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#clark: hi bruce !
frownyalfred · 4 months
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Dick is probably the nicest civilian ever when he’s in Bludhaven and all the little old ladies who bring him baked goods and his coworkers at the station have no idea he spends the night beating criminals half to death with his escrima sticks, has the kind of insane family & family loyalty you can’t buy, and would have the entire Justice League at his side with just one phone call.
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ditzybat · 1 month
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tim with a knife in his hands: damian, step away from the computer
damian reading superbat fanfiction on tim’s personal laptop: i wanted to play roblox, but this is adequate writing, are you in need of a beta reader by chance?
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bbbbbbbbatman · 6 months
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Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."
why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.
a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?
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adreamfromnevermore · 1 month
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AU Where the Justice League forms as usual except for one slight difference where Bruce just so happens to have been the one superheroing for the longest. (Excluding Diana, who got up to it in World War 1 and then mostly didn't while she learned about Man's World)
Bruce helps form the Justice League, ignoring all of the comments as they come to the sudden realization that Gotham's baby cryptid story is actually a man in a very intimidating armored suit who can and will break your arm if you cause problems for him. They are unaware that this is not the first team he's led, and actually he's used to teams full of mostly teenagers who also happen to be his children. This should be easier, this team is primarily adults.
He realizes rapidly that he doesn't understand these people.
His kids take bonding activities to mean learning a dozen different ways to break someones leg. That doesn't fly with these people. And that is most of Bruce's ideas, hell when he was a kid Alfred took every opportunity to get him out of his room and mostly that was with the agreement that Alfred would teach him how to defend himself. He's come by it honestly.
This team is not easier. They have more drama than when his house was actually full of kids. It's insane. He doesn't know what to do with it, usually he just sent the kids to their rooms or grounded them from patrol. That doesn't work here.
He comes to a strange crossroads. That falls apart when he forgets who he's working with and snaps at Hal with a full room of heroes that the next person to throw a punch or an insult without a reason too will be sparring with him.
A long standing rule in the batcave that worked two fold to prevent infighting between the kids and too ensure that they were well and truly trained.
It works wonders. No one says a word out of line for the rest of the debrief. Bruce becomes the unofficial mediator of the league over Clark because anytime he walked in on a fight it suddenly became 10 times more civil out of sheer terror of what he'd do to them in a sparring match.
Eventually they actually meet his kids. Well, one kid.
Half way through a mission (one of the rare ones in Gotham) the Bat comes to a complete stop at the edge of an alley. Every single league member on the team comes to a stop behind him. Slowly from the shadows of the alley a man in a red helmet stalks out to greet them.
"You don't call, you don't write"
"Red Hood."
"Don't Red Hood me! We've been worried sick!"
"I was at the cave last night."
"You didn't answer my texts B. You always answer my texts."
Somehow it ends with big and scary following them through the rest of the mission with a running commentary of how much Bats has let him down in his failure to respond in a timely manner to a text send less than an hour before he ran into them in the alley. It only ends when Red Robin shows up.
And even then it only ends because Hood can't keep himself from throwing a punch and Bruce has to snap at him that if he throws another one they're sparring when they get home.
And by god is Jason giving up the chance to punch his brothers.
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trashmakerarticle · 6 months
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Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.
Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?
Dick: obviously it’s me?
Tim: it’s dick
Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.
Bruce: it’s Jason
Everyone: WHAT?!?!???
Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week
*everyone looks at dick*
Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school
*everyone looks at tim*
Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him
*everyone looks at Damian*
Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy
Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away
Bruce: my precious little boy
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abisalli · 1 year
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bring your kid to work day 
★bonus:  he’s impressed 
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soupinaboot · 2 months
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In my opinion, Bruce should be above average height or at least average. But since he surrounds himself with demi-gods, aliens, meta humans, etc, he's just dwarfed next to them. Like maybe about 6'1 or 6'2, but that's NOTHING compared to Diana '7'3 feet tall' Prince. Or Clark '6'9' Kent.
All the tabloids claim he has to be at least 5 feet tall because the only photos they can get of him are when he's next to his giant ass friends.
It is also my personal headcannon that all the robins stay shorter than him, except Jason, who should be at least 4 inches taller.
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astorianyxkings · 6 months
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There's always people theorizing how the Batfamily hides Jason disappearance and reappearance, but I literally haven't seen anyone use the best explanation: Witness Protection.
Like this literally answers every question. The Death Certificate? They had to fake his death. The empty grave? Obviously it had to be believable. The time when Wayne Heir "Richie Wayne" refused to step foot in Gotham and talk to his father? He was pissed about Jason's (non) death. Brucie Wayne's very real depression after his death? Well he lost contact with his son and he was under immense stress from the government.
Like this literally answers every question I can come up with. Why has no one said he was in witness protection? And if people have done it, send me fics and prompts because I'm obsessed.
And the best part is, the Waynes are so stupidly rich that they could pull it off. Lex Luther could try and conduct his own investigation but somehow he can never find anything concrete. And if he gets too close either Babs hacks them or Tim just calls up Conner for a distraction.
One time Jason gets cornered and asked how he felt about returning to his life after being in Witness Protection. Unfortunately, him and Bruce weren't on the best terms to explain the whole story but he comes in clutch. He spins the tale about how heartbroken he was to see his brother, father and grandfather grieving and how honored he was when he learnt his new little brother idolized him. Tim got ahold of a copy of the interview and will never let Jason live it down.
The media doesn't ask Bruce questions about Jason's death because last time they did he broke down and a suddenly furious reporter chastised them and reminded them that while Jason may be alive Bruce still mourned his death. The picture of Bruce in tears at the interview is currently one of Jason's favourite lockscreens.
Same goes for Dick. Any questions of his brother's death results in (1) Richie Wayne ready to throw hands at any and everybody, (2) his wife (well one of them) Barbara Gordon threatening the reporters or (3) That same Metropolis reporter chastising the whole community again.
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byeonggyul · 4 months
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nerdpoe · 9 months
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Danny has an Ice Core.
He isn't aware of it, but this does, in fact, greatly influence how his ghost form looks as he grows up.
His appearance starts getting more rugged, eyes a paler, more piercing green, hair a bit more uncontrollable and wild.
He packs muscle easily, even in human form.
When in ghost form, he has an aura of something patient and dangerous, and that sense only grows the older he gets.
Basically, our boy starts to look like a viking.
No matter how goofy and bumbling he really is, his first impression is always a horrifying moment for whoever is meeting him.
And as his ghost form grows with his human form, he outgrows his hazmat outfit. Frostbite and the Far Frozen fashion him some new clothes-which only compliment and play off of the viking aesthetic he's got going on.
And with the height he inherited from his father?
Our man is a very, very intimidating figure to look at. More so than Dan; because while Dan was dangerous and scary, he was all energy and lightning and rage.
Adult Danny comes across as lethal and terrifying, all ice and persistence and that final, terrible silence before you realize you've already died.
Dan felt like the warrior in front of you. Danny feels like the wilderness in winter, vast and unforgiving.
Anyways, when a summoning for Klarion goes horribly wrong and Danny gets called instead, the Justice League has a moment where they're convinced they've summoned something much, much worse than Klarion.
And Danny, standing there completely confused, is not helping by remaining silent and still while staring John Constantine in the eye.
Good news, the bad guys are also very concerned about the weird ghost viking and are actually moving to stand side by side with the Justice League on this.
Bad news, who the fuck is this guy?
"...Fuck," is all Constantine whispers, backing away slowly.
@simplestoryteller
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superbat-love · 4 months
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Bruce: Commissioner Gordon, I wasn’t expecting a visit this late.
Gordon: My apologies, Bruce, there are some things that I need to talk to you about regarding the Wilson case.
Bruce: No apologies needed, Commissioner. Please, have a seat. Would you like a cup of tea?
Gordon: Tea would be-
Bruce: ?
Gordon:
Bruce: Commissioner?
Gordon:
Bruce: Commissioner Gordon, is everything all right?
Gordon: Bruce, there’s a- there’s a ghost floating down your hallway…
Bruce: [turns to see a sleeping Clark floating horizontally out of his bedroom, wrapped up in his blanket]
Bruce: Oh, that’s just my great-great-granduncle Tom. He’s always haunting this hallway on Thursdays. It’s his weekly chess game, and he never got over that one loss. Poor Uncle Tom…
Gordon:
Bruce: Alfred, why don’t you go and see if Uncle Tom can be persuaded to haunt another hallway instead?
Alfred: Right away, Master Bruce.
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frownyalfred · 2 months
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my favorite thing in Justice League fics is when a character fucks up so badly that their only option is to go talk to Batman. And they still — still — take a moment to figure out how desperate they are before going.
Bruce has such “don’t bother me, I’m working, also why the hell would you do that” disapproving dad energy. It’s stunning.
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mild-and-hammered · 1 month
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So, I know the fandom (myself very included) love to talk about JLA playing fuck marry kill with Brucie Wayne as an option...but I offer an alternative. Bruce overhears a conversation between Clark, Diana, and Hal.
Clark: No I mean if we're playing, I'd fuck you Diana, obviously it would be a wonderful night--
Diana: and all the way into the morning, obviously
Clark: Obviously. And I'd marry Batman, so sorry Hal, I guess you gotta go.
Hal, outraged: Marry Bats???? Over Me???
Clark: Yeah, hello, have you seen him? No offense and all, but if you get the chance to sleep with wonder woman you kinda have to. And if I marry Batman I get sweet gadgets, nerdy banter, awful coffee, and I get to use the little ears on the cowl as handles while I bend him over the breakfast table every morning.
(plot twist, Clark totally knows Batman's there and this is his extremely weird and roundabout way of flirting)
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bbbbbbbbatman · 6 months
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Bruce and Clark start dating and Clark finds himself spending more time around the batkids and whenever he's losing an argument he just says "yeah? well I fucked your dad."
It's very effective.
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sisaloofafump · 2 months
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In case it seems like every third comic has Batman in it... you're not wrong. He's been in 38.6% of DC issues since 2020, with a stark increase of 8% each decade since the 90s and surpassing Superman in popularity. Despite this, there's been a massive drop off of comics where he is teamed up with Superman or a Robin (although the amount of group team ups between Batman Family members has increased, as well as Nightwing solos).
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betterthanbatman1 · 7 months
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HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS BEFORE
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