#but it’s also one where the rival women stop fighting each other and support each other instead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kpopfanfictrash · 3 years

Text

Raise the Barre (Ch. 11)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: ANGST part 3! But again, with progress attached.

Word Count: 10,246

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.

When you woke Saturday morning, you felt clearer about things than you’d felt all week. Your nap had lasted longer than intended, so when you woke around ten and groggily looked at your phone, you realized you’d missed your opportunity to talk to Finn.

He’d called around seven, but you seemed to have slept through this, and he’d left you no voicemail. Shooting him a text, you tried to stay up but promptly fell back asleep. When you woke to the sun streaming through your windows the next morning, you realized this was it. You’d reached a breaking point.

Pushing aside your covers, you climbed down from bed and began to get ready. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you fixed yourself up as best as you could before leaving the dorm. It was still early in the morning, the air containing a chill while you walked to the coffee shop. Finn still hadn’t responded to your text from the night prior, so you decided to give him an hour before you went over.

It had been three days since your fight in the library. If he didn’t know what to say to you by now, he could figure out what to say when he saw you in person. Steeling yourself for this possibility, you entered the shop and walked to the counter.

Staring at the holiday specials on the board, you felt nothing but numbness. As you ordered a peppermint latte and left a tip, you made a mental note to pick up Noelle one on your way home. She’d been the best friend to you this week – all weeks, really. Despite not knowing what was wrong, she’d done her best to cheer you up and be there for you.

Sipping your coffee at a table in the corner, you stared blankly at your phone. It was strange, being in a place you’d once been happy with Finn and no longer feeling attached to the memory. It was strange, contemplating the idea of breaking up with a cool sort of detachment, as though it were happening to someone other than you.

You wondered if all relationships reached a point where you simply felt tired. Maybe all humans had an emotional cap; a quota wherein all emotions following simply went unfelt. If this was this case, you imagined you might have hit yours.

Once your drink was finished, you stood and walked to place your mug in the bin. It had officially been an hour, which meant it was time to confront Finn at Redfield. Hiking your bag higher, you were about to leave the shop when you heard a familiar voice coming from behind a potted plant.

“Mom, are you serious?” Sabrina said, sounding upset. “This is a good thing.”

Uncertain, you paused. When you glanced around the fern, you saw Sabrina seated with someone unfamiliar at a table. The other person was a woman – older than you and, judging by the conversation, she seemed to be Sabrina’s mother.

Whoever she was, the woman sighed with the tone of someone who’d had this conversation before. “Tell me what’s good about it, Sabrina,” she demanded. “Vlad Copson is recommending you take additional classes outside of Russet.”

“I know.” Sabrina faltered. “It’s just because I asked about the contemporary dance program, though. I don’t… I don’t have a lot of experience in that area.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“I’m not saying it’s anyone’s fault, I’m just saying I want to–”

“We’ve been over this before, Sabrina. You need to work harder.”

Sabrina stopped talking. “I know.”

“Do you, though?” Pulling out her phone, her mother scrolled through her email. “You’ve had every advantage money could buy. Private lessons, an elite dance academy. How could you possibly be falling behind? It’s barely even the first semester.”

“Everyone’s talented at Russet, mom.”

Realizing you were staring, you side-stepped until you were hidden partway behind the fern. Mind racing, you wondered if this was what Sabrina had wanted to discuss. You’d had no idea she was interested in contemporary dance. She hadn’t seemed comfortable in the master class last week – but then again, maybe that’s what sparked this conversation.

It was strange to hear her sounding so small, so defeated. You were used to Sabrina being larger than life. If nothing else, the Sabrina you knew was confident – as soon as you thought this, a different memory came to mind. Something Jimin had said to you inside Dr. Gonzalez’s office.

He’d compared you to Sabrina and mentioned she was more insecure than you were.

“Why don’t you ask one of your friends for help?” said Sabrina’s mother. “Kelsey… or Alex?”

“Katie and Allison,” Sabrina stiffly corrected. “I asked them but um, they didn’t have time. You know… end of semester and stuff…”

She trailed off, sounding uncomfortable and you frowned. Again, you remembered last week’s master class. Sabrina’s friend Katie had stood beside Jungkook instead of helping her out. You’d thought it was weird at the time, but maybe they weren’t as close as you thought they were.

Or maybe they were similar, in that Katie wasn’t the type of person to help someone else when she had the chance to pull ahead.

Her mother made a noncommittal noise. “We’ll, you’ll just have to figure something out then, won’t you? I told you something like this would happen. That boy was a distraction. You’re better off now that you’ve ended things with him.”

Stiffening, you wondered if the boy they spoke about was Jimin, but then Sabrina scowled.

“Eamon was not a distraction,” she said, sounding sure of herself for the very first time.

Eyes widening, you stared. You’d had no idea Sabrina and Eamon were even a thing. Frantically, you thought back and tried to piece it together. You remembered Eamon leaving the dance floor at the club to head upstairs, which was where Sabrina had been sitting. Ten minutes later, she’d stormed into the downstairs bathroom in tears.

Based on what her mom was saying, it sounded as though Sabrina had broken up with Eamon. Immediately, your heart fell, and you wondered if your fight with Sabrina in the bathroom had been part of this aftermath.

“Still,” her mother said. “The time you spent with him was time you could’ve spent practicing! You’re young, Sabrina and ballerinas only perform until they’re thirty-five – if that. You’ll have plenty of time to date later on.”

“I barely even saw him as it was!”

“Maybe I need to cut the hours on your phone again.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Sabrina said tightly. “I need to go.” She stood from the table, chair scraping beneath her. “I told Katie we’d meet to head to a ballet class uptown. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Alright, then.”

Her mom didn’t seem concerned, waving goodbye like one might an acquaintance. Sabrina hovered a moment before hitching her bag to walk past. You realized you were still standing there, gawping at and swiftly sprang into action.

Pushing your way out the door, the bell jingled above you. You saw Sabrina’s head move but left before you could see if she’d noticed your presence. Hurrying down the sidewalk, you pulled your jacket tighter and kept your head down. That hadn’t seemed like a conversation you were meant to overhear.

Also, you weren’t sure what you’d overheard. As your steps began to slow, Sabrina’s comment from earlier in the year began to make sense. She’d relayed her mother’s advice on success – that only a few women ever made it to the top and as such, if Sabrina helped you to succeed, it’d be detrimental to her.

Having now seen Sabrina’s mom in action, you understood where she got this from. At the time, you’d been mad at Sabrina but now, you felt a strange sense of pity. The possibility of Sabrina falling behind had never crossed your mind and yet, it seemed Mr. Vlad had recommended extra classes. This made you think about what Jimin had said. Everyone at Russet was corrected, at some point of another.

At least you had a support system to fall back on, though; Sabrina had nothing. Her so-called friends had fled at the first sign of conflict and her mother didn’t seem interested beyond her ranking in class. This struck you as indescribably sad.

Unfortunately, you didn’t have time to linger upon Sabrina’s situation – as soon as you entered Redfield’s campus, all thoughts of Russet flew from your mind. Redfield University was such a short walk you’re your campus; if you did break up, it would be so awkward to run into Finn later on.

This was something you would’ve considered in high school, but you hadn’t imagined this to be a factor once you went to college. The realization made your heart sink, realizing how distant you’d become despite living so close together.

As you walked under Redfield’s archway, you exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Orange-brown leaves crunched underfoot, seemingly having fallen from trees overnight. As you wound between dorms, you saw only a few people about at this hour. Pulling your bag higher, you hoped Finn would even be at his dorm.

He’d talked about moving off campus a few weeks ago – there wasn’t much space in the city for dorms, so students often moved out after freshman year, or even during their second semester. Maybe Finn would move further away and solve your concerns about running into each other.

Startled, you realized you were thinking about Finn in the past tense. Shaking this thought from mind, you stuffed your hands in your pockets and walked to his dorm. It took longer this time for someone to let you in – it seemed most of Redfield didn’t wake before 10:00 AM – but soon enough, you were climbing the steps to his room.

Your hands trembled as you walked down the hall, the lack of noise oddly suffocating when you stopped at his door. It took you a long moment to knock; several heartbeats you counted out like a watch.

After a second, you heard movement inside.

“Ben?” Finn called out, a bit groggy. “I already told you. I don’t want to get breakfast, I –”

He pulled open the door, revealing the entire room and you froze.

It was difficult to choose what to focus on first. Finn, in his boxers, Madison tugging on jeans, or the unmade bed behind them in the corner. Your gaze darted to each one in turn until, feeling suddenly nauseous, you stumbled backwards.

When he saw it was you, Finn froze in place. As soon as he came to his senses, he stepped into the hall and tried to shut the door, but it was too late. You’d already seen.

Every emotion you’d felt over the past couple of days rose to the surface. All the horror you’d felt, the self-flagellation you’d done – it had all been for nothing.

Suddenly livid, you began to see red.

“No,” you said, pushing past him. Shoving open the door, you glared hard at Madison. “I think I’d rather have this conversation in here. You should leave,” you informed her.

Finn muttered something which sounded like a curse. Madison glanced at him, startled and Finn slowly turned. Wrestling a hand through his hair, he seemed slightly panicked as he nodded at Madison.

“You should probably go, Maddie,” he said.

Hearing him speak, your vision blurred. He’d called Madison ‘Maddie’ in the library, but it suddenly struck you how familiar it was. How casual, how intimate her name sounded on his tongue. Closing your eyes, you forced the image from mind.

It refused to go.

Swallowing hard, you realized you couldn’t do this. You couldn’t have this conversation right now; couldn’t stay any longer.

Opening your eyes, you quickly shook your head. “I have to go,” you said, pushing past him. “Forget it, Finn. We’re done.”

As soon as you left, you bolted for the exit. Heading for the stairs, your blood pounded in your veins and drowned out all thought. You were grateful for this, since if you had time to think rationally, you’d think about Finn and Madison, half-dressed in the dorm.

Slamming open the door to the stairwell, you were halfway across the lobby when the elevator dinged and slid open.

“Y/N, wait!” Finn gasped, running out. He hopped on one foot as he slid on a sneaker. “Please – please, talk to me.”

You continued to walk. “There’s nothing to talk about, Finn.”

“There is,” he insisted, grabbing you by the elbow and turning you to face him.

Roughly, you shrugged him off.

“Please,” he begged, sounding desperate. “Please. I fucked up, Y/N. I fucked up so badly and I’m sorry.”

Freezing in place, you met his gaze.

You honestly couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Finn was asking you to forgive him. He was asking you to forgive him as though he wanted you to stay. He had cheated on you. Finn was an absolute idiot if he thought you’d forgive him after that. If he thought you could trust him after that.

Immediately, your heart sank because you’d cheated on him, as well – maybe not like this, but you’d cheated all the same.

Some of the anger drained from your body.

“What are you sorry about?” you said, turning to face him.

Finn shook his head. “For… that,” he said. “For you having to see that.”

“Are you sorry for sleeping with her?”

He winced. “Yes.”

Releasing a low laugh, you looked away. A strange thought occurred to you, and you remembered Yoongi’s reaction when he’d said the name Madison. It seemed too coincidental for you to have walked in on their first time together.

Still facing away from him, you asked, “How many times?”

Finn paused. He exhaled, sounding pained and you felt your heart stumble.

“Just once,” he whispered. “But… we kissed last weekend. I was really drunk on Halloween and I… apparently, we kissed.”

It hurt more than you thought it would. Like a physical punch to the gut, you imagined Finn with his body on hers, their lips molded together, and his hands tangled her hair.

Swallowing hard, you nodded. “Oh.”

“It was stupid,” Finn insisted, stepping forward. “The kiss on Halloween – I didn’t even remember it until Madison told me on Thursday. She was there when I came back from our fight and asked if I remembered what happened Saturday. I said that I didn’t. She explained what happened, we got to talking and I…”

“I get it,” you said tightly, looking back. “I don’t need a play-by-play.”

“Sorry.”

“I called you, Finn. Multiple times.”

“I know.” Lifting his palms, he rubbed at his eyes. “I know, but when I got your message… I didn’t want to talk anymore. I thought what I wanted was to break up with you and Madison… she was simple, you know? I was hurt, she was there and it just kind of happened.”

His words sounded so crushingly similar to how you’d felt with Jimin. It was like looking at a warped mirror of yourself and this was when you realized nothing about this was normal. The two of you had hurt each other too many times to ever get back.

“Please say something,” he said. “Y/N, please.”

“What do you want me to say?” you said quietly.

“I – I don’t know.”

After a moment, you said, “Do you still love me?”

“Yes,” Finn murmured.

When you made a dismissive noise, his gaze narrowed.

“It’s true,” Finn insisted, stepping closer. “I do love you. That’s what I realized when I woke up this morning. I rolled over and saw her and I just… I knew, Y/N. I’d made the worst mistake of my life. I woke up this morning and knew I didn’t want to break up after all.”

“Don’t… don’t do that,” you exhaled, looking away.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t try and put this back together,” you bit out, eyes flashing. “If it took you sleeping with someone else to make you realize you wanted me, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

Finn was silent for a moment.

“I know,” he said miserably. “I know that you’re right, and I’m sorry.”

The words hung in the air and you couldn’t help it – you ached. The temptation to give in was right there. The temptation to forgive, to forget and let things go back to normal. But when you looked at Finn, you saw her, and you knew this could never be fixed.

“Why?” you said, voicing the first question you thought of.

He blinked. “Why, what?”

“Why her?”

“I…” He looked down. “I don’t know. She was my friend and then… I don’t know. She was there. Maddie listened to me, she paid attention and it felt like you were slipping further away.”

“So… you slept with her because she listened to you?”

Finn groaned and closed his eyes. “I don’t even know why I’m trying to explain. I can’t. I can’t explain this away, it can’t be excused… I’m sorry, Y/N.” Slowly, he shook his head. “So, so sorry.”

After a moment, you looked at the elevator. “Is she still up there?”

Finn opened his eyes and nodded.

“Tell her to go.”

Silently, he pulled out his phone and sent a text. Finn waited for a reply and once he got it, slipped his phone back in his pants.

“She’s taking the stairs down,” he said.

“Then let’s take the elevator.”

While you waited for this to come, you crossed both arms over your chest and stared at the numbers. You weren’t going upstairs because you thought Finn deserved a second chance. If anything, his infidelity made it clear you both wanted out. Your constant hurting each other meant more than the love you’d once shared.

This wasn’t love, anyways.

Hanging onto that ideal would only demolish you further. You were going upstairs because you owed that much to yourself. You deserved more than half-explanations and you weren’t leaving until you got them. You and Finn had been together two years at this point. If you left now and ran away, you’d always wonder what if.

When you entered his room, you came to a stop in the center. Yoongi wasn’t here and you felt a twinge of regret, realizing he’d been trying to tell you something Wednesday. Turning around, you slowly sat on the edge of his futon. This seemed a safer option than his bed.

Finn hovered a few feet away.

“So,” you said, looking up. “You still love me?”

“I do.”

Gently, you closed your eyes. “And you think that’s enough?”

Finn didn’t say anything at first, sensing a trap until at last, you sighed.

“It’s not enough,” you said, opening your eyes. “That’s what I was coming over to tell you. Finn, you haven’t even texted me since our fight on Wednesday. You just ghosted me, and I know – I know I’ve done that to you, too. But that’s the point! We keep hurting one another. Is this really the relationship you want?”

“No,” he said miserably.

“Then, what do you want?”

“What do you expect me to say to that?” he said, sounding frustrated.

“You’re the one who’s saying you love me,” you pointed out. “You’re the one who’s saying this was all a mistake. Do you really want to be together still, Finn?”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit!” You gave a bitter laugh. “Don’t just say the word without knowing what it means. Do you want to be in this relationship, Finn? I don’t mean the idyllic version of us. I mean the messy, right-now version. Do you really want that?”

He stared at you, uncertain. “I just… I want us how we used to be.”

“Don’t you see, though?” you whispered. “We can’t be that. I want that too, Finn, but so much has happened. Not just the cheating, but everything else. All the fighting, all the miscommunication. You have a specific idea of what your girlfriend should be, and I’m not it. Not anymore.”

“I don’t need any of that though,” Finn finally said. He sat beside you on the futon. “I mean, yeah. I’d like to see you more. I want to be with you more. But that’s just it. I want you. I –”

“I kissed Jimin.”

Finn immediately stopped. He stared at you a second, as though struggling to make sense of the words. When you turned and met gaze, you felt your heart break again. This wasn’t how you’d planned on telling him. You had wanted to explain, wanted to ease him into it, but it was clear Finn wouldn’t stop until he knew this was over.

His lips parted, and then his gaze narrowed. “When did this happen?”

“Wednesday.”

“So, after…” He paused, as though calculating. “After our fight.”

“Yeah. After you accused me of cheating with him.”

Finn sat back on the futon, a bit dazed. He stared at the wall for a long moment, then looked your way. “Was our fight… was that the reason…?”

“No,” you said sadly. “Or maybe. I don’t know. There were a lot of things. I was confused and upset, so I went to dance and Jimin was there…”

Trailing off, you heard the words said out loud and knew how similar they sounded to his. You had been upset and Jimin had been there. The main difference was, after Finn had cheated he’d realized he wanted to stay and you’d realized you needed to go.

Glancing at him, you waited for Finn to speak, but he didn’t.

“I was crying,” you whispered. “Jimin saw me and he asked what was wrong. He was being so nice and I just… I kissed him. I don’t know why.”

Finn slowly closed his eyes.

Now, you were the one waiting desperately for him to speak. “Say something.”

He shook his head. “I don’t… don’t know what to say. Do you want to be with him? Is that what this is about?”

“No, I – well, I don’t know.”

He opened his eyes in disbelief. “You don’t know?”

“I wanted to come and talk to you,” you said, a bit frantic. “We haven’t talked since Wednesday and I needed to see what you felt.”

“What I felt?” Finn stared. “I felt like I’d fucked up, but I still loved you and wanted us to be together. Now, you’re telling me you don’t want that.”

“It’s not that I don’t want it. It’s just – how?” you blurted. “Finn, you cheated on me. How am I supposed to trust you after this? How are you supposed to trust me?”

His face crumpled a little. “I don’t know,” he said hoarsely. “And please… don’t say that’s all I seem to be able to say.”

You managed to smile, although this disappeared quickly.

“Guess you know me pretty well,” you said quietly.

Finn sat there and stared at the floor for a moment. “Yeah, I guess I do,” he exhaled. “Which is why I have to say… this thing with Jimin. It’s not just a kiss, is it?”

Slowly, you shook your head.

He closed his eyes. “Right. So… what now?”

“I think you know what now.”

Finn leaned back on the futon. “Were you planning on breaking up with me when you came over this morning?”

“I wanted to talk things out with you, Finn. Things have been so bad lately.”

“So, yes.”

“I honestly didn’t know.” You looked at him helplessly. “But after seeing you with her, it all seemed so clear. Finn, what are we doing? We’ve hurt each other so much and we keep on hurting each other.”

“I know.” Miserably, he looked away. “I just… I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Finn.”

Honestly, you weren’t sure if you loved him anymore but seated on this futon, faced with the prospect of not being together, you couldn’t help but reminisce about the past. All the good times you’d spent, the laughter, the kisses and firsts that you’d shared. Finn had meant so much to you at one point. How your relationship ended didn’t change that.

Slowly, he turned, and you saw his eyes were red. “So, is this…” Choking a little, he swallowed. “Are we…?”

Heart breaking, you leaned in and wrapped your arms around him. Something wet landed on your shoulder and you realized he was crying. Hugging Finn tighter, you buried your face in his chest and felt your eyes start to water.

For a long time, you simply held one another and cried. It felt therapeutic, as though everything had changed but for only this moment, you’d found your way back. For a single moment, you let yourself believe the semester had never happened and none of this pain had ever come between you.

It didn’t work completely.

In the back of your mind, your heart continued to ache. The image of Finn with someone else remained and you couldn’t fully erase it. For a moment though, you let yourself play make-believe.

When you left his dorm hours later, you felt utterly exhausted. Finn had tried to convince you to stay longer, but you’d flatly refused. At some point, you needed to draw the line.

Coming to a stop outside Redfield, you stared at the brick archway and realized you wouldn’t see it again. You were single.

For a word which was supposed to feel freeing, it felt oddly heavy. Turning around, you began to walk in the direction of Russet. It didn’t take long to get there, entering Grace Hall and climbing the steps to your room in a numbed haze.

Noelle took one look at you when you entered and immediately shut her laptop. Dimly, you realized you’d forgotten her coffee. You needed to remember to do that tomorrow. Before you could make it two steps inside though, you felt the tears forming.

“Oh, no babe,” said Noelle, descending her ladder. “Don’t cry!”

As you plopped down on the futon, she joined, rubbing your back while you buried your face in your hands.

“I’m sorry,” you said, choking up a little. “I just – Finn…”

“What happened?”

“We… we broke up.”

“Oh, no, babe.”

“Yeah,” you said, wiping your eyes on your sleeve.

“What happened?”

“I…” You hesitated. “He cheated on me.”

“He what?” Noelle rose from the futon. “That crusty, limp lint ball. I will… I will cut off his balls with a rusty spoon!”

“I also kissed Jimin.”

Startled, she turned. “Oh.” Noelle paused. “Well. I’m still going to cut off Finn’s balls.”

Weakly, you laughed. Taking a deep breath, you found the whole story pouring out of you again. Noelle sat down, listening to you speak and nodding encouragingly. Oddly enough, as you told her everything, the weight on your chest seemed to lighten a little.

You’d thought it would be the opposite. This was one of the main reasons you’d kept things inside you for so long, not bothering to tell anyone what you were going through. The idea of burdening others made you feel guilty but talking to your mom had made you realize some truths about yourself.

It was the same thing with Noelle. Seeing her face when you described walking in on Finn and Madison was enough to reinforce you’d made the right decision. She was so livid when you told her, you needed to tug her back to the futon again.

“Okay, but you only kissed Jimin,” she insisted. “You stopped right away! And you know what Finn did? He avoided you for days, decided you were going to break up and then slept with someone else. He kissed her!” she said, arms flailing. “And thought hm, better go in deeper! God, I hate men.”

It hurt to laugh, but you couldn’t help it. Noelle was right. It was ridiculous when she put it like that. Yes, you’d fucked things up but at least you’d tried to fix it. At least you’d been realistic about what had happened. Finn had messed up and just wanted you to forgive him.

“The worst part was he tried to get me to stay,” you whispered, knees curled into your chest. “That really hurt, you know? It was like he didn’t realize how much he wanted me until he’d had someone else. I couldn’t stop thinking… what about the next time? What if every time things got hard, he ran off and stuck his dick in someone else?”

Although Noelle snorted, she shook her head. “He’s dumb, babe. And immature. Men that age always are.”

“I know,” you said quietly, staring at your knees. “But he was my dumb and immature guy. And now… I just feel kind of empty.”

“Ah, Y/N.”

“I know.” Closing your eyes, you shook your head. “It’s stupid, but I keep thinking about all the small things that’ll be different. Like, Finn loves this one video game and I used to send him memes I found on Twitter all the time. Or we were watching this TV show together and now, I’ll have to watch the next season alone. Or Finn won’t text me good morning, or tell me good night and I just…”

“Hey.” Noelle pulled you closer when you began to cry. “It’s okay, babe. Even if he hurt you, even if it was the right decision to break up – you can still be upset about it. You can still love him. Feelings like that don’t go away overnight.”

Weakly, you nodded. You knew Noelle was right but couldn’t help feeling broken. Everyone said the only thing which healed heartbreak was time. It was the only balm to this kind of pain, but on the first day of your breakup, time seemed like such a cruel concept.

“If it makes you feel better,” Noelle offered. “I’ll watch the TV show with you.”

“You don’t even know what it is.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Weakly, you smiled. “You might end up regretting that.”

“I might,” she agreed, smiling as you pulled away.

Standing up from the futon, Noelle went to your minifridge and opened the freezer compartment. “Fuck weigh-ins,” she said, retrieving your ice cream and grabbing two spoons.

You both dug in, taking a large bite of fudge ripple. The treat tasted like sawdust on your tongue – somehow, you didn’t seem to have an appetite.

“I think you did the right thing, for what it’s worth,” Noelle offered.

“Yeah?” you said, taking another scoop. “Then, why does it suck so much?”

“Love sucks.”

“True.”

“He cheated, babe,” she said, a bit gentler.

“Yeah. I think that’s the worst part, though. I can kind of understand why he did.”

“Oh, no.” Noelle clucked her tongue. “Don’t go down that road.”

Weakly, you smiled. “It’s just… Finn was right. I never had time for him. I didn’t really fit in with his Redfield friends. His schedule always took a backseat to mine and I just… I can understand him not feeling like a priority in my life. What kind of girlfriend does that make me?”

“The strong kind.”

When you looked at her, Noelle seemed deadly serious. Lowering her ice cream spoon, she slowly exhaled.

“You’re a woman with ambition, Y/N,” she said quietly. “I won’t lie, that terrifies a lot of men. A lot of guys want their ego stroked and when their self-esteem can’t be fixed by someone else, they’ll blame you. You’re not a bad person for knowing what you want, though. When you find the right guy, he’ll love that about you.”

Immediately, your eyes watered. It was exactly what you’d needed to hear right now. Leaning forward, you hugged her again and silently thanked Russet Academy for pairing you as roommates.

You stayed awake for a while, ordering a pizza which Noelle forced you to eat. As she put on a movie and you settled into the futon, you thought more about Finn and what Noelle had said.

She was right, you knew. Finn didn’t want the kind of woman you’d become. The kind of woman he wanted wasn’t bad – not inherently. He wanted someone who fit into his life, someone who wasn’t defined by their career. Someone who could leave their job at five and spend time with him after.

It was fine to want those things, but it wasn’t okay to place those things on you. Possibly if you’d realized this earlier, none of this would’ve happened. It was pointless to wonder what-if, though. Before you came to Russet, you hadn’t even known this part of yourself existed.

You and Finn had spent two wonderful years together in high school. That wasn’t something you wanted to forget, but things between you were different now. It would be foolish to stay together while trying to ignore the fact that you both walked on different paths.

Somewhere in the middle of the second movie you dozed off and when you woke, you found Noelle turning off the lights and putting things away. Mumbling good night, you climbed into bed and plugged your phone into the wall.

Finn hadn’t texted, for which you were grateful.

Jimin hadn’t either.

Rolling over, you found you couldn’t think about him right now. There was too much to unpack, especially fresh off your breakup with Finn. You’d said things about Jimin you needed to digest, but you couldn’t afford to do that right now.

Right now, all you could do was start to recover.

By Monday morning, you felt like a zombie. Noelle had done her best to distract you over the weekend, but the looming prospect of Monday drained whatever progress you’d made.

It was the closest you’d ever come to being late to class. The second hand was between 7:59 and 8:00 when you and Noelle entered the room. Setting your things down at the barre, you caught Mr. Vlad’s disapproving gaze before he shut the door.

He began to teach pliés and you found yourself falling into the familiar rhythm. All weekend long, you’d dreaded coming to dance because you knew you’d be distracted. In the past, whenever your personal life had fallen apart, this usually had resulted in mistakes in your professional. Not today.

Today, you let the soothing movement drag you under. The repetitive nature of warm-ups gave a much-needed break to your overworked mind. For the first time in days, your eyes didn’t water for unknown reasons. Overwhelmed with gratitude for the momentary peace, you threw yourself into your exercises at center.

When the time came to find your partner, you spotted Jimin for the first time today. He found you first, winding across the room to stand by your side.

He was silent for a moment, then glanced in your direction. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you said softly.

Jimin’s brow furrowed. He searched your face and seemed about to speak, but then Mr. Vlad began to teach. Falling quiet, Jimin learned the steps alongside you. He didn’t say anything more during adagio, but you caught him occasionally looking from the corner of your eye.

Feebly, you hoped you didn’t look too terrible. This was probably a lost cause, given you’d barely glanced in the mirror before leaving. Not that how you looked was a priority right now. It didn’t even crack the top ten, but you couldn’t help wanting Jimin to see you. Your conversation with Finn had been eye-opening in so many ways.

Not least of all was how you felt about Jimin. Finn had asked if you wanted to date him and you’d replied you didn’t know.

Just a week prior, you would’ve blustered your way through a response. You would’ve said of course, not but you would’ve been lying. Something important existed between you, but along with it came a sinking feeling.

Breaking up with Finn had been the most difficult decision you’d ever made. Everything Noelle had said was right – feelings didn’t disappear overnight, no matter how badly you wanted them to. No matter the pain he’d put you through and no matter the pain you’d caused him.

You had a lot you needed to learn before you began dating someone new. You’d thought you’d known what you wanted before and had been proven wrong. It would be equally foolish to think you knew what you wanted right now.

Besides, you had kissed Jimin while still dating Finn. That was a terrible foundation to a new relationship. Your own words came back to you about trusting Finn. He’d cheated on you with Madison and you knew that if you’d stayed, you would have always wondered if he’d do it again.

Maybe Jimin would always think this about you.

The thought made your chest ache since it could’ve been avoided. If you’d done something differently, if you’d been less stubborn and ended things with Finn earlier, you wouldn’t be feeling this way now.

Such thoughts were pointless though because they weren’t what had happened. It was meaningless to wonder what-if because the point was, you hadn’t. You hadn’t ended things earlier. You hadn’t left when Jimin found you that night. You’d made the choices which made the most sense at the time – or in a moment of weakness – and now, you needed to live with the consequences.

At the end of class, you were packing your things when you felt a shadow fall over your bag. Glancing up, you expected to see Jimin and found Sabrina before you.

Surprised, you sat back. You’d nearly forgotten about the conversation you’d overheard in the cafe but now, it all came rushing back. As you straightened, you caught sight of Jimin as he walked out the door and felt your stomach twist.

You had been hoping to catch Jimin after class to tell him – what, exactly?

You didn’t know what you’d wanted to say. You didn’t know what would be appropriate. Should you say you’d broken up with Finn? You didn’t want to give Jimin any kind of false hope. He should at least know you were sorry, though. You were sorry for kissing him, sorry you’d run away and sorry in general for messing things up so badly.

“Hey, Y/N.” Sabrina adjusted her bag. “Can we talk?”

After a moment, you nodded and zipped your bag shut. “Yeah,” you said as you stood. “Yeah, okay.”

Noelle walked past, hovering when she saw you speaking with Sabrina. Her gaze moved between you. “Are you heading back to the dorm, Y/N?”

“In a second,” you said, managing to smile. “I just need to do something first.”

Noelle nodded, but her gaze lingered before she walked away. You couldn’t blame her for her suspicion. Sabrina had been nothing but rude to you the entire year but now, you had a little more insight as to why.

Somehow, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her. You kept contrasting your last phone call to your mom with the conversation you’d overheard. If Sabrina received that kind of support in her own home, it kind of made sense for her to be the way she was with ballet.

Sabrina turned, leaving the class as you followed. You walked beside her in silence until you reached a secluded part of the hall. Here, Sabrina turned and hesitated when she saw you. The difference was startling; you were so used to the version of Sabrina who was constantly on the defensive.

“Hey,” she repeated.

She didn’t add on, so you arched a brow. “Hey. Don’t take this the wrong way, Sabrina but – what do you want?”

Her upper lip quirked. Just as quickly, her expression smoothed to normalcy. “I thought I saw you on Saturday,” she said bluntly. “Was that you in the coffee shop near Grace?”

You paused, debating whether to lie but deciding it wasn’t worth it.

“Yeah,” you said. “That was me.”

“Did you hear what me and my mom were saying?”

Again, you hesitated but before you could respond, she rolled her eyes. “What am I saying?” Sabrina muttered. “I know you were close enough to overhear.”

Unwittingly, you almost smiled. It was kind of refreshing to hear her speak like this again. Your last interactions had thrown you, making you rethink who Sabrina was. Her bluntness was oddly comforting in its normalcy.

“Well, if you know I overheard, why are you asking?” you shot back. “Look – you don’t need to worry about me telling anyone. I’ll forget what I heard, and we can go back to hating each other. I don’t care about your personal life, Sabrina.”

A flicker of something unknown passed over her face. She nodded, curt and you turned to leave – but then she exhaled.

“Wait,” she said quietly.

Stopping in your tracks, you looked over your shoulder. “What?”

Sabrina made the oddest expression, halfway between regret and disgust. “I wanted to apologize,” she said at last.

Eyes widening, you froze. Seeming to mistake your silence for anger, Sabrina barreled on.

“That’s why I wanted to talk the other day in class,” she admitted. “It’s been bothering me all week what went down on Halloween. I wasn’t in a good place then and I took that out on you. I – I’m sorry about that.”

Finally, you managed to shake yourself free.

“You’re… apologizing? To me?”

“Yes. Listen, this is awkward enough without me having to repeat myself.”

Again, you suppressed a smile. Folding your arms over your chest, you forced a stern expression. “Yeah, well, forgive me if I’m having trouble comprehending,” you said. “You don’t really seem like the apology type.”

“I’m not.”

“Then, why are you now?”

Sabrina exhaled and looked away. “I’m not going to pretend I regret everything that’s happened between us this year,” she said. “Most of it I stand by. But… it wasn’t your fault I snapped at you on Halloween. I was down and I was feeling jealous.”

Your eyes widened. “Jealous? Of me?”

She nodded, then looked back. “I got crappy feedback during the master class and then you came over, inviting me out on Halloween like some pity invitation. I know,” she said, catching your look. “Maybe that’s not what you intended, but that’s what it felt like. And then I was at that party, looking around and… I just realized no one liked me.”

More than anything else, this startled you. You hadn’t seen Sabrina much at the party but hadn’t heard anything negative, so you’d assumed she had a good time.

“I never really thought you’d be worried about something that,” you said cautiously. “Whether people liked you, or not.”

“Most of the time I don’t.” Sabrina paused. “Well. I don’t know. It’s hard,” she admitted, playing with a thread on her bag. “For the most part, I don’t. But sometimes…”

“Sometimes you do,” you finished.

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I know it’s no one’s fault but mine. I’m the one who pushes people away, who refused to help you when you asked. I was the one who left Jimin on read when he said he just wanted to be friends.”

“He… what?” you said, snagging on this thought.

Sabrina rolled her eyes. “You two really need to work through whatever’s going on between you. But anyways,” she continued. “I was going through a lot and… and I just lashed out. You were the one who happened to be closest.”

“That sucks, but… I get it,” you said.

You really could. It was what you did, after all. You’d done the same thing to Jimin after you got bad feedback at Russet. You’d eventually moved past this as a habit, but you couldn’t fault Sabrina for having the same journey as you.

“Seriously, though.” You tilted your head. “Why are you telling me this? It seems very… out of character for you.”

“I know.” Sabrina considered. “Honestly? I’m not sure. It’d be easier not to, but… then you overheard my conversation with my mom.”

Awkward, you shifted your weight. “Ah.”

Again, you thought you understood. It was difficult to reveal vulnerable parts of yourself. Sometimes it was easier when someone else did it for you.

“So,” you said and then paused. “Is your mom… always like that?”

“Like what?”

“So… intense?”

She gave a bitter smile. “That was her being chill.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.” Sabrina shrugged. “She means well, I guess. My mom raised me alone after my dad left when I was young. She’s the top lawyer in the city, so she has firsthand experience on how to get there.” Here, Sabrina hesitated. “I just don’t think it’s always been the happiest road for her.”

“Probably not,” you admitted.

“I always thought that’s what I wanted,” Sabrina said softly. “To be like her, but with dance. At the top of my field, not needing anyone but myself. Now… I don’t know.”

Knowing this put a lot of things in perspective. Sabrina had been raised to believe she could only rely upon herself. It was no wonder she’d turned you down so many times.

“Well,” you said slowly. “I don’t think anything is set in stone, if that makes you feel better. It’s only the first semester, after all. There’s still plenty of time to make friends if that’s what you want.”

“Yeah.” She paused. “Maybe.”

You hesitated, and then nodded. “I appreciate the apology.”

“No problem.”

Glancing away, you wondered if this was all. While it helped to understand where Sabrina was coming from, you couldn’t imagine having sleepovers with her anytime soon. It was nice of her to apologize, but that was only a first step. You didn’t have much in common.

Except that wasn’t true, you realized. You had a lot in common, possibly more than you’d given yourself credit for. You understood more than you wanted about where she was coming from.

Turning back, you met her gaze. “So, Eamon?”

Her eyebrows shot upwards. “You heard that?”

“Kind of,” you said, offering a guilty smile. “What happened there?”

For the first time, a touch of sadness entered her gaze. “It’s a long story,” Sabrina said, and then hesitated.

You considered, then said, “I have time. Are you heading back to Grace Hall?”

Although Sabrina seemed surprised, she nodded, and you turned around. As you fell into step alongside her, you thought about how weird this all was. Returning to the dorm with Sabrina, talking and not being at each other’s throats.

Maybe you wouldn’t ever be friends, but you appreciated her attempt at an apology. You hadn’t realized how exhausting it was to have an enemy. To be constantly directing negative energy at something you couldn’t control – you had to give Sabrina credit because apologizing took courage. Taking a step forward was always an act of bravery.

As you walked, you felt your gut twist and an unknown voice whispered in your ear. It’d take an equal amount of courage to make things right with Jimin. Steeling yourself as you left the building, you determined you would do just that.

One step at a time, you’d move yourself forward.

Sabrina didn’t stay long, just long enough to explain about Eamon. Apparently, they’d been hooking up at the start of the year but had become something serious. Sabrina had broken it off at her mother’s insistence, but they hooked up again shortly before Halloween. When she’d ended things a second time, Eamon had been understandably frustrated.

It seemed clear Sabrina liked him, but you kept that thought to yourself. She’d either realize this on her own, or you’d eventually get to the point where you could give her a reality check. Once she eventually left, you lounged on your bed and scrolled through your phone.

As odd as the encounter with Sabrina had been, it’d taken your mind off Jimin and Finn for a moment. Now, left alone with your thoughts, you had time to overthink all your actions.

On Sunday, Noelle had made you go through your phone and delete all old conversations with Finn, blocking him on social media so he couldn’t reach out. You’d balked at this but eventually given in. Clearly, you were a creature of habit – it made sense to set physical boundaries.

Oddly though, it hadn’t been difficult not to text Finn today. Maybe because you’d been growing apart for so long. There had been multiple weeks since the start of the semester when you and Finn hadn’t even spoken for days.

Rolling over, you opened your photos and released a sigh. Finally, you began the arduous task you’d been dreading. Although you’d blocked Finn on social media, you’d yet to go through your old albums to delete. It had felt somehow wrong, as though you were ridding yourself of memories you one day might want.

Starting at the beginning of the semester, you began to delete. You found one from the night you’d moved into Russet and another from a walk at sunset along the river. There was one of Finn in his dorm room, pulling a stupid face at the camera. You deleted each one with a heavy heart, moving on to the next grouping and pausing.

Your scrolling had brought you to Halloween night. You found several photos of you, Noelle and Irene dressed as the PowerPuff girls. More from the pregame followed, with you playing flip cup and Jasmine cracking up. There were some from the couch and a few from when Hoseok had stolen your phone – when you scrolled to the next one, you froze.

The shot was candid, not taken by you, although you were in it. Paulo had made you laugh, nearly doubling over while you sat on the sofa. Irene and Jasmine were also in the shot, but it was Jimin who made you stop scrolling.

He was in the photo too, also laughing but his gaze remained focused on you. The look he gave you – it made your breath catch. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked at you like that; like they simply enjoyed seeing you happy.

Suddenly, you threw aside your covers and descended your bed. As you tossed on a coat, you hastily checked the mirror before deciding fuck it, and hurrying out the door. Your coat flapped as you walked, trying to zip this up with one hand.

It was only a block to the boy’s dorm, but it might as well have been across the entire city. Your teeth were chattering by the time you arrived, hurrying into the warmth of the lobby. You took the steps two at a time to Jimin’s floor, hurrying down the hall before you could second-guess yourself.

When you finally reached his doorway, you paused.

Eyes closed, you willed yourself to breathe. You could do this. Completely unconvinced by your lukewarm pep talk, you opened your eyes and forced yourself to knock.

You heard movement inside, saw the handle turn and then Hoseok flung open the door. When he met your gaze, his eyes widened. This fact made you wince, since it was obvious Hoseok knew about the kiss between you and Jimin. Either that, or you looked like an absolute mess. Possibly both.

Staring at you, Hoseok made a noise which sounded like, “Argh.”

Before you could respond, Jimin called out.

“Is that Alex?” he groaned, sounding closer. “Did he break the showerhead again? Because I swear to god, if he –”

Jimin stepped into the doorframe, stopping once he saw you. He stared at you for a moment and Hoseok awkwardly eased himself backwards.

“Uh, I forgot I need to go to the store,” he said, grabbing his coat. Shoving his feet into sneakers, Hoseok grabbed keys from a chair. “Just um, need to grab a few things. Ice cream. Condoms. You know, the usual. Bye, guys!” he said, edging around you. “Have fun!”

Hoseok fairly ran down the hall, his coat flapping behind him.

After a moment, you returned to Jimin. He still hadn’t moved, continuing to stare at you from inside his room.

“Hey,” you said weakly, giving a wave.

His gaze hardened.

“Wait,” you blurted, throwing out a hand in case he shut the door. “Please, Jimin. Just let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain, Y/N,” he said, a bit quiet.

“Yes, there is. Can I come in?”

Jimin hesitated, warring with something but finally, he sighed and stepped aside. You nodded your thanks as you passed, stopping inside his room.

It smelled like him. There were the usual dorm smells of plaster and concrete but beneath that was his cologne, his detergent and something unmistakably Jimin. It made your heart clench as you turned around.

Jimin continued to look at you warily.

Seeing him like this tore something within you. It hurt, seeing such blatant mistrust in his gaze. It hurt to stand here and wonder if he was the reason you were single. Deep down, you knew this wasn’t the case, but all the pain mingled and was hard to separate. Looking at him made you feel hurt, yet hopeful; confused, yet still longing.

Broken, you inhaled as you shut your eyes. “Finn and I broke up.”

“You – what?”

You could hear the shock in Jimin’s voice. Shock, confusion – and maybe something else. Something more, which made you long to move closer.

“Yeah,” you continued. “We broke up on Saturday.”

Jimin was quiet for a moment, long enough for you to open your eyes. His expression had softened a little, but not by much. Instead, he cocked his head.

“That’s why you looked so sad in class today,” he said at last.

Apparently, you’d done a worse job of hiding things than you’d thought.

“Yeah,” you said. “That’s why.”

Jimin swallowed and nodded before looking away. He pushed a hand through his hair, leaving several strands ruffled as he lowered his hand. Multiple emotions fled across his expression until at last, he exhaled and looked back.

“How are you?” he said.

It was such a Jimin response, your eyes immediately filled with tears. Of course, with all this between you, his first instinct would be your well-being.

His eyes widened in response. “No – Y/N, no,” Jimin said, rushing forward. Forcing himself to stop, he held himself still. “I didn’t mean to… shit,” he cursed, hanging his head. “Even when I’m mad at you, I just… I don’t want you to be sad, Y/N.”

The simplicity of his statement settled over you, making your heart ache in all its jagged pieces. Jimin was so good. He was so good to you, and you didn’t deserve him.

“Well,” you said with a hiccup. “I’ve been better, but that’s not why I came here.”

“No?”

“I came here to apologize.”

He blinked, but didn’t respond, so you took this as a sign to continue.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” you said in a rush. “I had a boyfriend and no matter how bad things were between us, I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. At the very least, I should’ve stayed when you asked me to talk. I – I’m so sorry, Jimin. Things have gotten so messed up.”

While you were speaking, his expression began to change. No longer did he seem angry, but something within his gaze had changed to uncertainty.

Swallowing hard, Jimin looked away. “It wasn’t your fault, Y/N.”

“No, I –”

“It wasn’t.” He looked back. “I knew you had a boyfriend. I knew it, but it didn’t stop me from feeling something for you. I was the idiot. Of course, the kiss didn’t mean something to you. It wasn’t fair of me to… to expect that from you and –”

“It did, though,” you said, cutting him off.

Jimin paused. “What?”

“The kiss. It meant something to me”

Breathing hitching, he stared at you in confusion. “What are you saying, Y/N?”

“I’m saying kissing you wasn’t about Finn,” you whispered, wrapping both arms around your waist. “I didn’t kiss you because Finn and I were fighting. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Because I’d been wondering for weeks what it would be like. That’s why I kissed you, Jimin.”

Staring at you, his expression turned wondering.

“He was cheating on me,” you said, wanting him to know the whole truth. “That’s what I found when I went to see him on Saturday. My boyfriend was cheating on me.”

At this, his face hardened. “He’s… a fucking idiot,” Jimin said, low and intense. “What was he thinking, cheating on you? I swear, I’ll–”

“I cheated on him too, though.”

Jimin stopped talking.

He stared at you for a moment, and something within him seemed to falter. In that moment, you knew he understood. The kiss had been a mistake. You had been in the wrong and still, you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. Neither of you did.

“That was different,” he said at last.

“Was it?” you said. “I think Finn and I have been drifting apart for a while now. Maybe if I had ended things earlier, things would’ve been better. I don’t know.”

“Maybe,” he allowed. “But you can’t blame yourself for that, Y/N.”

“I think I can a little. I didn’t want to admit we were growing apart. I couldn’t see things were over between us because there wasn’t some big, glaring reason.”

“That’s hard for anyone to do, though.”

“It wasn’t for you,” you pointed out. “You broke up with your ex before college.”

“That was different. We weren’t in love. You loved Finn – or you did at one point.”

Slowly, you nodded. “I did.”

“And now?” The look he gave you was cryptic. “Are you saying things between you are truly over?”

“Yeah,” you said quietly. “Things haven’t worked for a long time. I just didn’t want to see it.”

Jimin stared at you a moment, then his face gradually fell.

“I hate seeing you like this,” he said.

“Like a mess?”

“No. Sad.”

Staring at Jimin, your breath caught in your throat. The way he was looking at you made your heart ache and for a moment, you let yourself imagine a different reality. One where you’d never become enemies and instead, all the passion between you had been put into your friendship. Maybe even more than that.

At some point, Finn had looked at you the way Jimin did now. You just couldn’t remember the last time he had.

Even so, the fact that you’d compared Jimin to Finn in the same sentence was exactly the reason you needed to say what you did next.

“I’m not confessing to you,” you whispered, before you could stop yourself.

His expression flickered. “I didn’t think you were.”

“It’s just…” Trailing off, you shut your eyes. “I’m still hurting, Jimin. I might not be in love with Finn anymore, but I still love him. I don’t want to start a new relationship and have it become a mistake.”

“So. A new relationship would be a mistake?”

“It would be,” you said, opening your eyes. “At least, it would be right now. Finn and I broke up barely two days ago. I’m still hurt and confused and it just… I don’t want to mess anything up by diving into something else.”

Jimin looked at you intently, seeming to understand what you wouldn’t say. You couldn’t be with him until you’d moved on from Finn.

As intense as your feelings for Jimin were, it would be a mistake to start dating right now. The embers of your previous relationship still burned and if you entered something now with Jimin, he would always exist in the shadow of Finn.

If you wanted a chance at happiness – a real chance – you needed to give yourself some time to heal.

“I get it,” Jimin said, however quiet. “You should take your time.”

“Okay,” you said.

You stood there a moment, the silence lengthening between you but not in a bad way. It felt like a new kind of moment – one where you looked at Jimin and for the first time, saw possibilities and not only regrets.

“That’s all I came here to say,” you said softly. “I just wanted to tell you –”

“Y/N?” he said, interrupting.

Blinking, you stopped. “Yeah?”

Meeting your gaze, Jimin kept his own steady. “When you’re ready,” he said quietly. “You’ll tell me. Right?”

Thrown, you stared at him a moment. Finally, you nodded.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “I’ll tell you.”

Jimin smiled. You stood there another moment before realizing there was nothing more to say. You’d apologized and he’d apologized. He knew you were single, but you needed more time. You’d tell him once your heart became available again.

Saying goodbye, you left Jimin’s room and when you entered the hall, you felt completely unburdened for the first time in months. This sadness still lingered, a heaviness in your heart from everything which had happened but for the first time in ages, the future felt open.

As you exited the building, you came to a stop on the sidewalk and took a deep breath. The inky sky above you was full of city light and beyond that, were the stars.

When you inhaled, the air burned your lungs but somehow, this provided the clarity you needed. Winter could be like that. It was painful, withering away dead things, but it also made way for new growth to come.

Smiling faintly to yourself, you began to walk home.

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading 😊 WE ARE ALMOST DONE! Only the Epilogue remains! New chapters of Raise the Barre will be posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

RAISE THE BARRE MASTERLIST

#btsbookclub #bangtanarmynet #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #jimin writing #bts writing #jimin au #jimin series #jimin dance au #bts au #bts series #bts dance au

981 notes · View notes

ckjbun · 3 years

Text

What kind of ability would Higuchi have and its potential name?

Hi to whoever is reading this! This is my first self-written post so I’m still figuring out how all this works and I’m sorry, if it gets a bit chaotic. Anyways, recently, I came across a question regarding Higuchi from Bungou Stray Dogs. It was about what Higuchi’s ability would be called and what type it would be. So I won��t go into details whether she has an ability or not. I believe she has since she is named after an author (and Asagiri himself kinda confirmed it via Twitter). Thus, I just want to write my thoughts on the potential names and kind of ability.

Since abilities in the BSD world are always named after rather well-known works of the authors, I compared some of the famous works of Higuchi Ichiyo. Now mind you, I haven’t read her works myself. I mostly relied on comparing summaries and analyses of them. Since there are not a lot of summaries, I read two lesser-known stories myself. I will add the links of the summaries/analyses of the works down below. However, while comparing I found two works that would fit Higuchi. Now, first what do I mean by “fit”? Well, it might be best to start explaining what I think about the type of Higuchi’s ability.

I believe Higuchi has not an offensive type of ability. Nothing like Atsushi’s, Akutagawa’s, Kyouka’s etc. If she had, I’m sure she would have used it already, since she’s fighting a lot with her guns, why wouldn’t she use her ability as an addition, why would she hide it? There are two possibilities why we haven’t seen her ability yet. First possibility would be that her ability is not visible like Odasaku’s or Ango’s, maybe it’s even an ability that she hasn’t even discovered, just like Fukuzawa hasn’t realized he has one before the ADA. Second would be that she can use her ability only under stringent conditions. And I believe it’s the latter, hear me out.

Remember this scene from Chapter 14? Higuchi reaches out to hold Akutagawa’s hand but then pulls back because she remembered him saying that he doesn’t need her help. Now, you could argue that holding the hands of injured loved ones is a gesture of closeness, a way to show them your support, a way to tell them that you’re staying by their side. And Aku doesn’t want this support, so that’s why she retracted her hand. But something bothers me here. In this scene it looks like Aku slapped Higuchi’s hand away, doesn’t it? And then he says, he doesn’t need her help, instead of support. I know, you could say support and help are almost the same. But to me, help is something that you do more “actively”, while support can be something passive. What if Higuchi’s hand represents this “active” help? And what would actively help Akutagawa in this very moment? A healing ability for example. Coincidentally, in the panel before, Hirotsu asks Higuchi what power she posses to make them [the black lizard] obey. Is this a hint that there is a hint about Higuchi’s ability in the next panel? Maybe. But let’s look at the next panel. It’s the title page of this chapter.

As you can see, Higuchi has a bandage wrapped around her leg and they seem connected to Akutagawa. In this chapter, it is revealed that Higuchi contemplated about leaving the Port Mafia but her reason for staying is implied to be Akutagawa. This is perfectly symbolized by the bandages in this title page. The bandages coming from Akutagawa are holding her leg back, stopping her from walking away from the PM. But maybe there is a second interpretation? If you’re looking at Akutagawa’s left hand, the bandages are starting to come off. What if this means Akutagawa is healing and doesn’t need the bandages anymore? Instead it wraps around Higuchi’s leg, restricting her movement. What if Higuchi’s ability allows her to help someone else (doesn’t have to be necessarily a healing ability) but in exchange she needs to sacrifice something? Anyways, I think she has an ability which allows her to help other people in a non-combat way. With this in mind, I was looking through several works of Higuchi Ichiyo, searching for something that “fits”. Meaning that I was looking for parallels and themes in irl Higuchi’s stories that could be “converted” into an ability. Just like the coat that the protagonist of Rashomon stole in order to now die of hunger was used as Akutagawa’s ability which seems to be able to eat everything, or like the wish that one’s brother does not die in war in Thou Shalt Not Die became Yosano’s ability and serving as a basis of her background story. Anyways, I’d like to present the works that could be used for Higuchi’s ability and draw some parallels.

1. The Thirteen’s Night

The story revolves around a poor woman, called Oseki. Thanks to her marriage to a rich man, her family was able to live a better life and her brother found a job. But on the thirteenth night of the ninth month of the lunar calendar (one of two special nights for moon viewing), Oseki visited her parents with the intention on asking her parents for approval for divorcing her husband. Before entering, she overhears her parents talking about how lucky they are that they have such good children who don’t cause trouble and that they are very thankful for this marriage. Hesitating at first, she finally goes in and admits that she wants to divorce her husband because he abuses her mentally. He insults her constantly and tells her that she's worthless, stupid, and uneducated. Her mother is outraged. But her father, even though he acknowledges her suffering, reminds her what her husband has done for this family and that she would lose her son since women couldn’t get custody of their children after a divorce at that time. Agreeing with her father, Oseki decides to go back to her husband:

“It was selfish of me to think of a divorce. You're right. If I couldn't see Tarō, there'd be no point in living. I might flee my present sorrows, but what kind of future would I have? If I could think of myself as already dead, that would solve everything… Then Tarō would have both his parents with him. It was a foolish idea I had, and I've troubled you with the whole unpleasant business. From tonight I will consider myself dead — a spirit who watches over Tarō. That way I can bear Isamu's cruelty for a hundred years to come.”

– In The Shade of Spring Leaves, translated by Robert Lyons Danly

Just like BSD Higuchi contemplates leaving the PM, the protagonist here wants to leave her husband. The PM is like the husband. It allows her to support herself and probably her family (at least we saw that she has a sister). But there is constant abuse. Akutagawa is clearly the biggest source of abuse that we can see. But it’s not only him. In Chapter 14, Mori asks her if she is really suited for this job. Telling her indirectly that she is useless or that she is too weak for the PM. Later, you can see the Black Lizard doubting her capabilities, even threatening her. But just like Oseki she stays because of a loved one. What really concerns me is Oseki saying that she will consider herself as a dead spirit watching over Tarō. What if Higuchi, in order to use her ability, has to sacrifice part of her lifespan? Or maybe she loses a feeling? Like e.g. she loses the ability to feel happiness, making her a bit more dead inside? If you draw this parallel, you could also say that when ‘consider myself dead’ is the condition of the ability, then ‘watching over Tarō’ is a hint to Higuchi’s ability. An ability that allows her to watch over and protect her loved ones? This theme fits Higuchi perfectly, since a big topic in Higuchi’s story line is how she wants to help and protect Akutagawa. So it makes sense that her ability might be something that would help him (**intensely squinting at the recent events in the manga, especially chapter 88**). Moving on to the second possibility before the pain starts to set in.

2. Takekurabe (literally: "Comparing heights", "Child's Play" in the Robert Lyons Danly translation, "Growing Up" in the Edward Seidensticker translation)

Now this is considered as Higuchi Ichiyo’s masterpiece. So the chances are high that the ability is based on this story. The story accompanies a group of children who live next to the Yoshiwara quarter. There are two rival gangs: the main street gang (’omote-machi’), lead by Shōtarō, a cultivated young boy who is the grandson of the owner of a pawnshop, and the back street gang (’yoko-chō’), lead by Chōkichi, the impulsive firefighter’s son. (Maybe a parallel to the ADA with (cultivated) Fukuzawa and the PM with Mori who’s a doctor which belongs into the same category of occupation as firefighters?). Among the main street gang, there was Midori, popular and pretty, who lives in the brothel where her sister works. Shōtarō probably has a crush on her. But Midori probably has feelings for the other main character, Nobu, the son of a Buddhist priest. Even though he returns her feelings, he distances himself from her out of his self-consciousness. Later he joins the rival gang after repeated request by Chōkichi. Anyways, they spend their days very care-free, attending school, playing with each other after school. One day, some conflict arises between the gangs and Midori, while protecting someone else, gets slapped by Chōkichi with a sandal. He then proceeds to tell her that their gang is backed by no other than Nobu. Midori feels humiliated and stops going to school. Soon she also stops playing with the other children. After some time passed, Midori is seen with her hair all done up. She has become a distant, lady-like young woman. This probably means that she got her first period and is old enough to become a prostitute or that she just had her first client as a courtesan. Little by little, the children grow up. Nobu is sent off to be trained as a priest and Shōtarō has come to accept the responsibilities of his family’s shop.

There are several themes in this story that I’d like to point out, namely unrequited love, Midori’s transformation and underlying unchangeable fates. The first one is obviously a big theme in Higuchi’s story. Midori and Nobu are unable to express their love for each other because of their positions in life. Just like Higuchi is unable to express her feelings for Akutagawa. If you want some hope, AkuHigu shippers, maybe Aku has also feelings for Higuchi but is still very confused and self-conscious about it just like Nobu. Anyways, because of their positions in the PM, it would make everything very complicated if Higuchi confessed. Additionally, Midori feels like she was humiliated by her love when she got slapped by that sandal. I’m sure that Higuchi gets humiliated by Akutagawa a lot. The next theme is Midori’s transformation from a tomboyish to a lady-like, distant woman. We all know Higuchi looks really badass in her suits. But again, look at the title page of chapter 14. Higuchi is dressed up all prettily and lady-like in a dress, and her hair is done all up. Just like Midori after her transformation. Midori’s transformation stands for Midori accepting her occupation as a prostitute even though she doesn’t want to. In this chapter, we see that Higuchi has accepted her job in the PM, even though she doesn’t want to do this job. At the end Shōtarō sings the following:

"Growing up,

she plays among the butterflies

and flowers.

But she turns sixteen,

and all she knows

is work and sorrow."

– In The Shade of Spring Leaves, translated by Robert Lyons Danly

I don’t know about you guys, but to me that necklace that Higuchi is wearing in that title page looks like a butterfly to me. This is really farfetched but maybe this could be a hint about when Higuchi joined the Port Mafia? However, the biggest theme in Takekurabe is the underlying unchangeable fate of the children. Shōtarō was destined to become the next owner of the pawnshop, Nabu was destined to become a Buddhist monk and Midori would become a prostitute. Maybe this gives us some insight into why Higuchi joined the PM? Maybe one of her parents was a PM member? I also like to think that since Aku is in the PM, since she wants to be with him, she can’t but stay in the PM, and this is her fate. Nevertheless, fate is a central theme in Takekurabe. This is the reason why I think, if the ability is based on this story, Higuchi’s ability would be something like changing fates. Changing fate of someone else but in return she must sacrifice something.

Okay, so this post has become quite long. But I still wanted to mention two other stories Yamizakura (Flowers at Dusk) and The Sound of the Koto where I saw a lot of parallels. I just want to briefly tell you the story of The Sound of the Koto. In this story a woman abandons her son in order to leave her husband who has a bad reputation. The husband then turns into an alcoholic and dies later at a party because of alcohol intoxication. The boy becomes hardened to the world, despises his mother for leaving them, and even contemplates suicide. The story shifts then to a woman playing the koto. I want to give you an excerpt for the end of this story:

“On this night the sound of the woman’s playing helped another to be reborn. Through fourteen springs and fourteen autumns, the boy had been buffeted by the rains. His heart had gradually toughened until it had become as hard as stone. No arrow could penetrate it. He seemed destined to follow the example of his father, to die among the fields or in the mountains, where his remains would be bleached by the elements. Some were convinced the boy’s life would end in prison chains, while his bad name spread to every roadside.

But now, at once, the tenderness buried in his heart was freed by the midnight strains of the koto. For the first time in many years, he felt tears come to his eyes. Or were they jewelled drops of dew? He would not exchange them for anything.

He, who had known neither love nor compassion, and who had no idea what the player of these refrains could even look like, felt a moment of happiness as the music drifted over the garden wall. […]

[…] How could a stormy wind blow now? The clouds in his heart had disappeared. Once more the woman began to play. The sound of the koto would be his friend for a hundred years, the seed for a hundred years of yearning. He had entered a world where a hundred different flowers wer in bloom.

– In The Shade of Spring Leaves, translated by Robert Lyons Danly

This boy somehow just reminds me so much of Akutagawa. Just like this boy, without any parents and home, wandering around in this world, Akutagawa has become hardened to the world. I’d like to think that Higuchi’s ability could free Akutagawa from his pain, just like the sound of koto does for this boy.

So, now I said everything I wanted to say, I guess. If there is really anyone reading this and reading this until here, thank you so much! I appreciate it very much that you kept reading even though my thoughts are probably quite chaotic. I’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or weird sentence structures or anything like this. English is not my first language. I’m very happy, if you could point out any mistakes or have any suggestion for improvement. Lastly, I just want to remind you that these are my thoughts, I love discussing so feel free to comment your thoughts but I’d like you to keep in mind that there is not necessarily a wrong or right, theories are theories, interpretations are interpretations. Everyone has another interpretation. They can only be proven wrong by Asagiri sensei himself. Until then just keep the discussions friendly and tolerant towards other people’s thoughts and opinions.

Sources:

All manga panels used in this post are from easygoingscans

Higuchi Ichiyo (樋口一葉)

Higuchi Ichiyo: "In the Shade of Spring Leaves"

In The Shade Of Spring Leaves: The Life Of Higuchi Ichiyo, With Nine Of Her Best Stories, translated by Robert Lyons Danly

In the Shade of Spring Leaves – Ichiyō Higuchi, Part 1

“Flowers at Dusk” and Other Notes – Ichiyō Higuchi, Part 2

“Encounters on a Dark Night” and Other Notes – Ichiyō Higuchi, Part 3

“Child’s Play” and Other Notes – Ichiyō Higuchi, Part 4

HIGUCHI ICHIYŌ: BADASS WOMEN IN JAPANESE HISTORY

The Thirteenth Night (Wikipedia)

Female Subject, Interrupted in Higuchi Ichiyō's "The Thirteenth Night"

GAME OF TRADITIONS: TRADITION IN THE THIRTEENTH NIGHT AND DIARY OF A MAD MAN

HIGUCHI ICHIYŌ IN MODERN JAPANESE AND EUROPEAN DRESS: Modern Japanese versions (gendaigoyaku) of Higuchi Ichiyō’s Takekurabe and their Relationship with English, Castilian Spanish and Catalan Translations

Separate Ways Summary

Literary Analysis of “Separate Ways”

Flowers at Dusk

Nigorie (Wikipedia)

From the Margins of Meiji Society: Space and Gender in Higuchi Ichiyō's "Troubled Waters"

426 notes · View notes

psychicdreamfriendoperator · 3 years

Note

may I ask for headcanons on how the Shishigumi would deal with falling for someone from one of the rival gangs in the BAM? thank you!

Hope this is what you meant haha!

— Psychic

General Headcanons

While it's discouraged, members of other gangs hook up all the time.

The secret is to not be caught.

Ibuki

He has great pride in being part of the Shishigumi.

That pride extends to his sexual and romantic life- he isn't entirely opposed to dating someone from a rival gang.

However, he wouldn't go out of his way to do so, either.

He reflects on himself fairly often— during one of his reflections, he may decide to see where a relationship with a rival gang member will take him.

While he doesn't doubt that the Inner Circle will be supportive (or at least, ambivalent about everything), he goes out of his way to keep everything under wraps.

Neither of you expect the relationship to last for too long ... but that won't stop either of you from enjoying the ride.

Dolph

Similar to Ibuki in that he has a great pride in both himself, and the Shishigumi.

However, unlike Ibuki, Dolph is far more flexible with that pride.

He doesn't sleep around much, nor does he have more than one partner at a time.

As criminal as his lifestyle is, Dolph is very much a gentleman . . . a very gruff gentleman, anyways.

His serious personality can prove stifling— in other words, he's a bit of a stick-in-the-mud.

He ultimately doesn't care who knows about his relationship, but he won’t take any chances, either.

The less people that know of his relationship, the better.

Free

He hooks up with anything that moves, really.

He does have standards of course . . . but they're limbo dancing with the Devil in Hell.

To his credit, he has more or less stopped dating more than one person at once.

It's not good to cheat on your partner, but this is especially important when your partner is part of a gang.

Offend a high ranking member of one of the larger gangs, and you risk sparking a war.

He isn't open about his relationship, but at the same thing, he won't hide anything.

He may seem laid-back, but even Free knows when to separate life in a syndicate from sex and pleasure.

Agata

He’s the most eager, yet also the most hesitant.

He's young, and it's certainly not uncommon for most animals his age to have gathered sexual experience.

On the other hand, he's the youngest member of the Shishigumi.

He feels as if he has to prove that he's “useful” 24/7, 365 days a years or risk getting kicked out for not pulling his own weight— this is what makes him hesitant to date any of the gang's rivals.

If he does do it, he moves in absolute secrecy. Ironically enough, this only leads to the other lions growing increasingly suspicious.

Imagine his surprise when the other lions don't give a damn about his sex life, or express surprise that he hasn't been sleeping around more!

Hino

Hino has no shortage of animals at his disposal ... though, his relationships tend to be short-lived flings.

He breaks them off under the pretense of it being “bad for business”.

It's little different for relationships wherein his partner is in a gang; they enjoy each other’s company for a few weeks, and then, Hino breaks it off.

He’ll be open to a relationship, but he won't go looking for one; bonus points if his partner is low maintenance.

Others have taken Hino’s tiredness as disinterest in not only them, but in the relationship itself.

He has trouble sleeping sometimes, so it helps to have a lover who is understanding of that fact.

Dope

Like Hino, he’s open to a relationship, but he won't advertise it— that's asking for trouble.

He knows what type of animals the BAM’s gangs attract, and as a result, he’s very hesitant with dating around.

He's part of the Shishigumi’s inner circle, so he must keep his guard up as well.

At first, he will be very suspicious of his partner, but as time goes on, he relaxes a bit more.

Not completely, but a reasonable amount.

You can't ever put your guard down in the Black Market; no amount of talking will save you from a bullet through the skull, after all.

Miguel

He dates around often, but he is nowhere near Free’s level.

Don't be surprised if he flaunts his high status in the Shishigumi. Unlike other animals, he has the strength to back up his boasting.

He has given up trying to hold a stable relationship.

He would rather not have a partner.

He knows that his line of work is dangerous and risky; not just for him, but for a lover as well.

With he and his partner being established criminals . . . well, that gives Miguel a bit more peace of mind.

It means that his other half can protect themselves.

Jinma

He doesn't date around at all; as a result, his partner was probably the one to instigate the relationship.

Jinma is more or less the Shishigumi’s head informant— he knows all about the BAM, and his knowledge extends to its inhabitants, too.

His partner shouldn't be surprised to see a dossier filled with information about them, and the syndicate they are part of.

Don't doubt the influence he’s built up in the Black Market.

He doesn't ever truly drop his guard . . . it's nothing personal, honestly. Life in the BAM isn't the best, and you need to prioritize your own survival.

Still, Jinma will use his various intelligence networks to ensure his partner's safety.

Sabu

He's getting on in his years, now.

He doesn't have an interest in chasing after women, men or other animals.

Perhaps then, he meets another, middle-aged animal he can bond with.

Not many animals survive to their 40th birthday in the Black Market— even moreso if they are in a syndicate.

He's a member of the Shishigumi through and through, so, he may not be willing to commit to a full relationship at first.

If he does commit, don't expect Sabu to be at his partner's every beck and call.

He will, however, be there if his lover needs him.

Contrary to what others may believe, Sabu knows how to treat a loved one right.

This doesn't mean that he will hold back should the Shishigumi and his partner's gang fight.

He will, however, take the time to check up on his partner after.

It isn't the best arrangement, but this is what a criminal life in the Market leads to.

#beastars #beastars shishigumi #beastars headcanons #beastars imagines #beastarsxreader #beastars x reader #ask #beastars ibuki #beastars dolph #beastars free #beastars agata #beastars hino #beastars dope #beastars miguel #beastars jinma #beastars sabu

98 notes · View notes

robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Note

Hi! I really love your writing and was wondering if you would do a part 2 of the fic you did for @kitsunesongs birthday?

The one where Nie Huaisang meets Xiao Xingchen and "persuades" him to go to the Nie Sect.

sequel to this one

Xiao Xingchen and Nie Mingjue got along just as disgustingly well as Nie Huaisang might have predicted, and it was starting to tick him off.

Not just him.

“It’ll pass,” he remarked to the glowering young man sitting beside him. “It always does…eventually. Xiao Xingchen is no different.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Song Zichen said, voice tight and back even tighter. The temples and the sects were not on what one might call the best of terms – it was politely referred to as tensions – so Song Zichen had refused to even consider leaving Xiao Xingchen in Nie Huaisang’s not-so-capable hands, but he also wasn’t strong enough to stop him, so all it meant in the end was that he had to trail along with them like an imprinted duckling.

A duckling with no sense of humor.

“They all come and get knocked over the head with it,” Nie Huaisang said with a sigh, fanning himself. He’d seen it happen time and time again. “My brother, I mean.”

“Your brother…hits people?” Song Zichen said, sounding doubtful enough for Nie Huaisang to realize that even he’d fallen for it.

“No,” he said patiently. “They’re overwhelmed by admiration for how good of a big brother he is and want him for their own.”

Song Zichen’s expression appeared to be at war with itself: he couldn’t decide whether to scoff at Nie Huaisang’s patent ridiculousness, furiously deny that Xiao Xingchen was attempting to market himself for possible adoption, or sullenly acknowledge that he, too, would like to be the recipient of Nie Mingjue’s rough sort of affection.

It was all those meaningful hand-on-shoulder, serious eye-contact, respect-is-given-where-it-is-earned-and-I-respect-you things Nie Mingjue did without thinking about it – possibly it was just the dearth of decent parents among the Great Sects, and the smaller sects too come to think about it, but everyone was hilariously susceptible to it.

(He’d accidentally done it to Lan Qiren once, making the man actually glow with pride for a moment before he realized he was being complimented by someone at least a decade his junior and fixed his expression. It was a memory that warmed Nie Huaisang’s heart.)

“Still,” Nie Huaisang mused. “I will admit that this is getting out of hand.”

He’d known that Nie Mingjue would be fond of Xiao Xingchen, but he hadn’t anticipated how much his brother had apparently been longing for someone with whom he could have ethical and moral discussions that didn’t leave him scowling and looking sick to his stomach. The two of them shared a clear and forthright vision of the world – in which people were supposed to help others, fight evil and save innocents, and that everything else was a distraction – and what started out, to Nie Huaisang’s mind, as some sort of moral purist fan club had eventually sort of…escalated.

It wasn’t that Nie Huaisang forgot that his brother was a powerful sect leader and formerly the general of the combined forces of the cultivation world and therefore was a terrifying political powerhouse to be reckoned with, not really. It was that his brother so rarely ever did anything with his power and influence that it was easier to just…put it aside.

On a normal day, his brother was a simple person: he wanted his family and sect to be happy and safe and strong, the common people protected, and evil defeated – ideally courtesy of his blood-thirsty saber, after a brisk bit of exercise. Nie Mingjue was respectful of others, such that he rarely intervened where he wasn’t explicitly invited, and so his focus had always been Qinghe, its environs, and the surrounding sects that pledged their loyalty in exchange for Nie support and strength.

Xiao Xingchen had more ambitious ideas than that.

Maybe he should have done more to head off their enthusiasm before it got this far, Nie Huaisang grumbled in his thoughts. But his brother seemed so happy, lighter than he’d been in years, less angry at everything – and his sudden burst of activity was driving Sect Leader Jin up the wall, and that was just legitimately hilarious.

Still, it was one thing for Xiao Xingchen to say that he wanted to protect innocents and defeat evil, no matter where it was. In the end, he was a naïve and untried young man unfamiliar with the world, no matter how powerful his ancestry, and such things would always be met with indulgent smiles and virtually no interest, everyone assuming it was little more than a child’s daydream.

It was something completely different for Nie Mingjue, Chifeng-zun and Sect Leader to one of the Great Sects, to put out a call for all able-bodied cultivators with courage and skill to join together once more to sweep through the worst parts of the cultivation world and clean it up together.

After all, Lan Xichen might win the women’s vote, but among men, at least, Nie Mingjue was the most admired man in the cultivation world, bar none, the most idolized and revered and envied, and he was offering an opportunity to win valor by his side. Those who had fought in the Sunshot Campaign were enticed by the notion of something clean and straightforward, cultivator against evil the way it was supposed to be; those that didn’t have a chance to win glory the last time were champing at the bit to belatedly add “fought under Chifeng-zun’s command” to their personal legacies; those who had been too young for the war were excited by the possibility of fame and fortune…

Sect Leader Jin, who was advocating to be Chief Cultivator of the cultivation world, did not want there to be a roving war-bad of powerful cultivators under his chief-most rival’s personal command, traveling throughout the cultivation world and making friends with each other and winning fame left and right with only Nie Mingjue to thank for it.

Sadly for him, there really wasn’t anything he could do about it.

Especially not now that Nie Mingjue was no longer asking Jin Guangyao to come play for him so regularly.

The playing had been designed to help with his ever-worsening temper, if Nie Huaisang understood his brother’s curt explanation properly, but it hadn’t really been doing much, and Nie Mingjue was far too busy now to waste time with things like that.

(Nie Huaisang did not think about how his father had died, and how much stronger his brother was than his father had ever become. He did not think about the fact that Xiao Xingchen was said to be doomed, the way his brother was doomed, or the fact that his brother’s decision to stop listening to Jin Guangyao’s playing or Lan Xichen’s encouragement of it had come on the heels of meeting someone else who was trading away their chances at a long and happy life for a chance to try to improve the world.

He did not think about any of that, or of the slow halting explanation his brother had finally given him about all the things he knew-but-didn’t-know about his sect’s cultivation style, about his brother’s own personal prognosis, and he certainly didn’t think about how his brother clearly saw this whole ridiculous notion of a massive large-scale night-hunt as his final campaign, his legacy, to be left behind when he himself left the world.

It wasn’t relevant, because it wasn’t going to happen, Nie Huaisang wasn’t going to let it happen. So he wasn’t thinking about it.)

“It’s a good plan,” Song Zichen said, and Nie Huaisang looked at him. “I had wanted to start a sect with no bloodline, based only on friendship, but Xingchen and your brother are putting together a coalition of sects that is much the same thing. All of those young men becoming brothers in arms…”

“Women, too,” Nie Huaisang said, because it was true. There’d be plenty of unexpected marriages formed before this whole thing was done – Jiang Cheng had recently declared his intention of joining, the nephew he’d insisted on caring for personally carted around on a sling on his back, and he looked so positively dashing when he did it that the women of the cultivation world might even consider removing him from their blacklist one day.

Maybe.

Song Zichen nodded seriously. “Women as well. Regardless, the end result of what they are achieving is the same - unity, friendship, cooperation, rather than chaos.”

Nie Huaisang smiled. And then, because why not, he used the excuse to slide closer and nudge Song Zichen in the side with a hand that lingered. “Don’t count yourself out, Song-xiong. You’re contributing, too.”

Song Zichen did not appear convinced.

“You are!” Nie Huaisang insisted. “You just need to figure out what you’re good at – some purpose for yourself, some mission, or even just something to pass the time pleasantly. I’ll even help.”

He was about to suggest that they go to bed together – listen, he was shallow and Song Zichen was a very pretty person – but Song Zichen frowned, ducking his head a little in thought.

“Well, there is something,” he said slowly. “I thought, if it was true, that I might go deal with it. Although it’s only a rumor I heard…”

“I love rumors,” Nie Huaisang assured him, shelving his proposition for the moment. “What is it?”

“Have you ever heard of someone,” Song Zichen asked, “by the name of Xue Yang?”

#mdzs #nie huaisang #song lan #nie mingjue #xiao xingchen #my fic #my fics #disaster incoming #Anonymous

165 notes · View notes

themaribatpit · 3 years

Text

Jasonette July Day 20: Then Perish

Written by: The Maribat Pit @jasonette-july-event Prompt: Then Perish (Part 1) Rating: M (violence, minor character deaths) A/N: We wanted to finish Jasonette July with a bang. The second half will be posted tomorrow for the Saturday Challenge. We’ve appreciated all your comments and kind words, we really do read every one. It genuinely means a lot to us and encourages us to continue writing together. As a fandom you have been nothing but kind and supportive, and we enjoy bringing you fics great and small with a wide variety of genres, dynamics, and iterations. Also blame DC fanboy for the memes in this fic. Marinette loved to travel, she had traveled all over the world from New York to Shanghai. Today, she traveled with her parents to Gotham City to visit her parents' friends, whom they had not seen in many years. Sabine was initially afraid to visit Gotham City, due to its crime rate and ever-growing list of criminals. Tom reassured his wife, saying that his big stature would scare any would-be criminal from harming them, that the trip would be short and they would visit Metropolis afterwards. Marinette wore the Ladybug Miraculous, just in case something were to happen. As the family got off the taxi at Park Row, everyone felt something was off. "Park Row really has...changed." Thomas muttered. Sabine held on to both her husband and her daughter, "I think we should leave." she said. Soon shadows began appearing around the corner, then came the yelling, and soon after came the gunshots. Thomas grabbed his wife and daughter and ran to find shelter from a hail of bullets. Marinette looked back to see many civilians, men, women and children caught in the middle of this gang war. She needed to be a hero, her father could take care of her mother, she needed to save those in danger. She freed herself from her father's grasp and ran behind a corner, she whispered "spots on" and transformed into Ladybug. Diving and flipping across streaking bullets everywhere, she flung her yo-yo to drag any unfortunate bystanders into an abandoned building. While in a building with innocent civilians, she peeked her head out the window to see a monstrous man. Wearing a blood red helmet and wielding two pistols, he systematically killed everyone before him. His flips and kicks were graceful yet brutal, the cries of pain and pleas for mercy made her shudder. She couldn't fight him, no, she was afraid to. It would be best to find her family, she did all she could and got bystanders to safety. She quietly transformed back into Marinette and went to look for her family. She ran back to where she last saw them, she scoured the streets shouting "Maman! Papa!" hoping that using her French would help her parents find and identify her. She soon ran into the Red Beast, as she began to turn and run back before she saw the two people at his feet. “<No, no no no, please god no.>” she whispered to herself, tears building in her eyes. There lay her parents, in a pool of their blood with bullet holes between their eyes. Marinette dropped to her knees, silently crying. The Red Hood either didn't see her, or chose to spare her and decided to walk away. Marinette ran to her parents, grabbing them both and shaking them. "<Don’t leave me, please don’t leave me>” she wept. Later, she was picked up by the GCPD. They escorted her on the flight back to Paris along with the remains of her parents. When she arrived, she was approached by the Aide Sociale à L'enfance (ASE). They told her that she'll be staying at a nearby orphanage until after her parents' funeral. Then she would then be sent off to live with her only remaining relative, her Great-Uncle Wang in Shanghai. On the night before the funeral, Marinette was unable to sleep. She curled her legs to her chest while she sat on the mattress. She has spent the past few days researching the mysterious Red Hood, crime boss and self-proclaimed Prince of Gotham. She read article after article of his meteoric rise to power, first conquering Black Mask, then The Penguin. Nightmares plagued her whenever she closed her eyes, she saw the Red Hood tower over her parent's lifeless bodies, covered in their blood. She was worried about being sent off to a foreign country tomorrow evening, while barely even speaking any Mandarin. All the while knowing that once she is on that flight to Shanghai, her parent's killer would without a doubt walk free. Morning comes, yet Marinette still thinks of what she should do. Could she really go to Shanghai to start her life anew, not knowing the language and allowing her parents’ killer to go on unpunished? At the funeral, while standing over her parents’ graves, she remained silent. The priest, ASE agents and her friends all came to pay their respects. Each of her friends approached her to give their sympathies, but she did not listen to a word they said. The Red Hood weighed heavily on her mind, and she made her fateful decision. To run, run and never look back. She had prepared a backpack containing the Miracle box with all the Miraculous, along with a few essential supplies and money. She turned into Multimouse to sneak on board a passenger aircraft to make her way to Gotham City. Jason knew, better than Batman, that fighting crime sometimes meant getting your hands dirty. What started as a petty squabble between two rival gangs grew into a bloodbath. He missed Roy at times like these, Artemis and Bizarro were still missing, but he held out hope that they would one day return to this Earth. A teenage girl with an impressively sturdy yo-yo had burst onto the scene, trying to get civilians to safety. He was a bit too preoccupied with the battle to get a good look at the girl. Knowing Bruce, the next time he’d see her, she’d be under his wing. Sadly, there were two civilians that neither of them could save, a large, burly looking man and a tiny woman. The person who shot them with frightening accuracy had got away, moments later a teenage girl had arrived on the scene. There was a brief flash of fear in her eyes when she saw him, and she would have just scurried away if only he hadn’t been at the very spot where her parents lay dead. The girl was inconsolable as she fell to her knees and wept, pleading with them in French. Red Hood walked away, thinking it would be best to leave her to grieve. There wasn’t a whole lot he could say in English that would make her feel any better, never mind in French. He watched from a distance as the GCPD arrived to pick up the pieces, Red Hood watched from the shadows as police officers and an interpreter tried to get the girl’s side of the story. From what he gathered, the girl’s name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng and her family owned a bakery in Paris. Her next of kin was a relative in Shanghai, and it sounded like the best option for her would be to go and live there. The plan was to ship her and her parents’ bodies back to Paris, and let child services take it from there. He would have probably told her to get as far away from Gotham as possible, away from the clutches of a certain someone who was also orphaned in Crime Alley. He saw her cradle what looked like a small pink doll to her face as she wept, before he turned and walked away. A week later, Jason had a break in the case. This was all caused by some low-level members of the Falcone and Maroni families continuing their decades-old battle. As far as everyone knew, the crime families swiftly executed the men responsible and went about their business. Two crime families were unable to keep their lackeys in check, and now the people who weren’t lucky enough to be whisked away by Yo-Yo Girl, were now either dead or wishing they were. He thought back to poor little Marinette, wondering where she was now. Bruce confronted him at the Iceberg lounge shortly after the incident, to which Jason explained that the perp had got away. He had killed people before, and that wasn’t stopping anytime soon, after all it wasn’t that long ago that he tried to kill the Penguin. “This may surprise you Bruce, but the Red Hood isn’t the only one who uses guns in Gotham '' he snapped. There were some lines that even he did not cross, lines that he had drawn for himself. Judging by the accuracy of the gunshots, this was no accident. Their daughter was probably starting a new life, probably on the other side of the world. Still, he wished he could have said something to the girl, a simple “Hey, it’s gonna be all right” probably would have sufficed. Little did he know that Marinette was making her return to Gotham City. She would have her revenge on the Red Hood, and this time she had nothing to fear and nothing to lose. After her very uncomfortable 10 hour flight from Paris to Gotham City in the cargo hold, Multimouse quietly sneaked out of the crowded airport without alerting anyone. Marinette wandered around Chinatown, thinking of her next step. She was thinking about how she would have to go through the city with a fine tooth comb to search for a lead, likely starting small with his men in the streets. Before she could put the earrings back in her backpack, Tikki begged her to reconsider what she was doing. “Please Marinette, you need time to heal, to grieve,” she pleaded, but Marinette didn’t need the powers of healing, luck and creation. If and when she encountered the Red Hood, she wanted to bring him death, misfortune and destruction. After all, that was exactly what he had brought her. With a stroke of luck, she overheard someone getting a beatdown. "You get your ass outta here, this is Red Hood's turf. If you wanna sell that shit, you gotta give the boss his cut." Marinette whispered "Plagg, claws out" and transformed into Lady Noire, before sneaking up behind one of the Red Hood’s men. He released the person he was beating, and chased him out the alleyway. She took this opportunity to swing her staff, hitting the back of his neck and sending him face first into the ground. He immediately tried to stand up, as he stood on wobbly legs he took out his knife from his jacket. "Oh shit, Catwoman?!" he yelled. Lady Noire used her staff to sweep him off his feet and slammed her staff onto his face. "Where is the Red Hood?" she growled. "Screw you bitch!" the goon retorted. Lady Noire had a feeling that he wouldn’t tell her the location of the Red Hood, so she decided to try a different approach. "Fine then, why don't you give your boss this simple message…" Before she could finish her sentence, she heard the telltale click of a gun being loaded. She turned around and started spinning her staff, creating a grey shield to deflect the storm of bullets that were being fired at her. She moved her hands at a rapid pace, and frantically pushed back against the hail of bullets. As the bullet storm subsided she looked up and saw, up on the fire escape, was the Red Hood with an assault rifle. The Red Hood casually tossed his gun aside and asked "So, what's this message you have for me, Catwoman?" He gracefully did a forward flip and landed in a crouch. "Wait a minute..." he said, the first thing he noticed was that this person was tiny, 4’11 or maybe 5’ on a good day. Her eyes were a bright acid green with dark slits like a real cat’s pupils. "You're not Catwoman, you're too short to be her, for one thing.” he remarked “also she usually has a whip instead of a staff, who are you?" Lady Noire gritted her teeth, "You killed my family" she answered with a low growl. "Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down Kitten?" Red Hood's taunts made her snap. She screamed "YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!" The Red Hood stared at her, as he crossed his arms. "I don't even know who you are, what's your beef with me?" He asked, Lady Noire lunged at the Red Hood with her staff, she swung wildly to try and hit him. He dodged most of her strikes with ease, “Is that the best you’ve got? You’re gonna have to try harder than that.” Where she might have lacked in skill, she made up for in determination. She wasn’t pulling any punches, he had to give her that. He caught the staff under his arm, and punched Lady Noire with his free arm. As he went on the offensive, he slapped her staff aside, and came at her with a series of punches and kicks. “So, what do you want Kitten? Money? Jewels? A very big ball of string?” he joked. “All I want is revenge,” she spluttered. “Get in line Kitten, you’re in the city that runs on vengeance” he retorted. Marinette was lucky that the suit gave her enhanced speed, strength and endurance. She always loved how the Lady Noire suit felt a lot lighter compared to the Ladybug suit. Though she shuddered to imagine what her opponent would do with this power. He raised his leg to end his combination with a forceful downward kick, Lady Noire raised her staff up to a horizontal block to stop the kick. Upon contact with the kick, the staff split into two, and then Lady Noire launched into her counter attack. She was striking the Red Hood with a flurry of blows with both halves of her staff. "Escrima sticks too? Looks like we have a Nightwing fan here” he smirked under the mask; this new girl was just full of surprises. He brought his arms to the sides of his head in a defensive posture, blocking the onslaught of strikes from the escrima sticks. Red Hood then grabbed Lady Noire by the back of her head, placing her in a Thai clinch. He launched a powerful knee to her face and sent her reeling back. He drew his pistols and fired a torrent of bullets at her. Lady Noire had to dodge, weave and use her staff to deflect incoming bullets. One bullet even grazed her cheek. She then pointed her staff at the Red Hood and extended it with so much force it slammed him against the wall of a nearby building. Without giving him any breathing room, she then retracted the staff. She launched herself towards him and then dropkicked his face straight into the wall. His helmet cracked against the tremendous pressure. "It's now or never” she thought, as she cast Cataclysm and swiped at one half of the Red Hood’s helmet. She saw the helmet dissolve and reveal the target beneath. She noticed that underneath the helmet he wore a red domino mask, not unlike the one she usually wore. She would have time to think about how overly dramatic that was later, as she used her other hand to pick up the knife on the ground that the other goon left behind. She jumped on top of the Red Hood, “Now perish!” she cried out as she thrusted the blade towards the exposed part of his face. Red Hood recovered quickly and caught her hand holding the blade. As the two struggled for the knife, Lady Noire tried to swipe at him with Cataclysm again. Suddenly, she felt the power of 50,000 volts coursing through her, as the Red Hood activated the taser hidden in his chest piece. She powered through, running purely on anger, grief and adrenaline. She was only able to struggle for about a minute, before passing out from the pain. Red Hood flipped Lady Noire’s unconscious body aside, before he took off his helmet to inspect the damage. "The hell?." he pondered, "So, indestructible staff that can do double duty as a shield, and the ability to disintegrate things with one touch. Let's find out who you really are." He slowly stood up and looked down at her unconscious body. He tried to peel away her domino mask, yet it would not come off. He tugged on the mask, even to the point of lifting the unconscious girl off the ground. He released the mask, and let the body drop with a small thud. The Red Hood began talking to himself "She either superglued the mask on or it’s something else. Considering all that she can do, I'd say 80% chance it's magic and 20% a lantern. Either way a 100% pain in my ass". He heard a small beeping noise and gingerly lifted her hand up off the floor. As it emitted black and green energy, he noticed that she had a ring on. The beeping came from a small picture of a paw print, which was missing a few pads. If she was a lantern, that ring was going to run out of charge any moment now. He took out his phone and called the Iceberg Lounge. He requested that they send for a van to pick him up and his new guest. He requested that the Su Sisters get her cleaned up and ready. He needed to find out who sent her and who she worked for. He took out the special handcuffs that Batman designed when dealing with metahumans. As he walked towards Lady Noire about to cuff her, he heard some more beeping, followed by a bright light surrounding her. Her suit and mask disappeared, leaving behind a small girl in pastel pink clothes who was probably no older than 15 or 16. Her long braid changed back into a couple of shoulder-length pigtails, and she had a pink backpack on her back. Jason looked inside the bag, there were a few sets of clothes, a wallet and an antique Chinese jewelry box. He wondered if that ring was just one of many tools in her arsenal. Jason's eyes widened, he recognised her as the girl he saw a few weeks ago when the turf war in Crime Alley broke out. "What’s she doing here?" he said to himself aloud, “ Idiot” he muttered. He remembered following the girl and her GCPD escort to make sure she boarded her flight back to Paris. She was supposed to be with her remaining family. Yet she came back to, no, ran away to Gotham City. All for revenge. He checked her wallet and saw the name printed on it, he sighed, this just confirmed that she was the same girl. When she had her revenge, what would she do then? He wasn’t the undisputed master of thinking things through, but even he thought she was a fool to come back here. Gotham City didn’t have the best track record dealing with orphans. He knew this from personal experience, but there was that time where many were rounded up and sent upstate to juvie, for the crime of trying to survive on the streets. He would have been in the same position, had it not been for his own fateful encounter in Crime Alley. He shuddered to think what her other option would be in a place like Gotham City, becoming a Robin. Part of the reason he wanted her out of Gotham was so that Bruce wouldn’t get any ideas about taking her in. When the car arrived, he scooped up the girl in his arms and carried her towards it. Marinette woke up with her heart beating frantically in her chest, the first thing she saw was a bright light. She was dead, she had to be, the last thing she remembered was confronting the Red Hood and now he had killed her. She slowly sat up, she looked down to find that someone had changed her clothes, she was wearing light blue pajamas. She started to look around, to her left there was a large floor to ceiling window where she could see a city at night with bright twinkling lights. On the table next to her was the Miracle box, she quickly grabbed the box and looked through it. She gave a sigh of relief when she saw that all the Miraculous she brought with her were still there. Suddenly, Marinette heard someone clear their throat. At the foot of the bed, stood a rather large woman who had a bundle of clothes in her hand. Next to her was a blonde woman with pink highlights who had a tray of food. “Oh good, you’re finally awake” the large woman said gruffly, she set the clothes down on the edge of the bed. The blonde girl set a tea tray down in front of her, along with a couple of pastries. Marinette’s heart sank at the sight of the croissants, they reminded her of her parents and their bakery. “Eat up and get dressed, the boss wants to see you later” the blonde woman told her, before skipping to the larger woman’s side. Just as the two were about to leave, Marinette piped up, “Um, where am I?” she asked, “Who is your boss?” “You’re in the Iceberg Lounge in Gotham City”, the large woman told her gruffly. “The name’s Suzie, this is one of my sisters, Candy. Our boss is the owner.” Marinette gave an awkward wave as they left, and Candy returned it with a more cheerful one. She took a bite out of the croissant, it tasted cold and dry. However, if she was going to defeat the Red Hood, she’d need all her strength. She put Plagg’s ring back in the box and reached for Ladybug’s earrings; she needed a new tactic. When Tikki appeared in front of her, she also quickly looked around the room before looking back at Marinette with a concerned look on her face. “I couldn’t do it,” Marinette explained “he managed to stop me and I ended up back here”. Tikki’s eyes were sympathetic as Marinette held her closer to her face, “Are you sure you still want to go through with this?” Tikki asked. “For now, I have to get changed and go upstairs to meet the boss. Maybe he’s the one who found me after the fight was over” Marinette theorized as she gave Tikki the cookie from the tray. While Tikki quietly nibbled at it, Marinette stood up and walked over to the edge of the bed. Inside the small bundle of clothes were a simple white blouse and black skirt. They were a little big, she would probably hem it if she had her sewing machine. Moments later, a tall woman with dark hair led Marinette into the penthouse, a large room with a desk in the corner. A tall man in a suit stood with his back towards the door, overlooking the sparkling city skyline. She slowly stepped inside, looking around the room as she walked towards the man. “Um hi, who are you?” Marinette asked as she apprehensively walked towards him. She couldn’t help but feel small in that grand high-ceiling room. “I am the owner of the Iceberg Lounge,” he explained. “I guess the question I should be asking is…” he turned towards her and Marinette saw he had a domino mask over his eyes and a red half mask covering his nose and mouth, “who are you?” He threw something at her and she caught it. She looked down and saw the Red Hood’s helmet, half of it looked as though someone tried to tear the metal open. Then she remembered everything she had researched about the Red Hood, and the fight that took place not long after she arrived back in Gotham. “You…” she hissed. To be continued...

#jasonettejuly2021 #jasonette #maribat #ml x dc

51 notes · View notes

faraway-wanderer · 3 years

Text

BOOKS BY ASIAN AUTHORS MASTERLIST #stopasianhate

In light of recent events and the growing anti- Asian hate in the US and UK over the course of the pandemic I wanted to put together a masterlist of books by Asian authors. Obviously, it’s not extensive and there are HUNDREDS out there, but supporting art by Asian creators is a way of showing support; read their stories, educate ourselves. It goes without saying that we should all be putting effort into reading stories of POC and by POC because even through fiction we’re learning about different cultures, countries and heritages. So here’s some books to start with by Asian authors!

Here is a link also for resources to educate and petitions to sign (especially if you don’t read haha). It’s important that we educate ourselves and uplift Asian voices right now. Your anti-racism has to include every minority that faces it.

https://anti-asianviolenceresources.carrd.co/

for UK peeps, this is a good read: We may not hear about the anti Asian racism happening here, but it is definitely happening. https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/culture/culture-news/a35692226/its-time-we-stopped-downplaying-the-uks-anti-asian-racism/

THE BOOKS:

· War Cross- Marie Lu ( the worldbuilding in this is IMMENSE.)

For the millions who log in every day, Warcross isn’t just a game—it’s a way of life. The obsession started ten years ago and its fan base now spans the globe, some eager to escape from reality and others hoping to make a profit.

· Star Daughter- Shveta Thakrar

A beautiful story about a girl who is half human and half star, and she must go to the celestial court to try to save her father after he has fallen ill. And before she knows it, she is taking part in a magical competition that she must win!

· These Violent Delights- Chloe Gong (I told my little sister to read this book yesterday bc she has a thing for a Leo as Romeo- so if you want deadly good looking Romeos, badass Juliet’s and to learn about 1920s Shanghai- this is for you.)

The year is 1926, and Shanghai hums to the tune of debauchery. A blood feud between two gangs runs the streets red, leaving the city helpless in the grip of chaos. A Romeo and Juliet retelling.

· The Poppy War- R.F Kuang (My fave fantasy series just fyi- it’s soul crushing in the best way. Rebecca Kuang is a god of an author).

A brilliantly imaginative talent makes her exciting debut with this epic historical military fantasy, inspired by the bloody history of China’s twentieth century and filled with treachery and magic, in the tradition of Ken Liu’s Grace of Kings and N.K. Jemisin’s Inheritance Trilogy.

· Loveboat Taipei- Abigail Hing Wen (Really heartwarming and insightful!)

When eighteen-year-old Ever Wong’s parents send her from Ohio to Taiwan to study Mandarin for the summer, she finds herself thrust among the very over-achieving kids her parents have always wanted her to be, including Rick Woo, the Yale-bound prodigy profiled in the Chinese newspapers since they were nine—and her parents’ yardstick for her never-measuring-up life.

· Sorcerer to the Crown- Zen Cho (if anyone is looking for another Howl’s Moving Castle, look no further than this book)

At his wit’s end, Zacharias Wythe, freed slave, eminently proficient magician, and Sorcerer Royal of the Unnatural Philosophers—one of the most respected organizations throughout all of Britain—ventures to the border of Fairyland to discover why England’s magical stocks are drying up.

· Emergency Contact- Mary H.K. Choi (very wholesome and fun rom-com!)

For Penny Lee high school was a total nonevent. When she heads to college in Austin, Texas, to learn how to become a writer, it’s seventy-nine miles and a zillion light years away from everything she can’t wait to leave behind.

· Jade City- Fonda Lee (I am reading this currently and can I just say- I think everyone who loves fantasy and blood feuds in a story should read this.)

JADE CITY is a gripping Godfather-esque saga of intergenerational blood feuds, vicious politics, magic, and kungfu. The Kaul family is one of two crime syndicates that control the island of Kekon. It's the only place in the world that produces rare magical jade, which grants those with the right training and heritage superhuman abilities.

· A Pho Love Story- Loan Le

When Dimple Met Rishi meets Ugly Delicious in this funny, smart romantic comedy, in which two Vietnamese-American teens fall in love and must navigate their newfound relationship amid their families’ age-old feud about their competing, neighbouring restaurants.

· Rebelwing- Andrea Tang

Business is booming for Prudence Wu. A black-market-media smuggler and scholarship student at the prestigious New Columbia Preparatory Academy, Pru is lucky to live in the Barricade Coalition where she is free to study, read, watch, and listen to whatever she wants.

· Wings of the Locust- Joel Donato Ching Jacob

Tuan escapes his mundane and mediocre existence when he is apprenticed to Muhen, a charming barangay wiseman. But, as he delves deeper into the craft of a mambabarang and its applications in espionage, sabotage and assassination, the young apprentice is overcome by conflicting emotions that cause him to question his new life.

· The Travelling Cat Chronicles- Hiro Arikawa

Sometimes you have to leave behind everything you know to find the place you truly belong...

Nana the cat is on a road trip. He is not sure where he's going or why, but it means that he gets to sit in the front seat of a silver van with his beloved owner, Satoru.

· Super Fake Love Song- David Yoon

From the bestselling author of Frankly in Love comes a contemporary YA rom-com where a case of mistaken identity kicks off a string of (fake) events that just may lead to (real) love.

· Parachutes- Kelly Yang

Speak enters the world of Gossip Girl in this modern immigrant story from New York Times bestselling author Kelly Yang about two girls navigating wealth, power, friendship, and trauma.

· The Grace of Kings- Ken Liu ( One of the Time 100 Best Fantasy Books Of All Time!)

Two men rebel together against tyranny—and then become rivals—in this first sweeping book of an epic fantasy series from Ken Liu, recipient of Hugo, Nebula, and World Fantasy awards.

· Wicked Fox- Kat Cho

A fresh and addictive fantasy-romance set in modern-day Seoul.

· Descendant of the Crane- Joan He

In this shimmering Chinese-inspired fantasy, debut author Joan He introduces a determined and vulnerable young heroine struggling to do right in a world brimming with deception.

· Pachinko- Min Jin Lee

Richly told and profoundly moving, Pachinko is a story of love, sacrifice, ambition, and loyalty. From bustling street markets to the halls of Japan's finest universities to the pachinko parlors of the criminal underworld, Lee's complex and passionate characters--strong, stubborn women, devoted sisters and sons, fathers shaken by moral crisis--survive and thrive against the indifferent arc of history.

· America is in the Heart- Carlos Bulosan

First published in 1946, this autobiography of the well known Filipino poet describes his boyhood in the Philippines, his voyage to America, and his years of hardship and despair as an itinerant laborer following the harvest trail in the rural West.

· Days of Distraction- Alexandra Chang

A wry, tender portrait of a young woman — finally free to decide her own path, but unsure if she knows herself well enough to choose wisely—from a captivating new literary voice.

· The Astonishing Colour of After Emily X.R Pan

Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love.

· The Gilded Wolves- Roshani Chokshi

It's 1889. The city is on the cusp of industry and power, and the Exposition Universelle has breathed new life into the streets and dredged up ancient secrets. Here, no one keeps tabs on dark truths better than treasure-hunter and wealthy hotelier Séverin Montagnet-Alarie. When the elite, ever-powerful Order of Babel coerces him to help them on a mission, Séverin is offered a treasure that he never imagined: his true inheritance.

· When Dimple met Rishi- Sandhya Menon

Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works hard to prove itself in the most unexpected ways.

· On Earth we’re briefly Gorgeous- Ocean Vuong

Poet Ocean Vuong's debut novel is a shattering portrait of a family, a first love, and the redemptive power of storytelling.

· Fierce Fairytales- Nikita Gill

Complete with beautifully hand-drawn illustrations by Gill herself, Fierce Fairytales is an empowering collection of poems and stories for a new generation.

BOOKS BEING RELEASED LATER THIS YEAR TO PREORDER:

· Counting down with you- Tashie Bhuiyan- 4th May

A reserved Bangladeshi teenager has twenty-eight days to make the biggest decision of her life after agreeing to fake date her school’s resident bad boy.

How do you make one month last a lifetime?

· Gearbreakers- Zoe Hana Mikuta- June 29th

Two girls on opposite sides of a war discover they're fighting for a common purpose--and falling for each other--in Zoe Hana Mikuta's high-octane debut Gearbreakers, perfect for fans of Pacific Rim, Pierce Brown's Red Rising Saga, and Marie Lu's Legend series

· XOXO- Axie Oh- 13th July

When a relationship means throwing Jenny’s life off the path she’s spent years mapping out, she’ll have to decide once and for all just how much she’s willing to risk for love.

· She who became the sun- Shelley Parker-Chan- 20th July

Mulan meets The Song of Achilles in Shelley Parker-Chan's She Who Became the Sun, a bold, queer, and lyrical reimagining of the rise of the founding emperor of the Ming Dynasty from an amazing new voice in literary fantasy.

· Jade Fire Gold- June C.L Tan- October 12th

Keep sharing, signing petitions and donating where you can. The more people who are actively anti-racist, the better. And if your anti-racism doesn’t include the Asian community then go and educate yourself! BLM wasn’t a trend and neither is this. We have to stand up against white supremacy, and racism and stereotypes and we have to support the communities that need our support. Part of that can include cultivating your reading so you’re reading more diversely and challenging any stereotypes western society may have given you.

Feel free to reblog and add any more recommendations and resources of course!

#stopasianhate #books by asian authors #anti racism #i'm so sickened by everything that's happening and i hope that this list does encourage people to read books by asian authors!!!#ya #poc authors #fiction #i haven't all of these yet #asian writers #asian authors #masterlist #antiasianracism

100 notes · View notes

thevindicativevordan · 3 years

Text

My Superfamily Set-Up

By and large I’m fairly happy with the upcoming Infinite Frontier status quo for the Superfamily. Granted that’s in part because I’m still convinced Kara will get an ongoing or mini in 2021, probably to coincide with her show returning, and PKJ hinted at plans for Steel on Twitter. But Kon has escaped the Titans dumpsterfire for a little while, and I’ve heard good things about Thompson as a writer as well. Kenan is popping back up in a one shot written by Yang that will hopefully herald more appearances in Batman/Superman. Jon is still co-protagonist with Clark in the main books, Tanya is in the Future State Shazam book and also a candidate for the FS Justice League book, so hopefully she’ll be in Titans Academy, and Lois is poised to be a big player in the upcoming Checkmate mini by Bendis. So fingers crossed, all the core members of the Superfamily will be in stuff come end of 2021.

Now that said, were DC to suddenly realize that I alone can save Superman, and asked me what kind of status quo I would like (whether for a mainline or Elseworld book makes no difference to me), this is the basic set up that I would go with:

Superman - I’d do a traditional status quo. Superman is disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter, married to Lois Lane, etc. I’d have Ma and Pa go back to being dead since I still am not a fan of them being alive. Note that this isn’t a reaction against Bendis, I loved Bendis’ run, but I do want to play with the traditional status quo a little bit before diving into something different. Especially since so many Superman writers have traditionally completely wasted the potential of Superman’s status quo.

Lois Lane - Similar to Superman I’d go with a more traditional status quo at the start. She works at the Daily Planet, she and Clark are married, she’s the best reporter in town, etc. I would eventually have her take over as editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet from Perry, I thought that was a great idea the New 52 wasted, and I love the idea of her and Cat Grant being rivals with the Daily Planet and Catco competing.

Jon Kent - I’d restore kid Jon and toss him back to the Super Sons, not because I think what’s been done with him has been bad, but mostly because I don’t want to write him as Superman, I want to write Clark. Jon seems to be being set up to be co-Superman, and I just don’t have any interest in writing that. To restore kid Jon without destroying Bendis’ run which I enjoyed, I’d explain that teen Jon is actually the “evil” Jon we saw from the Super Sons of Tomorrow future. He went back in time and rescued his kid self from Earth 3, and explained to him that he wanted to prevent that future from coming to pass, but that he needed to take his younger self’s place to do so. Kid Jon agreed, after all he was terrified of becoming evil in both Tomasi’s Super Sons of Tomorrow and Bendis The Man of Steel, and has basically been in hiding watching the events and also studying Hypertime so he can learn how to avoid ending up evil.

Clark and Lois would blow up at the Jons for the lie when Teen Jon judges he’s changed things enough for his kid self to return, but both Jons could point out that both Clark and Lois have kept secrets when they deemed it necessary from each other and Jon. That would be a neat conversation to have, and a way to continue the untraditional family dynamic that Bendis set up. You could keep teen Jon as a time anomaly until Hypertime catches up with him and restores him to his timeline, with him continuing to be Superman as penance, while kid Jon goes and pals around with Damian in Williamson’s Robin or whatever.

Superwoman/Kara Zor-El - I like the idea of Kara “graduating” to the Superwoman name. It’s open right now given Lana’s retirement, and I think it would suit Kara. I would keep Kara in National, it’s her own little corner to play in, but I would keep that development from (I believe it was) Andrea Shea, where Kara gets fired from Catco because she’s a terrible intern due to always running off to be a heroine. She and Kal talk, Kara admits she doesn’t really want to be a journalist, and so she goes and interns at STAR Labs. I hate how DC keeps turning all the members of the Superfamily into Clark clones. It’s goddamn stupid and I want them to please STOP. Why the hell would Kara want to go into journalism anyway? We’ve never even seen a damn journalist on Krypton! It’s a stupid thing they did on the TV show because they wanted to swipe Clark’s stuff. Let Kara be the scientist of the Els, the one who carries on the family tradition. What form that takes is something I’m open too, I liked Venditti making her interested in history in his annual, maybe make Kara an anthropologist? That would be hilarious.

Also give Lena to Supergirl, they can be best friends, enemies, lovers, I don’t care. But Lena is wasting away in a vault under Lexcorp last we saw, and that’s a damn shame considering how popular CW Lena is. I’d also add Natasha Irons (who I’d rename Mastersmith) and Tanya Spears (Powerhouse) to Supergirl’s supporting cast, they could play off each other as three supergenuis women).

Kon-El/Conner Kent/Scion - I’m really excited to see what Thompson is going to do with Kon on the Suicide Squad, but here’s what I would do with him. Kon would finally be able to shake off the Superboy moniker and leave that to Jon. Instead he’d take the name “Scion” as a reflection of his origins, and a tie-in to his new status quo. In the wake of Death Metal, Lex Luthor would abruptly step down as head of Lexcorp, stating that he needs time to redefine himself in the wake of his latest attempt to justify himself as the true hero by serving Perpetua, ending up with him needing Superman to save the day again. While he is away, he’s turned over complete control of Lexcorp to his sole heir: Conner. Conner is now head of one of the evilest megacorps in existence, and is one of the wealthiest men alive. Conner knows this is just another maneuver by Lex in his neverending crusade against Superman, but he’s determined to not just be another pawn. He accepts control, renames Lexcorp Superman, Inc. His mission will be to transform the megacorp into the force for good it pretends to be. Conner will have to take on not only Lex loyalists and traitorous underlings who would love to be CEO themselves within Lexcorp, but new megacorps who have flocked to Metropolis in hope of establishing themselves, now that the former Master of Metropolis has abdicated his throne. Threats within and threats without, but armed with the powers/morals of Superman and the charm/brains of Lex Luthor, Kon is just cocky enough to think he can handle it.

John Henry Irons/Steel - It will be a big year for John Henry Irons. His private company Steelworks is about to go public and make him a billionaire. Lana Lang has accepted his marriage proposal and they’re due to be wed. His niece Natasha has left the nest and is off working at STAR Labs. Irons is posed to finally resurrect the decrepit Suicide Slum and allow it to catch up to the rest of the City of Tomorrow. However there are problems: new megacorps are moving into the city in the wake of Lex Luthor leaving, people are disappearing from Suicide Slum with dark rumors are spreading about the reasons why, and the people of Suicide Slum are accusing Irons of planning to gentrify the borough. Making matters worse, weapons that Irons designed as a young man are appearing on the streets of Metropolis, attracting negative attention from the media and putting Steelworks at risk. Irons is going to have to suit up and take up the fight all over Metropolis, from the darkest levels of the Undercity, to the bright deceptive board rooms at the top of skyscrapers in the city’s heart. Irons will have to reckon with his past to secure his future, and confront the evil Metropolis would rather pretend doesn’t exist.

Kenan Kong/New Super-Man - Look just give Yang a damn Kenan book and let him go wild. Right now is either the best or worst time to give Kenan a book given the situation with Hong Kong, but if anyone is equipped to deal with it, it’s Yang. I’ll just add that I would love to see Kenan on a Global Guardians team, but I’d also love to see Justice League of China as a spinoff book of the main Justice League. Kenan is as close as DC has come to their own Spider-Man/Invincible take on Superman, Jon sadly hasn’t really differentiated himself from his dad while Kenan is VERY different. I would love to see Kenan pushed more and would buy a new book in a heartbeat. Also put out a damn New Super-Man omnibus Jim Lee, for God’s sake can’t you abuse your power to push the character you wanted created and is actually good unlike most of Wildstorm? You’re shoving Grifter back into everything but not Kenan? Christ.

So yeah that’s the Superfamily status quo I’d establish. Keeping my Clark and Lois ideas close to my chest for now, but I might go into more detail later.

#superman #superfamily #lois lane #jon kent #kenan kong #steel #supergirl #superwoman #dc comics #new super-man

53 notes · View notes

adifferenttime · 3 years

Text

Honest Hearts: A Rough Rewrite

Hey! I’ve been working on an Honest Hearts rewrite-type-thing for a bit and figured I’d solicit feedback/assemble a post to store some of these ideas.

A detailed explanation of the premise is under the cut, but I’ve made this as a more interesting reintroduction to major locations, along with the characters who live there. I also have some lore consisting of letters, scripture, and holotapes that’s still in the early stages, along with a complete companion wheel for Salt-Upon-Wounds (he’ll follow you around for a little if you decide to help him out). Endings are now finished as well. I’m not planning on expanding this into a full mod, but I’m assembling everything in Twine so I can utilize branching dialogue and mimic skill checks.

I want to keep adding to and editing this because I’m having fun with it, so if you have any input, let me know!

Essentially, the story proceeds as written up until the point where Daniel sends you to either kill the White Legs or destroy their war totems. You quickly realize that their camp is deserted, at which point Salt-Upon-Wounds ambushes you, convo-locks you, and tells you that there’s an entirely different side to things here that you might not have considered.

Factions

The Mormons have established a theocracy in the Utah called Deseret, with New Jerusalem - what was once Salt Lake City - as its capital. Large numbers of them survived the initial apocalypse due to their pre-War focus on strong community ties and disaster prepping; over time, they have returned to the model of self-sufficient agrarianism that characterized the historical Mormon state of Deseret that existed in Utah in the 1800s. Their President, who wields supreme executive power, is also their Prophet. The Mormons believe he communes directly with God, but there’s some discontent in New Jerusalem over his hands-off approach to foreign policy and unwillingness to assemble a standing army. The Elders of the Priesthood are pushing him to allow for some kind of formal military to oppose what they see as revived versions of their ancestral enemies: America, Rome, and the “Lamanites” (this is what Mormons call Indigenous Americans; the “Lamanite” idea has historically been used as a justification for racism, and I’m reflecting that here because it’d be kind of heinous not to). In more than a few respects, Deseret serves as a mirror to the Legion and an exploration of the other side of the coin re: the tactics utilized by colonial empires to present themselves as legitimate while still claiming territory and steamrolling the opposition.

The White Legs are now more explicitly Shoshone, and I’m relying most heavily on the Timpanagos Band for names and historical inspiration (apparently the question of whether they’re Ute or Shoshone is pretty controversial, but I’m sticking with what the Timpanagos have said about it until someone corrects me). After migrating south in the wake of the Great War, the White Legs eventually settled in Ogden, about a day north of New Jerusalem. Initial interactions with the Mormons were friendly, but as New Jerusalem grew and its need for farmland and resources increased, tensions rose before culminating in open violence in around ‘76 or ‘77. Deseret’s party line is that the White Legs conducted a “raid” on one of their settlements and had to be driven away from Ogden; the White Legs claim the violence was not a raid, but a revenge killing after a Mormon killed a young man and was found not guilty by Mormon legal authorities (this is a theocracy, so “legal authorities” here can be understood as indistinct from “the church”). The Mormons established a new settlement on the ruins of Ogden, which they called New Canaan, and the White Legs fled to Salt Lake, where they have been dwindling in number ever since. Salt-Upon-Wounds’ plan to seek entry to the Legion is a last-ditch attempt to save his people from eradication when their neighbors and the land itself seems intent on killing them (not that that makes all the war crimes ok, which is a sentiment you’ll be able to express to his face if you engage him in conversation).

The Dead Horses are a pastoral society from out of Dead Horse Point, and are split almost down the middle along political lines. The more conservative, religious side opposes intervention in Zion. Graham desecrates the corpses of his enemies as an intimidation tactic, and because the Dead Horses’ religion is so eschatological and heavily focused on properly cleaning, preparing, and interring the dead, a big chunk of the religious leadership opposes him on that basis - they think his tactics are ungodly. They’re also worried that any Dead Horses who die in Zion and are interred there will be severed from their connection to Dead Horse Point and doomed to a separate, lonely afterlife. The younger, more progressive elements of the tribe are less traditionalist, sometimes less religious, and overall not as concerned about Graham’s treatment of the dead because of the potential benefit they might be able to derive from him. Follows-Chalk is their de facto leader, and while the Dead Horses don’t formally allocate political power, he’s among the most influential people in the informal tribal leadership. Most of the Dead Horses who’ve come to Zion have done so either because they support Follows-Chalk politically, or for practical reasons - namely, Graham’s access to a dizzying number of guns and his willingness to give them to anyone who’ll fight for him.

The Sorrows are now a terrace-farming agrarian society instead of hunter-gatherers (Zion has a lot of agricultural potential, and there’s already a few farming plots in the Sorrows camp you see in-game, so it’s not a huge departure from the canon). I’m keeping their Mexican heritage, but I’d like to give them some Ainu influences as well - partially for selfish reasons, but also because bears are extremely important to our culture and theology, which gels well with the elements of Sorrows culture and religion that appear in the canon. I’d like to keep the Survivalist because I like him, but I want to expand on their faith. One of the ways I’m doing that is by deciding they can still read English, even though they no longer speak it; it’s basically their equivalent of liturgical Latin. They’re also rigidly matriarchal and in contrast to the Dead Horses (who eschew formal political hierarchies) or the White Legs (who elect a chief who serves until he dies, is deposed, or voluntarily abdicates), leadership positions are allocated through matrilineal primogeniture; Waking Cloud inherited her position from her mother. Religious leadership, likewise, is only available to women. You’ll be able to talk to Waking Cloud about some of the ways this framework is incompatible with the Mormon perspective, and can appeal to her desire to retain power.

Characters

Canon Characters

Joshua Graham and Daniel are largely unaltered except through the addition of lore that gives insight into their cultures, motives, and pasts.

All three tribal leaders (Follows-Chalk, Waking Cloud, and Salt-Upon-Wounds) are either given new backstories, a different set of motives, or different approaches to one another/Graham and Daniel. They’re also explicitly leaders now - what power Graham and Daniel have, they derive from whichever tribal leader they’ve managed to attach themselves to. Of those three, I’m altering Waking Cloud the least and Salt-Upon-Wounds the most. Like I mentioned, I have a companion wheel for him so far and the bones of two other conversations - one, where you meet him for the first time, and the second, where you speak to him before the final battle. Will link as I finish them.

Original Characters

Each tribal leader now has a rival or right hand within their tribe so I can reflect the different ways the values of a specific community can express themselves.

Follows-Chalk’s primary rival among the Dead Horses is a man who refuses to tell you his name. That’s because using someone’s name in casual conversation is considered unspeakably rude, and the fact that Follows-Chalk is willing to share his own with you is, to Mysteriously Named Old Man Character, yet another sign of how disrespectful and laissez-faire Follows-Chalk is about their shared traditions. Old Man Character is suspicious of you initially, but if you speak to him more he starts to warm to you. The goal is to give you a sense that this he’s pretty xenophobic but for good reasons, and despite his political conflicts with Follows-Chalk, has a lot of love for him. He just wants what’s best for his family, and Follows-Chalk is part of that, even if Mysteriously Named Old Man Character thinks he’s making the wrong choices.

Kiiki is Salt-Upon-Wounds’ right-hand woman and intended as a contrast re: the approach to war and its costs. Salt-Upon-Wounds has done some horrible things and gets a fair bit of dialogue about that, but Kiiki is willing to go even further than he has with very little prompting. Her chief copes with what he’s done by trying to assure himself that the ends of war are worth the cost; Kiiki deals with it by trying to convince herself that the means weren't so bad, actually, and that anyone who isn’t nailing corpses to walls is being naive. All of that makes her sound pretty shitty, but she’s nowhere near as devoted to the idea of a Legion alliance as Salt-Upon-Wounds is. It only takes one very low Speech check to convince her that going Legion is a bad move, and one of the paths involves assassinating Salt-Upon-Wounds and installing her as the new leader as a way to stop the White Legs from joining Caesar. I haven’t added this path to the ending Twine because I’d like to finish Kiiki’s dialogues before I do that.

I’m replacing White Bird as the Sorrow’s spiritual leader with a woman named Imekanu. She’s incredibly old, savvy, and knowledgeable - she’s never been outside Zion, but has a store of books in English, Spanish, and Japanese that have allowed her some insight into what caused the war, if not the current state of the world. She’s also aware of the Survivalist’s origins - not because she’s entered any of his hideouts, but because she’s read over the scriptures and has correctly identified them as letters. Her perspective is that the Father in the Caves was a human being, but that doesn’t diminish his religious value. She sees him as analogous to the Buddha or a Catholic saint: human, sure, but still with access to some deeper truths about the purpose of man and the nature of human goodness. You’ll discover that this idea (that the Survivalist was a holy man rather than a literal god) is the most common perspective among the Sorrows, and you can talk to her about how this departs from Daniel’s perspective that the archetypal Father is divine, not human.

Quests

Each tribe has a specific quest that will either lower or bypass some of the penultimate checks that will determine your ending (people are more likely to believe what you’re telling them if you’ve already won their trust).

The Dead Horses: Joshua Graham has been putting the heads of the fallen up on pikes across Zion. The Dead Horses’ religion is deeply concerned with proper treatment of the deceased, and Graham’s decision to desecrate the corpses of his enemies goes against virtually everything they believe. The old man who won’t tell you his name asks you to take the heads off of the pikes and bury them deep in Zion, and to bring Follows-Chalk with you so you’ll have someone to tell you how to treat them properly. Over the course of the quest, Follows-Chalk will share some of his own beliefs about death, and you’ll have the opportunity to share your own. If you complete this quest without sabotaging it, Follows-Chalk will be willing to betray Graham to the White Legs before the final battle.

The Sorrows: This is basically just Ghost of She, but after defeating the Yao Guai you’ll discover a holotape revealing that the girl wasn’t killed by the bear, but by one of the murderers from Vault 22. Waking Cloud will speculate that maybe the Yao Guai wasn’t the ghost of the little girl at all but some other force that wanted to push you to discover the truth. If you wait until the end to tell Waking Cloud about the death of her husband, you’ll have to pass a Speech check of 75 to convince her you’re telling her the truth; completing this quest drops the check to 50.

The White Legs: Salt-Upon-Wounds will ask you to help him sabotage the Mormons’ preparations for the battle. If you help him with this, it’ll drop the Speech check for you to convince him to leave from 100 to 80. It’s not necessary at all to get the tribal confederacy ending, but a new note will appear in your inventory if you finish it and meet a couple other requirements (asking him certain questions, not attempting that one Speech check about religion, etc).

Endings

I’m trying to incorporate as much variety as possible, but there are three main ending paths: siding with the White Legs, siding with the other two tribes, and peace. The basic idea is that the outcome is predicated less on your direct intervention, and more on how other people act based on the facts they have available to them. Most of your influence is through your choices to hide or reveal key pieces of information, and the skill checks you need to access certain endings are less you convincing a character to do something and more convincing a character to believe you’re telling them the truth. There’s one major exception to this, it requires maxed Speech, and the ending it gives you is markedly bittersweet because you’re trying to get a guy to act against his own best interest. I’m writing all the endings up here, and will probably edit them as things change. The post where I explain them in more depth can be found here.

And that’s the story so far! Thank you for reading, and again: if there’s anything here you think is poorly-conceived, let me know. Thank you to @baelpenrose, who’s a grad student in the history of the American West, for helping me workshop a lot of this stuff. If you’ve got expert knowledge on any of the concepts I touch on or are personally a member of any of the groups I’m describing, please feel free to hmu: anon is on, and you’re always welcome to DM me. I’m just doing this for fun, but I still want it to be as not-shit as possible.

#fallout new vegas #fnv #honest hearts #honest hearts rewrite #probably should have started with initial conversations but oh well lmao

58 notes · View notes

baekhypnotized · 4 years

Text

drive me crazy [M]

it’s a just normal occasion that baekhyun brought you out for a dinner with one of his partner. everything was perfect at the first but when his friend mentioned about his rival, he became intense. on the way back home, you decided to make him relieve his stress, made him go crazy.

GENRE: smut, romance, oneshot

PAIRING: byun baekhyun x you/fem reader

WARNING(S): fingering, oral, handjob, blowjob, car sex, dom!baekhyun, sub!reader

WORDS: 3.3k+

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I improvise this oneshot so I decided to post it out. But, I’m so sorry if my writing skills are still suck because I kinda having problems with my insecurities towards writing :( sorry for any common errors and for the bad smut oneshot too. will try to improve more in the future!! please leave some of your thoughts after reading this!! thank you in advance for dropping by and read!!

Byun Baekhyun is just a busy businessman, the greatest CEO in the city as he owns almost all of the shares in Byun Corporation which it's his family company. At a very young age, he became the Chairman just because his father fell sick as he was unable to contribute himself into his hectic schedules or not, he will get a heart attack due to high blood pressure.

Instead, Baekhyun took the biggest role among his siblings because his eldest, Baekbeom, is busy handling their company in China plus he already has two children and it does make sense that Baekhyun is the most perfect one to take the position other than his close relatives.

But, here you are, always be by his side to support him no matter what happens. Even though Baekhyun said you are his pillar of strength in his life, he is your source of light. He shines brightly in your life the moment he came in the first place. The one who taught you that life doesn't only revolve around you, where problems can be solved even if it takes thousands of years. That man helps you a lot to realise that you’re that kind of person who deserves to live in this world.

"Babe..." A soft tone calling you.

Currently, you are reading your book on the bed with Baekhyun, sleeping soundly beside me as he hugs your lap lazily like a child. You divert your gaze to him, stroking your fingers through his messy, fluffy permed hair full of adoration. Putting aside your book on the bedside table, you bend your body with your arm supporting your head. You continue to stroke his hair softly, trying to coax him from his exhaustion.

Baekhyun's eyes are still tightly shut but his cute snores have turned into several sighs. He had a sleepless night before, busying himself into meetings with shareholders, business partners and also piles of paperwork.

"Yes, Baekhyun?" You reply to his call.

"I’m fucking tired..." He confesses and again, he leaves out a huge sigh. Your lips tilt into a small smile before you plant a soft kiss on his crown a little bit longer, hoping it will soothe him a bit.

"I know, baby. I know. Have some rest, hmm?"

"I can't. We can't. We have dinner with my business partner from London, remember?" He replies. You almost forgot that he told you two days before that he's going to bring you together with him to the dinner since he wants to introduce you as someone who's the most important to him to them. But, right now, you would want to force him to stay at home instead, telling them he will not be able to join the dinner since he's sick or something. Baekhyun can pay all the expensive dishes for his business partners just to give him the bill.

Yet, he's not the kind of person that you know.

Baekhyun is a responsible man, always prioritises and cares about his company more than himself because he wants his dad to be proud of him but of course, his dad is already proud of him no matter what. His dad once told you to always remind him to not immerse himself too much in this business because at once, he will never have thoughts about his health. Like the one that his parents believe in, you moved into his apartment after you graduated from your university and since then, you are the one who's taking care of everything about him.

"But Baekhyun..." You are about to fight him when he suddenly cuts you off with placing his soft lips on yours, indulging into a long, passionate kiss. Baekhyun brings his calloused hands to cup your cheeks, tilting his head a bit to devour your wet cavern deeper. Involuntarily, both of you sit up, as you are wrapping your hands around his neck while he pulls you to sit on his lap. The two of you drown into the long kiss, able to replace all the kisses that you guys were supposed to exchange always for the past few days when he was busy.

He breaks the kiss, tugging a strand of your hair that is hiding your face behind the ear. Your heart flutters as you could feel your face flush. "I’m sorry for not being with you for the past few days, babe. I'll make it up to you later." He lifts your chin up to look into his eyes straightly, "Cross my heart."

You bob your head several times, placing your head slowly on his broad chest as you inhale your favourite scent of his that gives you comfort somehow. Baekhyun places his chin on your head, caressing your hands adoringly as the two of you stay in this position for a few minutes before starting to prepare for tonight's dinner.

He wears a royal blue tuxedo, pairing with a silver metallic wristwatch from Rolex and his hair was combed nicely, making him look the hottest tonight. As for you, you wear a short satin silk dress in also royal blue colour to match with his tuxedo. You dangled a pair of crystal blue earrings and also a wonderful expensive necklace that Baekhyun bought for you together with the dress. You slip yourself into blue high heels and bring your pouch to the dinner.

Baekhyun prefers to drive his Black Audi Rs7 rather than having his private driver to drive the two of you to the restaurant. The interior of the car was designed beautifully as it suits well with him. Maybe that's why he prefers driving his favourite car. And whenever he drives the car while using only one hand on his steering, somehow he looks so magnificent. Every time he focuses on the road, he slides his other hand to intertwine with your hand, planting a kiss on the back of your hand. That small action can make your heart beats like there's no tomorrow.

Baekhyun makes you fall in love with him every second of the time.

When the both of you arrive at the restaurant as he parks his car, Baekhyun guides you to the private dining room that he reserved by placing his hand behind your waist, keeping you close to him because there were a lot of people on our way as he’s afraid of losing me among the crowds.

"Baekhyun!" A man who looks like in our age greets him from afar as the two of you go closer to the table. Baekhyun sincerely greets his business partner with a warm hug while you shake hands with his escorts.

"Finally, you’re here in Korea! Let's take our seats, shall we?" Baekhyun invites all of us to take our seats as I land myself sitting right beside him. Baekhyun comfortably places his hand on your thigh, caressing it. You do have fear as you would become so nervous with strangers but thanks to him, you feel calm and giving a bright smile across your face.

"Jack, let me introduce you to my favourite girl," He introduces your name to his business partner as you lift yourself from your seat to shake hands politely with Jack.

"Nice to meet you! Baekhyun often tells me about you!" Jack says that cause you to flush. The thoughts of Baekhyun mentioning you to his friends make you blush because obviously he wouldn’t stop doing it as he in love with you. Like deeply.

The waitress comes to your table, handing the menu booklet to each everyone. Once you open the menu to take a look at the choices, you are stupefied by staring at the price. It was extremely pricey that makes you gulp a large lump in your throat.

"Baby, order anything that you want," He murmurs, pats your thighs to assure you to choose anything that you want. Well, he's too rich to pay for the dishes for sure. After the four of you guys order the food, Baekhyun and Jack start to discuss the business while me and Maria (Jack's escort) exchange stories about our countries.

You sneakily take a few glances on Baekhyun, feeling ease seeing him laughing out loud when Jack tells him some jokes. You are very delighted to see him in this way even when he talks about his company's business. The qualms that you worry finally lessen slowly.

The food expressly arrives after a few minutes but as usual for women, Maria and you take pictures of the dishes first, leaving the men snorting silently as they are watching both of you. After a few shots, the four of you finally devour the dishes. For real, the foods are so mouth-watering, making all of you guys busy indulging the good food silently and focus.

"Anyway, do you know that Park Corporation is currently trying to win some of our shareholders' attention?" Jack asks, causing Baekhyun to stop swallowing his food. You can see his face becomes tighter and the facial expression becomes serious and intense.

"Really? Has he succeeded then?" He asks in return. Baekhyun, trying his best to not spoil the dinner, casually continues to cut his beef.

"Our shareholders' grip strongly on our trust, Baekhyun. But you know how determined he is, trying to let your business down..." Jack expresses it slowly, understanding that Baekhyun also has his own temper that he needs to control when it comes to his company.

Baekhyun grabs his expensive wine, gulping it, "No worries, we will never lose them." He replies with a small smile, trying to not make Jack worry about the current situation. "Let's finish this up, guys. It's getting late already."

The moment becomes silent because no one is brave enough to utter anything currently. Including you. you could only caress his thigh softly in circles, murmurs discreetly into his ears saying, "Everything's going to be fine, baek." You comfort him with a soft tone.

When the dinner ends, we bid goodbyes to Jack and Maria, inviting them for a tour later when they have more leisure time to visit Korea because Jack has a business that he needs to settle back in London, that's why they need to catch the next flight by tonight.

The drive back to the apartment continues to become silent. you hate this kind of moment when Baekhyun looks so scary and serious as you are afraid to talk to him. But you know, only you can break him through that intense moment between the both of us. Daringly, you travel your hand to his crotch, begin to massage his clothed members slowly but pleasurably, causing him to hiss softly.

Baekhyun tries his best to focus on the road, gripping the steering wheel tighter the moment you continue to massage his balls. You slip your hand into his pants and boxers, feeling his bare meat as you grip your fingers around his member. He’s so fucking thick. You take out his member freely from his pants, playfully playing with his red tip using your thumb pad in circles.

"B-baby.." He calls.

You ignore him, start pumping his shaft around your fingers by adding more pressure. Moans start to elicit out of his mouth. You continue to cup his big balls with your other hand, trying to make him crazy while you're working out with his cock with your hands. When the veins at his dick start to protrude as it starts to stand proudly and hard, a few pre-cums start to release. "Eyes on the road, Mr Byun."

You begin to engulf his whole long length into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down your mouth while taking a glance at his pleasurable face. You can finally taste his small amount of juices in your mouth. Moans and low grunts are escaping as Baekhyun slams his head back to the headrest. He tries his best to focus on the road, trying to avoid us from getting caught into an accident. You could see the visible veins decorating his throbbing dick.

It didn't take long before Baekhyun finally surrender . He purposely bucked his hips upwards, accidentally causing his tip to hit the back of your throat as you gag having his cock fully inside your wet cavern. You try your best to give him the pleasure that he wants since he loves it when you mercilessly give him the blowjob. Your tears start to prickle in the corner of your eyes each and every time Baekhyun's cock hits your throat as you are breathing heavily through your nose this time.

"F-Fuck... it feels so good, baby-" He mutters as he moans. The sounds of you gagging and choking yourself with his big cock is the music into his ears where he doesn't need to turn on the radio. But instead, listen to that drench and sloppy wet sounds that you’re making with his throbbing dick. You are speeding your pace to engulf his cock as it's abusing your mouth.

"I'm coming, baby..." Baekhyun warns you with his husky yet breathy voice. Before he succeeded in releasing his juices into your mouth, he parked the car safely, somewhere as it's a perfect place to hide the car from other people's sights.

Baekhyun tightens the grip on the steering wheel, causing his knuckles to turn into white the moment he releases his hot seeds into your wet cavern, leaving a loud gasp. You try so hard to gulp and swallow it quickly. He pulls you off from his cock, some of his seeds trail from your lips as you lick it off.

"You're such a bad girl. I was driving and you blow-jobbing me, huh?" Baekhyun cups my cheeks with his hand, holding them with a force as he stares into your eyes seriously.

Innocently, you nod your head.

"Are you already wet?" He asks.

"You need to find it out then," You arrogantly reply as you smirk. Spreading your legs wider, you invite his fingers to feel the wetness that already drench your panties after listening to his moans from previous sessions. Practically, your wetness is pooling at your core, dripping wet but still waiting for him to settle it.

Baekhyun chuckles huskily, bringing his fingers to cup your drench panties before he pulls it off, leaving your bare pussy revealed to the exposed air. You breathe heavily, with the thoughts are currently playing in your mind which are Baekhyun finger fucking your hole.

Baekhyun strokes his two fingers along your folds, caressing on it while his thumb abuses your swollen and sensitive nub. Your toes start to curl and you grunt softly. "What do you want me to do with you?"

"Fuck me with your fingers, please" You finally beg. Suddenly, he hardly pushes his 3 digits into your tight cunt, passing through the walls without any warning..

You start to squirm badly when he begins to thrust your pussy with his fingers as he continues to play with your swollen clit. Your eyes are shut, biting your lower lip to bear with the pleasure that he gives when he keeps poking your sensitive spot over and over with his fingers.

You grip tightly around the seatbelt but it's unable to make you stop squirming badly, feeling aroused having him sliding his digits in and out easily because of your wet juices as the lubrication.

"B-Baekhy- Faster-'' you command. In any minute, his eyes dilated, increased his thrusting and hit your spot non-stop. You pull his nape into a deep kiss, swallowing the moans as he slips his tongue to stroke the roof of your mouth.

You double over the gasp when he brings his mouth to your clit, sucking and licking it badly while his fingers continue to pump in and out of your pussy. He quickens his movements and fucks you faster with his digits. You can finally feel the build-up in your stomach as he rolls the bud between his lips. The string of arousal finally snaps. You let out a loud mewl. You grip your fingers hard around the seatbelt, squeezing your legs together with Baekhyun lodges his face between your thighs.

"Oh my god.." You pant hard, feeling the last wave of pleasure rushes in you.

You cum having his mouth abusing your pussy. Baekhyun gives a few licks of your juices, swallowing them. Your legs feel so weak as your heart is beating too fast.

"Come here," Baekhyun invites. He unbuckles your seatbelt and lifts you up from the passenger seat, placing you to sit on his lap. "Thank you for being such a bad girl for me, babe," Baekhyun mumbles into your ear, dragging the tip of his hard cock along your slit. "Let me reward you." He breathes.

A sexy moan leaves your mouth when you lift yourself to push his tip between your folds and into your wet pussy. Baekhyun sheaths himself even more until his cock completely buried inside of you. Your walls squeezing tightly around his thick rod. He groans, his hand placed on your hips while your hands wrap around his neck.

"You're so..." he sounds breathless, "tight.."

You start to ride his cock relentlessly while Baekhyun works out with his hips upwards to meet with your thrust synchronously. Your inner muscles clench around him involuntarily. He grunts into your ear.

Your legs start to tremble to the fact that the pleasure weakens your energy. Baekhyun keeps on ramming your tight pussy with his thick girth while your pussy is trying to engulf his rod fully in me. The sexes slide smoothly just because the two of you guys’ pre-juices lubricate it well. "B-Baekhyun-"

Baekhyun slaps your bare ass, causing you to let out a surprised squeal as your pussy suddenly tightens around his throbbing cock, causing him to groan loudly. His breathing is loud and shallow in your ears.

Your mouth parts as you receive the same arousal that he keeps on giving. You roll your eyes back, slamming your head together each and every thrust. He cannot stop calling your name, abusing your g-spot with his swollen tip over and over. The overstimulation that you’re currently having, causing you to slow down from thrusting.

But, he aids you, pinning your back to the steering wheel as he uses his force to pound into your tight snatch. Tears start to stream down your cheeks as you feel like about to burst.

You bump your back on the steering wheel, accidentally hitting the honk. There are also a few times your head bumps towards the roof of the car, causing the both of you to chuckle for a second. Baekhyun pulls me away from the honk, afraid we will catch the neighbourhood's attention while we're busy fucking in his black car. "I'm cumming, Baekhyun..."

You couldn't hold it anymore. Baekhyun continues to hit that specific spot with a few more thrusts, you explode around his cock, your walls convulsing. He also released his hot and warm semen into your womb as both of us panting hard, trying to catch our breath. Baekhyun pecks your lips, wiping your sweaty forehead with his hand. "Thank you, baby." He plants a kiss on your crown.

You slowly pull yourself to sit back on the passenger seat, gasping softly the moment his throbbing cock sliding out from your cunt, feeling empty inside. You grin widely at him when the mixed cums start to drip from your hole. You pull out some tissues to wipe off the cums around your pussy, worried that it will stain his leather seat. Baekhyun also takes some tissues to wipe his drench throbbing cock before he slides his member into his pants back.

"Sorry if you accidentally stained your seat, baek.." You mutter softly as you apologise, making him chuckles.

"It’s okay, baby. This is also your car anyway and only you can sit here," He points it out to the seat that you’re sitting, "And the place where we'll be making out other than our bed." He smirks seducingly, causing me to slap his chest softly.

"Let's go home, hmm?" You buckle your seatbelt securely before looking at him. His engine roars the moment he starts the car, buckling himself as he slides his hand to intertwine again with your fingers.

"To our home, we go."

#exowritersnet #exo fanfiction #baekhyun #baekhyun fanfiction #baekhyun smut #smut fanfiction #exo scenarios #baekhyun scenarios #baekhyun oneshot

352 notes · View notes

damnusillygoose · 3 years

Text

Jerza fanfiction(Fluff)

Title: Some insecurities to overcome

summary: Erza has some insecurities. Can Jellal help her overcome them?

Disclaimer: These characters belong to Hiro sensei

'Mira, listen. I think I am overdoing it but I can't stop.'

'I know right? A woman cannot stop her raging heart inside a shop selling skincare products after all.'

'This is very addictive', Erza grimaced, looking down at the products in her hands, ranging from body lotions to SPF to cleansers to moisturizers. All sorts of products a woman can buy to pamper herself.

'You are finally paying attention to your skincare routine. I wonder who is that lucky man who triggered such a change in you, huh?', Mira smiled in a suggestive manner.

'wh-what makes you think I am doing this for a man?! I am doing it for myself you know-

'Yes, yes feminist, I know. In fact, we all know when you exactly started paying attention towards this department. Especially your hair. Stop trying to divert the topic, will you?

'….'

'Does he make you happy?'

Her eyebrows de-tangled themselves from her frown as her face softened at the mention of the man who held her heart within his. 'He does, Mira. He makes me really happy', she gushed in a barely audible whisper.

'I am going be the "best aunt" to your kids. Mhm, though Meredy could be a potential rival for this title', she rambled.

'M-Mira?! That's- You are going too fast! Slow down! It's been just six months to us, give us a break. I would…love to have a family with him in future but right now, it's too soon and I…. I would like to marry him before that', she stammered and covered her face with her hands, turning red at her confession.

Mira eyed her friend smugly, studying her reaction. Erza truly acted different when Jellal was involved. She would turn into the sweetest cinnamon roll around him. Not that she purposefully acted different in front of him.

Erza felt free when she talked to Jellal. She could act spoiled, flirty, bossy, whatever she wanted. She could act vulnerable in front of him because Jellal was her place of comfort. She could be herself within his arms, he was her childhood sweetheart after all.

'Yes, yes grow as a couple, bloom as a couple. Take your time. You guys don't have to rush anyways. Make up for the time you lost', Mira remarked.

Erza lowered her hands slowly, producing a shy smile. 'Yes, we are making up for the time we lost.'

*****************************************************************************************

Seriously though, skincare was such a hassle. It needs dedication and consistency. You have to be patient. You don't get results overnight. Jellal's face was super soft and absolutely blemish free, no dark spots whatsoever. He didn't even use any special product.

'Greens Erza, greens. Eat your greens. Plus, I don't go snacking on sweets in the middle of the night, you know.'

Erza pressed her lips together in defiance. Cutting out sugar redeemed results when someone is trying to achieve clear skin but that's something she couldn't accomplish, if she were to be honest. Leave it, I will try to compensate in other departments like quality sleep and exercise, she tried to convince herself.

She finished applying her hair mask and tied her hair into a secure bun. She reached for her tea tree scrub, took some of it in her hands and started rubbing it in circular motions on her face.

She rinsed it thoroughly after 2 minutes of exfoliating and entered the bathroom to prepare her bath.

****************************************************************************************

Jellal entered the front gate of their little cottage which they bought just at the outskirts of Magnolia. The location had advantages of its own. They both enjoyed and appreciated scenic beauty away from the clanging energy of the city. They could wake up peacefully, hear the serene chirping of birds, as the soft morning rays would kiss their faces gently. After spending an entire decade fighting battles, they thoroughly appreciated the tranquillity provided amidst nature.

Plus, they could very well use some privacy from media houses because Erza and Jellal's relationship was a hot topic going around in the city. They could take long walks without being pestered by them, flirt and make out whenever they pleased, without the fear of being stalked by them. No one could invade their privacy. It was their personal heaven.

Their friends obviously knew about their location, they came to visit them often.

Team Natsu would often come by to annoy Erza but Jellal knew she loved when they visited and she loved picnics as well, so he tried to create an aesthetic arrangement by adorning the flower pots in their lawn with golden lit fairy lights, situated within the close vicinity of their seating layout. He would switch them on late in the evenings, as they all would watch the sun set while sipping tea, stargazing and laughing with each other. Sometimes, Gray would bring his music speakers and they all would dance and listen to some traditional songs together as the fairy lights embellished their surroundings. Jellal truly enjoyed their company, they were a fun bunch to hang out with.

Crime sorciere was no less. Jellal would often play cricket with them on Sundays and afterwards, they would laze around in his lawn, basking in the sun, as it was the closest place from their playing field.

Jellal would find Erza trying to engage herself with his team and serving them pastries. It would warm his heart immediately when he would see her making attempts to integrate with his people.

'Well, you try to spend time with my friends, I want to know yours as well.'

Not to forget the fact, Erza had taken upon herself to look after Meredy, just like she did for Wendy. She would also do her best to include her in girl's night out and slumber parties. The two of the most important women in Jellal's life became close pretty quickly.

He was grateful to have such an exceptional woman who tried to indulge herself with his life, entwining them together, just like they both were meant to be. He was lucky, he contemplated.

He had gone out to visit Meredy. She had recently rented a place in magnolia and Jellal went to check on her if she needed any assistance.

He closed the door behind him quietly and proceeded to place the groceries he bought in the kitchen. He treaded upstairs to their bedroom and found her sitting in front of her dressing table-applying some lotion on her face, her hair neatly wrapped in a towel.

'I am back.'

'Hey. Everything okay with Meredy?'

'Yes, she is ecstatic to have her own place'

'I see. That's good. I should visit her soon and inform her of some cheap shopping complexes, which offer quality clothing in Magnolia. I love to frequent those with Mira. A woman should have some tricks up in her sleeves.' She replied as a matter of fact.

'I am sure she would be grateful for that', he almost laughed. 'What are you doing?'

'Applying moisturizer'

He sat at the edge of their bed and observed her closely.

'What?', she asked

'Can I help you in drying your hair?'

The corners of her mouth raised on hearing his request. She closed her eyes relishing his adoration for her hair that he named himself.

'Please do', she said as she finished applying her lotion on her face.

They were always like this around each other - content and serene, just like two important halves of a single soul, reunited after treading a long and strenuous journey of self-actualisation. Erza took note of the fact how loved he made her feel even through his tiniest action. Like how he was helping her dry her hair right now.

Jellal, unaware of her musing, took hold of her towel and carefully unwrapped it. Her hair was damp but not dripping wet. He divided them in two partitions and gently started squeezing the excess water out with immense concentration and meticulosity. He repeated the process with the other section as well until he was satisfied with his job. He kept the damp towel aside and ran his hand through the soft and glossy texture of her locks reverently.

Erza felt the tension residing her shoulder muscles leave when she felt his expert hands massage her the nape of her neck firmly. He moved his fingers, tracing her collarbone, bringing her against his chest gently.

'Erza, please remember that you are beautiful. Blemish free or not.' He reminded her, whispering gently in her ears before kissing her cheek lovingly. He held her face softly in his hand and turned her to face him, as they held each other's gaze.

She recently developed a complex regarding her skin not being flawless. Those cursed vogue magazines she picked at a store depicted ladies with blemish free faces. They continued to attack her newfound insecurity.

Jellal often witnessed her groaning while examining her face more than usual in front of the mirror. He saw her reading some magazines where models were photoshopped to an extreme extent, as if they had no skin texture at all. Some didn't even seem human with their body enhancements. It was abhorrent, he felt, to make women insecure regarding something which was naturally unachievable. He just wanted to let her know that he was going to love her no matter what and that outward appearance would never dwindle his feelings which he held for 14 years.

'Thank you Jellal', she took a deep breathe and smiled at him, being grateful for his support. 'I am not hating myself anymore for not having clear skin. Those vogue magazines depict a very unhealthy beauty standard and some women end up hating themselves for not looking that fabulous.'

'You shouldn't read them anymore. I don't want you to feel sad over something unrealistic. You are beautiful the way you are.' He didn't think she knew how beautiful she was in his eyes along with her flaws, especially her flaws.

'I am not, believe me. People are meant to be imperfect after all. That's where the real beauty lies. right?', she replied, meaning every single word she spoke, finally brimming with some self-confidence.

'Come here love, sit between my legs, come', he urged her and she relented by walking towards him. He shifted further along the mattress to make some space for her. She crawled over and seated herself comfortably between his legs and laid her back against his chest. He brought his legs around, boxing her within his hold. She brought her hands up to hold his and leaned into his cheek, sighing contently.

They spent a few moments in this position, simply observing and cherishing the sunrays falling into their room-for warming them up in this cold morning. Their hearts-already warmed up with the love they held for each other.

'Hey sleepyhead', he nudged her mildly when he noticed her blinking in exhaustion, almost ready to fall asleep owing to the cosy atmosphere they created, 'Aren't you hungry? What about breakfast? No- brunch.', he corrected himself when he turned his neck to look at the clock. It was almost 11.30 A.M.

'mhmp...? Oh brunch, right. I almost fell asleep', she chuckled, still slightly drowsy.

'What about strawberry sprinkled donuts glazed with white chocolate?!', she exclaimed ecstatically with her eyes wide open, now fully awake.

Of course, he should have known she would reply something of this sort.

'Sure, but after I feed you some healthy omelettes along with salad consisting of broccoli and beans.'

Jellal was kind of particular about nutrition.

'But those donuts are baked, not fried!', she argued. Apparently eating sweets for breakfast was perfectly healthy in Erza's dictionary.

'You can eat fried as well but after we have our brunch.', he hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. Forget brunch he wanted to eat her right now.

She smiled and rolled her eyes in her apparent defeat.

'Salad it is then.

*****************************************************************************************

A/N: This drabble is also a gentle reminder to all the beautiful ladies out there who feel inferior after browsing through Instagram, looking at those models and wondering why aren't we like them. We are not like them because they themselves do not represent a reality. Instagram is not real, nothing depicted there is. Keep loving yourself and stay hydrated. Do check out my others stories and leave a review if you liked this one. Constructive criticism is appreciated!

link to my profile on fanfiction.net

https://www.fanfiction.net/~damnyousillygoose

#jerza #jerza fanfiction #fairy tail #fairy tail 100 yq #erza scarlet #jellal fernandez #jellal x erza #jellal and erza

22 notes · View notes

john-smith69 · 4 years

Text

Ranking my favorite characters of each of my favorite animes / mangas

For the record: I don't own any of the following artworks bellow. All the credit go for their own original artists

Top 10: Olivier Mira Armstrong (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Olivier Mira Armstrong (オリヴィエ・ミラ・アームストロング, Orivie Mira Āmusutorongu), also known as Major General Armstrong is the primary heir to the illustrious Armstrong family, the commanding officer charged with the protection of Amestris' northern border at Fort Briggs and the older sister of Alex Louis Armstrong. Olivier is a severe woman who has a fearsome and commanding presence where she is harsh with her subordinates and peers and coldly merciless to her enemies, the deceptively beautiful woman's schadenfreude has earned her the nickname "Ice Queen" among the Briggs soldiers. Sharp-tongued and highly combative, Olivier is no stranger to furious chastisements and bursts of fiery violence, especially toward those who fail to live up to her high standards and staunch adherence to the "survival of the fittest" philosophy.

Top 9: Mikasa Ackerman (Attack On Titan)

Mikasa Ackerman (ミカサ・アッカーマン Mikasa Akkāman) is the adoptive sister of Eren Yeager and one of the two deuteragonists of the series, along with Armin Arlert.

After her biological parents were murdered by human traffickers, Mikasa was rescued by Eren Yeager and lived with him and his parents, Grisha and Carla, before the fall of Wall Maria. Though she desires only to live a peaceful life, Mikasa entered into the military—where she is considered the best soldier among the 104th Training Corps. She later enlists in the Survey Corps to follow and protect Eren, becoming one of its greatest assets. She is currently serving as an officer (上官 Jōkan) in the Corps. Mikasa cares deeply for her friends and caretakers, seeing them as the last remnants of a family she cannot afford to lose. Mikasa also appears to have a soft spot for children, and she has a strong sense of right and wrong, doing everything she can to make her most impulsive friends to follow what she thinks is the right track. Despite that, she knows well that she cannot always sway them in decisions and makes it a point to follow them whenever they go, just so that she can be around to help out when trouble arises.

Top 8: Kamina (Gurren Lagann)

Kamina (カミナ, Kamina) was a young man from Jeeha Village, the founder and first leader of Team Gurren and deuteragonist of the first arc of Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. At first glance, Kamina is boisterous, hotheaded and arrogant. He demands recognition and seems hungry for greatness, illustrated in his tendency to call himself "the Mighty Kamina" and his signature catchphrase, "Just who the Hell do you think I am?!" He is an undeterred idealist, often to the point of ignorance; Yoko has described him as "a man of unlimited stupidity." Kamina is also very perverted, declaring that the urge to stare at beautiful women is the definition of a man.

However, Kamina is also extremely determined and never lets anything keep him down for long. Even discovering that his father was dead only made him solemn for a night or two (visibly at least). He is also devoted to defending and supporting his friends and loved ones, fighting with all his strength to protect them. In turn, he is very charismatic in the heat of battle, able to inspire even the timid Simon to accomplish great feats and almost single-handedly set the foundations for Team Dai-Gurren.

Despite his often brazen and practically insane actions, Kamina is fairly insightful, as his bombast and seemingly blind confidence usually mask his true intelligence in planning and combat. He even personally admits that his bravado and fearlessness is mostly a device he uses to hide his own worries and to support others, and that he thinks people like Simon are the real heroes.

Top 7: Sebas Tian (Overlord)

Sebas Tian (セバス・チャン), alas "The Iron Butler", is the head butler of the Great Tomb of Nazarick with several manservants and other butlers under his command. He was created by Touch Me. He is also the leader of the Pleiades Six Stars.

Although he is not one of the Floor Guardians, his power closely rivals theirs. In a way, he is independent of their chain of command. He originally served as Nazarick's last line of defense alongside the Pleiades on the 9th Floor, to give time for the guild, Ainz Ooal Gown, to prepare for their final stand in the Throne Room. Like his creator, Touch Me, Sebas Tian has a great deal of personal justice. Unlike many other denizens in Nazarick, he does not completely despise humans or see them as inferior creatures. Instead, he believes that some humans are good people and it is the duty of the strong to protect the weak. However, humans with an ugly nature disgust him and he will not hesitate to kill anyone who dares to oppose Nazarick. Sebas has a stoic nature, but also tends to question his own actions whether it was right or wrong of him to do them contrary to his master's order. Not sure why he does it, Sebas does believe that Touch Me's will is what encouragingly motivates him to act the way he does and that it conflicts with the will of his current master.

Top 6: Brago (Gash Bell)

Brago (ブラゴ, Burago), alongside his partner and bookkeeper Sherry Belmont, are considered the rivals of the main characters Zatch Bell and Kiyo Takamine, even though the teams fought a relatively small amount of times. Since their first appearance, they were one of the most powerful teams in the series, and have been seen burning more spellbooks than any other one. Brago is very quiet and is rarely seen socializing with other mamodos, he is often described as being "strong and cool". He is often seen crossing his arms or sticking them in his pockets. Not much is revealed about his life or personality, other than he resents weakness and especially requiring a human's help to win the demon kingship. However, despite often complaining that Sherry is too weak to help him, he thanks her for all that she has done for him in the final battle. He is extremely strong, often defeating other mamodo teams without even requiring the use of spells; because of his strength, which was gained from undergoing special elite training, many mamodo have come to fear him as one of the strongest. Brago's specialty is Gravity Magic.

Top 5: Guts (Berserk)

Guts (ガッツ Gattsu) , renowned as the "Black Swordsman", is a former mercenary and branded wanderer who travels the world in a constant internal struggle between pursuing his own ends and protecting those dear to him.

At one time driven solely by his will to survive, Guts finds purpose in life upon joining the Band of the Falcon, greatly helping in the faction's storied successes during the Hundred-Year War as captain of the band's raiders. He eventually becomes dissatisfied with clinging on to Griffith's dream, and departs from the band in pursuit of his own. Following the horrors of the Eclipse prompted by Griffith, Guts embarks on a two-year war against the God Hand and apostles, becoming increasingly embittered on his one-track quest for retribution. He in time realizes protecting his regressed lover is more important to him, as well as something he cannot do alone, and thus seemingly abandons his quest for revenge while fostering camaraderie with his new companions. Known for his air of austerity, Guts is a gruff, cynical man holding an overall bleak outlook on life. This is a consequence of enduring waves of suffering and numerous betrayals since his youth, with nearly all highlights of his life having, in time, become lows. In spite of his guarded, brooding exterior, he shows a more easygoing, compassionate side around the people he trusts, appearing markedly less unsociable and distant, though still retaining his dry candidness. Even as his inner darkness festers deep within him and its temptation becomes increasingly harder to resist, he retains his empathy and compassion, refusing to completely discard his humanity.

Top 4: Akemi Homura (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

Homura Akemi (暁美ほむら Akemi Homura) is one of the main characters in the Puella Magi Madoka Magica series. Ever since her arrival at Mitakihara Middle School, Homura is immediately depicted as being very intelligent, athletic, distant, and cold. It is revealed in episode four that she is only like this because she has seen so much suffering during her tenure as a magical girl. Because of this, she does not want Madoka Kaname to become a magical girl and tries to do anything in order to stop her from making a wish with Kyubey, going as far as to attempt to injure and even kill the cat-like creature. Despite her cold attitude towards others, she still very much cares for Madoka, as it is her sole objective to protect her due to the countless amount of blood, sweat, and tears she has shed over her jumps in time. Despite being regarded as emotionless by Sayaka Miki, Homura is far from it. Although she does not easily show signs of remorse, sadness, or pity, it is only because she had grown used to the suffering around her, and must put up a strong front to continue fighting for her goal. Homura herself has stated that she always feels badly with each life she's unable to save or alter, but nevertheless, it does not slow her down from staying true to her main objective in saving Madoka Kaname.

Top 3: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez (Bleach)

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez (グリムジョー・ジャガージャック, Gurimujō Jagājakku) is an Arrancar and was the Sexta (6th) Espada in Sōsuke Aizen's affiliated army. While appearing to be a laid-back individual, Grimmjow possesses a brutal, impulsive, and excessively violent personality alongside a lethally short temper. However, despite his aggression and obvious blood lust in battle, Grimmjow possesses a feral cunning and has a knack for quickly exploiting any opening his opponent reveals. In addition, he is blunt, sarcastic and quite sadistic, revealing a psychotic grin or laughing maniacally whenever he becomes excited. He is also very rude and quite disrespectful. Grimmjow uses none of the honorifics in the Japanese language, except when addressing Aizen (though he is quick to discard the formality when Aizen is not around), and refers to Orihime Inoue as woman in conversation. Grimmjow displays little respect for authority and says whatever is on his mind, regardless of whether or not it is appropriate. However, he does have some form of a code of honor, as he is unwilling to fight an injured Ichigo, bringing Orihime to heal him beforehand so that their battle will be a fair one, though he also wants to defeat Ichigo when he is at full strength.He also saves Orihime from Loly Aivirrne and Menoly Mallia, who were beating her up, to repay the debt of restoring his arm, though he immediately demands another favor afterwards.

Top 2: Kujo Jotaro (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

Jotaro Kujo (空条承太郎 , Kūjō Jōtarō) is the protagonist of Part 3 and also appears in Parts 4-6. Jotaro is the third and most recurring JoJo of the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure series.

Jotaro is a delinquent who lives an ordinary life until the Joestar Family's old enemy, DIO, returns. Jotaro travels to Egypt in order to save his mother and stop the Vampire once and for all.

Wielding the incredibly powerful Star Platinum, Jotaro is the first JoJo introduced with a Stand, and is among the most well-known characters of the series. Jotaro is introduced as a rough delinquent, but he has a gentle heart, and is loyal to those he likes. He is highly perceptive, intelligent and quick-witted while keeping a perpetually cool, slightly neutral or disinterested attitude. Jotaro's most noticeable trait is his seemingly aloof nature. He is a quiet individual, often satisfied with expressing himself in short phrases. While he was shown to be mildly anxious when something unanticipated happens, Jotaro almost never goes as far as to lose his cool.

Top 1: Charlotte Katakuri (One Piece)

Charlotte Katakuri ( シャーロット・カタクリ , Shārotto Katakuri) is the second son and third child of the Charlotte Family and the elder triplet brother of Daifuku and Oven. He is also one of the Three Sweet Commanders of the Big Mom Pirates and serves as Totto Land's Minister of Flour (粉大臣, Kona Daijin), governing over Komugi Island.

Due to his actions and role, he is the secondary antagonist in the second half of the Whole Cake Island Arc. Katakuri has a very serious, no-nonsense demeanor, caring greatly about his crew and family's objectives. With his heightened Kenbunshoku Haki allowing him to see a little bit into the future and make smart judgement calls, he is dedicated to efficiently dealing with all possible threats within his vicinity, and is thus among the few Charlotte children that can be seen taking action without instructions from Big Mom herself. Katakuri is a pragmatic individual who puts efficiency above almost everything else, to the point of being considered a perfectionist. He rarely brags about his abilities, instead being rather focused on accomplishing his goals as fast as possible, intercepting and defeating his enemies in a quick, effective manner while prioritizing the elimination of threats he perceives as potentially serious, going as far as taking extra steps to ensure they are stopped in case his mother and siblings fail to do so. He is also capable of extreme brutality as shown when he pondered on how he should maim Luffy with his trident. Though ruthless to opponents, he is extremely caring towards his family and subordinates. Katakuri is also a honorable man who dislikes other people interfering with his fights. Though he considers Luffy his enemy and desires to eliminate him personally before he can become a threat, he wishes to defeat him fairly. After discovering that Flampe was the one attacking Luffy and lowering his performance in the fight, Katakuri injured himself in the same spot he injured Luffy to compensate and angrily shouted at Flampe for interfering in his fight.

67 notes · View notes

court-queen · 4 years

Text

Otome characters you might like according to your OM! favourite (Lucifer, Asmo and Belphie)

I'm going to include both paid and free otome games. I'm also going to mention some games that aren’t otomes but have dating sim stuff (i.e Fire Emblem). This post is only my opinion and based on the games I've played. I hope these work as recommendations for you!

Lucifer

Hijikata Toshizo (Hakuouki): Hijikata is the first commander of the Shinsengumi, a short-tempred, but intelligent man. He is the most mature character from the main cast. Hijikata is very strict with the other commanders, who are very chaotic just like the demon brothers, and the protagonist, whom he distrusts at first. He also has a close relationship (though without any implications) with the Shinsengumi leader, similar to Diavolo. He lacks some of the kinky stuff Luci has, but leaving that aside, Hijikata might be a good route to play.

Jumin Han (Mystic Messenger): Jumin is a CEO who likes cats a bit too much. He is cold and centered on his work. The only close relationship he has is with the leader of the charity organization he belongs to, who is his best friend, and lacks any romantic experience. I would say Jumin is much less developed than Lucifer regarding to social interactions. Also, one of the characters has a strong distaste (which seems to be one-sided) for him. When you enter into his route, he is possesive, but in a slightly different way than Lucifer, more...over-protective. However, in some instances, he can have the same style of possesiveness as Lucifer. If you don’t mind he is less assertive, Jumin could be a very decent alternative.

Xander (Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest): Xander isn’t from an otome, so he doesn’t have as much romantic stuff, but he is the most similar character to Lucifer, story and character-wise imo. Xander is the crown prince of the country of Nohr, a stoic and wise man. He is the older brother of the royal family, so he has to assume all the responsabilities, taking questionable decisions and pushing away his own feelings in order to maintain peace and protect his family. The relationship with one of his siblings, Leo, is similar to the one Lucifer has with Satan (post Satan arc). Xander has also a very complicated relationship with his father: to keep it spoiler-free, let’s just say he is what would have happened if Lucifer hadn’t rebelled against God.

Nobunaga Oda (Ikemen Sengoku): A charismatic and intelligent warlord who is trying to unify Japan. Very bold with the MC. He basically wants to own her, winning Go matches and claiming a part of her body with each victory. It sounds somewhat fucked up at first, but tbf it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Nobunaga isn’t as strict as Lucifer, but when the moment comes he can be very serious.

I haven’t played it, but...I’ve been told that Victor from My Love’s Queen Choice, Jumin and Lucifer form the holy trinity of sugar daddies in mobile otomes. Chikage Kazama from Hakuouki isn't that similar to Luci, but he has some points his fans could enjoy a lot (he is one of my favourite LIs)

Asmodeus

None of these recommendations are as kinky as Asmo, sorry I don't play many +18 otomes. I still hope you like them Dx

Karma and Rumpel (Cinderella Phenomenon): I think both might work for someone who likes Asmo. First, Rumpel is quite a flirt. He has a curse that provokes him amnesia, but that doesn't stop him from trying to charm beautiful women. Then we have Karma, who has a curse that makes women fall in love with him, so he usually dresses as one to not attract them. He isn't that much of a flirt, but he is quite narcissistic. Put both in the same room, what could go wrong? Both characters end up having a decent depth and growth, so if you are one of those people who wants Asmo to be more than his quirks, you are probably going to enjoy them a lot.

Zen (Mystic Messenger): At first a narcissistic actor, then the most supportive and sweet character from all Mystic Messenger (and also the most stable). I would say he subverts the archetype of the flirt/narcissist in otomes. He has a past and context explaining why is he like that, and his route makes a twist with the rival in love with him. If you want a different focus of the archetype Zen is a really good option for you.

Ikki (Amnesia): Ikki has a special charm that attracts women. This charm will cause the protagonist in Amnesia to get into lots of problems with people who are totally in love with him. He isn’t narcissistic nor a flirt, but if you are interested in a story about how might be dating Asmo with the consequences of his powers in other people, Ikki's route could interest you.

Yuri (Nameless): Yuri has also a charm that makes people being attracted to him. However, it isn't as exaggerated as Ikki or Asmo especially because all the main characters in Nameless attract a lot of people. He is a flirt and narcissist, practically at the same level as Asmo (I had a lot of fun with his moments). Imo, he is the most intelligent person in the game, and reads quite well the other characters. In his route we will learn more about his behavior, and he will be forced to grow and leave behind his attitude.

Sylvain from Fire Emblem Three Houses and Jiyeon from Dandelion might also be good recommendations, it’s just that they are a bit more...controversial.

Belphie

These characters are very spoilery, I'll try my best to explain why you might like them.

Unknown (Mystic Messenger): A twin, just like Belphie. Both have violent episodes, even trying to hurt the protagonist. They direct their hate to certain characters, whom they consider responsibles of their miserable situation. At heart, they are really kind and sensitive, but have changed because of their circunstances. I would say Unknown's route doesn't portray him as well as the rest of the game, but regardless you might enjoy it if you like Belphie.

“Nameless” (Nameless): Okay, this one quite spoilery, I'll try to explain it without saying much. Belphie's situation? Imagine it but worse, with nobody knowing where you are and not being able to try anything to escape. Then combine his hate for humans and his love for Lilith, and you'll have the complicated feelings this character has towards the protagonist of Nameless. For me, he is literally Belphie, just much more dramatic and dark...

Monshiro (Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly): if the character before is a darker Belphie, this is a lighter Belphie. All the characters in Psychedelica are trapped in a mansion with monsters inside. This mysterious man appears to help the protagonist to fight them at certain times. Even if the rest of characters are very suspicious of him, he seems to be kind and calm, to the point he doesn't appear to know much about the situation the main characrers are involved in. When we continue advancing through the story, we will learn his real identity, and the sad truth about him. There is also another important similarity with Belph, but, spoilers.

Yeonho (Nameless): Like you can guess from the other character, Nameless is darker than other otomes. Yeonho is a sweet boy, very dependant on the protagonist. He is shy, and doesn't like to socialize with people, even if he is quite popular in his class. When you enter into his route, he becomes a little bit obssesive, and some of his endings are terrifying. If you are a masochist like me enjoy being alert with a sweet character that could break in any moment, Yeonho's route is for you.

I would want to recommend another character from Nameless, who I think has some points that could remind of Belphie, but given that this is not apparent at first, I'll let you discover by yourselves if you play the game.

I wouldn't consider them that similar, but Ukyo from Amnesia is quite the Belphie experience. If I had to pick an only route among otome games I would pick this one. Totally recommended. Kei Okazaki from Collar x Malice has also some quirks Belphie fans might enjoy.

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus #nameless #cinderella phenomenon #ikemen sengoku #hakuouki #otome #mystic messenger #psychedelica of the black butterfly #amnesia

69 notes · View notes

lgbtqiahistoricalromance · 4 years

Photo

Finishing Out Summer 2020 TBR List! - Updated 7/31

Starting back in March, I was adding novel after novel for purposes of reading during social distancing and Summer 2020. I’m hoping you all found some great reads, even if you haven’t been able to read them all. *Here is another batch to round out Summer 2020, and I’m thrilled by the selection that includes sapphic, trans MCs, and more eras and locations than any list to date.

Leather and Lace by Rebel Carter (Good Sky series #5) - May 20th - sapphic

Mary Sophia James came to Gold Sky, Montana to find a husband at the insistence of her overbearing mother. Striking out in spectacular fashion after setting her eye on Julian Baptiste, her options are dwindling, and time is running out. She needs to find a man to marry before her condition becomes…obvious. Her mother’s prejudices and sharp tongue aren’t helping matters and Mary, to her shame, hasn’t behaved much better. But all her plans are derailed when she spots the most beautiful person she’s ever seen across the town square. Alex Pierce is strong, intriguing, looks stunning in a pair of trousers…and a woman.

Gold Sky is accepting of all types of love, and that between women is no different. Still, Alex didn’t expect to be so floored by the sight of the firey haired, yet fragile looking young woman. Mary needs to be married and Alex has a solution. Because in Gold Sky, Montana there are many ways to be married…and not all of them include a man.

Leather and Lace is a 35k word novella set at the same time as the events of book 2, Hearth and Home. It includes a passionate and romantic f/f love in a town where diversity, and love, reign supreme.

Note : Leather and Lace has a bit of mail-order, arranged married, kind of secret baby with some foreced proximity sprinkled on top!

The Sugared Game by KJ Charles (The Will Darling Adventures #2) - August 26th

It’s been two months since Will Darling saw Kim Secretan, and he doesn’t expect to see him again. What do a rough and ready soldier-turned-bookseller and a disgraced, shady aristocrat have to do with each other anyway? But when Will encounters a face from the past in a disreputable nightclub, Kim turns up, as shifty, unreliable, and irresistible as ever. And before Will knows it, he’s been dragged back into Kim’s shadowy world of secrets, criminal conspiracies, and underhand dealings. This time, though, things are underhanded even by Kim standards. This time, the danger is too close to home. And if Will and Kim can’t find common ground against unseen enemies, they risk losing everything.

The Revolutionary and the Rogue by Blake Ferre - August 24th

Perrin deVesey knows pain. As a member of Crimson Rose, a secret club for men who love men, he’s taken the vow “to stand and shield.” Standing together during these perilous times is the only thing keeping their necks from the guillotine. Now their leader is using the club to rescue wrongly accused traitors. After losing a past lover to an unjust execution, the decision to support this treasonous cause is easy…until a devastatingly handsome Committee Officer complicates Perrin’s whole world. Officer Henri Chevalier hates aristocrats. But the man he finds while investigating Crimson Rose is more than just wealthy and fancily clothed. He’s a rogue that could take him to the heart of the uprising and stop it before it starts. His plan to get close to Perrin and steal his secrets backfires, though, when Henri finds himself falling for the damned aristo and his dangerous smile. His heart is even more conflicted as he learns the truth behind their cause…and the truth his own people have been hiding. Together they must make the choice—to stand and shield at any cost—and their love might be the deadliest weapon in all of France.

Healing Lance by MD Grimm (A Warrior’s Redemption #1)- July 28th

A baby’s laughter. A mind uncaged. Lance is known as Scourge, the warrior in the black armor, the dog of the warlord Ulfr Blackwolf. He was just a boy when Ulfr found him and molded him into the perfect weapon. He slaughters and pillages on command, merciless and numb, devoid of emotions. Then a baby girl laughs at him during a raid. And everything changes. When Gust, a talented healer, is out deer hunting and stumbles across a magnificent horse bearing a mortally wounded rider, he has no idea that his life is about to change forever. Gust applies all his skills to his patient, determined to save the rider’s life, and is rewarded when the man opens his eyes. As friendship, and more, bloom between warrior and healer, so does the danger over the horizon. Ulfr has not forgotten, and Lance must take his first steps on the long road to redemption.

The rest of the series is either out this Summer or finishes in Sept!

Unhallowed: A Novel of Widdershins (Rath & Rune Book #1) by Jordan L Hawk - July 17th

Monsters. Murder. Librarians. Librarian Sebastian Rath is the only one who believes his friend Kelly O’Neil disappeared due to foul play. But without any clues or outside assistance, there’s nothing he can do to prove it. When bookbinder Vesper Rune is hired to fill the vacancy left by O’Neil, he receives an ominous letter warning him to leave. After he saves Sebastian from a pair of threatening men, the two decide to join forces and get to the truth about what happened to O’Neil. But Vesper is hiding secrets of his own, ones he doesn’t dare let anyone learn. Secrets that grow ever more dangerous as his desire for Sebastian deepens. Because Kelly O’Neil was murdered. And if Sebastian and Ves don’t act quickly enough, they’ll be the next to die.

My Heart’s in the Highlands by Amy Hoff - July 17th - sapphic - time travel

The year is 1888. Brilliant and beautiful, Lady Jane Crichton has fought the constraints of her Victorian Edinburgh upbringing to become one of the first women to attend university for medicine. Denied a degree because of her gender, she decides to marry a closeted gay man, providing him with political and social cover and herself with the time and money to pursue her scientific interests—one of which is a time machine. Jane’s machine works…but not exactly as she expected, and soon she has crash-landed in the 13th-century Scottish Highlands. There she is rescued by a wild, red-haired warrior woman, Ainslie nic Dòmhnaill, next in line to the chiefship of the great Clan Donald, the rulers of the Sea Kingdom of the Isles. Despite the constant threat of attacks from enemy clans, harsh winters and a touch of homesickness, Jane finds herself bewitched by this land, this time and this magnificent woman. The rough and warlike Ainslie also feels the magic and revels in a passion and love neither she nor Jane had ever imagined. But Jane is hiding a dangerous secret—one that threatens to tragically transform their Highland fairy tale.

Kinship and Kindness by Kara Jorgensen (A Paranormal Society Romance #1) - releases July 29th -trans MC

Bennett Reynard needs one thing: to speak to the Rougarou about starting a union for shifters in New York City before the delegation arrives. When his dirigible finally lands in Louisiana, he finds the Rougarou is gone and in his stead is his handsome son, Theo, who seems to care for everyone but himself. Hoping he can still petition the Rougarou, Bennett stays only to find he is growing dangerously close to Theo Bisclavret. Theo Bisclavret thought he had finally come to terms with never being able to take his father’s place as the Rougarou, but with his father stuck in England and a delegation of werewolves arriving in town, Theo’s quiet life is thrown into chaos as he and his sister take over his duties. Assuming his father’s place has salted old wounds, but when a stranger arrives offering to help, Theo knows he can’t say no, even if Mr. Reynard makes him long for things he had sworn off years ago. As rivals arrive to challenge Theo for power and destroy the life Bennett has built, they know they must face their greatest fears or risk losing all they have fought for. With secrets threatening to topple their worlds, can Theo and Bennett let down their walls before it’s too late?

More under the cut...!!!!

My Highland Laird: Sci-Regency Book #5 by JL Langley - releases August 10th

Bannon Thompson, talented artist and youngest son of the Duke of Eversleigh, is hastily shipped off after his latest indiscretion. After crashing on rural Skye, leaving him and his valet the sole survivors of a diplomatic mission, Bannon must navigate the complexities of a primitive clan society and take up a role he never wanted: helping a sexy Highlander ensure the safety of both their planets.

Laird Ciaran MacKay wants nothing more than to keep his clan safe from the off-world intruders who killed his father. Suspecting complicity among his own people, he has no choice but to trust outsiders from a spaceship crash—and he can’t seem to fight his attraction to the stubborn redhead. Drawn to the handsome laird, Bannon risks a bold affair. But there is more at stake than reputations as they find two lost Regelens and uncover the Intergalactic Navy’s plot.

Artful Deception by Jackson Marsh (The Clearwater Myseries Book #5)

“Deception. The lie that tells the truth."

A damaged painting tempts Lord Clearwater to a final battle with his arch-enemy, and it's not a summons he can ignore.

Archer must free his homicidal brother from incarceration and reinstate him to the title. He will be left humiliated and penniless, but free to live his life with Silas with no threat of exposure. The alternative is death.

Drawing inspiration from a work of art, Clearwater manipulates a series of illusions to stay one step ahead of the endgame. While James, Tom and Silas race to solve clues and reach Archer before the fatal deadline, the assassin, Dorjan, remains hot on his heels ready to kill.

The sixth book in The Clearwater Mysteries series brings back popular characters from previous adventures in a fast-paced, twisting mystery that can have only one of two possible endings.

Or perhaps one of three. After all, deception is the lie that tells the truth.

Ten or Fifteen Miles by BL Maxwell - May 27th

Tim Latham had only been riding for the Pony Express for a week before he has to show the new guy the trail. Being raised on a farm in the Sacramento area, the Pony Express gave him an opportunity to see more of the country beyond his family’s little plot of land. He loves everything about the job: the adventure, the scenery, and the speed. Racing the wind on the back of a horse was as close to perfect as he could imagine.

Jeremiah Rollins grew up in San Francisco under the shadow of his father's successful shipping business. But Jeremiah craves the adventure he reads about in the dime novels he can’t get enough of. On a whim, and despite his father’s disapproval, he signs up for the Pony Express and leaves his old life behind for the steep, rocky trails that cross the Sierra Nevada. Both men are excited to begin their journey on their first ride together to Nevada Territory. They set out, making their way from station to station, racing as fast as their horses can carry them, and their friendship grows every mile. They both wanted adventure, but they may end up getting more than they dreamed of. Every ten or fifteen miles brings new experiences, and new feelings that grow with each mile they pass.

People Like Us by Ruby Moone (Winsford Green #2) - July 21st

Arthur Fitch clawed his way out of the violence and poverty of the slums of London to become a valet to the aristocracy. His ambition to secure a higher position led him to a disastrous appointment with a cold, brutal man, and when things come to a head, Arthur is forced to flee into a snowstorm to find safety. Joseph Wilkinson is the Winsford Green blacksmith. He has a good life, good friends, owns a thriving business, but at the end of the day when he goes home, loneliness consumes him. When he stumbles upon a small man determinedly trudging through the snowstorm, he invites him into his home to shelter. Arthur Fitch is older, smart-mouthed, and as prickly as hell. But, as Joe peels back the layers, he discovers a warm, funny, vulnerable man whose tastes in the bedchamber leave Joe gasping and desperate for more. Trouble is, having found the real Arthur Fitch, how can he convince him that life in a small town can be infinitely better than working for an Earl? That love really is possible for people like them? Particularly when Arthur’s past catches up with him in horrifying fashion.

Seaworthy bu KL Noone (Character Bleed Book #1) - August 1st - bisexual MC - contemporary, but with a lot of historical touches

An epic motion picture! A gay Napoleonic War love story! Ballrooms and battles at sea! Romantic happy endings on the silver screen! And a film that’ll change everything for its stars ... Jason Mirelli can’t play adrenaline-fueled action heroes forever. He’s getting older, plus the action star parts have grown a little thinner since he came out as bisexual. This role could finally let him be seen as a serious dramatic actor, and he needs it to go well -- for his career, and because he’s fallen in love with the story and the chance to tell it. The first problem? He’ll be playing a ship’s captain ... and he hasn’t exactly mentioned his fear of water. The second problem? His co-star: award-winning, overly talkative, annoyingly adorable -- and openly gay – box office idol Colby Kent. Colby’s always loved the novel this film’s based on, and he leapt at the chance to adapt it, now that he has the money and reputation to make it happen. But scars and secrets from his past make filming a love story difficult ... until Jason takes his hand and wakes up all his buried desires. Jason could be everything Colby’s ever wanted: generous and kind, a fantastic partner on set, not to mention those heroic muscles. But Colby just can’t take that chance ... or can he? As their characters fall in love and fight a war, Colby and Jason find themselves falling, too ... and facing the return of their own past demons. But together they just might win ... and write their own love story.

The Engineer (Magic & Steam Book #1) by CS Poe - May 28th

1881—Special Agent Gillian Hamilton is a magic caster with the Federal Bureau of Magic and Steam. He’s sent to Shallow Grave, Arizona, to arrest a madman engineer known as Tinkerer, who’s responsible for blowing up half of Baltimore. Gillian has handled some of the worst criminals in the Bureau’s history, so this assignment shouldn’t be a problem. But even he’s taken aback by a run-in with the country’s most infamous outlaw, Gunner the Deadly. Gunner is also stalking Shallow Grave in search of Tinkerer, who will stop at nothing to take control of the town’s silver mines. Neither Gillian nor Gunner are willing to let Tinkerer hurt more innocent people, so they agree to a very temporary partnership. If facing illegal magic, Gatling gun contraptions, and a wild engineer in America’s frontier wasn’t enough trouble for a city boy, Gillian must also come to terms with the reality that he’s rather fond of his partner. But even if they live through this adventure, Gillian fears there’s no chance for love between a special agent and outlaw. Based on the short story, “Gunner the Deadly.” Entirely revised, newly expanded, and Book One in the exciting new steampunk series, Magic & Steam.

Pirate’s Promise (Pirate’s of Port Royal Book #1) by Jules Radcliffe - May 12th - the rest of the series is also out this Summer!

Press-ganged as a boy, Job Wright must learn how to live as a free man.

For years Job has been a captive, treated as a servant—and sometimes more—by a crooked merchant crew. Until the day his ship is attacked by pirates. English pirates, no less, and Brethren of the Coast, a brotherhood of free men who owe allegiance to no one but themselves. Job thinks he's been rescued at last, but he's badly mistaken. As an Englishman aboard a Spanish ship, the Brethren believe he's a traitor and an enemy. But just when pirate justice is about to be delivered, Garrett Dubh intervenes. He both saves Job's life and recruits him to the pirate ship Audacious.

Surrounded by a fearsome crew, Job finds protection under Garrett's wing. He's ready to do anything for the handsome pirate—things he'd never willingly do for another man. But Garrett ignores Job's shy overtures. He believes Job is too traumatised by his past. Too young to know what he wants. And nothing Job says will change his mind.

To show Garrett he can take care of himself, Job leaves the safety of the Audacious. He joins the most ruthless Brethren crew in the Caribbean, led by the enigmatic and cruel Rusé.

But in the French pirate haven of Tortuga, thoughtless actions can have fatal consequences, something Job is about to discover. And this time, Garrett isn't there to save him.

Chasing a Legacy by D. A Ravenscroft - May 2020

Against the tense political backdrop of the Second French Empire, siblings Camille and Marianne find themselves wrestling with personal demons both past and present. As Camille strives to keep family secrets buried and unveil a plot against them, Marianne becomes involved with the handsome Baron Auclair and his mysterious younger sister. Little do the siblings know that soon their very different lives will come crashing together…

The sequel to a sequel! In this follow up to the unofficial Les Mis sequel ‘Chasing a Ghost’, we follow Enjolras and Grantaire’s children, Camille and Marianne, through dangers untold and family strife. Set in 1866, towards the end of the Second Empire, this story has murder, mystery, romance, drama, comedy, and a pet lion. And yes, it’s very, very queer.

https://www.lulu.com/en/gb/shop/d-a-ravenscroft/chasing-a-legacy/paperback/product-y58wrq.html

Two Rogues Make a Right by Cat Sebastian (Seducing the Sedgwicks Book #3) - June 23rd

Will Sedgwick can’t believe that after months of searching for his oldest friend, Martin Easterbrook is found hiding in an attic like a gothic nightmare. Intent on nursing Martin back to health, Will kindly kidnaps him and takes him to the countryside to recover, well away from the world. Martin doesn’t much care where he is or even how he got there. He’s much more concerned that the man he’s loved his entire life is currently waiting on him hand and foot, feeding him soup and making him tea. Martin knows he’s a lost cause, one he doesn’t want Will to waste his life on. As a lifetime of love transforms into a tender passion both men always desired but neither expected, can they envision a life free from the restrictions of the past, a life with each other?

Best Laid Plaids by Ella Stainton (Kilty Pleasures #1)- August 31st

In 1920s Scotland, even ghosts wear plaid.

Welcome to a sexy, spooky new paranormal historical series from debut author Ella Stainton.

Scotland, 1928

Dr. Ainsley Graham is cultivating a reputation as an eccentric.

Two years ago, he catastrophically ended his academic career by publicly claiming to talk to ghosts. When Joachim Cockburn, a WWI veteran studying the power of delusional thinking, arrives at his door, Ainsley quickly catalogues him as yet another tiresome Englishman determined to mock his life’s work.

But Joachim is tenacious and openhearted, and Ainsley’s intrigued despite himself. He agrees to motor his handsome new friend around to Scotland’s most unmistakable hauntings. If he can convince Joachim, Ainsley might be able to win back his good name and then some. He knows he’s not crazy—he just needs someone else to know it, too.

Joachim is one thesis away from realizing his dream of becoming a psychology professor, and he’s not going to let anyone stop him, not even an enchanting ginger with a penchant for tartan and lewd jokes. But as the two travel across Scotland’s lovely—and definitely, definitely haunted—landscape, Joachim’s resolve starts to melt. And he’s beginning to think that an empty teaching post without the charming Dr. Graham would make a very poor consolation prize indeed…

The Gentleman’s Thief by Isobel Starling (Resurrectionist Book #2)

Tuesday 28th December 1897. Mr. Benedict Hannan, the owner of Hannan’s Auction House in Fitzrovia, London, receives an unexpected visitor at his Bloomsbury home. The man on his stoop sends Benedict’s heart into a flutter, and on inviting the mysterious stranger into his house, he is inviting mystery, adventure, and volcanic desire.

Sebastian Cavell—master thief, gives the impression he has sought out Benedict for the sake of business, but the kind of business Sebastian has in mind has nothing to do with making money!

Cavell has been tasked with finding the whereabouts of a missing German aristocrat. With Benedict’s society connections, Sebastian gains access to his Gentleman’s Club and to men whose behavior is not so gentlemanly!

Benedict is pulled into the circle of a dangerous secret society and he not only learns the truth about the mysterious Sebastian Cavell, but learns the truth about himself and all he truly desires.

The Curse of the Mummy’s Heart by Julia Talbot - June 30th

Something is rising in the desert sand, and between two adventurous men.

Famous 1920s Hollywood actor Douglas Fitzhugh and his brother Donnie are headed for Egypt on a classic monster movie quest. Their mysterious benefactor, a man they call Grant, has sent them to find a stranded archaeologist, and all they have to go on is a handwritten journal. That's just the kind of adventure Douglas loves, and he never passes up the chance to get away from his studio-driven life.

Charles Angeloff is also on his way to Egypt with a special object his father has asked him to return to the tomb he ripped it from. Charles is just out of university, and when he meets Douglas, he falls hard for Douglas' charm and his worldly ways.

As they travel, more men of adventure join them: a cowboy, a rich seminary student, and a librarian. When they're all together, it's like magic happens, and the men all realize they're on a mission to stop the horror that stirs beneath the desert sands, even as that creature sets its sights on Charles. Will Douglas and Charles lose each other just when they've found what they both think is the man they want to be with forever?

Starcrossed: A Paranormal Historical Romance (Magic in Manhattan #2) by Allie Therin - May 18th

When everything they’ve built is threatened, only their bond remains… 1925 New York Psychometric Rory Brodigan’s life hasn’t been the same since the day he met Arthur Kenzie. Arthur’s continued quest to contain supernatural relics that pose a threat to the world has captured Rory’s imagination—and his heart. But Arthur’s upper-class upbringing still leaves Rory worried that he’ll never measure up, especially when Arthur’s aristocratic ex arrives in New York. For Arthur, there’s only Rory. But keeping the man he’s fallen for safe is another matter altogether. When a group of ruthless paranormals throw the city into chaos, the two men’s strained relationship leaves Rory vulnerable to a monster from Arthur’s past. With dark forces determined to tear them apart, Rory and Arthur will have to draw on every last bit of magic up their sleeves. And in the end, it’s the connection they’ve formed without magic that will be tested like never before.

Another Chance For Love by Ellie Thomas - July 4th

Former British Army Lieutenant Adam Merryweather survived the Western Front of WWI and has slowly recovered from his injuries. But can he heal from a broken heart? Torn between family duty and personal happiness, he sacrificed his love for Alf and has never ceased to regret it in the two years since the war ended. Adam is slowly putting his empty life back together, working for the family firm in the city centre of Bristol and trying to stop his mother’s meddling to find him the perfect socially acceptable bride. When he happens to meet Alf out of the blue, Adam is determined to try again. But convincing Alf to give him another chance may be too much to hope for. Can a chance meeting bring them back together? Or has Adam lost another chance for love forever?

The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows by Olivia Waite - July 28th - sapphic

When Agatha Griffin finds a colony of bees in her warehouse, it’s the not-so-perfect ending to a not-so-perfect week. Busy trying to keep her printing business afloat amidst rising taxes and the suppression of radical printers like her son, the last thing the widow wants is to be the victim of a thousand bees. But when a beautiful beekeeper arrives to take care of the pests, Agatha may be in danger of being stung by something far more dangerous…

Penelope Flood exists between two worlds in her small seaside town, the society of rich landowners and the tradesfolk. Soon, tensions boil over when the formerly exiled Queen arrives on England’s shores—and when Penelope’s long-absent husband returns to Melliton, she once again finds herself torn, between her burgeoning love for Agatha and her loyalty to the man who once gave her refuge.

As Penelope finally discovers her true place, Agatha must learn to accept the changing world in front of her. But will these longing hearts settle for a safe but stale existence or will they learn to fight for the future they most desire?

*If more come to my attention after this is posted, they will be added!!!

#lgbt romance #historical romance #sapphic #trans romance #f/f romance #m/m romance #books

31 notes · View notes