#competence

[goodgrammaritan]

I never used to find competence so arousing. Probably because there’s so little of it in the world.

Paladin's Hope by T. Kingfisher

#t kingfisher #paladin's hope #book quotes #competence #sapiosexual

[stoicmike]

Competence is being able to deal with most of the situations that arise under normal circumstances. -- Michael Lipsey

#competence #situations #circumstances

[savagechickens]

Impostor. 

And more competence.

#incompetence #competence #impostor #impostor syndrome #work #skill

[conscious-love]

Strengthen the individual. Start with yourself. Take care of yourself. Define who you are. Refine your personality.

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson

#Dr Jordan B Peterson #Jordan B Peterson #Jordan Peterson #personal growth #personal development #inner work #self help #self care #personal responsibility #personal accountability #strength #self respect #competence #success #be the change #changing the world #activism #quotes

[palatinewolfsblog]

The Outrage (for my dear Friend @kittyalicecute ) ... Remember: "A well-read woman is a dangerous Creature." Eleanor Roosevelt.

#quote of the day #quote of today #eleanor roosevelt #hope #woman #woman's issues #reading #danger #competence #creature #education #empowerment #emancipation #enlightenment #literature #learning #information #dare to think #sapere aude #think #think about it

[aunti-christ-ine]

#editorial cartoons #clay jones #claytoonz #tRUmp #mental #competence #political cartoon

[lerry-hazel]

Actually Castiel-centric?

Mostly ranting, since there are probably just the five I’ve already read,

but do you know any good readable fics where Castiel is depicted as a Heavenly Warrior with millennia of experience, rather than a painfully naïve puppy that can’t go do his business outside without the Winchesters’ approval?

Fics where Castiel believes he’s doing the right thing but fails spectacularly because he should have listened to the Winchesters instead fall under the latter category – even and especially if they are canon-compliant :-(

#supernatural #fanfiction #not mine #obviously #fic recs #castiel #bamf!castiel #competence #no destiel

[digitalfootprintdiary]

I have 2 kinds of vents I do and one is blurting nonsensical jibberish like a brain itch/urge and the other is talking about deep emotional wounds

#saying random phrases like “bing bong” out loud or it physically feels like my brain needs to sneeze #growing up #moving away #siblings #parents #childhood #competence #therapy

[datamodel-of-disaster]

Personal ramble; job stuff, thinking about how everything in life takes patience and practice and positive thinking and I fucking hate that shit. No triggers except my naturally pessimist ass being a bit whiny.

I hate my job, sometimes. Specifically, I hate that I don't feel competent at it.

I dream of working in a function where I know perfectly what is expected of me and I have the exact knowledge and skillset required to do just that. No terrified adhd paralysis where I don't know how to tackle stuff so I procrastinate forever, no feeling like an idiot when I don't already know things, no selling a bunch of hot air while flailing about trying to keep up appearances in fear of getting fired. None of that.

Just... Competence.

If I truly let my dreams get unrealistic, I might want to be excellent at something. The go-to man. The one guy in the office who knows how to do or fix the thing. But really. Not having to hang on by the skin of my teeth to cover my ass would already make any job The Best Job.

...

The truth is, I'm not actually that bad at my job. Or at least, not bad enough that people are unhappy with my work. I'm just... Still learning. So I often have to look for extra info, ask for help, or semi-targetedly try things until something sticks.

And boy do I hate it.

I hate that competence is not instant, that it's not something you uncover fully formed within yourself by doing the "right" job, but rather something you develop through experience and learning.

I hate that the need for food and housing forces me to do deeply uncomfortable and stressful stuff like doing things I don't already know how to do and problem-solving through trial and error.

I HATE IT.

If my job was a hobby I would have quit it a thousand times already. Alas.

...

Competence, as with most things in this cruel scam of an existence, all comes down to persistent practice and positive thinking. Which... is infuriating.

*cue the whiny voice* Why can't I just be good at something already and get paid doing that so I never have to feel anxious and uncomfortable and stupid?

...

I wish I had a hopeful closing line to this diatribe. But I don't. I don't want to hang in there until I magically, mysteriously improve and start feeling competent. I just want to give up, but I have too many bills to do that.

So here I am, hanging in there. Fuck me, amiright?

#disaster thoughts #adhd life #competence #feeling competent #skill development #growth mindset #practice #learning is hard #life is hard #everything is hard

[mbti-notes]

Hi mbti notes, I'm INFJ and I hope it's okay if I share my problem here.

My nagging fear of appearing as unskilled/incompetent stops me from being honest with people and taking decisive actions. That is why I always try to learn as many new things as I can, but my anxiety doesn't go away. Whenever I have a chance to make things better, I feel like I'm not ready yet, I can't handle it yet, I need more time to prepare, etc. etc. I delay this decision for better time, but this better time never comes. What makes this problem even more complicated is that people in my surrounding overestimate my smarts. It seems that I convinced everyone that I`m capable and can be trusted with important tasks but I'm still not sure whether it's true. I feel like the skills/knowledge I have are never enough, so what should I take into account and what should I work on to get rid of that fear and make positive changes?

You name the problem as "fear of appearing incompetent". Thus, you concluded that you had to learn more or be more skilled to solve the problem. Yet, no matter what you learn or how you prepare, your fear never goes away. Why?

1) Unhealthy Ni: You live in your own little bubble of unrealistic beliefs. You believe that it's possible to be so competent that you'll never ever feel incompetent again. Striving for impossible ideals ends up exacerbating your fear because you are constantly reminded of how you fall short of perfection, which triggers feelings of low self-worth.

2) Unhealthy Fe: You fear looking bad in front of others, so you try to figure out how to get affirmation. Somehow, you came to believe that a worthy person must be "competent" and/or "decisive", so you've tried to turn yourself into such a person. This means your motive for learning doesn't come from a pure or noble place; you don't genuinely love and value learning in itself. Getting validated for shallow attempts to appear competent only serves to reveal the falseness of the self-image you're trying to construct, which triggers feelings of low self-worth.

3) Unhealthy Ti: Instead of facing up to the truth of yourself, you hide the truth of who you are behind a mask. You manipulate people's perception of you as a means to get ahead of any potentially negative judgments and criticisms. In the end, however, you cannot escape criticism of yourself. You can't help but feel like an imposter because the fact is that you are one, which triggers feelings of low self-worth.

4) Unhealthy Se: In the end, you have trapped yourself in a lie, but you can't give up the lie, because the alternative is to face reality. The reality is that you are but a human being with limited mental resources, so you cannot be prepared for every possibility or make perfect decisions like an omniscient being. Instead of having faith, nurturing adaptability, and accepting yourself for who you are, you overreact, overthink, and micromanage yourself into a corner, often feeling stuck and incompetent, which triggers feelings of low self-worth.

Excessive/irrational fear is an emotional problem. One of the most important aspects of improving your emotional intelligence is to stop treating your feelings and emotions as the enemy. Feeling afraid threatens the ego, so you label fear as a "problem" and try to get rid of it. You end up in self-sabotage because you have missed the point. Fear exists for a reason.

You're asking the wrong question. You're asking how to get rid of fear when you should be asking where your fear comes from, to get to the bottom of it. The way through fear is to confront it head on. Why, exactly, are you so afraid to appear incompetent in front of people? Why don't you believe that you have the right to be who you are and make whatever decisions you want at whatever speed you want? Why do you self-harm trying to twist yourself into some unhealthy image of perfect "competence"?

Therapy might be a good idea. You seem to suffer deeper problems related to low self-worth, low self-esteem, self-loathing, or shame. You overcompensate by trying to fool everyone into thinking you are skilled instead of figuring out why you have low self-worth to begin with. When you come to understand your true worth, you won't be afraid of appearing incompetent in front of others because: 1) you would have realistic expectations of yourself, and 2) you would embrace mistakes and failures as necessary for learning and growth.

Have you read the study guides and researched past posts, because low self-worth is a common INFJ problem that has been discussed before? If not, you've got some studying to do. To address negative emotions properly, you have to listen to them and understand them. This requires empathy and compassion - two things you do not offer to yourself. When you don't have empathy and compassion for yourself, you'll never truly know yourself. It's very difficult to learn and grow when shame keeps the real you locked away in a dark cage.

#infj #ti loop #indecision #self worth #shame #fear #anxiety #social anxiety #self compassion #competence #self confidence #emotional intelligence #ask

[stoicmike]

We are almost pathetically grateful for competence when we encounter it. -- Michael Lipsey

#competence #something rare #diminishing

[savagechickens]

Got Ambition.

And more ambition.

#ambition #incompetence #competence #work #goals

[necarion]

* Followup note for my post on Aeronaut's Windlass, because I want to keep that one positive:

"Competent where they're supposed to be competent" is a thing that I have started screening for in fiction. I don't need everybody to be good at all things, or even many things. Characters being bad at stuff is fun and allows personal growth.

But so much fiction has characters set in a professional role as X and then shown to be incompetent in the core features of X. This may be realistic (not all people are good at their jobs) but if so, don't spend time telling me how good this person is at their job. As some examples:

A character who is billed as a good soldier, but is thrown into a situation they weren't prepared for. Maybe they'll snap at their comrades, or make bad calls, or screw up. But you're going to expect them to have a basic level of physical fitness and training, and you damn well expect them to be able to have basic marksmanship and survival skills.

A spaceship engineer may not be able to decipher an alien spacecraft or fix every single problem on the ship single-handedly, but you expect them to know the basics of tool use and how to fix stuff. (This one films generally do right, because of reliance on technobabble to solve plots, and because nobody knows how starship warp drives work so why not). But if they're bringing dangerous objects into the engine room, or, like, eating in there, I'm going to yell at them and so should everyone else. Not all engineers observe OSHA regulations, but if they rely on the engines, they're going to take basic precautions there.

A commander (who didn't get the job through nepotism, i.e. one who is admired) should be expected to keep a cool head during a crisis (or at least not be shown losing it in front of the crew) and should have a basic understanding of interpersonal squabbles.

A good story should play to a character's weaknesses, but allow her to succeed at her strengths. In a good ensemble show, the characters will take turns being strong and good at their jobs. Sometimes this is legitimately hard for a writer to write because it isn't clear what "good at a job" means in a lot of fiction. But you can also sort of excuse getting this wrong from a writer who doesn't understand a skillset.

Where it fails is when a writer uses "failing at tasks" as an excuse for plot-motion. And more, it fails when people use "lack of professionalism" as a source of cheap drama. This is my biggest pet peeve (god I hate this):

Professionals (people who are billed as being qualified and competent in their day jobs) in a life-or-death (or other stressful and attention-needing) situation should not start bickering over romantic or other petty issues, if the situation needs 100% of their attention.

#literature #criticism #competence #this is why I cannot stand lower decks

[settlercolonialismisbad]

Someone just said, and I’m paraphrasing, “competence is only missed in its absence.“ And wow I was just struck by what a true statement that is.

#thinking thoughts #competence #i felt that

[brainrockets]

Big fan of the "hears for the first time" genre of videos and love to see master artists do their thing. So I fell down a small rabbit hole of drummers hearing songs for the first time and making their own drum part. So cool.

And the two methods are just absolutely different and very cool.

#competence #drummers #linkin park #the killers #megadeth #Jonathan “sugarfoot” moffett #dirk verbeuren #drumeo #youtube