#but it's really like... “if you say there isn't then it must be that there isn't” but that's so awkward

[cripplecharacters]

Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?

[large text: Does Your Scarred Character Have to Hate Themself?]

(TLDR: no. literally no.)

A frequent topic that shows up around facial differences is the self-hatred, self-disgust, self-insert-negative-emotion that we must surely experience. I want to ask* writers without FDs - why? Why do you feel about us in such a way that that's the most common way of depicting us?

*- rhetorical question. I promise I know the answers, but I'm not sure if writers do.

It's frankly worrying to me. Is it really that common to assume that disabled people have this internal, never-ending hatred for themselves? The overwhelming majority of us don't. We hate inaccessibility, when people stare, or some symptoms when they get in the way, or how expensive being disabled is, but I find the concept of us being so completely disturbed by our own disabilities extremely strange. It’s “tragedy porn” intersecting “most basic ableism”.

“But trauma!”

[large text: “But trauma!”]

Trauma of what! People with facial differences don't have some sort of default trauma that we come with like it’s a factory setting. We are a group of people with tens of thousands of stories and experiences!

“Trauma of experiencing ableism/disfiguremisia” - that's better, at least this means something. If you're writing a story about this, please get a sensitivity reader with a facial difference. You can assume how we feel all you want, but in my experience these assumptions are often bizarre and unrealistic. Or just end up writing the same “disability so sad” sob story that everyone has seen a billion times. If you want to write about disfiguremisia, you need to understand the nuance and have more than just the basic level knowledge (which 99% of people don’t have either). If you can’t do that, don’t write about it. Simple as that.

“Trauma of the accident” - thankfully, the accident is an event and a facial difference is a disability. If you want to connect these two like they're one and the same, you're almost surely going to demonize disability. People with traumatic spinal cord injuries, acquired amputees, people with TBI, people with acquired facial differences - we participate in our communities, we have hobbies, we date, we play with our dogs. Disability isn't a death sentence. Media who make it feel like it is certainly don't help people who do suddenly become disabled, don't you think?

Here's a post by @blindbeta about blind characters becoming blind through trauma that’s better made than anything I could hope to write here. I heavily recommend giving it a read.

And, I can't stress this enough - most of us didn't have “the accident”, most of us are born like this! "Traumatic scars" isn't the only facial difference that exists, far from it, it's only one of thousands. It's 99% of our representation and "representation". If you want to make a character with FD - please consider that we aren't a monolith. Just like not all physical disabilities are "wheelchair user with paralysis", not all facial differences are "traumatic scar with somehow no nerve damage".

The overrepresentation of it is incredibly telling, and sometimes - or very frequently - feels like the writer doesn’t actually even want to deal with us. They want to use our disability as a way to cheap drama, moral metaphors, tragic backstories. Not to represent us as living people who are much more similar to you than you apparently think.

Now, I do have enough awareness to know that that's a big part of the appeal. “Horrific Thing #2456 happens” and boom, instant drama! Of course, it's a reasonable response that they would hide their disability for years, avoid talking about it in any way, and magically change their personality to be mean and reclusive, or at least be constantly soooo sad about how much it sucks to be disabled, right?

Do I really need to say that having your character becoming disabled be the worst thing ever is ableism 101? We have been talking about this for so long at this point. Writing about the process of adapting to a specific disability is better left to people who have actual experience in it.

To give an example that will hopefully resonate more with Tumblr users, I will use the fact that I'm also gay. It's not perfect by any means but probably much more familiar territory.

Imagine, let's say, a character. He's gay. The story he's in is supposedly progressive, certainly not trying to be homophobic. The character has experienced an incident, maybe an act of aggression or a hate crime, that happened because he’s gay, which was traumatic. Happens IRL, sure. So of course the character starts hating being gay. He talks about how gross and disgusting it is, he never lets anyone know that he could be “one of them”, certainly not take a stance against homophobia. You can't mention him without mentioning the accident, they're seemingly fused together. No gay love, joy, even basic happiness, he would actually choose to be straight in a heartbeat if given the option to and complains that he can't. This is shown as a neutral, obvious thing that a gay man would do, no one comments on it. He stays like this the whole time, unless there’s a plot twist in the last 10 pages where the world is now magically perfect ("we fixed discrimination, yay!"). This is the only LGBT character in the story.

Keep in mind that there are people similar to this in real life, living with extreme internalized homophobia.

Is this, in your opinion, realistic and thoughtful representation? How does it feel when written by a cishet writer, versus a gay writer who is recalling his experiences? Do you think that it's reasonable for the majority of media representation to be like this, or very close to it? How would it affect younger gay people who might already be uncomfortable with being queer? Are gay men the target audience, or are they not even considered as a group of people who read books? Is this helping or damaging the general public's idea of how it is to be gay? Why or why not?

The Masterpiece

[large text: The Masterpiece]

From 13 to 19 of May, we are celebrating Face Equality week (what a coincidence!). It’s important to me in general - and I wish it was more important to abled people, but I digress - especially its theme for this year.

“My Face is a Masterpiece”

Great statement, it represents the community well, I do enjoy how bold it is. Very cool stuff, I love the work our advocates are doing!

But why do I bring this up?

Well, to very non-subtly show that we aren’t a self-hating group of people. We are a community, a community saying “our faces are beautiful, look!”, we are saying “treat us equally, and do it now!”. Our activism isn’t about self-disgust. It’s about fighting your-disgust. 

Why can’t writers keep up? Why are you still stuck decades behind?

Is this the only reason I bring it up?

The Call to Celebration

[large text: The Call to Celebration]

FEI, the org behind organizing it, asks a very simple question (emphasis mine):

“Why do we so often see stories about facial difference as a ‘tragedy’, when they should be about triumph?” “Calling all artists, allies, creatives, galleries.  You can rewrite the story to bring about #FaceEquality and celebrate the unique artistry found in every face. Your participation this #FaceEqualityWeek will help to tell the real story, that there is a masterpiece in every face.”

Here. We are calling for you to stop. Directly from the biggest international advocacy alliance group that's out there. If you create, this is for you.

The last argument to not have your character with a facial difference hate themselves? Because we don’t want this. We are tired and frustrated. For me personally, I’m also offended by this kind of assumption. We aren’t tragedies or cheap entertainment for abled people to pity or be horrified by. We are people, and if you can’t internalize that, you have no reason to write about us.

For once, celebrate us. Happy Face Equality Week!

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #face difference #ableism #disfiguremisia #face equality week #my face is a masterpiece #writing guide #writing help #writeblr #writing resources #writing advice #writing tips #writing characters #how to write #writing disabled characters #writing disability

[lambtotheslaughterr]

Tongue Tied

A Rafe Cameron Oneshot

[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]

WC: 6.4k

Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics

OONA'S MASTERLIST

request for anon

requests are currently CLOSED

Summary: Reader has been under Rafe Cameron's wing ever since her older brother passed away, & it was Rafe's honor to take over the brotherly role towards her when his best friend died. But reader isn't a little girl anymore & Rafe's overprotectiveness may just be the very thing that drives her away from him...

unless Rafe has anything to say about it.

            The North Carolina summer sun beat down on your skin, but only comfortably so, as you lounged out on the bow of the yacht. It was a yacht party you were attending with some of your closest friends. The yacht was big enough to carry all 30 or so people on board as it remained anchored off the coast of Kildare. You had been out there for a couple hours now, but it was only six p.m. The party was guaranteed to go until at least until eight p.m. For now, you were happy to take a brief break from the drinking & dancing to relax separately from everyone else.

            You were beginning to doze off, the few White Claws you had were starting to make you drowsy. A quick little nap wouldn’t hurt, & would certainly guarantee your ability to continue partying with the rest of them. But as you felt yourself begin to really fall asleep, a shadow was cast over you, blocking out the heat of the sun. You blearily opened your eyes, expecting to see a sudden gathering of clouds above you, but it was none other than your closest friend.

            “Rafe.” You reprimanded but smiled softly up at him, “Can’t you see I’m napping?”

            “Uh, yeah.” He stared down at you incredulously, “When there’s a party happening? Are you crazy?”

            You sighed heavily, shaking your head, “If I don’t get a quick micro nap in I won’t be able to party much longer, period.”

            “C’mon, _____, that’s weak sauce.”

            You giggled, “Weak sauce, Rafe?”

            “You know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes, slapping you gently on the arm with the back of his hand, “Now, c’mon, let’s go, I need a partner for beer pong.”

            “Ugh, can’t you just have Ashley in my place, pleeeease?” You puckered your lower lip. But Rafe waved the suggestion away, “Yeah, no. Ashley can’t shoot for shit. I need my girl.”

            “Fine.” You gave up, “Five minutes then I’ll be there.”

            “Nope.” Rafe gathered your hands in his, “You’ll be there now.”

            “Rafe!” You half laughed half screamed as he lifted you from the lounger you were on & threw you over his shoulder.

            “I got a grand riding on this game, _____, I need your unbeatable hand to eye coordination.”

            “Why must you always bet when there’s a game involved?” You scolded, your ribs digging uncomfortably into his shoulder as he carried you shamelessly through a throng of people. You were grateful to be wearing the swimsuit you chose as it didn’t expose you too much as he paraded you around, your rear on fully display, save for the sarong wrap around your hips.

            “Because I like winning.” Rafe swung you forward, carefully putting you back on your feet. He patted your head, grinning, “And I’m a winner.”

            You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

            Rafe then led you to the upper deck of the yacht where there was just enough space for a beer pong table. There were a few faces you recognized, having grown up with some of them on the island, but most of the face were unfamiliar to you. The two guys you & Rafe were playing against were people you had never seen before.

            “This is your secret weapon?” One of the guys asked unimpressively as he eyed you beside Rafe.

            “Hey, man.” His partner elbowed him as he met your eyes, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

            “You’ll be eating your words by the end of the game.” Rafe responded to the one who had low-key insulted you, “Show em, babe.”

            You loathed when Rafe called you ‘babe’. It made people think you were together when it couldn’t be further from the truth. Rafe was like an older brother to you. He had been best friends with your older brother, Dom, in high school thus he was always around. And because you & your brother were so close you in turn became close to Rafe. But that friendly familial relationship the two of you shared strengthened in the last couple years. Ever since Dom passed away. You remembered Rafe promising you at Dom’s funeral that he knew he could never replace Dom in your heart, but he would always look out for you & be there for you the way Dom was. You adored Rafe, loved him unconditionally, & he never broke his promise. He was your home. Your family.

            So, when he called you ‘babe’ or ‘baby’, especially in front of others, it always made you feel uncomfortable. You knew he didn’t mean anything by it, just a term of endearment, but he had never called you that stuff when Dom was alive. You reasoned with yourself that it was likely because you were older now. There was a four year difference between you & Rafe, so now that you were 20, perhaps he felt it a natural shift to calling you pet names as such. You asked him once to not do that, & for a while he did, but it eventually came back & you just didn’t have the energy to have the same conversation. Just as long as Rafe knew that you thought it was weird & would never return the terms, you were mostly okay with it.

            “Babe?” The one who defended your honor questioned, “You two together?”

            “No.” You replied firmly, eyeing Rafe knowingly. He shrugged, completely unbothered.

            “Huh.” The guy nodded but let it go, “Alright. Let’s see who wins two grand.”

            There was too many people watching you now. The game had gotten intense, & fast. Your two opponents, who learned their names were Kabir & Danny—Danny being the one who defended you to his partner—were tit for tat with yours & Rafe’s skills. Rafe missed a shot, Kabir missed a shot. You made a shot, Danny followed suit. It was always at a tie, but now it was down to a tie with a single cup left on either end of the table. More so, it was your shot. You made this & you won. And Rafe got his two grand, the idiot.

            But with it being the winning shot, & with people having gathered around to watch in anticipation, you felt yourself begin to doubt your ability. Most the cups cleared on the opposite end was your doing, but now you felt the pressure. You didn’t make this shot & Rafe was out a thousand dollars. In the grand scheme of his wealth, 1000 dollars was nothing, but as Rafe had said, he was a winner. And a very sore loser.

            “You got this, babe. You always got it.” He stood behind you, his breath brushing against your cheek as he leaned down to speak to you.

            “I know.” You replied, holding the white plastic ball eye level as you aimed it for the single cup.

            Rafe backed up, pacing behind you. His antsy energy wasn’t going you any favors. You softly inhaled, willing your muscles to relax. It’s just like any other game, you reminded yourself. Aim, shoot, win.

            But just as you exhaled, flinching to make your shot, Danny raised his arms on the opposite end, “Pause.”

            “What?” You faltered, bringing your arm down.

            “New conditions.” He smiled, & damn did he have a good looking smile.

            “No, no way.” Rafe stepped forward, gesturing the cup, “We’re right here, you can’t change the conditions.”

            Danny ignored Rafe, looking solely at you, “I’ll give you the two grand but in return I get to take you on a date.”

            The sudden & unexpected proposal made your heart flutter. You felt yourself pressing your lips together awkwardly.

            You laughed half-heartedly, waiting for him to say ‘sike!’. A way to trick you out of making your shot. But Danny only nodded towards you, “Whaddya say?”

            “She says ‘no.” Rafe answered for you, his tone impatient, “Make the shot, _____. End it.”

            You frowned at his pushing. It was just a game. Danny said he’d give him two grand. Besides, Danny was cute. You weren’t the dating type, always too busy with college, but why wouldn’t now be a good time as any to start?

            “Well, hold on.” You looked at Rafe, to which he made a ‘what the fuck’ face at you. You turned back to Danny, “What if I don’t make the shot?”

            Danny cocked his head, “I’ll give your friend there his hundred grand back, but I still get to take you on a date.”

            You couldn’t hide the smile that appeared on your face. He was being direct, flirtatious, & it was working. You were intrigued.

            “Okay.” You rounded to approach Danny’s end of the table, “Shake on it?”

            Danny moved towards you, his hand outstretched. But before your hands could touch, sealing the deal, the resounding thwack of a ping pong ball hitting the lip of a cup met your ears. Your eyes flashed to the table just in time to see the ping pong ball bounce atop the table before falling off the edge. You spun around, your eyes meeting Rafe’s.

            “We lost. Too bad.” Rafe shrugged.

            Kabir howled with excitement, slapping Danny on the back with a winning spirit, “Two grand man!”

            But Danny didn’t share in his enthusiasm. Danny glared past you towards Rafe. A glare you greatly partook in.

            “What the hell, Rafe?” You questioned. Rafe approached you then, throwing his arm over your shoulder, “What? You can’t change the rules right before the game ends.”

            “You were about to get two grand!” You argued, “Now, you have none.”

            “I’ll live.” He returned, his voice hardening. Then he raised his eyes to Danny who stood behind you, “Good game.”

            With that, Rafe tugged you along behind him as he led you through the upper deck of the yacht. You tossed Danny an apologetic smile to which he returned.

            Once Rafe got you to the lower deck, you tore your arm away from him, glaring at him with the anger of a thousand suns, “What is your problem?”

            Rafe creased his brows, “What are you talking about?”

            “Don’t give me that. You know exactly what I’m talking about. I could have made that shot.”

            “Yeah, well, you were flirting with the enemy.” Rafe replied, looking away.

            “So? If you had let me take the deal you would still have your hundred grand at least.”

            “Not worth it.” He shrugged, eyeing you indifferently.

            You narrowed your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest, “Not worth it?” You repeated, “You can’t do this stuff, Rafe.”

            “Again, don’t know what you’re talking about.”

            You rolled your eyes, shaking your head, “Look, I know you’re just looking out for me, but I’m a grown up now, okay? I can go on dates whenever & with whoever I feel like.”

            Rafe shook his head, still acting as if what you were saying was in another language. But you knew exactly why he threw the game & willingly gave up his money. It wasn’t the first time Rafe had intercepted a potential suitor in your life. You often felt Rafe took his role to look out for you too seriously. The last couple years it really hadn’t bothered you, especially when it came to guys showing interest in you. You weren’t one of those girls that felt it necessary to date just to date. You always prided yourself on your focus in your education, & you knew well enough that juggling a boyfriend or fling with the hours you spent studying wasn’t ideal. But that was before.

            Lately, you had admitted to yourself that something was missing from your life. If you weren’t in class, studying late in bed, or stressing about exams, you were hanging out with Rafe at one of the many parties he took you to, or with Ashley, who often brought along whatever guy she was dating that month. You thought it was time to begin putting yourself out there. And now that it was summer & the school year finished a couple weeks ago, it was the perfect time. But you wouldn’t be successful in your dating endeavors if Rafe kept going the way he was.

            “Rafe.” You raised your brows knowingly at him, “C’mon, I’m not a kid anymore.”

            “I know that.” He replied sternly, “You can date whoever you want.”

            Knowing it was only bullshit leaving his mouth, you decided to put it to the test, “Great. Then I’m going back up there & telling Danny that the date can still happen.”

            Rafe broke then, rolling his eyes, “That guy is a loser.”

            “Not from my point of view. After all, he did just win that game.” You knew you were treading dangerous waters at that point. Hitting Rafe right in his ego.

            “Oh, nice.” Rafe shook his head.

            “Look,” you started, stepping closer to him. Rafe straightened then, his eyes peering down at you as you nearly closed the gap between the two of you. You touched his wrists with your hands, “I appreciate you looking out for me like I’m your little sister. But I can look out for myself, okay? At least in this regard.”

            “_____...” Rafe sighed, his ocean colored eyes staring into your own, “Don’t. You don’t know anything about him.”

            You nodded in agreement, “That’s what dates are all about. To get to know someone.”

            Rafe moved out from in front of you, his wrists slipping away from your touch. You hung your head. Sometimes it really felt like you were taking care of Rafe, not the other way around.

            “Just don’t go back up there, okay?” Rafe stared at you, “Promise me?”

            You wanted to argue more, ask him why he was so against it, but you were too tired to do so. Exhausted, you ultimately nodded, “Fine. Whatever.”

            Rafe smiled, it was small, but it was the smile of a winner.

            “Alright. I’m gonna go get us some drinks & we’ll go down to the water, yeah?”

            You nodded, but you weren’t as happy as he was quickly becoming.

            “Try finding Ashley, I’m sure she’s sucking face with someone around here.”

            You brought your finger to your forehead before waving it away in acknowledgment.

            Rafe disappeared then. You stood there for a moment longer, stewing in your anger towards him. You knew your anger wouldn’t last long, it never did. Rafe was just taking his role too seriously. He’d get out of it one day.

            Footfalls sounded above you, & you turned around in time to see a familiar face appear at the bottom of the stairs.

            “Thought he’d never leave.” Danny teased, his charming smile appearing.

            “Oh.” You couldn’t suppress your own smile, “Hey. You heard all that?”

            Danny cleared his throat awkwardly, nodding, “Yeah, he, uh, he’s really protective over you.”

            “Yeah.” You rolled your eyes but nodded, “Just like a brother.”

            “But he’s not.” Danny confirmed without question. Again, you nodded.

            “Huh. Weird.” Danny commented, to which you frowned. But Danny didn’t your relationship with Rafe, the history of it.

            “Anyway,” Danny moved forward in conversation, “’bout that date…”

            You sighed, wanting to say yes right then & there. But you shrugged, “I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”

            “Why?” Danny questioned but the smile never left his face, “Because… your not-brother or whatever-he-is says so?”

            “No.” You replied fast. Too fast. “Yes. No. Kind of, it’s hard to explain.”

            “Well, you could explain it tomorrow night. Sunset Grille?”

            Breath left your lungs at the proposal yet again, just as it had the first time he asked. Your cheeks hurt from how hard you were smiling. You enjoyed his determination. Made you feel good.

            “You technically wouldn’t be breaking your promise.” He added.

            You narrowed your eyes playfully, “How’s that?”

            “You only promised you wouldn’t come back upstairs, not that you wouldn’t go on the date.”

            A light laugh sounded from you as you shook your finger at him, “You’re sneaky.”

            “I just go after what I want.” He smirked, holding your eyes with his own.

            Worried that Rafe would return any moment, you finally made up your mind. You were 20 years old! And you’ve never been on a date. Rafe didn’t control your choices, you did. So, you nodded, pulling out your phone, “Let me give you my number.”

            You avoided Rafe like the plague for the next 24 hours. You had never been a good liar, finding the ability to be a good liar a pretty crappy trait to even have, but regardless, you couldn’t lie if your life depended on it. It was easier to do over text, which you took great advantage of when Rafe texted you the next evening, seeing if you wanted to come over & he’d grill up some steaks. You thanked him but told him you made plans to have a girls’ night with Ashley, & no, he wasn’t allowed to come this time.

            Girls’ nights with Ashley was common, & half the time Rafe would join in on them. They varied in what you two did. Some nights you’d stay in & watch reruns of reality television while doing facials, other nights you’d use your fakes to go to the bars on the beach—those were the nights that Rafe insisted on coming. Protective & whatnot. But for tonight, you told him it was going to be a night in. The new season of your current favorite show was airing. That was your lie. And as long as Rafe didn’t question it too hard, you’d be fine.

            Fortunately, Rafe sent you a thumbs up emoji & told you two to have fun. You were relieved. It meant you could get ready for your date in piece. After finishing with your hair & make-up, both of which were skills you knew little about, you fingered through your closet, ultimately deciding on an old dress you wore for your graduation party in high school. As you slipped into the dress, you clocked the time. It was nearly 7. Danny would be here any moment.

            Finishing the final touches of your look & adding a spritz of your favorite perfume, you were ready to go. Just as you were gathering your phone & purse, your phone pinged. It was Danny. He was in the parking lot.

            You frowned at that. Didn’t most guys meet their date at the door? But you brushed the thought away. This wasn’t the movies. He was already driving you to the date & paying for the meal, having told you to leave your wallet at home, he didn’t need to meet you at your door. Turning off the lights in your apartment, you grabbed your keys & left. The second you stepped out, the warm ocean breeze brushed over your skin. You inhaled deeply, savoring the smell of living on the coast.

            You descended the single flight of stairs to the ground floor & approached the parking lot. Parked in a handicap spot was a sleek dark gray Mercedes. For the second time in less than two minutes, you frowned. Danny was not disabled. Perhaps Rafe was right…you thought to yourself but immediately shook the thought away. Okay, so what? He was only there for less than five minutes. It’d be fine.

            Danny waved at you through the windshield. You gave a small one before opening the passenger side door.

            “Hey, gorgeous.” Danny greeted as you slid into the car. You placed your purse in your lap & smiled at him, “Hey…you.”

            Danny laughed at that, “Sorry I didn’t come up. Kadir called me, he’s at the casino.”

            “Oh.” You nodded in understanding, “I get it. Is he losing money?”

            “Oh yeah.” Danny chuckled. You laughed with him.

            “Hey.” He said again, & you looked at him, your smile falling.

            “What?”

            “You look beautiful.”

            “Oh.” You shrugged but you felt incredibly hot all of a sudden, “Thank you.”

            “’Course.”

            Danny pulled out of the parking spot then & before you knew it, you were well on your way to your very first date.

            The drive back to your apartment was dreadful, to say the least. As charming as Danny had been in the beginning, the novelty of it all quickly evaporated. At the restaurant, he ordered one too many beers, his voice growing louder as the date went on, & boy, did he know how to talk. As far as you knew, the only topics of conversation Danny could carry was about Danny, Danny, &, oh, Danny. Your first date ever would forever be remembered as a painfully dull one.

            Fortunately, the restaurant was only a few blocks from your apartment, so the drive would be quick & before you knew it you would be back in the safety of your apartment. Awaaaay from Danny. And you couldn’t wait.

            It was a sight for sore eyes when Danny pulled into the parking lot of you complex, pulling yet again into the same handicapped spot from earlier. You contemplated saying something but bit your tongue. Just get out of the car & get inside.

            “Well, thanks for the date.” You said politely but didn’t look him in the eye. If he asked if you had fun or wanted to go on a second one, your eyes would betray your true thoughts.

            “Let me walk you up.”

            “No.” You responded quickly. Again, too quickly. “I mean, it’s okay. It’s late. I’m tired. So, thank you.”

            “It’s okay, really.” Danny replied, switching the ignition off. The action made you roll your eyes away from him. “I didn’t pick you up from your door so the least I can do is drop you off.”

            God, you wanted to say no. You wanted to say please god noooo so badly. But you forced a grin, “Okay.”

            Danny quickly got out of his side of the car & rounded to your side to hold the door open as you got out. You avoided his eyes as he followed alongside you to the stairs leading up to the second floor.

            “I had a good time tonight.” He started. You felt one of his hands ghost over your lower back. You grumbled internally.

            “That’s good, Danny.” You replied.

            “Did you, too?” It was the question you dreaded most.

            You distracted yourself from the question as you searched out your keys in your purse. Fuck, you should have had them ready before you got out of the car.

            “Mhmm.” You hummed in response, flicking your eyes towards his quickly. “Well, thank you again, Danny. Drive home safely, okay?”

            “Well, hey, wait, hold on.” He chuckled lightly, but you weren’t smiling, let alone enjoying yourself, when you felt his hand on yours. “A kiss goodnight?”

            “Oh, uh, yeah, I don’t, uh, I don’t…do…that.” It was true.

            “Don’t kiss on the first date?” He questioned.

            What you really wanted to respond with was that you don’t date, specifically, but that would only likely keep him standing there longer with more questions.

            “Yup.” You chuckled awkwardly but there was no amusement behind it, “No kissing. So, thanks.”

            You yet again attempted to bring your hand with your keys in it to the door but before you could, you felt your body being spun around & pressed against the wall next to your door. Danny blocked you in with both his arms, that same charming smile that had wooed you in the beginning appearing, although now it only looked disarming.

            “There’s a first for everything.” He whispered, then began to lean in.

            “No, Danny.” You replied but he caught your face with his other hand, holding you still as his face grew closer.

            “Just hold still.” He reprimanded you.

            “No, I said no!” You raised your voice. You were bringing your hands up to his face, preparing to shove him off when suddenly the shadow Danny cast over your frame disappeared. A grunt sounded before you & you peeled your eyes open, not having realized you closed them. You didn’t know what you expected to see, but Rafe holding Danny against the opposite wall by his throat was not on your list.

            “Rafe?” You asked shockingly.

            “She fuckin’ said no, asshole.” Rafe gritted out, shoving Danny harder into the wall.

            Your eyes flicked to your apartment, noting that the door was open but the lights off inside. Was Rafe…? He had to be.

            Though you had just been low-key assaulted, you felt more anger boiling within you. Looking back at the two men, you saw how Danny’s face was beginning to turn purple with how harshly Rafe was choking him.

            “Rafe!” You yelled, approaching him & yanking on his arm, “That’s enough!”

            Rafe glared at you over his shoulder, “He put his fuckin’ hands on you. I should kill him.”

            Danny tried wrestling against Rafe but to no luck as he grew weaker by the second. You stepped back & then done something you had never done before. You struck Rafe. It wasn’t hard, & likely didn’t even hurt him, but enough to get his attention. After smacking him on the back of his head, Rafe snapped his head in your direction.

            “Let him go. Now!” You demanded. Rafe carried a snarl on his face, turning to glare at Danny once more.

            “If I ever see you around here again, anywhere near her, I’ll fucking kill you. That’s a promise.” Then Rafe let him go, but not before shoving him down the stairs. You instinctively reached out to catch him in case he stumbled down them but Rafe was quick to move between you & Danny. Besides, Danny had it handled. He stumbled, sure, but the handrailing helped him.

            “Fuck you, man.” Danny spit, his voice hoarse from Rafe’s assault, “You want her so fucking bad, she’s all yours.”

            Rafe’s hands were in fists at his sides as he watched Danny tripped over to his car.

            “And you’re not handicapped!” You hollered, “Asshole!”

            The last bit was just for good measure.

            Danny flipped you two the bird before climbing into his car. The engine roared to life & then he raced out of the parking lot, rubber marks left at the exit.

            You finally released a breath of air you hadn’t realized you had been holding. It felt good calling Danny that. You smirked pridefully to yourself, but it was short-lived when you felt another’s eyes on you.

            Glancing up, you saw Rafe glaring angrily down at you.

            “Don’t.” Your smile dropped, your anger returning at the reminder of Rafe having been in your apartment.

            You stomped away from Rafe, marching into your apartment. You didn’t bother slamming the door knowing Rafe was right behind you. So, he slammed it.

            “What the fuck were you doing with him?” Rafe asked, his voice shaking with rage as he pointed towards the outside.

            “No!” You raised your voice, slamming your purse down on your kitchen counter. You raised your finger at Rafe & stomped right back to him, “You don’t get to lecture! The only person who gets to be asking questions right now is me!”

            “Fuck that.” Rafe retorted shortly, “You lied to me.”

            “You broke into my fucking apartment!” You screeched, having reached your boiling point. You normally weren’t one to cuss, just never having gotten into the habit, but two entitled assholes in one night was enough to make a priest says the lord’s name in vein.

            “I didn’t break in!” Rafe yelled back, “I have a fucking key, _____.”

            “For emergencies only!” You shoved him away from you, marching back to your kitchen. You needed to calm down. A shot of literally anything would help. But Rafe was hot on your heels as he trailed after you into the kitchen.

            “Oh, & almost getting date raped isn’t an emergency, is that it?” Rafe questioned mockingly.

            You kept your back to him, your hands shaking as you pulled down the closest bottle of liquor you could find. It happened to be Jack Daniel’s. You didn’t even bother searching for a shot glass, you simply uncapped the top & took a swig straight from the teet.

            “Please.” You finally bit back, wiping the access whiskey from your lips, “I was fine.”

            “Bullshit!” Rafe forced you to look at him, his eyes glaring wide-eyed & angry into your won, “As far as you know he could be having you on your back on the living room floor right now.”

            You made a sound of disgust, “Don’t be fucking crude, Rafe.”

            “I save you from that pushy asshole & I’m crude?” Rafe laughed sheepishly but there was no amusement behind it, “God, you fucking women. Don’t know how to say thank you.”

            That’s it, you had it. You moved forward, shoving him against the fridge, snapping.

            “Fine! Thank you, Rafe! Thank you for breaking into my apartment & saving me from rape! Thank you for being a goddamn helicopter parent! THANK YOU for always, always, always looking out for me! It’s not like it’s suffocating or anything!”

            Rafe watched as you came undone, your face contorted to one of fury as you kept yelling at him.

            “You say you’re looking out for me because I’m like a little sister to you but that’s…bullshit.” You finally said, breathing heavily.

            His eyes danced around the features of your face as you finally felt yourself calming down. Your also felt like you were going to be sick. That swig of Jack threatening to come back up now that your adrenaline was dying down.

            “What does that mean?” Rafe finally asked, his voice low, soft. Eerily soft.

            You lowered your eyes, backing away to rest against the counter opposite him.

            “I’m not your little sister, Rafe.” You shook your head, responding calmly, “I know you think I’m your responsibility but I’m not. Maybe for a little while I was but not really. I will be forever appreciative & grateful for how much you love me & want to look out for me but you have to stop suffocating me.”

            Rafe said nothing as you continued. His eyes never leaving your face.

            “I’m a grown woman, Rafe. I can’t depend on you. You can’t depend on me! And don’t deny it, because you do. We’re too…co-dependent. It’s not healthy. Not normal. I love you, I do, you’re my home…but I don’t need you. Not anymore.”

            You sniffled, tears threatening to fall but you pushed them back.

            “I’m sorry…” You stepped forward, wanting to comfort him after saying what you just did but as you did, you finally clocked the expression on Rafe’s face. You stopped moving towards him. His eyes were glazed over, red & watering, as if he too was trying not to cry. But his teeth were pressed against his lower lip in anger. His mouth was shifting every which way as he absorbed everything you had just said.

            It was rare, seeing Rafe like this, you had only seen it one another time. At Dom’s funeral. His heart was breaking, he was angry, wanting to understand, to change things. It was that same expression on his face & look in his eyes.

            “Rafe…” You said his name softly. But at the sound of his name, Rafe’s eyes snapped to yours. And what you saw there made your heart stop.

            Before you could utter another word, Rafe snatched your throat in his hand, practically lifting your feet off the floor as he dragged you down the hallway to your bedroom.

            “Rafe—” Your voice strained against his hold on you, so you beat against his arm, but he looked like a madman on a mission.

            Inside your bedroom, Rafe threw you down on your bed. Air filled in your lungs, & you desperately breathed in all the oxygen you could. But your opportunity was short-lived as you watched in horror as Rafe tore off his shirt before snatching the ankle closest to him & dragging you towards the edge of the bed. Towards him.

            “What are you doing?” You gasped, fear wrapping around you like a snake around it’s prey.

            “You say you don’t need me.” Rafe mumbled, grabbing you by the underside of your chin, “I’m going to show just how badly you actually do.”

            A yelp escaped you when Rafe reached for the top of your dress & in one go, ripped it right down the middle. In less than a second, a dress from a very happy memory was destroyed just before you. The fabric hung loosely & pitifully from your exposed upper half, your breasts on full display. But the shock & suddenness of it all froze you. Rafe then shoved you backwards until your back slammed against your mattress.

            Words failed you as Rafe dropped his pants to the ground before using one hand to slither under the skirt of your dress, yanking on your underwear until they dangled from one ankle.

            This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t happening. You fluttered your eyes closed. It was just a nightmare. A terrible, terrible nightmare. Rafe wouldn’t do this to you, couldn’t. He loved you. He would never hurt you. He promised.

            But then there was another body on top of you & your eyes flashed open. It was Rafe above you. It was Rafe muttering angrily to himself as he situated himself between your legs. It was Rafe who was date raping you.

            You felt a hardness against your center & it snapped you back into your body.

            “Rafe!” You pleaded, your body shaking uncontrollably beneath him, “Please, don’t.”

            Rafe paused to glance down at you. And you saw it there, in his eyes. His inner conflict. He didn’t want to do this, but he was. Rafe looked away then, unable to look you in the eyes as he adjusted his hips directly against yours. When you felt the head of his cock at your entrance, you cried out.

            “Please, Rafe, no.” You shook your head vigorously. You managed to get one of your hands out from under his weight & desperately grabbed for his face, forcing him to look at you. When his reddened & tearful eyes met your own, you shook your head more, “I haven’t... before.”

            It was no secret that you had never had sex before but it wasn’t something you talked openly about. But Rafe knew as such. He knew. So, he wouldn’t hurt you like that… he wouldn’t.

            But as Rafe only continued looking at you with a mix of anger & sadness, you watched helplessly as his eyes ultimately shifted to the latter.

            “I know.” Rafe replied, his voice emotionless, mirroring the lack of expression on his face. Tears cast over your eyes.

            “I’m sorry.” Rafe said with finality. Then he moved his hips forward.

            You whined into his shoulder, your arms hanging onto him for dear life as he forced himself inside of you. He was slow, but it didn’t matter. The pain was too great & you didn’t want this.

            Rafe shuddered above you once he was fully sheathed inside you.

            The two of you released a tense breath of air at the same time. You stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, your inside feeling cramped & stretched all at the same time. Rafe was hung his head next to yours as he caught his breath. You took that brief moment to lick your lips. You had been biting them so hard the skin was beginning to peel. Tears continued to slip down your cheeks, collecting in the curves of your ears.

            Then, Rafe began to move. The movement burn & stung. You stifled your pained moans, hardening yourself to what was happening. You couldn’t be here, not with him, not now, not with what he decided to follow through with. Because if you did…you’d hate him. And you loved Rafe.

            The body above you continued to move, assaulting your body to it’s pleasure. But as it did, your mind wandered.

            Your vision blurred & you were brought back just 24 hours prior.

            The ocean was so bright, so blue. Abundance of laughter could be heard in the distance. The sun was warming your skin & the ocean water kept you cool beneath the surface. You were floating on your back, a smile on your face. There was another person floating on their back beside you. Though your eyes were closed, you reached for their hand in the water. And when you found theirs you realized their hand was already searching for yours too. It was his hand. Your protectors. The one who promised to look out for you.

            Was this your fault? Did you let him coddle you for too long? Get too comfortable in it? Or did you give him a false sense of something else along the way? Did he love you differently? Was he punishing you because you weren’t ready for him? The questions were endless. And none of the potential answers brought you any peace. This was your nightmare, & it was very, very real.

            A sudden influx of movement broke your reverie, & you were transported back to your bedroom. Rafe had stilled above you. He was breathing heavily. You felt your muscles relax. It was finally over. But as you lied there beneath him, with him still inside you, you were startled when you heard soft sobbing.

            Turning your head slightly, you looked to see in your limited vision, at your awkward angle, as Rafe’s body shook above yours. But it wasn’t the aftereffects of coming, or at least you didn’t think so. But when a choked sob erupted from him, you realized he was crying.

            Rafe Cameron, your closest, oldest, safest friend was crying. After raping you, he was sobbing.

            “I’m sorry, _____.” Rafe wrapped his arms around your back as he cried into your neck.

            “But you were wrong. I don’t see you as my little sister.” What he was saying made your heart sink into your stomach.

            He leaned up then to look at you. His eyes were bloodshot, so far gone. You could only stare expressionlessly back.

            “I never did.” There it was. All along. The truth.

            “But you do need me. And I need you.” Rafe stated, “So this doesn’t happen again. So no one hurts you again.”

            It was laughable but you didn’t laugh. Didn’t even manage a light chuck.

            “So I don’t hurt you again.”

            Rafe cupped your face, angling you to look at him. His tears had stopped but his face was still strained from the flood of emotions, “Promise me, _____.”

            But you couldn’t. There was nothing you could say. Rafe sniffled, hugging you closer to his body.

            “I’ll never hurt you again. I promise.” Rafe whispered but it sounded far away.

            You only stared upwards, your tongue completely tied.

this is 2/10 requests from my 500 followers celebration request opening!

it became a lot heavier than i anticipated but i'm still happy w it. i hope anon is as well (anon, pls let me know since i'm unable to message you) lol.

as always, please share your thoughts w me via comments, reblogging w reviews, or dropping an ask. teehee.

thank you for reading!

oona<3

Read this post on why doing more than liking a tumblr writers work is essential to our content creation.

[my love language is words of affirmation, it would make my day if you could comment your thoughts, reblog with tags, or drop an ask that shows your support. thank you for reading tumblr writers, we appreciate you]

taglist: @jsrafesgirl @bunnycvnts @ditzyzombiesblog

to be added to a taglist read rule 11 here. requests will be dismissed otherwise.

#dark!rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark!fic #dark!fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #non con fic #dark!outer banks #tongue tied

[codenamesazanka]

more Deku bashing, if you'll forgive me

Seeing lots of shocked tweets and posts that Deku seems so cold and distant about Shigaraki dying in front of him; that Deku doesn't seem to care much at all; that Deku isn't devastated he wasn't able to save that little boy.

I have to point out that Deku never cared in the first place. He really didn't! It's why he needed to see The Crying Child to feel any bit of empathy for Shigaraki, and why ever since then, he only yammers on about saving the Crying Child and only the little boy. He never gave a shit about the Shigaraki in front of him. Never treated Shigaraki like someone real to engage with. That Shigaraki is unforgivable; and it was impossible to have ever bring the Crying Child into reality because the Crying Child was a memory, it happened 15 years in the past that cannot be changed, so all Deku can do is comfort the Crying Child then beat the shit out of Shigaraki.

I mean, just look at the imagery and the word choices:

Are those the words and expressions of someone who's trying to be careful about not hurting Shigaraki? Actually trying to help someone in pain? I remember when people were excited that Danger Sense would tell Shigaraki that Deku doesn't want to hurt him - turns out nah. He was so ready to make Shigaraki throw up blood.

Deku never tried to talk to Shigaraki. He never asked any questions during the whole time they were fighting. Mirio asked a question and got a response; but Deku? Nothing. Even in the memory-realm, when Shigaraki via memory-villains ask Deku what his plan was, Deku just shouted 'No!' and that was that.

When Deku said 'Somewhere inside of you is a person' he literally meant that. Inside of Shigaraki is the Crying Child, who is the actual person. Did he catch Shigaraki saying 'Spinner will be looking forward to this' and think, 'huh, Shigaraki has someone he cares about, I think? Then he wouldn't want to destroy Spinner, would he?' No. The fan-translation got everyone's hopes up that Deku wants to 'shred the rug' of societal failures, but the official translation was correct - Deku wanted to pry the lid off Shigaraki's trauma, accusing Shigaraki of repressing himself.

If he cared about Shigaraki at all, he would've protested when Gran told him he might have to kill Shigaraki. Instead:

He would've opposed the construction of something called a SKY COFFIN DEATH ARENA. He would've spoken up when Heroes talked strategy about how AFO is the better opponent to fight, implying that it's better if AFO had taken over Shigaraki, despite Shigaraki being the victim of AFO here.

Even when he ends up saving Tenko from Decaying the Shimuras, he's utterly lackluster there. Tenko's in tears, saying that he must have wanted to kill his family, he was born with a quirk like Decay, who could ever validate his existence the way he is??? And Deku's response? "Well. Holding my hand might make you feel better. So here." Saying something like, 'No, you're a child! It's not your fault!' or 'Your quirk isn't meant for harm, it can be useful too' or 'It's okay. You're not an evil existence' seems obvious, but Deku doesn't.

and really, all this has been obvious since the Mall Encounter in Chapter 69. Remember when Shigaraki point blank told him that All Might's smile is stupid because he acts like there's no one he can't save? And it's clearly full of resentment? And Deku picked up on this, which is why next chapter he asks All Might if it's true there are times where All Might couldn't save someone.

But once Tsukauchi said, don't worry about it, Deku did just that. When he does think about it one time, it's this absolutely nothing of a reflection

"I guess we just have to agree to disagree!" Come on. And this kid has a 'drive to save that eclipses all common understanding'??? for real?????

Deku has never given a crap about Shigaraki or Villains. Honestly, him wanting to save that sad little boy might as well be just Horikoshi putting lines in his mouth to move the story along.

If Deku really did care, I think he would've wanted to save the entire person that is Shigaraki. The Crying Child is a phantom - Shigaraki is real and solid and there. The Crying Child is innocent and easy to care about because it's a cute baby and it's openly weepy; saving hand-monster junji ito twink Shigaraki who laughs and talks about destroying everything Deku loves would've been an actual challenge. But clearly we couldn't have that because even the Crying Child was too far gone for Deku to save.

#character bashing #warning #nalslastworkingbraincell #again #i'll take it all back if next chapter proves me all wrong #sorry

[codacheetah]

Hey, so, the dagger conversation, right?

You know the one. You loop with tears 20+ times, Loop goes "haha tears so annoying right!" and then you pester Loop about being able to kill yourself with your dagger until. They get possessed.

Yeah, so, uh. Loop getting possessed. Why is that? What takes hold of them in this moment, and why is it now that Loop defying Siffrin is met with such severe pushback?

I think Siffrin accidentally bound Loop with a wish, in which they were forced to give Siffrin "permission" to use the dagger in order to fulfill the wish's conditions. (Explanation under cut.)

So. Wishes. What do we know about them? Well, we know that Wish Craft requires a combination of ritual and intent to perform. You must have a strong desire, and for this desire to reach the Universe, you have to perform some kind of action that opens the line of communication. We... don't know, fully, what rituals exist, but we do know that a significant part of Wish Craft rituals is repetition of certain numbers, one of which being three.

Now let's consider the dagger conversation. Loop asks Siffrin if they're annoyed yet, having to find a Tear every time they want to loop, before saying there's no faster way. You then have the option of agreeing, or mentioning your dagger. If you keep pushing, Loop gets angry and tells Siffrin that they don't want him to use the dagger. Something important to note about the following text choices is that, up until the third time you insist on using your dagger, you have the option to back out.

And then the third time. Loop gets angry at Siffrin for pushing the issue, and Siffrin replies "And who are you to tell me what to do?!" Loop tries to say something, before...

Loop gets possessed. Siffrin repeats his intent to do something (in this case, use his dagger to kill himself) three times, and Loop, on the third instance, suddenly loses the ability to defy Siffrin on the matter.

Recall the "SAY ITS NAME" sequence with the King. Siffrin and the King attempt to say the Island's name, violating whatever wish has its hold on the Island, and suffer physical injuries (to the point of death!) for doing this. Loop tries to rebuke Siffrin, and they experience sudden pain. And then... they loop. We know, because of the twohats fight, that Loop has the capability to loop independently of Siffrin. I believe that's what happened here, as well. They then are possessed, giving Siffrin "permission" to use the dagger, before looping once more.

It's just. I really don't know how to explain what happened to Loop without attributing it to Wish Craft.

Universe stuff indeed.

There is, of course, the question of "hey if Wish Craft can just Do That then isn't it likely that you could just force people to do whatever you want?!"

Well. I don't think that's likely. Remember Loop's role. They're here to help Siffrin. It's part of their own wish. And what constitutes helping Siffrin? Guiding them to keys, pointing out dead ends, giving you tutorials.

We know that combined wishes can have incredible levels of power. See: the timeloops.

It of course goes without saying that I sincerely doubt Siffrin would ever purposefully force Loop into this position, even at their worst. It's just not something he would do. We know Siffrin uses Wish Craft somewhat liberally and unconsciously, even within the loops, making a wish for strength/power/speed at the Change God statue, sharpening the KeyKnife. However, Wish Craft is... deeply caked in the general concept of "unintended consequences." I wouldn't put "violently taking over your mind and body" above the Universe.

TLDR; Siffrin holds the desire of "let me use my dagger" and accidentally Crafts it into a wish through the use of ritual (repetition 3 times). Loop is subject to "help" Siffrin, and through defying this role, they violate the conditions of Siffrin's wish. In response to Loop looping back to avoid physical injury/death, the Universe commands Loop's vessel to force the wish's conditions to be fulfilled in the most "direct" way possible.

#isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat theory #cw suicide #...just in case i know some ppl dont like reading abt the dagger #i've been. ill abt the dagger convo. for months now #ive held this theory for the past few months but never got around to making a post on it. on account of the nervousness #(and laziness) #surely not the first person to have this theory but i wanted to be the guy to post it. #i need other people to have my worms over this event. i feel like people #brush over how fucking insane the dagger acquisition itself is. #like. HELLO? LOOP GOT FUCKING POSSESSED??? #HELLO?????? #three is an incredibly important number in isat. even the damn ellipses and exclamation points are consistently always in threes #i don't think it's a coincidence that siffrin has to ask three times. that's my shitty tldr

[splonk-fox]

The flaws of Jax and Ragatha, and why they matter to Pomni's character arc.

Within the two episodes of The Amazing Digital Circus that have been released so far as of writing this post, there have been two characters who have been given the most attention and depth out of any of the cast (ignoring Pomni obviously), and those two characters are Ragatha and Jax.

The duo consisting of the kindhearted optimist and the meanspirited pessimist have without a doubt become some of the most interesting characters to analyze within this series so far thanks to how much meaningful screentime and character depth they have been given within the the two episodes that we viewers have been fortunate enough to witness with our very eyes.

But why is this? Why is it that these two have received special attention from the writers so far, and what role do they play in Pomni's character journey? Well I believe I may have found the answer, and it's unfortunately one that does not spell a good future for these characters. But to truly understand where I am coming from, we must first understand who these two characters are and how they relate to our main protagonist.

To start off with the kindest of the duo, we have already learned quite a lot about Ragatha thanks to the two episodes she has been featured in so far.

Her most prominent character trait is without a doubt her kindness. She is the first person to really be genuinely nice to Pomni upon her entrance to the circus and spends the rest of the episode showing her around the place and trying her best to help her get settled in.

She's also someone who doesn't like to be overly blunt with her responses, such is shown when Pomni asks how they leave the circus, to which Ragatha, instead of just saying that she couldn't, phrases it in a way that makes it sound as if they simply haven't found a way to leave yet, this was obviously done in an attempt to not freak Pomni out too much, though this doesn't really go anywhere thanks to Jax.

Now that's great and all, Ragatha's a nice person, you can easily observe that through casual watches of the show, looking deeper however, you can see that there is a lot more going on with Ragatha than she would like to make you believe.

Insecurity is another trait that Ragatha has that, while not shown off as prominently as her optimism, is still very important to Ragatha's character.

As we see in episode 2 of the series, one of Ragatha's biggest fears is not being liked. She vents to Kinger about how she feels like Pomni doesn't really like her that much, and that clearly scares her. And why wouldn't it? The end of episode 2 makes it clear that one of the most important things in this show when it comes to keeping the main cast mentally stable, is their sense of community.

They're all in this together, they have each other's backs and will do their best to be there for each other when it's needed. That is what is communicated to us within the second episode through Kaufmo's funeral.

This segment of the episode, while somber in its tone, is also one that instills hope within Pomni and the viewer. Because it shows that despite everything, the circus members do care about each other. That abstraction is something that affects everyone and it isn't something that is just brushed off immediately, which if you recall, was the crux of Pomni's fears as seen at the beginning of the second episode, the fear of being forgotten, the fear of no one caring.

"I don't even remember her name honestly" - Dream Jax.

So with how the importance of community has been firmly established within this show's messaging at this point, it should be no surprise that Ragatha's biggest fear is not having that community. Of people not liking you, of people hating you. So how does Ragatha solve this?

Repression, that's how. Of all of Ragatha's personality traits her tendency to not display her true feelings towards things are without a doubt the most damaging.

The best example of this is how she reacts to Pomni abandoning her for the exit. The pilot would lead you to believe that she was mad at Pomni for doing this, that she didn't trust her anymore because of this selfish act.

And yet, that's all brushed to the side in the following episode. Ragatha is back to her optimistic self and is saying that everything is fine! That it was completely understandable and that there was no bad blood between them. Yet you can tell that isn't the whole truth, that Ragatha really didn't get over what Pomni had done to her that easily.

Now do I think Ragatha hates Pomni or secretly resents her? No, not really. I do think she's being honest when she says that she doesn't hold anything against her for doing this. But that doesn't mean she wasn't hurt by it. We can see clear as day from the pilot that this did affect her, so why does she act like she doesn't?

Because, from her perspective, her feelings do not matter. The only thing that does is to make sure Pomni is able to adjust, to make sure that everyone is happy, that everyone is still somewhat sane within the circus, and so she compromises her emotions in order to do this. Gooseworx has even said it herself that Ragatha often says things she doesn't necessarily mean in order to ease tensions. She doesn't want to cause conflict, she doesn't want people to fight with each other because she understands how important community is to the members of the circus persisting.

Yet in the midst of all of this, what Ragatha fails to realize is that with how she currently handles things, she is paving the way for her own mental break.

Ragatha, in her attempts to be there for others, has walled herself off from others being there for her. By lying about how she really feels about things, by acting as if she is fine, she is not allowing herself the emotional vulnerability necessary for others to be there for her when she needs it.

The closest thing we have had to this so far is with Kinger, and while having someone she feels comfortable enough to lament her feelings around is a good thing, this is one person, one person who is... not exactly mentally stable, to put it lightly. Is not exactly an end all be all solution to her problems.

Kinger being the only person who Ragatha can rely on is only gonna work for a limited amount of time, the more she represses, the more she hides her true emotions and clear mental instability, the closer she is to meeting a cruel fate, one that no one would be able to save her from because no one even realized there was something wrong with her. For in her pursuit to make everyone else happy, she has sacrificed her own happiness, as a result.

And then there's Jax.

Jax, in a lot of ways, is pretty much the polar opposite of Ragatha. While her leading trait is kindness, Jax's leading trait is being a complete and utter asshole. And while Ragatha is all about answering things in a roundabout way to ease stress, Jax is all about the blunt answers.

This is best shown to us in the pilot when, in the same scene where Ragatha tries to answer Pomni's question of "how do I leave?" in a way that wouldn't stress her out too heavily, Jax goes straight in with the "you can't". Jax is a pessimist, he has accepted that there is no way out, and is simply riding things as they go by.

Jax's leading character trait is all about causing as much chaos as he can for the sake of his own satisfaction. He doesn't care about how others feel, the only thing he cares about is causing as much chaos as possible simply because he can.

Yet that isn't all that's going on with Jax, there's something deeper here, something more complex.

When it comes to the scenes everyone points to when saying that Jax has a lot more going on with him than meets the eye, the scene where he reacts to Kaufmo's funeral is the one everyone looks at with an analytical lens, and that's for a good reason.

For I think this little scene might just tell us a lot more about Jax than we think.

One thing that I've come to notice about Jax's brand of chaos is that it's very reliant on others' reactions. All of the chaos he causes, all of the absurd and awful things he does are for the sake of seeing how others react. From throwing Pomni over the side of a truck and attempting to use her as a human bridge, or literally everything that he does to Gangle, it's all reaction-based, and that made me realize that, despite how selfish and uncaring he acts towards everyone else, community is still the one thing that truly matters most.

He needs the others so that they can react to his hijinx, as they are what give said actions meaning. If he had no crowd to watch as he acts like a shitty person, then he has no reason to do anything. But that is also where Jax's true character flaw comes in, his selfishness.

With how Jax is constantly pushing others around for the sake of his own amusement, Jax is very clearly a self-centered person. He is someone who is in it for himself and no one else. Who cares if others don't like him? Who cares if others despise him? As long as he gets to see funny things happen to people, he is gonna be okay.

But what happens when that method is no longer effective? What happens when the others don't give him the reaction he wants? What happens when he can no longer use chaos as a way to distract from the pointlessness of his reality?

Well, as scary as this may be to think about, Jax won't really have much of anything to fall back on. His cruel actions have wrote him into a corner. No one likes him, that much is obvious. And while Jax seems content with this now? What happens when he is put in the position of needing someone else's help?

Well, then he'll have no one, and it's ironically for the exact opposite reason to Ragatha. Ragatha's problem is that she is constantly repressing her emotions, despite the fact that she has people who care about her, she doesn't open up to them because in her eyes, her feelings are secondary to others'.

Yet Jax is the opposite, he's honest, he is self-centered, and that's also why he is one of the members who are in this most danger.

In a show that seems to be about how important community is and how important it is to stay together and be there for each other? To have a character who is the complete opposite of that. To have someone who doesn't care about others, who won't be there when someone else is hurting. To have someone who is actively making things harder for everyone... that just spells out demise.

Jax's true weakness is that he does not have a community who will be there for him when he needs it, he was never there for others so why should they be there for him? Meaning that when Jax is at the end of his rope, crying out for help, no one will listen, because as cruel as it sounds, most of the members would probably be happy that he's gone.

While this does admittedly rely a bit on speculation, I think what I've stated above might be the true reason for why Jax looked sad for a moment when the other characters were talking about the funerals held for those who have abstracted. Because in that small moment, he realizes he might not get a funeral of his own when he "dies", or if he did, no one would really have anything nice to say about him.

And that fear, that knowing of how the way you've built yourself up by putting others down has lead to everyone hating you, to everyone not having a single good thing to say about you... that is terrifying. And yet he hides it, he walks away, he refuses to attend the funeral because then he will have to be confronted with the uncomfortable reality of the fact that he won't die as someone who was remembered for doing good things.

The only thing he'll be remembered for, is how much everyone hated him. And all of that brings us right back, to Pomni.

I said at the beginning of this post, as well as with the title itself, that Ragatha and Jax matter to Pomni's character arc, but why is this? Sure they're both main characters so obviously they're going to influence her journey going forward, but how exactly does any of this matter to Pomni? It's simple really.

Ragatha and Jax represent two extremes, they represent what happens when you lean too far in one direction. In one case, it is caring too much about others and not caring about yourself, and in the other, it's caring too much about yoursef and not caring about others.

Pomni has already shown traits of both Jax and Ragatha. She has shown an empathetic, kindhearted side as seen in her interactions with Gummigoo, and she has shown a selfish side, as seen when she abandoned Ragatha for the "exit" in the pilot.

Pomni has shown herself to be both selfish and selfless. But what part of her matters more? Simple answer, both. It is important to care about others while also taking time to take care of yourself. Ragatha and Jax show what happens when you forget to do one of these things.

By always taking care of others, you're forgetting to take care of yourself, and by always taking care of yourself, you fail to take care of others. To find a healthy balance is to do both. To be aware of your own mental health while also making sure that others are doing okay too. And this is something that Pomni will need to realize if she is going to make it in the circus.

And this is where Jax and Ragatha become important. I believe these two will show Pomni how important it is to keep a balance of things. To not lean too far in one direction, as if you do, it spells bad news for you either way. And how will this be communicated to her and the audience?

Abstraction.

Think about it. If Ragatha and Jax's harmful practices continue without change and they end up abstracing because of it, that will be a wakeup call to Pomni, it will show her the flaws of being too selfless, and too selfish. Is it an extreme way to communicate such message? Sure, but it's also one that can't be ignored.

We, the audience, and Pomni, would see first hand the consequences of leaning too far in either direction, that if you don't find a balance, you will end up like Jax and Ragatha did.

And that's why I think these two in particular have been given so much screentime and attention these past two episodes. Because they are meant to show us the most extreme versions of Pomni's most prominent character traits.

The ability to care about yourself, and the ability to care about others.

Of course, I might be wrong in this assessment. We are far too early in the show's runtime to truly predict any big events like this. But from a narrative standpoint, I believe this interpretation makes the most sense in the way of showing us the audience, and Pomni, what truly matters. It's not just about you, it's not just about others, it's about both.

Thank you for reading.

#the amazing digital circus #tadc pomni #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #character study #analysis

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to Crazier Bastard's Chapter 296

Brief summary: Cale meets the World Tree and learns about what happened to him. Cale and Super Rock sets down the flags of Cale using his Instant ability in the future. Cale decides to save the WT instead of using his WT seed.

==========

First of all, Dragon Lord's side was crazy. Not only did they create this space where time was repeated over again and again, they even cut off both of the WT's feet. 😡

In addition to the Dragon Lord, the Saintess of GoW (Orsena lady), a wanderer (from the Five-Colored Bloods), and the Saint of GoC came to visit the WT. GoC's saint was a new character, and Cale thought they must be more powerful than 2nd Star Epley who was just a believer.

The two saints placed a curse on WT, forcing him to experience the death of all living beings in this world thousands of times in just an instant. WT temporarily broke down after that, and they used that time to chain him up. 😡😡😡

And then, the Instant red flags came. 🤣🤣🤣 Cale was thinking on how to counter the Dragon Lord's powers of time, and immediately thought of his Instant ability.

Cale: *thinks of his Instant ability after hearing the Dragon Lord's powers* Super Rock (SR): No, Cale! Don't think about that! Cale: (Yes, what was I thinking?) SR: You, don't waste the Instant you have. No matter how much you've connected the plates together and strengthened them. The Instant ability you possess is not something you can handle with your human skin! I'll say it clearly, don't use it if you don't want to die! Cale: (Yes, yes. I won't use it anyway. I have lots of allies now here and from my world, right? I can even use GoD and the Blue Wolf, or Cotton's organization. Or the Central Plains people.) SR: Then why are you biting your lip so hard? Cale: (Damn it!) *thinks about what other time powers his side could use* SR: Isn't there Raon's Present attribute? Cale: (Damn it! Shut up!) SR: You're not thinking of taking Raon's place, right? Cale: (...No?) SR: Pfft. Cale: (Let's not create a situation like that. A situation where Raon will move or I will use my Instant.) SR: Yes. It won't come to that. We won't let it come to that. Let's use our allies as much as possible! Cale: *agrees*

My goodness, Cale. That conversation pretty much confirmed that you'll be using Instant and taking the place of Raon. 😂 Super Rock, you're not helping either. 😂😂😂

Moving on, Cale decided to save the WT instead of killing it. He ignored Fire AP's excited talk of burning the WT to ashes to let it be reborn again. 🤣🤣🤣 As for the chains that bound WT, it was the same chains that bound the Sky-Eating Water, so SEW was really excited to break it.

Oh yeah, GoD also sent Cale messages that since GoB had gone crazy because of the mess GoC created in the God realm, he could now create a portal between Central Plains and Aipotu. Ooooh! We're going to meet HD again soon!

Ending Remarks The antagonists made me mad at what they did to the WT. Fortunately, the comedic moment of the Instant red flag planting got me to forget it. 😂 Next chapter would be SEW breaking the chains and Cale saving the suicidal WT.

#tcf spoilers #trash of the count's family

[doumadono]

Hey um so could you do a thing with choso, nanami and/or geto (or more of u want to) comforting reader after her friends forgot about her birthday?

(Happy birthday to me ig)

-🍓

Nanami & Choso with Reader whose friends forgot about her bday - headcanons

A/N: happy belated birthday, dear Anonnie ♥

JUJUTSU KAISEN EMERGENCY REQS

Choso

You come home with a heavy heart - your friends had completely forgotten about your birthday. The day that was supposed to be filled with joy and celebration now feels empty and lonely.

Choso is perceptive in his quiet, stoic way. He sees the sadness in your eyes, the way your shoulders sag as you drop your bag by the door. "Is something wrong?" he asks, his voice soft and steady.

You shake your head, not trusting your voice to remain steady.

Choso doesn't push. Instead, he sits beside you, his presence a quiet reassurance. After a moment of silence, he speaks again. "Please, babe. Tell me what happened."

You hesitate at first but then the words tumble out, your feelings of hurt and abandonment. "They just… forgot," you whisper. "My birthday… they forgot."

He gently cups your cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear you didn't realize had fallen. "I'm sorry it happened."

Choso then leads you to the living room, where he has quietly set up a small, but heartfelt surprise. There's a cake he must have bought earlier, and a small gift wrapped in neat paper. "I hope I chose the good flavor of the cake," he murmurs, a rare, small smile gracing his lips. "Happy birthday, babe."

He lights a single candle on the cake and looks at you expectantly. "Make a wish."

You close your eyes, the loneliness beginning to fade as you blow out the candle. When you open your eyes, Choso's smiling at you.

The two of you spend the evening together, sharing the cake and stories.

Choso's presence is comforting, his usually reserved nature softened by his genuine care for you.

After the cake, he brings you the gift. "I got if for you months ago," he admits, handing it to you.

You open it to find a beautifully bound journal, something you've been wanting for a while. Tears of gratitude fill your eyes. "Thank you, Choso. This means so much to me."

He smiles, reaching across the table to take your hand in his. "You deserve to feel special, today and every day. Never forget that."

"Thank you, Choso," you say, feeling your heart lift. "This means more than you know."

"Babe. You mean the world to me," he replies simply, and you can see the sincerity in his eyes.

Nanami

The day has been long and disappointing. You find yourself in the living room, staring blankly at the TV.

Initially, Nanami notices your quiet demeanor throughout the day, sensing something amiss. He's observant like that. Finally, he approaches you, calmly asking, "Is something bothering you?"

You try to brush it off at first, not wanting to trouble him with your own problems. "It's nothing, really. Just a silly thing," you say, trying to smile.

Nanami, however, isn't one to accept vague answers. He sits beside you, his presence calming. "I find it hard to believe that it's nothing. You're not your usual self today."

You finally confess, "It's just… my friends forgot about my birthday. It's silly, I know."

Nanami doesn't dismiss your feelings as trivial. Instead, he nods understandingly. "It's not silly. Birthdays hold significance to people. I understand why you might feel hurt. I'm sorry your friends forgot."

You nod, trying to hold back tears. "It just… it hurt, you know?"

Nanami gives your hand a comforting squeeze. "I can only imagine."

You look down, feeling the tears start to well up.

Nanami gently tilts your chin up so you meet his eyes. "But that doesn't mean your birthday has to be ruined. Let me make it special for you."

"How?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

He stands, pulling you to your feet. "Come with me," he says, leading you to the kitchen. There, he starts preparing your favorite meal, moving with a quiet efficiency. As he cooks, he talks to you about his day, sharing small anecdotes and observations, slowly coaxing you out of your shell. His calm demeanor and steady presence begin to lift your spirits.

When the meal is ready, he sets the table with an almost ritualistic precision, ensuring everything is perfect.

You sit down, and he places a single candle in the center of the table, lighting it with a small, thoughtful smile. "Happy birthday, sweetie," he says, his voice warm and sincere.

You smile, feeling the warmth of his gesture seep into your heart. The food is delicious, but more than that, it's the care and effort Nanami put into making this moment special that truly touches you.

#emergency request #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami kento jjk #nanami kento imagine #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x reader #jjk fluff #nanami fluff #choso x reader #choso x you #choso kamo x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #choso x y/n #kamo choso #jjk choso #choso kamo x y/n #choso kamo x you #choso fluff

[howlingday]

Jaune x raven

Ruby and yang's reaction along with there dad and summer.

"Ah, shit..."

"Raven?" Summer called out to her former teammate. "Raven, is that you?"

"Hello, Summer... Tai... Yang..."

"And Ruby!" Piped up the younger Rose.

"What, uh... What's going on?" Taiyang asked, clearly feeling awkward about the scenario, and to be honest, who wouldn't? His ex-lover was seated at a cafe, alone, with two teacups in front of her.

"I'm on a date."

"Oh, really?" Growled Yang. "Guess Dad just isn't good enough for you anymore?"

"Your father and I broke things off years ago." She then looked to the Rose duo. "He's clearly gotten over me. Why is it wrong for me to do the same?"

"The same?!" Yang's eyes flashed red and her hair golden. "How is this even close to being-"

"Yang! Enough!" The girl calmed down a bit at her father's words. "It's good to see you again, Raven. I'm happy you've moved on."

"Thank you." Raven replied, cordially.

"My, this new lover must be having some kind of effect on you." Summer said. "I've never heard you say thank you before."

"Maybe." Raven shrugged. "I didn't really notice, I guess. If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my date."

"Oh, of course!" Summer nodded. "Come on, girls, let's leave Raven to romantic rendezvous."

"Her what?" Ruby asked.'

"Her date." Yang answered, already turning away. Not bothering to say good-bye, she already started walking. However, a familiar voice suddenly rang in her ear.

"Sorry I took so long. The bathroom only lets one person at a..." She slowly turned to see her friend, a fellow blond whose blue eyes were strikingly similar to another man she knew. One who was standing nearby and at a similar height to him. "Uh, hi, Ruby... Yang... and... parents?"

"Parents." Summer nodded. "Raven? Would you like to introduce us?"

"Not really, no."

"Uh, well..." The young man extended his hand and the elder took it. "I'm Jaune, Jaune Arc."

"Taiyang Xiao Long." The father shook the hand. "And, uh, this is awkward."

"Oh, good," Yang said, "then it isn't just me."

#rwby #canary #jaune arc #yang xiao long #ruby rose #summer rose #raven branwen #taiyang xiao long #summer lovin

[yanderederee]

Windbreaker Official Q&A !

Part1 › Part2

(answer releases are slow, so I’ll post an update probably within a month or so?) -> Q&A hosted here

1. What would you spend 500 yen on?

Sakura: “I’d buy Saboten’s Curry Bread.”

Nirei: “I’d like to buy more notebooks!”

Sugishita: “Dunno.”

Kotoha: “A cup of delicious coffee.”

Suo: “I would donate it of course.”

Hiragi: “I just ran out of stomach medicine.”

2. If you were to travel in Japan, where would you like to go?

Sakura: “Well… a place worth taking a walk.”

Nirei: “We should all go to Okinawa, it looks like fun.”

Sugishita: “Dunno.”

Kotoha: “I want to see the snowy scenery of nature in Hokkaido.”

Suo: “I’d like to go to a tea plantation in Shizuoka and pick tea.”

Hiragi: “I want to try snowboarding, so probably a ski resort.”

3. What is your favorite seasoning?

Sakura: “Ketchup. Omurice with ketchup is the best.”

Nirei: “I like to eat rice cakes with sugary soy sauce!”

Sugishita: “Dunno.”

Kotoha: “Japanese-style soup stock. With that, I can make anything delicious.”

Suo: “I’d say soy sauce. It's sweet, isn't it?”

Hiragi: “It's delicious if you put miso on nigiri rice and bake it.”

4.) What do you think about before going to sleep?

Sakura: “Fighting.”

Nirei: “I think about everyone I was with that day.”

Sugishita: “Dunno.”

Kotoha: “Pothos's sales status.”

Suo: “The dragon sealed in the left eye is about to rampage, so I guess that's it, haha.”

Hiragi: “If I can’t sleep, I try not to think about it.”

5. What would you eat for your last meal?

Sakura: “What… Why is it the last one? I’ve never thought about it.”

Nirei: “High-class meat. I want to eat til I’m full!”

Sugishita: “Dunno.”

Kotoha: “I dont care what I eat, I just want to eat it with everyone at the facility and the teachers.”

Suo: “Hmm, I don’t need to eat anything.”

Hiragi: “If it’s my last meal, then that must mean I’m in a bad situation, right? That means my stomach hurts, and I wonder if I can eat it. If I can eat it, I might say Katsudon.”

6.) What happened recently that made you happy?

Sakura: “At the butcher's... I got a bonus when I bought croquettes…”

Nirei: “I was able to have small talk with Mr. Umemiya.”

Sugishita: “Dunno.”

Kotoha: “Customers really liked the new menu.”

Suo: * “I had two tea pillars stand recently.”

Hiragi: “I got a ticket for my favorite band.” (LETS GO TOGETHER PLEASE!!!)

* When pouring freshly brewed loose-leaf tea, you can sometimes expect to find a tea stem/pillar in your tea. It’s considered good luck if one of those pillars stand vertically.

7.) What would you do if a stranger of the opposite sex asked for your contact information?

Sakura: “What?! What are you going to do when you have it!?”

Nirei: “A-are you sure it’s mine you want!? Not Sakura, or Suo’s?!”

Sugishita: “eh… uh…. um…”

Kotoha: “Sorry~ I have a boyfriend.”

Suo: “I don’t have a phone, sorry.”

Hiragi: “O..Oh… is my number okay?” (YES PLEASE)

#I NEEDED TO RELEASE THIS IMMEDIATELY #IVE BEEN WAITING AND BITING MY FINGERS TO RELEASE THIS FOR SO LONG #BUT I CANT DO IT ANYMORE #so im making it a multiple part so that i can finally rest easy #in case no one can tell Hiragi is my favorite and quickly becoming an obsession #he’s so underrated #wind breaker #windbreaker #wind breaker (satoru nii) #wind breaker x reader #wind breaker manga #wind breaker official Q&A #wind breaker headcanons #technically canons??? #wind breaker Hiragi #Hiragi toma #toma hiragi #wind breaker Sakura #Sakura #sakura haruka #haruka sakura #wind breaker nirei #nirei akihiko #wind breaker suo #suo hayato #hayato suo #wind breaker sugishita #kyotaro sugishita #wind breaker kotoha #kotoha tachibana

[sashaisready]

This Must Be The Place: Chapter 7 - Make it up as we go along

Biker!Bucky x Femme Reader

Back at your beloved late grandmother's home to pack up her house, you have a run-in with the town's biker gang 'The Howling Commandos' and find yourself entangled with the metal armed President.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Bit of assault towards Bucky (but not enough to hurt him), a just a note that this probably isn't the healthiest dynamic...

Ah surprise chapter drop! Hope you enjoy. I probably won't be able to post again until monday now. As always, I appreciate your lovely reblogs and comments. I'm so glad people are engaging with this series and I hope you continue to enjoy it!! I’m afraid I don’t have a taglist for this series, I don’t use them as I’ve had technical issues with them in the past. Sorry!

(gif not reflective of how reader looks)

You knew he was right – you needed to clear the air, and fix whatever the hell was going on between you both (if anything). But you couldn’t resist being petty, lashing out after his poor treatment of you earlier. Granny always said be the bigger person…but she was a far better than woman than you.

“Sorry. Can’t. Not on the clock,” you shot back at him as you unlocked the car.

You opened the car door and his arm moved to your shoulder, holding you firmly to stop you from getting in. You held strong, not letting his touch melt you.

“Fine. I deserve that,” he said gruffly, “but I really do want to talk to you. Please”.

The softness in his voice caught you off guard and you found you were annoyed by the sudden wobble of weakness you felt. No! STRENGTH!

You sighed heavily. “Alright. Step into my office,” you gestured to the car.

You slipped into the driver’s seat as he dropped his hold from your arm, then he followed suit by getting into the passenger seat alongside you. The Mustang’s passenger seat looked almost comically small with his big bulk spread across it.

He turned to look at you, face perfectly illuminated by the parking lot lamps. It wasn’t fair that anyone could possibly look so hot in fluorescent lighting.

“This is a nice car,” he said admiringly as he looked around the interior.

“I know” you replied curtly. “She’s my girl”.

“What’s her name?”

“Sally”.

He blinked at you.

“Mustang…Sally? Really?”

You folded your arms defiantly. “Is that a problem?”

“No…no…it’s not…” but you could see in his face he was trying to hold back one of those stupid smirks.

“If you’ve come here to make fun of me you can get the hell out…”

“No! I haven’t. Christ. It’s just funny…that’s all. It’s…cute”.

“Shut up, James”.

“Ohhh…you found that out, huh?” he grinned wickedly. “Well joke’s on you, cos I like you saying it…”

You took a second to scowl and him, then stared ahead out of the windshield with your arms crossed, hoping you looked more mysterious stranger than you did tantruming toddler. The two of you sat uncomfortably in the resulting silence.

“I’ve been an ass,” he told you, his eyes intense.

“Yes, you fucking have” you growled back at him.

“I’m sorry…really-”

“Look…Bucky,” you interrupted him aggressively. “I get it, we kissed. It didn’t mean anything to you. Fine. Whatever. But you didn’t have to ignore me…you didn’t have to parade Amber around in front of me like-”

“Sugar…”

“No! I mean how hard would it have been to drop me a text? Or tell me you made a mistake? Literally anything…”

“Sug…can I speak-”

“I’m not some random girl in a bar, Bucky! You can’t just ignore me. We work together. You’re my boss. You can’t just lay one on me and act like I don’t exist and-”

“Sugar! I’m trying to explain myself here!!” he barked, but you seemed to be on a roll…the floodgates were open.

“And another thing! Why are you getting aggressive about me meeting guys?? I can date who I like! You don’t get to be angry, especially when-MMPH!”

Bucky had clamped his large metal hand over your mouth, quite literally silencing you. Your eyes widened in shock; his tactic must’ve worked because you were briefly stunned into submission.

“I’m sorry…that was rash of me, but I literally can’t get a word in edgewise…” he told you gently, his voice quiet as if trying to talk down a spooked horse. “If you’d just let me-”

You yelped and shrieked as you wrenched his hand from your mouth in disbelief.

“What the FUCK was that?” you squawked as you struck him on the shoulder. Not hard enough to hurt, if you even could hurt him, but hard enough for him to curse and utter your name in incredulity.

Suddenly you were climbing over the seat and swatting at him, your anger boiling over. The inevitable purge after holding everything in all night. You knew it must’ve looked funny as he was so much larger than you, but your anger outweighed any self-consciousness.

“What. The. Fuck” you cried out, punctuating each word with a thwack to Bucky’s torso as he swore and tried to shuffle back, but the lack of space in the car meant he had nowhere to go. He just bumped into the passenger window as he exclaimed at you.

He quickly became tired of your attempted assault and wrapped his arms around yours, trapping them at your sides and effortlessly pulled you over the seats. “Alright,” he said tiredly. “Enough of that!”

Suddenly you were incapacitated in his hold, essentially straddling his lap as you voiced your outrage and tried to wriggle out of his hold.

“Bucky! What the-”

“You wouldn’t stop hitting me and shouting in my face! Jesus! Do you have any idea what a menace you are?”

The two of you squabbled for a little longer, faces inches apart.

“If you would just listen…”

“You can’t just DO stuff like that!”

“Why do you have to fight me on every, single, thing?”

“Why can’t you just be upfront and direct with me for once?”

A sudden silence enveloped you both as if someone had flicked an off switch, the bickering now replaced with a shared penetrating stare between you the two of you. Almost nose to nose. It was as if you both realised your close proximity in the same moment.

You weren’t sure who went in first. But it didn’t matter. He freed your hands and they flew up into his hair as he kissed you roughly, and you kissed him back just as hard. It was heated, passionate but there was anger in there too. Pent up desire and rage, a deadly combination. You nipped roughly at his bottom lip with your teeth, and he hissed and retaliated by forcefully pulling you closer into him as the kisses became deeper and sloppier and your tongue was no longer yours but a separate force you couldn’t control. His hands made their way up your back, then moved back down across your waist, then he pulled you forwards and lifted your ass up and he squeezed fistfuls of it as he moaned into your mouth. Part of you wanted to slap him and call him a pervert but you were simply too caught up to do so. It was wrong but so right. You wanted to shun him and punish him, but you also couldn’t stay away from him. Damn him.

“You’re so annoying…” he murmured softly as he dotted kisses across your jawline.

“So are you…” you retorted as you rocked your hips against his lap and stretched to get more comfortable in the cramped car.

“I should’ve implemented a skirts-only uniform policy,” he growled as his hands explored the back of your jean-clad thighs.

“Stop talking,” you managed breathily before silencing him with another kiss.

He moved you further onto his lap again and you allowed him to. He was firm in his hold but never too rough. You leaned across him to pull the lever to recline the seat but in your urgency and ungainliness you managed to hit the horn with your backside, sending a loud tone that made both of you jump.

It seemed to snap you out of your stupor as you flung yourself back against the driver’s seat, your hands recoiling away from him like your fingers had been burnt.

“No…we gotta stop this,” you panted out as you regained your composure and smoothed down your mussed hair. The silence lay thick and heavy.

He sat back against his own seat looking a little bewildered. “Yeah…sorry. You’re right. I just…lost myself a little there,” he cleared his throat.

“You hurt me,” you told him meekly and unable to meet his gaze. “I feel really embarrassed. After we kissed…you didn’t get in touch. Then tonight you almost seemed annoyed I was there when you came in. And you spent the whole time with Amber, apart from when you got pissed at me for talking to another guy”.

You chewed your lip, mortified by your own vulnerability. But you were glad you finally said it out loud. It was the most honest thing you’d ever said to him.

You could see him nodding in your periphery. “I’m sorry, Sug,” he said quietly.

He took a deep breath. “That kiss…it did mean something to me you know”.

You finally turned to look at him, surprised by his admission. “What?”

He looked back at you. He seemed…smaller, somehow. “Of course it did,” he continued. “We both felt it, didn’t we? This thing between us. I feel a little crazy around you. You’re like this…brilliant woman. Smart and funny…makes the meanest spicy ‘marg for hundreds of miles,” he grinned.

Even you couldn’t stifle a chuckle at that.

“You also get under my skin in a way nobody else does. You make me so mad. But I can’t help being near you. And when you got hurt that night…I was so angry. Angry at myself for not protecting you. Angry at you for mouthing off and not getting help. I guess…I guess it sorta pushed me to finally make a move…and then Sam interrupted and…” he sighed “Fuck. I don’t know. I suddenly felt bad. I shouldn’t be hitting on my staff. Especially injured staff…”

“Yeah…but I wanted it too, Bucky. You know I did…”

“I know…But…I dunno, I wouldn’t want you to ever think I was taking advantage”.

You swallowed, absorbing everything he’d just told you. Yeah…that was reasonable. He was your boss after all and there was always going to be a weird power dynamic there, but you still had more questions than answers.

“Bucky…” you started quietly. “If you wanted the kiss…Why did you disappear? I didn’t hear from you…and then tonight…”

He interrupted you with a noise of frustration, but seemingly towards himself rather than you.

“Alright…look. This…well, there’s no way of spinning any of this that makes me look good here, alright? But I want to be honest with you…I’m not going to lie to you”.

You nodded, grateful for his candour but uneasy about what he might say. You stiffened but still turned to him and gave him your full attention.

“Okay…so. Like I said, I wanted the kiss. And I’m glad it happened. And I was gonna text…call…and I almost did so many times, I had your contact open on my phone and everything…but I guess…I panicked a little”.

“Panicked?”

“Yeah…I mean,” he sighed. “Because I really like you. And I’m not used to that. And on top of that, I’m your boss. And…you’re leaving town soon anyway. And…our relationship is sorta, volatile? I guess? I admit this is fucked up and chicken shit of me, but I kinda freaked out. I suppose I worried that if I jumped headfirst into something with you, it might be a mess. Or worse, I might fall hard, and it would be that much harder to see you go when the time came. I know you might think this is me taking the easy way out to give you the brush off…but it’s the truth”.

You sat in silence at his admission, eyes wide and lips parted. You were surprised at how open he was. The two of you had never really done ‘direct communication’ before…and it was eye opening to say the least. You knew deep down you agreed, you already knew that finally saying goodbye to him would be tough…you didn’t want to make it any tougher.

“I still shouldn’t have left you hanging like that. I’m sorry,” he told you with sincerity. “I’m not…good at this stuff”.

“And what about you and Amber? I mean the two of you…”

He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “Look…there is no me and Amber…”

“But-” you interrupted harshly. “I’ve seen you..”

“No. Seriously, it’s the truth,” he explained as he ran a hand through his hair. “Amber is cute. She’s fun. Again, I won’t lie to you – we’ve fooled around in the past. But I’m not interested in pursuing anything with her. She knows that, I’ve never lied to her about that. But she tries. And I do care for her. But it’s just messing around. We flirt and it’s fun, and I know it might look I lead her on, but I consistently remind her where I stand. I guess maybe she’s hoping I’ll change my mind? I don’t want to outright ban her from the bar…but she turns up…and some of the guys are involved with her friends…and I guess I’m too clumsy to give the situation the care it deserves because I don’t want to give her false hope, but I don’t want to be outright mean to her either. I know you probably think I’m just some meathead biker juggling girls, but I don’t like hurting people who don’t deserve it”.

You noted the concern in his voice. He really did seem to care about handling it right, even if he wasn’t very good at it. But you remembered the extent of tonight and rolled your eyes.

“C’mon Bucky…that’s all very well and good…but she was sitting in your damn lap this evening. So you’re not exactly taking a hard line with her….” You scowled.

“Yeah…and did you see the part where I rolled my eyes and moved her away?”

“Oh, come on…”

“It’s true! I told her to back off, but you’d disappeared…”

“Don’t insult me…”

“I’m not, it’s the truth!” He frowned. “Okay, fine, maybe I need to be stricter with her. We’ve just been doing this back and forth for so long I sometimes forget how it must look…”

“Poor little you…”

“Oh, don’t give me that. What about you, huh? Flirting and giving out your number in front of me?”

“That’s different! You were ignoring me…I thought you’d knocked me back!”

“I saw that message was from Wanda but you made out it wasn’t…I know what you were doing. You were enjoying me being jealous…And yes, obviously I was jealous, so don’t think make a whole thing of it”.

You stopped suddenly, your cheeks feeling hot as he’d caught you out in your game. “Oops. Um…okay. Fine…”

You both sat quietly until he spoke again.

“I guess both of us have played a part in this, not being upfront with the other about how we feel”.

“Yeah…” you sighed. “That’s true enough…I’m still mad, though”.

“That’s okay. I deserve it”.

He nudged you playfully and you couldn’t help but crack a smile. Damn him.

“Look…given how much drama there’s been already between us…Maybe we should just call it, put a stop to this thing and stay just friends and colleagues. Have quieter lives as a result,” you offered, unable to mask the melancholy in your voice.

He nodded. “Yeah…that probably is for the best”.

You felt sad…but you knew it was the right move. All this drama and angst and you’d only shared a few kisses. Imagine how much worse it would get? What if you’d slept together?? And he was right earlier, this whole thing did have an expiration date. You didn’t want to have to quit your job even if it was temporary. You didn’t want to leave on bad terms because you were banging your boss, or because you were insecure about who else he was banging. It all came back to the same bottom line…you didn’t need this in your life. Not now. Not with Granny’s house.

This was for the best. This was a mature decision. This was growth.

Wait.

Wait.

Why is he looking at you like that…?

What is he….oh.

Uh oh.

“Bucky…” you pleaded softly, but his mouth was already on yours.

“Just friends,” he mumbled into your mouth.

“Just friends,” you whispered against his.

Shit.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #james bucky barnes #this must be the place fic #biker!bucky #motorcycle club au bucky

[babygirl-diaz]

Eddie's Magical Boo Boo Healing Powers

In which Buck has a daughter named Eliza, who is really close to his best friend, Eddie.

***

They were at a BBQ at Bobby and Athena's place and Eddie was in the kitchen talking to Athena, Maddie, Karen, and Hen when he felt a tug on his pant leg. He looked down to see Buck's 3-year-old daughter Eliza pouting up at him with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Eddie gently asked as he got to her level after putting his beer down on the counter.

"Eddie, I gots hurt," Eliza sniffled and stuck out her elbow towards Eddie. "Can you make my boo boo better?"

"Aw, of course, sweetie," Eddie replied. He examined her elbow to make sure she wasn't severely hurt. He just noted the scrapes and figured she must have fallen somewhere. "Okay, you know the drill, what do we say?"

"Boo boo boo boo go away," Eliza started saying along with Eddie.

"We don't wanna see you for one more day," Eddie added. He kept his palm at about an inch distance from the scrape and pretended to heal it. "Because playtime isn't over and boo boo you're a-"

"-LOSER!" Eliza finished the sentence for him and giggled.

"Does that feel better?" Eddie asked.

Eliza nodded enthusiastically. "Mhmm!"

"Do you mind if I clean the scrape anyway and put a band-aid on it? That will make it feel even faster!" Eddie told her

"Okay," Eliza shrugged

"Athena," Eddie said looking up at her "-do you have a bandaid? And a clean cloth?"

Athena gave Eddie an amused look and nodded. "Yeah, I'll get them."

Eddie found all the women giving him an amused look but he ignored it and went back to Eliza. "Where's your dad?"

"Daddy's playing video games with Chris," Eliza replied.

Athena soon returned with the cloth and the bandaid and also gave him a small bowl of water. Eddie thanked her and very gently cleaned Eliza's scrapes.

Eliza hissed and was on the verge of tears again.

"Shhh... It's okay, sweetie. I got you," Eddie assured her. Once he finished cleaning her wound, he put the Care Bear bandaid on it. "Now it will heal faster and you won't even feel it tomorrow!"

Eliza nodded and yawned. Her bright blue eyes, which were exactly like Buck's, were filled with exhaustion.

"Do you wanna take a nap?" Eddie asked. "You can take a nap on my shoulder."

Eliza nodded and raised her arms for Eddie to pick her up. Eddie took her into his arms and stood up. She put her head on his shoulder and slowly drifted off to sleep, clutching onto his shirt.

"You're so good with her," Maddie commented. "When are you and my brother getting married again?"

"We're not even together, Maddie. Buck and I are just friends."

"Right," Karen chimed in. "Friends who are somehow raising each other's kids."

Eddie blushed at that.

"Eliza?" Buck came wandering into the kitchen calling out to his daughter. He stopped when he saw her with Eddie and smiled. "There she is."

"Yeah, she was sleepy so I let her sleep on my shoulder. I hope that's okay," Eddie told him.

"Oh, it's more than okay," Buck replied. "Hey, so I was thinking, maybe instead of eating at home this Tuesday, we can take the kids to that new arcade with the food court that opened downtown."

"Eliza doesn't like video games, though," Eddie pointed out.

"She'll love this place and if she doesn't then we can always leave and go to a different place. I'm sure Chris will love this place, though."

"We have to think of both kids, Buck," Eddie reminded him.

"Fine, how about we eat at home and then go to the movies afterward?" Buck suggested.

"I like that. But none of those action thrillers that you and Chris like so much. We need something kid-friendly for Eliza."

Buck let out a long, drawn-out sigh and nodded, "Fine. Anyway, I came to get Coke Zero for Chris and me. Gotta get back to the game."

With that, he took out the drinks from the cooler and left.

The ladies all looked at him with varying degrees of the same look. "See what we were talking about?"

"Oh my god, shut up," Eddie told them, without any of them saying a word, and blushed again.

#I don't know what this is #i just wanted to write a fic where Buck had a daughter who was close to Eddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #buddie #911 abc #911 fanfic #911 fic #drabble #fluff #family fluff #original child character

[nevesmose]

"Light, I've been wondering something. Who is your favourite Primarch?"

This is dangerous. Since he thinks I'm Kira there's no way he would expect me to choose anyone but Horus but if I overcompensate by naming someone like Vulkan it'll only make him more suspicious. Dammit, Ryuzaki! I can't let you beat me so easily. Based on his disturbing appearance and warped obsession with justice there's a reasonable chance that he's a Konrad Curze fan, which means there's certainly no way I can say Corax. Misa mains Sisters of Battle so she's useless to me yet again.

Heh heh heh. Gotta answer him soon Light, unless you want him to think you're some kind of socially inept turbo-autist. But there's no way people like that would ever be such big Battlemace fans that they'd spend time circlejerking about their space dudes during a murder investigation.

That's a good point, Ryuk. L's principles would never allow him to waste even a second of time pointlessly discussing Primarchs while Kira remains at large. Maybe he doesn't even like 40K at all and this is just a test. Kira would want to slow down the investigation any way he could, including by starting long-winded arguments about which Primarch is the best, so I should avoid the question and tell him we need to focus on the task at hand.

Wait a second! If he had cameras in my room then he must know about the 3000 points of Dark Angels I have in a box under my bed. And even a cursory online investigation would lead him to my posts on r/grimdank. So pretending I don't like 40K isn't an option.

Very clever, L. You almost had me from behind but now I am the one who's behind you. Since he knows I play Dark Angels I could say the Lion is my favourite, but... no, there's no way he would believe that. No one likes the Lion that much.

Dammit, who else is even left? I always forget some of them and I can't sneak away to look it up on Lexicanum. Mortarion? No, L knows I'm obsessively hygienic so he would instantly realise I was lying.

What if I suggest another homoerotic game of tennis or a foot massage? But there's no way he would let anything like that distract him, not from Primarch discourse. Come on, Light! You were looking at a tier list of Primarch GFs only last night!

I just have to go through my remaining options. Even if he is a Curze fan, it's too dangerous for me to say I like him too or he'll start lecturing me about morality and then accuse me of not understanding how he was really a scrungly ratboy who did nothing wrong.

If I choose any of the other Traitor Primarchs he'll take it as more evidence that I'm Kira. So that leaves the Loyalists. Sanguinius and the Khan are both too interesting and Dorn isn't interesting enough. I need to choose someone so average and middle-of-the-road that there's no possible way he could ever use it to show that I'm a despicable power-crazed mass murderer.

"Roboute Guilliman."

#the likelihood of him being Kira just increased by 13% #death note #wh40k #warhammer 40k #warhammer 40000 #horus heresy #primarchposting

[auncyen]

what I meant to write: mIrabelle as the one looping having a crying breakdown in the equivalent of act 3 because I thought of it a few days ago and it's been stuck in my head (Panic! at the Dinner Table).

What actually got written: can you imagine how terrible it'd be for another looper to start suspecting Siffrin did something WELL

-

Siffrin has been suspicious for several days.

(Odile might say 'days' is inaccurate, but it's close enough, you think! You start in early afternoon on one day and then, when everything goes well, see Euphrasie in late afternoon of the next day, so it's around a day--sometimes over...many times under. Also, calling them days feels...better. Maybe it's a 'cycle' or 'loop' for everyone else caught up in this, with them always being reset to the same places, the same lines until you start changing things, but you are moving through time. You're Changing.)

(You're changing, aren't you?)

(For the better?)

--Siffrin has been suspicious for several of your days. They still act like their friendly self--they've even gifted you a flower sometimes! (You suppose other times you might have been too abrupt in waking them up. And sometimes you haven't woken them up at all, because you realize they'll come to the Clocktower anyway. They all will, it's where you're staying. You couldn't come up with anything more creative than a sleepover?) But...something's off.

You first realized something was strange about Siffrin--well, a lot of things are strange about Siffrin. You're more worried about his memory than ever now. Whenever you go into that secret room for the stash of tonics, Siffrin starts talking about a time he ran away from home, only to suddenly stop and look confused. You've tried encouraging him to continue by reminding him of everything he said up to that point (Isabeau applauded your thorough recitation with the most lightheartedness he could muster while still looking Siffrin over with his own concern), but it doesn't jog anything. You've tried guiding Siffrin to tell the story a different way with questions, but it seems like he loses the thread even faster that way. Lately you've just...cut him off from telling the story by laughing as soon as he brings it up and mentioning how mad his parents must have been when he returned. Siffrin still looks confused and lost for a terrible moment when you say that, but then he grins and agrees, and surely he's agreeing because that's what actually happened, isn't it? He said he was playing a prank. He played a silly prank for an hour or two, and then he went home, and probably he got a scolding for it but everything was fine.

...You still. Would like to avoid that room in the future. To not see that scared, lost look on Siffrin. Maybe you're strong enough now that you don't need the tonics?

But, but, you need to focus. Siffrin's memory problems are strange and worrying, and you really wished they'd said sooner how bad it is instead of letting you all tease them about it, but what's suspicious is their connection to the King.

You're not entirely sure what it is. When you go to the King, he always singles Siffrin out. "Bright One...do you remember?"

Obviously, with the already-mentioned memory problems, the answer is No. You've tried asking Siffrin if they know the King in any way, but of course he says no? Even if they knew each other once, Siffrin could have forgotten him the same way he can't remember what happened when he went out on the ocean in a boat to prank his parents? You imagined a tragically doomed romance between a villain and a hero with partial amnesia from an injury earned in one of their past scuffles (why is Siffrin's memory that bad???) for all of ten seconds before you realized that if Siffrin could forget the King, he'll surely forget boring, stagnant Mirabelle as soon as he leaves. After that you were too depressed to imagine anything between Siffrin and the King, which was probably for the better. Especially considering...

One time, the King singled out Siffrin in a different way. A terrible way. The first loop--the first day after you defeated the King and got to see Euphrasie for a glimpse of happiness before being sent back--you'd lost your temper a bit. You'd pushed everyone to go through the House faster than any time before, brought back to your senses at the end of the second floor by Odile dryly commenting on her tired feet while giving a pointed look at Bonnie, who was obviously getting worn out. You'd apologized over and over, and chewed your nails off at the second snack break to let them take all the time they needed to recover their energy, and went through the third floor without saying anything to rush Siffrin. You'd kept your temper in check until you saw the King again, and then you'd accused him of being a cheat, an unchanged loser who couldn't accept defeat, and he'd let your venting wash over him with a calm indifference ("I do not know what you speak of, Housemaiden") until you told him exactly what you were speaking of--the time that kept turning back, again and again, the days the loops the returns--

His face is mostly obscured by his long hair, but you could tell by the way his head turned that he'd directed his attention to Siffrin, and you knew it was with a glare by the cold fury in his voice. "What have you done, Bright One. The Universe's will is with me."

And then

the king struck

and Siffrin--

You don't speak to the King anymore. You don't let him talk either. You're pretty sure he told you everything you'd want to know from him. He can use Time Craft, but he isn't the one holding you in these endless days. He thinks Siffrin can use Time Craft, which sounds ridiculous, but since then you've talked with the Change God (you'd wanted reassurance you'd wanted a sign your statue was the only one unbroken in the whole House and you touched its face in reverence and the Change God spoke to you) and they'd told you three things:

you're their favorite!

they're put out by Dormont being stagnant and unchanging, but they're excited to see how exactly you change (maybe being their favorite isn't good. Your favorite characters go through some awful things, after all)

Siffrin isn't not responsible for this???

So it makes sense that Siffrin had a hand in this somehow! After a few more days which let you reach Euphrasie, you realized the time reset at the end only happens while Euphrasie is talking to Siffrin! That's suspicious! And, and, you've tried preventing it by keeping Euphrasie from talking to Siffrin, but she is so insistent she'd like to talk to them, and everyone starts looking at you strangely the more you protest, and you just...can't stop it.

You can't stop Siffrin from ruining things.

You hate that you're even suspicious of him, but he won't admit to using Time Craft when you ask, and surely even with his terrible memory, he'd remember that? He doesn't forget everything! But if he's lying, then...

Then you don't know what that means.

You don't know what to do.

--

...What Siffrin did: show Mirabelle how to wish and be an islander recognized by other islanders and not particularly liked by the Change God

#in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #siffrin #mirabelle

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

Loves Not A Drag

Based on the long text post with @decentsoupperson spicy ending will be in my AO3 later 💕

"I don't know Angel, this is a little over the top."

Angel rolled his eyes. "You make a hot fucking woman, own it!" He finished putting on the last of Adams drag makeup.

Adam rolled his eyes, that now had long sharp eyeliner and fluffy eyelashes, "Of course I'm fucking hot, I'm hot no matter what."

"I don't know what your problem is then, this isn't even the first time you've let me make you up like this."

Adam had been letting Angel dress him up as a drag queen to the nines. Now, he had on a long flowing brunette wig, a lilac purple dress with matching knee high heeled boots, jewelry, makeup done to perfection and perfume.

If he met himself as a woman he'd do him.

Now, Adam never went out looking like this, he stressed it was only to help out Angel. He didn't enjoy looking like a woman, not the dress, the bra or the panties.....

"Shit, I think I left the setting spray in your room."

Adam looked at Angel in the mirror. "Why the fuck is it in MY room?"

"Cause that's where we did this last remember? I must have just forgot it. Can you go get it?"

Adam's eyes went wide. Got out like this?! "Are you fucking high! I can't go out like this."

Angel rolled his eyes this time, putting everything else away. "It's just down the fucking hall. No one will see you big guy. Or should I say, big girl?" He smirked and it only widened when Adam glared at him.

"Don't fucking test me, bitch." Adam sighed, it wasn't that far he'd be in and out before anyone would see him.

Easy.

"Fine."

"Thank you, buddy." Angel gave an exaggerated thanks.

Adam grumbled as he made his way over to the door. He peaked his head out, no one around. Adam quietly walked down the hall, he was almost there!

"Well hello, there." Adam stopped dead in his tracks, dread filling him. No, no, no, anyone but him. Swallowing thickly, Adam plastered on a nervous smile and turned to face Lucifer. "My, you're a pretty little thing, have we met?"

Adam blinked, he didn't recognize him? He didn't recognize him! In the best woman voice he could muster, Adam answered. "No, I don't think so." He couldn't believe how real his voice sounded, not a high pitched and fake but somewhere in the middle sounding softer and a little feminine. "You are?"

"Lucifer Morningstar." Lucifer took a hokd of Adam's left hand and held it up.

"Like the King of Hell?"

Lucifer placed a gentle kiss on the back of his hand. "The very same. And you my dear, what is your name?"

"Ad-" Shit, he can't let Lucifer know it's him! Adam would never hear the fucking end of it. "Adaline."

"Adaline, what a beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Say, you wouldn't happen to be single would you? Cause I'd like to take you out sometime." Lucifer grinned widely, oh he knew it was Adam, those golden eyes gave him away. But why not have some fun and get to go on a date with his favorite sinner.

"Really? Oh, I'm very flattered. Are you sure?"

"The most sure I've been in a long time. What do you say, Adaline?"

Adam bit his lip, he knew he shouldn't but what would it hurt? "Sure, when?"

"How about tonight at seven? I'll meet you in the lobby."

Adam's heart started racing. "Okay, it's a date."

"It sure is. I'll see you later" Lucifer let go of Adams hand and walked away, making sure to get an eye full of Adams ass in that dress. He'd have to thank Angel later.

Adam sighed in relief once Lucifer was gone. He ran to his room, grabbed the setting spray and rushed back to Angels room. "ANGEL HOLY FUCK!"

"SHIT!" Angel fumbled his brushes. "What the fuck!?"

"I have a fucking date with Lucifer." Words Adam never thought he'd say.

"What? How?"

"He caught me off guard in the fucking hallway. So, I pretended to be a woman and he asked me out."

Angel gasped excitedly he cupped Adams face. "You know what this means!? I have got to make you show stopping! Here, put on these." He handed Adam a matching set of black lace panties and a push up bra. "What will you wear?"

Adam didn't know! He hasn't been on a date in years, let alone one as a woman. "Fuck, um..... Oh!" When he came back as a sinner, he was able to control plants. Using his power, he formed a dress that was made out of red roses. "There." It was high in the front, longer in the back.

Angel whistled. "Smoking. Now, let me do your makeup to match."

Adam looked himself over once more before he was to head down and meet Lucifer for their date. Weird thing to say.

He was in his dress, with black and red pumps and a crown of roses in his hair. With flowers around him, he used them to get the pollen on him so he'd smell even more like a flower. "There, how's that?"

Angel gave him a chefs kiss. "Go get him, Adaline." He winked at him and Adam only shook his head.

Clearing his throat, Adam made his way down to the lobby where Lucifer was waiting for him.

Lucifer turned when Adam came down the stairs and he swore his throat went dry and that he was looking at a piece of heaven once again. "Wow, you look gorgeous."

Adaline smiled sweetly, "Why thank you. You look rather handsome yourself." And he did, even though he was wearing a suit it wasn't his normal one it was more gray. "Where are we going?"

"Ozzie's in the Lust ring." Lucifer opened a portal and offered his arm. "Shall we?"

Adaline took the arm. "We shall." They walked through the portal arm in arm. Adam had never been to another ring before, mainly because sinners aren't allowed in any others.

Lucifer had pulled a few strings and had gotten Ozzie's all just for them, this way he can have Adam or in this case, Adaline, all to himself and see if he can get him to slip up. They were seated at a table near the front. "So my dear, tell me about yourself. Do you like plants?"

"Oh yes, I love plants and nature. Especially flowers." Adam played with one of the roses on his dress. "I love animals too." Was it hot in here? It felt like Adam was sweating, good thing all his makeup was sweat proof.

"Lovely, what kind of music do you like? Pop, classical, rock?"

Adam paused as if to think his answer over but on the inside he was panicking. Did Lucifer know? He seemed to not know that it was actually Adam, he even went the extra mile and shaved! Everything! Yes, even there. "Who doesn't enjoy rock music? Sometimes a girl just has to let her hair down and have some fun."

Lucifer sipped his drink that the waiter brought by. "I couldn't agree more. You like ribs? We can share those if you'd like."

Oooooh ribs sounded so fucking good right now. "That sounds awesome. Um, Lucifer?" Adam looked around the restaurant and noticed that there were no other customers. "Is it a slow night or are we the only ones here?"

"I value privacy so I rented out the entire restaurant. And I would love nothing more than to be alone with a beautiful woman such as yourself.~" Lucifer flirted and yeah, maybe he was putting it on a little thick but he wanted to fluster Adam so that he'd slip up and reveal it's really him. So many complaints was the way to go.

Adam felt his face heat up and he smiled sweetly, making sure to even giggle a little. "Oh stop, you're too sweet." This girly voice was going to be the death of his throat. "Thank you." His voice cracked in the last word and he coughed a little.

"Do you need some water?"

"No no, I just sucked air down the wrong way. No biggie."

In the distance, Ozzie was watching their whole interaction. "He knows that's a drag queen right?" He asked one of the many waiters. The waiter merely shrugged and went over to take the couple's order. Ozzie waited until the waiter left to go in for the kill. "Lucifer! How is everything so far?"

Lucifer looked up at Ozzie and smiled politely. "Good!"

"Good, good. And this is your lovely date....?"

"Adaline." Adam supplied with a smile.

"Adaline, a lovely name. Do you mind if I speak with you over here for a moment, Lu? I just want to make sure that this, uh, detail you ordered is to your liking." Ozzie asked as kindly as he could, he didn't want to raise any red flags.

Lucifer gave Ozzie an odd look but playef along. He didn't order anything special for the date, renting out the place with a private dinner and show was the special thing. So what could he possibly want? "What is it Oz, I'm on a date here."

"Yeah about that. There's no delicate way to say this, so I'll just say it." Ozzie took a deep breath. "You realize that your date isn't a woman, but a man? Like a beautiful drag queen made of roses?".

Lucifer laughed. "Oh is that all?" He started to whisper. "Yes I know that Adaline is actually Adam, but he doesn't know that I know. So, please keep your lips zipped and don't ruin my fun."

Ozzie held up his hands in defense. "Hey, I just had to check. We had a similar situation here not long ago where the guy didn't know." That had been a very bad day, the staff were still cleaning bits of that poor soul out of the carpet. "I just didn't want you blind sighted."

"Thanks Oz, I appreciate that."

Ozzie gave him a knowing look and waggled his eyebrows. "So, you gonna shag him in that dress?"

Lucifer snorted with a grin. "Do I look like a fool? If things go my way of course I will." He could even picture how Adam would look spread out on his sheets, that dress overflowing, a soft look on his face.....Okay now his pants were too tight.

Ozzie clapped him on the back. "Go get em, tiger."

Lucifer smiled and returned to his seat. "I'm so sorry about that my dear, where were we?"

Adam gave a polite smile. "That was Asmodeus, right? I hope everything is okay, it must have been important."

"Nothing I couldn't handle." He winked at him. The waiter brought out their ribs, steaming hot. "Dig in love, these are the best in the ring."

Adam felf his mouth water with want. The urge to devour those ribs like an animal was strong, but he was a woman at the moment. That meant he should probably eat them like a lady, well, as much as he could, ribs were messy no matter what. They split the ribs between them and Adam bit into the tender flesh and chewed slowly, both to try and have manners and to savor the delicious flavor. Not to mention he didn't want to smudge his lipstick. "These are very good."

"Indeed they are." Lucifer had to agree they were good. "What were you like when you were alive? What did you do?" This would trip Adam up for sure!

Adam panicked slightly, he didn't have a background story ready to go. He didn't think there would be this many fucking questions! "Oh, I was a florist! Yes, a florist that's why I love flowers so much." Nice save Adam, he mentally high fived himself.

"Oh really?" Well Lucifer hadn't expected that.

"Yeah, it was a great time, my wife and I- er." Fuck, how could he fuck it up at the end like that?!

Lucifer tried to serpress a smirk. "You were married to a woman before?"

Adam swallowed, no going back now. "Yes, I'm bisexual." Which wasn't a lie.

"What was her name?"

"Ev-" Dammit Adam think this through for once! "Eeeevelyn. Evelyn." Wow, that's not even that creative.

"Did you take her last name?"

"Yes actually, it was Hugo." Adaline Hugo sounded pretty good.

Lucifer blinked and took a breath. "Her name was Evelyn Hugo?"

Adam wanted to smack himself, curse you Angel and your modern romance literature! "Yes." Adam took a drink of water. "But enough about me, tell me about yourself."

"As you know, I've been married before and have a daughter." Adam nodded. "I have a fascination with ducks. Do you like ducks, my dear?" Lucifer asked.

Adam brightened. "Yes, the little yellow ones are my favorite."

"Mine too! And, I have a thing for gorgeous, tall, brunette, women. You my dear are breathtaking." Lucifer flirted, his voice taking on a seductive tone.

Adam felt his face warm up. "Oh thank you. You're quite handsome yourself." He winked feeling bold.

"I'm not the one who looks like she belongs in a wedding dress." Lucifer clamped his mouth shut. What the fuck was that!? This was their first date and he let's something like that slip out!

Adam felt his heart leap in his chest. Lucifer thought about getting married again? He wanted to see him in a wedding dress? No focus!

The flowers on the table changed from yellow lilies to red roses. "Oh oops!" Using his powers, Adam changed the flowers back. "Dinner was lovely, thank you."

"You're most welcome. How about we go for a small walk? I can show you around Lust.~" Lucifer suggested and Adam agreed. They walked around for a while until they came to a bench in a nearby park. Adam and Lucifer sat down and gazed at the moonlight. "I've been meaning to ask, where did you get that dress? It's absolutely ravishing on you."

Adam puffed up a bit. "I made it myself."

This actually surprised Lucifer. "Really? That's quite impressive, it must have taken so long." He took a hold of Adam's hand and swiped his thumb over the top.

"Oh it was nothing really." Adam watched, his breath caught in his throat as Lucifer not only placed a tender kiss on the back on his hand, but started to kiss his way up his arm. It kind if tickled. Adam couldn't help the very genuine giggle that came out. "Luci, thats tickles."

He felt Lucifer smile against his skin, the hand not holding his wrapped around his waist, pulling Adam closer. When Lucifer made it to Adam's neck he inhaled the lovely scent of flowers and something entirely Adam. He looked into Adam's beautiful golden eyes, warmth blooming in his chest. "May I kiss you on the lips?"

Oh how long has Adam waited for a moment like this? To finally have Lucifer want him and to kiss him. "Okay."

Their lips met in a feather light kiss at first, one of Lucifer's hands on Adams waist the other holding his cheek. Adam cupped Lucifer's face and sighed happily. He gasped when he felt a tongue lick at his lips and he allowed Lucifer to deepen the kiss making him moan.

Lucifer pulled away to look at the flushed needy expression on Adam's face. "Oh and Adaline?"

"Yes?" Adam asked a little dazed out still from the kiss.

Lucifer grinned widely. "I know it's you, Adam."

Adam's face dropped, cold reality hitting him like a ton of bricks. Dread filled his insides, Lucifer knew the whole fucking time?! Was he just fucking with him? "I-I-I can explain- Mmfph!" Adam was silenced with another kiss.

"You don't need to darling."

Adam sighed and let his voice go back to normal. "How long?"

Lucifer hummed. "Well, save for the first twenty seconds you had your back to me in the hallway, the whole time."

"Why did you ask me out if you knew?"

"I asked you, because I knew it was you." Lucifer pulled Adam into another kiss, this one full of need and passion. Adam clung to him like he was his only lifeline in the world. "Want to go to the hotel I booked?"

Adam raised an eyebrow. "You booked a hotel room?"

"Another bold move on my part."

"Very fucking bold. But sure, why the fuck not?" Adam was then led back to a fancy hotel, also run by Ozzie, and they went up to room number 1001.

#adamsapple #lucifer x adam #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel lucifer #fanfiction

[alicenttully]

look. im not saying there isn't some very valid concerns about alicent being raised or that i disagree with them if its proven correct. lord knows the writers don't have a good track record.

but some of y'all still need to be reminded that a trailer isn't the series. we saw 2 minutes in which we only got so much of alicent, it's impossible for them to show everything. and yet some of y'all are talking with such certainty as if you got early access to the episodes and therefore everything you say is absolute truth and not still speculation at this point.

like im sorry but has it occurred to any of y'all that those clips (alicent advising caution, aemond calling her a fool for still loving the enemy- rhaenyra) happens BEFORE blood and cheese??

concerning aemond, i think a really plausible explanation for this scene that we haven't been able to watch the full thing because again it's in a trailer, it's him and ser criston talking about how alicent was in favour of peace talks during the green council and refused to consider the alternative of killing rhaenyra. considering what aemond has just done, of course he's going to be 100+ more defensive. him criticising the peace terms that would have spared both sides and prevented a war would come across as just as bad as him deciding to chase luke on vaghar.

a lot of you also seem to have forgotten that aemond is characterised as "unforgiving" so it doesn't seem surprising to me that he would hate the idea of these peace terms because in his mind rhaenyra does not deserve forgiveness. he's been waiting for viserys to die so he could punish her and her sons. this is very similar to daemon, who was ready to kill every single green during the black council. also note the word "our". people assuming that aemond is only using it in reference to him and ser criston, and yet because he used it the word "our" it's quite possible that he doesn't think his own mother is some double double agent and despite his heavy disagreements with her, he's still including alicent in that because by crowning aegon, alicent has clearly chosen him over rhaenyra.

i want to finish here about aemond by saying how boringly predictable it is that team black are comparing aemonds words about alicent to jace's words about rhaenyra. im sorry but that isn't a fair comparison. jace is talking to a lord (likely cregan stark) whose support he's trying to gain for his mother's cause. he's not going to be bad mouthing or criticising rhaenyra. cregan stark is a STRANGER to him. on the other hand this was a private convo between aemond and ser criston (ser criston looks ready to retire for the night). ser criston is probably one of the few people in the world that aemond trusts and because criston happens to be devoted to alicent and because aemond does love his mother, he feels "safer" making these points to him in PRIVATE rather than trying to publicly undermine her like otto did by keeping in the dark and according to deleted scenes, ready to marry her off AGAIN for allies even though alicent being unaware of all this makes no sense but whatever.

people also making these claims about alicent choosing rhaenyra based off her saying "this senseless war must end." it's so annoying how y'all immediate first conclusion was that alicent was only saying it out of a desire to spare rhaenyra...... as if alicent wanting the war to end couldn't have been about protecting ALICENTS remaining children/grandchildren and the realm at large.... mind you f&b alicent says something very similar which has the exact same point being made. "how many more must die to slake your thirst for venegance?"

#alicent hightower #house of the dragon #anti hotd fandom #alicent get behind me

[doumadono]

hi I wanted to send in an emergency request, I just had to cut my dad out of my life because of how he was. he was very toxic (cursing me and hitting me as a child. sometimes calling me names at the age of 19) I feel like maybe I should take it back because he's my father but I'm also scared cause he says he'll be better but always goes back on his word.

could I get comfort from izuku comfort the person crying when getting off the phone or any one who you think that would be best to comfort

no force <3

The bravest thing you can do - Izuku x Reader

A/N: I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. It takes incredible strength to make a decision like that, especially when it involves family. Remember, your well-being comes first, and it's okay to prioritize your own safety and happiness 🌟

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

As you hang up the phone, tears blur your vision, and the weight of your decision presses down on you like a heavy burden. Doubts swirl in your mind, questioning if you made the right choice by cutting your father out of your life. The hurtful memories replay in your mind, each one a sharp pang in your heart.

As you try to compose yourself, a gentle voice breaks through the turmoil.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Turning around, you see Izuku standing there, his expression filled with concern as he tilts his head like a puppy, observing you with his keen, emerald eyes. His eyes hold a warmth that instantly puts you at ease, as if he understands the pain you're going through.

Without a word, you shake your head, unable to hold back the tears any longer.

Izuku steps closer. He wraps you in a comforting hug, his embrace strong yet gentle, as if he's silently promising to support you through this difficult time. "It's okay to feel overwhelmed, I felt that way too, many, many times before, over many different things," Izuku says softly, his voice a soothing melody in the midst of chaos. "You're not alone, and you're so brave for standing up for yourself. Forgive me, but I might have overheard a thing or two…" Izuku's voice is hesitant.

You lean into his embrace, finding comfort in his unwavering support. "I'm not sure if what I did is right," you whisper against his chest, sobbing quietly.

"Mind telling me what exactly happened?" he asks, his tone gentle.

You hesitate, unsure of how much to share, but the sincerity in Izuku's eyes encourages you to open up. "I just had to cut my dad out of my life," you confess, the words heavy with emotion. "He's been toxic for as long as I can remember, and I finally reached my breaking point."

"I know it's hard," Izuku whispers, his tone filled with understanding. "But sometimes, putting yourself first is the bravest thing you can do. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, no matter what. I'm so sorry you had to go through that though," he adds sincerely. "You must be feeling overwhelmed right now."

"I just don't know if I made the right decision," you admit, feeling the weight of doubt settle in your chest.

Izuku reaches out to place his hand on your shoulder. "It's natural to doubt yourself, especially when it comes to something as difficult as this," he says gently. "But sometimes, putting your own well-being first is the bravest thing you can do. That's the lesson Kacchan made me learn painfully well," he jokes, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

You take a shaky breath. "Do you really think so?"

Izuku nods, his conviction unwavering. "Absolutely. You deserve to be surrounded by people who lift you up, not bring you down. And if your father isn't capable of treating you with the love and respect you deserve, then you have every right to distance yourself from him."

You nod, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as Izuku's words sink in. For the first time in a long while, you allow yourself to believe that you made the right decision, despite the pain it may bring. "Thank you, Izuku," you say, your voice choked with emotion. "I needed to hear that."

"I'm here for you, okay?" Izuku says, his voice gentle but firm.

As you lean into his comforting embrace, the tears slowly begin to subside, replaced by a sense of peace. Despite the uncertainty of the future, you know that you have a friend who will stand by you through thick and thin. And with that knowledge, you take your first steps towards healing, knowing that brighter days lie ahead.

#emergency request #bnha x reader #mha x reader #izuku x reader #izuku fluff #izuku midoriya #izuku midoria x reader #mha fluff #izuku midoryia #deku fluff #midoriya fluff #midoriya x reader #mha midoriya #midoriya x you #deku x reader #deku x reader fluff #deku x you #izuku midoryia x you #izuku midoryia x reader