#idk I have a lot to say on the subject

[faithless-companion]

I think a lot of you miss the point of legally blonde, Elle doesn’t succeed until she starts taking herself seriously. “Serious” is literally an arc word.

#I’m not gonna pretend there’s not hyperfeminine propaganda lmao #but it’s not my fault if that’s all you got from the movie #it’s an imperfect movie #but it’s also one where the rival women stop fighting each other and support each other instead #and the main character realizes she wants to take herself more seriously as a person #maybe you have to be blonde to get it 😔😔😔 #I’m joking but also sort of not bc people will think you’re a bimbo simply for having a hair color #it is a huge Clinique commercial though lmao #idk I have a lot to say on the subject #i don’t even think the movie is about how “you can be feminine and badass at the same time!!1!” like a lot of li gems do #basically I think most people see it surface level #from all sides #basically I’m the only person who gets it smh

[captain-lovelace]

#my poetry #Horuspoetry #This one’s never gonna get professionally published so here it is #I usually hate writing lowercase poetry but I thought the unfinished look it gives #poems worked with the subject matter #I also wanted to work in a space detailing the experience of growing up neurodivergent #where you are functionally gendered as a failure #A lot of the details (the burying or the hands-to-eyes) are based on my own life. As is like. The general feeling. Which was basically my #standard from ages 3-9. the description of things outside is based on the memories I have of my old backyard when I was really little #And of the park I used to go to #I have a lot of memories of thinking of myself as basically already dead but also not really *understanding* the difference between being #dead and alive? #Idk. I think the perspective I am writing from is that of the child #but also in some ways I’ve noticed the way I behave towards my memories of my past self resembles the ableist way adults treated me when I #was a kid #As if somehow #There was something just… wrong with me and me only and so I deserved it #So this was also an attempt to show compassion to that child and break from that belief. To say ‘this was fucked up’ #And that I don’t believe that there was something wrong with me after all and even if there HAD been I wouldn’t have deserved that treatmen #No one does

[lord-squiggletits]

Speaking of Tyrest. A lot of people forget that he treated Pharma with absolute disdain, not only using him as a test subject for a clearly painful mass murder machine, but talking to Pharma like he saw him as nothing but some henchman to order around that was nothing more than a 'diseased cripple' if Tyrest hadn't come to rescue him.

Like it really is an interesting background dynamic with some curious implications, but when you look at fandom posts from around that issue/the years after, for some reason people just saw "Pharma worked with Tyrest" and concluded Pharma is a card carrying bigot ksjfnskxkd. Like yeah Pharma didn't do anything to stop Tyrest but it seems his main beef with the Autobots was with Ratchet in particular and maybe a general disdain for his ex-comrades. As well as continuing to hate Decepticons which like, not even the "good Autobots" are immune to (even in Pharma's introduction, First Aid says in his journal something like "yeah we all hate Decepticons, but Pharma REALLY hates them"). And despite what fandom likes to construe there's really no evidence in IDW1 that Autobots and Decepticons are different "races" or "types" of Cybertronians, so Pharma hating Decepticons really isn't a bigotry/robot racism thing. And instead probably has something to do with, idk, the 4 million year long galaxy-spanning blood feud war, or maybe being blackmailed and tortured into insanity by the Biggest and Most Decepticon-y of Decepticons.

Tyrest treated Pharma like trash, the other Decepticons working for Tyrest (how come no one ever brings that up btw) also hated him, so if anything it seems that Pharma was more of a rogue element only staying with Tyrest bc he was his best option and probably had no way to even escape.

I'm glad that at least in recent years the fandom has acquired a keen reading eye and good taste to finally recognize Pharma as the (accidentally) complex character he is instead of making him some posh, racist Starscream clone SHSJDGSGDH

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #yeah i'm apologisting again i guess my mental health is somewhat okay again dkdkkxckkddkd #(my followers seeing me post about pharma) nature is healing #there's also that line where pharma says 'maybe i can help' and skids is like #'fuck off and hope we don't beat you to death after this is over' #they didnt know that pharma was a test subject of the killswitch but wow #that's prolly one of the most out of pocket moments of the story that ive never seen anyone mention #honestly that moment is why i think JRO didnt intend pharma to be That Deep #i feel like that sort of 'not even other autobots like him' treatment is something #that comes up a lot in JRO's villain writing. or like asshole behavior towards some characters #is just plot events proceeding as usual. nothing to see just villains getting their due #tho tbh pharma's character in general suffers from the problem that he's so closely related to a main/major characyer #that it wouldve made way more sense for him to be written in earlier #so all his connections w/ ratchet and the plot had to be established retroactively #also speaking of 'asshole behavior excused bc it's towards a villain' #all those times when people are like (fucking amazing piece of medical research by pharma) #'then he started murdering his patients. what a piece of shit' #like idk it could have been intentional but imo all my readings of pharma were not really intended by JRO #and i'm fully just headcanoning and constructing theories on my own #like pharma was simply not important enough or a major enough character to get fleshed ojt #so basically we get enough pieces of him to establish continuity and a general timeline of his life and thats all

[aro-culture-is]

quick note - this blog is gonna be sparse again for at least this week. trying new medications and tbh initial side effects are not super pleasant + actual effects build up. as a result: currently as if unmedicated for mental health, with anxiety+ side effect, extra fatigue, dizziness, and fatigue. it's uh, sure something.

totally recognize that most of y'all know we're absent at times due to health things, just wanted to give a heads up that this one is at least anticipated.

#fun fact sometimes condensing meds just means poorer treatment of some conditions #this is a re-expansion + new thing #so that instead of poorly treating my mental health and using an unusually high dose SNRI for another (physical) condition #i will hopefully both be in less pain AND not depressed af AND also have an appetite again #i doubt i will be lucky and not have a fucked stomach due to meds but one can hope that an appetite will allow me to eat foods that upset #my stomach a lot less #my health is forever a massive balancing act #every time a medical thing is like 'so what meds do u take' i'm like here i wrote it down for u #and they're like 'oh. ooookay. let me just...' *five minutes of typing and clicking later* #'so! what did you come in for again? uhuh. you said you experience pain daily? with your chronic pain thing? hm. have you tried yoga?' #/gen #like. straight up every time i say 'i am in pain all the time due to fibromyalgia' they are like 'ooh studies say regular exercise helps' #and like. theoretically yes! but also. i would be lying if i said the fibromyalgia studies i've skimmed don't set off general 'bad science' #alarm bells in my brain #like... cool you performed a fibromyalgia study with... all male lab rats? mhmm? so are you aware fibromyalgia appears to occur #overwhelmingly in women? like. data seems to suggest between 70-85%? #(not that the data can't still indicate things but it certainly makes male rats a poor choice of model for tests on it) #also just... idk i've looked at some metaanalysis and been like 'okay cool theory and for all i know about human bio or bio in general that #sounds more or less correct BUT. you never discussed that one study on this subject that did NOT support your conclusion. #and that's 1) interesting when it was the most diverse group of subjects and the exceptions often teach just as much as the 'rule' #2) just shitty science. tell me how your theory is still credible when some evidence doesn't fit the model. #like... 'given that all other studies were primarily conducted on white american women in their 30s to 40s it is possible that this model #only explains (the early effects of fibro since that's a typical onset period) / (a possible genetic link primarily found in white women) / #(a possible sign of bias in diagnosis that demonstrates the possibility that there are different causes) / combinations of all of those #like... idk a paper that just throws out things that don't support it is a pretty big red flag #it doesn't mean the conclusion is entirely incorrect but it is often important to understand the context in which it applies #like... it's very easy to jump to an incorrect conclusion if you used something in the wrong context #ie: thumbs up is a good job / positive thing in a lot of western civilizations. teenage kee once went to china and discovered it to be #neutral to offensive in many areas outside of major tourist locations that were used to it #anyways i gotta sleep

[gibbearish]

kinda frustrating how we've spent the last few months acknowledging how a lot of well intentioned but guilt trippy social justice posts are like specifically designed to worm into ocd ppls brains and then now every single post abt palestine is "i dont care how bad your mental health is, i dont care how bad looking at all this makes you feel, if you don't read every single post you see on this topic in full you are a horrible person and directly contributing to their deaths. 'waaaah my mental health' well at least youre not being bombed, did you think about that??" and its like. i absolutely get where youre coming from but you dont get to complain that guilt tripping is bad then turn around and use it anyways because you think the cause youre using it for is worthwhile. like. everyone thinks the cause theyre using it for is worthwhile, thats why theyre using it. but its still a shit way to do it

#like when you make a tumblr post to your tumblr blog youre not guilt tripping people who disagree with you #youre guilt tripping your followers who if theyre still following you probably already agree with what youre saying #and esp on a topic with so much brutality involved like. yeah OBVIOUSLY theres people who have to look away #like. yall know a bunch of these posts and articles and videos show graphic injuries in them right? #like i physically cant watch news videos abt this bc i will spend days with my brain making me imagine #peoples deaths in graphic detail specifically because it knows that will upset me. and i would prefer not to do that #in fact me doing that helps palestinians exactly as much as finishing my brussel sprouts helps starving kids #by which i mean none. its just a cheap guilt trip to get you to do something you don't want to #which when it's brussel sprouts thats whatever but when its 'deliberately expose yourself to extremely triggering #things otherwise youre a bad person'. not so much #idk i feel like maybe its due to ppl feeling. agitated abt not being able to do anything abt it #like the government isnt listening and we're a world away so physically /all/ we can do really is sit and watch #so i can understand a) wanting to find someone to lash out at to alleviate that feeling #like if you cant stop the actual problem at the very least you can shout down the people supporting it right? #and b) seeing 'not watching' or even just 'not watching as closely as i am' as a transgression #bc well its all we can do so if youre not even doing that you must be bad #and its like. i really do get it. but the whole world is watching right now‚ like this is THE big news thing happening rn #so a few people choosing to avoid to subject will not make a single iota of difference #idk. i guess what im saying is if youre feeling the urge to yell at someone for not looking close enough #just donate some money to a support fund instead itll do a lot more

[brittlebutch]

Desperately trying to make sense of Alex's motivations in Season Two and you know, I do eventually have to wonder if maybe Alex wasn't actually lying in the majority of those tapes.

Like, we tend to assume that Alex's motivations have been a consistent throughline since the college years, but do we actually know that that's the case? Do we know for sure that Alex was acting in deliberate, calculated ways in 2006; or could it be that he's telling the Truth on those olds tapes when he says he's blacking out and can't remember what's happening to anyone? After all, if we're assuming that Season 2 Alex's motivations are the exact same as his motives in Season 3, then it doesn't make any sense at all that he spend months working with Jay to try to find Amy; Season 3 Alex would have attempted to kill Jay like, on sight just to get things over with as quickly as possible and contain the spread of contamination as best as he could.

But, maybe, if Alex really had been separated from Amy after the events of the 04-04-10 tape, and if he really doesn't know where she is, then maybe that could make things start to make more sense. Maybe he really had been watching Jay's channel, and seeing Jay start going through the same things he went through in college without things devolving into violence and disappearances, and wondered if things maybe could play out differently this time. Maybe he really did send that tape to Jay to ask him for help, maybe he really was just trying to find Amy.

But then, instead of actually being helpful, Jay makes it extremely clear that he's a lot more interested in stalking Alex than he is in finding Amy. Alex asked for help, and instead there's a bunch of masked dudes on Jay's heels that keep attacking him, Jay is breaking into his house, stealing his things, leading the Operator right to him all over again, keeps trying to get other people (namely: Jessica -- if Alex is being honest when he says that his call reassuring her that Amy had been found was an effort to make Sure she stayed away from everything that was happening) involved; and instead of anything getting better, instead of anyone finding Amy, things are just getting worse all over again.

It's not until after the incident at the tunnel that things seem to start rapidly devolving. Rather than a calculated attempt to finally follow through with his need to curb the spread of contamination, this is very clearly an outburst of rage and terror. Alex's "I told you not to follow me" line in conjunction with Jay speculating that Alex didn't know who that guy was, to me, pretty firmly seems to speak to Alex having mistaken that stranger for Jay. From his point of view, Alex knows that Jay and totheark know where he live, have broken in before, he suspects that Jay stole a key to make it easier to get into his house, and he's been followed on the daily for months -- Alex is sitting at the tunnel because he doesn't know where else he can go without being constantly surveilled, hunted, and assaulted. And instead of getting a moment by himself to breathe, Jay followed him out there all over again (it feels like Alex looks directly at the camera in Jay's footage of him from this day; he knew for a fact that Jay was there), and then to make matters worse now 'Jay' won't even keep his distance anymore.

So Alex lashes out. And it's not until afterwards that he looks down and finally recognizes that this wasn't Jay -- it was someone completely innocent. Things have finally reached the low point he was at in college all over again; maybe even worse this time. If Alex doesn't remember attacking anyone in college, but he was at least partially conscious of it this time, then things have reached an entirely new rock bottom, they've reached an absolute point of no return.

He has no idea what happened to Amy, and he's spent months trying to find her with no hint of where she could be; he doesn't know where Jay actually is or what additional trouble he could be causing at this point; he does know that now innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire (in regards to the stranger in the tunnel, and also Jessica now that Jay has her phone number, and the untold number of people Jay got involved when he started posting videos to the Marble Hornets channel); things are spiraling out of control and there's no one left to ask for help. The situation isn't getting better, it's getting worse; things aren't getting easier to handle, they're just getting more out of hand; the negative impact is spreading and who knows how much further it can still go?

So, Alex decides to go scorched earth. He disfigures the body with the rock either to hide evidence or to make sure the guy would actually stay dead and not just get back up to start his own cycle of contamination in a few years. He tries to give Jay one last chance to back off, and Jay instead admits he's been talking to Jessica, acts obstinate and lies about not having Alex's spare key, and then breaks into Alex's house a second time (minimum). If Alex doesn't stop him now, who will? Alex met with Jay planning to kill the others, and then himself, so he could put a stop to this once and for all and keep things from getting any worse than they already were.

Maybe it makes a lot more sense if, rather than being a strangely incomprehensible detour on what should have been a straight path, the events of Season Two were the breaking point that put Alex on that path to begin with.

#N posts stuff #idk!!! I've been thinking a lot lately about the tendency to take Characters at Face Value; when they tell us things we tend to #automatically believe them despite what evidence we might have to the contrary. & like when it comes to deciphering what #went down during the college film project it's mostly totheark that posits that Alex was Definitely Lying and Definitely Acting on Purpose #(even Jay is largely ambivalent - wondering which way it leans and basically saying it could go either way) #but. do we KNOW that they know that? Do we Know that they're Right when they claim that? Or are they just Assuming based off #of their own rage and animosity towards Alex due to what happened? Do we Know for Sure that Alex Was Lying in s1? #i don't know if we do!! And so without Knowing that for sure; how can we speak to Alex's motivations in season one OR season two? #now TO BE CLEAR: I am not saying this in an attempt to claim that Alex is somehow completely innocent of all guilt and that like. #Jay is the 'Real Antagonist' of the series - not at all my intention. this is just More of my usual 'look. Everyone in this series is #all kinds of Morally Grey; no recurring character in this series is free of guilt they ALL have unique fatal flaws & trends towards #antagonism that makes things worse and dooms them all' shtick - a la 'everyone Thinks they're doing the Right Thing but No One Is' #BUT i Am wondering if this Does help to like. clear up some of the ambiguity/uncertainty of Season Two - and even Season One - and #lets the series as a whole read a little bit clearer? idk i know that Jay does Claim to think that Alex was bullshitting him #the whole time & was Actually planning on tying up loose ends the whole time but AGAIN it doesn't make Sense he'd wait so long #idk - Am i making sense? does any of this track? i'm trying to figure it out; i am open to comments on the subject to help #i haven't rewatched season 3 yet today and so maybe there's stuff in there that contradicts this whole theory lmao but i'm taking a break #and just posting this anyway; we'll see what happens lol #marble hornets #mh lb

[elftwink]

been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).

also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)

& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)

the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.

admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy

but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.

#good idea generator #kas plays ironsworn #am giving it a tag because i will continue to talk about this. its my blog #idk i just find in dnd like. players often FEEL threatened WAY before they actually are threatened #which makes it really hard to balance combat because players treat evenly matched fights like hopeless death traps #so instead they do underleveled combat that feels boring for some hard to pin down reason #but like. the reason is even though you're nervous about the dm's description and the things the monsters can do #there is no real threat. especially in bigger parties where the players DOMINATE action economy. they are always in control #so of course it gets boring. it drags out so everyone can take their turn but it never forces you to make difficult choices #or to totally exhaust all your abilities. after awhile the combats start to feel same-y #because even if the monster is different. you never have to do anything different to defeat it #ofc this is a subjective assessment and also if youre reading this and we play dnd together this is not a gripe abt our table i love u #i think it's really easy to get trapped doing this esp in tables which like rp more than combat #because its also like. once you're used to a certain balance of combat if your dm suddenly threw you a big one #you assume that this is a uniquely large threat in the narrative as well (rather than a rebalancing attempt) #and treat it accordingly. which is to say with way too much caution because it isnt actually that big of a threat #so then as a dm when you have to maintain the feeling of threat and the mechanical threat #(especially when sometimes the mechanical line between 'cakewalk' and 'tpk' is razor thin #and is more about the initiative order and luck than anything else) #you start to prioritize the feeling of threat. which is imo the right call always #but its just after awhile when you feel the threat but nothing ever happens to anybody. the dissonance starts to affect the table #also balancing dnd combat as a dm is really hard and often requires a LOT of on the fly adaptation #because sometimes the CR is useless and you don't know how it's gonna do until the dice are on the table already #anyway. my point is that im enjoying how ironsworn handles this problem

[lil-vibes]

Now that the translations are out I gotta say that IF this is trully how it ends for him, I'm disappointed. Like I was never under the illusion that Gojo would've survived till the end of the manga but this just feels so... off? So underwhelming, almost? Like, it feels incomplete and granted, Gege has killed characters that, arguably, weren't finished with their arcs (Nobara, Nanami) before but even if we take that into consideration this one still feels so wrong to me.

Obviously I wanted Gojo to win and obviously everyone knew that he wasn't going to (historically, he has always lost something so important whenever he 'wins' a battle that it renders his victory almost meaningless) but killing him off screen, even with all of the explanations, when he was straight up folding Sukuna's shit for like 10 chapters straight just feels cheap and Sukuna's victory actually feels undeserved to me bc of it.

He was on the defence most of the fight. He pulled out every single thing he could from Megumi's CT and STILL got his ass handed to him multiple times. Im gonna be real, despite me making fun of his ✨fraud-core✨ chapters, I like Sukuna. I like him a lot as a character and as an antagonist and so I want to see his victory actually mean something, or be hard won since this was a fight between THE pillars of the jujutsu world. Perhaps if he killed Gojo with his own CT it would have felt more right ? Maybe..

Besides all of that, what happens now? What could possibly be done against Sukuna now that The Strongest is out of the picture? Kashimo, and let it be known that i love him dearly, will be folded in probably 2 chapters max. Yuta (<3), Yuuji, Maki, Hakari and his domain will not be enough.

Like sometimes I feel like people just either forget or don't grasp the sheer depth of the power gap between Gojo and EVERYONE else. It's just so insanely large that after defeating him, Sukuna is trully unstoppable. And if Gege pulls some shit and has him defeated regardless, then that will just be bad writing and Gege, for all I curse him on the daily, isn't a bad writer.

Truth be told, whenever a chapter ended before, I wasn't all that scared that Gojo was done for solely because the manga would have ended. Like, in universe, if Gojo goes down then it's a wrap for everyone else pretty much immediately (like mans got sealed and not even 10minutes later everything went to hell in that godforsaken train station) so now that this has happened I trully wonder where this will go from here?

#im just... idk feeling a lot of things abt this chapter #on another note MAKI COMFORTING YUUTA IN THAT ONE PANEL MAKES ME WANNA D WORD #yuuta my beloved this wasnt ur fault you would have been attommized the moment u stepped foot on that battle field #this was just me having to get these tought outta my head bc. it was driving me up the walls #i have. somewhat. of a trust in gege that he will somehow pull through #and by that i mean i have faith in his writing skills #gege when i catch ur ass in hell its so over for you #anyways someone check on shoko and yuuji before i track down this fukass one eyed cat and make him into wet cement #i trully hope that his pillows are warm on both sides. unless he enjoys that. in which case i hope they r blocks of ice #jjk spoilers #jjk 236 #gojo satoru #pebbles (me) ramblers #long post #-ish #the anime ep tho... the amount of Toughts i have are just. unlimited #gotta say the decision to make him gigfle when he was making hanami into wall paint was DIABOLICAL #feral gojo my absolute beloved you are so mentally ill its insane #im NOT talking abt the box. im NOT. thinking abt gojo's 'huh?' when he heard kenjaku calling him i am NOT subjecting myself to that again #okkotsu yuuta #jjk thoughts #jjk sukuna #its 2.20am and im so so 'eepy #youtube play 'mr loverman' #jujutsu kaisen

[itspileofgoodthings]

Nina and I are unfortunately like dynamite and gunpowder. something happens and we’re just like oh yeah? You wanna go? Let’s go! Meet me in the ring bitch!

#part of our power is the insane SPEED and then reconciliation of our fights #we forgive and communicate as fast as we fight #but there is no one in the world who makes me just SAY the shit I shouldn’t say than her #like she just. she herself is so fast and so blunt and so ruthless and so bullying and so LOUD #that it fires me right up and it’s like okay well FINE the gloves are off #but then it makes me anxious after like. did I say something TOO hurtful #Nina and I always joke we have the RANGE #because for all of my we’re the struggling married couple of sisters #we also have times where the fun and exchange of ideas is flowing #and this ability to say and hear things to/from each other that most people don’t/can’t? #like. the level of rock-solid trust is SO high. but equally high is our wildly differing personalities and worldview #so there isn’t anything quite like it and it can be confusing from the outside #like I HAVE to meet her in the parking lot because she’ll be being the WORST #but also she thinks I am being the worst #but anyway I do hate when a fight seems like NEW territory #and then I always worry that I have done irreversible damage #I can hear Nina in my head mocking that very idea because she is so tough #and mocking the anxiety of me being like nothing can ever be okay again #but life and certain subjects have been traumatizing in the past year #so idk what is safe exactly right now #I am FULLY rambling and having a million thoughts at once #but yeah #SORRY FOR SWEARING #twice

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#that's 2 of 3 partys in my moms honor down. this one was our childhood neighbor friends #which it was really good to see them but it was really just a party. no one really talked about her at all. the subject was avoided #i think bc ppl r awkward abt it. like im fine to talk abt it. it happened. i dont see a point in avoiding it #but im also not the most socially adept. which i did pretty good talking to ppl but i was still the most awkward one there #and idk this experience has really taught me that u should have a lot of friends and a spouse bc i dont kno how a person like me could go #thru what my mom did and survive if i didnt have my dad. so i guess i have to con someone into marrying me #id b difficult to marry. im difficult to b friends with. im too avoidant of any people #im gonna die like that lady from 6 feet under with no friends. like a fridge fell on her or something. idk #but i cant die bc my dad cant go thru this again. i dunno. well see what life throws at me #also. my childhood friends r a lot of real smart ppl. like a lot of engineers and medical doctors #they make me feel so dumb. but alas. im but a humble environmental Science person #ay. i dunno. it was fun but im drained #and my cousings boyfriend is still a fucking freak who harasses animals. he really upset one of our dogs #my sister says she can imagine him murdering someone and tbh so could i. so i hope my cousins safe #unrelated

[astrxealis]

hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #LET'S GOOO MGA PAREH 💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅 #i'm so chill for some reason even if ik i will never forgive myself if i don't get in. anyway. manifesting!!! i will pass with flying colors #IT'S REAL DAMN STRESSFUL FOR ME bcs i am aiming for honors courses which means i have to be top 15%... i am top 15% (and higher) in my batch #in school anyway but... urgh... #so. yeah. give me all your best wishes thankyousomuchxoxo AHHEHEHWHSHFJAH sobbing (but fr. if you do. i really appreciate it!!) #i believe in myself :] mostly. the time limit scares me and math and abstract reasoning bcs 5 minutes for 30 items but yeah. okay. #i am Smart ..... bro i literally got perfect on my physics exam and got 100 in statistics (i am really proud of these in particular) #my extracurriculars are good !! all my math scores are insane (cue a math nerd) and science (science nerd) english (god. no explanation #needed) honestly every subject is slay and so is my essay-making but ERGH. honors course... top 15%... #i will try to be chill! honestly i am already lol the nerves aren't getting to me somehow. gl to me and all that i know and do not know. #both here and irl :3 also to fellow ph kids (who are most likely younger than me if they aren't older and yk not worrying abt cets anymore #LMFAO) err idk if . okay idk what i was going to say LMFAO anyway i'm busy af and idk if i'm good with teaching others #but if you ever want any tips from me (honestly i don't really have tips. i do what i do and just make it. but there's a lot involved there) #feel free to come to me for anything ^_^ anything at all tbh. doesn't have to be acads idk i like helping others in general. BUT IT DEPENDS. #but yeah just hmu whatever i will have you know i am genuinely a smart & responsible kid and i am proud of that bcs my family is amazing w #smarts but also the Hard Work is there so :3 !! english is my forte science is my forte math is my forte. also socsci and whatever tbh. #i'm probably insane but i genuinely love all those topics and what we learn in school FISHFK so yeah !!! okay i shut up now #will do my best... zzz... and then i will work on myself. to be better than i already am and even better than i could possibly be. ya. fun! #the mga pareh is a joke btw i like imitating filipino kids like that. like yooo mga pareh let's goooooo wahee!!!!!

[jakejeffreyperalta]

girls will literally be happy until their brain randomly convinces them that all their friends hate them because someone's text was a little TOO serious sounding which means they find you ugly and stupid and hate you with a burning passion

#how i love being a person who thinks all the time and has nothing to think except for thoughts #also there is literal crack in gracie abrams's voice wtf #i know you're a fault line. but i'll break too. #I SEE YOU EVERY NIGHT IN MY SLEEP ANTICIPATING EVERY BAD DREAM LIKE FALLING WITH A KNIFE YOU CUT DEEP YOU CUT DEEEEP #anyway i literally hate myself a lot right now and i think im so ugly and stupid and nobody really likes me #and my problems are generally smaller than other peoples' #like idk #its invalidating when you're complaining about something and someone's like 'well at least you dont...' or if im complaining about school #and someone's like at least you dont have ____ subject #like. ok. remind me never to say anything to you ever #its also so invalidating when you're trying to explain to someone how you are and they're like 'but you're literally happy' #i just end up feeling so stupid and idiotic #maybe because i am but. you know. like how do you even reply to someone saying that to you

[campingwiththecharmings]

me whenever someone gives me unsolicited opinions about myself:

#thinking about the time a friend of mine did this #and she does this a lot bc she's older and ofc sees herself as 'more knowledgeable' or w/e #which hey sometimes she is #mostly i take her opinions with a grain of salt but she said something to me recently that just #idk it rubbed me the wrong way. and i keep thinking about it. #ider what we were talking about but somehow we got on the subject of romantic relationships #and i basically said i'm not opposed to one but i'm NOT looking. like at ALL. not even a little bit. #but if something happens someday great! #she proceeds to tell me literally right after i say this #that i should work on my appearance then because i'm 'a little plain'. not ugly or anything just...plain. #which hey i know already btw and it doesn't really bother me #i wear make up and am not against it at all. i think it's amazing to see what people can do with it tbh. #and if people wanna wear it i'm all for it #i personally don't like the way it feels on my skin so i use as little as possible #just enough to cover things like my acne scars or other imperfections that i feel self conscious about #i'd love to get to a point where i feel comfortable NOT wearing make up actually #and that's not even to say that i'd NEVER get dolled up or whatever #it's just not something i enjoy doing on a regular basis ya know? #and honestly? any future partner i have should be aware of that bc you're gonna get plain ol' non-makeup-wearing me 99% of the time #and if that's a problem with them then i don't even wanna waste my time on them #so yeah when she said this to me i was annoyed #bc fr wtf does that have to do with me not looking for a partner??? lol #*sigh* ik she was probably just trying to help in her own way but like #just don't k? k. #/rant #sorry i had to get that out somewhere lmao #it's been driving me crazy #ignore me

[wifiwuxians]

SongXue 🥺👉👈 (platonically, if you'd prefer)

game

okay so i have to make the distinction here

canon:

my own wifiwuxians government approved vast array of worlds:

super honest under the cut

please nobody take it personally!!! it's just fandom has a lot of song lan negativity and i'm not about that ever so i stick to doing my own thing (also that is baby xy)

#songxue #oh thats right readmore is obsolete LMAOOOO #anyway please understand when i draw them its not with the purpose of making ship content #they are just my guys! #so tagging this as such feels SO surreal #but its half for blacklist and half bc well. its the subject of the ask! #that said though: it does not really bother me if people wanna #like #interpret it however they want #as long as they aren't explicitly mentioned to be family on a piece #unlike other ships which i do mention not wanting on my art ever #like idk! i'm all over the place w them #like yes it does bug me a bit that any interaction is just pigeonholed into ship #but overall it kinda just makes me snort to get the tags yknow? #but again i am just doing my own thing #because it's how i'm most comfortable. as said in bingo 3 #can you tell i have a lot to say? help.

[weirdgirlbymommylonglegs]

there’s being a teenage girl in your 20s then there’s whatever the fuck the babyface by sorry mom experience is

#i absolutely hate the phrase ‘teenage girl in your 20s’ idea it’s infantilising and will only stunt yr mental + emotional development #because if you keep doing that you’ll be 30 something saying shit like ‘i’m a 21 year old in my 30s’ which just sounds worse lol #and so on #and it’s not exactly a new phenomenon either bc women (mainly) will say they’re 21 with x amount of years extra experience #it’s just. idk. the obsession with perpetual yourh looks worse on people who are already young i guess #anyway back to babyface sorry mom. the album of all time; resonates with the ‘teenage girl in your 20s’ idea #(which for me has always been about being directionless and lost in life and feeling younger because you can see all your other 20-something #friends grow up and get jobs and finish their degrees n shit. and that makes you feel younger; almost teenager like) #(whereas i see a lot of people saying ‘teenage girl in my 20s’ as a way of almost bragging about being immature?? #like not knowing how to do things or speak on certain subjects #stuff like ‘when he talks to me about the economy but i’m #literally a teenage girl in my 20s’ LIKE DO YOU NOT HEAR YOURSELF?? #and of course i’m not shaming people for not knowing shit i mean look at me. i can’t drive i have no job and i dropped out of uni #but the REFUSAL to learn is astounding. like people think they can get away with being deliberately oblivious because they have #the self-proclaimed mentality of a teenage girl. and how do you think Actual Teenage Girls feel about people assigning their demographic as #being oblivious and vapid and lacking awareness #you know. traits that have historically been assigned to teenage girls that I Can Actively Remember trying to not associate with. #and my female peers were also arguing against as teenagers. #i dunno. in the words of tame impala it feels like we only go backwards) #long tags #kaycore #(fuck it. putting this in the sorry mom tag) #sorry mom band #babyface sorry mom

[randomnameless]

Do you agree that anyone that uses death of the author as argument shouldn't be arguing about a text? Because according to them all interpretations are valid so why argue against other people's interpretations?

Mmh...

I guess it's part of the duality of fandom life - people want to talk about the game are very involved in it, but they also create fun headcanons to explore said game's lore/setting/characters.

So in way, participating in fandom and even writing fanfiction, or saying stupid things like "hc : Nabateans attach a great importance to golden trinkets" is, in a way, pushing your own interpretation over the game's.

But at one point, it depends on what you want to argue about.

Argue about headcanon? Uh... it's like arguing about what topping you prefer on your ice cream. It's your ice cream, your tastes, so you can prefer chocolate cookies or peanuts and it's, you know, not open to discussion as in "talking with you made me realise peanuts are was tastier than chocolate chip cookies".

I like to talk and discuss and see other people's headcanons because it's fun and when some of ours match we can nerd about pointless things like warm rocks or nabatean laying eggs, but you won't see me being an ass and tell them "uh your headcanon sucks, you should put blue cheese on your ice cream".

Now, arguing about canon?

FE16 (and Fe Fodlan in general) is a game where the devs forgot to hire a continuity game and thought letting the world "vague" would make it look "deeper and richer" than it is. 10k years of lore, after all. And we have at least 2 unreliable narrators, that are Lords so who are protagonists and usually should be believed... expect that the game shows us they're full of nonsense regarding various topics.

But, unlike headcanon, canon isn't subjective, it's the same game (well... depending on the audio, it's not) everyone played, some people were kind enough to create a website where every line (+ dub!) is available, so it's not a question of interpretation as much as going to read and check the datamine website and the hundreds of YT videos, were people recorded their PT.

Was Burnie surrounded by flames, effectively preventing her escape from her pyre, or not?

Does Cyril mention to Mercedes how he only ate every couple of days before coming to the monastery (so under House Goneril's good care and in the Almyran army) or not?

Those things can be easily checked, and there's no interpretation.

If you don't like canon, you can churn out headcanon and have fun developing them, maybe finding people who like them and expend them themselves!

But for various reasons (is it because fanfiction has a bad rep since the 2000s for being something, idk, teenage girls write? or because it's not seen as very serious (tm) as a redshit post?) some people in the Fodlan fandom don't really want to confess they don't like the canon, and prefer the headcanon/fanfiction version of the game portrayed through a certain fic that, in turn, influenced how canon is perceived by some devoted fans.

(and let's not forget the lolcalisation that, too, didn't like the base game and edited it for ~ reasons ~)

And imo, Death of the author, in those fandom circles, is a roundabout way to say "the canon is not conclusive so i interpret the situation as this, but it's totes not my headcanon nor a fanfiction bcs i'm no gross fangirl, it's still canon, but my interpretation of the canon"

Tldr : Arguing about headcanon is as pointless and fruitless as starting a shipwar, and in the 2020s apparently it's too shameful to confess liking/writing fanfictions, so instead you like and write "your own interpretations of canon or how it should be" instead, using various theories like "Death of the Author" to validate your creative process, bcs fanfics gross'n'bad'n'only for lonely teenager girls, i guess.

#if this wasn't clear #i love people who write fanfics and ocs and have a lot of headcanons #but i know there used to be a time where saying you like fanfics was not very well seen #because of prejudice against the writers #and the gross 'fujos' insults thrown around #it was complicated #I still think some parts of redshit and the 3h subredshit or the main sub have traces of that old mindset #a fanfic isn't canon #so of course talking and nerding about canon becomes stale after a while #that's why people come up with fanfic prompts AU and headcanons #to have fun #but when people start to mix canon and fanon you can't argue anymore #you can't argue against something that's subjective! #anon #replies #fandom woes #idk if it was clear ?