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dirtyrottenraskel · 3 years

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my take on yueki's personalities

yue

notes / personality

cocky (but also like understated confidence - r e g a l af)

kind of a nerd

maybe a little entitled, and a little bratty and suki loves to indulge her or to rile her up depending on her mood

books

seems soft but made of steel

strong sense of duty

socially intelligent - can be manipulative and suki (the dork) thinks it is so hot

aloof queen bee typa beat

supportive, both in ur day to day and in going after your big moral life goals

deep water - steady and powerful, often underestimated

untold depths, private yet surprisingly nurturing - master of deflecting away from herself

political nerd - well read, and when she has someone she trusts not to take advantage of her, she goes OFF

distrusting of most people, has been used and ignored and underestimated her whole life

patient - homegirl knows how to play the long game

excellent at pai sho / chess

she and suki have epic battles of wits - dif types of strategy but both are really into it and get a little too competitive (multiple board games have had to be replaced over the years)

loves travel bc wasn’t allowed to much, esp when she was sick

was super repressed growing up - never let her be herself or really have any sort of independence

used to sneak out and wander around in rebellion and casually sabotage plans and decisions she didn’t agree with

introverted, many opinions but keeps them to herself, discreet but well spoken

weaponizes secrets and information - doesn’t often use it but...she could

definitlyyyyy worries and overthinks and re-evaluates - worries ab social politics a lot

obsessive about picking things - wants it to be perfect

shes growing into her confidence as a leader

prefers quite intimate places

incredibly romantic

classic lit

planner for the future - visionary

kind / sweet / gentle - yes, but that’s also her “front” to a degree (seriously, i feel like she gets painted as so sweet and submissive and one dimensional by the fandom a lot of times and it freakin kills me)

INFJ-T (The Advocate) ((yes this is from 16p which i know is not super accurate but u can still catch her overall vibes from it ya know)

Creative/insightful/principled/compassionate/altruistic

sensitive/reluctant to open up/perfectionist/prone to burnout/not a fan of the ordinary

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - puppy love crushes, laugh ab it now, get into deep late night talks about responsibilities and leading, water tribe culture, prank wars (no one believes sokka when he says yue is a mean prank master (expect suki comes to see it in action lol))

katara - <> badass women friendship, totally would go to matches and protests together, tough girl shit, waterbending practice/duels - start of cautious, but then get rough in a good way bc they trust each other, they do water tribe food adventures together

toph - indulges her chaos, bonding over stupid royal upbringings, odd yet weirdly endearing pair

zuko - both sort of standoffish gay royals, but once they come to see that they are friends - take up similar spaces though, so only hang out in a group or rarely by themselves, they do hang out at like political parties and stuff when they get more comfortable together

aang - <> he has an impressive world view, yue is super studied and well read, so she and aang nerd out over past cultures together, and also their peace keeping nature, they have tea together often - usually after she and katara wipe the floor w/ each other

clothing / aesthetic:

blues and pale colors

classy and understated wealth

like those cute feminine button down shirts

dresses

like cold weather classy

complicated braids

sort of soft girl aesthetic?

pleated skirts !!!

i feel like she would wear ethically sourced fur (i don’t wear fur but idk how to get it in an ethical way - maybe it’s just fake??)

knit sweaters and skinny jeans and heeled ankle boots

light academia !!!

hella funky earrings - to mark her native pride and also cuz gay

from my readings, tattoos have a lot of cultural significance for Inuit women, and so i feel like yue would totally have some (when she comes of age ofc)

suki

notes / personality

extroverted

also very strategic

more spontaneous tho - will totally calculate the odds in a spilt second in her head and then just go for it

like still a careful planner, but willing to say fuck it, yolo if it seems right

reflects on her mistakes, but more in like a healthy way - unless it was a leadership mistake, then it eats her up inside - worries more ab keeping her girls safe and making the right call

likes lively places

total bashful romantic

manages the present and the short term - realist

loves to do lists

a little punch happy - loves to make violent threats, but also does it out of excitement and she’s just a really physical person tbh

steady, can come off as stubborn and abrasive but she really just wants what’s best for everyone she loves

harsh on herself and worries about her girls a lot

always ends up in the oddest situations

totally would kick someone’s ass for being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc

dedicated to her training and her regime

not a great cook, but she can manage

would drink monsters

has a weird relationship with femininity - took her awhile to reconcile strength and toughness and being assertive and aggressive with also wanting to feel pretty and feminine and embracing being a girl and how those things can coincide and amplify each other

abandonment issues - parents absent/dead

was imprisoned - obvi she had several almost successful escape attempts, but she got really close to breaking

was incredibly independent really early, grew up really fast and tries to make up for that now by sometimes being reckless

tough/assertive/woman of action

dry sense of humor/sarcastic - not good at nickname/pun humor tho

practical/dedicated/strong-willed/direct/honest/reliable/loyal/patient

stubborn/judgmental/difficult to relax/difficulty expressing emotions/too selfless

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - <> man they’re like platonic soulmates - she beat him up, and now they spar all the time, totally funny and crack jokes all the time, go skating together, they do shitty art together, and then show their lovers after zuko and yue come back from their high society mixers, broke her out of prison, m/f friendship !!!

katara - also sparring buddies (suki will throw down at any literally moment (and tbh so will katara)), not close but will hang in a group - go to each other for advice

toph - <> listen these two wreak havoc together, they help each other out a lot, i feel like they’re shopping buddies (similar enough style to frequent the same shops) toph knows suki won’t judge her for wanting to feel pretty and suki knows toph will be honest, they are both blunt sarcastic assholes and get along like a house on fire

zuko - <> shows zuko how to like,,,enjoy things (and how to let go of some of that pressure to be always right and the adult and in charge bc they were raised with so much responsibility on their shoulders even tho they were just kids)? she is also super protective of him (once she trusts him), one of the only ppl who can match suki fully in hand to hand combat, both do the Disappointed Parent Look when the group falls into chaos, but by themselves, the two of them end up in hijinks

aang- suki enjoys his optimism and they’re just chill bros, they love exploring abandoned placed together

clothing / aesthetic

sporty and skater mixed

ripped jeans, crewnecks, vans

green and yellow and dark red

gym clothes/athleisure - lifting style gym clothes - cut off t-shirts and bike shorts

skirts too, likes to play into femininity

she’s a gold jewelry kinda girl - but stuff that won’t hinder her movements

necklaces that end in the hollow of her throat & occasionally rings

definitely cuffs all of her jeans (it’s just bisexual culture ya know)

so many crop tops - some came like that, some were more of a diy project

yueki’s relationship!!!

nerd/jock solidarity

feel the burden of responsibility and the weight on their shoulders

they create a safe space between them, full of trust and warmth and vulnerability

yue will read suki sappy passages from poetry books while suki polishes her fans

they slow dance in the kitchen a lot

they get good at ordering takeout - and they have some weird decision making process that only they understand - bc neither of them are great cooks

yue would feel jealous of suki and sokka, if it weren’t for how stupid in love sokka was with zuko and yue can see that suki really only has eyes for her

yue is taller than suki and it amuses her to no end to pick suki up and carry her away from a fight (we all know suki could get away if she wanted to, but when ur hot tall sexy gf throws u over her shoulder,,,,,,u don’t complain)

joke they’ve adopted kataang and zukka, bc they’re all dummies, but in reality every last one of them is stupid LMAO

they love to do each other’s hair and it’s like super intimate and really cute

sometimes it’s these epic elaborate hairstyles and then at other times, they try to see how many ponytails they can fit on suki’s head and how many little braid yue can do

they travel EVERYWHERE

since yue is royalty and suki is her body guard,,,, well i mean, they totally have to see these kingdoms they are doing trade deals with in person

it helps that they're friends with a lot of them

they stay over in everything from camping so they can stargaze to ritzy hotels with hot tubs in the bathroom

yue gives suki rocks she finds on all their travels and suki lines them up on their mantle around the pictures of them in increasingly weird locations

suki loves guarding yue’s meetings bc she gets to watch her absolutely rip a new one into misogynistic old men and it never fails to bring her joy

While yue doesn’t love getting attacked, the ruthless efficiency suki defends her with is like,,,,,stupid attractive

#wow this got long #this is a mix of modern au and canon verse headcanons #but yeah #let these girls have more dimension than just soft uwu gfs #esp yue #yueki #headcanon #atla #yue #suki #yue x suki #wlw #zukka #kataang #sapphic

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marveloussupernerd · 4 years

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Ice Cream - Vanderwood

Uhm so... this idea started w this being abo seven. Then about Unknown. And then about Vandy. Just to clarify, I know lots of different pronouns are thrown around for Vanderwood, but I’m playing the safe route and going by he/him because that’s what the creators said 😀 no judgement if you hc otherwise though! Sorry this is probably gonna be OOC bc I have not played another story so my interactions w him have been slim to none

Summary: You were just kind of... depressed today. With the hacker at large, Seven and Mary Vanderwood III have been tasked with watching you through security cameras. Kinda rough when you won’t leave your room and there aren’t cameras in there. Vanderwood tries to cheer you up

PSA: this lowkey deals w mental health but not explicitly ? Inspired by me bc I get depressed~ esp when I am PMSing (which I am doing now) and genuinely can’t get out of bed and do things (ppl are iffy on mental health so just to say I have been diagnosed and was given birth control to help... which honestly has helped a lil). So I thought this would maybe help me and hopefully some of you, Jesus Christ I’ve prob lost so many of you w all these announcements

You just... couldn’t get out of bed. You had been stuck inside for a few days now, watched over by Seven and Mary Vanderwood III via security cams. But not getting to go outside and have human interaction kinda sucked. And then all your work was stressful too. You just didn’t want to move. And so you didn’t.

You got dressed though. That was a good start. Granted it was in something that could also be considered pajamas, but it felt nice to change your clothes. Felt productive. You went back into bed.

How long had you spent in bed, scrolling mindlessly through social media and watching stupid YouTube videos? You looked at the time; it was 1 pm. You were lucky you had today off, but had hoped to be more productive today. Oh well.

Your video was interrupted. A call from Seven. It was probably important.

“Hey Seven!” You picked up, bringing your voice to its typical cheery state. “What’s up?”

“Are you okay?” The voice on the other line asked. You jumped; it was deep, much deeper than Seven’s, and very serious.

“Are you using a voice modifier?” You giggled. It felt nice to talk to someone.

“Huh? Oh, no. This isn’t Seven.”

You paused for a minute, raising an eyebrow. Your voice caught in the back of your throat. “Are you... the hacker?”

“No!” The voice sounded urgent.

“Tom? Seven’s childhood friend?”

“I’m not fully convinced he exists.” The voice replied, an edge to the voice making it sound like a joke.

“Honestly? Me neither.” You paused, trying to think of who it could be. “I fold. Who are you? And how’d you get Seven’s phone!?”

“Giving up that easily?” The voice was teasing you now. “I thought you’d do more than two guesses.” You huffed out a sigh, making sure your annoyance was heard. “Come on, who would have access to Seven’s phone?”

That literally made no sense though. “...Mary Vanderwood the III?”

“Is he calling me that to you too now?” The voice asked, clearly annoyed. “My name is not Mary Vanderwood the III, and I’m not Seven’s maid. I just go by Vanderwood.”

“Hi Vanderwood,” you greeted. “You’re... a dude?”

“Yes.” He sounded annoyed still. “I don’t know why he’s said all this stuff.”

You giggled. “Well, back to the beginning of the conversation. Why’d you ask if I was okay? Is anything suspicious happening?”

“You just... you haven’t left your bedroom yet.”

“Oh” was all you could say.

“Oh? Are you okay?”

“Yeah of course!” You figured you might as well explain yourself. “It’s just, uhm, I haven’t really wanted to get out of bed and be productive. Sort of a mental block.”

“Oh,” his voice was much more understanding now. “That sucks.”

“Yeah... I think it’s because I haven’t interacted with people in a while. Just kinda holed up in the apartment. Hard to stay motivated.” Why were you telling him all this? He just wanted to know if you were okay. He wasn’t your therapist. “Oops! Uhm, sorry. Didn’t mean to unload that all.”

“You’re okay. I’m... sorry to hear that.”

“I’ve dealt with it before so like... it’s fine. It’ll pass. There are way more pressing matters right now,” you brushed it off, shrugging even though you knew he couldn’t see you.

“Do you-“ he coughed. “Do you like ice cream?”

“Yes?” What a change of topic. “Who doesn’t?”

“Well, if you want something to do, do you wanna get ice cream? If you’re feeling up for it.” He sounded almost awkward. It was kind of sweet.

But still, more pressing issues at hand. “I don’t know if I should with the hacker and everything. Everyone has security but me and so I-“

“I work with Seven. I think I can protect you.”

“Think?” You teased.

“You know that’s not how I meant it. I know I could protect you if need be. If you don’t want to though that’s okay.”

“No!” You shouted. You covered your mouth immediately, embarrassed from your outburst. “No. I think that’d be really nice.”

“I can pick you up outside the apartment in like ten minutes? You don’t have to worry about getting dressed up nice or anything...”

This was all so sudden. “Oh, I guess you do know the address, huh.” You were more saying it to yourself than him. “Wait! What do you look like? So that I don’t get picked up by the hacker or anything.”

“Uh...” he seemed so confident, but very uncomfortable describing himself. “I’ve got brown hair. Kinda long? It goes down to my shoulders. You know what? The lining of my jacket is leopard print. That should help.”

You were silent. Leopard print?

“Don’t make fun of it.” You could hear the scowl in his voice. “Ten minutes. See you then.” He hung up before you could say goodbye.

He did say not to look nice. Which made sense, in retrospect, because he had seen you for the past few days lounging at home. There was no need to try to impress; he already knew how you looked on the norm.

So you grabbed a jacket, your phone, and your wallet (with pepper spray attached to it for good measure), and headed out.

You kind of felt like a hooker, standing out at the curb waiting for a car to drive up and get you. But, you pushed those thoughts out of your mind. You were getting real human interaction today thanks to Vanderwood.

He pulled up in a very standard car, definitely not one of Seven’s babes. He rolled down the window and called your name.

“Wait! Show me the lining of your jacket!” You requested. It felt ridiculous but it was important. You laughed nonetheless, as did he. He pulled the jacket up, showing the intricate pattern. You grinned and got in the car.

“Hi. Nice to meet you in person,” you started, looking over at him. He kept the window down as he drove, the sound from the car loud and the wind blowing through his hair.

“You too,” he shouted, trying to talk over the wind. “Nice day out, huh?”

You leaned your head slightly out the window, the cool breeze a nice offset to the warmth of the sun beating down on you. “Mhm,” you hummed.

Luckily the ice cream shop was only a few minutes away. Good thing too; you weren’t sure what to talk about. You benefited from the fact that most of your words were carried away with the wind; the conversation starters had sucked anyway. You just focused on his surprisingly good driving and the feeling of the sun.

He got out of the car and you quickly followed. He didn’t wait for you, just kept walking to the order window. You scrambled to catch up. “So what’s your favorite?” He asked, sensing you by his side without even having to look.

“Oh, uhm, I’ll have cookie dough. Always a solid choice. How about you?”

He turned to you, a smile on his face that contrasted frankly with the harsh lines of his features. “Dark chocolate raspberry.”

“I can’t tell if I’m surprised or if I expected that.” You let out a little ‘hm’ and shrugged your shoulders. He went up and ordered for the both of you.

“Oh, uh,” you reached into your wallet, but he brushed you off.

“Relax. I can pay for a $3 ice cream cone.”

Your eyes widened. You hadn’t realized that may insult him. “Oh! Uh, that’s not what I meant to insinuate. I’m sorry.”

He glanced over with that smile of his, brown eyes lighting up. Why did it make your heart flutter? You had literally just met the guy. You were such a goddamn simp.

He grabbed the ice creams and handed you yours, his gloved fingers brushing against your bare ones. It wasn’t even skin-to-skin contact! Why did you feel this way from something so small? You wanted to die right then and there. He suggested you eat in the car to maintain a low profile and you nodded, not trusting your own voice.

Were you supposed to talk? Or eat your ice cream? Or both? Your mind chose for you, as words stumbled out of your lips before you could even stop them. “So is Vanderwood your real name?” Idiot. Of course it isn’t!

“God no.” He sounded hard about it. It was hard to take him seriously while he was licking an ice cream cone like that. You tried to hide your laughter. “No, don’t laugh.” His voice wasn’t hard this time. He was almost begging you to go easy on him.

“No I’m sorry! I wasn’t laughing at your name. It’s just... it’s kind of funny when you sound all mad and annoyed but you look so cute eating your ice cream.” No!!!!! Did you just call him cute? This was going AWFUL. You should have stayed home.

“Well, you can make fun of my name. I obviously didn’t pick it. It’s stupid.” Maybe he hadn’t heard the last part of what you said, considering he didn’t bring it up? But why was he blushing?

“It’s not that bad. You could be named Mary Vanderwood the III,” you teased. He rolled his eyes. “Can I give you a nickname? Maybe make it less insufferable?”

“What, you think we’re going to be talking all the time now?” He had a point. Why did you... do any of this? It was so embarrassing. You stared at your ice cream, praying you didn’t blush or shake your leg or do anything to show how much you felt like an idiot. He nudged you, causing you to glance up at him, and he smiled. “I’d love a nickname.”

“Wood.”

“Ha ha,” he laughed sarcastically.

“V! Oh wait... we can’t do that.” Poor V. You had almost regifted his name. “Vandy!”

“Vandy?” He questioned, trying out the name. “I’m not seeing it.”

“I am. Vandy. That’s the one”

“It’s too...cute.” His cheeks flushed red again. He pushed some of his hair out of his eyes. “I’m not letting you call me that.”

“You don’t get to pick your own nickname,” you stuck your tongue out at him. “I think it’s very fitting. It’s cute, you’re cute...” why were you doing this to yourself? You must have hated yourself.

“You’ve said that twice now. That I’m cute,” he mentioned causally, biting down on his cone, the rest of the ice cream gone.

“Oh! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it as an insult.”

“Oh, it’s fine. It’s probably just my toxic masculinity.” It sounded like a joke but he also sounded serious? There were so many mysteries surrounding him.

“Well, if it helps. I think you’re quite handsome too. But that’s a lot of syllables to get my point across.” You were a bit more confident this time. If he was genuinely worried about his image, why wouldn’t you help reassure him.

“Uh, thanks.” He pushed back his hair, pausing midway. “I’m sorry, I’m really bad with gratitude. I genuinely appreciate it, especially coming from you.”

“Well it’s not like I’m lying,” you shrugged. You had finished your ice cream. “Uhm... maybe we should get back. Who knows what Seven’s been up to since you’ve been gone.”

“Oh, yes. Of course.”

The drive back was just as silent as the drive there, the both of you enjoying the sun and the wind again. He turned on the radio this time. It played 80s hits.

He parked in front of the building. “I hope that helped you feel a little better. I mean, I had fun,” he explained. You could tell he was forcing the words out, forcing himself to express some emotion.

“It helped a lot. For real. Thank you Vandy.” You touched his arm gently.

“Can I have your number?” He asked, a small smirk forming at the corner of his lips. “So that I don’t have to call you through Seven’s phone again,” he justified.

You smiled, nodding, wordlessly taking the phone from his hands and putting your number in. Why were your hands shaking? Was he genuinely interested in you? Or was he just a nice guy?

You handed the phone back. “Thank you again.” You smiled, opening the car door.

“Wait!” He exclaimed. You turned back towards him, leaving the car door open. “Can I... kiss you?”

You shut the car door again, nodding eagerly. He pressed himself against the center console to reach you, using one hand to balance himself and the other to brush the hair out of your eyes, cupping your cheek as he closed the distance between the two of you. Your eyes fluttered shut, focused on just how warm and soft his lips were. It was... really pleasant. He didn’t maintain the kiss for long, although you seemed to have lost your concept of time.

He pulled away, hand still on your cheek, smiling that smile again. “Thank you. I hope I made your day a little better. You certainly improved mine.”

Your fingers grazed his own, intertwining with his for a moment as you opened the car door with the other hand. “You did. I’ll look forward to seeing you again maybe?”

“For sure,” he was more flustered now. “Ah, I should probably make sure Seven hasn’t burned down the house. Have a good night.” He regained his composure, winking at you as you exited the car, and driving off, wind still blowing in his hair.

Vandy stans don’t drag me maybe he was OOC but also I wanna think he’s a little less confident in a romantic situation ? Idk. I hope you all liked it tho tyy

#mystic messenger #mysme #Vanderwood

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roguestarsailor · 3 years

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So I really do not like is Elain in ACOTAR and I want to explore why I feel this way. This is going to be a critique of Elain and a critique of SJM too.

So I think about this tweet whenever I feel passionately about a character; many of the characters I love or hate clearly have these things outlined.

Elain is positioned as a central character who is vital to be part of the main protagonist group but she doesn’t have any supporting characteristics that make her valuable or interesting as a character. If you parallel her story to literally any other main characters, they all have grit, flaws and passion whereas Elain doesn’t. The story really doesn't change when you take Elain out of the equation. Her only relevance happens in ACOWAR and she weaves in and out. She’s so absent most of the time, and she’s barely thought about more than precious and gentle and likeable. that doesn’t make the character interesting.

Elain is the type of character that other characters react to. Sometimes I think she should have died in the cauldron because she was the type of character that would motivate people to action. She functions best as a symbol of purity and good that everyone will throw themselves for or go to the end of the earth for. Even from Freye’s point of view, she would do anything to defend her sisters and most of all her gentle and caring Elaine. Even the description of Elain being shoved into the cauldron with Freye and Nesta pleading and struggling to save Elain was intense! if Elain had died, this would have made the reason to go to war significantly more impactful, more heated and more personal. We would get to see so much action from Freye and Nesta; we could have watch these characters flex their strengths and grow into more powerful women (another critique is that Amren and Mor are supposedly top tier individuals but we don’t see what they're actual function is within the night court. we see Cassian and Azriel doing their thing and hold meetings w Rhys but not those two?? they just hang out in Valaris). We would even see politics change in Prythian! We got a glimpse of what they did at the High Lords Meeting and then we saw them speak united after the war in the human realm in ACOWAR. Imagine the possibilities! So many directions this could go.

This story isn’t suppose to be lovely. It’s not suppose to be a happy ending (although a bit cheesy but good amount). Every character has a dark past, and have to overcome their traumas. Every character had to make choices they don’t like and have suffered in the most intense way possible. UTM scenes in the ACOTAR was actually hard for me to read the first time around because I wasn’t aware of how dark it was going to be. But we saw the impact on Freye and watching her overcome that which was the main reason why i kept reading (ACOMAF is by far the best book in the series for its healing arc).

So letting all these characters thrive despite all of it is interesting and the reason why I keep thinking about and reading and rereading these books! This is where SJM failed Elain’s character. She doesn’t have conflict. Her conflicts are surface level at best i.e. marriage to gregory (or whatever), society life and nothing in her character says she will fight for what she loves. Nobody dislikes Elain, Elain doesn’t dislike anybody (except maybe Luciein). What motivates her? We see her fit in so well the the IC on Solstice, she thrives in Valaris, she’s even made friends out of Cerridwen and Nuala. She enjoys gardening and she enjoys caring for others, shopping for others, etc. She seems to have her life relatively together compared to literally everyone else.

What did give me pause and peaked my interest in Elain was when she asked Amren why she chose the female body form (ACOFAS, pg 109). When I read that scene, I thought she was asking about changing gender like being trans fae which would really be taking her character in a whole new direction, potentially sexuality exploration too?? But turns out she asked because she wanted to know the possibility of changing into a human again. I know ACOFAS showed her mourning her father and being sad and quiet all the time which is normal and fine. But conversations with her (at least with Freye’s POV) shows she’s still stuck on being human or living a human life again which makes her character stagnate and hard to tell a story that would be interesting. At least Nesta has moved on to more than just mourning her human life and see her clearly struggling through it all.

Elain seems to only be valuable as a symbol more than anything. She isn’t essential to the story, not saying she didn’t play a good role in the war effort but by in large, her story arc was bland. Take her out and the story would have to find a new route but nothing will be amiss. Her worth as a character is based on the hope that she does more, the love people have for these type of character and a symbol for “good” in the world which isn’t compelling enough and doesn’t make her character interesting. The only interesting part about Elain is that people can project their Elriel or Elucien ships onto or people just like because she’s unproblematic and agreeable.

But I want to end with hope with what direction Elain’s character could take. I can’t think about a situation where Elain would leave the comforts of Valaris on her own, so it would have to be with someone. I don’t see her character growing with Azriel. Azriel is chained to Night Court and to Rhys (and if we want to see him grow he needs to take a different direction away from Night Court and maybe not someone who comforts him all the time??). Although I do see her story growing with Lucien. Lucien has no residence and for now he’s fitting well with the Band of Exiles who are in the human realm and maybe they go on an adventure there and Lucien introduces her to the new human realm or she introduces Lucien to her human life or something (I don’t really care about the mate stuff since rhys said ppl can reject the mate so??? its not anything important?? not enough info for me to care about tbh). To be fair, I have been reading elucien like this and I can see how Elain and Lucien compliments each other but that doesn’t make Elain’s character any interesting on her own which is sad. I hope Elain becomes more than what she has been. I hope she starts fighting for the things she loves (it doesn’t have to be physically), I hope she isn’t so passive and I hope she finds her way of bringing fire into herself. Every character has that grit and passion, I demand she has the same or what is the fucken point??

#amandathoughts #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #freye archeron #elucien #elriel #anti elain #a bit #sarah j maas #sjm #a court of frost and starlight #elain can exist as a background character #and it would be fine #acotar critique #acotar discourse #amandabookthoughts

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dastardlydandelion · 3 years

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Max Mayfield and Tory Nichols in a horror film, what would be the plot/monster and would they survive?

this is it. this is the tumblr ask. the ask i've been waiting for my whole life. my time to shine, here we go!

filming begins under the cut:

tried and true creature feature, this is a werewolf movie. let's go with a werewolf between the van helsing (2004) and trick r treat (2007) variety. the beast once transformed is fucking huge, clearly both lupine and human, head almost entirely wolf, body primarily bipedal in shape, but robust, sinew shredding claws and big ass bone tearing teeth. also tails!! bc tails are cute!!! powers include monstrous strength, accelerated speed, healing factor. weaknesses silver and decapitation.

okay, so van helsing (2004) werewolves are mindless rage monsters and trick r treat (2007) werewolves are cognizant. for our max & tory creature feature, they're gonna of the in between variety. i chose a werewolf movie for these two specifically bc they both have their anger problems and the werewolf has long been a symbol of anger unleashed in the horror genre, even tho common gray wolves are just like. i mean, yk, animals, they hunt and howl and pee on trees and most of the time would rather avoid humans. but obvi horror genre werewolves are not common gray wolves, they need to be scary, and like, the remnants of traditional folklore influenced by rabies and discourse in the middle ages...wait, where was i going with this? anger, yes, max and tory both have anger problems and i think this works for what i'm gonna do with this theoretical movie.

who's the werewolf in town? terry fucking silver. bc terry is evil and dramatic and also, i think it's rly funny for a werewolf to have silver as a surname. he's fully cognizant in his transformation and he's purposefully biting kids and teenagers bc he wants more talented karate students. and like. yk, with the enhanced strength, speed, and regenerative recovery of lycanthropy, well. there u have it, more talented karate students.

do max and tory know each other, if so, how? okay, so in this 'verse tory is a lil older than max. that reflects their canon ages, i think. let's say max is 13 and tory is 16. billy has tory in some of his classes and he more or less makes a deal to spilt his allowance with her if she'll babysit max bc he's tired of neil riding his ass to babysit max. tory needs money so she's like, 'sure, why not.' max finds it rly stupid that she's 13 and neil thinks she needs a fucking babysitter but as far as babysitters go, tory is fun. she likes to show max what she's learning in cobra kai and they spar together a lot. max would actually like to join cobra kai but 1) neil would throw a fit on various fronts and 2) lucas is in miyagi-do. max knows there's some rly intense beef between cobra kai and miyagi-do. ofc tory's filled her in on the karate war, how could she not?

well one day tory takes max to the playground to watch a plane fly like she does with miggy in ck, and it's nighttime, ofc, and lo, the full moon is out. shining up in the sky. they hear a howl. they both look at each other. max is kinda curious but tory's like nah, nah, we gotta go. she grabs her, starts pulling her along. but the next howl is a lot closer and they can hear smth running and it just sounds fuckin big. they're running too now, legs pumping hard, but there's no escape once the beast is right behind them, hot, rancid breath blasting the backs of their necks and harvest gold eyes glowing in the dark.

max gets bitten first. tory tries to kick the big ass beast off of her and then it rounds and bites her too. the terror is real now. and then shockingly, as fast as it'd come, it leaves. neither girl has an explanation for wtaf just happened but tory takes max home. billy gripes at her for being out late but helps her patch up. when susan learns what happens she decides to take max to get rabies shots right away. loads her up in the car, runs her off to the emergency room-- but when the bandages come off, they are no wounds.

tory's bby bro tries to help patch her up too. but he's like 4 yrs old and his idea of "help" is sticking bandaids with cartoon characters up and down the wounds in haphazard fashion. tory plans to redo it all properly once she's put him to bed. sure enough after he's asleep, and she peels the bandaids off from every open mouthed pac-man to every green teenage mutant ninja turtle, the wounds are gone.

meanwhile there's missing ppl err day on the news. terry turns kids and teens but kills adults for the lulz.

tory and max know what happened to them was an event that tangibly, definitely happened but neither have any explanation for their wounds just disappearing. max, our resident horror fan, is the first to propose a real life werewolf as an explanation. she cites the missing ppl on the news. tory thinks she's tripping balls but reluctantly gives an inch when she acknowledges no, she can't think of any other explanation.

life goes on. max tells lucas what happened only she leaves out the part abt tory bc she's not gonna tell a miyagi-do student she's kickin it w the enemy. he doesn't rly believe her, like how she didn't rly believe him about the upside-down in their canon. he thinks the horror movies are rotting her brain.

tory almost tells her dojo but she gets distracted being pissed off by sam and that should be her priority, right? sensei kreese is always going on abt getting back at the enemy. she spends her shifts daydreaming abt revenge bc it's more comforting than worrying abt past due bills and her mother looking paler by the day.

full moon next month comes around. neither tory nor max are cognizant of or during their first respective transformations. max's first kill is neil. she's seven feet of fur and fury, tears his ribcage open with claws like daggers and sinks her teeth into his putrid, maggoty heart. susan isn't home. billy is, but he doesn't hear any of the fracas. he's unconscious on the living room floor, crisscrossing impressions of neil's belt buckle blaring red on his back.

tory's first kill is sam. sam larusso wants to think she's a bully?? fine, tory will show her a bully. she hops the miyagi-do fence after hours. she just wants a fight. just a fight, they always fight. but then she's sprouting fur and tory as tory gives way to smth else. she'd not aware of being a person when she doesn't have fur. not really, all she knows is rage and ravenousness and the morsel below her has bunny rabbit wide eyes.

neither of them remember what they did the next day. not vividly, anyway. it's there but it's cloudy and hard to discern, like a groggy fever dream more than a memory. but max burps up neil's wedding band and tory finds señor octopus (sam's stuffed animal) bloodied in her bed. it's apparent what happened. max accepts this more easily than tory bc 1) she always kind of suspected she'd turn, since she sincerely considered what attacked them was a werewolf and 2) max isn't terribly upset abt killing neil while tory is acutely horrified she killed sam.

max kinda had some smidgen of attachment to neil bc like, he's the only father figure in her life and here and there they've had their moments. but his abuse (psychological/physical toward billy, sexual/financial/psychological/emotional toward susan, psychological/emotional toward herself) outweighed any and all of those moments. she is genuinely concerned that she tore a human being to pieces and only vaguely remembers it but like, if she had to kill anyone, she figures neil was the best to kill. max is mostly concerned bc she can't kill neil a second time. she's worried the next time she turns it could be an innocent person, or one of her friends, or her mom, or billy.

tory is blindsided and scarcely able to comprehend the reality, holy shit, max was right, she's a fuckin werewolf. and she's sick to her stomach bc she hated sam but she never wanted to do anything like that. she didn't want to kill, she just wanted to break her face. scare her. rough her up. she didn't want to eat her. she just killed someone. she's a literal horror movie monster and she just killed sam. what's miguel going to think?

tory and max talk. they decide they need to find the werewolf who turned them. we get montages of them going over the news articles with a fine-toothed *ba dum tss* comb and searching areas where it seems like a werewolf would be. the woods. some caves. max all of a sudden has a freakishly tall man constantly hounding her to join cobra kai. neil's gone but she still hesitates bc of lucas being in miyagi-do. also he believes max now and with the proff, she's decided to let the rest of the party in as well. they also exist in this 'verse. she showed them the crime scene and the wedding band she burped up. billy isn't a roid rage racist in this 'verse bc that would be a giant buzzkill. he doesn't believe the werewolf shit either. he thinks max saw neil get attacked by some animal and that the carnage was so traumatizing for her, she subconsciously created a werewolf fantasy to cope.

tory meanwhile spirals downward. bc she passes sam's memorialized locker in the hall everyday. her memorial table in the other hall, full of sticky note condolences and mournful teddy bears, and a picture of sam right in the center always, always accusing her. miggy is heartbroken and distraught. hawk didn't care for sam but even he's freaked out by what happened, how the news said there were only torn up chunks and bones picked clean found in her bedroom. tory is terrified of herself. she's desperate to find whoever did this bc she wants to make them pay. if sensei silver has been asking her extra questions lately and presenting her performance to the class more than normal, she doesn't notice at all. aisha notices tory's fucked up but tory can't exactly tell aisha that she *ate* sam. aisha is also mourning, she and sam used to be bffs. so she doesn't say a word.

max has a theory that if u can learn to control ur anger, u can learn to control urself when u shift. she is, after all, v familiar with angry horror movie werewolves. and she's savvy enough to know it's smth she and tory have in common. neil is dead but that doesn't mean max isn't angry anymore. she's still angry at the damage already done and tbh also angry that there's some werewolf around turning ppl willy nilly bc she recognizes the danger in that and it wasn't smth she consented to. but controlling ur anger is an easier feat for max than tory insofar that max has a support system w her friends, and better relationships with the remainder of her fam. tory has two mentors actively, adamantly teaching her and her friends to be ruthless, view the world as ur enemy, use violence as ur go-to solution, and that mercy is weakness not to be tolerated.

when the next full moon rolls around, they decide to spend it together under the correct inference that they will transform. they think it's better to be together. they're hoping they'll be able to control each other, if not themselves. or that if they are both mindless rage monsters again, that rage will be turned on each other. this would be a better outcome operating on the presumption that one werewolf will be able to take what another can dish out, at the v least more so than a regular human being.

max is successfully able to maintain enough of her consciousness to control her actions once transformed. she feels aggressive and hungry, but not enraged and ravenous. she can keep it in check. tory, on the other hand, uh...tory can't do it. she throws her wolf head back in the most bloodcurdling howl ever and takes off like a bat outta hell. max goes loping after her. they can't speak like human speak in this form, but max tries to communicate with her. whimpers plaintively. tackles tory at one point, not out of anger but just tryna subdue her, licks at her ears and tries to get her to settle. tory bucks her off.

tory runs off again, max in pursuit. they wind up at the skate park where billy n robby are prolly up to some fuckery or another. i could easily see pre miyagi-do robby n billy getting up to all kinds of mischief. ooh, actually, they're prolly arguing abt that. now that robby's in miyagi-do he has another outlet for all his energy and he's getting the positive attention he craves so he's not participating in hooligan activity or shenanigans w billy anymore and billy is like. offended. except suddenly there's werewolves. fucking. snarling, gigantic, toothy, hairy ass werewolves.

let's say robby kicked miguel down two stories in this 'verse too and tory recognizes him in her werewolf form even if she isn't exactly cognizant of herself. she tears straight for him, jaws open. billy doesn't exactly *mean* to protect him but it's kinda an automatic reaction from putting himself in between whenever he thought neil was getting too aggressive w susan or max. and like, sure, robby's the better fighter (not that billy would ever acknowledge this) but it's not like he's gonna karate kick the motherfuckin werewolf anyway-- billy is bigger, he's bigger and it's instinct and the next thing he knows, he's in between robby and the thing w sharp teeth (tory).

and that's when max gets serious. she bowls tory over, away from billy before she can bite. they're rolling, tearing at each other with teeth and claws. lo and behold, terry silver is lurking in the background like the evil mastermind he is, just watching them shred each other and evaluating his experiment. it's a p close match and tory is the more aggressive of the two but she's also been going, going, going since she shifted and she's burning herself out. she's also fighting with the blind instinct of a threatened animal while max maintains more precision bc she has better control of herself. max also isn't wasting energy unnecessarily. max gets her jaws around tory's throat and tory just goes slack. but she can think and she doesn't want to hurt tory, so she opens her mouth and relaxes her maw, teeth grazing harmlessly thru tory's fur.

tory's being shown mercy. possibly for the first time. it's so unlike her conception of others' ruthlessness, so unlike the worldview that's been instilled into her that it startles her enough to crack thru to her cognizance. she does the wolfy deference thing where they tuck their tails and lick at the dominant pack member's muzzle. max responds in kind and lets tory up.

this is when they notice terry lurking (billy's already worked out the werewolf that came to his defense is max so he's just dumbfounded watching all this shit, and robby's not abt to leave someone who just saved his ass, so he's stuck unsuccessfully tryna pull billy away and inevitably watching too). terry calmly slinks over, sizing up his charges. he's pleased with the performance. but tory and max are anything but, another werewolf fight ensues.

so while they all get huge after transforming sheerly on the basis of being werewolves, i'm gonna guess the size is proportionate to their human forms. so tory is a little larger than max and terry significantly outsizes them both. terry is also the more experienced werewolf. it's two against one but it's not the curbstop it would be if this was some weaksauce werewolf, it's dramatic evil karate werewolf terry fuckin silver. terry's shredding tf outta these two. their healing factor can't keep up, he's dishing out faster than either of them can recover and tbh they were already winded from fighting each other first.

but it'd be a major buzzkill if our movie had a downer ending. and also, the power of determination and friendship and shit. terry's got his jaws around max's throat now. he's a millisecond away from tearing it open. tory's pinned under him but she thinks fast, frees a hind leg, and rips her claws down his soft underbelly as deep as she can and doesn't stop ripping, like pedal kicking almost for a human, but with her hind claws. his intestines shoot out like paper snakes from a gag candy can!! okay, well, maybe they don't shoot out w that much gusto, but still. the bowels are free, the bowels are hanging low and tory's tearing 'em tf up, fluids n fecal matter errywhere. on tory. i'm sorry tory. ur under him, that's just how gravity works.

terry dies. healing factor can't keep up with the damage done, it's too critical. but nobody knows it's terry until the dawn breaks and he reverts back to his human shape.

max is v much 'i told u so,' in billy's face. robby promises not to tell. he doesn't want to get mauled or killed or anything. tory's able to cope better with what she did to sam knowing that it won't happen again, that she won't hurt anyone else she doesn't want to be she can control herself now. tory believes in mercy now bc max spared her, she trashes kreese's philosophy and joins eagle fang when johnny and daniel join forces in this 'verse too. max also joins eagle fang, takes her place in the front row right between tory and lucas at her v first practice.

credits roll.

after the credits we see tory considering turning her mother in the hopes that having the healing factor would help her mom's condition improve.

is that a teaser for the sequel?

idfk.

#max mayfield #dare i tag tory #i dare not #lucdarling #ask box #my fic tag #i kind of want to write this as a fic for real #fuck

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lovleez · 3 years

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oner 《恶浪》 mv/film theory

(this is less of a theory and more of a debunking of the mv though)

warnings: mentions of violence, murder (i wont include gifs of the bloody moments but it will be discussed!!!), animal abuse, and a bomb or two ? (someone gets blown up ;-;)

honestly the debunking might get a lil bit dark around the ling chao and ziyang individual parts, so be warned of that!

it would be helpful for you to watch/listen to these to process whats going on here:

oner 《恶浪》 mv (cw blood, murder, animal abuse, & heavy violence - please dont watch if these are triggers for you!!!) (there’s also eng subs in this link ^^)

oner - AGENT (this is a song, but there’s quite a bit of dialogue near the end that ties into this plot!) (cw gunshot, beeping noises that resemble a bomb ?? - all at the end of the song w/ the dialogue)

okay lets dive into it d(^-^)> !!!

to get the important info out of the way!

the start of the mv shows the three of them chilling on the couch, as friends do, watching,,well themselves on the screen (oner’s past performances as idols) (and i do believe that the idols part of this has some significance that i can figure out). the important takeaway from the beginning rlly is that they’re three good friends...who are completely unaware of each other’s secret occupations

their occupations being: ziyang, a murderer, yueyue, a spy, and ling chao, a hacker

now to jump into the main story! (starting around 1:35)

yueyue and ziyang both have the same target: the man in the restaurant. however yueyue gets there first and does his job well, as he gets away without being caught. ziyang is frustrated that his target is taken already.

*interesting detail here, but when trying to enter, ziyang shows them a ring with a purple jewel in the middle for entry,,,coincidentally, the man yueyue kills in the bar in his personal segment in the film later also has the same ring? obv the ring is for the restaurant entry so maybe ziyang wasn’t going to kill this “boss” but maybe negotiate/discuss something with him instead...but also thats disproven by the fact that ziyang pulled out a gun to presumably shoot him before realizing the dude was dead....

but also,,,suspicious how there was a zoom in to the purple ring when yueyue kills the man in the bar..maybe it means more than we think it does? altho im not too sure what to think abt it for now

for reference:

ziyang’s ring

dead man in bar’s ring

moving on

okay so since yueyue is a spy n all, he has to confirm his kill somewhere right? this somewhere is a phone booth,,,one that ling chao has rigged up with a bomb,,,,

speculation: someone hired ling chao to kill someone who will be approaching the phone booth; at this time, lc doesn’t know that this someone is yueyue (and is v shocked to see him there through his cameras as evident by his “what the hell! are you kidding me?”)

....and after this part the film dives into their personal stories to give more background on who these three are (i’ll expand on those after i finish explaining the present timeline ^^) before coming back to the main story

so!

ling chao “accidentally” blew up yueyue oh no (he’s still alive tho yey)

& then yueyue holds up a piece of candy,,,and immediately knows its ling chao (cuz its the piece of candy lc was eating earlier in the film)

(and to take care of all loose ends that my brain is providing me with: in the beginning they didn’t know abt each other’s secret occupations...how does yueyue know that lc is capable of doing this? my answer: they used to be agent buddies!!! i’ll expand on this later hehe)

and so

it was at this moment ling chao knew...he fucked up

he’s afraid yueyue might come after him.

which, is exactly what yueyue does

after going home or somewhere, yueyue receives a text telling him to get rid of “them” (ling chao) bc his “identity is exposed”

....so now yueyue has to go and hunt down his buddy ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

and they fight! looks very painful for ling chao,,,poor dude,,,

since ziyang comes out from the back door to join the fight, theres two possibilities that come from this:

1) ling chao knew yueyue was coming and knew he couldnt take him down himself (lets be honest; he looks rlly scrawny) so he called ziyang to his location for backup (how could he know ziyang can fight? agent buddies 👐)

2) ziyang and ling chao live together in the same house

anyways, both results making it obvious that ling chao and ziyang are on the same team while yueyue is on another (lets ignore the fact that ling chao was getting up to fight ziyang as well)

the fight scene is so dramatic oml T-T

ziyang could also be motivated to beat up yueyue in this fight cuz the dude did take his target before he himself could (loophole: how did ziyang know it was yueyue who took his target? answer: maybe yueyue left like a signature or smthn at the crime scene, or ziyang saw him walk out ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ )

and when they all beat the living heck out of each other and are dramatically lying down in different areas of the room

the tv turns on to a council saying “still want to be idols?”

(and remember, the thing they were watching on tv earlier was themselves performing,,,as idols. i cant connect it further than that so lemme know if yall figure smthn out ^-^)

so mayhaps this council is yueyue’s agency and they wanted to turn the trio against each other...? they would have set this whole situation up: they knew ziyang wanted to kill the restaurant “boss”, so they assigned yueyue to take care of him first, which creates conflict between those two. then, they hired ling chao to rig up a phone booth with a bomb; basically setting him up against yueyue

whether this council succeeds with their plan or not is unrevealed bc the film has a “to be continued” at the end, so the storyline still will have more to it!!!

although i would say the council succeeded since they all did beat each other bruised and bloody

that leaves the question: why is the council setting them up against each other?

what are there previous connections beyond them just being friends 👀 ?

and here i shall bring back the “agent buddies” bit i was talking abt earlier, as well as why i linked the agent song in the beginning

near the end of the mv, there’s quite a lot of dialogue between the three of them, and it goes like this:

[robotic voice: welcome agent oner

ling chao (?): check

yueyue: yo what up guys!

ziyang: yo what up bro

ziyang (yueyue?): alright lets take them out

yueyue: okay gentlemen we got a lot to do

ziyang: ey we gotta finish this quick, i got a date tonight

yueyue: really?

ziyang: no hard feelings (couldnt catch the rest)

yueyue: okay shut up

ling chao: hey guys, i saw a hit

(?): copy that

yueyue (ziyang?): hold your breath....now

ling chao: guys watch out

yueyue: okay guys locked and loaded

*single shot can be heard, then the reloading of a gun*

yueyue (?): go go go!

yueyue: fire fire fire!

yueyue: ???? *indistinguishable orders*

ziyang?: i got trouble i got trouble

yueyue: ?? i got ?? lets go

ling chao: stay together

ziyang (yueyue??): okay set to kill

ling chao: damn the truck is (blown?)

yueyue: what the hell

ziyang: okay let me (???) it

*bomb beeping noises*

yueyue: ???? clean this blood on my shirt]

(not sure how accurate my hearing is but its enough to make some guesses 😅)

agent buddies! the three of them used to be agents, as the song is titled, at some agency...and they probably made a pretty strong team together

the agency story would explain why they all seem to be good fighters too!

thats why the council might have wanted to tear them apart. perhaps the council was doing something that they knew would displease the trio, so they needed them separated lest they team up and try to defeat them

i also think this audio could have been describing a mission going wrong for them, possibly their last one as a team. someone was probably hurt (im betting on either ziyang or ling chao), and they quit the agency and aimed to live normal lives from then on

...but old habits are hard to forget, so ziyang starts to kill ppl in his free time, yueyue joined another agency as a spy, and ling chao uses his hacking skills for other purposes

however they all dont tell each other, which could add on to the tension of their fight at the end of the film

now to dive into their individual bits of the film. these all don’t connect much to the main lore, just expands onto their lives with their secret occupations btw!

YUEYUE

his segment details moments in his daily agent life; im guessing he’s not very happy with it judging by his nightmares? or the nightmares are bringing up his past at his old agency which he does not like

he’s also master of disguise woah

personally i think he’s losing “who he is”. he’s always playing the role of another person, always putting on another disguise...so he starts losing his sense of identity (if that makes sense ;-;)

(and if you wanna stretch it and make things wholesome, maybe the only times he [feels like himself] is when he’s around his two friends)

so basically: he’s always filling out other personas to the point where he doesnt know who he is anymore

(this is also the segment where he kills a man in the bar with poison,,,and the man was wearing the same ring as ziyang,,,,which is like Hm. why’d the directors do that 🤔)

ZIYANG

aka the murderer :D

(and not just regular serial killer type, more like joker-esque type where they’re a bit insane,,,)

okay his segment starts of with him dragging a man through a white room, where the floors is covered with plastic, and on the walls are a bunch of clay molds of human body parts

my brain has concluded that! ziyang takes clay and makes molds of his victim’s faces/body parts of who he kills! to make statues!

(i dont even know how i got there aksjdhdh but thats just what i assumed the first time i watched this film thingy)

and to make it more messed up than it already sounds,,,im guessing he’s a famous statue maker too, and holds shows where he presents his works to the public and maybe even bids them off ?

,,,,little did the audience know,,,,

(this kinda remind me of sally and gabe’s statue from the pjo too now aksjhdkdh)

(i got this assumption from 6:50 in the film where he walks out in front of an audience who start clapping,,,and let my brain run wild with the rest,,,)

of course, he probably kills off the people he was the molding the clay off of once he’s done with his works,,,or sometimes even in the middle of his works as shown in the mv (*-* )

but alas that is not all to his story,,,

judging by his flashbacks when he’s beating that one dude to death with a bat, he used to be bullied when he was in school, which seems to be the source of all his anger throughout the film..

( yeah he killed the bullies too (_ _ )> )

its part of his personality to be rough and short tempered - he doesn’t like people looking down on him (as the bullies did)

and,,,if you want to be wholesome again! perhaps he found some bits of happiness and peace when hanging out with the others :]

LING CHAO

cw: animals abuse!!!

his is pretty simple and is already explained in the mv itself! i’ll walk ya’ll through it though in case you didn’t watch the film tho akdjdjkf

basically: he’s just a dude who loves dogs :]

a lot

in his segment, a girl (handong, looking absolutely stunning ToT) approaches him wanting to take home another stray, and when he asks her where how the previous dog she adopted was doing, she says that “my bestie loved him a lot, so i gave him to her” ( -_- )

so...he lets her keep the dog, but also decides to keep an eye on her...to the point where she becomes very paranoid that someone is stalking her (which..she isnt wrong in)(but she doesn’t believe it to be ling chao because they’re..dating? i think? and he lulls her into a false sense of security that he’ll protect her from harm)

and then bam! one day he breaks into her house, steals the dog away, and then,,,,blows her up,,,,,

(i must say as disturbing this scene is,,,,i absolutely adore ling chao’s look here askjdjfd)

(i mean?? look at him?? loving the black lipstick ugh)

(v pale tho ;-;)

okay anyways the next flashbacks reveal that handong was abusing her dogs & starving them, and him being the animal lover he is, decides to kill her for it ig

(also she,,,stabbed the other dog that she “gave to her bestie” so-)

yeahh thats the end of his story; nothing much to take from it except that his hacker skills are still intact past agent days

annnd thats a wrap folks! nothing else to expand on; i’ll definitely make another part to expand on this if they decide to release another mini film in the future tho :]

#violence cw #animal abuse cw #oner #yueyue #mu ziyang #ling chao #ayra goes crazy #so i didnt add much original lore here but...eh...#cant wait to see how qins ent is gonna expand on the onerverse :>#plz tell me if i missed any warnings!!

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yhtaejoon · 4 years

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hi! this is chey, i was here close to opening with kim1 (kim joonwoo), but i got really busy with a new job and accidentally dipped. i’m so so sorry for that! anyway, here’s taejoon’s unfinished info page & his pinterest board. this is rushed so it’s probably gonna be messy??? idk. we’re all in this together. hmu on discord if that’s your thing --- pepper#4940

full name is kang taejoon, but he has no affiliation with the kang family. he’s actually filling the role of daebak8! i checked the last names to make sure he didn’t have the same one as one of the families but alas, my pea-brain still failed me.

on that note, he’s a tiktoker born in 2000. started on vine in 2012, but didn’t actually get serious about his online presence until 2014-ish and IMMEDIATELY started lying about his life because what else is a fourteen year old gonna do online?

lied about his age, his hobbies, his family, his experiences, etc. he just really, really wanted to seem interesting, and hey! it worked! he eventually fooled thousands of people into thinking he’s someone worth their time. chased trends like crazy, kept in close touch with his “fanbase”, picked up sponsorships all while keeping his ACTUAL life completely secret basically. got very comfortable with lying.

he was always pretty obsessed with the attention because he lost his popularity when he stopped playing soccer (f’s in the chat for the former athlete side of him) & getting money from promoting brands was good, too, bc while his family isn’t necessarily lower class, they could still use some help. plus he needed cash to buy anime merch.

flash forward to 2020. he graduated high school in early 2019, still has no desire to go to college or get a “real” job. he has it made rn living in the daebak house and creating online content still. living the life.

except not really because how fulfilling can it honestly be to watch thousands of people becoming fond of ur fake persona? he still lies a ton, has begun to feel like no one will ever like him for who he actually is bc it’s quite disappointing in comparison to the always ON persona he shows.

his tiktok user name is “beetlejoon” which is a play on beetlejuice if you couldn’t tell dshbfvds.

he speaks english really well from a mix of classes when he was young, growing up online and trying to appeal to westerners, and watching a ton of western shows/films. he does kind of have an accent but for the most part.... a lot of ppl who only know him online assume he lives in america/is from america.

the rumor about him buying views/followers is definitely true. he’s not losing popularity or anything, he just wants to look even more relevant than he actually is.

cries himself to sleep like every night but you’d NEVER guess. he’s super funny when he’s around people, knows what people want and will do anything he can to blend in and make everyone like him. needs that validation so bad. life of the party.

flirts a lot for no other reason than he can and he likes the validation of people flirting back! but his love life is hectic and always disappointing. on one hand, he knows a ton of his followers are delusional w the idea that they can be with him and he doesn’t wanna lose followers by being Unavailable. on the other hand, can’t risk being too close with anyone and them finding out nothing he says is true. heehee.

he follows whatever trends are in at the moment, so he owns a ton of dumb shit that will never be practical/clothes he’ll never wear in public/probably has dumb tattoos he got impulsively.

his trademark thing (that he stole Obviously) is a broken heart that he draws on his cheekbone Every Single Day. probably claims that it’s a tattoo just to fuck with his followers but there’s those odd times when it’s not there and everyone’s confused.

wears all black usually, lots of chains, leather, platform boots, dangly earrings, but he’s not the kind of guy your parents worn you about. he couldn’t be scary if he tried. he’s CLEARLY just a tiktok e-boy. he’s more like the lowlife your parents compare you to to make you feel better about how slow your life is moving.

while we’re talking about parents.... his gave up on him when he moved into the daebak house. he tries to give them money and support them but they won’t have it. decline his calls. don’t write him back. they think he’s mad embarrassing which is... fair. his tiktok presence is definitely questionable

likes to be funny and make people laugh, but he actually cannot take anything seriously even if he tries. this definitely gets on peoples’ nerves, has probably ended some good friendships/relationships/whatever else. sometimes he can lighten the mood if it’s dark but most of the time it just pisses people off bc it seems like he doesn’t care/doesn’t understand.

idk what else to say but if you’ve read this far and you like music, two songs that i heavily associate with taejoon are cotton candy by yungblud and lowkey as hell by waterparks. listen to them if you want... or don’t.

i don’t have a plots page put together yet, but here are some vague ideas i have:

(0/2) --- past tinder dates whom he lied to about his age and it came out somehow </3 maybe he tried to take them to a bar and he got caught with a fake id. maybe they went snooping and found out none of his info adds up. either way, the dates were short-lived and they probably clowned him pretty hard.

(0/?) --- fans of his tiktok page.

(0/?) --- alternatively, people who know of his tiktok page and think it’s dumb.

(0/1) --- another influencer who is jealous of his following, thinks he doesn’t deserve it.

(0/1) --- another influencer who “beefs” with him online so they both get more views.

(0/1) --- another influencer he collabs with a lot, even if their content is completely different. they’re friends, so might as well piggyback of each other’s popularity!

(0/1) --- close friend who makes frequent appearances on his tiktok, usually for relationship trends bc he doesn’t have an actual partner to film them with. usually acting like clowns, clearly faking but his fans still think it might be real.

(0/1) --- someone he hooked up with at one (or more) of the daebaek house parties and ghosted afterwards. completely acts like he doesn’t know them. oops.

(0/?) --- friends to do dumb shit with. he’s impulsive and just hates to be alone (especially when doing stuff that might get him in trouble) so you could say these are his accomplices. if he wants to do things he’ll regret, they’re always in!

(0/?) --- some mellow friends who balance out his chaos.

(0/1) --- the one (1) friend he got matching tattoos with on impulse. probably something really stupid. the one thread that holds their friendship together when they fight.

(0/1) --- someone who holds themselves to really high standards, takes life seriously. thinks they’re better than taejoon and doesn’t hesitate to show it.

(0/1) --- ex partner who broke up with taejoon because (1) he wouldn’t stop lying to them, (2) he still claimed to be single online and (3) he just cracked jokes when they tried to talk out their problems, wouldn’t really listen. probably hate him now but he’s really sorry. please accept these (cheap, probably wilting) apology flowers.

i want every plot. all of them. anything u can throw at me! but if i kept typing ideas out, i’d be at this forever and we really can’t have that. so just hit me up if any of these catch your attention or if you’ve got anything you think he’d fit!

#yhintro #sorry for writing a 1000+ word intro

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nad-zeta · 4 years

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Match up | (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

heya!! tysm again fr the ikesen matchup, i loved it sm ♡ sooo now could i pls get a matchup for ikevamp, if its ok? 💞 (ps i hope ur doin ok!!) here’s the info again!!

bi girl, i prefer guys! ambiverted intp, gryffindor or ravenclaw, neutral good, scorpio. i have an older twin sis n i love/hate her sm!!

medium-length straight-ish black hair (side bang to the right) & dark brown eyes!! 5'5-ish, filipina! im getting glasses soon~

complex daydreamer- i crave affirmation/praise!! anxiety, i overthink sm! quiet w/ others cause idk what to say. im like half funny/playful & half deep/awkward- easily annoyed but guilty after cause im soft-hearted. i have a way w/ words, poetic? hopeless romantic! i tend to be quite chaotic? sorta socially anxious-

not innocent/naive but ppl think so at 1st! i look fine but im a big mess. superiority complex, insecure- smart n knowledgeable. passionate! a kid w/ my twin but w/ others, mature. its hard to friend ppl! dramatic but rather closed off. its hard for me to ask fr help- opinionated but i try to understand. i need lots of space,,,

i like to have fun n loosen up but would also just cuddle n have long convos. forgive but never forget- realist but rather optimistic. good w/ technology! imaginative/creative. near-sighted! rather selfish, i put myself 1st. love language is words of affirmation/quality time- stubborn! observant- sensitive.

a habit- i tend to drift away n just think? i care a lot abt how i look! i like bein the best so i get competitive. keyboard smashes!! i swear quite often. i like bein organised! i like makin faces!!

fun fact: math/history r my faves. sometimes im rlly hyper n say the most random things? i fear judgement, future, unknown, n failure. bilingual, learnin french! fr pda only hand-holding?

likes: gaming, affection, jokes (stupid/puns), space (stars), weapons (swords/guns), music, instruments (piano), animals, movies, books, philosophy, psychology, writing, exhilirating stuff, astronomy, mythology, etc.

dislikes: heat, presentations, naivety, stupidity, blind faith, stereotypes, being pressured, etc.

tysm!! shjsjsjs i changed it a bit- anyway, stay safe!! dont forget to take care of urself 💞

Hehe, you are most welcome dear!🥰❤🌻 I’m so happy you sent in another request! You are honestly so sweet! ❤🥰Soz for taking sooo long! I hope you enjoy this dear and I hope you are looking after yourself! Sending lots o hugs! 🌻❤ @x-joie-x

So I match you with………….. Napoleon

The first time Napoleon meets you was when he legit grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him, as he tried to get you out of the mansion. It was not safe for a human in a mansion full of vampire, and this soldier wanted to get you out before it was too late. But alas it was just that, too late. By the time the two of you had arrived at the door from whence u came, it was sealed shut, and no amount of tugging or pulling could get it to open.

Comte, who had heard the commotion, stepped into the hallway to see you and Napoleon trying to open the door. He strode over to you and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder as he led you and the soldier to his study so he could explain. After a lengthy explanation about your current situation he named Napoleon as your personal bodyguard to help you navigate, the Paris of the past

To say you were starting to overthink and get anxious would be an understatement. Napo looked over at your quiet demeanour and scanned your face to find a glimpse of anxiety. After the conversation with Comte was over, Sabastion came to escort you to your room for the night.

The next few days you spent cooped up in your room. Too anxious to leave, u needed time and space to sort through your feelings.

Your stomach started grumbling, but you just ignored it, cause honesty you were just too stubborn to go downstairs and ask for help. Napo had been pacing outside your door, trying to figure out the best way to coax you from your room. That’s when he heard the rumble coming from your stomach. He gently opens the door and strode into your room, “come nunuche, I made too many pancakes this morning, And I need some help finishing them.” Just as you were about to refuse your stomach gave another loud growl, cue Napoleon bursting out into laughter, “I think its best we feed that little bear before it gets angry.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at Napo, as the soldier went from scary and intimidating to boyish and playful in 0.2 seconds. You smiled as you watch the former Emporer of France try to catch his breath through his full body laughter fit. He finally calmed down and grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the dining room. A new fit of laughter erupted from the man as you couldn’t help but crack a joke on your way there. The rest of the afternoon was spent cracking jokes and eating pancakes.

Napo found you incredibly amusing, especially how you could go from funny and playful, to awkward in 2 seconds flat. He loved to joke along with you and then tease you whenever you would turn into an awkward mess the second one of the other residents entered into the room.

Especially Arthur, you would often get annoyed at his flirty comments and pick up lines, you absolutely left Napo in stitches when you made a sarcastically awkward comment back to Arthur on afternoon. Napo had learned by now that you were actually rather soft-hearted so the minute he saw the guilt flash across your eyes for being annoyed at Arthur’s comments, he squeezed your hand in reassurance, “don’t feel guilty nunuche, trust me he deserves it. Plus if you don’t believe me, just ask Isaac.”

Napoleon would invite you with him every day to help teach the children at his makeshift school. At first, you were somewhat socially awkward, but thanks to Napoleon and Isaac’s encouragement, you actually started teaching a class of your own. Napo loved how smart and passionate you were. You gave your all in teaching the children various topics, and honestly, Napo couldn’t help but fall in love with you. You taught them everything from maths to history, and the children absolutely adored you. So did Napoleon tbh, the man would take sneaky glances just watching you in your element. When stealing these little glances of you, a lovestruck foolish smile would dance across his face, which most certainly didn’t go unnoticed by Isaac or the children.

After class, Isaac would go off to his second job as a professor of the University, leaving you and Napoleon up to your own devices. Napoleon seemed to bring out that playful side of you, as the two of you goofballs would grab lunch at a nearby cafe. Or have a little picnic in the park, and just spend the entire time quick-firing stupid puns and jokes at each other. You sometimes get super hyper and start saying random words, which leads the two of you to have loads of random conversations. And TBH the two of you are always pulling silly faces at each other just for laughs. You live for those moments when u make a joke or pull a face, and monsieur de Whaha starts erupting with laughter. It is a true sight to behold, the way his whole body shakes, and the sight alone is enough to prompt you into your own laughing fit.

The day Napoleon knew you were the one and only woman for him, was the day he found you in the training hall. You loved swords and weapons so when you were helping Sebastian with housework one day, and you came across a vast display of swords, you were absolutely ecstatic. You wasted no time in picking up one of the swords and swishing it around. Napoleon walked into the room just as you pick up one of the swords and his eyes went wide, “pfft what in the world are you doing?” You narrowed your eyes at the man, as he chuckled, “practising, obviously.”

Napoleon’s eyes lit up as he strode past you to pick up a sword of his own, “then I shall be your partner.” You smiled a broad smile as you went on the offensive and attacked Napoleon. The two of you spent the next few hours smack-talking each other as you fought. Napoleon enjoyed every moment of your fight and the way you were determined to win. He found that competitive side of you rather sexy, so much so that he decided to confess his feelings.

After you had beaten him, he proposed a rematch, but this time he raised the stakes. He went on the offensive, and just before delivering the final blow, he dropped his sword and grabbed hold of you. Smouldering jade blue eyes met your brown ones questioningly, and once he found his answer, he leaned down to kiss you.

The former emperor of France was utterly head over heels for your stubborn optimistic, competitive personality. He absolutely adored what a walking contradiction you were, being both a realist and optimistic, being organized yet messy at the same time. Napoleon had noticed early on in your relationship that you were rather closed off and slowly, but surely he managed to get you to open up to him. The two of you have had many a deep conversation while cuddling.

He found that whenever you were snuggled in his arm, it was easy to pry information out of you. Especially when he would tickle you. He found out a lot during his cuddle interrogation sessions like how you feared judgement, the unknown future and failure, like how you actually care about your appearance and that you have a superiority complex. None of which scared him off, if anything he loved you more for it! Being sure to curb and banish all your insecurities with the sweetest words of affirmation and praise.

Napo like you, is also a bit of a romantic so this dork will 100% plan dates under the stars, especially after he found out about your love for astronomy and space/stars. He will definitely plan small quiet dates for the two of you, away from the loudness of the mansion. This boi will burst into your room in the afternoon, drag you to the stables, plonk you on top of a hose and before you know it you are sitting in his arms reading or chatting about anything from philosophy to psychology under the shade of a willow tree, surrounded by flowers.

Napo loves your writing, and this boi will insist you read him your fics whenever you finish them. He will spend the next ten days bragging about how amazing your writing skills are to everyone, even going as far as to say your a much better writer than Arthur.

Knows you need space and alone time and will give you as much as it as you need. He knows you will come and find him once you want some company again. And once you do seek him out, he will crush you in a warm embarrass and whisk you off on some exhilarating adventure.

Mornings between the two of you sweethearts consist of soft, heart-melting moments. Naturally, the first thing Napo does when he wakes up is, plant a loving kiss on your lips. He will tighten his embrace around you as he cracks open his eyes to wish you a good morning all while nuzzling your neck. He knows you are a sucker for sweet words so he will be whispering the sweetest of endearments to you, in between lazy morning kisses. Best be sure this boy will complement and praise you every single day of your life.

Other potential matches…………….. Dazai

I hope you enjoyed this dear! 🌞🌻and I hope you have a super good day! ❤❤🌻

#matchups #matches #match ups #ikesen matchup #ikevamp matchup #ikevamp match up #ikevamp napoleon #napoleon ikevamp #napoleon bonaparte #ikemen vampire napoleon #ikemen napoleon #submission

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redxblueihateloveyou · 4 years

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Hi! I really like your blog. Your analysis posts about ships or other things are really interesting and your gifsets are super cute! I have just finished reading your two anime recommendation posts and I was wondering if you plan to write a third one about the remaining animes you like? I would LOVE to read it.

Hi:) Thank you so much! Haha these were more like “bromance anime recommendations” lists. I’m glad you liked them romances. Here’s part 1 and part 2 :)

14. Hakkenden Touhou Hakken Ibun.

The relationship of the couple in this anime are one of the best on so many levels. They’re one of those “even the darkest part of me can’t hurt you” superior ships. They’re two of the main characters, 2 out 8 of the reincarnated warriors (who are all handsome af haha) that are meant to.. you know… save the world.

They’re both on the verge of death at the beginning and one (Shino) in order to survive agrees to live with a demonic sword inside of him which prevents him from growing old and growing per se (which is really sad for many reasons plus you’ll see him once in his 18-year old body and he’s so gorgeous), the other (Sousuke) takes half of a life from a dog, so he can tranform into it whenever he wants.

The problem is that during all of that Sousuke has split and lost his shadow aka the dark part of himself. His shadow works for the dark side, but all he really wants is Shino. The most amazing thing is that Sousuke loves Shino so much, that even his dark part would never ever hurt him. Like his shadow does some pretty terrible stuff to others like once he has made a deal with a girl so she would gave him her eyes just because Shino has said that they’re pretty lmao (I’m sory but its kinda funny), but he gets so pissed when Shino is hurt. So it’s the same as Akashi & Kuroko and Gauche & Lag: even for the darkest part of him the other one is his weakness.

Also this is one of the animes where LITERALLY the power of gay love saves the world by the end. (p.s. sorry, Genpachi, I love you the most and I know you like Shino too, but your flirting can’t beat such deep feelings lol).

15. Assassination Classroom.

Not gonna spoil anything about plot, so I’ll say it’s about “problematic” kids trying to kill their teacher who has superpowers and that’s it. This anime is full of controversial stuff, like I really questioned things and what’s right or wrong, but one thing for sure is that no matter of what you think about the situation, you will 100% cry at the end. I personally think it’s a kinda happy ending considering all the stuff, but opinions are very different when it comes to this anime.

Now for the ship. Let’s just start with the fact that both Karma and Nagisa have ehhhh… psychological problems haha (but who doesn’t in this anime? lol). So Karma is a sadist (like for real, he likes to get creative with torturing) and I think he’s also a yandere when it comes to Nagisa. He threatens to kill those who even talk bad about Nagisa and once has almost beaten to death those who bullied him (which I didn’t mind tbh lmao). He never does anything if others ask, but when/if Nagisa says “please”, he immediately says yes (which is also funny).

They both are in awe with each other and think the other one is absolutely incredible so it’s like a two-sided fan club. Karma is really scary, but when it comes to Nagisa he can be fluffy af. He also doesn’t care about people much, but Nagisa is his everything. Like the “I give up” moment will melt your heart, that was so cute.

So this is one of those “you’re the only exception” ships. Bc Karma is a person who will enjoy skinning ppl alive, but when he’s with Nagisa he likes to hug, pick him up and coo about Nagisa’s height, play tag, discuss his fav movies and tickle fight. I’m like… I’m just… this is great.

16. Bungou Stray Dogs.

This one is about a detective agency where everyone has superpowers who are “enemies” with the mafia group where everyone has superpowers, but actually they’re all friends and half of the detective agency date the mafia xD (I’m sorry, but it’s the truth). Like I still don’t get why they won’t just make one organization, this is getting ridiculous.

I’m not a huge fan of the anime per se tbh, because like it has way too many characters who I can’t even feel for cause supposedly they’ve had a dramatic past, but what past nobody tells, so I like can’t empathize to someone who’s an asshole without knowing why he is that way. Plus there’re many characters in animes who have had a horrible childhood/past but are incredible people (hello to Todoroki and Levi). And some characters there for some reason are degrading instead of progressing which is the worst for me. But it’s pretty entertaining to watch if you won’t think much about stuff, powers are cool and it’s drawn beautifully (but there is one scene that was repeated 28 times 28 TIMES!, we’ve counted just for laughs, guess which xD, that’s like.. they could’ve made time for a whole new episode instead of this)

There’s one character whose progression is so incredible though that I’m happy to watch just for him. It’s Akutagawa. He’s like grown so much and I love everything about him, how he went from trying to kill Atsushi to risking his life for him and letting him use rashomon, how he’s homey with his sister and how he’s so good with feeling his powers, how Kyouka tried to kill him and he was like “I’m so glad you’re happy now”. Bitch, like that’s the character progression I’m asking for! Man, he’s just… he’s my favorite, I love seeing many sides of him. He made me so happy in s3 when I was ready to turn it off lmao

So there are two main ships in this anime. Dazai and Chuuya. They are one of those perfect combinations. But not in a usual way you think.. like characteristically. Chuuya’s full power is uncontrollable and the only one who can stop him is Dazai, cause his ability is to nullify other’s abilities, so he’s the only one who can stop Chuuya and also save him from being destroyed by his own power. So basically Chuuya trusts Dazai with his own life when they work together (which is.. I’d be scared if I was in Chuuya’s place lmao). It’s not like I’m scared that Dazai’s gonna let him die or anything, but stuff like “let’s watch a bit longer how Chuuya is going nuts cause it’s funny” doesn’t seem funny to me.

Let’s just say, I do ship them, I think they’d be perfect together if Dazai was like a fanfiction Dazai, you know. But the truth here is firstly their relationships progression is zero to none, like yeah, it’s fun to watch them bicker, but it like won’t give you any deep feelings. Plus Dazai was the most humane and emotional when he was with Oda (which I really don’t get, Oda was a dumbass tbh, like who makes a children shelter while working in MAFIA???! ofc they were fucking killed). Like Oda’s so special for him but then he treats Chuuya and Akutagawa like shit. And he had more feelings for Oda’s matchbox than for Chuuya in the last season. So my heart just won’t lie there fully, you know. Because there are no moments there that indicate like he’s the one for him.

Now to Akutagawa and Atsushi. This is a classic enemies to lovers stuff. Like they go from trying to kill each other to risking their lives for each other. They warm my heart on so many levels. So they’re both struggling to get over of their past and can’t. But then by the end they help each other to let go of their demons, they give each other what others couldn’t. Like I still can’t believe Atsushi came in like a wrecking ball and said the words Akutagawa wanted to hear for ages (his face, his face lol he was like “w-w-what?”). Atsushi himself admitted that Akutagawa is his cure in the last season.

These two are like also hilarious bc they both think that they’re trash so their arguments are like “you’re the best”, “no, you’re the best”. Like Atsushi literally goes “Akutagawa is so strong and amazing, but he still thinks he’s weak” what a bae xD and Akutagawa thinks that he’s nowhere as good as Atsushi so it’s really funny. The relationships progression is like insane. They went from beating each other into a blood puddles to covering each other from bullets and being like “honey, don’t you dare die, I was going to kill you myself” lol

I still can’t believe Akautagawa gave Atsushi rashomon… he was wearing rashomon. I mean his ability, which is a part of him was okay with Atsushi using her. I mean.. maaaaaan fanfiction does come true! And they’re like the representation of yin and yang characteristically and even appereance-wise and I think it’s super cool. Plus the “lawnmower” is the cutest pet name I’ve ever heard lol

Anywho, this anime has like 20 bromances, so pick whichever you like.

Damn, that got long and I’ve only mentioned 3 haha, sorry. That way it’s gonna be like 50 parts xD

#answered #saku0015 #anime #Hakkenden touhou hakken ibun #assassination classroom #bungou stray dogs #karmagisa #ansatsu kyoushitsu #soukoku #akuatsu #akutagawa ryunosuke #karma x nagisa #sousuke x shino #dazai x chuuya #akutagawa x atsushi

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dragimal · 4 years

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Longform Audio Creepypasta Recs

hey TMA fandom! as a new TMA listener but looooongtime creepypasta fan, I find it rly cool that ppl who aren’t into horror are getting into TMA! I’m hoping this will help bring fresh blood (hah) to the horror fandom, so if you’ve realized that you rather like audio horror but don’t know what else to look into, I’m here to recommend my favorite longform creepypasta narrations!

this is far from an exhaustive list of long creepypastas, but I just want to introduce some of the stories I consider to be the best of the genre. and while I’m just reccing longform in this post, there are plenty of short one-shots I could rec if anyone wants to ask me abt a specific theme/Entity or even a specific ep of TMA (there are several MAG eps that brought me straight back to a specific creepypasta or two, lmao)

also, I’ll just be linking to MrCreepyPasta’s narrations b/c I’m heavily biased so I mostly listen to him, but there are plenty of other great narrators out there like CreepsMcPasta, CreepypastaJr, etc. (most of their names are variations on a theme asdfgh). and if u just want the text version of any of these, every video I link has a link in its own description back to the original text posting of the story

THAT outta the way, here are my recs! I’ll try to remember all the trigger warnings I can, but keep in mind I tend to be p hardy to most horror content, so there may be some things that slip past simply b/c they don’t register to me. also it’s been a minute since I’ve listened to some of these, so some have updated or I may have just forgotten some aspects. I’ll also update this if ppl find it useful and I find more good long pastas~

Penpal (2.5 hrs, complete)

op recounts some of their odd experiences as a child, all of which stem from an elementary school project involving a pen pal. as he recalls these experiences, a horrifying picture of his past begins to emerge...

easily my favorite pasta of all time-- and that’s saying something, considering there are some damn good recs here. it’s one of the first I read so long ago, and few have come close to what this one made me feel. op does an incredible job of capturing the nostalgia and childhood wanderlust of youth, and the last few lines of each chunk of the story hit like a goddamned truck-- esp "Friends”, I cry like a baby every time, it just.... hits something tender in me...

TW: stalking of children, subsequent kidnapping and child abuse at the end (and while it’s not necessarily *confirmed*, heavy implications of child sexual abuse, for that last bit). implied cat death. some graphic description of the victim of a hit-and-run

Search and Rescue Woods (~5 hrs, ongoing?)

op recalls several of the strange and disturbing experiences (their own and quoted from coworkers) of working search-and-rescue for an unnamed national forest in the US

y’know that feeling u get when u see photos lawn chairs just sitting at the bottom of the ocean? even if there’s a perfectly good explanation for why they’re there, it’s still haunting b/c it feels wrong to see them there, in that context? that’s basically this entire assortment of stories-- the obvious example being the stairs, of course, but even a lot of the human elements feel so out of place and wrong. if you’re a fan of Spiral-type horror w/ a hard edge of Stranger, this is the story for u

TW: generally clinical but graphic descriptions of mutilated bodies. use of the r-slur against an nd individual (it’s during a story that the main character is quoting from a different one-off character, so it thankfully only happens the one time..). child death, in certain stories. some wild animal death

Borrasca (2.5 hrs, complete)

Sam moves to a small mountain town with his family after his father’s job relocates them. he hears some spooky legends about the town, but doesn’t think much of them... that is, until his sister disappears. as Sam and his friends dig deeper into the town’s history to find any clues to his sister’s disappearance, they begin to realize there’s something deeply deeply wrong with their quaint little home

I’ve always loved horror that’s ‘mundane’ enough to be done by regular humans, but vague enough that it could actually be supernatural, under the right circumstances-- and this is one of those mysteries that keeps u guessing until the VERY end. my mind felt like that Pepe Silvia corkboard meme the first time I listened to this, I was losin’ it. this is also prolly one of my favorite examples of MCP’s talent as a narrator, b/c he adds in his own subtle foreshadowing with his voicework, and it blows my mind every time I listen to it again

also worth mentioning there’s a (3.5 hr) sequel! since the horror/mystery is basically done after the first one, the sequel is mostly suspense/thriller and character closure. if ur just here for the horror/mystery and the gut-punch of that first ending, then the sequel isn’t necessary. but if you want more closure for our dear sweet cast who deserve so much better, then by all means!

TW: the ending involves heavy sexual abuse (involving underage girls, no less), part of which is graphic. like I know I joke abt having to take breaks after reading emotionally exhausting stories, but I genuinely had to take a couple days of recovery after this one-- and that’s from someone who’s p hardy to all kinds of graphic content. do NOT take this warning lightly if this is a sensitive topic for you

Tales From the Gas Station (10 hrs for free, otherwise ongoing)

Jack works at a gas station at the edge of a middle-of-nowhere town. Strange things happen at the gas station-- bipedal deer stopping by for a drink, dark gods leaving vague messages, fingers growing from the ground out back, sudden lawn gnome appearances-- All just a part of the daily grind, right?

so if I wanna be totally fair, this is more a rec for Night Vale fans than anything (tho the TMA/WTNV overlap seems to be p significant). the comedic, nonchalant tone taken towards everything supernatural and horrific is p much 1:1 WTNV. I’ve genuinely cried laughing at some of the fuckshit that happens, esp anything involving Jerry. not to say that GST doesn’t have its heavy-horror moments, but the frequency is more comparable to Night Vale’s approach-- dark comedy definitely takes center stage, here. tho this also varies by the POV-- the “Finding Vanessa” arcs are told from the perspective of a more serious character, so the heavy parts are far more frequent and hit a lot harder

as for the time estimate, here’s where it gets a littleee bit complicated. the first version was put out for free, and read for free by MCP (among a few other narrators). this came out in several different parts, and the one video I linked above has compiled *most* of volume 1, but not the Halloween story, featured here. HOWEVER, the author has taken a second go at v1 and beyond, which is currently ongoing and available to buy as books or audiobooks ALSO narrated by MCP!

as for deciding which version to listen to, I’ll just try to describe the differences here. the first version was written entirely via Jack’s online forum posts, which were subject to more direct reader interaction and Jack’s scatterbrain. thus, the first version leaves a LOT more details up to reader interpretation/theorizing, straight up doesn’t have or explain certain plot arcs yet, and is very disorganized in terms of timeline all due to Jack’s canon memory issues. this all, personally, made it v fun and silly to follow, but I’m aware that’s not for everyone. the second version is written from a more standard first person narrative from Jack’s perspective. while Jack’s memory issues still make him an unreliable narrator (often *upsettingly* so in this version), the actual narrative is far more organized, complete, and easy to follow. the fun thing is that the first version can still be considered canon material to the second version, as Jack references making those very forum posts within the second version narrative. so, personally, I consider the second version to be the core cohesive story, while the first version is supplemental, fun material that provides more context for a few of the strange bits that happen in the story (like Jack’s ‘secret admirer’ makes more sense if u’ve listened to the first version). either way, the second version is the only way the story is going to continue (as far as I’m aware), so if you’re ONLY going to listen to one version of the story, listen to the second version

TW: for the first version, there are some uncomfortable jokes/implications at certain points-- associating villains/assholes with fatness and/or personality disorders is unfortunately a running theme, and a few off-color jokes are made abt some of Jack’s conditions (general mental health and his brief use of crutches). there’s also a point at which it’s implied that a specific one-off arc is a ploy to rape Jack, tho nothing actually comes of it beyond awkward scheming (but just in case, that story is specifically “Death at the Gas Station” at the very end of that long compilation, if u wanna skip it). for the second version, I believe the author was made aware of these issues and either straight-up removed or fixed most of them in some way. there’s just one point where an intentionally-questionable character uses the g*psy slur, and a few points where a regular commenter on Jack’s forum posts has w*ndigo in their username

in terms of gore for either one, uhhh maybe some descriptions of injuries? body horror? this one’s a lot harder to call for me, b/c the comedy softens the blow on a lot of the horror

Accounts From a Lonely Broadcast Station (5 hrs, ongoing)

Evelyn is the new voice of a small mountain town’s local radio station. her job is to take calls, play music (ALWAYS play the music), and broadcast emergency warnings whenever the fog rolls in from the surrounding forest. pretty standard stuff. she tries to make the most of it-- if only that damn crow with human eyes would stop watching her...

this one’s similar to Gas Station Tales with its heavy reliance on dark humor, but it takes itself a bit more seriously, with a more even split b/t genuine horror and comedy. also MCP brings in wonderful extra voice talent w/ this one, I RLY love Evelyn's va ;w;

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation and body horror

My Friend Has Been Living in an Alternate Reality (4 hrs, complete)

op’s eccentric friend, Clint, turns up on op’s doorstep unannounced after several years missing. Clint vanishes again just as abruptly, leaving op with a journal detailing a horrifying, dangerous journey that’s almost too bizarre to believe, yet...

so this one’s more like an action/thriller with horror garnish, tbh-- very exciting and suspenseful! I love the weird, apocalyptic world Clint describes in his journals, and the societies that have cropped up around these hostile circumstances

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation/injury

My Name is Lily Madwhip (~8 hrs, ongoing)

Lily Madwhip sees things before they happen. they’re usually horrible things like deaths and injuries that she wishes she could prevent but often can’t. at least her best friend-- an angel possessing one of Lily’s dolls-- is around to provide advice

this one’s from the perspective of a little girl, and it leans into dark humor enough to soften at least some of the more traumatic moments. Lily’s young enough that she’s somewhat removed from the full gravity of the deaths around her, but the fact that it’s happening so frequently at all seems to be warping her perspective towards death to be more... casual? is that the right word? it’s just a rly interesting perspective to see for horror. also we’ve got another rly great guest va here for Lily~

TW: brief descriptions of injury, but they’re not graphic. frequent animal death.

The Showers (2.75 hrs, complete)

op recounts a scary story he heard from a teacher back in high school about a vague location and a terrifying encounter. he later ventures to find this location to see the truth for himself, but is it worth it?

this one’s a classic-- I think it was of the first creepypasta I listened to? not this version, but I wouldn’t be able to tell u which narrator it was at the time. I won’t say that this one’s the most unique story out there, but something abt it has always stuck with me?.... idk, I think the premise rly hooks me

TW: oh god it’s been a while, but I don’t remember anything particularly triggering? maybe body horror?

#creepypasta #creepypastas #the magnus archives #tma #shut up ashley #blease give creepypasta a chance I need more horror friends /wretched crying emoji/#also I would've recced 1999 but I JUST found out abt all the controversy over someone reposting and pasting in parts from other stories #I totally understand why op wouldn't want the story narrated anymore shit sucks

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szopenhauer · 4 years

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Are you the type of person who gets straight to the point?: I try my best to explain things but ppl still don’t understand the obvious

What was the last thing you said in complete caps?: not sure what was last

Do you enjoy playing board games?: some

Did you wear anything new today?: pineapple shirt my mom bought for me recently

Do you ever eavesdrop on people’s conversations?: hard not to when they’re so loud

Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek?: I was because I’m tiny XD

Who or what made you smile last?: my thoughts

What was the last song you had on repeat?: Daisy by Ashnikko :x

Do you often have that song on repeat?: no that was one time only lol I hardly ever have a son on repeat, that happened like 5 times in my entire life, usually after breakup

Silly string or confetti?: fun but too messy and waste of money so none

How long is your favorite song?: about 3.50

What was the highlight of your day today?: it’s complicated

Do you tap your foot when you listen to music?: I tap but mostly due to anxiety ^^”

Would you rather use tape or glue?: tape

Homemade or store bought cards?: store bought

Do you listen to any hip hop?: nah

How about some lyrics?: I'm tired of weakness Tired of my feet of clay I'm tired of days to come I'm tired of yesterday And all the worn out things that I ever said Now it's much too late The words stay in my head (...) I'm tired of Facebook Tired of my failing health I'm tired of everyone And that includes myself Well being alone now It doesn't bother me But not knowing if you are That's been hell you see

Have you ever had a fascination with stickers? slightly

Have you ever seen A Walk To Remember? yeah Did you ever watch Captain Planet? I did Do you think that Uggs are ugly? I love them Have you ever watched That ‘70’s show? meh Do you get along with your sibling’s friends? we don’t know each other Do you have a fashion icon? sorta, not really Do you think that iCarly is annoying? possibly

Have you ever had a really bad haircut? sadly

What are your favorite type of calendars? pocket? Could you spend hours on pinterest? just a couple of minutes Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? I liked that Who were your best friends in high school? K.K. E.E. E.W. Ż.B.

Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? bottom Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I got a note in elementary, it’s a mystery to this day, I thought that it’s a response from M.N. after I left him one myself but it seemed to be a prank done by girls who’ve been bullying me so I threw that piece of paper angrily at him like it was his fault - I still kinda remember what was written on it, they called me a flower and left a tiny drawing - later, forgot how, I found that note again and I believe I might still have it stored somewhere What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? as a kid I had 1 sleepover (same school in which the note situation happened) my friend P.W. had puppies and I was allowed to stay for the night in her house Do you currently live in the city you grew up in? mhm What’s one way in which you’re behind the times? ex. getting a job What’s one way in which you’re still a child? ex. collecting stuffed animals, lots What’s one way in which you’re old? ex. health issues Do you feel old or young? Or do you feel both at different times? both at different times What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? money? Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? neither, I hold grudge and don’t trust the person again, at least for a long time Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? in primary most of them were, in middle school: polish, biology, chemistry and math and in high: russian, english, PE and physics (but I probably shouldn’t count it as we had it for a few months) Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? - What time of day were you born? half past midnight, my mother asked me why I’m so lazy as for someone who was born on Saturday and I responded with - I was sleeping in and was late for Friday What is the best hairstyle you’ve ever had? can’t choose Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? I’m used to my color but I wouldn’t mind dyed hair Do you ever listen to Celtic music? me and John had a phase on that back in the day, I wish I remind the titles... Have you ever wanted to be a model, actress, singer, or dancer? actress When you look at your baby pictures, do you recognize yourself? pfft Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? got darker, less red Do you wear matching socks? always but recently I thought about changing that fact Do you have a seashell collection? Do you have a rock collection? small Flamingos or pineapples? both Cacti or seashells? same but it’s harder to take care of cacti than shells haha Maple tree or palm tree? palm, ppl say maple looks like weed - I don’t think this way but that’s annoying, still I’d prefer maple trees irl! Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? wind chimes but not every kind Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? <3

Are you a pyromaniac? Bu is :P Are you a kleptomaniac? wtf Do you like to wear belts? it’s uncomfy and not good for my belly Would you ever get dreadlocks? I could but I won’t Do you listen to Eminem? no way

Does your sibling have a significant other? my sister is married

When and why is the last time you cried (or at least, shed tears)? yesterday?

Have you ever cried at a real wedding? not that I been to many but no

What do your flipflops look like? don’t own any

Are there any gadgets of yours that need charging right now? my cellphone is charging

Which awards show would you wanna go to the most (e.g Oscars, Grammys etc.)? I wanna go to MET gala, nothing else

Any idea what time you’ll be going to bed tonight? late

Does your significant other like the same colour as you do? she hates my fav colors besides black

Have you ever purchased anything online? obvi

Name all your friends whose name starts with the 4th letter of your first name. ...

Have you ever ridden an elephant? I’d like to (and camel and an ostrich and a horse)

Are you the candle lighting type? am not

Coffee in the morning, yay or nay? nay

Anal sex, yay or nay? hell no

Blue lipstick, yay or nay? okay, whatever

Is this question lame: “Have you had sex?” yep

Have you ever dated someone with really crooked teeth? mine are crooked

Would you rather vacation on the beach, or in the mountains? beach What embarrassing music do you listen to? too embarassed to write down? What’s your biggest talent? talented? me? r u kidding?

If you were a candy bar, what would you be? Milky Way? Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? air balloon What’s one word you want people to use to describe you? truth is most important, everything else is less

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? tons of books

Are you more of a visual learner or an auditory learner? I learn best with my hands (kinesthetic) but visual is probably easier than auditory to me

Do you have any dietary restrictions? ugh...

Do you prefer Google Maps, Apple Maps, Waze, or something else? I get lost no matter what

How old does someone have to be for you to see them as an adult? about my age or older

Do you ever ‘manspread’ when you sit down? sorry but I don’t sit like a lady - I sit like a lesbian unless there’s no space for that

When was the last time you were in a crowded place, and where was it? bus this day

Have you ever turned down a job offer? had to

What was the last medical appointment you scheduled? scheduled plenty at once

Have you ever had a dream in which you died? I die often, it’s a common element in my dreams, I’m fine with it by now

Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? oh well... majority of those times I was able to but once it was an accident and I missed my stop while going to school

Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? almost Have you seen all the Hunger Games films? yasss Why did you last go see a doctor? control visit about my IBS, GERD, food intolerances... Are you more logical or creative? depends

What do you currently hear? parents talking, music - iamamiwhoami; shadowshow

Did you get enough sleep last night? I slept a little over 3 hours and I feel tired Are the streetlights on? it’s not dark yet When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? when it’s warm for that or they bother me in what I’m doing Are you in any advanced classes at school? w moim profilu miałam rozszerzone historię i WOK (wiedza o kulturze) Did you have a good day today? it wasn’t the worst (compared) and hope it won’t turn into complete shit

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gotatext · 4 years

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TASK OO1 / OOC SURVEY.

[kermit voice] hallo.... its me

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — nora

AGE — 23

TIMEZONE — gmt

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — enfp-infp border cos im an introvert who Masquerades as an extrovert :)

HP HOUSE — i spent 10 yrs of my life thinkin i was gryffindor.... to find out.... huffle....puff......

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i fuckin wish! being a student was dope af i got stressed about essays like once a month and apart from that i was just chillin, surrounded by really intelligent people every day n livin it up on the party scene. adult life fucking sucks no one wants to have fun cos we all work fuckin tonnes of hours so we can afford to eat and get paid peanuts xx

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — im really afraid of bein one of those jock types who peaked in high school but i deff peaked in uni like 100% i was way more interesting 2 years ago

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im not showin u my instagram bc im a fuckin embarassment but this is pinterest , this is my personal blog, this is my writing / 1x1 blog i never use any more n this is my trash talking twitter where i mostly just cry about timothee chalamet and bash the tories.

DISCORD USER — kristine’s forehead vein#8664

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i dont read fanfiction much but when i do u can be sure it’s slow burn angsty enemies to lovers mutual pining heart attack every time one of them accidentally brushes the other’s hand

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — suspiria (2018 luca guadagnino version rogue i kno but i prefer the remake), the lobster, before sunrise, baz luhrmann romeo + juliet, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, thoroughbreds (REC!! so underwatched pls watch it. compelling female characters), hunt for the wilderpeople (also so underwatched), swiss army man, call me by your name, atonement, moonrise kingdom, trainspotting, the florida project. i rlly like films ok

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the song of achilles by madeline miller n also fen by daisy johnson

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — booksmart cos its fuckin dope

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — libra

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? — i like to pretend im super invested in it mostly to anger my friends but tbh.... i just use it as a rough guide for character creation.... its fun but i dnt .... fully invest in what it has to say..... altho i am the most unbalanced n indecisive bitch on earth so i guess they got that right !! i just live to please baybeyy!

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — tumblr for about 8 year (omg) n before tht facebook..... i was very embarassingly in a twilight rp..... i wrote jane..... i also rped as a scene kid oc n when i was like 12 i was on some weird forum harry potter roleplay where i basically played a self insert with georgie henley as the fc......

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i used to have so many hobbies but now i jst lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. but before i was workin like a dog i loved reading, writing, acting in theatre productions..... going out on the town getting bevved..... big druggy EDM nights in warehouses tht probably weren’t liscenced for tht many ppl..... gigs... costume-design and making, spoken word poetry, acrylic painting n rollerskating but my sister broke my skates abt two years ago in vengeance and i’ll never forgive her that fuckin bitch

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — no my landlord is a fascist

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i’ll never stop reccing euphoria!! also i was pleasantly surprised by looking for alaska!! but i also rlly like bob’s burgers, parks and rec, good omens.... black mirror, n sharp objects. lovesick on bbciplayer (n netflix i think) is also rlly fun

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — maybe love island, idk if i talk abt that much bc i am ashamed but i am so obsessed with it. i even got the love island game n got so invested in my fictional relationship w bobby tht i had to delete it

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — god god... i haven’t finished a book in ages.... i recently started reading milkman by anna burns, the bees by laline paull and everything under by daisy johnson.... bt the last book i read cover to cover was probs circe. defs read it. feminist and witchy

CURRENTLY READING? — i jst said this but the bees, everything under and less so milkman cos im finding milkman a bit tough

LAST FILM? REC IT? — i watched ladyworld the lord of the flies all-female remake n even maya hawke could not save it.... dnt get me wrong from an art film point of view i loved it but it felt a bit underdeveloped n a level media studies for me..... apart from tht?? the runaways (yorkshire film not released yet at a preview screening) and threads (also a yorkshire film from the 80s about nuclear apocalypse)

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — portrait of a lady on fire, i work at an independent cinema n we recently had a preview screening and everyone said it was SICK, uhhhh short term 12, n the new eliza scanlen movie babyteeth

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — madagascar because when i was 12 my parents bought me a little television with a dvd player in it for my birthday and madagascar was the only dvd i owned for like..... the first two years of havin the absolute luxury of a tv in my room so i just used to watch it all the time n i now basically know the script inside out

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — nothing, life is pointless n i hate fun, let me rot in peace

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — ughhh god probably lcd soundsystem. gorillaz, the streets, tame impala, talking heads, soft hair, i also love lizz tho n also angry twangy guitar girl bands like girlpool, courtney barnett, best coast, cherry glazerr,

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in my party days are over i cant even be bothered to go to the shops if its past 4.30pm and dark these days

ANY PHOBIAS? — clowns n rats

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — absolutely not

BIRDS? — yes but not if they fly in my face

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — i love both i want one

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — tory middle aged boomers who treat me like actual shit on their shoe because i work in the service industry like thats my choice and their poor economic decisions didnt mean i have to do a shitty job to afford to live bcos of austerity n cuts to arts funding meaning i cant get a job writing unless i self-fund :)))

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that everyone ive met through rp is a fuckin LAFF

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — god .... diana silvers, timothee chalamet, margaret qualley, kristine froseth, froy gutierrez, zendaya, elle fanning, astrid berges frisbey, hunter schafer, leonardo dicaprio

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — herman tomeraas, hunter schafer, saoirse ronan, timothee chalamet, froy gutierrez

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — linda mccartney 1/2pounder mozzarella veggie burgers, sweet potato wedges, tomato soup, mozzarella sticks, brownies

WORST FOOD? — green things like broccoli n sprouts gross. baked beans cos as a kid ppl used to do baked bean baths for comic relief / red nosed day a lot n i thought when they were finished in the baked bean bath they just put all the cold beans back in the tin. actually anything small that moves around on your plate. peas. spaghetti. sweetcorn. i dont like small things i cant control.

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — last year my housemate had an xbox n i went through a phase of obsessively playin fable 3 it was amazing. i had like 5 husbands and 3 wives and loads of kids but they all ended up leavin me cos i spent so much time out doing quests neglecting them

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — this

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — im one of those bitches who was in this grp all the way back when it was swipe... so quirky and original!! i knew the band before u! anyway im goin now this has been sufficiently embarassing..... i am lame

#huntingtonooc #huntingtontask #huntingtontask001

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lividian · 5 years

Text

Wat up, I'm here to bitch about stuff.

A good 90% of my life is straight pain and struggle right now. I spend every day trying to distract myself from how I'm feeling, whether that's through sitting on facebook watching slime videos for hours, doing schoolwork for even more hours, or doing regular things and pretending everything is fine. I try to make myself believe that I'm ok. Not say I'm never going to be ok, but I'm having a hard time dealing with all the shit life is throwing at me; has been throwing at me, for years.

I took off that mask yesterday, and I feel like I've been emotionally flayed. I'm raw and feeling all those little fragments of emotion I was protecting myself from, all at once. I've been in bed for the past 3 hours or so, thinkin about life and what mine is trying to teach me. Writing helps and I'm really open abt my mental health struggles, so I figured I'd pour it all out on here so maybe it could help someone or something.

A lot of my stressors include other people, so for their privacy, I'm going to use aliases.

Have you ever done something completely against your values/beliefs and wondered what underlying causes made you (re)act that way? I try to think about that often bc it tends to give new perspective and shed light on information necessary for changing those behaviors.

I had a tough childhood and now that I'm older, I can see the impact it's had on me for so long. Even things I can barely remember are reflected in my emotional responses and conscious decisions if I pay enough attention. Bc of the trauma and inconsistent relationship I had with my parents, I have varying degrees of trust issues, problems with relationships (platonic, familial, and romantic), and mental illnesses. I've struggled with behavioral problems for a long, long time. At one point, it was thought I had ODD because of the severity of some of my outbreaks.

Fortunately, some of my more unusual symptoms started showing up as early as 7. I had been placed in the custody of close family a couple years before that, who sought professional help when my depression and visual hallucinations first appeared. I was in counseling from that point on and began seeing psychiatrists at the age of 13, all of that lasted until I turned 19 and lost my medicaid.

Shortly after I started experiencing various mental health problems, I went into sort of a "dark age" and I don't remember much, like there's a big blind spot in my memories. There are some memories that survived and I've clung to, because I don't have much left from that time period. It lasted until about when I started taking psychiatric medications. And about that time, I started to experience extreme mood swings which resulted in damn near anything, from self harm and suicide attempts to violent outbursts and severe paranoia and delusions. These only increased in intensity until I was kicked out at the age of 17.

*I was hurt by that for a long time which fueled poor decision after poor decision, but I have forgiven both myself and my family bc all that anger and pain and guilt was doing was holding me back. I appreciate everything my family has done for me and I hold them very dear to my heart, especially in times of hardship.*

That's some back story for ya. A lot has happened since then, and maybe I'll talk about it some other time, but I'd really like to focus on the present.

My biggest source of pain currently is the fact that my daughter, Acacia, is in one state and I'm in another. I miss her terribly and every day I sit and think about how I've failed her. I want to be a source of joy for her, but right now she's hurting because her mother is gone and she doesn't understand why. We facetime, but she tells me that she doesn't like me and she's sad. It breaks my heart that she's dealing with such big emotions and I can't even be there to comfort her. But I'm also very grateful she's surrounded by people who love her and we can talk every day. It's really hard, and I'm usually in a lot of pain after we hang up, but I will always be there for her. I have to be the mother she needs me to be so I'm going to have to make some tough decisions. I'm not going to talk abt this anymore bc it's too much for me right now.

I'm in another state living with my husband, Onyx, and I feel utterly and completely alone. We left bc we were evicted back home and the only place we could go was his parents'. He shut me out a long time ago, but the homesickness is amplifying my feelings of isolation. Due to some of the toxicity in our relationship, I burned many bridges with friends and family, and aside from my 2 best friends (who I rarely talk to anymore) I have no one. Many days I beg Onyx for affection or communication or some semblance that he still loves me, but my efforts are futile. Weve been having the same fight for nearly half a year. I bring up something that's bothering me, and he becomes angry and says "it's always something", in some form or another I try to remind him that we have to work on the issues in our relationship at some point if we want things to get better, this is where he usually gets defensive and says something something along the lines of "I always need 'more or too much'". From that point, I've learned to just be quiet bc our problems are suddenly my fault and he will do everything in his power to deflect and shame if I try to get him to own up to his negative behaviors that hurt me almost every second.

I saw the red flags a long time ago, but I had hope. Hope that has now completely withered away bc I know he won't change, at least not anytime soon. I can see it in his face when I try to have any form of an adult conversation with him. The way he just barely squints his eyes while I'm talking, the smirk that I try to convince myself isn't real bc it's so slight, the overall look of complete apathy.

I've tried leaving before, several times and one period of 5 months, but I wanted to make things work bc we got married this year. He told me it would make me more consistent and I wouldn't feel like leaving all the time, but let me tell you, I feel like leaving all the time. I've told him about my plans to go back home, without him. I've told him I would stay if he would be a part of this relationship too bc I can't be with someone who is the source of so much of my pain. You know that saying, "you can't make someone love you if they don't want to"? It's true, fucking painfully true. I've found myself holding on to tiny shreds of hope here and there, making myself believe that he'll try in small gestures like a kiss or laying his head on me. But I've been doing that for too long. I have made sacrifices for him over and over to the point where I don't recognize myself anymore. I've stopped talking to wonderful ppl bc it made him uncomfortable. I'll admit it, I kissed a guy back the night after we decided to be mutually exclusive. I talked to an ex love interest for a period of time abt how I was struggling in my relationship w Onyx. But I apologized, owned up to those behaviors, and made changes. I don't deserve for those things to be held over my head and brought up in almost every fight bc yes, I fucked up, but I did what I had to do to fix things. At a certain point, you have to be accountable for how you let your hurt and anger manifest.

So now I'm leaving bc I have to get back to my daughter and get in a better environment, but I don't know how or when. Like I said earlier, I ruined a lot of relationships try to preserve the one that was ruining me. But I'm really stuck out here, I've never been able to hold a job in my working career, and even if I could, I'm also taking several online college classes (that's been a bitch too) so I can't work more than part time and even that would jeopardize my mental health. I'm really stuck and so frustrated and I'm sorry that this has been a super long post. Like I said, I'm just bitching about life. I know the most sucky situations bring about the most growth.

For those of you who are curious, my diagnoses are PTSD, atypical OCD, and persistent depression w mood incongruent psychotic features.

Also: Besides being a good talker, I'm also a great listener. If you're struggling right now, I'm here for u.

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spaceshipkat · 5 years

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btw i'm just gonna be spamming ya w/ stuff from ED's goodreads interview cause it makes me super mad and i have Some ThoughtsTM

i think all the parts of the overall ask i paste below are from you? apologies if they aren’t! also, my censoring in the names is in bold, as i want to avoid them popping up in ED’s tags.

“And then Mala///chiasz Czec///howicz came last in a blaze of wild hair and bad jokes and convoluted plot arcs.” - ED. so she means he came after she read the grisha trilogy and watched whichever star wars episodes kyle ron is in?

there’s not actually as much to say as i thought there was gonna be. goodreads spent several questions asking ED about her current reads and if she ever thought so many people were gonna want to read her book. they’re all predictably nice and humble. though she also says she’s interested in questions like: “How are people motivated differently when they have some tangible proof of the gods’ existence? How do they revolt against that?” and i’m interested to see how those intentions end– [1/2]

-up on paper, y'know? my expectations are low, but as someone who’s wips tackle *very* similar topics (though w/ a different angle. mine are more about how ppl use religion to excuse terrible shit) i want to see what kinda book i and other ppl who write about similar questions might have our work compared to. just from what ED says about WS’s theological situation, i’m already a little ‘eh’ about it. and i’ve actually seen ppl reviewing it on goodreads saying that it seems quite similar- [2/3]

- similar to christianity and catholicism and that it’s bad taste to raise questions about those religions bc they’re still practiced and i just??? not to side w/ ED here bc i have no actual idea what this kaly///azi religion is really like – it could suck and be offensive to christiandom/catholicism! – but whether a religion has current practitioners or not isn’t rlly applicable when discussing it’s affect & how ppl interact w/ it. sure you have to be careful not to repeat stereotypes- [3/4]

-and you probably shouldn’t be a jerk on purpose, but just talking about a religion + it’s affect on ppl isn’t offensive? and i’ve gone way off topic but what this goodreads person was saying really makes me mad. i’m somewhere around agnostic/atheistic, and i wouldn’t want to demean anybody’s religion for no reason, but imo there are some issues w/ how it and other similar religions have influenced the world and *still* influence the world today that deserve to be talked about, even if- [4/5]

-even if the person talking about them is as fumbling and snooty as ED seems to be, bc at least someone, somewhere who wasn’t formerly interested in researching religion might pick up the book, read the religious questions it (at the very least) tries to raise, and decides to do more research on the topic. i mean, i’m literally pasty white and very not-native-american, but when i watched a playthrough of until dawn, the horror game, i got super interested in wendigos and - shocker [5/???]

- *decided to do my own research on them*! presenting new topics to a person through a medium that already has their attention is literally a proven way to get ppl to research those new topics that they don’t know much about, and, man, if (as long as it gets rightful criticism for it’s mishandling of other issues) WS can get even *a few* of those ppl who are mostly concerned w/ ~the romance and dark drama~ to google or crack open a book on religious issues then i can stomach it being- [6/???]

-out in the world. and dude, this all stemmed from one person’s random note at the bottom of their review and i don’t even like ED or the samples i’ve read of WS, but if there’s one way to get me defending a person it’s to tell that person not to even try to talk about important issues just bc they might offend someone’s religious beliefs. that bs just will not fly w/ me on any day. [7/7]

WS anon back again and also can i just say how annoying WS’s ‘heretic’ bs is? like i get why the mc thinks of trana///vians that way – she was raised in a secluded monastery by obviously biased individuals and has the literal ability to communicate w/ her “gods” – but it’s so annoying to see it plastered everywhere and on all the edits of the mala/chaisz like it’s fact or smth. this isn’t an ask of substance or anything i’m just rlly annoyed by that for some reason.

WS anon back again and also can i just say how annoying WS’s 'heretic’ bs is? like i get why the mc thinks of trana///vians that way – she was raised in a secluded monastery by obviously biased individuals and has the literal ability to communicate w/ her “gods” – but it’s so annoying to see it plastered everywhere and on all the edits of the mala/chaisz like it’s fact or smth. this isn’t an ask of substance or anything i’m just rlly annoyed by that for some reason.

--i can understand why ED and other authors make themselves look better bc come one, no one wants to look like an idiot. but they dug that hole for themselves and they should have to lie in it, goddammit! those of us who can actually put thought into our pantheons shouldn't have to get lumped in w/ ppl like her who barely change a god's name and call that "constructing my own pantheon"

if these aren’t from you/are from a few different anons, i’m sorry to have lumped them all together! and i apologize for how long it took me to get to them.

i don’t have much to add, but i’ve mentioned before that i find religions absolutely fascinating and have taken many classes on them (not as many as i’d like, bc there are only so many credits that religious history classes apply to) despite being agnostic myself. i grew up Lutheran, though, and two of my best friends have very different views on religion (one is a practicing Muslim and the other pretty much avoids all religion all together) so i’ve been able to get a sample of a lot of different views on it. thus, the religious aspect of WS is one thing i’m really looking forward to seeing explored, bc i don’t think there are that many books that really challenge religion in some way/shape/form.

i’m definitely keeping an open mind about that aspect of the book in particular, and i’m only in ch4 so i don’t yet have much to gauge its inclusion on. so far, it doesn’t seem as though it’s based on any one real world religion so much as kinda typical of YA fantasy religions (numerous gods who sometimes pick one person to talk to). i know it’s based off Joan of Arc, so i’m keeping that in mind as well. the Trana/vians rn seem as though they’re an atheistic culture while the Kaly/azins are devout, so i’m not sure yet where Mala/chaisz fits in with that.

if/when religion is discussed more in the text, i’ll definitely focus on that in my posts, simply for my own entertainment.

#ask #anonymous #ws spoilers #myth & kat read ws

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paraclete0407 · 3 years

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Since I blew my Blakean-Mozartean lightness and sweetness cover and revealed myself not to be an ‘ex sad young literary man’ who evolved from gay guy plaid shirt fashion to respected limited manliness I want to say something about Stalin’s intelligence chief Beria who after the holy(?) sacrifices of the Great Patriotic War took to cruising the streets in search of a new teen girl to rape every night then in the morning would offer her flowers. If she accepted it was taken to be consensual and if not she was murdered and buried in the garden. Eventually during the Kruschev(?) era Beria was hauled before the Politburo(?) and said, ‘Why are you picking flies / fleas from my garment?’ It might’ve been Zhukov himself who arrested Beria and as he was about to be executed, like Indian bus-ride-gang-rapists, just couldn’t believe that it was game over, that your laurel are not going to cover that, communist Heroes of the Soviet Union don’t have an infinite expense-account for the human grocery store and all this time he really wasn’t thinking about death, the Second Death (that I can tell). Their parents (the girls’) must’ve not said anything but made ‘A Gay and Melancholy Sound’ or like sth out of ‘Sansho Dayu’ (’Sansho the Bailiff’). Yeonmi Park again is Enemy of the People for wanting to live, for remembering her father who was a great guy young and old who got cut down by whatever happened to or with KIS that I can tell, Jordan Peterson is like, ‘Behold the voice of 4chan crying in the wilderness’ but it’s still ‘as clear as the sky is blue’ I used to say that 4chan is probably a giant INTERPOL / Future Eastern Roman Empire trap / killzone for pedophiles and murder-hearted moral monsters seeking intellectual figleafs for their total depravity. Like in ‘Dirty Dozen’ when the Nazi party people are all trapped in the basement, douse with petrol, grenades insert through culverts. The only board I ever lingered on was obviously KPG since I felt it was a potential culture of life and love but in retrospect I felt they’re actually gang-rapist parodists as well, rabbit-hunters, their only redeeming virtue their innocence, that they’re young, that they never went to Pocheon, Uijeongbu, Dongducheon, never heard ‘Sheep May Safely Graze’ in their heads of had songs no one taught them a la ‘The Illiterate’ how to write on pianoforte. I used to like forgiveness a lot but I’m not against retributive justice b/c it represents value or an ‘overarching culture of life+’ including capital punishment IMO. You affirm one person’s value by mirroring the loss of that value in revoking another’s value whether it’s eliminating the chance for them to actualize their potential or obliterating or marring their physical being as an Image of God.

I became really extreme thinking about auto’s-da-fe, torture, punitive servitude which is still Constitutional in America though I felt that Arpaio and friends had been emptying it in part as a ‘schtick’ rather than mindfully or conscientiously. I Moon Jaein wanted to burn me with a brand amputate me etc. I would trust him to do it but in the American Midwest or so it is like ‘yeehaw.’ These super-predator b/Black men - it is important to hurt people, a lot; ATST anyone can be taught to say the right things + Cosby was a serial rapist no matter what he might’ve said although that’s terrible and tragic to say as well b/c Democrat(?) CCP assclown assassins like John Oliver will just use it to discredit everything. Like cancel Cosby’s concern, cancel his love for his murdered son (’my hero’), b/c he lost his moral compass, was coping instead of authentically or IDK never met Cosby.

Ricky Gervais the exponent of Kim Jongilist murder revenge porn / agitation-propagand for a Maoist doctrine of ‘massive retaliation’ against the weaknesses ‘ of the wealthy creative elite etc & Parasite’ was saying how after WW2 ′Adolf’ ceased to be a baby name, now what, outside ROK, JBP, Grace to You,’ personal responsibility is becoming infinitely assassinatable as well. Historical dialectical materialism / Marxism / hyperMarxism(?), ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ TS, DT Suzuki or so telling Japanese soldiers they’re not even pulling the trigger. No one ever really did anything, it never happened, unreality, as Min Jin Lee might’ve said it’s absurd to impute humanity to Koreans or reality and authenticity to the central concern of the moment which is like this massive convergence of times, places, and new and old beliefs, in or during which the Prince f Darkness, the Father of Lies, is being allowed to attack a lot of people and many are getting super-smart super-fast and as GG might say in 2013 ABC and XYZ are colliding all the time. Yet, still, at a time when people might hold more in common or be more generous and gracious ev1′s becoming super-clannish; I see men at the ATM with thousands in cash but then too what good will cash be in a few days? ‘We all know money burns.’ I remember some stupid Korea hyper-self-fanfic that was like, ‘I used to believe in giving kids a fair life-chance but after getting “promoted to Colonel” in edubusiness I was just all about money, women, and weapons.’

S1 once said of Tom Clancy that he got super-rich and might’ve to started to lose touch long after ‘Red Storm Rising,’ which helped win Cold War One, with the moral factors etc. that actually determine success in war.

But IDK what is automatically absolutely going to happen. If I had a rooftop I might well watch on it tonight. I felt concern for many of these people and rem. talking about ‘the inflictions of the voice of pedagogical authority’ walking w/ someone who had stayed friends with her HS teacher in ‘Rhetoric of Argumentation’ where the prof was telling us to keep commonplace books which I thought was good, then teach said I‘m sorry I didn’t get to know you, but nowadays knowledge appears to have transmogrified into a completely insincere category, a fake value, ground of fake intimacy, for fake friendships. Where are those girls now? I was literally walking to the bridge one night to jump of so s1 else can have my organs and felt this ‘flashlight of c/Charity toward’ some blonde girls at UWM like whos gonna cover them but now they’re all sophisticated and cagey(?) and I have no idea what is meant anymore, feel no gentleness, just relentlessness, game-playing, hey wall want information, they’re writing books of future history + burying the living alive. I wish almost for the first I were less special and more general tho maybe I am just nobody. I wanted to simplify and make one last valiant or else stubborn attempt at creative writings like Taeyeon’s ‘You Love Me’ where she is not really plotting s1′s future downfall / burying the Confucian gentlemen alive by the trillions under future MaoMao Qin Shihuang imperial government. Words like ‘bypass’ and ‘oxygenation’ are starting to mean everything and I wanted to add ‘metabolism’ since it can help with immune-systems and it talks about the ‘interpenetration’ of people’s bodies, the environment, the air, health. I also wanted to talk more about specific details from my past but as everyone is reading everyone that I can tell + tho I had progressed in writing I feel as if it’s just adding more retardant or I’m delaying personal decision-making... Does no one want me or just a few people want me

I wished to go to the place where the best thing ever to happen to me happened which is this bench I sat on after working all night but Liyoung Lee’s ‘A Final Word’ already said more or less that and it was someone else’s future, someone else’s man-wife-child ‘trinity of happiness.’ At Whole Fods I went ‘Selflessness’ but ppl are actually hunting for Shakesperean-Johnsonian ‘Other Selves’ and those that have something. ‘The One Fair Thing’ with this Sana picture that didn’t look like her in that one picture, something about epee(?)-fencing, a McMansion in Livingston NJ that my parents spat on but I thought, ‘It’s a reasonable place to live; it’s new; it’s sober; there are baby black bears in the NJ forests and they’re gentle animals that can help us slow down life and arguably know when to be sort of cold-hearted.’ Evth got kind of sideways-moving and I was thinking, ‘After this, then...’ I believed that it would be a great idea just now to un-adopt my old concerns as people really do appear to be becoming more defended and ‘patronized’ but that too is just conjecture; or do I know what the President’s capabilities are w/r/t holding everyone together as opposed to saying the right things about binding up. During the military dictatorship in the ROK the KCIA were torturing all these people all the time, young students, and it might’ve had to happen but when everyone is their putative brother’s keeper and loving neighbors is conflated with omni-pedagogy and ‘Lives of Others’-esque omni-surveillance things and lives can get pulverized as well as rebuilt - therefore what am I missing?

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