I have to have family or friends looking for me. Right?"

She moaned, flopping down on the couch next to Leia.

"Of course someone's looking for you," Obi-Wan said, turning to his children. "We're all smart people here, so why don't we brainstorm what we can figure out about you now, hm?"

"Yeah!" Korkie agreed, the twins nodding with him.

"Great! So . . . what do we know about you?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Nothing." Luke's shoulders slumped.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Luke, not helpful. And also not true! Korkie, go grab the chore board.”

Korkie sprung to his feet and went to get the white board the family used to divide the chores.

“We found you on the side of the road. So . . . what were you doing there?” Obi-Wan asked, stroking his beard. “You were . . . out for a walk.”

“In the snow?” Padme asked.

“We go for walks in the snow!” Leia added.

“But are you wearing four inch heel boots?” Padme countered.

“Maybe you’re a bank robber on the run and you’re only pretending to have amnesia long enough to find the money you stashed in the woods,” Luke theorized, getting more excited with each word.

Obi-Wan gave his younger son a deeply confused look. “I’m going to say you were out for a drive. I’ll go with that . . . Although, we didn’t see a car near you that night. Either way, Korkie, write down ‘car.’”

“Okay, Dad.” Korkie started to write.

“Wait, what about the clothes I was wearing?” Padme asked. “Because maybe the keys to that car are in the pockets, or maybe there’s some other clue to identify me.”

“I didn’t see anything in the pockets when we washed your clothes,” Korkie said. “And I checked them really carefully.”

“That’s alright, we’re figuring things out,” Obi-Wan continued.

“So what you’re basically saying is I’m here with no idea where I came from or where I was going, and no idea if somebody is looking for me, and all I have to my name are the clothes I was wearing last night, if I even have a name!” Padme moaned, putting her head into her hands.

Obi-Wan approached her. “Hey, hey. It’ll be alright. When you think about it, we have everything we need right here. We have wood for the fire to keep us warm, a cellar full of food—”

“And Lola to protect us!” Leia chimed in.

“And Lola to protect us,” Obi-Wan repeated. “Someone will come forward, I really believe that. And I’ll make as many phone calls as I can to spread the word. Everything will work itself out. I’m sure someone is looking for you right now”

Obi-Wan patted her knee, then went to make his calls. In the meantime, the children made a makeshift bed on the couch for Padme to rest, and she drifted off to the sound of Obi-Wan’s voice asking to file a “found person report.”

“Hello Padme.”

Mon leaned back in her office chair, holding her cellphone up to her ear.

“I’m sure by now you’ve settled into the chalet and are luxuriating in your solitude—and you’ve probably also found the spa.”

She laughed, highlighting a line in a report on her desk.

“Listen, darling, you don’t have to call me back right away, but do call me.”

Leia plonked down the stairs and back to the kitchen.

Obi-Wan looked up. “Is she coming down for dinner?”

Leia shook her head.

“Can I have her hot dog?” Luke asked.

Obi-Wan chuckled. “Sure you can,” he replied, placing the hot dog on his son’s plate.

“What are we going to do about her?” Korkie asked.

“Well, she’s lost and we need to help her find her way home,” Obi-Wan said. “It’s important to help those in need, including people we don’t know—especially at Christmas. Right?” He grinned at his daughter, who nodded enthusiastically.

“As soon as she figures out who she is, she’ll go back to where she’s from, and then everything around here will be,” his grin faltered. “Back to normal.”

After a moment, Leia spoke up.

“I like her! She reminds me of—”

“Shh!” Korkie shushed his baby sister.

Obi-Wan looked down—he hated that his oldest son felt the need to protect his father from the memory of his late mother, and while it’s true the memory of her clenched his heart less and less, there was still the lingering sense of loss.

But when Leia almost mentioned Satine, he noticed the loss was accompanied by something else this time—hope.

No-pressure tags: @obiknights @alabama-metal-man @cypanache @celestial-alignment @written-musings @vic3456 @heyhawtdawgs @saradika @your-dose-of-obidala

#obidala #obi wan x padme #obi wan kenobi #padme amidala #obi-wan kenobi x padme amidala #my fic #my writing

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caparrucia · 2 years

Note

Hello! If you’re willing, could we get a ship of your choice and #48 for the kiss and a ship ask?

…out of habit.

Titus is like clockwork: predictable and measurable and perfectly, spectacularly rational, thank you so much for noticing.

When... this - whatever the fuck this is, he's far too smart to even try to describe it, much less define it - happens, he assumes it will throw his lovingly calibrated routine into chaos. Instead, they consume it and make it their own.

Because of fucking course they do.

So now Titus wakes up at five on the dot, just like always, but rather than a redundant alarm clock he kept purely for paranoia's sake, he wakes up to the concert of low groans and miserable moans that crawl out of Regis the moment he so much as twitches. Aulea snickers, mean-spirited and shameless, and leans in to press her lips to the corner of Titus' mouth. Regis whines when she shoves him out of the way, and Titus is free then, to squirm out of the monstrously comfortable bed while she shuffles in to take his place as Regis' source of warmth. He doesn't think about the fact Aulea doesn't sleep - she's got lightning and justice trapped under her skin and her scars give out the barest glow in the dark and her eyes are blue right up until they're purple and then someone is dearly wishing she'd just kill them instead of making them repent - but he does notice the progress on the book by the nightstand, when he reaches out to grab his cane. If she's close to done he'll have to figure out a new one, and that'll take a few hours out of his day.

She reads slowly, ponderously. It took Titus entirely too long to realize it is because she's spent so long speaking to and for her god that Lucian became a second language. She does love her poetry though. The more obscure, morbid and wholly intractable, the better. Titus is retired, a decorated war hero. He's got a pension and everything. All the titles Regis has given him - he does not think about them, any of them, or what they might mean - come with little to no expectations or obligations for him to fulfill. His time is his own, and he is listed as optional in every meeting Regis invites him to listen in on, though he always allows Titus to say his piece if he wants, regardless of context or rank or audience. He doesn't have anything pressing to do, except keep existing, keep living this life he's somehow ended up living, out of inertia or habit or just pure dumb fucking luck.

Titus comes out of the bathroom an hour later: Before, when he didn't need the cane and he could shower standing up and his knee didn't cramp horribly if he took too long shaving, he'd been utilitarian, about his mornings. He'd shower and dress and be out and about in under twenty minutes, and the thought of lingering under hot water - of even using hot water - seemed like a waste of time. But that was Before, and this is now. This is the life he has and he will live it as best he can, because all of the hateful fucking bastards who tried to kill him failed.

Sometimes, when he's sitting on the edge of the bathtub, digging his fingers into the corded knots of muscle above his knee, gritting his teeth and demanding the fucking thing stop spasming long enough for him to get his day started, Titus remembers the sight of Regis, kneeling at his feet. He remembers the way his throat went dry and his lips pulled back into a snarl, and he remembers the words. Upon this knee rests the entirety of this kingdom, he'd said. Because Regis just... said things. Specially when he meant them. The kingdom is fucked, then, Titus hadn't said then. He still hadn't now, even though he entertained the thought sometimes, when the pain broke through the usual thresholds and he needed to sit down and pay attention to it, and only to it. Like the entirety of Titus' world was sequestered behind his misaligned patella.

(And some mornings, very rarely, the pain will throb, twisting like a red hot iron curling through his thigh and into his hip, and he'll make a sound. A tiny, cursed, miserable sound, and then they'll be there. They'll be there. Aulea with a wrist for him to bite into, to muffle the scream into, and Regis with his hands glowing green, magic forcing its way in, useless and desperate anyway. It's the strength of Regis' fingers digging in that coaxes muscles back in place, not his magic. He cannot magic a new knee for Titus, even if in the peak of delirium, Titus would let him even try. Those mornings meetings and audiences are rescheduled, and Titus thinks it's so stupid, an entire country held hostage by his fucking knee. But Regis did warn him, he supposes. That's the thing about Regis, the impossible, infuriating thing: Regis doesn't lie. He's so good he doesn't have to.)

Most mornings, he manages without trouble, and by the time he's mostly assembled into a semblance of passable humanity, Regis is awake enough to look smug. He always looks smug, here in his personal quarters. He's personable and affable and kind and generally well-loved, outside his own rooms. He's a good King, after all. In Lucis, far and wide, people do not starve. People do not die to the elements or monsters or even war. Regis is the King who brought peace to his people and when the time came, fought to defend it. None of that, Titus thinks, is a mask, either. He is sincerely what he is, and that is in part why he's so good at forcing people to meet him halfway. Even his enemies respect him, and his followers revere him.

Even the revelation of his magic, the depths of his power, did not destroy him. He didn't have to do anything about it, they all wrote it off for him. Just like that.

But here, in private, when there's only him and his wife and Titus - Titus has a title that he dares not think about, because titles carry meanings and he's too smart for that, at his age - he is smug. In ancient times, the worship of Bahamut was widespread and the Kings of the Crystal were often called the Dragon Kings. Regis is smug in a way that makes Titus shiver. He stands in the doorway, taking in the scene: the King, lying on his side, disheveled and shameless with it, hair unkempt, beard a mess, with bruises and bites and scars on display, looking at him with half-lidded green eyes like the world's smuggest dragon sitting atop the world's most precious hoard.

Titus wants to stab him. Again. Possibly kiss him. It's insane. Inane! He is nearly fifty fucking years old. Regis is nearly fifty fucking years old. Aulea is barely a year younger than Regis, for all she's been frozen in lightning and judgment, for all her eyes give away her true age. Together there's almost a century and a half worth of history in that bed, they cannot keep pretending to be children, fumbling about feelings and nonsense.

And yet, when Regis offers a hand, Titus walks back into the room and takes it.

And yet, when Aulea slithers to his side, pressing her lips to his and steals the kiss Regis had been aiming to, the same way she does every morning, Titus does not do the smart, sensible thing. He does not run when Regis laughs and pulls him down and kisses him, like he's staking a claim.

Upon this knee rests the entirety of my kingdom.

"What shall we do today, love?" Regis asks them, both of them, and Titus should run, should scream, should flee before they cost him something far dearer than a knee.

"I don't know," he says, instead, the same thing he says every morning - every morning he's not buried under Regis' bulk, held in place and smothered in them, like they can somehow excise the agony away, occupy too much space and leave it with nowhere to go but away - leaning on his cane and looking carefully unamused. "Some treason before noon, I suppose."

It's a stale joke, by then. It should have run its course, like a shattered wheel, all jagged edges and bleeding shards. Instead, Regis laughs, every morning, that same little, breathless laugh. Aulea rolls her eyes and smiles, and Titus swears, just for a moment, the perpetual clouds above the Citadel part, ever so slightly, when she does. It's almost like Regis can read the words Titus does not say, cannot bring himself to say, every time he says that. Every morning. On the dot. The same stale joke.

I love you.

"Well," Regis laughs, shuffling out of bed at long last, pressing a kiss to the corner of Titus' mouth, opposite to Aulea's earlier one, which Titus can't tell if he means to or not, and he refuses to dwell on it much. "Can't betray the King if he's not there to be betrayed, I suppose."

Titus is nearly fifty fucking years old. He survived Mors Lucis Caelum and what Insomnia became after he did the world a favor and died. He survived the war. He survived Cor Leonis and his infinite fountain of bullshit. He's too old and too jaded and too himself for it, but every morning, on the dot, Regis kisses him in passing and promises to put up a good show. And despite it all, despite himself and Aulea's snickering and the fact he'll never live it down: Titus smiles even as his face heats up, because somehow, he'll survive them another day.

Fuck it, he's going to make them survive him.

#rie answers #sleepingamaryllis #titus drautos #regis lucis caelum #aulea lucis caelum #the ot3 #i love them your honor #they're great #i fucking love puppy titus #you don't understand #he's my favorite

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