#but that's not even close to all the audio mixing i did here--cannot believe that i did all this for my first big amv project | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

themurphyzone · 3 years

Text

Nova Ch 11

AN: This is gonna be the last of the set-up chapters. The story will start snowballing (see what I did there? Heehee) from the next chapter on.

This chapter includes an art piece I requested from the talented @plutonis, and I’m so glad I can finally show this off because it contains some very gorgeous colors.

AO3 Link

Ch 11: Spectrum

Terran Date 2015.4.28

Yesterday, Pinky showed me one of his favorite pieces of media to thank me for the story of Heikro var Silda, even though he cried for fifteen minutes because of the tragic ending. While indeed sad, I’m proud to say I remained steadfast and controlled my emotions upon revisiting the story. And while I told him it wasn’t necessary, he insisted and I acquiesced to his demands.

That’s how Pinky introduced me to The Lion King. Once again, I remained strong even when the emotional distress threatened to override my logical mind. It was...rather difficult, I’ll admit. We watched the sequel afterward, and though I’ve created five different charts that list the plot points in order, I cannot come up with a satisfactory sequence of events that connects both movies into a cohesive narrative.

Moving onto real life matters...Pinky seems to be under the impression that I will be a permanent resident of the lab.

Celestial bodies above, what use is my intelligence if I’m trapped among heathen, dimwitted fools who can’t tell the difference between left and right! I refuse to be a lab rat, made to do the so-called dominant species’ bidding. Snowball and I shall be taking over this planet and progressing their backwards society far beyond their wildest dreams! That’s what we came here for, and I will not be sidetracked again.

As for Pinky...well, his imagination can make up some personalities for his inanimate object friends once I leave. He doesn’t have any shortage of those. The newest addition to the crew is an eraser nub with the moniker of ‘Gummy’.

Signing off for now,

The Brain

o-o-o-o-o

Brain saved the new transmission to an encrypted, password-protected file. None of the scientists were technical experts, so the odds of discovery were miniscule or nonexistent. He only had five audio files in total, a meager amount compared to the hundreds of transmissions he’d made back on New Selene. The pointer hovered over the Delete All button. He didn’t have a reason to keep making transmissions when he was leaving the lab behind in just a few days.

Still, he hesitated.

Maybe he could leave it as a memento for Pinky. But even a basic level of encryption and case-sensitive password would remain far beyond Pinky’s capabilities.

Perhaps it was best to leave the issue for another night.

He logged off the computer and joined Pinky, who’d surrounded himself with Gummy and the rest of his inanimate object friends as he played a board game called Monopoly. Though Brain had looked up the rules and goals of the game during his online session out of curiosity, he didn’t really understand the appeal or mass marketability of such an unbalanced game.

Although, given the number of different versions of Monopoly out there, creating and selling his own version of the game with the title of Brainopoly could prove to be a viable plan.

Pinky was playing as if there were four players and not just a free-for-all against a nickel, button, and eraser. It became disturbingly obvious that Pinky was either overly generous or just woefully terrible at mental math, because he continually doled out the wrong amount of money from the bank or his own meager cash pile.

And Pinky was far better off if Brain cut in now, because there was no chance that anyone else was catching up to Gummy, who owned the most lucrative properties and had the largest amount of money.

He had to stop anthropomorphizing these objects. He was starting to think like Pinky, and that was an extremely distressing thought.

“You’re losing to an eraser,” Brain said. Pinky only had a few fives in currency, and the three properties he owned were all flipped over and mortgaged.

“Yeah, Gummy’s just very good at this game! Narf!” Pinky said as he rolled the dice for Mr. Button. “It’s so nice of him to let us sleep in his Marvin Garden Apartments though. Otherwise we’d be homeless!”

“Nice indeed,” Brain replied. For his peace of mind, he didn’t dare press for more details.

Pinky threw the dice, then moved the bucket token seven spaces, landing on the Luxury Tax space. “That’ll be seventy-five dollars, Mr. Button,” Pinky said as he gathered the money, which only totaled sixty. And Mr. Button’s four properties were all mortgaged. Pinky realized this too. “Oh...you don’t have enough. Poit.”

Any normal player would’ve tossed in the towel right there, but Pinky wasn’t a conventional player by any means. He frowned, scratched his head, then picked up his own pile of fives and tossed them onto the sixty, bringing the amount to seventy-five, with two leftover fives for Mr. Button.

“You can have that, Mr. Button!” Pinky chirped as he dumped the luxury tax money in the middle of the board. “With a little more for the bus!”

Pinky had completely knocked himself out of the game.

This was supposed to be an extremely competitive game for families and seasoned professionals, right? Though the rules of Monopoly appeared confusing and controversial to most players, he was certain that nobody would willingly lose with such a reckless method.

Well...maybe it was just a fluke. Pinky was only playing against himself, so if he wanted to give up the money to something he was making the decisions for, that was his choice.

Besides, he couldn’t watch this game much longer.

“I’ll be your next opponent,” Brain announced. He’d never played before, but the basics seemed simple enough. And the math involved was basic arithmetic he could do in his sleep. “Reset the board at once, Pinky.”

Pinky’s tail wagged as he gathered up the houses and hotels and tossed them back into the box, then settled down as he skillfully shuffled the Community Chest and Chance cards. From the way he hummed and twirled around, an outsider could easily mistake Brain for a playmate instead of an opponent.

Brain quickly read over the instruction sheet, then divided the game currency into a starting amount for himself, Pinky, and the bank.

“Can I be in charge of the property cards, Brain?” Pinky asked as he organized them by color.

“Yes, but I shall handle all other banker duties,” Brain said. “Listen closely, Pinky. I’ve looked up stories about Monopoly games going on for a long time with no definitive winner, so we’ll stop the game when one of us runs out of money, or if chance has favored you or I enough that we can place a hotel on the board.”

“Chance always has a problem with favoritism,” Pinky said as he moved the horse token to the Go space. Indeed, chance hasn’t always favored members of either of their species, but it could stand to be more merciful during a board game. He hugged the horse token to his chest. “Anyways, Pharfigtwoton is always my choice! What’s yours?”

Brain didn’t understand how anyone in their right mind would want to play as a wheelbarrow or bucket, and the only pieces that interested him at all were the ones that resembled modes of Terran transportation. In the end, he chose the battleship.

He was tempted to call it the Conquistador Two, but he didn’t want to follow the trend of naming random objects.

“Good one!” Pinky said as he pushed the ship over to the horse token. “A gorgeous ship like this needs a name...so I hereby dub thee Battley McBattleface!”

“We’re calling it the Conquistador Two, and that’s final,” Brain snapped.

“The Conquesodor Two,” Pinky agreed.

They tossed the dice to decide turn order, and Pinky won that battle easily since Brain had the misfortune to roll double ones.

On his first turn, Pinky managed to land on St. Charles Place with a high roll. He happily shelled out the money required to buy the property. “I’m putting a nice dog park here!” he declared, placing the unused dog token in the magenta space above the property. “Now Pharfigtwoton can give rides to all the puppies!”

Brain didn’t know if Monopoly required players to create their own storyline, but it certainly made the game more interesting and baffling at the same time. He rolled the dice, sighing when he could only advance to Reading Railroad.

He hoped it wouldn’t be a trend for Pinky to receive high rolls while he was stuck in the first half of the board.

But he quickly changed his mind once he paid up for Reading Railroad and read through the card information. Just like any real life war or corporate strategy, the key to his victory would lie in controlling the flow of transportation and goods!

Pinky landed on New York on his next turn, rambling about taking all the puppies to New York for a double decker bus tour of the city as he slid a stack of bills to Brain. Brain sighed and tossed an extra twenty bill back at Pinky. He wished Pinky would pay more attention to adding properly than the make-believe puppies.

Brain rolled the dice and moved his battleship to Virginia, claiming the property so Pinky couldn’t control one-fourth of the board this early in the game.

“Brain, can I have a house?” Pinky asked as he drew a Community Chest card. He read through the card and grinned. “Awww, I got second in a beauty pageant! Thank you, everyone! It’s such an honor! Oh, and it says I also won ten dollars.”

“You don’t meet the conditions required for a house, Pinky,” Brain said, giving Pinky a ten. He didn’t care about the fake beauty pageant, just that money was either gained or lost depending on luck of the draw.

“Oh, I’ll keep them off the board,” Pinky promised. “I just want a house for Terry to live in.”

He held up the dog token, who was now apparently called Terry.

“Fine, but don’t mix your ridiculous fantasies with the board,” Brain sighed and tossed a green house at Pinky, which smacked him in the head when he didn’t catch it in time. Pinky laughed it off and coaxed Terry to stand next to the house.

Houses and hotels. His Internet searches on the Clarkes led to tons of websites on the Terran real estate market and hotel industry.

Which reminded Brain that he hadn’t shared his research into the Clarkes with Pinky yet. There hadn’t been enough time during the day, where the incompetent scientists poked and prodded them. And in Brain’s case, tried to figure out where the antennae came from.

Their hypotheses, and he was being exceedingly generous when he described their speculation and conspiracy theories as hypotheses, amounted to claiming a Terran mouse and insect had reproduced together.

“I’ve brushed up on the Clarkes so we can properly impersonate them at the party. According to-scrik!” Brain hissed under his breath when he landed on New York and had to pay Pinky.

“Sixteen please!” Pinky chirped. “All proceeds will go to buying toys and treats for good dogs in need!”

Brain grudgingly gave up the sixteen. Probability was not on his side tonight. “As I was saying before cruel fate reared its ugly head, the man I shall impersonate, Anthony Clarke, is an esteemed real estate and luxury hotel mogul, with a net worth in the billions. His success is rooted in savvy, ruthless business against competitors. It appears that he and Lamont are old college acquaintances, which we can spin to our advantage. And...yes! B&O Railroad!”

He claimed the B&O Railroad for himself, and Pinky wrinkled his nose. “I wouldn’t ride on the Body Odor Railroad even if you pay me in cheese,” he said.

Brain rolled his eyes. “The temptation for cheese is too powerful for your empty mind and bottomless stomach.”

“You’re right, Brain. It’s too yummy.” Pinky licked his lips. “So does that make me Mrs. Zoey Clarke then? Unless he divorced her already. I haven’t kept up with them in a while.” The butler on the phone had made a similar comment, thoroughly expecting ‘Mr. Clarke’ to divorce his spouse by the end of the week.

“So you’re aware of the Clarkes,” Brain said. He rolled the dice, and chance immediately sentenced him to jail. He had to push his battleship all the way to the jail space.

But all of this divorcing nonsense was trivial to his goals. Hardly worth a footnote.

The objective was to infiltrate the party, mingle with the guests to throw off suspicion, then steal the military weapon and take over the world, not involve himself in a Terran’s relationship drama.

“Ooh, tough.” Pinky clicked his tongue in sympathy as he bought Waterworks. “But everyone knows who the Clarkes are. Didn’t you see anything about all those divorces when you looked them up?”

“I’m more interested in his business ventures than his messy personal life,” Brain replied. “All this talk about divorce is simply incidental. But now I digress. Escaping jail so I may continue my conquering campaign is of utmost priority.”

“Doubles! Doubles!” Pinky chanted as Brain threw the dice. A two and three faced up, but no doubles. Pinky deflated, but only for a moment. Then he picked up a fifty. “Here, Brain. I’ll bail you out.”

From Brain’s brief skim over the rules, he didn’t recall a single one that allowed players to bail each other out of jail. He wanted to refuse and tell Pinky to focus on winning for himself, but obtaining Pennsylvania Railroad, which he’d missed the first time he’d passed through this section of the board, was just too tempting.

Brain took the fifty from Pinky, put it in the bank, then moved his battleship out of jail and used his draining resources to buy Pennsylvania Railroad. Only afterward did he realize that he’d been steadily losing money every turn and hadn’t gained anything since the beginning of the game.

Contrast to Pinky, who rolled a twelve and skipped over the last fourth of the board, placing him squarely on the Go space and guaranteeing himself a free two hundred. Then he rolled a low number and bought Mediterranean.

A poor investment, given that it was hardly worth anything. But Pinky didn’t think so.

And he wouldn’t stop cooking up new fantasies either. “Now we can host a beach jubilee for your welcome home from jail party! With hot dogs and beach balls and those big umbrellas and-”

Brain lobbed the dice at Pinky so he’d quiet down and allow Brain to formulate a strategy in peace.

Perhaps a pass around the board without purchasing anything would be necessary. He had to rebuild his financial resources again. The downside was that Pinky could potentially take the spaces for himself, but it was entirely possible that he’d miss some of the open spaces too.

So he did just that, finally lucking out when a Community Chest card sent Pinky to Reading Railroad.

But Pinky was incapable of keeping his mouth shut, and soon he was back on the topic of the infamous Clarke divorces.

“-so I think Zoey is number eleven, and I know they all blend together, so when I confuse them I just remember divorce, beheaded, died, divorce, beheaded, survived!”

Brain stared at Pinky, praying to all the ancient Selenian gods nobody believed in anymore that Snowball didn’t have him take the identity of a murderer.

“Oh wait no, no...that’s King Henry, not Clarke. Must’ve mixed them up, poit. Sorry.”

Brain threw another green house at Pinky, nailing him in the shoulder. Pinky yelped, but once he realized he had another house he immediately thanked Brain because that meant Terry’s friend could move next door.

Since there was little point to dissuading Pinky entirely, Brain focused on his game strategy instead.

It was mostly repetition anyway. Roll dice, move piece, board event, repeat. Perhaps it would be considered tedious and monotonous, but the storylines Pinky improvised were what truly made it fascinating, even though Brain could only follow about half of it since Pinky created plotholes within the fantastical yet mundane place named Monopoly City faster than the speed of light.

According to Pinky, he and his sister co-ran an enormous pet supply shop attached to a humane animal shelter next door to the dog park. Meanwhile, Brain was conductor of a magical train and seeking the mayorship because the corrupt mayor was involved with an evil cigarette corporation who wanted to diabolically sell their products to innocent children.

And while Pinky certainly had a knack for improvisation, the matter at hand was that Brain couldn’t resist buying Boardwalk, but he’d used up a third of his money and Pinky wasn’t landing there to make up for the deficit. But Brain also had Baltic, the least valuable property, and Pinky had Park Place, which Brain desperately needed since neither of them had houses on the board yet.

This wasn’t going to be a fair trade for Pinky, but it was the best chance Brain had to etch out a victory. He was going for it.

“Park for Baltic so we can finally build some residences,” Brain said, sliding the card over to Pinky.

And to his surprise, Pinky jumped at the opportunity. “Sure, Brain! If you’ll trade me Oriental for Marvin Gardens. We’re gonna open a Chinatown district!”

He’d be giving Pinky control of the first quarter of the board, but the allure of the most expensive properties was far too tempting to pass up.

They swapped properties, then paused the game to set up their houses. Brain didn’t have enough money to buy houses for all his properties, so he set two houses on Boardwalk and hoped he could deal a staggering blow to Pinky’s finances. And even this decision was costly, for he only had $180 left.

Pinky set four houses on Baltic and clapped his hands together. “They’re beach houses,” he explained, and didn’t bother putting houses on the rest of his properties even though he could afford it.

Brain kept his mouth shut. Best not to give Pinky ideas. So he rolled the dice and got doubles.

Luxury Tax.

Scrik.

Now he was down to $105. But he’d pass Go on his next turn, so he could obtain an extra two hundred and hopefully skip this portion of the board.

Then he landed on Baltic.

He slowly looked at Pinky, and Brain couldn’t tell if Pinky was being perfectly innocent or just very, very good at pretending to be perfectly innocent. “That’ll be $320 please,” Pinky said.

Including the two hundred from passing Go, he’d only have a grand total of $305.

And according to the conditions he’d set, he’d lost the game through losing all his money.

“Can’t pay it,” Brain sighed. “Congratulations, Pinky. You’ve bested me.”

Pinky giggled and threw his play money in the air in celebration. “Aw, thanks for playing with me! I’ve never played Monopoly with anyone before. Never been able to get the board to Pharfignewton’s stable without the play money flying all over the street. It took me a long time to pick it all up. We should definitely do this again, Brain! Troz!”

But there wouldn’t be a next time. No matter how much he wanted to be victorious in another match against Pinky.

“Yes, we should,” Brain forced out, willing his racing heart to calm down so he wasn’t caught in his lie.

Pinky beamed, and Brain only wished it wasn’t so difficult to explain.

o-o-o-o-o

Terran Date 4.29.2015

Tonight, we shall seek appropriate outfits for the masquerade ball. I have been informed that my jumpsuit is not considered formal attire and that we will need to shop for proper clothing. However, I will be bringing my jumpsuit along since I will not return to the lab, and I require my conquering outfit to carry out our plans.

Pinky knows a place that may contain what we need. He’s spent the last two hours finishing his hat for the Kentucky Derby and has proudly shown off the finished product to me. Though I’ll admit that the result can only be considered a hat if one is generous with their definition.

I have not been able to contact Snowball. I can only assume he’s making the necessary preparations on his end.

Signing off for now,

The Brain

o-o-o-o-o

They stood in front of an enormous building with bright neon letters, impossible to miss even with his direction-challenged companion. Thankfully, it was only a few blocks from the lab. After the scientists strapped him to a machine that tested centrifugal force, he didn’t have the energy to walk much further.

“Welcome to Toyz ‘B’ We, Brain!” Pinky exclaimed, and Brain cringed at the horrendous grammar of that name. “It's the most wonderfulest toy shop ever!”

Wonderfulest wasn’t a word, but Brain was given no time to inform Pinky of that fact before Pinky dragged him to the entrance, where a large, cartoonish statue of a Terran bee stood off to the side, greeting customers with a cheerful wave of her magic wand.

“So that’s the mascot, Becky Bee,...let’s see, those are the shopping carts and the baskets and those machines that give you washable tattoos-”

“Focus on the clothing, Pinky. Not all the extraneous material,” Brain reminded him as they entered the store. Unlike their disastrous mall trip, Brain had brought along a source of money, an ACME credit card one of the scientists had carelessly left at their desk after purchasing a chair online.

They had a right to use the card as ACME employees who never got paid for their hard labor in experiments. And he promised Pinky he’d give it back once they were through purchasing the necessary items, so it didn’t catch on that pesky ‘no stealing’ radar.

Based on Pinky’s descriptions of the store, he expected an interior full of wonder, excitement, and interesting objects designed for enjoyment for young Terrans.

Instead, everything was a sterile white, yellow, or black. Rectangular kits of building blocks of all shapes and sizes sat neatly in a row, their price tags dusty as if they hadn’t been moved or cleaned in some time.

Dozens of bee models hung from the ceiling rafters, all of them sharing the exact same dead stare and pose. The whole setup was rather unnerving, and Brain averted his eyes.

He spotted two workers at the registers. They scrolled through their phones, not noticing Pinky’s cheerful greeting as he skipped past them. A third worker called out in alarm to them, and they suddenly dropped their phones and picked up rags, repetitively wiping their counters in circles in a poor attempt to appear busy.

The only one who acted like they were in a store meant for entertainment was Pinky, who oohed and ahhed and zigzagged all over the place to get a look at all the toys.

“Brain, look at this Barbie convertible! It’s so sparkly!” Pinky exclaimed before darting off to admire the box art on five-hundred piece jigsaw puzzles, then crawled onto the lowest shelf to hug a life-sized chihuahua plushie. “Narf! This one’s a cutie! And I also like the polka-dotted lizard, that green unicorn, and that rainbow koala looks really soft too-”

Brain grabbed Pinky’s tail, yanking him out of the shelf and onto the floor.

“This store’s already eroding whatever’s left of your mind,” Brain said, dragging Pinky away from the stuffed animals.

Pinky propped himself up on his elbows, humming as they passed aisle upon aisle of action figures, balls, and building blocks.

It was strange how they seemed to be the only customers here. Shouldn’t there be more snot-nosed brats running amok or haggard parents corralling them so they didn’t destroy everything with their grubby hands?

Still, perhaps he shouldn’t complain.

It was a relief that he didn’t have to worry about people trampling him underfoot for now.

But the peace didn’t last long, since Pinky suddenly peeled away in a completely different direction, forgetting that Brain was hanging onto his tail. Though he tried to dig his heels in, Pinky was too fast and the floor too slippery for Brain to bring them to a halt.

Then Pinky stopped on his own, and Brain only caught a glimpse of a metallic table leg before he crashed face-first into it, his nose smarting from the impact.

“Sorry, Brain,” Pinky said sheepishly, and there were five upside-down images of him. Brain swatted at the one in the middle, but his hand hit empty air instead. He shook his head to clear his vision, and all but the Pinky on the far left vanished.

Pinky didn’t stay put for long, darting past Brain. He hauled himself up the table leg and onto a light blue tablecloth. “You have to come up and see this, Brain!” Pinky squealed, peering over the edge of the table, his tail wagging beside him. “There’s an entire fence made of Legos here!”

Brain sighed, wondering if it was an exercise in futility to get Pinky to focus on the task at hand. “This is the last time I’ll repeat myself!” Brain shouted as he climbed up to retrieve Pinky. “We’re here for the clothes and-”

Though Brain only took fifteen seconds to ascend, Pinky managed to don a cropped, checkered top that showed off his slender stomach and a very short blue skirt in that short timeframe.

“Well, what do you think?” Pinky giggled and twirled in circles, the skirt flying in a graceful arc around his waist. “I could go square dancin’ in this, pardner! Yee-narf!”

Realizing he’d been staring at Pinky’s exposed stomach rather than making proper eye contact, Brain quickly turned away and pretended to find a row of small toy cars interesting. Next to the toy cars, there was a menagerie of small, plastic animals penned in by a colorful fence.

Part of a garden themed jigsaw puzzle served as a lawn under his feet, the pieces leading up to an enormous pink dollhouse.

Pinky took off the clothes he’d tried on, neatly threading a bent wire through the crop top and skirt and hanging them on a piece of string that served as a makeshift clothesline. There were five different clotheslines, each stocked to the brim with a variety of colorful articles.

Brain thumbed through the selection, though he didn’t feel an attachment to any of these pieces. While these clothes were designed for toys, most of them were still too big for him.

Finding something that would fit would be more difficult than he realized.

There was a large empty space past all the clotheslines, but it seemed it would be filled in soon enough. The display had all the signs of being a work in progress, and Brain couldn’t help but wonder who had the patience to put all this together. Certainly not the bored workers at the registers.

It was a welcome splash of creativity from the rest of the dull store.

“Poit. This is exactly how I imagined my dream home to be,” Pinky said in awe. He walked up to the front door and popped it open, revealing a spacious interior. Brain followed Pinky inside and they explored the first floor together, which contained a kitchen, living room, and a playroom.

“I really like the coloring on those kitchen cabinets, and the fireplace is a great touch! Very retro. And the kiddies will have a grand ol’ time in the playroom,” Pinky said as they climbed the staircase to the second floor and walked through two bedrooms and a bathroom.

“Marble countertops would make the kitchen and bathroom more refined,” Brain argued. Really, did Pinky want any visitors to think uncivilized brutes owned the house? “But the fireplace is a welcome touch.”

Pinky shrugged as they entered the master bedroom. “It’s fine as is. Now if the backyard was bigger with a dolphin-shaped swimming pool, that would be really, really amazing!”

And Brain preferred marble countertops, but since he wouldn’t be getting everything he wanted, neither would Pinky.

Brain sat on the large bed that took up half the room, the fluffy covers soft and welcoming. But they were on a mission, and future world rulers didn’t roll around on beds in an undignified manner, no matter how tempting it was.

Pinky threw open the closet doors, revealing more clothing inside. “Oh, these pajamas are lovely!” he said, pressing a yellow nightgown close to his body.

“Anything that would suit our purposes?” Brain asked. In hindsight, doing some research into what people wore for masquerade balls would’ve been helpful. He didn’t know why it slipped his mind. Perhaps Pinky’s scatterbrained traits were contagious.

“Hmmm, it’s all pajamas and casual wear,” Pinky said, flicking through the different articles. He closed the doors and reopened them, as if the formal wear would magically appear if they were out of sight. “No suits for you or the porpoises, Brain.” And he’d been so hopeful too.

“Maybe we can find something in the aisles,” Pinky said.

A sensible suggestion, for once.

Brain tried not to appear reluctant to leave the bed, but necessity demanded it. As he stood up, the fur on his neck pricked, his ears twitching towards the large window in the bedroom.

An odd sense that he was being watched came over him, and when he turned to look at the window, he saw a Terran’s eye peering into the balcony.

They stared at each other.

Then the eye blinked.

And Brain was suddenly very, very glad Snowball wasn’t here to bear witness, or he’d never hear the end of how he’d leapt onto Pinky’s back in his moment of panic.

Pinky yelped, and so did the Terran outside the window. There were several loud thuds, followed by a frantic apology.

Brain released Pinky, rubbing his face to get rid of the blush as he ran down the staircase and out the front door.

“S-sorry!” a young woman stammered as she bent down to pick up several packages of toys, only to lose her large glasses on the floor in the process. She wore the standard uniform of the store. “I didn’t think anyone would be inside! I thought one of the furniture pieces fell over, that’s all!”

Pinky hopped down from the table, picking up the woman’s glasses and pressing them into her hand. “It’s okay!” he chirped. “You scared us good, but now we can laugh about it! Oh, your name tag says Sharon! What a lovely name! I’m Pinky, that chubby alien up there is Brain, and we’re going to a party this weekend where we’ll raise awareness for the plight of frosted animal crackers!”

“That’s not the event’s objective,” Brain corrected, and he had no choice but to let Pinky come to his own conclusions. Stealing the secret weapon on Lamont property would remain classified information as promised. “And if you call me chubby again, I shall have to hurt you.”

Sharon took her glasses from Pinky with a tentative smile, then let him climb up her arm and onto her shoulder. “Zort! You have very good taste in Polly Pocket dolls!” Pinky said, peering down at the packages in her hands. “Do you collect?”

Sharon blushed. “I, um, have a lot of Beanie Babies at home. I’m not really interested in Polly Pockets, but they’d fit much better in this display than a standard Barbie.” She glanced at Brain. “I’m sorry, could you please move? I’m putting a few things in that area.”

Brain moved out of the way as Sharon carefully opened the packages. Then she placed several small tables and chairs in the empty space next to the clotheslines, bending the dolls’ legs into sitting positions and placing them on the chairs. She worked slowly and diligently, taking great caution to not knock anything over or break the items.

“Did you make all this?” Pinky asked. “It’s amazing!”

“Y-yeah, I did. The display, I mean. Not the toys.” Sharon didn’t look at Pinky as she straightened one of the Lego fences. “Store’s been on the decline, and because there’s not really much to do, I’m trying to create a few displays to generate some interest. The toys in this one were supposed to be thrown away since nobody’s buying them, even on clearance, but it just seemed so wasteful.”

She was resourceful. It was a valuable trait, but she seemed more embarrassed than anything.

“Take pride, Sharon. It’s an excellent use of parts,” Brain advised.

Pinky nodded eagerly. “And you’re saving the toys from the evil furnace! I’m sure they’re very grateful to you when you’re not looking!”

“You...you really like it?” Sharon lifted her glasses and wiped a tear from her eye. “Nobody’s ever really noticed my efforts around here.”

“Well, they should!” Pinky declared. “I’ll tell them so myself!”

Sharon smiled as Pinky hugged her face, then rejoined Brain on the table. “Thanks, but I don’t think you came to this store just to invade a toy home.”

“No, we didn’t,” Brain said, seeing his opportunity and seizing it. “We require formal clothes for a masquerade ball, and unfortunately, we haven’t seen anything of interest yet.”

“There’s plenty of interesting things in here, Brain,” Pinky said. “Like the busybody bees up on the ceiling!”

Apparently they had two very different definitions of interesting.

“Well, I can bring out some items from the back,” Sharon offered. “We had to pull the entire line of formal Zuma Ben accessories last week. Some parents found the outfits a little scandalous for their kids, so now the accessories are just going in the trash. But maybe you’ll find something to wear from the pile. Be right back, guys!” She walked away, her steps growing slightly more confident.

“Real Zuma Ben accessories?” Pinky clasped his hands to his cheek. “I’ve never worn anything like that before!”

“It’s just a name,” Brain said. He didn’t see why Pinky was treating Zuma Ben’s name like a sacred object. “As long as we’re dressed to impress, the name doesn’t matter.”

“I just think they’re pretty,” Pinky replied. “And I like looking at them, even if I can’t buy anything. Still, I’m really happy with the clothes I have now.”

But Pinky had a sizable wardrobe. Those clothes had to come from somewhere.

“So how did you obtain your clothes if you never bought them?” Brain asked.

Pinky smiled. “The scientists. They’ll drop clothes into my cage, which is really nice of them! One time, I put on this pretty sundress they gave me and I started itching really bad. I was jumping around like a tiny monkey and I managed to make them all laugh! I must’ve been quite the sight!”

Pinky laughed at the memory, but Brain was more disturbed at how the blatant act of humiliation didn’t affect him in the slightest. Then the laugh faltered and restarted at a higher pitch.

No, that initial assessment was wrong. True, Pinky could withstand many things, but not even the most resilient being could tolerate the sound of mockery for long.

Should he say something? Was an ‘I’m sorry’ sufficient? Was there any act of comfort that didn’t involve unnecessary physical contact?

Brain wanted to be decisive, but dozens of scenarios played out in his head, and none of them led to a satisfactory outcome. Tell Pinky to cease his laughter, embrace him, talk about the weather. He didn’t know.

Emotions led to nothing but trouble.

“Quit staring,” Brain snapped when Pinky wouldn’t stop watching him like he wanted something.

Pinky’s ears fell, but Sharon came back before the pang of guilt could fully settle in Brain’s stomach.

“Thanks for waiting, guys,” Sharon said as she dumped the accessory packages onto the table. “See anything you like?”

“All of them!” Pinky declared, happily tossing a three-pack of formal dresses into the air. He tried tearing it open, but the packaging wouldn’t give. Sharon helpfully tore it open for him, and Pinky made a happy, grateful sound before pulling a sparkly purple dress over his body. He twirled around. “So how do I look?”

“Lovely,” Sharon giggled as she pulled out her phone. She set it against the Lego fence, allowing Pinky to see himself in the camera app.

“I’ll put this as a maybe,” Pinky said. “But I have to give all the dresses a chance too!”

He tried four other dresses on in quick succession, and all of them went into the maybe pile.

Meanwhile, Brain searched through his choices of men’s formal wear. He wanted the best possible option for successful infiltration, but he didn’t know much about Terran fashion. His nose wrinkled at a powdered blue suit with far too many ruffles. He was fairly certain that wouldn’t garner respect on any planet, so he pushed the offending pack away from his other options.

The pure white suit would get stained too easily. He needed something darker. That one was out.

“Hey Brain, what about this one?” Pinky asked. He now wore a long sleeved lime green dress, which Brain found extremely tacky and unappealing to the eyes. Not even Pinky could salvage that monstrosity. Yet in Pinky’s hands, there was a black suit with a white shirt underneath. Not extravagant by any means, but since the coloration was similar to his conquering attire, it was the most probable choice by far.

But while Pinky was comfortable with changing in front of others, Brain wasn’t so keen on the idea.

“I require privacy,” Brain said. He took the suit from Pinky and went inside the house, shutting the door behind him and ensuring the shutters were closed.

Then he removed his gloves and jumpsuit, shivering from the cold air as he laid the items over a chair. He put on the new set of pants first, then the white collared shirt, and finally buttoned the jacket over his abdomen.

Well, it was comfortable. And it hid most of his stomach too, which was also a positive. But he needed to see how it looked in the light before making a judgment call, so he rejoined Pinky and Sharon, who were playing with different filters on her phone while Pinky wore a magnificent feathery pink dress.

“Now you really look like a flamingo,” Sharon laughed as Pinky changed the filter to sepia, the image now different shades of tan. Pinky blew a kiss to the camera. “This one’s my favorite so far,” Pinky declared with a graceful curtsey.

And the sleeveless feathery dress did seem to match his personality much better than all the other dresses. Flamboyant and quirky, but inviting and friendly as well. A darker pink feather boa was draped over his shoulders, and purple feathers fanned out from the back of his neck. A light green choker was wrapped around his neck. Then Pinky added a matching headband with a light pink tuft to complete the ensemble.

“That will certainly make an excellent first impression on the partygoers,” Brain said.

Pinky changed the phone filter back to normal with one hand, playing with the feather boa in his other. “Egad, you really think so?” he exclaimed. “Hold on a sec, Brain. Where’s the rest of your outfit?”

“Rest of?” Brain echoed. “This doesn’t require anything else.”

Pinky shook his head and dug a red bow and matching sash out of the clothes pile. “You need a few splashes of color, Brain! Or you’ll just end up a sad wilty wallflower!”

“They’d really match your circles,” Sharon added.

Well, he’d always looked good in red. It was a bold, attention-grabbing color.

Brain draped the sash over his shoulder and fastened the bow around his ear, checking himself over in Sharon’s phone. Then Pinky and Sharon started giggling for some odd reason.

“What?” Brain asked. He was presentable at a formal event now, wasn’t he?

“You’re kinda wearing it wrong,” Sharon admitted.

His ears flattened from embarrassment. Selenians typically wore practical jumpsuits with minimal accessories, and none of their databanks ever mentioned Terran outfits. They must’ve found it unimportant.

“Don’t worry, Brain. It’s an easy fix! May I?” Pinky exclaimed.

Brain nodded his permission, and Pinky removed the bow from Brain’s ear and carefully fastened it underneath his collar, taking great care to not pull the bow too tightly around his neck.

“So this isn’t a sash. It’s a cummerbund and you wear it around your stomach,” Pinky explained as he demonstrated the proper way to wear it. It was relieving to know Terrans made accessories that would hide the slight bulge, and Brain donned the cummerbund correctly.

The accessories really did match his orbs. For the first time, he was dressed to the nines and it was a glorious feeling indeed.

“Aw, you’re both so spiffy!” Sharon exclaimed. “Mind if I put a photo of this on the Twitter page to boost some interest?”

“We’ll return the favor,” Brain said. She deserved some reward for helping them out anyway.

Sharon turned her phone around, ready to snap the picture when Pinky suddenly darted out of frame. “Hold on! Narf!” he cried, shoving a small blue butterfly-themed mask into Brain’s hands and flipping a pink feathery mask over his face. “It’s a masquerade ball, you know!”

While Brain’s mask only covered the area around his eyes, Pinky’s face was mostly hidden by his birdlike mask, leaving only his bright blue eyes exposed.

“Doesn’t that tickle?” Brain inquired as Pinky stretched his boa out for a picture.

Pinky shrugged. “A little. But I don’t mind!”

“Smile for the camera, you guys!” Sharon grinned.

Brain didn’t smile, but he stood in front of the toy house while Sharon snapped pictures and Pinky struck a different pose with every shot.

Pinky’s laughter rang joyously in Brain’s ears.

He would leave that sound behind in just a few days. But it was a small price to pay for the world.

End AN: Maybe this chapter is a little disjointed, but oh well. Sharon is based off the toy store worker who helps the mice in Brain’s Night Off.

I tried to do the math for the Monopoly game and even pulled out my Monopoly property cards so I could get the amounts correct, but if anything is inaccurate I am hereby excused from responsibility because I am a writer and not a mathematician. Yes i use that excuse every time but it’s true.

Brain's outfit comes from the tuxedo he wore in the reboot's Future Brain episode. Pluto designed Pinky's outfit herself (somehow we both were thinking lots of pink feathers for Pinky) and deserves all the credit for it cause it's so beautiful. I chose a butterfly mask for Brain and a flamingo theme for Pinky.

#pinky and the brain #patb fanfiction #patb nova

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have-some-popcorn · 3 years

Text

Hold my popcorn

With mixed emotions I am eating my popcorn. For some reason I feel like writing a long ass essay. So here goes....

From the moment Todd erased everything linked to his notwhorosethinks alias online, I dove into the rabbit hole regarding the controversy about Todd’s sudden “retirement”.

My first guess was: “This is probably about some chick.”

(Funny, how intuition has never failed me for the most part.)

I’ve been following Todd [notwhorosethinks] off and on for quite a while now. Maybe two years. I’ve enjoyed listening to both his SFW and NSFW content. His deep voice was soothing during sleepless nights. He could be reading the ingredients off of a soup can and it would still sound amazing. It surely helped me through this pandemic as it did to many others.

By this point, I think I’ve listened to almost all of the available audios on Reddit and Patreon. Going all the way back to maybe 2018, maybe even earlier. To me, he was a voice actor with real potential and he could be doing so much more with that voice.

My 1st guess turns out to be sorta true. But, it just wasn’t some chick. It was several chicks. All with claims about Todd mistreating them terribly. There’s this woman he dated in real life, a few (barely legal) young listeners he sexted with and maybe there is more that will be revealed in time.

Several statements have been published on Twitter and Tumbler. If you haven’t read any yet, I suggest starting with this statement made by AlodiaThaliel :

https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sro01f?new_post=true

There is a complete catalogue now, with links to all the recent statements and updates revolving the drama around Todd, made by @the-nwrt-librarian

You can find it here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZyJ5BTQhXodGCosaTuyc7DvFD0Vniz38V4Q3dVxVU7U/edit

Not excusing the guy for what he did. But let’s face it; He made porn for a living. Maybe he started out with the NSFW content as a means to get laid? There are a lot of lonely horny people out there who do that... Maybe along the way he met his now ex-girlfriend. Maybe he did wanted to stop with NSFW content and the private interaction with listeners. Clearly, there was and probably is a lot going on with him....

I remember how upset he sounded in one of his last rambles about people not appreciating his SFW content. How he wanted to move away from NSFW content. Then again, with over 2000 patrons and audios on Syrin, the NSFW content made him some decent money...

It’s just so... The irony is that this man had a long ass F.A.Q. on which he stated how he doesn’t want to interact with his listeners privately on whatever platform. I believed that. A lot of people believed that.

Right now. As I sit here, with my popcorn getting cold, I still cannot fully believe it. I mean, I do believe the people who came out with their claims. If so many people come with an almost similar story, then how can it not be true? Where there’s smoke, there is fire. Right?

Several statements have been made. But there is one person who hasn’t made a statement yet.

If there’s a chance you read this, Todd: This puddle of mud that you’re in right now isn’t looking too good, man. It would show some real character if you would bring out your own statement upon the matter. But maybe you don’t care? Or you’re just chicken? I don’t know. Just curious. As many other followers of you and your content probably are.

To those who’ve had bad encounters with this man; I am truly sorry you had to go through all of that. I imagine my own 18 year old daughter and just get really pissed off just thinking about it. It’s not ok when someone uses you for their own pleasures while hurting you in the process. Regardless whether intentional or not.

I would like to close with this short statement:

People who are too sensitive should not be playing around with random strangers on the internet. The outcome could be ugly, people could get hurt. Always be careful and be safe.

Seriously though. What is up with this new drama show? And where is my popcorn?

#notwhorosethinks #internet drama #nwrt

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toujoursmiraculous · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on the New York Special!

I never thought I’d see such an episode but here we are. I think I screamed a dozen times or more, I’m not even sure. But I have a sore, scratchy throat to show for it and I’m okay with that. Most of it was at how many times Adrien kept being not-just-a-friend and both secondhand embarrassment and pity for Marinette’s attempt to see him only as a friend kicked in. But I’ll start from the beginning. No, the voice actors aren’t different, the audio’s been manipulated and is pitched down! **Except Nino. Nino’s voice actor resigned and has been replaced**

Ladynoir friendship + a glimpse of their Astro forms? Heck yes!

Ms. Bustier having a baby was something I had a feeling about but can’t actually believe it’s happening and I’m just so happy for her. Best teacher award should go to her and her student’s reactions just prove that.

“Adrien, you’re our Sock Washington!”

this is his version of Marinette’s

“You’re our everyday Ladybug.”

Sad Adrien and trying-too-hard-to-be-just-friends-Marinette interact and she’ll do what she has to do to get him to go along.

Honestly, I think Marinette trying not to reveal her feelings is better than this, this is just painful to watch her try so hard. Dx

Sad Adrien not being able to fence properly so Kagami who he possibly? likely? is dating, considering she kissed him, asks what’s wrong.

You know, instead of what a good girlfriend/love interest/friend would do and try to sympathize and attempt to make him feel better, she pushes aside his feelings and makes it about her... Oh Kagami, this won’t bode well. Poor Adrien deserves better than being told he and his feelings aren’t as important. He gets plenty of that at home.

Absolutely love the attention Gorilla gets in this, it’s so cute.

LUKA IS THE BEST FRIEND EVER UGH. How many girls have a guy in their life that has feelings for them, yes, but still would do anything that would make her happy, even be with someone else? Who would go to lengths to make sure things work out how she wants them?

Okay, the whole plane scene before everyone fell asleep was intense. I can feel Marinette’s anxiety and desperation so hard, I feel so bad.

I also feel bad that Adrien sounded disappointed by her not sitting by him (and probably doesn’t quite understand why she won’t, either) as well as Ms. Mendeleiev knowing her students think less of her than Ms. Bustier and doesn’t like that.

AND also that both Marinette and Adrien for having to feel guilty for making a trip out of the country. :/ Nobody deserves it more than them.

Wow, that’s a lot of things to feel bad about early on.

Marinette’s luck really sucks on this trip, doesn’t it? Turbulence in the bathroom. Yikes. But of all people to notice her walk by, it has to be Adrien while they watch the beautiful sunset together. Of course it does. It’s like he has some sensor that knows when Marinette is sad or something. x3

Adrien, looking sweetly and IN LOVE at her: “You’ve got something, Marinette...”

“So-something?”

“Yeah, there. In your hair.”

....

Alya: I can’t decide if they’re the cutest people I know, or the most embarrassing.

Nino: I love Adrien, but he’s like a baby chick that just started cracking out of his egg.

I- They’re just so done 😂

Then you see more of Alya/Nino and their Operation New York plan and it’s freaking adorable, but you think Adrien’s done talking but OH NO there’s more

“...Well, what I meant to say was...thanks for managing to convince my father. *gives her a hug*”

Okay, first off

OH MY GOSH I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS. THIS IS JUST SO SWEET AND CUTE AHHH THIS IS THE FIRST ADRIENETTE HUG EVER! I screamed so loud I just... my heart is so happy. ;~;

Second,

slyly grinning

IS THIS NERVOUS ADRIEN, I SEE? He tried to say it the first time but chickened out. 😉

Also, you cannot convince me that when they both went and sat back in their seats, anxious as the plane was getting attacked, that they would not be holding hands if Marinette had actually ended up sitting by him.

Aeon sees them together for ONE MINUTE. Just one. And she knows. To all the people that

still

somehow doubt that they’ll be together...what will it take for you to realize that they are?

Sabrina liking that boy makes me so happy, she actually gets some scenes that aren’t related to Chloe!

Alya: And you might make a friend. *elbows Mari*

Marinette: 😑

Hehehe the teasing’s not gonna stop, you set yourself up for this.

I’ve counted people referring to Marinette and Adrien as “friends” of some degree 21 times so far. Let’s see what it gets to at the end.

Class: We just got here but LET’S SNEAK OUT TO GO TO A PARTY....and almost get busted.

The sound effects in this are everything, I adore them. xDDD

The way Adrien smiled at Marinette when they had their backs to the door, and how his smile faded when he realized they weren’t alone. 😂

Jess: Ugh people in my room

Aeon: HAHA THEY’RE SO ADORABLE THIS IS THE BEST. I TOLD YOU THEY’RE MADE FOR EACH OTHER

Marinette: Is it a bird?

Adrien: Is it a plane?

Sabrina’s crush: No, it’s Hot Dog Dan!

Why do you have to get me with that xDD

Okay, but the girl saying “Go Sabrina!” made me happy too ugh. Just the fact that Sabrina came to America and people like her is just the best.

Highpitched!Nino: FINALLY, MY CHICKS WINGS ARE GROWING

Not that the show didn’t make me laugh before but dang, I keep laughing at this humor. It’s like a crack video mixed with the sweetest romance.

“OH! That’s the song we danced to at Chloe’s birthday party, remember?”

“Oh, yes, hahah”

looks at her sweetly, shyly

“Then...will you?”

ADRIEN, MY LOVE, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING THROUGH THAT PRETTY HEAD OF YOURS. So... you remember. And it makes you happy. And you, again, nervously ask her. To dance with you. Again.

You’ve looked at her with the most soft of expressions more times in under an hour than I’ve seen anyone look at someone

ever

. Uggggh the way he’s falling for her is just so sweet.

And I’ve lost count of how many “friends” there have been due to the overwhelming cuteness. I think 25?

The fact that Adrien and Marinette can’t get through an automated door. I’m wondering what’s causing that? The fact both have a Kwami with them? Is Aeon messing with them? I don’t really think the latter is happening so I’m puzzled but it’s hilarious.

“I don’t mind being stuck somewhere with a friend like you” with the most adorable expression on his face ever.

ADRIEN PLEASE, ARE YOU TRYING TO DESTROY ME WITH THIS?

Jess: And in order to save him...

Aeon: Don’t kidnap him, I LOVE him!

😂 I wanted Jess’s plan to work out so badly though.

Maybe next time.

Miraculous out here teaching American history. 👍 Totally forgot Lafayette was only 19 when he arrived in America and asked to become a general, but he had just turned 20 when he fought his first battle. The white powdered wig always threw me off of everyone’s real ages.

I think this is the closest Marinette and Adrien have transformed out in the open like this.

Ooof @ pissed off and sarcastic Ladybug.

Chat Noir: I was afraid of losing your trust!

Ladybug: Well I can’t trust you anymore, can I?!

Ooohh that hurts. That really hurts. And that distraction like that really went bad. Good thing Aeon’s not human. x.x I really do feel like them finding out their identities would solve more problems than it’d cause at this point.

I get that the situation was bad, but excuse me, they have no right to demand their Miraculouses. Ladybug’s the

Guardian

Knight Owl: “Stop right there, that’s an order.”

LB & CN: WE DON’T ANSWER TO YOU

Lol love the way they ran off and got away without being seen.

Sad and in pain Ladynoir. Wow, this whole scene feels so mature.

And Marinette’s reaction to Chat Noir renouncing Plagg and crying as he ran away hurt so much. I was not expecting all the angst!

Poor Adrien’s traumatized now. He knows he’s lucky she wasn’t human and things worked out, but he also knows that he came this close to Cataclysming Ladybug, and he couldn’t deal with that.

Liiri is so cute I want to see more of her! Very grateful she doesn’t end up in the hands of Gabriel for long.

But really Gabriel, it would’ve been smarter to take it to Paris than give it to a villain in New York where it ends up with a superhero. xD

Depressed Plagg is another level of ouch. Depressed Marinette and Adrien looking at each other like they’re about to cry is yet another.

Marinette about Chat Noir: He made his choice. What were we supposed to do?

Adrien: I wouldn’t have minded being stuck here a little longer with a friend like you.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO why did you have to go there again?

And then she gasps and really looks like she’s going to burst into tears, and then he gets even

sadder. “My father’s right, I should’ve never come to New York.” Alya: “What is wrong with you, Marinette?! Couldn’t you see that he was just waiting for you to tell him to stay?” “He made his choice. What did you expect me to do?” “It doesn’t matter what I expected you to do! Who’s Adrien to you? A friend or more than a friend? There will never be a better time to be clear with yourself, Marinette! Do you want him to leave or do you want him to stay?”

Within minutes, Marinette said the same thing about both Chat Noir and Adrien. o.o

Also hold up. If what Alya’s saying is true, which very well could be considering how he went from looking sad but still smiling, to looking utterly crushed after saying that line to her and her reaction, and the fact he said it before... Along with every single thing he did the whole trip.... Are we missing something, here? At first I thought it’s just Adrien being Adrien but about to actually acknowledge his feelings, just not yet. Seeing just the trailer I thought it was gratitude maybe, but obviously this is much more than that. But is it possible at all that he already has and, considering how she’s told him she doesn’t have feelings for him more than once before, that he’s been hoping to drive her to say otherwise this entire time and find out if she actually really does have feelings for him? 🤔

Because dang that’d explain everything he’s been doing.

I know he’s hurting over what happened with Uncanny Valley and giving up his Miraculous and leaving Ladybug. But it

still

came down to him with Marinette, looking at her like that was his last bit of hope and happiness he wanted to hold onto and was dashed....

NOT OKAY.

Again, Marinette’s luck on this trip SUCKS so much what the heck, you can’t even let her phone have battery??

Her rushing after him in the pouring rain on a bike screaming for him to stay and then falling hard (oof mustn’t have felt good for Plagg and Tikki) to just lie there in the street whispering “Adrien I...love you,” broke me. It really did. It’s so beautiful and so sad and I just want them to be happy oh gosh. 😭

But please get out of the road sweetie, you’re going to get run over.

By the way, I think I’m at 29 times they referred to each other or others referred to them as friends. Not sure though, I lost count and my heart’s a mess.

So Majestia decided to just blow skyscrapers far through the city and into the water that would no doubt kill everyone inside... in New York City...where skyscrapers were literally destroyed in real life killing thousands? I really hope this isn’t supposed to be a kind of reference.

Also the President of the United States being a superheroine that’s in harms way interacting with supervillains that can do horrific things such as forcing her to spill national secrets or use her power from things such as mind control to control the nation, for example, probably isn’t the smartest thing to do. Cool for plot but dang that’s dangerous.

You know, like right now when he’s making her press the nuke button where a million missiles and bombs are getting ready to go.

“I don’t know if I can do this. I can’t imagine being Ladybug without...

him

.”

“I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in her eyes.”

I’m not crying. This isn’t twisting my heart all up at all. X.x

But yes the action and Astro Chat! He looks so cool flying through the sky like that omg. He’s BAT CHAT

But the way she just ran and hugged him, saying never to do that to her again.

And how he returned that hug and she hugged him tighter and then wiped her tears away.

This is everything. Absolutely everything. I could watch this a thousand times and not be sick of it.

He also after this better know how much he truly means to her.

Hawk Moth: Ladybug, Chat Noir, if you don’t do as I ask, I will launch a nuclear rocket that will undoubtedly start World War III. If you don’t do as I ask, it will be on you.TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

Geez, you think he can’t get any crazier and he just does. How would another World War help him live happily ever after? Unless he could use two wishes to undo it once he got their Miraculous. Hm.

Majestia is like Captain Marvel because she’s the only other superhero I’m familiar with that could launch a rocket to the sun with her hands.

The animation in this is so beautiful. I haven’t said it yet, but some of the scenes are so breathtaking.

I’m sad that Aeon won’t remember they’re Ladybug and Chat Noir, but surely she’ll remember Adrien, Marinette, Ladybug, and Chat Noir right? x.x

And appreciation to Nadja Chamack for letting Parisans know Ladybug and Chat Noir didn’t abandon them, but just had serious issues to attend to elsewhere.

Wow there’s an ice sculpture/statue of sorts in New York of Ladybug and Chat Noir (along with Uncanny Valley and Eagle) now? Sweet!

Okay, I believe it’s 30 times now that “friend” is used. I may be off, I got really into it the second time watching when I was counting and it’s too late to be serious about it.

Hmm, Marinette can ask herself

the question

on her way back to Paris the following day. I’m assuming about how she feels and if she should still try to let him know her feelings?

Also that Adrien smile, knowing full well Marinette was responsible for that clip for him. Awwww x33

Ohh that ending I’m so looking forward to seeing more of Eagle, Uncanny Valley, and possibly that new superhero team with the new Miraculous.

This special was as if they took the best from S1-S3, then threw in a bunch of amazing new things that I couldn’t have thought would happen, and gave us such an amazing special. Also that it opened up things for the next special and S4! I don’t think I could’ve asked for much better. I’ve missed this show terribly and love that it’s back in a way.

Also terribly sorry for such a long post but I mean the thing was 52 minutes long after all. xD

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manggaetteokkie · 4 years

Note

So what are your top 5 favorite BTS songs and then top 5 favorite BTS videos?

Then what are you top 5 favorite Jikook moments? Lol Haaaard questions

Gonna combine these two cause I think these are from the same anonie, who I’m starting to think likes to make people suffer djfhskdh (if it’s not from the same person, then big rip)

Sorry this took so long, I was really trying to narrow it down to top 5 and I think I still ended up failing... I actually do this with my friends but usually, we’re a little bit more generous by narrowing it down to stuff like: top 5 title tracks, top 5 rap-line, top 5 vocal line, top 5 albums, etc... Asking me top 5 songs from their entire discography is absolutely savage.

For my top 5 BTS songs (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER BECAUSE I BARELY NARROWED IT DOWN TO FIVE, YOU CANT MAKE ME RANK THEM):

Blood Sweat & Tears: the monarch, the goat, putting it simply, the absolute best. I honestly remember when the Wings short films started dropping, my friend and I panicked HARD because we were like “WTF IS GOING ON WHAT IS THIS”. And then the teaser dropped, and it was so different from the “typical” BTS we’ve been getting, so we were even more confused. But then... The MV dropped and that was honestly just such a massive turning point for everything. Also, as an ARMY with a Jimin bias, I almost didn’t survive it.

Attack on Bangtan: okay this is honestly just such a fun hype song that never gets old no matter how many times you listen to it? It’s honestly a classic and whenever it plays on Run BTS, I know I’m either about to witness an epic moment or it’s gonna send my ass on the floor from laughing. (Also, let us never forget Tae’s “Nico nico niiii~”)

I Need U: okay this was The song that got me learning all their names and holy shit, I’ve listened to this song so much, it’s currently 5th most played song (out of nearly 2k songs) in my iTunes with 1,338 plays. When one hears “Fall...”, one does not simply resist the urge to belt “EVERYTHANG” with feelings. Also, funnily enough, the one that first caught my eye was Yoongi, there was something so eye-catching about the way he rapped in such a despondent manner at the start of the mv.

House of Cards: I definitely need to put this one because I’ve listened to this song a total of 2,104 times, if you add the Prologue (short) version total (861) to the full length one (1,243). This was my “hoe” anthem long before My Time was born. I deadass fell in love with the song 10 seconds in, there was no saving me and you cannot stop anyone from doing emo bodyrolls when it comes up. Jikook’s bridge? I can’t sing to save my life but you can bet your ass I’m lipsyncing to that shit every single time.

I HATE THIS. I HATE PICKING THE LAST ONE, I WANT TO FIT THEIR ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY INTO THIS LAST SPOT FFFFFFF.

And now, the last one... can I cheat and throw Euphoria, Serendipity and Seesaw all at my 5th spot? Cause I REALLY can’t pick one out of these 3 skjdhfkshdkf I have such an emotional attachment to Serendipity and Euphoria at this point (DJ Swivel remix of Euphoria? Hello?? I almost cried??? You are me, I am you?? HMMM????), and Seesaw just really surprised me. I absolutely was not expecting it, but holy shit, Seesaw slapped and it slapped hard. At this point, I’m like, anything Yoongi touches turns to absolute gold, I can’t resist him.

Okay I have so many other faves (Spring Day, Baepsae, etc.) but since you only asked for top 5 and not, like, top 100, I have to stop myself here, but I also very curious about your top 5s if you guys wanna share!! Let’s see how well you do, only narrowing it down to 5.

For my top 5 BTS videos (I only counted Bangtan Bombs and live performances, excluding MVs, since you didn’t specify. Otherwise there are too many... just thinking about how many Run BTS episodes I could fit otherwise lmfao):

Perfect Man: I’m a Jimin stan. What did you expect, me to not include this masterpiece??

As I Told You: Good lord, Jungkook was so fkn attractive in a hockey jersey of all things. I honestly loved it so much, I can listen to the live audio as is.

2018 MMA - IDOL Intro Performance (3J focus): Again, I am a Jimin stan. But seriously, from Hobi hitting every. single. beat. while dancing on a raised platform, to Jimin’s fan dance (I streamed the show live and I couldn’t focus on anything else after), to JK lounging like the absolute king that he is, what’s not to love?

It’s Tricky Bangtan Bomb: oldie but goldie, honestly. All of them were babies but holy shit, if their casual dancing didn’t absolutely make me fall in love with them all over again. It honestly never gets old no matter how many times I watch it.

BTS Carpool Karaoke: I have to admit, I honestly got stuck picking the last one so I went with this one because I feel like this is a really really good video to introduce others to BTS to. From their amazing acapella vocals (JK belting Finesse lives in my mind rent free) to how they were so perfectly themselves? You had Hobi’s sunshine smile in the middle, Baby Mochi, Jin’s “I don’t know what he said, but let’s laugh ha ha ha ha”, etc.

Okay I have to admit something, I probably forgot like 90% of their videos so if any of you guys mention a video, I might go “AH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE SKDJFHKSH” so take this list more as a “bangtan videos you should 100% watch” :^)

For my top 5 jikook moments (you absolutely devil, how could you ask me such a question), in no particular order because, again, I actually cannot physically bring myself to rank them:

Jimin comforting a crying JK during LY: (6:05) the way Jimin ran over as soon as he saw Jungkook bent over, facing the backstage. My heart. And he kept JK company for a bit, making sure he was fine before leaving. This whole thing just makes my heart melt into a puddle no matter how many times I think/see about it because it’s like, the timing is just? Anpanman barely started and he just looked over, saw, and ran over. Jesus Christ.

That Jikook moment during SY Seoul Finale: Just how much comfort Jimin must represent for Jungkook to let the dam free once again just seeing his face aghhhhhasgdahj I literally made an entire post about that moment because of how incredibly soft it gets me. I’ve linked it but it’s also my pinned so it’s very easy to find.

“Are you guys dating?”: (start) holy shit okay so this moment is so sdjkfhkdshkfdhks the way both of them were so giggly? It never fails to make me laugh how absolutely done Joon sounded when he said “push quickly!” Also, just how soft did Jimin make his voice when he asked “are you ready”? and how JK, the single most competitive member of BTS, was just giggling the entire time and didn’t even try pushing Jimin before Jimin ended up eliminating himself. Not to mention how JK couldn’t into Jimin’s eyes and only finally made eye contact with at the very end :^)

MMA 2018: lmao okay so I’m just gonna throw this entire fkn night into the mix. I still remember how it was the wee hours in the morning for me when I started following the live stream and damn, they were literally inseparable the entire time. My TL was exploding in Jikook content and between watching them through the official broadcast and watching the fancams, I was BUSY. They did everything: whispering to each other’s ears, slinging their arms around each other’s shoulders, JK massaging JM’s nape, JK pulling JM down to sit... phew.

GCF in Tokyo: Okay so this is one of those things that the more you think about it, the more you can’t believe it’s real. I couldn’t not include this simply because of how meaningful the whole thing was. There’s so much about it that makes me ????? because JK really booked a two-person trip to Tokyo for Jimin’s birthday. And Jimin genuinely had fun on that trip. The whole thing just shows how comfortable the two of them are with each other because they’d never had gone on a trip together elsewise. I recently saw a Korean movie director’s reaction to GCF and the whole thing didn’t have any subs, but the two reactors were like “ohhh... these two... these two must be really close” (they’d reacted to BTS MVs before, but they’re not familiar with how the members are outside of that). From my limited Korean understanding, the movie director then commented “Because the model and the director are so close, it’s very natural” (if I’ve gotten any Korean followers, I’d love to get confirmation on the words said because my Korean understanding isn’t perfect and I don’t want to be spreading crap around). GCF in Tokyo is also the first video posted under the GCF label, with JK editing the whole thing himself. He filmed, he directed, he edited. And his main actor was Jimin.

I was this 👌🏻 close to adding LY lap sitting and Rose Bowl moments but I had other faves to include so I thought I’d go with something else :^) GCF forced its way into my list, I had no say in it.

Okay so I hope this was enough skdjfhkdshfs this post got really long cause I couldn’t help myself from giving reasons for why I included the ones I did, I’m sorry sjkfhdks Please feel free to share you’re own fave songs/videos/jikook moments!!

#thanks for the ask!#bts #bangtan #jimin #jungkook #jeongguk #jikook #kookmin #my post #my stuff #anon #anonymous #answered

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mmikmmik2 · 3 years

Text

First impressions of episodes five and six under the readmore

The Astro Queue Car

LMFAOOOOOO at Min-Gi jumping from polite and rule-abiding The Nice One to being a smug asshole. I'm so proud of him. Passive-aggressive-ing his little heart out.

PASSIVE AGGRESSION IS AN EXTREME SPORT AND MIN-GI IS WINNING.

But yeah, jokes aside, obviously Min-Gi should be treating Ryan better. I'm definitely interpreting this a lot as Min-Gi acting in perceived emotional self defense but there's probably also some malicious "SEE, YOU WERE WRONG TO GO ON WITHOUT ME" revenge here.

I saw several other people speculating that Ryan might like the train, and I definitely thought that was plausible too, but Min-Gi almost seemed to like in this episode getting to just hang out with Ryan and be superior the whole time. But I also definitely think his anger that (as he saw it, or wanted to believe he saw it) Ryan wasn't learning lessons was legitimate. Feel like both of the guys both have a lot of paradoxical simultaneously contradictory emotions going on and both keep failing to reach the core of their issues with themselves and with each other - it feels believable that they keep ping-ponging back to 202.

LOVED the moment where they realized the astronauts are all dead. Very visually cool and creepy, and I loved Min-Gi's realization that standing still could be just as much of a mistake as making the wrong move.

Love the continuing theme of like... rushing ahead alone, and refusing to follow, can both be forms of abandonment

When the lobby of the party tower got weird and I recognized it as the moment in the trailer when the Steward appeared, I legitimately started saying "YESSSS. YESSSS," over and over again out loud. I fucking love the Steward. And Kez freezing? Is that because she's a denizen? Oh my god. I hate seeing denizens harmed but I love when they have vulnerabilities because they're artificial beings (like Atticus being turned into a ghom - we have no definitive proof but I can't imagine Amelia could do that to a human - it feels obvious to me that the orbs could only be used to "reprogram" beings that were created by those orbs in the first place). Listen, seasons two and three spoiled me with existential horror and weirdness, but apart from /maybe/ Lake hitting the invisible walls in The Wasteland they never had any "REALITY IS RIPPING APART AT THE SEAMS" horror moments the way season one did (the sun spasming in the corgi car as the Steward put its claws into that miniature world's guts? the sky behind the sky in the unfinished car? Atticus's transformation? the half-finished world being built within the engine? so good, so juicy) and I am so, so hopeful we're gonna see the Steward bring some of that tastiness this season.

The Party Car

THIS EPISODE WAS SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD

FAVORITE OF THE SEASON SO FAR

Like it delivered on multiple levels

LOVE the development for the guys, love that Ryan tried to hide the Chicken Choice Judy shirt (looks like that logo is also one of the stickers on his guitar case? but the sticker isn't nearly as big a sign of vulnerability as keeping a shirt that's too small for him to wear just because Min-Gi made it for him) and Min-Gi tried to downplay his stylophone.

I really like that Min-Gi explicitly talked about anti-Asian bias and how he was worried they'd hit a glass ceiling (if that's the right phrase to use here?) even if they were relatively successful as musicians. I was expecting this season to make an effort to build on Ryan and Min-Gi's race as part of their characters, because I've gotten the impression the writers of InfTrain do care about doing that kind of thing right, but I assumed it would stay on the level of subtext and minor incidents like Min-Gi's manager mispronouncing his name. I'm glad the show got to go there and have a character talk about racism and how it affects him.

Loved that they repeated the part with Ryan on-stage waiting for Min-Gi, but this time Ryan didn't leave while Min-Gi stayed, they had a reassuring talk between the two of them where they came to understand each other better. I /love/ when InfTrain has moments like that, where characters redo a persistent narrative/theme in their life but change the ending.

Really though I felt so fucking bad for Ryan, I was like hearing the audio from the "You can pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half" meme when he was up on stage and realized Min-Gi wasn't coming, /again/

Really liked Kez being pigeonholed as "the funny one"/"the fuckup" in her friend group. Feels like a major theme this season is characters being afraid of being perceived as failures and trying to control what other people think of them.

Almost teared up at the final moment of Min-Gi inviting Kez to join the private party in the bathroom and him and Ryan quietly, comfortably jamming together. I'm gonna cry I love them all so much

LOOOOOOVED THE TRAIN LORE THIS EPISODE

I loved getting to see a mixed denizen friend group apparently roaming the car looking for parties, that was so juicy

THE FUCKING BOOTS ARE FOR CONTROLLING PASSENGERS? THEY'RE RESTRAINING BOLTS TO GLUE THEIR FEET TO THE FLOOR WHILE THE STEWARD IS TALKING TO THEM? THAT'S HORRIBLE AND I LOVE IT!!!!

So it looks like the jumpsuits and boots DID used to be standard issue for passengers, and Amelia just got her stuff back at some point between boarding and when we saw her in the season premiere! One wtf that sucks!!!

I love that there's this creepy procedure for the Steward to like deliver messages from on high, I love how weird and disturbing it was, I love that Kez iirc said something along the lines of being used to that (i.e. her getting frozen) happening sometimes HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? WHY ARE YOU LIKE THAT, ONE?

So, the Steward seemed to have been traveling through the train issuing that message to all passengers? I think that was implied in One's broadcast? So interesting, I wonder how many other changes in procedure have been implemented that way. My first impression was that One was using it to broadcast from a different car, but I guess it wasn't explicitly clear if he was using the Steward like a remote speaker or if he was behind that mask the whole time and just didn't feel the need to flip it up to address the guys more directly.

There was a moment where the Steward paused and there was muffled dialogue but I couldn't hear it at all... I don't have closed captions turned on right now (if they'll even work if I do turn them on, I cannot emphasize enough what a piece of shit the HBO Max website is)... my first thought was that One backed away from the "mic" while he and Amelia were talking (it would make sense if this change in procedure were something Amelia talked him into somehow?) but maybe that was his two personalities murmuring to each other? Hm.

#infinity train spoilers

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leverage-ot3 · 4 years

Text

notable moments from The First Contact Job

leverage 5.03

Sophie: Well, he’s setting his sights a bit higher now. Braddock Aeronautics is top-shelf.

Eliot: Military aircraft contractors. They used to stamp their logo on the engine cowls of our chopper, and we’d have to file them off before we... went fishing. For fish

sophie and nate: 👀👀👀

- - - - -

Parker: I’m going in through the vents. Bet I get there first.

Hardison: No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Parker: Winner chooses our next date. Ready, set, go!

Hardison: Wait! I-I wasn’t ready

they’re adorable

- - - - -

Parker: I win! I want to go bungee-jumping.

Hardison: Already did that. (hooks his laptop to the computer system)

Parker: Not off a hot-air balloon.

Hardison: I seriously need to win one of these bets

where doES SHE GET THESE IDEAS

- - - - -

Parker: See? Vents are better.

Hardison: It’s not that bad.

Parker: You’re totally surrounded by, like, a million of those dust-mite things. And you can’t even feel them, can you?

Hardison: Now I can.

Parker: Oh.

Hardison: All over. Okay!

parker made it go from sexy to scary for hardison real fucking quick LMAO

- - - - -

Hardison: Thought they were something, too, but it turns out they’re just audio recordings of static... hundreds of hours of it.

Nate: Hmm. Play them.

Sophie: Just sounds like one of your “mixes.”

Parker: I like it. Play the next one

parker: *waves hands and dances in her seat*

I love her, your honor

- - - - -

Eliot (enters room): Hardison, I said sea salt. This is iodized salt. Who got the military satellite intercept? You’re not supposed to...

(Sophie gives Eliot a hard look)

Eliot: It’s a very distinctive static

sophie’s scandalized look is everything

- - - - -

Nate: He’s listening to stars for proof of extraterrestrial life.

Parker: Cool. (pokes at Eliot)

Eliot: Oh, Parker.

Parker: Elliott.

Eliot: I’ll snap that off your han..

hardison: *smiles at parker annoying eliot because they’re a chaotic ot3*

- - - - -

Hardison: You know, Fermi’s Paradox says that it’s improbable for other life-forms to exist.

Eliot: Yeah? Well, Drake’s equation shows that orbiting around the hundred billion stars in our galaxy, there’s up to 10,000 planets with technological civilization. You never know when you might have to fight an alien.

Hardison: Okay

eliot: *speaks about smart, nerdy things*

hardison: 😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

- - - - -

Hardison: Now hop.

(Eliot begins to move, then stops and looks up angrily)

Hardison (watching Eliot’s movements on the monitor): Where’s you... where you going? Oh, no.

(the van begins to rock)

Hardison: Hey, man! Lucille’s a classic!

hardison: ...my actions have consequences?

- - - - -

Parker: Nate, we have liftoff. Get it? ‘cause of the...

she’s baby

- - - - -

Eliot: What the hell is that?

Hardison: Oh, that’s chase music, baby. Unh. Mixed it myself. Yeah. (singing) Two good old boys/Behind the wheel/Chasing down bad guys in Lucille/Two good old boys. Feel it.

Both (singing): Behind the wheel/Chasing down bad guys in Lucille/Two good old boys/Behind the wheel/Chasing down bad guys in Lucille. Hey! Two good old boys/Behind the wheel/Chasing down bad guys in Lucille

eliot: looks exasperatedly at hardison, like he can’t believe what he does to make him happy

- - - - -

Eliot: Oh, yeah. Can I get an orange soda?

eliot channeling his inner hardison

- - - - -

Parker: Cave-jumping?

(Parker and Hardison show their badges to the security guard before passing through metal detectors)

Parker: World’s deepest caves are in Potosi, Mexico.

Hardison: You’re really not listening to me about this whole jumping thing, are you.

Parker: Yes, I am.

(Parker and Hardison show badges to a guard at another security desk as they pass it)

Parker: You’re unhappy with the jumps we’ve been doing.

Hardison: Thank you.

Parker: I’m going higher so they can be better.

Hardison: No

poor hardison

also rip to hardison but I’m different, I’d JUMP to go on those dates with parker

- - - - -

Parker: --you cannot contact Mr. Bosley tonight. Will tomorrow morning do?

Kanack: Sure.

(Parker and Hardison fist bump)

Parker: Will it

their fist bump was so cute wtf

- - - - -

Eliot: All right, but... (sits at keyboard, muttering) Put your hands on me, I’ll break your frigging clavicle.

eliot: 😡

me: he’s a grumpy child

- - - - -

(Hardison shows Parker the wording of the warrant ‘CANDLELIGHT PICNIC UNDER THE STARS)

Parker: Ooh. Fire. I do like fire.

Hardison: You see. You listen, yet you don’t hear

she’s trying her best

- - - - -

(Guard grabs Sophie as she exits the building)

Sophie: I...

(Nate punches guard and knocks him down)

Sophie: Wouldn’t do that if I were you

protective!nate over sophie is the best

- - - - -

(Parker enters with a bin and points to her mouth, then to Eliot, where he is bleeding)

Parker (imitating ET): Ouch.

Eliot: Parker, would you stop with that? And help me get these damn guys off my back!

(Parker helps Eliot get the man off his back)

Eliot: Pick the guys up and put them in the bin.

(they pick the men up and start loading them in the bin)

Eliot: Hang on.

Parker: What?

Eliot: I got an idea

parker: *smiles excitedly*

- - - - -

Nate: That was nice work back there, Elliot.

Eliot (with accent): Oh, man, he flipped. He flipped like a coin. I wish Lenny would have seen it. (normal voice) Hardison gave me the alias, and then Sophie helped me build the character. (walks away)

Sophie: Oh, we just gave him layers. You know, I don’t know why Stanley Kubrick made directing look so hard. It’s... it’s not that hard

I L I V E for when eliot gets very into character, like with the baseball job or the country singer job

- - - - -

the ‘two good ole boys’ song playing as eliot, sophie and nate stare off with the mark

- - - - -

(Parker enters with a picnic basket and flowers)

Hardison: Hey. Problem? (sees basket) Oh. Well, a picnic under the stars. You listened.

Parker: Everything’s ruined with this stupid rain. I’m sorry. I tried.

Hardison: Close your eyes. Close them. Don’t peek. Close them. (dims the lights and turns on pin lights) Nothing is ruined. Okay. Now.

(Parker looks around and smiles)

Hardison: Hmm?

Parker (points finger at Hardison’s heart, imitating ET): I’ll be right here.

(they hug)

y’all I’m S O F T parker and hardison are soulmates

(eliot is their third soulmate tho they’re just not quite there yet)

#leverage #leverage 5.03 #leverage 5x03 #the first contact job #mine #notable moments #leverage season 5 #season 5

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desirableendings · 4 years

Text

Cancel culture

I’m so upset right now. I’m gonna try to put my thoughts in a coherent form but I’m afraid I won’t be completely capable.

This is about cancel culture and about how unhealthy and toxic it is both in the realm of cancelling people and cancelling works of fiction.

This is about in particular two situations that triggered this reaction on me that I consider both really dangerous, and though both probably came from an initial place of worry and accountability what they both achieved was the opposite.

I also come to tumblr, where probably almost no one will read me, but where I know cancel culture it’s more in hype. This is why I want this text to be on my blog, for anyone that follows me and anyone that might come after to see.

I’ll start with the problem of cancelling fiction. Because there’s a difference between being critic and wanting something to disappear from the face of the earth and fall into oblivion. You might think I’m exaggerating or using hyperbole to establish an argument, but I’m not. Cancel culture fueled by rage doesn’t look for reparation, doesn’t look for growth, doesn’t look for real accountability it looks to burn and destroy. Cancel culture it’s fueled by shame because those who foment it cannot stand something problematic to exist, but even worse cannot stand that to exist within them. Now tell me, how is this not close to burning books, something most conservative cultures have done several times when disagreeing with a particular posture or when fearful of the reaches of fiction to critical and open minded thinking.

Fiction is not there to paint you pretty worlds in which every single character it’s perfect for you, fiction it’s not there to be morally acceptable to you, fiction is not there to rewrite history and tell you an unproblematic version of it. Fiction is there to be read critically, to be interpreted, to be questioned and to question as well, that’s why it is highly feared by dictatorships and extreme governments. You read something (and by this I mean book, tv show, movie, audio, ANY type of fiction that its read when its interpreted) and you can point its flaws, see its blind spots, learn from its characters and then maybe get inspired and write something that speaks more closely to you. What cancel culture does, though, is not even read it critically, but just throw it to the fire pit and watch it burn while warning anyone else to not ever read it again, not form your own opinions, not create new critics, NOT held it accountable, because how can someone hold something accountable without having the chance of reading it? No, just ignore it, forget it, burn it, because it’s problematic.

My example for this is Hamilton. I’ve been hearing for ages that it has become problematic and thus it should be canceled, but until now I haven’t been able to reach the arguments behind it. But of course with the whole release from Disney everything exploded, and by everything I mean a weird mixture between the people that want to cancel Lin Manuel Miranda and the ones that want to cancel Hamilton, and the ones that mix both and conclude the best way of doing it it’s canceling Hamilton first. For the sake of this argument I will focus only in the canceling of Hamilton which gets based in four principal arguments: 1. It portrays as main characters problematic people who were real life slavers, and shows them instead as the heroes founding fathers of the USA, without addressing their problems one by one. 2. Lin Manuel Miranda’s relationship with Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico’s policies and the way he brought Hamilton to Puerto Rico. 3. Some well done critical articles that don’t cancel either, but rather present what happened and what both Lin Manuel Miranda and Hamilton should be held accountable critically, but instead are used to cancel both of them. 4. The fact that Alexander Hamilton, the real figure, it’s portrayed free of charge of also engaging in problematic behaviors specially those related to slavery and the creation of banks and kind of the capitalist culture of the US.

Now, in the sake of criticism and holding things accountable but NOT cancelling them, let’s address each one by one: 1. Hamilton its based in real people that were problematic, and slavers and racist, BUT that also coincidentally fought for the independence of the US and were the founding fathers, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can cancel them and want to forget they existed but the truth is that the US it’s what it is because of them and their actions, and actually most of today’s issues with race and capitalism are because of that history, and until we all accept the US comes from that we wont be able to change it and move on, REMEMBERING were it came from. Believe me, being a person of color that comes from colonialism and that had to come to the hard truth that I am what I am because of the people that came and killed and raped and stole, and that I even carry part of their blood because most latin American population is mixed race, and that just is what it is, I understand how hard but necessary this process is. Do I think Christopher Colombus should be praised each year and celebrated in statues all across the world? HELL NO, do I think we should all kill him in our memories forever and cancel him? HELL NO, because I come from that, it’s part of who I am, and I’ll remember him, but holding him accountable for the genocide and exploitation of the land and people of America, and for in the end forming part of the mixed race I belong to. Denying or canceling this or him would be canceling a part of myself that I HAVE TO LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. So, yes. The founding fathers were problematic, hell yeah, they were racist as well, but the musical Hamilton addresses this in some ways that the story Lin Manuel Miranda is trying to tell allows, without only focusing on it because that’s one of its flaws we have to hold the musical accountable for even if its out of the reach of the musical. What the musical actually DOES is that it casts people of color in their roles as a criticism and a way of saying that the US of now is not the white US they were trying to make back then, and that the power should shift, and OF COURSE he is criticizing slavery not only by the verses in the Cabinet Battle that everyone seemed to conveniently forget, but also in this subversion of casting and the way he decided to tell this very traditional part of history through RAP, a genre that comes and its largely belonging to black culture. This is actually a clever way of holding a history you cannot change, accountable for its previous violences, and also calling out current violences that people will only come to notice by watching the musical and questioning themselves about why they expect other cast, music and history, and that’s all in the nuances you can only get from READING through it.

While we are at it let’s address point 4: I don’t know which musical these people has been seeing but Hamilton is hardly a saint, neither presented as one, in the musical, he is a tragic character at best, he has a lot of qualities but these same qualities are the ones that condemn him to disgrace and ultimately early death. But he is mostly shown as a human, and I honestly don’t know in which part of cancel culture “human” started being equivalent to pure and free of charge but that’s far from it. Human means conscious, capable of mistakes and capable of causing hurt, but also capable of growing and reparation that heals oneself and others. Do I wished the musical would have been more critical of the way Hamilton introduced a capitalist culture as the best one and the way he criticized slavery but did nothing about it personally... yes, but the only way I can make this criticism and hold it accountable is because I watch and listened to it, took the good and identified the bad, and recognized both.

The second and third point have absolutely nothing to do with the musical whatsoever, but with its creator and the poor interpretation of proper criticism. And thus is that what should be held accountable, Lin Manuel Miranda as a person, and the situations that happened related to him and his decisions. Now, about the link of profit and “supporting” Hamilton, by all means don’t do this if you think him and the people involved (because a musical it’s never done by just one person), doesn’t deserve it. I, for one, I’m certain that Disney does not need or deserve a single dollar more, they are quite rich already. But not watching Hamilton when its eventually published in Disney + is miles away from erasing Hamilton from existing, not listening to its songs and forgetting about it because it is problematic. These last things are the equivalent of burning it, and I recommend listening to the song Burn from the same musical to learn about what fire does to words.

Now, the problem of cancelling people. If in fiction cancelling it’s equivalent to burning books in human beings its equivalent to murder, and I’m not exaggerating here either, because it is. And again here there’s a difference between holding people accountable for their mistakes and just erasing them from the face of the earth because they fucked up. And here the same problem as before stands, if you cancel them you are also taking away the opportunity of holding them accountable, because if there’s no one there to listen, then why would they even bother saying sorry and trying to fix their wrongs. Basically, cancelling people not only murders them but also gives them a free pass to be someone else and not repair those they hurt with their problematic behavior before. Like, what the fuck do you think happens in peace treaties after wars and process of reparation and restitution are in place? THE OPPOSITE OF CANCEL CULTURE. In reparation processes after a lot of violence has been done to victims, the process is to listen and hear words of repentance, that help victims heal and forgive, so BOTH parts can continue living a better life. Because turns out in the end we are all human beings that want to live and continue to live and we only get ONE life to do so, and if you take the chance for a person to live their lives, then how is that not taking also their lives away? How is not giving the possibility of growth and forgiveness not burning them alive, as if you get to choose over their future??

My example for this case is Jenna Marbles, and how ridiculous and upsetting is that people really wanted to cancel her from mistakes she made AGES ago, that she clearly grew from, as it’s evident from the person she is now and her everyday current actions, and also from the way she is clearly ashamed and upset about it, as it’s clear from the fact she had private the offensive videos so people didn’t reach them and get hurt by them. Jenna is a human being, that’s also clearly hurt by what she did but mostly from the fact that no matter what you do, how you repair, how you grow, the internet is fixated in letting you drown in your mistakes forever, and I’m sorry but how is that not killing someone and not letting them live their life to be a better person? How is that not as problematic as the so judged original behaviors?

In the end I just want for all of us to stop being so hypocritical at aiming judgements and cancelations at everyone else before looking at ourselves, our own violences and problems and understanding if we could grow and be critical of them to continue living, then so can others.

How about we let them do so.

#cancel culture #jenna marbles #hamilton #mine #rants & opinions #important stuff

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joie-university-rp · 4 years

Text

Dear DANTE NOIRE,

It is with great pleasure we invite you admission to Joie University! Welcome to the Thunderclap family!

Congratulations, JUSTIN! Please be sure to check the New Members’ Checklist and send in your character’s account within 24 hours from now. We cannot wait to see all that you will bring to this roleplay! We love you already!

OOC INFORMATION:

Name/Alias; pronouns: Justin, he/him

Age, Timezone: 20, MST

Activity, short explanation: 3-4 hours a day, after work.

Ships: Dante/Kurt since I am filling the connection. Dante/anyone.

Anti-Ships: Nothing.

Triggers: None for me.

Preferred photo for Character’s ID (please give a link): https://media.gq-magazine.co.uk/photos/5d138d392881cc034d0a7267/master/w_1280,c_limit/Adam-Driver-04-GQ-12Dec17_Dante-Brookes_b.jpg

Anything else: I’m filling this connection. https://joie-university-rp.tumblr.com/post/189809373804/requested-connection-for-kurt-hummel-suggested

IC INFORMATION:

Full Name (First, Middle, Last): Dante Matthew Noire

FC: Adam Driver

Age/Year at University (Freshman [1st Year], Sophomore, Junior, Senior, or Graduate Student): 24 years old, freshman/first year

Birth date (MONTH DAY, YEAR): August 13th, 1995

Hometown (please be sure to check the hometowns listed for characters your muse is related to!): Los Angeles, California

Gender/Pronouns: Male, he/him.

Sexuality: Pansexual

Major(s): Philosophy

Minor(s) [optional]: Songwriting/Music

Housing request (remember, only the president of a Greek Organization is required to live at a Greek House to be in it!): Schuester Dormitory Single Dorm 205

Extracurriculars (Click here for the list. Be sure to specify any executive board positions [i.e. president, secretary, etc.] If something isn’t listed, please put it here and we will add it to the masterlist!): Glee Club Member, Fencing Team Member

Greek Life Affiliation [optional] (Please be sure to specify any executive board positions [i.e. president, pledge educator, etc.] or if your character is not yet a member, but plans to rush): None.

CHARACTER PROFILE (TW; Alcohol abuse, suicidal tendencies):

Dante was born into a relatively normal upper-class family. His parents were a very successful pair, his mother a lawyer and his father a banking executive. He lived in peaceful comfort, went the best private schools for teaching, yet when it came time for him to start building towards a career path, he couldn’t seem to pick one. He was a joy in the classroom and had a knack for tutoring other students that struggled as well. Alas, he didn’t want to be a teacher like his mother recommended, or a social worker like his father suggested. He found his true home in the music room. His parents had him learn piano and other various instruments, including vocal lessons, much to their detriment. When it came to his senior year of high school with not a single college application submitted, Dante came clean to his parents; he wanted to be a musician.

He moved away from L.A. when his family rejected his selected career path, especially after they cut him off from his allowance. When he got to New York, he was dead-broke, but found a job quickly as a jazz -ballad singer and pianist at a couple bars around the city. He sang in parks and street corners, releasing self-written songs online, hoping one day he would get noticed. It wasn’t until he actually took a piece of his father’s advice that he started to gain fame; “Dress as if you already have the job when you go in for the interview.” So, Dante gave himself the new look, dressing like the jazzy, big band singers and performers of old, promoting his image as well as his music.

Dante’s relationship with Kurt ran along with his quest to fame. He met Kurt during one of his nights working at an underage-friendly jazz bar near NYADA’s campus. Due to his talents, the students that came in would tip him well. It was in September of 2016, one year into Dante’s tenure in New York, did he spot the other man in the same seat once a week. It didn’t take long for Dante to introduce himself. Kurt and Dante together felt like they were two puzzle pieces, making a complete picture. When Dante started to gain a small following online, he made efforts to separate his professional life from when he was at home. Kurt made him feel like he could be his true self, open and free, yet while he was on stage, performing for an audience of strangers, he was putting up an act. He knew Kurt’s voice was magnificent, but he never wanted Kurt to think he was using him like that to promote his own career. Dante loved Kurt, and he wanted to keep Kurt far away from his growing spotlight. Let Kurt find his own dream, his own claim to fame, with Dante supporting him the entire way. At least, that was the promise Dante proposed to Kurt with in 2017.

As his fame began to grow and explode, the lines between his face to his growing public and at home began to mix. Dante would come home shitfaced from some party, or a concert, or PR event. Photos online with him holding fans close, kissing their cheeks, and being flirtatious would come out in the tons each time he stepped outside. Kurt would have to sober Dante up, thwarting his attempts to get into his pants. Kurt never obliged while he was drunk, which would result in a heated argument. It wasn’t until the next morning that he would apologize. Trust became very thin, very quickly, turning into a vicious cycle, over and over. It was Dante returning from his first 3-month tour, as drunk as ever, that ended the relationship for good. Another argument had broken out, this time Kurt demanding to know why there were clips online of him running around some party with his hand in some girl’s back pocket. Dante became furious Kurt would think he cheated, yelling up and down it was just for PR. Kurt didn’t buy it, eventually locking himself in the bathroom when Dante threw a glass at him. It wasn’t until Dante woke up the next morning, somehow in his bed, that he realized just how badly he had fucked up. Kurt left him, with the ring on the kitchen counter, the glass cleaned, and fresh coffee brewing in the pot.

The depression that followed Kurt leaving had Dante near suicidal. He tried to find Kurt; his number was blocked, and when he contacted NYADA to find him, they said that he had dropped out. He was blocked on social media, using dummy accounts to find out none of them were being updated. Kurt had disappeared, and there was no way Dante could find him. He gave up, vanished for months from the public eye, nearly destroying his career in its infancy. In that time, Dante wrote songs, poems, and love letters for Kurt he could never send. When his agent demanded work from him, he just tossed the papers on the table in frustration, that having been his only work during that time. It was a good thing his agent had more business sense than Dante, recommending he commit his works to the studio, to audio, to music. And hence, his chart-topping, record breaking, radio dominating album, ‘To Kill the Canary’, was born. It tore away from his jazz swings of the past into a ballad genre, featuring less sax and more acoustic guitar. The day the album released, he saw the crowds form at his feet, resonating and praising his work. He was determined to live despite what happened, even if he couldn’t seem to move on.

With all this success, why attend Joie for a degree? He was set for life, he didn’t need more education. Dante’s agent thought the opposite. With the influence he held, and with him turning twenty-five in August, they thought it would look great for his image if he wasn’t just some good-looking musical flounce, doomed to fail when he was no longer dominating the public. They opted for the Emma Watson route; go to college. Get a degree. That way, he was a cut above all the others in his industry; he wasn’t just a talent, he was educated. He chose philosophy as his major over music because he already mastered music. He didn’t want college to be a complete waste of time, so he decided to learn something completely new. Joie was an easy choice for a university; it was a world-renown college, one his fans would recognize. The fact one of his dummy accounts notified him of a post to Kurt’s Instagram had absolutely nothing to do with this college selection. Nothing at all…

STUDENT CENSUS SURVEY:

(Please answer the following questions IN CHARACTER. Responses can be as long or short as you see fit!)

What made you want to attend Joie University?

The prestigious nature of the school seemed the perfect place to both earn my degree and gain life experience I have been lacking. The administration seemed accommodating considering my current position and gave the impression that I would be treated just like everyone else. Overall, I felt very welcomed and fell in love with Joie instantly.

What are at least 3 positive or neutral and at least 3 negative traits that you believe you possess?

My most positive trait would be my unwavering determination. Even in the face of my family being nay-sayers in the quest for my dreams, I went after them anyway. Now, I wish to prove there is more to me than a pretty voice, exceed my own expectations. Perhaps that is my second trait; ambition for a new challenge. No mountain is too high for me. And that ties into my third best trait being creative problem solving. I simply cannot take no for an answer. If there is a will, there is a way, and I have a lot of willpower.

As far as the negatives of my personality, every positive is a doubt edged sword. For all my determination, it is very difficult for me to know when it is time to stop, reflect, and take it what is around me. I am always pushing for the next goal, leaving me often forgetting to savor the moment. I don’t know when to stop pushing for more, for better. This has had my personal relationships suffer in the past as well, and I do plan to remedy this. Apologies are another weakness of mine. For all I try to correct any wrongs on my part, simply saying ‘I’m sorry’ seems to escape my mind. A third flaw… I am frequently told I am too generous with my money. It isn’t like I could possibly use it all, so I use it on others. This has lead to a few personalities latching onto me simply for my wallet or my fame. I suppose that makes me a sub-par judge of character.

Which of your traits do you value most?

My ambition, by far. Taking on the impossible and making it believable is something I enjoy doing, both in music and in life. I wish to up the ante by studying for my degree, see what challenges I can tackle next.

How can that trait benefit the University (or its student body) as a whole?

Being I am a special case, it would be no lie to say my experience in the school could lead to positive press. I would also be interested in investing in the school through funding scholarships and such, once I am no longer a student. I do believe in the power of education, so on the same hand I do not wish to distract from other students attending. Making a show of myself here is not the goal. I wish to meld into the student body just as a regular attendee, no special treatment. That is what I could bring.

What do you hope to gain from your experience at JU?

The typical college experiences. The ups and downs of dorm life, the stress of finals, the development into a greater person leaving than you were when you arrived. I want all these things.

What is a quote or song lyric that describes you?

“I wanna take you high up, Let our hearts be the only sounds, I wanna go where lights burn low, And you’re only mine.” -James Bay, ‘Wild Love’

#Accepted

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theawakenedstate · 5 years

Text

🔥A Story of Evolution & Expansion

Are you ready for a story about evolution? I had a revelation recently, while I was lying in bed getting ready to fall asleep, often my best ideas and epiphanies come right before sleep I swear lol...

Anyway, I was thinking about how subconscious programming works,

How when we were young, our parents basically set the stakes and the boundaries in our lives. we often joke with our kids, that we're like the police officers of this house. all fun. my son loves police officers right now.

Because the thing is, a world without boundaries...

well that's vibrational and emotional chaos,

even in hermetics's The Kybalion there is order and there is chaos. while one fulfills the other.

But when we're growing up, a lot of us were never taught how to emotionally regulate, so we suppressed our emotions and basically hid who we truly are from the world. we took on our generation karma

We became, essentially chaos without order.

(Side note I definitely believe a major issue with this world is emotional suppression and emotional chaos. ) But back to my point, When we don't have boundaries, we can basically act like an arrogant asshole haha If we weren't taught at an early age what is truthfully and ethically right and what is wrong - we are basically the personification of walking, talking, breathing Emotional chaos. You could really be like - just look at the news...

Chaos. Entropy. So our parents/caregivers set those stakes and boundaries for many of us, but here's the thing, they were created from this very old model, the old paradigm. The paradigm of our ancestors, the survivalist, This basic: Do or die paradigm, where striving and struggle is our normal, where hard work is the payoff, where you gotta earn your love and abundance through grit and sacrifice. Where sacrifice and loss is just okay because as long as we're a people pleaser, we're staying a part of the tribe that keeps us safe so how dare we...put ourselves first. Where lack, fear and scarcity were normal because it was how we felt after the great depression era and before that. And the story goes... My point is the old paradigm is dying and we are starting to evolve beyond that, we are no longer chasing the Tigers & sabertooths in our life.

Instead we're reaching a point of needing to clean up this mess as we evolve into a New Paradigm into this elevated vibration of emotional empowerment, abundance, infinite possibility, and expansion. When we continue operating from the mindset of the old paradigm, We cannot Harness our ability to receive, we also cannot harness our ability to co-create successfully because it's emotional chaos. I've tried it, you've tried it, we've all tried it, it doesn't work successfully, Why? We're essentially creating from an energy of lack vs abundance. When it comes to elevating and upleveling how we manifest, if we're not manifesting from a firm foundation that feels: Safe, stable, supported We will continue to have mixed results, Why? Because we're manifesting from the state of our wounding, our past NOT Our Authentic State of the New Paradigm. As I started exploring this information, It really began to hit me after 8 years of studying the Chakra system and upleveling my understanding of it, It's much more than an Inner game. It's a reflection. A Mirror for how we receive in our life. But to get back to my point - a lot of us have set incredibly low and unstable standards and boundaries for how we are operating our life. It wasn't our fault, it wasn't our parents but it is how we create our generational foundations. Until we realize, We now hold the power to change it. We carry the ability to raise our energetic standards and boundaries we set for our life. We can set the stakes now for the highest good of all involved. Most importantly, We can break the chain of the old cycle and learn to create a new one. How Liberating a Thought... *and this is what I think about when i go to bed* haha So This is why i'm here posting this today, Because I get it, I read the books, I stuck things at the wall, praying and wishing and the reality is the needle didn't start moving... Until I did, the moment I decided to shift and change, The moment I decided to do things differently, The moment I said enough is enough. And the reason for all of that, was Energy. I have been learning about Energy work for over 8 years now. I am great at breaking it down so it's easy, simple and practical because that's what this world needs. We need more simple. Less intergalactic terms that confuse us. Over the years I have learned to start applying energetic & practical principles to my life,

It all begins with the Chakras as your Guide map and learning to navigate your energy like a compass.

*see what I did there *

It's time to Empower the fuck out of your life and raise those standards, Let's get to it, I don't mess around, We remove the fluff, I give you the Practical & Energetic Breakdown of each Chakra I take you deep, We dig into the unconscious blocks & limiting beliefs,

We rise things to the surface, we unearth, heal and clear through powerful Chakra Audio Clearings

And then I teach you how to consistently Empower your Chakras with Soul Work, you can return to again and again.

PLUS: With your own personal empowerment guidebook on top of it (I use mine all the time haha) Meeting together to Support you, answer your Qs and help guide you on your Healing path. Let's meet in circle. I am so excited for this!!!

If you're ready to journey together for two months of support, guidance and Chakra expansion,

Everything you need to know +payment plans +details: >>> Empower the Chakras: The Group Coaching Experience >>>

PLUS Extra early bird bonus: You receive The Energy Management Toolkit If you Join before today, June 4th!!! Course closes June 9th 11:59 CST

Let's break the chains that bind you so you can step into your empowerment, Because it's your birthright.

You are so worthy Remember, The universe is inside of you ;)

#chakras #chakra work #chakra healing #energy work #spiritual awakening #indigo children #crystal children #meditation #manifestation #energy healing #chakra #empowerment #emotional empowerment #soul work #practical tools #expansion #truth #group coaching

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solli · 5 years

Text

i’ve heard you can take it

Sebastian makes Tina cry too often, so naturally Blaine is selfless enough to spontaneously make up a deal with Sebastian that offers him absolutely no personal gain: if Sebastian will apologize to her, Blaine will take him on a date. Blaine tries his best to postpone what will surely be the most terrible day of his life, until Sebastian threatens to ask Tina to ask Blaine when he’ll take Sebastian out. Blaine has to yield, and the titan’s fall approaches.

or: incantava has big seblaine energy so i'm paying omage

a seblaine ficlet ~3,5k | italian skam au warnings: sexual tension that might not get resolved

(ao3 link if you’re into it)

It takes Sebastian twelve minutes to get out of his house and climb in Blaine's car. Blaine is pressing on the gas before his door even closes. He wants this travesty of a date to be done as soon as possible, and he makes sure to keep his eyes on the road. He doesn't break his resolve when Sebastian speaks, his drawl a pitch softer than the usual snark.

“I was surprised when you told me you'd choose where we were going. I thought we were pretending you didn't even want to think about tonight.”

Blaine feels the heat spreading up his neck. Leave it to Sebastian to make a sensible tactical decision sound like some kind of closeted romantic move.

“I prefer not to go along with your script.” he answers dryly, taking a left turn. He hears Sebastian chuckling, and suddenly the decision of keeping the radio off to avoid any conversation starter doesn't sound so smart anymore.

He pushes the on button and withdraws his hand as soon as Sebastian's arm moves in his peripheral vision. He's not risking any stupid brushing of fumbling fingers over the console. Not tonight, not with Sebastian.

“I don't have any script.” Sebastian hums as he skips over three different stations in under ten seconds. “You invited me out, remember?”

Blaine shifts the gear again, foot heavy on the accelerator.

“You know why I did it.”

“You still did it. And you've chosen the place. Which, by the way? I had the perfect date mapped out. You better be taking me somewhere nice.”

Sebastian sounds weird. Smug, lighthearted, happy. He sounds likes he's smiling. Blaine grips the steering wheel, his knuckles going white. Blaine hates Sebastian’s smile, loathes it, because it has somehow found a way to imprint itself behind his eyelids, to sneak into his brain. Whenever he thinks about Sebastian, it's his smile he sees, his eyes crinkling up, looking young and harmless, and Blaine is not letting a smile fool him.

Blaine knows Sebastian is expecting him to go along with him. Turn the teasing into banter, give him the conversation he so clearly seeks. Blaine's not doing any of that. He's driving, and then he's gonna watch the movie, and he's not uttering any more words than necessary.

To his credit, Sebastian doesn't push it. Instead he entertains himself playing with the radio. He jumps from jazz to pop to 90s hits in a dizzy, unpredictable rhythm. It's weirdly soothing, the resulting jagged mix of spots and choruses and cut off belted notes. As far as shotgun riders go, Blaine has to admit Sebastian might have some merit.

He doesn't realize some of his discomfort has left his muscles until Sebastian's voice does a cute little flip in a small ah and his fingers leave the console to the sound of Billy Joel's Uptown Girl.

Blaine's jaws clenches and his neck stiffens as Sebastian sings along quietly, not missing a single word. Blaine can barely hear him over the music, but it's enough to make the hair on his nape stand up.

He changes the station before he realizes it. Sebastian soft hey tells him he’s made a mistake. He chuckles despite himself, and Sebastian forgoes any retort and chuckles back instead, like they’re kids fighting over the same toy realizing neither of them wants it if they’ll have to play alone.

He should have known it would have happened, Sebastian catching him off guard and somehow get something out of him he wasn't willing to give.

“Singing along to Billy Joel is not in tonight’s script?” Sebastian asks, and Blaine swallows his smile and push it down.

“No.” he says, his lips barely parting. “I'm not supposed to have fun tonight.” he adds against his better judgment, and his heart take a leap in his chest when Sebastian laughs, carefree and honest, and Blaine hates that he wants to hear it again as soon as it's over.

Sebastian lets him be silent all trough the first twenty minutes of the movie.

He doesn't say anything when Blaine gets them trough the drive-in, he doesn't say anything as he takes it on himself to put in the AM frequency to catch the movie audio, he doesn't say anything as he undoes his safety belt and settles in his seat.

Blaine's seat belt is still in place and one of his hands is still on the steering wheel. He placed his elbow on the windowsill, and the slow back and forth of his own thumb over his cheek is not doing anything for his nerves.

He chose the drive-in because he really wanted to see the movie. It's a rom-com that he missed last summer, starring one of his favorite actresses and featuring a great deal of musical numbers. He was sure Sebastian would hate it and maybe fell asleep half trough it, but Sebastian is laughing at all the cringy jokes Blaine hears but doesn't listen to, white noise to the sounds of Sebastian existing next to him.

Blaine is hyper aware of everything he does. He doesn't miss anything, from the quietest snicker to the rustling of his clothes as Sebastian shifts on the seat, to his hands digging into the popcorn cup he made Blaine buy him.

Blaine doesn't really know how he thought spending two hours in a car with Sebastian was a good idea. He should have know better than to trust himself in being more interested in a stupid movie than he is in Sebastian.

He's attracted to Sebastian. It's useless to deny it.

His skin crawls every time they're standing near each other, and every single one of Sebastian's looks get straight to his knees. He thinks of touching him way more often than he cares to admit, of kissing down his neck from a freckle to a beauty mark, of letting himself be touched like he knows Sebastian wants to do.

He wondered countless times if the intensity was only so overwhelming because of the tension building between them, whether if touching him would turn the volume down, or if it would only adjust the frequency and made the sound less loud but clearer.

It would all be so easy if only Sebastian didn't like him.

Blaine knows Sebastian doesn't only want him. He knows Sebastian doesn't think of fucking him as much as he thinks of having sex with him, that he thinks about them doing things family friendly activities together, that Sebastian wants intimacy from him Blaine cannot give him.

Sebastian liking him is the reason Blaine made that stupid deal in the first place.

Blaine may be attracted to Sebastian, but he doesn't like him.

He doesn't like the way he talks to people like they don't matter, the lack of respect he shows for just about anything, the viciousness of his insults. He doesn't like the way Sebastian parades himself around, arrogant and careless, breaking people like they're toys and forgetting all about it the second they fall into pieces. He hates how it's all fun and games to him, all the time, even when there's nothing to make fun of.

Most of all, he hates he has to remind himself that's what Sebastian is.

Than the boy who leaves a coffee on his desk every Tuesday is the same boy that has been mean enough to made Tina cry every day for weeks.

Blaine doesn't doubt Sebastian is genuine in his feelings for him- he doesn't. Not when he looks at him like he's the only person in the room whenever they cross paths. But there's more to Sebastian than who he is to Blaine, and Blaine isn't willing to bend and stretch his morals to accommodate a boy, it doesn’t matter how much he might want him. Blaine has more integrity than that, even when the boy is licking butter off his finger on the shotgun of his car, and everything Blaine wants is to kiss him.

“Want some popcorn?” Sebastian asks turning to him, his smile slightly crooked, and Blaine feels the flush on the back of his neck.

“I would have bought it.” he says just to regret it.

“Glad to know you were just looking at me, then.”

Blaine shakes his head and puts his hands between his thighs, and he's wound so tight he can't get comfortable.

“I do approve of the night plan, by the way.” Sebastian goes on, and Blaine closes his eyes, trying not to listen. “I've always loved musicals. I like the way it all takes the story forward- the acting, the dances, the music. It's why I started singing in the first place. I like it better when music is a mean to tell a story.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Blaine asks, his eyes still closed but his eyelashes fluttering as his jaw clench.

“Not that I have a lot of first hand experience, but I do believe people go on dates to tell each other things.”

“Well, I don't want to.”

There's a moment of silence, but then Sebastian's voice is back and it's a bit sharper, a little rougher around the edges.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because you made me go.” he's quick to answer, but it sounds weak even to his ears.

“It was your idea, Blaine. I stop being mean to your friend, you stop being mean to me for one night.”

“I'm not mean to you.” Blaine turns to look at him, and there's a small smirk on Sebastian's lips. “I just- you want things from me I can't give you. I don't want to-”

“String me along?” Sebastian asks with some snark behind it. “Well, than I've got bad news for you, because our entire relationship it's you leading me where you want me. You say you don't want me to get you coffee, yet you keep drinking it when I do. You keep saying you don't want anything to do with me, than you smile with that adorable bashful thing you've got going on whenever we're in the same room. I only get what you give me.”

“I don't-” he chokes on the next words, and he has nothing to say back. “You're not a good person, Sebastian.”

He avoids his eyes, but when Sebastian speaks it's a little round being the rawness.

“Oh, yeah, now I can see how you're not mean to me.”

“I'm- Sebastian, Tina is terrified of you. She cried everyday for weeks because of you. You might be good to me, and you are, but I don't want someone who's only ever kind to people he likes.”

“Tina cries all the time about everything.” Sebastian says in a long sigh. “Sometimes I did get a little bit creative and over the top, I'm not gonna deny it, but most of the times I didn't do half as much as looking at her. One time she got to class late, saw the only desk that wasn't occupied was the one next to mine, and she started wailing until someone traded place with her. And I don't think we even talked to each other before that happened.”

“So she just randomly decided you were the antichrist.” Blaine draws the conclusion for him.

“Honestly? She kind of did. Maybe someone told her something, maybe she saw me going off to someone, I don’t know.”

“See? That's the problem. That everyone has a story to tell about you.”

“And I have a story to tell about everyone.”

Sebastian's voice is calm, soothing enough in his hard edges that Blaine can listen to it without filtering it.

“It's true I have a bad mouth and an even worse temper, but I don't bite unprovoked. People just like to play in a higher league than they can handle, and when they realize it, suddenly they never told me I'm a slut, never told me I slept with a teacher to get a good grade, never told me I- how did Santana put it- look like Fievel had sex with a scarecrow and a horse got to play in the mix. Then I fight back, and the ones that aren't tough enough to handle it blame it all on me.”

“I know for a fact Tina never told you anything like that.”

“No, she didn't. It’s true sometimes I do let it out on people who somehow manage to get on my nerves every time they speak, even if they don’t come for me first. But I do operate on assumption that a single insult from someone that obviously doesn't really know anything about you, can't really ruin your life.”

“Not everybody is as tough as you are, Sebastian.”

“Perhaps. Someone told me once that it's not up to me to decide how much people can handle.”

Blaine closes his eyes, back in the bathroom where he cornered Sebastian before Christmas break, a winter before.

“I heard you, Blaine. I'm still convinced offense is taken, not given, but I am trying not to be a complete asshole only because I can. Unless it's Shaqueera, I can't let her have an inch.”

Blaine snorts against his better judgment.

“I’ll give you that. You're cut from the same mold, after all. It's like a rooster fight, really.”

“Hey, now, I'm way classier than she'll ever be.”

“Classier?” Blaine asks, his eyes narrowing, and before he knows he's leaning in over the seats. “You?”

“I’m a gentleman. I'll have you know all my father's friends are very impressed by my excellent manners.”

“I'm sure they are.”

“Stop being mean to me.” Sebastian issues him in the softest, brightest voice Blaine has ever heard from him, and he can't help but laugh, his eyes not leaving Sebastian's.

“I've heard you can take it.” Blaine smiles back, and Sebastian's whole face lits up before he shakes his head to the side.

Blaine's eyes follow the the curve of his neck and the line of his jaw. His fingers twitch against his thighs, his nails skimming the texture of the fabric. Blaine doesn’t want to want to kiss him.

“You're right.” he says instead.

Maybe if the pieces who make Sebastian up can stick together, then perhaps he has to stop thinking he can keep them all apart.

“I do want you to get me coffee.”

Sebastian looks at him. Blaine doesn't back off when Sebastian's eyes quickly go to his lips.

“Good. I like to make you happy.”

He backs off at that, his muscles wound up once again. He knows Sebastian sees it happen, but Sebastian doesn't take any step back. He doesn't look away. He doesn't let Blaine stay in the little comfort zone he cut out from himself and Sebastian without realizing it.

“I know you have a hard time making sense of me, Blaine, but I have a hard time making sense of you too. You're all kind and polite, and then you're being bossy and loud. You love people looking at you, but you hate people getting close. I know that it must all make sense in your head, and I want it to make sense for me too. We’re both trying to put together a puzzle without a reference.”

“And what happens after we do?” Blaine asks, quiet and bold. “What do you with a puzzle after you solve it?”

Sebastian isn't smiling when he answers, but his eyes are clear.

“You get to look at something beautiful everyday and see that all the work you put into it payed off in the end.”

Blaine wants to kiss him. It's not a need, or an urge, it's the chill crawling on his skin, his tongue dragging on the roof of his mouth, the rough texture of his jeans under his fingertips, the smell of popcorn clinging between them.

He wants to lean in, he wants to look at Sebastian before closing his eyes and kiss his cheek, his nose, his mouth, until his lips are numb and swollen.

He reaches for the popcorn instead, the cup almost finished, the extra butter making his fingers slippery.

“I love musicals too.” he says, licking the salt off his fingertips.

He's careful not to grease his seat belt as he unfasten it.

Sebastian's eyes are soft and his smile is small when he accepts the offering.

“I can see it. You really seem captured by the magic of this movie.”

Blaine chuckles and waves it off and gets his arm back on the windowsill, his hand against his temple.

“I've heard people go on dates to talk.” he teases.

“Well, I've heard people go on dates at the movies to make out. Don't believe everything you hear, killer.”

Blaine's blushing again, a small smirk on his lips as he watches the actors dance on the screen, a jazzy song filling the car.

He wants to kiss Sebastian.

“Where would you have taken me tonight?” he asks, looking at him trough his lashes.

“Roller skating.” Sebastian smiles.

“Roller skating.”

“Yep. At the roller rink downtown. Have you ever been?”

“No.” he whispers, quietly enough he's sure Sebastian wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't been looking at his lips.

“Me neither. I learned about it after we made our deal. I wanted to go with you. It sounded fun.”

“Too bad I went for 'boring' as the theme for tonight.” Blaine meant to sound dry, but his words are warm, his heart fluttering treacherously against his rib cage.

“Then you failed spectacularly. I'm not bored. I like the drive-in.” he says right away, and Blaine refuses to look away, even if he knows what's coming. “In fact, I think I mentioned it a couple of times in the four months it took you to fulfill your end of the deal.”

“Really? I don't remember.” he says, and Sebastian smirk is weirdly rewarding. “Just as I don't remember ever setting a deadline to the contract.”

“Smart move. I respect that.”

“Thank you.”

Blaine wants to kiss him.

He puts his hand on the armrest between their seats, palm up.

He can only hear the sound of his heart beating in his ears, fast and strong and alive, when Sebastian takes his hand and laces their fingers together.

He looks at the movie screen, let Sebastian's thumb strokes the back of his own, their pulses mixing between their wrists.

“You're right.” Blaine says, his thumb thumping against his cheek where he's still resting his head on his hand.

“I know. And I love it when you tell me.” Sebastian is so smug Blaine would hit him, if only their hands weren't holding each other. “About what?” Sebastian adds, his vowels soft.

Blaine nibbles at his bottom lip before answering.

“The roller rink does sound fun. ”

He tilts his head enough to the right to see Sebastian's smile, his eyes crinkling up at the corners.

“We're setting a deadline this time.” he says, as the actors on screen say their I love yous in the rain.

Blaine wants to kiss him.

He leans over their hands, close enough the smell of popcorn merges with expensive cologne.

His lips are already parted when he speaks, looking at Sebastian trough his lashes.

“How about we don't, but you get a kiss instead?” he whispers, staying still.

He waits for Sebastian.

His closes his eyes when Sebastian curls a hand around his neck, threads his fingers trough the hair at Blaine's nape, brushes his thumb along Blaine's jaw.

He shudders when Sebastian moves his hand, his fingers gently inviting Blaine to tilt his head up. He complies without resistance, and he swallows as Sebastian trace his cheekbone with the tip his nose, his breathing shallow against the corner of Blaine's mouth.

He smiles when Sebastian's fingers kiss his lips, a butterfly touch tasting faintly of butter and salt.

“I'll take the deadline.” Sebastian whispers like it’s painful, his lips moving against Blaine's jaw, and Blaine turns his face against Sebastian, breaths him in.

“Smart move.” he says, his voice husky and bit breathless. “I respect that.”

Sebastian smiles against his neck and Blaine is a bit dizzy.

It would all be so easy if Sebastian didn't like him- but he does, and Blaine will have to put some work into it.

It doesn’t seem ridicolous to think it will be worth it.

#seblaine #seblaine fic #i swear i haven't felt so happy writing something until i dived into seblaine again #also i made this sideblog specifically to dump all the ficlets i started writing down in the past week #but somehow the first thing i post is a skam au i just wrote #me @ myself: why are you like this #in my defense incantava has the biggest seblaine energy

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tocinephile · 5 years

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The Morning After - Oscars 2019 Edition

My favourite photo from the 91st Academy Awards

My two favourite moments from last night’s Oscars are better represent in audio, those being Olivia Coleman’s speech when she won Best Actress over the heavily favoured Glenn Close, and when Rayka Zehtabchi exclaimed “I can’t believe a film on menstruation won an Oscar!”

It was fun keeping up with everyone’s reactions and remarks during the awards, and chiming in with many of my own even though I do, as always, find the speed of twitter a little breakneck. Also friends and colleagues who, knowing that I’m a big movie buff, came by or message me to discuss last night’s show. At times we got animated enough that random passerbys and company VPs felt the need to chime in, which is the best gathering of the minds possible in my world.

Here’s a list of the winners and what I thought of each recipient:

Best Picture

“Black Panther” “BlacKkKlansman” “Bohemian Rhapsody” “The Favourite” “Green Book” (WINNER) “Roma” “A Star Is Born” “Vice”

While not entirely classy of Spike Lee to turn his back when Green Book was announced, he was able to joke about it later that every time a film about driving was pit against his own film, he would lose to it (Do the Right Thing lost to Driving Miss Daisy) My silver lining was knowing that TIFF audiences picked yet another Best Picture winner. We do have quite a track record, don’t we? I really thought the Academy was going to make a different type of history in diversity by awarding a foreign film (Roma) with Best Picture. Or at least Black Panther, that would’ve been cool too.

Director

Spike Lee, “BlacKkKlansman” Pawel Pawlikowski, “Cold War” Yorgos Lanthimos, “The Favourite” Alfonso Cuarón, “Roma” (WINNER) Adam McKay, “Vice”

I agree with this win.

Lead Actress

Yalitza Aparicio, “Roma” Glenn Close, “The Wife” Olivia Colman, “The Favourite” (WINNER) Lady Gaga, “A Star Is Born” Melissa McCarthy, “Can You Ever Forgive Me?”

I was ecstatic to have guessed wrong in my Oscar picks for this category. Both Olivia Coleman and Glenn Close were such strong contenders (as was Melissa McCarthy). Glenn Close carried her film, Olivia Coleman elevated her already very good movie to another level.

Lead Actor

Christian Bale, “Vice” Bradley Cooper, “A Star Is Born” Willem Dafoe, “At Eternity’s Gate” Rami Malek, “Bohemian Rhapsody” (WINNER) Viggo Mortensen, “Green Book”

It’s nice that Rami Malek won, and I guessed he would. But I think Christian Bale was still better.

Original Song

“All The Stars” from “Black Panther” by Kendrick Lamar, SZA “I’ll Fight” from “RBG” by Diane Warren, Jennifer Hudson “The Place Where Lost Things Go” from “Mary Poppins Returns” by Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman “Shallow” from “A Star Is Born” by Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando, Andrew Wyatt and Benjamin Rice (WINNER) “When A Cowboy Trades His Spurs For Wings” from “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” by David Rawlings and Gillian Welch

I don’t think any other song legitimately had a chance.

Original Score

“BlacKkKlansman,” Terence Blanchard “Black Panther,” Ludwig Goransson (WINNER) “If Beale Street Could Talk,” Nicholas Britell “Isle of Dogs,” Alexandre Desplat “Mary Poppins Returns,” Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman

One last time I’ll say this: Where was First Man? After not seeing it on the list I really had no one to root for.

Adapted Screenplay

“The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” Joel Coen , Ethan Coen “BlacKkKlansman,” Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott, Spike Lee (WINNER) “Can You Ever Forgive Me?,” Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty “If Beale Street Could Talk,” Barry Jenkins “A Star Is Born,” Eric Roth, Bradley Cooper, Will Fetters

I think a writing Oscar is an excellent award for Spike Lee to win. I’m rarely familiar with the original story vs its adaptation, therefore it’s hard to say who did the best job of adapting their source material. That said, any way you slice it, BlacKkKlansman was a great script.

Original Screenplay

“The Favourite,” Deborah Davis, Tony McNamara “First Reformed,” Paul Schrader “Green Book,” Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, Peter Farrelly (WINNER) “Roma,” Alfonso Cuarón “Vice,” Adam McKay

While I put my money on Green Book, I can’t fathom why anyone would think it’s a better script than The Favourite nor Vice (I didn’t see First Reformed, and I think Roma is at least on par with Green Book) Destroyer was an original script right? I’m personally disappointed it wasn’t up for any writing awards.

Live Action Short Film

“Detainment,” Vincent Lambe “Fauve,” Jeremy Comte “Marguerite,” Marianne Farley “Mother,” Rodrigo Sorogoyen “Skin,” Guy Nattiv (WINNER)

I didn’t watch any of the shorts this year.

Visual Effects

“Avengers: Infinity War” “Christopher Robin” “First Man” (WINNER) “Ready Player One” “Solo: A Star Wars Story”

Again, please to be wrong in this category. If anything I would have said First Man stood out more in audio achievement, but visual effects were also excellent and I’m glad the film got at least one Oscar because it is such a fine technical achievement.

Documentary Short Subject

“Black Sheep,” Ed Perkins “End Game,” Rob Epstein, Jeffrey Friedman “Lifeboat,” Skye Fitzgerald “A Night at the Garden,” Marshall Curry “Period. End of Sentence.,” Rayka Zehtabchi (WINNER)

Amazing acceptance speech. I want to see this now.

Animated Short

“Animal Behaviour,” Alison Snowden, David Fine “Bao,” Domee Shi (WINNER) “Late Afternoon,” Louise Bagnall “One Small Step,” Andrew Chesworth, Bobby Pontillas “Weekends,” Trevor Jimenez

Also a fine, inspiring acceptance speech by Domee Shi. I didn’t see any other shorts but I did watch Bao several times over and my Torontonian pride swelled when it won. Growing up Asian, there’s a lot of embedded humour in this short as well, the husband character is still my absolute favourite.

Animated Feature

“Incredibles 2,” Brad Bird “Isle of Dogs,” Wes Anderson “Mirai,” Mamoru Hosoda “Ralph Breaks the Internet,” Rich Moore, Phil Johnston “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse,” Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman (WINNER)

I really gotta see this movie.

Supporting Actor

Mahershala Ali, “Green Book” (WINNER) Adam Driver, “BlacKkKlansman” Sam Elliott, “A Star Is Born” Richard E. Grant, “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” Sam Rockwell, “Vice”

As expected. Though Richard E Grant is still my favourite, anyone catch his interview with Ryan Seacrest on the red carpet? And how he’s besties with Melissa McCarthy now? Love it.

Film Editing

“BlacKkKlansman,” Barry Alexander Brown “Bohemian Rhapsody,” John Ottman (WINNER) “Green Book,” Patrick J. Don Vito “The Favourite,” Yorgos Mavropsaridis “Vice,” Hank Corwin

Fixing up a film in editing doesn’t warrant it as best edited film of the year! I cannot believe Bohemain Rhapsody won in this category. Especially again films such as The Favourite and Vice, the former’s editing has a hand in shaping its visual mastery, the latter is entirely built from the art of editing. What the hell?

Foreign Language Film

“Capernaum” (Lebanon) “Cold War” (Poland) “Never Look Away” (Germany) “Roma” (Mexico) (WINNER) “Shoplifters” (Japan)

Capernaum was still better ;)

Sound Mixing

“Black Panther,” Steve Boeddeker, Brandon Proctor and Peter Devlin “Bohemian Rhapsody,” Paul Massey, Tim Cavagin and John Casali (WINNER) “First Man,” Jon Taylor, Frank A. Montaño, Ai-Ling Lee and Mary H. Ellis “Roma,” Skip Lievsay, Craig Henighan and José Antonio García “A Star Is Born,” Tom Ozanich, Dean Zupancic, Jason Ruder and Steve Morrow

-and-

Sound Editing

“Black Panther,” Benjamin A. Burtt, Steve Boeddeker “Bohemian Rhapsody,” John Warhurst (WINNER) “First Man,” Ai-Ling Lee, Mildred Iatrou Morgan “A Quiet Place,” Ethan Van der Ryn, Erik Aadahl “Roma,” Sergio Diaz, Skip Lievsay

Just because a film is about music doesn’t automatically qualify it for best sound! Have all the Academy voters gone out of their mind??? If you’re gonna go by that misguided logic then at least give it to A Star is Born. It’s been a day and I still can’t fathom how anyone could think the sound editing of Bohemian Rhapsody is better than First Man, A Quiet Place, and Roma!

Cinematography

“Cold War,” Lukasz Zal “The Favourite,” Robbie Ryan “Never Look Away,” Caleb Deschanel “Roma,” Alfonso Cuarón (WINNER) “A Star Is Born,” Matthew Libatique

This was a pretty stacked category and Alfonso Cuaron did make a beautiful looking film. I don’t know if it was more striking that Cold War or The Favourite, but all in all he did deserve the win.

Production Design

“Black Panther,” Hannah Beachler (WINNER) “First Man,” Nathan Crowley, Kathy Lucas “The Favourite,” Fiona Crombie, Alice Felton “Mary Poppins Returns,” John Myhre, Gordon Sim “Roma,” Eugenio Caballero, Bárbara Enrı́quez

Fine. At least it wasn’t Roma, and I get that more often than not the period film usually wins it, so it’s cool to shake it up. The Favourite is still my fav.

Costume Design

“The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” Mary Zophres “Black Panther,” Ruth E. Carter (WINNER) “The Favourite,” Sandy Powell “Mary Poppins Returns,” Sandy Powell “Mary Queen of Scots,” Alexandra Byrne

Again, I like The Favourite more.

Makeup and Hairstyling

“Border,” Göran Lundström and Pamela Goldammer “Mary Queen of Scots,” Jenny Shircore, Marc Pilcher and Jessica Brooks “Vice,” Greg Cannom, Kate Biscoe and Patricia Dehaney (WINNER)

I’d have been surprised if anyone else won.

Documentary Feature

“Free Solo,” Jimmy Chin, Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi (WINNER) “Hale County This Morning, This Evening,” RaMell Ross “Minding the Gap,” Bing Liu “Of Fathers and Sons,” Talal Derki “RBG,” Betsy West, Julie Cohen

:) That’s the one I picked.

Supporting Actress

Amy Adams, “Vice” Marina de Tavira, “Roma” Regina King, “If Beale Street Could Talk” (WINNER) Emma Stone, “The Favourite” Rachel Weisz, “The Favourite”

I preferred Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone’s performances. Amy Adams even.

So, that’s it for awards season 2019. I did pitiful in my predictions this year because I was way off on the technical awards, not to mention some big ones too like Best Picture.

I’ll wrap it up by recommending that you watch First Man (with a good sound set up as it is superb technical, has a great score, and supporting actress Claire Foy), Destroyer (for its story and Nicole Kidman), The Hate U Give (that delivers a much stronger message than Green Book ever will), and Beautiful Boy (where supporting actor Timothee Chalamet actually has a sizable role).

#Oscars 2019 #oscars

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ariasune · 7 years

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tbh, I sort of-- h’okay, so this is conjecture on my part, but it’s how I wrote Inheritance!

A. What does Rishid feel when Malik commits murder?

and

B. Why does he allow it?

So Rishid’s relationship with Malik has always been complicated.

Pictured here: attempted murder of young child, who your dying mother made you promise to look after, who you just saved from a snake.

(I like to remember that Rishid was probably around 16 here.)

There’s clearly a lot of cognitive dissonance in terms of Rishid’s anger and jealousy directed at Malik. After-all, Malik eliminated any hope of Rishid ever belonging to his adopted family, both by his very existence, and also by being, within a certain viewpoint, responsible for Lady Ishtar’s death. Further, Malik is an abuse-beneficiary of the dynamic between Lord Ishtar, Rishid and Malik.

That being said, Rishid puts his murder knife aside when Malik mirrors Lady Ishtar in accepting Rishid as their family member, shown in the symbolism of the hand reach, and dialogue confirming independently concluding Rishid is his brother.

You bet your ass Papa Ishtar never taught Malik that.

Moving on, after this point we can see a distinct change in Rishid’s loyalties. They are to Malik - not Lord Ishtar, not the Ishtar Clan - but to Malik. This is most notably shown when Rishid helps Malik defy tradition, and law, in order to visit the surface world.

But also importantly, when Rishid attempts to convince Lord Ishtar to perform the “painful” ritual of the tombkeepers on him, instead of Malik.

This is important for two reasons, not only did Rishid definitely have mixed motives in accepting this request, but Malik was distressed by the impending ritual, and confided specifically in Rishid. He even calms, and brightens as soon as Rishid tells him he will keep Malik safe from the ritual.

Malik sees Rishid as his parent.

Now, this scene:

Is firstly, a punch in the heart, and secondly, again demonstrates that Malik sees Rishid as his parental figure. Rishid is his protector, and it is unsurprising that Lord Ishtar does not fulfil this emotional role for Malik, even prior to the ritual. Lord Ishtar is reasonably implied to have beaten Rishid multiple times, and whilst Malik is unlikely to have been beaten, he canonically he is aware that Rishid gets beaten on his behalf.

Children who see their siblings beaten by their parents generally do not trust those same parents to keep them safe. Malik knows Rishid as the one who keeps him safe, from snakes, and from - Malik thought - the ritual.

I bring all of this up, because despite Rishid’s obvious mixed feelings about Malik initially, he has almost certainly been raising Malik. Malik responds to him in a way that suggests this, and we see Rishid bringing Malik food, and accompanying his playing from a very young age. We can assume Rishid has been caring for Malik since Rishid was ten years old.

Despite initial mixed feelings, and an ongoing desire to supplant Malik, Rishid raised Malik, and loves Malik.

Now, as we have audio of Malik’s muffled screams of pain, we see Rishid listening in.

...with his murder knife.

And here is where I go deep into conjecture.

As we know, Rishid uses this knife to carve open his own face, providing a weird sort of empathy, and support for Malik post-ritual.

I have a few points to make about how Yami Malik is activated, or triggered as a protector alter when Rishid “abandons” Malik, and when Yami Malik and Malik ask: “who do I hate for this?” it’s very clear that Rishid is on the table as a possibility, which adds scope and narrative to Yami Malik’s determination to kill Rishid, and recognition of Rishid’s existence as a threat to Yami Malik’s access to the body.

Anyway, I’m getting a little off-topic.

So.

A. What does Rishid feel when Malik commits murder?

and

B. Why does he allow it?

Now we can talk about where Yami Malik and Malik differ (the answer is loving vs hating Rishid) but the fact is, Malik ultimately sees both himself and Yami Malik to be responsible for Lord Ishtar’s death.

It is important to remember that despite the abuse they all suffered at Lord Ishtar’s hands, Malik still cared and grieved deeply for his father. This is something that Rishid plausibly knew, as he takes steps to keep Malik from seeing Lord Ishtar’s body.

y i k e s

Shockingly, Malik has no idea for five years that Yami Malik exists, or is responsible for Lord Ishtar’s death, instead blaming the Pharaoh for it. He discovers the truth by literally eavesdropping on his sister, Isis.

Why did Malik never know about Yami Malik? It’s not like the guy is all that subtle, what with the patricide, right?

Whilst both siblings are aware, and take steps, and measures to avoid telling Malik, it is not Isis who is spending the majority of their time with Malik -- it is Rishid. Rishid is kept in confidence, and kept close, something Isis notes. We can reasonably assume Rishid is the primary proponent of this decision.

Rishid took overt steps to prevent Malik from discovering his role in Lord Ishtar’s death.

Including never once correcting Malik on his assumption that the Pharaoh killed Lord Ishtar.

Rishid tacitly enabled Malik’s murderous behaviour as part of this lie.

For what purpose? To keep Malik from turning that blame against himself? To avoid hurting Malik? Well- yes, obviously. Rishid appears to be highly driven not to allow Malik to know the truth of Lord Ishtar’s death.

It would not be unreasonable to presume this is wholly done to protect Malik’s well-being, but I would suggest that Rishid’s actions are not about protecting Malik entirely. After-all, through Rishid’s inaction, Malik is placed in significant danger, and clearly becomes an exceptionally violent individual in his own right. If this is all about protecting Malik, then perpetuating this lie is not helping.

It’s possible Rishid isn’t aware of that, but Rishid’s own acknowledgement of Malik’s aggressive, unreasonable, and dangerous behaviour seems to not support Rishid being in denial about the impact this decision is having.

Instead, I would suggest -- much like Rishid’s complicated murder-y feelings towards Malik, and his mixed motivations in asking for the ritual to be done to him, that Rishid is partially acting in self-interest.

What precisely does Rishid have to benefit from hiding the truth from Malik?

Well, let’s return to this scene.

Rishid and his pointy friend.

Whilst we know that Rishid did eventually use this knife to carve open his face, I suggest that Rishid’s initial desire when he drew that knife was simple:

To kill Lord Ishtar.

<fic plug> I write about this possibility in Inheritance

Malik is a child- Malik is his child. His brother. Rishid raised him, fed him, soothed him... When Rishid held Malik as a babe, Malik fell quiet, curled against him, listened to Rishid sing him tuneless lullabies... and when Malik was afraid, he went to Rishid.

He screamed for Rishid to save him, and now Malik is choking, gagging on his own shrieks, and Rishid can hear it, but he cannot go to him. He cannot save him. He cannot protect his child. He cannot-

Rishid's knife has found his hand, nestling into his fingers, pressed into his palm like a frightened thing. But Rishid is not afraid; he should kill the man who makes Malik scream like this.

...

Rishid should have gutted Lord Ishtar like the snake in the atrium, but Lord Ishtar is Malik's father. It is no excuse for what he has done to Malik, but how can Rishid kill Malik's father? How can he take that away from Malik. He cannot undo the scar where Malik's skin once was; how can taking more away from Malik ever help?

</fic plug>

The idea that Rishid was contemplating murdering Lord Ishtar puts much of Rishid’s behavior into frightening context.

He plausibly decides not to kill Lord Ishtar, because of Malik’s affection for Lord Ishtar despite the abuse, and a desire not to orphan Malik.

Just as plausibly, it is feelings of guilt, and shame that prevent Rishid from fully disclosing the truth to Malik. If Rishid believes he made an active decision not to kill Lord Ishtar, thereby “forcing” Malik to do it in his stead (or a part of Malik), then Rishid has an incredibly strong reason to hide this. He feels responsible for the burden placed on Malik. He let Malik down, not only in failing to stop the ritual, but in failing to stop Lord Ishtar - his abuser’s - death.

By hiding the truth, Rishid never needs to confront his guilt over causing Malik pain.

Rishid can't help but shake, shuddering from the cold guilt slathering in his gut: he should have killed Malik's father before this, before he ever laid a hand on Malik, before this.

...

This is Rishid's fault.

...

"The Other Malik did this," [Isis] whispers... "He-"

Grasping Isis by her wrists tightly, Rishid begs: "Don't let him know,"... Rishid curls his hands on her shoulders, shaking lightly. "Never tell him, never-" Isis' eyes are wide, like Rishid could drown in them, "Never tell him."

Isis nods... Rishid's hold on her arms loosens, slowly but surely, but the guilt and shame is as tight as ever inside of Rishid. He can never allow Malik to know what his hands have done, Rishid will do anything to keep this from Malik. Rishid did this.

A. What does Rishid feel when Malik commits murder?

He feels guilt, he feels shame, he feels responsibility, he feels trapped. He wants to protect Malik, and he has failed before he has begun.

and

B. Why does he allow it?

If he stops Malik, Malik may learn the truth, and Rishid will do anything to keep that from Malik.

#rishid ishtar #quotableishtar #malik ishtar #marik ishtar #meta #it's not meta #never meta

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podcake · 7 years

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Podcasts & Style/Substance

I must share to you readers that I am in the middle of a very much expected but somewhat rough decision at the moment. After about six or more years of having the same black Toshiba laptop that has stored information from middle school crossover fanfiction to job resumes to questionable png files, I’m afraid it has officially kicked the bucket or at least fallen into some kind of cybernetic limbo.

After one faithful day when it gave itself one less kick to grant me the privilege of finishing Miss Koboyashi’s Dragon Maid and was forced onto an infinite black screen for all eternity, it dawned on me that my little pal that has been my partner in blogging for years just couldn’t pull through the strength anymore.

It was an old, busted thing by now-touch pad now replaced by a wireless mouse, brown-gray dust permanently caked onto the screen and in between the keyboard from lord knows wear, a severe lag that regularly musters an effort to keep my video files and word documents secure as I mindlessly surf the internet, and a battery that kept my computer at a pathetic half way point that threatened to undo all of my current progress if a passing dog were to trip the wire at the slightest.

Little Tobi (as I called them) was a good friend and I will dearly miss them and the disposable information I will lose from letting it rot in the bottom of my bed for now. I write this now from my mother’s laptop as I secretly plan out my next move.

The likely preceding from here is that I have plans to buy a new laptop to continue my work, to which you are entirely right. I am already aware that the simple black Toshiba with its decent screen size and functional keyboard are all I need for a few extra years of blogging and book pitches, but it’s so…boring.

Beyond my desktop customization, there’s not much to old Tobi that really sparked the imagination of what kind of person I am and what business I have with a laptop from the get-go. To any passerby I could easily be an accountant or an overworked college student grinding through an essay.

It’s a bland but perfectly usable piece of machinery that has done me no wrong for years, and yet I find myself eager to pursue something different. Something more pink.

I am set for my next laptop to be a pink one and my itchy buying finger might just make that happen before the summer ends. And my strong, personal desire for every item within my reach to be pink-or something related to pink-tends to skew my idea about features and actual quality.

My sights have been set on a smaller computer with less memory and detachable keyboard for about a week and I am so very close to just finalizing the deal without anyone else’s input because…it’s pink. And I like pink.

This got me thinking about how we as content creators and consumers tend to be divided over what we perceive as genuine quality in our media. Specifically targeting podcasts, I do believe the concept of style and substance is a very common recurrence we come across and I have mentioned it at least vaguely in most of my reviews and other articles.

The term “style vs substance” tends to have a fairly flexible meaning behind it that can pertain to multiple aspects at once. This contrast can come to mind when dealing with everyday obstacles and personal preferences over pretty much anything, though let’s talk about how it pertains to audio fiction since I know that’s what you’re here for.

Substance has to mainly deal with the idea of something’s overall depth and purpose. Substance aims to tell you one thing or multiple things and provide it in such a way that the idea can’t be muddled or misinterpreted. Be it an Aesop or a specific type of theme or message, substance is meant to leave an impression in more of the practical variety.

Style is much different. Style can be easily defined as to how something is done or presented in a way that is distinctly unique. Style aims to be eye-catching, interesting, or to generally appeal to a certain type of aesthetic choice. It wants to look good or cool or scary or weird and will go by any stretch of the imagination to fulfill that.

A story that relies too heavily on substance will certainly have a focal point and a clear narrative that is easy to digest, but it will be at the risk of being unremarkable. It will not stick with a listener if an audio drama has a very clean cut story and characters that all fit predetermined roles but no real flair of individuality that makes its whole plot really ring any bells besides the ones set to a very specific tune.

On the flip side of this coin, too much style can provide an entirely different dilemma. This creates the situation in a which a show is rich in pretty little details and nice music and the occasional wit, but it will ultimately be as compelling as a screensaver. These stories don’t exist in the realm of being genuinely deep or progressive but rather to just to give off a unique vibe, which can make it rather hollow in everything else.

In my last article, I did go on about my irritation with podcasts that don’t cater to a story and care more about being quirky for quirky’s sake, namely about the over saturation of the “fake radio show” format that is hopefully being reworked by The Bridge as we speak, but that’s a topic I’ve ragged on enough one March ago.

And despite this, I am lucky enough to be invested in a type of medium that seems to have this style and substance balance pretty well figured out.

Not everyone is a winner in this department, though I am confident in my belief that many podcast writers know that their vision is not complete without a purpose and that this purpose can stay relevant with just the right amount of tasteful flourish.

As this is a fairly open-ended topic, there is more than one way to manage this balance. For example, I believe a show is capable of being more heavy on substance while still having a style because the aesthetic of choice was minimalist to begin with. Titles that comes to mind is The Bright Sessions, Wolf 359, and the newest show I’ve gotten around to simply titled OAKPODCAST.

I won’t go into much detail about each one though all of them do cater more to providing substance over style in a way that works. They are known best for their character focus, engaging dialogue and some occasional thoughtful narration, and mostly realistic portrayal of its setting even though they will occasionally lean heavily on otherworldly elements to show the setting is not as normal as it appears.

These shows are abundant in the substance category because its ideas are meant to be narrowed down to a few very specific idea pertaining to whatever arc or character they may focusing on. And yet they are still memorable because they exist in a world that is just different enough from our own that we’d like to learn more about it.

Shows that play more into style than substance can be equally engaging. Ones that come to mind are Hadron Gospel Hour and The Meat Blockade, two very different shows that are dedicated to strong stylistic choices that don’t interfere with its narrative.

Be it Gospel Hour with its love for dimensional travel and ideas directly inspired from seventies and eighties pop culture or The Meat Blockade’s ideas drawn from the likes of Kafkaesque and surreal humor and just the right touch of Broadway, it’s clear where the focus is meant to be without it being a deal breaker on where the story lies in all this. Thus the strange decisions work as a service to the story rather than it being treated as a lesser priority.

Going back to the Broadway thing, I wasn’t kidding. The Meat Blockade has an entire, roughly four minute segment in their fifth episode where a group of anthropomorphic frogs break out in a music number…and it works really well because it’s ultimately an exposition song that describes their current situation, the hidden lore about the setting, some hints of foreshadow, and nicely transitions into the next scene and leaves on a cliff hanger for episode six.

It’s such a strange choice editing and writing wise and I’m choosing to provide this as an example because it’s a damn excellent way to establish creativity and tasteful zaniness that still works to inform.

But it is also possible to have a fifty-fifty situation going on where the style and the substance coexist so well that one cannot exist without the other.

Our Fair City comes to mind where it’s richly described dystopian world and unique characters are used to explore more in-depth themes and still have one single tale to tell, or, multiple branching tales.

The same can apply to Greater Boston with just a touch more realism thrown into the mix, creating a fairly stylish and satisfying audio drama about life in a fictionalized version of a real city.

The key here is that the world and its rules play a part in why the characters act the way they do which lets it be equal parts distinct and fulfilling as a story.

Without these aesthetic decisions in mind, some of these shows simply wouldn’t be what they are while the same can apply the substance latent shows who wouldn’t be the same without their choice of character interaction and treatment of specific themes.

Some are far more likely to lean more towards one than the other but that’s because it’s not a necessity for The Bright Sessions to have a jazzy backtrack and it’s not expected for The Meat Blockade to have a long and detailed monologue about Berenger’s relationship with his girlfriend.

But that’s the interesting thing about the style and substance equation-it can be switched around as many times as necessary to fit a story’s current narrative. Maybe one day we learn the tragic backstory of a single gag character, maybe one day there will be a stretch of retro-funk music played over a straight faced hero’s inner thoughts.

It’s when these ideas are of service to the stakes and a characters’ all around presence that the script can be flipped and deliver a much needed change of tone that keeps the listener on their toes.

This won’t only be impressive on a sound design and editing standpoint, but also establish some diversity in the writing style to keep the story varied and interesting.

Whatever the balance may be, it must be one that lets the story flourish in a way that feels authentic and natural. A concept is only as strong as the effort going into it.

Don’t allow a story to be expressed in a distinct way then it won’t be remembered but let flair and pizzazz be too much of a focus and your final product will come off as meaningless fluff.

Let your world building and natural need for sparkle be the thing that draws in the viewer rather than isolate them from the goings on of what is especially important.

Don’t let characters fade into oblivion from a need to make a story easy to understand, let them be factors and active players, not mouthpieces and exposition machines.

And if one certain element speaks to your project more than the other, that is entirely understandable. Certain plots are better seen through a substance perspective than a stylish one and some ideas are best seen with stylish decisions being a priority with substance being a smaller part of the equation.

I suppose you could say it’s less a case of style vs substance than it is style/substance or substance/style-it’s a balancing act that comes with compromise and patience rather, not just a case of right and wrong.

So thus my decision about what new laptop I should get to replace my old one is less a choice of a functional laptop or a pink laptop, but rather settling on a functional pink laptop.

#podcast #audio drama #audio play #radio play #podcasts and #the bridge #hadron gospel hour #the meat blockade #the bright sessions #the penumbra podcast #oak podcast #wolf 359 #greater boston

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121distractions · 5 years

Text

20- CHOCOLATE MOUSSE

Michel is just weird. Really weird. I am still in love with Max but without any hope.

Max prefers the Danes. Max, however, loves my skinny body, how the belly empties itself when I lie down. Max lives alone with his mother and finishes his law studies. His mother likes me. There is me in Paris, only me I think - at least in her apartment - and there are all the Danes, but it is far from her home. Max's father did not accept the homosexuality of his son. He asked his wife to choose between him and his son. She chose. Max hates his father, his name is Atlani but he wants to be called Geldfeld, his mother's name. She leaves us her big bed when I come, she will sleep in the extra bed. Max has a beautiful circumcised cock. I am lying in the bed of Max's parents and I cannot scream so loud, his mother is trying to sleep. He goes to Copenhagen for two weeks and he takes a lot of French wines, it costs a fortune over there. The Danes are extremely grateful when he brings them French wine. I can imagine very well the kind of recognition shown by the beautiful Danes to Max. I comfort myself with Martial.

Martial loves sex and it is ok, me too. He rents a maid's room on the second floor, rue Nicolo in the 16th arrondissement. The building is modern and so chic that the staff rooms are on the same floor as the apartments they depend on. It is a real studio of 18 m2 with a mini terrace. Martial is not in the service of Madame Poincaré, he is a nurse. He admires my prominent veins and tells me he would like to insert a syringe in it. I prefer other kind of injection and take off my pants . He lets himself undress and his huge dick is already excited. We must lower the blinds. They are electric and if you do not lower them to the end, there are rays of light that pass in between. My eyes are wide open and I can scream as I want, it is soundproof. Our sex marathon has just begun, will we be able to beat our record of 29 hours and 8 ejaculations each? We are very synchronous, everything goes without saying. It is a real drug, the more we take and the more we want. The first ejaculation is to unload the tension, the pleasure begins with the second. We are here, it is just too hot, we are covered with sweat. We have to take a break. We take out the electric mixer under the Cinna "Duvet-Sofa", the hotplates in the bathroom, the ingredients in the closet without forgetting the "rubber maryse" in the tooth glass. We are going to make a chocolate mousse. Martial chocolate mousse is the best. There are pieces of whipped egg whites in the middle and orange zest. "But you are stupid Philippe, if there are pieces of whipped egg whites, it is because I have not mixed enough with chocolate, it is not done on purpose!" Anyway, it is super light and airy ... and delicious. The egg whites are very hard, we added icing sugar at the end. There is melted chocolate on one side but not too hot otherwise it "breaks" the mousse, and one incorporates one by the other by gently lifting... with the maryse rubber spatula. In fact it is rather as if the chocolate was fading on the egg whites. We have no orange for zest, it is a horror. The Monoprix of the rue de Passy is far too far, we will go to the fine deli Hédiard on the opposite street, Avenue Paul Doumer. The Japanese and the vulgar people go to Fauchon but the real Parisians go to Hédiard. It is a world in its own. Tea in stackable metal boxes, smoked salmon, candied fruits. The smells are magic, the colors shimmer and each product tells about travelling. Oranges from Seville? From Sicily? Or Casablanca? An orange from Morocco, yes, it will be very good. While the orange is wrapped in tissue paper, we go to the cashier to pay. We hold out our little bill handwritten by the salesgirl and the cashier is not able to get over it. In thirty years of work, she has never seen such a low amount. She shouts incredulously from the top of her platform to the salesgirl on the other side of the store "5 francs 5 ???" There must be a mistake! The girl, very embarrassed, raises the single orange in the field of vision of the cashier who is appalled by the poverty of her customers. Hediard has really changed! On the sidewalk we burst out laughing "Mademoiselle Madeleine? 5 franc 5 ???"

There is no romanticism between Martial and me but extreme camaraderie ... and sex. Martial prefers New Yorkers but that does not bother me. He claims that a dollar there is like a franc here. I cannot understand that in one evening he can earn $ 200 tip. 1700 francs? The price of a monthly rent in Paris! He brought back an audio tape with the new hit of Cindy Lauper "She bop". It is not here yet. He understands the lyrics, it is about a girl jerking off flipping through the pages of a gay magazine, I cannot believe it. Can he bring back a "Blueboy Magazine"? And a 501 too? No, I do not want a Panasonic answering machine, what would I do with it?

Max Geldfeld gives me an appointment to go to the Grand Palais. There is an exhibition not to be missed, his friend the "Master Lecturer" at the Abbey of Royaumont will be there too. I would rather see Max alone. There is not only Bernard Malewski whom I already know, there is also Michel van Lierde whom I have never seen. Everyone is very affected, calling the other Monsieur, and speaking with a snobbish accent. I am fascinated, I will have to train to speak in such a distinguished way. Michel is really weird, contradicting everyone and constantly showing off his knowledge. He forces himself to laugh and plays very condescending. So refreshing, someone who has never read Julien Green! He articulates as we would recite Corneille "With alternatives of coldness and imaginary ounces of resistance ..." And Bernard going on with emphasis "I was weak and sensual" The two are very happy of themselves and declare that if there was only one book it would be Leviathan! " Do they know all Julien Green by heart, those freaks? They are in a movie and very far from reality. In fact, it is more like a book. I do not know if I want to open or close this book. I knew whole verses of the Holy Scriptures and finally closed them forever. I will never tell anyone. Max is watching me. Has he invited me to serve me up to these cranks? Is Max giving his farewell? I feel that I am here only to be introduced to Michel who never goes out in a night club. To impress Michel who gives way too much attitude and who is always alone. I do not like Michel but at the moment of separating, he leaves me carelessly his card " So, call me if you want to get some education, I will lend you few books!". He lives on the very opulent rue de la Pompe in the 16th arrondissement. I thank him but I live in the suburbs and I almost never go in the 16th arrondissement, it is too far...

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solarbird · 7 years

Text

2074, but also, 2070

[the twenty-third chapter]

"Good evening, Winston," said the elder assassin.

"Widowmaker," said the ape, grimly, with a three second delay. "I see you have acquired Lena's prefix code."

"Thank you for responding," she said. "We have not talked in some time."

"Using Lena's code set will get my attention. Does she still have access to it too?"

The spider smiled wanly and leaned out of the way. Lena popped into view, "Hiya, big guy! It's okay, I'm here, she's using my kit."

Winston blinked confusedly. "oh! Hello! Where have you been? I hadn't heard from you in a few weeks, and then I heard about London. What exactly happened?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow, now that I don't have MI5 watching my every breath. It'll be a lot easier to get ahold of you from now on! But Amélie needs to talk to you alone, and I wanted to make sure you'd answer, so... hear her out, will ya? For me?"

Winston did not look pleased by the request. "I... what's this all about?"

"Trust me on this, Winston? It's not my place to talk about it, but... if I'm gonna catch you up, there's some things I want you to know first. And it's better from her."

Amélie, from off camera, added, "I must note you are the one insisting I do this. I am not enthusiastic. He is your friend, not mine."

Lena looked to her left, towards the off-camera assassin. "I know," she said gently. "I know how hard it is to talk about. But it's important, to me."

From the side, a quiet, "I understand."

Winston sat on the far side of the link, having no idea what to think of any of this conversation. Lena looked back to the camera and said, "Will you, Winston? Please? Hear her out. It's important."

He nodded. "All right. I don't know what this could possibly mean, but... okay. For you. But before you do anything else, before you make any more decisions... talk to me first, okay? Promise." What is going on here? he thought.

"Sometimes you're a little too protective, big guy. But if it makes you happy, fine. And... thanks, luv. You'll understand better in a few minutes." She pulled Amélie back on camera, and kissed her forehead, gently. "You can do this, love. I know it'll be hard. I'll be right outside, waiting. Signal me when you're done - or before, if you want me."

"I will."

Lena Oxton stepped out of the camera's field of view; from off-screen came the sound of a door, closing.

"Well," said the blue woman, after a moment. "Here we are."

Winston looked at Widowmaker, and realised that he'd never seen her like this - not since Amélie vanished those years ago, and maybe not even then. Did... Lena reawaken Amélie, somehow? he thought. Am I not talking to the Widowmaker? Is this...

Amélie leaned forward closer to the camera, then back. "By the way, I never took a moment to thank you," she said, "for your help, in pulling Lena back into time. And that is wrong of me. I owe you, tremendously; I am forever in your debt."

That is not the Widowmaker, he thought. "...Amélie? Is that... you? Actually you?" he said, daring to hope.

The blue woman sighed. "It has always been me."

"Impossible."

"The truth."

"Amélie wouldn't've betrayed and murdered Gérard. Amélie wasn't a globally-wanted assassin."

"Which," she said sadly, "is why Lena insists that I drag myself through that horrible night again." She sighed. "This is not easy for me. Please do not make it more difficult."

"I've seen all the reports - I know what happened."

"You've seen lies. I have copies as well, the only correct particular in them is that I killed Gérard, my beloved husband."

"Do tell," he said sardonically.

"I will. I presume you are recording this; I'm fine with that, because this will hopefully be last time the only surviving witness of this particular disaster testifies to what actually happened. I only ask you not to share it with others while I am still alive."

"Did you kill Gérard Lacroix?"

"Yes."

"Of your own free will?"

"Yes. And everything the same, I would do it again."

"Why?"

The blue spider took a deep breath. "A little of this, at the beginning, is from other sources. Trusted, but other sources. A small part, in the middle, is how I imagine it happened - I could smell the wine sauce, burning. The rest, I saw, or heard, or did, myself."

[Paris, 2070; all dialogue is in translation from the French]

«I tell you, he's rotten.» The Blackwatch intelligence agent flipped paper copies of files around, full of highlighted numbers tracked money. Old fashioned, perhaps, but nobody can hack paper.

«I agree.» said the other agent. «He's a Talon mole. That's the only thing that makes it all logical. But no one else will believe it, not from us.»

«One little mistake...»

«One big mistake, we should admit that...»

«...and we have a reputation as loose cannons forever? It isn't fair.»

«I know. It's grotesque.»

The bigger, burlier agent stomped around their joint desk. «We should confront him. He'd crack.»

«And if he doesn't, he's tipped off, and we're both finished.»

«No, if we get a confession out of him, we're both heroes.»

«You saying we should just go over there and...» The agent waved his hands around, «...make sure?»

«Yes. I am. Tonight.»

«You are certain, aren't you.»

The other agent leaned forward, putting his hands palms-down on the desk. «Aren't you?»

«...yes. I think I am.»

«Then let's call in a security cordon and do this. We'll say we think there's a Talon agent shadowing the place, we want some outside protection while we go in to brief Gérard. We'll be legends.»

The agent leaned back in his chair. «Or up on charges.»

«No way. Legends.»

Amélie was late.

Amélie was never late. Gérard worried, but her emergency beacon hadn't tripped, and the lack of any concern from support meant it couldn't've gone that badly.

Ah, well, he thought, It has given the wine sauce more time to reduce. All the better. Gérard tasted a sample. Exquisite. As long as she is not too much late. He checked the carrots, roasting slowly over the grill. When all this is over, someday, he thought, I will open that cafe. Assassination may be Amélie's art, but this is mine.

I wonder if she'll come through the window again, Gérard smiled at the memory of Amélie leaping through the living room window, executing a perfect fouetté en tournant en dehors, with with sniper rifle as accessory. «I have returned!» she had announced, dramatically. «Now kiss me.»

«Ah!» Gérard had said, laughing. «You are wonderful! And early. That is most certainly worth a kiss.»

The bell rang, the front door, breaking his memories. Oh good, he thought sardonically, more Mormon missionaries. «You've already been here!» he shouted. «I am not interested in your book, thank you!»

The bell rang again. Blood of christ, he thought, settling the stove and oven, and called out, «Just a moment!»

«This had better be good,» he shouted, as he walked down the short hallway to the front door.

Amélie was late.

The mission had not gone well. They'd hit their target, but not cleanly, not elegantly. She'd been spotted, on the roof - her heat signature, that's all it could've been - before taking her shot. And while the second would be fatal, there would be fear, and pain, before death.

She did not enjoy giving pain with her deaths. Death should be exquisite, and instant. One perfect shot, annihilation, and the river of history changed - wonderful.

The troubles in her mind almost caused her to miss the security cordon around her and Gérard's townhouse, but not quite. Something is very wrong, she thought. Terribly wrong.

The warning beacon is not lit, she noticed, searching at distance from the building a block behind. Perhaps it is not so bad. Or, she worried, perhaps he did not have the chance.

She swept across the street, and closed her vizor, zooming in on faces. She recognised one face, then another - people she suspected but had not previously confirmed as Blackwatch covert agents, an outer-ring cordon. Too few for an all-out raid, but far too many for a friendly visit.

Shit. They know, she thought. They know. Her thoughts raced. But they do not know everything, or they would not have moved when I was not here. Perhaps this can still be salvaged.

She changed vizor modes. Three in front. Two in back. Three people inside, two standing, one... not. None on the sealed roof - Their mistake, she decided. Hopefully, I can make it a fatal one.

They'd have to leave, of course. They'd assumed this would happen, eventually; plans had been made.

Thoughts of the unlit beacon ate at her gut as she circled around the block to an appropriate roof.

Inside, the second agent smiled. «See?» he told the first. «That was not so bad, was it?»

The first agent frowned, wiping blood from his face. «I didn't think he could fight like that, and sure as hell didn't expect him to. It's a very good thing you had that dart prepared.»

They looked at the bloody Gérard, now splayed neatly onto the stripped bed, tied down, semi-conscious. «It's his own fault for not realising when to stay down,» said the second. «He can recover in jail.»

«Sure,» said the first. «You have that recorder ready?»

«Yeah.»

«Audio only. Keep it simple. So we had to get a little rough, no need to blow things out of proportion.»

«I am not a fool, Henri.» He touched his padd. «Recorder running.»

The first agent injected Gérard with a complex mix of interrogation drugs, and a mild stimulant. «Now, Agent Lacroix - what do you have to say for yourself?»

Blinds had been drawn on all the windows; there was no seeing into the bedroom. But Amélie could listen, from afar, with the laser microphone in her sight, and so she heard it all.

They cannot make that recording, she thought, it cannot be allowed. Everything we've worked for...

Her position worked well for audio, but not well for hitting her targets, and she was late and so there was no time left, none at all. She swung in with her grappling hook, zipping over the heads of the two back cordon guards down on the ground, attracting their attentions. Landing on the balcony, she unloaded her first clip into first agent through the antique doors she and Gérard had spent a week restoring, just that previous spring. Throwing herself through the wreckage, she destroyed the little recording padd. Hopefully not too much had been said.

The second agent was slower, still rising from his little chemistry set, crouched over Gérard's prone body, as the security cordon charged up two flights of stairs. Amélie smashed him in the face with her rifle stock, and he went down instantly. «Pathetic,» she said, before finishing him with a single round to his forebrain.

She grabbed at Gérard's arm, pulling at the ties, «Gérard, wake up, it's me, come on, we need to...» as three rounds of semiautomatic fire burst through the bedroom door, knocking it open. She flipped backwards towards the balcony, rolling, and returned fire, as one of the rear cordon shot at her from the ground below. The first of the three front agents burst into the bedroom...

...and time, it seemed to the spider, later, stopped. The web was clear; the paths forward, unavoidable. She had been imperfect, and so now she was late; now Gérard might live, and the world would die in fire, or Gérard would die, and there could still be a path to tomorrow. A crux, but one without a choice.

I will always love you, Gérard, she thought, as she finished her husband with a single shot. Perfect, but bitter, not exquisite, even as she felt history move with the pulling of the trigger, and ordinary time resumed.

Launching her hook towards the nearest tall building, Amélie hurled herself into the night sky above, and was gone.

"And after that?" asked the scientist, quietly.

Widowmaker shrugged. "It does not matter. I left. We had a emergency plan, I used it. Blackwatch fabricated a report to make themselves look better - they may believe some or all of that, I do not care. Overwatch distorted that report further, to the same ends; the final report distilled it all to me."

As soon as she'd started her story, Winston had started analytics. Deep processing would take longer, but even without that, the pieces fit - not with what he thought he knew about Gérard and Amélie, but with what he knew about the role of Blackwatch abuses in the fall of Overwatch. We were all at least a little complicit, he thought, not for the first time.

He sat, silently, for several seconds, until Widowmaker spoke again. "In the end, I cannot even say that distillation was wrong. I make no pretences about what I did. I was imperfect on my mission, so I was late; I was late, so I was faced with a choice. I chose to kill Gérard. Had I not been imperfect, perhaps the choice I faced would have been different."

"That's why," the scientist said, realising it even as he said it, "it's one shot, one kill. It's not a boast. It's a pledge."

The assassin nodded. "Ah oath. I will never allow that to happen again," she said, voice deep in melancholy. "Not ever."

Winston had been around humans his entire life. He still needed help, sometimes, reading their emotions, reading their intent. Genetically manipulated or not, he was still a gorilla, with a gorilla's body language, a gorilla's interpretation of faces and tones, and in many ways, a gorilla's view of the world, and the translation to and from human always invited mistakes, always left room for error. But even so...

"I think I believe you," he said.

"On my word alone? Thank you for that," she replied.

"I'm not sure what you told was the real story, or the whole story, but I believe you believe it."

"There is very little I can authenticate, of course."

"Of course. Is there anything?"

The assassin nodded. "A little. When I use my laser microphone, it also records, automatically, in case I miss something." Starting a file transfer, she continued, "Here is a copy of the file from that night," she said, "It is not the best quality, but it's not edited, and, as far as it goes, I think you will find that I was accurate."

The gorilla nodded as his system marked the file as received. "I'm sure I will."

Amélie closed her eyes, and rubbed her temples. "Now, if you will excuse me, I am finished, and I need to go drink far too much wine, and possibly cry on my lover's shoulder until she makes me feel better. I hate telling this story."

"It does not make you look good, no."

"No, I suppose it does not. Good night, Winston."

"Good night..." he paused, "...Amélie."

#venom #venomaker #widowmaker #winston #overwatch #overwatch au #talon tracer #au #tracermaker #widowtracer #also on ao3

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