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fayes-fics · 8 months

Text

Comfort

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: Benedict comforts his new wife when her courses arrive…

Warnings: mentions of menstruation, non graphic references to period blood. Otherwise, just the fluffiest of fluff.

Word Count: 2k

Authors Note: Unbetaed. Thanks to @colettebronte for help with the title. Request fill for anon HERE, where Benedict comforts his new wife when her period arrives overnight. This might be the most saccharine-sweet fluff I have ever written. For my usual smut peeps… err, apologies? Normal filth will resume shortly, I'm sure lol. <3

You stir from your slumber to a dreaded dampness you know far too well.

Oh dear heavens, no!

Overnight, your courses have arrived without warning. Or perhaps, with hindsight, there were some signs, but you had assigned blame for the symptoms elsewhere. You had put your tiredness down to the exhaustive social whirlwind of your first ball as a Bridgerton. The dull lower back pain you had felt merely due to traipsing around the extensive grounds the host was keen to show off to all and sundry.

For a few moments, you lay staring frettingly at the ceiling, unsure what to do. You can tell that your nightgown and, likely, the bedsheets will carry evidence of this unwanted early arrival. You had plans to inform your lady's maids to prepare the following night. Trust your body to be at least a day early when you least need it.

Next to you, your new husband of just fourteen days, Benedict Bridgerton, is sleeping soundly. You roll your head to look briefly at his handsome face in repose on the adjacent pillow, then bite your lip in anxiety.

Oh god, he cannot see this!! He simply cannot! What am I to do?!?

____

You had been taught a few things in the run-up to marriage by your Mama. One of them was never to mention or address the “monthly visitor” to your husband—it was a matter for you and your maids to deal with. On the nights you were “visited”, you were strongly counselled to sleep in your room rather than with your husband so he would not have to deal with “such unpleasantness”. This may have been logical advice for a regular wife of the Ton, but your mother probably never considered how non-traditional your husband would turn out to be.

Hours after your nuptials, upon arrival at your new marital home - a wonderful brick townhouse just a few streets from Bridgerton House - you had politely inquired where your bedchamber was. At first, he laughed, then frowned when he realised you were serious. It turned out he had not made plans for, or indeed, set up a room for you separate from his.

“We are husband and wife now. We shall sleep together,” he explained, drawing you into his arms and planting a tender kiss on your forehead.

“But… every night?” you stuttered, still grappling with what exactly was expected of you as a wife.

“Yes darling,” he confirmed, still sounding vaguely bemused.

____

Since that day, you have shared a bed every night, which has been delightful for so many reasons. Indeed, you have never slept better in your life than in the two weeks since your wedding, falling asleep securely in his arms and awakening to his handsome, smiling face…

…Well, that is until now.

Now, you have no earthly idea what to do.

You surmise it must be early, dawn breaking, a grey, feeble light peeking around the top of the heavy velvet drape curtains over the windows. Barely enough to see shapes and rough outlines as your eyes adjust. Not wanting to awaken Benedict by igniting a candle, you gingerly push back the bedspread and slide out as quietly as possible. In the mirror across the room, you catch sight of a scarlet bloom, visible even in this low light, so stark against your white cotton nightgown. Turning back around, your fears are fully realised when you see a mirror imprint left upon the sheet where you slept.

Horrified, you fly into a flurry of movements. Wanting to hide both your nightgown and the sheets you have sullied, albeit unintentionally. You slip as silently as you are able to the linen supplies cupboard and gather terrycloths designed for bathing. One, you wrap around yourself; another two, you decide to place upon the bed, hoping it will conceal the stain until your husband leaves the bedroom.

You cannot wait to bathe but know that running a bath would surely awaken Benedict, the noise of water being poured into the echoey copper, even if across the hallway, being bound to rouse him.

Once back next to your side of the bed, you push the covers towards the middle and start to pull at the edge of the undersheet, hoping to slide a cloth under the stain and one atop, to stop the evidence from spreading. You glance furtively at your husband as you work, who unfortunately is turned onto his side facing towards you, as he often is when you awaken.

In all heavens, could you not turn the other way just for once, my love?

You move as stealthily as you can, so very keen to be unnoticed. The most challenging part is trying to wedge a cloth underneath, the sheet pulled taut by your husband's weight pinning down the other side. Just as you are fighting with both hands shoved far under the sullied sheet, you hear a sudden sharp intake of breath.

Oh no! He is awake.

His eyes fly open, and he squints as he takes in the sight before him. Then, a frown passes over his features.

“What on earth are you doing, my love?” his voice is deep and rough with sleep.

You whip your hands out from under the sheet, belatedly realising you are also muttering a repeated “no no, no no” under your breath as you attempt to reach for the upper cover and hide what has happened, but it is just out of reach, kneeling as you are beside the bed.

“Darling,” he sits up slightly, rubbing his eyes, obviously thrown off by your agitated state. “Please, whatever is the matter??” his tone rising in volume and concern.

Your eyeline falls reflexively upon what you are trying to conceal on the bedsheets, and his tracks yours. Unable to handle your embarrassment, you bury your head in your hands and slump backwards onto your heels, certain this will be repulsive to him.

“I am so sorry, husband; I was not expecting this to happen today; please forgive me,” you mutter defeatedly behind your hands, ashamed.

You are expecting a noise of derision or disgust. What you do not expect is a chuckle and then a large, warm hand brushing your shoulder.

“Darling, please get up off the floor,” his ask caring, no rebuke to be heard.

Your head slowly tilts up, and to your shock, he is leaning over onto your side of the bed, not far above the stain, and is observing you mildly befuddled benevolence.

“But, I…” you trail off, even as he reaches for your hand.

“It is fine,” he cuts in, squeezing reassuringly with his fingers. “You are a woman. Such things happen. There is no need for shame,” his eyes are soft with understanding. “I do have sisters, you know,” he adds with a sanguine laugh, a shorthand to explain his knowledge of your situation.

Your mouth falls open a fraction, completely taken aback by his affable, almost nonchalant reaction; it is very different from what your Mama taught you to expect. While you flounder in surprise, he rolls away and gets out of bed, padding around to your side, crouching next to you and drawing you into his arms.

“You… you are not repulsed?” you stutter as you recover, your brow creasing.

“Of course not, my love. It is perfectly natural, and there is nothing about you or your body that repulses me,” he assures, kissing your cheek. “In fact, it is very much the opposite,” his tone sincere and soothing.

You get lost in his hazy eyes and gentle smile, accepting his doting kisses that make you feel warm from head to toe. It is then he looks down and spies the bathing cloth you have swaddled yourself in from the waist down.

“I assume your nightgown is in a similar state? And that you would like to get clean?” he guesses empathetically as you nod demurely. “Then I shall summon the staff to run you a bath,” he hums, delicately brushing the stray strands of hair that had fallen askew in your scrambling efforts.

“Thank you, Benedict, so very much” you exhale, relieved and still slightly unmoored by his reaction.

His face breaks into that crooked smile that makes butterflies flutter under your ribs.

“Please, my love, it is literally nothing. We have promised ourselves to each other for life. I expect to see this many more times,” he explains calmly as he rings a bell to summon his butler and presently provides instructions for a warm bath to be drawn and the bedding to be changed by the maids.

“You do not wish for me to sleep elsewhere when I am so afflicted?” you check as soon as you are alone again.

He chuckles as he did before. “Whatever for? You are my wife. I want you beside me all the time. It matters not to me if you have your courses. I still wish to fall asleep with you in my arms.” His sweet sincerity makes your heart skip a beat as he nuzzles your temple. “Although it has been a few short days since our wedding, I have rather gotten used to you being beside me. I cannot sleep soundly without you, my love. Nor would I want to try. We shall share our bed every night,” he adds solemnly.

“But, what if one of us is sick?” you inquire as he helps you to stand up from the floor, pulling you into his arms.

“‘Tis no bother. We shall surely both contract the same, seeing as we reside under the same roof; at least we can suffer in company,” he jests warmly into your ear as his hands rub your lumbar spine with a pattern that soothes the ache you feel there.

“What if you must travel for your art?” you challenge.

“I would be heartbroken if you did not come with me,” he volleys back with a playful pout that you can't help but giggle at.

“What if one day we have a child, and they will not rest without their mother?” your question is almost timid, knowing there is a bloom on your cheeks at the very thought.

He cups your jaw gently and tilts your face to look up into his. His mien is so devoted that the air is stolen from your lungs.

“Then they shall simply sleep between us, my love. It will be my child, too. You will not be alone. Not when you have your monthly courses and not in the raising of our children. Of that, I promise,” his cadence is lilting and ardent.

“Thank you, Benedict,” you breathe shakily, scarcely able to believe that the man you married is nothing like how your mother had warned. It makes you feel so grateful you cannot stop your emotions, heightened at this time of the month, from bubbling over.

A large, warm thumb blots the tears that gather at the corner of your eyes without comment; he just accepts your state, bussing a kiss onto your forehead.

“I love you, y/n,” he breathes, warm air gusting over your skin.

“I love you too, Benedict,” your reply muffled into his neck as you mould into his strong embrace, remaining there until a lady’s maid taps on the door to convey that your bath is ready.

And true to his word, over the years, you are never a night without your husband. Through many monthly courses, through sickness and health, through children and even grandchildren. It is always his face you see just before your eyes droop closed and the moment they flutter open again. Your safe space. Your comfort.

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d1xonss · 4 months

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Hi!! Could I request a one shot where reader and Daryl are like complete opposites?? But he realizes eventually he’s grown to love her or something like that?? Thank you!

Enchanting

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Reader

✧ Era : Season 5/6

✧ Pronouns : she/her

✧ Genre : Fluff

✧ Word Count : 3.6k

AN ~ Thank you so much for this request! I’ve been writing some pretty sad stuff lately so I’m glad to have something on the lighter side lol. I tried my best with this considering I haven't been writing much outside of the series I've been updating. But I'm always up for the practice. Hope you enjoy!

He just couldn’t wrap his head around it. How someone so fragile, so delicate, so perfect, survived this long in a world as shitty as this.

Alexandria as a whole felt like a dream within itself. Arriving with his family at the giant gates after living a life of hell on the road, it was something he would call a miracle. Though he hardly believed in such a thing, he thought this was as close as it was going to get. Houses lined up down the road, running water, electricity, it almost seemed too unreal to him to even want to stay in a place like this.

It took him some time to get adjusted, some of his people having to drag him out of the house by his hair to actually give this place a chance. They wanted him to open up, socialize a bit more with some of the people in the community seeing as they were planning to stay in this dream-like place.

Carol was the most persistent of them all. She poked and prodded at him for days to get out of the house and actually give this place a chance. He would argue and say that he had left the house since their arrival, but in her mind, going out for hours to hunt was hardly the socializing she had in mind. All she wanted was for Daryl to be able to thrive here as the rest of them were slowly doing, not wanting to see him completely shut himself out.

So, after a whole week of trying to coax him out of the secure home, he finally agreed to a party.

Did he enjoy parties? No, absolutely not. He didn’t know what to do at those types of events, not knowing how to really talk with others freely as it wasn’t exactly his strong suit. He would most likely just awkwardly stand in the corner by himself until enough time passed for him to be able to leave. And at least then he could say he tried.

When the day finally came it was safe to say he was a little nervous. He hadn’t talked to really anyone outside of his close knit group in what felt like forever. He had no idea if he would even be good at the whole “small talk” thing as he never once was to begin with. But still, he promised he’d try.

So, after getting back from a hunt he went on earlier that day, he headed towards the lit up house as instructed. Though the closer he got, the more nervous he became. His palms began to sweat a little as he wiped them a few different times on his jeans, trying to swallow whatever anxiety was creeping back up to haunt him. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal, but it was. To him, it was.

He eventually forced himself to open up the front door with almost instant regret, seeing a few turning heads to notice his presence in the room. Though he tried to ignore it for the most part, only nodding to the familiar faces he saw in different areas of the mostly filled house. He already grew uncomfortable at the watchful eyes that managed to follow him, purposefully looking away as he kept his head down while he moved.

Alright, time to find a corner, he thought to himself as he subtly scoped the place out, preparing to be alone for most of the night.

“Daryl!”

Damnit.

He reluctantly turned his head to see Carol approaching him rather quickly with a wide smile on her face as she quickly brought him into a hug, “Oh, I’m so happy you made it.”

“Mhm,” he hummed with a nod as he patted her back awkwardly before she finally pulled away, “Said I’d try…so m’ tryin.”

“And I’m very proud of you.” she said sincerely as she placed a hand on his cheek for a moment, before pulling back with an even larger smile, “You want something to drink?”

He dipped his head in a nod of appreciation as she tapped his shoulder, “I’ll be right back.” she promised, before turning around to maneuver through the sea of people.

Daryl patted the sides of his legs nervously as he waited for her return, scanning over different things in the house that caught his attention. One was the slightly flickering light above his head, another was the music playing somewhat softly in the background of people’s loud conversations. And the third was a laugh. A quite delightful laugh that had his attention from the second it hit his ears.

Daryl’s head whipped in the direction of the sudden delicate noise, his eyes catching sight of a woman he had never seen around the community before. Over the past week he had managed to see a few other residents of Alexandria when he traveled outside, sending them a polite nod when he passed through. But he had never seen you before.

He watched intently as you interacted with someone else from right next to you, whispering something close to your ear as you let out another light and enchanting laugh. His eyes moved over the features of your face, seeing your eyes crinkling at the corners and dimples forming on your cheeks from how wide you smiled. His lips parted a little at the sight, his head even tilting a bit to the side as he continued to study your movements.

You occasionally tucked a piece of hair behind your ear everytime it got in the way of your eyes, your hand effortlessly falling back down to grasp the cup of the drink you held in your hands. Your nose occasionally scrunched up a bit as you spoke, clearly about something that brought you joy and it intrigued Daryl more than he was willing to admit. A part of him wanted to get closer to hear the delightful story you were surely telling. He could in fact almost make out the sound of your voice from where he stood-

“Here’s your drink.” Carol’s voice quickly cut into his thoughts.

He practically jumped out of his skin at her arrival, glancing down to see the beer bottle in her hands before swiping it in his own grasp with a quiet thanks. Her brows furrowed in slight confusion as now all Daryl could seem to focus on was the ground, but curiosity got the better of her as to why he was so jumpy. Her eyes glanced behind her shoulder and did a scan of the surroundings…before a smirk was brought to her face.

“She’s pretty.” she commented casually.

Daryl’s eyes flew up to meet her smug expression with a scoff, “Dunno what yer talkin bout.” he brushed off as he raised the bottle to meet his lips.

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes, “I’m not dense, Daryl, and neither are you…” she trailed off before glancing back once more to catch you laughing yet again, “I think you should go talk to her.”

A scoff was the only response he could come up with, a reddened pigment covering his cheeks at the suggestion. You were already having a good time, why the hell would you want to talk to someone like him instead.

“I’m serious.” Carol pushed, “I think it’s the right kind of socializing you need.” she finished with a wink.

He gave her a pointed look as he took another swig of the liquid, his eyes panning back over towards you as the person whom you were once talking with, suddenly walked away. So now you stood alone, swaying back and forth a little to the music in content as you occasionally took a sip from your own drink as well.

“Well, would you look at that…a spot seemed to open up.” Carol teased as she nudged his side a little to which he just brushed her away with an annoyed grunt.

Though he couldn’t argue as he continued to casually glance at you still standing alone, though it looked like you didn’t mind too much. You looked almost too peaceful in a cramped party filled to the brim with people. Maybe he should take a chance. Just this once in his life maybe the leap of faith would do him some good, giving him an opportunity to talk to you.

After having an eternal inner debate with himself and a loud sigh left his lips, he finally pushed himself to move forward. He tried to ignore Carol’s wide smile in encouragement as he passed by her completely, but it truly was hard to ignore. He huffed as he moved further, awkwardly squeezing by a few people lingering in the way before he could reach you.

Although it happened all too fast, now standing in front of you with somewhat of a blank expression as you now looked him in the eye. Daryl swallowed thickly as he stood frozen upon seeing your gaze match his, your eyes were beautiful as they seemed to hold something much more than he was expecting. Everything about you seemed to make time stop for him.

“Hi.” you greeted politely after a few seconds of silence, sending a smile his way that almost caused him to melt.

He cleared his throat, “Hey.” he responded dryly, now almost panicking as he didn’t think this through as much as he should’ve. He was suddenly rendered speechless, not knowing what to say next as you looked at him almost expectantly.

Though your eyes narrowed the smallest bit, the smile still remaining on your face, “I recognize you, you’re new.” you stated with a raised finger, “Apart of Rick’s group, right? Daryl?”

“Uh huh.” he mumbled as he continued to stare, almost in disbelief that you had recalled seeing him before, enough to recognize him and even know his name. He’d almost wished you would repeat his name again so he could hear you say it just once more.

Your smile widened even more if that were possible as you suddenly held out your hand for him to take, “I’m (Y/N).”

And just like that, after hearing your name for the very first time, he could never seem to get it out of his head. He didn't necessarily know it then, but you would soon become a person that Daryl cared very much for. Someone he would give up his life for. Someone he would grow to love.

He was infatuated with you, slowly finding the time to leave the house more and more so he could have a chance at catching you outside as well. Normally he would never be so bold as to plan something like this just to get a chance to talk to you, but he couldn’t help it. There was just something so special about you that he couldn’t ignore.

Months in the community went by just like that, getting countless chances and opportunities to spend more time with you on multiple occasions. You were honestly flattered that the stoic man wanted to seek you out whenever he got the chance, offering to help fix something in your house or inviting you out on one of his hunts, you were always excited upon his arrival.

In exchange you would always have something to give him in return for his countless acts of kindness. Whether it was giving him something you had baked or his worn jeans you offered to patch up and sew, you wanted to give him something. He always seemed to deny your persistence, wanting nothing in return as he thought you were the best gift he could ever receive. But still you pushed, batting your eyelashes at him until he finally agreed to take whatever you presented, leaving you smiling at his bashful state.

You knew of his growing feelings towards you, of course you did. You picked up on it after he stopped by your house about three different times to make sure the bathroom sink he had fixed was still working properly. Daryl however was still painfully oblivious as he failed to realize that after all this time, you too found yourself growing feelings for him.

“I think you should just bite the bullet and ask her.” Carol advised as she mauvered around the kitchen, cooking dinner for the two of them.

Daryl’s constant resort was to just scoff at her words as he held his head in one of his hands at the kitchen island, “Alright.” he mumbled sarcastically.

She whipped around with slightly widened eyes, “I’m being serious!” she said as she stirred something heated on the stove, “And you better do it fast before she gets swept up by someone else.”

His eyes quickly snapped up towards her at the possibility, “Ya think that’ll happen?” he asked, not even trying to hide his worry.

He cared for you deeply, unlike anything he had ever felt before, the last thing he wanted to see was you with someone else. But at the same time he was scared. Scared to ask you out for some kind of date if you didn’t see him the same way he saw you. He didn’t want to ruin what he already had with you, he didn’t want to scare you away. But the suggestion of you being with someone besides him now made him worry further.

“I think that it could happen.” Carol corrected, “She’s very kind and pretty, it’s hard for me to believe she hasn’t found someone yet.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing…” Daryl said as he trailed off, “Better then endin up with some asshole like me.”

The woman sighed heavily as she dropped the wooden spoon in her hands and turned around fully to face him, “Daryl, that girl absolutely adores you. You might not be able to see it, but I do. I think you should just…take a chance. Like you did with that party.” she spoke knowingly.

He sent her a glare through his lids, earning a small laugh from her as she turned back around. His mind seemed to wander for a long moment as Carol’s back was facing him now, thinking if now was really the time to make some type of move. He wanted nothing more than to just confess what he’s been feeling for so long, wanting to sweep you off your feet and never let you go. But it wasn’t that easy.

He had thought about this situation before in the past, a lot more than he was willing to admit, but everytime he seemed to always talk himself out of it. He didn’t know how you would react, if you would be offended or flattered. If you would turn him down easy for leave him brokenhearted. There were too many possibilities for him to ignore, too many scenarios to think through.

But in the end you were the kindest person he had ever met and he felt safe with you, safer than he had ever felt before. Perhaps that was the only reason he needed to finally take a chance.

Before he could even process what he was doing, he suddenly stood up from his seat and headed straight towards the front door, trying not to talk himself out of the sudden decision he just made. He was fast and light on his feet as he walked down the porch steps, nearly falling on his ass as he missed the last one in a hurry. But he hardly let it bother him, looking like a man on a mission to others he was passing by on the sidewalk.

The walk to your house felt fast and slow all at once, his heartbeat rapidly pounding in his chest with each step closer he got. He felt his hands begin to sweat a bit as he trudged up the steps to your pretty yellow house, noticing the arrangements of flowers you had on either side of the porch that matched your personality perfectly. He was inches away from the front door now as he stood back and hesitated to knock on the wooden frame to your home. His eyes glanced down for a moment to your welcome mat below his feet, scraping off his dirty boots as he would never wish to track mud into your house.

With his boots clean(ish) and a huff passing from his lips, he finally raised his fist up towards the door to give it a firm and heavy knock, waiting for you to answer. The seconds seemed to go impossibly slow as he waited, wondering to himself if you were even home. You loved to head to the gardens this time of day, picking your share of the fruits and vegetables being grown. Perhaps he had missed you completely, contemplating if he should just turn around and head back seeing as the seconds turned into minutes.

But then he heard it. The faintness of your voice calling through the house that you were coming, followed by the pitter patter of your light and delicate footsteps. He swallowed thickly before the door was suddenly swung open, revealing your smiling face that seemed to light up even more at just the sight of him.

“Hey!” you greeted cheerfully as you bounded forward to close the distance between you two, bringing him in for a tight embrace.

He grunted at the sudden impact, but smiled a bit to himself as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around you softly. He feared that he would break you if he squeezed a little too tight.

You pulled back with a smile just as wide as your eyes lingered a bit over his face, “What’s up? You need something?” you asked politely.

He couldn’t help but think that he needed you and only you, but it felt a little wrong to be that blunt right away so he settled with a shake of his head, “Nah, just…just wanted ta see ya.” he spoke honestly.

Your eyes twinkled at the sweetness of him as you laughed lightly, “I’ve been wanting to see you too.” you admitted, “It feels like it’s been too long since we’ve hung out.”

“Yeah,” he grunted as he cleared his throat a little, “Shit’s gettin busier round here.”

You nodded in agreement, a little sympathy on your features as you knew how much he did around here for the community, “But- uh…” he quickly corrected, “I’ll always make time for ya…no matter how busy it gets.” he admitted nervously.

Your heart warmed as you smiled at him sweetly, “You sure?” you asked a bit playfully, “You sure you’re not too busy?” you poked as you ventured out to take his hand softly in yours.

He smiled down at you as you intertwined your fingers with his, as you normally would do, “Never.” he promised.

His eyes then took the time to take in your appearance as he normally would do. Your hair was pulled back a bit as it was tied up with a light pink ribbon, framing your face angelically as a few strands fell from the front and landed just above your cheekbones. He then noticed the sundress that fit your figure beautifully, finding himself loving the many skirts and flowy dresses you constantly wore. And then the jewelry that hung around your neck, a tiny pink diamond that was shaped into a heart as it sat in the middle of your chest.

It was actually a gift he had given you weeks ago, something he had found on a run that just reminded him of you. It was so soft and delicate, and the heart seemed fitting to your style.

“Did you…want to come in for a bit?” you asked as you noticed him grow a little quieter than usual.

He snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of your sweet voice, “Oh- uh- nah…I just came over here ta…ask ya somethin.”

“So ask.” you prodded gently with a soft squeeze to his hand that made his knees feel like jelly.

You knew that Daryl often had a hard time with things like this, seeing it made him uncomfortable to say or ask something out of his comfort zone. But you were always so patient with him it blew his mind, always willing to wait for him to just come out and say it.

“Alright, so uh…” he cleared his throat before swallowing thickly, “I was just um…just wonderin…if ya wanted to maybe…go on a ride with me sometime…?”

Your eyes brightened a little as you went to open your mouth to answer, but he quickly cut you off, “Nah, I mean- n-not like just a ride, but like…out together sometime…just the two of us...kinda like-”

His rambling went on for a few more seconds before you decided to cut him off instead. He suddenly clamped his mouth shut in a split second when he felt the softness of your lips brushing across his cheek, leaving a light peck before you pulled away with a smile.

“I’d love to.” you said.

The man was stunned to silence, feeling his face get hot and the burning of his cheek becoming more intense as he tired to process your actions. You couldn’t help but laugh a little to yourself as you gave his hand another comforting squeeze while gazing up at him through your long lashes.

“I’m free tomorrow at noon…if that works for you?”

He stood there in bewilderment for a moment or two before frantically nodding his head, not counting on his words in this moment in time. You nodded back before venturing your hand out of his hold and up towards his face to move some of the hair that had fallen over his eyes. He almost quivered at the feeling of your fingers gently touching his hair, silently wanting more though he would never ask.

“I can’t wait.” you admitted gently and quietly, lulling him back into the same enchanting trance he was hit with the moment he caught sight of you for the first time all those months ago.

~ Thanks for reading!

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twilghtkoo · 10 months

Text

ride: first date [part one] jjk

“you nervous?” “yeah.”

summary. you’re first date with jungkook and he’s picking you up on his motorcycle

pairings. biker!jungkook x reader (f)

genres/au. fluff, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, college au

warnings. flirty jungkook, oc and jk touch each other (not sexual), poor attempt at motorcycle knowledge (my fault) T__T, if i missed anything pls lmk!!

word count. 1.6k

notes. first part!! and the beginning of a new series but with jungkook o.o i rly liked this one hehe, pls like and reblog if u enjoyed this !! also did y’all see jungkook’s promotion schedule photo bc W T F

[ series masterpost | masterlist | taglist ]

—

you’re the girl he’s had a crush on since he saw you for the first time in the library on campus. you were wearing grey sweatpants and a random hoodie with your hair tied up in a low ponytail, your glasses framing your face in the most prettiest way. you were frantically typing and writing stuff down on your laptop, and when he had walked over to take a seat next to you— after the pep talk he had with himself— your notes still looked neat and colorful despite your distressed scribbling.

after he had the courage to tap you on the shoulder and start a conversation, you’ve both quickly became friends. it was surprising to see how well you both bonded together. and you’re not usually someone who makes friends so easily, it having to do with your shyness and social anxiety. but jungkook had a charm and such an easy-going personality that drew you in.

you’ve mostly hung out on campus, both of your schedules not aligning in your favors due to exam season. so your hangouts were located in the library most of the time. opting to studying together and just being satisfied basking in each others presence.

around the tenth hangout, jungkook asked you out on a date. you were working on a quiz and he was writing an essay when he slid a piece of paper over to you before he went back to typing on his laptop.

will you go out on a date with me this saturday?

check ☐ yes or ☐ yes :)

you would’ve said yes even if he gave you a ‘no’ option.

a couple days later, before the weekend, he had walked you to the campus’s bus stop and waited with you. you had an evening class and it ended around eight, the blue sky now turning a shade darker as the minutes pass and it made you frown.

“how do you get home? you said you park in parking garage b and that’s across campus. you didn’t have to walk me here, although i really appreciate it.” you said, worried. from the eyes of others, jungkook looks tough, if his tattoos, piercings, fit figure had anything to go by. but you cared about him and it’s natural for you to be worried. anything could happen.

your concerns make him grin, he shoves his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

“i’m okay, promise. and i ride my bike to get places.” he assures you.

you tilt your head, staring at him with curious eyes. “like a motorcycle?”

he nods, holding his small grin when he watches your eyes grow bigger.

you gasp, “really? you own a motorcycle?”

“yup, she’s my baby. got her when i turned 20. she’s precious to me.” he tells you before leaning down next to your ear. “but don’t worry you’re more precious.”

you didn’t have time to respond because your transportation pulls up and jungkook grabs your hand to walk you to the entrance of the bus.

jungkook arrived at your place a bit early but he couldn’t help it. he was excited. he had texted you he was here but told you not to rush.

he’s has never been this nervous in his life since having to tell his mom he wanted to major in computer science and not med school like she wanted. he’s nervous because he’s going on a date with you.

and you’re in your bedroom trying to gather your necessities into your shoulder bag, deciding to take a peek through your window that shows the front of your building and you’re able to see jungkook next to his bike.

he’s not sure how to stand when you walk out your door. should he lean against his bike with his arms crossed? he almost decided to just sit on it but why if he’s going to get off anyways to greet you. should he pretend he’s on his phone until he sees you?

“kook!”

he is shaken out of his internal turmoil when he spots you lightly jogging up to him, a radiant smile lighting up your entire face with warmth and joy.

“sorry, did i make you wait?” she brushes a few strands of hair out of her face, peering up at him with guilt and curiosity with the shiny black bike next to him.

he quickly shakes his head. “no, i wasn’t waiting long. don’t worry.” he assured you.

“you look pretty.” jungkook compliments you, scanning your features with the same grin he had when he had asked you out on a date.

you blush, “thank you, you too. i mean, you look really really handsome.”

his eyes crinkled at the edges and the corners of his lips turned upwards. his lip piercings shining and glaring from the sunlight, almost blinding you.

he notices you staring at his bike with interest.

“you nervous?”

“yeah.” you admit, sheepishly smiling.

you watch as jungkook unzips his leather jacket and sliding it off before he makes his way to you. he helps you slide off your bag before helping you slide your arms in the sleeves. his smell and the soft scent of his cologne makes you feel giddy inside and makes your heart hammer.

“i’ll ride slow, i have precious cargo today.” he responds, zipping the jacket up and grabbing all your hair from out the jacket. an action that makes your heart beat louder out of your chest.

you slide your bag back over your head to rest on your shoulder as you watch jungkook grab the helmet that rested on the back of his bike.

“did the bike come with an extra helmet?” you question, genuinely curious.

he’s careful to not mess up your hair as he slides the helmet over your head, and strapping it on.

he hums before he responds. “no, i bought it yesterday.” he tightens a strap, then asking if it was too tight, you said no.

“you bought it for me?”

“i told you, i have precious cargo. can’t have nothing happen to you.” he finishes making sure your helmet was secured, lightly patting the top of it before he slid his on.

watching jungkook do his thing and putting on his gloves was kind of hot…okay, really hot.

jungkook gets on first, kicking the kick stand off the ground and holds out his gloved hand for you to take. giving your hand a squeeze as he notices your small steps before you climb on behind him. instantly wrapping your arms around his tiny waist, when you tightened your grasp you were able to feel the sculpted muscles underneath his t-shirt. only making you intrigued on what’s hiding beneath the thin cotton fabric.

“hold on to me okay, squeeze me if anything.” he tells you softly, but you know he’s serious.

the sound of his motorcycle coming to life was like a breath of fresh air. in fact, his frequent gentle touches at stop lights were everything calming and you appreciated it.

the light just turned red and jungkook slows down to a stop. your knees rested against his hips as your arms circled his waist, both your hands linked together. he frees his hands from the handle bars to rest on your hands, giving them a squeeze.

and god, you’re very thankful for this helmet that’s hiding your red face and your embarrassingly huge smile.

his hands then roam to your knees then down your shins, patting a rhythm and then running over your denim covered leg soothingly.

is he doing this to make you go crazy? cause it’s working.

you’re not sure if it was the coffee you had this morning or his touches that boosted this sudden confidence but your hands loosened around his hips and gripped them. squeezing where his bare skin ends and you feel the hem of his black jeans.

jungkook places a hand over yours, not letting your hands move anywhere else. he wants yours to stay where it’s at for the moment.

he tilts his head back. “you doing okay?”

you nod, “yeah, you’re a safe driver. five stars.” you joke.

he chuckles at that and the light turns green.

he took you to a dog cafe. not just any dog cafe, but a corgi cafe. you didn’t even know this cafe existed. oh but through the big window in the front of the building, seeing the few corgis you could see, you wanted to burst with excitement.

“you like corgis?” he asks, pointing to the pen that’s in your hand with an acrylic artwork of a corgi at the end. you had bought it at a stationery store a few weeks ago.

your lips curve upward into a small but genuine smile. “yeah, they’re my favorite dogs.”

he smiles with you, mentally storing that information into his brain.

“you haven’t been here before have you?” he asks nervously, helping you off the bike and unstrapping your helmet. he helps you fix your hair and brushes back a few strands.

you shake your head. “no, i didn’t even know a corgi cafe existed here.”

“good, i was worried you’ve already been here.” he holds his hand out for you to take, in which you did.

you’re swaying on your feet unconsciously, switching gazes from the nervous boy and the sight of a freaking corgi cafe in front of you.

but jungkook notices you.

he hums out, “come on pretty, don’t wanna keep you out too late.”

#yeow6n #ride: jungkook series #ride: to first date #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenarios #bts #bts fluff #bts drabble #jungkook drabble series #jungkook drabble #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #bts scenarios #bts x reader #jungkook

933 notes · View notes

mccardswife · 4 months

Text

We've got your back

lionesses x teen!reader

lucy bronze x teen!reader

summary: lionesses x teen!reader, where r struggles with social anxiety and her older teammates support her.

(this was a request, but the request disappeared. but here it is!)

warnings: social anxiety, angst, nightmare, fluff and mentions of panic attack, please remind me if there is more tw! (do not read if you get triggered)

word count: 2826

i hope you like this one, i loved the request and i got really satisfied with the oneshot!

hope you enjoy!

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You zoned out again, probably for the dozen time this week. It is England camp and you know what that means, I love all my england teammates trust me. They are like my family but I have a secret no one knows about, not even my teammates at Arsenal.

I have social anxiety, i feel very ashamed by it. It is so embarrassing that I need to take medications to function, and even when I take them I don't feel like myself.

It was day 2 of england camp. Which means we arrived yesterday. I am roomies with Lucy this camp because Jordan is with her lover (Leah). I love rooming with Lucy, she is like a mother to me. She is very protective but I try keeping my diagnosis a secret from her. Sometimes I even call her mom.

I am 17 now and when i first got called up to the national team I was 15 so the whole team, especially the older girls and Lucy are very protective over me and they helped me when i struggled with panic attacks during my first call ups and my debut for England.

8:00 clock

The alarm went off on Lucy's phone, I did not sleep very well. I had an awful nightmare in the middle of the night, that is all i think about now. I am just so scared that people will judge me for what i say. After conversations with the team last night I regret what i said, you did not say something bad. But you just feel being judged. The most awful feeling in the world.

My mom turned off the alarm and turned to me, I probably looked awful because I slept like shit. "Oh y/nn, are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, just did not sleep very well" I said back. I started walking towards the bathroom exhaustively when she came up behind me and gave me a hug. "You know we are here for you right", she said. I just hugged her back saying "I know mom, i love you" and walked in the bathroom locking the door getting ready.

When I was done I unlocked the door and asked Lucy if she was ready to go down for breakfast. You see, we have two bathrooms. So each one of us has their private bathroom. I totally love it.

When we open our door Jordan and Leah stood there already waiting for us, they have the room beside us and we always walk down for breakfast together.

I have never been so scared before but after my nightmare last night I am really scared now, the only one who knows I have social anxiety is my manager at Arsenal, Jonas Eidevall and my manager at the national team, Sarina Wiegman.

It's an obligation for them to know because mental health is very important and because I take medications everyday. That reminds me, I forgot to take it this morning. Shit.

When we walked into the dining room I was sweating and nervous as crazy. I was shaking non stop and couldn't wait for my breakfast so I could sit down alone in peace. Just thinking.

After getting my food, I decided to eat some and oatmeal today. Because the oatmeal here is hella good.

Anyway I walked towards an empty table when I heard a familiar voice calling my name, I turned around and saw the gaffer, Sarina Wiegman.

Shit

"Y/n, could we talk outside for a minute please?". She asked me with a smile but I could tell the concerning look in her eyes when she saw me fiddling with my fingers anxiously.

"Yes, of course" I said with a shaky voice I think the whole team heard because when me and Sarina walked outside of the room I could see in the corner of my eye Lucy and the other girls watching me with questioning but worried looks.

When me and Sarina got outside she looked me in the eye and asked if something was on my mind. I said no. "Are you sure y/nn?, it is important that we know everything".

"Okay fine, I have been really struggling with nightmares and I had a panic attack a few hours before arriving to England camp yesterday" I said with a shaky voice and tears in my eyes.

"Oh honey, it is okay! Totally okay to have ups and downs, everyone here would support you, which got me asking, does anybody know about your social anxiety? And have you taken your medications today?" she asked...

I looked down in shame, no and no I told her.

"I am really sorry Sarina but it is so hard, I don't want to be judged if I tell the others, and be treated differently.

"Honey, it is very important that you open up, I really think it is time for you to open up, and I promise you that none of the girls will judge you, we all love you and want to support you! You will not get treated differently, everyone has their own struggles, do not feel embarrassed by it", she said to me sternly but very soft.

Which is one of the things I like about Sarina, a brilliant manager but first and foremost a amazing women who cares about every one of us as her kids.

Me and Sarina talked a bit more and she told me that because I have been struggling a lot with my anxiety and sleeping I will not start tomorrow, when we play against Ireland in the euro qualifier at Wembley. Which I totally understand, I need to get my shit together and open up because I hopefully think I will feel much better then. Also feel closer with my teammates, not that I am not close with them. trust me I am but recently I have been shutting down and try to isolate from the others, which they now have realised.

Sarina has some of my medications in her office, incase I forget to bring or take mine so we went to her office and I took them, with disgust. It makes me feel different, I don't like that.

"Y/n, is it not your fault you have social anxiety, okay? Trust me, you are not different, okay. Now you need to go to breakfast before training".

She then gave me a hug and I left her office. Have I told you that I love the hugs Sarina gives, it is probably one of the best hugs ever!

I walked towards the dining room again and looked at my phone and saw that I was with Sarina for almost 20 minutes, now Lucy is probably really worried.

I thought about how I am going to tell the team. I am first going to tell Lucy and some of the veterans on the team.

When I walked inside dining room some of the tables were in a middle of a conversation and did not see me, unfortunately Lucy looked up at the door the second it open.

Lucys pov

Sarina called y/n outside and I would be lying if I said I was not worried. I am sitting with the group I always sit with at England camp, Leah, Keira, Georgia, Rachel, Millie, Jordan, Mary and Beth Mead. I have been worried about y/n for a while, I sat deep in my thoughts thinking about y/n when Rach suddenly asked. "Lucy, you good? You've been sitting spaced out for a while".

"Yes I am ok, i am just a bit worried about the youngster, in other words y/nn". As much as i love her I want what's best for her and I really think she is struggling with something, she always seems scared, nervous and it gives me signs of anxiety".

"Yeah that is actually true" Leah said, "Her being on arsenal me, Beth and Jordan pretty much see y/n everyday and she seems very tense". Millie being the softie she is said "We should probably try talk to her later when she comes back".

"Good idea, I say. "but I can't stop thinking about why Sarina wanted to talk to her".

Keira leaned over to me and whispered in my ear "stop being so nervous love, we will talk to her and support y/nn no matter what".

I just kissed her on the cheek and said thank you.

We sat there eating and making small talk when I looked at the clock, y/n has been away for like 20 minutes now. I am kind of starting to get nervous now

But as I thought of her the door opened and there she walked in deep in her thoughts with a hard look on her face. She picked up her food she got earlier and wanted to sit alone, she walked past us but Jordan grabbed her wrist softly asking "You want to sit with us?, there is an empty chair beside Georgia".

Reader´s pov again

I picked up my food I left on an empty table before I was pulled out to talk with Sarina and was walking towards and empty table, but as I was walking past the table Lucy and the other girls were on I felt a hand grabbing my wrist, softly but suddenly.

it was Jordan

"You want to sit with us?, there is an empty chair beside Georgia".

The table consisted of Lucy, Leah, Keira, Georgia, Rachel, Millie the brick wall Bright, Jordan, Mary and Beth Mead.

Deciding not to be rude I said "Yeah sure", with probably the shakiest voice for the 100th times today. I walked over and sat beside Georgia

Then I felt as I was being watch, I looked every one of them in the eye and I asked if something was wrong.

Lucy for the second time today asked "Are you ok y/nn, all of us are pretty worried about you". Beth said "Yeah, the whole team are and we want to know what's been up with you?, what did Sarina want to talk to you about?.

Leah being the skipper she is, saw you felt a bit overwhelmed with all the questions, "Relax, one question at a time" she said with a soft smile on her face.

I want to open up I thought, but at the same thing I don't.. why does it have to be so hard? Am I going to get judged, I know what Sarina told me but still".

"Babe" Lucy said "What is going on in that pretty mind of yours?".

I felt tears starting to drop and my hands shaking on the table while my foot was bouncing like crazy. When I felt Georgia's hand on my shoulder pulling me in for a side hug I lost it.

"I have social anxiety, i have been diagnosed with it for a few months. Only Jonas and Sarina know. I take medications for it, Sarina know that something has been up with me so she asked me if some of you knew, if I took my meds today, which I forgot so I needed to take them with her.".....

It got quiet for a second and I thought I was going to die for a minute, but Lucy walked over and gave me a hug from behind.

"Why did you not tell us?" Keira asked,

"I am really sorry about that, I felt ashamed. Embarrassed for needing to take meds and not being a fully functional human being. I am not normal, I was afraid of getting treated differently"...

"And that you would secretly judge me" I said in a very low voice but the girls heard.

Millie said to me sternly "You are the best human being a person could ask for, we would never judge you ever. We only want to help, we had our suspicions about it because we saw the signs".

Rachel jumped also in and said "We've got your back babe, you are perfect the way you are, no need to be ashamed of a diagnosis that is not your fault.

Mary being the angel she is said "I kind of know how you feel, when I was at my lowest a few years ago it was hell. but I had the best people who helped me through it and now we want to be the people to help you!"

Gosh how I love all of them, they are so supporting and caring but I was still very scared because I have not told them about my nightmares and panic attacks yet.

Lucy or my so called mum asked because she knows me through and through "Is there something more you want to tell us"

"Yes, but please don't be mad", you said in a begging voice.

"Of course we won't me mad love" Keira said in a reassuring tone.

"The nightmares and panic attacks has come back and it is worse now than ever. I had a nightmare last night, that is why I could not sleep. And I have been heavily struggled with panic attacks and nightmare for a long time, because of my anxiety. A few hours before we travelled to England camp yesterday I had the worst panic attack ever. I got it under control eventually by myself after maybe an hour, but felt uneasy for the rest of the day"

"It is ok not to be ok, but this is serious, we all care and want to help you. It sucks that you have felt this way y/nn" Jordan said with the biggest smile, it looked sad but kind.

"I am really sorry about not telling, but I promise I will be more open but you need to understand it is very difficult for me" I said, "And I am sorry mom, it is not your fault. I know you were asleep when I had the nightmare but I could not bear myself to wake you, I felt embarrassed" I said to Lucy.

Lucy´s pov

"And I am sorry mom, it is not your fault. I know you were asleep when I had the nightmare but I could not bear myself to wake you, I felt embarrassed"

Hearing those words come out of my daughter´s mouth broke me. I tried not to let tears fall but it was impossible now. I am her biggest supporter and I always will be. I just want her to know that

"You are amazing, brilliant, caring, loving and all other kind words I could say! I love you so much my babygirl."

Reader´s pov again

"I love you to mom". I said to Lucy.

Leah said sternly to me "You need to go see a therapist, when we come back at arsenal again we will go twice a week and I will go with you then me, Beth and Jordan can switch who would go with you"

"Seriously?" I groaned.

"Yes", they all said sternly in sync.

"Okay then, but Leah, you, Beth, and Jordan don't need to go with me"

"But we want to" the three of them said gladly.

"Thank you" I said looking down...

"Come here y/nn" Georgia said pulling me in for a hug, I love Georgias hugs.

Every one of the girls gave me a bear crushing hug telling me

"We will always be here for you babe, just call or text or do anything. And we will be there in an eye blink for you! We are so glad you told us, now we just need to tell the others."

"Could we please do it later?" I asked nervously...

"Of course" Rachel said.

"When we are back at arsenal we gotta tell our arsenal teammates too" Beth said.

"I know I know..." I said.

"I will always support you kid, I love you so much and I will always do. You are literally my kid just not official. I would love to be your official mom tho, if you'd have me?" Lucy asked.

I looked at her in utterly shock, and the other girls looked at us in awe.

"Are you serious, please be serious?" I asked with my mouth hanging open.

"Of course, as I said I love you like my own family". Lucy told me with tears

I said loudly "Yes, of course I would want you to adopt me, it kind of feel like you already have tho but still omg".

I started crying again but this time happy tears, while I gave my mom a big hug the girls took a photo of us and gave us a hug.

The perfect group hug.

Little did y/n know that Sarina stood outside watching everything that just had happen, you telling the others about your struggles and Lucy confessing how she feel about you.

Sarina really felt like a proud mom now.

"I am really the best momager ever" Sarina said walking away chuckling with the most heartwarming smile on her face ever.

350 notes · View notes

kangaracha · 2 months

Text

QUEENMAKER | CHAPTER 11

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pairing chan x reader

genre ninth member au, enemies to lovers, angst, fluff, coming of age, social media, cancel culture, anxiety, depression, forbidden love,

summary To JYPE, the solution is simple; take the sole trainee that will not debut with your brand new girl group, and use her to replace the missing vocalist in your male group that insisted on starting as nine.

Unfortunately, to the fans and the members themselves, it isn't that simple.

status ongoing

taglist OPEN

a/n getting kicked out my house this week, got a new job, blah de blah. here's a chapter. oh, and a shameless self promotion, go read my skzflix fic leave? pretty please? it aint my finest work but i promise it's good?

previous | masterlist | next

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The door is already open when you arrive, inviting you inside. Like someone had known exactly when you'd gotten in the elevator, or sensed the moment you stepped foot in their hallway. Or this was just how they lived, the door open to invite each other in and out, though that didn't seem likely. You shut it behind you when you enter anyway, the creak and slam of the heavy door loud enough to alert the occupants of the apartment to your presence.

The sound of Changbin shouting over someone follows, drowning out the noise of the door. Everything is normal, then.

The short hall by the front door is empty except for a pile of scattered shoes - you add yours to the line as you pass through, glimpsing a group of the boys sitting on a couch at the other end. It feels weird to stand there and see them at the other end, the way they've been for years before you came; your empty hands feel awkward, and your feet are too soft against their floorboards, and the closer you get, the more rowdy they become, their eyes so fixed to some game they're playing on the TV that they don't even notice you slipping into the room. You pause for a moment, listening to them howl as their game characters slip off the screen, and then continue on your way to the kitchen, your fingers twisting together restlessly before you.

Chan and Minho are there, sequestered away from the chaos erupting in the other room while they move between the benchtop and the stove, avoiding each other in a way that seems practised. The air is filled with the smell of food cooking, the steam rising from the bubbling pot on the stove warming the air in the small kitchen. Chan turns as he sees you out of the corner of his eye, smiles, and then points back towards the other boys.

"Out," he says, in a voice that brooks no argument; and you'd almost think that you'd broken some rule, except for the grin that eats at his face, amused at himself without even trying.

You stop in the doorway, hovering between the two groups. "I was just going to see if you needed any help," you say.

"Nope," he answers. "You're not allowed in here. Go and sit down."

You pull a face, one that must be funny if Minho glances away, a smile struggling to break through the blank face he's trying to pull. "I already physically kicked Felix out of here," Chan adds, a wooden spoon brandished in the air in warning. "I'll do it to you too."

Your hands come up, your feet backing out of the doorway, and yet, you can't help but laugh. You're feeling...relaxed, here, in a way you haven't since leaving Midnight those two months ago. Maybe it's because you'd spent those months grinding away at what seemed like an insurmountable hill of work, maybe because in the last week, the days that had passed since you'd walked home with Han and Chan, things had suddenly become easier within this group. The reason doesn't matter, you suppose, only that you know now that he's joking, and that it's something you can laugh at. That he's included you in the same joke he's used on Felix.

"Hey, hey, hey," a voice says behind you. "Watch where you're going. You have enough trouble walking forwards."

You turn on your heel, already rolling your eyes at the shit-eating grin on Seungmin's face. Funny, how easy it to fall into cameraderie with him once you've broken the ice between you; only a day ago, it'd still felt like you weren't much more than acquaintances, until you'd made the decision to fall over on the way to their shared vocal lesson, the only thing Seungmin had ever reached out to offer to you.

Well, made the decision is a stretch. Falling over is too. You'd only stumbled over the sidewalk, and you certainly hadn't planned to make a fool of yourself. Maybe the story that Seungmin was selling was so convincing it was starting to affect your memory. He wasn't mean about it at least, for all that he was known to pretend to be mean when the opportunity arose; if anything, the last few hours of him spreading increasingly wild tales and the others relaying them back to you had been fun. Something different than the usual grind of your days, a joke that might stick around longer than the few minutes in which it's being laughed at.

In this moment, you stand up a little bit straighter and hope that your cheeks don't turn red. "I'm great at walking," you posture, and then struggle not to laugh at how preposturous you sound, your lips fighting against you as they curve into a smile. Something to work on, maybe, if you wanted to compete with his and Minho's deadpan humour.

"Except for the part where you hit the concrete," Seungmin says, unaffected by the way your eyes crease and your mouth splits in two. "Then you're really bad at walking."

"I tripped," you insist, and you move forward as if to slide past him to get to the couch that the others sit on. He falls in beside you without hesitation rather than letting you pass by, a ghost at your side. "I wasn't even close to falling."

"Everyone says that you fell though," Seungmin insists. "You think everyone would lie?"

"I think you would lie when you told everyone else the story."

Grinning, Seungmin strides out in front of you, leading the way around the couch so that he can stand right in front of the TV. "Move up," he tells Felix, who sits at the end of the couch, neck craned to watch the game the others are playing around Seungmin.

His eyes slide from Seungmin to you, trying your best to stay out of the way despite having been dragged into mischief. "Y/N," he says, shifting over and patting the seat next to him. "You wanna sit here?"

A smile spreads out across your face. "I do," you reply, and slide past Seungmin to fit yourself in the small space he manages to make beside him. "Thanks."

"You said you would save my seat," Seungmin says, pointing a finger at Felix, who waves him out of the way. He sits on the arm of the chair instead, balancing precariously as he pulls out his phone.

"They kicked you out of the kitchen as well?" Felix asks sympathetically, one eye on the TV and the other on you.

You nod. "I was just going to see if they needed help."

"Yeah," Felix sighs. "I'm not even bad at cooking."

"I'm banned from the knives," Seungmin puts in without looking up.

You glance at him, staring intently at his phone. "Why isn't that surprising?" you question.

"Because he's Seungmin," Felix puts in. "Same way I know he's lying about seeing you fall over."

Seungmin sighs. "I didn't fall," you say, before he can decide which lie to seed this time. "I tripped. I didn't fall."

"It's no fun if none of you believe me," Seungmin grouses.

The game on the TV finishes with a fanfare that fills the whole room, drowned out only by the racous cries of cheating from the boys playing it. The sound makes you wince, leaning away from them; Felix's hands come up to cover his ears, his cry for help also disappearing under the noise they make. You wouldn't be surprised if the neighbours were doing the same thing, or marching towards their door with pitchforks in hand. How do they even have neighbours, when they're capable of noise like that?

"They're going to get complaints again," Seungmin says, like he'd been reading your mind.

"Hey, hey! Hey!" a voice calls over the noise, and you turn in unison to see Chan's head poking out of the door, the wooden spoon waving in his hand once again. "No yelling!"

"I'd say he looks like he's our dad, but he just kind of looks unhinged," Felix comments, only his eyes and the blonde hair that tufts up on top of his head peeking up over the back of the couch. The rest of him has slid down out of Chan's sight, like if he hides, he won't get caught up in whatever trouble the others are causing.

"He looks like my grandfather," Seungmin adds as the older boy disappears, making no effort to hide at all. "He was crazy too."

Felix grins, wild and wolfish. "He just keeps getting older."

"It's so sad he's going to die so soon," Seungmin agrees.

The noise dies down, the game switched back to a more neutral home screen as boys wander off this way and that. Felix shifts over, enough that you can give Seungmin a space on the couch - you think, for a moment, about making him go around to the other side, but Changbin is still sitting there, looking peacefully unbothered by whatever chaos Seungmin is surely capable of unleashing and it's much easier to just shift over and let him slump down in the corner than to set him off. It disturbs Changbin anyway, somehow; as Seungmin sits down, he sits up straight, leaning around Felix to look at you.

"Hey, Y/N," he says, drawing your attention over to him. "Where were you this morning? I didn't see you in the practise rooms."

"She left the room?" Felix questions, turning to stare at you like such a thing is unheard of.

"I was there for three hours," Changbin confirms, "and I didn't see her at all."

"I was tired," you say, trying to ignore the feeling of your cheeks turning red, "so I slept in. And I left the room twice today, actually. I went to a vocal lesson with him."

Seungmin nods as your thumb jabs towards him. "She won't be dancing tomorrow either. She fell over on the concrete."

You don't even think twice about reaching over to push him off the couch. It catches him so off-guard that he actually does fall, sliding right onto the carpet and staring up at you in disbelief. The other boys howl with laughter, loud enough that you glance back at the kitchen door to check if Chan is coming back.

"I'm glad you took the morning off," Felix says warmly, ignoring whatever Seungmin mutters under his breath as he drags himself up off the floor. "We've all been worried about you."

"So I've been told," you say. "I promise, I know what I'm doing."

"I trust you," Felix says, and there's a glint in his eye that says he's telling the truth. It warms you to your core, just as sitting here surrounded by these boys does, and the sound of Minho's voice calling for Seungmin from the kitchen. It's nice, to come into the middle of their group away from the stage or the dance floor and feel like you're just in the midst of friends, somewhere where you belong. It's nice to see how they live. You hadn't let yourself see this before, too tied down to practise and the dream they've achieved that you're still chasing.

"Seungmin-ah! Come and help!" Minho calls again, and then he can be seen at the door, waiting with an unnerving kind of patience. You're not sure if the smile on his face is supposed to be encouraging or threatening, and you don't really want to find out; mostly, you're just kind of glad that he's not calling for you.

Seungmin isn't bothered by it, dragging himself off the couch with a sigh that reverberates through the room. "Coming, old man," he calls across the room, and ignores the double take that Felix does beside you, his eyes growing wide.

"Ai-e," Changbin says, the sound whistling through his teeth. "Is he crazy?"

"You want to go in the oven?" Minho questions as Seungmin crosses the room.

"You'd have to get me in it first," Seungmin says, and then yelps as Minho's arm wraps around his neck, dragging him into the kitchen in a headlock.

"He's going to die," Felix says gleefully.

"Winning the bet was not worth it," you agree, your eyes still on the empty doorway to the kitchen. No one emerges except Chan, holding a pot of whatever they've cooked for dinner and looking disturbingly peaceful despite the chaos he has just left behind.

TAGLIST

@kokinu09 @rainfallingfromthesky @lixie-phoria @mysweethannie @chlodavids @hanniemylovelyquokka @tfshouldidohere @lauraliisa @puppysmileseungmin @kalopsian-thoughts @puppy-minnie @readerofallthingss @dvbkie099 @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @acker-night @d-chagi @lynlyndoll @borahae-reads @ihrtlix @yienmarkk @minhwa @i2innie @jinnie-ret @conwunder @amesification @starssongs98 @weirdhumanbeinglol @morinuu @the-weird-mold-in-the-sink @bokkiesplace @amyyscorner @jiisungllvr @skzstaykatsy @blackhairandbangs @jungkookies1002 @hyuuukais @imsiriuslyreal @thatonedemigodfromseoul @gini143 @mercurywritesstuff @splat00z @filmbypsh @palindrome969 @crabrangoongirl25 @enzos-shit @jabmastersupriseee @kayleefriedchicken @slutfortits @duhgurl @cheshireshiya @worcesheshestershiresauce @defnotfertilizedtoesw @rensahazard @greyyeti

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heerinnie · 7 months

Text

U are my high.

PART 1 | PART 2 (not proofread)

SYNOPSIS: Jake has always been your and Sunghoon’s best friend. Just the three of you against the world with the strongest bond you’ve ever had, your soulmate, partner in crime, crush and brother’s closest friend. Could there be a chance you were something more? And if you were, would you risk the 7 years of friendship you shared and break the trust of your dear brother?

WARNINGS: fratboy!Jake, reader refers to Jake as Jae Jaeyun and Jake, mentions of masturbating, Jake’s a borderline perv, angst, weed, drinking, friends to lovers, making out, cliffhanger ending.

WC: Around 4k

GUIDE: text like this = flashback, text like this = incoming smut

(open) TAGLIST: @onlyjaeyun

The hours of the day passed like minutes as the anxiety of the party you were going to attend crept up your spine. It’s not like you were scared or uncomfortable, in fact you felt as comfortable as could be because the reassuring presence of your best friend of 7 years.

Growing up with an older brother meant his best friends were almost always over and eventually as some time passed those friends became some of your closest companions. Especially Jake, you were the closest to him out of everyone, he was the Park sibling favourite. Growing up with Jaeyun you witnessed him go from a nerdy quiet 14 year old to a a popular frat boy everyone dreamed of but throughout that growth he was always just Jaeyun or Jae to you and nothing could change that, every year was the same but this year. This year was different, every day at school you see his smile light up like a bright sun which has always made you weak in the knees giving you a butterfly rampage in your stomach. Each evening you find yourself laying facing your wall like some sort of kid making stupid noises while scrolling through his endless archive of photos on instagram. Worst thing about this crush was that he was feeding into your delusions like an idol giving out fan service. His eyes were always on you, your DMs were pinned to the top of his socials, he even had you as his wallpaper even though it was just a candid picture of you and Sunghoon that he took. You would never risk asking him to be yours so all the slight touches and knee buckling whispers you shared were meaningless. The possessiveness in you made you feel sick about the thought of tipsy and almost drunk girls dangling off of Jake’s shoulder like cheap jewellery knowing all they wanted was just to get in his bed for one night. It was selfish, you were selfish. You knew he’d only want to make sure they arrived home safely and kindly brushing off their sexual gestures like the gentleman he was but inside of you there was always a lingering feeling of disappointment and fear when his big puppy like eyes left yours. It’s called being an attention whore. You thought he felt like he was still a big brother to you and you’re nothing but a his best mate’s little sister he had to babysit, that’s all you were ever going to be Sunghoon’s cool little sister.

Your body reflected in the mirror Jae helped you put up, whilst examining the outfit you had on a far memory of the moving day popped up in you head remember how Jae helped you and Sunghoon move in to your shared apartment far from your parents and how your luck that day was nonexistent, it was a smooth ride until you a dropped a box full of clothes in front of him exposing the smallest pairs of underwear and mini dresses you owned right at jaehyun’s feet. In that box was the dress you were wearing tonight, a simple short black dress that rose just above your knees with lace cutouts accentuating your curves, with the failure of the last party you and your crew attended you decided to go all out and wear the sluttiest piece of clothing you owned to catch a certain someone’s attention, all types of thoughts blared in your head of how the night could potentially go until you hear a voice snap you out of your thoughts,

“You look like a statue” you heard his accented voice tell you,

“What?” Your body finally turned around to look the man in his eyes, you read his expression yet you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. His gaze churned with a look of shock and disbelief, jaw dropping and eyes widening at the sight of your outfit,

“What.” You asked again, this time with a hint of insecurity lacing your tone thinking the outfit you chose made you look unflattering when it was the complete opposite. You would never care what anyone especially a guy would think of you and your style choices and yet you always wanted Jake’s approval.

“Why are you so fucking pale?” you sighed at his words, hoping to calm down your nerves and heart rate before you collapse with his intense look still lingering on you. What a strange reaction to seeing your best friend all dolled up.

“Oh I don’t know Jaeyun” your voice retorted, ‘’maybe it’s because you look like you just saw a ghost-”

“Woah don’t pull out the government name” he fake sulked pulling his hands up to his chest covering his dramatically wounded heart letting his expression default to his normal cheery self after a while.

“I didn’t even say anything no need to bark at me” his amused voice echoed through your head as his eyebrows cocked up,

“I would never bark for or at you Mr Sim” the fabric of his dress shirt burned your fingertips as you poked the older male to tease him for his previous statement. You didn’t even know what was going through you at this point, you were best friends for 7 years along with your brother, the three of you were like family so it just felt so wrong and disturbing to all of a sudden have these sort of thoughts and feelings for someone sunghoon claimed to be his ‘brother from another mother’. It’s just a tiny crush and that was the most you’d ever admit. As far as you knew both you and Hoon were in love with him but in two completely different ways, he had so much platonic love and admiration for him yet you just wanted to climb onto of him and make him yours, you obviously never really did anything about your strange attraction because you never dared break the line between your brother and your his best friend.

“My empathy senses are tingling, what’s wrong?” His bigger hand clutched your pointer finger and moves it away from his chest letting his finger tips linger on you for a little longer than necessary.

“Nothing...” that’s a lie something really was wrong and you knew it because every time he touched you you felt a spark go down your spine and your head get a little dazed. Even at the most minuscule and innocent touches you wanted to lose your cool and scream like a banshee. Not wanting to push you out of your comfort zone he dropped the topic and started leading you out of the bedroom towards the main entrance where everyone else including your brother had gathered.

“Y/nnie... you look beautiful tonight” you were met with a hug from heeseung the oldest of the bunch. Heeseung was the most lightweight person you knew since everyone around you were slightly tipsy whilst seung was already giggling to himself after the 3 pre-party drinks he shared with the crew. You gave the oldest a pursed lipped smile and a small laugh imagining the chaos that would unfold once the party was in its peak. Meanwhile, Jake’s eyes never left your face again trying to read your mind and ignore his own feelings of jealousy igniting.

“I’m gonna steal Miss Park for a second if that’s fine with you” his hand tugged on your arm leading you away from the group before anyone could protest, you heard Hoon shout something about no funny business after you and Jake left the group yet you paid it no attention. You didn't need Jake's words to guide you as you followed him towards the empty living room like a lovesick puppy, he practically dragged you there like a marionette.

“Alright, tell me.” The words left his mouth after hiding behind a door to the next room leaving the group stranded in the hallway,

"Nothing I'm fine" you shrugged him off lightly trying to smile as genuinely as you could,

"Y/n come on, stop drowning and wallowing in self pity, I know somethings wrong and I’m not gonna let it ruin ou- your night" his words genuine and eyes were sincere.

“If it’s about last time then I’m still sorry, I’ll apologise as many times as I have to” you felt yourself cringe at the memory of the last party you two attended.

“For goodness sake don’t bring that up, please just leave that in the past!” You hissed out the words through your gritted teeth letting Jake know it’s still a sensitive topic. Another reason for your random mood drop was the agonising memories of the last party you attended alone with Jake.

—

He wouldn’t stop talking and laughing with the most gorgeous girl you’ve ever seen paying you little to no attention leaving you wandering thought the packed house alone. Manoeuvring thought sweaty dancing bodies until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You caught a glimpse of a grinning smile you recognised somewhere but your drunken eyes couldn’t recognise who it was until you heard him ask you to dance. You almost immediately recognised Nicholas agreeing to dance with him. Your idgaf mentality snuck up on you as you felt your hips push with his, you were as they say dancing without leaving space for Jesus. The alcohol infiltrating your veins blurred your mind as you look up at Nicholas realising just how attractive he is and to get your mind off Jake and his walking talking one night stand you made a move. You felt his plush lips press on yours igniting a flame only Jake has ever set afire, his sharp eyes darkened as he pulled you aside to an empty room letting you continue what you started. All was going well, Jake and that bimbo were out of your subconscious and you were getting all hot and bothered with a beautiful man letting his hands roam all over your barley covered body feeling a pool of arousal build as his explored your mouth. His deeper than usual voice asking you if you really wanted to do this you purred out a response telling him that you’re up for it it he is. His soft hands tracing up your thighs as all the space between you was gone, but of course you can’t have one peaceful night in your life and Jake and the devil herself stumbled in the room almost eating each others faces. It took no time for Jake to realise the situation and he pushed the girl off of him and landed his palm on his neck thinking of something to say and yet no words came out.

Embarrassed, angry and disappointed you let your body run out of the room leaving Nicholas and Jake exchanging looks, one of embarrassment and awkwardness and the other of pure rage and shock.

Never in your life have you wanted two guys to fight over you. Well that’s a lie, you did but not like this. Not in a public place surrounded by people you know and that are actively in your social circle but that didn’t stop from Nicholas and jake rushing after you.

“Wait!” One of them called out after you, it didn’t matter who it was you just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. It didn’t take long for them to catch up with you as you stood outside the building trying to catch a breathe after suffocating inside for what felt like hours. Jake approached you pushing Nicholas out of the way. It only took a few seconds for your rage to build up and push Jake away from your body and your intoxicated body stumbling from your own impact,

“You dick.” Your emotionless voice whispered, Jakes hurt voice mumbled a quiet what to your reaction,

“You Sim Jaeyun are the biggest dick I’ve ever met, you’re fucking unbelievable” you slurred out louder than before watching as Jake’s face twisted into a pained expression mirroring the same one he pulled a few hours before in the safety of your own rooms. Before Jake could reply you started walking off feeling like you were about to vomit from all the emotions you felt,

"Wai-" he called out again attempting to take off going after you until Nicholas blocked you out of his way,

“Not now dude” nicho defended you trying to give you space like a good friend he was. You were still walking not caring about the tears pouring down your cheeks. You stopped abruptly when you heard the sound of a punch, pulling you back towards the entrance of the party where Jake stood pulling the boy by his collar. The sight knocked wind out of your lungs as you rushed back to Nicholas’ side watching as a small trail of blood slid from his nose. That was enough for you to turn around and slap your brother’s best friend straight in the face,

“You ignore me for majority of the party, you start trying to fuck that girl inches away from me and then you let me leave ALONE in a house full of drunk dudes that smells like booze and weed” you got closer to his face poking your finger on his chest making him back up a little.

“Then once I finally find a nice guy you and your leech interrupt the only part of the night i would’ve enjoyed and now what you punch him in him face for stepping up for me?” You let out a dry laugh of disbelief not wanting to believe that someone you called your best friend would do that. Why couldn't he just get it over with right now, like ripping off a bandaid and tell you now. Tell you how you drive him to insanity, why couldn't he be honest with his own desires? If only you knew he wouldn't let anyone hurt you, letting the mixture of alcohol and his shame of wanting to forget you get the worst of him.

“You are such a pussy, I genuinely can’t even look at you right now Jake!” Your voice raising in anger before you delivered the final blow,

“What would Sunghoon think? Hm?” The humiliation that rested with the name of your brother broke his mind, reminiscing over the nights when he did all those things behind Hoon’s back letting himself give in to the temptation you brought along.

“What would MY brother think of you when he find out you left your only responsibility of the night to get some pussy? That you’re too busy being a man whore for a girl who’s name you don’t know and will probably never speak to again, making her your priority”.

You’ve never seen Jake cry before so the sight of tears welling up in his eyes made your heart swell with an inexplainable ache never in your 7 years of friendship have you seen Jake let out a tear whatsoever unleash a tsunami of emotion, never did you expect that at some point in your life you'd have to witness the real Jake instead of the usually happy faced guy who never shows his pain or sadness to you. It was then when you realised the real problem was not you wanting him, the problem was something much deeper and serious since the Jake you knew would never let you down like this.

“Honestly Jake, you’re lucky she ran into me and not some dude that would do fuck all to her” and with that you left with Nicholas driving you back home promising yourself you’ll never attend a party after that at least not with Jake.

—

It took weeks for Jake to get back onto your and Hoon’s radar after days and days of ignoring his texts. You wanted to talk to him but you felt so ashamed and hurt you couldn’t look at him, but now that was all in the past. Both you and Sunghoon forgave him sooner than later not wanting to waste the beautiful 7 years you held together over a girl and Jake’s raging hormones.

After what felt like forever Jake finally snapped you back into reality with his hand on your shoulder,

“I promise I won’t leave you again.” His voice whispered into your ear as he let his body swallow you into a hug.

“I’ll be stuck to you like glue until you tell me to piss off” you finally let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding in until he started tracing circles on your neck. Sim Jaeyun will be the death of you one day.

After that whole moment, you felt relief as you walked back into the hallway getting ready to leave not noticing the glances of suspicion jay, hoon and sunoo exchanged at your return.

The ride to the party was short and loud as you were squished between heeseung and Jake. You loved the little crew of friends you acquired but damn were they loud, you were sort of glad that they were though because all that noise the boys were producing interrupted the voice of anxiety that’s been marinating in the back of your mind since the morning.

Once you arrived at the house , you could hear music blaring from inside the house along with yells and laughter from people doing dumb shit for the fun of it, this was exactly what you were hoping for.

“Do you have any idea how much effort I went through to not smell like weed?” you you heard a shout form the other side of the door eventually locking eyes with the culprit. Yeonjun rushed over welcoming his friends with open arms, it was no doubt that yeonjun threw the best monthly parties ever, like the ones you see in euphoria or project x and being a music major himself he always had the best playlists to drink and dance to.

Another skill of his was decorating his beautifully prestigious home into a total party house, your gaze lingered on the designed windows showcasing the large backyard where the rest of the party was going down. His excuse for throwing another massive party was that it was someone birthday, who’s? A random man he met outside of a shop the day before, it wasn’t even known if the birthday boy was there himself but that didn’t stop him from celebrating the dudes birth. You were more than grateful that you had friends that you could fuck around with and forget the mundanity of being a student with a 9/5 job.

The environment of the house changed completely when you entered the backyard, whilst yeonjun may have claimed he just put some tables and chairs out, he totally went above and beyond. He placed strings of fairy lights from the ceiling of patio to the railings of the pool umbrellas. Everyone was dancing enjoying their night with a few faces you’ve never seen before but before you could leave and socialise Jake jogged to you bringing over some drinks he got from the liquor table claiming it’s yeonjun’s magic party elixir.

You doubted that yeonjun actually knew how to make a ‘magic potion’ but knowing him and his ways of labelling things you weren’t complaining as the beverage tasted heavenly.

As you watched everyone move you couldn’t help but felt Jake’s arm slither around your waist pulling you closer his the warmth of his body. You could smell the sweet aroma of his coconut scented body wash and cologne you gifted him as an anniversary gift celebrating the past couple years you’ve spent with him.

“You seem bored, are you?” his honey voice whispered into your ear whilst the clutch on your side tightened,

“Wanna go somewhere else? I know a place here that you’d appreciate” your eyes moved to the sight of Jake’s half bitten lip trying to analyse his body language to get a hint of if tonight was the night you’d cross the line of your friendship and the boundary hoon set up between you and his best friends. A slight smirk formed on your face as you felt his hand shift from your waist to your palm leading you upstairs not noticing the pair of eyes watching the scene quietly unfold.

You reached the top of the stairs you stopped and looked around feeling a sense of dejà vu looking at the pictures of your friend group with yeonjun from previous parties plastered on the walls. Strangely enough there wasn’t a picture of party you last attended, maybe it wasn’t just you that had a bad experience that night.

Once you made it past the door of the room you saw a balcony that Jake stopped infront of locking his eyes with yours, making you feel small and comfortable under his watch. With one swift movement the balcony door flew open revealing a string of fairy lights wrapped around rusting railing casting warm colours contrasting the browns and grays of the aging metal. The view of the car littered driveway ignited a feeling of peace, a feeling of relaxation and happiness as the cool night breeze hit your legs making you shiver.

“What would you say if you and me went somewhere beyond whatever we have right now?” Jake’s body pressed onto the railing letting his shoulders relax,

“Jake, are you trying to flirt with me?”

“I mean…” his shoulders lifted into a shrug,

“I guess I’ve been trying for the last 3 years” you definitely misheard what he said.

“Sorry?” Your breathy voice questioned the confession,

“For years I needed you, in secrecy and silence…” Jake let his head drop to his chest as the words carelessly left his thoughts. The Shakespearean words that left his mouth gave you a feeling of unease as anxiety consumed both you and him at the reaction of his best friend and your brother finding out about the nature of the situation you pushed yourself into. His mind travelled back to the memory of the night you fought and for a moment everything seemed scarily surreal. No matter how hard he tried it seemed nearly impossible to keep it together. The guilt of staying up all night to talk to you long after Hoon went to sleep only to hang up at 3am and try to ignore the aching tent in his pants. The dishonour of having to look his best friend in the eyes a couple hours after having perverted dreams about his younger sister.

“Please… say something” The self loathing broke through his words causing you to look away for a moment before snapping back to situation,

"You wanted me for years but kept quiet about it?"

"Yes" His face fell under the glow,

“Why are you telling me now?” You've known Jake for 7 years now and in almost half the time he was always fighting against his attraction towards you. The teasing has been endless as well as the flirting that seemed meaningless but now you see it in a different light than before.

He always told himself to be strong and stay away from you because of what would happen if anyone found out about this, the rumours that might surface since he didn’t necessarily have the best reputation, how much it would hurt Hoon, especially when he promised to take care of his only sibling. You both knew each other well, hell you two even got changed in the same room but no matter how many times he promised himself to take things slow and move on you always stumbled in pushed him to his limit. Why did it take so long? Why did his thought spill like water out of a tap?

"Because it's been too long”

his body now taking baby steps towards your upright and stiff body. A glint of hunger lacing his bittersweet words, it was never supposed to go this far. Jake gave up on girls when he met you and swore off having a relationship because no girl compared to you choosing to temporarily live a life without real intimacy since you were off limits. You don't understand why he was so honest to you after years of masking and hiding and maybe you would’ve found out right then and there if it wasn’t for the intrusive knock on the bedroom door behind you. Jake jumped away from you to open the door only to see the same eyes that pierced your back when you escaped upstairs with Jake.

I did it! I finally finished this fix that I was supposed to post like 2 months ago. Now you’re just gonna have to wait for me to write part 2 😚 (it will probably be here in like 2 weeks or smth since I’m back from my writing vacation). I kinda rushed the end and if you didn’t understand what the text in italics meant it was a flashback to the party accident that caused y/n to feel anxious about that party. I’ll also mention that English isn’t my first language so if there are errors please just let your inner voice autocorrect it.

Reblogs and feedback is always welcome here since I love seeing what you guys have to say or just seeing your reactions, stay safe ily 💟💟

-Rinnie <3

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heesdreamer · 1 year

Note

could you pleasseee write something for the trend “but does he know you call me when he sleeps”

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader (jake x reader are together initially)

WC ➩ 8k

WARNINGS ➩ jake is a terrible boyfriend and reader cheats on him with heeseung. smut… like really smut (popping my full smut cherry)

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ um i don’t usually write fluffy stuff especially sexually so sorry if it’s terrible i wrote this from 6am to 10am randomly and it’s not proofread… here’s the song from the trend if you’re curious

The party was crammed and sweaty, evident by the way your dress was sticking to your back as you tried to navigate your way through the crowd of people and get to the kitchen.

When you eventually made it there your gaze immediately went to your boyfriend Jake, he was standing laughing with a few of his friends you recognized from picking him up from football practice. You’d seen them on the field a few times, having called out mocking comments every once in a while as you dragged him away from the bleachers.

You were sliding in next to him and he wasn’t sparing you a glance, too caught up in his conversation to realize his girlfriend had arrived and was looking noticeably flustered.

Despite him not paying any attention to you, somebody was and you flushed as you awkwardly looked away from the deep stare one of Jake’s friends was giving you. He wasn’t on the team but you knew him more than the others, being your boyfriends best friend over everybody else.

You wrapped your hand around Jake’s arm and leaned into him, finally getting his attention as he shot you a quick glance and raised a dismissive eyebrow before continuing on talking to the others.

Your throat burned like you were about to cry but you ignored it, not wanting to cause a scene or embarrass yourself in front of the unrelenting eyes of teenage boys. Shifting uncomfortably, you waited for him to finish as you willed the anxiety to go away.

It was Jake’s idea to attend the party in the first place despite you telling him you weren’t feeling up to it this weekend. You were stressed from exams and work, not to mention your stomach had been upset for days and you felt disgusting as you squeezed into a tight dress and heels to appease him.

Jake hadn’t always been a bad boyfriend, in fact when you had started dating at the beginning of high school he was an absolute angel in human form.

You loved him more than anything but you couldn’t deny the changes in his personality as years went on and his social circle changed. He was less focused on you and your relationship, harsher when you fought and even more dismissive towards his parents and random store workers you’d encounter out on dates, leaving you to usher apologies and follow your boyfriend out of restaurants and stores.

Heeseung, your boyfriends best friend who was currently sipping out of his red cup and watching you with low eyes, had been Jake’s friend before you met him even and sometimes you wondered if he ever felt the same way you did.

At times you wanted to ask the older boy, question him on if he was upset Jake had gotten new ruder friends and started to leave the two of you behind, demand to know if you were being dramatic or if your feelings were justified.

You never did however in fear of it getting back to Jake and upsetting him, plus the fact you rarely spoke to Heeseung lately outside of group hangouts and casual greetings.

20 minutes had passed now in the kitchen, making it two hours over the time Jake had assured you he’d have you home. You were fidgeting against his side constantly and he turned to glare at you, momentarily stopping in his rants and conversation.

“Go wait in the car.” He was muttering and handing you the keys without another word. You stood frozen in shock for a few seconds before tears of embarrassment welled up and you were turning and rushing out of the kitchen.

You felt completely humiliated considering the fact he had practically talked to you like a dog in front of his friends who already didn’t respect you, seeing you as a nagging girlfriend who took up too much of their friends precious time. You weren’t out of the house yet, barely passing through the living room, when a hand was grabbing your arm and spinning you around.

You yelped softly as you were pulled into a dimly lit hallway and you felt your back bit the wall behind you, glancing up to see who had tugged you away from your exit.

Your eyes were widening as you realized it was Heeseung, standing oddly close to you as he peered down with hooded eyes. Jake was taller than you but Heeseung even towered over him, making your height difference almost comical. You shifted against the wall awkwardly and looked up at him through your eyelashes.

“You’re leaving?” He was speaking in a hushed tone, voice low and slow as he watched you. He wasn’t pinning you against the wall fully but you’d have to scoot past him if you wanted to leave, almost toe to toe with the taller boy.

“I mean… you heard what he said.” You were flushing again, still embarrassed at how dismissive Jake had spoken to you. You shook your head and looked down at the floor instead of saying anything else.

Heeseung was reaching a hand up and touching your face softly, a soft gasp coming from your lips at the feeling of his fingers on your chin as he slowly brought your head back up to look at him again. You’d never touched him before outside of small side hugs of greetings or brief contact when passing him something.

Your eyes were shooting back towards the party with panic, worried what somebody would think if they saw you and your boyfriends best friend only inches away with his hand holding your face like you were something delicate and precious.

“He’ll be busy for a while.” Heeseung’s voice was somehow lower than it had been the first time he spoke as he halfway guessed what you were thinking, turning your head to the side softly.

“What are you doing?” You were breathing out the words in confusion, peering up at him with wide eyes as his thumb moved softly on your skin. He seemed unaffected by his own strange actions but you didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched every time you spoke to him in such a soft voice.

He was leaning towards you more and you pressed against the wall harder, if that was even possible. You could feel his hip bumping you now and his forehead was coming down to rest against yours, swallowing heavily at how close he was getting.

“Heeseung.” You were whispering, head spinning from the range of emotions you’d been put through in such a short time.

His eyes were squeezing shut as you said his name, a slightly pained look on his face as he pulled back and shook his head. You took in a deep breath now that he wasn’t touching you anymore but he was still closer to you than he’d ever been and you felt flips of nervousness underneath all the confusion.

“Let me drive you home.” He was saying eventually once he regained his composure and you raised an eyebrow. “More guys from the team showed up, you’ll just be sitting in the car.”

“Won’t that look weird? If I leave with you?” You were whispering back to him and he sucked in a slightly frustrated breath, wanting to help you out of your shitty situation.

Heeseung stayed silent for a second and you felt guilty for not immediately accepting his kind offer but you couldn’t help but think about how your boyfriend would react to the inevitable whisper that would get back to him, announcing you’d left the part with his best friend.

For a half a second you wondered if he’d care at all, not the same protective and caring boyfriend he had been a few years ago. Maybe he would be relieved that you weren’t his problem for the night anymore and he got to stay out as long as he pleased.

You were just about to accept Heeseung’s offer, the thought of the second scenario making your stomach turn more with desperation to leave, but he was suddenly stepping away from you completely and nodding his head.

He didn’t say anything else, not looking upset at you despite giving you a long stare that was full of guilt and something else you couldn’t quite place at the time. You watched him as he returned back to the party, sliding down the wall and sinking to the floor once he was turning the corner and out of sight.

——

You’d spent the whole day at work the next Monday thinking about what had happened, confused and guilty considering you hadn’t necessarily told the boy to get away from you.

It wasn’t like you’d never considered the fact that Heeseung was attractive. You’d actually met him before Jake, sitting next to him in a club you both had joined and striking up a smile filled conversation before your now boyfriend was stumbling into the classroom and demanding that they hurry to the cafeteria.

Heeseung had given you a sorry smile and made you a promise you’d still show up to the club next week despite his early exit, a handsome smirk on his face when you nodded earnestly at the idea of seeing him again.

And you did see him again, every single week you sat next to each other and talked about everything you could think of.

At some point you’d started to hang out outside the classroom and school as a whole, and that’s where you had officially met his friend that interrupted your first ever conversation all those months ago.

Jake had immediately been infatuated with you, always trying to steal your attention from his friend and openly flirting with you in a way you’d never experienced before. You’d never had a boyfriend or such a passionate suitor and eventually you and Jake started to hang out one on one.

Only once or twice had you considered the possibility that Heeseung had liked you too, retreating when he realized how his best friend seemed to feel about you.

You considered it late in bed some nights and then you would roll over and bury your face in your pillow, guilt eating away at you considering how much you loved your boyfriend and were happy together, at least at the time.

It’d been a few years since you’d thought about Heeseung as anything other than Jake’s friend and now you were getting that sick guilty feeling again as you remembered the way he had held your chin and looked down at you with such affection.

The sick feeling stayed as you finished work and made your way back to Jake’s apartment. You stayed there more than you did at the dorms and it was sort of an unspoken arrangement that you’d come there throughout the week, feeling perfectly at home as you used your own key to unlock the front door.

You immediately froze as you crossed into the threshold and your eyes fell on the boy on the couch, lazily sprawled across it as he watched TV with an uninterested gaze.

It wasn’t a rare sight for Heeseung to be there, almost constant at this point other than weekends but considering you’d spent the entire day thinking about him, you were slightly thrown off to see him in person.

His eyes were going over to you at the sound of the door creaking open and he smirked softly at your frozen frame, knowing exactly what you were thinking as you looked at him from the doorway.

“That you babe?” Jake was calling from somewhere down the hallway and you vaguely processed the fact the shower was running in the distance. You shifted awkwardly in place and closed the door behind you.

“Is it babe?” Heeseung was speaking now in a slightly mocking tone and you flushed bright red, glaring at him and storming past him towards your boyfriends room.

You were suddenly upset at him rather than feeling guilty, understanding that as much as you were Jake’s girlfriend, he was his best friend and the one to initiate the contact with you in the first place. He didn’t say anything as you stomped down the hallway to set your stuff down and he still didn’t speak when you were returning to the living room with crossed arms and a huffy expression.

He raised an eyebrow at you and lazily reached over to grab the remote and turn the TV off.

“What the fuck was that?” You rushed out, keeping your tone low in case Jake could somehow hear you over the loud sounds of the shower and his speaker playing his usual washing up playlist.

For a second you expected Heeseung to ignore you considering how long he took to respond but then he was surprising you and standing from the couch, immediately towering over you as you lost your resolve and uncrossed your arms.

He was taking a few steps in your direction and your mouth parted in surprise at the fact he was almost as close to you as he had been the night before, this time in an even more risky place considering Jake was only a few feet away and not the type of shower for longer than necessary.

“What if I said I was drunk?” He was whispering and peering down at you, gaze heavy and dark as you looked up at him.

You thought for a second before shaking your head at him and looking down at the floor for a second as you gathered your nerves enough to speak. “You weren’t I… I could smell your breath.”

He nodded at your words, a gentle look on his face despite the intensity of his stare and you felt his hand coming again. This time it stopped on your arm, running the tips of his fingers up and down in slight trails that caused you to take a breath and shiver.

“What if I told you I hate the way he treats you.” He was still whispering but he sounded more sure of himself now and you felt your heart drop and he confirmed what his intentions were. “That it drives me crazy knowing I let him have you just for him to take it for granted.”

You were shaking your head and gasping slightly, your hands coming up to try and take his touch away from you. He stopped you and held your arms gently by your elbows, leaving you to touch his biceps as you took a step backwards.

“Don’t say that.” You were rushing out in a hissed whisper, although your face lacked any anger as you looked at him with big sad eyes. “I love him.”

“He doesn’t love you.” He was immediately countering, almost like he didn’t mean to say it and your face was crumbling. Tears welled up in your eyes and he was quickly letting go of your arms so he could cup your face as he desperately kept talking. “I’m sorry Y/N but no one else is going to tell you and I can’t do this anymore. It’s impossible to be around you.”

He was softly rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs and tilting your face up so you could look at him, leaning in closer as he watched you with a guilty expression.

It was too close and your heart was beating as it also broke at the confirmation that Jake wasn’t in love with you anymore. You had suspected it due to his behavior obviously but hearing it made you feel lightheaded, especially coming from the person he’d trust the most with that information.

Heeseung was leaning down and you could just barely feel his lips grazing over yours before you were pushing him away, snapping out of it and touching your mouth in panic with wide eyes. He stumbled back a few feet and looked at you with a hurt expression but nodded softly and didn’t try to approach you again.

The timing was in your favor considering only a few seconds later the shower was turning off and Jake was stepping out into the hallway with a towel around his waist, eyeing the two of you standing in the center of the room weirdly before asking why the TV had been turned off.

——

The following weekend you officially declined Jake’s offer to attend another party. You almost always did despite never wanting to and he tried to convince you like he did every single time, normally getting you to consign after a few pleads.

He seemed particularly agitated when you put your foot down and told him that under no circumstances would you be going and you hoped he’d have fun without you. He angrily responded that he would before hanging up the phone and leaving you to lay on your bed with the silence of your actions.

It’d been a week since Heeseung had almost kissed you and you’d been feeling the ghost of his touch every night since, along with the weight of what he had told you about your boyfriend.

You hadn’t mentioned it to anybody, especially not Jake but you couldn’t stop considering the possibilities of what this could mean for you. Jake liked having a girlfriend as far as you knew, somebody on his arm at parties and to appease his parents for the holidays, so you didn’t necessarily think he’d break up with you any time soon.

Maybe that’s what Heeseung had meant when he said nobody else was going to tell you and you wondered how many people knew how loveless your relationship was.

You’d been thinking yourself to death ever since the conversation happened and you were reaching your breaking point, eyes welling up with tears as your chest got tight and restricted. You shook your head and picked your phone up off your chest before you could think about it twice.

The call was picked up on the second ring and you could hear the loud sounds of music and laughter, an active party going on around the person on the other line and you immediately felt guilty for what you were about to say.

“Y/N?” Heeseung’s low voice sounded even deeper over the phone and you squeezed your eyes shut in nervousness. “You okay? Are you there?”

You didn’t say anything for a few seconds as you listened to the sound of his breathing, trying to sync yours and calm yourself down enough to be able to respond to him. You wondered if he could hear your stuttered gasp and inhales.

“Can you come over?” You eventually forced out in a tight voice, breaking into a small sob mid sentence that made his heart sink to his stomach.

At the party he was turning away from Jake so he could hear you better, watching as he laughed and leaned closer and closer to a girl that was on your rival schools cheerleading team. He was seconds from breaking them up or storming out before you had called and your boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye when he heard your name accidentally slip from his friends mouth in a worried tone.

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

——

You had only lasted about 30 seconds after hanging up the phone before you were eaten alive with guilt and crying even harder.

For a second you questioned why you hadn’t even attempted to call Jake first, you knew he wouldn’t have answered you and if he did he certainly wouldn’t have left the party he’d just arrived to a few hours prior but it made you sick that you hadn’t even considered trying him before you instinctively were pressing Heeseung’s contact.

Not long after there was urgent knocks at your door, followed by softer ones immediately after that would’ve made you laugh if you weren’t so upset. You were standing and opening the door to see a flustered Heeseung standing there.

“I was worried you fell asleep.” He was explaining his secondary knock and you just nodded, scanning his outfit.

He looked nice always but you realized you liked him best when he got ready for parties. He really knew how to dress himself and it was always interesting to see him after he carefully parted his hair, showing off his newly shaven undercut.

You felt out of place considering you were wearing pajama shorts and a large T-shirt that could potentially have been Jake’s in high school although you’d been using it as a sleep shirt for so long it definitely belonged to you now.

Heeseung’s expression fell at the sight of your swollen eyes and messy dorm room and you sighed, reaching forward to pull him softly out of the hallway so you could close the door behind him and avoid somebody seeing him awkwardly outside your room in the middle of the night.

“What happened?” He was whispering and you sat on the bed softly, watching him with glossy eyes until he sat beside you and turned his body so he could face you better as you started to talk.

“I just don’t want to think about it anymore.” Your voice was breaking and you shook your head again, feeling tears collecting under your chin. “My brain won’t shut off, I don’t know what to do.”

He was shifting forward as you broke down, kissing his teeth in upset and holding your face, similarly to the way he did last week. You were meeting his gaze and sniffling as he gently wiped your tears and for a second your eyes went down to his lips before immediately bouncing back up.

He didn’t miss the action but he didn’t acknowledge it yet, letting you calm down more and clear your head before he spoke again.

“Can I help you forget?” He was whispering as he looked at you and your stomach turned at the implications, his words heavy in the tensioned air as he watched you with doe like eyes. He seemed genuinely and earnest and you felt your heart break again, this time for different reasons.

You thought about pushing him away and demanding he leaves, telling him this was a mistake and you shouldn’t have called him at all in the first place. You knew he would leave immediately and try his best to not make you feel awkward the next time you saw each other so you’re not sure why you were so hesitant to do so.

Then you thought about Jake and you thought about the fact he was at a party right now, not bothering to ask why you didn’t want to attend and instead being angry and going alone. You thought about how he wouldn’t have answered your call, how he never did and how Heeseung had answered before it barely rang and made it to your dorms within ten minutes.

He didn’t demand a reason or complain you were taking him away from his friends, interrupting his weekend or making him feel guilty for having a social life.

He came to your side despite you avoiding him the entire week and he held you as you cried about the boy he had given you up for, being too good of a friend to deny Jake when he had begged for permission to take you out on a date before Heeseung got the courage to.

You thought about all this and then you thought about how you couldn’t stand thinking for another second, leaning forward and kissing Heeseung gently before you talked yourself out of it.

He was stiffening immediately in shock and you pulled away in fear of his reaction, thinking you had somehow read the situation wrong and he wasn’t expecting that out of tonight or his offer to help you. You were parting your lips to apologize to him when he was surging forward and cutting you off.

Kissing Heeseung felt different than kissing Jake and you flushed at the fact you were kissing somebody other than your boyfriend for the first time.

Where Jake was passionless and routine, Heeseung was desperate and clingy like he had been waiting to kiss you for his entire life. His hands were still on your cheeks and he kept pulling you in deeper like he was scared you were going to disappear.

You tried to reassure him by scooting closer to him on the bed, placing a hand over his as you tilted your head and deepened the kiss. He groaned softly into your mouth and you squealed as he was suddenly pulling you forward and off the bed, landing onto his lap as you tried to catch your balance.

His mouth was on your again before you could process the fact you were straddling him now and you tried to shut off your thoughts and kiss him, shuddering slightly at the feeling of his hands on your lower back.

“Hee.” You were muttering into his mouth and he pulled back slightly to look at you, panting with swollen lips and hooded eyes. His gaze was shooting all around your face like he was trying to believe you were actually here and doing this. “Get on the bed more.”

It took him a few seconds to unfreeze but eventually he was nodding and scooting backwards with you on top of him, stopping when his back hit the headboard as he waited for you to make another move.

And you did, taking a small breath before leaning forward to kiss him again. It was messier this time and you whined softly into his mouth, feeling his tongue against yours and one of his large hands coming up to hold the back of your head and keep you pressed tightly against him and his open mouth.

He stopped kissing you briefly to trail down your chin and neck, stopping at your collarbone as he left wet and sloppily kisses on your hot skin, drinking in the way you gasp and reached forward to clutch onto his arms.

You could feel his muscles flexing under your hands as he tried to restrain himself, one of his hands still in your hair as the other softly massaged your hip bone without him even meaning to.

“So pretty.” He was grunting against your neck and a shiver ran through you at how out of breath he sounded just from kissing you, you shook your head as you felt him bite down softly on your skin.

“No marks.” You whispered in a half pant and he lifted his head up to look at you, furrowing his eyebrows like he was slightly hurt by the suggestion. You didn’t say anything for a second and just looked at him, hands tightening around his thick arms. “We can’t Heeseung.”

You saying his name made his eyes soften and he nodded his head in agreement, understanding the situation was about to get extremely complicated and he didn’t want to add to the drama that was inevitably going to happen. You looked saddened again at the reminder of your boyfriend and he frowned, surging forward again to capture you in another heavy kiss.

You hummed in appreciation and accepted it immediately, leaning into him and moving a hand up so you could feel the way his jaw tensed at the feeling of your tongue pressing against his.

It wasn’t long before he was growing impatient from all the kissing and the feeling of you hovering over him in his lap, grabbing your waist with his large hands and flipping the both of you over like it was absolutely nothing. You squealed at the sudden movement and laughed softly at his neediness, eyes squinting as you did so.

He was hovering over you on his elbows, planking as he looked down at you with a small grin.

“God you’re so beautiful.” He was breathless as he said it and you flushed. Your hair was splayed out across the pillows as you smiled and he felt his heart beat in happiness despite the way his stomach was turning in anger, anger at missing out on you for so long and anger at Jake for hurting something as sweet as you.

“Don’t think about him.” You were whispering and touching his cheek, bringing him back to the moment as his eyes softened. “I’m here with you.”

His chest filled with pride at your words and he felt a wave of possessiveness over come him at the truth in your words, the fact you were currently laying underneath him and not anybody else. He was nodding at you before kissing you again softly.

You groaned into his mouth at the feeling and shifted underneath him, liking the way he immediately lowered his body down so he was pressing you into the mattress underneath his weight but still holding himself up enough so he didn’t hurt you.

The kiss was soft for a few minutes as you got used to the new position and the feeling of him on top of you but eventually you were feeling anticipation eating away at you and your stomach was lighting up with want and desperation for him to do something, anything more. You shifted again and whined softly into his mouth causing him to lean back slightly.

He saw the look in your eyes, the way your lips parted in a slight pant and he smirked slightly before kissing your cheek.

“Please.” You were whispering out in a half gasp and his gaze darkened now, your hand coming up to bunch up a chunk of his shirt in your shaking hands. “Heeseung please.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, mesmerized by your soft voice begging for him to do something as he sat up off you slightly to pull his shirt over his head. You watched him as he did it and your stomach turned in arousal at the sight of his bare skin. You’d seen him shirtless countless times at pools or lounging around on a hot day but having him like this in this context made your body light up.

“Tell me what you need baby.” He was leaning back down to kiss you and push your hair from your face, his other hand going down to rest on your hip as he softly pushed your shirt up and rubbed at your exposed skin with his thumb. “Whatever you need, I’ll give you anything.”

You nodded at the idea of that and whined desperately, too overwhelmed to probably word what it was that you wanted from him. You shifted slightly again and rubbed a hand up his warm bare skin, slightly satisfied when he lowered himself down onto you again.

“Hee.” You gasped out at the feeling and you clenched his arm, nails digging into his skin when he was hard and fully pressed against you.

“I know baby I know.” He kissed you again finally and groaned into your open mouth. He was going crazy as you squirmed underneath him but he didn’t want to pressure you or suggest anything you’d agree with in a hazy state of lust, waiting for you to request something you knew you wanted.

You impatiently trailed a hand down towards his that was resting on your hip and you guided his upwards, gasping softly as he laid it over your ribs and could feel how hard your heart was pounding.

He watched you in curiosity for a second before softly moving it up even further, understanding from your small and desperate nod that you wanted him to take the shirt off completely. You sat up slightly so he could pull it up and off your body before flopping back against the bed and awkwardly looking at him, suddenly self conscious considering how bare you were.

“Fuck.” He was groaning out as he looked down at you, eyes transfixed on your chest as you took sharp breaths that caused your entire body to rise and fall. His large hand was moving forward and not wasting any time, aggressively groping you as he pressed his lower half harder against you.

You let out a small cry and shifted your legs so they were spread more, sitting on either side of his hips so he could be completely pressed against your core as he touched you so vulgarly.

“So fucking pretty, so sweet baby you should’ve been mine.” He was shaking his head in frustration as he spoke the weighted words, leaning down and kissing your chest softly but avoiding the sensitive places you were hoping he’d get to. “He could never deserve you, he doesn’t have the slightest idea what to do with all this.”

Despite not wanting to think about Jake or your relationship and having half the mind to tell him to stop mentioning it, you felt a wave of arousal at his possessive wording.

“What would you do if I was yours?” You rushed out and he looked up at you through his eyelashes from where he was still laying wet kisses on your body. He picked his head up slightly and shifted so he was closer to your face again, your nipples hardening up at the feeling of his bare chest pressed against his now.

“Never would’ve looked at him.” He was shaking his head as he looked down at you and you clutched his arm harder as he started to talk. “You never would’ve thought about anybody other than me babygirl I promise you, I’d have taken such good care of you.”

You were nodding and you felt slightly embarrassed by the tears springing to your eyes, the emotion immediately forgotten at your desperation and want for him to keep speaking to you.

“I know Hee, I know.” You gasped out and squeezed his arm. “Should’ve been you.”

He was pausing for a second, something you didn’t recognize passing through his face, before he was leaning down so he could kiss you again. It was slow and careful like he was trying to savor the moment again and you felt cared for due to his gentle approach.

You could feel him hard against you as he lowered himself completely again, shifting so you were pressed together even tighter and he throbbed and rocked softly forward into your core. Your legs were bending slightly so he had more access and your shorts bunched up on your thighs at the movement, almost all your skin available for him.

He took advantage of this as his large hands immediately went to your exposed legs, rubbing them up and down your warm thighs softly like he was really taking his time to explore and cherish every single inch of your body.

You felt another wave of affectionate wash over you underneath the complete desire that was dizzying your senses, understanding from his words that he had thought about this more than you had ever realized.

“I want you.” You were pleading into the kiss and he faltered for a second, big wide eyes hesitant and questioning as he waited for you to specify and confirm what he thought you were saying. “I want all of you Heeseung, please.”

He liked it when you said his name, he always had, even when it was something as simple as catching his attention because you were ordering food for everybody or calling him over in a crowd as he searched for you and Jake. He liked it most like this, he was quickly deciding, for more reasons than just how nice it sounded falling from your lips as you gasped and whined.

He liked hearing it like this because it was a direct acknowledgment that he was here with you and not Jake, not anybody else that could fulfill a meaningless rebound after you’d gotten your heart broken.

You’d chosen him this time and the way you said his name continuously, despite the fact you were slightly delirious with need and lust, kept him grounded in this fact as proof that you wanted him here.

“You want me to fuck you?” He was mumbling it as he kissed at your jaw, causing you to suck in a breath and wrap your arms around his warm back.

You were nodding repeatedly although he couldn’t see it now, mouth on your neck as you hooked your chin over his shoulder and kept making little cries as he rocked his hips against yours. You felt like you were going crazy and you wished you could gather your thoughts enough to tell him how good he was making you feel.

“I’ll fuck you like you belong to me.” He was muttering as he pulled back softly, laying your head back down before sitting up and helping you pull your shorts off. You cried out in complaint at the loss of contact but used the rest of your strength to attempt to pick your hips up and assist him.

“I do.” You whined out once he was laying back on top of you and you pulled him in for a sloppy kiss that was more so you trying to stick your tongue in his mouth as he watched you with an endeared expression. “I wanna.”

He’d thought about you like this more times than he’d ever admit, always feeling guilty every time you’d smile in his direction or peer up at him in question and his mind would immediately go to the image of you underneath him and panting for air like you were now.

He’d spent lots of nights wondering what you were like when you were being touched, wondering what you sounded like and if he could pull sounds from you that you didn’t even know you could make.

Jake would talk about you sometimes but he couldn’t find it in himself to listen despite his curiosity and fantasies, always going into a silent rage as he listened to your boyfriend talk about you like a piece of meat.

He was shushing you as you continued your mantra and repeated begs, exclamations about wanting to be his and little overwhelmed hiccups and he pressed himself against you again, this time with only his underwear separating you.

“Heeseung please.” You felt large tears rolling down your cheeks but you didn’t care, not feeling embarrassed despite your desperation showing.

“I know sweet girl, it’s okay.” His tone was gentle but the way he was rolling his hips into yours was anything but, constant slams of his clothed hard on against you as you scratched at the skin of his back. “I have to stretch you first baby.”

You were immediately shaking your head and he frowned softly, kissing underneath your eyes where your tears were collecting as you started to object his statement. “No need… just please.”

If you were in a clearer headspace you’d be saying differently considering the fact that you and Jake weren’t at the most sexually active point in your relationship and it had been a while since something had been properly inside of you, most likely needing the prep before anything.

Still, he couldn’t disagree with you upon hearing the urgency in your voice and you were thankful for that since you felt like if he wasn’t inside you in the next few minutes you’d just completely shut down.

“I’m bigger than Jake.” He was muttering as he shifted on top of you to push his boxers off. He wasn’t taking a dig at his friend intentionally, stating a fact for your own preparation but his lips quirked into a smirk when you let out a small laugh at his statement.

You whined softly at how slow he was going and he was immediately shushing you before leaning back down to kiss you, a hum of satisfaction vibrating your lips when he deepened it.

You could feel him pressing against you completely now and you shuddered, fighting the urge to break the kiss and looked down at him now that he was also completely naked with you. You didn’t want to stop kissing him however or get too overwhelmed too fast, knowing the sight of him entering you would drive you to your breaking point.

The feeling of him even slightly pushing in immediately had you stiffening up and sucking in a pained breath, understanding why he had warned you about his size just a few seconds ago.

“Shit I’m sorry.” He was groaning and shaking his head, stilling on top of you completely as he waited for you to say anything and let him know what he should do next. “I can pull out.”

You were quickly shaking your head and tightening your hold around his shoulders, happy he wasn’t complaining about the way your nails were tearing his skin. “No no don’t, it’s okay.”

“Just give me a second.” You were wincing and sucking in deep breaths, feeling slightly better when he dipped his head to kiss you softly. “Been a while.”

He was stiffening more as you said that. He knew Jake was still actively having sex considering he was his best friend and the subject to late night text of excited emojis and the thought of it being with somebody other than you made his stomach turn in disgust.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered when you felt him harden, misinterpreting his reaction as frustration for having to wait for you to get used to his size.

“What?” His attention was immediately back on you and he shook his head as he saw your saddened expression, leaning down to kiss you softly again and brush your hair from your sweaty face. “No baby not you, don’t say sorry.”

You nodded although not fully convinced and let him kiss you deeply for a few seconds, squeezing him tightly and rubbing his back a few times until you were ready for him to try and move.

When you finally gave him the go ahead he was slowly inching himself inside of you, being careful not to hurt you in any way while also gritting his teeth in an attempt to not just fully slam into you and get it over with. You were tight and wet around him and he swore under his breath and he laid his head down onto your shoulder.

Once he was fully inside you, you finally let out a breath that was immediately followed by a soft whine at how full you were, how deep he had managed to reach.

“Fuck.” He was shaking his head against your shoulder and you let out a small breathy laugh in agreement, understanding what he meant by the simple exclamation. “How are you so fucking tight?”

“Hee.” You were tapping his back and he picked his head up to look at you in question, eyebrows furrowed with a wild look in his eyes. You didn’t need to say anything, simply shifting underneath him and tightening your legs around his sides. He understood immediately and kissed you quickly before starting to move.

Your mouth was opening in a cry as he pulled out halfway before burying himself inside of you again, any pain you had felt from the stretch of him immediately being replaced with waves of pleasure and ecstasy.

You were driving him crazy with the sounds you were making and the way you were clenching around him, having half the mind to reach down and press down onto your stomach just so he could feel himself inside of you.

“Doing so good baby, my sweet girl.” His voice was raspy as he spoke the sweet words to you and your heart clenched again at his tone and words of endearment.

It didn’t completely miss you that he was treating you so gently, taking care of you in a way you hadn’t experienced in almost two years. Heeseung wasn’t just trying to fuck you, trying to help you forget your troubles and be done with it, he was making love to you.

“Feels too good.” You hiccuped out and he grunted with agreement, perfectly wrecking you as he kept fucking into you at a slow and deep pace. He was kissing you again but you were both in a haze of pleasure, mainly just breathing against each other.

You were rocking together as he fucked against you, doing almost all the work considering you were too overwhelmed to even form proper sentences. He felt perfect inside you and you were reaching your high sooner than you ever had, clutching on to him tightly as you tried to give him some warning.

He was nodding his head in understanding, feeling you get impossibly tight around him as you started to come undone with him still inside of you. For a second he was panicked thinking about your lack of protection before remembering that fact you were on birth control, having packed it as he watched when you went camping earlier this year.

He hoped you weren’t worrying about it either as he reached his finish seconds after you, wanting to assure you that he was clean and hadn’t been with anybody since he had met you.

Deciding against it, knowing it might just be too much for you to handle right now, he instead opted for rolling over slightly and pulling you with him so you were resting against his chest. He kissed you softly and rubbed your back like you had been doing to his the entire time you were touching.

You weren’t saying anything and he was suddenly worried that you would regret this as you left your sex driven haze.

“Y/N.” He was murmuring, trying not to spook you and you shifted your gaze so you could look him in the eyes hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

You were nodding but it obviously wasn’t the truth considering you immediately winced and laid back down on his chest, finding it easier to speak when he wasn’t watching you. “I know I shouldn’t be with him… but it still doesn’t make this right.”

Your words hung heavy in the air as you both fell into an uncomfortable silence, not expecting to talk about your current situation only a few seconds after you finished having sex with him. He felt slightly hurt by your statement but he also knew he should’ve expected such a talk and for you to feel guilty about being with him.

“It isn’t right but neither is the way he treats you. Plus, you know I won’t tell him if you don’t want me to.” He added the second part despite the crack he felt in his chest, knowing their was a chance you’d go back to Jake and let this remain your little secret.

“You have to tell him.” You were countering and the way your face vibrating when you spoke caused a tickle on his skin. “We have to.”

You said the words like they meant something important, picking up your head to look at his reaction even, but he wasn’t quite sure what you were insinuating, tilting his head as he stared at you and waited for you to explain what you wanted him to understand more clearly.

“We can tell him together.” You furthered your words and his stomach flipped with nerves. “Tell him about us.”

You stressed the word so there wasn’t any room for further confusion, clearly implying that you were seeking the same thing he was and you were open to trying things out with him after you officially ended things with Jake and convinced to him what you’d done.

He was breaking out into a wild smile and nodding his head in agreement, not even caring about the consequences of telling your boyfriend and his best friend, no doubt losing that connection. He’d seen it coming for a while now and as much as it saddened him to watch his friend mold into somebody unrecognizable, it was becoming unhealthy to stay his friends and enable his behavior.

You looked nervous at his lack of verbal response but you felt better when he pulled you back down into a kiss.

#enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen smut #enhypen au #heeseung drabbles #heeseung #jake enhypen #heeseung x reader #jake x reader #heeseung smut #heeseung fic #heeseung fanfic #heejake

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rootbeerworshiper · 4 months

Text

Normal (part 1)

pairing: fem!character + matt sturniolo

summery: Abigail and Matt have been best friends for years and practically grew up together. the two hiding their feelings for one another, until one stupid drunken dare changes things.

warnings: swearing, suggestive parts, drinking, slight mention of abuse but not too much detail.

this is the first fic i’ve ever written but i actually like it a lot and @sturnswrites convinced me to post it

no idea where this story is going but for now, enjoy!

pt 2 pt 3

love, sienna <3

the first time i saw him was my first day of grade 4. i was new and incredibly anxious. i had always been an anti social child and for the most part i was okay with it, preferring reading books over introducing myself to others. but for whatever reason, it no longer felt okay. i struggled to see all the groups of girls laughing and eating lunch together, for whatever reason it stung.

i was fully prepared to sit by myself, walking over to an empty table with my lunch bag, but that’s when i heard something. well, heard someone.

“hey!” a boy yelled from behind me. after pausing for a moment, i assumed he wasn’t talking to me and picked up where i left off, back to the empty table.

“Chris you’re so dumb how is she meant to know you’re talking to her” another boy said, this one wearing a power rangers shirt

“oh… right” the boy with the longest hair replied, thinking momentarily

i finally arrived at the table and began opening my lunch kit, also looking for my headphones. i liked to drown out the voices of others, focusing on the lyrics of my favourite artists. i grabbed the wired headphones and untangled them before beginning to eat my sandwich.

i thought about how lonely i felt, how stupid i probably looked, eating the sandwich my older sister packed for me in a room surrounded my kids with food from the cafeteria. these thoughts consumed me until all of a sudden i felt a little less lonely.

looking to my left, my brows furrowed. a boy. sitting next to me.

he didn’t say anything at first, opening his lunch kit simply and taking out his snacks for the day. eventually though, he mustered up the courage to speak. “are you listening to black eyed peas?”

i shift in my seat, stomach immediately filling with anxiety “oh um yeah i am” i said quietly biting my lip, looking at the boy for any sort of emotion “im sorry i’ll turn it down i-“

“can i have a headphone?” he says. i wasn’t sure what to do in this moment, is this how you make friends? would he hate my music? did he think i was a loser? i try to shake the thoughts out of my head and focus on the boy facing me, who is now opening up a bag of my favourite fruit snacks.

“only if you give me a fruit snack” i smile, taking out a headphone from my ear and holding my hand out.

“deal” the boy replies placing two orange fruit snacks into my palm and grabbing the headphone. “what’s your name? i haven’t seen you before”

i cant believe this is happening, like at all. “my names Abigail but most people call me Abi” i reply, tilting my head back and throwing the two fruit snacks in my mouth.

“i like that name. Abigail. it has a good ring to it” he says before thinking for a moment. the feeling in my stomach is replaced by butterflies. i place my hands on my cheeks, attempting to hide the blush that’s tinting them “i think i have a better nickname then Abi, how do you feel about Bee?”

a confused look makes it’s way to my face. “like the bug?” he nods his head excitedly. “sure, you can call me Bee” i smile. “what’s your name? you haven’t told me yet” oh god that sounds weird, i’m so awkward i should just get up and go while i can-

“i’m Matt. well technically i’m Matthew but no one calls me that, it’s too formal” he smiles back, taking a bite into the sandwich that his mom made for him.

“well now i need a special nickname for you” i say, biting my lip as i try and think of something. i fidget with my fingers for a moment before i think of something. “how do you feel about Matty?”

“hm it’s okay.” he replies, mouth half full. i feel so stupid he probably hates it “but only you can call me that” this immediately brings a smile back to my lips.

“sounds like we have a deal Matty”

“sounds like we do, Bee”

since that fateful day, i had a friend and well, unbeknownst to me, the friend i made came with two others, Chris and Nick.

the three boys made me feel so much better about starting at a new school, made me feel seen at times where i’d normally feel invisible.

my home life wasn’t great, to put it bluntly it was shit. my mom was working all the time and i barely ever saw her and my dad, well i saw him more than i’d like. he was never physically abusive, and it took me many years to refer to anything he did to me as abuse, but really that’s what it was.

he would constantly remind me that i wasn’t good enough, saying that him and my mom wished i was never born. as you can imagine, it hurt like a bitch. but i always had my older sister there to pack me lunches and write me notes of encouragement. looking back on it, i feel more bad for her than i do myself because she had to endure all that shit and she didn’t have an older sister to cry out to.

when she went off to college i was heartbroken, not that i would ever show it to her.

the sudden absence of a family figure in my life made me closer to the triplets then i has been before.

i was always close to Chris and Nick and they were like family to me, really. but something about Matt always set him apart.

every time he’d ask me to hangout my heart beat would speed up, or when he puts his arm around me and i suddenly feel the same feelings in my stomach that i did in grade 4.

him and i understood each other on a different level, we helped one another in many ways. whenever i had a problem, i always had someone to turn to, and he had the same.

another important thing to mention about Matt is that he was my first kiss.

it was in sophomore year, and Chris had gotten us invited to our first real party, although there wasn’t more than 15 teenagers there, it was still a big deal.

Matt never liked the idea of drinking, said he didn’t wanna lose control. i didn’t like it either, my dad did most of his yelling under the influence of beer, and every time i smell it it’s like he‘a breathing down my neck all over again.

everyone else at the party drank, but it didn’t bother me because i had Matt by my side.

“we should play spin the bottle!” Chris suggests, already 3 drinks in and somehow more confident than ever before. i knew he only wanted to play because his crush was there, so i went along with it.

“sure, could be fun right?” i look to Matt who is internally freaking out. he just nods so i grab his hand and we head to the middle of the dim lit basement.

the drunk teenagers all eventually form a circle on the rug and place an empty beer bottle in the middle.

“who’s going first?” Nick asks, sipping on the random sweet cooler in his hand. “dibs out” he laughs with Alahna, another friend brought to me through Matt.

“i’ll go” the long haired triplet says, running his hand through his hair and leaning into the middle of the circle to spin the bottle

i just laugh and whisper to Matt “i wonder why that is?” Matt just shoots me a shocked look but ultimately joins in on my laughing

Chris ignores us and spins the bottle, landing on Alahna. “bro” he groans, placing his hands over his face

“wow you really know how to compliment a girl Christopher, i’m so flattered” she jokes, earning a snort from me across the circle

“no not like that-“ he begins to defend himself but ultimately gives up “whatever” he sits up and leans across the rug, giving the girl a peck on the lips, both of their faces becoming engulfed in disgust.

“Matt you’re next” a random guy from across the circle says, causing Matt to rub his hands over his face

i put my hand on his knee and speak just loud enough for him to hear “you got it Matty” he just groans and leans forward to spin the bottle

it feels like an eternity has gone by when the bottle finally lands.

on me.

it’s not like i haven’t thought about kissing him before, but this was so… real.

a blush creeps it’s way onto my face which i cover with both of my palms, internally freaking the fuck out.

Chris had his fun teasing us, but eventually something needed to happen. i looked up from the floor to the boy next to me. “we don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s just a dumb game” i explain, trying to avoid the awkward feeling forming in my stomach from the way he looks at me.

he thinks for a moment before shrugging. “i’m down if you’re down, just a game right?” he doesn’t know how that sentence makes me feel, my heart doing literal backflips inside my chest.

“okay” is all i say when he suddenly leans in, finger making its way to my chin to guide my lips to his.

the kiss is short lasting, but sweet. i didn’t realize i was craving the feeling of his lips on mine until i experienced it.

he pulls his lips off of mine but keeps his hand on my chin for a moment longer, remaining eye contact with me until Nick speaks again.

“okay that made everyone uncomfortable please get a room” he jokes and the game continues on for a while, drunken kisses being shared throughout the group.

but i can’t get my mind off of the way my best friends lips felt on mine, how right it felt. at least to me, it was just a dumb game to him, right?

After that night, Matt and i never mentioned kissing each other again, and everything went back to normal.

other than my feelings for him that i gained that night. i couldn’t get my mind off of his lips, how soft they were, how they fit like a puzzle piece onto my own. it felt like a dream.

but again, we decided to go back to normal.

however, normal, became well, not normal.

stolen stares became more common, and soft touches were now intentional.

unfortunately this didn’t stop him from dating other girls, and i mean why wouldn’t he? he kissed me once in some strangers basement, it’s not like he fell in love with me on the spot.

as his best friend i helped him get girls, telling him all the right things to say and do, constantly wishing he would do those things for me.

i knew i was torturing myself but he was my best friend and losing him was not worth telling him how i felt. so i kept it to myself. for years.

it wasn’t too bad at first. somehow i was able to keep him off my mind for the most part and i tried my best to find other potential suitors, but as you can probably imagine, nothing clicked.

when nick came out to me in junior year i was obviously thrilled, because it meant he trusted me and it was something that brought us together. but i also couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being honest about how i felt about his brother.

so i told him.

“no fucking way” he says, hands rubbing his eyes as if he just saw something traumatizing. i bit my lip, a bad habit i haven’t been able to shake, as i looked to him, awaiting a reaction. “you’re in love with my brother and i’m just now finding out?” he didn’t sound overly mad but he certainly wasn’t happy.

“i wouldn’t say in love” he just rolls his eyes. “i’m sorry! i just didn’t want you to be mad at me and it’s not like it’s ever gonna happen anyways so i didn’t think it was relevant” i ramble, fidgeting with my fingers anxiously. if Matt were here his hand would be placed in mine to calm me down.

“i’m not mad, i don’t think.” he thinks for a second, furrowing his eyebrows before speaking again “when did it start?” he asks

“sophomore year. in the basement” i feel so incredibly uncomfortable but i know that it’s only fair for Nick to know.

he’s confused for a moment before realizing “well shit” he contemplates in his head for a moment longer “i actually see it” he’s smiling now as he looks to me

“see what?” that’s all i can muster up the courage to say, still incredibly awkward saying these things out loud

“well like, i see it. like you guys together, i never thought about it before but it actually makes so much sense” the last thing i needed was Nick feeding into my delusions.

“yeah right, you don’t have to lie to me, i can live in peace knowing it’s a one sided thing that’s going nowhere” i reply, and it’s true. i came to terms with Matt not liking me back a long time ago.

“i’m not lying, i mean he’s definitely too stupid to realize what’s there but i fully believe that there is something there” nick says and i don’t really reply, now fidgeting with the ring Matt got me in freshman year. “but i’m glad you told me, now we can help each other, you find me a boyfriend and i get my brother to like you back”

i audibly laugh “i’ll definitely find you a boyfriend but you don’t have to worry about Matt and i, i’ll move on eventually”

3 years later and i still hadn’t moved on.

i mean it was definitely more of a repressed feeling, but still a feeling nonetheless. at this point it was a little embarrassing.

i tried dating around, but usually i got bored and gave up. i also tried casual hookups but it gets pretty boring having bad sex all the time.

and all of that brings me to tonight, at yet another “get together” with the all of the triplets friends and i can’t help but feel extremely out of place.

other than Nate and the triplets, i’m not actually friends with anyone here, and it doesn’t help that majority of them are influencers. so although i normally don’t drink, i needed to do something to get rid of the anxious feeling in my stomach that brews the longer i stay sober.

some rap song that i’ve never heard of is blasting in the back round and i get lost in my own thoughts for a moment. “you’re drinking?” Chris asks, now standing next to me as i lean against the kitchen counter. before he gets an answer he grabs the solo cup from my hand and takes a sip.

i roll my eyes and take the cup back. “you could not be less obnoxious if you tried Chris” i take another sip, if i could leave now i would, but i promised Nick that i’d stay.

“wow aren’t you just a bundle of joy right now” Chris fake smiles and goes to the island to pour himself a drink. “what’s got you in a bad mood?” he yells just loud enough to be heard over the music.

i’m not entirely sure how to answer the question. oh you know I’m just in love with your brother and he’s talking to three girls at once in the corner! yeah not happening. “nothing really, i just don’t love parties” i say, finishing my drink now to make room in my cup for another.

“mmm sure” Chris rubs my head and messes up my hair, same thing he’s been doing for years and it pisses me off every time, well except for now. i’m too preoccupied with literally anything else to care. “i think they’re starting a drinking game over there now if you care to join”

i look to the group of people who are now in the living room. normally i’d say no right away, especially with what happened last time i played a drinking game, but the alcohol is getting to me and the triplets are definitely not the only attractive guys at this party. “sure why not”

“that’s my girl” Chris smiles, dapping me up and we walk towards the living room together. i try my best to avoid looking at the girls drooling over Matt on the couch.

i’ve never drank before i definitely feel more confident as i sit next to some “influencer” i don’t know the name of, but he’s hot and Matt currently-

has his hand on some girls lap.

awesome!

“okay i think what we’re gonna do is like, truth or dare but if you don’t do either, then you take a shot” Nick explains “any objections?” he looks to me subtly but i choose to ignore him “alright, hm.. Nate truth or dare?”

the boy just smiles and sits up from his previously comfortable position on the couch. “i’ll do truth for now, i’m not drunk enough yet for dare” he jokes, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

“okay let me think” Nick replies, eyes darting upwards as if he’s looking into his head. “where was the weirdest place you’ve had sex?”

the room is filled with laughter and cheers momentarily before he answers. “alright i don’t even have a weird place because i’m not a freak like Chris over there but probably just the car” Nate explains

“i feel targeted right now” Chris says, holding his hands to his heart as if he’s been shot.

i continue to sip on the drink in my hand for a few more rounds before my own name is called by Chris. “okay Abi truth or dare?” he smirks, assuming I’m going to play it safe.

“dare”

my thoughts are confirmed when everyone in the room shares the same shocked expression as Chris. “alrighty then i need to pick a good one” the long hair boy rubs his head, attempting to think of something good. “oh i have one” he smiles and i know it’s gonna be something crazy by the way his eyes glimmer. “i dare you to give a hickey to the hottest person in this room”

my jaw literally drops. as much as i’d rather not suck on someone’s neck in a room full of people, i know that if i take the shot now i’ll never live it down. “bet” i smile, trying to come off as confident although i am literally shitting myself. i look around and of course i make eye contact with Matt.

normally, i wouldn’t do something so irrational, but i’m 4 drinks in and feeling the need to prove myself.

i make eye contact with him again after looking around and i swallow my pride and place myself on his lap. “this good?” i ask him quietly. he just nods and well i get to work, placing a few teasing kisses along his jaw before picking a spot and sucking until i pull away and see a mark. “there all done” i pat him on the head and sit back in my original spot.

“well fuck okay then” Madi laughs with Nick from across the room, a few more rounds go by, some of them literally causing me to piss myself laughing, when abruptly, Matt stands up and literally b lines to his room. everyone makes their remarks on “tuff guy” Matt but i can’t help but feel bad. i’m not sure why i feel guilty, i don’t think i did anything wrong, but i can tell he’s upset and i’d hate to be the cause of it.

just as i’m about to get up Chris’s hand places itself on my leg. “don’t worry about him, trust me he’s fine. you deserve to have fun” he looks at me with a sort of seriousness in his eyes that causes me to slouch back down into my seat.

the rest of the night is filled with my own thoughts about Matt.

was it something i did? was he angry? sad? why didn’t he say anything? where is he? what is he doing right now?

as his best friend i know i should be in there comforting him the way he had done to me countless times but for whatever reason, what Chris said stuck with me, so instead i sat and watched a bunch of dumb 20 something-year olds play truth or dare at 1am. not my idea of a fun time.

authors note: next chapter will be very similar to this one but by chapter 3 there will be fun angst trust🤞

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo edit #matt girl #nicolas sturniolo

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