#cassian andor angst

[pedrito-friskito]

cassian andor + smut prompt #10

i am a whore <3

nonnie if you're a whore I'm a whore 🤍

you called - cassian andor x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k (this one got away from me can you tell?)

warnings: unprotected p-in-v, brief oral (f receiving), jealous/possessive!cassian

“Two shots of Corellian whiskey, please,” you ask, stepping up to the bar beside Cassian. The sound of your voice almost makes him jump, but he hides the movement smoothly, adjusting in his seat. From the corner of his eye, he watches you lean back against the bar, propping your elbows on it. You wait for a few other patrons to pass before you drop your voice low. “You’re late.”

“I am not late,” he grumbles, polishing off the rest of his own drink. “I’ve been here waiting for you for hours now.”

You scoff a laugh, shaking your head. “After all this time and you still think you can lie to me, Cassian? You don’t think I had a lock on your ship the moment it entered the atmosphere?”

He balks, tries to hide it and fails. You’re good. Too good. He doesn’t say a word, shakes his head as the bartender returns with two shot glasses, placing them on the bar between you and him.

“That Fondor looks like it’s more mod than original,” you comment, reaching for one of the shots. “Where’d you steal it?”

“I didn’t steal it,” he shoots back, watching your brow raise. “It’s on loan, from a friend.”

“You don’t have friends, Cassian,” you quip, tossing back your shot. You slide the second one over to him. “Just people you owe money to.”

“I don’t owe you any money,” he mutters, unable to stop himself from giving you a cheeky grin. “What does that make us? Friends?”

“You know exactly what we are,” you return, giving him a sideways glance before setting your glass back down. “The mark just walked in. Keep an eye out, will you?”

“I always do,” he replies, and then you’re gone.

This is an old habit for Cassian. He’s known you a long time; you grew up on Ferrix same as him, but you managed to get off-world far before he could bring himself to. By the time he first met up with you on Coruscant, you had already started to make a name for yourself in the Capital’s underworld, and Cassian was in awe. He longed to get the hell off of Ferrix, to go somewhere warm and easy and carefree. He knew Coruscant wasn’t that place, but judging by the amount of credits you were raking in, it was a step in the right direction.

You sent for him often, over the years. He was the only one you trusted to watch your back, to keep a careful eye while you gathered intel, traded information with some of the shadier types in the galaxy. Most jobs went off without a hitch, but there were more than a handful of times where Cassian had started bar brawls to get you the hell out of dodge. He hadn’t had to kill anyone yet, but after everything that’s happened to him, he wouldn’t be surprised.

This is the first time he’s seen you, since everything happened on Ferrix. Maarva, Bix, B2. Luthen and his newborn rebellion. Cassian doesn’t totally know where he stands, what he’s doing, what his next move might be. But when he picked up your signal, Luthen loaned him the ship with little protest, and he was jumping through hyperspace an hour later.

You call, and he comes. It’s how it’s always been.

There had always been something between you, Cassian knew that much. His reputation might not have been the most pristine, but you never seemed to mind, having a bit of a rep yourself. 

But tonight…He could hear the unspoken in your voice, the strain of the events of the last time you met up. The job hadn’t been the issue - it had gone perfectly, in fact - but after, you asked him to walk you back to the apartment you had on the other side of the district.

He’d done as you asked, going so far as to bring you right to your front door. You’d asked him if he wanted to come inside, and before he could get the word yes past his teeth, you’d grabbed him by the front of his collar, and kissed him.

Clothes scattered on the floor, you’d stumbled your way to your bedroom. It was…blissful, in a word. It was everything he felt like he was missing, and that unspoken thing rumbled through you both, but there in your bed, he didn’t think it needed to be spoken aloud. It just…was.

Morning had come too quickly, and when he woke, you were gone. No note, nothing, just his clothes folded and stacked on the table beside the bed. He’d dressed quickly, and got on the next ship to Ferrix.

He wants to ask. He wants to know why you didn’t stay, why you didn’t leave him any sign that you wanted him to stay. But after everything that’s happened, it feels inconsequential, almost.

Cassian drinks down the shot, setting the glass down on the bar with a little too much force. You’re easy to spot, weaving your way through the bar to a man lurking in the dark corner. Brow furrowing, his hand brushes over his coat, where his blaster sits, tucked against his hip. He’s gotten quick on the draw, since he last saw you.

The man spots you as you draw closer, and Cassian bristles at the recognition on his face. He’s glad to see you, and it only becomes more and more evident as the two of you move closer and closer together, heads bowed as you speak, the man’s hand moving to rest on your hip. Then it moves up your back, pressing into the dip of your spine, and Cassian grits his teeth.

Something like jealousy flares in his gut. No, not something like it, but the thing itself.

He wants to touch you like that again, like he had that night. Seeing someone else with their hands on you…his fingers twitch over the blaster again.

No, something else warns him, a clearer voice in his head. That won’t go well, and you know it.

So instead, he watches. He leans back as casually as he can, one elbow leaned on the bar, tapping his other hand against his thigh. The conversation doesn’t last much longer, and before he knows it, you’re returning to his side, a contented grin on your face.You toss your hair over your shoulder as you wave down the bartender again. “Another round.”

“Got everything you needed?”

“And then some,” you reply, looking at him over your shoulder. “Thank you for coming, Cassian.”

He just nods. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

“We’re not friends,” you say, shaking your head as the bartender brings you another two shots. You toss them both back quickly. “I thought we made that clear the last time you were here.”

“The last time?” he repeats, lifting a brow. “You mean when you dragged me to bed and disappeared the next morning? That last time?”

He doesn’t mean for it to come out with such venom, but it does. Jealousy has taken hold of him and refuses to let go. His blood boils with it.

You narrow your eyes at him, your tongue poking between your lips to wet them. He watches the movement and ignores the way it makes his trousers tighten. He’s mad at you, he’s so glad to see you, he’s infuriated at you for leaving him alone last time, he’s so in love with you he might burst into flames.

“You’re jealous,” you determine, and though everything in him screams YES!, he rolls his eyes, turning half away from you. But you don’t let him go far, grabbing his shoulder and spinning his stool back in your direction. “Tell me I’m wrong, Cassian.”

Your hand moves from his shoulder to his thigh, and Cassian’s jaw goes tight. “We are not friends.”

“No,” you agree. “We’re more than that.”

“And your way of telling me that was disappearing the next morning, waiting three months, and then calling me to be your sidekick again?”

Your face falls, and you step back, removing your hand from his leg. “Come with me.”

Without another word, you turn on your heel and stalk out of the bar. Cassian only finds it in him to move when you reach the doorway, and then he’s all but chasing you, walking the almost familiar path to your apartment. You take the stairs, seeming to float up them as Cassian almost struggles to keep up. He loses you for a moment, but when he reaches your door, it’s open, only closing when he steps inside.

He calls your name, hears your quiet in here come from the direction of your bedroom. The place looks the same as he remembers and as he rounds the corner of the hallway, stepping into your room, he finds you perched at the edge of your bed.

“I left in the morning to get us breakfast,” you admit, looking up at Cassian, your eyes shining in the dark. “I’m not here a lot, and there wasn’t any food, so I went to get us something. When I came back, you were gone, and I realized I’d made a mistake.”

He says your name again, softer, and you shake your head.

“And then I started hearing the rumours, about Ferrix, about you. I heard about Aldhani, about Narkina-5, all of it. I even called Brasso, and that was when he told me about Maarva. I’ve been trying to call you ever since then, but nothing was going through. Then I met Vel, and she gave me the right frequency to contact you.”

Cassian sighs, leaning against the doorway. He never even questioned how you’d gotten his contact info after he was off Ferrix…he just…

You called, he came.

“You met Vel,” he says, unsure of what else to say.

You nod. “Hell of a woman.”

Cassian nods. “So you know, then. About the Rebellion.”

“I do. Figured I should put my talents to good use. Better than ripping off ex-senators and making credits I don’t need. And, if it keeps me closer to you, then it’s a win on all sides, as far as I can tell.”

His stomach drops into his toes. “You’re joining?”

You nod again. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes. I tried to resist it, I really did. But now…everything else seems…”

“Meaningless?” you supply. You pull your eyes from his. “For what it’s worth, Cassian, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner. I’m sorry about Maarva, Ferrix, all of it. ”

“You didn’t cause it,” he replies, propping his hands on his hips. “I did that all by myself.”

“Come here,” you say, your voice going soft and your eyes meeting his once more. “Please?”

Slowly, he closes the distance. He watches you reach for him, your hands moving to the belt that holds his blaster, undoing it quickly and letting it slip to the floor. He tries not to groan when your hands move under his loose shirt, fingers curling around his hips. 

Silently, he shakes his coat off, letting it drop to the ground before he hooks two fingers in the back of his shirt, pulling it forward off his torso. It joins the pile on the floor and then he hisses, your teeth sinking into the skin over his hip bone. He lets one hand dive into your hair, holding you against him, feeling your tongue soothe the mark you’ve left behind.

“Promise me something,” he whispers, and you tilt your head back, pulling your mouth from his skin long enough to meet his eyes.

“Anything.”

“Promise you’ll still be here in the morning.”

“I promise.”

You kiss your way across his waist, fingers working the button on his trousers while you distract him with your mouth. He’s got both hands in your hair now, silk between his knuckles, and it almost pulls his focus completely, enough that you have to repeat the next words out of your mouth.

“You never answered me.”

“Huh?”

“Back at the bar, I said you were jealous. You never answered me.”

You pull his zipper down, snap the elastic of his boxers against his skin. Cassian hisses. “I thought it was obvious.”

“It was,” you agree, nipping at his hip again. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

He tightens his grip on your hair and pulls, just hard enough that your head tilts back and he bends slightly, pulling his body away from yours, but putting his face close enough that he can feel your breath on his cheek.

“You have any idea how much I hated seeing someone else touch you? Someone else put their hands on you?”

You inhale sharply, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, and Cassian prods it with his thumb, pulling it free, rubbing the pad of his thumb across the plush of your lip. “Show me.”

And he does.

He makes quick work of your clothes, shucking his trouses off once you’re naked on the bed. You don’t let him go far, surging up to kiss him when he steps back to undress completely. Your hands are in his hair, same as his are in yours, and Cassian groans when you tug, both of you finding similar pleasure in the movement.

The first night was different. You’d stumbled your way through the dark, finding your peaks quickly. You’d fallen asleep after, and Cassian had watched you for a while before drifting off. That unspoken thing lulled him to sleep.

But now, he turns the bedside light on. The room illuminates with a soft orange glow, and he leans over you, until you fall back against the pillows and blankets, laid out for him, reaching for him. He molds himself into your palms, covers your body with his own. 

The first night, he hadn’t had the chance to taste you. Refusing to miss out a second time, he arranges you on the bed, pushing your knees apart to make room for his shoulders, tracing his mouth along the inside of your thigh, eyes darting between your glistening cunt and your face, the way your eyes roll back in your skull when he buries his head between your legs and sucks your clit between his teeth.

He wants to feel you cum on his face, to feel your thighs tremble around his ears, but you have other ideas. You haul him up with a gasp, fitting your mouth to his and licking your taste out of his mouth. “I wanted to-” he starts, but you cut him off, reaching between your bodies and squeezing your fingers around his cock.

“Plenty of time for that later,” you murmur, lips at his jaw, words spoken into his skin. “Right now I need you inside me, Cass.”

He groans as you stroke him, curling your wrist just right, but then he pulls your hand away, pinning your wrists either side of your head. Using his knees, he spreads your legs wide and drops his hips, the tip of his cock dragging through your wetness.

“Please,” you beg, your own hips lifting, chasing him, trying to notch his cock at your entrance. He teases you a moment longer, waits for the angle to be just right, and then he pushes into you. Your fingers flex against the bedsheets, mouth dropping open with a moan as his hips press into yours. Your legs twitch, one calf wrapping around his thigh. “Cassian, fuck, oh my-”

He covers your mouth with his, swallowing down your words and moans. You tighten around him, impossibly so, and he starts to move, finding his rhythm, filling you to the hilt with each thrust only to pull out almost all the way and do it all over again. Over and over and over, and you’re babbling into his mouth, straining against his hold. He leans up just that much more, pulling his lips from yours, both of you staring down at the spot where you’re joined, where he’s disappearing into you with every move.

“I’m the only one who gets to touch you like this, yes?” he grunts, hearing you gasp as he gives you one particularly hard thrust. He feels your head wobble with a nod, but he wants to hear it. “Say it.”

“Only you, Cass,” you breathe out, throwing your head back as you go even tighter around him. “Oh gods, fuck, only you.”

Pleasure coils like a serpent at the base of his spine, and he drops, trying not to smother you with his weight, pressing his face into the arch of your throat. You moan loudly as he releases your hands, curling his own around your shoulders while yours find purchase in his hair again. The bed shakes with your movement, both legs lifting to wrap around his waist now, your ankles hooked together at the small of his back. “Please, please, please, please, please,” you beg and Cassian bites at your pulse, groaning into your skin as his release threatens to overtake him.

“Cum for me,” he says, and you obey.

Your back arches and you make the sweetest sounds. He wants to bottle them, keep them for himself. He rides out your orgasm, keeping his own pleasure at bay until you’ve caught your breath, sighing at the press of him inside you, pulling him close. “Now you,” you whisper, nipping at his ear, lifting your hips so he gets that much deeper inside you, the warmth enough to swallow him whole. “Let me feel you.”

You call, and he comes.

He growls into your throat, fingers digging deep into your shoulders. You press kisses along his cheek, the space below his ear, his temple. Murmurs of how good it feels, how you missed him, how you’ll never let him go again, it’s the backdrop to the pleasure roaring through his body. It makes every muscle in him tense up before he relaxes completely, sinking into your embrace.

His eyes drop shut as he softens inside you, completely spent. Your fingers comb through his hair, soft kisses still scattered across whatever skin you can reach. After a few minutes, he finds the strength to roll off of you, falling onto the bed at your side.

You kiss his mouth before you get up, disappearing into the fresher for a moment, coming back with a glass of water for you both to share. Cassian gulps down the liquid as you slide back into bed with him, pulling the blankets over you both. You go to turn out the light, but he stops you.

“I’m not done with you yet.”

#my fics #sleepover sundae #cassian andor #cassian andor fic #cassian andor smut #cassian andor angst #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor x you #you called

[writingdumpster]

for so long

pairing: Cassian x reader

warnings: non graphic injury description, heated make out

summary: When you defy an order and risk your life on a mission Cassian accidentally confesses his love for you in his anger.

word count: 1,325

Your ship pulled off the ground and you watched as Hoth disappeared beneath you. It was a gunfight on the way back to the ship, but you and Cassian were safe and you had retrieved the drive you came for successfully. It was a successful mission, and it would be difficult for anyone to argue otherwise. Nevertheless you were being yelled at. K-2 was piloting the craft, leaving Cassian free to focus his attention on you.

“I told you to leave! It doesn’t matter what I do! I gave you an order!” Cassian yelled at you. You had taken a seat on a stool at the holotable. He was still standing, unable to calm himself enough to sit down.

“So, I was just supposed to leave you there?” You asked. “We got away fine, Andor. I don’t get what the problem is.” You were exasperated by Cassian. Sure, the mission hadn’t gone to plan, but it wasn’t that bad. Everyone was okay and you’d gotten what you came for.

“The problem is you almost died!” Cassian shouted.

“You almost die every day!” You snapped.

“That’s me, not you!” Cassian yelled back.

“So, you’re allowed to be in danger, but I’m not? Why?” You asked angrily.

“Because I love you!” Cassian shouted without thinking about it. The ship fell silent.

“You love me?” you murmured in question.

“I…I did not mean to say that. I’m…sorry,” Cassian said as he avoided eye contact with you.

“Cassian,” you called. “Do you really love me?” Your voice was light and sweet. It was the same voice you used with him whenever you were patching him up.

“I…We’re partners,” Cassian deflected.

“I know that, Cass.” The use of the nickname made Cassian’s heart skip a beat. “I asked if you love me.”

“Y/N, we should not talk about this,” Cassian said. He hadn’t made eye contact with you once since his confession. You stood up and approached him. There was only about a foot of space between you. Cassian turned his head to look at K-2 in the cockpit.

“Cassian, look at me,” you requested. Cassian pressed his lips together tightly before turning his head to look down at you. You reached up and cupped his jaw in your hand, his stubble scratching your palm lightly. You started to lean towards him slowly.

“Y/N, we can’t,” Cassian whispered. You could feel his breath against your lips.

“Why not?” You asked, maintaining your closeness. Cassian didn’t move away either.

“We’re partners,” he said. You gently ran your thumb along Cassian’s cheek. It was only another moment before you felt his hands gently resting on your hips. His touch was light. He was nervous. He still wasn’t sure he should be allowed to touch you at all.

“Do you love me, Kassa?” Cassian blushed brightly. He’d told you his birth name once during a late night stakeout. He didn’t think you even remembered it. He loved the way it sounded coming from you though. It made him feel like you really knew him. Like you were his family.

“Yes,” Cassian admitted quietly. “I love you.” You smiled softly. You leaned forward and kissed him passionately, tongue pushing into his mouth. He hummed in pleasure when you tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck. You released his lips but kept your foreheads pressed together.

“I love you too, Cassian,” you said.

”I’ve wanted you for so long,” Cassian murmured as his hands gripped you tighter, pulling your body against his. Your hands found a place on his broad shoulders. You slid them to the collar of his jacket. You started to push it off him. He quickly began to aid you, but you stopped him when you saw a blood stain on his shirt.

“Cassian, you’re bleeding!” You exclaimed. He glanced down.

“It’s a graze,” Cassian said. “We can deal with it later.” He tossed his jacket all the way off. You lifted his shirt. He continued to help you but his expression dropped when he realized you were just examining the wound.

“Baby, I’m fine,” Cassian sighed as he tossed the shirt off. You smirked.

“‘Baby,’ huh?” You teased him as you carefully examined the blaster graze and burns around it. Cassian’s cheeks warmed.

“Is that alright?” He asked. His hands moved to your waist as your eyes searched the rest of his body for other wounds he was ignoring.

“It’s alright, honey,” you said with a smirk. Cassian grinned. “Now sit down. I’m going to get a medpack,” you finished. He huffed quietly. He didn’t release you. “Let go, Cass,” you said in a sing-songy voice.

“Can’t it wait?” Cassian pleaded. He leaned forward and began pressing his lips to your exposed neck. “Aren’t we in the middle of something more important?” You gave his biceps a squeeze as you pushed him away from you.

“We can get back to this once I’ve finished patching you up,” you promised. “Sit.” Cassian pursed his lips, but took a seat and waited for you to return with the medpack.

When you did you sat across from Cassian. The graze was just above his waist on the side of his body. You dug out the antiseptic and found a small cloth.

“Lift your arm,” you instructed Cassian. He sighed but did as you asked. You leaned towards him and began carefully cleaning the wound. About ten seconds into your work he put his arm down and reached out to push a loose piece of hair behind your ear, leaving the hand to rest on your cheek once he had. “Cass,” you warned.

“What?” Cassian asked, feigning innocence.

“Just let me finish taking care of you,” you told him.

“I want to take care of you right now,” he said, moving his other hand to your thigh.

“I’m serious, Cass,” you said. “We aren’t doing anything until I’ve got you all bandaged up.” He pouted as he pulled his hands back, earning a giggle from you.

“You’re laughing at me?” Cassian exclaimed.

“You’re just so cute, honey,” you said. His cheeks heated at the compliment. You removed a piece of ash lodged in the wound. He winced.

“Sorry, Kassa,” you cooed. “I know it hurts.”

“I’m alright, baby,” Cassian said. “Don’t worry about me.” You put down the antiseptic and took a bandage in your hand.

“I’m always going to worry about you,” you said sweetly. He took a piece of your hair in his fingers and was twirling it around his finger. You put your hand against his side again. You were about to put the bandage on.

“You’re taking a long time,” Cassian complained.

“Quiet, you,” you said. “I’m almost done.” You laid the bandage down over the wound carefully and sealed it to Cassian’s skin. You leaned down and pressed a kiss over the bandage before sitting back up and looking at him with a smile.

“Are you done? Can I kiss you now?” Cassian asked eagerly. You chuckled lightly.

“Yes, Captain Andor,” you teased. “You can kiss me now.” Cassian growled.

“You can’t call me that now. K2 is still here,” he groaned. You giggled when you realized how he felt about the title. You recalled that after your first week of working with him he asked you to stop using his title.

“Just kiss me, Cassian,” you murmured.

Cassian didn’t waste another moment before pushing his lips against yours. His lips were warm despite the fact that you’d just departed the cold of Hoth. You took his bottom lip in your teeth and tugged for a moment before he took control and pushed his tongue into your mouth.

You were growing lost in the feeling of Cassian’s mouth against yours, totally and completely addicted to his taste already. Time or space didn’t seem to exist anymore. There was nothing but you and Cassian. You were his and he was yours and nothing else mattered.

#cassian andor x reader #andor x reader #cassian andor angst #diego luna x reader #star wars x reader #cassian andor fanfic #cassian andor fluff

[hottpinkpenguin]

Reasons, Ch.6 - Cassian Andor series

Female reader insert Summary: You're a droidsmith on Ferrix when a handsome stranger walks in one day with a hopelessly damaged droid. You agree to take on the repairs for the stranger, a decision that will change the direction of your lives forever. Word Count: 2,260 Content Warnings for: canon-divergence; cursing Taglist: @mithicakurogo @nonniecannie @freerangesweets @zbeez-outlet @chicken-fifi @queerponcho @theatergirlmgm @oh-yeah-i-exist @shakespeareanlead @idontevenknow1359

The sound of waves licking the sandy beach below had become a steady soundtrack that pounded around your head all hours of the day and night. You’d at first been mesmerized by the planet Niamos - to think, its inhabitants lived within full eyesight of an ocean at all times - but now, almost three and a half months after your frenetic arrival, boredom mixed with fear had gotten inextricably mixed with the sounds and smells of the ocean and you realized that you hated it here. Especially without Cassian.

He hadn’t stayed long, maybe two days. He’d dumped you in this beautiful, empty house and left with barely a word…

“I need to see my contact on Coruscant.” His dark eyes were red-rimmed from lack of sleep and cold. “Need to sort out safe passage for you. Get forged papers, new documents. It’ll take a while.”

You’d breathed in a heavy, long breath. Exhaustion had settled deep in the center of your bones, but what choice did you have? You were a fugitive now.

You nodded numbly, looking longing out through the perpetually-open wall of glass at the ocean stretched out to the horizon line. 

“I’ll go pack,” you replied, sliding out of the chair you were in and heading towards the bedroom you were staying in. “Won’t take long.”

Cassian caught your hand as you turned away. His touch sent electricity ricocheting up your arm, stealing your breath. You turned back to him, wondering if you looked as hopeful as you felt. 

“I’m going alone,” he clarified. His voice sounded sad and far away, but those dark, bottomless eyes revealed nothing. 

You didn’t know what to say. What to ask. Where would you stay? Here, you supposed, only because there was nowhere else to go. You’d realized very quickly that the Galaxy was massive, and you’d never left Ferrix before. The only person that you knew out here was Cassian, and laying claim to ‘knowing’ him felt like a lie. You felt that now more than ever. You didn’t really know him at all. 

You felt yourself give a shrug. Half resignation, half confusion. Cassian watched you quietly as you slid back into the chair, your eyes returning to the waves. Each time a new wave boiled up from the ocean depths, crested, and then crashed in a spray of foam on the seashore, you felt a new emotion rise up and crash open inside you. Grief. Rage. Despair. Terror. 

You don’t know how long you’d sat there, staring at the sea. After a long while of sitting still and thinking, you said the only thing that really mattered to you anymore. “Don’t forget to come back for me.”

Cassian hadn’t said a word after that. He’d simply slipped out the door without so much as a backwards glance. Leaving you to the empty house that looked out over the empty ocean…

The realization that Cassian wasn’t coming back for you had hit you somewhere around week seven. He hadn’t left a way for you to contact him, or vice versa. He hadn’t sent anyone to check on you. He hadn’t squirreled away a secret note or some small token of his remembrance. It was like he’d never been here at all. And that was by design. He was covering his tracks. Sure, you were on the run. But so was he. 

You wondered where in the escape things had gone sideways. He’d seemed so deliriously guilty about getting you tied up with the Empire when he’d broken into your home on Ferrix. He’d been tender in taking care of you after hyperdrive sickness, and then he’d brought you here. To safety. Because he cared… right?

There was one moment that everything had pivoted. You could barely bring yourself to think of it. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment (and desire, if you were completely truthful) each time you relived that kiss. It had to be the kiss. You’d crossed a line, you told yourself. Cassian was just trying to save your skin, and you’d gone and made it some sort of tragedy-romance mashup of bad luck and bad decisions when you’d slapped your lips on his. I’ve always been a good actor. You’d never forget those words. He’d been acting as the good guy, trying to make up for his wrongs by pulling you out of Ferrix. But that’s where it had ended. You’d fallen for his show, and you’d ruined everything. And now, you were alone. Just you and the ocean. 

Three and a half months was a long time to be by yourself. You’d managed to get by on the credits you’d had the sense to pack before fleeing your home, but that supply was dwindling. Pretty soon you’d have to make a choice: go home, or set up shop here. You’d have to fix droids. It was all you knew. But setting up shop somewhere new was bound to be fraught with challenges. You didn’t know the market, didn’t have a customer base. There were bound to be other droidsmiths on Niamos, so you’d be making enemies while you were bowing and scraping, taking whatever anyone would throw at you, all in the name of buying trust and goodwill and maybe, hopefully, a repeat customer. 

But worst of all, setting up shop here felt final. Setting up shop here meant that you wouldn’t be leaving. That this was home now. And, at the end of the day, that meant that Cassian wasn’t coming back. 

You hated him for leaving you, but not enough to give up all hope. Not yet. You counted the credits you had left. One more week, you thought to yourself. If he’s not back by then, I’ll start looking for shop space. 

An empty promise, you knew. You’d made the same one for the last four weeks.

* * * * * * * * *

Cassian felt fire burning in his veins as he held Senator Mothma’s gaze, her last words hanging heavy in the darkness between them. 

“I cannot afford to wait another week,” Cassian growled through gritted teeth, his hands trembling at his side. “It’s been almost four months already, Senator.”

Senator Mothma fidgeted uncomfortably with the large hood that obscured her face from the ambient light of a Coruscant night. They were quite alone in the rancid-smelling alley that Cassian had chosen for their meet-up, but the hum of the city-planet rang in their ears. A reminder to be quick, and be on their way. 

“I’m sorry, Cassian, I truly am, but I simply canno-”

“Senator, with respect, I am tired of your apologies.” Cassian was pacing now, his voice breaking free of the constraints of whispering. His temper was fracturing with impatience. “My contact on Niamos is in constant danger, and you’ve kept us waiting for four months for papers!”

“Cassian, please.” The Senator cast a shifty glance around. No one was listening, but the last thing either of them needed was to make a spectacle of the exchange. A Senator caught in a clandestine midnight meeting with a known Rebellion agitator would do neither of them any good. To say nothing of the warrant for Cassian’s arrest and the bounty price of half a million credits on his head. Or the Senator’s deeply scrutinized allegiances and alleged ties to the Aldhani incident. 

Cassian tried to calm himself, but he was beyond reason. All he could see was your eyes, the way you’d crumpled when he’d told you he was coming to Coruscant alone. It had nearly broken him to leave you there, but the brutal calculus of life as a wanted criminal demanded the utmost adherence to scruples. Cassian couldn’t risk your life just to keep you near him. It would have been easy - too easy - to delude himself into thinking that the safest place for you was by his side. Right where he wanted you. But he’d already proven himself near-fatal to you, almost getting you good and shot on Ferrix just by trying to pay off his massive debt with some traced credits. And all that had been before that goddamned kiss. After that, he was sunk. Totally enraptured. He knew it from the instant he felt your lips on his. No, he was in far too deep. If it was the last thing he did, Cassian Andor meant to make good on his promise to you: he needed to get you set up somewhere safe and then make it so that you never saw him again. It was the best way - the only way - he could see to keep you safe. And as badly as he wanted you, he wanted you alive. More than anything, that was what mattered. 

He reminded himself of all of this, one painstaking bitter pill at a time. Slowly, incrementally, he felt the fire begin to burn off as his mind cleared to reason. When he finally felt calm enough to speak, he rounded on Senator Mothma.

“Senator, it gives me no pleasure to do this, but I simply cannot wait any longer. If I don’t have the papers I’ve requested - and paid for, mind you - by tomorrow, I’ll have to take matters in my own hands.” 

Senator Mothma inhaled, her chin jutting out proudly as her eyes simmered. “And just what does that mean, Cassian?” Puffed up and haughty, but Cassian saw a flicker of fear in the back of her eyes. She knew a threat when she heard one. And Cassian had been honest about one thing: it really didn’t give him any pleasure to play this hand with the Senator. She was a noble woman, strong in her beliefs and an astoundingly deft political operative. Smart and confident. Cassian respected her immensely. But, when all was said and done, she was proving to be a hindrance. Cassian had promises to fulfill. Or rather, promise. Singular. Your safety. He was determined that nothing - not the Senator’s delicate political situation, not an outstanding warrant for his arrest, not an entire garrison of Imperial Storm Troopers - would stand in his way.

“Let’s hope you don’t have to find out, Senator.” 

For a few tense seconds, the two of them sized each other up in the hazy darkness. Cassian’s gaze was steely, his resolve never stronger. Three months, three weeks, two days. His internal clock screeched like a tea kettle. Too long. 

After a few breaths, Senator Mothma deflated slightly, her head sagging on her proud neck. The way she crumpled, like a kite that’s lost its breeze, reminded Cassian of the way you’d looked as he’d left you alone by the seashore on Niamos. The memory brought the threat of tears to his eyes. 

“I’ll get them to you,” the Senator agreed. Her voice sounded stretched and thin. Cassian felt a pang of guilt for having to push her to this. He knew what she was risking - her career in the Senate, her daughter’s and husband’s safety, her own life - to get these forged identichips. Ever since the Empire had assumed power, identichips had become mandatory for Imperial citizens to carry at all times. Forged chips had quickly flourished as one of the most lucrative corners of the black market, but the Empire had expended considerable effort on quashing that enterprise in its infancy. Those willing to alter identichips were few and far between now; those willing to forge entirely new ones, even fewer. Only the very wealthy had enough credits to realistically purchase such a service, but forgers made themselves extremely scarce in efforts to avoid Imperial imprisonment. Not that Cassian blamed them - wasn’t that the fate he was trying to save you from, after all? - but their secretiveness had proven an unexpected time suck on his plans. Months had dragged by before Senator Mothma had even made contact with one, and now her order hadn’t been delivered on schedule. Cassian wasn’t sure what it would cost her to extort the identichips tonight, but he couldn’t allow himself to backtrack now. 

“Thank you.” He exhaled heavily, unsure if he felt relieved or more terrified than before. He’d been focusing for so long on getting the identichips that he hadn’t let himself think too hard on what would come after. Were you still on Niamos? Would you still want his help? Had the Empire found you? Were you still alive at all?

Unwilling to follow those thoughts any further, Cassian simply handed Senator Mothma a small strip of paper with a ship’s name and docking location scribbled on it. “I’m leaving at midday tomorrow,” he told her as she crumpled the paper and slipped it into the pocket of her robe. “Make sure my chips are on board by then.” 

She nodded again - a sad, completely exhausted acquiescence - and turned on her heels, vanishing into the foggy street. Cassian watched as she left, listening to the sound of her retreating footsteps. She was walking away with the power to make or break him, Cassian realized. If she didn’t deliver those chips, and Cassian couldn’t get back to you… 

He wasn’t sure what that would mean for him, except that his heart turned to ash in his chest whenever he thought of that possibility. Steeling himself against the mix of dread, relief, and adrenaline sitting on his shoulders, he turned the collar up on his coat and turned in the opposite direction from the Senator. He threw up a silent thought for you - all alone by the seaside in a beautiful, empty house - hundreds of thousands of miles away, but somehow still the closest thing he had to home.

*more chapters coming soon! please let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future chapters

#cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor angst #cassian andor imagine #cassian andor #cassian andor x reader #andor imagine #andor #diego luna x you #diego luna x reader #diego luna fanfiction #diego luna imagine #diego luna

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

LOVE YOU ANYWAY - C.A

Pairing: Cassian Andor x gn!reader

Summary: you had been by cassians side since he had arrived on the planet but when he went missing for a month you gave up on him. now he's back and wants to make up for it

Warnings: arguments, mentions of blood, fighting, scars, trauma, kissing, sadness, allusions to sex, wrongful imprisonment

Wordcount: 2.5k

tell me every terrible thing you did and let me love you anyway

You had never expected to be the person who waited around for a man to come back but ever since Cassian had vanished when the empire came looking for him, you had been waiting for him to come home.

Every day you woke up in his home with his mother, a sickening feeling in your stomach as you wondered what could be happening to him. Maarva had invited you to stay with her in the home after he had left as she was getting sicker every day and needed someone to stay with her at all times.

You had known the Andor ever since you met when he was just a young teenager and the three turned up on the planet. Maarva trusted you with her life and you felt the same way.

Cassian meant everything to you, he was your best friend, your confidante and the man you had always been in love with. Ever since you were little kids, that smile on his face had drawn you in and even though you knew he didnt feel the same way, you always stuck by his side.

And now you were waiting in his home for him to come back. The rain poured down heavy on the windows and you were making Maarva a pot of tea when you heard a knock on the door.

You’re entire frame tensed up and you rushed to the door, hand resting on the blaster in your holster and you tried to figure out what to do. You leaned closer to the door, eye peeking through the hole in the door as you tried to see who it was; ever since Cassians escapade, the security had increased and they were constantly wary that you and Maarva were plotting something.

You opened the door when you saw who it was and Cassian stumbled into the room, “Since when do you lock the door?” He questioned, not even wondering why you were at his house so late at night.

Your heart was pounding in your chest as you looked at him, brows furrowed as you tried to figure out why he had come back and where he had been. He had shaved his beard off, leaving a light trail of stubble behind and his eyes seemed sadder than they had before. He looked like he had been through hell and back and you didnt know what had happened but every instinct in your body told you to hold him tight.

You just stood there as he walked in, looking at his mother as she sat on the sofa, “I’m sorry Cass, you cant stay here. Its not safe. There’s troopers everywhere now,” Maarva explained and you walked over, looking at the two.

You had never felt like you were intruding before but now as you stood there in his house, there was an awkward tension.

“The troopers got here fast,” Cassian stated, looking around.

You shook your head, thinking back to the day that the troopers bolted into Maarvas house where you were waiting for him. They had ransacked his entire room and the house, looking for some indication as to where he was and you werent going to tell them even if it meant that they killed you.

“They came the next day, kicked out pre-mor and took over the hotel. Ferrix is under imperial authorities,” you said, words spitting out like venom.

He turned to look at you. You seemed just as stressed out as he felt, bags under your eyes as you wrapped your cardigan closer around you. He wondered what had happened after he had left you to fend for yourself but he knew you were okay.

“You shouldn’t be here Cass,” you said, an almost bitterness to your voice. You had been the one to pick up the pieces after his mistake had done this to your city and to the peopl you cared about.

“I’m not going to ask what you’ve been doing but you need to think about this,” Maarva said, noticing the tense air in the room.

She had always thought that you and Cassian would be something one day but as you both stood here, you trying to conceal your anger towards him for the sake of diplomacy and him trying to hide his yearning for you after all the time apart she didnt know what to think.

“Someone turned me in,” Cassian said, almost spitting out the words as he turned to you.

“It wasnt me,” you said under his inquisitorial gaze and even though that’s not what he meant by looking at you, the damage had been done, ”It was Timm,” there was a shock on his face at the fact that one of his friends would be capable of doing something like that, “No point stewing over it, the corpus killed him when they were coming after you,”

Instinctively, your hand reacted up to your face, finger brushing over your temple and it was only now that he noticed a new scar there, deep and ragged and it sent an ache through his chest. There was so much guilt weighing down on him for what he did to the city of Ferrix but even more about what he did to you.

“The imperials are here to say,” Maarva said, interrupting the look between the two of you.

“You don’t have to worry about that, we’re getting out of here,” Cassian said as he crouched in front of his mother before turning to look at you, “All of us,”

You scoffed, “All of us?” You questioned and he nodded, looking at you with a smile.

“We can go anywhere we want. I got lucky and I scored enough credits to get us anywhere. We can leave this mess behind and we can go tonight,” he said, looking between you and Marva with a boyish smile that you hadnt seen in a very long time, “I can make it happen, it’s gonna be different now,”

You shook your head in disbelief, “That’s where you’ve been? Running around with what, smugglers? Mercenaries?” You questioned, scoffing as all the anger finally came out after over a month of worry for him.

“Let’s not argue now,” he said, brows furrowed and his smile falling from his face. He hadn’t released how mad you were at him and it took him aback.

“Its a lot to take in, you surprises me,” Maarva said with a shaky breath, looking away from the two of you.

He shook his head, “What am I thinking? Its late. You get some rest and we can talk tomorrow okay,” he said, a smile on his face as he watched his mother get out of her chair, patting her hand on his cheek before walking off into the bedroom.

When she left, he turned to you, brow furrowed as he started stalking closer towards you. You flinched when his hand came up, the coarse pad of his thumb brushing across the scar on your temple.

You couldn’t even meet his gaze as he looked at you with such an intense look. That intense side of Cassian used to make your stomach flip but now you just felt guilty, guilty for your little outburst and guilty that you hadnt been able to help him.

“You’ve been hurt,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly at the end. That’s what made you turn to look back at him, eyes fluttering open as you looked into hs eyes. They were sad, a deep crease between his brows as he looked at you intently.

“Its nothing,” you said, stepping away from him, his hand falling from your face. You didnt want to think back to that day.

When he had been on the run, they had started to ransack Maarvas apartment. You aw it happening and pushed through the crowd and that’s when the fight with the pre-mor employees had started. You had barely done anything wrong before he was hitting you round the head with the but of his gun, knocking you to the floor before dragging you across the gravel in front of the angry residents of Ferrix.

Cassians hand grabbed your wrist before you could move too far away from him, stopping you from going anywhere and breaking you out of your thoughts.

“You’ve been hurt,” he repeated, this time an anger in his voice and it wasn’t focused on you, it was aimed towards the person who had done it.

“Let go of me Cass,” you said, the nickname still there even though you were mad at him. You shook your wrist free of his grip and stepped so your back was to him, hands coming up to your shoulders as you hugged youself.

“What happened when I was gone?” He questioned and you scoffed like the last month could be explained in a simple sentence.

“What happened? Ive been looking after your mother, I’ve been looking after this town and you’ve been running around doing maker knows what and I’m bored of having to pretended its okay!” You exclaimed.

He just stood there, almost shrinking in on himself as he listened to you. He had never thought about the effect that his absence wold have on you.

“I cant leave Ferrix,” you stated.

He shook his head at your statement, confused as to why, “Its not safe here,” he stated, eyes trailing up your cheek to the jagged wound there again, a pang of guilt seeping through his chest.

“You cant stay here,” you said and he knew what you were suggesting. You wanted him to leave you and Maarva there and be free but he couldn’t imagine that life without you.

“Ill be worried about you all the time,” he said and now you could see the tears brimming in his eyes at the idea of him leaving you.

You sighed, pursing your lips together in an ettempt to hold back your tears from spilling over your waterline, “That’s what love is Cass,” you said.

He furrowed his brows at your statement and that’s when you knew it was now or never. The words were spilling out before you even had the chance to stop them, “I love you Cass and I always have so when you run away and act like a child and leave me to pick up the piece, its not okay,” you explained, chest heaving and heart pounding as you finally admitted it, “The people here need me,”

“I love you too-” he started to sat, walking closer to you.

You backed up, eyes brimming with tears as you helped your hands out like it would top him getting away closer, “No, I love you,” you stated, words getting quiet as your never got the better of you.

It was like Cassian andor had been hit by a meteor. The entire world froze and he just looked at you with wide eyes, not sure how to respond to that. You had been his rock ever since you had met and when he was on Aldhani, you were really the only thing that was getting him through it.

His body was pulling him towards you like a magnet and in a matter of seconds, his lips were pressed forcefully against yours and after a second off shock, you kissed back, hands entangling themselves into his hair.

You had been dreaming of this moment since your were a little kid and now you had it and you werent going to let go of him. He pulled away, hand caressing your skin, “And I love you too, and that’s why you’re coming with me,” he said, mumbling into your lips and you nodded.

That's all you needed as confirmation to pack up your things snd finally escape. You had wanted to leave and now nothing was holding you back. Sure, you'd both be worried about maarva but you'd come and visit one day once you'd built your future together.

Less than a month later, you woke up in the bed on Niamos. It was a small beach planet that you and Cassian were basically honeymooning on and you realised that you’d never been so at peace before as wrapped up in his arms.

“We have to get up,” he muttered into the skin of your neck, pressing a kiss to the mark he had left the night before.

You groaned, grabbing onto his hands that rested on your bare abdomen, “Five minutes Andor,” you begged and he chuckled into your neck, brushing your hair out of your face before turning you so you had to look at him.

“I have to get us breakfast,” he said and you rolled your eyes as you watched him pull away from you, bare chest

Your breath hitched in your throat as you thought back to the previous night and he smirked as he pulled a shirt over his head, turning to look at you as you pulled on your bottom lip with your teeth.

“Ill get food and then we can spend the rest of day in bed baby,” he said, walking over and muttering some nickname in Kenari. You knew it was a term of endearment from the way it fell soft from his tongue and then he pressed a kiss to your cheek before walking to the door.

“Ill come with you, just give me a minute,” you said before getting changed, following him out of the door.

You walked through the sunny beaches and smiled at Cassian, his hand enveloped in yours. You had never been as happy as you were in this moment and little did you know it was all about to be taken away from you.

“Ill go look at the menu then Ill be back out,” you said, pressing a kiss to his cheek before walkig into the restaurant, aa smile on both of your faces.

Cassian looked around. He had never been this happy before and it was all because of you. He couldn’t believe it had taken him this long to tell you how he felt but now that he had you, you werent going to be going anywhere.

That’s when he was encountered by a K2 droid, snapping him out of his daydream of a future with you as he was accused of being involved in rebel activity. He tried to protest but it was no use because the next thing that happened was him being pulled away and knocked to the floor.

Ypu walked out, a smile on your face as you held two paper menus up but your smile fell from your face when you realsied you couldn’t see him. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him being dragged away by a K2 droid and you started to rush forward before a local grabbed you.

You turned and looked back at her, “Your boyfriend is gone, you will be gone too if you go,” she tried to convince and by the time you managed to escape, he was nowhere to be found.

You had lost everything you'd ever had in a second and you were going to search every inch of the galaxy for him. Every inch.

#cassian andor x reader #cassian andor angst #cassian andor fluff #cassian andor fic #cassian andor x female reader #cassian andor x you #cassian andor x y/n #cassian andor x gn!reader #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor fanfic #cassian andor #star wars fanfiction #star wars #star wars cassian #star wars angst #sw: andor #andor #mj writes nonsense #diego luna #diego luna x reader

[septimaseverinawannawrite]

Don't Leave Me Here

Changing format and style, because I want to keep my motivation strong. 💪👁👄👁

Fandom: Star Wars

Request: Nope. This is the very self-indulgent one shot.

Pairing: Cassian Andor x F!Reader

Summaries: Battle of Scariff brings hope to the Galaxy and the Rebels, but what about the Rogue One's crews, especially with your long-time-crush, Captain Andor.

Contents: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Mutual pining, Friends to lovers, Soft Cassian, Love confessing, Idiots in love.

Warning: Angst. Describing of Injuries, blood, pain and death. Crying. Anxiety. Cliché plot. Writer is being too over emotional and regret nothing.

Rate: M for melodrama

Words: 2,285

A/N: Alternate version of Rouge One 2016's ending. Because I had realised that I didn't write my own. Also, feel a little bit sad, because 2024 is feeling like eternity. But I'm gonna write Cassian's fix-it fan fictions, until I can't write. English is my second Language, please feel free to correct me, and let me know if I miss any CW+TW. Enjoy Reading 😊

🌹Click to My AO3

Death Star Plan was successfully stolen. The battle at Scariff had been considered as a big victory for rebellions. Everyone who stayed at Yavin IV was cheering and crying with joy. Some systems, even, officially declared independents over the Empire’s sovereign right there. Some systems, which tended to give up before, decided to maintain alliances. The spark of flame was reigniting again. The light at the end of the darkest tunnel was like a new dawn — hope.

But it just was at the very first minutes, when the Plan completely broadcast. The Rogue One crews returned with survivors – were not long enough after the battle ended – but mostly were casualties. All Medbay turned into a big, chaotic area; doctors, nurses, medical staffs, and medical droids managed to diagnose every crew’s condition from the worst to ‘nothing much to worry about’.

And the worst, whose state was severe, was Captain Cassian Andor. Y/N’s one of her old and good friends, since she had joined the Rebellions in the first month.

Cassian was a mystery (some even said he was scary), moody, tense and taciturn on the outside – for almost everybody on Yavin IV Base. Actually, he was not. He had a strange humour and points of views toward life, also knowledges in many fields which attracted his team, many women on the base, and Y/N.

As the volunteer at Medbay – after hearing there were survivors – Y/N ran and helped the staffs as much as her strength allowed. First time she saw Cassian, he was covered by blood and wounds, while she was pasting Bacta gel on a supporting crew. She didn’t spare a time to visit him, she must stay outside – standing by. When she finished all the tasks, she noticed that a doctor and assistances had taken care of Cassian already. She was about to visit him in a patient room, but it was forbidden.

Few hours later, the Rebellion Alliances had received the news; Princess Leia was being held in custody by the Empire. Was anything worst happened to the Alliances right now?    

Three days had passed by, Y/N had switched to the ‘autopilot’ mode on working in her station, doing routine. Thanks to all the works which kept her busy until resting time, they also made her forgot what she had dreamt in her sleeping.

On the fourth day, main crews on the cargo ship gradually came to consciousness. Y/N’s good friend at Medbay told her that late morning. She immediately visited them and listening to the incident near the broadcasting tower on Scariff.

Jyn told Y/N everything which Cassian did. She even encouraged her to hold tight on the hope. Chirrut said the force had been staying with Cassian, and the force always worked in many surprising ways. Moreover, the medical staffs allowed everyone, whoever cared about Cassian, to visit him. He was getting much better now, but still unconscious.

She didn’t want to dig up those memories of him being covered by blood and wounds four days ago. Nevertheless, she shook them out, made up her mind, and deciding to see him. Maybe Jyn and Chirrut were right.

            Y/N exited her station to the room where Cassian was placed. She noticed the one and only re-programming Imperial droid on Yavin IV. He stood and starred through the window, seem like he hoped his Captain was waking soon.

“Y/N.” K2SO greeted, “I have calculated the possible that you are going to visit Cassian today, the percentage is…”

“Don’t tell me.” She cut the droid. “Let me go inside without your statistic. My head is aching enough.”

Keying a code, going inside, she cursed herself for being rude to K2SO. Somehow, after visiting Cassian – she would apologise to the droid – since she had forgotten his good intention, underneath the sarcasm.

As Y/N approached the bed, all Cassian’s blood and wounds were cleansed. BPM pulse and body temperature had not become normal yet. He would not wake up within two or three days, according to the report. Numerous I.V.s were still plugging into his veins, also a bandage on his torso.

Y/N sat on a chair beside the bed, examining Cassian’s state closely while she tried to hold back her tears, but it was failed. She could not help herself. All tears ran down her cheeks like a great flood. Four days and three nights felt like months. She let vulnerability got her by sobbing uncontrollably, started talking to him and wishing he could hear;

“Cassian, I know you are willingly to do anything for the Rebellion. I’m really proud. But why do you always run into suicide missions?” Her voice was depressed. “Sometimes, you don’t have to prove that you are one of the best rebel spies by destroying yourself. Mon Mothma and many commanders speak of you highly… even princess Leia…”

Tears still ran down, while she was reaching for his hand, biting lower lip and shook her head.

“I survived the first month because of your helps. You introduce me to many things I know just a bit or haven’t known before, so I can fit in. When I feel down, blue, even black, you cheer me up with your eccentric jokes – and if you are out for a mission, you always say goodbye… this time… you don’t even give me a chance…”

Y/N recalled what was happening when Rogue One recklessly leaved for Scariff, after most allies and commanders objected. She was there. When the meeting ended, she sought Cassian or whoever in his unit. Too late. They had gone.

“I want to blame my stupid brain for bringing the pain that I do not desire to feel. That isn’t a reason. Those words in my mind – I wish I could tell you, after all of these years…” Y/N softly squeezed his hand “Since here we are, only you and me. When you wake up, we are going to be the same. It’s now or never.”

She paused for seconds, took one deep breath, and let all her feels breaking control.

“I love you, Cassian. More than a good friend. I love you with all my heart, my soul, my breath, and my entire existence. You are the one. Every time you come back, I just don’t want to hug you – I want to kiss you like there’s no tomorrow, jumping into you, embracing you in my arms……”

            Y/N kept confessing her feelings toward Cassian until she recognised she was going to weep again. She stopped, stood up, leaned forward to kiss Cassian’s forehead gently, and whispered before leaving.

“Just don’t leave me here…”

            She dried her eyes, leaved Cassian behind, and repressing the desire to look at him again. As she exited, K2SO still had been on the spot. She sighed, walking toward the droid.

“I’m sorry Kay. I shouldn’t say such things. Well, I don’t have any excuse.”

“At least you didn’t hit me. I don’t expect anything. I have calculated, there is a high chance that you’re going to apologise. So, I forgive you.”

Y/N could swear to Kriff that K2SO mentally shrugged, judging by his tone. She crossed her arms and faking a smile.

“Then we’re even.” Looking on the floor, she gazed up at K2SO again. “Tell me, have you calculated when Captain Andor is going to wake up?”

“I did, but I think you don’t need it anymore.”

She raised her eyebrows. The droid did say nothing, just looked into the room. She followed suit, shook her head, and suddenly rushing inside.

Cassian opened his eyes. Blinking rapidly, he glanced around. The last thing he remembered – before everything turning black – was K2SO and Jyn helping him into an escape pod, also thinking about Y/N and regretting that he had not bid a proper farewell yet. And how the Kriff he could be here now, at the medical section on Rebelli—

“Maker!” she exclaimed, stopping him from the train of thought – While she was restraining herself from hugging him.

Cassian swore in his native tongue. Unbelievably, his eyes might be deceiving him – Y/N was here – impossible. This place could be wherever the creatures went after the death.

“No, this isn’t true. Scariff was destroyed by the Death Star… You can’t be here.”

Y/N wanted to punch him in the face, but it could send him back to the unconsciousness again. She tried to keep calm, but instead, her tears explode again.

“Don’t you dare say such a thing—”

His mouth was gaping a little, looking downward at his own body. His torso and his head still hurt. He felt everything which plugged on his arm, thinking backward – moreover, before he could open his eye – he could hear Y/N said something… about the relationship, and love. Especially what he had been holding on for a long time, the same thing she had blurted out. He thought they were an illusion.

He sat up, his back and his bone were cracking loudly. He breathed deeply, restraining all the agony. Y/N supported him; holding his upper body and adjusting pillows.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He paused, as she was sitting beside the bed, “This mission is important. We must do it fast. That fucking weapon is too dangerous… like I’ve told you before, if we waited for permission, the Empire could be a hundred steps ahead…”

“No hard feelings. You survive, wake up and healing. The Empire is going to fall. Those are all I want.”  

Seeing Y/N sniffed, sobbed and looked down at the floor, Cassian’s eyes were softer than ever. He reached out to take her hand, that grab an edge of the bed, caressing it gently.

“Please don’t cry. Kay tells me once that tears can drain oneself, and… You deserve all happiness in the galaxy.”

She gazed into his eyes. Perplexing spread on her pale face.

“What Kay’s randomly statistic has to do with my happiness?”

Cassian sighed quietly. Smiling, he whispered in Kenari, decided to speak all his heart out.

“Come sitting here.” He patted a space on the mattress. Although she was still dazing, she consented. Here, it was closer than ever, every time they interacted.

“Your happiness is my happiness. Your pain is my pain.”

She gasped. Something was dawning in her mind, but he still kept continuing;

“I thought I was dead or dreaming. It is not. I hear what you have said. I feel all the things you have done. I’m not going to leave you here anymore. I love you, Y/N; with all my heart, my breath, my soul, and my entire existence.”

“Cass…”

“Please don’t leave me here, too.”

His voice was filled with pleading and the utmost longing. His eyes had not brightened yet, but they were brighter than ever – before he disappeared as the council was dismissing.

“I’m not gonna leave you. Ever.”

All the affectionate and things which left unsaid within their eyes were exploding. Her lips were parted – trying to reply – but his hand slowly moving to her face. Caressing it tenderly and trailing downward from her cheek to her chin, he tugged her weave behind her ear. Cassian and Y/N could feel their breaths upon their own skins. Their eyes were exchanging feeling from through all of these years, as she put her hand on his shoulder.

Cassian didn’t hesitate. He leaned in to capture Y/N lips softly. It was like a butterfly pecking on flowers, an index finger touching a velvet cloth. They paused for seconds to catch the breath. She sensed that the temperature in this room was rising and warmer than before.

“I won’t do this again…” He whispered, looked into her eyes and circling his thumbs over her cheek and her hand.

“You don’t have to…”

“I’m not gonna be reckless. I will ask Mon Mothma and other commanders for table-work. More time on base, less time t—”

Y/N sealed Cassian’s mouth with her lips, lightly pushing him back on pillows. His eyes were widening, but he grinned while kissing her back. His hand on hers moved from to the back of her neck, gradually pulling her down to deepen the passionate kiss.

“There is ninety-nine per cent that Y/N is gonna kiss you like this, Cassian.”

Y/N was abruptly jumping back to a chair. She almost fell from a sickbed, as she heard K2SO’s voice. Cassian, also the same, but he gripped a metal beside tightly enough.

“Kay!” Cassian hissed the Droid, who was standing near infirmary’s trolleys.

“Oh, I shouldn’t have disturbed you both, since you have always wished the scenario like this, should I?”

“Go visiting others.” He ordered. The droid did as he was told – turned around and walking out. Both Cassian and Y/N heard K2SO talking to himself, distinctly, like the droid wanted them to hear.

“Humans are such the peculiar life-forms. I will ask technicians on loading how to understand the humankind programme.”

“Maybe I will tell the technicians to not upload that.”

Cassian sighed loudly, shook his head, and turning to Y/N for opinion. But what he saw was she had been covering her face with her hands in shyness.

“No, I’m gonna tell them myself.”

Cassian joyfully laughed. She still sat and posing as the same. If his eyes were not deceived him, he saw the redness on her temple, her ears, and her neck.

“I should tell you how I feel earlier. But, it's okay, you are lovely when you are like this.”

“Stop it.” She glanced and swiftly pressing the comm, calling a doctor, before Cassian could tease her more.

At the point, she didn’t doubt why K2SO just being K2SO. Because the one who had reprogrammed this imperial droid was just the same as him.

Thank you for reading Your likes, comments and rebloggings are appreciated! 🥰🥰🥰

#cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor x f!reader #cassian andor x you #cassian andor x original female character #cassian andor angst #cassian andor fluff #cassian andor hurt/comfort #cassian andor imagine #cassian andor needs big hug #he is soft please hug him #reader insert #female reader #your original female character #star wars fanfiction #rouge one fanfiction #andor fanfiction #cassian andor #septimaseverinawannawrite

[dameronology]

Cassian angst. Cassian angst. Cassian angst. CASSIAN ANDOR ANGST. Now, as much as I love fluff and smut, please I’m begging for some Cassian angst! Please break my heart🥴🥴 Maybe with the prompt "i love you. i've always loved you."🫣 Thank you and have an amazing day!!🫶🫶🫶

i'm sat in the library at uni rn and i should be writing my dissertation but i remembered this in my inbox and couldn't stop thinking about it

Cassian hadn't meant to piss you off.

But, if there was one thing he had learnt over the course of your relationship, it was that he never meant to piss you off. The intention was absent but the action was...well, it was present. And pretty fucking constant. He didn't often think about his actions (and even less about the things he said) and more often than not, you found yourselves with locked horns and bitter words. It got to the point where people in the Rebellion would tip-toe around the pair of you just for fear of being caught in the middle of it.

You wouldn't have described yourselves as enemies, not by any stretch of the imagination. Friends was a strong word too. Then again, there didn't seem to be a specific term for co-workers who have been each other's partner in crime for like five years and really admire each other and probably wanna fuck but also there's tension and-

-you probably get the point.

You were only in Cassian's life by circumstance, as he was in yours. The Rebellion forced you together and even though you'd always had the option to work alone or partner up with someone else, you never strayed from his side.

Even when you argued constantly. Even when Cassian pulled the dumbest shit.

"You could have at least asked me before you attacked the base!" you hadn't meant to yell. He just brought it out of you. "There were Storm Troopers everywhere-"

"- I don't need your permission!" Cassian cut you off. "I knew what I was doing. I made it out alive, didn't I?"

"Because of luck, Cass," you muttered. "Dumb fucking luck."

He snorted, rolling his eyes and pointing to you. "You wanna talk about dumb luck?"

"Cut the snide comments," you snapped. "You can't keep avoiding the point I'm making - we're partners and you keep making stupid decisions on your own!"

"So even if I made them with you, they'd still be stupid?"

"Yeah, but we'd be making them together."

"I don't get your logic," he muttered.

"We're meant to be a team," you quietly said. "I've worked with you for the better part of five years. I've tried so hard and sometimes it feels like you don't even like me."

"Hey," Cassian's voice went soft all of a sudden. "That's not true-"

"- I can take the yelling and insults, okay?" you continued. "I just can't deal with you not trusting me in the field. That just feels insulting, like you don't trust me-"

"- I trust you with my life," he cut you off. "More than anyone or anything."

"So why do you act like you hate me?" you pushed.

"I don't hate you..."

"What is it then?" you huffed. "What could possibly make you act like I'm your worst fucking enemy-"

"- I love you," he said. "I've always loved you."

"You do?"

"It seems as though there is a fine line between love and hate and how it makes someone act, but I have never been more sure of where I stand," Cassian admitted. "Do you ever see me arguing with anyone the way I do with you? Trying to protect them that way, or care about them that way?"

"No. I don't."

"There you go, then," he smiled. "I love you."

#asks #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor imagine #cassian andor imagines #cassian andor reader insert #cassian andor angst #cassian x reader #cassian imagine #cassian imagines #cassian reader insert #star wars x reader #star wars imagines #star wars x you

[pseudo90sdreaming]

☆ 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙇𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙊𝙣 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙏𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙈𝙚 𝙈𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖 𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝘼𝙣𝙮 𝙋𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙

☆ 𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙧 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 | ~900 𝙬𝙘 | 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙝 ☆ 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨. 𝙫𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙥𝙥 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙝𝙨 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙧, 𝙞 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙙𝙖𝙮. ☆ 𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙚𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙩 ☆ 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙘?? 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙮

"So help me Maker, if you even try to do that again—"

"Yes, yes. You'll kill me, raise me from the dead, beat the shit out of me, and then kill me again."

"And don't even think for a second I won't, (Y/N)." Cassian looked at you pointedly, making an effort to meet your eyes. Wide eyes fixed on you, searching. You always felt rather unnerved under his gaze. It wasn't that you were intimidated by him—you've seen him do things to men you've only heard about in stories, but you were no less sinless—but you were always on edge when he made eye contact like this. When he's judging you? Analyzing your every move? Eyes filled to the brim with fear and worry for his best—his only—friend?

It's hard for you. It's hard to look and see the worry you're causing for the last person who deserves the stress.

At only twenty years old, you thought, he sure as hell looks older.

You patted his cheek, keeping as level of eye contact as you could. "Cassian, don't even worry about it. I'm fine, aren't I? You should maybe worry the day I'm not fine." Your laugh was brittle, but it was better than nothing, you thought.

Your hand was encased in something warm and callused. Cassian had much bigger hands which could easily engulf yours. Against his cheek he trapped your hand, cradling it and desiring its warmth. It was still warm from your recently fired blaster, and he could smell the metal and faintly sour electricity staining your fingertips. Your hand felt good against Cassian's face. It felt welcomed. Familiar. Very familial and safe to him.

He could feel your pulse thrum in your palm. It beat in a sync not unlike his own: it was steady and at a decently set pace; one which told him you would hopefully have a decently long life, given you didn't throw yourself back into Imp gunfire, that was. But your heartbeat felt fiery; something fierce. He could imagine your wit and strength pulling from this life source. He could imagine the blood which pumped from your heart and into your body—into the very hand he cradled to his cheek like gold. He could imagine it carrying your sarcasm and your spunk; your humor and your need to help. All of your anger and hunger for a better life. The pain of the hand dealt at birth, the righteous contempt at the bastard rule of the Empire. Your insecurities and your flaws. Everything you love and hate about yourself: he could feel it all flow through your hands, giving a piece of yourself in everything you touch 

And Cassian hopes he can continue to be selfish like this. Selfish enough to cradle your hand to his cheek, savoring all of it. He hopes he can continue to find a piece of you without restraint. He hopes to always come back home and find himself smothered in the palms of your hands, where you stain him with a blood that smells like jasmine and tastes twice as sweet.

Because to Cassian, this hand is one of the few things he can call his. Not in the way he can say his hand is his own, or a spouse can look at their better half and consider them a piece of themselves, but he could see this hand as the hand of a friend; his friend. The hand of a friend which shared the same ideals as him, which shared in traumas with him. The hand of a friend which had seen too much in so little years and was as dirty as his. The hand of a friend at the ready to reach out and pick up; a hand which caressed his cheek when he needed grounding; when he needed to be reminded that he's real, that he's ok and alive and well, even if caught in the middle of a war.

But you only saw Cassian's shoulders heave. In a slow, languid motion, you watched as years of a rebellion slowly dripped off his shoulders. He looked fragile, as his shoulders drooped and his head bent down. His hair was greasy and shagged; his clothes were worn, stained with dirt and grime and oil. He reeked of blaster fire and death—so much fucking death. There stood a boy trapped in a man's body under neon lights, bathed in cool blues and fiery reds, and never before had you seen your friend look so vulnerable.

You didn't think people could look this broken, but there stood your best friend, a shattered mirror before you.

And it began to cut.

"Please," Cassian's voice breaks. "Don't do something so reckless again. I can't risk losing you too." 

And for the first time, you see something very broken in Cassian. Something you hadn't wished to see before, something you hadn't ever seen before. You see a broken heart. You see how the blood slips past the shards in his eyes and leave rivulets down his sunken, ashy face.

You don't have the strength to do anything other than squeeze his hand back.

#cassian andor x reader #cassian andor x y/n #cassian andor x you #star wars x reader #cassian andor #cassian andor imagine #cassian andor angst #lmao i think its angst #not sure tbh #cassian andor fluff #maybe fluff?? idk if u wanna call it that as well #reblogs would be appreciated tbh #hopes thats not too much to ask for haha #uh yea. hope yall like it!!

[sankta-starkova]

BURN IT DOWN

004; WELCOME BACK

previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

summary: the one where harlow kaz goes into a new mission with her best friend to help the rebellion but ends up meeting a man who changes her life completely

worcount: 1.3k

As they walked towards the camp, Harlow could tell that he was nervous as any human would be walking into a situation like

"Don't worry Cassian, I've got this under control," she said, shaking her head, not looking at him, "I mean Clem,"

When they got close, everyone started to crowd around as they wondered who was walking into camp with Harlow.

"Gather up, we need to talk," Vel said and he recognised her as the girl from earlier.

He looked around at the group and listened to Vel as she introduced him, "This is Clem, I mentioned him earlier and luckily Harlow just arrived with him,"

Everybody that surrounded him seemed nervous and suspicious of Cassian and they had every right to be.

"He'll give us critical redundancy in all areas," Vel said before turning to the group, "That's Skeen, this is Taramyn, Nemik and Cinta,"

"Can I speak with you," Taramyn said, his voice clearly angry and she could tell he was mad at both Vel and Harlow.

"Lets get Clem settled in, Cinta, Harlow, can you two go help him out," she said and the two nodded, Cinta looking at her older sister suspiciously.

"Welcome Clem, we appreciate all the help we can get," Nemik said, a smile on his face.

He knew that of Harlow was trusting this guy then he could as well. They had been best friend since they met at school and he had shared his political manifesto with her.

Cinta led Cassian to the hut closest to them and Harlow told him to sit down, watching as her sister grabbed some stuff from a medpack.

"Am I going to get you to take your shirt off now?" She joked, grabbing two canteens of water, one for each of them, from the side. 

"You're funny," he said, trying to keep a neutral face but a smile peeking out from it.

He looked down at her as she knelt down on the floor, "Okay, let me just-" Hatlow said, rolling up his sleeve and taking the bandage off, wincing when she saw the burn again.

"It doesn't hurt that much, really," he promised, looking into her eyes, a slight smile on his face, "And you did a good job bandaging it the first time,"

There was this sort of charm to cassian that she had never seen before and it made her smile, made her look at him in a different way than she'd ever looked at a man before but she ignored it, pretending it was just that she admired him.

She shook her head, pulling the bandage completely off and grabbing a new strip that they had, the old wound had bled through the last bandage and she didn't believe that it didn't hurt that much.

"Cin, can you grab me a bit booster when you're done over there?" She asked.

"That's a nasty burn, remember we need to save our pain meds 'Low," Cinta said before walking to the other side of the hut to grab the pain medication.

He looked over at her and saw that they looked similar, same dark hair, same subtle smile, same mischievous gleam in their eyes.

"That's your sister," He stated and she nodded, looking over at Cinta. She grabbed the syringe, filling it up slightly with some bacta serum before handing it to her sister.

"This is better than the shit last time," she said, "It's going to heal it faster, and it's going to hurt,"

She placed the needle onto his forearm and he looked away, flinching slightly when she pressed the button as it injected him with the small amount of bacta serum.

Cassian shook it off, looking at Harlow and then at her sister. She followed his eyeline and watched as her sister cleaned everything up.

"Yeah, she's barely twenty years old and look at her, running around and getting this all ready," she said, a smile on her face.

She cared about her sister more than anything and had always sworn to protect her so going on this mission meant she couldn't guarantee her safety. 

"And Nemik?" Cassian questioned, having seen the way the two looked at each other the second they got into camp.

"My best friend," She said, smiling, "Skeen and I get along okay and Taramyn will warm up to you eventually,"

She walked over to her sister, looking back to check on Cassian. When she looked back at Cinta, the girl was smiling.

"You're very friendly with the new guy," she said teasingly, watching as her sisters face heated up.

"I got him out of a situation, but that doesn't matter," she said, shaking her head.

Harlow shook her head, looking back at Cassian before turning to her sister and watching the smile grow on her face.

"Really, cause to me it seemed like you couldn't wait for him to take his shirt off," Cinta said jokingly, a smirk on her face.

She was teasing her because she had never seen her sister act like that around a guy before and there was a high chance they were going to die soon so she wanted to figure it out.

Harlow pushed her arm, shaking her head, "Go to hell," She said before she heard someone yelling.

"You go, I'll look after your guy," Cinta said with a smirk.

Harlow walked off, flipping her sister off as she tried to stop the fighting. When she got out of the hut she saw Nemik who reassured her that everything was okay, it was just about Clem.

"There's nothing wrong with Clem, we can trust him," Harlow said, sitting down next to her friend.

They had been best friends since they were teenagers having gone to the same school in coruscant and the same university, that was where they had decided to change the world and not be like the stuffy politicians that surrounded them.

"I know, he seems to have good intentions," Nemik said, narrowing his eyes at her, "How do you really know him?"

"I saved his arse and that's all that matters," she said, taking a bite from the bread that Nemik handed her.

He knew that she was lying and that there was something else going on but let it go, knowing that she'd explain it in  her own time

"He's nice," he stated, looking over at her, he wanted to see his friends reaction.

"Yeah, bit of an arrogant prick though," she said, laughing at her own comment.

"Yeah, looks like it, but he seems like he is dedicated to this cause," Nemik said.

She shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not sure about that Karis, but I know he's going to be able to help this mission," she suggests.

He was about to respond to her comment and scold her for saying his first name when they heard footsteps in the forest.

They both froze and turned to the forest when they heard a yell. That's when they saw Gorn walking towards them.

"Clem, come on out," Vel called and he stepped out of the hut.

He looked over at Harlow for reassurance and she nodded. Cassian walked closer to the man, eyeing him when he noticed the imperial uniform

"This is Lieutenant Gorn, he's our contact at the garrison," Vel explained.

Gorn was clearly angry at the plan and looked over at Vel, "We need to talk about this," he said, eyes narrowed at the man.

"Here's here and that's all that matters," Vel said, the message being loud and clear to the whole group.

Harlow nodded her head. She trusted Luthen with her life and if he believed that Cassian was vital to this mission, then he was 

#cassian andor x reader #cassian andor x oc #cassian andor x kaz!oc #cassian andor x fem!oc #burn it down; cassian andor #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor fic #cassian andor fanfic #star wars cassian #cassian andor fluff #cassian andor angst #cassian andor #andor series #star wars andor #andor fanfiction #andor #star wars series #star wars angst #star wars fic #star wars fanfiction #star wars #diego luna

[l0caltiredgirl]

when i want fluff/angst fics and all i’m getting is smut

the struggle is real

#don’t get me wrong #smut is great #but a girl wants some angst and fluff #joel miller x reader #din djarin x reader #matt murdock x reader #steven grant x reader #steve harrington x reader #spencer reid x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #derek morgan x reader #jj maybank x reader #rafe cameron x reader #tasm!peter parker x reader #peter parker x reader #marc spector x reader #javier pena x reader #ellie williams x reader #poe dameron x reader #cassian andor x reader #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #logan howlett x reader #daryl dixon x reader #simon riley x reader #bruce wayne x reader #l0caltiredgirl #mike schmidt x reader #sam carpenter x reader #emily prentiss x reader

[djarindroid]

Solace

Pairing: Cassian x Reader

Summary: You're out on your first mission for the rebellion, when things turn south and you have to take your first life you begin to spiral, but luckily you aren't alone...

Warnings: Description of a panic attack & light description of shooting someone.

Comments: More angsty than my previous fics however I have obviously included soft Cassian 💕 I saw the prompt ‘We don’t have to talk, if you don’t want to. We can just sit here together until you feel up to anything else.’ and immediately started writing.

Your world froze as you watched the man in front of you fall to the floor, a thin smoke poured from the tip of your blaster. You’d never fired it outside of training, let alone actually shot at anyone. The alley around you felt as though it was closing in and your chest tightened. You tried to take in a breath but no amount of air seemed to be enough.

The blaster you were holding clattered to the ground as you looked down to your shaky hands. Maker, you’d killed someone. That body on the floor was there because of you, someone had taken their final breath today because of you. Did they have a family? Would someone be waiting for them to return home?

As the thoughts whirred through your head your breathing became shallow and erratic, a cold sweat broke out across your brow. Your vision became blurry as your head felt like it was spinning. All of your thoughts were flooded with images of the man's face as you shot him, and the desperate sound he made as he fell was ringing through your ears. 

You stumbled to the wall, placing your hand on it to try and ground yourself. Your other hand gripped your chest as you heaved in air at an unsteady pace. A nauseous feeling overtook you and you fought back the urge to be sick.

You barely registered the approaching footsteps, you knew you should run or at least prepare to defend yourself, but your body wouldn’t cooperate. It was as though your feet had turned to lead. 

—

Cassian wondered why you didn’t turn when he called out your name. He huffed as he walked down the alley towards where he could see your silhouette. He called you again but still you ignored him, he let out an exasperated sigh as he continued in your direction.

He didn’t want you to come on this mission in the first place, telling General Draven he wasn’t a babysitter and he couldn’t be responsible for someone's first time in the field. The General had insisted and now here you were completely ignoring him.

As he got closer to where you were stood his eyes drifted down to the motionless body. ‘I hope you at least gave him a chance to give you the information before you shot him,’ Cassian grumbled as he nudged the body with his boot. When you didn’t reply Cassian mocked 'What's wrong? Loth-cat got your tongue?’ His smirk was wiped from his face the second his eyes landed on you, you looked like you were about to pass out. ‘Oh shit.’

—

You knew Cassian was talking to you but your brain was far too loud to let his words break through. Cassian’s hands gently touched your shoulders as he turned your body to face him. You looked into his eyes as he rambled on trying to get you to acknowledge him in any way. You focused all the energy you could muster onto Cassian, trying to figure out what he was saying. His voice finally started to get through to you, a faint whisper breaking through the chaos in your mind.

‘Try and breathe with me okay,’ you managed a slight nod. ‘There you go, big one in,’ you tried to copy Cassian, gulping in a big breath, your lungs felt as though they were burning as you did so. ‘Ok, let it out slowly, with me,’ Cassian exhaled slowly and you tried to follow his lead, the air coming out much faster than you intended it too. Your eyes glanced down to where you knew the dead body was lying but before you could see it Cassian twisted you so your back was to it.

‘Don’t look at anything else, keep your eyes on me and just keep breathing,’ Cassian began taking deep breaths again and you tried to replicate him. As you managed to slowly get your breathing under control, Cassian asked ‘Do you think you can make it back to the ship?’ You could only nod in response, not able to form words.

You took a few unsteady steps, following Cassian to the alley entrance. Your brain screaming at you to turn around and face what you had done, it took everything in you to focus on putting one foot in front of the other, fighting to keep moving forward and not look back. Cassian stopped at the opening and looked around the bustling street, he sighed and looked back to you.

‘Its busy out there, take a deep breath and just keep up with me,’ you managed a feeble nod again. You took a deep breath as you emerged onto the busy footpath. You focused on Cassian’s legs, concentrating on keeping your own in sync with his. The noise of your surroundings faded to a muffled hum in your head as your mind was engulfed with thoughts, ‘what if someone saw us walking out of there? If they find the body they’ll know it was me. Oh Maker I killed someone! What if they’re already looking for us now?’ 

Silent tears spilled from your eyes, blocking your vision. You tried to quickly wipe the tears to avoid drawing attention to yourself but in doing so you lost sight of Cassian. Your heartbeat felt as though it was going to pound out of your chest as you frantically looked around trying to spot him. 

—

Cassian weaved through the crowd, his previous annoyance completely forgotten. Seeing you like that had triggered something inside him, and he knew he had to protect you. You seemed so fragile, it made Cassian wonder if that was the first person you’d killed. He knew this was your first mission, but he’d never taken into consideration just how new this would all be to you.

It seemed like second nature to Cassian now, shooting people, but his mind drifted back to the first life he’d taken and he immediately understood the dread you must be feeling. 

He briefly glanced over his shoulder to check on you but you were nowhere to be found. ‘Shit,’ he mumbled as he retraced his steps, hoping you hadn’t been caught. He quickly spotted you whipping your head around, clearly searching for him. Tears were freely falling from your eyes and Cassian felt an overwhelming desire to keep you safe from the horrors you’d experienced. 

As he made his way back to you he vowed silently to not let you go off by yourself again, if something bad needed to happen he’d be the one to do it.

— 

You spun on the spot, trying to look over people’s heads when suddenly you felt a firm grip wrap around your hand.

You went to yank your arm away, fearing you had been caught, but when your gaze followed the arm up to its owner a sense of relief flooded over you. Cassian had come back for you. Without a word, he lightly tugged your hand and guided you through the streets, silently navigating the way back to the ship without dropping your hand once. 

The warmth of his hand enveloped your own. His grip was firm but gentle, and as you walked you couldn’t help but feel a sense of calm flood over you. It was as if his touch was a grounding force, pulling you into the present moment and distracting you from the chaos in your mind. Cassian expertly weaved his way through the crowd, guiding you with a sense of purpose and ease, you felt safe in his presence. 

Even as you stepped onto the ship his grip remained steady and unwavering, a constant source of stability. He carefully guided you to one of the seats in the back, loosening his hold as you took a seat. As he began to turn away panic set in, you swiftly gripped his hand tightly, unable to bear the thought of him leaving you alone right now.

He slowly crouched down in front of you and took your hand in both of his. ‘I need to get the ship started okay? I promise you I will come back to you as soon as I’ve made the jump.’ He looked deep into your eyes, he seemed to understand everything you were feeling and his eyes softened with every passing moment. His gaze never faltered, and you knew you could trust him completely.

You nodded to him again, releasing your tight grip and watching as he hurried to the cockpit. You felt the tightness in your chest begin to return in his absence. Flashes of the man's face flickered across your mind, you felt so weak. You clearly weren’t cut out for this life, the person you looked up to had just had to coast you through a panic attack on your first mission. At this rate this was going to be your last mission, you didn’t think you could bear to go through something like that again.

Your eyes closed as your head fell back, you let out a shaky sigh as you felt the ship rise up into the atmosphere. You didn’t even notice when Cassian made the jump to hyperspace, only becoming aware of it when you felt a presence sitting down next to you. You opened your eyes to find Cassian’s gaze already on yours, and you immediately felt comfort radiating from him.

You opened your mouth to speak, unsure of what you actually wanted to say, maybe a thank you or an apology. It didn’t matter though because no words would come out, you stammered as you tried to collect your thoughts. 

‘We don’t have to talk, if you don’t want to. We can just sit here together until you feel up to anything else.’ 

A small smile graced your face at his words, genuinely feeling at peace in that moment. You hesitantly reached your hand over to his, craving the warmth he gave you. He opened his palm to you, firmly holding you once you slotted your hand into his. 

You didn’t know what your future in the rebellion looked like, but in that moment you knew you’d found solace in Cassian Andor. 

#soft cassian always 💕 #Cassian Andor #cassian andor x you #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor angst #star wars fanfiction #rogue one fanfiction #andor

[tending-the-hearth]

i think my favorite type of relationship trope is "stopped believing in love a long time ago" and "genuinely doesn't think they're worthy of love" falling for each other in the MOST romantic way possible

#the angst that comes from this trope is fantastic and delicious #huskerdust #rebelcaptain #bagginshield #demelurina #solangelo #tuggoffelees #< cats mutuals please tell me i'm not the only one who sees them in this trope #hazbin hotel #rogue one #the hobbit #cats the musical #percy jackson and the olympians #husker hazbin hotel #angel dust #jyn erso #cassian andor #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #demeter #bombalurina #will solace #nico di angelo #rum tum tugger #mr mistoffelees #fanfic tropes

[pedrito-friskito]

REBEL SUNS

cassian andor has a bad habit of losing the things he loves.

the tragedy before the tragedy. before scarif, before jyn erso and the death star, fate had something else planned for cassian. something fleeting and fiery, something he could tell himself over and over that he couldn’t have, that he didn’t need. but something he was given, something he lost…you.

full disclosure: this story is sad as hell. there is no happy ending (we’ve all seen rogue one, we know what happens to captain andor in the end). but I wanted to give him something in the interim, something to fuel his rebellious desire a little further, something to show why he built up his walls, what made him the way that he was by the end. but mostly, I wanted to give him hope.

warnings: MY BLOG IS 18+, MINORS DNI (each chapter will have their own, but please start here before you dive into the story) DEATH, canon-typical violence and injuries, SPOILERS FOR BOTH THE ANDOR SERIES and ROGUE ONE (I highly suggest watching both before reading this if you haven’t already - there are lots of easter eggs and references!), mentions/depictions of blood, kidnapping, brief mentions of torture (no depictions), betrayal, mutual pining, smut, unprotected p-in-v, oral (f and m receiving), swearing, jealous!cassian, typical imperial behaviour (read: a bunch of assholes). reader dies in the end, the final chapter is rogue one from cassian’s perspective after the events of this fic. my askbox is always open if you want a heads up on anything else.

chapters + release dates under the cut!

summaries will be posted after chapters are released. chapters with smut are marked with *, chapters eight and nine contain explicit reader/character deaths.

chapter one: (take me back to) the night we met

cassian finds something familiar in the mud, and gets much more than he bargained for.

chapter two: how rare and beautiful it is (to even exist)

you and cassian pull a job for luthen, and something is starting to form between you and the rebel.

chapter three: just my soul responding (to the heavy heart I’m holding)*

things don’t go as planned on hosnian prime.

chapter four: takes one to know one (you’re a cowboy like me)*

cassian lets his emotions get the better of him.

chapter five: (we are all) living in a dream* - TBA

chapter six: there is a light (that never goes out)* - TBA

chapter seven: a sky full of stars (you light up the dark)* - TBA

chapter eight: (goodbye, goodbye, goodbye) you were bigger than the whole sky - TBA

chapter nine: I know the end (the end is near) - TBA

#rebel suns #my fics #cassian andor #cassian andor fic #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor smut #cassian andor angst #cassian andor fluff #andor fic #andor fanfiction #cassian andor x female reader #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor x you #rogue one fic #rogue one fanfiction #rogue one #andor #tw: death #tw: torture

[writingdumpster]

girlfriend

pairing: Cassian Andor x reader

warnings: language i think

summary: Cassian introduces you as his friend instead of his girlfriend prompting a fight.

word count: 1.4k

You were enjoying a night out with Cassian. He had taken you to a nice restaurant and you had just ordered your food when a woman you’d never met came up to your table.

“Cassian! How are you? I haven’t seen you in a while,” the woman said.

“Hello, Elaine,” Cassian greeted. “It’s nice to see you,” he said.

“Who is this?” The woman asked, referencing you.

“This is my friend, y/n,” Cassian said. You frowned sharply. Friend? You thought. You weren’t his friend. You were his girlfriend. You had been together almost three months.

You made some polite small talk with the woman. Cassian reached across the table for your hand when she walked away, but you drew your hands back into your lap. He frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Cassian asked immediately.

“I just don’t think ‘friends’ should hold hands,” you said.

“What are you talking about?” Cassian asked.

“You introduced me to her as your friend,” you said.

“So?” He questioned. You pursed your lips and took a deep breath.

“So, we’ve been dating for three months. I’ve slept at your house almost every night for the last three weeks. I was under the impression that I was your girlfriend,” you said.

“We haven’t talked about it before,” Cassian said weakly.

“Is that how you think of me? Your friend?” You questioned.

“Do we have to do this now?” Cassian asked. Your expression tightened.

“No, we don’t,” you said shortly. You stood up and grabbed your coat.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Leaving.” You walked out of the restaurant leaving Cassian seated there. He was left dumbfounded and alone as he watched the door close behind you.

When he got back to his house you weren’t there. Your things were, but it was clear you hadn’t stopped there after leaving your date. Cassian stayed up past midnight in the hopes that you might return to him. He had a lot of trouble sleeping alone after he’d spent so much time with you. He wasn’t used to the bed being so cold.

The next day Cassian was helping Brasso with some work.

“Why are you in such a bad mood?” Brasso asked after Cassian snapped at him for the third time that morning. Cassian sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “Y/N and I are fighting.”

“What’d you do?” Brasso asked.

“How do you know I did something?” Cassian asked angrily.

“I just assumed,” Brasso said with a smirk. Cassian grumbled quietly in response.

“I introduced her as my ‘friend,’” Cassian told Brasso.

“But she’s your girlfriend,” Brasso said.

“We never discussed it!” Cassian snapped, already hearing the same argument you had used with him last night.

“Hasn’t she been sleeping at your place for the last month?” Brasso asked.

“But we have never said it before!” Cassian was raising his voice, stuck in the same place he had been with you.

“Well, what did you think she was?” Brasso prodded.

“I know! I know!” Cassian shouted, more angry with himself than Brasso. “I messed up.”

“What did you tell her?” Brasso asked.

“I did not know what to say,” Cassian answered. “She left before I could figure it out.”

“Have you gone to see her?” Brasso asked.

“Not yet. She’s working tonight, but I was going to visit her,” Cassian said.

“Might want to bring flowers,” Brasso suggested.

Cassian walked into the cantina where you worked. You were standing behind the bar making a drink for a man who was seated alone. Cassian approached the bar, choosing a seat one away from the man. You noticed Cassian as he took a seat and scowled harshly in his direction.

“Here you go, sir,” you said sweetly as you placed the man’s drink on the counter. The man smiled at you brightly and his eyes moved down to your cleavage, clearly displayed in your work uniform.

“Thank you, sweetheart, ” The man said. Cassian’s expression hardened at the nickname. You were not this man’s sweetheart. You were Cassian’s sweetheart.

“Don’t call her that,” Cassian snapped at the man.

“Cassian, don’t,” you warned. The man turned to look over at Cassian.

“And why do you care what I call her?” The man taunted.

“She’s my girlfriend,” Cassian spit. You couldn’t help the smile that rose over your lips.

“You? With a girl as pretty as her?” The man asked incredulously.

“I know. I got lucky, didn’t I? You will not if you do not walk away,” Cassian threatened. The man glanced down at the blaster on Cassian’s hip. The man grumbled and took his drink, going to find another seat in the cantina. Cassian turned to you. You had a small smile on your face.

“Can we talk?” He asked. You nodded before letting your boss know you were taking a break and taking Cassian to the empty office in the back of the Cantina. You closed the door and the music turned to a low hum. You turned back to look at him. You stood in front of him, taking his hands in yours.

“You called me your girlfriend,” you said with a smile.

“You are my girlfriend, are you not?” Cassian teased.

“I thought so,” you said pointedly. Cassian sighed.

“I know and I’m sorry,” he said. “I have never cared for someone the way I care about you and I got scared.”

“Are you sure? You actually feel like I’m your girlfriend, not just your friend?” You asked.

“Of course I do. I was just afraid,” Cassian said. “If we are a couple, then it means I can lose you.” You smiled softly.

“You’re not going to lose me, Cass,” you comforted him.

“I know. I just worry,” he said.

“Don’t. You have me. All you have to do is keep me,” you said. Cassian’s lips tipped upwards at your soft voice.

“I brought you something,” he said. You chuckled.

“Are you bribing me to stop being mad at you?” You asked.

“Not a bribe,” he told you. “An apology.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small envelope. “Sorry it’s not wrapped better.” You took the envelope in your hands. It had something heavy in it. You opened the envelope, turning it over to empty the contents into your hand.

A small flat square stone pendant fell into your hand. The stone was blue and had gold lining the edges of it. The pendant was hung on a chain matching the gold lining. There was one small detail that made it special. Laid onto the front of the tile was a gold “C.”

“Cassian,” you gasped softly. “It’s beautiful.” Your eyes were bright and he knew the pendant was the best thing he had ever bought.

“You like it?” He asked as you looked down at the pendant. You lifted your head to look at Cassian with a warm smile.

“I love it,” you said. “Help me put it on?” You requested. Cassian smiled. He took the necklace from your hand and you turned around lifting your hair off your neck. He wrapped the chain around your neck, locking the clasp carefully. He pressed a kiss to the back of your neck before leaning back. You let your hair fall back down as you turned around. You looked down and held the pendant in your hand. You could feel the outline out the ‘C’ as your fingers ran over the pendant.

“I like that,” Cassian said as he looked at his initial hanging around your neck. “Maybe the assholes here won’t bother you so much if they know you’re mine.”

“I’ve got to get you something that’ll keep all the ladies’ eyes off you then,” you said with a smile.

“There’s never any eyes on me,” Cassian said.

“Oh, please. You’re my handsome scrapper who can fly any ship. Every woman’s eyes are on you.”

“Well, I’ve only got eyes for you,” Cassian replied with a smile. You leaned up on your toes and pressed a tender kiss to his lips. His fingers tangled themselves in your hair, pulling your head back and earning a light moan from you. He pushed his tongue into your mouth, moving it against yours slowly. You were losing yourself in Cassian’s affection when the door banged open behind you. You pulled away from Cassian to see your boss standing in the doorway.

“Oi! Stop kissing your boyfriend and get back to work! There’s four tables waiting out there!” Your boss turned out of the room and back towards the bar.

“Yes, sir!” You called. Cassian’s hands were still on your hips. He leaned down and stole another kiss.

“You’ll come back home tonight, won’t you, baby?” Cassian asked. You smiled softly at the idea that Cassian considered you a part of his home. You nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll come home.”

#cassian andor angst #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor fluff #cassian andor x reader fluff #star wars x reader #andor x reader

[hottpinkpenguin]

Reasons, Ch.3 - Cassian Andor series

Female reader insert Summary: You're a droidsmith on Ferrix when a handsome stranger walks in one day with a hopelessly damaged droid. You agree to take on the repairs for the stranger, a decision that will change the direction of your lives forever. Word Count: 2,029 Content Warnings for: canon-divergence; parental death; cursing Taglist: @mithicakurogo @nonniecannie

The chanting crowd fell silent as you stepped forward, your father’s funerary brick clasped in your trembling hands. Your hair was plastered to the sides of your face, cold raindrops running down the back of your neck and mixing with the tears you couldn’t seem to staunch. One of the Daughters of Ferrix smiled gently at you from, standing next to the city wall where your father’s brick was to be placed. She extended a hand towards you, beckoning you forward. You felt your feet carry you towards her. You lifted the brick - now slick with the cold morning rain - and slotted it into the rectangular hole in the wall. You marveled at the way the brick fit into the wall perfectly, indistinguishable from its neighbors. You wondered if you’d be able to find it again, or if eventually you’d walk by the wall and not be able to pick out the only piece of your father that remained. Your vision grew blurry with tears as you tried to keep your lip from trembling. 

“Well done, my dear.” The Daughter of Ferrix wrapped a wiry arm around your shoulders, gently guiding you back from the wall. The solemn crowd lingered a few moments longer before you heard the scattered sounds of wet soles squelching away. You kept your eyes fixed on your father’s brick, burning its location into your memory. The sky grew darker with your mood, rain now falling off the ends of your hair in plump droplets. More of the crowd thinned and returned to their lives behind you. 

You weren’t entirely sure how long you stood there. When you finally turned to begin the journey back to an empty house, only the Daughters of Ferrix and a handful of your father’s oldest friends remained. They took their cue from you and turned to leave, the final remnants of the funerary procession dissolving into the rain. You exited the square in the direction of your shop and your home - as you were now the sole owner of both - without a backwards glance. If you had looked back, you might have seen a familiar face, his dark eyes following your every movement. And although you’d never know, Cassian Andor was the last resident of Ferrix to pay his respects to your father. 

* * * * * * * * *

Three Weeks Later

“Kenth, you and I both know that quote is twice the price we agreed on and I won’t pay it.” 

You narrowed your eyes at the Abednedos junk dealer. Ever since you’d taken over your father’s business full-time, his long-time suppliers had all tried to jack up the prices on your standing orders. You knew it was their way of testing you. Your father had warned you that this would happen in the months before his passing, and you had promised him that you wouldn’t let his suppliers take advantage of you. What your father hadn’t anticipated was how dizzyingly flush with credits you would be, thanks to Cassian’s hefty first payment for your work on his droid. Even though Kenth’s new price would hardly make a dent in the credit stash you now had, out of respect for your father, you set yourself to the unpleasant task of haggling the price down.

“That was the price for your father, girl. This is the price for you. Pay it or walk.” 

Abednedos were notoriously stubborn, and Kenth was no exception. You held his gaze, chewing on your lip as you considered your next move.

“I’ll pay two hundred more than the price you set with my father and not a credit more.” 

Kenth scoffed at your counter-offer, his black eyes filled with mirth. You bristled, eager to end the transaction. Your customer list had grown exponentially in the wake of your father’s death, many of his longest-standing patrons sending you tedious work in what you knew were gestures of condolence. Each moment you spent here haggling over a price you could easily pay ten times over without batting an eye was eating into precious repair time. 

“Four hundred if you throw in that DD-13.” You gestured towards the medical droid in the corner, its smooth black surface glinting in the harsh light of Kenth’s shop. He looked over at the droid thoughtfully for an instant before he extended a hand towards you.

“Done.” You accepted his handshake, returning his grip forcefully. You knew your father would be disappointed that you’d accepted anything higher than what he had paid, but you saw the bargain as a win. DD-13’s were some of the most valuable droids in all the Galaxy, their parts easy to replace and their skillset unparalleled. The fact that Kenth just sold you one for a measly two hundred credits showed you that his knowledge of droids was lacking. You could use that to your advantage in the future. 

“Let’s go, X8.” Your reprogrammed pilot droid chirped cheerily behind you as he wheeled over to the large, wooden crate of spare charge stations you’d just purchased. You counted out the credits you owed Kenth, splaying them on the glass-bottomed desk in front of him. His beady black eyes fixed you with a cold stare as he watched you finish counting out your payment. You’d been careful not to bring too many credits with you: you knew enough of pirates and gangs to know that walking around with too much money put a target on your back. Even so, you had a sum large enough to make you jumpy, and Kenth had noticed.

“Where’d you get all these credits then?” He picked one up, inspecting it against the lights. 

“My inheritance,” you replied coldly. It wasn’t true, of course. Your father hadn’t left you anything but the deed to his shop and the living quarters above it because that was all he had to give. However, you’d learned rather quickly that implying otherwise about your newly deceased father made others uncomfortable, and usually shut down any improper lines of questioning.

Kenth looked conflicted. He was as shrewd as he was stubborn, and you knew that he sensed there was more to the story than what you were letting on. But you also saw the greedy glint in his eyes. After a moment of indecision, he yielded and scooped up the loose credits on his desk. 

“Fair enough. My condolences, by the way.” You nodded curtly, swallowing down the lump in your throat.

With his arms full of credits, Kenth turned and barked something in Abednedish at the DD-13 droid. The tall, humanoid-looking black droid sprang to life and walked over to you. 

“I am S-QL7, your medical assistant,” it informed you, its voice pleasant and sing-songy. You gestured in the direction of X8, who was piloting the hover-lift with the charge station crate on it up into the loading bay of your ship outside Kenth’s shop.

“X8 will make sure you have everything you need,” you replied. S-QL7 strode off with long, loping strides in the direction of your awaiting ship. 

“I’ll be back in three months,” you called over your shoulder at Kenth as you followed S-QL7 out. You exited the shop, eager to get home and make a dent in your customer list.

* * * * * * * * *

Four Days Later

You shot up in bed, your spine ramrod straight with adrenaline as the echo of shattering glass faded in the darkness around you. You reached under your mattress, feeling for your blaster. Your ears strained into the quiet of your quarters, listening for something, anything. A faint layer of sweat beaded over your body as you slid off your bed, careful not to make too much noise as your feet hit the cold concrete floor.

Your hand closed on the muzzle of your blaster as you  heard the muffled sound of crunching glass. Your heart jolted in your chest, the realization that you weren’t alone sharpening your senses. You forced yourself to breathe quietly as you slid your blaster out from its hiding place, careful not to scrape the metal of your weapon against the wooden bottom of the bunk. 

“Y/n? Y/n, are you there?” A vaguely familiar voice was whispering your name from the main room of your living quarters. 

“Y/n, it’s me. Cassian.” 

You froze, fear making you second-guess whether you really recognized the voice or if it was your mind hearing what it wanted to. Your mouth went dry as every muscle in your body went tight, intent on listening.

“I need to talk to you. Are you in there?” 

The voice was getting closer to your room now, soft footsteps tracking the intruder’s presence across the main room towards your bedroom door. 

“Cassian?” Your reply sounded small and terrified.

A shadow materialized in your doorway. 

“Y/n, don’t shoot. It’s me.”

Speaking in normal tones, you recognized the gentle lilt in his voice, an accent you’d never been able to place. You let go of the breath you’d been holding, standing up and flicking on your bedside lamp. The light illuminated Cassian’s sharp profile, casting half his face in deep shadow. He shot you a cautious grin as he tossed his hands up. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” you snapped. With the initial adrenaline surge fading, you were left feeling angry at the intrusion. 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” He closed the distance between you. As he approached, you noted the tense energy that hummed around him, the shifty way his eyes darted over his shoulder as if he expected something - or someone - to be closing in on his back. It reminded you of the first time you’d met Cassian, the afternoon he’d barged into your shop insisting that you fix his hopelessly damaged droid. 

“What’s going on?” you asked. Cassian grabbed you by the shoulders, not enough to hurt but with the pressure of a desperate man. It startled you, although you weren’t entirely sure you could blame your heart flipping over in your chest solely on nerves. 

“Do you have them? The credits I gave you? Tell me you didn’t spend them.” His eyes were wide and pleading, the note of anguish in his voice scaring you.

“Cassian, what are you talking about? Tell me what’s going on.” He shook his head, growing impatient.

“The credits, y/n. Where are the credits?” 

“I have them, they’re here.” You inclined your chin in the direction of your closet, where you kept your credits and other valuables in a small safe at the back. You saw Cassian’s shoulders relax somewhat before you spoke again. “Most of them.”

The same prickle of tension flared to life in his eyes as he met your gaze. 

“How many did you spend?” When he spoke, his voice was barely louder than a whisper. 

“A few thousand,” you replied quietly. The brief flicker of relief splintered in Cassian’s eyes, replaced by a guilt so deep you couldn’t see the bottom. It made you want to reach out and touch him, comfort him. Before you could, his head dropped momentarily, his hands still holding on to the top of your arms as if he were close to getting sucked away in a strong current. When he raised his eyes back to yours, you saw the effort with which he shut out the guilt. 

“We need to leave. Pack only what you can carry.” His voice was so cold it burned. You opened your mouth to argue, a million questions jockeying at the tip of your tongue.

He silenced you with a soft, sad shake of his head. 

“Do you trust me?” he asked, his voice stretched taut between faltering hope and a wretched twang of remorse. The sound stifled every conflicting thought in your throat. Before you knew what you were doing, you nodded in reply. 

“Then pack up. We’re leaving Ferrix. Tonight. I don’t know when we’ll be back… if we’ll be back.” 

You froze momentarily, the gravity of Cassian’s words settling on you like a heavy blanket. You hesitated only a few short breaths before you felt your decision click into place as naturally as a key in a lock. 

This time when Cassian left, you left with him.

*read chapter 4 here If you'd like to be tagged in future chapters, please let me know

#cassian andor #cassian andor imagine #cassian andor x you #cassian andor x y/n #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor angst #andor series #andor imagine #rogue one fanfiction #andor fanfiction #rogue one imagine #rogue one cassian andor #diego luna #diego luna x y/n #diego luna x reader #diego luna x you #diego luna imagine #diego luna fanfiction

[inej-ruination-ghafa]

it's time to go - C.A

evermore masterlist | willow

Warnings: mentions of sex, kissing, main character death, mentions of hanging and shooting, crying, depression

Summary: you had always loved Cassian and knew that he would always love you. But when something unspeakable happens, you don't know where you stand.

Wordcount: 2.1k

You were only 18 years old, barely an adult as you sat on the bench in the square as the snow fell. It was a rare sight on the planet to ever receive snow and you knew that as soon as you were finished waiting for your order then you’d rush to tell Bix and Cassian.

They were your two best friends and you three spent every minute with each other. You and Cassian had been together for around three years ever since school and the two of you were planning to leave this dingy place together.

As the snow fell on the ground, you thought about the gray November weather. The stormtroopers had been here since July and were leaving soon; it was a regular visit to make sure the city was still acting under imperial jurisdiction.

You looked up when you heard someone call out your name and turned to see Cassian rushing towards you, a large jacket wrapped around his shoulders and a bag in his hand.

You stood up, allowing him to pull you in for a hug as you laughed at how dramatic he was. He pulled away, a smile on his face as he looked at you, “You feeling better?” He asked and you nodded.

You hadn’t been feeling great last night and he had come round to stay over at yours for the night and you two hadn’t gotten much sleep.

“Yeah, you always make me feel better Cass, you know that,” you say, a smile on your face.

You were never as happy as you were when you were with cassian. He was like the other half of you, someone that was irreplaceable. You had gone through so much and ran from so many situations but you’d stayed for him and that found you the right thing.

“Morning Clem,” you said, looking over Cassian's shoulder at him.

Clem had always been the biggest supporter of yours and Cassians relationship and would often have the two of you round, allowing you two to close the door even though Maarva would protest, saying she wasn't ready for grandchildren.

“Morning kid, you coming over for dinner tonight?” He asked and you pulled away from Cassian when you heard the man at the counter call your name.

You grabbed the package, thanking him before turning back to Clem, “Of course, Cass mentioned you guys got cheap fish from the market place, I wouldn’t miss that for the world,”

“When did Cass tell you that?” Clem asked, brows furrowed. He only bought it last night and you two hadn’t seen each other since then.

“Uh, did I say Cassian, I meant Bix saw you at the market,” you tried to cover up, her and Cassian sharing a knowing look.

Clem shook his head, “You snuck out again didn't you Cassian,” he said, hands on his hips as he looked at the boy.

He feigned a wince, looking over at Clem, “Ouch, the full name,” he said, a sly smile on his face as he looked over at you.

“You know I don’t mind you spending a night at her house kid, I just don’t want you to get caught by the stomtroopers at night, they might think you’re part of that gang,” he suggested.

Cassian shook his head at his father figure, “Maarva doesn’t like it when I sleep round her house, its just easier this way,” he explained like you weren't even there.

“It’s cause she doesn’t like that you two are sleeping together,” he said and Cassian scoffed.

“Dad!” He exclaimed and Clem shook his head, hiding the smile on his face. Cassian did not often call him dad and even though he was mad at him, it was a nice feeling.

“What!? It’s not like we don’t know, we can hear you when she comes over. You’re both eighteen and it’s okay but could you just leave when the sun is still in the sky,” he suggested, looking between the two teenagers.

“Oh maker,” you muttered to yourself, hiding your blushing face in your hands as you listened to the conversation.

Cassian shook his head, a blush spreading across his face back to all the times that he thought he was good at hiding from his pseudo-parents, “Okay, okay, please stop talking about this,” he said, taking a deep breath, “We can talk about this later, please,”

Clem chuckled, “Yeah, and on that note, me and Maarva need to talk to you about saf-” he started and Cassian stopped him.

“Please stop!” He exclaimed before turning to you just as you began laughing at the absurdity of the situation. He looked down at you, a smile on your face, “What’s so funny?”

“You are quite loud Cass,” you teased, a smile on your face as you grabbed his hand.

Clem nodded his head and you both looked at him. He pursed his lips together, hiding the smile on his face, “You know what love-” he said, shaking his head at the situation he found himself in before he turned to look at Clem, “-this is my announcing that I’m going to be staying at Y/N’s tonight,”

“You know, she stays round ours so much, she might as well just move in instead of paying Seirots prices,” Clem suggested and you looked up at Cassian, a positive look on your face.

“You serious?” Cassian asked, brows furrowed together.

Clem nodded, “I’d have to talk to Maarva first but I think its a good idea, obviously we still need to have a talk,” he said and Cassian smiled.

“I think it sounds good, what do you think, Cass?” You asked, looking up at him with a hopeful look in your eyes.

He smiled, eyes crinkling up in the corners, “Sounds perfect,” he said and you smiled, looking over at Clem with a thankful smile.

He had always been like a father to you, your parents had died when you were younger and three years ago your older sister who had been raising you had been killed in an imperial accident where a ship crashed in the shipyard.

You had always despised the imperials who were in ferrix but you agreed that if they stayed away from you then you would leave them alone, cassian didn’t want you to get into any fights with stormtroopers.

“Hold up a second kiddo,” he said and you froze, realising what he meant when you heard the rhythmic footsteps of the stormtroopers.

Everyone got off of the roads, piling to the sides as they began to stomp through from their rally in the square and you just watched, eyes narrowed at them.

Cassian looked over at you and noticed the tension in your shoulders, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer, watching as you relaxed into his grip.

Clem looked over, a smile on his face as he watched you lay your head on his shoulder as he whispered in your ear. He knew you didn't like the stormtroopers after what had happened with your parents and also knew how much Cassian comforted you.

When they had started to walk away, a group of boys from the other side of the road walked into the street, starting to throw rocks st the stormtroopers.

Clem looked back at you and Andor, placing a hand on the boys shoulder before walking out, trying to stop them.

He pushed them back, trying to stop them from throwing the rocks but they were already too late and the sound of the officer calling the stormtroopers to halt made everyone freeze.

You reached down, placing your hand over Cassians to stop him from running in. He wasn't going to be able to safe Clem and you weren't going to let him go down as well.

Clem seemed to have a similar idea, giving Cassian a look as if telling him not to move.

The stormtroopers walked over and Clem just stood there, hands held up in surrender and you both didn’t move from your spot, eyes glued to him. You wondered if him running away was the right thing but Clem didn’t move in fear that they'd shoot him dead there and then.

You never would have thought that what happened next would ever happen to someone as honourable as Clem.

The next day, you walked into Cassians room, standing at the door as you looked at him. You didn't know what to say and the only thing you wanted to do was run and avoid the conversation but that wasn't the right thing to do.

Clem had been hung in the square the night before for attacking the empire and she hadn't seen Cassian since..

He sat on his bed, head in his hands. His dinner was cold next to him and the room was silent except from the occasional sob from his chest. You’d known Cassian for just under ten years now and you’d never seen him so broken-hearted and you knew he had the right to be, his father had just been hung in the square for something that he didn't do.

“Cassa,” you called out, a nickname that you had realised meant a lot to him. He didn't look up, another sniffle coming from his chest and you slowly walked over.

You knelt down in front of him, taking his hands and you knew you’d sit there until your knees bled and you’d give him your all, even if he gave you nothing back. You just wanted to be there for him.

At that moment you didn't notice how he had changed, a wall being built up inside him to protect himself as he held his past behind the walls in his mind. But even if he was ready to shut everyone out, you had to remind him that he’d always have you.

“Look at me,” you said and he pulled his hands away from his face, looking down at you.

His face was red and his eyes were puffy from all of his crying, in all the years you’d known Cassian he'd only cried a handful of times and it was never to this extent.

“I love you, you know that right,” you said and he nodded, “Then you can tell me anything,”

He didn't say anything, tears building up in his waterline. He didnt know how to phrase how he was feeling. He just wished that he had been able to have that dinner with you and his family where he'd discuss you moving in further.

He wished the stormtroopers had never even walked near the street you were on and that Clem hadn’t tried to help those kids. He wished that he had been laying in your arms this morning, a satisfied smile on both of your faces as he caressed your face in the morning sunlight. He wished that you had packed your bags and moved into his small two bedroom house because you’d fit there.

But now there was a hole in his heart and he didn’t know how to say anything and instead he just turned away from you, pushing your hands away. Everyone around him always got hurt and you weren't going to fall for that curse.

You understood that he needed some time to get over everything before he talked about it so you placed your hands in your lap, looking up at his face.

“It’s okay,” you said, pressing a kiss to his cheek, “I think it's time for me to go,”

He didn't protest against your decision and a tear fell down your cheek. You stood up, a hand on his shoulder slipping away as you turned on your heel, walking towards the door.

You paused at the door, hand against the cold handle when you heard him let out a heavy sob, calling your name out.

You turned to look at him, eyes soft as you saw the tears streaming down his cheeks, “Don’t go,” he said, words almost a beg. You just nodded, turning around and pulling him into a hug.

You held him, relishing in the familiar warmth of his touch. You knew the ache in his chest from the loss of his father and that it wasn't ever going to go away but for now, you weren't going to go anywhere.

#cassian andor x female reader #cassian andor x reader #cassian andor x you #cassian andor x y/n #star wars x you #star wars x reader #star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars fandom #andor spoilers #andor series #andor show #sw: andor #cassian andor #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor imagine #cassian andor fluff #cassian andor angst #cassian andor fic #star wars fic #clem andor #maarva andor #diego luna #mj writes nonsense #mj 500 followers celebration #mj 500 followers evermore celebration #evermore celebration

[mylovelies-docx]

Social Cues

A/N: Wow. Okay. So it's been a couple of years since I've written anything and since I promised everyone that I was working on a Cassian fic.

Welp. Here's that fic now - only two years later than I was expecting.

My bad.

Take this 20k fic as an apology/your due/something that I wanted to give you years ago.

Plot: You and Cassian go undercover as a married couple, but things take a turn for the worst when your past finds you.

C/W: Angst, slow burn, hurt/comfort, reader has an abusive mother (featured heavily), gendered reader (daughter), no use of Y/N, *SMUT* (18+, Minors DNI), Not beta'd, also not proofread (if I spent any more time on this, I would never get it out here). Probably more, let me know if I need to include something.

I started writing this before the show came out (which I have not watched... I know, I know.) Anyway, as is always the case with any Cassian fic that *I* prefer, there is no such thing as canon.

“Married,” you echo quietly in disbelief. You have never been more shocked in your life; and when you quickly glance over, Cassian apparently hasn’t been, either. His jaw is tense and his eyebrows have raised slightly.

General Draven had just dropped the specifics of your mission, and it was not one that you could have anticipated. You and Cassian were to pose as a married couple that had just moved into an affluent neighborhood full of Imperial officers, weapons dealers, and senators.

In other words, right into a Sarlacc pit. Only this situation was thrice as deadly.

“With all due respect, General, this isn’t something either of us have experience with. Would it not be better to send Rishi and O’tal?” Cassian suggests diplomatically. 

You nod your head at Cassian’s idea, showing your support. Rishi and O’tal are a real married couple in intelligence for the Alliance, so they are uniquely fit for this specific placement. 

“They’re currently on assignment right now. And besides: you two are the best intelligence officers we have. Mothma and I don’t want this handled by anyone else.” Draven’s compliment of your abilities would have been more than enough to placate you if you weren’t still reeling from the previous revelation.

“Yes General, I know what you’re saying and I thank you sincerely for the commendation, but I’m still unsure if this is a wise decision,” you rebut. You have never once doubted a mission assignment, and you know Cassian hasn’t either, but this was territory neither of you have ever found yourselves in. “This will be the first joint mission for either of us. Would it not be possible for a different relationship? Perhaps a hired guard would suffice for one of us?”

Sure, you’ve seduced and courted marks before, but bringing along a partner that you needed to present a sense of physical and emotional intimacy with? That is something entirely out of your realm of expertise.

Draven is stationed at the head of the table, using the projection screen in front of him to present information, schematics, and diagrams. From his vantage point, Draven watches a slight frown mar Cassian’s face at your suggestion, but it’s gone just as soon as it appears.

“I understand your hesitancy, Captains, but rest assured that we have exhausted all other avenues,” Draven consoles. “But you both will be in control of the gritty details, so you can make it work. We’re only providing the accommodations and whatever alibis you require.”

“Yes, sir.” You and Cassian acquiesce with no further argument. You look at Cassian out of the corner of your eye, hoping he can’t see the real reason for the hesitation.

This is going to be an adventure neither of you can prepare for.

***

“This is going to be a difficult enough mission, so I think sticking as close to the facts as possible is our best option,” you explain to Cassian, jotting down bullet points and ideas on your datapad to relay back to Mon Mothma and Draven so that they can fabricate your history once it’s been decided.

“I estimate a 33% chance of your entire plan falling apart, Captain (Y/L/N),” K2 chimes in.

“Agreed.” Cassian ignores K2’s comment and speaks directly to you. “We can use our first names for simplicity, but we need a surname,” Cassian recommends from the co-pilot's chair. 

“Would you like to know why?” K cuts in.

You appreciate the fact that you and Cassian are on the same wavelength about using your own names. You haven’t discussed it with him yet, so your similar logic on this bodes well for the rest of the discussion and the mission as a whole.

“Why don’t we just stick with Andor, for simplicity’s sake? It’s a common enough name and you’ll respond right away if someone calls for us. Plus, we both go by so many codenames that no one will ever think to search for us by this one.” 

You’re swiping away on your datapad to avoid either of them seeing your reddened cheeks, so you don’t see Cassian’s ears flush subtly at your suggestion as well. Your heart flutters madly, causing a pang in your chest to the beat of your ‘new’ name.

Cassian clears his throat and readjusts in his seat. “That could work,” he remarks coolly while rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

K2 turns his head quickly to observe Cassian, the metal joints whirring with the motion. The droid begins to speak and Cassian glares at him, but there is no reigning in K2.

“Because two can keep a secret only if one of them is dead,” K elaborates on his one-sided talkingpoint, still observing Cassian’s reaction to your recommendation on becoming Mrs.Captain Andor, however temporarily.

You hurry on to get your mind off the impossible fantasy the name has conjured up for you. “Great. I’m just trying to think of the likely scenarios that will be brought up at dinner parties or Imperial galas. Obviously how we met, connections to the Empire…”

K is just being a bugslut with his next comment.

“And I’d prefer if it was Cassian who remained living.”

The aforementioned man shoots K2 another glare, wordlessly saying “behave”. The droid shrugs his large mechanical shoulders and mimes a zipping motion with his fingers over his audio port.

You roll your eyes at K2’s insistence that your plan will be a failure and at his obvious distaste for you. You’re unsure what it is about you that he finds so distasteful, but you find yourself wishing he tolerated you a little more. Perhaps then, Cassian would join Rogue One more often on small adventures and get-togethers.

Being around Cassian is easier than being with anyone else; you don’t seem to exhaust yourself as quickly or as often with him. He is a source of calm, controlled energy that speaks to the weary parts of your soul.

Focus. 

“So. Instead of saying we met during a Rebel council meeting, how about we meet in the middle of truth and lie? Keep the time frame the same, just change the location. So for instance: we met five standard years ago at the launch of an Imperial class-II Star Destroyer. There were so many of those around that time that no one should question it – and even if they do, we could pretend we were too drunk on Merenzane Gold or love or whatever to notice anything but each other.” 

You are proud of yourself for keeping this discussion so professional despite your intrusive thoughts. Your heart is racing and your hands are slightly trembling with anxiety, but your voice is steady and you still sound confident. Maker! Why can’t you find the same focus and steadfastness that you have on missions? You can only hope that your professionalism will kick in once you land and begin the assignment in earnest.

“You were wearing a pink dress,” Cassian murmurs, staring distantly at the stars passing over the cockpit’s transparisteel. He mutters it to himself mostly, but you still hear.

You snap your head up, eyes large and mouth slightly parted, finding that he has his hand spread across the lower half of his face with his head turned away from you. You had been operating remotely for the Alliance for a while in various social circles and planets prior to settling down on base. You had just finished with a mission and were wearing a pink dress when you met Cassian for the first time during a debrief of your findings.

You shouldn’t be surprised that a man who had grown up as a spy can recall details as small as what you had been wearing, since you can also do the same. But you had been absolutely nothing to him then, so why would he bother to pay you any attention?

“And you had your A280-CFE heavy blaster strapped to your thigh,” you divulge. 

Your mind is still trying to wrap itself around the fact that Cassian had been watching you for far longer than you realized. He turns his head to look at you in surprise and catches your eye. Your puzzled expression is revealing too much of your thought process, so you drop your gaze from his and return to your holopad.

K2 breaks the tension with his usual tact.

“There’s a 93% chance you’re both lying to yourselves.”

“That’s enough, K,” Cassian reprimands, not for the first time.

“I’m only stating facts and highly calculated odds,” K defends himself.

“Facts as you see them,” you point out distractedly.

“Oh, I see a lot more than you do. A lot more.”

You’re still too self-involved to reply further and Cassian steers the conversation back to a safer topic: your mission. 

“Anyway.” He clears his throat. “Let’s say we were dating for...six months? Eight months? Enough time to get to know each other, but short enough to accommodate our ‘love at first sight’.” Cassian lets out one compact ‘ha!’ at the notion of falling in love with a total stranger without knowing who they were.

“Eight months seems reasonable. That would give me a few opportunities to let you meet family and friends, and vice versa. Speaking of: do we have any?” you question, back to yourself after banishing any and all thoughts of Cassian’s motivation to study you so intently. You can only hope to gather more data as the mission progresses.

“Hmm,” Cassian ponders, unsure what option would be best. He scrubs a hand across his stubbled chin and cheeks in thought. “No family seems suspicious, but we don’t want to create too many to keep track of.” He reasons out. “These people are well-connected and will be looking into our history, so we need to think of how our team back at base can create the strongest alibi.”

“True. And there’s no doubt they would recognize our infamous friends by name. That really narrows down our options.” Your lips are pursed to the side in thought and your chin is resting on your closed first. 

Your thinking pose works because you have an idea come to mind. Cassian stops his musings on ‘our friends’ to find your delighted expression when he turns at your little ‘a-ha!’ and finger snap.

“Do you remember anything about my mission on Aria Prime? My alias had a few family members we can repurpose.” You’re relieved that you’ve figured out a way to use established plants and make the intelligence officer’s work back at base easier.

“Antolin and Mauria, yes?” He confirms.

“Yes,” you verify, flustered yet again by Cassian’s attention to detail. “I’m glad you read my report – makes this easier for us.” 

“I read all your reports,” Cassian remarks before realizing his error. “I mean. I-I read all the reports. Everyone’s. It’s best to have a clear understanding of the bigger picture,” he corrects hastily.

You’re struggling to understand why, why, why, but your heart flutters nonetheless at the small thrill you receive. 

“Like I said,” K-2SO’s modulator is pitched to where only Cassian can hear, “lying to yourselves.”

***

This discussion had started a parsec ago, but is still going with no end in sight. Neither of you can agree on this, but neither are willing to yield.

“The more we use pet names, the less people will remember our real ones. First introductions we only give our names once and then use only nicknames after. People like them will be too embarrassed to have forgotten a name and won’t ask for them again.” 

Cassian is making excellent points, but your insides squidge in a nice uncomfortable way whenever he offers up an example. You can’t help but remember all the times your marks had forgotten your name, so they used demeaning pet names to refer to you. Maybe that’s why you were so easily onboard for using your names on this mission when you’ve never done it before. One: because it’s easier, and two: because you don’t feel as if you hear it spoken often enough.

Three: because you don’t want Cassian to forget your name when this war eventually claims your life.

You’re making yourself unduly anxious with the thought of that eventuality, and your response comes off melancholic. “They won’t remember me anyway.”

Cassian is thrown off by this. How could anyone forget you? He had a hard time not thinking about you some days. 

“Why do you say that?”

You give him a sad sort of expression, a wry smile turning your lips. “Isn’t that our job?” you question him. “Making yourself completely unrecognizable to the point that if your target ever saw you again, they wouldn’t even notice?”

Cassian can see where you’re coming from, but the look on your face and the tone of your voice makes him wonder at how lonely you feel during missions.

“As long as you are yourself around those you care about, it makes it worth it. Yes?” Cassian counters.

A small, wondering smile graces your lips as you lean back against the hold and look up. “Yeah, I guess so…”

You’re thinking of all the fun you have with Jyn and Bodhi when she drags you both away from base to explore, or when you’re all laughing at the exasperated look on Baze’s face when Chirrut walks into blaster fire with only his prayers to guide him. 

Or when you catch the relieved look Cassian throws you after a near-miss, like he’s impossibly glad that you’re okay. You always point finger-blasters at him with a smirk, trying to diffuse the situation, but he usually just shakes his head and tells you to focus.

Ahh. There you are, a voice in your mind whispers suddenly. It’s a cool and sinister voice, one you had not heard in some time.

You startle, knowing that the disembodied voice cannot see you physically does nothing to prevent a sense of overwhelming fear from taking over. You try to take a series of deep breaths to calm your racing heart and slow the pounding of blood in your ears. Hoping repetitive and familiar motions will calm you down and refocus your mind, you begin to rub up and down one arm with your knuckles. With the amount of pressure you’re using, you’ll end up with bruises but the dull pain helps.

Cassian sees you fidgeting out of the corner of his eye, but when he turns toward you, you’re already up and walking to a more private area.

“E-excuse me,” you stutter out. Your legs feel weak and you run one hand along the wall to keep you steady.

“Are you okay?” Cassian asks, preparing to stand up and follow you.

“Yeah. Yeah, ‘m fine. Just give me a moment.” Your voice is quiet, but you throw a shaky smile over your shoulder to try and stop Cassian from following you. You make it to one of the rooms and slide in, the door hissing closed behind you.

“That,” K2 says.

“What?” Cassian asks his companion, confused by the non sequitur.

“That is precisely why I don’t trust her. She hides too much,” the droid explains.

“She’s one of us, K,” Cassian defends. “We all have secrets.”

“Yes, but our secrets don’t make us run away. She’s hiding something big: I know it.” The droid asserts, giving his head one sharp nod to drive the point.

***

You survey the progress of your “home” being put together from the lofty heights of the balcony overlooking the foyer. Everything is white and gray and black, mimicking the Empire’s color scheme.

You hate it.

The only pop of color is your elaborate dress. The emerald gown is the height of Coruscant fashion, and you needed everyone who saw you and Cassian dock to know that you are important people.

Your quarters span the top two levels of one of the tallest towers in a swanky residential sector. The prestigious location alone should influence everyone’s opinions, but you also need to look the part of a spoiled and arrogant wife. So you have to dress and act accordingly.

You sense Cassian walking up behind you; his presence is unmistakable and you recognize his gait as his shoes tap against the expensive flooring. 

Your fingers grip the balustrade imperceptibly tighter, the only reaction you will allow yourself. Since shutting down on the U-wing to try and prevent the voice’s return, you’ve been able to keep your thoughts and emotions in check: no racing heart, blushed cheeks, or errant feelings. This is the only way you know how to keep your mind your own.

Cassian places his hands on either side of yours, trapping you between his warm body and the railings. His chest is pressing into your back and his sharp chin is resting on your shoulders. You weren’t prepared for this level of fake intimacy so soon, so your breath hitches in your throat and escapes as a soft gasp. You feel his warm breath fan across your ear as he pretends to nuzzle into your neck.

“Kay and I placed the data collectors throughout the public rooms.” Cassian mumbles, moving from one side of your neck to the other. You tilt your head in the semblance of allowing him room to kiss along your skin, growing hot where his breath fans now and goosebumps where it had once been. “We’re ready for the company to arrive.”

“Hmm,” you hum in acknowledgment. You’re developing a pit in your stomach at the proximity, but you grasp Cassian’s hands under yours for the illusion. Your palms are sweating and you’re sure that Cassian can feel it, but he continues resting his lips near your ear.

You glance down at the individuals moving your furnishings throughout the rooms, catching one gray-skinned and multi-eyed lifeform watching the two of you surreptitiously. You scowl down at them, feeling Cassian’s head turn enough to give them a side-eye as well. They turn back to arranging the many fire-waters and spirits you bought in preparation for your first gathering as new residents.

Some aliens begin making their way from where they were setting up the sleeping quarters behind you and Cassian. As they’re passing, Cassian pulls away from you. You take a deep breath to recenter yourself and cool your skin.

“Come, Love. Let’s break in the new bed,” Cassian says, loud enough for the passing workers to overhear.

You feign a saccharine smile and allow him to place his hand on the small of your back. Cassian leads you to your shared bedroom, dropping contact as soon as the door closes behind the two of you. You both sweep the room for any foreign devices and find none. You remain standing on opposite sides of the room, aware of the awkward atmosphere.

“I am sorry for that. A few of the workers were watching us,” Cassian apologized. One hand is scratching the scruff along his chin to hide his discomfort.

“I saw. It was an effective way to give them observations to take back to their superiors if some are spies like we suspect.” You carefully place yourself on the edge of the luxurious bed, taking this time to rest your feet before you need to get ready for the evening’s plans.

“Yeah…” Cassian draws, giving you a quizzical look. 

He knows that you’re on a mission now, but your tone and mannerisms are throwing him off. He always felt at least a sense of comradery with you, but this pliant and civil manner you’ve taken up bothers him for reasons he won’t can’t name.

You ignore his probing eyes. The voice in your mind is too recent an experience to let yourself relax even slightly. Your muscles are rigid from the straight posture of the elite woman you’re playing and from the stress of keeping your mind calm and under control. A headache is starting to form.

“I take it that K is situated?” You inquire of Cassian as you stand with bare feet. You pad over to the extensive closet space, selecting an outfit for tonight.

“Yes. He’s taken the ship to the lower levels and will stay there while we’re here; he’s close enough if we run into any issues.” 

Cassian’s voice is still low as he follows you to the wardrobe, just in case any of the movers are lurking outside the door. You both stand back to back as you each survey your arsenal of clothing for this mission. You run your hands lovingly over the soft fabrics, happy that your sensitive skin won’t have to endure anything rough for this mission. Cassian’s clothed shoulder blades scrape along your exposed back, sending imperceptible shivers down your spine. 

You quickly pull out a beautiful dress and move away from Cassian. You call over your shoulder to him as you near the refresher. “I’m wearing pink, unless you don’t have anything to match.”

“Of course I do. You selected the wardrobe,” he reminds you. 

You hadn’t seemed yourself since the ship, which Cassian picked up on immediately since you were so sure and confident at the beginning. He is trying hard to understand your abrupt change.

You shut the door on Cassian and take in the immaculate space around you. You hang the dress so it can air out while you apply your makeup and arrange your hair and try to enjoy the solitude while you can, knowing that tonight and all the nights to come will wear you thin. 

***

Cassian comes in a while later, taking note of your elaborate hairstyle and details of your thoad-eye makeup. He feels the nearly overwhelming need to comment how stunning you are and how similar you look now to when he saw you that first time, but holds his tongue. He doesn’t want to make this any more awkward for either of you.

You had been staring listlessly into the mirror before you until Cassian walked in. You can barely recognize the person staring back; hollow eyes, down-turned lips, dull skin. She isn’t you, but she is who you need to be until you’re sure the phantom hasn’t found you.

You move your eyes to study Cassian as he stands in the doorway. He looks handsome in his party-ware, the organic tones complementing his features and your pastel gown nicely. But you don’t dwell on how the sight alone of Cassian in something other than his everyday wear threatens the stability of the winged creatures in your stomach. You want them to be dormant, need them to be, but something about the man behind you sets them to tittering.

Since closing yourself off from your emotions and the galaxy at large, you have come to realize that you haven't been as careful as you should have. Despite your better judgment and without conscious effort, you have formed attachments in the Rebellion. Found yourself building relationships that mean something to you. Your fellow rebels from Rogue One are your life-line in this never-ending war.

Your bond with Cassian is one you are especially fond of.

You have grown to care for the man in a way that you know you shouldn’t. Your detachment now allows for you to reflect on your feelings in an objective way, understanding that you put yourself and the entire Rebellion at risk without fully realizing.

It stops today.

You harden what little bit of your heart you can still feel and fill in the small, Cassian shaped hole that had started to carve itself there.

You take your eyes from where they had locked onto his own. You can sense his hesitation to approach you and his inner turmoil that feels so like your own had earlier in the day. So while dabbing under your eyes for fallout and around your lips to neaten the line, you speak up.

“I’ll be done in time to greet our guests with you, but I need a few moments.”

Your voice is flat and devoid of any warmth that it once held for the man. Cassian notes immediately that your countenance has taken another turn, one that has pulled you even further away from him. His chest tightens. He sets his mouth in grim acceptance and leaves with a small nod in your direction.

***

All throughout the evening, a sense of foreboding had settled itself deep in your bones. You can feel it getting heavier and heavier as the party drags on, weighing down your body and worsening your already sickening headache. You continue to laugh and smile demurely despite it, but the bright light from the chandelier hanging above your head is sending bolts of pain behind your eyes.

In order to present a united front to these Imperial officers and sympathizers, Cassian has his arm wrapped around your waist and you’re resting your hand over top of his on your hip. The warmth of his hand as it caresses your curves sends heat between your thighs completely against your will. Your mind and heart know what you can’t have, but your body has wants of its own.

When an interesting piece of information comes up in conversations, one of you will squeeze the other’s hand in silent communication to pry further. It arose through no effort on either of your parts, but Cassian feels the rightness in the subtle exchanges. It feels like you’ve been partners for longer than a day, fake married for longer than a day, fake intimate for longer than a day with the way it feels to hold you. 

He can’t get over the rightness of having you in his arms. It’s unlike anything he’s ever felt, even with the few past partners he’s allowed himself to have between missions. He can feel the heat of your skin beneath his palm and through the fabric of your dress, making him want to pull you all the more closer as the night wears on and the open windows bring a chill to the crowded room.

You’re both in the middle of a conversation with a commanding officer when it feels as if all the air has been sucked out of the room, like a cabin losing pressure out in space. Your eyes widen and your heart races as your sense of foreboding from earlier ramps up into full fight-or-flight mode. You’re hastily scanning the faces in the room, terrified.

Cassian feels you tense in his arms. With a quick glance at your face, he knows something is wrong. Your eyes are flickering around the room and the pulse in your neck is prominent against the stiffness of your body. He tries to catch your eye or squeeze your hip, but he gets no response.

Quickly and subtly shifting your body behind his, he excuses the two of you from your conversation. You don’t feel yourself moving, too caught up in trying to find the source of this feeling. 

You’re intimately familiar with this presence, having spent years in its company. You had tried so hard and traveled lightyears away in order to escape, but all your efforts seem futile now. You should have gone into hiding, should have locked yourself away on a little no-name moon, should have done something more. 

A whimper escapes your mouth without permission, and Cassian’s heart lurches at the frightened sound. He’s always known you to be the bravest, strongest person he has ever met, but the woman in his arms right now looks like a scared child, looks like someone he doesn’t know. He would take your cold and detached manner from the previous day over this. 

Because this? This scares him. And Cassian does not scare easily.

He leads you into a secluded area of the penthouse, away from prying Imperial eyes and whatever has caused your body to convulse with tremors. He still has his arm wrapped securely around your waist holding you close to him, and his other hand has a gentle but firm grip around your upper arm that is pressed tightly into his side. Cassian is practically dragging you away as your knees refuse to hold you up.

Cassian finds a small cupboard furthest away from the party. He looks around to be sure no one is near enough to listen in, and pulls you inside. A dim light turns on above your heads and Cassian places you gently against a wall. You start to slide down, but he puts his arms under yours, giving you support.

You can still feel her, can sense her proximity and her sinister presence in the back of your mind. It’s been so long since you were last with her, but your body must have known somehow that she was drawing nearer. Your headaches and anxiety that had only heightened throughout the party should have made you think.

But you didn’t.

Having Cassian at your side had made you feel safe, no matter that you were actively avoiding having any feelings for him. You have known his character well from watching and interacting with him over the years, learning to trust him and his calm and reserved nature. You were remiss in thinking that you could keep yourself and your feelings away from him during this mission. 

Now that the walls you carefully constructed on the ship have crumbled around you, you can’t help but feel again. Can’t help but feel the warmth radiating from his chest and into yours from where he’s standing so close to you. Can’t help but feel his breath against your face as he’s begging you to tell him what’s wrong. Can’t help but feel the pressure in your head slowly dissipating as you force yourself to breathe in time with Cassian’s instructions.

You readjust against the wall after a short while, standing taller and trying to regain feeling in your legs. Cassian’s hand shifts from the wall and cups the side of your face so that he can look into your eyes. You can see the question in his concerned gaze and answer in a still-weak voice.

“My… my mother. She’s here.”

Cassian’s brow furrows slightly as he wonders what that could mean for you and this mission. He opens his mouth to ask for more details, but you shake your head.

“She’s - we’re - I don’t know!” You cry out softly. You bring your hands up and grasp the lapels of Cassian’s shimmersilk jacket as you try to ground yourself and explain. “She’s in my head, Cassian. I can feel her. I can hear her. I couldn’t get away, and now she’s found me.” 

You suck in a deep breath through trembling lips. You look deeply into Cassian’s eyes, watching as a dawning understanding fills them. 

“I’m scared, Cassian,” you admit.

Cassian wraps both of his hands around your head with his palms against your neck, using his thumbs to sweep softly under your eyes, catching the tears that had fallen without you noticing. Your breathing is still stuttering in and out of your lungs, and Cassian can feel your pulse as he continues to stroke your cheeks.

“I know. I know, Princessa. But it’s okay, we can figure this out together, hm?” Cassian murmurs to you. 

You nod your head and close your eyes as you lean back against the wall, drained of energy. Cassian takes both of your wrists into one of his and holds them against his chest when he feels your grip slacken, hoping that you can feel his heart’s rhythm and use its steady beat to come back down from your adrenaline rush.

“What do we need to do?” Cassian asks after a moment. “I can signal K and we can leave right now.”

You shake your head as you look back at him. You can’t let this opportunity for information slip away because of you. And you’re definitely not giving K-2SO any more reason not to like you.

“No. No, Cass, I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Just… give me another moment or two. Please,” you implore. 

Rational thought is coming back to you as you finally match Cassian’s heartbeat and breathing. You start to feel embarrassed about your breakdown, but Cassian’s sympathy and understanding prevent you from doing so. You’re now focusing on the shift in your mission.

“The good news is I’m using my real name, so she can’t ruin us immediately,” you begin slowly. “The bad news is now we have to contend with her story and timeline of events. I haven’t been with her since I ran away, Cassian. I haven’t spoken to her in years, but she’s been in my head a few times since then.”

What you have to tell Cassian next is hard, but he needs to know. For your own selfish needs, you want somebody to know what you’ve been through. 

“She… she studied under the Sith in her childhood, but never completed training. When she had me and realized I was force sensitive…” You’re pleading with your eyes and your grasping hands on his jacket once more. “She raised me on the Dark Side. To become the Sith she never could be.”

Cassian tries to pull away from you, shocked and angry by your perceived betrayal. His face hardens and his hands drop away from you, but you’re quick to hold tighter to him, keeping him from leaving you.

“It’s not what you’re thinking, Cassian! I never joined the Rebellion for her or anyone else. I stopped training and cut myself off from the Force after my 16th year because I knew what she was teaching me was wrong. I joined you because I wanted to make up for all the awful things she made me do, to give myself over to a cause that I believe in.

“I never intentionally put the Rebellion in danger. Every time she found my consciousness, I shut myself away from whatever I was feeling that let her in and left the base until I was sure she hadn’t found me,” you explain. “I don’t know why she’s here now, but it can’t be good. We have to find out, and I’m the best shot we have.”

You can see Cassian’s mind moving at lightspeed to determine if he can trust you. You’ve never given him any reason not to, but this secret is explosive enough to shake his faith in his own discernment. His eyes are shifting between yours, staring into each to find any trace of duplicity. You keep your expression honest and open. It’s the first time you’ve ever presented your emotions – true and real emotions – to someone. You’re vulnerable in this state, but Cassian needs to see it.

And he does. Cassian’s shoulders drop imperceptibly and the tension you can feel under your hands loosens.

“Does Mon Mothma know? She’s the one that recruited you, yes?” He asks, looking for a solid reason other than his gut instincts to guide his decision.

You nod. You hadn’t told her the full truth all those standard years ago, but she knew enough to think of you as a worthwhile risk.

Cassian exhales and reaches for your hands where they clutch at him. He gives them a squeeze in acceptance and you can’t stop a small smile from coming to your lips in relief.

“What’s your plan?” He asks you, deferring over to you on how this mission should move forward now that there’s a massive obstacle to manage.

“I think…”you hesitate, already dreading the series of events your next words are going to set in motion. “I think I need to get close to her again. Not ‘close’!” You reassure Cassian when a troubled look comes over his face. “Just make her think I’m still on the Dark Side. Being here already lends itself to that.”

“I don’t know. Putting yourself directly in her path like that is dangerous,” Cassian reasons.

You give a short laugh and look at Cassian with amusement. “We’re Rebel Intelligence currently undercover with elite Imperial officers and weapons dealers. I think we’ve been in danger.” 

Cassian mimics your small grin and rattles your hands around a bit. “Smart aleck.”

You’re feeling better than you have been since the U-wing. A weight has lifted from your shoulders and now you can breathe easier, safe in the knowledge that someone knows your secrets. Knows a large part of you, and doesn’t hate you for it.

Cassian’s smile fades. He doesn’t want to interrupt whatever this moment is, but you need to go back to the party. 

“I’m going to signal K-2SO; we might need him for security.” At the thought of K running his mouth off near all these officers, Cassian decides that he’ll instruct the droid to disable his modulator. “Are you ready?” he asks.

Your face drops into a determined expression. You gather all your strength and prepare to greet your mother. You’re going to need it.

***

“Well there’s my darling daughter!”

You keep your expression neutral, but quirk one eyebrow up as you look to the direction her voice is coming from. You watch as your mother saunters over to you, pulling along a middle-aged man in an Officer’s uniform; he must have been her way in, since you hadn’t seen her during your reconnaissance phase. He was of low-rank and low-importance, but you invited him because he could still harbor important information.

Your mother has aged: wrinkles line her eyes and crease her forehead, gray hairs are dyed an unnatural shade, and the skin on her neck and hands is thin and dry. Her dark robes swathe her frame in an abundance of fine fabric, perhaps to distract from all that you are observing.

“Mother,” you reply in a clipped tone. No one but Cassian notices the beginnings of sweat on your forehead. He leans in to place a kiss on your hairline, wiping away the droplet with his dry but soft lips. You grasp his hand tighter in appreciation.

“I knew I would find you here…” she taunts, but trails off as she eyes Cassian beside you. 

You stiffen because you know that look. You angle yourself to where your breasts are pressing against Cassian and you lay a possessive hand over his chest, clearly indicating he was ‘yours’ in the only way she really understands. 

But she hasn’t changed in all this time, so she tries her hand with Cassian. Even though her escort has an arm around her stomach in a not-so-subtle effort to keep her close to him and away from your partner - or anyone else in the room that catches her eye.

“My, my. Who is this handsome man you’ve conned into spending the night with you, daughter?” She addresses you, but bats her eyelashes coquettishly at Cassian. “I’m sure you’ll have much more fun with me, young man. I can give you anything you want,” she tries to whisper seductively, but fails in your opinion. 

Her date looks at you and Cassian contemptuously, as if you were the ones to blame for her behavior.

Your mouth curls into an uncontrollable sneer and your expression morphs into one of disgust and anger. How dare she proposition Cassian in such a way? What a lewd and demeaning way to come onto someone! 

All fear is forgotten in your outrage. You’re about to respond with vicious words as you start to move your hand towards the poisoned blade hidden under your dress, but Cassian stops you as he tightens his arm around your waist and pulls you further into him so that you’re basically looking over your shoulder - you’re full front is pressed against his as he takes his own hold on you. His hand snakes down to cup your ass in a proprietorial way to show your mother that he already has his hands full. 

Your heart quickens at the possessive act. Focus.

Cassian gives an uninterested nod as his greeting, making a show of looking her over and finding her lacking. It’s cruel, but it fills you with a spot of joy.

“The husband, actually,” he remarks coldly. “Weapons Specialist.”

“Oh.” She pouts for just a moment, disappointed that he wants nothing to do with her. “Well!” She claps her hands together and steps out of her date’s arm. “I’m sure you gentlemen won’t begrudge me a moment with my long-lost daughter,” she bids. She flaps her hands around as she says, “You boys talk amongst yourselves.”

She walks off, expecting you to follow like a kriffing Kath Hound. One of your eyes twitches in agitation as you look to Cassian. He uses one hand to adjust a piece of your hair, wanting to draw attention away from his lips as he mutters to you.

“Do not let her get to you. I will be right here when you return.”

“I don’t think I can follow through on the plan. I don’t think I can get close enough without failing,” you whisper. 

You are terrified of this woman and what she can still do to you, what she can still make you endure because of her connection to the Dark Side. But… you can’t really sense anything from her. You allow what diminutive control you have on the Force to surround her and probe for information, and you find very little. 

You’re wondering now if whatever prevented her from completing her training as a Sith has been depleting her midichlorians since then as well. Her voice in your mind has been diminishing for quite some time now; the event today having been the first time in over a year, when you used to hear her every other month.

A hypothesis begins to form. But in order to explore further, you need to follow your mother.

You rub Cassian’s cheek with the palm of your hand in farewell and his stubble is rough against your skin. He takes your hand from his face and places a soft kiss on your knuckles, but doesn’t meet your eyes.

 After your revelations in the cupboard and dispensation of some of the fear you had been holding all your life, you’re finding it easy to fall into this level of intimacy with Cassian -- false as it may be. You are no longer held back by thoughts of your mother reentering your life and wreaking havoc for the Rebellion. She’s found you here with Imperialists, ‘married’ to a war profiteer, and presumably on the same side.

But Cassian is still Cassian and you are still you. Public displays of affection make both of you uncomfortable, but you’ve been pushing it aside for the sake of the mission. You let go of each other and walk away from him, but you can still feel his eyes on you as you go to your mother.

“I never imagined you as a credit-seeking harpy, daughter of mine. Always so toffee-nosed and self-important. You never agreed to a single match I tried to make for you,” your mother starts in as soon as you’re close enough to hear. Some party-goers glance in your direction, but your glare sends them looking away.

“Perhaps you never set your sights high enough, mother. Maybe I sought better for myself than you could provide?” you retort, channeling Cassian’s cool demeanor into your character for this mission. 

You had never imagined as a youngling that you could ever be brave enough to face your mother in this way; she had dominated and dictated every facet of your life, refusing you free-will and a normal childhood. But you need to complete this mission and find out why she’s here, so you don’t have time to dwell.

She looks at you now with thinly veiled contempt. You imagine she thought you would still be that girl who was too afraid to speak out against her. And if it wasn’t for this mission and Cassian dragging you from the party so you could collect yourself, you would still be.

Your hands are trembling where they’re hidden behind your back and beneath the capelet on the dress, and gravity seems to have broken: incredibly strong at your feet and incredibly light on your head. It keeps you rooted to the floor while also making you feel like you’re floating away. Rationally you know it’s your fear response, so you work on taking inconspicuous breaths.

“‘Sought better for yourself’; don’t make me laugh! Those ‘friends’ you had were barely sentient! Let alone have any connections to elevate you anywhere,” your mother mocks.

You’re momentarily dumbfounded: how did she know about your friends? You made sure to never mention them or hang out with them when your mother was on-planet. “What friends?” you ask quietly.

“Don’t play ignorant with me, daughter, it’s so unbecoming of a Sith. Did you forget? I’m in your head.”

You jerk away from where your mother has leaned in towards your face, taking a step back. Her last words had been inside your head. 

“I’ve missed this, daughter,” your mother coos telepathically. She brings a wrinkled hand up to cup one side of your face while you’re struggling to breathe. “I’ve missed having you under my thumb.” 

At this, she drives her thumb into your cheek, pushing your head roughly to the side. She has a firm grip and directs your face back to where you have to look at her. You’re breathing fast and shallow, panic taking over. Your hands have flown to take a hold of her wrist and forearm, struggling to remove her nails from your soft flesh.

You finally wrench her hand away, just in time to feel a strong arm snake around your waist and pull you backwards. Cassian steps in front of you in a protective stance, one arm still holding you against his back and the other pointing his blaster in your mother’s face.

If looks alone could kill, your mother would have evaporated under Cassian’s glare.

You can feel his breath escaping him in angry heaves, nostrils flared. His mouth is set in a thin, angry line, and you can hear his teeth gnash together as he clenches his jaw. His eyebrows are furrowed over his hard, piercing stare, your mother the sole object of his ire at the moment.

She doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t even look at Cassian as her focus is still on you. Staring down certain death and one of the most intimidating men in the galaxy, she doesn’t move a muscle except to smile cruelly.

“They were so heartbroken when I told them you were dead,” she mocks as you stare at her from around Cassian. “It was quite fun to watch them suffer.”

They thought I was dead? Your hands grasp Cassian tighter at the thought. Is that why they never tried to contact me? 

Feeling your shaking hands on his back and unsteady breaths against his neck, all Cassian wants to do is blast a hole through your mother. As soon as he saw her lay a hand on you, he was racing over to the altercation – blaster drawn and heart on his sleeve. He knows how strong and capable you are, but this mission is asking more of you than he can stand to watch be taken away. 

He feels your warm hand slide around his where it grips his blaster. You bring his arm back down to his side and step out from behind him.

Your nerves are shot and you’re so nauseous that you could vomit at any moment, but you need to take control of the situation again. Your mother is making you look weak and incompetant in front of the Empire’s largest figures. The party had come to a screeching halt when Cassian drew his weapon.

“It’s alright, my love,” you say loud enough for those around you to hear. “I believe our guest has forgotten who is in charge here.” 

You snap your fingers in K’s direction where you see him stationed against one of the columns beside the entrance. You’re elated when you see him actually heed your command and stalk over. He grips your mother’s arm and waits for your command.

“I do believe it’s time you and your date left now,” you say as you wave your hand in a dismissive gesture.

Your mother is absolutely fuming as K2 leads her out of the hall, stopping to grab her date as he tries to make himself small amongst the crowd. You can see her trying to move her arm out of the droid’s grasp, but she’s unsuccessful. Her date’s jacket sleeve is nearly ripping at the shoulder from how unwilling he is to be pulled along by her.

Cassian is immensely proud of you for standing up to your mother. After he watches her being dragged out by K, he turns to you with a glimmer in his eye, only to notice the sallowness of your skin and the movement of your throat as you swallow multiple times.

Cassian immediately turns to your guests and makes an announcement so you can sneak away unnoticed. “Now that we’ve weeded out the undesirables amongst us, it’s time to get this party started. Fosu–” Cassian calls to the Ortolan leading the live band “–let’s go!” 

You make your way out of the crowded hall with one hand fisted over your mouth and the other holding your stomach. You hear the band start up as you reach the nearest refresher and bolt inside. As soon as the door slides closed and you’re alone, you promptly empty the contents of your stomach into the vacc tube.

-------

You’re shivering against the wall when Cassian comes in some time later. Your body has lost all ability to function after trying to purge itself of these mephitic feelings, so you’re collapsed into a seated position on the floor with your head leaned back to rest against the wall. The expensive stone interior of this refresher is beautiful to look at, but severely uncomfortable to sit on. 

Cassian crouches down next to you and hands you a crystal flute full of water. You give a small smile in appreciation and sip from the cup, closing your eyes as you feel the cool liquid slither down your raw throat and into your empty stomach.

“You did good,” Cassian says to you.

You peep open one tired eye and look at him. His face is sincere and his eyes hold no hint of the disappointment you feel for yourself. You scoff at his words and close your eye again.

“The entire mission has gone completely barvy because of me,” you mutter harshly. If your mother hadn't shown up, you would have completed this mission without any problems. But as soon as you felt her presence and realized that she was in the same room, you broke down. And when she spoke to you and grabbed you...

At the thought of your mother’s touch, the anxiety in your stomach rumbles into nausea again. You press a closed fist up to your mouth to fight off the feeling. “I can’t even think about her without wanting to spew my guts up.” You roll your head to the side so that Cassian can’t see the self-deprecating expression you know is on your face. “How pathetic is that?”

A warm, rough hand encircles the wrist that still hovers in front of your mouth. The firm pressure brings your face up and forces your eyes open. Cassian is leaning towards you with an arm outstretched to you and balancing on one knee. You can’t help but feel bad that he’s ruining such a nice suit just to get you to look at him.

“Nothing about you is pathetic, Princessa,” he urges. “The way you handled that situation? There is no one else in the galaxy who could have gotten through the way you did.” He moves his hands in an exaggerated gesture to emphasize the shape of the galaxy around you, but your wrist is pulled along for the demonstration since it is still held between his fingers. 

“I didn’t really do anything. I asked K to kick her out for me. I’ve probably lost any ounce of power and respect we scrounged up in such a short time.” 

Your eyes are downcast as you say this, so you don’t notice Cassian’s other hand reaching up from where it was hovering over his bent knee. He oh-so-gently grabs your chin in the same place your mother had, but the difference between the two touches are immense. His thumb ever so softly brushes along the side of your mouth where a bruise is most likely forming, and his fingers perch below your chin as he pulls your face up to meet his gaze.

“If anything, you gave us more respect. You effortlessly took away all her power and turned her into the laughing stock of the party; these sorts of things are the highlight of any event for these people. You’ve just ensured that they’re all going to be coming back just on the off-chance that something like that happens again.” 

His eyes are so intense on yours and his hand so kind against your abused jaw that it brings a flush to your face. You shouldn’t be relishing in the closeness you’re feeling in this moment because he is only trying to comfort you and get you ready to be hostess of the party again, but you can’t help the warm feelings and fluttering of your heart at his proximity.

You think he must have noticed your blush and became embarrassed for you, because he drops his hand from your face and rises from his crouch. Cassian clears his throat and pulls your wrist up towards him, indicating that it is time for you to stand as well. You push against the wall with your free hand and stand in front of him.

You’re unsure of what else to say besides a whispered, “Thank you.”

Cassian nods his head in acknowledgement and drops your hand. The loss of contact stings a little.

Cassian quickly starts ruffling his hair and jerking his clothes until they’re disheveled. Your questioning look is answered a second later as the same realization comes to your mind. A married couple locked in a bathroom together for some time after an apparent power move? Everyone at the party is going to think that show of dominance got Cassian hot with desire for you.

Your blush reappears with a vengeance as your hands remove some pins from your hair and ruffle through it. Your heart thunders in your chest as you grab Cassian’s shoulder as he is preparing to unlock the door. He looks back at you and you drop your hand.

“It.. it would be more believable if some of my makeup…” you flap your hand towards his face, indicating what you mean.

Understanding crosses his face as he slowly leans towards you. You take your thumb and smear it across your lips, dragging the lip color from its place and around your mouth in a facsimile of the chaos a kiss would create.

You take your makeup covered thumb and firmly glide it across Cassian’s lips. The contrast between the softness of his delicate skin and harshness of his stubbled chin remind you that your face and neck need to be more red.

Making to take your nails and redden up your skin, you’re stopped by Cassian’s question of, “Can I?”

You look up to see his hands reaching for your face and you allow him to hold you. He brings his face into yours and presses his stubbly cheek into your skin. You hold back your gasp of shock, but the inhaled breath allows in the intoxicating smell of him. You close your eyes in order to maintain some semblance of control over yourself. Your hands are itching to run through his hair and dishevel it even more, but you refrain in case it makes him stop.

Cassian is nuzzling into your neck now and you can feel a slightly shaky breath leave his lips and fan across your ear. A shiver races down your spine and lands hotly in your lower abdomen. The sensitive skin of your neck is red now from both his ministrations and your increased temperature.

All too soon, Cassian pulls away. You're warm all over except for the irritated skin on your neck that feels cool without Cassian’s warmth against it. He looks at you unsurely, probably worried that he overstepped a boundary.

“Your hands wouldn’t have left the right pattern,” he mumbles out. 

He doesn’t seem unsure of himself, but not wholly convinced that you necessarily wanted him to do that. You nod your head too quickly when you agree with him to reassure that you do not mind. At all. 

He stuffs his hands into his pockets, but swings out one elbow as an offer to you. You take a deep breath to calm down and place your arm within his before exiting.

***

Weeks pass and you and Cassian have been inundated with dinner offers, gala invitations, and special meetings from members of the Empire and their allies. It seems that Cassian was correct in saying that everyone at the party - and not at the party - would be clamoring to get into your good graces after taking so much power away from a prominent member so easily. 

When the topic is brought up, you always smile and laugh haughtily so they think such a thing was no big deal to you. The problem is that it was a big deal. You never stood up to your mother like that when you were younger - you always took the abuse until the day you jumped on a random cargo ship and ran away. You had always thought you were weak and powerless against your mother, but Cassian and these Imperial scum are beginning to make you realize that you’ve grown enough that she no longer holds power over you.

This realization makes you feel strong and more competent than ever. You’re fully ingratiating yourself with the beings around you, pretending that the Empire is the only way forward and that the Rebellion is just full of useless chizks. 

Ha! If only they knew they were being played like an Ewok drum by one of those ‘useless chizks’.

As you’re laughing at what some high-brow weapons dealer is saying, you glance around the room to find Cassian. You were separated when someone dragged you away to have a ‘female talk’ that was excruciating to sit through. You spy him across the hall, but your heart drops as you watch him follow a beautiful Twi-lek into a side office.

Over the past few weeks, you and Cassian have gotten close. Or you thought you had. You were both becoming increasingly comfortable in each other’s arms and Cassian had even taken to kissing your lips when others were around.

You couldn’t help but take those little kisses and tight hugs personally. You know that, rationally, he is only doing those things to keep up the pretense of a happily married couple, but your touch-starved heart was going soft for the Rebel captain.

And maybe it’s that soft heart that makes you excuse yourself from the current conversation. That soft heart that makes you follow in the pair’s footsteps. That soft heart that constricts and feels as if it’s crumbling away when you hear the soft murmurs coming from behind the closed door you have your ear against.

You’re unable to make out anything being said, but the closeness that whispering requires crushes your soft heart. You know this is a mission and you both need to get intel at any cost. Cassian is one of the best spies in the Rebellion – kriff, the whole galaxy – so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that seducing a target is one of his methods. 

But we’re supposed to be married, you reason out. Happily!

You hear the Twi-lek whine. Your chest tightens and your eyes start to burn for no reason. You shake your head to try and force the tears back. Taking a deep breath, you channel your current persona and feel her wrath and anger at the situation funnel through you.

You twist the handle and barge into the room. You stand scowling at the two as you eye them up and down. Cassian is unruffled and holding onto the Twi-lek’s shoulders as if to keep her at a distance. The Twi-lek, on the other hand, has her dress pulled down past her shoulders to expose her chest and her hands clasped onto Cassian’s lapels and fingering the buttons of his shirt.

Their eyes turn to you: Cassian’s relieved ,and the Twi-lek’s shooting daggers.

“Husband,” you deadpan, “what’s the meaning of this?” 

But you’re not looking at your fake husband, you’re eyeing up the female who still has her dress around her waist and her dirty hands on your man.

“Princessa,” Cassian seems to plead with you. You flick your eyes away from the Twi-lek and onto him. Princessa has become a normal term of endearment from Cassian since your heart-to-heart in the fresher, and you can’t get enough of how ardently he always calls to you. But now the name sends a pain through your heart, because you’re just now realizing he may have used it for others during missions as well.

Your eyes threaten to start burning again, so you look away from Cassian and back to the one that pulled him in here. You notice that she was hanging out with the one that pulled you away for that ‘talk’, making you think that this had been their play all along.

Your nostrils flare as you stare her down. “Fix your gown, find your friend, and leave this house. I will not repeat myself,” you growl at her. 

The Twi-lek’s eyes widen a fraction at the venom in your voice, hopefully understanding the danger that your persona emanates. She pulls her hands from Cassian and slips them through the sleeves of her dress before scurrying from the room.

You turn to watch her leave, narrowing your eyes as you catch hers as she shuts the door. You hadn’t only turned to make sure she left, you also turned so that you didn’t have to look at Cassian. You didn’t want to look closer and see what they were up to.

“Thank you,” Cassian murmurs as he walks up to you. “She seemed to think that I would sneak off with her willingly.”

“Didn’t you, though?” 

Your question catches him off-guard and you see his furrowed brow in your peripheral. You tried not to put any emotion into your words, but don’t know if you succeeded or not.

“What do you mean?”

“You were gathering intel, right? It’s part of the job to seduce targets.” You’re still looking to the door and away from him, but Cassian turns his body fully towards you and raises a hand in your direction. You lightly step away as you finish. “I just didn’t know our cover had changed, is all. I won’t interrupt you next time.”

Cassian calls out for you, but you’ve already left the room.

***

No one notices anything out of the ordinary after you re-enter the party, but you can feel eyes on you the whole night. Whether they’re Cassian’s or others’ is hard to say – once you returned to mingling with the guests, you started wrapping them around your little finger.

You aren’t discriminating against anyone that seemed interested in you. Any being that you felt had even an inkling of knowledge about something and would only give it up if persuaded, you flirted with. Subtly, of course, since you are ‘married’, but enough to let them know you find them just as interesting as they find you.

You’re only laying the groundwork tonight, so you don’t have to worry about planning any rendezvouses. You wish that Cassian had discussed seduction with you while you were both laying out plans on the way to Coruscant. 

No. 

You wish that seduction wasn’t part of the plans at all. Because as selfish as it is, you want Cassian all to yourself – if only for this mission. 

Stop lying.

As selfish as it is, you want Cassian. Period.

***

You don’t enjoy yourself tonight. Not like any of the other events had been times to enjoy, but at least for those few weeks Cassian had been at your side for most of them. Even so, you can’t pinpoint exactly when Cassian began this part of the plan, which means you are too distracted to be doing your job correctly. You internally berate yourself for the slip up. 

It’s late by the time you and Cassian are standing on the landing platform waiting for your cruiser to arrive. The wind this high up causes you to shiver and cross your arms to try and protect yourself from the chill. While you’re thankful for your thin clothing inside the incessantly warm buildings, walking out into the brisk night air always catches you by surprise. Cassian in the past has always draped his jacket over your bare shoulders when he noticed that you were cold, but he refrains tonight. He stands several feet away from you with his hands clasped behind his back and his jaw tight.

The tension roiling between you is uncomfortable. There were no soft touches or easy conversations between you this evening like you have grown used to. After you left the office and Cassian behind, you had avoided him at all costs. But you’d catch him staring at you as you laid a hand on someone else’s shoulder or whispered into another’s ear. 

You know that he’s upset with you for tonight, but you don’t know what for specifically. Did he think you were too bold in your attentions? It’s not like you had snuck off into a private room with someone in full view of the entire party. 

The thought briefly crosses your mind that you’re trying to make Cassian jealous, but it’s quickly brushed away. Why would it make Cassian jealous to see you flirting with others? It’s not like this is a real relationship anyway… no matter that you were starting to think it was.

Your transport arrives and the doors slide open. The warmth of the ship draws you in and you clamber in on your sore feet. The high-arching shoes you’ve been wearing are kicked off quickly so that you can pull your legs up to rest on the seats beside you. You’re fully reclined when the journey to your suite begins, but Cassian is still rigid in his seat in the farthest corner of the ship from you.

The warm transport grows stifling as you feel the heat of Cassian’s gaze on you. Your eyes are closed where your head is resting on the hull, but you’re too tired to open them and stare back.

“Go on and say whatever it is you’re upset about,” you challenge wearily. The events from earlier in the night and your subsequent ‘star of the party’ mode had worn you to the point of exhaustion. You were ready to be alone and to sleep for the next standard year.

“You do not think that was too much?” Cassian hurls at you. “You throwing yourself at them? We are supposed to be happily married. Why are you not acting accordingly?”

The force of his anger surprises you; you knew he was displeased with your actions by the look on his face throughout the event, but you didn’t think he was angry enough to yell at you. Nerves begin to course through your blood at his raised voice. It reminds you too much of your mother’s anger when you were younger – you have been invisible ever since then, so no one has had a reason to scream abuse at you. 

Until now.

Despite your weariness and building anxiety, the growing sense of your own power helps to bolster you. You will not let him lambaste you for putting your all into this mission. You’ve been here too long as it is, and you need to get away from Cassian so that you can get back to the right headspace without thoughts of him getting in the way of your duties. You’ve been too consumed with the feelings that his touch and presence bring you when you’re together. Too consumed with the thought that maybe he finds your presence just as all-consuming as you find his.

Your hands tremble slightly with nerves and anger as you plant your feet on the floor and turn to face him with a fierce stare.

“You will not speak to me that way, Cassian. I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime. And I do not need you questioning me when you’re the one that started seducing targets without consulting me! I also thought the plan was to be ‘happily married’, but imagine my surprise when I found a half-naked Twi-Lek in your arms!”

The transport has arrived at your dwelling by this point, so you grab the hem of your dress and your footwear before stomping off into the entrance hall. You can hear Cassian muttering expletives under his breath as he races after you.

“If you would let me explain,” he begins after grabbing your wrist and spinning you around to face him. You jerk your arm out of his grip with a hiss.

“Don’t grab me,” you growl out. “We’re done for tonight. I’m sleeping in the guest quarters.” 

And you stalk away, leaving Cassian angry and alone.

***

Night turns into day, and the day turns into many more. Neither of you would admit to what was really the cause of the anger and the fight, not even to yourselves. 

You still attend functions and dinner plans, but the small and casual affection between you and Cassian has disappeared. Instead, quick pecks and a loose arm around the waist was the only physical contact.

You hate this. You hate that you’re acting this way - so unreasonably. If it were anyone else, you might even laugh at their blatant flirtations with others. But with Cassian… any time you see someone else on his arm or someone else whispering in his ear, you see red. The fire you felt that first night with the Twi-Lek comes back with a vengeance and you can’t help but feel stupid for it.

Your ‘home life’ isn’t any better. You both sit at opposite ends of the dining table, staunchly ignoring the other. At least, you try to ignore him. Cassian is still your friend, despite the silence lingering between the two of you. You want to break the war of no words, but it seems like every event resets both of your tempers.

You had yet to return to the extra cot in the master bedroom you used to share with Cassian.

It all came to a head one afternoon. The same Twi-Lek, Anansi, had put her hands all over Cassian in the middle of a crowded dinner party the night prior, eliciting murmurs from the other party-goers about your and Cassian’s physical relationship. Or lack thereof.

You had glared daggers at the both of them, catching Cassian’s eye and snarling your lip at him out of hurt more so than anger. If he wanted to flirt so openly and auspiciously with the targets, then so would you, you rationalized. You found the most eligible officer and made it abundantly clear that you were willing to do anything to stay with him just a little longer. So you went back to his quarters once the party was over. You didn’t stay over for long, stumbling back to your and Cassian’s penthouse long before the suns even rose.

You don’t even fully undress before you fall into a deep sleep. 

You neglect to leave your bed in time for the first meal of the day, but you make it to the small offering a few hours later. Cassian is already seated at the head of the table, so you avoid his eyes as you move to your place across from him.

Nothing is appealing right now, the firewater moving its way out of your bloodstream making you slightly dizzy. You glance up when Cassian’s utensils scrape across his dish.The noise sends shivers down your spine.

“Could you not?” you question quietly.

Cassian looks up with a quirked eyebrow. “Why? Enjoy yourself a bit too much last night, baby?” he taunts, scraping his plate again.

You send him a deadly glare, daring him to do it again. “I’m sure nowhere near as much fun as you had with Anansi last night. Another office, really?”

Cassian slams his hands down on the table and pushes himself up forcefully. “At least I didn’t take her home, unlike that officer. Couldn’t even leave the party with your own ‘husband’ – you just had to leave with him. Did you at least get anything from him?” he demands, glowering from across the spread of food between you.

You smirk at him. “Oh, I got plenty from him last night,” you taunt as you stand as well.

You’ll be the first to admit that was a low blow, but Maker did it feel good to give right back as good as you were getting.

Cassian growls and stalks over to you. The sight of his taut shoulders and ridged jaw send you backwards until you’re up against a low table against the wall. His hands land either side of your hips, caging you in. 

Your heart is thundering and you’re slightly shaking with adrenaline. A warm sensation fills your gut and you can’t believe that his anger is making you feel this way.

“Yeah?” Cassian asks in a low voice, his breath fanning across your lips. His face is so close and his eyes are staring deep into your own. “I bet I can give you more.”

And with that, Cassian’s lips are on yours and it’s hard to even breathe. Your arms snake up around his neck and pull his lips closer to yours, deepening the kiss. His hands move from the table and grab onto your hips, allowing him to grind against your abdomen. A hungry growl escapes his mouth when you bite his lip at the action.

Cassian reaches down to your thighs and hauls you onto the table that had been digging into your lower back. You gasp into his open mouth when he spreads your legs wide and settles between your thighs.

The days of anger and pent-up frustration explodes between you both and there’s no stopping the desperate kisses and wandering hands. You grab the side of Cassian’s face with one hand and slide the other down his chest to lay flat on his lower abdomen. You feel his muscles tense as your fingers slip under his waistband to tease him, forcing his hips to rock into you.

Cassian leaves kisses from your waiting mouth and along your jaw until he reaches your ear. He whispers huskily, “I bet he didn’t kiss you like this.”

You groan as Cassian sucks harshly on your neck, leaving red marks. The dress you have on rides up your legs and bunches around your waist as Cassian’s hand trails up the outside of your thigh. When he reaches your hip, he lets out another low groan at what he finds. Or doesn’t find.

“Nothing on underneath? Did you leave him a souvenir? ” he breathes harshly into your mouth, using his other hand to palm your breasts through your dress.

“Ha,” you laugh shakily. You can do nothing except throw your head back against the wall as his fingers travel towards your wet folds. Nothing had prepared you for this interaction with Cassian, but kriff were you glad you weren’t wearing underwear.

Cassian’s thumb presses harshly on your clit and you grasp his wrist tightly to keep him in place. He slowly teases one finger into your aching hole and grabs your neck to force you to meet his eyes as he feels you flutter around his finger. A small whimper escapes you at the hungry look in his eyes and the second finger nudging at your entrance.

“I know you didn’t get this wet for him,” Cassian purrs, still staring into your eyes. It’s hard to keep them open as he pumps his fingers in and out of you slowly, but the look he’s giving you is impossible to look away from. 

Your free hand that had been on the table below you to keep you upright takes his hand at your throat and makes him squeeze. You gasp softly at the pressure and Cassian’s eyes blaze. He forces himself closer to you, moving his thumb harder and faster against your nub and forcing your chests together so that there is no space between you. Your eyes slam shut when he scissors his fingers to open you wider and you hear the noise of your juices echoing throughout the room from his movements.

His hand around your throat pushes you back against the wall so that Cassian has a better angle at which to see his fingers moving against you. His mouth waters at the sight of his hand glistening down to the wrist. 

You’re rising higher towards your peak, but not quite there when Cassian leaves you altogether. You cry out at the loss of contact and immediately open your eyes to glare at him. Only he’s no longer face-to-face with you – he’s down on his knees and propping your thighs onto his shoulders. Cassian licks his lips as you stare at each other across the distance of your quivering body.

Your heart beats erratically in your chest, and when he licks his lips it sends another flood of heat towards your pulsing pussy. “Tell me how much you want it,” Cassian murmurs as he kisses your inner thighs while still looking up at you.

“Yes,” you breathe, panting and squirming to get his mouth closer to where you want need it. 

“‘Yes’ what, Princessa?” he questions while blowing lightly along your slit.

“You. I want you,” you gasp out. “Now. Please.”

And that’s all it takes for Cassian’s mouth to finally close in and taste you. Your hands fly into his hair and your shoulders are bearing all of your weight as you lean into the wall for support. You tug and pull at Cassian’s hair, ensuring that he’s in just the right spot at all times. A harsher pull at a particularly good lick causes Cassian to moan into you and you nearly come just from the sensation.

He suckles your clit into his mouth and pushes his fingers back into you. You cry out at his ministrations and try to grind against him, but his arms are pressing you down securely and you can hardly move.

“Yes. Please – please. Cassian!” you chant, trying hard not to dig your nails into his scalp and shoulders as your hands grab onto him. You’re so close that you can taste it.

“Did you scream his name last night? Or were you pretending it was me fucking you?” Cassian nips your folds when you don’t answer immediately, causing you to jerk and moan.

“I-I didn’t– Ah!” 

Cassian once again pulls away from you, raising his eyebrows in challenge. You’re determined that this is the last time he leaves you right on the edge, so you lean over and grab him by the shoulders and haul him up to you. You wrap your legs around him to keep him in place and begin to undo his shirt.

You deliberately let your hands press and knead as you tease him, wanting him as needy as you are. Cassian grabs your jaw and kisses you hard as you reveal his chest. He treats you in kind by pulling the straps of your dress off your shoulders and below your breasts. He palms them with both hands, tweaking the nipples when you reach for his pants.

Cassian rutts into your hands as you work him out of the confining fabric. He’s hot in your hand when you finally release his cock and pump his length. He groans into your mouth again and moves a hand down to yours and pulls it away. 

You try to fight against it, but he guides your entwined hands to your center and makes you soak your palm with your own fluids. Getting the gist of his actions, you rub yourself with his guidance. You’re panting into his mouth as he continues to kiss you. 

You deem your hand thoroughly soaked and place it back on him. He pumps into your fist until his cock is coated in your essence. You reach your free hand around his waist and pull him into the crux of your thighs, guiding him to where you desperately ache to be filled. Cassian pulls your hand away from him and places it against his neck, while his other hand keeps him positioned at your entrance.

He edges into you and stops when he meets a slight resistance. He looks into your eyes for permission to continue, and you nod your head vigorously.

With your acknowledgement, Cassian thrusts in to the hilt. You keen loudly at the sudden intrusion, but the fullness quickly turns all discomfort into an overwhelming need. You open your eyes from where they had closed suddenly and see Cassian already looking at you. He grabs one of your legs to hitch it up further around his waist and uses his other hand to cup your jaw and lean you back against the wall.

Cassian follows you and leans all his body against you. Your naked flesh moves against each other when he begins thrusting into you quickly. You gasp and shake against him, using your arms to keep his mouth on yours as you climb higher and higher once again.

Cassian can tell that you’re close. He raises your leg even higher and places one knee on the low table you’re fucking on, causing him to reach such a deep angle that you see stars with every movement. He’s practically on top of you now, bearing all his weight on his other arm that is grabbing hold of the back of the table to give him even more leverage.

He uses this new angle to thrust hard, slow, and deep. Your eyes water as the head of his cock slams into your g-spot over, and over, and over again. You can barely breathe with all of the pressure against you, but you drag in just enough air in order to scream as your orgasm washes over you. Your arms and legs go rigid around Cassian, forcing him to stay close as he continues to pump into you.

He can feel you pulling and squeezing his dick as your walls try to milk every last bit of pleasure, which leads him to his own finish. Cassian comes inside you hard, groaning in satisfaction. He continues to push into you softly as you both ride the last waves of your highs.

Your legs lose all muscle control and the one not being held up by Cassian drops down against the table. You’re gasping hard, trying to draw in a breath that will allow your head to start clearing from its post-coital fog. You can’t for the life of you remember ever having better sex.

Cassian slowly extracts his length from you and you cry out at the hollow feeling. He chuckles darkly. He pushes the hair that had fallen into his face back with both hands, removing all contact with your skin. “You won’t forget about your ‘husband’ now, will you?” Cassian smiles ruefully.

It takes you a moment to process the thinly concealed venom in his words. You still in disbelief as you puzzle out his meaning. 

Wait… wasn’t that? Didn’t he–?

Your face burns with embarrassment at having been caught out. You’ll admit you were angry at your ‘husband’ at the beginning of this experience, but you threw your anger out the very high-rise window of this dining room as soon as Cassian kissed you.

You replay the words he had said during sex in your mind. You had been too busy at the time to pay much attention to what he was actually saying. He really thought you slept with that officer last night? A Rebel captain, sleeping with an Imperial officer? Who did he take you for?

You thought… but that look in his eyes when he entered you. The-the kisses and the closeness and the feelings. The intimacy that comes along with sex. Doesn’t he…? 

You sit upright and grab the fabric of your dress to cover your breasts. The movement of your hips causes Cassian’s cum to leak out of you, and you watch his eyes trail the droplet as it races downwards.

You don’t understand. You don’t.

Did he not kiss you because he wanted to? Because he has feelings for you? Or did he only do it out of anger?

Your feelings for Cassian have grown over the weeks you’ve been together on this mission, and you thought he felt a similar way. All the intimacy in public and pretty words – even if it has been a while – were they really just an act this whole time?

You stand slowly, feeling your eyes grow hot with tears to mimic the warm wetness between your thighs. You bite your lower lip as you look at the floor by Cassian’s feet.

“I–” you start. “I didn’t sleep with him…” You look up to see Cassian’s eyes widen a fraction. You can’t tell if it’s in disbelief or surprise. “You really think I’d do that?” You question him.

“I don’t know…” Cassian whispers, shaking his head imperceptibly. His hair falls back into his eyes, but he doesn’t make a move to fix it.

You look away from him and towards the skyline outside, avoiding his gaze. You tug your dress back onto your shoulders and wrap your arms protectively around yourself once again.

“I thought you – I thought we… I don’t have sex with just anyone, Cassian.” 

Your voice comes out as a whisper and you wrap your arms tighter around your chest. Your heart constricts in fear and anxiety as you utter your next words. 

“I really like you, Cass. I kind of thought the feeling was mutual…because of – you know.” You shrug your shoulders self-consciously. “I thought as soon as you... felt that I hadn’t been with anyone in a while, you stopped pretending to be mad at me.” You look back to him with sad eyes, tears threatening to fall any second. “We were pretending, right? Because we were jealous?”

Cassian repeats your name in a whisper, sounding like an apology, beginning to lift a hand towards you but seemingly thinking better of it. He closes his mouth and shakes his head in a definitive ‘no’.

That hurt. That hurt bad.

Tears overflow your lashes and a small hiccup leaves your throat, but you nod your head and turn to leave. You feel ashamed of the feelings you had poured into your love-making, realizing that he hadn’t felt it. Realizing that he hadn’t done the same.

You shuffle softly to the door, your steps quiet. Your shoulders rise as a hiccup escapes your lips. You press one hand against your mouth to stifle the sob that is sure to follow. You’ve nearly reached the door when you hear Cassian take in a shaky breath.

“She said she was looking to sell weapons and wanted to know if I was interested. I went with her under the assumption that we could gain ammunition for the Rebellion.” Cassian says to your back. 

His voice is soft. Pleading. Begging you to turn around and understand. Cassian doesn’t know why he had said those things to you just now. Why he had to go and ruin one of the best things that had happened to him in a long time.

He sees you pause in your steps, so he takes a deep inhale to calm his emotions before continuing. He needs to get this right so he doesn’t lose you.

If he hasn’t already.

“I did not mean to hurt you,” he begins. All of his focus is centered on you, so far away. “I can not begin to apologize enough for the things I just said to you. Because I was jealous. Very. But those words – that is something you do not deserve. It was uncalled for to act in the way I did. I was angry at myself for not being brave enough to tell you how I feel. For letting you leave with someone else when all I wanted… when all I feel...is...” Cassian shakes his head in confusion while trying to come up with the right way to say this.

You take a moment before asking the question burning burning between you. 

“...How do you feel?” 

You wring your hands nervously in front of you while awaiting Cassian’s answer. Your heart is racing and you begin to feel light-headed from the anxiety coursing through your body in anticipation.

You feel more than hear the quick footsteps that stop just a hair's-breadth away from your back.

“Like…” Cassian begins, struggling to find the right words to convey just how attached he is to you, “like the galaxy wouldn’t be worth saving without you in it.” A tell-tale warble in his voice sends a stab of pain through your chest.

There’s a light touch at your waist, like he’s afraid that you’re going to run away at the slightest movement. That touch sends the chill that had seeped into your skin burning away and leaves you feeling all the warmth that had disappeared when you sat on that table alone. You let out a sob before spinning around to wrap your arms around his neck and cry into his neck.

Cassian hugs one arm around your waist and the other around your shoulders so that he can cup the back of your head. He squeezes with all his strength and presses a gentle kiss to your temple. He whispers “I’m sorry” over and over while you shudder against his chest. “I shouldn’t have said the things I did. I should not have accused you of sleeping with an enemy when I know you would never.” Another kiss to your temple, then one to your cheek. “I let my jealousy overrule my thoughts. I am so sorry.”

You hiccup again as you turn your face to press your forehead against his neck and bring one of your wrists down to wipe the tears from your face. “We were both wrong,” you tell him. “I misread the situation and didn’t give you the opportunity to explain. I just jumped to my own conclusions and caused this whole mess. I’m sorry.” 

Your throat is raw from your earlier activities and your crying spell, but you feel so much better now that your feelings are out in the open and you’re communicating about how’ve you’ve wronged each other. 

Cassian pulls away slightly and moves his hand from the nape of your neck to smooth along your cheek to collect the tears that are still there. His eyes are soft and sorrowful as he sees what he’s done to you. He makes a silent vow to never be the reason you cry again.

“It hurt to not be near you these past days,” Cassian whispers, resting his forehead against yours. “We’ll promise to talk everything out from now on, yes? 

“Yes.”

You both close your eyes and breathe each other in.

***

You wake late in the evening, the suns a few moments from setting. You feel Cassian’s warm breath against the back of your neck and his whole body as he cradles you from behind. You smile at the closeness, once again relieved that you both apologized and confessed your feelings for each other. 

Cassian escorted you back to the master sleeping quarters when he realized just how exhausted you were after this morning’s events. He’d slipped your dress from your form and pulled the covers up around your shoulders when you slid onto the bed. He crawled in on the other side and moved closer, placing a kiss in your hair before wrapping his arms around you.

You can’t remember the last time you felt so safe. If the universe was kind, you would willingly spend the rest of your existence just like this. You turn over as softly as you can, not wanting to jostle Cassian. When you’re looking into his peacefully sleeping face, you can’t help but lift a hand and trace along his features with the back of one finger.

Cassian’s eyes open for a brief moment before closing again, a hum escaping his lips. You laugh softly at his unwillingness to wake up and continue your tracing.

“We should probably check on the status of everything,” you whisper. “We’ve been MIA for a while now.”

“We have, haven’t we?” Cassian’s gruff voice responds. He lets out a deep sigh and pulls the arm that was around your waist up to catch your hand. “Tickles,” he murmurs while twining your fingers together and leaving them to rest on the pillow between your faces.

What’s a few more minutes going to hurt?

***

This is not good.

Cassian had just called you over to review footage and audio that has been recorded inside your suite from the past couple of days. You noticed an odd gap of time between when one crewmate entered the hallway leading to your private quarters and when they returned. This in and of itself wouldn’t have been enough to warrant any worry, but you saw them slip a piece of your Rebellion issued surveillance equipment into one of the pockets of their uniform as they walked away.

There is no way some common staff member could have found some of the only evidence linking you and Cassian to the Rebellion. No way unless they were smart enough and trained in the same occupation as you. 

You’ve masqueraded as household staff enough times that you should have realized that this was a distinct possibility when hiring a crew to keep up appearances.

You’re barely getting over your shock as you move to watch the next clip of the Adarian’s movements around your quarters. You take note of every movement of their cranial aperture as they scan their surroundings for sounds. Cassian had risen from his seat beside you in order to confirm that one of your signal jammers had indeed gone missing and to then send an encrypted message to Mon Mothma and General Draven to let them know you are now compromised. 

Cassian is just returning to you when you come to the last holovid recording. He’s too riled to sit down again, so he stands behind your chair and lays a hand on your shoulder. You place your hand over his and worry your lip.

You watch as the Adarian closes their eyes and presses their head against a wall adjacent to the entryway from the landing pad. You're wondering what they could be hearing when Cassian’s hand grips your shoulder.

You look up at him and open your mouth to ask what the problem is, but he stops you.

“Look at the time.”

You furrow your brows and glance at the timestamp. Your blood runs cold in your veins.

“They heard us...” you breathe to Cassian as you tighten your hold on him.

“I mentioned buying ammunition for the Rebellion…” Cassian remembers out loud. Your lip is nearly bleeding with how hard your teeth are working it.

“Kriff,” you mutter.

Cassian flexes his fingers under yours before sliding back across the room to update the message to your superiors about your immediate removal from the situation. You ponder the implications of ending the mission here, now, and realize that if someone knew enough to plant a spy within the staff that the Rebellion hired directly, then they knew enough to be dangerous.

You stop Cassian before he can send for an escape vehicle. “This is the only one that has shown any subversive behavior.” You begin. “We need to follow them and find out who planted them here.” Your eyes bore into his as he takes the time to deliberate between escape and possible death.

Cassian finally assents. “They’re to finish their shift in the next standard hour, so we’ll have an opportunity then.”

You spend what little time you have planning the recon details with heads together and hushed voices.

***

The alias given by the Adarian, Sulet, didn’t turn up anything useful when the Rebellion ran the initial background check before they were employed, so you are now confident that this is a false identity. Their history is incredibly detailed and in-depth, so whoever they work for has good connections.

You and Cassian follow Sulet onto a hyperbus that takes you to another sector close by, where they are soon picked up by a private hovercraft. You have to commandeer a speeder left nearby, deftly connecting wires and slinging yourself onto the vehicle. The small seat has you pressed up against Cassian’s back and feeling his muscles move as he steers. 

Cassian follows the craft from a distance that still allows him to watch its movements, but not be detected by the passenger. The insane traffic pattern soaring between the buildings on different levels makes you glad that Cassian is the one driving and not you, since your eyes are watering from the wind. You have a hard time focusing on anything further away than Cassian’s elegant neck and windswept hair. You burrow your head between his shoulder blades to escape the biting wind as you both race after the hovercraft.

You feel the speeder slow as the hovercraft drops Sulet off at some upper level quarters. The prime location and size alone tells you that they have the credits to employ their own personal spy.

You watch from above as the Adarian looks around furtively and moves inside.

“What do you think?” You ask Cassian.

“It could be a trap,” he replies. “They were smart enough to figure out we’re part of the Rebellion, they had to have known we’d be able to follow them at any point in time.” He peers down at the unassuming penthouse below.

“Especially with that device and what they heard this morning after we… after.” You blush profusely at the memories that are only hours old and remembering how loud you were when you came on Cassian’s hard…

Stop it.

“We need to be careful,” Cassian murmurs. “Backup will not arrive for a while yet.”

You nod against his shoulder blade and have him settle the speeder down onto the same landing pad the hovercraft dropped the Adarian off. You grasp your blaster firmly in your hands, ready to defend yourself. Cassian follows you as you both dismount and make your way slowly and cautiously to the doors.

You settle either side of the opening and look into each other’s eyes, signaling your readiness after not hearing anything from inside. You both jump away from the wall and bring your blasters up, pointing directly into the darkened living space. There is no sign of movement, the Adarian nowhere to be found.

Sparing a quick glance at Cassian, he motions for you to search your half of the room. You nod. Creeping along the wall, you scan behind the sofa and nudge the window coverings.

Nothing.

You look over to Cassian and find him already looking your way. He shakes his head, not having found anyone either.

“I don’t like this,” you mouth. Cassian agrees with another head shake.

You’re just turning to face the closed door keeping you both out of the rest of the home, when the door suddenly flies open and there’s a blaster pointed right at you.

Your eyes widen in surprise. Your training kicks in and your blaster seems to aim itself while you dodge for cover. Your blaster isn’t the only one that had gone off – Cassian slams into the cushions behind you and rolls down to crouch on the floor with you, his blaster smoking.

Adrenaline is high as you and Cassian take turns to give covering fire as you make your way slowly back towards the landing pad and your stolen speeder. You’re hunched behind a sturdy end table, waiting for your blaster to cool off, while Cassian fires on your assailants. He’s positioned not far from you, his back to the exit to cover your next move so he doesn’t see the figure land just outside the doors.

“Cassian!” you yell desperately, reaching a hand towards him to drag him down and out of the way of blaster fire. Your gun is still too hot, incapable of taking out the figure that has the two of you pinned down. Your hand clutches Cassian’s shirt, twisting him and throwing him down to the floor on your other side. Unfortunately, his weight destabilizes your center of balance, causing your bent legs to give way and making you topple sideways over Cassian’s now prone figure.

A sharp pain slams into your left shoulder blade. You cry out, but still whirl around to fire, hoping beyond hope that your blaster has had enough time to equilibrate. A bright red beam soars from your gun and hits your opponent square in the chest. They go down with a soft thud, leaving your escape path clear.

You turn back to Cassian, planning to grab him and run, but you’re frozen by the look on his face and his hands around his throat. Cassian sputters as if he can’t breathe, trying desperately to claw at his throat to relieve whatever invisible force is closing his airways.

Force.

Maker be damned.

You move your eyes back to the doorway where all your adversaries had seemed to pour only moments ago. Bodies litter the ground, the Adarian’s among them, courtesy of your and Cass’s excellent aim, but there was one person still standing.

A familiar figure you hadn’t seen since you kicked her out of your ‘home’ at your first party.

Your mother stands there, one hand directed at Cassian, fingers curling inward.

“Daughter,” she greets smugly.

“Let him go.” Your voice comes out as a hiss, spitting venom towards the woman in front of you. You already have your blaster pointed directly at her head.

Your mother clucks her tongue. “Now, now, dear. You wouldn’t want to make me kill your husband now, would you?” 

Her fingers come closer together, and Cassian falls to his knees. Your heart twists in your chest at seeing Cassian in pain, but you dare not take your eyes and your aim from your mother.

“Stop.”

“Lower the weapon and I’ll let him go,” she croons with a smile on her face. She is enjoying watching you plead for Cassian’s life. You’re tempted for a split second to do as she says, but Cassian interrupts you before you even move.

“No. Princessa, no,” he gasps. “Kill her.”

Your eyes meet his, and you see determination blazing through him. His strength lends you the power to turn back to your mother and pull the trigger.

Instead of your finger squeezing the trigger, you feel it extending away. You curse and try with all your might to fire your blaster.

Tutting softly, your mother shakes her head.

“I was giving you one last opportunity, daughter.”

Her fingers close the gap between each other and Cassian slumps to the floor.

“NO!” you scream, panicked. You watch Cassian’s chest for any sign of movement, but before you can confirm anything, you feel your own throat being squeezed.

You gasp and turn your focus back on your mother, trying desperately to think of any way out of this before you, too, lost consciousness.

A short sigh leaves your mother’s mouth. “Look what you’ve done, now.”

“Me?” you struggle past your lips. “This is all you.”

“No,” she says firmly. “This is all because of you. Everything I do is because of you.”

Rage burns through you and your words come out icy. “Everything you’ve ever done is all for yourself, mother.” You take as deep of a breath as you can to continue. “Nothing you ever did benefited me.”

“I made you strong,” she growls.

“You abused me!” you cry. Big, fat tears drop from your eyes and what little breath you’ve been able to pull in leaves you in stuttered breaths. “My entire childhood was ruined because of you! My only solace, my only happiness, my only friends. You made them think I was dead!”

“Friends,” she scoffs, tossing her hair over one shoulder. “We don’t need friends. We’re better than everyone else! They should worship us, our strength, our power! We are above them!”

“No,” you whisper out. “We are not better than anyone. We are not anything! You! You think that way. You hurt and maimed and killed so many people because you thought it was entertaining! Because you thought it would teach me ‘strength’.” 

There’s blackness creeping along the outsides of your vision, all the air you’re expelling in your tirade causing a loss of oxygen in your lungs and brain, your heart pumping overtime to accommodate. You gasp big, heaving breaths as you collect yourself.

Your mother stands rooted, anger apparent in the severe set of her mouth and deeply furrowed brows. Her eyes could set the whole city on fire.

You know that there is no coming back from this moment – that whatever happens here, there will only be one of you to make it out alive.

The problem you’re facing now is that you haven’t used your power in years. Over a decade, maybe. The mental muscles you used in adolescence have atrophied in the years that you’ve pushed this part of yourself into the background, trying to forget. 

You pull with all your might, forcing your awareness to focus on your mother. You search deep within her, past organs, past muscle, past tendons. You reach into her cells, finding those miniscule particles she had taught you were the key to your powers. 

You call out to them. Asking, begging, pleading them to obey you. Wanting them to do something that will stop your mother.

Stop her from killing you now. Stop her from hurting Cassian any further – if it wasn’t already too late. Stop her from continuing on this dark path that can only lead to death and destruction.

You feel a rush when the little beings begin to vibrate. It begins as a quiet little shiver, but slowly builds.

Your mother’s eyes widen in fright, her focus broken between cutting off your air or protecting herself from you.

“What are you doing?!” she shouts, arms quivering. She can barely stand, her legs are bowing at the knees and she begins to sink down onto the ground.

The shivering envelopes her cells, vibrates her muscles, quakes her entire body, until she can no longer maintain her hold over you. She collapses forward, crying helplessly. 

The rage you’ve suppressed for your entire life boils through your veins, setting you alight. You feel good. Strong. Stronger than you’ve ever felt; the trials and tribulations she put you through growing up not even comparable to your feelings now. 

“Please. Please! Daughter, stop! Stop!” she sobs into the carpet, curling into herself as if to protect herself from a violent beating, from a violent person. 

But no other threat exists. Only you.

“Why?” you whisper hoarsely, voice barely loud enough to cross the distance between you and your pathetically weeping mother. “You never did.”

With a violent yank, you grab onto the essence within your mother, pulling it away from her and towards you.

She screams for a split second as the power leaves her body, and then she falls unconscious. All the power that once filled her now dances around you. You can feel the energy they house, their want of a new host, their preference for you.

You allow them in.

There’s a tingling sensation across your skin, a warmth enfusing into your blood. You shiver softly, close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. You feel at peace, calm. All your worries have disappeared knowing that your mother could never hurt you again.

A pained groan fills the silence that had settled around you. You jolt, realizing that you need to check on Cassian.

Feeling immensly guilty for taking so long but also incredibly grateful that he is still alive, you rush over to his side. He still lays on the floor with his eyes closed, but you see his chest moving rhythmically with each breath. As you place a hand on his chest, Cassian’s eyes flutter open.

You grin down at him, enjoying the contact as he places his hand over yours.

“You…” he breathes. “You did it.”

“Yes,” you say. “I did. Finally.”

Cassian smiles up at you, pride evident in his eyes. “I’m so proud of you, Princessa.”

The warmth from both the power and Cassian’s hand travels to your heart, filling it with love and hope for a long life with the man here with you. 

“Come on,” you urge gently, tugging Cassian into a sitting position so that you can help him stand. “Let’s get back to base so that you can rest.”

Cassian comes to his feet and you pull one of his arms over your shoulders, allowing him to place his weight against you. You both begin to shuffle away when Cassian turns his head to look back over his shoulder.

“What about her?” he questions.

You glance back as well to see the crumpled woman on the floor. You no longer feel any fear, or anger, or hatred towards her. You feel nothing at all.

“I honestly don’t care,” you reply. “When our backup gets here, they can take her or leave her. I don’t care what happens to her after today.”

Cassian reaches across his body and clasps your hand within his. He gives a firm squeeze, then interlocks your fingers. Placing a soft kiss on your temple, he urges you to keep moving forward.

As you both walk into the fading sunset, you see a picture in your mind. A murkiness around the edges trying to invade the focal point of the image. But that center pulses with an overwhelming feeling of love, and safety, and contentment. 

You and Cassian stand together inside the image, holding onto each other and never letting go.

#cassian andor x reader #cassian x reader #cassian/reader #cassian andor/reader #star wars #star wars fanfiction #rogue one #smut #angst #hurt/comfort #tw abuse