#but idk how much ill do today

[cryoexorcist]

.

#/ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴍᴜsᴛ ᴄᴏᴡᴇʀ ɪɴ ғᴇᴀʀ / ooc #just woke up #and i feel awful #like cramping-im-gonna-cry awful #so ill be lurking #but idk how much ill do today #pls send nice asks though?

[reel-fear]

Wow, so umm... This looks bad, not only is it inaccurate due to using the wrong ink demon design [unless this is confirmation BATIM Ink Demon has been outright retconned... Which would make me pissed enough to make a new post just about THAT] but from an art standpoint this is just... Confusing and poorly done.

I wouldn't care if this was fanart, of course you should support young, indie artists... But for a Graphic Novel making sure your cover doesn't look like something Butch Hartman shat out in an afternoon is kind of important. Remember they're going to be asking us to give money to them to read this. The artist likely won't see any of that money and neither do the authors most of the time, not to mention this art screams of the artist being underpaid and overworked.

Like they Had to get something on someone's desk and their boss said 'good enough'. A concept Joey Drew Studios is very familiar with considering the allegations of poor working environments that Kindly Beast. Not to mention Mike Mood admitting in a Reddit AMA that they did in fact rush projects like Showdown Bandit. [Which they sold at full price]

He also says they can in fact say no or yes to designs involving their IP. Either Mike or Meatly had to say yes to this cover, according to his own damn words.

And do you really think this company in particular would care enough about its fanbase to not sell them garbage? They have done exactly that on several occasions. It's not like they care particularly about art either, considering their previous use of AI Art. There was no apology or even posts addressing it... Instead, they just rushed out an archives update to their game to get people to stop talking about it... Even forgetting an entire character in it. Again

This company is [or at least SHOULD BE] on thin ice when it comes to being suspected of misleading their fans or rushing out crappy products to them.

So with all that context in mind, I'm gonna talk about why this cover sucks ass.

The light sources are all over the place? Why does it look like someone put maces or knight armor on his shoulders but it's just flesh?? It looks both gross and weird [not in a good way either]

To explain more I'm going on a rant below but sadly this seems to have been confirmed to not just be a rough pass but the final cover and man... I am not excited about this graphic novel just at all. This felt like it really drained any possibility of it turning out good for me and I already had expectations low.

Okay first point, the light sources?? And there is no consistency here with the shadows or lighting, it looks like there's a hundred light sources all at once but none of them are even consistent!

the arrows here represent all the different light sources I can make out and yet the the shadow clearly implies there's only one. I understand wanting to use highlights to give the character a more clear shape but then just give him one or two lights behind him or in front of him? No matter how u follow the light sources, the highlights make no sense and the shadows make even less sense.

Why are the shoulders like that? Like on the legs it's a little understandable, at least those are clearly very heavily affected by perspective, for me I think they are so exaggerated it makes it look like one of the legs is either huge or one is small but that's maybe subjective.

However, the shoulders are unjustifiable, what happened there, what did they do??

I could pick on so much more honestly, how the color choices of piss yellow with no other colors being used, and the harsh pitch black being used for every part of his body is weird. How it looks straight out of Butch Hartman's recent crappy art. But to put bluntly bad start! Also what the HELL is going on with this background??

Seems once again the Bendy team is fine with sending out stuff thinking it's "Good Enough" for Bendy fans and honestly the people trying to tell me to "Be Grateful" for this are just proving that no matter how many times you betray your audience some of em will defend you!

Which is sad tbh. If anything we should be putting MORE pressure on the Bendy team to do better. Cause we deserve better than this, honestly we do. There are amazing artists in the bendy community who could do so much better for a cover. They've employed their fan artists before... Wouldn't it be great to do that for such a lore important book? The book that gives us the identity of one of the main characters in BATIM? The character you spend the entirety of Chapter 4 fighting to save? Not to mention will give several major characters their human designs?

But I guess this is... Good enough...

#ramblez #batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #sorry I've been on a positivity streak with bendy I know but I have to be honest and being honest I think this sucks lol #Im sure plenty of people Disagree and while I would argue this is more objective than subjective people will ignore me if they want to #maybe Im just a hater idk #but I do know one thing I sure do hate this and Im pretty sure Ill hate this novel and its designs #but maybe I wont ya never know #anyways if they do retcon batim ink demon I will make a post abt how much I dislike batdrs ink demon design #and why I think all the people saying its better than the og seriously arent understanding #what made batims ink demon good or character design in general tbh #to put bluntly just bc something is popular opinion DOES NOT make it right or a good idea design wise #not everyone is qualified to be a character designer and thats just good advice in general tbh #anyways yeah thats it sorry im being mean today </3 #I simply think corporations shouldnt be able to rush out crappy products to their fans and get paid for it but ig thats a hot take now #but esp with how bad that updated employee handbook was too and it still had stolen renders from fans in it... #yeah I dont think theyve learned a damn thing

[cornerful]

It's newsletter time babey!!

I've some catching up to do 🏃‍♂️

I basically ended up taking a complete hiatus from tumblr for several months when my migraines got real bad last year. And then things, as things do, kept on happening. Bastards.

I haven't looked much at the tag yet and I still have to catch up with the first five? Chapters and relearn the ropes so to speak, but hopefully I'll see some familiar faces around this year, and new ones 👀

Last time I couldn't get to the end but what I did get through was a lot of fun and the best part was what everyone else was saying and drawing and discussing! That's what I missed the most, was talking and joking with everyone. Lotr is probably my Favorite Story, and to have this in-time community readthrough is such a treasure. As usual, three cheers for @sindar-princeling for organizing. It's a hell of a feat 😁

I'm arriving uh...Precisely When I Mean To ;] but here's to a great year! 💚🍻

#lotr newsletter #i am tragically gifted with a life and brain that frequently fall apart i know everyone is incredibly jealous #fresh out of heartbreak and with some free time i think a full reread will be good. Autumn is here #perfect for beginnings bc there's already so many endings #i think i will still post a little about my catch-up if i have things i want to put on the blog #but itll be a lot less thorough so as not to muck up the tag? #elsewhise ill make a separate tag...hmm #i am curious as to what ppl said last year too so maybe I'll make a whole other blog for that idk #i was very invested in everyone's thoughts and i'm sad i missed out on so much #might do that #but for now ill get caught up! this thing moves fast when it wants to #i started the ian holm bbc drama today to hype myself up #😭 he's wonderful i keep wondering how that turn informed his take on bilbo #it's amazing how similar they are sometimes #not to be all I AM HERE but im excited ok thats all XD #you've no idea how devastated i was that i couldn't post about the songs from the musical at the right time 😩

[todayisafridaynight]

I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️ #@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ... #there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams// #recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 .... #and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)' #and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway. #tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀 #one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny. #and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#tis i! tragic daughter one of three! #motherless at age 26 #the last wake was today and this was more fun than the 1st. more casual. my moms childhood friends were there #ans it was fun to catch up with my uncle and his side of the family #i feel so weird tho. bc ppl r asking how we r and like genuinely i feel fine most of the time #like my sister is like: i sacrificed so much for my mom and i saw her downslide into death #and im like yea i fucked off to [redacted state] and showed uo after the horrible part was over #and bc im finally on medication i really feel better than i have possibly ever. so its just weird #weird to br at my mother's wake and think: god ive wasted so much fucking time being miserable. i dont want to do that anymore #and i feel like thats an option now. i mean ill always be frustrated by the same things. the difficulty reading and focusing #and the lack of social ease. but it feels like less of a big deal now #i say that now before im entrenched in school again. but idk. its just weird #but idk i love my mom but there was distance there and i have weird insect brain which i think makes it hurt less #i dunno. maybr ill feel it more later. when im on my own again #its just that i never reached out to her. i didnt realy on her and she didnt reach out to me so now things won't change much #i dunno. well see #unrelated

[iqmmir]

Hi im back . For some time

#.mimiming ❜ #um . hi im gonna slee soon but i missed you all so much #umm first of all im trying to ccut down in screentime because my therapist told me to #second. after two or three months of convincing myself that i literally do not care im only going to school for just a few more days (onl #y today and wednesday) i literally do not care #i almost keep crying . because well um #idk. i was originally planning on cutting off contact with everyone #because of stuff thats happened before #but my friends. my current friends dont just treat me as a therapist or something so #also one of my wives would probably hunt me down and kill me if i tried to cut off contact #but ill still miss this stupid class and this stupid school and all the stupid teachers and students #and the horrible tasting canteen food #and the playground ive played in eight times total despite being here for 12 years #idk man #also because of my periods my mood swings were so much worse #and i just ..idk i needed a break ig #anyways im back for sometime then ill start looking for a job #me friend said maybe we can do something together #idk #you can always send me asks and dms tho 👍👍 #im not really sure . like about anything right now #ill try to get the drawing requests done soon maybe #wild how time passes huh #god i need to stop acting like such a grownup im literally three years old

[bunnihearted]

🧸🧃⛈️

#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset #bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard #nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc #nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time #in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders.... #it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me #(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them) #the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply #also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T #i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!! #my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol #i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot #why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days #many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk #but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie #yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it #hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours #then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do

[girlmetalsonic]

something that makes me so ill is thinking abt the parallels between gemerl and neo metal sonic. both of them went against eggman in a way that still caused destruction, but then when gemerl is defeated, hes reprogrammed, he gets a family, and a home. when neo is defeated, sure, theyre taken by shadow and omega, but nothing really comes of that. at the end of the day they let them go back.

#me posts #sth #metal sonic #gemerl #this post is NOT dissing gemerl i LOVE gemerl and i love his story so much #just to say.. i want them to meet.. i know they have in the comics but #i want them to meet and i want the parallels to be addressed.. #idk if they would hate each other or if metal would just hate sonic more but still auuuuuugh #sonic the hedgehog #i know this totally isnt canon but i like to think maybe sonic didnt want to save them as much. that maybe seeing someone so similar to him #-do such terrible things is something he doesnt want to think abt. hence why he takes the whole thing so unseriously even when metal is- #-essentially spilling their guts abt how unsatisfied they are with life in general #idk.. these tags could be a post of their own or an addition to this even. mayb when i get my thoughts more in order ill add them #man today i was planning on posting my silly comic where i from real life talk to metal sonic on the phone but no you guys get- #-ramblings from the mentally unwell instead

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one? #the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

[your-subby-creature]

Yall ever cry (/pos) because of how much you care about the people you've met on kinky tumblr or is that just me?

#Creature rambles #creature is having big feelings #but like i have so much love in my heart for all yall #and im so grateful for all the people ive met and all the ppl i will meet #special shoutout to my phenomenal Dom who ill have been subbing for for 5 months on thr 27th #which is mindblowing to me and not something i thought id ever *ever* get to have #and to all my mutuals i love yall sososoSOso much #double shoutout to the person who made me fanart the other day i have literally no words to describe how flattered i am #love you and your art soSOsomuch #yeah i just...idk i used to describe myself by saying “i care about everything all the time” but in this case i care about everyONE always #ALSO PPL IN MY ASKBOX YOU ARE JOYS IN MY LIFE I WILL GET TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IM SO SORRY #BUT ITS 1AM HERE AND IVE ANSWERED SO MANY ASKS TODAY AND IM EEPY #BUT I LOVE YOU AND VALUE EVERY ASK AND WANT TO DO IT JUSTICE I PROMMY ILL GET TO THEM

[brainrotdotorg]

i finally got a money order for my new passport, scheduled my appointment for tomorrow, got my auto insurance printed, and set out vinegar and dish soap gnat traps to finally kill those thangs. literally so adultcore of me. everyone clap

#fr that i am glad i at least got out of the apartment ive been a real homebody for awhile #i ran into a guy from my old creative writing class with his girlfriend that i thought. wasnt real #but no she was really gorgeous and hes just some guy. kind of hilarious seeing couples like that #anyway also got drinks for my gay little minifridge #oh and finally got paid for a comm hooray!! #and i took out the trash #AND im getting some packages today #wow today is so eventful. so much going on #<- doesnt even mean that sarcastically this is way more than i do on an average day #these are all really little. stupid things. but my life used to be so stagnant #maybe it was because i was a child but. all of these things would have scared me to do on my own #if i keep talking im going to get sappy about how i thought i would never get here. like #never live past 18 and never do stuff like this just. normal stuff. #there was a point in my life where the thought of printing important documents made me physically ill #and running into people i know outside? HAH #no way to navigate those social interactions except stare at my feet #idk what changed. i guess i just grew #and im still growing. heart emoji #if i can do these things while im 20 imagine what i can do when im 30 and 40 and 50 etc etc #i can do things on my own. i dont have to grin and bear it. i can put out the gnat traps and kill the gnats #yanno. anyway!

[coldbam]

.

#like i’ll be honest i haven’t Wanted canon buddie for ages bc i didn’t think id like how it would go down #and i definitely would never want it now #what i do want is eddie getting his own storylines and his life not taking place all offscreen #and it’s my period talking probably but it’s becoming increasingly clear the show has no interest in him outside of buck #so im just gonna remove myself from this so i don’t keep getting miserable #this fandom has been a nightmare to be involved in ❤️ #buck girlies and buddie girlies who never cared about eddie just be thriving ❤️ #this is sooooo over dramatic but as stated above…. #i’m in my feelings today #anyways i haven’t decided what im gonna do with my fics yet idk if they’ll stay up forever #but for my own peace of mind i’m gonna bow out and probably won’t write any more idk man idk. like i doubt ill be watching much so idk

[be-good-to-bugs]

you would think considering how much it loves sleeping that my body would, yknow, sleep when i ask it to. or even just when it has barely slept in days and im trying so hard to sleep

#the bin #uugghhhh i woke up at 1pm today bc my stupid idiot body refused to go to sleep at a reasonable time even tho i was alreday so sleep #deprived. i have to work at 6:30 tomorrow morning :/ so i guess i wont be sleeping till then bc i still have to clean stuff and shower #maybe maybe maybe ill get a nap in but idk. bleh. i hope after i get home my stupid body will sleep. its gonna have to bc i work 7 hours the #next day so i cant do that too sleep deprived. i really really hope i dont have to :( hhhh #i wanted so bad to get high last night mosty bc my body has been refusing to sleep this past week but my sister n her boyfriend didnt come #over so i wasnt able to get more edibles :( or boxes for packing. hhh. i need to move so soon! i have no idea what day its even gonna be yet #i badeky have an idea of how much its gonna cost either. they finally gave me a gas cost estimate afeyr ive been asking for 3 weeks #hhh. well. whatever. i only have 4 more shifts. im kinda sad tbh. i really like working here. my coworkers are so nice #tomorrow is probs the last time ill ever see my fav coworker. shes so nice. shes so nice she used he/him for me and calls me orb #i just mentioned the name in passing once after i changed my pronouns on my nametag and she noticed and she remember! #and before she used it for me she stopped and asked if i was comfortable with it or if i wanted to keep it private. i have never EVER met #another cis person who would even think to ask that. most cis people dont understand why you would care. shes like. the nicest person ive #ever ever met. why did i have to find such a great place to work in minnesota? well. even if i am super tired tomorrow morning itll probably #be ok. butbi really would prefer not to be. #i dont know why i havent been able to sleep properly. bleh. i do liek what edibles do to me its a fun time but its kinda annoying that i #cant use them very casually for sleep or pain. they incapacitate me for 14 hours minimum. #well. at least no matter how stressed i am abt everything. i will definitely be elsewhere in 18 days max. should be less than that. #i will miss this job and these coworkers but i am relived that i wont have to go to work for awhile. esp with this tooth pain. #and im so excited to be able to draw again! im glad im moving a month before artfight bc itll give me time to get shit prepped #i wanted so bad to participate last year but i wasnt able to come evn close to finishing any attacks bc i was too tired from working

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes #and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on #ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done #and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well #im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them #and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right #its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried #i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway #im just. this is gonna b a difficult week #and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend #nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia? #how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru #but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep #ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway #and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week #sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems #but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed #unrelated

[caffeinatedopossum]

Remembering the best bittersweet times of my life with people who will probably never be in my life again. crying, screaming, clutching the bathroom sink until my knuckles turn white, etc

#it wasnt bittersweet because i miss it btw it was bittersweet because i was in a really bad situation and still #just as mentally ill as i am today 👍 i was on a trip to another state but i was still just a kid #and i remember the sinking in the pit of my stomach when i had to go back to that house with my mom that never felt like home #i missed the motel room we stayed in so much for months after that. i wished i couldve stayed there forever #i was so depressed and miserable but i was actually able to *do* things while i was there. for just a few day i was able to forget #i wish i could do that again #it brings back painful memories how one of the people on that trip really let me down. idk. pain and sorrow love and joy etc

[kxllerblond]

roomie let me borrow her old ipod with some rando podcasts so i dont go 100% insane but i have to work with the guy who heavily vocal stims for SIX HOURS instead of my normal two and i might die i think

#stimming great fantastic ill always support it #but when i tell you when you confine two ND people who clash like that in a little back room........................... #i have such bad noise sensitivity and he pops and clicks and whistles and it makes me #iDK man he overstims me so much i want to cry and thats just in the span of two hours #i am actually going to have a meltdown on top of every think today lmAO i #idk how im gonna do today i genuinely dont #cw negativity #see yall in 11 hours :)))))))))))