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letters-of-libertas · 28 days

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Energy to carry as a single childfree woman

Summary here

Be more self reliant

You dont have to do everything on your own but you need to be able to count on yourself because for the most part that's all you'll have even as you're around others.

Have more intent with actions

Time & energy is valuable. Where you pour these things into steer the course of your life. Give your time & energy to things that help you (and other likeminded women if you want). You dont have to analyse every action you take but occasionally check in with how/if the actions you're taking are helping to build a foundation for your life as a single childfree woman. Things like donating to female centric causes, improving yourself so you can give yourself (& other women) more, organising/engaging in female centric women only spaces - even if they're just online, goes a long way to set the scene. Even indulging in your hobbies. Dont waste your time on things that wont help you or your motives.

Be more resourceful

Contrary to popular belief this lifestyle isn't a walk in the park, there's a lot more you have to account for especially with a level of reduced support. Being able to adapt/improvise + think ahead to mitigate problems will serve you long term. Also generally building up your resources will make getting through hard times easier.

Living my truth > proving my truth

You dont need others stamp of approval to live this way - just get started ! Convincing others is a waste of time your actions (& results) will speak for you anyways.

Reduce giving benefit of doubt

I once saw a quote "giving others benefit of doubt has never benefitted me" and it rings so true. Giving people benefit of doubt rarely ever works in your favour, the red flags that are downplayed often come back to bite you when you least expect it so trust your instincts on matters. If something is off about something or someone; start backing up. Also pure naïvety is rare, people often know more than they let on so trust + act on your instincts on matters if something feels off.

Be proactive

Instead of just constantly reacting to everything around you; take action no matter how small, it'll pay off more than just outrage. Spend less time on social media reacting to the never ending evil of xys and spend more time building for yourself. Social media can be informative but it can also be an echo chamber that breeds reactionary politics which doesn't move things forward. Ik this is ironic because you're reading this on social media but I'm not saying get rid of it all, just reduce your time on it - particularly around reading & reacting to maIe evil. Focus on tangible things in your life you can control & build instead for yourself and womankind.

Invest in indifference

Taking everything to heart will hurt you. Constant anger/hatred to maIes & their bs is still centering them especially if all you do is react. I'm not saying completely ignore it as they target us & a level of awareness is important, but dont let these feelings consume you. Being indifferent will let you look at things at a face value & make more levelled judgement. It helped my mental health a lot in regards to the climate to grow indifferent, this includes towards maIe identified women and even other types of discrimination like racists, ableists, etc. All theory around maIe violence essentially boils down to them being dangerous parasitic terrorists to not be trusted. I move with this & go. I see through them, I dont argue or waste unnecessary emotional energy on them, I dont care for them to understand me, I dont care to prove them wrong (bc in the end it wont matter all you do is give them more cards to play with; this system isnt erected through logic but violence), I have other stuff in my life to focus on. I cant help the way the world is I can only focus on myself & my actions. Typically the best comebacks arise when you dont give a shit. It wont happen in a day but learn to manage your feelings. Be indifferent to what you cant control, flower what you can control. These comments from the female separatist subreddit explain this well.

Learn to prioritise

Contrary to popular belief we can't have it all. Some are able to do so because they've got wives or staff covering sectors of their lives so they can pour more time into other aspects of their lives like business or leisure. But you wont have that privilege rn so some things will have to take a hit. This is also why you need to be selfish with your time. Things like being resourceful to automate/delegate tasks will buy you time but it's still important to be selfish with your time because as you put time in one area, another area loses time. You need to pick what matters. You cannot give your time away to everyone; make time for yourself & your objectives.

Less theory more action

Having a basis of theory/belief is a good place to start but dont get stuck there.

It's okay to be wrong

Mistakes will be made. Experience is how we learn and grow. Go about your business unabashedly.

Obviously not an exhaustive list but these are some main points that come to mind.

#female separatist #female separatism #wgtow #blackpill feminism #wineauntmovement #many tend to shy away from the single childfree lifestyle bc the traditional map/railguards aren't there but thats the fun part of it #wine aunt #childfree

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aeon-borealis · 2 months

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Dumb AleHeather Related Rambles

I play with the idea of "Dumbass is jealous of/has a goofy rivalry with their S/O's cat" for Serirei (Serizawa X Reigen), but I just can't do it with AleHeather. It'd be in-character for them. It'd be so petty and fall so perfectly in place with what kind of writing better Total Drama has. Hell, if I got to work on an older TD cast special, I'd sooo want to storyboard whatever Looney Tunes antics someone brewed up for Alejandro and Bruiser.

But I'm not strict canon compliant for AleHeather. I can, will, and have broken what's "in character" to get more sincere, fluffy moments than I'd get otherwise. That includes both Alejandro and Heather being cat persons. And Alejandro loves Bruiser as much as Heather does because that's wholesome as fuck to me.

I've also been sold on Alejandro and Heather both being HUGE fans of puppetry and that being the nerdy interest they both sync on. I want to do more research because if there's a scene with more of Alejandro's room, there's gonna be more than just the Jim Henson poster or references to The Muppets.

I vaguely remember establishing Alejandro as a Star Wars fan in a fan fic too. I'm not 100% sold on that one any more. It's more because I've never been that into it and I'd have trouble selling a character's enthusiasm on it.

I made some fanart with a hypothetical AleHeather fankid back in high school. She never had a concrete design or personality. The only given was that her name was Alejandra Heather Burromuerto.

By this point, I'm not keen on revising this character or doing anything further because it's important to me to have solid, meaningful childfree rep. I'm on the fence myself, but I feel like deliberately childfree characters with rich, interesting lives outside of kids is woefully under-explored in media at large. To me, its very believable that Alejandro and Heather could be childfree by choice as adults. I definitely want to write/draw content for late 20's-early 30's AleHeather. I don't have any solid ideas or directions other than that drabble I posted a couple months ago about depressed Alejandro.

Writing for them at that phase of life hits a bit too close to home. That's why it's so hard for me. By the reboot standards, they're the same age as me! It was one thing to write for them as a teenager. Hell, a few people told me my writing for Alejandro was spot-on ten years ago. By now, though, I don't want just the angst-fest and I don't have patience for the soap opera theatrics with no real payoff. I honestly want to flesh out and do more with them figuring out a healthy, meaningful dynamic. That's more of what I'm aiming for with my in-progress fan comic (once I actually get back to it. Going through some shit right now and its been hard to drum up motivation again).

#aleheather #alejandro x heather #tdwt alejandro and heather #total drama alejandro #total drama heather

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unclewaynemunson · 2 years

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Listen y’all the fruity four are gonna have a double wedding together sometime during the 90s you can’t change my mind

Robin is the one who jokingly suggests Steve and her should get platonic-married to each other. Steve thinks it’s an awesome idea and launches onto it in all seriousness, coming up with the idea of also having Nancy and Eddie marry each other to make it a double wedding.

To both their surprise, Nancy is on board immediately. Her motives are 1) getting to see Robin in either a wedding dress or a fancy suit; 2) the practical advantages like taxes and stuff (i don’t know anything about this shit so I won’t elaborate on this one); and 3) saying “fuck you” to the heteronormative patriarchy.

Eddie is very much opposed to it. He flat-out refuses at first, making a whole big speech about how they shouldn’t even want to give in to the rules of a society that only shuns them and about how backwards the whole concept of marriage is anyway. He calls it “the pinnacle of forced conforming” at some point, which Robin thinks is extremely pretentious and Steve thinks is extremely hot.

Nancy and Eddie love having heated political discussions that go largely over Steve’s and Robin’s heads, so she really doubles down on it and the two of them keep ranting to each other for months. Steve and Robin try another approach, which exists mainly of making ridiculous compromises about the classic wedding rules. It works pretty well, but as a result of it, the whole wedding becomes a completely absurd over-the-top mockery of traditional wedding ceremonies.

Eddie and Steve make a bet about what they have to wear. If Steve loses, he’ll have to wear his old Scoops Ahoy uniform; if Eddie loses, he’s gonna have to go all-out on a traditional white dress. Steve wins and nearly pees his pants laughing when Eddie walks into the ceremony in an all-white flowery mermaid dress with veil. Needless to say, Eddie does look gorgeous in it.

Nancy and Robin wear matching jumpsuits in which they look both gorgeous and fucking badass. They cry the whole day, though. They just can’t stop. It’s driving everyone crazy.

Their first dance is either to Damnit Janet or Hot Patootie (both from Rocky Horror) I’m still on the fence on this one lemme know what you think

Steve takes Robin’s last name and Eddie takes Nancy’s because both guys don’t exactly get a happy-family kind of feeling from their own last names. Eddie originally wanted all of them to change their names to Henderson, but it turned out that wasn’t legally possible :(

When same-sex marriage gets legalized, they again have a lot of discussions on whether they want to get divorced and marry their actual partners properly, or whether they wanna keep it this way for nostalgia’s sake and as a celebration of their friendship. Eddie throws in the third option of him marrying Robin and Steve marrying Nancy just for the sake of driving the others crazy. Eventually they do switch because Eddie and Steve have a whole bunch of adopted kids while Robin and Nancy are childfree (they are really cool aunts though)

Add your HC’s because I’m obsessed with this and need more <3

#sorry this got very long i got completely carried away here whoops #stranger things #fruity four #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #steddie #ronance #headcanons

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lyramundana · 9 months

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Ok, first of all, your chan analysis? Banger. Incredible. Perfectly said. Revolutionary. Marvelous.

But also I felt so happy to see that I'm not the only one who's *very* childfree but would give this man, and this man only, whichever amount of children he wanted. The desire I have to see this man as a dad, I truly feel he would be 110% in his element. I would combust spending the weekends watching his pure joy as he cares for his kids, completely his to take care of and dote on forever, the ones that literally need his care to live and the ones no one would ever be able to take away from him.

Sorry but I get a little unhinged thinking about domestic life with this loser of a man.

Ashdhdnhd thank you so much! ❤❤❤ The first paragraph got me so soft and giggly, like stupid. I don't even consider it an analysis, just some delulu thoughts of mine based on what I see in Christopher Bang. @whatudowhennooneseesyou has way cooler analysis. I strongly recommend you to visit her and take a look.

Of course you're not the only one, sweetie. Christopher Bang makes everyone considerate parenthood. He carries a certain aura on him that makes you want to birth this man's babies and give him a whole army if he desires, regardless if you like children or not. I think most of it is born of our desire to be bred by him and filled with his seed. That's my case at leasts.

I agree he'll be an awesome dad and this role has been made for him. He adores his children, sure, but there's also other reasons he wants to be a father so much. After all, these babies are a living proof of his claim over his partner. His breeding kink is motivated mostly by his possessiveness and urge to control. He knows having a baby undeniably ties two people together in a visceral manner. He loves his children mostly because they're extensions of his partner and also himself. They're completely his. His flesh, his blood, these little humans he created. The wolf in him purrs in delight at the thought.

With this, I meant Christopher Bang would be the most likely to baby-trap his partner in order to keep tied to him. He wants to be a father, but he also loves the dark aspect of it. Part of his adoration for the children is because they're a physical manifestation of his love for his partner and solid chains that keeps her by his side.

His possessiveness would, of course, pass unto his babies too. Since they've been born out of his lover's body, after he impregnated her, he treats them in very similar to his partner.

In short, Christopher Bang can fill me with his babies all the times he wants and I'll gladly give up on my feminism sentiment to be a good little mother for him the rest of my life.

#i love you your rambling turned slightly unhinged progessively #of course i had to follow it #but yeah Chris would see his children as extensions of his partner too #and so he'll be territorial over them too #but he absolutely enjoys having these tiny humans he created depend entirely of him #bang chan x reader #skz scenarios #requested #skz thoughts #bang chan thoughts

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laufire · 5 months

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some thoughts on wonder woman #3

I've seen some speculation about whether the reveal that Emelie (the Amazon that started the conflict by attacking some men, resulting in their deaths -motives and reasons unknown) is pregnant, timed just right to insinuate that Diana's future daughter is Emelie's biological child, might be a fakeout.

it's just issue number 3 and I get the impression that King likes a long build-up, so it's very possible. I'd prefer if it wasn't, because the only thing I like even less than the fact that they made Diana a mother (WHY CAN'T US CHILDFREE WOMEN HAVE THIS ONE (1) THING), is the idea of Diana going through a pregnancy LOL (AFAIC Diana doesn't even have a functioning womb, okay??).

but just as I was thinking about this, and specifically about how Emelie's pregnancy could be the result of some reproductive of horror (non-consensual experimentation etc.), I had the idea... what if Emelie is pregnant, but the child is, biologically speaking, DIana's? as in, created using her DNA, somehow? (probably alongside the DNA of one of the awful men that play the part of antagonists in this arc...).

especially looking at this panel, with the sovereign's voiceover to Lizzie:

there's just... something so smug, about how he speaks about this, and how he speaks to Lizzie in general that raises my alarm on this front, ngl. I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility here.

especially because the fact that Diana's daughter's whole existence is about the Supersons, so far (insert eyeroll here). so I do think that, for symmetry, they'd want her to be a biological child, to get a biological legacy trinity (insert another eyeroll). this theory would explain how they'd get there without having to deal with a pregnancy for Diana's character.

#talking to the void #reproductive horror #as a warning #tuesday spoilers #wonder woman #diana of themyscira #diana prince #lizzie prince #wonder woman vol. 6 #tom king #id in alt text #captioned

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sgcairo · 11 months

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Need Headcanons for Ivan! (l'm Childfree until it’s my baby lvan.)

Ohoho boy, I am so glad you asked because Ivan has been living in my head for a while now. And by a while I mean months, he's just a little grumpy guy that I love goofing around with.

For context (and those who are new here), Ivan is one of my many clone descendants (Danya's "cousin" by Irnes) and actually should appear soon in Telegraph, if I have my chapters straight... If you've ever wanted a grumpier and more angry wet cat energy version of Danya, you've come to the right place! He also happens to be a (future) general under Capitano, he's pretty good with the blade but not good enough to be a Harbinger (yet)!

So here we go, onto the Ivan headcanons!

-Ivan is surprisingly physically affectionate. He's not exactly cuddly, but if he likes you, he will find you, and he will stand by you awkwardly until you give him attention. As a child, he had the habit of hugging Irnes' leg and clinging to him like a little koala, which translated into bone-crushing hugs in his older years. While he's much more hesitant to dish those out, Danya is always there with an excited smile and open arms, which Ivan will never admit to enjoying hugs from his overexcited cousin. Never. You'd have to kill him.

-Baby Ivan was very quiet. Quiet to the point that Irnes freaked out and thought he was dead on several occasions, only to find that Ivan was just staring at him sleepily. The only time he cried was for the basics, otherwise Ivan was deathly silent, other than the happy giggles when Capitano would tickle him or Irnes would bring out the many accursed "toys" the segments made for Ivan. Those things definitely weren't baby safe, but hey, Ivan lived. Despite the many close calls, the segments were very proud of their work, to the point that Prime himself had to tell Irnes to get them to shut up.

-Child Ivan was also quiet, but not afraid to speak his mind. In fact, his speech was quite eloquent, even more formal than Danya's at the time, and that big brain of his could sustain conversation with Pierro, of all people. His ideas and opinions were definitely a lot more mature than they should've been at the ripe age of seven, but the Harbingers found it amusing that a seven year old had such strong and developed opinions on the "stupid experiments" Dottore was conducting- and the fact that he was proposing methods that might've been a bit fantastical, but definitely thought out.

-Ivan is generally cold to everyone, but Dottore- he hates Dottore with a burning passion. He loves his father, but Dottore presses all his buttons the wrong ways, and Ivan's quite sour about his abandonment of Danya, even if it's technically all in the past.

-Since Danya almost never gets angry, Ivan tends to be angry for him. The two don't usually come as a package deal, but when Ivan hears about a recruit being rude to Danya, or a foreign emissary overstepping and crossing the line, he'll put them in their place accordingly, and be in a bad mood for a while. That usually means he hacks up some training dummies, but he's been known to have a temper when Aurelio in particular is involved, especially after the accident with Danya's near death in Fontaine (that Aurelio was responsible for).

-Ivan also takes his role as the defender of his family quite seriously. He has two younger siblings, both which he adores, and he ensures that the court isn't making remarks about his father with force. In fact, part of the reason he's in the Snezhnayan military in the first place was his desire to protect his family, and keep them off the streets when times got rough. While yes, that did mean that he entered training at the age of thirteen, and fought on the battlefield for the first time at fourteen, the thought of ensuring his family's safety kept him going, and ultimately motivated him to climb the ranks.

-He's very close with Capitano and (begrudgingly) Tartaglia. Since he's a part of the infantry, and a general, he tends to follow Capitano more, but Tartaglia will show up to demand that they spar regularly, which Ivan has learned to reject. He's not eager to get blood on his freshly pressed uniform, please and thank you, and besides, he's got better things to do. Things like talk to Capitano about troop movements, and follow his senior around like a shadow. In fact, many of the Harbingers have taken to calling him "Capitano's lapdog", much to his disgruntlement, since it's rare to find Ivan without Capitano being nearby.

-Furthermore, on Capitano and Ivan's history: Ivan was originally promoted because he survived his first battle, and in an interesting manner. Ivan's panic at having a gun in his face manifested a vision, one that sliced all the surrounding enemies to ribbons in a mere second. It's not that visions are exactly rare in the Snezhnayan military, but seeing such a young boy, carrying one and looking grim like death itslef as he stood as the only surviving member of his platoon... Capitano's protective instincts kicked in more than he cares to admit, and he took the boy under his wing. He knows greatness when he sees it, and he wasn't exactly wrong.

-Capitano definitely pats his shoulder or back as a signal for Ivan to back down. Yes, Danya teases him for it. Ivan is conflicted.

-Ivan always stayed by Irnes as a child. Unlike Danya, he never really cared to explore the outside world, instead more than comfortable to sit in his father's lap and look at all the machinations and genius inventions that he designed. At one point, Ivan wanted to build ruin machines too, so he could be just like Irnes. He looked up to his father (and still does) more than he cares to admit, and holds him in high regard.

-Irnes was definitely a more gentle parent, especially with Ivan. The other two, he had to be a bit more firm with, but Ivan... He was always a cautious kid, and more often than not, he would come back to Irnes anyways after his "adventures" outside Dottore's lab. Ivan wasn't much of a talker, instead preferring to be more physical with his gestures, but he would always tell Irnes that he loved him whenever he thought about it, which made his dear old dad quite happy.

-Ivan has... mixed feelings when it comes to the Tsaritsa. He worships her, as she is his archon, and respects her power, but he's never been as close with her as Danya has. A part of him is jealous at how close his cousin is with Her Majesty, especially given how Irnes was also close with her, but another part of him knows better than to desire these things from his queen. The few times they have interacted on a less professional basis, she has always looked at him sadly, as if she knows something he doesn't.

Anyways, that's just a little peek at my thoughts regarding Ivan! Hopefully that made sense, because that's a lot of information to cram into one post...

#il dottore #dottore #il dottore's clones #genshin oc #genshin impact headcanons #fatui harbingers #fatui headcanons #genshin impact #ivan #irnes #capitano #danya #anastasiy #just me throwing a bunch of angry cat energy on this poor boy #i love him so much

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womenfrommars · 2 years

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As pro choice as I am, lets not forget that many first trimester abortions are directly motivated by poverty. Not by some kind of militant childfree mentality. Weirdos on tiktok celebrating their abortion with a cake and a party are a very vocal but tiny minority. Many of the women who have or plan to have an abortion wouldn't do it if they had more money, that's a fact that we shouldn't ignore. Society should support mothers financially. Conservative and most pro choice / liberals have this in common in this debate, they often don't acknowledge the bigger picture to serve their ideology. Abortion is very much tied to poverty. Women should have the choice, but I will never not be sad that a woman felt forced to have an abortion because of poverty. We should be able to offer her enough financial security so she can have her baby if she wants it.

I think this is related to the fact many American women don't even have paid maternity leave or affordable child care... But radfems don't want to acknowledge this. When it comes to prostitution or surrogacy, the argument is that free choice doesn't truly exist given the financial desperation of the women who make these decisions. But abortion is supposedly all about free choice despite its connections to (racialised) poverty. If you believe so deeply in freedom of choice, you're making a liberal feminist argument, not a radical feminist argument. If you want to tackle the root of the issue, you should start with affordable child care, paid maternity leave, and free or at least affordable contraception and the necessary sexual education.

Radfems, much like other pro-choicers, frequently appear to worst case scenarios (think incest, rape, or horrible health outcomes), but statistically speaking those only make up a very small portion of overall abortions. Most abortions are linked to financial and/or relationship issues. You can't make arguments using a very small minority as a pawn. You have to argue your case better

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not-poignant · 9 months

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thoughts on penny from stardew valley?

sorry if thats random

I don't mind her, but I don't really have any strong positive or negative feelings towards her either. I kind of nothing her sdkalfjas

She very much comes across as a victim of emotional abuse who just wants lots of babies and children, and as someone who personally is absolutely incredibly childfree, I could not be less interested in her character motivations if I tried. She's basically power-banging the storyline of 'how to fix my own mother issues with raising other people's children well and then having a ton of my own children' and it's like - more power to her, and she's extremely sweet as a character, but like...zero relatability. Probably one of the most two-dimensional characters that you can date.

OH, and I also HATE how much she's an ableist asshole to George and the game supports that. So yeah, wants tons of babies and is ableist. Like every character is flawed, Alex is an asshat, Sebastian is rude, Shane is actively cunty towards you for AGES, etc. but given I'm disabled, I take the ableist one personally. I guess my feelings do swing a bit negative now that I think about it. I have to skip that cut-scene every time we come to it.

I skip all of her cut scenes x.x

Like I doubt I could ever put her in a story of mine, unless I was writing characters concertedly interested in having children / raising children etc. and I'm just not interested in that.

So my perspective towards Penny is like 'you're good for the people who love you and I don't really have anything to do with you as a character.' I think the only reason she'd ever really be seen in Stain for example is maybe if Alex walks past Maru and Penny in town, or if Maru brings her up.

#asks and answers #the thing about penny is mostly that she exists to be #a mother to children #and that's it #when we do see her having an interest outside of children #it's reading for escapism - which okay that's relatable #OR it's being incredibly ableist towards george #(harvey is the same tbh i have to skip that cut scene every time)#(like fuck you harvey get your hands on some better science you absolute twerp)#and i can write a version of harvey i love in my story #but i *cannot* imagine penny being capable of living if she wasn't obsessed with babies and children #i just can't do it #to me she's nothing else as a character #because she wasn't written as being anything else *other than an abuse victim who is ableist in her need to people please*#it's just not...#what i want to write #unpopular opinion #how do i content warn for me being really harsh towards a character #look i am extremely childfree #i use mods to never have children / be asked to have kids in SDV

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emilykaldwen · 2 months

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Hi I am struggling with being ace and people's perception of me. Like they literally see me as invalid as a person because I don't have a man nor do I want one. Then I feel like I'm missing out if I don't have a man even as I know it will never work in reality. It's more like the status I want than an actual man. I work and live in a nice apartment so people kind of vibe off that when they find out, it lessens the harshness but I have a single female relative who is moving in with me due to homelessness and now the comments are starting about impoverished spinsters clubbing together, my life is over I'm past it. I don't know how to deal with it, it's really dragging me down to the point I feel if she lives with me its intolerable because people are saying this

Hi Anon! First off, I'm really sorry you're dealing with a bunch of massive assholes cause I'm sitting here going who the fuck says that shit to people? You are totally valid in your identity, and frankly, fuck what anyone else says.

So, my experiences are not reflective of other communities or cultures. You may be in a place that is very entrenched in the Life Script, as I like to call it: Heteronormative monogamous partnerships. (I'm based in the US, and even then, my experience is not universal in this country either)

So here's the thing, and some my take this differently, but I come from the camp of 'My sexuality is no one's business unless it comes up'. 'But Nat', you may say 'you have your identity in your tumblr blog'. Yes, yes I do because this is an appropriate space to state it so I can more easily connect with other people who are like me.

Now, this only works so far as you get older and people are like 'why don't you have a partner? don't you want kids? don't you want to get married? what's wrong with you?'. I run into this a lot as well in childfree circles. The moment I say 'oh, I don't want kids', a lot of people who have kids/want kids suddenly get super defensive, like I'm saying my personal choice means no one should be having kids and they're fools to have children. I think that runs into the similar issues on the ace spectrum where people who are in relationships are like 'do you think you're better than me or something?'

I didn't come to my full Ace conclusion until I was... 32? Before that I had been running on a bisexual/mostly-lesbian leaning outlook on life until I was living on my own and was like 'man, you know what, I should try date' and ended up getting myself a boyfriend. I tried. I tried for six months. I told him up front I wasn't very sexually motivated and it turned out he wasn't either! but man, he was as dull as a fucking rock (very nice though) and we had a lot in common and like, he would have made for a GREAT friend. But I found myself really struggling with not being attracted, not wanting to kiss him, and inside I'm going 'man this would be way better if he were a girl'. So I broke up with him, I told him I was a lesbian, and then once that was done I just... never had the urge to date again. Sometimes I do, but I realize now it's more that I'm trying to seek a platonic companion, someone who is always there to hang out with, that we have a lot in common, etc.

Even the most well meaning and supportive people can say things that are dismissive of being Ace even if they're not trying to be and it's up to YOU, anon, to let it roll off. Because not everyone is trying to drag you down.

But the people who are? Aren't people I think you want to have in your life anyway. These don't sound like friends or supportive people if they keep demeaning you because you have a different life than them. Are these the people you really want approval from for 'status' when it means degrading you for how you're built? Who YOU ARE as a person? The status is not worth denying your sense of self. Let's say you were gay and your friends were pressuring you about being straight. Would you get involved in a straight relationship that made you miserable? No, I don't think so (or at least, I hope not!)

I think it's absolutely lovely to have your aunt moving in with you and the next time someone says something, you just tell them 'That's such a callous and cruel thing to say. I have the room in my home and I love my aunt very much and I'm glad to help her. With today's economy, it works out for the both of us'.

And the next time someone wants to come at you for being ace, you can say 'Wow, I didn't know you spent so much time thinking about my sex life. That's so weird and kind of creepy'.

I find these sort of comments help... put into perspective what people are sounding like.

But honestly, fuck these people. They are not worth your time, and you are worth so much more than them.

#I have no idea if this is helpful anon #but this isn't high school #there is a whole wide open world out there #and sometimes it's very hard to be confrontational #but these people sound cruel AF #and toxic #like who the fuck says shit like that to people?#I'm so sorry you're dealing with this #I hope things work out

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mangodestroyer · 5 months

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It's sad that things have gotten so bad that people straight up don't blame me for choosing a childfree life. Like, I was so ready to be asked about when the grandkids are coming, and to get all sorts of lectures about how I might change my mind/regret this decision. But instead, I get a bunch of people telling me that I'm making a good choice because the world is shit now and it's not worth it.

I get this from OLDER and more CONSERVATIVE adults too.

Like damn, they're just on the same page as me with the whole thing about just taking care of myself instead and not forcing another life into this world. But that does seem to be the smart thing to do these days. I'm not trying to give anyone shit who is having kids. Sometimes circumstances change. But unless you're super well off and can afford to take time off for them... it's like the world is now going out of its way to punish parents.

There's also no safety net if things go wrong these days. And things can start going VERY wrong at any moment. Personally, I thought I was doing decent, but all of a sudden, over the span of a couple months, things are starting to look rough again. I might still have some options, but idk what to expect from the future. Even outside of finances, other problems are present. 2023 has just been an awful year. Tbh, I feel like I started feeling a bit broken throughout this year. And mental exhaustion is certainly no motivation for adding more responsibilities to my life.

Also, I'm sick of the dumb bs happening in this world. Billionaires hoarding wealth while people fight for a living/can't feed themselves. Quality of life decreasing at a concerning rate. And just all the toxic bs that comes from living in a capitalist nation. Like, it's one thing if I get stabbed in the back, abused, or made to feel unimportant as an individual. But I'm not putting my non-existent child through that. That's the thing, I still don't have things figured out and still feel discontent. There's no way I can help a child through this. At the very least, I'd need to get my own life sorted out and find my own happiness first.

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mbti-notes · 2 years

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Hi mbti notes, i have a random question. So i often see SJ, SP and NJ parents but i hardly see NP parents around. I only know one enfp dad and he is absolutely charismatic and inspiring, he motivates and mentors his daughter to her fullest potential and is willing to spend millions on the best education for her. Are NP types more likely to be childfree because they are put off by the logistical tasks of parenthood? Or is it because entp/enfp are more "all or nothing", they either be the best

[con't: parent, or avoid parenthood altogether if they cannot meet their visions of what an exemplary parent should be like? Asking out of curiosity as an ENFP who wonders why there seems to be so few NP parents around.]

1) Ns in general, especially NPs, are less likely than Ss to value a traditional sort of life (i.e. marriage and children). 2) Due to reasons of type development, it's not unusual for Ps to take a long time to settle down in life, which means some will miss the window to have kids altogether. 3) Ns are a statistical minority, thus, you're less likely to run into them in general.

#enfp #enfp parents #intuitives #ask

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sunshine-shitposts · 2 years

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The Road Ahead

A/N: this is so late this is sO LATE I'M SO SORRY AUUUGH 😩😩 I'm just getting back on a medication regimen that works with me and I'm getting my motivation back. Chronologically this woulda happened in April, right after the discovery of the pregnancy

"You're kidding," Catherine deadpanned, standing almost frozen in her front doorway as she glared at her visitors.

"Uhh, nope," Sunnie laughed as Dio crowded over her protectively, his large hand placed on her lower abdomen as he flashed a smug grin, "Medical wing confirmed it this morning. I'm pregnant."

"I just returned from DC," Catherine said after a deep breath, "Just got my luggage in the door, just kissed my sweet, sweet husband hello for the first time in a week, and you two troublemakers show up on my doorstep giving me news like this??"

As she raised a hand to run it down her face, exasperated, Dio chuckled, teasing her. "Are you not going to invite us in, Catherine? Surely you're a better host than that."

"Yeah–yes. Yes of course," she huffed, standing to the side and welcoming the both of them. "Come on in. We've got some talking to do."

The Gupta's house was large—large enough to be a mansion, but the word 'mansion' wouldn't feel quite right: 'mansion' leaves the impression of something daunting and impersonal, and the Gupta house was far from those things. The reason their house was so big wasn't technically for them, however: the couple was childfree by choice, which confused the real estate agent as to why they wanted a large home with many rooms and a large backyard. Janpreet was one of the middle children of a family of eight siblings, and he had already amassed a gaggle of nieces and nephews and niblings, so they wanted a large property so they could host family functions and holidays and have enough room for all of them. The decor featured clean lines and bright colors, with patterned rugs and pieces from their multiple trips not only to India, but around the world as well. Neither Janpreet nor Catherine were believers in minimalism.

Janpreet Gupta was the embodiment of a doting stay-at-home husband. Noting his intense interest in the subject from a young age, his parents, who had immigrated to the States from India, taught Janpreet how to cook, and by God was he exceptional at it. The Gupta house, as a result, always smelled amazing: turmeric, garam masala, ginger, cinnamon, fenugreek, coriander, coconut—deep scents of roasted spices permeated their large house from the well-outfitted kitchen, which was filled with both top-of-the-line appliances and well-loved inherited woks and pots and pans. Catherine, who loved her husband dearly, made sure that the kitchen was one that Janpreet could indulge in his favorite hobby to his heart's content. Hanging on a peg near the walk-in pantry was an apron dorkily emblazoned with the words, "I love my girlboss wife".

And if you knew to look for it, there was a tiny, dirty scrap of paper with a hastily scribbled string of numbers framed on one of the counters in the kitchen. If asked about it, Janpreet would beam at you with his wide smile and round cheeks, saying, "That's my good luck charm!" He would then tell you about how he once, doing his best to conceal the nervous shaking of his hands, gave that very paper with his number on it to a certain stunningly gorgeous black woman who had walked into his parents' restaurant and immediately captivated him one rainy night years ago. Then he'd direct your attention to the framed photo next to it, of Janpreet beaming with that same wide smile, gazing lovingly at Catherine, a vision of beauty in golden jewelry and glistening gems and a red bridal lehenga. "It's a good luck charm that clearly works," he would inform you.

Janpreet glanced at that very scrap of paper as he crushed spices and ginger in his pestle, water boiling next to him, and he smiled.

Catherine, however, sat with the surprise guests in the living room, an unexpectedly heavy silence hanging over them. The only person who seemed affected by the weird atmosphere was Sunnie, who was wringing the bottom of her hoodie nervously. Dio sat next to her, arm swung over her shoulders happily, unphased by the awkwardness, and Catherine tapped her shoeless hose-covered foot against the rug as she gathered her thoughts.

"Dio, Sunnie, I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I'm actually quite happy for you both, and I know you'll make excellent parents, but…" Catherine leaned back in her chair, her sharp eyes looking at Sunnie, then Dio, then Sunnie again. "Dio is a vampire. He's not human."

"Don Giovanna turned out alright, from what I know," Sunnie piped up, "I mean, I didn't spend that much time with him, but he seemed incredibly healthy and, y'know, besides having a Stand and being the leader of Passione, normal."

Dio froze, brows drawing down over his eyes. It was something he hadn't considered: the likelihood that the child wouldn't be completely human, the possibility that this could make for a more difficult pregnancy for his wife. He looked at her, clearly worried, and she caught his gaze, slightly unsure herself, before Janpreet entered with a tray, cups of his homemade masala chai balanced perfectly, and cut through the increasingly tense atmosphere with a contagious smile.

"The Don was conceived and born before Prime had consumed Joestar blood and gained access to the full scope of his abilities," Catherine stated pointedly, as both Sunnie's and Dio's eyes widened, "We're entering unknown territory now. This child will be born half human and half fully-powered vampire."

"I'm sure that, no matter what challenges your pregnancy might bring you, you'll be well-taken care of," he said, setting the tray down on the coffee table and handing Catherine a cup and kissing her cheek. He passed Dio and Sunnie their cups as well, and they thanked him as he sat in the chair next to his wife. "You've got Dio, you've got us, you've got the entire Foundation at your back," he continued, "You'll be getting the best care imaginable."

Sunnie's shoulders slouched, tension leaving them in a rush as she slumped against Dio. "You're right, Jan. Every pregnancy is a risk, really. This one might be a little weird, but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm a tough bitch, after all." She took a drink of the chai and hummed contentedly, looking up at her husband. "If things go sideways, Dio's here. He's saved my life before."

"Let's have faith that it won't come to that," Dio chuckled, relaxing as well. He sipped from his cup and took a deep breath, feeling settled from his brief bout of worry.

As the conversation drifted on at a leisurely pace and the chai was nearly finished, Sunnie had relaxed to lay her head in her husband's lap at his behest ("The mother of my child needs to take it easy, it's quite late.") and Dio stroked a thumb across her neck affectionately. There was a lull between them, and Janpreet had taken Dio and Sunnie's empty cups to the kitchen to clean. Sunnie was the one to break the soft silence.

"We can't raise a kid underneath the Foundation, Dio," she sighed, rolling over to look up at him, "A kid needs space to run and play and get messy. A kid needs trees and a yard and adventure."

"I agree, dove," Dio smiled, lifting a hand and combing his fingers through her hair, "But you needn't worry. I have a feeling it'll all work out."

Catherine considered her two friends for a moment, then set her nearly empty cup down. "Honey," she called, "Doesn't Sameena have that creek-side property somewhere?"

"Oh!!" There was clanging from the kitchen as Janpreet set down something metallic and rushed back into the living room, grinning ear to ear and eyes sparkling as his slippers slid across the floor before he came to a stop. "Yes!! It's a big house. There's a gorgeous garden and lots of room, especially for a growing family!"

Sunnie turned her head to look at him, curious but confused. "You know someone who just like, has properties laying around?"

Janpreet nodded. "My younger sister! She likes to find beautiful houses that may be torn down for property development, then save and restore them until the right person or people come along!"

Dio chuckled. "That sounds like an expensive hobby."

"My brother-in-law is a very rich man," Janpreet said, sitting next to Catherine again, "And he loves his wife dearly, so he supports her hobbies, no matter how pricey they are."

Dio and Sunnie glanced at each other for a moment, both considering the possibility, before looking back at their friends.

"So, there's a creek near it?" Sunnie asked, a curious glimmer in her eyes.

"Yes, lots of trees and plants and in the back there's a small creek, I'm sure it looks beautiful this time of year," Janpreet said excitedly. "I think Sameena called it a, uh… 'a magical three-story Victorian gem from the late 1800s'." At that description, Dio seemed to perk up, his eyebrows raising in interest, and Janpreet continued. "She was very happy when she acquired it, said it has a fascinating history."

"Does it, now?" Dio hummed, picking Sunnie's head up in his hand to keep it from being jostled as he crossed one leg over the other before setting her back down. "So this house was built around the time I was human, I take it."

"From what we've heard, yes," Catherine smiled, "It's very much up your alley, Dio. And I know for sure that you'd love the area, Sunnie."

Sunnie immediately grinned wide like the Cheshire Cat, eyes lighting up impishly. "Being near a creek and having lots of foliage means it's got tons of critters. Frogs, toads, snakes… I'm down to check it out if you are, big guy."

"And I'd love to take a look at it if you would like, Sunshine," he returned her grin, then looked at Janpreet. "Does it have turrets, perhaps?"

"Turrets?" Janpreet blinked at him in confusion. "…Rotating machine guns?"

Catherine laughed and patted his shoulder. "No, honey, tower-like rooms with pointy roofs." Janpreet's eyes blew wide with realization as Dio and Sunnie snorted.

"Ooh! Oh yes, I think at least one, maybe two," Janpreet recounted, "She sent the pictures a while ago, so I don't think I have them on my phone anymore, but it looks sort of like a place a modern day vampire or witch would live. I think you two would love it."

"So, should we get in contact with your sister, or…?" Sunnie trailed off, and Janpreet shook his head.

"I'll contact her for you and see if the house is ready to be shown. I know she's done some updating on it—air conditioning, modernizing the electricity, the works. I'll let you know, but I can't imagine her not agreeing."

Another comfortable silence floated in the room as Dio's hand settled on Sunnie's stomach, gazing at her fondly. She smiled back up at him.

"Moving out of the suite'll be good for us, won't it?" She reached a hand up, cupping the strong, sharp line of his jaw softly. "It's about time we get out from under the Foundation."

"It certainly is, my love," he agreed, reaching his hand back up to cover hers, "This opportunity could be a good change for both of us."

Catherine took in the sight of the two of them together and couldn't help the warm, gleeful feeling blooming in her chest. Sometimes it felt like just yesterday that she introduced them: a wary, broken woman and a still-ferocious monster of a man, both of whom needed healing in their own way. She hadn't expected them to find that healing in each other, but the second she saw that spark between them she'd hoped it would lead to something amazing, and they had far surpassed anything she could have hoped for.

"Well," she said, standing, "It's been a long day of politics and travel for me and I need sleep. Would you two like to stay the night?"

Sunnie sat up and nodded, grabbing her backpack at the foot of the sofa. "That's probably a good idea. I'm the one who drove us and I'm pretty tired." Dio joined her when she also stood, his hand rubbing her upper back.

"We'll take the safe room, of course," he said, grateful that Catherine had installed blackout curtains in one of the bedrooms, "Thank you both for talking with us about this. I must admit that I didn't stop to consider certain… special aspects of the pregnancy, and I'm quite embarrassed about my short-sightedness on the matter."

"Oh nah, dude, I totally didn't think of it either. That shit absolutely slipped my mind," Sunnie laughed, "And I'm the one that's carrying this kid!"

"It's easy to get caught up in the moment," Janpreet chimed in, picking up Catherine's empty cup, "I know whenever I learn one of my siblings is expecting another kid, I lose it for a little bit! The excitement just makes you feel like you're buzzing."

"It really, really does!" Sunnie giggled before she was wracked by a full-body yawn. Catherine's lips drew up in a half-grin.

"Get some rest, you crazy kids," she said, shooing them off while Janpreet shuffled off to the kitchen to finish cleaning up. Dio nodded to her and began to guide his wife out of the room, and Catherine paused for a moment, chewing on her lip. "Sunnie, Dio," she stopped them before they turned the corner, and they looked back at her. "I really am truly happy for the both of you. I meant it when I said you'll both be amazing parents. Janpreet is right; you have the Foundation at your back, no matter what happens."

Sunnie took a deep breath, centering herself, clearly still comprehending the fact that she was pregnant, then gave her boss a rosy-cheeked smile. "Thanks, Cat. It means a lot."

Dio inclined his head to her. "Your support is priceless to us, my dear friend. You have my gratitude."

They bid Catherine goodnight and left, and she chuckled wryly to herself. "I'd better get godmother privileges for all the stuff they've put me through, honestly."

#I FINALLY FINISHED THIS #also welcome janpreet to my story #janpreet is best boy. husband of the century. the bestest #SunnieD #my writing

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