#but sometimes you're grieving a life you never got to live | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justblades · 11 months

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⌕ SEIZED, 18+

⟢ CHARACTER : luocha x afab! reader WC : 1.8k

⟢ WARNINGS : (EX)PLICIT, MDNI. lactation, breeding, netorare, d!ck deprived & d!ck drunk! reader

⟢ SUMMARY : an appointed family doctor visits a widowed mother to check up on her health, but it appears fate had other plans instead.

the incessant pelting rain continuously clatter against your home's rooftop, pitter pattering sounds ironically accompany the loneliness murking your heart. it has been a long week of just trying to get by with no hints where to continue next. without your husband, it's as if your pillar of support crumbled into smithereens, nothing but dusts of what were once a life being.

naturally, your peers and family come into the scene to help soothe your grieving soul, but as much as you hate to admit it, no words of theirs relieved the lingering sadness. feigning healing has been a routine so you don't worry your relatives too much— but then a surprising knock on the door veer your train of thoughts off course.

you check from the cameras to see who's the visitor and as you saw those familiar blond strands tied in a neat low ponytail and the foreign designed clothing, you swing the door open and give a greeting. "good evening, doctor. come in." he bows lightly, "pardon the intrusion."

with enough small talk while you lead the doctor to the vast living room of your own home, you bid your farewell for a moment to fetch some drinks, a kind gesture of welcoming your guest. "might i ask how's your girl? is she well?" the doctor queries kindly, viridescent hues flutter in curiosity. "yes, she's asleep actually. it's a little . . saddening to realize my husband never got to see our girl past 6 months." you reply, setting the tray on the long glossed table.

"my sincerest condolences. if ever you would like to seek help from a professional, i can name a few and refer you to them." his honeyed words felt rather wholesome. for some reason, being with someone you're not that particularly well acquainted with is refreshing. you've met with luocha several times from your husband's health check ups whenever you accompany him, so it's safe to assume luocha took up the role to be your family's doctor; after all, your husband is the type to entrust a reliable individual to support his wife.

luocha takes out his equipments so he can administer his check up regarding your physical health, bringing out his stethoscope and the familiar golden necklace laced around his gloved fingers. he proceeds with the usual basics, a question sparking one after another as a way to not bore his patient. "how are you faring nowadays?"

"honestly speaking, things are really bad." he nods, gesturing for you to continue. "i can't help but yearn for crumbs of intimacy sometimes." you chuckle at the end, coverig a light hand on your mouth. "from your husband exactly? or—" your gaze shifts to luocha's face, addled at the far fetched inquiry of his.

"—my apologies. that was below the belt." the blond male cuts himself off and an apologetic smile sits on his lips. however you dismiss it, "no no, don't worry about it. if anything, it feels nice to be accompanied once in a while. i can't open up my feelings to others given that i might cause them trouble," you pause, heaving a blue sigh and continue, "i doubt this will weigh you down, doctor. especially when you're in the medical field."

the vicinity then falls silent for a short while and your eyes gaze elsewhere, reminiscing the olden moments you were being showered with affection from a loved one. a gut feeling suddenly persuades you to look back at luocha; when you do so, the smile sculpted on his lips persists. his usual expressions were never eerie, but this time, for some reason . . it feels different from the usual. "it's a shame you're widowed at such a young age miss."

your eyes widen, heart beat racing against the hundreds of thoughts flaring up in your mind. "i don't know what you're hinting at, doctor." he closes in the remaining distances between the both of your bodies. you remain there sat on the wooden chair while the blond stands up and lowers himself just enough for your piercing, heating gazes to meet. "there is no need to bluff. it's okay." his voice deepens, jade hues reflecting a crystalline clear view of your curious expression.

as if the strings of your life become woven in a fruitful future once again, your sultry lips press against luocha's. getting a feel of his soft margins sends shockwaves of pleasure and longing in your system; you couldn't restrain yourself, restraint is not your forte. the kiss eventually transitions into a deeper one, tongues coming into the scene, tangling with each other's in sync.

luocha's eyes are shut, his breathing becomes sharp and ragged. it was clear cut that he's savoring your liquids, gloved hands now exploring your body. "miss, it was . . . supposed to be a lighthearted joke." he says in between the sloppy kisses, struggling to keep up with your fast rhythm. "drop the formalities, luocha." you retort, your stomach fluttering for more action.

it was his first time being referred to by his nickname from a favorite patient— fueling his carnal desire even more that it's impossible to extinguish its fervor flames at this point. luocha's hands quickly cup your clothed chest - his long fingers lightly dig on the plush of your tits, your breath hitches and the kiss finally ends, connecting your lips to luocha's with a naughty singular trail.

he skillfully rips the fabric apart, conferring him a full open view of your voluptuous tits— given that you're still breastfeeding. luocha's bulge underneath twitches, he bites his lips in impatience, a foreign feeling he has a hard time encountering. you let out a chuckle and take the initiative by pushing him back to his seat and straddle his lap, facing the doctor.

naturally, he's surprised, but you did not waste any more time by combing his lush flaxen hair with your hand and drag him to your boobs, perfectly aligning his mouth to your soft buds. a soft moan slips out once you got a feel of his tongue suckling on your nipple, "mhm, i never would've guessed you'd be into this as well."

the doctor doesn't reply but proceeds to toy with the other one, squeezing your flesh in an attempt to milk you dry - evident from how hard he's lapping your boobs up. your folds start to seep out of arousal from the lewd movements and you get a feel of luocha's erect crotch; you buck your hips to accumulate friction from the heating body part all the while urging luocha to drink more of your juices. in contrary to his gentlemanly, chivalrous nature, he's surprisingly greedy and rough as to how he nibbles on your hardened bud.

"h-how do i taste?" you skittishly ask and luocha pauses. "compelling." a mere singular word throws your mind in a daze, body tingling everytime luocha's feathery touches brush on your skin. "a flavor that's addictive, making me want to procreate with you so your supply wouldn't run out."

heat and blood rush all the way up to your cheeks, sexual passion brews in the depths of your lower abdomen. "i'll stand up as the father— we can be together . . ." he whispers to your ear, his hot breathe caressing your bare skin. your next move was more predictable: luocha watches with his predatory-like eyes while you strip yourself in front of him, legs farthest apart, muddy white beads trickling away from your lower lips.

your fingers spread your folds open, an immensely erotic view that will inevitably be etched in the male's mind for the longest time. "this is all yours." the corners of luocha's lips tug upwards as he removes his onyx glove with his teeth, proceeding to set it on the tabletop beside your vulnerable state. he resumes and brings his cock into full view for your eyes as well, stroking his girth until it stands tall and glorious. "you're surprisingly . . packing."

you were taken aback as he lifts your body up along with your left leg, draping it on his forearm while he teases his tip adjacent to your entrance. it happened too fast as if it occured in 20 machs speed, now rocking your hips, begging for him. "did you ever imagine this whenever you accompany your husband with his check ups?"

now that he mentioned it, you were left wondering. since when did you ever fantasize about your husband's doctor, much so that your façade as a goody two shoes wife immediately breaks down with the littlest, puny attempts?

just as when you were about to respond, he thrusts into your wet cunt, his girth filling all the remaining space inside your velvet walls. luocha's guttural moan erupts from his throat, gratification pooling inside him the more you clenched around his throbbing dick. you were tight, very tight that the doctor feels himself cum on the spot.

if it weren't for him pulling out from your slit, he'll have to instantly bury his seed of climax deep. "ah— luocha . . !" you yelp once he pistons in again, this time, his cock's tip kisses the surface of your cervix. ". . honestly. . y . . yes." you admit, embarrassment gnawing at your bones, words cut off everytime luocha pounces into your lewd hole.

his breathing becomes even more jagged, beads of sweat rivulet from his forehead, "i'm very close . ." your knees were about to give in as well, all the left strength in your body vanishing. "m-me too!" with another shared sloppy kiss in between the intercourse unraveling from both of your heated, lust brewed bodies, luocha pounds into your pussy swiftly, emitting squelching sounds both from his cock and the constant sucking and licking of your lips.

"hah . . please . . make sure you'll knock me up!" desperation heavily hints your words, enough to cater to luocha's preferences that were obvious the more time you got to spend with him. you figured it all out, how he likes your lactating tits, how he goes berserk just to procreate with you. although it all seemed a little too quick— perhaps this is how the higher entities planned it.

with one last balls deep thrust, all of his cum pool inside you, filling you to the brim. your melting moans of pleasure mesh along with luocha's, both satisfied from everything that transpired. luocha supports your trembling body with his figure and grabs ahold of your hand, bringing it closer to his saliva glossed lips. he places a chaste kiss on the back, leaving yet another ephemeral chill, running along your spine up and down.

"i'll take good care of you . . . your girl . . . and our soon to be baby. our newly built family."

my masterlist !

#luocha #luocha smut #luocha x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail smut #hsr x reader #hsr x reader smut #honkai star rail x reader smut #honkai star rail luocha

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emilyprentissluvr · 27 days

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TV (Emily Prentiss x Reader)

"What about the plans we made?"

Summary: In which you're grieving your dead wife. But is she actually dead?

Warning: Angst and mentions of death.

YOU WALKED along the cobblestone path, stepping over the cracks you had come to memorize. The sun was shining while the birds were chirping and you wanted nothing more than to shoot those damn birds and rip the sun from the sky.

It wasn't fair that beauty could exist when the love of your life didn't.

"Hi Em." You smiled sadly as you sat down across from your wife's grave.

It had been eight months since you'd gotten the call that your wife was dead.

243 days of existing without your other half.

34,9920 minutes of wondering why you had to fall in love with the most selfless, heroic, and caring person to walk this earth.

20,995,200 seconds of missing the only person who made everywhere feel like home.

"I brought you flowers," You said as you put the fresh pair of roses against her gravestone. "The worker at the flower shop said that I must have the happiest partner alive since I buy bouquets so much. How ironic is that?" You chuckled sadly. Not because you found it funny, but because you knew Emily would have.

'That wouldn't happen if you would stop buying me flowers' Is what Emily would have said.

"I never understood why you didn't like flowers," You said as you picked at the grass beneath you. "And you don't get a choice now. You broke our promise." You frowned as you threw the small pieces of grass at her grave.

"You need to let that go, my love' Emily would say.

"I was supposed to go first! That was the deal! But you broke our promise so I can do whatever I want. So if I want to fill your whole damn grave up with flowers then I will." You said indignantly. You knew you probably looked crazy to onlookers. Having a one-sided argument with a grave probably wasn't the best way of coping. Making up your dead wife's side of the conversation probably wasn't the healthiest either, but you didn't care. You didn't care about a lot of things these days.

'You are so stubborn sometimes' Emily would have said with a teasing smile.

"We're both stubborn," You said with a small eye roll. "I mean, we wouldn't be in this position if you weren't." Tears start to form at the corner of your eyes. You didn't think it was humanly possible to cry as much as you had over the last eight months. But here you were, the never-ending tears making their way down your cheeks.

'I'm so sorry sweetheart. I never meant to hurt you' Emily would have said as she consoled you. She would have scooped you up into her arms and tucked your head into the crevice of her neck where it would fit perfectly.

"It's not your fault. None of this is." You sniffled as you reached out and placed your palm against the cold stone of her grave. "It's just not fair! We were supposed to have a lifetime together. We had so many plans."

'I know my love. But just because I'm not here doesn't mean you can't live your life to the fullest' Emily would have smiled, ever the optimist. That had been a surprise when you first met over five years ago. While she may have been a badass, stone-cold agent on the outside, she was nothing but sunshine and warmth on the inside. Of course, you were the only one who got to see her soft interior but you didn't mind, you loved having a part of Emily just to yourself. But now you didn't have any part of Emily.

"I don't know how to move on without you, Em. How am I supposed to enjoy life when you're not next to me enjoying it too? How can I love anything when half of my heart is buried with you?" You cried, tears still flowing down your cheeks as you leaned your forehead against her grave. You cried until the birds stopped chirping and the sun went down. You mourned the woman Emily never got to grow into. You grieved the life you and Emily never got to live.

You didn't know how long you'd been there, but after your tears subsided you decided to head home for the night.

"Bye, Em. I love you." You murmured as you traced her name in the stone before standing up and walking along the cobblestone path once again.

The drive home was quiet. The radio was playing Emily's favorite station but you weren't paying attention. Maybe that was why you didn't notice the car in your driveway until you parked. You furrowed your brows as you recognized the black SUV, those were the ones Emily drove whenever she was on the job.

It wasn't unusual for a black SUV to be in your driveway. Emily's team would come to visit you at least once a week. You didn't know if it was because they felt guilty for her death or if they wanted to be close to the closest thing to Emily. You didn't mind it though, it was nice to have company to break up the silence of your house.

However, you knew the team was on a case. Penelope had called and told you that. So you cautiously walked up to your front porch. You shakily grabbed the keys from your purse and unlocked the door. "Hello?" You called as you walked to the living room where you saw a light on.

As soon as you walked in you froze. The purse in your hand drops to the floor. It was a ghost. The ghost of your Emily standing right in front of you. You closed your eyes wondering how your tired brain could conjure up such a perfect image of her. But when you opened them again she was still standing there.

"Y/n?" Emily's voice cracked as she laid eyes on you for the first time in eight months.

Your brain felt foggy and you couldn't find the flashlight to see through it. Were you hallucinating now?

Emily could see the shock on your face and the way her presence hadn't registered in your mind. "It's me," The brunette said, wanting nothing more than to wrap her arms around you and never let you go, but she knew she had to be careful. "It's Emily," She said as she walked toward your frozen frame slowly.

She was close enough now that you could feel her breath but you didn't dare to look anywhere but into her eyes. The same eyes that had watched you laugh, cry, and love. The same eyes you had spent years memorizing...

Oh my god. Was this real? Was this your Emily and not a figment of your grieving imagination?

Almost as if reading your mind she smiled, "I'm real, my love", she raised her hand slowly and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. You let out a shallow breath as you felt her touch and suddenly the fog from your brain had been cleared. This was real. The woman in front of you was your life, your love, your Emily.

You launched yourself at her knowing she would catch you. You were immediately wrapped into her embrace, feeling at home for the first time since you had gotten that soul-crushing phone call.

Nothing else mattered to you at this moment. All your questions and confusion could be answered later. Right now you were in your wife's arms and you never planned on leaving

"Emily." You smiled tearily as you tucked your face under her chin, the smell of perfume filling your senses. "Hi, sweetheart." Emily smiled as tears fell down her face, "I told you I would never break a promise."

#emily prentiss #criminal minds #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss fanfiction #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x y/n

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wjehfshs · 1 year

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Hope you are having a good day/night

I was wondering if I could request tf 141 boy x male reader who had went missing after recklessly sacrificing themself to make sure the team got out safe either with hostages or information your choice. At the time Ghost and Reader were in a relationship, but with reader going missing getting suck in enemy hands for 3-5 years (your choice) they think he's dead.

What happeneds when they hear about someone killing off enemy forces and possibly having Intel the team needs? What is it turns out to be their missing comrade? Reader's unrecognizable from the scar cover half his face, a missing eye, his vocal cords damaged so his voice sounds different (if you're ok with it maybe a cybernetic arm?) Who would put the dots together first? Maybe reader stayed away knowing they would be hunted and didn't want the people they cared about to get hurt?? Specially Ghost!

Thank you for the request! This is actually a great idea

Reader being reckless and self sacrificial, Ghost X Reader (romantic) reader being kidnapped, reader being tortured, reader having scars and missing limbs (replaced with a prosthetic arm) male reader, mentions of violence. Drug mention once, Ghost being depressed and somewhat having no will to live ☹️

Gore mentions

4 years ago, on a mission, you where being reckless, little care for your own safety, you where trying to get information from the other side about where they had illegal drugs stored, you where killings people left and right, not caring if you where sneaky or not

Unfortunately due to your recklessness you had gotten caught and thrown into a helicopter on the rooftop

Simon saw this and he tried to chase after you but someone attacked him before he could get to you, and everyone else was too far away

They tried tracking the helicopter but it was stolen and they left it in the middle of nowhere and probably took a plane back to base

For months Simon was stressed, they tried so many times to get you back

They just couldn’t find you

After 7 months Soap finally told Ghost it was probably too late

He didn’t wasn’t to believe it but there was nothing else he could do

For the next 9 months he was self isolating, rarely ate, obviously depressed

The others sometimes even heard him crying in his room

They tried to console him but it just didn’t work

They noticed he was also more violent on the battlefield

You where all he had, of course he loves his friends but you where the love of his life, the only one who he felt safe letting hold him

Everyone else he flinched away from but you, he felt warm in your grasp

That’s why he grieved for so long, he lost his only will to live

After more time passed he finally came to accept it, of course he still loved you but he knew he would never see you again

One day, they heard from Laswell that someone had attacked the opposing side, killing them in mass numbers.

Simon immediately knew something was up, he could just feel it in his gut

They had been sent off to the base to see what was going on

When they got there it hit them how many people actually got killed

“Bloody fuckin’ hell” Simon commented

“Out of all my years in the military, this is probably the worst case I’ve seen” Price mentioned

The base that they where at also manufactured high tech material such as guns and… prosthetic limbs. They noticed one of the rooms holding fake, robotic arms had been broken into, one arm being ripped out from its holding spot

They walked around a bit before they heard a crash

“Sh, there could still be someone here” Price whispered before he snuck towards the sound

When he saw a figure rummaging through the canned rations, he raised his gun, seeing that he was unarmed

“Put your hands in the air!” He shouted, the figure turned around, face scarred and torn, the back row of his teeth showing on one side, and, a cyber arm

They knew this was the guy who broke into the room

The room was dark so immediately Gaz turned the lights on to get a better look at the man

As soon as the lights buzzed on and the white light filled the room, Simons heart jumped, he felt like he was going to faint

It was you, the love of his life

The way he knew? The giant scar under your eye on the right (your left) side of your face

He dropped his gun and stepped closer

The others, after some time, came to the realisation that it was their missing teammate from 4 years ago

Simon ran up to you, engulfing you in a suffocating hug

He kept muttering your name over and over again, tears in his eyes as he was rocking you back and fourth

“I miss you so much, you don’t even know, I’ve grieved over you for so long, life has been so empty without you” he kept going on about how much he loves you and missed you

The others also put their weapons away and ran up to you

Simon let you go for a little bit to let the other’s suffocate you in their one big group hug

They had never seen Simon so soft and loving towards someone, it was almost a shock, for the past 4 years, even before you went missing, he was cold and almost empty

Simon cupped your face and traced his fingers over your scars he had never seen before

He was just so overwhelmed he let his tears spill as did you, he took off his mask and pulled you into a loving kiss, he felt like he was dreaming

After he finally pulled away to let you breathe, his eyes trailed down to your robot arm and brought your hand up to his chest

Even if you where missing a nose and had horrible scars, exposing the inside of your mouth, he loved you just as much

He felt like his heart was full again

After they finally got back to base you explained what happened during the past 4 years

After the other side took you to their base, they tortured you everyday, they forced you to work for them in their factory

During a freak accident while you where working, your arm was torn off

Later on after the accident you tried to escape but they set off a grenade close enough to you to do damage, but not kill you, resulting in the tissue of your face coming off

The other scars where from years of torture

You had finally managed to get a hold of some explosives and a gun with some ammo and had gone on a killing spree, grabbing a cyber arm from one of their rooms, and dashing from room to room to hide

You had finally learnt from your lesson all those years ago, you finally learnt to be sneaky and not just go for the kill when you wanted

That night after you said your good nights to everyone else, Simon led you to his room and pulled you to his bed

His grip on you never let up through the whole night

He was so unbelievably happy to have you back in his arms

Even while you where asleep he stared at you lovingly, tracing your face and leaving feather kisses all over

He couldn’t stop himself from crying himself to sleep (from happy tears ofc)

#cod x reader #cod mw2 x reader #mw2 x reader #ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost cod mw2 #ghost x reader cod #ghost x reader cod mw2 #cod X male reader #cod mw2 X male reader #ghost x male reader

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gingiesworld · 9 months

Text

I'll Never Leave You

Requested

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Fluff. Angst.

18+ MINORS DNI

Wanda remembers getting the phone call like it was yesterday. Although Vision had passed away almost seven years ago and she was now engaged. Moving forward with her life, she was happy. Although her past with her dead spouse haunted her.

Although Y/N was patient during the days that she still grieved the loss of her husband. They were slowly digging themselves deeper into a rut. Although Wanda and the twins had moved in with Y/N, they felt like an intruder in their own home.

Especially when they had tried to help Tommy when he got stuck with his Calculus homework.

"You're not my dad!" He yelled at them as their eyes widened. "You never will be and I hate you. I wish he was here and you died."

Y/N was shocked to say the least, instead of speaking with Tommy, they decided to go to their garage. They made themselves a make shift office their for their projects. Even sending an email to their boss to see if they were needed on an upcoming project soon. Knowing it would take more time away from home, if they can even call it that.

"Where are the twins?" Nat questioned as the two sat down for coffee.

"With Vis." She stated until she realised her mistake. "Y/N. They're with Y/N."

"Wanda, do you love them?" Nat questioned as Wanda just nodded.

"Of course I do." She stated. "I just still miss Vis sometimes and it hurts because the twins have had to grow up without their father too."

"I just, maybe this is unfair on Y/N." She reasoned as Wanda chuckled dryly.

"What do you mean?" She questioned her friend.

"I mean, Y/N is very understanding of the pain you've been through since losing Vision, but you're living in the past Wanda and it's not fair on them." Nat told her friend sternly.

"I'm not living in the past Natasha. Y/N and I are getting married." Wanda stated as Nat raised her brow.

"When?" She queried as Wanda came up empty. Since the moment she said yes, she hadn't even bothered to plan the wedding. "See? This isn't fair on them. I've seen how the twins treat them Wanda. They treat Y/N like dirt and I can see the toll it is taking on them."

"They would tell me." Wanda stated as Nat just laughed.

"No they wouldn't. They love you too much to upset you, but you don't love them enough." Nat told her as she looked at the time. "I have to get back to work but I will see you soon Wanda."

All Wanda could do was sit and think before she headed home. Although she loved Vision, she had a whole past with him before he was ripped away from her. But then she found Y/N when she never knew she needed someone, they were her light in the darkness. She was too afraid to let go of Vision and embrace the future she could have with Y/N.

"Where are you going?" She asked Y/N as she entered their shared room after seeing the twins on the sofa watching TV.

"I have a business trip." They told her as they packed their shirts. "I have been asked to consult on a project."

"How long for?" She questioned as Y/N shrugged.

"I am not sure. The project is only just starting and it is a pretty big one so I need to be in LA." They told her as she sighed sadly. She could see the walls they've put up to guard themselves as they spoke.

"We'll miss you." Wanda told them as they chuckled.

"I'll miss you." They kissed her softly before they headed to the bathroom for their toiletries. "But I know the twins won't bat an eyelid with me being gone." With that they bid their goodbye as Wanda remained in her spot. Wondering what they had meant by that. Looking around their shared room, smiling at a picture of the two of them last christmas at Nat's party. Pietro had had the twins so she and Y/N could have time to unwind.

It wasn't until she walked through the halls and noticed all of the photos that occupied the frames were of Vision, herself and the twins. None of Y/N. It seemed like they didn't even live there. Wanda also wanted to know what had happened to their photos so she went straight to the twins.

"Where are all of Y/N's photos?" She questioned the two 12 year olds.

"Dunno." Tommy remarked as Billy remained frozen in his spot.

"Tell me the truth because I had all of our photos packed away in albums other than a couple of the four of us together." Wanda told them as she turned off the television.

"They're not our dad!" Tommy yelled at her as Wanda's eyes widened at his outburst. "And they never will replace him."

"They don't want to replace him." Wanda told him softly. "They just want to be there for you both. Be someone that you can turn to for help. They don't intend to replace your memory of your father."

"But." Billy whispered as Tommy cried.

"I miss him." He sobbed as Wanda opened her arms for him.

"I know sweetie." She whispered as she gestured for Billy to join her. "But Y/N has tried their best to make this a home for all of us. They have tried so hard to be patient with the three of us, but it has been almost seven years since he died and I know it doesn't go away, but it does get easier."

"When is Y/N coming home?" Billy asked as Wanda shrugged.

"I don't know." She whispered as the two hugged her. "So please put their photos back in their frames."

"When can we apologise to them." Tommy questioned as Wanda gave him a smile.

"When they come home." She whispered. As the night went on, the photos were replaced as Wanda was also waiting on a call from Y/N. Wanting to know if they had gotten there safely.

Although Y/N had had the flight to LA booked, they still remained in their car in the car park. Watching as their flight soon took off as thet cried silently. They wanted so much to leave, drown themselves in work but they also loved Wanda so much, and her boys. They were the family they never really had and they are afraid to lose it.

So they sent a quick text to their boss, saying they were running late and needed to catch a later flight because of a family emergency. Then they drove as fast as they could home. Only Wanda and the boys on their mind. That was when everything happened so fast on the freeway.

It was early hours in the morning, Wanda was woken by a phone call. Her heart dropping at the deja vu.

"Hello." She answered wearily.

"Is this Wanda Maximoff?" They questioned.

"Yes." She whispered as she knew in some sense what this phone call could be.

"We have you listed as the emergency contact of Y/N Y/L/N. It appears they have been in a pile up on the freeway. They are currently in surgery right now." They informed her.

"What hospital are they in?" She asked as she started to get herself ready.

"New York Pres." They told her.

"I'll be there shortly." Wanda stated before hanging up and calling her brother. "How fast can you get here?"

"In 20 minutes." He answered tiredly. "Why?"

"Y/N has been in an accident." Wanda told him as she put her shoes on.

"Wanda." She could hear shuffling on the line.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." He told her. She sent a quick text to Nat, informing her of the situation. It didn't take long for both Pietro and Nat to arrive.

"I came as soon as I got the text." She told her as Pietro took his place on the sofa.

"Call me and let me know how they are." He told his twin as Nat ushered her out of the door.

"Are you ok?" Nat questioned as she drove.

"I don't know." She answered honestly. "That phone call brought back everything from Vis and I don't think I can go through that again."

"You won't." Nat told her sternly. "They are strong and I doubt an accident can take them down."

"I hope you're right." She whispered as she watched the buildings go by. As they parked in the hospital parking lot, the two quickly ran out of the car and to the reception. "Hi, we're here for Y/N Y/L/N, they were in a car accident."

"Ahh yes, they have just been put in their own room." The receptionist told them "They had just gotten out of surgery and the doctor will be able to tell you more. He will be here shortly."

"Ms Maximoff?" The doctor called out as Wanda nodded, stepping closer with Nat on her heels.

"Is Y/N going to be ok?" She asked him as he gave her a smile.

"They will be perfectly fine." He started to lead them to their room. "They had endured numerous superficial injuries and internal bleeding so we had to stop that. They also have a broken femur and will need intense physio once it is fully healed."

"When will they wake up?" Wanda questioned as the doctor smiled looking through the door.

"Take a look yourself." He opened the door allowing Wanda to walk inside. She gasped with tears in her eyes as her smile grew.

"You're alive." She whispered as she cupped their cheek hesitantly. "I was so scared. I thought I lost you. I can't lose you Y/N." She told them shakily as they smiled gently at her. Kissing her palm.

"I'll never leave you Wanda." They told her with certainty. "I love you so much."

"I love you too. So much." She pressed a kiss to their lips as her tears flowed freely. A weight had been relieved from her chest as she could breathe. Y/N is still here with her.

As the week went by, Pietro had been with the twins. Trying to keep them from making their own way to the hospital. That was until he got tired of it and ushered them into his car.

"Boys, what are you doing here?" Wanda questioned as the twins burst through the door.

"They wanted to see Y/N and quite frankly, I was getting sick of them." Pietro smirked as Wanda chuckled.

"We're so sorry for how we have been over the years Y/N." Billy told them as the two boys had tears in their eyes.

"Can you forgive us?" Tommy asked them as they just smiled at the twins.

"Of course." They smiled at the two. "I know I will never be your dad. I don't intend to replace him, but what I do intend to do is be there for you. The way he would want someone to be their for his family." They held Wanda's hand in their's as they continued. "I love this little family we have here, yeah all of those words hurt me. I am not going to lie there but I love your mom. I am in love with her and I know she may never love me the same as she did your dad but that's ok. I know that we love each other and we are willing to make this work. I don't want you to hide all of the pictures of your dad away. Maybe have one or two of him on the mantel and maybe make some room for new memories. The memories we will make together."

"That sounds perfect." Wanda whispered as Y/N smiled at her. The twins started to talk more with Y/N and they just listened to them. A silly smile on their face as they felt the love of their family around them.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #marvel #elizabeth olsen #wanda x you #wanda x y/n #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #wanda maximoff x you

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cumsuga · 2 months

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taehyung x fem!reader

genre. implied smut, fluff, angst, romance, non-idol!au, twin!taehyung, BIL!taehyung, widowedmother!reader

Your husband is dead, now you're trying to avoid the man that looks exactly like him. The only problem with that is trauma bonds people, sometimes in more ways than one

warnings: spouse in the military, death of a spouse, mentions of decapitation, sleeping with your brother-in-law, grief, implied unprotected sex (Be safe and be smart; please use condoms), infidelity, smoking, light drinking, taehyung may or may not be in love with his sister-in-law aka reader, you're a mama (no drama)

word count: 5k

18+ (Minors DNI)

A/n: First and foremost, thank you, @vintagedtae and @cxffee-addxct, for testing/proofreading; if I could give you two kisses, I would! I really needed the feedback. I don't know if I will make this a series because it differs from anything I've ever written, but I really like it. If anyone has seen the movie Brothers, it inspired it. I really hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy Twin Taehyung! Thank you all for reading and interacting with it. Please like and reblog! 💜

On January 30th, 2023, you received a knock on your door that would alter your life forever.

You met your husband when you were ten years old. He was sweet and gentle, and you knew you would get married when you two got older. When you turned 18, he joined the military as a combat medic. He would always tell you he wanted to be a real-life superhero. At 22, he asked you to marry him. It was a beautiful beachside wedding. At 23, you gave birth to your son; you never saw yourself as a mother, and sure, Azra was a handful, but you were happy. By 25, you were a widow, watching as they lowered your husband into the ground, holding your crying son.

The date was February 14th, the day he was supposed to come home, but you didn’t think it would be in a casket. You weren’t allowed to see your husband one last time. You were told they had gone out on a medevac mission when their helicopter was shot down. In nicer words, they told you your husband was decapitated, and they never found his head. And that was the image you would have to live with forever. The image of your decapitated husband never coming home.

On the day of the funeral, his family showed you and your son so much compassion. His older twin brother, Taehyung, held your hand as he was lowered into the earth. Everyone expected you to be a mess, but no one knew that you and your husband prepared for this. He talked about it often to desensitize you. While his dying in combat was always a possibility, you never thought in a million years that what you two spoke about in private would become a reality. So while internally you were destroyed, on the outside, you were stoic, unphased even.

After the repass, you watch quietly as everyone leaves. The only person who stayed was Taehyung. He told you he stayed to help you and that it was customary for someone from the family to stay with the widow while she grieves. Since he had no female siblings, his mother asked Taehyung to stay.

“Hey, why don’t you go lay down?” he asks, taking a sleeping Azra from you. You just look at him, the dark circles under your eyes prominent. “Okay, I’m going to put him in the nursery, and I’ll be right back.”

It was silent when he walked away. Quiet enough for you to finally hear your thoughts. The inner turmoil is finally getting to you, and at this point, you are far too tired to hold it in anymore. So you let it out, sobbing loudly into the chaise. When Taehyung hears you, he bolts, the need to comfort you overwhelming him.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay,” he says softly, cradling you in his arms. You pound your fists into his chest, angry at the world for taking your person. Eventually, you lose the energy to continue, balling your fists into his shirt. After what seemed like forever, you passed out in Taehyung’s arms.

Taehyung sighs in relief. What did he know about comforting anyone, let alone his younger brother's widow? What was he supposed to do to help you? Nothing he could say would ever bring him back, and telling you everything would be okay would only comfort you for so long. And who would comfort him? He lost his best friend since birth. He wasn’t like you, though. He never kept it bottled up. When you called to let him know, he dropped to his knees, sobbing loudly into the receiver before hanging up. He cried every day leading up to the funeral and even at the funeral, but no one told him that they were sorry for his loss. They only focused on you and his mother, but what about him? What about how he felt? He lost his identical twin brother, someone he spent every day with for 18 years. He had always held a little resentment for you for stealing his best friend, but right now, he loathes you. You weren't the only one hurting. He didn’t even want to stay here with you while you grieve. He begged his mom not to make him but was met with a slap to the face.

Nonetheless, he picks you up gently and carries you to your room. He sets you down just as gently as if you would break if he weren’t careful. He grabs the blanket at the bottom of your bed and covers you with it, tucking you in. He stands over you, admiring you briefly. He hated you for many things, and one of them was for being so pretty. He pushes the thought away, too inappropriate considering what is going on, before turning to leave.

“Sujin?” you call out to him. Your dreams came true. He came back to you, “Come back to bed, don’t leave me again.”

“I’m not Su-” he can't finish the sentence. You won’t let him. You desperately want it to be your husband. You know deep down it isn’t him, but lying to yourself will help with the giant hole you have in your chest right now.

“Please, Sujin… I’m scared.” it comes out so weak and pathetic that it genuinely pains Taehyung to hear. His heart breaks for you, the hatred he had for you dissipating. But he still doesn’t turn to face you, so you plead for him again.

“Close your eyes…” he says softly. Taehyung decides to do this for you just once. He knew that it would hurt you more if he just walked away. It would hurt him just as much to pretend to be his brother, but he just wanted you to sleep. “Tell me when they’re closed.”

You tell him, and he walks slowly to the bed. He cups your cheek and runs his thumb against it softly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you…” You lean into his touch, and he joins you on the bed. “Let’s go to sleep.”

Taehyung takes you in his arms once more on this terrible day. You bury your head into his chest, and he strokes your hair. He swears he felt you kiss his collarbone, but he chalks it up to you being delirious. He wants to hate you so bad, but to hate you would be to hate a piece of his brother. He wants to get up and leave you to wallow in your sadness, but he knows that isn’t what Sujin would want. Taehyung hasn’t felt so conflicted in his life, but what he is sure of is that seeing you call out for your husband hurt him more than he expected. And what he was absolutely sure of was that he would never let you cry like that again.

When you woke up, you felt arms wrapped around you. So you turned slowly to see who it was, and the face you saw excited you, so you cupped his cheek softly. You moved to peck him gently and realized who it was before you did. You knew it wasn’t Sujin because of the small moles under his eye and on his nose. So you jolt up, startling Taehyung in the process.

“What hell are you doing in my bed?!” you move away from him quickly. Taehyung is rubbing his eyes, looking around at where he is.

“Where am I?” he seems confused about where he is and who you are.

“Taehyung, why are you in my bed, let alone in my room.” You stand up and make a lot of distance between the two of you. You turn to face the door. The last person you want to look at is Taehyung. Right now, you hate the fact that he looks exactly like Taejoon. It makes you physically ill to look at Taehyung. But before you can dwell on that for too long, Azra is crying. You look towards the nursery sighing. "Anyways, get out of my room and go home.”

He nods and gets out of bed, “I’ll get the baby. Just rest, please.” He’s noticed you refuse to look at him, and he can’t be sure why, but it hurts him a little.

“No! No, I want you to leave, Taehyung. Please.” he moved back into your line of sight, so you turn away and walk to the nursery. Taehyung follows behind you.

“I can leave you alone, but I’m not going. I told my mom I’d stay for the next couple of weeks.” He takes Azra from you, and you move to take him back but are immediately deterred by his face. “You know you’re going to have to look at me eventually. I’m his uncle, I’ll be around…”

You sigh in defeat but still don't look up, “I don’t think you’ll ever understand how hard it is to look at you, Taehyung. It hurts... And I don’t want to cry anymore.”

He scoffs, “You’re not serious, right? I don’t understand? I have to do is look in the fucking mirror and be reminded of my brother. Someone I shared a womb and room with almost my entire life. You’re not the only person hurting.” he leaves with Azra to the kitchen, and you're just standing there. You want to yell at him, but you don’t want to upset the baby.

You knew part of you wished that Taehyung was Sujin and that life was normal. You thought it was unfair that you had to go through this. But he’s right; he isn't the only one hurting. You’d been so selfish with your grief that you weren’t allowing anyone to join you in it. And he was also right that you’d have to look at him eventually, but you'd deal with that when the time was right. Right now, all you want is your son.

“Can I have Azra, please?” Azra coos out a little mama when he sees you, and Taehyung looks over at you and then back to Azra as he feeds him his banana baby food.

“Um, we're having nom-noms right now. Right, Azzy? We’re having nom noms?” Azra giggles, repeating the word, and you wish you could be in his shoes. Living his baby life with no concept of death. You stared at him and realized one day, you’d have to tell him about his father, and tears welled up in your eyes.

“Taehyung, I don’t need your help. I need you to leave, please. You can come over later, but I want to be alone now.” You take Azra out of his high chair and walk towards the den. “We can discuss why you were in my bed after I take Azra to daycare, then you can come with me to pick up some of Sujin’s things from the base. Come back in 2 hours, I’ll be ready then…”

Taehyung reluctantly agrees. He’s scared to leave you, in all honesty. Sujin had mentioned to him about your past struggles with your mental health, but he didn't want to come off as he couldn’t trust you. He wanted you to know he understood what you were going through and was there for you and Azra.

You watch through the curtains as Taehyung pulls out of the driveway and drives off into the distance. You turn back to the living room and look around. You feel… empty. You knew that grief never grows smaller with time and that life grows around grief. It was such a cliche analogy, and it helped you when your grandmother died, but this was different. You and Sujin talked about getting old and grey together. About watching Azra graduate high school and college, get married, and have children. Now, it was just you, no Sujin, to help with the woes of parenting. You, at 25, are a widowed mom of one. You’re going to miss hearing the sound of him breathing when you lay your head on his chest. You’re going to miss the way he kissed you, held you, and made love to you. You would miss the way he would quote Napoleon Dynamite at the most random times. You were going to miss him. Plain and simple. You wish you had time to grieve but couldn’t because you had responsibilities. So you pushed yourself to keep going because of Azra.

About 2 hours later, you pull into your driveway, returning home from taking the baby to daycare. Taehyung is already there, waiting outside, smoking a cigarette. The feeling of annoyance was brewing inside you. But then you push the feeling away because how could you be annoyed with someone just trying to do the same thing you are; grieve. So you get out of the car and join him on the stoop. “Why are you waiting outside? You know where the house key is. It’s the middle of fall; it's cold.”

“I didn’t want to be reminded of him right away.” he takes a drag, handing you a coffee he picked up on the way back to the house, which you happily accept. “Your house smells like him still. It’s weird.”

You nod; he’s not wrong. It does smell like him, but you like that. You didn’t want to forget that smell. “Yeah, I know. It is kinda weird, isn’t it.” you chuckle softly. He smiles at you, and you meet his eyes finally. You feel something weird, something that makes you blush. He looks away quickly, taking another drag of his cigarette as he stands before flicking it. “Let’s go get my brother’s shit.”

An hour later, you finally leave base with the bit of stuff your husband left behind and some paperwork explaining how your benefits will now work. You don’t even care about that stuff, especially because this wasn’t how life was supposed to be going for you. You get back in the car and give Taehyung the box. “I have to go meet with a lawyer about his will. I need a witness so they can open it. Would you like to come?” He nods, and you drive off.

“So why were you in my bed?” you ask, looking over to see his cheeks are now rosy.

“Well, after you passed out from crying, I went to put you in bed and..” he looks worried; he doesn’t want to embarrass you.

“And???” you press.

“And…” He sighs, “And when I went to leave… You confused me with Su, and I didn’t have the heart to stop you, so I held you until you fell asleep. However, anytime I moved, you’d grip me tighter, so I fell asleep with you…” He rubs the back of his head, and you know he’s just as embarrassed as you are. “I know it was inappropriate, but you wouldn’t let me leave..”

“Oh..” the silence that follows is extremely awkward. “Well, thank you for staying, I guess..”

“Yeah, don’t mention it. Literally.” He chuckles.

The drive to the law office is quiet and gives you time to think about what his will could say. It’s strange, though, because he never told you about it. You just assumed when he died that everything would go to you and Azra by default, but knowing he had a will scared you. Because what could he possibly have to say?

“We’re here..” you don’t move, not even to unbuckle yourself. Your hands are gripping the steering wheel so hard your knuckles are turning white. Your heart feels like it’s going to explode. Taehyung takes your hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

“Calm down, nothing can get worse. I know my brother. He’d never do anything to hurt you.” You wished it soothed you to hear those words, but his brother had done something to hurt you. Of course, it wasn't intentional, but it hurt nonetheless.

“Taehyung, your brother has done a lot to hurt me. None of them like this, though. This one he can’t fix with flowers and chocolates.” you say, half giggling, the other half getting choked up.

“Listen, I know this seems like the end of the world, and trust me, it sure as fuck feels like it. But let’s be realistic. You’ll eventually grow to deal with the loss of my brother. You’ll move on with your life, find some awesome guy, and fall in love with him. You’ll probably even get remarried. Realistically, of course.” you just look at him. The way he could say the most asinine shit you’ve ever heard honestly pissed you off.

“Why the fuck would you say that to me right now? I just buried him yesterday. Are you dumb? Please just shut the fuck up until I tell you to talk.” You finally move to get out of the car, slamming the door behind you and mumbling about how much of an idiot he was.

But that was the thing; Taehyung wasn’t stupid. He just says ridiculous shit. In fact, Taehyung graduated cum laude from Stanford, which is why you can’t understand why he doesn't think before he talks.

He sits in the car briefly before coming out and following closely behind you. You two walk into the law office. The receptionist says she’s expecting you and leads you to a small conference room. “I’m nervous…” you sigh, fidgeting.

Before long, a tall, tan-skinned man walked in. He explained the legal jargon and then allowed you and Taehyung time to read over the will. But that's the thing: It wasn’t a will; it was more like letters to people in his life. You found the page for Taehyung and handed it to him. It wasn’t long before you heard sniffling coming from him. You smiled at him. You thought it was sweet how vulnerable he could be.

One page was dedicated to you, telling you all the passwords to his socials and bank accounts, where he had hidden money for Azra, and that he was sorry, but that was all. Nothing else was there. No, I love you, no, I’ll see you again someday, nothing. It was like all you were to him was a vessel to carry and care for his child. To say you were hurt was a complete understatement. But before you could take in the reality of what was happening, you found a page for a woman named Natalie. It describes how much he cared for her but also how much he regretted cheating on you while you were pregnant. He went on to tell her about the life he had imagined with her during their affair, but when you gave birth, it gave him a new meaning in your marriage and that he was sorry they ever got involved. He left her a small amount of money; it wasn’t said for what, only that she would understand what it was for. You only knew of one Natalie; you all went to high school together, but the last you heard, she moved to Los Angeles and hadn’t been back since. There was no way. This had to be Sujin’s idea of a joke. There was no other explanation.

You wanted to know when he even had time to cheat? If he wasn’t at work, he was with you. You try to think of any time he was not with you, but then you remember that he started going to the gym more often during your pregnancy. You thought nothing of it. He was in the military, for god sake. And you held on to that notion until you spotted her walking into the office.

“Hey, what does yours say? Mine tells me to take care of you and Az, and he finally admitted he broke my Donatello figure when we were younger. Plus some other stuff, but that's private.” He chuckles. He must’ve noticed your eyes glazed over because he waved his hand in front of your face. “Helloooo, anyone home?”

“He cheated..” is all you could squeak out. It’s almost inaudible.

Taehyung doesn’t want to believe that you just said, “What? How do you know that? Let me see.” he snatches the papers from your hands and reads them repeatedly. “No way, Joon would never do that.”

“He did, and she’s here. The blonde woman you see in the lobby. Thats her… I don’t think she knows I’m here, nor was I even supposed to read that. I don’t think he meant to put it in there.” You both sit there in silence; before you know it, you’re storming into the lobby.

She looked shocked to see you, like she didn't understand what you were doing there. “y/n, what’re you doing here?”

“What the fuck do you mean what am I doing here? What are you doing here?” You scoff. You can’t believe this lady. She has the nerve to question you like you’re the mistress. So, you do the most logical thing you could do in any law office. You slap the shit out of her. “So you like fucking married men while their wives are at home caring for their children? Huh? Huh? ANSWER ME!”

She looks terrified and confused, clutching her now red cheek. “Married. He told me you two were divorced and that he only wore his ring to keep appearances with his parents.”

“Oh please, you can’t be that fucking stupid. YOU WENT TO FUCKING BERKLEY! You knew; don’t play dumb with me!” You are furious and yelling so loud a crowd is starting to gather. Taehyung comes up behind you, trying to calm you so he can get you outside, but you’re struggling in his grip. “HEY EVERYONE, HIDE YOUR HUSBANDS NATALIE STARK LIKES TO FUCK MARRIED MEN. NO, LET ME GO TAEHYUNG!”

“Nope, it’s time to go,” he says, flinging you over his shoulder.

Taehyung finally got you into the parking lot, but you still weren’t calm. He didn’t know what to do or say, so he lit a cigarette and handed it to you. “Here, it helps with the stress.”

You take it. You hadn’t smoked a cigarette in almost two years, choosing to quit right before you found out you were pregnant. “Thank you,” you say before taking a long drag. The nicotine rushes straight to your head, mellowing you out. “I swear to god, your bother is so fucking lucky he fucking died before I found this out because I would’ve killed him my-damn-self.”

You sigh. Your world is crumbling around you. How could you not have known? And what did you do to deserve this? You never spoke down to him, hell you doted on the mother fucker, and still he cheated. He lied to you every day with a smile on his face like everything was fine. Why couldn’t he be a man and tell you he was unhappy? Why did he have to die for you to find out? You wanted answers, and the shittiest thing, about it, was that you’d never get them.

Taehyung is still quiet. You wish he would just go away because looking at him makes you angrier than before. “Can you turn around or something? Your face is pissing me off.”

“Listen, I understand you’re upset but don’t take that shit out on me. I’m not Sujin, I didn’t do shit to you. Get in the fucking car, I want to go home.” He snatches the keys from you and walks to the other side of the car.

You finish your cigarette and get in. By the time you two make it back to town, you have to go pick up Azra. So you drop Taehyung off at your house and get him. When you left, you told Tae you wanted him to be gone when you returned, but he didn’t listen.

You were too tired to argue with Taehyung, so you put Azra down for a nap and then walked to the kitchen. “You want a glass of wine? I have a feeling the rest of the week is going to suck as bad as today,” you call out to Taehyung from the kitchen.

“Yeah, sure. Can I smoke in here?” he’s walking around the den, looking at all the pictures. He stops on a photo of you two at your baby shower. He smiles fondly. If Taehyung was honest, he wished he was around more. He hadn’t seen you or his brother since Azra was born. And he regretted that.

Taehyung had a secret he told no one but hated you for. At your wedding, you told the story about how you met your husband, but the boy you met that day was Taehyung. He fell in love with you the moment he laid eyes on you. He confessed to you a week later and told you to think about it. When he went to find you the following day, he saw you kissing his brother; the rest is history.

“Uh, no, but we can go into the sunroom. It’s heated, and I have the baby monitor.” You leave the kitchen and go into the den, “Is that okay with you?”

Taehyung looks over at you. He wished that it was him that you had fallen in love with. He would never hurt you in the way that Taejoon had. He felt selfish for his thoughts about you. They were wrong. Especially considering the current circumstances. But if he was being honest, you’d never look more beautiful to him than you did right now. Your hair was messy, with no make-up on, in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. “Yeah, that's fine.”

You grab the bottle and some glasses and walk towards the sunroom, placing them on the coffee table and going to the sound system. You didn’t want to listen to the silence. You put on something soft and airy to help soothe your nerves. Your week had gone from bad to fucked up in a matter of 24 hours. Whoever you were in your previous life must have been one fucked up person because your current life is kicking your ass.

“Hey, you guys got it remodeled. I like it.” he looks around, admiring the work.

“Uh, no, I remodeled it. Your brother did jack shit but complain about how it was keeping him awake.” You roll your eyes and throw yourself into one of the many chairs, sighing.

Taehyung takes a seat next to you.“I’m sorry this is happening to you. I know I was giving you a hard time earlier today, but I just wanted you to know you’re not alone. I’m here for you completely.” He grabs your hand. You look down at your hands and then back at him.

“It’s just tough to be around you, Taehyung. Even more so now than before. I wish you would get that, but you’re so goddamn stubborn. And you’re really touchy, it’s weird.” You remove your hand from his and pour two glasses.

He chuckles. “I��m sorry. It’s just how I show people I care. But if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop.” He grabs a glass and takes a sip. He stands to open a window and then lights a cigarette. “Do you have an ashtray?”

You set one down on the coffee table. Taehyung turns to look back at where you set it, and for a split second, life feels normal. Like Sujin didn’t die, you didn’t find out he was cheating, and you felt happy. The silence that follows you is so comfortable. He smiles at you before looking back out the window. Then Fade into You by Mazy Star comes on, and Taehyung walks over to you.

“Dance with me.” He extends a hand to you.

You scrunch your face with a smile, “I’m tired.” you try to push his hand away, but he pulls you up by your hand. You give into the dance eventually, resting your head on his chest.

“I know I’ve said it a lot today, but I’m sorry about everything my brother has put you through… I would’ve never done that to you. You’re way too precious to me.” you pull away to look at him. And he stares down at you. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. And before you knew it, your lips were crashing together.

You both knew it was wrong, but it was like magnets. You two couldn’t pull away. Your hands move to the hem of Taehyung's shirt, sliding up against the smooth skin of his torso. He wasn’t lean, and you liked that a lot, so you scraped your nails against his stomach. “Take this off.”

He takes his shirt off and moves to take yours off. When he finally gets it off, he starts kissing down your chest, “I’ve wanted to do this since I was 15..” You swear you hallucinate him saying that. You unbutton his jeans and slide your hand into his boxers. He moans softly into your neck, and that was enough for him to snap. He tugs your sweatpants down, having you step out of the. He kisses your inner thigh before pulling your panties down, not even allowing you a second before he picks you up and pins you against the window.

Now, to say that Taehyung wasn't gentle was an understatement. He fucked you like he hated you like he wanted you to know how much you ruined his life, but also how much he was willing to give up to be with you. And as much as you knew it was wrong, you loved it. Neither of you talked the whole time. You both enjoy not being sad for once. When everything was all said and done, Taehyung set you down gently and walked away, sitting on the floor. He knew the severity of what had just happened and needed time to process it. But there was no going back from what just happened. You both had effectively ruined each other's lives.

You joined Taehyung on the floor, sitting behind him and leaning your head on his back. You planted a small kiss on his shoulder. You knew everything would be okay when he reached back for your hand to hold. “I’m gonna take care of you from now on,” he says as he kisses the inner of your wrist.

© @cumsuga 2016-2024. All rights reserved. — Unauthorized use or duplication of these works, including reposting, translating, and modification in any form, is strictly prohibited. DO NOT USE MY CONTENT FOR ANY AI PURPOSES WHAT SO EVER

credit to @cafekitsune for the dividers

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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months

Note

So… how do I word this uh what if the reader breaks up with one of tadc characters? Or vise versa?

Break up! (TADC cast x reader)!

YAHOO still trying to figure out who gets broken up with and who breaks up with you, guess we'll see when I write the actual post down!! Ueueue

Admittedly this post is more of a "how they are like" instead of "actual event of the breakup"

CAINE:

POMNI:

You break up with him...

Caine would never ever ever think of breaking it off with you... unless you find an exit and decide to stay with him. I wrote a post with that idea, and to make it short the guilt would eat him alive, making every day a living hell

But how would he be when you break up with him?

I think he would be all over the place. I mean you're his first romance, and you're his first heartbreak. Hes a mess. Hes crying, hes trying to bargain, and to fix what was broken

But then suddenly hes just

There

Neutral, as if understanding everything.. it's a little terrifying, and for a minute you think his coding is acting up. And maybe it is...

He isnt cold, he isnt holding a grudge, he just treats you like he treats the other circus members. Its actually a little... weird

Do I think his coming got messed up?

No, actually I think in secret hes grieving the relationship. But he now understands that this is just how things work out sometimes

Hes hurting but hes learning

She breaks up with you...

RAGATHA:

Its not that she fell out of love with you, quite the opposite actually. But the more she thought about it, the more.... difficult it would be for both of you. I mean shes tryimg to find the exit, and what are the odds both of you will be able to find each other in the real world? Would you guys even remember the events of the digital world when you escape...? Would...

Theres just so much, but even if it hurts her so so much she doesnt want to hold you down.. she tries to remain friends with you, but the hurt feelings make things hard for both parties

JAX:

You both mutually break up...

You guys probably break up after not coming to an agreement on life goals and big life decisions... I mean, as big of life decisions as you can in the digital world... now obviously you guys tried to find compromises and talk things through, but you guys just couldnt find any solutions where both sides are happy

Remember, resentment is a ugly thing that can ruin even the greatest things one can have. And this is especially true for relationships, romantic or otherwise

So in order to prevent that, you guys agree that you srent compatible with one another.. and thats okay

You guys are still friends, though!

KINGER:

You break up with him...

And he does not take it well at all. I think he would feel angry and betrayed. He wouldn't beg for you back, though. No he views that to be way too humiliating and he refuses to stoop that low. Actually I think if anything he would pretend you dont exist. And I think that's worse than just saying "he ramps up the pranks and targets you"

No, jax is emotionally immature imo, at least that's how I personally write him given we only have the pilot so far..

Very rarely does he actually acknowledge you, and even then it's cold and distant. Probably the least likely to get back with you

ZOOBLE:

You break up with him...

Theres probably a few factors that go into it. The general burn out that comes with a partner that struggles with mental health (because as horrible as it sounds, that is a valid reason. Coming from someone who is mentally ill and diagnosed with stuff, I would not blame my partner for leaving me if my symptoms began to wear down their mental health. It does not make someone a burden. Ones mental health is ultimately theres to deal with, and protect, but I'm not about to go on a tangent I'm just gonna say its valid), feeling that you can't compete with queenie, as well as a few other things

After the break up kinger seems

Lost

Like hes wandering around, and perhaps sometimes he even forgets that you guys broke up. It's sad. No one wants to see an old man cry..

But I dont think the grief will make him abstract. Actually, I dont think he would be nasty to you. Actually if you give him some time, hes actually still quite friendly with you, as well as understanding. You guys still remain friends

GANGLE:

They break up with you...

Likely, it could be that you overwhelmed zooble or made them feel like they werent good enough for you. Zooble themselves is very distant and checked out, and even more so given the current situation. But even then I dont think that there would be an event that would lead to the breakup; because otherwise I feel they would try to make it work

Or maybe, they have been and you guys just werent compatible..

It takes them a while to adapt to being single again, but they will get over it eventually. That being said they give me the vibe that they rend to avoid their exes

You both mutually break up..

Theres just so much going on, and given gangles very sensitive and shy nature and whatever issues you have going on, you both agree to take a break to try to better yourselves.. for yourselves..

I think out of all the characters, you guys have the most potential of getting back together

Gangle tries not to let herself get down in the dumps, but she still will miss you lots the first few weeks..

Even if you guys dont get back together, at least you both become better and more confident in yourselves for yourselves and any future partners

Of course this isnt to say that being sensitive or shy is a red flag or "ick", coming from someone who is those things. But sometimes it truly can become draining for a partner who has to be constantly be built back up. For the sake of both sides there needs to be space, or resentment can build and ruin everything. Is that mean and terrible? Yes. But its human

Add in whatever issues you have going on, you both agree it's better to split

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #jax x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

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lauralot89 · 1 year

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Loveless

I'm late on this because the book was published in 2020, but I only heard about it in the last month when I was reading an article about asexuality in fiction but in case anyone is out of the loop like me let me tell you about this glory

Loveless is a YA novel by Alice Oseman, author of Heartstopper and Solitaire. It tells the story of Georgia Warr, freshman at Durham University, and her realization that while she's in love with the idea of romance, the actuality of a romantic/sexual relationship repulses her.

Alice Oseman herself is aroace, which makes perfect sense because throughout the novel I kept asking myself, "How does she know? How does she know?! How did she get these thoughts out of my head?"

for my fellow ace and/or aro people, let me quote some of the lines that just got me straight in the soul:

"I had a theory that a lot of people's "celebrity crushes" were just faked to fit in."

"I was disgusted by the thought of him near me. Wanting things from me. That wasn't normal, was it?"

"Oh, God, this thing is actually real, it's not just in fanfics and movies. And I'm supposed to be doing it too."

"Did I even know what romantic feelings felt like?"

"He was clearly the sort of person who I should like romantically. Who I could like romantically. He looked like a boyfriend. I loved his personality. I'd loved his personality for years. So I could fall in love with him. With a little bit of effort. Definitely."

"I thought I'd understood what all these romantic things would feel like--butterflies and the spark and just knowing when you liked someone. I'd read about these feelings hundreds of times in books and fanfic. I'd watched way more romcoms than was probably normal for an eighteen-year-old. But now I was starting to wonder whether these things were just made up."

"Straight people don't think shit like that."

"Just because I'd never liked anyone didn't mean I never would. Did it?"

"I thought all the movies were exaggerating, but you're all really out there just craving genitals and embarrassment. This has to be some kind of huge joke."

"How could I feel so sad about giving up these things that I did not actually want?"

"I felt like I was grieving. I was grieving this fake life, a fantasy future that I was never going to live."

"How was it fair that everyone got to feel that except me?"

"I never had any crushes when I was a child. Not any real ones, anyway. Sometimes I confused friendships for them, or just thinking a guy was really cool."

"For a long time, I was just dating and having sex because that's what people did. And I wanted to feel like those people."

"You've been so confused about stuff. You really thought we could be together, because you do love me. Not in a romantic way, but just as strongly."

"Oh. This is an asexual thing. I forgot other people are obsessed with having sex."

seriously the entire time I spent with this book I just kept asking "was this written for me specifically?" because that's exactly how it felt.

It is a gorgeous book that explores that bizarre feeling of not knowing the word for what you are, not even knowing that you are something out of the ordinary because we don't define ourselves by what we lack and we just expect that one day, it'll happen and we'll be like everyone else. That struggle of trying to differentiate between loving someone and being in love with them, and trying to make the former into the latter and hurting everything in the process.

It is so good. 10/10, no complaints

also there's an asshole in the university's queer pride group who doesn't think aces belong and everyone hates him so that's fantastic, aphobes fuck off

in conclusion I highly recommend it

#Laura reads Loveless #Loveless #Loveless novel #Alice Oseman #Loveless book #aroace #actuallyasexual #actuallyaromantic #asexuality #aromanticism #ace representation #aro representation #asexuality in fiction #aromanticism in fiction

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thegoodending-thelasttime · 4 months

Text

my reaction to the resident lover lore drop: part two

access the doc yourself here

spoilers utc

DONNA CONTD

i have a lot to say about the the donna and daniela relationship section, none of which i feel capable of putting into words for the time being. i will, however, say this.

"Donna is watching what could've been in regards to her past self when it comes to Dani and MC"

"Just sometimes [Donna] really wants to hit [Cassandra] you know?" i think a lot of people in the fandom know after Cass' infamous neutral ending

"She grieves but she lets herself live too." all the muscles in my face are convulsing

"Donna struggles to stand up for herself for a long portion of her route and only through the aid of MC will she start to show a little more of her backbone." Donna. i can help you be brave Donna. pick me. choose me. love me. (delusional 3)

"There is a brief scene in which Miranda and Donna are having tea while Donna has a complete and utter breakdown about just how on the edge she is. Miranda of course encourages her to keep spiraling..." miranda i'm going to get you.

"Donna is mentally unstable at this point and can either be sent into the abyss or helped out of the low point toward a brighter future." I CAN HELP YOU TOWARD A BRIGHTER FUTURE DONNA I SWEAR PLEASE (delusional 4)

Depression being a theme is just. I'm going to write a hurt/comfort fic about this.

and, "Destiny [Soulmates]" don't think I'm normal about that either. cuz i'm not.

the nursery being an allegory for Donna. my brain feels like a backyard and you're mowing it with a tiny little lawnmower.

"Hades and Persephone" words. in my mind.

glad that Donna fans unknowingly cracked phantom of the opera though, that's fun

"...she is not unwilling to lunge towards Miranda herself and brandish a weapon in her direction." she's so real for this

"Miranda has had to trigger the loop several times in reaction to a violent outburst of Donna’s." WOOOO YOU GO BABE. FUCK UP MIRANDA'S LIVES HELL YEAH

"MC shows unconditional and unwavering love towards someone with severe abandonment issues and gets a very attached flower shop owner for their troubles." SHUT UP MY HEART.

"...a small part of her is pleased to know she got the upper hand on Miranda. Donna’s ability to make MC explicitly reject Miranda has left the goddess incredibly pissed..." FUCK YEAH

"Post Donna Miranda is particularly cruel about how she treats the toxicologist and parades MC near her but never in reach." top five sentences that make you want to kill a cult leader

"LIKES: Stuffed Animals..." help i love her so much my heart really can't take this

"LIKES: Pranks. I’m sorry she’s a menace" i'll prank her back (by kissing her on the face)

"DISLIKES: Those really sad adoption commercials where they play ‘I Will Remember You’ while a slideshow of really sad puppies plays. They make her cry" NO DONNA POOKIE BEAR DON'T CRY COME HER LET ME HUG YOU

"DISLIKES: Miranda" OMG SHE DISLIKES MIRANDA TOO (shocker) !?!?! WE'RE SO SIMILAR WE SHOULD MARRY ACTUALLY

MIRANDA

MC and miranda being burned alive the first time around. man wtf

love that they were both canonically sickly victiorian children at one point

"Death penalty for sodomy" that actually has me so fucked up. how could you do this to me

"[MC] Drowned, Miranda was nearby but chose not to save them" WHAT WHY

"Mia got mad and threw a stone at MC" i would get mad too if i saw someone repeatedly fall for miranda over the course of multiple timelines

"Miranda ran MC over in an accident" HELP 💀

miranda really fell for the unluckiest motherfucker goddamn. tom and jerry ass

"Yes + Mia" "No + Mia" best way to word this. i will be using these from now on. ask me a yes/no question i dare you.

"This life is when the very first iteration of Eva is born and it completely changes Miranda’s soul as a confounding variable in their soulmate-hood" oh my GOD. i'm a little scared miranda's section might be making me start to like her a little.. NO I REFUSE. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.

"Toxic Yuri + Loving" thank you Cinder. i appreciate you for your silliness.

really wish we got more eva content but oh well. maybe in the dlc content the team said would probably come out in a few years/maybe more

"Mia’s soul has slowly changed over time and has grown to naturally despise Miranda’s soul for its unwitting part in MCs death every life" nvm i like Mia infinitely more than miranda

"Mia acts as a foil to Miranda’s relationship in every life they meet because she is - without fail - naturally resistant to them being together and highly suspicious of the way Miranda behaves" FUCK MOTHER MIRANDA ALL MY HOMIES HATE MOTHER MIRANDA. MIA'S A REAL ONE.

"[Bela and Miranda] would be insane if they worked together, but unfortunately, they are narratively designed to be pitted against each other" i disagree i think it's very fortunate they're not on the same team

"Miranda is afraid of [Donna] because she remembers every single time loop... Donna is also handy with sharp objects and has been known to attempt a few murders at meetings when pushed..." fuck yeah. be afraid miranda.

"...views Donna as “cursed” due to her family history of deaths" can i say kys just this once (to miranda).

"Intrinsically offended when MC chose Donna during the loop" be offended. L + bozo + cry about it + Donna's better

"[Donna and Miranda have] used each other as crutches in moments of weakness... they used to have regular tea together in which they would act out their familial roles and encourage each other further down their spirals" i'm actually not okay rn thanks for asking!

...that legitimately has me so fucked up

"Miranda actively encourages Donna’s fears to keep her under control..." "She would kill Angie to both punish Donna and to relieve herself of the annoyance" hey miranda come here. what do you mean, i don't have anything in my pocket. don't worry about it just come here. so i can... hug you. SHANKS YOU MIA STYLE BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS TIME SHANKS YOU MIA STYLE BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS TIME SHANKS YOU MIA STYLE BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS TIME

"Miranda and MC are soulmates, all the way up to their 19th life this is 100% proven and true (even though they don't always get to meet) but the 20th life is different because Miranda is still in her 19th. It could be argued that MCs soulmate is who 20th Miranda was supposed to be. (Could've been if a coin had been flipped)." I'M ACTUALLY HYPERVENTILATING RIGHT NOW THANK YOU FOR FEEDING USTHANKYOU MY HEART OH MY FUCKIUNG GOD ASDFGUIHUADSDHLFKAJHSDFKLGJHDAFKJG. I BANGED ON MY DESK THAT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE WHAT THE ACTUASL FUCK

"MC would go into divorce arc which is salvageable but very long winded" need yall to elaborate on this, also it made me giggle

"The only exceptions are Mia (who told Miranda to fuck off), Bela (who still remembered), and Angie (who doesn’t listen to anybody)." that's so based of all of them. naming them the based squad for this.

"DISLIKES: Her height being mentioned" i don't care if it's a low blow and that she's actually one inch taller than me. i'll call her short. short ass. imagine being 5'6" lmao

part three coming up

#resident lover #resident lover lore #resident lover spoilers #resident lover donna #resident lover donna beneviento #resident lover daniela #resident lover daniela dimitrescu #resident lover mc #resident lover bela #resident lover bela dimitrescu #resident lover mia #resident lover mia winters #resident lover angie #resident lover angie beneviento #resident lover miranda #resident lover mother miranda #resident lover cassandra #resident lover cassandra dimitrescu #resident lover eva

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moorishflower · 2 years

Text

see the thing about Dream is

the thing is

it's very tempting to look at Tom Sturridge and go ah yes my sad scrungly wet cat anthropomorphic personification, because he does have Those Eyes and That Hair, and then it is very tempting to look at some panels of Dream in the comics and go ah yes my depressed weird friend who lives in a void, except sometimes i feel that this is too humanizing, especially if you're talking about Dream pre-1300s

and i think in the comics in a lot of his pre-Hob Gadling interactions with mortals you can see that he is balls to the wall batshit insane

his track record with loving mortals is absolutely bonkers

>Nada, Queen of the First City, pursued Dream and then when she discovered who he was went "oh shit, humans loving the Endless is forbidden by my people, we definitely shouldn't" and Dream confronted by a mortal he couldn't have went grabby grabby hands, convinced her to fuck him anyways, and then condemned her to Hell afterwards because the sun nuked her city and Nada, grieving, said she didn't want to be Dream's Queen (on account of the sinning)

>Killala of the Glow, an alien lady precursor to the Green Lanterns who punches through to the Dreaming by accident and Dream falls in love instantly, he knows her for basically 3 months and invites her to a cosmic entities convention to show her off, does not tell her that all of these people are literal quasars and planets and shit. she freaks out understandably, seeks comfort in the arms of the sun of her world (encouraged by Desire), and Dream, seeing them embracing, just fuckin leaves her there "the sun'll get her home," he says, "they're going to the same place, i'm not crying YOU'RE crying"

>Alianora, who was sent by Desire to help Dream fuck up some old gods, was given her own private island and also one of the Dream-Stones (for show fans, the ruby is a Dream-Stone!). i sincerely believe the only reason that Dream lost interest in her is because she spent so long in the Dreaming that if she tried to wake up she would die, and Dream is absolutely fascinated by things that can change (prob because that's his tragic character flaw is he can never change himself quite enough)

he don't got a great track record with his non-mortal lovers either (Thessaly, An Witch, and Calliope, the Muse), but over and over again with mortals, brief and ephemeral and changing, Dream cannot regulate himself. he burns super hot, super bright, and then either gets sucked back into work, or the fact that he has 0 Chill puts his lover off entirely. he has no concept of compromise and he's unable to not throw himself wholeheartedly into love. having Dream love you must be like being loved by a hurricane or the core of the earth. can you imagine what that would be like? having the attention of something that huge and fathomless and ancient focused on you like a laser? it would be like being crushed under a mountain.

this is why i think Hob Gadling is such a fantastic foil to, and the Premier Ship Of, Dream. Hob Gadling also throws himself wholeheartedly and joyfully into every new thing, Hob is out there living his best life and telling stories and i think he mentions doing cocaine in like the 90s in one of the comics? but, point being, Hob doesn't ever let immortality go to his head. he is the most mortal mortal that ever mortaled, he just happens to have a concept of eternity that, no matter how infinitesimally, actually approaches what Dream is.

it's just that the dynamic you get now, with a mortal who understands the true concept of endlessness, is "Hob I have brought to you a brooch forged from the heart of a dying star, pearls harvested from oysters that have never seen the sun and never will, sapphires infused with the waters of Eden"

"oh that's gorgeous dear how thoughtful I'll put it on the shelf with the Polished Sphere of Crystallized Auroras and Hope"

and then Dream fucks off to do his job for like 8 years and Hob isn't too fussed because he spent like 6 centuries waiting for this weird wet cat of a man to fuckin introduce himself, he can wait a few years for them to meet up for dinner again

anyways i wrote all of these as a partial explanation as to why Dream is so fuckin weird and turbo in Husbands, and it's because he's a sad scrungly pathetic cat man AND he's also an enormous endless eldritch creature that has no concept of emotional regulation but also a terminal fascination with the changeability and fragility of mortals that translates into absolute fucking insane love

#the sandman #the sandman meta #dreamling #dream of the endless/hob gadling #dream/hob #the sandman (2022)

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73chn1c0l0rr3v3l · 5 months

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if you're willing to share, i'd love to hear your thoughts on adoption/found family/people being weird about it. the way things ended up in that episode felt kind of off to me and i'm still trying to put my finger on why.

I'm writing this with a headache, so please forgive if it is a bit meandering.

I'm also going to state up front I am not talking about the adoption industry & all of the shitty stuff involved in that - I'm talking about my own experiences as an adoptee.

First things first: people are Weird about adoption. There's this assumption that people are default genetically related to their family unless stated otherwise, there's the assumption that people will want to be connected to their blood family, there's this assumption that biological family is always the best answer. I think a lot of people have a lot of default assumptions about what family IS & what it means, & they get uncomfortable if you question them.

There are 2 adoption narratives - either your adopted family is horrible & you find your biological family & stuff is Better, or you leave your horrible biological family to get adopted into a family that is Better. There's nothing for "i won't ever have access to the biological family, & I don't entirely relate to my adopted family either," or "my biological family loves me but I can't be in their lives because our values are too different but I don't actually like my adopted family but they're who I grew up with" or even the very succinct "they both suck, okay?" There's a huge variety of experience, & I feel like a lot of the nuance gets lost on people who don't relate for whatever reason.

It's one reason the Timeless Child resonated with me so hard? Because yeah, sometimes you don't know who you might have been & you mourn it, but you can't be anyone but the society that raised you. On a more personal level... well, Tecteun very intensely reminded me of my mother, & I was rewatching Flux (including That part) the night she died & uh... certain parts of that sure were familiar.

It's really frustrating as someone who is currently sorting through some VERY complicated family feelings - my mother (my actual mother, the mother who raised me) died in September. My father - the man I grew up with - died in 2012. I haven't heard from most of my family since then - I didn't hear from most of my family when my mother was dying, which happened over months. I haven't heard from my father's family in more than a decade at this point. They were not there when I was suffering as a kid, they were not there when I needed support as a teenager, they were not there when I was coming into myself as a young adult. Family to me isn't a thing that you WANT, because what's the point of it? I understand it's a different thing for other people, but these things are never one size fits all, & I resent them being treated as such.

If you came up to me & said "you can travel with the Doctor through time & space & you get a SPACE DAD or a SPACE MOM" I would run very fast in the other direction. I've got parents. Depending on how you look at it, I've got more than the usual set that most folks have. I don't want a replacement or an additional parent - I want to grieve the ones I have, untangle the feelings I've got about them. I want people in my life who care about me, who I care about - friends, lovers, mentors, partners, & all those other relationships that you don't have names for. I like it when things don't slot into place neatly.

Which leads me to my issues with found family as a trope. My main issue with it is that it treats the whole thing as very... one size fits all. That everyone *wants* to be part of a family with a mom & a dad & a grandmother & kids. Versus wanting to be in a polycule, wanting to be in a friend group, wanting to be part of a community. I feel like with the ending of the Giggle, it was slotting the Doctor (& Mel) in the parts of a traditional family - they're the aunt & the uncle now! Not blood related, but still having a designated Place. Which possibly ties in to people being weird about adoption, since merely being Not Blood Related somehow makes it different.

I am, admittedly, also allergic to labels. My only label irt my sexuality is queer, I do not have a gender, I have stepped off the various spectrums & am just... me. What I like about the Doctor & their relationships is that most of the time they're in that same grey area? Is the Doctor Sarah Jane's lover? Her best friend? Her avuncular old uncle figure? Her mentor? They all apply to varying degrees, but they're all also valid, & I love that.

I could also talk about my SPECIFIC issues with how it was done in the giggle, but most of that comes down to taste, & we all know that varies from person to person to a much greater degree.

I am also not telling off people who do like found family & those dynamics- I'm really glad there's so much space for so many interpretations! I'm really glad there are so many different enjoyments to be had!

... I'm not sure if all of this entirely made sense, but thank you for letting me ramble a bit.

#doctor who #i didn't realize i had so much to say #spoilers #thanks nonnie

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mialuna32 · 1 year

Text

I missed you, I promise - Sebastian Sallow

Word Count - 2505 words

Themes - Angst and fluff with a happy ending.

@froggoslegs

"Hi! How about post-game for Sebastian? Like, how mc accepted all that happens? :) Sweet sweet hurt comfort with a lot of hurt and dash of fluffy comfort at the end? 🙈"

Warnings - Cursing, homophobic slur, (only once though) talk of dark magic, mention of death, grieving of loved one, soft Sebastian :)

Summary - It is the beginning of another year at Hogwarts and Y/n is hoping to avoid Sebastian at all costs, as he continues grieving the loss of Professor Fig, but it seems that Sebastian Sallow has other plans.

Sebastian Sallow x Male Hufflepuff reader.

Professor Fig was a mentor.

Professor Fig was a friend.

Professor Fig was the father you never had.

But that didn't matter anymore.

He was gone.

He was gone and now you had no one.

Professor Fig probably would have assured you and say something along the lines of.

"You cannot blame yourself son. It will do you no good, things will get better, I promise."

But it didn't matter what Professor Fig would say

He was gone.

..............................................................................................................................

You do not have a lot of memories of either of your parents but from what you know, both of your parents were muggles not having any knowledge of the wizarding world, or the fact that their son would become a powerful wizard.

Your father passed away from an unknown sickness before you were born and your mother died when you were 5 years old after from some sort of heart disease.

After your mothers death you were taken to live at a children's home, you spent 10 years alone in the orphanage unaware of the magic that you would soon possess.

The year of your 15th birthday, peculiar things started happening, books would begin floating, candles would suddenly light themselves and toys would move on their own. You ignored all of these occurrences in fear of being accused of witchcraft.

But one day after you had finished your schooling, you began to walk back to the children's home when suddenly someone had grabbed you from behind and pushed you into an abandoned alleyway.

When you got a good look at your attacker you noticed that there were three boys who also lived in the same children's home.

They were probably not even a year older than you.

But they were bigger.

They were stronger.

It was three against one.

You had no chance.

They started pushing you around, taunting you, saying how you're going to be burned at the stake.

They pushed you to the ground holding you down making you scream and cry.

You do not think you'll ever get their horrible words out of your mind.

Freak.

Coward.

Stupid.

Ugly.

Crybaby.

Homo.

Then all of sudden something inside you snapped and you let out a blood curdling scream that caused a powerful force to throw all three boys into the wall down to the ground.

They didn't gain any fatal injuries.

A few cuts and bruises at the most.

Fortunately for you though Professor Fig had been passing by.

He had witnessed the whole thing.

Professor Fig oblivated the boys and took you in.

Professor Fig was a remarkable human being.

He was kind.

He was loving.

He was understanding.

He was patient.

He gave you food, water, shelter and care.

He taught you everything you needed to know about magic.

He made you feel like a carefree child again.

He made you happier than you had in long time.

He was everything you ever imagined for a father.

He was everything you needed for a father.

But now he was gone.

..............................................................................................................................

Losing Professor Fig had been the biggest loss of you're life.

Add on the pressure of controlling ancient magic, Rookwood and Rankrok, Lodgok's death, Anne's curse and losing two of your closest friends.

Losing him...

It was a lot to handle and sometimes you feel more alone than you did in the muggle world.

Luckily your fellow Hufflepuff and closest friend, Poppy Sweeting was not the kind of girl that would leave her friends vulnerable and alone.

Poppy owled her grandmother, Clementine Sweeting explaining to her of your situation and she immediately requested that you stay at their home.

So for the entire summer you lived with Poppy and her grandmother, you were even given your own bedroom, 3 meals a day and you and Poppy got to care for magical creatures, going on late night adventures in the forest beside Poppy's home, sleepovers in each other bedrooms.

It was the most fun you've had since you lost Professor Fig and realising that, you think that you really will be ok.

You may have had lost a father.

But you gained a sister.

..............................................................................................................................

As you walk down the halls of Hogwarts, you feel yourself almost excited to finally be back, you may have lost a lot in the last year, but you have gained a family with the Sweetings, found love caring for magical creatures and finally learning how to control your ancient magic.

As long as you can avoid a certain Slytherin boy everything will be perfect.

You are so lost in your thoughts that you don't see the body coming towards you.

You bump into someone, causing you to stumble back slightly in surprise, you let out a breath of relief as you brush down your hair which you have recently begun styling with the help and advice from Clementine Sweeting.

You begin to apologise to the person that you had accidentally bumped into, when you look up and notice the dark brown eyes looking into yours.

His hand is inches from yours, as he continues to stare at you.

You bite your lip, not knowing what the other boy is going to do.

Until you feel a hand brush against yours.

And a piece of parchment is slipped into your hand.

He closes his hand around yours, tightening your grip on the piece of parchment.

He then walks off leaving you flustered and red in the face.

You then look down at the parchment that he had handed you before unrolling it and reading the messy scrawl.

Dear y/n

Please meet me in the undercroft after dinner. I wish to speak with you. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Forever yours You're favourite Slytherin.

You cough trying to regain you're composure as you attempt to fix your hair once more and straighten out your uniform, before slipping the letter into you're robe pocket and continuing you're walk to the great hall.

Stupid Slytherins.

..............................................................................................................................

You enter the great hall for the start of term feast, donning the vibrant black and yellow Hufflepuff robes once more.

You can't help but feel the dark gaze of a certain Slytherin following your every move.

You ignore the stare that you feel burning through you and continue walking towards the Hufflepuff table.

You sit down at the Hufflepuff table smiling kindly at Poppy and the other Hufflepuffs that you are familiar with from last year.

You talk with Poppy and discuss how you are both excited for classes to start, you are both especially looking forward to this years care of magical creatures classes.

Poppy gives you a knowing look whilst you are the middle of eating dinner. You raise your eyebrows at her in question before she giggles, leans towards you and whispers in your ear.

"A certain Slytherin boy is watching you"

You roll your eyes in exasperation before swatting her lightly on the arm.

She giggles even more and you can't help but let out a small laugh before you both go back to your dinner.

But you can still feel his stare as you continue to eat

And the letter he had slipped you before dinner, burns a hole in your pocket.

When the feast is over and everyone is dismissed to their dormitories. You tell Poppy how you need to discuss an important matter with Professor Weasley before classes begin tomorrow.

Poppy clearly knows you're lying but lets you go without complaint knowing who you're going to see.

..............................................................................................................................

As you step into the undercroft you notice that nothing has changed since the last time you visited.

You smile at the multiple scorch marks on all of the walls.

You smile once again at the memory of him teaching you Confringo.

You can still smell the smoke from his robes when you were practicing the spell.

You also remember how this was one of the last happy and innocent memories that you shared together before everything that had happened.

You then notice the brunette boy with dark eyes boring into your soul, he is leaning against the stone wall in a dark corner of the undercroft with his arms crossed over his broad chest.

His Slytherin robes have been abandoned off to the side, now only wearing his school uniforms three piece suit and it somehow makes him look even more attractive than normal.

He looks you up and down, but stays silent.

You scoff to yourself before you turn on your heel and attempt to leave the undercroft before a hand wraps around your wrist and spins you forward to face him.

You let out a soft squeak.

Your face turns scarlet.

You bite your lip.

And drop your head down to stare at the ground.

He lets out a chuckle and it makes your face flush in embarrassment even more.

You suddenly feel a hand softly touch you're face as he tilts your head up towards him.

And for the first time in what seems like forever, you get a good look at him.

He has clearly gained a lot more muscle over the summer, his muscles showing through his vest top and shirt.

He has also grown over nearly a foot and half tall, and his shoulders and chest have become much broader so now his frame is towering over yours that it makes you weak in the knees.

But then you remember.

You remember the pain.

You remember how he didn't even hesitate to cast the spell.

You remember the manipulation.

You remember the hurtful words he had said to you.

You remember the evil that you saw in the eyes that used to be so comforting.

You remember the words he had shouted as he cast the spell.

You remember a body hitting the floor.

And suddenly all you want to do is scream and cry.

You have seen so much for someone so young.

You tear yourself away from him, tears building up in your eyes like they had done so that night.

He looks at you in concern but remains silent, which makes you're blood boil with anger.

"Well you wanted to talk, so talk!! I'm not stopping you.'

You hate that the first words you say to him in over a year are in anger but you suddenly can't help yourself.

The anger inside you begins taking over.

"God I really must be an idiot if I fell for another one of your tricks"

His mouth opens as if he is about to speak but closes his mouth once again, seemingly stunned by your forwardness.

You let out a pained chuckle at his reaction before you cross your arms over your chest.

"Oh wow!! it seems that I of all people have left the great and marvellous Sebastian Sallow in shock!! I'm honoured!!"

You have begun raising you're voice in anger but your facial expression does not match your words or tone as Sebastian can see the tears rolling down your face.

He lifts his hand towards your cheek to wipe away the tears, but you flinch away from him as you look at the boy in front of you.

"I-I understand that you were looking for a cure to help Anne, I really do Sebastian, but you have to understand that you went to far!!"

You expect him to stay silent as he had been the entire night or to disagree with you just like he had been the year before but as he looked into your eyes all he said was.

"I know"

You look at him in surprise and tears still streaming down you're face.

He looks at you in anguish as he stares at your red puffy eyes, the tear tracks on your cheeks and how your whole body is trembling in anger and sadness.

All he wants to do is wrap you up in his arms and never let go, but Sebastian knows before he can do that, he needs to fully explain himself first.

"I know that what I did that night was wrong, I was just so consumed with grief, anger and desperation to save Anne that I never considered your feelings or Ominis'. I know that I hurt the both of you. I promised Ominis that I would never use Dark magic again and I broke that promise and I said some truly hurtful things to you which were not true at all... I was just so focused on saving Anne It seemed that I forgot about everyone else important to me as well and I apologise for that y/n, you are one of the most important people in my life and I took you for granted"

He takes a cautious step forward towards you, giving you the time to step away if you want to.

But you don't.

You stay rooted in the same spot as he lays a hand on your cheek and you can't help but lean into the touch.

He rests his forehead against yours and caresses your face with his hand.

The only sound that can be heard in the undercroft is your whimpers as you're crying begins to die down and Sebastians heavy breathing.

Sebastian lifts his head up to look at you as his eyes scans over your appearance.

He then lets out a small smile before running his hands through your hair.

"Your hair looks different"

You bite you're lip to hide the smile blossoming onto your face and nod your head.

"Y-Yeah I uh started styling it... does It look ok??"

Sudden insecurity starts to fill your head with self doubting thoughts.

Sebastian shakes his head with a smile and leans in closer to you

"No No it looks amazing... your amazing..."

And all of a sudden Sebastian's lips are on yours.

You smile in to the kiss as you wound your arms around his neck and bring yourself up onto the tips of your toes to reach his height.

He wraps his hands around your waist and pulls you in closer, deepening the kiss.

When you separate from the kiss you both smile at each other before he whispers to you

"Can I tell you a secret??"

You laugh before nodding your head as you look up at him into his dark brown eyes.

"I missed you... in the months that we have not spoken it has been utter hell and I do not intend to go through it again, so I swear never to do what I done to you before ever again, no more lying, no more hurtful words, no more pain and sorrow. Because as long as I'm here I will make sure nothing and no one is ever going to hurt you again, even if it is me"

Another tear rolls rolls down your cheek at his words and you can't help but whisper

"Do you Promise??"

Sebastian nods his head with a meaningful look adorning his face before he wipes away the tear on your cheek and whispers back.

"I promise"

This was my first ever fan-fiction so I hoped you enjoy!!

Especially @froggoslegs who was so kind as to request this story and help me gain a bit of inspiration. I hope I get many more request because this was a lot of fun to write!! I will write anything for Sebastian Sallow and Ominis Gaunt. I'm not the best at writing smut but I don't mind giving it a go!! I'll write whatever you request so don't be afraid to ask!! :)

#sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow hogwarts legacy #angst #happy ending

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farfromstrange · 1 year

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hi can i request for angst w no comfort, matt murdock fic wherein the reader died i like angst 🥲, specially your work "angel on the roof" thank you !!!

Thank you so much for your request, lovely! I was so excited (that sounds horrible in this context) when I saw it and I was even more excited when I read what you requested (Yeah, it still sounds horrible). Angst is my forte, and I've really been in an angsty mood lately. So, I wrote this in two hours and I cried while writing it. I hope you like it! (And I also hope you're doing okay, sweetheart.) This is not about suicide like the other hurt/no comfort fic, but it still hurts the same. I hope I could live up to your expectations!

Back To December | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: He fell for you hard and fast, but all good things eventually slip through Matt Murdock's fingers, and he is left alone all over again.

Warnings: ANGST, hurt/no comfort, Character death, mentions of blood, there's a really creepy guy at the beginning (but no sexual assault!), yeah this is just angsty as fuck

Word Count: 3.2k (I got carried away)

It’s a cold December afternoon. The remains of this week’s snowfall are covering the ground and it’s cold, so cold, but he can barely feel it. Something else, something colder, something far more painful is creeping up his spine. It’s not because his clothes are soaked or the snowflakes that have latched onto his hair. He feels as if the floor has been ripped out under his feet, and it has been a long time since he last felt this way. Loneliness has become his closest companion over time and he got used to always losing and hardly ever winning. Over time, he got used to grieving, he got used to being left, and he got used to a painful hollowness in his chest that eventually started to occur more often. The hole in his chest has always been there, but merely a few days ago it had been somewhat filled.

Matt Murdock has never experienced much happiness in his life. He tried to fight the demons in his head, but eventually, he succumbed to them. He succumbed to the claws that tore at his chest and dragged him down into an endless abyss. He used to associate the color gray with his life because when he thought about it, there has never been much color. He got used to existing rather than living until someone stepped into his life that was anything but dreary.

It was in summer, he remembers, the third of July when he was walking the streets of Hell’s Kitchen on his way home from work. The noise of the city moved into the back of his mind as he tried to focus on anything but the deafening sound of injustice and everyday life. They often blurred together and mixed when he wasn’t focusing, and sometimes that was worse than when he purposely focused on his surroundings.

He was just casually walking when he heard the distinctive fast sound of footsteps straight ahead. He tilted his head curiously, not sure if it was just another teenager playing tag with their friends in the middle of the night or someone walking fast, or perhaps someone who needed his help. It was then he stretched his senses out to judge the situation, but by the time he focused on the erratic heartbeat coming his way, the person who it belonged to already stood in front of him.

It was the third of July, he knows, when you came into his life.

You were just walking home from work when a man emerged from behind one of the cars parked along the street of the shop you were working at. You had closed early, which was rare but not impossible, especially not with the heat so heavy that no one wanted to set foot outside. Even with air conditioning, you felt like dying every time you went to work.

You tried not to think too much about the stranger, your keys already clutched tightly in your hand, but when you sped up, the man sped up too. It was then your fight-or-flight response kicked in. You were a terrible fighter and would have broken your thumb before you could have caused any serious damage, so instead, you ran. You ran until the streets got lighter and finally, God finally, someone else walked the street you were on.

Not paying much mind to who the stranger was, you stopped right in front of him. Your hand caught his sleeve - you felt guilty because well, if the glasses hadn’t been an indicator, his cane surely was, and using a blind guy to get out of being mugged or God forbid, possibly even raped, felt wrong but he seemed like the kind of guy that wouldn’t mind helping. It was something about him that made you feel safe, almost.

“I need you to pretend we know each other,” you said entirely out of breath, one of your sweaty strands of hair caught on your dry lips.

He frowned, tilting his head in the direction of the other man’s steps and he realized just what you were running from.

“Please,” you begged, and he could only imagine the panic in your eyes.

He licked his lips. “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know, just- oh, for fuck’s sake! Kiss me.”

“Sorry, what?” Matt stammered. He thought of many things, one of them being completely screwing his disguise and beating whoever was following you into a puddle until he couldn’t walk anymore, but your request was… odd and a complete surprise, at that.

The more he thought about it though, it made sense. The man would only ease up if he saw Matt as your boyfriend and not a strange blind guy.

You looked at him expectantly and the closer the man behind you came, the faster your heart beat. If he wasn’t willing to help you, you would have to run again.

Fortunately, he caught himself fast enough to pull you in by the waist - his strength surprised you - and pressed his lips to yours. That he would do it, you never expected. It had been a weird request, of course, but the only thing you thought of that would make a possible rapist turn the other way.

You caught yourself on his arms, leaning into the kiss as if it were real, and partly it felt like it. He was an amazing kisser, you noticed, and if this had been a date you would have thoroughly enjoyed it, but the only thought in your mind was getting rid of the man that was following you. Or had been following you, anyway, because upon seeing the kiss that looked more realistic than it was, he stopped and turned back around.

When the stranger pulled away, you forgot how to breathe for a second. Your cheeks flushed, the blood rushing to your head immediately, and you pressed a hand in front of your mouth. Matt thought it was cute, although he had to contain himself from hunting down the man that even led you to make such a rash decision in the first place. Perhaps it was the fact that he was blind that made you believe he was on the good side, and the kiss seemed to have saved your ass, which he was glad about because fighting someone right in front of the eyes of an unknown stranger was not on his to-do list. The kiss hadn’t been either, but it had already happened and the awkward silence made matters worse.

Your breath hitched in your throat again. “I’m so sorry,” you said, muffled through your hand.

“Um,” Matt forgot how to speak.

“I just wasn’t sure what to do and you know, most men don’t take no for an answer and I thought- God, I am so sorry. You probably think I’m a psycho now.”

He quickly caught himself again. “Oh, no. No, I absolutely don’t think that,” he said. “I was just… surprised?”

“Okay, I’m sorry, I promise I’m not usually like this.”

“You were scared, I understand.”

“I really didn’t know what else to do.”

It was the truth, and the more he spoke to you, the more he realized your heartrate was going down. You were safe.

“Okay,” you bit your lip, “Okay, I should probably go. Nice meeting you. I’m just gonna-” as you distanced yourself, you pointed behind yourself in the direction you were originally headed, “Yeah, I’m just gonna go.”

“Wait,” Matt heard himself object to your attempt to leave.

You halted, surprised he would even want to talk to you after what happened. A small smile rested on his lips. The same lips you had just kissed.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

The first time he heard your name was on July third, the night dark and hot, and it was the same night you kissed him for the first time. It was a kiss out of desperation, a way to save yourself from the grabby hands of a stranger, and yet, when he asked for your name, he received an answer.

“I’m Matt,” he introduced himself.

July third was the day you came into his life and from then on, you refused to leave. His senses got used to your scent, your taste, and the feel of your skin under his fingers when he had first kissed you. His ears got used to the sound of your voice, and the feeling of your name on his tongue became natural.

One meeting turned into two and eventually, only a month after, in fact, he realized he had done the one thing he never expected himself to do ever again: he fell for you. He fell fast and hard, the first tint of color in his dull life, and the pain in his chest got a little more bearable with you by his side. You became the light in the darkness, the one person he could always turn to, and when you found out who he was - who the man behind the black mask was, you didn’t run.

You found out one night when you used your key to get into his apartment. He hadn’t answered any of your calls and he felt guilty, but then you stood in his apartment just as he walked through the door. He had a huge gash on his side and he was sure he wouldn’t make it to the couch in time. When he heard your heartbeat and the way it jumped when you saw him, he was sure death would be kinder than having to listen to you leaving, but the anticipated moment of rejection never came.

The light of his life stayed. You had dropped everything to hold him up. You patched him up and you held him as he writhed in pain, and when he was finally patched up and safe, he caught your wrist.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked him.

He hissed, not sure if it was because of emotional or physical pain, but perhaps both. You sounded small, worried almost, but the sound of your heartbeat was the most familiar to him and so he knew that you weren’t scared, you were merely curious.

And that was when he knew that he had fallen head over heels in love with you.

“I wanted to protect you,” he said.

The thought of losing you had been his greatest fear. You were the color he desperately needed, the reason for him to keep going. He thought that, with your help, he could make it. He thought his life could finally be normal.

But even the most beautiful of flowers die eventually. It’s a slow death, usually, a constant process of withering. With you though, it was fast and it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. You weren’t a flower, you were human and he realized that too late one night.

On July third, he swore to protect you, always. He swore to save you, to hold you and take care of you until his dying breath. On the third of December though, his worst fear became reality, and suddenly, the tint of color in his life was flickering like the billboard outside of his apartment that you had often complimented. The tint of color in his life, the beautiful flower, the light that kept him going, stood right in front of him and he barely had the time to open his mouth when the shot rang out.

Why did you have to follow him, anyway? You were foolish but you had been so worried, you stormed out of your apartment, determined to find him. The rooftop you finally found him on was dark just like his life had been before you.

You were so relieved to see him alive, you didn’t notice the dark shadow on the floor or the clinging of metal that filled the air. “Matt!” you called out, but his mouth opened and instead of words, you could hear the faint blow of a gun.

The shot rang out and for a moment you thought it hit him. For a moment, you were worried, and then the sharp pain tore through your abdomen and you knew, the shot wasn’t meant for him.

His arms caught you as you fell. Matt wasn’t sure what was worse, the feeling of your blood running through his fingers as he pushed on the gaping wound on your abdomen or the erratic sound of your fading heartbeat as it tried its best to beat for you, to supply your body with blood, but it couldn’t pump so fast as to catch up with the speed you were losing it again.

“Matt-” you smiled when you saw his face. “You’re safe,” you said. “I thought you weren’t safe.”

“Shh, sweetheart,” he told you, and he tried hard not to sob - your heart had become his favorite song, a symphony that was unique in itself, but now it was running out like a broken record. The sand in the hourglass ran faster than he could catch you.

You choked. The missing fear in your voice told him that you knew. Oh, you knew you weren’t going to make it.

“You foolish, foolish- Jesus,” he bent over you, his hand still tightly pressed against your abdomen, but the sharp pain you had felt was gone. You just felt numb now. “I told you to stay home,” he said. His voice cracked at the end because now even he knew, deep down, that you weren’t going to make it out of this.

And he had just found you. It didn’t seem fair.

You sucked in a sharp breath. “I was just-” you coughed again, and he could taste the copper in the air from where it ran down the corner of your mouth. “I was worried,” you breathed.

He shushed you again. “It’s okay,” the first tear descended his cheek and met with yours, “You’re gonna be fine. We’re gonna get you out of here and fixed up, okay? Hey-” Your eyes drooped, but he held your face with such force, you felt compelled to open them again, but you were tired. Oh, you were so tired.

It was your time to tell him, “It’s okay.”

Your body was wracked with a terrible wave of shivers and even though he was holding you tightly to his chest, his body was just cold air to you. Everything was cold.

“No, don’t close your eyes! You have to stay with me, sweetie, okay? Just a little longer.”

“I can’t.” And he knew you couldn’t.

“You don’t get to do that, not yet. It’s not time yet. We have so much-” he grunted in the back of his throat. “Remember you told me about the pyramids in Egypt? You wanted to go there,” he said, and at this point, he was crying more than he was smiling. “So you have to stay awake, okay? Stay awake for me, baby.”

You reached out your weak hand, touching his cheek. There was blood on your fingers and it smeared on his cheekbone. Your touch was cold. You used to be so warm and now you were simply cold, and your heartbeat turned into tiny beats after another.

“We both know I’m not gonna make it,” you said with all the strength you had left.

“No,” he was determined, “Don’t say that. You’re gonna be fine.”

“Matthew-” the call of his full name was almost unfamiliar. “Matthew, listen. Listen to my heart.”

“I am, baby, and it is still beating, that means there is still time. I can save you. I can-”

“No, you don’t understand,” you said. Your hand moved from his cheek to the left side of his chest. “I’m always going to be here.”

“Stop,” he sobbed. “God, don’t do this to me. You can’t do this. You have to hold on.”

“It’s time,” you said.

“No, baby, please-”

“It’s time for me to go, Matthew.”

“No.”

Your hand dropped, your muscles too weak to hold your body up anymore. Thud, thud, thud. He focused on your heartbeat, but he soon realized that it wasn’t yours, it was his. His own heartbeat was louder than yours, but it had the same beat, it played to the same rhythm as yours. Your bodies aligned, but the blood, oh the blood. Your scent was overshadowed by the smell and the taste of pure blood and it made him sick.

“I-” you choked again, but the sentence you wanted to say needed to be said, no matter how strong those claws were that were just waiting to pull you underwater. “I love you,” your voice broke like fragile glass upon impact, “and I always will.”

His forehead fell against yours. You were so cold. Matt held you, he held you to keep you warm, but you were getting colder by the minute and your blood seeped through his fingers, through his shirt, and that was when he realized.

“No,” he desperately felt for your heart, but the familiar melody was gone. He couldn’t feel you, he couldn’t touch you, he couldn’t smell you. He could only hold your limp body as the life left your body and your soul with you.

On December third, you died in his arms. On December third, he had to deliver your body to the hospital, but you were long gone when they found you. He knew you were gone, but he had held you for a while longer, trying to find the life inside of you, trying to keep his hope alive, but on December third, you died, and with you, all the color in his life faded into the darkest of blacks.

Matt Murdock remembers the day he met you and he remembers the day you died. As he is standing over your grave now, the snow feels numb on his soaked clothes. What is creeping up his spine is worse than the cold of December. The pain of losing you is colder than snow, it’s colder than anything he has ever felt before. The cold has crept into his heart and frozen whatever life had been left inside of him. You died and he couldn’t save you. He had to bury you because he just couldn’t save you.

You were the light of his life and Matt lost that, too, like he has lost everything in his life. It's then he truly starts to believe that everything he touches is supposed to rot and die. Everything he has ever touched, no matter how beautiful, has turned ugly, dark, and gray, and then eventually, dead. Cold, dark, and dead.

You were an explosion of wonderful colors but now you were gray, just like his life. A gray stone on the cemetery behind Clinton Church, your body cold, your blood branded into his skin and he cries. He stands at your grave and cries because you’re still in his head, you’re still in his heart, and it kills him that a memory is all he has left of you. He longs to touch you, to kiss you, to hold you like he had many times before, but you’re gone.

His sweater smells of your perfume, his sheets smell of your bodywash and your essence still lingers in the air of his apartment, no matter how many times he opens a window, and then there is your name that suddenly everyone seems to have. He searches for you when it rings out, but you’re not there.

On December third, you died, and with your memory lingering everywhere, he would go back to December all the time. And it breaks him to know you’re not there.

#tw: death #matt murdock x reader #daredevil x reader #matt murdock x gender neutral reader #matt murdock #daredevil #matt murdock fic #daredevil fic #hurt/no comfort #matt murdock angst #this is pure pain #request <3

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