guys can we PLEASE stop shipping riz w people. honestly at this point i kind of don’t even care if you yourself are also acespec/arospec/aspec.
yes, aspec people can be in relationships, etc etc, but riz specifically has expressed over and over and over again that that is something he personally has absolutely zero interest in.
he’s not just canonically aroace, he also canonically does not want a relationship.
“aroace people can be happy in romantic/sexual/queerplatonic relationships” is a true statement. “people who do not want to be in any kind of monogamous committed relationship can be happy in a monogamous committed relationship” is quite a bit harder to argue.
i’m just so sick of it. i’m glad we all understand that there’s nuance to aspec identities, and everyone’s expressions of and experiences with their own aspec identities are going to be different and personal.
like, it’s not even just about the asexual/aromantic aspect anymore. it’s also just refusing to let him not want to be in a relationship. why are so many people so resistant to the idea that he does not want to be in a relationship. like genuinely, why can you not accept that there are people who just don’t want that. who would just be unhappy in a relationship. why can’t you wrap your head around the idea that wanting a relationship is not a thing that everyone secretly wants. like, No, he hasn’t just not “met the right person” yet. because there is no right person. because he’s simply not interested.
this post is kind of rambly and not as effectively phrased as it could be i think but idc.
TL;DR: riz being aroace is not the only reason to not ship him. he also, explicitly and repeatedly, has stated he does not want to be in a relationship. “aspec people can be in relationships” is completely irrelevant because regardless riz simply does not want a relationship. please just respect thag.
edit: plz don’t like this is u wont rb. i won’t guilt you into rbing, it’s ur blog i’m not ur dad do what u want etc etc. it’s just irritating for me personally to see ppl interacting w this but not willing to actually put it on their blogs.
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Can i request fluff alphabet with graves? I dont mind what letters you do x
Hey! I did the first eight letters of the alphabet!
Fluff Alphabet for Graves
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
If it was up to him, then he’d go grilling with you every day. Loves teaching you how to barbecue, telling you about how hot the grill should be, what its components are, how long the meat and sausages should be on the iron, that sort of stuff. Graves also loves inviting his Shadows to a barbecue as well. That way he gets to unwind with you and them and you get to know the people he works with. Those are the small celebrations he looks forward to the most.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
On the one hand, he loves the fact that you’re independent and can go a long time without him. It’s necessary since he’s away a lot of the time. On the other hand, he does love how dependent you can be on him. Even just the small stuff gets to him, such as you having forgotten your wallet and wanting some ice cream, or you leaning into him for comfort when you’re watching a scary movie together. Yes, he loves you, but he also loves it when you need him. You’re his world, and he’s yours. He’s the big, strong man in your relationship and he’ll protect you from everything there may be.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
I feel as though he’d try to give you some unsolicited advice. You’re more than welcome to tell him to shut up, though. But other than that, he’ll try to crack some jokes here and there to get you to smile again. Also not above cuddling you and holding you close to make you feel protected and loved. Your panic attack wouldn’t be the first one he’s experienced, in all honesty. Sometimes, he helps with calming down his Shadows. Will calmly talk to you, play some games to help you get your mind off things as well. Will breathe with you too, if you’re okay with that.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
If it was up to him, then you’d be living on a ranch together. He grew up on one in Texas and sometimes wants to go back to that life. Just you being surrounded by cattle, sheep, horses and other kinds of animals. You’d have a nice German shepherd together and would tend to the animals together. Of course, he wouldn’t give up his PMC either, but he can dream about that sort of future. He doesn’t think it would ever become reality anyway. However, as long as he gets to spend his future with you, he’s happy.
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
He leans more towards being the dominant person in your relationship, but he can be passive at times as well. Usually has his hand on you somewhere as well as an act of dominance. Loves having you sit on his lap too, sometimes even in public when there are no chairs. People should know that you’re together and that he’s the one protecting you. He’s more than happy to consider your suggestions, but it’s usually him who decides where you end up going. Especially if you’re indecisive.
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
He’d be somewhat petty and resentful, but he wouldn’t let it out on you. He wouldn’t really let it out on anyone, he’s far too mature for that. However, you’d have to apologize to him for him to forgive you. As long as you’re being nice about it, he will. It’s rare for him to apologize unless he’s truly hurt you. When he was in the wrong about some fact he’ll usually ignore it. When he fights he gets a bit louder, his accent becomes a bit stronger, but that’s it. He won’t call you anything mean, but it will be known that he’s upset with you.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
He’s pretty grateful. Not as much as other people, though. He doesn’t always consider everything you’re doing for him. Not that he takes it for granted either, far from it, but he just doesn’t always think when he doesn’t need to. However, generally speaking, he is grateful for what you do for him. Will show it by either taking you on a nice date to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, or by taking care of your home in your stead for a while. You, too, deserve to have a day off from it all, after all.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
There are plenty of things he doesn’t tell you. Sure, it may seem like he’s very open about his job, but you’ll always get the feeling he’s not being entirely honest with you. However, aside from job related things, he’s a very honest man. While he may sugarcoat some things for you sometimes, he will tell you pretty much everything. You can ask him about any personal detail and there’s a good chance he’ll tell you about it. In fact, I encourage you to do so, Graves enjoys talking about himself to you. Ask him about his plans for you and him and he’ll get quite sappy too and won’t stop talking for an hour.
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Okay so I recently, finally, watched Wish and I have some thoughts. Overall, not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, but still has a lot of fundamental story problems and I've got to get them off of my chest. I'll mostly be focused on Magnifico because I think his motivations and arc largely represent the problem with the overall theme.
Okay so my biggest problem with Magnifico is his motivation. His tragic backstory. How on earth does he go from losing his whole family to thinking, the only way he can prevent that from happening again is to grant wishes? The logic doesn't track. It almost makes sense in his creating a kingdom where he protects everyone and "doesn't even charge rent," but it does not make sense with his wish granting. Having a great need to be control to make sure he doesn't lose anyone ever again can be a compelling motivation for a villain, where we see lines crossed that don't justify the intent, but in the movie, he's too self-absorbed to seem to have any actual care for the people of Rosas.
I think if the motivation was changed to something like Magnifico had once been a bright-eyed, enthusiastic wish granter who blindly believed all wishes were good but learned the hard way that that wasn't true could have been a better fit for the overall goal of the movie. Imagine that he granted a wish for a wicked person who used that wish to hurt others, or if Magnifico granted a wish but that wish ended up ruining the person's life because what they wanted wasn't what they needed (i.e. Remember The Princess and the Frog? Dig a little deeper) and that person could have went after Magnifico and blamed him for their troubles (harkening back to We Don't Talk about Bruno). This would be an understandable tragic backstory for Magnifico, and better explain why he's so careful about the wishes he grants. And, perhaps the reason he keeps the wishes he doesn't want to grant is to keep the people in his kingdom docile. No one will be angry with him for not granting their wishes if he makes them forget them and lose that drive and motivation, which makes more sense than the unexplained hording them like he does in the movie? Why does he keep them in the movie other than admiring the wishes? It doesn't make sense to me.
This would give Asha more of a reason to oppose him, if it's shown how his desire to not get hurt or to inadvertently cause hurt turned into a paranoia where he drains people of wishes to fly or play music that inspires others. And, as a side note, we need to see more of how Rosas is a kingdom of people who lack drive and motivation, where only those younger than 18 have that special part of them that inspires them to chase after a dream (something that Astor Rhymemaster touched on). Because that's the point of wishes, right? That's the point of the entire Disney canon. A dream is a wish your heart makes. That star can only get you so far, it takes hard work and determination. It's wanting something better in life, it's dreaming of leaving behind all you know to chase after a tangible light. It's finding a new dream, it's finding a new wish as you grow and learn about yourself and the world.
I don't think the movie Wish understood what makes wishes so important in Disney stories. You know what wishes do? They ignite change. It's not about getting what you want, it's about finding the courage to chase after something better. Ariel wants to be where the people are, but really she wants to be somewhere where others are willing to understand her and in the end, she finds that and makes amends with her father, who finally is willing to see her for who she is. Rapunzel wants to see the lights, and that desire pushes her to leave a tower she's been trapped in her whole life, learning that the world is not as cruel and cold as her abusive mother told her. Cinderella wants to go to the ball, to dance with people who treat her as a person and not a servant of cinders and ash. That wish is granted by a fairy godmother and gives her a hope that is worth fighting for, a hope that helps her reclaim what is rightfully hers; a glass slipper that fits only her and the love that comes with it.
Wishes inspire change. The movie should have been about that. Magnifico could have been right, that some wishes inspire negative change that can drag down multiple people. The kingdom of Rosas could have been so placid because change is scary. Maybe Magnifico could have convinced people, after taking their wish, that it wasn't worth it. Maybe the wish ceremonies could have changed so it wasn't portrayed as some sort of lottery everyone looks forward to, but Magnifico would grant wishes on the spot if he decided they were good and worthwhile, and he would lock away the wishes that would cause trouble and tribulations. 18 year olds could be enthusiastic to give him their wishes, thinking they were surely good and worth granting, only to forget their wish and be told that their wish would have only brought about their unhappiness, this would have justified a more solemn tone in the kingdom, setting up a world where people are mostly downtrodden, thinking their wishes are bad and pointless and they're better off without them. Imagine Cinderella or Rapunzel being told their wishes weren't good, reinforcing all the things their abusive families tell them, taking away that hope and courage to find something better for themselves.
Here's where the true conflict could come in. Asha could be onto this from the beginning, and her opening song could have been about this concern that the people who didn't get their wishes granted aren't willing to try at all. (Because, after all, why doesn't Sabino play music at all? Having that taken from him would take so much joy and creative expression from his life!) But why does Asha know something is amiss?
Simon.
Imagine that Magnifico has a strict rule not to ever share your wish with another person because then it wouldn't come true. It makes sense with our own superstitions, and then makes it so that no one knows anyone else's wishes. Maybe your best friend changes so drastically after giving up their wish, but you believe, like everyone else, that their wish would have only caused suffering. What can you do about it? Well what if Simon told Asha about his wish? What if Asha knew his wish wasn't dangerous and couldn't imagine a way that it could go wrong? That would give her a reason to doubt Magnifico and put more emphasis on how Simon has lost his drive like all the other adults in the kingdom. And it can also emphasize in the end that sharing your wishes and dreams with others can be a powerful thing. Just the act of sharing your dreams can inspire others to go after their own, and they can give you the encouragement to chase your wish too. Wishes inspire change, love gives you the courage to make it happen.
Imagine if the star boy used to be a human, who wished to help others and lost his humanity to do it. Imagine his wish confirms Magnifico's belief, that wishes cause suffering because star boy lost his tether to earth and is separated from the people he loves. Imagine how he foils Asha who also wants to grant everyone's wishes. Imagine him ensuring she doesn't make the same mistake he did while she gives him a reason to change again, to anchor himself to humanity again because he loves her enough not to leave for forever.
Imagine the movie confirming that, yes, change is scary. Chasing your dreams won't always make things better. You might fail more than you succeed and some wishes cannot coincide with each other, leading to grief and strife. But some wishes are worth it. Sometimes, chasing after something better and failing is worth leaving a worse situation. Sometimes taking that chance is worth it, and, like in all fairy tales, if you are kind and generous and act with love, that will make all the difference in the end.
Also, I know everyone wished for a Magnifico and Amaya evil power couple, but imagine if Magnifico was truly in love with Amaya, as he is in the movie, but that love is eventually his undoing. Like Amaya leaps in front of Asha, and Magnifico stops or redirects his attack because she's the one thing he loves more than himself and that is the weakness that Asha and co can take advantage of. Imagine Amaya keeping Magnifico in the mirror and he gets to dote on her from his imprisonment for forever. I'm just saying. At least 30 sickos like me would be into that. Imagine the depth it would give to the themes of love and change and wishing and how acts of love make all the difference.
Alright, I'll get off my soap box. I just really wish Wish could have been stronger because these fairy tales Disney is famous for matter. They really do. But the movie feels too stale and shallow and too much of a cash grab that knows the outline of a disney musical, but is unable to understand the heart of why they work.
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A weakness I remember in my public school education in the northeast USA is that it was clear on what the US Civil War was fought over (slavery) but it didn't actually explain why.
Like, really really WHY.
I don't mean the obvious human rights issue of slavery. If anyone is enslaved it should be intuitive to a decent human being that action needs to be taken to secure their freedom. What wasn't discussed in detail was why people were enslaved.
And by 'why' I am not stopping at 'to do work on plantations'; we read about that and saw pictures in our textbooks of how people were packed in on slave ships and tortured with beatings and giant metal collars because it wasn't a choice 'to work on plantations.' I mean like, why human beings who DID choose things, decided to commit to enslaving other human beings.
The answer to that is that wealthy people liked slavery and didn't want to give it up.
Not just in the sense that it's cheaper to not pay someone than to pay them. The obvious inequality suits the wealthy landed class; they won't be removed except by force, and they keep slaves, so to exist in proximity all people must then adopt some kind of framework to subdue natural empathy for other human beings or else just... be unable to tolerate reality.
If you can get people to accept that 'some people are slaves', and that's the normal way of the world, you can get them to accept basically anything.
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