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#but it still holds a special place in my heart
angelltheninth · 1 day
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Valentino x reader, Im obsessed with his wings but imagine him being possessive and wrapping his wings around his girlfriend as she cockwarms him while he directs a video so others can hear her struggling to hold in her moans but can’t see them
This scratched some special itch in my brain.
Pairing: Valentino x Fem!Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut. cockwarming, moaning, public sex, teasing, dirty talk, name-calling, possessiveness, biting
Word count: 0.4k
Ao3
A/N: I can't fix him, no one can, but a lot of people wanna ride him.
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This was technically still work for you. It was work in public, on set but still work. It wasn't the first time you did anything with Valentino in front of others while at the Studio. But this time you were supposed to keep it quiet because he too was working still.
"If you can't handle five cocks at once then what the FUCK am I paying you for?!" Valentino barked out in frustration at the current star. His cock twitched inside you, which made you bite your cheek. You couldn't disrupt the production.
You were only there to ease his frustration, which only seemed to be building rather than going away. His palms ran impatiently over your legs, spreading them more but still keeping your body hidden from view with his wings.
"You ain't doing your job either. Unlike her you only have the one. You do such a good job on set, why can't you do the same for me now?" He bit your neck lightly, the prickling of his teeth making your pussy quiver and drip on his cock. "That's better. If only everyone could be a good slut like you."
"Thank you for your compliment, Val, sir." His praise was as heart fluttering as his insults.
His long fingers slid across your pussy, pressing against what little of his cock you couldn't fit in. Up to your clit where they stayed, teasing, rubbing and pinching, each motion making your hips jerk upwards and grind back down.
"Keep your voice down. Everyone here already knows what a good cockwhore you are for me, you don't need to vocalize it." You loved when you couldn't tell if he was insulting or parsing you, it didn't matter either, not when his cock was hitting you so deep, so perfect and just for you. "You're not listening again. Look around, you're gonna make everyone come if you don't quiet down." Your eyes fluttered around, catching the eyes of a few demons, some with erections, some rubbing their thighs together, some with wide drooling, grins, some with their hand moving in their pants. "I know you enjoy the spotlight but you're not the current star of this show. They are." Valentino turned your head back to the demon being fucked on set. Your eyes met briefly before you heard them come. "It's their job to take care of others. The only cock you need to pay attention to is mine."
"Yes, Val, I only... need you to make me feel good." You braced yourself against him as you felt him empty his cum up into your womb, your head spinning with orgasmic pleasure that you had to keep to yourself.
"Good girl." Valentino nuzzled against the side of your head. "What are you jerkoffs looking at? Back. To. Work." He clapped his hands against your thighs as everyone got back into place for another round of filming.
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scxrredgxrl · 2 days
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This would be that interrupted ad that you won’t skip. 😉
Hey guys!! Well, I think it’s about time that I make a pinned post. I’ve been wondering for a while how to write it, how to properly transfer the thoughts in my head into words. When things get overwhelm in my head, I usually like to write it down on my notebook and draw a cloud frame around it. That’s exactly what I’ll do so bear with me :)
☁️ Introduction (Myself): I don’t share my real name here, but I’ve always use Eden as my alias because it sounds similar to my chinese name and with that said, I’m of chinese descent, living somewhere in South East Asia (SEA). I’m a ‘93 baby, single and straight. Height, 166cm and my weight is… 🤫😂 As for my chronic illness, I have Discoid Eczema and I think WebMD would explain it to you more better than I do xD
☁️ Introduction (My blog): My blog is obviously 18+ and MDNI. You can ask me any questions that you have but all I ask in return is that you ask me privately through my inbox or DM and keep it respectful. As for my posts, I will not be posting as frequently as I have been doing so far because the eczema has gotten worst and I don’t have the right headspace and heartspace to do so. But, I will always be here to check the messages and reply to them so you can still find me there.
☁️ My K!nks: I try to be an open-minded person and I love a good “experiment” time. So I would say that I don’t have a particular favorite and that I love a little bit of everything that is in the k!nky category.
☁️ Conversation with me: I love dirty-talking as much as the next person but for me, dirty-talk depends a lot on the right time, right flow and right vibe. Honestly, if you’re able to hold a deep conversation with me in the first place? You’re already halfway there to my heart. And if you need a few topic ideas;
•Dad Jokes •Fiction Books •TV Shows/Films/K-Dramas •Jensen Ackles •My Bucket List (Both normal and naughty ones) •Tell me about your pet dog
☁️ Not that kind of girl: I don’t have an OF account or in any pør^ industry. I don’t have “special” content to sell. So please, please, please, DO NOT dm me asking to buy contents and NEVER send me DPs that I DID NOT ask for! Also, I’m flattered but currently not interested to be a sugar baby or to be “owned.”
☁️ Safe space: My blog, my DM is a safe space and judgment-free zone. Whatever you share with me will stay between me and you. Whether it’s a dark k!nk or you just need a stranger to talk to or a shoulder to lean on, I’ll be here. I may not reply as fast as an F1 racer but I’ll be here.
That’s about it, and like I said, you can still reach me through my DM anytime. Stay healthy, play safe, and may you be k!nk!er than yesterday, my loves 💋😉
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10underoot2 · 2 days
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I thought I would have so much to say about the car accident scene. And while I could go on for a while on why it's everything I've ever wanted from a scene of this nature and why it's a beautifully acted cinematic piece, I do think the beauty of the scene lies so much in silence. Their expressions are do a fantastic job to express their emotional state so I'm just gonna call attention to a few things I won't get over anytime soon.
Imagine being Haein and seeing your husband wrecking a car window in hysteria. Imagine seeing disbelief on his face when he sees you and walks towards you. Imagine watching him unable to breathe properly (sound on and high for this scene). Imagine seeing life flood into him as soon as you touch him.
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Jiwon plays such an important part here. Because Haein has NEVER seen Hyunwoo like this. He's a pretty calm nice, non-violent guy. She knows him to like mostly everyone and he rarely gets angry - he's pretty composed. But then what is this look of complete shattered pain on his face? With a mix of disbelief, bearing the heaviest heart on the planet? He's unrecognisable to her. She can't make sense of any of his actions. She's in utter shock hearing how hardly any air is making it's way into his lungs.
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In his eyes is a look of crazed wilderness just tamed. He's out of his sense. Completely lost in the events that have just passed. Not believing that he can breathe. That it's okay. All is well in the world for now. She's unscathed.
'What's going on? Calm down.'
The way she asks him to calm down - touching his face - cause she just doesn't know what in the world could send him in such a frenzy to forget himself. Her asking him to calm down here is everything to me. She's really just saying I'm here okay. Calm down. Calm down, you can breathe. Tell me what happened and I can fix it.
'Even still, Are you crazy? How could you break the window with your bare hands? Look at this!'
I know it probably didn't register to him at that point. But he's hearing her being worried for him again when he thought her lost forever. Wouldn't that sound like music to his ears.
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And her...god she's so worried for him. She's never seen him like this. She doesn't know what happened to make him like this. One she sees his absolutely broken bloody hand. Two she's seeing her husband absolutely crushed. She's so confused.
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That is until his words hit her like a truck. I think she had an idea that he did it to save her but she didn't know he did it because he thought her dead. And that makes all the difference for her.
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Also I thought it was very interesting to keep showing his injured hand clenching. I think it was a way to show how the physical pain still didn't hold a candle to his emotional turmoil. He CLENCHES that broken hand multiple times. I can't even begin to think when he actively registered the pain.
The need for constant touch to reaffirm that she indeed is there. The sitting down. The head on her hand. The heavy breathing. *Chef's kiss*
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I love women comforting the man they love when he's broken. Gah! That hand on his face and hug. Her embracing him. Letting him cry all he wants. Giving him the reaffirmation he needs by placing her self as close to him as possible. Trying to tame and override his sense. The hand on the nape of his neck. The hand caressing his hair lovingly. And good god, the RINGS.
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Also notice his breathing on her shoulder. He's trying to calm himself. Telling himself she's here. Hearing her say it's alright. Everything will be alright.
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I'm sure they stay like this until the ambulance comes and asks them if they're hurt. Only then Haein must've gently tore him apart from her (hand on his face again ofcourse) and convinced/guided him to finally get treatment. I can just Imagine Hyunwoo completely dishevelled going, 'Huh *sniffs*......oh.......Right, my hand' and that's when the pain hits him.
Special mention to the hospital conversation when Haein asks him 'Will you sob like this if I die?' and he says truthfully, bashfully, embarrassed but without missing a beat 'Ofcourse.' He's hiding behind nothing. He truly meant to give up on himself after her.
For me this is also the night Haein starts to write her diary. Hyunwoo must've been sound asleep, amped up on painkillers and she must've had so much time to sit and admire him and write.
Gif credits: @wolha and @seawherethesunsets
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gxtfictx · 2 days
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Dating Emily Prentiss - Headcanons
some of these are nsfw
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-She is the softest girlfriend ever
-always seems so strong, so badass, but she has the softest spot for you, you make her heart melt, and she never fights it back
-suuuuuuper posessive, gets jealous easily
-one time during a case, one of the local cops started flirting with you. Emily was fuming, pulling you close to her, her hands on your waist, putting your hair behind your ear, she had done it all, but this guy was just not getting it. Once the case was closed, he was about to ask you out for a drink, when Emily heard it, she run to where you were (still speechless) and kissed your lips, it was a explicit kiss, her hands on your waist possessively, a deep, passionate and romantic kiss, taking you by surprise. The guy was flabbergasted to say the least. "hey baby, ready to go?" she asks when she pulls apart. She looks at you, still out of words, and then to the guy, his mouth still opened in awe. "oh, sorry, you were saying?" he doesn't bother you anymore
-she loves having you over at her place because it's like sharing her intimacy with you, and she is a SUCKER for any kind of intimacy
-seeing you sitting around her place, walking around her kitchen messing around, cooking, listening to music and dancing, you on her couch, hanging your bras on the bathroom, randomly finding a sock or a pair of lost underwear after a night together... she loves having you around so much that you have your own drawer at her place after only 3 months of dating.
-another form of intimacy that she loves is when you wear her clothes. Hell. She loves it. She's feral for it. She always insists you look better on them anyway. She will wear it after because it smells like you, the scent calms her down, so she buries her nose into it every once in a while.
-physical touch is her no1 love language, in the sense that she will take any chance she gets to touch you. Her hand on your thigh. Will hold yours under the table every time. She caresses your shoulder, your arm. Will hold your hand on the plane during landing. When you go back after a case on the jet she'll have you laying on her, full on hugging sometimes, your back laying on her chest, she will play with strands of your hair, tickle your forearm... anything she can, she will touch
-she loves showing you off, always refers to you as "my girlfriend". "i'm gonna call my girlfriend" "i need to ask my girlfriend first" "Sure! I'll call my girlfriend to ask her if she wants to come" ...
-WILL tease the team, specially Morgan as he instists on making comments about your relationship (he never means wrong, he's not fetizishing you, it's just what he knows) "Prentiss, you and pretty girl had a good night?" "damn well we did" / "hey Prentiss any reason why you're both wearing turtle necks today? (she uncovers her neck, showing off the purple marks you had left) don't worry, you should see how i left her"
-at the beginning it would embarrass you a lot, now you've learned to enjoy it, and you even join in sometimes "Hey Prentiss, got a whip? (he says holding the leather attire to her body) You bet she does" Em loves it when you tease too.
-she definitely praises you in different languages, specially Italian because you love it (yes i'm projecting, so what, Italian is sexier than French, i said what i said)
-she's a huuuge nerd, so you bet movie marathons are a thing. She'll also keep asking you to pay attention if she has already seen it "Baby look! Look, this is the best part!" "I'm looking Em, I promise I'm looking"
-Chocolate, red wine and cherries are her 3 faves. You once got a perfume that smelled like cherries and she loved it so much she spent hours with her nose buried in your neck
-After several months of dating, you suggested to go on a little weekend trip. She was reluctant at first, but you convinced her as soon as you showed her the big jacuzzi at the hotel. She loved it so much and you had such a great time, that you started going on them every time you had a free weekend
-She has a tattoo on her ribs, right next to her boob. It was a stupid decision she made when she was 16, she instantly regretted it, hated it, and had always thought about getting it removed, until you started dating. You loved it, constantly reminding her how sexy it looked, kissed all the way around it, it made her feel so confident about it that she even started liking it, although it kind of looked like shit.
-She's not controlling at all, but she is over protective. She will murder whoever dares to touch you. (You know that scene when Spencer bends a guy's arm when he touches Tara? something like that)
-She loooooves giving you hickeys, but obviously they can't be visible, so she marks you all around. Your boobs, your thighs, your waist...
-She's a top, but she likes experimenting and will let you (and enjoy it just as much) take the lead whenever you feel like it.
-Has a whole folder on her phone for pictures of you with Sergio, most of them candid that you don't even know about
-loves showers and baths together, any time you go for a shower you can be sure she's joining you inside. You always say how inconvenient it is, but she always goes "we need to save water, honey"
-into astrology but will never admit it (she literally recognises constellations HELLO?!)
-You love her nose so much. She's always been kind of self conscious about it, but you reassured her every time, kissing it, praising her, you always told her how perfect it was for eating pussy, and that convinced her. Or maybe it was your moans after the tip of her nose bruised against your clit when she ate you out. You're not sure.
-Before she met you, she hadn't come out to her mom, nether had taken any partner home, when you started dating she told you about it, you insisted that it didn't matter, she had to do it when she was ready, if she ever was. It only took her 6 months to tell her and introduce you both.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
A/N: might do a part two in some time because there are SO MANY omg she's the cutest (like and reblog <3 )
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cirilla-fiona-riannon · 14 hours
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Galileo Galilei Main Story
Translations may not always capture the exact nuances or tone of the original text. Expect grammatical errors and inaccuracies. Not proofread.
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(Who...?)
I wanted to open my eyes to see whose cold hand was touching my forehead, but my body refused to move, and I slipped into unconsciousness once more.
After checking Mitsuki’s condition, Galileo returned to his room and stood there for a while.
Galileo: “........”
After hesitating, he opened a drawer on his desk and took out a worn-out origami crane.
Galileo: “I thought as much...”
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The scar on Mitsuki’s forehead, which he had just seen, and the story he heard last night about the origami cranes, triggered a memory in Galileo’s mind.
It was from the time when he traveled through various countries and eras, using the door.
When he arrived in a certain eastern country, he witnessed a scene where a vehicle was about to hit a girl.
Realizing that the girl wouldn’t survive, his body moved on its own. Before he knew it, he was holding the girl in his arms and lying on the roadside.
Girl: “Thank you, big brother. You’re my lifesaver.”
Although he had caused her a slight injury on her forehead, the girl smiled, and the origami crane she gave him as thanks was still in his hand to this day.
Galileo: “The girl I helped back then was Mitsuki.”
Galileo: "That was an event from when I traveled to the future, which means Mitsuki came from the future using that door in the mansion."
With the strange fate involving Mitsuki playing out in his mind, Galileo couldn't help but sigh as he sensed his own fate intertwined with hers.
Galileo: "Even if she doesn't have any special powers, it seems she's still the woman of destiny."
Galileo: "How ironic."
His self-deprecating murmur faded away into the room.
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Mitsuki: "Mn..."
When I woke up, the sun was already setting.
I moved slightly despite the lingering heaviness in my body and noticed something gently resting on my forehead.
(Ice pack? Did someone take care of me?)
(Was it Drake? Or maybe...)
At that moment, I heard a knock.
Galileo: "Are you awake?"
Galileo entered, holding a fresh ice pack.
Mitsuki: "Were you the one taking care of me?"
Galileo: "You got injured because of me."
Galileo: "It would be embarrassing if you fell ill because of that."
He said this before I could respond, and a small smile escaped my lips.
(This guy really has a strong sense of duty.)
But whether it was out of obligation or genuine concern, it was heartwarming to have someone look after me.
Mitsuki: "Thank you, Galileo."
Galileo: "........."
He accepted my thanks silently and approached the bed.
My heart raced wildly in my chest as he removed the ice pack and placed his hand on my forehead.
(This is the gentle, cold hand I felt while I was asleep earlier.)
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Galileo: "It looks like you're recovering enough to speak, but you still have a fever."
Galileo: "Rest a little longer."
Mitsuki: "Okay. Thank you."
After placing the medicine and drinks he brought on the table, he quietly left the room.
Though I was alone again, I didn't feel as helpless as earlier.
(My chest somehow feels warm.)
(Is it because he was here with me?)
Feeling calm this time, I drifted into another sleep.
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A few days later, my health had fully recovered, and I resumed spending my days with him.
We passed through the door and found ourselves on another moonlit night, and each time, I witnessed him struggling under the miasma.
That night, I reflected on the various times I had seen Galileo.
(Why does he keep going out on nights of lunar eclipses?)
All I knew was that he was looking for something, but I still didn't know what it was.
Even though he was suffering, he took some time to recover and then traveled again.
Realizing that he was repeating such actions, I got worried.
(I can't bear to see him like that. I want to stop him for his sake.)
Every time I got to know him better, I found myself unsure of what to call the emotions I had towards him.
He was a frightening man with intense anger hidden beneath an icy, cold facade. Yet he was also compassionate, engraving his sorrow and pain onto himself.
(Seeing him like that is painful.)
Despite aspiring to destroy the world, he tried to help his brethren and even took care of me.
(He has his kind side too.)
Each of these extreme aspects seemed to be part of his truth.
(The way he appears changes from time to time, like the phases of the moon.)
But I still felt like I hadn't discovered the true "him" yet. Just then, I heard footsteps from outside the room.
Curious, I stepped out of the room to find him and Sidereus getting ready to go outside.
Mitsuki: "Galileo, are you going out at this hour?"
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Galileo: "Yeah. Sidereus finds this place too confining."
Galileo: "Besides, the sky is clear tonight."
I noticed he was carrying a telescope in his arms.
(Maybe he's going stargazing while walking Sidereus.)
Suddenly, curiosity piqued my interest.
Mitsuki: "Can I come with you?"
Galileo: "Is that to get to know me better?"
Mitsuki: "Yes. You said you wouldn't hide or run away from me, remember?"
While it's true that I want to understand the real him, I'm also intrigued by his personal life.
After a brief moment of silence, Galileo spoke up.
Galileo: "It's your choice."
(Does that mean it's okay for me to go with them?)
Mitsuki: "Then, I'll go with you."
I quickly got ready and followed them until we arrived at a flower field.
Sidereus: *Bark! Bark!*
Sidereus ran around happily in the wide-open field.
Smiling at his puppy-like innocence, I looked at the sky to see the crescent moon and stars sparkling like gems.
Mitsuki: "There are so many stars out tonight."
Galileo: "Yeah. There are no clouds today, so it's the perfect time for stargazing."
He chose a spot and swiftly assembled the telescope.
Once everything was set up, he peered through the lens, occasionally lifting his head to gaze at the night sky.
For some reason, as I gazed at his profile, I found myself captivated by his eyes.
(Is this how he looks when he's stargazing?)
His amethyst eyes were filled with passionate longing, as if yearning for something unattainable in the distance, evoking a sense of melancholy.
(His eyes are really beautiful.)
I found myself admiring his eyes more than the stars.
Galileo: "Want to take a look?"
Mitsuki: "Huh?"
Galileo: "You've been glancing at me since earlier. Isn't that because you also want to see the stars?"
Mitsuki: "Yeah! I'd love to take a look!"
(Thank goodness he didn't notice I was admiring him.)
I stood in front of the telescope, feeling relieved inside.
It was my first time stargazing through a telescope, so I was really excited.
Mitsuki: "Huh? It's blurry. I can't see well."
Thinking I might have messed something up, I tried to adjust the focus, but...
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Galileo: "Let me see."
(…....)
He leaned over me from behind, his warmth enveloping me.
As he adjusted the focus, my heart beat loudly.
(My heartbeat is so loud.)
(Why am I feeling so nervous?)
Galileo: "There, try looking now."
Mitsuki: "Ah..."
Galileo gently guided my hand to the telescope.
My cheeks flushed as I peered through the lens, feeling the warmth of his cold hand.
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Mitsuki: "It's beautiful..."
I sighed in awe, seeing the stars before me.
I glanced up and saw Galileo looking at the stars with a serene expression.
Galileo: "No matter the era, the brilliance of the stars remains unchanged."
Galileo: "They illuminate everything on Earth, regardless of hatred or sorrow, urging us not to turn away from the truth."
(Truth...)
His words stirred something within me, reminding me of certain words.
------------Flashback-----------
Galileo: "Fine. If you're going to speak as if you understand everything, then go and see it with your own eyes."
Galileo: "See with your own eyes what I am trying to accomplish and what my true desires are."
---------Flashback Ends--------
(One of the few things I've learned about Galileo is his belief in confirming the truth with his own eyes.)
“But why have you not observed this instead of reducing yourself to having to believe the tales of others? Why not see it with your own eyes?”
The words from the book he lent me echoed in my mind.
(He's someone who seeks the truth with his own eyes.)
(Huh? Didn't I have a conversation about someone seeking the truth before?)
------------Flashback-----------
Galileo: "Even if the truth is revealed, if it's inconvenient, they'll be condemned and excluded."
Galileo: "I know a fool who pursued the truth despite knowing this and ended up with a life sentence."
---------Flashback Ends--------
Suddenly, his words came to mind.
(Could that be…)
(Could that be him?)
It was one possibility I had arrived at.
However, I couldn't bring myself to voice it because I didn't want to disturb him as he gazed at the stars with fervent eyes.
(If it's true that he got a life sentence, then what could have happened in his past?)
(I don't really know how he lived as a historical figure, but I know he supported the heliocentric model and left the famous quote, "And yet it moves.")
It was frustrating that I only knew fragments of his history.
(I want to know more about him.)
(I want to understand him and touch his heart.)
Those feelings grew stronger.
Galileo: "Had enough of the stars?"
Mitsuki: "Huh?"
Galileo: "You've been lost in thought for a while now."
Mitsuki: "I was just..."
I looked up at the sky again, swallowing the rest of my words.
Mitsuki: "I was just thinking that they're still beautiful, even though I don't know their names."
I made that comment to hide my true feelings, but then a streak of light flashed across the sky above us.
Mitsuki: "A shooting star! Did you see it!?"
Galileo: "I saw it. Don't get too excited just because you saw one."
Mitsuki: "Sorry. But it was so beautiful! It was over so quickly."
Excitement bubbled up within me, and Galileo let out a sigh.
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Galileo: "I didn't expect to see this side of you."
(.......)
For a moment, I felt like my breath had caught in my throat.
The smile I saw for the first time was so gentle.
(I really don't understand.)
(What are these feelings?)
My chest tightened, and I found myself unable to speak.
As if a shooting star had fallen, a nameless, tiny sparkle settled in my heart.
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Previous Part ╎ Masterlist ╎ Next Part
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darknadaworld · 3 hours
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i couldn't stop thinking about this i had to post it now oopsie
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ok so so uhhhhhh ever watched maya the bee (the 1975 one , that is)? cuz if you did you know who Flip is . and BOY LEMME TELL YOU, i had like,,, this massive crush on him and i still do (funny story, i realized i had a crush on him from the start like, last year when there was a rerun of the show on tv and i was smiling at the screen like a dumbass lol ; he's so cute aaaaaaaaaaa)
i know that like, my very obvious main 3 comfort characters are like,,, villains and all but Flip holds a special place in my heart sorta close enough to NOS-4-a2 and i just ikdfjhvbndkf idk expect more of these goobers cuz waaa
also uh uhhh YEA bug sona woohoooo!!
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her name is Prism , she's a beetle and she's a silly gal who goes around just collecting pretty shiny stones and making friends or something also extra doodle cuz i'm so embarassed to admit i had a crush on like,,,,, ALSO Hopper. i still do but that's for another post .( bug polycule am i right/JK JK JK-)
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tallymonster · 2 days
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Memories of Us
Chapter 18 : Remember Me
AO3 || Master list
A/N: so this is my longest chapter...it's around 6.7k words lol and there's a lot of lore drops going on soooo yeah enjoy lol.
Thanks to @cheesy-cryptid for their blessing on each chapter. Your support means the world to me.
Super special thanks as always to @micropoe10 because this girl has literally been here from day 1 supporting, uplifting, pushing, and helping me with this story. She even wrote the last few bits to save me from myself and I can never thank her enough. Love you so so much Rue.
Tags: @justporo @satanicspinosaurus @sleepy-timaeus @tragedybunny @davenswitcher @wayward-hel @hereliesblackdragon @misscrissfemmefatale
Astarion had begun to realize how much he enjoyed Octavia’s company. She was the eternal sunshine behind the clouds and each bit of affection from her broke them apart and allowed the light to come through.
The thought of someone caring about him was a lost concept, that someone could see something inside him other than what he saw himself.
Octavia was utterly infatuated with Astarion, she wondered if there was more to this routine the two of them found themselves in. The feeling of their bond becoming stronger, drop by drop of her delicious blood.
She was desperate to unearth more of his secrets, all while still hiding her own. Octavia was blinded by her own hypocrisy, the irony of her wanting to dig into his past while denying her own started to eat away at her. As she stared at herself in the mirror by the front door, she felt something tugging at her to be truthful with him.
There was a knock on the door, she took a deep breath as she finished fixing her hair.
You need to be honest with him. He was with you. It's the least you can do.
Astarion waited outside Octavia’s house, she had suggested going to a night market in Rivington she heard of. A friend of hers apparently told her it was a great place to go on a date.
He was somewhat nervous to be out in the open so publicly with someone. It had been so long since he let himself do it, not feeling the same as when he and Tav would walk hand in hand on the same streets.
Astarion leans on the rails of her front steps, he stares up into the starry sky. The stars sparkled as if they were there just for them. He smiles to himself, hearing the door open.
“Hello beautiful. I was afraid you were leaving me to go to the market all by mys-” He turns and the words are taken out of his mind as he takes in Octavia’s appearance.
She was in a mid-thigh length mustard colored pinafore dress, with a black short sleeved shirt, and some black tights with black leather ankle boots. A woven bag hung from her shoulder. This was one of the few times that Octavia could swear he was rendered speechless.
Octavia giggles and gives Astarion a kiss on the cheek, “Oh come on, you've seen me naked, I’m not dressed that seductively right now.” she walks past him and turns to wait for him at the end of her steps. “Ready to go?”
He nods with a grin and follows behind. As he steps down to the sidewalk, he holds his hand out, testing how she will react to his small gesture.
Octavia blushes, her heart fluttering slightly. She swings her shoulders back and forth, in a giddy wiggle. She smiles, biting her lip and takes his hand in hers. It felt cold, but so safe. She felt his fingers slip between hers in a comfortable lattice.
They walk through the street, silent at first. After they cross the road, Astarion wraps his arm around her waist and speaks. “You look wonderful by the way. I know you said you didn't look enticing, but I beg to differ. I think you look absolutely appetizing.” He squeezes her hip, Octavia’s cheeks are flushed a light reddish tone.
Astarion pulls Octavia close, hugging her in a playful embrace. She laughs as he bends down to kiss her. “You're being awfully affectionate. Are you feeling okay?” Octavia asks Astarion.
He lovingly cups her chin with his hand and pulls her in for another kiss. “I’ve just been really happy these last few weeks. I just figured that since we are on a date, I would act like it.” Astarion shrugs, giving Octavia another kiss before releasing her from his arms.
Octavia leads Astarion down the road to where the market was being held and becoming more populated. It had been so long since Astarion came to the street markets. He hated the crowds, the noise, all the different smells of foods he can't enjoy, but with her by his side it's all just background noise.
Astarion looks down at Octavia, a smile creeps into his face as he watches her eyes light up with excitement. Perhaps he could suffer for a bit longer, she did seem pretty eager to go out like this. Who would he be to deny her such simple pleasures?
Octavia can't decide where to go first. To her left was a stall with handmade leather bound books, to the right some flower stands, and not to mention all the food! She took Astarion’s hand and began to walk towards the flower stand. He smirks letting her lead him to wherever she wants.
“I love flowers. My mom and I had a garden at my childhood home where we grew so many. I tried maintaining it after she died, but it was just so hard to keep it up by myself. My dad was never one for being outside in the dirt even though he grew up near the Druid Grove.”
Octavia confesses with a laugh, she turns to Astarion and her smile drops a bit.
“I'm actually going to visit him soon. He's moving back to the Grove and he asked me to come help him empty out the house…feels weird to go back to basically throw away all the memories we made there.”
Astarion notices the change in her smile, the drop of her shoulders, and the way her hands come together. Her fingers twiddled at the variety of flowers carefully laid out with a far off stare. He takes one of her hands and holds it gently.
Octavia turns to him with faint tears on the corner of her eyes. She takes a deep breath and shakes her head. “It's been a long time coming. My mom's been gone about 16 years at this point, so why do I feel so sad?”
Astarion’s grip tightens on her hand. He knows this feeling too well. The feeling of moving on and allowing the grief to come and go as it pleases. Astarion takes in their surroundings. The last time he allowed himself to be in this type of market was the last time he saw Tav.
“You feel sad because you miss her, love. I've been there myself. In this very market no less.” Astarion finishes his sentence with a soft breath.
Octavia looks at him, recognizing the same sadness behind his eyes. The grief of losing someone you love. She remembers one of the things that makes her feel better is to talk about her mom, so maybe he can tell her about his loved one? “What were they like? The person you lost?”
Astarion glances back at Octavia, he hadn't thought about telling Octavia about Tav just yet, or at all. He pays for a bouquet of wildflowers that Octavia’s eyes locked onto. They turn and begin to walk away from the stall.
He hesitates before giving her a sad smile. “I’m not sure if this is the right time for that, I mean, I'd rather focus on you tonight, if you don't mind.” They sit on a bench near the edge of the market. Astarion looks down at the bouquet, taking a small pink rose and placing it in Octavia’s hair.
His hand lingers on her cheek, he leans down and kisses the corner of her eye. As he pulls away, he catches the smile that forms from her lips. He hands her the bouquet, as she leans on his shoulder, perfectly distracted away from her questions.
“No matter how long it is. Know that you will always carry a piece of her with you. As long as you remember her and the love you had, you'll never be without her.” Astarion comforts Octavia as they hold hands.
Astarion's good at the little words that everyone likes. The pleasant platitudes to soothe a broken heart. Meanwhile, he continues to push his own feelings of grief deeper down.
He could still see Tav standing at the opposite side of the market, the bag she carried full of contents hung from her shoulder. He stood about 8 stalls away from her. Her sweet scent hit his nostrils as he traded meat for bottles of blood.
Astarion had turned his head towards the scent, nearly dropping the glass bottle in his hand. He couldn't believe she was still in Baldur’s Gate after 30 years. He didn't know how long he was staring, until the merchant cleared their throat.
Astarion thanks them and turns back towards Tav. She's staring into a mirror that sat on top of the stall. She seems as if she's looking for something inside of it, a dreamy far off look behind her eyes. He hesitates wondering if she would be happy to see in or if she’d punch him. He’s frantically running scenarios in his head when he notices her head lift up.
Astarion shields his face with his cowl, only his bright red eyes shining through. He slings his bag over his shoulder and hesitates to walk closer to her. Tav fully turns to face him, her face the same kind loving light he saw in his trances. She smiles, beaming towards him, a look of recognition and love.
He swallows, the world seems to be closing in.
Instantly, though, that same world comes crashing down when he hears a small voice calling out. “Mama!! There you are! We’ve been looking all over for you!” A little girl runs past him, straight into Tav’s arms. Soon after a man comes up to them both and wraps an arm around Tav's waist.
He watches as the man kisses Tav and leads her away.
The rest of that day the way she looked past him burned in his mind. Could she have already forgotten about him? How long did it take for her to move on?
There's no point in dwelling on it now, he's got a lot of other things to worry about of course.
“Astarion? Are you okay? I didn't mean to pry again, I’m sorry.” Astarion is broken away from his thoughts by Octavia’s soft apology, her hand resting in his. He looks down at their hands intertwined. The flowers sit on the bench between them.
“The last time I saw her, she was standing at a stall like the one we were just at. I'm pretty sure she forgot who I was…or she had this look on her face like she did. I’ll never forget the way she looked into that mirror…This glossed over sort of blank empty look to her eyes. It was so strange, like she didn't remember where she was for a second.
Besides, she had a child and a husband? Partner? I don't know. I didn't hang around too long to ask, and I didn't want to cause any issues so I just stayed out of it.” Astarion confides, his voice mournful and far away.
Octavia feels the grip holding her hand tighten a bit, perhaps she's edging too close to his boundaries again? She rubs her hand on the top of Astarion’s arm. The motion soothes him and replaces the icy shards of sadness that pricked behind his eyes.
Somehow though, as he looks into her dazzling green eyes, he feels that lovely warmth in his chest. That feeling of comfort he’s longed for over a century.
They lock into each other, taking in their collective grief. Their sadness was the thing bringing them closer together. “You know, I’ve never told anyone about her.” Astarion confesses, “It's the first time that I've felt comfortable to feel this grief with someone who can relate. Thank you for giving me that opportunity to share a little with you.” He leans down and kisses her sweetly.
Octavia smiles reluctantly, a small shy blush grows on her cheeks. She must have something on her mind. “Is everything alright, my dear? You seem lost in thought.” Astarion asks.
She nods slowly, turning to look out to the market. “I was hoping that I wouldn't bring up anything sad, but I guess I couldn't make it through one date without ruining the moment.” Octavia huffs in a soft awkward laugh. “Gods, for once I wish I could stop being so melancholic and just enjoy the good things my life has given me lately. Like you.”
Astarion sits up a bit, he could feel a slight warmth at the tip of his ears, was he blushing? He clears his throat and asks, “Really? What about me?”
She smiles and plays with his fingers in her hand. “Where to start? You're kind, well…to me,” a soft giggle follows “you're smart, incredibly handsome. I feel pretty fortunate to have someone like you on my side, you understand me. Whoever let you go is foolish to have done so, but they opened up that path to you for me. So maybe they weren't so foolish after all.” Octavia lifts her hand, kissing the top of his hand.
“She didn't leave me. I left her. I left because I was scared. Scared that I couldn't take care of her how she wanted. Scared that she would figure that out on her own. That she would wake up one day and realize that I ruined her life. So I ran. I didn't even say goodbye. I just picked up my bag and left in the middle of the night. Like a coward.” Astarion spits out, the shame and regret dripping from his lips. His lips purse as he bites the inside of them.
Octavia frowns, she takes the flowers and places them on her lap. She plucks one out and begins to softly spin the flower, opening the petals. “You're not a coward.” She brings the flower up to his ear, tucking it behind.
“I don't think you're a coward for trying to keep someone you loved safe.” Her hand lingers on his cheek, caressing his face. “‘The things we do for love’, as my mom used to say.”
Astarion melts into the warmth of her hand. His heart felt the grief it was used to, but with her here it didn't seem so devastating. To allow himself to be vulnerable with someone felt strange, as most things involving Octavia do.
They sit in silence for a few seconds, before Octavia speaks “Not to change the subject or anything because I feel awkward,” she laughs a bit, “but I've noticed that you haven't been wearing your glasses lately? Did something change?”
Astarion bristles a bit, having to think on his feet. He was a bit hesitant to admit that he was not feeling the need to keep hiding behind the magical lenses any longer. In reality, he began to feel more comfortable to be himself around her.
But instead of giving her that openness, he lies again. “Oh, I…felt like I'd be calling more attention to myself if I were to have them on right now. Besides, wasn't it you that asked me why I wore them indoors right as Gale introduced you to me? I feel like this is the opposite of that.” Astarion ends with a soft tilted giggle.
“Imagine if someone stopped us to ask why I'm wearing sunglasses in the evening? As you so tactfully had that first night? That would have definitely ruined the date. Either way, you didn't do anything wrong. You’re perfect.” Astarion pulls Octavia close, releasing his hand on hers, and drapes his arm on her shoulder.
Octavia melts into his embrace, a bittersweet feeling hung over them. She brings her hand up to her shoulder and interlocks her fingers into his again. Astarion felt her relax a bit.
“How long will you be away?” “Do you want to come with me?” They speak at the same time, interrupting each other. Astarion clears his throat and Octavia laughs quietly. She turns her head to ask again, “Do you want to come with me to Wyvern Hills? I'll be gone for around six days?”
Astarion thinks it over, the idea of meeting her father was intimidating, even more so because he would probably have to explain his particular affliction. “I don't think so, darling. You deserve a break, and I don't think Gale can handle everything by himself again. I had him do that once and he nearly quit. It's too much for one person to handle. It would be unfair to him.”
Octavia feels Astarion’s other hand start to run up and down her arm. It's as if he was soothing her, or himself, maybe both? He was beginning to recognize the same comfort of sitting in silence with a loved one. The reminiscences of a quiet evening under the stars.
The sounds of nature envelop them, an intimate orchestra for two lost souls floating in an everlasting ocean of grief. In the vast darkness, they find the light and come together.
Octavia had lost herself to these feelings like so many times before. Astarion was born in it, used to the push and pull of it. Having lost the will to swim against it and let the waves crash over him, caught in its current thrashed around, but this was different.
To Astarion, Octavia feels like the safety net pulling him from the depths. The warmth of her affections was melting away his fears. His heart wanted to tell her how he felt. To confirm that after all these years, he finally felt the warmth of loving someone again.
“I lo-” Astarion almost confesses when he catches himself and continues, "I'll miss you. A lot. I just realized that we haven't been apart since we met. It'll be strange not having you around.” He leans down and kisses her cheek. “Come back to me, okay?”
Octavia felt her cheeks flush and her heart flutter.
Was he..? No…I’m probably just projecting.
Octavia couldn't deny her feelings for Astarion. The little flashes of lightning whenever he held her, made her laugh, or kissed her were exhilarating.
She couldn't deny that she loved him.
Octavia was terrified to tell him so after hearing him talk about his lost love. Who would she be if she heard all his pain and immediately said “Well, guess what? I love you!”? Her face felt hot, how long had they been sitting here?
She turns to Astarion and kisses him, she lets her feelings pour into their kiss. Octavia could feel tears gathering behind her eyes, “I’ll miss you too.” She smiles and kisses him again, feeling him lean into her, his arms wrapping around her.
Octavia pulls away a bit, “I should go home now, I told my dad I would try to be there as early as I could.” Astarion responds with a whine, Octavia giggles as he plants small kisses all over her cheeks, nose and lips.
“Don't miss me too much, Star.”
“Is that a challenge, darling?”
They laugh as Astarion unwraps himself from her, he stands and holds his hand out. Octavia takes it and they walk off into the night.
They leave the flowers on the bench.
--------------------------
Octavia walks up to the cobblestone cottage she grew up in. The patch of wildflowers she used to run in have turned into a full meadow, their blooms alert and open as if welcoming her back.
She walks up the gravel path to the doorway, noticing a small hummingbird on the hibiscus bush her mom lovingly tended. She smiles watching it flit away. Her trip would be over soon. A ping of sadness runs through her, saying goodbye to the place is going to be hard.
Suddenly the door swings open. Her father, Ralomaer, stands at the doorway with a giant grin on his face. He has a red flannel shirt on with some white powder on the bottom and some dark pants.“Hey kid! Have a nice walk? Are ya hungry? Got some breakfast made up for you!”
“Did you make waffles by any chance?” Octavia asks, with a laugh. Her dad tilts his head, his brows furrowed and he shakes his head, “Yeah, how’d you know??” Octavia laughs harder and points at his shirt. “You're covered in powdered sugar, Dad.”
Ralomaer laughs and waves his hand over the fabric, cleaning it up. Octavia walks up to him and remarks, “That must come in handy, you always used to hate doing laundry.”
Her dad laughs, “Well when you live alone, it's kind of pointless to wash one thing at a time. This is faster and better for the environment. Anyway, go eat. I'll meet you upstairs when you're done, it's attic day!” He waves his hands in a flourish, as Octavia walks past him and into the kitchen. Her dad climbs up the stairs.
Later that morning, Octavia sits cross-legged on the floor of the attic. Her father sits across from her on an old wooden chair. Between them sat an open wooden crate full of letters, drawings, photos, and many memories from her childhood.
“Okay, now I understand why you wanted me to come by and have this visit with you so urgently. This is really nice to go through with you, Dad.” Octavia chirps excitedly.
“Well don't thank me, thank your Auntie Taeladra! She insisted I clean the attic since she bought the house from me. Kept telling me something about ‘Preserving family history’ and ‘can you tell Octavia to come instead, isn't this pretty much her job.’” Ralomear holds up his hands, making finger quotes.
“Gods, she sounds like my coworker, Gale.” Octavia and her father laugh, as she rifles through the crate. Finding medals, trophies, countless books, letters, and pictures.
“You know, I think you’d like Gale. He's pretty funny. He's smart, witty, and so quick! He's been a great mentor, and an amazing friend. I'm really lucky to have him.” Octavia smiles warmly as she keeps rifling through the crate.
Her father stares at her, a puzzled look on his face. “What? What's that look for??” Octavia asks playfully.
“Are you dating this Gale? That was a lot of complimentary language for someone who is just a friend, my darling.” Ralomear gently teased.
“Dad! No! He's not my type! Besides, I'm way too busy with all the research and work and just…everything.” Octavia laughs, hiding her face behind her hair. She quickly looks away, hoping that her answer would squash this conversation.
“Oh my little bookworm! Don't keep your head in the books too long, you'll miss out on writing your own story.” Ralomear pinches Octavia’s cheek adoringly.
She smiles at her father, a little embarrassed laugh leaves her lips. A feeling of dread grows, she knows that her visit might end with her having to possibly define whatever she's got going on with Astarion. A small seed of insecurity plants itself in her stomach. How could she ever find a way to ease her father’s worries when it came to her love life?
“I’m gonna see what else is back there.” Octavia gets up and starts looking through the rest of the crates that occupied the attic. They were all stacked neatly in the corner of the little room. She walks up to the circular window next to the stack and opens the thin curtain.
Small dust spores kick up as she swings the window open, allowing the fresh air and sunlight to flood in. When she turns she notices a dusty tarp in the darkened corner of the attic. Some canvas frames sat on top of the tarp, it was staged as if it was trying to conceal something.
Octavia comes up to the items, carefully moving them aside. What she finds is an old wooden crate. “What the..?” She runs her hand on the edge of it, easily sliding it open. “Woah…hey Dad? I found something?”
Ralomaer looks up quizzically and wanders over. He stands with a hand on his hip, the other scratches at his beard. “Well would you look at that! Didn't even know that old crate was in here! No wonder your auntie wanted you to come through here, you and your museum skills are great for finding old junk!” he laughs.
Octavia began digging through the crate. Inside were old spell scrolls, tomes, stacks of handwritten letters from her great grandmother, the other adventures she traveled with, even highly detailed hand drawn maps!
Octavia could not believe the amazing treasure trove she had just unearthed in her own home. How long has this been here waiting for her to find it?
She finds a book full of sketches of various plants, animals, and locations all over Faerun. Octavia fixates on a fully illustrated image of the inside of what looks like an Illithid colony! She continues to flip through it, mesmerized by the way everything is drawn.
Octavia turns the page and is struck with drawings of eyes that look relatively close to Astarion’s own. She feels a strange sort of recognition from looking at the drawings.
The blood colored irises that were lovingly depicted in charcoal and ink, have a haunting familiarity to them. She knows Astarion is old, but she never asked exactly how old…
Her father pulls her out of her suspicions, “Lookie here, Tavvy! I found a rather interesting letter!” Ralomear recalls as he unfolds the antique parchment, handing it to Octavia. She reads the letter, her mind a little frazzled by yet another strange coincidence.
Darling Tav,
Laurent tells me you've been having nightmares again. It's been about 20 years since everything happened, are you still being plagued by the memories of it all, or just one particular, specific person? I still have some of my contacts from the House of Grief from my days as a Sharran. If you're serious about taking the risk, I could put you in contact with them. Let me know when you two get settled into your cottage. Lae and I can be over as soon as a tenday.
You're always in my thoughts, my dear friend.
Love always,
Shadowheart
“House of Grief? That sounds ominous.” Octavia remarks, remembering the extreme rituals Sharrans would take in order to release painful memories. Octavia could hardly imagine the suffering of those who felt it necessary to forget something, to now know that her own grandmother endured that shakes Octavia to her core.
“Sharrans eh? Good thing you did that whole exhibit on them! Maybe your friend Gale can help you out with this stuff?” Ralomear remarks.
“Yeah…maybe… Do you think Grammy had some PTSD from the whole Netherbrain thing?” Octavia asks quietly, the seriousness weighing heavy on her heart.
“I’m not sure, baby. Your mom always avoided the subject with me. Something about not wanting to dwell on the past and enjoying the time you had in the now. It was the one thing I never understood about your mom. How I wish you could ask her now.” Ralomear solemnly muses. He looks at Octavia, smiling mournfully.
They stay in the silence for a moment, before Octavia breaks. “I miss her. I could really use her brain right now.” She runs her finger along the outside of the crate.
“I miss her too. You definitely took after her, your brilliance is obviously her doing, my heart.” Ralomear takes Octavia’s hand in hers, squeezing it lovingly.
“I am so proud of you, I know your mom would be too. Now, let's keep digging through her stuff!” Ralomear smiles warmly and releases her hand.
Octavia shuffles through a stack of books, most of them run of the mill books, nothing too noteworthy. Until she notices a blue-gray fabric bound book. In silver letters across the front it read ‘Warming the Melancholy Heart’. She cards through it, until a small hand written letter falls out.
Octavia opens it, scanning the page. She gasos and begins to read the letter to her father.
Laurent,
The Unburdening your wife chose to follow through with should have fully set in by now. I have sent you some recommended reading should you have any questions about the procedure. Your wife has all my gratitude for all she did for me and the others. To give her this blessed relief in this trying time is the least I could do.
As per her concern, she may have some fleeting memories, but those should fade in time. Should she have any aftereffects or complications, do not hesitate to contact me again.
Shar’s blessings be upon you,
Nocturne
“Unburden? What does that mean?” Ralomear asks Octavia, handing her the letter.
Octavia reads through the thin book, the words describing the taking of memories sound as if they're trying to lessen the serious action being taken.
The remedy may seem non-existent, but it is not so. No heart that beats is a stranger to that which gives it joy - you must seek it out however you can.
Octavia flips through the book, most of it is filled with testimonials from people who went through the process. Lines of affirmation for what has been done to forget. Her eyes linger on one of the pages describing the aftereffects, symptoms ticked in red ink, tally marks keeping track of each in black.
✓ Forgetfulness ///
✓ Melancholy ////
✓ Face blindness //
✓ Staring at nothing //
✓ Nightmares of past memories /////////
These shall subside as time passes, you will need to guide your loved one through the process moving past their burdens. Should they seem different, another session may be required.
You may notice your loved one have an empty, far off look to their eyes, that will lift as their healing progresses. If you find they are forgetting more than intended, return to the House of Grief.
Be aware of them looking into mirrors for a long period of time.
"Mirror??? What?” Octavia gasps, covering her mouth quickly after. “Tavvy? Everything alright? Your face looks really sweaty all of a sudden…” Her dad reaches out and places the back of his hand on her forehead. “Oh yeah, you're feeling a little warm, why don't you go lie down? We're almost done for today, so I can finish up and bring some tea to your room?” he gives her a soft pat on the shoulder.
Octavia nods, “Sure, thanks Dad.” she can't wrap her mind around everything she just read and saw. She grabs the sketchbook and the book on Unburdening and walks out of the room. She descends the thin ladder leading up to the attic, then walks into her room, closing the door.
Octavia presses her back against the door, sliding down until she's sitting on the floor. The sketchbook closely held to her chest.
She opens the book back up to the images of the eyes. There's no doubt in her mind that she's looking into the same eyes that she had back on the bench outside the market.
Suddenly, Octavia remembers that she had the enchanted journal at the bottom of her bag. She crawls over to her bag at the foot of the bed, and flips furiously through it.
One entry immediately catches her attention.
Gods, it's been incredibly hard trying to keep these entries as neutral as I can. There's no telling what else could come for A. About two tenday ago, we went through that freaky meadow, A and I ran into a Gur hunter named Gandrel. Said he was looking for a vampire spawn, I noticed A’s whole attitude immediately change. His face looked as if he had been slapped. Those eyes that keep staring at me, turned so fox-like and angular. As soon as we heard A’s name come from the hunter’s lips, it was over. I have never seen him move like that. He swears it’s Cazador, but what would Cazador need him for?
Octavia presses her knees up to her chest. She closes her eyes and tries to push the notion of this being Astarion whom her ancestor is referring to out of her mind. It can't be him, could it?
She reaches over to the foot of her bed and rips through her bag, shaking out its contents, until finding a black velvet bag. She slips the ribbon off, taking out the red leather bound book that Astarion had given her.
She flips through, reading the first few lines. It speaks of people who had been captured, the various ways in which they were beaten, tortured, abused, and finally, bled try and turned.
Each one had an entire 20 page section dedicated to their specific treatment. Near the bottom of one page, she notices a name.
According to Aurelia, the Gur sent someone to find him. I sent Dalarya and Petras to stalk the Gur encampment in Rivington. They are to kill whoever does not give up information.
The boy will be found, I need him to ascend. The Ritual of Profane Ascension will be completed.
I WILL BECOME THE VAMPIRE ASCENDANT.
Ritual of Profane Ascension…where had she seen that phrase before? Octavia goes back to Tav’s journal, flipping through until she sees those words again.
Today, I got a better look at his back.
He's got a circular scar with Infernal written all around. When I saw it the morning after the party with the tieflings, he said it was poetry, but he didn't know that I know Infernal. I was hesitant to tell him what it really was, but something told me to keep being honest.
When I asked him where he got it, he told me it was a gift from his old master, Cazador. I explained to him that I believed it was a binding glyph, Cazador was planning something and whatever it is, it seems he needs the missing piece that I have in my party.
My suspicions were proven correct when we met up with the devil after finishing the Gauntlet of Shar and killing the Orthon.
He told us about this Rite of Profane Ascension. How Cazador needs 7 of his spawn to sacrifice along with many others to make himself into some kind of super vampire that can walk in the sun, go into homes without being invited, all those things that go along with being a vampire….
I'm not so sure about it though. Raphael explained that the soul of the Ascendant would be lost, and he would be a shell of his former self.
I don't know if I could go through with it. Killing all those people? It seems like such a big decision to make, so permanent and serious. We had a group meeting after everyone cleaned up and had dinner. Karlach and Wyll were adamantly against it. They can't justify all that loss for one person to benefit.
Gale and Shadow had more rational arguments, they both had ambitions to be greater than they were through their own rites. A seemed to listen to Shadow over Gale, but ultimately it was Lae’zel that convinced him otherwise.
She told him how all she wanted was to serve her Queen, but after seeing everything we have, she realized that she can't keep chasing the shadow of a lie. Sometimes, we have things we want, and we find that to achieve them, we would lose all of ourselves. If that was the case, what was he chasing after? If he wanted freedom, he's already free.
I think that was what finally opened Star’s eyes.
Star??
“Fuck me.” Octavia can feel the color drain out of her face. She looks around the floor at all the books that were surrounding her. She picks up the sketchbook and keeps looking through.
She noticed that every so often, there are pages ripped out. As if someone tore them up in a fit of rage. When she reaches the page with the eyes, she sees a little doodle of a star beside each one.
Octavia can't help the trembling in her hands, there's been this creeping suspicion inside her for a few weeks now.
The enchantment Gale broke, the log book Astarion gave her, the way he described his lost love seeming like they had been Unburdened and now all this? The clues are becoming glaringly obvious to her, but, it can't be….can it?
Her heart is thundering inside her chest as she keeps going through the pages of the sketchbook, more torn pages, drawings of flowers, and finally near the end of the book, two full pages of the binding glyph that Tav had described.
Three circles, almost like a bullseye, surrounded by Infernal symbols. The scarring looked deep and painful. Octavia’s mind races remembering how Astarion winced and seemed to not want her to touch him there.
Octavia’s eyes survey the page and her breath is ripped out from her lungs when she sees a profile drawing of Astarion looking her right back in the face. She can feel the tears well up behind her eyes, her entire life she had been told about this grand adventure, this amazing thing that her great grandmother had done for the city she loved.
There's almost double the amount of writings speaking all about a seventh spawn. It used a code for their abuses and names but I was one set of entries that surpassed all others in her eyes.
Octavia swallows, she grabs the red leather book one more time, she opens the book towards the end, as soon as she sees his name, it all comes crashing down on her.
I have dispatched the brood. They will find him and bring him home. And when they do, I will make him scream for this.
Their tale was fanciful, but they believe it to be true. Astarion, standing in the sun’s light? Willing and able to disobey me? Inconceivable.
My spawns fail me. Astarion eludes me. I WILL HAVE MY DUE.
Octavia’s blood runs cold.
There it was, hidden in plain sight this whole time. Astarion is everything that she has been searching for. He's the one who was there, the one who was in the paintings, the one who Tav forgot. All the evidence was clear, and now seeing his name in this journal that she barely bothered to look at back home…
Home.
Oh gods, how was she going to be able to look Astarion in the face now?
The only thing that made her doubt all of this was his back. She hadn’t seen it yet. She dreaded having to ask to see it, what would she say? How would he react? She presses her head up against the footboard of her bed, closing her eyes tightly.
Octavia's heart shattered as she sat clutching her knees tightly to her chest. The room grew smaller and the air around her was stifling and thick. Between the sobs, she tried to catch her breath, trying to stop the room from spinning, holding on to her legs, anything to ground her.
But what was left to stand on? Everything she knew up to this moment had been a giant mystery until now, shrouded in a decades-long secret. Locked away behind paintings and books, the things that once gave her comfort, that now sat scattered about her felt tainted.
She shoved them away, call it anger, frustration, fear, it all blurred together now. The floor felt like shifting sand, like it would give way at any moment sucking her down. Hiding her, like the other 7000, like his siblings like him...HIM.
Did he know? Did he know about her relationship to Tav? She had so many questions now and everything felt more and more uncertain. He loved Tav, and she had loved him that was for certain. Was he still in mourning, did he regret leaving Tav? Was she Tav's replacement?
Oh gods the room was spinning as Octavia lay down on the floor curled in on herself. She couldn't think that way, but she couldn't help it anymore. She no longer was thinking with a clear and rational head, instead, she let her emotions control her.
Binding her to the belief that Astarion once upon a time loved a woman so intimately, that she would never be able to fill that void. As sleep took her the last thought that plagued the visions within her mind was one that had read in the journal, something that Tav had penned so long ago.
Would Astarion ever leave Octavia like he had left her? And if he didn't would she ever be good enough for him to convince him to stay?
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aroeddiediaz · 16 hours
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20 questions for fic writers
Tagged by @cal-daisies-and-briars , @jesuiscenseedormir , @diazsdimples
How many works do you have on ao3?
27!
What's your total ao3 word count?
61,537
What fandoms do you write for?
Currently I’m pretty much exclusively a 9-1-1 writer, but in the past I wrote a lot of Flarrowverse (do they still call it that?). I also have published fics for Fantastic Beasts and a few anime (Given, Haikyuu, Saiki K). Given the number of Bnha wips i have locked away in the vault it’s amazing I don’t have anything published for that.
Top 5 fics by kudos:
(I am omitting all the Flarrowverse fics in my top 5 on the basis that they were written in high school and I’ve changed as a person, and they probably only beat out on the numbers due to being up for years longer)
1. Kabe-Do’s and Kabe-Don’ts (Given, 861 kudos)
2. You’re Not Special (Saiki K, 598 kudos)
3. How Eddie Learned To Stop Worrying And Embrace The Kitten Life (9-1-1, 327 kudos)
4. The Boy Formerly Known As Miracle (Haikyuu, 277 kudos)
5. Under The Hood (9-1-1, 275 kudos)
Do you respond to comments?
Yes!! As many as I can!
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
This probably has to be The Crimes of Queenie Goldstein, in which Queenie is put on trial for her actions during the war. Don’t @ me but Queenie turning traitor was bu far the most interesting part of the Crimes of Grindelwald (the only interesting thing, really). There could be such an interesting story between her and Tina if only JKR would let the movies out of her grasp.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Fuck, idk if I have a happiest ending fic, a lot of them tend to not have that much story arc. (A lot of established relationship fluff or smut lmao). I guess if I had to pick one it would probably be How Eddie Learned To Stop Worrying and Embrace The Kitten Life.
Do you get hate on fics?
Not since that one anti-olicity fic that I wrote while deep in the trenches of Flarrowverse discourse, which I totally deserved :/. I have regrets. Also I should probably orphan/delete that one if I haven’t already. In my defense, high school. I have learned.
Do you write smut?
Yea lol. I think my 9-1-1 stuff has been almost exclusively smut. Idk how it happened. (I do know how it happened smut is fun to write)
Craziest crossover?
I haven’t published any of my crossover fics :( none of them have been complete enough. I have many many unfinished RotBTD wips that have never seen the light of day though.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Who would steal my stuff? Lol
Have you ever had a fic translated?
One time someone offered to translate one of my fics into Russian but idk if that ever actually happened.
Have you co-written a fic before?
Nope
All time favorite ship?
Right now definitely Buddie! Percabeth holds a special place in my heart though <3
What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Ok. After the end of the Heroes of Olympus Series, but before Trials of Apollo was announced, I tried my own hand at writing the sequel that was clearly coming based on all the loose threads in the final book. It was going to be a Solangelo quest to save the Oracle of Delphi from Python, while Akhys tries to poison Percy to turn him into an evil god(?). Half the details have been lost and I desperately want to remember them, because I haven’t attempted anything nearly as cool or ambitious since then. The first 5 chapters are posted on my ao3 (Will Solace and the Oracle’s Cry) and I still think high school me had the most interesting characterization of Will out of everyone else on the internet at the time. Even if it is still very 2015.
What are your writing strengths?
I think I’m good at getting into the heads of different characters. Understanding their motives and weaknesses.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Editing.
Lmao I have a lot of weaknesses but I definitely struggle the most with trying to look back on or change things I’ve already written, even when it’s necessary.
Also my tendency to just drop fics if I stop working on them for too long. Rip to my wip graveyard.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
That’s a minefield I’m not willing to play in. Unless it’s Chinese. Very limited amounts of Chinese. Or like, a pet name or phrase that’s already ubiquitous in fandom so I’m not risking anything.
First fandom you wrote in?
Percy Jackson!! That Will Solace quest is the first thing I ever wrote! I definitely had a tendency to jump into the deep end with new hobbies lmao. Like my first ever cosplay that took me 3 years to complete.
Favorite fic you've written?
I think my favorite fic is always going to be the one I’m currently working on writing. But I am very proud of the silly little dramatic ironies in In Hindsight, which I wrote entirely over one long lunch the day after 7x04 broke me. Also I have to shoutout Teacher’s Pet, that one ruler spanking fic nobody ever reads because it’s Eddie/Ana lmao. I enjoyed putting in a bunch of tiny incompatibilities between them. So, uh, I guess my favorite thing in my own writing is dramatic irony?
Tagging: @aspecbuddie @pirrusstuff @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @lemonzestywrites @your-catfish-friend @inkmortal-trash389 @evanbegins s @wildlife4life @eddiebabygirldiaz @epicbuddieficrecs @kitteneddiediaz @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @coatedpanda16 @nicotinewrites @estheticpotaeto @babytrapperdiaz @snowviolettwhite @wikiangela
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Stupid Little Details I Forgot I Loved About Wreck-it Ralph
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Ralph’s teal undershirt. I don’t know who came up with it, or if it was meant to just symbolize his similarities to Vanellope (outcast, looking for some appreciation, in desperate need of hugs & a decent bed) and Felix (good guy, really sweet when you give him a chance, more of a lover than a fighter) or just to give his design a little something to make it all pop, but by God it was the perfect decision!
Felix is a video game character who absolutely hates conflict. He’ll do anything to avoid direct confrontation, and even his gameplay is about mitigating the damage Ralph causes. Which makes his interactions with Calhoun & his outburst in the Fungeon all the more satisfying, as he stands up for himself & refuses to dance around the issues at hand.
The subtle nods to Ralph & Felix’s canon & meta origins as knockoffs of Donkey Kong & Mario respectively. Ralph went through a LOT of changes in early development, but you can see hints of his relation to Donkey Kong in his expressions as he smashes the jawbreaker & when he pounds his chest with excitement as Vanellope taps into her racing skills for the first time.
Calhoun’s hair serving as a metaphor for her emotional state. There were early plans to give her camouflage powers and have her disappear into the background when she got more distressed, but the crew thought it would be a bit too distracting & decided to use her bangs to represent her emotions instead. A wise decision, especially when her hair subtly comes over her eyes during the wedding flashback as she guns down the Cy Bug that ate (and started transforming into) her husband.
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figofswords · 2 months
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is midna the kitten named after midna from the legend of zelda
yeah and it turns out that was a mistake because she’s a mischievous little imp who big time lives up to her namesake
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literallycarrie · 11 months
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i was looking through my notes app and found some notes i wrote while reading edge of great (the jatp novelisation) in feburary 2021 so i thought i'd post them bc i miss the time when i was so obsessed with jatp i could quote large parts of it from memory:
okay it's thicker than i expected this is a good start
multiple povs?! oh my god yesyesyes
i've read one page and I'm already loving it because i was expecting it to just be a retelling of the action with barely any insight to characters thoughts other than "i was feeling sad :(" but it's giving so much more than that
luke says sunset curve were all "vibing" shdhfnd
the dialogue is slightly different in some places but honestly i don't hate it
a pink flower in a vase next to rose?? the dahlia symbolism is here already people
bobby is a cheesy hopeless romantic confirmed
[luke about trying to be modest] "it was a new look for me, i'll admit." avdhfdhdhd
alex interrupts reggie trying to flirt with rose avdbfjdd i'm loving the new dialogue
THE HOT DOG CART IS BASICALLY CALLED SALMONELLA I-
luke makes a joke about staving to death oh god the dramatic irony
julie's literal first words are "my best friend flynn is amazing" 🥺🥺
JULIE SAID FLYNN WAS HER OTHER HALF 🥺🥺😭
loz feliz performing arts high school??
julie calls carrie cute?? girl-
i've been spelling dirty candi as "dirty candy" this whole time. whoops.
trevor has literal platinum records but the thing julie decides to point out is that one of his songs was in a car advert shdjdjfjf
nooo they took out flynn shouting demon at carrie
julie mentions flynn and how amazing she is at nearly every given opportunity
"flynn and i were always straight with each other" this is meant to a dramatic moment but i'm laughing at this ahdjdnem
julie is a writer!! not just of lyrics/poems, she writes other stuff too!!
she describes the garage as being full of ghosts when referring to memories of her mum... i'm living for all the dramatic irony
ahh julie and ray are speaking in spanish to each other so much more than they did the show
the teacup and spoon rose had been using before she died were still there 🥺
julie says that she felt like her mum was telling her to play the cd ahhh
the first thing she says about the guys is that they're cute JULIE AHDJFK
wavy hair reggie yesss
julie says oh my god instead of oh my gosh
julie doesn't know luke's name so she's calling him floppy acdjfjrks
her reasoning for letting the guys stay in the garage was because she thought it was what rose would've done 🥺🥺
ALEX'S POV HELL YEAH
they took out reggie losing his shirt this is so sad 😔
[alex about julie playing wake up] "i couldn't remember the last time I felt so moved by music that wasn't actually my own."
okay i get why they changed povs but i kind of wish we'd gotten julie's pov while she played wake up
the first episode took up about 1/5 of the book jesus-
they skipped the bit about the only thing scarier than one girl crying being two girls crying 😔
flynn: "instagram" alex: "what-stagram?"
flynn hugs julie after she tells her about playing music again awwww
noo they cut out the scene where ray comes in to the studio ffs stop cutting scenes please
alex: "it tingles in weird places" alex, literally one line later: "well, it did."
according to alex the other describe him as "warm and fuzzy"
also so far everyone's pov has called luke out for being too cheesy
reggie: "i'm gonna guess death breath"
alex is now describing luke as the puppy reggie never had
alex calling luke and reggie his family 🥺😭
when julie went into her room and found the guys messing around she was on her way to text flynn 🥺 this book just makes me love their friendship so much more
reggie is described as having "a mop of hair" god i wish 😔
dahlia symbolism count: 3. so far it's been a vase next to rose, the curtains in the studio, and the flowers in julie's picture of her
luke: "our instruments are attached to our souls." reggie: "and sometimes our belts."
okay so the book confirms that julie found therapy helpful but she just didn't want to go back because she thought others would see her as fragile, which imo is a lot better than in the show when she just seemed like she hated it
they merged alex asking if julie got back into music with luke showing her bright which i get because if they kept everything in the book would be pretty long but... idk i kinda liked how it was just julie and luke when he showed her bright
julie describes the wow performance as being like a superbowl half-time show
list of celebs who've been name-dropped so far: weezer, the smashing pumpkins, katy perry, and harry styles
julie wanted to kiss kayla?!? wlw julie confirmed
YES TIME FOR REGGIE'S POV
reggie's internal dialogue is using way more words than necessary and as an autistic person I relate to that so i'm gonna use this as proof reggie is autistic 😙✌
reggie says how little julie's smiled since they met and is now describing her smile in detail 🥺🥺
me, seeing that reggie's pov is already over: :(
me seeing that it's alex's pov and he's about to meet willie: :D
avxhfjfldnd alex was so mesmerised by how beautiful willie was he forgot to speak 😭😭
damn they took out willie asking alex if he's into guys if he wanted a picture with fake marilyn monroe (they changed it to spider-man)
y'all willie gave alex a hip bump I'm dying over here
"wait, how can i see you again?" god this is killing me i love them 😭🥺
"even if you don't have questions" willie is hardcore flirting and i respect that
"i liked the sound of that" god it's been a few minutes and alex is already whipped agshdndm
dahlia reference number 4 (this time it's a mug)
instead of calling julie "insanely talented" luke calls her "annoyingly talented"
julie canonically uses the word "bonkers" and idk why i love that so much
ahhh i'm already halfway through the book and it's still episode 3
FLYNN'S POV OH MY GOD YES YES YES
i'll look at the pictures first though
okay now onto flynn's pov
maybe this is just me, but why does everyone say "mother" instead of "mom" all the time? it seems weirdly formal but whatever
flynn calls flying solo "our song" (meaning her and julie's) 🥺
svdbfjff whenever alex went to meet willie he just said he was going for a walk
wait, walks? plural?! alex and willie had more interactions and we didn't get to see them?! livid 😤
willie wanted to show alex the museum because it was one of his favourite places... god I'm soft
"i would've followed willie just about anywhere" stoppp this is too much for me 😭🤧
"together. i liked the sound of that." awwefdhehrhe
alex's catchphrase seems to be "I liked the sound of that" rather than "okay"
"so close that I could feel his breath" why did I think they were gonna kiss 💀💀
willie: "feels good, right?" alex: "yeah, it does." alex, in his head: "i was talking about the screaming, but i was talking about being here, now, with willie, too." oh god oh fuck-
"wagging an eyebrow" girl why is that worded so weird 😭💀
nah there's no way luke doesn't know what a sample is
yess we're back to luke's pov 😎
the book confirms that it was luke who wrote "hi bobby" on the mirror but i still refuse to believe it because of the one tumblr post i saw comparing all the boys handwriting and saying it was reggie (also the writing it too neat to be luke's 😌)
they cut the entire julie-sneaks-around-while-flynn-distracts-carrie bit 😔 (and also the guys mooning trevor)
"and the truth was, [julie] was becoming important to me. i hated to let her down." awwww 🥺🥺
sbdjfkfl reggie called the hgc creepy and alex got defensive because it "was willie's place"
when luke said they were "overdressed" they all tucked their shirts in
ffs not the eyebrow wagging again (this time from flynn)
so julie considers carrie as her frenemy and not an actual enemy... inch resting...
"the awkward "joke" just sat in the air like dead fish" abdhfjf what are these metaphors
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT WILLIE'S POV?!?! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT HOLY FUCK AHHHHH
awww when alex asked about the lifers being "sworn to secrecy" willie wanted to telm him about caleb owning everyone at the hgc's souls but he couldn't 🥺🥺 if I catch anyone posting willie slander it's on sight 🥊😠🥊
OKAY WHAT I'M LIVID - they reduced the whole "do this forever"/"there's a lot to like here" thing to just the dialogue. literally no mentions of the lingering glances or luke's "you got a crush on willie". fucking disgraceful. i hate it here.
THERE - WE LITERALLY HAVE PROOF THAT WILLIE DIDN'T KNOW CALEB WANTED THE GUYS TO JOIN HE HGC WILLIE ANTIS CAN GO HOME NOW
willie watched the guys getting stamped and said it felt like his stomach was filling with lead SEE I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY WILLIE SLANDER IN THIS HOUSE
willie noticed alex looking into the crowd before leaving and wondered if he was looking for him... do tell me willie who else could he possibly be looking for
"alex said, looking stressed (then again, when did alex look not stressed?)" avshdnfmfr
julie describes nick's voice as "soft" and "graveled"
apparently julie has had a crush on nick since kindergarten, and in kindergarten nick cried because he couldn't get the lid off of his glue stick
luke says that knowing he let julie down at the dance hurt more than caleb's jolts 🥺🥺
the boys' little "sorry" song has it's lyrics written the same way the other songs, the ones actually in the soundtrack, do. tell me jatp why the sorry song isn't on the soundtrack right now 🔫😠
literally no mention of alex's dancing what in the homophobia
according to julie, finally free is about the power of connecting through music, but i still choose to believe it's a gay anthem about coming out
when julie saw her dad cooking breakfast and humming finally free she "almost died from how cute it was"
wait i just realised throughout this whole book there's been barely any mentions of julie and luke sharing the mic, and nothing about luke and reggie sharing either, and julie waking through luke in bright was just ignored. disgusting.
julie canonically thinks ray is the best dad ever 🥺🥺
that being said I'm pissed the book cut reggie from this scene
julie describes herself as being "charmed" by luke being nervous jskdkkdhs
flynn's pov again babey 😎
lmao nevermind the chapter was two pages long
also the whole perfect harmony sequence is just cut and all we hear is julie mention it to flynn... bruh
reggie and alex both see how hard luke is simping for julie and just give each other shit-eating grins whenever he mentions her dgehdjdj
when willie tells alex he can't explain why he's spying on him alex says "and to think i had felt there had maybe been something between us" fuckk
alex wondered if willie had ever had feelings for him or if he was playing him the whole time 🥺😭 bby nooo
they cut girls amirite... no one talk to me...
y'all... i think, other from julie, alex has had the most pov chapters... interesting...
the boys were literally so distressed about flynn eating pizza when they could smell it and not eat it and said they'd die of deprivation sgdhdjfkd
alex: *was choking back a sob*
willie: *was choking back a sob*
me: *was also choking back a sob*
😃 wtf... when willie says he cares about alex and hates that he brought them all into this mess, alex snaps at him... bro wtf that is not what happened and doesn't fit in with what alex was feeling in that moment at all... fuck this book
julie hugs flynn in the book at lot more than in the show so maybe it does have rights after all...
they've made a "face the music" pun at least 5 times so far in this book
wait - luke says that julie played his parents unsaid emily implying she sang it?? yo...
"but there was nothing I could say, nothing I could do, to make things better. so instead, I watched her go." why does that line hit so hard
"i pulled him in for a quick hug" lmao girl no
I JUST REALISED they cut the "i would've still followed you" scene 😭 the homophobia of it all 💀💀
'"i won't forget you," he said before spoofing out. Me either.' god don't do this to me today 🥺🥺
"with my smoothest dance move" now THAT'S the alex i know and love
the promoter and his assistant have names now: frank and tasha
the book's nearly over and i just realised there were barely any reggie pov chapters 🥺 not only is he my comfort character i also really liked his internal dialogue... oh well 😔
they really let there be spelling mistakes in this book smh
"who knew sunset boulevard smelled like cat pee and old takeout containers? not very glamorous, given that this was my hollywood rockstar dream."
"the music filling me like air - like joy" god I love that line
julie feels the need to point out how good luke looks in his tuxedo avdhdndmd
"i'm gonna miss you." "not as much as we're gonna miss you." oh god oh fuck-
wait THEY GRABBED HANDS ON STAGE??! AM I MISSING SOMETHING!?!?
"are you real?" "we were always real. But now... maybe... we're here?"
okay so i finished it and it was fun to read overall but i felt like past episode 3 was very rushed and condensed (makes sense since episode 3 finished past the half-way point of the book) and it stopped being as well written (barely any internal dialogue and descriptors), and some moments were mischaracterised heavily (including a lot of the willex) and juke just didn't seem developed at all. also i wish reggie had gotten more pov chapters since he's, y'know, a main character. i'm pretty sure he got, like, 2 :( also a lot of the music scenes lacked emotion but since this is an adaptation of something with music without music i'll let it slide. it was still nice to read either way.
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margariemargarita · 8 months
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ceejay's big bad list of favorite game romances [1/∞] ↳ alistair theirin (dragon age: origins) "your desire is my command."
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fxllfaiiry · 11 months
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We can find all the content in the world for Billy (canonically a racist) but not for Argyle (has done nothing wrong but is brown which means the st fandom is allergic to him) and I'm gonna scream
nah cuz this!! there are barely any argyle fics out there, he's such a vibe tbh.
do people still write for stranger things tho?? like genuinely?? I've seen a few fics but idk, honestly I'm not into stranger things anymore cuz that fandom started to become toxic :/
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unluckystreak · 2 years
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I am feeling my Irish blood in this chili's tonight
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months
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Happy Valentine's Day! (and this blog's first post anniversary!)
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lilybug-02 · 5 months
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you guys have your oc's or just random characters living in your head rent free? I imagine they have a little lounge.
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