#but i needed to rant about them for a bit

[erodasfishtacos]

Boredom & Blind Dates [pt I]

summary: yn is a good friend, who's willing to go on a blind date so that her friend can try to pull the man of her dreams. the new bigshot doctor at the hospital she's works. the dinner isnt as charming as she hoped

word count: 5k

warnings: angst

author's note: hii! this was based off a request. the rest will be posted on patreon and there’s already another part up :)

You can subscribe for $3 USD a month here

+

Victoria was a friend that YN had made in college when they were both studying completely opposite majors but happened to be roomed in the same two-bed dorm.

They clicked instantly and just like their majors, they were also exact opposite in their personalities too but it somehow just meshed perfectly together.

Victoria was a social butterfly who did not have a fear of being the center of attention, going after whoever she wanted (and typically pulling them), and her confidence was impressive.

Despite how smart Victoria was, she had a tendency to come off a bit ditzy, and has been called an air-head more than twice in YN’s presence.

The boys in more prestigious majors like law and medicine usually didn’t find her carefree attitude as appealing.

While Tori snagged the frat boys, YN steered clear of them which worked because they had never once had a crush on the same man.

After graduation, it only made sense to move in together because Seattle was a ridiculously overpriced city but their job wages were competitive.

Victoria was a nurse, she worked on a surgery recovery wing, and complained about her job constantly because of the crabby patients and long hours.

YN worked behind a desk all day, very rarely having to interact with anyone but if she did - it was all virtual from home.

She was the head accountant for a social media marketing company which was a pretty high position for the few years of experience she had.

YN had always been serious, more mature for her age, and always excelled above everyone else in her grade.

It hadn’t been a surprise when she was valedictorian or made summa cum laude in her undergraduate and masters degree with ease.

YN didn’t party, didn’t love socializing out in clubs but would go when Victoria pressured her enough to do so, and it was fine.

YN had been so involved in establishing her career, creating a successful life, and making a name for herself that she didn’t have time for the things Victoria did.

Dating app hookups, one night stands from the bar, and casual flings that only lasted a few weeks was how Tori rolled.

Typically, at least once a month, she was bawling to YN about the latest dickhead who treated her like she was disposable but kept going for the same type.

YN had empathy to an extent, always uncorked the wine and half-listened to her rants about chivalry being dead while she was still thinking about an account she needed to work on because the deadline was coming up.

YN liked to think she lived vicariously through Victoria’s stories which worked for her because then she didn’t have to experience those things herself.

+

YN had been sitting on the couch, laptop balanced on the wide arm as she scrolled through work emails while catching up on her guilty pleasure reality show.

It was nearly ten at night but she was waiting for a reply from a customer with a time difference, work could sometimes be a whole day and night ordeal.

There was no question that YN was uptight, rarely - if ever relaxed, and did not have much time for anything other than what put a hefty sum in her bank account every two weeks.

Victoria tumbled through the front door in a way that is uniquely her - like a hurricane.

Her keys jingling, her water bottle bumping and sloshing water as she drops her purse on the floor unceremoniously with a chapstick rolling out.

She tosses all of her items in a messy pile on the ground with her bag, kicking off her tennis shoes, and nearly prances into the living room.

YN blinks over at her, the excitement of her arrival was a routine now, she no longer gets annoyed that her best friend makes an entrance like that each time.

“Babe, guess what,” Victoria squeals as she sits down right next to her on the couch, still in her magenta colored scrubs and her mascara smudged near her eyes.

“What?” YN replies as she mindlessly clicks refresh in her email, wishing for this message with the information she needs to appear.

“Our new Chief of Medicine started today! He was the head of neurology at another hospital. A literal brain surgeon which, of course I’ve met others but he’s like…the best of the best. They write news articles about him, his studies in medical journals, he’s a big deal,” Victoria is still excited as she nearly bounces in her spot, shaking YN’s laptop.

YN puts a hand up to make sure her computer doesn’t topple, still nonplussed as she looks at her friend, “What does this have to do with you? Is it just because he’s famous in the medical world?”

“No, he’s fucking gorgeous too. I didn’t think you were allowed to be as smart as he is while looking like he just walked off a runway during Paris Fashion Week,” Tori giggles as her cheeks go a bit pink, “He’s the hottest doctor I’ve ever seen.”

“Tori,” YN sighs, clicking her refresh again - nothing, “Again, what is this information leading to?”

“Well I bumped into him today, literally, in the hallway. We spoke briefly, he was polite but serious, and I felt like he was flirting with me. I feel like I have a chance with him,” Her roommate tells her, that same confidence present as ever that she can pull this big shot doctor.

“Good luck with that. I’m sure he’s married with kids,” YN replies somewhat dismissively, unamused that this is how her friend spends her time.

“Nope,” Tori quips back happily, “I googled him. He just made the New York Times list as one of the most eligible bachelors in medicine. Single as they come.”

“I thought you didn’t want to date someone who also worked in medicine,” YN reminds her, clicking refresh once again to no results.

“He’s the exception. If I could settle down with a fuckin neurosurgeon, chief medical officer like come on that would be my biggest achievement,” Victoria pulls out her cell phone, tapping across the screen.

And YN just…cannot relate.

YN only fell in love once.

Where she could fantasize about a life with that person, marriage, kids, a house but it was all fantasy as they were never official in that way.

It was crushed and YN made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t let herself dream like that again.

“Do you want to see a picture?” Victoria asks as she looks for an image to show.

As a stroke of luck, YN’s work phone starts buzzing, and it’s the client she was waiting for to email her, “I’m sure he’s as attractive as you say, Tor. I have to take this.”

Her friend mumbles something about her being in a relationship with work which is honestly not that far off at this point.

However, it gives her an excuse to lock herself in her office for a few hours to avoid the ideas of love, Victoria’s fantasy world, and think about nothing but numbers and percentages.

+

The next few weeks blend together for YN.

Every few days she actually catches up on her work.

Every few days Victoria recounts her very purposefully crafted run-ins with the chief medical officer to shoot her shot.

Victoria has always been forward, asking bluntly for what she wants but with such a seemingly intimidating man, she finally has met her match.

Her roommate deems the doctor as ‘playing hard to get’ but YN starts to wonder if she’s imagining the spark between them or if it’s truly there.

She talks about times where the doctor flat out ignores her in the hallway but brushes it off that he was extremely busy on a pressing issue.

But then there are times where he will pull her aside, gently by the wrist and ask her about how her day was going, and appear to be interested in her answers.

YN loved her friend but was wildly uninterested in these events, the only thing that kept her curiosity lingering was if she was actually going to snag the head of the biggest hospital in Seattle.

She doesn’t hear much for a week or two.

At least three months have passed since the doctor started.

And this finally appears to be a payoff when Victoria comes home with her usual hurricane routine of leaving a trail of her belongings as she comes through the front door.

“Oh my god, oh my god. Close your laptop and look at me!” Victoria announces dramatically as she rushes over to the couch, taking it upon herself to close the lid of YN’s work computer.

“Tori,” YN scolds with a grumble, she really didn’t appreciate it when her friend interrupted her work flow in the middle of her meticulously constructing a report.

“Hush,” She replies, brushing off her concerns, and patting YN’s thighs, “I need the absolute biggest, most massive favor from you ever. And I really need you to agree, I’ll owe you for eternity.”

This didn’t sound good.

YN blinks at her, expression still unamused as ever.

“Okay. I am going on a date with the chief,” Victoria squeals, high-pitched and loud, “But it’s a double-date, he was telling me he’s looking for a date for his friend. I offered you and he invited us all to dinner at The National.”

Fancy.

And YN tries to settle the itching annoyance at her friend offering her up without her approval but unfortunately it was a very Victoria-like thing to do.

Despite how uptight YN could be, she had a soft spot for her friend and would do anything within her to make her happy so instead of lecturing her about setting her up, YN agrees.

YN thinks about it as the days pass until the date, what’s stopping her from actually giving this a try?

The only information she received about her blind date was that he was also a doctor, orthopedics, and his name was Mitch.

YN dresses nicer than she had originally planned, in a form fitting black dress that shaped her chest phenomenally, making her smaller tits look full and lifted.

It also defined her backside well too, making it rounded and voluminous in a way that it normally didn’t look in her regular outfits.

YN hadn’t been with anyone in over a year, not even a casual hookup because she didn’t do those - she did commitment.

Maybe Mitch would be the one.

YN wasn’t one for magical thinking like her best friend but maybe this is what optimism was supposed to be like as opposed to her normal pessimist outlook.

Victoria dressed stunning as well, albeit a bit more revealing which was her go to, cut-outs along her ribs and the hem was nearly to her bum cheeks so she couldn’t bend over without revealing all of her bits and pieces.

YN was sure that the doctor she was pining after would take her home with her that night but she also knows Victoria is possibly looking at this to become serious.

It was all up in the air.

The National was a quiet restaurant, where business meetings were held and deals were made.

Everyone dressed in expensive outfits that made YN and Victoria’s seem a bit out of place but they blended in well enough.

Neither have been to the location before because it was reservation-only and you had to have enough of a name in Seattle to bother calling.

The fact that the chief was able to get them a table, at relatively short notice was flex in itself, showing off what clout he held in the community.

YN wasn’t impressed, per se, felt like it was a bit-show off but nevertheless it was a nice experience that she’d never likely have again after this night.

Victoria gives the hostess their name before they’re being guided towards the back of the restaurant, it lit dimly enough that it would be hard to see the menu.

As they arrive at the table, there’s two meticulous dressed men sit across from one another, both handsome in different ways.

However, one has a big smile and stands up whilst the other stays seated with a scowl that seems permanently etched on his face - light wrinkles to show for it.

The man who stands up reaches for YN’s hand, kissing the back of it, and introducing himself, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’ve been looking forward to it all week, darling. I’m Mitch.”

“YN,” She replies even though he already knows, allowing the kiss and giving him a polite smile back as he pulls out her chair for her.

Victoria walks around the table, somewhat awkward as her date doesn’t get up or offer to move her chair out, only a curt, “Hello, Victoria. You look nice.”

“Thanks,” Tori blushes easily, YN has to refrain from rolling her eyes at the interaction, she always fell for the rudest, douchey men on Earth.

This doctor was no different as he says back in his chair, shoulders broad, and back straight, head held high as he watches Mitch help YN in her seat.

“Thank you,” YN brushes her fingers against Mitch’s shoulder as he sits down, making eye contact with her date once again.

He had these sincere brown eyes, a shy smile, and his long hair was pulled back into a ponytail as he nods at her.

Mitch wasn’t her type, though she wasn’t picky, and was willing to give anyone a chance - he just wouldn’t be someone she would pick herself.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

“What’s good here?” YN asks Mitch as she opens her menu, it was a small list of entrees, most that YN had only seen on cooking shows or never even heard of.

“I haven’t been here. Styles here is a regular but that’s because he’s the big name ‘round here, well according to London Times - everywhere,” Mitch teases as he glances up at his friend.

Styles doesn’t even lift his lip in a half-smile, his eyes dart to YN before his friend, “The Steelhead Trout is good as is the Filet Migon.”

YN’s eyes trace back over the menu, heart seizing a bit as the numbers next to the entree - realizing that was the price was a bit of shell shock.

She knew that Mitch would pay for her but she felt guilty about ordering something that was well over a hundred and fifty dollars when she would never pay that for dinner herself.

“I think I’ll just get the thai salmon,” YN replies as she glances over, it was the cheapest option, not by much but still.

“There’s peanuts in the sauce,” The doctor tells her as he glances up from his own menu to look at YN.

YN brow furrows at him, lips turning down, and about to say something when he adds, “Victoria informed me that you have a severe peanut allergy and to choose a restaurant that could prepare your food properly.”

YN blinks to process before looking over to Victoria, “Thanks, Tor.”

“I’d rather not see freshman year thanksgiving happen again,” Victoria jokes but there is some real concern there from such a traumatic incident.

YN had accidentally come into contact with some type of nut that sent her into an anaphylactic shock.

They couldn’t find her epipen for a good two minutes until they did and were able to administer her medication until she could make it to the hospital.

Victoria had anxiety about food in their house for ages, paranoid about her own contact with the allergen, and always made sure everyone was aware of YN’s condition.

“I’ll get the filet then,” YN sighs, giving up on picking a cheap option as she closes her menu, and the waiter pours a red wine into her glass.

YN was not in the mood to drink, preferring to sip on her water instead as Victoria and Mitch emptied their first glass quickly.

Victoria’s date sipped more sophisticatedly on his, swirling it like a proper snob before taking a minuscule sip as if he was savoring it.

Mitch seemed very interested in YN, asking multiple questions about her work and personal life, he put an arm around the back of her chair which YN didn’t necessarily mind as they spoke.

From what YN could see, Victoria was not having as much luck with her date as their conversation appeared strained, her friend was doing ninety percent of the talking, and Harry was nodding with an expression of boredom.

After the soup and salads arrive, Mitch and Harry start to chat about something going on with the hospital protocols.

Victoria tries to add in, he doesn’t acknowledge her but Mitch does instead after an uncomfortable pause of silence between them.

YN stays quiet, unable to add anything, and after a moment, Mitch huffs out a laugh, “Enough work talk, we’re excluding YN.”

Harry raises his eyebrow at her, “Need to be the center of attention?”

“Hey,” Mitch frowns, rubbing at YN’s shoulder, “I didn’t mean for it to sound like that. I’m sorry if I just-“

“You’re fine,” YN waves her hand dismissively, giving her friend’s date a displeased glance that Harry returns the scowl just like he’d been doing all night.

Victoria is oblivious, as she tends to be, and is much too focused on keeping her date’s attention to worry about anything else.

“What do you do for work?” Harry asks her, randomly cutting off a story that Victoria was telling about a patient that eloped recently.

“I’m a head accountant for a social media marketing company. What about you?” YN returns the question with sickeningly sweet politeness.

She felt like Harry was a pompous prick, taking pride in his rankings, education, and had a better than attitude that YN really felt was unappealing.

To act like she didn’t know shit about him was the perfect way to irritate him apparently.

It works.

The way his teeth clench together as the wrinkle between his brow deepens further, he straightens his suit jacket before leaning forward to appear casual.

“I’m the Chief Medical Officer of The Hospital of Seattle, a neurosurgeon specializing in spinal cord injury as well as stroke and trauma, I own three outpatient medical practices, as well as instruct other neurosurgeons on new techniques and equipment,” Harry boasts, to be fair, it was extremely impressive.

There was no doubt that the man sitting across from her was extremely intelligent, she’s probably never been around anyone as smart as him but it didn’t excuse his attitude.

You can be intelligent and humble at the same time.

Apparently Doctor Styles did not get the memo.

“That’s nice,” YN replies as she takes a very small sip of wine, even though she was impressed, it didn’t reflect in her bored tone.

Harry scoffs, sitting back, and licking the front of his teeth.

His eyebrow was raised as he repeated in disbelief, “That’s nice? Nothing else, huh?”

Victoria’s eyes dart nervously between the two, she grips Harry’s bicep, “I think it’s the most impressive thing I’ve heard. Not to mention the medical journals you wrote for or the volunteer work.”

YN tucks her bottom lip between her teeth, tampering down a smile at getting a reaction out of her friend’s date, just as she had hoped.

“S’really not as impressive when the person needs to flaunt their accomplishments so extravagantly,” YN shrugs as she puts down her wine glass, nonchalant as ever, and acting as if she was being casual.

Tori delivers a kick to her shin underneath the table, along with a scolding look for her to drop the attitude with Harry because it was ruining their date.

YN pulls back because she did feel guilty at getting into it with this doctor who Tori was trying to pull and she wasn’t increasing the chances with the snide comments.

Harry is about to respond, his ringed fingers clenched on the table, and there were tattoos peeking out from the cuffs of his suit that were very undoctorlike, “You know what I think-?”

“Uhm,” Mitch coughs awkwardly to break up the tension that was getting thick and cloying between everyone at the table, “Victoria, where did you get your nursing degree from?”

The conversation breaks off, Victoria and Mitch start chatting as YN and Harry remain pretty much silent throughout the appetizers.

Victoria is forward, trying to touch her date when possible.

A brush of his hand here, a squeeze of his bulky bicep there.

Though Harry doesn’t shrug her off, he also doesn’t return the favor at all.

He is nearly statuesque, unmoving, and able to sit very still for long amounts of time.

Of course, maybe that is overly obvious because of how all over the place her friend was at all times, unable to sit still for more than a few minutes without needing to adjust the way she’s sitting or fiddle with something on the table.

YN wonders if this whole thing was set up for Mitch and Harry just settled for being on a date with Victoria to help his friend out.

The thought hurt her to think about because she wanted better for her friend.

YN enjoyed having a job that paid her well, more than most people her age were making but it didn’t define who she was.

Doctor Styles seemed to be his entire job as his personality.

How boring.

When Harry manages to get the topic back onto a work issue, YN cannot help but let out a yawn that she very half-heartedly tries to cover with her hand because she could only hear so much about a spinal surgery before she’s zoning out.

Victoria is hanging onto his every word, asking questions, and being overly interested in a lackluster story in his monotone, deep voice that could honestly lull her to sleep because of how bleak and morbid he sounded.

However, when she yawns, no one at the table notices but Harry.

His eyes have darted over to her a few times while he’s been talking, almost to gauge her level of interest, and when she yawns, he visibly huffs before continuing - his words a bit more harsh and a flutter of annoyance twisting into his cadence.

YN had neglected her date during this whole time, in full honesty.

Victoria and Mitch seemed to have a great conversation.

When YN talked to Mitch, he was nice enough and easy to have a conversation with but his boss across the table was distracting and apparently felt the need to constantly be the center of attention even though that’s what he called YN out for. 

It’s rude, YN knows it is when she excuses herself to the bathroom mid-story, placing her napkin on the table before swinging her purse over her shoulder, and navigating into the dimly-lit restaurant towards the back.

YN goes into one of the many stalls, a larger bathroom, and sits down.

She didn’t have to go to the bathroom but she had just needed a break because…

What the fuck.

What the actual fuck?

YN would be crawling out the bathroom window if Victoria wasn’t with her.

YN hears the door open and she just knows it’s Victoria.

She is definitely going to give YN a piece of her mind for her attitude at the table and she really can’t blame her because she was not being on her best behavior admittedly.

When YN pushes open the stall, already starting her speech, “Tor, I know you’re probably pissed but -”

However, YN stops mid-setence when she sees that it was not Victoria standing across from her.

No, instead it was Harry, leaning back against the sinks with his arms crossed and a scowl worse than anything that he had displayed at the table across his face.

“Already dating again?” He asks unhappily, the slight crack of his deep drawl gives away the jealously laying behind those words, “That’s pretty fuckin’ rich, innit?”

“Don’t you dare,” YN hisses back, defensive and straightening up, “You don’t have any room to talk.”

“I have plenty,” Harry grits out, his gaze unwavering, his hand twitching like he wants to reach out, “You fucked everything up, not me.”

The awful thing is that YN wants him too.

“That’s not true,” YN murmurs softer, trying to keep the feisty edge in her voice but struggling.

The emotions that she was attempting to hold in at the table were much harder to bottle up when they were standing face-to-face like this.

“You like Mitch?” Harry ignores her rebuttal, his knuckles were white where they were gripping the kitchen sink, “Think he’s nice? Boyfriend material?”

“It’s none of your fucking business,” YN snaps back, finding her bravado a bit more.

“Come here,” Harry orders, voice quiet but sharp, demanding, and it sends a chill down her spine.

“Harry-” YN begins to argue but finds herself walking forward, her heart pounding hard enough that it hurts and her hands were shaking as she clung the strap of her purse as a lifeline as her heels clicked against the tile.

“C’mon, dove,” His voice is sweeter, more goading until she’s close enough to touch.

Her lips parted in nerves, excitement, dread.

His hand reaches out to curl around the nape of her neck, fingers lightly pressing into the sides of her throat and though it was gentle, it was possessive - rooted in the jealousy of what was going on tonight with their dates.

Harry brings her towards him by the hold he has on her, until her hands are laid on his chest, and he’s leaning down as he tilts her head up.

He brushes their lips together, once, twice, and on the third time, YN pulls back and takes a few steps away from him.

“You can’t just do that,” YN huffs, grabbing a tissue from the counter and dabbing at the corners of her eyes to prevent the tears from falling and ruining her makeup, “I’m on a date. You’re on a date. It isn’t fair to either of them.”

Harry laughs unhappily, shaking his head as pushes away from the sink, heading towards the door but before he leaves, he bites back, “I don’t think you have room to be talking about fair. You obviously don’t fuckin’ understand the concept of it. Pull yourself together before you come back out.”

YN knows it immature, proves his point but gives him the middle finger before going back to dabbing at her eyes - fuck, she wishes she didn’t cry around him.

She wondered if it was worth sneaking out the window and facing the wrath of her friend later.

+

ahhhhhhh.

let me know your thoughts. this was difficult to write but im glad it turned out how i wanted it too! what do you predict?

😙😙😙

#harry styles writing #harry styles #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #harry styles fanfic

[viperwhispered]

I don't know about you, but I find shared baths deeply intimate. Mostly cause first you have to be very comfortable with the person you're bathing with and there's an intense feeling of safety that you boundaries will be respected.

Apply this to Jamil who is arguably the most paranoid man in all of TWST. Imagine he and his s/o are getting serious and Jamil is finally starting to really open up. It's also the stage where things are getting steamier, so to speak.

As both a sign of trust and a way to get used to each others naked bodies, the couple starts bathing together. The physical vulnerability of it since their both nude is further amplified since they have to wash/touch each other. That in itself requires a lot of trust.

Just imagine this: gently applying shampoo into Jamil's silky hair while he rants about his day, slowly revealing more about his past and insecurities. Then they switch and now the reader is the one opening up about their struggles while Jamil massages the soap onto their back. Kissing any scars they might have, talking about the most random things, playing with the water, and just enjoying this moment between Jamil and his beloved. Jamil is just so busy that he relishes being able to just enjoy their presence close to him.

There's also a strong desexualizing element. Jamil and the reader likely grew up with a notion that nudity is embarrassing and should only happen with a sexual partner. While this statement is technically true, they aren't in a sexual situation. They're trusting each other to respect their boundaries in such a way that the way they view each other goes from "potential sex object" to "a body that so happens to belong to my dearest".

Which further adds to my hot take of the "If evil why hot" route with OB!Jamil being pre-relationship.

Also, fun concept: washing away blot.

Imagine they're at the very end of the overblot Jamil boss fight. The phantom is defeated but there's still some blot left. So the reader pushes him into the river created by Kalim and holds him there as the water washes away the blot. When he starts calming down, they gently start rubing the blot off. Slowly trekking their fingers through his hair as the snakes dissappear. By the end they're left with an exhausted sulky wet Jamil. The reader then kisses his forehead as they wrap a towel around him.

Aww there definitely is a lot of potential for sweetness with stuff like this. I mean, having someone wash your hair, cleaning up together… It really can feel so intimate and vulnerable.

Now, I feel like I should add the caveat that I'm Finnish, so I'm fairly used to seeing other people's bodies in the sauna, for example, and the whole concept of nudity = sex is not quite so strong for me, personally. (Though personally I'm not likely to go to a mixed sauna, especially with strangers, but still.) So my perspective for the nudity aspect may be a little bit different, though I do definitely agree with these scenarios being intimate and potentially vulnerable. Like, you really do need to let your guard down to let someone see you bared like that, no hiding behind your clothes (or status) or anything else. Just, people, together.

Which definitely ties into that whole opening up for each other. We always tend to say that people are equal in the sauna, and it (perhaps surprisingly) is a good place for those deep, intimate conversations. So I can definitely see that same vibe for this bathing together, too.

Also just, the thought of squeezing into the tub together, trying to figure out how to adjust everyone's limbs and bodies so that you're both comfortable in there (and covered by water enough to actually get to enjoy it). One of you wrapping your arms around the other, holding them close, it's just… So sweet, and intimate, and also you kind of have to be “normal” about it to make it work (I don't really have the words for these vibes, just, yes it's intimate and vulnerable but at the same time you kinda just have to treat it as a normal thing if it's gonna work).

Just eugh I love this concept so much.

(Also now I'm definitely wondering how the twst guys would feel about sauna, perhaps even with the whole “run off naked to the lake to cool off a bit and then go enjoy some more heat” extra shebang.)

Oof that washing off blot, though… Oh it's going straight for my heart 😭 Just the whole I'm still here for you, I'm here taking care of you, let's wash away what happened (both literally and figuratively). Oh boy what a concept ripe for being picked apart.

(Also for some reason it's making me think of like washing off bodies for funerals, but in this particular case more in the sense of washing off the old self / what happened, something to allow rebirth or something. Or like, this could've destroyed him, but didn't. Idk, there's just so much one could do with this. Maybe it's just the talk of being washed in a river specifically that's making me think of like Lemminkäinen’s mother and all sorts of stuff.)

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner talks #chatting with folks #lex752 #I hope I'm making sense my thoughts are kinda all over the place right now #these are such delicious thoughts to chew over tho #(also yes that squeezing into a bath together musing is definitely from experience) #funnily enough I'm so used to having a sauna (and just a shower) that baths always seem like the exotic option #(I mean I also fall asleep in a bath in about 3 seconds so it's not exactly something that'd work for me anyway) #(at least if I'm alone I'd be too concerned of just falling asleep and sinking under the surface)

[smartycvnt]

Title: Talk It Out

Pairing: Rhea Ripley x Reader

Word Count: 984

You felt like everything was a bit too much. You had been fed loss after loss on the biggest stages offered. Tonight, however, it felt a little more personal. You hadn't been up for a championship, but it was your first time wrestling in your hometown in nearly five years. You had hoped for a win, to be hailed as a winner in your homecoming match, but instead, you had been humiliated.

You didn't know where you were going as you stormed off backstage. Everybody avoided you like the plague. Anger and discontent radiated off of you in waves. The looks of pity only made it all worse, so you went to the one place where nobody else would know to go.

The years spent working at this venue as a teenager had paid off well. All of the old secrets you had discovered were left how you remembered them. The stairwell leading up to the roof was still well hidden behind a janitor's closet door. You made your way up there, not expecting to be followed. It was supposed to be your chance to truly be alone for a few moments.

"Ash," Rhea called out softly. You didn't turn to look back at her. Still, she approached and sat down next to you. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a fucking loser. He told me things would be different, and the first major live event we have here, I get fucking squashed," you ranted. Rhea placed her hand on the small of your back. Usually, you would have leaned into the touch, but you couldn't handle any more humiliation. "Rhea, don't."

"What?" Rhea didn't bother hiding her surprise. You always leaned into her embraces and touches. It was a simple pleasure that Rhea could always count on. Her feelings for you had always kept her up at night. There was always a little voice in her head shouting at her to say or do something, but Rhea never did.

"I can't handle any more humiliation, so please just don't. Go downstairs and forget that I even came up here," you told her. Rhea's brows knit together in confusion. You sounded desperate and conflicted.

"What's humiliating about being comforted?" You had always been one to champion getting help when you needed it. Rhea knew that she'd be so much worse off mentally if it wasn't for you. You preached self love and care like nobody else, so Rhea really didn't understand why you were pushing her away when it was obvious that you needed someone.

"What happened to being kind to yourself? What happened to accepting love and comfort when you can't give it to yourself?" Rhea asked. She didn't mean to sound so angry with you, but she couldn't help the raising of her voice. You flinched away a little, just as much as you could without moving out of her arms.

"Rhea, please," you pleaded.

"Talk to me. Tell me what's going on," Rhea said. You dropped your head against her shoulder and turned to try and hide your tears. Rhea could feel them soaking through the fabric of her shirt. In that moment, everything around you was Rhea. You relished in the momentary comfort that her presence granted you before it was ripped away. You hated that you got so in your head about Rhea. The two of you had been friends for years, and your feelings had never gotten in the way before.

"I love you," you mumbled against Rhea's skin.

"I love you too, Ash." The way that Rhea said it broke your heart. You had heard it a million times before, and it didn't sound any different. She had obviously heard you, but Rhea didn't understand. Once again, she felt your hot tears begin to soak into the collar of her shirt. "What's wrong? I hate seeing you like this. Tell me what I can do to help."

"You can't do anything. You've got Dom, and I'm stuck here by myself. There will always be a long line of people who come before me, and I thought that I was okay with it, but I'm not. I love you, and I want so much more than what we've got." You were practically sobbing into her at this point. Rhea gently cupped your cheeks as she pulled your face out from the crook of her neck.

"I need you to look at me. I need you to listen to me, not just hear me, but listen, okay?" Rhea gave you a moment to compose yourself before she spoke again, "I love you too. I feel the same way about you, okay?"

"Y-you do?" You couldn't believe it. You needed to hear Rhea tell you again. It would have been your luck for her to not mean it and start laughing in your face. However, that never came. Instead, you felt the gentle press of her lips against yours. You kissed her back, just as gently as she kissed you.

"I love you. I'll say it a million more times if I have to, but there are better ways for me to show you," Rhea laughed nervously. Your eyes lit up as her words registered in your brain. "Let's get back down there. A lot of people are worried about you, and if I kiss you again, I'm not sure that I'd be able to stop myself from doing more. I've wanted this for a long time."

"Me too." You smiled at Rhea as the two of you stood up and made your way back down to everybody else. Rhea had you tucked under her good arm as she walked you to the locker room so that you could get out of your gear and into your regular clothes. A few people came up to check on you, but they kept a decent distance because of Rhea's proximity to you.

#wwe x reader #wwe #my writing #rhea ripley x reader #rhea ripley #one shot

[sleepanonymous]

Okay so. I have so many people to respond to and I promise I will, just not tonight. I wanted to give a quick update about the ritual below the cut (because I know some people like going in not knowing the setlist.) Again, typing this all on my phone so my apologies for heavy typos and any incoherence.

As a preface I just got back to my hotel, showered quickly, absolutely fucking sobbed in the shower for like two minutes, and I’m now eating uncle ben’s ready rice straight out of the bag because I don't have a fork or spoon. If that doesn’t scream hot mess idk what would.

First things first: the security/staff at Arizona Financial Theatre are all amazing. Literal fucking angels. Two of them hung out with us in line all day, letting us go inside to use the bathroom and refill water bottles and the guys at the barricade were so friendly and chatty and also handed out water. Literally everyone was so helpful and friendly and nice and they deserve all the good things in life.

Second: Empire State Bastard really wasn’t clicking with me until I saw them live. They’re an absolute vibe live plus the drummer and bassist are both babes. The band were constantly thanking us for showing up early and listening to them (tbh the venue was only half full until about 10 minutes before Sleep Token went on). Literally seemed like such humble and chill dudes.

Third!!! I almost don’t even know what to say about Sleep Token. There’s sooo much I could literally rant for hours but I also need to sleep so I can drive to Albuquerque in the morning. I recorded 5ish songs I think? Mostly the TPWBYT songs but I did get the summoning too. No idea if the footage is any good but we’ll see tomorrow. I made it a point not to have my phone out after finding out the setlist because there was no way in hell I was missing TNDNBTG live while on barricade. Maybe I should preface this next bit with I one hundred thousand present realize this sounds delusional of me, but everyone on the barricade had their phones out and Vessel fucking focused on me because of it. He was singing one of my favorite sleep token songs directly to me! There’s literally nowhere else he could have been looking! he was on the edge of the stage looking straight down at me and we were pointing at each other and I’m fucking dying reliving it because I was singing so horribly and cringy back at him. Like I’m so sorry vessel but my life was changing in that moment. I became a new woman the second you pointed at me.

I kept my phone away for the first several songs tbh and he kept coming back to stand in front of me but never made such heavy eye/mask contact (until Euclid). I actually almost feel like I disappointed him when I did pull my phone out to start recording because he practically avoided me after that. its actually why I decided not to record Euclid, though I knew it was coming and it was the song’s debut. AND IT FUCKING WORKED!! He came back around and was singing to me again, same stance, same obvious eye contact except this time I was literally Ugly Crying™️ at him. Tears were streaming, I had one hand holding onto the barricade for dear life, and the other clamped tightly around my mouth ugly crying. Even my buddies and the security were concerned that’s how bad it was.

In all honesty I can’t pretend that it wasn’t “scripted” like the band hadn’t planned every move on stage beforehand. They first and foremost are performers and Vessel literally sings to every girl on the barricade right in front of him. But it also felt so special and I feel so bad for breaking down like I did 😅🤣😭😫🫠

Okay I need to stop ranting, I’ve been up for 20 hours and this is most likely incoherent anyway. I love all of you and I hope everyone who’s able to get barricade this tour gets to experience the same thing I did🖤🖤🖤

#sleep token #teeth of god tour #sleepanon rant #<- fully delusional version

[peachhcs]

so high school au ★ “you know how to ball i know aristotle”

→ emma grace x gabe perreault

or hockey player meets top of her class (inspired by taylor swift's song so high school)

→ moodboard + au masterlist

★ ☆ au background + timeline ★ ☆

gabe meets emma first semester of freshman year at boston college

he's taking a french class for fun even though he's fluent in french

him and emma end up next to one another for the class

at first, emma's not so sure about gabe since he acts kind of dumb in the class so the professor doesn't know he's fluent

that annoys her because she thinks it's stupid when people play dumb even though they're super smart

his athletic persona also throws her off a bit and she thinks he doesn't ever care at all because he's just forced to be in his classes to be able to play

they start talking after the first week of classes when gabe's actively doing another class's work

emma actively laughs out loud when she sees him trying to do economics

"something funny?"

she shakes her head and thus starts their mini whispering argument about economics

eventually that leads to gabe asking for her number to get help later on since emma claims she's so good at econ

after a few tutoring sessions emma realizes she might've been wrong about gabe all along

the two become close fairly quickly and he convinces her to come to one of his games that weekend

she starts learning a lot about hockey from gabe whenever he'd start rambling on about it during their tutoring sessions

finally after a month of tutoring gabe decides to ask her out on a date once the boys convince him she'd say yes

she agrees!

they go out to a fancy dinner where they're both pretty nervous it goes super well & gabe kisses her before dropping her off at her dorm

they start dating a week after!

→ emma grace:

emma grace cooper

she's a twin! her brother, tyler, also goes to bc and he swims

her and her brother are super close and always have been hence why they went to the same college together

her birthday is june 15th, 2005!

she's the top of her class & is always at the library trying to get her work done

4.0 slay

she's also fairly fluent in french so her and gabe enjoy talking back and forth in french around his friends so they don't know what they're taking about

enjoys swimming like her brother and sometimes does laps with him during free swim on the weekends

doesn't know a lot about hockey, but she enjoys learning more from gabe

starts falling in love with going to the games and starts showing up early to be at the front of the glass to see everything better

always has her nose in a book & rants to gabe about what happens in each of them

gabe quite literally towers over her since she isn't that tall, but she likes that he's taller than her

wears a lot of neutral/cool tone colors

a bit of an extroverted introvert so once you get to know her she becomes super talkative and can never shut up

talks gabe's ear off a lot when they're hanging out

makes gabe go to the library with her a lot and half the time he isn't even studying and just staring at her instead of

enjoys calling gabe dorky in an endearing way and he secretly loves it

→ gabe perreault:

younger brother to jacob, jeremy, and liliane perreault

he's fairly close with all of his siblings

mostly goes to lili when he needs relationship advice since he knows his brothers would just chirp at him

birthday is may 7th, 2005!

he's been playing hockey since he could walk since his dad is a famous professional ice hockey player & all of his siblings are hockey players as well

he's now a forward at boston college and was drafted 23rd overall by the new york rangers

he's best friends with his roommate, will smith

he's instantly attracted to emma when he first meets her and they sit together in class

he's actually super smart and only acts dumb sometimes because somehow he's got in his brain that athletes can't be smart at the same time

emma definitely changes that perspective for him

was super super nervous when he first asked her out

he's more of an introvert so him and emma balance well because they can both agree staying in is better than going out

loves listening to emma ramble on about what book she's currently reading and even starts reading them too!

when she goes to his game for the first time he almost combusts when he sees her in the sweatshirt he lent her for it

emma most definitely tries to give his style more variety so it isn't just sweats and sweatshirts all the time

the guys start chirping at him a lot when they find out he likes emma

can get a little possessive and jealous sometimes what emma says goes "walk him like a dog"

his siblings love her when they first meet emma

he enjoys calling emma "pretty girl" or "emmers" or "em"

→ quick author's note:

hii!! a little break in the 700 celly requests to introduce my newest au i've been saying for months i'd do!! i absolutely adore gabe and this au idea was actually sent in by anon in my inbox, so whoever you are thank you so much for the idea i love it!! i can't wait to develop their story more, so please send some requests in for emma and gabe too!!

#gabe perreault #emma grace x gabe perreault #so high school au #gabe perreault imagine #gabe perreault x oc #boston college #boston college hockey #bc eagles #ice hockey #new york rangers #bc hockey #hockey girlfriend #bc girls #boston college eagles #bostoon college imagine

[lvrflwrz]

The Outsiders dating hcs

Johnny Cade

• he’s actually so obsessed with you

• yall could be dating for years and he’ll always have a crush on you

• he’s so shy around you like you are that mans idol

• ur his everything, he would sell all his organs for you to he happy

• absolute sucker for cuddles

• please kiss him he deserves it

• IMAGINE THE LIPSTICK TREND WITH HIM $:$4$(! BABYBOY COVERED IN LIPSTICK MARKS AFTER U KISS HIM

• doesn’t get jealous but insecure

• wishes he could buy you more stuff and thinks him not being able to gift you things and take you on dates makes him a horrible bf:(

• asks dally for relationship advice and immediately regrets it

Ponyboy Curtis

• writes love letters and poems for you

• he’ll leave them in random places without telling you, leaving you to find them later on

• LOVEEEESSS holding ur hand in public

• he reads to you when you have trouble sleeping

• gets both jealous and insecure

• yall never have serious fights just pointless bickering over dumb things like the color of something

• He fell in love with you when he heard you analyzing the plot of the movie that you two had just watched

• speaking of movies, he will go on rants to you explaining movies and the characters

• If he can’t sleep due to his nightmares he goes to your house

• he pushes you to do better in school and helps you with work and vise versa when needed

• sodapop constantly teases him about you and his whole face turns red

• when he was sick he was constantly talking about you, you never told him this though to save him from the embarrassment

Dallas Winston

• this boy has BADDDDD jealousy issues like you belong to him

• hes so toxic guys

• oh but you KNOWW hes a softie when you get him alone

• pda constantly because everyone needs to know your his

• he loves when you lay on his chest, it makes him feel complete

• would probably kill a soc if they said something about you

• and don’t get me started on someone catcalling you

• since you guys started dating he actually tries to stay out of trouble

• isn’t the best at understanding your emotions but will still listen to try his best to comfort you

• you walk this man like a DOG, he only listens to you

• did i mention hes a red flag

Two-Bit Matthews

• oh my god he never stops making dirty jokes

• WILL make u watch mickey mouse with him

• he teases you so much, he thinks the way your face gets red when your embarrassed is so cute

• the gang stopped getting drunk with him because all he talks about is you when hes drunk

• hugs from behind !!!!

• idk why but i feel like he loves to kiss you on the cheek

• he actually doesn’t shut up about you

• he shows off his switchblade to you to try and impress you

• darry makes you guys watch ponyboy together and ponyboy HATES IT.

• He loves makeout sessions

• in the car???? absolutely (u can interrupt that how you want)

• pleaseeeeeeeee run your fingers through his hair

Sodapop Curtis

• you always stop at the dx as an excuse to see him

• is love language is making you chocolate cakes LOL

• vents to you about pony and darry’s fights that he gets dragged into

• he’s too hot to be jealous to insecure , he knows he has nothing to worry about

• is sooooo sweet, like he babies you so much

• calls you petnames more than your actual name

• since he usually doesn’t have money to gift you things he goes out and picks his own flowers and makes a bouquet for you

• cuddlesssssss

• he runs his fingers through your hair

• IDK WHY BUT I FEEL LIKE HE WOULD DOODLE ON YOU WITH A PEN WHEN HES BORED

i hope yall enjoy this cause idk how i feel abt it but here u go!!!!

#the outsiders #s.e. hinton #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #dallas winston #two bit mathews #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders fanfiction

[robynator]

obsessed with how daud canonically chooses to forgive billie when she gives him the choice between killing her and showing her mercy after she betrays him

obsessed with how just a few months later, daud does the same, placing his life in the hands of a man whose life he completely ruined, asking to be spared and, against all odds, walking away from that encounter alive

obsessed with the alternatives you're given to those options as well

how, if you choose to kill billie in low chaos she helps you guide the blade. how she looks up at you and smiles as you stab her. how you hold her hand as she dies and don't let go even after she's gone

how, in high chaos, you just don't get that choice. her death is brutal, just like all the other deaths at your hand. like she said, what's one more body? but she's not just one more body. she's your second in command, your confidant, the closest thing you have to a daughter. you don't kill her with the same detachment you do for everyone else. you don't simply pull her onto your blade, you grab her by the throat as you stab her. it's brutal and it's personal, and that makes it so much worse

how, if you end brigmore witches with high chaos, corvo will kill you because you are not true to your word. you say that you feel remorse over jessamine's murder and yet your actions speak otherwise. you are not sincere in your words and while corvo may not know that, the game does. and it's telling you that that's the only way it could end. that if daud goes down that path he will not ever better his ways, nor will he be given the chance to. the only way daud can live is if he is actually committed to change

but despite all those options, in canon, daud gives billie the chance to leave and make a new life for herself. and corvo does the same for daud. and that is a parallel i think a lot about

#the chaos system my beloved #this is a long fucking post that i expect exactly no one to read #but i needed to rant about them for a bit #it's almost 3am my brain is soup #dishonored #the knife of dunwall #brigmore witches #daud #dishonored daud #billie lurk #corvo attano #meta posting on main

[queerdraws]

projecting on luffy again. get bited.

#zolu #luzo #one piece #p.s. i claimed to maximum amount of straw hat badges but im only allowed to display them on my main account 😥 they are with me in spirit #p.p.s. have you ever bit a soft upper arm #i think zoros unflexed muscly upper arms would be the most stimmy thing in the world to chew on #me when i see the pumpkinhead halloween luffy world collectible figure. bite. #or some of the unreleased gear5 figures esp the world collectibles #okay maybe im on a world collectible figure kick i just think they are sooooooooooooooo!!!! (≧∇≦) ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡ #the markup to buy them used is insane tho ;__; so i just love them from afar #honorable mention to the new 20th anniversary action pose luffy with the haki arm and the big big fighting grin #and all babygirl zoros which i what i call zoro wearing any sunglasses but mostly filmz and filmgold sunglasses zoro #and when i see any art of my boys in their cowboy fits!!!!!!! #GGAAAAAH IM SO EXCITED I bought the ao cowboy shimmer print had to get it sent to someone in the states who will then ship it to me ;__; #<3 <3 <3 soon i will hold them. need to get some sort of wall display going for them and my zolu mail #okay okay ive ranted about a million things in the tags now. hope you enjoyed the bited. byeeeee

[arthursfuckinghat]

I know the gang cares about Arthur and they knew his sickness was serious and it's part of the narrative and whatnot, but really would it have killed them to just offer the occasional "is there anything you need Arthur?" or "anything we can do to help?" or even "how are you feeling today?" - I'm sure Arthur would rather be pestered slightly than have his rapid illness get straight up ignored yknow?

#I know you can talk to one of the girls and rev swanson about it #but other than the mood being down at camp everything runs as normal #“hey arthur I know you have a serious illness but I need to you to go hunting get supplies and help micah and john and sadie and bill and-” #my face when susan started ranting about the lockbox getting broken and how upset she was and arthur was just like 😐 #the guy has bigger problems susan I mean that respectfully #😭 #most of arthurs greet lines in beaver hollow are asking how people are doing and thanking them #but whenever anyone speaks to arthur it's always “oh hey arthur” or “dutch told me to tell you to meet him somewhere” #or they express how much they don't like the camp and arthur just apologises #:( #arthur cares so much about them it would be nice to see them appreciate him a bit more #he saved as much of them as he could #oh arthur #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #arthur morgan #red dead redemption community #red dead redemption 2 spoilers #mick thinks

[gobstoppr]

hey guys am i allowed to say on main that i dont like metadad . am i gonna get beaten up for saying this.

guys i think we all took the term found family too literally and now everythings flattened into a boring nuclear family. guys can we stop. hello . is anybody there

#text #it was kinda charming at first but it feels like everytime i try to look at the mk tag its always the same shit . guys. guys. #we can do so much more w/ their dynamics than just dad and son ugh its so . ughhh. #every since i realized i was like . really really aroace. ive started to grow a bit of a distaste for shipping culture #this is relavant i swear. iwanna talk about metadede #like ok in fandoms right. theres often #the enforcement of specific roles onto characters for a simplified understanding of them for memes and drawing ideas #we want gay rep but we dont quite have it canonically so we make our queer headcanons seem more legit #by giving a char a same sex partner. ok easy we did it. gay people are real now #and we get awesome art and its wonderful bc people are wonderful #but its like . the relationships themselves feel flat a lot of the times. #metadede never seems to be about dedede. its about mk having a boyfriend. bc we need him to date someone. #and im not like . mad at anyone about this. i participated in it back in the day. but like. #ok so. gay hcs are the most popular in most fandom things bc its easy; hot; and sweet #but things like aro or ace hcs? its just. they. how can you depict that in a single framed drawing of a char?so theres none at all. #its not even that i actively hc chars aroace its jsut this is my world view; how i default to reading chars #maybe this rant in the tags is unrelated after all. #but idk. ive got lots of thoughts about things. #anyways as ceo of meta knigth im right about everything #i can talk more about metadad stuff specifically if people want

[cashmere-caveman]

The Terror Episode 1 "Go For Broke" & 10 "We Are Gone" | Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot | Carlos Fuentes | Chris Abani, Prelude | Danusha Laméris, Fictional Characters | Rainer Maria Rilke, The First Elegy (trans. Edward Snow) | Sue Zhao, Where to begin? | W. H. Auden, Marginalia | Dalton Day, One-Act Play In Which There Is A Blueprint, & That Blueprint Is Ignored Entirely | Hanif Abdurraqib, ALL THE TV SHOWS ARE ABOUT COPS | Chris Abani, Dog Woman | Len Verwey, Rehearsal Notes | Lena Khalaf Tuffaha, Lullaby | Rainer Maria Rilke, Go to the Limits of Your Longing (trans. Joanna Macy)

Image descriptions in ALT

#the terror #francis crozier #silna #james clark ross #caveweb #i mean technically this is also kind of abt #rossier #but eh. this is about many things. including silna/goodsir and crozier/jopson and colonialism and guilt and The Narrative but im tired so #no big rant. i just love silna. and i have very many thoughts abt her and crozier. also abt him solo but i cant articulate them so take thi #but yeah i love nuance also sorry for being v literal w this sometimes i just had a thought 2 weeks ago and had to do sth abt it #the thought was [terror x rilke] bc the last give me ur hand bit came to me in a vision but then this grew like five new heads #anyway i need to SLEEP. goodnight ilu

[aauroralightss]

i love reading peoples' opinions on trigun but sometimes i will see an opinion that is so like. bewilderingly wrong it actually makes me doubt my own interpretation of the source material

#rora rants #AND THIS IS ON ME. #because sometimes i assume something is obvious when maybe it requires a bit more textual analysis #but then sometimes people TEST me and it's like #i need to write my 200k vashwood character study ten times faster clearly #because what in the world are you people talking about #granted i'm not often fully devoted to the most popular ship in a fandom so the experience of people constantly #banging them over the head with pots and pans #isn't a familiar one to me. because usually in the rarepair fandoms people are OBSESSED with the characters in a #really textual analysis way #so you dont get that #unfortunately vashwood is more popular so... more margin of error #and frankly i'm not incredibly picky i can still enjoy things when i dont completely agree with them #some of my favourite vw fics are ones where i'm like he would not fucking say that but... this is so good #but then other times i'm just baffled! because how did you come to that conclusion #sorry HAHAHA i just had to get this off my chest

[thisismeracing]

Since when did we start charging money on patreon for fanfics 😭😭😭😭 is this for real😭

hi, love. I haven't seen that many people doing the Patreon thing when it comes to fanfic, but it's pretty common for people who draw for example to set up a Patreon. I believe that everyone who does, just like myself, needs the money. I wouldn't be doing it if i didn't need to. I figured the Patreon setup was the best idea since it's not really that common for people to tip writers, we've been struggling with getting reblogs and comments, so you can imagine.

Right now, I'm applying and doing tests to get an internship, which still won't be enough because I'm also trying to apply for a master's. So, yeah, I'm really thankful for everyone who tipped me on ko-fi and subscribed to my Patreon, last month my savings were over, and the Patreon money was what helped me pay for some medical stuff I needed (Idk if you saw the whole mick schumacher's sick club, but yeah — huge thank you for everyone who subscribed/donated btw).

We often see fic writers as little robots who don't eat, drink, or sleep. We request stuff, and expect an instant reply, and when we get the content we don't even go back to the page to tell the writer our thoughts. We don't reblog, nor leave comments, but still, we expect them to keep writing and keep sharing everything as if it didn't take hours, sometimes days to come up with a 1k piece polished to what we think readers will like best. I hope I don't sound rude, I'm just trying to make a point because I'm tired of seeing writers deactivating, tired of seeing my friends getting writer's block and then people still demanding things.

On top of that, I'm still posting a lot here, from smau to blubs and long fic requests (and I won't even talk about how some pieces aren't even getting a hundred notes, which always makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong, if my writing is bad, or if there's anything that I could do to make the reader's experience more enjoyable), and it takes a lot of time, it's even harder to balance the two profiles now, but still, I keep sharing some of my work for free. so please, please, don't make me feel bad about needing money. thanks ❤️.

#I'm still searching like crazy for the best internship that gives me enough time to study for my application and enough money to pay for + #the stuff that I really need #medical bills are expensive #school books and stuff are expensive #we do what we can #and I say we including other writers that relly on donations too #anyways #Im sorry for letting my heart run wild here but I really needed to share this because I'm tired #and I do feel a bit guilty some days for sharing paid stuff because I wanted everyone to read what I post #wanted everyone to enjoy it and gush with me about college!mick and ghost!lewis and so on #but right now that's the best way I found to deal with my current situation #so please please try seeing your writers side #and on top of that make sure youre supporting the people that are here everyday putting their hearts on each piece #and I mean support as in reblog and let them know you liked it and so on #if you can support someone with money thats great #but most of the times a comment and a reblog will make the writers days #it makes mine #I wish you guys could see the smile on my face whenever someone comes back like “hey Im the one who requested x and I loved it” #anyways Im sorry for ranting #I hope I did not come across as rude again #and Im not saying you don't reblog or support your writers this is more of a widely rant #<3 #millies inbox #anon #patreon #f1 fandom

[randaccidents]

Aight I'm awake and writing this in class :3

So, what's up with the shadows in this post? Is that Whole? Ehhh yes and no. That's just a shadow.

Kind of like in Light.

"But wait isn't that Whole" EXACTLY. Whole is a shadow.

And here's where my interpretation steps in. (tossing in a read more this got long)

I think that HMS have always been Whole, in dissonance and harmony alike. There is no higher being they will become when they are harmonious, there is no total being that they make up. They ARE Whole, and there is no Whole. (side note I'm using the "mental illness as a loop" interpretation instead of an actual time loop, there is potential for growth)

So if there is no Whole, why does the shadow exist?

A shadow tends to be what's haunting you, and not what you aspire to be in the mirror. I see HMS pursuing becoming Whole as literally chasing their own shadow, something that doesn't exist yet is still inherently themselves.

Whole, to me, is a shadow that is cast when HMS are together. 'Whole' is a concept that they chase, so he is the concept that they cast.

HMS doesn't reflect Whole, Whole reflects HMS.

As a kind of additional slap to the face, his name is not Whole or Harmonia. He is less than HMS are after all, nor is he the ideal human they are chasing. He is "a sad sulking mess, this human you're being", so he is not Whole. He is also formed regardless of dissonance or harmony as long as they are together, so he is not Harmonia.

His name is Me. ("I AM ME")

There is no god here for you to find. At the end of your faith, there is only Me and Me and Me. You are the gods and titans you have always searched for, Apollo and Artemis and Atlas.

#cccc #chonnys charming chaos compendium #headcanon #character study #a little bit #cj whole #SO YEAH #me and my friend ranting about 'Whole' being represented in canon as a shadow #and what that might mean #and I went 'yeah Imma incorporate that into my belief system' #Whole's name is Me #theres the additional fun little meta narrative of like #HMS have god and titan names but they seek a human #they worship that human as The One God #so to have there be nothing there #to have what they seek literally at their feet and inherent to them this whole time #slap to the face moment #anyways thank you for listening to my ramble about shadow Whole #Imma eventually toss in my interpretation of HMS too #mostly cause Im writing them #I need a new tag for this uhm #rand.hc #Tridential Whole

[thepringlesofblood]

aziraphale being shit at lying but getting away with everything anyway makes so much more sense during the fucking hilarious ass bildad the shuhite scene where gabriel not only doesn't give a shit but doesn't think it's possible for anyone to lie to him. like. i got it before but now i get it get it. the whole job extended flashback storyline is just so perfect.

#i am really trying to focus on the bits i like about good omens 2 bc there are a lot of them #and the vicious impotent rage and betrayal i feel at the finale needs time to leave me slowly #like the fuckin frozen peas? that shit is excellent #the fuckin tire iron lookin thing being the thing that starts the engine on creating a nebula? #chef kiss #and the FLASHBACKS????? #UGHUFHJ #i loved so many of the little details and vibes #that it ultimately made it so much worse when it just. #did. the thing it did. #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #original post #rant #tagpost #fr i am going back into my 'the hebrew bible in an ancient near east context' class notes #to look up more shit about job #bc i fuckin know they hid a few easter eggs in there #good omens is nothing if not cleverly disguised biblical literary analysis

[aria0fgold]

My headcanons for the named trio in The Cursing of Chateau Castle series:

Josephandre is a big bear. It just fits for him I think! He gets he/him pronouns, and as a way to make him a liiiil more relatable for Mira, he'd have two craft types (Rock type being his main one and paper craft for the other). Battle style wise, I think it fits him to be more of a self-sustaining tank. He buffs defense, heals, and puts up shields. For his weapon, he'd use his fists like Isabeau. He'll be the second fastest in the trio.

Lady Irene-Janine-Kanine looks like an elegant noblewoman on the outside but she has vibes similar to Euphrasie! She gets she/her pronouns. Her craft type is Paper. Battle style wise, she's more on the offensive side, a main dps kind of thing. Most of her skills focus on buffing attack and speed, she'd have an item that helps regen her hp a lil bit and her chosen weapon is an umbrella. The tip is a sharp blade so it's used like a spear that has a hidden sword in its handle. Open it, and it becomes a shield! That'd be one of her skills too, although it's only applicable to her. She's the fastest one of the trio.

Pierre-Jacques-Erneste looks like a nobleman and carries himself as such! He gets he/they pronouns. Their craft type is Scissors. Battle style wise, he's more of a debuffer, skills focusing on weakening the enemies, slowing them down, poisoning them. Their weapon is a sword dagger, though he doesn't seem to be able to handle it well, how clumsy! But he Is a nobleman so it makes sense! Oh but... why doesn't he have a title? They're the slowest one of the trio, how strange, he seemed to be faster than Lady Irene-Janine-Karine that one time though.

#aria rants #how do i even tag these things bro im like-- why am i such a fan of a fragmented series in isat #okay so-- josephandre relied mostly on raw strength when he was travelling all alone before meeting the others #and i think he'd have a fun uncle vibe to him. which makes it easy for others to approach him and befriend him #but he Also carries a sort of pride and dignity to him which makes the others mistake him for a nobleman cuz of it #esp considering the fact that he later became famous for helping those in need and such. #lady irene on the other hand. being a noble she's always had to keep her guard up. also doesnt help that noblewomen #got the short end of the stick what with the ''arrange marriage'' things and being below noblemen #her umbrella weapon helps a lot in warding off the assholes. i think that during the journey with josephandre's party #she got to finally be herself without needing to sugarcoat her words in a way that a noble should. she would also figure out a #way to improve on her shield spell to not only apply to just her but her entire party too. she cares a lot about them after all #meanwhile i got a Whole scenario for pierre (being an illegitimate child of a noble family and all that. i made a post bout it) #he's actually a lot more capable than what he makes himself appear as. but its like part of the plan on getting the others #to lower their guards around him for when pierre betrays them. in actuality pierre is actually faster than irene altho #not much stronger still (irene and josephandre are still stronger than him) considering that pierre mainly focused on #stealth type attacks. hes more used to using a sword than a dagger (he mightve wanted to prove their worth) #it makes their battle style and weapon clash due to the fact that swords arent that good for stealth much than a dagger #its one of the reasons why hes trying to get used to the dagger than the sword. but it is a bit difficult to learn a new weapon