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angeliccynthious · 4 years

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h a h look at the thing I did- All the vessels + Grimmchild,, and I’ll be sort of... talking about them further below. Wowie finally using this feature-- Basically its me recapping them as characters and how they are in the AU. This is going to be a long read god I’m so sorry :<

Ghost- Ghost is the energetic one of the vessels. They just do whatever they want, they literally often do not care a lot about what they do. Ghost likes helping others, because they just wanna fix a lot of things. They like making friends, and just-- having fun. Who wouldn’t? There are rare times Ghost gets mad, and when they do- they go big Shade Lord mode. In conclusion Ghost is just a very.. chaotic.. fun-loving-- andd-- helpful baby. We love them. - But onto how they appear once more- Basically, since this AU is a mix of both the dream no more ending and as well as the embrace the void ending,, this basically has Ghost go full on shade lord in their fight with Radi. They disappear afterwards, only leaving their shell behind. They are presumed to be dead by Hornet. As described quite a bit ago (when I first talked about this AU), Ghost is just.. verryyyy angry as the Shade Lord. They finally appear in Dirtmouth, lashing out and just being a ng y. They try to attack Hornet, but no, Hollow stops them-- fighting them off even in their weak form. Eventually they are given time to run back into the home they and Hornet have been staying in to retrieve Ghosts shell. Why do they retrieve Ghosts shell? Well, because they are aware that Shade Lord = Ghost. They just carefully lay their shell on the ground and sort of.. apologize. They do this by speaking to Ghost through void, void beings can do that right? Surely. Though eventually, Ghost calms down and accepts their shell, fitting their big Shade Lord form into their tiny shell. Then going to their siblings to... hug them.. strangely enough. Hollow would of course hug them back. Anddd-- thats that. Another thing that Ghost does is revive PK, Radi, and even get NKG up in the real world too. One more is that they too ‘revive’ their siblings Clematis (aka the Greenpath Vessel) and Beryl (Lost Kin/Broken Vessel) by getting Mask Maker to fix their shells and then they just yeeted them into the Abyss. After a moment, they go and retrieve them, and bring them to their parents so they can deal with them then. They too sort of helped Godseeker get out of the Junk Pit, because who wants to live in garbage? They do a lot of stuff. They are happy to help. Grimmchild- Ah yes, my favorite. Grimmchild in general is.. less.. childish than she was, of course she’d be less childish- She’s an adult. She has more sense than she used to, she’s much smarter, though still retains those silly aspects of hers. She’s rather protective, over Ghost mostly, and usually is always with and around them. best friends for life. She’s the one who generally calms Ghost down when they get angry. - Alrighty, so-- After Ghost presumably had died, Grimmchild was very sad, quite sad. She usually sought out Hornet or Hollow for comfort, but generally it was Hollow who’d give her pats and let her lay on their head. Hornet on the other hand, was quite busy,, doing Hornet things of course :> When Ghost returned, and was brought back to the house- oh-- what did Grimmchild do? Well, she literally tackled them to the ground in a hug (the way this bat lookin child hugs) because ‘oh my god, best friend is back, hi friend, you okay friend?’ and so on, just really happy to see them. And truly-- truly-- ever since then you can never see these two apart. How Lovely. Grimmchild has a good enough relationship with her ‘aunt’ Radi, generally it started off.. not that well but as time passed Radi decided to tolerate her (and Ghost) enough to actually be nice. Grimmchild usually seeks out Radi for advice and so on, some of the rare times that she’s away from Ghost. But when Ghost does allow her dear ol dad to actually exist in the real world (with their ultimate goddamn shade lord powers.. pff..), she’s very happy, very appreciative. Then theres the dilemma of her taking on the name ‘Grimm’ and her fathers name too basically being Grimm. She just calls him dad but usually they get confused on which Grimm someone is calling for. Silly. Clematis- Okie dokie, third one! and its the precious short baby, Clematis. Aka of course.. the Greenpath vessel. Clematis is a very meek fellow, and they generally like and appreciate being alone. They do sometimes like company, but peace and quiet is better than that. It’s quite obvious here, Clematis is not very social. They are not very skilled at socializing but a certain someone is gonna help em. - As stated before, yeah, Clematis gets basically revived alongside Beryl and given to PK and WL so they can properly take care of their goddamn kids. Even then, Clematis often hid in places that gave them such peace and quiet that they’d fall asleep there. It’d take a long while to find them. They are somewhat close with their mother, since she’d often take them to garden with her when they weren’t hiding. They formed a somewhat bond with Beryl, but Beryl eventually pushed them away because of how damn mean they are. Bad Beryl. Later in life, when Clematis is an.. adult? sure, they’ve reached their own prime form. Very short though for a vessel. By then, they are living alone in Greenpath. Somehow someway, they come to befriend the oh so lovely Lace, who’s just been seeking out someone who does not absolutely dislike her. The two become friends, and she just comes by often to have this one person who understands where she’s coming from. Both were very lonely, now they besties. And now, a fun fact, those flowers decorated them and their moss collar are clematis flowers. They generally are quite pretty. And oh-- Clematis likes to grow flowers as they did back in Queens Gardens with their mama. Beryl- Beryl! I love them, but god are they mean. As said, Beryl is.. quite mean,, quite stubborn. They feel as if they don’t need anyone, just preferring to do things their way. They don’t really like their family at all, and show it by once more- being a big ol bitch. Strangely enough though, the only person in their family they aren’t..really...that mean to-- is Lil Lady. Their littlest sister. They actually are nicer to her, one of the only moments they are gentle and nice are when they interacted with her. Sometimes, they are actually nicer to other people as well. That rarely happens though. - Yada yada- even when they are being taken care of by their parents they dislike them. PK is a bit distant as always, WL tries to give them love but they say no. They don’t want anything from these people. Since they already did grow a bit beforehand, they are the first out of the two revived siblings to reach their prime form. They once were nicer to Clematis, now the two barely interact. It’s kinda sad. (It’s not fully Beryl’s fault, Clematis just barely interacts with people anymore) During this time, a young Lil Lady gave them the ‘necklace’ that they still do wear to this day. They are sometimes teased for it. (Their little sister made it for them, don’t j ud g e) Beryl generally likes fighting, its very fun for them. So when Hornet asked them if they would like to be one of her knights, they ‘happily’ obliged. Then being one of her knights, they are constantly told off by Hollow, who’s one of her other knights because they don’t like to listen to orders. And they often get into little fights with Lace, who too is a knight of Hornets, because oh my lets step on the shortest one who you never agree with. Either way, Beryl isn’t totally terrible- but they never planned on listening to their parents when they tried to teach them to do better. Even though they are a bitch, their fellow knights (and family) will come to their aid if they need it. Hollow- FINALLY- the last one. Oh my god...I’m mostly taking this from the recent post I did about Hollow and their own reference. Hehe. Hollow is a very gentle vessel, and too is protective, mostly over their family. They have a deep care for those who they are related to, of course of course. They too hold deep respect for their parents, and for the most part, is somewhat ‘closer’ to PK, due to the fact he was the one who mostly.. raised them back then. They still are close with their mother of course. They are very friendly, but not as friendly as Ghost. More reserved?? sure. They are the one who usually keeps their fellow knights in check. - It all starts off with Hornet finding them strangely alive after the black egg is no more, and her helping them get to Dirtmouth and-- get patched up. After quite a while of recovery, the whole big shade lord thing happens-- and-- Hollow sees it fit to apologize to Ghost for everything, for leaving them to fall back into the Abyss. They are happy that Ghost accepts their apology and literally carries them back into the house. How cute. Afterwards, Hornet decides to finally take these two to see the White Lady. Oh at last, Hollow gets to face their mother. And so, they do. The moment is... quite emotional for the poor bean. They feel so guilty, that they weren’t truly empty, and WL reassures them with the notion that it was not them who failed their parents, it was their parents who failed them. She’s going to actually try to be a proper mother.. huh.. finally. And so, Hornet leaves Hollow with WL, Ghost coming along with her because they too feel as if those two deserve some time to fix things a bit. Ah, and once more-- a bit of a timeskip. Hollow has been living quite well with their mother, with her having unbound herself and gaining some of her sight back, enough that she is able to walk around without bumping into anything lmao. They get along quite well. When Ghost brings PK around, and Hornet finally drags him to Queens Gardens-- another emotional moment for Hollow. They go and embrace their father and wont let go until he asks them too..they’re just too damn happy to see him, though there is still that guilt of them failing him. PK himself is guilty. Then from that, and PK’s reunion with WL, they live.. quite happily, quite comfortably, and Hollow accepts their two siblings whenever Ghost is to bring them around. They are generally pleasant to their smaller sibs. But oh,, when their newest sibling finally arrives- Lil Lady- OH GOD- are they a loving big big sibling. They sort of,, cared for her a lot, and whenever PK and WL needed a break? They were there. Of course, they are a good influence on her, and Beryl is the bad influence. Though in general they have spent much more time with their little sister than Beryl has. Soon enough, when Hornet finally ascends to the throne, Hollow too is requested to be one of her knights, and of course they’d accept. This is their sister here. Whenever she is to need help, they help, and whenever their fellow knights need help, they are there. They feel useful like this, and Hornet does greatly appreciate their company and how they can easily split up Lace and Beryl from their constant fights. They’re truly an older sibling, scolding those two. And lastly, the whole Radi thing. I did explain this in that post about Hollow- but I’ll say it here too. Hollow wanted closure for everything, so they’ve gone and forgiven most people who have.. hurt them? yeah. This includes Radi. Radi doesn’t really want to be forgiven, she knows she did horrible things, and she isn’t the most guilty about them. But either way, they forgive her, and they somewhat become.. acquaintances?? friends?? They don’t really know. She’s just not as mean as she was to them before.. OH GOD- AND IM DONE AAAAAAAA This is a whole mess I tried my be s t whoever has read this whole thing, I thank you for reading my bullshit.

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barryallenis · 5 years

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While I’ve been writing fanfics for years, this is my first crack into the westallen fandom. This was written before 6x01 aired but I think stays true to Barry and Iris’s character and is my own interpretation of their grieving process after Nora’s loss. Most chapters to come on my fanfic account!

Soft sobs.

The only thing he could hear.

She sat curled against the dark tile, sobs growing in every breathe, quicker and quicker still, until her face was caked in tears.

He stood motionless, despite calls deep within his subconscious. He wanted nothing more than to lunge for the button beside him, to apologize, to hold her for as long as he could before she was...

And just then, the sobbing stopped. The distressed girl began to fade into the rigid wall behind her, breaking into pieces as if she were made of porcelain, filling the glass cage that held her. The brightness of the cage grew as the pieces spread, brighter and brighter. Body stiff, his mind screamed towards the light, begging it to stop, telling it he was sorry.

Suddenly, the brightness switched into darkness, darkness that grew small speckled spots and a faded streak in the shape of window panes.

He had regained mobility and his coarse hands immediately ran to his face, which was coated in a healthy layer of sweat. If it was not for everything else his brain was focused on, he would have commented on how ironic it was to have sweat so heavily laying still in bed when he had run several hundred miles at a time without so much as a bead.

Instead, his mind kept playing through the images he had just seen over and over again at hyper-speed. He did not need to fall back asleep for them to reenter in total clarity. He did not know how long he laid there, the sounds of sobs making his head ache, until his thoughts caught with a gentle touch to his forearm.

He looked down to see his wife's concerned, albeit wretchedly tired, eyes stuck on him. She did not move to speak.

"I'm alright, go back to sleep."

"Sleep". She riffed with jocular illusion.

Her dry sarcasm shook him out of his own heart, he turned towards her, now pleading her to speak.

"I keep expecting..." she bit her lip as it began to quiver "to suddenly forget... and I'm terrified. Because as painful as it is to live with what happened... I don't know what I would do if all we had of her was a - a book."

Suddenly Barry felt mute once again. He knew he didn't forget, his speed and his connection to the timeless void of the speed force kept him from that. It was the only reason he had started to lose his memories of the past in flashpoint. He was becoming human, with no origin story, no bolt of lighting, no dead parents, he had nothing connecting him to the speed force anymore. He remembered what that felt like, how hopeless he felt trying to cling to a reality that was no longer, how desperate he was that he let Thawne free - again.

What if Iris did forget? Would he be the only one to remember her? With her father's eyes and her mother's smile and her unwavering determination to set things right and leave a legacy all her own?

"You won't forget her. Because I wont forget her, and we'll find a way."

She sighed, gently closing her eyes, as if to squash a bad memory. Barry returned to staring at the ceiling, his eyes fixed.

Iris reached over and began to caress his forearm, until reaching down to grab his hand that laid squarely between them above the covers. His grasp was tighter than expected, more alert. She knew what was keeping him up, most likely, the same thing that had been keeping her. But even in the late night, when his thoughts should have at least been groggy, it was getting his full attention.

"Talk to me." She said softly.

He stared outward, unknowingly, before turning to give her a half hearted smile. "I'm okay, really." Her eyes were as soft as her hands, perhaps it was there dewiness from recent arise or most likely, just the look of someone, the only other person alive who could possibly understand any shred of what he was feeling. "I can't stop thinking about her either."

Iris bite her lip. "We have to take solace in the message she left. And know that we can carry out her legacy."

Barry just nodded softly.

"Barry I know these last few weeks particularly have been ... but she was smart and she knew, regardless, how much you loved her. You were her hero Barry, before she knew you were the flash and after everything that happened."

"She sacrificed herself..." he found himself saying this to a void, unsure if it was even out loud, "for me, so that I could have a future. How - how does a child...?"

Iris's eyes were misty now. But she'd never seen this look on Barry's face before. Maybe it was the lethargy or her coated eyes, but the only look she could register was shame.

"Barry -"

There was so much more he wanted to say but it caught in his throat as the word "hero" rang through his head like a church chime in his wife's demure voice. It was not the first time the title made him uneasy, the wormhole for one, all the death he had caused, the pain to the people he loved.

Nothing felt quite like this though. He didn't just feel unheroic, he felt inhuman. He had a strong desire to disassociate himself from his own body and yet, felt more grounded to it than ever. He was not "The Flash" or the "Masked Fighter of Central City" he was a father who had failed his daughter. He hadn't failed humanity, but he failed his most human role within it, supporting and protecting his child.

And as he looked over at his wife, her understanding eyes, he felt more ashamed than ever.

"I think I'm just gonna take a walk." He said as he began to remove himself from bed.

"Bare it's four in the -"

A whoosh. And he was gone.

He did not return that morning, as Iris readied for the day. She kept her phone close to her but she did not make a call. She kept looking at the front door, but she did not make moves towards it until she was on her way to her office. A small part of her wished for a fire in an abandoned building somewhere, big enough to need help but small and isolated enough no one got hurt, just something that sprung everything into action. The mundane activity she had been doing left too much room for her mind to wander. Through the last 6 months, the girl in her jacket, the man no longer under lock, and the one who has been taking a "walk" since daybreak.

Washing her face, making coffee, slipping on shoes, it all felt too normal. She had lost a child. A child who hadn't even been born, conceived, imagined, but her child all the same. She hadn't raised her... and yet, she had. Whatever she had missed in the first 27 years, without Iris and Barry, she would have never existed. It didn't make any sense to feel the way she did about what had been a total stranger all but 6 months ago. But there was a part of her subconscious that knew this separate, or future, life that would lead to those moments. Carrying her, delivering her, teaching her to walk, to talk, to think. Maybe it was the way Nora called her "mom" with such ease, even in their darker days early on her arrival. She didn't feel as though "mom" was a title for her, as if it were all a game, but the way she spoke it she made her believe it.

Upon returning from grabbing a sweater from her bedroom she heard keys rumbling in her padlock laden front door. A moment later her husband appeared, looking more disheveled than when he had rushed out of bed, his five o'clock shadow glowing against the dim foyer light. The couple made eye contact from the door to the stairs, both opening their mouths for delicate words, when a buzzing erupted from both of their pockets.

One look upon Iris's face and she felt a familiar whoosh of air, a jostling motion and she was suddenly back in front of the monitors of Star Labs.

"Glad I came in early today" Cisco said from a surprisingly far distance from her or any computer system. "Who thought wheely chairs were the right move for this room?"

"Barry it looks like there's a grand theft auto out of the dealership on 57th." Iris tapped along her dashboard in a familiar fashion. "CCPD is still several minutes out."

"Psh do people still think a sports car is faster than the flash just because it's 8 in the morning?" Crisco rang in.

Iris could feel Cisco's attempts at normalcy, his tone gentler then usual amidst his albeit, typical, jokes. She knew he meant well and that's the only reason she didn't punch him in the arm.

"Barry he's headed into the tunnel, if you don't stop him before I'm seeing high change of a massive pileup. Cisco can you turn the traffic lights on the way to the tunnel?" Iris asked.

"On it."

But there did not seem to be a need, as shortly after Cisco manned traffic control, the car veered off the road instead, hopping haphazardly into the mildly populated park that had once been beside him. Barry, who had been preparedly creating a vortex to decelerate the vehicle, had been thrown off course as well. His eyes instead became fixed on the child's playground directly in front of the target.

His vortex creation veered course, cutting tares in grass instead of concrete as Barry tried to keep up with the swerving car. Mere seconds later was the horse-powered car pulled to stop and its driver thrown from the vehicle. It was not deceleration that had been the culprit of the throw, but two red gloves.

"What, you think your life is so much above everyone else's you don't even think about the people you could have killed in the process?! Huh? All for a little joy ride?"

Barry was standing over him now, a man now defenseless and disoriented, his figure getting closer and, seemingly, angrier with every step.

"I wasn't gonna hurt anybody -" the man pleaded at the face of the hero.

"You think you choose whether you get you hurt someone or not?" He was screaming now, his hands finding them to the man's collar, yanking him to his level. Onlookers began to watch from a distance. "No, your reckless behavior is what chooses! You wanted a car that was worth endangering the lives of all these people to get. All of these children -"

"Flash!" A voice rang out from across the park. Barry turned to find Ralph, or rather, elastic man, standing among a crowd of park goers, parents and children among them. "You gonna cuff him or...?"

#the flash #westallen #barry allen #iris west #iris westallen #nora west-allen #flash #mywriting #ive missed writing #if you want further look into my work tbh maybe ill link my pretty little liars page one day #when im not ashamed of that show #so maybe never

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phantomoftheblank · 4 years

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Authortube is horrible and why I’ve turncoated to Booktube. I wont apologize but I will argue.

I’ve consumed about 5 hours worth of Authortube just to write a shitty think-piece about it, so now we gotta have this talk. If you’re unaware of what I’m talking about let me explain; YouTube is a website that used to be about cat videos but now splits itself into subsections THAT ARE DEFINITELY NOT CULTS, but kinda looks like it at times,

Though these genre’s aren’t really official, there is a genre for just about everything, and creative things especially. You have plenty of genres and way too many Youtubers to express it, and despite my pretentious nature I actually love how congested it is because it means its accessible to almost everyone, anybody can pretty much join in,

(Yeah I know, what a progressive queen I am, please give me claps for the bare fucking minimum,)

Gaming is probably the biggest on YouTube right now, but we like to pretend that it doesn’t exist and consume that content in the darkest corners of our house and pretend we don’t like it. Anyways; Authortube is kind of self explanatory and despite what a man-splainer I am as a 21 year old female, I think you get the point on what it is,

Well, with Authortube, we are making books to be consumed, and with this happening, Booktube has also bloomed. And in my judgemental opinion, it is actually better, and no, I’m not gonna go on the rampant that “we need to learn our audience” because preying on a bunch of minors doesn't sound very nice.

Or legal, actually, yikes. It’s not like that, don’t make a judgment, we authors just want their money, not their mental state. Okay, I need to shut up, let’s talk about shit posting again,

It’s actually not all minors, there’s plenty of adults on BookTube as well, which actually makes it that much more relatable, as to where Authortube is mainly adults who are going through routes to publishing their book or already have. Now, don’t attack me just yet, it’s my turn to argue honey and I brought an unloaded gun to the canon fight, I have an example for you.

Let’s take a look at Jenna Moreci, who is lovely, but also pretentious as all fuck. So me, but successful, not broke, prettier and in video format. In all seriousness I understand her audience, it’s primarily youthful writers looking for advice or writers looking to self publish because they see a success story, but this advice is all very mediocre and this isn’t a Jenna problem, this is an Authortube problem, Jenna Moreci is just an unfortunate example to explain my point,

She’s even made certain content I can consume and not wanna spittle up, but it’s only when she herself is in the frame, and mainly when writing is not what she’s trying to teach me about. Jenna as a person with personality is quite lovely and very watchable, but Jenna as a self-publisher is part of the reason why I’ve turncoated.

Writers aren’t puppies, you can’t teach them tricks, and though writing advice is important to get, I don’t see there being a lot of purpose in having 18 YouTubers telling me Show not Tell, but never following the same advice.

You don’t get that lecturing attitude from Booktube, you get lovely personalities like Ariel Bisset and hilarious reviews from Cat (Paperbackdreams) and it actually becomes more watchable because it feels more genuine because they’re actual people in front of a camera, talking about what they enjoy, that’s because they aren’t trying to sell you something.

To compare two examples, for Authortube we’ll use Jenna Moreci, and for BookTube, we’ll use LilyCReads,

LilyCReads, a BookTube channel, who used to do hilarious reviews on plenty of books, in a more so ranting fashion, and this worked for her, her audience grew a lot because of it. But eventually, she felt so obligated to make rant reviews she stopped enjoying the process of making the videos entirely, so with this being her emotions, she took down her rant reviews due to feeling too negative about it. Her greatest fear was becoming a rant review channel focusing on negativity. Though many of these videos I loved from her, she took them all down, which at first, was a bit saddening for me, as I watched those videos after a long day, oftentimes repeatedly, but I could not deny her genuine emotion to not wanting to be negative.

And honey, I can’t relate, but I can say LilyCReads is one of the most genuine faces you will see on camera now. Has her subscriber count faced a backlash to this? Yes, she took down what -- in my opinion -- was her best videos.

I don’t laugh when I watch her videos anymore, so this isn’t to say Booktube is perfect but I can say she is much more of a person for it and has not re-uploaded the rant-reviews for viewership at my time of writing this.

And then we have Jenna Moreci, as we’ve discussed is very likable person and that’s why she’s succeeding, but it’s very hard to get a genuine feeling from her unless you have a bias to content you’ve enjoyed from her, so eventually “Cyborg” starts feeling less like a joke, and more like a reality,

This leads us to a very conflictive point, which is Marketing; and trust me, I don’t wanna talk about the marketing of a book no more than you wanna read about it, but the bottom line is we can’t finish this topic without at least mentioning it,

And it is worth mentioning because that is actually the drive that most people start these channels with. Though for some I’m sure they do actually enjoy it, but others whom I won’t mention, it feels as genuine as my hair extensions; looks right in certain angles, but is definitely about to come unglued.

It’s worth mentioning that I only started this blog because I wanted to become involved within a writing community and eventually begin marketing my own shitty book I wrote, so I come at this with not judgment, but a realization. The only reason I continue to do this right now is because I find a genuine enjoyment from it, but I don’t get to choose when my writing feels genuine to you, and it is only fair to mention, that those were the intentions I started with.

I understand the point of marketing but it’s also worth mentioning how fucking skeezy that actually is, when our audience is more of a person than we actually are as writers/authors. And if you’re reading this as somebody who isn’t a writer, but is a reader, then you’re in the clear, but if you’re a writer, be aware of this before you bleach the side of your head to maintain a “funky skunky stripe” and start a Tumblr blog like I did.

I was a redneck before this, can you believe that? Shame. I feel lots of shame.

Now, I’m not saying marketing your book makes you evil, I’m just saying that it’s hard not to get wrapped up in the business mindset because publishing a book on your own is fucking terrifying. It’s scary to realize that you may have put months/years into a book that will flop because you made 2 less Instagram posts last week. Trust me, I get it, but at some point Authortube took a great plunge.

And though yes, this is all my opinion, I think we all know it’s quite clear I really only care about what I’m saying at the moment, so I really don’t give two shits about who you watch on YouTube, but I will say, if you enjoy Authortube, you’ll love Booktube, and I hope you love both, because both have important places.

But I’ve become biased to people and I can’t help but scan every person I meet, see, or know to make sure they’re genuine. I like seeing people because we are surrounded by capitalization run amok. Everything is a god damn advertisement and it’s honestly driving me insane, so it is nice to relax, kick back and watch somebody read ‘Searching Around Nebraska’, a book I’ll never read, but listen to somebody talk about because at least I know they enjoyed it.

And it’s important for me to watch people enjoy things, I’ve lost all happiness in the void of my self-conscience telling me to pay for Facebook advertisements, I mean god damn guys my pretentious mindset has me syringe-ejecting serotonin from videos about red pandas, and injecting it directly into the bloodstream. It’s like crack, but cuter.

My point is, reading is hard and writing has fried my brain, support nice people with small channels because they’re more likely to write a diss track on me and that’s all I truly want. Bully me, mommy.

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hisfatherwillhearaboutthisx · 6 years

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Four-Hundred and Twenty Seconds. (Draco Malfoy x Hufflepuff! Reader)

House of Reader: Hufflepuff Requested?: Yes!!!!! Request: HENLO (scREAMS AFGRESSIVELY) I loved your hufflepuff imagine omF can I request one hufflepuff x Draco fluff where the draco never knew the trade existed until they played 7 minS in heaven and got paired up and stuff escalated very quickly c; and Draco confesses or smtG (feel free to tweak or change iT!!) tHANK YOU SOSOSOS MUCH Much hugS from the puFfLe hoUSe PS I lOve slytherpuff relationships so muCh (chokEs) A/N: oMg, I just love your enthusiasm. I may be a Slytherin but I also love slytherpuff relationships// so cute ^_^. Anyway if you’re who you think you are, then I’ve checked my activity and you’re my number one follower!!please PM me so I can follow you!!!!!!!!!

This is 100% not my scene. At least it doesn’t suit my persona seeing as my whole school life I’ve been a quiet Hufflepuff and now I’m here at a part with some of the rowdiest kids in my entire year. I can safely say that I know 4 people in this room, it’s not like I’ve spoken to them before but I know their names. holding a cup full of definitely spiked drink I noticed everyone forming a large circle in the middle of the room. as a result of having little to no knowledge of parties my curiosity took over me and I stuttered over to the group of students.

“ooh a Hufflepuff has come to join us, now the party is starting” I smiled down at the very drunk boy probably in the year below me. I took a seat next to him and spotted a long green glass bottle sitting resting on its side in the middle of the circle. A tall blonde boy entered the circle and squashed his lanky form in-between two boys about 3 people away from me. He had a bright smile as his eyes landed on the bottle. “what muggle shit is this” the entire circle erupted into laughter. The younger boy from before stood up and hushed everyone.

“well this is more interesting than quote on quote muggle shit” Everyone quietened down and listened to the boy. “It’s called 7 minuets in Heaven, someone will spin this bottle and person that the mouth piece points to has to go into the cupboard with the other person for 7 minuets.” the circle once again erupted into discussion.

The blonde boy lunged towards the bottle, he wrapped his fingers around the bottle and twisted his wrist so that the bottle flew around the circle slowing down and eventually pointing dead centre with where my legs were crossed. I didn’t react as quick as the boy did; his friends all developed long grins as they chanted “Draco got the Hufflepuff! Draco got the Hufflepuff” he turned back to his friends and whispered a harsh ‘shut up’. He rose from his place on the floor and held his hand out to me

“come on then…” I took his hand hesitantly and followed Draco to the cupboard. The space was small and smelt like damp.

“It’s so dark in here” I whispered lightly into the air, Draco turned his face to me fully “but you seem so bright…” the boy trailed of his speech faltering. “What’s your name, I never asked sorry” for a Slytherin his boy was being very considerate. Draco Malfoy, I remember him now; he’s meant to be a really intimidating person that younger years will tremble at the sight of, yet here he is apologising for not asking my name?

“oh it’s y/n, I wont be surprised if you didn’t know me” I laughed gesturing at our ties to highlight our differences.

“I do actually know you, I err, well I really like you and I just didn’t want this to be awkward if I didn’t know what to talk about for the next seven minuets. You kind of make me nervous” I let out an accidently obnoxious snort. “I make You, nervous? How on earth?”

he shrugged letting his shoulders go slack and leant against a shelf of small cement objects. He smiled back at me sweetly, “You know you look a lot different from our first year… You’re hair seems to be darker, and you never slick it back anymore” I giggled pushing my hair flat against my head to mimic his old look. He laughed at me and pulled my hands away from head to make me stop. We looked down to our hands and how are fingers perfectly interlocked. I smiled up at him as his eyes fluttered shut. We closed the small space between us and our lips pressed against each other in a way of passion and love. I never knew I felt this way about him. But I guess I do…

His hands went to my cheeks and felt the heat of my face push against his palms. He pulled away running his thumbs over my cheeks again smiling down at me in sweetest way.

But his kiss left me hungry, hungry for him.

I pulled his short collar back to me as he let out a shocked gasp. Draco smiled and pushed his face closer to mine on an attempt to fill the void that he had left within me. He gripped my wrists, his long fingers wrapping around the structure as if it were that of a statues. He handled me so delicately, as if I would break at the touch of a feather. I was hungry. No, starving. He made me so very hungry… Draco released my wrists and let his hands travel, ever so slowly. Somehow his small caring gesture seemed so sensual, everything worked me up that slight bit more. His touch was like a small cut, the pain the felt so good but still makes you need release. There’s no combination of words that could ever perfectly capture his touch. My knees buckled as his hands softly ran up to my underarms, as he slowly lowered me to the ground. His knees were either side of my own, he kept moving up my body coming closer until my back met the cold concrete floor. The sudden chill with the sensation of his perfectly soft fingers pushed a whinny moan from my swollen lips. Draco’s fingers gingerly continued their adventure across my torso to the bottom of my shirt. For every inch he raised the shirt, he would leave a small wet kiss on the exposed skin. Everything he does drives me crazy. The shirt was pulled over my head making my hair shift uncomfortably against the unfamiliar surface of the floor. Now that there was no layers between me and the concrete, every little sensation of his touch was heightened tenfold. He ran his index finger down my bare body all the way down to my skirt. He experimentally rugged at the elastic. “Draco… please do something…” my voice was hardly a decidable above a breath. “We don’t have much time honey” Honey… just as smooth as his voice and touch, how could I possibly make him feel the same way I feel about him. Every little thing he does drives me absolutely insane. Every light touch makes me squirm and wriggle. I loved it… dangerously. Draco pushed my skirt high enough so that my hips were exposed. He tugged harder this time in an attempt to pull my underwear from my hips. He left a small kiss by my pelvis, making my hips rise and underwear roll off effortlessly. He stared down at me… …his masterpiece A completely wrecked girl, entirely consumed by a man who’s hardly done anything. So weak… The darkness only allowed me to see his shadowy figure, and as the figures head disappeared between my thighs, everything was so different. His soft caress had magically transformed into a hard lick from my entrance to clit. He felt so good. All the moans and groans of his name were released. His fingers followed his tongue. Slowly a finger entered me, and all sense was lost. “So wet, all for me… ah, you taste so good” he pulled away slightly to blow his icy breath over my aching pussy. A loud raspy moan left my lips once more. The complete combination threw me into over drive. “Everything, so perfect. And all mine…” The sentence played over again and again in my head as his fingers continued to go deeper and faster, building up the sensation within my lower stomach, I was so close and I knew that he could tell. He clasped his open mouth around my pussy and quickens the pace of his fingers, his eyelashes tickled my skin as he looked up to my eyes in a daring manner. The boy was too much. I couldn’t hold it anymore, everything was so perfect, he sucked hard at my clit as I released into his mouth, a shudder of embarrassment ran through me making my body become hot and flushed. Draco sat up between my legs and pushed his fingers past his lips and onto his light pink tongue. “Ahh Honey, you taste so sweet” the nickname he had given me that night referred my house and the difference between us but we always come back together eventually. Being too overstimulated too move, Draco pulled my shirt back on and sorted my hair and clothes out to look presentable again, almost as if nothing had happened in these past minutes. “Draco…” “Yeah Honey?” I bit my lip with a lump in my throat “You didn’t get to cum, and I feel bad…” my timidness had returned and I was no longer in this state of sexual confidence. Draco smiled sweetly and purely at me, his arm draped over my shoulder pulling me closer. “Well that just gives you the excuse to see me again… don’t forget this night”

• • • • • • • [x] I kinda decided to make this a smut, I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted and if it really bothers you Annon I could make a fluffy version...

#draco x reader smut #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy smut #harry potter #harry potter imagine

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darktyrannomon · 7 years

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this is such a first world problem but idk if i can actually talk about it with my parents so here goes

so we’ve not really been able to afford big xmas presents for a few years now, like we’d get pjs/clothes and maybe two other small things and they’re always nicely wrapped and i’ve never minded in the slightest cause yeah,maybe i’ll end up with something that just clutters my room but im still grateful i get anything at all. its just a christmas present - its just a birthday present. birthdays mean shit to me and christmas i preferred when i was alone at uni, although im told it ‘didn’t feel right without me’ in those years and i got told not to do that again. this year is going to be worse cause i still haven’t acknowledged my brother’s existence since The Argument, and I don’t plan to any time soon. whatever happens at xmas will be a nightmare and honestly i don’t even want to wake up that day.

when i started getting this government paycheck i made a joke that i’d be able to buy the switch with that money, and my mum said she’d buy me it for xmas. this was 3 months ago

since then she’s asked me twice if that was what i wanted, and to keep an eye out for any deals. i said either that or a cat. she said well the cat would be a third of the price but we cant do that right now. she said i wouldn’t get anything else at xmas and i really wasnt expecting anything. we haven’t had big xmas presents since i was like 11 and got a nintendo console. she said she wanted to get me something i actually wanted, and i said stuffed animals are always a good shout but she wont buy me more cause there’s not enough space in my room (lol) even though two years ago my sister bought me the pokemon center charizard x plush and i very literally broke into tears because someone, for the first time in 15 years looked at me and thought ‘what would temp appreciate’ and it meant so much and i kept it with me for the ENTIRE day and days to follow like a prized possession.

and yeah i’d like a switch, but i also wanted the wii u and never got it. i can save up for one if i try hard enough, and its a LOT of money. i know we’re struggling and i Do Not Care if i get it or not cause what’s the point if it makes my parents more miserable. im awkward about receiving things anyway, but expensive things make me feel especially bad.

and actually

i dont want anything

i feel so numb and detached that actually, i don’t know if i truly desire that at all anymore. i don’t want anything. i dont even want food let alone material possessions. she wants so bad to get me something i’ll like and want that how do i tell her im so fucking depressed and dissociative that i don’t want to keep breathing let alone have this gaming console. how do i tell her i can’t feel what love is supposed to be anymore, how do i tell her i dont know when people are mocking me, how to tell her i cant keep explaining myself for people just to fucking judge me everywhere i go, how can i tell her i don’t plan on living til xmas let alone experience anything in it.

how do i tell her i dont know how i felt at con yesterday, which normally fills me with excitement, just left me with a massive gaping void and i dont know what to do with my life anymore

my existence is a mistake, im faking a fucking smile every time i have to interact with people and i am visibly cracking, my patience is waning, with every day im becoming more volatile and more numb like a complete fucking (oxy)moron ahd i hate it, i hate being alive and i hate living, and i hate doubting the bonds i have to the extent that i feel that none of the people i meet/are ‘friends’ with are real, despite skyping them/meeting them in person. i just cant see people as human beings anymore and im gradually slipping on what little grasp of the vague sensation of friendship that i have

honestly the switch thing isn’t as huge as it probably is, i can probably go up to her with ease and say ‘don’t worry about it, if you’re fussed i’ve found x/y/z that is more financially okay’ and it’d be fine

everything else is just tied in and woven around it though, and i appreciate that my anxiety is latched to this one oddly specific thing to cover up the mountain of other problems going on atm

ive lost sense of who i am and i can’t progress forwards.

its stupid and superficial but i’d much have a physical friend preferably in the shape of a cat than any material possession, and i collect material possessions. rather,i hoard them. generally buying stuff gives me a momentary buzz hence.... lots of plushies. all of this feels like an #edgy post and im so sorry if you’re reading this i just have a lot of pent up stuff that’s just circling round this void hole in my damn chest and i feel so empty and is anything even worth it.

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musearch-blog · 5 years

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Olivia O’Brien: All about her music

Hi everyone!

Do you remember the “I hate u, love you” song by Gnash that became really popular in 2017? Did you know that the featured artist, and original author, in this track was a 16-year-old girl who had previously covered one of Gnash’s songs on SoundCloud? Her name is Olivia O’Brien and today we are going to explore her career as a singer and songwriter while analyzing how has her perception of life and love changed through the years.

The Single “Trust Issues” is her first solo single. This song talks about how she is not able to maintain a relationship because of her own doubts about people, she can’t help distrusting everyone. She uses the classic phrase “It’s not you it’s just me”, explaining that she can’t let anyone love her due to her fear of betrayal. Olivia states that she has Trust Issues which cannot be solved.

https://open.spotify.com/album/6xiOhG85RasYka2y4CNMAU?si=abGtTm3XRgWCsTPWzX2sRw

Let’s not forget, that she uploaded the demo version of “hate u love u” on Soundcloud during 2016. The previously mentioned single, later officially recorded with much better sound quality and some little fixes here and there, talks about how Olivia is very close to a guy who’s she’s in love with. The issue here (because there’s always a problem) is that he doesn’t love her back, cause he’s in love with another girl. In this song, the american songwriter expresses sadness and impotence for not being able to “be her”, the one he loves, while blaming him for not noticing her. As well, she’s aware that thinking about him is not healthy, but she just can’t stop. Olivia loves him and hates him at the same time... Yeah, those feelings are relatable to almost everyone.

https://open.spotify.com/album/0rajxwGsaQ1sqoegXK6gvw?si=7z6RsGG6QpiMTvFb6IPA7w

Now, moving on to her next single “Root Beer FLoat (prod. by Gnash)”, is kinda weird… I mean, if your listen to this song and interpret it literally, your first impression of Olivia would be that she’s flying up in cannabis clouds. Nevertheless, then you'll realize that she’s actually describing how it’s like to get faded and live a crazy life full of “fun”. We’ll see later how her perception of debauchery later changes.

https://open.spotify.com/album/4P0lFGK6UFLojxEzh6DqBM?si=xEJar-V6RTW2gfITcp-YyQ

Her next song is “Find what you’re looking for”, which is such an empowering single. It talks about how Olivia grew tired of loving to a boy who doesn’t really cares about her but asks her to stay because he doesn't want to be lonely. In other words, she regrets staying for so long when she knew that everything was a lie and finally says goodbye giving her best wishes to her ex. Also she portrays one of the most common situations now a day: girls and boys being rebellious and trying to look cool when they are actually trying to fill that void inside of them. Basically, she realizes that she’s more precious than a boy who’s using her as a toy.

Sorry, I couldn’t find the cover in better definition :c

https://open.spotify.com/album/09bMRl0m2qgtMT6QzOP4pd?si=MStFQ2aTTL2IIr3fDWZ7mw

In 2017, Olivia finally released her first EP called “It’s not that deep”! And let me tell you that this album is perfect for those times when you stop believing in love. *insert sad melody*

https://open.spotify.com/album/5XFhtk8Svc1NWYYgrkZjpI?si=vdWve4YTRlSKJlyYEDNxJw

The opening song, “Tequilawine”, is inspired by a party where she got drunk by pouring tequila into a half empty wine bottle and chugged it. Really poetic, Olivia. Nonetheless, the song itself expresses the reason behind this reckless behavior: She wants a guy who played with her before but she doesn’t want to expose herself that easily, as a result, she's “Mixing this drinks until he’s out of focus” so that she won’t even notice him.

The second song is “F*ck Feelings” where, as the title says, she condemns feelings because of her confusion at trying to figure out if her crush feels something for her when she has already fallen for him. Although, because she knows that she’s isn’t able to handle him turning her down, she tries to keep a distance which becomes impossible due to her love towards that boy. I know, this sounds like a tongue twister: another reason to hate how complicated feelings are.

Moving on to “Empty”, this song is really, really deep, so I would recommend you to move on to the next paragraph if you are a sensible person. This song is more about personal feelings and struggles, conversely to the previous songs. According to Olivia, it was really difficult to write this song because it let the world know that she’s vulnerable and can get easily sad. Basically, the song portrays how feeling empty is like: you feel like you don’t have anymore reasons to live and you just wanna throw yourself away; you can’t control your auto destructive behavior and just let yourself drown in alcohol and drugs; you can’t see the point in living but you’re just too afraid to die; and even if you are trying to do your best to fix yourself, you keep making everything worse, so eventually you just give up and wait for the inevitable. It’s really hard to portray this kind of emotions in a single song and it’s even harder to share it with the world: one of the reasons why I admire Olivia O’Brien, she has been even deeper that rock bottom and managed to return to the surface.

Now, let’s shake off all the sad vibes and move on to another empowering song! Its name is “R.I.P” and it means so much to me because it helped me to overcome a difficult moment in my live. It let me know that it’s okay to miss the good ol’ times even if they are not coming back, but eventually, you have to bury that memory and move on, be strong enough to “not answer that sh*t” because it doesn't matter anymore. So, R.I.P in a nutshell: One of Olvia’s closest friend or perhaps boyfriend has drastically changed, he became just like the people they hated; as a result, she’s leaving his memory six feet under, knowing that it won’t come back and it’s better to get over it.

The last single of “It’s not that deep” is ..... “No love”! We can chill a bit because this song is not that personal: get some snacks and drinks an enjoy a break from deep feelings. Olivia realized that people in the music industry are just fake. They give fake love in order to get credit, fame and contacts, and once they achieve their goal, they just stab you in the back. Yeah, just like high school but the students are famous and extremely rich. So, as an evidence of how this situation annoys Olivia, she wrote this song as a way to low-key expose them and show what really happens in L.A.

Spoiler Alert: This is just the beginning of a rivalry between Oliva and the music industry.

Finally, her next Album “Was It Even Real?” will be released on April 26th, 2019; although she has already shared 4 singles that will be included in this album.

Note: Today, 31/03/19, Olivia realeased the 5th single “Just Friends”, nevertheless, it wont be included in this analysis :c

We’ll start with “UDK”, this song is about people who start hating, judging and talking about people who they don’t know (UDK is the abbreviation for You don’t know). She explains that nowadays everyone believes whatever they hear without any proof. Unfortunately, what she says is amazingly accurate, and I’m a 99.9% sure that you been through the same problem at least once in your life.

https://open.spotify.com/album/1htk6Vanc9Gl494tL0V3iB?si=Fw2DCgULRr-Nx_-KvLGvgQ

The next song, “I don’t exist”, is also one of my favorites. It was born as a result of one of Olivia’s therapeutic writing sessions where she lets all of her feelings out of her head. This track describes how there are times when you feel so empty and depressed that it gives you a sense of not being anywhere. During these times you don’t find your life interesting and just wanna go back to when everything was brighter. And, even if you try everything to feel excited and happy again, it never lasts: it’s difficult to know if you are real when you can’t feel anything. Nonetheless, it's important to recall that you are your own salvation: the change begins with yourself and only you have the power to decide how are you gonna get out of the situation. Fortunately, this amazing songwriter has also given some advices to her fans through social media in cased they feel identified with the struggles she mentions in her music.

Fun Fact: This song is also inspired by her experiences at the music industry. What’s your opinion about L.A now?

https://open.spotify.com/album/0VEtZgtg2Uk4CvT37cFgBx?si=SFJLmCWfRJ6MBEE1scfseQ

The third track is “Care Less More”. It perfectly describes a relationship where two people frequent each other in order to fill up the gap left by their ex-lovers. Nevertheless, they are unsure, so they keep telling themselves that they don’t feel anything for each other while playing “this game of who can care less more”. Moreover, if you pay attention to the last part of the song, you can realize that Olivia is subliminally suggesting that the boy is actually caring about her. Although, this is just my point of view.

https://open.spotify.com/album/0trfa5BfNcC0Wp5wBy7eHu?si=HykMEpx7Rm66wfcD83HMcg

Finally! Her last track, and probably the most inspiring, “Love Myself” was released this year. After NUMEROUS sad songs, Olivia has found the solution to most of her problems: Just love yourself. During the first Verses, she states that she’s different from everyone else and isn’t even sure of who she is. Conversely, she affirms that it doesn’t matter if you don’t have a solid plan yet, you just have to let all the judgements go and start loving yourself. Olivia realizes that it’s senseless to care about what will people say because they are gonna talk anyways. So... why don’t just be yourself? In addition, she affirms that in order to truly love someone, you have to love yourself, otherwise, you will lose yourself.

https://open.spotify.com/album/4gg4tspg0MgBXY4SF2DhTb?si=MODP70auRNKgQevS7_Jlvw

To sum up, Olivia O’Brien is an extraordinary songwriter with so much to share to the world despite her age. Her music is basically focused on personal struggles and it’s main purpose is to let her fans know that it’s okay to feel that way and that she has actually been through that; nevertheless, you will eventually get over it and move on. Also, I can assure you that hearing to these songs when you are feeling down will help you to clarify your feelings and get a better perception of your situation; and later or sooner. you will find a solution to everything.

We have to survive the storm in orden to find the clarity, we have to fall before we get up and we have to make mistakes in order to learn.

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voidhater-blog · 7 years

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concerning void/null/data/diavolo/outsider

so if you didn’t know, I’ve made something similar about void ONCE BEFORE, because in general, they’re was gross and a known abuser. they’s generally came back yet again and has accused me of shit yet again and i told them there would consequences to their actions if they didn’t make a public apology so here we go again on this road..... especially in claims that are up on this page ( archived ). more to be added and feel free to expand on this if needed

this post is about tumblr user leemte ( leemtea ) / voidleviathan / @saintpretense / floaras / shvbon / vcoalesce / nbgiornos / twobased /goethartig / goddessfavor / @oholiness and others.

here are several other posts about this person: here, here, here, and the blog

tw for pedophilia accusations, sexually explicit talk from a minor, and death threats & suicide encouragement.

YES THIS IS ME!!!! What do you expect, literally you have suicide baited your way into making your friends say ( noah in question, bunny in question ) saying they wanted to shoot me. their reasoning after i confronted them about it ( you never apologized hmm ). BUT LETS NOT FORGET THAT YOU WANTED US DEAD AS WELL.

remember how you said i wanted you to kill yourself without any proof but you turned around and said this in the same chat that you conveniently cropped out of your cute little chat!!! sorry that we wanted to stop being friends with you so you called us pedophiles and ERASED OUR MENTAL ILLNESSES YET AGAIN!!!

BUT REMEMBER HOW YOU SAID WE WANTED YOU TO KILL YOURSELF? WHERES THE PROOF I EVER SAID I WANTED YOU TO KILL YOURSELF?

but yeah okay!!! so lets talk about this conversation [ Part One & Part 2 ] in question, when i found out that void was saying i fetishized my own abuse and erased my status as a CSA Survivor and A Incest Survivor ( Note they’ve removed this from the callout post after I told them i was gonna out them for the disgusting being they are but :) ) which i admitted to on a public twitter.

( proof this exists via my original reblog of the post calling them out on it before they edited it, which the admitted to removing in the logs )

anyway i apologized to them for my lack of ‘civility’ for this whole thing as you can see in the logs, but here are some caps just incase yall need more.

anyway i can’t believe i have to snatch their wig yet again but heres some more shit of them lying about being poor. so first things first. lets talk about where they live and about how they are a habitual liar. so first off, they sent themselves doxxing anons, so that they could garner symapthy from myself and my significant others and tried to blame it on me. im the only person who knows they were @ leemte & leemte. i don’t know their address but they sent me this.

HMMM YOU PLAYED YOUR SELF BITCH!!! Heres the cap they showed me upclose and personal. so the discussion of where they live, they’re many times have said to the people they rp with that they live in a predominantly brown and poor community. nijmegen is not a predominantly brown and poor community, according to someone that lives around the way ( a mere train ride away at that ), said that it was and i quote ‘ white and rich ’

hmmm??? void what is the truth void??? what is the truth!!! you can find some testimonials from the black working person in question here.

in other news, in regards to that page they have up. here is peaches who they stayed with for 1 month, who is significant others with PERSON A ( who will now be refered to as person a, as they have said they didn’t want to be involved with void anymore or felt comfortable with void anymore, it’s taken them 6 months to speak out about void’s abuse and now void is PURPOSELY drawing them into this even though they know THIS ) Sibling’s ( Named Gem ) Girlfriend who they stayed with for a while ( they are Aegis of Man and Gem is sparrowhearted )

( links one / two / three for readability )

not only do i have recorded testimony of void throwing hissy fits (which i can give out if needed) but also the fact that void purposely did not shower or put on deodorant during their stay. so this SMELLY BALD PIMPLE FACED LITTLE RAT sexually pressed person a and disparaged them for coming out as masculine and would not use masculine pronouns for them. heres you yet again being shitty to trans boys you transphobic piece of trash

and lets not forget you being openly sexual at 16 with people who didn’t want to, there are multiple receipts buddy of shit like this where people would try to get you off their back about your disgusting rape fantasies but helen, wait theres more: here is you yet again admitting that youre a fucking liar

BIG TALK HERE: VOID IS A FUCKING LIAR.

remember these:

cause:

void accuses noah of giving no reciepts but yet they dont give any that are of realness, i didn’t even have void on skype anymore but their name still pops up as the display name as it does last time i talked to them. case in point:

im not friends with sage but their skype name still comes up this way ( IN GROUP CHATS ) and on mobile you’d be able to see the skype or live usename and ims one on one ( on the COMPUTER ) will still have an icon / show their profile picture even if yall aint friends no more, but void the reciepts you have have no username and no icon. STOP SAYING THAT PEOPLE CAN’T SHOW CREDIABLE PROOF IF YOU CAN’T! you literally cannot sit there and say that noah won’t give proof when you don’t give proof for all your claims. if you shell out some credible proof then i’ll apologize but other than that, we all know YOU’RE GROSS and there’s NO PROBABLE cause to believe you cause you’ve lied in the past. PLEASE DO NOT DICTACT R*PE SURVIVORS BECAUSE YOU GOT YOUR FEFES HURT YOU SMELLY ASSHOLE.

they emotionally manipulated their friends into saying shit about us because they ACCUSED us of being pedophiles & pedophile apologists. me & dallas & hades, have called them out before hand!!! literally cause we outted them for being a gross rat, they accused us of being pedophiles & apologists & fetishizers but here we are again, more of void having the same rhetoric, being scared of being called out and pulling the SAME STUNTS: thinking that we’re not going to retaliate against them.

but nah it’s not happening against that. either way: their mom aint no acholoic, they stole that from the kids they hang around. they treat their mom like crap, they masturbate on calls and fake moan on calls cause they’re gross little shits. this shit has been recorded but unless yall want me to upload this shit, i’m not listening to it again. they’re a gross habitual liar, a fucking thief and a faker.

they pretended to be jewish, poc, poor, and otherwise just so they could have a minority card. ( x ) ( x ) ( x ).

these are all reciepts from people that they wanted to live with, who have sent them money have have purchased places with the intention of getting void into their country to live with them because void convinced them they were POOR & ABUSED. they talk about all this shit but literally as i’ve said in the first callout post, they intiate this shit -- they cry abuse when you don’t date them and they harass when you admit that you’re asexual and too old for them. proof via creepy ass tweets ( x ) ( x ) ( x )

either way, lets not forget their cute little paypal statement, which was said by that time they were still in america. they didn’t show their balance, but they showed they got 100 MORE dollars out of no where ( not from commissions mind you ) and they did nothing ( while in america ) but spend 30 dollars at a time on kinguin limited ( WHICH IS FOR STEAM KEYS AND SHIT, LMFAO WHAT AN IDIOT. ). yall they are trying to play us!!!!

aaah this is funny because the formal charges are about you sexually pressuring someone that kept telling you NO NO NO. And getting 100S OF FUCKING DOLLARS ON CLAIMS OF BEING POOR.

but okay all of this shit is basically void calling themselves out again, like i aint even got time for it. this is my piece about me. theres more shit about you but its not my place to get into it, and you better be glade PERSON A doesn’t want to be bothered with you anymore or like i said, you’d BE FINISHED. ending point: bitch 6 months ago i left you with shreds of your nasty fucking blonde wig, and your naked mole rat looking ass COME BACK with this shit, but here i am again DESTROYING YOU. if you ever try this shit again believe me i just wont be dissecting your pitiful little post but i WILL be dropping that heavy shit nontheless.

anyway if you can take the time please report the page leemtea for slander / abuse / invasion of privacy.

#dishonored 2 #dishonored #outsider #leemte #leemtea #corvo #ours.

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l-chomofsky · 5 years

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So fuck it. Let’s get depressing.

Oh, what to go on about now. What does the empty void want to hear... let’s go down the rabbit hole of self worth, shall we?

Okay. Let’s Type this out till my battery dies. Most of this. My friends don’t know a lot about how much I hate myself I think. They tuned me out awhile ago. The lot of them anyway.

Let’s tackle my biggest thing. I bullshit this a lot to people. Just to not seem so much like an fuck up. I bullshit this to my closest friends. Talking bout the Ex. Not even an ex in reality. Much closer to a friend that was just bored, she didn’t really care if I was there or if I was gone. Somehow I fell in some small amount of love with that. It 100% was one way. She did not. Care. But to me. My friends told me I was worthless almost every day. My school told me art was pointless. And at the time, my parents seemed busy, with siblings, their own things. I didn’t want to bug them with me. Just my existence as a whole. So she was a safe haven for me. I enjoyed not being told I was worthless. Just. Talking to someone. But being stupid. I assumed she liked me too. Because she gave me the time of day. When no one else... wanted to. Little did I know she didn’t want to either. Fast forward. My life started to show more to her. But Instead of telling me I wasn’t worthless, she agreed with the rest of my life. I was nothing. I felt like nothing. I wanted to be gone. ( I don’t anymore... fully anyway) but we never kissed. We never dated. We never spent the night either persons house. I don’t get to say “ I like waking up next to you” I haven’t gotten that far. I haven’t gotten that far with anyone. Of course. When you are almost 20, you hear everyone else’s baggage. So you pump up details so make it seem like you were in a serious relationship like them.( cause who wants to be friend with that guy right? No baggage. Boring. Not worth anyone’s time) when in reality. I never was. I never have been. I can’t relate to anyone’s advice, because I’m not in your situation. I’m just so closed off. That idk how to open up to someone. Being told you are pointless from everyone has its toll. I guess the toll is being a fucking outcast. Being the one who thinks they are not worth anyone’s time. I don’t want to die. This isn’t what it feels like.

I want someone to care. I WANT HER TO CARE DAMN IT!!!

I think if I was different. I would get her. But art is something I don’t want to give up. I love this. But it also makes me a loner. The outcast. I don’t want to be that. I want someone to walk out of this black void and sit next to me. Talk to. Without in the back of my head assuming they are lying. I don’t think that will happen however. So fuck it. I’ll stay the one who is away from everyone. The one sitting alone.

Fuck it. If anything. When I get up and leave where ever I am. And leave a drawing behind. It makes someone happy. God knows I wont make someone happy. Might as well make something that makes someone happy.

#fuckit

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weholyperfectioncollectorme-blog · 6 years

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S Coffeyville Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74072

"S Coffeyville Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74072

S Coffeyville Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74072

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S Coffeyville Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74072

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Does it depend on the car you buy? How much on average would you pay per year for third party insurance? Thank you

Average cost for home owner insurance ?

Cost of Cancelling multiple 6-month car insurance policies in US?

I am 18 years old, male, clean driving record, good student, going to college. I will only be going home for occasional weekends, and vacations, and I would like to be insured so I can drive my car (saturn 2000 sl) around. I don't want to pay for the high cost of permanent car insurance, but want to be insured when I need it. I looked up ways to get temporary (short term) car insurance and I basically found that if you are under 21, you cannot pay daily or weekly. I also found that US insurance companies generally offer policies that are at least 6 months. Since I want tthen you can only get 6month or 1 year policies. They suggest getting the 6 month policy and paying monthly, and then simply canceling the policy once I am done with it. Therefore if I did this, I would be buying and canceling many policies every year. I would maybe do this a few weekends every semester and also winter, spring, and summer break. So basically I want to save money by foregoing yearly car insurance, but instead would like to do what I stated above. The big question is: IS IT WORTH IT? Ordering, and then cancelling up to six to eight 6-month policies, each paying for the first monthly payment. Note: I currently have MetLife. Thanks!!""

Liable for any outstanding premium? car insurance cancellation?

Car insurance cancellation - If you cancel your insurance more than 14 days after purchasing your policy, you will, depending on when you bought your policy, be entitled to a refund of your premium subject to the scale detailed in the policy booklet. We will also charge a 45 cancellation fee plus Insurance Premium Tax at the rate applicable at that time. A refund will not be given if you have had any claims during the relevant policy period. If you are paying by instalments, you will be liable for any outstanding premium I pay for my insurance in installments of 130 a month, i want to cancel my policy 4 months in. Do i have to pay the rest of the 1,600 for the year or just the cancellation fee of 45?""

Car insurance on car i want to sell?

I am trying to sell my car because my uncle left me his old truck and I don't need two vehicles. Since I don't want to have insurance on both cars, is there a way for me to just have insurance on the car only when it is test driven by someone interested in buying it?""

How much do you think auto insurance will cost me?

I am getting a 1971 vw bus, $8500 was how much I payed, a/b student in a college prep school, all honors classes, 16 year old male, live in florida, have not recieved my license yet and am in 10th grade. How much do you think it will cost me to get insurance at the cheapest rates?""

Is Obamacare's goal to provide healthcare for everyone? or requires everyone to BUY health insurance?

What insurance rates do u all pay?

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Gettting car insurance for more than one car?

si my big brother has a BMW series 3 and got the insurance done for it through my dad i've not long passed my test and have been ask to buy a MG TF and was wondering would i still be abel to get insurance through my dad as well even though my big brother had insurance through him for his car?

Would my insurance be high?

There is a 1973 Dodge Charger online I found that needs restoration for $1750. What would I do for insurance and would it be high since I'm only 17?

""I am fully comp, and my insurance said i can drive any car i wish to? read the details below!!!!!?""

I am fully comp, and my insurance said i can drive any car i wish to, Can i really drive any car i want, EVEN IF THE OTHER CAR HAS NO ONE INSURED ON IT?""

How much would insurance be on a 2001 convertible mustang for a 16 year old?

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Can anyone suggest a really affordable health insurance program for a family. That covers alot plus maternity?

How will this speeding ticket affect my insurance?

I got a speeding ticket. The insurance is under my fathers name. Will the insurance price go up because of MY speeding ticket?

Health Insurance coverage?

I'm now covered by the employer's health insurance (with dental) plan. After I quit/leave current job, how does this health insurance coverage work? Before I'm hired by other company, what options do I have on the health insurance?""

S Coffeyville Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74072

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/wats-cheapest-car-insurance-company-young-drivers-roger-wade"

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San Geronimo California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94963

"San Geronimo California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94963

San Geronimo California Cheap car insurance quotes zip 94963

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Adding car insurance to existing insurance...?

I don't have any car insurance, and never had any, but my elder brother does. He has his own car as well. I read it somewhere that it's cheaper to add a name to an existing car insurance because first-time drivers usually have high insurance. If I were to do that, will I have to drive the same car as my brother does? Can I buy another car and add my name to existing insurance of my brother? I apologize in advance if it sounds like a stupid question. This is my first time and I don't have any experience with this. Thank you in advance.""

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somedaypast-thesunset · 6 years

Text

so hes essentially stopped having sex with me. physical affection is like.. few and far between. and i guess, thanks? i guess? like step up from my oshawa ex for sure - he fucked me until i left. so like, thanks? thanks for not just using me?

i tried to be more understanding like maybe this is just how he feels right now but these little things managed to add up and with his refusal for sex ... i mean, he’s not “refusing”. i dont really come on to him. the last time we did have sex it was pretty bad. like bad enough both of us admitted it was pretty bad. i thought maybe that had something to do with it.

but he started nitpicking and being rude about it. like leaving my shoes at the door - which he does everyday all day; but it’s not my house and i should be a perfect guest always and if i’m not, it’s disrespectful. he suggested that i gain weight - jokingly mind you, but not really. finally he told me to “put money aside” to pay for myself at meals with friends because it made him uncomfortable. then suggested that “instead of not going at all” i run a tab with him and keep track of everything he buys me.

i told him no thanks. i dont want a walking credit card. i never wanted that. that doesnt make my life any better at all. its more uncomfortable for me that the guy whos dick i suck makes me pay for all my meals. and i get it - he doesnt need to cover all of them. but holy fuck what kind of relationship is it that you cant even go out because your partner wont pay for your meal? your partner ho makes more money ad has more disposable income than a majority of our peers.

i just thought it was really careless to make a suggestion like this when i cannot afford to eat out. period. thats not a luxury i can have right now and u know what? THATS OKAY. holy fuck, of all the luxuries i dont need and am not going to die from; it’s that. i kept thinking it was like a keeping up th the joneses kind of thing. like i’m paying to go out to eat food not to eat food but to prove i can afford to go out and eat food to a group of people. i PREFER to live frugually. even hen i have OTHER PEOPLES MONEY i try to save and be frugal for them because i feel disgusted hen a large amount of money is wasted. ive had dozens of opportunities to spend his money hoever i wanted and continually chose the cheapest option. only recently did i start choosing take out options OVER 10$. like i was literally choosing anything under 10$ so i wouldnt be a burden while his meal ould be 20 -25$.

he tried to be friendly afterwards but i felt like it was a final straw. its never a discussion. its just hurling insults at me and completely disregarding the reason why i have suh little money. my entire being is dedicated to not being brought down by him ad people like him in the interim of hopefully making my life better. like if i cant get through this then i dont even have a hope of it being better and apparantly “this” is being shit on over and over and over again. i just.. i dont care anymore. he was really just annoying me at this point. im tired of being made to feel super poor. like no one else does this to me. i do manage to take care of myself a good portion of the time and most know where my money goes. im tired of having to give myself a pep talk to feel better about myself because hes made me question my value and worth.

last night i slept crammed against the wall. literally. and hes come to a point he feels this is appropriate because sleeping together is such a hassle for him and it just reminded me of my abusive ex. but then he decided to jack off beside me first thing in the mornig and i was done. like i guess im very hard headed but hey - i get it now. i’m nothing to you. i dont deserve anything. i dont deserve to wake up peacefully, a good morning - nothing. all i deserve is to ake up to some disgusting man jacking off beside me. i got dressed, gathered my stuff and left. i said nothing to anyone, i just left. cuz hat the fuck is the point? i felt like a little “guilty” that this would create anxiety for him but who the fuck even cares? i dot even want to have a conversation with him because i dont have conversations ith him i just listen to him. there is no back and forth, no discovery or discussion. its just me listening to him. so why fucking bother. he knows i wouldnt leave unless i was upset so the “point” is made but i have no point. i’m just done, i think? i think you know youre the most done when words are not useful anymore ad like there is nothing i want to discuss. i dont even ant to tell him what a shitty person hes been. all it leads to is guilt and pity and sticking around because he thinks hes supposed to. i want to be with someone who wants to be with me. but like that never happens. no oe ever wants to be with me. they want to be ith some other perso but i’m good enough. and it sounds very woe is me but this is the truth. ad i am an attractive nice person. i am very caring and loving and loyal. i am a great girlfriend. but no one ever wants to actually be with me. theyve always wanted someone else, someone else is always actually “the one” ad theyve either gotten away or they never got a chance and now they’re just stuck with _me_. my first “love” was already in love ith someone else but it as never going to happen (and hen he thought it as going to it didnt and he still came back to me and that is not even a bonus thats just proving my point). my second, still enamored with his ex he never fully proved cheated on him but he thought she did (but u know maybe she didnt). and all the men in between - they wanted someone else. they predictably ended up with a few of the someone elses. and right now is just repeating this scenario.

and you know, i come across these dudes and they tell ME they love ME. i would never dare utter such words to these people and give myself like that unless it was very important for me to do. like if i as a year into it and no one said shit and i felt strongly about it, then maybe i would but i dont even offer this to close friends. love is the most serious.

but they tell me they love me. and all i want is love. i dont even want necessarily to BE LOVED but i would like love to exist in my life in a very pure and geuie ay that ive witnessed with others. its not like i need love and attention from all these people. i dont need love to be validated as a person. i can be without love temporarily and move forward in life. i have less sources of love than many people ad im not actively seekig it from dozens of people. but if someone asks me what do you want? perhaps i want money and security. this ould be high on the list. but i think most of all i want love. i want to experience love. my parents did not love me. or maybe my father did but i dot think he was wholy capable of giving pure love. these are perhaps the people who should be my pillars ad theyre not ad everyoe else got to experience love - not eve sexual love. its not eve sexual. its not romantic. everyone aroud me has bee able to experience pure true love of some form and i feel like i have not. like theres nevere been a single stable source of love for any length of time in my life.

and society is tryig to fill this void with medication and money and everything else but actual love an like i guess its hard not to believe that im undeserving or incapable of feeling love or receiving love. and i think this is like a top 5 survival need. like food, water, shelter, love. maybe this is the intricate part of the human experience and we so easily cover food and water and shelter now for many people but you canot cover love. you cannot package it into a goverment subsidy and yet so may people suffering have lacked love. and this pushes them to drugs and alcohol and they suffer from depression and obesity and they eat themselves to diabetes and they let their feet rot off their legs because no matter how hard they worked, no matter all the good deeds they did; they never fully received their dues in love. they suffered ad struggled alone an family ad frieds and relatioships left them but hey - they made some money. and thank god they didt just “live on welfare”. but its like - if someone did not have food or water or shelter, you ouldnt immediately offer them a job to solve the problem. there is a immediate need that has to be filled before they can help themselves. you have to give them food so they can work. if no one cares, why the fuck should they? like you’re noteve a person you’re just “the homeless” now. and like everythng of your life is referred to as “the homeless” life now.

im surrounded by people who have been given a lot of love in their life. even though theyve become blinded to their priviledges, theyve been given so much love. they are spoiled. they cant eve see the love thats being given. i argued with a mutual fried about another; she said it was rude to say this fried ould always be there heever she needed it and not show up. i told her isnt it enough to know in your soul this person wants that so badly for you but real life dictates differetly? like the love is there. the intention is there but real life doest allow it. she couldnt see the love.

and i guess maybe some of these people are so spoiled that they dot understad the importance of something that is like breathing air to them. they probably believe i can get love elsewhere, just like they do. they are rich in love. but its the same thing - if someone tells me they love me, i actually believe they love me. well, i want to believe.

i also believe this problem is “easily” solved for women by having children. children are a constant source of love and hen they turn out not to be, it’s ground shaking. mothers dont kno how to go on. but i believe, even in solid relationships, that children come from a desire to give and receive love that is not currently in their life. maybe i dont understand a maternal instinct. perhaps maternal instinct is this. maybe its kicked in and im too logical to understand that its not that “easy”. neither are relationships, and at least your kids legally arent allowed to abandon you. but i think this is why, especially with young mothers, theyre inclined (if single) to sort of “lose focus” on their children when a new man enters. suddenly, especially ina “honey moon phase”, theyre receiving a ton of love. more love and attention than their children, of any age, can probably give them.

i have little expectations with love. i mean, i assume if you “love me” you wont be cruel or malicious. like, you wont try to harm me. thats what i expect. i dont even expect NOT to be harmed. i may be harmed. thats involved in love. you cant feel such strong things for someone and not be harmed somewhere down the line. it could be big or small; someone will eventually feel bad but then it’ll probably be okay again. however someone gives love, i try to receive it as is without shaping it to what i believe is right. love is abstract; you accept it as is but we all want to read into it and find the deeper meaning and stories and little things involved but in the end its just a very abstract concept hich encompasses a wide range of emotions and psychological things. you cant really say, “if you loved me you would do this or this”. its like you are the artist and love is your paint and the world is a canvas. you cant tell picasso how to paint. that only fits your mold. we liked picasso because of how he expressed it, how he painted it - not how you shaped his painting to your liking.

and like youre allowed to not like someones painting - someones expression of love. and some people, they suck. like they just outright suck ass they need to go back to basics and start over before they unleash anymore of their “artistry”. and some people are offensive. some people create offensive things and this thing might hurt people or make people uncomfortable. most people ask to have their “art” - their “expression of love” taken seriously. however good or bad it is, it’s theirs and this is how they see it. but its like, i dont have to buy a jackson pollock and hang it on my wall because i respect his expression. i dont have to have sex with a woman because i respect homosexuality. so you can accept, respect and walk away from someones expression. it doesnt have to be for you. you can even have the freedom to speak about your feelings of this expression for yourself but you cant dictate how someone else should feel.

i guess my situation is many of these men bought a picasso - or tried to, and for whatever reason, it’s not aroud anymore so they’ll accept a pollock in its place because i mean, he’s still “pretty good”.

but you know - at the same time, it’s okay. this isnt a unique situation. this is very much part of the human experience. everyone at some point will feel this way to some degree. i just happen to feel it really strongly right now because of my circumstances in life. its like taking shrooms and one perso is cool ad another trips badly; theyre just not in the right place in the right way to experience this thing of life. thats me right now. i wasnt prepared for this trip ad its pretty never ending. its like a really long road trip in fear ad loathing but its like 10 years of sitting ith johny depp and youve foud out he beats his ife and is a severe alcoholic and its just... overwhelming.

so i dont know. i need to really accept and take this knowledge seriously. im proud that i just left because ive stayed too many times. i thought about it an had my guilt and ould stay for my shitty ride home and get my “daily kiss” and its just like.. i no longer hate myself this much. i can do better than this scenario. its not even a personal insult to him - his personality is cool. as a human, great. but the scenario we have created - WE, okay. not him. this is a joint effort where i allowed someone to treat me like this with full knowledge that it was bullshit. no one held me hostage and it wast like i just became a personal slave to him. but its like, i even explained it with drugs. once you allow yourself to normalize gross things, its not hard to become a junkie. like if you decide smoking crack or injecting drugs is the worst shit but suddenly you’ll smoke meth and you’ll inject a “safe” drug like k but “not heroin”. this is the “gateway effect”. so we normalized this really shitty behavior ad made it easy for him to fall into habits of doing things others would (and have) walked away from.

you know, i hate that he makes future plans and none of them involve me. ever. but he tells me he loves me. and its like, i dont even have anxiety about whether or not ill see him today. i kind of hope i dont. i think itll be easy to assume im upset he “wont buy me food anymore”. but i really just.. we are on two different planets. equally confused by each others wants and needs. i dont eve want a conversation because if someone doesnt have the desire to be affectionate with me why bother asking.

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